#I think my dad pavloved me

[sunnyhvnny]

I know everyone’s first crush when they first watched Lord of the Rings was usually Aragorn or Legolas but I must confess something…

When I first saw it as a kid I was head over heels in love with Pippin. It was so bad that my dad always pointed out that I blushed every time he was on screen.

[nathaslosthershit]

Lie Detector (Teen Dad!OP81 AU)

(Part of the Teen Dad!Oscar AU) Summary: Oscar does a lie detector test and Lando learns some tough pills to swallow.

“So, our first media video for McLaren since the big news came out, right Oscar?” Lando said.

“Yep.” Oscar weakly responded. When McLaren asked him to do the lie detector test again, hoping to poke fun at the recent events, he was weary. He knew his team wouldn’t do anything to hurt him or his family, and it would probably be great from a PR perspective, but he was already tired of constantly answering questions. 

“Or should I call you Daddy Osc now?”

“Please never call me that.”

“So, we are doing a lie detector to try and expose all secrets the two of us may be hiding, like an entire family for example.” Lando, of course, knew about Oscar’s kids before he was exposed, but he still loved the opportunity to poke fun at him for it, even if he totally understood why Oscar did what he did.

“This time, we are using a heavy duty lie detector, with actual wires and someone to tell whether we are for sure telling the truth, instead of a toy that shocks us at random.” Oscar continued, ignoring Lando’s comment.

The words ‘Oscar tells the truth’ flashed on the screen till a wired up Oscar appeared behind the desk.

“Okay Oscar, starting off easy. Is your name Oscar Jack Piastri?” Lando was giddy as he asked, really excited to get information out of his teammate.

“Yes.” was all he responded. Truth.

“Are you originally from Australia?”

“Yep.” Truth. This was easier than he had thought, but looking in Lando’s eyes, he could see the glint of mischievousness in them.

“Are you a daddy?” 

“I am a father, yes. I don’t like the look in your eyes when you call me that.” Truth.

“Do you have any other kids you are hiding?”

“No more than the two.” Truth.

“Am I their favorite uncle?” Lando knew he had it in the bag. The Piastri twins loved him and how much he spoiled them. Their parents? Not so much. Oscar’s fiancee had time and time again argued with the amount of toys Lando would get them at random.

He did begin to sweat a little as Oscar took a little longer to answer the question. He didn’t know how to break the news to him. 

“...Yes.” Lie.

“What! Oscar? You said I was their favorite!” 

“Lando, Logan has been in their life since they were born. He established himself as the cool uncle. When I let him babysit, I always return home to them eating way too much ice cream. To be fair, I think he has trained them like Pavlov’s dogs to associate him with treats so now they get way too excited and jumpy when they see him.” Oscar explained.

“This is stupid anyway I don’t care.” Lando mumbled, caring very much that he wasn’t the favorite. “Moving on, I don’t have any more questions so I guess it is my turn.”

After the video had been filmed, Oscar and Lando walked back over to the meeting room that the Piastri twins and their mother had been given to hang out in while they filmed. On the walk over, Lando interrogated his teammate even more.

“I cannot believe that I am not the cool uncle! I have never not been the cool uncle. Mila thinks I am cool, how do your kids not?”

“Lando, they are three, it is nothing personal. They love the toys you get them and they are always asking for you when they come to the factory. Logan just has seniority over you and has been the cool uncle forever, it is hard to dethrone him after a year.” Oscar said this hoping that it would stop Lando from spoiling them tenfold. 

If anything it just made him even more motivated to overthrow Logan.

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri and 472,264 others

landonorris logansargeant I will become the cool uncle

oscarpiastri lando please. No more toys we don't have the room

logansargeant In your dreams old man.

[kitchenisking]

April Fic Rec

Hello everyone! happy spring! I just want to say thank you to everyone who enjoys my recs. I was thinking of taking a break from posting the last two months but then I thought 'fuck it'. the response that I got from you guys showed me how much my recs are enjoyed! so to everyone that reblog and likes the recs - I see you! I see your names pop up every months and it brings me such joy! and to all the new follower - it makes me happy that new people are finding my recs and are enjoying these amazing stories written by these amazing authors!

please don't forget to kudos and comment for our authors and ill see you soon😘

Knot My Favorite Smell by KnottheWolf - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 2,470, sterek)

Day 1-Scent Marking: Derek just missed his mate, Stiles, so he decides to visit Stiles at college. Only to grow upset when his mate’s room doesn’t smell like him anymore.

Just Stopped Working For Me by dedougal - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 11,447, sterek)

Stiles never expected to meet Derek Hale. He definitely never expected the movie star to slide into his cab and ask for his help.

Clueless by IgnorantofTime - (Rating: G, Words: 1,775, sterek)

Scott comes to the realisation that his best friend is in love with Derek Hale. Now he just needs to make them realise it.

an awful curse by blinkiesays - (Rating: T, Words: 6,253, sterek)

Isaac is asleep in a chair. The angle of his neck makes Derek wince in sympathy.

"Isaac," Derek says.

Isaac snaps awake immediately.

"You're-"

"Where's Stiles?"

"Stiles?" Isaac asks.

Jesus. It's not like they know more than one.

"That’s fate." by EvanesDust - (Rating: G, Words: 2,256, sterek)

…the one where Stiles meets his future husband.

That I Miss You by Noname109 - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 1,741, sterek)

The pounding of the water against the tenseness of his muscles makes Stiles let out a long, drawn out groan of pain and pleasure. After a hard day’s work, the proof of it is shown in the coil and rigidity of his shoulders, torso, and legs. 

And it’s not like he doesn’t love interning under his dad and getting to help out solving crimes and chasing down the bad guys, but at the end of his shift it leaves him gone to the world unless it involves a shower.

He’s so relaxed five minutes into it that he doesn’t even jump when two arms snake around his waist. Stiles just hums contentedly and lets his body go slack.

Things We Know, Unsaid by uraneia - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 6,036, sterek)

Inspired by this Tumblr post, and written for lupinus's birthday.

Stiles accidentally finds a trunk full of Derek's professional dom gear from when he lived in New York. They don't talk about it. Then Stiles turns eighteen, and they do.

*

If he thought Derek would be angry or embarrassed at Stiles finding a trunk full of quality BDSM gear in his closet, he’d have been wrong. “I used to do it professionally, in New York,” Derek says easily, and Stiles—Stiles doesn’t know how to process that. Because he’s seventeen and has eyes and an unfortunately vivid imagination, and if he lets it go there he’s not going to get any use out of any body part except his dick for several hours.

Cravings, Pack and Angry Sex by Jumping_Jess - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 1,953, sterek)

It's a Pavlov response okay?! Pregnant Stiles + Angry Stiles = Horny Derek

Little Red Prince by SterlingAg - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 48,974, sterek)

Running from a group of bandits, Stiles finds himself injured and on the land of none other than the Shifter Derek Hale. But what is a Shifter? Is this Derek a friend or foe? What about the secret Stiles himself is keeping? What will become of the odd pair in this tale set in a fantasy world?

Basketball Shorts and Highlighters by sffan - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 1,720, sterek)

The UST between Derek and Stiles finally reaches a tipping point.

[darby-rowe]

scratching, clawing, knawing, drooling on the bars of my enclosure at the uncle logan blurbs

GOD BECAUSE OKAY JUST HEAR ME OUT

dbf!Logan would use that shit to fuck with her

I imagine like a bit further down the line, they’ve been banging, and like now he just refers to himself as uncle Logan causally whenever he wants to see Bub get all flustered and get under her skin

He’s over to hang with her dad and sees her scurrying off?

“What? You’re not gonna say hi to your Uncle Logan?”

Her car needs to be worked on because its making a funny noise?

“Don’t worry, Uncle Logan will fix it for you, bub.”

She’s lingering around him at one of her parents’ bbq parties?

“Can you be a doll and get your uncle Logan another beer?”

She’s a total klutz and falls and scrapes her knee up?

“You want your Uncle Logan to kiss it better?”

Bub hates it (she’s dripping)

God he would just be so fucking cocky about having that much power over her with just a word.

- 🪱

cw fauxcest

I’LL CUM FR

he pavlovs the fuck out of her. when bub’s parents play along with the “uncle logan” bit she BEGS them to stop saying it because thats her and logan’s thing. no one else’s. but it’s a sticky situation because her parents are all like, “ok, but why does logan get to call himself your uncle but we cant?”

bub gets flustered and is stuttering up a storm trying to think of an excuse. it definitely puts logan on her dad’s watchlist.

now im thinking about logan leaving the party and he’s all like “give ur uncle a hug” and the hug lingers for juuuust a smidge too long and bub’s dad is just…… 🤨

[varpusvaras]

A 10-year-old me heard that I was gonna be an older sibling and without even knowing the gender of the baby, I named them. The name I chose is a nice name but I have zero clue why kid-me liked it so much. I just did and I was insistent. So insistent that the rest of the family also started to call the baby by that name.

The thing is, however, that my dad and step-mom did not really like the name. Like they thought it was fine, but it definitely wasn't their favorite and they would've never thought about it without me bringing it up. They were pretty much just humoring me for the entire pregnancy because I was so excited to have a baby sibling. By the end of said pregnancy they had gotten used enough to the name that they were thinking of maybe using it as one of the middle names as a nod to me.

...and then my sister was born and they very quickly found out that I had quite literally Pavloved them with the name when even thinking about the baby, and they just couldn't call her by any other name anymore.

Second pregnancy and they had vowed that this time they wouldn't let me pull one on them again. Only for me to go hey! This baby needs a matching name! And so that baby also got called by one single name during the entire pregnancy. This time, though, they stayed strong and gave my little brother the name they wanted, and kept the pregnancy name as a middle name.

...and everyone, including they themselves, continued to call my brother by that middle name. He's almost 15 and has never went by any other name. It's quite literally listed on government records as his preferred name. I don't think he even answers to his first name to be perfectly honest.

(My mom, while pregnant with my sister, said that I was not allowed to give any name suggestions. I wonder why.)

[theoutcastrogue]

The Bard's Songs

Come away, O human child! To the waters and the wild With a faery, hand in hand, For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

More than twenty years ago (well fuck me) I made a mixtape for our d&d campaign. That was when people used to burn audio CDs, and this was mixtape #39 (out of 271). I think I was playing an elf bard at the time.

I'm posting it here for posterity, for nostalgia, and as a snapshot of vanilla d&d lore/mood, as I experienced it back in the day. If it seems frightfully basic and predictable, well it was. Pretty much everything in that list is from Britain or Ireland or somehow evoking them. But hey, I ain't from there. It was exotic for me!

So it's vanilla and predictable, my little escapism soundtrack. And you know what else it is? A damn good compilation if I say so myself. "Fisherman's Blues" is one of best albums of all time, Loreena McKennitt is a genius, the Chieftains are giants, Pavlov's Dog are one of the few dad rock bands whose hits didn't age terribly, and hey, because I just listened to the whole thing again, when Enya stops singing "May it be" and the track continues with the Shire and the Fellowship leitmotifs, I am FULLY crying again, just bawling over here.

So here's to 2024, and the next 20 years of roleplaying, or as long as we got. Happy new year, everyone. Squeeze every drop out of life, and may your aim be true. The bard's songs will remain.

Tomorrow will take us away Far from home No one will ever know our names But the bards' songs will remain

In my thoughts and in my dreams They're always in my mind These songs of hobbits, dwarves and men and elves Come close your eyes You can see them too

The Bard's Songs

The Waterboys - The Stolen Child [poem by W. B. Yeats, recited by Tomás Mac Eoin]

Van Morrison & The Chieftains - My Lagan love [trad. Irish]

Savina Yannatou - A fairy's love song [trad. Scottish, Hebrides]

The Waterboys - Dunford's fancy

The Waterboys - When will we be married? [trad.]

Van Morrison & The Chieftains - Carrickfergus [trad. Irish maybe]

Loreena McKennitt - All Souls Night

Loreena McKennitt - The highwayman [poem by Alfred Noyes]

Fairport Convention - Crazy man Michael

Fairport Convention - She moved through the fair [trad. Irish]

Marianne Faithfull - Scarborough Fair [trad. English]

Donovan - Guinevere (live)

Pavlov's Dog - Valkerie

Pavlov's Dog - Episode

Enya - May it be [LotR: The Fellowship of the Ring]

Blind Guardian - The Bard's song (In the forest)

Loreena McKennitt - The Stolen Child

This Compilation (P) 2003, Store of the Worlds, Inc. | No Rights Reserved

[wannaeatramyeon]

You hit the nail on the head! I‘ll ask for more professional assessment: honest opinion on Crystal?

Following on from my ramblings about Sally Park. Oops! Edited to add in Zoe too.

Well written female characters in Lookism? Uhh...

When the bar is at an all time low, it's really not hard to step over it.

At this point, I've been pavloved to think that any female character that expresses a personality trait other than 'simp' is pretty good. Simp is fun when it's part of a list of characteristics (Zack, Ryuhei). Not so much when it's the only thing.

Long live PTJ, the greatest feminist. Anyway.

Female characters I like

Mary Kim

Love her. Empress of 2 seconds. Queen of my heart.

Surprisingly kept a platonic relationship with Vin Jin, showing quite a healthy mixed gender friendship. Sassy and smart. Loyal. Good taste in men (Jace). Is shown having a life and interests outside of a man.

On my hands and knees praying that PTJ doesn't ruin her. Kinda glad she hasn't appeared in a while so she is kept away from his incessant need to turn everyone into a love interest.

Lua Im

Once we got over the odd Johan panels, which I heard the Korean audience didn't like and I'm quite happy about, she's fine. And it's not that I care that much about Johan staying a single dog-dad, I just needed a coherent reasoning/build up why they would be interested in one another.

Lua has potential.

Sourcing intel, even impressing the likes of Gun? A little Muay Thai knowledge? Jake and Jerry scared of her? Lol. Ok. Good. Let's build on this.

Just please don't white knight her.

Crystal Choi (meh)

And Ms. Choi, because anon specifically asked. I really don't mind her? I know she's meant to be anti-Lookism but still judges people based on their looks eh. That's fine. Pretty realistic actually. Whatever.

She can be a bit bitchy for no reason. So can I. Handwaving all that.

What I do take issue with though, is her so called title of Business Genius. Please show me the chapter where she actually does something to earn that title besides the one where other people ooh-ed and aah-ed over her in the meeting with DG.

Wow she's sooooo gorgeous. Ok good for her. If that's the route they're taking her character then at least OWN. THAT. SHIT. Use her beauty and looks to sign deals and get what she wants. GOOD. DO IT.

Zoe Park (also meh... Wait)

Sorry anon, I think 'really well written' is a bit of a reach... She does have some decent character development, starting as quite a flighty, shallow girl and then showing that she has a heart of gold, liking both Daniels and. Huh.

Wait. You're right. She is pretty well written. She's selfless and kind and loyal to her friends, putting up with Logan's bullshit. There's enough of a character arc for her from the Zoe we're introduced to at first.

And I do like that she's good at maths too.

Wasted potential

Minseong Kang (Jake's momma)

Appreciate this is the older generation and from a much more conservative culture. Saying that, I am so over the slighted and bitter housewife rotting at home while her big powerful husband cheats on her.

And then some sort of marriage redemption cos they pop out a kid. Whatever. (Sorry Jake bb, I love you).

If you were going to do that, give me the most toxic red flag shit where they are constantly at each other's THROATS. Show me how they are equals. Can't live with or without one another. That's the good kinda shit.

Leonn Lee

I just. What the fuck was this.

A girl in Burn Knuckles? A group that reeks of testerone and (positive) masculinity? Show us why she joined! Show us why she stays. SURPRISE. Main character trait?? Having a crush on Vasco.

She could have been SO interesting. And she obviously trains, why not get her to fight?

Hate for irrational reasons

Joy Hong

Listen, she's not really in enough or significant enough for me to really feel one way or another about her. BUT. The reason I HATE her is because I was trying to write a headcanon involving everyone and then I got to Joy and I was STUMPED.

Sub in a plank of wood, and it would have the same depth of personality.

Truly. Who is she apart from Jay's sister and a Daniel simp? At least everyone else has something.

Others

I don't really think about them. Sera Shin has potential I guess.

And of course a special mention to Daniel's momma. She's not exactly a unique character, but who doesn't love her?

LET. THEM. FIGHT.

Lastly. Why can't we see women fight? Like the men's fights are realistic LOL. Ultra instinct? Smashing through walls? So why are women fighting men outside the realms of this.

And yes yes. Men are SoOoOoOo strong. But can they take a kick to the balls?

Are you saying Gun Park has been training his dick and balls and would be able to eat a hit there? He wouldn't go down like a heap of shit??

HUH. TELL ME THAT.

In Summary

Mary by and large is pretty well written. Lua has improved.

I don't care much about anyone else.

And I wanna see Gun, Goo, Sammy, Vin etc. get kicked in the balls in a fight.

[sunstream7]

Phone Charms

OC x Canon -1429 words JB, the world's worst person to ask for a good plan or for reasons not to go for the guy

“JB, I know you say you support my decisions wholeheartedly and by that you mean you think I should do whatever I want because it entertains you, but you have GOT to talk me out of sending this text.”

“Do it, what's the worst that could happen?”

Chiara could barely hear her own disappointment over JB’s snickering, rubbing her temples as if trying to soothe an idiot induced migraine. She was, of course, except this time she was the idiot inducing her own mental anguish.

“Walk me through why you like him again? Well- aside from the obvious.”

“I don't KNOW why I like him! That's the problem!”

“Its because he’s hot, isn't it?”

Chia could hear the smugness dripping off of each of JB’s words, and that same ‘gotcha’ smirk that she’s almost permanently had since day one.

“I guess? I mean it helps, but like- thats a subjective thing”

“Nuh uh, he is OBJECTIVELY hot”

“What if I was a lesbian?” “Are you?” “If I was, I wouldn't be daydreaming about kissing that AWFUL man during math class-”

“-and during every other class, and group meetings, and afterschool, and during lunch, and-”

JB was cut off with a firm smack to the back of the head, which, unfortunately, did little to dissuade her, just sending the girl into a fit of laughter, which much to Chiara's dismay, didn't stop her tangent.

“Hells- why do we like ANY of them? They're all terrible!”

“You’re terrible too, that's why I have to deal with dumb and dumber every day.”

“Okay glass house, you’re in the ‘we all suck but it's okay because we’re attractive’ group too! And don't give me any of that ‘It’s different’ bullshit, we all know you've got some DeEp AnD eDgY bAcKsToRy- WAIT”

Lord help everyone involved every time JB had an idea. Chiara loved the girl, but her ideas would give Jackass a run for their money. Her last three ‘theories’, read as ‘godawful plots, plans, and schemes’ were:

1- Pavlov Pran into liking her (Ayla beat her to the psychological tricks, she wears vanilla perfume for a reason)

2- Get Lynn to organize a group meeting and bank on Pran being late, leaving Chiara as the only person to fill him in on what happened (Chiara made a mental note to bring a non-romance novel to book club, since JB clearly doesn't need any more fuel to her little meet cute scenarios) (Lynn also didn't agree, citing the fact that it would be ‘too mean spirited’ to play a trick on someone who already struggled to come to meetings. Chiara later learned that this was not only directed at Pran, and was a vague comment on her own habitual tardiness. Jerk)

3- bribe Jeremy into getting Pran to go somewhere, only to bait-and-switch him into a date. (He would just leave. Chiara would also probably leave. And that was if they could get the world's most apathetic man to do something in his life. JB and Ayla were good at strong-arming people into things, but anything JB asked would get back to Pran, and anything Ayla did would result in unknowable amounts of psychological damage.)

“CHIARA I KNOW WHY YOU LIKE HIM, HE’S FUCKED UP LIKE YOU-”

Maybe the psychological warfare was actually the better plan. Did health insurance cover ‘damage inflicted by two brutal high school girls?’

“Wow. thanks for the character analysis”

Not a single part of her dry tone put JB off, simply encouraging her.

“I KNOW! I’m so good at this! But seriously! Can’t you guys bond over deeply rooted childhood traumas or something?!-”

The law would understand underage drinking at times like these

“-Jeremy already talked major shit about Pran’s parents during that one meeting, and you've said some nasty shit about your dad-”

“-Del’s dad-”

“-Right, sorry, Del’s dad, but STILL! He’s so hateful, there’s got to be some room in that cold dead heart for someone who can be as bitter as he is!”

Lynn recommended deep breaths to collect herself, it was some bullshit advice, but it had trained Chiara in the art of ‘worlds most disappointed sigh and glare.’ This wasn't enough to stop JB. Nothing ever was. As much as Chiara admired her determination, it was a lot more fun when she wasn't on the receiving end of it.

“Hear me out-”

“-How about i dont-”

“-Shut up, you dont have a choice, now im actually onto something.”

Wow. A cold day in Hell. No sense fighting, it would only make JB dig her heels in deeper at this point.

“Everyone knows that man has not felt an emotion since the eighteen hundreds that isn't spite, loathing, or irritation, and are you any different?” “HEY!- I have emotions-”

“That aren't anger, bitterness, or hypertension?”

“Hypertension isn't an emotion-”

“-Shut up, im not done. There's CLEARLY some overlap there. Now I'm not saying you have to armchair psychologist him, and if you say the word ‘fix’ I will throw something at you, because we don't need you looking like Bob the builder, but you can relate.”

“And why does that matter?”

“Arent you the one that always says you should have a good foundation before adding romance?”

“JB, hatred towards the world doesn't classify as a ‘good foundation-”

“Besides the point-”

“Then WHAT is the point?!”

Most days Chiara could sit through rants of all kinds. It was good background noise, her own personal podcast about drama and relationships and people she really wont admit to caring for, but this was her own love life- or lack thereof- and so being read to filth in some roundabout way of understanding her own romantic longing.

“I think you two have more fundamental similarities than you’d like to admit.”

She wasn't getting out of this for the next three to five business days, was she?”

“Do I even want to ask you to elaborate?”

“Nope! Because I’m going to anyways!”

That self-approving grin was back in full force as JB launched into another borderline incoherent ramble.

“You’re like- the same person! Sure he is literally the polar opposite when it comes to behavior, you reactive dog of a woman, but still! Something or other about core values, you get it?”

Chiara just let her shoulders slump, shrugging as she finally met JB’s excited gaze.

“Honestly? I don't. At least there's something redeemable about him somewhere, even if its buried in that-”

“-Cold dead heart?”

“I was going to be nicer, but yeah.”

JB was quiet for a long while, and Chiara wasn't going to spoil that silence earlier than necessary, but when JB spoke up again, her voice was softer than normal, almost sympathetic.

“You said there was something redeemable about him.”

“Of course there is. Theres.. Something at least alright in almost everyone, even if they are absolutely awful”

“So what’s his?”

She could use a cop-out answer. Something easy. A “He’s hot” or “It’s impossible to rile him up so I can talk about whatever I want”JB would probably take that.

“He’s… really good to the people he cares about. They are few and far between, but it's.. Almost loyal to a fault.”

Ah. The dreaded ‘Ah-Ha!’ moment. A ‘Eureka!” if you will. You could practically hear the gears turning as Chiara tried to rationalize her own damning evidence, which, clearly, wasn't happening fast enough by JB’s standards, as any thought that had been loading was quickly dispelled by her words.

“And YOU, my friend, are the exact same way! You're just more… vulnerable with who you actually like! Same bitch, same problems! See? I am SO smart!”

Any other words she said quickly blended into the usual background sound, was she? Was she really the same way? It was rare to have real thought provoking discussions when it came to the art of wooing, but maybe JB had been onto something. The world was unkind and unfeeling- explained as ‘life just kinda sucks sometimes’ or ‘everything in this world is awful.” and yknow, the world is really awful sometimes- she could reconcile with that viewpoint. It was far from the most awful thing about the world. 

She scooped up her little brick of a phone, a Nokia, still with the antenna, and stared at the typed out message for a few more moments before sending it, tossing the phone in her bag without waiting for a response, and beep of possible rejection drowned out by the jangle of copious amounts of phone charms.

| can we go to the botanical gardens this sunday?

[ambriel-angstwitch]

DogBird is Zukka Coded

Sorry that I’m scared of thunder like a dog I know that you love rain

I’ve seen fics where Zuko loves the rainy season because it reminds him of his childhood but I raise you Zuko being afraid of storms due to trauma because what comes with thunder (lightning which two of his family members have tried to kill him) with each roll of thunder his scar burns. On the other hand I think Sokka would find the rain interesting coming from a place where it only snows, now that he doesn’t have to worry about camping in it he’d be able to see more of its beauty.

But I cry when something shakes the walls Tail between my legs I scratch while you relax Ruffling feathers watching storm clouds pass

Zuko has so many problems beneath the surface that come out at night as he can’t help but dream of them. Sokka to Zuko seems perfect, seems like he came out of this fine, relaxed he might even comfort Zuko when they happen. Zuko worries he’s ruffling Sokka’s feathers that he’s damaging him or at least inconveniencing him.

Hoping I’ll make you hate the thunder too Digging in my claws will make you hate me too

Zuko can’t help it though. He lashes out. He tries to make Sokka hate him sometimes because that’s what he deserves

I can’t stand you in my bed You’re too gentle I need you to hurt me back instead

Zuko’s not used to the gentleness that Sokka provides. He grew up in a household where hurt was common and love was less so. He knows he’s hurt Sokka and he doesn’t understand why Sokka won’t hurt him back. He needs Sokka to do it so things make sense.

I wish I could take you back to California Where you’ve never heard of creatures like me Little Bird won’t you fly away Little Bird won’t you fly away

Zuko doesn’t understand why Sokka sticks around with all that he’s done. He thinks it would better if he just stayed in the Water Tribe where he didn’t have to deal with any of the Fire Nation’s problems

And sorry that I roll over to my folks It’s not that I’m ashamed But they keep me on the leash to choke

Zuko feels bad that he keeps their relationship secret. He loves Sokka so much and he isn’t really ashamed of it. But years of his family and nation telling him that all this is wrong isn’t going to go away instantly. His advisors likely also urge him against making his relationship public as it would make his rulership even more unsteady.

I’m a hunting breed And bird is all they eat If they sniff you out, they gnash their teeth

The Fire Nation is a warring country. Zuko was taught for years to see Sokka as lesser, as something to be consumed to better the nation. He knows this aspect of his nation. Many of the Fire Nation nobles probably don’t respect Sokka.

I’m a coward scared of living outside Even if it means I crush you at my side

Being sent outside is a punishment used on misbehaving dogs which is the analogy used for the first lover (Zuko). Zuko’s afraid what the Fire Nation would do to him and Sokka if they found out about their relationship so he pushes Sokka away at social functions

When the bell rings My mouth waters I’m a habit That won’t alter

This lyric is so Genius it’s in reference to the Pavlov’s dog experiment. Zuko has behaviors that his dad instilled in him that are still there because they don’t just go away.

I’m an instinct Don’t you fear me? Hunting songbirds in my sleep

Zuko doesn’t understand how Sokka doesn’t fear him all the time despite what he’s done. This would be made worse if Sokka had nightmares about when Zuko hunted them (hunting songbirds in his sleep) Sokka doesn’t consciously fear Zuko but his subconscious still remembers being a kid who constantly feared sudden attacks.

Sorry that I don’t treat you like I should I only lick my wounds

Zuko feels bad because he can’t be everything that Sokka needs. He never really learned how to be soft and how to comfort Sokka. Sokka’s always there for Zuko after a nightmare but Zuko doesn’t know how to reciprocate especially considering he’s part of the cause. He only ever learned how to treat his own injuries which also makes it hard for him to accept when Sokka tries to help him.

Teeth bared, and snap “You’re all that’s good”

Zuko is convinced that Sokka is the only thing good in this entire relationship, the light of his life, he doesn’t bring anything good to the relationship, he’s nothing good

If I chase you away I’m back to chasing tail Running circles after what was real

If Zuko with all his jagged pieces convinces Sokka to leave him he’ll be back to chasing hopeless dreams of honor, and of earning love from everyone in his nation

And maybe one day I’ll catch it, and I’ll cry Wishing that little songbird was still mine

And maybe someday he will gain the love of all his nation, all the assassination attempts and the uprisings are over, but he’ll still have lost one of the only people who loved him unconditionally despite all his wrongdoings and harsh features

This song was too perfect for Zuko with its narrative of lashing out because of the homophobic household that Dog grew up in.

[arkhammaid]

AAAAHHHH, i was just toying around with ideas and am soooo happy i hit bullseye!!!!

Now the relevant questions...

when is the baby conceived? bc that HAS to be a magnussen (aka sticking it on pole and having a child 10 months later). it has to happen after BAKU, no? bc you said they kiss/fuck the first time after qatar and i don't think mark will allow to hit it bare yet. and hungary was so anticlimactic (pun intended 😏) that's not happening, so it HAS to be baku, right? Right?!!! RIGHT?!!!!! bc i don't think oscar cannot wait (me, it is me, i cannot wait) another year for the championship for it....

ALSO what will the grid family tree now look like with seb as charles grid dad and charles as oscars and mark as oscars wife... O.o

(violently kicking my legs under the table rn bc I'm in the office indulging in girl!mark brainrot and can't insanely giggle anymore bc the colleague two places down returned from lunch and already looked at me strange) sincerely, thank you for indulging me <3

- "pretty twinks half my age" anon (going with 💫 now bc that's how my head feels like)

anon i love you literally hit me with anything and my brain will make it work. send me gold and i will make a fucking ring out of it to put it on your finger because you are yapping at ME, like i feel so honored do you understand???

okay so. rough timeline of markoscar happening is:

qatar 2024 oscar wins, celebration is a dinner and oscar and mark get wine drunk and they kiss. then they fuck.

winter break is where they get real nasty, after mark sorts her shit out and oscar coming back in february 2025 is a changed man. rougher, nastier, cuntier, with a nasty aussie accent

the conversation of "i will peg you if you win the championship" happens after the first or second race week and oscar wakes up. taking his own joke 'no friends, only enemies' very seriously. oscar heart eyes is over we only have... oscar. future word champion.

it takes a few races and oscar starts to lead the championship and this is where mark gives him a reward (pavlov trained the shit out of him), aka allows him to fuck him bare. once. and would you look at that, ms mark webber is pregnant!

yada yada, oscar win's the championship in mclaren, mark is visibly pregnant but still pegs him as promised, he slaps a ring on it, max has his light bulb moment somewhere in between, oscar becomes a father, gets even nastier on track, 2026 is ANOTHER wdc where he was literally fist fighting god. like, NASTY. he brought the old f1 back and all because of one woman. the power mark has...

do NOT ask for the grid family tree because fernando just laid claim on oscar as son and max is happily his brother, due to nando also adopting him, while charles is oscar's father but also having an affair with max? the more you think about it, the more you get confused. what's important, markoscar is real and true

(you and me both nonnie. i'm typing away on my laptop while my dad is walking around while being on the phone and i'm trying to hide my grin or else he will come suddenly up to me and i will NOT do this today-)

[jamiesfootball]

2 & 14

2. How did you get the idea to write this?

oh god, you're gonna get it (you have not been given love) - Dissatisfaction with the Jamie's dad thing between Mom City and the finale started it, but then Roy going to therapy and becoming the new manager sealed it. There was just so much to explore. Plus, they gave my boy canonical depression in the second to last episode. How am I supposed to not do something with that?

From there it turned into a fun tetris puzzle of 'hmm, here's EVERYTHING THEY DIDN'T USE. FAIR GAME NOW.'

I still feel like the same person I’ve been - aside from really really wanting to dig into the between moments of certain episodes, I've always liked the concept of a character who goes through tons of emotional development but when they look back at it they're like 'so why am I still me? why don't I feel like I've changed?' By tying this together with the pavlov thing, I thought it added an interesting echo. You are the same, but you've changed. You are still the habits you've learned, and they'll happen to you over and over again. Things will repeat, but that doesn't mean they have to stay the same. (I like themes)

the vacant house behind our home - I got a prompt from an ask game: “I have an idea, but you’re not going to like it.” I liked the peril of it, the lingering threat out of eyeshot bracketed by the pretense of a buy-in. But I had nowhere to put it. The easiest idea was to give it to one of the players, but that felt too easy and didn't spark any good brain juice. Then I was re-listening to some of the first episodes of Welcome to Night Vale and the idea came to me of Ted, the talker that he is, having to walk someone through this horrible nightmare of a place. From there the investigator, the journalist (scientist) Trent fell into place as the one who would remain calm enough to ask the right questions, and a dialogue was born

you're gonna go far kid - an old idea that I got from someone else who suggested that what with his stunt as an Amsterdam tour guide, Jamie would make a fun travel host. At the time I read that, I had just cracked on this backstory for Isaac that he's actually really into archeology. From there it was easy to slot into place - Jamie, Isaac, and Colin doing a mini travel show. Isaac with the old history and the archeology and Jamie with the culture and the latest things to do. Colin there, basically just hanging out. Occasionally Isaac and Jamie will disagree and he'll be the tie breaker. He really is the deadpan third wheel who has people going 'why the hell is that guy there?'

Mostly Colin is just grateful that he gets to go on holiday and didn't have to do any of the planning. He's living the dream.

Then someone popped up in my ask box and was all 'oh what about a fic where Jamie wins an award and everyone is proud of him?' and my brain for some reason went 'you have the travel thing loaded. give him a webby.' 'but that would have to be after he retired.' 'yep' 'so wouldn't that also be a really sad time?' 'yep'

Oh. Oh.

So now i have a fic where jamie copes with the death of his career by starting a tiktok recipe channel and becoming a mini Anthony Bourdain, and many people are proud of him. Comedy!

14. Is there any unwritten/unpublished fics you planned on doing, but now you're feeling like you're gonna scrap those ideas?

I don't think I've scrapped anything ever in my life. Either they'll get written, or they'll sit around in my drafts taunting me, or they'll slowly morph into something I can use somewhere else. Ideas are made for keeping, I think

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for trying to help my half-brother? (OC ask)

Ok so I (m 30’s) really have been trying to help my (m 30’s) half brother stop being so weird. He lives by the lake and eats fish and raw meat and also does this CONSTANTLY. I’m a doctor so it’s a pretty big deal, and just recently he got a really severe disease after biting someone at my work.

So he’s in quarantine and here’s where my family thinks I’m the asshole. I’ve been taking use of my role as a doctor to try and teach him better habits except my twin brother (m 30’s) thinks I’m commuting a crime. He says I’m teaching my bother disordered habits and that my form of training is harsh, cruel and unusual.

Really it’s like Pavlov and those dogs, but on a person. I think it’s justifiable if it’s for a good cause, but my siblings (I have 9… it’s a lot) really hate me for this and my one dad doesn’t want to talk to me until I can give a genuine answer as to why. He doesn’t like the one I already have.

So, am I the asshole here?

Edit: no chat nobody else knows we’re related.

Edit 2: yes I have an eating disorder but I’m not teaching him those behaviors on purpose it’s just kind of happened.

[anxyetydiagnosed]

Okay hi i rant easily so

Rant from currently undiagnosed bitch about stupid diagnosis bullshit yee haw lets go

Currently according to doctors and what not I'm ADHD, axiety and, depression

I'm trying to change that because uh shit doesn't feel like it covers all the internal bullshit

The three things I think I might have are autism, Bpd, and/or CpTSD.

All of these fucking overlap in some way or another

Bpd and Cptsd in particular are commonly swip swapped or misdiagnosed

Autism isn't something I plan to really look into professionally cause I already have a hard enough time being treated like an adult. Diagnosis is nice but fuck that if I lose rights and shit. I'll deal with it on my own.

Anyways.

I've been to therapists. plural. The several as a kid I don't really remember and don't really care because I only went because my parents bitched about my ADHD being a problem.

The two most recent therapists were.... frustrating, to say the least.

The first one I went to recently [like in the past three years ish] I started seeing because of a "friend intervention" hosted by someone I considered one of my closet friends who was uhhhh fucking abusive. So not a great place to start. And my head was very fucked because everyone around me was either actively abusive or younger than me and used to the same abuse I was. The things I brought up were heavenly based on the accusations of someone who didn't actually care about my wellbeing. Someone who just wanted me to be their constant source of admiration and praise. They told me I lacked empathy. Called me selfish and lazy. Said I deserved everything my parents did and was ungrateful. And so many other things that lead me to entering therapy questioning if I was a fucking narcissist. Again. Not a good way to start. But eventually we started steering into bipolar territory and that kinda stuck. Well it stuck with my therapist but not me. The more I learned about bipolar and the more I got to learn about myself away from "friend" and the cotton they stuffed in my head, the less accurate it was for me. But my therapist refused to change even though I told him all these things dont fit they're kinda close in some aspects if you squint but no. He kept insisting he was right. This along with the fact that he tried to get me to try and train my dad like pavlovs dog [fucking behaviorism] as well as told me "You should become an influencer. I hear they make good money these days" lead to me finding a different therapist.

So I got a new therapist. I brought up Bpd and the fact that I check off almost the entire diagnostic list. She spent the entire session talking about the one symptom on that list that I do not exhibit. So that was fun.

I'm moving states in the next year so I'm kinda just.. giving up on shit for now. I'd rather get all my undiagnosed physical issues dealt with and work with therapy and shit after I move.

So that's a whole tangent from the original post I'm sorry but uhhh something slightly most on topic in all my looking into bpd I've noticed a lot of it is a. stereotyped and/or b. totally from an outside perspective which makes it difficult to go hey maybe that's me. There were two videos that I saw that helped me consider it an option let me see if I can find them.

I think these are them yee haw

Sorry I'm all over the place I'm still getting used to writing again and I'm very tangential. Also no expert and uh messy brain yee have good day

As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.

[kmarttelescope13]

Pavlov's Favorite

My roommate and I are bullshitting on the couch at the end of a long day and an even longer week. It’s past eleven, so I make no fucking sense, but without thinking I go ahead and say it:

Wouldn’t it be fucking sick to be a dog?

No more responsibilities, yeah, but wouldn’t it be so nice to just be wanted?

I mean, people keep dogs just because. They don’t have to be useful, they don’t have to kill intruders or anything, they just have to be.

My roommate looks at me sideways and tells me that’s a weird fucking thing to say.

She then asks if I’m a furry.

No, I say, really think about it.

Imagine being chosen by a family. Out of the dozens of dogs in the shelter, they choose you, specifically.

Imagine being coddled by the mother, getting fed table scraps by the kids, having your ears pulled by the baby that doesn’t know any better, being grudgingly pet by the dad who never wanted you anyway but who will cry in front of his children for the first time when you die.

Imagine having love given to you unapologetically, frequently, publicly.

Imagine the warm bed and the quiet nights.

You wouldn’t know anything about that, though,

because you’re used to hard concrete and slamming doors.

Nobody likes a dog that won’t stop barking.

They've been put down for less.

You’re trying in vain to contain this burst pipe you call a mouth,

because you can’t just wear jeans on a Friday,

you have to tell everyone that you’re something to be looked at, something to be admired,

making up for lost time–

time spent with your nose in a textbook and your head in the clouds.

Apparently, you were supposed to be worrying about a different kind of head.

Does he know what the flag pins on your backpack mean?

Does he like you more when you’re in a skirt or dress? Does he find you repulsive in the sweatpants and the binders? Do you really think that men– honest, stand-up, cool young men– will like you?

You’re overthinking again. You’re always the garden shears, the car crash, the accidentally-detonated landmine, the stray bullet in a residential area, the neighbor’s chihuahua that likes to bark at exactly two in the morning.

You’re always the fucking problem, Avery. You’d be a horrible dog. People don’t like them when they beg.

And my roommate tells me that maybe it’s time for bed.

[iamcrystalqueer]

sometimes I think about how I’m fairly certain that my dad accidentally has pavloved me into being disgusted by the smell of men’s deodorant and perfume.

[sagekjs21]

OK, first of all I'm a psychology major so I know quite a bit about operant conditioning, and your logic is flawed. This would be more of a classic conditioning situation, think Pavlov's dogs. My children would know that going near the road unattended can lead to being spanked. You're also under the assumption that I would leave them unattended which is absolutely not true. However, children are capable of running very fast so this would be a precaution, not a standard. While a three or four-year-old may not understand the logic behind traffic, they can certainly understand that if they go near the road without mom or dad they will experience a very mild amount of pain. This is not abuse, this is protection. And believe me, I have definitely considered your question before. I have been thinking about this subject for literally over 20 years. I've made up my mind. 

When people get pregnant, they will give up smoking, give up alcohol, give up coffee and soda, give up fondue and raw cheese, give up cold cuts and sushi, all because they have heard somewhere, from someone, that these things can be bad for the baby. They don’t know the research, haven’t looked at the studies, can’t talk about sample sizes and control groups. But their dedication to their future child’s safety is so strong, their caution is so overpowering, that they give up these things just in case. 

So it baffles me when those same people will insist on spanking their kids. 

Even when they are shown the research.

 Regardless of what the experts in the field say. 

No matter who says it. 

Or how it is said. 

People are so invested in this ability to hit their kids without judgement or consequence, that it absolutely confounds me.