#I think it's interesting to see what other people are listening to

[nick-writes-stuff]

Various Squid Game Characters x reader, A Chance Meeting After the Games

Includes: Thanos, Nam-gyu, Dae-ho, In-ho, and Gyeong-seok (Player 246)

!warnings: drug use (Thanos and Nam-gyu), canon-typical violence (All), implied fem!reader [reader called señorita] (Nam-gyu), Gyeong-seok is probably ooc, use of y/n (In-ho, Gyeong-seok), ~1k words each

a/n: hey guys! i've been cooking this one for a while but it's here now! i think i probably could have done these more justice by making them individual and fully fleshed-out fics, but i still like the way these turned out. hope you enjoy!

Player 230, Thanos:

The two of you never formally agreed to meet up anywhere. You hadn't thought about it because you had been so scared that you wouldn't make it out of there alive. He didn't consider it because he was high for a considerable amount of time.

But you both realized it the second you got back to your routine. Well, as routine as things could be after experiencing something like the games.

You found yourself missing the cheesy flirting and the pet names. But it was the quiet moments in between his rambunctious highs that truly stole your heart. Beneath the chaotic exterior, there was a man who cared about you more than he liked others to think.

He missed your flustered reactions and genuine interest in him. You didn't throw yourself at him because he was a celebrity. You didn't just like Thanos, but you saw him for Su-bong, a person he hadn't felt like for a long time.

It was a good thing Thanos was never hard to find. He was an up-and-coming celebrity after all, so it was very easy to find a show near you and buy tickets. You added the meet and greet package as well so you could talk to him. Normally, this would have been out of your price range, but that wasn't an issue anymore.

You had never heard of Thanos before the games, so you didn't really know what to expect. There was a part of you that assumed he had been exaggerating his influence in the games to appear cooler, but he clearly wasn't.

There were a few moments during the show where he thought he saw you in the crowd, but he disregarded it. Between the lights in his eyes, the sheer amount of people before him, and the drugs in his system, he didn't trust his own perception right now.

He was probably just seeing what his subconscious wanted him to. Because he really, really wanted to see you.

As the VIP ticket holders were being escorted to the designated meet and greet location, you listened to the fans talking highly of Thanos. It was oddly comforting to hear people praise him like you would. You got so used to the players in the game shit-talking him. You were glad that you weren't the only one who saw something good in him.

While you were in line, you eventually caught the gaze of Nam-gyu. He opened his mouth to say something, but you stopped him with a finger to your lips. He gave you a knowing look and a smirk, keeping quiet.

As you neared the front of the line, you looked down to your phone, trying to avoid looking at him so as to not spoil the surprise. You did hear a fan behind you give a distasteful comment about your demeanor, but you didn't care.

“Next.” Nam-gyu said, signaling you to step forward. You slid a CD case toward him. He didn't look up. You could see that he was getting a little burnt out from the sustained interaction with fans. Either that or the drugs were wearing off. Maybe both. “Who should I make it out to?” He asked, holding a marker in his hands.

You smirked slightly. "Player 438.” You said.

He started to sign it, getting his signature written and pausing as he realized what you said your name was. You could see his eyebrows furrow as he thought about it for a moment before looking up at you.

He gave a gasp of shock before laughing. “Oh my god, no way you're here!” He said loudly. He got up from his seat, walking around the table to pull you into a tight hug.

You laughed as well, hugging him back as you heard some of the fans who were still waiting murmur about you. “Of course I am, I missed you.” You said, soft enough that only he could hear it.

When he pulled away from the hug, you could see the goofy smile on his face and you couldn't quell the fluttery feeling in your stomach. “Bro, how did you know that I would be here?” He asked.

You were the one being confused now. You blinked a few times, trying to process what was going on. Did he just-

You stopped your train of thought when you noticed just how large his pupils were. He definitely wasn't sober right now.

You laughed. “Thanos, it's literally your show.” You said. He let out a soft “oh” when he realized his mistake.

He told you to stick around while he finished his obligations and you obviously agreed.

You, Thanos, and Nam-gyu spent the rest of the evening in Thanos's trailer. You all ordered an embarrassing amount of fast food to share between you three.

You all just sat on the floor and talked. There was a lot of catching up to do regarding what had happened since the games ended. It had been a month or two since you all had seen each other.

It felt like you talked for hours. You could notice the drugs leaving Thanos's system. His voice slowly got softer and his demeanor was becoming less chaotic.

Eventually you leaned your head on Thanos's shoulder, an action that actually made him blush slightly.

“I really missed you, you know?” He said quietly.

You smiled up at him. “I did, too.”

You were telling him and Nam-gyu about something your landlord had said to you, but his mind was elsewhere, trying to figure out how to ask you to go on the tour with him. He didn't want to be apart from you anymore.

----

Player 124, Nam-gyu:

“Do you think we'll ever see each other again after this?” You had asked before the vote. A few more games had taken place, and the player numbers had decreased enough that most players were satisfied with the amount they would be taking home. It seemed that you guys were really going to make it out of here.

His face remained blank. “Would you even want to?” He asked, sounding uninterested. But he was actually ecstatic that you even considered seeing him after this. He was just afraid you wouldn't be okay with his… hobbies.

You seemed confused. “Why else would I ask?” You responded.

He shrugged. “I don't know. I just didn't think clubs and drugs were your thing.” That wasn't something that was going away after this. Honestly, he knew himself and Thanos, some of this money was going to be used to go on a bender.

You sighed. “They aren’t. But I think I could tolerate it if I got to see you.” You said.

He rolled his eyes, trying to remain unaffected but you could see the faintest dusting of pink on his face. “You are so cringe.” He said with a scoff.

You gasped in mock offense. “Wow.” You said, crossing your arms. “I should have let you die during Mingle.” You spat with false venom.

He laughed, shaking his head. Your look of annoyance softened, smiling at your success in making him laugh.

When he spoke again, his tone was much more genuine. “Well, you'll know where to find me.” He said before nodding toward Thanos. The purple-haired man was tormenting Myung-gi again. “Wherever that dumbass is, I'm usually there babysitting him.” You both laughed.

When you got out, you had some things you had to deal with before you could think about seeking out Nam-gyu. You needed to find a new place and get things back into working order in your life. You had been kicked out of your apartment right before you had met the Salesman, so you needed to find a place to stay and replace most of your belongings.

Every day that passed after the games had ended felt like a weight on Nam-gyu's shoulders. At first, he tried to get rid of the feeling with drugs, but that was only a short-term solution.

Were you ever going to seek him out? Maybe you had just been trying to be nice to him. Did you ever actually intend on coming, or were you trying to let him down easy? Why did he think this would be any different? His brain couldn't shut off the rumination, and he hated it.

You did try to find him eventually. It had been a few weeks until you got back on your feet, but you couldn't stop thinking about how much you wanted to see him again. So when you heard Thanos would be doing a set at a local nightclub, you jumped at the chance to go.

You found your way across the dance floor, pushing your way through the crowd to get closer to the stage. You could hear members of the crowd talking about how excited they were to see Thanos perform, but that was the farthest thing from your mind.

When you got to the entrance of the backstage area, you looked around for any sign of him. You didn't see him, and it seemed like the bouncer had left the area for a moment. You entered the backstage, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible. People don't ask questions unless you don't seem like you are supposed to be there.

“Hey, what do you think you're doing?” You heard a deep voice call out from behind you. You winced, thinking of ignoring him but you ultimately turned around. “This is a restricted area. You can't be here.”

Before you could say anything, you heard a different voice. “Back off, they're with me.” You turned to see Nam-gyu with his arms crossed, giving the bouncer a glare until he backed down and left you alone.

You sighed in relief. “Thank you.” You said softly, taking a step toward him.

Before you could say anything else, Thanos emerged from what you assumed to be his dressing room. Upon seeing you, he laughed loudly. “Hey, I was wondering when you'd finally show up. Did you miss me, señorita?” He asked, a flirtatious glint in his eyes. From his demeanor, you could tell he was definitely high.

“Dude, what the hell?” Nam-gyu said with annoyance.

You chuckled awkwardly to try to clear some tension. “It's nice to see you too, but that's not why I'm here.” You said.

Thanos seemed puzzled, his brain taking longer to piece together the situation due to the substances. He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Don't tell me you came here to see Nam-su and not-” You both corrected him in unison.

“Yeah. Nam-gyu, whatever. I-” Thanos said dismissively, but he was interrupted by someone calling for him. He sighed and went to see what they needed.

You looked back over to him. “I was starting to think you weren't going to come.” He said, trying to keep his voice level despite his excitement.

You chuckled. “I had to find a new place. I got kicked out of my old one.” You said. He nodded slightly, but you could see that there was a part of him that wasn't satisfied with your response. You smirked slightly. “Aww, did someone miss me?” You teased.

He rolled his eyes. “Oh, go to hell.” He said. He was thankful the room was dark so you couldn't see him blushing.

You laughed lightly. “If it helps, I missed you too.” You knew he missed you. He just had a different way of showing it.

----

Player 388, Dae-ho:

Ironically, you and Dae-ho had actually met multiple times before the games. You worked as a barista in the coffee shop he frequented.

You had never spoken very much outside of the typical pleasantries expected in the situation. The conversation had never gone much past small talk about the weather if his drink was taking longer than usual.

You both were caught up in your own struggles. You both had debts hanging over you, keeping your minds too busy to socialize. You helped your parents manage the shop, and the business was struggling to stay afloat. He had his own problems in his life, some demons he couldn't put to rest.

You both ended up in the games due to your debts. Neither of you recognized the other, but you both thought the other looked vaguely familiar. There were more important things to focus on at that time. Your fight or flight response took precedence over trying to figure out if you had seen each other before.

The two of you were very close, near inseparable, during the games. You both found comfort in the other's presence. You would talk about anything and everything under the pretense that these conversations may be some of the last. From embarrassing stories to your deepest fears, you both poured your hearts out to each other.

Before the last vote, he asked you a question. “Do you think we'll see each other again? Out there, I mean.”

You looked up at him. “I hope so.” You said softly.

His smile grew. “You'll miss me too much.” He said teasingly. It felt easier to joke with you than admit that he didn't know what he would do without you.

You feigned offense. “Oh, so you're saying you won't miss me then?” You asked.

He started to apologize but your smile betrayed you and he realized you were messing with him. He laughed, but he made sure to add, “I will miss you though. A lot.”

From talking further, you found that you lived in the same area, so maybe you would see each other after all. You hadn't thought about the fact you may have already met before.

About a week after you had been released, you were back at work at the shop. You were still working there even though you had enough money to live comfortably. You put most of it into the business and into your parents’ retirement fund.

You were making a drink as your co-worker was taking orders. It was quiet, so you were able to overhear their interaction with the customer.

“What's the name for the order?” They asked politely. “Kang Dae-ho.”

You were so shocked you almost dropped the cup in your hand. You set it down a bit too quickly, causing it to clatter against the counter and getting both of their attention. “Dae-ho?” You asked.

You met his eyes, and his lips curled into a smile. “Hey. It's so nice to see you.” He said softly. He seemed considerably less tense than how you were used to seeing him in the games. Happiness was a good look on him.

Your coworker looked back at you. “Oh, how do you two know each other?” They asked. Your eyes widened, looking over to Dae-ho realizing there was no good way to explain it.

“It's uhh... It's a long story.” He trailed. You agreed quickly. They seemed confused but eventually continued taking his order.

The shop was busy, so you didn't have time to talk in depth, to Dae-ho's dismay.

He left the building a little bummed out, but it was short-lived. He noticed on the side of his cup there was something else written aside from his name.

You wrote your phone number on the side of the cup, along with a note saying “Call me. I miss you.” You added a small smiley face with it.

He laughed. He couldn't wipe the smile off his face. He had been afraid he would never see you again, so meeting you like that was a relief.

He only wished he'd been paying attention to his surroundings more. He had gone to the coffee shop for years, and once he saw you behind the counter this time, he realized why you had seemed somewhat familiar to him.

You had been hiding from him in plain sight. You meant the world to him now, and maybe if he had taken the initiative to talk with you before, who knows how your lives would have been different. You could have been great friends right now, maybe more than friends.

He sent you a quick text, telling you that this was his number and when he would be free to chat. He soon sent another message telling you that his drink you made him was amazing.

Once again, he smiled like an idiot as he stared at his phone, realizing you weren't going to be the one that got away. He wasted no time putting your number in his contacts.

Just ignore the heart next to your name.

----

Player 1/The Front Man, In-ho:

You had tried your best not to give up on your hopes of survival after the failed coup of the games. Your closest ally, your friend, died and you hadn't even been able to say goodbye. He was doing something so heroic just to be killed and disposed of unceremoniously.

You didn't give yourself time to grieve. Grief would only distract you. It didn't hit you until the night before what would be the last vote. You weren't sure what the outcome of the vote would be, but you were just so overwhelmed and sad and angry. So fucking angry.

Angry at the people who run the games, angry at the other players who have been keeping you here, angry at Gi-hun for even suggesting the attempted uprising, and angry at Young-il for going to play the hero and getting himself killed.

You finally broke down in the dead of night after a few hours of failing to fall asleep. Hyun-ju tried her best to comfort you to no avail.

In-ho watched from the control room. He felt his heart wrench hearing you sob. While the mask made him seem cold and collected, this affected him more than he wanted to admit. He hated that he had to do this to you. He had to leave you and it wasn't fair to you.

It wasn't fair to himself either. He finally made a strong, genuine connection with someone and his job had to ruin it. Neither of you deserved the cards you were dealt in this situation, but it didn't have to stay this way.

While you were getting back into your normal life, In-ho was thinking of a way to reintroduce himself to you. He had a few people doing surveillance on you. Nothing major, just trying to see what your routine was. The places you frequented, your schedule, things of the like.

He waited a bit less than a year to make a move. He needed to make sure your memory of him had faded slightly. This would never work if you recognized him as Young-il. Waiting was excruciating. He just wanted to talk to you. To hear your voice. To see you smile.

You hadn't been the same since the games. You felt like you were in a haze. You were only alive because of the deaths of hundreds of people. You lived, and Young-il didn't. There was a voice in the back of your mind that told you it should have been you instead. You hardly slept anymore. Nightmares plagued you any time you closed your eyes.

After a few months, you finally decided to seek out a therapist. It was hard to describe the situation to him, seeing as you couldn't explain much about the death game aspect. You simply told him that someone close to you died in a violent manner, and you had survivor's guilt.

He advised trying to reintegrate yourself into the world. Social interaction could help to pull yourself out of the depressive episode. Which is how you ended up becoming a regular customer at a cafe near your apartment. You didn't talk to anyone very often, but existing in the presence of others and having basic interactions with the staff was helpful to you.

You noticed someone who you had never seen before come in while the cafe was somewhat busy. He bore a striking resemblance to Young-il, but you brushed it off as his image haunting your mind.

He was dressed up like he was straight out of a business meeting, dark hair slicked back. You tried not to stare, and while he didn't make it obvious, he did notice. You eventually tore your eyes away from him, focusing on the book you were reading.

You hadn't noticed him coming toward you until he spoke. “Is this seat taken?” He asked, hand resting on the chair across from yours. You looked up at him, and he could have sworn he felt his heart skip a beat.

You were a bit confused. The cafe was busy, but there were certainly other places available. You shook your head while returning to your book.

He took a sip of his drink before speaking again. “How do you like it?” He asked. You looked up at him, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. He chuckled, realizing his vague question. “The book, I mean.”

“Oh, it's really good. One of my favorites, actually.” You said. He already knew the answer to his question. One of the nights when you were bordering on a panic attack, he asked you questions about it to distract you. You rambled for a while, and he was entranced by your passion. After the games ended, the first thing he did was find a copy of it.

“What's it about?” He asked. You started talking in a rather closed-off manner, as if you were trying to distance yourself from him. You found it hard to get close to anyone since Young-il. But the more you spoke, the more he saw the old you peeking through.

You both spoke for over an hour, first about the book and then about other things. You both talked about where you were from, what you did for work, and the like. although you were both withholding some of the truth

You didn't even notice time passing by until you saw one of the workers starting to sweep the floor. You had talked until the cafe was about to close. You laughed awkwardly at that fact. “We should probably go. I don't want to hold them up.”

You said your goodbyes and parted ways. It wasn't until you got home that you noticed the slip of paper in your bag. It was a phone number with a small note: We should do this again sometime. - In-ho

Your eyes widened slightly in surprise, but then you just smiled. Your cheeks hurt at the motion, and you realized how much you had been smiling that evening. Your fear of getting close to people was forgotten at that moment.

You typed out a single message: Hey, it's Y/N. Same time next week?

----

Player 246, Gyeong-seok:

You were trying to get back into the swing of things after being put through the horrible games. You had tried to close yourself off from the other players. After seeing the brutality of Red Light Green Light, you didn't want to get attached to anyone. You just wanted to get out of there.

But Gyeong-seok managed to break down the walls you had made. Your number was right after his, so you stood next to each other on the X side of the room. You noticed him glancing over at him but you didn't react.

He struck up a conversation with you afterward while eating dinner. You tried to ignore him, but he was stubborn. You eventually relented, and you both talked for a bit. It was all fine until he told you about his daughter at home, Na-yeon, and how she was sick.

You sympathized with him, and it scared you. You had no intentions of betraying him. Quite the opposite, actually. You were afraid of being attached because it would make the inevitable hurt even worse. A death game was no place to make friends. But that's exactly what you did. Maybe even more than friends.

When he decided to help Gi-hun and the others during the raid, you felt an intense feeling of dread, and the blood in your veins ran cold. You were already grieving him, silently lamenting for the daughter whose father would never return. That was until he came stumbling into the room with a gunshot wound.

You tried to treat the wound the best you could, but the lack of supplies and the incessant trembling of your hands hindered you. Luckily, your makeshift bandage wouldn't see too much use, as the Xs had a majority in the next vote.

Before anything else happened, he pulled you aside. “Hey, thanks for everything. I couldn't have asked for a better friend here.” He said.

You tried to ignore the fluttery feeling in your stomach after his praise. “Thank you, too. I think you kept me sane.” You said softly with a slight chuckle.

He smiled before pulling you into a hug. You tensed up slightly, the movement catching you off guard at first. You hesitantly reciprocated his embrace. “I hope we get to see each other again.” He said.

“In better circumstances, I hope.” You quipped, earning a chuckle from him.

And you would see him again. It was about a month or so later, but fate moved you toward each other. It started with a light tug on your jacket while you were shopping in a department store. You looked down to see a little girl, barely tall enough to reach your waist.

Before you could speak, the girl did. “I can't find my dad. Can you help me?” She definitely was a bit shaken up and nervous to talk to you.

Your eyes softened when they met hers. You crouched down to talk to her on her level. “Of course I can. My name is Y/N. What's yours?” You asked her.

You smiled. “That's a pretty name.” You said, causing her to become bashful. “Hey, I have an idea. I can carry you on my shoulders so you can see over the clothing racks. Is that okay with you?” You offered. It would let her be able to see more of the store. She nodded.

That seemed to calm her nerves a bit. “Na-yeon.” She said softly. Her name didn't immediately trigger your memory since it was a fairly popular name.

She giggled when you picked her up. You grabbed her hands to help keep her stable. You intended to find your way to the cashier so they could make an announcement over the speakers.

You didn't make it that far before she called out to someone. “Na-yeon, what did I say about running-” His words caught in his throat when you turned toward him. It was Gyeong-seok

You smiled as you put the girl back on the ground. She moved to wrap her arms around his legs, and he put his hand on her shoulder. “Fancy seeing you here.” He said with a grin.

She looked back at you. “How do you know my dad?” She asked you.

You locked eyes with him, hesitating on how to explain it. “They're a friend from work.” He offered. You agreed. It was better to lie than try to explain anything further. “What do you say, Na-yeon?” He asked, prompting her to use her manners. The girl let go of her father, saying a word of thanks with a bow.

You smiled. “It was no trouble. She was very brave.” You said, causing her to beam with pride.

While he was talking to his daughter, you pulled out your phone. You started to make a new contact. When he was done talking, you passed your phone to him. He smiled when he realized what you were doing. He put his number in.

“It was nice meeting you, Na-yeon. Don't be strangers, okay?” You said. You said goodbye and made your way to the checkout. As much as you would have loved to stay and chat, you had a pressing matter to attend to.

The girl heard the ring tone. “Is that Y/N?” She asked.

As the two were getting into their car, he received a text message. It was nice seeing you both. Glad to see that Na-yeon is doing well.

He chuckled as he was buckling her seat belt. “Yes, it is.” He confirmed.

“They were nice. When can we see them again?” She asked, very eagerly.

He smiled. “Soon, kiddo.” He said. Before he started driving, he answered you. I'm glad to see you too. Na-yeon is already asking to see you again. Do you want to grab lunch with us sometime?

You smiled at your phone, answering almost immediately. How could I say no?

[i-dared-myself]

Name on My Skin

Jisung x reader

In which you meet the perfect soulmate for you.

In a world of soulmates, it is chaos. Oftentimes, meeting your soulmate is love at first sight. Other times, they meet their best friend. Occasionally people die before meeting theirs.

Or there are the times that people’s soulmates weren’t nice people. You would meet someone who you had positive ideas about for your entire life, only for them to be an asshole.

Your greatest fear is for your soulmate to be a jerk. For them to be some kind of psychopath or someone who should be in prison.

That is why you always avoid any chances of meeting your soulmate. You don’t go on blind dates. You refrain from physical touch, not wanting a mark to linger on your skin.

Your mother is not pleased. 

“Who’s going to take care of you?” she yells, hands on her hips. 

“I have friends,” you tiredly remind her. “And why are you here?”

She huffs and turns around, looking at all the shirts. “I don’t know why you even bother buying it. It’s not like the love of your life is going to appreciate it.”

“I have a job interview.” You rub at your forehead, fighting off a headache. “This is very important to me, okay?”

Your mother breathes out through her nose, barely hiding her disdain. “I don’t know how you expect to make any money there. Makeup? For men?”

“Men can wear makeup.” You peruse the options carefully. You don’t want anything too flashy, but you do want to stand out from all the other candidates. “And it’s their job, too.”

“What are they, models?” Your mother shakes her head and scoffs. “I don’t think this is a good fit for you, dear.”

“It’s just an interview.” You select a shirt off the rack and hold it up. You smile as you bring it out to checkout with your mother trailing after you. “It’s no guarantee of a job.”

Your mother sighs. “You’re right. You probably won’t even get it.”

But you do.

You get the job.

Now you’re a makeup artist for Stray Kids, finally making use of your degree. You had always been told it was a mistake to go into the field, but here you are.

When you walk in on your first day, you’re given the run down. Where the styling room is, who your coworkers are, and everything important.

You’re slightly ashamed to admit to your coworkers that you’d never listened to Stray Kids.

You had heard of them, just never gotten into it. You had never listened to them, nor watched anything with them.

You weren’t against them; it just had never peaked your interest enough to risk your mother’s wrath. She deeply disapproved of most things; boy bands being one of them.

So when they walk in, you might possibly be confused.

A man sits at your station, settling onto the raised stool. He smiles at you, eyes crinkling at the corners. “You’re new.”

“Uh, yes.” You bob your head, reaching past him for your tools.

“So who’s your bias?” he asks, making you pause. 

You hesitate because you don’t know any of their names. “Uh, you?”

He grins, poking the one next to him. “Do you hear that, Hyunjin? I’m the favourite!”

Hyunjin scowls and closes his eyes as his makeup artist moves to his eyes. “And?”

You try to swipe the brush over this man’s face, but he’s bouncing around wildly. You’re attempting to wrangle him back into his seat when a man walking by frowns.

“Stop it!” he scolds. “Can’t you see they’re trying to work?”

You smile softly. “It’s okay. We have time.”

“Sorry,” the man mutters. He slumps back and looks up at you, smiling sweetly. “I’ll be good, I promise.”

“Jeongin gave him too much coffee. I swear, I have to limit their caffeine intake.” The man shakes his head with a heavy sigh. “Anyways, you are…?”

You tell him your name before hesitating. “Right. Um, it’s nice to meet you…”

“Bang Chan.” Dimples form at the corners of his mouth. 

“Wait.” The man sitting in your chair frowns. He straightens and looks at you in horror. “Do you not know who I am, either?”

Hyunjin laughs, shoulders shaking. “This took a turn.”

“Sorry, no.” You wring your hands nervously. “I promise I’m not trying to disrespect you and- and-“

“I’m Jisung,” he declares. He crosses his arms over his chest and lifts his chin. “You lied to me.”

Your face burns with embarrassment. “Sorry. I just- You-“

“So I was your favourite without you even knowing who I was!” Jisung exclaims. He begins to slap Hyunjin’s arm excitedly. “Did you hear that! Did you hear that?”

Hyunjin wordlessly slides out of his seat and pads towards the door.

Jisung winces at you. “He’s not a morning person.”

“Jisung!” Bang Chan calls from the other side of the room. “Hurry up!”

Jisung grimaces. “Right. Sorry, let’s do this.”

You finish the rest of his face, smiling gently at him as he bounces away. He tries to take you with him, but you dodge his hand. 

“I’ll be here if you need a touch-up,” you tell him, feeling bad when he pouts. 

“I’ll try my best to not smudge it!” Jisung vows solemnly, as if the weight of the world is on his shoulders. “I don’t want you working so hard on your first day.”

“Aw, that’s sweet.” You laugh lightly. It’s nice that he cares so much. “But that’s why I’m here. Don’t worry about it.”

Jisung just giggles as he runs off, going the way Bang Chan had gone. You shake your head, hiding a smile as you clean up your station. You have no idea how it got so messy already.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You hoist your bag over your shoulder, checking your phone. You don’t have any notifications so you open the weather app so it looks like you’re still busy. You love your new job, but you’re tired after training and training and smalltalk galore.

Your nose is so buried in your screen that you don’t even notice the man sprinting in your path, head turned in the other direction. He knocks into you and your phone clatters tk the ground. You collapse as well, and his hands grip your forearms to help you up.

“Jisung?” You frown as he bends down to pick your phone up. “Are you okay?”

“I should be asking you that.” He scratches the back of his neck, eyes flicking up from where they had been focused on the ground. They widen a fraction and his lips part in surprise.

“Jisung?” You wave a palm in front of his face. “You good?”

“You- I-“ He gasps and points frantically to your arm, where there’s a tattoo of his name.

You blink at it. “That’s new.”

“Oh my gosh.” Jisung stumbles away from you. “You’re a crazy stalker!”

You shake your head desperately. “No! I have no idea how that got there!”

He wets his lips with his tongue. “Then that means…”

You both stare at each other for a minute. Neither of you seems to want to say it, but the words seem to hang in the air.

You found your soulmate, and he’s Jisung. Jisung is your soulmate. What you had been avoiding for years finally arrived.

“Um.” Jisung’s throat flexed as he swallows. “This is a thing.”

“Yes,” you agree. “This is a thing.”

Jisung watches as his name fades from your skin, never to be seen again. Now that you know who the other is, the only thing left to do is discuss where this leads.

“Are you gay?” Jisung blurts out. He winces. “I mean- I’m totally okay if you are. I support! I love, um, lesbians? Okay that came out wrong. I just mean that like-“

“I like men,” you assure him, heart melting. This… Jisung is the type that you wouldn’t be scared of. “And I would be willing to explore a relationship.”

His shoulder slump as he blows out a heavy breath of relief. “Okay, I’d like that. Can I buy you dinner?”

“Sure.” You nod and tuck your phone in your bag. “How was your day?”

Jisung seems taken aback by your question, but walks by your side as the two of you go out the door. “It was really good. I bet you can guess why.”

You smile, feeling all gooey inside. “I bet I can. Uh, I know it’s not great if we’re seen in public together, so is there anywhere specific you want to eat? Somewhere you go often?”

Jisung considers it for a moment before brightening. “Oh! There’s a really small shop near here. Good food, and no one is ever there.”

“Lead the way,” you say. You’re so glad your soulmate is someone like him. 

Taglist:

@velvetmoonlght @jinnie-ret @hansmic @imeverycliche @strawberryscentedd @iwuberic @lezleeferguson-120

[elliewrites77]

Uncle!Sukuna Part 6

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

masterlist

Uncle!Sukuna who puts his plan for a second date on temporary hold. The day after the incident with Yuji, you sat him and Sukuna down for that "talk" about why they shouldn't resort to violence, and what other methods they could use to get their emotions out. He hated every second of it. But he did enjoy watching you in your professional element. You were stern and serious, but still had a gentleness about you that showed you actually cared.

Uncle!Sukuna who was falling, real hard, real fast.

But he pushed that aside, instead offering to take Choso out for the day that weekend. He could tell the boy needed some cheering up, and your worry was only getting worse, so he offered to take Choso to some "kid-appropriate guy stuff", and asked you to help Yuji with the finishing touches on his project. Both boys were up for it, and when Saturday hit, you and Yuji waved Choso and him goodbye.

Uncle!Sukuna who couldn't deny that the car ride was a little awkward. He still wasn't very good with kids, and honestly, he was starting to wonder what he was thinking when he offered to do this. He liked the kid, sure, but he knew very little about him. One thing he did know was that Choso and himself were very bad with people, and general socialization wasn't really their thing. So from the house to the mall, the car was silent.

It wasn't until he parked, turning the car off, that Choso spoke.

"I know you like my mom."

Sukuna is silent, stunned by the sudden call-out. He stares out the windshield blankly before his eyes move to the rearview mirror, meeting Choso's. Th boy looks calm and sure.

"You don't have be friendly with me just to get on her good side. She already likes you too." Choso added after a short period of silence.

His words make Sukuna's brow furrow. He ignores the part about you liking him back, turning his head to glare straight at the boy.

"Listen, brat. You're here with me because I wanted you to be, not so I could get brownie points with your mom. Now say something like that again, and I'll throw you in the mall fountain." He quickly got out of the front, leaving Choso to blush at his words. He has a small smile on his face when he climbs out.

Nothing more was said as they walked into the mall. Sukuna took him to the comic store first, that being the whole reason they were there. He watched as the kids eyes lit up, looking around at all the images of his favorite superhero's . It made Sukuna smirk.

"Get what you want. If you see something you think Yuji would like too, let me know." He said before they split up. Choso went to look for his favorites, making sure to keep an eye out for Yuji's too.

Sukuna kept his eye on the kid as he browsed, not caring much about looking at the selection. But his eyes caught on one of the covers, making him pause as a memory surfaces from the pits of his brain.

A young Sukuna is approached by his twin, the younger of the two having his usual grin on his face, while his older brother had nothing but a scowl. Sukuna barely acknowledged his brother until he is standing in front of him, looking far to excited for no reason at all.

"What?"

"It's our birthday tomorrow!" Jin replied. Sukuna rolled his eyes.

"I know that, idiot. Like you said, it's our birthday."

"Well I wanted to give you your present early."

Sukuna looked at his younger twin, confused. They never got each other gifts.

He doesn't get a chance to ask before Jin pulls out a flat, wrapped gift from behind his back. He holds it out to Sukuna, his grin never wavering. Sukuna slowly takes it, holding it in his hand for a second with a skeptical look on his young face.

"Open it." Jin encouraged.

Sukuna listened, tearing off the wrapping paper slowly to reveal a comic book still preserved in the plastic. Sukuna examines the cover, recognizing it as one he's seen Jin read before, one that Sukuna had actually been interested in reading (though he never said that).

"I know you've wanted to read it, so i thought I'd get you a copy. That way, it's something we can enjoy together." Jin admits, practically bouncing up and down with his excitement for Sukuna's reaction.

The older twin is surprised by the thoughtfulness of the gift, and his twins desire to have something they can share. It makes his chest feel full, but he clears his throat in an attempt to appear unaffected. Even at 10, he preferred appearing reserved.

"Uh..thanks, loser." He says after a second, ignoring his brothers grin. Jin can see right through him. "I didn't get you anything." He adds.

"That's okay. Just make sure to tell me what you think once you've read it."

Jin leaves, and Sukuna is left looking down at the colorful cover.

That comic was one of the few things Sukuna ever shared with his brother. It was one of the few things they could talk about and enjoy, finally having a common ground. Sukuna would never had said it before, but he could admit, at least to himself, now that this one comic brought him and Jin a little bit closer.

Which is why he picks it up, not bothering to look at anything else when he moves toward Choso. The kid had already picked out a few comics, some for him, some for Yuji (though he couldn't read that well yet). The two checked out, before making their way through the rest of the mall.

They walked through a few stores, Sukuna buying whatever Choso wanted without complaint. The kid was grateful each time, not expecting Sukuna to do so. But eventually, Sukuna was tired of hearing "are you sure? thank you" over and over.

"Say thank you again and I'll take it all back." He threatened. Choso laughed, nodding in agreement. Sukuna wasn't as intimidating when you got to know him.

They finished their afternoon with some food in the food court, before leaving with plenty of bags and two full bellies.

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

The care ride back was far less awkward, but the two still didn't talk much. They simply enjoyed the low music playing through the radio, and the easy ride home.

When they were close to the neighborhood, Choso spoke up.

"If you and my mom get married, would that make Yuji my brother?"

Sukuna blinked in surprise, glancing at the boy in the mirror. Choso had a curious look on his face, genuinely wondering.

"Yuji isn't my son." Sukuna answered after a moment, ignoring the feeling he gets at the idea of marrying you.

"So he'd be my..cousin?" Choso asked. That wasn't as cool as 'brother' but it wouldn't be too bad.

"I...I guess. Technically, yeah." Sukuna answered, trying to brush it off with a shrug. He didn't know why they were talking about this. "But your mom and I aren't even dating, so don't worry about shit like that."

"But you both want to date. Don't you?"

"Don't you have other things to worry about, brat? Since when are you so damn nosey?"

"Mom says it's good to be curious and ask questions."

"Yeah well, not about this. Just worry about your comics and your ma and I will worry about..all the other stuff."

Choso huffed, not happy with his question going unanswered, but figured it didn't make sense to push it. Not right now, at least.

"Well, I like you. And Yuji. So I hope, even if you don't date my mom, you both stick around." Choso admits. Sukuna looks back at him again.

"Yeah?" He sees Choso nod. "Well I...we like you too kid." He says, his voice a lot quieter and soft. His eyes return to the road, right as they turn down the street to your house.

Neither of them say anything more, but both feel a little bit lighter at the confession.

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

Uncle!Sukuna who walked into your house a few minutes later, to the sound of upbeat music playing and two voices, very off tune, singing along. He shares a look with Choso, before they walk further in. They stop at the kitchen, seeing you and Yuji dancing around together while seemingly baking. There's a sheet of cookies already laid on the counter to cool, telling Sukuna you both have probably been at this for a bit. He smirks as the smell finally catches up with Choso, who rushes forwards towards the two of you. The sound of his steps catches your attention.

Once again, Sukuna is sure his heart stops when you give your son a large grin, hugging him tightly. It gets worse when you look up, giving Sukuna the exact same beautiful smile.

You turn down the music as he walks into the room fully, Yuji immediately running towards his uncle to be picked up. His bright grin is in place as he starts to ramble about the things the two of you did. He's talking so fast that Sukuna can't understand but a few words, but he doesn't bother interrupting the boy. He simply holds him with one arm, staring at him with a raised, unamused brow. He sees you and Choso talking out of the corner of his eye.

Once Yuji has calmed down a little, you turn to look at them with another smile, handing Choso a cookie while you do.

"Did you get me anything, Uncle Kuna?" Yuji asks, staring at the man expectedly. Sukuna scoffs, wanting to call the boy spoiled for thinking he got him something. But he couldn't, because Sukuna did in fact get his gremlin of a nephew stuff.

"Yeah, but don't expect me to every time. I'm not gonna let you get spoiled." He glares slightly. Yuji ignores that completely, clapping happily at his uncle's words. He wiggled, wanting to be put down to go play. "tch. can't ever stay still." Sukuna mumbled as he set Yuji down. The kid immediately took off, grabbing Choso's hand on his way and dragging the surprised boy to another room of the house.

"Don't know where he's going. The shit's still in the car." Sukuna says with a smirk. His words make you laugh, bringing his attention back to you. "How was he?"

"He was lovely. We finished the project, I think it will score good, and then he wanted to bake some. Said his mom used to make cookies all the time, so I thought it would be a nice treat and help cheer him up." You answered. Sukuna was a little surprised at the mention of his late sister-in-law. Yuji didn't really talk about his parents much. But he didn't think much of it.

"They smell good. Surprised you let him have any before dinner." Sukuna smirked, knowing how strict you usually are about desserts before supper. He moved closer, leaning on the counter as you took the last back of cookies out of the oven.

You huffed playfully, setting the cookies down to cool.

"Well I'm not a monster. Finishing the project was a little emotional for him, so I wasn't gonna be strict with him about something as little as this." You replied. Sukuna frowned slightly at that, but he could understand why. "Also, I don't think I've ever heard of a pair of twins who are so totally opposites, I honestly wouldn't have known you were both related in any other situation." You teased.

"Wait, how'd you know Jin was my twin?" Sukuna asked, thrown back by your knowing something that he definitely never told you. Sure, you saw pictures, but him and Jin looked nothing alike, so surely the twin thing wouldn't be easy to assess. It was your turn to be confused, and you gave him a look as though the answer was obvious.

"Yuji, of course. He mentioned it a while ago. Did you not think that would ever come up?"

"Yuji talks about his parents that often?"

"Of course he does. He talks about them all the time. His dad apparently told him a lot about you, so he talks about that too."

Sukuna was shocked. Yuji hardly ever talked about his parents to him. He thought the kid was just a silent griever, like him, but apparently that wasn't the case. Sukuna frowned as he tried to understand why Yuji wouldn't want to talk about them with his own uncle.

You see this, understanding immediately where his confusion was coming from.

"Does he...not talk about them with you?" You ask softly.

"..No. not really. I figured he just..didn't like talking about them. Figured it might be hard for him." Sukuna answers. His frown turns to a slight scowl at the feeling that he might be doing something wrong. If Yuji wasn't coming to him to talk, didn't that mean he wasn't doing what he needed to in order to show the kid he could be there for him?

His thoughts are interrupted by your hand on his arm, and his eyes snap to meet yours.

"I don't think Yuji is the one who has trouble with it." You said gently. He got what you meant. "If you want to know why he doesn't, I think you should ask him." You added, just as the boys ran back into the room.

Sukuna watched as they excitedly showed you something they drew, contemplating your words. He knew you were right, you always were. He just didn't know how the hell to go about it. Talking wasn't his forte, none of this was, but especially not that.

But he remembered he told himself he would be better, and wanted Yuji to be open with him, even if he struggled with that himself. So he knew he'd have to figure out a way to talk to the brat, sooner rather than later.

He decided to save that for later tonight, though, when you turned to him with another pretty smile, as Yuji runs towards him to shove his drawing into the mans face.

Uncle!Sukuna who gets offended when you offer to pay him back for everything he got Choso, simply walking away without dignifying you with a response. He basically pouted as he helped you make dinner, making it seem like you has actually insulted him. It made you laugh.

Uncle!Sukuna who isn't surprised when he finds Yuji and Choso passed out on the couch once more. In the short time after dinner, while Sukuna help you clean up, they had gone to watch some TV. He will never understand how they can go from so energetic to snoring and halfway falling off of the couch.

Uncle!Sukuna who smirks when Yuji actually does fall off of the couch. He still didn't wake up, making Sukuna shake his head in disbelief. He was pretty sure the kid could sleep through anything.

Uncle!Sukuna who approached your bed room, knocking on the door softly. He couldn't help but admire you when you opened the door, obviously getting ready to go to bed soon. You smiled again, opening the door to allow him inside.

"They're asleep aren't they?" You assumed with a chuckle. He smirked, nodding as he examined your room.

"Knocked out." He confirmed.

"Yuji can stay here tonight, if you don't want to carry him back to yours." You offered, looking at him through your mirror. His brow raised, smirk growing.

"What about me? Can't I stay too?" He teased, giving you a flirty smile. You flushed, breaking eye contact and shaking you head fondly.

"You can if you'd like." You replied after a moment, looking back at him. You see his smile drop in surprise, making you smirk. "Plenty of room on the couch for you." You added, teasing him.

His shoulders dropped, a scoff leaving him as he shook his head. His reaction made you chuckle. He moves closer and you turn to face him fully.

Sukuna remembers he had a plan, to ask you out on another date. And while this wasn't how he intended to do it, it feels like the perfect time.

"Tease," He grumbled. His hands settled on your waste, holding you just like he did when he kissed you. "What are you doing next weekend?" He asked.

You flushed, hands going to his chest because you weren't sure when else to put them. This was the closest you two has been since your date.

"Um, nothing specifically. Choso won't be here, so I was just gonna get some stuff done around the house. Why?" You replied. You could guess why he asked, but you wanted to be sure before getting your hopes up.

"How about we get to that second date?" He asked, doing his best to appear confident in his questioning. He hoped you were on the same page.

Your instant smile reassured him that you did.

"Oh yeah? I don't know, the house could really use a deep clean." You teased. He scoffed, glaring at you with no heat behind it.

"Don't be a brat." He replied, making your smile grow. His jaw clenched as he hesitated. "You..do wanna go on another one, right?" He forced himself to ask. He wanted to be clear with you, straightforward to the best of his ability.

Your smile softened.

"Yes, Sukuna. I'd love to go on another date with you." You said. The look of relief on his face made you want to tease him more, but you decided to give him a break.

He smirked softly, pulling you closer. He didn't say anything more, and neither did you. You ended the night with a soft, sweet kiss, before he left your bedroom. He took Choso and Yuji to bed in Choso's room, before actually laying on your couch. Both of you fell asleep with little smiles, feeling more secure in whatever it was between the two of you than before.

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

let me know what you think! also, would ppl like to see a snippet that's about reader and Yuji's afternoon together while sukuna and choso aren't there? I realize sometimes i focus too much on one dynamic and might leave another out a bit. I assure you guys there will be plenty more about sukuna and reader in the next part! I just think it's important to build their relationships with Yuji and Choso.

I'm thankful for any constructive criticism! Thank you for reading, and all the support <3333

barely proofread

[calluna-dekarios-dellamorte]

Calluna de Riva:

🧝🏼‍♀️ Elf

🐦‍⬛ Crow

✨ Mage

🗡️ Spellsword

1. Echeveria or Peony: low maintainence and ease versus favorite flower.

2. Absolutely not. Will eat it with a smile because she loves Harding though.

3. A crow, obviously!

4. She's a city girl, but I think it helps her feel a little more connected to her paternal heritage (mother was a Crow and father was Dalish), but she's glad to return to a bed and modern comforts after they're done.

5. Other than assassination? Probably information on knives and metallurgy (re: a murder weapon) and poisons (because Viago).

6. Nope, Calluna is allergic to seafood (living in Treviso is difficult) and lactose intolerant (she chooses to suffer).

7. She listens with interest even though most of it goes over her head. She gets excited when she hears something she understands, though!

8. Absolutely. The steamier, the better. Occasionally one will comment on a romance scene and be like, "That's not how it works!" and then they'll both be awkward for a bit because they've learned something new about the other.

9. Everything (she even ate the seafood the first couple of times because she could see how proud he was of what he made, and how happy it made him to feed everyone, and just threw up later, which of course Lucanis got mad at her for doing). She can taste the love in his cooking, and understands that it's one of the few ways he's comfortable expressing his affection.

10. A knife, obviously! She's a Crow, she's a spellsword, she loves Lucanis! He cannot go wrong with a knife!

11. Gamordan Stormrider (Rook uses lightning magic primarily).

12. Rook loves to hang out, but not only does she prefer coffee, she is also an incredible lightweight, so Taash has to make sure to keep an eye on her when they go or Rook can get into shenanigans.

13. Rook LOVES Emmerich's mother's hazelnut torte. Especially paired with her favorite coffee.

14. Lemon lavender to help her relax, mint ginger for her tummy, or apple cinnamon to cheer her up.

15. Lucanis makes her a treat (coffee, dessert, snack) and brings it to her to enjoy privately while talking quietly and running his fingers through her hair. Spite tells her she smells good then asks if she tastes as good as she smells, which embarrasses Lucanis, and makes Rook laugh. Emmrich offers to lend an ear and let her put hats on Manfred. Taash takes her to to hit stuff and/or commit arson. Davrin lets her take a nap on the rug with Assan even though she snores. Bellara and Neve get Rook involved in talking about serials and gossiping about their love lives. Harding asks Rook to help with the garden and lets Rook be quiet and follow instructions so she can not have to think. Teia teases Rook about Lucanis in a friendly way. Viago gives Rook something to help her stomach when she eats seafood or something contaminated by seafood (if he can poison people, he can certainly help with a tummy ache). She is loved by many and they all want to help, even if sometimes it's hard to remember she's not alone.

Small Rook & Companion Questions:

What type of plant would Harding gift your Rook?

Do they like Harding's cooking?

What animal/monster would Davrin carve for your Rook?

Does your Rook like the walks in Arlathan with Davrin?

What is something Neve could call on your Rook for if she needs certain expertise for a case?

Does your Rook share Neve's love of fried fish?

Does your Rook join Bellara in her technical talks about the Fade and various artifacts or are they more content to listen?

Do your Rook and Bellara read serials together?

What is your Rook's favorite dish that Lucanis cooks?

What would Lucanis buy for your Rook at the Grande Market?

What dragon would Taash think your Rook would like the best?

Do they bring your Rook 'round the Hall of Valor to drink often?

Would your Rook like Emmrich's mother's hazelnut torte?

What kind of tea would Emmrich make for your Rook?

Bonus: What is one thing a companion does to cheer up your Rook if they're feeling down?

[thatfrailsoul]

– And I don't want your pity, I just want somebody near me

Divinatory jukebox : "Nobody", by Mitski

tarot pick a pile reading → one, two, three

It really does feel like gambling. The people, the connections, the bonds between us. The search for the right moments, right ways, right rhythms… that takes all the attention, all the feelings, leaving the bits of relationships that we manage to create to be just a mirage. A fever dream we go through with so many complications, anxiety, doubts and fears. Rushing us to the ending, to those cold goodbyes full of tears. And the only thing remaining is to wonder. Did we really experience it? Was it really possible for something like this to happen to begin with? And will this fate chase us down again, forcing us to relive it?

Connections are never easy to begin with. There are too many details and requirements, too much of that complex and at times frustrating humanity in them. Too many to make it work as easily… But we don't help ourselves either. Our mind, our judgement, our anger and frustration that are so easily thrown right back at us, at our own actions and decisions. The answers and explanations that we don't want to hear. The feelings that we don't want to feel because of the fear that it will make it all too real…

This reading is that one message that you are not reading, pretending that you never received it. That truth, that motive or the explanation, that you don't want to make yours. Something that you need to accept, to keep in mind, to learn or do… Something that this world is trying to tell you, with your whole castle of walls around you, hoping that you will allow it to come through. Hoping that you will take a moment to stay in silence and breathe. Listening to your inner voice, that will guide you to that one pile that hides your message in it.

{ Follow me for more readings, reblog or let me know in the comments which pile you chose - I'm really curious.♡ }

P.s. A little question for you ♡

– Pile One,

the clouds: the queen of cups and the knight of wands

picture from → pinterest

Your way of feeling, of loving… of showing it, never was the problem. It never depended on how much you changed for someone, or how much you embraced your own true self. It never was important that you did it for them, how you did it, even if they claimed that it was everything. It never really made any difference, not when all that you did and tried was something that they expected from someone else... Yes, every single one of them.

Every person, every relationship, every connection that faded right before your eyes... They said they wanted it all from you, not realising that they needed it from themselves. Because we do project, we do confuse the things, we do misunderstand the reason behind what we feel. And we almost never admit it, never think that it is only something ours. We cry at what we don't receive from others, what we don't find, what we don't feel. But in reality is at us that we are screaming, not understanding how is it possible that someone that is supposed to genuinely and unconditionally love us, can’t simply make us feel safe and enough within, to the point that we need to seek it in others, begging for it…

But, ironically enough, this story is not about you. You were only the witness of it, again and again, so many times in all these years. You were the person that was used as a mirror, condemned to listen to so many tones in their voices, to see so many contrasting emotions on their faces, thinking that they were looking at you, but not realising that they weren't really seeing you, that they weren't talking to you.

And amidst all of it, you hid yourself. You closed up. Seeking that moment of silence and apparent calm, that space to reflect and think. You tried to understand, to really listen to all those words that are still right here in your mind, hurting you every time you thought you forgot them. You looked for that truth, for that explanation on what you really did wrong, how it could've happen so many times, in so many different situations, with so many different people across the time. But you never found it. So, in doubt, you just chose to never really come back. To not expose your apparently dangerous self to all those innocent souls. To not express your feelings, not through actions nor words, just to not burden them all. Those poor ones that might be forced to endure your wrong type of love.

But it is ridiculous. You don't have so much power over others. No one has such power, except when it is used on our own selves. You can’t be possibly the reason of every disgrace or conflict. And you know it. You are just not able to remind it to yourself, being under all the garbage of their own internal problems that they throw at you without any shame.

It is indeed a too much of a coincidence that it happened so many times with so many different people. But you are not the one that connects them. Or to be exact, not in a way that you convinced yourself you do.

Your love, your ways, just who you are, are not the ones to cause so much distress and pain, you are not the one to broke them down, to destroy their walls and stab them. You are just someone who has a gentle and tender enough way to make them all feel safe. Safe to get closer. Safe to trust. Safe to open up more and more, without realising that all that they were ignoring and bottling down up until now, will simply explode, reversing all their anger on those that are with them, on those that care and want to help them.

You are just that kind, that understanding and patient. Enough to assure others that you won't allow anyone to hurt them so much. That you won’t allow even your own hands to scratch them, always ready to correct yourself and change just to protect their heart. But you can’t always do it. You can’t heal the wounds that they themselves are opening up. You can’t find a cure for an illness that they themselves aren't aware of where it is coming from. You can’t understand it yourself, and then make them understand that you are not the one that they are resenting so much. Not when you both are so resilient in not accepting it.

It is a heavy fate, the one of making others feel so accepted and safe that they don't hold anything back, not even things that have nothing to do with you and what you can make work… But it is not a reason to hide yourself. To keep you in the shadows, never again crossing other paths. It is not your fault that you love strongly and sincerely enough to make others want to escape their traumas, their pains and fears, just for a chance to feel and see this world the same way you did. And it is not your responsibility, the fact that they don't know how to control it, how to sort all of it, once it crashes down upon them.

The only thing you do is love. In all the ways and forms. All you do is being caring, understanding, open… So why would you change it when they see it as something else, as too much or not enough, just because it is different from the love they got used to? Let them go, let them pass by, if they can’t feel satisfied, if they want more as soon as you are willing to give them what others never wanted. But don't do so convinced of the fact that there won’t be someone that will see in you enough. Someone that would feel the same and express it in the same way. Someone that will find you, as soon as you make a step out of the punishment of loneliness that you put yourself in.

P.s. I opened a newsletter! Now you can find my readings and guidance right in your inbox. And, if you enjoy my work, it is a great opportunity to create a connection and community that is not limited to tumblr, but can be able to survive any ups and downs of platforms and times. So, if you would like to subscribe, you can do so completely for free right here.↓

{ Buy me some tomatoes 🍅 | My newsletter 📰 }

– Pile Two,

the birds: the king of cups and the two of cups

picture from → pinterest

You crave them, those feelings. The understanding, the acceptance, the complicity, the intimacy… And yet you force yourself to stop before, every single time you catch a glimpse of it, of the possibility to have it.

Can it be called self sabotage? Self defence? Trauma? Perhaps. But at its core is only the uncertainty of what it will lead to. The wander about whether you will truly find someone that understands you, if they will be really so aligned with you like it seems to? If their thoughts will follow the same flow of energy… Or if their mask of appearance will come down, revealing a wolf in the sheep’s skin, ready to devour you and your every feeling.

It just seems to you like a promise of a heartbreak, long before even connecting. All the time spent together, the little moments that were created, every shy way to get to know each other better… only for them to become someone you need to escape from. It doesn't seem worth it, it doesn't seem safe. It feels just like another losing game destined to leave you feeling played.

But… what else can be a stronger protective or revealing spell than our own words? What else can really shows us who we are and who is standing in front of us? What can be powerful and intimate enough to guide us right to others people core, to their soul, overcoming every obstacle they put in front just to protect themselves from others? And how else someone could ever find us, recognise us, without never listening to the voice of our heart, without seeing what our mind hides?

It is a risk, it is a long and intimidating chess game. But it is not at all worthless, not when it gives you a chance to know your opponent. Perhaps discovering that they are not playing to make you lose in your battle, but only to have a chance to be beside you, to get close to you, through a dance of lunges and parries, until one of you loses all the armour and weapons, remaining vulnerable in front of the other… and seeing in their gaze only admiration and the desire to hold your hand to help you get up stronger.

You are protecting yourself, hiding, making silent and fast steps in the shadows, hoping that no one will notice you, no one will reach out for you and pull you right under the painfully strong and inquisitive light. But while containing your breath, feeling that you only want to come back to your own safe bubble... you also, sometimes, slow down and stutter. When you see someone so bright that it is impossible to not cling to them with your eyes. Someone with a voice so sweet, a laughter so genuinely joyful and free, that you keep hearing them inside your mind for days to come, unable to forget what it sounded like. Someone so caring, so gentle and delicate in their ways, that you can't help but observe them from your hiding spot, admiring them like an angel that somehow survived amidst these mean and angry souls. You still do it, even if you tell yourself that it doesn't matter, that it doesn't mean anything because you will never again come out and get closer to them. You still do it, even if later you tell yourself that it was probably all false, a well played role in this life’s theatre. You still admire them, the people. Their ways, their character, their interests. You still feel that desire to come closer, to see their eyes and the whole universes inside them.

So why don't you just do it? Why don't you let yourself free from this cage that you put yourself in, convinced that it would protect you? Why don't you just connect, not for the future, not for a chance, not for the outcome… but only for that single moment? Because connection is not only about the bonds we create, the relationships that we later have. It is not only about if one thing was true or a lie, a promise or a betrayal to our heart. It is also that one moment, that one second, in which you feel that admiration, that excitement, that desire for more. It is that complicity, those smiles, those bright and joyful eyes. It is that interest, or attraction, or even playfulness caused by all the outcomes that those moments can create and make possible now, make them real.

You are not only protecting yourself from the worst, the most dangerous, the most painful moments… but from those that can make you feel safe and whole too. Those that could teach you, inspire you, guide you. Those that could bring those emotions and colours to a life that is now becoming a little too silent, too heavy in the emptiness they are forcing on your heart.

Make that step forward, allow others to see you, to hear you. Allow them to get to know you as you connect with them. Not just for those relationships that you could create and that already overwhelm your mind with all the things you should fear and worry about… But for you two. Those versions of you and them in this exact moment, so innocent and genuine. That don't have any fault. That didn't yet do anything bad, if not feeling called by another soul.

P.s. I opened a newsletter! Now you can find my readings and guidance right in your inbox. And, if you enjoy my work, it is a great opportunity to create a connection and community that is not limited to tumblr, but can be able to survive any ups and downs of platforms and times. So, if you would like to subscribe, you can do so completely for free right here.↓

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– Pile Three,

the birds: the eight of coins and the seven of wands

picture from → pinterest

You welcomed them in. Every single one of them. So many souls that you courageously connected with. So many minds that you genuinely understood. So many hearts that you devotedly took care of… No matter what it took, no matter how difficult at times it was. How often you felt torn apart, consumed, by their lives and stories, remaining with so little patience, strength and courage to take care of yourself, of your days and journeys…

There wasn't anything that was too hard, too much to do for them. There wasn't anyone that didn't deserve more attention, more patience, even as you were bleeding because of them. It felt as normal and necessary as breathing, to take care of them, to defend them… even from your own self, when their voices raised in accusation of your love being too suffocating, your desire to help and care, too much.

One after another they changed their mind, their appreciation, their gratefulness for what you did for them, for your way to be and care… And from being cherished and known as someone who is just so caring and loving, one day, you became someone who no one wanted anymore, not so close to them.

They knew better, they were doing everything right, and your suggestions or worries weren't anymore so needed, they became advices no one asked and apprehension no one wanted to be the focus of. They all became mature, independent, and strong enough to face this world on their own. Forgetting thanks to whom they were able to grow and learn so much, who was there by their side every time they'd fall, even if it was difficult for your own self to stand tall as you were holding them.

And while you couldn't force yourself to be angry at their confidence and growth, you also couldn't ignore the fact that it wasn't only this, there was annoyance and resentment too… for the aspects and ways of you that they used to love, choose and look up at you for. And for a heart that is genuine as yours, who can’t and doesn't want to see the bad in those that you love… it is simply confusing. A change so sudden in their behaviour and preference for you and who you are supposed to be. And so many of their voices, of whom used to beg for you to be more closer, that now ask you with anger and frustration why you are here, so ever present?

You can't understand it unless you are in their mind. And they won't tell you what happened either… Because for them the only one to change was you, now that all that they asked for became too much and not anymore needed for them. So you took a step back. Became more silent, more reserved. Not because you wanted to, because you were shy or afraid of being more… But simply because it seemed what all of them wanted. A connection that is only superficial, without any bits of true bond in it, more distanced, more cold. And, just to be sure, you did the same with others too, those that still didn't had a chance to get to see more of you, receive your attention and love, and now will never do. Because you can’t know if they will truly appreciate you or if, apparently, they'll only use you.

But is it really the right thing to do, the right solution? The one to condemn and treat someone coldly, because of another person that actually deserved it? Is it right to ignore those that want to be closer, just because someone else once didn't stay longer? To don't help those that feel so lost and confused, even when every inch of your soul wants to hold them tightly and show them how to go through it?

You are compassionate, you are gentle, you are caring. You want and need to be this way genuinely, without any expectation for others. You are that kind of person that is healing this world, taking care of it, helping us grow with your love and knowledge and experience. And yet you are forcing yourself to become like others, colder, distanced, not interested in what someone feels or goes through. You are trying to change your character, the way you are, the things that you are devoted to and your morals… And because of what? Some people that got up so easily thanks to your support to think that they made it on their own. So naively, like a child who is rushing to show you how well they go on that bike, not seeing that hand that safely holds them.

They might not realise it now. They might continue to think like this for a really long time. But sooner or later they will look back and see all that you did for them, silently thanking you, hoping once again for your forgiveness. But in the meantime, you didn't do it only to have that back, didn't you? You were this way with them because this is who you are, not for them to appreciate it. So why stop being you because of those few? Why putting on pause who you are, not allowing yourself to be this way with anyone else, until those specific people realise their mistakes?

Be you. Be true. Be open and honest. Unlimited in the way you love and care, in the way you truly engage with others. Don't change yourself. Don't try to be someone else who you are not, don't present yourself to new souls this way, because you are much more. And there are so many people who will appreciate your ways and understand their worth.

P.s. I opened a newsletter! Now you can find my readings and guidance right in your inbox. And, if you enjoy my work, it is a great opportunity to create a connection and community that is not limited to tumblr, but can be able to survive any ups and downs of platforms and times. So, if you would like to subscribe, you can do so completely for free right here.↓

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_

[lozeyart]

What am I doing in the year of our lord 2025 drawing Junjou Romantica fanart

Goodness me, I got into JJR back in 2008 when the anime aired and then I got into the manga that same year. At the time, I wasn't really drawing people, I was drawing animals, but I was OBSESSED with this yaoi with my whole heart and wanted so badly to draw fanart for it. So now here it is! 17 years in the making! Btw, trying to interpret anime hair logic with my style is easier said than done, but I did my best lol. All just colored sketches and then some scribbles for funsies.

But I definitely have some complicated feelings about this manga/anime. More below the cut (its A LOT, I'm so sorry).

JJR was one of the first yaois I ever got into, and back in 2008 when I didn't realize being gay was an option, this silly little manga/anime felt like an escape for me. Well, it's now 17 years later and upon rereading this manga (I still have volume 1-12, I could never get rid of them, they mean to much to me) I realize that it has aged POORLY.

This yaoi is definitely a product of its time (2002/2003) and it SHOWS. I find myself disappointed in the dynamic between Usagi-san and Misaki and wish that Misaki would show Usagi-san SOME sort of affection outside of the bare minimum (cooking and cleaning for Usagi) and Usagi definitely has some... Issues of his own. Now, I'm an adult, and I can see that consensual non-consent (CNC) can be fun and exciting for a couple (you know, if agreed upon beforehand), and it can be fun for your partner to initiate things out of the blue, but Usagi definitely toes the line of what that is. Now, I know that this was the early 2000s and yaoi relationships tended to have that dynamic (One being the seme who didn't listen to "no" and the uke who said "no" constantly but actually secretly liked what was happening), like I said, this series is definitely a product of its time. But I don't know man, its not fun (for me) reading sex scenes where one of them is constantly telling the other one to stop over and over again. (I also think it'd be cute as fuck if Usagi-san asked Misaki if he could kiss him and Misaki shyly said yes instead of yelling at him like he always does).

I even went online to read up to volume 27, but all I can express is that same disappointment. Misaki rarely even likes to acknowledge that he's in love with Usagi-san, or is dating the man, or even likes him (it seems to be only under duress that he admits these things STILL. IN 2022 when that volume was released!)

I wish there had been more character development in the years since I stopped reading the manga, I wish we could see Misaki and Usagi-san acting like they actually like each other outside of when they have sex (yes there are small moments between the two, and a bickering couple can be a fun dynamic, but dear lord lets shake things up A LITTLE. I'M BEGGING).

Lets not even get started on the sketchyness that is (at the start of the manga) a 28 year old falling in love with an 18 year old (And we're not even going to TALK about Miyagi and Shinobu) -don't bring up the age of consent in Japan, I do NOT wanna hear it-.

Listen, I'm 29, and I would NEVER even DREAM about dating an 18 year old (or 19 year old) at my age. (Fuck, the youngest I'll date is MAYBE 23 but even THATS pushing it for me).

All of that to say is that I still can't help but have an extreme soft spot for this series, and there are still moments that I love from this (Volume 9, the Christmas chapter, am I right? Gets me EVERY time), and fuck, Shungiku Nakamura is probably still making bank with this series so who the fuck am I to say anything lol. I'm just a rando online with an opinion, you don't have to agree, and you can think that whatever Misaki and Usagi have is fuckin' AWESOME. I'm just an old fart

But, I dunno, I think it'd be interesting to explore Misaki's internalized homophobia, and Misaki slowly but surely growing more and more comfortable with not only accepting Usagi-san's affections and even reciprocating and initiating on his own, but also accepting HIMSELF and being happy with who he is instead of the constant self shame he puts himself through for being with a man. Let's be so real, he is gay, he can't stop looking at other attractive men and FAWNING over how hot they are (Nowaki, Todo, Injuin Sensei, the list goes on).

But who am I to complain, I went and drew fanart of these two anyway. Rock, meet glass house.

Unrelated, I love the art style in volume 3-6 a lot because its very "late 90s early 2000s" art and I think the art peaked in volume 9. And now its unpeaking. Bring back Usagi-san's yaoi chin so help me god.

I do have yaoi I prefer over this one a lot more, and involve older couples (which I find that I prefer), and have fun, cute stories. If anyone has read this far and wants those recs, lemme know (dear god I'm so sorry, this has gone on so long.)

Anyway I do want to redraw some of the sex scenes and post it to my bluesky.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Since the Yus of the Manga are (Maybe) meant to be foils to the OB characters. What do you think the foils of Vil, Idia, and Malleus will be like?

I think there's a variety of ways Vil, Idia, and Malleus could be "mirrored", depending on which traits of theirs you focus on and how you interpret the "opposite" of those traits. This post only covers MY ideas; these are by no means the only ones, nor the definitive ones.

For Vil, I see his Yuu being someone that isn't conventionally attractive (scraggly hair, dark circles, imperfect skin) but has a very pleasant personality if you look beyond their appearance. Agreeable, generous, always willing to lend a hand and listen, etc. Or maybe his Yuu is someone who is similar n Vil's beautiful appearance but is humble about how they look or doesn't really care how others perceive them. This could parallel Vil/the Fairest Queen, who look beautiful but are made rotten and ugly by their envy. I’ve also seen people suggest a hypermasculine Yuu that has traditionally feminine interests or someone who is gender nonconforming in some way.

For Idia, I've seen a lot of joke posts about how his Yuu should be a fujoshi, two Yuus (siblings), or simply "a woman" because that's an otaku's greatest weakness 😭 and while those can be funny, I don't think the parallels to Idia would be on such a surface level. Since Idia's trauma is deeply related to that of his brother's passing, I wonder if his Yuu will be an older sibling (to parallel him) or a younger sibling (to parallel Ortho). Maybe it's someone who has already overcome the grief of losing a family member, or a Yuu that got isekai'd but the carriage while rushing in to protect their sibling from the truck or carriage.

For Malleus, I think it'd be neat if they did something "meta" to sort of tie everything together, since book 7 has had meta themes such as Lilia talking about dragons like Malleus becoming fairy tales, dream hopping, and Malleus himself likening the changes to the real world to the changes in Gao Gao Draco-kun's life cycle. What if his Yuu is a storyteller? Someone familiar with fiction tropes and can read others + situations well? That way we could wrap up the main story with something meta too, like how all the characters' stories have woven together to become one. Alternatively, it might be interesting to parallel Malleus with a Yuu that's a chunnibyou... because he is someone who relies on his magic to make people happy, yet is always alone--yet maybe his Yuu is someone who claims to have powers and broods, but is actually an average person that's a bit silly and attracts people to them.

[pixiecactus]

himbo!gendry/dumb!gendry? i don't know him...

Look with your eyes, Arya wanted to shout at the men below. "Can't they see we're no lords or knights?" she whispered. "I don't think they care, Arry," Gendry whispered back. And she looked at Ser Amory's face, the way Syrio had taught her to look, and she saw that he was right.

.

The air was full of birds, crows mostly. From afar, they were no larger than flies as they wheeled and flapped above the thatched roofs. To the east, Gods Eye was a sheet of sun-hammered blue that filled half the world. Some days, as they made their slow way up the muddy shore (Gendry wanted no part of any roads, and even Hot Pie and Lommy saw the sense in that), Arya felt as though the lake were calling her. She wanted to leap into those placid blue waters, to feel clean again, to swim and splash and bask in the sun. But she dare not take off her clothes where the others could see, not even to wash them.

.

"If there's people, there's food," Hot Pie said, too loudly. Gendry was always telling him to be more quiet, but it never did any good. "Might be they'd give us some." "Might be they'd kill us too," Gendry said. "Not if we yielded," Hot Pie said hopefully.

.

Hot Pie agreed. "They told Yoren to open the gates, they told him in the king's name. You have to do what they tell you in the king's name. It was that stinky old man's fault. If he'd of yielded, they would have left us be." Gendry frowned. "Knights and lordlings, they take each other captive and pay ransoms, but they don't care if the likes of you yield or not." He turned to Arya. "What else did you see?"

.

Gendry squinted up at the sun. "Evenfall will be the best time to sneak in. I'll go scout come dark.""No, I'll go," Arya said. "You're too noisy."Gendry got that look on his face. "We'll both go." "Arry should go," said Lommy. "He's sneakier than you are."

.

"He's going to die, and the sooner he does it, the better for the rest of us. We should just leave him, like he says. If it was you or me hurt, you know he'd leave us." They scrambled down a steep cut and up the other side, using roots for handholds. "I'm sick of carrying him, and I'm sick of all his talk about yielding too. If he could stand up, I'd knock his teeth in. Lommy's no use to anyone. That crying girl's no use either." "You leave Weasel alone, she's just scared and hungry is all." Arya glanced back, but the girl was not following for once. Hot Pie must have grabbed her, like Gendry had told him. "She's no use," Gendry repeated stubbornly. "Her and Hot Pie and Lommy, they're slowing us down, and they're going to get us killed. You're the only one of the bunch who's good for anything. Even if you are a girl."

.

But Jaqen H'ghar still smiled. His garb was still ragged and filthy, but he had found time to wash and brush his hair. It streamed down across his shoulders, red and white and shiny, and Arya heard the girls giggling to each other in admiration. I should have let the fire have them. Gendry said to, I should have listened. If she hadn't thrown them that axe they'd all be dead. For a moment she was afraid, but they rode past her without a flicker of interest. Only Jaqen H'ghar so much as glanced in her direction, and his eyes passed right over her. He does not know me, she thought. Arry was a fierce little boy with a sword, and I'm just a grey mouse girl with a pail.

.

"Never mind about Ser Lyonel." He drew her aside by the arm. "Last night Hot Pie asked me if I heard you yell Winterfell back at the holdfast, when we were all fighting on the wall." "Everyone was yelling stuff," Arya said defensively. "Hot Pie yelled hot pie. He must have yelled it a hundred times." "It's what you yelled that matters. I told Hot Pie he should clean the wax out of his ears, that all you yelled was Go to hell! If he asks you, you better say the same."

.

"Maybe there won't be a lot of them.""If there's two, that's too many for you and me. You never learned nothing in that village, did you? You try this and Vargo Hoat will cut off your hands and feet, the way he does." Gendry took up the tongs again. "You're afraid."

.

She heard them coming long before she saw them. Hot Pie was breathing heavily, and once he stumbled in the dark, barked his shin, and cursed loud enough to wake half of Harrenhal. Gendry was quieter, but the swords he was carrying rang together as he moved. "Here I am." She stood. "Be quiet or they'll hear you." The boys picked their way toward her over tumbled stones. Gendry was wearing oiled chainmail under his cloak, she saw, and he had his blacksmith's hammer slung across his back. Hot Pie's red round face peered out from under a hood. He had a sack of bread dangling from his right hand and a big wheel of cheese under his left arm. "There's a guard on that postern," said Gendry quietly. "I told you there would be."

.

By midday Hot Pie had begun to complain. His arse was sore, he told them, and the saddle was rubbing him raw inside his legs, and besides he had to get some sleep. "I'm so tired I'm going to fall off the horse." Arya looked at Gendry. "If he falls off, who do you think will find him first, the wolves or the Mummers?" "The wolves," said Gendry. "Better noses."

.

Dusk was settling as they stopped to rest the horses once more and share another meal of bread and cheese. "I'm cold and wet," Hot Pie complained. "We're a long way from Harrenhal now, for sure. We could have us a fire—" "NO!" Arya and Gendry both said, at the exact same instant. Hot Pie quailed a little. Arya gave Gendry a sideways look. He said it with me, like Jon used to do, back in Winterfell. She missed Jon Snow the most of all her brothers.

.

"What about Hot Pie?" Gendry pointed. Hot Pie was already on the ground, curled up beneath his cloak on a bed of damp leaves and snoring softly. He had a big wedge of cheese in one fist, but it looked as though he had fallen asleep between bites. It was no good arguing, Arya realized; Gendry had the right of it. The Mummers will need to sleep too, she told herself, hoping it was true. She was so weary it was a struggle even to get down from the saddle, but she remembered to hobble her horse before finding a place beneath a beech tree. The ground was hard and damp. She wondered how long it would be before she slept in a bed again, with hot food and a fire to warm her.

.

"Aye, and good for you." The man smiled. "It's not every day I meet a lad with such a tasty name. And what would your friends be called, Mutton Chop and Squab?" Gendry scowled down from his saddle. "Why should I tell you my name? I haven't heard yours."

.

"Gendry," she called, her voice low and urgent. "They have a boat. We could sail the rest of the way up to Riverrun. It would be faster than riding, I think." He looked dubious. "Did you ever sail a boat?" "You put up the sail," she said, "and the wind pushes it." "What if the wind is blowing the wrong way?" "Then there's oars to row." "Against the current?" Gendry frowned. "Wouldn't that be slow? And what if the boat tips over and we fall into the water? It's not our boat anyway, it's the inn's."

.

honestly the fact that gendry is street smart and also happens to be very intelligent on his own, is hardworking and very loyal, has a quick wit, and has a good set of survival skills is why he really works well as arya's partner and most trusted friend. also he's not a pushover and i think that's very important as well.

(i'll be willing to argue that since he was an apprentice under tobho mott, he must know how to read and write some words, or at least know his numbers... not saying that he received the same level of education that arya did; that would be ridiculous, but i believe that he must have at least a little grasp of it)

[pzos-amiserableidiot]

Okay so I’ve tried looking and maybe I’m just bad at finding where everyone else in love with this niche is hiding but like. Carlton Lassiter/Burton Guster from Psych (2006) is an underrated ship. Like I thought maybe in the OT4 people would utilize their dynamic a bit more but no!! They’ll do literally every combo of the ship and leave Gus and Lassie like… never or barely interacting?!? And I’m like guys!!!! There’s so much to be used between those two!!!!

- they both are looking for commitment

- They both are really weird about their cars

- The tap dancing episode!!

- Gus being more serious but still going along with Shawn’s antics. Could help Lassie loosen up a little

- Carlton being more serious and reliable and while weird Gus has his own quirks and is best friends with Shawn. I highly doubt Lassie’s own interests would be much of a turn off.

- I truly think Gus would freak out and go even harder on his ‘Lassie is weird’ thing, trying to get rid of his crush by spending more time with Carlton, being horrified he’s finding his quirks endearing. To the giving in a flirting.

- I think Lassie wouldn’t be as horrified more just ‘really?????? Idiot #2??????’

Like yeah there will definitely be issues like Lassiter always putting his work first and staying late but they’re both romantics and Gus will follow Shawn and like listen. They’d have to work through a lot but so does literally every other pair in the OT4!!!! So I don’t see these as bad things just issues to play with!! Fun angst!!

Maybe I’m not explaining this well at all but I truly think Gus/Lassie is a such a fun little rare pair and underrated dynamic. A lot of what makes Shawn/Gus (specifically not wanting to mess up the current dynamic and one dragging the other into antics) and Gus/Jules (strangers to coworkers to friends to lovers) and Shawn/Lassiter (idiots and denial and fuck ur hot why are you hot) such fun and interesting pairs is what makes Gus/Lassiter fun too!! Strangers to enemies(?) to coworkers to friends to lovers! Denial! Angst! Internal crises!! It’s just so good and I want more.

To further the Gus/Lassiter agenda I recommend the following two fics to everyone. Both are on ao3.

i wanna wake up with your weight by my side by under_the_silk_tree

A Gus sick fic where Lassie has to take care of Gus. Very cute. 8k+ words. One shot

Last Week Gus by under_the_silk_tree

The tags and summary kinda give it away but it’s so !!!!!!! 3k+ words. One shot

[blanceyblance]

A study on Lance's underrated role on the team. Pt. 8

Or The Space Mom Lance agenda

Coran Pt. 2

Last time we left at Lance's sacrifice to shield Coran.

We don't really have an exact moment of Coran thanking Lance, but we have him then asking him to help him clean the pods. This may be Coran's way to spend more time with Lance.

And Lance complains, but he still helps Coran clean while listening to his stories (until the pod traps him)

The Paladin Handbook has this cute note abou how Lance does listen to Coran's stories, at least enough to give Coran and Alfor a friendship name.

After what happens with the pod, Lance is pretty much convinced the Castle is Haunted, and he looks very distressed and scared.

Right until he hears Coran's voice asking for help, ignoring his own fears, Lance doesn't think twice into going to help the altean.

Once Lotor appears, they are also pretty much in sync when it comes to doubting him and being worried about Allura's wellbeing.

Lance defers to Coran's knowledge when it comes to doubting Lotor

They very much are in sync on this, and when Allura returns and helps them scape, both agree that they should have trusted her mirroring the others position.

While this is meant as Lance having concerns for her as her love interest. It is interesting that they made his concerns parallel the parental figure.

(And i don't want to go into that weird rabbit hole so lets continue.)

After being captured by Zethrid and Ezor, Coran is the only one who can help the paladins.

He frees them with the help of Acxa but not without his own injuries.

Lance and Keith are the first ones to run to help an injured Coran. With Lance very quickly putting Coran's arm around his shoulders so the altean could use him as support.

Keith goes onto ask abou Acxa but Lance just reassures Coran that he is in good hands.

And Lance is also the one who keeps Coran from revealing their location.

Lance and Coran are an unlikely duo but they are often very in sync. Coran is one of the people Lance had sacrificed his well being for and he looked very concerned at seeing an injured Coran in Zethrid's ship. He listens his stories even if he complains and is the only Paladin we had seen (as far as i remember) helping him clean and share stories from their home planets.

It wouldnt be far fetched to say they do share a unique bond.

The Space Pets

Starting with the mice, while they are Allura's little friends the other paladins had had cute little interactions with them.

For Lance, we have him sharing some of his food with them after getting out of his pod.

And this moments where Lance talks to them about his feelings. While the Mice sleeping on him is meant to be a joke, the fact that they feel secure enough to go sleep on Lance's lap is quite cute even if he was annoyed with them at first, he ends up giving them a bath and the Mice consider him their friend after.

We are starting the nexp part with Best Girl Kaltenecker plus some other characters and miscellaneus info and moments.

Thanks so much for reading

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7]

[takendruid]

This is the video! I saw it and was pretty interested. There are some things I just don’t agree with in the video, but the bit about concept-based vs gameplay-based games made me have my epiphany. I think the actual point comes from a take I massively disagree with, but yeah.

Massive Bleach spoilers ahead, but I haven’t been able to talk about this with anyone other than my friend because Bleach fans are boring asf people who don’t care about trauma and the effects of trauma and being killed like I do. Because I’m a Jason Todd fan. But I’m gonna go on a huge fucking ramble because… I need to talk about this and have someone listen to me.

I’m a huge mental health, trauma, and realistic trauma responses freak when it comes to characters. People acknowledging characters having PTSD makes me so happy, which is why I love the fandom around Jason so much. BECAUSE PEOPLE ACKNOWLEDGE HIS TRAUMA!!

One of my favourite characters in media is Ichigo Kurosaki from Bleach, and I have heard not a single person even whisper about the fact that he blatantly has PTSD, or should at least be heavily affected by the shit he went through. Yes, he’s an anime protagonist so he can’t really have it for story reasons, but… HE VERY CLEARLY DOES HAVE IT! AND HE VERY CLEARLY HAS SURVIVOR’S GUILT!! This is why I love Evangelion so much.

Ichigo’s ENTIRE motivation for becoming a Soul Reaper (I’m a dub watcher) and wanting to help people is because his mother was killed protecting him. One of the reasons season 1 of Bleach is my favourite animated arc is because of how much it actually delves into the fact that Ichigo was severely affected by his mother’s passing. His entire personality, his entire person, his entire motivations and desires were fundamentally changed because of that one event when he was 9. It’s talked about so much in season 1 and I LOVE IT!!! Obviously it’s redundant to constantly bring it up over the rest of the series, but I’m certain Ichigo and Bleach are why I’m such a freak over this stuff.

BUT IT GETS EVEN BETTER!! Because in the final arc, he can’t get to his final level of power because the trauma of losing his mum IS STILL AFFECTING HIM! HE STILL HASN’T BEEN ABLE TO MOVE ON AND HEAL DESPITE EVERYTHING! Until his dad finally tells him what really happened, and it allows Ichigo to finally move on, heal, and accept that IT WASN’T HIS FAULT HIS MUM DIED!! AND THEN HE GETS HIS FINAL POWER UP!!!!! I love Ichigo so much, he’s an amazingly well-done and grounded protagonist.

It upsets me that people hate him as a protagonist, and say he’s unrelatable because he is extremely relatable (also I kin him a lot. I haven’t lost any parents per se, but I see myself in him). Those guys just want a loud, silly guy who isn’t scowling 24/7 and isn’t objectively the straight man the entire show. BUT THAT’S WHAT I LOVE. Like I’m sorry, we can’t have silly loud guys who are extremely goofy for all three of the Big 3, Goku will never be a Big 3 protagonist because he is the founding father of those three anime/manga.

Also Ichigo… in less than 12 hours, died TWICE in EXTREMELY TRAUMATIC WAYS to the SAME FUCKING GUY and then COMES BACK without ANY TIME TO MENTALLY PROCESS. I have been a Bleach and Ichigo fan for 13 years, and a Jason Todd fan for about 3 months. Jason didn’t need to teach me anything because I can use my own brain to realise that DYING IS TRAUMATIC. I need Ichigo with PTSD around dying. Please. For the love of god. He was 16. He acts and looks older than 16 so I think everyone forgets how young he actually fucking was, but he was killed twice at 16 within the span of 12 hours without any time to process because he had to continue fighting, and then go to the World of the Living to fight another even bigger threat; where he ends up watching his friends and comrades all get cut down and nearly killed, EVEN HIS OWN DAD AND MENTORS. And then he’s stuck fighting for 3 months to unlock a power that will LOSE HIM HIS POWERS THAT HE’S ONLY HAD FOR ABOUT 8 MONTHS.

Jason Todd 🤝 Ichigo Kurosaki: dying as a teenager, and also fighting bad guys, and isn’t really able to properly get therapy about it because what? The fuck? Do you mean? You died and came back?????

Only four people knows he has died, only two people know he has died TWICE.

But to go onto that second death. Holy fucking shit.

I have not seen a single person talk about how much this affected Ichigo mentally. No one. Not a single person.

It’s extremely clear it affected Ichigo in-universe, because he can’t use his hollow mask correctly after it, and he’s very clearly shaken up by it when he sees it with his own two eyes. And yeah, you could argue “well if it’s focused on in the story then there’s no need to talk about it otherwise” I THINK BATMAN FANS WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOU. Because that’s just something I really like with Batman as a whole, and Batman fans. In-universe, and in fandom, people talk about Bruce’s trauma, Dick’s trauma, Jason’s trauma. The entire reason Bruce is Batman and Dick became Robin is because of the trauma of losing their parents. In Batman & Robin: Year One, Bruce literally says “as a trauma survivor” like?? This stuff is talked about frequently, and acknowledged. And I never see the same thing with manga…

Anyway, Ichigo doesn’t get time to process this. Maybe he does in the 18 months where he’s not a Shinigami, but he doesn’t get time to process it before losing his powers. Yes, he’s fighting in a time warp thing for 3 months when it’s actually 1 or 2 hours irl in-universe, so maybe he gets time to think about it during that… but he’s more focused on learning the final Getsuga Tensho to take down the ultimate evil bastard of the series at the time.

Again, sorry this rant is even longer. Can you tell I have been waiting to talk to someone about this? /lh

Gotham Knights is so fun when you don’t have a little bitch in your ear telling you it’s shit, and that Arkham Knight is better

[somuchbetterthanthat]

I think I appreciate Jon never fully giving in to the Corruption Arc that was laid on a red carpet at his feet in canon because, in part, I don't believe this was supposed to be the case.

If I'm considering the way characters react to Jon in latest seasons VS how Jon is actually acting, I'm seeing a world where characters are reacting to something that was supposed to happen, and didn't, because Jon the character fought the writer every step of the way.

What I personnally find it sad is that this wasn't acknowledged enough: Jon fought it. He loved it, he loved the horror and the fear and the ruined world at the end, everything about it was giving him extra dopamine/serotonine/whatever hormone is "happy hormone"; but he knew it was wrong to do so, and he CLUNG to that, the best he could, in a world that was literally shaped for him. In a world where there was the constant siren song of Jonah calling him back to him, calling him to his proper place as Pupil of the Eye.

What I would have liked to see is other people, people who haven't actually managed to resist it (Martin, with the Lonely, HELL, Basira with the Eye/hunt, Daisy a clear parallel to Jon, having tried to fought it and fell inevitably back to her more monstrous self in the end) genuinely fearing too much/not believing that this was an eternal thing Jon could do (if you could, of course, CONTRAST IT, with some more Jonah, from Jonah's perspective, of how /he/ fell into this, and how /similar/ he was to Jon in his younger years, all the more points for me) leading to them trying, and failing, and fearing, Jon's words and position at the end of the podcast, so much so that they tragically try to rob him of his agency again, just like Jonah and Annabelle did before.

On the other side of it, what would have been VERY interesting is Melanie and Georgie leaning more into Jon's side by the end. They wouldn't have had more Jonah InsightsTM that made Martin's fear so strong, nor Basira's defeat and dark pragmatism because of Daisy (and possibly some Jonah too). Melanie escaped the eye. She was given a chance to also fight against the Slaughter (against her will, yes, but she DID take the chance) and she succeeded. Georgie was touched by the end and managed, mostly, one might argue, to rise through it. So those two, especially in this horrible new context, might be more willing to listen to Jon. Melanie I'd say more so even than Georgie, if you think Georgie's history with Jon still blinds her too much.

At the very least I would have liked Melanie and Jon to argue about whether they can cut the tether by, like, removing Elias, then removing Jon in a way that might have of course horrified Martin (and possibly Georgie) but might have swayed Basira if Jon dying COULD choke to death the rest of the fears. If that makes sense. I dunno. I'm spitballing here. Like. Imagine a world where they create a new ritual, STILL with Jon as the core of it, but this time with it being Jon's choice, where they manage to pour so much fear into /Him/ that he becomes a Pandora box and the only way to end it is to burn it or seal it away or something else etc. etc.

Anyway. I just. I don't think Jon resisting the pull no matter how much he could have drink it all in is a bad thing. In fact, by god I love and adore Jon for it because it would have been SO easy for him to give in and he DIDN'T. My problem is more how i personally think the narrative failed him on that at the end.

[wispforever]

do you guys think kakuzu's ever really hard on himself bc of his time in the waterfall and then hidan just unknowingly is himself

bonus under the cut

[danadiadea]

If you answer my initial question "yes", then I wouldn't know what you've meant, since it's an "a or b" question.

Well, then the word "agree" is a peculiar choice, since people don't usually "agree" on the claims they've brought up themselves. People agree, yk, with others. Obviously, we don't always perfectly formulate our sentences in real life, but considering this is a book, rowling's choice of words seemed interesting to me. Snape didn't need to "reveal" he "desired" Lily, he came up with that explanation from the very beginning – what else would he say, I love a muggleborn who's a member of the Dumbledore's Order? So the "desired" part is old. The "other women" part seems to come after the resurrection. Why would they talk about that at all, unless

a) Voldemort blamed Snape for his demise to an extent and/or

b) Voldemort wanted to check whether Lily's death influenced Snape's loyalties?

And in both cases it would've been Voldemort who brought it up, not Snape. Why would Snape willingly touch such a sensitive topic?

It would've been super logical for Voldemort to blame Snape for his demise, since he was the reason Tom didn't kill Lily in a blink of an eye just like he did with James. We know he does blame himself to an extent ". . . This is old magic, I should have remembered it, I was foolish to overlook it . . . but no matter. I can touch him now", which I think is out of character because psychopaths never in fact assign any blame to themselves, but he might as well blame Snape on top of that. I know I would if I were him! And ofc Tom intended to kill Snape, it's literally interesting because he wanted to but then made Snape his most trusted advisor instead and didn't listen to Bella's warnings.

also when you say I imply Voldemort "explaining" something, I suppose you imagine it like he feels compassion and grief like a normal person and react because of this image not being realistic? Idk about you, I can see Voldemort playing a sympathising father figure or explaining himself and still being Voldemort, because he is manipulative, that's the point! why wouldn't he actually want to to cement Snape's "dismissal" of Lily, flatter him and solidify his supposedly existing anti-muggleborn sentiment?

also he had been objectively way more fond of Snape than was healthy for him. my man explained himself to his snake and then pulled out a speech deserving of a Pulitzer.

'He desired her, that was all,’ sneered Voldemort,‘but when she had gone, he agreed that there were other women, and of purer blood, worthier of him –’

Am I going mental, or is Voldemort implying that after he came back in GoF (and told Harry he knows is was Lily's sacrifice that saved him, the mistake he had made because of Snape) they had a talk about this with Severus, in a manner that required a need for Severus' "agreement"? Ofc you can't choose to disagree with Voldemort, but still the fact that Snape not only wasn't brutally yet slowly murdered for causing Voldemort's moment of weakness and years of suffering, but when the theme was raised Tom supposedly even came up with an "exuse" that Snape had to accept is fascinating. It's almost like... explaining himself in a Voldemort fashion? Dare I say a need for Severus' forgiveness and contentment?

Which also fits with Voldemort's need to rationalise and find excuses when he kills Snape. Voldemort. needs rationalisations. for screwing Snape.

I kinda start thinking Snoldemort is canon compliant lol

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

no one FREAKING understands jo march and friedrich bhaer the way i do