#I think it works better if he’s basically only mentioned in passing with his fate only alluded to by her and Entienne

[sammydem0n64]

know its late/early, but how many characters DO you plan on adding to literary smash?? just curious lol,, do you have a list of them all, are you only adding the one's you like from stories you like orrrrrrrrrr, something else maybe?? :]

Thank you for this alpaca yippee

This question really depends on circumstance! Right now, the only criteria for characters is that they either come from a gothic/horror novel (ie Frankenstein, The Man-Wolf, Jane Eyre, etc) or a fairytale/fable (ie Little Red Riding Hood, Hanse and Gretel, etc), there are currently two exceptions (technically three) that I’ve yet to put on Toyhouse but they still fit into the fairytale criteria technically!

I haven’t read any of the books currently in LS besides Jane Eyre and The Man-Wolf, so I don’t necessarily think it comes down to “what I like” since I generally don’t have a proper feel for any of these characters outside of what my pals show/tell me or what sparks notes or Wikipedia can tell me

Though I tend to add the characters I think have the most potential! Like, I’ll tell you that I plan on adding Bertha Mason to Toyhouse, but basically all of the other Jane eyre characters aside from Jane herself, Adelè and Bertha aren’t going to make appearances on Toyhouse. Rochester won’t be added (tho this is a cop out since his faith is left ambiguous), neither will other alive characters like Jane’s cousins. Yes they may technically show up in the story or are at least mentioned, but I don’t really care nor see any super big story potential in the Rivers family, especially not St John PLEASE GO TO THERAPY INSTEAD OF INDIA

I do plan on adding basically the entire Frankenstein family including the creature, Holda (Ruth/Little Red’s grandma... in some sense wink wink), Erik from the phantom of the opera, the mystery two/three, Bertha, various Jekyll and Hyde characters, and a few others! Though the list may change as time goes on, whether because I discover new stories or fairytales, or I decide I can actually do something with certain characters I wasn’t gonna add hsjdhdjjs

[matan4il]

To the Nonnie who sent me an ask in relation to Standing Together (Tumblr is being weird and swallowed your message, but I saw it), here is the vid you linked:

-> Okay, first, a rough translation of the Hebrew comment exchange featured in the vid:

Rula: Really, Muhammad? Children died today. Women. Displaced people. Not a word about 210 Palestinians who died during a rescue operation? We already have one Yuseph Haddad.

Muhammad: Really, Rula? 210 children and women died today? Unarmed? Only children and women? And if we're dealing with civilians... Not a word from you about the fact that hostages were held in the homes of civilians, by civilians? Don't lecture me.

Rula: Oy, you've completely lost it. Shame.

-> I'm not sure Standing Together is the biggest Jewish-Arab organization in Israel. Before Oct 7, it claimed to have reached a peak of 5,000 members, which out of a population of almost 10 million people is pretty negligible. And when practically every organization in Israel has both Jews and Arabs, including the freaking Israeli parliament (the Knesset), it just feels... weird to think there's nothing bigger than that. Then again, maybe when we talk specifically about an organization claiming to be political and to be serving the idea of Jewish-Arab solidarity, there isn't one with more registered members. Maybe.

But for example, the vid mentions an Israeli Arab activist called Yuseph Haddad, who's the CEO of an organization called "Together - Vouch for each other" (it corresponds with Jewish tradition, as the Hebrew word choice specifically echoes the Jewish phrase, "Kol Yisrael arevim ze la'ze" - all of Israel vouch for each other), which I know has both Jewish and Arab volunteers, though it puts Arabs at the forefront. IDK how many volunteers it has, but Haddad is actually one of the most beloved activists in Israel, people recognize him everywhere, he gets his own impression on Israel's most popular satire shows (performed by one of the show's Arab cast members, who's also one of Israel's most loved and recognized comedians), he got the honor of lighting one of the torches at Israel's Independence Day torches ceremony (seriously one of the greatest honor here), and I've seen some of his work with the next generation of Israeli Arabs. I also know that "Together" has worked with Yad Vashem to make educational content about the Holocaust more accessible for Arabic speakers. I find it hard to believe "Together" has less volunteers than ST does, but I don't have official numbers on them. Still, it's probably wise to keep in mind that ST's numbers are self reported.

-> BTW, this is also a response to a lovely Nonnie asking me what alternatives there are to Standing Together. "Together" has the mission of better connecting Arabs to Israeli society. They don't look away from criticizing Israel when it's needed, they do talk about where the state needs to do better, but on the basic level, they do talk about loving and embracing Israel. The way Haddad explains it, the recognition hit him when he was at the age to decide whether to volunteer for an IDF service or not, that the enemies of Israel are willing to kill Israeli Arabs in order to get to Israeli Jews, while the army is defined as the Israel Defense Forces, not Jews' Defense Forces, that it protects all Israeli civilians, and from there his connection was born and grew, and he tries to pass it on to other Israeli Arabs, and uplift and empower those who already feel it. He won't tell you there aren't issues or racism in Israel, but he does seem to believe that a cornerstone in overcoming those, is to build on the sense of shared fate we have here. "Together" isn't the only organization working in this direction, there are many more, working in various ways, but I don't think there's another that's as recognized, respected and liked by general Israeli society)

-> To the Nonnie who asked me about "A Land for All," I'm not sure if I'm the right person to answer this question, because I know one of the founding members of this movement in real life. He's a very nice person, honestly. He's a religious settler, born into that society, where most people are right wing, and are seen as violent, racist and extremist. I think painting any sector of society with a wide brush gets things wrong. The man I know certainly is none of those things, and from what he says and how I know him, he hated being seen that way, he wanted to break away from that perception of settlers. At the same time, he does love the place where he was born, he doesn't want those Jewish communities uprooted, and he also recognizes that Jews do deserve a state of their own (as well as Palestinians). "A Land for All - Two states, one homeland" was born from this duality. It's the idea that there will be two states, Jewish and Palestinian, that will exist by each other, but they'll both be a part of one confederation (one homeland), which will allow open borders for everyone within this union. So you seemingly don't deprive either side of self-determination, while still allowing Jews to live in the Judea and Samaria settlements, that current two state solutions would uproot, or return to Gaza, or move into any part of Hevron they'd like to (currently, Jews are only allowed to live and to access about 3% of one of our 4 holiest cities), while giving Arabs the right to live inside Israel if they so choose, anywhere they want to.

I think it's a nice idea, from very well meaning people, who are actually really thrilled at the notion that maybe ironically, peace between Jews and Arabs will originate with the settlers, of all people. I still have questions and doubts. First, because I've noticed different members of ALFA have different takes on some practical questions. Some say the settlers will be Israeli citizens living on Palestinian soil within this one confederation, others say they would be Jews with Palestinian citizenship. Either option raises more questions. Who will protect these Jews living among Palestinians? If they're Israeli citizens, the responsibility would be on Israeli security forces, would they be allowed to operate freely on Palestinian soil? If they're Palestinian citizens, can the Palestinian forces be trusted with the security of these Jews? Past experience suggests... no. Before there was a State of Israel, Jews living among Arabs were attacked and killed simply for being Jewish. No one came to their aid. And when Israel in the 1990's helped set up the Palestinian security forces that serve the Palestinian Authority, some of the weapons and training Israel provided as part of a peace process which was giving the Palestinians self-rule for the first time ever, ended up being turned against Israeli Jews, used against us in terrorist attacks. But even the mere question itself leads to another one, because if we're back to asking "Will non-Jewish authorities protect their Jewish minority," then where is the self-determination we've fought so hard for, the right to protect ourselves, shape our own fate, instead of forever being dependent on the good will of non-Jews...?

You can surely think of similar questions about what would happen with Palestinians living on Israeli soil, what would their citizenship be, and what would happen if they use this freedom of access to attack Israeli Jews? And how about that confederation, how would it work? What would be its joint authority over Israeli and Palestinian citizens vs the autonomy of each state? And how would the power be divided between Jews and Arabs in representation within the joint ruling system, will it be equal no matter what the demographics become over time (making it unrepresentative, some might argue undemocratic) or will it make each side's power relative to its population size, turning one side in reality into a minority, and therefore vulnerable to the power of the other side?

My first reaction was to like the idea enough, that I started thinking about it in practical terms, and got to many of these questions, and I haven't gotten good enough practical answers from ALFA members, sometimes I didn't even get consistent answers (telling me this initiative has not been serious enough, to sit down and iron out all of the differences of view their members have on practical (not ideological!) matters. So yeah, I just... can't really join the movement, even though a part of me still likes this notion, which allows me, as a Jew, full access to every part of my ancestral homeland, not just... to the sections that haven't been occupied by Arab forces in 1948, and ethnically cleansed at that time (like East Jerusalem), or before (like Gaza and Hevron).

On top of that, when I look at who ALFA collaborates with, we're back to sketchy partners, many talk about Jewish-Arab solidarity, but don't really implement it in a way that's fair to Israelis and Jews, such as ST. Or another thing that made me groan is that I saw ALFA celebrate a column by Thomas Friedman which supported them, that's fair enough and natural enough, except they included in their celebration the part of his column calling for a unilateral recognition of the Palestinian state, something that's an anti-peace move in itself, and in this context, I sincerely don't get how this move would help promote this solution, if the Palestinians will get a state anyway, without agreeing to it existing as a part of such a confederation...

This is my perspective,

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[kenisle]

(free of spoilers until the read more)

i like how deadpool and wolverine was able to work with audiences’ associations of actors + characters.

it’s not something that can really be done with comics, where between changing artists (or just each artist’s evolving style/human inconsistency), so many characters having the same base design (eg how almost all the robins, bruce wayne, and clark kent are just White Guy With Short Black Hair and Strong Jaw), and the same distinctive costume getting passed around to various characters (eg the captains america).

if you want a comic reader to know who a character is, you almost always have to explicitly introduce them, or else it could be damn near anyone under all the layers of ambiguity listed above.

with movies/tv though, aside from a few recasts, actors’ faces aren’t subject to nearly the same degree of variance that a drawn character is, so if an audience member recognizes the actor from a previous film, they automatically know the character on the screen. any explicit introduction of a returning character is for the more casual viewer but usually isn’t necessary as long as the character’s basics are established up front.* the smaller, contained scale of established movie/tv show canon compared to the amorphous behemoth that is comics canon helps a lot as well.

this means reintroductions are short and sweet, if present at all (and in this film can be explained easily by dp’s fellow fanboy enthusiasm when necessary, rather than just the writers blatantly using him as a mouthpiece), and simply the face of a returning actor affords a ton of depth to a character that couldn’t be developed in this installment. it doubles as a way to devote more time to other things in the movie and a way to reward returning viewers.

DP+W SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

*in dp+w, seasoned viewers recognize pyro from X2, but we also get a refresher of his deal, both new (his allegiance in the void) and old (he has fire powers), so while his trajectory is a bit more clear with the wider context from X2, nothing he does is totally out of left field/unsupported by the text in this film.

so, while previous marvel movies have taken advantage of this shortcut to reduce weighing down the runtime with exposition, dp+w also snatched the golden opportunity to play a prank on the audience with it which i adored.

see, while there have been many cases of the same character being recast with different actors during marvel’s long run, very rarely was there one actor who played two DIFFERENT (major)** characters.***

**looking at you, stan lee.

***the only other example i can think of atm is oscar isaac, but he was basically unrecognizable under all the makeup and costume for apocalypse, so this trick wouldn’t have really worked with him anyway. hence “golden opportunity.”

so when chris evans’s cloaked form strode onscreen, audiences (and deadpool) were already well familiar with the cameo game and reasonably assumed he’d be reprising his more recent, more popular marvel role of steve rogers, only for the rug to be pulled out from underneath them at the fateful “flame on!”

not that there weren’t hints, of course (ie evans’s hair its natural brown rather than rogers’s more blond, the uncharacteristic taunt of “dick-for-brains” that even caught dp a little off guard, not to mention the total lack of signs outside the movie that evans and rogers would be returning to the mcu, or the illogic of doing so in a movie about deadpool and wolverine of all things), but the filmmakers know their audience and their expectations very well, resulting in what i found to be a hilarious and effective bait & switch. it was also, in my opinion, a much better direction to take the movie.

instead of nonsensically reviving such a central character that has already been given a complete arc almost as an aside in this movie that had little to do with him in the first place, they brought back a relic of movies left unfinished, remembered fondly but distantly (if at all) under the barrage of newer, flashier franchises. AND they did this knowing the old fantastic four films would soon be replaced (again), so it’s not like this johnny was ever gonna stick around. this was simply a lovely homage — a bid not to forget that we cared for those movies, too, and they’re still important to us even when the story gets rebooted.

instead of doing the same mcu bullshit we’ve grown tired of, they fed another line back to a central thesis of the movie: dying timelines (old, discontinued films) who have lost their anchor being (popular interest, production, etc.) shouldn’t be cut short (forgotten, discarded, disregarded) just because they’re not the prime timeline; there are still people living there (fans and creators caring about them) and value to be found in them.

and they were able to execute it in such an exciting, funny, and memorable way because of this connection between actors and characters that doesn’t exist in comics.

[confoundedluna]

thinking about TUA s4 again and the ending

and I know it's been long enough now that most people have said their piece and other people have probably said what i'm gonna say but it's just. argh

things worked about this season! remove them from the wider context and they make sense! Diego and Lila struggling in a regular world regular marriage because neither are used to that life? yes! the fuck ass way they went about that? no!

the ending in particular, people have pointed out how shitty the overall message ends up being of 'you are the fault/cause for your trauma and the pain you've inflicted on others across your lifetime and it's better you never even existed so at least they can be happy' but like. a bittersweet ending with the group sacrificing themselves Could have worked! it's just. the entire tone of the season needed to be different for it to work.

the group needed to have Got their happy ending and gotten to be happy for Once, so even if they were leaving it all behind, it happened! they got what they had all been looking for this whole time! and they got to leave the world a better place!

instead we get Luther reduced to a stripper joke, basically no mention of his wife (or most of the Sparrows at all), and his body mutated again even though that had No link to his marigold powers, living in a condemned building and trying pathetically hard to keep what he has left of his family together and cared for only to lose them all again in the end

Diego gets reduced to a fat joke when his actor is in Insanely good shape, he gets turned into a guy who would dump his problems on his family even after his own upbringing and how good a dad he was last season (at least from what i remember), and a guy who loses the family he finally got through his wife cheating on him with his brother and not being able to properly say goodbye to his children, dying not knowing whether she would choose him or them

Allison's husband walks out on her again, her kid that has been her main motivator seems to have a better connection with Klaus than her, her career has barely gone anywhere, and she dies having just sent her daughter alone to an unknown fate and not knowing if anyone would remember her

Klaus just Has to be reduced to a junkie that gets kidnapped and used and ignored by the rest of the group, except this time with no impact on the main plot, he doesn't have his connection with Ben anymore, and his fairly reasonable turn from immortal to paranoid germaphobe seems played as a joke, plus there's only just a Passing shot of the dog tags, no mention of Dave or his time at war

Five seems the happiest of the group at the CIA (LOW bar), but even then he's stuck back in another organisation like The Commission, and he gets absolutely character assassinated into some pathetic lovesick puppy who would enter an affair relationship with his brother's wife and hide a way home to the family he spent Decades in an apocalypse trying to get back to, and almost abandon them in the end because his BROTHER'S WIFE would dare to choose her family over him

Ben loses all sense of character and becomes only 'I love Jennifer', doesn't really have any real moments with the Umbrellas and barely mentions the Sparrows, eventually mutating beyond recognition and not even getting to die with his new makeshift family that he probably hasn't seen in the years he was locked up, beyond maybe Luther

Viktor distances himself from his family and can't hold down a relationship with anyone after Sissy, is forced to forgive Reginald for the abuse he went through because 'that wasn't me! it was the Other me!' and barely gets any moments with his family that has finally welcomed him before dying

Lila gets watered down and her character assassinated into some housewife that would cheat with her brother in law that she has seen looking like a child, no delving into the dynamic between her and her now-living family, and dies showing affection to her affair partner in front of her husband

making their lives miserable and then having the solution be that they all die and everyone else gets a happy ending is Not a good way to end a show like TUA - imo, it should have been either they're miserable throughout and finally get their happy ending, maybe getting to live just normal lives either separately with their 'birth' parents not knowing each other or what their lives used to be, or all together either with or without memories, OR they get to be happy, just for once, so that they can leave the world behind knowing that even if no one else remembers them, they got to experience happiness

Luther should be the definition of a perfect marriage with Sloane, living that stereotypical dreamlife

Diego should be doing Some kind of active work, maybe martial arts or self defense classes or Something, and getting to come home to his family happy and fulfilled with the life he has

Allison should have her husband and her child, and a career that, big star or not, she's happy in

Klaus should be in THERAPY, and he should be with Dave, finally independent from his family and not needing them to save him but sticking around anyway because he loves them and they love him

Five should be either alone romantically or with some Delores substitute, getting to live out his old man life in peace surrounded by the family he Platonically worked so desperately to keep together

Ben could be with Jennifer or not, but either way, he should have the Sparrows And the Umbrellas, with connections to all of them, even if he is still a bit of an ass - they love him anyway

Viktor should be with Sissy, finally fitting in to the family dynamic, finally in a relationship that's healthy, that he gets to keep, not sidelined or isolated but just another part of the gang

Lila should be a working mom in some way, either doing something like Diego or as part of an organisation, but still coming home Happy to her family at the end of the day, no cheating

whether that's their ending, or just what they get temporarily and have to choose to sacrifice for the greater good of the world, these characters that have spent So Long being traumatised and fighting for a sliver of happiness should get to experience it properly, not spend every minute tired and sad and even hating each other before they have to die no matter what

[songmingisthighs]

Ignominy

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

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ch. lxxxviii - 2 month mark

hybrid!san × human!reader

buy me coffee ?

everyone wants to belong, it's basic human need to connect with people around them. what happens when you're responsible for someone who belongs to two worlds but at the same time belongs to neither ? worst part is, what happens when it's your ex ?

You hate to admit to your uncle but you love your job to bits. It's not like he had to twist your arm for you to accept the job anyways but you hated to admit that you kind of resent not working at the academy when he first offered you the position a couple years back. Every day you only experience good stuff and despite the work stress and pressure, there would always be something to make up for it. And surprisingly, it's not always your friends.

It was easy to fall into the rhythm but it was even easier to find the joy in the work. Compared to working corporate pharnaceutical, the academy was heaven. You didn't realize that the work load could be so diverse, one day you're working in your office, the next you're pitching classes to talent agencies and entertainment companies, then somehow you find yourself meeting actual professional dancers who are friends with the current trainers and even meeting trainees who are set to debut in a year or less. Sure, it might be because of your role and rank but it's still fun and amazing nevertheless. The students were awesome as well and while you didn't get the chance to know them personally, you love seeing how happy they are after class, simply enjoying youth.

From time to time, whenever you passed classes or students inside and outside the academy, you'd get reminded of your own youth. Particularly how hou spent the most important time of your life with San.

It had been a while since you talked to him and while you were glad that San seemed to be getting on with his life so easily, not even bothering to contact you again. Sure, you told him that you both needed time apart, but to completely cut you off after what he said? That's rich. You expected a bit of a struggle, him texting you fir at least the next several days and you having the joyous experience of leaving him on read. But of course, fate has been nothing but the equivalent of testicular torture on your emotion and soul.

With the slight (humongous) bitterness you were feeling, you could only hope that the package Seonghwa mentioned could cheer you up tremendously. Maybe one of your recent business acquaintances sucking up on you to get better deals, or maybe one of your friends playing dumb and later on would surprise you. So many possibilities and even the thought made you giddy.

Then a knock came to your door before the sound of it being pulled open and your heart began racing.

"I can see why you didn't hesitate to come work in your uncle's academy,"

Then your heart dropped to your stomach and your head snapped up so quick you could've sworn you heard a record scratch from inside your brain. Your body shot straight up and you stepped away from your desk when you realized who was standing just in your doorway.

San stood with the gentlest smile on his face and a bouquet in his hands, very reminiscent to the San you dated in high school specifically from your graduation day. Years passed and pressure building but that smile never changed.

Still, you were surprised to see him there, you might even thought that he was an illusion. So you did the first thing you can think of.

It was fortunate for San (and unfortunate for your petty side) that he has great reflex. Because just in the nick of time, San managed to dodge the mug filled with hot coffee that shattered upon impact on the wall behind him. It wasn't like you were trying to hurt him (that way), you just wanted to make sure you hadn't gone crazy.

For a moment, both of you could only stared at each other in disbelief; you not believing your own eyes, and San thinking that he may had almost lost brain function merely seconds ago. It was a miracle that San still had his grip on the flowers although he was afraid that the harsh grip might've crushed the stems. Just like how you almost crushed his skull. Not even the commotion of people peeking in to see what was going on and the sound of Hongjoong loudly asking what was going on and later on muffled and dragged away by who you can only assume is Jongho.

"What are you doing here?" You managed out.

Hearing your voice again made the tips of San's fingers tingle and ears burn slightly. It had been too long since he was able to clearly hear your voice without any animosity between you two. He was both glad and anxious to see you, but he was more terrified over the fact that his resolve falters quick just from being in the same room as you. But he couldn't give up just yet, he had a mission to accomplish and he was not about to let himself down. Again.

"I..." San stepped forward, warily looking at you in case you decide to throw something at him again. But when he realized that you were not tensed, he stood straighter and his shoulders relaxed. He carefully approached your desk and placed the bouquet of flowers on it gently. "I just wanted to see you to give you this, I... Haven't gotten the chance to congratulate you on your new job," he smiled. Your eyes automatically fell onto the flowers and you couldn't help but appreciate the beauty of purple hyacinths with leaves and white daisies peeking in and five white roses framing the bouquet like a border. Looking back into his eyes, you acted as if you were indiferent, "Oh yeah, thanks. I't's been... Two months already? So you're kinda late." Though the word 'late' stung, San did agree that his congratulatory expression was rather overdue. But he shrugged his shoulders, confident in himself and action, "Better late than never, right?" He wasn't hoping much, but he didn't expect you to look so guarded with him. Of course, for obvious reasons that he himself had personally provided in the past. "Really San, we haven't talked in a month and a half so why are you suddenly dropping into my office?" You crossed your arms at him.

It was now or never for San.

"(y/n), I've changed," he stated. You didn't say anything but you raised an eyebrow at him, urging him to continue wordlessly. "The last time we spoke... You were right, I was merely the shell of a man that I was before which was ironic since the 'man' you meant was a post pubescent teenager. I... Guess I didn't want to admit that I can actually get better because I was so used to in a state where my action and behaviour were easily excusable as hormonal imbalance, God knows how many people I need to apologize to and that's why I'm starting with you, the first person I ever hurt unintentionally, the person I swore would never hurt but in recent times, I've done nothing but. That's why... After our last chat, I started therapu and the moment I felt something was wrong, I slowly got myself back on meds. You were right, I wasn't in the right state of mind and it never occurred to me that before this, I've only been receiving help not because I wanted to but it's because people expected me too. I was so busy doing what people expect me to that I didn't even care that I was becoming such a mess which ended up burdening people more. I'm done living for other people, I'm done fixing myself for other people, (y/n). I want to start going after what I want." Your breath hitched at the mention of him hurting you and everything else. His words alone was enough to make you clutch on your own arms. It wasn't like you were desperately holding onto the fact that San had hurt you back then and several more times after that and even almost to the point of killing you. Again. But you have let go of the pain and though not completely, you didn't even think about it much anymore. Heck, you had managed to overcome the trauma and turn it into a lesson learnt through self-reflection. You had taken steps to grow in the past month and a half but you hadn't considered that San may have as well. But has he really?

With a your eyebrows scrunching in a frown of scrutiny, your hands dropped from your front to your sides, "What are you trying to say, San?"

Much to your surprise, San reached into his pocket and produced a box that you immediately recognized was from Tiffany and Co. He placed it on your desk, next to the flowers and before he could even say anything, the shock took over you and you rushed to smack San upside the head, producing a loud "OW" and a whine from him. Before he could recover, you rushed to close your office door before rushing back to glare at him. "That better not be what I think it is," you warned, glaring harshly at the puppy who has his bottom lip jutted out while rubbing at the impacted spot. "San, what were you thinking bringing that here!?" "Relax! It's an engagement ring, not a bomb!" He defended. Your eyes widened as large as it could go and your hand smacked his shoulder harshly, making him yelp again. "You idiot! I thought it was a promise ring or a damn bribe necklace! What were you thinking!" To say that you were dumbfounded was an understatement because you were... Bewildered, astounded, confused, and other big sounding words that just means "what in the actual fuck?". Still pouting, San slumped to the seat on the seat across your work chair and sighed, "I... I wanted to give you the option of coming back to me. Obviously, I don't want to force you to make a choice this big right now, but I just want to know where I'm committing to you. I've always wanted you to be the end game of my romance life and I still do. I didn't mean it as a way to pressure or burden you or something, (y/n), I'm stupid, not crazy," you couldn't help but crack a smile at his dumb self-depreciating joke that he took notice of. "Clearly, I took things the wrong way when my therapist said 'you need to start thinking of yourself for yourself'," San dejectedly said.

You could see that he was dejected, disappointed in himself and it helped pushing the wave of anger slightly away. With a long exhale, you leaned on your desk and tilted your head slightly to take in how San looked. Here, you have in your office that is much shabbier than his, a big time CEO whom people fear and respect, bowing his head in shame and regret like a child who just got caught stealing a cookie before dinner. This San is far closer to the old San that you loved, the San that you dated and was able to share everything with and it was like your high school self came back, reminding you that despite everything, his shortcomings are stemmed from the fact that there is a child inside him that wasn't being tended to.

Frequently, you question your decision and motives, but as you pulled San's head to your stomach and began rubbing his back, you didn't find the need to ask why you even did that. You did that because he looked like he needed it. It wasn't immediate, but San slowly inched forward to wrap his arms around your knees, closing his eyes to calm himself down. "I don't know why I keep messing up, (y/n). I just don't want to burden anyone anymore," he confessed, sounding very sincere. You chuckled and shook your head at his admission, "That's your problem San, you did everything right but one. You're taking on this journey alone when you should've relied on the people around you. You have four stupidly loyal friends, an older sister who'd risk her career for you, and parents who love you to bits but you still think you are all alone. You're still not able to differentiate between burdening and shouldering each other's burdens because... You were not wired that way. You were wired for seclusion and independence and while that turned you into a very successful businessman, it also turned you into the most coddled loner in this world." You pulled away slightly which prompted San to do the same to look up at you. "As much as I hate to admit, you're on the right track of becoming better and I commend that. But knowing your record, you need to start filling people in on your plans because not even I can justify you coming here hot on your heels with a damn proposal," the both of you couldn't help but chuckle at the ridiculousness of the situation. "Try harder, do better, okay?"

San shook his head in disbelief, not quite comprehending how he came in to show you how much he has changed, how much improvements he has made, only for you to swoop in and save him once again. He trully was like a puppy at your feet, he need to admit that to his therapist who had been telling him that all along.

"I don't know what I would do without you, (y/n)," you rolled your eyes and smirked at him, agreeing to the notion, "If you'd allow me, I'll do whatever you want to start making up for the past six years even if it takes me six decades. I know you wanted space and I have tried to give it to you, but let's face it, there are forces here that made sure that we kept going back to each other." As much as you'd like to contradict him, you have to agree that it was ridiculous how you both kept going back to each other. The first couple times could probably be blamed on both of your stupidity, but the times after that... Truly idiopathic. "I hate that you're making a point. Stop it," you joked which cracked a smile on San's face.

"Because of that... I actually have a plan on meeting someone, a relative my sister talked about who might give me a fresh idea of what's going on. Since you know my history and even have been part of some of the most crucial parts, do you think you can come accompany me? Help give your brutal honest opinion and rendition of what happened and what you think happened to me?"

You should've wanted to say no. You should've told him that you don't want to be part of his decision making until he can make his own damn sound decisions without involving you. But you yourself were curious about what exactly was going on and it wouldn't hurt getting some answer for your own sake. Helping yourself while helping others.

"I can't promise I'll hold your hand, but you can expect me detailing all your questionable lude choices and action."

And though you were being sarcastic, San could tell you were being honest and you were setting a boundary for yourself. And he was glad you did.

taglist :

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[ciginatree]

This Place is Haunted - Ricky Olson x fem!reader

Summary: When a group of friends decide to perform a seance in one of the most haunted spots in eastern Pennsylvania, things take a dark, bloody turn.

Content warnings: language, gore, death, Ouija board/seance, mentions of sacrifice, murder, suicide, child death; fluff

Word Count: 5.4k

Author's Note: Sorry this took so long to finish! Thank you all for being so patient, it turned out a lot longer than I expected and took a long time to edit. Shout out to my sister for being my beta tester. Enjoy!

This story is a complete work of fiction portraying a real person or persons in a fictional situation.

Ricky POV

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” I say, breaking the silence in the van. At my feet is a backpack stuffed with flashlights, gloves, a first aid kit, candles, and to top it off: a Ouija board. I had dabbled in the paranormal before, I live in a haunted house for fuck’s sake, but I had never thought to take it this far. I mean, breaking and entering into the most taboo spot in this part of Pennsylvania? There’s no way in hell it can end well.

“Seriously, Rick? You’re gonna back out now? This was basically your idea,” Angelo groans.

“Yeah you literally won’t shut up about this place and how much you’ve been wanting to ‘check it out’,” Balz emphasizes with air quotes, momentarily taking his hand off the wheel.  

“I didn’t mean I wanted to actually break into the place!”  

“Whatever man it’s too late you’re not getting out of this van.”

I sigh, sinking into the seat of the car, accepting my fate. I look down at my watch: 11:13 pm. The only people out in this podunk town now are druggies and night shifters. Moving here from Seattle was a drastic change, a welcome one, but drastic nonetheless. I left my hometown to join the band a few months ago and I have to say, I got some nasty culture shock. 

“Wait, why are we going to Chris’s? I thought he wasn’t coming,” I say as we turn onto the familiar street.

“He’s not. Y/N is,” Balz remarks smugly. 

“What?!” Y/N has been helping out with some of the more local shows since before I joined the band, she’s Chris’s neighbor so we’ve gotten to know her pretty well outside the shows too. And it’s no secret to the band that I’ve developed a bit of a crush on her. I groan, dragging my hands down my face and slumping into the seat. Goddammit I really can’t back out now. Balz pulls into the driveway and honks twice. A few seconds pass before Y/N exits her house. She turns around and locks the door before bounding down the steps towards the van. She slides open the door and settles into the window seat to the left of me, giving a quick greeting. 

“Oh Y/N, that seat belt is broken, you'll have to sit in the middle seat,” Balz says looking in the rearview mirror. Bullshit. I meet his gaze in the mirror, glaring at him briefly. I know exactly what he’s doing. 

“Oh. Ok.” Y/N replies nonchalantly, sliding over into the seat next to me. I scoot over a bit so she has room to buckle. I meet her gaze, giving her a small smile before looking out the window. Balz pulls out of the driveway and starts heading down the backroads towards the abandoned house. I feel stiff. I can sense her right next to me, our knees practically touching. I try to keep my breathing steady to not give myself away. “So…what exactly is the story behind this house?”

“Why don’t you tell her Ricky? You’re the one who’s obsessed with the place,” Angelo jokes. My cheeks heat up a bit and I pull my lips into a tight line. I neutralize my expression and turn towards Y/N to respond. 

“Long story short, a bunch of culty shit happened in the 1960s. Sacrifices, mania, suicide; that sort of thing,” I mutter out quickly.

“C’mon you can do better than that. Seriously, give me the details,” Y/N looks at me, eyes full of curiosity. 

I sigh, exhaling through my nose. “The Banes family moved into the house in 1962, the house was newly built. Emily Banes, the mother, started getting into the occult and paranormal pretty soon after they moved in. She believed there was some sort of spirit in her house that she needed to please, she basically worshiped it. In ‘63 she gave birth to Henry, who was born with his limbs all twisted up. The doctors did their best to fix him, but it didn’t work too well. Emily believed that the defects were because the spirit was angry with her, but the truth is she took thalidomide during the pregnancy to help with morning sickness which caused a malformation of Henry’s skeletal structure. About a month after he was born, she ritualistically sacrificed him in the living room in an attempt to ‘please the spirit’. She buried him in the wall and claimed he died from the defects,” the car is dead silent now as I continue,.”Emily went manic, blaming her husband, Robert, for Henry’s death. She tore into the wallpaper and brick, ripping up her fingers trying to find her baby. The neighbors found her roaming the neighborhood at night muttering to herself and digging in their bushes. She ended up stabbing Robert 34 times in his sleep before tying an old curtain around her neck and jumping off the balcony that overlooks the front room. The house has been lived in a few times since then, but has been abandoned for decades. Rumor has it that if you light candles in the shape of a pentagram in the living room, close your eyes, and listen you’ll hear a baby shrieking faintly in the walls.”

The silence was thick in the car, suffocating as we drove over the gravel backroads. I bite my lip, pushing the lip ring with my tongue as I wait for someone to speak.

“Jesus,” Y/N finally breathes out. I look over and her eyes are wide with shock. “We’re seriously doing a Ouija board here in the middle of the night?” There’s more than a hint of fear in her voice. 

“Don’t worry, Rick will protect you, won’t you Ricky?”

I roll my eyes at Angelo’s jab before turning my attention back to her. “Seriously though, it’ll be fine. I’ve got a pocket knife if things get tough.” I tap my pocket, smiling.

She chuckles, “Oh boy, ghosts watch out Ricky’s got a pocket knife.”

I laugh as the van slows to a stop. The run down house looms into view of the window. Taking a breath I grab the backpack in front of me before sliding the van door open and hopping onto the gravelly, dirt filled terrain. 

***

Glass crunches under my feet as we enter the house. A curved staircase shadows the entryway, what’s left of the musty carpet hanging loosely on the wooden stairs. I follow to the right of the staircase, the grained wooden floor of the front room coming into view. It’s littered, the sharp odor of urine assaults my nose and my chest heaves. I bring the sleeve of my sweater to my face and cough into it, holding it there in a feeble attempt to mask the smell. “Oh my god, I can taste it,” I wheeze.

“Christ!” I swivel around in time to see Balz coughing and swatting frantically at a cobweb caught on his face. I laugh maniacally into my sleeve as he hacks up half his air supply. When he’s regained his composure I sweep my hand out in front of me, gesturing for him to lead the way. Shuddering, Balz smacks my arm out of his path glaring as he speed walks past me. I snicker, falling into step behind him with Y/N behind me, and Angelo bringing up the rear.   

 Dust sparkles in the rays of our flashlights, the wood protesting beneath us. I sweep my flashlight over the area, taking in the decay. Clink. I aim my flashlight down in front of me, searching for what I kicked. A slim cylinder, caught in a notch of the wooden floor. A needle. Like I said, druggies. I swipe it over to the wall with the toe of my shoe and continue into the room. 

“Woah, is that…?” Y/N’s flashlight points up, the light bending off the ancient crystals of the chandelier. The broken light casts a speckled spotlight onto the twisted iron railing lining the balcony that overlooks the living room. The mangled railing leaves a gaping hole; a mouth filled with rotting iron teeth and a gruff wooden tongue. Mutilated shards of metal angle down the overhang, beckoning us to join it in death, just as Emily had.

“Yeah.” I say simply. I try not to imagine what her body would’ve looked like swinging below the chandelier. I slip the backpack off my shoulder with a jangling thud and crouch down to remove the supplies. Y/N brushes dirt and leaves away from the gear with the side of her shoe, taking a seat across from me. Legs crossed and hands folded under her chin she watches as I set up the seance. I pull out the candles and the Ouija board, furrowing my brow I rummage through the fabric. “Shit, I forgot a lighter.”

“Here,” Angelo paces back from the chipped wall he was inspecting, plunging his hand into his pocket to remove an old lighter. I take it from him, stowing it away in my hoodie.

“Thanks. Balz get over here!” Balz whips his head away from the dusty window and trods over to us. “Ok, here’s how this is going to work. We’re gonna set up a pentagram with the candles and us, the Ouija board, and the final candle will be in the center. Do not blow out any of the candles once we have started the seance, do not taunt the spirits, and absolutely do not end the session or remove your hand from the puck without saying goodbye. Or I will kill you. Got it?” Everyone murmurs some form of acknowledgement, looking around at each other. “Good. Everyone grab a candle and start setting up.”

The candles aren’t fancy, just small unscented tea candles found at the convenience store on Main Street. My back shivers and I take a breath as Y/N sets down the last point of the star. She, Balz, and Angelo rejoin me in the center as I unfold the board, placing the planchette in the center, and the final candle at the head of the panel. “Ok. Everyone turn off your flashlights.” Clicks echo throughout the room, and we are blanketed in an inky darkness. I stand up, withdrawing the lighter from my pocket and flick the metallic gear once, twice, the third time sparking a flame to life. Warmth dances across my fingertips and illuminates a burning orange under my face. I walk the perimeter of the star, igniting the candles one by one until the only one unlit is in the center of our little group. I tilt the flame, charring the pure wick of the final candle. Extinguishing the light in my hand I return the lighter to Angelo and cross my legs, filling the final gap on the sides of the Ouija board. Y/N sits fidgeting with the hem of her shirt to my left, Angelo to my right, and Balz across from me. I bring one knee up to my chest, folding the other beneath me. I grin in the lowlight. “Alright, let’s begin.”

Each person in the group places the first two fingers of their right hand on the planchette. We drag the puck along the perimeter of the board in three stalking circles, thinning the veil between worlds with each scrape of the cardboard. The planchette comes to rest in the center of the alphabet and I hesitate. “Shit, what are we even going to ask?”

“Probably should have thought of that before we started,” Balz hissed.

“Ok, ok just-” I sigh. “Hello?” Silence. I glance around, the flames stand still as unmoving soldiers. A lighthouse to whatever could be lurking here. I feel a chill skate along my back and I repress a shudder. A thud sounds from the back of the house and we whip our heads around, holding our breath. A small creak follows, then nothing. We all wait, turning back to stare at the unmoving puck expectantly. Nothing. “Must’ve been a rat or something. Somebody else try asking something.”

Y/N inhales, biting her lip before speaking. “Um, is… are there any spirits here? God I feel stupid.”

“You’re fine, let’s just wait a minute. See if something happens,” I tell her, eyes remaining fixed on the board. We wait, silent, for thirty seconds.

“Holy fuck!” Angelo panics suddenly. The planchette twitches, dragging itself with a scraping sigh along the board. “Is anyone moving it? Rick, are you moving it?”

“No, I’m not moving it! Now shut up!” The deformed heart shaped piece advances slowly towards the left of the board before coming to a rest. B. My heart is pounding in my ears, filling the silence between us all as the planchette resumes its movement. A. Another drag, quicker this time. B. One last scrape. Y. 

“Baby?” Y/N whispers.

“Damn. Baby? Like the baby, like the one in the walls?” Angelo hisses.

“Are we talking to Emily Banes?” I ask, ignoring both Angelo and Y/N. The planchette moves swiftly across the board. My eyes widen, startled at how quickly it responded. It barely stops at each letter before jolting to the next one. D.E.A.T.H.

“It’s not even answering the damn questions!” Balz exclaims. The planchette hasn’t stopped moving as it spells out another word. D.E.C.A.Y.

The puck whips wildly as it spells, possessed by an unseen force. My fingers tingle as my arm jolts to accommodate the movements of the piece. S.H.I.F.T. 

“Ricky, I don’t like this. I- I don’t feel good,” Y/N pants out next to me. 3. I turn my head to look at her. Fuck. Her face is flushed and strained, her head bobbing slightly as her eyelashes flutter. P.D.Q.L.Q. At this point it’s spewing letters faster than we can register. W.K.H.K.R.X.V.H.

“I’m calling it. We’re done.” I say shortly.

“Dude, we’ve only been doing this for like 5 minutes,” Angelo argues.

“I don’t fucking care, we’re done!” I shout across the board. “Circle the board three times and say goodbye.” But the second we try to move the planchette it plants itself in the center of the board. “What the fuck?” I push as hard as I can with my two fingers. The flames are flickering like flags in a hurricane, and the top point blows out and another creak sounds from behind us. I smack everyone’s hand off the planchette before curling my fingers around it and ripping it from the board. I stand up, hurling it across the room with a shout. It clatters into the wall before ricocheting and skidding across the floor. Momentary silence. Perplexed breathing huffing into the empty space. 

“Now what?” Balz hesitantly asks. I look around at everyone, silently questioning. 

“What if we explore the rest of the house?” Angelo proposes. I look at Y/N, raising my eyebrow slightly. The color has returned to her face, but she looks unsettled. 

“Sure, might as well,” she shrugs her shoulders. Balz and Angelo move to blow out the rest of the candles, gathering up the Ouija board. I turn to her as they walk out of earshot.

“Are you sure? We don’t have to,” I don’t want her to feel pressured into doing this, but curiosity is sprouting steadily in me. 

“Yeah I’ll be fine,” she gives a small half smile, but her eyes look uneasy. I nod warily, walking to the backpack to pack up the rest of the supplies. We decide to leave the candles where they are to cool off.

“What if we split up?” Balz suggests, side eyeing Angelo with a glimmer in his eyes that I don’t really like. 

“Yeah, I’ll go with Balz, you two go upstairs and look around,” Angelo replies, grinning evilly. Figures. 

“Sure, works for me. Everyone meet back at the candles in 30 minutes?” Everyone agrees, and I pull two flashlights out of the backpack. Angelo and Balz click their lights on and start walking towards the back of the house, down the corridor towards the kitchen, leaving me alone with Y/N. I hand a flashlight to her and tilt my head towards the staircase. “Let’s go.”

We make our way to the musty set of stairs together, the wood damp with rot. I take the lead in case any of the stairs give out. The planks creak and moan with every step of our feet on the curled carpet. When we reach the top I look out over the banister, pointing my flashlight down into the room and I sense Y/N step beside me as she peers down past my shoulder. 

“Jesus, that’d be a nasty fall,” she mutters, “Shall we?” She sweeps her flashlight dramatically over to the end of the hallway.

My mouth twitches up in a half smile. “We shall,” I respond just as dramatically. We laugh, making our way to the last door of the hallway. I nudge it open with the end of my flashlight, coughing at the unsettled dust. It’s a bedroom. A metal framed bed sits in the left corner, opposite from a closet with sliding wooden doors. I walk over to the bed, inspecting the stained mattress that lays upon it. Crouching down, I direct my beam of light under the bed. I wrinkle my nose at the empty beer cans and stand up. 

“Hey, Rick? Can I ask you something?” I turn towards where Y/N is inspecting the dirty, steel framed window. 

“Yeah, sure. What’s up?”

“Why’d you guys invite me?” I pause.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean this kind of seems like a guy’s trip sort of thing, so why was I invited?” I bite my lip, toying with the ring as I try to think of what to say. I sigh, folding my arms and averting my eyes, a heavy knot forming in my stomach. 

“Balz and Angelo think I have this… I dunno, a thing for you or something. So I think they invited you to try and get us to spend time together,” I mumble quickly, toying with the sleeve of my hoodie.

“A ‘thing’? What, like a crush?” 

I can feel the heat rushing to my cheeks as I stammer out a response. “I guess? I dunno, it was their idea.” 

“Do you have a crush on me?” She takes a few steps towards me and I can feel the humiliation burning me alive. “Do you like me like that?”

I lift my eyes to look at her fully, expecting disgust written all over. However, she looks curious with a glimmer of hope in her eyes. I search her face before giving a small answering nod, nerves eating away at my stomach. Before I can say anything else she grasps the front of my sweater, crashing our lips together in a messy kiss. I inhale sharply before closing my eyes and leaning into her. My heart swells and beats like it’s trying to escape my chest and I bring one hand up to cup the back of her neck as the other snakes around her waist, pulling her into me. She tastes heavenly. She tilts her head, deepening the kiss as our lips move against each other softly. Finally, we break apart, gasping for air. 

“I like you too,” she whispers. I break into a smile, huffing out a breathless laugh before pulling her back into me. I kiss her passionately, groaning at the soft noises she makes against my lips. I brush my tongue against her bottom lip, pushing it into her mouth when she parts them. She gasps and threads her fingers into my hair, tugging softly. I groan, squeezing her hip as I lick into her mouth and work my tongue against her own. 

I stumble us both backwards until my calves hit the bed and I sit down, tugging her down beside me. Not caring about how filthy the mattress is, I wrap my arms around her again, dipping my head down to kiss and suck her neck. I caress just below her jaw, sucking and gnawing at the tender skin, reveling in the way she tilts her head back. I pull away, grinning, and in the moonlight streaking through the window I can see the forming mark. I rest my forehead against her own, massaging her cheek with my thumb. “Be mine? Please?” 

She pecks my lips and I can feel her smile into the kiss. “Of course,” she chuckles lightly. I smile, pressing one last kiss to her cheek and sighing before checking my watch.

“Shit, it’s been almost half an hour we should get downstairs,” I clamber off the bed, grabbing my discarded flashlight. I take Y/N’s hand and lead her out the door when we hear a bloodcurdling scream. Balz. I freeze, squeezing her hand, and peer around the corner, praying to god that this was some sick prank he was pulling. Peering out I see a man, thin and tall dragging Balz by his ankle into the living room. There’s a dark trail following beneath his body and it’s then that I register the knife. Adrenaline shocks through me and runs my blood cold. I eye the front door gauging how fast we could get there. My head snaps back down to see the man on all fours, drooling, and scrambling for the staircase, Balz groaning on the floor long forgotten as he clambers right towards us. His hand hits the bottom step and I backpedal as fast I can, yanking a terrified Y/N with me back into the bedroom, making a beeline for the closet.

I slide the wooden door closed as quietly as I can. Circling one hand around Y/N’s mouth, and the other around her waist, I back us up into the closet as far as we can go. Moonlight bleeds in through the wooden slats and spills onto the floor before us. I can feel her hyperventilating against my palm and a lone tear drips onto my wrist. Without saying a word I turn her around and pull her into my chest, stroking her hair as I shush her gently. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry you got dragged into this. Baby, I need you to calm down, or he’ll hear us,” I whisper shakily into her temple. I try to remain calm for her sake, but I’m sure she can feel my heartbeat rapidly pounding in my chest. I can feel her near silent tears staining my neck as she bites down on my hoodie to muffle her breathing. I lower us down to a crouch, minimizing our appearance. Y/N clings to me harder, shaking, eyes shut tight against my neck. I keep one hand on the back of her head for comfort and bring the other to the pocket of my jeans, drawing out my pocket knife. I flip it open slowly, looking down to adjust my stance.

My heart drops and my breathing stutters to a halt. The moonlight is gone. My gaze trails up to see a bony figure, staring through the slats of the closed door. My grip tightens on Y/N’s head and I press her further into my neck. She tenses, holding her breath with me. A croaking, throaty chuckle rises into existence.

The motherfucker is laughing on the other side of the door. Deranged. That’s the only way to describe this corpse of a man. The laughing melds into a gurgling cough, the fit ending in a deep, guttural groan. “I know you took my baby,” he sing-songs in a hoarse moan. His gaze is at the wrong angle to be looking at us. He’s talking to the goddamn door itself. “You put him in the walls.” He giggles before giving a wet sniff. He trails his wet knife across the slats like a child playing a xylophone. A drop of blood oozes off the knife and in between the slats of the wood. Balz’s blood. It drops off the grain and dribbles next to my foot with a soft patter. I jerk my leg towards my body and stare at the crimson droplet in horror. 

I snap my gaze back up in time to see the man slam his head into the doorframe, the force of it rattling the sliding doors. “I KNOW YOU TOOK MY BABY, GIVE ME BACK MY BABY,” he bellows, repeating each phrase with every bash of his head. Y/N jumps, gripping the back of my jacket so hard I think it might tear. Through the slats I can just make out the outline of a syringe sticking out from the crook in his arm. He cracks his skull against the wall once more before stumbling across the room to the window with a low groan. “Why’d you take my baby?” he sobs, before smashing his head through the glass with a shriek. 

Now that he’s away from the door I jump up, bringing Y/N with me. She’s trembling, her eyes red from tears. “Ok, on the count of three I’m going to open the door, and we’re going to run like hell to the front door, got it?” Another crash followed by an unearthly howl and glass shards tinkling to the floor. She shakes her head frantically, eyes wide.

“No, no, no, no, no. He’s right there he’ll get us-”

“Hey, it’s ok I’ve got you, I promise,” I grasp her shoulders and plant a quick kiss to her forehead, sliding my hand down to clutch hers, the other one gripping my knife in front of me. “One… two… three!” I slide open the door and hurdle out of it, Y/N right behind me. I fling my arm out to turn the corner out of the room, when I’m suddenly wrenched backwards, Y/N’s hand leaving mine as I stumble. The force of it all sends the knife flying out of my hand and into the hallway. I whip around to see Y/N on the floor, the man gripping her by her hair. She cries out, sending elbows and fists backwards as she tries to regain her footing, but the man is just out of her reach.

“Get the fuck off her!” I shout, diving at the man. He yells, letting go of her to claw at me. I punch at his face blindly, landing any hit I can. “Y/N, go find Angelo!” 

“What about you?” 

“Go!” The word ends with a wheeze as a hit to the stomach knocks the wind out of me and I slump to the floor. The man starts after Y/N again and I scramble up, tackling him to the ground just outside the door. I look over to see her reaching the staircase before I’m hoisted up roughly by my arm. Up close, the man is more rancid than I could have previously thought. There are missing patches of hair, replaced by gummy scabs; his pupils are extremely dilated, the surrounding whites cracked with streaks of red. His lips are chapped and bleeding and his sallow face has numerous cuts from the glass he smashed himself through, the blood smeared across his puckered face. 

He slams me into the wall and I gasp as my head rebounds off of it. He chuckles leaning in close to me and I can smell his putrid breath. He mumbles croaky nonsense into my face and I bring my knee up to his groin. He lets go of me with a grunt and I punch him again as he stumbles back towards the railing. I heave against him with a final shove and his foot slips, catching the empty air between the disconnected pieces of mangled iron. He tumbles backward over the edge and I feel myself lurch forward. He’s caught my wrist.

My heart falls to my stomach as my feet leave the ground. I lock eyes with the man as an iron bar catches him, sliding through his spine and out his stomach with a gurgling choke. But I don’t stop. I pass the iron bars and freefall over the banister and past the mouth that caught the man in its teeth. For a moment it’s peaceful. Until my head cracks against the floor and my entire body goes numb. My vision blurs and I can just barely see the man skewered above me, hanging like a repulsive, mounted beast. Like Emily. 

I hear Y/N scream my name through the fuzzy haze before everything fades and I’m falling once again into darkness. 

***

Beep

Beep

I slowly wake to the feel of sheets over me, a steady light beating down behind my eyelids. My head feels like it’s going to explode. I blink my eyes open, shutting them again quickly at the burning of the sterile white lights. I try again, blinking and squinting as my surroundings slowly come into focus. I could hear the steady beeping of machines, each short sound stabbing my skull like a knife. There’s a warm weight on my hand, and I anchor myself to it. I turn my head slowly, gasping sharply at the splitting pain. My whole body aches, I feel like I can’t move.

I pant from the effort it takes to turn my head, tilting my eyes down and I see her. Y/N. Her hand is wrapped around mine, her head resting on our conjoined hands. Her hair cascades down on the hospital bed, her breath fanning gently across my fingers. She doesn’t look hurt and my chest heaves a collapsing sigh in relief. I attempt to curl my fingers around her hand, but pain shoots through my arm the second I try to move it. I hiss in pain, dissolving into a coughing fit that feels like it’s going to tear me open. Y/N snaps her head up, standing to lean over me. The light blurs around her, giving an angelic effect I wish I could admire more, but the strain in my eyes prevents me. 

“Hey,” she says softly. Her voice sounds tired, trembling slightly. “How… how are you feeling?”

“I feel like shit,” I rasp. She brushes a piece of hair back from my face.

“Yeah, falling from a balcony will do that for you,” she chuckles nervously. “You’ve been in and out of consciousness for a while now. Um, they said you have a couple fractured ribs, most likely a concussion, and a hell of a lot of bruising. They gave you an IV and some pain meds,” she gestures to the needle sticking in my hand. She takes a shaky breath and her voice breaks as she talks. “Scared the fuck out of me, Ricky.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, tears starting to well in the corners of my eyes. I’m exhausted; mentally, physically, emotionally. I just want to go home. Y/N laughs shortly, sniffing wetly as she wipes the tears that fell from her own eyes, before brushing away the one that fell down my cheek.

“Don’t apologize, you saved my life.”

I gasp a stuttering breath as my eyes widen, muscles tensing. “Balz- oh my god what-”

“He’s ok. He’ll be ok.” She interrupts, placing a hand out to steady me. “He had to have surgery, so he’s recovering in a different room. Angelo’s alright too. I found him barely conscious and dazed in the kitchen before you fell. He’s a little beat up but there’s no sign of a concussion or other injury. He’s in the waiting room right now.” I slump back against the pillow, relieved once again. I take a deep breath and try not to think too hard about everything. 

“Do you… need anything?” She asks quietly. My gaze darts to her lips before resettling on her eyes.

“Kiss me. Please,” I whisper desperately. “I just-” She cuts me off by softly pressing her lips to mine. I close my eyes and melt into her. Her cheeks are still wet from her tears and I wish I could move my arms enough to wipe them away. She squeezes my hand before pulling away just a bit, her lips brushing mine as she speaks.

“You can rest now, it’s ok. We’re all ok.” She kisses my cheek and sits back down in the chair she had pulled next to my bed. I can feel my eyes drifting and dozing as she takes my hand again, kissing each finger as I drift back to sleep. I squeeze her hand the best I can, knowing she’ll be here when I wake up.

Tag list: @rumoured-whispers @thewarmisice @black-damask-1999 @skulliecadaver-blog @bloody-delusion-expert

[sparklinpixiedust]

Coffee

A/N: charmcaster x ken, basically how they met. Not proof read, sorry for any grammatical errors.

-----------------------------------------------

" WHY...WON'T ....YOU...WORK ...YOU ...LITTLE" The silver haired witch screamed as she repeatedly kicked the coffee machine at the end of the long hallway.

All she wanted was a nice cup of joe before heading up to her room to start grading the papers her half- brained students had turned in. Unfortunately fate had other plans for her , plans that frustrated her to no end.

Not to mention Freidkin's strict rules on the use of magic on the coffee machine, not after the 'incident' last semester , she couldn't even use a spell to fix whatever on earth was wrong with the appliance.

"uh excuse me , um would you like some help?"

"Well unless you're some coffee machine fixing genius, no thank you!" she snapped , still fixated on the metallic object.

Why did this place have only one of these though? It makes no sense!

" No but I am a major in mechanical engineering, I guess I could have a look " the man voiced again, hoping he could be of some help.

Charmcaster turned to look at the voice this time, only to come face to face with the greenest eyes she'd ever seen. He stood there leaning against a pillar with his hands in is navy blue jeans, his black t shirt making his deep red hair look bright.

Her breath got caught in her throat , the butterflies swarmed in her stomach as she tried to get the words out.

" well then, fine I guess, take a whirl at it red" she said finally, rolling her eyes for an added 'whatever' effect, trying to play it cool. The boy didn't need to know he had affected her now did he.

He gave her a small smile as he walked past her to the machine, pulling it forward and inspecting the mechanics of it.

" I didnt know this place offered a course in engineering" she began , trying to make small talk to pass the time. And also to get to know him, for she was sure she hadn't seen him around before. If she had, she definitely would've remembered.

" Actually I don't go here, but my little sister does. Just here today to drop off some things for her."

" oh I see"

She couldn't feel any mana on him, he was a human through and through. There were quite a few non magic humans here studying history and other magic related degrees that didn't require the actual use of mana, perhaps his sister was one of them.

She went silent for a bit , trying to come up with something to say. It dawned on her that for the first time , she had nothing. She's had crushes before, dated a little bit too. However it seemed like for the first time someone had actually made her mind go blank.

"what about you , do you go here?" he asked shattering the peircing silence.

" Not really, I'm actually a professor here, since the last 6 months"

The redhead looked at her wide eyed, " you're a professor? No way. Wow you must be really smart to have become a college professor at such a young age"

She felt her cheeks redden. She was pretty skilled for someone her age , though this was the first time anyone had ever really told her that. It felt.... nice.

" So why'd you want to become a professor?" he continued on as he crouched down to better look at the wirings.

She leaned back on the stone pillar, recalling what led her to do this job.

" Well I was ruler of this place, it's called Ledgerdomain, it's..It's this place of magic. Anyway I was bored and on my occasional trips to earth I came across an opening for the position. So I thought I'd give it a try. "

And so far the job despite it's shortcomings , wasn't half bad. She would even go as far to say she enjoyed it, especially when it came to passive aggressively torturing her favorite little redhead. She smiled thinking back to when she handed over an A- on her end of semester last year, watching her face fall.

He got up from his position and turned to her, " So you're basically a queen too? Man you're so cool."

She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as she smiled at him, " yeah I guess I am"

Now it was time for the butterflies in his stomach to take flight.

" so um ," He said sheepishly as he ran his fingers through his hair , " the machine's fuse isn't working right."

Technically the fuse was fine, the machine just needed a quick reboot. He knew that, she didn't need to.

" Oh I see. I was really looking forward to that coffee though, I have a long day ahead of me of grading papers. "

The boy's eyes lit up , a thought occurring through his head.

" hey you know there's a cafe off campus that sells amazing coffee. it's only a 15 minute drive from here if you're interested" He asked, secretly hoping she'd say yes.

The witch smiled. " I'd love that "

The boy gleamed, " after you m'lady"

She giggled as she began to walk with him. Was this sort of a date? They both hoped it was.

" it's Ken by the way " he said.

" I'm Hope"

--------------------------------------------------

[i-want-all-the-cookies]

Hey, it's me, crawling back after being gone for a while 🥸. Unfortunately I've had to deal with a series of unfortunate events in my life. One of which was losing my notes (AGAIN) 😭. Soo in the attempt to try and get back into the swing of things, I'm gonna post some of my story wip ideas in hopes that it will motivate me enough to actually start writing again.

Note: I'm not including my Jimmy, Forrest, or Philip fics as those have already been started. This is just for wips of fics I only have minimal notes on right now.

Wolf fic

Wolf/Reader or OC

Found friends, unlikely friendship, wrong number, catching feelings for a stranger, dealing with grief

Summary: You're left with an empty hole in your soul after the loss of a great friend. A void that you attempt to fill as you reach out to find some kind of closure. Basically, you wrong dial/text Wolf. He humors you at first with responding, since he's bored and finds your messages entertaining enough to pass the time. But somewhere along the line feelings start to develop, even though he's never even seen your face. Most of this story takes place over messages and almost encounters.

Wolf fated mates fic

Wolf/OC or reader

Enemies-lovers, rivals-lovers, semi forced proximity (both are union members having to deal with union shi), fated mates au, no shifting, mate reveal at age 18, you know before he does, trying to be the bigger person is HARD

Summary of sorts: A member of the union under Yeo-Il. Think Donald's a huge ass but the pay can't be beat, even when having to deal with other union members like Wolf. Especially Wolf. Who you can't seem to get along with from the very first encounter. You both are basically water and oil having to coexist in the same space. But then you turn 18 a couple months before he does, and realize that destiny has played you for a fool, by making Wolf your fated mate. So now you're left trying to figure out what to do next.

Notes: was reading waay to many werewolf stories during the creation of this story idea 🙃

Donald fic

Donald/OC or reader

Oppites attract, aged up characters, both already in the workforce, forced proximity due to work, one night stand not staying a one night stand, very low spice (for now anyway), mostly just sexual tension, expanding on one of my oneshots

Summary-ish: A crazy night out with friends leads to an unexpected one night stand with a dangerous but handsome looking stranger. You check it off as a very delightful YOLO experience, never expecting to meet "what's his name" again. Until you find yourself sitting in a conference room, while your boss introduces the new business partner your company is doing a collaboration with. And if that wasn't awkward enough, you get voted to be the employee to spearhead the details of this new business merger.

Notes: this came about when I mentioned to someone about how cute it would be if Donald developed feelings for someone like the character in my karaoke crackfic. A very opposites attract that just happens to work despite their differences. Only for them to shot that idea down and state he would be better off with someone like one of their own OC's, who's more like him 😐🤨😮‍💨

Welp, challenge accepted I guess.

Jake 7 minutes in heaven fic

Jake/OC or reader

Quiet and reserved character meets popular and outgoing character, opposites attract, 7 minutes of heaven game, forced proximity due to game, aged up characters, college au, college frat party, fish out of water

Summary: You get dragged to some frat party by your more outgoing and social bestie, only to be left alone while they make out with some rando. While trying to blend in and look like you belong you end up getting paired up for a round of 7 minutes in heaven, and before you can even begin to protest, you end up locked in a closet with Jake Ji.

Notes: Haven't decided how spicy I want to make this one. Should I make it more suggestive in nature?  Or should I crank the spice level all the way up 🌶🔥😈

Alright. That's it. Now to wait for some motivation vibes to come and find me.

Also, completely unrelated, but is it just me or have the porn bots uped their game while I've been m.i.a? Like not only are they "following" but now they're also liking posts? And not even locking their accounts, so when you click on the profiles you get an eyeful of "activity"! Like wut in the... left me completely shooketh.

[campmurderparty]

vikram & charlotte.

Vikram didn’t find charlotte. Worried sick, he had to eventually stop his searching when he reconciled with himself that he couldn’t catch her scent or hear her anymore. He had to assume she made it back home, just for his own sanity. Just so he could return to the meadow where the rest of the pack were sleeping after finishing the moon-forced hunt.

Giving up on finding charlotte, he turned around and jogged back to where he knew the pack would be. Quietly, though he knew there wasn’t such a thing as quiet around his fellow werewolves, he lowered himself to the ground near a tree stump and tried to even his breathing so he’d eventually fall asleep, like all wolves did after shifting.

When he awoke several hours later, morning sun replacing the moon, vikram rose from the ground and walked over to the table where his packmates were cleaning themselves off with wetwipes. No one paid attention to him, no one mentioned the scent of a human on the wind, no one called him out for allowing a human to witness their hunt. They mostly ignored vikram, except for audrina and her awful smirk. Even when he finished wiping himself of blood and dirt, just enough to pass as a human and not a werewolf that killed woodland creatures all night, and then redressed, he could still feel audrina staring him down.

Fast-forward…

Finally returning to their home, vikram sat in his corolla for a good hour before making himself get out and go inside. He didn’t know what to say, how to explain it all to charlotte. He was so scared, and then sickened by how scared he was. Audrina kilgore held not only his fate in her hands, but charlotte’s.

When he eventually made it to their bedroom, he heard the shower running. He debated joining her, but decided against it. Maybe she didn’t want to see him. Maybe she was disgusted by what he did under the light of the full moon. Instead, vikram flopped backwards on the bed.

Just as he was about to drift off to sleep again, feeling even more exhausted now compared to how tired he generally was after a shift, charlotte got out of the shower. He scooted up the bed until he was laying against the headboard, watching as she moved about the room in only a towel. On a normal day, he’d tell her to forget getting dressed and grab her wrist to pull her into bed with him. He wished it was a normal day. He saw her own exhaustion on her face, the tension in her shoulders. He wished he wasn’t the cause of it.

Vikram sat still when charlotte made her way to their bed. Her questions weren’t unexpected, but he dreaded hearing them anyway. “Don’t worry about me.” he whispered, desperate to hold her hand but afraid to reach out. “Audrina isn’t trustworthy, but I don't really have a choice. I think she values blackmail more than snitching, so basically she has me by the balls until she decides what to do with us.” vikram sighed, clenching his jaw. Even if audrina was horrible, it might’ve worked out better for them in the long run that it was her to catch them instead of some other packmate—some wolves were rule followers and no doubt would have alerted their alpha immediately.

He didn’t want to answer her last question, but he knew that he had to. Even if audrina was willing to keep a secret for a short while, they weren’t safe for forever. “You’ve gotta understand, there’s a lot of bullshit rules in our world. Our kind have been around for a very long time—lots of wolves are born that way, they’re called natural wolves, and then the ones like me are turned wolves. We have to keep our existence on the downlow for our own safety, so that usually means not having relationships with humans… obviously I didn't adhere to that one. So, when a human finds out about our kind, it’s really important that the secret doesn’t get out.” vikram swallowed dryly, looking down at his dirtied fingernails. “The protocol for human discovery, especially seeing us on a night like last night, is to either turn you into one of us or kill you, charlotte.”

[angry-geese]

For Myself

Sukuna x Reader

Warnings: nsfw mention. mention of violence, blood, injury, and cannibalism. implied murder. starts off kind of dark but gets fluffier towards the end. gn!reader.

obligatory warning for my poor editing skills. if theres any egregious errors i'll get to them when i get home from work

Summary: some fluff where Sukuna comforts the reader while they're sick

Word Count: 2.4k

He's certain you would be more comfortable in his lap than on the floor. Even as he beckons you to sit, you refuse, turning your gaze away. You adjust your position to a more comfortable spot on your knees. The floor is hard and cold, but you don't have much longer to wait anyway. Sukuna has grown bored of the man standing in front of him. A peace offering, in exchange for not razing their village. A young woman, brought here against her own will. Her life to replace yours. It's nothing Sukuna wants, nor can he make use of her. She’s no sorcerer, likely no good in a fight, and too frail to be worth eating.

Worst of all, it insults you.

An insult to you, is an insult to Sukuna himself.

The man was only delaying the inevitable. Humans have a habit of doing that. They’re resilient, like cockroaches. You can squash, poison, trap, or drop a nuke on as many as you want to, but they’ll always come back.

He planned on killing him from the moment he stepped foot in the door.

And when he kills him, he makes sure to have the woman watch. She lays curled at your feet as you regard them both with cold eyes. Not a scream passes her lips. She’s either frozen with fear, or knows that moving is the worst thing she can do.

She begs for her life.

Sukuna leaves it up to you to decide.

It was an insult to you, after all. In a past life you could see yourself letting her go. There's many things in life you used to do that are no longer habits of yours. You were in her shoes years ago. Time has hardened you, made you cruel. If a past version of you could look at you now, you don't know if you’d recognize yourself. Not all change is bad. People are meant to change, and they’re going to do so.

You give her a minute to start running. After that, it's up to Sukuna with what he wants to do with her.

She takes the opportunity, thinking she has a chance to survive, and flees. The guards and servants let her. Your word is second to Sukuna’s. The only person who could overturn an order put in place by you is Sukuna himself. He usually doesn't. The resulting chaos from anything you do is good entertainment. And he has all the time in the world. Being immortal leads to a lot of boredom.

Sukuna would hunt her down before she could escape the estate.

Nobody got away from him. Not even you. Nowadays you’re much less serious about leaving but you still threaten it if he dares piss you off.

He'd never let you go. You know that. Try as you will, you're never getting free.

Not that you have anything to go back to. And you're rather comfortable here. Comfortable may be a bit of a stretch, but you're housed, fed, and protected. The basic human needs are taken care of. Sukuna cares about you in his own, twisted way. You may have first been just a plaything to keep his stomach full and his balls empty—a toy to be discarded after a day or two—but you've earned a place by his side. He wakes up next to you, he goes to sleep next to you. He's grown used to having you around. And you to him.

You're just as much his, as he is yours.

Everything about the man is selfish, and all-consuming. But when he is with you, he finds himself giving for the first time in his life.

He gets a servant to draw him a bath. He has the decency to scrub the blood off before finding you, and asking you to join him. His bloodied kimono is replaced with a clean one. It's black, the sleeves are wide enough to accommodate his four arms. Blood doesn't bother you, but he doesn't want to track it all over his house.

Something is wrong.

He doesn't remember you getting hurt, but you’re acting like you’re injured. He thinks back to this morning, how he had to drag you out of bed. How sluggish you acted.

Worry creases itself between his eyebrows.

Your mortality was something he knew of, but never gave much thought. There was no need to. The mortality of others was something he didn't care about. You weren't supposed to be kept long. You were merely a sacrifice, meant to appease Sukuna, and in turn he wouldn't raze your village. While young, and pretty, not good enough to save your people. He planned on fucking you, burning your village to the ground, then eating you. Not necessarily in that order, but that was the plan.

He's taken everything from you. Your home, your life, your family. Even as you were forced to face your fate, you never gave in, never lost your bite. You defied him and lived. You had a malicious streak in you. You were never as sweet and as innocent as the people of your village first played you up to be. Years later you still put up the same fight. It's a constant back and forth between you two.

You’d never be able to hurt him. As much as you'd scratch and bite, you'd never so much as draw blood. Harming the King of Curses was not an easy task.

His 'love' was much more material at first. As you got settled down, survived more than a week, gifts appeared. Jeweled hair pins and beautiful, expensive kimonos appeared. All made just for you. He'd never admit to being behind it. You were not complacent, but you were comfortable. You were his spoiled pet. That didn't stop you from clawing at his eyes whenever he picked you up when you didn't want to be touched. Being spoiled didn't make you nice.

None of his pets have lasted quite as long as you have. At least eight times the trees of his estate have shriveled and turned brown in winter, and the ground has hardened with frost. At least eight times they've bloomed and have had the life of spring breathed back into them, and the ground has thawed and turned muddy. You just did what you had to in order to survive. You've more than just survived. Some would say you’ve thrived. You would beg to differ. If you were the begging type.

He still views you as a pet. You’re human after all. Though sometimes it feels like you’re becoming more curse than human. Being viewed as an equal to him is impossible, but he values you. You're not something that can easily be replaced.

His hand touches your shoulder from behind. You don't flinch. You used to flinch. Then you started swinging. You're never able to hurt him. You're strong, but not that strong.

"She was far too frail to eat," you say, "I assumed you didn't want to keep her for that."

You don't eat human meat. Or try not to. Early on in your stay, before you knew better… It wasn't pork. Uraume was a wonderful cook, but not for anything you ate. Personally it's not your thing. Non-human meat is hard to come by around here, so you’ve stopped eating the stuff altogether. If you wanted it, Sukuna would make a servant get it for you, but you are content without it.

"You made the right call." He says. You always do.

He slips beside you, watching as you remove the intricate pins from your hair. You always loved your hair. Even at your darkest moment you took great care of it. It was a source of pride for you.

A wave of nausea rolls over you. Sweat beads in your hairline, rolling down your back, under the thin fabric of your—his—robe. You have little need for clothes. It doesn't get that cold here. Sukuna tears them off you anyway. Covering yourself up isn't necessary, but you do it out of modesty, and a sense of normalcy. You protest as he pulls at the fastenings of your robe, the flimsy fabric pooling at your feet. You have no plans on getting wet, you’d much rather go to bed. You’re tired, and you don't want to be bothered.

The tub is large enough to fit several of you. You guess it's fitting. The man is huge. He settles into the water behind you, pulling you to his chest. Try as you will, you’re not going to be able to struggle out of his grip. You’re too tired to put up much of a fight, though you do complain.

One of his sets of arms wraps around you, effectively trapping you in place. The other pulls a washcloth from the side of the tub, into the water with you. As much as you hate to admit it, the warm water feels nice against your sore muscles.

Sukuna is not a sentimental man. But with the way his hands trace across your skin, soft, lovingly, like he’s reading a book of braille, makes you think otherwise. He doesn't leer at the curves of your body like he normally does. His eyes scan across your body, looking for any sign of injury.

When he deems you clean enough, and your skin has turned a nice shade of pink from the hot water, he lets you go. You're the first to get out, drying yourself off. You never realized how cold the room was before.

He hauls you into his arms. You do little to protest, which worries him.

The King of Curses has no need for sleep. The bed mostly serves for asthetic purposes, though he's not opposed to fucking you across any flat surface, you seem to favor softer ones.

Much like the tub, his bed is large enough to fit several of you. You feel dwarfed by its size. The man is huge, he needs a bed to fit. You could sprawl out as wide as possible and never have any of your limbs hanging over the sides.

He follows you, silent.

He can't recall ever letting any of his pets share his bed before. Some have tried. Tried. He can't recall any of them surviving as long as you have, either. He finds himself irritated at the thought of anything bad ever happening to you.

He doesn't join you in bed.

He doesn't need sleep the same way humans do. He can, but if he were to decide not to, it would bring no harm to him. He used to never dream. It was something he did, back when he was human, but that time has long passed. But whenever he dreamed, he’d wake up next to you. Experiences like that made him realize just why humans like to sleep so much. Before he never woke up rested; he was never tired in the first place.

You shove the covers aside and crawl underneath. They smell like him. He snubs out the candle burning on the side table with his index finger and thumb. Though it's dark, there’s enough light in the room to make out his much-larger form.

You shiver, although sweat forms along your skin in a thin sheen. Sukuna knows it's not cold. He sits on the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight. The back of his hand presses to your forehead. You’re burning up.

You were warm before, but he thought it was because of the bath. He’s not really sure what to do. It's rare moments like these that he's forced to face your mortality. He knows you're fragile—compared to him—but he can't bear the thought of something bad happening to you.

One of his large hands moves to cup your cheek. It's just as warm as your forehead. The pad of his thumb runs across your cheekbone.

"Stay with me." You say. You stretch your arms out towards him, making grabbing motions with your hands.

You’re not one to beg. Even when faced with death, you look it straight in the eyes. Call it bravery, or lack of self preservation. He admired that about you. You ignored your mortality because it did not matter to you.

“What's the matter, pet?”

“I don't feel too good.” You say.

Though he doesn't say it, he can tell.

“I’ll get Uraume-”

“No,” your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him back towards your chest, “no. I’m okay.”

He settles down beside you in bed, on top of the covers. When he opens his arms, you go right into them. He makes sure to keep the blankets tucked around you. Sukuna runs warm naturally. You huddle close to him, trying to steal his warmth. Though your face feels abnormally warm, you shiver. His much larger body lays partially on top of yours, his head resting on your chest, ear pressed to your skin. He can hear your heartbeat. Steady, and alive. Something low in your chest rattles when you breathe.

He should get a servant to bring you water, or some tea. It occurs to him how little he knows about the mundane things humans do to make themselves feel better. Not that he ever needed to care. In all the years you’ve been by his side, he’s never seen anything like this happen. He can't decide, and instead calls for both. If you need medicine, he’ll get that too, but you don't seem to be at that point. Uraume knows more about humans than he does. He’s no doctor, but he’ll work. If he asks you, you’ll just say you’re fine.

He holds the cup up to you, beckoning you to drink. The glass is cold against your lips. Even as your hands wrap around it, he doesn't let it go. He sets the empty glass on the side table with a soft thunk.

His large hand smoothes over your head, brushing your hair out of your eyes. His nails feel nice against your scalp. Nothing about the man is soft, but when he’s left alone with you, moments like this are bound to happen. You allow yourself to be pet. The heat, combined with the weight of his body, threatens to lull you off to sleep. The ache in your joints keeps you from doing so.

When he kisses you, you taste like a curse.

[rek1s-headband]

Oh oh! Can we get some hedcanons about cherry adopting a girl who is around miya's age. Like how close would they be and how would others feel about her being his daughter now. Bonus points if uncel Joe and little missy mess with daddy blossom

Xoxo love your work so far, keep it up💙

➯ A/N: This was such an amazing request, I had so much fun writing it! Hope you enjoy :)

Also, i started watching Your Lie in April today, and its AMAZING! So much more than what I was expecting

➯ With a daughter

➯ Characters: Kaoru Sakurayashiki with a young daughter. Reki, Langa and co. are mentioned throughout!

➯ Warnings: none:)

Having a child had never crossed Kaoru’s mind before, but when Joe had teased him about how “you treat Carla better than you would a child!”, the idea kind of stuck with him. And so, he’d spent countless nights awake, wondering to himself if it was something he truly wanted?

He’d pass parks, seeing parents with spewing babies and toddlers throwing tantrums, wondering if he could actually put up with that? But as he passed the shops, he came across a mother and her daughter, who looked around 12. He watched them pass, a grin on the child’s face as she looked into her shopping bag, examining her haul for that day. And so it was settled

He wanted a baby girl he could spoil absolutely rotten

And the search for a child carried on, and this time instead of baby shops and websites, he was browsing the shelves of Claires and other tween clothing stores. It had only occurred to him over a bottle of wine with Joe, as they were discussing if Kaoru was truly ready for something like this. Instead of a crying baby or a messy toddler, he could simply adopt someone a bit older!

It made sense too. For a single parent, an older child seemed much more doable. Of course, he wouldn’t be alone. Joe was always telling him how he’d help out, yknow, if he actually went through with the damn thing.

Not to mention, the older you get, the more difficult it is to get adopted. Babies and young children will get adopted left right and centre, whereas the child he will take home will have been there for a while. Finally, they will have a place to call a home

He spent months trying to get the approval for adoption, and one fateful day he finally got the letter that yes he could go ahead and take one home. He was ecstatic, spending the next few days finding out the location of every orphanage around his area of Japan. He messaged every single one, asking when their next visiting day was

And so it was set: Kaoru would not rest until he had found his perfect little girl

He went through orphanage after orphanage, searching for someone he could call his own. However, none of the children were lighting that paternal flame inside him. It wasn’t their fault of course, they just didn’t click with him, staring at him any time he tried to talk to them. Visit after visit, he’d go to Joe’s, ready to tell him about his recent fail.

It wasn’t until Joe came up to him with a phone number, asking if he’d been to this particular orphanage yet. Apparently they had a few children aged 12 and up, and were available for visit that Saturday. And so there he was, packing a bag and getting ready to travel to the house. This time felt different, somehow. He could feel his palms sweat, as if he could sense he would take one of them home

When he finally made it to the house, he was a nervous wreck. The lady of the house let him in with a smile, telling him the children were in the backyard playing while she bounced a baby on her hip. Cherry winced as the baby gurgled at him, glad he opted for an older child

She led him outside, gesturing at the children who were sprinting around in the vast field, hiding behind trees and bushes. It was clear they were playing a game of hide and seek. He smiled as he scanned over them, but it quickly disappeared when he noticed one little girl sitting on the step, head in her lap while her shoulders gently shook with tears

He walked over to her, bending down with a soft smile. He didn’t know where this sudden calmness came from, but that was his last priority right now. A little gash sat on the girls knee, caked with blood as it trickled down her shin. He frowned, pulling out a tissue to gently wipe it. She jumped, wincing with shock from the fresh wave of pain, and surprise. Kaoru gently wiped at her knee once more before looking up at her to attempt a conversation

“Hello, is your knee alright?” She shook her head frantically, wiping a tear away from her face. A small breathy laugh escaped him as he watched the child stand, gesturing to her leg

“Nope, not at all. I think its broken, if you ask me. All cause of that stupid thing!” She threw her arm out, gesturing to a pink board Kaoru hadn’t noticed before. A skateboard.

That’s when Kaoru realised it: I want this one

Suddenly he felt a new sense of importance, like he had to make a good impression. He walked over to the board, tutting as he looked down at it. “This is what hurt you?” He looked at it with disdain as the little girl nodded her head violently. Kaoru could see how she hurt herself, the thing was massive, especially for someone her age. It looked around the size of a board he would use.

Grinning, he picked up the board. “Well, want to see something cool?” She watched in wonder as kaoru stood on it, pushing off and turning quickly, popping an ollie over a stray toy. The little girl jumped, throwing her arms up as she cheered Kaoru on. He finished with a flourish, coming back to stand beside her. “What did you think?” She was speechless, simply moving her hands, saying scattered “wows” and making various sound effects. Kaoru smiled, certain that he could teach her more.

When he realized visiting time was coming to a close, he proposed the idea to the girl, who’s name he had come to know was Lily: he’d come back next week, and he’d bring his board. He even promised to find her a smaller boar perfect for her to learn on, saying he knew a friend who could make her one. From there he would teach her the basics of skateboarding, even a couple of tricks once she got that down. She was delighted, bouncing up and down and declaring she couldn’t wait, all the energy of someone much younger than her. Kaoru found he couldn’t stop smiling himself either

He made his way back through the house, Lily skipping alongside him. He explained the plan to the Lady, that he would come back next week for another visit. Just as he was about to leave, he turned to the lady to request one final thing from her

“Make sure no one snatches her up from me while I’m gone, yeah?”

Needless to say a bottle of wine was opened at Joe’s that night in celebration of Lily, the potential daughter

And so the weeks turned into months, and Kaoru returned each week with his board and some sweets for her and the other children, teaching her everything she needed to know about skateboarding. After a month or so she could confidently ollie without bailing, and next time he visited she displayed it with delight, watching Kaoru’s face light up with pride.

She had taken a real liking to Kaoru, according to the Lady. She refused to pay any other visitors any notice, declaring they “simply weren’t Kaoru.” This is what finally made him realise that maybe it was time to ask if she’d like to live with him from now on, where she could practice with him every day.

When he asked her, Kaoru could’ve sworn he actually saw stars in her eyes. She simply lit up, throwing herself at Kaoru, tears streaming down her face as she shouted yes, of course she would. she wasn’t the only one crying, Kaoru could barely see from the tears in his own eyes, the lady dabbing at hers with a tissue

Once the paperwork was complete and Lily was his, he felt a weight had been taken off his shoulders. He had packed her a new change of clothes the day he went to collect her, bringing Joe along with him for emotional support. Lily came flying at him the second he got out of his car, wrinkling her nose at Joe

“You never told me you had a boyfriend, Kaoru” she stuck her tongue out at him from over his shoulder while they both tried to convince her that no, they weren’t a couple, before she ran upstairs to get changed. Joe turned to Kaoru, an almost offended look on his face

“Why were you so adamant that we weren’t together??” “I dont need her worrying she’s going home to a Gorrila” “HEY”

Once they all got home, they threw a little party at Joe’s who had closed a little early specially for it. Kaoru didn’t let her out of his sight, making sure she wasn’t uncomfortable with all the new people. Of course, it was only Joe, Shadow, Reki, Langa and Miya, all of whom she would meet eventually, but he still worried in case she got overwhelmed.

She made quick friends with Reki, who was ecstatic from the moment he realised she could skate. The two bonded over it, talking about tricks they’d learned, Reki shouting over at Kaoru because why hadn’t he taught him anything??

Miya was a bit standoffish at first, but when she saw the switch in his hand, the two were instantly bonding over who had better villagers in Animal Crossing, and who had passed more levels in Mario with three stars

As the months went on, Lily really settled into her new life in Okinawa, starting at school in Miyas class. The two were joined at the hip, Miya often coming home to Kaoru’s so they could practice together, or simply study and watch some movies. Reki constantly teased the shit out of the two, talking about how he heard “wedding bells”. This comment earned him a swift whack into the skull from Kaoru, warning him not to tease his little girl

Soon enough Kaoru was making her own skateboard with built-in Carla, who helped her skating improve insanely. As Kaoru said, she was definitely a chip off the old block. Langa and Reki would take her to the skate park with them, helping her land new tricks and would take videos of her to send to Kaoru

Shadow was like a chill uncle to her, bringing her flowers for her room and taking her out to get some clothes and ice cream. Joe was like an uncle too, but a much more untrustworthy one. Would he take her to the park, or would he take her to parts of downtown she definitely shouldn’t have been? Who knows, certainly not Kaoru...

Poor Kaoru can never get a minutes peace. Every second of the day she’s plotting something, waiting for him to let his guard down so she can pounce, scaring the shit out of him. When the others are around its 10x worse, all of them ganging up on him to pull pranks

As well as skateboarding, Kaoru tried to teach her how to do calligraphy. She ended up being awful, blotting the ink and smearing it with her hand. But hey, it was a fun art project that made it onto the fridge

At S, she was watched like a hawk. When Kaoru was competing,the others would be like her bodyguard, making sure no one got within 5 feet of her. She’d watch her dad with wonder, the look of awe never leaving her face since the first day she saw him skate. She can’t wait for the day she can compete, maybe even beating her own dad

The first time Lily called Kaoru “dad” was when he won a race, showing off some amazing skills and winning the insanely close match by a hair. He picked up his board, looking around for Lily. He saw her in the crowd, throwing her arms up and cheering “THATS MY DAD!! LOOK, RIGHT THERE, THATS MY DAD!” When she spotted him, a large grin spread across her face. “Nice job out there dad! You did amazing!! D’you think I can do that one day?”

Everyone was staring at her, she hadn’t even realised she had said anything out of the ordinary. Soon enough Kaoru was lunging at her, picking her up in a hug so she didn’t see the tears quickly forming on his face. With a smile he pulled away, his voice dripping with pride

“Of course you could. You’re my daughter, aren’t you?”

[inamindfarfaraway]

Danny Phantom fanfic that starts out as a seemingly innocuous, fluffy tale of Danny and Danielle having a day out, messing around and bantering like the siblings they are, fighting a villain together, etc., except things don’t quite add up: there’s no mention of Jazz, Sam or Tucker; Danny buys something that seems like it should definitely be outside his price range; the Fentons are spoken of only as nuisances of enemies and pathetic rival ghost fighters; Danny generally acts ever so slightly off and Danielle seems to be pretending she doesn’t notice and it doesn’t bother her, which bothers him in turn. And as they pass by Fenton Works on their way home, it’s revealed this is a universe where Vlad’s plot in "Kindred Spirits" worked.

This Danny is a clone with artificial memories of being Vlad’s son. He unnerves Danielle because she spent time with the original Danny and a) she can tell the difference and constantly has to remind himself he’s the ‘right’ one and b) her loyalty to Vlad, his abusive hold on her just barely too strong to break, allowed him to murder the original Danny in cold blood in front of her, leaving her understandably very traumatized.

Okay, now I seriously want this AU. Clone!Danny being Vlad’s golden child, put on a tight, restrictive pedestal with all his father’s expectations on his shoulders. Does he think he was always Vlad’s? That he, Jazz and Dani are Vlad and Maddie’s children, but Maddie left his poor father for that damn manipulative reprobate Jack Fenton, and unlike their lost cause ex-older sister, the younger two had the sense to choose the family they deserve? Are they sent away to an elite boarding school to keep them away from the ‘rabble’ (aka potential friends)? Danielle being the scapegoat, left alive after the perfect clone was created due to Danny’s attachment to her and her desperate need to prove her worth making her useful for unconditional service. I bet Vlad wouldn’t bother to cure her molecular instability under the guise of it simply not being possible, meaning she’s basically chronically ill/disabled. The truth is he’s aware of how the first Danny and his fate planted the seeds of morality and rebellion in her, and correctly fears his treatment of her may be watering them. His perfect son would never betray him, but if his wayward daughter chooses to she won’t be able to get far. Ironically, this decision is a big piece of her growing pile of evidence that her father is maybe, in fact, evil. Both siblings defined by comparison: Danny believed to be the better version of knowingly, his little sister, and unknowingly, the dead boy whose life he never asked to steal; Danielle the inferior knockoff of the old Danny, let alone the current one. The mutual intertwined feelings of resentment, sympathy and guilt toward each other, with Danny longing for Elle’s freedom while regretting that he automatically receives all Vlad’s praise and love and Elle envying Danny’s pampering while feeling sick to her stomach that he’s trapped at the heart of Vlad’s web.

Not to mention the Fentons, Sam and Tucker and even the staff and other students of Casper High’s side of things where they investigate whatever the hell is going on with the sudden disappearance of Danny Fenton and the sudden appearance shortly afterward of Danny and ‘Danielle’ Masters. I mean, imagine how weird and suspicious that would be. Vlad. Think about it. Really think about how it would look from the outside and to everyone who knew Danny Fenton. You didn’t think this through at all, you fruit loop!

(Credit to @anikuja for this part.) NOT TO MENTION Danny Fenton’s ghost (so, is he just always Phantom? Or a new form based on Phantom with different powers and added details based on how he died and how he feels about it?) escaping the Ghost Zone for the Masters - Vlad to defeat him, the kids to get them away from him and to Team Phantom and also therapy, a lot of therapy - and his loved ones. So much story potential!

What’s the AU called then? Danny Masters AU? No, the focus is on both of the siblings equally. Masters Siblings AU! @phantomrose96

[cronengirly]

Okay so I normally try to stay away from "lore" theories because they tend to border on fanfiction (nothing wrong with that, just not my niche) and generally don't add anything to the analysis of the text.

I will, however, indulge myself just this once for some

Rampant Speculation on the Cthulhu Mythos

Yes, I'm a mythos fan girl, sue me. I'm not gonna get bogged down in a discussion of Lovecraft's views or even his writing because that's not what we're talking about today (for reference, he's a scumbag, racist sonuvabitch and I'd happily bring him back from the dead just to kill him all over. Also his writing is so so overwrought)

Now, with that disclaimer out of the way, let's get on to my actual point. I think we look at Cthulhu (and his assorted half siblings) the wrong way.

The "accepted" canon is that Cthulhu is the spawn of Yog-Sothoh and Shub-[name redacted, sounds like a slur], or that he's the spawn of Nug, the offspring of Yog-Sothoh and Shub-[nope, I'm not saying it]

I think these are both dumb and lame when there's an infinitely better alternative that would give the mythos a more consistent recurring element.

Cthulhu is the spawn of Yog-Sothoh and a member of the race we now call the Star Spawn of Cthulhu.

Just like how The Dunwich Horror and Wilbur Whateley are the twin sons of Yog-Sothoh and Lavinia Whateley.

Presumably Hastur, the King in Yellow, is the offspring of Yog-Sothoh and a member of some unseen and unknown race, long extinct or forgotten.

So why do I think this works? Well for one I don't have to mention Shubby nearly as often this way. More importantly, it contextualizes a lot about these creatures. Compared to his half-brothers, The Dunwich Horror was only a baby. Granted, a baby the size of a house that ate cattle whole, but still basically a baby. It makes it so much scarier with the added context that this... Thing, the product of an unholy Union of woman and great old one, could become something as cosmically horrible and vast as Cthulhu.

It also means that Cthulhu's Star Spawn are basically the fate that The Dunwich Horror could have inflicted on humanity, a twisted and monstrous army to serve him and spread the will of the old ones. Plus it means that the Star Spawn aren't born of Cthulhu, or made in his image, he's born of THEM, twisted into the image of his father Yog-Sothoh.

Plus, it would suggest that Hastur, who has no known race, simply destroyed or consumed his own kin on the path to apotheosis.

A recurring element in the mythos is our smallness, our tiny, delicate and precarious place in the world. Humanity is threatened when an unknowing God rolls over in his sleep, or some passing horror drifts too close to our little corner of the galaxy.

But in a way, isn't it more frightening to think that those things could be born of us? That every day, all the time, there are whole worlds being extinguished or enslaved by a monster born to their people? In a way, isn't that horror, one that's objectively smaller in scale and happening on distant world, so much closer to home?

[chibi-chanforever]

𝙰 𝙳𝚎𝚋𝚝 𝚃𝚘 𝙿𝚊𝚢

Pairings: Bokuto x Fem Reader x Akaashi

Warnings: Hardcore Smut and triggering themes please read at your own discretion. This is just a work of fiction and is not encouraged in anyway whatsoever. 

themes: Non-con, Kidnapping, Drugging, Gunplay, Orgasm control/denial, Edging, Cuffs, , Creampie, Cunnilingus, Voyeurism, Masturbation, Blowjob, Threesome, Face Fucking, Penetrative Sex, Mentions of Stalking and Yandere.

A/n: Heyaaa so basically this is in collaboration with the Church of Meian theme of May-mafia/Mayfia. Its my first collaboration and my first time posting smut, hope yall enjoy!! Please make sure to check out the amazing art and stories posted by the lovely people in our little church and give them some love, the link is at the end of the story!! Also special thanks to @kinsurou​, @murdereddaydreams​ and @vanille--kiss​ for helping me and supporting me through everything. Love you soo muchoo my little ohana

A heavy sigh escaped your lips as you glanced over to the stacks of paperwork you still had to go through. The daunting pileup that only increases every hour. You sighed again as you thumped your head onto the desk,frail arms just barely cushioning the blow. While staring blankly at your own feet, you spied the wastepaper basket sitting near, completely empty apart from a few used sugar sachets and soggy teabags.

Your eyes flit towards the pile of files again and you couldn't help but wonder what would happen if a few papers landed in the trash can, accidentally, of course. You contemplated for a few more seconds, before you shuddered as you imagined familiar cat-like eyes flit across your vision. You didn't want to really know what would happen if he found out about it, did you?

The minx-like golden eyes flashed once again in your mind as you recalled the fateful day. The day from which everything spiralled downhill.

If only, if only your family hadn't gotten into trouble with the Nekoma clan, things would be different. But no, they had to take a loan and fall into the mercy of Nekoma…

But at least you got off easy, you thought as you cradled your head. At least you and your family didn't suffer the same fate as the others. You were thankful to the head of the Nekoma for giving you the opportunity of paying off the debt through work, instead of the usual means. A shudder ran through your spine as you thought of the stories you've heard, of what happened to the other people who owed the clan money.

A heavy Bam shook you from your stupor as your head jerked up to stare at the new batch of files that had been banged onto the stack. You shook your head to clear your thoughts as you reached for the first file of the batch. It would be better to just get to it and finish it before the end of the day. That's when you noticed the little photograph that slipped out on the floor and you bent to pick it up.

There were four guys in the frame, two of them being the focus of the shot, with goofy big smiles and arms draped around each other, though there was a big red circle drawn around the one with owlish silver hair, the ink of the marker recent enough to smudge a little. The other two guys looked like they were not meant to be in the picture, but oddly that fact only made it so much better.

One with blonde highlights stood grimacing in the background while the other guy's face was barely visible, his body half turned and blurry as if someone had called out to him at the last moment when the picture was being taken.

Overall it looked like a fun bunch of friends but you wondered why there was a circle drawn around one of them. You flipped the picture, curiosity getting the best of you. Finding only a date written you turn the picture again, choosing to focus on the people in there.

“T-these are the next in-line heirs to the Nekoma clan” you whisper lowly to yourself. They were the ones who were supposed to take over in the coming years and were your current bosses. You couldn't wrap your head as to what this was doing in your file. You were given only the most basic work to handle as their secretary, numbers to jot down, business meetings to book and take note of the expenses and make detailed reports about meetings they attend. Maybe this slipped in by mistake somehow ??

You centered in on the person grimacing and the one with bed-hair; cogs turn in your brain as you wondered why these two individuals seemed so similar before something dawns on you and an audible gasp leaves your lips as the picture dropped onto your lap.

With trembling hands you shoved the picture back into the file and hide it at the bottom of the stack, maybe this was a file that was not supposed to be in your hands, fuck fuck fuck. Your eyes skim the room to watch out for anyone observing you. These guys didn't trust you enough to give you such things, so obviously it was misplaced and dumped into your paperwork by accident.

You suddenly noticed Lev jogging towards you and your whole body tensed as he approached. You pretended to work on the other files that were scattered around on your desk, typing random words and numbers into the excel sheet, your gaze was strongly focused on your screen yet everything was blurry. If Lev were to take a peek as to what you were doing at this moment,  he would realise that what you were typing was utter bullshit.

“Ah, you remember the stack of files and papers that I just placed here?” He pointed his finger to the stack of papers that still lay stagnant there.

“Yes sir? What can I do for you t-today?” You kicked yourself under the desk for how weird you sounded in the moment, but lucky for you he was in a hurry so he didn't pay much mind to you.

“Can you give those back to me? I think there were five bunches of them, I think I gave you the wrong ones,” he rubbed the back of his head as his voice took an almost sheepish tone by the end.

Without saying anything in return you just nod stiffly before taking the first four files, slowly sneaking in the file that you shoved at the bottom, you softly banged them against the table as if to align them before giving them to him with a small smile.

“Hey Y/n?” Lev called out to you after he cleared his throat. You slowly turned your head towards him trying your best to act innocent as if you hadn't just seen a picture of the mafia head with his friends.

A light pink blush clouded his face as he clumsily took the files from you, bowing a little before he scurries off to give those files to whoever he was supposed to give them to in the first place. 

You let out a deep exhale of relief, slumping further into the chair as he turns a corner and goes out of sight. Your phone suddenly buzzes and you yelp as your body jolts upright from the chair, you relax visibly when you notice that it was only a reminder that you had kept on your phone signalling the end of your shift.

Dropping it back onto the table with a clatter you stretched yourself in the chair, a smile gracing your lips as you collect your things to head home, deciding to stop at the grocery store to make a big dinner for the family today, just to relax your mind and console yourself that everything was alright, that you wouldn't be killed for seeing confidential information. It was just a picture, you thought, yeap just a picture that could possibly be a kill target, fuck did you get involved in a crime? You pinched your arm as you walked out of the office, shaking your head of all the negative thoughts.

The keys jingled as you struggled to slide the key into the lock with two grocery bags in hand, the atmosphere eerily silent as you entered the house, you called out for your mom and dad, followed by a soft “tadaima” only to receive no response in return.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

You laughed as you remember that a few days ago your dad tried to make dinner and ended up breaking your mom's favourite ceramic pot while removing one of the pans. She has been so mad at the time that she took a vow to not cook until your dad got her a similar ceramic pot if not a better one.

You entered the living room to find it completely empty, and chill ran down your spine, where were your mom and dad? You walked toward the fridge and suddenly everything made sense when you saw the small sticky note with a haste scribble that said that your parents had gone out at the last minute for a makeup dinner, decorated with a small smiley in the end.

With a broad smile plastered on your lips you placed both the grocery bags on the counter, humming softly to yourself as you removed the items from within the bags. From the corner of your eye you suddenly notice a shadow cross and your body goes rigid. Your hand slowly inched forward before curling around the handle of a pan nearby when a tingling feeling rises up your spine, signalling someone’s approach.

In the room filled with soft rays of evening light you stand ominously still, breath bated as you tighten your clammy grasp, knuckles turning white, cold beads of sweat running down the side of your face. You backhand swung the pan the moment you see a slight shadow come up behind you, but your actions were stopped midway as you were pushed head first onto the counter, your hand with the pan being banged harshly against the cold surface of the marble, forcing you to let go of the pan. The person behind you used their body weight to keep you pinned to the counter as you trash around, trying your best to get hold of any object you can use to defend yourself.

Just as you get your right hand free from under the person’s weight, you feel a pinch on your shoulder and suddenly your body starts losing its strength,eyelids getting heavier and your vision turning blurry. As a last attempt you tried to scream out for help, but the moment you open your mouth a gloved hand clamps down on your lips and you try to trash around, only for him to lean his weight further on you, knocking the air out of your lungs.

Right before you passed out, you faintly heard a phone buzzing and for a second you wondered if it's yours. You fought to stay awake as the man still kept you pinned against the counter, shuffling behind you before a small beep followed by a smooth soft voice reached your ears.

“ I have her Bokuto-san”

That was the last thing you witnessed before losing control over your senses and everything went dark.  

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

You woke up to a cold concrete floor, a dull throb sitting in the back of your head as you grunted softly, your vision confiscated by a blindfold. The place where you were injected felt like it was on fire, limbs feeling heavy and…

You tried shifting your arms but all you could hear was the clang of metal against the concrete. You tried moving your feet but they were seized with cuffs which were attached to metal chains rooted firmly into the floor. You pushed yourself up onto your knees, only to be pulled back by the chains hooked on cuffs around your wrists, the rattling sound echoing loudly throughout the room along with a disgruntled sob. You held your breath in fear, hoping that no one was around to hear it. The room fell utterly silent as you tried your best to hear for any footsteps, only to be greeted by a soft hum of jazz, barely thrumming in through the walls.

You wanted to cry, scream, trash around, but there you laid, frozen in fear, trying your best to not make a single sound, making it seem like you were still unconscious. You were just delaying the inevitable, buying as much time as you could; you didn't have a single clue as to  what you had done to be in such a situation, if it was about the loan, weren't you already paying it off by working? Or did they get tired of waiting?

But hadn’t you walked the perfect line with your job? you didn't have a single complaint from your superiors and your colleagues commended you on it, because it seems that they weren't compatible with just anyone and most of them didn't survive beyond the second week. So why were you here then? Was it the–

Your thoughts were cut short as you heard keys chime on the other side of the door and you froze in your spot, trying your best to pretend that you weren’t awake just a moment ago, tugging on your restraints.

You slowed down your breathing, evening it out just as the door opens, its hinges creaking loudly as you hear a chorus of footsteps pad through the room. But your little act of being asleep was immediately cut short as a bucket of ice cold water was thrown over your body making you jolt upright in shock, gasping and shuddering at the sudden overwhelming sensation.

“Looks like the little kitten is awake now! Let’s get this over with, shall we?” A deep voice boomed throughout the room, and you cower back a little, chains clanking along with you.

“Akaashi, remove  her restraints but keep the cuffs on her hands.” The same authoritative voice commands and soon you feel a presence behind you, undoing your chains.

Your shivering body only trembled more as you felt fingers graze your calves and back, your now damp blindfold only serving to rile on your fears. You didn’t shift from your position when you felt the weight drop from your hands and legs, too scared to do anything. Your mind ran a million miles per minute, barging through your brain with various emotions and thoughts, but yet you feel blank as a chair scrapes loudly against the floor, placed in front of you.

A hand hooks under your arm, pulling you to sit upright and a whimper leaves your lips in fright. You wanted to plead– heck even beg for mercy, cry a litany of apologies and offer anything up in exchange for your life, but your lips didn’t move a single inch, even though you were practically screaming from within. You choke on the silence that suffocates the room before a gentle finger traced the back of your neck and you suppressed the urge to shudder at the feeling, soon finding your blindfold falling to the floor. You squinted, trying to move away from the sudden bright light before coming face to face with the last face you expected to see, the supposed kill target, his golden orbs more brighter and fierce than you remembered, excitement dancing along his lashes.

“And what do we have here?” He leaned forward as he rested his elbows on his knees, his palms joined in front of him and a cunning smile plastered on his face. His eyes raked your form before looking at the man behind you, nodding at him before you heard the softest “Yes Bokuto-san” flow past you and your eyes widen when realise where you heard it before; you recollect to the voice you barely managed to hear before you were rendered unconscious and painful tears started to collect in the corner of your eyes as you tried to swallow the lump on your throat.

The guy now known as Akaashi brought something to the guy in front of you before going back to his earlier position behind you. Faint light glinted against the object and when you realised what it was, tears flowed down freely your cheeks as soft hiccups wrecked through your body.

“Aww honey, don’t be scared. All you need to do is answer all our questions truthfully and I won’t have to use this. Whaddya say hmm?” Bokuto cooed as he slid the gun against your cheek, before placing the barrel under your cheek and tipping your head upwards. Afraid, you closed your eyes before nodding meekly.

“That’s a good girl. See we won’t be having any problems then.” He says with childish enthusiasm in his voice as if it were just another game for him. Akaashi stood silent, his eyes never leaving your form, watching the way your nipples pebbled under the cool air, your shirt now almost transparent as droplets of water slid down your shivering form. Bokuto feigned a cough and Akaashi flits his gaze to him, immediately registering that Bokuto noticed him staring at you, his signature playful smile getting a little bit wider, a hidden intent written behind that smile.

“It’s time to pat her down, Akaashi.” Bokuto stated before turning to you, “Don’t worry hun, it's just a mandatory procedure.” The moment those words were said you were lifted off the ground and placed onto Bokuto's lap and a sob fell from your lips as you tried to get away from his hold, but that only spurred him on to wrap his hand around your waist firmly.

“Shush now little  kitten, don’t worry, the more you struggle, the harder it will be.” He pulled you closer to his heated body, your back hitting his chiseled chest as you straddled him, making your pencil skirt bunch up, your cuffed hands uncomfortable as they get smushed at an odd angle between your back and his chest. You try to move forward because the burn was too much, but the hand on your waist only tightened, keeping you put, your legs kept secure behind his ankles.

“So tell me kitten what’s your name hmm??” He asked you while Akaashi kneeled down in front of you and started patting down your shoulders before his fingers found your buttons, relieving them from its reserves with ease; you looked down at Akaashi with unbelieving eyes, Bokuto’s question falling on deaf ears and that was your biggest mistake. His hand on your waist slid up to roughly grab one of your tits, pinching the nipple harshly and making you cry out in pure agony.

“I asked you something pet, I don’t like to repeat myself twice. Geddit? Now I'm going to ask you once more and that will be your last time. You hear me?” His voice was viciously low and threatening. You only nodded back in response, the sting still fresh on your skin. “ Use your words kitten” He commanded, and you choked out a broken “Y-yes.”

“Good girl. Now tell me what your name is, hmm?”

“ It’s Y-Y/n,” you managed to stutter out, chest heaving.

“That's a lovely name for a kitten! Well now, what is a pretty little thing like you doing in the Nekoma estate, hmm? What is your relationship with Kuroo and Kenma? Are you their fucktoy? Wouldn’t doubt if you were, you seem quite fun to play with” he whispered the last part as he grabbed your face, turning your head away from him. He brushed his nose against your neck, taking in your scent as hot puffs of air collided against your skin.

“I’m j-just a secretary, I have a debt to clear with them, t-that’s all. I’m not their- their- '' heat rushes to your cheeks as embarrassment and anger flowed through you as it dawned upon you what he really meant and you tried to pull away from Bokuto. “I don’t do anything of that sort! I don’t have that kind of relationship with them. I just arrange meetings and appointments, and other basic stuff, that’s it! Now let me go!” You spit the words out, anger boiling through your veins, but it soon turned ice cold with the next question, and you realise you fucked up… Big time.

“ Then you must know about the upcoming business meetings of Nekoma, right? That means you would know the location of Kuroo and Kenma? ” And the room once again went silent. In your fit of anger and defiance you didn’t even realise that Akaashi had slid your shirt up over your shoulders, sliding them down up to your cuff covered wrists  and was now drawing your skirt down. You tried to wiggle your hips to hinder his movements but it only serves to his advantage as it slides down easier.

“Please l-let me go, I-I don’t know anything please!” You begged, voice turning desperate, you couldn’t give out information about the Nekoma clan or they would have your head for it. What about your family–

“You’re a smart little one aren’t you, you know they will hunt you down if you give me their information. But if you decide to tell me, I give you my word that no harm will come to you or your family, furthermore your debt will be repaid. And if you don’t, I could put a bullet through your head right now.” Bokuto said with a playful lift to his voice, bringing the gun up to your temple.

“ I really don’t remember! Please, I can’t recall w-with who it was.. Please don’t shoot!!” You sobbed out, mind going blank when the gun is placed to your temple, fear overwhelming your senses.

“Aw it was good knowing ya kitten, you would’ve made such a good pet.” He cocks the gun with a loud click finger at ease on the trigger while he places soft kisses on your neck, softly whispering against your skin, “ Sayonara–”

“KARASUNO!!” You screamed out the first thing you remembered right before he could pull the trigger. “It’s Karasuno, sometime in the middle of next week, in the Miyagi Prefecture.. That’s about all I know. Please, please let me go now, I’m begging you!!!”

He chuckled darkly right next to your ear and goosebumps rose all over your skin with adrenaline. You closed your tear filled eyes, sobs shaking through you. You wanted this to be a nightmare, a dream from which you would wake up any moment, but the cuffs digging into your wrists and warm hands searing into your skin said otherwise.

“Mmm you definitely deserve a reward for that, don’t you?” He licks a long stripe from the base of your neck to your ear before whispering those words. You shake your head violently, not wanting to spend another waking minute here but he completely ignores your signs of protest. Bokuto’s hand travels down your body till his hand reached your panties to cup your pussy, groaning when he hears a small whimper leave your lips at the contact. He tugged on your panties, a hiss leaving his lips when he noticed how sensitive your body was.

“Such a pretty kitten, Akaashi, why don't you reward her for me, yeah?” Bokuto said as he shifted your panties to the side, dipping his fingers into your folds before prying them apart, giving Akaashi a good view of your cunt. Akaashi took his lower lip between his teeth before swiping his tongue across it as he indulged himself with the sight of your glistening pussy.

“Go on ‘Kaashi, don’t you want a taste?” Bokuto questioned, his fingers circling your clit, before travelling to your entrance, he dipping two fingers inside before removing them and spreading them, your juices smeared all over them and he popped his fingers to his mouth, a low growl arising from his chest made you bite on your lip harshly. “Of course I do Bokuto-san.” And that was all Akaashi said before he hooked your legs over his shoulder and dived into your pussy, flattening his tongue against your entrance before dragging it upwards towards your clit, rubbing his tongue against it before sucking on it.

You moaned loudly as Akaashi kept slurping up the juices dripping from your hole, making sure to not let a single drop go by, while Bokuto unhooked your bra, sliding them up so he could see your perky little nipples just begging for attention. He uncocks the gun and hooks it on his waistband, after which his hands find purchase of your soft mounds, pressing each nipple inside with his forefinger before pinching them and rolling them between his fingers. He gave your nipples a few rough tugs just to hear your sweet voice more.

You’re too overwhelmed to do anything but mewl as Akaashi detached himself from your pussy, fingers tugging down your panties and pocketing the soaked fabric. He used his thumb to rub your nub while his tongue prods your entrance and you gasp, taking a shaky breath in. When he rubbed a certain spot at the entrance you threw your head back and Bokuto immediately wrapped his fingers around your throat, his grip firm as his lips hastily crashed onto yours, drinking in all your moans and whimpers. He continued to kiss you, your moaning making it easy to plunge his tongue into your mouth, the kiss so heated that it brought you right on the edge of tipping over.

Your legs shook uncontrollably, being just one flick away from falling over the edge when Akaashi pulled back and you breathed heavily, not wanting to show them that this affected you much, while you mourned the loss of such a sweet release. His face is smeared with your juices and he licks his lips as he uses the back of his sleeve to wipe off the excess. The corner of his mouth lifted as he looked at Bokuto and nodded at him as you whined at your stolen high. Bokuto broke the kiss and smiled at Akaashi wide enough to have the tops of his incisors seen, the feral intent in his eyes reminding you of the dangerous position you were in.

Your eyes widened when Akaashi abruptly stood up and slid his hands under your butt, fingers digging into the flesh of your ass as he picked you up from Bokuto’s lap and you yelped. Akaashi’s eyes were fixated on you the entire time you were in his arms, his eyes shifting from your eyes to your lips continuously while you squirm.

“P-please no, I-I don’t want to go any further please” you told Akaashi, eyes big and pleading, filled with fresh tears.

“It’s okay Doll, don’t worry, we won’t hurt you until you disobey. So be a good little pet for us alright?” He whispered  against your ear as he placed you down on your wobbly legs with your back against the mahogany table behind. He cupped your face gently, thumb swiping across your trembling lips as he looked at you with pure adoration. If it were any other situation you might’ve even considered going out with this beautiful man; but here you were, held against your will, your body being used as per their whims and wishes and you couldn’t do a single thing about it, it made your stomach twist with hate and disgust knowing how weak you were.

Akaashi leaned in, softly pressing his lips against yours into the most sweetest and gentle kiss you’ve ever had. You were so lost in it that your mouth unconsciously granted him access when he licked your bottom lip, you immediately tasted yourself on his tongue. The way he explored your mouth made you moan, your pussy clenching over a single kiss, only coming to your senses when his fingers fiddled with the straps of your bra, unclasping them and you bit his lip in defiance when he pulled your bra off your body, the taste of iron now pooling on your tongue.

Akaashi pulled back when you bite his lip, raising an amused eyebrow at you. He couldn’t believe that you still had thought that you could say no to them, it was cute to him; luckily it wasn’t Bokuto-san or she would've gotten a punishment by now– Akaashi thought as blood dripped from his lip onto his chin.

“This kitten is still using her claws I see, quite feisty~” Bokuto chimed as he came behind Akaashi, watching the entire scene from the corner. You looked at both of them in shock when Bokuto turned Akaashi’s head and pulled him into a kiss, licking up the blood that was on his lips and groaning when he still tasted the remnants of your sweet juices on Akaashi’s tongue. Bokuto broke the kiss, his lips sliding down to Akaashi’s neck and chuckling against his skin as he remembers the day Akaashi first saw you.

Akaashi was so mesmerised by you, couldn’t stop talking about how beautiful you were and how he wanted you so badly. Akaashi mentioned you so many times that it had started to get on his nerves, sometimes he even moaned out your name when he was asleep. Bokuto finally snapped when Akaashi choked out your name as he came all over Bokuto’s hands pumping his shaft. And when Akaashi found out that you worked for Nekoma it was the perfect excuse he needed to bring you in and play with you, see what was so special about you. Akaashi insisted on getting you personally, not wanting anyone else to get their hands on you; he was possessive like that– Bokuto was brought out of his fazed stupor with your cute little mewls filling the room.

Akaashi had started marking up your neck, slurping bruises on your skin while his fingers played with your nipples.

“Kitten, why don't you put on a little show for us? Play with that pretty little cunt of yours, show us how you like it and maybe I’ll think about letting you go?” Bokuto said as his fingers rub circles on your hips soothingly. The prospect of getting out of here had you ready to do anything and you eagerly nod your head at the offer, maybe once they freed your hands you could try to escape too. But Bokuto seemed to know what you're thinking, because he turned you around and shoved your head onto the table, your toes barely grazing the floor as you struggled under the weight of his body on yours. He removes the gun from his waistband and places it on your neck.

“Don’t even think about doing anything funny, cause there won’t be a second chance~” He singed as his hips grinded into yours, his erection pressed against your ass and you gasped as you felt how big he was even through his pants. He lifted himself off you once you yelp out a “Yes” he slowly slid the gun down your back, smacking the barrel against your ass before going lower and rubbing the cool metal against your folds. You dug your nails into your palm to ground yourself as he continued to rub against your clit, teasing the little nub till the barrel was covered in your juices.

“Get on the table kitten, I want a perfect view of your pussy.” Bokuto stopped his ministrations as you struggle to get on the table, when you took too much time for his liking he shoved your other leg on top and smacked your ass, making you scream out, he rubbed his fingers over the red print that is visible as he growled out a ‘hurry up’. Akaashi on the other hand started uncuffing your hands, sliding the shirt that was stuck above your wrist along with your cuffs.

You were already on the verge of cumming earlier, so doing that once again wouldn’t take that long. You reached down your trembling fingers and started slowly circling your clit, you moaned as you started going faster, rubbing yourself just the way you had done dozens of times before.

“Don’t be shy, Doll. Stuff a few fingers up that sweet hole” Akaashi said as he unzips his pants, pumping his cock in his hand at the lewd sight of you playing with yourself. He had imagined you like this whenever he stroked his cock alone, but he didn’t know it would be so fucking hot.

“You heard him, use those fingers to stuff your hole, kitten.” Bokuto chimed in with Akaashi. You reached down further and slowly start to slide two fingers in and out of your pussy, moaning as you started feeling good, the base of your palm bumping against your clit. You started going faster, feeling yourself reach your high once again, your moans turned higher and higher in pitch. You were just about ot cum when Bokuto slaped your hand away from yourself, making you whine loudly when you were denied another high. It was starting to feel like torture, your thoughts were getting fuzzy and all you could think was how badly you wanted to cum.

“Doll if you wanna cum then you just gotta ask” Akaashi said softly as he rubs his fingers over your sensitive folds, making you buck into his hand. You almost didn’t care about anything anymore, the only thing on your mind was the need to cum, but there was a little shard of dignity that was left in you and it made you bite your tongue. Your anger and frustration of not getting to cum makes you a little bold.

“F-fuck y-you” you panted out with as much venom in your words as you could muster. Bokuto shook his head as a chuckle wrecked through his chest once again. You were certainly a fun thing to tease and play with, the way you refused to give up only served to pique his interest further. “Oh I certainly plan to kitten, I’m going fuck this pretty little cunt all night. Make you a pliant mess on my cock”

You heard the clink of a buckle being opened, noticing the gun placed on the table not too far from your reach and with your hands free, you tried to push yourself off the surface only to be held down by your neck. “Oh no you don’t Doll, I’ve waited an eternity to feel those lips on me” Akaashi remarked as he unbuttoned his pants with his free hand and slid down the zipper. “Now pull my cock out, pretty girl.” He slowly released the pressure on your neck, Bokuto smacked your ass when you didn't comply, his heavy hand stinging enough to have you immediately reach out, tugging on the waistband of the his pants.

Akaashi bit his lips as your fingers touched his cock, his  hard member twitching at the contact. Not being able to control himself any further, Akaashi swooped down and pulled you in for a kiss while simultaneously Bokuto aligned his tip with your entrance. Akaashi pulled back, standing straight so that his cock was mere inches from your face. He removed his shirt before he gathered your hair in his hand and pulled you towards his member. You shook your head no, using one to keep you up while the other pushed on his waist.

But your attempts were futile as Bokuto slammed himself into you with one swift movement, making you scream at the stretch and Akaashi used that as an opportunity to shove his cock into your mouth, groaning when you gagged and sputtered on his length, still attempting to cry out. The sounds from your warm mouth made him shudder in pleasure.

Bokuto starrted slamming into you immediately, fucking into you with feral intensity and using you as his personal pocket pussy, each thrust pushed your mouth further on Akaashi’s cock.

“Nghh you're so fucking tight kitten, squeezing my dick so fucking good” Bokuto grunted out before placing both his hands on your hips, his fingers holding you tight enough to leave dark bruises and he used that at leverage to fuck into you faster, His fat cock stirring up your insides and hitting spots deep inside you that you didn't know you had, making you moan continuously on Akaashi's cock. Said man slowly started to buck his hips into your mouth, falling into a rhythm with Bokuto, once in a while pushing his cock deep enough that the tip hit the back of your throat.

The room echoed with muffled moans and low growls, squelching sounds filling the room. Both men fastened their pace, pulling and pushing back and forth, singing praises and defiling your body at the same time.

“Oh fuck d-Doll haa.. your mouth feels so good, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum!! And I want you to drink every drop of it” Akaashi keened as he kept moving his hips, he wrapped his hand around your throat, squeezing firmly till he felt the outline of his cock making you lightheaded. Akaashi watched as you rolled your watery eyes back in pleasure, choking and gagging on his cock, feeling his cock on your throat was the last strand and it pushed him off the edge and he gave a deep thrust cumming directly inside your throat, fingers still clutching your neck. He pulled out halfway, so that his cum spilled all over your tongue; shudders wrecked through his body as his thighs flexed till it burned, he pinched your nose as pulled out of you and clamped his other hand over your mouth so you had no other choice but to swallow, and once done he pulled you up as he climbed on the table as well.

You hung on Akaashi, hands hooked around his shoulders as Bokuto still kept pummelling into you, thighs slapping loudly against your ass. Akaashi kept kissing you, not leaving your body alone even for a second, biting and sucking on your lips or roaming along the length of your neck. His hands roamed all over your body before sliding between your folds, lithe fingers barely grazing your nub before forming a 'V' where Bokuto's cock enters you, spreading your folds. Your thighs trembled uncontrollably, body shivering, you would be laying flat against wood, had it not been for Akaashi holding you up, one hand wrapped around your waist.

Your mind was going crazy, you were so close to cumming but you just needed that little push, that little rub and nudge on your clit. The fact that Akaashi's fingers kept lightly brushing against it didn't help any further, you wanted to just cum, a dam waiting to be broken and you couldn't take it anymore.

“Please, please mmnnn j-just let me cum!!" You cried out, transgressing in the moment of pleasure.

“All you had to do was ask Doll” Akaashi murmured against your skin as his fingers slid up to your clit, rubbing refined, delicate circles around your sensitive nub and that was the final push that made you cum all around Bokuto's cock, pussy fluttering around his shaft, squeezing him tightly as an orgasm wrecked through you, compelling your body into a convulsing mess as a prayer of moans leave your lips, your toes curling till your feet hurt.

Your pussy clenched tightly around his shaft triggered Bokuto’s orgasm as well, his hips slowing their pace as he pumped deep strokes into your hole. And with a loud shivering groan against your ear, your pussy was filled with hot spurts of cum as he leaned his weight slightly on your limp body, his skin hot and sweaty against your own.

He placed a soft kiss on your back before pulling out of you, walking away to get something. During the time he’s gone Akaashi gently stroked your hair, while holding you in his warm embrace until Bokuto returned with something in his hand. Bokuto reached out and clicked it into place with alige fingers before smiling devilishly. You looked down, weak hand unconsciously reaching up to touch the item and you gasped, realizing it's a collar, and yanked on it to try and remove it. Hastily you reached behind hoping to find a buckle to release it, but instead you found a lock and turned towards Bokuto.

“D-didn’t you s-say you were going to let me go?” You asked, voice trembling with trepidation. While you were looking away Akaashi linked a leash to your collar, wrapped the excess length around his knuckles and handed it over to Bokuto. He yanked on your collar as he did so, forcefully bringing you closer as he offered Bokuto your leash with a heated kiss before Bokuto pulled away to look at you with a sickeningly sweet smile.  

“Oh I said I’ll think about it, and I think I’m not done with you just yet kitten~”

Heyya thank you soo much for reading!! As promised the collabs links are down below, please show some love and support!!

The Church of Meian Masterlist🌼 Mayfia masterlist🌼

Also requests are open!!

©️Copyrights of chibi-chanforever. 4/6/2021.

[secretbangtnn]

Love Lies | kth I

➤ summary : You never had it easy. From the first day of your life it seemed like fate was a big joke, making every effort to make you feel miserable. Shortly after taking the first step into adulthood, you are convinced that childhood doom follows you like a shadow. On the verge of being broke without any help, you take your friends advice and try your hand in industry you have no idea about.

➤ genre : CEO! au, prostitution but not really au, strangers to enemies to lovers, Smut, fluff, angst

➤ pairing : Taehyung x reader ft. Jimin (This chapter Jimin x reader)

➤ ratings : 18+ NSFW

➤words : 10k

➤ warnings : swearing, prostitution, sex for money, mentions of mental health, toxic household, mentions of violence, explicit sexual content, mxm, fxm, family problems, dishearitance, toxic relationship, Taehyung is bad at feelings, reader is lost, soft boy jimin, sexy hot taehyung (couse that will need a warning) - more to be added

notes ~

I finally did it! I'm so sorry for the wait and how the chapter came out - it's a little more messy than I predicted but i wanted to give you something before the big story. I promise the next chapter is going to start with the big action and main plot and finally with Taehyung. I really hope for some feedback, I worked hard for it to be done before the next week and even though it may seem boring i really hope it’s okay.

taglist:

@jinssexytoe @danyxthirstae01 @alwaysasadaesthetic @luvmingyu @chimincubus @minshookie29

Underneath the sunrise

Show me where your love lies

Relationships that are based on lies never last long and everyone who found themselves in artificial feelings, knows of the truth of those words. Although that sweet sinful lie sometimes replaces that thing we could have never got.

You never thought about yourself as someone low, at least not that low to kneel to beg of something so materialistic like money.

You respected yourself at the same time being sure that you would fight everything alone. Just like a good fighter - you didn't need a good sword in a big war. Even once in your whole life you wouldn't have thought of stepping that low to actually work as a cleaner in old school or supermarket lady, that couldn't even use the calculator right.

How ironic, we love when inevitable doom falls on people that did not deserve it.

You were taught from the beginning, how to live, what to do, how to look, and the most important who to listen to. It's so weird when we find a character that's not extremely bad or good, not the shy mouse of the school, also not the hot rebellious cool girl with too big ego, and mouth so unbelievable that you actually start to think if you have ever met someone without such basic manners.

Fact is that you are bland, your life never yours to live, as someone recorded it with a script in their hands, and a plan for an ending and second part. It was frustrating knowing how many people never cared about you, however you could not say that you indeed did too.

Lessons were taught, those made you somehow resistant to disappointments in life. First happening in early stage, not even first year of your high school, people started to know - know about this and that, about family of yours and how privileged they would be if they had you on their side.

But you did not have a problem with it, mindset so set that you liked to think about money as a guarantee of friendship. And with this thought you let the first people use you, not minding their motive of only getting part of your prosperity.

So you believed to those days that your childhood indeed was normal.

You never tried to run from your life, you never saw yourself as a hormonal teenager in need of attention.

In the end only those who were born in respecting families, where work and pride is placed higher than blood ties, knows how upringbing really looks in such a household. Your standart always high, doing that to not need to put it higher again.

Parents instilling you dreams that were not yours, making you believe in something they always wanted. Like it was written, your whole life does not belong to you, and realization over it came in the moment when it was a little too late. Happy smiles never real, friends you swore would not leave you, disappeared within a night.

However let’s not impose that your parents were monsters, killing you on the inside with their cold demeanor or making your life miserable.

The first problem began when you had enough, when a virus in your mind told you about your own desires.

You remember this day like it was yesterday. Invisible mark on your check is still pulsating, with a wound much deeper inside screaming at you that it is still not healed.

“I want to study medicine.” Those were the exact words you first told your mother, freezing her in place and scarring inside with the power and destruction they held. She did not hold back with ignoring you, acting like the sentence was a mere passing wind, just fluffing hair in a not nice type of way. You expected that, nothing new from a shell of a person your mother has become, money and power empowering her mind, probably killing the young woman you are now, in her.

So the first step of actually making a point of how you processed to cut your family ties, were with your mother, kind of preparing you for what has to come.

Dark room, with marble accents and a woody smell that came straight to your nostrils. Mahogany desk, big enough to contain tons of papers scattered over it like some kind of nto important rubbish. You however knew better, and those innocent stock of inked pages held more value than maybe you yourself.

It was so hard to breathe in this tiny space, now feeling ever more closed up, dark and not welcoming. You tried to believe that the reason for it was not really a man sitting just before you, not minding your presence in a slighlets, but a stress and emotions on your back, you were trying to bear by yourself.

“I’m busy.” Short answer, not even directed to you - not that the man ever looked at you with those dark eyes. Predictable, exactly like you guessed. Cold feeling with a hot flush over your cheek, not knowing where the previous patience had gone.

Maybe you finally had enough. You were too tired to try to understand.

“Dad, please listen to me.” Ice cold bucket over your head, a void eyes now on you, not really expecting them to stay on you for so long, or even look up. Pupils a little blow out, stirring the dark color pallet of his eyes, similar to the tone of the bags under them. What a wrack of a man he really was, lanky hands under the suit, scribbling over something not even a minute ago, now lying lifelessly on a brownish desk.

“You really couldn't find better time for your whining? Go on, I still have a lot of work to do before I need to actually go.” Unconcern, you could even feel the unitresment oozing from him, hitting you with those eyes. They were looking at you, but at the same time it felt like they never were there. Black holes, no feelings found, gaze scary for those who never met someone so indifferent.

“I dropped out.”

“What?” Words came after some silence, piercing straight your beating heart. Hands in fist, just beside your thighs, so white that it could even be a little concerning for those looking from the side. You were nervous, even after you told yourself that this conversation was not going to be easy. Smooth information that it should be, your own life choices never discussed so openly.

“I dropped out of college”

Not a breath was heard, a heavy hand landed on the desk with a smack, knocking in the process some of the scattered pens.

“You did what?” Too calm, his voice was too calm for such information. Nerve wracking feeling once again welcomed you inside, making you take one step back. Soft material of the shirt creased under your hard grip. “It’s not the time for such a jokes Y/n”

“I’m not joking dad, I took the papers yesterday. I'm tired of wasting my time on something I never wanted.”

“Oh? But are you really? What are you going to do then? I'm getting really curious” Tone momocking you in every kind of way. You clench your teeth, an annoyed expression came over your face, just to disappear within one glance of the man.

Questions were rhetorical, laughing at your whole being in the cruelest manner. He knew about your every vulnerability, molding your persona from the beginning. So it must have been funny for him, seeing a little girl, someone he treated not entirely equally, however putting some kind of hope and dreams he himself could not reach, standing before him like a scared puppy asking for a treat.

“You yourself know the best how important those studies are for you. You prepared your whole life to go there and take my place one time, so don’t joke about it like it’s some kind of dish you are bored of eating.”

“You forced me to do it! I never wanted to take your place, study the stupid law.”

“And you decided that this is the time to suddenly realize that? Y/n from the beginning, we always gave you what you wanted, fulfilling your every wish, buying everything you wanted, and even after that you can’t be grateful. We only asked you for one thing, one thing Y/n, there is not such a thing like your dreams, there is only our family.” You wanted to laugh, those stupid exucess, only making you annoyed and wroked up. Manipulating you into believing you were selfish, that you are the problem, and you owe them right to living.

“Don’t be ridiculous father, you are not in the place to talk about family or do I need to remind you of Na-”

You heard it before you felt it. Burning feeling right in your left cheek, head on the side from the harash contact it made with the ringed hand. It was not the first time you saw or experienced such an act. Father being the man that loved to lose his temper rather fastly, hiding on the outside behind the calm demeanor and innocent smile.

Blood on your tongue, the metallic taste in your mouth like a forbidden flower you just tasted.

“You really want me to get mad today hm? “ You really wanted to nod, looking straight at him from your hair that fell after the slap. Hand on the cheek, trying to stop the pulsating ache to echo so much, however you know the best that the hot feeling is only building up and it's the only matter of time till the beautiful tones of purple show on your soft skin.

His own hands now begin viped over the handkerchief, a little blood over the white fabric, likely from the little scratches the rings were able to make.

His back to you as he went back behind the dark desk, sitting on his chair like nothing happened. And you knew, secretly that it was the end, that the conversation was done and nothing else could be said.

You closed your eyes, not even noticing you did it, realizing it after the first salty tear fell to your mouth, giving you a taste of sorrow. Head down, not in shame but in anger, with a pulsating cheek not letting you forget about the consequences your every word bears, you turned around going to the door that before somehow gave you so much hope.

“Oh and Y/n, there is no you without this family, but there is family without you. It won’t be the first time when I lose a child.”

Those exact words hunted you till this day. Rather heavy feeling, three years not long enough to make you forget, or let you accept a new life.

Loud noise of passing cars just outside the dirty window with a pounding of heart echoing in your ears. It was one of those bad days - you liked to say, those however started happening a lot of more. Breaking was never something you wanted to do, working so many jobs you could not count on your fingers, living in shitty apartments for no longer than two months just to end up on someone's couch.

That is the life you chose, the life you barely lived, everyday wishing for a miracle.

Harsh paper under your fingers, weighting your hand weirdly down - maybe it was the words that made the letter so heavy, maybe the truth you needed to face. Fact is that you do not know what to do, trying for the last months to make a living for yourself, get better pay and settle down for a longer time.

Words of your father echoing once again, making your eyes squish with the feeling. It was so hard to accept a defeat, something that you worked so hard for and for so long. You could not beg, you could not go on your knees again, and even if it was an option, imagines and memories of life in such a household keep you in the place you are now.

Head resting under your arms, shielding bright rays of sun from your eyes, long locks falling down in waves just over your pale face. You pulled them with a strength you did not know you possessed at the moment, as if it was because of them you needed to deal with all of this.

“Think Y/n, think” Mutters fell from your mouth like a mantra, supposed to make you cheer up a little. Void in your head, not ending emptiness that scares you as much as the strings of unpaid numbers on this goddamn paper.

An late hour struck on the side clock, hanging on one of the grey walls of the run down apartment you lived in. Sight itself is depressing, leaving you in wonder if maybe it is not one of the reasons for your current mood.

Who you wanted to trick.

A little knock once again echoed in the quietness of your home, reminding you of the late hour. Looking from your thick locks of hair, you sighed seeing how little time you actually got to get there. With one move, you left the scrap of paper on the side, and stood up from the ugly green couch, taking in the process bag of the crookedly hanged hook.

Fast footstep as you nearly run over one of the olders ladies living in the same flat, trying to messily wrap an apron over your waist, which is not as easy as it seemed to be earlier. Bluish fabric holding on to you with all the power, hanging a little on the too long strings, that untied themselves with each step.

You tried not to think about all those stares, looking at you as you run past them, not minding where your feets go, or if you accidentally push someone on the side. Let people think what they want, it's not like your opinion matters, and being a disgrace to your whole family disappears.

Familiar neon letters came to your sight forming the greenish title of caffe you soon found yourself in. A little bell rang as the door opened informing everyone about your presence. Calm atmosphere, everyone was busy in their own word, you loved this, a quiet place which you often found yourself admiring.

You wished that working there was not such an obligation, the only thing that let you stay in your current apartament. Rosy cheeks, and cheeky smiles as people got their morning coffee, thanking you quietly for the drink with such a pure impression, that you could not hold back the smile you gave each one of them.

“I’m so sorry for being late, I hope you didn’t need to run too much.” You said between heavy breaths, still trying to catch remaining puffs of air, head tilted to the side, hands on knees as you looked at the little blonde behind the counter.

Said boy only laughed a little, shaking his head from the embarrassment after the statement. Ringed hands cleaning some cups, quiet melody living his plump lips.

“Am I suppose to feel offended? I’m not an old man you know.” He asks, knowing that the answer will never be given. Voice on the lighter side, something you would expect from such a soft looking boy, warm and sweet to listen, and you indeed do, always keeping quiet when the boy talked about his own day to fill the quietness of your workplace.

You knew the boy was one of the things that made you feel normal, with his bright persona and angelic personality, you liked to believe he was one. He did not ask, knowing some things should stay in the dark, and you repaid him the same, being fully aware of the boy's secrets.

“Not at all. Beside we all know that it's not about you, but about who will get in trouble from your whining - and yes, it would be me. “ You say, patting his back on the way to the other side. Confused gaze now on you, as you smirk at the questioning boy waiting for some kind of elaboration, only getting from you another cup to wipe.

“Should i remind you of a certain person, which came to me with a complaint of how his favorite boy was tired - what was his name? Oh yeah Yo-”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

You laughed at the squeaky voice that came in a form of fast spoken answer, a little too fast to understand every word completely. Pretty blush came over his round cheek, soon appearing on tips of his lears, hidden by mop of blonde hair.

Not a piece of judgment in your gaze, but rather sweet caring look over the embarrassed boy next to you, trying so hard not to look bothered by your everyday teasing, that he was slowly getting accustomed to, liking how your voice gets a little lighter, your eyes light up and a pure giggle leaves your mouth.

Yeah he definitely could live with it if it means he can see the sparkle pops out in the dark of your pupils.

Cup in his hands a little heavy with the next thought that came over him. Melody coming with the pleasant wind of the early monday morning, his eyes however discreetly gazing over your figure. He knew when the times were worse, when your collarbones stood out more, welcoming i'm from the collar of an old shirt, you probably needed to wash by hands, and he hated that even if he tried to explain it, not care so much, he simply could not stop the worry seeking of him.

You were a sweetheart, never judging him, understanding his reason even after he told you about the second job he needed to take. You simply smiled, wishing him all good, and getting excited about dreams that were not your own, laughing with him and talking about his future plans as if you had place in them.

Thanks were never enough to pay off all the hardship you helped with. He respected you, admired so many things about you, how you don’t need a reason to give an arm to cry on, always taking a piece of burden on your own shoulders, whispering promises and talking about a better future that comes with hardships.

“Don’t be so embarrassed~ “ You sing to his ear when you pass him, going over to the coffee machine, big bag of beans in your hands. “I dare to say I got a little jealous when I saw him for the first time.”

“Gosh I hate you sometimes.” He whines, throwing his head back, closing his eyes to remain calm. Smile now on your lips, little giggles leaving your busy persona, trying not to be too loud in such an early hour.

An enjoyable silence came over once again, only sounds of working machines and knocks of cups, that were cleaned and wiped, mind automatically getting fuzzy from the fresh brew of coffees and autumn wind. Not a person in a shop, being still a little too early to welcome customers or get a morning drink, subtle music playing a little louder at those times filling little breaks of silence.

So how surprising it was, when those little giggles tickled your own ears suddenly and strong arms, clothed in white shirt, sneaked around your waist, making you lose the focus on filling the cup with beans. Blonde hair over your cheek, stroking the soft skin with a funny feeling, only pushing you to squirt more.

“You know if you liked him so much, you could have just said. I would think of something.” He whispers mockingly, smacking his lips in the end. Shiver comes with his next move, hands on your hips, keeping them from stirring so much, hot and on the smaller side however still noticeably bigger than your own. “Sadly I do not share my clients.”

With those words, he quickly detaches himself, hitting your bum with a cheeky smile that you soon could see right before you as the boy grabs one of the fresh croissants, putting the whole thing into his mouth.

“It must be big for you to say that.” You laugh, looking at the choking boy with the same expression he was giving you not even a minute ago.

“That was totally inappropriate.” Says blonde, chugging a glass of water you gave him out of pity.

“Now, don’t play an innocent Jimin, I see how you look at that one girl that comes here every friday. Didn’t you even memorize her order - gosh i heard you repeating it so many times that I know it myself.”

“Okay, okay maybe you are right, but it doesn’t mean you can judge me.”

“Would I ever?” A dramatic sight from the boy's accusations leaves your lips, you touch your heart looking at him with the most hurt eyes you could manage to do, a little tear spins in your eye. Mouth full of baked goodie, he laughs showing a little of non eaten food, with a proud expression to it. Your own smile now noticeable on face, happy feeling over your whole being, loving how this short amount of time with the bubbly boy let you forget about some problems. You take one of the left rags of the counter and throw it at his face, hoping to get him to work. “Stop eating! We are opening soon and I don't want to listen to how the coffee machines should be ready before the first client, because someone didn’t want to move his ass.”

“Just say you don’t want to deal with that old raisin.”

Nobody did, but Jimin had some superpower you sadly did not possess, and could at least shut the old businessman that somehow always comes first. Coming back to an earlier job, you pour black beans in the measuring cup, trying not to let the weight of the bag swoop you.

Place once again in a nice atmosphere, Jimin singing somewhere in the back, probably preparing syrups and goodies, sorting eveyrything on the displae plate. You two fell in a pleasant rhythm, doing your jobs like robots, knowing where things should go, and how not to disturb each other in the middle of action.

And it was something you really enjoyed, that piece and order, making you feel secure at least in such a place. Like you had power over your own life, your hands did what you wanted, your mind clear with tasks to be done.

Peace.

You both knew that this place was a mere act in the theatre of lies, you played in. Cafe such like that one, a happy place for two broke students, that tried everything in their power to make a living, pursue dreams so far away, still hoping that they are not going to disappear with all the hardships.

You could just drown in this lie of beauty picture you painted yourself, pretending your lifes do not look as bad, and even though you did not know the boy so well, you could tell from his eyes that he indeed is a player in the same game as you.

The truth being you did not know each other, you were not close. You knew about his job, about his own problems - some of them left unsaid, but who could you judge when you acted exactly the same.

Understanding from each other was enough.

However the boy tried to help you, offering sum of money or better paid jobs in times when you were too tired to hide it, those although - he learned after some time, never were an option for you.

And so with the next passing wind, the first client came welcoming you with kind of a grumpy smile, wishing for you to just make him the coffee. It was as always, a busy morning on the first day of the week, that always seems a little more crowded than any other, with business men and middle aged women trying to get over their morning sickness as fast as possible.

You saw the girl you talked about some minutes ago, looking from her covering eyes bangs, squashed from pink beanie on her head, nevertheless still laid perfectly. A little wave, hand hid under the panda mittens she liked to wear every other day the temperature goes down.

You smiled at the interaction, the excited smile on Jimin's face he tried so hard to hide, not doing a good job with his nearly nonexistent eyes that disappeared just because of it. She was pretty, a student in a university you both go to, however you were not sure what exactly she was majoring in.

Her funky style makes you take a shot at something related to fashion, but that might be completely wrong and the girl could just like wearing such bright clothes.

“Love the mittens, they look nearly as cute as you.” You heard, looking back from your busy hands, to gaze at the flustered pair. Adorable giggle soon leaves her mouth, covering lips with the said gloves as her own eyes disappear from weirdly similar eyesmile.

Jimin was a sweetheart, someone who deserved a happy future. And so you did everything to make that happen, wishing him the best and trying to help him even if it means your own happiness goes on a second plan.

“I'm sorry but could I order.” Coming back to your own job, you look up immediately, catching the gaze of one of the clients you did not recognize.

“Oh yes of course, I'm sorry for the wait. What can I get you?”

----

A loud noise of a closing locker echoes in a quiet room in the back of the coffee shops. Night air chilling from the open window you opened some minutes ago, to get rid of a smell so many people.

The calm of the room soothing your buzzing nerves and shaking hands, that always seems to do it after a hard day of work. Your attention now somewhere else as you try to take off the blue apron, laying it somewhere on the lonely bench next to you.

It was a busy day, helping you forget about what waits for you at home, and what person will probably visit you in the meantime. You didn’t like those times, the quiet after such hard working hours, leaving you with anxious thoughts rotating around the same problems you tried so hard to run away from.

So you tried once again, silence your mind with your hands, taking every job you could, now wiping lockers that never needed to be wiped before. The same rug from before in your hands, sliding over an uneven surface.

“Y/n?” You jumped from the sudden voice, swearing that Jimin was in the other room just a second ago. Turning around, you try to look unbothered, clenching the old rug in your hands with such interest. A little noise comes from your mouth, hum to let him know you are aware of his presence.

“Everything alright?” He asks a little unsure of the question, looking at you from the other side of the room, close to the door connected to the main room.

“Yeah, why would there not be?

“You were cleaning the lockers like not even a minute ago.” He says without thinking. Voice somehow suspicious, full of hidden concern as his suspicions from before seem to be true. You were not alright, and Jimin knows exactly what it may be. “If you need hel-”

“I'm alright! I'm really alright there is no need to worry, I'm just stressed because med major is harder than I thought.” The sigh is enough to let you know that he is not buying it.

Hard steps as he comes closer, opening his own locker situated right next to you, eyes glazing back at you from his clothes is started to put back. Tight lipped smiles is the only thing you are capable of answering with, catching his dark stare for a second.

“Im worried, and I know what you want to say, but I can’t help it. You are always the one that takes my burden so why can I not do the same?” He closes the locker with too much strength, making you jump again from the loud noise.

“It’s different.”

“How is it different? You help me with everything, you let me cry, you let me crash at your apartment when my parents try to make a mess again, so what’s the problem with me?! You don’t even want to tell me what's wrong dammit.” His eyes glassy from all the emotions, hands in a fist as if he tried to hold himself back. He turned completely to you, cornering you to the lockers behind, not letting you leave this time.

“Is it because of my work? Are you ashamed to take dirty money from someone who can’t earn normally and needs to sell themself. Is it this?! Tell me Y/n, I’m tired of seeing you in such a state, you are my friend.”

“You know it’s not that.” You tried to argue catching his watery eyes.

“So tell me, tell what is going on.”

Your own mouth in agape, words lost somewhere in the back of your head. So many years going alone, keeping everything to yourself shows itself with such a hestation of saying easy words that could let you breathe easier at night.

But would they really?

Giving someone your own burden was something you were taught as a shame. Problems should stay in family, and even there your father always told you to fight them alone.

“I - “ Eyes hopeful, looking at you with new found desperation. Big and different from the ones he was giving the sweet girl with panda mittens, and that alone made you sick knowing that the sparkle left because of you. “I’m sorry Jimin I just can’t.”

And you broke. With the remaining energy you mustered, you fell onto Jimin, him nearly not catching you on time. First tears fell, with such a power, rolling down your cheeks, wetting the soft fabric of Jimin’s shirt. You did not know why, why now you decided to just let go, sobbing so much, hoping the boy will understand that you only need someone to hold you.

And he did, wrapping his arms so securely around, letting you hide the red face in a crock of his neck. Fresh smell of flowers and perfume he always wore with a noticeable hint of coffee, you probably possesed yourself. Quiet whispers of comfort, tickling your scalp a little, hands patting your hair with care, brushing them with such a delicacy, like he secretly knew how breakable you are now.

“It’s going to be okay.” Void promise, his lips close to you kissing your forehead, with shaky hands trying so hard to gather every tear that fell down. With a little move he sat on a bench, an apron which you earlier left there dropped on the floor, a quiet thud ran in the small room, you on his lap, trying so hard to become smaller nearly molding in the bigger body of Jimin’s.

Sorry’s fly through your mouth, realizing it after Jimin's starts to rock your body. He peels your face from the safe space of his neck, wiping your running tears with both of his thumbs and trying to smile a little.

“I know it’s hard, but sometimes we need to let someone in, let them help put broken pieces together.” Eyes shining in the dim light of the room, your mouth ready to disagree quickly however quieten by his own speech. ”I know what you want to say Y/n” He starts again taking a big breath. “Being helpless doesn’t mean being weak, asking for help is not something to be ashamed of. Being strong however - is letting someone in, taking they hand and standing up with them - you have to have courage to do it, and I know you do to - but whoever put such a toxic mindset in you, keeps you from it and you need to realize that there is no longer people who will judge you for falling down a litte.”

Eyes falling down, sore from all the crying that has no plans to stop. You wipe the snot with your sleeve as well as wet cheeks, laughing a little after it, sniffles in the room as you try to calm yourself a little.

Jimins gaze still at you, now softer still brushing your hair in a calming manner with the second hand drawing circles on the side of your waist. It was shameful, hearing such words, knowing deep down they were true, but too prideful to agree with them.

“Gosh If I knew you cry like that, I would take a bucket with me. I wouldn’t need to pay water bills for like two months with it. “ He laughs as you smack him with your hand. Smile on your face, you tilt your head leaning on his arm with all the weight, a small sigh leaves your mouth. Smell of coffee now is more prominent with his own perfume, which he wears everyday, pushing your mind into own fuzzy feeling. “You know that I will always be there for you, right?”

A silent nod is enough, not too much to say after such an outbreak from your side still buzzing inside you. You know it was true, with how much you both came through together, it would be stupid to leave someone who become somehow a safe heaven.

“What are you going to do now? You won’t take any money, I guess you either are not going to be too willing to crash in my apartment.” Your head immediately shots up, eyes searching those of Jimin. A look of confusion cross your face for a second, with the words repeating in your mind once again. His face however is still serious, not leaving your surprised gaze.

“W-what how do you kno -”

“Your landlord called, I didn’t want to disturb you on your break - by the way I saw you sleeping you are not as sneaky as you think.” He interrupts you in the middle of talking, brushing his hair.

You frown, looking in disbelief at the boy, a little upset from the news. Touching your phone was okay, but taking a call and not saying anything, it just fell wrong.

“So why were you trying so hard to force me to talk?” The questions came a little more aggressive than intended, but who could you blame when your private life was exposed so easily. Truth being that you felt not as angry as embarrassed, never sharing such information before leaving them in the dark.

“I know you would be angry when I tell you about the phone - which I was right about.” He pouts looking somewhere in shame, like a child that was caught with sneaking sweets.

“But it doesn’t matter, what are you going to do without help? It’s not like our boss will gave you a rise from nothing, and do not even think about starting another job - we have studies, it would be plain stupid unless you ask your family for help, you never mentioned them but they would understand right?.”

“They sure would.” You sneer, standing up from the comfort of his lap. Your smile turned down on the mention of those people, it's not like you want to have something going on with them, it would be asking satan for help and that always comes with a price. “Thanks for everything Jimin, but I will be alright.” You add walking back to the hatstand where your hoodie hangs, grabbing it with your free hand, second one carrying the bag. Jimin's eyes follow you, surprised by the sudden movement and innocently big, like he waited for some better explanations - which he won’t get.

“B-but wait! Where are you going, don’t leave me like that!” You heard the shouts, desperate movements in the previous room meaning the boy tried to catch up, however you were long ago outside the cute coffee shop, starting the journey to your quiet apartment. Maybe it was mean, and maybe Jimin was too good to be treated like this, but your own mood was now too fragile to stay in the same room as the insistent boy.

Autumn wind welcoming you once again, cold weather sneaking inside your clothes, the light hoodie not doing any justice with such temperature - still it was the only thing you owned with better quality. Head full of thoughts a little overcrowded with a starting headache, not letting you walk in a peace you somehow needed just now.

Walk to your house - at least the recent one, was not one of the long one, rather passing as a nice stroll. And even though your shifts ended in night hours, the quiet and calm way never made you feel scared of any sudden dangers awaiting you on Seoul's streets. It was a nice neighborhood, one where families that were a little lower than middle class tried to make a living, keeping their kids in a safe environment. Happy smiles and laughs welcoming you sometimes in the morning, kids rushing to their own school, greeting you even after those months you stayed there, only making you nostalgic at the thought of leaving such a safe haven.

So it was more than surprising when a quick footstep rang in your ears, soon nearing you even faster. Your beating heart now rapidly knocks in your chest, as your eyes try to search for the reason for those sounds.

You didn’t need to search for loong, soon hearing the screech of a voice not so far from you. “Y/n! Wait for me!” It was even worse when the little man started to dramatically draw his hands to touch, however your concern only lay in the thought of waking up the whole neighborhood. Eyes slitted, an annoyed expression crossing your face at the sight of the panting boy, soon stopping before you, not without tripping and nearly taking you with him. “You… really want to kill me.”

Heavy breath hitting your face, his voice strained and tired from the miles he needed to run to catch up to you. You however were more than a little shocked - yes Jimin is stubborn, and yes he is the person to run after someone just because the said person lost a penny, but his appearance here was different. It was crossing the invisible line you both draw, accepting each other's bubble of comfort.

So the question still stayed, your face hard with a thundering gaze waiting for the boy to calm a bit.

“Why did you suddenly leave?” Seriousness leaked out from his tone, however the way his eyes scrunched only meant that he indeed felt a little hurt from your previous action. And you don’t even wonder why, knowing how your choices could wound the innocent boy. “Is it about your family? If its a soft topic we can never talk about it ag-”

“You want me to walk away again?” His eyes got bigger at your cold tone, his foot taking a step back. Your family, the topic you did not want to bring up today, explaining the harsh demeanor you suddenly took. Eyes however softened as fast as they met the boy’s hurted ones, a gulp of remorse sliding down your throat. “Look - I appreciate your help but I don’t need a person to be helpless with.” You took a step forward placing your hands on the boy's arm, squeezing it in reassurement. Looking him straight into eyes a sight left your mouth soon forming in a little awkward smile - the only one you could force yourself into. “You helped me enough, there is nothing else you can do, It’s not your battle to fight you have your own problems and asking you to take mine would be cruel.”

And how awful it was to turn back leaving him again, you did just that, giving him the last pat with a smile. His own mouth opening and closing, agape from the schock you probably left him. And you were sure that this time he will let it go, your words full of coldness not leaving room for arguments.

“But what if I do?” His voice stopped you in the middle of the step, freezing your form with a new squeeze in stomach. You did want to hope for nothing, feeling how your eyes got bigger in surprise, being so close to turning back to face the blonde boy. “What if I can do something?”

“Jimin we are over it - I won’t take any of your mo-”

“I didn’t mean that. I’m not that stupid to not understand first hundret times you made it clear.”” You turn at his clear voice, full of seriousness and unsaid promises. New thoughts fell over your messy mind, Jimin’s voice still ringing in your ears as well as the hot gaze he kept on you, fixated on your weirdly sluggish posture. You were more than confused, his help however not new for you, the sudden change of demeanor was like a bucket of cold water maybe pushing you into admitting that the boy indeed had some kind of solution. “Please try to listen to me first and please try to be open minded.” He adds taking a big breath making him close his eyes for a second, only to stare at you even more firmly, nearly hiding his shaky hands. A silent nod from you lighted once again the enduring fire of his eyes.

Now you were even more curious.

“What if I get you a client?” Innocent question, firstly confusing you even more with the weird words, the realization came with your mouth opening a look of disbelief crossing your eyes for a second even if you tried to remind yourself that you situation it's not the one to be judgy.

“You do-”

“Let me finish, please?” And you could not find the power in yourself to not give in. Looking straight into his gaze you closed your mouth, still hanging from the previous schock you experienced. “I was in the same place as you some years ago, a broke student without any help or hope - and I know what you want to say, but it's not as bad as it seems. You don’t even know how much I wish that at that time I had better option, but there was none and probably won’t be if I still want to chase my dreams The job is really not that bad, people don’t know, they do not need to know - even if they wanted the community of them would not allow it cause they want only that - discretion.”

You winced, the cold brushing your cheeks even more from the chill night, moon being your only source of light shining at boy’s figure like in some kind of movie. And to be completely honest, you indeed feel like in some kind of drama, emotions oozing from both of you in waves crashing in the middle with a tension to it. You didn’t want to seem rude, your face trying to stay some kind of neutral, however you knew that Jimin saw the first pull you unconsciously did, decided to let it slip instead looking at you with even more solemnity.

Yeah you knew about his past, history he one time told you in the middle of breakdown, then seemingly crazy and full of hardship, now you started to see yourself in the boy, his place now taken by you in the most awful way.

“It’s really not that bad Y/n” He whispers, voice full of softness you were thankful about. You felt breakable, the thought of actually doing it scaring you with how probable it really is. “I’m so sorry I can't do more, but it’s the only way I can help.”

You didn’t even realize when he came so close, touching your arm with his little bigger hands clenching it. Your eyes squeezed as your hands fell to your sides lifelessly, emotions now once again leaving you a little too suddenly, the grip you always had on your life slipping from your grasp with a gasp. It was hard, facing something you worked so long for only to ruin it because of such a thing as money. It was so funny, your own younger self laughing at you probably, telling you how your choices led you to that state.

“It’s really the end huh?” You didn’t need to look to know about the sad gaze he momentarily gave you. Arm sneaking around your shoulders, your posture seemingly smaller than normally, bringing you to the warm body of the blonde boy. Not a word said, only the silence being louder than aggressive shouting.

There was no need for a better explanation, your mind was already processing the idea of selling yourself to someone, and how shocking it could be that it never crossed your mind before. You can’t say the job disgusted you, you can't say it did not leave you with a sour taste on your tongue, like something is wrong with the image of you in such an environment again.

Again.

Well that was something that did not sit right with you, running away your whole life from it, now going back to the cave of a tiger - conscious suicade.

Face plastered on the surface of the brown coat, fluffy fabric brushing your face with every breath he took. The gesture leaves you with a heavy heart, not understanding why Jimin wanted to help you so much. Was it an obligation? Did he feel like he owed you something?

You just couldn't grasp the idea why, why was he so insistent, it’s only you in the end, a friend from the same coffee shop he worked in, someone who is not important in his life, someone who he will leave when the time comes. So why?

And maybe with the next gust of wind, a quiet whisper in your ear you realized deep down, that he was the first person in your life which genuinely cared for you. However the musky scent and heavy thoughts still repeated the same question, but you knew somewhere in your mind that it’s only a matter of time when the quiet suggestion will be proven.

“It’s getting late. You should go home.” A silent nod, your head still leaning on his shoulders, too tired to move. His hands petting your hair, a quiet hum leaving his mouth while he did it, melody not familiar, dancing in the silence of the night. You sighted taking one step back, immediately feeling a cold breeze hitting you, the source of heat now gone, making you shiver in the lighter clothes. Little smile screeching on your lips after you saw his worried gaze, sitting on your figure not planning to move.

“You too.” Sticking your hands into the big pocket of your hoodie, you turned your head in the way he came nodding. None of you moved, gaze met in the middle as you tried to not show how cold you really wera, body shaking in unnatural ways wanting to move for some kind of warm up.

He did not smile, even after your own stretched into a larger one, you decided not to pry and just turn around with a silent wave, head ahead of you eyes looking in the dark depths of the street where you lived. He knew you were not alright, gaze piercing you through every layer you tried to put in a situation like this, a copy mechanism you were not that proud of. And so with the head lowered you took the first step away not minding the still lingering stare on your shoulders.

The main worry now being the cold weather and little clothes that shielded you from it, the idea of the whole conversation put somewhere on the side.

However, he and you were pretty well aware of what is going to happen the next day.

In the end it's you who soon is not even going to possess own body.

----

Sleepless nights were not new, the feeling of tiredness you could not just wipe with the piece of the fabric a familiar one, the eyes trying to stay focused on things even though they were so hard to close themself for some sweet time, just to be forcefully open. Two words were enough for you to not hide the utter ache, you so perfectly masked in the middle of the coldest night.

And so maybe it was the cold keeping you awake in the dark, the blanket not enough to warm up your lifeless limbs, or maybe the lingering touches of the blonde boy that stayed even after so many afters after the whole conversation.

You felt weak, blinking in the grey room watching the wall like it would show something incredible, the scratches on it similar to the one you did when the stress was too much, decorating pieces of your skin like an art. The night was a big blur, hours now looking at the nonexisting stuff passed with a blink of an eye only to put you in another of the memories.

Blonde hair somewhere there scrolled in the side of your mind. Oh yeah, the said boy came the next day, look on his face too hard to forget as the next wall you built was just ruined.

He looked at you from behind his eyelashes with eyes dimmed with a sort of fog. Silence being the only comfort in the moment - early morning helping with it. He knew that this time the situation did not have many options, not any without any loss.

However he came, with a mind to let you help with thinking of any other ideas to help you, the conversation from the other night forgotten after he stepped in the gloomy apartament. And it doesn’t surprise you, the look you probably carried spoke for himself.

In his hands soon layed inconspicuously looking scrap of paper, tempting with his appearance like the most loucioust sin. He read it with squinted eyes, not needing a lot of time to find out what exactly the letter applied to.

What surprised him after such information is, how really the girl hid behind such an innocent facade, the new wave of respect crashed on him with the thought how strong you really are to not ask for help. The human thing was to linger, searching for attention so long to have someone finally do everything for us.

He had money, he had it so much that he could easily help her for next month, but he knew how every proposition like that would end up.

In the end they were really similar.

“Maybe there is another way.” He cut the silence, after a while regretting the action. Eyes met somewhere in the middle and both of their gaze was meaningful enough to answer his void of hope. “Have you tried to talk with the flat owner?”

Grimace on your face once again was enough, you shook your head remembering not the best meeting with the older man. “Many times. The guy is purely business oriented, he doesn’t care about your private life but if you pay everything - which as you can see I have a problem with.”

“I know that it’s a hard topic, but what about your family. There needs to be at least one person.” You looked down, carpet under your feets still fluffy and soft under your feet, the silence embracing you both. Jimin awkwardly scratched his arm, biting his lips in the process, the topic one again making your mood even worse. “Im sorr-”

“There is no need, it doesn’t matter anyway. My family is off limits when it comes to those types of things.” You cut him off, looking from the side at the little embarrassed boy. A sigh leaves your mouth as you lean on to your old couch, ruffling your hair after. “Jimin there is really no other way. Your option is the only thing I can do, even if the idea scares me.”

He looked at you with a small smile, the memories from his past coming back to him, when it was him who was sitting at your place, maybe with a different situation, but the fear in the eyes remained the same. He sat next to you, hand catching yours latching fingers with yours, as if that small gesture was supposed to pass everything.

And maybe it was like that, however how sweet and calming the motion wouldn’t be, nothing has been solved, and your decision it's going to change your life completely.

“You start to accept it with time.” He whispers tightening the grip on your head, the sentence seemingly had a bit more to the story. You guessed he tried not only to convince you both himself too.

Idea still fresh in your mind, hard to process it actually is going to happen, eyes meeting once again with the dark ones of the boy, millions of heistations flowing in the circle of your pupils.

“What If I don’t want to accept it? Jimin, I'm going to sell myself like some kind of animal.” You started, soon seeing how every word pierced the boy, a hurt crossing his face for a while. However he himself knew how his job was not something to brag about, something that should be kept to yourself.

“First - you are not going to be a prostitute, it’s their job. Second - you are not selling yourself, your body maybe, your time - yes. This whole messed up business, which no one truly understands, it's not only based on pleasure and successful bargain. The people you are going to provide services will require more, however you too will be able to demand - and that’s the difference.” He instinctively stood up, turning his back to you to hide his face for you.

You decided not to question that, the topic probably being equally hard for him. Following his figure, you listened to every word which could calm your buzzing nerves.

“Mone-” You started trying to guess about the demand he was talking about. The cash suggests itself in your mind. The boy quickly turned back, dark eyes catching your breath in the middle.

“Respect.” He finished, taking an earlier abandoned cup of tea to his hand. You were confused, your gaze spoke for himself, the utter questions building with every quiet minute he left you with. “Do you know why so few people are able to survive in such a business, or why so few people know about it?” He asked knowing fully he won't get any answer from you. He sighted brushing his blonde hair back, a little oliy from the last day of work, he came to the other side of the room sitting on one of the smaller tables just before you.

“You will need to play a role, you will become an actress in real life without the power to question your own character. People that are directors in fact are going to be your clients, giving you the script you will need to act on. In the beginning it’s going to be hard, but with time you will understand that you can either love it or you are someone who is not suitable for such a job.”

So many questions, which only bundled up with the said words. A weird twinge in your heart, forcing you to stop thinking about it like a sweet temptation, however the beautiful words he wrapped everything with stronger. The idea seems so easy, so free and so good, too good to be true.

You looked at him, the tiredness hitting you suddenly but so many not arranged issues kept you on your toes, so with the remaining power you sighed rubbing your eyes. You decided, your last way out.

“How i'm even going to start?” The question filled him with a relife, not understanding exactly why, the thought of having someone close in the same job loaded him with unanswered happiness. He gazed back, the look making you sit more comfortable forcing your attention directly at him.

“The clients are mostly the people you least expect to. Although they are not people which can afford a whore - lame millionaires or self-proclaimed gangsters. Don’t get me wrong but if they were them they could have just bought the random first person that is willing to do everything they want, for them however the most important is discretion and loyalty.” He started, stopping for a while to take out his phone and quickly search something on it.

With one move he showed you a picture of a man, you strangely knew. Black hair, similar to the blackness of the sky so different from the boy sitting just before you and a beautiful porcelain looking skin. He looked proud, even as a imagine the frozen photo oozing of confidence and power.

You knew those people pretty well, a little too well. Too proud for their own good and too proud to admit their wrongs, making money in such a way to not get attention if they are dirty or not. Familiar contempt towards others. You tried so hard to run away just from people like that, you hoped the clients Jimin was talking about are just the little CEO’s, not that important or dangerous.

And how ironic it was that you yourself are going to willingly put yourself in such a toxic environment again, people that are more influential than politicians and authorities. Next question popping on the side, how the blonde boy survived there without any knowledge.

“I see you can guess about who i’m talking about, and It’s not your first contact with them, right?” He started, brushing his hair once again, a habit you noticed. He needed to admit that your expression put him in uneasiness, look on your face nearly scared like a child that watched horror for the first time. He didn’t want to annoy the topic, leaving it in the air with the restless tension, instead he closed his phone hiding it back into his pocket.

His eyes still on you, your mind somewhere else as the quietness of the room started to spin around. The unanswered question lingered on your tongue, kept in the end of your mouth like some kind of secret. And as you thought it’s the end, the little ping came from the pocket he put his phone into.

“Well, I don’t know If you are interested but there is someone who is willing meet.”

[makeste]

hello! I’ve seen some debate as to whether the 2nd meant allies in general would bolster izuku and although I do think that’s true (ofc any sort of support system that he lets himself rely on would bolster him) I feel like if that was what was meant it would’ve been made clearer? maybe instead of just katsuki showing up, the final panel would’ve had several students burst onto the scene. what are your thoughts?

agreed. and incidentally this is another big reason why it's not Toga. if it was her then Horikoshi wouldn't have devoted any time to OFA II's little hype speech. it just makes it kind of pointless, unless this whole time we've been sleeping on Toga's hidden ability to bolster Deku lmao.

but anyways, yeah. and I mean, Two's commentary here is really just acknowledgement of something we've long since known already. Kacchan is the one who will ultimately be able to reach Deku. we don't actually need a piece of dialogue to tell us this, because the manga has been showing it to us since day one. his resume is fucking stacked. I mean, let's go through it.

he is mean.

I love this you guys. I honest to god love it. because the thing is, if you ask anyone what Kacchan's absolute worst quality is, this would be the obvious answer, right? "he's an asshole" lmao.

but that's exactly what we need right now!! someone who's not afraid to tell it like it is, and won't try to sugarcoat things. someone who's not afraid to argue back and risk hurting someone's feelings. because right now Deku is walking all over anyone who can't do that. All Might tries to feed him lunch and he's like "nah I'm good, anyways bye." Endeavor tries to tell him to rest and he's all "I'm fine" and fucking hangs up the phone. nuh uh. enough of that. what we need is someone who will call him out on his shit. "hah!? don't tell me you're fine when it's obvious to anyone you can barely stand on your own two feet, dumbass."

he is stubborn.

kind of ties into the other thing, but yeah. right now we need a bullheaded asshole who won't take no for an answer if he thinks he's right. good luck trying to sweet talk your way out of this one, Deku.

he understands the situation.

this one is important, because in fairness, simply standing in front of Deku and saying "you shall not pass" isn't gonna be enough to actually accomplish anything here. ultimately he's going to have to be able to reason with Deku too. and so in that respect, it certainly doesn't hurt that Kacchan is someone who understands the OFA situation as well as anyone, and has always had clear judgment about it. he understands the threat of AFO ("they all died young"), and he understands the burden of All Might's legacy. he knows what Deku is dealing with, and that's going to give him an edge when it comes to finding that elusive-yet-critical talk no jutsu knockout blow.

he's been where Deku is now.

Kacchan knows a thing or two about burdens. granted, they've more often than not been ones that he's put on himself, but that didn't make them any less heavy. Deku right now is struggling not just with his feelings of responsibility, but also with all of the misplaced guilt that's feeding into it. AFO is targeting him. if innocent people get caught in the crossfire then that's on him. every minute that AFO stays out there getting stronger and causing more chaos is all on him, because he hasn't defeated him yet. and so on and so forth.

and Katsuki knows what that's like. because he blamed himself for what happened to All Might. that feeling of "if I'd only been stronger" is one that he's intimately acquainted with. that feeling of blaming yourself, of not being able to look someone you care about in the eye because you think it's your fault they got hurt. this is something he knows. this is a road he's already been down. and so if Deku tries to pull any "you don't understand" nonsense, Kacchan is uniquely situated to immediately shoot that shit right down.

he's immune to low blows.

lol I keep thinking of all the different counterarguments that Deku could make, and all the different ways in which Kacchan is perfectly equipped to handle them. anyway, so this particular thing is a very recent development, but very fortunately timed. so as we all know, Kacchan was a first class dick to Deku during their childhood. something which Deku, with his abnormally kind and forgiving nature, has never once confronted Kacchan about, even though he would have absolutely had the right. but anyway, so here's the thing though -- right now I fully believe that Deku can and will do or say just about anything in order to get Kacchan and the others to leave. and that includes hurting them in order to save them. so it would not surprise me at all if Deku goes as far as to throw Katsuki's old, cruel, selfish behavior back in his face as part of a last-ditch effort to get him to back down. desperate times and all that.

and maybe there was a time when that actually would have worked. but here's the other thing -- we know something Deku doesn't. namely, that Kacchan has recently leveled up emotionally and has finally unlocked his atonement quest. he finally understands that it's not all about him. which means that it doesn't matter even if Deku pulls out the big guns. he may hurt his feelings, but he's not going to scare him off, because Kacchan's focus right now is on atonement, not forgiveness. he's not doing this for a pat on the head. he's doing it because it's the right thing to do. and no amount of insults will be able to sway him from that.

he learned from the best.

I said this in another post a couple of weeks back, but yeah. Angsty Nomad Deku has nothing on early Kacchan in terms of pushing people away. early Kacchan was the motherfucking king of pushing peeps away. if you so much as LOOKED at this kid in such a way that SUGGESTED you might even be THINKING about possibly trying to save him, he would straight up throw a ten-year hissy fit lmao. Deku's "All Might, you don't have to tag along anymore"s ain't got SHIT on all of Kacchan's "STAY BACK DEKU"s and "I'D RATHER LOSE!!!"s and "OMFG HOW DARE YOU BE THE ONLY PERSON TO TRY TO SAVE ME FROM THIS RAMPAGING SLUDGE MAN WHO'S ABOUT TO SUFFOCATE ME TO DEATH"s. Kacchan is the undisputed goat here lol.

but anyway, so what this means is that he has accumulated a whole HOST of iconic lines and fateful parallels which he can throw back in Deku's face at a moment's notice. and the best part is that he learned it all from THIS EXACT MOTHERFUCKER, RIGHT HERE. what is Deku even gonna do!! argue against his own past actions?? "well, uh, I guess now that you mention it I should have just sat back and watched you die all those times" OH REALLY?? YOU DON'T SAY. THAT SOUNDS SO CONVINCING.

and so guess what, Deku -- if Kacchan was worth saving, then you're worth saving too. it's an ironclad argument. congratulations son you played yourself.

he always wins.

okay so real talk, we all know that what's really driving Deku right now is his fear of losing people. he's helpless against that. he saw Kacchan get stabbed right before his eyes and it fucked him up. he saw all these other people getting hurt and killed because he couldn't save them, and he straight up could not deal with those emotions at all. he's scared. he's more afraid of that happening again than of anything else. and AFO knows that, and that's why he's resorted to his current tactics, which have isolated Deku even further and caused him to push even All Might away.

what Deku is missing right now, and what he needs to have restored, is trust. trust is the antidote to fear. and when you're as scared as Deku is, it takes an extraordinary amount of assurance in order to ease those fears. basically you don't want to place your faith in anything less than an absolutely sure thing.

but Kacchan is exactly that. this is the exact type of situation that Kacchan's "aiming for the top" overkill confidence was made for. he's the one who never loses!! the hero who's going to surpass all other heroes!! Deku inherited All Might's compassion, but Kacchan inherited his determination. Kacchan is someone who brings reassurance. his confidence is unwavering. and in the end, I think it will be strong enough to pull even Deku back out from the darkness.

he is strong.

Kacchan is Deku's rival in every sense of the word, and I fully believe he's capable of matching him step for step even now. and so Deku can try to push him away, but Kacchan is capable of withstanding that force and staying his ground. Deku can try to run, but Kacchan still has him matched for speed. and as a last resort, Deku can even try to defeat him -- but Kacchan won't ever concede to defeat.

and all of this ties back into what I was saying about trust. because Kacchan is strong. strong enough not to die. strong enough to live. strong enough to not make others worry about him. and that's what Deku so desperately needs right now in order to finally let go of his fears. Deku needs someone who can get him to trust in others again, and to do that, he has to be able to trust in their strength.

and last but not least...

he has a secret weapon up his sleeve.

several, as a matter of fact. his hero name reveal. his apology, if he chooses to give it now (though I could see him waiting for a more sincere moment, rather than whipping it out now when it could be misconstrued as a manipulation tactic). but perhaps most importantly...

never underestimate the power of an iconic role reversal. because that's what I'm getting at here, if it wasn't clear lol. this probably would have worked better if I had a picture of him actually reaching out to Deku. but I mean, that's kind of the point lol. I don't have one because he hasn't done it yet. BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE. good luck withstanding that, Deku.

so yeah. look at all that. he really is a one-man Deku-saving army. which is not to say that the other kids won't have a part to play as well, or that it's not important for them to be there, because it is. but as far as the lead role goes, it's Kacchan. like that astronaut meme guy says. always has been.

oh and as a bonus he was smart enough to finally leave the mask at home today lol. LET DEKU SEE THE SINCERITY IN YOUR EYES. YESSSSSSS.