#I think im going to take another break
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tbh i think volo would have been significantly more normal and fine if he hadn’t been hiding so much of his true feelings and personality. like when you deny yourself genuine human connection to that degree you’re probably going to come off as a machiavellian monster who wants to make the world and the lives of others worse, but looking at his actual stated motivations and intentions it’s clear to me at least that the guy is deeply empathetic and idealistic and more than anything disappointed that the world can’t be better
#volo#pla#i don’t even think the game wants you to think he’s That Bad#given the way laventon discusses him talking about the pokédex and peacefully/awkwardly leaving#the way his eyes go all weird makes me think they were going for almost a jekyll and hyde psychotic break thing#but people kinda projected another kind of villain trope onto him—the calculating immoral sociopath—and that’s the common interpretation#it’s like the opposite of when people look at villains who are meant to be completely terrible and find redeemable things about them#insisting that the writers wanted people to see those things as well#i might be doing that myself but just looking at the text and themes of the game it seems to me that you’re supposed to feel bad for him#rather than like violently hate him#even just with the way the player looks at him when he walks away#and that’s not even getting into shit that happens in pokemas#like sorry man volo unintentionally and incidentally prompting arceus to separate the train guys does not make him evil#that was arceus…#same with the player character although i think volo would have had more of a reason to tell them what’s going on#ingo was accepted in hisui#they weren’t#anyway sorry i just wanted to add my take to the many floating around#maybe im wrong or you disagree! that’s fine#but yeah
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im gonna start posting fanfic recs btw whenever i find good ones. both here and my (awfully barren) 18+ account. because there are so many good fics out there with so few hits and fewer kudos and sometimes no comments period and it SUCKS because i REALLY LIKE THEM A LOT.. and i hope that by linking them here and yelling at everyone to COMMENT DAMMIT they might actually do it
seriously though any comment means a lot. most people who read a fic don’t even give a kudos. even if the fic wasn’t top tier, if you didn’t dislike it, hand over some kudos!! and if you liked it, comment!!!! even if the comment is one singular heart emoji it will be appreciated. if the comment just says “great fic!” the author will be happy. your comment doesn’t have to be this long winded gushing or analysis.
so many authors quit writing or lose motivation because the comments are few and far in between or just sometimes nonexistent. trust me when i say authors don’t care about how long or cool or smart sounding your comment is i promise!!!
i hope that mmmaybe recommending fics and telling people to comment might help fics i really like get more support maybe. and i, points at you reading this, hope that you will listen!!!at least a little….at least sum kudos….
#if u have the ability to reply to my reblog saying how much you loved the fic i recommended comment on the fic itself so the author can see!#especially since the rise of ai writing and seeing ai fics out there can be disheartening#make sure you let your writers know you appreciate them#you never know they might one day write a sequel bc your comment touched them#or might get the motivation to make more works.#(but don’t just comment bc you expect something out of it btw. sometimes the author might be too intimidated to reply ive seen that before)#im a huge yapper. if you can’t tell. lmfao.#and i mostly comment on guest. like 99% of the time because the fics are either really embarrassing#or i get nervous about them knowing me/finding my tumblr and thinking im cringw#bc i admire authors so much. and I get that nervousness! given I experience it!!! but guest mode EXISTS!!! most work allows you to comment#on guest mode!! the author CANT see the email you use for it!!! the only reason they even ask is to give you notifs if theres a reply to it!#a comment is still a comment even if on guest or an alt or your main#even if the fic is embarrassing shameful depraved smut you can log out and comment on guest. even if it’s embarrassing#because the author still worked HARD. it’s so hard to write. people don’t give enough credit to fic authors who do it for free#i had an account (now super abandoned) that had over 400k words. and that didn’t include wips#i reallg do struggle to write because i took a break for so long!!! i can write but not nearly as much as I used to!!! and it sucks!!!#support your authors guys. 1k words is an hour for the first draft at MINIMUM and another hour for revision and editing. and people get#pissy if a fic chapter is less than 3-4k words for some reason. that’s 6-8 hours of work at MINIMUM. likely so much more because there’s#also plotting and brainstorming and So. Much. Editing. stressing out over words and sentence structure. it takes so much time out of your#day. the only oneshot i have posted on this account is 2460 words. and it took me SEVEN HOURS#seven hours!!!! that’s a lot!!!! and for authors that have school or demanding jobs that kind of time is hard to come by!!!!!#and I hope i have convinced at least one of you to listen and go okay you know what. i will. because even if it’s a silly comment it’s loved#tldr support your local fanfic authors of you will be so stabbed. by me#fanfiction#fanfic#archive of our own#ao3#comment on fics#wick fic recs#that’s the rec tag btw. wow custom tags AGAIN i know. im doing what i thought i never would
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GO HYDE GO! YOUR DOING AMAZING SWEETIE!!!
-lanyon, maybe probably
Tgs spoilers under cut

I’m not ok, the voices merging into Hydes own thoughts of insecurity is like the people are adapting to the new presence.
They realize this is more of Hyde yet dont have to do much because of how similar Hyde and Jekyll are.
Hydes thoughts of worthlessness are same as Jekylls before the potion and before the split, the feeling of worthlessness and mistake carried on through him.

GUYS GUYSSS THE GAYS!!!!
The stark contrast between mind Lanyon and actual Lanyon is interesting because it makes you wonder how Jekyll got that view of Lanyon in the first place.
Then you also have to consider that in this moment Lanyon is being vulnerable, he’s showing emotion because he truly cares for Hyde and wants to help him, but in university, when Jekyll probably made mind Lanyon because it was who he inspired to be, Lanyon was more closed off, having his walls up.
Lanyons closed off personality has back fired to make Jekyll have him almost becoming this enemy in his mind, someone who he always has to prove himself for when in reality Lanyon just wants him as himself.
Lanyon is showing that he just likes Jekyll for him with how he’s acting with Hyde, almost attempting to undo what he has done with embarrassing him and getting him out of this metaphorical jail of self doubt.
He is worried out if his mind for both of them right now and it would crush him to know that he may be a part of it but he also probably knows deep down that he is a part of it in some ways.

ITS THE RIBBON GUYS LOOK!!!! THE RIBBON FROM THE CHAPTER COVER PAGE!
It represents hope, security, and freedom in this moment, Lanyon pulling Hyde out of these thoughts is such an interesting story method and this will probably be what keeps Hyde from going to deep.
Lanyons hope will pull Hyde back if he needs to, Hyde wont get trapped in the mind (hopefully) if Lanyon is there and this is going to help Jekyll too.
Knowing that Lanyon is still there despite everything may help Jekyll, and having the proof of it will especially be great and this will probably be a big part in how to save Jekyll.

Sometimes i forget their British and then I see Lad and it all comes rushing back to me like “oh yeah, this is london”
He looks crazy and I’m all for it, finally fighting back instead of giving in, like he’s done over and over again, he’s sick of it and wont take it anymore.
“I dont hold this against you” now it is possible that Hyde is just joking but I wouldn’t be surprised if he holds it against Jekyll because they are his creations, everything they say and how they act is what Jekyll has thought up.
Yes, they are based on people in his life but they’re his interpretation of what they think of him. He doesn’t really know what they think but he’s scared of what it could be. (He’s so me guys/hj) but for real, i can relate to the mind people in Jekylls head.
I can think of times when ive put thoughts of what other people may think about me in my head even if it’s not true, im sure many people have had something similar to jekyll’s mind people. What Jekyll has made is a real thing put to a story and it feels interesting to see.
If Hyde squares up with the mind people though that would be pretty cool to see, finally working through the self doubting thoughts even if it is through a violent manner
#tgs#the glass scientists#tgs hyde#tgs jekyll#tgs lanyon#tgs mondays#tgs update#ace rambles#Anyway! This might be my last ramble for a while we’ll see what next Monday brings and how im feeling#t I think im going take a break because these are starting to feel more as a chore than just something that I want to do every week#and I dont really want it to be like that#so im just gonna step back and see. if inspiration really strikes me then i will make another one that week!#who knows this might not even happen because I might wanna write about the next update really bad
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i dont think the encore levels are actually happening. the idea that theyre maybe a simulation v1 is running as they die has been on my mind for a while but the new album art just gave way more fuel to that
#not that im married to that idea#i have another idea but i dont know how to word it. something something hell in v1#some other stuff i want to throw out there!:#the v1 coloured elevator#the continued theme of the levels breaking halfway through#especially after taking the red skull in 1-e#the weird clipping wall in 1-e (i dont think limbo would glitch like that. a computer simulation though!)#oh separate from that list#i think terminals are going to be important in the end game#i feel theres a reason the prime sanctum entries are about them#and the fact that the terminals run simulations for machines...#just some ultra_revamp day 2 thoughts#ultrakill#ultrakill spoilers
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thw world when im working on a conlang again

#AHHHHH#every time i take a break from conlanging and then get back into it it feels so good.#ok this is gonna be my second rework of my second conlang. i already tried earlier this year but it didnt really go anywhere#and i wanted to lowkey start another rework from scratch and i think im bringing in some cool ideas#actually did i even post about this lang? i called it raz then but im gonna give it a new name now i think#but yeah it has a weird gender system and animacy based word order and like a bajillion cases and i think#i might even do auxiliary verbs??? i dont think any of my clongs have auxiliaries lmao i kinda hate them#but yeah im thinking a fusional tense + aspect marker and then moods marked with auxiliaries maybe#also wanna play around with evidentiality#ramblings
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im almost done with sleeve 1, then i get to hope and pray i can crochet the other entire sleeve in one night :'))))
#OOMF#on the brightside uhhhhhhhhhhhhh#i was smart enough to go '.... yeah lemme swing by joanns for another skein right after work in case i run out and theyre closed'#guess who is about to run out fjajfjjsjf#anyway 👍#I've got another skein so#that means each sleeve is gonna just be One Full Skein of yarn lmao#the front/back panels were ALSO like 1 whole skein each almost#idk how long the sleeve is gonna end up last time i checked it was a little past my elbow#but i think I'll just finish the skein and we'll count from there#shh ac#crochet#im gonna take a like 30min break though cus MAN
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how do i tell my roommate that her cat repeatedly pissing on and destroying my things is something that people usually offer to clean or replace or apologize for instead of shrugging off
#there's always garbage scattered along the floor she has a million shoes that somehow end up under my bed#she fucking leaves her cat alone for days and days bc 'if he gets hungry he'll rip open the cat food bag' ?????#her cat killed one of her turtles bc of their shitty housing and the other one's visibly terrified to bask in the fucking#led light that gives off no heat that i TOLD her was wrong and unhealthy months ago#she never cleans said turtle's tank even though the algae bloom is currently insane#her shit takes up like 80% of the room for exactly zero reason#and i cant use my closet because rascal pissed in it over the month long break and she did nothing about it#meaning the whole closet smells so much like piss that any clothes that stay there will smell like piss#it's fucking filthy in here and she never cleans obviously but it also makes it harder for me to clean bc her shit's everywhere#can you please maybe just take some of the trash out before you go cheat on your boyfriend please#(<- at least im pretty sure that's what's going on? might be more of an open relationship)#your cat is fucking violent and filthy because you never hang out with him or clean anything#and next year i'll be gone (im Not living like this for another year) and someone else is going to put you into debt#charging you for the things your cat ruined or they're going to abuse him again and you don't even seem to care#bc you're too busy buying sorority merch and thinking about new tattoos and shit#i want broke ppl to have fun and to buy/do things that make them happy but her negligence literally has a body count now#bc she refuses to keep a turtle she's had for over a year in anything but shallow unprotected tupperware#a small glass tank isn't that expensive especially not compared to tattoos!! you Can save for this#and more importantly you Should have saved for this before getting a fucking living thing in your house#she kept her dead turtle rotting in our room for about three weeks. just. in a cup by the sink#and there's nowhere the cat can't reach so im terrified every time i leave that he's gonna piss on my mattress or something#that i'd be financially responsible for (or else that'd leave the poor inheriter of this room in filth) and couldn't really clean properly#and unfortunately i like talking to her so much and im so dogshit with confrontation that i never say anything#world's biggest sucker award!! fucking. christ on a cracker#like he's pissed on my SHOES. he's scratching up everything in here#and i don't want to pay outta my ass or spend a bunch of time trying to fix her cat for her#because contrary to popular belief i have shit to do!! i do not have the energy to have a cat That's Why I Don't Have One!!!!!#and i can't go to the RA bc she's not supposed to have any of these animals#if rascal gets taken from her chances are he's gonna get euthanized at our local shelter and i can't take him in bc of my dogs#but why doesn't she ever stop to think about how this might be affecting me?? my standards are not that high!!!!
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Hear me out (or don't... it's fine I'm just venting and mean) yeah um I don't believe Chakotay was saved in Prod*gy s2.
#the 'time travel' makes no sense when you think on it. What happened to Prime Chakotay? He got killed they showed that.#At the end s1 Janeway finds an 'alternate chakotay in an alternate timeline' and that's the one they go and get#we saw the original get merc'd in the message. That ACTUALLY happened. Lmao.....#They didn't prevent THAT death because they didn't go to THAT Solum with the Infinity and stop it from happening#instead it was 'ALTERNATE#' implying other.#OG Chakotay wasn't taken over by the alternative one either nothing suggests that was the direction for him in s2#they didn't do anything like 'well you see chakotay because at the end of s2 when we converged timestreams you have merged with your other'#if they did want to recover the original from s1 then keep that clear instead of being convoluted dont use an alternate timeline wtf#instead the plot was focused on gywns stupid fucking paradox plot and her being fixed#chakotay was the one in a paradox too did that not matter nah dw about it he had to die for this outcome or someshit lmao why#In the extended message given to admiral janeway it shows him clearly getting left behind and surrounded. Sadly no one intervened.#I dont understand why they couldnt have just made s2 about his rescue alone IF they took their time it wouldnt be so difficult#to follow#above that the one they rescued was ruined by the 10 year gap so he wasn't 'saved' at all. God i hate s2 when you break it apart#I dunno the more i look at s2 Janeway and Chakotay the more upsetting it is. Janeway would NOT have settled for an imposter.#everyone going goo-goo gaa gaa over s2 but it's sloppy af imo and undermines a huge portion voyagers struggles#id really like them to flatly lay out their ideas because literally nothing ive heard explains the story or choices of s2 with conviction#instead it's oh clap for wesley or the new vulcan and other references yay#describe to me your timetravel clearly and i'll happily take a seat on it (there is still other crap stuff mind you)#this is the most repressed shit i my head i swear#im angry because s1 is so clearly mapped out to a brilliant degree and for whatever reason it's not in s2#i can see through it#insultingly people are eating it up and claiming it's better than ever nah dawg embarrassing#there are nice ideas inside s2 but they arent adequately rewarded#it doesnt compare to the timetravel in other trek because they kept it clear#i mean it could have been an interesting parallel to endgame but in the end janeway didnt even rescue him lmao they dropped her#why bother building up this mission only for her to give up and go 'i'll hand it over because im told to'. Janeway had fuck all this season#let alone settle for not fixing her own timeline and her own friends deadly circumstance dw just grab another one from the shelf i guess#the emotional fallout was absolutely missed because they didnt elaborate on anything. Plenty of show but no substance from the characters
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ok yk what. now that i’ve had some time to process nghy canon, considering the current pacing of gen retcon, i think their next step is as ✨clear as day✨

i really like seeing them happy together, but i truly do think that they should divorce and either live the rest of their lives as single besties; partners in hero/heroine-isms, but better off as just friends, or go their separate ways for a bit and get back together when they’re a little older and wiser, staying together for good this time around, as each other’s first and last boyfriend/girlfriend
#‘haven’t you had quite enough of pushing your divorce agendas??? like with lxl????’ no. never.#idk i think part of their charm was nagisa’s patience and genuine earnest love for hiyori#and hiyori’s determination to achieve her goals of becoming a true heroine in every sense of the word…#but the current pacing is kinda… um. i really love how nghy is now truly canon ofc. but… it feels too rushed?#like they’re just checking off a box on a ‘relationships to go’ checklist?#and nagisa’s sudden second confession? in a throwaway line? what was that all about man… when did that even happen? excuse?#i think it’d have been more meaningful if hiyori was the one to confess without any prompting (to lead to their relationship)…#and. uh. don’t take this the wrong way but… noontea seemed a little peer pressure-y to me.#it kinda felt like juri and chizu were pressuring hiyori into getting a bf… it’s been eating away at me ever since i tried to tl it. but.#…idk. point is. i think a relationship built on those foundations (peer pressure/fomo and a suddenly persistent guy(???)) is doomed to fail#and so i think nghy should divorce. maybe they’ll reconnect romantically in a few years#(fulfilling nagisa’s agreement to be hiyori’s ‘last bf’ as well as having been her ‘first bf’ during their first try at a relationship)#or they could just be besties till the end of time; having been each other’s hero and heroine once upon a time#ik hw doesn’t do breakups of their main couples (not since nakimushi kareshi eons ago i think…)#but i think they should give it another go for nghy. maybe it’d make their love story a little more compelling#and maybe we could all unite under the cheers of hoping that ng and hy get back together in the future as more mature adults…?#idk i just. think the ‘right person; wrong time’ trope could work for nghy#like how it went in sukiuso/heroika with nagisa’s failed confession#even then they were the right person for each other; it just wasn’t the right time for them to date (personal goals/long distance/etc)#so maybe. this time ‘round even though they’ve started dating circumstances could still pop up here and there and maybe…?#…but idk~~~~~~~~ maybe it’s just the 5am thoughts or something that’s finally putting my incoherent trains of thoughts into words…#point is!!!!!! the current pacing is awkward!!!!!!!!! nghy deserve better!!!!!!! and their love story needs to be treated with more care!!!!#idk are hw trying to speedrun nghy for h10w bc nghy’s. like. a mix of different features of their previous couples#which would make ‘em the perfect couple to bring h10w together(???) or something???#but idk. im still really really happy the nghy is canon but. there are some mixed feelings here and there too…#idk dudes this has gotten way too long for its own good so ig i’ll stop here…#live laugh love nghy canon but… i still think they should break up for *at least* a year or so to reasses their relationship#sorry nghy… it’s for your own good i swear… i truly want you to be happy together!!!! i really do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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It's so miserable making side characters for a story and getting attached because now not only are you obsessed with a guy that only exists in your head even if they existed out of your head they'd still be basically just in your head. Like no you guys have to trust me they're so deep and intricate no none of this stuff ever comes up you just have to believe me and like them as much as I do
#rat rambles#oc posting#ofc then comes the fight of wanting to make them more relevant but having to pick your battles#bonus points if theyre not even a side character theyre like. a shadow on the wall thats implied to exist. screams.#bonus bonus points if you can't even bring them up because itd give away stuff the audience isn't supposed to know#I am eternally obsessed with Them but I cant ever talk abt Them because its pretty important to me that I keep this particular secret#in general Ive been trying to not talk abt this story plot wise too much because I wanna make it real someday but man it's rough sometimes#especially since theres just full characters that as I currently have things planned wont even come up in the comic#well They kind of will. but only barely. as in their existence will be implied. and we'll only sort of see part of them like once.#and I love them so much theyre so silly and fun plus their mere existence adds a whole other layer to a member of the main cast#but I have already decided I will not be revealing this stuff to the public so they remain trapped in my head#plus even if I did reveal them no one currently would give much a shit lol#I gotta make the comic real first and then in like another decade I can maybe post a sketch of them <3#but first I have a billion other things I need to do before Im ready to start that comic#including but not limited to finalizing raiden's design 😔#after taking a hill break and thinking on it some more I have someeeee ideas of how to maybe improve things?#my main two goals now are to make their silhouette more plush like and make their clothes more fantasy esc#and I have some extremely vague ideas for both but nothing concrete#I might mess around with shifting them to having traits from a different animal#I dont want to but if it helps with the silhouette problem then I think its worth considering#but yeah I think the big issue is that the rest of the cast are mostly built out of large simple shapes while raiden has bits that arent#mainly their tail but I also feel like theyre just lacking notable defining shapes in general#so the goal is to give them more noticable shapes in their design and make the silhouette even more simple#no I dont know How Im going to do any of that but Ill figure smth out eventually#not tonight tho its late
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anyways. my very first attempt at malenia
#elden ring#my post#this starts late (?) bc i didnt want to get the cutscene in the clip but fumbled to start the recording bc she does kinda rush you#and i was not at all prepared#anyways im genuinely tempted to just write a long post dumping my thoughts on malenia and her fight and how im puzzling through it#ive reached peak intrinsic motivation elden ring#the only reason why i probably should wait to make the post is bc ive only gotten as far as first phase half health#i have another recording thats abt a minute and a half long attempt and i gave it a few tries today#its worth mentioning that the night before i decided to finally start fighting malenia i told my friend (who managed to beat her) that bc#a lot of the last few endgame bosses didnt take me too long to beat i was worried that malenia wouldnt take me very long#and he just told me she would throw me into a meat grinder. and i lasted 12 seconds against her after that intro cutscene#anyways the fact that she's a very straightforward and easy to see boss makes it very easy to break her down and figure out how she#works n why she's hard and figure out a plan and everything i really like it. no particle effects just some sparks and sword trail lines#i keep getting caught by her flurry attack n today my plan (while talking to my friend) was to figure out why i kept getting caught by#it despite it being very obviously telegraphed n then putting together why i struggle with it. its REALLY fun to think technically abt her#anyways. fun part abt me getting killed by the grab + impale is that i honestly wasnt sure if that was actually implemented in the game#bc id never seen it in gameplay and. here we go. ten seconds in there it is
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Not to get deep here or anything but i really think i dont want to have a relationship with my sister anymore and ive been reflecting on that a lot. like sure she didnt abuse me or really do anything to directly traumatize me, but she voted against me having human rights because im queer, as well as voting for a party that wants to harm first nations people despite both of us being first nations i just.... i dont think i can forgive her for that. weve had laughs and good times together but i find myself unable to forgive her for her politics. i wouldn't tolerate bigotry from anyone else, i shouldnt tolerate it from someone just cause theyre family.
#can anyone provide me guidance on this? ill bring it up with my therapist but i dont see her for another week#anyways im making myself cry late at night whats new lol ive been processing a lot this week#ok eta: and theyll always make you feel bad for this!!!!!#theyll be like ''ok so everyone has to bend to your commie regime to have a relationship with you 🙄''#like yeah actually you do#if you really loved me like you claim to you wouldnt be FUCKING VOTING FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO TAKE MY RIGHTS AWAY#yes you do have to respect my rights if you want to have a relationship with me that is completely reasonable#whats ACTUALLY unreasonable is you asking me to ''just get over'' the fact that yall support people who think i shouldnt have human rights#right wingers will try to gaslight you into believing basic human decency is an unattainable and torturous request#then when you get upset theyll be like ''god the left is so emotional 🙄''#like yeah. i am. and you should be emotional too about human rights violations. the fact that youre not is pure evil.#anyways ill go cry myself to sleep like a faggot now#it just breaks my heart that i dont have any immediate family members who dont blatantly hate me for being queer/first nations
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when the competition is making me cry in 10 seconds and your opponents are my parents
#bro wow this has to be some kindof personal record twice in one day#morning for mom evening for dad#did thy talk aboit it discuss it that you take these points I'll take these we'll be done in 10 secs flat#i don't understand what's happening period is over but i still can't stop crying i cried yesterday too#it usually is like numb numb numb period week numb again#but why won't it kick in this time#he's just so fucking efficient man wow#literally he said 3 things in 10 seconds and the dam opened#first he shouted about something and i tried to defend myself but then he got soo mad and even tho i hd a perfectly#reasonable exception i had to shut up and accept my mistake because at that point i was already on the verge of crying#and i knew if i dragged it out i wouldn't be able to say another word without bursting and then he'd get even more mad for crying in public#and embarassing him#and then it was about something related to my brother and he was like#talk to him properly what's wrong with you he's going to go away in a few months then will you ever even see him#which fuck is such a big fear of mine something that's already made me cry because ive fucked it up#and he hates me now and i think we'll never reconcile he thinks we should be the kind of siblings who meet on festivals and that's it#and i tried to like bond more but he just hates the entire family and wants to leave us behind no exceptions#and then in the same breath dad is like your sister is already gone abhi dikhti hai kya aas paas#like bitch?? could you be less efficient what the fuck that was the killing blow#i went from confused to trying to not cry so fast like fuck she's the only person in the world who made living with you#bearable of fucking course i notice she's not here i miss her all the time#like yeah just tell me i will keep losing everyone why don't you see if i can hear it without breaking down#and i just felt so fucking helpless like can't stand up for myself because i will lose and i have to play the long game#take his money get my education but fuck man the education i can't breathe under the pressure of it all his demand#for full tests and these fucking subjects im not made for this and trying to do it all alone because he#shifted us here in the middle of nowhere no friends and yesterday he was like oh yeah we'll move back home im bored now#like fucking hell man how many times will you do this? already did it when i was 15#and on top of that mom is complaining about him to me like bitch you won't leave him you'll make#us suffer through hell because you're a coward and you want me to console you?#god fuck this i hope he dies i hope she dies i hope we all die
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I think that part of what like. kills me about the whole media literacy and critical thinking aspect of enjoying media these days is that people refuse to like. contextualize that
A. Bad media can still hold significant meaning to people
B. Media made for a demographic you aren’t apart of is not inherently bad media
C. Media made for and consumed by the opposite demographic is not inherently shallow or flawed nor is it above criticism for its media tropes either.
#unimportant thoughts#i dont feel like dropping specifics in post but like. people online drive me legitimately insane#good example is Ready Player One. its an okay book but people LOVE to hate on it for being a shallow nostalgia grab for old male demographic#and like. yeah. but also comsider that it Was written earnestly by a man in that demographic? and that people enjoyed it???#and maybe im soft hearted but my Dad was a nerd in the 80’s so both of us reading that book and comparing our experiences with it and#learning about his childhood from him. it was awesome yk??? was the book groudbreaking or particularly moving? no#are there a lot of fair criticisms you can make about the book regarding its poorly written female characters and painfully male tone#throughout? absolutely. its not the most vile piece of media its barely mediocre and its not the best thing since sliced bread either#and it kills me because instead of being able to have conversations like thay#people just attack and attack and attack and ATTACK#I don’t know i think the rise of this booktook wattpad level romance smut is another big part of this#are those books incredible? no. definitely not. are they decent? yeah theyre fine enough#are their characters shallow; do they follow tropes; are the characters clearly romanticized objects for us to googoo eye over? yeah#so fucking what??? they arent winning pulitzer prizes theyre just popular online and easily accesible#people love consumbable media thats not an inherently bad thing#and i think its hypocritical for people to defend one and attack the other or even to attack both#media doesnt exist to be appropriately Deep and Meaningful before people are allowed to consume and enjoy it#like. i think theres a LOT of levels of undestanding compassion and respect that people need to reach before these conversations are worth#anything. because right now it really feels like girls and boys arguing back and forth on the playground over whos show is better#anyways. i could go on but i wont.#bottom line i suggest you take a deep look at how ‘realistic’ and ‘meaningful’ the media you enjoy actually fucking is before you start#critizing other media for being too shallow or unrealistic depictions of something#hate to break it to you guys but 90% of fictional characters are fictional and dont act like people irl ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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ok i'm going to sleep but for the first time in months there has been progress on my quest to quantify how much dialogue each Star Trek character has!!! i've located and fixed the mysterious error that was giving me grief last time i was working on this project and now know what i need to get done — basically just making graphs for each individual character per season and then writing up the relevant tumblr posts with a brief interpretation. i did TOS tonight and it took about 2 hours so fingers crossed i'll knock the rest of them out in a few days and can finally share my results!
#i could release the masterpost i wrote up now but i want to put everything out at the same time because all the data is on one sheet anyways#and knowing me ill take another 6 month break lmao#i was trying to figure out a way to do cross-show comparisons for so long but i couldnt figure it out besides looking at the captains#i had a few other cool analysis angles but all of them got too confusing + too small sample size#i did end up doing a gender & race comparison because i think thats genuinely useful (and has interesting results)#my brain is kinda friend though because the tos was definitely the most boring of the data bc its not an ensemble show#but it felt weird to *not* include it yknow#okay okay im going to sleep#just had to update yall with my fun friday night plans#sometimes i just think about how long ive been working on this and cry (about a year and a half)#my posts
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playing the social game at office job already exhausting, witnesses report
#do you ever realize you missed a social cue and want to scream#im like 95% sure my boss has been like. conspiring to keep me at part time hours#when literally he could have just talked to me#i am so cooperative bro#like have you seen when herding dogs get stressed because they dont know what theyre supposed to be doing? yeah#im just a bit dense sometimes#i forgot he said during the interview that he WANTED me to start at part time hours#and i forgot there was like a legal difference between part time and full time employees#like i said. bit dense sometimes. im very smart but i miss things#anyway he was like 'why dont you just work 10-5 this week'#and there was this vibe of like. he didnt want me to work full hours & i couldnt figure out WHY#he was like 'oh we dont want to burn you out' & i was like. ok#i thought maybe they didnt have enough for me to do b/c im still training & i commented on that#& everyone was like 'oh we have so much work for you lol'#theyre behind on Webbed Site#and he reeeeeaaally emphasized how important it was that employees take their full lunch break#and i thought. huh. good that he cares i guess#and when i asked for a specific day off & to go home early another day they just immediately agreed#like fast enough that it seemed Odd to me#idk bro maybe im just reading into things too much but it explains like 4 things i was confused about#occam's razor right?#10 to 5 minus an unpaid 1-hour lunch works out to exactly 30 hrs per week#part time is < 30 hrs per week and full time is >= 30#so that would still put me at full time if it was 10-5 every day but my boss might not know which way the >= goes#and it isnt every day because i asked for a day off#i miss how straightforward retail was lmao#like it sucked in many ways but at least they were very clear about their expectations#personal#i think im going to ask for fewer hours next week. im tired
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