#I think he'll figure it out eventually
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I think it's obvious GD has been smoking way too much over the last 10 years and his throat is very damaged. now that he's back to performing I think he's still trying to figure out what sounds good on stage. but power at yb's concert was not it 😶🌫️
#I'm allowed to say it#I thought what he did at gayo was fine#haven't seen too many clips from paris except him and yb#but man today was roughhhhh#I think he'll figure it out eventually#but I'd be interested to hear how he sings untitled today
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
I know the decision to have Julian's parents have him augmented was made on the fly but imo its pretty obvious from early on that Julian has Family Issues because he avoids talking about his family like the plague and I think they should've incorporated this into the Julian and Sisko dynamic right from early on because I think it would've made for some really compelling stories and moments and could've set up a REALLY interesting Julian and Jake dynamic which they kinda started to do but never fully went for
#star trek: ds9#julian bashir#benjamin sisko#jake sisko#s1 Julian being so young and eager to prove himself and latching onto Sisko as this mentor figure to look up to#seeing Sisko with Jake and low-key seeking that fatherly figure connection which he won't even let himself think about#Sisko seeing this young brilliant doctor who's got all the makings to be something great and he's just GOTTA help him along#I think he would also catch on pretty quick that Julian's got Parental Issues#he tries to ask one day all casual like 'tell me about yourself :)' and Julian talks about nothing but Starfleet and med school#any attempts to ask about his family are met with awkward brief answers and redirections#and then theres the way Julian's eyes light up the first time Sisko invites him to watch a baseball game#like he Knows. he's a dad he Knows somethings up#but he doesnt pry#I also think it makes their dynamic more tragic towards the end of the series#where we have Sisko asking Julian to compromise his morals again and again#Julian's trust and respect for him gradually deteriorating#and then at the end of course Sisko is gone and they have no idea when he'll be back#which I think Julian would have a lot of complicated feelings about#but of course theres also Jake#I imagine they'd get closer#very brotherly dynamic#you know that scene in TNG where Wesley goes to Riker for girl advice and Riker and Guinan start flirting?#absolutely happens but with Jake asking Julian for girl advice and Julian wooing a girl at Quark's and Jake absolutely loses the plot#makes the events of ...Nor the Battle to the Strong more intense as well I think#also I like to think there'd be an episode where the B plot is Jake gets mad at Sisko and impulsively decides to move out#ends up at Julian's because he did not think this through#Julian is now very much caught in the middle of this family drama and he Fucking Hates It#also him and Jake are NOT compatible roommates but he's trying so so hard to be nice#eventually they have a talk and Julian cryptically hints at his own home life and tells Jake he's lucky he has a dad who cares so much#them being closer would work into what Alone Together sets up for them
197 notes
·
View notes
Note
Rens body wandering off is really funny. I wonder, is Martyn a ghost too somewhere? Or is Doc around?
I can't decide if I want to have had Martyn died alongside Ren or if he died somewhere else later. If he died at the same time as Ren then obviously it's safe to make the assumption that he's fully not around as a ghost. If he died off somewhere else we may never know. I kind of like the idea of it being ambiguous in the same way what happened to Havers is ambiguous in the show. We never learn where he died, when, what he went on to do after Cap's death, if he's a ghost somewhere. I like that idea for Martyn and Ren.
Idk though maybe there's a fun plot to be had somewhere where Grian runs into Martyn's ghost somewhere off in town and recognizes him from Ren's incessant talking about him and we get Grian having to act as like a go between for them to communicate. I'm not making that officially canon rn but it's a fun idea to think about.
I do want to have Doc around as one of the living characters, I think in some way connected to Etho's past. Whatever Etho was running from when he moved way out to the middle of nowhere in England by himself, Doc was involved. They were really close friends, and Doc has been looking for him ever since he fell off the map. Doc finally manages to hunt him down after ten years, probably through Grian and Joel's involvement. Maybe something to do with the ghost hunting gangs videos. Either way Doc shows up at Etho's door and has some fucking questions. Such as: "Where have you been for the last ten years" "Why did you just fucking disappear?" "What happened to your face did you get mauled by a fucking bear??" "Why do you keep talking to the air like a crazy person?" "Did you know you are a fucking terrible liar?"
I like to think this is like just after Etho and Hels have started to make peace after a bit of intervention from Grian and Joel, but then Doc, who has actually been surprisingly chill up until this point about the ghost stuff since he figured it out, puts together the puzzle pieces of what happened and is like "A GHOST DID FUCKING WHAT TO YOU?? AND YOU'RE STILL LIVING HERE???" and now Etho who was just starting to get comfortable again has to deal with both his past with Doc and with Hels at once.
#atlas speaks#hc ghosts au#I haven't fully decided what I want to have caused Etho to run away to the middle of nowhere england yet obviously#i'll figure it out eventually#I feel like etho is just a runner. things start going wrong in his life and he packs up and leaves#that's proably how he met doc#it's probably what he'll try to do again in this sub plot#i think the only reason he didn't after what happened with Hels was because he didn't have anywhere else to go or the money to do so
67 notes
·
View notes
Text
obsessed with ideas of what a fight between those two would look like...
#update: my brain tried to kill me but it didn't work and also i can legally drive now#cats the musical#my art stuff#munkustrap#the rum tum tugger#i have yapped about this endlessly to people but ill harp on it one more time. i don't think either of them would back down if sufficiently#like. annoyed? set off? by each other#because i think in general situations they'll both back down. munkustrap will back down when it's not worth it and it's better to just let#tugger posture. and tugger will back down if with a bit of posturing still if he can see that munk actually won't budge because#actually fighting him just isn't worth it. like i feel like they have a fairly good sense of which one of them should just let it go in a#given situation#i'm looking at them partially as cats and partially as people lmao. i think in a situation where the arguing topic is one that actually#matters to both of them and they disagree - this drawing is on an argument about griz i thought of fx - they'll be locked in a bit of a#standstill until they can figure themselves out. in this situation the way i have it in my head tugger would back down but he would not wan#to. he'd just know munkustrap's standing his ground on this one and there's nothing he can do about it so he'll just turn tail and#scamper off eventually#cue silent treatment for a week or something#and then they take a few naps together and life is beautiful again#bazinga
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
why dont you go sit in the river and maybe you'll feel better
#original#ocs#Diana Kamara#oc art#artists on tumblr#uhhhhhh i love her crazy style. thinking of her always always#girl idk go sit in the river and forget the slowly encroaching horrors. what else u gonna do#slowly getting a hang of her style of dresses. methinks shes got the patterns#pros: fleshing out her personal tastes. cons: i have to draw it#eventually i will give her the actual complex patterns that she deserves. not today tho u get some basic flower motifs and thats it#this one was fun!! figuring out how i wanted the water to look was an interesting little puzzle and i dig how it turned out#also the lighting on her. was gonna do some dappling but decided i didn't want to so that'll be for a later date#auch diana. she doesn't do things like this much. but i think she'd go a little crazy if she did it never#everybody thinks maybe diana will rub off on julian and he'll pick up his act#nay. he rubs off on her and she does shit like sitting in the river in the woods#it's spring here methinks. girl it's gotta be cold#but. yaknow. spring is a season#but i dont have space in these tags to get into all that. spring is a season and she's in the river. same as it ever was
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dave: the thing about time loop jokes is, sure, they may be repetitive, but they never get old
#homestuck#incorrect homestuck quotes#dave strider#mod terezi#well i think he'll figure it out eventually
80 notes
·
View notes
Text
y'know im thinking about how kuwabara really only calls yusuke by his first name when he's talking to other characters about yusuke, and how he never claims yusuke's his best friend (iirc. although yusuke does in the eng dub when he's beating him up post dt toguro fight lol) and those times he trails off when he's trying to express what yusuke is to him and what his final words to him should be
like. what were you going to say gayboy 😶
my point is he skirts around the issue in ways that still reveal a great deal of emotion. he's not good at bottling it up, so he funnels it into stuff like this. yeah 👍
wait nvm im not done im also thinking about how yusuke tells keiko he's protective of kuwabara when he's about to do the bike chase in chapter black (STOP MESSING WITH MY GIRLFRIEND), which is partially bc he (like the rest of the team) doesn't see him as equally capable but also bc like. he loves him and wants him to be safe.
so there's this THING where they only ever express their feelings when the other's in trouble/presumed dead ("you're supposed to be here... for me....." sir this is a wake) but yusuke is still more bluntly honest about it than kuwabara is. he'll say kuwabara's his best friend while beating him up or that he's protective of kuwa when he's not around, but he still says it very directly. whereas kuwa can't quite get it out even when yusuke can't hear him (but he's still trying to reach him, i.e. the wake scene, the kuwabara agony hour when he's trying to convince him not to die to sensui). he can't quite say what yusuke means to him, more like.. conceptual things. you're supposed to be here for me = a statement on how the world should be and the essence/role of yusuke in it, especially regarding his purpose in kuwabara's life story. there's nothing wrong with guys needing each other = a statement on how the world works and, indirectly, how kuwa needs yusuke.
[this is kinda interesting when taken in context of kuwa's rejection of these notions of rules and designed paths, which allows him to escape itsuki's creature just in time to watch urameshi kick it again. "what the hell could be the reason for this?" (said after protesting that "it doesn't fit the rules", that he's supposed to "power up and save the day" seeing him hurt) is a rejection of the rules that he tried to express/justify his feelings for yusuke with (it's only natural that i'd feel this way about you kinda sentiment), those justifications that did not reach yusuke, nor let him save yusuke (how fitting, that yusuke would break those rules for him). ANYWAY]
contrast all that indirectness (also include things like him sacrificing his life energy to save yusuke post-suzaku fight, literally giving his life for him) with how yusuke blurts these things out directly because he's panicking. his indirectness is more in urging him to let him help during fights and preparing to intervene (a trait we see with kurama as well, though only during the bakken fight when he's literally unconscious and thus helpless) despite being threatened by kuwa himself, meaning interference could damage their friendship.
anyway my point is men will say anything Except that they're madly in love with their best friend slash rival 🙄🙄🙄 good thing yusuke's not a man phew
#adding a little nb yusuke in there at the end. for me#oughhhh biting my knees biting my knees im gnawin#also ignore the doubled audio i messed it up and didn't feel like fixing it :p#kuwabara confess your feelings for your best friend challenge (impossible)#yyh#yu yu hakusho#kuwameshi#kazuma kuwabara#aughhh#yusuke urameshi#they make me so so sick kuwabara is gay pining like no one's done before (<- not true and thats part of what makes it hurt sm)#and yusuke's like oh we're gonna push that down sooo far i am dealing with that later ok i have shit to do#and also i think he just. needs a lotta space and conscious effort to understand what he's feeling at all#so i feel he's. probably not gonna figure it out for a while. but i like to believe he'll get there eventually :>
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Frozen Lake
It was the third day since he had stopped feeling like dying.
About a week ago he had woken up from his far too lifelike fever dream and a few days later the last spikes of the fever itself had been gone too just like the hallucinations it had brought in his sleep.
He still had been sick though and welcomed Rael telling him to stay in bed until he was perfectly healthy again all too eagerly.
While he still sneezed every now and then, it was at least tolerable now, still annoying but he didn’t feel incredibly uncomfortable anymore.
That day, just like the last and also the ones before that, he had awoken late. Against Rael’s order to stay in bed he had found the courage to get up and take a look out of the window. It was a sunny day, which in Coerthas still meant that it was bitterly cold though. But the sun was shining brightly and already high in the sky too which meant it had to be almost midday. He had slept way too long again, way to many hours for a surprisingly dreamless sleep. Or maybe it was exactly the lack of dreams that allowed him to finally rest, after all in the past there rarely had been good ones…
For a moment he considered to go downstairs and ask for a late breakfast if that wasn’t too insolent given the late hour but then a knock sounded from the door.
Quickly he hurried back to bed, just in case it was Rael, but the person who carefully peeked into the room a few seconds later wasn’t a viera.
“Ah, you are awake! That’s good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and brought a small tray with hot soup and also something warm to drink. “It is so late already, you must be horribly hungry. Alphinaud checked in on you earlier but you were still fast asleep and he didn’t have the heart to wake you.”
A little uncertain on how to answer to that, A’viloh just nodded. Haurchefant grinned, put down a mug on the bedside table and handed A‘viloh a comfortingly warm bowl filled with some rather delicious smelling stew.
Instead of fetching the chair from the small desk by the window, Haurchefant sat down at the lower end of the bed balancing the tray with his own lunch on his knees. Rael once told him that ishgardian society had an absurd amount of strict and antiquated rules and so A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder, that although it seemed like a very appropriate distance to him, in Haurchefant’s hometown the fact alone that he dared to sit on someone else’s bed was probably scandalous.
“I hope you don’t mind me having lunch with you.”, the Elezen asked as he noticed A‘viloh staring.
Quickly the Miqo’te lowered his gaze to his bowl of soup. “Not at all.”, he muttered and tried a spoonful of the food just to change the topic. “Mhh, this is very good!”, he mumbled, still chewing, surprised by how good this really was compared to the bland food and bitter teas Rael had usually brought him these last few days. It must have been the Viera’s way of punishing him for running away.
Haurchefant laughed and then for a while they ate in silence.
“You look a lot healthier already.”, the Elezen stated after a while with an amiable smile on his face before taking a sip from his mug.
A‘viloh shrugged a little embarrassed, since it had been his own fault that he hadn’t been well in the first place. “Only because all of you took so good care of me.”
Haurchefant nodded. “You know, you had us all horribly worried right?”
“Sorry about that.”, he said and guitily looked into his mug.
Curiously Haurchefant eyed him for a moment. “Why did you do that anyway? Run out into the storm.”
A bit surprised A’viloh looked up. Had they all thought he had done this on purpose? “There wasn’t a storm when I left! What do I know about weather? I didn’t expect it to start snowing, let alone that much!”
That made the Elezen chuckle again but he still looked at him expecting an answer.
“Still… why did you leave?”
“I assumed Rael told you…”, A’viloh replied not sure what Haurchefant wanted to hear exactly. He nodded. “Rael did. But maybe I want to hear it from you…”
A’viloh sighed. His plan hadn’t been very smart and he felt a little uncomfortable having to explain his reasons to someone else, when in retrospect it didn’t make much sense even to his own ears.
“You know the… circumstances under which we fled Ul’dah… I couldn’t… um… the fact that we didn’t even know what happened to our friends… I wanted to find out, because it doesn’t seem fair to me that we escaped while all of them didn’t…”
“Mhh…”, Haurchefant nodded thoughtfully but let go off the topic for now. Instead he asked, „And how are you feeling today?”
Somehow that question confused A’viloh even more.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s a simple question, isn’t it?”, he said still smiling politely.
Of course it was a simple question. Just the answer felt unreasonable complicated to him. To make things even more difficult people who asked such a question usually wanted to hear “I‘m fine, and you?” or “Very good, thank you.” for an answer and rarely the truth. They certainly didn’t want to hear “A few days ago I was convinced I was going to die and honestly it wasn’t that bad, so now I‘m still not sure wether I am happy to still be alive or not”.
“Alright… I guess.”, he mumbled instead. He had never been a good liar and could only hope that this fact wasn’t too obvious for the Elezen.
“You know what?”, Haurchefant proclaimed after watching him thoughtfully for a second. “Today is a wonderful day. We should go for a walk.”
“A walk?!”, A’viloh exclaimed wide-eyed, as if he had just asked something unreasonable of him.
“Why not?”
A’viloh couldn’t think of a good reason why not, other than that he was supposed to stay in bed, so he shrugged.
“Where’s Rael?”, he asked instead.
Haurchefant smirked. “Do you need Rael’s permission to go outside?”
“Of course not.”, the Miqo’te protested. “But Rael will be mad if I run off again, especially against their orders to stay in bed.”
“Rael and Alphinaud went to the observatory earlier.”, Haurchefant explained. “We’ll be back before they are, I promise.”
What was A’viloh supposed to say against that and also against the expectant look on the Elezen’s face. He took another glimpse towards the window and decided that it looked nice enough to go outside.
“Fine.”
“Good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and collected their empty bowls and mugs. “There should be warm clothes for you in the wardrobe. If you need anything else just ask someone. I’ll wait for you by the northern gate.”
After Haurchefant had left, A’viloh remained sitting in his bed for a moment longer contemplating on the Elezen’s question. Yes, he felt better again. But better in what comparison? Better than a few days ago when he had felt and also been half-dead? Though he didn’t feel sick anymore now, there still was a weigh on his heart. From his plan that had failed so spectacularly and even more so from the dreams he wouldn’t have minded to keep on dreaming forever.
Vehemently he shook his head and decided not to think about that now or he would just crawl back under the blanket of his comfortably warm bed again. Instead he got up and took a look into the wardrobe. Almost none of these were his own clothes of course since all he possessed were the ones he had worn on his body that day they fled Ul’dah. Very unsuitable for this climate. But neither did he see the borrowed clothes he had worn that night when he had tried to run away. Everything in here looked even softer and warmer like someone had wanted to make sure he was feeling comfortable. To his surprise the things didn’t look that much too big for him either, unlike his last set of clothes. Besides a few Hyur most people here at Camp Dragonhead were grown up Elezen but these clothes looked like they belonged to neither. Maybe it were clothes for Elezen children, he wondered and also thought that in that case someone must have brought them here just for him.
Grateful for so much effort he picked a few pieces and got dressed. Lazily he ran his fingers through his hair to get rid of the worst knots but the look into the small mirror at the washbasin, where his tired face stared back at him reproachfully, just made him sigh. Once he was ready he took the warm coat out of the wardrobe too and went out to look for Haurchefant. Just as he had said, the Elezen was standing by the gate that led to the north-east, towards the ruins of the Steel Vigil.
From afar Haurchefant already recognised the Miqo’te, his bright red hair a singularity among all the people living here. Pleasantly smiling as always he waved at him and A’viloh couldn’t help but smile a little too and wave back as he hurriedly walked towards him.
“There you are! I see the clothes fit you nicely.”
A’viloh nodded.
“They do. Thank you very much for these.”
Haurchefant dismissively waved with one hand. “It’s the least I could do…”
But he had done a lot more than that, A’viloh thought. “I think there’s more I need to thank you for. Rael told me it was you who saved my life.”
“Mhhh…”, Haurchefant tilted his head as if he wasn’t sure if this statement was entirely the truth. “Rael is too humble. They played a bit of a role in that too. After all it was Rael who noticed you were gone. And it was also Rael who didn’t leave your bedside and tried their best to heal you.”
A’viloh remembered waking up and finding the usually quite touch-averse viera cuddled up to him with a look on their face so horribly sad like he had never seen on them before. Rael had pretended it was nothing but it had been a very unconvincing performance. Asked about it Alphinaud had only offered a few sentences about how worried Rael had looked and how they had used all kinds of spells he himself had never seen or heard of before, all of it to try and save him. It had made him feel even more guilty for his stupidity.
So maybe Haurchefant was right. But still it had been him who had risked going out into the storm to find him.
“Anyway. I still want to thank you! Honestly.”, he insisted. But how honestly was it really?
Sure, he was glad to still be alive. After all his plan hadn’t been to run out into a blizzard and freeze to death, although some of them seemed to think that was the case. But once he found himself in this situation he had to admit that he had welcomed his fate rather willingly. A fact that shocked even himself a little looking back at it now.
“You’re welcome. After all you wouldn’t be any help to your friends frozen to death out there.”, Haurchefant joked with a wry smile on his lips.
“I guess not...”, A’viloh muttered, the topic of his friends making his mood visibly sink again.
Of course the Elezen noticed and his smile turned into a playful grin. “But I acted a little selfish too, you know? I think Camp Dragonhead is a lot friendlier with your company and I would like to have you and your pretty smile around a little longer.”
For a moment A’viloh’s eyes shot up to look at the others face before he quickly pretended that something somewhere a little bit to his left was a lot more interesting. Sometimes Haurchefant randomly said things, A’viloh hadn’t had the slightest idea how to react to. Not because he was that oblivious but simply because it puzzled him. Nonetheless the air suddenly didn’t feel that cold anymore on his face.
Haurchefant was always very kind to him. Well, he mostly was kind to everybody but sometimes he seemed to admire him especially. Him of all people, although there was nothing special about him. Haurchefant sometimes spoke of him like he was one of the greatest heroes of all time and it felt so ridiculous to him. He was just silly, cowardly A‘viloh! What had he ever achieved in his miserable life to justify such admiration? The people called him a Warrior of Light but wasn’t that some grand overstatement? Some days he thought all of this had been a horrible mistake. A great misunderstanding! Then he wondered how he had ever gotten entangled in this madness in the first place and also if he ever would get out of it again. But what else should he do with his life anyway...
While A’viloh’s brain still screeched in desperate search for a proper response, Haurchefant seemed to realise he had flustered him and glossed it over by gesturing to the gate.
“How about we walk a few yalms? There’s something you need to see!”
Still too dumbstruck to speak or to even wonder what the Elezen was talking about, A’viloh nodded and then proceeded to follow him out into the snowy landscape.
After a few minutes Haurchefant paused and took a deep breath. “Isn’t the air wonderful today?”
A’viloh followed his example, breathed deeply and let his gaze wander over the snow covered landscape with a few pines here and there and the mountains and ruins of the Steel Vigil in the distance. The air was cool and fresh, still cold enough that the warm sun couldn’t melt the snow. Instead the rays of sunshine made the scenery shine and sparkle as if everything was covered not in ice but in millions over millions of tiny diamonds.
“It is.”, he answered and smiled, surprised how beautiful this inhospitable landscape could be, before with a sudden spark of curiosity he finally asked. “Where are we going?”
“It’s not far anymore.”, Haurchefant said with a grin on his face and pointed into another direction. Shortly after and only a bit further ahead they reached a small lake.
As they got closer A‘viloh noticed that it not only was covered in a layer of snow and ice but also that quite a few off-duty soldiers, given the proximity to the camp he assumed they had to be, were standing right on top of the frozen lake. No, they were not quite standing. It looked more like they were dancing or flying maybe. More or less gracefully they moved over the lake‘s surface in fluid swift strides, some just moving in wide circles and other swirling around this way or that. A’viloh had never seen something like this and it looked strange and impossible but at the same time very beautiful to him.
The two of them had almost reached the lake by then, A’viloh a few steps ahead to get a better look at the wondrous people on the ice and he already wanted to ask how they did that, when his attention was drawn elsewhere by a curious squawking sound.
“Oh! Look at them!”, the Miqo’te exclaimed, his fascinated smile still turning a little brighter, as he gestured to a small flock of wild geese resting at the shore of the lake. With ruffled feathers they sat closely huddled together at the edge of the ice and suddenly A‘viloh couldn’t help but worry about them. They looked so unbothered by his presence, sleeping through the day and all the hubbub around them, looking all exhausted and frozen with their puffed up feathers. Like anything could happen to them and they wouldn’t even mind.
Strangely he wondered what he himself had looked like when Haurchefant had found him unconscious in the snow. He must have been a pitiful sight. Had the Elezen thought him beyond saving too, just like he himself had. What if he had found him a little later or not at all? Maybe that would have been better, a voice murmured to him just like it had so many times before and for a moment, tempted by the grief heavy on his heart once again, he almost believed it.
But no, he would be dead then and while he would have liked to imagine that this would mean he could be with his loved ones again, it was not exactly what either of the tribes he had lived with believed.
Vaguely he remembered his father working for hours, digging a grave at what used to be Wellwick Wood. An elderly woman too exhausted by their long journey, his grandmother if he remembered correctly, had died shortly after they had arrived there. With a sad smile on his face his father had explained to his children, who had stared down into the hole in the ground with confusion in their eyes, how by returning her body to the earth there could still grow new life from this death.
Or the drake tribe of the Sagolii Desert, who always burned their dead and left the ashes to be carried away by the desert wind, believing that it would make it easier for the deceased‘s aether to return to the Aetheric Sea and create something new elsewhere.
With a sudden sharp pain in his heart A’viloh realised that neither of the people he loved had gotten the burial they would have wanted for themselves. And neither had A‘viloh himself wanted to die in the coldness of Coerthas and be forever forgotten under a thick layer of snow and ice. He had thought about dying before but never had he been this close to it. For a second he wondered if this was something worth speaking to Rael about, but he wasn’t sure they wouldn’t misunderstand and get mad at him again.
“Why do you make such a sad face now?”, Haurchefant asked having noticed the smile slip from the Miqo’te’s face. But A’viloh just vehemently shook his head and focused on the geese again.
“They must be horribly cold.”, he wondered in a voice that suggested he already planned to take all of them to the safety of his comfortably warm room.
Haurchefant chuckled. “Don’t worry, they survived the storm out here after all. They keep each other warm, that’s why you‘ll rarely see one of them alone. A bit like you and your friends.”
“Maybe…”, A’viloh answered thinking about this comparison for a moment. “I just wish it wouldn’t always be me who needs to be taken care of. But as proven in Ul’dah and now once again I am simply too weak and useless to keep myself alive, not to mention anyone else.”
The Elezen’s face got a little stern as he folded his arms in front of his chest. “Don’t say that, I am sure it’s not true! This was just bad luck! You are neither weak nor useless!”
A’viloh shrugged. “But that’s how I feel right now...”
Slowly Haurchefant nodded before speaking again with a silent but determined voice. “Listen. I‘ll never forget how bravely you fought for Francel although you barely knew him. You could have gotten yourself in trouble with that and you helped him anyway.”
“It’s not like I did that on my own -”, A’viloh tried to protest but was immediately interrupted. “But you still helped! And I’m sure even without Rael you would have done so!”
Another shrug was all Haurchefant got in response, so the Elezen thought for a second before making an offer. “You want to make yourself useful, right? Get stronger? I could teach you how to fight like a real ishgardian knight, with sword and shield. Or we have some dragoons at Camp Dragonhead too! I’m sure there’s a lot you could learn from them.”
A‘viloh‘s face turned to disbelief. “I really don’t think I could fight with armor and weapons this heavy…”
“You can’t say so if you don’t try! And I have you know that dragoon armors are surprisingly light. How do you think they could still be this agile otherwise? Promise me to at least try training with them a little!”
He didn’t really want to agree to that. He knew he would make a fool of himself. But how could he say no with Haurchefant trying everything in his power to cheer him up. Weakly he shook his head and muttered: “Fine…”
“Perfect!”, Haurchefant exclaimed with a bright smile on his face. “I think an early reward for your efforts is appropriate then!”
Confused A’viloh watched him take a small bag off of his shoulders, which he hadn’t even noticed until now. For a moment the Elezen was busy undoing a knot before he opened the bag and presented to A‘viloh a set of two weirdly shaped blades attached to pieces of wood with leather straps. He had no idea what these constructs were meant to do and that was plainly visible on his face. “What’s that?”
“Ice skates of course!”, Haurchefant said as if that would explain it all but the Miqo’te‘s face remained clueless, so Haurchefant gestured to the lake behind them. “You attach them to your boots so you can walk on the ice like this!”
“Oh!”, A’viloh exclaimed as he understood what Haurchefant was planning. “I don’t think-… I mean I‘ve never-… You don’t really want me to step on that lake do you?” The idea somehow scared him.
“Why not?”, Haurchefant asked for the second time today with this smile that made the question sound like a challenge.
“It’s just a bit of ice!”, A‘vi objected. “What if it breaks?”
The Elezen shook his head and proceeded to fasten the metal blades beneath his boots. “Ah, don’t worry. The ice is thick enough, it will take at least a few more days to melt.”
“I don’t know…”, was all A’viloh replied as Haurchefant pressed another pair of skates into his hands. But the Elezen remained determined and took a few wobbly steps through the snow and onto the ice. “See! I can stand on it and it doesn’t break! You are a lot lighter than me, so why wouldn’t you be able to?”
Oh, you don’t know my bad luck!, A‘viloh thought but Haurchefant didn’t look like he would take that for an excuse. Instead he stretched out a hand towards the Miqo’te. “Come one! Believe me, this is going to be funny!”
For a second A‘viloh pondered his options. The idea of nothing but a little bit of ice between him and the water still terrified him but Haurchefant seemed so excited about this and the other people actually seemed to have fun too. Maybe he should at least pretend to try... Reluctantly he sat down on a rock and tried to put on the skates just like Haurchefant had done a moment ago.
“The clasp on the back too. Make sure none of them are loose… Yes, that looks fine!”, Haurchefant helpfully explained. As A’viloh got up, he almost flopped right back down into the snow. It was a weird feeling to balance his whole weight on only two thin pieces of metal. As he carefully took the first few steps towards the lake Haurchefant reached out for him once more. “Here! Take my hand! I don’t want you to fall…”
Hesitantly A‘vi stepped onto the ice and immediately felt like the ground was being pulled away beneath his feet. He struggled for balance, feeling himself falling backwards, so Haurchefants arm was a very welcome thing to hold on to.
With a chuckle the Elezen tried to loosen A‘vi‘s desperate grip on his arm and instead took each of his hand in one of his own before carefully making slow steps backwards pulling A‘viloh over the ice, which A’vi could swear was making suspicious crackling sounds below them. There was no way to tell the blades beneath his feet not to move, so all A’viloh could do was try not to fall and plead to Haurchefant with ears flat on his head and panic in his eyes, as he slowly was pulled further onto the lake. “No, no, no. Take me back, that’s a horrible idea!”
“Calm down. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I promise.”, Haurchefant said soothingly and continued to explain to him how to move on the ice skates. And in fact the Elezen’s calm voice slowly made A’viloh feel less anxious. His hands, frantically clasping at Haurchefant’s, relaxed along with his legs. It was still a weird feeling to be standing on the ice but now it felt a lot easier to remain balanced. He glanced at the people around them while remaining as still as possible, studied their movements for a moment and then tentatively tried to mimic the way they slowly pushed their feet above the slippery surface. To his surprise he really moved forward without much effort and also without feeling the sensation of falling again, closer to Haurchefant who had steadied him with his outstretched arms so far.
“See! It’s not that difficult.”, he said while making another step backwards so A’viloh had to follow with another step forward. The Miqo’te, strangely excited about the fact that he was actually moving on these weird ice-blades, laughed happily. “You are even going backwards!”
Haurchefants laughed. “One step after the other. Let’s teach you how to go forward first, hm? I‘ll let go off one of your hands but don’t worry, I still got you. One feet after the other just like you did before…”
In fact it almost felt easier now that he could use one of his arms to balance himself. Very slowly at first they floated above the icy surface of the lake but soon A‘viloh got braver. Once he almost lost his balance but for a comparably tall and strong person like Haurchefant it seemed like a very easy task to keep a small Miqo’te on his feet. Almost falling had felt like a shock for a second but only moments later they were laughing about it and in the end A’viloh was surprised and also a little proud how quickly he had learned and how much fun this was.
He wasn’t sure how much time they spent there on the frozen lake but at some point a bell sounded from the nearby Camp. Startled A’viloh looked up (and almost lost his balance again). “How late is it? I’m sure you have more important things to do than this! I’m sorry if I’m keeping you from doing your work.”
But Haurchefant just laughed and teased, “What could be more important than prove to you that not all of Coerthas is a deadly wasteland trying to kill you? But I think we really should return soon. I don’t want you to get cold again and after all we also don’t want Rael to find out about this little excursion, do we?”
For a second A’viloh wished the viera could see him now and wondered what their reaction would be like. The thought made him chuckle.
And as they floated, one last circle around the lake, A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder that maybe it was happy moments like this. The reason he was still here. Moments that made his life worth living.
---
inspired by the poem The Reversal by Leila Chatti
#ffxiv#ff14#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy 14#ffxiv writing#ffxiv screenshots#gpose#Aviloh Tia#Haurchefant Greystone#This ended up sadder than I wanted actually XD#But at least it ends on a good note and thats worth something huh?#I read that poem while I was still writing the last story and thought it fitted A'vi's mood quite well#and that it would be sweet to make him go ice skating although he has no clue what that is and how to do it :D#Did I ever tell you A'vi is his own worst enemy sometimes? I probably did or you figured that out by yourself by now...#If he thinks he can't do something he won't even try#I like to blame that on the expectactions people had for him and which he failed repeatedly but it's probably a bit of a character flaw too#However before late HW it is probably also very easy to talk him into pretty much anything if you have the slightest bit of persuasion skil#oops thats probably a character flaw too... but in this case it is useful at last :D#A'vi will get better soon I promise!#Well obviously he will get worse first for obvious reasons but then he'll get better eventually!#Maybe... I hope... Oh boy I am seriously trying but this sad cat doesn't want to be happy D:#I think getting the Scions back will help a little and so will the happenings of Stormblood I think...#And regarding Haurchefant: I don't think I see this as particularly romantic (I mean from Haurchefant's side maybe given his character)#I should probably make a post one of these days giving some iside look on A'vi's emotions! because it's complicated! XD#he's been alive but not really living for so long now and maybe this near-death-expierence was necessary to make him think about that...#rant over! I'll make a different post another day! this already got out of hand again...#and once again I’m posting this on a Friday! i might just start calling it FanficFriday! which doesn’t mean you get something each week XD
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
Jacky I love you but keep him away from shootouts.
It’s shameful it took 7 rounds for Timo to get a turn.
timo should definitely have been in earlier lol
but i'll be honest i don't mind them sending jack out, he seems to get in his head for penalty shots and shootouts even though he was decent at both a couple years ago, i think they just need to let him keep going at it and work through it because there's no reason he shouldn't be good in both situations
#i think he's had the yips since that anaheim penalty shot#and he'll figure it out eventually#also shootouts are stupid!#lindy scratched sevo and the very next game sent him out first or second for the shootout#and he scored the gwg!#it's all mickey mouse shit it's fine#asks#anon
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Random Onnie gender thoughts because they came to mind.
#fnafhs#trans headcanon#I think onnie is definitely some type of genderfluid but doesn't realize it because he's not very introspective#and he does feel male most of the time. so he's like ''yeah I'm a guy'' and brushes of times when he doesn't feel like a guy#he plays it off. of course he wants to look androgynous sometimes. it's just a fashion thing- nothing else#maybe sometimes he likes it that people confuse him with a girl because of his long hair but that obviously has no deeper meaning#no need to think about it no sir#I do however think he does especially notice when he's feeling very fem and it's... awkward for him#because wanting people to call you by she/her and wanting to be seen as a girl it's uh. not usual cis guy behavior#but I don't think he feels like that particularly often so he feels caught off guard when it happens and confuses him#he doesn't understand much about trans stuff. just the very basics#so he's like ''if I was trans I would want to be a girl all the time. vut I don't. but I do sometimes. so???''#(bro doesn't know what nonbinary or genderfluid means rip)#he'll figure it out- eventually#but even then he's not like... too sure about what to do#he tells the nightmares and they use whatever pronouns he wants when he wants them and that's kind of that#nobody else knows tho. he's got too many trust issues to be telling people things like that
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
"your f/o understands-" i don't know if he does actually, but by god he tries his best anyways. and sometimes he gets it and other times he doesnt, but either way he will stand by me and support me in it! ... i suppose supporting is a type of understanding in its own right, though
#💜so good at being in trouble#and it's not because he's stupid bc he is Not stupid lmao. there's just a lot of complicated difficult-to-describe things!#anything to do with feelings really#sometimes he'll grok what im saying immediately but other times he's gonna be a little lost#same thing for me w his stuff#but we will stand by each other even when we don't understand the other#and sometimes we eventually figure it out even if it takes days. weeks. months. years even !#and sometimes we never figure it out but we still love and appreciate the other for existing as they do#I don't have to understand you in your entirety to love you and support you. i will take you as you are even if I cannot understand it all#it's trust! i am willing to step out onto this branch for you bc I care about you and love you#and I trust you won't let me fall. and if I do fall I trust that you'll be there to help me back up again and we can sort it out#dandy.cmd#waxing poetic about love. when it's about a fictional character. the yearning is doing its thing tonight it seems lmaoooo#dandy.sys#<- juno is around i think but idfk at this point. this is just ... thoughts they have that they couldnt word themself#mara and i (chase) are helping put it into words now though lol#easier to word when ur not caught up in it yourself i guess lmao
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/26ffabfdbfe24f786e97d688ca65cb63/42a317abef015a34-21/s540x810/4b336769d35f1e9953fd39b21a583c26c909638c.jpg)
sighs dreamily kicking my feet lots............................
#cyrus bg3#cyrusXhalsin#i dont think hed stay in baldurs gate for long but i dont think hed go back to the shadowlands w/halsin right away#he desperately needs some r&r and would want to help shadowheart and gale figure out their next steps first#besides he and halsin will have centuries together if thats what they want#he'll make his way there eventually though#growth renewal care looking after children the way no one ever looked out for him etc etc etc#i could even see him taking an oath of the ancients some several dozen decades down the line as a steward of the revitalized shadowlands#but. i digress. and have work to do. and cant spend all of my time thinking about my boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
my dad's gonna be in town next weekend. the same weekend i'm going to this music thing hosted by the local trans group. my dad does not know i'm not cis. i have invited him to the music thing. this should be interesting
#the thing is like. i have never gone to anything else hosted by the local trans group. no one there knows me#and it's cohosted by another thing that is actually how i heard about it#and he knows i'm gay so it's not like he'll probably think anything of it#but i also very much just plan to not even tell him it's a trans group and hope he doesn't notice#i figure if he comes he will probably never have been surrounded by so many very loudly queer people at once#at least not. this sort of loudly queer.#he's been to family friendly pride stuff but this is more the queer as in fuck you sort of crowd#(i should clarify that my dad is totally chill and i wouldn't bring him if i thought he'd be shitty to anyone)#(and if he does find out i'm not cis it's not the end of the world)#(i actually do not care at all if he knows i just know once he knows i will eventually have to tell my mom)#(and once my MOM knows i would have to tell every single person she has ever interacted with)#(which means my grandparents would find out and dear god i do not want to deal with that)#so anyways i figure if he comes he will have a lot to take in and will probably not be thinking about whether i'm cis or not#also he'll probably mostly just be there to enjoy the music ghsdghds#also he might not even come i just said he could come if he wants to
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
lt feels deeply unsatisfying that he's gaining his memories back this fast. It doesn't feel like it was worth it to have that set up of him having lost his memories if he was gonna get them back in literally the same and next chapter.
#it would've been interesting to see him sorting through them slowly and getting them back in increments#so he had time to mull over the impact of what he lost?#unless this is a misdirection and these are false memories or something#and he'll eventually have to start questioning his memory and reconcile who he thinks he is and who he actually wants to be#also figuring out who fucked with his memories if anyone ever did at all or if he chose to forget and forge#in which case what type of person was he even#but i feel this story will not go that direction#it'll just be him having his memories back two chapters in#... i Don't really care for that#it just seems like a waste of good story potential#stray kaihen#kaihen no mahotsuki#kai hen wizards
1 note
·
View note
Text
Kunichuuzai but it's that infamous train scene in Space Dandy. Sokoku are Dandy and Kunikida is Scarlet send post (scene in question if you've never seen it/need a reference)
youtube
#Bungo Stray Dogs#Kunichuuzai#Doppo Kunikida#Chuuya Nakahara#Osamu Dazai#Imagine though if Kuni heard them and turned around and of course train but he waits he waits for it to pass and there they are#They all make eye contact with one another and Sokoku rush to Kuni's side in the blink of an eye and confess their feelings qwq#Ugh I need write this eventually#Another fun thing is if you want angst maybe Kunikida's been neglecting himself overworking so he doesn't have to think about how he feels#About how madly in love he is with both Dazai and Chuuya maybe they both got together before he could even ask either of them out and he#Just...shuts down and decides he won't interfere he'll congratulate them sure but he won't get between them it's not ideal for him to do so#Chuuya and Dazai on the other hand feel like something is missing and they've noticed Kunikida seems more distant he'll still smile and#Laugh with them but they can tell something is off but Kunikida deflects it says he's fine but everyone else can see it plain as day#The longing gazes the love struck and forlorn sighs of a man who lost his chance sokoku doesn't see this but everyone else does#The ADA is getting worried because Kunikida just looks exhausted but they're all unsure of what to do even Dazai's at a loss#Meanwhile Kunikida is just trying to get over his “stupid” feelings sokoku is together and he should feel happy for them he IS happy he jus#Needs to get over these feelings he has maybe it'll pass with time maybe he won't lie awake again tonight thinking of them#Meanwhile with Sokoku they're both deep in thought everything so far fits together perfectly but something....something is missing and they#Can't figure it out for the life of them until they both realize something they still have feelings for each other of course but with some#Gentle nudging from the port mafia and ADA and a pep talk from both Ranpo and Kouyou do they finally figure out what's wrong#They both have feelings for Kunikida and they want him to be a part of their relationship and so the night they figure it out they go to#Find Kunikida to talk it all out and for a brief moment the only thing in their way is a train but once it passes they both take hold of#Kunikida and they both promise him they will never let him almost slip away like that ever again#If you wanna make the angst worse however Kunikida does turn around as he hears his name called out he turns but that's when the train#Speeds by Kunikida thinks he was just imagining things and continues on and Sokoku miss their chance and who knows when they'll get another#Sorry that this got long qwq#Youtube
0 notes
Text
Dick was so tired. Exhausted, really. He had been for years. It had been that way since he had decided to make it his mission to compensate for the shortcomings of an emotionally stunted man with an adoption problem and no intention to change. Dick didn't regret it, not exactly. He loved his siblings and wanted to give them the world. He also knew he couldn't fully raise them while Bruce was there in the middle. He had tried. He always ran himself ragged and ended up on the other side of Bruce's rage for trying to "push his sons away from him". It took a lot out of him but he still tried for the sake of his younger siblings.
It didn't help that Bruce hadn't ever been great at showing affection and tended to push people away from him whenever they got hurt or too close to him for fear of losing them. It had lost some of its effect on Dick after the second time Bruce had kicked him out, after Jason's death, but he could still see the hurt on his siblings' eyes when they were on the other side of Bruce's cold shoulder. It had certainly made him feel unwelcome at the manor and unable to stay more than a few days at once. It also made him irritable at Bruce, although that might be more about the man's actions than the coldness he associated with the manor. He tried to mask it for his siblings. Compensate with easy smiles and warm hugs. He knew it wasn't enough. He had always had to choose between mitigating the biggest mess Bruce had left behind and truly being there for his loved ones. He could not do everything. He couldn't be everywhere at once. No matter how hard he tried. It was exhausting. And he always failed.
Dick had seen Damian pack. He had just gotten back from the cave after his latest attempt at reasoning with Bruce. He had gone to find Damian and had seen the boy organizing his bags and looking around the room to make sure he didn't miss anything. He had seen him take the family picture on his bedside table. Damian hadn't noticed him. Dick had made a split-second decision and left. He went back to the cave and prepared for patrol, telling Bruce about a case he needed help with in the Narrows and leaving with Batman in tow, just in time to see Superboy flying towards Damian's window. He had distracted Bruce and made sure he didn't see.
He had considered taking Damian to live with him before. Many times. The only thing that had stopped him was Bruce's reaction after Tim had rescued him from the timeline but before he started trying to mend bridges with the family. He had seen the closeness between Damian and Dick and had decided to take it away. He had thrown a fit and forbidden Dick from coming to Gotham, when that hadn't worked, he had told him not to come to the manor, when that also didn't work, he started sulking and gave Damian the silent treatment until Dick backed off and distanced himself from the kid enough. That was when he approached Dick and apologized with words that Dick now knew weren't his own and started trying to bring the family back together. Maybe Dick had always known and was just in denial about it. The point was, if Damian ever left, Bruce would immediately suspect Dick and bring the kid back while enforcing more restrictions. It wouldn't help his brother in the long term. So Dick let him leave and pretended not to notice anything amiss.
The realization came hours later. There were no kids living in the manor anymore. All his siblings had left and were starting to figure out how to live independently from Bruce. Dick didn't need to shield them anymore. He didn't have to keep pushing himself to the limit, trying to be everything they needed, trying to overcompensate for everything Bruce fell short on. He didn't have to go back to a place where he wasn't wanted, no matter how many times he was reassured otherwise (not many. Not even once). He could finally leave.
He ended patrol early and got there just in time to see Clark trying to maneuver the rest of Damian's animals in his arms without having to take multiple trips. "Take care of them?" He couldn't help but ask, even knowing he should be doing more and had no right to ask that of anyone else, let alone Superman.
Clark's eyes turned soft and sad. He nodded solemnly, finally having managed to carry all the pets, and left without another word to Dick. They both knew Dick wasn't referring to the animals when he had said 'them'.
Dick went back to his apartment feeling so much relief he felt guilty to ever feel like that towards his siblings absence. It didn't stop him from going to bed and having a full night sleep for the first time in years. It was more rest that he had gotten since Bruce had introduced him to a tiny Jason and told him he was his new brother. Maybe someday Dick would have enough energy to go back and try to fix things between them again. Maybe he'd reach out to his siblings and try to have a real relationship with them. One that wasn't so dependent on Bruce's moods. Maybe one day he'd be ready to talk to Tim, Damian, and Jay and listen to their experiences at the manor without immediately trying to smooth things out or getting defensive. Maybe the anxiety attacks would go away with time. For now he'd just enjoy not having to worry about anyone's emotional well-being but his own. Maybe he'd call Wally and the other Titans. It had been a while since the last time they talked. His siblings were safe. Dick was free. Everything else could wait.
Bruce comes back from the dead and wants to make things better. Bruce comes back from the dead and Tim was the one who brought him back, so it's obviously Tim who'll know best how to help him reconnect with everyone.
It's Tim who should give him advice on how to bond with Dick. Dick has always been his idol, after all. Tim would know best how to bring him back, and he does. He gives good advice and the two of them begin to get closer.
So Bruce asks about Jason, too. Asks about how to bring his son back into the fold and Tim wished for a brief and brutal moment that it weren't so obvious who the favorite was.
Tim told Bruce to give Jason his space, to loosen his rules, and make it clear that no matter what the Red Hood did, no matter what the Batman believed in, Jason was always welcome. Bruce would always want him.
It worked. Bruce wasn't surprised. Tim was a special sort of bitter.
Bruce asked again for Damian and Tim had to push down his anger. "That boy tried to kill me," Tim wanted to say. "I hate him and I want you to hate him too so that I can remember a time when we had something in common," Tim didn't say, but he got close.
He instead told Bruce how Damian liked art and animals and loved hearing stories of the wonders of Batman.
He told Bruce just how much Damian loved being Robin. Told Bruce to tell Damian what a good Robin he was.
God bless or maybe damn him, but he did and it worked and Tim wanted to start screaming and clawing at something because that would have never worked if Tim tried it and it wouldn't have stopped Damian from cutting his line--something Bruce did not and would never know about.
Bruce asked about Babs. How should he make sure she knew that she was a part of the family? They they loved her and not just for the work she did?
He asked about Steph. How should he make sure she knew that she was more important than his rules and that, if something else should go wrong, she didn't need to run away?
He asked about Duke. He never got the chance to get to know him before leaving--not as well as he wanted to, at least. How should he let him know that he was just as much a son as everyone else? That, whether or not his parents woke up, he'd always be welcome?
He asked about Cass. How should he show her that he loves her even though he has nothing to teach her? How can he convey how much he cares about her, his first daughter?
Bruce gets brought back from time and he makes things better. He brings his family back together by following Tim's advice.
And Tim?
Tim brings his dad back from the dead and Bruce changes, becomes a better father.
Bruce changes, but not everything can.
That, Tim thinks, is why Bruce never calls Tim his son.
#I know I said I was out of words but this wouldn't leave my thoughts#that being said it was supposed to be three paragraphs... I should've known by now#Dick is so sad and tired and I want him to get all the hugs#except he now has all that self-recrimination going and he'll probably isolate again#he'll get better tho. eventually. he probably needs time to figure out who he is when he's not at Bruce's shadow#anyway I made myself cry#I still kind of want them to reconcile eventually but also maybe not?#I think I'm going to go and write some fluffy good batdad thing cause Bad-dad!Bruce always leaves a bad taste in my mouth#and I need his good!dad version to cleanse it and hug his kids or something#this is getting long... at some point it might have to just become a fic on its own and go on ao3 or something#but it sounds like a later problem#anyway glad you like it. hope you enjoy this next part#dick grayson#bad dad bruce wayne#emotional exhaustion#neglect#emotional neglect
2K notes
·
View notes