#I think author/character back and forths are hilarious but maybe only I do

[artemismatchalatte]

Do your characters judge you? Because mine do all the time!

[slackerlifewhere]

The subtlety of Cale Henituse

SPOILERS for those who haven't finished the first part of the novel. If you don't like spoilers, please don't continue. Thanks!

- This is kind of a review about the novel but it's basically my analysis of Cale/KRS.

___

For someone who has trust issues with people, I first had an initial distrust with Cale Henituse/Kim Rok Soo as a reader.

I think it's because of how he was first introduced.

As a first-time reader of the novel back then, Cale/KRS was introduced as a very indifferent person. He was calm at the face of a sudden transmigration and acted like nothing could surprise him (aside from Ron and Choi Han). And of course, like anyone who was fooled, I also thought that he was selfish. He's not the trash that he thinks he is but he's selfish and I didn't place my full trust in him because I still didn't know him yet. And I like it that way. The author kept me on my toes and didn't force fed me a truckload of information about Kim Rok Soo.

Like I said in my previous post, he didn't actually give us his whole introduction. He left a few crumbs here and there that told us he didn't have a great childhood but it wasn't enough for me to build an image of him in my head. There were still some blanks and question marks about Kim Rok Soo.

Sure, there were moments when he gave a bigger tip to someone without blinking an eye and acting all smug about it but I really just thought that he was happy because he's finally rich. Or when he was being so polite and gentlemanly in front of an old man that Venion was disgusted with and then later on went back to being indifferent and I thought it was just him being extra petty and angry (which he was) at Venion for being an asshole. He's very quick to change from smug to indifference and it made me switch back and forth on how I see him as a person.

Yeah, you need to read between the lines when reading this novel.

[side note: Actually, If I remember correctly, I thought that I wouldn't like his character because I find it weird when MCs in KR manhwa and novels easily shrug off the isekai bullshit they're in. The influence of KR manhwa on me affected my opinion about him and it shows.]

So when he first met the kittens and Choi Han, I was reading it with the feeling of "Run away, guys! Run while you still can!" lingering at the back of my mind. He was nice to them, as much as he could with random strangers he just met, but he's very distant with them.

Another thing about him that makes it harder to understand him is because he's always distant with people. He relies on them and helps them but he's always at arms-length when dealing with them. This, if you didn't think of or was reminded of his thoughts about his abuse and pity, simply makes him look indifferent.

Before I continue, I don't like tsundere characters. I absolutely find them cringe and sometimes, I just wanna bash my head when they blush at the bs they're spouting at someone they like.

Because that's the thing with Cale. He is a tsundere. He says one thing and does the opposite. And he's so in denial about it which makes it more hilarious and sad.

He's subtle about it at first. He didn't even give me the vibe that he's more complex than what he shows because he's so quick to disprove my sudden epiphany that there's something deeper than what he's showing. He's so good at hiding his emotions EVEN WHEN I'M READING HIS POV.

This bastard is so in denial about himself that he fooled me so bad! I think I only realized it when he saved Raon but even then, there were still some doubts about his character. I liked his words to Raon and thought about how kind he is for giving the dragon the freedom of choice but because he later thinks of making Raon do things for him, it shook my trust in him just a little bit. Just a little, I promise.

...Maybe I just have major trust issues.

Taylor Stan

The weirdest thing to me that actually snapped me from my doubts that he's actually a kind person is oddly enough, because of Taylor Stan.

Remember when Taylor and Cage suddenly arrived at the area they were camping in and he finally talked to Taylor face to face? Yeah, he was indifferent there but it's when his tsundere traits actually exploded at my face.

He, while trying to hide from everyone, told them to give Taylor and Cage the best care and protection as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

Mind you, they don't even actually know him aside from OG Cale's reputation as trash. And he also technically isn't supposed to know them because, in the duo's POV, this is their first time meeting him so he didn't have to help or care for them.

He basically acted as if what he was doing was bad in their eyes but in reality, it's not???

He's just helping them and he's in denial about it? He's genuinely being a kind person and he thinks he's trash?

He later gives them money (and acts cool about it) and helps with smuggling (lmao) them to the Roan Kingdom so they can arrive there safely and he thinks he's trash???

He gave this man hope to finally heal himself and fight against his brother and he thinks he's trash?????

Seriously?

Self-hatred

It's why whenever he calls himself trash, I shake my head because it's amusing but I also want to cry because, as I go further into the novel, he fully believes that he's actually trash.

I don't know if this is ever talked about but Cale is hiding a huge self-hatred about himself.

Cale pointed to himself with his index finger.

“I have lived my life as trash. That is my dream.”

- Chapter 33: You

At first, when he called himself trash, I thought it was because his soul is in OG Cale's body and thus, he inherited the title and uses it to cause chaos. It's a part of the reason why but, if I think about it, he doesn't have to call himself that??? He can still cause chaos without using that title.

It's why I think he fully believes it. That he's trash.

I didn't understand back then and thought it was just him loving the title and the chaos that comes along with it.

Him and his smirks or "selfish" ideals made it seem like he's fully embraced the title and liked it that way.

And the way the author hides a deeper meaning behind his words and actions is by making it feel humorous or comical. The author makes it feel extra.

We laugh and find it amusing because it's chaotic. The secrets behind those wild ideas and explosive destruction are brilliant and subtle.

It's why I fully believed back then, that it's a simple story about a man who just wants to cause mischief in a strange world.

And then...his past as Kim Rok Soo is finally revealed by the author.

And it suddenly turns all this humor about himself into a freaking tragedy.

Kim Rok Soo is a tragic character. He's a person who has lost far too much and can only react in indifference even when he's hurting. He's cold in another person's perspective because he doesn't cry when in front of those he lost.

He hates himself for something he couldn't control. He hates himself for being weak. He hates himself for a lot of things. And he hates the scars Kim Rok Soo has because they're the reminder of all his failures and all his sacrifices that only ended up with making him alone. Like he will always be alone. (Which makes his distant personality in the beginning make sense too wtf)

So he takes in their words of him being cruel enough not to cry in a funeral of his friends and fully believes it.

He believes, as Kim Rok Soo and Cale Henituse, that he's trash.

And it absolutely made me cry like a kid when he, as he woke up surrounded by those he befriended and could call family, finally cries with a smile.

This is the first time they and us readers see him cry and smile and it's just heartbreaking.

The whole lead up to this reveal was me seeing him as a tsundere and a freaking crazy bastard that utters "slacker life" like it's comic relief.

It's completely unexpected and I love it.

Because him crying and smiling for the first time is him finally shedding his shields and walls from these people who see him as a kind person.

Cale Henituse, for all his masks and secrets, is just a broken but endlessly kind person.

It's why those who meet him, trust him. His actions are a big reason why they trust him but his words, when it feels hopeless, are eye-opening and full of wisdom of a 36 year old man. He's straightforward in front of those he trusts and tells them something that flips over everything they think about the current situation. And he says it with the experience of Kim Rok Soo.

I believe the only times he lies to them is when he was given the thing that he was gonna use to stab himself and also when he hides his identity as Kim Rok Soo. There's actually a hint of his guilt sometimes...or maybe I'm just thinking too much about it.

Anyways, that's all my thoughts for now.

This subtle bastard made me cry, damn it.

___

That one scene of him crying and smiling is etched in my mind and was reminded of it when I recently saw a fanart. So I decided to write about my feelings about his character and personality.

It's not a mindblowing post or anything new and it goes from humor to angst pretty fast but I think it's just like him. If you analyze his words in one way, it's just hilarious but if you analyze it in another way, it's sad.

I like how the author wrote him. He's a crazy bastard and a tsundere (the only tsundere I'll ever like) and I'm so glad I found this novel.

[relaxxattack]

hi im asking u this bc u seem to be bee duo enthusiast so

ive been calling c! beeduos relationship platonic because i thought that was what their cc’s said, and i thought they had said that they were uncomfortable with ppl shipping the characters. But ive seen a lot of posts that say their relationship is canonically romantic? and i absolutely do not want to come across as homophobic by watering down a mlm relationship to just friends because that happens so much in media so.

what is the canon state of their relationship / ur opinions on the platonic thibg

dont worry abt answering if u dont want to!! i see a lot of differing opinions and i trust yours :)

aw it’s totally fine, im flattered you asked me about this!

let me put it simply: it’s a whole mess, lol.

first im going to talk about what’s happened fandom-wide that caused differing opinions, and then i’ll explain my own opinion/interpretation. :]

(this got really fucking long im so sorry)

ranboo and tubbo initially proclaimed the relationship was romantic, specifically in argument with the wiki editors who had set it as platonic by default. (you can see this in the vod where they decide they’re canonically married— it’s very funny. chat tells them the marriage is already on the wiki, they check, tubbo is jokingly offended that it says platonic and asks if he needs to up the romance).

tubbo also makes jokes about adultry, which sort of implies the relationship is not necessarily a platonic one.

(theres definetly more in that stream alone but it’s been a long time since i watched it so i don’t remember a lot of it.)

the wiki, because of this, suffers from going back and forth on platonic and romantic, seemingly unsure where the joke ends and the canon begins, or if its canonically a joke! a mess, as you can already tell.

this gets more complicated as the marriage bit goes on: outsiders, such as phil and scott, both at one point say “platonic marriage”, which then ranboo and tubbo agree with. however, when chat asks them if they’re platonic, they say the opposite. so there is a lot of confusion there.

there’s also the difficulty of being able to tell streamers and characters apart. ranboo and tubbo both don’t like being shipped irl, and that’s their boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. (they’re also minors, but tbh when they’re 18 in a year i will still be following their boundaries regardless of their legal age).

due to people not wanting to be accused of minor shipping, they started adding the platonic tone indicator to most of their drawings— basically a way of saying “no homo”. meanwhile, tubbo frequently on stream flirts with ranboo and makes quite a bit of nsfw comments towards him that are frankly hilarious.

this goes on for a while with nobody really sure what’s canon, but a lot of people assuming it’s probably platonic, until: the drama of the mods night. a few mods dmed all the wiki editors telling them ranboo wanted his canon character relationship officially set to platonic.

unfortunately for those mods; the very same day, a few hours later, ranboo on stream makes fun of puffy delivering him and tubbo “friendship flowers”. because, and i quote, “bruh. we’re literally married. this must be how the ancient greeks felt.”

in case you don’t know, the internet often jokes about how historians will call ancient greeks ‘very good friends’ when they are quite obviously gay. so in this context, ranboo is joking that people will call him and c!tubbo, who are married, “close friends”, when he doesn’t think they are.

basically, ranboo canonized romantic bee duo, the very same day the mods told everyone he’d wanted a platonic one.

chaos and drama immediately erupted everywhere. on tumblr, we were talking about how weird it was of his mods to do something like that without asking him first. we ALSO talked about how weird it was of them to assume that ranboo can’t make his own decisions, or assume teenagers cannot be in relationships without it being sexual. twitter did the same thing but in the opposite direction: called ranboo mods homophobic, or said they were mad ranboo felt pressured into making a romantic relationship canon ‘just so people could have mlm rep.’

i dont want to go into detail about the drama that happened that night because apparently official people follow me and i dont want to stir it up or have them come “clarify” things. im just saying what we talked about.

ranboo in typical ranboo fashion apologized quickly and seriously. he was deeply sorry for possibly offending anyone with how he’d portrayed his rp relationship with tubbo, and he also assured everyone the mod thing was just a miscommunication.

he said he would talk to tubbo and they’d decide once and for all whether it was platonic or romantic, and then announce so everyone would know.

it’s now been a few months and we've had no word from them on that development. we still have no clue.

-

now, here’s my opinion:

i want to take ranboos word for it that it was a miscommunication with his mods, but... we had it on good authority from people on the wiki team and people in the discord with the mods that (while it was happening) they were really going after the wiki admins, and also made some weird comments about it. that combined with the way ranboo seemingly had no clue (considering he canonized their romance that very same day).... it’s very. sus of the mods.

then there’s the canon we’ve got since then. although occasionally adults in the room have called it a “platonic marriage” and tubbo once (back when it first started) called it a “plankton tectonic” marriage, in roleplay it’s been... kind of not that. tubbo and ranboo make nsfw jokes about each other in character, and their characters also share a master bedroom and bed in the mansion. there's also the way c!tommy really thinks it’s a romance between them as well, and they agree with and play off that— for instance confirming that they “fell in love” when he asked, or ranboo confirming that they “make out on occasion”.

people will still put platonic on their art and posts, imo, because they’re worried about breaking ranboo and tubbo’s irl boundaries by looking like they ship them. or even just being accused of shipping real life minors. and that’s a valid fear to have.

the thing is though: c!bee duo are not cc!bee duo. they’re roleplay characters. cc!bee duo are not okay with being shipped, but they made their characters get canonically married, and call each other “husbands”. so it’s okay to write the word “husband” in your comic without adding “platonic” to it, i promise.

telling the ccs that their characters have to be platonic is... weird. it comes off as not only babying them, but also as saying teens can’t date without it being gross. which isn’t true.

(this is why seeing people overuse “platonic husband” so much bothers me. like, they ARE husbands. you can just say it. what are you trying to hide...?)

-

do i think they’re canonically romantic? ehh, its likely. it’s still okay to interpret them as platonic, because again, it’s hard to tell where jokes end and roleplay begins. like, maybe it’s jokes in the rp too, and c!bee duo are just friends. friends can and should be allowed to make jokes like that with each other! aro & ace marriages exist!

or, maybe it’s actually part of the rp, and they’re very much romantic. we don’t know!

some people say they could be a qpr (queerplatonic romance), which i could see. (a qpr is a relationship that fluctuates between, or can’t quite be sorted into, “romantic” and “platonic”. people in a qpr can do romantic things while having platonic feelings for each other). in my opinion this is a very valid interpretation as well!

-

CONCLUSION (sorry this got so long omfg):

are c!bee duo romantic?

its likely, but you can still interpret them however you like!

should i put /p on bee duo content?

ehhh? i find it annoying when it’s overused (as do others), but if you’re worried you can. its up to preference. putting it too much is weird though

should i put /p on things cc! bee duo do?

no. you’re not the one saying it so you can’t decide the tone tags for that. imagine you said something to your friend and a random stranger came up and was like “haha but that was /p right...?”

can i ship c!bee duo?

mmm. i’m not sure on this one. they are canonically married and very flirtatious, but the ccs don’t like being shipped and they’re close enough to being the ccs that actively shipping might be against boundaries.

can i treat c!bee duo as romantic?

yes. literally just don’t be weird about it. it’s not that hard! you can understand that two characters are husbands without making it weird

here’s the most important thing: boundaries. cc bee duo still haven’t told us what their preferences and canon is about this whole thing.

right now, i am assuming based on what they already show us they’re comfortable with, but! the second they give us any more info! all these opinions will change!

i am only going off what they do. i would never want to cross boundaries at all. i just wish they would make theirs a little more clear.

..... i hope that helped anon, i went way off the rails... i need to go to sleep.

[c-is-for-circinate]

Post-ep #136

Oh that last fight was just what I needed to cope with the skeevy, skin-crawly feeling of the party interacting with Lucien again. We went through the entire run of Aeor without any Wild Magic surges that were significant in combat--with only Fjord's (admittedly excellent and hilarious) hair loss affecting anything at all!--and I am just so grateful that we got to see mini-Veth and Sheepleb in such a tense moment after all.

Y'all, I hate Lucien. I hate him, I think, more than any other villain in either campaign. More than Trent, even. Because Lucien, like no other villain we've met, plays only and always on Lucien's terms.

And you know, the more I think about it, the more I think my visceral dislike for Lucien comes from the exact same place as my general love for all of Taliesin's characters--it's his certainty. He knows, just like Molly always knew (like Percy usually knew, and Caduceus still often does) that of course what he's doing is the right thing to be doing, and what other course could there even be? Of course his understanding of the universe is superior to everyone else around him. Yes, he's the smartest, wisest, most in-the-know person in every single room; yes, of course it gets exhausting, being so much more aware of how everything in the world works than everybody else. And yet he likes these people, he supposes, so he'll wait patiently for them now and again, and tsk and sigh at their bad manners as they refuse to give in to common sense and basic decency, but what can you do? That's people, I suppose.

And when we see those tendencies in Taliesin's PCs, I find them so utterly compelling, because no matter how sure Percy or Molly or Caduceus have ever been about anything, the narrative universe still knows they're not the ultimate authority. Sometimes the things they predict do not come to pass and sometimes the forces of the world do not act as the characters think they should and sometimes they are simply wrong. They have exactly as much agency as the other PCs around them, no more and no less, and when there are clashes they lose as much as they win. They find themselves in the midst of a compromise more often than they do either.

Because, most importantly, they love their friends: enough to sacrifice for them. Enough to compromise for them. Enough to admit they're wrong, even, sometimes, on very rare and very excellent occasions, because sometimes the people you love are worth admitting that you don't actually know how the world works, it turns out, at all. At least for a minute.

And I love that. I love the back-and-forth struggle of certain philosophy trying to hammer itself against a world that doesn't have to follow anybody's rules. That's a really compelling story to me, and it's part of why I've enjoyed watching Cad so much these past hundred-odd eps.

Lucien, though? Lucien has all of the ego, the steel clarity of understanding and purpose, the conviction of Molly or someone like Molly. Except that for Lucien, Nonagon of the Cognoza? The universe doesn't call him out on it.

Lucien is so powerful. He's so powerful, and that doesn't just make him dangerous because he can take the party in a fight--something we don't even necessarily know is true. It makes him dangerous because he knows he's powerful, and the party knows he's powerful, and he uses that as an excuse to steamroll situations, and the team is afraid enough of him to let him.

And I have more to say about that, I think, but also I can't keep my eyes open and it has been a very long day, so I think I am going to bed now. More CR thoughts, maybe, in the morning. And damn Lucien to hell etc etc and all that, anyway.

[gubes-sweaters]

Mind, Body, and Soul 3

Authors Note: This is a Spencer Reid AU inspired by @subspencer​ . This is their original idea and thanks again to them for letting me use this AU. Also, side note I was thinking what type of hair cut Spencer would have in this AU and I’m thinking season 10/11 hair is the most fitting. Just to remind everyone that Lindsey Vaughn, Cat Adams, Spencer Reid, and Penelope Garcia aren’t canon to Criminal Minds, but any other character I mention is.

Content Warning: Drug use (weed), swearing, that’s all I can think of but if there's anything else don’t be afraid to let me know.

Word Count: 3K

You can find part two here

Chapter 3: Snooping Roommates

I wake up to loud banging on my door, a screaming roommate trying to wake me up, and the dead weight of Spencer’s arm that practically has me in a death grip.

“(y/n) wake up I need my straightener that you borrowed. I need to straighten my hair before class and I don't want to be late!” She’s shouting while banging on my door. I turn over and look at my alarm clock and see that it’s only ten am. Great, I’m only going to get four hours of sleep when I feel like I could sleep for a week. This loud banging isn’t doing any favors for my headache either. Then it suddenly hits me that I need to wake up Spencer and get him to hide in my room somewhere because no doubt my friend Stella will barge in. I mean normally it isn’t a problem we’ve been best friends since kindergarten, but when I’m trying to hide a plug that just spent the night, even though he is practically a stranger to me in my room it’s not an ideal time for her to snoop.

“Sorry, I’m awake just give me a second!” I holler back at her, so she’ll stop banging on the door so loudly. I know I’m not going to make her super late because she doesn’t have class until twelve, but she takes forever to get ready nonetheless. I manage to wiggle out of Spencer's grasp, so I can sit up and wake him up. “How is he still asleep or maybe he’s dead that would get rid of one problem at least.” I think to myself while I’m trying to shake him awake and even though I’m joking for a sliver of a second I think he might actually be dead. It wasn’t until he snored ever so slightly and turned away from me I knew he was actually breathing.

“Spencer, Spencer you need to wake up and get in the closet.” I say to him while shaking him even more aggressively.

“Wow, I haven’t thought about being in the closet in a long time.” He mumbles back to me.

“Spencer this isn’t the time for jokes now get in my closet.” I say as I continue to shake him to make sure he doesn’t go back to sleep.

“Wait, I have to do what now.” He finally sits up and ponders my words for a second.

“You have to get in the closet my friend needs something out of my room, and she’ll never let it go if she sees you in here.” I repeat to him for the third time while pointing at my closet.

“Okay, okay fine.” He says putting his hands up surrendering to my ridiculous request after collecting his stuff off the nightstand and pushing his shoes under my bed.

“Hey is everything okay in there or did you go back to sleep?” Stella asks while pounding on the door once more.

“No, I’m just trying to get dressed. Give me a second to grab the straightener and you probably should stop pounding on the door before we get a noise complaint my dad would murder all three of us.” I say before making sure that Spencer is in the closet with the door closed. I hurry and grab the straightener and do a quick once over of my room to make sure that nothing is out of place. I open my door to one peeved friend with her dark brown curly hair going in every single direction. I hand the straightener to her hoping she’ll take it and leave.

“Thanks, also do you have that book you said I could borrow? I’m going to have two hours to kill between classes and I can’t be bothered to drive back home” She asks right before I was about to close the door.

“Oh yeah, it’s in the drawer of my left nightstand.” I say before making a gesture pointing towards it with my head.

“Okay?” She says probably because of my odd demeanor. I quickly shuffle over to my closet basically guarding it with my life. At the same time, she makes her way over to the nightstand and when she looks at it, she lets out a weird chuckle and picks something up. She turns to me as I’m standing in front of the closet. When she turns around she’s holding up a condom. “Goddammit, Spencer!” I think to myself while I think about excuses for why that would be in my room.

“Did somebody get a boyfriend and not tell their friend. Even more importantly, did somebody lose their virginity and NOT TELL ME!” She says in a more excited manner than upset that I wouldn’t tell her something like that. I mean we’re adults not in grade school anymore so it’s not a huge deal.

“No, I didn’t it must be Raven’s. It’s certainly not mine and even if I did you wouldn’t need to announce it to the world, so can you keep your voice down.” I say while partially whispering in hopes that Spencer didn’t hear any of that because I’m not in the mood to be teased, and I’m especially not in the mood for the million questions I get when people find out.

“Raven come here! We need a family meeting!” She shouts oblivious to the company we have with us. Of course, she’s going to run with this and think it’s hilarious because we’re friends it’s what we do. I know she would never do this if she knew that Spencer or anyone else was here because she wouldn’t want me to be embarrassed. Raven walks into the room with her black hair swinging back and forth in her ponytail in unison with her skirt.

“Yeah what’s up?” She asks quickly peaking her head in the doorway because she has a class at eleven.

“Would this happen to belong to you? We know it’s not mine because I have no need for a condom and I think my GIRLfriend would find it odd that I have any. If it’s not yours there’s only one other person in this house that it could belong to.” She manages to say between her giggles putting an emphasis on the girl part, so I can’t use the excuse that it might be Stella’s for whatever reason.

“Guys fine it’s mine but let it go because no I don’t have a boyfriend and no I didn’t lose…you know...it” I trail off trying to be as quiet as possible.

“There’s no need to be ashamed of being a virgin at twenty, but excuse us if we pick on you because you’re the only one out of us who hasn’t lost their virginity. Don’t even try to use the catholic school excuse anymore. It might’ve worked when we were in high school, but it doesn't anymore.” Raven chimes in clearly also having fun in this awkward situation.

“Okay, thanks mom now get out of my room. I didn’t wake up to play twenty-one questions.” I say trying to get them out of my room as fast a possible because I hear chuckles slowly becoming louder and louder from inside my closet.

“We’re only teasing you because we love you but I still kind of want to know why you have only one sitting on your nightstand.” Stella says while sitting it back down and finally picking up the book before making her way out of the room. She stops at the doorway turning to look at me clearly wanting an explanation. Raven being the snoop she is as well raises her eyebrows wanting an explanation too.

“Okay fine I may or may not have thought I was going home with somebody last night and Penelope practically threw one at me trying to get me to go home with him but last minute I chickened out. Are you guys happy now?” I pull the most bullshit excuse out of my ass, but they seem to believe it because they both give a silent nod while walking out and closing the door behind them. I run to lock the door while Spencer opens the closet with his hand over his mouth trying not to laugh.

“That sounds like the most cliché porn plot possible. A sweet little virgin catholic school girl what do you need me to dress up as a priest?” He says in between deep breaths trying not to bust out laughing.

“Don’t even start I won’t hesitate to kill you. No one knew who you came home with I bet I could get away with it, I’ve watched enough crime shows and I listened to my dad talk about it growing up.” I look at him giving him the stink eye trying to be a little intimidating even though I’m obviously joking, but it just makes him laugh more.

“Okay, we’ll see about that squirt.” He says while trying to control his laughter and lays back on my bed. I roll my eyes at the sudden usage of the nickname.

“I’m going to get ready don’t move and if my friends knock on the door don’t answer it. I can drive you back to your apartment after they leave.” I tell him trying to move on while making my way to my bathroom after grabbing clothes from my closet.

“Yes ma’am.” He says mocking me because I’m talking to him in the same way a mom would scold her toddler. In some ways, Spencer acts like a toddler, so I’m justified in the way I talk to him.

As I finish up taking a shower and running a brush through my hair to not look like I was hit by a truck, I get changed and walk back into my room. I walk out and see that Spencer is once again passed out in my bed. I sigh trying to figure out what to do and for the first time in the past fourteen hours, my prayers have been answered because both of my friends shout their goodbyes as they leave the apartment. As soon as I hear the lock click signaling that they left I open my door checking to see if the coast is clear. Once I make sure I’m safe I walk out to the kitchen and make breakfast. I sit and relax on the island for a second taking in everything that’s happened since last night. I close my eyes and bask in the warm sunlight coming through the window and take in the smell of coffee brewing. I go back to breakfast and I make sure to make enough food for me and Spencer. After I’m done I go to ask him if he wants any food and as I make my way to my room I smell something odd. I can’t place the smell at first over the smell of coffee and pancakes, but as soon as I open my door I immediately recognize the smell. Then I see him laying on my bed smoking a joint.

“Oh hey, you want a hit.” He offers after he seemed surprised to see me as if he wasn’t laying in my bed in my apartment.

“No I don’t smoke sorry, but I made breakfast if you want some.” I say before turning around and making my way back to the kitchen.

“So you don’t smoke, you don't have sex, and you don't really drink or party so what do you do for fun?” He asks while catching up with me. As I plate our food I wonder if I have anything actually interesting to tell him. It’s boring to say “Oh I go to class, then to work, then I study, and sometimes I get more bored than usual, so I knit.” When I figure I don’t have anything remotely fun to talk about I just shrug and give him a plate with pancakes, eggs, and bacon.

“How do you take your coffee?” I ask while pulling two mugs out of the cupboard before grabbing creamer and sugar.

“Like three teaspoons of sugar, but don’t try and change the subject. If you don’t know how to have fun that’s how I’ll make it up to you for helping me out last night. We’ll spend a day, it doesn’t have to be today, but we’ll spend a day where we have a day full of fun.” He says with a proud look on his face, and I can’t help but giggle at the look on his face it’s like he just had the idea of the century. You can tell he’s someone whose smart but is only very book smart because at the same time he has no sense of self-preservation and no common sense whatsoever.

“Okay, well I have to work tonight, but tomorrow I don’t have anything going on. What do you have in mind?” I ask while passing him coffee before joining him at the island with my food and coffee.

“That my dear is a mystery. It’s much more fun when it’s a surprise.” He says while booping my nose before reading what’s on the mug I gave him.

“The BAU? Who do you know that works for the FBI’s behavioral analysis unit or is this just some cute little souvenir?” He asks while looking at me with an eyebrow raised.

“My dad used to work for the BAU but it’s been a while. Right now he’s on a book tour.” I say trying to be brief as possible when talking about my dad.

“So are you super close with your dad is that why he pays for your apartment and gets you gifts like this?” He asks before taking a bite out of the bacon.

“It’s not really an extraordinary gift it’s just a mug first off. Second off how did you know that he pays for my apartment? Were you snooping through my room while I was making breakfast?” I ask genuinely curious how he drew that conclusion. I mean he’s not wrong but still.

“I heard you say and I quote “stop pounding on the door before we get a noise complaint my dad would murder all three of us.” I doubt that you would care what your dad thinks unless he pays for the apartment or this is his apartment, but I’m not sure why your mom and dad would let two other loud ass girls live in this apartment with them.” He says with a smug look on his face as if he cracked a seemingly unsolvable mystery.

“Good detective work Sherlock. I mean yeah you’re right my dad pays the rent for this place, but he and my mom aren’t together anymore, my mom happened to be unlucky wife number four, and to answer your question from earlier no I’m not extremely close with my dad. He was always at work, traveling, or working on his new book I’m pretty sure this apartment is how he chooses to make up for it.” I say very matter-of-factly like it’s nothing I think I’m just numb to it at this point.

“Well, welcome to the absentee fathers club. It’s full of daddy issues and forgotten birthdays.” He says before turning back to his food. Not having a dad around clearly doesn’t bother him, or he’s putting up a pretty good front like it doesn’t bother him.

“Anyway moving away from the subject of childhood trauma let’s move on to our day of fun. I’ll pick you up here at ten am sharp. I will tote you around all day until you learn how to have fun.” He says while doing a horrible impression of Steve Irwin as if we're going on some sort of adventure through the jungle. I just giggle in response as I go to clean up both of our plates.

“I’ll be ready at ten now are you ready for me to take you back home because I have to go to work soon.” I ask turning to face him while I rest my elbows behind me on the counter.

“Yeah let me go get my shoes and I’ll be ready.” He says before hopping off the stool at the kitchen island and makes his way back to my room. I laugh to myself because we just met, yet I get along with him like we’ve known each other for years. I quickly make my way to the laundry room, so I can grab my work shirt out of the dryer and change into it before we leave. I slip off my shirt and slip into my work shirt and tuck it into my jeans, before making my way back out to the living room. As I grab my keys and slip on my vans Spencer makes his way back out to the living room.

“Ready?” I ask him before opening the door. He just nods before slipping a piece of paper into my hand. I didn’t open it at the time. I didn’t even open it until I got off work that night but it was his number.

Me: hey, I just got off work and realized you gave me your number. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Good Night :)

Spencer: i’ll see you then. sweet dreams <3

As I’m sitting in my bed that night I just chuckle to myself before I turn my phone off and turn over trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in. As I get comfortable and I’m about to shut my eyes I spot that damn condom on the corner of my nightstand once again. Soon enough I finally shut my eyes and I’m able to get some sleep.

——————————————————————————

Taglist: @rexorangecouny @haylaansmi

[washymylifeaway]

SunaOsa fanfic recs,,, well writer recs LOL

HI! Can you tell I’m excited? Well I’m very excited! I have been stuck in SunaOsa hell for the longest time and I enjoy it very much down here :D Come join me, you won’t regret it LOL. But seriously, I love SunaOsa and I meant to do fics, but then the sheer number of writers I had compelled me to make a post for them ahahah.... I’m here to finally prove to everyone that I am actually in love with SunaOsa and that I have not been lying to you all LOL (ik no one actually cares, but it’s an important matter to me). LEGGO!

As always, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for fics before reading and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) Stay healthy loves <3

Each author is DIRECTLY linked to their SunaOsa works LOL. I actually didn’t think about this until now, and I didn’t know it’d work but here we are LOL. Whooooh internet :D Also, ignore that some of these writers have like less than 3 fics for SunaOsa,,,,,, I like their writing, okay? :’))))

I’m gonna preface this with I love all of these writers (if I didn’t, they wouldn’t be here) but I can only come up with so many ways to say I WOULD DIE FOR THIS WRITER and THEY WRITE BEAUTIFULLY so to save you from recursion, preface.

LINK TO MY SUNAOSA ML :D

DeathBelle // one I haven’t recommended and this one also got finished semi-recently, An Inconvenient Espionage by DeathBelle (E) 26.6k // a SPY AU! Where Osamu and Atsumu are separated due to necessity over anything else really, and both absolutely hate their partners :) I love their interactions as the fic progresses and how do you accidentally fck somebody? READ TAGS AND WARNINGS, SMUT!

tookumade // because I really can’t rerecommend the same mf fic for the 2384230 time (and cause this one deserves some love), colours in the dark by tookumade (G) 1.3k // an injury recovery fic :D The focus on the fic is on the recovery and the relationship more than anything, but I just love it so much! This is such a comfort fic, and I love their back and forth banter (but it’ll make you feel really single LOL).

rosegoldwriting // sjdkhjdslhf I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVEN’T RECOMMENDED THIS ONE ANYWHERE WHAT come on with the rain by rosegoldwriting (T) 6.5k // SOULMATE AUUUU! I love my soulmate AUs and this was no exception :D Also I love singing in the rain (it’s been a while since I’ve seen it, but ik it’s a great movie), and ngl I agreed with Suna,,,, kissing in the rain just feels like it’ll be wet... Regardless, I love the ending and I love this fic too so :) (also ryan gosling cameo LOL)

bastigod // A COLLECTION OF FICS cause I love them and I haven’t recommended this yet :0, i've got you in the end i wish i had you from the start by bastigod (T) 8.2k // this is a collection of 7 one shots for sunaosa week! I loved the prompts for that week, and I loved each and every single fic on this list :D They’re all so freaking good and my favorite chapter was ch 3 hands down ljdfadjsf it’s GREAT :D

pancake_surprise // CAUSE CHOCOLATE and honestly the dove wrappers are say some stupid things sometimes like who’s writing these LMFAO, Melt with You by pancake_surprise (G) 2.8k // Osamu is doing what any sane person does with dove chocolate advice, he follows it. Not that it has any good advice, but I mean ig it worked? Trust the process? Anyway, I agreed with Atsumu in this (LOL) but hey it ended cute and I think that’s all that matters :’)

badreputation // OKAY THERE’S ONLY TWO BUT I LOVE BOTH WHAT YOU GONNA DO? FIGHT ME?????? (pls don’t, I’ll lose) Take a hint by badreputation (T) 5.4k // UGH I LOVE THIS ONE! One of the first SunaOsa fics I read and one I keep rereading! I absolutely agree with the fact that Osamu is a Neanderthal and I love food as a love language (feeding me would make me swoon over you, however, if you WERE flirting with me, I would not know LMFAO).

minie_ai // again, only two but like I said what you gonna do about it >:( And I'll Feed You Again by minie_ai (G) 7.3k // MYTHOLOGY cause Suna is a cute fox who causes problems LOL. Also, I love the setting it’s in (ik random, but I wanted to put it out there :D). And SPAM NUMBER made me laugh (maybe my humor is a little too broken) but idk I just thought it was really funny akjshflkjasd.

miyarinnnn // PLEASE not everyone clowning them,,,, someone smack off the stupid grin I have on from reading it :)))) Call it passive or aggressive by miyarinnnn (T) 10.4k // OMG this fic was so much fun to read!!!! I loved how there was the Osamu + Omi bonding moment and the BONUS AT THE END AOSFJOIAS,,,,, There’s like a slight smut scene, but other than that, Osamu is the sappiest man ever. Yeah, it was really funny and cute and I had a great time reading it :D

sketchedsmiles // honestly, I have no words because I was like no way this would happen, but then the a/n and yea anyway double vision by sketchedsmiles (T) 18.3k // I do wanna know how this worked irl, but that’s beside the point LOL. This is why communication is key, but I mean ig I can’t really blame Suna LMFAO. The situations are just tailored so well to misunderstandings and every time is a near miss :’))))). But also shout out to beer pong king Osamu LOL.

sieges // parallax if you want some hanahaki, the art of keeping up by sieges (T) 12.3k // I actually did watch this movie (though you don’t need to in order to read this LOL) and I was really surprised cause I didn’t think anyone would’ve made a fic based on it! Honestly, I don’t think I would ever be able to agree to help my crush write a love letter to their crush, so props to Suna (lol maybe I’m just lame like that okay?) :’D

sifuhotman // even if you don’t wanna read it, go look at the photo at the very end, Paint by Numbers by sifuhotman (T) 5.3k // jealous Osamu because Suna stares at Atsumu LOL. BUT the discount combee comment make me cackle because I CAN SEE IT AJFKAFFJSA (esp with the picture provided, it’s been burned onto my brain). I like this fic because it has some cute twin moments and I love their relationship! (BUT THE COMBEE AFIOJOD.)

SilverMoonT // I love his cat, atypical confession by SilverMoonT (G) 15.5k // I’ve said this before, but I’m not a big fan of body switching fics. HOWEVER, I am a big fan of this,,, say what you want idc idc it’s a good fic. I love the Suna Akaashi best friend agenda in this, and I fully support it :D

spiritscript // I almost sent you all to angst town ahahah,,, maybe I should LOL,,,, two drinks by spiritscript (T) 4k // I saw the instagram post and then OF COURSE I had to come read the fic itself! And like the panic ordering is hilarious as well as the misunderstandings LOL. It’s a wild ride with a lotta coffee Suna doesn’t like LOL. BUT THE ENDING IS CUTE and no kiss kiss cause consent is important :)

lunarins // YES I LOVE THIS ONE JKASJD��you taste like strawberries on a summer evening by lunarins (T) 4.4k // I LOVE THIS ONE! I adore all the character cameos that happen (POOR SHIRABU) and THE ENDING AJHFKSJA. I love the ending. Also the food explanation by the writer was really cute and creative!!! (and I love how Osamu tells us what love taste like JADSJK!)

unrequitedangst // 3 fics but I love them all, working backwards till it rhymes by unrequitedangst (T) 4.2k // I love this fic, like loveeee. The plot is funny (I love pushing in the right direction to figure things out) and the way they plot against Atsumu is hilarious. Like gotta make sure that this makes him angry, yes.

sunablinks // there’s also only 3 fics so you should read all three :D, Cherry Bomb by sunablinks (T) 5.4k // CHECK TAGS AND WARNINGS cause they drink a lotta alcohol! But this fic is just Osamu being a mess and everyone makes some very bad decisions. Also, poor Meian san having to dead with their poor decision making skills LOL.

Surprisingly enough this didn’t take that long...... Like I think this is the fastest I’ve ever made a list,,,, Anyways, revelations aside, I had a lotta fun making this list cause like I’ve been saying, I’m in love with SunaOsa. They also definitely have some of the MOST tooth rotting fics I’ve ever read before (physical pain because of the fluff), so if you’re into that, you don’t have to look too far :)

Also sorry for not being super active in terms of new content, but this might continue through next week cause I’m getting busier :( Hopefully not though!

[forestwater87]

Hey! It's the one who wanted fanfiction writing advice and how to sorta join the fandom. So, I am currently writing a werewolf! au for Gwenvid, and I was wondering if I could ask you something (well, multiple somethings lol)? One, what are things you would like to see in a Gwenvid fic? Two, do you have any advice for writing a good first chapter? Mine is kind of short and not too good, but yours are super good. Three, how would Gwen react to becoming a werewolf? Scared or excited? Thanks!

Oooh, fun! I don’t know if I’m the best authority on this, but I think I have a couple followers who might also have some good insights. Let’s see . . .

Things I personally go feral for in Gwenvid fics:

That UST. Pining, longing, yearning -- whatever you wanna call it, all those little glances at each other then looking away when they get caught staring, getting distracted by a brush of skin against theirs or the other one looking amazing just out of nowhere, standing too close without realizing it and then awkwardly coughing and backing away . . . all of it. These two goobers in love with each other and completely oblivious is just . . . idk, it’s obviously personal preference, but that will-they-won’t-they dance is one of my favorite things about pre-established-relationship Gwenvid, and something I never get tired of. (Also, just saying: werewolf transformations have the distinct side effect of the werewolf waking up partially or completely naked in the forest. It’s a scenario ripe for awkward and/or hilarious situations.)

If they’re in an established relationship already, it’s all about those little domestic things. I mean, there can be domestic things even before they’re dating, because they live together for like 3-4 months out of the year so they have a routine going, but things like one of them keeping the light on for the other without thinking, making coffee/tea and leaving everything laid out just the way the other one likes it, communicating (or even arguing) with just a look, all the casual lil touches of two people so comfortable with each other that it’s automatic at this point. It’s an essential part of fluff that I sometimes feel is overlooked in favor of more dramatic hurt/comfort (which is also excellent, to be clear).

BANTER! It’s not so much a canon thing as a fanon one, but the artist formerly known as Ciphernetics basically established flirty teasing and back-and-forth as a staple of Gwenvid’s charm in their earth-shatteringly beautiful fanfiction (that I can’t link because tumblr softblocks posts with links, but if you look at my blog for like 10 seconds you’ll be able to figure out what I’m talking about), and I think everyone’s writing, including my own, needs more banter. They’re so different, after all; why not have them butt heads in a fun way?

Please please please don’t do NSFW if you’re uncomfortable with it, but there is nowhere near enough of it in Gwenvid-land. Just because we’re wholesome doesn’t mean we can’t also be kinky! (Oh man, I just realized I have no idea how old you are. Uhhhh if you’re not an adult just skip this one on by! Or if you are an adult and this ain’t it. It’s like it wasn’t ever here! Poof! I should probably just delete this, but maybe it’ll awaken a spark of inspiration in someone. Lord knows I haven’t been driving the smut train for a while, so I’m just hoping someone else will do my job for me. Plus Gwen would want me to include this suggestion, especially if there are werewolves involved.)

You know, there’s not a lot of action-hero Gwenvid out there, is there? Most of it’s relationship melodrama and domestic fluff, which I love -- obviously, I write it literally all the time -- but with a werewolf AU you have the opportunity for gratuitous violence, and both David and Gwen have proven they can kick a whole lot of ass and deal out (or take) a lot of pain. If you need two people fighting monsters -- or fighting as monsters -- you could do a lot worse than those two. It’d be a fun change of pace that’d work well with their character dynamic.

Writing a first chapter:

I don’t have a ton of advice here that isn’t pretty common, but the biggest thing is to start in the middle of action. This can range in terms of drama: a camp activity going horribly wrong, a nightmare, maybe even David discovering Gwen’s a werewolf. Your story doesn’t have to go in chronological order, after all, so if you have to backtrack in later scenes or chapters that’s not a bad thing in the slightest! 

It’s much better to start with a really exciting, gripping situation and then backfill in the information that matters than starting off with all that boring worldbuilding and exposition. Don’t get me wrong, that worldbuilding and exposition are necessary, but they’re also like . . . I dunno, salt. It’s essential to the recipe, but no one would say it’s their favorite part of a meal, and having to eat a whole pile of it before they get to the good stuff wouldn’t be enjoyable at all. It’s better sprinkled throughout to add flavor to your story as needed.

I like that metaphor! It’s kinda cliche, but I think it still gets the job done.

So yeah, start with something exciting and know it’s okay for your readers to go, “wait, what the fuck’s going on?” That’s kind of a great thing, actually; it establishes mystery and introduces higher stakes, and just gets your readers going. It’s also more fun to write, which is good! (For example, I just read a really great book call The Chill, which opened with a woman tying a bag over her head, weighting herself down with chains, and throwing herself into a river to “join the work.” Who is this person? What work? Did she know she was going to die -- it definitely doesn’t feel like a suicide, but what else did she think was going to happen?? I’m instantly on board, even if the next few scenes were focused on establishing exposition and actually kinda boring. It’s all about that hook.)

To be fair: I don’t do this all that often in my own fics. For every “starting the story with a botched assassination attempt,” we have “starting the story with waking up.” It’s important to have a first chapter that matches and sets the tone of your story; if it’s going to be a rip-roaring action/horror adventure, you’re going to want to start things off with all that stuff I mentioned before. If you’re writing cute fluff, there’s nothing wrong with your in media res chapter opening being an adorable fluffy scene. Compelling doesn’t have to mean scary or action-packed, but more serve as a teaser for what the rest of the story is going to bring. I’ve been leaning on action or thriller stuff because a werewolf AU implies some level of creature-feature monster spookiness, but any tone works as the start of a fic, as long as it’s not “here’s a laundry list of the universe’s rules,” because that’s boring and you can weave that into the rest of your story later. 

As for your other comment, short isn’t bad at all; in fact, if you want to make your first chapter a really short, compelling scene, that can be a great way to draw people in. But I also am a proponent of writing until it’s done, and couldn’t stick to a page or word count to save my life. My chapters are all over the place, and sometimes I’ll randomly chop them up if I feel like it’s going too long but usually I don’t bother. The more you write, the more you develop a feel for when the story, chapter, or scene needs to end, but as you’re starting out you might wanna snag a beta to help you find that stopping place.

Wow, this is long! Awkward! Sorry about that! I’ll make this last one short:

Gwen the werewolf:

I can’t imagine any universe in which she isn’t psyched as hell. I think she desperately wants to be more special and important than she is, and having a sexy monster superpower would only be a good thing to her, regardless of whatever its drawbacks may be. She might get tired of certain aspects of being a werewolf as the honeymoon phase wears off, but in the beginning I think she’d be excited and maybe even relieved.

Anyway, I hope that helps! It’s a lot of rambling, but I imagine you’re used to that by now. :)

[terramythos]

TerraMythos' 2020 Reading Challenge - Book 29 of 26

Title: The House in the Cerulean Sea (2020)

Author: TJ Klune

Genre/Tags: Fantasy, Comedy, Romance, Found Family, LGBT Protagonist, Third-Person 

Rating: 10/10

Date Began: 10/13/2020

Date Finished: 10/18/2020

Linus Baker, a forty-year-old caseworker for the Department in Charge of Magical Youth (DICOMY), lives a solitary and mundane life. But when he’s summoned by Extremely Upper Management and given a top-secret case, everything changes. Linus is sent to the classified Marsyas Island and tasked with investigating an orphanage housing six dangerous magical children-- including the Antichrist. He is to live among the residents for one month, record his observations, and report back to the organization. No more, no less. 

The master of the house, Arthur Parnassus, is a mysterious and enigmatic man. But Linus soon learns that Arthur will do anything to protect his wards. As Linus grows closer to Arthur and the children, a secret from the past and prejudice of the present threaten to destroy the orphanage and their way of life. Linus must decide if he can abandon the world he knows in order to help the ones that need it the most. 

"Fire and ash!” Lucy bellowed as he paced back and forth. “Death and destruction! I, the harbinger of calamity will bring pestilence and plague to the people of this world. The blood of the innocents will sustain me, and you will all fall to your knees in benediction as I am your god.” 

He bowed. 

The children and Mr. Parnassus clapped politely. Theodore chirped and spun in a circle. 

Linus gaped. 

“That was a lovely story, Lucy,” Mr. Parnassus said. “I especially liked your use of metaphors. Keep in mind that pestilence and plague are technically the same thing, so it did get a little repetitious at the end, but other than that, quite impressive. Well done.” 

Minor spoilers and content warning(s) under the cut. 

Content warnings for the book: Semi-detailed discussions of child abuse and trauma. Internalized fatphobia (challenged). Structural discrimination, and hatred/prejudice associated with that, some of it internalized. 

I'm going to have a hard time reviewing this book, because it was so goddamn good I don’t think I’ll do it justice in a few short paragraphs. So here’s the fast version: The House in the Cerulean Sea was a fucking delight to read from the first page. It’s full of genuine humor, magic, and charm, while being just this side of heart-wrenching. Though geared toward adults, it’s the first novel I’ve read in a long time that captures that childlike enthusiasm I used to have when reading a good fantasy book. It takes place in a world with magic (obviously), but it’s 98% character-driven. Both the main plot and the (queer!) romantic subplot are woven together so well that neither feel tacked on or lacking. The found family hit me in the emotions again and again and again. I read books out loud, and I spent the last third of this book struggling because I kept fucking crying and having to take regular breaks before continuing. And then I went through the whole book to find a good quote for this review and ended up fucking crying again. So yeah. 

Ok. Got that off my chest. Usually in these reviews I talk about what I liked and then what didn't work for me or confused me. The good news (?) is I have zero complaints or critiques on this one. So you just get to hear me gushing about it for a while.  

Since this is a character-driven book that’s where I’ll start. Linus Baker, the protagonist, is great. Let me just say I love speculative fiction books starring older characters. At forty, Linus isn’t old, but it feels like the majority of spec fic stars people under thirty. Linus is also a conspicuously ordinary guy; prim and proper to a fault, no magic, oblivious in many ways (including to his own loneliness), but with a hidden sense of justice and protectiveness for people that comes out more and more. His development over the course of the novel and how much he grows to love and care for the other characters is just so good. The writing draws attention to this through repeated phrases and jokes one doesn’t expect to make a comeback (more on that later). Seeing him come out of his shell and stand up for what’s right is cathartic as hell. As a side note, it’s also nice to have a fat protagonist who struggles with his self-image but gets warm affirmation and support from his family and love interest. 

Arthur Parnassus, the deuteragonist and said love interest, is more of an enigma. A lot of his motivation and behavior makes sense once you get his Tragic Backstory (TM), and I think this will be a fun book to reread based on that. I picked up on some of it before the reveal, but not everything. But without spoiling it, I do love seeing an older (mid-forties) father figure who would do literally anything to make sure the children on the island have the care and love they need. Seeing his patient love and acceptance of them tugs my heartstrings. Maybe I’m a bit of a sap. Linus and Arthur’s obvious mutual crush on each other is also really cute, okay. There’s something about older queer people finding love that makes me smile. 

And the children are great too, of course. I really liked each of them and thought they were all unique and interesting. My favorites are probably Lucy the six-year-old Antichrist, Sal the were-Pomeranian (his arc just really hit home for me), and Talia the gnome. They all have such distinct and fun personalities, and seeing them interact is great and often hilarious. I’m not very paternal, but I love seeing children with sad/abusive pasts blossom into their best selves with love, guidance, and support. It’s uh, a little personal. I’d be remiss not to mention Zoe, the resident island sprite, who brings a whole lot of personality and rounds off the group. 

When I say the story is character-driven, I mean it. While a fantasy novel, there’s not any significant violence or action in the story (except for maybe one scene if you squint). The House in the Cerulean Sea is carried by its characters, interactions, and worldbuilding. The humor and inherent charm helps too -- and manages to do so without ever feeling trite. I can’t help but admire that. I was never bored; I honestly enjoyed every page because I liked the characters so much. Not to say there isn’t an overarching conflict with the whole DICOMY thing, but most of the focus is Linus struggling and coming to terms with his discoveries-- about the others and himself, and how he can make a difference on a grand scale. To me that kind of stuff is captivating. And boy does seeing someone find the place they belong get me. As I said, found family is a big thing in this book. 

Aside from that, the writing is just super; it literally had me laughing from the first page. I can’t believe the fucking lemur joke came back at the end, too. But on that subject, I love that this book utilizes recurring jokes and phrases to show Linus’ character development. In particular, “see something, say something” and “don’t you wish you were here?” have VERY specific meanings to Linus at the beginning of the story, and over time transform into the polar opposite. I’m  holding myself back because I don’t want to spoil shit, but if you read it you’ll see what I mean. There’s also a lot of meaningful callbacks to certain dialogue earlier in the story and I eat that kind of stuff up. But even small details, like the early quip about Linus forgetting his umbrella, come back to deliver an emotional gutpunch near the end. So thanks for that, Mr. Klune. 

The book really takes a turn in the second half of the story, which is a tad darker. Avoiding the Actual Spoilers, this is where prejudice and hatred of the outside world become a bigger part of the story. We learn what’s really at stake, and that this wonderful found family in the first half is threatened by a world that hates and fears them. Boy does that shit get emotional REAL quick. Yes the allegory is obvious. No, that’s not a bad thing. Ultimately, The House in the Cerulean Sea becomes a story about love, hope, and change; and boy does that shit strike my gay little heart right where it hurts. 

If you’re looking for a (literal) magical pick-me-up (ignore my comment about crying a whole lot) with INTENSE found family vibes and a side helping of queer mlm romance, dear God read The House in the Cerulean Sea. I don’t think I did it justice in this review; just trust me, it’s real good. My only complaint is that it ends; I want more, damn it! 

[daniwritesdrafts]

Modern! Haverston Men in a Small Car

A/N: Omg! I'm really nervous posting this because... these characters came from a great story and author. HUHEHEHEHU. This prompt is not orginally mine. I saw it somewhere here and kinda used it with these characters. Also, if you're interested in regency/historical romance, action, thriller-suspence, drama, comedy... check out J.D. Ruiz's works on Wattpad.

Calan Haverston

- Calan stood in front of his wife, looking back and forth from Cressida to the silver Lexus IS. His face contorted in subtle repugnance as Cressy presented him their ride for the day. He inwardly cursed. He shouldn’t have asked Mac to drop him off to Cressy’s apartment. HE SHOULDN’T HAVE LAZED AROUND TO DRIVE. He should’ve brought his own car.

- Cressy is in her old apartment, renovating. Since they married, her apartment just sat there unoccupied. It would be a waste to just leave it empty. Cressy, wants to make use of it as an Airbnb. It’s near to university and it’s not that far away from the establishments.

- ‘I should’ve known.’, was all he can think of as his lips pursed in grim. Still, shifting his gaze filled with dread and wary from a smiling Cressida to the car.

- When Cressy noticed that Calan has been silent for so long, she snapped her fingers in front of his face, getting his attention. She opened the passenger seat.

- “Here, my dear Lord.”, her arms extending towards the opened car door, inviting the man to get inside.

- Calan’s quiet distaste turned into an obvious horror upon realizing that his wife is going to drive. Being squished in a small car is one thing, Cressy driving is another. He shook his head. This is bad. Like bad, BAD.

- Cressy looked at Calan who was shaking his head.

- “I’m driving, Calan. You’re not going fit in the driver’s seat, just so you know.”

- “And you think in the passenger seat, I will?”Calan remarked at Cressida’s atrociousness.

- Cressy just shrugged. Calan groaned, turning to a tad bit frustrated. “NO, Cressy! I will not fit in the passenger seat.” He exclaimed, voice raising an octave.

- “Backseat then.” Cressida answered him nonchalantly, closing the passenger seat’s door then moving to open the backseat.

- Calan gritted his teeth, exasperated. His wife has these moments and he should’ve been used to it by now. “Cressy, darling, It’s too small.” He retorted, calmly this time.

- “Well, this is MY car.” Cressy crossed her arms as she leaned on the car.

- “Cressy…” he whined.

- “Well, it’s not my fault that you lazed around to drive and just asked Mac to drop you off here. So, No Ride, No Snide, mister.” Cressy quipped while gently patting his shoulder as she goes around the car to the driver’s seat.

Adrien Haverston

- Adrien attended a business meeting on the next district. It was a project the Haverston Corp. had been eyeing out for months. He had sealed the deal, earning the company another client and investors.

- He was on his way back to where he parked his car. He arrived to where he had parked his car and found that one of his car’s wheels got stolen. Stupefied, his eyes scantily searched the whole area. It sure did not look sketchy but here he is. Dumbfounded that his SUV had only three remaining wheels.

- Without hesitation, he called Mary asking her to come pick him up then proceeded to narrate the events. Mary, on the other line, found it hilarious. Adrien rolled his eyes as he listened to Mary’s laugh before answering “Yes” to picking him up.

- “I’ll arrive in five. I’m not too far from the area.” she said on the line. Adrien mumbled ‘thanks’ and ‘I love you’ before ending the call.

- While waiting, he called the car services, asking if they could get his car. He narrated the events to the car service agent before they agreed to pick it up in thirty minutes. He called the car insurance company for the car to be fixed.

- Adrien was still talking to the car insurance agent when his wife arrived. He was leaning on his car’s hood while his back faced Mary.

- Mary tapped his shoulder, kissed his cheek while he is still on the phone. “Yes, please. It’s a public park space… Yes… Near the bridge… Yes… So, can you get it done within 24 hours?... No?... 48 then?... Alright then, I’ll take that… Thanks, bye.”

- “Love…” Adrien cupped her face as he leaned on her forehead. Exhaustion evident on his face.

- Mary caressed his face, “I’m glad you’re safe, you know?” she said gently. She knew how startled he was. This is the first time this happened and anyone would be as stunned as he was and Mary knew that.

- “Should we wait here?” she asked, after a moment of silence. Adrien shook his head. “Come, let’s go now.” Holding his hand, she pulled him gently as they walk then anchored her arm around his.

- “Mary, what car did you—” Adrien’s question died down from his mouth when he saw the familiar black Ford Focus ST. It was the car he gave to Mary on their first wedding anniversary.

- Adrien blinked. He seriously won’t fit in there. He bought it so Mary can have mobility when he isn’t around. When they go out, they always use his SUV and he always drive.

- Adrien opened and then shut his mouth, unsure of what to say… or if he still has anything to say with all that happened.

- “Love, you know that I’m a tall man, right?” is what all he could muster, trying to revalidate that Mary knows his height, or size or the space he’s about to accumulate for that matter.

- “I know.” She answered.

- “So why this car?” he inquired further, trying to make sense Mary’s choice of car.

- “Well, I was already inside this car, on my way to where Cressy and Belinda are. I don’t want to go back to the house to change cars. I know that you won’t fit in the passenger’s seat, so you can sit in the backseat.” his wife reasoned out. Adrien pinched the bridge of his nose. She knows but she just doesn’t want to change cars.

- Adrien let out an exasperated sigh. “Backseat?! Mary, Love! What did I ever do to you to be treated like this?”

- Mary chuckled at his exasperated sight. Honestly, Adrien’s so done for today, his wife is not even helping at all—laughing at his expense.

- Mary tapped his nose, “Quit the dramatics, dear husband. Take the backseat or I’ll just tie you on the roof of my car. I think the ropes Cressy gave me is here somewhere.”

- Adrien resigned and just half-heartedly went inside the backseat and scowled at Mary the whole ride back home.

Mckenzie Haverston

- Mac groaned as he felt the effects of the booze from last night’s event. He and his brothers got together for a boy’s night out. His head is pounding. Half awake, he scanned the living room of Calan’s bachelor pad. He saw his two brothers passed out on the floor.

- He inhaled sharply as he felt a pang on his head, scrambling to the kitchen to drink water.

- “Hello, Mac?” Belinda sleepily answered on the other line. “Sweetheart, can you please come and pick me up in Calan’s bachelor pad?” Mckenzie’s voice is hoarse from sleep and from being drunk.

- “Mac, it’s too early…” Belinda complained, stifling a yawn but failed to do so. Mac groaned again as another headache kicks in. “Please… I want to sleep beside you now.”He pleaded.

- Yawning, Belinda agreed. “Just let me get ready. I’ll be there in 45.”

- Mac sat on the dining table, slumped, resting his head on his arms on the table. He stood up minutes later, going over the counter for some coffee.

- After a couple of sips of coffee, Mac felt slightly better. However, he still needs to shower and rest at home. With Belinda. Speaking of, Mac looked at his wrist watch, it’s been past 30 minutes since the phone call ended. Bel didn’t give a heads up where she is.

- Maybe Belinda took her time bathing. He inwardly whined. Or maybe she’s having a hard time choosing her OOTD. Mac blew an air on his forehead, silently wishing that she’s not being meticulous with her outfits today. She was just going to pick him up.

- Coincidentally, his phone chimed. ‘On my way. See you on 5.’ Belinda texted him. A wave of relief coursed through Mckenzie. He thanked the heavens for the miracle. Mac sat on the dining table, drinking another cup of coffee when the doorbell rang.

- “Finally.” He muttered as he walked to open the door.

- “Hi, Sweetheart. Good morning.” He greeted as he pecked her cheek.

- “Eww, Mac, you stink.” Belinda teased, as she held her hand up to her nose which made Mac frown. “Well, are you ready to go?” she continued. Mac nod.

- With their hands held, they walked to the elevator, going down the basement where she parked.

- Belinda stopped walking, there he saw the white Ford Fiesta ST.

- He eyed Belinda. “Sweetheart, I can’t fit inside your car.” He told her. There’s not much headroom for someone like him. She knows that.

- “Here.” Belinda opened the backseat door.

- Mckenzie looked at his wife incredulously. “Won’t.”he opposed.

- “Fine, I guess I’m leaving you here then.” Belinda casually remark as she quickly moved to get inside the driver’s seat which made Mac hastily get inside the cramped backseat of the car.

[love-fireflysong]

Day 1: Rainbow

Fandom: Until Dawn Character(s): Emily Davis, though all the others are mentioned. Words: 1058 Rating: T (Character death, swearing) Author’s Notes: Welp, I honestly didn’t intend to even write anything for this writing challenge but here we are! I decided it would be fun to just see what ideas came to mind from one or two of the prompts has a joke, and thought it would be hilarious to give Rainbows to Emily of all people. And well, that was my first mistake clearly. You can find the original post here for any others that want to try!

I will not tolerate any Emily hate. She may not be my fav character in the game, but I still love her a lot and having a gun shoved in your face would mess anyone up.

Personally, Emily had never been a huge fan of rainbows. It wasn’t that she hated them per say, she had just always been indifferent to them. There were far more exciting things out there than looking at a spectrum of light that didn’t actually exist cause it was just light that reflected off of water droplets that sometimes appeared in the sky after rain.

None of which was helping her as she glared at the mug of coffee that one of the officers at the police station had given her.The chintzy rainbow adorning the one side was way too cheerful and uplifting for the shit she had endured and somehow survived. Jess had once told her that rainbows were supposed to be a symbol of hope or promise or of good things to come. If so, then they were pretty shitty symbols in her opinion. Nothing that had just happened at been any of those things.

(Unlike her, Jess loved rainbows. Her blue eyes would always brighten up when one appeared in the sky after a rain shower. She would squeal in childlike joy when she watched the colors dance across her hand when cast through a window.

She didn't want to think about Jess.)

She took a drink and grimaced at both the taste and texture. The coffee was more like black sludge, thick and bitter. Em had a feeling that no amount of sugar or cream would be able to save this tar in a cup. She stopped trying to drink it. The color and consistency reminded her too much of the oil that had been everywhere in the mines, that stained her hand and clothes.

(Matt should have been in the mines with her, but he had failed to save her and fell with her when the tower finally collapsed further into the mines. And when she had woken up, leg tangled in rope and miraculously alive, he was nowhere to been seen.

She didn’t care about Matt anymore.)

She had found Beth’s head in the mines. Had found Hannah’s journal in the mines. Had been chased by that, that thing in the mines. She had barely escaped the mines with her life.

(Sam and Mike had gone down into the mines to find Josh. They never came back with him.

That was fine. She hoped he froze to death and rotted down there.)

In an effort to stop staring at the glazed image on the mug, and to stop from throwing it at the wall with a soul shattering scream, Em looked towards the officer that was standing nearby to keep an eye on her. She wasn’t too sure why, leaving the safety of the building to go outside was the absolute last thing she wanted to do with her time. But to her horror, her eyes caught on the carefully holstered pistol around their waist. The same way her eyes kept catching on it throughout her interview.

Unbidden, Mike flashed across her mind, the barrel of the gun flashing in low light of the monitors and aimed at her face.

(Mike was dead now. The sickening crack of his spine shattering as he was thrown against the pillar ensured that there was no way he would ever walk out even if the lodge hadn’t burst into flames.

She didn't feel anything when she used the commotion as a distraction to run outside.)

There had been so much screaming. Worse had been Ashley and Chris egging Mike on, adamant that Emily was going to turn into one of those things and kill them. Her hand that encircled the mug still stung from when it connected with Ash’s face, but it was a better sting then the bite on her shoulder.

(They were dead now, too. She had been running behind them, away from the wendigos chasing them down the hall, but they had been too slow. So, she had shoved Ash out of the way and into the wall. But because Chris had been holding Ashley’s hand, she hadn’t been able to brace herself and fell, taking him with her.

She wondered if they had died still holding hands. She hoped not.)

Sam had been the only one to stick up for her. Trying to convince Mike to lower the gun and for Ash and Chris to calm down. Em still thinks she should have tried harder, should have ripped the gun from Mike’s hands.

(Sam was also dead, though she didn’t see it happen. A few seconds after she had made it outside, the lodge had quite literally exploded with Sam still in it. She didn’t know if Sam had stayed behind in repentance for closing the cinema room door and locking it despite Chris and Ash still being in the hall. Didn’t know if it was Hannah or the flames that killed her in the end.

She decided that she didn’t care either way.)

The sound of the only door to the room was enough to rip her eyes away from the gun, and very nearly dropped the rainbow mug in her shock. Jess stood in the doorway, huddling deeper into a very old and worn leather jacket that Em had never seen before, and she looked like shit. Jess’s always immaculately styled hair was coming out of her braid, her make-up was running down her face, long and deep gashes covered what little of her chest Em could see beneath the jacket, and every bit of her available skin was covered in blood and dirt and gore and who knows what else.

Before she could even move though, Jess saw her and ran towards her, flinging her arms around Em’s neck with a sob and broke down. The two of them sat in the same chair, rocking each other back and forth, as they both cried and apologized and swore that they would never let a stupid guy get between them again. Slowly, the two of them calmed down; emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted and all cried out. With nothing else to do, Em offered her the mug of coffee still in her hands and watched as Jess’ baby blue eyes lit up just the smallest amount at the rainbow on the side.

(Maybe Jess had been right. Rainbows were a symbol of hope.

Not that she would ever admit it.)

[relaxxattack]

wait omg what are the canon endgame wof pairings you DON'T like? 👀 no pressure of course, im just not a fan of several of them either and im interested to hear what you think :]

honestly most of them?? like idk 😭

ripnami for one is just odd to me. like i don’t dislike riptide but there’s an age difference and a like, immediate love type thing, and the romance is just sorta Boring and Annoying imo?? maybe that’s just cuz im gay though

starflights whole debacle was ATROCIOUS. like i understand why he mightve had a crush on sunny— she was like one of the only other people he knew growing up— but they were all essentially adopted siblings and she obviously felt platonically towards him? and then fatespeaker was brought in, and one part of fans hated her for replacing sunny cuz they shipped sunnyflight, another group of fans hated her for obviously being practically written AS a sunny replacement, and then the last third just fiercely loved her out of spite. so like. starspeaker is Cute, sure, but it just feels like a weird work around to the supreme awkwardness of sunnyflight.

clay and peril? ehhh. clay seems like, SO aromantic to me, so that’s one reason i dont like it, and the other is just. peril as a character always felt like she was handled weirdly. like im not sure if she was a good concept poorly executed, or a bad concept that sort of followed itself through well, but either way my feelings on her constantly go back and forth. i get that she’s probably just like, genuinely mentally ill, but i don’t think the author really represented it too well? but at the same time, i don’t think i’m one to talk on the rep of people like that. (is sociopath the right word??? i literally don’t even know). basically it bothers me how she swings from like. yandere to hilarious older sister character. i love her, but i also feel weird about her. she’s like a girboss in a bad way.

glorybringer… okay theyre really cute, it’s just their development feels a little silly to me. then again, it’s a children’s book. also there’s an age difference, although idk how much that counts for dragons??

moonbli: i hate moonbli okay. they dumped qinter— one of the Only Well Developed Ships— for moonbli. ive ranted before about how much i hate the winter-qibli-moon love triangle, but GOD it’s so bad. like— in book six, moon is fascinated by both the boys. winter treats her like shit, but she can hear that in his thoughts he actually thinks she’s incredible. qibli is nice to her, but he’s like, super sus for some reason. moon actually TELLS DS that she doesn’t like either of them, but she Must pick one because her futures say so? like UM??? (she’s aromantic but denying herself or something) meanwhile in the winter pov book he’s absolutely tortured by guilt and his abusive family, so eventually he breaks off to find moon because he feels bad for treating her bad cuz he’s in love with her. also they have some Moments together. then in qiblis book, he’s also in love with moon, but spends the entire book bonding and flirting with his roommate winter! who is no longer an asshole now that he’s broken off from his family. moon is busy hanging out with some 2000 year old guy who attempted literal genocide, but it’s okay because he’s sad. anyway after like 200 pages of flirting, winter and qibli meet up with moon again and they’re happy because they’re both in love with her or something. except winter is upset because moon is defending the guy who tried to genocide his race and is going to do it again. moon and qibli decide this makes winter the biggest asshole in the entire world, abandon him, and then defeat DS together without him. then moon decides she “chooses” qibli and moonbli becomes canon and they leave winter in some random ass town. like? WHAT THE FUCK??? and we’re supposed to enjoy the moonbli ship :|

like no fuck off and PLEASE give us aromantic moon and mlm qinter please. THERE ARE NO CANON MLM RELATIONSHIPS. and im not just saying this cuz im a gay guy, like qinter legitimately had so much good development throughout arc two and then they get dropped like a hot potato

and then finally we have… whats left, turtlejou? i could take it or leave it ig. too much weird magic stuff there. i would actually maybe prefer turtle and peril just because they’re Actually Friends and their dynamic in book 8 was cool and way less creepy then cleril.

sundew and willow? they're cute but ive seen the mean lesbian and nice lesbian trope many times and they just didn’t pull it off too well. still better then 90% of the ships here though.

SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG I HAD A LOT MORE TO SAY THEN I REALIZED…. IF THIS SOUNDS AGGRESSIVE ITS AIMED AT THE AUTHOR NOT AT YOU ANON

[vios-rockland-corner]

Life in Rockland 1

[Author’s note:  “Life in Rockland” is a creative writing project utilizing a specific OC in place of the MC for the “Rumors of Rockland” series.  I do not own any part of the Rockland universe, only my OC.  Fair warning, creative writing is not my forte.  This is a means of practice and a fun way to enjoy the content further].

Sasha Holmes is new to Rockland and just had quite an interesting day.

 Setting: After game events

Play: Rumors of Rockland- Article 1

[Spoilers below for RoR Article 1]

Sasha’s Choices:

[“Like the guy from Resident Evil?”]

[“Ah ha, what exactly do you have to do to look like you’re from around here?”]

[“Are you serious?”]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I can’t believe you’re still not unpacked yet.  Hasn’t it been almost a week since you moved?”

The voice came from Sasha’s laptop.  She was busy multi-tasking while video-chatting with her best friend Pierce.  Well she could see his face IF she turned over from rummaging through boxes and laying out things on the floor.  Some might consider this rude, but Pierce just found it a little hilarious.

“Look it’s a lot of stuff okay?  Besides, I was busy this week going back and forth with work preparations and trying to get the layout of the place,” Sasha said with a huff, looking over her shoulder at the computer.

“Sounds like too much work. You should’ve just stayed home. What’s wrong with waiting a few more years before moving out?”

“Nothing.  Nothing’s wrong with it.  I just...”

“Wanted to break your best friend’s heart?” Pierce gives a very exaggerated pout.  Sasha turns around and smiles coyly.  She crawls over to the computer and lays in front of it, resting her chin on folded arms.

“No.  Even though you kind of deserve it sometimes.”

“I COULD always go easy on you in pool you now?  I don’t mind toning it down.  You’re not gonna beat me otherwise.”

“First off, I don’t want a pity play from you.  Second, you know damn well how close I got last game.”

“Yeah, only to hit the eight-ball into the complete opposite pocket you called. Gotta say, it was almost impressive how you hilariously made a masterful bounce into the wrong fucking pocket,” he grins, holding back his laughter.

“Well I mean that counts as skill doesn’t it?”

“Yeah like scoring a basketball shot for the other team.”

“Whatever, jerk.”

“But back on topic…”

“Okay yeah, look.  I love my hometown, my parents, and even your obnoxious butt.  But I just…didn’t want to get rooted.  I didn’t want to be living with my parents the whole time.  I didn’t want to know ONLY my home.”

“You worry too much.  The rest of the world’s not going to get up and leave if you take too long to hit the road Sasha.”

“I know that, but I wanted…a challenge.”

“A challenge?  You?  I thought you liked everything neat and controlled.  You want to throw things out of wack now?”

“Nothing elaborate.  Just a life challenge.  Take care of my own expenses and start from the ground up.  Meet people on my own and establish a career.”

“I feel like you’re letting your childhood slip away here.”

“Pierce, we’re not kids.”

“YOU sure as hell aren’t.  You always took freakin part-time jobs during college, and full-time jobs in the summer. I had to DRAG you out to the pub and parties for your own sanity.”

“Well moving and covering the cost of living is EXPENSIVE, Pierce.”

“Jesus, how much did you have saved up?”

“Enough so that I could get a place living by myself,” Sasha smiled proudly.

“Not that I don’t think that’s an impressive achievement girl, but I think I would have felt a little better if you had a roommate.  You’re out there by yourself I mean.”

“Look I worked hard for this, so I want my privacy.  I also didn’t really feel comfortable with finding a roommate way out here.”

“You didn’t pick your roommate in college either though.”

“Yeah, but that was our local college Pierce.  I had friends and family right nearby, so if things got weird I had help.  I’m a few hours away from all that now.”

“A ‘few hours’ you say.  It’s like, you’ve gone too short a distance to even warrant a move, and yet just far enough to making it a hassle with visits.”

“I disagree.  I think it’s the perfect distance.  I wanted to be able to visit home, but I didn’t want the temptation to go running home every chance I could get.  Not impossible to go home though.  The point here Pierce is for me to be ‘independent,’” she huffed.

“Whatever.” Pierce rolled his eyes.

“Say what you will, the deed is done.”

“So uh…Rockland.  Why?”

Sasha shrugged.  “No particular reason.  Just seemed like the best choice.  I looked at job advertisements for surrounding areas by distance, looked at their reviews and job pay and what kind of areas they were located at.  The job in Rockland was just better pay from my current job, and the place is small but still attracts tourists.  Means I don’t have to worry about being overwhelmed, but at the same time it SHOULD have just enough amenities and attractions to keep me entertained.”

“Oh?  Entertain yourself huh?  Last I checked that was my job.  Isn’t your idea of fun sitting at a café and going through files?” He smirked.

“Very funny.  Did you forget all the movies we’d watch together too?  I don’t need a buddy for that, and I’ll find other hobbies here. Maybe I’ll start running again.”

“Well good.  Not like you’re gonna get any excitement from your current job.  I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to push yourself to do something a little more interesting.”

“Thaaat’s what the hobbies are for Pierce.  The job is just for stability.”

“Could have added a little more drama to your life if you’d just decided to follow your namesake.”

“Pierce, literally no one in my family has ever been a detective.  DESPITE our last name.  It’s just a random name picked by a random author for a character that became randomly popular.  It is not a go ahead to pursue a career in criminal justice.”

“Seriously, why has NO ONE in your family ever tried to be a detective?”

“Because it requires you to see a lot of messed up shit?  I think I’ll pass.  I mean…if it makes you feel better, I had a great uncle who was a PI.”

“Really?? What was that like!?” Pierce looked a little excited.

“Honestly?  From the stories I heard, he just got a lot of crazies paying him.  People paranoid about being stalked or just using him as a way to harass others.  Wasn’t exactly fun work.”

“Bummer,” he said in a dejected tone.  “Well, I guess if you’re in a place like Rockland, probably wouldn’t get much action anyway.”

“What makes you say that?  Haven’t you been here before?”

“Just SOUNDS plain to me.  LITERALLY makes me think of rocks.  Yeah I’ve been there.  But that was like, when I was a kid?  Just visiting.  Was never for long.  Uncle was there.”

“Right.  Younger you was probably also too busy running around and sticking his hands in the dirt to actually pay attention to what was around you.”

“Yeeeeep that sounds like me,” he smirked.

“Well, I don’t know if the place has changed since you were little or you literally just have zero awareness of what’s around you, but I wouldn’t EXACTLY call this place boring.  Not after today.”

“Oh?” Pierce leaned in, curious.  “I’m so sorry, what WAS your day like dear Sasha?”

“Well, I was…looking for a place for a regular hangout.  I found this one bar in the Town Central.  At least it felt a lot more welcoming than some of the clubs around here.  Most of the people in general seem friendly here…but they can tell I’m new.  Like…ALL of them can tell.  It’s a little nerve-racking.”

“Look if you didn’t want to want to stick out like a sore thumb, you should have moved to a city.  I told you that.  Much easier to blend in there.”

Sasha shook her head.  “No, I didn’t want to get overwhelmed like that.  The best city choices were too big.  Then I’d really feel lonely.  It’s not bad here, I just…have to be sure I make a good first impression is all.  I don’t…think they hate new people?”

“You JUST said they were friendly, didn’t you?”

“Yeah but…see the bartender…” Sasha shook her head again, “No, no you know what?  I think I was just getting jittery since it’s a new place.  Forget it.”

Pierce tilts his head. “What about the bartender?”

“He…OH!  His name,” she quickly recovered and laughed.  “His name is Whesker!”

“Like Resident Evil Whesker?” Pierce chuckled.

“EXACTLY LIKE RESIDENT EVIL WHESKER!  Dude even knew what that was!”

“SHIT FOR REAL?!  That’s actually pretty sick.  Points for the bartender.  What’d you order from him?”

“Nothing, actually.  Him and the other bartender had to do something out back.  Didn’t actually get to drink anything the whole time I was there.”

“Boo.  Points deducted.”

Sasha chuckled, “Well I mean they were busy.  I wasn’t really mad.  Kind of got distracted with this one guy having…a mental breakdown?”

“Woah.  Like, what do you mean?”

“I mean he was…really off kilter.  Not gonna lie, dude was kind of terrifying.  He kept cussing up a storm and saying he was gonna slit someone’s throat. He did SOMETHING awful.  Could not figure out for the life me what EXACTLY he did. He had a friend with him and I was certain this dude was going to punch him in the face or toss him across the room. He didn’t though.  He just…kinda…slumped down into a weeping mess. It was weird.  He said something about drinking.  I think the dude was an alcoholic.  It was kind of scary to watch.  At first I was kind of quivering from the raw temper he had.  Then…I felt a little empty.”  Sasha went a little quiet.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Pierce said in a reassuring tone.  “Dude was probably just drunk.  Lots of people probably get a little emotional when they’re drunk.  Met a ton of guys who say a lot of shit they don’t really mean when they’re wasted.  Did he go near you?”  Pierce looked a little concerned.

“Oh no, no I didn’t get caught up in any of that.  His friend I guess took him to some place to cool off.  The alcoholic kept saying something about disappointing someone for…whatever he did.”

“That’s good.  If you were to guess what he did though, what would you say?”

Sasha shrugged.  “Maybe he got in a fight?  Broke someone’s nose?  Or maybe he’s got a gambling problem?”

“Yeah.  Could be those.  He could also literally have just spent all his paycheck on booze, and now he’s gotta figure out what to do for rent.  I’ve seen that a few times.  Whatever the case, just…keep your distance Sasha.  Dude was probably just being overly emotional, but I suggest you stay away from wildcards like that you know?”

“Oh yeah don’t worry.  I don’t do so great anyway with very…loud people.”

Pierce laughed. “Yeah I know.  Just saying that if it’s a small place, you MIGHT spot him again.”

“I’ll be careful.  Should be easy to tell if he’s been drinking again anyway.”

“Sounds like his friend can keep him under control.  Don’t worry, I’m sure the next person you come across won’t be as scary Sasha.”

“Well…by all accounts…I suppose you’re not wrong, even though I feel like you should be,” Sasha laughed nervously.

Pierce cocked an eyebrow.  “The heck is that supposed to mean?”

“I..ummm…I never thought I would say this in my entire life…”

“And that would be?”

“….I met a drug dealer.”

Pierce blinked. “YOU.  Met a DRUG DEALER?  You are shitting me right now.”

“No, no this is a thing that happened.  Right after the alcoholic left.”

“What, you parked close to the back alley and he came out to hassle you?”

“No this was in the bar.”

“Oh, oh so you’re telling me that a drug dealer just walked right the fuck up to you and said ‘Hey wanna buy some drugs?’” Pierce was grinning and trying to hold back his laughter.

“…Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“YES!  I’m not joking! This happened!  And the dude collects snow globes and friendship bracelets too!” Sasha blurted out, exasperated.

Pierce burst out laughing, “NO FUCKING WAY!  No, I’m not believing that shit for a second.  Sasha you must have misinterpreted something there or this dude was just fucking with you.”

“THERE’S NO WAY TO MISINTERPRET THE LINE WORD-FOR-WORD, ‘You want to buy drugs, kid?’”

“Sasha no drug dealer is going to deal that stuff in public.  Cops eat at those places too.”

“Yeah, about that…apparently the cops here are either inept or can be ‘persuaded.’  I don’t know. Tyler’s plan was apparently to give them a blow if he got caught.”

“Okay one, who’s Tyler?  And two, which blow you talking about?”

“Tyler is the drug dealer and…both?”

Pierce stares for a full 10 seconds, stunned.  He then burst out laughing again, falling over on his side this time.

“OH MY GOD!  OH MY FUCKING GOD! Sweet innocent Sasha left home for no less than a week and you’re already hooked up with the world’s nicest drug dealer.  Oh man.  Sasha I take back what I said about Rockland.  Sounds like a riot.”  He had a large Cheshire grin on his face, but was holding his sides from laughing so hard.

Sasha rolled her eyes and said in a deadpan tone, “Well I’m glad through this long conversation, the thing that finally seems to get you to approve of my move is my association with a drug dealer.  Of all things.  Your reaction also makes me understand Dylan’s pain even more now.”

Pierce sighed, “Oh man, that just, that just made my day.  Thank you….wait who the hell is Dylan?”

“You’re welcome, and Dylan is Tyler’s friend.  He was mostly horrified about how open Tyler was.  Probably one of the more sane people in the bar that night. He dragged Tyler away at the end.”

“Aww, so you didn’t get any drugs?”

“No?  No number, no drugs.”

“Why would you NOT get drugs?!”

“What th-YOU KNOW ME!  That’s not me.  Plus my parents would have a heart attack if I tried anything.”

“But Sasha!  It’s not enough to just not buy a product from a vendor whose actions you don’t approve of.  You gotta purchase from their competition whose conduct you prefer!”

“…Okay I get what you’re saying.  Like if I want to support humanely raised animals, buy the food in the store that’s only from farms with humane raising tactics.  But, Pierce…you’re talking about DRUG DEALERS here. That’s ALL illegal.”

“Same difference.  I’d rather pay the friendly snow globe collecting drug dealer in the bar than the creepy freak in the dark alley.  It’s how you make the world a better place Sasha!  Illegal or not, not like they’re going away.”

“You are…just…I think I understand Dylan’s feelings even more now.”

“Let me come visit sometime.  You can take me to see Tyler.”

“Oh hell no!  If I have any say in this, I’m gonna try my hardest that you two never meet.  I will NEVER hear the end of it otherwise.”

“Boo.  Fine, be that way.  …Hey can I tell your parents about Tyler?”

“NO.  You’ll make THEM start to question my choice in coming here.”

“Okay okay.” Pierce settled down.  “So in summary, you walked into a bar where the bartenders dipped out, an alcoholic was in hysterics and the drug dealer was trying to get you in his books….Eh, you know when I say it out loud it doesn’t sound like the craziest bar ever. May even be pretty normal compared to some standards,” he grinned.

Sasha chuckled, “Yeah, I think I’ll pay the place another visit sometime. It was…interesting.”

“You could use a little spice in your mundane life girl.  Sounds like this place could be a gem.  Let me know who else pops up there next time, kay?” he winked.

“I will.  Have a good night Pierce.”

“Say hi to Tyler for me!”

“GOOD NIGHT Pierce.”

Sasha clicked “End Call.”

Sasha sighed.  She felt emotionally exhausted.

Her eyebrows furrowed.  “Did I forget something?  I think that was all the news.  There was something though…” Sasha thought to herself.  Something was nagging at her.

“The…bartender?  What am I…oh no I mentioned his name!  Pretty sure that was it,” she chuckled.

Sasha looked at the boxes and just shook her head.  She’ll finish it later.  Right now, bed sounded like the best idea after all that excitement.

[froggycatvest]

Title: There’s a cafeteria? Words: 1900 Ships: None Warnings: None Characters: Benrey, Gordon, Tommy, Dr. Coomer, Bubby Part 4 of 5 Part one HERE

Benrey’s POV. The group find a cafeteria, try to get some food cooking, but maybe the fire alarm goes off. (It is not because of Bubby). 

---

There was suddenly the smell of fire, and Gordon was drawn to it immediately, eyes wide as he all but ran out of the pantry. He started yelling out, “Bubby! Why are you turning on all the stovetops?”

Benry followed to see that was exactly what was happening, along with Tommy and Dr. Coomer at another stove opening up the cans and setting things up there. Bubby shrugged. 

“I’m bored. Mind your own business.”

Gordon stepped up to him, hand extended to point at the flames. “It is my business if you burn this place down.”

Bubby glanced between the stove and the other man, eyebrow raised. “How is that your business?”

“I don’t want to die,” Gordon said, as if it were obvious. “I don’t want to burn to death.”

Bubby stood there while Gordon began turning the burners off. “You’re more likely to die from smoke inhalation.”

Gordon shook his head slowly. “Don’t want that either.”

Tommy piped up. “We have--You don’t have to worry. Black Mesa is fitted with The Most Advanced Fire Protection System available.”

“You heard him,” Bubby said. “A system to protect fires.”

Dr. Coomer seemingly agreed. “Only the best in fire fighting technology here in Black Mesa. Along with our patented laser security system, automated door locks, and bulletproof windows. Safety is our number one priority.” 

“All of which did nothing to help us.” Gordon looked around the ceiling. “Is it a sprinkler system? It’d probably shoot bullets at us instead.”  

There was a lot of talk then, everyone spouting the first thing that came to mind with stuff like It’ll shoot Water at us. Not bullets and Well, we’d better shoot it first! and There’s no sprinkler system in Black Mesa and That’s for a lawn.

Gordon nodded in agreement, unable to address them all, so he just kept talking. “Look, I don’t have any confidence in anything here saving us. Just use one burner, alright? I’m going to see what else is around here.”

When he went for the cabinets, Benry snapped to attention and pushed past him. “I got it.” He never got to check this area from before when he was searching for food with Tommy, and didn’t want Gordon to find something good first.

“Oh, what?” Benry stopped and stared over his shoulder at the amused grin on Gordon’s face. “Am I not allowed to have food?”

Benry glanced down in thought. It had been funny riling Gordon Freeman up this entire time. It had been fun watching him trip over his words before turning away in exasperation to ignore him. Sometimes, Benry didn’t understand why the man would get all worked up when they were just talking. It wasn’t like he was always insulting him, after all.   

Gordon leaned forward, hand and gunhand on his hips, and head tilting. “You think I’m going to steal it all or something?”

He also didn’t understand why, but every so often, the man tried to joke with him, would say nice things to him, even laughed at the things he would say. Gordon Freeman was weird.

“Yeah maybe.”

Gordon parroted him with a lighthearted, “Yeah, maybe.” When he came up behind Benry to get a look in an open cupboard, Benry quickly stepped to the side.

Gordon didn’t seem to notice, still cheerful. “Hey, grab me some cereal.”

Dr. Coomer called out from a stove where he was heating up the huge pot of soup. “Make sure you’re getting a balanced meal, Gordon. It’s good for brain power.”

“You’re telling me this?” Gordon whirled on him, asking teasingly. “The soda chugger? The sewage slurper? The toxic waste ingestor?”

“You should try it,” Benry said, box of cereal held in both hands.

Gordon noticed it, and dug around for a bowl. “Try what?”

“The sewage.”

“No thanks.” Gordon placed two bowls on the counter, sliding one towards Benry.  “We’ve been in enough sewage to last me the rest of my life.”

“It’s a...it’s a balanced meal.”

Gordon finally gave him a good reaction, his entire attention on him now with amused disbelief. “How is it a balanced meal? How?”

Benry shrugged. “It has all the vitamins and minerals a body needs.”

“Maybe for you.”

There were suddenly three cartons of milk shoved into both of their faces, Gordon sputtering and leaning back at the intrusion. “Guys, guys.”

Bubby placed one on top of Benry’s helmet. “That’s a balanced meal.”

Dr. Coomer showcased his off. “Did you know milk contains almost every single nutrient your body requires to live?”

Tommy held his milk carton out in one hand. “Calcium and Vitamin D is important for strong bones. You can grow them back if you need them to.”

Benry joined in, his voice louder and almost robot-like as he emphasized every word. “Gordon Needs More Vitamin D.”

It was too much for Gordon Freeman, laughter filling the kitchen. “I can’t,” he wheezed, leaning against the counter. “I can’t deal with all of you at once.”

“Milk,” Dr. Coomer replied.

“The soup,” Gordon forced out between breaths. “All of you go back to watching the thing that has fire under it.”

Benry was content to just stand there while everyone else left, and he noticed Gordon looking him over while composing himself. “What?”

“You look...great,” Gordon said with a grin. “Like a cereal fairy.” He straightened up and grabbed the milk carton off his helmet. Benry had forgotten that was there. After it was placed on the counter, the cereal box was taken from him as well, and Gordon tried--but failed--to get the bag open.

“Tommy,” Gordon immediately called as he joined the other three. “Can you help me with this?”

Benry yelled after him with grand advice. “Just shoot it.” It would open it. It would work. But no one listened to him. He eyed the milk carton, then took out his gun.

It wasn’t like with the birds and other creatures; when he took the shot, a mess splattered everywhere.

It was quiet for a moment, everyone’s attention on him before Gordon asked, “Why?” while Dr. Coomer gave out praises of, “Nice shot, Benrey.”

Benry realized he was splattered down the front, but it wasn’t different than the blood and goop he was used to already. He put his gun away while Gordon approached him, staring and snickering. 

“What did you think was going to happen?” Gordon said, biting his lip. “You’re a mess.”

“It’s open,” Benry stated simply.

“It’s destroyed,” Gordon corrected, looking pleased. “That was hilarious and it’s your fault.”

That’s what he got for trying to help. “It was your milk.” Which meant it was Gordon’s fault. He was the one that had wanted cereal. But Gordon didn’t get it, because he gestured towards Benry.

“It’s yours now.”

Dr. Coomer interjected with a brilliant idea. “If we start the sprinkler system, it’ll clean him off in no time.”

Which meant Gordon wouldn’t agree. “We aren’t doing that. He can use the sink.”

Benry shot at the ceiling.

“Stop that!” Gordon ordered, glancing up warily at where he was shooting. “I don’t want any kind of system, of any kind, to be activated down here. Nothing good comes from that.”

Benry’s gun disappeared. “I’m the security system.”

Gordon paused, as if really thinking about it. “Huh. I guess you are.” 

Benry was sure he didn’t have to sound so surprised. He was right and telling the truth whenever he wasn’t lying. Gordon gave him a thoughtful look as he continued on. 

“Ever think about doing another job? You’re not very good at this one.”

Dr. Coomer, at that moment, yelled out in victory. “Here it is!”

Even Benry’s attention shot over to where the man was near the doorway as he stood in a fighting stance next to a fire alarm station on the wall. He punched off the plastic cover, before pulling down on the handle.

Gordon was amazingly fast to react, eyes wide. “Dr. Coomer!”

A loud bell sound clanged around the room, lights from the alarm flashing brightly, but there was no spray of water anywhere.

Tommy cried out in all earnest, “Oh no, we have to get out of here!”

Gordon walked swiftly up to him to calm him. “Tommy, it’s a false alarm.”

“No, that’s illegal,” he said, strafing back and forth in distress. “You can’t do that intentionally.”

“You’ve tripped alarms multiple times, dude.”

Tommy stopped and stared at him, before looking here and there, quietly. He didn’t respond.

Bubby spoke up, sounding offended that no one had listened to him. “I told you there’s no sprinkler system.”

Gordon raised an eyebrow at that. “I think that’s illegal,” he said, and Bubby shrugged, uncaring.

“We’re not exactly abiding by most laws here in Black Mesa.”

Benry began to use his Voice to mimic the noise of the alarm out of boredom, and Gordon gave him an irritated look. 

“It’s loud enough, thanks!”

“You don’t have to yell,” Benry scolded flatly, but Bubby started yelling, too.  

“Turn it off already!”

Dr. Coomer examined the alarm, before straightening up to address everyone. “It seems I can’t. Fire alarms are not meant to be reset without the use of a key from authorized personnel or the fire department.”

Bubby whipped out his gun. “Not while I’m around.”

“Wait,” Tommy called out. “Benrey. You have the key.”

Benry turned towards him. “Huh?”

Gordon looked a little astonished. “You have a key for the alarm?”

“Yeah I’m the...I told you I’m the security system.”

He had responsibilities. He had lots of work. He had access to secure places. It was his job. Gordon Freeman seemed to forget that most of the time. It was kinda disrespectful. 

“Do you have to be so disrespectful?”

Gordon blinked at that, then frowned. “I’m not being disrespectful,” he huffed out and gestured towards the blaring alarm. “Can you turn it off?

Benry stared at it, before staring at Gordon. “Why?”

Bubby’s voice got louder in exasperation. “Oh my god. If you don’t hurry up, I’m going to shoot this damn thing!”

It was one thing to mess with Gordon, but he didn’t care to mess with Dr. Bubby. The older man was fun and easy to listen to. Even though, sure, Bubby punched at him a few times once, but that was okay, they were friendly punches. The kind you did when you messed around with your bros. He barely felt them.

Benry took out a ring of keys, selected the correct one, and went to deactivate the alarm. When everything went quiet, there were sighs of relief.

He approached Bubby closely. “You can still shoot it if you want.”

Bubby eyed his gun and then grinned. “I should.”

Gordon groaned out, “Please don’t.”

“Yo don’t ruin his fun.”

“You know what’s fun? Not letting the food burn. Who was in charge of that? Bubby, you’re in charge of that now.” Gordon shrugged and ran his fingers through his hair. “Don’t know if that’s a good idea or a bad idea, but it’ll give you something to do.”

Dr. Coomer pumped a fist. “Excellent idea. Bubby is a wonderful leader.” He pulled Bubby along among his protest of That’s not fun. “You can burn it a little, then. How about that?”

Tommy bounded after them, and when Benry went to follow, Gordon stepped in front of him with a firm, “Not you.”

[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 16

*~*Sebastian*~*

I really should be given a lot of credit for how long I stayed away from Emma.

Day one I couldn't stop holding her hand. Day two I had to touch her. Day three all I want to do is hold her. Well, not all I want.

Since I woke up with her in my arms there's a part of my brain constantly on the look out for how to get her back there. I have to admit I’m not super confident because my brain has failed me numerous times in trying to figure out kissing her. Had it helped me out with the kissing I wouldn't be so fucking desperate to hold her. Probably wouldn't be talking so much to myself either, but that isn't really unusual. Maybe just different topics.

My mom is having fun with this. I'm not always translating everything she says. She told me Emma was beautiful and she understood why I hadn't come home. She told me I had to work for at least an hour before I could see her. Then she sent her to the opposite side of the house from me and stood guard across the hall.

When I was "allowed" to see Emma again I scared the shit out of her. It was fucking hilarious. When I grabbed her into my arms I held her head against my chest so maybe she wouldn't know I couldn't stop laughing. I couldn’t stop laughing until she ran her hands down my back. It was the same barely there sensual touch that went from my shoulder diagonally down and around to the side of my stomach. I closed my eyes to enjoy it and imagined it didn't stop there. So when she led me into the guest room, a room with a bed, it took every ounce of self-control in my body not to throw her on the bed and cover her with me.

The picture snapped me out of those thoughts. It had been years since I’d seen it. It was full of happy memories of a good time in an otherwise gray period. I wasn't old enough and I think mom shielded me from much. She tried to make whatever food we got something fun for us to build meals around. It wasn’t that we didn’t have food. We didn’t have a lot and we didn’t have choices. We played a form of bingo with what we'd get. Meat, dairy, and fruit were coveted. Except that one weird cheese that we got every six weeks or so. Nothing made it not horrible.

I can't remember telling any other girlfriend about how the beach in a communist country taught me freedom and curiosity that culminated in me being in a NASA movie. Coolest thing ever. Now I’m in the guest room telling secrets I barely remember. Frightening secrets for a kid. There's really no way to escape that without carry some things with you. I don't talk much about Romania because I don’t remember much, but what I do remember I don’t really want to talk about. I wonder if my mom planted the picture for me to share a happy memory.

I dropped Emma off at the kitchen and went back to the family room. Anthony and I headed out to the garage to find a couple of things he knew were missing from the room. Back inside we started arranging things. The kitchen wasn't far away. Every so often I'd catch words or a sentence. They were talking about winters and snow removal. I listened closer when mom asked where and how long she'd lived here. Nothing I didn't know. As Emma explained where her place was, she told mom about local shops and answered questions about the area. Very sweet.

Meanwhile in the family room we got things arranged based on where the TV hung on the wall and came to the realization it was all wrong. I yelled for mom. Emma followed her into the room. Mom looked around, "This is all wrong."

A ridiculous amount of time later we'd rearranged everything. The only thing left was for me to move the TV and rewire everything. I'd be an expert by the time we were done. Mom suggested a break and went to get beers.

I flopped onto the couch and when it looked like Emma was going to sit too far away, I grabbed her hand to pull her closer. Damn near landed her in my lap. Wouldn't have been a bad thing. I recreated the scene from the bench last night with my arm around her shoulder and her holding my hand. That left each of us with a free hand for beer. Emma turned a little where she was leaned against me and laid her head back on my shoulder. I buried my nose in her hair, breathing her in until mom brought back beer.

I doubt this was what Emma had in mind when I suggested she come with me. Mom and Anthony were talking so I gave Emma's shoulders a squeeze to get her attention. "Not much of a rest day for you. I'm feeling selfish. I wanted to spend more time with you.” I was coming clean. I wasn't going to apologize because that would be a lie.

She smiled, a sweet almost shy smile, that made my stomach flutter. "I wanted to spend more time with you too." Her smile tuned to a smirk, "So don't suggest taking me home unless you're ready for me to leave. I'm enjoying myself."

"No problem."

Mom's voice broke the moment, "Emma, have you had Romanian food? We were thinking dinner and a movie. If my son gets the TV hooked up."

"You've just given me motivation, mom."

I felt Emma laugh more than heard her. "No, I haven't and sounds great. Thank you."

Anthony stood up, "Let's get back at it."

Mom excused Emma from the kitchen after Anthony and I got the TV sorted. He went to his office. Mom stayed in the kitchen and I got an assistant for hanging shit and putting up books. There were an obscene number of books. Thankfully they were sorted into boxes in a way that made alphabetizing them by author not so much a pain in the ass. The ease with which Emma alphabetized the titles within each author was super hero like. My job was to hand them to her. By the respectful way she handled them I knew she loved books. She took a stack from me, "Do you like to read?"

I nodded, "I've read most of these. I’ve always liked to read. I do a lot of reading to research characters.”

"Like what?"

I went with the most obvious. "For the Winter Soldier and Bucky I read a lot about psychopaths and PTSD. They’re really two different characters, maybe four.. True crime procedural stuff for Destroyer. Way more space shit than I needed for the Martian. Loved the book."

"Do you prefer non-fiction to fiction?"

"Pretty equal. I'm usually reading a couple of books at a time. I switch back and forth. I love Harlan Coben from before they were making his books movies. Have you read anything of his?"

Her eyes shifted up as she thought. "The one that was a French film. His wife dies then like ten years later he gets a message."

At the same time we said, "Tell No One."

I continued, "Loved that one. He writes lots of those thriller mysteries and has a series about a detective. Lots of humor and his best friend is a millionaire sociopath. Those are fun. Always reread classics and my favorite novel is changing all the time. A lot of mindfulness, Buddhism."

Her eyes lit up, "Have you read Illusions by Richard Bach?"

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"It was written in the seventies. We passed it around in college. Once you read it you had to buy a copy, highlight some of your favorite bits and give it away. Basically, a Messiah is training his replacement. He gives him a handbook only the pages are empty, except when he opens it, he finds answers."

"I think you can do that with anything. Even a newspaper." This was turning into another one of those great conversations like music and movies. I knew it would.

She was nodding quickly, "Me too. It is full of short insights. My favorite is "You're never given a wish without the power to make it come true. You might have to work on it, however." It's a faux Christian eastern religion self-help novel."

I laughed, "That's great."

"Yeah, we'd get high at frat parties and talk in Illusion and movie quotes." She snorted laugh.

"Did you break into the pantry for snacks like we did?"

"Of course. Always cheese."

I was amused by the thought of Emma as a grunge loving stoned psuedo intellectual. Made me remember my days as an 80's music loving stoned theater major space nerd. College was fun.

Back to books. "What's your guilty pleasure reading?"

"This is my Jessie's Girl." We shared a smile. "I love paranormal romance."

"Paranormal romance? "I repeated." Ghosts and shit?"

"Oh no. Vampires, dragons, shapeshifters."

I couldn't hide my smile, "Way worse than Jessie's Girl."

She glared at me, "It's close."

Her glare turned to a smile then a laugh and I had to hug her. I wanted to hold on to the moment, take in how much fun this was. The conversation, the teasing. She felt like an old friend I'd just met. Only with a lot more sexual attraction. The kind that had me noticing how every curve of her body was pressed against me. Had me wanting to run my hands on top of her clothes before moving underneath them. Wishing she'd slide her hand under my shirt so I could feel her touch my skin.

I took a step back, "Hit me with the details."

She laughed again, "There's two series I love. Some variation of a testosterone filled alpha male who thinks he's rescuing a woman who ends up being his soulmate and saves him. One is grounded is Greek mythology and finding his mate can literally free his soul and the other creates its own mythology. One or both always have a heartbreaking past, there's something they have to go through, and then the happy ending. They're well written and incredibly satisfying."

"Do you believe in that?"

She drew her eyebrows together, "Happily ever after?"

I shook my head, "Soulmates."

Emma looked at the ceiling, screwed up her face, then looked back at me. "The chickenshit answer is people come into our lives for a reason and go away when they’ve served their purpose."

I wasn't so sure. "Not necessarily chickenshit."

"I meant the safe answer.” She bit her lip and continued, “I do believe in soulmates. But I don't think there's necessarily one person for anyone. A soulmate a twenty might be different than a soulmate at forty. People change and grow, so it makes sense your perfect partner might not stay perfect. You can grow together or grow in different directions.  I'm a hopeful romantic."

I liked that. "I think some people use the concept of soulmate to not work for it. It takes a lot of work and vulnerability to be with another person. Hell, to be with yourself. It's hard to be honest with yourself sometimes, forget about laying yourself bare to another person." I shook my head, not believing the strange direction this had gone. "I'm not always that brave."

We'd gone from laughter to this intensely intimate place. I'm talking about how difficult it can be to be vulnerable, which is a very vulnerable thing to do. Maintaining eye contact was hard.

"Everyone struggles with being brave.”

The matter of fact way she spoke reminded me of the gym when we were talking about insecurities. This was the second time I’d shared something and she didn’t try to convince me I was wrong. She accepted what I’d said as true for me. She’d accepted me. Well, now, there’s a thing. I smiled. “I think it’s about finding someone you’re ok being afraid with and is brave enough to be afraid too."

Slowly she started to smile, “Awfully deep conversation we’re having.”

“No shit! How the fuck did we get here?”  I shook my head and laughed. “I think we were talking about Jessie’s Girl.”

“Yeah, that’s it.” She joined in laughing before learning forward to lay her forehead on my shoulder.

I put my hand on the back of her neck and leaned my head against hers.

[jimlingss]

pt.2 of yesterday

I don’t want to flood people’s dashes, so hopefully answering your messages here will suffice!

anonymous asked: Hi! I wanted to tell you how much I love your work and how you make me enjoy every Monday thanks to your regular updates ! I saw a previous anon telling you how your writings lacks of emotion and I totally disagree with them... obviously everybody won’t like it but your stories just DON’T lack of love or emotion this is madness I want to thank you for publishing your amazing stories freely here for everyone to read. (Sorry if my English is weird I’m french ejfjekfjd)

“this is madness” LOL

You’re hilarious, anon. And your english is perfectly fine!!!

anonymous asked: Hello! Im the culinary student anon who sent you an ask a while ago and i saw you received an ask about the lack of emotion from your stories. I read kitchen romance and i actually really really like it and don’t quite understand how it lacks in emotions as I interpreted the stories more like the beginning of the oc and jin’s love story and they are only starting to open up to each other so i guess thats why anon might feel like it lacks romantic vibe from both of the characters. (1)

Anonymous said: Just want to tell you that you’re one of the best writer and ive been following you for 2/3 years now, you never failed to amaze me with your writings!! All your stories are so well written that i sometimes wonder how do you come up with such an amazing plot every single time and your stories are always nice to re-read and the effort you pour into creating your stories is also admirable (2)

while i was reading kitchen romance and ive only started s&c (currently on chapter 4) i can say that its pretty similar with how it is irl (and the part where we find out jk is an iu fans reminded me of my ex-crush whose also a culinary student, i would like to tell you a story about it but ill just waste your time lol) , just want to send you a few encouragement and love for you and your writings *sending virtual hugs* (3) -👩🏻‍🍳anon

You’re too kind, thank you (and also, welcome back!). I’ll be frank, there was a hot second I was considering taking down Kitchen Romance but I didn’t cause I don’t want my efforts of editing it to go to waste asdfghjkl. I can’t believe you’ve been sticking around me for so long :’) it’s always nice to know some folks stay. Anyway, I’m glad that Sugar and Coffee is pretty similar to how it works irl since I tried my best to do research. I definitely love a good storytime as well so don’t worry about wasting my time :>

Anonymous said: a good majority of your fics display an unfathomable amount of DEPTH. regarding character development. plot. even the shortest lines of dialogue reveal so much more to the character and unveil their true emotions. i personally think the more REALISTIC side of love may be perceived as 'bland.' ‘emotionless.’ whatever you want to call it. nothing’s wrong with portraying a relationship that isn’t overboard with a whole lot of tooth aching fluff or lowkey annoying pda. +1

Anonymous said: there’s nothing wrong with taking out a bit of emotion to fit the PERSONALITIES of the characters. some people out there don’t necessarily feel a lot of emotions. so it’s honestly not really a mistake if a story lacks it (unless it was unintentional). subtlety is an art that is hard to master, but you’ve done it! and to respond to the anon, sometimes, if you skim through a fic without reading every word the author intended for you to read, +2

Anonymous said: then it’s quite common to not feel the full extent of the emotions you were supposed to feel. just a thought but no hate. we’re all entitled to our opinions. but besides that, kina, you write on a vast scale ranging from hardcore angst to diabetes-inducing fluff. and you do it beautifully. sure there are some stories that are better than others, but i believe a LOT of it comes down to personal preference and taste. +3

Anonymous said: even if you are feeling creatively limited, you work hard to continue writing for your readers, and your determination and diligence wILL NOT GO UNNOTICED. i just want you to know that you write amazingly. your syntax is practically immaculate, your characters feel real… the endings of your stories always wrap something up and the strings are tied—even if it isn’t necessarily a happy ending. you can convey hundreds of different characters through WORDS. +4

Anonymous said: i’ll have you know that it’s hard to write. it’s even harder to write about people who aren’t YOU. so as someone who looks up to you a lot, i want to commend you for your writing. some of your fics that i read on a monthly basis: tears of a villain, a piece of the moonlight, head over heels to hell, ghost in the machine, a mark of betrayal, a kiss of poison, until yesterday, the truth between us and arcadia. +5

Anonymous said: to be fair, there were way more fics but i didn’t want to make this message any longer than it already is LOL. i find these pieces wonderful. heart wrenching. and SO DAMN EMOTIONAL IT PLAGUES MY MIND FOR DAYS. also you’re literally one of the few fucking people who can use the em dash correctly. thank you so much for sharing your talent with us! +6

Oh my goodness. I don’t even know what to say, anon. This is a whole damn thesis and it’s about my fics :’> You know, it’s easy to brush off fanfiction as a ‘whatever’ thing and indeed, it isn’t that big of a deal compared to some things in the world. But I really do take all my stories seriously and put forth a lot of effort - so to see it recognized and appreciated it makes me beyond happy. It’s good to know that my efforts haven’t gone to waste at all and that there are people out there who will support me no matter the endeavours I take. Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me.

((Also, honestly I picked up the em dash usage after I wrote The Truth Between Us with gukyi who used it. I’m pretty sure I’m not using it right but to hear that I am, god damn that’s a breath of relief right there))

backtobleuside submitted: Are you kidding me!? Your stories don’t lack love at all. They’re the kind of fics that you read, soak it all in and then come back for more. I’ve cried so much when I read Beyond reach, Boo-lieve in me, A piece of the moonlight, His name, Tell me lies etc. etc, and also laughed and felt the emotions of not just the OC, but also the other characters. Kitchen Romance was also so fluffy and sweet and personally, I don’t think that anything needs to be added to it. Anyway, your fics do not lack emotion—you’re probably the first author I send a message to because your stories impacted me a lot and left a strong impression on me. I even imagine your characters as real people who have real lives that continue on even after the story is done.

asdfghjkl thank you :’) I see you every week and sometimes several times at that. I really appreciate your consistent feedback and following. You never fail to send me a message too which I appreciate a lot. I’m glad you’re enjoying everything I’m producing!!

youngfleurever said: Would just like to say that your fics do in fact make me violently sob to the boy where my eyes are so swollen I have trouble opening them the next day and I wake up feeling like there’s sawdust in my mouth because I’m dehydrated.

oh my god. please keep yourself hydrated hahahahhaha more importantly, how do you know what sawdust in your mouth is like. WHAT have you been doing LOL

Anonymous said: I’ve felt emotions that I’ve never felt before when I read your fics.... so as a person that has read your entire masterlist, I DO NOT think that your fics lack emotion.... I hope you don’t feel disheartened because you’re one of my favourite writers, not just on tumblr but like, evER 💓💓💓💓💓💓

Please, even if I was disheartened, the overwhelming amount of feedback and praise has completely overridden it :’)

joonie-mono said: when tumblr deletes the first part of your ask 🙄😌✌️

LOOOOOOOL

haylo4ever said: Sorry had to add my 10 cents. You're such a talented writer,,, I WISH I could write a smol smol 1/1000000000 that you write,,, like I remember when I followed you bc I was in awe of your writing.... I mean?? Sure maybe not every fic hits it with someone but it's just ridic to name drop (a friend nonetheless) when you're all extremely talented writers.

Trust me, writing comes with practice!! I should honestly just tattoo that on me. God knows my first fanfic was absolutely GARBAGE. I didn’t know pacing, didn’t know that I should separate chunks of paragraphs, how to write dialogue or describe scenes properly. I went in blind. Even my second, third and fourth fanfic was garbage. You could definitely get to “my level” or even far surpass it with enough dedication and practice. I mean I’ve been writing for four years, so thank GOD there’s been improvement. I wouldn’t be natural if there wasn’t. But clearly the more you practice, the better you improve! That applies to anything.

The me in ten years will certainly be better now.

Anonymous said: Hi kina! I’m here in support of kitchen romance! I actually didn’t feel like it was missing a ton of fluffy moments (and I say that as a huGE LOVER OF FLUFF) but the story was just as entertaining in the whole chase of them getting closer to each other! It’s honestly one of my favorite one shots I’ve read lately and I’m not saying that lightly! Also, that anon that said your work lacks emotion has probably not read like half of your masterlist bc oO MAN QUEEN OF MAKING ME CRY- black heart anon🖤

Thank you :’]

Anonymous said: Ok I’m very offended wow the audacity!Specially coming for my baby kitchen romance like that story made me feel so much and it’s only one of the many fics you have written kina like I’m literally baffled like dynasty has made me cry scream happy and hot all at the same time and I was literally just thinking about it that whole weekend and this anon has the nerve to say your stories lack emotions?When you are literally the queen of show casing all types of emotions in your stories!You did it all

Anonymous said: Also 😭😭😭😂😂😩hoooooooow and whereeee did they see any lack of love and emotions like have you read jungle park???? Inside my mind??? FREAKING SUGAR AND COFFEE (like this fic is made with love and I- ) Actually you know what , just read the whole masterlist😩😩💗💗💗

LOL tbh I didn’t expect Dynasty to receive the love it has. I was actually kind of wary when posting it cause it’s kind of Wild. 

bangtans-peaceful-piegon said: just gotta say u handled that whole anon thing so well which not only makes me admire u as a writer but even more as a person :] (i mean i knew u were gr8 before the whole deal but yeah love ya 💛)

tbh, I’m not sure how well I handled it cause I was flooded with over 30 messages afterwards (evidently) ;_; which I love and appreciate but I’m not really as hurt as some people think hahaha criticism should be received well but it’s still hard not to take personally tbh. It’s gonna have to be something I work on or perhaps it’ll be one of those things that I’ll take better with age.

[thevioletjones]

1, 20 and 23 for the author ask meme

1. Where do you typically get your ideas?

My brain? Lollll... j/k. Usually I just get struck by something, and as soon as I think of it, I know I have to write it. Occasionally it’s inspired by some bullshit I see online, or prompts, but usually it’s just a thought that I can’t get rid of. 

20. What is your best piece of advice for writing smut scenes?

Be realistic! I realize that fantasy is part of the appeal of erotica, and obviously many things get exaggerated, but I can’t stand reading certain things that just don’t happen during real life sex. Like, you don’t fucking scream out people’s names while climaxing, nor do you use them constantly mid-fuck, or in any other mundane scenario, like face-to-face conversation. Unless you’re trying to get someone’s attention, or you’re pissed, or chastising, you don’t tend to call them by their name like that. That always irks me. I also loathe a lot of overused euphemisms for “naughty parts.” I’ve had many hilarious back and forths with friends about “shooting ribbons” and “his entrance” etc etc. Readers can tell when you feel squeamish about just fucking saying the fucking words. And that is NOT hot. You gotta be willing to get a little dirty. Maybe even dirtier than you would in real life, although I am a champion of just letting it all hang loose when you’re banging. What is the point of doing it if you’re gonna hold back? Same concept when it comes to creating a sex scene and writing it out. Put it all out there. Be super porny, but try to draw the line at being gross. Some words are too medical sounding, and not sexy, some words have nothing to do with sex and don’t work, and some phrases need to be thrown into the trash forever. Use different positions as much as possible. It’s really really hard not to be repetitive when depicting sex acts or the feelings that go along with them. So edit a lot. Alternate between “dick” and “cock,” and throw in some “hard-on,” or “erection,” or “boner,” when appropriate. Don’t be fucking shy. Shyly written sex is bad sex. If you’re not gonna go balls to the wall, then just cut it and gloss over it. Play to your strengths. And my last piece of advice: look at porn. Video or static images, whatever. It’ll help you come up with stuff. If you’ve never had sex, masturbate, and describe that in the context of the pleasure your characters are experiencing. Of course this is the longest answer I’ve given for any of these questions. LMAO... and the most rambling. 

23. How do you balance your characters in an ensemble story?

In fanfic, I pretty much only like alternating POVs for the main couple, and if there are other characters, they all take a backseat and are used pretty sparingly. I’m pretty much the same with any writing. Unless I were writing for TV maybe, I don’t care to focus on more than a couple of people. For IxM, whoever speaks to me when I come up with the idea is who I go with in terms of POV. Usually I alternate, but sometimes it just feels right to focus on one of them only. When alternating, I keep track of word counts for each of them and try to make them as equal as possible by the end of the fic.