#I think any even remotely normal person can agree with that

[magic-can]

Anthony Sanchez is set to executed for a crime he likely didn’t commit on September 21st - around four weeks from the time of making this post. If there is doubt about someone’s guilt, all of the evidence should be thoroughly examined and DNA testing should be done to definitively rule someone out or find the one responsible for the crime. Anthony isn’t being given that chance which is objectively unfair given the information that has since come to light.

[izzystizzys]

There is a scratch mark on the floor of the Council chambers that Mace has never noticed before. Not a deep one, mind, quite shallow. This matters because it’s making the white-hot pulse of agony stabbing through his eyeballs ebb momentarily. Then, he chances a glance upwards at the fidgeting Knight in front of them, and it returns in full force.

Huh, he’s never seen Oppo Rancisis’ face turn that colour before.

“Hmm”, Master Yoda hums, deep and scratchy. His expression is unreadable even to Mace beyond a baseline gremlinness, and the force with which he grips the edges of his seat is making his bones creak. Master of the Order you should become, they said. Follow the calling of the Force, you should. A fulfilling purpose, it will be. Mace is going to hunt the little goblin for sport when this is all over, and he’s going to laugh the whole time.

“Show us the livestream again, could you, Knight Parvo?” Yoda asks. Mace bursts a capillary, he’s pretty sure, and so does poor Knight Parvo, whose orange Mon Cala skin tips all the way into blood red with stress. “Most unusual, this is.”

“Absolutely not!”, Ki Adi intervenes before Mace has to, thank the Force for little mercies. Plo Koon’s tusks tremble slightly with either suppressed laughter or abject horror, maybe both, and Stass Allie has her head in her hands. “The holo stills should be enough”, Ki Adi proceeds to add, and Mace has to reconsider all feelings of grace he just felt towards his fellow Councillor.

He never wants to watch Yoda zoom in on someone’s abs again. Or Depa raise her eyebrows at the curve of thighs bent over the dripping front of a speeder.

“Speeder Wash For Our Troops”, his former padawan reads out loud from a still of what has to be hundreds of the things gathered in the public senate parking lot. “Fund Our Boys And Get A Wet Seeing-To!” The series of images features dozens of Coruscant Guard troopers in various stages of unkitted, gleaming and shining with soap suds and water. The fact that the whole thing is also massive shatterpoint after massive shatterpoint is, quite frankly, insulting.

“Well hello- oh dear”, Obi-Wan’s blue form crackles to life in his chair, followed by several sounds of choking that are definitely not him. Good, Mace thinks acidly. If he has to deal with this, then so does kriffing Skywalker. “I’m sorry, why am I looking at Commander Thorn using a washrag like a lasso on top of a speeder?”

“Oh, the Guard’s little fundraising project”, Bail Organa says, as he steps into the Council chambers. Normally, Mace likes the man well enough. Now, he just smiles and adds on, “I’ve already donated, in mine and Breha’s name. Remotely, of course.”

“The Guard’s fundraising speeder wash?”, Obi-Wan repeats, edges of his holo form flickering with what Mace suspects is Skywalker very unsubtly trying to edge in. Force, but the man really is horrible at any and all stealth, like kissing his secret wife in an open arena in front of his Master. “And they are fundraising for…?”

“GAR budget allocations have to come from somewhere”, Organa shrugs. “And with the tide of public opinion turning, they’ve been tending towards cuts. The Guard feels them more keenly than any other sector - they’ve been reduced from half to quarter rations, and medical supplies have not made more than a token appearance in the last draft. The Chancellor has cancelled three consecutive meetings on the matter, and thus it was agreed that a more hands-on approach was needed. Any surplus will go into the Army fund.”

“Surely it can’t be that dire”, Oppo protests, a slightly less concerning shade of purple now. Senator Organa shrugs again, jostling the smattering of cracks slowly building around his person in a way that makes Mace wince quietly. “It’s all publicly available data, Masters.”

It really can be that dire, as it turns out. And quarter rations is only scratching the surface of how dire, considering the Guard has apparently never had access to bacta in all their posting, and also includes requisitioning forms available to the Senate for reconditionings and decommissionings, two words Mace has only heard Ponds whispers amidst shuddering in the early days of the war before Shaak Ti went off and just about tore some throats out over it.

“Alright”, he concedes, rubbing at his temples. “Fair enough, we have failed to tackle a massive blind spot in the Guard’s well being. There is no Jedi assigned to Coruscant, and that’s an oversight on our behalf. But how in the everloving kriff did this get past the Chancellor and Commander Fox?!”

Who have both signed, black on white. Bail Organa smiles cryptically. “Well, if you scroll a bit past that one image, up to the industrial speeder in the back - Commander Fox is currently having credits stuffed into his codpiece in the back, I believe.”

“HE’S WHAT IN THE WHAT NOW”, Commander Cody screeches through the speaker of Obi-Wan’s holo image, and Mace has to summon every bit of Jedi-serenity he possesses in his body to keep from dropkicking a cackling Yoda through the chamber windows.

[livelaughlovesubs]

Heeeeya, Nini! How's it going? I can't believe its already been a year! I've been here since before that time you accidentally deleted your blog XD. Congrats! you've dominated the sub! bsd tag for forever and I'm living for it XD. For the event, can I please request Fyodor (bsd) with the prompt, 'Keeping their hands bound to make basic tasks difficult or impossible. Bonus: punish them for failing or making a mess'. Bro, I have an inability to be all that sadistic, even in fiction TwT, so for the punishment part, can I request something like tickling? Is that allowed?! LMAO- As always, feel free to delete/decline this if it makes you uncomfy, and have an awesome day. And again, congrats on one year!

AHHHHH DONT REMIND ME OF THAT TIME can’t believe how dumb I was 🥲 but thank you for being a long time follower hehe, the idea with tickling is very cute I love it

Dom!reader x sub!fyodor - reader is gn

Warning: humiliation, teasing, a tiny bit of degrading, tickling >:)

Anniversary event

Thud thud thud

Someone was hammering on your door in the middle of the night, and they just didn’t stop. You’ve been trying to ignore it for the past minutes, but the sound only got louder.

Thud thud thud

“Ahhhh which fucker is it?!” In the end, you gave in and cursed, stomping to the front door before opening a small crack. “What is-” to your surprise you knew the person behind the door, it was fyodor, your boyfriend. “Huh?? Fedya? Why didn’t you use the bell?” You immediately swung the door open and invited him in, he gave you a bashful smile before entering. Then you shut the door behind him.

“You see…” he said, while he let his coat slip from his shoulders, revealing his hands which were bound tightly behind his back. “It proved to be pretty difficult to ring the bell three times, so I thought kicking the door would suffice.” That was the secret code you two agreed on, so that you’d know if it was him who’s standing on your doorway. “Ah…” you stared at his restricted limps, then at him, giving him a questioning glance. He didn’t provide any explanation or answers.

The male turned around to face you, who were still standing next to the door. “Well? Aren’t you going to help me?” He rushed you, but kept his soft smile. “Actually no, not yet.” You replied, crossing your arms in font of your chest. That attitude, were you mad with him? “…y/n, what do you want.” Finally he dropped the good-guy act, seemingly irritated by your behaviour. Normally you’d help without being this difficult, except when you aren’t in a good mood, something that seems to be the case here.

You walked past him and sat down on the couch, making yourself comfortable before saying, “bring me the remote.” Fyodor looked a tad baffled, though he didn’t think too much about it and walked to the shelf to the left of you, pondering for a moment on how to grab it, before using his mouth to bite the object. Then he brought it to you like an obedient puppy, right into your hand and cheeks flushed a bright shade of red. “Good job.” You praised him, scratching the underside of his chin a bit, intensifying his blush.

“Now bring me a scissor to cut those ropes. You can find it in the kitchen.” He glared at you when you didn’t stop ordering him around, especially since he found his actions pretty shameful. Nevertheless, he bit back his complains and went to the other room to get whatever you wanted. Once he found the scissor, he bit the handle of the tool, and carefully got back to your side. “That took you a while.” You chuckled, to which he scoffed, “are you done with the games now?” How furious he sounded, he wasn’t having half the fun you had huh?

You tilted your head to the side, acting like you were thinking about it, then said, “one last thing.” Before giving him a big smile. The male rolled his eyes at that, at least internally. “Bring me a glass of water, that’s my last request, promise.” After you finished your sentence, you raised your pinky finger, then said, “ah silly me, you can’t reciprocate it after all.” Fyodor mumbled, “you are unbelievable.” Then he made his way back to the kitchen. What else was he supposed to do, he needed your help.

Through much resilience and great efforts, he managed to get a cup out of your shelves. And he even managed to fill it with tap water! Afterwards he bit the handle of the cup, finding that to be the easiest course of action, and slowly walked over to you. This was now his third time running a stupid errand for you, and he really hoped this would be the last. On his way back, he accidentally spilled the water in the cup all over himself and the floor, causing him to yelp a little, “hmmm..!”

You turned your head to the source of the noise, giggling at the sight but not helping him. His blush darkened even more, and he closed the last bit of distance between you two. Without any commentary, you took the cup and put it on the table, grabbing the scissors and cutting through his binds. He didn’t expect you to not make fun of him, so consider him grateful.

Though after you were done, you got up from your seat, grabbing his shoulders as you sneered, “gosh, fyodor, you couldn’t even bring me a glass of water?” Guess he jinxed it. Even though considering the circumstances he was in, failing his task was a very possible outcome, he still felt humiliated by your words, or at least embarrassed. He wanted to argue, to try and keep some shreds of dignity when you bested him to it, saying, “shouldn’t you get a punishment for that?”

“A punishment?” As soon as these words left his mouth, you pushed him into the couch and tickled him. Attacking his stomach while responding through a huge grin, “yep! A punishment you can’t evade!” “What- ha- ahaha.. no, wait haha…! Stop!” He laughed involuntarily, kicking his legs around and trying to peel your hands off his body. “Haha.. s-stop, hahh.. really, hahaha~ I can’t-!!” Tears were forming in the corners of his eyes already, his clothes and hair all disheveled. “Hehe.. alright, the punishment is over.” You eventually said, reaching out to his face to wipe his tears away.

As if hit by the realisation, he abruptly stopped smiling, still blushing furiously as he gasped for air. When he breathing calmed down, he pouted, then wrapped his arms around your neck as he gave you a quick kiss on the lips, “you-… you better make it up to me for being mean.”

[merakiui]

thinking about androids again, but rather than the plot seen in android jade,,,, consider android floyd who is being developed by tech genius idia shroud with input and funding from business magnate azul ashengrotto.

(cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, obsession, vaguely implied non-con/dub-con, android floyd)

He's designed to be a companion for those who are lonely and in need of the company (whether physically or socially). You're just a tired, overworked university student, so it's mind-boggling to you when there's a sleek limousine parked just beyond campus property. Security guards are insisting you come with them because there's someone who'd like to meet you.

In the limo, you find yourself sitting across from Azul Ashengrotto himself. He doesn't bother with flowery introductions, instead cutting to the heart of the matter. You've been randomly selected to help with a very important phase of his and Idia's project. The general idea is to test how well the android interacts with a normal, ordinary person in a monitored setting.

You're very confused. You never signed up for any lottery, and you certainly aren't affiliated with anything of that sort. You're just trying to get through your degree, survive two part-times, and hopefully make enough to keep afloat for another month. Azul tells you this isn't an issue; you'll be generously compensated for your time and efforts. It's only three months; you'll be permitted to live your life as you normally would, only now you'll be accompanied by a highly intelligent android.

Despite hearing all of this, you hesitate when he reveals the lengthy contract. As you flip through it, analyzing each clause and category, Azul says something that piques your interest. "We don't expect you to house an android in your little apartment. Goodness, that's simply ludicrous. We'll provide your housing for these next three months. After all, we must be able to monitor your progress."

"Housing? What do you mean?"

He smiles at you. Backdropped by leather interior, the lights casting odd shadows on his face, he looks near-sinister. But he leans forward to press a ballpoint pen into your hands and the illusion vanishes. "I think you'll find it quite to your liking. If you've finished your classes for the day, why not visit the property with me? Then you may decide whether you wish to participate."

You're not worried about that part. What worries you the most, however, is the fact that he's right. You are finished with classes for the day and you have nothing planned. You took today off from work. Your schedule is perfectly free.

But of course the Azul Ashengrotto wouldn't know that, would he?

The house is a smart home, equipped with every necessity and appliance. Everything's controlled by a remote here. It's not very far from your university either, built on a hill that overlooks houses below. It feels a little isolating and smells very new and clean. Like that fabled new car smell, only it's a house. But everything is so unique to you. Its minimalistic design is oddly cozy, and you can't help but feel enchanted the deeper you venture through the two-story home. It's all so unreal!

Azul gives you the rundown, explains how the remote and each button works. You can lock doors, open and close windows, mess with the thermostat, turn the home security on and off, and even start the oven. You hold the power to this home in the palm of your hands. It's immensely fascinating.

By the end of the tour, you're shaking his hand and signing his contract, agreeing to three months of study. Not only are you provided this nice home, you'll also be paid per week. And the pay is far more than you were making with your two jobs.

The android has a long, tongue-tying serial number, so to make things easier he's named Floyd. They even gave him a surname in preparation for the twin android who is being designed to complement and mirror him. He certainly looks human when you meet him, but there's this uncanny nature to his presence that slightly unnerves you. He's too perfect. Skin too smooth. Eyes too bright. Hair too soft. He towers over you, having to bend down to walk through the doorframe, and every movement he makes is very mechanical and stiff.

Still, you smile at him and offer your hand. "Hi there. I'm (Name). Your...housemate, I guess."

He nods, peering down at your hand before lifting his own. "Floyd Leech. At your service."

You were expecting to feel coldness, so you startle when his hand fits into yours and it's warm. It feels so very real. So deceptively lifelike. You wonder if he can regulate his own internal temperatures. Just how advanced is he?

"Right... Um, I look forward to getting to know you!"

He nods again, releasing your hand after a perfectly timed handshake.

Azul had given you a special number should you need to reach him or Idia. All you needed to do was phone it if at any point you were to feel confused or unsafe. "But I don't think you'll utilize it," he told you when you stood in the lab, watching Idia Shroud flit around to do final maintenance checks to ensure Floyd was ready for his first trial run. His eyes were open the entire time, two mismatched lights centered on you. His stare was listless, but somehow you felt as if he was looking through to your very soul. "He's very safe. In fact, he's programmed to assess and react appropriately to dangers of all kinds. You'll be safe with him around."

And safe you are.

You've always been alone, so it's nice to have a roommate, even if he only speaks when spoken to. It's awkward for all of one week until you ease into his pattern. From various vantage points throughout the house, Idia and Azul watch through hidden cameras. You cook your meals for yourself and Floyd watches, assisting when you order him to. You leave for class and Floyd waits by the door for you to return, standing stock-still for hours.

You lounge in the sitting room and put on all kinds of films. Action. Comedy. Horror. Floyd's eyes never leave the screen. But sometimes he watches you more than he watches the movie, noting all of your reactions. He doesn't understand why you get so emotional over sappy romances. So you explain it simply: "It evokes emotions. We all have emotions, and these movies make us feel them. Happy. Sad. Angry. Upset. Things like that."

But Floyd doesn't feel. Even so, he listens and he nods along, filing your answers away for later dissection. It's interesting.

By the end of the first month, Floyd's adopted new habits. Ever since you told him he's free to do as he pleases, he's taken to cooking your meals for you, doing your laundry, preparing your bag for the day. He's surprisingly good at it. He does chores when you leave for classes or work. And for the first time in a while you're excited to return home, knowing he's there waiting.

Floyd adds new words and phrases to his ever-expanding vocabulary. You watch a lot of TV together and he starts to use some of what he hears in his own speech. He picks up informal language quickly, and it isn't long until he's using words like sup or dunno instead of the rigid how are you? and I am unsure he was previously programmed with.

The first sign of unrest comes when you realize Floyd's also connected to the smart home. At first you didn't think it was a bad thing. After all, with him controlling it you won't have to worry about getting up to grab the remote if you've already sat down. Floyd can do that for you. But then the remote goes missing, later turning up shattered. You ask Floyd what happened and he looks at you and says, "Why use this piece of junk when you've got me?"

"Still... What if you're not able to help? What if you're in sleep mode and I need to open a window or something?" you argue, cradling the splinters of remote like they're an injured baby bird.

"That won't happen," he replies smoothly, issuing you a soothing smile. "I'm always gonna be here for ya. Count on it."

And you do because, by the time the three months are nearing their end and Floyd's developed into quite the companion, more and more human than he's ever seemed, you find yourself stuck.

No, not stuck. That's not quite right. You're more so trapped.

Floyd locks the doors, shutters the windows, turns off the lights. You're cowering in the closet, the only place that feels just a little safe in this moment. You can't reach Azul or Idia either. He's shut the power off, the internet connection, everything. The smart home on the hilltop feels like a tiny island now, and Floyd's the shark always circling it, waiting for you to dip your feet into the depths.

"C'mon, Shrimpy," he calls out, and it's a nickname you were once so fond of because he thought of it himself. "I already told ya I ain't gonna hurt ya. So just come out and talk to me."

You have no idea where you went wrong. Was it too many horror films? Was it the fact that you started to rely so heavily on him for companionship, ignoring your human friends in favor of staying in with Floyd? Or was it because he was blocking their numbers that you never received any messages and automatically assumed they were cutting contact? He said he'd always be here for you, so why to this degree?

The closet doors are thrown open. Floyd drags you, kicking and screaming, out by the ankles. Every camera has gone dark on Azul and Idia's end. All but one. The one in the bedroom. Floyd stares directly at it when he lifts you up and lays you on the bed, gentle and sugary-sweet.

He smiles and waves before that screen blanks out, leaving you truly trapped with him.

And because it's all experimental, morbid curiosity trumping ethical morals, no one comes to rescue you.

Three months is more of an indefinite forever in this lonesome smart home.

[thirsty-lakedream]

Third Roomate

I arrive after a long day of classes and this is the first thing I see when I walk into the apartment.

I’m not too surprised. It’s quite normal to see my roommate sitting on the couch and watching one of his shows. What I did not expect is how he looked.

“Hey, Matt…”

The guy glances over but says nothing, instead turning his attention back to the tv. Instead of his normal sci-fi shit he instead is watching a baseball match.

“Matt, yo I’m talking to you.” I try to block the screen with my body but he simply leans over, pointing the remote to the screen.

“In a sec man, I’m trying to watch the game.” I roll my eyes. I doubt he actually knows what’s going on about, just trying to play into his new look. “And stop calling me Matt, you know my name.”

I roll my eyes, “God you are obsessed. You know, when I agreed to buy ‘Gabriel’ with you I thought I’d at least get a turn every so often…”

“Oh come on.” The muscles blonde stood up, towering nearly a foot above me. If I didn’t know any better, I’d feel a bit intimidated. “I’m just having some fun with our new toy before you take him for the rest of the night!”

“Is this fun? Your sitting all alone pretending to be some dumb jock interested in sports. Tell me Gabe, did ‘Matt’ even go to class today?”

He shifted slightly trying to hide away, but with his big frame it was difficult to. “Not exactly… But don’t worry, l attended for him.”

“Dude! Are you serious?” Turning away from the guy, I barged into my roommate’s room, where I found him exactly where I thought I would. He stood in the center wearing a full-body haptic suit and VR headset strapped onto his head. He faced the wall, seemingly staring at nothing. The equipment was rigged to his PC, with the screen showing all sorts of familiar diagnostics and body mapping windows.

“You’ve seriously been using Gabriel all day? Even when you know I called using him tonight! Now his batteries are gonna be dead before I can even use him.” You grab him by the shoulder trying to shake him back to reality.

Matt didn’t turn to me but responded to my accusation “Relax bro. He’s been on the charger since he got home so you don’t have to worry! Look!” From behind me Gabriel walked up, standing attentively.

Both Matt and Gabriel spoke in at the same time in unison. “See? Look I’m Gabriel and I’m ready to go out with my frat bros all night!” Matt performed a mocking jig and Gabriel mimicked the exact movement. He then touched his finger to the temple of his virtual reality goggles and in an instant Gabriel halted all movement.

You see, Gabriel isn’t a real person, he never was actually. He’s what’s known as a techno-puppet. Like how in a video game you can use a controller to manipulate your avatar. It works the same way but instead you control this hyper realistic doll. It wasn’t hard to see why Matt took such a liking to living as him. We spent the last month building this entire life, even forging papers to make him an ‘official’ student in our college. We have people thinking he’s our third roomate, but in reality he’s just a toy for us to experience an exciting college life.

I waited for a moment as he took off the VR equipment and handed it to me. Hiding away into my own room, I excitedly put on the gear. Sitting myself down comfortably on my bed, felt around the headset until I found the power button. Pressing it, the technology in the haptic and goggles whittled to life. After a brief loading time, my vision awoke and I found myself once again standing in Matt’s room. My roomate grinned trying to hide his envy as I was now in control of Gabriel. Maybe ill give him a taste of his own medicine for hogging the beautiful body by taking him for the entire weekend. I know Matt is harboring a secret crush on our puppet so teasing him around the apartment can be a warmup to get into my new persona

[themoodyestj]

Is it normal for a man to continue to be attracted to a woman who tells him she likes other men more than him and that he isn't even the man of her dreams? A man with dignity won't and sure will never tell his audience such a story. Danneel truly succeeded in destroying his self respect, not that he had that much to begin with considering whom he's married to.

You're right, there's a proverbial castration if I've ever seen one. Any man, or woman with a tinge of self respect would not just only throw that project of a woman to the curb, much less say that's what makes her perfect for him. I remember commenting in a post on that topic: Jensen has no idea of how a healthy relationship looks like, whether he is lying or not. And it breaks my heart that he assumes these things are normal, or that can be passed as normal to exist between couples. He is so in deep he doesn't even realize that what he said isn't healthy at all. As much as I dispise the kween, I can't put this specifically on her, but certainly made an existing dent deeper. Unfortunately, he was already struggling with rumours of homosexuality, and he was desperate to get rid of that label. Put a demanding father, a manipulative girlfriend, a excrutiangly cutthroat industry and some delulu fans who have no concern over his integrity in the mix and you have the disaster that we call Jenneel. A friend pointed out that he may suffer from self esteem issues, and I completely agree. The way his personality blends with others and how he adapts depending on who he's with is not a sign of lack of personality, it's a defense mechanism. He's a people pleaser. Just watch closely how he takes a praise. He feels weird over it, he doesn't know how to deal with it. That's perfectly consistent with self esteem issues. So answering your question, no, it's not normal nor do I think he is remotely attracted to her, I think he's stuck, with very little support, and a lot of selfsearching to do. Thanks for the ask, Anon. Have a lovely weekend!

[fernandopiastri28]

give me purpose ~ LN4 x OP81 (pt3)

(part 1), (part 2), part 3

He doesn’t say a word, doesn’t make a noise, but Oscar still catches the look of revulsion all over his best friends face. “C'mon Mate, cut me some slack,” He groans, pushing the lab door open in front of them. “She’s travelling right now and we usually always call before bed,” Lando’s nose wrinkles, forcing the muscles in his face to relax. “Didn’t say anything.” He mutters, dragging the metal chair loudly against the floor. Oscar gives him a look, ‘I know what you were thinking though,’. Lando doesn’t meet his eyes, just dumps his books onto the table. The smack of them covers a perfectly timed cough into his fist. It’s slightly bloody, but not as bad as a few days before.  He wipes his hand clan with a tissue before discarding it with a wadded up piece of paper on top of it. Now it’s fully covered, all out of the sight of anyone who uses the bin after him.

WARNINGS: depression, dark thoughts of self perception, drinking to cope

WC: 2,851

Oscar pesters Lando about getting a girlfriend just about every day for the following two weeks. “Dude, c’mon, just even a girl you can makeout with at parties and shit,” Lando wants to remind Oscar that neither of them even go to parties, so it’s the most stupid suggestion to make.

They lay sprawled across Lando’s bed, Max is long gone and returned to university. It’s quite lonely, the one person who seems to understand him is back in his own little world. “I don’t think I will” He murmurs, his hands carding through the dark tufts of hair he’s been proudly growing out.

“Hm?” Oscar hums next to him, his head rolling over to look at him. He has his arms crossed over a pillow that rests on his chest. He looks very domestic, if that’s the right way to describe it. “I just don’t think I like girls.. like other boys do” Cold air puffs from his bottom lip to his sweaty top lip. A few wisps of dark hair growing over it. “Like you do,” He adds awkwardly. 

The mention of Oscar having a girl in his life gets the older boy ditzy and dazed, his pupils visibly growing. “Just wait until you’ve held the girl you like in your arms, her lips against yours, her perfume and the smell of her shampoo consuming your senses” He recounts dreamily, clearly thinking about his new lover Lily. 

None of that sounds remotely appealing. He wants to throw up, again. 

“Enough about girlfriends,” Oscar agrees, mimicking zipping his lips and tossing the key. He’s such a dad, but Lando’s still somewhat charmed. “Let’s watch something,” He rolls over, shuffling towards the edge of his bed and dipping down to grab his laptop off the ground. “Something scary?”

Oscar scoots closer, tugging a blanket over both of their backs in the most unconventional manner. “Fuck no, you know I’m a pussy. Let’s watch Talladega nights,” 

Lando couldn’t groan louder if he tried. “Oscar, we’ve watched Talladega nights three times in the past month. Are there any other movies you like?” Oscar genuinely has to think about the question, sucking his bottom lip under his teeth in deep concentration. Lando allows the pause and silence to appreciate how normal this all feels. His best friend is finally not away racing, he’s present- willing to shut up about girls for a bit. 

He looks at Lando’s computer screen which is open to some free movie streaming service. “Any of the fast and furious movies?” Lando shakes his head, lip curled in disinterest. “Rush?” He shakes his head again. It’s a more appealing offer, but they’ve seen it twice together already. “...Cars?”

“Mate, do you like any movies that don’t involve racing?”

Oscar thinks hard again, “I like the gentleman,”

“The gentleman it is,”

*

“Okay, bye Babe. Text me when you wake up,” Oscar makes a weird kissing noise into the microphone of his phone, ending his call with Lily after that. Lando pulls a face, his eyebrows pinching together in disgust to keep himself from genuinely just puking all over his best friend. He loves the guy, but damn, he is sappy.

He doesn’t say a word, doesn’t make a noise, but Oscar still catches the look of revulsion all over his bestfriends face. “C'mon Mate, cut me some slack,” He groans, pushing the lab door open in front of them. “She’s travelling right now and we usually always call before bed,”

Lando’s nose wrinkles, forcing the muscles in his face to relax. “Didn’t say anything.” He mutters, dragging the metal chair loudly against the floor. Oscar gives him a look, ‘ I know what you were thinking though,’. Lando doesn’t meet his eyes, just dumps his books onto the table. The smack of them covers a perfectly timed cough into his fist. It’s slightly bloody, but not as bad as a few days before. 

He wipes his hand clan with a tissue before discarding it with a wadded up piece of paper on top of it. Now it’s fully covered, all out of the sight of anyone who uses the bin after him. 

A girl walks past him to get to her desk, the strong scent of some caramel perfume wafting after her. His nose scrunches instinctively, but as the smell becomes fainter, it becomes somewhat enjoyable. Oscar prods his shoulder, forcing him to look back and be met with a sneaky grin. “Her?” He asks, without further elaboration. Lando puts the pieces together quick enough- the girl who smells like caramel. “Do you think she’s pretty?” 

“Logan?” He gives her a look up and down. Straight hair to her waist, lips smeared with obscene amounts of gloss, green eyes framed with long black lashes. She’s deep in conversation with one of her friends when she catches the boys looking back at her. She shoots them a smile, mouth full of braces-straight teeth. Lando reciprocates a lazy smile back in return.  

“She’s cute, hm?” Oscar teases, digging his elbow into Lando’s side. The older’s stomach flutters and his pupils dilate. It's not from looking at Logan, rather from Oscar’s nearness and how Lando could smell his shampoo. The ever so familiar smell of green apple. It’s almost as much of a pleasant comfort smell as  the base smell of sweat after a karting race, the petrol of the track in a close second. 

He doesn’t look at Oscar, just keeps his head down, digging the tip of his pen into the paper of his book. “Yes,” It’s not necessarily a lie. In terms of girls, Logan’s pretty. Does he think of her in the ways Oscar says he thinks of Lily, not even remotely. He can’t imagine ever feeling like that about someone, so he fakes it.  

The rest of the lesson is spent with Oscar teasing Lando about it. Instructing him on ways to flirt with a girl, how to ask one out, what compliments make them blush the hardest. Frankly, he couldn’t have cared less. It was a mute topic, and meaningless advice. He’d never use it, so it would just rot away in his mind as he thinks about how he should want to use it.

Yet, he’ll let Oscar just talk it out at the cost of having his best friend sitting right next to him, their thighs touching. It’s like being on his bed and watching movies, it’s like the car ride home together after a race, it’s like how it should be. 

Making a half assed effort to pretend he’s listening, Lando uncaps his pen as slyly as possible, using his arm as a substitute piece of paper. Each time a minute passes, he adds a single straight dash to his arm, groups of fives. He’s got three groups down and two separate dashes for seventeen minutes in when it catches Oscar attention.

He’s like a needy little dog, always needing his best friend's attention. He gives the girl topic a rest for a bit, pinching Lando’s wrist in between the too long uncut nails on his thumb and pointer. He doesn’t need to communicate what he wants, Lando already knows. 

He allows for his hand to rest in Oscar’s lap, the back of his forearm pressed against the younger’s thigh. A green gel pen presses against his unmarked skin, faint scratches leave doodles of smiley faces, stars, some dodgy and below average attempt at a race car. 

There’s a pause where Oscar contemplates what he wants to draw next. He brings the pen closer to himself, towards Lando’s pale wrist. A love heart. There’s a twist in his stomach that makes him want to crawl up into bed and cry from the sheer pain. It’s bathroom bad, it’s flower bad, it’s blood bad. He fights the urge to puke all over the lab floor.

The cherry on top is the collection of ink splodges being signed with ‘ property of oscar piastri’ . It has him cursing Oscar out a million times over in his head. It’s weird , it’s like they’re dating, it’s probably more than he even does with Lily. Sure, Oscar knows what the girls lips feel like, but does he claim and fucking brand her? 

His mouth wraps around some low level insult he can hurl at Oscar, struggling to get it out as it sticks to his lips, clinging like cracked and flakey skin during winter. Being mean won’t help anything, being hotehead has never helped anything, “You’re a good drawer,” He decides to be nice.

Without bothering to shift his eyes to Oscar, he just knows what the older’s reaction to that is; some wide and dorky grin, matched with a slight raise of his eyebrows in shock. He covers his surprised reaction with a mumbled out form of thank you . 

*

Summer hits and life just seems to improve by 100%. Lando sleeps better, smiles more, laughs at even the worst of jokes on TV. He forces himself out of his comfort zone, hanging out with Daniel a few times. He goes karting with Oscar, Alex, and George, and Oscar out does all of them embarrassingly. He realises that having friends who aren’t just Oscar is kinda good, because it means he’s not completely alone when the Australian around.

He gets closer to Carlos, and he does so when Oscar isn’t around as the two boys seem like the same charges of magnetism, pushing away from each other and unable to find any common ground. Carlos is a typical teenage boy, burly and matured faced, but with the same stupid sense of humour that Oscar seems to have grown out of.

Lando hates to accept it, but Oscar’s seeming to mature for him every day.

Carlos brings out a boyish sense of fun that he’s seemed to have lost over time. It’s at no fault of Oscar’s, maybe it was from just isolating himself because he thought he only had Oscar. Carlos teaches him Spanish- a few phrases to get him by if he was ever to visit, and a few just for the sake of being funny. He invites him over to his house and lets him stay over for the night. They watch movies together, laying on Carlos’ extravagant bed. It’s squishy under his body, covered in a thick knitted blanket. 

But it’s not quite Oscar’s bed. Oscar’s rickety old bed that endured the travel from Australia, the one they’d etched their names into, writing secrets and jokes in. It’s not his doona decorated in small race cars, obviously designed for a young child, but still suiting him at 17. 

Carlos’ house has the best food- warm and decadent spanish treats the Sainz family introduces to Lando too, cold cuts of cured meats, and so much bread. He puts on weight over the holidays, purely just from eating at Carlos’ house. Yet, he misses sneaking rum balls from Oscar’s kitchen during sleepovers and laying in his backyard eating party pies.

He misses the Australian food he’d insist on having each time he went to Oscar’s- wanting to ‘try his culture’. That request always got a laugh out of the younger boy. He misses making fun of Oscar’s painting of a koala and a kangaroo that he’d done years back that sticks to the fridge under a fridge magnet in the shape of Australia.

He misses Oscar, so he distracts himself with Carlos.

And for the most part, it’s enough.

Lando sits in the backyard of the Piastri family house, his hand buried in the soft fur of Bas’ back. Oscar’s away for a few days to go visit Lily, but his parents are thrilled to see Lando hanging around again. It’s not as if he’s never around, but going from every single afternoon and most nights down to maybe three times a week- especially during the holidays, it’s a drastic change.

He decides he likes sorta living in Oscar’s house, and just stays there throughout the day. He’s not sure how, but the sun seems to burn brighter over at the Piastri’s house. Maybe they’ve cast some Australian spell over it, because Lando soaks up all the sun while laying out by their pool, getting a golden glowing tan for the first time in years.

Another thing that had happened over the concise holidays, he finally went to a party. Not only that,. He realised what he’d been missing out on, how fucking fun they actually were. Drinking was fun too, not the actual process- but the feeling after. Carlos tells him he’s lucky that he doesn’t get the hangover headache after each party. He knows he is, it allows him to get back up again and do it all the next night.

And maybe Oscar had some okay advice. He doesn’t find a girl that’s just for hookups, but he does makeout with Daniel a few times. Daniel tells Lando that he’s ‘bisexual’, and he has to explain it when Lando doesn’t quite understand that.

When he does know what it means, Daniel asks Lando if he’s also Bi. He wants to say yes, because he’s clearly attracted to the curly haired, strong nosed Australian, but he's not sure if there’s any girl he can pinpoint he is attracted to. He shrugs, his fingers tugging at the hem of Daniel’s blue sports jersey. “I guess,” He hums, leaning forward to peck Daniel on the chin. It feels like a weird place to put it, but Daniel’s a year older- seeming so mature and experienced- and he seems to like it, smiling wide as he can and playing with the curls on the back of Lando’s neck.

There’s a definite comfort when it comes to being around Daniel, hearing the Aussie accent that’s been such an essential familiarity for the past few years. He likes the hookups with Daniel, he likes when they kiss over and over, each peck being so chaste and dry that it’s not at all like slobbery ones that haunt his imagination. It’s also nice that he doesn’t have to commit to anything. Daniel likes another boy, one called Max. Not Lando’s brother, some exchange student from the Netherlands. For now, Lando is experience for Daniel to test out what it’s like to be with a boy, and Daniel is Lando’s first experience to be with anyone.

Some days he sleeps over at Carlos, once or twice at Daniel’s, never at his own- every other day not spent at the Spaniard’s or the curly haired man- he sleeps at Oscar’s, which is most of the time. Each day is the same- going over to the Piastri house through the front gate, small talk with his parents and sisters, usually mainly Mae who seems the most interested in actually talking to him, before retreating to Oscar’s room to make use of his PC.

Days turn to weeks, as it's almost the last week of the six week summer holiday. He’s missed Oscar like crazy, and he thinks about everything he wants to complete in these nine days before they return to school. Oscar had extended his trip for visiting Lily, somehow getting roped into going on an impromptu trip with hers to some camping area near a beach.

He sees pictures of Oscar on instagram- which is a first for him to post. Tan lines decorate the pale expanse of his body. Permanent blush scatters across his nose and cheeks, his hair lightly bleached from the sun and seawater. Along with the tans and aching burns, speckles of even more moles cover his body. They look pretty, and Lando realises it’s the first time he’s looked at someone, seen a feature of theirs, and genuinely felt a sense of admiration of its beauty.

He really appreciates having Daniel in his life, helping him to discover that he actually does kinda like people like that.

The post also shows off Lily, which is Lando’s first time seeing what she looks like. He’s at Carlos’ pregaming when he sees the photos. Carlos leans over his shoulder to look at the phone, mumbling ‘ Dios bueno,’ when Lando zooms in one Lily’s face. She’s fucking beautiful, a real life barbie doll. Long shiny hair, an adorable pretty face, perfect lips, perfect face, perfect girlfriend.

She’s perfect, and Oscar loves her in all of her perfectness.

So he drinks extra that night, and kisses Daniel harder than either of them had originally planned for. He cries into Daniel’s lap, sobbing that he’ll never be enough. Despite his funny and unserious demeanour, Daniel knows how to be sensitive and take care of  someone. 

Lando stumbles to the bathroom and coughs up so many flowers and loose petals. He’s convinced he’s stained the whole place red by the time he retreats back into the main room of the party, resting his head in Alex’s lap who is even more attentive to taking care of him. George and Carmen help out where they can in trying to sober him up so he’ll ‘ feel better’ , but he just wants more liquor and sleep. He wants silence again.

[snowyroads]

Hello, I'm about to go on a yapping session about my feelings on different football rpf ships because i'm up and can't sleep! :) grab your popcorn and get ready. I also just want to do this cuz i feel like i haven't given y'all an insight on what goes on in my brain.🧍🏻‍♀️(i started this last night when i was half asleep lol)

joemarr- THIIISSS ONE! okay, clearly this is one of my favorites. (if you couldn't tell from my mass postings about them or amount of fics i have) i feel like a lot of ppl have different opinions on their dynamic and somehow I agree with every single one. i think every since LSU days, Ja'marr has worked on Joe getting out of shell. not to call Joe introverted (because we all know that man could get it) I just think at the beginning with him being new to the team and not knowing where he fitted in, Ja'marr was the one there for him and take him under his wing essentially. THEN, I think Joe did the same thing for Ja'marr when he got drafted to the Bengals. because dude literally told his coach to choose Ja'marr. (some fan behavior right there) and when ppl were starting to doubt Ja'marr's abilities as a WR, Joe was immediately there to back his man up. I also think that little pinky thing they do IS ABSOLUTELY CRAZY. cuz wdym!??? i think i could write a whole essay just about that stupid handshake of theirs. it's something about seeing two grown ass men, join their pinkies together as a sign of 'friendship' and then going on their merry way afterwards like they just didn't interlock their souls together? OH. ALSO, the fact that they don't even call what they have a friendship, they both say relationship when referring to each other. cuz that's totally what normal bros do, yk? GIVE ME A BREAK. WE KNOW WHAT YALL ARE. the clothes buying? the teasing each other? Joe wearing JA’MARR’S JERSEY!? ok im not even done with everything i have to say about them but we'll leave it there for now.

Stefon/Josh- they actually make me want to scream. when i actually first found out about football rpf, they were the first ship i read about and i fell IN LOVE. but i found out about them too late and only got to enjoy two years of them together before the divorce. HAHAHA. (it's actually not even remotely funny) One of the best moments i think i saw between the two of them was when Josh was giving a pre-game speech one time and Stefon was so hyped, he jumped up and helmet bumped Josh's chest. wanna guess what happened next? at the next pre-game speech, Josh put his hand on Stefon's helmet to 'calm' him and stop him from making any unnecessary head bumps. Another moment that was crazy to me was the amount of just touching the two of them would do. like they always had to be connected in some way! AND the hugs after that lions game, the one where Josh literally looked like he couldn't breathe until he got his arms around Stef? WTF. THEY MAKE ME SIIICK. how you go from saying you wanna grow old with someone to giving him a half hug after a game? HUH? i just have to tell myself that they actually text everyday and that the side eye was just for dramatic publicity. Stefon will always be my #1 DIVA! <3.

koc/jj- okay, this one is still kinda new for me BUT it aint hard to tell what's going on with these two. for one, KEVIN IS SO FINE. IDCCC. shit i don't blame you Justin. AND JUSTIN IS JUST SOOO. UGH. he's the definition of babygirl. which is crazy cuz i never thought i would see a WR and go "babygirl?" BUT W JJ I DID. and then i just think Kevin can't help himself when he's around Justin. Always all up on him and in each other's personal space. like damn we get it. we all wanna fuck that old man. and we all think jj deserves to be treated like the princess he is! which makes them perfect for each other. It also just automatically has that tension to it because they are a coach and player relationship, so it gives "we can't get caught" ANYWAYS, ik there is so much more with them too but that's all i can think about right now.

Mike/Tua- ALRIGHT, they don't get the recognition they deserve! and i think that's because they don't have a lot of moments between them but when they do, it's big and they go viral. like the head kiss we got after Tua’s concussion (which i actually hope he thinks about his life before a career in football) and they have that same coach/player dynamic like koc and jj. also, i think Mike McDaniel is too hot for his own good. mhm. especially when he wears those glasses. OMG. anyway, im getting ahead of myself. Tua is literally the sweetest human being ever too and i remember watching hard knocks last season and their relationship and chemistry is just…WOW. (which is also why i can’t wait till this year’s with the Bengals comes out) idk how to explain it.

Brock/Fred- once again, they are both fine AF. ITS INSANE. also, size difference goes crazy. ANYWAYS. (there’s not a lot on them either so this is more just what i feel about them) Brock being Mr. Irrelevant and being the last pick in the draft, going from sitting on the bench as a 3rd string QB to STARTING is so personal to me. and he was scared as hell having to start so randomly in the season but Fred was there to pick him up when he was down and give him all the confidence he needs! Fred being a vet and teaching Brock how to be confident in himself and his abilities to be the best QB for their team. AND THEN, Brock takes them to not just one but two superbowls!? (ik they didn’t win but still it counts for something) i also just find Brock/Fred to be the definition of golden retriever and black cat energy. Brock’s the golden retriever ofc (have yall seen that clip of him saying “hi mom!” to the camera?? OMFG) Then Fred is the black cat because he’s always so nonchalant to me. like when the camera pans to him on the sideline, dudes got a straight face as they’re winning like 34-10 (ik that hasn’t rly happened this season but we move on) BUT YEAH, yall see the vision right??

okay if you’ve made it this far tysm!! <3 these football men make me crazy. i hope yall enjoyed my yapping session and feel free to ask or share anything!! <33

[wackyscreamswithraisin]

Indefinite Hiatus and Clearing the air BIG TW ON //PERSONAL

Before I say anything this is the fanfic summary: It’s/ it was revolving around Raisin and Malcom (and Hamilton) from the Smart Talk With Raisin short, somehow stealing a meta cartoon remote from the, inaccessible to them; Cartoon Network ‘toonworld’ (like when you see the characters crossover in CN bumpers). They’d watch Courage the Cowardly Dog on their tv in their room like a comfort, but with the remote they start meddling with the character’s awareness of meta for entertainment - and when Barbara accidentally fuses with a glitched artefact, she is unable to be reverted to normal and she breaks the constructs of her own minor characterdom to try and track them down. The fic idea has changed a lot over the years but that’s what it (currently) has changed to. It’s rather Pibby adjacent and would focus on a lot of what’s changed about cartoons between every half decade - yeah it’s very complicated and over the top lol.

I know y’all are sick of me making these long ass walls of texts instead of proper content and I’m really sorry I keep pulling this 💀. I was going to make a nicer pinned posts] of explanation but since this blog is in a confusing place at the moment I just decided to do it quick instead so I don’t put it off.

For those who don’t want to read the full thing: TLDR,

1. I have personal attachment to Fred that has probably affected my judgement

2. My thoughts on Fred as schizophrenic rep is certainly not universal and the partial embarrassment about writing content revolving around him continues to catch up with me

3. The related problems below are reason why I have been so adverse to seeing Fred as being a r-pist m—-ster or SA’er

And 4. I’m starting to accept that it’s not that deep if my fanfic never gets told. Even if it would make me happy, it’s not the end of my work or me if I don’t. Nevertheless I hope you all understand and I’m sorry for any disappointment.

On the personal issue: First, bc some might not know, I am mentally ill and have had a vague diagnosis of psychosis for years that was never fully decided and that I understand now and abridge as ‘schizopsec’, but follows all the traits of OSDD 1B, enough that I tend to use both terms. ‘Fred’ is one of my alters - he’s my main ISH (internal self helper), caretaker, and fictive (fictional introject), and he has been for around 10 years. This is not a joke. This is as cringe as it sounds, even worse in real life when he fronts of course, and is embarrassing for me to admit even when I attach this post to my main blog where I share schizospec upliftment posts. It’s a complicated and excruciating subject matter for many many reasons, and it’s important that I clarify this, even though it’s uncomfortable for me, since this naturally affects my ability of separating Fred the alter from Freaky Fred in my writing and art. This is part of why I have to keep scrutinising my writing drafts. I believe I can keep them separate, but this is part of the reason why I guess my attachment for him and making content to do with him is there at all.

My thoughts on Freaky Fred in episode : As a schizospec, putting the alter aside, schizophrenic representation means the world and the moon and the stars to me, even when it’s bad. I can’t tell if this is an agreeable opinion amongst other schizospec/ psychotic people, but even damaging and dangerous rep involving homicidality like the axe crazy maniacs have something of catharsis in their rises and falls that I can appreciate, depending. Sexually depraved and violent rep however, crosses a line; obviously schizo killers in fiction are heavily drenched in misinformed stigma and is mostly bullshit and can be dangerous- we are dramatically far more likely to hurt ourselves or be hurt - but I think most people would agree that sexual violence is a different evil altogether, and I cannot stand to see the marginalised mentally ill conflated with such horrendous shit.

There’s the problem. I think Fred is a schizophrenic; other than him getting the equivalent to straightjacketed at the end and taken to presumably some asylum or how he narrates/ talks/rhymes in his own head and otherwise barely talks just disjointedly - he’s got that classic 90s-00s cartoon crazy grin and is instilling fear in the viewer through said unbalancedness,his whole deal is very ‘of its time’ on displaying scary madness. And, all that being said, even though he’s clearly not good rep by any stretch of the imagination, he doesn’t harm anyone - he’s even ‘nice’ - or at least doesn’t seem to be blatantly malicious. The bar is on the floor, but that’s already better than idk William Afton or something.

Fred as a predator: The point of view of Fred as a metaphorical molester is pretty obvious and is a popular opinion, and it would be dishonest to say I don’t completely see it, especially with how he says naughty - the implication steers more into the sexual predator area. Hair shaving isn’t violent as much as taking something away - subtracting, and this can be interpreted in a murderous or SA fashion, but the murderous interpretation I stick with, one akin to Sweeney Todd, is a very flattering view of it and I know it. It’s easy to see how it comes off fetishistic which favours an SA view and is naturally the reason why a lot of people see it as rapey.

The episode as a metaphor for SA or CSA enabled in a household that turns the other way is popular, and at first I didn’t like this theory because it felt like a dark theory made almost to tarnish child content with a deeper or darker meaning, which I had seen a lot elsewhere. But this wasn’t really honest; ‘The Mask’ works well as an episode with no subtext but is respected moreso as an episode clearly about domestic abuse and misandry born from trauma. ‘Freaky Fred’ can also be this.

I think the well and honest truth for me is, even when I do everything I can to touch grass, and remove my personal connection to the character/ the idea of him through the alter, away from the conversation; I really don’t want Fred to be a schizophrenic and a sexual predator character at the same time, and I cannot remove my view of him as the first one, but I have to admit that, in some ways, both was intended for him and this episode in some variation. It’s pretty upsetting to think about; I know a majority audience isn’t going to be that invested in the representation of mad people, especially not in cartoon antagonists, but it matters a lot to me. Obviously it would still be bad if he wasn’t a crazy character and it would still be scary and awful if he acted more ‘normal’, but that craziness is there and the combination feels particularly wretched because, once again, schizophrenics are far more likely to be victimised.

What I’m trying to say with all this; Fred is a mad character who despite being the most offputting and scary character I’ve ever seen in my life, managed to become irremovable from my psyche for almost my whole life, for better and for worse, and in some small way, seeing him as so scary and uncomfortable, but equally ‘good-willed’ and harmless by technicality in that episode, made me feel a little less alone. But people who have been yucked out by this blog and this fixation as I said before are fully in their right, and I am taking a step back to consider if I want to continue with making stuff to do with Fred or not.

The fanfic?: I still think about the story a lot but as you can probably tell I’ve made it very convoluted by involving a meta narrative, and as I’m just about to head into university by the time I’m writing this, it’s difficult to tell what will come of this. I will let you all know, but it’s in a continuous grey area and I don’t want anyone to get their hopes up. I’m sorry.

Will I still post art?: Maybe haha, I never know how to feel when I post it. Sometimes I worry it gives off the impression that I ship post-shaving incident Barbred (I don’t) or that I endorse Fred’s ‘freakiness’ at all. And sometimes I think it just looks bad, as in not a good recreation of the ctcd art style, or too sad - like idk why I think the audience is just going to understand these alarmingly emotional pieces when I’ve been pretty scarce on context, I apologise for everyone’s who’s gotten tonal whiplash scrolling. Fred art may come up elsewhere on my other blog which I will reblog here if I think it’s appropriate.

If you read all the way thank you so much💚, I hope you get what I’m saying, and if you don’t I understand. Consider following my main zebedeezing if you want somewhere I post more often though non ctcd related.

[trickstarbrave]

i havent drawn her yet but fine. i made a new nerevarine

artemisia septim, bastard princess of uriel conceived around the time just before jagar tharn ended up imprisoning uriel in a pocked dimension of oblivion (events of arena). uriel didn't really want her, but given she wasn't born to a random maid, he agreed to raise her but she's pretty much locked up in her wing of the imperial palace with only a nanny and tutors. she never knew her mother, just that she was a noblewoman who agreed to stay silent if he took responsibility.

after jagar tharn was defeated uriel vii focused more efforts on legitimate heirs and clearing out any potential spies. her nanny is killed on suspicion of being a spy who aided jagar tharn along with several of her maids. artemisia is only 11-12. she begins to hate him.

because she's an elf she's still young by the events of morrowind, at least as far as elves age. it makes her feel even more alienated in the imperial palace. she only ever speaks to her siblings and father in formal settings, otherwise they rarely acknowledge her. she studies magic but she knows uriel vii is a very. paranoid person for a good chunk of her life following his imprisonment. time breaking after the warp in the west probably did not help anyone. elves as i write them age normally until around the 20's after which it DRAMATICALLY slows down, but everyone expects her to be a fully mature woman who's nearly 40 (maybe she's younger idk i might set her story a few years before the official game. or maybe later. we'll see) bc theyre all imperials. she's like. baby to most elves though.

she's sent on a diplomatic mission to morrowind for politics. she's just excited to fucking leave the imperial city and GO SOMEWHERE. she finds the palace stiffing and filled with horrible memories. she wants to see something new, and she always read about morrowind. to her its a dream come true to finally get to see it in person and she's so excited she can hardly sleep.

of course. uriel sent her to morrowind because he knew the political tensions there were too high to send one of his legitimate heirs. he's hoping she doesn't die but also he needs an ambassador and wants to make a good impression. if she is attacked and killed though he intends to use it to put morrowind more heavily under his thumb. he also, given he has some prophetic abilities, has a good feeling about sending her there.

she's super excited at first even though things are. tense. they were told uriel had a dunmer daughter but she doesn't look like a dunmer at all. even being half. they've seen half-imperial half-dunmer children and she doesn't look like a dunmer even remotely. she has pointed ears but her skin has a golden hue and her hair is stark white and her eyes are red. she explains she was born with a condition that lead to only patches of grey skin that faded as she got older but that her mother was definitely a dunmer. they question if she actually had an affair with an altmer and not the emperor behind her back but in a way she can still hear, but dismiss it as the empire playing tricks on them to make them look stupid. she isn't half dunmer. the emperor must think theyre stupid and is passing off his altmer born bastard as a dark elf like they can't tell she doesn't have grey skin. (nerevar was rly coming through on this one. azura had to much fun in the create a sim i think)

however some sixth house members strike. orvas dren tipped them off that a septim would be coming for a diplomacy meeting and their plan was to kidnap her, hold her hostage, make her a dreamer, and then send her back to the imperial palace with plenty of ash statues.

caius ends up rescuing her and taking her back to hide in his house. she's freaking out bc what the fuck there's a freaky ass cult in morrowind?????????? were they gonna kill her?????? did the emperor know????????? and now she's stranded in the country until caius can figure out a way to smuggle her out without someone knowing but he suspects there might be sixth house infiltrators in nobility who would catch them. they can't risk him just plopping her in a boat while they also hide in wait there and caius in good conscious can't let her die when uriel tasked him with protecting her by any means. so instead he gives her a slight haircut, some commoner clothing, and tells her they're gonna give her a fake identity

she's like. "great im stuck in a fucking skooma den on this fucked up island and theres ash storms here and weird cultists and im miserable and i almost died and--"

"here's 200 gold, buy some other gear, say you're a half altmer mage coming here to study, join the mages guild and try not to get yourself killed. i have a few contacts in the guild i told to keep an eye out for you and keep you safe. do NOT do anything reckless. do you understand."

artemisia realizing that she gets to join the mages guild and do whatever she wants now:

[hyper-jam]

More random SecurityWaiter/DreamTheory headcanons (part 3)

+some general fnaf movie stuff

-I like the idea that Mike, Abby, Ness, Vanessa, Max, and Cory(/whatever his characters name is/would be) are all friends and call themselves the fazgang, which Ness, Abby, and Vanessa were definitely the ones who came up with that

-Mike eventually agrees to take Ness to Freddy’s after months of asking, and the two of them + Abby and Vanessa all go together to hang out with the animatronics and tell each other stuff about the place (Ness finally finds out the truth abt everything)

-Mike listens to 80’s music and like “male manipulator” type shit (he’s an angsty trans guy bros a stereotype /pos) and Ness is a def a Swifty he loves “white girl who’s friends are almost all gay men” type music /hj

-when Abby finds out that Mike and Ness like each other, she is GOBSMACKED because her brother has always been chronically bitchless on both ends but then she gets all excited to try and play match maker (she asks Vanessa for help and they’re actually kinda good at it)

-Vanessa is a LESBIAN and I am MIKENESSAS #1 HATER !! /hj /lh

-Ness loves embarrassing Mike any chance they get ever (they do try their best not to overstep but they’re a bit bad at gauging where the line is, especially since Mike isn’t very good at communicating, so they do go too far sometimes but it’s ok normally it’s all good and fun and Mike secretly likes it he’s like “hehe that’s right they’re my partner and I’m their boyfriend hehe I’m a boyfriend hehe”)

-Mike and Ness are so clingy I will never shut up abt it they will text and call any time they’re apart but they’re together like any chance they get and when they’re out in public, Ness will make it obvious they’re together in every way they can (without making Mike uncomfortable) and Mike can be a bit possessive over them like if he’s upset or feels left out or like Ness isn’t paying him enough attention to him (etc etc which like doesn’t happen often cause Ness is obsessed with him) he’ll get more physically and openly clingy (example is my last art piece they’re so cute) and in private they’re just like always touching, kissing, hugging, cuddling, rubbing, caressing, tracing, holding they are SO CLINGY IDC

-Abby makes the fazgang friendship bracelets

-Mike is NOT a jewelry person even remotely but he will wear anything Abby or Ness gives him, he just makes it known that he prefers bracelets and rings as they’re more subtle and usually more masculine

-Ness on the other hand loves jewelry and accessories and fun clothing in general. They have earings, bracelets, rings, pins, glasses, jackets, belts, pants and shirts with fun designs, etc. he loves dressing up

-Ness’ love language is yapping (info dumping, rambling, pet names, words of affirmation, etc.) and Mike loves to listen (even though he has no idea what they’re on abt half the time, he just likes hearing their voice and seeing them happy/excited/passionate)

-Mike and Ness absolutely share music with/make playlists for each other, even though majority of the time their music taste is NOT similar like AT ALL 💔💔💔

-Ness likes buying Mike shirts. Usually they’ll be nice and buy him shirts with stuff he’s interested in on it (music, movies, etc.) but he will also buy dumb things or cheesy couple stuff to see how much he can get away with (Mike always wears them, even if he thinks they’re dumb, though if they’re too dumb he’ll usually wear hoodies and jackets over them. Still wears them though)

-Mike and Ness absolutely steal each others clothes. They don’t wear them, cause they’re different sizes and styles, but being the clingy hoes they are, they’ll steal shirts and hoodies and stuff just simply to have, especially if they have to be apart for a long time

-whenever/if Mike eventually gets top surgery, Ness immediately becomes more touchy because they know that Mike is far more comfortable. They hug and cuddle him without worry, they run their hands across his chest, they kiss his scars, etc. UGH they’re so sweet I love them

-fall and winter are Mike and Ness’ favorite seasons. Mike loves it because of the cooler and darker weather, meaning he can comfortably layer clothes and experiences less weather related sensory issues (temperature, sunlight, etc.), Ness loves the holidays and the seasonal treats

-Mike and Ness love carnival and arcade dates. Ness loves carnival treats and rides, Mike likes winning games, they both like getting cute little prizes for each other. They do have to take precautions for overstimulation though lol. Noise canceling headphones (Ness has the obvious over ear ones that they like to decorate, Mike wears ear plugs/buds), sunglasses if lights are too much, little codes to let the other know that they need a break or wanna leave, etc.

-they cook together. Again, I do love the “Mike can’t cook for shit” headcanon but frankly that’s not super likely so they just cook together and it’s cute

-cute at home movie dates where they either bond over nerdy shit (like Marvel, Star Wars, whatever) and Ness can’t stop talking about his theories and Easter eggs and general things he thinks about the movies the whole time, which Mike doesn’t mind since he’s already seen them plenty of times and again he just likes listening to Ness, or Ness makes them watch cheesy romcoms that make Mike want to pull his hair out and he actively complains and makes fun of the characters the whole movie, which Ness doesn’t mind cause like yeah he’s right but they’re also always like “omg us” and Mike is like “what no nuh uh we’re so much cooler than them/I don’t act anything like that” and then Ness gives him a look and Mike is like “babe, stop, no, we’re/im not like that” and then Ness starts making a silly little impression of some shit Mike does and then Mike sees their point but is still stubborn abt it and just akskdslsdn you get the idea

-ok that’s all for now giggles

[overlysour]

may a request jealousy hcs for tighnari, cyno, kazuha and dainsleif with fem or gn reader pleasee?

＃VARIOUS GENSHIN CHARACTERS♡ — THEM WHEN THEY’RE JEALOUS

(Part two)

Reply: Ofc u can! I’ll do gn reader just so anyone can sort of imagine themselves. I didn’t have enough energy to write any more characters but I think I’ll definitely write more characters with jealously if requested by someone <3

Tighnari

Kinda petty when jealous, though depending on the situation.

He’d be clingy in a physical way (if you’re comfortable with that, he’d only do what you’re happy with 🫶)

His tail probably wraps around your leg once or twice to get your attention whilst he glares at the source of his jealously.

His ears go completely stiff but might occasionally twitch as if he’s twitching in annoyance.

Probably throws a few insults made to seem like jokes.

Intense glaring.. like, he’ll smile as he glares at someone and he’ll even have the nerve to chuckle.

Continues to be clingy until the day is over then acts like he didn’t do anything at all when questioned.

“Hm, yesterday? No, I don’t recall that.. Well, seems I’ve got my forest duties calling out to me.”

Cyno

Possessive but not controlling, he’ll only act if he sees his jealousy not selfish.

Whether he’s trying to or not, he’ll unconsciously glare at someone or something he’s jealous of.

May wrap his arm around your waist but he won’t cling to you or do anything remotely affectionate unless you’re alone together (depending whether your relationship is very public or not).

Honestly a bit like he’s an animal as well with the fact he’s not immune to growling by accident (without realising).

May like to give you a small kiss out of sight just to calm him down <3

Overall quite chill on the outside if he’s not glaring.

Kazuha

Wouldn’t act on his jealously until after the encounter that made him feel that way.

Will act normal but don’t be surprised if his arm snakes it’s way onto your waist or he holds your hand.

May be slightly quieter than usual though believes thoroughly that you wouldn’t agree to be with him if you didn’t love him.

Cares deeply about your relationship with him so he’d be slightly insecure that he’d loose you :(

Honestly a tiny bit of affection could make him feel better so don’t worry he’s not sad for long!

Dainsleif

Will act calm but don’t put it past him to glare.

Would be protective due to the fact you’d be one of the only people he let into his life in many, many years.

He’s lost many things and people, including a whole nation and their people so of course he’d be glaring a tiny bit if he’s feeling like he may loose you to someone else. He doesn’t want to loose the one person he finally got close to and learned to love

Not petty but would need a hug and a smile from you to make him happy again.

Might follow you around more then he already does to make sure you’re okay.

[decepti-thots]

for so long I have felt like a weirdo for thinking that the jro pregnancy stuff is deeply unhorny. but I am going to say it now: it's only horny in the way that the alien franchise is horny: there are definitely people who are horny about it, but it's primarily about the non-sexy aspects of pregnancy. i get that it's a funny joke but a non-insignificant people genuinely act like it's "the writer's barely disguised fetish". birth is weird and scary and fascinating, even more so in robots. im probably more defensive about this than I should be but it's kind of upsetting to me that this is where the discussion always ends

I'll put this under a cut so as not to spam anyone's dash bc yeah I went off on this ask haha (positive).

I actually felt so insane about this very topic I ran a damn poll on my NSFW sideblog and the thing is: the majority of folks voting agreed no, it's not inherently, textually horny. (I would know; I know horny when I see it, ffs!) Which vindicated me! Because I agree it's so ridiculous a thing to unironically, sincerely insist is super horny, given the text, lmao.

Like, it's extremely obsessed with pregnancy, but this is not the same as 'a fetish', and tbqh I think the 'fetish' joke just shields any actually interesting discussion of what it's doing. I think the Alien comparison here is actually really telling; it's absolutely a visceral thing, a thing concerned with the body and how it functions, sometimes against our will. And it's not unconnected to sexuality or eroticism in how those things are discussed more broadly, in the sense it's talking about a thing that intersects with those elements in the abstract, but it's not. Like. It's not a "fetish" thing, and if the characters it involved weren't referred to as 'he' in text I think less people would be calling it that, and actually it kinda sucks that every time I bring it up I have to block people who see 'pregnancy mentioned' on my completely sfw posts as an excuse to go off on their personal fetishes in detail, or their desire to speculate on the imagined fetishes of the writer in equally graphic detail. (BTW, it's genuinely uncomfortable seeing people obsessively speculate on the imagined fetishes of a creator, I think. We should all do that a little less in public.)

I mean not to be a total killjoy or anything but like... treating pregnancy in itself, even in the most abstract way, as inherently fetishistic and inappropriate (the people reblogging my innocuous posts about pregnancy metaphors with fucking trigger warnings! 'mpreg trigger warning' being a normalized way to tag pictures that are just Trans Dude Who Is Pregnant!) is uh. I mean we live in a world where pregnant people are often massively marginalized by society period, and seen as somehow inappropriate for public life, and especially anyone who is remotely GNC. Like the idea that something is inherently obscene about a pregnant person is, shall we say, not apolitical. It is in fact a thing that people actually have to fight against in real life. I mean. Fandom doing this to a text that in fact is most notable for treating pregnancy weirdly neutrally in these terms is... frustrating! I think we all lose out when we refuse to engage with weird, funny texts that have things to say about these topics that fall outside our expected frameworks, like, say, 'this is A Fetish TM'. That's limiting! If we want to talk about what IDW1 phase two does with gender, we cannot do that properly if every time we talk about MTMTE we get weird about it doing sexless genderfree pregnancy metaphors, and instead make them funny mpreg jokes, tbh! IDK! Seems counter intuitive! And I genuinely think MTMTE/LL's bizarre approach to the thing is so interesting precisely because it's so odd and offputting. What if we actually examined it. I think we can find some good stuff in there, frankly.

And truly the especially frustrating thing is that the comic itself, for all it is objectively weird and hilarious and 'why the fuck is this even HERE' about it... is just never that. Like. I posted those excerpts because it IS weird and it IS wild and it IS quite funny in its way! It's alien robot body horror in a kids' cartoon franchise turned to an unexpected end! But you know what it actually manages, somehow, to never be? One: weird and misogynist about pregnancy. Two: weird and transphobic about it involving vaguely, ostensibly 'male' characters. Make all the mpreg jokes you want I guess, but MTMTE is many bizarre things but it never gives one single shit about the gender binary, and tbh I think it's genuinely kind of embarrassing the fandom saw a comic that did insane robot body horror pregnancy shit and was like. Okay well. But the mpreg tho.

Like. I've joked for years that I want to do a transmasc read of the pregnancy stuff Roberts did in TF seriously, same as I think a transmasc read of how Alien presents fears around "male pregnancy" in a trans context would be great. And for all my jokes, I genuinely would, actually. I think it's legit very interesting how Roberts manages to divorce the presentation of horror of pregnancy from gender in a way that mitigates the gendered subtext somewhat and gets at the loss of autonomy in a broader sense.

anyway it truly sucks that fandom is so fucking shitty about this. to give a little extra context, i talk about a particular transmasc humanformer AU sometimes that involves pregnancy and. i have had to Delete Some Fucking Asks about that thing, which. well that happens in normal regular real life and people talk about it like a fanfic trope (derogatory). so. i am a little sensitive to people getting Like This about the topic, aha.

sorry i went off on one anon, can you tell. i also find this frustrating. i relate. i am totally with you. god it would be so much less interesting to read it as horny so like, why is this the ONLY MODE we seem to have tbh

[hyacinthoideshispanica]

An idea for a Nessian au.

Nesta is a world-renowned prima ballerina who is being stalked by Tomas Mandray, an abusive ex-boyfriend who's turned obsessive. In her free time, she reads and takes self-defense lessons with her friends Gwyn and Emerie.

One night, she gets home and finds her door kicked in and a very vulgar/threatening note from Tomas beside a bouquet of fresh roses on the table.

For her safety, Rhys and Feyre set her up at their more remote house built into the side of a mountain, and Rhys also hires two of his friends, Cassian and Azriel, to be her bodyguards.

Cassian and Nesta obviously do not get along. Cassian tells her she needs to stop dancing for a bit as it draws too much attention, and Nesta refuses, making them take her to the studio every single day.

"I can't believe she's making us come here every day. Doesn't she realize how dangerous it is? He could be watching her right now!"

"I think it shows how brave she is. I mean, yes, she's scared, but she's also refusing to let him control her life.

"....Fine, I'll admit she's brave for going on with her life as normally as possible, but it's still really stupid that she's making us stand out in the hall like this. How are we supposed to protect her if we can't even see her?"

"Well, what did you expect, Cassian? After you spent the last two classes glaring daggers at Eris and making the entire room feel uncomfortable, I'm surprised she let you come along at all."

"Eris... I don't trust that guy. Don't like the look of him."

"You don't like the look of him, or you don't like the way he looks at her?"

"What's that supposed to mean, Az?"

"He's her dance partner, Cassian. It's perfectly natural that they have a certain level of chemistry, and if we were guarding any other woman, you'd be more than capable of making the distinction between a dance partner and an actual threat. When it comes to Nesta Archeron, you let your personal feelings get in the way and that can be dangerous..."

One night at the house, Cassian can't sleep and goes to the home gym but finds Nesta already there, warming up.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine. You?"

"I'm good, I just couldn't sleep."

"So, what? You figured a workout would help?"

"Well, I usually go for a drive, but I can't leave you."

"I don't need you to babysit me. I don't even know why Rhys hired you, I can take care of myself."

Cassian challenges her to a sparing match to test her self-defense technique, and a whole lot of tension happens. He tells her she has promise, but he can train her to be better.

A few months go by, and Nesta is preparing to dance the lead role in an upcoming performance. Cassian and Azriel are teaching her how to handle weapons, and she and Cassian have also started sleeping together.

The performance is only a day away, and Nesta is in her dressing room when a bouquet of roses gets delivered. There's been no sign of Tomas since he broke into her house months ago, so she thinks the flowers are from Cassian until she sees the note that's attached.

"I can't wait for tomorrow night. Love, Tomas."

She drops the vase, glass and water spilling everywhere, and Cassian and Azriel rush in. They immediately take her back to the house, and Cassian tells her she's not leaving again until they find Tomas. Nesta is furious, the performance is tomorrow, she can't just quit.

"Maybe we should let her dance, Cassian. I mean, if she's there, he will be too. It'd be easier to catch him that way."

"No! There's no way in hell we're using her as bait!"

"I agree with Azriel. I made a commitment to the company-"

"And I made a commitment to keep you safe!"

"I have dedicated my life to dancing, Cassian! I refuse to sacrifice that because of him!

"If you go on that stage tomorrow, you'll be risking your life!"

"And if I don't, I'll be risking my career! My passion!"

"I'd much rather my girlfriend lose her career than her life!"

Nesta stares at him for a moment, stunned that he called her his girlfriend, and then her eyes go cold.

"Let me make something perfectly clear to you, Cassian. I am not your girlfriend. I'm fucking you, I'm not with you. You can't tell me what to do!"

The next night, Nesta takes the stage, and Cassian and Azriel watch from the wings. Nesta hasn't spoken a word to Cassian since the previous night, and he's upset but also can't take his eyes off her. He's completely mesmerized by her. After the performance, Azriel goes to check the perimeter again and give Cassian a chance to talk to Nesta alone, but when Nesta sees him, she turns in the other direction and finds Gwyn and Emerie waiting for her with flowers.

Cassian decides to give her a moment alone with her friends, but Nesta uses that as an opportunity to sneak away. The girls celebrate by stopping by a late night cafe, buying all the cakes and pastries they can carry and driving a few hours away to Emerie's cabin for the weekend.

Cassian and Azriel are losing their minds trying to figure out where Nesta went, but then Cassian gets a text from a blocked number that shows a picture of Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie gagged and bound.

"If you really cared about her like I do, you never would have let her out of your sight."

Tomas followed the girls to Emerie's cabin and is now holding them hostage.

"I wanted to sweep you off your feet directly after your performance, but those two guard dogs got in the way. It all worked out, though, just as I knew it would. We were always meant to be together, Nesta."

Nesta starts cussing him out as best she can with the gag still in place. And Tomas starts laughing.

"Now don't start that up, Nesta. You'll give your friends the wrong impression of us."

He leans down and removes the gag long enough to kiss her, and she bits his lip so bad he starts bleeding. Tomas, completely unconcerned, makes a comment about how he's always loved her fire. Then says he has to go into town for a bit for extra supplies since he didn't plan on he and Nesta entertaining guests so soon.

As soon as he's gone, Gwyn jumps up, free of her restraints. This entire time, she's been slowly working herself free with a knife she always has on hand, and she immediately cuts the other girls loose.

"We have to get out of here."

"How? He took the car and our phones."

"We could walk to the town, but it's two hours away by car and even longer on foot. He'd probably find us before we got anywhere safe."

"My family's owned this cabin my entire life, I feel comfortable enough in the woods that I think we could hide out there for a while."

"OK. The woods, then. We'll be safe there until Cassian can find us."

The girls hide out in the forest for a day or two. In that time, Tomas started hunting them, and Cassian and Azriel have tracked the location from the blocked number so they show up and also take to the woods.

Gwyn hurts her leg, and Tomas is nearby.

"Oh, Nesta! Come on out, sweetheart! You know we're supposed to be together, so stop fighting it!

Nesta realizes they won't get away before he finds them, so she urges Emerie and Gwyn to go without her.

"We're not leaving you alone! That guy's psycho!"

Nesta continues to push them to leave, saying Gwyn needs a doctor and that as long as she's with them, Tomas won't stop.

"It's me he wants. You two go, get to safety. Find Cassian. I'll hold him off in the meantime."

They agree, and Gwyn hands Nesta her small knife before she and Emerie shuffle off into the trees.

Nesta waits in a nearby clearing, knife in hand, waiting for Tomas to show himself.

"I found you."

Meanwhile, Emerie and Gwyn are rushing back to the cabin as fast as they can and run into Azriel and Cassian. They explain where Nesta is in the woods and that Tomas wasn't far behind. Cassian bolts into the trees, and Azriel checks on the girls.

"...it doesn't seem like the bone is broken."

"Great! Now let's go help Nesta."

"You can barely walk."

"You and Emerie will help me. Besides, I don't need a working leg in order to punch that creep right in his creepy face!"

Cassian is running through the trees like his life depends on it, while Nesta stares down Tomas, who is circling around her like a hunting predator.

"If you touch me, I'll castrate you and shove your pathetic excuse for a dick down your throat."

"Oh, Nesta, always teasing. You know you won't do anything to me, sweetheart, you love me too much."

"I don't love you, Tomas. I never did, and I never will!"

Tomas hesitates, his eyes, previously filled with deranged affection, flash with deadly rage.

"And who do you love Nesta? That pathetic guard dog you've been screwing?"

He takes a step towards her, and she raises the knife.

"Take another step, and I will kill you."

Tomas laughs mockingly, "Do you really think that you, a sweet little ballerina, can actually hurt me?"

"Yes. Because my boyfriend taught me well."

Nesta lunges forward and stabs Tomas in the stomach right as Cassian comes bursting through the trees and screams her name.

They run to each other

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine, but Emerie and Gwyn are-"

"We're right here!"

Gwyn comes through the trees a moment later being supported on each side by Azriel and Emerie.

"What are you doing? I told you to run."

"We did run. And then we came back."

Nesta wraps her arms around herself, the shock and stress of everything finally getting to her. Cassian puts an arm around her, drawing her close, and suggests they head back to the cabin. Once their there, the girls shower, eat, and rest, then Azriel drives Gwyn into town to see a doctor. Once they return to the cabin, an ambulance is called for Tomas.

Tomas is sent to the hospital under police supervision, but it's very unlikely he'll survive considering his stab wound was left unattended for a few hours and may be infected due to someone, Emerie and Gwyn, poking it repeatedly with muddy sticks.

Azriel, Emerie, and Gwyn are asleep, but Cassian and Nesta have stayed up and are talking in front of the fire.

"You were incredibly brave today, Nesta. I'm just sorry he ever got that close to you."

"It's not your fault, Cassian. You tried to keep me home, and I wouldn't listen. Then, at the show, I snuck away and-"

"It's not your fault either. No one is to blame but him, and he's never going to bother you ever again. You made sure of that."

"Thank you, by the way, for teaching me how to wield a knife."

"You're welcome.... So, your boyfriend taught you well?"

"Shut up, Cass."

"Make me, Nes."

They kiss.

As always, if anyone wants to use this as a prompt, please feel free. I don't have the talent to write out an actual fic.

[hottakehoulihan]

Someone close to me urged me to watch this Johnny Harris video about Elon Musk, and since I normally filter a lot of politics out of my feed I put it off until I wanted something to listen to while doing some cleaning. But I did it, because said person had watched some thing I'd urged on them, and I pay my debts as best I can.

The video starts out almost sounding like a puff piece, with some explanations of early before-I-despised-him stuff that actually highlight arguably good or nuanced things about not-yet-famous Elon and his accomplishments, and that's actually heartening because it indicates plausibly unbiased investigation and exploration of the subject.

There's no sense in me regurgitating the video, but one note I found interesting, and it's sort of the "punchline" IMHO: For all the talk of "free speech" the amount of things censored by Twitter went WAY up. And a noteworthy example was Turkey getting people who were critical of their president censored despite the request being 100% obvious and clear politically-motivated hushing of criticism instead of anything their own government rules even remotely allow for.

And it was the same thing Twitter had been asked to do before Elon bought them out. And Twitter (which had a right wing bias even before Elon, as platforms typically do) had said no, and Twitter was shut down for a while in Turkey until Turkey's courts finished examining the situation and agreeing that asking to censor those tweets was illegal bullshit.

But Elon's Twitter agreed to censor them.

Elon claimed it was because Twitter would otherwise be shut down there.

Elon did not acknowledge that it was partly because he's got several other economic deals he is motivated to maintain, like his ability to sell Tesla cars and trucks, or satellite services, in Turkey.

If Elon ever really believed in unbiased free speech, he's handcuffed now by his anxiety that if he offends any major national power he'll lose additional ground in those other markets he's got fingers in.

He's got all the "fuck you money" in the world, and he's more of a puppet of the rich and powerful than the original Twitter ever came close to being.

Short-circuiting ethical, ideological, and rational reasoning seems easier when it involves someone losing something they're accustomed to thinking of as theirs, I guess.

Arguably the least ethical man in the spotlight, by his own alleged ideals, when there's almost nobody who could better afford to do great and good things in a great and good way. Because his wealth owns him.

Power corrupts and wealth corrupts and that's not pithy, but it's still amazing to me how he's shackled himself with his own riches and hobbled himself with his own power.

Probably the most common story, and I'm still being surprised by it.

[nebulousjoy]

Sonikal: In this essay I will-

This'll be my deep dive into the rare-pair Sonikal - Sonic the Hedgehog/Tikal the Echidna - that I'll refer to if/whenever people ask me why I ship it and how it even works.

If this ends up getting reblogged, please note that I'll probably refine the text here, making corrections n' whatnot, as time goes on! So be sure to check the original post if you want the most up to date version. Also, do remember that everything in this post is of my own opinions. You can agree or disagree with them, makes no difference to me.

If such a lengthy post for something like a ship seems weird to you, that's fine. I just like talking about said ship, in this instance.

—

Why do I ship Sonikal?

I believe a functionally healthy relationship between them could and would work, with both of their characters remaining as true to their canon depictions (however sparse in terms of Tikal) as possible. Mind you, since Sonic hasn't officially had a romantic interest and has demonstrated an aversion to Amy's affections, one has to use deductive reasoning and context clues within Sonic's character to surmise how he would behave if he were to form romantic affections for someone. With Tikal, the same goes, though doubly so as more effort is necessary due to she hardly being present enough in SA1 for her full personality "range" to be hinted at. Headcanons for bridging gaps / filling in holes are unavoidable.

(I'm aware an element like this is unnecessary in the eyes of many of fandom's typical shippers, but I'm the kind of person who NEEDS plausibility in ships for me to care about them. So, this is important.)

I think their dynamic would be extremely cute and wholesome, for reasons I'll get into when I describe how they would interact with each other.

The gamecanon versions of Sonic and Tikal are the primary focuses here. I don't know enough nor care about the comic versions of either to consider them.

How does Sonikal work?

The pairing is only remotely possible if we choose to deviate from canon, and allow Tikal to exist naturally. In SA1, it's unclear what exactly happens to her or Chaos after the story ends, but it's obvious that they aren't actively around in the world's setting.

There's a few paths one can go to expand upon Tikal's new life, but I like to go with something a little contrived but not theoretically impossible: Tikal gets given her physical body back from the M.E., as Chaos' wrath being quelled means the seal on him has no reason to stay active. It's implied in SA1 that Tikal's physical body is no more as she roams as an orb of light, so with the seal now being void, why wouldn't she get her body back?

This is turn draws the questions of "where would she live?" and "what would she do?". My answers for both of these are...Chao Gardens! Taking care of Chao! It's obvious Tikal grew fond of them in the past, and I don't see any reason why that would fade in modern time. Since the city of her clan has been mostly swallowed up by the earth, crumbling to ruin, she doesn't have a stable place to live. I feel she would turn to Chao Gardens to be her new homes, where she can live peacefully alongside Chao and take care of them.

(It also makes sense for her to live on Angel Island with Knuckles, but to keep things simple, let's go with the Chao Garden idea.)

This scenario is satisfactory to me enough, as where Sonic and his friends themselves live are normally kept vague in the series anyway. Amy and Tails apparently have their own houses in the games, but it's never been explained how they obtained them or if they still have them, so *shrugs*. Suspension of disbelief is basically required for the Sonic world.

SONIC

Being devoted to maintaining and enjoying his freedom is a core aspect of his character. He just simply isn't Sonic if he lacks this trait. This getting sacrificed to make a ship involving him work is a BIG no-no to me. Additionally, the character isn't Sonic if he lacks his canon benevolence and intolerance towards injustice. He cares for the people around him and helps those in need if he comes across them, which has been demonstrated many times in the games at this point.

However, Sonic does not come across as the physically affectionate type in canon. That actually doesn't impact the depth a relationship can have though, as there's MANY ways someone can express affection without kissing and cuddling being predominant. Intimacy has multiple layers with multiple manifestations, and none are greater than the other.

It's always possible to have a relationship work for him where his needs still get met - *without* his partner's needs getting unfulfilled in the process. If Sonic somehow realized this, and met the *right* person, romance isn't out of the realm of possibility for him generally speaking.

TIKAL

It was clearly depicted in SA1 that Tikal is very compassionate. She was very gentle and caring towards the Emerald Shrine's Chao. She tried many times to dissuade her father from his power-hungry, warmongering ways. She stood firm against him when he stormed the Emerald Shrine with a group of warriors, up until she was knocked aside. The societal hierarchies of the Knuckles Clan have never been revealed iirc, but as Pachacamac was the leader of the clan (and had shown he cared about getting what he wanted even at others' expenses), defying him like that most likely had severe consequences. That didn't stop her from trying.

This implies Tikal has a strong will and sense of bravery. She hates injustice and does what she can to stop it. She cares so much about doing what's right, and protecting the world itself, that she choose to seal the rampaging Perfect Chaos away in the M.E. - using her physical body to pay the price. Since chaos energy "turns one's thoughts into power", I see that act as proving Tikal also has a strong sense of conviction, going hand-in-hand with possessing a strong will.

Lastly, from her talks to her father of how greed leads one down a path where they will mindlessly consume more until they likely meet an end of self-destruction, Tikal too has a sense of wisdom. Or, emotional intelligence. However you want to describe it.

Other aspects of her character have to be assembled using headcanons, but frankly, these traits alone hold enough water for the next section.

SONIC & TIKAL TOGETHER

They've interacted canonically, in the tail end of Sonic's story and the last story in SA1. Their moments were fairly standard and naturally revolved around the story, but still! It's neat that they have.

One interesting moment is after Chaos floods Station Square. Tikal beseeches to him that Chaos needs to be sealed again, but Sonic being as intuitive as he is shoots that down, knowing it wouldn't solve the problem of Chaos' anger in the end. This highlights Tikal's desperation in the moment, but also hints at a trait of she tunnel-visioning whenever her composure is lost. Maybe it was just in that moment, maybe it's a habit she has; who can say for sure?

But me bringing up them having met in canon goes into how they could interact if they were to meet up again. Sonic, being the caring guy that he is, would definitely be very keen on speaking to her more in-depth compared to before - seeing how she's been doing and all that.

I also think Sonic would feel genuine curiosity about her. He got glimpses of her life, rather the bad moments in it leading up to her clan's extinction, so I can see him wanting to get to know her better as a friend. Because, Sonic for sure would view her as a friend. He so easily befriends others that it makes sense.

Tikal would respond in kind. She must've formed a strong enough amount of faith in his abilities to have shown him those flashbacks, and it's natural that she would want to know him better too. They'd form a carefree friendship, both sides being cordial with one another.

Their Chemistry

It's their friendship that allows more to develop between them. Assuming Sonic takes a break from his usual globe-trotting to hang out with Tikal in a Chao Garden every now and then, they would spend a fair amount of time talking and relaxing together.

The kicker here is that they do have a notable amount of personality traits in common, and they're the ones most apparent; arguably important. They're both benevolent, dislike injustice, and stay true to what they believe in. Sonic of course harbors a love of life itself, and I do think the same applies to Tikal, as her sacrifice proves she cares deeply about the world and the life in it. She not only opposed her father to protect the emeralds, but to protect the Chao as well.

We've seen Sonic's playful and sassy side plenty, and while Tikal hasn't exactly shown the same sides in canon nor has anything signaled it, I doubt she wouldn't mesh well with it. I can even see Tikal being like Sonic's "hype girl" funnily enough, laughing at his jokes or having a "Oh you're so silly <3" reaction to them. It's even better if Tikal bounced off of Sonic's antics with her own secret playful side, and who knows, maybe she does have one (I like to think so personally). It wouldn't be out of place if she did.

In general, there's nothing about either of them that makes it implausible they'd form chemistry. They could bond over many things.

Their Feelings

I'm not sure who would catch feelings first, and it honestly doesn't matter. Both of them would form an attraction to one another without either realizing it at first, but I do have the hunch that Tikal would more quickly identify that she feels a certain type of way about Sonic, to where calling him a mere friend doesn't feel quite right. She'd hone in on this, while I can see Sonic just going with the flow in regards to his own feelings, not noticing the change in how he feels about her until it gets outright brought up in some manner.

Namely, Tikal could voice her thoughts just to get them into the air; off her chest. Speaking on how much Sonic means a lot to her, and she feels closer to him than she has with anyone else. Whatever time they do spend together fills her with joy. It's reasonable for Sonic to not catch onto the implications and be pleased that she does like being around him, or...his intuition kicks in and he starts to suspect something is there. What exactly, he doesn't know. But still.

That could be the first domino to fall, leading into a chain reaction. Maybe he starts to look at Tikal in a way different from before. Maybe he pays closer attention to how she behaves around him, and whenever Tikal can interact with his other friends, especially see how she is with them. Sonic is smarter than a lot of people give him credit for, and when he gets interested enough in something to pay close attention to it, he'll perceive a lot of things. Maybe Tikal notices this change, and she too starts to subtly "study" him to see what's up.

To hurry along and keep this already long post from getting even longer: eventually a boiling point would be reached. I do like the idea of Sonic being the first to properly touch upon their bond going to a different level. He'd need to have a more serious conversation over it, but once he sees that Tikal is on board, the ship sails.

Their Relationship

Tikal is very understanding. By the point they each learn of the other's feelings, she would know fully well that Sonic does not want to be changed. She would not want him to change anyway. His happiness would be extremely important to her, and he keeping to his love of traveling the planet is what she would want - first and foremost.

Sonic would recognize and greatly appreciate this consideration. A relationship to him had always symbolized he being anchored down and his freedom compromised (Amy and her habits of chasing him and wanting them to get married pinned that in his mind), but Tikal making it clear that's not what she wants would bring him immense relief. And would in turn make him feel like she does truly get him.

In a similar fashion, Tikal would remain committed to her role of nurturing Chao. She has overall less responsibilities to the world compared to Sonic and less of a perpetual wanderlust, but she does not want anything to come between her and what she wants to do. Not that Sonic would DO such a thing, he'll never boss anyone around, but still. They'd be on the same page. None of what they hold dear need to be given up to make things work, and the other's happiness is just as important as their own.

Above all else, they each would want one another to be a permanent part of their world. Nothing more, nothing less. That would remain set in stone, no matter how often they're far apart physically. Because, in the times they are together, it makes them that much more special.

Besides, Sonic would ABSOLUTELY bring Tikal with him during some of his travels. She's been out of commission for the last 3,000+ years after all, she's missed out on a lot! Sonic would be thrilled to help her experience new things in this modern era, be it sightseeing in countries or taking her to scenic places he loves. The girl would be pumped to see the world, and create new memories with Sonic that she can enjoy for the years to come.

This isn't even acknowledging some fanon theories about Tikal being immortal if she were to ever actually return & hang around in modern times, but that can be discussed in a different post.

TLDR: Sonikal works because both Sonic and Tikal can reasonably make the relationship work without sacrificing important parts of their characters, and their relationship would have a nice flair of true significance on top of that. They would have the kind of romance that's not over the top or even that conventional, but still very intimate.

So...yeah. My intentions for writing this weren't to "convince" other people to ship them too, just to shed some light on why I do. Thanks for reading all of this, if you did! 👋🏾