#I think a lot of people just don’t notice it unless they’re in the minority I’m talking about

[stonerhog]

hrmmm

[chronicallycouchbound]

Rating names/terms for Ehlers Danlos Syndrome:

Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome: 10/10 Lawful neutral, it’s the official terminology, lets you know what’s up

EDS (in all caps): 9/10 Sometimes confused with other unrelated conditions and acronyms but usually works

EDs (‘S’ is lowercase): 2/10 Usually refers to erectile dysfunction or eating disorders, which causes a lot of confusion.

Ehlers Danlos: 8/10. Good shorthand while still knowing what’s going on.

Earers Daniel’s Syndrome: 1/10. I have only heard this once, from an ER doctor. He said it to me as he turned away from his screen (which was pulled up to the Web MD page for EDS) and proceeded to mansplain my condition to me inaccurately. At least he tried.

“Eyers Dan—“ *waves hand around*: -5/10 I’ve heard this one a lot from medical professionals. I just know I’m about to be malpracticed and am already planning the quickest way out of the situation.

Zebras: 6/10 I like the imagery, I like mascots, I like the story (when doctors are in med school they’re told “if you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras” but them zebras are missed) however, I have two criticisms: a) more rare conditions are out there, and zebras technically refers to any rare diseases, not just EDS b) I feel sad when I think about how it basically calls EDS the “I was medically malpracticed disease”

EDSers: 8/10 a cute lil shorthand for “people with EDS”. Easier to explain than the zebras thing

hEDS/vEDS/cEDS/including subtypes: 7/10 I like the idea of being able to know what your subtype is and find people in your sub community, HOWEVER my only concern is that it can feel (and used for) invalidating people without a genetically confirmed subtype because of inaccessibility. I haven’t had gene testing because I can’t afford it— but I have clinically diagnosed EDS, which has been confirmed at multiple hospitals by multiple specialists. I score a 9/9 on the Brighton, meet all major criteria, and meet almost every other minor criteria for EDS on top of that. But I don’t know my subtype yet. I don’t hate/dislike people who use this term and I don’t discourage it, but I do encourage mindfulness about genetic testing accessibility and privilege of access.

Bendy disease: 10/10 a silly goofy joke I say with friends “I cannot walk up stairs on account of my loosey goosey bendy disease” which is always funny to me. Even with my serious things like “my life threatening cardiac conditions are rapidly progressing” you add “on account of my bendy disease” and bam theres my coping skill.

Ehlers: 3/10 a step in the right direction, but it sounds like “yellers” and dismisses half of the team that described the condition

“Double jointed”: 1/10 I was told my whole life until I was 18 that I was just “double jointed” for starters, it’s medically inaccurate. You’re hyper extending, subluxing, or even dislocating joints whenever you’re “double jointed” in a joint. There is not two joints there (unless you’ve had x rays and for some reason genuinely do have two joints in that spot). I honestly hate this term and it’s incredibly dismissive of the pain that happens with EDS while also making it seem like a super power that we’re encouraged to do

Contortionist: 1/10 [NOTE!!! some contortionists DO NOT have EDS and can just bend like that. Some have benign joint hypermobility. But many contortionists do have EDS.] In the context of people with EDS, I hate this term. It’s often the first thing people jump to when I explain my condition. They see my crippled ass in my wheelchair/powerchair or limping around with my cane/crutches/rollator, usually in multiple braces/supports (and thats just external noticeable-to-everyone things, let alone if you hear any aspects of my daily life) and their first thought is: “wow!! So you can entertain me like it’s a freak show!” And not “holy shit dozens of dislocations per day and countless subluxations per day must be excruciating”. I did contortions when I was younger to get praise and due to peer pressure. Fuck that noise I will not be your ugly law era freak show creepy cripple p0rn. Fuck everything to do with that actually.

[hollowwrites]

Ominis Headcanons

🔥 This is my dumpster fire of Ominis 🔥

Burn with me.

I’ll refer to MC as Evelyn throughout this cause she’s my ship with Omi. This is basically my notes page. Things my conflict. Who cares? If anything grabs you please ask about it. You guys inspire me for way too much of my stuff 💚

I’m just gonna mix NSFW stuff in with this so 🔞MINORS DNI🔞

~

Fifth Year Ominis is too caught up in Sebastian’s bullshit to notice if he was going too far. He clings to any niceties afforded to him. You need help finding your class? Sure you can hold onto his arm. You’re aching from the Crucio ordeal? You can lean against him and have a nap with him. You become his coping method of losing Anne and Sebastian. He can forgive himself for opening up a little too much…he’s gone through a lot.

Sixth Year Ominis is straight denial. No they’ve always been this close they had to be because of Sebastian. Not that anyone else knows that. You just showed up and you’ve both been inseparable ever since. You’re just very good friends.

Seventh Year Ominis is determined, will stop at nothing until Evelyn is his (See Blindsided for evidence!!!)

Can touch his wand to things to see colour. Found out after he fell into Sebastian one time and jabbed him in the ribs. The Olive green of his waistcoat flashed across his eyes. Only discovered it that late in his life because by the time he’d gotten his wand he’d already become estranged from his family so kept away from them.

Has advanced Proprioception, the sense of knowing where your body is in relation to it parts. It extends to people around him so when he’s sat with his friends he doesn’t always need to have his wand out to know if they’re moving around. His wand extends and enhances it

His favourite subject is Defence Against the Dark Arts. He’s ridiculously good at it. I’ve wrote about good of a duelist I think he is here but I think it extends past that. He’s overheard so much at home he knows how to combat a lot of it. Good knowledge of curse both Unforgivable and otherwise. Probably caused a lot of tension in fifth year between him and Seb. Contributing factor to their iffy relationship because let’s face it they don’t really act like best friends.

Was an UNREAL seeker in third year. Won every match because he could hear the snitch from across the pitch. Imelda banned him after matches ended too quickly. Was completely unbothered, only joined because Seb begged him to

Tallest of the boys but doesn’t look it due to his posture being awful (Seriously why does he slouch so badly) (Does mean when he fully stands up he’s HELLA TALL)

Has little crescent moon shaped scars along his palm from clenching his fists in his sleep.

Really good friends with Garreth. I’ve wrote so much for those two I just can’t help it. He reminds him of Sebastian before his sister was cursed.

Has a really good relationship with Hecat. She told him stories in First Year about Professor Black from back in Hogwarts so he wouldn’t be scared of him telling his parents things. Probably why he’s not scared to talk to him.

Only speaks Parseltongue when he can’t control himself. When he’s angry, or in Pain or…other times 👀

Nicknames

Only uses terms of endearment as an insult. King of the ‘Oh Sweetheart’ in a smarmy way…still kinda hot

I don’t imagine he calls anyone by anything other than their full name. Sebastian is always Sebastian Never Seb.

Except Evelyn, she is everything but her full name. Unless he’s mad at her. Eve, Ev, V, Evie.

He’ll only call her pet names if the time calls for it i.e. I saw someone’s fic where he calls her Hummingbird and I LOOOOVE that (Sorry can’t remember who that was but THANK YOU!)

‘Be honest with me, Little Hummingbird. Your heart is so fast, I know you’re lying’

Liberal use of ‘Good Girl’ in the bedroom but only after they’re comfortable with each other.

‘Be a Good Girl and get on your knees for me’

🔞 NSFW Headcanons 🔞

He’d be the best to lose your virginity to. He would absolutely be tender and sweet. I love Dominis as much as the next gal but he would be so sweet

He’s either planed the whole thing and everything perfect (Undercroft all lit up with candles and blankets and VERY STRONG locking charm on the gate) or it’s the most wonderful spontaneous event (piled up breathless on the floor of the prefects bathroom)

Speaking of one or the other, Ominis is either the sweetest most gentle man on the planet or he is absolutely insatiable ravenous filth.

Likes choking, spanking and biting. Like pulling the little gasps and moans and hisses from her.

FOREPLAY KING he cannot see! You cannot tell me he doesn’t love hearing how worked up she gets until she’s begging for him (Loves begging too)

No guy is good at fingering but…👀 he is. It just touching and fingers THATS HOW HE GETS AROUND ON A DAY TO DAY BASIS HE IS GOOD AT THAT SHIT!!

Hates whenever you have to be quiet. Almost makes it a game to see if he can force her to make a noise.

Other posts where I spout waffle about Ominis here and here and here

Masterlist

[five-rivers]

Shock Advised

AO3

@phantomphangphucker

No one knows when they’re going to die.  Not unless they’re planning it out themselves, and even then there’s a certain degree of uncertainty.  Even then, it’s a surprise when you exhale, and the next inhalation never comes.  

Like most other people, Danny was not expecting to die.  Not that minute, not that hour, not that day, not that week.  Not even that year.  Or decade.  He was young, and, as far as anyone could tell, given the unique features of his biology, healthy.  

If he had known he was going to die, he wouldn’t have been in school.  Dying was worth at least a personal day, in his opinion.  

It happened quietly, too.  No loud noises, no fanfare.  Just… a breath going out, and not coming back in.  

Danny didn’t notice at first. Or at second.  Or even third.  All that had registered to him was that the pain in his chest that had been building up all day had finally stopped and he could focus on his test.  

Then the portal opened in the classroom.  

There was a lot of screaming.  Some swearing.  A few book titles.  It was like they’d never seen a portal to the Ghost Zone before.  

Danny, too, felt like screaming, but that was more because this had interrupted his test.  It was worth a lot of his grade!  A lot of his grade!  And Mr. Lancer said this was the last try on this test!  For everyone!  No exceptions!

A procession of solemn ghosts emerged.  First, the observants.  Then, an assortment of minor princess and princesses, like Dora.  Then, more notable monarchs, like Frostbite and Pandora.  Finally, Clockwork stepped through, a huge, jeweled, casket in his hands.  

“Daniel Ph–”

“Time out,” said Danny, making a T with his hands.  “Time out!”

“It would be inappropriate of me to use my powers in such a setting, Daniel,” said Clockwork, chidingly.  

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.  I mean… I thought you said you wait for this until after I’d died.  For real.”

“Yes,” said Clockwork.  “You have.” 

“I think I’d notice if I… had…  Oh.”  Danny had looked down and had seen, for the first time, his body, slumped back in his chair, his lips going blue.  

Mr. Lancer, apparently, saw it, too, because he vaulted over his desk with athleticism Danny had never seen from him before.  “Manson!  Run to the office and get the AED!  Foley!  Call nine-one-one!  We need an ambulance!”  He wrestled Danny’s body down to the floor.  

“Mr. Lancer,” said Danny, stepping intangibly to the side.  He wound up inside someone else’s desk.  “I don’t think…  I think I’m gone.”  At least, he was gone from his body.  

“Let me try,” said Mr. Lancer.  He looked up at Danny and the other ghosts crowding the room, only able to all fit because they were overlapping one another with intangibility, even as he started chest compressions.  “You’ll let me try, won’t you?”

“As the Observants have told me many times,” said Clockwork, “there is to be no interference with Daniel’s passing.  From our side.”

Mr. Lancer’s face twitched and he paused his compressions, bending to breathe into Danny’s mouth.  And, wow, that was uncomfortable to watch.  

Maybe Danny was in shock, if that was his reaction to seeing CPR performed on himself.  Or, rather, on his lifeless body.  

“Clockwork,” said one of the Observants testily.  “Get on with it.”

Clockwork clicked his tongue.  “Doesn’t the boy deserve some sense of closure?”

“He’s had far more than his fair share of it.  Get on with it.”

“Oh, very well.  You, Daniel, have died.  Again.  In a way that does not allow for do-overs in the form of intense reanimatory ectoplasmic radiation, time travel, cloning, reality warping, or mass retcon.  As such, you are now free to ascend to the throne of the Infinite Realms, or, as they are often known in this locality, the Ghost Zone.”

Danny got the distinct sense that those were not quite the proper words.  It might have been the glares of the Observants that tipped him off.  

“I have the AED!” said Sam, breathlessly, skidding through the door.  

“Give it to me,” said Mr. Lancer.  He flipped it open and pulled out a pair of scissors to cut through Danny’s shirt.  He and Sam started sticking on the little adhesive pads.  

“Sam,” started Danny.  

“Don’t,” said Sam.  “Just don’t.  We’re going to make this work.”

Again, Danny didn’t think so, but he couldn’t just turn away.  That didn’t seem right.  

“No shock advised, continue CPR.”

Mr. Lancer cursed under his breath and resumed compressions.  “Sam, you do the breaths, do you remember how from first aid?”

“Y-yeah.”

“It’s okay,” said Danny.  “I mean, things like this happen.”  He didn’t think it’d happen to him.  He still wasn’t sure what had happened, but, still.  His body functioned in defiance of the laws of physics.  He could use his imagination.  

“Shut up, Danny,” said Tucker.  “Yes, sorry, no, my friend was just being fatalistic.  Yes, the one who’s dying, it’s Amity Park…”

“No shock advised, continue CPR.”

“Really,” said Danny.  “I got a couple extra years.  It’s fine.  It’s… I would have liked more time, but there are worse things, aren’t there?  In the middle of a test is pretty bad, don’t get me wrong, but I could have been dismembered or something.”

Sam laughed wetly.  “Don’t make jokes.”

“Why not?  Might liven up the mood.”

“Oh my god,” said Paulina under her breath.  She was gripping the sides of her desk with white knuckles.  “Oh my god.”

“Your last words to us had better not be a pun,” hissed Sam.

“I think that was a metaphor, actually.  Or a misappropriated idiom.  I know, I know, I’m really killing the English language, he–  Ah!”  Danny winced sharply at the sudden pain in his chest.

“Shock advised.  Stand clear.”

Sam and Mr. Lancer both threw themselves away from Danny, and Sam punched the button on the AED.  

There was light.  

.

“So,” asked Danny, squinting over at the blue-skinned and hooded being sitting in the visitor’s chair next to his hospital bed and reading a brochure titled Kidney Stones and Why You Want To Avoid Collecting Them - A Guide for the Rock-Obsessed Geologist.  “What was that all about, if I wasn’t actually dead?”  His voice was a mess.  They’d only just removed the oxygen tube.  

“You were dead enough,” said Clockwork, folding up the brochure.  “Your heart had stopped.  You weren’t breathing.  Your brain activity was slowing down.  Your classmates were too focused on their tests, your teacher was too focused on his grading.  Underneath your shade, it was not immediately noticeable.  If nothing had drawn their attention to you, no one would have noticed that you were dead until the end of the class.”

“But something did draw attention to me.”

“Yes, indeed,” said Clockwork.  “I did.  Just in time, too, wouldn’t you say so?  Of course, if you had not already been dead, I could not have come to announce your ascendance to the throne.  Ah, such a pity, isn’t it, that we didn’t account for humanity’s renewed interest in the art of necromancy?”

Danny coughed a little.  It wasn’t quite a laugh.  “CPR isn’t necromancy.”

“Isn’t it?”  Clockwork stood up and put the brochure down on Danny’s bedsheet.  The title now read Undeath and You!  Coping With Your Monstrous and Twisted Existence!  “Goodbye, Daniel.”

“Bye, Clockwork.  Clockwork?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

[thatsexcpisces]

Astrology observations Pt. 7

I noticed that men with prominent cancer and Gemini placements or cancer/Gemini sun, Gemini-cancer cusp men are usually always gamers and are really into anime/marvel and always play different video games are interested in that type of nerdy stuff

Many talented or successful athletes have their moon in aries (ex. Lebron James, Tom Brady)

Moon in 6th house people stress over the slightest problems in their health or even minor injuries. People in my family have this placement and if they so much as break their pinky toe and have to wear a boot they complain about it for centuries

Cancer + aries placements in the big 6 = mentally unstable

Why are so many Aquarius men always attracted to pisces women💀 I swear they could be completely different people but there’s just something that draws the 2 of them to each other and it’s usually the aqua male chasing after the pisces. Maybe it’s their caring and sensitive nature they find interesting

Saturn in cancer individuals always have karma on their side when they least expect it. They may feel challenged and unlucky in life but they will always get the upper hand at the most unexpected moment

Men with their sun squaring/opposite their ascendant or men with mars in pisces/cancer tend to act overly cocky and are the type to shit on women when they feel rejected due to their big ego mostly bc of the fact that the masculine planets are influenced by more feminine energy and placements so they’re insecure and uncomfortable since they have defects in their masculinity ( for example, Andrew Tate has his mars in Pisces)

also men with prominent Pisces or libra placements in the big 6 also tend to have a sensitive ego and can’t handle rejection (esp moon)

for example:

*libra stellium or moon male asks you out*

*you reject them in the nicest way possible*

them: “okay fuck you ur ugly asf bitch”

Like? 😭😭

People with many 8th house placements in their chart are usually just interested in hookups and only save their commitment when they truly think they’ve found the right person

Sagittarius, Scorpios, and Capricorn’s always attract each other. I always see sag people being close friends with either other sag or Scorpio or Capricorn people

Pisces are more secretive and private than Scorpios imo it’s they live a secret life sometimes

Chiron/Saturn in 2nd house people may have grown up jealous of or resenting families or people who seemed to have it all or the “perfect life” in terms of money/wealth and they may have grown up in poverty/poor conditions which caused them to feel embarrassed of their background and financial situation

Why are cancer placements esp risings so passive aggressive? Like you can’t expect me to understand your inner thoughts if you don’t EXPRESS YOURSELF💀

Virgo moons always have some sort of IBS or stomach issues atleast one point in their life

Gemini/Sag suns and risings can’t sit still. like they always have to get up to move around after a few minutes or if they’re forced to stay put they fidget, bounce their leg, etc

Leo Venus secretly love when their partner is a little clingy cause they want that attention every now and then (unless influenced by more detached placements in the chart)

Scorpio Venus flirting style = staring at you every few seconds but not approaching

Ik so many Pisces moons who have alcohol addictions or did drugs/smoke a lot. Makes sense tho since the 12th house is also about addictions

Everyone says libra moons are the ones who are more likely to be fruity but imo it’s taurus and cancer moons 👀

Leo moons are the most loyal friends you will ever have. Speaking as Leo moon myself lol but tbh we really are the hype man of our friend group

Having Lilith in your 8th house could mean that you’ve also wanted to express your sexual desires and energy but felt restricted in some way. You’ve always been interested in discussing taboos others might’ve been uncomfortable with but maybe the environment you were in didn’t allow you to experiment with them.

Mutable mercuries tend to laugh in the wrong situations or at awkward/serious times. These people never take anything seriously and they love to make a joke out of everything. They could also have a dirty mind and and space out when anyone is talking to them (Virgo mercuries less than the others tho)

Sagittarius mercuries are so BLUNT it hurts. They won’t even think before saying what they want to say and confront you even if your feelings are gonna get hurt. These people have an attachment to telling the truth

Eating disorders are common in Taurus mars people

If you have Lilith or Medusa harshly aspecting your ascendant, it could mean that people (especially women) hated you for no reason. You enhance a lot of sexual appeal and raw beauty and that would make others jealous and envious of you. People probably also tried to include you in drama you had nothing to do with and gossip/make rumors bc so many people are obsessed with you and your life.

[ifyouknowmenahyoudontt]

I have A LOT to talk about so this is going to be a very long ask!! I’m gonna go topic by topic to make it easier!!

Racism In The Marauders Fandom

I know another anon already mentioned this, but often times people in this fandom headcanon characters as random raves without thinking about how those characters would be as those races. They ignore the overall cultural backgrounds and traditions. They make James Desi and Emmeline Asian but also just completely ignore the cultural and racial backgrounds that they would have as those races.

Also, a big thing I wanna talk about is the racism with fanon Remus:

Werewolves were based around and are metaphors for BIPOC. The fanon version of Remus is a very stereotyped “strong, aggressive alpha male who abuses his boyfriend and is a bitch to everyone”. A very racial stereotype towards many BIPOC. BIPOC are seen as “aggressive” or “abusive” in a lot of cases. Same case for werewolves. And you’re just putting him into those racial stereotypes and acting like it’s all fine because “oh, at least Sirius is getting his ptsd triggered fucked😁”

Ableism In The Marauders Fandom

People complete ignore disabilities in this fandom unless they can use it to sexualize someone. They give Regulus autism, but it’s ALWAYS the stereotyped “oh I’m just a little baby who doesn’t know what sex is😖” autism. It’s always the little baby child who’s too innocent for the world. That’s ableist. No, it’s not “projecting”, it’s ableist.

Also, never paying attention to the absolute PAIN that Remus goes through every month, but using his disability as a way to make him an aggressive top in order to sexualize him? That’s ableist as well.

Sexualization In The Marauders Fandom (Specifically sexualization of minors)

Going back to what I said about Regulus and the autism thing, people always make Regulus a “sweet immature little autistic baby😖” and then make James pound the fuck out of him. Why can’t Regulus be the top? Oh, because he’s a little child? Because he’s your little baby that you have to sexualize?

Why are you making literal minors fuck anyways? Making SIXTEEN YEAR OLDS FUCK? That’s disgusting. “Oh but they already know about sex—“ NOPE, still illegal. “Oh, but I’m a minor as well—“ DOUBLE DISGUSTING AND ILLEGAL!!

Don’t even get me started on this weird ped0 “Professor __ with student __” fics, which are also illegal and disgusting.

Fetishization

Notice how they ALWAYS oversexualize the trans characters or the queer characters or the BIPOC characters or autistic!Regulus? Yeah, that’s cause they’re fetishizing them. “Oh but—“ NOPE!! You’re fetishizing them!!

This fandom needs to wake the fuck up and realize that this type of behavior is absolutely fucking disgusting.

i love it when ppl are smart, thank you for your opinions! very interesting read!

[hallucie]

1st MARS OBSERVATION:

✨Aries Mars✨ Okay, their anger is rational, but they often times over accelerate their force. They can be so calm and collected one moment and the next they’re beating your face in. They have such quick instincts it’s incredible. I notice they only get upset when they feel threatened or they want something to go their way. It’s not that they’re controlling, it’s that they don’t take the time to be persuaded (their instincts just kick in, they take action immediately). So to other people it seems like they’re controlling but really they just don’t have patience. These people NEED daily exercise. They have more energy than the average person.

✨Taurus Mars✨ When they want something they get it. Completely irrational but only when they’re after something. For the most part they’re very passive in the sense where they don’t care for drama so they don’t put themselves in it. Rarely ever having to show their force or assertion, unless there’s something in it for them BUT it has to be something of good value. Taurus Mars stick up for others very sternly but they know people make their own decisions so they’re passive in the way where they put their foot down and if someone crosses that line Taurus Mars just asserts their zero tolerance for bullshit. Taurus Mars have a consistent stamina, once they start going it’s hard for them to stop. Will give the silent treatment to avoid drama, they simply don’t care. They’re so secure within themselves.

✨Gemini Mars✨ Either gives the silent treatment or completely destroys someone with their words, but not in a ruthful way. It’s more of an observation they make & once they have all of the puzzle pieces together they just spit out so much information against the person they’re mad at. It’s like they notice small slights or minor tense moments that someone has towards them, but Gemini Mars are so passive they don’t take offense until they’ve truly had enough. Once they’ve taken enough stabs, then they just UNLOAD everything that’s ever rubbed them the wrong way about the person they’re upset with. The crazy thing is that once the tension has died down, it’s like nothing ever happened. They can go back to having a normal, silly, conversation. I think they do it to avoid conflict. Gemini Mars don’t like being mad. These people have A LOT of energy but it comes in spurts. They rest for a moment then they go, then rest, then go. Their instincts are quick witted and sly, every action has already been thought of and they act on which is best. They also ask other people for their opinions to take into consideration when making their decision to act.

✨Cancer Mars✨ They want to be passive so badly, but they do a bad job at hiding it. They often get mad at people for not having good morals. They’re the type of people to get mad at someone for being openly rude or being a bully. Their argument is being rational about how they feel and/or how it makes others feel— “You did this to me and it hurt my feelings, I’m not going to be around you if you keep this up.” Sometimes this can be seen as sensitive but honestly Cancer Mars are such good friends to have, they look out for the ‘little guy’. Their energy level is consistent, never off beat. They take time to nourish themselves when they’re tired so they can get up and keep going. I notice these people are so clean and tidy.

[bisluthq]

Sorry but taylor absolutely was sloppy drunk towards the end. I'm not judging it like others do, but making your NFL boyfriend drink vodka on camera during the season is not rational and something you do impusively when really drunk.

Problem is most swifties are so defensive that unless she falls over or goes fully wild they don't want to see it, which is why for years the missed that she had a (minor?) problem with alcohol until she spelled it out in her songs, even though the signs were always there. Those who have been around know that Taylor had a complicated relationship with alcohol at least since 2015/2016.

Maybe she has it in control right now and those moments are exceptions, but ruling it out that she might not isn't really possible given her self-admitted history with it.

I mean as I’ve now said repeatedly I don’t want to say “Taylor had/has a problem” because that’s really not for us to say. What we know is Taylor drinks a lot and that’s not a new thing. What we know is historically Taylor’s been really fucking weird about alcohol which suggests a weird relationship with it. What we know is Taylor said Eras was the first tour (at least in a long time like idk about say Fearless) she didn’t “tour like a frat boy” on and she said she cut down drinking for it and I am not gonna say she’s a lying liar who lied about that which tells me if this is her having cut down lol then whatever was going on before was… a lot. I don’t think her music states she has a problem, I think her music states that she drinks a lot and worries about it on occasion which we know not just from the music but from this whole “I cut down” business.

Re this baseball game, I guess I should go look and decide for myself but also like Travis is a big boy too. If he’s being peer pressured into drinking vodka because of her that’s fundamentally his problem not mine or yours or even hers lol like idk lmao that’s really not something anyone except Travis (and maybe Andy) should worry about.

I also think, as I’ve stated repeatedly, that there’s just a cultural thing going on here and I don’t believe Taylor is gonna fix western society’s problem with alcohol. Something I’ve been noticing a lot since I’ve started questioning my relationship with alcohol is the sheer quantities of alcohol related merch in shops. People have written a lot about Mommy Juice culture and how fucked up that is (and it really is) but like I’d argue it’s worse for childfree millennials and Gen Xers because as much as it’s sorta normalized that mommies need wine to mommy, there is also stigma at mommy being out of it. The idea is mommy should be pleasantly tipsy. Childfree women can, and maybe even should, per society, drink a lot. I’ve seen so many tote bags, glasses, bottles, notepads, T-shirts, etc with slogans about like books and cats and wine and gin. And Taylor exists in that same societal milieu. We are repeatedly told that fun women, sophisticated women, interesting women, SUCCESSFUL women, intelligent women fucking DRINK. Taylor won’t fix that as a one woman project and frankly it’s not her job to.

Another thing to note though, and I’ll say this in her defense and with role model discourse in mind, Gen Z (and I think hopefully Gen Alpha) are drinking significantly less statistically than Millennials (I don’t have stats but I have a feeling we’re the worst) or Gen X. I know campus bars are closing, and there’s a vague disinterest from younger people regarding booze. Other mind altering drugs I think not so much lol - my feeling (this I haven’t read but from observation) is Gen Z is replacing booze with weed (in the form of vapes and edibles mostly). I tend to be pro this because weed is demonstrably and statistically less harmful for society lmao. No one kills their spouse because they’re stoned. They might be really fucking annoying but they’re at least not dangerous. Also weed does have mental health benefits and even physical health benefits. Alcohol does not. Alcohol is quite literally poison.

And like lmao I really want to stress that I’m not saying this in a holier than thou way. I’m saying this as someone who has been drinking since I was 15/16, drinking regularly since I was 17/18, and drinking to excess since I was 19/20. I say this as someone who, up until earlier this year, was a daily drinker. I say this as someone whose partner, while he’s also cut down dramatically, is more often than not a daily drinker (but like he really doesn’t drink a lot now - when I say “daily drinker” I mean like he’ll have a beer most days and/or a glass of wine. When I say I was a daily drinker I mean like I had 3-4 glasses of wine more days than not). I also say this as someone who may well drink again. I haven’t taken a vow of abstinence and I haven’t joined AA. I might decide I want a particular drink and shit like I might get over not drinking and go back to daily drinking idk. I’d be surprised if I do that though because I feel SO much better sober.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

[demonskiss]

Im in love with all of the yanderes, Violetta, Blythe, Emory especially ugh all of them can hide me in their basement but I had a minor thought while reading through your posts.

Emory is a surgeon

Violetta is an artist

Truly forgot if Blythe had a major-

But what if all of them met the darling at a college? Like, we're just vibing and meeting these "friendly" people and they just looked at us at some point and went "Yup. This is mine now. Taking you home with me" and they either collaborate together and share information or there's an all out war you don't notice?

Idk man it's brainrot tho- food for thought lol

☕️✨️

the college experience

violetta is portrayed as platonic, emory and blythe are romantic

emory canonically has a degree in economics due to the pressure from their family, but for the sake of this ask… let’s say they’re double majoring in both medicine, and economics. blythe canonically majors in pharmacy, and once violetta graduates from high school, she’ll go into studio art! logically, they’d all attend different colleges… but who cares about logic?

even as a freshman, violetta’s art was displayed around the campus. she holds tutoring sessions for those who want to improve their art, and that includes you! no matter your current skill level, she’ll never once degrade you, and she soon becomes charmed by the way you always come every session, the way your eyes light up when you improve at something or learn something new. the artist is determined to keep you coming back, even holding you after tutoring to draw you. you’re stunning in her eyes.

you find yourself in the nurse’s office one day, greeted by the nursing assistant, emory who simply volunteers there. their melodic voice lulls you into a sense of security, never knowing the true emotions stirring up in the older student in front of you. oh, they love the way that your face burns when they touch your forehead, the way that you’re so reliant on them, it makes them lean into the desires they’ve never felt before. they must have you in their grasp. keep coming back, okay? you need biweekly check ups, don’t worry, they’ll always make time for you.

you met blythe through a house party your friend invited you to, both hiding in a room to get away from the scene. he’s a charmer, always knowing what to say to make you laugh, providing comfort in a setting that you’re not accustomed to. they tell you that they frequent parties a lot, so if you choose to attend another one, don’t be afraid to cling to them! they’ll provide nothing but the upmost hospitality, even if it’s not their home.

you introduce your friends to each other one day, unaware of the tension that you caused by this one fateful encounter. they feign cordiality, but the side eyes they give each other when you’re looking away tells everything about them. blythe and emory have a natural grudge against each other being from the same department, their different ideology about how they should approach their education strikes a lot of disagreements, and of course, passive-aggressive comments. violetta firmly believes the two older students don’t deserve you in any capacity, they’d never treat you right! how will you make time to come to her tutoring sessions if you date one of these stupid stem kids, after all?

in all, it’s an all out war. blythe and emory’s unofficial rivalry for your affection began the second you left their sights, while violetta is slandering their name, feeding you silly rumors she’d never believe just so you can stay away from them! blythe would’ve found the artist cute if she wasn’t so controlling, while emory flat out thinks she’s a nuisance. they’d never get along, unless it’s in front of you of course. they love you too much to make you sad.

perhaps once in a blue moon, they’ll cooperate with each other. especially in the case of your safety. they’ll never get along, but you’re clearly better off in a place where they can guarantee your safety, right?

[kevadai]

Why some people manifest with no effort at all while others need to focus actively in order to get their desires (and others just can’t seem to make anything work)

If you’ve been consuming content about manifestation, LOA, etc. for a while, you’ve probably seen a bunch of aparently contradictory messages.

Some people say that you NEED to saturate your mind with your desire, live in the end all the time, affirm all day, use X or Y method, whatever.

Others affirm that you don’t need to do anything, that you can just write what you want in a paper or set an intention once and poof, it happens. And some people definitely seem to be having good results this way.

According to what I know, you don’t even need to write what you want, you don’t even need to KNOW exactly, consciously, what you want, in order to get it. (Haven’t you ever gotten something even better than what you thought you wanted, in a way that you hadn’t ever imagined consciously? Isn’t it wonderful when that happens?)

But what’s your day to day experience? Maybe you can’t even manifest when you try to work on visualizing or affirming all day! (Don’t worry if you’re there, you’ll get it eventually, you’re fine, and you’ll be fine)

So… who’s right? Or what’s going on?

Well… What it seems to me is that most people just give PARTIAL information when it comes to manifesting, and in a way that’s not completely coherent with the bigger picture. Maybe they’re blind to it, maybe they’ve had X experience and aren’t self-aware enough to understand why they have it, nobody explained it to them either, and so they assume it’s just like that, that there isn’t more depth to it. Maybe they do know the bigger picture but assume that you know it too and will know how to translate their nugget of information. Maybe they are just lazy, or think an incomplete explanation will work better for some reason.

And what is that picture I am talking about?

Well, as far as I know…

You’ve probably heard already some variation of “If you want it it’s already yours” or “What you want is guaranteed to happen”. In theory, that happens instantly in the non-physical. Always, no exception. And it would happen instantly in our physical world (3D) if we aligned with it perfectly at the moment, too. But, most of the time, we are caught in the circumstances that caused us to desire that thing in the first place. So.

“It’s already yours” as in: you already have it in the non-physical, can be manifested at any moment.

“It’s guaranteed to happen” as in: as long as you are not pushing against it, it will happen. You don’t need to chase it nor prove your worth.

The universe loves you, it wants to give you your desires in the 3D too. You could just clear the resistance and it would happen. You don’t NEED to be thinking about it all the time, you can just not think against it.

The problem is: we are not aware of 100% of what we think and a lot of us still have limiting beliefs that are so normal to us that we don’t even notice them. So, quite often, we think we are already resistance free, but we aren’t.

Good news is: you don’t need to be 100% resistance free in order to get what you want. You can compensate resistance with a “proportional” amount of positive focus. I don’t know the exact ratio, if there is one, but basically:

If you have very little resistance, you might need to do some minor focus exercises like setting intentions or living in the end for 10 min a day, or rising your general vibration a bit.

If you have a moderate amount of resistance you might need to affirm all day for a few days, or try to live in the end all the time, stuff like that.

If you have a lot of resistance it’s still not impossible to get it by focusing, but it’s going to take a lot of effort and unwavering attention. Also, it becomes way harder to focus on positive thoughts, visualization, etc. since they are really far from where you are at the moment, unless you have mastered the art of manifesting from any starting point. So most of the time you’ll get frustrated before achieving your desire, which might cause you to doubt yourself more, which adds even more resistance… In this cases I strongly recommend you work first on deconstructing limiting beliefs, go to therapy if you can, make peace with your now so you don’t try to manifest from despair (despair adds a huge amount of resistance, if you’re not confident in your manifesting skills it’s going to be fucking hard. You’ll likely just force it and end up feeling even worse).

So basically, the less resistance you already have towards a desire, the less deliberate work you need to do. To the point where it can even happen before your conscious mind identifies exactly what you want.

Those who manifest without doing practically anything are those who usually have very little resistance in general or a huge confidence in their manifesting skills (which allows them to manifest even when they have a bit of resistance. They just remind themselves that they are fucking great at manifesting and the resistance disappears, so they get what they want really fucking fast). They have learned to expect success, it’s natural for them at this point.

Those who say you NEED to affirm all day, live in the end X minutes/hours a day or whatever are people who have little, moderate or even a lot of resistance but have learned to work around it/compensate for it with methods.

And those who feel like nothing works… Are people with moderate to huge amounts of resistance who are either not being consistent enough or just not focusing on the approach that would lend better results at the moment, so they get burn out before they achieve what they want. Really, I know working on self-love, limiting beliefs, making peace with the now, etc. feels like it’s going to be too slow, but it’s actually way faster and it feels way better than being stuck forever trying something that’s not working. Also, if you can’t manage to be consistent… it might be a sign that you’re aiming for something that’s too far from where you are right now. Maybe aim for something closer first and see how it goes. Try to shift your outlook on life slowly but steadily to a more positive one. It works wonders, and it’s less frustrating. You can always try the other methods again once you’re in a better place.

Basically what I’m trying to say is: the amount of work you’ll need to do, and what kind of techniques will help you the most, will vary depending on where you are right now. Some people give manifesting advice without having this in mind. Be honest with yourself and pay attention to how you feel in order to identify what’s serving you and when you need to just persist or to try a different approach.

Did that help clarify anything? Is there something you’d like to add? Something you would explain better? Something I missed? Let me know what you think!

Also, I’m thinking next time I’ll probably write about adapting affirmations to your current feelings/beliefs, since the most positive affs often feel too forced when you’re in a dark place, and insisting on them can be counterproductive. Let me know if you’d like examples for a particular topic.

Have a nice day!

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hii! ♥️ Could I have a matchup for AoT, BSD, & Demon Slayer? Thank you!

Rion (They/Them). I’m a demiromantic omni with a nonbinary & male lean! — (So preferably neu/masc unless you feel like one character that happens to be fem really fits!) — I am polyamorous but it’s not necessary for a relationship. My sexual attraction to others fluctuates in severity. I am an ENTP 1w2 Virgo. I have a naturally red shaggy mullet that I usually put into a ponytail. I’m 5’1.5” / 156cm & midsized with thick thighs. I have freckles spaced out across my body. My eyes are grey-blue-green hazel. I have a multitude of scars on my arms & legs.

I’m generally quiet person unless with friends. I laugh like a hyena. I can come across as intimidating and apathetic to people who don’t know me. I’m very open minded. I can be very stubborn & determined. I can be too independent to the point where I begin isolating. I have a dry & sarcastic sense of humour - I’m often called a smartass. I would do anything for the people close to me but I’m quick to tell someone off if they’re unnecessarily disrespectful. I struggle with showing affection & letting my guard down. I easily upset more sensitive people even though I don’t mean to 😭. I used to be pretty cruel & manipulative in my younger years which hurt a lot of people. I’ve done my best to make amends and grow as a person.

I love to dance, draw, listen to music, and organise. My favourite colour is gold, my favourite animals are snakes & owls, and my favourite food is chicken lo mein. I love learning about psychology, law, & genetics. I have a tendency for morbid interests. I struggle with sensory issues & emotional empathy.

I’d prefer older/non-minor characters, please! ^^

Hi Rion! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while. I hope you like your matchups!

In Attack on Titan, I match you with...

Levi loves that you're quiet! Please, he already has to deal with everyone in the 104th (as well as Hange) so being around someone who's mostly quiet is such a relief.

People often can't believe you two are a couple. Neither of you are great at showing affection so it takes a while before they realize you two are together.

You can help each other out with emotional empathy. You might pick up on things Levi misses and Levi's also slowly getting better at understanding people.

Levi's not a super sensitive person so nothing you say will really offed him.

Understands your interest in more morbid things. It's no so much that he likes that stuff as well but he's surrounded by that sort of thing a lot so he won't be weirded out by your interests.

Levi appreciates that you are trying to become a better person. He's got a pretty shady past so he knows how hard it can be to change yourself . He's proud of the effort you've put in.

In Bungo Stray Dogs, I match you with...

Kunikida is another one who won't really get offended by anything you say. If he thinks you make a valid point (whether you intend it that way or not) he'll make a note in his book.

Like Levi, Kunikida's not great at showing his emotions. But please never doubt that he cares about you. If he ever notices that you're questioning his affection, he'll take you out to your favourite restaurant and treating you to your favourite meal.

One he other hand, Kunikida will never doubt that you care about him. He's confident that you wouldn't be with him if you didn't care about him.

Doesn't really get your interest in morbid things. But he won't make fun of you or think you're strange for having those interests. He appreciates that everyone has their own interests.

Kunikida loves that you're more on the quiet side. He already deals with Dazai, Atsushi, and the rest of the Armed Detective Agency all day. He appreciates the peace and quiet when you're around.

In Demon Slayer, I match you with...

Rengoku is the extrovert to your more introverted nature. He's emotionally connected so he can help you out with showing your emotions more.

Will probably just laugh off anything you say that most people would be offended by. He's confident in himself so nothing you say will really affect him.

Super affectionate. No one doubts that you two are together even though sometimes people ask you whether you're aware you're in a relationship since you don't publicly reciprocate his affection.

Whenever people ask that, Rengoku will always defend you. He knows you care about him and he won't let anyone talk to you that way.

Likes running his fingers over your scars (as long as your comfortable with that). He finds it relaxing and it's his way of showing that he loves everything about you.

[eddiezpaghetti]

Okay, I’ve noticed a little bit of a pattern I kind of want to talk about. (Bit of a long-winded observation under the cut.)

So I’m new to the Stranger Things fandom. I watched, like, a season and four episodes during the quarantine of 2020, decided it wasn’t really for me, and got pulled back in this year because of Eddie. (I, too, am a gay, nerdy, metalhead loser with a shitty life.)

Eddie was my entry point, and now I like the show as a whole. And I’m very much on the “Byler is going to be canon” train. Like, I’m not even nervous about it and kind of laugh when I see people overcompensating by looking way too deep into nitty gritty details like the triangle on Mike’s shirt. Why are we looking at set design when the story says everything we need to know, right? It’s pretty fucking obvious that’s where the story’s going.

Point is, I’ve spent about as much time looking at Byler stuff as I have looking at Steddie stuff. And I’ve noticed this weird fuckin’ phenomenon that I’ve never seen in any other fandom. And that’s a one-sided ship war.

Sure, I’ve seen a couple of Steddies make some general statements that indirectly hit Byler, like...shall we say the uninformed nonsensically saying that shipping Steddie is more moral than shipping any of the younger characters despite the fact that minors have kissed canonically in the show. Like, yeah, teenagers have crushes. Teenagers get into relationships. Steve and Nancy had a goddamn sex scene when they were still teenagers. If you’re someone who thinks that having an opinion on which teenage characters make the cutest couples makes a person a creep, you need to sit down.

But those Steddies are few and far between. Most of the Steddies I’ve seen love Byler.

And yet, it seems like every other Byler blog I check out is super defensive when it comes to Steddie. And I can’t figure out why. I’ve seen people say things like “Don’t pay any attention to that ask. The person who said it ships Steddie.” I’ve seen memes attacking Steddie shippers because Steddie isn’t canon-compliant enough. I’ve seen so many people outright attack Eddie’s popularity, or pitting him against other characters they like more.

Like... I understand the Mileven-Byler rivalry. I understand the Steddie-HellCheer rivalry. Those ships align with my understanding of ship wars. They’re mutually exclusive unless you like poly ships. That makes sense to me.

I don’t understand the pattern I’ve seen from Byler shippers being angry that Steddie shippers...exist, though. Like, you gotta know we love you guys and your ship, right? I’ve got, like, a sizeable chunk of Byler scenes in my ongoing Steddie fic. I’m just trying to figure out what the anger is about.

Is it that Steddie has the highest number of fics on AO3? Like, is it a numbers game? Is it because Steddie fans like Byler enough that they keep putting it in their Steddie fics and the Byler tag has too many Steddie fics with Byler as a side ship and you feel like they’re encroaching on your territory? Is it just because it’s not canon and it’s a superiority thing because Byler is going to be canon?

Of course, it’s not all Byler shippers, and once again, I’m not saying all Steddie shippers are entirely innocent. It’s just a pattern I’ve observed. Hell, maybe I’ve just been unlucky and I’ve just happened to run into a lot of argumentative Byler shippers. I’m just one person. Part of the scientific method is being able to repeat something and, well, if I get a bunch of replies on this going “What the hell are you talking about?” I’ll know it’s just a coincidence.

But I’m just trying to find out why we’re not friends. Feels like we should be friends.

[ava-of-shenanigans]

reminds me of the story where Moon Knight lore Khonsu and his Moon Knight fights Nyarlathotep and his group of bigoted cultists I had but never wrote it.

What was your Nyarlohotep fought Egyptian Gods story about?

Oh, that sounds really cool! /genuine

Uh basically the idea for the thing about Egyptian gods fighting Nyarlathotep is that long long ago in the before times, Lovecraft’s Other Gods tried to do that thing where they wipe out all life on Earth so they can reclaim their rule over it, but the Egyptian gods fought against them. Nyarlathotep planned to use Apophis to first eat Ra so the Egyptian gods would stop being a problem, and then to eat everything else to achieve that whole “destroying all on earth” thing; he went around Egypt trying to get minor gods to sign the Book of Azathoth so they’d be forced to help, and when they refused he’d just brainwash all their worshippers into his cult so they’d be forced to help him. The Egyptian gods defeated him, but uh oh, now it’s the 1920s, Ancient Egypt has fallen, the Egyptian gods are all scattered and most of them don’t know where any of the others are, no one believes in them anymore and Nyarlathotep is back! Hooray!

A lot of the story hinges on the idea that gods have to be imagined by someone in order to exist. The Egyptian gods came from the minds of people from a certain culture, so they can be understood by humans, and a lot of their meaning as beings comes from their relationship to humanity. When that culture goes away, like Ancient Egypt did, they lose their meaning. But because they were envisioned as a immortal, they cannot die (unless someone tries really really hard to kill them), so they have to go on living meaningless lives until the end of time. The Other Gods came from the mind of Azathoth, so they are incomprehensible to humans and barely even notice they exist. That means they can’t become meaningless, but they’re like Azathoth and don’t really have minds, so the decisions they make are very random and asinine. Except for Nyarlathotep, who is capable of thought but is tied to the will of the Other Gods, so he can’t control what he does. He doesn’t have free will but he does have enough sentience and sapience to be extremely bitter about not having it. If an Egyptian god signs the Book of Azathoth, they become tied to Azathoth and not humanity, but they also become like Nyarlathotep with his whole “sentience but no free will” situation.

In summary, I’ve done that thing again where I try to write cosmic horror, but I’m a very character focused story teller so it’s ended up more like… cosmic existential crisis. Cosmic tragedy. Cosmic despair. Everyone is miserable, there’s no meaning in anything, and death is not an option. Also, sometimes there are cats!

In terms of my writing this is like… it’s on the pile. I’ll get to it eventually. I think I’m definitely going to write this, because of how strong many of my ideas for a bunch of different aspects of it are—I find that’s a sign that I do have something there—but I have other projects to get to first, and a lot of the concepts need more time to develop. I also want to finish learning Middle Egyptian before I start writing it, so I can write the god’s dialogue in Egyptian first, then translate it into English. That way people will think I’m really good at copying the writing style of ancient papyrus translations when actually I’m just cheating. I am thinking of like, writing out one very specific part of the plot as a trial run to see how I feel about the story concepts so far, but I don’t want to say too much because that part is actually kind of a major turning point in the story so I might decide to go with another part instead. 

Oh also there’s a bit where the Egyptian gods go to America and one of the first things that happens there is that Wilbur Whateley tries to shoot Anubis.

[articbleu]

Hey there!  🌟

Extremely minor headsup, I don't think anyone will notice unless they're trying to buy something using an old link, but I recently edited my Storeenvy to have the "-eu" spelling of my handle instead of the "ue" as it was the last website I use/promote that had that spelling.

I was hemming and hawing over it bc I did want to change it for a while but I had a lot of my business cards in circulation for a time and I had a lot of clickthrus from people wanting my pins from elsewhere on the internet that I’m not aware of so I was waiting for traffic to die down before I made the old url defunct.

The site's still there, it's just "http://articbleu.storenvy.com" now instead of "articblue" so it can match my other websites.

Anyway that’s all, take care everyone! 🌠

[daze-but-thirsty]

Hi Daze,

Idk, I saw you have this issue as well so I kind of wanted to vent to someone I think could understand? I have two writing blogs, separated by fandom, and generally I don’t write a lot of NSFT things on there — one is even entirely free of explicit content right now, but I still don’t really like minors interacting with my posts or sending requests. I usually go through profiles to see if I have to block or not and one thing that has me rolling my eyes and makes me suspicious is when blogs have a specific age range on their blogs.

For example, I softblocked a blog that said that their blog was for people “around their age” so if people were “under the age of 13 or over the age of 21” to DNI, and it baffles me bc that’s a huuuuge age range including both minor and legal adult age ranges. When I sat there I was honestly like: why would anyone include such an age range on their blog unless they’re a minor and are using the excuse of a range which includes 21 as “around their age” to pass for a legal adult so they can read smut? If that makes sense? And anyone who claims to be of legal age but who put an age cap of like idk 26+ or something also makes me suspicious because essentially every adult writer I know only cares about people who are UNDERAGE, but if they’re legal adults they don’t care if they’re only barely 18 or over 32.

These are just my red flags sfnkjfn I block literally anyone who has that on their blogs.

No believe me, I understand you so well 😭  I´ve been noticing it way more since I´ve become a bit more active on this nsfw blog and even posted my first Shu nsfw work on here, but people REALLY don´t care about a writer´s boundaries and it just makes me sad.

I don´t put “minors and ageless blogs DNI” on my post for nothing but people just don´t care 😭 

But yeah those age ranges always have me super suspicious because no actual adult would want to be seen as a teenager on here so they would never put a wide age range like that. Honestly if you´re putting an age range I´m always just going to assume that your actual age is the lowest in the range.

Like you say you´re 16-22 years old? You´re 16. Like why would you want people to think you´re 16 when you´re actually 22 years old?? It makes absolutely no sense and as an adult myself I wouldn´t want to be mistaken for a teen either so yeah, you´re just going to get blocked

What also always makes me suspicious if someone puts “minors dni” on their blog and then they say that only 17+ are allowed. And I´m just like... why 17? 🤨  Why stop there? Isn´t 18 most often considered the age that you are an adult? Why not go for that?

It just makes me believe that whoever wrote that is 17 themselves but still want to sound like an adult so they can read smut pieces when we don´t want them to

Things have just gotten way more annoying if you want to post nsft stuff. I just block anyone that strikes me as suspicious in any way

[talenlee]

Story Pile: Big Trouble In Little China

Big Trouble in Little China is one of those movies that guys like me have opinions on, in the same vein as Knives Out and I want to make sure that whatever I’m doing here I’m not being boring. This is complicated by the way that this movie is appealing to guys like me by being a really fun action movie with sweet special effects and quotable lines and magnetic personalities and action scenes and a few brutal deaths while also being made by people with a lot of thought in their head. The result is a movie that yes, is a wonderful brainless action setpiece where you see a seven foot tall demon ghost get hit by a truck, but also a fascinating piece of Asian-American cinema, complete in how it blends together all forms of ‘Asianness’ to an American perspective.

I’m doing it, aren’t I.

I don’t intend to spoiler much about this movie. There’s some talk about the kind of movie it is and its broad general forms but I’m not going to give away how it ends or what happens in any specific way unless you imagine looking at the poster this is somehow all going to be about negotiations. There’s one minor detail but it’s not going to change much if you know it ahead of time that someone gets captured. Also, content warning, this movie is dated! This movie is a 1986 movie focusing on Asian-American actors, and as good as it is at avoiding some specific storytelling beats it’s still a work that if we tried to make it today, we’d make differently and with a greater priority on the ways people are and behave.

There’s also a scene where a dude gets so mad he explodes.

Alright, the story in summary. Well, without telling you how it ends, Big Trouble in Little China tells the story of Jack Burton, a long haul trucker who uses a CB Radio to truly be one of history’s first great posters. He is a lantern jawed bemulleted muscled up slab of lunk who fancies himself the main character of a story that he lives every god damn day. While visiting a friend on his route, there’s a conversation about owing money and then he’s abruptly ensnared in a kidnapping that turns into a criminal gang war and then the demigods who throw lightning around show up and he watches a bunch of people get murdered in the street.

What follows from there is a classic story about a girl getting kidnapped and a guy rescuing her except the guy is Jack’s bestie and Jack spends multiple parts of the story struggling to keep up. And I mean really struggling, at one point he knocks himself out and misses most of a major fight. Don’t worry, we get to see those fights, they’re cool as hell, just, y’know, Jack is on his face for them.

In the end, heroes win, villains lose, the how and why are all pretty predictable but very fun. This John Carpenter dude can make the heck out of a movie, I’m thinking.

Now with that out of the way I want to address what I would consider the ‘most obvious’ piece of critical observation. Big Trouble In Little China is a movie that is deliberately playing with the audience expectations and the type of movie it is. The kind of movie Big Trouble In Little China looks like is a well-established, well-known genre. That genre can be said most agnostically to be a movie where a character arrives in a new location and his presence and extremely different way of doing things breaks up and changes a status quo to save the day, but you might notice that very neutral way of describing it skirts around some pretty loaded words.

Stated more directly, movies in this genre are about some nonwhite cultural space where a white guy arrives and experiences it for the first time, then fixes the problem they have without any kind of specialised knowledge or expertise. Bonus if it’s a group of people dealing with something really complicated or difficult and to him it was solved by being better at their culture than they are. This is sometimes summarised as the ‘mighty whitey’ narrative, which is a great way to make fun of the simplified story, which is a good thing to do because this kind of story sucks real bad and is racist in a way that’s sometimes hard to properly explicate. How wet is a fish, you know?

Big Trouble In Little China is aware of this trope, and, as deliberately as it can be in the context, resists its framing. The way Big Trouble In Little China is discussed, normally, is to point this out. Hey, get a load of this, did you notice that Jack Burton is not positioned as the protagonist of this movie, but rather he’s the sidekick of the main character? And that’s true and it’s cool but it’s also not something I feel like I get to bring to the table because it’s not only a known thing but it’s so well known I knew about it before I ever watched this movie.

Instead what came up to me is the way this movie handles most of its identities.

In Big Trouble In Little China pretty much nobody is who they think they are. The easiest example is that Jack Burton is playing John Wayne without realising he’s actually Shortround. And I mean that Jack Burton is playing John Wayne. It’s not that Kurt Russell is playing John Wayne; he’s playing a guy whose whole template for How To Be is trying to impersonate John Wayne. What makes that especially interesting to me is that he’s doing the affect without all of its character. Wayne has an accent, but he also has a delivery.

In The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, John Wayne says the word ‘pilgrim’ a lot – 25 times. It’s basically a pronoun for him. If you listen to it, it’s got a good template for how Wayne delivers words; he holds the M and concludes it with a sort of ‘uh’ sound at the end. Even when he’s not drawling it, even speaking it quickly, that’s part of his delivery. Burton doesn’t have the accent, but he does the same thing, holding the tail of words and dipping them up again. It’s a really interesting choice because however it was intended it makes me think that Jack Burton is a guy who watched a lot of John Wayne growing up and uses that as a template for what he thinks the kind of man he is should be.

Thing is, Margo is in a similar boat to Jack. She doesn’t know the kind of story she’s in. To her, she’s in an intrepid plucky reporter story, something in the vein of an Inspector Gadget or Nancy Drew narrative, where whatever is happening out there, over there, her job is to get the information, which will solve things. Knowing what’s going on, putting what’s going on into the record will sort everything out because that’s the power of the free press. In her introduction, a character is mentioned and she immediately demonstrates Stuff She Knows. It gets her an equally abrupt ‘who the hell are you?’ kind of reaction.

David Lo Pan’s scheme relies on being able to find an appropriate bride, but his assumptions about what makes an appropriate bride (a Chinese lady with green eyes) meant he spent a thousand years rolling some very big genetic dice and only finally got his number in the 1980s. But that assumption of an appropriate bride failed to account for, y’know, the vast number of people in a population more likely to have green eyes, until it was explicitly put in front of him. Again: assumptions about identity, about what ‘counts’ as who you are.

It’s honestly a really clever series of moves the movie makes. You start in a truck, implying that it’s going to be a movie about travel. Then you get stuck, then you see a mob movie break out, then it becomes Mortal Kombat before there was Mortal Kombat, and then it becomes a ghost story and suddenly it’s Indiana Jones in Just Below San Francisco. The movie repeatedly uses the way you assume things are supposed to work to set up a scene and then doesn’t do the scene you assumed it might, while also looking like the scene should really once you know how it goes.

Consider Eddie Lee. This dude is a maitre’d at Wang Chi’s restaurant. He’s in a suit, he’s not interested in getting involved in the fights, and he warns Jack about getting involved. When Wang Chi and Eddie Lee go to deal with the baddies, though, Eddie stands side by side with his friend and fights with him. Everything in the story up to that point sets him up to be a joke or a loser, or if we’re going to see him fight it’ll be revealing of something special. Then the movie shows that not only is it not special it’s unremarkably good. Eddie Lee’s identity is presented to you one obvious way, and then you’re shown that your assumptions about the obvious aren’t true.

Big Trouble In Little China sustains itself through these kind of violations of your assumptions and it doesn’t make a big fuss of it. It’s there when you look back on the whole narrative, but throughout it there’s this constant thread of asking you what you assume about the characters you’re seeing and what they’re doing.

What I’m saying is that Jack Burton is a trans dude. The signs are all there, right?

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!