#I think I've got enough gender now that I don't need the hair

[neverendingford]

.

[cinnamorollcrybaby]

satosugu x reader smut ?! college au (like ur SCRUMPTIOUS nanami fic!!)

also, are there any genres (or kinks / fetishes) u are uncomfortable with? aside from the obvious weird ones...

💞

Suck and Blow

Tags: Satosugu x Reader, college au, nsfw, mdni, mmf, switch sub leaning Satoru and switch dom leaning Suguru, can’t express this enough they FUCK.

Synopsis: While playing a good old college game of suck and blow, you’ve seemingly captured the attention of both Satoru and Suguru

An: Hmm, aside from the grotesque ones (age play, race play, piss/scat kink, etc.), i don’t think i have any hard boundaries. i try to be pretty flexible with my writing. i think one thing i would probably not be motivated to write would be ass play in a heterosexual relationship. nothing wrong w it! just not my cup of tea, and i’d find it hard to write. So sorry, this was kinda rushed near the end, but I needed to get it out before monstertober. Hope you enjoy!

"Hey Satoru?" Suguru's soothing voice cooed to his long-term boyfriend. Well, basically his boyfriend. They never officially put a term on their relationship, but fucking each other raw on a nightly basis is basically being boyfriends right? If you were to ask Satoru, he'd say Suguru is his husband, and they're basically married by common law.

Satoru was lounging in a recliner in the common area of the frat house. He was pressing buttons on a small handheld gaming device as he concentrated on it. "Yeah?" He responded.

"Can I talk to you about something?" Suguru asked as he walked into common area. He crossed his arms over his chest as he looked down at the white-haired male.

"Oh, you're serious." Satoru mused as he looked up at the brunette. He quickly shut off the gaming device and tossed it to the side. "C'mere." He hummed as he patted his lap for Suguru to sit down.

Geto's lips curled into a smile, and he rolled his eyes at Satoru's request. "What?" Satoru asks with a small pout as he looked up at the brunette.

Suguru takes a seat on the couch, and his hands pat on his lap. "You c'mere." He mocks. Satoru's pout immediately melts, and he hops up out of the recliner.

"You don't have to tell me twice." He hums with a smile as he sits at on his boyfriend's lap, wrapping his legs around the larger one's waist. "What is it, Sugu?"

"I was wondering about something." Geto says calmly as his fingers come up and gently card through Satoru's fluffy hair. His boyfriend leans into his touch like a needy kitten.

"Go on. You're like edging me here." Satoru laughs as he flutters his eyes shut. His long white eyelashes batting closed.

"You normally like it." Suguru smugly comments, earning a pinch from Satoru. "Okay, okay... I was just wondering... Have you thought about fucking a girl?"

Satoru's eyes immediately open as he furrows his eyebrows in utter shock and confusion. He did not know that was where Geto was going with this.

"What...? Are you saying you're straight because you take an awfully large amount of dick to be str-"

"That's not what I'm saying you idiot. I was wondering if you ever just... thought about fucking a girl? It's okay if not."

The white-haired male pondered his boyfriend's question for a minute. Had Satoru thought about it? Sure. He was a man who would really fuck whatever gender as long as he thought they were attractive and if they had a good enough personality. Is that something he should tell his boyfriend though?

"Is this a trick question? Are you going to be mad if I say yes?" He reluctantly asks, still unsure of what Geto was trying to get at here.

"I'm not going to be mad, Satoru. I asked for a reason, just please answer." Suguru reassures as he continued to play with his boyfriend's hair.

"I mean... yeah, I've thought about it, but I would never do that to you."

"Have you thought about.. fucking a girl with me?"

It was straight up embarrassing how fast Satoru got hard at the thought.

"No, I haven't... but now that you mention it, I don't think I'll ever be able to get that thought out of my head."

"I think we should do it." Suguru casually mentions as he looks into his boyfriend's eyes. "I think it'd be fun."

"How do we find someone to do that with though? I don't think I want it to be just anybody, but I don't want any of our friends to see us like that either."

*** *** ***

The frat house was filled with people. Alcoholic beverages were at every turn. A group of misfits in the corner were packing a bowl. The guys had pushes all of the common room furniture to the walls, making an open space in the living room.

Satoru was sat on the floor between Suguru's legs. The brunette was sharing a cigarette with Shoko as he lazily petted Satoru's head. The white-haired male was looking through the crowd. He was on a mission tonight.

Ever since Suguru brought up sharing a girl between them, Satoru hadn't been able to shake the thought out of his mind. All of it sounded so exciting to him, being able to have the best of both worlds? He felt like a horny teenager all over again. When Geto wasn't tending to him, he was jerking off to the sheer thought of sharing a girl with him.

Suguru was much more tamed in his desires, though he still thought about it often. He had a wet dream of him and Satoru sharing a girl one night, and that was what started this entire mess. He had never woken up to a pool of pre-cum like he did that morning after the dream.

"So anyways, that's why I want to die." Shoko finishes up her story of why she has the worst roommate ever. Geto was halfway listening, but he was mostly just bumming cigarettes of Shoko. He didn't get to smoke often, since Satoru always whined about the taste, but he indulged during parties.

As he nodded and took another drag, a figure caught his eye. He looked over towards the sea of people in the kitchen, and he saw you quietly socializing with a group of people.

You were breathtaking, and you absolutely did not go to their college.

"Shoko, who's that?" Suguru asks calmly before nodding his head towards you.

"Oh, I think that's one of Ino's friends." She answers as she sits up. "I think Ino mentioned that she recently just transferred here."

"How is Ino friends with her?" Geto immediately asks as his face twists in confusion. Ino wasn't necessarily a bad guy: looks or personality wise, but he just couldn't see a girl like you hanging out with a guy like Ino.

"Beats me." Shoko shrugs uninterestingly as she leans her head back against the couch.

Suguru gently nudged his boyfriend as he was still sat between his legs. "Look towards the kitchen." He murmurs softly.

Satoru immediately glances over towards the kitchen, making his gaze seem casual. However, once his eyes lock onto you, he immediately knows why Suguru told him to look in the kitchen.

"Her." Satoru decides. "We could share her."

*** *** ***

Why would Ino invite you to a party then not show up? Now, you're stuck awkwardly talking with his other friends about shit you don't even care about.

Transferring to a new college right at the cutoff date was the worst idea you've had in all your life. For one, you were dreadfully behind in all your classes. For two, you had no idea who anyone was besides Ino. For three, all of the good dorms had been taken, so you were stuck living in the shitty one with a leak.

Honestly, coming to this party was the second worst idea. You should be in your leaky dorm catching up on the mountain of homework piled up. You only showed up to this damn party because Ino invited you, trying to be a good friend and introduce you to people.

You set down the alcoholic beverage you had been sipping on casually for the last hour, and you decide that you're going to just go home and pretend like this didn't happen.

As you reach towards the door, you notice a tall figure step in front of you. He leans his arm above the doorframe, and he looks down at you.

"Leaving so soon?" The white-haired male spoke in a pouty tone, but he had a smirk on his face.

"Oh- um, yeah... I have homework to do." You answer awkwardly as you stare up at him. His bright blue eyes were pretty but almost eerily so. It was giving uncanny.

"It can wait just a couple more hours, can't it? The party's only just begun." He coerces as his hand slowly drops from the top of the door frame down towards you. "I'm Satoru by the way. I don't recognize you."

"I just transferred here." You quietly admit as you take his hand and tell him your name.

"This late in the semester? Sounds pretty foolish to go through all the trouble."

"You're telling me." You respond as you look towards the door again. You really should go back to your dorm and catch up with homework.

"Satoru, you're crowding her." A calm voice spoke as he approached as well. He had long dark hair and a kind, trusting smile. He was also just as tall as Satoru. "I'm sorry about him. He gets a bit excited." The calmer male explained as he placed a hand on Satoru's shoulder.

"He's alright.. I was just leaving anyways..." You respond as you move toward the door. The dark haired male gently grabbed your wrist.

"Hey- I think I recognize you from somewhere." He says as he slightly leans in as if he's inspecting your face.

"No Suguru, you got it wrong. She's a transfer." Satoru says as he also leans in with Suguru, propping himself up on the dark-haired male's shoulder. They were both leaning in closely to your personal space.

"A transfer, hm? I'm sure that's not been easy. You deserve to let loose a little." The other responds, saying all the right things to convince you to stay. "Let me get you a drink, yeah? We should be good hosts, Satoru." He says as he walks off to the kitchen, leaving you and the other behind.

"Where'd you transfer from, sweets?" Satoru asks as he subtly leads you away from the door.

"Oh, just a nearby community college." You respond as you see Geto walking back towards you two with a red solo cup in his hands. Now, you've heard all the horror stories of what can happen to vulnerable college girls at frat parties. "I don't drink, sorry." You politely decline with a smile.

"Hm? I saw you drinking earlier." Suguru says as he tilts his head to the side slightly in confusion. Shit. Busted.

"Oh sorry, what I meant to say was I don't drink drinks that are made by men."

A look of sudden understanding crosses Suguru's face. He then looks down at the drink, and he takes a huge gulp of it first. "Satoru, take a drink." He hands the cup over to the other male, and he also takes a drink out of it. "I'm sorry. The thought never crossed my mind."

Satoru hands the now almost empty cup to you, and you can't help but laugh softly. These two dorks really just almost drunk the entire drink to prove to you that nothing was in it. "Oh, what the hell." You shrug as you take the last gulp of the drink. "Thanks."

"Of course, angel." Suguru smiles in your direction.

"Ooo, do you know what we should play with our new friend?" Satoru asks with a cheeky grin as he wiggles his eyebrows up at Suguru.

*** *** ***

Before you know it, a group of people are sat in a circle around in the common area, and there's a playing card in the center. Suck or blow is a game where the players pass around a playing card using only their lips via sucking or blowing. If the card is dropped between two people, they must kiss. To heighten the fun, after the card is dropped, it is cut in half, making it harder to keep the card up on the players' lips.

"Okay, but this isn't fair. Satoru and Suguru shouldn't be allowed to sit next to each other because they're just gonna kiss every chance they get." Someone in the circle mentions as they roll their eyes.

It just now occurs to you that the two men who convinced you to stay are lovers.

"You're so right. C'mere, sweets, so we don't ruin the game for everyone else." Satoru grins as he scoots over to the side, making room for you between him and Geto. Your eyes widen slightly from his proposition as you had a weird feeling about this game.

You slowly crawl between Satoru and Suguru. They're both big men sat with their legs crossed, so their legs are just casually rubbing against yours. No matter how much you try to scrunch up you're own body, they seems to press right against you.

Your eyes follow the playing card around the circle as people are giggling and taunting each other. Faces are red, there's awkward moments of tension, and a pair of people actually end up accidentally dropping the card.

It actually seems like a pretty lighthearted game. The card is cut in half, and the game resumes. Your heart starts to thump in your chest a bit harder as the card is making it's way closer and closer to you. With the way the rotation is going, you'll have to receive the card from Satoru and pass it off to Suguru.

Seems easy enough.

Satoru leans in to some guy that's sat beside him, and they both nearly laugh. Luckily, Satoru is able to obtain the card from the guy, lightly sucking in so the card stays flush against his lips.

He turns towards you, and his eyes lock with yours. For a moment, you swear you're able to see a devilish look in his eyes before he tilts his head up and blows the card away from his lips. "Oops. I dropped it." He feigns innocence with a smirk. "What can you do?"

You feel yourself lean back slightly. Surely, this wasn't fair. It's not that you didn't want to kiss Satoru. Let's just be honest, who doesn't? But you certainly didn't want to kiss him in front of his boyfriend.

"What are you runnin' from, angel? Satoru doesn't bite too hard." Suguru encourages you as he gently nudges you forward. Your face immediately flushes, and you barely have any time to respond before Satoru cups your cheeks and pulls you into the steamiest kiss you've ever received.

This was not like the kiss those other two people shared. This was deep, intimate, and totally inappropriate. Satoru scooted off of his bottom and onto his knees as he leaned more into you, bullying his way into your mouth by biting your lower lip.

A small muffled whimper escapes your mouth as you’re almost unable to breathe. Your hands push against his shoulders, and he groans as he’s forced to separate from you.

His face is slightly flushed, and his breath is short pants. His bright blue eyes were half-lidded as he leaned back to his spot with a smirk.

Your face is also completely flushed with embarrassment. Reluctantly looking around the room, the people are giggling and whispering about you. Some of them look towards Geto waiting for his reaction. Your heart starts to thump harshly in your chest.

You place your hands behind you on the floor to get up. This is too much. What kind of kiss was that anyways? Why would he embarrass you in front of everyone?

Before you’re able to get up from your spot, Suguru wraps his hand around your wrist, and he holds you back towards him.

“Now, now, angel.” He clicks his tongue disapprovingly, and you feel your heart drop to your stomach. Thinking Suguru is about to rip you a new one for kissing his boyfriend like that, you immediately start to apologize. “What you apologizing for, hm?” He asks as he leans in dangerously close to you. “I was just going to say that if Satoru gets a taste, then so do I.”

What kind of sick prank was this?

His dark eyes flicker down to your lips, and his other hand brushes your hair away from your face before he leans in and presses a softer - more sensual kiss. His lips are smooth and delicate; the complete opposite from Satoru’s.

You feel like you’re about to explode from embarrassment, so you pull away with a whiny huff. The brunette merely chuckles are your reaction. “I could still taste him on you.” He murmurs into your ear, making your heart skip a beat.

Your palms find your face as you’re literally trying to hide from the situation. Not that you can see, but the two men were literally just grinning at you, pleased with the mess they caused.

“Alright. That was fun.” Satoru announced, denoting the end of the game.

“Maybe for you.” A guy retorted with a halfway-annoyed laugh. You could hear people shuffling around, leaving the circle they were all sat in.

Slowly, your hands leave your face, and you see most people have went back to hanging out in their own social groups; however, Satoru and Suguru stuck by your side.

“Well, it seems she’ll share a kiss with both of us. I wonder what else she might do with both of us.” Suguru mused as he propped his head up with his hand. His elbow sat on his knee as he gazed at both you and Satoru with an enamored expression.

“I- We were playing a game!” You quickly go to defend your case, but Satoru is right there to also taunt you.

“Oh, so you’d only kiss one of us if we weren’t playing a game?” Satoru asks as he also leans into you, fluttering his long white eyelashes. “Sweets, if you wanted it to be just you and I, I could tell Suguru here to give us some space.”

“What-? No, that’s not what I…”

“So, you were open to kissing both of us.” Suguru cuts you off, not letting you refute or argue.

Your face is bright red as you feel your head spinning. Both of the men were matching each other’s energy, applying pressure to you. Their dominant personalities were making it hard for you to even get a word out.

“Please- stop.” You whisper quietly as you look down at your lap, practically folding in on yourself like a hermit crab who senses danger.

Suguru shoots Satoru a quick glance, and they seem to have a silent conversation between the two of them. The brunette is the first to speak up, gently placing his hand on your shoulder.

“Hey- it’s okay. We were just teasing.” He reassures you softly as he bends his head down to try to look in your eyes to show that he’s sincere.

Satoru gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “We’re sorry, sweets. We didn’t mean to overwhelm you.”

“You’re not mad at me..?” You quietly ask the two of them as they’re both doting on you with physical affection to soothe your anxiety.

“Why would we be mad, angel?” Suguru asks softly. His hand is gently rubbing on your shoulder, lightly massaging you.

“Yeah, we kissed you. Why would we be mad?” Satoru pitches in as he carefully cards his fingers through your hair.

Your heart continues to flutter a bit. Having both men tend to you emotionally and physically was rather appealing.

“I kissed you two back, and you two are…” Your voice trails off as you don’t know what type of label to place on their relationship.

“Ohhh, she’s worried about us being jealous, Sugu.” Satoru grins as his hand pats the top of your head.

“Poor thing. Allow me to let you in on a little secret.” Suguru dips his head closer to your ear, and he drops his voice to a low whisper. “Neither of us care as long as we both get to have you.”

You must’ve misheard him. Is he really just openly offering a threesome between you, him, and Satoru?

“I don’t understand…” You quietly murmur, not daring to make eye contact with either of them right now.

“Yes, you do.” Satoru interjects as he sits up a little. His hand grabs your chin and forces you to look up at him. Bright blue eyes stare into your very essence. “I think we’ve made our intentions pretty clear here, sweets. We both want you. So, you can either follow us up to the bedroom, or we can all pretend this didn’t happen, and you can go back to your dorm and play with yourself to the thought of us.”

You’re sure that if these boys keep it up, you’ll have a heart attack at some point. Your breath hitches in your throat as you try to comprehend how Satoru could be so bold. You’re truly lucky that Suguru is there to balance him out.

“You don’t have to decide right now, angel. Satoru is a bit too impatient for his own good.” Suguru speaks lowly as his hand gently caresses your back. “You can make your mind up whenever you’d like. We just want to be clear in our intentions.”

“That you want to sleep with me?” You ask as your eyes dart over to Geto.

“You make it sound so bad, love.” Suguru responds as his eyes look over your face. “It’s not just sleeping with you. It’s making you feel good. It’s sharing you between us and watching you deteriorate into that little shy mess that you let us get a glimpse of earlier.”

Satoru pinches your cheek as he still has your face cupped. “It’s about seeing how much you can take and which one of us will fold first and fill you up.”

You press your thighs together as you feel your heartbeat in your cunt. How did they make sex sound so appealing? Not that you didn’t like sex, but you never had it described to you like that.

“You like what he’s saying, angel?” Suguru muses as he leans in close to your ear. His nose brushes against your hair gently, and his warm breath ghosts your skin. “It’s okay. You want us both to fill you up. We can give you that.” His voice is so soothing as if he’s speaking a lullaby to you. His large hands trails to your inner thigh. “You just gotta give us the word, love. We’ll give you a night you’ll never forget.”

*** *** ***

So, that’s how you ended up in Satoru’s massive bedroom upstairs while the party continued on upstairs.

Suguru’s lips were on yours, practically making love to your mouth as he ran his hand through your hair. The back of your knees hit Satoru’s king sized bed as the brunette was gently coaxing you there by taking small steps forward.

His boyfriend was watching the two of you with big eyes. His hand was absentmindedly palming himself through his jeans as he admired the way you submitted to Suguru so willingly.

“Sugu…” Satoru nearly whines. If it was just the two of them in the room alone, he would be already pouting, but he has a dominant role to uphold.

The brunette gently parts from the kiss leaving you a panting mess to look over at his cute boyfriend, eagerly palming himself like an animal who couldn’t help themselves. “Such an only child.” He remarks with a smirk. “Never learned how to share properly.”

“I want to kiss her too.” Satoru huffs as he approaches the two of you. Your eyes are glued on Satoru almost out of fear. Despite how whiny he could get, he was definitely the more rougher direct one.

“Be my guest, Toru.” Suguru hums as he gently nudges you onto the bed to where your bottom is on the edge. “I wanna kiss somewhere else anyways.” His fingers hook into the waistband of your pants, and he tugs them off of you.

Satoru moves his upper body on top of yours while staying out of Suguru’s way. He’s slightly jealous that Geto is getting to taste you first, but he’s sure that he’ll get to feel you wrapped around him first. His hands pin yours above your head, and you squirm a bit, testing his grip.

“Think you can get away, sweets? Go ahead and try.” Satoru smirks as he doesn’t even have to try to hold you down. You’re no match for him, especially considering he’s a pro at contact sports.

Your squirming intensifies as Suguru’s fingers gently brush against your damp panties. “She already made a mess for us.” He muses to Satoru.

“What a slut.” The white-haired male grins before he finally gets what he came here for: a kiss. His lips devour yours in another steamy kiss as Geto starts rubbing small light circles against your clit with his thumb.

You’re completely at the mercy. Your body squirms around from the stimulation, but neither of the boys relent. Before you all went upstairs, Suguru made it clear that you had a safe word: crepe. If you uttered that word, both of them would completely stop whatever they were doing. Until then, you were fair game no matter how much you whimpered or squirmed.

The thought of it makes you try to press your thighs together as your cunt clenches around nothing, but Suguru forces your thighs apart. “Don’t hide your pretty cunt from me, angel. I don’t want to have to tie you down.”

Chills go up your spine from the thought, and you reluctantly stop trying to close your legs.

Satoru kisses bruisingly hard, gulping down each of your breaths and using your whimpers as a way to slip his tongue past your lips. His hand is still holding down both of your hands while his other starts to grope your breast.

Suguru presses chaste kisses to your core through your panties while still rubbing you. He hums with contentment as he watches your hips rise from the bed searching for more. He decides to indulge you for now, slowly sliding your panties down your legs.

“So pretty.” He murmurs as he gazes at your soaking wet cunt. His eyelids flutter shut before he leans in and ever so gently laps at your cunt, causing you to squeal into Satoru’s mouth.

The white-haired male finally relents in his kisses to gaze down at his boyfriend while he was leisurely indulging in your cunt like it was a gourmet meal. He bites back a moan as his dick is painfully hard, straining against his jeans. It’s nearly enough to make his head spin. He needs release — like now.

He unbuttons his pants before shrugging him off of him quickly. His cock has already leaked a small wet spot into his boxer briefs.

You’re too consumed with Geto’s tongue that you don’t even notice Satoru’s cock until he straddles your shoulders. Your eyes widen while looking at his size. His cock quite literally casts a shadow over your face with its massive size. His tip is an angry red color from neglect, and a bead of pre-cum sits upon the small slit.

“Oh sweets, you flatter me.” Satoru grins as he takes note of your facial expressions. The palm of his hand then gently pushes your forehead back, and he drags his length across your lips, smearing his pre-cum against your pretty mouth.

Satoru enjoys just gently rubbing his cock across your face as you give him pitiful glances and small whimpers. You try to take him into your mouth, but he won’t let you. He’s enjoying toying with you too much.

Meanwhile, Suguru is completely lost between your thighs. His jaw is almost sore from making out with your sloppy cunt, and that’s saying a lot considering he’s use to sucking dick. No matter, he continues alternating lapping at you and tongue-fucking your tight entrance. Each time his tongue thrusts inwards, he can’t help but think about how good you’re going to feel wrapped around his dick later.

Your hips try to shimmy away from him, and he takes it as a sign that you’re close. His hands grip onto your hips, preventing your escape, and his mouth then focuses strictly on your clit as he gently suckles on the small bundle of nerves.

Your mouth falls open as you gasp, and Satoru takes his chance to fill your mouth while you’re off guard. His cock immediately stuffs your mouth, muffling all of your sweet noises. Your eyes squint closed as you struggle not to immediately gag around him.

“Oh, come on. I know you can do better than that, sweets.” He taunts as he looks down at your poor struggling face. “You’re not even taking half of me.”

Your spit accumulates on his cock as he sits still for a moment, giving you just a mere second to prepare yourself. Then, he starts to rock his hips back and forth, fucking your pretty mouth while he holds you still.

“Look at me.” He demands with a small grunt.

Your eyes flutter open obediently to look up at him while he uses your throat to his heart’s content. Tears brim in your eyes, threatening to spill. Cute.

For a moment, your entire body tenses up as you gush juices against Geto’s face and chin. Your eyes slip shut as it’s almost too much to handle. The brunette continues to drink you down as if you didn’t just cum.

Satoru’s hips continue to forcefully push himself deeper into your mouth. He hates that Suguru is getting all the attention!! He gets to kiss you first He gets to taste you first. Now, he’s getting to make you cum first!

Taking his frustrations out on your poor throat, Satoru doesn’t even realize that his orgasm is rapidly approaching him until it’s almost too late. “F-fuck.” He grunts as he presses your head down harder. His tip grazes the back of your throat, causing you to gag around him. The tears slip past your cheeks.

“Yeah, gag around me, slut. That’s what you get for letting him make you cum first.” He moans as his hips stutter. He then shoves himself as deep as your throat will around, and his cock pulses between your lips as he empties himself deep in your throat.

Your cry muffles around his length as he stays seated in the back of your throat until he’s a sensitive mess. Your hand quickly comes up and hits the side of his thigh with a small whine.

With a small chuckle, he slowly gets up off of your shoulders, and Suguru had finally ceased eating you out. Your body is so tired. Taking a moment to rest in Satoru’s bed with your eyes closed, you hear clothes shuffling around.

You assumed they were maybe getting back dressed, but no, you were sorely mistaken.

“C’mere, angel. Let me hold you.” Suguru whispers softly as he crawls behind you onto the bed. Your eyes flutter open to see him completely naked, patting his lap for you.

He is (thankfully) not a big as Satoru is, but his cock is definitely fatter. You swallow harshly as your eyes wander his body.

“Listen to him, sweets.” Satoru snaps your mind back to reality as his hand gently swats at your thigh.

You slowly crawl up onto Suguru’s lap, and he turns you facing away from him. Your back lies flush against his chest. “I’ll be gentle with you. Don’t worry,” He hums softly as he pulls your shirt and bra off of you, finally discarding those pesky items.

His hand carefully adjusts his cock right between your thighs, fitting snuggly between your warm wet folds. “Mmm, feel good, angel?” He asks as his body lightly shudders from the feeling.

You weakly nod your head, and Geto starts to slowly rock his hips back and forth, coating his inches in your slick.

Satoru climbed next to you two, and he cuddles into your side before lazily catching one of your nipples into his mouth. His eyes flutter shut as he gently suckles on the sensitive bud. His hand is gently playing and rubbing on your other.

“Mnnph~ fuck..” You whimper as you lean your head back against Suguru’s shoulder. His hips continue to rock behind you, spreading your slick all over your thighs.

“Wanna see something.. ah~.. fun, angel?” Suguru asks quietly as he gently takes your hand. He slowly guides you to grabbing onto Satoru’s hair, which elicits a small whine out of him.

His blue eyes flutter open as he looks up at you pitifully while swirling his tongue around the small bundle of nerves. It seems as though he has a weak spot - his hair being pulled.

You can barely concentrate from the movement of Suguru’s hips when he makes you pull Satoru’s hair again only harder this time. The white-haired male moans around your nipple, adding vibrations to the mix of stimulation.

“Look at me, pretty boy.” Geto purrs at his boyfriend. Satoru’s eyes look up towards both yours and Geto’s faces. His eyebrows are pinched together, and he doesn’t dare stop suckling on the soft bud.

Suguru reaches down with his other hand, and he adjusts his cock right against your warm entrance. His tip bumps against the ring of muscle, causing you to whine from the sensation.

“Gonna prep her for you, okay?” Suguru mumbles to his boyfriend. The white-haired male immediately pulls away from your breast with a soft ‘pop’ noise.

“Wait no, I wann-“ Satoru’s words are futile as Suguru pushes into you with a loud groan. His head falls back against the pillow behind him. Your hands grab at the sheets with a whine as you squeeze your eyes shut. It feels like he’s trying to split you into two with his fat cock.

“Mmnn.. so, so tight.” He grunts, obviously provoking Satoru more. “Feels so good.” He adds while his hips shallowly move, pushing his tip in and out. The tight wet muscle envelopes him each time with a squelching noise.

Satoru’s eyes are as big as saucers as he watches Suguru barely pump into you. The sight of your cunt struggling to fit him and dripping juices all along his length makes him feel feral.

A huff escapes his lips as he shifts his face between your legs. “I wanted to stretch her.” He furrows his eyebrows in slight jealousy.

“Too bad. You’re just going to have to… ngh~.. watch me do it.” Suguru retorts as he pushed a couple inches deeper, allowing your gummy walls to squeeze around him.

“Oh f-fuck..! s’too much-“ You cry as your hips start to tremble. The pressure from his cock pushing deeper causes you to arch your back away from the brunette.

“Angel, I’m barely even in yet. You can do better than that.” Geto tsks disapprovingly. His hands wrap around your hips to hold them still. “Help her out, Satoru.”

The white-haired male looked up at your scrunched face as white hot pleasure and pain course through you, and he actually takes a little bit of pity on you… or maybe he just really wants a taste. Either way, he drags his tongue up Suguru’s length, licking your juices off his boyfriend. He continues to lick upward until his tongue presses against your clit.

You choke out a moan as you’re struggling to keep control over your body. It’s all so much. Your poor cunt squeezes around Suguru as Satoru continues to lap at you. As soon as you begin to adjust, Suguru pushes all the way into you, down to the hilt.

“Fuuuuck~ so good.” He groans as you clench around him so deliciously. Your juices mixing with Satoru’s saliva make it absolutely messy. The wet smacking noises fill the room as Suguru wastes no more time fucking himself into you.

Satoru’s tongue continually switches from focusing on your clit and licking up your juices from the base of Geto’s cock. He hums in pleasure as he pitifully grinds his painfully hard length into the mattress, desperate for any sort of friction.

“Sh-shit-! Satoruu~” You drawl as your hand finds his hair, but he quickly pins your wrist down, not letting you force him to submit again.

“She’s weepin’ for me, Suguru.” Satoru taunts with a hint of pride.

The brunette is lost in his own deep thrusts. He can feel his balls tightening, signaling how close he was. “Yeah? Get in here then. Make her feel good.” Suguru instructs as he pulls himself out of your wet heat, mostly to prevent himself from finishing too quickly.

You immediately whine in protest from the empty feeling, causing both of the men to chuckle at you. “Such a slut. Just needing something to fill you up, hm? You don’t care which one of us it is.” Satoru is back to his degradation as he sits up on his knees, scooting himself between both yours and Geto’s legs.

Suguru carefully tucks his cock back behind you, in between your soft pillowy cheeks. Satoru takes his opportunity and pressed himself against your entrance.

“Fuuck sweets, she’s cryin’ for me.” He groans as he bullies himself inside of you, immediately pushing all the way to the hilt, causing for you to let out a silent scream. His tip practically kisses your cervix, filling you fuller than you ever have been before. “Gotta give her what she wants.”

His thrusts were unlike Geto’s. He was rough, not giving you any time to adjust to his length before he starts pounding your pretty pussy. Your body jerks and squirms, but both of the men hold you down, making sure you can’t get away.

With each brutal thrust, your backside inadvertently grinds against Suguru’s already sensitive length. “Fuu- hnnngh~ my god.” The brunette whines behind you as his fingers dig into your hips.

You’re already a complete blabbering mess, getting completely fucked stupid in the head by the white-haired male. “Hah~… fuuuck, pleaasee.” You whimper, not even know what you’re begging for.

Satoru has your wrists pinned against Suguru’s shoulders while he slams into you. Sweat gathers on his forehead as he’s completely enamored by both yours and Geto’s spent faces. His mind plays tricks on him, convincing him that he’s miraculously fucking both of you right now.

“Whatcha beggin’ for, sweets?” He huffs as his hips push into yours, forcing your entire body up and down against his boyfriend. “Need both of us?”

Your eyes immediately widen, and you’re shaking your head quickly. “Ah, ah, I don’t hear the safe word. Suguru, I think she wants it.”

Geto pants and moans as he slowly pulls his hips back, allowing for his cock to slip between your legs. He’s painfully hard and sensitive too. “Think you can take b-both of us, angel?” He asks as he gently rubs his tip against your entrance that is already being filled by Satoru.

“N-no~! I-… I can’t.” You practically pleading as your legs are trembling from Satoru’s harsh abuse of your cunt.

“Shh, nonsense.” Suguru soothes as he brings his hand up to his mouth. He spits onto his hand and drags it along his length, lubricating himself so he can glide in. “You wanna be a good girl, don’t you?”

“Please. She’s not good for anything besides taking us.” Satoru interjects as he slowly pulls himself back until just his tip is inside, allowing Suguru the room to squeeze in.

“Poor angel, can’t even resist it, can you?” Geto mocks as he guides himself to your entrance. He slowly works his was inside. His cock was completely flush against Satoru’s, and your walls completely tighten around the both of them.

Tears fill your eyes as the pressure from both of them is almost too much. Your entire body tenses up, trying to cope with the feeling of being so full.

“Shhh, you gotta relax, darling.” Suguru murmurs into your ear. His hand reaches around and gently rubs small circles against your clit, coaxing your body to open up for them. “We’re gonna take good care of you. You need to trust us though.”

Satoru sits patiently, biting his inner cheek to prevent himself from moving. The tight feeling of your sopping cunt as well as Suguru’s cock smushed against his was nearly enough to throw him overboard. He gathers your hair carefully, and he gently moves it out of the way so he can kiss on your neck.

Suguru follows suit: kissing and biting gently on your opposite shoulder. Both of the men worked together to ease your body while Suguru slowly sunk in deeper and deeper, stretching you to your fullest. 

“Good girl..” The brunette quietly purrs in your ear. “Takin’ us both so well. Think you can take a little more?”

“Don’t call her that. This slut can barely fit us both.” Satoru grins as he wastes no more time. His hips start to roll back and forth, and his hands grabbed at the bottom of your thighs, lifting your legs up so they both could have better access.

Both of the men take turns pushing their cocks deep inside you, not giving you a single moment to rest or adjust. Your head was spinning, unable to form a coherent thought as your poor cunt was being taken by two at once.

Suguru’s clasp on your hips tightens as he rhythmically buries himself into you repeatedly. The feeling of your warm gummy walls combined with Satoru’s cock rubbing against his, creating a delicious friction was too much to handle.

“F-fuck.. I’m not gonna last too much longer.” He pants as he continues torturously rutting upwards into your sloppy wet entrance. “N-need to feel this.. mmmph.. this pussy up.”

Satoru growls lowly as he slows his pacing but makes each thrust count. Watching his boyfriend unravel underneath you was something he didn’t know he needed. He can feel himself getting close too.

But it was you who finished first. You couldn’t even warn them before your orgasm suddenly washed over you. Fluids gushed along both of them as your cunt spasmed and clenched around them.

“Did you just-“ Satoru looks down at where you two are connected to confirm it with his own eyes. “D-dirty girl, you just squirted on us.” He muses as his thrusts grow sloppier.

Suguru’s barely pumping into you before he tilts his head back. His adam’s apple bobs as he paints your insides white with a loud, needy groan.

Satoru’s legs are trembling as he keeps fucking himself into you. It’s so fucking wet from Suguru’s cum as well as your juices. The combined throbbing and clenching bring on dual sensations that have him spilling inside you as well.

“G-god fuck!” He tightens his grip on your wrists as he works his way through his orgasm.

The three of you stay in bed connected together while panting softly. The frat house is eerily quiet. Everyone must’ve went home.

“Are you alright, angel?” Suguru asks as his feather light touch grazes your tummy softly. “We didn’t hurt you, did we?”

“N-no… I’m okay.” You mutter weakly. “I don’t think I can walk back to my dorm though…”

“Good. You’re not leaving anyways.” Satoru declares with a playful smile before he snuggles into you and Suguru.

“He’s a bit clingy, but I agree. Stay here for tonight.” Suguru says, also wrapping his strong arms around you.

While the three of you slept peacefully in each other’s arms, your phone was blowing up with texts and calls from Ino who was worried sick when he showed up to the party, and you weren’t there. Oh well, you’ll just have to tell him in the morning.

[disneyprincemuke]

what if i told you that i've fallen? * ls2

[part one out of eight]

and what do you do when you fall in love with the person you swear is your best friend in the entire world?

pairings: logan sargeant x fem!driver

notes: u don't have to be acquainted with the original series to read and enjoy this i promise there's context here like i swear i swear i-

this is also A STANDALONE FIC OK THIS Is juST THEIR MEGA TIMELINE FIC WHERE whaT IF i entertained the idea of them ending up together xoxo <3

wc: 6.2k

(series masterlist) | (through the years)

2020

girls and guys can always be just friends for the rest of their lives. realistically, it isn’t that difficult to prove it: her friendship with oscar has always been the one remaining evidence that it is possible. and for years, her friendship with logan also told everyone that the phenomenon of ‘opposite gender friendships are impossible’ is simply a lie.

that was when she stepped out of her university campus one evening: a breeze blew her hair back, stray leaves swirling on the ground as logan leaned against the hood of his car. she felt her heart drop to her stomach when he looked up from his phone to smile at her.

suddenly her best friend didn’t seem like much of a best friend anymore. suddenly, she got giddy at the thought of sitting in the passenger side of his car; blushing when he put a hand on the back of the headrest as he reversed the car out of their parking spot. all of the things that he does have got a deeper meaning to them — is he doing that mindlessly or is she crazy to think that he could possibly feel the same?

truthfully, she has no idea where the feelings came from. up to now, she’d only ever seen logan as a best friend with whom she had several things in common. not to forget 1 of the 2 people who drove her around in their fancy cars whenever she needed them to. and not only that, one of the kids her parents let stay with them in their house during times they had to spend apart from their families back home.

“hey, feeling alright?” oscar elbows her gently.

the girl perks up slightly, turning to him with a wide smile as she blinks rapidly. “yeah, why do you ask?” she follows his gaze down to the untouched cup of mojito sitting on the table. she meets his eyes again with a sheepish laugh. “i just don’t really feel like drinking tonight.”

the sheer thought of having feelings deeper than the surface level for logan was enough to make her stomach churn.

oscar raises his eyebrow, glancing at the mojito again. “i don’t believe that.”

“i swear!” she shrieks, eyes widening as she waves oscar’s concerns away. “i’m just not feeling the club at all, actually.”

“really? but you’re usually in your element when we go clubbing,” oscar frowns, taking the mojito into his hands and starting to drink it immediately. it’s odd that she’s not out on the dance floor, creating a small dance party with random goers. “is something wrong? you can talk to me.”

she looks over her shoulder as the sight of her best friend on the dance floor with another girl greets her once more. it’s only complicated because she got him that girl the minute they stepped into the club. it’s what logan always teases her about being able to score him dates and girls even better than he could all by himself. she has this way of talking him up where girls immediately fall for him. it’s a power, even.

he praises her for that all the time.

as much as she’s convinced that this crush would never develop into something more than it is, it worries her. this one is different. she knows by heart because she’s never been kept up all night by anything before — not even her toughest days in school had gotten her this stressed.

racing, maybe, but nothing else.

and she knows she can’t talk to oscar about this. so she takes a deep breath and shakes her head again. “it’s nothing. i think i’ll just order some bar food.” she scooches out of their booth. “do you want any?”

“i’m alright, mate,” oscar grins. he waves goodbye to her, watching her disappear into the crowd. he turns to lily. “did you notice that? she was acting weird, wasn’t she? it’s not just me?”

lily nods, taking a sip from the mojito that the young girl left behind. “it is. we should try and figure that out soon before it gets bad.”

logan couldn’t tell you when he started seeing his best friend as more than just a friend. it came randomly.

the last time he remembered feeling normal about her was the night they all slept in his room the night before her first race in formula 3. someone was shivering and it sure as hell was not the guy sleeping next to him on the other bed with a blanket strewn over his shoulders tightly. when he sat up, he snorted when he saw the younger girl curled up into a ball as her teeth softly chattered.

he sighed as he got up to his feet, picking up the blankets that she’d conveniently kicked down to the ground sometime during her slumber. he would never have noticed if he hadn’t stepped on it, her stuffed animal lying on the ground, abandoned and betrayed by her after she discarded everything on the bed with her initially.

he remembers that he laughed as he lifted her arm, placing the stuffed animal under her arms. and he thought that she looked so adorable nuzzling her cheek into the plushie, falling into an even deeper sleep.

what got him was when he laid the blanket over her. she pulled the blankets around herself a little tighter, smiling in satisfaction as she felt her body start to warm up. “thanks,” she whispered before abruptly snoring again.

he felt his heart go heavy at the sight, thumping against his chest as she sighed heavily. suddenly his head starts to spin and he feels something he’s never really felt for anyone before.

and, oh, god. he needs to sit down.

he sat at the edge of her bed, scratching his head as both of his friends slept. he looked over at her and felt something tugging at his heart and he knew instantly that it was over for him and the way he looked at her.

he thought it was just a fleeting crush and something that would eventually go away. but it’s been 2 weeks and he still hasn’t been able to push away the nagging feeling in his chest. everything just leads back to the girl with the seemingly brightest smile and most hypnotising eyes.

it wasn’t long until he felt like he could burst from the way he felt. which is why he’s now sitting opposite oscar, at brunch, while they wait for her and lily to arrive from stopping by at a bakery not too far away. he’s bearing holes into oscar’s head, waiting to catch his attention, but the australian seems to be too caught up with what’s on his phone than his friend quietly breaking down across the table.

“oscar,” logan finally says, hand darting out to try and catch his attention. “mate, i need to tell you something. it’s important.”

“oh, you never really have anything serious to say.” oscar puts his phone down on the table, pressing his lips together. he folds his arms and leans on the table. “did you do something bad again? you have to tell her dad this time, i can’t keep doing that for you, mate.”

“no, no,” logan sighs, shaking his head. “i’m serious. this is serious. like, you can’t tell lily at all.”

“wha–“

“i know you tell lily everything, no shame in that. but you really cannot tell her this one.”

oscar furrows his eyebrows. “you’re kind of scaring me. how serious is this thing you’ve done?”

“insanely serious.” logan puts his palm on the table. “mate, i think i’m in love.”

out of all the girls that logan has ever been with, he’s never once said that he’s in love. or at least said it out loud. if oscar is hearing about it for the first time since they met years ago, logan must be pretty serious about this.

logan’s just never been the type to commit to anyone, more or less ever claiming that he is in love with any of the girls that he’s gone out on a date with.

oscar looks around, worried that the girls may have already arrived and overheard his friend. “you’ve never ever said that before. are you serious?” logan nods. “like for real, serious? you’re sure about this girl?”

“that’s the thing.” logan starts to play with the menu, opening and closing it as he tries to play off the severity of his feelings. “i don’t know. but it’s been bugging me for weeks now. i can’t get her out of my head.”

“it must be serious if this has been going on for weeks,” oscar scoffs with a small smile. “how long have you known her?”

logan contemplates telling oscar the truth. will oscar ever slip up and tell her about his feelings? and what will happen if it changes everything and he loses his best friends? literally, the people he knows are his ride-or-die.

“you have no idea the severity. it’s–“

“why are you hunched over whispering like a bunch of schoolgirls with gossip?” she snorts, patting logan on the shoulder as she slots herself in the empty spot next to him in the booth. “anything to tell me?”

logan shakes his head, moving in further to give her the spot. “nope, nothing.”

without anything said, oscar feels like logan’s already told him everything. typically, she’s always in the knows of anything feelings-related, or anything that has to do with a crush. and he knows logan doesn’t mind that lily knows. the arrows are only pointing at one possible person present in the room.

but it can’t be. they’re all best friends.

“ah, keeping secrets now, i see,” she hums, narrowing her eyes down into a suspicious stare.

“way to hold it against me, mate,” logan scoffs, picking up the menu from the table. he glances at oscar across the table who raises his eyebrows at him.

logan, already knowing that he’s caught on, just nods in devastation. in a way that oscar’s never seen him before and that in itself is concerning.

the feeling never stops gnawing at her when she lies awake at night in her bed. she tosses and turns for hours, biting her fingernails as she tugs on her hair in frustration.

her lock screen, a picture of the 3 of them at a track from just a couple of days ago, consumes her. she’s come to overanalyse everything: his hand placements in pictures, their text messages, the way he speaks to her, everything that he does seems to mean more than it used to. and it should not be this way at all.

he is her best friend, after all. and what would she know about crushes and love? she could have been a small percentage of the population that grew up without really having one. it’s not something she concerned herself about over the years.

of course, she allowed herself that one boyfriend when she was 16. but even now she knows that that was not love.

could this be love? surely not — not with her best friend.

not with the boy who moved into her house when she was 13 to live with them for some months of the year, then leaving to spend the holidays with his family in florida. it’s not fair that she is consumed whole by the thought of being his girl.

because when you grow up alongside people, you tend to know the worst side of them. especially when you live together.

but why is it that, as aware as she is of logan’s flaws and everything that made girls want to walk away, she still longs to have him all to herself?

she hears his voice mixed with oscar’s from the next room over. it seems that they are also kept up by something that doesn’t seem to concern her. should she join them for another sleepless night like she typically does?

but it seems to be almost crossing the line of the boundaries of late night conversations they seem to be having. she hums, dropping her phone next to her head as she rolls over to lie on her back.

she looks up at the ceiling and tries to map the past couple of years and how it’s led her here. her heart thumps in her chest as she thinks of the green eyes that have captivated her lately, breathing shakily as the urge to stare into it at this very moment grows.

but she doesn’t know that in the next room over, the older boy feels the same way about her. technically, all her tossing and turning, fears of losing him over feelings that are slowly festering in her gut, are all for nothing. because if she got up right now and just laid it all out for him, he would be okay with it. he’d welcome it with open arms.

not knowing if he feels the same is what scares her the most.

a knock on the door makes her jump, sitting up dishevelled as she turns her attention to the door. she should be asleep for her classes tomorrow — which she would have been if logan hadn’t taken up every inch of space in her mind — so if that’s a test from her parents, it’s over for her.

“it’s us.”

she scrambles out of bed, keeping her footsteps soft to avoid the notion of announcing that she’s out of bed. when she opens the door, it’s come to her surprise that they’re wearing jackets and pants. oscar holds up his car keys with a small grin. “we’re hungry.”

“i’ve got classes tomorrow,” she says in a whisper as she avoids logan’s stare that’s boring holes into her skull.

logan shrugs. “and you’re still awake,” he’s the first to walk towards the stairs and beckons his two friends to follow him, “come on, we were craving ice cream. thank god you’re awake.”

she looks down at herself, in her pyjamas and then glances over at her friends with furrowed eyebrows. “i’m not dressed to head out. could you give me like 5 minutes to change at least?”

“no time for that,” oscar frowns, “do you wanna get caught?”

“besides, i brought an extra jacket for you. your mum would flip if she sees one of your jackets was used, no?” logan stops at the top of the stairs, holding up one of his smaller jackets in the air to show it to her. “i reckon we should get a move before your parents hear you out of bed, dude.”

she takes a deep breath, her gaze softening at the jacket that’s held in the air. it’s not that cold out, so she would definitely do without a jacket. but the thought of being wrapped in a jacket that belonged to logan — with his smell and the whole shebang — almost brings her to her knees. and going to sleep with his cologne all over her? it’s enough to make a typically emotionless woman cry.

“mate, do you wanna come or not?” oscar whispers, still towering over her at her door.

she nods, slowly closing the door behind her as she tries to run silently to the stairs where logan is. “does it smell like you? cause that would be kind of gross.”

a lie: she literally wants it to smell like him. just so she can have a sliver of what it feels like to be his.

“nope. that’s clean.” logan smiles proudly, holding up the jacket with both hands, opening it wide for her to wear it. while normally it would be an issue if it smelled like logan (which is why he took a fresh jacket out of his closet), it’s all she wants right now — to go to bed smelling like him to replace the emptiness of sleeping by herself.

she slots an arm into the jacket, thanking him softly as she feels her cheeks heat up at the gesture. and this is what it’s like suddenly overthinking every interaction she has with logan. did he always used to do this or is everything amplified by the thought of her heart suddenly beating for him?

did his actions always have this romantic intonation in them and she was too stupid to notice, or has it always been this way?

she freezes as logan circles her, pulling the jacket down her shoulders before he zips it up for her. he tugs on it gently and pats her shoulder. “warm enough? i’ve got a thicker jacket if you need one.”

she shakes her head, eyes wide as she looks up at him. he doesn’t seem to notice; turning towards the stairs to make their way to the car. oscar walks past them and shakes the keys as softly as he can. “let’s go. i’m starving.”

she watches the 2 boys walk down the stairs, frozen in the ground at their interaction. she sucks in a deep breath as she tries to process everything: the way he was so close to her and how his gesture was so familiar yet so unfamiliar at the same time.

“mate, let’s go,” oscar scolds, beckoning her from the bottom of the stairs. “i’ll leave you behind if you’re not down here in the next 15 seconds.”

“okay, be patient!” she squeaks, jumping from her spot to rush towards oscar.

by the door, logan keeps a tight grip on the front door as he can barely glance at her happily jumping down the steps. the sight fills his chest with such warmth that he’s never felt before and even forces a small smile on his face that he doesn’t notice.

the gesture with the jacket took everything of his soul to do. it would be crazy for her not to notice the way his hands shook as he zipped the jacket up for her, his breaths shaking as he stood inches away from her. it’s odd because they’ve spent so many years together yet there is this sudden shyness that he cannot seem to escape.

surely she’s starting to catch on as well, right?

he doesn’t even notice that she’s passed him, muttering ‘shotgun’ as she jogs over to the front seat of the car happily. oscar pats him on the shoulder and shoots him a mean glare to snap him out of his trance.

“if you’re going to be this obvious, i’d be more shocked that she hasn’t caught on yet,” oscar mutters with caution before walking out.

logan drags his feet out of the house, slumping his shoulders when he realises that he has to sit at the back. he just shrugs before oscar opens the door to the driver’s seat. “you and i both, dude.”

“see you later, mate.” logan barely lands a pat on her shoulder before walking away, approaching frederik at the other end of the garage.

she looks at the shoulder that he didn’t even touch before her eyes follow the boy now jogging towards his friend. is she going insane or is logan avoiding her?

since they’d gone and grabbed food together 3 weeks ago, it’s been different. logan’s been speaking to her less, keeping conversations short and he barely even looks her in the eye. she can’t say there’s ever been a time that this has ever happened for this long.

she excused it for logan being busy initially, but 3 weeks is too long.

“hey, are you alright?” mick comes up behind her with a small smile and a hand on her back. “you’ve just been standing there for a good minute by yourself.”

“i’m… do you think i’m annoying?” she whispers, eyes wide as her brain goes at a rate it’s never gone before. she starts walking with mick and looks down, bracing herself for his answer.

“what? why would you say that?” he says softly, tilting his head. “did something happen? another reporter get on your nerves?”

she sighs, shaking her head. she looks over her shoulder again where logan walked off before and sighs again as she meets mick’s eyes momentarily. “no… i don’t know… i feel like oscar and logan are avoiding me.”

mick hums, looking around with eyebrows furrowed. surely she is just overthinking it, right? for as long as he’s known any of them, they’ve been inseparable. he can’t think of a time where either logan or oscar went without mentioning her once in a conversation.

it’s like their worlds revolved around her.

“i don’t know, mate,” mick slings an arm over her shoulder as they talk, “maybe just give it some time? it’s a busy weekend and you know they’re your best friends.”

she shrugs. “i guess you’re right. maybe they’re just busy.”

but she can’t just shake away the feeling of something not being right.

“i’m gonna tell her.”

“are you stupid?”

“what? no.”

“then don’t tell her.”

logan puts his hands on his hips, chewing on the inside of his cheek. he stares at oscar with a bewildered expression. “why not?”

oscar mirrors his expression. how stupid can logan be right now? “if she doesn’t reciprocate, then what are you going to do? we literally live with her. tell me what you’re going to do when you tell her you’re in love with her and she doesn’t feel the same way.”

the american throws his hands into the air. “i’m not in love with her!”

“it doesn’t feel that way lately!”

“i have a small crush on her. doesn’t mean that i’m in love with her, okay? and in my head, if i tell her and she doesn’t feel the same way, then it’ll make it easier to move on.”

“babe, i– crush on who?” lily tilts her head, walking into the room with a curious stare. “logan has a crush on somebody? i swear i had this same conversation speculating just 5 minutes ago.”

oscar turns around wide-eyed at his girlfriend. “nobody.”

logan sighs. “oh, lily’s not stupid. you know who i have a crush on.”

the brit blinks blankly at the 2 boys in the room. “no, i don’t.” she tilts her head as she threads the room cautiously. “am i supposed to kn– no way.”

logan nods. “yes way.”

“and you knew this whole time and you’ve been lying to me?” lily shrieks, smacking oscar’s shoulder. “why didn’t you just tell me?”

“so you could tell her and mess up our dynamic? no way!” oscar scoffs, scratching his head in frustration. “listen, i actually like living in her big house with her family. and i actually also like being best friends with her — she’s nice to me.”

“she’s nice to me too,” logan points out.

“that’s different — you’re actually in love with her.”

“i’m not in love with her!”

“you guys have got to start talking to her again,” lily mutters as she climbs into the backseat of oscar’s car. she inches forward and glances out at the window where the younger girl slowly walks over to them. “you’re killing her.”

logan turns around, shaking his leg as he keeps his hands on the steering wheel. “you’re asking too much of me!”

“i do talk to her!” oscar defends himself, throwing his hands into the air. “but i can’t keep a straight conversation with her without wanting to tell her that our best friend is in love with her!”

the urge to tell her gets worse every single time. she’s just blabbing on all the time oblivious to the fact that their best friend spends countless hours talking about how majestic she is.

“i’m not in love with her!” logan scolds, reaching out to smack oscar on the shoulder. he looks at lily and presses his lips together. “and i try to talk to her, okay? but it’s hard.”

and he really does, but she’s got this need for eye contact when she talks to people; it makes it all the harder not to start rambling about how she’s got him wrapped around her fingers currently. it’s just so unfair how she doesn’t know the effect that she’s got on him.

he can barely keep a conversation with her, his defences crumbling when their eyes meet, stuttering and losing his words. and for a guy like logan, feeling like this for someone is beyond his comprehension. it’s just not something he thinks he can get used to.

“well, you’ve got to keep it together! she’s been really upset lately!” lily mutters, smacking both of their shoulders.

logan sighs. “surely, it’s not that–”

the back door opens and the girl slides into her seat with a polite smile. “hi,” she greets them with a small nod. she doesn’t wait for a response before she puts her airpods in and starts to type away on her phone.

“i told you,” lily mouths to the two boys in the front seats, rolling her eyes as she sits back with her arms folded over her chest.

her jaw drops slightly, eyes watering at the conversation she was definitely not meant to overhear. she steps away from the doorframe she hid behind and slumps her shoulders. "you what?"

the two boys, engaged in a whispering conversation just seconds ago, widen their eyes as they turn their heads to the source of the shocked voice.

she had fallen asleep on her couch as they played video games on the playstation, and they had to have a private conversation about logan’s lingering stares and silent pining.

immediately, logan starts stuttering and flailing his hands around to come up with an excuse for what she could have possibly heard. "i- i mean.. like-"

"the girl you fancy is me?" she asks slowly, then turning to oscar. "and you kept this a secret from me the entire time?"

"no, just let me explain, god," logan smacks his forehead, trying to calm the girl down. "will you listen to me for a second?"

oscar presses his lips together and drops his head in disappointment. "i couldn't tell you. don't be like that."

"you guys made me feel like i was going crazy thinking you didn't wanna be friends with me anymore," she complains, stomping her foot into the ground. "i felt like i didn't even know you guys so well in the past month. i felt like you guys were pushing me away."

"what? no, please just listen to me. this is all my fault."

"i thought you guys didn't even wanna be friends with me anymore. all of that to find out that it's because you just suddenly realised i'm cute?" she bursts, giving logan a look. "seriously? you didn't notice that years ago when we first met?"

oscar lifts his head, his look of disappointment quickly replaced by confusion. logan also drops his hands, head tilting at her response.

he had a list formed of possible ways she could react if his secret ever came out. this was not one of them.

"pardon?"

"we've been friends for so long growing up. you think that i never had a crazy puppy crush on either of you?" she scowls at them, wiping the few tears that managed to escape her eyes. "get a grip, my dudes!"

"what?" logan screams. "you're telling me i've been in over my head for literally nothing because you've had a crush on me too?"

"had?"

"you've got a crush on him right now? and me before?" oscar exclaims in disbelief, pointing at logan. "and we never knew? seriously?"

she shrugs, folding her arms over her chest with a smug smile. "i'm just better at keeping secrets compared to you guys, i guess."

she turns on her heel and walks out of the kitchen. “you’ll get over it. trust me. i’m actually in the process of getting over my crush on you, lo.”

but she’s never been more wrong about anything in her life.

logan leans on his car, elbow propped on the roof of his car and chin in his palm. he taps away on his phone as he lazily enjoys the breeze of oxford while he waits.

“i thought you were going to be late?” she hums, tilting her head as she approaches him. she’s got his jacket around her shoulders and an eye squinted from the sun shining brightly above them. “i took all the time i could walking out of campus.”

he shrugs, pushing himself off the car and slips his phone into his pocket. “traffic cleared up a while back. where’s lily?”

she shrugs back at him with a soft giggle. she jogs over to him and wraps her arms around him momentarily before quickly pulling away. “thanks for picking me up, by the way.”

logan throws his head back with a snort, folding his arms over his chest. “did i have a choice?”

he knew better than to decline her wide eyes asking him to please pick him up from campus after an entire day of classes. that, and that fact that it’s just so difficult to say no to her when it came to things like this.

“very funny,” she laughs with a playful eye roll as she rounds the car to the other side. “lily has something on with another module. let’s head out to dinner, you and i?”

he grins and unlocks his car. “yep. let’s go.”

"what's wrong?" worry paints her face as he starts acting calmer than before. her eyes follow logan's hands, lifted up to her face as he tries to brush back her stray hair behind her ears. "are you alright?"

"have i ever told you," he pauses to trace a line down her cheek with his fingertips, "how pretty you are?"

"only when you're drunk," she whispers back with a playful smile. "did you ingest some kind of poison and you've only got a couple minutes to live? is that why you're like this?"

"no," he shakes his head. a small smile appears on his face, tucking a finger under his chin to lift her eyes up to meet his. "i just think you look very pretty. i don't tell you that often."

she admits she almost felt her knees buckle at his words and melt on the ground at his words. logan had never been a very outwardly affectionate type unless he's drunk, so while this is expected behaviour out of him, it's never gotten quite as intimate as this.

she's had him fall asleep with his head in her lap before on the couch, but never has he been this close to her while whispering sweet words at her.

"it would be weird."

"it shouldn't be."

"logan, are you alright?"

he doesn't respond. and she freezes in her spot when his hand drags along her skin, cupping her cheek as he leans down into her. and he would have done it. he would have kissed her but something stops him.

it could’ve been the sheer reminder that they’re supposed to be just best friends. just that, nothing more and nothing less.

he stops himself right as their noses touch and sighs shakily, holding himself up with a hand on her arm. “i’m sorry.”

she lets out a soft sigh and forces a grin on her face. she grabs his shoulders to stabilise him, “do you need to throw up?”

“i think so,” he mutters with a hand on his chest. he turns to look at her with a heaving chest and puffy lips. “can you help me back to the villa please?”

she chuckles, approaching him with her arms held out. “okay, let’s get you back, mate.”

she stands in front of the bedroom door, stuffed bear in hand with a soft huff as she awaits a response.

the door opens, revealing logan in his pyjamas and dishevelled hair. he blinks for a few moments before realising who’s standing at the door. “oh, hi.”

“i couldn’t sleep,” she sighs softly, pursing her lips and slouching slightly. “can i sleep in oscar’s bed?”

logan blinks. he tries to think of what oscar would say if he consulted the australian about what to say in response to her question.

his heart has a simple answer: yes, let her spend the night in your bedroom. but his mind, clearly going with logic, knows exactly the solution to avoid getting himself into deeper shit: maybe you shouldn’t let her because it will complicate things.

guess which answer logan chooses.

“yeah, of course.” logan takes a step back and beckons her into the room. “what’s wrong? nightmare? watched a horror movie all by yourself again and scared yourself?”

“yeah,” she grins sheepishly, climbing onto oscar’s bed.

lie. she couldn’t fall asleep at the thought of logan and her almost kissing a week ago on their trip to the bahamas. and since oscar’s not here to put a stop to their antics, she did the one thing she knows would put her to sleep, or at least to a calmer state of mind.

“oh, what did you watch?” logan giggles, closing the door behind him. “do you need me to turn the nightlight on again?”

she smiles, shaking her head. “just insidious. i got bored while i was doing my homework.”

“you should really start watching that with someone around,” logan sighs, walking over to his bed on the other side of the room. “you know how insidious gets you all jumpy and weird.”

“yeah, i barely made it to 20 minutes of the movie,” she laughs, sighing as she drops her back on the bed. she pulls the blankets up and tucks herself under them. “anyway, thanks for letting me sleep here tonight.”

“of course, dude.”

logan finds himself at her university campus once more, leaning up against the side of his car as he awaits the girl to meet up with him.

he hears heels clicking against the gravel of the university parking lot, making him raise his head in anticipation with a wide grin.

“aw, happy birthday, dude!” logan cheers, opening his arms to the girl approaching him. “how were your classes?”

she sighs heavily, rolling her eyes. “horrid.”

“you left before oscar and i could make you pancakes for breakfast,” logan frowns, squeezing her slightly as she stumbles into his body. “we’re going to take you out for pancakes instead.”

“wow, pancakes for dinner?” she giggles with a hand on her chest. “how lovely.”

“and ice cream,” logan beams with a grin. he gently reaches forward to take her laptop into his hands along with the bag on her shoulder. “because it’s your birthday–”

“where’s my gift?” she teases, hopping forward to rest her chin on his arm. she looks up at him with puffed cheeks and wide eyes. “you promised me a present this year.”

logan blinks blankly at her. he looks at the way she’s cosied up into his body and then back into her eyes. “it’s with oscar.”

she blinks, taking a step back as she realises how close she’s gotten to him. “so you got me a present? how sweet of you, logan.”

“you threatened me to get you a present,” logan scoffs with a roll of his eyes. he starts laughing along with her, shoving her things into the backseat of his car. “as i was saying, because it’s your birthday, i’m giving you 2 options: to drive my car, or to not.”

he flashes her his car keys, dangling them high enough in the air for her to not reach them.

“i’m getting spoiled this year with options,” she laughs, jumping into the air to snatch the key out of logan’s hands. “i wouldn’t turn down the chance to drive your car and send you into cardiac arrest.”

she walks around logan to run over to the driver’s side of the car. “don’t forget to wear your seatbelt.”

“i wouldn’t ever dare if you’re the one driving.”

gen taglist: @33-81 @darleneslane @namgification @localwhoore @happy-nico @nikfigueiredo

[iheartsebastianmichaelis]

Stress.

⚠️: minors dni, sensorial uncomfort and corporal pain description, AFAB but gender neutral reader, fingering, mirror sex.

you have been very tense the last few days. social gatherings among the aristocracy did nothing but put you in a bad mood and stress you out when you lost track of the insignificant and trivial conversations among the nobles. you only attended for education, potential business partners, and the luxurious and unusual food they served, which clearly did not compare to the art that Sebastian had the luxury of creating in the kitchen.

on this occasion you were returning from a party with a baron whose name you had already forgotten because it seemed so irrelevant to you. maybe you had wasted time, but at least you could cross off one more item on your to-do list.

when you got out of the carriage and entered the mansion you were a mess: your hair felt sweaty, your suit was worn out, and your shoes had gotten dirty because of a clumsy waiter who tripped on you at the party. you sighed heavily, walking up the stairs towards your room while Sebastian followed behind you.

"your grace, i will prepare the bathtub with hot water to help you relax your body, in the meantime please wait in your room."

"okay, don't take so long."

"as you wish."

you entered your room and lazily began to undress, the cold of the night gave you a chill due to the abrupt change in temperature, giving you goosebumps. even with good weather setting your night, you couldn't get the frustration out of your body. so unbearable it was that even a slight pain in your temple appeared without warning.

a gentle knock on the door brought you back to reality, you knew it was Sebastian and with that an idea came to your head.

"master, may I come in?"

you were almost naked, only wearing your underwear but that was just a part of what you had in mind. with your head clear of doubts you nodded at yourself.

"sure."

Sebastian opened the door and his eyes widened in surprise. he never had seen his authority figure in such detail before, so it was only natural for him to ask your reasoning.

"good grief", he sighed "although I came here to inform you that the bathtub is ready, i can notice you weren't. i apologize if that's the case, i think it would be better for me to leave the room to give you more privacy."

"no, stay here. i wanna ask you something."

"how can i help you now?"

"i read on a book that people use to release stress with their bodies, do you know something about it?"

"i've certainly heard of that, your grace, humans usually can find relieve stimulating their bodies."

you sighed heavily as you placed your hands on your hips.

"I want to try it."

"oh? may i ask why, your grace?"

"are you seriously that much worried about wasting the bathtub water, Sebastian?" you asked teasingly, playful smile on your face. "there's no need to explain such easy understanding things, don't you think?"

he only chuckled.

you cupped his face with your hands and looked at him seriously.

"it's an order, destress me."

"yes, my master."

...

after a passionate making out session with your butler, you sat on the edge of the bed in front of your mirror, him before you and caressing your cheek with his hand.

he suddenly positioned himself on his knees in front of you and asked permission, with his exploring hands Sebastian waited for your response. a slight nod of your head was enough to give him the green light to continue. he made his way to your intimate area, leaving a trail of wet kisses, stopping right at your mound and giving a light bite to your thigh before retiring your panties. now, his sinful tongue began to trace a slow and pleasant up and down pattern on your slit. your mind felt foggy, his tongue was slightly making you feel more and more impatient when he thrusted vaguely into you or sucked on your clit vehemently. as time passed by and your moans became more loud he knew you were close to your climax so he stopped dead, surprising you and making you pout.

"i don't remember telling you to stop, Sebastian." you said frustrated.

"and I won't, excellency." he said with a calm, smug face while removing his gloves.

Sebastian then moved behind you, cradling you in his arms and slowly sliding them to your wet, sweet spot. starting with two fingers, he massaged your clit, giving gentle strokes and moving it in circles. your head was now tilted back and resting on his shoulder, soft whines leaving your mouth.

"oya, oya. someone's acting so eager already, aren't you dear?"

"s-shut up."

the clear and humiliating expression reflected on your face in the mirror was enough to motivate sebastian to tease and mock you.

you hissed and bit your lips every time he increased the speed or his strength in his movements between your folds. the moans you let out did nothing but invite him to continue taking them out of your mouth.

two of his long, thin fingers made their presence felt inside your wet interior, he thrust into you with confidence and strength, but not to the point of being painful or overwhelming. Just like he had said, you were excited. your hips moved back and forth, seeking to bury his fingers to your sweetest spot if that was possible.

"please keep going like that, haah."

"understood." he placed a kiss on your neck, making you tremble.

when he could deduce that you were close again, he moved his fingers faster and his thumb got busy giving soft and pleasant half-moons on your clit. your breathing became faster and your mouth got rid of all shame, letting out loud, pleasurable moans into Sebastian's ear.

"that's it, just follow what your body leads you to." he whispered into your ear before kissing and licking it.

suddenly you felt a chill and an energizing spasm run through your entire body, your back arched and your tongue slightly stuck out of your mouth. your legs were shaking and your chest was rising and falling: you had reached your orgasm. with your face burning with embarrassment you looked down and noticed the mess that was dripping onto his fingers that were still inside you. He gently gave small thrusts trying to prolong your ecstasy, you only hummed and moaned his name in response.

when Sebastian considered it was enough, he took his fingers out of you, kissing your neck and jaw, trying to massage your chest and collarbones with his clean hand, in order to help you relax your body.

"and... did this help you, your grace?"

you nodded frantically, but then noticed he got up from your behind and your back was surprised with the messy and warm sheets.

you looked up at him, noticing how he started to unbuckle his belt.

"I can try another method to destress you, excellency. just say the word, say my name and allow me to do the rest."

A/N: hii sorry for dying lol but happy season 4 for everyone LMAO!! I literally screamed and fell to the ground seeing profesor Michaelis 🤭 anyway, listen: i TRIED so bad to write actually smut but i swear i need to go bit by bit cuz i just suck 😭😭 sorry if this is so messy 💀

[genderqueerdykes]

I (21 AFAB) honestly feel like my femininity is more like transfemininity than cisfemininity. I'm autistic and intersex(ish? I've got hypoestrogenism) and spent a lot of my life (10 to 20) identifying as transmasculine. I've had top surgery and I was on testosterone around 3 years. I was cis male passing at 14 and 15, and again at 19 through...uhh... now sorta. I still pass as a young man (although people might think I'm a trans boymoder) if I speak in "guy" voice. I'm seen as female enough to not have any issues in women's restrooms since I started using them, but I stay quiet and use the men's room if I look too masc. I identify I guess as a girl, but not as a cisgender one, and not in the way that a binary woman would call herself one. I also identify as androgynous (or an androgyne). I'm submitting this ask sort of hoping that it makes sense how I feel connected to transfemininity and not cisfemininity. I'm also wondering if anyone else feels the same?

heya! that's actually almost exactly my experience, and many other peoples'. i've been wanting to explain this for a really long time so i hope this will make sense

often times when someone afab or transmasculine transitions and either pauses or stays on a lowish dose of T, our genders get garbled in the eyes of strangers. i don't know how to say it any other way than: often times when trans people who have taken testosterone for long enough have gotten deep voices, 'masc' faces, facial hair, etc. are dressed in a feminine way they will get read as a transfeminine person. like this is an extremely common phenomenon

we instantly become fags and "those type of girls". like it really doesn't take much for queerphobes to perk up. a little 'gay/tranny voice'. a little too limp wristed. when they see strong jaws, Adam's apples, strong cheekbones, and long hair they assume MtF. if the trans person is packing or had phallo things can escalate further, especially if they have breasts.

it's poetic and a bit silly but sometimes people's experiences are so deviated from the standard definition of "man" "male" "female" "woman" that they have to, in a way, transition into that identity for the first time. a lot of intersex people, poc, gender non conforming, people, gay folks, non binary people, lesbians and butches have gotten heavily misgendered as children. sometimes you just were not allowed to be that gender you were assigned at first and it's okay if you feel you're transitioning into that, especially given where you're coming from and where you're headed

i identify as transfemme for many reasons, but this is one of them. i was NOT allowed to be a girl as a child. i was deemed too masc. my nose was too big. my hooded eyes were too masc. i didn't wear flowery or feminine clothing. i acted like a boy. i had a very shitty haircut because my hair was causing me dysphoria. my mom kept calling me butch and a bulldyke. nobody saw me as a girl. i never was one until i transitioned into womanhood as an adult. there i found out i love being a butch woman- but i've had to fight for it.

i also use androgynous and androgyne :)

it's okay if you feel like youre headed on that path. i have met so many people who fall under this umbrella of experiences. many people use transfemasc or transmascfem, some people just call themselves whatever. folks who feel the same feel free to share input. thanks for stopping by, let us know if you need anything else

[ivorydragoness44]

Van Helsing x Reader: Up To The Task

Word Count: tba

Warnings/Notes: mentions of an injury (not graphic), snarky banter. Gender neutral reader.

Summary: The Reader finds an injured Van Helsing. But does he want help?

The night was cold, more so when a eerily gentle breeze brushed across your exposed skin. You adjusted the scarf around your neck. The temperature usually did not bother you, but there was just something particularly odd that night.

As you walked along the cobbled streets, you scarcely passed by anyone. It was late. Why would anyone be wandering around at such an hour? But you were.

Heavy labored breathing caught your attention. Whoever it was sounded tired as you approached a gap between two buildings. You slowed your pace to one of caution.

There on the ground sat a man, leaning against the sturdy wall. His head was reclined, as if looking up to the sky in a time of need. But when he heard your shoe make contact with a particularly loud spot on the ground, he noticed you.

Looking over his shoulder, you could just make out the face under the rim of his hat. The most wanted man in all of Europe. What were the odds? Though, as the situation may be, hopefully the odds were in your favor.

His eyes shifted over, catching yours. "You never saw me." Giving you a stern once over as you stepped between the buildings, he huffed to himself.

Initially, you were not going to engage, but something told you otherwise. "You're hard to miss, Mister Van Helsing." Not moving for a moment, you watched him. Analyzing. However, he made no move toward you. It went against everything you had ever heard about the man. But then again, what was the word of other people? People who had only witnessed him at a distance or not at all.

Stepping around him, you looked for the source of his visible discomfort. You followed up the length of his arm. At his shoulder, you noticed the wound. Cut through his coat and sweater, it was a nasty little gash by the redness soaked into the ripped fabric. His gloved hand pressed against it. "You're hurt."

He gave a dry laugh. "I've had worse." Smile faltering with a quiet snarl of pain.

"I'm sure you have."

Inching closer to him, you knelt down to his level. You reached out, but he made no move to stop you. Not even a glance, until he was within their reach. You moved aside his dark hair. The wavy locks distracting you momentarily. "For a terrible wanted man, you have such kitten soft hair."

Thick brows knitting together, he frowned at you. "And what do you think you're doing?"

"Helping an injured person," you said. You stilled your hand to try to get a better look at his injury. "Who...or...what caused this?"

A weak smile pulled up the corner of his mouth. "Heh...I think it's best if you didn't know."

You nodded. "Fair enough. But for now, I'm going to at least tend to those wounds. Let someone help you for a change, Mister Van Helsing."

"That would be a change... Wouldn't it?"

With his strange excuse for consent, you continued. Pushing his coat off, you tried your best to be gentle. At least he helped with meagerly shaking his arm out of the sleeve. You needed better access to reach and look at his shoulder.

Slowly, you pinched at the soft fabric. Managing to lift it out of the way, you finally got a better view of his injury. With scarce moonlight and street lamps to aid you, you peeked underneath at his skin. "It doesn't look to bad."

"It sure feels like it." He grumbled, trying to get a look at it for himself.

"I thought you said you'd had worse?." You eyed him with playful skepticism.

"That was before you touched it."

"My apologies." You said, releasing the material from the grasp.

He sucked in a breath and gave a smile. "I don't think anyone's ever apologied to me. Not that they had any reason to."

Your brows furrowed at his words. "Never?"

"No," he replied quietly.

"Hmm, well, there's always a first time for everything." Straightening up, you uncoiled your scarf from around your neck.

"I guess that's true." He eyed you then with soft confusion. "What are you--?"

Grabbing ahold of his arm, you pulled it away from his body. "Small injury or not, we can't have you with an open wound in this night air." Gingerly, you wrapped your scarf around his shoulder. Only a small muffled groan or two was kept restrained from him as you did so.

"There," you said, tucking the fabric into itself. "Now, being that it was your shoulder, I can safely assume that you can stand. Unless there's another wound that you have failed to mention."

Though he pursed his lips together, his brown eyes held no harshness. Without a word, grounded his boots and pushed himself up from the wall, taking his coat with him.

As you stood as well, you took into account his confident stature. It must have been like second nature to him. But what could have ever happened to make him as such a man?

"Satisfied?" He asked, his features becoming strikingly more playful despite his ordeal.

You gave a small smile. Fearing him did not seem possible, but there was one thing you did not think to be worried about before. The fear of being captivated by him.

"Come, Mister Van Helsing," you beckoned as you stepped around him. "Your wound needs to be cleaned and dressed."

"You're going to trust a stranger into your home?"

"You trusted a stranger to check your injury," you countered.

"Touché."

[trancylovecraft]

(AOEX) The Blood Of An Unwilling Covenant

PART 7 OF 8: Lucifer

(Yandere Platonic Demon Kings (Ba'al) x Reader)

SERIES SUMMARY:

BARISTA'S NOTE: sECOND TO LAST PART LETS GO!!!!! GENDER: Femme FANDOM: Blue Exorcist

☀☾☁☂★☀☾☁☂★☀☾☁☂★☀☾☁☂★☀☾☁☂★☀☾☁☂★☀☾☁☂★☀☾☁☂★

LAST PART ,AO3 LINK, SERIES MASTERLIST, NEXT PART

"Camera.. Check! Phone.. Check! Spare change of clothes.. Erm.."

Curtains half drawn over murky windows let light flood into the room, The early morning sun being not deterred by the soot dusting the window panes. It shone on the mess in the room, Shine rolling off ceramics and other illuminating surfaces.

Jars filled with demon bio-produce were piled up to the walls, Heavy-bound books of all sorts being just as tall. Clothes thrown everywhere, A mix of both hers and Lewins. All of it made for a gnarly sight and smell to come under.

But it was nothing compared to the current mess, If that was even possible. The old musty couch was strewn with more clothes than normal. TV still blaring some American cartoon as [F/N] paced back and forth between place to place.

She was somehow able to get around the place with relative ease. Opening up box after box stacked up top everywhere, Apartment still barely moved into.

"Heya.. You good there?" Lewin drawled as he watched [F/N] run back and forth to rummage through all the boxes in the room. Lewin himself was currently lazing upon the old burgundy couch, The one that had cushions torn and had been picked up on the side of the road by none other by the man himself.

[F/N] was almost foaming at the mouth, Even more so once she snapped her head over to him.

"Have you seen any of my clothes around here? I can't find the box with all my stuff in it- Ugh.." [F/N] winced once she drew her arm back out, A thick blue glow wrapped around it and hugging it tight with a slimy touch. A demon, And by the shape it took? No doubt a baby kraken.

Lewin, Ironically, Cracked a smile once he saw it.

"Oops, My bad!" He chuckled, Instantly raising a lazy hand to somehow shoo the demon away. "Linnaeus!"

And just as the demon had came, It had vanished at the summary of it's fatal verse. It seemed to writhe, Spasming and shaking before finally the grip around her loosened entirely. It fell, Hitting the floor as it's blue light started to flicker.

[F/N] looked at it's crumpled body, Disgust running through her features.

"Yeah, Keep your demons in their pens.. Damn it, Lew'.. This isn't the first time.." She scoffed, Pinching her brows with her now-free hand.

"Seriously.. You doin' good? I can see wrinkle lines appearing on your head." Lewin said, Gesturing to his own forehead hidden behind his mop of hair. She groaned, [F/N]'s eyes narrowing in on him.

"It's just.. I can't find my clothes and I need a separate pair in case these ones get ruined! Like I've already got my camera, A few notebooks.. Summoning papers, You know- But I still need my spare change and I can't find it for the life of me!" [F/N] exasperated, Sweat dusting her face.

"Don't you think you got enough?" Lewin said, Pointing over to the backpack sitting atop one of the heaps which so happened to be stuffed full of various items. All of which she listed, Including several other artefacts that seemed weird to where she'd be going.

"Not nearly! Since I wasn't able to go on the camping trip thing, I need to make sure I get everything right this time. It's gonna be a real big day for me!" [F/N] said as she turned back towards the boxes, Feverishly shifting through the contents once more.

Lewin grinned.

"Hah, You and me both.."

The True Cross Festival, The big day. Games, Dances, Fireworks, Food, Festivities. The event that every student in the school had been waiting for ever since they had been accepted into the institution.

Whispers of plans floated through the hallways, Excited chitters leading up to the day. God, [F/N] had been hearing it every second of the day just the week before. And now the big day was finally here.

For many it was a opportunity to ask out their crush due to the entry requirements, To others it was a time to relax and make memories. But to [F/N], It was a prime opportunity to investigate.

"Finally!" She grinned, Opening up another box to find all of her clothes packed neatly inside. Sweaters, Jeans and other types of accessories started to be yanked out of the box and into her arms.

Lewin watched as she piled another few pairs of clothing into her arms, Both for cold and hot weather and even another pair of underwear before hurriedly rushing over her bag and trying to stuff it all inside.

He pushed himself up to a sitting position on the old couch, Yawning lazily as he stretched.

"As I've said- You could really use to loose a few things in there, Ain't this suppose to be something you enjoy?" Lewin yawned once he finally stopped stretching, Staring at her from under his hair as she continued to try push the clothing into the overflowing bag.

"No- It's a way I can get more information about what's going down in there. Like the traitor and the blue night, The things we spoke about-" [F/N] said, Slightly wheezing as she tried to shove and shove everything down in there to no avail. Sweat gathering quicker on her face.

She tried once more, [F/N] pushing down the items on top.

All before she felt the arm of Lewin lightly tug at her wrist, Making her retract it quickly from her bag.

"Hey- What are you-"

"Oh yeah, Definetly overflowing.."

"Lewin- What are you doing?! Hey! Stop touching my stuff!"

"Keeping a few daggers in here? How'd you expect to get past security with all that?"

"Lewin stop it! It took ages to get everything in there! Stop it!"

"Okay, Maybe you can keep the summoning papers.."

"Thank you- HEY! That's my camera, Put it back! Put it back!"

"Aaaand, Ta-da!"

And just like that, The bag that [F/N] had so desperately tried to fill to the brim had depressed almost half it's weight before. Space now very much available inside, Only items spared being her general exorcism stuff and a few new things that Lewin had taken the liberty to throw in.

[F/N]'s jaw was as agape as her eyes, Staring into the new emptiness of her bag that Lewin had dared to meddle in.

"Lew'! Why the hell did you do that?! It took me ages to get everything in there, I need it all if I want to go snoop around in the school! You know, To help me get you evidence?!" [F/N] hissed as she placed her hands on her hips, Angrily staring up at Lewin who still had a lazy smile on his face.

He nodded, Scratching the back of his head.

"Yeah, Yeah. And you've been working really hard to do that! I mean you've already helped lead me to one of the traitors, And trust me, I appreciate that a bunch.. But I think you need to calm down." Lewin said.

[F/N] frowned as she looked at him, Aghast in her eyes yet somehow still mellowing out. Just a few months ago he had specifically told her to do some digging, Now he was telling her to stop it?

[F/N] scoffed.

"But.. But wasn't this something you wanted me to do? You know, Investigate? You can't tell me to stop once I've got invested in it too!" [F/N] exclaimed, Stepping closer to him.

Ever since she had the meeting in Mephisto's office, [F/N] had became just as enthralled as Lewin was in the investigation. Ever since she had gotten that horrid feeling about him, [F/N] knew that she needed to dig in more.

Snooping around teachers rooms, Sifting through file cabinets not meant for her. She had already gotten information and passed it over to Lewin, So after all this work how could he just tell her not to go further?

Lewin sighed.

"But I also said that you should get some friends, And hey! You have with all those exwires! I'm just thinking that you spend this time bonding like you kids usually do." Lewin explained as he in turn stepped closer, The two of them now staring eye to eye.

"They're not my friends.. They're just my classmates.." [F/N] said, And even she knew it was a lie.

"Whatever you say, Ya' munchkin. Just go out and have fun, Forget about the investigation for a few hours and I promise I'll let you throw rocks at the traitor I'm about to catch later." Lewin promised, Playfully reaching out a hand with his pinkie stuck up.

[F/N] huffed, Almost about to comment on his childish behaviour before she brushed it off and wrapped a pinkie of her own around his.

"Whatever.. You better keep your promise though, I've been dying to throw rocks at someone for ages now." She pouted, Pinky finger still firmly wrapped around Lewin's own.

He grinned.

"Of course. You just go have fun, Buy me a souvenir and I'll come back and pick you up at ten, Afterwards we'll hit a burger joint and then I'll let you throw rocks at him. Sound good?" Lewin asked.

[F/N] smiled.

"Yeah.." She said, Trying not to show her grin as she shied her view away from him.

And just like that, The hand that Lewin had joined with [F/N]'s pulled her closer. And before [F/N] knew it his thick arms wrapped around her, Bringing her into a hug.

[F/N] was surprised, Muscles tensing up as she felt his head rest atop hers which was currently pushed into the side of his chest. Lewin had not often hugged her before, Never showed much affection other than playful little punches.

But here he was, Bringing her in without restraint. [F/N] barely even cared about his horrible stench, Not when a hand rested on the back of her head, Another on her back. And just maybe, She started to relax.

Only a little.

"Now go scamper outta here, You're gonna miss your bus!" Lewin laughed as he pulled away from her, The silence he had undertaken before now broken. [F/N] was still standing in slight shock, Eyes wide as she looked up at him.

She blinked, Snapping back into reality.

"R-Right!" [F/N] exclaimed, Finally catching eye of the clock on the far wall. [F/N] tried to gather her thoughts once she gathered her stuff, Grabbing her bag strap and tossing it over her shoulder.

"See you soon, Lew'!" [F/N] called out, Finally reaching the door and turning the knob as she stepped out. She waved goodbye to him and he waved back with a lazy smile, Watching as she sprinted out the door.

A yellow raincoat hanging untouched on the hanger by the door.

☆♡☆

"Hey, Guys! Over here!"

The sun was held bright in the sky, A beautiful sight with no clouds to be seen, Just pure cerulean blue.

The uproar of chatter was already in the air, Sounds of people frolicking around the newly made stalls was the only thing in earshot. Rich smells of meat sizzling and the saccharine scent of sugar was also the only thing you could smell, The festival already starting to gain traction.

"Is that [F/N]? I thought she said she wasn't coming?" Konekomaru said, Turning his head as he watched her run over to them, Smiling slightly at being proven wrong.

"Huh? Oh- I guess she changed her mind!"

The air was fresh, [F/N] could tell as it flew behind her as she pranced over to the group standing just outside the entrance to the festivities. Their figures instantly recognisable as she stuttered to a halt in front of them.

"[F/N]! Thought you said you weren't coming?" Shima exclaimed incredulously as he watched her keel over to catch a breath, Eyes wide as he looked her up and down in her sweater and jeans combo.

"Change of plans.. Turns out I can make it after all.." [F/N] wheezed as she wiped the sweat off of her brow, Lungs burning as she raised herself back up to meet the eyes of her group.

Shima, Bon and Konekomaru. The trio of her classmates stood there in their own outfits, Ready for the festival. [F/N] tried to give them the best smile she could, Trying not to make it look like she hadn't dressed like a slob compared to them.

Bon huffed, Folding his arms.

"Seriously? I thought you said that you were gonna study instead since, You know, You failed your last demonic pharmaceuticals test?" He said as he raised a brow, Looking her up and down with that all too familiar judgemental stare.

[F/N] scoffed.

"And miss all the fun? Yeah no, I came to my senses!" [F/N] laughed as she lightly punched Bon on the side of the arm, Who suppressed a smirk as he lightly shoved her back. [F/N] cackled as she stuck out her tongue at him.

Bon rolled his eyes.

"You still need to study!"

"You still need to shut the fuck up!"

"Calm down you two, You're gonna cause a scene!" Konekomaru said, Moving so he was a human-barrier between the two.

Shima shook his head, Dramatically tutting as he looked at the two.

"Yeah, Exactly! You're really killing the mood you know, How am I suppose to get with hot girls if you two are bickering the entire time in the background? I still need to find a girl to get with so I can go to the dance festival later!" Shima whined as he gestured to the crowds packed behind him, All already enjoying the activities of the festival.

"Erm, I'm a girl?" [F/N] said, Gesturing to herself.

"I said hot girls, [F/N]." Shima replied with an innocent smile.

"HEY!"

[F/N] threw an insult back at Shima, To which Shima gave a passive-aggressive response. They barely even noticed when they got dragged off into the festival, Bon groaning as he lugged both [F/N] and Shima along with him, Konekomaru trying his best to calm the two down.

Only snapped out of it once the blaring noise caught up with her, A light shove by Bon and the smell of enticing meats. Blinking once she realised she was surrounded by a crowd and hundreds of stalls that seemed to muddle on the horizon.

She gulped, Sweat running down her brow with a slight smile.

This was gonna be a long day.

☆♡☆

"Aw man.. Never thought I'd say this, But it's good to get away from all the noise.. Huh?"

The sky was dark, Coloured the deepest of ebony blues and starless with all the light below. Unlike the morning there was a noticeable chill in the air, Either due to the passing time or the new altitude which the two had reached.

That saccharine scent was still lingering in the air, Beautiful tastes of all the food she had eaten still on her tongue. It was all so overwhelming to her, Even now as she stared down at the lights of the stalls did she still feel a rush.

One thing to the next, Perpetual motion. [F/N] had moved from stall to stall, Done party game after party game, Went through every classes activity set up from the festival and had laughed and screamed all the same.

They had met with Rin at his food stall and laughed along with him, They had went through the horror house and had gotten a good laugh when she watched Shima get scared by Shiemi. Izumo too they had passed not even a few minutes ago, Still lingering close by.

They had also lost Bon and Konekomaru somewhere else in the crowd, Konekomaru most likely going to talk with his date and Bon could be just about anywhere. So now it was just Shima and her, After everything that happened..

Dizzying, [F/N] felt. She sipped on the straw of the chocolate shake and let the taste try to calm her, Still cold in her hands and dripping down moisture from the sides. It helped, If only a little bit.

"You could say that again.. I mean, How many girls did you try to ask out?" [F/N] said to Shima as she lightly strolled beside him, High above the stalls in the higher part of the city. Looking lightly over the stone balcony to all the chaos below.

"Ugh! I can't even count and I usually always make sure to remember all the pretty faces I talk to!" Shima exasperated as he dragged his feet alongside her, Seemingly just as worn out from the celebrations as she was.

[F/N] rolled her eyes, Continuing to slurp on her milkshake.

"Just how much stuff I bought on it's own..! You know, My master insisted on emptying my bag before I got here and I'm actually kinda glad he did, Otherwise I wouldn't be able to carry all this.." [F/N] sighed as she readjusted the heaving backpack weighing her down, All stuffed to the brim with all the merchandise she knew her and Lewin would like.

He had slipped his card into her backpack, Something she had found out when rummaging through it. He had trusted her enough to spend his money wisely, Or more accurately trusted her to spend as much of his six-figure salary as she possibly could.

[F/N] smiled, Quietly thanking Lewin under her breath.

"..You and Lightning close?"

"Where'd that come from?" [F/N] asked as she turned to Shima, Who seemed to look back at her with a much more curious expression under the nights sky. Shima just smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"Dunno, I guess I'm just curious is all. Since you were already his apprentice before joining cram school or whatever, You two related or something?" Shima asked as they made their way towards the balcony, The one overlooking the sea of lights below and where the wind flowed openly.

[F/N] huffed as she continued to drink her milkshake, Leaning over on the stone railings to look out below.

"Not biologically, No. But you know that trope you see in movies? The dickhead older brother who always messes with your stuff and annoys you to high hell? Yeah, That's him." [F/N] said, Rolling her eyes with a slight smirk.

Shima smiled rather forlornly as he leaned over on the balcony like she did, Light reflecting in his eyes.

"Yeah, I get that." He laughed slightly.

"Ah, Okay. Cause of all your brothers, Right?" [F/N] asked as she drew her eyes off the crowds for only a moment, Just to see Shima stare right back off into it. He didn't smile, Just nodded slowly.

He didn't speak either, The smile drawn on [F/N]'s face starting to lessen at the sound of silence. Instead she just brought her eyes back over to the sea of lights, Looking at the crowds below enjoying the festivities.

[F/N] sipped on her milkshake, Tasting the chocolate on her tongue. She should have known that his brothers would've been something difficult to talk about, Ever since the trip to Kyoto she had known something was off.

Especially since the death of the eldest, [F/N] should've taken that as the first sign. She continued sipping on her milkshake, A sort of scratchiness starting to build up in her throat. Shima never really talked about his brothers, Not here nor there.

[F/N] continued to sip on her milkshake, The lights starting to become much more.. Bright. Her nose scrunched up as she turned her head up to meet Shima, Who now seemed to be looking back down at her.

He smiled, Almost awkwardly.

"..Shima, I don't feel so good." [F/N] told him as she finally removed the straw from her mouth, Looking at her milkshake with a sort of queasiness in her eyes. A lightness in her head, A new stutter when she tried to stand.

What was happening? Her fingers started to shake, The muscles much more relaxed than they were suppose to be as the milkshake fell to the floor and splattered across the rocks. She stumbled, [F/N] starting to see two of each in her vision.

Shima hummed, Watching her gait with an unconcerned gaze.

"That must be the Rophynol finally kicking in then." He replied casually as he watched her start to double over.

[F/N] raised her head weakly as she near doubled over, Stumbling back as she stared at him with wide eyes. What little gathered conscious she had left recalled that drug, As clear as day she knew what it was.

Rophynol, Otherwise known as the date-rape drug.

Causes symptoms of confusion, Dizziness, Drowsiness, Lack of coordination, Loss of motor control and slurred speech. Often used by scummy people to knock out an unwilling victim, Usually for the purpose of..

Oh,

Oh fuck.

"Get- Get.. Get away.. Away!" [F/N] tried to yell but it came out as a wheeze, Stumbling back, Almost tripping over on her own feet. It felt like the world was spinning around her, Shaking around like it was encased in a snow globe.

There was no one around to help her, Everyone was so enthralled by the entertainment below that no one dared to come up here. Everyone except her and Shima, No one else around to hear her pleads for help.

Her eyes were wild as she looked at him, Like a cornered animal ready to bite.

His was casual, Looking at her with some synthetic sympathy.

"Don't worry, It's not what you're thinking. I'm not that much of a creep! I slipped it into your shake when you weren't looking earlier, Sorry 'bout this but my boss said that I was to return with you unharmed so.. Had to get creative with how I got you and all!" Shima laughed as he scratched the back of his head, Smiling innocently as if nothing was wrong.

[F/N] wheezed.

What? What was he saying? Who was.. Who was he talking..?

Illuminati.

[F/N] couldn't.. Couldn't get.. Get away. Get away. She needed to get away, Run.. Run away. Lewin, She needed to get Lewin.. Something was.. Something..

Shima got up from his leaning position on the balcony, Slightly stretching with a small yawn as he did.

"Alright, [F/N]. I'm gonna need you to come with me now, Okay? I ain't going to hurt you, My boss would kill me if I did!" He joked as he strolled towards her almost convulsing body, Her eyes untamed and barbaric.

His hands reached out, And in that moment [F/N] cried out.

"Ah-!" Shima yelped out once he felt a slice of what felt like a knife cross his cheek, A searing pain starting to settle into his skin. Blood spurted out from the paper-cut like wound, Muscles tensing.

In [F/N]'s shaky hands was a summoning paper, In her stupor somehow able to pull them out and cut her thumb.

Sylphs floated around her, Glowing an angry luminescent blue and the air around them much fresher than before, Angry faces starting to dart towards him like arrows.

"Aha-! You really are impressive, Should've expected as much from an Arc Knight's apprentice!" Shima complimented in a swift moment, Pulling out his k'rik from within a pocket of his suit and extending it to it's full length.

The gold gleamed in the air, The hoops on the end rattling as he slammed it down towards the oncoming sylphs.

But it stopped.

Before the end of his staff could hit the floor, The fresh air emitted by the sylphs had vanished from the sight. Shima paused in his movements, Eyes raising up to realise that they had disappeared entirely.

He blinked, Sight lowering down.

[F/N] laid fallen upon the rocky pavement, Mouth ajar and dripping in her own saliva. Eyes rolled up to their whites as she convulsed on the floor. The sylphs gone with her, Disappeared once she had finally fallen unconscious.

Shima let out the biggest sigh of his life.

Luckily he didn't need to deal with [F/N], Who had already shown skill incredible and insanely difficult to deal with talents in taming. It would've been impossible to capture her without any sedative, And he needed this to go smoothly.

He still had to find Izumo, Of course!

☆♡☆

"Honey..?!"

"Daddy!!"

The cries of the mans family called out from behind him, Echoing up and out of the dingy stairwell they stood in.

It was cold, Frigid even. If it wasn't for the welcoming warmth outside it could've been mistaken for the winter, Mostly due to the freezer-like chill and the damp dripping conditions around them.

The bloody and beaten man was knelt towards the floor, Keeled and prostrated before The Paladin, An Arc Knight and an entire legion of exorcists, All surrounding him like a pack of dogs ready to snap and bite down onto his flesh.

"We're only getting started now.. As you can see, Your task has ended in failure." Lewin mused as he stood before the shaking man, A grin on his face as he almost looked fascinated by the dribble of blood spurting out from his wounds.

"Could you quickly tell us what's on at the big event?" His family, Terrified and shaking, They called out to him in horror. Lewin paid them no mind as he moved forward, Bending his knees and crouching down towards him.

The man still had his own ichor dripping down his face, Iron tasted teeth turning into a snarl.

"Monster!" He barked, Blood splattering onto the floor in front of him.

"Uh oh! Should you be using such an attitude?" Lewin laughed with a child-like smile as he lowered closer to the man, A gleam in his eyes as he spoke. "I'm gonna have to ask your wife and son!"

The mans bloodshot eyes widened at that, Flicking back from Lewin to his family in the matter of seconds. Blood poured out of his mouth faster than his expression turned sour, Horrified as he watched his family be restrained by a group of exorcists.

He shook his head, Eyes agape as they connected with his wife's.

"Don't.. They don't know anything!" The traitor sputtered as he turned back to face Lewin, Who smiled all the same at him. His wife and son, His pride and joy. They wouldn't.. They wouldn't dare…

Would they?

Lewin chuckled as his eyes seemed to part from under his hair, His elongated pupils and a gleam sharper than a sword in his eyes. The man only watched in horror, Listening to him as he spoke.

"Why bother acting like a good guy now?" Lewin asked as he examined him from his bloody head to severed toes. That sadistic smile downturned, Much more malicious now. "Both of us are monsters in this regard. Cut it out."

Lewin turned his head to meet the eyes of the mans family.

"Then.. Shall we start?" Lewin asked and suddenly the group of exorcists started to pull and manhandle the mans kin, Hands on their shoulders starting to tug them back. Their eyes widening, Struggling to no avail within the hands of the exorcists.

The man gasped.

"Daddy!" His son called out, Terrified face already bursting with tears.

"W-What are you doing..?!" The traitor called out. His expression petrified as he watched his family start to be dragged away into the sea of exorcists surrounding them, His wife wailing as she tried to call out for her son, Her husband all the while yelling for them to take their hands off her.

The man cried.

"W-We're kidnapping two girls hiding within the Japanese division, Both within the hour!" He called out as Lewin raised to his feet, The man watching him with both ire and fear in his eyes. "They're important for our organisation and our goals!"

Lewin frowned, Looking down at the man as he had finally given him the information he had wanted to know. He hummed, Resting his hands on his hips.

"Their names are?" He asked as he looked down at him.

The traitor gulped, Tasting his own blood.

"Izumo Kamiki..!" He rasped. Lewin stepped closer, Almost urging him to go on as the entire exorcist legion listened on.

"..And [F/N] Light!"

Lewin's heart stopped.

☆♡☆

A blinding white muffled by blurred vision, That was all [F/N] could see.

It felt like she was on a ship sailing on a billowing sea, Waves rocking the boat back and forth along the waves as seafoam sloshed at the sides. Rainy too, Pattering against the wild wind of the sails and the rickety wood of the body.

[F/N] wasn't in control of the wheel, Not able to steer her way through the rushing waves or the inky black of the clouds above. She wasn't able to see either, The rain too thick and the wind too fast to even see a proper route out.

Lewin.. Where was her brother?

Her eyelids raised, Though heavy and numb she managed to wretch them open. That blinding white became so much more prominent, So much more scorching to her eyes as she groaned at the sudden light.

"Ah.. You're awake."

A voice like stricken thunder shook her awake, Her eyes becoming lightweight as they shot open to come face to face with a blindingly bright room. Her body felt numb, Unbelievably so. As she rolled her shoulders she barely felt the cushions against them, Nor the clothes it pushed against.

[F/N] groaned, Her heart beginning to pound in her chest especially once she saw a humanoid blur come into focus. It seemed to sit across from her on what appeared to be.. A rather antique looking couch?

"L-Lew.. Lewin..?" [F/N] mumbled out. Her mind in shambles and her vision unfocused. What happened to her? Did she pass out on the couch? Did Lewin carry her home? [F/N] sniffled slightly, Head spinning as she tried to focus her vision.

"You must be confused.. I understand. Your body must be aching, I understand that too. I apologise for the way we had extracted you.. However it was deemed to be the most painless out of our options.." What?

That didn't sound like Lewin. That didn't sound like the jovial tune that sung every time he spoke. It sounded much more delicate, Much more bleak. [F/N] didn't recognise that voice, It certainly wasn't Lewin.

Opening her eyes a bit further, She tried to see through the blinding light.

"W-Who are..-"

Her eyes finally focused on a man sitting adjacent from her, Upon a rather expensive looking couch from the renaissance era. [F/N]'s breath hitched in her throat, Eyes widening, Not caring about the light now-

It was a man.

[F/N] felt her heart stop entirely at the sight of him, Her mouth growing dry. He sat right in front of her on the opposite couch, One leg over the other with posture that could make an old lord envious.

His hair was a beautiful blonde, One that shone white under the candle-light of the candelabra above. His eyes a glorious viridian like the tailfeathers of a rosella, Pupils cut down into slits stared at her with a soft gleam-

He was a demon.

[F/N] wanted to run.

"It is a pleasure to finally meet you.. [F/N]. This meeting is long overdue.."

She felt a wave of unease wash over her, Something was incredibly- Incredibly wrong. It wasn't the way he sat or the way he looked- No- It wasn't even the evident rot festering on his skin.

But it was just the air he gave off, So subtly overwhelming. A pit in her stomach forming as she looked at him closer and closer. He presented himself as dignified, As angelic even- But something about that just made [F/N] want to turn her head and puke-

He wasn't right. He was off-

[F/N] felt bile rise in the back of her throat.

"My name is Lucifer, Commander of The Illuminati and The King of Light." Lucifer spoke, His emerald eyes gleaming under the luminescence.

[F/N]'s heart stopped.

Her hands grasped the edges of the couch she sat on with a grip that could crush stone. The.. The King of Light? Lucifer? It couldn't be. But every cell, Every molecule, Every atom was screaming at her to run-

Something that could only be achieved by such accursed royalty.

"You are currently sitting within my estate, Again, I apologise for your rather abrupt summoning here." Lucifer spoke up once more as he slowly rested one of his legs over another, A hand gesturing towards the table. "Please, Feel free to indulge. These were specifically procured to your taste, You do enjoy sugar, Correct?"

[F/N] didn't want to eat, She wanted to puke. Her throat was dry yet she could do little but reach a trembling hand over to the collection of treats upon the table top. Trays of tarts, Plates stacked with parfait all on this antique little table.

Her fingers fumbling before grasping a macaroon, Her eyes never leaving the demon sitting across from her.

[F/N] couldn't even think.

Lucifer's face never changed. Never ticked, Never twitched. Watching calmly as she began to nibble on the outer shell of the macaroon, The one that happened to be the same flavour she had grown to favour. A gentle hum erupted from his throat.

[F/N] flinched.

"Is it to your liking?" Lucifer asks her, His expression unmoving as [F/N] froze up on the spot. [F/N] felt her mind race at such a simple question, Swallowing back what little of the macaroon she had ingested.

Don't be scared- Don't- Just don't try to look him in the eye- His eyes- Just don't-

"..Y-Yes- Uhm-" [F/N] blurted out. It came out hoarse as her hand darted up to pat her throat, Her jugular tensing.

"Homare." Lucifer called out, His voice a little louder than the melodious tone he held before. [F/N]'s eyes darted to her right as she heard firm, But swift footsteps make their way over to the table.

CLANK!

[F/N] gulped. Two tea cups were placed onto the table. Liquid pouring. A petite woman standing by [F/N]'s side with an ornate porcelain teapot in hand, Contrasted by the adorned look on her Illuminati uniform.

When did get she here?

Homare didn't look at [F/N] at all, Her eyes kept on the from behind her glasses. Lips thinned in a tight line. As she finished pouring the liquid, [F/N] quickly took the teacup. Anything to avoid his eyeline.

"You must be wondering why you're here." Lucifer spoke up once more, Homare's presence going ignored as she began to pour the simmering hot tea into the second cup. [F/N] bit her lip.

"L-Listen- I don't have any information to give you." [F/N] quickly said, Her words blurring together. "I don't- I don't get that kind of access. I've never been to- I've never even been to Italy..! I-"

"You are not here for information, We are aware you aren't privy to that kind of information." Lucifer cut in calmly as Homare finished pouring the tea into his cup, Gently picking it up as she drew back away from them, Somewhere back into the room.

[F/N] gulped.

"T-Then why-"

"You've caused quite a stir in Gehenna, Though I'm sure you are aware of that by now." Lucifer spoke, Taking a sip of his tea. "Even amongst my siblings, The other kings, You've made quite an impression on them."

Lucifer lowered the teacup from his lips, His eyelids fluttering as he set it down amongst the array of desserts on the table. Irises flicking back

"I have been hearing about you for quite a long time.. Ever since Astaroth had returned speaking of a little human girl who had caused his vessel's heart to start beating.." Lucifer trailed off, For once, His eyes narrowed. "I had excused it as the delusion brought on by his rapidly decaying body.. But then it was Iblis and Egyn.. Who both haven't stopped mentioning you, Even to this day.."

[F/N]'s grip on the tea cup tightened as he continued on, Memories of the day she had met the pair of kings flashing in her mind. They had remembered her, They didn't let go- Her penchant-

This was what Azazel had warned her about.

"I've been wanting to meet you, You see." Lucifer spoke, A glint appearing in the shimmer of his eyes. "Your.. Penchant, As you call it, I want you to explain it to me. Tell me how you inflict it on other demons, As it has become rather troubling.. Tell me, How do you make them believe they feel human love?"

[F/N] wanted to scoff, She really did.

Human love? As if such a creature could comprehend it.

Human love was gentle, Human love was passionate, Yet there was no string of words to ever describe it. You could call it kind, You could call it exciting. Bonding, Connecting, Warming.

But none of these were ever things such a monster could understand.

"I.. I-I don't know- I can't control it." [F/N] tried to explain, Ashamed of the terror rushing through her veins as she tried to make sense of her words. "I-It's not like I'm doing it on purpose- It just happens when I meet them, That- That somehow they just become more.. Friendly..?"

The word friendly tasted like venom on her tongue.

"I-I don't know how to explain it- I don't know how it happens. Just.." [F/N] took in a shaky breath, Raising her head up to him, Humiliated by what she was about to do. "P-Please, Let me go. I just want to go home- I don't have anything to give you just..! Please.."

Begging.

It made her feel disgusting.

But she needed to get out of here, Out of here before he became affected too.

Lucifer hummed, Unaffected by her words as he leaned back on the couch he was sitting in. He had picked up his tea again and began to sip on it once more, His body still tense, The rot on his skin continuing to fester.

"So you can't control it.." Lucifer mumbled as he peered down at the liquid circling in his teacup. [F/N] was sat on baited breath. Well aware of the eyes on her, The body guards, The Illuminati members that she was unable to see stationed about the room.

"N-No..- So could you please just.. Please let me go." [F/N] spoke quietly, Yet desperately, Trying her best to convince The King of Light to let her go. Like a mouse begging a cat to let it out from in-between it's claws.

Lucifer didn't respond. Just sat there. Staring down at his tea.

"P-Please.. I'm only an exwire, I couldn't do anything even if I tried-" The grip on the teacup handle tightened.

[F/N] cut herself off as she watched his jaw tighten, Shoulders squaring, The teacup beginning to shake from the sheer grasp he had on the handle.

"Commander..!"

CRASH!

[F/N]'s eyes widened as she watched the teacup slip from his fingers, Shattering on impact at the edge of the table. Lucifer groaned under his breath, Keeling over, His trembling gloved fingers grasping the ledge of the table.

Homare, The woman from before rushing over to his side followed by a small fleet of guards. [F/N] pushed herself back in suprise, Hadn't expecting the crowd as they rushed to their superiors side.

"What the-"

"It appears this body is much weaker than I had thought..-"

Lucifer grasped the side of his cheek, Where [F/N] watched as the decay visibly grew. She felt her eyes widen as Homare helped steady him. Her attention focused on him and only him, Her lips thinned. [F/N] blinked.

Was this her chance?

Demon Kings, Their bodies unable to handle their strength, Decaying faster the bigger they are. It was only correct that the strongest amongst them would be in constant pain, Constant torture.

She knew what she needed to do- To try.

[F/N] slowly released her grip on the couch. Lucifer keeled over, His guards and right-hand focused soley on him. Nudging herself to the side, Further, A little more. [F/N] needed to find summoning paper, Or at least something to prick her thumb-

[F/N] didn't expect to get far, Not without her dear sylphs-

CRASH!

[F/N] yelped.

Trays and platters fell to the floor, The desserts crumbling against the floor to make way for the arm that lunged out from amongst the small group. A hand grasped onto her wrist. A thinning, Shaky, Sickly hand with such unbelievable strength.

A pair of green eyes were illuminated through the parting of silvery hair, Wide, Staring at her. His instincts and his reflexes unmatched. [F/N] stared into them, Her throat going dry-

"Do not move-"

THUMP!

It was like a pin had been dropped in a silent room, Or a scream erupting within a library. It was the kind of thing that could be felt from miles away, Like the devastation of a tsunami or the the heat scorching off the sun.

And it was without any noise, Not much anyway.

His hand let go. [F/N] pushed herself back onto the couch, Her legs almost kicking in her scurry, Trying to get as far away from him as possible.

THUMP!

She knew what had happened when Lucifer had gasped for air, Like a drowning man taking his first breath of air. When his face moved like it had muscles underneath, Not tin and clockwork.

The guards all made barks of concern as he collapsed back onto the couch. Body jerking. His eyes wide as he stared up at the ceiling, Heaving, His chest raising up and down at an unnatural pace. His expression, It was-

"Commander..! Are you..-!"

"T-This heart.. This.." Lucifer breathed, In and out, His body splayed against the couch as his eyes lit up. The words of Homare went completely ignored. "This vessel-! T-This body..!"

Lucifer's hands grasped his vessel, One grasping the fabric and flesh covering his heart and the other almost frantically trailing up the rot that festered on the side of his face. His breathing ragged, Yet his body calm and almost relaxed.

"Commander..?" Homare's eyes widened as she watched him, Raising up as her eyes stared on with confusion. Lucifer grasped his chest, Where his heart was, His breathing slowing. Calming. If only a bit.

He shuddered, An audible shiver running down his spine. The fleet of guards stepped away from him, All looking at one and other at the scene. It was almost like his body had melted into the cushions, Relaxing, Like the numb procured from a good night's sleep.

"This body..!" Lucifer breathed out, His eyes aglow as he stared up at the ceiling above. His hand shook where it grasped his heart, The organ that began to thump. "There is no pain- I- What is.. It feels.. Good- No. It feels great..!"

Lucifer stirred, His head almost lolling to the side as he sat forward on the couch. His eyes looked almost dizzy, And if not for his unsightly self-control he would've collapsed right back onto the cushions.

[F/N] flinched when his head raised.

He was affected.

Lucifer's eyes snapped onto her, Widening, Watching.

"You..-!"

His voice sounded like he was parched, His eyes lighting up when he finally drew his attention back to her.

[F/N] could only yelp once she was yanked forward. When those hands grasped onto her wrists and tugged her forward. She almost collapsed over the table and the fallen trays, Barely grasping onto the edge to save herself.

"T-This was it..! I understand it now.. What my siblings were raving about, This is it..!" Lucifer rasped as he pulled her closer with such unthinkable strength, His stare scorching, Looking down at her- "You.. I understand now, Why they were so enthralled by you- I understand-!"

[F/N] yelped.

"No- No- NO-!" [F/N] yelled out, Unable to take it anymore. She cried out. Trying to yank her arm away from him to no avail. Lucifer only tightened his grip around her wrist. Painful, Almost bruising her skin.

"You..! You stay right there-!" Homare called out, A hiss in her voice as she quickly took charge and grasped onto [F/N]'s shoulder, Keeping her in place. [F/N] struggled, Trying her very best to get out of the woman's grasp but it was futile.

"L-Let go-!"

"Please.. Come closer." Lucifer almost begged, His voice quiet yet pleading as he relented the grasp he had on her to beckon her towards him.

Was the space between them too much? The two foot wide gap? [F/N] felt tears begin to prick in her eyes, Pure hatred running through her veins as Homare wrestled her up to her feet and began to shepherd her around the table.

She almost slipped on the polish of the wood, Trying to kick her way out of Homare's hold.

But it was useless.

[F/N] felt herself get pushed down onto the opposite couch, Her back hitting the cushions as a chill ran down her spine. Whenever this happened, Whenever another demon king got affected by her penchant she had always found a way out. To run or fight, She had always found a way out of here.

She always had. Always. Even now there was a way out, Wasn't there? There must be- Surely-

"There you are.. That is much better.." Lucifer spoke out, His voice returning to that gentle lilt though there was an undeniable warmth to it now. His eyes gleaming, Sitting there beside her, Facing her, His attention unwavering.

"Don't- Don't touch me-!" [F/N] cried out, Tears starting to trickle down her cheeks as Lucifer took them into his gloved palms. His touch was freezing, Even through the silky fabric.

It was enveloping too, His grasp a little too tight. How could she get out? How could she escape? His grasp make her skin feel dead and embalmed. The guards surrounded them, Homare especially keeping her eyes trained on [F/N] for any sudden movements.

Fuck. [F/N] trembled. There was no way she'd be able to get away, There was no chance. [F/N]'s reddening eyes were wide, Unable to remove them from Lucifer's. Tears falling down her face, Sizzling at her skin.

How could she get away? In the end she was still just a girl.

The same girl refused to follow her friend into the forest.

Oh, Who was [F/N] kidding?

She was still a kid.

A stupid, Scared, Sniffling little kid.

"No.. No. Why are you crying?" Lucifer asked quietly, Eyes narrowing. His thumb rubbing circles into the skin of her cheek. Wiping away the tears that erupted from her ducts. "It.. Does not feel good to see.. Tell me, What is it that you want? What will make you stop?"

[F/N] hiccupped.

"To go home-! Let me go home-!"

"-No. Anything but that." Lucifer answered quickly, His lips thinning. His hands holding her face growing tighter at her words. "I'll give you anything else.. You see, This vessel.. I have never been able to exist a moment in this world without pain.. An ache that never dissolved, Not until now.."

Lucifer's voice almost shook, The euphoria of normalcy was overwhelming, Overtaking. It was something he could feel in his very being. [F/N] hiccupped, Her throat aching.

Lucifer parted his eyes from hers for only a moment, Glancing up at his right-hand.

"Homare.. Please summon a cleaner to fix this mess as well as more tea." Lucifer ordered firmly, Still gripping [F/N]'s crying face in his hands as Homare saluted and bowed, Barking out a "Yes, Sir..!" before quickly making her way towards the rooms pair of doors.

It was only once they opened and shut did Lucifer return his gaze towards her. Such a sickening, Burning gaze.

It was calculating, Thinking, Asking himself what he was to do.

"Now.."

Tears continued to run down her face even when she was tugged closer. Gently, Yet firm as she felt his arms awkwardly rest around her in what could only be described as an android's attempt at a hug.

His movements were stiff, His limbs not use to the action he was doing. An arm around her back with another on the back of her head. He had leant down, Her head resting on his shoulder. It was if he was trying to mimic what others have done before, A fraudulent copy of what usually was such a genuine action.

[F/N] didn't even fight back, Not when she felt the stare of the entire guard on her back.

"..Does this make you feel better?" Lucifer asked after a moment, His head resting atop hers. [F/N] still shook in his grasp, His cold and mechanic grasp. Feeling his fingers weave themselves into her hair, Firmer than what she expected.

Awkward, But firm enough to ensure she would be unable to get out.

It didn't make her feel better, Not in the slightest. [F/N] tried her best to calm herself down, To think rationally. To imagine that she was hugging someone she actually loved, Like Lewin or Osceola or her friends from the cram school.

Friends, They really were her friends.

[F/N] sniffled, Trying to imagine she was with them and not Lucifer right now. Imagining the smell of ash in the classroom, The obnoxiously coloured halls, The echoing chatter that bounced around the room.

[F/N] missed them. Her friends. Her actual friends. She had companions for once in her life. She had a network, A system she could rely on when she fell, Knowing that they would help her get back up.

[F/N] hoped they were coming for her, To help her get out of here. Anywhere but here, Anywhere.

"Commander."

Homare had returned, Had it been that long? [F/N] saw her standing there through the blur of her tears, Arms positioned behind her back and her eyes a little bit wider than they were before.

There was no tray of tea in her hands like she was ordered to bring.

[F/N]'s eyes widened.

A sudden chill washing over her.

"Commander, I apologise for returning so quickly however I've just been informed that we have- Erm.. Guests." Homare coughed on the last part, Almost as if figuring out how to put it.

Readjusting her glasses she spoke once again.

"The other demon kings, They are here."

[F/N] felt her heart stop.

The demon kings.. They..

They were here?

Lucifer let go of [F/N] however reluctantly, Releasing her from his hold. He pushed himself up to his feet and readjusted his uniform, Settling the velvet of his cape back over his shoulders as he turned to face Homare.

"I had expected this much.. I can sense their presence already.." Lucifer spoke calmly as he dusted himself off. "Not just Astaroth, Iblis and Egyn.. I can sense that Beelzebub, Amaimon and Samael are here as well.."

"Yes, Commander. They are currently standing within the foyer as we speak, They are currently waiting for you."

"Is Samael willing to talk?"

"Yes, I believe he was the one that alerted Beelzebub and Amaimon here. He has not came with anyone from The Order."

"I see. Good."

[F/N] felt her heart near explode. The kings, Demons, The worst of them all.

They were here.

A cold sweat covered her skin worse than it had before, Tears and snot dribbling down her face even harder. All of them, The ones she had met over the years, They had never forgotten her and now they were here.

[F/N] couldn't fight, Couldn't scream, She couldn't run anymore like she had done so many times in the past.

This was it.

There was no escaping now.

"Prepare the master dining room for a feast, Summon the cooks to prepare food however last-minute. Whatever they deem is best."

"How many chairs, Commander?"

"Nine. I can sense Azazel has recently found himself a vessel, He should be arriving rather late but make room for him anyways."

Lucifer turned to her, The emerald in his eyes glinting as he looked down at her. That expression, The one of calm and collected demeanour holding something else now. Something much darker than his title suggested.

He turned to her, Examining her from head to toe.

"I suppose there would be no time to fix your appearance, Unfortunately. I don't believe that our siblings would stay patient much longer.." Lucifer remarked as he looked at her, Frozen there, Terrified out of her mind.

He turned to face her now, Homare already running off to complete her order. Lucifer looked at her from head to toe, At her expression of gritted teeth and sweat building on her brow.

Lucifer almost sighed.

"And I don't suppose you would come peacefully to the dining room either. You are still shaken from the unorthodox way I brought you here, Not to mention that I've heard you have a rather troublesome distaste for us demons." Lucifer almost lamented as he looked down at her.

He took a step forward, His hand raising in the air.

"Ah.. It's no matter. Today you have shown me how it feels to exist without pain, Without weakness." Lucifer spoke, Grateful, His words were dripping in it. "Even now I feel the beating of this vessel's heart, What a wonderous feeling. I understand what the rest of our siblings meant when they had told me.. And I thank you for that."

All of a sudden, He snapped his fingers.

[F/N] only heard the quick sounds of footsteps, Hundreds, Thousands. Echoing and ringing in her ears as she was hefted up to her feet. An arm under each of her pits, Carrying her, Holding her up with such daze in her expression.

Lucifer's gaze almost softened.

"This is familial love, Is it not? Even such a demon as I can be affected by it, By you." Lucifer spoke, So eerily, Dreamily. As the guards surrounding her began to take her away, Her mind in shambles with no more tears left to cry.

[F/N] felt her feet drag against the floor, Mind yelling at her- Screaming as she heard a door open.

Wishing this was all just a dream.

A ghost of a smile appeared across Lucifer's face, Only fitting on such a lifeless being.

"Don't try to fight or run, [F/N]. You may not favour demons, But as our newest sibling, You are sure to learn how to see things our way. However long it takes. Please, Try to behave yourself, Will you?"

The door slammed shut.

And suddenly, Everything turned black.

[bleakbittersoul]

Bright out of context

Most of these are sent by me in rp some are sent by some awesome people in the server, and I think only one is from the wiki? Thanks for the help from @reddiamondgamer and @jack-of-amulets for their contributions to this list!

"The fear of spiders is kinda misogynistic."

"I think you'd be much more attractive if you ever got rabies"

"Could you in theory make yourself into jam for me?"

"How is it my fault you can't read minds?"

"Great now I'm thinking about dissections and formaldehyde and now I'm hungry"

"being meguca is suffering…"

"Where is your bathroom? I think I'd like to slam my head against a wall in private"

"This water is chunky"

"I only drink diet water"

"Have you ever gotten mad so you put a fork in someone's microwave and then irish goodbyed?"

"Water on toast"

"If you don't marry me I'm going to start collecting more of your DNA to do unethical science with."

"So if I wanted an audio clip of you meowing you'd do that for me?"

"I know what you're referring to. I don't enjoy fake animal ears. Skin an animal. Wear it's ears. Stop being afraid of commitment."

"I want to lick your eyelid."

"I like your eyes. When I first saw you I wanted to ask if I could keep them when you die but that would have been inappropriate and thankfully I don't have to worry about that. But they are lovely and I do want a bigger collection."

Screaming to wake Clef up and then trying to play it off as if he had a nightmare.

"Scientists don't get bullied enough anymore " after implying some people were baby talking an anomaly.

"I want to peel your face off and eat it it's so cute."

" I once possessed this really attractive girl and then got a job at a Walmart and started relentlessly flirting with you every time you went to Walmart to see if you would cheat on me but you never did"

"I wouldn't mind sucking on your wet hair."

"What if we kissed in the 1996 Teletubbies set "

"I want to scratch your head with my teeth."

"I like waltzes. I also like music that makes me feel like poisoning myself and or others as of right now."

"IT'S NOT A THROW PILLOW UNTIL SOMEONE GETS KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT WITH IT!"

"I'm going to lick your bones."

"I want your warm skin."

"I'll remove part of your intestine and eat it while you watch."

"I WANT TO CHEW ON YOUR FACE!"

"YURRR"

"Uhhuhuhuhuhuh" (like an angry shaken pug fly thing)

"Eyes, aren't right. They need to be improved."

"I don't have the energy to cry hysterically or resurrect you if you die. I'd still do it but it would be significantly less dramatic than it should be."

Heard their partner say "My chest is open for you to lay on" but only heard "My chest is open for you" and immediately assumed he meant for dissection. And when corrected Bright said "You're drawing a line on our love?"

"I like eyes. I have some."

"I don't mean that your eyes are pretty in a collectable kind of way they look good alive and on you…"

“…Don’t you just violently HATE having body parts?”

"My life fucking sucks because they… dont let me play with grenade launcher "

"GOD, FUCKING. BITCH! BECOME A WATERMELON." pause "[INSERT SEVERAL MORE EXPLETIVES]"

"I have two of your teeth. One bloody, one…normal"

“…We should kill MORE children!”

"I WANT THE GRAVESTONE! DO YOU WANT MY TOE TAG?"

[Dr. Bright shows signs of agitation, swearing in several different languages, and throwing equipment about the room.]

"If you ever leave me I'm robbing your fucking grave. And I don't mean that in a normal way. I would be after your organs."

"Oh skin"

"Okay to be fair I've seen screaming trees"

"WHY DO YOU HATE MY HAMSTER!?? WHY DO YOU HATE IT'S EYES??? IT HAS NORMAL EYES!!!"

“Can someone get me a shovel? I just murdered the gender binary and I need it to hide the body.”

"Human life or not I'd eat it."

"You'd make a cute poison victim"

"If I made you hot chocolate, I would make it with love and I wouldn't poison it at all"

"I fucking love carcasses. That's why I love meat, it's like edible taxidermy"

"Would you still love me if whenever someone got hurt in a breach or someone got hurt or people get into a fight I would say and that's how it feels to chew five gum and then look away as if I'm looking at a Camara like a character in the office."

"One heart? ONE HEART?! WHAT AM I YOUR GRANDMOTHER? SOME EASILY APPEASED SIDE PIECE???"

"I want to touch you with my bones."

"Okay, well when you feel better I'll go lick a bathroom doorknob so you can repay the favor."

"Would you still love me if I didn't believe in toothbrushes?"

"You've never had your house set on fire before and it shows…"

"Are you often covered in blood. I've been covered in blood a few times. Interesting feeling isn't it? Almost primal."

"Cute color pattern. Was the theme bio hazard?"

"I'm being haunted by myself right now"

“sorry for going through the entire spectrum of human emotions in the past 10 minutes…. do you still like me? ”

"It's yellow and I wanted to think of something other than piss when I look at it. So egg. Piss egg for the piss baby."

in his most demonic voice "I'M FROM…. NEBRASKA…."

Bright: You know I once made a table set disappear.

Clef:… Did you steal it.

Bright through evil manic laughter: Yes

[skibasyndrome]

wilmon + “hold still, babygirl” 🎀

Martina.................... bless. I absolutely CANNOT thank you enough for sending in that prompt!!! ANYWAYS, some of you know I am newly obsessed with the idea of a gender-questioning or nb or transfem Wille so... hope you guys like transfem Wille as much as I love her

also, cw: kinda nsfw, gender affirmation is one hell of a drug, getting teary-eyed during sex, but in a good way I promise <3

“Hold still, babygirl...,” Simon's voice is muffled against the side of Wille's neck, but clear enough for her to hear it. Wille gasps, tightening the grip of her fingers in Simon's curls, stilling her writhing thighs, letting Simon grab them again. She's barely holding on as is, her hold on the marble countertop Simon just fucking lifted her onto weakening every time Simon digs his fingers into her soft flesh, but the way he says it, the softness, the affection, the let me take care of you hidden between the lines is sending her mind into overdrive. Simon slides his hands up her body, along the outside of her thighs, her hips, her waist, smoothing over the soft fabric of her new sundress so reverently, so intentionally that it sends a pang to her chest. This is it, she thinks, this is fucking it, this feels so right she wants to cry on the spot. "So beautiful," Simon tells her, words breaking out of him like he's not in control, like he like has no choice but to vocalize his adoration. No need, Wille thinks, because she can feel it, has felt it all afternoon, in every casual touch and every single glance. "So, so beautiful," he adds, even breathier now, and Wille bites back a moan when he emphasizes the words by grabbing a handful of her ass. It's a lot, it's almost too much, they're not even naked yet and it's so so much. But Simon isn't done with her, he's not leaving any room for doubt and Wille doesn't thinks she's ever felt so much fucking love at once. Simon mouths down her neck, gives her collarbone a gentle nibble, presses a kiss against the top of her sternum, then stops for a moment, gives Wille the chance to tell him where she wants him and that alone forces another broken gasp out of her. She just nods frantically, pushing Simon's head closer, making sure his lips don't leave her skin. Simon slips the sleeve of her dress, the strap of her bra down her shoulder, mouths further down her chest and Wille is going to die. This shouldn't feel real, she doesn't dare to look down, afraid that she'd wake up from a dream if she's not careful, but she can see it behind in her mind's eye, the visual accompanying the sensation, Simon kissing and licking over her skin, shoving the lace of her bralette out of the way with his face to get to her nipple. Just as she thinks the arm propped up behind her, holding her up, is going to give in, she feels Simon snake his arm around her middle, feels him dig the tips of his fingers into her ribs (a reminder, this is real). Simon uses the other arm around her ass, maneuvers her body further towards the edge and Wille can feel him, fuck, she can feel him. With her skirt slipping up over her thighs, bunching up around her hips, Simon is making space for himself between her legs. She can feel him, pressing against her hot and firm and so, so enticing, and she feels him all over her, so there, and holding her so tightly, with so much fucking care that, despite herself, she feels her eyes starting to burn. She presses them shut more tightly, wraps her legs around Simon's hips, crosses her ankles and pushes him closer, holds him so close she'd be scared of hurting him if it wasn't for him pulling her even closer him with a grunt. "I've got you, sweetheart," he says, and Wille whines when Simon lets go of her nipple, tries to make him stay there for just a little bit longer, she needs him there, doesn't he see? But Simon is unrelenting, squeezes her middle, and, Wille cranes her neck to lean into the touch, brushes his hand through Wille's hair and tucks a strand behind her ear. Fuck. She swallows against the lump in her throat. "I've got you, princess," Simon breathes against her mouth, taking all the air out of her lungs. When their lips finally meet, Wille can taste the salt of her tears and desperately wraps her arms around Simon's back, like he could disappear any second.

....... I'm not going to apologize. Just know I LOVE HER and I love the way Simon loves her and I haven't felt this attached to a version of them in quite a while... pls be kind to her, she's finding herself 😭😭😭 TYSM MARTINA ILY 💜💜💜

Send me "Wilmon" + a sentence and I'll write you 5(+) more

[bloodredfeathers]

Kisses

Drabbles about how I think the Savanaclaw boys would kiss because I'm in need of some major fluff with my favorite dorm rn

Characters: Leona Kingscholar, Jack Howl, Ruggie Bucchi

⚠Gender neutral reader, Leona gets a lil frisky towards the end, slight swearing in Jack's part, also Jack's is really long I'M SORRY I COULDN'T HELP IT HE'S MY FAVORITE HGKFHKFHD, absolute tooth rotting domestic style fluff with Ruggie

Leona Kingscholar

You missed him.

You missed him a lot. You hadn't seen Leona the whole week due to the heavy workload you had been assigned before the weekend. Crewel really didn't know when enough work was enough.

Nonetheless, you used seeing Leona as a reason to get your work done, and you did. It was Friday, every last piece of work turned in, and you were on your way to see your favorite beastman.

"...mmmmmwhat...?" You could hear Leona growl from inside his dorm room after you knocked. Opening the door slowly, you were met with drawn curtains, creating a dimly lit room and a sleep enticing atmosphere.

"Oh my King," you knelt down and began speaking as though you were in a fairy tail. "Please forgive me for intruding upon your sacred private quarters. It is merely I, your beloved, here to see you-"

You looked up to see Leona, crossing his arms and staring down at you. His emerald eyes practically glowed, even in the dim light of his bedroom.

"Get up herbivore," he groaned. "If you're gonna be on your knees, at least make it for a good reason~"

"LEONA!" You stood quickly, face heating evidently. His arms enveloped you and you felt him rest his chin on your head.

"I'm kidding, herbivore..." He said sleepily. "I've missed ya..."

You smiled from where your face was buried in his chest and reciprocated his embrace, squeezing him tight and sighing contently.

"I've missed you too..." You murmured. Leona grabbed your chin with his hand, forcing you to look at him. He smirked and let out a quiet, amused huff. You pouted.

"What?"

"Nothing," he grinned, shaking his head. Leona tilted your head upwards, lowering his own to meet you in a long, slow, deep kiss. It had you shivering and melting into him, leaning your whole body against his broad figure. Breaking the kiss, you panted and gazed into his eyes.

"Ohhh I don't think you'll be leaving this room anytime soon, herbivore~" Leona teased, leaning down to kiss your throat. "I wasn't kidding when i said i missed ya. Now whaddaya gonna do about it, hmm~?"

Jack Howl

"Deuce, have you seen Jack?" You had searched the grounds of Night Raven College at least three times over and still couldn't find your wolf anywhere. Deuce shook his head.

"I haven't seen him since our Flight class," Deuce said. "He told me he was going to look for you after school, but judging from what's going on right now, I'm assuming that didn't quite go as planned."

You rolled your eyes.

"No shit, Sherlock," you muttered. You scanned the crowd and couldn't see Jack anywhere. If he were there, it wouldn't have been hard to see a 6'3 bulky, tanned skinned, white haired wolf beastman that literally EVERYONE knows. You groaned aloud, deciding to give up searching, until...

"Wait, his dorm!" You nearly yelled. "I feel so damn stupid...why didn't I think to look for him in his dorm?"

You ran as fast as you could to the Savanaclaw dorm, huffing once you got there. Some student looked at you weird, whereas others minded their own business. You searched for anybody familiar when you saw-

"Ruggie!"

The hyena turned and smiled as he saw you.

"Hey! What brings ya here?"

"Where's Jack?!" Ruggie put his hands up in defense, chuckling.

"Relax, he's up in his room. I think you came at a good time, he came back looking like his favorite cactus just died."

You quickly thanked him and ran to Jack's room, knocking on the door. No response. You slowly opened the door to see Jack sitting on his floor, playing with a little potted cactus, tail limp and ears flat, a sad scowl on his face.

"Jack?" You called softly. His head shot up and his eyes widened, ears alert as he stared towards you. You stepped inside and shut the door behind you, turning back around to be almost knocked over in a bone crushing hug.

"Jack if your tail wags any harder your homework is going to fly out the window-" You warned him.

"Don't care," he said, face buried in your neck. "Can't help it, I missed you too damn much..."

Out of nowhere, jack picked you up and tossed you onto his bed (gently of course) before climbing over you and laying down on top of you. You giggled and pet his hair, rubbing his ears as he nuzzled his face into your neck.

Jack raised his head to look at you. You smiled at him and cupped his cheek with your hand. Laying his hand over yours, Jack leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours in a gentle kiss. His lips were soft and warm, and he smelled like cactus flowers.

Once the kiss was broken, he rested his forehead against yours, eyes closed, savoring the shared warmth between you two.

"I love you, Jack," you said breathlessly, eyes still shut tight and forhead still resting against his. Jack breathed shakily before running a large hand down your side, gently but lovingly caressing you.

"I...I love you too..."

It was moments like these where Jack knew he didn't have to have his guard up, where he could finally relax, because he knew he would always be safe to be himself with you~

(Lol can you say self indulgent-)

Ruggie Bucchi

"What was that for, huh?" Ruggie stared up at you from where you leaned over him. All he wanted was a little peace and quiet, some time to relax and lie in the cool grass beneath his favorite tree. Why was it his favorite? To keep it simple, it kept the grass beneath cool because it provided a lot of shade.

He was lying in the grass with his eyes closed when out of nowhere, you had decided to show up and give him a quick peck on the forehead.

"Nothing really," you grinned. "I've been looking for you all day, and I missed you! Also, you looked super cute, all relaxed like that~!"

Ruggie grinned, grabbing you as he began to tickle you to death.

"RUGGIE STOP!" You squealed as his relentless hands continued to attack your most ticklish spots.

"Never!" He giggled boyishly as he eventually calmed and brought you to sit between his legs, your back against his chest. His arms encircled your torso as his chin rested on your shoulder. You reached up to pet his hair and Ruggie sighed happily, closing his eyes.

"You know," Ruggie said softly. "I came out here to get away from people, to relax and be alone for a bit. But honestly, this is so much better..."

You smiled softly. Ruggie was young and fresh faced, some even saying he looked younger than he was. But he was a very responsible man and a hard worker. He deserved a break every now and again. He shouldn't have had to sneak away.

"Well whenever you need a break from things, especially from Leona," you gazed into his eyes, cupping his cheek. "Just hit me up, I'll always be down to help you unwind!"

He smiled cutely and pulled you in for a quick kiss, pulling back to look at you before going in for another, this time slower, longer, more passionate.

"I love you, Y/N. I always will, please don't ever forget that..."

MAN THIS WAS JUST THE PICK ME UP I NEEDED I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER AFTER WRITING THIS

Also I kinda tried to associate their name colors with their eyes (Leona was green, Ruggie blue and Jack orangy yellowy amber idk-)

I hope you enjoyed, stay tuned for more, extras~

💥Akira💥

[impactrueno]

Didn't know you were trans! That's amazing!? How are you liking HRT? I'm in my 30s too, and have been debating getting HRT, as well, but hesitate because of my age

i started on june of last year and i'm gonna be honest...it was kind of hellish but it's paying off so i'm pretty happy about that :^)

i say hellish because during that time i had to deal with what was basically puberty and menopause at the same time. my period stopped (*stadium-level cheer*) but i had to deal with greasy hair, oily face, acne everywhere, hot flashes, horniness, irritability, mood swings, smelling different, sweating, etc. but fortunately, i'm past that stage now thank god. my body temperature is still a little too hot most of the time so i miss wearing hoodies lol. but the good changes are there too, and every day i feel a little better when looking in the mirror. all i need now is top surgery and i'm set (if i ever get enough money for it, that's a whole 'nother deal)

i wish i had started earlier though. i've been identifying as male since i was 19 or so, but could never start my transition due to irl complications. i held back on socializing until i could present the way i wanted to, but....that just ended up in me kinda becoming a hermit lol :( also living in venezuela has limited me for so many things (we're one of the handful of countries in the americas that still don't have lgbt laws so i can't even legally change my name yet :/ much less my gender on my ID) but hey, better late than never! i'm just glad i have access to it now despite still living here. i'll figure out the rest as i go.

as for your age, it shouldn't be an issue at all. health wise i mean (T made me start watching my cholesterol, i never had problems with that before.) what matters is if you're ready and comfortable with it. there's way older people than us that are starting their transition now. i get that it can be a difficult adjustment socially speaking; people might treat you differently, and you need to know how to deal with that. i wish i had more advice on that front but i think i got way lucky, because everyone in my life supports and respects my identity...with a few bumps along the road of course but even with that, i still feel insanely fortunate. i can only hope it will be the same for you and everyone wanting to transition.

[theforesteldritch]

my ramblings on transness, intersex-ness, childhood and growing up

i'm four. somewhere around there. i tell my mom i hate my name. i want to change it to robin, i say. she tells me i can when i'm an adult. i tell her i want my name to be robin now, today. not later. i don't get to change my name. eventually i forget wanting to be robin, or drop it, or stop talking about it. either way, i don't ever get to be robin.

i'm five. i feel wrong. i feel out of place in my own skin, i think. i feel like a poor shadow of a girl. i decide i want to be a princess when i'm older. in my mind, to be a princess, i need to wear a dress every day, even when it snows and i have to stuff the skirt into my snowpants to play outside. princesses must feel like real girls. if i was a princess, i would stop feeling like a snake writhing around in my own skin, desperate to shed. i tell myself that. at recess, we play some running game. i don't remember which one. boys vs girls. i don't want to play anymore.

i'm six or seven. i still feel wrong. i've stopped trying to be a princess. i'm off in my own world a lot of the time. i use the classroom scissors to cut tiny holes in the sleeves of my long sleeve shirts or to clip off a tiny chunk of my hair. during carpet time, i try to touch the hair of the people in front of me without them noticing. my best friend tells me she's a tomboy. i say i want to be one too. she tells me im too girly.

i'm nine. i've sworn off dresses. i reject pink clothes and sequins. i'm wearing a hat that covers my hair and the school custodian calls me young man in the hallway. i don't know why i like that so much. i try to fit in with the boys. i play grounders with them every day after school. i don't know why, but they don't like me. they make fun of me. i still play grounders with them every day.

i'm twelve. the girls around me have started growing breasts and getting their periods. they start getting acne and thicker hair on their legs that they shave off. none of these things are happening to me. i ask my mom for a bra. i don't want to be the odd one out. i feel a mix of relief and shame when i get one. now, i can pretend i'm like them. now, i can try to hide the growing feeling gnawing inside me that something's wrong, that i'm a freak.

i'm thirteen. i still haven't gotten a period. my mom is convinced it'll come any day now. she got hers at eleven, i must be a late bloomer. she makes me bring pads to summer camp. they lie unused in my bags. she does this next year, too, and the next. i try to feel normal. i sneak and use my mom's razor to shave the baby hairs on my legs that still haven't darkened and grown thicker like anyone else. i want to feel normal.

i'm fourteen. the girls in the locker room stare at me with funny expressions on their faces when i say i haven't gotten a period after they badger that information out of me. i ask my parents for deodorant, like the other kids. they tell me no, i don't smell enough to need it. i steal my dad's old spice amber deodorant. it smells like how i want to be seen, i think. i read magnus chase. i see myself in alex, how his gender shifts and changes. for the first time, i have a word, maybe, to describe myself. i'm like her, i think. i'm genderfluid, maybe, like alex fierro. i test the waters and come out to some friends as genderfluid, and then a boy. but i find myself still feeling the same itch under my skin. i'm not just a man, or just a woman, maybe i'm both. i go back in the closet.

i'm fifteen. my doctor is starting to get concerned that i haven't gotten a period yet. he orders blood tests. they think the results are a mistake when they see the testosterone levels. i don't have the symptoms that should come with those levels. i should be going through a male puberty with those levels of t, but i'm not. they do them again. it comes back the same. i'm diagnosed with complete androgen insensitivity syndrome. i feel alone, and like a freak. my doctors want me to get a gonadectomy. i push away how i feel like a snake ready to shed my own skin for a moment. i can't search myself for my gender when i'm trying, i'm trying so hard to get through this. knowing that going on testosterone hrt wouldn't work on me, it would break me right now to admit to myself the truth i already know.

i'm sixteen. i'm sexually assaulted by my doctor while under anesthesia for a biopsy of my gonads. without any hint of remorse or even knowledge of what she did to me she tells my mom that my vagina is still very short, but not as short as she thought on an earlier examination. i will continue to see this doctor. i push her assault down. i push this down. i feel like a freak. i feel so alone. god, i feel alone.

i'm seventeen, i'm eighteen. i know now why i feel like a snake trying to shed a skin. i'm not just a woman, i'm not just a man. i'm both and something in between. but i'm too male to be a girl and too female to be a man. i'm not allowed to be either. i cry sometimes. over how unfair this feels. over how i'll never look in the mirror and see myself staring back. i don't know how i'll get through this. i have to get through this. i have to live for the kid who wanted to change his name to robin. the need to live for her weighs me down like atlas holding up the sky. i know that one day, my grip will slip and the sky will fall. but i'm trying desperately to make that day not today.

[angelst4re]

hi sweetie! i have been dying for a teacher x student type of story trope with jamie ;) with some smut if your comfortable <3

i dont think i've ever written for teacher!jamie before so i could not just let this request sit in my inbox for another 4 months... i also combined it with a jealous jamie smut request but i'm thinking of making a part 2 to this which has more jealous jamie... which i may even be writing right now!!! <3

Sugar- Teacher!Jamie x Reader

♡ warnings: NSFW!!! contains smut!!! please don't read if you're not comfortable love! NEITHER AGES ARE SPECIFIED BUT READER IS 18+ <3 it’s only ever mentioned that theres a 15 year age gap

♡ notes: i attempted to keep this as gender neutral as possible but reader is afab! also i kinda rushed this because i just needed to post something!! but there's going to be a part 2 I PROMISE!!!

“...Oh, and don’t forget, y/l/n, we have a one to one scheduled for 3:30 to discuss your exam results. I’ll be in my office.” Mr Bower, who insisted you call him Jamie, reminded you with a smile as you left the classroom. 

“I haven’t forgotten, sir.” You say as you turn back around to smile at him, and give him a little wave before you leave the room. 

You had two hours to spare before your meeting with the music teacher, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t spend the majority of the time in the bathroom making sure you looked perfect. You had been waiting for a moment like this, a moment alone with the teacher that has plagued your mind since the beginning of the school year. You and your friends, and most likely the entire class, had been captivated by not only his looks but his personality. Having learnt that he had recently become single after a three year long relationship, you felt like you stood a chance, but then you were quickly reminded of the 15 year age gap. 

However, his behaviour around you didn’t go unnoticed. You’d catch him eyeing you up when you would come in wearing a new outfit that evidently boosted your confidence, or you would catch him looking over at you whilst you were in the middle of a written exam, and he would quickly divert his eyes when they met yours. 

Despite the clear indication he may be into you the way you’re into him, you both had a very positive, friendly relationship. He would give you the best tips and advice, and be more than willing to help you progress in the ways you wished to, as he would with anybody in the class, but there was one particular encounter that you couldn’t stop thinking about. 

You and your boyfriend, Andy, had a fight the night before and you had missed your class in the morning. Jamie got in contact with you to ask about the absence, and you felt comfortable enough to explain the situation to him. He told you that even if you didn’t attend your classes that day, to at least come in to talk about how you’re feeling. He assured you that although he didn’t qualify as a therapist, it would be good to talk to someone. And so you did. 

You came in with unbrushed hair, wearing yesterday's clothes and threw yourself onto the chair in his office as you broke down in tears. You don’t remember much of that day, besides the pet names he would casually drop into his sentences. 

Sweetheart, love, darling.

He definitely knew how to charm. 

You also had a memory of staining his white shirt with tears as he let you cry into his chest, telling him how your boyfriend was a dick. How he was caught in bed with a random girl (to which there was proof) but he tried to convince you it never happened. 

You remember Jamie telling you something along the lines of, “every failed relationship should be thought of as a blessing. It might be upsetting to see it come to an end, but it means you’re still yet to find the one out there who’s for you, and it's giving the chance to find them. The one that will treat you right, even on their bad days. You’ll never know where this person may be, but they’re definitely out there.”

It was apparent through a quick google search that Jamie was definitely experienced when it came to relationships, so you knew to trust him on this one. 

You kept checking the time on your phone, waiting and waiting and waiting for it to hit 3:25 so you could begin walking towards Jamie’s office, but the time seemed to pass so slow. 

It was only 3pm. 

You sighed, placing your phone back down on the table you were sat at in the library. All your friends had gone home as you finish early on a Wednesday, yet you agreed to meet Jamie today as it was the only afternoon he had free this week. 

Only seconds after placing your phone down on the table, the screen lights up as it begins to ring, the noise causing everyone to turn around, some even sending dirty looks your way as you pick up your bag and leave, answering the phone as you begin to walk towards the building where Jamie’s office was. 

“What do you want, Andy?” You sighed, holding the phone up to your ear. 

“I miss you,” he said, a feeble attempt to guilt trip you, “I was just looking at some old pictures and-”

“It was your idea for us to take a break in the first place. I’m not just going to drop everything and come running back to you because you ‘miss me’.” 

“I’m sorry, okay. I realised what I did was wrong and…” 

You stopped listening to what Andy was saying as Jamie passed you in the hallway, sensing your distressed state he stopped quickly to mouth an ‘is everything okay?’, to which you nodded your head. 

“I don’t care, okay. Whatever you have to say I’m sure I’ve heard it all before. When I’m ready to talk to you I will, until then just please give me some space.” You say before ending the call, and you jump as you realise Jamie was waiting by your side. 

You were blocking the door to his office. 

“I’m so sorry!” You apologise, stepping to the side. 

“Don’t apologise!” Jamie gasped, as if you had offended him, before opening the door for you, “we can start early if that’s okay with you, I have nothing else planned this afternoon.” 

Nodding your head, you entered his office. 

“So he’s still giving you grief- Andy?” 

“How did you guess?” You scoff as you sit down on the chair opposite his desk. 

“I don’t know how a someone like you can stay with someone like him-”

“We’re on a break, actually.” You interrupted. “Although he seems to care about me more now than he did in the 8 months we were together.” 

“You need to leave him for good, sweetheart.” He told you, as he rummaged through the cabinet beside his desk, pulling out your exam papers and setting them in front of you. “So, let’s begin!”

Only twenty minutes into the session, your phone began to ring again, and you apologised to Jamie, getting ready to leave the room to take the call before realising it was Andy again. Jamie didn't look best impressed as you ran a hand through your hair stressfully. 

“Give me your phone.” Jamie sighed. 

“No, it’s okay, really. I’ll just switch it off-”

“Y/n. Phone.”

The sternness in his voice sent chills through your body, yet a warmth grew in your lower stomach. 

By the time you handed your phone over to him, Andy had stopped calling. Hopefully, he had given up, but you knew he would keep going until he got his way, like always. 

“You know, sweetheart, the look on your face when you saw it was him calling you told me everything.” Jamie said, leaning back in his chair. 

“What do you mean?” You scoffed. 

“You know what I mean, darling. Please stop trying to convince yourself he’s a good guy, not when he treats you like shit and expects you to drop everything for him. You deserve better.”

“And how do you know that? Sure, me and Andy might have our moments, but when he can be nice… he’s somebody completely different. Deep down, he’s a really good guy, Jamie.” You explain, feeling tears of frustration begin to gloss your eyes. 

“I’m not buying it, love.” He said, shaking his head in disbelief. 

And that was all it took to push you over the edge, shoving your phone into your bag as you pushed your exam papers towards him and stood up. 

“That’s it, I’m not taking this anymore.” You frown, turning around to leave. 

“There we go, that’s what you should say next time Andy’s on the phone-”

“Oh, Jamie, won’t you just shut up!” You shout, throwing your arms in the air. “What is your fucking problem today?”

“Well, technically your ‘boyfriend’ isn’t my problem, so…”

“Why do you care so much?” You finally say after a moment's silence, your hands placed on the back of the chair you were previously sitting on. 

“You’re my student. It’s my job to care.” He answers, simply. 

“But there’s more to it than that. Isn’t there?” You swallow, bracing yourself for his reply, “c’mon Jamie, I’m not stupid.” 

“What are you trying to imply, darling?” He chuckles, standing up from his chair and making his way towards you, “are you talking about the way I catch you staring at me in class when everyone else is working, or how about when I hear you gossiping with your friends about my love life, or about how you could tell I had used a different aftershave one day…” 

The smirk on his face was devilish, but you had no time to process that with your recent revelation. 

“You’re jealous.” You stated, turning to look up at him. “You’re jealous of Andy.” 

“Darling, I have no need to be jealous of him. Not when I know you’re leaving him.” 

“You don’t know whether I’m-”

You never got to finish that sentence as you were met with his lips on yours. His hand came up to cup your cheek, his thumb wiping away a tear which had fallen in your moment of frustration. As he pulled back from the kiss, he pressed his forehead against yours before whispering,

“What if I prove you- show to you why you should leave him, hm?” He asked, although it wasn’t much of a question as he could tell by the way you were looking at him what the answer was going to be. “I need words, baby.” 

“Yes.” You managed to say, after catching your breath. 

A smile spread across Jamie’s lips briefly before you pulled him back in, missing the feeling of his soft lips against yours. With one hand on your waist, holding you against him, the other was placed on your cheek again, whilst your arms wrapped around his neck. You had dreamt and fantasised about this moment for months, but you never expected it to ever happen. It was always more of a scenario to help you fall asleep rather than something that would actually come true. 

“Does he fuck you good, hm? The way you want?” He asks, breathlessly, as he lifts you up onto his desk, shoving everything out of the way. 

You shake your head, using the slight space between you to reach for his belt, but he seemed to have other plans. 

“Has he ever gone down on you?” He asked bluntly, his fingers dipping into the waistband of your shorts, easing them down your legs along with your underwear. 

You once again shake your head, you have only received head once, and that was during a drunk fling at your friends birthday party- and even then you didn’t get to finish. 

Jamie simply chuckled, as if to say he wasn’t surprised. 

“Poor thing,” he frowns, lowering himself to his knees in front of you as he holds your legs open for him, placing kisses on your inner thighs, trailing down to your knees before going back up again, stopping where you needed him the most. “You ever cum when he fucks you?” 

And as if on command, you shook your head again.

“Only when I’m alone.” You confess. 

“Oh yeah, and who do you think about whilst you touch yourself?” He teases, his thumb gently stroking your clit as you fight the urge to close your legs. He looks up at you, stopping all movement as he waits on your answer. 

“You, I think about you, Jamie.” You whine.

“Oh, honey, I know.” He says before you feel his lips on your skin, his tongue circling your clit as his fingers move a little lower, finding your opening and teasing circles around it before gently pushing one in. 

His fingers were a favourite in your fantasies, thinking about what they could do, and he certainly did not disappoint. 

A second finger followed the first and they began curling inside you, searching for a spot Jamie was sure your ex would never have been able to find, and when you let out a choked moan he smirked against you, knowing he’d found it. 

Hif fingers rubbed against this spot inside you as his tongue licked, sucked and nibbled on the sensitive nub, and you were frighteningly close to the edge. You had never reached your high so quickly before, but as his hot breath fanned over your clit you tumbled off the edge, your orgasm washing over you. Your release began to drip down his hand as he continued at the pace he started, and your legs shook as you panted, your fingers pulling at his hair. 

“Jesus,” you whispered breathlessly. 

“Just me, darling.” He smirked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before coming back up to place a kiss on your forehead. 

You couldn’t believe the timing as there was a knock at the door to Jamie’s office. The two of you both froze for a moment, before Jamie handed you your clothes and rushed to the door. 

“Mr Bower, I know you usually go home early today but Margaret told me you were here so I was just wondering if I could-” 

“I’m in a meeting right now, Sasha, can you wait just two minutes?” He put on his best grin as he his behind the slightly open door to disguise his hard on. 

“Oh, of course! Sorry to interrupt!” The girl apologised before Jamie shut the door. 

“Sorry, sweetheart, we have to cut it short today. But you’re sure to be back in here later this week, or should I say let's reschedule?” He tried to hide his smirk when your legs wobbled as you got off his desk.

“I’m available all week, unless I decide to see Andy-”

“Honey, if I have to hear about him once more-”

“You’ll get all heated and fuck me senseless over your desk?” You grinned, feeling slightly giddy after the mind blowing orgasm he had given you, “why on earth would I want that?”

[genderqueerdykes]

is it bad to be scared to start hrt?

i feel a little ashamed that i am. i try my hardest to be positive about all the things that make men & mascs masculine. i try to appreciate the parts that arent valued by society, like male pattern baldness, being fat, hairiness (love that part especially lol), etc.

but im 15, and i go back and fourth over whether or not i want to start testosterone. i had terrible cystic acne before i started acne medication, i have male pattern baldness on my dads side etc. im not a binary trans guy, so i kinda doubt ill be on it forever anyway if i DO wind up doing it, but its really scary to be told all the stuff that WILL make me a man when im… just a boy. that feels infantalizing but i suppose its true. im scared to be a man admittedly, im angry i never got to have a “true” boyhood because in currently at that age, and im scared of being thrust into it after not getting to be one. theres so much stuff about becoming “ugly” after starting testosterone. i know thats not true, logically, but ive faced so much bullying for not being pretty enough as an afab that i guess i still have that vanity embedded within me.

i feel ashamed for it, do you have any advice?

no, absolutely not- i think it's super reasonable to be scared to start HRT. it's a huge change, it affects your body and mentality in many different ways. it's a lot to take on at once especially considering there are permanent effects if taken for long enough at a high enough dose

i get why you'd be worried at that age. i didn't start HRT until i was in my early 20s. i think its okay to give yourself some time, especially considering you have some concerns about it potentially affecting your health. it would be ideal to find a way to get your blood tested for a few things- liver enzymes, red blood cell count, estrogen and testosterone levels, and so on. if you can't do that, it's understandable. i know it's not easy for someone your age to get a ride to a place like that discretely

is it possible to contact your dermatologist about your acne and see if they would be able to weigh in on that? baldness is a tricky thing. some people do bald but really late in life. some people don't. a lot of transmascs have their hairline recede by a few inches and then it usually stops. the nice thing about hair loss is there are medications that work very well that can help mitigate that. gender affirming care specialists or other doctors who prescribe testosterone are usually aware of the effects on scalp hair, and usually they'll help you test for high blood pressure, any issues like that

honestly i get where you're coming from here. i've seen this way too many times. people get pissed off about someone being a type of trans they don't like so they just bully the person until they consider detransitioning or never start transition at all, and then continue to mock and harass them anyway. i see this all the damn time and it bugs me like why would you do that to someone. who cares

people think it's ok to bully trans men & mascs right now because of all of the transandrophobia and antimasculism in general. testosterone doesn't make anyone "ugly", people are projecting their hatred of men and mascs on to a hormone that almost everyone produces naturally. it's just hateful senseless bullying. people think the younger the trans man/boy/masc is, the more valid they are to bully them.

it's okay to identify as a boy for as long as you need. you actually never have any obligation to adopt the label man if it doesn't fit you. many people identify as boys instead of men. some people are guys and not men. it's okay some people find they have to take their time to transition from boy to man. you're only 15 you are still a child, you don't have to worry about being a man for quite a while

it's definitely okay to feel conflicted and confused here. if you're able to, take time to yourself where you shut all that noise from other people out. if you're able to just ask yourself a few questions like why do i identify as a boy, what about it makes me happy, what kinds of things do i want to do in transition. just try to get a feel for what's going on so it makes it hard for people to get in your head

remember that when people attack you like this they're projecting something they deeply hate about themselves on to you. my therapist told me that last week and i thought i would just relay that. it's alright to be affected by it, but they really are just being assholes. it's good to be a trans man/boy/masc. transmasculinity is good. testosterone is good. testosterone saved my life. i'm glad to get up in the morning every day because i at least look and sound like myself. i love my body. i love the way i look. i'm stronger. i stand taller. my face is the right shape. my voice sounds right.

life is good

i hope you found any of this helpful. good luck, it's okay to feel guilt or shame for a bit. i did NOT want to come out as FtM for a VERY long time it was hard. i get it. take care of yourself, let me know if you have any more questions

[venomous-ragno]

Writing advice...

... About military things from a soldier

Pt. 2 / ?: Women and relationships in the military

You wanna write a story with a militaristic setting, like CoD or R6S? You wanna create a female OC, self insert or character, but you don't know where to start, if women are even allowed in the military?

Well, lucky for you or not I know what that feels like and I've also got the combat / real life experience to help ya out!

Feel free to hop in my askbox or dm's and ask questions. I'll gladly elaborate and do my best to answer in full and plenty.

Disclaimer: My experiences and knowledge are mostly based on the German military, the Bundeswehr. They may differ from those of other countries.

Happy writing y'all! :)

Are women allowed in the military?

The answer seems obvious: Yes. Most militaries around the world do allow women to enlist. Some, however, do not allow women to join the special forces, such as the SAS, for example.

Certain branches report a higher number of female soldiers than others. The US army air force and sanitation in the German military are two examples I can think of.

Some countries do allow women to enlist but forbid them from partaking in "action", such as North Korea, Sweden, Norway, Bolivia and some more.

What about misogyny by male soldiers?

In my six years of active duty I've learnt that sexism rarely occurs, but when it does, it's straight forward and nasty. Most men don't care about your gender. They treat you like you're one of them, and oftentimes even forget about the fact that you're a woman. The few times I was talked down to for my gender was blatant and hateful though; but even then, some of these opinions didn't come from within the military, but from civilians. (Cue the old granpa who saw me travelling back home in uniform and just had to tell me that women belong in the kitchen, how in the good old days women were still women yadda yadda. Yeah, I had the same look about on my face like you now.)

Appearance is important!

As is in any military. I can't speak for them though, but in my experience, light and natural make up is allowed. Nail polish and lipstick are a hard no though, albeit the latter may be allowed for special occassions. If there's one thing my comrades have taught me it's that most men in the military got no clue about make up, so you'll probs get away with more than you'd think.

The exact rules however depend on your unit and what you do. Back when I was in sanitation I'd be working a pretty standard 9 to 5. Worked in the medbay and treated patients, kept the medical archive in order, pretty normal stuff. My superior allowed us to wear small ear studs. When I got deployed to another base I was almost lynched for wearing them. Really depends on the ones in charge.

As for hairstyles: Most units are fine with anything as long as your hair is up and out of your face. Now, we didn't have to use gel to keep stray hairs at bay. It wasn't that strict. Just don't use any flashy hair accessories and hair ties that match your hair colour. Oh, and your hair must be a) one colour and b) a naturally occuring one. The length doesn't matter as long as you're not Rapunzel. If your hairstyle is anything other than a pixie cut, you will have to wear a hair net under your combat helmet.

Do men and women stay in seperate dorms?

Seperate rooms? Yeah. Seperate dorms? Nope.

Sometimes you'd have couples who shared a dorm room. It's a whole process that your superior has to give his ok to, but I honestly wouldn't recommend it. Dorm rooms aren't exactly big. You need privacy? Well, that's too bad.

If you're lucky enough you get to have a room for yourself. Depending on what branch / base you're in, the rooms will be more or less furnished. Back when I worked at the ministry of foreign affairs, my room was pretty luxurious for milutary standards: TV, fridge, sofa, bed, desk w chair, a closet and a bathroom next door. That's definitely not the standard though. We usually had to buy and bring our own stuff, like blankets, fridge, decorations, whatever you'd need to make that cold room somewhat comfy. (Wifi is also not a given. Gotta get your own connection running.)

Flings, relationships, cheating spouses... How common is it really?

They do happen, though not as often as you'd think.

It's more common to hear rumors about who has smth going with who and these rumors can get BAD. As in reputation and career ruining bad. At that point there's gonna be an order from higher up to stop talking about these rumors and punishment can be quite strict. (Speaking of rumors...Hate to say it, but the more women a unit had, the worse talking behind others backs was.)

One thing that I always found particularly disgusting were relationships between higher ups and recruits. Yes, they happen. No, they're not allowed. These things are like open secrets. If found out and proven to exist, the superiors will be held accountable by military law. Outside of basic training it may be frowned upon if a superior were to enter any kind of relation with someone of lower rank, thought not outright punishable.

As for cheating... Well, I haven't enountered any cheating myself, nor heard of it (yet). Not saying that it doesn't happen, but at least over here in Germany it's rare. It's highly frowned upon and will open you up to rumors and... Not so nice treatment by comrades. Cheating on a spouse is punishable by military law. A soldier found guilty may be demoted in rank, suffer financial losses or even get dishonourably discharged.

[brayneworms]

wide eyes (cherry pies).

featuring. kobeni higashiyama/reader

word count. 1.07k

content. gender-neutral reader, kissing, intoxication, kobeni-typical crying, reader is kobeni's boss but no power dynamics, thorough consent checks, no smut but EXTREMELY suggestive, love confessions.

notes. this is an 18+ blog. minors and ageless blogs do not interact, you will be blocked.

The hand with your key had shaken trying to unlock the door to your apartment.

It might've been the nerve, or the drink, or the fact that Kobeni had stuffed her face into the crook of your neck, breathing hard and fast, her hands pawing at the back of your suit jacket, squirming like a kitten.

Regardless, they're not shaking now.

The moment the both of you stumble through the cramped parlour and kitchenette to the bedroom, dimly lit with orange string-lights and a salt lamp petulantly aglow in the corner, Kobeni is on you with a vigour you see from her once in a blue moon and always on the field. She's slightly... damp, from sweat or rain or drool or just whatever keeps her perpetually sustained in a state of unspooling anxiety, but her strong fingers have a grip on your blazer, tugging it off like it had offended her.

"S-slow—" you manage to gasp out before she reaches up to kiss you again, fast and needy, parting her lips to lick into your mouth and you groan. "Beni," you pant between breaks for air. "Ben, Beni—"

She whines when you grip her narrow shoulders and push her down, bracketing her fast with your strength. When she peers up at you, your brain flatlines a little; her usual flouncy ponytail has unravelled, leaving two scarlet clips adrift in a wave of messy brunette hair, and it frames a face scarlet with blush from cheekbone to jawline. Her lips are red, full as candy apples, wet with spit, her dark brows knitted up, her dark eyes big and deep and starving.

She makes a needy noise, tries to lean in to kiss you again, but you manage to force her back down.

"Just—just lemme breathe a minute, babe," you pant out. Kobeni goes painfully redder and nods. "Alright. Okay. Look, we've both had a little to drink. Are you sure—"

"Yes," she blurts out, before you've even finished the question. "Th—I mean—that's the only reason I f-feel brave enough to..." Her voice wilts a little, but you can suddenly feel your pulse in your skull.

"Kobeni," you say, lowly. "I... overheard you talking with Himeno a week back. I know you... you haven't done this before. I just want to make sure you want—I mean, that you know what you want. With me, of all people."

Kobeni's eyes fill with tears. "I—I only want you," she hiccups. "I m-mean... God, this is so embarrassing, but I—ever since I got assigned to you, and working under you, I mean, oh, I'm messing this up but I j-just..."

"Breathe, dove," you murmur, and—trusting her to stop jumping you like she's springlocked—move your hands to cup her face. She burns beneath your touch, eyes pools of ink staring urgently up at you. "You're not messing anything up, 'kay? I just need to make sure here. I'm not some kinda scummy boss. I—I care about you. That's half the fuckin' problem, I mean—fuck. I don't want you to regret this. That's all. Okay?"

Kobeni sniffles. "I won't. I've always... it's all I've b-been thinking about. I—every night. And tonight, going out, I thought I was being annoying, clinging to you like I did b-but now we're here and—and I'm so close, please don't send me away." She hiccups pathetically. "I, mm. I love you. I love you."

Something presses down on your chest like a weight, compressing your heart into your ribcage. And you love her too, you love her too, so you lean forwards and kiss the tear tracks on her face whilst she huffs and squirms, craning her neck; her wet lips brush yours once, twice before she makes a whiny noise of desperation and you finally bring her in.

She's jittery, switching between being too enthusiastic and freezing up—presumably because she has no idea what to do. But at least she's moving slower now, satiated apparently by getting her feelings off her chest, and she lets you guide her this time.

"On the bed," you murmur against her lips. "If you're sure."

Kobeni nods frantically, clambering upon your mattress so eagerly that the sheets tangle around her. You bite back a giggle at the sight of her, sitting on her haunches like a dog awaiting its owners return.

"Tell me, okay?" you reiterate as you start undoing your shirt of your own admission; it slips off your shoulders, and Kobeni squeaks, eyes tracking your every moment like it's the last thing she'll ever see. Lamplight glints in the onyx of her eyes. "Kobeni. You can stop whenever. Whatever you're comfortable with. I need you to tell me what to do, how far you wanna go. Okay? You hear me?"

"Y-yes," she whimpers. "I, um..." Her hands wring together, eyes averting into her lap. "I want to... I don't know. I want... you to... t-touch me?"

"That's a start," you agree mildly. "How about we start smaller, though... you wanna take your shirt off?"

Her cheeks burn, but she nods, shaky hands moving to untuck her shirt from her slacks and start on the buttons. Pale skin slices down the middle, adorned with a worn, plain black bra. It looks like it's been through the washer two dozen times—you know Kobeni sends most of her paycheck home to her family. She must not be able to afford luxuries.

You could buy her one. Not in a weird way, like an old geezer sending lace thongs to his twenty-something secretary, obviously. Just... something that doesn't look like it's held together by two threads.

Kobeni covers the exposed skin. "Sorry," she mumbles, and you realise with a lurch you've been staring in silence. "I know I'm not—y-you're probably used to more—"

"Don't think that," you interrupt, walking over and slotting yourself between her legs. The fabric of her slacks strains against her thighs, and she stares up at you, slack-jawed, starry-eyed, alight with blush. "You're so gorgeous," you murmur. "So—the second you walked into my office, oh my god. Haven't been able to get you outta my head. Do I sound creepy? You can tell me if I do."

She shakes her head wildly. "N-no! Me too! I—like you said, the second I walked in—and you've been so kind. Nobody's ever..." Her lower lip trembles. "I really love you. Sorry. I love you."

"I love you too," you murmur, and swoop in to touch her.