#I think I'm gonna like this show a lot but it's still very early of course
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kennyomegasweave · 8 months ago
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My Stand In Episode 2 Thoughts
I thought maybe Tong somehow didn’t know about Ming’s giant crush on him, but this man was letting him feed him by hand??? So no, he’s def aware and encouraging it while whole ass dating Ming’s sister and excuse me. And Ming being all “how dare you say I like Tong, that’s my sister’s boyfriend!” Like he wasn’t out here hand feeding that man. Both these men are sick. lol
Sol pissed me off with not wanting to let Ming bring Joe inside. I get he doesn't know him, but there’s a dude wearing Joe’s house clothes in his house, that’s clearly his man, even if it’s not acknowledged, so maybe don’t be possessive over a dude who isn’t yours. Joe just keeps having shitty men in their feelings flock to him, doesn’t he.
It’s taking me out that Sol’s an idol in Korea, so obviously he has that red hair. I wanna see this young man have all the colors of the wind in his hair by the show’s end. Really hammer it home.
Ming really is just such a bitch. He had Joe sleep on the ground in his own house and then sat there pissily staring at him until he woke up. I award him five points for sheer bitchery and audacity. I deduct 15 points for hurting Joe’s feelings and making me see his sad face when all Joe did was some lighthearted teasing. 
Joe just needs to run away fast and run away far. There’s other cute dick out there. Rise up out of those trenches brother. This is not an Early November song, I don’t wanna hear you sad.
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namtanlovesfilm · 2 years ago
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DAMNNN, they kinda popped off on step by step! would be a fair point to make if it wasn't itself a bl show profiting off lgbtq+ relationships but oh well 🤭
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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years ago
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truly fitting re: billions to have the lose-lose that if winston is written out i get to be disappointed for obvious reasons and if winston isn't written out i get to be disappointed for being denied ever knowing peace
#winston billions#winston rotation is evidently not contingent on ''is there new & recent canon material''#taking it back to the original [showing up for season four] days like i got to be mad abt like what; having to wait until may & june???#having More to wait on at all???? like Win in theory absolutely. in practice like at least once a half yr i have to reckon w/mortality like#or even the [suppose i'm alive though] precarity of like ughhh if i can't Readily know Of new billions material?? gonna be so mad fr....#think winston's been treated as pretty disposable the whole time so if they just actually do kick him out ever it'd be perfectly in line...#annoying & disappointing too but that also applies re like. The Limits Re Approaching Your Autistic Character That You Could Easily Surpass#i Don't give billions a lot of benefit of the doubt regarding whether its writing sees winston so much more differently than characters do#however it does see him as a funny little guy who adds flair & flavor and will can so readily wrangle & crush even this material thrown out#talking to michael greif about it all again. an edit of him in that one deh video#just substitute in some ''taylor mason''s and ''scintillating dynamic'' and etc like yeah it all still applies so hard#Not Thrilled abt the plausibility they write him off early or sm shit but also just like sigh yeah they would. if i'd be upset abt it more#then i guess that's just something to find out if it happens lol. did some work on being deeply bothered out of the way back w/s5 even....#anyways i'm half sort of humorous abt all this half sort of serious all [humor isn't Unserious anyways. it's not not a framework that#allows for and is even all the more capacious for completely genuine matters] and the nuance & granularity betwixt them is a secret.#really what it is is simply I'm Having My Very Exact Experiences and the internal philosopher symposium has it all covered#like sighing & invariably facing disappointment from billions? regardless does not mean in general complaining abt billions lol#profound differences in complaining probably. got things covered like i'm Liking & [Smh]ing in my exact & thorough ways thank you#like the completely self contained [winston billions] times....#anyways it Will be more of a direct disappointment if he's banished in ep two or some shit of course.#just also as usual: it wouldn't be the middle of billions production / anticipating the next season if it didn't seem perfectly possible#at least by this point i'll upgrade expectations to ''yeah i don't think they'd simply write him off offscreen between seasons'' but eh.#that's still a ''Probably not'' scenario....but writing him out at all? giving it a generous 50/50
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scarletwinterxx · 2 months ago
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unconditional - jeong jaehyun imagine
hellloooo~ before i go back to being an absolute mess, here's a scenario for our valentine boy. i miss him already😭🥺😭🥺
For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.
and if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛
All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.
(pics not mine, credits to rightful owner)
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Three rings.
It took three rings before you answered the call. It was late so he thought you might be asleep, but he knows you always sleep late so he gave it a try. Just before he was about to hang up he hears your voice from the other line
"What?"
"Not even a hello?" Jaehyun chuckles
"What do you need, Jae? Aren't you rehearsing right now?"
A few hours ago he sent you a text while he was at the practice room, complaining about how he wanted to go home already but he still had a lot of songs to rehearse. It's now past midnight and he just got back home and the first thing he did was call you.
"Nah, I'm back home. I need to wake up early though. I'm going to dye my hair for the fanmeet"
"What is it with you guys and dyeing your hair before enlistment?" you teasingly ask him, referring to your older brother who did the same before shaving his head full of damaged hair just a few months ago. "Are you gonna go bald too?" you ask with a laugh
"Yea no, Jungwoo's not going anywhere near me with a pair of scissors"
"Aw, I was looking forward to that"
"May I remind you how you cried when you saw Taeyong hyung after shaving his head" he reminds you, recalling that emotional night.
The two of you met through your brother, his leader, Taeyong. Through the years you and Jaehyun grew close since you're the same age and used to attend the same school. What he likes most about being friends with you is how you treat him like a normal guy, not some famous boy group member.
To you, he's just Jaehyun.
As for Taeyong, he knows there's something more but he doesn't say anything about it to you. He'll let you figure it out on your own. He already had that talk with his member and even though Jaehyun may be his bestfriend, when it comes to you it's a different conversation. Though Taeyong already knows that Jaehyun's priority is very similar to his, your safety and privacy. Your brother knows you're in safe hands.
"So why did you call again?" you ask your bestfriend
"What's your favorite hair color that I did?"
"Huh? You called just to ask me that? I dunno, blonde? Like your hair during Perfume promotion? Ooooh but pink suites you too"
He listens to you list down all the colors, waiting for you to finally pick one. He lays down on his bed, staring at the canopy above while your voice fills his ears
"Okay I think it's blonde" you say with finality like it's such a serious discussion
"Are you looking at pictures of me?" he asks, a teasing hint in his voice
"I need reference, just to be sure. Why are you asking me anyways?"
"Nothing, just curious. Anyways, I got the tickets for you for the fanmeet"
"Oh shit, didn't I tell you I can't come? I have this thing I can't miss"
Jaehyun immediately sits up on his bed, mood already deflating. It's the last time he'll perform before his enlistment and he was hoping you'd be there. You're always there to watch the group and even the individual members' concerts, in a way you try to show your support while your brother is away.
"Really? You can't reschedule the other thing or maybe come the second day?" he asks, voice still hopeful
"I'll ask my supervisor, no promises though. Sorry, this was scheduled since last month"
"No, don't worry about it. Guess I'll just see you after? I still have your gift from Paris"
"You didn't need to get me anything, I told you! Anyways I need to go, talk to you tomorrow" you hang up the call before he can say anything else.
There's really no other agenda, you weren't about to miss your bestfriend's first solo event. You were going to be there no matter what, rain or shine. You just wanted to surprise him.
The two of you still messaged back and forth before the event, until the morning of the fanmeet Jaehyun was hoping for a change of plan from you but it's been hours since he last heard from you.
"The fans are coming in now, you're going on in less than an hour" his manager tells him "Some of the members are here too, just waiting for the others"
"Okay"
He scrolls through his phone, singing quietly to himself while he waits. People are going in and out of the dressing room so he didn't pay much attention to whose coming in through the doors, little did he know one of the staff member was guiding out just outside the door while you hold a big bouquet of flowers.
"Did I overdo it?" you ask his manager, earning a chuckle from them "I think he'll like it" he tells you
"He better, I spent a good amount of money for these. He's in there right?"
"Mhm, he's alone now. You can go in, maybe he'll stop moping around"
You thank staff for helping you before stepping in his dressing room, he's sitting on the couch with his back to you so he still hasn't seen you.
"Heard you were moping around, maybe this will cheer you up"
Jaehyun turns his head so fast, almost gave himself a whiplash. Checking to see if he heard that right, if it was really you. And there you are, standing a few feet from him with the biggest bouquet of flowers
"Thought you were busy today?" was all he can say.
He really thought you weren't coming today, he was feeling really down despite looking forward to this event for weeks. He just really wanted to share this day with you and now you're here.
"I was lying, forgive me but I wanted to surprise you so you can't be mad at me" you tell him, walking over to where he was. He stands up from his seat to meet you in the middle, you give him the flowers smiling so big your cheeks hurt.
"You really think I was going to miss this? How little did you think of me?" you tease him, there you notice his blonde hair recalling your conversation from a few nights ago "You look cute, I like your hair"
He still hasn't said anything, just looking at you like he can't believe you're here
"Yah, what's with you? You okay?" you ask
Instead of saying anything, he pulls you in for a hug. One arm around your waist while the other holds the flowers you got for him.
"Thank you for coming" he whispers against your hair. You smile at his words, you throw your arms around his shoulder to give him a proper hug "Wouldn't miss it for the world. Are you going to sing my song though?" you jokingly ask as you break from the hug
He looks down at you, now mirroring the smile you had. His previously somber mood making a complete turn for the better now that you're here.
"Which one?" he teases back, even though you think he's only joking there's truth to his words. His songs is his way of confessing his feelings to you. It's not as easy to say the words outright but when he sings them, it's much much easier.
He remembers how much you liked it when he made a cover of 'Like Me Better', that was one of those rare moments he's seen you fangirl over him. When he found out one of your favorite movie moments ever was the one from 10 Things I Hate About You, the scene where Heath sings for Julia, he decided to do a cover of that two. The smile you had on when you first heard his voice singing it is forever etched in his mind.
From then on, you've been referring to it as 'your song'. He performed it too during his birthday event, you were there in the crowd of course wearing a disguise but he didn't forget to throw a smile your way as if to let you know that that song is indeed for you and only you.
"Wait and find out, I'm not gonna spoil it to you"
"So you are singing it" you grin at him, already getting excited
"I'm singing my songs too, aren't you excited for that"
"I am, shut up" you give him a punch on the shoulder, "Oh and Taeyong oppa said goodluck" you add, walking to where he was sitting before. He puts the flower down, following you on the couch while the two of you wait for his manager to call him on stage
"Are you gonna cry tonight? Promise I won't make fun of you... a lot"
He knows you would, like he knows how you would probably take a video if ever do cry. "If I cry, then you'll cry too"
"I'm a sympathetic crier, sue me"
"Your brother will kill me if I make you cry so you better not, oh now that you're here" he takes a paper bag from his stuff, passing it over to you
"Ooo goodies from Paris, is it a keychain? fridge magnet? Wait what the hell, Jaehyun?! This is expensive" you say as you open the cartier box
"Early Christmas gift" he shrugs
"You said that was the Prada bag you got me last time you were in L.A"
"That was your birthday present"
"I can't accept this, Jae. This is too much" you tell him but he's already taking the love bracelet out of the box along with the little screwdriver to put it on for you
"Add it to your stack, it will look good" he mumbles, his focus on putting the bracelet on your wrist
"You gave these too! You're spoiling me too much" you laugh, watching him struggle a bit
"Good, so now other guys won't impress you that easy while I'm gone" he mumbles, finally the bracelet locks on your wrist. He looks up at you, sending you smile then lets go of your hand. You shoot him a look, as if asking him what he meant but he choose to ignore you.
"Hey, we need you out there now. Let's go" his managers peeks his head inside, calling for Jaehyun.
He stands up, you follow behind him but before he steps out the door you hold him by the arm "We're going to talk" you tell him
"About what?" he asks, blinking back at you
"You're insufferable, you know that"
He chuckles at your statement, taking the hand that was holding his arm to hold it in his instead. Intertwining his fingers with yours. You look down at your linked hands, it should feel weird. He's your bestfriend for goodness sake. But instead it feels right, like your hands were molded to fit together.
Hoping he doesn't notice your cheeks getting warm, you keep a straight face while looking up at him.
"Told you, my songs are about you. Didn't you hear the part I said I've been crushing on you but I've just been keeping it to myself"
"How was I suppose to know that was about me?!"
"Who else would it be about?" he asks back, still smiling at you. His dimples on full display
"My answer is always you" he teases. Another song lyric, you know that one too. Rolling your eyes at his comment, you give his side a pinch using your free hand
"Jaehyun we need you backstage!" the two of hear his manager shout from outside
"You have so much explaining to do, Jeong Jaehyun" you tell him, letting go of his hand to push him out the door but he don't budge.
He smiles at you again before swooping down to give you a kiss on the corner of your mouth, catching you totally of guard.
"I'll tell you everything there is to know, later. For now I got a show to do. Gonna make sure my girl won't take her eyes off me" he winks then he opens the door, leaving of behind in utter shock.
You walk out the dressing room, watching Jaehyun's back as he makes his way to the stage. Before he turns to the corners, he looks back at where you're standing sending you a quick smile and a salute. You smile back at him, waving your hand to send him off.
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punkitt-is-here · 1 year ago
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LIFE UPDATE!!!! RAGHHH!!!
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Okay, so, as some of y'all know, I was fired from my job a couple of months ago. I reapplied, and unfortunately, despite getting an interview, I was turned down. Because of that, I'm going full-time as a self-employed artist. This means I'll be focusing on making fun stuff for my shop, learning better how to ship out items, and doubling down on doing more commissions.
As some of my wonderful commissioners know, I struggle a lot with deadlines and motivation. I have ADHD and even though I'm medicated, it still often gets in my way and kicks my ass often. It's part of why I have such a big struggle when doing commissions; they're hard to motivate myself to do and sometimes require a lot of communication back and forth that I'm just not the best at right now. I would like to say thanks to everyone that's put up with my inability to figure out a decent schedule for commission work, and hopefully everyone who's tried to get art from me will get their stuff very soon!
SO, uh, now that I don't really have a job, what's that mean? Well, I'm going to set a goal to actually make good on my promises for commissionwork. I tend to actually get a lot done in bursts, but they come and go, so I'm going to try and do weekly commissions but with much smaller slots. What I'll be doing is upping the frequency while also limiting the amount I get per-week so I can have a form of consistency with my output. That way, both parties are satisfied and I don't have to keep beating myself up for taking my time because I kept convincing myself I had a big-ass workload I couldn't chip away at.
Part of how I'll be doing this is acting like I still have a job. I'm gonna set aside work hours in the week to specifically work on commissions and shipping and interfacing with clients. I depend on the kindness and goodwill of my incredible followers, so the last thing I really want to do is tarnish that (at least any more than I have; apologies to everyone who's put up with me learning how to run a shop!). I think I'm at a point where I understand a lot of my limitations and abilities, and so I hope going forward I can begin to create a routine for myself and be able to make this something I can do far into the future! If you'd like to support me while I do this wacky lil thing, i've got a ko-fi and now a Patreon! (which I will link in my reblog since I heard Patreon links are weird here on tumblr.) I'm really excited to be launching a patreon. I can't guarantee any specific type of content, but the plan is just to show tiny little previews of stuff early if you're a supporter and stuff like this. I've never had anything of this kind, so I ask for your patience as I work stuff out, but if you feel like supporting me on either platform it'd mean the world to me. Thanks :)
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alwaysmicado · 11 months ago
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I love your writing, could there possibly be a third instalment of keep you warm please 🥹
cravings
3.4k | Joel Miller x f!reader
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post-outbreak, established relationship, pregnancy, smooching Summary: Your pregnancy hormones have you craving three things: figs, coffee, and Joel. He’s more than happy to accommodate you. A/N: Anon, thank you so much for your sweet message!! I'm so happy you liked keep you warm and never felt so loved. Both fics are very special to me, so it means a lot that you connected with them. Enjoy this one and please let me know what you think! 🤍
“Joel.”
You peer at his peaceful face, but his slumbering form remains undisturbed. He seems to be lost in the realm of dreams, showing no signs of stirring.
Undeterred, you lean in a little closer, your lips brushing against his ear as you repeat his name, the warmth of your breath a gentle caress. Still, the subtle symphony of your voice fails to penetrate the fortress of his sleep, especially on the side of his deaf ear.
Realizing your gentle approach might not suffice, you decide on a more direct method. With a hesitant resolve, you extend your hand and give his shoulder a tender shake, hoping to wake him up. 
“Joel,” you say a bit louder, the gentleness of your initial attempts replaced by a touch of urgency.
As Joel finally begins to wake, his eyes flicker open, and his gaze immediately darts to your face. He turns towards you, and his hand instinctively finds its way to your belly. His touch is both tender and firm, as if grounding himself in the reality of the life blossoming within you.
“What’s wrong?” he mumbles, worry evident in his voice. The urgency in his tone reflects the immediate need to ensure your well-being. 
You’re only seven months pregnant; it’s far too early for the baby to arrive. Did he miss any signs that something is wrong with you? You’ve been uncomfortable and you’ve been experiencing horrible back pain for the past few weeks, yes, but besides that, you seemed fine, right?
It’s typical of you to keep quiet and hide your pain from him. What if he wasn’t attentive enough? He shouldn’t have left you alone at home for so long, he should have taken better care of you. This can’t be happening again, please, God–
“Joel,” you interrupt his racing thoughts, sensing the mounting panic radiating off his body. You place a reassuring hand on his warm chest, and the other over his on your bump. “Breathe. It’s okay. The baby’s fine. I’m fine.”
Relief washes over him, but confusion quickly takes over as he notices the glisten of tears on your moonlit cheeks. Concern deepens the furrows on his forehead as he searches your eyes for an explanation.
“What happened, darlin’?” he asks, his voice a gentle murmur, trying his best to remain calm.
“I…I love you so much,” you finally blurt out, your voice breaking. Unable to contain the surge of emotions any longer, you let your tears fall freely. The intensity of your love for him feels overwhelming, almost painful, tonight. You know it’s silly, but you can’t help it.
You need him to know.
Joel blinks, his brain needing a few seconds to register your unexpected declaration of love. As he processes the situation and your words, the realization dawns that the unpredictable currents of pregnancy hormones must have taken hold of you. His expression immediately softens, a hint of amusement replacing his initial confusion.
“Well, now ain’t that a sweet thing to wake me up for.”
You sniffle, feeling a bit offended by his nonchalant response.
“Joel, I’m serious. It–it hurts, you know? My heart feels like it’s going to burst with love for you and I feel like I’m gonna die if I can’t get you to understand how much I love you. Please tell me you understand and–and that you know and will never forget? Please?”
Your voice breaks again as your big, watery eyes pierce Joel’s soul. He sits up, his face softening further as he realizes the depth of your feelings.
“C’mere,” he says, pulling you into his arms. You rest your head against his chest as his hand rubs soothing circles on your back. 
“I understand, sweetheart,” he murmurs against the crown of your head. “I know how much you love me, even though I need to pinch myself sometimes to make sure I’m not dreamin’.” He gently strokes the back of your head. “Why such a wonderful person like you would love a grumpy old man like me is beyond me, but I’ve accepted it a long time ago. I know you do, darlin’. You can be sure of that.”
Your gratitude echoes in a soft “thank you” against his warm chest, the emotional weight on your shoulders lifting slightly as you try to steady your breathing. Sitting up next to him, you turn to meet his dark, alert eyes, your vulnerability laid bare.
“I just…what is wrong with me? I’ve never been this emotional. It’s exhausting and it sucks so bad,” you admit, a hint of frustration coloring your words. You look into his eyes, seeking understanding and reassurance.
“I know I probably sound like a crazy person, but I honestly don’t know what to do with all this love for you. It’s like it’s too much for me. And…I don’t wanna freak you out or be too clingy, you know, I’m really trying to give you space, I am. It’s just too much right now and I feel so lost and scared that you don’t actually, fully understand what you mean to me. And–and it’s breaking my heart.” 
You’re gesticulating wildly, hiccups occasionally disturbing your stream of consciousness. 
“Sweetheart,” Joel chuckles as he takes your hands into his. “It’s alright, I promise. Too much love? I’m pretty sure that’s a problem most folks would like to have.”
You give him a playful glare, though your eyes are still damp. “You’re not taking me seriously.”
He shakes his head, cupping your tear-streaked face in his hands. “I am, darlin’, I am. I know how much you love me. I can feel it every day.” He gently rubs your cheeks with his thumbs. “But maybe, just maybe, the pregnancy hormones are playin’ a little trick on you tonight. They can make everything feel like it’s a hundred times more intense. But you ain’t crazy, and there’s nothin’ wrong with you,” he assures you with a soft smile. 
You huff a laugh, despite your emotional state. “It’s not a trick, Joel. I really, really love you.”
He leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “And I love you too, sweetheart, more than words can say. And about bein’ too clingy? Forget that immediately. You know I like havin’ you close.” He kisses both of your wet cheeks with his warm lips, sending a tingling sensation down your spine. “Ain’t no such thing as too much love, especially when it comes from you.”
His words carry a sincerity that resonates in your bedroom, and the corners of his lips curl into a teasing grin. “But, sweetheart, I gotta admit, I’m flattered. Never thought little ole me would have someone as lovely as you worryin’ so much about his heart.” 
A deep sigh escapes you as his lips find the sensitive skin of your neck, his hands delicately tracing the curve of your swelling belly. His words, a whispered acknowledgment of the warmth you bring to his life, stir a tender emotion within you.
“You’ve got a real knack for makin’ a man feel special, you know that?” 
Your eyes flutter closed, surrendering to the sensations of Joel’s touch, and a soft hum escapes your lips, your breath quickening with anticipation. In a barely audible whisper, you express your need for him, the desire between you two growing with each passing moment. The air becomes charged with an electric energy, and as your hand moves down his belly, the mutual longing intensifies to a fever pitch.
Joel, unable to resist the urge to have you, pulls you onto his lap, his arms enveloping you, drawing you close. The hunger that has been simmering throughout the day is unleashed in a passionate kiss that conveys the overwhelming depth of your craving for this man. Clothes are shed in a frenzy, the urgency of the moment fueled by a shared longing that borders on painful.
“Let me show you how much I love you, darlin’,” he whispers against your lips, his hands exploring your body with an intensity that mirrors the fervor of your own desire. “I promise you’ll be able to sleep after.”
– – –
The next morning arrives with the soft glow of dawn, casting gentle shadows across the room. As you slowly awaken, the enticing aroma of freshly brewed coffee tickles your senses. Joel, ever considerate of your morning routine, has prepared enough of it for you to savor as soon as you rise.
With sleepy eyes, you make your way to the kitchen, where the rich scent of the precious beverage beckons. Joel’s thoughtful gesture warms your heart, and you can’t help but smile at the simple yet meaningful act of love.
“Have I ever told you that your dad is the best?” you ask your baby, rubbing soft circles on your belly. “He would always let me have some of his coffee when we were on the road because he knew how much I liked it. Even before we fell in love. And now that you’re making me have all of these wonderful cravings, he’s making sure I get my cup every single day. Isn’t that nice?”
As you take that first sip, the warmth of the coffee spreads through you, dispelling the remnants of sleep. The familiar flavor grounds you, letting you forget your aching body and anxious mind for a minute.
“What are you in the mood for, little one? Apart from kicking me and pressing on my bladder, of course.” You smile to yourself and watch the snowflakes dancing outside the window. “I think a stroll to the greenhouse sounds nice, hm? Maybe they have new vegetables or fruits we can try. I’m still dreaming about that fig your dad brought us a few months ago, you know? You were still tiny back then, but I think you must’ve liked it.” 
You’ve repeatedly woken up from vivid dreams of eating the luscious fruit, felt the juice running down your chin, only to—very disappointedly—realize that you’d been sucking on your pillow instead.
You sigh and drink the rest of your coffee in silence before getting ready, putting on your oversized winter coat, your wooly hat, and your boots. All gifts from Maria. Maybe you could visit her today, too. You’ve been trying to make an effort to get to know her and Tommy better, after all. For Joel, mostly, but you must admit that they’ve grown on you as people — as family.
The greenhouse stands as a haven of life amid the chilly winter air. As you step inside, a wave of warmth embraces you, accompanied by the vibrant hues of thriving plants. The scent of earth and greenery fills the air, and you can’t help but marvel at the array of vegetables and fruits flourishing under the community’s care.
Maria, noticing your presence, looks up from her gardening tasks with a warm smile. “Well, look who’s here! It’s been a while. How are you feeling, sweetheart?” she greets you, wiping her hands on a cloth.
You return Maria’s smile, grateful for her welcoming demeanor. “I’m doing okay, thank you for asking,” you say as you take off your thick coat. “The baby’s been quite active lately. She even kicked so hard a few nights ago that she woke Joel up. He was so freaked out,” you chuckle, remembering Joel’s shocked face. “We honestly can’t wait to meet her.”
“That’s wonderful to hear,” Maria says, guiding you through the rows of flourishing plants. “Being surrounded by all this life does wonders for the soul, doesn’t it?”
You nod, taking in the sight of tomatoes, cucumbers, and various herbs thriving under the controlled environment. “It’s amazing what you’ve created here, Maria. I would love to help out as soon as I can do physical labor again. I’ve always loved looking after living things, especially animals or plants. I’m still getting used to the idea of a little human.” 
Maria chuckles, her eyes filled with warmth. “It’s a big change, but it’s a beautiful one. It’s like…finding a piece of yourself you didn’t know was missing. And then suddenly, you’re whole, and it all makes sense. You realize that all you’ve done has led you to this perfect little being, and you’ll feel love you didn’t even know you were capable of feeling. It’s, uh, it’s amazing.”
She gives you a sympathetic smile as she notices your tears. “Sorry,” you mumble, wiping them away with the sleeve of your shirt. “I’ve been so emotional lately. It’s so embarrassing.”
“No need to apologize, sweetheart. Now, what brings you here today? Just checking out our little green corner?”
“Well, I’ve actually developed a little bit of a craving for figs, and I thought I’d see for myself if you have some here.”
Maria’s expression turns apologetic. “Ah, about that…we had some figs earlier in the season, but they’ve been picked already. I’m afraid there aren’t any left.”
You furrow your brow, unable to hide your disappointment. “Oh, that’s a shame. I was really hoping to get some. Maybe next season, then.”
Maria pats your shoulder sympathetically, a knowing smile playing on her lips. “I’m sorry, dear. I remember the irresistible cravings I had with my son. I wanted cheeseburgers and chocolate, nothing else. It got so bad at some point that I’d keep chocolate bars hidden in my desk at work.”
She laughs and you smile at her, thankful that she’s sharing such a personal part of her past with you. “But hey, how about I send Tommy out to check the storage? We might have some preserved ones left. Not as good as fresh, but it’s something.”
You appreciate her thoughtfulness, “That would be wonderful, Maria. Thank you. And, well, even without figs, being here and seeing all of this…it’s really comforting.”
“Anytime, sweetheart,” Maria smiles at you. “This greenhouse is a sanctuary for all of us. And you, my dear—my dears, are always welcome here.”
– – –
The soft hum of your voice fills the cozy kitchen as you chop vegetables with honed precision. The scent of fresh produce lingers in the air, intermingling with the delicious aroma of bread and the subtle hint of bacon from the fridge. Maria’s precious gifts have transformed your modest kitchen into a haven of warmth and abundance.
As you lose yourself in the meditative act of cooking, the front door creaks open, and the familiar, comforting presence of Joel announces his return from patrol. A smile tugs at your lips, anticipation and joy bubbling within you. Before you can turn around, strong arms wrap around you from behind, and Joel’s beard tickles your neck as he presses a gentle kiss on your skin.
“Hey there, beautiful,” he murmurs, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine. “Miss me?”
“Always,” you reply, setting down the knife to lean back into his embrace. The scent of leather, gunpowder, and…Joel envelops you, a fragrance that feels like home. His deep chuckle reverberates through his chest, and you revel in the simple pleasure of being close to him.
“Is that so?” he murmurs against your neck between kisses, his hands caressing your belly.
“Mmm, always.”
“I should probably shower first,” he whispers in your ear, but you turn around in his arms and protest with a playful pout.
“No, I love how you smell after patrol,” you confess, earning another chuckle from him. “It reminds me of how you smelled when we met, you know. It, uh, it makes me feel at home.” 
Joel tightens his grip around you, his laughter turning into a soft hum of contentment. He leans in for a tender kiss, squeezing your sides affectionately before flattening his hands over your spine. You inhale deeply, savoring his comforting scent, and relish the warmth of his touch.
When you open your eyes again, you find Joel looking at you expectantly, one eyebrow raised. With a sigh and a playful roll of your eyes, you relent, begrudgingly agreeing that he can go take a quick shower. He smiles at your response, promises to be back shortly, kisses you on the cheek, and heads to the bathroom.
In his absence, you continue preparing dinner, the rhythmic sounds of chopping and sizzling creating a soothing backdrop.
“You’re gonna love this stew,” you whisper to your baby, a gentle smile playing on your lips. “Your dad taught me how to make it. He would always cook it for your sister before the outbreak, you know. It’s a family recipe.”
You sigh, your hand gently rubbing your belly as you imagine a younger Joel standing at the stove, giving little Sarah the spoon to taste the stew.
How you wish the world hadn’t been so cruel to them. 
Joel returns in fresh clothes, his damp hair combed back, the scent of soap lingering in the air. For a brief moment, he stands there, simply looking at you, his expression one of admiration and love for you and the life you two created. You glance over your shoulder, catching his eye.
“Hey there, handsome,” you say, and he steps closer, his arms enveloping you in a warm embrace. His fingers trace delicate patterns on your back, creating a comforting rhythm that matches the steady beat of your heart.
“You’re somethin’ else, you know that?” he says, his voice a low murmur filled with warmth. “I’ve seen a lot in my life, but nothin’ comes close to your beauty.” He leans in and presses a lingering kiss on your cheek.
“And I’m not just sayin’ that because you’re carryin’ my baby…even though I’d be lyin’ if I said I wasn’t very much enjoyin’ this,” he murmurs into your ear, his warm hands wandering up your belly. “And these,” he goes on between nibbles on your earlobe as his hands find your breasts, “these are just an added bonus to the beauty you already possess.”
You moan softly and pull him into an urgent kiss as you can’t resist your craving for Joel any longer.
“We got twenty minutes,” you whisper against his lips as your fingers fumble with the button of his jeans. 
“I can work with that,” he grins.
– – –  
After a filling dinner, exhaustion slowly begins to settle in, and you find solace on the couch. Joel, ever attentive, sits beside you, offering a gentle foot massage to ease the day’s strain. Wrapped in the cozy blanket he knit for you, the tender gesture elicits a contented sigh from you. 
He looks into your bleary eyes, searching for something more, something unspoken. “You sure there’s nothin’ else I can do for you, darlin’?” he asks, his voice soft but probing. 
You give him a tired smile. “I’ve got everything I need right here, Joel. Thank you.”
“Hmm, that’s a shame,” he murmurs, mischief dancing in his eyes. “I got all these figs from Tommy, but if you don’t want them, I’ll give them ba–”
“Wait, you got figs?” Your eyes light up with pure excitement as you swiftly sit up on your elbows, genuine joy bubbling in your voice.
“Yeah,” Joel chuckles, giving your feet a gentle squeeze before getting up. “I’ll be back in a minute, sweetheart.” 
He returns with a plate filled with halved figs, and your heart skips a beat at the sight.
“This,” he says, offering you one of the fruits, “is for you, my love.” Gently, he brings it to your lips, and the taste is nothing short of pure bliss. You can’t help but beam at him, overflowing with love and gratitude.
“These are amazing,” you say between bites, savoring each moment. “They’re even better than in my dreams.”
You urge Joel to join in, sharing the figs with him like you’ve shared everything in your lives since he found you all this time ago. As you enjoy the sweet fruit together, your baby begins to kick, and you burst into laughter.
“Looks like you’ve made our little one very happy,” you say, placing Joel’s hand on your belly so he can feel. Joel grins, his eyes sparkling with affection.
“Well, little one, I’m glad I could make you and your mommy happy. It’s what you do for the people you love, you know?” He leans down, his lips brushing against your belly. “You hear that, kiddo? I love you, and I love your mommy. And that’s why I’ll always be here for you two, doin’ my best to make you happy.”
– – –
Thank you for reading!! 🤍 -> keep you warm -> never felt so loved -> masterlist
794 notes · View notes
hwaslayer · 3 months ago
Text
wildfire (cs) | three.
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—spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.
—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, eventual smut
—word count: 4.8k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, general bioengineering project descriptions/terms, very vague mention of mice research work, mentions of a lil cut (nothing graphic), a lil more oc x san!!, oc x san being subtle with their actions - they're def feeling each other/checking each other out tho lol, suave sexy san!!, jongho is onto him oop 🤨, it builds up from here i prawwwmise!
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When Sunwoo said he needed help, he truly meant it. A few weeks into the new quarter, you find yourself hustling in the lab in between your class schedule. You do enjoy it though, and you find that you still have time to carve out for your friends and nights out. But, you do feel your workload slowly increasing just because Sunwoo is trying to make significant progress with his project— a project that you hope to build off if you were to fully join Professor Choi's lab. A project that would hopefully get your name on another published paper, too. And, you weren't gonna lie, you wanted to do your best and work extra hard because you needed Professor Choi to see that you fit perfectly in his lab. You needed to show him that this wasn't any ordinary research work to you and that you weren't just winging your time here, especially after he gave you that friendly but stern pep talk during your kick-off meeting with him, Belle and Sunwoo.
—FLASHBACK
"Hey." Professor Choi says while sitting in his chair. The three of you walk in, with Sunwoo plopping himself down on his couch, and you and Belle sitting at the two seats in front of his desk. "How's everyone doing?" He asks while typing away, huge Mac screen taking up the corner of his desk with his laptop connected on a laptop stand.
"Good!" You all say in your own ways.
"How about you, Professor Choi?" Sunwoo leans back onto the couch.
"Mm." He hums. "Good as can be, I guess. Can't complain." He chuckles, now fully shifting his attention to you three. "So! How'd the talk go?"
"Well, I think Y/N would work well with my project. There's so many avenues she could piggyback off of if she joins the lab afterwards that'll help contribute to a lot of the dynamic foraging, brain-wide neural dynamics work we've been doing." You watch as Professor Choi nods in agreement, now looking at you and Belle.
"She could also help with the lab-wide project I've been heading and some other 2-photon and KCR work." 
"Sounds good with me. What about you, Y/N?" He leans onto his desk, eyes glued on you while his hands are clasped together. You lick your lips and nod, nervous that all the attention is on you especially from Professor Choi. You feel like he's burning holes into you, and you can't help but feel incredibly intimidated. 
"Yeah, that sounds awesome. I'm on board with Sunwoo and Belle's plans. I'm excited to dive in." He smiles at you.
"Cool. I think we'll get some great work done during your rotation." He turns to Sunwoo. "Sunwoo, can I trust you to take care of Y/N's badge access and getting her set up with everything she needs?"
"For sure!"
"Thanks." Professor Choi stands. "And just cause I have to lay this out there, there are some expectations I hold for the people in my lab— regardless if you're a rotation student, postdoc, undergrad, staff. It doesn't matter. I expect the highest performance out of everybody, and I want my people to succeed no matter how long it takes. I expect my people to do nothing but the best and I need that to show in everything you do. Presentations. Data. Papers. Everything. I don't want anyone to settle for less than that, and you have my support every step of the way."
"Of course, noted."
"We have lab meetings every Monday at 9am up on the third floor of the south wing. I'll get you on the schedule so you can do your rotation update towards the end of the quarter."
"Journal club!" Sunwoo says, making Professor Choi laugh. "One of us!"
"Yeah, we'll get you to do a journal club presentation too." He tucks his hands in his pockets.
"Professor Choi gets us free hot breakfast for lab meetings." Belle puts her hand on your arm as you all stand and start to get ready to leave. "It's so good." You giggle.
"So, all good? We're all onboard?" You three turn to Professor Choi and nod. "Nice. Welcome to the lab, Y/N." He flashes you a smile that only you catch, a look that only you see. Like it was meant to be that way.
Your time in Professor Choi's lab will be an interesting one.
—END
"Hey." You pull out a seat and plop onto the chair, sipping on the drink you just ordered.
"Hey pretty!" Eunchae giggles, while Felix, Jiung and Jurin wave.
"Where have you been?" Felix asks, poking at your bicep.
"Shuffling between class and lab." You let out a breath, bottom lip poking out into a pout.
"She's rotating in Professor Choi's lab." Jiung looks at Jurin.
"San?" You nod. "Damn, goodluck!" Jurin chimes in and you shake your head. "He's a hottie."
"Here we go." Felix snorts.
"I mean, are we wrong?" She looks at him and playfully nudges his side, causing him to groan in response. 
"I never said you were wrong!" Eunchae giggles at his pained response. "That's just the hot topic on campus. Him and his friends."
"So hot. They deserve to be the talk on campus." Eunchae rests her chin on the palm of her hand. "How has it been in his lab?"
"It's been good! Just really fucking busy. Sunwoo is like.. at the peak of his project. He'll probably try to submit his paper within the year or something if all goes well."
"Fun times." Jiung looks at you while sipping on his smoothie. "You going back to lab after?"
"Yup!"
"I gotta head back, too." Felix says. 
"Same. I gotta run my gels." Eunchae adds.
"What about you?"
"Not today." Jiung responds. "I have a paper I need to start already for one of my classes. I've just been trying to troubleshoot some of the lasers in the lab for the other Professor Choi so I'm not entirely busy yet." You nod, checking your apple watch to peep the time. "Are you guys gonna be able to catch dinner later?"
"I should be."
"Yeah, same."
"Mm. I dunno." You tilt your head. "You can probably go without me and I'll catch up if I can."
"Sheesh, really putting you to work already."
"Yup." You sigh, finishing up your drink and your snack box full of cheese, grapes and crackers. "Anyway, I gotta get going. I told Sunwoo I'd try and fix our behavior rig today so we can start utilizing it soon."
"Text us if you'll be able to join dinner and we'll wait!" Jurin yells before you wave them off and start making your way back to the Harvey Center to finish up your tasks in lab. Part of you really wanted to stay with your friends and hang out for the rest of the afternoon, but you had promised Sunwoo you'd take the time to fix the behavior rig he had been working on for the past month. He just hasn't had the bandwidth to focus on it lately, so having you is tremendous help for him. 
When you get to the lab, there's still quite a few people lingering around in the office area in the basement, surprisingly. You pop over to their desks for small talk, getting to know the people in the lab and the projects they're working on. Most are situated at their desks, analyzing their data and coding between two monitor screens. Everyone's equally nice and passionate about what they do, it makes the environment less stressful knowing it's collaborative and engaging instead of being in a competitive nature. Belle pulls you aside to get your help just as Sunwoo is packing up for the day and thanking you for your help with the behavior rig. She takes about an hour or so of your time, giving you a quick rundown of the procedures she's working on and what you could help with in the next few weeks. It's after your time with Belle that you finally get to sit down at your desk and focus on the rig sitting on top of it. You don't think it'll take much time, and you feel like you'll actually be able to catch dinner with your friends.
Until you realize how difficult it is get everything situated on the breadboard properly. 
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San hums as he walks through the cold air, pacing towards the Harvey Center to get to his office. He's just had a good workout at the faculty lounge, and he doesn't expect too many people [if any] to be lingering around in the open office space of the lab. He knows people are cooped up in their own laser or behavior rooms right now, and it's not even the first time he'll be strolling in casual clothes. He tries to keep himself clean and pressed down, but he too, has his days where he just wants to head to work in some jeans. A tshirt. Hoodie.
Right now, the cold is pricking his skin because he's in a black Nike dry fit shirt and sweats. He's running to the office to finish up a few last minute things before heading home and relaxing. As expected, the hallway feels eerily quiet. He assumes there could be one or two people locked away in the rooms, but he won't bother. When he gets into the office space, he doesn't see anyone in particular until he turns the corner towards his office and finds you sitting at your desk in the corner. The computer screen is pretty bright, and you've got your hands tied with a rig. 
He definitely wasn't expecting you to be here.
"Fuuuck." He hears you slightly whine when the small allen wrench in your hand slips and tumbles to the floor, followed by a few screws sitting on your desk.
"Hey Y/N, you okay?" San asks, dropping his duffle bag right in front of his office door before slowly walking over to you. You look up in surprise, eyes quickly scanning Professor Choi in his casual outfit. You're stunned at how good he looks in something so simple, how big and defined his arms are in that tight shirt; he looks so good you almost forget to respond.
He sure as hell catches on though, a tiny smirk growing at the corner of his lips.
"Oh, yeah. I'm trying to unscrew this but Sunwoo's got it in there tightly. I'm afraid I'm weak." He laughs and shakes his head.
"Nah. You're not weak." He picks up the allen wrench from the floor. "Which one?"
"This." You point. "And this too, while you're at it." He chuckles.
"You got it, boss." San angles himself closer to you, face only inches away from yours when he dips to get a better look. You watch as his arm muscles flex when he gets the wrench in there and starts undoing the screw, loosening it in a matter of seconds. "I'll let you do the rest." He moves onto the next and loosens it shortly after. When he finishes, his face is only inches away from yours and he keeps a hold there. He's looking at you again, really looking at you, and you feel the heat rise to your cheeks. You're not sure what else to do besides nibble on your bottom lip.
"Thank you." You manage to choke out. He gives you a soft smile before handing you the allen wrench and standing fully upright.
"You didn't hurt yourself, did you?" 
"Um, no. I didn't." San looks at your hand a little further and notices the fresh scratch near your pinky— probably due to your hand slipping from the force, scratching it against one of the mounts sitting on the board. 
"I didn't expect you to lie to me so quickly." He teases, slight whine in his tone while he clicks his teeth. "Can I see?" You show him your hand. "Come to my office, got some ointment for it." He nods towards his door and leads the way. San could damn well show you to the lab's first aid kit down the hall, but his office is much closer and he'd feel a bit better than just sending you off to fend for yourself. 
"Professor Choi, I can just find the—" Before you can finish your sentence, he's already swinging his door open and holding it open for you.
"It's much quicker than heading down the hall to the first aid kit." He laughs a bit. You give him a tiny smile as you brush past and walk into his office, feeling a bit awkward being in his private space for something as little as a cut. You fiddle with your fingers as he places his duffle bag down onto the couch before grabbing the first aid kit in one of the drawers near his desk. He grabs a small pack of ointment and a bandaid, approaching you in the middle of the room. "Mind if I..?"
"Not at all." You leave out your hand for Professor Choi to take and he gently tugs it closer. He applies the ointment on your scab, dabbing it lightly across the surface before grabbing the bandaid and placing it on top. 
"There."
"Thank you, Professor Choi."
"You're welcome. Be careful next time. Make sure Sunwoo does the heavy lifting."
"I know. He's good help. I just figured I'd help him get a head start." San gives you a small smile. "Mind if I ask? What're you doing here later in the evening?"
"Sometimes, I just stay to get my work done. Can't always rely on my home office to keep me productive." He chuckles. "Plus, I get my workouts in at the faculty lounge." You nod.
"I see."
"How long have you been in the lab today?"
"I've been in and out in between classes."
"You haven't eaten dinner?"
"Nope. Dining hall doesn't close until 9pm, though." San looks at the time on his computer.
"Which is getting pretty close. You should wrap it up." You look at him with a small pout and it feels too difficult having to keep his composure while you keep looking at him like that. His eyes quickly dip to the low cut shirt you're wearing before he manages to divert his attention back up to your eyes. The tension is palpable, but you don't say anything. Even if you caught it, even if you wanna tease him a little. You try to stick to your own lane in case all of this is pure delusion. 
You're so fucking pretty, though. It's bad for San. 
Unhealthy.
"I mean, don't get me wrong. It's nice knowing you're working hard in the lab." He follows up with a laugh. "But, you should also get some time in for yourself. Rest and eat well. You can always come back to the work tomorrow."
"What if I fall behind?"
"There's no such thing on falling behind if you're constantly working on so many different aspects, Y/N. Plus, it's not gonna be perfect. You'll have days that're slow, that'll feel like you aren't getting much out of your project. But, I promise it picks up again and things will come out of it regardless."
"Noted." You smile at him. "I appreciate that."
"How about I finish up in there and we head out together? I'd really hate to leave you here in the office alone, especially if I don't have to." You look at him and even though everything inside of you is fighting, pleading, to say no, you end up with—
"Okay." You softly respond. "I'm gonna go clean up."
"Sounds good. I'll be out in a minute." He gives you that look again and you hate that you don't know if he looks at everyone else like this or just you. You eye him once more even as he's turned towards his desk checking his phone before you head out of his office and to your desk. You did make good progress on the rig, which you know Sunwoo would be grateful about. The only thing he needs to do is add the part he created the other day, a tube where the mouse would be situated for lick behavior tests.
Meanwhile, San plops onto his computer chair and pulls up his emails, looping in the appropriate people to help fix certain issues. He's got a few emails regarding just-in-time information needed for the grants he's been re-applying for, making a mental note to hop on a quick meeting with the people involved so they can get their reports and data together and send it off in a timely manner.
It never ends, he thinks. 
All is his life consists of now is work. The lab. Collaborating in various projects across departments. Working out. Sometimes, San wishes there was something else he could look forward to. Something else that could take time out of his day, something that he could put his attention to. Something like—
jongho: still on campus?
He turns to his phone when the text tone goes off, seeing the message from Jongho. San quickly checks the time and finishes up the last email he was working on before he got distracted.
san: yeah, gonna head out tho. just working on some last min urgent emails that came in.
jongho: wanna grab something to eat? i'll meet you at your car
san: alright, give me like 10 mins. 
San sends off his last few emails before checking his calendar for tomorrow's meetings. He has a virtual talk after class that he needs to prep for, which he'll do later tonight. Plus, he'll need to gather that information for the grants. Just thinking about it makes San breathe out a heavy sigh, slightly feeling overwhelmed at his never-ending to-do list.
Yeah, a new hobby or distraction would be nice.
"Ready?" You turn to see Professor Choi locking up his office, duffle bag slung on his shoulder. When he's done, he turns and gives you a small smile; patiently waiting for you to be ready. You nod, locking your computer and grabbing your things before walking out behind him.
"So, do you always work out in the evenings?"
"I try to, yeah." You look up at him while he walks alongside of you. "Helps me release steam from all the stuff going on."
"I can only imagine." You tug on your bag strap. "I don't know how you do it with your busy schedule."
"I'm not too busy." He says in a playful tone. "Just enough."
"Sure." You laugh. "Everyone knows how busy and occupied you are, Professor Choi."
"What if everyone just hypes me up too much and has the wrong idea about me?"
"I doubt that."
"How would you know, hm?" He smiles when he presses the elevator door. 
"Oh, please. I never not see you in a meeting or talking to someone, or doing a talk somewhere." You slip into the elevator with him. He rests against the rail on the opposite side from where you stand, fully facing you. "You even did that episode not too long ago for Professor Young's podcast."
"Wow, you really keep up, don't you?"
"How could I not?" He chuckles.
"That's nice to know that you do." He means it. As much as he loves when people treat him like a regular person, he also loves it when people keep up with his projects. His papers. His talks. He's not gonna lie; it is an ego boost, and he likes knowing that people take time out of their day because they're interested in hearing what he has to say or what he's working on now.
It's definitely nice coming from you.
You quietly stand off to the side, watching as the elevator takes you from the basement to floor 1 of the building. San is subtly eyeing you from where he stands, noticing how you keep to yourself and shift your weight between your feet in some kind of anxious move to get off of the elevator. You can barely look him in the eye and he thinks it's cute.
"What're your plans after you get dinner, Y/N?" He breaks the silence as you step out of the elevator and out of the building. The night isn't too chilly— the stars are dotting the sky beautifully, crickets are beginning to chirp. There aren't too many people moving across campus anymore, which is the usual at this time. Most are huddled up in lab if they're the working night-owl type, or resting at their dorms or apartments to get ready for the next day.
"Finish my loads of homework and try to hang out with my friends for a bit if we all aren't too tired."
"That's nice, minus the homework part." You giggle.
"What about you? If you don't mind me asking." He smiles.
"I don't. I'm just gonna meet up with the other Professor Choi and grab dinner with him."
"You two are close, yeah?" He nods.
"Yup."
"That's cute." 
"Is it?" He asks in a playful, sing-song way that has you shifting your attention to your feet to bite back a huge smile.
"It is. Very." You finally look up at him and meet his eyes. "By the way, I hope I'm not making you walk extra steps tonight." You point at the dining hall just down the path. "I can take it from here if you need to get to your car or meet him somewhere else."
"It's alright, I parked right over here." He nods towards the parking garage coming up on the left. "Easiest garage to find parking at."
"Works out then." You give him a tiny, toothless smile.
"Your friends are able to join you for dinner, right?"
"Should be. I'll call them in a few." You pause in your steps when the garage is directly to the left now. "Thanks for walking me, Professor Choi."
"You sure you don't need me to walk you towards the end of the path?"
"All good. I'm a big girl." He laughs.
"Yeah." He's doing that thing again. That thing where he just looks at you with a certain glint in his eye— a certain glint that makes you overthink, makes you wonder if he does this with everyone he comes across, or if it's just you. 
"Goodnight, I hope you have a good dinner."
"You too." You give him one last smile and wave before you start walking towards the dining hall, creating more distance between you two. You don't catch the way he continues to watch you until you've managed to cross the street and approach the dining hall— phone pressed against your ear because he assumes you're calling up your friends to meet you.
When he feels comfortable to take his eyes off of you, he crosses the way to the garage and starts walking towards his car that's sitting on the current ground level, Jongho patiently leaning against the tail end of it.
"Uh." Jongho laughs. "The hell was that?"
"What was what?"
"I saw you from here, don't try and be slick on me now." 
"It was nothing?" San pops open his trunk and tosses his duffle bag in.
"Didn't look like it." Jongho snorts.
"Y/N was just in lab and I didn't want her to leave alone."
"Your rotation student?"
"Mhm."
"Okay. I'm all for being a gentleman but be careful." He gives him a look.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I've known you for years, bro. There's a certain look in your eyes and it doesn't exactly scream 'nothing.'" 
"Well, it is." Is all San says. He doesn't really have anything else to say because he doesn't wanna sound like he's defending himself way too much when he doesn't need to. He knows better. Maybe. Hopefully.
"Aye." Jongho shrugs. "Want you to be happy but just keep it safe, yeah? You've worked really hard for everything you have."
"I know." San lets out a breath. "Anyway, where do you wanna go for dinner?"
"Happy hour at the bar nearby? I can be passenger princess, or if you really want, we can drive separately to make it easier. I guess." He playfully huffs, making San chuckle.
"Just get in." 
On the way to the bar, Jongho gives San more details about the collaboration and that the group is incredibly interested in moving forward. San nods, agreeing that it would be good for them and everyone involved both funding-wise and opportunity-wise. Jongho then tells San about his recent grants that were finally accepted and re-awarded, giving him a little more leeway to purchase new equipment he's been having his eyes on for Jiung and a few other of his lab members to toy around with. There's a certain idea that's been floating in his head for awhile now, one that San honestly doesn't understand much about because electrical engineering is a whole other beast to him. He gets the gist, and he knows Jongho has only done incredibly work, continuing to one-up himself every single time he comes back around with a new idea.
"So, there's another thing I've been thinking about." Jongho says, as they finally arrive to the sports bar and follow the host to a table on the back patio. 
"Should I be scared?" San asks as they sit and immediately order their go-to beers and the karaage they love so much. 
"I was thinking of asking the dean for some real estate at the new campus building."
"Bartlett Hall? The one that just finished construction?" Jongho nods.
"Mhmmm." He responds in a sing-song tone. "I briefly mentioned it to him in passing and he told me we'd talk more, but was hoping to get you onboard, too."
"Why me?" San laughs, picking at a piece of karaage with a toothpick before popping it into his mouth. Before San can hear Jongho's reasoning, the server comes back to take their orders. They both order different burgers, planning to exchange a half for the other. 
"Was thinking we could open the joint department together, finally have a space for us to combine our work in electrical engineering and bioengineering." San pokes out his bottom lip and nods.
"Sooo, we'd have to write a whole pitch and sell it to the dean?"
"Yeah basically, but we can run it by Namjoon first and see what he says."
"I'm down. I dunno if the dean will budge without implementing certain requirements from our end, but, I'm down to try."
"Yeah?" Jongho laughs. "Glad to hear you're down. It'll be good! I've been thinking about it for awhile but I was always hesitant. Think it's probably just best to take the leap. Worst thing they can say is no."
"That's true. Yeah, I'm down. It'll be good for the students and the postdocs. They'll have a space for them to collaborate together. Pretty exciting to think about, actually."
"Thought so." Jongho sips his beer. "I'll start working on a proposal and send it to you for edits."
"Sounds good with me."
"How was that meeting with Zara, by the way? I never got around to asking."
"Oh, it was good." He shrugs. "We talked a lot about getting her lab situated and getting on more grants ASAP."
"Sounded like a productive talk. Have you met again afterwards?"
"Yeah, it was." San clears his throat. "We met a few more times just to talk a bit more on some finer details for her lab and plans. Hope it was helpful at least. I turned her to Namjoon most of the time cause who else would know more?" Jongho laughs.
"Yeah."
"She's cool, though. Really sweet." Jongho snorts. "What?"
"I see Mingi's plan isn't really working well." San rolls his eyes, stuffing a few fries into his mouth before taking a bite. 
"Yeah, no. It's not." San shakes his head. "Don't even think about instigating, either."
"It's kinda fun. Plus, she's obviously attracted to you."
"No." San shuts it down.
"Why not? Why don't you just continue seeing where it goes?"
"I am, and I'm still in the same position I was when I first met her."
"Which is?"
"I respect her as a colleague and a colleague only." San glares at him. "I'm not going to force anything that isn't meant to happen." 
"Okay, fine. You're right. I'll get behind that." Jongho dips his last fry into the ketchup before looking back up at his bestfriend. "But at least promise me you won't be entirely closed off to it if it does naturally develop into something?"
"Uh." San pauses. He pauses not because of Zara or whatever Jongho's saying right now; he meant to agree, but he finds his thoughts suddenly roaming to.. you.
His curiosity, the need to learn more about you.
"Hello?"
"Sorry." San shakes the thoughts from his head in case Jongho can hear it or something. "Yeah."
"Definitely not genuine. What's on your mind?"
"Nothing."
"I can hear you thinking."
"Can you? That's an invasion of privacy."
"It's her, isn't it?"
"I literally have no idea what you're talking about." Jongho stares and gives him a certain look, causing San to divert his attention away. Away from him, onto anything, anyone nearby.
"Yeah, okay. That's all I needed to know." Jongho quietly sips on the rest of his beer before pushing his plate aside and sitting back into the seat. "San, make your decisions wisely."
"I already told you it was nothing."
"Okay." Jongho says in defeat, leaving the topic alone. All he wants is for San to be genuinely happy, just like their other friends do. But, he's also hoping San is smart enough to make the right [and wise] decisions.
Not be blinded by anything, causing him to make irrational and impulsive decisions based on his feelings.
"Anyway, are you good to go?" San crumples the napkin and tosses it onto his plate before standing up and grabbing his keys, phone.
"Yeah, I am."
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—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thespiffynerd
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stellas-and-tonitruses · 7 months ago
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these last 3 chapters more than ever have left me wondering about the timeline of spy x family and in particular,
donovan's age.
i'm not going to go too deep into the full timeline because i simply don't think we have enough info to make a real robust timeline, BUT i do think we can very feasibly approximate donovan's age with our current info.
I also won’t be using any precise years like 1964 or whatever bc at this moment in time I find that to be kind of useless, bc the only years we have happen very early in the story in background details and for a lot of those ones, I noticed endo had a tendency to just carelessly put whatever so long as it looked fine from afar, which includes news that were happening around the time of that chapter's release. SO unless he decides to explicitly highlight actual years, I’m not gonna be like “this happened in 1964 and that happened in 1953” and anything of the sort.
now, i shall partake in my least favorite activity.
✨math.✨
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so uh buckle up my fellas and feel free to correct me anywhere where i might be wrong bc i am more than aware that math is NOT my strong suit!
SPOILERS FOR CHAPTERS 97, 98 AND 99!
gonna start with the facts!
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according to the spy x family EYES ONLY fanbook, henry henderson is 66 years old at the time of the current events of spy x family! in the past three chapters we have learned that there is a 3 year age gap between him and martha, so that would make her 63 years old currently.
as of the events of chapter 99, he is 22 years old (and martha is 19), assuming there wasn't any years-long time gap that was not mentioned within the chapter! which, it doesn’t seem like there were any MASSIVE time gaps, so I’ll be using those ages for calculating.
so, what all this means is that we are (roughly) 44 years into the past at the moment! previous info about the war of loid and yor's childhoods puts it at around 20 years old, so from where we are in the backstory, we still have roughly 20 more years before Luwen is attacked — clearly, because this first war has already ended with donovan still in school.
while we don't have loid's age, we do have yor's, who is 27 years old — meaning she was born around the time of henry being 39 years old, aka clearly neither loid nor yor have been born yet as of the events of chapter 99. too into the past for now!
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now, how am i gonna get donovan's age out of all this?
simple! henry's his teacher and has a talk with him after his jail time.
like I mentioned previously, I shall be sticking to 22 for henry’s age here. it may not be fully correct, it may be a year or two off because we aren’t given concrete details on exactly how long he was in jail, so just take it with a grain of salt! it's only going to remain as a rough estimate until we get a definitive answer on donovan's age.
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so! henry has a talk with donovan, but the conversation itself, while very important for the plot and especially for our understanding of donovan’s character, is irrelevant for this conversation. no, what's crucial here is what henry is holding. endo even highlights it by focusing an entire larger panel on it!
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it's a history textbook for year 7 students!
it being a history textbook is very poignant for the conversation they're having, but the reason this is important to me is because it's very clearly a year 7 textbook.
now, i don't know how much of eden academy's curriculum is based on the uk! but because pretty much all of the architecture of it is based on eton college and endo has literally just returned from a london trip where he showed us he visited a kindergarten, so i think that's grounds enough for me to assume eden academy's year 7 is generally populated by children between 11 and 12 years old. luckily for me, that seems to be the general age for germany's secondary school year 7 too, so even if it's not the british one, it's still close enough!
with all that being said, if donovan is, say, 12 in that moment and henry is 22, that means there is a 10 year difference between the two of them, which, drum roll please, means donovan desmond is 56 years old when our story's events take place! assuming the war of loid's and yor's childhoods took place exactly 20 years ago (when yor was 7 and henry was 46), this would make him around 36 years old when he became ostania's prime minister! it would also mean he had damian at 50 years old, and if demetrius is 12 right now, that would mean he was born when donovan was 44 years old (and his birth would’ve been in the last years of the war).
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so, rough events timeline based on all that, focusing on ages!
66 years ago: Henry Henderson is born.
63 years ago: Martha Marriott is born.
~56 years ago: Donovan Desmond is born.
49 years ago: Martha (14) transfers to Eden and meets Henry (17)
47 years ago: Henry (19) graduates Eden.
44 years ago: Henry (22) joins Eden as a teacher, in the same year becomes Donovan Desmond’s (~12) history teacher. Martha (19) graduates Eden and joins the Women’s Defense Auxiliary.
~44 years ago: Martha (~19) is presumed dead. Henry (~22) faces jail time. The war ends, and he marries.
27 years ago: Yor is born. At that time, Henry is 39, Martha is 36, and Donovan is 29.
~27 years ago. [REDACTED] is also born. Same as above, just approximate this time!
~20 years ago: Second war begins. Yor and [REDACTED] are ~7, Henry is ~46, Martha is ~43, Donovan is ~36. Yuri is born.
~12 years ago: Demetrius is born. Donovan is ~44, Yor and [REDACTED] are ~15, Henry is ~54, Martha is ~51, Yuri is ~8.
~10 years ago: Second war ends. Demetrius is ~2, Donovan is ~46, Yor and [REDACTED] are ~17, Henry is ~56, Martha is ~53, Yuri is ~10.
6 years ago: Damian is born (and most other kids in his and Anya’s grade). Demetrius is ~6, Donovan is ~50, Henry is 60, Martha is 57, Yor is 21, Twilight is ~21, Yuri is 14.
5-4 years ago: Anya is born. Damian (etc.) are 1-2, Demetrius is 7-8, Donovan is ~51-52, Henry is 61-62, Martha is 58-59, Yor is 22-23, Twilight is ~22-23, Yuri is 15-16.
1 year ago: Yuri (19) becomes part of the SSS. Anya is 3-4, Damian (etc.) is 5, Demetrius is 10-11, Donovan is ~55, Henry is 65, Martha is 62, Yor is 26, Twilight is ~26.
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I HOPE THAT HELPS PUT THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE?? melinda is not included bc we have nothing to go off of for her age outside of purely subjective things like her appearance.
super glad endo included the year 7 thing JAKLSDFKLSD
anyway thank you for reading!!! :DD
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blueeyedgirll · 5 months ago
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shark week surprise - spencer reid x f!reader
spencer reid x f!reader on her period
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this fic includes: fluff, descriptions of bad periods and period paraphernalia, spencer being a sweetie pie and doting on you, established relationship, non-bau reader, pet names, early seasons spencer, use of midol, no use of y/n, unrealistic depiction of spencer's job, reader being shorter than spencer
word count: 1,053
a/n: you'll never guess what time of the month it is for me ;) im testing out using gifs on my fics so tell me what you think my lovely returning readers!
"It hurts," you say into your phone.
"I know it does, honey. I'm sorry. I'm sure a heating pad and some medicine can help with your cramps," Spencer responds sympathetically, recalling all of the period remedies he had learned.
"I took some Midol about an hour ago and I have the heating pad on right now. It's not helping much."
"Hmm..." Spencer pauses for a moment. "I've read that light exercise and hot tea or water can help. Are you feeling well enough to talk to the kitchen and make some tea? I think there's still some of the chamomile and honey tea I bought you in the pantry, and the walking might help."
"I should be alright. Will you stay on the phone with me?" you plead.
"Of course I will. Luckily, I'm in my hotel room for the night, so I have as much time as you need."
"Thank you, Spence."
"You're welcome, love."
You hobble to your kitchen, phone in hand, and start to make yourself a cup of chamomile tea.
The few minutes it took for the kettle to boil felt excruciatingly long, but having Spencer on the phone to distract you helped.
"I was reading an article about Spanish idioms, and I saw one I thought you would like," Spencer prompts.
"Yeah? What's that?" You say, leaning against your kitchen counter.
"Well, it literally means 'Thinking about the immortality of the crab,' but it's a way to say that instead of just sitting idly, you were engaged in active thought or daydreaming. Kind of like saying you're just letting your mind wander," Spencer says, his voice growing more excited as he elaborates.
"I think about the immortality of the crab a lot, then," You joke.
"I know. That's why I thought you would like it."
You scoff and bring your now finished cup of tea back into your bedroom, where you had been hibernating amidst every fuzzy blanket you could find.
You pull the heating pad back over your lap and get as cozy as you can with your hellish cramps. As nice as your bedspread may be, however, you know that you would be a lot more comfortable with Spencer cuddled up next to you.
"When are you gonna be back home, Spencer?" You ask.
"Well, we haven't gotten very many good leads, so we're a little stuck right now. It might be a few more days. I'm sorry, honey," He responds apologetically.
"Oh... That's okay. I get it."
You did get it. It wasn't uncommon for Spencer to be gone for days, sometimes a few weeks at a time. But the searing pain and high estrogen levels just made you want him near you even more.
"I'm sorry. You know I would so much rather be taking care of you right now," Spencer follows.
"Ain't no rest for the wicked."
"Exactly." Spencer pauses for a moment, lets out a sigh, and shuffles around in his room. "You should get some rest. You may feel better tomorrow as your hormones decrease."
"I know. I love you, Spence."
"I love you too, darling. I'll see you soon. Hang in there."
"I will. Bye."
You hang up the phone and sigh dramatically. It was only Friday night, and without work to prepare for or Spencer to spend time with, you were forced to entertain yourself for the weekend.
You start by putting on an older show to rewatch, but don't make it through much before you fall into an uncomfortable sleep.
You wake up the next morning to your phone ringing. Rubbing your dry eyes, you pick up your phone and see Spencer's contact flash across your screen. You pick up, clearing your throat before you speak.
"Morning, love."
"It's eleven AM, darling. But good morning to you, too," Spencer responds. In the background of the call, you hear what sounds like a turn signal.
"Whatever. Where are you?"
"I'm in the car," He says uninformatively.
"Okay, then where are you heading?"
"To my destination."
What a turd. You groan in exasperation.
"If it makes you feel better, I have something for you,' Spencer tells you.
"Like what?"
"It should be arriving just about now, actually."
"What do you mean?" You question.
Before you could ask him anything else, you hear a knock at your door.
"Hang on, Spence. Someone's at the door," You say, placing your eye to the peephole.
To your great surprise, you see a tiny image of Spencer smiling outside your door with his phone up to his ear. You fling the door open and affirm that he is, in fact, at your door.
"Spencer!" You exclaim. He greets you as he throws his arms around you, lightly squishing you against his chest.
"I thought you weren't gonna be home for a few more days. What changed?" You ask, pulling away from his embrace to look up into his sweet brown eyes.
"The unsub basically turned himself in, so we all got to go home early. I would have came here earlier, but I had to make a stop," He says, gesturing to his right hand.
You look down to see a shopping bag. He smiles and walks into your living room, urging you to follow.
He slowly unpacks the bag, announcing every item as it appears.
"An array of candy -- fruit flavored as well as chocolate --, electrolyte drinks to keep you hydrated, a new bottle of Midol to help with the pain, and..." Out of a separate bag you hadn't noticed before, he pulls out a bouquet of fresh flowers. "Flowers because I thought you would like them."
He hands you the flowers and you smile up at him before enclosing him in another hug.
"Thank you, Spencer. You're so sweet."
"I'm just trying to make you feel better," He says, placing a kiss on your forehead.
"You're doing great."
He smiles into your hair before pulling away.
"What do you want to do? We can watch movies in bed, I can draw you a bath, we can go for a walk..." He trails off, looking to your for an answer.
"Let's go watch movies. We can find that new one we wanted to watch."
"Sounds good to me, love," He says, following you into the bedroom, snacks in hand.
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letsgetrowdy43 · 1 year ago
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Settling down—
Quinn Hughes x reader
Request: Can we get a Quinn getting mad at his brothers for fucking around and making his gf uncomfortable. They didn’t think he was that serious about his gf. He told them “She’s important to me”
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Quinn had met her at some Canucks charity event in the early fall.
The breath was knocked right out of his lungs as he bumped into her while trying to get some fresh air, drinking up the way her silhouette looked in her floor-length gown. He was a goner. Now she sat curled up in his lap as they lounged on his boat, a soft smile on her face as he dragged his fingertips up and down the length of her spine.
Jack, Trevor, Luke, and the others were very skeptical of their relationship, she was nice, but she seemed so far from their world of hockey that to them there was no chance that she was a keeper. Plus the fact that she was an absolute smoke show, and he was just Quinn, showcased just how too good she was to be true. Quinn thought otherwise though, to anyone who wasn't blinded by idiocy, like his brothers and co., you could plainly see how he watched her with such love in his eyes.
A dopey grin grew on his face as she whispered in his ear, her fingers running through his messy hair as she placed a kiss on the high point of his cheek. Her smile grew as Quinn's lopsided smile took over his expression, "You are the prettiest, y'know that?" she mumbled into his ear as his face broke out in a flustered mess. "You're one to talk," he mused, her head leaned up against his chest, goosebumps on her skin as a gust of wind kit her bikini-covered body. "I gonna go join your mom on the beach, and get my sweater," she said getting up off of Quinn's lap, sending her boyfriend a wink as she walked to the front of the boat hopped off and onto the beach they were parked on.
Her ears perked up as she walked past Quinn's brothers and close friends, hearing her name in the jumble of their conversation. "She is just some wet dream he's living out for the summer, he's been lonely in Vancouver, it seems temporary," she knew that voice well, Jack, her brows furrowed as she dug through her bag for her sweater and shorts. "He's in a phase where he thinks he's ready to settle down, he's only twenty-three, and she's got him brainwashed!" "It doesn’t even matter, she's hot, he deserves some of the extra attention she’s been giving him," Her jaw dropped as she finally dug up her clothes, a frown on her face as she made her way over to the older woman who laid out on a lawn chair on the beach.
"Hey sweetheart," the woman said as waved the girl to sit down next to her, offering her some of the remaining white wine in her bottle, which Y/n gladly accepted, "You okay?" "Yeah, just a little drained from the sun," she grinned sadly as she took a sip of the wine out of the solo cup she was given. "Heat stroke is the worst, I won't mother you though, I'm sure Quinn will baby you the moment he gets home, just make sure to stay hydrated." "Do you think?" "He's gonna go full mother on you, you mean a lot to him, I know my son, and I can tell," she grinned at the young girl who nodded with flushed cheeks, looking over to her boyfriend who was laughing along with his friends.
Later that night after they'd arrived back at the lake house, eaten, and showered together, the couple laid in bed, her pressed up against his chest as they watched a movie on her laptop.
She turned around to look at him, her fingers brushing over the stubble on his chin as she watched his concentrated face as he watched the movie. "You're staring," he grinned as his eyes found hers. "I'm just feeling really lucky right now," she fluttered her eyes closed and hugged herself deeper into his chest. Quinn licked his lips as he tightened the arm that lay across her torso and pulled her in even closer, "I'm the lucky one," he whispered.
The conversation she overheard hours before was still lingering in the back of her mind. If his brothers and friends thought that there was no place for a future between the two of them, then what was he saying to them?
She pulled away a little to look at him again, "You see a future with us, right? cause I think it would break my heart if I was all in and you weren't," she mumbled as she watched Quinn's face break out into a look of confusion. His hand tucked her hair behind her ear so she could see him better, "Of course, I wouldn't have brought you to meet my family and let you basically live with me," he confessed as she nodded. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I was doubting this, you're just too perfect to be real" she shook her head as she took his hand and kissed his knuckles.
Quinn was still confused as to where this was coming from, and then he remembered a conversation between Trevor and him when she first arrived, one where Trevor made a comment about how he was stupid for wanting to settle down already. "Did one of the guys say something to you?" Her lips formed a straight line, deciding whether or not she wanted to out the boys for the chat she had eavesdropped.
The long pause was telling enough for Quinn, "Don't listen to them, they are all in their egotistical frat era," he laughed unbelieving of the stupidity of his brothers and friends, "they don't get it yet, but this, us, I'm certain is something that I want for the rest of my life," he confessed as he sat up beside her.
"Don't tell them I heard anything," she said sitting up next to him, "I don't want to drag this out, it's stupid." His face softened as he listened to her, knowing that this was in fact nothing, but she was willing to put it behind her to get along with his family. "I won't, but if you hear anything else like that you tell me," he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for a kiss, a giddy smile on her face as he pulled her into his lap, smothering her in kisses before they both laid back down.
the moment she fell asleep Quinn snuck out of bed and into the rec room where his brothers and company were drinking and playing pool.
"You guys are fucking idiots," he said with his arms crossed as all the guy's attention was averted to him, a frown on his face as Luke paused the music, "I'm so serious I have a really good thing going on with Y/n and I really like her, and you're all fucking it up" "Calm down Huggy," Trevor said as he grinned at the annoyance on the older guy's face. "No, I can't, 'cause she thinks I'm just fucking around with her feelings 'cause you idiots feel the need to openly talk about my relationship while my girlfriend is around." "We didn't know she was listening," Jack tried to reason but was shot down with a glare from his older brother. "This relationship is important to me, she is important to me, so respect that!"
With that, he left the rec room, quiet tension filling the room as Quinn made his way back up the stairs to his shared room with Y/n. Her brows furrowed as he slid back under the comforter, "where were you?" she mumbled quietly. "Just needed some water," he whispered back, the girl lifted her head and placed a sleepy kiss on his cheek before wrapping her arm around him and hugging him closer to her.
"Love you," she mumbled, half awake as her head buried itself in his arm. The words took him aback for a second, surprised that she said it, for the first time, while half conscience. "Love you too," he mumbled before closing his eyes.
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fandomfaeofveryfewf4cks · 6 months ago
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I'm seeing a lot of people saying they're excited to see Charles realize he's in love with Edwin, but...y'all... I think he knows? The whole season he seems like he knows exactly how he feels about Edwin, but was denying himself the romantic aspect of those feelings. And there are SO many reasons for why he'd be doing so.
First off, he has said he doesn't want to end up like his dad. I'd wager he doesn't want to have a serious romantic relationship with anyone because he's worried he'll end up treating them like his dad treated him and his mum. I do think he had feelings for Crystal, but maybe he didn't believe it could become something lasting. She is living after all. He very well may have figured she'd grow up and move on to someone else, but at least he'd have had a girlfriend for a little while, almost like he would've if he hadn't died.
Similarly, as well as wanting a girlfriend/ partner, he may have always thought he HAD to have a girlfriend like lots of people think they HAVE to find a significant other of the opposite sex to settle down with like they're expected to. For someone who clearly wants to be alive, it's understandable for him to be reaching for what he was taught to be the "normal" experience for normal teenage boys.
It doesn't help that his dad very well could've been homophobic, so Charles never felt like it was safe for him or the boys he might've crushed on. Not to mention, it was the 80s, so he was probably being taught boys liking boys was wrong and/or would get you killed, even if his dad wasn't the one saying it.
I feel it's also worth mentioning that he's known Edwin for 30 years. That's nearly twice as long as he had been alive. Edwin had shown Charles a kindness he'd seen little to none of before and then kept being kind to him. He was unapologetic and sometimes harsh about voicing his opinions, but also listened to Charles'. He knew what it was like to hide things about yourself like Charles did. Charles may have even clocked Edwin was gay from very early on.
I headcanon he probably more or less went from ignoring it cause it's Edwin, to feeling weird about it but not showing it, to getting curious and learning more about it, to looking up "how to be a good ally" to accepting Edwin and reassuring himself that if Edwin does come out to him, he will make sure he knows that Charles will always accept him for who he is, and that this wouldn't change how much they mean to each other nor the respect they have for each other. (Really, he seemed so ready for that confession. It wouldn't surprise me if some planning went into what he was gonna say. Just didn't expect it to happen in Hell.)
Anyway, my point is that Charles seems to have put Edwin on something of a pedestal. He sees him as kind and good, and Charles will protect him with everything he has so that he may remain so. Charles can't help but love Edwin, but he will make sure that love is from a selfless place. Partially so he won't be taking anything Edwin shouldn't have to give, but also because he may not think Edwin would want to give or take anything to or from Charles if he saw the things Charles hates so much about himself which possibly includes: all the things his dad said was wrong with him, everything he grew up being told was wrong with people like him, all the things he sees of his dad in himself, and possibly more.
AND! Edwin is an upper-class(?) white boy from 1916. Charles is a queer punk from India. He may have thought Edwin would have had some prejudices against him even subconsciously for a while when they first met, which would have also been an acceptance-of-feelings deterrent.
Ultimately, if it turns out Charles also needed over 30 years of looking at his friend like that to figure out he like likes Edwin, I'll still love it. But I'd also be surprised. Boy was blushing and giggling for Edwin since they first met even while dying of fucking hypothermia. I swear.
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royalarchivist · 8 months ago
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Ironmouse: [Reading chat] "Will you be on the QSMP final event this Friday?" They asked me to be in it and I said that I'm gonna try my best to be there. That is true, oh my god, thanks for reminding me! I almost forgot. I'm very honored and happy to have been invited.
Ironmouse: I met a lot of really cool people that, to this day, we still chat. Cellbit has been such a- such a sweetheart. Everybody's been so nice to me. Everybody was always so nice and inviting and welcoming to me. [...] A lot of the QSMP members will be in the Rust server, so we will be seeing them in Rust Kingdoms, which I'm excited for! Rust Kingdom starts on Saturday, so… it's gonna be pretty fun. We're gonna have a great time.
Ironmouse talks about the upcoming QSMP event, and reiterates how grateful she is to have been invited to the project! She says she's very happy to have met everyone and specifically mentions missing Cellbit, Jaiden, Etoiles, and Bagi.
[ Full Transcript ↓ ]
Ironmouse: [Reading chat] "Will you be on the QSMP final event this Friday?" They- they asked me to be in it and I said that I'm gonna try my best to be- to be there. That is true, oh my god, thanks for reminding me! I almost forgot. There is a final QSMP event on Friday called "QSMP Expedition." As you all know... the QSMP is over. This is the final event. I'm very honored and happy to have- to have been invited.
It's the final event, that's all they said to me! That it's the final event. Yeah, I met a lot of really cool people that, to this day, we still chat. Cellbit has been such a- such a sweetheart. Everybody's been so nice to me. Everybody was always so nice and inviting and welcoming to me. JAIDENNNN! [Reading chat] "Hope you can collaborate with some of them again" Yeah, of course! We're all pretty busy people but, you know, we- we get together when we can, I think. Well, Jaiden's been especially busy.
[After reading chat] Yes, that's true! A lot of the QSMP members will be in the Rust- in the Rust server, so we will be seeing them in Rust Kingdoms, which I'm excited for! Rust Kingdom starts on Saturday, so... it's gonna be pretty fun. We're gonna have a great time.
[Reading chat] "Please collab with Bagi" Yeah, I would love to collab with Bagi! She's- oh my god, I miss Bagi, I gotta send her a message. Etoiles has been– oh my god Etoiles, I sent him a message the other day and I'm like "When are we gonna play games, Etoiles? When Etoiles, when are we playing games again, Etoiles?" I gotta send him another message 'cuz I got sick, since I got sick I haven't- haven't like messaged him and I know he's been struggling with his own stuff too, so... We gotta play games!
[Clears throat] What time? Wait, what time- what time is the QSMP event? It didn't give me a time. Oh, at 12- 12 PST?!?! Oh man. I don't know if I'm gonna be AWAKE! I'll try my best! Oof. Yeah, I wonder– wait, let me- let me ask them...
[Typing a message to the QSMP Admins] I just realized the time, it might be a bit early for me, is it ok if I show up and I'm not streaming, 'cuz I might have rolled out of bed to be there?
I'm going to try my best- I'm gonna try my best to make it guys, Jesus Christ. [The event] is supposed to be like, something scary. I'm wondering what it's going to be!
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hgfictionwriter · 6 months ago
Text
Maybe This Time - Part Four
Jessie Fleming x Reader
Summary: Confessions finally come to light and Jessie has the chance to ask you what she should've asked you years ago.
Warnings: Mild language. Outside of that - none. Just fluff, fluff, fluff.
A/N: I'm ignoring the most recent Thorns results in this story, btw lol. They're gonna rebound - I know it! Previous parts for this series can be found on my masterlist.
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"Nice playing tonight. Congrats on the win." 
Jessie smiled to herself as she sat on the twin-sized bed of her hotel room and laid back, resting her head on the pillow.  
A few team members were still downstairs in the hotel restaurant, but she was beat and needed some downtime. She knew Janine would stay down with the group for a while, so this was her chance to get some solitude.  
"Thank you! I'm super happy with how the team was playing together today. And away games can be tough, but I'm stoked. Anyway, enough football talk lol how was your dinner?" 
"Well, you play Utah next – I'm no expert analyst, but as far as I can tell, your chances for 3 points are good lol. And dinner was delicious – thank you for asking. [Y/friend] and [Y/other friend] went out for drinks after but I called it a night. I'm exhausted after this week." 
"Lol I don't want to jinx anything, but yeah, you may be right about those 3 points. Sorry to hear you're so tired. You had a super stressful week though – I know work was crazy for you and then your brother showing up out of the blue. Yeah. That's a rough week. I'm sorry I'm not there to help more." 
"What are you talking about? You were so helpful. I bet you thought you were done hearing about my family drama, but here we are again lol. It's just a lot less common now – thank God. And anyway, what about you – what are you up to? Don't feel like you have to text me. I know you're with the team." 
"It's not a problem – seriously. Call me anytime. And it's all good – I've retreated to my room early. It's been a long day." 
"Okay, still, don't feel like you have to respond. I know you need your me-time; take it if you can get it." 
"It's alright. Really.-" 
Jessie stared at her phone for a few seconds as she contemplated continuing her thought. Screw it.  
"-I'm happy talking with you."  
She hit send and subconsciously held her breath for a second before remembering to breathe. She worked to dismiss any mounting anxieties, but had a hard time denying the way her pulse had quickened. It only got faster when she saw you starting to type. Her eyes remained fixed onto the screen until your reply came through.  
"Well that makes two of us." 
"As in I'm happy talking with you." 
Jessie chuckled, relief going through her body. She lifted a finger to her mouth and mindlessly chewed at her skin. Her brow creased as she contemplated her next move. Thoughts ping-ponged inside her mind before she threw caution to the wind – very intently so – and started texting. 
"Lol I understood." 
"Hey, are you busy next weekend? There's this pop-up exhibit in town for a few days. Maybe we could go and grab a late dinner together after?" 
"Are you talking about the CityScape exhibit? I wanted to go to that! Yes, that sounds amazing." 
Jessie beamed from ear to ear. 
"Okay, awesome. I'll get tickets." 
"Thanks, just tell me what I owe you." 
"Nothing at all 😊" 
"Stop it. Tell me what I owe you. Or I can just buy dinner, then. Whatever works." 
Jessie huffed. She was conjuring up a rebuttal when another message came in from you. 
"Okay, I have to confess something. It's been weighing on me for years and this just totally made me think of it again." 
Jessie frowned as she wracked her mind for any possibility of what you may be referring to.  
"Okay. What is it? Whatever it is, I'm sure it's okay." 
"Lol you say that now." 
"K. Remember when we went to that underground art show and then dinner and drinks in WeHo a few months after we first met? Or more specifically, remember when you asked me if I wanted to go to that?" 
Of course she did. You looked amazing that night. She was grateful that Teagan and Mia were there to distract her because if it had just been the two of you, she wasn't sure if she'd have been able to function.  
"Yeah, I remember. Why?" 
"So, full disclosure, I legitimately thought you were asking me on a date to that. When you showed up with Mia and Teags? DEAD. Let's just say it was a very humbling experience hahaha. So embarrassing! Enough time has passed that I can admit to it lol. It cracks me up now." 
Jessie didn't even realize her mouth was agape. Her mind was absolutely foggy and turned upside down as she reread your message again and again. She felt like she was having an out of body experience. Her mouth was dry and she started stammering even though there was no one to hear it.  
She needed to talk to Janine.
Before she even knew what she was doing, she found herself hauling open the hotel door and started padding down the hall until she realized she didn't have shoes on. She whipped around in a flurry to go back into the room and grab her shoes.  
"Shit!" She exclaimed as she more or less faceplanted into the door when it didn't open as she turned the handle. In her fluster she forgot she needed a key to open it. She stared down blankly at the lock for a few seconds before belatedly realizing she'd left the hotel key in the room. "Oh my god," she growled under breath. She spun on her heel and looked down the hall as she contemplated what to do.  
She looked back down at her phone and called up Janine. She let out another frustrated growl when the call went to voicemail. She texted her. "CALL ME. NOW." 
She paced back and forth in the hallway for a few seconds before looking back at the message you sent. Now anxiety around not replying to you was setting in. She didn't want you to think she was put off by what you said, but she also didn't know what the heck to say. This was too precarious a situation.  
She stood there motionless for a moment as she weighed her options and before she could start to overthink things she took off down the hall to the elevators.  
Once inside, she hit the 'M' button and the button to close the doors repeatedly in a vain attempt to move this journey along faster. She groaned when the elevator slowed at one of the floors along the way. She offered the joining guest a stiff smile and felt heat rush to her face when they glanced down at her sock feet.  
Once at the main floor, she took long, brisk steps towards the restaurant where she'd left the team and searched the remaining crowd for Janine. She spotted the blonde at a table towards the back and took a few steps into the restaurant – hoping not to get caught by the host. Thankfully, she caught Janine's eye. She waved the blonde over with uncharacteristically exaggerated movements and the blonde just frowned at her. Jessie's shoulders slumped in momentary defeat and frustration before she gave the girl another pointed look and gave a sharp wave. The blonde held up her hands in concession and got up. Jessie caught the curious looks the rest of her team gave her and offered a mere wave of 'hello' before grabbing Janine by the arm when she approached and dragging her out into the lobby.  
"I need your help." 
"What the heck!" Janine complained as she jerked her arm out of Jessie's grasp and shook it out for show. "What is going on? And why are you in your socks," she went on as she gave Jessie a disapproving look.  
Jessie bit back a sardonic, tense reply and instead just held up her phone to Janine's face. The blonde winced at the sudden movement and frowned as she read the message, before her jaw, too, fell like Jessie's had earlier.  
"Oh my gosh," Janine said in bewilderment. Jessie nodded repeatedly. "Oh. My. Gosh! Okay. So – what the heck – you left her on read?" 
"I didn't know what to say!" Jessie responded with a harsh whisper, gaze flitting about as she tried to not draw further attention to them.  
"Oh my gosh, Jessie. You're the worst," she said with an eye roll as she began to usher the smaller girl towards the elevators. Before Jessie could protest, Janine held up her hand in declaration, "Okay. We need a game plan..."
Jessie's mind was still racing as she stared vacantly at the elevator floor deep in thought as she pieced things together. Suddenly, she inhaled sharply, eyes growing wide as she lifted her head to look at Janine.
"She went on her first date with [an ex] like a month after that night! Wa-" She stopped herself momentarily, thoughts resetting before she started again, "Wait - do you think if we'd actually had a date that night that she wouldn't have dated her?"
Janine gave her a long stare that tapered into a look that was half sympathetic, half pointed. "Jess."
"Oh my God," Jessie groaned as she rubbed her face.
"Sorry - that was probably really awkward. That was a long time ago. And obviously it was all good in the end. Anyway, now I can die with an unburdened soul lol.”
“What do I say!” Jessie said, her voice rising while her heart beat out of her chest.
The elevator dinged as they reached their floor and the two looked at each other before exiting and heading to their room.
“Well, this could be your opportunity. Why not just tell her that you liked her? I know you aren’t comfortable telling her you like her now. But you can admit to it for the past,” Janine suggested.
Jessie’s eyes scanned around as she processed the different scenarios and outcomes that could arise. Her instinct was to say “no”, but she really couldn’t find a logical reason to deny it. She huffed.
“Okay. Well. What - I just say ‘Oh hey - speaking of funny stories, I had a crush on you for years. And I’m glad your exes hated me, cause guess what, I hated them because I was jealous’?” Jessie said moodily as she crossed her arms.
“Maybe not that,” Janine said with a sidelong glance.
The girls talked hurriedly, debating back and forth about what to say until Janine threw her hands up in relinquishment.
“I told you what I think. It’s your call. This is your relationship. Or - would-be relationship,” she relayed.
Jessie sighed heavily once more and sat down on the edge of her bed. She had to chill out. She reminded herself that this time things were supposed to be different. And that she was different, and not so scared.
“Sooo does that mean you would’ve said “yes” to a date? Wish I had known. I would’ve gladly taken you on a date.”
Jessie exhaled slowly as the message sent. She looked up to Janine and ignored how her ears were ringing.
She glanced back down and immediately saw bubbles come up.
“Lol! I’m sure.”
“I’m serious.”
“Jessie! Come on.”
“What? I’m dead serious. Question is if you would’ve actually said ‘yes’.”
“I wore my nicest dress and actually put in the time to do my hair and make-up properly. So I’ll leave that up to you to interpret.”
“Janine,” Jessie complained, her pitch rising as she rubbed her face in aggravation before bringing the hand down to slap against her leg. “I’m such an idiot.”
“Well I could’ve told you that,” Janine rebutted without hesitation before pausing and giving a small shrug. “For this situation anyway.”
Jessie exhaled in frustration again as she readjusted position on the bed, eyes still transfixed on your text. You know what? She might as well own it.
“Well, I’m an idiot. I truly thought I didn’t have a chance with you. For the record, you looked stunning that night. But also for the record, I liked you just as much in your everyday clothes and makeup or when you didn’t try at all.”
By now Janine was kneeling on the bed behind Jessie, hands on Jessie’s shoulders as she watched everything unfold. She was started to make a remark when she let out a loud gasp as Jessie’s screen lit up with a call from you.
“Oh my gosh!” Janine exclaimed.
“Shit!” Jessie said as panic began to rush through her. She was about to accept when she noted Janine’s head right next to her and she shook the blonde off of her. “Go!”
“Oh now you want me to leave,” Janine protested.
Jessie waved her off and took a steadying breath before answering and holding the phone up to her ear.
“Hello?”
“Jessie Fleming. You start off by giving me a heart attack - just leaving me hanging after I share my deeply embarrassing and humbling story. And now you come out of left field with - I think - a confession of your own? Are you fucking with me right now?”
Jessie choked and coughed at your wording. You didn’t sound mad at all. Bewildered? Yes.
“No. No I’m not,” she said much more tentatively than she’d intended.
The line was silent for a few seconds and Jessie was about to check if the call dropped when you spoke up again. This time you were the one who sounded tentative.
“Okay. Wait. Let’s recap. So-” Jessie could practically hear you thinking. “-you’re saying you would’ve wanted to go on a date together?”
Jessie pushed her hair back unnecessarily. “Um, yeah.” She shook her head out and spoke more confidently. “Yes. I would’ve.”
She heard you give a disbelieving chuckle. “But you didn’t,” you said slowly, but matter of fact. “I’m sorry. I’m just kind of shocked,” you laughed further. “You felt like you didn’t have a chance with me? Are you serious?”
Jessie exhaled, eyes set on the floor as she gave a shrug of her shoulders. “Dead serious.”
“Come on. The great, unattainable, Jessie Fleming, liked me? Impossible. I mean, yeah, we were close, but you never really showed any indication of it being more. I mean, at most it must’ve been short lived.”
Jessie tried to process your words that were coming at her a mile a minute. You gave her an out. She could say it was a fleeting thing. A curiosity. But, Janine was right, this really was the chance.
“Uh,” Jessie rubbed her face distractedly, feeling heat rushing to her cheeks, “if ‘short lived’ means all through uni, then sure.”
The call was silent again and Jessie could hear her pulse throbbing inside of her head until you finally spoke again.
“Now you’re really fucking with me."
Jessie's body continued to heat up and she tugged subconsciously at the collar of her shirt.
"I've said too much already. I mean, it was obviously short lived on your end - which is totally fine."
"Why do you say that?" You questioned.
Jessie frowned, making a face and ignoring how Janine was attempting to look occupied with her own thing, but clearly eavesdropping.
"What do you mean?" Jessie asked, careful not to sound argumentative. "You dated a lot of girls in university. Well, not a lot. You know what I mean."
She heard you give a short laugh on the other end of the call before speaking wryly.
"Well, maybe - no, never mind." You exhaled lightly. "Anyway - it's all in the past, but, consider me stunned." You gave a bit of a chuckle. "I hope you're more forward with girls now than you were then. I really didn't know you had any interest."
"I was shy," Jessie offered as she scratched her temple. "Like painfully shy. And you were so pretty, and smart, and charming - I just didn't know what to do."
A glare crossed Jessie's face as Janine hopped down in front of her and mouthed 'Tell her you like her!" as she gestured wildly in the air.
"Well, now I'm extra confused about why we didn't stay in contact after university. If you liked me that much," you stated without challenge.
Jessie sighed. She'd told you enough. She didn't need to get into how desperately in love she was that she needed to cut herself off from you altogether to even have a hope of moving on.
"I mean, we don't need to rehash it all. Anyway, recap, I liked you, you were open to a date, but I stupidly didn't ask you out." Jessie chuckled, trying to keep things light. She cleared her throat and the heat that had started to fade from her face came raging back and she began to fidget. "And, um," - she glanced to Janine for reassurance - "I don't know. If you're open to it, maybe we could finally have that date. When I pick you up next time, it could be a date - for real."
She heard you hum before speaking.
"That sounds really nice. Yes. I'd like that a lot."
Jessie's eyes lit up and her posture straightened immediately as she looked to Janine excitedly. The blonde gave a boisterous, but silent celebration.
"Okay," Jessie said, her voice growing tight momentarily as she tried to remain composed. She cleared her throat and relaxed her shoulders. "Sounds like a plan, then."
A/N: Part Five is available here.
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genericpuff · 6 months ago
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I'm not sure if anyone else has made this connection, but I've never seen it mentioned before. I think, similar to Lolita, RS was also inspired by the art of Trevor Brown. His work has a lot of young girls and medical fetish themes (to put it lightly) in a style reminiscent of RS's earlier stuff.
sigh
CW: medical fetish art often depicting children / child-like characters and medical equipment such as needles, gas masks, etc. seriously don't hit the jump if medical equipment or young girls in nurse's outfits or with open wounds makes you squeamish, I will not blame you for turning around now LOL
OP I was about to just... dismiss this. Wave it away as a funny coincidence that is indeed funny, but doesn't have any real evidence to back it up. I had a post typed up in response already declaring this, after which posting I was gonna move on with my day, work on Rekindled, play some XIV.
Because sure, there are a lot of resemblances between Trevor Brown's work and Rachel's old art, but nothing that can't be dismissed in good faith as a simple coincidence of being within the same genre of fetish art (first three are Trevor's, last three are Rachel's).
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But then that little voice in the back of my head whispered in my ear, "Puff. You should double check. Just to be sure. Do your due diligence." And I once again found myself on the precipice of the rabbithole that somehow becomes deeper every time I jump. This time though, I knew it couldn't be that bad, I mean, I had enough confidence in knowing that there's no fucking way she listed Trevor Brown as one of her favorite artists-
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God fucking dammit. How in the world did I miss this? I mean, I suppose I missed it simply because I'm not familiar with the works of Trevor Brown, but you can bet your ass I became familiar with it in my digging. Yeah, this guy is a supreme creep.
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Again, I am not going to accuse Rachel of being a pedophile because that's just not an accusation that should be thrown around without undeniable evidence. What I will say, which has largely remained the same - though even more confidently now than ever before - is that she's clearly someone who took a lot of inspiration and influence from very problematic artists when she was young (I'm talking in her late teens which has me wondering if she started making medical fetish art when she was still a minor-) and then, BEST guess, she started to drop the medical fetish stuff around the time she went to college (which was also the same time she dropped The Doctor Pepper Show, which later got reworked into The Doctor Foxglove Show which was a lot less reminiscent of her medical fetish style from the early 2000's, but still had some of her usual preferences at play) and that's led up to today where she's drawing comics that look like they're for kids but tackle heavy adult subject matter in the worst way possible that straight up perpetuates grooming.
No matter how much experience I have with this already, no matter how much I think I've already seen, I always find more, and this time was no different. In fact - though unrelated to the original topic - thanks to this one fucking ask, I even found the full Mads Mikkelson comic with the completed caption. You know, that one.
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And apparently Mads Mikkelson did very much replace her crush on Jeremy Irons.
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Who's Jeremy Irons?
Oh yeah.
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I just... y'all I can't. This is un-fucking-real. I'm gonna go take a shower, I need to scrub myself off of this 😭
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devilfic · 6 months ago
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❝right place, right time❞
IX. I'm the well they're gonna drag you down.
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parts: previously / next plot: and they were rooommates. pairing: battinson!bruce wayne x gn!reader. cw: surgeon!reader, secret identities, slow burn, mentions of blood and stitches and drugs and alcohol, this chapter is fluffier because reader deserves a break, reader and bruce discussing their one-night stands, bruce thinks he's funny but he just can't hide how much he likes you okay, jealousy thy name is "disturbed". words: 6.9k. a/n: shoutout to allnurses.com contributing to at least 8 hours of research on how medications are stored in hospitals for one scene. any nurses in chat please do not stone me, I took creative liberties. also, in case there is any confusion, this chapter and the vignette take place all in (mostly) the same day.
The car gets about halfway down the street before Bruce observes out loud, "Something's bothering you."
You're clean and changed, but your hands are shoved between your thighs as you try to control their shake. Knowing what you know now, you have no reason to keep this from him. He is, by all means, the one person you should tell.
But you struggle to work up the courage without a mask looking back at you. The character of Batman you'd created in your head clashes violently with the character of Bruce. You'd written your own Jekyll and Hyde and tripped yourself up in the final act when it turned out they were one and the same, "You have a lot on your plate right now."
"So do you."
You resist the urge to grit your teeth, "It's about Judith."
Bruce thinks for a moment, "The old lady who doesn't like me."
"The very same. I... wasn't there for her last night, when I should have been. She was mugged on her way home."
Bruce doesn't make a big show of a reaction, though you notice he sits straighter, taking a break from gazing out of the window to glance at you every once in a while, "Is she badly hurt?"
"It could've been worse but... she's more shaken up than she wants me to believe."
"And her family?"
"Murdered." Bruce's car rolls by a street corner where a young mother wrangles her child back from the crosswalk, "I tried to convince her to have one of the deacons from church ride home with her from now on but she wouldn't listen. She doesn't want to be babied." Her stubbornness isn't at all unfamiliar.
"Did she see who did it?"
"She said some guys at the liquor store down the way. They hang out there every night," your eyes trail from the window down to the floor before finding Bruce's face. His profile is sharp and clean, the dark neck of his sweater stops just before the hair at his nape begins to cluster. Your eyes follow the bridge of his nose and it mirrors Batman's profile, a mix of pointed and blunt edges, "There's a... an heirloom in her purse. A lighter. She keeps it with her all the time. Her husband had it on him when he... well, he had an awful habit. She'd really like it back."
Bruce turns his head to you and you steel yourself. In the bright early morning, he is annoyingly resplendent. In the unfair way that all pretty people tended to be. It feels wrong to be asking him this. This is a stranger. You're begging for help from a stranger. You force down the sickness rising in your belly, "Please, will you-"
"I'll take care of it." He answers and it is final. He seemed to have made up his mind before you'd even asked.
The resolve in him is enough to slow your shake to nothing. There's a part of you that still doesn't quite believe what you'd seen last night, and so the certainty of Judith's well-being does not deluge you. It trickles down, dripping over your eyelashes, sprinkling off your fingertips.
You let yourself get caught up in his eyes the way you used to. You let the familiarity of them ground you and, though not with a sweeping acceptance, sigh in relief.
It's a small win in the grand scheme of steaming hot bullshit going on in your life.
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You’ve taken things from General for Bruce’s sake before. Bandages and needles and disinfectants. This, however… this was a schedule II drug that could land you in prison if you got caught with it. And you were going to walk out of here with it like you were none the wiser.
A hand on your elbow forces you to slow down, drawing you back to your companion’s side. You don’t need to hear it so he doesn’t say it, but you’re embarrassed anyway. How Bruce maintains himself is enviable. “You’re a good actor.” Bruce peeks at you as you guide him through the first floor, “The thing with Gordon. You took it on the chin like a champ. You turned into a whole new person.”
“I avoid implicating myself when I can.”
“The party too. You diffused the tension, like, perfectly.”
Bruce hovers beside you as you call the elevator, a few patients and nurses lingering further behind. You can feel him probing your words for your natural line of thinking, “Couldn’t pull one over on you, though.”
No, you think, you just creeped me out while every bat-shaped clue flew right under my nose.
The elevator door slides open and the two of you squeeze into the back as the rest file in. You find yourself in a corner, braced against Bruce’s side as his hand reaches around your back to hold the railing. One of the nurses catches sight of him and swoons, the other trying (and failing) to look uninterested.
“Coming to see the new wing?” The swooning nurse asks, turning around to grin at Bruce. “Sounds like it’s coming along great. They make lots of helpful noise all day long.”
Bruce laughs good-naturedly, “Hopefully it’ll make up for all the trouble once it’s finished.”
The “uninterested” nurse nods, eyes frantically flashing from Bruce’s eyes to the floor and back over and over, “For sure! It’s really great you give back to General like this. Your dad would be proud.”
His face has no distinct reaction to it, nothing immediately telling that that comment hit too close to home. He smiles as he always does and thanks them as he always should do, and as they get off on the second floor, it’s just you two and an old man waiting for the next stop.
Bruce, to you, had long lived in his father’s shadow. The great Thomas Wayne who, despite his briefly smeared reputation, had been the face of the Wayne family for you. Even the some-twenty years after his passing had yet to shake that image from your brain.
It was his father’s legacy he was tending to here. All of the good and ugly that came with it. You couldn’t imagine how many times he’d heard his father would be proud. Did it comfort him? Frustrate him? Did he do this to make his father proud, or because it was expected of him?
Before the flood, you’d heard gossip about Wayne Enterprises going under, the reclusive in the tower giving no sign if he was alive or dead. Knowing what you know now, you wonder how much he truly wants to be a Wayne… with all the baggage that comes with it.
He’s wound tight. You can feel him against you.
Before you can talk yourself out of it, you find his hand on the railing beside you and cover It with your own. He’s shocked, judging by the way he jolts under your touch for a second. You think you’ve overstepped but when you go to apologize, he is already staring wide-eyed at you. Like when you’d caught him on the stairs.
The tension is still there, and his face has fallen in its warmth and friendliness. His hand had only partially slipped out from underneath yours, but as the seconds pass you feel it rest once more, not bothering to shake you away any further.
You both force yourselves to stare ahead until the elevator dings to let you out, but through the reflection on the door, Bruce is still looking at you.
You break first, distracting you both this time as you walk out, “You kept hitting me with your knee.”
Bruce, in a daze, asks, “What?”
“At the party. While me and Roberts were arguing, you’d nudge me with your knee like it was an accident.”
Bruce seems to remember who he is and where you are, because he quickly gets back to himself, “Guess I’m not that good of an actor.”
“Why’d you do it?”
“I knew where the conversation was going. I could feel you thinking.”
You remembered holding your breath as the mayor prepared herself for confrontation back then, “And the second time?”
“I was trying not to laugh.”
You flush. You’d been so impassioned that night, defending your hero who, unbeknownst to you at the time, was hiding a snicker behind his glass. You feared you’d be remembering a lot of moments like that over the next few days.
As soon as you both get into your office, you shut the door behind you, “I need you to wait here for me.” Bruce’s face tightens, “Don’t… argue. They keep extra vials of the antivenom down in the ER. I can grab one from the med room, but I can’t have you following me down there. It’s off limits for anyone without ID, let alone a patient and a donor.”
Bruce doesn’t look comfortable. Since last night, you hadn’t been anywhere Bruce or your police detail couldn’t follow. You hadn’t even been allowed to enter your apartment until the latter had deemed the place safe. A med room not much bigger than your office—locked behind an ID scanner—posed less of a threat than your two-bedroom ten minutes away.
But it was two stories down, and anything could happen in the time you were away from Bruce.
You can see the wheels turning in his head, trying to think up some plan that allowed him to remain by your side. You have to restrain yourself from feeling… flattered.
Flattery turns to bewilderment as Bruce reaches into his pocket and drops something into your hand. It’s a gadget the size of an AirPods case, shining in the light of the fluorescents. It looked perfectly unassuming and hid—lightweight as it was—a marvel of expensive technology. You could tell just by looking at it. “The hell is this?”
“It’s an EMP generator. Put it in your pocket and I can disable any communications within your vicinity, including cameras.”
“Okay, no. This is a hospital, and I’d be going into the ER with this thing. That’s too dangerous.”
Bruce looks offended. You can practically hear him say “You don’t think I’ve thought of that?” with his eyes. He silently holds his phone up to your face and you shouldn’t be as shocked as you are that it’s got live camera feed of the entire hospital. “I can control the radius. You said you trust me. So trust me.”
You swallow back your retort. You did say you were going to trust him on this. Whether or not it would be your doom had yet to be seen. You nod once, dropping the device in your pocket. “I’ll meet you back here in ten minutes. Fifteen at the most.”
Bruce’s lips purse together. He still doesn’t look settled with letting you go alone, but he has very little room to argue, “Ten minutes.”
You don’t waste time. You skip the elevator for the emergency stairwell, taking two steps at a time until you’re back on the first floor and walking to the ER. The med room at the very end of the hall would—if you were lucky—be as empty as the waiting room. All you needed to do was get in, grab what you needed and very quickly get the hell out of there. Without raising suspicion. You can feel the phantom pull of Bruce’s hand on your arm, begging you to slow down before you draw unwanted attention.
You round the corner to the med room, scan your ID, and head in.
The two nurses waiting inside greet you, analyzing you curiously, “Hey doc, need something?”
Words rattle in your brain like a d20 on a deception roll. You pray for something good, “I just wanted to grab some meds for my patient.”
One nurse sits at a computer, head titled in confusion, “Did you put in a prescription? You could’ve sent a nurse to grab it for you.”
Your eye catches the camera on the ceiling, its dark glass glinting at you, mocking you. A scrying glass recording your every move. And Bruce on the other side of it, hopefully buying you an alibi. “It’s a… special case. My patient needs it soon, so I thought I’d speed up the process and grab it myself.” You force a lightness into your tone, trying your best to appear apologetic and not at all suspicious.
The nurse hums. Then, she jabs the pen she’d holding over her shoulder, “Cart’s over there. Help yourself.”
You maneuver through the shelves separating either half of the room, keeping your head straight and eyes from wandering.
Your biggest hurdle was at the back of the room.
It’s a clunky cabinet on wheels with a monitor on top and an ID scanner on the side. In one of its many drawers, your golden ticket awaited, but these things kept logs of who checked out what, and if someone were to go through them later and find out you’d stolen a highly addictive drug without prescription…
You swallow. The generator in your pocket suddenly hangs heavy against your thigh. You glance at your phone for the time and note that four minutes have passed. You need to move quickly.
You approach the cart, fingers twitching at your sides, and right as you step up to the monitor, it flickers and goes dark. You give the power button a push for good measure but nothing happens.
Well, not nothing. You hear the cart drawers all click at once, like they’d unlocked by themselves. Tentatively, you try the top drawer and it slides out without issue. Glancing behind you, you check to make sure no nurses have wandered over, but you are the only one on this side of the room.
Your fingers drift down to the right drawer next and that one slips open too—by the grace of some god—and there you see it. It has an alien glow to it, a more subdued blue to its adversary’s green. The top of the tray holding the vials pops open with just as much ease as the drawer, allowing you to sneak one into your pocket. You shut the drawers, slowly backing away from the cart, but the monitor does not turn back on.
“What? This thing too?” You’re startled when the nurse from before suddenly jogs up from behind you, grumbling under her breath as she smacks the monitor.
You rush to cover, “It just went kaput on me.”
“Yeah, so did mine.” She maneuvers around the shelves and back to her desk where you see the other nurse at the desk scratching his head. Their monitor is glitching, having some gory digital stroke, “Here. You can sign out what you take for now and I’ll bother IT about this.”
You write down “Ibuprofen” and your name next to it, “Never seen that happen before.”
“Yeah. Thing froze up on me a minute ago. Guessing around the same time this thing died on you.”
Your stomach is still nervously fluttering, but you do feel a little smug. “Weird.” You hand her back the clipboard and go to grab a bottle out of a different drawer. “Good luck.”
You try not to sprint past the nurses as they fuss with the computer. You’re out and back upstairs before your ten minutes are up.
Bruce is sat leisurely on your couch, no doubt watching you scurry into the office on his phone. He looks from the pill bottle in your hand and back to you.
You toss the bottle into his lap, plopping down on the couch beside him. He frowns at the label. “For you,” you poke his injured leg and his eyes follow your every movement, “you’re favoring the other leg today.”
He can’t bring himself to deny that, even if the look he gives you from beneath his eyelashes says otherwise. You flash the antivenom at him as a peace offering. “How’d I look?”
His gaze flutters slowly from the vial to you before he shows you his phone. The screen is a recording of the medication room. It shows you greeting the nurses, walking up to the med cart, and then… nothing. Black screen for forty-five seconds. When it flickers back on, you're signing the clipboard and walking away. Your body sags into the couch with relief.
“You did good.” Bruce praises you.
“I thought I was going to go into cardiac arrest.”
“There are worse places to do it.” You look at him and he’s smiling just a little. You’re aware, though, that he’s aware of the toll this has taken on you. He takes the vial out of your hands and puts it in his own pocket, holding his hand out to you. “We should get going.”
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Bruce follows dutifully behind you as you lead him back down to the first floor. You feel much better than when you'd arrived, but your heart stutters each time a security guard passes you by. Years ago, stealing and getting away with it was second nature to you. You were also arrogant back then, uncaring of what happened to you. How quickly the tides had changed.
You feel Bruce nudge you with his arm. He isn't looking at you, but you know what he's trying to tell you: you've got a few more hallways to turn down before the exit. You just have to-
Someone calls your name.
You spin around, nerves electrified, only to find Em running to catch up with you, "What are you doing back at work already? Is your arm okay?"
The adrenaline rush had done wonders for your pain tolerance. You didn't even think about it until she brought it up, "I'm fine, it's fine. It's-" You go to rush out some sort of explanation but at that moment, Bruce turns around.
You can see the moment of impact across Em's face as soon as she realizes who you're with, her back straightening and hand pressing down flyaways. In an instant, she has forgotten all about you. For better or for worse. She rubs her palm on her leg before holding it out to shake his hand, "Mr. Wayne! Hi! I'm surprised to see you here." Her eyes are twinkling, "Everything alright?"
"Just some leg pain, nothing painkiller can't fix." He flashes the pill bottle for good measure. You're honestly impressed he admitted to being in pain at all, "It's good to see you again, Dr. Madison."
Em's face droops into a frown, "Well, you look fantastic, but you've got a mirror," she pats your arm, "and I'm sure you're being well taken care of."
"Only by the best."
You smile (borderline pleadingly), preparing to dismiss yourselves while you still have your wits about you, but then Em asks Bruce a question and, to your surprise, Bruce is happy to entertain her.
It strikes you that you had landed in your situation with no prior interest in who Bruce was, and it shows in how you barely keep up with the topic of conversation.
It's like watching a tennis match between the two. The topic in Em's court, then Bruce's, then Em's, back and forth without issue. No awkward pauses or uncomfortable looks. She recalls details about him out of thin air, your knowledge in comparison merely fringes of what Em knew.
The longer it goes on, the more it weighs on you that aside from the strange man who'd circled around you like a frightened kitten, you really didn't know anything about Bruce.
You knew Batman. You felt you knew him. Even when his identity was still a secret, you had felt comfortable with him. Vulnerable, even. He'd let you touch him in your home, fixing him up and helping you with this mess and... outside of that, what did you really know?
You feel an odd twist in your chest.
Em's voice floats back in, disrupting your retrospection, "I've always wanted to go to Italy. You must get so sick of these places after having been so many times."
"They still have their magic," Bruce grins, "but I don't like being far from home."
"Really? You could go anywhere in the world and you'd still miss Gotham?" Em's tone is teasing, but curious. Something flickers in her eyes as if she'd just remembered something.
Bruce takes in the hallway, chest swelling with pride, "Lots of things to miss about it."
"Name one."
Bruce's eyes cut to the side as he thinks, "The noise."
"You can get noise anywhere. LA, Chicago-"
"It's special here."
"No, try again."
His smile turns sheepish, "The rain."
"Now you're lying. Come on, pretty boy. I know you've got something. Penthouse, nightlife- heck, I'd even understand the freaks and clowns giving everyone PTSD."
Bruce exhales, purses his lips. His eyes flit around the white walls, "Okay. I'd miss you."
What the hell?
You straighten up. The absurdity (blatant sweet-talk) of the line shouldn't work—seriously, it wouldn't work on you—but Em goes pink in the cheeks. A strand of dark hair falls from her bun and frames her smile just so, "Well," she snorts, "aren't you just a flirt?"
To your utter dismay, they are both eating this up. "You light up the room, Dr. Madison. Your patients are very lucky."
"My patients are usually seven and way more interested in the candy I bring them."
"Candy?" Bruce finally looks at you, all humor and charm, "I never get candy. I just get yelled at."
Something in you is disturbed when Em grabs onto Bruce's arm, hanging off him as she pouts at you, "Oh! You're heartless!"
"Very much so." Bruce is somber.
"I don't-" Your voice comes out strained, a little too defensive right off the bat, "I don't yell." But you'd gotten close, and you got closer everyday, "But if I did, you'd deserve it."
Bruce is amused. You watch as he pretends to cower into Em, even as he dwarfs her in size. They start joking back and forth, more teases at your expense, and you notice that the persona he puts on around others is practically nonexistent here. You'd watched it dissolve within minutes. It's refreshing, you realize, that he seems to really be enjoying himself right now.
You catch Bruce insisting that he ought to get going, sharing pleasantries and desires to visit once more. Em looks genuinely saddened to let him go. The second Bruce's back turns, Em reaches out and squeezes your hand, whispering, "Please tell me he's single."
You fluster. You imagine yourself in the car ride back to the tower asking Bruce what he thinks about Em, offering to exchange numbers between them, and you're disturbed again.
Twenty-four hours ago, you would've been warning her to run for the hills. Twenty-four hours ago, he was only Bruce Wayne. Now he was Batman and all that came with it and, well... once upon a time, you would've wanted nothing more than for Bruce Wayne to sweep Em off her feet. Batman had always been more your style.
Then, you realize, you don't actually know the answer to her question.
Em looks expectant. You shrug. She exaggerates her disappointment but releases you all the same, "Keep me posted."
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"I'm comparing the samples from the crime scene to the antivenom. I should have something in a few hours." Bruce taps the antivenom vial, watching the remaining blue liquid slosh against the glass, before handing it off to Alfred.
You're mesmerized by this backyard (or, more aptly put, garage) chemistry lab. Beakers and flasks spread out on the long table as you watch from a stool a few feet away, "How'd you get so good at this?"
"College," after a few seconds of silence from you, he adds on begrudgingly, "I started messing around with stuff down here when I was 13."
"You had all this when you were 13?"
"Some of it, whatever I could get my hands on. I liked to see how things worked."
You have a unique opportunity to learn about Bruce here, so you take it with both hands, "You majored in chem, then."
"And biology, and physics."
Your eyes blow wide. "You had three majors?"
"I bounced from one to another, sometimes double majored if I liked the professors. I followed my interests and they took me everywhere," Bruce picks up the venom test tube, little drops of green pooling at the bottom of the glass, "I've enrolled in more universities than I have degrees."
Your eye twitches, just a little annoyed, "Must've been nice going wherever you wanted, whenever you wanted."
Bruce senses your tone of voice. He peers at you from the side, elbows resting on the table, "I spent a lot of time away from home. It must've been enough because I don't miss it."
"You said the same thing to Em earlier." You recall.
"I didn't think about it as much while I was gone, but when I came home for good... I just couldn't imagine myself leaving like that again."
"He barely liked boarding school," Alfred chimes in from the other side of the room, lazily reading a book at Bruce's desk. Boarding school was posh. You imagined little Bruce in a school uniform like the British boys in movies, "I should bring out the scrapbooks once we have a moment."
Bruce sets the test tube back on its rack with a bit of aggression, "Thank you, Alfred. You can go now."
Alfred chortles. He skims one more page of his book and then shoves it under his arm on the way back up. The elevator clinks and rattles up the tower until it stops some sixty stories up.
It's quiet now. You sort of appreciate the silence- the relative silence. There is the steady drip, drip, drip coming from here and there in the cave. The whirring of the machines, the humming of the lights, the very faint sound of a news anchor forecasting snowy skies this weekend. Bruce's breathing.
It's harder to hear unless you focus on it. His mountainous build hunched over the table—staring into the venom as it stares back—rises and falls in slow rhythm. You watch him being and it captivates you. For the umpteenth time since last night, you are struck with the reminder that this was Batman. In all his broody glory, an arm's length away from you, about a hundred feet under the city.
It's funny; you paid so little attention to the man before, and now you wanted to take him apart and examine his terrible insides. You have accidentally become obsessed with the man.
"I want to take you to Blackgate."
"Sorry?"
"Lucien is there," the name makes your blood run cold, "he was with the Vipers the longest. He could answer a few things for us."
You do your best not to immediately say no. Not because you think he'll force you, but because you know—somehow—that he won't, "What about Detective Gordon? Shouldn't that be his job?"
"I think he'll talk to you." Bruce turns slowly until his back is pressed against the desk, arms crossed over his chest and pulling his shirt completely taut. "He knows you."
You hadn't seen Lucien since the night Alex died. For once, you're kind of grateful Bruce can read you. He turns fully toward you, "I can go alone."
"You just said you think he'll talk to me."
"I can make him talk." His head droops a little to meet your eyes, expression impossibly understanding. You have no doubt he can. Your throat feels like it's on the verge of closing up. Somehow, sending Bruce alone to handle him felt worse.
"But you think I can..." You have to pause to force in a breath, feeling yourself go lightheaded, "You think I can get more out of him." Bruce doesn't respond to that. He's still watching you like you might start stress-sobbing. "Okay."
"You sure?"
"Mm."
Bruce calls your name. You'd been tracing the lines of his arms with your eyes to distract yourself, not processing how much closer he'd gotten until you feel his breath against your eyelashes.
His arms are uncrossed now, one hand pressing into the table beside you, the other hovering by his hip. His fingers twitch. Does he want to touch you? You were about to go three for three with the crying in his arms thing.
You force yourself off the stool and the speed at which you stand gives Bruce very little time to react. Your chest bumps against him, but you're already slipping behind him, "Lemme see your stitches," you rasp, hand ghosting over his shoulder, "need to... redress them, probably."
Bruce tries looking over his shoulder at you but you hide behind him and after a moment, he relents. His shoulders drop in defeat. You watch him drag your stool into the light and sit.
The dismal mood did you a favor. He looked like he'd be submissive today.
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You're halfway through clearing away his dried blood when you ask, "Are you single?"
Bruce's shoulder jolts just the tiniest bit, almost driving your finger into the stitch. "What?"
"Em asked," you quickly explain, "and I realized I didn't know."
You don't know exactly what he's thinking, but his answer is as straightforward as you could hope for, "Yes."
"Oh."
"You sound surprised."
"I mean... I sort of assumed..." What did you assume, exactly? You couldn't see him with a long term partner, definitely not like this, but the idea that there wasn't anybody didn't sit right with you, "no flings? Situationships, even?"
"Why? Is Dr. Madison interested?"
Your jaw clenches. You force the muscles in your face to relax, "I just don't want any secret lovers of yours adding me to their shitlist if I go through with your plan. I can't stress how little I want to fake-fight over you right now."
Bruce huffs. You finish cleaning around his wound when he pipes up again, "I had something... someone. It didn't last."
"Oh. Are you... tender about it?"
"Not anymore. I don't have time for that kind of thing anyway."
He says it like it doesn't bother him, but in the way someone might brush off a scrape on the knee or a paper cut. Like it stung, but you had to be a big boy about it. The pain would go away eventually.
You press new gauze over the stitches, taping it down as gently as you could, "I assumed someone like you would have a whole lot of someones, a revolving door even," your eyes flit over his other bruises and healed cuts, "I never made time for relationships either. I was kind of just going through the motions."
"No one interested you?" Bruce rolls his shoulders once you peel away from him. He doesn't look at you when he asks that.
"Just... childish crushes here and there. Sometimes I'd let someone take me home..." Your voice catches in your throat for a moment. You recall a stamped down memory, one of you standing blindfolded in your apartment imagining the Batman with his mouth on your throat. That wasn't very long ago. Your breath shudders as you fit Bruce into the memory instead. You don't... know how to feel about it.
"Never back to yours? And here I thought Judith was just hard on me." You belatedly register Bruce standing, rolling his shirt up his arms before pulling the neck over his hair. His question hangs lightheartedly.
Your shoulders sag, "You're not gonna believe me if I tell you I was paranoid about letting one-night stands into my home."
"Why? 'Cause you let me in?"
The back of your neck grows hot. "What about you? You ever bring yours back to the cave?"
After he's done tucking his shirt into his pants, Bruce shakes his head at you, "No. Just you."
That was the second time he'd said that to you. You were starting to feel special.
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You step out of the shower and you think, almost as soon as your foot touches heated floors, that you really despise Bruce Wayne.
The towels are warm too, waiting for you as you preen yourself in the mirror, a clean you staring back. You kept your toiletries bag on the bathroom counter, afraid to unpack anything as you rustled around for deodorant. It was massive and quiet. The water pressure alone had you swearing at the marble lining of the shower.
Bruce eventually lured you downstairs with the promise of making dinner. Alfred was skeptical, but had backed off and allowed Bruce full range of the kitchen, still possessed by his book next to the fire.
He'd asked you what you had the stomach for. Eventually he was copying something out of a celebrity recipe book with you beside him.
You argued that he hadn't really made you dinner given that you had helped him do half of everything, but it was his ingredients and it was his kitchen and the food tasted good so you didn't argue long.
After Alfred offered his stamp of approval, he'd retired for the night and left you and Bruce in the kitchen to clean up. Bruce had left the pots and pans to you when you proved too nervous to handle the porcelain, "Alfred won't kill you if it breaks."
"Alfred would kill me for less, I think."
Bruce gives a short laugh, drying off the last pot. He's pouring you a glass of the wine you'd opened last night when you slide his little gadget across the counter, "I forgot to give that back to you." You swirl your glass, admiring the color as Bruce packs away the leftovers. "You looked like you were enjoying yourself with Em earlier."
"I was. Your friend is funny."
"I... also noticed something you said. When she asked you what you would miss about Gotham, you mentioned the noise and the rain. Would you really miss all that?"
Bruce glances at you, popping a top onto a glass bowl, "Of course. It's part of what makes the city."
Your eyes narrow, searching for the lie, but there isn't one. He's being sincere. "Is that why you became Batman? Because you love this city that much?"
You can feel the mood getting doused with ice water. It forces you upright in your chair, makes your hand clench around the stem of your glass. Anyone with eyes could tell you'd just touched a nerve.
But he answers you, intense as it comes out, "I hated it." The loathing is a mere shell of what it used to be, you can tell, "I hated what it took from me." His eyes cast down to the countertop. "At first, I was aimless. Everyone was worried about the future of the company but Alfred and I were just trying to make it through the day. Over the years, I boiled up with this... restlessness. I still didn’t know where I was going but I was full of something for once. I studied, I traveled, I learned from all manner of teacher. And when I came home, I was... determined."
His words sit heavily on you. You can see flecks of that restlessness in his eyes, the slight tremble of his hands as he rests them against the countertop. "Why a bat?" You whisper.
"They're what I feared the most."
Past tense. "Feared?"
"I got over it. I won't let them close enough to bite, but..." The humor in his voice breaks the intensity of his expression.
You mull that over, "You became what you feared to strike fear."
"Not anymore," his head shakes, "fear is a tool, but... there's enough fear in this city. I wasn't making a change, I was making it worse."
You remembered the first time you'd ever heard of the Batman. Back then, he was just "Vengeance". In the grand scheme of fucked up things this city had to offer, someone running around dressed as a bat didn't register as abnormal. Another Tuesday, maybe. You awaited what they'd say about his crimes: a mugger beaten and strung up on the street, a gang felled and dropped at the GCPD's door. You remembered something stirring in you when he put away the Joker.
"I remember when you became a hero. Like really, to everyone. When you took shape… they were flying in people. I was rushing in patients while you stood on top of the Garden and pulled people out of the flood. I hadn’t felt hope like that since… yeah."
Your admission moves something in Bruce. His eyes find yours, "I was just doing what you'd been doing for years."
"But I never left that hospital. You transcend boroughs, the gangs, everything. I used to think you couldn’t possibly be one guy. I still can’t believe it. How are you not dead on your feet by now?" Bruce smiles knowingly at you and you feel yourself flush, "Besides that. You’ve been doing this for longer than I've been around to patch you up."
"That would be Alfred."
"You should tell him, you know. That you appreciate him. I think he'd like to hear how much he means to you more often." Bruce's eyes soften. He doesn't debate you. "Anyway. How's that sedative going?"
"I'll take another look before I leave tonight."
Oh, yeah. This guy is Batman.
You don't know when next you'll get this chance, "Can I ask a favor? Can I... watch you put it on?" Bruce wobbles to the side, genuinely confused. "The suit?"
He examines you, mouth almost curling up into a shocked smile. He hadn't expected you to ask that, that's for sure. "All of it?"
You grip your glass so hard you think it might shatter, "No." And then, when he has the audacity to snicker, "Asshole."
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He stays true to your request.
You watch with your back pressed up against the wall. His under suit hangs undone at his hips while he leans over his desk, digging his fingers into a can of black paint. He uses the reflection of his computer screen to smear it over his eyelids and under his eyelashes until the white skin beneath disappears.
Next is zipping up the under suit. You barely resist rushing over to hold his bandage steady as the suit catches on it, but he manages to get it up and over without pulling it off. Then come the plates of armor. Each piece clips into place, clinging to his waist and chest and arms. You've seen it up close enough times to know the quality of it, a wonder how he'd gotten his hands on that kind of stuff until now.
You don't ask him to, but when it's time to put his cowl on, he turns sideways so you can see.
His gloved hand combs through his hair, pushing back the longer strands so he could fit the cowl over it.
It's kind of embarrassing how it takes your breath away. Bruce had quite literally transformed before your eyes, and now there was no denying it.
Bruce stands still as your eyes bore into him.
After a few seconds of admiring every piece of the suit, your eyes flit up to his face. He's not looking at you, almost shy. Apart from Alfred and, perhaps, his someone, Bruce has probably never put on the suit in front of anyone else. Is it weird you missed seeing him shy? "It fits perfectly." Your voice is barely above a whisper.
Of course it does. You know it's dumb to say. Bruce doesn't say that, though.
He waits a beat before turning away from you, his cape sending a breeze of cool air up against your legs. His car awaits on the train tracks, headlights beaming into the near endless darkness as he approaches and you follow.
The car thrums eagerly with life at the push of a button, sending vibrations through the ground, all the way up to the ceiling where you hear a sudden flurry of wings and chirping. Bowing your head close to Bruce, you watch about a hundred bats scurry about above you, disturbed by the sudden rumble of the engine. Bruce holds his cape over your shoulder, though none of the bats fly low enough to concern him. "They don't freak you out a little bit?"
"They haven't bothered me."
"Well, when you dress like them I guess they get confused."
"I'll be back before sunrise," Bruce promises, "and I'll look into Judith for you. Maybe you should... call first."
You're tickled by the discomfort he's so desperately trying to hide, "Scared of a little old lady?"
He pointedly ignores you. You step back as he throws open the door and settles into his car, but before he can pull off into the darkness, you shout his name to get his attention over the roaring engine, "Hey! Be safe."
Bruce looks at you and... you don't know what he's thinking, only that the muscles in his jaw relax a bit. Was he used to that? Did Alfred often stand on the cold, empty train tracks before every patrol and wish him luck on another night of beating criminals to a pulp? Was he used to the worrying? Annoyed by it, even?
He doesn't say anything. The car leaves in a spray of dust and you hide your face in your shirt to shield yourself from it. By the time the dust settles, you can only see two red lights blurring into the distance.
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dead-boys-club · 5 months ago
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†  my idol : hawks.
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❥ scenario: hawks and his idol s/o. ❥ no triggers; not rated. ❥ i don't have any beta readers - you get what you get. ❥ requested!
❥ be thankful i don't write nsfw c: + idk if someone's gonna get all offended over this, so i'll say now, there's a lot of fan slander in this lol talking about crazy fans, stalker fans, etc.
✧*̥˚ hc type things *̥˚✧
can i just start with this would actually be one of the cutest pairings for him?
let me start off with saying that he is absolutely going to be your number one fan. he's going to be so proud of your achievements as an idol. his schedule as a hero would make it difficult but he'd do his best to attend events and concerts, anything he could squeeze through. he'd be offering quite a good amount of public praise, making sure you knew he supported you along every step of the way. at no point would he be embarrassed or ashamed - he's doing everything he can not to be in the air with his lightstick, let's be real.
there is one thing he may have trouble navigating and helping you to navigate: balance. keigo is used to an overly busy life but the moment he sees your schedule, he's realizing it's never actually been that bad. he's immediately going to be asking if you're even taking care of yourself - if you know anything about kpop idol lifestyles, you'll know the concern is very much warranted - but he's going to be worried. however, he would respect it and your choice to pursue such a lifestyle, doing his best to help with making sure you're okay, helping with the pressures of fame and whatnot. his biggest concern, outside of your health, is going to be the privacy of your relationship. with both of you being so well known, the last thing he wants is your personal life to be put on a chopping block and make things even more difficult.
keigo often makes the comments of 'if i can' or 'possibly' when you ask if he'll be at an event but he does his best to show up and surprise you. even if he can't stay, he's there long enough to bring flowers or a small gift, reminding you that even if he's not there, he's still cheering you on. amidst busy schedules, he would do his best - even if it just meant sending a feather your way.
if anything, keigo is considerably patient. he can't exactly get mad at your busy schedule when his own isn't all that empty. you would both have to work with accommodations. and he'd totally have some silly, flirty comment about sneaking around. you'd have a moderate amount of quality time together, even if it meant him dragging you out of a window in the early hours. willingly, ofc.
he would be very, very protective when it comes to your privacy and personal space. fame attracts unwanted attention and he knows that; he doesn't want you to face something because of it. and, if i'm honest, i don't think many people would be too stupid to mess with you - the last thing they'd want to face is him being pissed off. he would definitely use his influence to aid in the overwhelming media and fans that don't know boundaries.
✧*̥˚ little things *̥˚✧
❥ spiderman kisses: not exactly the same but it's something he does when he's in a hurry and you're not supposed to be out. the first time he did it, he almost hit his head on the balcony railing. he honestly didn't expect kissing someone upside down to be so challenging.
❥ voicemails: god, you both have so many voicemails saved from each other. you've sent plenty to him of song snippets and sitting in the corner of the recording studio. he generally sends little rambles while flying, telling about his day and random things he's thought of. plus, always asking how you are, checking in on you.
❥ feathers: it's a cliche in writing for hawks but, i can't deny it's fitting. he's going to have a feather on you when you're within range for it to matter. it's how he makes sure you're doing okay.
❥ little notes: hawks likes to leave little notes for you when you part. hidden within your bag, between your clothes, etc. he generally knows your schedule but his own can be unpredictable. so, when you'll be away for a little while, he likes to leave you things you can read and have with you.
❥ keepsake boxes: about a year into being together, while out on a little break, you came across a section of little wooden boxes at a shop. it was a date night that you both sat and decorated them together, keeping all the notes, trinkets, stubs, etc in.
✧*̥˚ small scenario *̥˚✧
keigo landed at the venues back entrance the moment the door opened, his wings fluttering a bit when his feet touched the ground. the moment you popped out and smiled brightly, he couldn't help but pull you into his arms, squeezing softly before you could even speak.
'hey, pretty bird,' you greeted, voice full of excitement.
'hey, superstar.' keigo cooed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. 'ready for a much needed break from the spotlight?'
all it took was a nod for him to scoop you up into his and lift up into the night sky. you were used to it, just holding onto him and closing your eyes, letting your mind rest from the rush of performing, just wanting to be normal for a while.
the flight didn't last too long and soon enough, you were carefully being set down on a secluded rooftop. out of habit, you left his side to approach the edge, looking over the city with bright eyes, sparkling even more in the moonlight.
taking a deep breath, you stretched your arms up. 'this is so amazing, it's so pretty up here,' you sighed, turning on your heel to look towards him. 'you know.. does it make me sound bad to say i like that i can gloat about private stargazing sessions with the number two hero?'
keigo let out a soft laugh as he spread out the plush blanket, shrugging. 'would it make me sound bad to say the same thing about you?' he asked, gesturing you over. 'thought it'd be a nice change from the usual post show routines. less people.'
as both of you settled on the blanket, lying side by side, you enjoyed the distant, dulled hum of the city. it was a nice change from being crammed into a van or just going home to rest, both of you needed something nice every now and then.
the blond spoke first, head turning to look at you. 'how was the show? anything memorable happen?'
you shrugged, not taking your gaze away from the stars. 'just the usual. overzealous fans wanting attention, the offhanded comment during the meet.. i'm pretty sure one of them is convinced we're going to get married? which, i can't complain.. i used to sit and think that about heroes and idols and stuff when i'm was younger but still.'
laughing, his eyes lit up with amusement. 'sounds like you're handling fame pretty well. i've dealt with my fair share of -- is it wrong to call fans 'crazies'? mine just usually come with the whole 'save me from the villain' request when there's.. no real villain.'
'nah, i don't consider the ones who act like that real fans.. i think real fans respect boundaries, don't you think?' you responded, a hand raising up to reach for the sky, fingers wiggling. 'i'm sure dealing with supervillains is a lot more fun than dealing with autograph requests. i wouldn't trade you though, i enjoy what i do.'
'fair, yeah.' keigo sighed, reaching up to collect your hand. 'we both have our ways of brightening people's days. even if it means dealing with a couple of weirdos.'
silence fell over the rooftop for a moment, enjoying each other's company under the beauty of the night sky.
'i was thinking,' he began, gingerly playing with your fingers, 'we should do this more often. escape the chaos, find quiet moments like this.'
finally, you turned your head to look at him, leaning close enough to bump your noses together. 'that would be nice.. sounds like a dream to relax and spend time together without a million eyes on us.'
'so, what do you say? more rooftop dates?'
you smiled, squeezing his hand. 'as long as you keep flying us up to spots like this, i'm one hundred percent in.'
with that, you closed your eyes and he looked back towards the sky, just enjoying the time before you were putting on the news as missing and he was unavailable. the conversation drifted around from playful jokes and confessions, little flirty comments and sweet thoughts. it didn't last forever but anything was better than nothing.
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