#I think I'm Funny

[armageddon-is-light-after-dark]

Hi I'm the opposite person, here for all your opposite needs.

So will I agree with libraries they generally chill and non offensive. Sometimes I wish they were a bit more obvious with their programming

Cafes and breweries are overwhelming not necessarily because of what's there but because of all the expectations and the performances that you are required for the people around you. And also getting what I want to these places is generally quite difficult. Most breweries don't stock cider and most cafes and don't serve non coffee based drinks

The grocery stores that I visit are very low contact just people shuffling through their lists. No, the problem I find in grocery stores is sometimes looking for a specific product. Where this store decide to stock that. But yeah sometimes you get spritzed.

i go to bars and coffee shops and breweries and libraries and thrift stores all the time by myself and i have a chill banger time i love my own company. so why is the grocery store a warzone. im fighting for my life. barely make it out alive. if someone even looks at me i want to blow them up with my mind

[thedenofravenpuff]

Eclipse today be like...

Sponsored by "I think I'm funny"(tm)

Enjoy!

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[nicstylus]

*insert one of the various Worldbreakers here*

[mariana-oconnor]

[glitter-stained]

> loss of interest or pleasure (fun fact: the french call it loss of vital impulse, which seems relevant here)

> loss of energy

> hypersomnia

> involuntary weight loss

> diminished ability to think or concentrate or indecisiveness

> psychomotor retardation

> impairment in social, occupational or other areas of functioning

Yeah, checks out...

Ah fuck forgot that one: "not attributable to the direct physiological effects of a substance or another medical condition" crap, that's a misdiagnosis, sorry bud!

I JUST MIXED UP POSTPARTUM AND POSTMORTEM AND SAID A PERSON HAD POST DEATH DEPRESSION 😭

[ihaveatypeanditstrickstergods]

One of my favorite D&D gags that I ever came up with is part of a oneshot I've run a few times where the party is hired by a young wizard to help clear out a few active security measures in a tower that the wizard inherited from her old teacher.

The first obstacle to be cleared is the re-animated skeletons that the old wizard was using for gardening help. It's a pretty straightforward fight, but during the encounter, players may notice one particular raised bed of herbs that is set back in a corner of the garden by itself.

Upon further investigation, this one raised bed is absolutely shining with magical protections. There are runes carved into the wood of the bed, gemstones inlaid in the top of it, this bed is absolutely protected out the ass... and an arcana check shows that the protections are all pointed inward, attempting to keep what's in there from getting out.

What's growing in that raised bed, you may ask? What is so dangerous that the old wizard felt the need to place all these protections?

Mint.

[3bagshotrow]

going to make one of those "WATCHING LORD OF THE RINGS FOR THE **FIRST TIME**" videos on youtube but say things like "wow boromir looks especially rugged in these mountain scenes, almost like the actor actually hiked to the filming location instead of taking a helicopter" and "wouldn't it be funny if all those soldiers from rohan were women in fake beards" and "his scream sounded really genuine there, I wonder if he broke any of his toes"

[austinramsaygames]

[frigginconfused]

FUCK I forgot about my bard O'neste whose instrument is a lyre, cursed so that no one believes a word he says unless he performs it!

I have a small but growing list of potential future dnd characters I've dubbed "DnD Characters a DM Might Love or Might Shoot me for"

[leavemebetosleep]

Damn I Love Fluttershy

[authormars]

MC: How do angels reproduce?

Simeon: Well, it's a very complicated process and the Father-

Lucifer: Mitosis

MC:

Simeon:

Lucifer, pointing to Satan: Mitosis

[lt-oreilly]

idea that's been floating around in my head for weeks (TRANSGENDOR)

[mxxnpills]

please laugh

[thedenofravenpuff]

The way Ruin's rays just keep changing colours in different lighting and shadows, will never stop amusing me

[carrottheluvmachine]

Geralt: Why don't you ever look any older? Jaskier: I don't like to age. Geralt: What? Jaskier: I don't like to age, so I don't do it. Geralt, now highly suspecting that Jaskier may be much more than a normal human: ...

[aaayyygender]

Running with the burrito I just got (stole) from Chipotle while a HATER cop tries to catch me: