#I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough already
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whenthegoldrays · 6 months ago
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yeah ok. I’m fine now
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bo0zey · 2 years ago
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when gerard way said “when i grow up i want to be nothing at all” i felt those words in my gdamn soul bro
#cried alone in my car parked in my driveway for like 17 minutes#i feel so hopeless and useless and stupid so so so stupid i’ll never be smart enough like the other nurses#i can’t fucking think im too slow i don’t know anything#it’s the emergency room and god for fucking bid i have an emergent patient i don’t know wtf to do ever#i don’t know how to initiate protocols or contact interdisciplinary or put in complex orders i don’t know anything i’m so useless#everyone thinks i’m stupid i’ve been on orientation for like 2 months know and i’m still the same useless stupid novice airhead new grad#i just get so frazzled i feel like everyone expects so much out of me and i have to be perfect to meet their standards#but im stupid im subpar im not good enough like them like#ever if they’ve been nurses for years and i’ve only been working as one for legit 2 months it’s just i still don’t know how to do anything#it’s like i can’t think i don’t do things how they want me to do them and then i look stupid im the attending doctor thinks i’m so dumb but#she wouldn’t even hear me out like i know you want both fluids running i know it’s important but he only has.1 IV and they aren’t compatible#we’re trying to start a second IV and he had difficult veins like why are you trying to tell me i’m stupid i know why you ordered it thatway#it’s like nobody gets my dumbass brain but that’s not their fault bc they can think clearly and convey their thoughts to people without#sounding like a fucking dumbass i have no critical thinking skills im just useless i hate this so much i don’t want to be here it sucks#i never wanted to be a nurse i never wanted to be anything i was 12 years old hoping i’d be dead by 18#and now i’m 23 and i’m still fucking here but it’s clear i shouldn’t be i don’t fit in im not fit for society#i should be euthanized like an unwanted dog that’s been at the shelter for too long that’s exactly what i am#20min later still crying can’t stop being a fucking crybaby pitypartying myself i’m the worst oh my god grow the fuck up already#why is everything so difficult for me why can’t i just fit in literally everyone knows i don’t belong#i’m the dumbest most useless new grad orientee and EVERYONE knows it even management it’s so embarrassing#i’m so embarrassed to be alive and take up space that could be filled by someone so much better smarter prepared someone meant to be there#i don’t want this i don’t want any of this i never wanted to grow up im just a kid in my head i’m so pathetic#i wish i was smart and good at something i wish people looked at me and thought o wow i respect her bc she’s also a good nurse#nobody likes me i’m such a burden to everyone the doctors my preceptors other nurses who deserve to be there#i’m leaking snot everywhere today wasn’t even that bad but i think it’s all just hitting me now how helpless i am#i’m so tired of myself and waking up and making a fool of myself every shift fucking stupid loser i hate myself i try so hard and it’s not#it’s not enough it’s never enough im not enough im an imposter i’ll never be as good as the other nurses even tho i’m really really trying#i seriously don’t want to do this anymore i don’t want to be here i can’t do it everyone knows i’m not cut out for this they all talk shit#ramblings
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pissfizz · 7 months ago
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I’m going to lose my mind oh my god I am so scared for this quincenera wtf
#NOT MINE BTW I MISSED MY CHANCE LMAO#but Jesus Christ family I’ve never met before flying in from Panama…. god I’m so scared#I’ve already been dealing with some wack ass imposter syndrome ass shit cuz of how I was raised this is gonna make it SO MUCH worse#I DIDNT EVEN KNOW PANAMANIANS GOT QUINCES#i was raised with almost zero influence from any culture whatsoever I wasn’t even raised close to that side of the family#and like I’m mixed with white but I can’t even use that as an excuse cuz the cousin who’s quince it is is also mixed#and that side of the family is super tied to the culture and they speak Spanish and shit#i don’t even speak Spanish even if the family from Panama doesn’t think ima. total embarrassment what if most of them don’t speak english#when I’m surrounded by white people 24/7 I feel like a total outlier but the second I’m around anyone else latine I feel like that but WORSE#i don’t speak Spanish I don’t know anything about the culture I’m from the fucking pacific northwest and do digital art and watch anime#i am so far completely removed from everything I’m gonna be sick#my grandma is already so judgy about stuff my uncle was even WORSE and made fun of the stuff that was too white or too American about me#my cousins throwing the party are the least of my worries cuz at least their mixed and second/third Gen too#but oh my god the family I’ve never met before I’m so scared I’m so scared#i was already thinking like. can I even call myself latine bc of how I was raised and how far removed I am from everything. I’m mixed so -#-should I just associate myself more with the white side of my family. am I being fraudulent by identifying with that term just bc I have -#-the blood is that even enough maybe that kid had a point when he said I shouldn’t count as hispanic if I don’t know spanish#and thinking about showing up to my cousins quince as. me. it’s terrifying it’s awful I want to go I want to meet these people I want to -#-celebrate my cousin and be happy for her but GOD what if everyone hates us and just tolerates us cuz we’re related to them#i would say we’re the black sheep of the family but I feel like white is more fitting cuz I feel like we’re just slightly brown white people#god god god I’m so stresssd out by this#is this a weird thing to be worried about is this stupid is this selfish#and to make matters worse I DONT KNOW WHAT TO GET HER FOR A GIRT#vent
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kmuradesu · 5 months ago
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.‘ENTITLED’.
husband!gojo x pregnantwife!reader (afab)
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» summary: leaving the busy streets of Sendai city back to its outskirts, the two of you got a bus. there aren’t any seats available, and being pregnant meant being able to sit in the priority seats. looks like they’re taken.
» CW: pregnancy, exhaustion, mentions of jizz, bus ride, stubborn civilian, teeny-weeny angst if you squint, protective satoru, threats, all happy, no swears, not proofread!
» a/n: this has been sat incomplete in my drafts for a month, only until now I’ve motivated myself to finish it (lmao). I don’t know what it is, but I love pregnancy fics with jjk.
———————————————————————
After a slow-paced stroll through the bustling streets of Sendai City and a bunch of offers from Gojo telling you he’ll buy whatever you want, the lingering sense of exhaustion finally caught up with you.
You had managed to make it an hour and a half.
The beads of salty sweat were becoming more prominent over your glossed skin, your breath being lost easily but being hard to get back. The overly frequent back aches weren’t helping either, it was like this baby was already overweight inside of you.
You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed as your soft, now clammy, hand weaved with Gojo’s, the wedding bands glinting a perfect chrome against the sun’s humid rays. You didn’t want to become a burden, neither a random woman in the city known for sweating abnormal amounts of sweat. “I think the baby’s had enough, huh sweets?”
Your loose gaze lifted upwards to meet his, immediately feeling the cool radiating from his cerulean eyes. Strangely, through the navy lenses in his shades.
“..yeah, me too.” You breathed.
“Okayyy, let’s get the bus back - save you walking around with that watermelon inside you.” Purposefully, Satoru presented you and your bump a judgy look.
“..thanks.”
Rolling your peepers with sarcasm, you gently swung your hand with his back and forth.
“Hey, that’s what it looks like to me!”
“Well it’s your sperm, blame your own genes on the fact it’s fat!”
“WHAT?! FAT?! I’M NOT FAT. I’M A TALL SKINNY KING! AND SO WILL BE MY BABIES!” The man was very much offended, that open-mouth and crossed brow face he pulled was all you needed to know.
“..oh REALLY? WELLI KNOW FOR A FACT ITS NOT MY GENES CAUSING IT!”
And all the way to the bus station you continued on with your quarrel on who’s genes caused your bump to be so big already.
Both you were just kids in adult bodies.
——
After earning an unusual load of overcritical glances from passers-by, you finally reached the bus station where many people stood.
Looking around with concern, your brows gently furrowed, a little confusion clouding your mind. It was good that Satoru could read you like a book.. sometimes.
“It’s okay, they’ll let us go past.”
The white-haired man muttered into your ear, placing his hands on your clothed shoulders.
“What if they don’t?”
“Oh they will.”
The way he said those words made you feel something, like it was your hormones playing tricks on you.
And so soon enough after waiting for a couple minutes, you had a glimpse of the scheduled bus turning around the corner.
“C’mon then.”
Placing a hand on the flat of your bump you both moved forwards, attempting to shift to the front.
“Satoru, I—”
“Just go baby, they’ll move for a pregnant queen like you.” He reassured, eyeing the men who weren’t moving out the way at first. Like they should, the women knew to make way, all flashing you sweetened smiles as you passed them.
Eventually you had gotten to the front with a man standing in the lead. “See?” Gojo smirked, watching you tilt your head back to see his beautiful face.
“M’kay..”
——
The doors of the vehicle swung open with a but too much vigour it almost took out the poor man standing next to them.
After Gojo, being the most pampering partner ever, paid for the tickets, he ushered you forwards only to discern no available seats. Gojo would be more than happy to stand, but it was you he worried about since you were already breathless and weak to stand.
The priority was stocked up with disabled and the impaired too apart from one space.
However that man who clearly perceived you were carrying a baby, sat in the seat in front of your face - glancing at you as he did so.
How selfish. Is he not embarrassed?
“There’s no seats left Gojo, I can’t stand anymore.”
Subtly you whined, being a little irritated that you couldn’t sit down and would have to uncomfortably stand as his baby rearranged your organs.
“..hm. Let’s see.”
“Wait—”
He shuffled to the man.
“Heello. Excuse me, but my miss is pregnant. Would you mind sparing the seat?” Gojo politely asked, hanging on to the pole situated in the middle of the aisle.
“What? Err no, sorry.”
That man was not sorry at all. It made you cringe.
Gojo’s expression paused, pressing his pastel lips together in irritation. Why wouldn’t this man listen?
“May I ask why are you being so difficult?”
After hearing those words, you knew this was going to veer off sideways. Almost everyone’s eyes were glued to the scene unfolding, all looking up from the windows and screen to see two men ‘bickering’ it out.
“Difficult? What do you mean, I was here first.” It seemed like the man had issues already, as he started to flail his hands around.
“My wife is pregnant, if you didn’t hear the first time. You’re sat in a priority seat, which where she should be sitting. Are you disabled?”
He was getting defensive. It was crystal clear that the man was not disabled, nor pregnant at that matter.
“..um no? But that doesn’t mean anything. I’m not giving up my seat for some cripple.”
A cripple?!
That’s it, Satoru had had enough and was desperate to split this man in half. Not a single person could insult you because he would already be on them like a hawk.
Anyways, the fact that the nasty being had called you a cripple, couldn’t help but make you feel a little too much like a burden, and your gaze saddened.
“You’ve gone too far. No-one. Absolutely no-one, is to offend my wife like that. So, jackass, vanish any place other so she can sit.”
“Or else?—”
“There is no ‘or else’ fool. You’ve already screwed the wrong person, so I suggest you move. Don’t do something stupid.”
The man, looking quite intimated, eventually got up and sulked off past the two of you.
“Thanks.” Satoru fake smiled, stalking him ‘till he had gone else where, far away from you.
All this drama had made you forgot about the achy pain surfacing your body, which immediately flowed back as realisation hit you.
“..oof-” It had subconsciously left your lips, and it made Satoru’s brows cross.
“Here you go my love. Is it hurting?”
He concernedly asked, holding your velvet hands as you lowered your rear on the much-needed seat.
“I’ll be fine, just what I needed.” You smiled back at him, tucking a stray hair behind you ear as you breathed out.
“I’m glad. Some morons just think they are ‘entitled’.”
—————— thank you for reading! this is my original idea and have worked hard on this. so please no translating, copying, posting my work on a different platform, or modifying my work. all rights reserved - kmuradesu
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chunghasweetie · 5 months ago
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𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍’ 𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 | J.JK
— pairing | fem!oc x husband!jjk
— summary | jungkook’s been working non stop and you’re finally sick of repeating yourself (healthy argument)
— warning | bad writing (i’m doing my best) medium angst, workaholic jk, makeup sex, mentions of breeding kink, unprotected sex
— word count | 2.8k words
— song suggestion | thinking about you — ariana grande
He knew he messed up. Big time.
It was very late at night. Damn near 2am.
Jungkook had just barely arrived home to a silent house. He walked into his twin babies room, noticing that both baby Hiro and baby Liyah were already asleep for the night.
He hadn’t seen them in days.
He was working like crazy recently, going into work when he really didn’t need to.
He ran his own car line and was always on top of it when it came to work. The last month he had hardly ever been home long enough to interact with his family.
His wife knew what she was getting into when she married him. She knew his company was important to him and she completely understood.
But recently things had been different lately. He was missing doctors appointments, events, and simply quality time with her and their babies.
The twins were around 7 months old and were definitely a handful for his wife. She could handle everything on her own but it wasn’t always easy.
She needed him.
Tonight he really messed up.
He opened his room door, seeing his wife on her phone. He had promised her that he’d get off early to attend a family gathering but he chose to work again.
He knew she was greatly upset. “Hey baby” He announced his presence, cracking their door open behind him.
“Hey.” She replied dryly, not looking up from her phone.
She was beyond pissed and he could instantly sense it.
Jungkook walked over to her side of the bed, sitting down beside her. He knew she was upset with him, and he couldn't blame her.
"Y/n,I'm sorry. I really am." His voice was low, sincere, and full of regret. “I just got caught up baby.”
She didn’t say anything, simply rolling her eyes.
Jungkook's heart sank as he saw her roll her eyes. He knew he hurt her, and it was killing him inside.
He reached out and gently took her phone, setting it aside on the nightstand. "Baby, please look at me. I really am sorry."
“It’s fine, Jungkook.” The irritation was visible on her face. He’s been working all day and night and she needed him around.
She hardly ever seen him. He promised her he would go with her and he still didn’t go. She was hurting.
Jungkook felt a wave of guilt wash over him as he saw the hurt and disappointment in her eyes.
"Baby, I know it's not fine. I messed up. I promised you that I would go to the party with you, and I didn't show up." He admitted.
“You know how fucking embarrassing it was?” She looked at him.
“I looked like a hot mess today Jungkook and everyone felt sooo bad for me and I felt so humiliated” She continued.
Jungkook's heart ached as he saw the pain and embarrassment in her eyes.
He took her hand in his, his thumb gently tracing circles on the back of her hand. "I'm so sorry, baby. I should have been there with you. It must have been awful for you."
“Yeah you fucking should’ve.” She rolled her eyes once more. “You begged me for a fucking baby and I gave you twins and you can’t even show up for them. I’ve been doing everything myself.”
Jungkook's heart sank as he heard her words, a knot forming in his stomach. "I know, baby. I'm sorry. I never meant for you to feel like you’re on your own."
He pulled her into a tight hug, pressing his lips to the top of her head. "I’m so sorry gorgeous.”
“Jungkook we’ve had this conversation so many times.” She shook her head “You’re a fucking workaholic.”
He knew she was right. There was no denying he was putting work over his family. He knew he had to make a change.
Jungkook sighed as he felt her frustration and disappointment. He couldn't believe he had let things get this bad between them.
"You're right, Y/n. I've been a workaholic, not giving you the attention you deserve." He took a deep breath and looked into her eyes.
“It’s not even me it’s your kids you need to be there for. I know they’re babies and they won’t remember but they still need you Jungkook. I need you.” She sniffed, obviously stressed and fighting tears.
“You missed it, earlier at the function Hiro was trying to crawl.” She then broke down, letting her tears fall. “And you missed it.”
“Fuck.” Jungkook listened to her, realizing the true extent of the damage he had caused. He felt guiltier than ever.
"I know, Y/n. I've been selfish, thinking only about work, neglecting my children and my beautiful wife." He sighed. “You shouldn’t have to suffer on your own.”
“I just want change. I-I just don’t know what else to do.” She sighed. “Both twins were crying and needy. E-Everyone was doubting me like I couldn’t take care of my own kids.”
Jungkook's heart ached as he heard the pain in her voice. He couldn't bear the thought of her feeling alone in this, feeling like she wasn't doing enough.
He reached out and gently took her hand. "Listen to me, Y/n," he said softly, "You are the perfect mother. You are capable and strong and loving.”
He continued, “I was wrong to leave it all on you and I promise that I will change. I will be there for our children, I will support you in every way possible. And to those who doubt you, let them eat shit."
She cried more at his words, hardly able to compose herself. Jungkook's heart swelled with love at the sight of her emotion.
He pulled her into a tight embrace and whispered soothing words into her ear. "Shh, it's okay, mama. I'm here for you now, always. I will never let you down again."
“Please mean it this time.” She hiccuped.
Jungkook cupped her face gently and locked eyes with her.
"I have never been more serious about anything in my life. I love you and our children more than words can express. I promise you, I will do whatever it takes to make things right and earn your trust back."
Jungkook's heart ached at the sight of her tears.
He pulled her into a kiss, caressing her back gently. "It's okay, mama. I understand. I'm here for you now. What do you need me to do to make you feel better? I’ll drop everything immediately for us baby.”
“Can you just stay home tomorrow? Spend time with the babies— That’s all I want.”
Jungkook smiled softly at her and held her closely, rubbing her back soothingly.
"Of course beautiful. I will stay home tomorrow. I will be here for you all day, just like you deserve. I love you." He then kissed her forehead.
“I’ll stay home with you tomorrow, the next day, next week, next month. Shit, I’ll stay home with you until they’re in preschool.” He told her, making her eyes widen.
He knew he needed to do this. Her crying and confronting him gave him the wake up call he really needed. She didn’t deserve anything he was going to her and the kids didn’t deserve it either.
He wanted a baby so bad and he was fortunate enough to have his wife give him
two. He was taking that all for granted and
he knew that now.
“I love you too.” She wiped her eyes.
Jungkook's eyes shone with love and devotion as he looked at her. "I am so lucky to have a wife like you, mama. You are my everything."
He gently wiped away the remaining tears and hugged her tighter, feeling his heart swell with love for her.
“I’m luckier. I know I complain and I bitch at you a lot but I do really love you.” She told him, pecking his lips.
Jungkook's heart fluttered at her affectionate peck on his lips.
He smiled, feeling grateful for her. "You are amazing, mama. And I know we have our moments, but I wouldn't have it any other way."
Jungkook chuckled and deepened their kiss, feeling his love for her grow even more.
He kissed her passionately, savoring the taste of her lips and feeling his heart race with excitement. "I would do anything for you, Y/n. You’re my world.”
Jungkook smiled against her lips, feeling his heart swell with happiness. He deepened their kiss even further, his hands roaming over her body possessively. "You make me complete, mama. You are my weakness."
“Am I?” She giggled against his lips.
Jungkook couldn't help but chuckle at her teasing tone. He nodded and nuzzled his nose against hers.
"Yes, you are. You have me wrapped around your finger, and you know it." He gave her lips another kiss.
He couldn't get enough of her, couldn't stop himself from kissing her. "Mama, you make me so happy." He whispered the words against her lips, before pulling back slightly to look at her. “You’re so pretty.”
“Thank you babe” She blushed.
"I wanna make this up to you" He leaned down to kiss her neck, making her giggle and squirm in his arms.
She let him kiss all over her neck, loving how much attention he gave her.
He moved his lips from her neck to her lips, kiss immediately turned hot in seconds.
She made out with him on their bed, giving wet sloppy kisses.
Jungkook groaned as she started to kiss him, his arms tightening around her as he returned the kiss.
He couldn't get enough of her, couldn't stop himself from deepening the kiss. "Fuck mama..."
The two hadn’t got into it in some time. He had been working and she was always occupied with something else.
Now with built up emotions, it was just the time to ease up with one another.
Jungkook pulled back slightly, looking at her with a heated gaze. "You are so fucking beautiful."
He leaned in to kiss her again, before pulling back and standing up from the bed. "Wanna have you now. Gotta show my woman some
love.”
“You’re gonna make it up to me like this?” She bit her lips
“You want it don’t you?” Jungkook smiled into the kiss, his hands reaching for her silky pajama shirt. He tugged it up over her head, revealing her lacy red bra.
"You are so fucking hot, Y/n." He whispered against her lips, before leaning in to capture her lips in a deep, passionate kiss once more.
“I know. You have a hot wife who still tries to look good for you.” She smirked against his lips.
Jungkook chuckled, his hands reaching for the clasp of her bra. "And I’m beyond grateful. She’s the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen.”
“Getting impatient baby.” She licked her lips, eyeing him.
Jungkook groaned at her words, his hands reaching for the button of his pants. "You have no idea how much I want you, mama."
He murmured, before pulling down his pants and boxers, revealing his hard cock. "I'm going to do you so good baby.”
“Better not disappoint me.” She replied jokingly.
Jungkook chuckled, leaning in to kiss her again. "I would never disappoint you and you know that.." He whispered, before guiding himself inside of her.
The couple both gasped as he slipped himself inside.
“Oh fuck” He looked down. “Missed this so much. To think I was missing this for work.”
“Fucking finally. Needed this.” She cursed, still taking him in. She was desperate for him.
Jungkook groaned at her words, thrusting deeper into her. "You feel so fucking good, mama." He growled, his hands gripping onto her hips as he moved in and out of her. “So fucking tight.”
“You could’ve been had this.” She hummed, “That’s your fault.”
"I'm sorry, mama. I know I've been working a lot lately." He whispered, kissing her neck. "But you're all I think about when I'm gone. I promise.”
“You sure? Prove it then.” She cocked her eyebrow.
Jungkook smirked, going harder into her, showing her just how much he loves and desires her.
"You think I'm not capable?" He growled in her ear before kissing her hard as he continued his thrusting. "You're the only thing on my mind."
Jungkook slammed into her, making her mouths shoot open in surprise at his new brute force.
"I'll take care of you real good." He promised, only after a few more hard slams into her. "So fucking beautiful. All mine.”
“Shit you feel good.” She whimpered, trying not to make too much noise. “Fuck that’s it.”
Jungkook smirked at her. "I know it does, mama." He whispered, his lips barely leaving her ear as he continued to thrust into her. "That's right. Take it baby.”
“So good— Missed this dick so much” She confessed.
Jungkook's eyes roll back as a moan of pure pleasure leaves his mouth. "Fuck, mama." He breathed out through clenched teeth.
"I missed this pussy, more than anything." He said, before picking up the pace, making their skin slapping louder and louder.
“My woman” He mumbled into her ear. “My wife. The mother of my kids. Rely on me more. Please.”
He continued. “Gonna fucking take years off work all for us. Gonna make more babies with you. Should I fuck another one into you tonight? Hm?”
She was beyond heated, unable to say anything but simply nod.
Jungkook chuckles as she admits what he already knows. "That’s it pretty girl" He groaned, slamming into her even harder at the revelation. "I haven't felt you like this in so long, I was fucking dying without you, Y/!.”
“You should’ve stayed home with me more— fuck.” She moaned quietly, “Only using my fingers was killing me”
Jungkook's thrust became wilder at her words, it's been so long since he heard her moan his name like this. "Fuck, mama. I will, I swear. I'll stay home with you every fucking night, no more having to do everything yourself.”
Jungkook leaned down, trailing kisses along her neck, then whispering against her lips.
She returned the energy. She made out with him roughly, taking her frustration out on him and letting it all go.
Jungkook deepened the kiss, pulling her closer and letting her release her frustrations.
His hand reached down, gripping her ass and pulling her even closer as he thrusts harder into her, grunting into her mouth. "Love it when you fuck me back, just like this."
“Can’t help it.” She fluttered his mouth with open mouthed kisses, whining.
Jungkook growls at the sound of her whine, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he gets closer to his release. "Fuck, I love it when you're like this. So fucking needy and eager for me."
“Been needing this dick for months now” She groaned into his mouth.
Jungkook smirks against her lips, his hand reaching up and gripping her throat gently. "I know, mama. I made you wait and I’ll never do that shit again. You deserve this shit every morning and every night."
“Better fucking mean that shit too.”
Jungkook chuckles, leaning down and sucking on her neck, biting down and leaving a bruise. "All to myself. I’m so lucky.”
Jungkook thrusts into her harder, losing his rhythm as he approaches his release. "Fuck, yeah, that's it. Come for me, mama. Show me how much you love my dick."
“Shit” She curses, “Fuck mm so close Jungkook.” She gripped on his hair roughly before finally reaching her high and cumming.
Jungkook groans and thrusts a few more times before he finally reaches his climax, filling her up with his hot seed, gripping her hips tightly.
"Fuck, Y/n. You got me going to make me fucking crazy with that tight pussy for years now.” He panted, trying to catch his breath.
“You look pretty with that afterglow.” Jungkook chuckles and kisses her forehead before standing up and grabbing a warm washcloth to clean her up.
“Such a gentleman.” She blushed.
"You're always so fucking cute, baby. I love it." He says, smiling warmly at her before helping her sit up and cleaning her down there.
“Thank you baby.” She caught her breath.
“Although you made it up to me right now, I really want you to spend more time with me and the babies.” She exhaled. “They’re only this age once.”
Jungkook nods, setting the washcloth aside before crawling back into bed and pulling her into his arms.
"You're right, mama. I'll make sure to spend more time with you and the babies." He says, kissing the top of her head. “I’ll be around 24/7 now baby. You never have to worry about me again.”
“Okay baby.” She pecked his lips, “I love you.”
Jungkook smiles and pecks her back before wrapping his arms around her. "I love you too, mama."
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Note
my love if i may request a whiskey with dbf!joel or dbf!bucky with the prompt “i’ve wanted this for so long” and mayhaps if it’s not too much to ask for but some breeding kink👀👉🏻👈🏻
Promises, Promises.
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warnings - smut. cursing.
I figured I'd make this dbf!bucky, because i've done a dbf!joel fic for this celebration already. y'all, I read the words dad's best friend and go fucking feral. this one got away from me.
3k celebration post here. 3k masterlist here.
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You're the last person Bucky expected to be at his front door at 3am.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"Locked myself out of my goddamn house, and my parents are still on vacation. Can I crash here tonight? Please?"
Who is he to turn down an offer that tempting?
"Course. Come on, it's too cold for you to be stood out here."
The two of you sit down on his couch, settling in to watch some TV.
"Bucky Barnes. Are you watching a romcom?"
He blushes, a slight flush creeping up his cheeks.
"If you tell anyone, I'll kill you. They're my guilty pleasure."
"It makes me like you more, if anything," you grin. He can't help but smile back at you, less embarrassed now.
"Look, my love life is fuckin' terrible. I live vicariously through these cheesy films right now."
"You? Terrible love life? Those two phrases don't usually go in the same sentence."
You're teasing him. Seeing if you can get a rise, hit the right button.
"Oh, shut it. Just because you're on a new date every week."
"I'm... what?"
"Your Dad seems to think you're dating a lot."
You quirk a brow at him, amusement curling at the corners of your lips.
"Is that so?"
"I'm only telling you what I've heard, honey."
He crosses his arms across his chest, biceps threatening to break free from the confines of his t shirt.
"He's wrong."
"Is that so?"
You roll your eyes.
"I have a friend, he's a guy. My Dad automatically assumes we're dating because we hang out. But we're not."
"And why not?"
"I don't know, I guess he's just..." you debate your answer, realising it's now or never. "He's not old enough for me. Not mature enough."
Bucky bites his lip, eyes scanning your face.
"He's your age."
"Exactly. Boys my age don't know shit."
He laughs, but it's dark and low, something brewing beneath the surface.
"You always were too smart for your own good, huh?"
Bucky's thigh is pressing into yours, the warmth from his skin seeping through. His rough fingertips glide across your arm, slow and soft. He's testing the waters.
"I shouldn't want this," he murmurs, barely audible. "Neither should you."
"But I do," you whisper. "So fucking bad."
"Me too."
Bucky grabs the back of your neck, smashing his lips to yours. You grip at his hair, his biceps, his shirt - anything you can get a hold of. You feel like you're dreaming, your filthiest thoughts coming into fruition.
He pulls you into his lap so you're straddling his hips, grinding down and panting into his mouth. You're both breathless, but neither of you want to be the first to pull away.
Bucky rips your shirt over your head, instantly attacking your chest with kisses. He's marking you up, claiming you as his. You should be worried about the repercussions, but you're not.
You pull his shirt off and rake your nails down his front, grinning when he shivers. Suddenly, Bucky stands up, setting you on your feet.
"Strip."
You blink at him, processing.
"Strip, baby. I won't tell you again."
You shimmy your pants down your legs, your underwear going too. Your mouth waters as you watch him undress, admiring the angles and smooth ridges of him. A Greek God.
Bucky stalks over to you and hooks a foot behind your ankle, sending you both flying onto the rug on the floor. He cushions your fall, not letting go of you once. Running two fingers through your wet heat, he groans.
"All for me, pretty girl? What did I do to deserve somethin' this sweet, huh?"
"Need you," you whine. "Please, Buck."
"I've wanted this for so long," he murmurs, lining himself up. "Fuck, you're a dream."
You both gasp as he slides home, your back arching and his jaw falling slack. Bucky rests a hand against the base of your throat, the weight grounding you back down to Earth.
"Need you to move," you choke out. "Fuck, I need it, Buck. Please."
"Oh you need it, do you?" he smirks. "My needy girl."
He snaps his hips into yours in long, careful glides, very aware of the effect he has on you. Before long, his restraint snaps, and his thrusts get harder, quicker, more frantic.
"Gonna fill you up, baby," he's muttering under his breath. "Make you mine. You want that? To have everyone know who you belong to?"
You're nodding rapidly, tears gathering in your eyes, bottom lip caught between your teeth.
"How are we gonna keep this a secret if you're pregnant, huh?"
The thought makes you moan, a breathy, gutteral sound.
"You like that? Want me to make you a mommy? Fuck, I'll give you everything you ask for. I'll buy you a house and knock you up, you'll never want for anything."
His low, honeyed words throw you over the edge, squeezing and clenching around him. Bucky groans, deep and rumbled, the sound vibrating through the both of you. You find your releases together, panting and out of breath.
"House first."
"Huh?" he breathes, raising his head from your chest.
"Buy me a house first. Kids second. Maybe marriage in between."
He laughs, floating and content. You both know he meant what he said, not just a heat of the moment confession.
You stay wrapped up in each other for hours, on the rug in front of the fire.
You'll deal with the repercussions later.
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6K notes · View notes
stunies · 17 days ago
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CAN’T WE JUST PRETEND? hayato suo x f!reader ノ nsfw ノ kinktober day 25 — camgirl + streaming ノ 3520 words
you always do what the highest tipper says, but looks like that’s backfired tonight. “bring someone to fuck you raw on your next stream” they said, but oh. you don’t have a boyfriend, do you? so the next best option would be to swallow your pride and ask one of your friends to play the part.
CONTAINS ノ explicit smut, camgirl!reader, creampie, dry humping, little plot - smut heavy, multiple orgasms, pet names, streaming + audience, traces of possessiveness (suo), virginity loss (reader), this is a minimally edited old draft but i hope you like it regardless! ^ ^
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“You want me to join one of your streams?” Suo tilts his head to the side, gently placing his cup back onto your desk. He swivels around in your chair to face you, and you suddenly feel like a guest in your own room.
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” your head hangs low. “So.. you would be the closest person to that, I think.”
“Am I?” His lips tug into a small smile, and it dawns on you that you’ve just outed your inexperience to him. Your face burns a little more, this time spreading to the tips of your ears, but you fight it off with a quick shake of your head. “Well, you don’t necessarily need to have a boyfriend, right? The comment you showed me said it could be anyone.”
You think he might just be poking fun at you the way he always does. Egging you on to make you admit something embarrassing again.
It was already over for you years ago when he learned that you get flustered easily- and he’s never given you a break since. Always leaning in a bit too close for comfort and saying things he knows will come off the wrong way. Flirtatious, even. “I-I know,” you stammer. “But I want it to be someone I’m close to.”
“Why’s that? You’re such a pretty girl. You wouldn’t have trouble finding someone, right?”
He probably just wants to hear you say that you picked him because you like him, you tell yourself, but it’s not like you have any other options.
You fiddle with the hem of your skirt. “Well, I’ve never done it before. So I don’t wanna… lose it.. to a stranger. Literally anyone else would be fine, I think.”
Suo’s eyes widen at your confession. “Oh. You’ve never done it before?”
“No.” You tear your gaze to the side. “I stream stuff, but I’ve never done it with an actual person. Only… by myself. With toys… it shouldn't matter!” You wave your hands back and forth. “I’m good at pretending. They won’t be able to tell it’s my first time, so don’t worry, okay?”
He agrees with a cheerful nod. As if he would ever even dream of passing up a chance like this.
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Suo feels awfully at peace with himself when he follows you to your room. It’s exactly the way it looks in your streams, and reality starts to dawn on him. You trust him enough to be your first, and to be your first visitor on your streams? How sweet of you.
Suo’s always been around you, just a breath’s away, but never this close. No one approaches you when you're with him because everyone has already started to assume that the two of you have been dating since long ago, and he was content with that. Being close to you was good enough. For now.
A part of him wonders if this thinking will change after today.
He helps you move some of your things out of frame. You’ve fallen awfully quiet, and he chalks it up to your nervousness kicking in. You’ve always had a habit of getting quiet whenever you were trying to focus and needed to push down your nerves.
“I think we’re ready.”
“Ah.” Suo smiles when he takes a seat beside you.“You’re sure you’re ready?”
You visibly tense when his thigh brushes against your own. Cute.
“M..mhm. It’s gonna start recording in….” you lean over your bed to fiddle with your camera, and his eyes linger over the curve of your back, “ten seconds.”
Nine.
Eight.
His hand comes to pat your head, and you shoot him a glare. He chuckles. Seven.
“Sorry. I couldn’t help myself. You look cute all nervous.”
Six.
“I am not nervous,” you huff, and his smile doesn’t falter. “And don’t tease me when it starts!”
Five.
“We’re supposed to not know each other,” you add, “so you’re supposed to act like you’re just one of my followers.”
Four. Oh, if only you knew. Who do you think sent you this request in the first place?
Three. Two.
He settles a little more comfortably on your bed, and you smile brightly.
One.
“Ah! Hello everyone.” Suo turns to you, and heat rushes to your cheeks almost immediately after. He’s taking the initiative? “The video is working fine, I assume? I’ll be her…” his fingers hook underneath your chin, and you stiffen. “..First guest tonight.”
“Yea…m..mhm!” A sharp inhale through your nose helps you regain your focus. Bubbly and cute- that was how you wanted to be perceived while on stream. “I brought him on to join us today!” You wrap your arms around him, moving behind him to rest your chin on his shoulder. “This was what you all wanted to see, right?”
The comments start flooding in almost immediately. Some seem to like Suo, and some don’t. Others are wishing it was them instead- but that’s to be expected. Suo reads them all with a kind smile, and a part of you is glad that it’s him who was here with you tonight. He seems to be a natural. “Let’s give everybody what they want and make good use of their time. Doesn’t that sound good?”
The hesitant nod you give him is a little out of character for you, but you’re sure no one would be able to notice your sudden shyness. You make a mental note to try and do a better job at hiding your nerves going forward, though it’s a bit challenging when Suo smiles at you like he knows what you’re thinking. His gaze is strong.
It makes you feel shy. Like he’s uncovered some secret of yours that you didn’t even know you had.
Just ignore it. Ignore the hands that guide your hips when you slowly climb onto his lap, making sure your audience gets a good view of your ass when you do. Suo angles himself a bit, runs his hands up and down your sides and it’s pathetic how hard you shiver from such a light touch. “H-hey,” your voice drops to a low whisper, “quit making me all blushy..”
“Am I?” The way he innocently cocks his head to the side is infuriating. “I haven’t done anything, princess. You’re welcome to use me how you wish so you can please your audience.”
“I-I know.”
You hover above him for a moment, and just how pretty your best friend is finally starts to sink in. His hair looks soft. His lips look soft too. Another curious tilt of his head snaps you out of your daze, and you close the distance the next second– lips meeting his own in a sensual kiss. He’s angled you in such a way that your cam doesn’t quite catch the kiss itself. It’s focused on the back of your body, so he takes advantage of that- moves his lips against yours softly and slowly.
He wants to take his time with you. Make the most of this. Your viewers can wait. He would give them what they want later.
All they care about is seeing you get fucked dumb, right? He will.
He’ll take his time ruining you thoroughly– just has to admire every bit of you first. It’s your first time after all.
“You’re so cute,” he smiles between kisses, his exhale trailing into a soft laughter when you visibly tense at the compliment. “Oh? Getting nervous on your own stream? That’s not like you.”
You can only muster a shaky noise of protest. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to bring him on camera after all.
His eyes shift behind you, glancing at the comments, and he suddenly perks up at one in specific. “Oh dear, you already have a request, dove. They want to see you spread in front of them.”
Of all the reactions he had expected from you, the last thing he would have expected is for you to pout at him pulling away. “T-the kiss…” your voice trails off into a huff, and the amused laugh that leaves his lips surprises him too. Oh, how cute. “All you had to do was ask, my dear. Come back here.”
You practically melt into his touch. He kisses you a little more intensely this time. Kisses you with the intention of claiming you as his. You’re moaning into it, and the jitters in your stomach fills you with so much want.
You need him so bad- why does kissing him feel so good?
You’ve never looked at him in this way. Were you always hiding this somewhere in your heart? It feels so natural, feels so good that you’re certain no toy could possibly replicate how good Suo is making you feel with just a kiss. You shut your eyes a little harder when you feel him run his fingers and down your sides again, heartbeat pounding against your chest and you swear it’s making you feel dizzy.
He’s exploring your body. That’s what he’s doing, right? Why does it feel like he already knows your body so well?
His fingers brush over all your sensitive spots. It sends shivers shooting down your spine, and he seems to already know this by the way he smiles against your lips.
You’re on your back before you even realize it. Oh- that’s right. He’s good with his hands from what you’ve heard. He has that unique fighting style… though you’ve never seen it yourself.
Suo’s hands rest on either side of your head, and he looks down at you with that all too knowing smile that heats your face up all over again.
“Spread.”
Your lips tremble from the searing warmth that spreads to your ears. Has.. has he always been like this? You give him a shaky nod- force yourself to stay focused. His gaze feels as if it’s been intensifying with each passing second and it’s flustering you. Suo’s eyes are locked on your body when you shyly spread your thighs apart, leaving your cunt fully exposed for him and your audience to see. “Mmm. Good. And how do you all feel about this?”
He turns to the camera. He’s talking to them- wants their confirmation that you did good. You look at them too, not realizing the shy expression you’re giving them until someone points it out.
User156: she looks soaked
User32: Hurry and touch her
User98: Try and make her wetter
User112: She looks cute today. Like she’s nervous?
“Hmmm..” his eyes scan over the comments. “I can do that. Watch her carefully, okay?”
He moves back on top of you, lowering himself onto his elbows to hover just above you. “Your viewers want to see you get all needy for me,” he whispers against the shell of your ear, and you tense. “So let’s get you nice and soaked for them, okay?”
He lets his lower body rest on yours, and that’s when you feel it press against you. “Ahh.. you feel it?” He whispers into your ear, and your mouth falls open in a shaky moan. “See what you do to me? It’s driving me a little crazy.”
He smiles at the way your lips press into a shaky line. You really didn’t know? Did you not expect him to get hard from kissing you?
He presses into you a little harder, smiling when you gasp. He feels big, doesn’t he? The comments start flooding in as soon as he starts moving his hips against yours, the friction only making you dizzier and needier for him to finally fill you up.
“That feels…. ah… feels….” your arms come to wrap around his back, pulling him a little closer to you. The way his breath fans against your neck only makes you melt into him more. His breath makes you shiver– and oh, he smells so good. His hair is soft when your fingers rake through it. You feel him smile into your neck this time, and it sends a wave of pleasure straight to your cunt.
You want him so bad that it’s pathetic.
He knows how to perfectly grind against you to hit your clit with each roll of his hips. It’s just enough pressure to have your mouth falling open in a moan, but not enough to where you’re jerking. Your reactions are fully under his control- your viewers feel the same too.
User990: Her eyes are rolling back from that
USer4456: Gotta see her take him inside soon.
User12: fuck her dumb already
“Feeling good? I can see that you are… you’re so cute.” He wonders if it would be too mean to mention that you’re pulling him closer to you by wrapping your legs around his waist, but ultimately decides against it. “Want more kisses?”
“Yes!”
That was fast.
He gives you one peck before he’s tilting your head to the side, planting sloppy kisses along your jaw and behind your ear. You’re latched onto him like a koala now, gasping into his chest each time he brushes against your clit. The friction is numbing, and it feels so good that you can’t tell if you’re cumming.
It all feels equally good– pleasure blurring together and it’s almost scary how desperate you’re feeling.
“You’re making quite the mess..” Suo laughs, and your cheeks burn with embarrassment. “You didn’t feel it running down your thighs? It’s everywhere.” Your eyes widen, because you really didn’t feel it. “Too busy thinking about my cock? I’ll put it inside you if the viewers ask me too.”
The viewers. That’s right.
“Please…” the change in your volume makes it clear that you’re speaking to your audience, “please let him fuck me. I need it so bad… I…”
He only smiles at you.
User46: Do it already
User39: She’s gonna cry at this rate
User125: He’s pretty mean, isnt he?
User80: He’s having fun with it, clearly. I like her like this though
You hate how visibly happy you get after reading the first comment. He’ll finally give it to you now that they’ve asked, won’t he? “Hey..” you gesture towards Suo when he grinds against your clit once more, “they said…”
“I know.”
A strong hand comes to keep your hips planted on the mattress when you instinctively push back against him. “There’s no rush,” he smiles, “I just needed to make sure you were ready.”
A light chuckle leaves his lips when he catches your brows furrowing. He’d have to teach you patience another time maybe. If you’ll let him, that is.
“I’m ready,” you latch onto him again, arms wrapped around his neck.
“Are you sure?”
Teasing. That jerk.
“I am. I’m—”
You’re silenced by the gentle way his hand comes to cradle the back of your head against his chest before he finally pushes in. It feels good- how does it feel better than your toys? You’ve never felt like this– it’s numbing. It feels so good that you’re not sure you can handle more. “W-whoa… ah— S-suo-”
“Relax.” His voice makes your walls flutter, and you seem to finally understand just how badly your body has been craving Suo. “Relax and let me inside, okay? I know your body.” Your body heats up, and yourself turn to mush. “I know your limits. Trust me and ease up, okay?”
You try to listen. He pushes the rest of his length inside in one swift movement, and your head falls back in a silent scream– legs trembling and even Suo’s mouth falls open in a subtle gasp. Fuck- you realize you’re cumming, and you’re cumming hard.
User99: Did she just cum?
User106: she came from him bottoming out.. No way
User54: If it was me, she would have cum just from the tip.
The grip you have around Suo’s back is painful to say the least. You’re still fluttering around his length, chest rising up and down in loud gasps. “Now… are you still feeling okay?” His body covers your own entirely when he lays you on your back, resting on both elbows that cage your head on either side. It makes you feel safe, even with an orgasm that was so intense you almost feel scared. You briefly wonder how he’ll make you feel when he finally moves.
“M-mhm… I’m o-okay,” your face feels hot, and the stutter in your own voice betrays you.
“Looks like you’re feeling really good.” He catches on immediately. “Then, I’ll start moving….”
Already? Wait. You’re still sensitive—
User2663: oh wow
User919: this is more like it
User152: Finally at the good part
“Ahh… you’re squeezing really hard, aren’t you? Ease up for me.”
He feels so good that you can barely hear him. Even if you try to ease up— you’re not sure if you can. Not with how good he’s stretching you out. But you try anyway, try and be good for him so he’ll give you kisses all over your face again, and he seems to be content with your efforts. “There you go. Just like that. Relax and trust me.”
You’ve never felt this way towards your best friend. It feels good. Everything about him feels good. Each roll of his hips fills you perfectly— hits against a spot inside you that sends pleasure coursing through your body.
He’s everywhere. Kissing your neck, whispering in your ear— his hands run up and down your sides and you’re so hot you think you might actually be melting. Your second high approaches you faster than ever before, and he smiles against your skin.
“You’re getting close, aren’t you? I can tell. Don’t hide it from me. Let it out. Show me how good you feel.”
You’re getting close. So close. So close that you could already feel it– feel the way your mind blanks and your body tenses. Suo’s all over you- and you can feel each drag of his cock, each kiss he plants on your neck, you can feel the way his lips move when he laughs against your neck–
Your eyes shoot open when it finally hits you like a wave, vision dotting white. You let out a piercing shriek when hot flashes wash over you all at once, walls spasming around his cock and he only seems to fuck you better when he picks up on it. “Oh? Cumming again? What a good girl you are,” his voice carries a hint of breathlessness in it from how tightly you’re squeezing him. “It’s an intense one, isn’t it? Your eyes never roll back like this.”
Even when you feel like you’re about to pass out with pleasure, it clicks in your head. “E-eh? What do you mean..? A-ah…. feels good.. feels..” your head falls back against the pillow, body rocking up and down each time he pushes against you.
“Hm? Nothing you need to worry about, dove,” you feel him follow you, lean down and his teeth brush over your neck. You stifle a moan. “So, my pretty girl…”
“Inside..” he raises his voice to address the viewers, “or somewhere else?”
You choke out a moan when he abruptly grabs your tits, giving them one squeeze. Then two. Then a third one, a little gentler than the first two. “Maybe here?”
“Or…” he takes a fistful of your ass in his hands next, chuckling when you gasp. “Here?”
It sounds like he’s addressing the viewers, but he’s not looking at their responses- eyes on you only. “S-Suo…” your voice is barely audible at this point, body too fucked out and tired to try moving, so you just lay there and take everything he has to offer. “Inside.. please..”
“Oh. Inside? What a good girl,” he’s whispering so low that you’re certain they can’t hear him.
“You knew I was talking to you. Very well,” he sets a rougher pace against you, and you can only cling onto him for dear life. “Then I’ll dump it all inside you.”
“You’ll take all of it, won’t you? You’re such a good girl for me.”
“Mhm– yes, yes, I will! Please give it to me…”
It’s cute how needy you are even in your current state. It only takes a couple more thrusts before his face contorts, only for a second before he regains his composure, and he pushes deep inside, cock shooting ropes of cum against your cervix as you let out a whine.
He pumps you full of cum, fills you to the brim and a part of him is content that he’s claimed you for all of your viewers to watch with jealousy. He’s the only one who’s done this with you.
And he’s intent on keeping it that way.
User278: show us the creampie!!
User9293: we want to see
He gives them a warm smile before abruptly shutting off the stream. Enough of that. He was starting to get tired of their comments anyway. As if he’d be willing to show them such an intimate sight.
“So,” he turns back to you again, expression softening ever so slightly when his eyes land on you again. “Are you going to show me your real expressions now?”
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lace dividers from @adornedwithlight
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bee-wg · 3 months ago
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Year 3:
Now that I think about it, football has been a constant in my life for five years now. I’m not sure if I enjoy football anymore; it used to be about the fun we have passing the ball, now it’s all about the stats or the perfect form. 
I stood up from the bleachers to hand Brad his towel.
“I’m going to leave the team, Brad,” I said.
“What? Where did this come from?” He said frantically.
“Everyone knows I’m still on the team because you’re the team’s captain now,” I said.
“I don’t want to cause tension between you and Coach. There’s nothing I could do wobbling around the field anyway,” I added.
“Dude, you know I started playing football because of you, right?” Brad said.
“Bradley, relax. I’m not dead. You can come over to my house whenever you want.” I said.
“Theo can make you some lemon pudding cakes if you want to come,” hopefully this will calm him.
“Fine. Just so you know, I’m not happy about this,” he said, sounding like a brat.
“Okay, got it. Have fun at the party,” I chuckled.
“I won’t. I’m going to make the DJ play Lana Del Rey,” he said before entering the locker room.
There might be an oversight of me quitting football.
It’s literally the reason why I quit. I don’t know why it never crossed my mind.
How the fuck am I going to lose weight now?
“Maybe I would’ve thought it if the word, “exercise” was anywhere on my to-do list this past year,” the voice from the back of my head said.
Shut up, rational thought. I was just a little too cocky, that’s all.
My mind spins around the paths I could take to shed the fat.
Back to the gym for the bodybuilders to laugh at me jiggling like a puddle of slime on the treadmill.
No. Hard no.
Stop eating whatever Theo puts in front of my face.
Productive, but I’d rather die than miss out on the joy of the world.
Post my weight loss journey edits on social media, reminiscing on my rock-hard abs like a depressed, fat person.
No? No, actually it might just work.
My thumbs got to work. It took me an hour to choose a profile picture that represents me. I could go for a vacation photo by the beach, or the classic black and white moody gym pic. Except, I don’t have a picture of myself on my phone, so I chose the picture of an orange cat eating a banana.
With my camera set up, in my favourite green tank top. I pressed record.
It was an embarrassing experience editing myself, watching my belly sway every time I made a movement. In the end, I closed my eyes and uploaded the video.
“Oh! First comment already.” I said.
“Look at those milkers spilling out the tanks!”
3. Post my weight loss journey edits on social media, reminiscing on my rock-hard abs like a depressed, fat person.
The following weeks consisted of me eating my feelings. At least half of my classes are online this semester. I can be embarrassed in peace.
The pounds kept creeping up with each spoon of ice cream down my throat. In the blink of an eye, I am dangerously close to 300 pounds.
I finally worked up the courage to ask during a normal family dinner.
“Honey, what happened? You’re not eating as fast as usual. Is Theo not cooking enough?” Mom asked.
“No, Mom, I just…I just hope you guys can ease up with your little cooking competitions.”
“Oh honey, you know Theo and I will stop with the food whenever you ask.” Mom tries to reassure me.
“No! Obviously don’t stop the food. It’s just that I’ve been blowing up like a pig and I don’t know what to do about it.” I said.
“I didn’t know you were sad about it. I just want my family to be happy, you look the happiest when you eat,” Mom said
“It wouldn’t have helped when you guys lost for the past two years,” Mom added.
“Well, Dad likes to eat better, and no one eats like him,” I replied. 
“I’m sure my cooking was the reason we won. David is a gym teacher, he walks off the food easily,” Mom said.
“Theo is a professional though, no offence but no one on the planet cooks like him. I’m sure football was the reason we lost,” I said, trying to talk some sense into her.
Theo stares at us with wide eyes.
“Jacob, I’m sure you didn’t mean it,” Mom said with a blank face.
“You know what? Keep doing your competition, this time again next year we’ll see who’s the winner,” I said.
I am clearly a failure at losing weight. The only thing I’m good at is eating. If I’m going to gain weight anyway, I’m going to go all out and win this shit once and for all. Once this is settled, I can get back to normal. Not wanting to disappoint Theo when we lose again was probably the thing holding me back. I can’t wait to eat all the delicious things Theo is- I can’t wait for this to be over.
“Alright, Jay,” she turned to Theo and said.
“Theo, my boy. I’m looking forward to seeing the results next year,” Mom said with a determined smile.
Everyone knows not to mess with Mom when she has that look. Even then, I feel like we could still win. Theo’s food is hypnotic already when I am restrained; imagine what it will do to me when I’m going all out.
“What’s going on again?” Dad asked with cheeks full of pasta.
“Don’t worry baby, you just need to eat a little more next year,” Mom answered.
“Okay, as long as I get my lasagnas,” Dad said.
Later at night, struggling to sleep, I contemplated on the bad decisions I’ve made. This one might take the crown to be the stupidest thing I’ve done. Yet, I don’t regret it.
“You didn’t have to stand up for me,” Theo said.
“It’s the least I can do when you wake up early to prep for my food, or go off on the weekends for groceries when you could’ve been doing anything else,” I explained.
“Thank you so much, Jay. You don’t know how much this means to me. My family wanted me to do anything other than cooking, but you guys have been nothing but supportive,” he said.
I smiled at the ceiling. The gremlin is nicer than I remember.
“Now, I won’t allow you to slack anymore with the amount you’re eating. Not until the competition ends.”
Huh?
Theo had stuck to his word and increased the amount he was cooking. I am now eating the amount of three people in each spread-out meal, still lacking behind Dad’s impressive five person’s amount per meal. So I have been playing catch up with him this entire month.
I realized quickly that I had underestimated the gap between Dad and my appetite. In the last few years, for the most part, I have been eating whatever I want, leaving the rest to Dad. With the exception of eating for the team once a week, I have been slacking. That was quite a hard pill to swallow. I’m 300 pounds, yet not doing a good job as a fatass. How is that possible?
So far I have gained about 23 pounds in the past two months. Normally, I would freak out and have a breakdown in bed because I’ve gained more than my freshman year in two months. Right now with my messed up head, all I can think about is how far I am behind. If we lose this again, it would be once and for all, and I would never let myself live this down. Theo deserves better with how good he’s been treating me.
With my new bulk, the stairs have been an increasing challenge. So, a few weeks ago I moved downstairs to a tiny guest room that was converted to a storage room.
The moment I moved down, I could hear Theo’s voice yelling, “Yes, Finally! Goodbye insomnia,” In my old bedroom. Before, I would’ve yelled for the brat to shut up. Now, with my stomach full. I just wanted a nap in peace.
It took me no time to adjust to the new arrangement. With more time home from all the online classes, I get to be as lazy as I want. Dad has a similar arrangement at home. He retired from being a high school gym teacher and football coach, now he tutors history at home. He also abandoned his hobby of brewing in order to laze on the sofa all day.
On weekdays, Theo would leave an abundance of food for me to consume with a list of how I should eat them to expand my capacity. The weekends are like heaven. From the moment I woke up, Theo would prepare delicious appetizers and pancakes for me. From then on, I would have a constant stream of food flowing into my mouth every thirty minutes. Sometimes, I would move my hands and my mouth would start to chew unconsciously. Alarming, but helpful. 
My belly started to expand outwards on my lap each day as I sat in front of the computer. The arm rest would feel more snug when I move around.
I have now discovered the perks of being a fatass. I can explore things I never had time to do, like the anime Brad has been begging me to watch, games I always wanted to play. Best of all is to experience all of these without moving an inch. These are the things I would definitely look back on with fondness when the competition ends.
***
Today is my rare outing of the month; the bus is late again but I don’t blame them this time. The downpour of rain is gathering at the clogged sewer, creating a puddle. People are supposed to grow out of stepping in puddles when they’re kids. These undeveloped assholes apparently didn’t. Several cars saw the puddle and decided to splash it straight to my face.
It’s fine. It’s all fine. I will feel better later.
I walked a small trail after getting off the bus.
Great. The angels decide to stop peeing from the heavens when I’m about to get inside.
Dad is buying a new SUV, maybe I can drive it next time. It’s too big to sneak off though.
I thought as I skipped through the stone pathway. The usual grass is covered by the water, creating a small pond.
“Annyeonghaseyo,” I said to the door cam.
After pressing the doorbell several times, it replied.
"안녕, fuck boy. Back so soon?" Number Seven said.
“Yeah, yeah. Just open the damn door,” I said, trying to hurry the fucker.
Number Seven’s face appears in front of me.
“You’re soaked! Come on in,” he said.
His house appears to be orderly. Clean. He must’ve had another fatass here not long ago.
“Woah, you look—Wait, let me guess. Another fifteen pounds since last time?” He asked.
“Come on, let’s cut to the chase. I really need it right now,” I urged.
“Hahaha, not even a shower. Desperate much?” He said.
I walked inside his bedroom, dimmed the lights and took off my shirt.
He walked towards me. Grabbing me by the belly hang in one hand, he pulls down my underwear, causing my ass to vibrate.
“Fuuuuck, can you take it out first?” I asked, trying not to moan.
“Sure, you think you’re ready for me today?” He asked.
“Yeah, I think so,” I answered. 
He slid his hand behind, right down my ass crack and slowly pulled the vibrator off. I applied it before leaving home, without accounting for the possibility of the bus delay.
“Mmmmph, fuck,” I groaned.
I’ve been training towards today for a while. In the beginning, I would come to his house and he would suck me off. If I’m feeling experimental, I would suck him off. It stayed like that for about a year and he never complained. Then I asked him for more. He would start fucking me between my moobs or between my ass but never enter. One day, I told him I was ready for him to start fucking me.
Big mistake.
He’s a manwhore for a reason. I didn’t think an 8-inch would be so hard to take. How the girls and twinks take them in porn is beyond me. It was painful when he entered, even when he said he had “loosened my hole” with his fingers. I shouldn’t have believed him, the fucking thing was massive.
After the incident, he gave me small dildos and vibrators to get used to it. We eventually worked our way up the scale until the one he’s holding now. Why did I do all this work to have a men’s dick in my ass? Who knows. I have already accepted that I’ve lost it.
He sucked on my nipple suddenly. The sensation took me by surprise.
“Dude, some warnings please,” I asked.
“Yeah, sorry. Those tits are just so plumped. Your nipples have grown larger than my thumbs now,” he said, about to continue.
“OKAY, I get it. Can you get to work now?” I asked.
My boobs are what everyone thinks about when they see me these days. I’m sick of it.
“Hahahaha, can’t wait to be fucked, my pig?” He said before pushing me down the mattress.
I held my belly to stop it from jiggling. 
He raised one of my legs and opened the bottle of lube with his teeth.
“There’s something by the pillow. Put it in your mouth. It will distract you and dull the initial pain,” Number Seven instructed.
I reached out to grab a—frosted pound cake?
I’ve never seen people doing this in porn, but I’m smart enough to know not everything in porn is real. 
With my mouth full of cake, I spread out my legs, trying to relax so I don’t end up like last time.
He pushed two fingers in, slowly massaging me, then three fingers to stretch my hole. When the frosting melted in my mouth and I finished the chunk of the cake, he signalled me that he was done.
Another piece of the pound cake fills my mouth when he aligns his cock to my hole. He was right, I was fully consumed by the sweetness to notice any discomfort. I quickly swallowed the cake so he could proceed. 
It was unbearably slow as he entered. I don’t understand what all the fuss is about with people bottoming.
He kept asking for reassurance. At this point I just want him to st—
“A-ahhhh oh shiiit!” I moaned.
“Fuuuuuck, what the hell was that?” I screamed.
I must have been too loud and spooked him.
“Are you alright? Sh-should I call an ambulance?” He asked.
“No! Don’t stop, please,” I begged
“Okay, just so you know, I’m not all the way in,” He said.
How? This is already longer than any toys I’ve put in there.
“Gnghhhhh~” I moaned as he thrusts all the way to the bottom.
He kept a steady pace all the way in then almost all the way out, leaving me feeling empty.
“Hurry! Faster,” I asked, almost in tears.
He looked at me with a devious smile and thrust right into the spot.
“Mphn- Yes! Keep going,” I urged.
Every small movement rubbing my G-spot feels like masturbating for hours without release.
He thrusts quicker with more force, causing my belly and moobs to shake violently. 
I try to stabilize my belly with my hand before trying to reach my throbbing cock.
“Help, I-aghh fuck, I need to touch my dick,” I asked.
“Let go of your belly, fat boy. Or I’ll stop,” He said.
Immediately, my belly returned to wobble violently.
“I can’t believe you turned into such a pathetic horny mess in such a short time,” He said.
”Come on, Seven. I just need you to hit that spot. Please, I’ll do anything!” I begged.
He keeps deliberately missing it. I need to be fucked there!
“Keep your hands on your nipples,” he ordered.
The over-sensitive nipples drive my weeping cock into a frenzy.
Fuck, I need to touch my cock right now. If only my fucking belly is not on the way.
“You know, when I first saw you, I thought you were the kind of jock to gain a beer belly in college, and not get fat until you turn thirty,” he said, before ramming straight into my prostate.
“Fuuuuck yeahhh,” I said unintelligently. 
“You are much more of a pig than I realized,” he said, thrusting straight into it again.
“Helll yeahhh,” I said, trying to rob my ass to his dick.
“How do you feel seeing your bubble butt balloons four times the original size?” He asked, followed by another thrust. 
“I fucking love it! I love how it wobbles around whenever I walk!” I said, moving my jiggling ass back to his dick again.
“How do you feel seeing your abs growing before your eyes, knowing you could stop it if you just stop eating?”Another thrust.
“I can’t help it! I love eating too much!” Maybe I am meant to be a fat ass.
“Right answer. Now you’ll get your reward,” he said and sped up, hitting the spot perfectly every time.
I imagine his face to be someone else, someone far from my league.
My cock rubbed against my sensitive underbelly, and I shot out jets of cum for what felt like forever.
As white clouded my vision, a euphoric relief spread over my body, melting me into the mattress.
“You passing out again, fuck boy?” Seven asked.
“No, just enjoying the bliss. I can’t believe so many men in the world are missing out on this,” My hole already feels empty. How am I going to go back from this?
“Aww man, I’m all sticky and shit,” I examined my body, cum shots and rain definitely don’t mix well together. Some of them even got between the fat folds. I swipe my finger in between the fat. “Oof, I stink too.”
Seven looked at me and signed. “You’re somehow still a stupid jock inside.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“I got you the fast food you asked for,” he said.
“Yes!” I rushed to the kitchen.
Ignoring his stupid laugh, I microwaved the burger and fries.
The breeze of the air conditioning reminds me of something.
“Shit, I ran out here naked.”
When I ran back, he had already put my clothes in the dryer, and I got into the shower.
When I got out, Seven brought me an old shirt I left here. It fits me like a glove with half my belly exposed. He stopped laughing when I was about to throw myself on him, then brought out a shirt with the Flash’s symbol on. Probably from another fat ass he fucks. The shirt still looks painted on, revealing the shape of my nipple and the dent of my belly button. At least he’s driving me home.
***
Staying at home has been a life-altering experience. 
The only time I ever move is going out of the bed to the desk, or to the bathroom. All I have to do is sit back, relax, and eat some fried food. 
With more time with myself. I’ve realized how much I dislike all the people in school that only approached me because I was one of the football jocks. I could’ve been anyone. Now, I am me. Not a worry about whether or not I’m muscular enough like other jocks, just a bigger Jay.
Sitting beside me, Dad scratched his belly and released a belch without a care in the world. He has adapted to fat guy mannerisms quickly. I’m catching up too. Today is movie night, usually we have pizzas and beers. We started this when the football season came, he asked to skip it. It was the first time we’ve skipped watching a Super Bowl season. I guess I’m not the only one losing interest in the sport. We decided to watch the Lin-Manuel Miranda Monkey movie instead.
Being on the couch with Dad made me realize I was getting closer to my goal. I can’t wait to see the results.
***
“Hell yeah, my man, you can do it!” Brad said, slapping my shoulder.
“What are you doing here?” I asked
“You said I can come in whenever I like,” he replied.
He’s been breaking into my house for no reason, just to stay on the second floor the entire time doing god knows what.
“I’ve brought some beef jerky here to celebrate,” Brad said.  
The scale has been set up, we’re only waiting on Mom. They’re doing some last minute catch up; mom is using a funnel to pour some milkshake in him. I am not concerned though, sticking to Theo’s strict diet every day has not been easy. I have to eat until my stomach is fully bloated. Every morning, I watch my belly deflate a little less, every evening, it bloats even further. 
“Don’t worry, Jay. We’ve got this,” Theo assured me.
“By the way, what are we doing again?” Brad asked.
Dad came out, looking absolutely massive. With Mom on his side, he stepped on the scale.
The numbers keep going up and don't seem to be stopping.
300-350-392-400-443
Holy shit, Dad gained a hundred and forty pounds this year. 
With more uncertainty, I took my step on the scale.
“Woo-Hoo, Jay man, you got this!” Brad shouted quietly.
I try to look under to see the number, but my belly is too big for me to see the scale.
Theo stepped closer and read. 
“Four Hundred and fifty yes!” Theo cheered.
“I won? Yes, finally!” I said and did a little jump.
The scale made a “Pop” noise.
“Oh! Sorry, Mom. I know this is really expensive.”
“Don’t worry, sweetie. We need to upgrade anyway,” Mom said, then she walked towards Theo.
“Congratulations Theo, you made me pull out every trick in my book. It’s so nice seeing you improve so much in front of my eyes, in terms, you pushed me to improve too,” Mom said, then hugged Theo.
“I can’t believe my boy is bigger than me now. Excellent work, Jay!” Dad said and hugged me, too.
Last time I was bigger than Dad I had sculpted abs, the body I dreamed of. This time, I’m almost three times the size as I was, fully covered with fat. Yet, I feel less empty inside.
“Thank you Dad,” I said, hugging him back. 
After all this time, I finally have a body I like being in. The belly doesn't look so wrong on me anymore.
Chapter 4 ->
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sisterslvt · 5 months ago
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thinking about mom finding a thong that she definitely did not nor would not buy me in the laundry.
she’s furious, marches upstairs. she throws the door open while i’m sprawled out naked on the floor, two fingers deep in my pussy in front of my mirror. we both freak out, although she gains her composure much quicker. “what do you think you’re doing young lady? you’re going to explain to me exactly what you’re hoping comes out of you wearing things like this!” she holds the lingerie up for me to see. i’m so embarrassed, i manage to stutter out: “mom, can’t you see i’m busy?! g-get out.” not good enough, apparently. she grabs my hand, still dripping, and pulls me to my feet.
“while you’re in my house, you don’t make the rules. sit down, and tell me why you have these.” i shuffle over to my bed and sit down, trying to grab a pair of pants or a shirt or anything to cover myself. mom sees and snaps at me “okay, so you’re too good for clothes around strangers, but you’re embarrassed around me? give me a break. stop. tell me about these already.”
she isn’t taking no for an answer. “i, I thought they looked cute, no other reason!” her demeanor changes. she’s no longer as stern-looking. she’s almost…inquisitive? “hm, well i’ll be the judge of that. here. put them on.” “wh-what?” “you heard me. show me what they look like on you.” i hesitantly take the pair of panties from her, slide them on. god, they barely cover anything, she’s gonna kill me.
“i think you have a point. they do look really good on you. but you definitely shouldn’t be wearing them out. clearly, all you’re thinking about is sex. so here’s what’s going to happen”
i watch in shock as she stands up, unbuttons her jeans, and pulls her cock out, pulling a string of precum away
“um, uh-“ is the only thing i can manage to get out. i should be disgusted, but between being interrupted while i was touching myself, and the way her curves enrapture me, the only other reaction i have is to stare
“what, baby? this is what you wanted, isn’t it? to be fucked in a thong? lay down on the bed.”
i honestly cannot believe what’s happening. i don’t know how to react
“do what i say!”, she snaps . “you’ve been so aloof, it’s time i reminded you who’s in charge” as taken aback as i am, i don’t know what other choice i have
i do as i’m told, and lay down on my back. “that’s a start. now show me what you were doing before i came in” i hesitate for a moment, and then start to rub my clit through the lingerie. god, it feels so good.
“good girl, just like that.” my eyes follow her as she pulls off her jeans and panties, and then grabs my thighs to pull me closer to her dripping cock.
“are you wet for mommy? hm, you want mommy’s cock?” almost instinctually, i let out a breathy “yesss”
she pulls the thong to the side, once again revealing what she definitely shouldn’t be anywhere near. i don’t care anymore. i want it
her tip grazes against my soaked pussy, not quite pushing inside. “tell me how much you want it, honey. it’ll be our little secret.” fuck, she’s so mean. “so, so bad, mommy. please fuck me, i’ll do anything”
she bites her lip and sinks her cock into me, burying as deep as she can, quickly followed by her pulling back and then forward again
“you’re such a good slut for me, aren’t you? god, you’re so fucking wet, i knew you’d do whatever it took to get off” why is she able to read my thoughts like this? “mom, you feel so good, don’t stop.”
she doesn’t. even when i start to orgasm, she only fucks me harder. the ecstasy of my mom making me cum over and over reduces me to tears, moans, and the occasional “fuck fuck fuck fuck”
then i can feel it coming on, the big one. “mom, i’m…gonna cum.” “good girl, that’s what i wanted to hear” she picks up her pace, puts her thumb on my clit “cum for mommy, baby” that pushes me over the edge, i clench a fistful of sheets as a wave of bliss, the best orgasm i’ve ever had washes over me. i barely notice mom moaning louder than before, but then feel her release inside me
the warmth of her cum immediately starts to leak out of me as soon as she pulls out. before i can react to anything that just happened, she’s putting on her clothes.
“wait, mom, don’t you want to hold on a second?” “that was nice, honey, but your sister is coming over and the laundry isn’t done yet. get cleaned up and dressed”
yeah she’s treating me like her personal whore, but i’d be lying if i said i don’t like it
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mattsnight · 4 months ago
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Hot shower - Matt sturniolo
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Warnings; shower sex, use of y/n, flirting, eating out, dick sucking… tell me if i forgot anything :-)
Summary: in which y/n wants to take a shower but her hot best friend walks in.
(English is not my first language so sorry if i write something wrong💖)
NOT PROOFREAD😔
Life as a nurse can be difficult. Today i tried helping a patient with dementia. I’ve been taking care of her for around 5 months and i thought we were getting along well. I was wrong. When i walked into her room she gave me a mad look and i asked her what happened. She didn’t really give me an answer, but she did yell at me for ‘stealing her puppy’, which i didn’t. I told her she’s been in the hospital for some time and that she never even adopted a puppy. She didn’t believe me and started throwing her food at me.
My colleague Anna took over my shift and send me home.
Right now im sitting in my car, covered in whatever disgusting vegetables we serve. The only thing i can think about is a hot shower.
After a while i arrive at my house, which i share with my triplet friends Nick, Matt and Chris. I’ve known them since Highschool and we immediately became best friends. Ever since we met i’ve had a slight crush on Matt. Obviously i didn’t tell anyone since i knew they would spill it right away.
I walk into the house to be met with Chris. He looks at me confused. ‘Bad day?’ He asks. All i can do is nod before walking off to the bathroom i share with Matt. I strip out of my clothes, get my hair out of the ponytail i wore and wipe off my makeup.
The shower is hot. I wash off all the disgusting food that was thrown at me by the lady. For a moment i feel no worries… just calmness.
Matts pov;
I was busy streaming all day in my room and i need a shower so fucking bad. First i decided to clean up the extreme amount of Pepsi cans on my table.
After some time i walk into the bathroom, just to notice my best friend y/n is in there behind the curtains. She doesn’t notice me coming in. ‘Oh fuck-‘ i say.
‘Matt?’ She opens the curtain a bit. I force myself to look away, respecting her. But i can hear a chuckle escape from her mouth.
“Sorry, didn’t know you were in here…” i say as i start to walk away.
“Wait-“
I turn around to see her now fully naked in-front of me. My eyes trail over her body as she just stands there, biting her lip.
Y/n’s pov;
Before i know it Matt’s lips crash against mine. It’s passionate and enough to make me absolutely go insane. He takes off his clothes before pushing me back into the shower, making sure i don’t fall with. My back is against the cold tiles as his lips trail from my mouth down my neck.
Pathetic whimpers leave my mouth. I can’t hold back. His large hands land on my hips as he lowers the kisses.
“Please matt…”
“Please what? Can’t understand you, princess.”
“You know what i mean!”
“You’re right, but i want to hear the words come out of your mouth.”
My body reacts to that sentence immediately, feeling very needy for every bit of pleasure he can give me. I don’t want to beg for it, but i know he won’t so anything until i do.
“Please… fuck me matt…” i say, slightly embarrassed. He smirks as he buries his face between my legs. His strong arms hold me tight against the wall. The knot in my stomach is already about to explode and i just can’t hold back. My hand goes into his hair, gripping it and pulling him closer. His tongue moves against my clit, getting me closer and closer to the edge.
“Matthew… please. Please let me cum…” i whimper as he enters me with his middle finger. At first his movements are slow but he picks up the pace in no-time. Another finger is added, which sends me over the edge.
“Fu-uck…” i hiccup as i come all over his face. My eyes roll into the back of my head, letting myself enjoy the full pleasure. He smirks as he removes his fingers slowly, prolonging the orgasm. My legs tremble.
There’s a moment of silence before matt makes me sit on my knees in-front of him.
“Can you do this for me?” He asks.
“Do what exactly?” I say, teasing him back like he did to me. After all.. i can’t just be boring and suck him off immediately.
“Suck my cock, sweetheart. Let me receive the same pleasure i gave you.” He says as he pulls my face closer to his cock.
I let out a sigh before licking his slit. Moans escape his lips. It’s very rare to see him this vulnerable. Most of the time he’s the toughest guy in the room.
His hips move against my face, making his dick enter my mouth. He is fucking huge.
I gag on his cock as he thrusts into my mouth. His fingers are in my hair, slowly running through it as a sign of comfort.
“Doing so good for me… im close.” he moans.
“Cwowwmm wworr mewww.” You hum against his tip sending him over the edge. His hips stop moving as he lets go. Orgasms after orgasms fades over him. He pulls away from me, panting.
“Such a good girl for me..” he says before turning back to me.
“You want to come all over my cock?” He asks, i nod.
His dick lines up at my entrance before he slowly enters me, stretching me out. Loud moans escape both our lips as he thrusts faster. My body shakes against his.
‘Oh god baby.’ He moans.
‘Im already close!’ I yell.
He slams into me over and over again until we both fall apart against each other. It’s almost fascinating seeing how fast people can come.
After we both recover from our high we get out of the shower.
“That was so good.. thank you.” I say, smiling at him. He smiles back at me as he plants a soft kiss on my head.
We both dry ourselves and change into some comfy clothes before walking into the living room where his brothers, also my friends, are sitting. They look at us with disgust.
“Oh matt please! Please let me comee!” Chris mocks from what i moaned earlier. Embarrassment fills my face as nick and chris both die from laughter.
“Such a good girl for meeee.” Nick now mocks matt.
“Uggghhhh im so cl-“ chris says before getting cut off my Matt.
“Oh shut up guys. You’re just jealous i can get amazingly pleased and you can’t.”
I chuckle as nick and chris roll their eyes, going back to their phones. We ended up ordering some takeout before doing the same thing all over in matt’s bedroom.
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evansbby · 2 months ago
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an update from me :)
hey everyone, i know i haven’t been very active on here lately. and the reason is because a lot of things in my life have changed. i’ve been debating even sharing this but i feel like i’m in a good enough position to be okay with sharing it.
so these past two years, i had been super active on here (late 2022- early 24) and that was because, well, I didn’t really have anything else. that’s because I had graduated in 2022 and then i just couldn’t find a job in my field. like so many other recent graduates, it was just so hard and tough and it really made me lose all faith in myself.
i found myself to be in the worst mental state i had ever been. I cut myself off from my friends, felt like a burden towards my family, was having meltdowns and panic attacks almost daily, even started eating unhealthily and was just overall in a very bad place.
HOWEVER, i always felt like I could come on tumblr and that’s why i was so active and writing all these stories because honestly, they were almost like a crutch to me. like the ONE thing i had to look forward to in life during those times was the feedback I’d get when i posted a fic, and honestly it’s what kept me going. like i swear to god, on some days this blog and community was the only thing that i had to look forward to and keep me going, and writing felt like such a huge escape.
because i felt so USELESS. like i was wasting my life and not making any money or being able to kickstart my career after uni, and that it would be like this forever, so when I was writing it actually felt like I was doing something with a purpose. honestly on some days I would literally wake up early and go sit in Starbucks all day just writing my fics like i was cosplaying working or something just so I’d have a purpose. (I don’t go to Starbucks anymore lol boycott)
anyways, i never shared this on tumblr these past few years bc you guys don’t understand what a failure i felt like. i would sometimes get asks on here asking what i did for a job and I’d feel so embarrassed of my current state of being unable to find a job when it felt like everyone else who had graduated with me had one and obtained one so easily. like i felt ASHAMED.
i remember once i got an ask asking what my job was and I just said “fashion marketing” bc that was one of the things i wanted to do and id done an internship in that field so i just put that but it was a LIE i was unemployed and the most depressed ive been in my whole life but I thought maybe i could manifest it.
ANYWAYS, and you’ve probably already guessed it, but the reason I’m not so active anymore is because I did eventually find a job. a really good one that I’m enjoying so much and I’m so happy at. Finally, I’m feeling like myself again, like I’m living that life in London as a twenty something that I’d see everyone on tiktok living!! Like I’m finally just having fun, going out with friends, being active, having money to spend on fun things etc.
and it feels so surreal and crazy because when i was depressed and jobless, it made me doubt myself so much. Like the constant rejections and failed interviews made me doubt myself and lowered my self esteem so much and I thought I’d NEVER achieve this life that i have now! And I don’t want to jinx it but I literally thank God every day for finally granting me this because I really feel like I would’ve gotten worse and worse and IDEK.
But back to the main point, and so because of my new job I just don’t have that much time for tumblr anymore. But this isn’t a goodbye post… not at all! I find that when I’m super busy in life is also when I get the most motivated to write! Like for example in summer 2022 I was on here so much and that was the summer I had the most fun, was the most busy. I think when I’m busy in life, I get motivated to write.
Which I believe is the case right now, because I’m SO motivated to complete all my stories, I keep thinking about them and writing them slowly, so please don’t think anything is abandoned! I just wanted to make this post to be more transparent about what’s been going on in my life and what had been going on these past two years. That maybe someone else going through something similar can see that eventually, everything does work out.
Anddd I don’t really know how to end this. I just want to say, yall don’t understand just how thankful I am for having this blog, this platform, to write my stories. For having you guys. Because who knows how much worse my mental state would’ve been these past two years when I didn’t have ANYTHING else going for me, if I hadn’t had this blog it would’ve been so much worse.
Thank you so much for believing in me and enjoying my stories and always always letting me know how much you enjoy them. And I’ll say the truth; I know everyone says that engagement on tumblr has been bad lately but I can say that bc of you guys I have literally never EVER had this issue. And that’s not me being big headed, that’s just the truth and it makes me so happy and grateful. Yall always came through for me and still do now! Every time I think my fic is going to flop, you guys come through for me. I appreciate it so much. You guys have no idea how much you helped me when I was at my lowest. And continue to.
Many thanks
Me 🩷🩷🫶🏼🫶🏼
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fanfictionismyaddiction · 10 days ago
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Running to You
Word count: 725
Pairing: Lando Norris x reader
Summary: In the midst of a bustling paddock, Y/n, Lando’s biggest supporter, cheers him on with boundless pride, proving that to her, he’s already a champion—no matter the results.
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When Lando’s lap time solidified on the board, Y/n’s heart practically exploded with pride. She didn’t care that this was just qualifying — every single session felt monumental because she saw the effort he put in every day. With a laugh that was half a cry, she sprinted toward him, pushing through the paddock crowd until she was within arm’s reach.
“Lando!” she shouted, her voice trembling with excitement. He turned at the sound, and his face softened immediately as he saw her coming, a grin spreading across his face. Y/n didn’t slow down; she flung herself into his arms, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck as he caught her effortlessly, pulling her close with a warm laugh.
“Oh my God, Lando, you were amazing!” she cried, her voice full of tears as she clung to him. “I’m so, so proud of you.”
He chuckled, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he cradled her against him. “Hey, it’s just quali, love,” he murmured softly, but his eyes shone with happiness.
“To me, it’s everything,” she replied, pulling back just enough to look into his eyes. Her hands gently cupped his face, and she spoke so only he could hear. “You’re my champion, Lando. Every single lap, every single session, you give your all, and it’s incredible. I don’t need a title to know how amazing you are.”
He gazed at her, speechless for a moment, his eyes glistening with the emotion he didn’t often let himself show. “You make all of this worth it, you know,” he whispered, his voice rough. “Having you here… it’s like having my own little victory every day.”
Y/n’s eyes filled with happy tears, and she was about to reply when she heard a familiar voice call out, breaking into their little bubble.
“Oi, Lando, is your girlfriend crying for you or for your time?” George Russell teased, grinning from a few feet away, arms crossed as he watched them. Around him, a few other drivers had started to gather, each one of them wearing that familiar, playful grin that made Y/n roll her eyes.
She turned, standing a bit taller as she faced them, holding tightly onto Lando’s hand. “Oh, please,” she called out, waving them off. “As if any of you could pull off a lap like that!”
Pierre Gasly chuckled, feigning hurt as he nudged George. “Hey, I put in a pretty decent lap myself!”
“Sure, Pierre, but where’s your biggest fan?” Y/n teased right back, raising an eyebrow. “Unless you’ve got someone who’d sprint across the paddock to scream for you?”
The drivers all laughed, exchanging looks with each other, but Y/n could tell they knew they’d lost this one. Yuki Tsunoda raised his hands in mock surrender, grinning. “Alright, alright. We get it. Lando’s got a personal cheerleader, and the rest of us just have to live with that.”
Y/n grinned, crossing her arms as she leaned into Lando, who was laughing, his face red with both pride and embarrassment. “Exactly,” she replied with a smirk. “And I’ll be cheering louder than any of you guys can handle, so get used to it.”
Carlos Sainz gave a playful shrug, laughing. “Guess we know who’s winning the fan section today.”
As the drivers moved on, still chuckling and throwing each other good-natured teasing glances, Y/n turned back to Lando, feeling the world around them melt away again. She looked up at him, her hands moving to rest on his chest as she took a breath, her smile softening. “They can tease all they want,” she murmured. “But no one will ever understand how proud I am of you.”
He placed his hand over hers, his gaze tender as he looked down at her. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand how I got so lucky,” he whispered, his voice breaking slightly. “I just know that having you here… it makes me feel like I’ve already won.”
Y/n felt her cheeks heat up, and she bit her lip to keep her emotions in check. “Well, get used to it,” she replied softly, brushing a hand across his cheek. “I’m always going to be here, cheering for you. In every race, every qualifying, every single lap… you’re my champion, Lando.”
“Good,” he whispered, a soft smile playing on his lips. “Because I’m never letting you go.”
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0310s · 5 months ago
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best friend, experienced fwb! leehan x virgin, inexperienced! reader
(continuation of preview one)
warnings: nsfw talk, no explicit scenes
wc: 1.5k
a/n: preview two is here! the smut will be reserved for the actual fic <3 let me know your thoughts so far!!
𓉞⋆。˚☁︎。⋆
You’re both seated across your plush floor carpet, your backs leaning against the side of your bed. “So…” you gulp nervously, looking anywhere except for Leehan, whose eyes you can feel are trained on you. You concentrate your attention straight ahead on your shelf—specifically, the fluffy alien plushie your best friend gifted you on your birthday. You've named the lil guy Leehan in your head, although you've sworn yourself to secrecy (and utter embarrassment if the real Leehan were to find out). Leehan (the plushie) has been there during your worst breakdowns and has served as a source of comfort whenever you're stressed. “Where do we start?” You’re rapidly losing the feigned confidence you mustered minutes before Leehan came in.
“Well, you could start by looking at me,” Leehan lets out a small laugh. “And maybe moving closer to me… don’t you think you’re a little too far away?” You then notice the awkward distance between the both of you, practically enough to squeeze in two more people, so you scoot over, leaving a bit of space between you. Definitely farther than usual—you’re both usually comfortably pressed up against each other on most days. Although that ease of physical contact was platonic in nature; you’re not so sure about now. You then find the courage to turn and face him.
Leehan’s eyes curve into relieved crescents. He’s got his chin propped up on his hand as he tilts his head to look at you. “Hi.” He smells comforting, his perfume woody and pleasant. A cuddle session with him would honestly fix you… wait, stop that, brain! These thoughts of yours need to stop; they’re veering towards very dangerous territory.
“Hi.” Your throat is dry and your voice comes out scratchy. You clear your throat in embarrassment, trying again. “Hi, Leehan.” 
Leehan lets out a huff at your awkwardness, still faintly smiling. “How are you? You still up for this?”
Collecting your thoughts, you remain silent for a while. “Honestly? Nervous.” At Leehan’s encouraging nod, you open up. “Okay, well. I’m scared. I’ve never done this before. And I’m also just really self-conscious. I’m already overthinking now, who knows how much more of that I’ll be doing when we… you know…” Your face burns. “I also don’t find myself particularly attractive, you know? I’m just plain old me. Sure, maybe at the very most, I’m cute. But not enough for people to stop and think, wow, they’re really pretty, I have a crush on them. And I’ve never been on the receiving end of sexual or romantic attention. So I… sorry, Leehan, I don’t know where I’m going with this,” you trail off, but Leehan places a warm hand atop your own, which you’re gripping your thigh with.
“Listen,” Leehan begins, “I think everyone experiences a certain amount of self-consciousness when they have sex. After all, they’re allowing themselves to be vulnerable in front of someone else, which is a challenge even outside a sexual context. For me at least, it’s worth experiencing that self-consciousness first to be able to experience that intimacy and connection with your partner.” You nod pensively at what he’s saying. “And I think you’re really understating yourself. If you’ve only known how many guys and girls have asked me if you were single…”
You pause at that information. “Wait, seriously? You’ve never told me about this! I don’t know, maybe you were mistaken…”
“Come on, when have I ever lied to you about anything?” Leehan counters. “I didn’t say anything because I never assumed you were interested in anything romantic back then. You never seemed interested in anyone else, and you never told me anything. So I assume you didn’t really have any crushes…?”
“Well, yeah, I guess,” you shrug. “I found people pretty or handsome, but just from an aesthetic standpoint? It never really got to the point that I wanted to act on it… so not a crush.” Still, a flash of insecurity strikes you. “Okay, I know this is about me, but… are you sure you want to do this? It doesn’t really matter if other people find me attractive…”  If you don’t, you were about to say. You’re unable to finish your sentence because of how… misleading it sounds in your head. “I mean,” you correct yourself, “It would be weird and awkward if I was the only one getting anything out of this. I don’t think you’d be, um, turned on in any way.” You find your gaze fixating on the Leehan (the plushie) once again, unable to make eye contact with your (very real) best friend.
“Don’t worry, I will be. Turned on, that is,” you hear from beside you, and you can’t help but turn. Leehan’s ears are red, and he’s glancing at you almost sheepishly. “I hope you know that… you’re really pretty. Anyone with eyes can see that.” Oh. Um. Okay. Oh… Wow. Hearing that from Leehan himself, who is the embodiment of beauty, makes you positively flustered, but you don’t want to think about why exactly that’s so. 
“I…” You don’t know what to say without sounding stupid. “Okay.”
“Okay,” Leehan echoes. “I mean, is that okay with you? That I think that way?” What way, you want to scream, but you’re terrified of overcomplicating things right now. 
“Um. Yes, I guess… I mean, coming from someone as handsome as you, it’s nice to hear,” you admit. You hoped that was a normal enough response (as normal as it could get in your extremely abnormal situation, anyway). And then you risk another glimpse at Leehan—he’s blushing and trying to hide a shy smile, for the love of God. His dimples are so lovely. Do not overthink this, please, for your own sanity!!!
“So…” you attempt to change the subject, but end up making yourself feel even worse. “You’re right, about the self-consciousness thing. Maybe I need to try it out to know how exactly I feel about… intimate stuff… and see if it’s something I really want. But. I don’t know. Could you tell me if you’re not attracted to me or something when you see my body? Before we actually get into anything?” You sound utterly pathetic, and you duck your head down.
“(Y/n)... look at me,” Leehan urges. A gentle hand on your shoulder turns you towards him, and you’re scared to see what expression he’s making. “You’re already beautiful the way you are, with all your imperfections—not despite. I promise you, there’s nothing about you that would make me think you’re unattractive.” His eyes are kind and his touch a comforting weight. You desperately want to believe him.  
“Okay,” you utter. 
“Okay?” Leehan repeats, and you nod slowly. “We can stop at any time you’re uncomfortable. But we don’t even have to at all, if that’s what you want. Sex isn’t something everyone has to do, and there’s really more to relationships than sex. Do you need more time to think over this? We can just hang out now like we always do,” he says, but you have your answer already.
“Leehan, I want to do this. I’m going to be scared and nervous, but I know I’ll be safe with you. And I want to do this with you. There’s no one else I could trust myself more with.” At that, you lean over and wrap your arms around him. You can tell Leehan is momentarily startled, but he settles into the hug, encircling you with his own arms. His palms against your back are gentle and warm. You take a deep breath, melting into the comfort of his embrace.
After a minute or so, you withdraw from his arms. “So Leehan… what do we do now?”
“What do you want to do? It’s your call,” Leehan whispers. 
“I’m honestly not sure? Could you, I don’t know, suggest something and I’ll let you know if it’s something I want?”
“How about… kissing?” Leehan suggests. “It’s simple but a nice way to start.“
“Oh. Well… Uh… I don’t know how to say this, but…” Your hands grow sweaty. “Uh…”
After a few moments of silence, Leehan’s eyes widen in realization. “You’ve never kissed anyone before?” You can feel your face heating up as you nod. “So technically, I’d be your first?” You nod again, albeit slower this time. Then you feel a sudden, unidentifiable, shift in the air as Leehan softly cradles your cheek with his palm. His eyes are dark with desire, and your breath is stolen from you at the awareness that you have the entirety of his attention focused on you. “Tell me you’re okay with me being your first.” He patiently waits for your answer, eyes locked on you. 
You feel the weight of your need to be as close as possible to him. You can feel your heart beating out of your chest. You want to say yes. Yes to Leehan and everything he wants to give you. “I… Yes. Please, Leehan.”
And then he's kissing you.
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bucks-babe · 7 months ago
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I’ve been here before lol. I just had to let you know, your virgin Bucky stories live rent free in my head. I hope one day to see him become… not a virgin 👀 if you feel like writing it of course ❤️
Pairing: Virgin!Bucky x f!reader
Warnings: fluff, smut, loss of virginity, slightly sub Bucky, soft!dom reader, riding, multiple orgasms (both), overstimulation, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex (Don’t do that), copious amounts of cum, like so much, Bucky has a big dick, cumming untouched, cumming in boxers, ball riding (I know, there’s something wrong with me), crying during sex (Bucky this time, not reader lol), crying after sex, aftercare, Bucky is so sweet, taking care of Bucky, washing Bucky’s hair (This is a warning), my limited ass vocabulary (It’s a warning), actual brain rot, no use of Y/N, check tags at the bottom
Word Count: 3.6k
A/N: This has been in the works for so long but I took so damn long to finish it. I would have never guessed that so many of yall would be so invested in this story and Bucky’s journey. This is not the last you will see of these two, don’t worry. I think we should give them each a nickname. Leave a comment on what each of their names should be. Legit just had them call each other baby this entire fic. If I end up giving them nicknames, I’ll go back and put them in for all their stories. Anyway, enjoy!
As you slowly open your eyes, feeling the warmth and comfort of Bucky's embrace, a sense of safety washes over you. His strong arms are wrapped tightly around you. As you turn to face him, you see that Bucky is already awake, his deep blue eyes gazing at you with adoration and love. You can feel the rhythm of his breathing, steady and soothing against your skin. In this moment, nothing else matters except for the love and contentment you feel in each other's arms
"Good morning," he whispers, his voice husky with sleep. The sunlight filters through the window, casting a gentle glow upon his face, accentuating the lines of worry etched there.
With a small smile, you shift closer to him, reveling in the intimacy of the moment. "Good morning," you reply softly, tracing circles on his chest.
Bucky's fingers instinctively tighten around you, as if afraid to let go. "Last night... I didn't mean to let go like that" he admits shyly, his cheeks flushing a rosy hue. "I didn't know I was into that." Bucky felt embarrassed, not being used to letting go and having someone else take care of him. It was such a foreign feeling, yet he loved it, being able to trust someone completely, trusting you more than he does himself. Your heart swells at his vulnerability.
"Oh Bucky, it's okay. I liked it, I liked taking care of you. There's nothing to be ashamed about."
Bucky's eyes soften, relief flooding his features as he takes in your words. "You liked it?" he asks, his voice tinged with both surprise and hope.
A gentle nod escapes you, your fingers continuing their soothing motion on his chest. "Yes, Bucky. I enjoyed every moment of it," you reassure him, your voice filled with sincerity.
He exhales a breath he didn't realize he was holding, a weight lifting off his shoulders. "I've never let myself be vulnerable like that before," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm scared of losing control."
A tender smile graces your lips as you cup his cheek, caressing it with your thumb. "Bucky, being vulnerable doesn't mean losing control. It means trusting someone enough to let them in, to share yourself completely." Your words carry the weight of understanding and acceptance.
He gazes at you, his blue eyes reflecting a mixture of desire and hesitation. "I don't want to disappoint you, you know? You've been with experienced men before who knew how to pleasure you. I'm not sure if I can do the same for you." The poor thing was terrified of letting you down. He loves you so much, but what if he can’t please you? Would you leave him for someone better? How many people would even want to be with a man who knows almost nothing about pleasing a woman? 
Your hand reaches out to cup Bucky's cheek, your thumb brushing across his rough stubble. His skin is warm and soft under your touch. As you sit up, your hand still resting on Bucky's chest, feeling the faster beat of his heart under your palm. His skin is warm and smooth against your fingertips, a reassuring and comforting touch.
"Last night you gave me the most intense orgasm I've ever experienced with a man. Those other men? They think that one trick that worked on one woman will work on every woman. But you, my love? You listened to me and my body, which is more than most men can say."
Your voice softens as you look into Bucky's eyes, seeing the raw emotion and vulnerability that lies within them. "Bucky, I don't want to give you the impression that you're not enough. You were amazing last night, and I’m glad that you trust me enough to share that part of yourself."
His eyes soften, a look of gratitude and relief washing over him. He leans in to kiss your forehead, his hand brushing against your cheek, his thumb tracing the outline of your lips. "Thank you," he whispers, the words feeling like a heavy weight finally lifting off his shoulders. He takes a deep breath, and you can see a newfound confidence and determination in his eyes. "I want to learn, to be better for you. To make you feel the way you felt last night, every time."
A smile tug at the corner of your lips as you lean in to kiss him gently. "I believe in you, Bucky. And I know that you'll learn and grow, just like you did last night. And I’ll be right there to show you how." With a reassuring nod, Bucky pulls you into a deep and passionate kiss, his hands cradling your face. The warmth of his touch sends a shiver down your spine.
Slowly, he pulls away from the kiss, leaving behind a trail of electric energy on your lips. "I want to make love to you today," he whispers. "I want to give you everything I have, and show you just how much I care." Your heart swells with love for the man who would give you anything.
“Are you sure, Bucky? We don’t have to do anything that you don’t feel comfortable doing. I’m perfectly fine waiting for you, however long it takes.” You cup his face, staring into his eyes, seeing determination yet anxiety in his eyes. He wants to do this, have you be his first and only, he’s sure of it.
“Yes. I want more, I want everything with you. Last night, making you feel good, it sparked something in me. I want to do it again. Fuck, you looked so sexy when you came.” Just at the thought of the taste of your pussy and the image of you writhing on the bed in pleasure makes his cock throb, filling with blood. The feel of your naked breasts pressed against him is doing nothing to stop it either.
“If you’re sure, baby, we will. You want to follow my lead or experiment by yourself?” The thought of you trusting him enough to let him do whatever he wants to your body makes him whine, bucking his hip into your bare core, the boxers doing little to hinder the feeling on his sensitive dick.
“Want to follow you, please.” As you take the covers of the pair of you, Bucky’s eyes go right to your tits, hands moving on their own accord to cup them. You’re proud that he was comfortable enough to touch you without hesitancy. 
You roll onto your back, Bucky following without a second thought, hands still on you, Bucky sits on his knees, admiring the view of your spread pussy. “I want you to finger me. You remember how, baby?” Of course Bucky remembers how, he remembers how much it made you moan and wiggle on the bed, how you were clenching on them when you came, how fucking tight you got. Bucky nods, right hand moving to your pussy. He needs to use his right hand, needs to feel how wet and tight you are. 
Thumb moving to your slit, he gathers the wetness that has been pooling there since you felt his hard cock through his boxers and drags it up to your clit, rubbing it just the way you taught him, the small gasp that leaves your lips lets him know he’s doing it right. His eyes can’t leave your pussy, memorized by the wetness leaving it. He trails his middle and ring finger down and slowly enters you, cock somehow getting even harder at your feel.
His metal hand comes down to rub your clit as his fingers speed up, wanting you to cum so fucking bad. “Just like that, baby. You’re doing so fucking well. Making me feel so good.” Bucky can feel his heavy balls pulling up, cum about to burst from his cock, hips thrusting in the air, meeting nothing. Heat creeps up his cheeks, he knows he’s going to cum before you without even touching anything. He wants so fucking bad to jerk his cock, coaxing his huge load out, but he can’t leave your pussy.
You clench tights around him, your orgasm building up as well. Bucky can’t handle it, the way your head hits the pillows, eyes closed in pleasure, moans getting higher in pitch. Within seconds, Bucky’s cock bursts, cum pouring from his tip, immediately soaking the front of his boxers, leaking down until it lands on the bed, his moans louder than yours. At the sound of his pleasure you cum, clit twitching under his fingers, waves upon waves passing through you. 
As you come down from your orgasm, you realize that Bucky is still cumming. “Baby, why won’t it stoppp, fuckk, please, feels so fucking good, shitt, please.”At his words the last of him cum dribbles out. The sight of his flushed cheeks and the soaking wet boxers almost makes you cum again. Sitting up, you push Bucky off the bed until he stands, taking off his underwear and pulling him back onto the bed, laying him down.
“You still want to do anything else, baby?” You desperately want to have his cock inside of you, have him cumming that much in your pussy, letting it leak out all over his balls down to the bed, but if he doesn’t want to go any further you’ll stop, no questions asked.
“Oh fuck yes! Want you to ride me please.” The whole of his sentence comes out as a moan, cock still sensitive and hard, ready for you to take it however you please. Straddling him, you grab him lining him up with your pussy. You look at him and at his nod, you start to sit on him. As soon as the tip breaches you, he cums, and he cums hard. “OH SHIT! FUCK, YES! FUCK I’M CUMMING!” He’s practically screaming, but he can’t find it in himself to care, the most intense orgasm of his life coursing through him. 
Hands flying to your hips, he pulls you all the way down, bucking into you with so much force you have to grab the headboard. “ OH FUCKING SHIT!  DON’T FUCKING STOP! DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!” It’s not like you could even if you tried, only option to take his assault, and fuck if it doesn’t feel amazing. Your moans almost match his in volume, pussy still trying to adjust to the size of him, balls slapping against your ass. After a few seconds, you already feel his cum being forced out of you to make room for his cock. His cum now all over both of your sexes, his balls, your ass, and the bed.
His orgasm lasts minutes, the amount of cum leaving his cock never slowing down, hips never stop slamming into yours. During his orgasm, you cum too, the sight was so hot you couldn’t help yourself. When your pussy was clenching around him so tight he somehow got louder. Eventually, he orgasm abated and his hips stopped, laying limb on the bed. 
Shame washed over him, at how much he lost himself to his orgasm, how rough he was with you. “I’m so sorry, baby. Please tell me you’re okay. Please tell me I didn’t hurt you.” 
“Fuck, Bucky, that was the hottest thing I’ve ever fucking seen.” Bucky’s eyes widen, not expecting you to be so turned on by his orgasm. His cock was still rock hard inside of you, giving you an idea. “What position do you want to do next?” Bucky almost cums again at those words, he knows what he wants, but is almost embarrassed to ask. However, his cock is thinking for him, washing away his inhibitions.
“Can you ride me?” You just smile and start to pick up your hips but he stops you. “From the back.” You throb at that. He wants to watch your ass bounce on him. 
You pull off, hissing at the empty feeling and turn around. You grab his cum soaked balls and you feel them twitch in your palm. Pulling them up you turn your head to Bucky. “Do me a favor and close your legs for me.” He doesn’t ask a single question and does so immediately. You let his balls fall on top of his legs and put his cock right back in, not waiting a second to start bouncing, grinding your clit on his slick balls at the end of every bounce.
“Oh, fuck. How does your ass move like that, shit. Looks so sexy.” His hands ghost over your cheeks, not knowing what to do with the sight in front of him.
“Smack my ass, baby.” He groans, and lays a light slap to your right cheek. “Harder, Bucky. Leave your mark on me.” His Oh shit is ignored as he slaps you a little harder, still not hard enough, cock pulsing at the sight of your ass bouncing, feeling it move under his hands. “Don’t be a little pussy, baby. Give it a slap like a fucking man.” Maybe it was a little mean, but you needed to feel his hand coming down on you. His near constant moans get louder, clearing enjoying the degradation. The next slap is hard. “Yes, little harder, baby. Fuck! Just like that, keep going. Don’t stop, want your handprints all week.”
He keeps going, smacking you harder each time. His balls rubbing on your clit pull up and he cums once again. This time, though, he pulls out, jerking his cock, cumming all over your ass. “Fucking shit! Wanted me to mark your fucking ass? Well I’m fucking doing it. Cumming so much. Maybe I’ll just stick my dick in your ass and cum in there too.” You don’t know where that came from, but it makes you ride his balls faster, ass jiggling as he continues to cum on it. “That’s so fucking hot, keeping moving that fat ass on me.” You really don’t know where his dirty mouth is coming from but you don’t care because holy hell is it hot.
 Seconds later, Bucky can’t take it anymore and shoves his cock back in your pussy, spreading his legs back out and planting them on the bed so he can fuck up into you. With your ass moving so much with his thrusts, his cum is going everywhere. Bucky lands a hard slap to your cheeks, smacking his cum into them, spreading it all around.
Just like before, he cums for minutes, cum flowing out of your pussy. The entire of both of your hips and your ass and the bed is completely drenched with his cum. When he’s done he pulls you off his cock and spins you around so you’re facing him again. “Baby, my cock is still so fucking hard, I don’t know what to do.” You coo at him, setting your hand against his cheek.
“Don’t worry, baby, I got you.” Instead of slipping his cock back into you, you grind against it, with every roll of your hips his sensitive tip rubs your clit. “Does this feel good, baby?”
“Uh huh, so good.” You see his adam's apple bob and his bottom lip wobble. The feral part of his brain that was fucking you earlier is gone, now your sweet boyfriend is left. He’s not even looking at the way his tip pops out between your folds, no, he’s staring right into your eyes. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you against him, every part of your body touching his in some way.
You rest your forehead against his and meet his gaze, tears spilling over and running down the sides of his face. You gently wipe them away but they keep coming. One of his hands goes in between your bodies pushing his cock back inside its home, your warm walls enveloping every inch, both of you gasping. Bucky can’t decide if he wants to keep going or stop, a twinge of pain biting its way up his cock, but you just feel too good. He can’t leave your pussy, needing to cum one last time. The slow grind of your hips never speeds up, gently fucking him, no, making love to him.
Bucky tries to kiss you but the pleasure you’re giving leaves him putty in your hands. The kiss is sloppy and wet, but one of the best kisses you’ve ever had, feeling the words neither of you can get out at the moment. The hairs at the base of his cock rub your clit, building up your final orgasm, Bucky not long behind, trying to hold out for you.
“You’re okay, baby. Want you to cum for me, not far behind.” Any restraint left in Bucky’s body disappears, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he cums for the last time.
“Fuckkk, baby, love you so much, please, I need you to cum for me. Need it so bad.” The slow roll of his tears before shifts to full on sobs, pleasure too much. You pull yourself off his cock, knowing that it’s now too much for him. “No, no, I need you to cum, please.” Your hand trails down your body, fingers rubbing your clit, the sight of you makes Bucky whine, and pull you down into a kiss, where you cum, moaning into his mouth. 
You roll the both of you over, placing Bucky’s head on your chest, lightly scratching his scalp, tracing shapes on his back with your other hand. When his tears subside, Bucky is the first to speak. “Thank you for taking care of me.” 
You feel a lump form in your throat. Of course you would always take care of him. There is nothing that you wouldn’t do for him. “I love you so much, Bucky. I could never hurt you, only want to give you the best in life. After all you’ve done for me, it’s the least I could do.” Bucky doesn’t say anything after that, not knowing what to say, not being used to such unbridled love. 
A few minutes pass before the amount of cum and sweat surrounding you gets uncomfortable. “Come on, baby, lets get cleaned up.” Bucky whines but complies anyway. “Get the shower started for me? I’ll change the bed.” He nods and heads to the shower. You work as fast as you can to get the sheets off and a fresh set on. Still naked you run to the washroom and throw the soiled sheets in the wash and start it before running back to the bathroom. 
Bucky is waiting outside of the shower for you, eyes still red from crying, almost shying away from you. Grabbing his hand you lead him into the hot water. “You did so good for me, Bucky. Made me feel incredible. You know, if that was your first time, I’m going to need help from the gods to handle you when you practice more.” That gets a small smile from him. “Don’t get all bashful on me, big man, after you rocked my world back there.”
“Stop it, baby.” His words hold no heat to them, secretly loving your complements. “You did too, rocked my world, you know? Didn’t know it could feel that good. There isn’t anyone else I would rather do that with.” He’s going to make you cry one of these days, saying all this sweet shit to you, and you know he means every single word of it.
“Yeah? How do you feel? Feel okay? I know that was a lot for you.” He dips his head down when you reach for his shampoo, letting you wash his hair, then grabbing the soap and lathering the wash cloth, running it along his body. At the feeling of your soft hands on his body, taking care of him after he gave himself over to you, Bucky can’t respond, too caught up in your love. “Bucky?” Your hands stop, fearing the worst at his silence.
“Feel so good, baby. I…” Bucky chokes up, tears resurfacing. He doesn’t know why he’s crying. You pull him to you, hugging him until he stops. “Sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I just, you make me feel so safe, I can’t control myself, I just feel, you know?” You know because he makes you feel the same way.
“Yeah, I do, baby, I do.” 
“Can I wash you?” After you took care of him, Bucky wants to do the same for you, never wanting you to feel like he was using you. You nod and Bucky takes extra care to get all of his cum off of you, cleaning you up just like you did to him. By the time you’re done in the shower, the water’s cold. Bucky takes a towel and wraps you up first. Before he can reach for his, you take it and dry him off. 
“What do you want to do now? We can cuddle, get something to eat, watch a movie, whatever you want.” You know how important aftercare is, especially when Bucky was feeling so vulnerable after his first time. 
“Can we just cuddle?” He looks almost scared to ask you for such a simple gesture.
“Of course we can.” Taking your hand, Bucky leads you to the bed, foregoing clothes. You pull the blankets up and let him rest his head on your chest, listening to the beat of your heart and steady breathing. Not too long after you hear his light snoring and know he’s asleep, you following soon after in the arms of the love of your life, excited to experience all of Bucky’s firsts with him, seeing him grow, not only in experience, but also confidence.
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devil-in-hiding · 27 days ago
Note
I'm having a real bad day... Feels like I'm losing my grasp on literally everything; mentally, financially, emotionally, with my family, etc... Just want you to know that reading through your fics gives me just enough of an escape to get through the day... So, thanks for existing. <3 If you have any 141 x female reader fluff/comfort bouncing around in your head I'd love to read it. 🥺
(I genuinely hope things start to look up for you babe and that your day gets better, it’s still early 🫶🏻. I understand that feeling all too well and it can be overwhelming and overstimulating because your brain is sending panic signals every other second, i’m sending you big hugs)
how about some soft 141 x assistant reader? *doesn’t look at my price x emotional!reader everyone has screamed at for more*
The day had already started terribly, it was a downpour outside, and your car had refused to start that morning. Some jackass didn’t have the decency to slow down, soaking you more on your mad dash towards the base. Your foot slipped off the curb more than once and your ankle was throbbing as you limped your way towards John’s office, defeated and embarrassed.
You would have laughed at the shocked faces, and Ghost’s wide eyes, if it weren’t for your chattering teeth and tears blurring your vision.
“I-I’m s-sorry I’m l-late sir, my car-“
“Bloody hell woman why didn’t you call me?” John grouses, standing from his desk as he sends the boys running with a flick of his wrist. “Towels!”
“Aye!”
“On it Cap!”
Gaz and Soap make a mad dash down the corridor, and Ghost hovers next to you. “How’d you like your tea this mornin’ lovie?” He asks, voice gentle and you feel your lip tremble. “Just anything hot. Thank you Lieutenant.”
He just nods, striding out the door and towards the rec room, and when you turn back around, John is rummaging in one of his drawers. “You should have called my pretty. I would have come and picked you up myself. Walkin’ in the rain like that, what were you thinking?” It’s an affectionate scolding as he takes a shirt and pajama pants (how long had those been there? That damn man was he sleeping in his office again?)
“Here ya are lass, let’s get ye cleaned up.” Soap announces, wrapping a towel around your shoulders as Gaz turns you around, grinning as he places a towel on your head, gently drying your hair.
“Little wet rat.” He snickers, and you gasp, slapping his chest as you cross your arms.
“Arse, how could you say that after I’ve had such an awful morning?” You pout, and he chuckles. “Got that sad look out your eye didn’t I?”
“Oh very cheeky Garrick.” You glare, but there’s a smile tugging at your lips.
“Bleedin’ Jesus hen, what happened to ye ankle?” Soap grunts, crouching down and you wince when he pokes the tender skin around your ankle bone.
“I must have rolled it-“
“You are never walkin’ ‘ere in the bloody rain again, understand?” Ghost states as he reenters the office, mug in hand.
He’s ushering you off your feet in seconds, herding you towards Price’s couch, laying out a towel he plucked from the pile before easing you down.
It was a funny sight, four large, highly trained military men, crouching around you as they inspected your ankle. “Gonna have to cut it.” Price says solemnly, and you choke back a snort as you giggle, covering your mouth at the somber nod the other three give.
“Aye, not much to do about a rolled ankle lass. Desperate times an all.”
“You all are idiots.” You laugh, shaking your head at the pleased looks that spread across their faces.
“There she is.”
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sparkleofpizza · 6 days ago
Text
The Alchemy
Lando Norris x fem!reader
The beginning.
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THE 2019 SEASON
Melbourne, Australia, 2019
I was nervous, I knew you shouldn't be, but I was.
The sun was shining bright down at the Melbourne Circuit, you could hear the delighted conversations from fans just outside of the motorhome. Everyone was excited for the upcoming season of Formula 1, with new drivers and grid line up changes. And I was one of the new faces at the paddock, although not a driver.
I’ve been no stranger to this whole life at the paddock and following Formula 1. I grew up with it as I’d follow my father around since the moment i learned how to walk.
Jenson Button, former Formula 1 driver and world champion. I carried my last name with pride, I love my dad more than anything in the world, but the moment I showed genuine interest in the motorsport world people started to talk.
So now, I can't help but wonder, what is everyone going to say the minute you walk into the paddock as not a guest, but as a McLaren intern.
Sure, I will be the first to admit that having the Button last name did help I get this internship, but I conclude the training to be here on your effort, with my intelligence, my studies and everything I prepared myself for.
I knew working at the PR department didn't come easy in the motorsport world, I not only had to deal with PR, reporters, FIA, and the drivers, but you had to understand the dynamic of the sport, of the car, and everything else in case I needed to step up to give a statement on behalf of a driver or the team.
I spent countless days, in 2018, going over the FIA regulations, learning about the cars, all while taking classes in UNI and juggling the McLaren PR training.
Someone called out my name in a soothing manner. I lifted your head, meeting Sophie's smile. Behind her there were two men, one standing tall and proud and the other a bit more awkwardly. I knew very well who they were as I will be working close to them.
"Hi, Sophie." I smile at her "Would you like to join me for coffee?"
She nods, taking a sit across from me and gesturing the two men to do the same.
"I wanted to introduce you three properly since you'll be working close together." She says "These are our 2019 drivers, Carlos Sainz and Lando Norris. This is Y/n, she is our new PR intern."
I smile at both of them.
“It’s nice to finally meet you both.”
Carlos smiles “Likewise, I hope we get along well, the three newbies of McLaren.”
I laugh at his little joke and Lando follows suit with his own laughter that is a bit too contagious.
He seems a bit shy, maybe it’s because it’s his first season in Formula 1 and he feels like he has a lot to prove. In a sense I relate to him. We’re both here to show we’re good and deserve to be here.
And without even speaking for more than 5 minutes with him, I can already feel that we’re going to be friends soon enough.
Xangai, China, 2019
I have my back turned to the door of McLaren hospitality as I fumble with the coffee machine. It’s very early in the morning on Friday, a few hours away from the start of free practice. I am feeling exhausted from the long flight from England to China and the different time zones.
“It seems like the coffee machine is winning the fight.” A voice cut through the silence of the hospitality.
I turn around to find Lando standing beside me with a smile on his face, showing his dimples and amusement.
“I can’t get it to make coffee, I think it’s broken.” I complain with a huff
“Did you turn it on?” He asks me amused
“What?”
“Did you turn on the machine?”
“Of course I…” He reaches his arm across from me, pushing a button and the coffee machine beeps before finally brewing my coffee. I feel my cheeks go warm in embarrassment “Sorry, I’m uh still half asleep.”
He giggles, that infectious laugh of his that I always find myself smiling and giggling along whenever I hear it. If there is one thing I have already learned from Lando, it's that it’s nearly impossible to be serious around him. He carries this natural good natured aura, and he’s funny and likes to make jokes and see the good side of things. And whenever I’m around him I find myself a giggling mess.
We grab our cups of coffee and take a seat at one of the comfortable arm chairs at the corner of the room.
“You look tired.” Lando points out, sipping his coffee.
“I’m jet lagged, and I had a paper to turn in for uni so I stayed up until late and I only got a few hours of sleep on the plane because I had to review the questions for yesterday’s press conference.” I tell him, basically chugging down my coffee “Do you think I’d get fired if I drank Red Bull?”
He shakes his head.
“You should get some sleep during FP1.” He tells me
I sigh “Yeah, but it’s not really worth the drive back to the hotel, I will probably only manage a twenty minute nap before I have to come back here.”
“You can nap in my driver's room.” He offers, a friendly smile on his face
“Oh, no, I can’t accept it.” I shake my head “Thank you, thought.”
Lando smiles, leaning over the armrest of his seat to get closer to me.
“I insist. You need sleep to be on top of your game. Come on.” He stands up offering his hand. I eye it for a moment before accepting it. He pulls me up to my feet.
He guides me through the corridors of the hospitality until we reach his driver’s room. He opens the door and I’m a bit surprised at how neat it looks. I half expected it to be a mess of clothes.
“Here, you can sleep on the couch, it isn’t much but it’s better than nothing.”
“Thank you.” I smile, sitting on the couch and taking off my shoes.
I get into a comfortable position, curling up on the couch and instantly closing my eyes. I feel something soft covering me and I open my eyes a bit confused.
“I don’t have a blanket.” Lando says, his cheeks turning red. “So I uh… covered you with my jacket.”
I feel my chest grow warm at his sweet gesture. I smile at him.
“Thank you, Lando.”
He smiles back at me, and at that moment, I think is when I started to have a crush on him.
Barcelona, Spain, 2019
I should have expected Spain to be a bit insane considering the fact that I work with a Spanish driver. The minute I stepped out of the car with Carlos following behind me, the fans started to scream and throw themselves at us.
I’m not unfamiliar with the whole passionate fans wanting pictures and autographs, but since I used be a toddler or a child, they at least head the decency to not push and pull at my dad because I was clinging to him.
But now I am an adult, and they don’t care about those things anymore and I had never been mobbed by fans before without having my dad or my uncles by my side.
The fans screamed at Carlos who was doing his best to attend each and every single one of them. And things only got worse when Lando arrived and they suddenly wanted pictures of the best new funny duo of the grid.
They pulled at me, shoving pictures on my face to get them to sign since I worked with them, and they yelled questions about what it was like to work with the both young drivers.
I tried to step away, get away from them fans, but I was stuck in between the mass of people and to make matters worse they managed to separate me from Carlos and Lando who were looking at me concerned over the chaos.
“What the fuck?! What the fuck is going on?” A harsh loud voice cut through the yell of fans “Stop pulling at her! Get your hands off of her!”
Suddenly a tall blonde man dressed in red was pushing the fans away from me, shielding me with his body as he yelled.
I cling to the back of Sebastian's Ferrari shirt, telling like a little girl again, but completely relieved that he was there with me with his familiar force of comfort he always knew how to bring me.
He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, gluing me to his side and I knew if I wasn’t 20 years old anymore he would have picked me up and carried me like a toddler out of this mess. He glared at everyone who tried to get in our way and stirred me inside the paddock.
“Prinzessi.” Sebastian called me the same nickname from when he first met me as a newborn “Are you okay? Did they hurt you?”
I shake my head “No, I’m… I’m fine.” I say, but my voice is shaky and he can tell that I’m holding back tears.
He places his hands on my shoulders, peering down at me with intense concerned eyes as he scans my body to look for any injury.
“What the hell is wrong with you both?” Sebastian yells the minute Lando and Carlos finally catch up to us “They were eating her alive!”
They look sheepish and terrified of being scolded by the German who looks lived with anger.
“She’s your PR assistant, but you’re supposed to keep your fans in check to keep her safe!” Sebastian continues with the harsh tone “She could have gotten hurt! They were touching her and shoving her! That was so reckless from the both of you!”
They nod, stiffly.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Vettel.” Lando says, eyes wide “I promise this will never happen again. I’ll- I’ll make sure she is safe at all times from now own. I- I swear!”
Sebastian doesn’t correct him on the Mr. Vettel name calling, he nods still with a glare.
“Come on, prinzessin.” He says in a much more soft tone, his arm resting against my shoulder in a protective parental manner “Let’s get you to Ferrari, uh? I will get you one of those chocolate pastries you love so much.”
With one final glare Sebastian takes me away from them. The McLaren drivers share a confused look as they watch me walk away.
Monte Carlo, Monaco, 2019
The Monaco Grand Prix is always a big event. Lots of celebrities and former drivers gather in the city to watch the historical race, and that’s how I find myself sitting at the McLaren hospitality chatting away with uncle Nico while my dad gets us drinks.
“Are you sure you don’t want to watch the race from Mercedes, uncle Nico?” I ask him, making my best innocent look that always got me away with things when I was younger and probably until this day when it comes to the drivers who watch me grow up.
“No, of course not.” Nico Rosberg shakes his head, a found and almost proud smile on his face “This is the first race I am watching this season in person and you’re officially a Formula 1 employee, I’m staying all weekend here with you at McLaren.”
I want to argue with him that I’m not technically a F1 employee as I’m just an intern, but he gives me a pointed look and I only nod.
“So, what is this that I hear about you and a rookie driver?”
I widen my eyes as I look at him.
“What? What are you talking about?”
Nico laughs at me “Seb has told me that you’ve become inseparable from the rookie McLaren driver, Norris.”
I huff, I should have known uncle Sebastian would open his mouth and gossip about me to his retired friends.
As if being summoned, Lando walked into the McLaren hospitality, wearing his cap backwards and smiling big as always. Carlos is beside him as usual and they both make their way over once they spot me.
“Hola, pequenita.” Carlos greets me, ruffling my hair affectionately before spotting Nico sitting across for me and getting a bit embarrassed.
Lando stands beside me ready to make a joke when he notices Carlos’ expression and widening his eyes when he sees Nico as well.
“Hello, Nico.” Carlos greets him
“Carlos, always good to see you.” He smiles before turning to Lando “And you must be one of the 2019 rookies, Lando?”
Lando nods quickly “Yeah, yeah. That’s me, nice to meet you Mr. Rosberg.”
Nico’s smile widens as Lando addresses him as Mr. Rosberg, feeling pleased with himself. I shot him a warning glare.
“Please, join us.” He says, motioning for the boys to the empty seats.
Lando sits beside me as Carlos sits across from me, leaving one empty space at the head of the table.
Nico makes light conversation, asking mostly questions about Formula 1, but I could see the glint in his eyes every time he asked Lando something, who seemed incredibly shy at receiving attention from a World Champion.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to get the drinks, I ran into some old friends.” My dad says walking to the table with a glass of my favorite refreshing drink to have in Monaco “There you go, sweetheart.”
I smile, accepting the drink “Thank you, dad.”
Lando and Carlos both choke on their saliva at the same time when they hear me call Jensen Button my dad.
“Ah, just the men I wanted to meet!” He exclaims “Carlos, Lando, you both have been doing such good jobs here at McLaren. My daughter talks a lot about you.”
I watch as they become flustered over the news. My dad smiles, taking a sit at the head of the table.
“I heard you both let her get swamped by a mob of fans?” He asks with a smile, but I can see the hard look in his eyes.
“Dad!” I scold him “Uncle Seb already gave them a hard time!”
My father chuckles, soon being followed by Nico. Carlos and Lando’s eyes are wide and they look terrified.
“I know, I know.” My dad lifts his hands in surrender “I’m just messing with them. But I still have eyes and ears on the paddock so…”
“Dad!” I scold him once more.
He laughs again and finally switch subjects, talking about the new grid line up of this year and asking questions to Lando and Carlos who seem to become a bit more comfortable at the presence of Jenson Button and Nico Rosberg.
Hockenheim, Germany, 2019
Lando was in a bad mood, I could tell it from far away. He was moving frantically around the garage and he had a scowl on his face.
The past five races have been of ups and downs from him, he had two DNF, one race out of top ten because he got p11 and two races where he scored points. But he was pissed off still from his p11 on his home race in England.
It also didn’t help that the reporter he got placed with decided to improvise some questions that wasn’t pre approved and it made Lando uncomfortable with the way he was pressing on the matter of him doing a bad job at his home race.
And then, to make matters worse, he DNFed again today.
“Lando.” I say his name in a soft tone
He whips his head quickly towards me, a deep frown on his face.
“It wasn’t your fault.” I say, I place a hand on his forearm, squeezing it in reassurance “It’s raining terribly today, everyone is spinning.”
He huffs annoyed.
“I should be good at racing in the rain.” He complains.
“How many times have you raced in this circuit?” I ask him, calmly.
“Well- this was the first time, but…”
I cut him off “And how many times have you raced in the rain in a Formula 1 car?”
Lando blinks at me as he answers “This was also the first time.”
I nod, my thumb rubbing sof circles on his forearm.
“And how do you expect to be good at something you’re doing for the first time?”
He looks away from me, and I can tell he is staring to consider my words.
“Valtteri has been doing this for a long time and he also crashed.” I tell him.
That get him to look at me again, his frown turning into something a bit more hopeful.
“Bottas didn’t finish the race?”
I shake my head “No, he didn’t. Even the experienced ones are having a hard time out there. This is only your first race in the rain, Lando.”
He sighs, and slowly he nods his head. He shifts his arm, making my hand slide down and towards his. His hand is much bigger than mine and it’s warm despite the cold weather from the rain. He squeezes my hand.
“Thank you. I just-…”
I smile at him, squeezing his hand back.
“It’s okay. I get it.”
And for the first time since he DNFed, I saw Lando’s dimples as he smiled at me.
Marina Bay, Singapore, 2019
Singapore has always been a hard circuit. The warmth and humidity did no good for the drivers to be racing for long periods of time. Still, it’s one of my favorite circuits because I find it beautiful to watch the race at night.
I’m watching from the McLaren garage, this time considering the hot weather conditions, they allowed the PR team to wear lighter clothes, so I’m in a simple dress, standing close to the AC and sipping water every few minutes.
I wince when I watch Carlos spin and crash into the barrier. The garage grows quiet for a minute.
“He’s ok!” His race engineer announces and we all finally breath normally again
A few moments later Carlos enters the garage with an annoyed look on his face. He places his helmet on one of the shelves and go to speak to his team.
I keep my eyes trained on the screen to watch Lando’s progress while I look for the schedule of reporters who want a world with Carlos after his DNF.
I accept the request of two journalists and move over to where Carlos is.
“Hey… you ready for some interviews?” I ask, eyeing him
He clenched his jaw before nodding and following me out of the garage and onto the media pan.
I give out instructions to him on the way there and step back when he positions himself to give the interviews. I watch intensely, jotting out necessary information on my iPad and ready to intervene at any given moment, but despite the bad situation, the interviews go smoothly and soon enough we’re back at the garage.
Carlos excuses himself to go shower and change clothes, clearly not in the mood for conversation.
In a blur of moments I watch as uncle Seb wins the Singapore Grand Prix, a proud smile on my face. Lando finishes in p7 which is great since he’s on the pointing zone.
“Congratulations, Lando. You did a really good job today!” I tell him
His smile grows bigger “Thank you, thank you!”
Even though he’s happy, I can notice the tiredness ok his face. He’s completely drenched in swest and I can see the slightly tremor of his hands, probably about to begin an hypoglycemic episode without even realizing.
“Hey, why don’t you take a sit?” I say, gently grabbing both his arms and walking him to a chair. I move quickly as I push my water bottle into his hands and search for a snack “Here.”
Lando looks at me a bit confused, but obliged.
“Oh.. wow.” He chuckles “How did you even know how to do this? I didn’t even realize I was feeling weak.”
I smile, my hand twitches at my side as I feel the want to run my fingers over his curls.
“I’ve been on the watching side of this sport since I learned how to walk. I learned a thing or two.”
He nods, still munching on the chocolate protein bar I gave him.
“Yeah… I uh sometimes forget you’re the Jenson Button’s daughter.”
“I’m glad you do.”
Lando tilts his head to the side, confused, but doesn’t say anything and I’m grateful for that.
Austin, United States, 2019
The season is coming to an end, thankfully. All the traveling, working and university studying at the same time has been taking a toll on me. It is too much, and I could see it every time I woke up and looked at myself in the mirror. The circles staring back at me.
My body was sore, my throat scratchy and my head hurt. I knew the flu was making it’s way to dominate my body.
Still, I put on makeup to cover up my sickness face and went to the paddock for media day.
“Buenos dias!” Carlos greeted me once I entered the van and sat across from him and beside Lando who was bouncing with energy on the seat
“Good morning.” I say, cringing a little at the way my voice sounded
Lando frowned, pushing his face close to mine to examine me.
“What’s wrong?” He asked in a low voice, his brows furrowing
“Nothing’s wrong.”
Still, he kept analyzing me. From the corner of my eyes I could see Carlos lips turn upwards in a smile he hid behind his phone as he scrolled through it.
Lando said my name slowly, softly.
“You look sick.”
I pout slightly as I say “Geez, thank you for saying I look terrible.”
He huffs, clearly not finding my attempt to brush it off as funny as I did. He lifted his hand up before placing it on my forehead.
“You’re hot.”
“Oh, so now I’m…”
“Stop trying to deflect it.” Lando cuts me off before I can make another joke. “You’re sick. Why didn’t you say anything? You should be in bed resting.”
I shake my head, getting away from his hand.
“I’m not sick. I’m great. I’m just jet lagged and a bit tired, nothing some coffee won’t fix.”
Lando frowns and it takes me by surprise to see the irritated look on his face directed at me. Sure, I’ve seen him mad before when the race doesn’t go the way expected or when the media gets too much, but never aimed at me.
“I’ve seen you jet lagged and tired before and this is not it.”
I say his name in a sigh and he says my name in a warning. We stared at each other for what feels like forever, before Carlos giggles at us and says we arrived at the paddock.
The minute I get out of the van I start to quickly walk inside the paddock, scanning my pass, knowing the guys will stop to talk to the fans and I will be free of Lando’s questioning. I start to make my way to the McLaren hospitality when I feel a large hand land on my shoulder.
I flinch in surprise, whipping my head around and finding Lando beside me, still frowning.
“Lando.” I try to sound stern as I say his name, but it gets mixed up with a cough I try to hold in.
That only makes his frown deepen. He starts to drag me somewhere.
“You’re going to the medic center now.” He says, stern.
I complain and try to stand still, but he is taller, bigger and much stronger than me so he basically drags me.
I can see some people turning around to look at us, but I keep telling him to let go.
“Hey, hey, hey.” Sebastian shows up in front of us, hands on his waist and I know that behind his sunglasses he is glaring at Lando. “What is going on here?”
“She’s sick and she’s being stubborn about it.” Lando says, still holding onto my shoulder “So I’m taking her to the medic center.”
Sebastian frowns, placing his sunglasses on top of his head as he takes a step closer to me.
“I’m not sick.” I say “Lando is being dramatic. Tell him to leave me alone.”
“She is sick! She even has a fever!”
Sebastian looks between the two of us, but he knows me long enough to know I am lying. He places a hand on my forehead.
“Norris ir right, you do have a fever, prinzessin.”
“No I don’t.” I say stubbornly.
He arches an eyebrow, as if challenging me.
“Do you want me to carry you to the medic center like you’re still a tiny baby?” He asks and I shake my head quickly, knowing very well he isn’t bluffing “Then let Norris take you and follow everything the medics say.”
“But Sebby!” I whine.
“Prinzessin.” He gives me an unimpressed look “Go to the medic center with Norris, now. And I’m not asking, I am telling you to go.”
I huff with a pout, knowing I won’t win this argument so I let Lando take me to the medic center while Sebastian watches from the distant as the McLaren rookie fusses over me.
Abu Dhabi, Saudi Arabia, 2019
The paddock was busier than ever, so many people with so many big smiles and shouts of happiness.
It’s the last race of the season and it leaves a bittersweet feeling on my chest. On one hand I am extremely happy that the season is finally over and I will be able to go back to a somewhat normal routine, going to college everyday, normal sleep schedules, as normal as an university student sleep schedule can go, and staying at home for a bit.
But at the same time, I am upset about being away from Formula 1 for the time being. I got used to seeing Lando and Carlos everyday, they are already a big important part of my life. I like the thrill of being in a different place every other week, of learning new things and watching the races.
I’m sitting at the VIP lounge section at the rooftop, overlooking the paddock bustling with activities. I’m sipping an Italian soda while I soak in the last moments of the 2019 season.
I don’t say anything as Lando slips quietly on the seat beside me. He has dark sunglasses perched on the top of his nose and he’s wearing a black McLaren shirt. His thigh brushes my slightly to gather my attention.
I shift in my seat to look at him and he already has that dimple smile on his face.
“It’s been a long year, huh?” He says quietly
I nod, smiling softly at him.
“It has been… feels like it was yesterday that I meet you and Carlos on my first day at the paddock.”
He hums, reaching out for my glass of Italian soda and taking a sip without even asking for it. I don’t mind, it’s normal between us by now.
“How was your first year as a Formula 1 employee?” He asks
“Better than I expected to be honest.” I tell him, playing with the hem of my dress “I didn’t get bad words from people for being Jenson Button’s daughter.”
Lando nods, understanding what I’m hinting at.
“You’ve been doing a good job, I think you’ve proved yourself here.”
“No, I haven’t yet.” I tell him. “But what about you? How was your first year as a Formula 1 driver?”
His smile widens “It was insane. Sometimes still feels like I’m dreaming. I know the results I’ve been getting aren’t ideal yet, but being here… it’s great.” I can tell he’s happy by the way his eyes lit up “I got so luck to have a good teammate.”
I nod, he sure indeed found a friend in Carlos.
“And even luckier to have the most beautiful and incredible PR intern.”
My cheeks grow hot the minute my brain register and processes his words. I lift my eyes to look at him, his cheeks are also tinted pink and he was a sweet smile on his face.
We stare at each other for a moment, only gazing in each others eyes. I reach for his hand and he squeezes mine in his big one.
“Will you be here with me next year?” Lando asks in a soft tone.
“Yes.” I breath out “I’ll be here with you next year.”
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