#I think I got a bit carried away here

[venomousray]

I’m starkid homeless guy’s number 1 fan. I will keep this title. I think about him all day. All night. All everywhere. He’s the best character ever created. I’ve drawn him over 100 times and I joined this fandom 5 months ago. He is my beloved. I am his biggest fan of all time. That title is mine. He is my beloved. He’s just a blorb. Exactly 1:41:14 in time bastard. 1:05 in the ladeedadaday soundtrack. He carried honey queen trust. He’s the peakest of characters and I adore him. I could talk about him all day. I have a list of headcanons for him that just keeps being added to. I own a coat that looks almost exactly like his because of him. He is perfect.

[gen-toon]

[thedaythatwas]

on nagito komaeda and love

I just think it’s sort of funny that for a character whose (arguably) most well-recognized CG is this: 

komaeda’s narrative so heavily centers love. and I don’t just say this because I’ve had komahina brainrot for years (though this is true!!). even if you don’t care about komahina, it’s tough to deny komaeda is a walking tragedy in large part because of the role that love plays in his life. his characterization is driven by the way his luck has denied him love, and how he seeks it out regardless. in that sense, I think that without understanding komahina as at least one-sided, you miss out on one of the juiciest, most miserable pieces of komaeda’s character development.

tldr; a love-centered reading of komaeda makes sense, recognizing komahina as “a thing” in DR2 (whether you ship it or not) is pretty important to understanding how komaeda operates, and I’ll try to prove it right here under this page break!!

Part 1: Komaeda’s Love Life (or, his life without love)

I think it’s safe to assume that if you clicked here, you know about komaeda’s absurdly miserable, tumultuous childhood, but I’ll do a quick recap just in case! meteor kills his parents on a plane, he inherits a ton of money. he’s kidnapped by a serial killer, he finds a winning lottery ticket in the garbage bag he’s thrown out in. he’s diagnosed with terminal cancer and dementia, he gets into hope’s peak.

in his free time events, komaeda *explicitly* frames his luck cycle as something that takes away the people he loves. it only “takes action” against him after his relatives have died (for the sake of this essay, let’s assume that komaeda loved his parents, or would have at least been hurt by their passing). by way of other close connections… well, his wording here implies that by the time of his diagnosis, he didn’t really have anybody in his life. 

either komaeda didn’t allow himself to get close to anyone after the meteor incident, or he did, and they were taken away by his luck. at some point during his childhood, komaeda learned he should view himself as a death sentence.

so, how does this loss of love shape the komaeda we know? I’ll talk about this in terms of four of his defining (and connected!) traits in DR2 canon – the ones that really make his actions make sense: his self-loathing, his hope-seeking, his learned helplessness, and his certainty that his existence poses a threat to those around him. komaeda’s experience with loss makes him view himself as a source of death, which in turn fuels these tenets of his character. ultimately, his loss and the complexes that arise from it give him good incentive to push people away.

his self-loathing

komaeda hates himself. he views himself as worthless outside of his potential to serve as a “stepping stone” for the hope of the ultimates. he claims that this is driven by his beliefs around talent, which are in turn linked to the way his worldview rests on viewing hope as “absolute good.” the talentless (himself included) are only good for advancing the hope of the talented. still, his self-loathing is a bit more personal than that. take what he says and dig just below the surface, and it’s a clean cut trauma response all the way down. which leads us directly to…

his hope-seeking

komaeda is willing to do literally anything to serve hope. on the island, this (in short) means dying. this is where I prod at komaeda’s reasoning a bit more: komaeda’s willingness to act the way he does in canon also stems from his belief that his dying would be a net good for the world. his existence kills the people around him. his illness will kill him anyway. he has less than no value, and hope is invaluable. to go out for the sake of hope would give his wretched life purpose; it’s his dream come true.

and it’s no mystery why komaeda cares so much about hope: again, it’s a coping mechanism! komaeda’s belief that all bad luck is a necessary precursor for good luck and that hope will always triumph over despair is (as he himself says!) the only reason he’s managed to stay alive. I’ll say it again because I really can’t emphasize it enough – komaeda thinks that just by existing, he kills the people he loves. ouch!

learned helplessness / his existence as a threat

komaeda has, essentially, learned to submit to his luck cycle. all bad luck is good luck in the end – isn’t that amazing?! almost paradoxically, he’s hyper-vigilant about the negative impact his luck has on those around him. this is a tricky one. I make sense of it this way: komaeda’s perception of how much his luck impacts the people close to him isn’t inflated, like, at all. the supernatural way the world bends around komaeda to screw him over really does pose a danger to himself and others, and he takes measures to minimize that danger. his stated acceptance of his luck cycle is… well, again, he’s coping. 

if komaeda really thought that all bad luck is ultimately good luck, he wouldn’t try to protect his classmates from his bad luck. but, as we see in island mode, he does!

but really, who could blame komaeda for lying to himself? I’ll restate the facts. komaeda thinks that luck is absolute power. he says that he’s powerless against it. his luck has taken his family, and it’s left him with nothing but money that he doesn’t want. he’s certain he’s a curse, and there’s no end to that in sight: so long as komaeda exists, he’ll keep on losing – murdering – everything he loves. 

in the face of all of that despair, what can you do but abandon your self-esteem and pray for something good to come out of all of it? how else could somebody possibly survive carrying that burden, truly believing that load will never be lightened?

tldr; komaeda thinks his existence is a threat, and a big chunk of his personality is a frankensteined way of surviving the pain that comes with that. still, we should question how much of his worldview komaeda has really internalized without inner conflict. 

Part 2: Enter Hajime Hinata

we get some answers on that front when we see that despite the clear and obvious danger it poses, nagito komaeda still finds himself falling hard for hajime hinata. that’s really, really loud.

I’ll preface this part by saying that you don’t need to actively ship komahina to understand what I’m trying to get at here. this said, I’ll be recapping an argument you’ve almost definitely seen before: komahina is definitely “a thing” – at the very least as a one-sided thing. to this, I’ll add the (perhaps bold?) claim that without recognizing that much as true, you’re missing out on a big part of what makes komaeda so interesting.

komaeda’s FTEs make it abundantly clear that komaeda has feelings for hinata. apart from his famed failed love confession, the fact that komaeda is willing to allow hinata to get close enough to learn about his views on hope and luck is telling. 

(the smoking gun here hinges on trusting that komaeda was telling the truth during the time you spent with him; in so many words, that he only lied about lying. so, for the sake of argument, let’s assume this is true! there’s good proof for it, anyway.)

if you read his final FTE as komaeda flashing his soul to hinata and making a decision at the very last second to retreat, turning to old coping mechanisms to protect hinata from his luck, it’s sort of a komahina bombshell. that capitulation spells out for us that komaeda understands sharing his life experiences with hinata to be one of the most intimate things he could possibly do.

he recognizes the exact moment he lets hinata get too close – when his life story is finally told – and he does what he’s learned he needs to do to get them both out of that situation safely: he tries to make hinata hate him, and tells himself (and hinata!) that he did it for the sake of hope.

(and yet, komaeda let hinata approach him every FTE, knowing damn well that they were both playing with fire… very interesting.)

now, let’s say you don’t consider the FTEs to be integral to canon. I mean, you can really easily miss out on all of komaeda’s content if you choose not to hang out with him in chapter 1! so, for the skeptic, in the unskippable main story, komaeda tells hinata this:

komaeda cares about hinata despite everything. and I really, truly mean despite everything. at this point in the story, the fact that he still cares about hinata calls into question basically every single one of his core beliefs. he’s read his final dead room prize – not only does hinata not have a talent, we can presume that komaeda also knows hinata became ultimate despair along with the rest of them. 

hinata has continually sought out komaeda’s company, even though komaeda knows himself to be worthless at best, lethal at worst. komaeda was willing to let him get closer, even though he knows how dangerous that is for hinata. he can’t help but let hinata try to know him. 

isn’t he awful? to want what he knows he can’t have, even though that wanting has never done anything but cause pain? he’s really the lowest of the low, to love someone who destroyed the world, who makes him question the views that will allow him to do the only good thing he’s ever been able to do for it: to die for hope. 

and yet, it’s a nod to how incredibly capable of love komaeda is that he’s still willing to reach out for it, no matter how many times it’s burned him in the past, and how much it hurts him in the present to want it. he understands more than anyone that his feelings can only result in disaster. reading komaeda as someone who can’t help but go on loving anyway makes his story hurt so much worse. 

but, you miss a whole lot of that without an eye for komahina. seeing hinata as the eye of komaeda’s emotional hurricane (and keeping tabs on their connection accordingly) allows us to glimpse past the cracks in komaeda’s front. we see that komaeda’s worldview is less stable than he presents it as – hinata is where komaeda’s coping mechanisms, for better or worse, run up against a wall. that tends to be uncomfortable for a guy who’s just barely coping in the first place. then again, growth is supposed to be uncomfortable, isn’t it?

Part 3: The Future He Chooses

so, all of this considered, I think one of the most interesting ways you can flesh komaeda out post-canon is by asking how he’d find himself willing to accept love. whether that love is from hinata or the ultimates, whether it’s platonic or romantic, love is the thing that komaeda wants AND fears in equal measure more than anything. it’s the source of his self-loathing and his obsession with hope. it’s the reason he’s lived the way that he has for so long – lonely, and afraid of being anything but.

getting into a relationship wouldn’t solve komaeda’s problems for him, and that’s a good thing. it would force him to confront old ones, and probably create dozens of new issues for him, too. writing him through that makes for great character study!

hinata (or anyone else, for that matter) can’t love komaeda into loving himself, but he can give him a shoulder to cry on while he works through 22 years of fear and sorts through the wreckage of a worldview that’s long since stopped serving him. I don’t think his progress would be linear. but, I think that he could do it. komaeda learning to accept care is what his healing looks like. 

(well. and physically recovering from cancer and dementia. but that’s neither here nor there!)

a post-canon komaeda learning to love narrative is also in line with the themes of DR2. hinata leads the survivors out of the neo world program because he makes the decision to choose his own future, creating a new version of “hope” for himself and his classmates. likewise, komaeda can make the decision to save himself. that is, if he trusts himself enough to actually touch and hold the thing that he’s never been able to stop reaching out for, anyway.

after all, hinata is lucky too. (and if it turns out he isn’t… y'all like angst fics, right?)

(shoutout to @cynopter for looking this over and confirming that I'm not spouting nonsense <33 thank you for reading my thesis of the week <33)

[vivispec]

Hello there! I'm not even sure how to start. So I felt very disappointed by DA:TV, because of various reasons. Not trying to dampen the mood, I am super happy for you if you actually enjoyed the game! If you do not mind, could you list the things you liked/loved about the game? Help me see the "bright side"? Just gush a litte about it, I could use some positive input around my favourite gaming series of all time. :') thank you <3

Absolutely! For me, I think I always figured I was going to like this game, even if it wasn't my fave of all time? Trick Weekes always writes characters/quests that I like, and for me, story/characters come before anything else. I liked Andromeda, flawed as it was. Even if the gameplay was mediocre, I was certain I'd find something I'd like.

But the gameplay wasn't mediocre. It was actually really, really fun. I played Spellblade, and honestly, the gameplay might be a highpoint for me. I don't really like action gameplay, I tolerate it. I loved this, though.

The biggest thing that really sold me is the fact that the big choices in this game are difficult in a way Bioware has been trying to capture since Origins, but I don't think they've ever nailed until now (except maybe in Mass Effect). Even in Origins, when they had big choices like what to do with Connor, or how to deal with the werewolves, there was always a cop out choice. There isn't one in this game, so far as I can see. At the end of EVERY companion quest there was a choice I couldn't choose, something that made me wonder just what would've happened if I'd picked something different, and don't get me started on the endgame. The endgame was brutal :')

I love the characters, too! I do think some of the writing can get a bit campy or be a bit on the nose, I think some subtlety is lacking for certain characters especially in the beginning, but once shit hits the fan just about every companion has their gutwrenching moment. I felt for every single character in this game, during their act 2 personal quest moments. In all the other games there was at least one character I just couldn't care about, but even the ones that I thought wouldn't tickle my fancy snuck up on me. By the end, I loved all of them so much. I only wanted more.

I like Rook, too. I think I can see how their characterization might be disappointing, though. I think the key for me and my friend @sweetmage was finding the right Rook to play. We both had lots of concepts and while I plugged in the right one first, I know they struggled until they found the right one. Rook is kinda like Hawke in the way that they have a bit of personality already and a defined character path, which can get in the way of true RP. Once I stopped fighting it and let Rook be Rook, I liked the game a lot more, and I liked my character a lot more.

Then there's lore. Oh, lore. I have listened to or read every codex. I have a treasure trove of theories I keep locked in my head. All I need is a corkboard and some red string. Getting to see so many of those theories come to fruition? Things they've been teasing since Origins, that I picked up on when I was 12? Absolutely magical! Some of it I think they bungled--there's one reveal I've been waiting for for 15 years that I found in a note, not codex, on a bridge in Minrathous, no fanfare or anything--but the majority of it punched me right in the face with so much force I had to pause the game and do a little pacing. I won't get into specifics for spoiler reasons, but seeing all those little dots connect? seeing when I was right, and when I was wrong? SO euphoric for me!

A lot of the things I didn't like, too, like making the Crows less shitty--so easy to headcanon around, in ways that don't contradict canon! It's one of my favorite things to do, it feels like a puzzle to me, making everything that is for certain and everything I want fit together. That one, for instance, Zevran totally gutted all the shitty Crows, and left only the good ones :)

I will say, it's clear they were trying to wrap things up. I got the sense while playing it felt that they didn't want to leave any loose threads in case this was their last DA game, so that felt a bit rushed. But I loved it. To me it was a love letter, saying goodbye. Wrapping everything up in a nice little bow. I've always struggled to choose a favorite game in the DA series, they all do something I love so differently that I can't pinpoint one singular favorite, and I think this one is right up there for me, tied for 1st place with the other three games. Like DA2 and DAI I think it could've cooked just a little bit longer, there's a lot of potential for it to be a 9/10 game imho if they'd smoothed a couple of things out, but there's a lot in there for me to love.

Thank you so much for the question, I hope the wall of text will help you see a bit of the light haha. I don't mind that people didn't like it--that's just how it goes sometimes, and I think there are a lot of valid criticisms to be had. For me I was just super bummed that it was the only thing I was seeing online. I'm following lots of positivity now, so the occasional disenchantment is not a problem. Idk if it'll work for you, but @sweetmage was similarly disappointed until they streamed it with a friend, and then just having someone there to converse with it on really helped them to enjoy it. I hope you can find something to love in it, too!

[madbard]

Putting this in your askbox cuz I know you're also an Epic the Musical fan but yknow I think if Loop saw that musical they'd get very emotional about Would You Fall In Love With Me Again, just in the context of thinking of their old party... :'>

Oh, a thousand times, yes.

I’ve been thinking about Epic and ISAT a lot recently, and honestly I think the entire musical would be such an intense experience for the entire party, but especially Siffrin and Loop. After all, Epic is, at its core, the story of someone who loses himself while desperately trying to return home.

(I know you were talking about ‘Would You Fall In Love With Me Again’ specifically, but this is about to get really out of hand. Also, I’m going to frame Epic as a musical that Loop, Siffrin and the post-canon party (likely sans Bonnie considering some of the subject material) are watching.)

Starting off with the Troy Saga, we have some striking similarities between Odysseus and Loop and Sif already - we know he’s been away from his home island for years, and so badly wants to see his family again. The homesickness here would resonate with them, I think, but the situation is also very different since Odysseus has such strong memories of his home and his family, and his home still very much exists. So that creates a little bit of distance as they are watching. ‘Open Arms’ would probably hit pretty hard though - I could see Polites’ encouragements reminding them of the party trying to help them after the loops. (Note for ‘Warrior of the Mind’ - I think this song would start some of the party off on the wrong foot with Athena. I think Mirabelle and Isabeau at least would be put off by the line “I see you changing from how I’ve designed you” as a bad thing. Here we have this character trying to change for the better, and another character is telling him that that’s a bad thing and he should stay the same? Yeah, they might not be the biggest Athena fans at this point.)

But then… oh, the Cyclops Saga is going to be uh… interesting. I wonder when any members of the party might have encountered a giant… led a fight against said giant… tried to barter with the giant to find a nonviolent solution for everyone… thought for a moment that they had succeeded… realized they had failed in a terrifying moment when they were told they would be the final one to die… witnessed helplessly as that giant brutally crushed one of the people they love most in the world as that person called out their name in agony… (The first time I listened to Epic after finishing Act 3 I had to pause it for a minute because I kept visualizing Bonnie during ‘Survive’ and it was doing psychic damage.) As much as I like to imagine the party watching Epic, I can’t imagine Siffrin watching that scene without having a panic attack. After that I doubt they are finishing the musical. (Now, we do have a fair bit to go and fascinating songs to think about so for the sake of this post maybe they were somehow all distracted during that scene? I don’t know, for whatever reason they keep watching.) If the party didn’t like Athena before, they definitely don’t like her after she abandons Odysseus - though I could see Odile giving her a little more grace in that regard, as she might see a bit of herself in Athena’s intelligence, the age difference between her and Odysseus and her clear difficulties with friendship and emotions.

The Ocean Saga is called than the Cyclops Saga. I could see Siffrin and Loop exchanging some looks at the “you rely on wit and people die on it” line but while there are some parallels between that song and their own discussion post Act 3, the similarities are ultimately far outweighed by the differences. Then we have the ultimate paranoia/insomnia/exhaustion/homesickness anthem in ‘Keep Your Friends Close,’ which I could see Siffrin and Loop getting pretty invested in.

As much as I love the Circe Saga, I’m not sure the party is getting much from it aside from enjoying the story and music.

Then we have the Underworld Saga and STARS. Loop is NOT going to be handling this well. ‘The Underworld’ is an absolute nightmare - gotta love being haunted by the screams of your friends that you couldn’t protect, tee-hee! Odysseus’ mom dying while waiting for him to come home is also an intense scene considering how little Loop and Siffrin know about what might’ve happened to their own parents when the island disappeared, but that scene is also just generally heartbreaking. ‘No Longer You’ is where things become viscerally painful for Loop - after all, there is a reason there are at least two full length Loop-centric animatics of that song. I want to ramble about this one but… “we’ve suffered and sailed through the toughest of hells, now you tell us our effort’s for nothing” and “I see a man who gets to make it home alive, but it’s no longer you” speak for themselves. The universe doesn’t care how much you suffered - someone is going to get that happy ending that you fought and died and bled for, but it’s not you. Not anymore. Then we reach ‘Monster’ and Odysseus has reached a state of self-loathing and dehumanization that Siffrin and Loop are far too familiar with. The death of diplomacy in exchange for brutality matches with post-Act 3 Siffrin, but it also aligns with Loop, and their willingness to do whatever it takes to help Siffrin escape the loops, even if that means sacrificing the party. And of course the perceived loss of humanity is very applicable to Loop, always.

On to the Thunder Saga, and Odysseus’ rage in ‘Different Beast’ is his own personal Memory of Sadnesses moment. This saga is just… tough to listen to for the entire party I think. The way Odysseus and Eurylochus’ friendship falls apart - that still hurts so much every time I listen and I’m sure it would be painful for them as well. (I could probably elaborate more but this post is already far longer than I had expected and I’m starting to run out of steam so I’ll leave it here.)

The party has made it to the Wisdom Saga! Odd opinion incoming, but I think ‘Legendary’ would resonate with Isabeau a lot - a song about this young, less-than-intimidating guy who desperately wants to be bigger, braver, stronger, the kind of person that can protect the people he cares about. Also, I could see Telemachus activating some protective instincts in the party, considering how some of his eagerness and fighting attitude are mirrored in Bonnie as well. ‘Little Wolf’ and ‘We’ll Be Fine’ would cause a massive shift in Mirabelle and Isabeau’s opinion of Athena - the character who opposed change at the beginning has changed for the better! Athena’s regret in ‘We’ll Be Fine’ would also hit really close to home for Odile, I think - “maybe if I’d made a different call, maybe if I hadn’t missed it all, maybe he’d be fine” aligns so painfully well with her own guilt and regret for not being able to figure out the loops and help Siffrin sooner. I think ‘Love In Paradise’ would be a surprisingly tough listen for Loop and Siffrin. The context is so different, but this song contains lyrics like “under my spell we’re stuck in paradise, no one can come or go - not til the end of time, there is no way, you’re mine, all mine.” Calypso is so scared of being alone that she traps Odysseus on the island with her for years - meanwhile, Odysseus is slowly broken down by his grief and his desperation to go home. For Loop and Siffrin, there’s an uncomfortable understanding of both characters, I think. (The entire party loves Athena after ‘God Games,’ I don’t make the rules.)

Next up, Vengeance Saga. This is where things start to get intense. As one might guess from the fact that I made a Loop-centric lyric comic for ‘Not Sorry For Loving You,’ I think they would relate to this song on a visceral level. “Someone came by today, they said they’re taking you away, that you’re not mine to save, and sooner I won’t get to see your face” - this so perfectly fits with Loop’s realizing Siffrin won their happy ending and is going to be leaving Dormont with THEIR family. Not theirs to save. Not anymore. “I spent my whole life here, was cast away when I was young, alone for a hundred years, I had no friends but the sky and sun” - this is literally an exaggerated description of their own life, washing up on the shore of Vaugarde as a teenager, completely alone with no memory of ever having been known or loved. “So when you washed ashore, I thought for sure that you were my dream come true - I thought I knew” - Loop/Siffrin being so desperately lonely when they met the party and bonding with them so deeply and desperately, starved for love and connection to the point where they clung TOO hard, loved TOO defensively. And then we reach the final lines of the song and I honestly think the comic explains better than I could exactly how perfect those lyrics are for Loop. At the end of this song, Calypso is left sobbing on a beach, watching as Odysseus sails into a future without her in it, with people that love him, so desperately lonely and full of the knowledge that nobody will ever, ever love her again. Yeah… I think this song might mess with Loop a bit. And then, of course, we have ‘Six Hundred Strike.’ This is another song that I imagine Siffrin for - specifically Act 5 Siffrin fighting the King. “How does it feel to be helpless? How does it feel to know pain? I watched my friends die in horror - watching as they were all slain!” Honestly, this song is a big Act 5 moment for Odysseus - except that he actually defeats Poseidon. I can’t imagine that this song wouldn’t cause at least a shudder in Siffrin and Loop.

And now, finally, the Ithaca Saga. (Which is what you were actually talking about. This got extremely out of hand.) I’ve mentioned the party would feel protective of Telemachus. They are not handling ‘Hold Them Down’ well. ‘Odysseus’ is interesting to think about actually, because for whatever reason this has become such an Act 5 Isabeau loops AU song to me. I imagine that an Isabeau loops AU would involve him undergoing a change that mirrors Odysseus a lot, becoming steadily colder rather than becoming manic like Siffrin does. I think he’d cope with the loops by essentially shutting down his emotions, using his intellect to be a truly terrifying force in combat. Under it all though I think there’d still be a core protective rage - “my mercy has long since drowned” vibes. He’s going to protect his family, even if it means becoming a monster. Alright, AU talk aside, the fact that the suitors literally refer to Telemachus as “the kid” in this song (as they’re planning to maim him to control Odysseus) is going to mess with Loop and Siffrin at least a little bit. Moving onto ‘I Can’t Help But Wonder,’ for whatever reason this song makes me think of Bonnie and Nille. I actually have a half-sketched lyric comic with this song set to their reunion, but only time will tell if I ever actually get around to finishing it.

Alright. We’ve made to the song this ask was actually talking about.

‘Would You Fall In Love With Me Again’ is a beautifully painful song to think about in connection with Loop because it is such a cruel inversion of what actually happens. Odysseus returns home, changed and certain Penelope won’t love him anymore, convinced that when she looks at him she will see a monster. But when she sees him again, she sees her husband. She sees him, she recognizes him, she tells him she still loves him, that he is still the same person, that she will fall in love with him over and over. She tells him everything Loop wishes they could hear from their own party. In reality, the party didn’t recognize Loop, because they aren’t the same person anymore. In canon, Loop never gets the confirmation that the party loves them still. They know the party is grateful, but that’s only because they were able to help them find Siffrin. Siffrin thought the party loved him after he helped each of them during the friend quests, and it’s only after Act 5 that they realize that the party loved them already, and will continue to love them even if they mess up. Loop never gets that confirmation. As they fade back into the Universe, they do so knowing the party will not grieve them.

Part of my love for post-canon Loop content stems from my desire to see Loop asking, in their own way, without even realizing it, if the party would fall in love with them again.

The answer is yes. No matter how long it’s been, and how much Loop has changed, I believe that the answer is yes.

[historyartthings]

Description of the primary documents:

Image 9/document 1:

a book of hours. Thomas Becket's name is erased from the calendar of saint's days

Image 10/document 2:

Cromwell's arms in the book of heralds after his fall. 'X's show where they've been crossed out

Image 21/document 3:

'questions to be axid of thomas cromell'

in henry viii's hand, the heading to a list of questions regarding the Cleves marriage

Image 26/document 4:

Cromwell's letter to the king from the tower

Image 28/document 5:

His parliamentary attainder

[voidbeau]

"Vegan" Argos who sources all of his meat from happily willing humans and even other void residents so his meat is cruelty free.

"Vegan" Argos who also makes use of the meat plants via similar methods as above and says all his meat is plant based.

The implied cannibalism and overall consumption of sentient beings in general is already dodgy enough, but let's assume "vegan" Argos is also not above coercion when finding "willing" donors.

Vegan Argos who is very much a butcher with a taste for flesh.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

None of this means anything.

I'm sleepy.

[beanghostprincess]

A tale of daisies & larkspurs

For @sanusoweek || Day 2: Fairy Tale / WLW (pretend this was posted on time)

Relationship: Sanji/Usopp (F/F)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Recommend reading on Ao3 but the main ones are: Transphobia, gender dysphoria, child/domestic abuse, and violence (I swear this is happy too don't get tricked by my angst)

Chapters: 14/14

Summary:

‘I love you’, her mother always says. ‘My precious daughter. My angel.’ But her father’s words are still louder. “It is the only thing he will never be able to obtain.” He turns around to approach her numb body, as she uses her last efforts to hold on to Pedro’s armor. Judge doesn’t smile, but he has all the fun in the world when he frowns with disgust at his son. Son. “A true love kiss.” — Usopp smells like wild berries, daisies, and wood. Like ancient books, fire, and dirt. Like chemicals, poison, and deadly flowers. Like sunlight, wet grass, and thousands of thousands of songs Sanji hasn’t been able to hear. It is impossible to know what a song smells like, but she is quite sure they all have the scent of that music box Usopp made for her. She always brings gifts whenever she comes. It makes the princess feel less trapped and more… It wouldn’t be more, since she isn’t even a bit free. But it makes her feel free. Liberation, that’s what she smells like. Freedom.

Read on Ao3!!!

More of my works!

Check out @aimtodraw's fanart here!!! I loved it so so much and I had to hold myself back from screaming in the middle of work when I saw it--

Also @the-orion-inexpirience's art I asked them to draw quite obviously inspired by this fic!!!!!!! It inspired me so much to keep writing!!!

[soaps-mohawk]

Hey! I love your story so so much and I always look forward to new chapters!

I do have a question though. Is the whole General Shepard cameras thing still is part of the story? I feel like the buildup was so good and then it just disappeared and became unimportant. Like if the guys never find out about it, it's whatever.

I dont mean this as an insult to your writing at all, but I'm just wondering if it's gonna come back at all since it's been so long since it's been thought about by the mc.

Again, I love your work

You'll have to wait and see

[caterpillarinacave]

i saw in the tags of your henry and mortmain posts that you’d like people to ask you about them :) — and tbh i’d love to hear more about the parallels between them that you mention in the post :D

Before I begin, I’m so sorry I took so so long to answer! I have been pretty busy and could definitely do a longer breakdown of all this but it’s already been a month and it’s going to drive me insane if I leave thing unanswered any longer. 

I’ll need to do a full re-read of the trilogy to really answer the questions but here are some thoughts that are very interesting to me. Please excuse any incoherent-ness, (and grammar issues, and repetition issues, and poor citation, and spelling, and rambling, etc, etc) i have spent so long staring at the document i wrote this on trying to get my brain to work I may have totally lost the plot. Just trust me guys I’ve got a PhD in Henry Fairchild.  

Lets start off with the most obvious parallel, that being their work. On a strictly physical level the work they do is very similar- they both approach magic through science and vice versa in a notably unique fashion. Stylistically and functionally the things each of them create has a decently sized overla and Henry has no problem understanding Mortmain’s creations. Mortmain favors clockwork for his creations and while Henry doesn’t specifically focus on such things he is very familiar with them, and interested to boot. 

Mortmain is quite brilliant, in multiple ways. Most people could not manage the type of thing he pulls off consistently; Henry *probably* could. It’s worth noting Henry is severely limited by Shadowunter laws; in the third book we see the only reason he hasn’t invented a portal entirely by himself is because he can only work with a specific set of runes (Clockwork Princess, pg. 282). Even working in the tight restraints of Shadowhunter resources, and only being around 21 in the books, he’s extremely competent. 

Furthermore, Henry does not approach things with the period typical Shadowhunter judgement; as a matter of fact he essentially does not function within society as a Shadowhunter. To unpack that lets look at where Mortmain and Henry stand in relation to broader society. 

The London Shadowhunters in this time period can be described, for lack of a better word, as pissy. Judgmental, bored, aggressive, whiny, chronically dissatisfied, dramatic, dismissive, sometimes downright cruel, etc, etc. Pissy. They’re really pissy. 

Henry, objectively speaking, does not fit into all this, and is punished for it (see pgs 281-283 CP3). The general public treats him horribly. Recall in Clockwork Angel Charlotte tells Tessa that Henry was the one who told Mortmain what a Pyxis was (which is, again, a different rant), that he wants her to tell the Clave and that she won’t because “they already treat him so badly”. And they do- nearly every single interaction involving him and broader Shadowhunter society involves some sort of insult, mockery, slight, etc. Almost nobody but Charlotte ever objects to this behavior and her objections have zero effect. “Making fun of Henry” is pretty much an unopposed standard. 

There’s no fair reason for this. Henry is, by all accounts, an extremely pleasant person. He’s repeatedly described as “kind”- Tessa has him pinned as a trustworthy person almost immediately (“it’s only Henry, after all”). He’s rarely upset, laid back, well intentioned, and generally polite. He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. 

Imo he probably would have been treated better if he did respond in kind- or even if he had just fully withdrawn from Shadowhunter society. His persistent refusal to hold a grudge, a generally positive trait, shoots him in the foot. This is only compounded by his general disinterest in things like physical fighting, politics, and social structure. He hasn’t done anything wrong- quite the opposite- but he’s being punished by his peers for the crime of being earnestly odd (coughhasblatantlyautisticcough). 

Mortmain, being a human child raised by warlocks, obviously does not fit into any particular standard. He doesn't have any particular loyalty to a party. Rather, he mostly defines his identity with his hatred for Shadowhunters, and connects with other groups transactionally with this in mind. 

He has been wronged by the Shadowhunters, when his parents were killed and then in the aftermath. The Clave denying his request for reparations and, by extent, denying any wrongdoing in their actions, is a smack in the face from a powerful society. 

With this in mind they would be both well within their rights to resent the Shadowhunters and they respond to that in fully opposite ways. 

Henry doesn’t resent them- at all. Despite how horribly he is treated, which, one can note, does not stop after the battle of Cadair Idris, he chooses to let it go and actively work to make life better for those same people. (Clockwork Prince; “You know it isn't just tinkering for me. You know I want to create something that will make the world better, that will make things better for the Nephilim.”), He views that cruelty as a part of life as a Shadowhunter but not the defining part of that society. It’s just a thing that happens- it sucks, it hurts, but he’s not going to blame or punish the whole group because of it. 

Mortmain’s is entirely the opposite. He hates them and views all the Shadowhunters as irredeemably wrong, fully deserving of a violent fate. All of them. He’s obsessed with destroying all these people despite most of the individuals who hurt him directly being gone. He blames them all, intends to carry out a mass punishment and doesn’t care about anything else.

He is deeply resentful, yeah, but he also wants more for himself. He doesn’t just want revenge, he wants a disgusting amount of power, a total victory over anything he choses, power mainly for the sake of having power. 

Now we can circle back to that earlier point- Henry could be like Mortmain. 

Recall in Clockwork Angel when they first bring back the automaton for Henry to examine in his lab he’s not just interested in the machine- he’s excited about it.He recognizes it to be a brilliant work of science and design, something incredibly impressive and compelling. This is not the sort of thing anyone sees everyday and it’s certainly not the sort of thing a Shadowhunter would interact with. This is exactly the sort of thing he loves, the sort of thing nobody else ever brings up, and it’s exciting to see. 

As the books continue nobody else is ever caught up on the functional skills of the machinery itself. People talk about Mortmain, about what is happening, what to do, etc, etc, but the fact that the automatons are a feat of engineering is just not on anybody's radar. It’s not the sort of thing any Shadowhunter gives shit about, save Henry. 

So Henry has the same intellectual capacity as Mortmain, the same scientific and magical capacity, and a not dissimilar approach to thinking. 

He could pretty much disappear and do whatever he wanted forever. He could ditch the Nephilim. He could walk off without telling anybody and never bother with the Clave’s again. He could go off and study all the things Shadowhunter’s are banned from. He could create whatever he wanted completely unencumbered by the restrictions of the Nephilim (see pg.283 of CP3). Chances are nobody would pick up on it. One of the major flaws of that group of Shadowhunters is that they’re very self focused. If someone they aren’t particularly fond of, who doesn’t fit into their narrow view of someone that deserves respect, stops showing up and interacting with them they are not gonna make any real effort to figure out where they’ve gone. If Henry wasn’t around to “annoy” them none of them wouldn't go looking for him and they don’t have enough respect for innovation to wonder what he’s up to. 

Remember, nobody cares about what he does (Clockwork Princess: Henry blushed a scarlet color. It was clear that no one had ever complimented his inventing before, except perhaps Charlotte. Pg. 282 ) 

He could have a whole new world of resources without having to deal with a society that thoroughly rejects him. He could do the one thing everyone thinks he loves the most. Hell, from an outsider point of view, the only thing he loves. He’ll happily spend days straight working, forgetting to eat, sleep, or anything else.

It’s theoretically not difficult to imagine a universe where he skips out of Shadowhunter society completely and has been wandering around the same circles as Mortmain for forever. 

(He doesn’t ofc because that would be betrayal. It would require breaking the law, throwing away all social and civic responsibility, abandoning the whole kit and kaboodle, blah blah, certainly not related to other very elaborate thoughts I have about this character.)

The point here is that they are so similar save that fact. Their scientific approach to the world, which absolutely defines that way Henry exists and, at least at some point in his life, probably defined Mortmain, are so similar. If you laid the basic facts all out to someone with no context other previous knowledge on the characters (here is what they do, here is what they’re best at, here is what they bring physically to the table etc and exclude personality, morality, relationships, etc) and asked them to point out a character most like Mortmain they’d probably point to Henry. 

Hell, I’d point to Henry. I’d say yeah, that’s a set up for someone to go full mad scientist and wander off to do whatever he wants. I’d say that's the character most likely to agree to use human bodies to power machinery. 

Recall back to Clockwork Angel (and like, two paragraphs ago) about the automatons that are so fascinating to Henry. The beginning scene is the most exciting he  ever is about this incredible tech:

“[The automaton] is not precisely a living creature at all… A mechanical creature, made to move and appear as a human being moves and appears. Leonardo da Vinci designed one. You can find it in his drawings- a mechanical creature that could sit up, walk, and turn its head. He was the first to suggest that human beings are only complex machines, that our insides are like cogs and pistons and cams made of muscle and flesh. So why could they not be replaced with copper and iron? Why couldn’t you build a person? But this. Jaquet Droz and Maillardet could never have dreamed of this. A true biomechanical automaton, self moving, self directing, wrapped in human flesh.” His eyes shone. “It’s beautiful.” 

“Henry.” Charlotte’s voice was tight. “That flesh you’re admiring. It came from somewhere.” 

Henry passed the back of his hand across his forehead, the light dying out of his eyes. “Yes- those bodies in the cellar.” (pg. 160-161, Clockwork Angel. )

That characteristic earnest excitement that he displays towards nearly everything new dies on the spot. “Miranda” and the other automatons are not less interesting because they’re made with human body parts- if anything that should make it more interesting. But the scientific brilliance is negated by the cruelty associated with it. It’s impressive, it’s “beautiful” and it’s not worth it. Innovation that opposes life, as opposed to promoting it, doesn’t count (see tags). 

So their work, especially in this context, is interchangeable- it’s their intentions that make the whole difference. 

Tessa says it best in Clockwork Princess; Henry brings things to life. Mortmain destroys. Where one of them has devoted his life to protecting people, regardless of how he’s been treated, the other one has devoted himself to slaughtering people, because of how he was treated. Where one invents with the specific intention of protecting life 

In other words, two very very similar people differentiated by a fundamental love for humanity and a fundamental disregard of it. 

TLDR: I need to reread the books to make this post but their style of work, approach to science and magic, and interests parallel. Also I have no idea if I’m coherent anymore please ranting in the tags for thoughts on everything here. 

TLDR the TLDR: They’re both inventing shit in a series hinged around these things that have been invented

[birdy-brainrot]

The mad triad

[sanchoyo]

got a visit today by a friend :)

[dizzybizz]

Remy and Remy (from Ratatouille)

I would love to see them cook some stew with ingredients from the farm! :)))

remy's unite 💪

[perelka-l]

wehehehe i love talking about archer hes so delulu

like im sure he is well taken care of- hes 2nd in command at Team Rocket, Giovanni clearly appreciates his skills and I'm sure hes rewarded for it. But he wants more!!! he wants more than to climb the corporate ladder he wants his boss to See his effort and contributions and devotion-

he also really wants his boss but he keeps that to himself (or he thinks he does but gio knows lmao)

I feel like Giovanni definitely is here to get the most out of this situation and he dangles praise and a hint of affection to get Archer to work harder. it's basically always like i know youre a good boy youre gonna do good job and archer will immediately jump to the task like YES IM GOOD BOY

And I am equally delulu about him ;w;

Archer always aiming to get more and he just rolls his eyes when he gets asked if he'd like to take over TR. Like, no! He is in a perfect place already, and I think he knows he's appreciated (after all, he is literally second in command), he knows there is nowhere higher up he wants to go. Alas, things he wants are not within... professional area anymore.

Tbh I don't think he'd like to be repaid for all he did. Like, in my mind it would make more sense if he didn't even expect to get anything more than he has. He is on top of the world, he is sharing the top of the world with Giovanni - and yes, he hungers, fantasizes, desires more, but he doesn't even expect to get any of this, ever.

Giovanni though wouldn't be where he is either without being pretty damn perceptive. He knows how to pull strings, and Archer's are incredibly easy to pull for him. And... he knows he can't reward Archer any more than he already is rewarded, so praise and time together is all he can (and is willing to) offer and Archer gladly accepts all of that. It works for them, though I enjoy the thought of Giovanni sometimes giving a little bit more, just to see how Archer would react (always the same way).

(akin to putting a slab of fresh meat in front of a starving dog, but dog is too well trained to move and get it and eat it without his master's unlocking the leash, even when it's loose and no matter how much the dog is hungry)

[sysig]

Escort mission (Patreon)

[randominchident]

the good luck charm

⋆ 𐙚 ̊. max vertsappen x reader ⋆ 𐙚 ̊.

you kiss max's forehead one race morning "for luck". he wins. it becomes a thing.

It started as a joke. As most things do.

You were both exhausted and half-dressed in a hotel room in Monza, Max trying to stretch out sore muscles while you searched (unsuccessfully) for your other shoe. Something about the early morning, the nerves, the jetlag, the weird sleepy love you always carry for him—it made you lean in, cup his face in both hands, and press a long kiss to his forehead.

"May your tires be warm, your brakes be cool, and your competitors forget how to drive," you said solemnly, eyes still half closed.

He gave you the flattest look imaginable, though the end of his ears blushed a faint pink from the kiss. As they always did. “What are you doing?”

“Blessing you,” you replied, as if it was obvious. As if it had happened a hundred times before. "So you win."

Max snorted, jokingly thanked you for your wise words, and then won the race.

The next weekend in Baku, just before he headed back into the garage, he stopped in front of you. Didn’t say anything. Just stood there with his helmet under one arm, brows raised. Waiting.

You blinked at him. “…Yes?”

Max looked around and then lowered his voice. “Aren’t you gonna do your weird blessing thing?”

You smiled. You were obnoxious about it. You made it a whole scene. Two hands to his cheeks, a huge dramatic smooch in the exact middle of his forehead, a made-up chant about tire degradation and curses upon the other drivers' decision making capabilities. He pretended to hate it.

He won again.

Now it’s a ritual. It practically part of his warm up routine.

He always finds you. Doesn’t matter if it’s Silverstone or Suzuka, if you're sitting quietly in hospitality or standing in the garage trying not to get run over by a mechanic on a scooter. He finds you. Every single race.

Helmet in hand. Suit half-zipped. That laser-focus look on his face until he sees you. Then it softens—just slightly. His jaw unclenches. His hands flex like they want to hold something. You.

You rise on your toes, brush your lips across his forehead, whisper the familiar words: “For luck.” Because sometimes he doesn't need the big speech, the dramatic show, the curses upon the other cars—he just needs you.

He never says much. Just nods, or gives you the tiniest smile. Once, after a win, he muttered “works better than pole” with a blush he tried to pass off as heat exhaustion.

You didn’t tease him for it. Much.

One day the camera's pick it up, and suddenly it becomes clear that your little tradition is not a secret and private as you once thought. Even the Sky Sports commentary team has something to say:

“And there’s Max Verstappen’s girlfriend giving him—what’s clearly become—a bit of a pre-race tradition. Can’t argue with results.”

It's nice. You like being part of the flow of race day. Its nice to be relied upon, even for something as small as this.

And then… one weekend, you’re not there.

You tried. You really did. But your flight got cancelled, the backup was overbooked, and Red Bull’s private jet was full of engineers and people who don’t think “I give Max forehead kisses before lights out” qualifies as essential personnel.

You call him from the airport instead, bags at your feet, coffee in hand. Max offered to send his own jet back to pick you up, but it would never have arrived in time.

“I’m sorry,” you say. “I really wanted to be there.”

Max is quiet on the other end. “You tried.”

“I’ll scream your blessing into the sky from here, okay?”

He huffs a laugh, but it sounds tight. “Might need it. Grid’s a mess.”

“You’ll handle it. You always do.”

You want to say more. Something sappy. But you can already hear noise in the backgorund of the call. He's being pulled away by Christian or Helmut or someone asking about tires. So you settle for, “I love you. Drive safe.”

His voice softens. “Love you too.”

Back at the track, people notice something’s… off.

He’s still fast—because of course he is—but there’s a tension in his shoulders. The calm, razor-sharp version of Max that usually shows up on race day feels thinner, more like a mask.

Christian corners him right before the anthem. “You good?”

“Fine,” Max says. Short. Clipped. Cold.

But his eyes keep scanning the garage, looking for something—or someone—he knows isn’t there.

The race goes okay. Not amazing. A few things go wrong. His start is messy. Pit stop’s a second too slow. He finishes second, which for anyone else would be great, but for Max it’s a shrug and a “whatever.” Second place always hurts. Always has for him.

After the cooldown room, after media, after debrief, he ducks away from everyone and finally calls you.

“You cursed me,” he says.

“Sorry?”

“I had no forehead kiss. And now look. P2. Disaster.”

You smile, curling up in the airport lounge chair. “Guess you need me, huh?”

He exhales like he doesn’t want to say yes, but then, quietly: “Yeah. I do.”

And then impossibly quieter: "I always do."

The next weekend, you’re definitely there.

He doesn’t even say hello when he finds you sat in the garage. He just walks up, stands in front of you, and tilts his head down expectantly.

You blink. “Wow. No ‘how are you,’ no hug—just forehead service?”

He glares at the ground, but there is a small smile on his face that you can just barely see. “Do the thing.”

You grin, place your hands on his cheeks, and kiss him gently on the forehead.

“For luck,” you murmur.

He exhales. Content. “There it is.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“Says the one casting spells on my head.”

You lean in a little. “They work, don’t they?”

Max just smiles. The small, secret one. The one he saves for you. Then he nods.

After he wins that race, he dedicates it to the team. Then, on the radio, voice quieter:

“Tell her thanks. It worked again.”

You hear it. Of course you do. And when he lifts the trophy, champagne flying, there’s a tiny smile on your face that says yeah. you’re welcome.