#I thank the creators for that time skip for so many reasons

[hi-im-your-friend-now]

I noticed this because it’s MEEEEE GUYS ITS MEEEE!!

What in the boiling isles is this--

I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZED

Also, Link to the Twitter Post

[wwinterwitch]

right person, all the wrong times - anthony bridgerton

summary: you and anthony have been in love with one another from the moment you met, but it seems as though nothing will ever happen between you. after you catch the attention of another gentleman, he realizes perhaps it's time to finally do something about his feelings pairing: anthony bridgerton x fem!reader word count: 7.3K tags: mutual pining, best friends to lovers, angst and fluff, period-typical topics (marriage is everything, gender roles, all that stuff), daphne being match maker as always, kissing, it gets briefly suggestive like once, if i skipped anything please let me know. note: i started this show two days ago and i'm already halfway through season 2. i couldn't hold myself from writing whatever this is and i thought i'll share since it's the longest fic i've ever written. english is not my first language so writing in a way that resembles the show was a whole challenge for me!

a reblog and/or comment really helps me out as a content creator so thank you in advance if you take the time to do either!

all masterlists | buy me a coffee

You and Anthony have been best friends for years now. Even when he's a few years older than you, the two of you became inseparable shortly after knowing one another. No one seems to know or understand you quite like he does, and you've become the person he always turns to when he needs someone.

It happened just a few months after you were introduced into society. You were lucky to bump into him that night in Ms. Danbury's ballroom, and after repeated apologies and quick introductions, you stayed with him for the rest of the event.

Your families were excited to see the two of you talking, already picturing the moment when he shows up to your house and asks for your hand in marriage. However, as time passed, it was evident for everyone that nothing was ever going to happen.

And as embarrassing as it is to admit, you were just as disappointed to realize Anthony considered you to be just a friend. From day one, you were absolutely captivated by him, and you truly thought he was as interested as you were. Unfortunately, it seems as though your feelings have never been –and never will be– reciprocated.

Of course, you never let that stop you from trying to find in others what you so effortlessly found in Anthony from the moment you laid eyes on him. It hasn't been easy, but you continue to look for that special someone.

Despite everyone knowing about your proximity to the Viscount, a fair share of suitors were always there available for you. Some move past the mere privilege of dancing with you if they prove to be interesting enough, but none of them have made it far enough.

Perhaps the search would be easier if you weren't deeply in love with your best friend, but there's no way you'll ever be able to control how you feel. You can't control the butterflies in your stomach when you notice him approaching you, or how it seems as though everyone around disappears when you two are together.

Anthony doesn't contribute to making your situation any easier. His friendship is one of the greatest gifts you've ever received, but it has caused you a great deal of pain and confusion. Even when he's nothing but your friend– even when he has confided in you many times that marriage is the last thing on his mind, you can't help but notice certain things. Certain gestures, certain stares...he has surely given you reasons to believe your feelings might be reciprocated.

One of the many things he does that inevitably lifts your hopes up is the fact that he absolutely despises every possible suitor you've ever had. Whether he claims to know them and they're the worst person imaginable, or he starts speculating based on his own prejudices, it seems as though no man is worthy of you in Anthony's eyes. You've always wondered why he's so adamant about that claim.

"There you are!" Daphne excitedly greeted you one evening at yet another social gathering. "I was afraid I'd miss the chance to spend even a moment with you tonight, considering how busy you seem to be with all your suitors," she smiles, quickly glancing across the room.

"Well, I could say the same thing. I've seen you dance for most of the night," you remark. "I bet your brother is furious."

"Oh, believe me, he is! But I'm not the only one he's concerned about," her smile only grows after her insinuation. It's no secret that Daphne has always hoped for you to officially join their family, as she's convinced her brother is ridiculously in love with you. "I was only able to escape from him because he couldn't stop telling Benedict just how awful the men you were dancing or talking to are."

"He does have that habit, yes. Poor Benedict," you joke, turning around to spot the two brothers still talking.

Before Daphne could say a thing, a man approached the two of you. As you laid eyes on him, you recognized him as the first gentleman you had a dance with tonight. Both of you smiled at him as he extended his hand your way. "May I have another dance with you, my lady?"

You look at Daphne, who quickly takes a step back to let you know you can go. He gently grabs your hand once you've accepted his invitation, guiding you to the dance floor.

Mr. Demrick is a fine gentleman. He's been nothing but kind, charming and attentive, not to mention he's ridiculously handsome. This isn't the first evening you two have crossed paths, having the honor of dancing a few times before. He seems to have a strong interest in you. Your Mama has expressed many times that it's a matter of time before he's asking for your hand.

You do, however, notice a big flaw in this seemingly perfect man. He's no Anthony Bridgerton.

And speaking of, as you're dancing with Mr. Demrick's hand on your back and the other gently holding one of your own, you can't help but notice Anthony exactly where he once was. He's already looking your way and even from a distance you notice he's as stiff as ever, arms crossed, muttering things to Benedict.

It leaves you to wonder once again if he's being protective over his friend or if there's a deeper meaning to his apparent disgust for all the men that have ever shown interest in you.

After that night, Mr. Demrick's interest in you was more evident than ever. All Daphne could talk about with Lady Bridgerton and your Mama during supper the next day was the different bouquet of flowers he sent you and how breathtakingly beautiful they were.

"Needless to say, I'm very happy for you," Daphne seems to be finished with her talk about the flowers, turning to look at you from across the table. "You two make a very lovely match."

"No doubt you'll be very happy with such a nice and handsome gentleman for a husband," Lady Bridgerton agrees.

Everyone quickly turns to look at Anthony when he lets out a quick chuckle, looking down at his food and pretending he was barely listening.

"Something wrong, Anthony?" Lady Bridgerton asks shortly after with a rather serious tone.

He finally looks up, smiling at his mother. "Not at all. Please, continue with your...delightful chat."

You glared at him and despite you trying to ignore it, something deep within you made it impossible not to say something else regarding Mr. Demrick just to upset Anthony further. "He has invited my family to a picnic to meet his own," you say, noticing the way your best friend immediately turns to look at you with a horrified expression.

"We're really looking forward to that," your mother chimes in, trying to keep the conversation going after Anthony's interruption.

"Cheers to that!" Eloise exclaimed ironically, and you noticed she was looking directly at her eldest brother. "A man brave enough to pursue the heart of a lady is always a reason to celebrate, right?"

Now it was Colin and Benedict the ones who couldn't hold back their laughter after noticing their brother's reaction to that comment.

"What's so funny?" Hyacinth asks, looking impossibly confused.

Eloise's comment evidently made everything a lot worse. Little Gregory joins his sister in their inquiry to know what was going on, until Lady Bridgerton ordered them to stay quiet.

You didn't like El's insinuation one bit, as it does nothing to help with your delusions, but at least you were appreciative of the fact that she was willing to be with you on this one despite her disgust towards the whole idea of marriage and the position a woman is put in because of it. Perhaps she's willing to overlook that detail for the sake of upsetting one of her siblings.

As soon as dinner was over, Anthony offered to accompany you and your mother outside to your carriage. You didn't protest, and quickly calmed Daphne and Lady Bridgertons worries after they started apologizing fervently for his behavior during the evening.

Anthony immediately knew you were upset. It was evident in the way you walked in complete silence without acknowledging he was there next to you.

"Can I have a word with you before you leave?" Anthony asks as soon as the three of you are outside the Bridgerton home.

"Is it okay? If you're too tired we can leave right away."

"It's perfectly fine, dear. I'll wait in the carriage," your Mama replies. "Thank you, Lord Bridgerton, but there's no need," she quickly added when Anthony offered his arm to help her walk down the steps of the entrance. "Please reiterate my gratitude to my dear Violet for having us today."

"Of course," he nodded, returning your Mama's smile. Even when he behaves rather poorly, your mother absolutely adores him. It warms your heart to see how good they get along.

Your Mama walks to the carriage, leaving you and Anthony alone. "I apologize for my behavior tonight."

"I don't think your apologies are sincere."

"I don't know what else do you expect, if I'm being honest," he replies, and immediately knows he has to say something because of your reaction to that comment. "That man is not a good match for you. He's not on your level, and I'm quite certain that he won't be able to make you happy."

"How could you possibly know that?"

"Because I know you. And I know when someone is not right for you."

You scoffed. "No one ever seems to be good enough for me."

Anthony nodded. "Yes, exactly."

"Can't you just be happy for me? Or at least pretend that you are?" you ask, exasperated. It's one thing that he doesn't reciprocate your feelings, but to stand here and claim to be your best friend when he acts like this is something entirely different. Something you can't and won't stand for. "I don't understand why you have to try to ruin every chance I get to find someone."

"Because," he says sternly, as if it was obvious. But is it really that obvious? Is it obvious to you, or even to him?

A dim light of hope shines through in the depths of your heart, knowing very well how dangerous that has been in the past. "Because what?"

He stood there in front of you, looking rather troubled. You notice the way he hesitates and for a moment you almost could've sworn he wanted to take a step closer to you.

But that never happened, and instead all you got was a "because you're my best friend, and I care about you," from him. The same thing you've heard over and over. That godforsaken phrase that has shattered your heart into million pieces over the years.

You try to hide your disappointment, looking up at him with a stern glance. "If I'm truly your best friend, you'd support my decisions instead of brutally questioning them like you always do."

With that said, you didn't wait for any sort of answer as you quickly walked towards your carriage, barely acknowledging your driver and your mother as you headed back home.

Anthony watches as you walk away, once again feeling like a complete fool for not saying something else. For not daring to take that extra step and reveal the real reason why he won't accept anyone else as your husband. It's quite simple, really. The real reason is that he wants to be the one you marry.

But he didn't say anything yet again, and all that's left for him to do is go back inside his house to listen to Eloise and Daphne calling him a fool while the rest agree with them. He doesn't say much about their claims, as they couldn't possibly be more true.

This is exactly what he deserves for acting so cowardly. He gets shamed by his siblings for not doing something about his feelings while you go home, probably thinking about that absurd picnic with Mr. Demrick until you go to sleep.

Next day, you try to forget all about Anthony Bridgerton and focus on your date with Mr. Demrick. Your families were sitting around all together while he asked if you would like to take a walk with him.

He's lovely. Offering his arm for you, complimenting you every chance he gets, making you laugh with his endless anecdotes and quick remarks. He's everything you should need, yet your mind wanders back to your best friend. You can't help it. All you want is for him to be the one kissing your hand and telling you you're the most captivating sight of all.

Your Mama could barely hold her excitement when she read what Lady Whistledown had to say about you and Mr. Demrick after the families were seen spending time together. "The union of the season", she called it. And it shouldn't come as a surprise, as both of you come from wealthy and respected families. It's evident everyone takes a great interest in the possible union.

Still, you were very much intimidated by it, as all eyes will be on you until there's news about an engagement.

And just as you predicted, every lady turned to look at you as you went to visit the modist for a new dress for the next ball. You must look absolutely perfect to earn the approval of everyone and capture Mr. Demrick's heart for good.

At that point, the realization finally started to settle. You're soon becoming a wife, moving to your own home and starting a family. And all of that with a man that you respect and care for, but are incapable of loving.

But perhaps this arrangement will make your feelings for Anthony become nothing but a memory. A memory you won't even care to think about when you have such a wonderful husband by your side.

Days passed and Mr. Demrick continued to send all sorts of gifts to your house. You made the choice of inviting him over so the two of you could spend more time together before the next ball. He was sitting on a couch with your mother while you played the piano for them.

"That was certainly a very beautiful performance," he says once you're done playing. "And you said you composed that yourself?"

"Indeed. I like spending my days playing the piano," you smile brightly.

The entire reunion was quickly ruined when someone burst inside the room. You turn around in your seat to find Anthony standing there, barging in completely unannounced and unexpectedly. It was unclear to you why you felt the need to stand up from your seat to greet him but you did, feeling your heart rapidly beating in your chest at the sight of him.

Oh, how badly you've missed him.

"What are you doing here, Anthony?" you ask, immediately remembering your soon-to-be fiancée and your mother are also in the room. "I'm afraid I'm with a guest right now. Whatever it is, it'll have to wait, my lord."

You never call him that, ever. It was evident by his reaction that he absolutely hated the fact that you refer to him as such.

"My apologies. I didn't mean to disrupt, but I believe it's an urgent matter."

"My lord, I–"

"I must insist," he quickly cuts you off, looking rather desperate.

You try to come up with something to say, knowing you should stand your ground and make him leave, but you were so happy to be in his presence again that the feelings completely clouded your judgment.

"No worries, my lady," you hear Mr. Demrick say, standing up from his seat and sending you a reassuring smile. "I'm sure whatever Lord Bridgerton is here for requires your immediate attention, given his insistence," he added shortly after, giving Anthony a not so friendly look. "I'm sure we can visit the gardens while we wait?"

Your mother nodded after his question. "Of course. That should be more than enough time for Lord Bridgerton to communicate his urgent matter."

Neither Mr. Demrick nor your mother were pleased by Anthony's presence, but you couldn't thank them enough from sparing you this one time. You know this man like no one else does, and you're certain that he wouldn't take a no for an answer and that would've made the situation a lot worse.

"Perfect," Mr. Demrick says before gesturing for your mother to lead the way. Before he leaves the room, he gives Anthony one last look before turning his attention back to you. "Perhaps we should discuss where you'd like your new piano to be in our future home once I'm back. I'd love for my wife to continue doing what she enjoys, especially when she's so extraordinary at it."

You smile after his comment, trying your best not to look at Anthony until Mr. Demrick is officially gone because you can imagine his features are clearly expressing his thoughts regarding that last comment. Once both of them are out of sight, you finally look at him.

"What is wrong with you?" you snapped almost immediately. "I'm glad Mr. Demrick is a patient and understanding man! He could've easily decided to leave the very instant you walked through that door demanding to have a word with me."

"I think he's captivated enough, my dear. I doubt you'll ever get rid of him," he replies, evidently disgusted by the thought of him.

"I don't intend to get rid of him. And do not call me that again."

"Why not? I've always called you that."

"That was before I met Mr. Demrick. Now, it is completely inappropriate."

"Oh, please. It's not like you're already his wife."

"But I will be soon," you point out. He's quiet after that, which gives you room to continue talking. "You must understand that a married woman cannot have other men calling her such things."

"So am I supposed to start addressing you like you're nothing but a stranger? Or perhaps you'd like me to already start calling you Mrs. Demrick? Is that how things will go? You marry this insufferable man and I have to just accept the fact that I no longer have my best friend?"

"I don't know what else you want me to say," you mutter, feeling like you could cry any minute now. "This was going to happen sooner or later."

"It was never supposed to be this way," he sighs, and your soul aches for him when you notice the way he's looking at you. Defeated, exhausted, disappointed, frustrated. You've never seen this particular mixture of emotions reflected in his eyes before.

"And how exactly it was supposed to be?"

Anthony was quiet, too quiet for your liking. You see his hesitation once again and you brace yourself to hear yet another confirmation of the fact that you're nothing but a friend. It doesn't matter that he glances at you from across the room like he can't help himself. It doesn't matter that all the Bridgerton siblings have made insinuations about you and Anthony's relationship. It's all in your head, because you're nothing but a friend.

In a surprising turn of events, you watch as he takes a few steps closer to you. He's cautious of every move, not wanting to scare you– or himself. The beat of your heart speeds up and your hands shake slightly when he's finally in front of you.

You look up at him like a deer coming face to face with a hunter, but in this case you're unable to run away for your life. He's dangerously close to you, gently moving his hand up to touch your face.

The second his fingers brush against your cheek, a shiver travels down your spine and you can't help but close your eyes because his touch is absolutely heavenly. Your breath hitches in the back of your throat when his digits trace down your neck until his hand settles there, holding you with his fingers behind your ear and his thumb still caressing the skin of your face.

"It should go like this," he whispers, and you finally open your eyes to see him looking at you with such adoration, you were certain your legs could betray you any second now and completely give in, causing you to fall straight to the ground.

He leans slightly closer after seconds of just contemplating you, and even though you closed your eyes again, feeling his nose brushing against yours, you're able to snap out of your trance before he could actually kiss you.

"It's not right..." you're able to say, pulling back from him but not nearly enough. He's still very much holding you.

"It is, my dear. I can tell you wish for this as badly as I do."

"Please, Anthony..." you try, but your body betrays you when your hand is resting on his bicep.

"I've always adored the way my name sounds when it's you the one calling me," he confesses, and your stomach fills with butterflies.

You realize he's leaning closer again, but before he can do so you manage to gather all traces of self-control that were almost stripped from you to move back, setting free of his touch.

Anthony stands there, absolutely confused and heartbroken, and is right then when you can't keep your tears in any longer.

"I'm afraid it is too late," you mutter. This has got to be the most painful thing you'll ever have to do. "I'm getting engaged soon."

"But you're not anyone's yet. There's still time if you haven't accepted any proposals."

"Please, don't make this any harder than it should be," you sob, wiping your tears away.

"Darling–"

"Believe me, no one would want this more than me," you interrupted. "You have no idea how many times I've found myself fantasizing about this very moment. For you to say all of this, to be yours forever..." Tears continue to roll down your cheeks and the sight is too much for Anthony to endure, as his own eyes are starting to fill with tears as well. "But it is not possible anymore. I'm sorry, I really am. I won't ask you to understand or accept my decision, but I'd appreciate that you can at least respect it."

"I won't. I refuse to let you marry someone else when we both know we belong together."

"Anthony, Mr. Demrick–"

"You still can't even call your future husband by his own name?"

You sigh, frustrated. "Charlie will become my husband. I don't doubt that he'll be an excellent companion, and that you'll find someone else in time. Soon enough, we'll be nothing but a memory."

"Is that really what you want?" he asks, and your heart sinks when you notice his voice breaking slightly.

You take a few seconds to answer. Of course that's not what you want. You want Anthony to be your husband. You'll always want him and him only. But it's already too late for any of that.

Feeling more heartbroken than ever before, you have to look back at Anthony and fight the urge to run to his arms. "Yes. And I also want you to leave."

Anthony was barely keeping it together, not wanting to cry in front of you. He's once again taking a few steps closer to you, but stops at a reasonable distance to grab your hand to kiss it. "Very well, my lady," he says with a quick bow of his head. "I apologize for wasting so much of your time. Let me assure you, I'll never bother you again."

He let your hand go and immediately turned to the door to leave. As soon as you no longer hear his footsteps, you fall to your knees and allow yourself to cry, feeling like the sorrows from this conversation will haunt you for the rest of your days.

Knowing Mr. Demrick and your mother could be here any minute, you decided to stand up from the ground as soon as you could to lock yourself in your room, where you could be away from everyone for a while until you feel ready to go downstairs and pretend you're content with this life that you've chosen for yourself today.

You really know you shouldn't, as you've played a part just as big as his in the downfall of everything you could've had together, but you can't help it as you curse Anthony for taking so long. You curse him for deciding to do something about his affection for you when it's far too late. And most importantly, you curse him because despite knowing it's over, you are certain that there's nothing you can do to ever get over your feelings for him.

As soon as you realize you're being unfair by putting all the blame on him, you also curse yourself for being as blind and coward as he was. And you curse life itself while you're at it, because you feel like making everyone and everything responsible for not being able to live the life that you wanted.

―

It's been a few days after the last time you and Anthony spoke. Just days, but it has felt like years and years without him. He hasn't reached out to you, and you couldn't deny that not having him around was absolute torture. There was no greater pain than this.

But you were hopeful that you could see him again at tonight's ball. It was all you could think about as you were getting ready.

"You look lovely, sister," the youngest of your family says, watching as one of the maids is finishing with your hair. "I can't wait to join all of you next season!"

"Thank you, my dearest," you smile at her. "I cannot wait for that either. Perhaps I can help you choose your dress and do your hair for your first ball."

"Yes, please!"

Your youngest sister stayed in your room with you until it was time for everyone to leave. Your father waited by the door while your mother put all of your siblings in line to check their appearance and make sure everyone was looking flawless.

Like the Bridgertons, your family was also quite large. Your older sister is already married so she no longer lives with you, but your parents still have a handful of children to take care of. Your two older brothers haven't married yet and neither have you. There's also your little sister, who's debuting next season, and your baby brother who's barely ten years old.

To this day, you have no idea how they were able to handle the chaos that six children can bring. For that, you admire them deeply.

Once your mother made sure everything was in order, you and your brothers followed her and your father to the carriage. They start a conversation, but you're barely paying any attention, as Anthony is keeping your head occupied again.

Eventually, you reach the residence where the ball's taking place and the five of you make your way inside. As all of you are standing outside the doors of the hall where the event is taking place, you feel a hand reaching out to grab yours. You turn around to look at your mother staring at you with a sympathetic smile.

"I'm so sorry, Mama," you say out of nowhere, though it's practically the only thing you've been able to say to her lately.

"You made the right choice, dear," she reassures you. "Are you ready?"

You nod, inhaling deeply before your mother lets go of you, standing with your father as they wait for you to take the first step. As soon as all of you are entering the room, you notice everyone staring your way, their eyes still filled with expectancy and excitement.

They still believe you're going to marry Mr. Demrick.

You quickly scan the room as you walk down the stairs, the familiar feeling in your stomach appearing when you spot Anthony along with his siblings, his eyes never once leaving you. Despite everything that has happened, he still looks at you like you're the only person in that room.

Your parents go off one way to mingle with other parents attending the event while your siblings scatter around the ballroom to greet their friends and find possible matches.

Having a chance to talk to Anthony was the only reason you decided to attend. Still, you didn't know how and when it'd be okay for you to approach him. Things didn't end on the best of terms, so it's normal for you to have your doubts.

Instead of immediately approaching him, you walk around the room, never losing sight of him. You couldn't help but smile to yourself the first time you catch him looking around the room, unsuccessful to locate you.

"I was hoping to see you tonight," you hear Daphne's voice next to you, sending you back to reality. "You look as beautiful as ever."

"Thank you, so do you."

Your friend smiles at you, briefly looking to where you previously were. "Are you looking for someone?"

"No, not at all," you immediately shake your head, imitating her smile.

"I apologize for what I'm about to say. I don't believe it is the time nor place, but I cannot hold myself back," she says with obvious concern as her smile is replaced with a frown. "My brother told me everything that happened the other day. I don't think I'll ever be able to express how sorry I am."

"Oh, Daphne, that's really not necessary..."

"But I think it is. As ashamed as this makes me, I'm afraid I was the one responsible for his actions."

"What do you mean?"

"I couldn't help but notice the way you two look at each other, or the way you smile when you're together. Believe me, I've never seen my dear brother so infatuated with anyone else before. To see you slip away from him and him doing nothing about it was not only painful, but it angered me enough to intervene," she explains. "After much convincing to do, I finally made him realize he needed to do something about his feelings. Evidently, I stood out of line and got myself involved in something I never should have, and for that I'm terribly sorry."

"You didn't do anything wrong. I know you had good intentions. There's absolutely nothing to forgive."

Daphne reaches out for your hands, relief evident in her features. "I was afraid you wouldn't want to talk to me again. You had all the right to do so, but I'm happy to see I was mistaken."

"I would never do such a thing."

She nodded, glad to know you two are still friends. "Well, with that situation out of the way, allow me to say I'm still very happy about you and Mr. Demrick. My love for my brother won't change the fact that I support your decision entirely."

You debated whether or not to say something, but the hesitation quickly slipped your mind when you looked at Daphne. She's been a great friend, you know there's nothing wrong with confessing this news to her.

She looks a bit confused when you grab her arm to guide her to a corner of the room, as far away from other people as possible. "I appreciate your words, but I'm afraid Mr. Demrick and I are no longer courting."

"Really? Did my imprudence make him change his mind?" she asks, worried she was to blame for this.

"Not at all. He actually proposed to me that very same evening."

"And...you said no?"

"I couldn't marry him, Daphne," you sighed. You'll never forgive yourself from breaking a good man's heart in the way you did with him, but deep down you knew it was the right thing to do. "I couldn't doom him to spend the rest of his life with a woman that doesn't love him the way he deserves."

"I don't judge you for it. My Mama has always taught us that marriage should be formed out of love. It's the only way a union like this can work," you friend offers, immediately wanting to show her support.

"If anything, my dear friend, I should be thanking you for your intervention," you quickly add. "If you never had that chat with your brother, I would've been engaged to a different man by now."

"I...Oh my, are you–?"

"I was as much of a fool as him. I could've said something a long time ago and yet I remained silent. And when he went to my house to give us a chance, I was once again deciding not to do a thing about my feelings. It was only when he left that I realized I made a terrible mistake."

Daphne is once again reaching for your hands, looking more excited than ever after your words. "You have no idea how pleased I am to hear you say all of this."

"You don't think it's too late, do you? I came here to talk to him, after all."

"No, no, not at all! He was devastated when he came back, I've never seen him like that in my life. We got to talk a little– and it's probably best if he's the one who confesses his true feelings in detail to you personally, but there's no doubt in my mind that from everything he said to me, he's deeply, madly and truly in love with you."

"I assure you I love him just as much."

"I don't doubt it either. And I think I speak for all my family when I say there's no one else we would like to be Anthony's wife but you."

"That makes me so happy to hear," you say with obvious excitement. Even Daphne looked like she could start crying any second. "Should I go talk to him now?"

"Please, I'm sure you can't wait any longer! He's over there, with Benedict and Colin."

"I shall tell you how it goes then."

"It'll go wonderful," she assures you, giving you one last smile before she allows you to leave.

Every second of that walk towards Anthony felt like centuries. Your mind spins with all the possible scenarios and everything you're going to say to him, but by the time you're in front of the three siblings your mind is completely blank.

"Gentlemen," was all you could say. The three of them immediately greet you with a quick bow. You notice Benedict and Colin exchanging looks, while Anthony's eyes are fixated on you. "I'd like to have a word with you– alone, if that's okay."

"Of course, my lady," was all he said.

"Oh my, you could cut the tension with a knife," Colin says suddenly. Anthony is so focused on you he barely acknowledges his comment.

"Shush, brother!" Benedict quickly warns, lightly pushing his little brother so he would start walking. "Excuse us," he smiled your way, starting to follow Colin.

You and Anthony are finally alone, but the people around you are still bothering you. "Is it okay if we go outside for a walk?"

"If it's okay with you," he says, a bit confused at first since you two had apparently agreed that you must keep your distance.

Anthony follows you to the gardens in complete silence. The music and chatter could still be heard. You were glad to realize it was only the two of you outside.

"What is it that you wanted to say to me?" he immediately asks, starting to walk next to you.

"I wanted to apologize for everything that happened."

"No need. Like you said, you made your choice and I'll have to respect it."

"It was the wrong choice. I see that now."

He was a bit surprised to hear that, but agreed with you nonetheless. "I'm afraid I can't say otherwise. At least I hope you find comfort in the fact that Mr. Demrick will be a fine husband, as you so fervently claim."

The two of you have reached a part of the garden that surrounds the two of you with large hedges decorated with beautiful flowers. It was then that you stopped walking and turned to look at him, knowing no one would be able to see or interrupt you here.

"I wanted to let you know that Mr. Demrick proposed and I said no," you blurted out simply, not wanting to keep it from him any longer.

"Why?" was all he could say.

"Because," you say, and this time it was painfully obvious.

Anthony couldn't believe your revelation at first, which would explain why he didn't move from his spot at first. As the realization of it all starts to sink in, he immediately walks closer to you and grabs your face with his hands. This time, you let him touch you as your hands move up to place them above his own.

"You're not marrying him?" he asks, barely above a whisper, still not entirely believing it. He really thought he had lost you forever.

You shake your head, unable to hold back your smile any longer. "There's only one man I'd like to marry."

Anthony smiles wider than ever after your comment and he's not able to control himself any longer, immediately closing the space between the two of you as he kisses you.

His kiss is everything you expected and more. So gentle, yet so passionate. It makes you feel like you're the most delicate thing in the entire world, but he must take a taste, so he does eagerly, yet carefully.

The moment doesn't last as much as you expected as he's abruptly pulling away. "Forgive me, I shouldn't have done that."

He takes a step back but he's gladly surprised when you wrap your arms around his neck to stop him. "Don't," you immediately say, "I want you close."

"I really shouldn't, my dear," he insisted, but you can tell it takes everything in him not to kiss you again at that very same moment.

"Is that so?" you tease him, inching just enough. "So you won't continue to kiss me? Not even if I'm so clearly desperate for you to do so?"

He's really trying to remind himself to be a gentleman. "I don't...it's not appropriate."

"Alright, them. It's perfectly fine, Mr. Bridgerton," you promptly agree, moving back from him entirely as you start walking away from him. "Perhaps we should go back then, before anyone notices our absence."

You're barely able to turn around to face him before he's one again in front of you, grabbing the back of your neck to pull you in for another kiss.

This time, the kiss is anything but gentle. His tongue explores your mouth with a hunger completely unknown to you as his hands explore your body. The hand previously holding the back of your neck trails your collarbone before it explores further down, cupping one of your breasts while the other holds you close to his body, resting dangerously close to your ass.

His lips move down to your jaw until they settle on the skin of your neck. You close your eyes as you enjoy the way he explores you, a few moans escaping past your lips that only seem to encourage him further.

"Anthony," you whisper into the darkness of the night, holding onto his shoulders for dear life while he kisses all over your neck.

"You're such a delight, my love," he mutters against your skin. "You drive me absolutely mad."

He moves back to your lips now, your mind clouded with desire for him and making it impossible for you to think of anything else other than how badly you need him to continue to touch you and kiss you. You could never get tired of this.

But much to your disappointment, he's pulling away from you again shortly after. His forehead rests against yours as both of you are gasping for air. You open your eyes when he's no longer leaning against you, just to catch him looking down at you with a smile.

"You're so beautiful," he comments, one of his fingers tracing your lower lip. "I could kiss these lips all day if I could."

"And I'd have no complaints about that."

He chuckles after your comment before taking a second to contemplate your beauty under the moonlight. "I deeply regret wasting so much time we could've spent as husband and wife."

"We have many years to make amends for that."

"Is that so?" he asks with a smile, his arms wrapped around your waist to keep you close.

"Well, that is if you ask for my hand."

"We'll go back to the ball and I'll talk to your father right away."

You fake to be offended by his comment. "Without asking for my opinion on the matter, Lord Bridgerton?"

"Forgive me, how rude of me," he follows along with your theatrics, but you immediately notice the shift in his eyes before he continues. They look softer than ever and shine as bright as all the stars in the sky combined. And you feel warm, at peace, so loved by the man standing before you. "My dearest, from the moment I met you, I knew we were destined to be together. You not only captivated me with your beauty, but with everything that you are. And as I started to know you, you kept proving me right. I saw it in the way you'd stay practicing your music for hours with such intent and passion. I saw it in the way you care so deeply about the ones fortunate enough to have you in their lives. I saw it in the way my mother instantly adored you, and how Hyacinth wouldn't stop asking me to invite you over so she could play with you. There's no doubt in my mind that you are the one for me."

You were completely speechless, absolutely mesmerized by his words. He takes a moment to gently wipe a few tears falling down your cheeks. He has always said to you how he's terrible at things like this, yet here he is proving himself wrong.

"If all previous words hold any room for confusion, allow me to clear it all right away. I've been yours from the moment we met and I couldn't possibly be more in love with you. And there's nothing that would make me happier than spending the rest of my life with you," he continues, finally taking a step back to grab both of your hands as he kneels in front of you. "Would you make me the honor of accepting me as your husband?"

You couldn't stop smiling at that point, immediately nodding after his question. "Yes. Now and forever, it'll always be yes."

Anthony kisses both of your hands before standing up to pull you in for a hug. "It pleases me to hear you accept. For a moment, I feared the tears were a bad sign."

You laugh at his little joke before breaking the hug. "Perhaps we should get back. I'm afraid we've been gone for quite a while now."

"That shouldn't be much of a problem now that we're engaged. I shall ask to have a word with your father as soon as we get back– and ask my mother for her ring."

"Is it okay if I inform Daphne?"

"I have absolutely no objections if you decide to announce the news to every person inside that ballroom, my love. Let everyone know you'll be the next Viscountess. Nothing would make me happier."

He offers his arm and you immediately accept it, starting to walk back to the ball with him– your future husband. At that very moment, you've sworn you've never been happier.

[professorsnape394]

Day 2: The Seeds of Love

Pairing: Severus Snape x OC

Rating: 🥰

Prompt: Garden

Summary: Severus looks forward to the day he stocks up on potions ingredients, and gets to see the new Herbology professor, of course.

A/N: Ngl struggled a little with this one so hopefully it turned out okay.

Warnings: mention of small cut.

Word Count: 1905

Credits to Gif Creator

May 1st 1993. The day Severus’ most anticipated had finally rolled around once more. The first of every month had always been the day the potions master replenished the stock in his ingredient’s cupboard, but in recent years it had quickly become his favourite day for a very different reason. While he never had a close relationship with Professor Sprout, Snape found himself taking a liking to the newest member of the Herbology department, Y/N.

Bubbly, energetic and endlessly optimistic, she was everything Severus was not, this however, had never deterred her from forming a friendship with the man. Severus found that people often shied away from talking to him, simply because they were intimated by him. He had almost convinced himself he preferred it that way. Until, of course, Y/N, took the time to get to know him, never once allowing her opinion of him to be influenced by the other staff members at Hogwarts.

She had integrity. Yet another addition to her list of attributes.

While Pamona had left Severus to help himself to her crops and plants, Y/N remained by his side while he went about his business, even going as far as to ask him in advance what ingredients he might need growing the following month to save him travelling into Hogsmeade.

“Severus.” She beamed. “Back so soon?”

“It doesn’t feel so quick to me.” He mumbled, embarrassed by how much he looked forward to this day. Of course, they saw each other at meal times and in the school halls but the first of the month remained a day for just the two of them.

“What can I get you this fine morning?”

Severus reached into his inner robe pocket, brandishing a hastily scrawled note intended for his eyes only. Before he even had a second to read the first word on the parchment it was whipped from his fingers and Y/N was already bounding down the length of the greenhouse.

Severus couldn’t help but admire the way her hips swung back and forth as she skipped away, it was something that piqued his interest more and more these days. He found himself always noting the movement of her lips as she spoke, the curve of her rear when she bent over a plant bed, the softness of her hands when they innocently brushed his.

“Alihotsy leaves. How many?”

“How much do you have?”

Y/N counted the red spotted leaves on the Hyena tree. “26.”

“I’ll take them all.”

“You’re lucky I like you so much, Severus. Pamona never would have allowed you to clear her out like this.”

“And that, my dear, is exactly why I come to you and not Pamona.”

Y/N blushed at his words, adding the leaves to her small wicker basket.

“And hear I thought we were friends, meanwhile you’ve just been using me for my gardening skills.” She pouted playfully, looking up through her eyelashes at the man nearly twice her height.

“What’s next?” He asked trying to distract himself from her doe-like eyes.

“Silverweed.”

“I’ll only need four of those, I still have some left over from last month.”

“Not a problem, what about Mandrake root are you needing any of that?”

Severus shook his head.

The pair made their way through several greenhouses gradually working his way down the list, Y/N adding each item to her little basket until it was bulging with plants of all different varieties.

“Well, if that’s everything…” The witch trailed off, handing Snape her basket.

“Thank you, Y/n. It’s been a joy as always.”

“So, see you next month?”

As it always did when their time came to an end, Severus’ heart raced and his mind buzzed trying to come up with a reason to extend his stay, only to come up empty once again.

“Next month.” He nodded.

The professor turned to leave with his new stock, feeling a little disheartened with himself.

“I’ve been experimenting!” Y/N suddenly blurted, catching her colleague by surprise.

“Sorry?” Snape raised an eyebrow inquisitively.

“I’ve been experimenting with some new plants; do you want to see them?” She elaborated.

A smile threated to break out across Severus’ features, but he managed to contain it to a small smirk.

“I’d love to.”

“Great!”

Practically vibrating with excitement, the herbology professor hopped towards Snape, grabbing him by the arm and leading him back into the depth of the greenhouses. “I’ve been trying out loads of new plants, but only a few of them have been working for me. Pamona said she’ll help me on my next round of knotgrass but I think it’ll take a while to perfect it. Oh, and did I mention the first years are potting their mandrakes tomorrow, how exciting is that! It’s always my favourite lesson to teach. Except when one student inevitably faints, but can I blame them I know I would have been the exact same when I was that age. Too curious for my own good my mother always used to say.”

Severus allowed Y/N to ramble on as she always did when she was excited about something, it was another reason why he loved spending time with her so much. She would talk for hours and he would listen intently, never boring of what she had to say. Similarly, Y/N never complained about how little Severus added to their conversation. She knew, despite how little he said, he was genuinely interested in what she had to say.

Y/N stopped in front of a sad looking plot of Gurdyroot, her face dropping at the sight of them.

“They should have been ready to pick today, looks like they’ll need uprooted instead. I’m still getting the hang of all the nuances, you know?”

“You’ll get there, it all comes with practice.”

“I know, I just wish it came as naturally to me as it does to Professor Sprout.”

“Hard work is more admirable than natural ability in my opinion.”

“It’s always baffled me, you know?”

“What?” Snapes eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“Why you chose to come to me instead of her. You two had been working together for years, you don’t strike me as a man who breaks routine easily.”

“Let’s just say it was time for a change.” He commented. “Our working relationship had run its course.”

“Does that mean you’ll eventually trade me in for a younger model?” Y/N crossed her arms over her chest in defence, only half joking with her accusation.

“Never.” He smirked, though his eyes remained serious, boring into hers like he could never will himself to look away.

“Wait until you see my prized plant.” Y/N diverted, the intensity of Snape’s gaze becoming overwhelming. “Now these turned out beautifully.”

Severus stared down at the plant, recognising it immediately by its vibrant lavender florets and deep black berries. Belladonna. She was right, they had turned out perfectly. He doubted even Pamona Sprout could grow the plant quite so flawlessly.

Distracted in his thoughts of the woman’s craftsmanship, Severus failed to notice why exactly Y/N had now taken to dancing around the greenhouse, swatting at the air.

“Shoo. Shoo.” She repeated, flapping her hands around aimlessly.

“What exactly are you doing, Y/N?”

“Those damn bees are back.” She huffed. “They think the flowers have pollen in them, it doesn’t matter how much insecticide I spray they just keeping bac- Ouch.”

Y/N retracted her hand quickly, clutching her palm to her chest. The woman’s eyes went wide,  locking on to Severus’ in a panic.

“What was that, what happened?” He rushed.

“Nothing. I just cut my hand…I’ll be fine.”

“How did you cut it? Is it a bee sting or was it the plant?”

“A bee sting. It must have been, surely.”

“Are you absolutely positive?” His heart was really racing now. He was desperate to check out her wound, but didn’t want to overstep her boundaries.

Silence fell as Y/N merely shook her head in response, her eyes on the verge of tears.

“Show it to me.” Snape demanded, reaching for her arm.

Though the plant had only nicked her and her cut was relatively small, Severus knew better than to play it down.

“We need to go to my office. Now.”

“I’ll be fine Severus, it barely broke the skin, I’m sure it won’t affect me.”

“I’m not taking that chance.”

Deadly Nightshade, otherwise known as Belladonna, is toxic to the touch, once entered into your bloodstream however, the effects can be fatal. Severus could tell by the look on Y/N’s face this exact thought was crossing through her mind also. He’d be damned if he let anything happen to this woman on his watch. He had an antidote and he wasn’t about to start taking chances.

Erratically rummaging through his stores of ready-made potions, Severus finally selected a green coloured vial.

“Take this.” He ordered, handing the witch the vial.

“Thank you, Severus. What would I do without you.” She forced a laugh past the lump in her throat.

“Have the sense to wear some gloves, hopefully.”

“I’m so sorry, Severus. It was a foolish mistake, I know. I just get so forgetful sometimes, and when I’m around you…”

“Hush. And Drink.” He repeated, saving her from saying something she might regret in the heat of the moment. Severus took his seat next to her, subconsciously leaning into the warmth of her body. “Let me see your hand.”

The potions master uncapped a second bottle of liquid, pouring the contents onto his own hand before treating Y/N’s wound.

“What’s that?”

“It’s a cream infused with the essence of rue. It’ll target the poison right at the source.”

Severus rubbed a calloused thumb over her supple palm, meticulously massaging the cream into her skin. The pair became distracted by his movements, and the unfamiliar touch of the other’s hand.

“That feels good.” Y/N hummed.

“I’m glad.” Snape swallowed nervously, not daring to make eye contact with her.

“You didn’t have to go to all this bother, you know. I’m sure Madam Pomfrey would have had supplies for this sort of thing.”

“Madam Pomfrey gets her supplies from unreliable potioneers in Diagon Alley. Besides, I wouldn’t trust anyone else to do this properly.”

“You’re sweet to me, Severus.” The witch smiled. “I don’t imagine you’re this sweet to everyone.”

Snape’s movements faltered.

“We’re friends.” He clarified.

“Are we?” She stared up at him through those big full eyelashes, batting them in the way that made his heart flutter.

“Of course, we are.” He cleared his throat. “What else would we be?”

“Something more.”

The words escaped her mouth as a whisper, almost inaudible to the point where Severus was beginning to think she hadn’t said them at all.

“I like you, Severus. And I think you might like me.” She clarified.

Severus Snape couldn’t even begin to find the words to tell this woman how he felt about her. How much he admired and appreciated her. How he waited each month just to get to spend one morning with her. How he thinks she might even be the first woman he’s loved in a very long time.

Instead, he simply raised her hand to his mouth, planting a single delicate kiss on the tip of her knuckles.

“Well then.” She grinned, not needing any more of an explanation. Placing her hands on either side of his face Y/N planted a kiss squarely on Severus’ lips. “Let’s be something more.”

[crooked-sketches]

Please read the full post!

Thank you all so much for the amazing response received for this project! To date, an astounding 30 artists have joined! I could never have expected that kind of response so soon, so I have decided to close the signups early and move forward with the next steps!

Who will we be drawing?

The one and only...

India!!!

Introducing, in order, the artists participating!

@aphfroghat  2. @samrut 3. @ashafox 4. @Winteree 5. @doomspiral 6. @maibluemen 7. @the-heaminator 8. @itstokkii 9. @paperuniverse 10. @ama-the-weeb 11. @j-ellyfish 12. @chaoshiki 13. @viktuurishipper96 14. @theheroinewashere 15. @solareeluna 16. @dis-mr-slovenia 17. @noonartist 18. @umahumahumah 19. @f0rgetf0rgetting 20. @ellmovy 21. @loverboylen 22. @Sukno-enjoyer 23. @k3llyb3an 24. @arnikaaa 25. @currybowls-blog 26. @gybas-blog 27. @aurum-cat 28. @dapotatoauthor 29. @spadeset 30. @lecirueblr

Remember, if you no longer wish to participate or need to pull out for whatever reason please dm me!

Wooo! Now what?

I will draw the starter drawing, blur it, and send it along to the first artist in line! Then, when they are finished, they will send the drawing back to me so I can blur it and send it to the next artist. Who will then send it back to me and so on and so forth.

How will we send you the drawing?

Since the quality in Tumblr dm's is, quite frankly, ass, the drawings will be sent to me via either Discord or email. Depending on your preferences please ask me for my @ or email address via DM.

Remember, each artist has two weeks! But you are welcome to send it to me early if you finish before the two weeks are up!

Some quick rules

The minimum required for your drawing is a lined and coloured piece. NO sketches and NO black and white. Fully rendered pieces are very much appreciated, but lined and flat colour is perfectly fine.

Digital art is preferred however if you intend to do traditional art PLEASE make sure that when you send me the picture of your work that it is scanned and not a simple photograph for maximum clarity.

I will be using a canvas size of 3000 x 3500 for the initial drawing, please keep a similar ratio so that they will all fit nicely on the final graphic!

when it is your turn, I will send you a dm on Tumblr or whichever communication method you prefer. If I receive no response/indication that you have seen the message after one week, your turn will be skipped. Sending updates on your progress isn't obligatory but it is appreciated!

My Dm's are always open for questions of any kind! Or even if you just want to stop by and chat!

Finally, a personal message from the mod.

I really cannot thank all of you enough. You all make the community a little better with every piece of art you post.

This project comes at a very difficult time for me. As well as having some personal issues, my family in Lebanon barely managed to escape the war with their lives, they got out but their neighbourhood is gone and the fate of many family friends remains uncertain. Our family in Venezuela is also severely struggling during this time of unrest, and we are not always able to contact them. I decided to host this project now because Hetalia has always been a deep comfort of mine and has helped me through many personal issues in the past. I longed for a sense of community and wanted to interact with more of you all. I could not have imagined so many of you would be interested in my small passion project, especially so many artists and creators who I have looked up to for years.

In addition to this, I wanted to thank all of you who hold Lebanon, Palestine, and Venezuela in your hearts during this time. It warms my heart whenever I see people in the Hetalia community (many of whom are participating here with us!) uplifting fundraisers, charities, and honest discussion about these events.

Perhaps you don't really care about this small message, but it was important to me to say it.

If you reached this far, comment with a ❣️ and I can't wait to see y'all amazing works!

[afreakingdork]

By making your tcest fic a part of your 'Villain's Mask' series after the fact that you built up your fanbase is such a slap in the face to them. You could easily explore your trauma under anon, a feature AO3 has, but you instead alienated your fanbase for... what exactly? I'm all for artists expressing themselves, but those 2000+ kudos on Weak Spot can never be taken back. They can't just 'block and move on' when their names are permanently on your work. Did you think about that? In a world where people harass others for simply accidentally following a tcester? Whether people like it or not, they're now associated with someone who wrote tcest with little to no warning. This is incredibly irresponsible of you, and I hope you realize that. AO3 isn't tumblr, it's a no man's land, people know that, and so, so many people hold their kudos back until a fic is finished just in case an author pulls a fast one on them. You bait and switched your audience, plain and simple. You claim it can be skipped, yet it's part of the series you're still actively writing. I'm not here to shame you for your deciding to switch things up or whatever, that's your right, but rather to inform you of the consequences of your actions. I hope those who inevitably get harassed for having their name on your fic is worth it.

First off, thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.

I hear you.

I will admit that I didn't know that was how kudos worked. I understand why you're upset and I want to address your concerns. When I decided to explore On the Spot, it was not a decision I took lightly. My choices and how they effect others is something I have always been acutely aware of. I considered as many ramifications as I could. I debated posting it anonymously, but I ultimately chose not to for a few reasons.

For one, I believe in being transparent about my work. I have never presented myself as anyone other than me. As such, it was evident that my writing style could not be masked. For another, the work is intrinsically tied to Weak Spot. This is not a story that exists on its own. I have no proclivity for tcest. I have never once before wanted to create tcest content and I have never wanted to since. This story was born from the universe that I created and I only saw this as an avenue related to the versions of the characters that I had crafted within the world of Weak Spot.

This is why, regardless of my knowledge on how the kudos system works, I would have posted On the Spot in the same manner. It was in the examination of possible fall out and consequences that I realized one thing: I cannot control the actions of others. I am widely on the record for loving that about art. You can pour as much intention as you want into something, but you will never be able to control how any one person receives it. No matter how responsible or considerate I was, someone was bound to be effected. I could provide clear warnings and tag appropriately, but at the end of the day, the only way I could have avoided response, negative or otherwise, was by not posting at all.

To what end?

To satisfy some sect that will think the worst of me regardless of how much attention I put into posting something with harmful contents?

You inadvertently prove my decision to share the work under these circumstances. I put as much care possible into posting and yet here you are, claiming you're not here to shame me, yet you imply I'm responsible for any harassment that thousands of others may possibly face. The responsibility for harassment lies with those who choose to engage in that behavior.

Why should those who have read Weak Spot, a work that is devoid of tcest content, be damned simply because the creator and not them chose to delve into painful means in a completely separate story?

Why don't we better use your time to examine the outright lunacy that exists in this fandom because why is it possible that someone would obsessively comb through 2000+ kudos in an attempt to supposedly out users that they think are aiding and abating someone who they have convinced themselves are a tcester?

That is nothing short of unhealthy obsession on one hand or virtue signalling on the other.

Guilt by association is an unfair fallacy.

You can be upset with me for what I have created. I will take the criticism wholeheartedly. I know what I have done. There was no bait and switch. I have never billed myself as one particular type of artist. We have a common enemy you and me. Don't you dare think you can hold me accountable for other individual's actions when it is a fact that I have no control over them. Instead of unfairly attributing guilt, maybe focus your energy into holding those who actually responsible accountable.

[bunny-bear-blogs]

The Magician's Box

Synopsis: Lyney, Teyvat’s greatest magician, and his assistant Lynette are getting ready for a big show at the Opera Epiclese. Why is this show of such great importance? Because they have been personally invited by the Hydro Archon. Which is why it’s important for them to make a great impression. How so you might ask? By unveiling a new magic trick in this grand show, one involving a special magician's box. But what happens when the trick goes awry and traps you and the great magician Lyney inside with no escape?

Word Count: 2494

A/N: This is my second fic wrote/posted :>

A few days ago, you got a call from Lyney saying to come down to work and that he needs you immediately. You see, when you first moved to Fontaine you had trouble finding work that suited your interests and struggled with this problem time and time again. You were tired of working boring job after boring job. Afterall, you moved to Fontaine to get a sense of adventure and see the unexpected. You stayed in this uneventful job streak until you met him. It wasn’t until you met Lyney who offered you a job as a part of his stage crew that you were finally able to have the eventful thrilling job you’ve craved for so long. I mean, what can be more exciting than working for Teyvat’s most famous magician? This event was all three years ago, times have changed since then including the way you view the ashy blonde magician. In the beginning, all you held for him was admiration for how he gave you this job and for how committed he was to keeping the belief of magic alive in people's hearts. Along with this, you viewed him as a good friend who you just admired greatly. But slowly, your feelings for him shifted from friendly admiration into being totally absolutely in love with Lyney. Of course, you would never act on your feelings not wanting to spoil the friendship you have currently. But it doesn't hurt to daydream about being more than friends a bit. You can’t lie. When Lyney called saying he needs you immediately your heart skipped a beat. You know it's for work reasons but it doesn't hurt to imagine he actually needs you romantic wise? Getting your head out of the clouds, you quickly put on your coat and ran out the door into your workplace.

You stood there in your workplace, confused. Why were you the only one here? Where are Lynette and the rest of the crew? The main room was empty, which was no surprise since the big show was only a few days away, but something was off. There was a huge box standing in the middle of the room, covered by a long navy cloth. You were seriously confused, but before you could do anything, Suddenly, from behind the box, Lyney stepped out. He was the same as ever, with his ashy blonde hair covering a part of his face, his violet eyes that looked like amethysts, and his sweet smile and teardrop-stained mark on his face. This was Lyney—the Lyney that you had fallen in love with. “Mademoiselle, I’m glad you made it. You’re the only one who can help me with this task.” “What task would that be, great magician Lyney?” You said it with a teasing tone. “I’m glad you asked.” Then he grabbed the navy cloth and unveiled the box. You were surprised. The box looked ancient and was filled with dust and cobwebs. However, what stood out to you was the writing the box had in an unfamiliar language. “I remember you telling me you’ve studied many different languages, so I just thought maybe you would know what it says.” Oh. oh. So that’s what he needed you for. It was something only you could do, and you alone. You should’ve known better than to get your hopes up too high." Yup, I studied that type of writing a couple years ago, so my translating might be a little rusty. You walked closer to the box and put your fingers over the inscribed words. It says that this box is one that brings two.” “That’s quite the odd riddle. I’m not quite sure what the creator of this box meant to say. But the show must go on, so thank you for the help regardless, Y/N.” “I’m sorry that I couldn't be of more assistance, Lyney.” “Y/N It’s completely fine. Just you coming down here to help me on an off day means a lot to me.” “Lyney, if I may ask, what will this box be used for? Does it have to do with yours and Lynette’s grand performance at the Opera Epiclse?” “Yes, it does. I plan to teleport within the box. To have it move from the stage to the audience.” “Is that even possible? How would you do it, Lyney?” “A magician never reveals his secrets, as you’ll see at our show. Speaking about our show, here is this: With the flick of his hand, a VIP ticket to his grand magic show appeared. Please say you’ll come see me perform. You're my good luck charm  after all."It was true that every time you went to one of the twin magic shows, they would do outstandingly well; however, the one time you didn't, a trick went wrong and caused Lyney to quickly improvise the outcome. “For sure, I’ll be there. I wouldn't want to miss my two favorite twins magic performance.” You smiled and grabbed the ticket, and shortly after, you said your goodbyes to the violet-eyed magician and made your way home.

Fast forward to now, and it is the day of the twins' grand performance. You got there extra early because you were going to meet the twins backstage but not for the reason you usually do. Even though you usually help behind the scenes before and during shows, Lyney and Lynette had insisted that for this special show you should sit and watch as an audience member. This was because of the long time you had worked with them, for this special show they wanted you to see from the audience viewpoint how far they've come in the three years you've known them. However, Lynette called you the night before asking if you could visit her and Lyney backstage before the show started. Here you were, complying and reaching backstage. You opened the door and saw Lyney and Lynette. “Y/N, what are you doing here?” Said Lyney clearly filled with shock. “I invited her to come, she's your good luck charm after all.” Said Lynette nonchalantly. “I can leave if you guys are uncomfortable” Suddenly, Lyney grabbed my wrist exclaiming with a red blush spreading across his face. “No, I don't want you to go. I want you to stay here with me” “You want her to stay here, huh? Lynette broke out in a mischievous smile. If that's so, I’ll give you guys room to speak plus I need to check if everythings ready for the show.” Lynette then left the room with a small smile still on her face. “I didn’t mean for my words to come out like that, but I do want you here.” “I want to be here with you too Lyney.” A voice instantaneously announced through booming speakers “The show is about to start, please have the members of the audience start making it to their seats.” I put my arm behind my back, “I guess it's time for me to go, good luck on the show Lyney and send my support to Lynette as well.” “Thanks for your support Y/N. You're always showing your support for us and I just want you to know we feel the same for you.” He then flicked his wrist making a rainbow rose appear. This is for you Y/N. Please enjoy the show.” He then placed the rose in your hand. “Thank you, Lyney!” You walked out of the backstage area quickly and into your seat happily. 

The audience area was packed. It was completely full, with local celebrities and journalists being placed among the audience. I guess it must truly be a big deal to be invited to perform by an archon. I sat down, fidgeting with the rainbow rose Lyney gave me. He’s never given these out at shows before or to anyone. “I wonder if that means this rose is important.” You had accidentally muttered that out loud, and before you could process anything, Charlotte, a journalist from the Steambird, spoke out. “That's a rainbow rose! Did the magician, Lyney, give you that? Those roses symbolize passion and romantic encounters! I’ve seen you two hanging out together often. Does that mean Lyney has found a partner?” She bombarded you with questions and facts. “Me and Lyney are not in a relationship. We’re just good friends who have known each other for years. He probably just gave me this rose by mistake; it's best not to look too deep into it.” I’m not sure why, but it felt as if my heart flinched saying that. Friends. Yeah, that's right, all we'll ever be is friends. You feigned a smile to Charlotte, to which she replied, "Oh, I see. Sorry for my intruding, but I truly do think the magician likes you.” Before you could respond, the speakers spoke once again, saying the show was beginning.

The magic show was the most captivating thing you had ever seen in your life. It had everything that made the twins special in it. It had things like simple hat tricks to complicated escape the box before you drown type of tricks. Finally, for the last trick of the show, it involved that special box. Lyney was talking up the crowd when Lynette brought the box out. But something still confused you, the words etched into it, “One brings two.” Before you could ponder more your thoughts were shattered by the sound of Lyney’s voice. “Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting the best trick I will perform tonight! I will go inside this box and teleport the box all the way onto the audience's side and appear on top of the box with a surprise in hand. This will all be done in under sixty seconds and I will have Lynette be the one locking the box and you my audience counting. I will now enter the box and Lynette will shut it closed.” Lynette came forward and locked the box having her key in hand then picking it up for the audience to see. Lynette then hyped the crowd up and began her countdown starting from sixty. All was well, with Lyney in the box until something strange happened. 

You blinked, and then the next second you were in the box with Lyney, who had a panicked expression. “What’s going on?” You said with a puzzled expression, facing Lyney, who looked full of panic. “I-I’m not quite sure. The box should have let me out by now, and I should’ve been able to reach the roof of the box by now. But for some reason, I can’t.” I then tried to pull on the exit where Lyney was, but there was no luck. It wasn't letting me out either. “Do you think this has to do with the riddle of the box? The whole one brings two thing?” “Maybe, but what does that even mean?” "Well, you were one; the person in the box and you going in brought two, which was me.” “That’s a good point, Y/N, but what confuses me is how during practice no one else was brought into the box.” "Well, let's think rationally: why isn't this box letting us out? Wait, Lyney, would you say I'm special to you?” “Of course you're special to me, Y/N; you're my friend.” He spoke with hesitation, as if holding important pieces of information back. “No, Lyney, think deeper; why else would I have been brought to this box with you? Why me? If it was friend or familial feelings, Lynette or Freminet would’ve been brought here, but it was me. Why am I the one stuck in this box with you?” Lyney tucked his hat down, further covering his face apart from the hair streak doing so. Slowly, his hands started shaking, and his face turned beet red. “I’m not sure what you're implying, Y/N." He said it shakily. “Lyney, think about it, because only you would know. Why am I in this box with you? Maybe the one becomes two has to do with why I am in the box, and by finding out we can get out.” “Y/N, I have feelings for you. That’s why you're in this box with me. After you left that day, I kept thinking about the riddle, and a thought came across my mind that maybe it would bring the lover of the person who goes inside the box and force them to confront something. It was just a theory, and when I got in and couldn’t get out, my fears came true that you would be following me into the box. So now that you're here, it's all in the open now, I, Lyney, have feelings for you. For as long as I can remember, when you started working here, I fell in love with your viewpoint of life. I fell in love with your sense of adventure and your excitement for the things around you. How could I not have fallen in love with such a wonderful girl? I love you, Y/N, and I always have.” Looking at the boy now, he was still shaking and still red. He looked nervous, for sure, but somewhat relieved to get these feelings off his chest. “Lyney, I love you too. I always have since I started working here, seeing your attitude toward others and your craft. How could I also not fall in love with you?” 

Suddenly, the box shot you and Lyney out. While being shot out, you could hear Lynette be on the number thirty, making you guess that within the box, time passes extremely slowly. Adjusting to your current surroundings, you see Lyney standing on top of the box. He was holding your bridal style with one hand, and with the other, he held a bouquet of roses. With a hand full of roses, he used it to wave to the audience as they all cheered and shouted for his spectacular performance. He then looked over at you, with roses in hand, and put them gently into your hands. “These are for you, Mademoiselle." He said it with a wink and a soft smile. “Thank you, Lyney.” You smiled softly at him. You’ll never forget this magic performance for the rest of your life. After all, it was the performance that made you and Lyney confess your feelings to each other.

[daemonlikestodraw]

Okay so allow me to be extra autistic today bc yesterday i saw THIS picture on twitter

(Creator of the image is @/schizomollys on twitter)

So i thought "Hey, why not make this into my ocs respective universes?" bc sex and sexuality are themes that fascinate me and they are vv important in some of my stories sooooooo, with that being said,

WELCOME TO MY EXTREMELY LONG RANT ABT THIS STUPID THEME

CW before y'all continue reading: This post will include uncomfortable or disturbing topics revolving around sexuality, such as sexual violence, loneliness, trauma and trauma responses, over all, this post was NOT meant for minors or those easily disturbed into reading, this is meant to be an +18 post; proceed with caution or skip this post, thanks for your attention.

Starting with my firstborn and the apple of my eye: Blue Skies, Red tides.

This will be more complicated to explain cause it has MANY characters with different stories to tell and how they intertwine w each other, but i will try to break it down as easily as i can

The dot is ubicated near the "loving sex" and "sex is just sex" corner, this is more of a global distinction to have, but since bsrt is my first story ever, its more "clean" and a "day-to-day" thing into the characters lives, so let me example some few characters

Lana Sun-Rise (any pronouns): The protagonist of bsrt, the once called "Hero of the monsters" and nowadays, just a simple scientist (in their own eyes), has quite an active sexual lifestyle. Because they also love to travel through universes (im not gonna explain the worldbuilding rn, that's for a different post👹👹) they have found himself different sexual partners, JUST SEXUAL PARTNERS.

Romantically speaking, she has a rocky romantic life, and prefer being single for many reasons, from bad experiences with their past relationships, to their job and the importance of them inside the society. Lana is in no way related to showbiz, but they are still considered a celebrity inside the universe, plus they have a charming personality! So many people try to approach them for ulterior motives or their patients developing feelings for her.

Because of this, they prefer just casual one nighters, especially when they are traveling, but deep down, he craves for a meaningful connection.

They long for a loving relationship, a deep connection with another so they can feel like themselves. Let me explain, because Lana is a monster (also not gonna expand myself in this, that's for another post) they have some unresolved issues with their own image and monstruous side. Scars from the past, her sharp claws, the spikes that grow in his body, his sharp teeth, all things that they hide in order to look like a "human" while still being a monster, they wanna feel like themselves with another one.

And that is a struggle too because their monstruous features were also a thing to fetishize by past partners, so to them, sex is just sex, ravaged by their past, but longing for that loving and closeness a partner can exchange.

Dark, "Dee", Cattaneo(they/it): as an aroace monster, its both simple yet complicated at the same time. You see, Dee is especially a sex-repulsed aroace monster, but they still have had their own stories to tell. Because it is a shapeshifter, they were seen as an object in the past, not necessarily sexual but in general.

You see, unlike Lana, what charms people around Dee is not their personality, but their looks. Most people trying to get close to it is purely for ulterior motives, it could be money, a favor, power or how "attractive" they are. With their tall and brooding presence people feel either unsettled or "attracted" to them. I put that in quotations because it isn't attraction, but they see Dark as a fetish.

Because of their shapeshifting powers, it is anyone's most perverted dream come true, right?

That's most of the times cases, and Dee knows this. They use this as a way to manipulate and use people as they like, which sounds awful but aye, i never said Dee is a good person. Dee sees sex as something they can use to control people to their liking (besides money or threats), as people use it's body's for pleasure, they use it to control their minds. I'd say they are quite an expert on using people's minds for their advantage lmao

Because they were used in the past, they use people now as some sort of personal vendetta (to Dee, everyone is the same). It was violent, but now sex is just sex, and they dislike people they have sex with.

(Note to clarify: Dee's libido is a whole enigma to me, id say they have a very low almost null libido for everyone, human or monster)

Jack Albarn (he/him): Oh boy this one is a wholeeee theme. He is probably the character who's sex and his lifestyle is most important in the whole inside universe (or in my stories in general) so buckle in guys.

Jack is bisexual and has a very high libido for women and men equally. His whole character revolves around the idea of love, obsession, and of course, sex. But not in a he is a perverted freak who is looking to bang anyone, i mean he might be a perverted freak but for other reasons. He enjoys his sexuality, and he loves exploring this side of him, he is very open minded to this sort of things, and while he does hookups, he also remembers and sort of craves the sentiment of lovingly surrender his body to other.

Despite that, Jackie has a very wicked sense of love, not sex, but love, which makes him blur his psyque of what a healthy relationship could be. (I reaaaally wanna expand on Jackie's love life but this post is already long and i have two whole other characters i need to write, so again, that's for a different post in the future) while his love life is rocky, his sexual life is more normal, he likes the thrills of a kinky lifestyle but respects his partners boundaries and limits, he never forces someone into something they aren't into.

I DON'T REALLY WANNA SHARE HIS WHOOOOLE KINKLIST TBH, JUST GONNA SAY HE HAS A LOT, and this is tied to his past and his traumas! So just be respectful about it. He doesn't mind being called a slut, a whore or things of sorts, he knows he is one and takes pride into it! To him, sex is just sex, but nothing compares to loving,,,, right?

That would be the case, but he also has bunch of body image and mental health issues that make it even harder to connect emotionally with not only his sexual partners, but everyone surrounding him. A well intended comment or pointing out something about his body can trigger him into panic, and would rather put his clothes back on.

To Jack, sex is just sex, something to have fun with! He sees it as a way to have fun, and just that. But the hopes of having a connection with his partner are still there.

(A clarification id like to do: high libido ≠ hypersexuality, but a not-so-fun fact is that he was firstly intended to be hypersexual, but then i discarded that idea because he is, well, a villain inside the story, and i felt like making a villain have this trauma response would make it look like im demonizing hypersexuality, which made me reconsidering this aspect. Despite that, i really don't mind hypersexual headcanons onto Jackie ONLY if they are done with the respect it must be done with, he is not your fetish, he is my character and he has real aspects even if he is fictional. If you yourself are hypersexual let this be your reminder that you are loved, your experiences are valid and your traumas don't make you less of a person or a perverted freak. Please take care of yourself, stay safe and keep on breathing, you are a delight to have in this world! :D)

There are bunch of other characters who's sexual life is also interesting (in my brain) but to keep it short, almost everyone in Blue skies red tides look for the closeness intercourse (i ran out of words to exchange w sex i am so sorry) but let me be clear, sexual relationships AREN'T the only way to get this, and most characters inside the story HAVE reached this goal without the necessity of sex. People in bsrt feel love and connections with their peers, friends, family and a long etc. And Lana, Dee and Jackie aren't the exceptions!! They do have love in different ways ;D

Basically i just wanted to rant abt the sillies and their lives lawl :P

But MOVING ON!! Let's go to the next universe i wanna talk about: Langsdorffia

My newest story and honestly, one that i am quite excited about!! I love this two gals and i am expanding their lore every day because i can't get them out of my head💔💔 someone help💔💔💔

But as stated, while its new, sexuality is ALSO important to them as its whole premise its "toxic doomed yuri" lmfao, so let's dive into this

And a SECOND TRIGGER WARNING IN CASE ITS NEEDED: Langsdorffia includes bunch of uncomfortable topics that may trigger some viewers, i don't condone the actions perpetrated by this characters at all. I will be discussing sexual violence, violence in general, trauma, hypersexuality, comphet, toxic and abusive relationships, bullying, and disturbing/graphic descriptions. You have been warned, continue under your own discretion and take care of your mental health, thank you.)

As you can see, the dot is located near the violence side of the triangle unlike bsrt, and the reasoning behind that is because Langsdorffia explores the dark, toxic and abusive sides of relationships, where in Blue skies i focus more on the complexities of different kinds of relationships (wether it be platonic, romantic, familial, long etc)

The main focus of LD is surrounded w/ Jillian, the protagonist, and Vivica, the deuteragonist. They both are lesbians and are in aaaaa,,,, weird situationship. They are dating indoors, but outdoors its much complicated, not because they are both girls, but because they both are man eating monsters.

Vivica's plan is to seduce people so they can eat them, something Jillian dislikes but really doesn't have a word in her scheme, it works, but at what cost? Jillian's insecurities and jealousy. Let me break it down into their personal views to make it easier.

Jillian Dominguez (she/they/it): starting w the main character, Jilly has many many issues, ranging from the physical to the psychological. She barely remembers anything from her past, only the day they met Vivica, but few fragments or memories from back when she was a human still linger. She remembers that she didn't have the best time in school, sure, it wasn't horrible but it wasn't fun either, they remember lonely meals, one man group projects and staring blankly into nothing when it's mp3 ran out of battery. It also reminisces the internet, the only place where they felt seen. But perhaps this unrestricted access also affected her a way or another, and distorted her view on reality.

As you can expect, Jillian was the stereotypical fujo/himejoshi girl that has no idea how healthy relationships look like. Yes, she had her parents, but it wasn't the same... Since she wanted what they read. Toxicity surrounding yaoi and yuri manga affected her, and the scene/emo culture also had an impact of her young mind, doing certain things they will regret later as an adult. The things they were exposed to, that they saw, that they interacted with, consumed, looked for, and believed they enjoyed still haunt them sometimes, leading to sudden breakdowns or outbursts throughout the day; but they didn't know any better, they just wanted it's internet friends to like them.

It was at this time they realized they liked girls the way the mangas said, she wanted to be loved or hell, even mistreated by a girl! It didn't matter as long as it was like in the animanga! The character seems to enjoy it so she would too! She should! But it also was troublesome. I mean, growing in an era where lesbians and gay men were fetishized to a max, or in other hand, despised to the core? Complicated, so they always prayed and prayed that, just by miracle, they wake up next day as a boy. And as a closeted lesbian, they just thought they needed to find the right man that will treat her right, meeting guys on websites since they were too shy to ask anyone in class or the mall. But let's just say that her exes just,,,, weren't good.

Jillian, just like anyone, craves for a deep emotional connection, and would go onto extremely big lenghts just to please it's partner due to her experiences, even if it harms them... Or others. To Jill, all her past experiences were violent, and believes that's just what it is.

(Another clarification, i am not a survivor or have hypersexuality, so when i approached Jill as a possible survivor i want to portray it with all the respect it should. Langsdorffia is meant to be a dark story, and i want this dark topics to be touched carefully and with respect, and while i will also make jokes and dumb thingies in the future surrounding these gals, i wanted to clarify this part before i do any joke. Even if its just a "toxic doomed yuri", the violence in LD is very much real and many people suffer it, and i am in no way making fun of it. If you yourself relate to Jill and her story, I am so sorry you had to go through that, and if you are still in that relationship, you can get out of there as soon as you can, find a safe space to be in and you trust, don't stay with people that hurt you.)

Vivica Knapp (she/her): She is a whole enigma inside the story. Despite being the second most important character, we(since we follow Jill's pov inside LD) don't know anything about her. But if Jilly doesn't know anything about Vivica, why do they stay with her? The reasoning is simple: she is still lonely, and so is Vivi. Something clicked when they met, like if it was meant to be, Vivica was her destiny, and Jill was her's.

Indoors, she is mostly loving and sweet with Jillian, but outdoors its almost like if she didn't existed, or even mattered. Vivica with her alluring looks and the seductiveness of what's under the veil attracts her preys, because she doesn't see people as humans, just food for her and her gf.

But that means she cares about Jillian, right? Well yes, but not completely. She makes sure Jill eats, but doesn't consider their emotions when they attract people, instead she uses them, unleashing her jealousy and insecurity to turn it into violence against men, and when the job is done, she gives Jilly her reward in bed, as she knows how this hurts them, but it's for a greater good.

Vivica enjoys her times with Jill, as they play along with anything she asks for, and they seem to enjoy it also. She trusts in her partner more than anyone, that's why they don't NEED anyone else, just the two of them inside the manor. She doesn't seem to show importance about Jillian's memory loss, instead she believes into "creating new memories to replace the old ones" and that "if you forgot, then it's probably for a good reason"

Now when it comes to being intimate, Vivica is the one in control and Jillian gladly let's her take the lead. But it's also not,,, as loving as one expects. Im not gonna get into heavy details about how they have sex, but i will say this: Vivica's hunger is eternal, and many times it has taken by surprise her partner.

Blood unites the two of them in several ways, and their need for violence is gonna be their ruin, united in crimson bloodshed, guts spilled on the marbled floor, rage against humanity, and the smell of the corpses filling the rose-covered garden. Their love and inherently, their sex, is the most violent of all.

With that being said, i think i covered a good part of how this aspect affects them, perhaps not to a 100% but this post is already long enough. I have other stories besides these two, and this is without mentioning the aus or ships outside canon some of this ocs have, but that would make this even more confusing and extensive.

As a final note, i wanna say that i love to explore the complexities of relationships of all kinds, and my stories are not restricted to sex (while they may be important to some point, its not the most vital thing) so if this is the introduction to my ocs world then uhhh,,,, i am sorry for not making a proper introduction before throwing at you this +18 topic 😭😭😭 but with that being said, i must also clarify that none of this is written in stone, and stuff can change in the future as i am still developing these stories, so look forward to lore or drawings or even silly memes!!! If you reached this down to the post: thank you so much for reading my stupidly long rant :'D took me a whole day to write this and i am quite proud of it!!! So thank you so much for reading

See you on the next rant i make :D!!!!

[browngurl99]

I think the biggest reason they tried to make Buddy Daddies as less Homo as possible is definitely because they wanted more people to watch this series. As the VAs said in an interview that "Men should watch this". They probably wanted to attract a larger audience, especially men. If they made Kazuki and Rei's relationship even a bit gay, they would lose so many watchers.

A large audience of Anime in general consists of Cis Heterosexual Men. These men won't watch anything that's even remotely gay. Why do you hear all these anime youtubers people never talk about Yuri on ice or Banana Fish? Both of these anime series are pretty popular. But they don't talk about it cuz they don't watch it. They know it's canonically queer and hence, they are never gonna watch it. They refuse that Ymir and Historia were in love. They hate on people who harmlessly ship characters of same gender. They say gay shippers ruin the fandom. Of course, they won't watch Buddy Daddies if it's even a little Homoerotic.

The fact that it's about two men raising a child is already a reason for many people to draw back from watching it. So, if it actually turned out to be a gay, so many of them will refuse to watch it. And that's why Rei and Kazuki acted like "just friends" in the timeskip even after all that happened when they were at The Suwa mansion. It's like that meme where a man uses tape to a fix a hole in a filled water tank. They love each other. They really do. But the creators had to prove that it's purely platonic. But on the other hand one of the producers keeps liking all the KazuRei shipping posts on twitter. Remember the rumor in Haikyuu fandom that one of the ships was going to become canon but due to homophobia, they weren't allowed to make it canon. That might be actually apply to buddy daddies in reality.

So, basically my point is: Miri commenting about Kazuki slipping out to go drinking with a girl and Rei n Kazuki being a little awkard at first when Miri was taking a family picture ; It was nothing more than a marketing strategy. They did it on purpose so the homophobic audience (or audience that just don't want to watch gay content) will still watch the show. They did it to assure that audience that it's not gay. They did it to relieve those "Thank God Buddy Daddies is not gay" kind of people.

Now, What they did was right or wrong, that's subjective. I personally kinda understand why they did this this. And Honestly, us as a fandom shouldn't just let a couple of scenes ruin KazuRei for us. I was actually kinda scared when I came across a time-skip spoiler before watching the episode. I was scared if they will show Kazuki and Rei having wives or something. But THIS is a lot better than that. And gay shippers have had worse than this. But that does not stop us from making all this amazing content about our favorite fictional pairing, does it? So, let's just not overthink it.

They look very happy in the picture. It's clear that they are comfortable with each other.

[pomegrnteseed]

a transfiguration of the internal kind

or, a love letter to transformative justice, and its usefulness for fandom communities for moving away from artificial intelligence use in transformative works

This is not going to be the shortest, but nuanced issues require capacious responses. I'm going to try and keep this as jargon-less as possible, while also using the words that hold importance in transformative justice, because words are important. We all know that, as writers and artists and readers and universe-builders.

I'm also going to ask for a little bit of patience here. Because tensions are running incredibly high. I understand all too well the urge to respond immediately, to unleash the anger in your chest that once again we're having this conversation about the problems of artificial intelligence technologies as they're used for creative purposes. But directionless anger adds fuel to the fire; while anger honed into a tool for change is a useful resource (though change cannot be sought on the coattails of anger alone - this is a surefire way to reach burn out; quick flash and then nothing but errant smoking ashes).

Why do fandoms hate artificial intelligence?

The short version, in case you've not come across anyone talking about this before, is that artificial intelligence technologies like ChatGPT and Midjourney are trained up by their developers with ungodly amounts of data - data which, often, is scraped from the internet without direct permissions from original creators.

These technologies are great at spotting patterns, but because they don't have human brains, they cannot create. They can only replicate. This means that every time they're used for creative purposes, they're remixing, replicating (copying, plagiarising, stealing) the work of artists and writers and other creators without any acknowledgement, citation, payment, or thanks. When users feed reference images into these technologies, they are similarly stealing.

And, while fandom thrives on transformative works, we are careful to credit where the sandboxes we play in originated.

You'll see from time to time righteous anger as someone lifts an entire fic, replacing character names to fit their preferred ship - and the response is never positive. Stealing, in all its forms, is a huge faux pas in fandom. And not everyone is aware, because people engage in fandom across different platforms, and different fandoms have different rules or etiquettes. But thievery is an overarching Do Not.

Why do people use these technologies?

There's a huge internalised pressure, I think, for many to create. We live in a world where Influencer is a legitimate job. Where a so-called living wages still isn't enough money to actually live on. Where loneliness is rising, disconnect is growing, capitalism is thriving, individualism has us in a chokehold. There are any number of reasons why we want to be good at things, but we're subconsciously (or blatantly) being given tools and latent permission to skip steps and cheat code our way to greatness.

Artificial intelligence technologies are another way to skip steps.

There's also the fact that AI is kind of everywhere - it's increasingly normalised (see Grok on Twitter, Meta's AI in development, Grammarly ads every five minutes on YouTube). Artificial intelligence has been talked about in the media for a long time, but it felt sort of distanced to many because it was mostly used in contexts of analysing massive data sets, or other technologies we don't use every day (facial recognition software, for one). And, if you're not keyed into specific communities talking about the ethical implications of AI and machine learning, if you're not a nerd like me who follows Timnit Gebru and the Distributed AI Research Institute, who has long been fascinated with futurism and the implications of tech on society, then you likely have been subliminally aware of AI for a while without realising that it has much closer touch points to your daily life than you think.

So when these amazing technologies that can complete mindboggling calculations or complete the work of twenty human brains in minutes, that can spot patterns that help with diagnosis or condition management in healthcare, that (thanks to the prison-industrial complexes so many of us live in) are naturalised that facial recognition software is a normalised element of news reporting on crime - when they become available to the average human trying to save their limited time and energy, and are marketed as harmless, as fun, as exciting, as helpful? It's no real surprise that so many reach for it.

And some aspects of AI technologies *are* helpful. Because we have to remember that people use them for different reasons. I have a friend who wrote a book outline using ChatGPT because he's incredibly dyslexic. Some aspects of AI technologies *are* exciting. I have watched How To Drink's 'midjourney chose my drink' episode because it was fascinating and entertaining.

The ethics are complicated. But, fundamentally, these technologies steal and regurgitate the words, work and creativity of others and that is hugely problematic.

But - and this is where I suspect I'll lose people - shouting at people on the internet will not lead to long-term behaviour change.

This is where transformative justice comes in.

Transformative justice is an alternative approach to seeing justice, healing and repair. It's abolitionist in its approach, actively divesting from punitive and carceral responses to harm (e.g. policing, prisons, foster care, psychiatric intervention), instead grounding responses at the community level. Transformative justice is holistic, looking not just at What was bad, but Why it happened. It's often used to deal with the community-impacting wounds of interpersonal violence, drug misuse, domestic violence, etc.

Transformative justice is founded on principles of respect, care, patience, and compassion for *everyone*, including those people who have done harm. Because people won't change without the material conditions to do so.

I see AI use for generative purposes (to create, to skip personal skills development) as a kind of harm for creative communities at large. I think it's fundamentally problematic to use AI when there can be no full oversight of the training data sets (data which is often influenced by unconscious biases from the developers, leading to outputs that are ingrained in racism, misogyny, ableism, transphobia, etc).

I also think, for fandom in particular, this chasing ideas of perfection or greatness does us all a disservice. Fandom is the place for WIPs, for seeking progress not perfection, for charting authentic skills development and celebrating engagement with the universe regardless of skill or talent. I especially think it's unethical to use AI and charge money for your artwork that uses stolen ideas.

I do not think that shouting at those who use AI is conducive to a healthy, thriving community.

Especially as a collective that primarily exists digitally, and for whom meet-ups happen typically either at cons or small, local scales between friends, shouting on the internet is unproductive in changing hearts and minds.

Transformative justice would seek education. The Philly Stands Up! roadmap to accountability is as follows:

Identifying behaviours that harmed others (this can take a really long time!)

Accepting harms done

Identifying patterns

Unlearning old behaviours

Learning new behaviours for positive change

This might seem simple, but it takes an awfully long time in some instance, particularly where people are resistant to holding themselves accountable and taking responsibility for the harm they've done.

It's not impossible, but it requires commitment from the community to stick to the principles set out and agreed upon - something that's hard when you exist in a digitally diverse, dispersed community across multiple platforms around the world with very different ideas of what justice looks like.

But maybe we can, in our micro communities - the spaces where we know people best, where we interact most frequently - begin to set expectations clearly. Maybe we can commit to not immediately letting the rage direct our tweets when we come across yet another AI user in our broader or inner circles. Maybe we can learn to hold patience and compassion (and make good use of our priv accounts, because transformative justice also recognises that this work is resource heavy, and those involved need space to vent/process/protect their peace too).

In my mind, transforming the community standards is an ongoing education project. It's unfair to expect everyone to arrive with the same knowledge or understanding as you. Especially when most AI conversations are so emotionally charged - no one has to read the shouting or snark, and many will scroll right by if it doesn't have a ship tag or NSFW in the first line. You cannot demand full compliance with your ethics and morals and practices when there is no entrance exam to joining a fandom community. But you can keep sharing why these technologies are harmful in the precarious spaces we occupy. You can drop people a message and link them to resources that explain the ethical problems with AI. You can rage on your priv with your likeminded friends, and publicly post your monthly or fortnightly or weekly reminder that AI is not welcome in fandom spaces and here's why.

Expecting the same education and understanding from everyone is ableist and classist and exclusionary. Chasing people out of fandom for making mistakes, for letting their need for validation or their desire to be better than they can currently create or their lack of understanding as to what AI is, how it works, and why it's not a good tool to engage with for creative means is going to gatekeep fandom in ways that do us all a disservice.

Keep the fandom aware of those who monetise their work while using AI technologies to generate the outputs. Ask those people to quit and focus on honing their skill set the old fashioned way. Encourage those who have been missold art to request refunds. But if you're sending death threats to community members for historic AI use and creating an environment so toxic and hostile that others who have done similar don't feel able to speak up, apologise, and assure the community that they've changed without harassment and unnecessary shaming? We'll never foster the sense of supportive, loving community so many of us crave.

There will always be people who seek to profit off of kindness. There will always be profiteering book binders, people selling AI-generated art they pass off as their own. That doesn't mean that we should denounce all who have ever used the tools. That's throwing the baby out with the bathwater, I think.

Shame is a tool for control. You can't force people to stop using artificial intelligence. You can lead the abraxan to water but you can't make them drink. That doesn't mean that creating an environment where it's safe to acknowledge past or current behaviours that are harmful and to learn without total ostracism from the community they want to be a part of isn't a worthwhile endeavour.

Edited to add:

Some practical steps people can take towards holding themselves accountable and taking responsibility for previous AI us. (Writing ideas are more plentiful because I am not an artist, my stick men are questionable at best).

If you've used AI to create anything

Share why - I think it can be helpful to humanise the realities of why AI is attractive and helpful to those who use it (and also we can help as a community give you the support, encouragement, learning resources you need to develop further)

Commit to not using it down the line

Help educate others in how to spot AI-generated content; it's not so obvious to those of us (like me) who are not artists - what do you look for? How can you tell the differences?

Create goals for your creativity skills - what do you want to be able to do, but can't yet? Set yourself challenges or journal activities that engage your creativity while not relying on those technologies

If you used AI for art

keep a diary of your skills development as you learn to create art without generated reference images or skeletons for tracing

share non-AI resources for inspiration/reference images to keep folks away from Pinterest and other less trustworthy sources

follow artists on youtube etc who take you through their processes to pick up tips and tricks

If you used AI for writing

get more involved in online conversations on twitter/discord servers to make connections with people who you could ask to be alpha and beta readers on your work

set goals for yourself - could be tropes, writing styles, word counts, whatever it is you want to achieve, share them with the community and we will cheer you on!

journal or reflective activities can help unlock ideas or inspire work

read, comment, scream about the works you love - and also think about what it is that makes them special, what writing techniques do they use?

check out writing courses or youtube tutorials! they can be so helpful!!

throw your plunnies you don't feel comfortable writing yet into the community and see what ideas people throw back; you might just find that a back and forth with someone sets you off down a path you didn't expect and before you know it you have a couple hundred or thousand words written ready to share with us!

All that is to say, there are ways of maintaining transparency about prior AI reliance, while not being self-flagellating, and also not minimising the extent of the harm done by the use of these technologies - especially if you do so for profit. Nevertheless, I won't shout anyone out of the community, personally, because I have capacity to hold space for those who've done harm and want to set things right, who want to continue creating and supporting and enjoying within our community while no longer using extractive, plagiarising technologies to do so.

[eddiemunsons-missingnipple]

Dear dalia🩷

First of all you are amazing at everything you do and you are blessing us with content always. I am so grateful to have someone in the fandom like you to keep it alive.

That being said…

Second of all you don’t deserve to be treated and talked to the way you are being talked to by other anons.

This is not towards you but just a general message for the dumb ass crusty ass bitches who are dicks.

IF YOU DONT RELATE TO THE STORY DONT FUCKING READ IT.

just because you don’t relate to it or the details it doesn’t mean that nobody relates. There is a sea of people who do relate to their fic.

I personally have small boobs and stretch marks so I felt represented and seen for the first time in a while. Reading most fics the reader has a prefect body and huge tits so I can’t always relate. But that doesn’t give me the right to tell the creator what they should and shouldn’t do with their stories.

If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all. And hey if you don’t fucking like it then go and write your own story or skip it. That is so fucking rude and entitled, get off your high horse and grow up. And if you are gonna say some shitty shit say it with your chest don’t be a pussy on anon.

Don’t be a dickhead to the creators this is the biggest reason why the fandom is dying and creators don’t want to make content. This is ridiculous either be happy or continue scrolling.

This “CONSTRUCTIVE” criticism is actually effecting the creators because most of the time it’s not asked for.

STOP FORCING PEOPLE TO MAKE SUCH A GENERALIZED FICS WITHOUT DETAILS. THERE ARE SO MANY WRITERS WHO MAKE ALL TYPES OF FICS IF YOU DONT LIKE THIS THEN DONT READ IT. BUT DONT TAKE THE FRUSTRATION OUT ON THE WRITERS AND FORCE THEM TO WRITE THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO.

Thank you for listening. I love you so much dalia and I hope you have a good day🩷😚 by now you probably know who it is ☺️

I love you so much. This message means a lot to me it really does. Thank you for taking the time to show me your support. 🥰💗

[5t4r1i9ht]

I've moved for place to place trying to find a place that truly enchants me, I get word of Romania a beautiful country known for its castles and landscapes after studying the language for a while only to get partially fluent I decide it's time to move out, I've enjoyed Florida with the warmth and it's beaches but it truly isn't for me. Grabbing my leather Swiss army bag and a duffle bag and a pack pack I set out. I get on a train heading to Vâlvea County, on this trip I take out my laptop and begin to message the person I plan to stay with for the first few months till I get on my feet, he was the reason I planned to move to Romania anyways. He and I have been friends since I was little, we met at my middle school both of us were Cuban and we bonded over our interests in art. 'Andrew' though my nickname for him was 'Scot' somehow and he called me 'Nyx' I've always been enthralled by the stars and night sky.

"Hey how many more hours do you have till your here" -'Scotty <3'

"About and hour and 30 mins now"-'Nyxxypoo'

"I know your..different but some of the stuff here is intense, you won't be able to leave after coming here Nyx. It's your decision but I want you to be sure.- 'Scotty <3'

"I'm certain Scot, don't worry about me remember I may be older now but I'm just as skilled or more!"-'Nyxxypoo'

"I know I know, I'll see you soon<3"-'Scotty <3'

I smile and prepare some designs of jewelry I'd like to make before arriving at the village, a piece of amber that has a fly infused in it  is what I hope to be my first finished project after moving in.

-Time skip-

I got off the train, Scot said he'd be here soon to pick me up. When a Dacia 1300 pulled up that was purple with pale green accents I knew it was him "Hop in loser I got a lot to tell you" I roll my eyes putting my bags in the trunk and pulling out an Amethyst necklace that I made for him. I go to the front seat accidentally slamming the door warning me a glare from Scot, I pull out the necklace smiling oddly making his glare soften. Taking it from my calloused hands he smiles softly "thank you Nyx" I smile proudly seeing it fit his vibe. Off we go, he began to ramble about the village I signed myself off for, cold, a god? That's a woman? 4 lords?, huh? I blanked out a bit and after dumping enough information to fit inside the sun he turns to me "did you get that?" I nod awkwardly 'no' he sighs "you'll see anyways it should be fine." Now that concerned me. I raise an eyebrow "we're hereeeee!" He bursts out with a grin. I sigh opening my sides door and walking to the open trunk taking out my bags we head to the door as he fumbles with his keys. "I split the garage in half so now you'll be able to do your stuff and I'll do mine. you can put your stuff here" he motions to the now open side of the door. 

WOW.

This is real.

And definitely happening.

I need a drink.

———

This is my first time making a comic like this so I apologize for the messiness but I added the fic I based it on, it is my work so there’s no need to tag another creator but I do hope you enjoy this silly comic I plan on posting more here, I just got over a years worth art block so I hope it’s no problem. Eventually I’ll move to digital media but my drawing tablets cable broke so I need to wait to buy a replacement ❤️

[genericpuff]

(1) Hello, than you for your posts about Lore Olympus and for recommending the Pyrrhic_Victoria podcast. I'm a very casual reader of the series, at time going months without checking the episodes and it's fascinating how many problems just flew over my head, although I had weird impression when reading the chapter about Persephone defeating Kronos, it felt odd and off (the reporters - just... how?).

Considering you put this into 3 parts, I'll just be responding to all three in one post if that's okay! (hence the copy pastes above!)

The S2 finale was definitely where I really started to go "uhhhhhh" with the series. The trial already had me raising my eyebrows (such as the Eris reveal) but the S2 finale was where I really just started to drop off and lose the love I once had for the series.

ETA: I realize the tone of this post kinda went off but it's a hot button topic of mine that I enjoy talking about so bear with it haha Thank you for wishing me luck with Rekindled, I got big things planned ❤️❤️❤️

To address #2, I actually have a liiiittle bit of beef with that notion. As a writer, I don't think it's necessarily good form to blame the audience for failing to meet expectations. Yes, audience members can come up with some wild theories and expectations especially when it comes to serialized stories like this, but the core of the issue is that LO/Rachel doesn't manage what it sets up well at all. Even the most basic expectations for where the story is going seem to be dropped, expectations that anyone who pays an inch of attention to the series would come up with.

For example, I don't think it was too big of an ask to expect the time skip actually show more than it did. A lot of people were hyped to see Persephone be on her own, forced to do her mother's job, and live up to everything she had bragged about at the start of S2 (about how she had 'peaked' in her mother's duties) not to mention offer her an opportunity to make spring her own. There was also the theory/expectation that it would potentially lead to an actual genuine abduction, through Hades option to go to the Mortal Realm and take her "back" to the Underworld in defiance of Zeus' sentencing.

And of course, there's what happened with the Eros x Psyche myth, the return of Kronos, and the Hymn of Demeter, all of which are stories that not only had setups as far back as S1, but Rachel has butchered within the confines of LO because she wants to try and be "subversive", not realizing that being "subversive" doesn't mean completely screwing over the original meanings of these myths or writing a poorly-constructed story.

These, to me, are not wild expectations to have in the slightest for a comic that's claiming to be a retelling of the taking of Persephone. But LO is as far from being a true retelling as retellings can possibly get. It can hardly even be called fanfiction at this point.

Point is, it's up to the writer to fulfill the expectations they set, and that's a separate thing entirely from an audience setting their expectations "too high". It's not like people are asking for anything that's outside the reasonable realm of what Rachel is tackling, everything that I see people "expecting" is pretty par for the course for the stuff Rachel has noticeably set up (like the return of Kronos, for example).

I see the argument crop up a lot that people should just "lower their expectations" of LO for the sake of enjoying it, but frankly, if I were in Rachel's position, I would be downright insulted and disappointed in myself if I found out my audience had to lower their expectations of me and my work to enjoy it. I don't want an audience out of pity, I want an audience because I've put out a damn good piece of work that's earned that audience. And this isn't something that's unique to me, this is pretty much the viewpoint of every other creator I know, so if Rachel is seriously hiding behind the notion that it's her audience's 'fault' for having their expectations too high, then she's a coward, full stop. She set those expectations herself in a lot of ways, and especially by going so far as to claim LO as a 'retelling' of some of the most beloved myths in literature.

As a writer, it's disrespectful as fuck to see people come up with these kinds of arguments instead of expecting better of someone who claims to be a professional and regularly brags about their awards (which weren't even earned, they were very likely bought).

As an audience member, I shouldn't have to turn off my brain and forgo my own intelligence as a reader to enjoy someone else's work. I'd rather just stop reading it altogether and put that energy into something else far more enjoyable and worth my time.

[bbnibini]

Give me all the info on your Lilith now (pretty please <3)!

General Info 05 Which deadly sin best aligns with them? Which one do they embody the least?

General Info 10 What was there initial reaction to Diavolo's plans of uniting the three realms? Has their opinion changed? Or rather, what would it have been?

Angel 08 Have they ever questioned Father? What for? Were they punished for it?

Angel 10 What is something they would willingly fall for? (other than love, if there is anything)

I hope those aren't too many questions but if it is, feel free to skip some! Hope you have a lovely week! 💚💚

Thanks for the ask! Lilith's character was fleshed out for my AU, which is a canon-divergent AU for Obey Me I had been working on since 2020 that surprisingly, had a lot of its elements/lore become canon throughout the years lmao. Also, I'm sorry if this is more of a Father lore dump than Lilith it's just He's deeply connected to the Celestial War cause He was the reason it even happened in the first place.;;

⭐General Info 05

Which deadly sin best aligns with them? Which one do they embody the least?

Ever since I was writing for Lilith in 2020, I had always made Satan her parallel. She is the reason why Satan looks the way he is: Satan's penchant for pranking Lucifer as a way of showing affection reminiscent of the playful and sisterly affection Lilith has with Lucifer. She is the reason why Lucifer is clouded with nostalgia and regret instead of annoyance and anger whenever Satan attempts to put a curse on him/prank him etc, because Satan resembles the sibling he failed to protect. Satan is arguably the one he spoils the most because he fills in what he had lost/whom in his eyes, he had failed and "disappointed", despite the fact that he will never admit it himself.

Of course, just because she is the reason for Satan's existence in my HC doesn't mean she and Satan are the same person. While Satan embodied wrath, the sin of lust embodies Lilith the most. In OG Obey Me, love was Lilith's driving force to committing a taboo. In my own interpretation of lust and love, both concepts are like "sisters" to each other. At times, the lines between love and lust blur. Lilith fell in love. A love deep enough that caused her to question how her Father ran the Celestial Realm. It was love, a strong desire that she knew would always be a dream. A castle in the air. A wish that can never come true. The difference between canon Lilith and my Lilith is she had done something far, far worse than loving a human. She dared to question her Creator AND fall in love with another god, Father's equal, which had of course given Father more of a motive to punish her severely. But love and lust are not the only driving forces that drove Lilith to fight back from Father's judgement; it is of course a big influence nonetheless.

I would say out of all the seven deadly sins, sloth would be the least compatible with her. Lilith is very much a go-getter and a stubborn-headed, reckless bullheaded woman who would even fight God (she actually did in my fic lmao) to protect the people she cares about, to fight for the inequality and apathy she had been seeing in how Father ran the Celestial Realm, no matter how powerless she was or how little chances she had to actually win. This woman is GRIT personified.

⭐General Info 10

What was there initial reaction to Diavolo's plans of uniting the three realms? Has their opinion changed?

Or rather, what would it have been?

Well, Lilith had passed away long before RAD was established so she wouldn't really have much of a reaction. /hj

Kidding aside, due to her experiences in the Celestial War, she is very sceptical if it would actually result into something, given how she and her brothers lost the war and gradually realised their Father is a selfish prick and "cares" in a very self-serving Old Testament kind of way and would never actually let it happen. Father's got a really big ego, is easily jealous, and hates the idea of His children loving other gods or superior beings besides Him. Even if the two other Realms are willing to negotiate, she knows it will lead to nowhere so long as Father remains…Father.

But I think she would warm up to the idea once she sees how much rizz her descendant has. MC pretty much inherited her stubbornness/grit that it might actually be possible make the Demon Prince's dream into a reality.

⭐Angel 08

Have they ever questioned Father? What for? Were they punished for it?

I tried to condense it as much as I could, but tl;dr is Lilith despises Father. Even after her husband Samael eventually forgave Him. Nope. She will stay mad forever.

Very much. My AU is slightly different from the OG and NB timeline. The reason for the Celestial War is a lot more complicated than food being fed to a human. Rather than one solid reason, it's pretty much a spider webbed-shaped stack of dominoes that collapsed on each other. It's a mess. The mess leading to one common denominator: Father.

I'll leave some snippets of the lore as links here if you're interested. Here's also the completed spinoff I wrote last last year that gives it more detail.

link 1

link 2

link 3

spinoff

Why did the Celestial War happen because of Father? It's simple---Father is selfish. In my AU, Gods are complete beings on their own. They don't need anyone to be complete. You could say His motives to create humans into social creatures is His way of trying to detach them from being completely made "into His likeness". He's afraid of others taking His spot. He's better than everyone else. No one else deserves to be made exactly like His likeness, even His son (psst it's the J man). He could have easily made His son His equal just like how Samael did with his brother Leviathan (this is a lot of lore dump but basically in my AU, Levi is a god and is not related to the Demon Brothers at all, but is Samael/OC-fied Simeon's biological brother,that's why he can't exactly fit in well with other demons, even his own "brothers" cause he had never been a demon. His powers+memories were just sealed after protecting Lucifer and his siblings when they fell so he became one.) but instead, he made His son into a human.

While it's true that He does love humanity, a being that only knew love through loving Himself would inevitably love in a self-serving way (which is why when I heard in NB this is pretty much canon now, I'm not surprised cause it does have a rl lore backing. I haven't actually read the new NB chapters so my own judgement of how accurate it is to Old Biblical texts will be reserved in the future).

Father created "everything" but had proved to be incompetent in actually running the "everything he created from nothing", leaving the seraphim to clean up after Him. He's this divine being put in a pedestal but couldn't actually care less about His creations and only expresses love when He feels like it, much like your average Olympian god. There's inequality and power imbalance in the Celestial Realm but He could care less. Rather, the concept of "caring" is foreign to Him. Everyone is pretty much "equal" in His eyes. So what if the other angels are being mistreated or discriminated? When Father was making "laws", He actually didn't know ANYTHING about social relationships and humanity (gods are solitary beings in my AU) so a lot of them are contradictory or didn't make sense. The humans? Weak. Defenceless. Sure, let's thrown My son in there. Nothing could go wrong, right? In every thoughtless action He does, He just thinks "surely this wouldn't affect My children in a significantly negative way, right? Even if it does, I'll leave Lucifer and the other seraphim to fix it". Lucifer is TIRED. Lucifer wants to go to rebel! Oh wait-

All joking's aside, once Lilith discovered and realised that there are ACTUAL GODS besides Father, that's when her beliefs in Him started to shake, even more when she realised the seraphim, HER OWN BROTHER knows this from the start? That there's these two sibling gods that embodied contradictory traits from what they know what a god was, what Father was: Samael and Leviathan treat each other like family. The love each other like family, just like how Lilith loves her own family. They know they can exist without each other but STILL CHOSE TO STAY TOGETHER AND BE FAMILY TOGETHER. They're the opposite of what a seemingly independent, solitary being a god was. Samael was kind, thoughtful, a little cowardly and gloomy but he was also pure and selfless and loving and everything that Lilith could have ever wanted. He was also a god. Forbidden. Could not be. And he was trapped. Made to believe he was something he was not. Made to think he was this strange and horrifying monster for being different from his fellow "angels", and locked himself away.

There's a lot more, morally dubious and outright disgusting things that Father did especially to Samael that Lilith is understandably furious about but it's a lot and I don't want to overwhelm with more infodump but yes, Lilith did fight back and she was punished for it. Her brothers were punished for it. Leviathan who protected them was punished alongside them, and Samael punished himself for not being able to protect them. But to save her from being obliterated, Samael preserved Lilith's soul and kept it in the darkness until they can reunite when his duties have finally been fulfilled. He also sealed Leviathan's memories and made a deal with Father to give Levi a cover-up background story that he had always been one of Lucifer's siblings. It's a lot. Samael had reasons for it and I have an entire longfic that can explain more but I'll stop there lol. Thanks for reading!

EDIT: OMG I didn't realise I left this out!!;;;

⭐Angel 10 What is something they would willingly fall for? (other than love, if there is anything)

Fighting for what's right. Lilith would willingly fall if it means she can make the lives of others better. Her fellow angels getting a better life and better treatment in the Celestial Realm is one of her other reasons why she fought against Father in the Celestial Realm.

[good-wine-and-cheese]

hey carmen! i hope youre doing well! :D P, G, R, W for the ask game?

I'm doing dandy thanks and thank you for the ask! :)

P. Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

Oh fun! Since I'm in Pluto brainland right now and already have a bunch of AUs rattling around about it I'll share one of those. I have in mind this AU where, during the 39th Central Asian War, Gesicht is critically damaged and has to be sent back for repairs by his creator (the damage is too intricate and complex for most field techs to fix him). Hoffman, faced with the visceral consequences of Gesicht being sent to war, takes matters into his own hands and runs off with Gesicht. I just think about how it's probably something Hoffman never wanted to put his creation through but wasn't able to stand up to higher ups at the time. I think faced with the violence and terror of the war coupled with Gesicht returning to him badly damaged would be the catalyst for him to recognize the system for what it is and work to support robots in a more earnest way that maybe requires him to be in hiding.

G. Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

So I don't think I define OTP the same way that most people do. "OTP" to me is just "the ship that is my favourite to think about" I guess, but I will still actively ship those characters individually with other characters, too. That said, my first OTP was McSpirk. 12 year old me took angsty pictures of Spock, Kirk and McCoy (and variations of them together) and made Windows Movie Maker slideshows with them to angsty billy talent and three days grace songs

R. Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

Favourite platonic relationships in fandom! That's hard, because tbf I like a lot of them. It's generally my favourite type of relationship between characters. Generally speaking though, any adult-child dynamics that are particularly wholesome (especially when one or both are severely broken people) will destroy me.

On a recent rewatch of Eureka Seven, I found I really appreciated the crew of the Gekko a lot. They're just a bunch of weirdo roommates and the vibe of that whole dynamic was really good to me. As far as platonic relationships in series go they feel very close to how actual people interact with each other so I guess I'll say whatever the crew of the Gekko has going on.

W. A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

Normally I'm pretty forgiving with tropes honestly! If it's an annoying trope that happens a lot of times I'll probably skip out, but it's hard for me to say any "specific" trope will make me "hate" it when generally I will give them a 3-strike grace or a "that was funny actually" level of acceptability. I guess I do have one that consistently pisses me off though.

"Shitty sex scenes used in place of character growth" is my biggest fiction pet peeve. It's not sex scenes as a general rule, but in so many shows I've seen the writers will give me absolutely no reason to believe character A and B would fuck (in fact, they usually seem to hate each other and Not in a oh they wanna fuck kinda way), then suddenly they fuck (and it's framed to be as bland as possible) and then after that they're super close meanwhile I have had absolutely nothing shown between them that would lead any of this to feel like it would feasibly have happened. It's bad writing and completely takes me out of the narrative and makes me think about how I would have written character development to get from point A to point B.

Ask game

[mushroom-through-the-stargate]

ok buckle up because I'm going to go on a Stargate Atlantis gush so long I'm not going to bother turning it pink

this series is EXACTLY WHAT IVE BEEN NEEDING ok ok listen yes it has scary monsters and fight scenes and blowing stuff up BUT it also has substantial fluff

we get to see the characters making a home in small ways from a favourite food in the cafeteria to rc car races in an unused hallway

THEY CALL THEMSELVES A FAMILY THATS MY LIFELINE A FOUND FAMILY CALLING THEMSELVES A FAMILY

the words "we can't tear this family apart" in life threatening situations give me life and they are said a bunch of times

the creators hate killing characters off as much as we hate losing them so a lot of mc deaths get "well, actually"d in a way that made sense (such as getting really upset that my fave Carson died only to have his clone be rescued half a season later and be reintegrated into the mc circulation)

and the series finale was AMAZING. spoiler alert skip this paragraph if you don't wanna read details about the finale. it gave a reasonably hefty threat for a finale, but everyone survived (other fave Ronan got well-actually'd and I'm thankful because he's the teddy bear protector and I would've cried) and found a home. atlantis is on earth, the family is together, and it ends with the well-loved all mc's are on a balcony overlooking a beautiful view and saying that theyre each other's home and there are always going to be other adventures. - end finale spoilers -

even the bad guys are personified. you mightve seen my post about Todd, and Todd is The Original Funnyman. this guy has the best sense of humour in the whole show. then there's Michael, and you feel for him. the replicators... uhh... yeah most of the replicators are unremarkable personality-wise, but hey they're robots.

now for mc's. this is a no-rodney mckay-hate blog, so if you say anything hateful about him I'll stab u. yes he's arrogant and a know-it-all and he thinks he's better than everyone and has the social skills of a stale cracker BUT he has GROWTH and is slowly RECOGNIZING AND TRYING TO TREAT PEOPLE BETTER and he's My Boi so fite me 9/10

Sheppard is hilarious and is responsible for the awful placeholder names for individual wraith. he has serious Burnt Out Gifted Kid Vibes and is definitely smarter than he lets on. atlantis crew is definitely the first Family he's had and feels safe with. I love him 11/10

Teyla is awesome and would absolutely kill for her adopted earth family. also turns out to be Best Mum 10/10

Ronan. my beloved puppy Ronan. played by the absolute unit that is Jason mamoa. he is a man of few words and many guns. atlantis crew saved him and he's the last of his people and now the base is His Home. Sheppard calls him "chewie" affectionately and Ronan smiles every time. 20/10 I would absolutely feel safe with him around

Dr Carson beckett. a Scotsman who will even try to heal his enemies. besties with Rodney McKay and keeps him in check. he's so lovable and sweet 11/10 his clone goes away for the Pegasus galaxy version of doctors without borders 9/10 I'm just glad he's back

Radek zelenka. his most common subtitle is [mutters in Czech] he's so soft and squishy I love him. he shares a braincell with Rodney and they finish each other's sentences it's like they're very competitive twins 10/10

Elizabeth weir. not quite the Mum but definitely the Older Sister In Charge. I miss you so much. rip 11/10

there are a lot more that I love but I'm just gonna leave it here. you should absolutely go watch it.

[inactiveblog261838]

hi guys!

this will be the last post i make on this account, so i'm going to pin it once it's posted. it's mostly just kind of me rambling, so feel free to skip to the last paragraph if you're interested in following me on my new account. it will be linked at the end :3

honestly, i feel conflicted as i write this, but i think it's necessary. i have had this blog since i was in highschool. i've posted my writing here for at least 6 years!! over those years, i've gained what i consider to be a pretty big following– more than i've had on any other social media, at least, lol. anyways, i've been writing fanfiction since i was a kid, and for years i was embarrassed by it. i didn't think anything i wrote was worthy of being read, and i didn't think that anyone would like my writing. thanks to this website, i was proved to be very wrong. i've garnered over 5k notes on a fic that i wrote when i was 17– that's so many people!! even now, it's mindblowing to me how many people not only read the things i write, but actually enjoy them. i have received so much love and praise over the years, and i am eternally grateful to every single person who's ever liked, reblogged, or complimented my writing.

as i've had this blog for so long, my interests and my values have changed quite a bit since i was 16. when i first started gaining traction here, i didn't really think too hard about the nuances of being a creator. all i cared about was people liking the things i worked so hard on. it didn't matter who they were, as long as they liked me. over the last few years, i've become less and less active here as i've spent time navigating adulthood, as well as getting into new sources and trying to separate myself from certain older sources that i once wrote for. this blog has been with me through so many different phases of my life, and leaving it behind feels a bit disheartening, but i have taken a lot of time to think about who i am, who i post for, what i want to write about and what i want out of this hobby of mine– and so, i've come to the decision to start anew.

i will not be deleting this blog for several reasons. number one being my own nostalgic purposes. i would like to someday be able to look back and see how i've grown as a writer. i've poured a lot of effort, blood, sweat and tears into everything i've posted here. even the stuff that makes me cringe now. also, my fics still get a pretty surprising amount of attention, even the old ones, and though i'm not happy with some of them now that i look back on it, i can see that others enjoy them, and i don't want them to be lost forever (because i for one do NOT keep track of all the documents on my phone, so there's no option to repost them, lmao).

anyways, i'm saying all this to say THANK YOU to every single individual who has spent time reading my work, every person who's supported me, and every follower. i am endlessly grateful to you all for giving me the courage to keep posting my writing and sharing my thoughts with the world.

moving forward, you can find me at the blog linked below. it simply would take too much time to cleanse this blog of people and fandoms i don't want to further associate with, and honestly, a fresh start sounds rejuvenating. i hope everyone has a happy holiday season, and that the new year will bring you everything you could ask for. thanks for your support.

❤️