#I swear to GOD reading comprehension is a thing
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cherrysnax · 2 years ago
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the cocomelon fandom really didn’t like that post
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giantkillerjack · 1 year ago
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the average person doesn't expect you to be a perfect ethical consumer, that's not possible for the vast majority of us. but what youre saying is it's better to do nothing at all and choose the worst possible options (sweat shops, overseas shipping waste, idea/product theft, all wrapped up in SHEIN) than to put even the tiniest effort in where you can.
[they are referring to this post]
What I said was "some people are doing literally everything they can to survive and have no extra bandwidth to spend extra time and money on their purchases, and it is cruel and therefore un-punk to gatekeep punkness and add additional shame to these people's lives based on that fact."
I think it's still a good thing to try to ethically consume; I literally never said it wasn't. I had never even heard of SHEIN before. Rather, I am much more concerned about what I saw as arbitrary gatekeeping based on ability and income.
And frankly how dare you claim that I am supporting sweatshops and abuse by saying that this additional work you are demanding (in this case, presumably, vetting every clothing company you buy from) is not always possible for people. It is not a light accusation to accuse me of supporting abuse.
"How dare you say we piss on the poor", Etc. 🙄 this isn't Twitter. You are determined to enforce moral purity, but you are failing to see the nuance.
Because when I say "no extra bandwidth," I mean no extra bandwidth. This is not the "car shows it's on E but actually secretly it has a lot of gas left" situation that abled people constantly assume disabled people mean when they say they are at their limit.
This is "the car has stopped moving, and to move it I'd have to break my body pushing it." This is "at a certain point, people will hit a wall in terms of money and time and energy, and any energy spent after that comes directly out of their life force."
So the argument "okay but just spend a little more time money and energy actually" is not a valid one.
And the argument "if you are not able to do this specific task, then it means you're not doing anything else to make the world a better place" doesn't exactly impress me either. You said yourself that it is impossible to be a perfectly ethical consumer for most people.
How do you know what else people are doing to resist oppression? How many hours per week until your standards are met?What if someone works 3 jobs? Does that mean it's harder to be a good person if you're poor?? Why do you get to decide what specific avenue of bettering the world is the most morally repugnant or acceptable? What kind of proof of goodness and effort would make you satisfied enough to lay off on the shame?? Who are you helping??
Clothing is a fundamental human need, and some of us have to buy cheap fucking clothes quickly. Billionaires are buying their seventh yacht this month. The people who own fast fashion companies are abusing their workers and putting local affordable clothing stores out of business - and this applies for basically every company with price points that low because governments are failing to regulate corporations to enforce basic human rights.
I have $300 to spend on a new wardrobe as my old clothes have fallen apart or become too small. Do you have a way for me to get a new winter coat, 3 flannels, 10 shirts, 3 dress shirts, new sandals, 10 pairs of pants, 5 bras, 12 pairs of socks, and 10 pairs of underwear within that budget and also definitely 100% ethically sourced, with free returns in case it doesn't fit? Or will I simply have to use the cheap stores?
I have about an hour to spend on this per week. Many mainstream stores doesn't make clothes in my size, and I am now in *year 5* of needing an electric wheelchair and being unable to get one; plus I live up a flight of stairs, so I can't even bring my walker out with me - so thrift shopping is not gonna cover this. Should I continue to wear small and tattered clothing until I have the time, money, and energy to meet your standards?
Did you know there are more empty homes in this country than homeless people? If I decide to splurge on only 100% ethically-produced products, and I can't make rent, and I become homeless, are YOU going to be there for me?? Or are you too busy litigating the endless tiny shames of poverty in your own community?
So I ask you again, are you SURE this is where you want to direct your punk energy?
Because there are a whole lot of rich people relying on people like us punching down and to the side instead of looking up to see where the money is going.
Because energy and time, as it turns out, are limited resources. And I would never expect you to secretly have more than you claim to have.
#original#punk#hopepunk#cripplepunk#i swear to god#reading comprehension website#how dare you say we piss on the poor#jfc 'what you're saying is we should do nothing' - what I'm saying is YOU are doing nothing by enforcing this boundary#you have to give people more credit than this. i believe you want a better world too. and it would be cool if you used your energy to#instead ask 'how do i fight for the people in my community to be clothed and have the time and income to shop ethically?'#or 'how do i support activism that pushes for regulation that could control these companies?'#monitoring how poor people spend money is a supremely Republican thing to do. as is demanding clear moral purity from every scenario.#you want a better world too. you want to demand your peers do better. - fine. good.#but you need to be asking if you have remembered and included everyone's needs when making statements like this.#capitalism is all for forgetting about poor and disabled people and refusing to believe their limits.#shame is a necessary weapon in fighting greed but it IS a weapon. be so careful where you point that shit. enough shame can kill a person#and a lot of us are already defending from it from all sides.#shaming a person who is already at their limit for not doing more is an act of cruelty. think very carefully about what that means please.#i literally don't even know what SHEIN is lol i just know classism when i see it#but I've had friends whose clothes were visibly falling apart with no income and so much so shame so deep in their hearts they were dying#and if they had seen that post it would have made them even sicker and gotten them no closer to the dignity of being properly clothed#shame is a weapon and /you need to be careful!!!!/
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steakout-05 · 6 months ago
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how i feel about TBYS causing a shockwave effect of everyone dogpiling on and harassing Illymation and spreading extremely easily disprovable and malicious misinformation about her and putting her in a lot of danger for literally no legitimate reason
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#big rant in the tags incoming hold on to your hats:#i swear drama commentary youtubers are actually some of the most dense people on the fucking planet#like holy SHIT i have never seen a bigger display of collective stupidity than every drama commentary grifter harping on illy based on shit#-she didn't even say that they heard from a guy who sounds like budget ben shapiro. how are you that dense. like how. actually how.#it's just a big stupid game of idiot telephone with how much basic shit people are getting wrong because they heard it whispered from-#-another person. istg if i have to see ONE more person say that ''oh but she's encouraging obesity'' ''oh but she said [thing she literally#-didn't say]!!!'' im going to SCREAM. i am going to throw my phone against the wall if i see one more malicious misinterpretation of a-#-basic statement that even a fucking doorknob could understand with more grace and nuance than these idiots#i swear to god this is all so STUPID#drama commentary youtube is where basic reading comprehension and common sense go to die. it is the 10th circle of internet hell-#-just below 4chan.#anyway rant over glad i got that out of my system.#i hope illy is doing well and that she and her partner and her cats are safe <3#sorry for being so angry. this whole situation literally makes my blood boil and i'm so upset that an innocent person got put in danger-#-because of some nerd emoji sounding wackass blatantly lying about her and being a dickhead#this is the first and last post i'll ever make about internet drama (unless something really REALLY funny happens) i just needed an outlet-#-to scream into for a few minutes#drama commentary youtubers delete their entire channels and leave the internet right now challenge#shitpost#youtube drama
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harmonybarmy · 8 months ago
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I hate booktok sometimes cause it's like.........imagine describing game of thrones as a spicy romantasy series.
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frodolives · 1 year ago
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1850s Tumblr Dashboard Simulator
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👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow
It really makes me sick to see people giving money to penny weeklies when Franklin's expedition STILL has not been found 😭 There are good men out there trapped in unimaginable temperatures and literally all that's needed is a little more funding for another rescue mission yet all you guys seem to care about are your vulgar little stories...
🧔🏻‍♂️ queerqueg Follow
the franklin expedition is dead as hell
👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow
Disgraceful thing to say but I'd expect nothing more from a M*lville fan
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👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
Sorry for posting so much about Tom Gradgrind/James Harthouse from Hard Times lately. It turns out that I was getting arsenic poisoning from my wallpaper? Anyway I took a seaside stroll and I'm normal now. Check your walls y'all
#whyyy did i assume they were committing unlawful actions together like where did i even get that from lol #hard times isn't even that good by dickens standards tbh
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🎨 asherbrowndurand
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Just painted this
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ss-arctic-girlie-deactivated18540927
RIP Napoleon... you may have been unable to conquer Alexander's Russia but you sure as hell conquered Alexander's bed
🖼️ preraphaelitebro Follow
HERITAGE POST
📝 shakespearesforehead Follow
How does this have less than 100k notes you could literally not avoid this post back in the 20s lol
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🌄 loyalromantic Follow
poets just aren't dying young in mysterious water-related incidents like they used to :/
#as useless and degenerative as i find 'the living poets' and i'm glad we're finally moving on from them #i have to agree with op in this respect
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🎀 thefopdiaries Follow
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I finally got a daguerreotype of myself ^_^ Porcelain urn for scaling
📜 bartlebi-thescrivener
i think i hauve consumption
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🐋 whaler4life
They found oil in the ground??? WTF. THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORSTTTT. FUCK MY LIFE FOR REAL THIS TIME
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🌿 naturesnaturalist Follow
I swear this website has 0 reading comprehension skills. Darwin NEVER claimed we "evolved" from apes like if one of you guys actually bothered to open his new book you'll see all his arguments are backed up by evidence. He actually makes a lot of sense
#sure there's nuance like i don't fully agree with all of it #but his general theory of natural selection seems pretty sound imo
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🤵🏻‍♂️ byronicherotournament Follow
🙈 butchbronte Follow
Of course these are the finalists lmao this website is so predictable. Anyway vote Heathcliff if you dont i'm going to assume you're a phrenologist
📖 sapphichelenburns Follow
It's not problematic to acknowledge the fact that Heathcliff was a brute like he literally killed dogs in case you forgot. #rochestersweep
🙈 butchbronte Follow
I love the implication here that Rochester never did anything cruel either. He literally locked his wife in the attic and lied to Jane about it 😭 like that was a pretty significant thing that happened
📖 sapphichelenburns Follow
And? God forbid women do anything
#why'd you have to pit two bad bitches against each other #anyway i'm not attracted to men but still went with rochester #bc in terms of living quarters thornfield hall > wuthering heights easily
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👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
Not the Russian tsar dying immediately after hartgrind became canon
#i know dickens hasn't technically confirmed it yet but like. SOMETHING was strongly implied ok #see: my previous post #dickensposting
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👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
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LORD HELP ME. THE BODY LANGUAGE. THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER. AHHHHHH
#this installment!!! im-- #dickensposting #i can't fucking cope #dickens wants to KILL us he wants us DEAD....
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⭐️ newamerican
Hi guys sorry I haven't been posting lately it's been so difficult getting to California 💀 I'm finally here now though just need to find a pickaxe and soon I'll be digging! :-) wish me luck lol
#gold #gold rush #gold rush grind #california #adventure
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nouvxllev · 7 months ago
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"When I saw you
I fell in love, and
you smiled
because you knew
-William Shakespeare"
LOVE.LOVE.LOVE.
I wanted to make a request! I had a similar interaction like this, and when I had read this, I fell inloveeeeee with this qoute sm. Can you do a Wednesday x Reader? In which it's Wednesday who actually falls inlove 😭
amore, amore, amore.
Pairing: Author!Wednesday Addams x Gn!Reader
Summary: request!! ^^
Words: 6.0k (oh what the fuck)
Warnings: told in WEDNESDAYS POV AND ALTERNATE TIMELINES!, the gomezification of wednesday addams prevails, yes they meet at a museum, also kinda 7 husbands of evelyn hugo coded, slight plottwist at the end!
a/n: aaaa ofc ofc!! also i absolutely love the idea where wednesday fell first and harder
masterlist
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I believe they cursed me the moment their lips became something worth fighting for.
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"If they intend to halt my publishing, then so be it. I have no interest in entertaining that brain-dead company over countless of reasons as to why I shouldn't spare a few weeks for myself who believe I will fall under their will."
"Wednesday, they're the ones who publish your books, you just can't ignore their calls."
"Barclay, has your brain deteriorated to a degree in such a way that you are forgetting it's my presence that upholds that fucking company? Without me, they are nothing. Have you forgotten with how much power I withhold over them, or have your scales reached that hollow of a brain?"
"You can't ignore the leverage they have over you, sure you have the amount of money, if not more, to sue them, but they could literally tip you off and brand you as some selfish author."
"Please do comprehensively explain to me as to why I would be a selfish author?"
"Wednesday Friday fucking Addams, it's because you're half-way across the fucking world at some fucking museum in Italy while you have a manuscript due a fucking week ago!"
"I fail to see my fault."
"Addams, if you don't get your shit together, I swear—"
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I had solved countless of murders in my time of Nevermore. I had one thing to do when I finally left, and I was going to succeed.
If you had told me after I willingly left that horrid place you call an educating institution that I would experience the same fate as an author, I would've traced the outer skin of your face with a pocket knife and display it on your family's doorstep.
Barclay, amongst others, remained someone I held close. She could be infuriating, but no one would ever be much deserving of a terrible, terrible position than be under my control as my manager when I pursued writing.
But no one tells you how people could easily forget you in a matter of seconds if you don't make a name for yourself when you've put yourself out there, even if it's something far, far from your own.
I was only fortunate enough people enjoyed what I publish.
I couldn't care less if they didn't, that's why I found it hard to give two shits about what that damned company thought of my revised schedule. But I needed to make a living. To make something out of myself.
If I had continued my actions— in which I have full control over with—I could lose everything.
I could've build it up from scratch if it happened, but Lucifer knows how long would a simple idea for a plot that could get into the lack of attention span of the population could take.
I could lose the name I print on paper.
I could lose my name.
And then I realized I haven't.
There was something that I was destined to fall under. It was there with my eyes taped to a painting, not knowing I became one for another.
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I hung up. The mere thought of having a multistep plan to eventually murder my manager was between God and me. That woman had me teetering on the edge of becoming a one-hit serial killer overnight.
My head tilted over a large painting towering amidst the others down the line. My hands remained tucked deep within the pockets of a trench coat far too oversized for me.
I couldn't take much time of squinting, staring as if it had garnered my interest not after a dreaded phone call that I convinced myself truly took my energy and managed to inject anesthesia inside my veins.
A light sway became evident in my steps, as if I was sulking in my own woe of what I should and could've done to prevent myself fucking it up on a company that I could soon own if not me being under the age of what is required to own a firm without having to ring up my own godforsaken of a family.
I could almost take another step if I wasn't met with another person.
Countless of papers flew across the hard-tiled floor. It was over before I knew what had happened. I found myself standing there, eyes glued to the person I collided with, my eyebrows crossed and my mouth hung open like a fool.
"I'm—I'm so sorry, fuck." They grit under their breath, like they were berating themselves while they picked up the rest of what had fell.
I stood there, not knowing what to do or what not to do but stare at them and wait for them to pull themselves up.
And so that's what I did.
I wish I hadn't.
Because now it was the time I was unable to speak. Unable to use the words I've been writing my novels with, the words that I should've spoken in the seconds they had landed in front of me. For the first time, my words had failed me.
A question rang in my head, Why do I now feel as if I do not belong inside of my own body? Why does my life feel complete now that they were here?
When Y/n fixed herself, she looked at me and smiled. I knew I looked like an idiot staring at them, yet I never went out of my way to barely fix myself.
Why were they smiling?
"Why are you smiling?" I asked under my breath, like I was taken breathless. I hadn't mean to say it out loud, but my cold and otherwise damned heart seemed to be alive, like I was suffocating in my own rate. A fool in front of them I must've been.
They looked at their paper, then they looked at me.
They smiled yet again. Another question flicked across my head, what had happened to me to act as if I would go through hell and back for this person?
They smiled at me as if my presence gave them a reason to. And they loved me in every one of it.  
"Sorry—" they apologized, noticing how their thumb kept grazing the surface of their sketch, almost as if they were nervous. "You look prettier than... whatever I drew."
They stole one more look of me.
"Terrifyingly bewitching."
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It's horrifying knowing I couldn't explain what I felt that day. What I know is—I felt everything.
I've endured endless remarks on my appearance ranging from a number of ratings from those nonsensical people on the internet to every synonym people have thrown my way only to fail to evoke even a flicker of emotion.
Though it seems egotistical, I knew they held one intention: they wanted to impress me. They wanted me to know they were different amongst others who have approached me. They wanted to entice me, as if I could be owned.
Were it not for the arsenal and threats I carried, there would be much more.
Y/n was different. They never had any intentions of being with me, no desire to impress or claim me as theirs. They simply wanted me to know I was. That it was true. I just had never heard it from someone who could mutter two words that felt perfect.
And it's much more terrifying knowing I unexpectedly fell first, even if I deny myself.
I could tell you about the way y/n smiled, how it seemed to threaten the sun, warning it not to shine lest it risk embarrassment in contrast of hers. I could tell you the way their eyes followed their smile, how their life was encapsulated in their drawings, mirroring what they felt.
Yet, when it comes to explaining how I fell for them, words escape me. Even I, a tortured author, struggle to describe.
How must I convey the sensation of my heart pounding in my ears as if it was trying to break me? The ache in my stomach, churning every chance it got, every fiber of my being dreadfully surrendering to them.
But one is for certain: meeting them was like coming home.
My home.
But I couldn't bring myself to realize that—It was antagonizing for me. Humiliating and mortifying knowing one person could make me become a total fool, become someone I've never thought I'd be.
I've spent my whole life after hiding what I felt for them, lest I risk experiencing what I truly loathe: love.
I despised them ever since I met them, loathed them, hated them. But for what for? I ask myself countless of times, I have never gotten an answer.
When they left, I left. Thinking it would be fate that had accidentally brought two people together who held no meaning for eachothers life, that it was a mistake, and I could've been wrong with how I'm feeling.
And when I came back, they were there.
And when I approached them, it felt right.
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It was a week after the incident, but no matter how I tried, I still remember how their smile felt around me. Suffering, irritating, lovely. Like I wanted to relieve it, no matter how much time had passed.
Never once did I get their name in the span of meeting them, it was useless to know anyway.
Yet, I find myself returning to the museum every chance I get for God knows what, acting as if I had unfinished business staring at paintings while the staff rambled beside me. They were better off tattooing their explanation in my skull.
I had other places to attend to, other tasks I should've been doing rather than constantly visiting museum in the afternoon as if I have duties and low-paid labor for employment.
I should've been at my apartment days ago, exhausting myself on a half-assed manuscript I would have recurring thoughts of annihilating along with severing Bianca's hands through the phone.
What terrified me is why I was back.
Standing in front of them. My hands tucked deep inside the pockets of another trench coat, looking down on them sitting on one of the blocks of granite surrounding a oddly placed tree in the middle of the hall, drawing whatever there is to draw.
"Hello." I greeted them. They almost looked startled, surprised that I was even talking to them, like I was some vengeful ghost who returned to seek revenge. Though they weren't far off.
They looked up, immediately flipping over their clipboard as they locked eyes with me.
"Oh—" They cleared their throat, "Hi. Hey, hello." They smiled, albeit awkward. But that feeling of dread, or whatever, came back. Stronger than ever, I feared. I almost had half the mind of punching them in the gut and questioning them why they had this effect on me.
"Didn't know you come here often." A chuckle followed their question, or maybe it was a statement, placing their elbows on their lap while they gazed right at me.
I scoffed, murmuring against gritted teeth why did I even approach them in the first place. "And I didn't know you draw me that often."
I look down on the piece of paper, their deliberate and aggressive brush strokes having an effect on the paper, leaving marks upon marks. It was clear that I've been their subject for days on end. Even if I were to absent, I'd still be able to be the pinnacle of their sketches.
It was funny back then, humorous in my mind on how quick they snatched the piece of paper and tried to explain with little to no comprehension that went across their mind.
"Oh, God, no, no! I just—Okay, well, maybe I've been drawing you ever since I saw you, it's creepy now that I mention it... but it's just—it's dumb of me to not draw you, you know?" They were flustered, their mouth opening and closing only for me to receive words that were out of the dictionary.
They sighed, my lips twitched.
"I'd like to ask," My voice trailed off, grimacing even at the thought of having to initiate a conversation with more or less than five words, "What's... your name?"
"Y/N," They nodded, "L/N. Y/N/L/N." They reached out for a handshake only to immediately retract after a brief awkward seconds of staring. Their name sounded familiar.
"Why are you here?"
"Do I need to reason to?"
"I suppose so, no. But I am curious." Even I don't know why I'm still back here.
Y/n sighed, like I was the one getting on their nerves while it was me who battling against whatever fucked-up demon spawned in my stomach that caused me to feel, things.
"Nothing."
I frowned. "You came here because of.... Nothing?"
"Mhm."
"You are drawing strangers you know nothing about because of nothing?"
"Thought I made myself clear on that first word."
"You've made yourself look foolish than any average person."
"Well, you never told me your name. I think that's foolish enough over my case."
It was my turn to sigh.
"Addams." I reluctantly said to them, "Wednesday, Addams."
Then Y/n looked up at me as if I was some sort of otherworldly deity going back down to earth to finish whatever I started. "Wednesday Addams. I think I've heard that name before."
"No. No, you haven't."
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If it wasn't horribly obvious, the sole purpose of my visit to Italy was to neglect everything I left behind in New York—especially deadlines— and hoped my eyes would finally work some sense that would let me start anew.
It was shameful of me, passion that dwindled into something less. If I had the chance, I would've tortured myself for even considering abandoning all of my life's work.
Though, I had my reasons. Even if I had threatened my target population and my audience, it still wouldn't be enough.
In short, I had lost motivation to pursue another book.
I felt as if there was something missing, that I couldn't even dare to even blow the collecting dust in the rims of my typewriter.
I begged for my brain to work, to even produce the slightest idea or word that could have some meaning to it. I was ready to write anything that came to mind, even if it was mediocre.
But, instead, my heart responded.
When I met Y/n, I started writing, and we started talking.
Words flowed through, and my time was wasted on Y/n.
My time was wasted, and they were wasted with their significant other.
I always thought I would suffer the thought of having to live an eternal life with none other than myself, that it was inevitable I was going to perish alone in my own woe.
It remained the same. Now, it's just having to live with the fact that my only greatest love had another.
I felt as if I ate a forbidden fruit once I heard they had someone that loved them as much as I denied myself of the same kind, like I plagued myself with hundreds of years of worry and attachment to someone who had eyes on another, a special muse they had.
Only that I would crumble immediately, tempted to take the fruit in my hands, forever stain my lips of something immoral so that I could forever crawl and weep over them.
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In my time in Italy, I thought i'd be avoiding acquaintances that would be much more of a burden to me rather than someone useful. Yet there I was, watching Y/n saunter into my life like the revelation they were.
It's safe to say that Y/n turned out to be anything but a burden. They became someone I looked forward to seeing every day, though I hadn't realized they were motivation until then.
"Wends!"
Their awfully cheerful voice pierced through the air of the restaurant, almost granting the attention from other people as if they shared the same horrendous and dreadful nickname as me.
As much as I fantasized about walking out of the restaurant with y/n's half-broken jaw, I couldn't deny whatever was swirling in my head.
Ever since they knew of that wretched nickname unfortunately given to me by none other by that infectious and the ever infuriating ball of sunshine, Enid Sinclair, they've been calling me it as if I don't have a birth name.
It was a month ever since I've known Y/n, and it was a month of them being a constant presence in my life. They shared breakfast with me, lunches, and sometimes dinners that I somehow always and reluctantly accepted.
They became my routine, and it was a fact I'd sooner die with than confess to anyone.
Y/n slowly approached my table that was filled to the brim with countless of books and my oddly placed typewriter, putting their own stuff down on the seat beside them. "You're here early. You ordered something yet?"
It was 12PM. We agreed on 1, and I came at 10.
I scoffed, keeping my eyes on the typewriter. "You, of all people, should know by now that I would much rather sooner paint myself neon than touch anything on this menu."
I hear y/n setting their elbows on the table, resting their face between their hands. "Aw, c'mon Wends, it wouldn't kill you.
"Cyanide won't, but this will." I stopped writing to take one look at them, obviously and oddly, my gaze never and will never work on them. "Take my advice if you're eager to leave this restaurant with a mouth able to eat and speak."
"Ever the happiest person, Wends." They chuckled, sliding a somehow too bright and colorful menu towards them, "I'll order for you."
I stopped writing all together, "Y/n."
"Wednesday." They raised an eyebrow, a smile tugging at her lips. It was over before I was even playing the game. Resistance over their lips felt futile anyway.
"Fine." I sighed, shutting my eyes closed just so that for once I can't have my stomach doing fucking acrobatics at the sight of them. "I will... allow it."
The ever-growing smile that crept up to their face was priceless, I couldn't bring myself to pry my eyes away. Murmuring something along the lines that I was too easy to lure in.
Once a waiter passed our table, Y/n ordered something along the lines of whatever the fuck 'Due Cream Soda Alla Vaniglia e Lampone con Glitter Commestibili' was. I was certain I was going to leave the restaurant with a non-working heart and a stomach turning inside and out.
It took no longer than a minute for Y/n to get a hold one of the numerous books piled infront of me. "Are you studying for something?" They asked, opening it only to close it once they noticed how outdated some of the languages are.
I let a small chuckle pass my lips. "What drives you to such a hypothesis."
They gestured to the books and my typewriter, "By how you're literally surrounded by books and you're on a fucking typewriter instead of a laptop." They pointed out, murmuring another, "Also, who the hell says hypothesis."
"People with functioning frontal lobes." I quipped, letting my fingers write on instinct across the typewriter keys as I listened to Y/n's ramblings. "I'm... writing."
"You're an author?"
"No."
"Then why—"
"Are you a painter? An artist?"
"Well... I—no?"
"Then we both don't know what we're doing."
Y/n fell silent moments after, I couldn't help but miss the sound of their voice. Admitting the mere thought aloud seemed absurd, let alone thinking it in the first place. I would've bashed my head on top of my typewriter if not for my resistance.
"How long will you be staying in Italy?" they eventually asked.
"Two more weeks," I replied. "My flight is already scheduled, I'll be leaving then on."
"Oh."
I wasn't expecting an answer anything other than a hint of happiness that I was eventually leaving their life.
"You are?" They repeated, as if they couldn't believe such a statement even escaped my lips, clear disappointment flickering across their face. "That's not... long."
"I am certainly not saying here indefinitely now that I have something to continue when I've arrived at my destination." I cleared out, doing my very best to escape the impending guilt washing over me.
"I'll miss you, Wednesday."
Their words were sincere. Lovely. It had stopped me from writing all together.
Guilt wasn't a feeling I was familiar with at the time. I rarely come across such a feeble emotion. Now it felt like I've committed something immoral. There were times that I lie for my own convenience, and nothing more than my own reason.
Now it felt like I should've lied for them.
I will forever miss you.
I wrote. I never showed them.
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One week had passed and I rarely ever got to see Y/n after. Our encounters became increasingly scarce, and their voice plagued me from days on end.
I clung to the faithless hope I had that they would text me, to reach out, to even show me they're alive and well.
I returned to the museum for every day they were absent in my life, searching for any sign of their presence, but each day ended in disappointment.
Of course, fate is indifferent to my yearning, refusing to grant someone I so desperately sought.
Regret gnawed at me as the days turned into a week, and the week turned into the day before my flight.
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"Addams. I've heard from others that you've been writing."
"Who others?"
"I'll spare a name to spare New York a corpse found in their sewage pipes by the time you've, hopefully I assume, returned and not jump off the plane."
"Even if I went off the grid, your nagging would've been in spirit."
"Don't flatter me."
"Don't kill yourself without showing me a video tape in full resolution for me to get through rough weeks. Or maybe take a shotgun and shoot yourself in your garage and let me have the keys to your house."
"Addams."
I sigh. "Yes, the rumors—though I would want that vampires head on a stake—are true. I've been writing."
"What happened to you there? You met someone?"
"How'd you know—No. No, I—I haven't. What makes you come to such a foolish conclusion?"
"Oh my God, someone actually managed Wednesday—I'd rather kill myself before loving anyone—Addams to fall terribly in love with them. Who's the unfortunate soul?"
"I would not be naming them because they do not exist."
"You just stuttered, Wednesday. The only thing making you stumble your words is when you're overdosing on whatever poison you're having for breakfast."
"They're no one."
"How are you such a bad liar when you have countless of bodies hidden across the globe?"
I sigh again, this time, it was out of annoyance. "I'll be hanging up. Goodbye, Barclay. If ever you are considering to kill yourself, call me. I'll be at my most happiest to watch."
"Wait, no, Wednesday! I need progress on your—"
I hung up. It was pointless to answer her calls when I was a mere few step away from boarding a plane. She always had a way of getting under my skin, even from across the damn globe.
But there was one name that would always surface in my thoughts: Y/n.
The mere thought of their name will forever remind me of how my heart wasn't programmed to love.
I reached for my phone, fingers tracing over the cold screen. My mind was tired, blank. The only thing I could ever do is stare at their contact and wish I could've done something better.
I typed out a hesitant message, my thumb hovering over the send button as if it was something that could end my world. Only two thoughts ran to my mind: Would they reply, or would my message be nothing to them?
I almost hit send before I heard footsteps approaching me.
"Y/n?"
I whispered their name, the love I carried for them being surrendered like I'd crawl for them once I reached purgatory.
"What are you doing here?" My eyebrows furrowed. How could they leave me, only to return as I was about to depart? "Why are you here, you disappeared, avoided me, why—"
"He proposed to me."
Oh.
I always thought a near-death experience with a loved one would be the deepest I could feel.
I realized I was wrong.
Now my eyes ached to the sting. Like I was weeping for someone that perished in my heart, I grieve for a living soul that was me. It was pathetic.
I expected them to be overjoyed, over the moon as they would express themselves from time to time.
But when I met their eyes, all I saw were tears streaming down their face.
Oh, how I wished to wipe their worries away.
"Then why are you crying?"
"I don't know if I love him."
"Nonsense... You told me you loved him—"
"Well, maybe I haven't been saying anything true to you!"
"Look, I don't know what I'm doing—I don't know what the hell are we doing. I'm living in some apartment with some guy I don't even know I even love, I'm currently standing here like an idiot to a girl who's just about to leave my life, and you're—"
"You're everything."
It was that moment I realized I was lost in a haze of admiration and love for Y/n.
That I was far too deep in their life that they became mine. I never knew I needed them as much when I told them to leave with me and break up with their significant other.
I never knew I needed their lips onto mine until the moment I pulled them close to me.
Now I ache of them.
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"Do you regret it, mother? Being such a fool for someone, you became what you hated most. But you endured it all for them."
Wednesday Addams, seating across the bed from her daughter, Blair Addams. She looked just like you, she'd always wonder.
Wednesday sighed, her hand reaching out to gently touch Blair's. "Do you know the phrase, 'Come ti vidi M’innamorai, E tu sorridi Perchè lo sai?'" she asked softly.
"You know I've never indulged myself in whatever you're reading." She shook her head with a smile. She looked even more like you.
She let her fingers trace patterns on her hand, her gaze wandering else where. "Well, it translates to 'When I first met you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew," she explained.
"And do you believe in that, mother?"
Wednesday could almost smile. Her daughter was always the curious one, yet she always managed to be privy of her life from them. "I always believed Y/N knew the moment we first laid eyes on each other, I fell in love with them."
"So, yes, my raven." She nodded, "I do."
"I never knew Y/n would make me their title, their theme, their muse," Wednesday pondered, "I always wondered why i fell for them."
"Falling is an accident, gullible, like with people who fail to do basic things. But I am one of those people if not more if I fell for their on accident and continued to do so."
She sat beside Blair, her legs crossed beside her. "I've never told you at the time, but Y/n was a painter. And they wanted nothing more but than to forget about their past. They have never told me as to why, but I believe them.""
"I worried that my love was violence. It was pain, it was suffering. But y/n took care of themselves, they took care of me. There is no one in the world who had loved me more than them, I fear that it would break them, that I am deemed no longer someone who is a part of their story."
"Yet here we are."
Wednesday couldn't see the smile creeping from her daughters lips. But she knew it was there, just like how you looked like before. She will always and forever take pride in it.
She always thought her greatest love could be something of a passion, a talent, a hobby perhaps.
But no one told her it could be a person.
Blair stretched and turned on a light beside her bed, opening a drawer and taking out two of Wednesday's books. "Must they be the reason your books has been off to your prior ones, mother? You've written all your life of gore and mystery. Now it's romance."
"Well, I—"
"Oh, I'm definitely the reason why your mother has been subtly—not-so-subtly, switching to the romance genre."
You peered through the door, your body wrapped up in a cozy boritto style and everything with a train draping it's way to your back like some met-gala dress.
"Oh, mon chéri," Wednesday's face lit up at the sight of you, immediately standing up and pulled you close, her arms enveloping you in a warm embrace.
Her lips met yours in soft kisses, leaving the taste of faint vanilla chapstick lingering on your lips. "Why are you up so late?"
"Well," You grinned against her lips, "I felt our bed getting cold and to my surprise my wife isn't nowhere near me. You know how I can't sleep without you." She pulled away, you whined at the lost of contact, but you couldn't smile more brightly as she led you towards your daughter. "G'evening, Blair."
"Evening, Y/n." She greeted you before you kissed her on the forehead.
You leaned against Wednesday's shoulder, whispering softly, "You're telling her our story again?"
Wednesday would've thought her small chuckle went unnoticed, but you definitely heard it. The stupid smile on your face told everything.
Her hand found yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. "She loves it."
"You love it, mother. Probably more than me." Blair retorted back, evident that she was holding back a laugh.
"I do not! When did I ever—"
"Oh, honey, you know love turns your mother into a girl version of your abuelo.
"Do not ever refer to me as my love drunk father or I will subject you to sleeping on the couch." Wednesday rolled her eyes, pinching the back of your palm. "And please do not shame my work of referring to it as such. I've worked hard day and night yet you proceed call it by such an exasperate—"
You turned your head and pressed a kiss on her cheek, the same spot where her freckles resided, causing her to pause mid-sentence. After atleast ten years of being with her, it always made you so giddy.
"Not even in marriage am I spared by your passive aggressive comments," you teased, your lips curling into a smile as you leaned in closer to her.
You hear your daughter sigh after a brief second, "Addams."
Wednesday almost looked shocked, "My Raven, do not call us by our last—"
"Please exit my room. I'll be going to sleep."
And then, the both of them were shoved off before they could even hug their daughter and kiss her goodnight like they always did.
"I... We were rejected, Y/n." Wednesday exclaimed, like she just got struck with the most heartbreaking news. "She used to love our stories together when she was an infant."
You'd think Wednesday was the non-chalant mom who's strict on her child. But, to your surprise, she was the opposite.
She loved Blair just as much she loved you. Hell, you even considered just maybe, maybe not, disowning your daughter because she gets Wednesday's attention more than you do.
You shrugged, taking her hand and leading her to your upstairs bedroom. "It gets stale once in a whileeeOW!" You winced as Wednesday pinched the back of your palm, again. It was starting to become her love language at this point.
"I'm just kidding!" You reassured her, intertwining your fingers with hers as you walked up the stairs together, pulling the door open for your wife. "She's just in her rebellious teen phase, let it go."
Wednesday rolled her eyes, "Too cliche."
"You used to have one too," you scoffed, settling onto your side of the bed and watching as she laid down on hers.
It was a routine you found yourself often doing, taking in the sight of your beloved as if your life with Wednesday was all a dream. You pinch yourself like almost thrice a day just to really make sure.
"Since when?" Wednesday asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement, quietly shuffling towards you.
You sat up for a moment to undo her braids. You always liked playing with her hair, and that one time she asked of you to undo hers, it became a routine. "Since the beginning of time. And somehow, you never grew out of it."
"You didn't even meet me in my teenage years. I am far from rebellious."
"Yes, baby, but not too far from a death penalty." You chuckled, reaching out to gentle stroke her hair, leaning in to press a soft kiss against her forehead.
"Oh, you flatter me," she replied, a smirk across her lips, but the room was too dim to even notice it.
By now, if you were any ordinary person, Wednesday would've made you disappear entirely. But, the thing is, Wednesday always seemed to look at you as if her life never really started until she found you.
Silence managed to take over the atmosphere, you laid back on the comfortable mattress, feeling Wednesday's head nestled on your arms that were tucked under her hair.
You could almost fall asleep in pure bliss knowing that you've met and loved the girl of your dreams if not for her calling out for you.
"Amore." She whispered.
"Amore?" She whispered again, her voice softer than ever before.
You blinked, momentarily. You swore you just heard an angel. "Yes, amore?"
"Can I... Can you—"
You smiled, almost too knowingly. You knew Wednesday, for someone who's such a romantic soul, she's not too expressive on simple terms like these. "Do you want to be the little spoon?"
She grimaced, you could even hear her grunts of disapproval. "I would highly refrain from calling it that before I jump out of bed and skin you from limb to limb. But... yes, I would like to."
A soft chuckle escaped your lips at her response, suppressing a grin to avoid from literally being murdered as you wrapped your arms around her and pulled her close.
Ten years before, if someone had told you that you're going to be doing this to girl you've met at a museum while trying to escape your past, let alone be happily married to her, you would've told them "How the fuck do you know that and please stay away, I have... a boyfriend. I guess."
But now, it seemed so believable. Wednesday was always so relaxed in your arms, your warmth and hers bringing a sort of comfort for the both of you.
You nuzzled your head against the back of her neck, gently moving strands of her hair aside as you pressed soft kisses against her skin, hoping to kick away her tension from the day.
"Stop pouting, Wends," you murmured softly into her skin as you closed your eyes in pure relief.
You hear her scoff, "I am not doing such a humiliating act."
"Oh but you so are." Your grin widening as you pressed another gentle kiss against her nape, "I can hear it from here."
Wednesday let out a sigh, of annoyance? Maybe. But was it tinged with pure adoration and love? Much so. "You don't hear pouts, Y/n."
"When it comes to you, I do and I can."
Silence washed over. This time, you're worried you've teased her that much, she actually got annoyed with you.
"You're awfully quiet. By this time, you're probably threatening to kill me."
"I'm... Sorry." Wednesday whispered, it has an undying tone of tenderness that you don't often see it being expressed through words from her. Slowly, she shifted her body to face yours.
One thing is for certain: She was still so terrifyingly bewitching if not more. She looked pretty in every way possible, it's hard to even believe, it left you in awe.
You feel her gaze darting on your eyes and then drifting down to your lips, hesitating even. It was ridiculous, in the most adorable way possible there is for an Addams like her.
"May I kiss you?"
"You know you're always welcome. It's pointless to ask."
She was the first to reach out, her hand finding it's way to the curve of your cheek, her touch gentle than ever as she traced the line of your jaw as if she was memorizing every feature of yours.
You cupped her face in reciprocation, leaning in closer to where your lips were just hovering inches away from hers. Then, you closed the space between the both of you.
You pulled away, your eyes meeting hers with a soft smile. It was impossible to think that this woman held your heart in her hands like it was nothing.
"Have I ever told you that you're pretty?" you whispered, letting your hands fall to her waist and pulled her close.
"Ever since you've met me."
“You know, I’m surprised you even remember our first meeting.”
“Oh, how could I ever forget my lover?”
You laughed, a symphony that always gets Wednesday to have a slight tug in her lips. “Stop being so romantic. You are a grown woman with a daughter.”
You continued to stare into her eyes as you drape the rest of the blanket for the both for you. "It's hard to think you're the first one to fall in love and not me."
"It's hard to think of anything when you're here with me, te amo." Wednesday replied, her gaze softening almost immediately.
You sighed. "You know I love you, right?"
Wednesday blinked. "I always will."
You smiled.
And Wednesday smiled back.
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a/n: this was longer than i thought. i yap too much in stories i fear
429 notes · View notes
damn-stark · 5 months ago
Text
Chapter 9 Pure as The Driven Snow
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Chapter 9 of Moonlight
A/N- We’re back with new chapters! I hope you guys like it. I got real nervous writing this. I don't know why! Also is it a sign that your dragon likes your lover more than your husband?
Warning- some swearing, talks of pregnancy, Angst!, fluff, hunting SPOILERS, LONG CHAPTER.
Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader
Episode- After 1x10 & before 2x01
(If you want to be tagged let me know)
————
*A FEW MONTHS AGO*
“Dragon fruit for the dragon Princess?”
“Pearl necklace for the Siren of Driftmark?”
“Oranges? They are good for a growing babe.”
You touch your 6-month-old swollen belly and come to another stop in front of a stand to study the big round oranges stacked so neatly on the crates.
“How much?” You ask the vendor.
The man puts his hands on his hips and studies his fruit for a moment before facing you. “Discount for you Princess. 5 Silver dragons.”
You glance at Aemond, and he makes his hesitation known before handing you your pouch of money. He doesn’t find this trip necessary, he says that whatever you want can be brought to you right away, especially because you’re with child, but, being stuck in the same rooms all day is torture! You told him the baby and you would go mad while batting your eyelashes really sweetly and he hesitantly accepted without a fight.
“I’ll give you 10 golden dragons instead of silver,” you tell the vendor as you get out the golden coins that make the man’s eyes almost pop out of eyes. “Find good use for it.”
The man shares a nervous laugh and takes the money, but holds your hand before he steps away and bows his head. “Thank you, Princess. Thank you, may the gods bless you and yours.”
You offer him a kind smile, and then gently pull away to pick the oranges, but he suddenly blocks the oranges with his hands. “No, these are no good. I have perfect ones. Juicy and sweet.”
He crouches and pulls out a box from under the table and hands it to you. Albeit before you can even reach for it, Ser Criston takes the box for you.
“Have a nice day, sir,” you direct at the man before you continue down the street lively with people.
“<He ripped you off you know,>” Aemond grumbles in High Valyrian so the people around you wouldn’t understand him.
You scoff softly and hook your arm around his. “In Winterfell, Lady Arra, and Lord Stark treated their people like they were friends and they got respect.” You sigh and shrug gently. “Of course, I know not everyone has good intentions, but Lord Stark taught me how to read people. I try to use his advice when talking to people here, it is why I know this guy was no trickster.”
Aemond hums in comprehension but doesn’t actually agree or take in what you said. You may be down amongst the people, but he’s in the clouds where he’s untouchable. The only thing that matters is your mention of Lord Stark.
“You and Lord Stark are close friends?”
You don’t remove your hand from his arm even if you’re tempted to, you don’t let your eyes flicker even if you have the burning need to look away to hide the truth. You keep the faint smile that decorates your features and keep looking around. “Well considering I lived in Winterfell for five years, yes, we are good friends. Or were.”
“You don’t write?” He probes and keeps his focus on you to try and watch for anything that might give you away. “You often get letters from Winterfell.”
There’s no excuse for a lingering silence, you can’t breathe a certain way because he’s paying close attention, so you turn your head to meet his gaze and share your rehearsed lie. “Sometimes, but I talk to someone else. A lady friend that lives in the castle. One of late Lady Arra’s friends.”
Aemond holds your gaze and tries to pick up on something just a hair out of place, but you keep composed well and he goes unaware once again, letting you let out a small breath and smile with relief.
“I won’t go poor by giving these people something extra. Bless them and the gods bless you. Lady Stark would say that.” You return the subject to what you were previously talking about. “Besides I actually got a craving for oranges. Or the babe did.” You grin and touch your belly again, feeling a small movement now that makes you giddy.
“Feel,” you beckon Aemond and snatch his hand from his side to press it against your small belly. “He’s moving.”
Aemond comes to a stop in the middle of the street and caresses your belly very gently, letting you watch his blue eye soften, and those thin lips show a faint smile.
And since it took him no time to show his affection or his bliss you can’t help but grin in awe before you slide his hand to the other side. “See?” You interject softly. “He wants oranges.”
A wider smile tugs on Aemond’s face before he takes your hand again and continues to walk with you down the street.
“You do not know that it is a boy,” he likes to remind you.
You giggle. “I do. It’s an instinct. When I imagine the babe I see a boy. Always. We will have a boy. I’ll even bet you.”
Aemond scoffs and smirks. “You can place your bets with Aegon. He never turns down the chance to gamble. I believe you.”
“Good,” you grin. “Now I wonder how many kids we will have, six? I want a big family. But if I can’t have so many I will be content with two, but we need to have a baby girl.”
“So you can name her Daenys?” Aemond finishes for you, making you look at him with awe.
“You remember?” You probe.
A small smirk spreads on his lips and he nods. “I do. You’d only bore me with stories about her.”
You roll your eyes. “I wouldn’t bore you. You’d bring me the books!”
“Because it was your favorite,” he counters softly.
You laugh softly and nod. “It still is. Maybe our Daenys will be an amazing dreamer just like the great legend that saved our house.”
“Yes,” he agrees with an obvious glee in his voice. “Maybe.”
You let out a content sigh and rest your head on his shoulder while you take in the stands you pass.
“Spare some food? Money?” A child with his face covered in dirt asks. “Something small?”
“<He just wants to steal from you, they always have money.>” Aemond points out.
Even if he did, you don’t care, you stop and turn to pick out an orange off the box.
The kids' eyes grow curious, and they follow your hand as you move it towards him. You pretend you’re going to give him a single orange, but you then hand it to Aemond and instead grab the box from Ser Criston’s hold.
“Take it,” you tell the kid. “It’s for you.”
You put the box down in front of him and offer him a smile before you move on. This time Aemond doesn’t remark on your actions—you wouldn't care either way, so he just lets it pass and takes your hand in his again so you wouldn’t wander off just as you approach the outer castle gates.
However, before you can cross the courtyard, a woman with a bright red dress walks out of her house and announces something that steals your immediate attention. “Wish to know your future, my Princess?”
“Princess,” Ser Criston immediately interjects. “She’s only trying to take your money. It’s a scam. Leave it.”
You flick your wrist down and take the money pouch from Aemond’s side.
“Your worry is misplaced, Ser,” the pretty lady with beautiful and remarkable colored eyes cuts in. “But I understand. Patience is a fickle thing is it not, Ser Criston Cole? If only you had known it, you would be happy now.” Her eyes dart to you and then go back to him quickly as if trying to point something out.
You don’t read into it, or demand an explanation, you let her continue as she looks between all three of you. “I am a humble servant of the Lord of Light,” she rebuttals, “I only mean to give the Princess insight for her eyes are covered and her soul is basked by darkness.”
You smile at her eagerly and let Aemond go to step towards her. “What is your name?” You ask first.
The woman's bright eyes meet yours and her lips tug upward just slightly. “I am Kinvara, Priestess of the Lord of Light.”
Your name passes Aemond’s lips, but you disregard his warning and the priestess tries to ease Aemond’s worry in your mother tongue. “<I am no one to fear, fear resides in the whispers that are heard in the shadows, and from the lips of pretenders,” she pauses and narrows her eyes on him. “You see clearly with her at your side, venture too far and you're left blind. Don’t let the shadows consume you, My Prince, or darkness is all you’ll know.>”
You glance at him and grin brightly before facing her again. “Now can you tell me what I seek?” You press impatiently.
Kinvara turns and walks inside, speechlessly motioning you to follow, but before you can you face Aemond first. “Wait for me out here,” you tell him.
Aemond shoots you a pointed glare and grabs your arm. “Let’s go. This is all fake. She will take your money.”
You pat his cheek and give him one last piece of reassurance. “She can try but she’ll never steal my riches,” you quip. “I’ll be fine, it’s just for fun.”
You shoot him a small smile and then lean in to kiss his cheek before you follow after the Red Priestess, finding a single fire lit on a golden bowl in the middle of the elegant parlor room.
“How much will it cost?” You ask her as you slowly wander to the stand holding the bowl.
“Nothing but your attention,” she shares in a soothing voice. “And a drop of your blood.”
You stop before the bowl and don’t question offering her your hand even if you should, and Kinvara doesn't make it any harder. She’s quick and doesn’t hesitate picking out a single thin needle before gently cupping your hand and poking the sharp end on the pad of your thumb.
When a scarlet drop of blood crawls out of the small wound she pulls your hand over the flames and turns it to face the flames. After the single drop of blood falls in the flames she lets your hand go and throws the needle in the flames to let the fire eat away at it.
“You have fire-made flesh, a gift from the Lord of Light,” she begins to say bluntly.
You would’ve liked to be eased into it, but you’re no expert so you clasp your hands over your belly and watch her eyes read the dancing flames with curiosity.
“You have salt-littered blood and a dragon-made soul that burns fiercely and passionately; she flies high within the clouds in search of something…” she lets the words slip out as if she was chanting a spell, and then meets your gaze across the flames.
You should be intimidated, but you’re just eager to know more.
“…three hearts,” Kinvara adds. “One made of ice, two of fire. Three soul made dragons…”
Three, huh?
“…and loyalty.”
It’s hard to piece anything together but you still can’t help but feel joy, and an overwhelming curiosity that pushes you to pick at one thing that caught your attention. “Three soul-made dragons? Does it mean I’ll have three kids?”
Kinvara smiles sweetly. “Smart girl, but you’ll have seven. The three I see will grow, they’ll know happiness and long lives.” She hums and blinks whilst her smile fades to a smirk. “But sins will burden them and cast over them like shadows.”
Right away your smile fades and for the first time since you saw her, fear begins to crawl across your mind. “What…does that mean?” You ask quietly.
The red priestess lifts her chin and sighs. “You’ll know.”
How insightful.
“One more thing,” she interjects and moves away from her spot to reach you and grab your hands “Fire kills the girl and awakens the dragon. Follow the flames for they are sweet to you since the moment your right was taken.”
You let out a deep breath and nod stiffly. You don’t understand completely, or at all actually, but you nod in comprehension before you just feed one more piece of curiosity. “Could I read the flames as well?”
Kinvara moves back across the flames and points her chin to the fire, encouraging you to try and read what the flames could tell you.
“You might not see your own future, remember that. If you see anything it will only be glimpses,” she lets you know while you step forward and focus your eyes on the bright flames seeming to lure you in; but not like every other time before, this calling is different now, you don’t have the urge to touch the flames or bathe yourself in their fierce beauty.
What calls you now are whispers; unclear, but trying to make sense in their own way.
“Listen,” Kinvara says as if can read your mind. “And open your eyes.”
She can’t mean your actual eyes because those are already open, she must mean it metaphorically or whatever, and as difficult as it seems you draw out a deep breath and focus on nothing else but the dancing flames; you don’t let Aemond come to mind, nor do you think about what was told to you, you narrow your gaze slightly and watch in silence.
After a few moments, you start to grow irritated, but suddenly before that frustration breaks your focus you freeze and catch your breath when you see snow falling. It’s clear as day as if you’re living through what you see.
Something falls with the snow though, something thicker and different in color. It’s slightly intoxicating and brings a stench of fire and smoke with it.
You have the urge to dive deeper to figure out what you see, but the scene changes to more white plains covered in snow, ashes, and bones, and above it stands a woman with silver hair. She stands above it all while a winter storm descends upon her. You see her start to turn her head but before you can make out her face, fire is all you see.
“<A long winter.> Kinvara breaks the silence and pulls your attention back to her.
“<Yes,>” you respond in High Valyrian as it actually makes sense.
The priestess offers you a smile and walks to the door. “It was a pleasure meeting you. I’ll see you again.”
You’re left in so much disbelief that you don’t question what she means by “I’ll see you again.”, you bid her a farewell and return to Aemond.
“I was about to barge in there,” Aemond says in a rush.
You blink repeatedly and meet his gaze with your disbelief still clinging to your features. Aemond notices and grabs your shoulders.
“What is it? What did she do?” He hisses.
You draw out a deep breath and with that push away all your disbelief to not worry him over something that’s not clear.
“Nothing, she simply told me we’ll have seven kids,” you share the only thing that was clear.
Aemond scoffs in disbelief but he leaves it at that. Just as you do.
——
*NOW. WINTERFELL*
When you think of home, Aerion, your mother, and your brothers are what you picture in your mind. They are your home, it doesn’t matter the place, as long as they’re with you that’s what you call home.
But oftentimes, when the word home comes up, when you think about home sometimes you picture these tall grey walls, you see these snow-covered hills, the white skies that stretch for miles and bring icy winds and delicate and beautiful snow. You see grey eyes and a timid smile. You remember the warmth from all the fires lit all day and the warmth his body provides. You think of home and someone who isn’t your husband is all you see. You try to fight it, but your longing is stronger than your will.
Now as you stand in these snowy planes and feel this instant comfort fill your heart all you can think about is how dangerous it is.
You were too hasty to make your suggestion and climb your dragon. You’re only steps away and as heart racing as it is, you also can’t help but strain your heart with anxiety as well.
Letters are completely different than seeing face to face again than feeling his hand grab yours and feeling his lips brush your knuckles. Jacaerys is here but will that stop your deep desires? Will that stop him from being mad at you for being distant and not writing to him anymore? Will that stop that tension?
But why is it that a problem?! You’re married! And you love Aemond, he’s your home too; him and Aerion are your family. A family you built after being apart from your own, and even if you have this new strain, you still want to fix it, you still want to fight for Aemond and your family. You have to be strong for them. You can’t give in to what feels comfortable and what your heart might cry for. You have to be strong. You have to be friends and nothing more.
“It’s snowing,” Jacerys muses as he reaches for a snowflake. “I honestly thought there would be more.”
You glance at the open gates and already imagine him waiting in that courtyard in front of his staff, family, and friends. It’s impossible to ignore two dragons descending in front of your home after hearing about an impending war and a call for a declaration from the Greens.
“It’s a lot colder than I thought it would be down here,” Jacaerys adds to his rambling. “How did you ever do it?”
“Well we are in the North,” you mutter unaware of your tone.
“Oh, no need to get snippy, I know where we are,” your brother remarks.
You sigh and turn to him. “Sorry,” you admit. “It's just what if he says no? It’s almost winter, his people need him here. And what would he gain from supporting one or the other, he could just decide to remain neutral.”
Jacaerys leans forward and tries to be assertive. “He’ll gain the Queen's lifelong gratitude, and a chance to prove his loyalty…he’s a Stark, you know that, they take pride in their loyalty. I don’t see why he’ll turn us away. Do you?”
No, but that’s not really why you’re worried, in one form or the other you just needed to be assured.
“I see your point,” you tell him.
Jacaerys gaze lingers on you to be an assuring brother for a moment longer before it’s time to break away from your running thoughts and growing panic and face Cregan with your head held up high, and a fierce determination on your face.
Yet when you walk past those main gates, that fierce determination is met with inklings of worry. Your head is high, but it’s practiced, it’s years of practice, there's a tension on your shoulders, and your breathing is slightly hitched because of your racing heart making your lungs work overtime.
You try to show your confidence in your stride, you are the Queen's daughter after all, but the closer you get to that courtyard the more you hide behind Jacaerys, as if that will help you avoid anything you’re about to face.
If someone were to guess, they’d say it’s your first time here with the way you’re cowering behind your brother and letting him carry all the confidence and pride for you both, but it’s not. As you trail behind your brother, some people you pass by actually recognize you.
You are Winterfell's luminous sun after all, the warmth and light in the darkest winter storm and lightest snow days, capable of melting the most stubborn ice. To their Lord though you are much more and it’s been easy to notice since the moment your purple dragon was seen. You are the reason he smiles, and the sun that gleams in his grey eyes.
But like the sun you hide. You finally make it to the main courtyard but Jacaerys is the first one seen and almost the only one they can see. You don’t want to come out of hiding because you don’t want to see him.
Your heart is pumping so fast, and your hands are trembling. You can almost feel a tightness grab ahold of your chest.
“Jacaerys,” you call out in a quiet panic.
Said man turns and when he does he uses his whole body to move away from you, in that moment leaving a clear and open view of none other than Cregan Stark. There he stands, tall, proud, and mighty. Grey eyes bright and soft even against his hardened gaze. His pink lips form into the faintest smile that you notice right away because you can’t help it, everyone and everything disappears, leaving only him and you in the snow-covered courtyard.
Not even your initial panic exists anymore, it melts away, and your body eases with a simple look into his familiar eyes. Your once-racing heart slows down, but now flutters and skips a beat, and you can’t stop it. Just like he can’t help himself because here you are again, across from him with light snow perfectly raining over you, eyes so deep and captivating that he loses himself within with ease. Your face is basked by a gleam of light that makes you so much more divine, and a heartwarming smile decorates your perfectly sculpted lips.
Now he knows composure, he knows his place, but in this small escape where only you and him exist, it’s costing everything within him not to break away and capture your lips with his. He just wants to grab and kiss you, but your trance is broken by the sound of your name being announced followed by your house.
“…of House Velaryon, wife of Aemond Targaryen.” And then there's that ridiculous reminder that you are not his anymore.
Luckily that cruel reminder is not with you, instead, there’s another, smaller in stature, but still standing tall and mighty with gold dragon emblems on his belt and on his cloaks broach. He proudly wears the colors black and red which shows who he is without the need of an introduction.
“Prince Jacaerys, of house Velaryon,” the guard still announces the man you’re accompanied with.
“My Prince, my Princess,” Cregan speaks in that thick northern accent that makes your heart swoon. “Welcome to Winterfell.” He bows his head, and the crowd behind him mirrors him.
When he raises his head again and stands tall the first thing he does is meet your gaze. You should glance away and share why you’re here, but you part your lips and only a soft breath comes out as you hold his gaze.
“It’s a pleasure to have you back, Princess,” Cregan addresses you formally, hiding away the history you share. “The North has missed you.”
Your cheeks grow warm, and your lips form a flattered smile before you announce it. “You flatter me, My Lord. I have missed the North, and the snow as well.”
He huffs in amusement and spares a glance at the falling snow. “Well you’re lucky then, it just started to snow. It seems you brought a late summer snow with you.”
You share a breathless giggle, and his eyes share his awe.
“My Lord,” Jacaerys cuts in and reminds you he’s here too.
“Oh right,” you cut in and look at your brother, seeing his eyebrows furrow as he looks at you and then glances at Cregan. You ignore him and grab his arm to go on proudly. “Lord Stark, my brother, and my mother's heir, Jacaerys Velaryon.” You share what he was already told, but it feels right to introduce him yourself again. “Jacaerys, this is Lord Cregan Stark.”
“It's a pleasure, my prince, welcome to the North,” Cregan addresses him kindly, making you smile. “Your sister has told me many tales about you. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”
Your brother bows his head. “Likewise, my sister speaks fondly of her stay here too.”
Cregan glances at you and the corner of his lips twitch ever so slightly.
“I do wish I was here under better circumstances to have some of that fun my sister always goes on about,” Jacaerys starts to get to the point, leaving no time to wander. But that’s good, you are here on business, you can’t forget that.
“But unfortunately we are here under orders of the Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen,” Jacaerys proclaims, making the crowd murmur as the whispers they’ve heard are finally confirmed.
Cregan nods stiffly and glances back at his great hall just behind him. “I assumed so,” he says and looks back at Jacaerys and you. “Let’s go talk inside. I’m sure this change of weather is not so agreeable for southerners used to warm summers.”
Jacaerys scoffs softly and nods before he follows Cregan’s lead unaware of the fact that he’s leaving you behind as you’re stopped by some people in the crowd.
“Princess,” a thin middle-aged man who works inside the castle greets you and steals your attention.
“Good sir, John,” you greet him with a smile. “How is your daughter?” You ask as you remember how she had been when you left.
The man nods eagerly and smiles in return. “Very well, my princess. Healthy and strong. The gods let her survive her fever,” he shares and points behind you. You follow his line of gaze and see his daughter in a tall tower watching what you can only assume are the dragons in the distance.
“I told you she’s strong,” you tell him with genuine relief.
“Princess,” one of the cooks addresses you, making you turn to her and smile.
“Ms Maribell,” you turn your attention to her. “I’m glad to see you.”
“And you,” she returns sweetly. “I hear you have a son, where is he now? Why didn’t you bring him?”
You nod. “Yes,” you share excitedly and touch your chest. “Aerion. He’s four months old, but sadly I had to leave him behind with my mother, what I’m out here doing is no place for children I’m afraid. But I do want to bring him after these affairs are in order.”
“When you do, stop by here,” she suggests. “I’m sure he’ll love Winterfell as much as you did.”
You grin and nod, but before you can add more to your friendly conversation, your name cuts through the icy breeze. You look over and see your brother with a pressing look.
“My brother beckons me, I’ll see you all later,” you excuse yourself and offer them a small head bow before you stride to your brother and take his arm.
“<We are not here for a friendly visit,” he whispers sharply in High Valyrian. “I know your history here, but please stay focused.>”
You sigh and look ahead, catching Cregan’s vigilant gaze focused on you after he, unbeknownst to you, watched you interact with his people and treated them like they were your long-lost friends. It honestly fills his heart with a warmth that makes his grey eyes gleam with a joy that you easily notice against his nonchalant expression while he waits for you and your brother.
Since he so often wears a hardened expression on his face it’s hard to know what he feels, but after five years you learned how to read him like a soulmate reads its other half without a need for words. Yet you don't know the exact reason why he was so touched.
“Forgive our delay,” Jacaerys instantly brings up like a proper Prince. “My sister is easily distracted.”
Cregan lets you walk in the great hall first and once the doors close behind him he huffs and responds. “Yes, I remember, so do not worry, my Prince.”
You glance at your brother and pass him a teasing look. He meets your gaze and shoots you a warning glare before he brings you both to a stop just under Lord Stark’s throne.
“I hope the northern winds weren’t too harsh,” Cregan addresses while he walks to his chair.
“Well they were colder the closer we got to Winterfell, but they helped our dragons pick up speed to deliver this message from Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen,” Jacaerys makes a quick workaround to why you’re here.
“Just last night I received an envoy from your uncle who calls himself King as well,” Cregan says as he takes the sealed scroll from Jacaerys.
“No, you got an envoy from a Usurper,” you immediately correct him. “The true ruler is the one the late King Viserys appointed as his heir, Queen Rhaenyra. That never changed nor was it his will for it to change after his death.”
Cregan glances at you and stares at you in silence for a moment as he processes your words before he finally opens the scroll and reads what was written.
“Your father bent the knee to Queen Rhaenyra when she was named heir, and swore that House Stark and the North will follow the line of succession,” Jacaerys adds to the point to try and further convince Cregan. “Now Queen Rhaenyra’s throne was stolen and demands you follow your father's path and stand proudly in support of her rule and war if it arises.”
You have seen so little of your brother's political side since you were reunited, so now that you see it you can’t help but be in awe of the man standing tall beside you, proving himself a worthy heir.
“Your words move me,” Cregan finally interjects as he lowers the scroll to look at Jacaerys and you. “And your presence honors me. Winterfell is almost at the edge of the world, but you still came to deliver this in your mother's regard,” he says and makes some of that tension release from Jacaerys shoulders. “I know of my father's oath to your Queen. I also know how deep disloyalty cuts when it’s made by one’s own kin, your sister was here to witness my uncle usurping my rightful place as Lord…which is why I do not intend to break oath today. The North will not break oath today,” Cregan proclaims confidently and with no falter, relieving your brother of his worry, but not yours.
“But,” Cregan proves your worry worthwhile. “Winter is coming my Prince, my Princess. And these seem almost like family affairs. The Queen has my loyalty, but why should we support this war? My priorities are with my people and providing for them before Winter arrives.”
You and Jacaerys share a conflicted look, but neither of you are stuck on what to say, you're just debating who should speak in your defense. You with an advantage, or Jacaerys with a blunt but respectful tongue?
Honestly, you both probably have great points, but in your speechless exchange, Jacaerys trusts you.
“I understand,” you argue and step forward, gaining all of Cregan’s attention. “I have not lived a true winter, but I understand your hesitance, My Lord. I understand your people need you now more than ever, but the Greens have an advantage, that’s something we can admit, and they will not be afraid to use it against you, and your Queen. They already steal from her, will you stand to see them take more? Will you stand and see your people and lands burnt? Will you sit and do nothing as injustice is acted upon your Queen? Or will you and your people fight for what’s right, and for the greater or good of the North?”
Cregan shifts in his seat and keeps his hardened gaze on you for a long and tense silence. You could read what he might be thinking, but you look at your brother and fall back by his side to wait for a response.
“Your words move me,” Cregan interjects with a small huff. “And leave me a lot to think about. I hope you understand my choice will not be taken lightly, I must speak with my own people on these matters, just be assured that the North supports the rightful Queen.”
Cregan stands from his seat and Jacaerys steps forward to cut in. “How long will we have to wait?”
Cregan raises his chin. “Soon, I swear,” he promises. “As for now, you must be tired from your travel. Baths will be drawn in your quarters, and supper will be served shortly in this hall.”
You draw in a deep breath and much to your surprise you’re the one who grows impatient instead of Jacaerys. “Thank you, My Lord Stark,” you deadpan and bow your head.
Said man catches your tone before the change on your face, but says nothing on the matter. Instead, he walks down and points to the door that leads to your apartments.
Yet before you can make any attempt to walk out, the doors open and a servant carrying a dark-haired child walks in, and without as much as insight to clue you in, you know who the child is right away, you can see it in his familiar dark eyes, and that kind resting face.
“Oh gods,” you muse excitedly and lose all your annoyance in the blink of an eye. “Is this baby Rickon?” You direct at Cregan.
“Yes, this is my boy,” he assures you and you don’t wait for the wet nurse to come to you, you meet her halfway.
“Jacaerys,” you exclaim as you grab the child’s hand with a bright grin. “I helped deliver this child!” You squeal and turn back to the baby.
“I believe it,” your brother mutters.
“Hello little Lord,” you greet the baby a bit too excited. “Look at you, you look like your mother…May I?” You direct at the wet nurse, and she doesn’t hesitate to hand you the child who is a mirror of Arra.
“Hello,” you greet him again a lot softer this time since he looks at you puzzled. “I know you don’t remember me, but I remember you. How old are you now? 1?”
You don’t expect an answer, but the baby does. “Hello.”
You beam at him and caress his head while you share a happy look at Cregan. “I can’t believe it. Words truly aren’t enough, Rickon is so big. I’m so proud.”
“He would’ve been out to greet you but you caught him in his naptime,” he says and steps towards you but keeps his distance.
“He looks like his mother,” you tell him and look back at Rickon, catching him taking the pearls around your neck. “Ah, yes, nice huh?”
“Hello,” he says again, making you laugh and turn to start heading to your quarters with the others trailing behind you. “My Aerion likes my jewelry too,” you tell him. “But he likes to suck on it. You just like to look at it, hm?”
“I reckon this little lord is a lot kinder than your Aerion,” Jacaerys teases as he falls by your side.
You roll your eyes at your brother and reassure Rickon. “Don't listen to him. He’s just mad because Aerion can sense his impatience. He’s very sweet, and I’m sure when he’s older you’ll be great friends. I’ll make sure of it.”
The baby is unbothered by what you say, but you couldn’t be more happier than to see Cregan and your friend's child. He reminds you of Arra, and when you think of Arra you think of where you are, and when you think of where you are all you feel is that comfort embracing you harder, consuming you little by little.
Which is dangerous, you know. The longer you stay here the more you let yourself get consumed by what’s familiar and kind that the reality in the distance becomes easy to forget.
But you can’t. You can’t let yourself feel complete comfort or you’ll run the risk of falling into the temptation you long for the most. Thus when you finish your bath you don’t linger in your borrowed quarters, nor do you explore what you left behind out of curiosity to see what’s new, you act as if you’ll be leaving any minute and visit where Arra was put to rest.
Yet that temptation finds you there and puts it all at risk. You don’t know about his looming presence until you turn away from Arra’s tomb.
“Lord Stark,” you gasp.
Cregan bows his head. “Forgive me I did not mean to startle you, I did not want to interrupt your moment that's all.”
You laugh nervously and glance back at Arra’s tomb. “If I did not visit her while I was here she would haunt me.”
Cregan hums and you stop avoiding his gaze to look into his grey eyes.
You had hoped to contain yourself, but in the silence that falls as you just look at one another, you can’t contain your joy, it takes over you and before you know it you’re beaming like a shining sun and striding over to him.
Cregan gives in the moment you break and meets you halfway with a tight and warm embrace.
“I had come to terms with not seeing you again,” Cregan breaks the silence first as he holds onto you.
“Me too. I really did not think I would see you again,” you murmur excitedly and hold on for longer than either of you wanted to. You just can’t seem to let go even if there's a shared silence in which you keep in words that you both are aching to say and just add tension.
“I…I’m happy to see you again,” he says instead and pulls back to face you
“You grew out your hair,” you point out to change the subject. “You said long hair was for barbarians.”
Cregan chuckles, and you smirk. “Well, I thought I could try it out,” he says. “And it keeps my neck warm.”
You study his brown hair that falls just above his shoulders and let yourself have this one thing. “I like it. It suits you well.”
Cregan offers you a thankful nod and takes this time to study you closely again. “You seem happier this time around,” he points out.
You scoff. “What are you saying? Did I look miserable when I got here six years ago?” You tease lightheartedly.
Cregan nods. “Yes. You did. This time you look happy though.”
You sigh and glance at the exit as if you’d see your brother. “Yes, well my brother is here. As annoying as he can be, I am happy he came with me.”
“Mhm.”
You smile softly in response and to avoid staring too long into his eyes you start to walk out. But for a few seconds as you walk aimlessly there’s a silence that lingers until he finds what to say. “Arra’s friend came to see me a few days after you left.”
You glance at him with a curious gaze and probe. “Why?”
He exhales deeply and confides in you what he hasn't had the heart to share in letters. “She came to blame me for her death. She said I was the reason she died.”
You come to an immediate halt, and he follows suit and slowly turns to face your sorrowful face.
“She was hurt, Cregan. It was not your fault. She was just grieving,” you try to comfort him even if he didn’t ask for it because you know how much guilt he already carries for Arra’s death and because you can't stand hearing him blame himself.
“Well, there is some truth to it is there not?” He says breathily and averts his gaze.
You draw in a deep breath and reach out, but before you can touch his arm you clasp your hands and fiddle with your ring. “No. There is not,” you say firmly. “Childbirth is not easy. I hate to admit it but her loss is common. It cannot be helped, so no it is not your fault. Arra’s friend was just grieving the woman she loved.”
Cregan blinks and meets your gaze with gratitude behind his perked lips but hesitation in his grey eyes. You don’t think he’s going to say anything and leave it as him just processing what you said, but as you continue walking side by side he finally interjects hesitantly.
“Your son…how is he?” He asks as if it pains him to actually ask.
You smile proudly. “Good. Spoiled endlessly by all the love my mother is giving him, but he’s good,” you muse. “I wish you could have met him.”
Cregan swallows thickly and finds it in himself to speak. “I wish I could have seen him too, I am sure he looks like you.”
You meet his gaze briefly and nod with glee.
There's so much you can say at this moment, but there’s also so much you can’t say that you end up in this battle of not knowing what you should do. Should you touch into this past that you need to keep closed? Or leave it all unspoken and just filled with tension that threatens to overflow and break you both?
No one would have to know. You could speak about this unspoken past you both cherish…But! Then you think of Aerion, and when you think of your son, you think of his father and once again, you still want to fight for this relationship even if you stand on opposite sides now.
Thus you leave it untouched and just lean towards something else.
However, when you speak Cregan’s name to address something else he also speaks your name, leaving you at a crossroads he luckily lets you cross first. “About why I came—”
“Did you come to sweet talk me, princess?” He cuts in and does assume right, but that’s not what you’re going to say.
“Maybe,” you laugh breathlessly and exhale deeply to get at what you want to say. “But look, I understand you’re needed here, your people are your priority. Winter is dangerous, which is why we won’t ask for a lot. We’re proud and honored to get your loyalty, but anything you can spare will help. We may have more dragons, but they lack experience in war, unlike Vhagar.”
Cregan nods in comprehension and does assure you honestly. “I meant when I said I’ll try. I want to help the Queen, I swear. Let me just see what I can spare, winter is not friendly, winter is cruel, you know that.”
More than most…and more than he knows…
“I know.” You agree softly. “How long will that take?”
He sighs and shrugs. “A couple of days. Not long. Why are you in a hurry?”
You drag your gaze over to pass him a knowing glance because he knows that your presence means much more than anyone knows, and it brings risks.
Still, he smirks faintly at you.
“I will say,” you admit and smile at him. “I am glad to be back in the North. I missed it. It’s so loud in Kings Landing compared to here. And the view from my chambers?!” You exclaim without a care in the world. “Over there it’s busy streets, and here it’s serene hills.”
Cregan chuckles softly. “I told you there’s no place for you so far South anymore. You bring your son here and it is over for you.”
You laugh and nod. “I do love the sun though, and a sea in which I can swim in!” You nudge his arm, and he leans to the side with a smile.
“I will bring the warm sea here, I told you.”
You snort and shake your head. “While I'm here we need to show Jacaerys some of the fun we would have. I want him to see some part of Winterfell before we leave.”
Of course, Cregan doesn’t argue, he gives in but when he meets your gaze from the corner of his eyes he grows sweet and smug. “Not all the fun though?”
You hold his gaze and shake your head. “No. Not all the fun.”
He hums and looks at you with a dangerous longing look that you quickly look away from.
“Ice fishing?” You suggest.
“You have an entire day to waste?” He brings up and clears his throat.
You hum in agreement and stroke your chin, unaware of the fact that you’re being walked into the great hall.
“Owl hunting?” Cregan teases in that stern nonchalance, and you can’t help but burst out laughing as you remember what he means by that.
“You think you’re funny huh?”
“You just laughed.”
You shake your head and grab his arm to laugh more and much harder.
“I can’t believe you fell for it the first time.” He keeps taunting you.
You stand tall and throw out an excuse. “I was young.”
Cregan looks at you with his eyebrows furrowed and you look at him and laugh again, unaware of how lost you were until you hear your brother.
“Sister. Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you.”
You blink repeatedly and catch your breath before you point back at where you came from. “I visited a friend, Arra, remember? I needed to go visit her resting place before we left.”
Your whereabouts don’t really matter anymore, he was worried when he knocked on your door and you didn’t answer, but now what he finds more interesting is who you walk in with. He looks between the both of you full of curiosity and takes note of the way you walked in laughing, as well as the smile you wear, and the faint one that decorates the Lord's lips.
“I hope you are both hungry,” Cregan interjects while you come to a stop in front of the grand table. “We had something prepared for your welcome.”
“That’s nice—”
“We’re starving,” you cut your brother off bluntly and make your way around the table. “Flying for so long isn’t only draining for our dragons, but for us too.”
You approach Jacaerys and he surprises you by pulling a chair out for you. “Oh,” you praise his gesture. “Thank you, Jace.”
When you sit though he doesn’t walk around Cregan's seat like he should have, he makes sure to sit at your other side, leaving you in between both men.
“<What are you doing?>” You demand to know in High Valyrian.
Jacaerys pulls in his chair close to the table and looks at you to whisper back. “<Sitting.>”
You blink and lean your head back with a teasing smile playing on your lips. “<Are you nervous?>”
He squints and rebuttals immediately. “<What? Why should I be?>”
You’re choosing to be too naive and pat his shoulder. “<Your big sister is here do not worry.>”
He swats your hand away, and you steal a glance over at Cregan taking his seat beside you
“How many days do you have to be here before your husband sends you a raven?” Jacaerys fills the silence.
At first, you don’t want to entertain his question, he’s only going to make fun of Aemond, but you give him an assumption to be nice. “Three days. The last thing he wrote was, ‘come home now. Your place is here.’ And that was before we left the Eyrie.”
Jacaerys leans in and continues. “Has he actually written that he misses you?”
You hold his gaze and part your lips to argue in your husband's defense, but those words have not been written on paper so you don't rebuttal Jacaerys, you deflect. “Have you tried to make a move on Baela?”
Jacaerys clenches his jaw and speaks through gritted teeth. “What are you on about?”
You grab the cup in front of you and shrug. “What? She is your betrothed, it's okay to sneak off and you know, have a little fun.”
“Stop it.”
You take a sip of your drink and lean towards him. “When we get home I will play a game and lock you both in a room—oh! No! I’m brilliant!” You exclaim and push yourself back, making him grimace.
“Shut up.”
“Nothing boosts romance more than a fun little adventure, just you and her alone,” you share excitedly without shame that you’re talking to your brother about romance as if he were a lady. The gods didn’t give you sisters, just five brothers, so you have to make the best of what you have. “I will throw you out of the castle to go fetch dragon eggs, or you know, something fun.”
“You’re childish,” he snaps at you under his breath.
You exhale deeply and sit back proudly. “And when your wedding comes I will be paralyzed with joy. Unless she marries one of our Velaryon cousins,” you finish in a whisper to just light a small fire under his ass.
“What?” Jacaerys asks in a shocked whisper, which you ignore to share an amused smile with Cregan.
“Princess,” you hear someone call before you see Lady Maribell approaching with servants carrying supper. “We made your favorite to welcome you and the Prince.”
You watch your plate get put down with a big appetite and then look at Lady Maribell and touch your chest. “Thank you, ma’am, I’ll make sure to savor it well.”
The lady bows her head and leaves the hall, letting you appreciate your supper and the fact that these people took the time to prepare your favorite meal by their own will, or for the wishes of someone else, you don’t know, but it’s a huge difference with the way you get treated in the Red Keep.
“I would like to make a toast,” Cregan’s voice booms throughout the hall as he stands up, pulling the attention of those gathered in the hall. “To the Prince and Princess. Welcome to Winterfell, you honor not only me but the entire North for coming in person in the Queen's regard…”
You smile up at Cregan before you share your joy with Jacaerys.
“Your stay will not be long, but we will do our best to make you feel at home,” Cregan continues before he looks over Jacaerys. “The North may be a drastic change, but it is beautiful. I hope you learn to grow fond of it just as much as your sister has.”
You don’t check Jacaerys reaction, you meet Cregan's gaze and follow him all the way down to his seat with a soft appreciative smile, while his own gaze softens…for a moment, because his gaze then drifts over your shoulder and it loses that gentle touch.
You follow his line of gaze and meet your brother's thankful but slightly narrowed look that he holds with a smile. And as to not make suspect something you raise your cup to him.
He returns the gesture before looking past you again, making you now look at your steaming food and let out a slow deep breath as you try to remind yourself to keep yourself contained. In doing so, albeit you remember the tragic dinner you had at King's Landing not many nights ago and you now start to feel amused by the memory.
You happen to let your gaze wander over to your brother in the midst, and he slowly locks eyes with you. Silence follows for a moment, but then as if mentally tangled with your thoughts you both start to giggle before you chuckle together.
“Man,” he says between laughs. “I wish I would have seen your right hook. I missed it!”
You cover your mouth and stifle the laugh you want to let out and respond. “He was so shocked! I was holding that in for so long!”
You snort and lean towards each other. “It was such a mess from the start, but I applaud your toast. That was smooth.”
“Really? Thank you, I think I landed it too.” He takes your compliment and you both laugh together again before he grabs your shoulder and turns you towards the man at your other side.
“Lord Stark,” he happily drags Cregan into the conversation. “Considering you are friends with my sister, I will tell you a great feat she completed a few nights ago on our last night at Kings Landing.”
You shake your head lightheartedly and lick your lips as you catch your breath.
“To make this story short, one thing led to another and my sister landed a right hook on the usurper,” Jacaerys shares, making the corner of Cregan's lips twitch.
“He slammed our brother's face into the table,” you try to give reason to your actions. “I acted. My rings helped too.”
Jacaerys laughs softly and you meet his gaze and smile wide.
“It seems like an impressive feat indeed,” Cregan says and lets his gaze linger on you. “But I cannot say it surprises me, your sister has never been one to recoil from such things. I’d say she's fond of it.”
“Too much,” Jacaerys remarks. “It is why she would always get in trouble.”
Cregan huffs softly and meets your gaze. “I only wish I could have seen it,” he says directly at you while also letting your brother hear.
You can’t help your deep breath, or stop your face from burning under his impressed gaze. You don't say anything but luckily that conversation leads to a lighthearted dinner where Jacaerys and Cregan start to talk more instead of just passing glances.
Unfortunately, you do the one thing you told yourself you didn’t want to do, and that’s losing yourself in the bliss that comes with interacting with your brother and Cregan, the man you…have a secret past with.
You thought you could do better, you wanted not to get lost at all, but it pulled you down rather quickly and you couldn’t fight it. Especially because there’s something about seeing Cregan interact with your brother without tension or disdain, that makes your heart swoon.
“Jacaerys,” you blurt and turn to him. “Let’s dance.”
His eyebrows pinch together and he shakes his head before he answers. “What? No!”
You ignore him and jump from your seat to grab his arm and pull him with you to the center without as much as a protest. He likes to act all tough and nonchalant in front of others but he’s a big sweetheart when it comes to you and your brothers.
And he proves that further when he doesn’t fail to make you smile when you’re dancing slowly at first to follow the beat of the music that plays in the corner. When the music picks up he becomes faster but disregards the actual beat to start spinning you around the room.
“That’s not how you dance this!” You remark without much meaning behind your words. “You’re going to get me drunk!”
“You can handle it. You love it!” He assumes right and goes faster around the room without that initial worry of being judged or carrying this tough and proper image.
Neither of you actually find a worry in the world, it’s just him and you in that moment, laughing, and unaware of the pair of grey eyes that follow you all around the room. People talk to him, and a commotion surrounds him but Cregan finds a way to keep watching you laugh with your brother as he takes you around the room.
He should feel somewhat upset that your brother is bringing this different kind of joy out of you that he never saw when it was just you and him, but his heart only fills with bliss as he sees you so overjoyed. He knew how much you missed your family when you were living in Winterfell, so how can he be upset and petty that you’re so drunk with bliss by your brother's company?
Only a fool would refuse you this joy.
“Princess!”
You come to a quick halt and give your attention to the one who seeks it; catching Ser Rolf, one of your greatest friends just past the door.
“Ser Rolf!” You greet once you know who has beckoned you, and let your brother go to rush to your friend.
“I heard you were here and I came as fast as I could,” he says and answers your curiosity as to where he’s been before you had the chance to ask. “I almost feared I missed you.”
You shake your head. “No, you got lucky. Come!” You pull him with you to return to your brother. “Ser Rolf, this is my brother, Prince Jacaerys Velaryon.” You immediately introduce them.
“My Prince,” Ser Rolf greets him properly.
“Jace, this is one of my greatest friends from here, Ser Rolf,” you explain. “He went to my engagement tourney and played in my honor.”
Ser Rolf scoffs. “Well, I needed to show off my skills, and not let you Southerners forget how talented we can be.”
You smile at him and you both purposely leave out the other reason why he had gone.
“It's nice to finally meet you,” Ser Rolf directs at your brother. “Your sister often spoke fondly of you and the rest of your family.”
“Did she?” Jacaerys presses and flashes you a smug smirk. “When we return to our brothers I’m proudly going to use that over her head.”
Ser Rolf laughs and nudges you, and you roll your eyes.
“Do you mind if I steal your sister from you, My Prince?” Ser Rolf asks.
Said man shakes his head. “Not at all, go ahead, I need to step out anyway. I will be back.”
You offer him a comprehensive smile and watch him leave the hall before you face your friend. “Are you going to dance with me?”
Ser Rolf scoffs. “No. Unless it’s a command.”
You smile in amusement and shake your head. “Never to you.”
“Good, I may be swift with a sword, but I'm afraid I'm not a gifted dancer. My wife can attest to that,” he breathes out and points his hand away from the crowd of people dancing to walk away together.
“How is your family?” You ask.
Your friend looks at you and smiles sweetly for the first time tonight. “Good. My girl is a year old and a delight. You have a son, I heard.”
You clasp your hands together and nod. “Yes, Aerion. He’s four months old, and his father's pride.” You share now that you can share it with someone since so many details about your son felt wrong being shared with Cregan.
“About…the father,” Ser Rolf picks on that matter as he sits around the first table you see. “I hope my actions in that tournament did not get you in trouble. I saw him later that night at a feast after the tournament was over.”
You sit down first and sigh before you shake your head. “No. Do not worry…was he…” you trail off and glance at the ring Aemond gave you to fiddle with it. “…with anyone?”
You can feel Ser Rolf press his gaze on you, but you avoid it and wait, even if you shouldn’t considering who’s occupying your mind now too.
“No,” Ser Rolf answers hesitantly, making your heart skip a beat. “He was lurking in the corner watching over the other silver-haired Prince.”
You swallow back nervously and meet your friend's gaze to press him since he didn’t sound convincing. “Tell me, Rolf. I can take the truth. I mean look at me, I’m on opposite sides of this war.”
Ser Rolf quickly shakes his head and looks at you with a pitiful look. “I swear it, Princess. He was lurking the entire night. When his brother brought in women and tried to gift him one as an engagement present, he finally left.”
You let out a relieved sigh and nod in comprehension, feeling a lot more assured now than before. “Thank you, my friend.”
“Of course.”
You feel it now…how much you’re starting to miss Aemond. Which is all so conflicting, but you admit it, you miss your husband, especially when it’s just you and him. That’s when he lets his guard down and lets out this person he keeps within; this sweet, affectionate, and amusing person that knows how to love you in the way you want to be loved, and knows the deepest parts of you, while he lets you know his.
He doesn’t hide his love for you in public, he's not overly affectionate but he makes it known that you’re all his and he’s all yours. And perhaps that makes you a little too attached to one another, but you take pride in it and never feel alone.
But…
Yes, there’s a but when you’re in Winterfell, when Cregan is close, and when he comes to mind. You can’t let Cregan go. The love you shared was so consuming, it was full of passion, it was exciting, and it had so much to give that no matter what, you could never get enough of one another.
But that's it isn't it? Was. You need to let go.
“How are you…holding up?” Ser Rolf breaks you from your troubled mind and only makes you confused. “With…you know…” he trails off and points to the side.
You follow his line of gaze and realize that he’s referring to Cregan.
“Rolf,” you warn him, making him laugh.
“He’s finally smiling,” he makes matters worse and makes you smile down at the table while your stupid heart skips a beat.
“He hasn’t been with anyone,” Ser Rolf clarifies and you snap your eyes at him and kick his shin.
“Stop.”
Rolf smirks and rubs his wounded area, while your eyes wander to the man you’re talking about, and you see him leaving the hall.
You almost find it in you to follow him out, but what will that bring? Nothing but temptation. You did good before when it was just him and you, but the stars are out, and the snow blankets the ground, it will feel like one of those nights when you would admire the sky in each other's embrace, and you’ll probably lose it, so you stay put and keep talking to your friend while also watching for your brother.
Eventually, more of Cregan's friends join Ser Rolf and you, but as much as you enjoy their company you can’t rest easy without knowing about your brother. He left a while ago and hasn’t returned. He would’ve told you if he went to bed, but he hasn’t. He said he needed to step out and hasn’t returned.
Maybe he froze out there since all he’s used to is a chill—but more seriously you should go check on him.
You stand up and just as you’re going to excuse yourself you catch your brother walking inside in front of Cregan.
They approach the table and you want to ask about your brother's whereabouts, but Cregan interjects. “I've decided we could take him hunting tomorrow morning and have lunch there, so he can know some of the North’s wilderness.”
You look at your brother and he gives you an assuring nod. And considering Cregan hasn’t given you an answer you have no choice but to accept. “Very well then.”
“I might’ve overshared with your brother just now,” Cregan continues to direct at you as you step back and sit back down.
“No, no,” Jacaerys shakes his head. “He glorified.”
You cross your leg over the other and press them. “What?”
Cregan glances at your brother and then looks back at you. “I might have praised your archery skills on dragonback.”
You smile at Cregan and pass your brother a cocky look. “It’s true. I am an excellent shot on Dragonback, but I cannot take all the credit, Astraea helps me when she flies. I think Lord Stark is just too in awe of the dragon itself.”
Cregan huffs and points his chin at you. “You are being too humble. You deserve the praise, not anyone can hit the target while moving, especially while flying. And you like to stand, which, that alone deserves its own praise.”
You shake your head. “You flatter me too much.”
“But I do suppose the same cannot be said about your traps. She almost caught her own leg once,” he shares a bit too amused. “Arra caught her in time.”
You shake your head. “It was not my fault,” you rebuttal. “You were distracting me. Hunting is done in silence and you distracted me.”
Cregan scoffs. “Are we talking about the same day?” He teases. “You are remembering wrong. I did not do such a thing.”
You touch your chest and slowly get up. “Lord Stark, are you calling me a liar?”
He shakes his head. “Admit it, you could have used help.”
You inhale deeply and nod. “Only if you admit you spoiled our bait for that fishing evening on your name day.”
Cregan parts his lips but he can’t deny you so he presses his lips together and nods slowly, causing you to nod in return, and share a mutual agreement to your questions through shared glances that you don’t break. There in the middle of your friends and brother, you look at each other as if it’s only you and him in that hall, in this world entirely. You exist only for each other.
Until the reminder tears it all down and pulls you back into reality. “Sister why don’t you sing us a song,” Jacaerys exposes you.
“What?” You gasp and ignore all the looks you get.
Jacaerys nods. “It seems fitting. It’s still early, I think it would be nice for you to fill the hall with your song.”
You blink repeatedly and shake your head quickly hoping he’ll get the hint, but he does the opposite as if purposely torturing you. “Wait…you have not sung here?”
You stay quiet and spare a glance at Cregan who is too amused by what’s going on.
“Wow…” Jacaerys trails off to chuckle before he faces the crowd of your friends and Cregan. “That is why she is called the Siren of Driftmark.”
You bite the inside of your cheek and groan.
“I thought you said it was because you were a good swimmer,” Ser Rolf points out.
You shake your head. “No,” you grumble.
Jacaerys moves over to you to grab your shoulder and shake you gently. “She’s really good. She sings all the time,” he praises you. “She just sang the other day when we got to Dragonstone.”
You shake your head and feign a smile. “No, no, my brother is being too nice. He’s exaggerating.” You laugh and then turn to your brother to shoot him a burning glare. “You’re exaggerating,” you sneer at him through gritted teeth.
Jacaerys chuckles and pushes you forward. “Sing us a song. Come on!”
You share a breathless chuckle and turn on your heels to point back at your brother. “I would not want you to cry,” you reveal and glance at the crowd. “When he was a boy he would hide at the back of the crowd so no one would see him cry when I sang.”
Jacaerys doesn’t give you the satisfaction of being flustered, he just smiles, and Cregan steps in.
“Come on, prove your name, princess.”
You pass him a glare and sigh deeply.
“Just one,” Cregan insists with a sweet and intrigued look that really makes it hard to say no to.
“Fine…” you give him brugrudgly. “But…I’ll sing a Sea Shanty. One father liked to sing with us, Jacaerys, so you can sing with me.” You smirk.
Your brother is quick though and shakes his head. “No, no, anyone happy enough can sing a Sea Shanty. Sing a different song.”
“You’ll be surprised not everyone can,” you murmur and stare at your brother with a piercing glare but don’t argue now. You’ll get nowhere, so you begin to step away from the crowd. “Only if you do it,” you protest and turn back to your brother.
“No,” he snaps.
“Do what?” Ser Rolf probes.
You grab your brother's arm and he gives your friend the answer. “Our father would present her to the crowd as if she was a famous singer before she sang.”
You nod eagerly and shake him, but he shakes his head to deny you of such a pleasure.
“I’ll do it,” Ser Rolf volunteers and takes you with him, but leaves you at the side as he runs to the center and steals everyone’s attention.
“Can I get everyone’s attention please! Tonight we have a special guest blessing this hall with her song! May I present the Siren of Driftmark!” He shouts and you don’t shy away or protest now, you run to the center, and bow to the crowd while you spread your arms out like a dragon spreads its wings.
“Hello, Winterfell!” You address the crowd and stand tall without a hint of smugness or your nose in the air to show your royal status, you show off a charm that hasn’t been seen in this hall and gains all the wavering attention to you, as if you were born to lead the masses. “Now, now I know what you may be wondering! Can she really sing, she’s never proved that to us! But,” you laugh softly. “I promise that I at least will not make your ears bleed.”
The crowd laughs and a warm look grows on the serious Lord’s face.
“This song goes to my brother who accompanies me this time around,” you let it be known so you don’t share all the attention. “And of course to your Lord Stark. Thank you for hosting us tonight, my friend.”
You flash him a smile and he nods gently in return, unable to keep his eyes off as you whisper to the band in the corner. He follows your every step with a curiosity that grows only as you clear your throat, take in the crowd that’s gathered in the hall, and draw out a deep breath, because after you part your lips and start to sing softly for all the crowd to hear, all he knows is complete awe as you grow louder and more enchanting with your song.
You become one with yourself and it makes it impossible for anyone to turn away, all the attention is on you as if you were a real-life siren. Yet no matter how many eyes watch you, how surprised and amazed everyone is, and how that prides you, all your attention falls on one man who only watches you with awe, because in this hall it’s just you and him once again.
——
*THE NEXT DAY*
Fishing has never been your strength, you enjoy the quality time when you go with someone, but besides that, you aren’t patient enough to wait for a fish to take the bait.
It’s why as you watch the blue fish in murky waters you make sure to stay out of the water as you slowly pick up your bow, and align your arrow, hoping it won’t hear you and swim off somehow.
Albeit the fish with blue scales moves, making you hold your breath and wait…
Good thing it just moves under the sunbeam that casts in the water. Now though, you do feel guilty for trying to kill it, it’s so beautiful, its scales glimmer a deep blue against the sun like the prettiest gems are stuck to it.
Yet a fish is all it is.
Before you can shoot though, the fish swims away quickly. “Damn, damn,” you hiss and move your aim along with its hasty movements to not let it get out of sight. And just before it can escape into the shallow river, you let the arrow go and luckily shoot the fish right through its eye.
“Haha,” you celebrate to yourself and throw your bow aside to pull your fur cloak off and leave it on the giant rock so it doesn't get wet when you step into the water.
“Oh,” you gasp at the icy touch and rush to grab the fish on the tips of your feet whilst letting out quick ‘oh’s at the cold touch of the water.
However, before you can attempt to turn and run out of the water you catch a branch snap behind you and stiffen.
There's only two people it can be, but you’re still so nervous that the Greens are going to find you that your mind panics and quickly makes you reach for your dagger around your belt.
When you hold the handle you slowly peer back and gasp when you just see Cregan. “Gods,” you breathe out and let the dagger go. “You startled me.”
Cregan finally walks out of the tree line and puts his hands up. “Forgive me, I didn’t want to interrupt your moment. Forgive me.”
You laugh nervously and walk out of the water with relief, and your trophy in hand.
“You’ve been on edge lately,” he points out as he watches you trade your trophy for your cloak.
You sigh. “With this impending war, my husband and his family have been insistent on getting me and Aerion back to King's Landing, that I fear they’ll be in every corner I turn,” you share as you hang your cloak around your shoulders.
Cregan drops his head and nods gently. “Well, no Greens will reach you here. You have my word.”
He looks up and you meet his gaze and offer him a gentle and thankful smile before you grab your arrow from the rock and show off your prize. “I promised my little brother Joffrey we would go fishing, but I think this way is more effective, do you not think?”
Cregan gets closer and tilts his head to the side to shrug. “Can’t say it’ll be called fishing if that’s the way you go.”
You scoff and flick your wrist to brush him off. “Sure it is, we will just use a bow and arrow to catch our fish. I don’t want to wait hours to get one on a hook.”
Cregan huffs and you take that as a challenge. “But I know fishing in the extreme is not for everyone.”
A faint smile breaks on his face and he remarks. “Who do you think you are talking to exactly?”
You shrug and pick up your bow to offer it to him. “Prove your skill, Lord Stark.”
Without further argument, Cregan takes the bow and narrows his gaze. “You know how much I hate it when you’re so formal with me,” he remarks.
You shoot him a simple teasing smile and let the bow go to fall by his side instead. “Alright there’s one right across from us,” you whisper as you hand him an arrow. “Quietly.”
Cregan aligns his arrow and tilts his head down toward you. “Who taught you to hunt?” He picks on your comment.
You lift your gaze, catching the gleam in his eyes, and giggle. His gaze lingers, threatening to drive your heart mad so you look down first and he follows your gaze to follow his prey. When he thinks he has the right angle to catch the fish he lets the arrow go, but the wooden weapon whizzes to the fish's side and only works to startle it away.
“Aha!” You blurt and grab his arm. “I told you. Skill!”
“Oh, hush you,” he brushes you off with a grin before he walks over to collect your arrow. “Oh, by the way, singing?! How come you never told me?”
You sit back on the giant rock and shrug. “One, because I was quite timid to sing to you,” you admit and make him smile at the ground. “And two…after my father died…I just lost my heart to sing. It did not feel right.”
Cregan steps out of the water and his smile fades to show his comprehension. “I understand,” he says quietly and puts your arrow bag in the leather holster.
“I would sing for my grandfather Viserys when I returned to the Red Keep, but I didn’t have a heart to sing until I had Aerion,” you muse as you miss your boy. “He made me find my voice again. And now he falls asleep to my song.”
“What a lucky lad,” Cregan says and steps toward. “You have a beautiful voice. I understand why you got your name.”
A warmth creeps on your cheeks and you smile at the rock beneath you. “Thank you,” you whisper. “And don’t take it as something I hid from you, you are just learning something new from me.”
He hums softly and adds. “It’s just a way to keep me on my toes, I respect that.”
You return his hum and blink to look over at him, catching his watchful gaze, and feeling at that moment a need to entrust him with something that’s been troubling you, something that didn’t satisfy you when you spoke about it to your grandmother.
“Can I ask you something?” You ask hesitantly. “If it makes you uncomfortable, tell me, all right?”
Cregan shifts in his stance and nods without hesitation. “It’s all right, go on,” he assures you to keep going.
You avert your gaze and fiddle with the ring that Aemond gifted you. “It’s just,” you breathe out and make sure Jacaerys isn’t approaching before you continue. “You’re the most loyal man I know. Your oaths are everything to you,” you tell him, making him slowly sit down beside you. “So can you tell me where my loyalties should lie? Should I return to my husband? Especially now that we have a child should I follow him blindly? Growing up, the Septa’s would plague me with how to be a good wife, Alicent makes indirect comments all the time, it's my job as a woman to be a loyal wife, but…” you trail off and look up at the sky and exhale shakily.
“I love my mother, I love my family, and I know she’s the one who belongs on the throne,” you continue to confide in him. “It was stolen from her, nothing will ever make me look at that differently. I will follow her rule, but…Aemond is my husband. He stands loyally on the other side, shouldn’t I stand by his side? Follow him blindly?” You ask from the depths of your torn heart and drop your gaze to look at Cregan with an aching look that wounds his heart.
“He might be your husband, and you may have a responsibility to him now that should come over your mother, but you still have your beliefs,” Cregan says with sincerity since he knows that all you need now is a friend, not a jealous ex-lover. “What you want still matters. And you know what you want to do, I hear it now, I see it with my own eyes. Don't betray yourself just because you don’t want to disappoint one or the other,” he reassures you softly and leans closer to you without actually touching your hand that’s pressed on the rock next to his, he doesn’t let his breath unfurl over your skin, or let his lips brush against your cheek. He just gets his face closer so you can feel his comfort.
“Would you do it?” You can’t help but ask. “Would you go against your wife if she was on opposite sides of a war?”
Cregan sighs deeply and doesn’t debate his answer, he nods, and you add something that pains him to hear because he knows what it really means. “Even if you loved her?”
Cregan swallows thickly but he doesn’t let his eyes fall, he nods stiffly. “If it was the right thing to do, yes. Even if it pained me.”
You drift your gaze away and nod, hoping you can beat the stinging in your throat, but tears fall from your eyes.
“It’s okay,” he whispers. “It will be okay.”
You sniffle and meet his gaze to probe speechlessly.
Cregan understands your gesture and nods, making you offer him a gentle smile and lean towards him. “Thank you, Cregan. It really means a lot.”
“Of course,” he says with a caring look that works to assure the doubt and lift the weight you’ve been carrying on your shoulders since you found out what happened.
“Thank you,” you add much to his surprise and yours while letting yourself grab his hand. “For loving me.”
Cregan stares at you for a lingering moment with his eyebrows furrowing and unknotting with every emotion that runs through his mind and makes his heart race. “I would do it again, it was my honor,” he speaks softly.
Your bottom lip trembles but you don't cry, you let your head fall on his shoulder for a brief second to express the deep unspoken love that you’ll never actually be able to let go. It’ll forever be scarred in your soul.
And that’s all you could ask for in this world full of horrors. Even if there's no proper goodbye, and there’s so much left untouched, this moment is all you could ever want, it welcomes a comforting silence that brings a smile to your face as you both watch the serene environment.
“We should find your brother,” Cregan breaks the silence after a long moment of being selfish.
You hesitate for a moment but you slide off the rock and collect your stuff before you lead the way back into the forest.
“Do you…” Cregan starts to say while he helps you by carrying the fish you caught. “Still dream of flying to faraway places?”
You keep your eyes out for your brother and purse your lips together as you sigh. “Would you be disappointed if I said I did? Only sometimes though.”
Cregan chuckles. “No, of course not. I’m glad you still do. Where to?”
You suck in air and twirl around to face him as you walk back. “Maybe,” you breathe out and happily share what he wants to know. “Yi Ti. I was given this beautiful gem necklace from there and I’ve been completely enamored by the place ever since. It’s said princes live in solid gold houses.” You nod eagerly, making him scoff.
“My most favorite gowns are made of silks from Yi Ti,” you muse and turn back around on your heels. “Some I have yet to wear because I have been saving them. Hopefully, I get to wear one soon! Don’t worry though my feet are still on the ground,” you make sure to assure Cregan. “I have not forgotten what I learned here.”
You hear him hum before he mutters. “I’m quite curious about these expensive gowns.”
Your breath catches in surprise and you peer over to shoot him a pointed look. He responds by flashing you a charming smile that makes you roll your eyes and hold back your smile.
Thankfully in that next moment, you spot your brother in the distance and force all your focus on him.
Jacaerys doesn’t seem to spot you right away though, so after a quick and brilliant idea hits you you leave Cregan behind to sneak around Jacaerys. Once you get close and he’s made some distance from the tree you’re hiding behind, you slip out and avoid stepping on all the branches and dry leaves. When you’re close enough you bite back your smile and raise your hands to jump on his back, but much to your misfortune he’s too perceptive and ruins your plan. “I saw your foot behind the tree.”
You blow out air and drop your arms with a pout. Jacaerys turns and spots Cregan walking out of the shadows first before he faces you and shows off the rabbits he caught. “What did you catch?”
You frown deeper and point at the single fish, making him chuckle. “That’s all?! I thought you were some great hunter!”
You roll your eyes and sputter out an excuse. “Well, I did see some rabbits but I didn’t want to kill them, they were adorable.”
And you can’t say Cregan distracted you either, for the most part, you were just walking and taking in the sights you left behind last year.
“Uh-huh.” Jacaerys nods with a smug smile on his face. “Sure,” he quips. “You are such a girl.”
You roll your eyes and wave him off before you get ahead of the group and lead the way to a distant clearing where you’ll have lunch. “A few months back,” you share to fill the silence and avoid your previous topic. “I was at the market street and on our way back I ran into this Red priestess.”
“A witch,” Jacaerys corrects you, causing you to turn around and counter.
“No, a red priestess. Calling them witches is kind of mean.”
Jacaerys scoffs and turns to Cregan for support. “I say witches, what do you call them here, Lord Stark?”
Said man grabs his blade hooked on his belt and meets your brother's gaze with a hidden smugness behind his eyes. “Witches, but sometimes we call them pretenders, depending on the price.”
Jacaerys chuckles and you know they’re obviously just working against you so you choose to ignore the negativity and go on. “Anyway!” You exclaim and twirl back around. “She told me my future. She said…” you leave them with anticipation for a few seconds before you share what you were told. “I would have seven kids.”
“Gods,” Jacaerys murmurs.
“Mhmm.”
“Now,” Jacaerys cuts in and rushes over to fall by your side, leading Cregan to fall on your other side—“Who will give you all these children if your husband dies in this war?”
Without as much as thinking you turn to your brother and nudge his chest to make him think it’s something you planned when really you’re just teasing him. Kind of. “You. We could get married.”
Your brother's face falls and he immediately shakes his head and turns you down bluntly. “No. I would not marry you.”
“Oh right, there’s Baela,” you point out and grab your chin as you think deeply. “Well…I could take her. She’s quite terrifying, but yes,” you nod and look back at your brother. “I can take her in both a dragon fight and hand-to-hand combat…I think.”
Jacaerys' nose scrunches and he shakes his head again. “No, I would not marry you! You are…you.”
You look around confused and pick on that considering your house is known to marry within the family to keep the bloodlines pure. Aegon and Helaena are married.
“So?”
Jacaerys parts his lips but he can’t think of a strong argument that will beat the truth. Yet you do take a good look at Jacaerys and find an excuse. “You are right,” you mutter. “We could not, I do favor taller men, thus maybe...” you trail off to think, leaving Jacaerys offended by your bold comment.
“A Prince from Yi Ti with a house made of gold,” Cregan finishes for you, making you snap your eyes at him and smile slowly in amusement.
“Funny,” you hold back your laugh. “Very funny.”
He rolls his head down and hides his smile.
Gods laughing with him is so much better in person. He can be very funny in a serious way that only makes what he says or does that much funnier.
“She also let me see in the fire,” you continue to share more excitedly now. “And what I saw was a girl—”
“Wait, wait,” Jacaerys cuts you off and wipes away his smile. “Now when this priestess of yours talked to you, was she on the other side of this fire?”
You look away and bite your cheek before you lie by shaking your head as a response.
Albeit Cregan knows you well and points you out. “Liar.”
“Yes, fine!” You exclaim and gently nudge him away. “She was at the other side, but it was not her that I saw, it was a girl with silver hair,” you catch your brother's serious attention now. “She…stood on top of a mountain covered in snow, ashes, and death.”
Cregan’s own amusement falls and your brother doesn’t dare to tease you now, so you go on.
“All brought by…<A long winter,>,” you finish in High Valyrian to mirror the way the Red Priestess told you before you repeat in the common tongue. “A long winter.”
Both men look at you but one doesn’t look at you with disbelief, nor fear, he’s serious and deep in thought, while your brother lets out a dry laugh and shakes his head to try and deny what you shared.
“I believe it,” you defend yourself and what you saw in that fire because it was clear as day as if you were seeing a memory that hasn’t happened.
“I also believe what this old man said about Ice dragons living past the wall,” you tell your brother, and Cregan interjects right away.
“Old man Thomas is known for tall tales. There are things that are true, but what he says is not.”
You shrug. “He’s well-traveled, why wouldn’t it be true?” You rebuttal and lean towards him.
“Because,” Cregan argues and leans towards you. “He likes attention. And he’s drunk all the time.”
“A drunk man is less likely to lie, you know that because you don’t lie when you’re drunk.”
His lips twitch and before he can respond with something in his defense his eyes turn to your brother at your other side. You discreetly follow his line of gaze and catch your brother's attention so you play it off quickly.
“All I’m saying is I believe what I saw, it may not happen in our lifetime, but it’s in our future,”
A short silence follows that only works to make you grow nervous over what your brother might’ve just thought. But he thankfully brushes you off.
“Maybe but you probably got ripped off by a fake witch.”
Once again you choose to ignore this negativity spouted by your brother and instead drift your attention to lunch, and since Cregan was more in charge of guiding Jacaerys, he didn’t catch anything. All you have is the single fish you caught and the rabbits Jacaerys caught, but neither one of you wants to skin them, so you eat a small lunch and share the fish over a quite fun moment where you, unfortunately, don't receive an answer from Cregan, regarding what he’s willing to offer your mother.
You hoped he’d finally say it during supper, but supper came and passed, and nothing. That lack of response followed until the next two days too, leaving your brother quite impatient now.
“What have you told him?” Jacaerys greets you ever so warmly.
“What have I told who?” You pretend to act clueless while you pick a square cake from the tray and study it before you plop it into your mouth.
“Lord Stark,” he snaps.
You knew he was getting to that since you spotted him stomping over to you and Astraea, but you had hoped he wouldn’t get to it yet.
“It's been days and you said you would talk to him! We don’t have days to waste,” he remarks and spats out your name before going on to give you a mean reminder. “We need to leave and we have nothing.”
You don’t intend to sit up or fix your gaze on your brother, you keep yourself against your dragon's large arm and respond calmly. “He promised he would give us an answer—”
“When?” Jacaerys cuts you off and crouches down to take the tray of cake from you. “When?”
You drag your eyes up and nonchalantly answer. “He cannot pull the army out of his ass, Jacaerys. We have to wait, if he promised he would do something he is going to do it.”
Your brother rolls his eyes and turns away to let out a frustrated breath. “There's a difference between saying a promise and actually committing to it. I do not know how close you are or if you have actually talked to him, but you need to figure something out, that is why you are here.” He mutters.
You watch him knowing that he has a right to be annoyed, Lady Arryn gave you her answer quite quickly, and you’ve been in Winterfell for days but still haven’t received a word on what Cregan will give to support his Queen, but you also trust Cregan, you know he’s going to do what he says, you just need to wait.
“I’ll talk to him again,” you assure him. “If he doesn’t give anything then we’ll return home with his simple loyalty.”
Jacaerys rests his hand on his hip and lets out a deep breath. “All right, that sounds good.”
You sigh and nod, letting a silence linger for a moment before you lean forward. “Can I get those back?”
“What?” He breathes out and turns all dramatically with his cloak twirling with him.
“My cake pieces,” you point at the tray in his hand with your eyes.
Jacaerys passes you a judgmental look before he leans over and lets you take the tray he took.
“Aemond found me,” you let him know of the raven that came to you this morning. “He said ‘come home at once’. Shorter than the last one but still persistent.” You giggle.
Jacaerys walks over to sit next to you against a sleeping Astraea. “Will you?” He asks with genuine curiosity.
You take a cake piece and shake your head. “No…our mother belongs on that throne and I am going to stand by that,” you say confidently now that you know where you want to stand. “He can try to take me by force if he wants, but I am going to fight for her.”
Jacaerys looks over at you with a faint smile and nods in comprehension. “I’m glad to hear it.”
You mirror his smile and offer him a piece of cake. As he takes one a memory creeps in and your smile widens before you can tell it to him. “Do you remember a few years ago, when Lucerys disowned me because he thought I ate the last piece of lemon cake?”
Midchew Jacaerys loses himself in thought before he snorts, spitting out pieces of cake, and causing you to scrunch your nose in disgust.
“Ew,” you grumble and he interjects abruptly.
“Yes! I remember he’s like you cannot be my sister anymore because you are selfish and you ate it all!” He mocks your younger brother.
You giggle and nod, but before you can add to that shared memory Astraea suddenly raises her head, bringing Jacaerys and you to a pause to look over; noticing none other than Cregan approaching.
When he’s near he bows his head and greets the both of you on the ground. “Good day, my princess, my prince.”
You smile at him and greet him for both Jacaerys and you. “Good day. It is nice to see your face today, we ate lunch and breakfast alone.”
Cregan bows his head again. “I am terribly sorry, I have been busy all day, I only barely got out.”
You remember his long days, on some terribly long ones, he wouldn't be let out until it was time to go to bed. You would usually meet him in his chambers on those days and just lay down enjoying each other's company. Today all you can do is look at each other as nothing but old friends.
“I hope your day has not been dull,” Cregan worries.
You shake your head. “No, we were just reminiscing about a day of our childhood when,” you snicker and go on. “Our little brother Lucerys disowned me because he thought I ate the last piece of lemon cake.”
Jacaerys nods and continues the story for you. “We both knew there was more so she pretended to leave. Our mother came in a few moments later with more and Lucerys completely freaked,” Jacaerys laughs and stands up as if that would change the way he was telling it. “He started bawling and ran out to look for our sister.”
“When he found me,” you finish the story. “He’s like I am so sorry, I never meant what I said. Come back, do not leave us. You can have as much cake as you want!” You finish with a laugh and Jacaerys joins you.
“That sounds like quite a memory,” Cregan says and reaches out to pat your dragon's snout since she leans towards him with dilated eyes. “Did your mother say anything?”
You and Jacaerys stare at one another in search of the answer, but you can’t recall.
“Not that I remember,” you mention and look back at Cregan. “But it was quite a memory. Lucerys is a sweetheart.”
Cregan hums and Astraea groans softly in response to his touch.
“Oh, maybe you needed something, my Lord?” Jacaerys only asks now.
“Well,” Cregan sighs. “I only wanted to invite the both of you to Castle Black on the morrow so you could see the wall, My Prince. Just before you leave, that is.”
You and your brother share a hopeful look and even if Jacaerys was quite impatient to leave, now he accepts Cregan's invitation. “I have always wanted to see the wall. It would be a pleasure.”
“Good, we will leave at first light then.” Cregan lets you both know and leaves you hoping for a good response that will hopefully make your mother proud.
.
.
.
.
A/N- Who’s the 2nd heart of fire? A new character we’re getting soon, or someone else
Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @lauftivy @winxschester @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @patdsinner33 @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin @todoroki-slut @snh96 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @nifujiswhore @sweethoneyblossom1 @kaetastic @lightdragonrayne @squidscottjeans @oh-you-mean-me
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sahisan · 1 month ago
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— ooh, i still have your lighter.
featuring . chuuya nakahara.
tags . sfw. swearing. exes who can't get over each other. unhealthy coping mechanisms (mostly for reader (alcohol)). mention of smoking. a lot of alcohol. angst. a lot of angst. more angst. could've been 5+1 typa thing but it's not that, just small drabbles. gn reader. wc 1.9k.
author note . this is like actually very rushed because i really want to sleep but i needed to finish this before going to sleep so yes. maybe i'll beta read in the morning. maybe. also almost died writing this bye why do i love suffering. also guess what the name of this one is taken of.
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"i still have your sweater."
chuuya hears how your voice is a bit quieter and more slurred than usual due to the effects of alcohol in your blood, and he can't really tell if he likes it or not with how you'd woken him up at nearly 2am to talk. again. sure, alcohol and all that, but he doesn't know if his current, sleepy comprehension of what's going on is better than your drunken one.
he intakes a breath at your words.
"the grey one," you continue quietly, and chuuya can hear you shifting your head on whatever you're laying it on through the speaker. "i haven't even washed it yet. it still smells like you."
in that very moment, he wants your drunk ass to just shut up and go to sleep.
but then there's your voice. intoxicated and quiet and soft, almost as soft as it was when you'd talk to him when you were together.
chuuya hates reminiscing.
he remembers that sweater. just a plain, grey sweater, but he also remembers you taking a liking to it very quickly. he still remembers you walking around in it, still remembers how he had to force you to take it off because you wouldn't budge.
he remembers a lot.
"just how drunk are you," chuuya mumbles as if scolding or complaining or both, but he can't deny that he tries to mask the shakiness in his voice with the sounds of his bedsheets' shuffling.
"mmmaybe two sake bottles in," you tell him then.
"jesus," he mutters, rubbing a hand down his face. he's trying to remain composed, but god, is it hard. not only is he pissed off due to your drunk phone call, but a mix of bitterness and sorrow also runs through him at the realization that you still have a bit of him in your life and you still keep these bits.
well, he isn't any better, actually.
"you still got my sweater, huh?" chuuya blurts, trying to ignore the ache in his heart.
he scoffs, a frown on his face. his tone is harsh but his actual feelings still somehow manage to show through the way he speaks; he's hurting more than he's angry.
"...i still have your stupid fucking lighter," he ends up mumbling after a beat of silence.
there's more silence from you as he says the words, and chuuya exhales a breath through the lump in his throat, wishing for it to just disappear.
he hears you hum. "the silver one?" you ask, and it's his turn to hum in reply. "...you still use it?"
"yeah," he ends up breathing out.
"every fucking day," chuuya responds, words much softer now somehow despite the curses, his eyes now fixed on the ceiling above him.
and it hurts, it really does. to know that you, despite having a new life, still call him when drunk, still own his sweater, and now the realization that he still holds a piece of you as well.
he never told you that, never said a word about how the lighter never left his pocket ever since you left him, and he wasn't planning on, but chuuya, in fact, had started smoking much more since after you left.
he hopes the lighter will never break.
chuuya hadn't answered your calls for a month.
"where the hell have you been?" you throw at him instantly the second he picks up on the fourth ring.
"in france, idiot," he points out with a scrunch of his face, plopping down on his bed and exhaling a near groan-like sigh, the memories of the recent overseas mission creeping up his mind.
fucking city of love.
he hears you hum, and then sound of rustling, as if you're shifting in your own bed. you're not drunk this time—thank god—but you do sound a bit more... melancholic, if he compares to your voice during the latest calls.
"mm, and how was france?" you ask, voice slightly quieter like you're focused on something else besides the call. he hopes you aren't.
chuuya scoffs. he takes in a breath, turning to lay on his side and press his phone to another ear, "ça aurait été bien mieux avec toi," he mumbles out at an exhale, using the harsher tone of voice to make it sound like he'd said something bad about his trip—and not like he'd said something about you. no. not in a century.
and you laugh. you actually laugh, and, at first, he doesn't understand why—at what are you laughing? did you somehow understand what he said? were you secretly learning french all these years away to catch him saying something like this? could be possible, knowing you, but the sound of your laughter literally interrupts all his thoughts and he can't focus on anything—
"at least translate, come on," he hears you say, voice still a bit breathy from the recent laughter. "don't tell me france was that bad."
chuuya has to move his phone from his ear for a good few meters away to exhale a loud, relieving breath through his mouth.
"not translating you anythin', i'm not your personal translator," he says once he brings the phone back to his ear, scowling and huffing. "you're gonna struggle with trying to understand what i said for the rest of your life now, that's what you get."
he still has to get over the sound of your laughter. perhaps it's the first time he's heard it in years.
("would've been much better with you.")
it's nearing half past midnight, and chuuya, somehow, already knows you're drunk as hell as he picks up the call.
he's in the middle of a trip back home from work when he does, leaving a single hand on the steering wheel as he answers.
yeah, you're definitely drunk.
"enjoying yourself?" he mutters dryly, huffing out a breath as he hears your nearly incoherent mumbling on the other line.
he listens to it nearly a minute, stuck on a red traffic light.
"hey," chuuya calls out quietly, exhaling a sigh, he's really gonna have to do this now, isn't he? "be a dear 'n pass the phone to the bartender, will ya?"
it's a miracle you do as told, as intoxicated as you are.
once he hears the shuffling sound of that said bartender picking your phone up to their ear, he asks for the address, and once he gets it, the traffic light turns green and chuuya goes for a quick "u" turnabout, making his way towards the bar, not before asking the person on the other line to watch over you so you won't wander off before he arrives.
you're already slumped on the bar counter with your arms under your head and a finished glass of—clearly—something strong beside you as chuuya comes through the door.
he thinks of if you try to silence your desire to call him every time with alcohol and if it—alcohol—almost always makes it worse. it certainly does, he catches himself thinking.
he thanks the bartender for the address, paying for you and carefully swinging your hand over his shoulder to safely exit the bar and carry you over to his car, listening to your drunken babbling all the way through.
chuuya sighs once he gets you into the passenger seat, and you seem to almost immediately slump into the leather.
so you've had that much.
he can work with that, now that you're already fast asleep as he's back to starting the car.
once him and you in tow are at your doorway, he fishes the keys out of your pocket and lets himself in.
your apartment has remained as he remembers it—there are some minor changes, but the little details are the ones that he notices first and they're still there, even throughout the years.
at least you have some sort of stability in your life.
chuuya ends up shrugging off your outerwear and shoes and bringing you over to your bedroom, contemplating about whether or not you would like to wake up in fresh clothes im the morning, but he realises thay you two aren't that close anymore for him to go through your closet and, moreso, change your clothes. he lets it stay like it is.
before leaving, chuuya makes sure to place a glass of water and a pack of hangover pills on your nightstand.
he leaves using that same spare key you made for him years ago.
his forehead finds the steering wheel as soon as he collapses into the driver's seat.
"we should stop doing this," you tell chuuya quietly during one of the next calls, and chuuya can tell you loathe the words coming out of your mouth.
you're absolutely sober this time.
"we should," he confirms just as quietly, staring up at the ceiling above his bed.
there's silence on both ends for the next five minutes. after that, you wish him good night and end the call.
chuuya doesn't try to bring his phone away from his ear for two more minutes.
tuesdays are always shit.
chuuya does not want to receive any phone calls on a fucking tuesday night while he's buried in paperwork and stupid reports, but he ends up receiving one.
from you.
he nearly snaps his phone in two once he picks it up in his free hand, stopping for a moment as he sees your contact popping up on the screen.
he hesitates for a moment, the hand holding the pen he was previously writing with halting.
chuuya exhales a breath, eyelids closing. he presses "accept".
"what now?" he snaps as soon his phone touches his ear.
a moment before he did so, he could hear you intaking a breath as if you were preparing to speak. as if you were excited to propose something.
you're silent on the other end after that. he can tell you were taken aback, but he was really just too tired to care. maybe.
"...you, me, chateau latour 1977?" your voice is quiet; quieter than it was supposed to be before he snapped, and he can actually feel it, because your voice actually falters in the end, but he can trace the bits of hope remaining in it.
something in chuuya's chest squeezes at that, and then he registers your words.
...oh.
you're inviting him over to drink.
...oh.
chuuya is actually silent as the gears turning before in his head and the flow of his thoughts literally stop—they just stop. there's nothing in his mind except for your voice offering to drink together. he unintentionally drops the pen from his hand.
and then his eyes shift towards the two incomplete stacks of papers on the table in front of him.
you over work? his ex over work? his ex the thought about whom he can't seem to be able to get rid of as much as he wants, over work?
what an easy choice.
unfortunately, today is one of the days when chuuya ends up speaking before he thinks.
"i'm busy," he ends up barking in the end, ending the call barely a second later.
he stares at the now lit screen of his phone, showing the earlier message from you, containing a single photo of the wine bottle you'd offered him just a minute ago.
he stares at it, and stares, and stares some more, before he throws his head back and clenches his eyelids as hard as he can, because his eyes suddenly start watering with tears.
chuuya is an idiot.
"i'm sorry."
chuuya doesn't remember which of you two said this. he hopes it was him.
"i know."
he doesn't remember who replied.
call ended.
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kevindayscrown · 6 months ago
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A great portion of this fandom ignoring or side lining Kevin's abuse will for real be the death of me.
I've always hated the trauma Olympics that this fandom seems to love engaging in, as if there is a reward for "Who Has Had it Worse."
Newsflash: Jean isn't the only one who got abused by Riko. Kevin suffered for a whole ass decade (potentially more) in the hands of the Moriyamas. Might not have been as physical (though the "I will love hurting you like I loved hurting Kevin" line should have proved otherwise to people) as Jean's, but emotional abuse and manipulation are still... you guessed it. Abuse.
The fandom also seems to pay more attention to Riko's abuse of Neil compared to Kevin's. This can, of course, be excused by the fact that Neil is the protagonist and it's his PoV we are reading, but whatever happened to reading comprehension and character analysis? Must we be so blinded by the narration that nothing else matters?
I've talked a lot about Kevin and how his life in the Nest affected him, so I won't go over the same things again, but I SWEAR TO GODS if I see one more person blaming Kevin for leaving the Nest, I'll riot. Yes, leaving Jean behind was an asshole thing to do (though one could argue that perhaps Kevin knew that Jean would refuse to come). But also, Kevin saw the chance to escape the hellhole and took it. Ever since when did this fandom start putting AFTG characters in such high 'moral' pedestals?
Since never is the answer. They only seem to do it with characters they don't bother understanding. Kevin, Aaron etc etc.
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jungwonnz · 1 year ago
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stuck?!
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feat niki x reader ; genre fluff, forced proximity, cute confessions! ; word count ~ 2.3k ; warnings swearing, miscommunications, my bad grammar
after a failed (?) confession to your friend riki, you get stuck in an elevator with him.
note it’s so hard to write comprehensive stories but i hope you guys can see the vision… i love the forced proximity trope sm 🙏 anyways, thank you for reading! 🥰
“oh my god, y/n, are you actually going to confess to him?!” your best friend, haerin, shouted, as you walked through the hallways to your second period class, ignoring the curious looks the other students gave you two. “shhh!!! do you want everyone to know? and yes, i’m serious.” you ended with a small smile on your face, watching your best friend excitedly squeal.
“finally! i’m so tired of watching you guys flirt, it’s so obvious he’s head over heels for you.” haerin concludes. you give her a playful shove as you both settle into your desks.
today was the day you decided to confess to your longtime crush, neighbour, and (other) best friend, nishimura riki. you met in middle school when he moved into the same floor as you. you always had small talk with him, and you can’t deny that you always found him cute.
when high school began, you both started walking to and from school together, talking about the most mundane things and growing close. you and riki were known for causing trouble in class.
your feelings for him grew more and more over the years. you both were in your final year of high school, and you decided it was now or never. plus, you were 99% sure he liked you back; the way he would blush and get so flustered around you made it obvious. or at least, that’s what haerin said.
you went old fashioned and wrote him a letter, mainly because if you did it in person you would likely become a stuttering mess and run away before you could finish. you were brave, just not that brave.
you walk with haerin to riki's locker right before lunch starts, and with a deep breath slid your letter in. haerin clapped and cheered as you pulled her hand and basically ran from the spot.
you and haerin sit outside on the school field, eating your lunches. you expected riki to come find you and talk to you about your letter at lunch, but he's nowhere to be found. haerin tries to reassure you by saying maybe he didn't see it yet.
as you both walk back around the field, you see him. his tall figure is running around the basketball court with his friends. and his bag is with him.
your heart drops. haerin looks at you, confused as to why you look so upset.
"haerin... riki always leaves his bag in his locker after first period and gets it right before break. that means that he got his bag from his locker, right?"
"if he got his bag from his locker, he must've seen your letter..." haerin realised.
and suddenly, your mind is racing with images of him laughing while reading your confession, laughing at you, and you wonder, how could you be so stupid to think he liked you back? haerin quickly put her arm around you and tried to reassure you. "y/n, you have no way to be sure that he read your letter so don't be sad. why don't you go and confront him? maybe this is all just a misunderstanding."
the rational part of you knew that talking to him was the best thing to do, but you were too scared. you used most of your courage to confess to him. you just wanted to go home and lie in your bed, away from everything. you were embarassed.
you felt yourself tearing up as you ran back inside the school, haerin right behind you. what you didn't see was riki looking at you from the basketball court. his friends followed his eyes. "isn't that y/n? why is she running?" jungwon asked. "yeah, it is. she's been ignoring me all day..." riki replied sadly.
you pulled yourself together in the bathroom, not wanting to cause a scene. finally, the end of the day came. riki would usually meet you at your locker to walk home with you, so you ask haerin if she could quickly get your stuff from your locker and bring it to you.
she managed to avoid him and brought your stuff to you quickly. "thank you haerin. i appreciate your help." you say, giving her a quick hug. you tell her that you'll wait in the library for a bit so you don't see riki. haerin is reluctant to leave you alone, but you reassure her that you'll be fine, so she left to catch her bus, waving at you with a sad smile on her face.
as you scroll meaninglessly on your phone, someone taps you on the shoulder. you look up to see sunoo, one of riki's friends. you feel your heart race.
"y/n! what are you doing here? riki's been looking for you since school ended, he's waiting to walk home with you." sunoo says, looking at you with a confused expression.
"ah sunoo, actually, i'm supposed to retake a test after school today. i was just doing some last minute revision! it might take me some time, so can you tell him to go on without me?" you say, forcing a smile.
sunoo agrees, and leaves you alone again. after a while, you leave the library and start walking home on your own, taking a different route.
by the time you finally reach your apartment and get into the elevator, you're just about ready to pass our on your bed. the walk home seemed like hours without riki's funny commentary, or his random stories about his day. you sigh and quickly press your floor number.
right before the elevator door could close, someone sticks their foot through to stop it. the door opens, and you watch as riki walks through the doors. your breath stops, and you suddenly feel as if you're drowning. your ears burn and you look down at the floor.
riki, on the other hand, is ecstatic to see you. "oh my god. y/n, where have you been all day? you never told me about retaking any test. are you avoiding me?" he asks, waving his hands around.
you don't answer him, anger and confusion boiling up inside you. why is he pretending not to know?
"you can't be serious right? i can't believe you." you scoffed. "i knew you were dense, but not this dense, riki."
now it's his turn to be confused. "so you have been ignoring me? what did i do? i've been looking for you basically all day." he said, the emotion in his voice growing.
"that's all you have to say? it's okay, riki. just because you don't feel the same way as me doesn't been you don't have to pretend it didn't happen. you can just tell me." your voice was cold and flat.
"what do you mean 'feel the same', y/n? am i missing something?" riki says softly, trying to calm you down.
"just leave it. i don't want to talk to you." is all you can say to him before your words catch in your throat. and suddenly the elevator feels suffocating and all you can think is “why haven't we got to our floor yet?” and your vision is tearing up and you try to ignore the way riki is looking at you with the most heartbroken eyes because if he really cared about you, then maybe this situation could be different.
without warning, there's a thud. both you and riki jump, startled. you notice that the elevator stopped moving.
no way. you and riki are stuck. you feel like bursting into tears.
a quick "what the fuck?" slips out of riki's mouth, while you curse your own luck. out of all the times this could happen, it had to happen now?
though it's silent as you both assess the situation, it feels deafening at the same time. you can't hide the feeling of panic growing inside you.
"are we really... stuck right now?" riki says, looking at you nervously.
you look at him out of the corner of your eye. "well obviously we are. this day can't get any worse, can it?" you reply with a sigh, covering your eyes with your hands as you sink onto the floor.
you watch as riki also settles down on the floor of the elevator, opposite from you. the management makes an announcement over the speakers, saying that technicians have been called and the elevator will be fixed soon, and that you both just have to wait it out.
you wonder if you should speak up, address the tension between you two. but you're just too scared. you tap on the floor apprehensively, thinking "why isn't he saying anything?"
as you steal a glance at riki, you realize why. his face is pale, his hands trembling, his eyes shut tight. his breaths are long and slow, as you notice sweat forming at his hairline.
and you finally remember that your best friend hates being in tight spaces.
in an instant, you scooch closer to him, unzipping your bag and taking your water bottle out. "what kind of friend am i? how could i forget?" you scold yourself. you hand him the water bottle, and you swore you could feel your heart shatter in your chest when he looked up at you with the most innocent look in his warm brown eyes.
you sit and hold his hands while he drinks, wiping his face and calming him down. no matter what happened between you two, riki would always be your friend before anything.
"thank you, y/n. i'm sorry about... everything that happened. but please, i genuinely don't know what you mean about... your feelings. did something happen?"
you look away from him and sigh, accepting the situation. "riki, i know you don't like me back and it's okay. i was just upset that you were acting as if you didn't read my letter." you look at him. "you know you could've just told me right? it would've hurt less."
a short pause followed your words.
"y/n you... like me?" riki whispers, his expression unreadable. you roll your eyes playfully and say "yes, idiot. that's what all of this was about."
out of nowhere, riki sits up. "y/n, what letter are you talking about?" he asks urgently.
"the letter that i left in your locker? my confession?" you answer, clueless as to why he's asking this way.
in an instant, riki looks away, his head in his hands. and slowly, you watch the smile on his face grow, his laughs slowly becoming louder, as you watch bewildered.
"y/n..." he spoke between giggles. "my lock broke this morning. i couldn't get into it all day. the janitor was supposed to open it after school, but i ended up leaving to look for you. i didn't read your letter..."
your jaw fell as you gasped. and the reality of the situation began to unfold in front of you. shocked, you realised that you had been upset and mean to him for no reason.
and you also realised that you had just confessed to him.
"riki... i'm so sorry. i didn't know..." you said, covering your face.
riki took your hands gently, and smiled at you. you looked at him as he began to speak.
"it's okay y/n. you should've just told me. i don't bite, y'know?" you watch as a blush begins to form on his face, and now you're very aware of how close your faces are, and the fact that niki is holding your hands.
"now that i know... y/n. i like you too. i always have, since the day you showed up at my door in middle school and introduced yourself. you've always been there for me since we started high school, and walking with you is my favourite part of everyday. i'm so happy right now..." he spoke softly, never once breaking eye contact.
"and i really hope that's what your letter was about because if not... this is kind of awkward." he finished, laughing.
you couldn't help yourself from tearing up as you broke out in a smile. covering your face, you smacked him. "i can't believe you're laughing at my pain! and yes, silly. that is what my letter was about."
you move forward to hug him, asking him "is this okay?" when he nods, you wrap your arms around him, smiling into his shoulder while you stroke his hair.
"i promise i'll read your full confession when i get it." he says, holding you tight. and you both settle comfortably in each other's embrace, almost forgetting that you both were stuck.
you were just so happy to be with him again.
and soon enough, the elevator began moving and you both were rescued. as soon as you stepped outside of the elevator, you stretched your arms and legs, looking over at the pretty boy beside you, the smile never once leaving your face.
you and riki walked down the hallway holding hands. stopping at your apartment door, you turn to face him, looking up at him.
the fondness in his eyes is undeniable. "y/n, you're so beautiful. i meant it all the times i said it." you noticed the way his hair fell in his eyes, and how he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.
"can i.. kiss you?" he mumbles.
you nod quickly, closing your eyes. and there, in front of your apartment door, you share a sweet kiss with your longtime crush, neighbour, and (other) best friend, nishimura riki. you both smile into the kiss.
after a few seconds, you pull away, giggling. he pulls you into his arms again, as you allow yourself to drown in the scent of his cologne.
"i can't believe we had to get stuck in an elevator to get to this point." he said, shaking his head. you laugh and pull away, just to give him another kiss. "thank you, riki." you whispered.
he looked at you and nodded, understanding right away. "anything for you, y/n."
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lesbean-sprout · 1 year ago
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Destiny 2 players basic reading comprehension challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)
Fucking hell if I see one more reddit post or youtube thumbnail about "Eris Morn turning into a Hive God???? This is just like the Dark Future lorebook!!!" "Eris is going to betray us it said so in The Dark Future!!!¡"
No you fuckin smoothbrain it's been stated time and time again that the difference between the Dark Future timeline and our timeline is us. We're the variable. We went and destroyed the Black Heart, we went and did all those guardian things, we mastered Stasis without getting tempted by the whispers in the dark. AND WE HELPED ERIS PROCESS HER TRAUMA IN SHADOWKEEP.
She even states it in the new seasonal activity, Elsie is scared that Eris will lose herself just like the other timelines and Eris herself reassures her that this time she is not alone, and that is enough to understand. Eris is gonna come back from this. I swear every time the story pivots to her the community just repeats the same "Eris is going to turn evil" garbage and I will not stand for this slander.
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crybabyddl · 5 months ago
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Check You Out
Modern!Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader
Chapter 1
Warning: swearing, flirtation alcohol, older guy being slightly creepy, eventual smut, strangers to lovers, fake dating, modern setting
Author's Note: God, I need Steve at a despicable, ungodly level that even I can't fully comprehend. It's not healthy. But to cope with that, I'm gonna write this and hope that someone else out there can appreciate and/or relate to being so desperately in love with a fictional character that you can't have. And yes, I looked up an Indiana sales tax calculator in order to write this as realistically as possible.
Extra Author's Note: Hi. It's been ages since I've written anything, let alone a whole first chapter of a fic! I probably won't update often, but who knows? Maybe this will end up being a full-fledged fic! I like the idea of that, but let's see how posting this chapter goes. I hope you like it! <3 Glad to be back! :)
   For the past year, your Friday nights consisted of checking out customers' groceries and helping clueless individuals operate the self-checkout machines. You'd think with a name like 'self-checkout' there'd be no need for assistance, but people are dumb and selective about when to use their reading comprehension skills--if they possessed any in the first place. Working the night shift wasn't ideal, but it was the only time that allowed you to take care of your parents and drive one of their cars while you lived under their roof. Unfortunately, you had to walk to work today because your dad was out of town this week and your mom's car was in the shop.
    "Attention shoppers, the store will be closing in ten minutes. Please make your way to the registers to complete your purchase. Thank you for shopping at Green Leaf Market!" The overly chipper tone of your supervisor, Carol's voice was far less unsettling when it meant that you were almost done with your shift. Now you just had to wait for all the last minute shoppers, lollygaggers, and stragglers to get their shit together and get the heck out.
  "Hey, Y/N, how's it going?"
 Oh brother... you thought. Mitchell was a regular on Fridays, but he was also a bit of a douche. He was in his mid-40s and was seemingly trying to grow a beer gut. It was no surprise that he was buying another 24-pack of Busch Lite. 
    "I'm alright, thanks Mitchell. How are you?" You plastered on the best customer service smile you could muster, taking hold of the reusable shopping bag he always brought with him, regardless of the fact he never needed it.
  "Better now that I've seen you, dollface."
   Dollface? That was a new one, and definitely the worst yet. You tried your best to ignore the embarrassment that caused your face to heat up, but you had a hard time pretending not to be bothered by his comment.
   You moved the fruit-and-vegetable-patterned vessel over to the other side of the register before grabbing the scanning wand and reading the barcode on the hefty cardboard box. He knew the drill, handing you his I.D. for you to scan. The glass bottles clinked as Mitchell lowered the box back into his shopping cart. God, you could go for a beer right about now.
    "That'll be $25.67. Would you like your receipt?"
  "Only if your phone number's on it, honey." Yikes.
    "O-kay, you're all set. Have a great night!"
  "You need a ride home? It's not safe to be walking alone out there this late. Maybe you could keep me company and have a few beers? You seem lonely."
   Nothing Mitchell was saying was particularly wrong, but he certainly wasn't reading the room correctly. He'd also tried this countless times before with no success, so why was he still trying? What were you supposed to say that would make him get the hint?
    "Um-"
  "Hey, uh, Y/N! I just wanted to grab a few beers. You almost ready to get out of here?"
   In that moment, the stranger's interjection was the closest thing you'd heard to a choir of angels.
    "Y-yeah,"
   Mitchell grumbled something under his breath as he snatched up the bag and pushed his cart toward the exit. You felt your shoulders relax as you exhaled a heavier sigh than you expected to be holding in.
    "Oh my God, thank you for saving my ass back there." You lifted the six pack of Blue Moon off the conveyer belt and hovered it over the scanner. 
  "No problem. Sorry if I caught you off guard. I take it he's a regular that thinks he can pull someone half his age?" He takes his wallet out of his back pocket, fishing for his I.D.
    "You nailed it. Mitchell's probably harmless, but I'm not really interested in finding out. And no worries, you're good." You take the driver's license from between the man's fingers, inspecting it quickly.
   Stephen Harrington. Born August 12th. 5'10". Brown hair, brown eyes. You looked up and sure enough, his hair and his eyes--they were pretty--were brown.
  "I don't blame you," Steven put his license back in his wallet before taking out his card. "How much was it?"
    "Oh shoot, I never actually never told you, my bad. It comes out to $11.76," You selected the EFT payment option on your register and waited for Steven to tap his card on the reader. "How did you know my name?"
  "It's on your name tag," He inserted his card in the chip reader. "I'm Steve, by the way." The reader made an unhappy trio of beeping sounds.
    "Nice to meet you, Steve," you smiled. Probably the first genuine one of the night. "You might have to tap it. These machines are a pain in the ass."
  "Tap?" Steve tilted his head in confusion, which you found... cute.
    "Yeah. You just hold your card against the reader and it scans it. I'm not entirely sure how it works, but I think it has to do with the chip or something."
  "I see, I see. Like this?" He holds the card above the number pad, but nothing happens.
    "Almost! You have to hold it over the screen part, like this."
   Without thinking, you grab a hold of Steve's debit card, bringing his arm closer to the screen of the card reader. The machine makes a blip noise and the receipt begins printing in a matter of seconds. It's only after you hand him the receipt that you realize you might've invaded his personal space. Should you apologize? Did he even notice? Why did you choose to work at the supermarket?
    "Thank you, Y/N. I should get going, but uh," Steve pauses, looking unsure. "Are you doing anything right now? Would it be wrong of me to ask you if you wanted to come back to mine and have a couple beers? I'm having a few friends over and you seem pretty chill. Totally okay if not, just figured I'd ask, you know?"
   The cute stranger that saved you from Mitchell was asking you to hang out... maybe he really is an angel.
   This was totally different than having a married man with kids ask you if you wanted to have a couple drinks; this was a guy your age, a hot guy your age. The internal panic of saying the wrong thing subsided thanks to the amount of excitement you felt.
    "I would love that. Let me just get my bag and clock out."
  "Sounds good, I'll go put this in the car and pull up." He gives a smile, which you return along with an unnecessary thumbs up.
    "Okay." You watched as Steve exited the store, six-pack in hand.
    What person in their 20s gives a cute guy a thumbs up? You wanted to smack your palm against your forehead, but refrained. You were an idiot. Speaking of thumbs, you were surely going to stick out like a sore one if Steve's friends were even a fraction as cool--or attractive--as he was. You realized you were getting ahead of yourself as you punched your code into the time clock. You were just going to be hanging out and having drinks with some nice people your age. Nothing more, nothing less. 
   After mentally talking yourself down, you walked through the automatic doors of Green Leaf Market feeling the humid summer air hit your skin in a calm wave. Sure enough, right out front, there was a beige BMW sedan with the passenger window rolled down. Steve aims a finger gun at you and clacks his tongue against his teeth. You see his eyes flit towards the offending right appendage, his cool demeanor faltering for a split second. However, he quickly recovers from whatever shyness he might've felt, leading you to wonder if you'd imagined it as you open the passenger door and join him in the air-conditioned car.
please leave a like, reblog, and/or a comment if you enjoyed!
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CW: OC talk + Rambling / Blood / Gore / Censored Nudity (character sheet) / Mentions of Drugging
(idk why these warnings are so intense, but I swear it's all just silly OC talk T^T)
I’m kinda sorta working on more (comprehensible) TS OC stuff in between studying right now… I wanna hurry and talk about them but without info dumping (if given the opportunity I will without hesitation 😔…) because in terms of the best stories I have conjured up for OCs in general Naudedel and Noble are surprisingly good and I’m very excited to share how deranged they are together…
Right now it’s just about making Naudy readable and working on extra fun stuff… like monsters!
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I’m trying to work out his “monster” form…. The concept is there, but the execution is just not ticking the right boxes for me right now… also, the line art at the end is old and probably will go unused, but thought it was something to add here because like hehe look at my deranged son :)
When it comes to the writing I'm going to split it into two chapters. The first half will be a summary+ of his upbringing, and the second on how he fucked up his arm and why. Just enough info to get a read on what his deal is pretty much. I just need to edit the first chapter and rewrite some parts then it's ready to annoy the world!
I'm trying to think of a good design for his original mother... I'm thinking dark hair and milf (¬‿¬)・゚✧ ... honestly I need to start drawing out the designs for all the other TS OCs I've accumulated over the year (?) here's a fun list-
Hickery (bloodhound OC... dilf oc...I've already been made fun of for his name, but it stuck to me so I'm keeping it!)
Maya (another bloodhound OC)
Cove (Hound's ex-husband)
Cetcher's gf + informant, who still needs a good name...
and that one guy! (doesn't have a name yet... but is important in Hound's part of the story... she bashed some of his guys in the back of head with a hammer... it was a whole thing... Leander got involved... gang war stuff, don't worry about it...)
There are technically more OCs, like that Hightown lady Noble befriended during their first few weeks in town. However, I'm not sure if I'm including her in the final plot meeting. But yeah, anyway I'm rambling so on to Noble news!
For Noble, everything is plotted out in advance surprisingly…character playlist and all... just need to find the words to explain their story other than “parasite with a weird God complex feels guilty” I do have some old memes and art of them though!
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Noble curse stuff...
Childhood cult stuff...
Current reality...
Poor person masquerade dress censored for tumblr...
Noble folks!
I actually wrote out a whole little thing for the black dress in a what-if scenario of...
"Oh! ,,,What if there is a masquerade in Hightown and Noble sneaks in to get some information on a certain individual who might know a thing or two about curses, but turns out the whole event if devious and their all eating babies or some fucked up shit,,,, and what if while sneaking around they see Leander and are like 'what's he doing here?' and they lock eyes but he ignores them as he ducks into a closed off area with some important looking people,,, once he comes out he walks past them and they lock eyes again as he leaves,,, Noble chases after him and once they catch up they get to see his cold and detached side right before he hides them from the other guest,,, after they talk for a bit, or more like Leander talking over them and their worries as he slowly wipes their memories while they protest that it's not fair only to wake up the next day back in their room,,, thankfully their curse is good for more then just silly bouts of insanity so they have a hunch on what happened, everyone around them who knew where they went the night before were obviously worried and the general consensus is that they might have been drugged and should go check in with Kuras just in case (wow this is getting long...) but on their way to the clinic they run into Leander and of course discusses their current problem with him ,,, words are exchanged,,, a kabedon may occur,,, as he whispers in their ear,,, all fun till he erases their memories again, or at least tires before receiving a little gift that makes him look at this whole curse thing from a different angle." DEEP BREATH! ...Anyways... yeah.
But it was taking so long to write out that I ended up losing motivation so yeah... like everything else we will pray the motivation comes back so I can finish that... plus who knows, I might make an x reader version of it if I can. (don't hold your breath... I'm extremely slow)
Anyway, I'm gonna to shut up now because I've yapped enough. I'mma make some hibiscus tea (ironic) and head to bed... Night night, if you made it this far, thank you for listening to my craziness <3
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asagirisfavpen · 6 months ago
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The new chapter was crazy. Like wtf??? Ratstoievski (Fyodor) got the One Order??? And he has Bram's ability??? Does that mean that every time after he gets killed by an ability user he has 2 abilities??? Wasn't there like a rule that u can only have one??
Also, am I the only one that thinks that Fyodor doesn't actually care about Aya like he pretends? I'm pretty sure bro is lying again.
And wtf do u mean Teruko is an actual child??? Like, when I saw the leaks I was pretty sure she gonna be fine cuz she's an adult. Nup. My girl is like 12. She ded. Also, did I read that right or are my reading comprehension skills shit? SHE WAS MONTHS OLD WHEN SHE FOUGHT IN THE WAR??? I swear to all the Gods that could possibly exist that if I see one more person talking shit about her I'm going to jail for torture and murder.
Oh almost forgot to mention that FUKUCHI FUCKING ABSORBED THE LIQUID SHE WAS TRANSFORMED INTO AFTER BEING STABBED
And the fuck u mean Fukuchi is being fully controlled by Fyodor? Bro isn't playing fair! Like, Fyodor is (kinda) immortal, he got the One Order, he got Bram's ability ("echoes" of it, but still) and a motherfucking tripolar singularity that's as strong as a God??? Not fair. Chuuya, Verlaine, move ur asses to that airport now.
And no Ranpo??? Where is my son??? (I'm younger than him) Huh??? Is my baby ok?? Is he hurt? He gotta be alive, right? Fukuzawa, Aya and Teruko survived the thingie-thing so he probably did too. Right???
And how come we didn't get skk or sskk this month?? It's Pride Month. Asagiri is being homophobic. (Jk, I don't ship either) But hey, we finally got some Atsushi. A whole panel!
Also, I will assume that since we didn't get any more Sigma or Fyodor's memories, Sigma will wake up soon. Probably knowing how to defeat Fyodor.
And wdym Fedya just "came up" with the war?? Didn't Fukuchi see it in some vision from Ame no gozen or smth? Did Fyo just walk to him and was like "Uhm so... there will be a war in like 40 years. So we... uhm gotta eliminate the ADA. Oopsies."???
I can't anymore
So long story short, BSD is becoming Naruto (everyone is over powered and gay and idk what's going on)
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nalyra-dreaming · 6 months ago
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Did you see the remark that Lestat did abandon Nicki and that Armand made Lestat look better? I swear the reading comprehension...
"Vile liar!" he said between his teeth. "You are God's fool, that's what you are. You who possessed the dark secret that soared above everything, rendered everything meaningless, and what did you do with it, in those months when you ruled alone from Magnus's tower, but try to live like a good man! A good man!"
He was close enough to kiss me, the blood of his spittle hitting my face.
"Patron of the arts," he sneered. "Giver of gifts to your family, giver of gifts to us!" He stepped back, looking down on me contemptuously.
[...]
"I want the theater," Nicolas said to me. "I want it from you. The deed, the money to reopen it. My assistants here are ready to listen to me."
"You may have it, if you wish," I answered. "It is yours if it will take you and your malice and your fractured reason off my hands."
[...]
"I despise you," he said. "But I am done with you. I have the power from you and I know how to use it, which you do not. I am in a realm at last where I choose to triumph! In darkness, we're equal now. And you will give me the theater, that because you owe it to me, and you are a giver of things, aren't you -- a giver of gold coins to hungry children -- and then I won't ever look upon your light again." TVL
And even after this Lestat goes to find Armand to protect Nicki!
But sure Lestat abandoned Nicki...
... what?
I mean I did not see it, but ... why do people think Armand felt he needed to kidnap Nicki?? Like, why did he keep him alive and not just kill him as a snack if he meant that little?
Yeah, I'm sure this 2k rundown fanfic covered all of the story...
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daenerystargaryen06 · 1 year ago
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Targaryen haters are maddening
Can people stop with labeling the Targaryen's as colonizer's and Nazis? People really do have no reading comprehension whatsoever towards the world of asoiaf, specifically the Targs in general, by mislabeling them and hating on them for supposedly 'colonizing' Westeros. How can they label the Targ's as colonizers, yet ignore the fact that House Stark's ancestors literally did the same exact thing?
Aegon the Conqueror united Westeros with his sister-wives, Visenya and Rhaenys. But when he and his sisters conquered over the Seven Kingdoms and united them together, they did not erase any part of the Seven Kingdoms' ways. They did not force the people of the Seven Kingdoms to follow in their ways, nor did they force the people to abandon the gods they followed for the gods of Valyria, where the Targ's were originally from. They allowed the people to keep their traditions, beliefs, and customs even when united under Aegon's rule. Nor did they force the people into practicing close-related incestuous relations, and they definitely did not force any of the people to replace their banners, items of value, and ways of living for their own.
The Targaryen's are NOT 'Nazis' for utilizing their dragons. Targaryen's did not commit specific acts of genocide against a race, culture, or people such as Nazi's have done. I myself am Jewish. Nowhere in asoiaf, GoT, or HOTD does it show or say that the Targaryen's eradicated or went after a specific race, people, or culture that wasn't theirs. Did they use their dragons in war, and burned people that didn't swear fealty to them? Yes. But they did NOT target those people because of their specific race, nor did they try to eradicate race/cultures just because the Targaryen's were different from them. In asoiaf and GoT, we have one character that actually does the opposite, Dany. Daenerys conforms to other cultures and keeps an open mind about their traditions, ways of living, and conforms to those ways because they are her people. She learns about her peoples livelihoods, what they value, and does not judge other people for those things, nor does she attempt to kill anyone or eradicate their culture or race just because they are different from her and what her House used to do, or believe in. There is also the fact that during their reign, the Targaryen's conformed and kept the religion of the Faith of the Seven, rather than attempting at pushing for their own gods onto others, and eradicating those that had belief said Faith. The Targaryen's do not commit genocide towards a specific race or culture. They are NOT Nazi's in any form of way, just because they have dragons and utilize said dragons. Perhaps people should spend time on studying their history, and what specific terms actually mean, instead of throwing around labels towards fictional characters, who committed around the same acts of violence every other House did in the series (or are we just ignoring the fact that Westeros warred within itself before Aegon united the lands, or the fact that the First Men first came to Westeros' shores, and decided to eradicate the Children of the Forest?)
It is entirely ridiculous to hate on the Targaryen's for conquering Westeros, and labeling them as 'colonizers', compared to the First Men, and ancestors of the Stark's. When they arrived to Westeros- they had chopped down Weirwoods, which were sacred to the gods and Children of the Forest. They warred against the Children, took their lands, and diminished them. Though a pact of peace was created between them, it does not change the fact that the First Men enacted horrible things to the Children of the Forest, and took lands that the Children once inhabited as theirs to chop down the forests and build settlements and roads for their own people, considering they were outsiders to the land.
I also see people calling the Targ's slavers. Slavery was practiced in Old Valyria, by many other Houses that weren't just Targaryen. Essos continued its slavery, but when the Targ's went to Westeros before the Doom, slavery was outlawed and they did not continue its practices. Not to mention, Daenerys, is fighting against slavery. She is attempting to dismantle the practice, and considers everyone as equal, being the first Targaryen to fight against slavery- considering she herself was once a slave. Daenerys is NOT a slaver. She does not want to own others, make them do her bidding, and treat them as lower than her. She herself was once a slave, and does not want to see it continued in others. Daenerys' arc centers around her compassion, empathy, and her drive to end the suffering for those others see as 'lowly' or 'property'. She is the voice speaking for those who have suffered, who gives them strength and courage to not be owned by others. She is the driving force that enables the people to free themselves from the masters.
A comment I saw on Tik Tok inspired this little rant... I just beg for people to gain some reading comprehension every once in a while. For my sanity.
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