#I sure as fuck did not see this character going this way....buuut as usual I love her. Go off Ms. Birchthorn.

[thelindenpapers]

∆ *Slogging through physical therapy*

∆ *Figure I'll try Misfits and Magic from the beginning, see what the fuss is all about*

∆ Ohh yay, with Lou Wilsooon!!! 🥳😃

∆ *As usual, an OC shows up* Carayiinedahtt (Ka-rai-EE-neh-daht) Clover Violet Birchthorn: Brains 20, Flight 12, Grit 10, Brawn 8, Charm 6, Fight 4

∆ Just say "Clover". Or "Violet". It hardly matters.

∆ 16. She/Her/Hers. Chubby, short, brown-skinned, big-eyed, perpetually-frowning, victorian-esque aura'ed, mostly silent little freak

∆ Constantly clutching a gigantic hardcover book to her chest and staring over top of it

∆ Big fluffy black Afro kept neatly back with a strip of pale-green brocade fabric.

Wearing vintage-esque, handmade, pale-green fit&flare dress, her missing biker uncle's beat-up black leather retro motorcycle jacket, black steel toe construction boots, and a big emerald green backpack

∆ This is basically that feral AF kid who walks blindingly fast down the hallways, never talks to anyone, and refuses to use her locker ever -- she just carries everything no matter how fucking heavy wtf

∆ *Best friend/Mom took sick with a type of illness-induced dementia when she was 10, and was put in a home....Uncle is nice enough, but he's in and out of the apartment unpredictably, never know when or if he's gonna be around*

∆ *tended only to interact with elderly people on writing workshop or seamstressing/tailoring forums*

∆ *Forged uncle's signature on wizarding school application*

∆ She came for the books.

She really only cares about books, she gave up on people a loooonnnnggggg time ago ...but boy, if the library here is how she dreams it might be?....SHE WILL NEVER LEAVE

∆ ZERO compunction telling the trio, "Go away, you suck. 😬😐" ....impatient because, ultimately, they're wasting her reading time and precious seconds of her attention span on being mean for no reason. Dolts. If you're going to waste time at least be friendly or interesting or helpful or fun or else what's the damned point?

∆ *intense, rude crow familiar with one wandering eye who side-eyes everyone just as much as she does*

∆ *glad about the sorting*

∆ *Does giggle with child-like delight at the sapient cauldron and is in deeply respectful awe of the nature teacher*

∆ Me: "Huh. Okay. ...Well I guess she'll get along with Jammer the most? He's the most encouraging among them....or maybe she'll see Sam Black as a big sister? ....🤔 At any rate, those two will probably be the ones to pry her out of that welded-closed shell...."

∆ NOPE.

∆ *watch her eyes get even bigger and sparkly whenever Evan talks knowledge/trivia*

∆ *watch her face cycle through indignant anger and sadness at Evan's struggles*

∆ *starts shadowing behind him and glaring at anyone who looks at him sideways, FIERCELY protective*

∆ *finally hugs Evan, clingy -- like a little kid with a trusted parent in uncertain company*

∆ *sees Dream get kinda' jealous*

∆ *Shadows and gets really close to Dream and looks up and points and goes, "🤨That's my big brother. He's really tall...Did you want to be his girlfriend?🤔 He knows a LOT of stuff; and he seems like he's at least TRYING, which most people don't even bother to do...I can give you some space.", just staring unblinking with her big victorian-orphan eyes*

∆ *I choke on my coffee 💀💀💀*

<3 frfrfr

[prrcyjacksons]

Some asks:

Preference for Feyre or Poppy, as the naive but bloodthirsty protagonist who falls in love in their respective first books?

And a slightly more risque one: who, out of your current fav pairings would be mostly likely engage in period sex? 😉

Hiya Gillian!

So first books: book1 Feyre was Boring. Maybe I felt this way because she seemed like Katniss Everdeen 2.0(?) *shrug* ┐(￣ヘ￣)┌. Again, I'm not the right person to talk to about the acotar books. There are still a lot of people out there who hold this book close to their heart. I, on the other hand could barely get through half the first book but it got better towards the end because, honest to god, I thought she'd die a heroic death or something (which,, disappointingly, did not happen). The next 3 books (tho Feyre is one of the main characters), the only reason I got through her pov's was because I was interested in the lives of the side characters.

Now Poppy, her story was quite intriguing from the start. Fiesty, blood-thirsty, granted a little annoying with the 'i have a question' line, but apart from that, I like her. I usually tend to apply the life of a character to myself and see if I resonate with their story and I kinda did with Poppy. And if you scroll through my blog a bit, you'll find that I'm Trash for poppycas🤭

PoppyCas sure have their fair share of fucking but Feyre and Rhys have had more blowjobs than solved problems ┐(´ー｀) Both these females are ride-or-die for their mates and I love that about them buuut if I had to pick one out of the two, I'd go with Poppy:)

Now that second question 👀 gonna put that under the cut so people who don't want to read it can scroll by

Okay so

My current fav pairings would be:

PoppyCas - most likely will (after a lot of persuasion from Casteel on how it could help 'ease her pains') (dude they're gonna be alive for Years. Ofc they do shit like this)

Will x Tessa - tried it once, mutual dislike

Nessian - Yes.

PrinceWitch - Wrath says no.

(these are the only ones I can think off atm. Oh and if you're reading this, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) K baiiii.)

[b-yeonder]

Hey are the requests open? If so, can you do a a-z nsfw for Lucifer? If they're not open then please ignore this. Anyways, I love your writing and I'm looking forward to more 😊😊😊

I’ve never done one of these before so I hope it’s okay. Also I struggle to take anything seriously so of course there’s gonna be some dumb shit in here. Anyway, hope you enjoy and thank you so much! 

Warnings: NSFW, mentions of murder

NSFW A-Z: LUCIFER

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Lucifer can be rough - he's known to be a sadist after all but that doesn't mean he doesn't know how to look after you once he's had his way. Softens his voice, asks if you're okay, if there's anything you need. Will clean you up and praise you for how well you did. If it's him needing the aftercare, he's very quiet, playing over what just happened. Appreciates a drink and gentle caresses to bring him back down to earth

B = Body Part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I think that Lucifer has quite a lot of insecurities - being told you're perfect all the time can make you dwell more on your flaws (or what you deem to be flaws.) But one thing he does like is his eyes. He knows he can make you lose yourself in his eyes with a single look. One look from across the room and he can have you begging for him within moments.On you he loves your hands. He doesn't let many people get close, let alone touch him, but your hands can ease his pains and make him feel loved. Massages, caresses, the way you hold his head against your chest at night, or the way you grip his cock so eagerly once he's riled you up. Also ties into a little somethin' I'll mention below in the D section eh ehhhh. (Oh and your mouth is a close second. (And not just because you called him baby boy once and had him malfunctioning for a whole hour.))

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Lucifer doesn't like the thought of cleaning up, so prefers to cum inside you - it's his main way of showing that you're his. But accidents happen and there have been times he's slipped out at the last minute and coated the skin of your stomach/back and for a moment he found himself admiring it - like a new way of marking you as his. Oh he also likes painting your tongue with his cum too because watching you swallow it makes his pride bl o s s o m.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Dirty to him anyway - he actually likes submitting to you. (Once you two are quite established.) Shock horror! But you're the only one he trusts to completely let loose with, and sometimes when you have this much pressure on you it's nice to let someone else take control. BE HONOURED. OH and the hand thing. He will fucking worship your digits. Kiss 'em, suck 'em, nuzzle 'em. OOF. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He's been around for a long time, so it goes without saying he's had plenty of experience. He's well versed in the basics and is quick to pick up on every little thing you like to use against you (in the best way possible).

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Likes being able to see your face, to watch every little sound escape your lips, every little sign of pleasure. Feeds off of it. But is not averse to shoving you face first into the mattress and fucking you senseless until you can barely utter a word. So y'know depends on his mood really. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Serious. But dumb shit can happen during sex and even the Mighty First is not immune to this. Will laugh stuff off and get things quickly back on track by muttering naughty things in that delicious voice of his. If you insist on being jokey he'll insist on making it so you can't do anything but moan ;)

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He's a busy guy, but he makes sure to always be groomed. This does mean that things get on top of him and well...don't blame the overworked tired bean if he gets a little unruly down there sometimes, okay?

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

He's almost always quietly praising/encouraging you - in between the teasing of course. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He's a stressed mess, he needs to release his frustrations somehow. Does it less so since you came along, and honestly didn't masturbate too often before, but when he does it's a scene. He takes his time, making sure to work up to a glorious finish so that he can truly relax afterwards.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Probably has a Sir or Daddy kink. Kinda likes choking you as well. One time your hand slipped from his chest to his throat without you thinking and that's when he realised he kinda likes being choked too oii oiiii.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

His freakin' giant glorious bed because he's old and has back pain. Also bending you over his desk after rather troublesome days works too.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

You teasing him throughout the day. "MC you're eating that corn too sexually I'm going to have to teach you a lesson later." "Did you just call me mum? I don't care if it's an accident, I'm going to have to punish you later." "Did you just breathe? That's it, you asked for it." In all seriousness he rarely shows his want for you on the outside, but inside he'll be raring to ravage you. Depends on the day - one day you could have him popping a boner simply by rubbing your foot against his calf. The next, stripping naked and grinding on his face might not even make him blink. 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

"Roleplay as Satan for me, Lucifer." You're probably dead before you even finish speaking those words, sorry I don't make the rules. (Oh wait I kinda do right now oops.)

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Prefers to give as he likes having the power over you to make you come completely undone. Can feel a little vulnerable receiving - maybe he got bitten by a devious ex lover, who knows, but once you get going and his confidence with you grows he likes nothing more than grabbing the back of your head and urging you to take more of him.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He can be both. Fast and rough are his go-to, and when he does go slow, his thrusts are still usually on the harder side.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He loves taking his time with you, as he likes driving you crazy for him but if the mood calls for it he has no issues with bending you over his desk and taking you right then and there. Will probably take extra care of you next time.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Damn straight he's down to experiment. Is curious to see how far both of you can go and what you're willing to do. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Only one round, his back hurts too much. I'm kidding, he can go a few rounds, and can last a long time. There have been a couple occasions he's cum rather fast - either when drunk, or it's been a while since the last time. Gets very embarrassed over it but knows it's natural and happens sometimes. (That’s not the norm though, he promises.)

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He got a bit crazy when you came along. Anything you like the sound of, he has. Already had blindfolds and things to bind you with - rope, ribbons, string cheese, you name it. But now you're here he has a whole collection of toys to tease you with. Even has a favourite vibrator he loves to leave strapped to your thigh so you can't get away from it. Ah, good times.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Biiitch. BIiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch. This monster is the biggest tease. "Hm...I'm not sure you deserve my cock today, MC. Now now, begging will get you nowhere." (It probably will eventually, just saying. ...Maybe.) He'll leave you on read for days but magically turn up just as you're about to pleasure yourself like "nuhuh bitch, not today."

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Fairly quiet - any sounds he does make are low in his throat, deep. Loses control closer to reaching his climax - gets breathier, speaks a little louder and noises are more frequent. Buuut once he did manage to wake up everyone in the house but that was because you'd been teasing him all day, you hadn’t slept together in like a week, and he'd been drinking and-- the list of excuses go on.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Was once convinced to try out women's underwear once after a conversation with Asmo and was pleasantly surprised by how nice his ass looked. Will never EVER tell anyone this though, not even you and shit I shouldn't even be writing this he's probably gonna-- Oh heyyy Lucifer, nothing to see here I was jus--*gurrKH*

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Decent length, decent thickness. Just enough to take a bit of work to fit in but not too much that it's uncomfortable, y'know?

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Not very high, definitely not above average. Can definitely go without, but his mind might wander.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depends how tired he is, and how much is on his mind. You'll probably be the one to fall asleep first most of the time, which is great because he's good at giving after-sex cuddles. Plus your steady breathing makes it easier for him to sleep as well so...win win?

[brightblueinky]

Pardon me for the intrusion, but you're the only person I found who's still into CC and I have to ask: does the romantic aspect of Chrono's and Rosette's relationship seem lacking to you? Like I can see when Rosette starts to view him as a love interest (chapter 28), but I can't see when Chrono starts to view her as one. To me it feels like he only had an interested in Mary, and Rosette is just his very beloved friend; the kiss felt too sudden. I'm sorry, I just need a second opinion on this.

Okay I am so sorry I didn’t respond to this until now, I’ve mostly been using tumblr on my phone and using it to check a few blogs and occasionally the CC tag, and apparently tumblr doesn’t notify for asks on the mobile app? Or I’m not seeing it? Something. I have no idea how long you’ve been waiting for a response on this, so I’m really sorry! I hope you find this!

I think I need a reread of the manga at this point--a lot of the stuff I’m writing these days is going off of head canon which might not be 100% accurate anymore. So I’m just going to write this off the cuff. Gonna be a bit stream of consciousness! So this is definitely not a definitive opinion or even one I’ll always stand by, just how I personally feel in this particular moment.

So off the top of my head...

I think we see less things from Chrono’s point of view than from Rosette’s, which is part of what makes this tricky. This isn’t ALWAYS the case obviously (we see his sort of...PTSD dream flashback after Rizelle’s death, the flashback in volume 6 is basically from Chrono’s viewpoint since it’s mostly his memories, etc), but since one of the way the plot moves forward is the mystery of what happened in Chrono’s past usually the viewpoint is more centered around Rosette. I actually always assumed that Rosette was the only character that Moriyama would consider the protagonist until I saw that on a dust jacket for one of the books he said that BOTH Chrono and Rosette are (can’t remember which book, sorry! it was a fan translation).

Thinking about it, I think we see Chrono start to realize he has romantic feelings at the end of volume 6. I think that’s the first time he really, truly comes to accept his contract with Rosette as a good thing instead of just...the lesser of two evils, I guess? It’s when he goes “oh, yeah, I made the contract because otherwise she would’ve run off to solve the problem on her own, and I didn’t want to leave her alone.” I think that’s when he starts to really see Rosette as someone that’s on the same level of emotional maturity as him, too--earlier he occasionally teases her for being immature, but I think when Rosette tells him that she wants to share his pain, and Mary’s, that he sees how emotionally strong she is as a person and really respects that. Not that he didn’t see her as strong BEFORE, buuut like...he’d been so hesitant to share his past with Rosette until right then, and her response, I think, makes him realize how helpful having her support really is to him.

This isn’t really the same situation and is definitely my own personal reaction, but as I write this it makes me think of when I was dating my husband. I was initially terrified he was going to break up with me because I was bisexual--we both came from conservative Christian backgrounds and were homeschooled, and in the past he expressed homophobic sentiments--but I felt like I HAD to tell him because I couldn’t see myself in a long term relationship with someone I couldn’t be 100% honest with. His reaction when I told him was to immediately tell me he trusted me and cared about me, start to reconsider what he’d been raised to feel immediately, and he’s become one of my biggest advocates as I’ve come out to friends and family. Coming out to him was one of the best things I’ve ever done, but it was terrifying until I did. I can see Chrono having similar fears talking about his past with Rosette, and having a similar sense of relief and healing as soon as he realized how much Rosette is in his corner and how helpful having someone he can be open with actually is.

In the next chapter, Rosette holds Chrono’s hands to comfort him while they briefly talk about their current situation (Chrono being held in, uh, demon jail? and Rosette being taken off of her mission to find Joshua), then they both blush and get flustered when they realize what they’re doing. They babble small talk afterward while inner dialogue repeats Rosette’s promise to share Chrono’s pain, and Mary’s too. And then RIGHT AFTER is when Remington walks in and takes them to Aion’s old house on the beach so...that’s about it.

So I think the manga does show that, either right after he’s pulled out of his coma by Rosette or sometime in the aftermath, Chrono is starting to acknowledge that his feelings for Rosette might be more romantic. But it is VERY brief, because literally everything after that is two volumes of the big finale, taking place entirely over no more than 24 hours. Everything after that is rushing to tie up as many loose ends as possible--Fiore being Satella’s sister, saving Joshua, Joshua beginning to grapple with the gravity of what he’s done and been a part of and what’s been done to him, Aion and Chrono’s confrontation, the Order and the Sinner’s confrontation, Rosette’s near death experience, Aion’s motivations revealed, Chrono and Aion’s true relationship revealed, Azmaria finally coming into her own in terms of taking ownership of her powers, the culmination of Aion’s plans (and near-Apocalypse caused by it), the true nature of demons, the deaths of most of the Sinners, Shader’s defection, Joshua and Fiore’s relationship being somewhat resolved, Rosette and Chrono’s relationship being somewhat resolved...like holy shit there is SO. MUCH. THERE.

On top of that, I’ve got the Japanese reprints and while I can read basically no Japanese (HUGE GRAIN OF SALT INCOMING), I’ve pointed Google Translate at some of the omakes and from what I can tell, Moriyama talks in the omake in...volume 6, I think, that he basically had a whole other volume’s worth of story for the flashback that had to be cut! If I’m understanding it right, it’s like...from Remington’s perspective, and involves some Native American tribe or reservation that had connections to the Sinners, and the woman in charge of the orphanage Joshua and Rosette grew up in was a child living in a town nearby....

Basically, from what I can tell? Moriyama had a LOOOOOOOOT of background stuff he wanted to go into in the back half of Chrono Crusade that he wasn’t able to do for time reasons. I’m not sure if his editor gave him a deadline, or he realized it would be too meandering, or what exactly happened, but...have you ever heard the “iceberg” theory of writing? Basically, flesh out as much of the backstory as you can--know everything about the town your story is set in, the family of your protag and their relationships with them, what they eat for breakfast, just...every little minutia you can possibly think of, but most of that won’t get into your story. The audience will only see the tip of the iceberg, but knowing so much background about your setting and characters will help it feel more alive and inform your decisions as you write.

I think Moriyama had a fucking huge iceberg, basically, and I think he actually wanted to show more of that, but...couldn’t. So we get little pieces of art that reference this entire backstory for Satella we never see, and Aion, etc....that gets small nods but doesn’t make it into the manga.

And I think there’s a lot of things Moriyama wanted to give time to breathe in the manga but due to space limitations, couldn’t. So that’s why the second half of the manga literally takes place from Thanksgiving to sunrise on Christmas Day and is...the entire second half of the manga. He’s rushing to get in as much as possible while still letting the story flow as a story and sometimes...it’s not perfect.

So....I think unfortunately, yeah, one of the casualties of that is that we don’t get a huuuuuge amount of Chrono’s side of the relationship, because most of the moments that really shows that they’re heading in that direction is from Rosette’s POV. Other than the scene I already mentioned, I think you could argue that Chrono’s reaction to “the place that Chrono can go back to was decided 4 years ago!” might also be the first moment he starts to consider how important Rosette is to him, but that doesn’t HAVE to be romantic...Chrono’s reaction to her death (and then realizing there’s a chance to revive her) again emphasizes how important she is to him, but it doesn’t HAVE to be romantic...the kiss at the end is the only thing that really 100% says “Yes, this is romantic and not platonic” on his part. And...yeah. It feels a bit sudden. There’s some underlying hints before that but...I mean, I know about them because I’m obsessive about character growth and narrowed in on it in subsequent rereads, I’m not sure if it came through right away on my first read of the manga, and I even knew going into it that they were at least meant to be teased as a ship, so, yeah.

Also I briefly want to admit that as I’ve gotten older, the age gap bothers me a little more. Not enough for me to abandon the ship, just, you know, it’s something I acknowledge will turn some people off. I think Chrono, maturity-wise, is meant to be seen as...about 20. I think Moriyama mentions in one of the early omakes that that’s what he looks like in his unsealed form, we know that when he leaves Pandaemonium it’s right after his coming of age ceremony so he’s about what a demon would consider to be 18 in terms of emotional (and physical?) maturity, and especially since he’s been sleeping for 50 years since that period of his life he doesn’t have the experience that his age really indicates (which Aion blantantly points out near the end). So I’m not THAT bothered by it because I don’t think that Rosette and Chrono are actually that inequal in terms of emotional maturity but it’s still...there, and...I mean he met her when she was 12...so...yeah that’s a bit weird!! 

I’ve just gotten to where I shrug my shoulders and go “look, every ship in Chrono Crusade has something problematic about it, if you’re going to be a fan of Chrono Crusade you’re probably going to have to grapple with the fact that it’s messy and human and nobody is 100% good or bad in the manga, and that’s part of what I like about it, so, that’s cool, but it’s probably not for everyone.” It’s actually one reason why I’m kinda OK with CC not being as popular as some of its contemporaries because...some of the anti-shipper stuff I’ve seen online...oh boy.

So...I guess in conclusion, I think there’s stuff there in the manga to build up the relationship a little bit, but a lot of it is from Rosette’s POV and most of it is kind of subtle. I wouldn’t be surprised if Moriyama had wanted to flesh it out more obviously in the manga but the second half is stuffed full of wrapping up character arcs and questions and loose ends so it just didn’t really have the time to get as much focus. I really like the ship a lot, but a lot of it comes from analysis of the characters and how they relate to each other rather than it just being...canon. I’m okay with that, I’m the sort of person that will ship characters that never even meet just because I think the dynamic might be cool, but...I’m not surprised that not everyone would be into it, either.

And now I kinda want to make...a series of posts analyising the different relationships that are...either canon or teased in canon, see how much they’re built up, etc. Because this post makes me think a lot about Joshua/Azmaria and how confused I was by them apparently being married in the epilogue on my first read, and only seeing the hints Moriyama hinted about them possibly being a couple in the manga on subsequent rereads (and even then HO BOY it’s so subtle it makes Chrono and Rosette look really in your face aaaaaa). BUT I HAVE RAMBLED ENOUGH FOR THIS POST and, again, I need a reread. Maybe soon....!!!!

[angelhummel]

Summing up my thoughts on the episodes I’ve watched in the last few days, for my own benefit and no one else’s

Preggers - Still an iconic episode. Really feel like this one helped get the show off the ground and really kick off the season, both with the pregnancy and relationship drama, and the iconic moment of Kurt coming out to his dad

Vitamin D - Thought it was kind of boring before, but enjoyed it a lot more this last watch. It’s tons of fun, the songs are great, Rachel even has lots of great character moments, and that’s the best performance the boys would ever give on the show until No Scrubs lmao

Wheels - This episode pisses me off beyond belief solely bc of Mr. Schuester. But the rest is wonderful. I like Artie’s song, Artie and Tina, the diva off, the cute Quick scene, the Becky and Brittany moment, and the scene with Sue and Jean always makes me cry

Mattress - Still hilarious, idk what else to say. Their bad acting in the commercial has lived rent free in my brain for over ten years now. Quinn has one of her best moments of the show. Also the dramatic as fuck mood whiplash scene when Will finds out about Terri’s fake pregnancy. Yes it’s insane but they really sold it

The Power Of Madonna - Their first tribute episode and they knocked it out of the park. Went in thinking it was a touch overrated but nope, it’s as good as everyone thinks it is. I mean obviously I don’t like some of the plot specifics (mainly the men) buuut it’s a fun time over all. And the songs are all top tier

Home - Didn’t really like it the last time I watched it, but it was better this time around. Pretty sure every song made me cry. I love April, I love the Quinncedes scene, I love Cheerio Kurt and Mercedes. Just a good solid ep

Laryngitis - Definitely a top 5, maybe top 3 of the season. Has the best music of any other s1 episode in my opinion. I dunno, I just really like this ep. All the plotlines are solid. It’s a bit of fun, a bit of silly, a bit of sad. Don’t like Finn being a dick to Rachel about Jesse but what else is new

Theatricality - Still one of my favorites. For Tina, for Kurt, for Gaga if nothing else. Hate Finn, hate Shelby, and Will is weird this episode. More than usual. But it’s still my favorite of s1 and probably a top 5 over all

Duets - Thought this was one of my favorites but this last rewatched pissed me off more than ever. Finn is just stupid and awful and Rachel is right there with him this time. The only saving grace is the music bc every song is great. Although I did skip the first Finchel duet so oops

Rocky Horror Glee Show - This episode is a hot damn mess but damn if I don’t like it. I just like Rocky Horror. And seeing everyone in costume. The last time I watched it I was just grinning and having fun. Didn’t have as much fun this time. Too focused on making clown memes of Mr. Schuester

The Sue Sylvester Shuffle - This one also pisses me off but I like it a lot better than some. I just think it’s a fun episode and has some great songs. Thriller/Heads Will Roll is one of the best numbers they ever did. Would’ve been better if they kept the cut Klaine scene but ain’t that always the way

Jeez I watched more than I thought I did. Obviously I’m very big into s1-2 right now, but those are usually my go to episodes. Idk which ones I’ll watch next but get ready for lots more angry rants and bad memes

[popculturebuffet]

Loud House Reviews: The Loudest Thanksgiving

It’s almost Thanksgiving! And a vastly diffrent one than in recent memory: Most of us are slimming down family gatherings to just whose in our house, you know because theirs a pandemic going on and it’s not worth risking your life for it. To those either guilting their families into it or doing so because MAGa or some such I only have this to say. 

Speaking of Black Friday i’ts spread over a week and it’s cyber deals mean I got a ton of graphic novels for a dollar a piece and my christmas shopping almost done. So in other words, boo Maga, yay safe and responsible captalisim.  But while the holiday may be diffrent, as well as the pseudo holiday attached that spawned a wonderful musical and many many injuries, one thing stays the same; Holiday Episodes. And despite being the less popular of the three holidays, Thanksgiving still produced tons of great holiday episodes and specials. And with everything being so busy I simply didn’t put too much thought into what to do for Turkey Day.. well okay the day proper i’m going to eat, spend time with family and watch a bunch of mystery science theater 3000, stay the course even in these troubling times, just with only the 4 other people who live in my house. But in terms of episodes I thought i had nothing.. then I started actually thinking on it and what do you know I have three things I want to do for the holiday, though one might wait till next year, and possibly a fourth. But given my workload currently, i’m not one to back away from a challenge, so welcome to a three or four course meal of reviews. First course: The Loud House thanksgiving special, the loudest thanksgiving.  I originally wasn’t going to do this one, mostly because due to my large workload and constant battle with procastination, I keep having to push back the latest episode review, and I have to do that one soon, as there’s a new episode in december and a christmas episode i’ve put off watching for far too long , as I INTENDED to watch eleven louds a leapin for every chirstmas up till now and never got to it before the season was over.  But just like elven louds.. Nick forced my hand.. and by that I mean the SPINOFF got a thanksgiving episode that’s also a sequel in some fashion to this episode. If I wanted to cover that episode this thanksgiving or the next I had to at least watch the original. And frankly, this close to the holiday there was no reason not to review it. So with that out of the way. 

Let’s Get At Er. This is The Loudest Thanksgiving... after the break

The Loudest Thanksgiving takes place during season 3, and still pre-casagrandes spinoff launch despite the christmas special taking place earlier. This is actually easy to explain: The Loud House runs on Comic Strip time... i.e. the characters don’t age unless the writers decide they do. But while the spinoff was in motion at this point, it was still a season off airing wise, and ill advised raitings stunt mini series wise, so in order to keep the Casagrandes fresh in people’s minds presumably, they did a crossover that at this point wasn’t a crossover but now technically is because the show exists but this existed before the show. 

It’s just a show, and I should really just relax. Point is this is a pre-crossover crossover, the two families meet for the first time, the man already said pitter patter, let’s get back at er.  So we open with Flip serving as our magical snowman narrator and regaling us with the tale of steven. Every compastionate can you imagine it... and i’m fucking with you, it’s of course abotu that time the louds and the casagrandes tried having thanksgiving together. 

We then cut to Lori and Bobby being all cute, as usual, and both talking over the phone as each show off their thanksgivings to each other and the enusing family shenanigans. On Lori’s side Lynn is wearing baggy pants so she dosen’t miss the game or the meal by going to the bathroom.. because that’s how pissing yourself works. Look if your going to do something that gross, stupid and broish just woman up and wear an adult diaper. The twins are guarding Lynn sr and the food, poorly, and Lisa has invented a Gravy Squriting robot. I can only see this ending one way. 

Yeah those single function robots really get useless once the exestnetial crisis kicks in. 

On the casagrandes side, Rosa is likewise guarding her kitchen, Frida is painting and Hector plans to sernade eveyrone because Hector is the best and you all should know that. Even with the recent Bobby Abuse he’s still awesome. As for the Mercado, CJ and Ronnie Anne are running the annual canned food drive because CJ is better than the best and should really be used more often.  Both wish they could be there.. and both honestly talk about possibly spending thanksgiving with each other and just one of their family. It’s not a wild proposition: Both are going to college soon, both are in a longterm relationship.. they plan to get married down the line for now. If things hold they will eventually have to figure this out. Of course rather than fate let them figure this out themselves, Hector overhears on Bobby’s end and Lincoln, whose busy A Clock Work Oranging himself so he can stay awake during dinner, overhears on Loris, leading to an emergency family meeting for both sides.  Both families are worried their prospective teenager going to another house of their longterm significant other for one year will mean they get all the holidays. Having never had a relationship last long enough to worry about this, I don’t quite get it as in my experince watching couples juggle this.. they usually just alternate years, spoilers the solution the episode goes with, or trade off christmas and thanksgiving, both fair solutions. Buuut as much as this bothered me at first the more I thought about it the more it actually made sense: People.. aren’t always rational and won’t always do the smart or correct thing, especially when it comes to their children. And with Lori leaving college and the casagrandes being togehter for thanksgiving for the first time in about 5 years, with both ronnie anne and her mom not having had a proper one in some time due to her mom needing to work thanksgiving, presumibly because of the eternal curse of gravy chugging contests, they have valid emotional reasons to go a bit nuts and do some irrational and assholish things. They just don’t want to loose their big sister and big brother, and that’s fair. It may not be at all accurate but it’s fair. 

So thus began the great Guilt Off of 2018. ON the Loud side they START with a fairly soft pitch, the twins simply offer her food early, and she takes it because honestly I would too. Then again, i’d also take free food in just about any situation, so i’m not really a good gage for this. As long as it’s not poision i’ll probably eat it if it’s free. The next two are a little.. less subtle, with the kids talking about Lori’s roll in the annual thanksgiving skit.. which I’m assuming is soley for Lynn Sr. as no one else seems to be going to their thanksgiving. Which granted theirs valid explinations for why their neighbors didn’t go, the mcbrides and mr grouse have their own families and while Mr Grouse rarely gets to see his, he now has neighborly friends after the last holiday special happy to help. But Pop Pop.. makes no sense as his girlfriend, the only plausable reason he wouldn’t be there, was said to not have much family in her debut. So he’s just.. absent from thanksgiving for no reason. Thena gain we later find out this play is movie length, so maybe he was just trying to escape that which in that case, who can blame him. Rita almost reigns things back in with the mother’s trump card: parental guilt. Almost. She then almost crushes lori’s hand but it’s funny enough.  At the Casagrandes, their opening move is largely the same only Rosa wins in terms of execution, cooking up some of bobby’s faviorites to specificially target him. Frida paints him into a painting, again the Casagrandes win his one in terms of effort. They do tie in the last bit, as Maria and Ronnie Anne try the same sort of guilt slining with the same bone crushing.  Eventually both teens get fed up with the next bit; For Lori, Lucy gives her a long overdramatic poem about an empty chair which is easily tied with one bit later for best bit of hte episode.. which granted when I can only think of two or three gags that really made me laugh...

Bobby likewise gets Hector telling the story about a realitvie not going to thanksgiving. Both get angry.. which for Lori, isn’t all that suprising, if entirely warranted. For Bobby though? It’s like pissing off a dolphin. IT’s hard to do and very much not something you want to actually pull of. Both families are forced to admit they eavesdropped, and are incredibly worried about this whole situation, with Lynn Sr selling lincoln up the river for telling them... this man’s capacity for selling out his children is as awe insprising as it is truly pathetic. 

So the two teens go back to their rooms to figure something out and come upon a reasonable solution: just have one of the families host and both come to it. That’s more than fair. But given we still have a full special to pad out, both families are still treating this like a competion: while the louds win the coin toss, both sides are determined to win thanksgiving. IT’s far from the most insane contest i’ve seen this month, x of swords was happening and i’ve seen a russian yank a goblin out of the demonic alligator skin he was using as a puppet. And we don’t know for sure Arrakoa and Krakoa didn’t have a trial over a baby turkey being adorable as one of the challenges. Other challenges included getting drunk, an eating contest, telling someone to murder a kitten and a wedding, all of this is actual stuff that happened in this recent crossover, I have made up nothing. 

So after the break and Flip realizing oh shit the audience is back, the war begins. The Louds are preparing for war, with Lola putting out a picture of herself instead of bobby and laurie because of course.. still not a half bad gag. The Casagrandes arrive and in in a passive agressive move that was already done a year before this special by Brooklyn Nine Nine and better, brought their own food.. though the roast pig is a nice and unique touch. Points for that.  And this.. is where the special gets tedious. Yeah while the IDEA of this episode was really good and I was excited to cover it in practice it’s just similar gags on both sides done for both halves: The first being “let’s guilt them into staying” and the second being “Let’s one up each other” with only two bits really working: Frieda having a painting and the louds annual skit.  And the skit is because it raises a LOT of questions: Why is it 90 minutes, who played the adorable turkey in the years between babies? Was it just whoever was youngest? Who wrote this? Who is this for besides Lynn Sr and Pop Pop? Who all has sat through this thing at some point? Is that why the mcbrides don’t come over for thanksgiving? It’s just.. fantastic is what i’m saying.  

But otherwise this part is just the family trying to one up each other with food, or toasts, or song, before devolving into a big fight. What makes it not work is.. there isn’t a lot of personality there. You have these two big, plentiful, intresting casts, even at this stage with the Casagrandes far less established and fleshed out. And instead of finding interesting ways for them to play off one another meeting for the first time, and to use that to also flesh the characters out more for the inevitable spinoff, it’s just 

For most of the second half. Thankfully it DOES manage to bring things around as after things degenerate into a food fight, the families decide to just ASK the two of them where they want to go.. and find them entirely missing.  It then turns out, in a nice twist, this is where Flip came in. Since his place is the only place open 24/7 and 365, barring fishing season, Bobby and Lori fled here to flee their insane families.. who then follow them there because Carlos and Lisa have them chipped. I was suprised at first Carlos had a tracker on bobby but honestly, i’ts just common sense. The man is like a golden retriver in a man’s body. Here’s an artists interpretation

Both families breifly bicker before Lori and Bobby announce their starting their own family thankgiving with blackjack, and hookers. They really shouldn’t of let Flip in on the brainstorming session. Both families don’t want that, and apologize, admitting they just didn’t want to loose them and both genuinely offering to let the other have them next year. Flip, who despite having a “pay for my colonoscopy jar” with a picture of his ass on it, is somehow the voice of reason and just suggests trading thanksgivings every year, everyone accepts, and we do get a genuinely heartwarming ending of both sides gathering everything for a gas station thanksgiving. Honestly reminds me of king of the hill’s airport episode, but in a very good way and still unique enough circumstances to work.Also Flip, of all people, donates the cans needed to finish the can drive.. granted i’m not sure if they WANT any of that meat, but hey, he meant well and it made me really like the character.  We get a heartwearming duet between hector and luna and sono the whole family and we’re out. 

Final Thoughts: This was disapointing. I’ve listed most of my complaints already, but overall it wasted a good premise of two families coming together, and even the feud parts could’ve been funnier. As it is it’s just.. ehhhhhhhhhh. It has some good parts, and bobby is an angel here on earth as always. But the whole just feels padded. Like this was SUPPOSED to just be 11 minutes, got bumped up, and thus here we are. It’s not the worst Loud House has done, i’ve seen and heard of muccch worse, but for a holiday special it just feels stale and i’ve seen way better thanksgiving specials. And i’ll be getting to that.  If there’s an episode of a cartoon you’d like me to cover, just pop in my ask box or dms and you can comission a review for 5 bucks a piece. Discounts on bulk, 15 for movies. Until then , happy thanksgiving.

[tanoraqui]

please write more for that au its SO CRAZY GOOD i need more... youre such a brilliant write

no knowing what this was about. Please enjoy character sketches of six generations of Watsons + a couple Holmeses, courtesy of this bit of technically-original-fic-because-of-public-domain. Still not sure what I’m going to do with all these people!! 

Mycroft Holmes, 1830 - 1901

Original incarnator and namer of Sherlock Holmes

Basically to see if he could. Incarnator and academic studier of spirits. Spark, and good at it.

(Death spirits aren’t very stable bc they tend to. Um. Kill the host. Only so much you can do to restrain the nature.

Mycroft concluded that that’s bc it’s always polluted by the fear of death - pure death would be more directable

He was right? Also, I guess mildly suicidal? And did a lot of trial and error in brief experiments in hospices, even a war zone or two, over a decade or so. Personality developed based on Mycroft’s, ofc, cool-emotioned but ever-curious, and an ego the size of imperial India

So Holmes was substantial enough to manifest more or less as we know him when Watson had a panicked moment on that battlefield

John Watson, 1867 - 1891

Bearer of Sherlock Holmes, 1886 - 1891

Dutiful, mom friend, selfless, kinda all or nothing, quick decisions - good in medical emergency, sometimes impulsive/reckless, mediocre shot except at snooker, reads for fun - especially once he picks up a bookwormy demon

Trained incarnator-physician

Summoned him in a terrible moment in the war in Afghanistan(?) in 1886

The field hospital was under attack, evacuation having been interrupted by unexpected enemy maneuvers, and Dr. Watson was torn between shooting on the enemy and trying desperately to tend to patients, but there was no way out and nothing but death all around. Nothing at hand but death.

So he figured “what the hell” and summoned a spirit out of that, bound to his own body ofc, and had him kill all the enemy. Holmes offered to take some of the death out of the British wounded as he did. A friendship began.

“Listen here, Watson - war is no place for pure death!” -some discomfitted superior officer, dismissing him from the service

John didn’t fully disagree, the easiness felt wrong - but it all felt wrong. And the medical applications…

But no hospital would hire him, with a death demon and the way he flinched at sudden noises still, hands that still shook 

Holmes scented a recent death, they interrupted a police investigation, impressed them with medical knowhow + death sense (passed off as medical knowhow for the moment?)

And That’s How We Ended Up A Consulting Detective 

Died in 1891 in the course of dispelling Moriarty, a life demon and criminal mastermind - fell off a cliff, on top of him, to injure the body so bad Moriarty had to vacate

Mary Watson née Morstan, 1876 - 1929

Bearer of Sherlock Holmes, 1891 - 1914

Sensible, dutiful, decisive (good in crisis, sometimes bad choices, esp. in anger), more aware of her own faults than John but also must work harder to overcome internalized prejudices

Took up Holmes after John’s death, to (vengefully but well-intentionedly) scour any trace of Moriarty from Earth.

Often did so with Young John on her hip, bc what else are you gonna do. Could’ve gotten a nanny but didn’t have too much money and (along with Holmes) was more worried about him out of her sight than chasing murderers with them

In the early 20th centuries, she started getting overtures from the British government re: taking Holmes to war and just, you know, fucking shit up. When WWI started, she and Young John quickly devised a Plan™

Young John Watson, 1891 - 1939

Bearer of Sherlock Holmes, 1914 - 1939

Eminently practical but secretly romantic, nay, Romantic™, drinks hella respect women juice, quick-thinking

His mother started calling him “Johnny” instead of “Young John” when he was 2, but Holmes never picked it up - to Johnny’s annoyance, bc he wanted to, you know, not just be his father. They had a full argument about it, Holmes refused the juvenile nickname, but did his best to use “John” for like a week before reverting. It grew on him a little, though.

The Plan™:

Basically, the govt had slowly come around to the idea that a weak and feeble woman was in possession (ha) of one of the strongest demons in England. They (she and Young John) were sure she’d be summoned once war broke out - indeed, perhaps she was, but it was more like sounding her out and she put them off. Can’t draft a woman after all.

But clearly they’d escalate, so…fortunately, John had fallen thoroughly and mutually in love with a young American woman, who didn’t mind taking him home at all - they’d probably beaten it around the bush a little, hypotheticals, and then this…there was a bit of a tizzy tbh. John nearly fucked it up, emphasizing that he was immigrating for Holmes and not for her, no pressure on her whatsoever. Possibly they didn’t sort it out until they arrived in New York - though this did have the boat ride to do it.

But yeah: Mary released Holmes, John took him up and left the country with the govt none the wiser, Mary continues putting off the govt until the passports were thoroughly stamped…

And then America stayed out of the war long enough, and idk if “conscientious objector” was a thing but I’m sure he found some way to put it off. 

Holmes did well during the Great Influenza, at least.

Buuut they ended up consulting detecting anyway lbr. 

Shot in 1939, possibly by sniper in crowded area or at least by gunmen in unexpected attack, on a case set up by Moriarty…

Gave Holmes his death, final order to get Jillian out of here alive. 

Amelia Hunter, 1896 - 1966

Moderately wealthy New York family

Visited her second cousin in London in 1913-1914, as well as the English suffragette movement (herself a part of the American movement)

Met and fell quite in love with Johnny Watson, with a cheerful dose of “your mother is so cool.” Cheerfully helped him and his mother con the British government out of a death demon, married him once they both got their heads a little straight

Jillian Watson, 1920 - 2019

Bearer of Sherlock Holmes, 1939 - 2019

I’m not saying she swore vengeance on not just Moriarty but the entirety of Nazi Germany whom he was supporting (for fun a profit, per usual), after they killed her father in front of her - for almost certainly the express purpose of keeping Holmes out of the incipient war - but I’m also not…not saying that

Nor am I saying that she was part of the inspiration for Captain America in this ‘verse, or at least for Peggy, but I’m not not saying that either

Slightly rogue incredible combat fighter who volunteers to go fight Nazis before it’s even cool? Yeah. Yeah. Some Peggy art just straight-up looks like her, once Kirby&Lee somehow met her

Jillian Watson. How do I begin to describe Jillian Watson

Jillian Watson is a superhero. Jillian Watson is a spy. After WWII, once someone in the army decided it was better to work with her than against her, she ended up in…whatever proto-CIA they were forming at the time

Also, got married and had a kid while still on semi-desk duty

Jillian Watson is known as “Angel of Death” in 40 languages in 95 countries. Jillian Watson liberated at least one Jewish concentration camp. Jillian Watson stopped the Cold War from getting Hot at least twice - and neither time involved Cuba. She was on vacation that month.

And Holmes, obviously. They had a very solid hot/cold balance - only one was ever emotional at once

Jillian Watson has kissed a KGB agent, killed a king, and met nearly every US President from Truman through Reagan. She liked Eisenhower best. Carter downright annoyed her, and she nearly had a shouted argument with LBJ, though they also exchanged a handful of letters

Jillian Watson probably helped bring down the government in Iran in the 70s

Jillian Watson was probably not a great mother. She was too busy chasing adrenaline and maybe glory. 

They liaised with the FBI, too, as it grew, and shifted to their Spiritual Crimes Division completely in the late 60s/early 70s, when age was starting to really catch up with her - a death spirit can keep away infections and viruses, but not the simple wear and tear of age and adventure

When the AIDS crisis hit, Marcus put them in contact with people and Jillian Watson once more became known as the Angel of Death, this time for bringing mercy

Retired age 80 (2000), under duress. Still did some consulting. 

Liz was an option, but she was already getting on, and maybe irritated not to have gotten Holmes before (and/or maybe growing out of that desire anyway?) Manuel was a candidate, but Holmes needed a lot of talking around - and it didn’t matter yet, bc neither of them wanted to be parted. Neither could quite forget losing her father (or hte original John Watson) and Holmes meant to stick it out, and Jillian had no intention of retiring that much

Eventually got some quite contacts - nay, friends! - among elderly in her area to engage in consensual euthenasia now and then. Supplemented by hanging out in morgues and cemeteries and buying and killing a TON of plants, and sometimes mice.

Went on a lot of protest marches in retirement

Marcus Watson, 1920 - 2005

Twin of Jillian

Gay

Settled down with a lovely partner (Henry White) sometime in the 50s in NYC, where they lived for the rest of their lives

Not particularly interested in the life of a consulting detective/incarnator. Didn’t mind, but got squeamish, and just…didn’t enjoy being in danger. John took him on a couple cases but Jillian was the one who wanted to go, to know, even when they were kids, and he was happy to let her. Born to be a house husband.

He and his Henry were fully exclusive, neither got AIDS - but they lost a lot of friends. Practically, he turned Jillian and Holmes on to the crisis, connected her with people who knew people

Jeremiah Fletcher, 1918 - 2000

Married Jillian Watson in 1946

Fell in love when she broke him out of a German prison in 1942

African-American

Elizabeth “Liz” Watson, 1949 - 2009

Free spirit, adventurous, thought her mother (+ Holmes) was the coolest person ever, wanted to be the same. 

Legitimately badass in her own right. Joined…same service probably? They didn’t want another woman but someone intelligent resigned themselves to at least having a Watson in reserve, in case they couldn’t convince the demon to accept another host

Though, why “convince” when you can bind?

And if there’s no alternative, maybe he’ll be happy with a proper agent…

Or there was one person hiring who wasn’t a total ass, eventually

Though possibly by that time she’d decided “fuck it” and set out on her own

Basically a mercenary. Expected to inherit Holmes when her mother retired. There were some awesome mother-daughter expeditions

Got having children out of the way early - one child, at least, via a random French man in the summer of 1970. Donna from Mamma Mia energy. Jacques SomethingFrench

Tension with her mother (and Holmes) grew as Jillian continued to not retire and Holmes…tried to look after them both tbh. Liz hated being cosetted

Heart attack age 60, slightly adrenaline-induced but relatively tame - hiking or something; maybe surfing. Died quickly in hospital

Therese Marquéz née Watson, 1971 - present

Resented being left behind with her grandfather (Jeremiah) or great-uncle or just nannies while he mother gallivanted around the globe, but nor did she personally enjoy gallivanting

All but refuses to carnate even a light or luck spirit

Ran away several times, permanently at age 18

Met a nice young man in police training, (him), married him quickly, had twins, happy for a while…until she got furious at him for working long hours, risking his life, not giving her the domestic bliss and picket fence life she’d imagined 

Also, he got along with her family, which she couldn’t stand

Didn’t even wait for him to come home, just left the twins with Manuel’s sister’s family and left

Has come to see them a couple times, called on birthdays usually, but in general is a mediocre person

Manuel Marquéz, 1970 - 2012

Husband of Therese

A Good Man

V aware of how the world is shitty but wanted to make it better anyway

Whirlwind romance with a beautiful but mysterious girl while he was in police training, had twins, thought he was achieving the American Dream until it turned out his wife was bristling with resentment and straight-up left one night while he was on shift

Prior to that, Jillian and Holmes randomly showed up at least once to see the twins, having heard from Marcus that they existed (the only family member Therese told; the only one she stayed in much contact with)

They got along great - he took her snappishness in stride, they shared a slightly cynical sense of humor and desire to do good nonetheless. Got talking about police investigations and procedure, he wanted to invite her back except Therese couldn’t STAND it, so they didn’t

But when he lost Therese, he reached out - because fuck you, but also, so the kids could know that side of their family, and by then Jillian had also settled down in southern CA probably? 

Dog person

Shot on the job when his kids were a year into college

David Marquéz, 1991 - present

Twin of Vanessa. Normal. Down-to-earth, B or B+ student, liked some sports, had friends, went to state college - Jillian offered to help pay for both twins, Manuel accepted bc that shit’s tough, especially two at once

Amiably disinterested in spiritual stuff - doesn’t mind, is more or less blasé about the whole Death Spirit thing - acts blase, at least; is actually kind of uncomfortable. But doesn’t want to be his mother, and so habitually doesn’t make a big deal of it, or of anything. Mediator.

Met a nice Jewish girl in college (Hannah Steinbeck) (himself tentatively, idly Catholic from the Marquéz side), dated her all through, followed her back to Boston to get a job…idk, something on computers. Coder?

Loudly insists (technically factually) that he’s the older brother, but to his credit has solid energy for it: responsible, stolid, reliable, Will fight if given cause. 

But also, DID cheerfully leave his sister to be primary local caretaker to their elderly great-grandmother and her death spirit, not long after their father’s death. Will put his hands over his ears and talk loudly while walking away from stressful situations

Strong-ish but apathetic carnator

Vanessa “Vinnie” Marquéz/Watson, 1991 - present

Bearer of Sherlock Holmes, 2019 ongoing

BSN from idk

Thinks SHE’S the responsible one, particularly after David moved to Boston

Got along well with her father; he always supported her desire to go into medicine to help people. Really looked up to him, considered that career - but he urged her to be more actively helping life than just stopping death/crime (wanted better for his kids)

Always fully aware that good cops like her dad are rare; kind of illogically despises the whole institution since his death

(WAS that, too, arranged by Moriarty? Question for another day)

Likes Great British Bake-Off but CANNOT bake; likes Project Runway and other fashion shows and does, actually, have good fashion sense (just insufficient money to fulfill it). Sews well. Talks to cloth like it’s a patient

Lesbian! 

Roommate is Darby, also a nurse, they/them. Together they’ll totally be like, *Leslie Knope voice* “Tragically, we are romantically incompatible*

First case happens literally in the apartment 3 stories down

I’m not saying she’s gonna kiss that FBI agent before it’s over but i’m sure as hell saying she’ll THINK about it

Also will get ⅔ of the way to telling Holmes to kill her and get the civilians out before backup arrives

[explorerspack]

for my first original post on this blog i will be attempting to process all my theories about poltical intrigue masterpiece CROP, all while cursing my decision to play a character with 20 INT in this of all games. this is gonna make no sense to anyone but the 11 people in that server and only a couple of us are even on tumblr but that’s ok this is mostly just for me processing and also so i can prove how smart i am if i do happen to get it exactly right on the first try <3 

SO: who’s behind the assassination attempts? more specifically, why are two random noble families working with Myconia?

theory 1: the border nobles, the Passionas and the Bluebar, are working with Myconia to try to start a war between Agricola and Floaroma because they’re both hoping to seize land, which there’s precedent for--Auberon’s family seized land after the Martini War. the problem with the idea of this collaboration between them is that there’s no way they BOTH would benefit from a war, and in fact being border lords puts them at MORE risk, buuut i could see Myconia masterminding and playing them against each other? it seems weird, because this really seems designed to start a war but the people who are doing it are the ones who are least likely to benefit from a war, or at least who’d be in a very high-risk-high-reward situation. therefore...

theory 2: Myconia has some funky mind-control magic and THAT’S how the nobles ended up working with them. there’s not really any evidence for this, other than that Myconia clearly has some super advanced magic, and also that they’re mushrooms, and therefore some spore stuff seems totally plausible. (i should....probably cut open rafael’s brain to check on this. however, that’s gross) 

theory 3: General Pea is right, and Floaroma and Myconia are working together. they faked the attack on Pista, the Bluebars are innocent and were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and Pax Flores is FULLY a trap. my instinct doesn’t agree with this, but it sure is possible!!!

theory 4: there’s a conspiracy going on, and we’ve got a coup coming. these weren’t the only nobles involved, and some people in the castle are involved too, and there are some in Pista too. again, my instinct doesn’t totally support this, but we sure did just get evidence of nearly undetectable sleeper agents. in this theory, Myconia is supplying said sleeper agents, and the mastermind is some or a few noble houses in both Floaroma and Agricola, and we have this campaign’s version of calroy crueller in our midst as we speak. 

theory 5: this is Arborea’s fault somehow? honestly i don’t vibe with this one simply because i didn’t think they usually go in for all this espionage, and i also don’t understand why they’d want to stop Pax Flores. which leads me to:

what the fuck is up with Arborea?

SUB-THEORY 1: Arborea is also a target, and they also had an assassination attempt, but we have NO eyes in Arborea so no way to get any info on this. (disclaimer: an insight check on my DM led me to this idea, but i’m still not fully sure it’s true)

SUB-THEORY 2: Arborea was already planning to attack Pax Flores, hence flexing their army, and the double-assassinations were designed to destabilize Agricola and Floaroma ahead of that. But honestly, the result is that we’re both gonna bring more troops, and that it might have gotten cancelled entirely. Maybe Myconia didn’t WANT Arborea to attack Pax Flores? Maybe Agricola and Floaroma are just caught in the middle?

SUB-THEORY 3, a combination of the above two: Arborea wasn’t planning to attack Pax Flores before, but they sure are now!

CAVEAT:

if Toshi is lying or even just wrong about how Myconia works, most of this gets fucked, because it’s based on the assumption that Myconia--all of Myconia--is necessarily involved

awesome! that didn’t help at ALL. i’m having the time of my life

[sumeshi-t]

the idea of making hc’s of children is sosososo cute. i’ll follow ur steps chloe @akaashit-baeji lolol this is gonna be really self-indulgent buuut my excuse is that it’s my birthday so here it goes... i'm writing the last half of this with a hangover and a bad case of dysmenorrhea... sucks 2 be me

Oikawa Teru (及川 輝)

his name “輝“ means “bright”, and this boi lives up to it because, let’s face it, he’s gonna be like his dad. he embodies this “brightness”, in a way that he’s smart, and he makes sure he and his team’s (or whichever team he’s going to be in) will shine on the court

wavy/curly hair and a victim of my and his dad’s astigmatism. always has this cheeky smile, and he gets my brimming energy so he’s really approachable and charming

very good with words; it’s like he always knows what to say

when he plays he also wears contact lenses

but don’t be fooled. in their generation, it’s him who has to put iwaizumi’s son in check. he knows everything about his teammates too, he knows more than what he lets on (which sometimes, they find creepy, but they all know he means well)

anyway, unlike his dad, he doesn’t really mind having geniuses around. instead, he watches them very closely; something like “mutualism”. he knows what he lacks and he knows he can learn from them too, vice versa.

is into horror games. in his free time, he and his sister take turns playing. and they decide it by seeing who can last the longest without flinching/screaming. he’s annoyed because his sister’s better at it 

has fans, ngl. i mean look at him. however, the female fans especially, are pretty on guard. he’s approachable, but anytime they see him with his sister... they back out. he doesn’t mind, he loves his sister and it actually amuses him. he’s the same when it comes to the boys who hang around her too!

basically protective siblings who are always there for eo

is very neat. can’t concentrate when something is out of place. he keeps his nails short, has a somewhat flowery scent. yes, he uses female perfumes because he despises strong smells.

bug-catching was his childhood hobby just like mine’s was. used to sneak beetles in iwaizumi’s son’s backpack back then

he will never admit it but he actually asks his sister for fashion tips because his taste sucks ass so bad

basically his major problem or issue in life is getting compared to his father (he’s also a setter). he hates that so much, being hidden in the shadow of his dad, and when people just recognize him for being oikawa tooru’s son.

something he and ushijima’s child relate to so strongly. they’re friendly rivals; might end up being teammates in their career hmm

so when he’s the one stressed, he skips practice for a day just so he could recollect his thoughts. usually stays in the library to read books he picked up based on the titles; might either open up to iwa or his sister later on, it depends. then when he’s okay, he doubles the amount of training

Oikawa Rie (及川 麗恵) it’s /ri-ye/ oki

so the kanjis are: "麗" meaning, beautiful and "恵" is blessed. tooru thought of this name obviously

also has curly hair like mine. has that tiny mole below her eye just like i do. actually has lots of moles over her body; one time she fell asleep on the couch her brother drew connecting lines between the moles on her arm and called them constellations. it was nice she thought but still, the next day, teru had to wear a band-aid over his nose bridge.

she’s just a year younger. is less “vibrant” than her brother, a bit more serious. has a resting bitch face and she’s not even sorry about it and i love her for that

she’s actually relieved she looks like that, or else she knows the girls in her class would flock to her just to get in her brother’s pants. usually brushes them off with “ask him, not me” or “do you think that’s any of my concern?” 

her tongue her words damn never get to this baby girl’s bad side she’s gonna burn you alive. like fr when she’s angry, oh she’s gonna show you that she’s angry. but tbh she's very sweet, leaves little notes or little gifts to her friends every now and then

she just doesn’t want her brother’s heart to be broken (she’s heard stories from her mom about her dad’s many hs exes), and she knows teru’s struggles

therefore

doesn’t really like volleyball that much. it’s because she didn’t get to grow up with her dad around, she felt like it separated her from him. she’s not mad at him though. she’s very supportive of him and her brother.

used to play vb though when they were kids. but that’s all it was for her

she’s the team’s honorary manager lol the occasional “i brought you guys sumn” or “something-kun, a girl from my class says she likes you so do your best” etc

the team’s lil sister how bout that

despite being tolerant of horror games, this girl is vvvv squeamish. she cries at the sight of internal organs or blood. biology lab was the worst time of her life 

when she dug up my hs videos she was shook to discover i once did theater. and thus begins her interest in theater too

and??? baby girl is actually???? really really good???? 

the girls she used to shut down nicknamed her “prima”, short for “prima donna” she hates it. hates it more when her closest theater buddy was the one who spread that around

immediately went to the gym to spike some balls from her brother. baby girl was crying because she was just so pissed.

she was given ice cream and sweets afterwards. ugh it’s so cute idk she’s baby to the team skksksk they protecc

in that upcoming play, her first ever performance, the whole team got front row seats and howled when she came on during curtain call; it was vvv sweet and memorable even if the guys were kinda reprimanded afterwards lmao

which is why, in return, boiis also have a hard time approaching her because damn??? the vb team as your knights???? excuse me??? 

oh have i mentioned she has a sweet tooth? mygod. she has a stash of sweets in her room. teru has had to sneak some away because she might get tooth aches or diabetes

her pastel nail polish is arranged by shade, her body clock is fucked up lmao she hates the mornings; has succulents by her window which she names after various characters from books/plays etc she’s for sure gonna be a theater actress tho

asks help from iwa’s son for math. even her brother’s 0% help. teru is smart but a terrible teacher. she’s an above-average student and that’s all that matters for her. she can leave the spotlight to her brother because she only craves one type of spotlight

Miya Seiichi (宮 聖一) and Miya Seiji (宮 聖二)

their names literally mean “聖” sacred then “一” is one, and “二” is two

atsumu thought it was funny. when they were kids, seiichi’s nickname was “juan” and seiji’s was “tutu” (i gave them the nicknames)

when the twins discovered the meaning behind the nicknames, they hated it. especially seiji, he despises it vvv much

so when they were hs, seiichi = chi, seiji = ji for the people they're close with

as we can see here, the twins unfortunately got my curls. seiichi likes his hair as is. he doesn’t like the thought of dyeing his hair just to be differentiated from his twin. in fact he enjoys twin jokes, enjoys tripping people up about it. seiji on the other hand, grew tired of his brother’s jokes and by the time hs started, he sacrifices his soft hair. 

between the two, seiji is the one who has my ugly eyesight. add to the fact that he reads a lot (once he starts he can’t put it down. so he reads in the dark, in a moving car etc)

the piercings was a thing that happened between them, and their cousins (which were also twins wtf)–it was a 2v2 vb thing and they lost

surprisingly, the cousins weren't pleased bc atsumu didn't scold them for getting piercings (but for playing half-heartedly). seiichi wanted the piercings tho tbh it was the perfect excuse. ngl, seiji also wanted them.

first let's talk abt seiichi, aside from the fact he also got my mole (he feels it makes him look cuter tho)

seiichi's into vb, but not a setter. he's the ace. may or may not push through with it as a career. he hasn't decided yet. is actually a bit sad that seiji didn't join the vb club in hs, he wanted them to be like his dad and uncle.

seiichi doesn't have any uh, quirks like shutting the whole cheer squad up like his dad does. but he usually dribbles the ball five times before any serve (this is something i did before) and he likes the 'ooooh hey' thing the crowd does when he goes for a serve

his side of the room doesn't have much stuff going on except workout equipment. he follows what exercise plan i give him as da PT mom that i am, and he is very strict with his diet and with what he eats–he's close to not needing a calorie counter anymore; but not a picky eater. he loves his uncle's cooking very much and he is jealous he can't cook even if he tries

he can do beatboxing, he learned it through youtube lmao his spotify playlists are da bombest; he learns a lot in youtube tho in his free time. his current interest is magic tricks and french (he thinks he can use it to woo that girl from class 4)

he hates insects, and hates mess. he has had to scold his twin about it that it escalated to them having this imaginary line in the middle of the room

anyway, he's straightforward. but not rude. he just doesn't like any pretenses so he says what he thinks or feels is right. may or may not have led to some misunderstandings, but he owns up to his mistakes if he crossed a line

next, seiji

even if he looks like a nerd with his glasses tbh he is not he actually hates studying. you can love reading without having to love studying right? he's that dude

the only time that he regrets dyeing his hair was when he realizes couldn't change identities so his brother could take his exam for him

his side of the room is littered with his sketches, notes from books, pencils everywhere – he drew a bunch of ants one time on a paper and made it look like they're real ass ants and placed it on seiichi's pillow

to solve this problem, atsumu has planned to give him a tablet for his next birthday

quits vb in hs because he kinda lost interest? he still finds it fun but he doesn't wanna be put under the pressure that his dad and uncle left for them lmao

he's in art clubs tho

he designs banners/posters for the team anyway. they use his strategic mind from the shit he's read for any plays and stuff so when he's not drawing, he's thinking

he might look like he has no emotions, but tbh he is more emotional and empathetic than his brother. he cries easily over the simplest things, like those grandparents vids, or rescuing animals and stuff

and thats why he doesn't let people in too much bc he knows he'll be hurt (dw seiichi knows this vvv well, and even if they do have arguments, he loves his lil bro and helps him about this)

has once begged to have a cat at home–seiichi didn't want bc he knows his twin is gonna leave him for clean up lmao

he can cook period.

he's gonna either be an architect or an animator, still hasn't decided.

his music taste sucks lmao. his youtube recents are filled with cooking stuff; in constant conversation with his uncle abt cooking lol it be cute sometimes atsumu is jealous bc he feels his son is closer to his brother than with him

he is forgetful that's why his stuff is messy lol he keeps misplacing stuff, sometimes it's literally in front of him and he's just 'where????'

but remembers dates well, remembers plays well. he's good at nitpicking tiny nearly insignificant details. just anything outside studying? he's good. dw he passes his classes but he hates giving effort for that shit lololol

[cabbagebender]

Keith? Oh and Hunk?

Ahh, thanks for the ask! From this headcanon ask game:

Hunk

Age:

Supplementary canon: 17 - 18 in Seasons 1-6, 18-19 in Seasons 7-8.

Headcanon: I take the birthdays and ages in the Paladin Handbook as if the book were written on January 1st, so Hunk is only three months younger than pre-space whale Keith, and he's closer in age to (psw) Keith than to Lance.

Ethnicity:

Supplementary Canon: Half Samoan, half African-American.

Headcanon: Samoan on his dad's side, African-American on his mom's. Yes, I have his entire family figured out. They were relatively major characters in a fic I was hyperfixated on writing for a few months.

Gender:

Sure!

Which is to say, I've entertained pretty much every gender headcanon there is for Hunk except cis girl.

Mental Health:

Anxiety

I've considered Hunk as having ADHD before

Physical Health:

I saw a colorblind headcanon for Hunk once and like, I can get behind that?

Also, I think it'd be tragically amusing if Hunk had a food allergy that piSSED him oFF because it keeps getting in the way of him trying dishes he really wants to try

Orientation:

Bi/Pan (I go back and forth on which label I use for him, but the sentiment remains the same – all genders)

Most of the time I headcanon him as someone who, well, doesn't necessarily actively identify as arospec, but acknowledges that he has NO idea how to differentiate between romantic and platonic attraction. He just? loves people? Once the other person is like "this is what our relationship is" it's a lot easier for him to then develop his feelings along the appropriate track, but like, for example, if Pidge, his best friend who he has a 100% platonic relationship with and has never wanted anything different from, was suddenly like "hey, i wanna date you!" he probably would be like "yeah, okay, sure, we can try that!" (he might be confused because Pidge hasn't historically been romantically attracted to people. But if he was convinced she was serious). And that's not because he's secretly harboring romantic feelings for her, he's just sort of down for developing romantic feelings for any of his most special people at a moment's notice – OR for nurturing a hearty platonic love that can never be broken.

I have written him as more alloromantic, though – but he always values his friendships as much as his romances.

Poly Hunk poly Hunk poly Hunk P O L Y

(The Hunk-and-Allura polycule is one of my favorite little brain things, borne out of the fact that I keep shipping those two with the same people)

Religious Background and Current Beliefs

Protestant Christian to both of the above, of the "be generous and love thy neighbour" variety

Keith

Age:

Supplementary canon: 18-19 in S1-5, 21 in S6-8

Ethnicity:

Half Korean-American on his human side.

(In human!AUs, I have him as half Korean-American, half-English-American. The biggest empire in recent history is the British Empire, so I usually make humanized Galra characters English for parallel reasons)

(which is funky bc I've done a LOT of human AUs, which means in my head I sort of think of Keith as mixed white/Korean but in the actual show he's none white)

Gender:

Agender

The hair. It's been growing out for years. It's Keith's (lack of) gender affirmation project.

Sometimes I have them eventually going by K and using they/them pronouns.

Mental Health:

ADHD

Autism

Prosopagnosia (face blindness)

Desperate, desperate need of a therapist

Physical Health:

Lots of fun funky alien biology side effects that made his doctors twitch when he was a supposedly all-human kid:

I've seen headcanons that Keith can't digest vegetables because of his Galra heritage. I'm not sure if I hold that headcanon 100%, because he is still half-human, but I definitely agree that Galra are carnivores (look at the teeth) and Keith is probably malnourished. Even his human parent is big and buff and Keith... is not. If he'd been raised by his dad throughout his childhood maybe he would have grown up beefier and taller (since I'm sure his dad probably at least somewhat understood the Galra diet from having lived with Krolia), buuut his dad died when Keith was prepubescent and then he was in the foster system and... yeah he probably wasn't getting the optimized diet for his particular interspecies genetic makeup.

I like to think that he grew up with a couple of Very Strange Health Conditions that turned out to just be Galra things, like UV vision and two sets of baby teeth and ridges of bone protruding from.his scalp like Acxa has (hello, big poofy bangs to hide that).

Also, any time he had to do a blood test or a urine test at the doctor's it just... did not provide anything resembling useful information.

Doctor: I... don't know what I'm looking at here exactly but we've run the test multiple times and this seems to be your actual blood? How do you have this much iron in your blood?? Maybe eat... less meat?

Hunk, looking at the same results years later, having adjusted for Galra heritage: Keith, you're anemic.

Keith: are you KIDDING me

(see: Keith is malnourished)

Like most real life interspecies hybrids, I think Keith is probably incapable of natural reproduction.

Orientation:

Asexual

Aromantic

But like also sometimes he feels intense things for people that are different from his usual platonic bonds, but the word romantic is all lovey dovey to him and he Can't attach that to the complicated place his feelings are coming from so ??? Is he actually aro?? or does he just have Stuff way too deeply seated to ever process his romantic attraction in a clear and conventional way?? does it make a difference at this point, if the word aro is what's comfortable for him? aka, stuff keith ponders alone in his room at 2:30 in the morning

(If you want my specific headcanons about Who "people" are, it's Allura and Hunk – his hella strong but also kinda messy emotional connection with Allura, where he's just like "I know this is different from every other bond in my life but Please do not ask me to explain idk the Fuck is going on," and the fact that every time Hunk grabs him or picks him up or otherwise manhandles him his brain just shuts down like "oh this is good please continue to make hold" when it SHOULD be going into fight mode the way it would for anyone else)

Religious Background and Current Beliefs

I honestly don't know what Keith's background would be, but I think he's sort of... generally agnostic? Like, he believes in a higher power but not necessarily a sentient one or something to be worshipped. It's more like a big spiritual pulse through the multiverse that connects everything and everyone – fate, but with free will. It's what he taps into to access his nigh psychic abilities, which I've talked about before but maybe not since I made this sideblog so let me know if you want me to make a post about that.

[hellyeahheroes]

Building Kara Zor-El in D&D 5e

What? I haven’t done one of these in a while and I had a few done (check out the Masterpost). So why not, it’s Halloween (I was working on this whole night), let’s build someone many kids want to be and quite a few likely dressed up as for Halloween. Admittingly this might be a bit standing the boundaries of “more obscure characters than Tulok the Barbarian does”, buuut seeing how he hasn’t yet got around building her more popular cousin, I’m not exactly expecting her build from him soon. Anyway, why not surprise your DM on Halloween game or later and come with a sheet for Girl of Steel?

First, let us state our goals for this build. First, we need to be able to fly, use heat vision, cold breath, super hearing, and sight. Second, we need to be able to punch and take a hit as well. Finally, we need to ensure Kara is an inspiring hero other can look up to.

For Ability Scores, I’ll be sticking to standard point array - 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, 8, if your DM would you rather use a point-buy or roll, consider these to be the guidelines.

Strength: 15, Kryptonians are known for their physical might

Dexterity: 12, Kara usually isn’t wearing armor and is known for her speed and reflexes.

Constitution: 13, you’re Girl of Steel, not Woman of Kleenex (watch no one gt or care for this outdated reference and make me feel older than dirt -.-)

Intelligence: 8, Kara is pretty bright but her education was Kryptonian, meaning she had some trouble catching on what humanity knows and what it doesn’t, in some continuities at least

Wisdom: 10, Kara is often shown as more reckless and impulsive than her cousin, but her heightened Kryptonian senses mitigate it a bit.

Charisma: 14, the second-highest stat. Kara is beloved by people, has a reputation of a sweetheart, is inspiring to many and you kinda need this to pull off that whole “secret identity” thing.

There is no Kryptonian Race in 5e. There are two races I’ve been thinking off for this. Aasimar has more thematic sense but since Half-Elf makes it easier to mitigate the inherent MADness (MAD - Multiple Ability Dependent) of playing a Supergirl, it will work better for our purposes. You get +2 to Charisma and +1 to two other Ability Scores of your choice, round up Strength and Constitution to start with 2 16s and a 14. You have an advantage for saving throws against being Charmed, helping us mitigate a bit that poor WIS save. You get Darkvision, allowing you to see in the dim light up to 60 feet as if it was a bright light and in darkness as if it were dim light. You learn Common, Elvish and one language of your choice, pick something Campaign relevant and whatever instrument you want to play when fighting Music Meister. You also get proficiency with two skills of your choice. Pick Persuasion and Perception

For Background we will be picking outlander - you are not from around wherever the campaign is taking place, a wild-eyed idealist in a world that needs more smiles. You gain proficiency with Athletics and Survival, one type of musical instrument and one language of your choice. You also get a Wanderer Feature, which makes you more adept at traveling, better at using maps and gives you an excellent memory.

Now, with this out of the way, let’s go to the bread and butter of D&D, the Classes.

We will kick off with a level in Warlock. Yes, you heard me right. Warlock. The edgelord of all classes. Where are you going, hear me out! I swear I didn’t lose my mind. There is logic to this choice and I will be explaining it in a moment, but first, we need to get a number of Warlock features out of the way. Warlock gets proficiency in Light Armor, Simple Weapons, as well as Charisma and Wisdom saving throws, further helping mitigate that poor WIS score. Add proficiency in two more skills, Investigation to scoop villain plots and Deception for your secret identity.

Warlock gets to have spells. Warlock spells work in that you get a small number of spell slots that go back after every short rest and you can use them to cast any spell you know. As you learn higher level spells to know, your spells are treated as cast from the highest level possible. Cantrips you can cast any number of times you want and they scale up with your level. Your saving throw for spells is 8 + Your Proficiency Bonus + Your Charisma Modifier and if you make a spell attack roll it’s just the last two of those.

You get to learn two Cantrips and two First Level Spells

Let us get the Cold Breath first. Frostbite is a cantrip that forces a target to make a Constitution saving throw or take 1d6 cold damage and get a disadvantage on the next weapon attack roll if it makes one during its next turn. Damage increases by 1d6 on your 5th, 11th and 17th level

Eldritch Blast is the Warlock Cantrip. It sends a beam that requires a ranged spell attack and on hit it deals 1d10 Force Damage to the target. On get to send one more blast at the same or different target as a single casting on 5th, 11th and 17th level. Play it as part of your heat vision or Kara blowing her enemies away with a regular super breath.

Armor of Aghatys lets Kara surround herself with some of her cold breath, giving her 5 extra health points. Additionally, if a creature hits you with a melee attack while you have these hit points, it takes 5 points of cold damage. And for each spell slot level above the first both these numbers increase by 5.

Hellish Rebuke is cast as a reaction when a creature damaged you and lets you burn them with heat vision, taking 2d10 fire damage or half on successful Dexterity saving throw. At higher levels the damage increases by 1d10 each.

Okay, now let us talk about the Otherworldly Patron. And here is why I decided to go with the Warlock. Because there is one that fits perfectly. Celestial Patron means you draw your powers from some sort of celestial being or entity and these are divine in nature. It would fit Kara perfectly if only there was some sort of fitting thing. I mean, t’s not like Kryptonians gain their powers from some sort of body on the celestial pantheon, something great and powerful in the sky, source of their powers is...

OH MY GOD IT’S THE SUN!!!!1!!!!

You’re Sun Warlock, you made a pact with the Sun. Sun had enough of BBEG’s bullshit. If a goldilocks guy with a pair of wings can count as Celestial Patron then I assure you SO CAN AN ACTUAL STAR! Also, I now recall in 4th Edition Stara were actually sentient so who knows, you can work something out of that, maybe such a star survived to a new edition. We even know Stars are sentient and have personifications from one Sandman story.

Celestial Warlock lets you add two spells for each level of your spell list and you learn two extra cantrips:

Light lets you make one object not larger than 10-feet shine a bright light in a 20-foot radius and an additional 20 of dim light. If you cast it on an object held by someone they need to succeed a Dexterity saving throw or drop it. You can always use it to make yourself shine or make something shine as an effect of your heat vision.

Speaking of which, Sacred Flame deals a 1d8 radiant damage to a target, with an additional 1d8 once you reach 5th, 11th and 17th level each, half on a successful Dexterity saving throw.

You also get Healing Light, granting you a pool of 1d6 dice equal 1 + your Warlock Level. You can spend them as a bonus action to heal a creature within 60 feet that you can see. Roll a number of dice, not larger than your Charisma modifier, that’s your upper limit for single use of this feature, then add that many to the creature’s hit points. Once you spend all the die out, you get them back on short rest. Remember, hit points aren’t meat points, they can symbolize also how many chances at avoiding a certain death a hero has or their determination to keep going against overwhelming odds. Play Kara as so heroic and inspirit she reinvigorates her friends for further fight.

ALTERNATIVE: Weird, I wasn’t planning for an alternative here. We’re *zzzzzzzzzzt*-ing to the Celestial, it is only *shhhhh* fitting option. Weird, it seems we have some ---LET ME IN--- problems with the broadcast but don’t worry, I’m sure we fi *scratching noises* it in no time. Why do I suddenly feels like if I someone was standing right behin...DEA--

Well, well, well, what do we have here. You really thought I’m going to let you have something fun and wholesome on Halloween and do not...spice it up a bit. HAHAHAHA! Aren’t you funny? As if I could keep myself from seeing something related to my new...pet projects, and not want to corrupt it.

Forget the Celestial Patron, I have a much better one right here, to truly make your Supergirl a little bit more...Infected. My good old friend Barbatos, a horror trapped in the darkness below all of us. In this game, they call that Great Old One. Instead of some meek Cantrips, I will be freeing Supergirl’s mind from all these pesky limitations and allow her to spread this Infection. She will gain Awakened Mind, allowing her to telepathically communicate with any creature she can see within 30 feet. You may call it super hearing and I will call it the influence of her new master.

But maybe that’s not up to your taste? Maybe you want something more...crispy. Well, you can always ask my new best friend who has his own interest in Supergirl one time. Am I right, buddy?

WHO THE FUCKING JAR OF COCKROACHES STUFFED INTO A FLYING SQUIRREL’S ASS ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU GET MY NUMBER?! ONCE I FIND OUT I WILL BURN ALL THAT LEATHER AND FLESH UNDERNEATH IT TO A GODDAMN CRIPS! THAT WILL TEACH YOU CALLING 3RD IN THE FUCKING MORNING! FUCKING TRICK OR TREATERS!

ANYWAY, IF YOU WANT TO TURN YOUR SUPERGIRL INTO RED DAUGHTER OF KRYPTON, PICK UP FIEND PATRON, THAT WILL BE ME OF COURSE. OR THE BUTCHER, SAME THING AT THE END OF THE FUCKING DAY!

YOU GET DARK ONES’ BLESSING, IT MEANS THAT WHENEVER YOU REDUCE AN OPPONENT TO 0 HEALTH POINTS, YOU GET BACK HEALTH POINTS EQUAL YOUR CHARISMA MODIFIER PLUS YOUR WARLOCK LEVEL! PUNISH THE GUILTY TO KEEP ON FIGHTING!

Ah that Atrocitus. A crude man, but gotta give him that, he sure is excited about his craft. We will be sticking around to make this thing a bit more...fun. Do not tell the fool hosting this. It will be our little secret.

I’m sorry, I must have dozed off, I must been just very tired, but I’m better now. So, where did we left off...

2nd Level Warlock gains Eldritch Invocations. Armor of Shadows maybe is not properly named but you can always refluff something. It allows you to cast Mage Armor on yourself without expending a spell slot. It lets you change AC of yourself or one willing creature to 13+Dexterity modifier, this should help with your poor AC. As you probably use Eldritch Blast a lot as part of your Heat Vision, let's make it a bit hotter - Agonizing Blast lets you add your Charisma modifier to any damage dealt by it.

You also get to learn a new spell. 

Guiding Bolt from Celestial Patron lets you make a ranged Spell Attack against the target. Not only you deal 1d6 radiant damage on a successful hit (+1d6 for each spell slot level above 1st that it was cast from) but also before the end of your next turn next attack against the target gets an advantage since you basically lit the target on fire. Party Rogue is gonna love you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but where is fun in that? How about you instead pick something more...entertaining? Tasha’s Hideous Laughter from Great Old One Patron lets you pick one target and let them show how fun the world really is, make them appreciate how everything doesn’t really matter! Make them laugh so hard they fall prone and cannot stand up! It’s like you sprayed them with some good old Joker Serum, except you need to concentrate to keep it going for up to 1 minute and once you cast it, at the end of each their turn and whenever they’re damaged they make a Wisdom saving throw to break free, that last one with an advantage. So, you know, don’t punch... A Man Who Laughs. YAHAHAHAHA!

WHO THE FUCKS FIGHTS PEOPLE WITH LAUGHTER?! FUCK THAT SHIT! YOU WANNA SPELL? FIRST OF ALL, FUCK YOU AND SECOND, PICK BURNING HANDS FROM FIEND PATRON LIST. DON’T LET THE NAME FOOL YOU, WHAT YOU DO IS SPEW FIRE FROM YOUR MOUTH IN A 15-FOOT CONE AND  DEAL 3D6 FIRE DAMAGE TO EVERYONE IN IT,  HALF ON A FAILED SAVE! YOU CAST IT FROM HIGHER LEVELS, 1D6 EXTRA DAMAGE PER EACH! YOU’RE WELCOME! EVERYTHING FLAMMABLE NOT WORN OR CARRIED IS SET ON FIRE AS WELL! GOOD! BURN IT! BURN IT ALL DOWN!

3rd Level Warlock gets a Pact Boon Feature. Pact of the Chain lets us cast Find Familiar. We can use it to summon a pet to aid Kara in combat. Familiars are very useful if you know what you’re doing (seriously, Party Rogue is gonna love you even more just for using it to flank), once it dies you can summon it again, it can deliver your touch spells and you can sacrifice one of your attacks to let it attack. Sadly, you cannot get Krypto out of it, as dogs aren’t allowed for summon. But a cat is fine. Or in Warlock’s case a flying creature like Imp or Pseudodragon, Sprite or Quasit. First 3 can fly, all but Sprite have an advantage against Spells and Other Magical effects they share with you as long as you’re within 10 feet of them. Your DM shouldn’t probably be mad if you use statistics of one and refluff it as Streaky the Supercat

You also get to learn your first 2nd level Spell.

Celestial Warlock’s Flaming Sphere is a concentration spell you can keep up to 1 minute, it basically makes you cause huge ass fire in an unoccupied area 5-foot in diameter, dealing 2d6 (+1d6 for each higher spell slot level used) of fire damage, half on a successful Dexterity Saving Throw. You can even move it as a bonus action, up to 30 feet, and rise it up to 5 feet above barriers and 10 feet above pits, igniting all not worn or carried flammable objects, causing its damage effects on any creature you ram it into. More of your heat vision, really.

WHY DIDN’T I GOT THIS THING?! WHO THE FUCK WROTE THAT?! NEVERMIND, I HAVE SOMETHING AS GOOD! SCORCHING RAY LETS YOU MAKE 3 RAYS OF FIRE YOU CAN HURL AT A SINGLE OR MULTIPLE TARGETS, EACH DEALING 3D6 POINTS OF DAMAGE ON A SUCCESSFUL SPELL ATTACK ROLL! CAST IT FROM HIGHER LEVELS, YOU GET MORE RAYS, ONE PER SPELL SLOT LEVEL!

Personally, I just couldn’t resist picking  Crown of Madness. It lets you force a Wisdom Saving Throw on a target and if they fail they get Charmed and go mad. They even get a crown of jagged iron on their heads. You can keep it up for up to 1 minute with concentration and on each of its turns, you choose a target your victim must attack. Sadly it has few downsides - you must waste your actions on your turns to maintain the effects, the target makes another WIS save on end of each of its turns and they must hit someone before they move and if you do not choose a target or cannot, they can do whatever they want. Still, how can you say no to...spreading the joy?

4th Level Warlock gets an Ability Score Improvement, but we will take a feat. Tavern Brawler increases your unarmed damage die to 1d4, makes you proficient with improvised weapons, when you strike a creature with an unarmed attack or improvised weapon, you can use your bonus action to attempt to grapple the target. You also get to increase Strength or Constitution, I’ll go with the latter.

You also get a new spell AND a new Cantrip

Chill Touch lets you make a ranged spell attack, on a hit it deals 1d8 necrotic damage (plus extra d8s at level 5th, 11th and 17th) and makes the target unable to regain hit points until the start of your next turn and if the target is undead they have a disadvantage on attack rolls against you. More of your freeze breath.

 Shatter lets you make a super noise, I assume a super scream, dealing each creature within 10-foot radius sphere around the target you choose 3d8 thunder damage (+1d8 for each higher level of spell slot), half on a Constitution saving throw, on which all creatures made of inorganic material have a disadvantage on, and also dealing these damage to all nonmagical objects not worn or carried in the area

Now let’s take a move to Paladin and add some strength to all that magic. Kryptonians worshipped Rao, their star, which is close enough to your Patron, THE SUN you should probably not have much of a conflict. Maybe. Combining Patron and an Oath on a single character means that even with similar entities there might be a need to carefully balance the needs of your two masters. GM will either love you for providing such great opportunities for torturing you or hate you for having to come up with what kind of beef Rao and the fucking Sun could have.

Paladin gets you proficiency with martial weapons, medium armor and shields if you want to have your Kara in Lena’s power armor. You also get Divine Sense, allowing you to open awareness to your surroundings and detect any celestial, fiend or undead within 60 feet, as well as the type of that undead and also all areas that have been consecrated or desecrated. You can do it a number of times equal 1+ your CHA modifier and you egin uses after long rest.

You also get Lay on Hands, that allows you to, as a bonus action, restore hit points of you or a creature you touch up to amount equal your Paladin level x5 or you can spend 5 points from the pool to cure one poison or disease affecting the target. Again, treat this as Kara using her warm words and attitude to restore the fighting spirit of your comrades.

2nd Level Paladin gets to pick a fighting style. Mariner adds you +1 to AC and makes your swimming and climbing speed equal your walking speed as long as you’re not wearing armor.

You also get a Divine Smite, letting you burn a spell slot to deal extra radiant damage, 2d8 for 1st level spell slot and 1d8 extra for each higher level of the slot.

You also get Paladin Spells. Your save DC and Spell Attack Bonus are as for Warlock. However, Paladin just knows their spells and after every long rest, when they regain hit points, prepares a number of them equal to Charisma modifier + half your Paladin Level. To cast a spell paladin needs to burn a spell slot of an appropriate or higher level.  Also, you multiclass Warlock and another caster and that’s very simple - you keep an eye on each of their spell slot numbers separately but can use one’s to cast the other’s spells or for other’s features. Meaning you can burn Warlock spell slots to smite. You get 2 Spell slots but you should have at least 3 spell prepared per day so I’ll list 3 spells

Shield of Faith is a concentration spell for up to 10 minutes, providing the target with +2 bonus to AC. It stacks with Mariner and Mage Armor, meaning your AC can be up to 17 now.

Thunderous Smite is another concentration spell, it lets you on your next attack while you maintain the spell to punch someone so hard you cause huge sound wave, deal extra 2d6 damage to the target and forces them to succeed a Constitution saving throw or be pushed 10 feet away or be knocked prone.

Heroism lets you make yourself or other creature immune to being frightened and gain temporary hit points equal to your Charisma modifier. Casting from higher levels lets you pick up multiple targets for one spell.

Thunderous Smite in action.

On 3rd Level Paladin gets the Divine Health, making Kara immune to Earth diseases. You also get to choose the Divine Oath. Every Oath has rules you must follow and gains bonuses and extra spells known you can prepare.

Oath of Heroism from Unearthed Arcana is about embracing your heroic call. It’s basically built for He-Man types but it will work for Kara as well. 

You get a new spell to know - Expeditious Retreat is a Concentration spell, letting you Dash as a bonus action on each of your turns as long as you maintain it. Adds a bit of super speed to the mix.

You also get Channel Divinity,  which you can use once every long or short rest. You gain two options, both activated as a bonus action. Pearless Athlete lets you gain advantage on Athletics and Acrobatics checks, while Legendary Strike makes you crit on 19 or 20 instead of just 20 for 1 minute.

Bah, who would want that boring, tied, goody-two-shoes crap. Choose the Oath of Conquest instead. I’m not much a guy for the rules myself, but you may like the stuff Oath of Conquest has to offer 

For your new spell, choose Wrathful Smite. it works similar to Thunderous Smite, but deals psychic damage and the target hit must make Wisdom saving throw or be frightened of you.

Channel Divinity options are also better. Conquering Presence as an action forces each creature of your choice within 30 feet, as long as you can see them, to make a Wisdom saving throw or be frightened of you for 1 minute or until they succeed a save at the end of their turn. It’s like the Smite I just gave you...but you don’t need to get your hands dirty. Meanwhile Guided Strike lets you add +10 to an attack roll, you can choose to do it after you’ve rolled but before DM declares if it’s a hit or a miss.

UNSURPRISINGLY, I SEE ONLY ONE OATH WORTH MY TIME! OATH OF VENGEANCE! CHOOSE HUNTER’S MARK FOR A SPELL! REQUIRES CONCENTRATION BUT ONCE YOU MARK A TARGET, YOU DEAL EXTRA 1D6 DAMAGE TO IT WHENEVER YOU HIT THEM AND HAVE AN ADVANTAGE ON PERCEPTION AND SURVIVAL CHECKS TO TRACK THEM DOWN! AND WHEN THEY DROP TO ZERO HIT POINTS, YOU CAN PUT IT ON ANOTHER TARGET AS A BONUS ACTION! 

OW FOR THAT CHANNEL DIVINITY! AS A BONUS ACTION YOU CAN ACTIVATE VOW OF ENMITY, SWEARING YOUR VENGEANCE UPON A TARGET AND GAINING ADVANTAGE ON ATTACK ROLLS AGAINST IT FOR 1 MINUTE, UNTIL IT DROPS TO ZERO OR FALLS UNCONSCIOUS! FOR AN ACTION YOU CAN ABJURE ENEMY, FORCING A WISDOM SAVING THROW ON ONE TARGET! IF FAILED, THEY’RE FRIGHTENED FOR 1 MINUTE OR UNTIL IT TAKES DAMAGE AND IT’S SPEED IS REDUCED TO 0 AND CANNOT BE INCREASED! ON A SUCCESS ITS SPEED IS HALVED FOR THE SAME DURATION!

4th Level Paladin gains an Ability Score Improvement or a Feat. Resilient lets us round up Constitution and makes us proficient with Constitution saving throws.

5th Level Paladin gains an Extra Attack, letting you attack twice as an attack action and can now use 2nd level spells and one 1st level spell

Our 1st Level Spell will be Protection from Evil and Good. Up to 10 minutes on Concentration it grants all creatures of a chosen type - Celestial, Fiend, Fey, Undead, Elemental or Aberration - get a disadvantage on attacks against you, or another person you used it on, and are unable to charm, frighten or possess you. If the target already was under one of these effects,  it gains advantage on saving throws to break free.

Enhance Ability is a concentration spell from Oath of Heroism list, up to 1 hour of duration, giving an advantage on checks for one ability score and some extra bonuses depending on your choice.

Find Steed lets you summon a steed you can ride on. Sadly you’re too big to ride Krypto but, well, Comet the Superhorse exists. While riding him you can make any spell affecting you also affect him, you can communicate with him telepathically and if he dies he is sent back to whichever dimension you called him from and you can summon a new one. So that is a thing.

Yeah, ignore any of that. A horse, that guy is crazier than I am. Hold Person from Oath of Conquest lets you paralyze a target for up to 1 minute on concentration or if they succeed a saving throw. Immobilize them and then finish them off, while they watch hopelessly. That’s true fun!

WHILE THIS IS INDEED A GOOD SPELL, SINCE IT IS ON MY LIST TOO, I HAVE A BETTER IDEA! MISTY STEP LETS YOU TELEPORT UP TO 30 FEET IN AN UNOCCUPIED SPACE YOU CAN SEE! YOU WANTED SUPER SPEED?! HERE!

Back to Warlock. 5th Level Warlock gains a new Eldritch Invocation - Eldritch Spear increases the range of your Eldritch Blast to 300 feet. We will swap it for something more climactic next time we take the Invocations. You get access to 3rd Level Spells. Fly. Grab Fly. You are Supergirl and Supergirls just fly. It's a concentration spell and lasts up to 10 minutes, gives you a flying speed of 60 feet.

Weird, I was expecting to have this strange interruption here. Maybe they’re gone? I hope so.

6th Level Warlock gets otherworld Patron Feature and a new Spell. 

Celestial Warlock gains Radiant Soul - resistance to radiant damage and adds their Charisma modifier to spells that deal flame and radiant damage, which we have a lot. For a spell pick Counterspell, which lets you as a reaction interrupt one spell of level 3rd or less and if you want to stop a higher-level spell you need to pass a Charisma check at DC 10+Spell Level

Great Old One Warlock meanwhile gets Entropic Ward, which once per long or short rest lets you impose a disadvantage on an attack against you and until the end of your next turn grants you an advantage on the next attack against them if they miss. For bonus points be a meanie and say “look what you made me do” when you use it. For a spell, Fear is a Concentation one, that forces a Wisdom saving throw on each creature in a 30-foot cone. On failed save, they’re frightened and up for 1 minute or until you break concentration must take Dash action to get away from you and can only make another save once they no longer see you.

FIEND WARLOCK GAINS DARK ONE’S OWN LUCK! ONCE EVERY LONG OR SHORT REST YOU CAN CHOOSE TO ROLL A 1D10 AND ADD THE RESULT TO AN ABILITY CHECK OR A SAVING THROW. AND FOR THE SPELL CHOOSE FIREBALL. IT LETS YOU HURL A FIREBALL AT ANY POINT YOU CAN SEE AND THEN EVERYTHING WITHIN 20-FEET RADIUS GETS HIT BY AN EXPLOSION OF FIRE THAT DEALS 8D6 FIRE DAMAGE, HALF ON A SUCCESSFUL DEXTERITY SAVE! HIGHER LEVELS FROM WHICH YOU CAST? MORE D6S, 1 PER EACH! GREATEST SPELL IN THIS STUPID GAME! DO NOT LISTEN TO THESE FOOLS! THEY’LL TRY TO TELL YOU THERE IS MORE TO MAGIC THAN A FIREBALL! TO WHICH I SAY, BRAVE WORDS FOR SOMEONE WITHIN THE FIREBALL RANGE!

7th Level Warlock gets to pick another Eldritch Invocation and we can change our Eldritch Spear to another one, since there are two 7th level ones we want. Ghostly Gaze lets you once per short or long rest see through solid objects, it is a concentration effect. Trickster's Escape allows you to cast Freedom of Movement on yourself without expending a spell slot once per long rest. For 1 hour, no concentration, you or another creature ignores different terrain, no magical effects can reduce your speed, you cannot be paralyzed or restrained by magic and you can escape nonmagical restraints by spending 5 feet of movement and underwater you are not impaired when moving or fighting underwater.

ALTERNATIVE: New Warlock Eldritch Invocation from Unearthed Arcana, Investment of the Chain Master, allows you to sacrifice some of your own power and instead have Streaky the Supercat be an actual cat - when you cast Find Familiar you can grant the familiar flying or swimming speed of 40 feet, removes its need to breathe, makes their attack be treated as magical weapons and lets you substitute your Spell Save Difficulty instead of theirs whenever they force a creature to make a saving throw.

8th level Warlock gets Ability Score Improvement, increase your Charisma.

On both 7th and 8th levels you gain two new Spells and access to 4th level spells.

Elemental Bane forces a Constitution saving throw on a target and if they fail up to 1 minute they lose resistance they had to a chosen type of damage, say fire, and take an extra 2d6 of damage whenever they’re taking that type of damage. Sadly it is concentration.

Wall of Fire is also Concentration, it creates a 60 feet long, 20 feet high ad1 feet thick wall or a 20 feet in diameter, 20 feet high, 1 feet thick ring of fire, dealing 5d8 fire damage to all creatures within the area, half on a successful Dexterity saving throw, and any creature that ends its turn within 10 feet on the side of the wall you choose takes 5d8 fire damage, with no save. It’s a bonus spell from Celestial...

..AND FIEND WARLOCK! THESE ARE GOOD SPELLS, I SHALL STICK TO THEM!

Well, I will not. Forget these two, let’s make something more...creative.

Blight kills the moisture within the target, dealing 8d8 necrotic damage, half on a succesfull Constitution save.

Evard’s Black Tentacles turn a 20-foot square you can see into a difficult terrain and any creature that starts or finishes its turn on it must succeed a Dexterity saving throw or take 3d6 bludgeoning damage and be restrained. If it already is restrained it doesn’t get the save, just the damage. On concentration, spell lasts up to 1 minute. How do you explain this one? Your Supergirl is just so twisted, of course! It doesn’t make sense but...does it need to?

How Supergirl probably looks casting Wall of Fire...or any fire-based spell we gave her

Back to Paladin for the rest of the build. 6th level Paladin gets Aura of Protection - as long as you’re conscious you and your allies within 10 feet add your Charisma modifier to their saving throws.

At 7th level you get a new Spell, Aid lets you choose 3 friendly creatures within 30 feet and strengthen their resolve, granting them 5 extra hit points for the next 8 hours + 5 more per each higher level of the spell you cast this from. No concentration and hit points can get over their maximum number, meaning you can cast this before combat.

You also gain Sacred Oath Feature

Mighty Deed is Oath of Heroism feature that you can use once per turn whenever you score a critical hit or reduce a creature to a 0 hit points, you can choose a number of creatures you can see up to your Charisma modifier. You can either decide to restore 1d6+your Charisma modifier of their health points or force them to succeed a Wisdom saving throw or be frightened of you until the start of your next turn.

I can do it better. Oath of Conquest’s Aura of Conquest that extends 10 feet from you and makes it that every creature that is frightened of you within the aura, their speed is reduced to 0 and every time they start their turn within the aura, they take psychic damage equal to half your Paladin level.

OATH OF VENGEANCE MAKES YOU THE RELENTLESS AVENGER! YOU CAN NOW MOVE TO INTERCEPT THE GUILTY’S ESCAPE! WHEN YOU HIT A CREATURE WITH OPPORTUNITY ATTACK, YOU CAN MOVE UP TO HALF OF YOUR SPEED AS A PART OF THE SAME REACTION AND WITHOUT PROVOKING OPPORTUNITY ATTACKS YOURSELF!

9th Level Paladin gains access to 3rd level spells. Oath of Heroism AND OATH OF VENGEANCE gains you two following spells

Haste lets you choose yourself or a creature you can see within the range. Up to 1 minute, requiring Concentration to maintain, the spell doubles the target’s speed, grants +2 to AC, advantage on Dexterity saving throws and a bonus action that can be used to make an extra attack action, dash, disengage, hide or use object. When the spell ends, the target cannot take any actions for a turn.

Protection from Energy is a Concentration spell up to 1 hour of duration, granting resistance to acid, cold, fire, lightning or thunder damage.

Yeah, Oath of Conquest doesn’t get these two. We’ll pick Bestow Curse, another of the Concentration spells lasting up to 1 minuter or until a Remove Curse is cast. The target must succeed a Wisdom saving throw or have to suffer one of the effects: disadvantages on all saving throws or ability checks of chosen ability score, disadvantage on attack rolls against you, being dealt extra 1d8 necrotic damage from all your attacks and spells or having to succeed a Wisdom saving throw at the beginning of its every turn or be forced to waste it doing nothing.

Blinding Smite is another Smite on Concentration spell that you cast and it works with your next attack within 1 minute, dealing extra 2d8 radiant damage and forcing a Constitution Saving Throw or be blinded until the rest of that 1 minute duration.

10th Level Paladin gets Aura of Courage, making you and friendly creatures with 10 feet of you immune to being frightened as long as you’re conscious.

11th Level Paladin gets improved Divine Smite, dealing extra 1d8 radiant Damage on using a Smite. You also get one more spell slot so grab an additional Spell - Crusader’s Mantle. Another Concentration, up to 1 minute, it makes you radiate an aura that boosters the courage of your allies, making them and you deal 1d4 additional radiant damage on all weapon attacks.

Our Capstone is 12th Level Paladin and an Ability Score improvement. You should have maxed your Charisma by now, so boost Strength.

So here we are at the end, with a Celestial Pact Warlock 8/Oath of Heroism Paladin 12. Let’s see how valid this build is. First of all, you have multiple ways to deal with additional damage and it is damage of various types, so you are always prepared and Warlock Spell Slots can be burn for Smiting and be regained on short rest. Warlock Cantrips work well with a large number of Concentration-requiring spells, meaning you aren’t reduced to just punching things while maintaining effects of your spell. You’re also very mobile, having multiple abilities to ensure you will not be impaired on the battlefield. Finally, you have multiple means to revigorate your allies in combat, meaning you can be the inspiring hero whose heroism and smile often let your friends gain the second wind in time of need.

On the downsides, your base damage is 1d4, we didn’t max Strength, meaning you kinda relly on your Smiting and extra damage. While you should have a decent amount of Hit Points, you didn’t max your Constitution and many of your spells require concentration, meaning you often may have it broken and that you have to choose which of Supergirl powers you need at the time. Your number of spell slots is also limited and even with Warlock Slots, there will be the times you will just burn out of them with your reliance on Smite. Finally, while you have a variety of damage types to deal, the majority of them is Fire and Radiant, meaning you will run into enemies that have resistance or outright immunity. And sadly our ability to use Cold Breath is limited and mostly relies on low-level spells.

THIS IS AN EVEN BIGGER PROBLEM WITH MY BUILD! TOO MANY FOOLS THINK THEY CAN HIDE FROM EVERBURNING FIRE!

My build meanwhile is more...controlling. You can multiple abilities to mess with your enemies’ minds, threaten or incapacitate them. You will control the battlefield and sow fear and terror among your enemies...or should I say, victims? Sadly, these abilities grant Wisdom saving throws. So stay away from antagonizing Druids and Monks, they’re no fun anyway.

Overall Supergirl is a strong and surprisingly versatile ally that will make a great addition to many teams. Just remember you cannot save the world alone and get yourself some good allies before you go to save the day.

For example. D&D can make that team actually come true.

ALTERNATIVE:  Since a new Unearthed Arcana came up with an option for Paladin to pick Unarmed Fighting Combat Style, here is a quick guide how to run Kara using it:

When you take your first level of Paladin, Pick Unarmed Fighting. it makes your fists deal 1d6+ your Strength modifier in damage and if you use both hands to fight it changes to 1d8+STR modifier. In addition, whenever you successfully grapple a creature you can deal it 1d4 damage and later whenever you deal damage to a grappled creature, you can add a 1d4 to the roll.

On 4th level replace Tavern Brawler with War Caster, which lets you make Concentration rolls with an advantage and allows to cast spells even when you’re holding something in both hands, like a weapon.  

Spend the rest of your Ability Score improvements increasing Strength and Charisma so that you round them up.

As a result, Kara will be squishier and have worse Concentration checks but she should mitigate the latter with an advantage on those checks and what she loses in defense she gains in the offense.

You have any criticism or advice? Share it and be sure to check the masterpost for my other Builds.

- Admin

[breadclubrising]

I am hearing news about Kota Ibushi actually signing with NJPW (instead of being a free bird)... does this mean... he will finally be the heavyweight champion?

OFFICIALLY, it’s still a rumor right now—we haven’t heard an official announcement from NJPW. So, because Kota… I’m going to wait until something official is announced. Keep in mind that he did the entire Cruiserweight Classic and was in NXT during that time, but still hadn’t for-sure signed in time to win the tournament. He then continued to be in NXT for a couple of months, even though he didn’t commit, and WWE kept offering him shorter contracts, better schedule flexibility, and more money. According to him, after all of that, he physically attended a secret hotel room meeting with WWE for the sole purpose of telling them no, never, and that his mind would not be changed by any money or promises they could make.

I’m not even really saying the rumor is dubious—I think it’s likely he has done exactly as he says—I’m just saying I’m gonna wait for actual official confirmation with this guy.

That said, I’m going to write a long thing about his character arc. It’s what I do.

Let’s start with the obvious: Kota Ibushi is really fucking good at wrestling. He could show up on the doorstep of any wrestling promotion in the world and be welcomed with immediate upper-card booking, open arms, and a fuckton of money. He’s just that good. He’s pretty much universally admired by other wrestlers and wrestling critics. Very few people would argue with you if you called him one of the greatest pro wrestling talents of all time.

And if breathtaking natural ability isn’t enough (it’s not), Ibushi has all the magnetism, star power, and understanding of emotion needed to make a wrestling superstar. Sure, it often gets missed or overlooked in light of his talent, and yeah, sometimes he really sucks at promos. Still, you don’t get to be ace of a company like DDT on flips alone. Don’t let the dumb jock act fool you: he’s the whole package. Let no one tell you otherwise.

In sports, a reputation like Ibushi’s usually comes with a small museum’s worth of titles, trophies, and accolades. But Ibushi doesn’t have the trophy case to back up the praise he’s earned. And that’s because in most sports, talent usually translates directly to winning and becoming legendary—but not wrestling.

Because, of course, in wrestling, the outcomes of matches are not decided by talent, they’re chosen based on the best interests of the wrestling promotion. Ibushi has been a freelancer since 2016, which neatly coincides with when he stopped winning stuff. 

Because he’s just that good, he’s gotten far better booking than most freelancers could ever dream of. But he hasn’t gotten serious pushes, because no matter how talented someone is, it ultimately doesn’t make good business sense for a wrestling promotion to have a champion who only works for himself, to invest money and reputation in someone who can’t—explicitly will not—promise your promotion a return on your investment. Which is why Ibushi’s trophy case is so empty compared to his reputation.

He obviously knows all these dots are connected. Titles never really mattered to him, back when he had titles more often. Now, he knows the reputation he has, and he knows that all he has to do is want to be the best in the world. Ibushi doesn’t love making choices, but this one he cannot avoid: achievement or freedom. His dazzling talent grants him access to both, to an extent that’s simply not available to others. And he’s actually had a really impressive amount of cake-and-eating-it-too as a freelancer; much more than most could hope for.

But since 2016, he’s deliberately chosen freedom, knowing that the cost is achievement. 

The truth is, when you’re as talented as Kota Ibushi is, sometimes your gifts feel like a burden. No matter what you want out of life, your talent is so obvious and striking that it demands you account for what you’re doing with it, both to yourself and to other people. Your talent is bigger than whatever it is that your heart wants, and you will be obligated to answer for that, to yourself and others, constantly—wherever you go and whatever you do. And that will remain true even if fulfilling your potential has a cost you don’t want to pay.

Ask Kota Ibushi. His amazing talent meant that NJPW and DDT were both willing to give him full-time contracts at the same time; he was the first wrestler to have two home promotions. Someone as good as he is almost has to accomplish unprecedented things like that, right? No one else can, and no one else would be allowed to even try—who else would be worth that level of accommodation; two promotions both willing to not only have a guy who spends half his time making money for a rival promotion, but both push him as far as he wants to go, and work their scheduling so he could successfully maintain two schedules? And even before that, he won Best of the Super Juniors as an outsider. He was the first. He was the only one. He did that. 

Buuut, the cost of fulfilling that amazing potential was his mental and emotional wellbeing. For one, it meant he had to give up one of the things that made him happiest—being a Golden Lover. For another, his life was not his own. He later said that he learned that even one schedule is incredibly draining for him, and that one of the hardest things was how little emotional investment he was able to give his performances and the storylines happening in each promotion. 

His surgery in late 2015, the reason he left both DDT and NJPW, was for a cervical disc injury he’d been living with for a while. It probably sucked, but it was also a way out of his contracts, because the bigger and more grindingly burdensome issue was that he was horribly emotionally and mentally burned out from answering to two promotions. 

In other words, to Ibushi: dismal failure. Leaving your job for mental health reasons in Japan is not a thing. He felt like he just couldn’t hack it, didn’t deserve the acclaim he receives. In his mind, he’d failed his fans and critics, and exposed himself for being the flaky, emotionally weak weirdo he always saw in the mirror. When he was well enough to wrestle again, he left Japan, a bit humbled and humiliated. If being exceptional in Japan didn’t work, maybe just one contract, but with the world’s largest and most famous wrestling promotion, home to the majority of history’s greats, would be a way to live up to all of that potential.

And just like NJPW and DDT did, WWE was willing to make accommodations they rarely make for anyone else—a major reason WWE organized the Cruiserweight Classic was to try to sign him. Not only did they famously beg him as I noted above, they offered him contract flexibility—WWE does not do that; the vast majority of WWE contracts are quite exclusive. They let it be a pretty open secret that Kota Ibushi was definitely going be the ace and crown jewel of their new Cruiserweight division. And when he didn’t sign in time to win the tournament he was going to win (if he’d signed), they didn’t tell him to fuck off. They let him stay as long as he was willing to entertain the idea of signing. 

But he ran up against the same problem: he doesn’t do well in a tightly-controlled, heavily scheduled environment. So he told WWE no, definitely not, never. And he went home, forced to come to terms with the fact that some people can handle the schedules that come with a full-time contract, but for him, it’s too emotionally taxing. 

So this perception of him that’s out there, that ‘haha that’s our fantastic dolphin son, what a ~free spirit,’ is a little unfair.  Dude isn’t a freelancer because he’s flighty, unserious, or afraid of commitment. He’s a freelancer because he quickly gets burnt out when he has to follow someone else’s rules/schedule, and his talent gives him the privilege of naming his price. It’s not that he just doesn’t feel like being serious, it’s that he hates his life when he has the kind of commitments that come with a full-time contract. When he talked about saying no to WWE, he said “I don’t wrestle for the money anyway.” That didn’t mean I don’t care about money because I love wrestling, it meant I literally can’t function as a person if I start to think of wrestling as the thing I do to get money.

That means that when he came back to Japan in late 2016, he did so on his own terms, because that was the only way he could. His solution to the problem of burnout and emotional health has been controlling his own time; deciding where, how much, and how he works (he has a school now apparently, and he does stunt work on the side too). 

But now, as the grim march of time eventually comes for all of us, his back is to the wall and he knows: if he ever wants the titles to match his talent, if he wants wrestling history to remember him as something other than a could-have-been, it’s now or never. 

So, it’s now. He’s clenching his teeth, apologizing to Tana, going back into Serious Wrestling Star mode. He even said last night that he’s still trying to get his feet back under him, and IMO that’s because he’s still readjusting to being Professional Working Guy again. ‘Cause that’s who wins titles, and he knows that now.

Back in baby Golden Lover days, Kenny looked at Kota and saw all the things he wasn’t: natural, easy talent, and the booking to match it. Kenny was jealous and felt lesser; he worried he’d be a footnote in the history of Kota Ibushi. So when the Golden Lovers broke up, Kenny chose achievement, and achieve he did. Now, Kenny has a legacy: a huge pile of best bouts, worldwide fame, a name that will never be forgotten by wrestling history. The only titles he hasn’t held in NJPW are the NEVER Openweight Championship and the Heavyweight Tag Team Championship.

Now, Kota looks at Kenny and sees someone who didn’t have the burden of obvious easy talent, but did do all of the things you’d expect of someone who did. He’s not jealous like Kenny was, but he thinks: what have I done with what I’ve been given? Kota hasn’t held a Heavyweight singles title in NJPW. Kenny’s had all of them. Kota feels overshadowed now, irony of ironies.

Now, Kenny’s choosing freedom, and Kota’s choosing achievement. But it’s not a simple swap, because there’s a third element here: happiness. Both Golden Lovers are quite obviously happiest when they’re together. The first time they were apart, they both tried to fill the void where happiness belonged; Kenny with achievement, Kota with freedom. Then, they came back together, and happiness was so important to Kenny that in the end, when he won the biggest prize, he managed to tell a story in which all that he sacrificed and fought for was ultimately, distantly, secondary in importance to being happy. 

Now they’re apart again, but don’t mistake it for the same story. Before, they thought they could replace happiness with personal fulfillment. They learned, after years of unhappiness, that they couldn’t. This time, the Golden Lovers aren’t under any illusions that they’re going to replace happiness with what they’re doing instead. Bittersweetly, the lesson is the same as before, but from the other direction: personal fulfillment isn’t compatible with happiness right now. Now, both of them are setting their sights on accomplishment, but it seems pretty clear that they’re doing so with the intention of being back together as soon as they can be. 

Serious Wrestle Guy is explicitly not personally happy. But Ibushi’s at his best when he’s happy, even if he’s not winning titles. Titles make him feel fulfilled, and he needs that, but being a Golden Lover makes him happy, and I think he’ll always return there, and so will Kenny.

In fact, I’d guess that’s why there’s been no announcement about Kota’s contract: even from the interview posted the other day, there were some allusions to the possibility of working with Kenny again in the future. I would imagine that NJPW is still trying to figure out their relationship with Kenny, and Kota’s still trying to figure out how involved he can be with AEW. (I think I just outed myself as a Golden Lovers Truther—yeah, I think it’s somewhat likely that they’re an IRL couple, and as many IRL wrestling couples do, they’re working on separate continents.) My guess is Kota’s contract won’t be final until those details are ironed out. I don’t think they’d do all that work to get back together only to close and seal the door on it.

Only time will tell, but Kota hasn’t changed: fundamentally, he is still motivated by happiness. It’s just that he was happy long enough to know he can have it forever if he wants it, but he only has a few more years to get the trophy case his talent demands, to be the Kota Ibushi he thinks wrestling history deserves.

[fordarkisthesuede]

At the Brink of Midnight - Chapter 9

*Arrives two days late with Starbucks* ‘Sup, guys! σ( ▼∀▼)σ These past 96 hours have somehow filled me with a weird chaotic energy, and I pumped out the longest roller-coaster of a chapter I’ve ever done in such a short amount of time!!! Thank you, whoever sent all the writing vibes my way!!!! ★>d(,,･ε´-,,)⌒☆ I’m sending out strong vibes to everybody in return! *May you get hit by the writing bug and have the opportunity and energy to completely translate your ideas to printed words!*

Buuut a big note before we get to the good stuff:  I realized too late that the original events of S2 take place in Spring. Like…April. I was writing all of this with the thought that S2 took place in fall; I mean, the characters can wear a leather jacket or a couple of layers comfortably, so I thought “yeah that sounds like early autumn”. Nope! So that means that for this story’s timeline, everything gets shifted into where it should be. On the downside, that means I had to go through and edit all the bits where it said “it was totally spring, you guys”. On the upside… IT’S NOW OCTOBER!!!!! THE SPOOKY SEASON THAT COMPLETELY FITS WITH WHAT’S GOING ON!!! And coincidentally, it’s my favorite time of the year, so I love writing about it even more! I get to add in a thing here and there about the spookiest time of the year, so I’ll have a nice list of what those little changes are uploaded here soon if you don’t feel like re-reading the whole thing. A re-read isn't necessary though, just keep in mind that the humid air of rainy spring in the city is replaced with chilling fronts and even more cloud cover than usual. Why am I bothering with this? Because I’m a stickler for keeping with canon as much as possible and I feel like an absolute fool for not remembering what goddamn time of year it was to begin with. (I mean, I went so far as to download all of TeamFourStar’s play-through because I watched it so often, you think I'd remember to go back and watch the very beginning once in a while…)

Anywho, thank you all again for your continuously loving support!!! 

♡~(ɔ ˘3˘)˘⌣˘ c)

Important Spoiler Tags: drugs (mentioned), swearing, canon-typical violence, electric shocks (mentioned), torture of flowers, flirting, almost an excessive use of emoji, crying, romantic dirty thoughts

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Read on Ao3 or continue below:

Chapter 9:  Grapevines

Bruce Wayne couldn’t remember the last time he’d conducted a meeting from his home office. It wasn’t as if he didn’t use it – the desk surface had hardly any dust settled on it and two empty coffee mugs he’d forgotten about on two different occasions just happened to be stacked behind the monitor – but it felt strange, like a lot of things did lately.

He knew part of the reason for that was watching houses down in the Batcave right now. Knowing he wasn’t alone in the house was comforting, but knowing there were two cops outside the Manor’s front door just waiting for a chance to grab his best friend-cum-houseguest was not, and knowing that they were both close to being thrown in hot water was even less so.

He figured the other reason he felt strange was because he was slipping back into his old habit as if it had never been shelved in the first place. He had time to kill before the video meeting started, so he’d been scouring for information on “Pam”, Jonathan Crane’s ‘old friend’.

There were a few Pamela’s in Gotham, but only one fit within Crane’s age-range and attended Gotham University at about the same time:  Pamela Isley, a forty-four-year-old former botanist with a record that ran the length of his arm. Theft, assault, threats, and attempted poisonings all done in the name of extreme environmentalism and social activism were sprinkled in her history before and after her days as a researcher, and according to GCPD records, she was now suspected of running her own drug-ring under the moniker of ‘Poison Ivy’. (Bruce found several recorded instances of people claiming to be Poison Ivy, most of whom were already arrested.)

Bruce would’ve wondered why on Earth she hadn’t been thrown in prison when she made a bomb-threat at a wealthy businessman several states away nearly a decade ago if he hadn’t seen her mug-shot from back then. At thirty-five, she looked every bit as beautiful as a top-billed Hollywood star, with natural orange-red curls cascading over her pale shoulders and ample bust in chemically-tamed waves, flashing the camera a come-hither stare that made it look like she was trying for a part in a high-budget porn flick rather than standing in front of a height chart for her criminal record. Pamela’s charges were mysteriously swept under the rug.

The latest photo he found of her reminded him a bit of those ‘cougar’ dating ads he’d seen – the older Pamela was blowing a kiss to the camera with a mocking look in her dark green eyes. Bruce glared at it. There was little doubt she was using people to cover for her constantly, and when she was in trouble, she managed to wriggle out of it with her looks.

Not this time. She was friends with Dr. Jonathan Crane, and that meant she wasn’t going to get out of this unharmed. The second his virtual meeting was over, Bruce was heading towards Toxic Acres, and hopefully the wounded Crane would still be there to see Batman’s fist hit his –

Bruce snapped out of his thoughts at the buzz of his phone. A message from the BatComputer…?

I’m bored :/

Bruce blinked down at the screen. John had found the emergency messaging system. Of course he had. He was just grateful that the encryption software on his phone was still up to date. Just what else did John poke his nose into down there…? (There was the chance that John would see files he shouldn’t, but Bruce kept those under a thumbprint encryption. He shouldn’t even entertain the thought.)

Stake-outs are usually pretty boring.

It wouldn’t be so bad if you were down here tho! :)

Bruce hovered his thumb over the keyboard, unsure of what to say. The feeling was kind of mutual, if he was being honest; having another person around on a stakeout would at least keep his mind wandering into the worsts of what-ifs and double-checking every last security issue…

No movement on either houses btw. Been reading Crane’s docs in the meantime but it’s DREADFUL!!! I feel like I’m reading a sleeping pill… =_=

You finish your WE stuff yet?

Meeting’s not for another 20 minutes. Been looking up stuff on Crane’s “friend”.

Oh??? :o Do tell!!!!

Bruce couldn’t help but smile at the enthusiasm.

Pamela Isley, former botanist w/ criminal rec., mostly extreme protest kind of stuff. Good chance she’s the head of a drug-ring that moved here a couple months ago; their leader goes by “Poison Ivy”.

They went to college together, but Pamela moved back here recently.

hMmMmm…. That means no burning the place down if we’re stuck! Bad fumes everywhere xP

Bruce focused on the word “we’re”. He hadn’t been planning on bringing John along. He wanted him safe, at home, where no one had a chance of seeing him and he wasn’t put in harm’s way…

Oh!!! You’ve got a bunch of sticky electro-shockers around - do you mind if I tinker with them? :3c pleeeeaaasssee?

What are you thinking of doing with them?

Making one BIIIIIG shock-bomb, of course! ;D I can wire them together so the shock spreads evenly in the space while it’s discharging.

Bruce reconsidered bringing John. He was still learning to curb his impulses, so being outside in a fighting environment would be a serious gamble, but... Maybe that could be their advantage, too. Bruce made a mental note to go dig out the spare bullet-proof vest from his closet’s secret panel.

You can do that?

I played around with making something like it before, but……well, you know.

Time + supplies for that project were low att. I figured I could always go back to it later anyway.

Bruce felt like his heart had deflated and swelled in such a short time that it hurt.

I mean I’m fine with throwing knives around too but I figured that would be less discrete ¯\_(ツ )_/¯

He’d been thinking of different methods of entering the “house”. Most of them featured a silent slip-in and as little combat as possible, but he knew that there would likely be some muscle around to stop any would-be intruders, and getting a quieter jump on them would certainly be helpful. He would certainly be lying if he said he wasn’t impressed that John had thought that far ahead even back then.

If you think you can get it done within 1.5 hours, then yes.

Ha ha ha with these supplies I can get it done in like 40 mins! >:3 just you watch!!!

Btw have you seen the news?

Not yet. Why?

I was on the morning edition! At least they used a good pic ;D

But also saw a guy getting fished out of the harbor. Your handy-dandy invasion software said he’s a registered Ryde driver.

I told you not to fiddle with that.

Sorry, but I only used it the once! Promise!!!

Bruce sighed through his nostrils.

Besides I thought you’d want to know. Think Crane stole his ride and dumped him by the docks? :v

Probably. I can get the plate from up here to verify. DO NOT TOUCH THAT PROGRAM AGAIN.

Yes sir ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Bruce wasn’t sure if that message was supposed to be flirtatious or mocking.

The incoming call from Iman Avesta stopped him from responding. He figured it had to do with John’s escape and the extra security added at Wayne Tower this morning, but why was she calling him now, rather than several hours ago?

“Iman?”

“Hey, Bruce. Hold on a sec – there we go, now we can both -”

“Bruce, what the fuck?” Tiffany asked over the line. “Are you at home right now?”

Bruce almost sighed at the attitude. “Yes, Tiffany, I’m at home, in my office.”

“Uh-huh. I keep getting alerts that your basement’s messaging system is being used. Care to explain that?”

Oh. Of course. He’d forgotten Tiffany had linked her phone to that, too. It’d just…been too long, he supposed. (She couldn’t read them, though, could she? He was fairly sure it didn’t give out mass-texts unless prompted.) “…where are you right now?”

Iman responded instead. “We’re in your second office.”

“…the line’s secure?”

“Of course.” Iman paused, and Bruce knew his new CSO was choosing her words carefully. “I’m guessing you have John Doe in the Batcave?”

“Yes.”

“Bruce, did you fucking break him out?” Tiffany asked with no shortness of impatience.

“I rescued him,” Bruce said firmly. “I know what you’re thinking, and I have a pretty good idea of what you’re going to say, but listen:  I had no choice but to take him with me. One of the doctors working at Arkham has gone rogue – he’d been doing experiments on patients, and I have a feeling he’s going to continue them on civilians. I need to find him before then, and John has been helping me.”

“Helping…? You’re not bringing him in the field with you?” Tiffany said disbelievingly. “After that psychopath almost killed us?”

Bruce could still see Joker running at Tiffany, knife in hand, his psychotic breakdown in full force. He could still see him being smacked against the railing, sheer madness played over his long, bloody face as he desperately fought to stab what was his hero.

But John and Joker were as much the same as Bruce and Batman were, and they were constantly changing.

The Joker in the Batcave wasn’t the same one from Ace Chemicals.  

“I know what John did,” he answered, trying to breathe even as something wanted to hitch in his throat, “and I know how far he’s come since then. I know you both regret-”

“No, I’m not listening to this right now,” Tiffany scowled, her voice fading in the middle her sentence like she was leaving the room. “Talk some sense into him.”

Bruce heard Iman’s voice call after her, and then nothing for a beat.

Iman sighed. “I’ll talk to her. But Bruce,” she started seriously, “Tiffany isn’t the only one worrying about you. Six months can’t possibly cure everything wrong with a man whose spent his life in an asylum.” He could practically hear her chew over her phrasing. “I need to know… If John goes too far – if he shows signs of regressing…or just becoming more volatile – I need to know you’re going to put your foot down.”

“I’m more than capable of handling him, Iman.”

“Please, Bruce, I’d rather not have to pull you off another broken pipe lodged in your kidney.” She paused, and Bruce let her continue, feeling the scar in his side twinge at the painful memory. “I know you care a lot about him,” she resumed in a softer tone, “and I know you trust him. But if you doubt him at any time, you need you to step back and re-evaluate your choices. I don’t want him to regress back into the Joker.”

That was a different Joker, Bruce wanted to say. He knew that wouldn’t sound the way it should. “I promise I won’t let that happen.”

“Good to know,” Iman replied, sounding somewhat relieved. “This doctor you’re hunting – is there anything we can do to help?”

Bruce shot a look at the clock in the corner of his monitor. He didn’t have as much time left as he would’ve liked before his virtual meeting started. “Tiffany can fill you in a bit, I had her help searching Arkham’s records before. Can you run a plate for me? I think Dr. Crane is running with a stolen car; I’ll send you the details in a bit.”

“Sure. We can check traffic cams for it, too, if you’d like.”

“If you would. And the second I have anything concrete on Dr. Crane, I’m sending Tiffany the details – I need her pull as Oracle to get the word out to the GCPD before anything happens. They’ll listen to their number-one informant more than a vigilante coming out of retirement.”

“…you’re…?”

He could almost see the shock in her face. They’d had a short discussion about his alter-ego when he decided to quit the first time; she’d been incredibly understanding about the whole thing. It was almost as if she’d seen it coming.

“Are you sure?”

He was as sure. She didn’t know about the instincts broiling underneath his surface every day. She didn’t know he never really stopped being half of himself. She wouldn’t know or really understand that he just shoved it all down and aside like he did so much else just to get through things. “I don’t have any other options at this point.”

“…you know you can count on us if you need the help.”

“Of course I do.”

“Right. Well, in the meantime we’ll keep the fort over here running as smoothly as possible.”

“Thank you. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Good luck.”

The line went silent, and Bruce pulled his phone away, catching a glimpse of three unread messages.

Sorry, buddy, I was just kidding around, you know? Ha ha

Bruce???

Hello???????

Sorry, had a phone call and couldn’t reply. It’s fine.

Seconds ticked by, and Bruce began changing out of his black t-shirt and into his button-down. It wouldn’t do to appear as a CEO in anything less than a proper suit. He could leave the jeans on, at least.

“Oh! Uh…sorry, Bruce…”

He felt his heart stop for a second. That was definitely John’s voice, even though it crackled slightly from the speakers. The monitor didn’t show anything out of the ordinary. John must have been using the spy-camera feature on the Batcomputer; it was linked to most the devices in the house, and Bruce’s webcam was no exception. He’d almost forgotten it had a loudspeaker function, too.

“I didn’t realize you were…um, changing.”

Bruce glared at the webcam’s lens. “John, what did I tell you about fiddling with the Batcomputer?”

“…sorry. I was worried when you didn’t answer me.”

He sounded genuine, at least. Bruce could easily picture him running upstairs to find him, if there wasn’t a chance he would’ve been seen. “I answered you a minute ago. I was on a call with Iman,” he stated plainly, fixing the buttons on his sleeves.

“…oh, ha ha, there it is! Uh, I guess I’ll just…go, then…”

Bruce almost questioned why John was sounding nervous and distracted, but it wasn’t until he saw the webcam light wink off again that he realized his shirt was wide open, the scars littering his torso half on display from the waist up.

Thankfully, no one was around to see Bruce bury his face in the palm of his hand for a moment, feeling like his face was on fire from first and second-hand embarrassment.

It didn’t last long. Bruce took a few deep breaths as he fixed himself up, and dialed into the meeting with a fixed expression of calm, firmly ignoring the heat that had settled in his stomach that threatened to go lower at the thought that John was bound not to forget any of that.

Driving the Batmobile in full gear again was certainly something else. Bruce felt the weight of the Kevlar body armor press against his limbs as he sped down Gotham’s twisting alley streets, no one any the wiser that the Wayne’s red sports car was hiding Batman behind it. The city’s CCTV signal was scrambled with the flick of a switch as he came into driving distance of the alley’s camera, making him almost untraceable.

He’d given the Honda Accord a head-start; it couldn’t go nearly as fast as the Batmobile, and Bruce had to find a spot to safely change before going to go pick John up from his drop-off point, and the post-working-hours traffic had already gotten its usual early start. It was a slower drive than he’d like it to be, even with Bruce’s shortcuts.

The setting sun was completely obscured by a dark overcast. It made the orange streetlamps glowing over the decorations sitting here and there in windows and doors even more energetic, like every corner of Gotham was slowly growing with the energy of Halloween.

Bruce clicked the communicator in his cowl. “John, are you there yet?”

Silence for a few seconds, and then a rustling noise. “Sorry, I had to take this off for a bit. What?”

“Are you there yet?”

John giggled slightly. “Oh, yeah, I’m here. Just waiting on you, pal.”

He was already at the meeting point? How did he get there so fast? “You put everything back where it was supposed to be?”

“No, I stripped the seats and threw everything into the garbage,” John grumbled with dripping sarcasm. “Of course I did, it’d be rude not to put Jerry’s stuff back. What do you take me for?”

“…I’m just making sure you didn’t forget anything.”

“I didn’t.” There was a loud slurping noise, like the last of a liquid being sucked from a straw.

“John, where are you right now?”

“In the alley, waiting for you.”

“Did you make a stop?”

John giggled, a little louder, but not at all nervous. He was enjoying himself. “What can I say? Going out on the town with you like this makes me thirsty,” he said with a strange purr. “Besides, no one bats an eye at me when I look like this anyway.” He paused. “Well, no, I’ve gotten some eyes on me, but, uh, I think they’re more the appreciative type. I guess ZZ Top was kinda right about the sharp-dresser thing.”

Bruce felt his brows knit together. “You’ve always looked sharp,” he said truthfully, turning down a narrow alley.

“Yeah, but not thousand-dollar-suit sharp. There’s a difference! Plus I think this bullet-proof vest makes me look a little bulkier than I actually am.”

Bruce spotted him leaning against the graffiti-covered wall, a Burger Lord cup in one hand and a plastic orange bag in another. Just how much time did Bruce lose while he was changing?

John tossed the drink in the dumpster and practically jumped into the car, shoving the orange bag behind the driver seat and slamming the door shut as Bruce switched off the communicator. He took one look at Bruce’s questioning glower and gave a nervous sort of grin. “Hey, don’t look at me like that, there’s something in there for you, too.”

Bruce almost asked what, but decided that a lecture on keeping a low profile and not taking money from his house’s various hiding spots would have to wait. (Though he supposed whatever John got wasn’t expensive. He was quite frugal, and it wasn’t as if Bruce couldn’t afford to buy John whatever he wanted anyway.) He concentrated instead on heading down the twisting path towards Toxic Acres. At least the traffic over there was a hell of a lot lighter.

“Hey, when you drove me to the Batcave, did you go in fourth gear, or third?”

He wasn’t sure why he asked, but he honestly couldn’t remember. He just recalled putting his foot to the floor and keeping his eyes on the road, occasionally reaching over to check John’s pulse. “I wasn’t really paying attention to that; I concentrating more on driving as fast as possible.”

“Oh – so you didn’t know you could punch the shift down into third whenever you wanted? It was so fun! I can say I literally punched it out of the Batcave!” He laughed. “I’m guessing you can’t do that in this car?”

“…I’ve got paddle shifters.” They were starting to travel into the more deserted road leading into Toxic Acres. Bruce took a sharp turn onto the hill with the broken Do Not Enter sign, and checking that no one was behind him, flipped the switch to shift the car into armored plates and pressed the wheel-paddle for a lower gear.

They flew down the road with a whirring whine of the engine, John’s notorious excited laugh mixing with it, and Bruce allowed himself to smile a little at it, knowing his own little joyful thrill wouldn’t last very long.

John was soon tapping his fingers together in some kind of rhythm as they passed by more empty houses, Bruce moving a little slower to keep his eyes out for trouble. Sitting close to the river on the outskirts of the city, they were originally meant to be a long neighborhood for the middle and upper class to build their lives, but as the unemployment and crime rates rose, the place became abandoned. It didn’t help that the piping structure to carry water there had been faulty, making either lead poisoning or unfiltered dirty water a prominent problem and giving the section of Gotham its nickname.

“How do we know which place is the botanist’s?” John asked, his green eyes scouring the houses in front of them.

“I sent out another drone earlier for some aerial shots. There’s a place with camouflaged green-houses in the back on Aster Place.”

“Wow, you did that before I left? That was fast…”

“It was a quick job. I’m not picking up the other drone until later.”

They turned the corner onto Aster Place; the road would dead-end in a while, but Bruce knew the house wouldn’t be situated at the end.

“Oh, there’s the spot Jackie got shot at!” John pointed ahead. “I wonder if there’s a bloodstain left…!”

Bruce tightened his grip on the wheel. “We’re close.”

It was oddly quiet out there. There was no other sign of life in what was a hot-spot of criminal hide-outs. Bruce turned on the thermal vision in his cowl; a lot of the houses were actually empty for once.

Except for one. 1801 Aster Place. There were a group of people scattered around on the bottom floor and what appeared to be a lot of heat-lamps running on the top floor. If one of the people in the group wasn’t Pamela Isley, then she might have been holding up in the basement…

They left the Batmobile out of sight down the road, and Bruce and John moved swiftly behind the backs of the houses in the chilly night air, the taser bomb safely in John’s coat pocket; John was surprisingly quiet, only humming a familiar tune here and there. (Wasn’t it the theme from that old spy-thriller…?) Bruce managed to quiet him with a look, and John mimed locking his mouth shut and throwing the key away.

Two unknown people were standing in what used to be a kitchen; three more people were up in the front room of the house. There were no security cameras to be seen.  

“Stick close to me,” Bruce whispered, the modifier in his cowl deepening his voice. “We go in through the back window, take out the two in the kitchen quietly and throw the bomb up front so we can cuff the lot. If none of them are Ms. Isley, we find the basement.”

John gave him a thumbs up, pulling out the riot baton he had hidden away. (Bruce had still not remembered when he or Alfred bought that, but vaguely remembered stashing it in the towel cupboard with some other emergency gear. He wasn’t surprised John found it.)

The bathroom window’s locks weren’t difficult to break. They looked like they had been broken several times already. Bruce slid the insect screen up and slipped in through the thin opening feet-first, twisting his limbs just right to softly land on the floor. He had to help pull John through the rest of the way after he smacked his head on the bottom of the window; thankfully he hadn’t made any noise, but he did give Bruce a strange look as brushed himself off where Bruce had gripped his sides.

Bruce didn’t have time to think about it.

The two people in the kitchen stood in semi-darkness, watching through the patio windows with rifles leaning against the wall. There wasn’t so much a bare bulb to give off light. Bruce figured their eyes might have adjusted to the dark, and signaled John to follow as he crept up behind the two goons.

“I dunno, with all the hype surrounding episode four, you just know those guys are going to mess up somewhere. Remember when they decided to let Celestyne drop to his death back in season one?” The one with dreadlocks asked.

“Oh, come on, that was just to test the game’s limits. Besides, Celestyne couldn’t die; I don’t think Jane can, either,” the second person responded in a higher voice with a casual shrug.

“Dude, you know the game’s gonna make her a villain in the end, though, right? She might die…”

Bruce was ready. John was gripping the baton with a widening grin…

“Are you kidding me? They have her affection meter up so high I’m surprised the game doesn’t have a dating opt-”

Bruce slammed dreadlocked goon’s head into the wall just as the baton crashed down on the other goon’s skull, little smears of blood marking the plaster and paint with a satisfying crack.

John clutched the collar of the goon he’d struck, gripping the slightly bloody baton a little harder in his other hand. He seemed to be thinking.

Bruce took a zip-tie out and cuffed the goon’s hands behind their back, and wondered just what John was staring at until he’d turned the person around and caught a glimpse of them in the light of the window.

They were both women with little tattoos of vines creeping along the back of their necks.

If Bruce guessed right, those were ivy leaves on the vine. Poison Ivy had a loyal gang.

John zip-tied the wrists of the woman he’d struck and patted the part of her head that wasn’t wounded. “Sorry,” he whispered as if she would hear it. “Lauren’s ex,” John mumbled, gesturing to the woman on the floor as if he knew Bruce had raised his eyebrow at him.

Bruce simply swept onward, spying the door for the basement. There was a light on in the front room, and three women who looked like they could be professional boxers of different weight categories were sitting in different areas. One was sharpening a knife at the table, and another was cleaning a semi-automatic rifle as the third kept watch over a monitor showing security camera footage; three looked to be by the greenhouses (Bruce recognized the Foxglove variety growing in one under an opening in the glass, sitting next to something that looked primeval), and two were watching over the plants upstairs (marijuana, by the looks of it) and in the basement.

There was a figure in the last screen, working over a row of potted plants with low lamps. A zoom-in with Bruce’s lenses showed long red hair.

Bruce felt a hand on his shoulder, and John crept ahead him, the taser-bomb in hand: it looked like a mass of the sticky-bombs grouped together, colorful wiring connecting them all like some kind of net, and before Bruce could do or say anything, John threw it into the living room, where it tumbled into the middle of the floor.

The group began to shoot out of their seats in a second, and in the next the ball seemed to expand like a geometric toy, the wired tasers being thrown in the air with a flash before smacking people and surfaces alike as they discharged. All three people fell to the floor in trembling heaps, and John dashed out and started to cuff them, Bruce close behind.

The electric bombs were safe to touch now that they had fully discharged, so Bruce had no qualm about stomping on the lightly-burning sections of carpet underneath some of them to prevent any spread of fire as he pushed them aside. The bulkiest goon wasn’t quite down for the count; she was still conscious.

She yanked John off her fallen comrade by his shoulder and threw him into the table’s edge. Bruce threw a Batarang at her arm just as she was about to punch, and John gave a swift knee to her stomach as she flinched.

She fell to the floor with a louder crash and a grunt, pulling the Batarang out from her arm and letting it drop to the floor. “You fucker…” She said, glaring up at John before looking over at Bruce, her eyes widening as he approached with more Batarangs at the ready. ���B-Batman…?”

“Yup! He’s real,” John said playfully before smacking the side of her head with the baton. “And so am I,” he added with a growl. He decided to tie her wrists behind the nearest table leg. “I hate not being able to call myself Joker like this… Really sells it better.”

Bruce felt his heart twitch at the name. “You can call yourself that, if it helps,” Bruce said gently, tying the monitoring-station woman’s wrists together, “Just not to people’s faces.”

“Kinda defeats the point,” John grumbled.

Bruce shot a look at the security monitor – Pamela Isley didn’t seem to have heard anything. Still, precaution should be used. “Let’s go,” he said plainly, sweeping out of the room with a swish of his cape.

John tucked a hand into his pocket and followed.

The basement stairs were carpeted and quiet, but Bruce was careful to walk on the outsides rather than the middle. Spiders had clearly made themselves right at home in the damp corners of the walls, and he had to duck to avoid getting the tips of his cowl’s ears stuck in one of their webs. A soft sort of click was heard behind his back, and Bruce figured John had gotten out his grappling gun.

Pamela Isley was bent over a row of exotic-looking orchids posed under heat lamps, dabbing something into the center of a blue orchid’s petals. Bruce saw several troughs full of hallucinogenic mushrooms sitting on the other side of the wall.

“There you go, my darling,” she cooed in a honeyed voice, acting like she was carefully painting the center of the flower, “You’ll soon be the belle of the ball…”

Bruce eyed the electrical box on the other side of the room. It wouldn’t do to drown the place in darkness; he’d be able to see, but John wouldn’t. The best bet was to tackle and restrain her.

Or…

Bruce took out his own grappling gun, and aimed it at Isley’s collar. One click, and it snagged her shirt with practiced ease.

“What the-?!”

Pamela Isley was suddenly dragged yelping through the air at an angle, smacking hard into one of the tables and spilling several unusual potted flowers to the floor.

Bruce grabbed her and threw her to the concrete floor, standing over her with several Batarangs in his hand as John cackled beside him.

“Jonathan Crane,” Bruce growled out, “Where is he?”

Pamela Isley sat up, shock written all over her face as she processed exactly what happened – it quickly morphed to a steely stare. “Batman,” she said slowly in a sweet voice, “I thought you were an urban legend,” she continued, wiping the corner of her mouth where a dribble of blood leaked out. “Do you always treat a lady this way?”

Bruce dragged her up by her collar and threw her against the wall, keeping her at arm’s length. “I know he bought plants from you today. Tell me where he is.”

“Or what?” She taunted, smirking widely at him. “You think I haven’t been knocked around by men before? I’ve been in whole worlds of hurt, honey.”

There was the distinct sound of the grappling wire rushing through the air, and then an enormous crash – John had taken out one of the mushroom tables, the fungi now breaking and bouncing against the floor it the scattered in the dirt.

“Whoopsie,” John hummed, a wide unnerving grin on his face, “butter-fingers.”

Isley looked rather taken aback, but the expression quickly warped into a mocking glare. “You think destroying my inventory is going to intimidate me?”

John shrugged, leaning back against a table and knocking over a several small tropical plants with a slide of his hand, shattering the clay pots and sending the plants scattering to the hard floor.

That definitely got her attention; her face paled slightly and there was tremble in her. “Stop that!”

Bruce glared at her, mentally thanking John for his quick thinking. “Tell me where Crane is and I’ll consider stopping him from tearing this place apart.”

Her dark green eyes glared at him with a slow-boiling dislike. “Let me go first.”

Bruce did a very quick once-over; she didn’t seem to have a gun holster on her, and she was definitely a lighter build than the rest of her gang. Knives were still a possibility. He decided to let go, keeping a Batarang between his fingers just in case as he stepped just out of her reach.

Pamela dusted off her green turtleneck. “I don’t know where he is, and I don’t care. He bought a few of my flowers and left,” she said, crossing her arms.

John laughed, fingering the leaves of the blue orchid she’d been attending. “With a hole in his shoulder? You didn’t even offer a band-aid for that?”

Pamela was closely eyeing the plant in John’s hand. “What if I did?”

“I know he’s a friend of yours, Isley,” Bruce growled. “You’re the only one who could know what he’s planning.”

“I told you, I don’t know,” she stated, “and I don’t care. I’m not his mother.”

“I can see why you were paying such close attention to this one,” John hummed, fingering the petals with a gloved hand. “It’s so pretty. You put a lot of effort into keeping all these, huh?” He grinned at her, almost looking like his usual self. “It’s not just some financial scheme for you, is it?”

“Of course it is,” Pamela stared at him, trying to keep her voice level; Bruce noticed her eyes kept flicking slightly downward, like she was watching the plant. “I breed and sell rare plants to collectors on the side.”

“Oh good! So this won’t bother you!”

In a swift move, John cut the blossom off the stem with the bowie knife one of the group upstairs had been sharpening.

The blossom fell to the table, and Pamela Isley looked as if she’d seen a ghost.

John picked up the blossom. “Let’s see – she’s honest,” he said playfully, plucking a petal from the stem, “she’s not!” He pulled another.

“STOP IT!” Pamela shrieked, making to rush at him – Bruce pulled her back and pointed the tip of the Batarang at her face. She glanced at it fearfully, but then looked back at the flower being torn apart in John’s hand, and it looked like she was watching a child die before her eyes.

“Stop that,” Bruce instructed; John hummed and held it still. “Talk, or my partner and I crush every plant in this place.”

Isley stared at the flower in John’s hand. “I… I don’t know what he’s planning,” she said quietly, her voice cracking slightly. John only touched the tip of a petal before she spoke again – “But-! But I know… He’s building something. He didn’t say what, but he asked for some muscle - I hooked him up with some of Maroni’s old boys.” She shut her eyes and took a breath before glaring at John like he was a complete monster. “I hope the lot of them tears you limb from limb.”

Bruce forced Isley’s hands behind her back and zip-tied them. “Down on the ground,” he growled, pushing down on the top of her head. John pointed the grappling gun in her face with a smirk; a good insurance if she decided to try and elbow Bruce in the face.

Pamela shot them both a hateful glare as she knelt down, and it didn’t waver as her ankles were tied, too. “I won’t forget this,” she spat.

Bruce sent off a message to Tiffany regarding the coordinates of “Poison Ivy”’s headquarters from his gauntlet. He knew she’d get the word out before he could even get back in the car. “Tell it to the judge,” he taunted, leading the way out of the basement, not missing the sparkle in John’s eyes as he followed, the severed, torn orchid blossom having been carelessly thrown at Pamela Isley’s feet.

John gathered up the sticky bomb device before they hustled back to the Batmobile, and it wasn’t until the doors closed that he spoke, and when he did it was in a tone Bruce would almost call revered.

“So, what do we do now, partner?” He asked, a definite glow on his face.

“We go look at some of the Maroni gang’s old haunts and see if we can find anyone recently hired,” Bruce said, the voice modifier in his cowl now disabled. He glanced at his recent text messages:  one from Tiffany giving the ok on Poison Ivy, and another from Iman with the last known location of the stolen Ryde car. “After we look into the motels in the red-light district. Crane might’ve stayed there.”

John laughed to himself, but for once he didn’t share the joke; instead, he pulled out a packet of jerky from the plastic bag he’d brought along. “I knew this would be a long night,” he said cheerfully, as if he was really looking forward to the whole thing.

It was well past one in the morning when Bruce arrived back home through the front gate, the Batsuit stowed away and the plates flipped back to red. The two patrol officers were only somewhat surprised to see him arrive back. Naturally, they reported nothing new, since John had been dropped off in the Batcave first.

Sore muscles were nothing new to Bruce. The old strained climb back up to his bed was just as annoying as ever. He honestly didn’t feel like he wanted to sleep, but after following several empty leads over the city and bruising a few heads alongside John, he did admit that he was physically exhausted. He knew lying down was better than nothing, and he still had to go to work in several hours like he didn’t have a double life. At least he wasn't starving, thanks to John thinking ahead and buying him protein-and-carb-filled snacks.

He forced himself to go through his usual nightly routine, despite the temptation to just flop into bed and lay there. He looked at the bruises on his back and ribs from where John had struggled against him under the influence of Crane’s drug, and decided not to bother putting the bruise-away cream on them, nor on the new ones forming on his shoulder from where one of the former mobsters had hit him.

When he did finally collapse onto the master bed in nothing but his boxer-briefs, his brain still decided to chat away at him.

There were no leads as to who exactly Isley had hired for Crane. Bruce cursed himself for not trying to work the specifics out of her. At least he knew she was arrested for drug possession and manufacturing, as well as smuggling illegal fauna.

There was no word on the whereabouts of Jackie Lant. Her car was missing, and she’d called into work sick. Her apartment hadn’t been visited in the entire time Bruce had his drone’s eye on it, and neither Tiffany nor Iman had seen anything when they looked into Jackie’s friends’ places, either. All Bruce knew was that she hadn’t called an ambulance to fetch her from Toxic Acres, that she hadn’t been admitted to a hospital, and that there was no sign of her body either in the Acres or in the Gotham River.

She was alive, somewhere, and Bruce didn’t know what she was going to do next. He hoped she was just going to lie low until he caught Crane.

Jonathan Crane was nowhere to be found. His house was still empty. He didn’t seem to be staying at any of the motels – or hotels – around the red-light district or its surrounding streets, and nothing had come of a quick credit-card check. The Ryde driver the GCPD fished out of the River that morning had been shot in the head, and his car was so common that if Crane could’ve switched the license plate with anything and been completely invisible. They’d done a quick search of the warehouse district and found no sign of him there, either.

Bruce had the nagging feeling that he wasn’t going to find Crane until the doctor reared his head.

The billionaire rolled onto his stomach, shoving the anxious thought away as he pressed his cheek further into the plush black jersey pillowcase. There were a couple more places he could check tomorrow…

The bedroom door creaked, and Bruce’s eyes shot open, a second away from grabbing the billy-club under his pillow – he could see John’s messy hair in his dark silhouette.

“Bruce? You awake?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled.

“…can I come in?”

“Sure.”

Bruce noticed he closed the door behind him. Like he was planning to stay there.

That definitely put a new light onto the situation. A tense thrill was building in his shoulders as John deigned to sit on the edge of the mattress, his back to Bruce.

John was only wearing his Arkham-regulated pants, and the pale white of his bare skin almost shone in the light streaming in from the window. Bruce saw several bruises forming, one of which was from where he’d gotten grabbed by the shoulder by a Poison Ivy goon, and several more where he’d gotten knocked into.

“…I don’t think I can sleep in that guest room,” John sighed. “I mean, I tried my usual methods of sleep induction, but… It’s too big…and empty. I’m really not used to that.” His voice came out quieter and more contemplative. “I know it’s weird, but do you mind if I sleep in here?” He asked, turning halfway to look right at Bruce.

He felt trapped. If he said no, at the worst John would sulk, and at the best John wouldn’t get any sleep, and that was definitely worse for his mental health. John had mentioned before about how regular sleep cycles were supposed to help with that.

If he said yes, though, he’d know he was sleeping next to John, and there was the tiny worry in the back of his head that John might…try something. Or at least roll over too much.

“I promise I’ll stay over on my side,” John muttered, not tearing his eyes away.

“Alright.”

A sweet smile stretched on his face. “Thanks, Bruce. You won’t regret this.”

“If you keep talking, I might.”

John giggled as he slid beneath the covers on the far side of the bed, flopping one of the extra pillows down between them. “There – a no-roll barrier,” he said as if he had to explain the concept to Bruce.

It did not escape Bruce’s attention that John had decided to lie facing him and rest his arm on top of the pillow. John had pulled the covers up to just underneath his armpits; Bruce could see John's sharp collarbone and the lean wiry muscle of his chest. (Bruce made sure not to look for more than a moment's curiosity would allow.)

God, John’s face was actually his for the first time that whole night. Bruce had gotten used to seeing it in the natural makeup, but it was almost a relief to see it in its normal borderline-luminescent white. He looked like the man Bruce knew.

Acid-green eyes stared at him, flicking slightly and growing soft. “I…did want to talk to you about something, though. If it’s okay.”

“I suppose I’m still awake,” Bruce said in an attempt to lighten the tension in his arms. “Sure.”

“Do you ever…look back on something, and think about the worst thing that could’ve happened in that situation?”

He didn’t like to admit it, but he had. Usually in his worst moods, he’d think about how everything could’ve gone wrong. He’d usually think about everything he could’ve done better, too. “I try not to, but…sometimes, yeah.”

“I’ve been thinking about our fight a lot, lately,” John confessed, “At Ace. I used to think about it a lot when I got recommitted, but… You started visiting me,” he said softly, a light smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You remember when I told you I thought I’d messed things up for us?”

“Yeah.” It was Bruce’s first visit to John. He never forgot the sheer hopeful joy on John’s face upon seeing him. It was practically engraved in his memory.

“Ever since I started sessions with Crane, I kept going back to that night. He always tried to weasel my worst secrets out of me,” he said with a low scowl, “but when he started using that…toxin on me… I kept…thinking about what could have happened back there. I… I know I almost killed you.”

The sheer pain reading in John’s eyes was enough to make Bruce want to wrap his arms around him. It was beautiful and raw and honest, and Bruce found himself holding stock still, almost captivated by the expression.

“I kept seeing it. Over and over – it was like I could see myself throwing you over the railing or-or stabbing you, or...” Bruce saw tears welling up as John clenched the pillow between them. “I don’t want to come close to that again, Bruce,” he managed to say, his voice starting to hitch. “I don’t… I don’t want to kill you.”

Bruce threw his pride away and grabbed John’s hand in his. “You won’t.”

“You…you don’t know that,” John said with a light sob. “If…if I…go back to how I was… If I mess up...”

Bruce squeezed his hand, feeling the soft skin twitch under his fingertips. “I won’t pretend you’re perfect,” he said, honesty seeping through every word, “but I know you, John. I know you’re not going after Crane out of revenge, like you did with Waller. You reached out to me for help – but you were already trying to find a way to stop him without resorting to just stabbing him with the nearest shiv.”

John sniffed, a tiny twitch at the corner of his mouth like he was almost smiling. “Yeah…”

“So you’re not the same person you were then, are you?” He soothed with a supportive smile. “Even if you feel you are going backward, I know it won’t be to that same point.”

“Maybe…” he said with another sniff, looking more serious. “But Bruce, you know there are things I can’t ever really stop, right? The auditory psychosis is pretty much going to stay with me the rest of my life,” he started, clutching Bruce’s hand back, “and I’m not going to lie here and pretend my pulse wasn’t pounding a mile a minute when we were fighting those mobsters out there.” He sported a small knowing grin at him. “You know what that’s like, though, don’t you…”

(Yes, he did.)

“…you know what’s funny? I used to think one bad day could turn a person completely upside down.” John managed to stroke his thumb against Bruce’s knuckle, sending a little shiver over the skin, and Bruce wondered if John knew how incredibly intimate that gesture felt as he stared softly at him from the pillow. “Especially after Waller came to town… But…I never really thought things could go back up after it. I guess it just…takes a while.”

Bruce knew there was something right in John’s line of thinking. It only took one day to turn his life on its head, and he felt he knew, despite John having no memory of his life before Arkham, that something similar had happened to him. “Well…they say time heals all wounds.”

“How much passed before yours started to heal?”

He almost didn’t want to answer. The truth was that he wasn’t sure at all if he was ever going to fully heal, despite knowing what his parent’s really were. Maybe it was because he knew the terrible truth about them that they wouldn’t ever heal right. Maybe he’d always have that miserable note in the background of his life.

“…I’m still healing.”

“I didn’t say you stopped, buddy,” John chuckled with a knowing look. “Still…got good days and bad days, huh?”

“Feels like it, yeah.” Today…was definitely more of a mixed day. Looking at John across from him, though, all honest and open, and thinking back to how it felt to fight alongside him again, and investigate with him, with that warmth and instant familiar comfort between that never faded away, he almost felt like he wanted to call it a good day. “Today might have tilted things right-side up.”

John laughed, a genuine, humored one that was almost infectious. “Now I know I’m rubbing off on you; that sounds like something I’d say!”

John slipped his hand away and turned to lie on his back, still chuckling to himself. The warmth still burned in Bruce’s palm, and he found himself reluctant to pull his hand away at all.

John turned to him once more, an all-too-familiar affection shimmering brightly in the green depths. It pulled Bruce in and made him feel like he should inch close enough to feel the warmth and security it promised. “’Night, Bruce.”

“Goodnight, John.”

John turned over, leaving Bruce to stare at the bruises forming on his shoulders. There was the terrible temptation in his hands to shove the pillow between them aside and wrap his arm around the man’s middle so he could lean into that pale, battered back and bury his face in a head of soft, green hair.

There was a worse urge, one so vivid it almost made Bruce’s head spin – he could just reach out and touch the bruises, feather-light, and trail his fingertips down the curve of spine until it arched with a pleased shudder, and Bruce could follow that trail with his mouth as far as John would let him.

Bruce turned his head away, the memory of John’s lips on his coming to the front of his mind, and he shut out the mental image of repeating that kiss right then and there, telling himself that he really shouldn’t feel that way towards someone who desperately needed support, nor to his best friend who he’d left scarred in more ways than one, and certainly not someone who was both.

It had been a long time since Bruce shared a bed with someone, and far, far longer when he shared one with someone he didn’t have sex with.

He hoped that was all it was. Just the bed’s memory getting to him, and nothing else…

Notes:  Super-sexy-plant-person-in-her-late-twenties Ivy is OUT. Cougar-aged-mobster-botanist Ivy is IN! >:) 

I really wanted a different Ivy. I’m tired of the young, uber-sexy walking plant-human-hybrid that’s immune to all toxins and diseases; plants get diseases, too, and she’s so plant-like she should have some kind of physical humanizing weakness! It’s much more interesting to have a human who’s just built up an immunity and uses her babies for weapons and business; I kept her serious environmentalist trait, though, because while I dislike the anti-hero thing she’s got going on lately and would love to see her as a straight-up villain again, we do have to relate to her somehow, and her love of nature is always going to be a good part of her. Since Harley’s older, too, I figured it would be alright if they had a ten-year gap between them, so when Pam eventually goes to Black Gate one day, they’ll be pals. ;)

And Bruce you complete fool!!!! You should’ve kissed him!!!  Why do you do this to yourseellllfff? D:

I'm sorry it took so long, but as you can tell, I had a lot to work on, and I’m doing my best to write the next chapter as quickly as I can while this nutty energy in my brain is still fresh. I’m trying to keep with my weekly schedule, but I hope you guys are okay with having a gap day, as appears to be the habit now. ( ._. ) I mean, no one yells at me or anything for being late, but I aim to please with my work, and part of that is being consistent. 

I shall continue to try my hardest! (*｀へ´*) 彡3 See you next weekend!!!

[rorykillmore]

& then how does each character act when theyre like attracted to someone or crushing on someone, aka which one is the biggest gay disaster lol

you think there could be just ONE?

lucille i think would have a hard time developing feelings for anyone unless there was REALLY a lot of trust involved, and even then she might just... shut down about it for awhile idk. she just wouldn’t know how to handle approaching a relationship in a... safe, comfortable way, so once she REALIZED she had feelings for anyone it would take her awhile to work through them and trust them. so not a lot of... explicit or sappy stuff, if anything she might be kind of avoidant about it for awhile. that’s just where she is in her development rn, there’s still a lot she’s not good at handling.

glory... idk it depends on who the other person (dragon) is, but she’s so no nonsense that i think she would kind of inherently dislike admitting she has Softer feelings for someone. it’d be easier if it was someone like deathbringer, who she can kind of clash and banter with and sort of build a flirtation on that without having to admit too much or express stuff that’s more vulnerable. if she had feelings for someone she didn’t quite have that dynamic with, she’d be... idk. potentially a bit more clumsy with it. probably still deflect a lot with sarcasm but it’d be a bit more awkward because she’d have to attempt to not point it at them DIRECTLY,

kara is a bit, well, EMBARRASSINGLY obvious about it. she tends to get nervous when she’s crushing on someone -- she stumbles a lot more and gets kind of overly giggly and easily flustered. it’s just... not subtle when kara is developing feelings for someone.  that doesn’t necessarily mean she’d act on them right away (see james, because that situation was complicated, or rey because even though they both Knew how each other felt, there were a lot of factors that made acting on that immediately not such a great idea) but she usually doesn’t bother being too secretive because it’s obvious anyway. if she does want to pursue someone, sometimes she’ll do nice, cutesy things like getting them flowers or w/e

siobhan... smh. you would expect siobhan to be kind of a prickly asshole who’s constantly in denial, but actually when it comes to romance, she’s not savvy enough for that. when it comes to those kinds of feelings she tends to be so ???!!! because what?? genuine human connection??? and being at that kind of loss makes her sort of impulsive and clumsy; like she’ll act on her feelings because it seems like a good idea at the time and then she’ll REEL BACK and immediately decide it was a mistake and kind of go in unproductive circles so because part of her wants that connection, but the other part of her doesn’t want to trust anyone with that kind of vulnerability. winn was a pretty good example of all this stuff in action.

caitlin can be a liiittle bit oblivious, honestly. someone expressing romantic interest in her is probably something she wouldn’t notice unless it was VERY direct, and she also doesn’t examine her own feelings enough to realize that kind of thing until a bit late in the game, in most circumstances. but assuming she did that eventually or the other person was just, earnest and open about how they felt from the get-go, she’d be... well, idk. probably a little withdrawn? maybe even discouragingly closed off; definitely at least hesitant. romance, as it turns out, has never worked well for her, and she’s definitely not eager to leap back into it. but honestly it’s not really a priority for her anyway.

sara is, well, sara. she’s smooth as fuck. and also kind of a shameless flirt who doesn’t see much reason not to indicate that she’s attracted to someone when she is, although she’s also... conscious of the other person’s feelings and good at not coming on too Strongly. the hang-ups start to occur when she’s not just idly attracted or “crushing” but starts to become aware of more serious feelings, because THEN she doesn’t know what to do and kind of tends to mishandle things. sometimes that manifests in being sort of evasive the way she was with snart, and sometimes it manifests in just being a complete, uncharacteristically clumsy disaster like she was with ava. depends on her willingness to confront/pursue things, i guess. she still manages to be a little bit of a flirt even then though

bramblestar.... bears the curse of being a male character written by the erin hunters, and thus any time he’s attracted to a Woman™ (meaning female cat, but like trust me, that gets across the mood better) he is KIND of an oblivious idiot about it. he can’t read those kinds of hints really well and gets really ??? when he accidentally, inevitably makes a situation worse by saying something stupid. he likes things to be... obvious and upfront, and when they’re not he just gets kind of confused. thank god squirrelflight tolerates him.

heather... well, just look at her entire history on denny! she actually used to have a bad habit of when she was actually attracted to someone, picking on them a little more and giving them the Wrong kinds of negative attention, but on denny she’s grown out of that and it’s more just... idk. she knows the traditional cues and expectations and patterns to follow when it comes to guys, so she can be very forward and direct with them (although ratchet has managed to disprove a lot of her expectations), but she’s... less experienced in admitting her attraction to girls. and on top of that, her feelings for veronica are PRETTY deep by now, so that’s even less she knows how to handle. so up until now she’s kind of tackled a lot of it by just... i’m gonna be completely honest, interpreting a lot of what happens between them as just being normal for very close friendships. gals being fucking pals.

madeline is... fairly traditional about this kind of thing. if a little impulsive. yeah, i think that’s fair to say. she’s pretty good at determining what she wants and then acting on it, i wouldn’t even be surprised if she was the one who initiated things in both of her previous serious relationships, because she doesn’t see the point of wasting time or dancing around things or anything. BUT again, she is impulsive, driven by her feelings first, and sometimes that can lead her into making stupid decisions, like the brief affair she had back home.

badgerstripe has never really had particular, obvious crushes or feelings she’s been aware of before, soooo she’d be kind of... cautious about navigating them at first? she’s the type who’d want to feel out a situation like this very thoroughly before even considering acting on it, which would probably involve a lot of her second-guessing the other person’s feelings and her own. she’d have to make sure her doubts don’t do that kind of self-sabotaging thing they do, but if she got past that i think she’d be... tentatively optimistic? curious? willing to pursue something and probably hitting a few of those fun little “first love” roadbumps as she did

trish is used to leading a pretty... publicized dating life, so she kind of has a tendency to be careful and deliberate and linear about how she treats her feelings for someone and all the stuff she does afterwards. like, if she lets it be anything less than Pretty in the public eye then the tabloids will usually go nuts, so there’s a lot of... casual dating and going through the motions and trish kind of preparing herself for the inevitable blow-up it’s going to end with. some of her stuff with laurel has been treading new ground for her for obvious reasons, and also because it isn’t public in the same way, and she doesn’t necessarily expect it to end disastrously because... it isn’t that serious! right! at least she’s partially right because they are gonna end things on good terms, which will be a nice change for once, but.

anya isn’t really good at examining and becoming consciously aware of these kinds of feelings. it’s also important to note that she was robbed of that like... period of teenage development where people kind of test the waters with this sort of thing, so she retains a lot of that teenage... defensiveness or stubbornness about it. she doesn’t like admitting her feelings because it’s a bit embarrassing to her, so she’ll dance around that kind of thing, but often give herself away by paying a little too much attention to the other person, even if it means frequent bickering or nagging or acting like she doesn’t like them (see: dmitry).

and dolores is in the tricky position of being someone who... doesn’t usually lie to other people or to herself if she feels strongly about them. BUT romance is really complicated for her right now, so depending on the circumstances she’d probably hold herself back a little until she figured out how to be a little less... way and conflicted about it. but apart from that, she’s usually pretty reasonable about it. she’s a bit careful about gauging how the other person is feeling and how genuine that is buuut she herself is usually pretty warm and sincere with people she has a lot of affection for, sometimes even playfully flirtatious like she used to be with teddy. in short, she might not do anything decisive about her feelings until she’s sure it’s what she and the other person want,but she’s also not especially secretive or oblivious.

[gentlysociallypinned]

Ok not shouty (mostly) reaction to CR 2x13

Fuck, man.  This ep was all over the place but there was such good shit in there.  Spoilers and rampant speculation under the cut.

So...the whole thing with the drow/crick dude in the sewers was weird.  Like I felt like they were really meant to kill him, but they got all noble or at least really nosy about him and insisted on keeping him alive and giving him back his thing.  And then he gets killed and they suddenly decide they need to steal the thing from the guard???  This groups is Shit At Plans, omg.  

Honestly, Jester was really annoying me this episode and she usually doesn’t.  I felt like a lot of the group was kinda off tonight, but especially Laura.  Distracted, maybe.  But normally I don’t find Jester annoying and tonight I did because she kept being like willfully stupid about things.  I know I would have big problems dealing with that kind of character in RL and tonight I felt that in the game as well.

So...I guess the next big thing is Caleb and Nott.  WOW WOW WOW.  OMG.  If Sam just did that on his own, it was fucking GENIUS.  I’m not sure how much he and Liam have coordinated backstories and relationship things or not.  But if that was just Sam I’m SUPER IMPRESSED.  Cause Nott seeing herself as the mother protecting Caleb is brilliant, while Caleb seems to have the opposite view, or a brother/sister thing as he said before.  It says a lot about where Caleb was when they met (god, I need the exact quotes) that she feels that way.  

So then what did Caleb say about his past.  He was supposed to go to the Academy, he was from a small town and they took up a collection to send him to school (Hamilton inspiration, anyone) and he “did something bad” and never made it near there.  Which sounds like warmage Caleb is much less likely now.  Sounds more like he got mixed up with something shady/criminal and lost the money and maybe killed a bunch of folks.  One other thing I caught from this ep was he said he’s seen a fireball level city blocks or something like that.  He was conning the guards when he said it, but that might not be at random.

Ok, ok, and then Molly.  OMG Molly.  So...one thing that only occurred to me after my initial shouty post is that Lucian could very well be a false name he used once and then discarded that this cat dude knew him as.  

BUUUT, in light of my point from last week’s episode, about Molly mentioning using money to entrap people in the past, and his potential background as a serious criminal, I think it’s more likely that he was heavily involved in the criminal underworld before the circus.  Lucian may or may not be his real name, but it’s probably real/established enough that Mercer knew it and Taliesin responded to it. 

Do the tattoos irritate me?  Cause he knows crime signifiers!!!!

FUCK.  

Also, while I’m thinking about Molly’s name, I had a sudden realization that Tealeaf sounds quite a lot like Tiefling with the consonants switched around.  I thought at the time that would be the kind of name a non-Tiefling would give to a Tiefling who had no name and therefore supported the amnesia theory.  But that theory is RIGHT OUT because Molly pretty clearly remembers his past, he’s just been hiding from it.  

Also also, while I’m talking weird theories, I noted Matt pointed out how close the drow’s skin was to Molly’s color, only darker, so what if Molly is half-drow.  I wasn’t putting particular emphasis on his skin color since neither purple or blue is normal for tieflings according to the official books (which say tieflings can be any color of human skin shade or any shade of red.)  But after the drow thing...well, that would be a good explanation.

Also, let it just be known that I do not trust Taliesin AT ALL.  Like I trust Molly more than Taliesin at this point.   

God this is fun.

[eirenare]

FFXV: Episode Ignis — My experience (hint: a lot of feels)

Okay, so between me needing time to get out of my happy shock for Episode Ignis (gods, it’s been hard to find the will to write because I couldn’t even arrange my thoughts well enough), certain movie coming out, and the fact that I usually need to wait for nighttime’s peace to write (and often inspiration and/or will are quite picky, not to mention when your brain gets blocked when it comes to writing), I took my time to finally write this, but... 

Here I go!

[22/12/2017: EDITED THIS POST TO HIGHLIGHT NAMES, CHECK PUNCTUATION AND TAGS, AND EDIT MISTAKES.]

I would like to start by saying that Episode Ignis gave me way more than I would have EVER expected. Like, really. I expected for it to be a great DLC, but the experience exceeded that word easily: it was EVERYTHING. And it was everything because it HAD everything.

I’m still not over it, days later. Damn, I’ve even dreamt with it two times (and I remember almost nothing, but I think Ravus was in both lol).

I was sooo hyped for Episode Ignis that I started playing it a little after midnight and I ended up... AT 6 AM. And I had to wake up in theory at, like, 9 AM. But that night, nothing else mattered outside this DLC and, DAMN, what a night. Totally, absolutely worth it to spend so much hours playing it and losing sleep. I had a great time, and oh gods, some parts had me so excited.

I mentioned this already in my non-spoiler comment about Episode Ignis, but... I expected to cry more than I did in the end. For years, I’ve been a person that cried way too easily when watching movies, playing videogames, reading... Like, really, I tended to cry so much. I often was an emotional mess, I would sob a lot and my chest would literally hurt (if you had seen me with FFXV’s ending, oh dear...). But lately I’ve noticed that, in that regards, I’ve become... a bit “numb”. I enjoy the stories, oh gods if I do, and I still get feels (a lot), but it’s like the intensity has lowered some, and that’s something I don’t like. I miss being a crybaby about these things, damn.

During Episode Ignis, if I recall well there was only one time in which I cried, and that was at the end of the original route of the DLC, when Ignis tells Noctis about “sharing the load”. My goodness, Iggy, you’re such a good, great man...

But well, the thing is, I may have not cried much when I played Episode Ignis, BUT the excitement, the feels, the emotion were there. 

I would sometimes jump a bit on the sofa out of excitement, for example when the last scene of that amazing alternative ending was starting... A moment which also had me frantically gesticulating with my hands in the air, much like when I saw Noctis alive and sitting in the throne (I thought Ignis was just like, going to bow before an empty throne and then say something like “thank you” and cry, but OH GODS, I’m happy I was so wrong in that assumption).

I was smiling while fighting with Ignis all around Altissia and collecting items, and damn, my smile went from ear to ear during the alternative ending, ever since I saw Ravus alive in the stairs (and SMILING, Ravus ACTUALLY SMILING, that’s something beautiful and precious — although I have to admit that seeing his beard almost made me laugh a bit, it was between weird and adorable), and up until the very end of it. And what an ending, oh my goodness... That ending was EVERYTHING, and I can’t stop thinking about it. And oh gods, the addition of that camp scene at the official ending, THE FEELS...!

Oh, and I can’t stress enough how much of a “FUCK YES” it was to see Caligo die and, the best thing, by Ravus’ hand. I don’t know if anyone reading this has seen my post about Caligo, but a past trailer had a VERY creepy moment of Caligo cornering Luna when she was a child while a storm raged on outside the building they were in, and ever since I noticed that the man was Caligo I’ve been wanting so badly to see him actually die. 

On the other hand, some moments really made me frown, or be SO sad. Seeing Ravus so broken about Luna, and then lashing out at a protective and understanding Ignis... Man. MAN. And Ignis. Oh dear gods, Ignis. It was sad to see him sacrifice himself to save Noctis (Ignis is such an AMAZING character), and I worried so much that he was going to die in that alternative ending... 

Still, if there’s something that would make you picture just how much excited I was, it’s this: NON-STOP TREMBLING. 

And it was that kind of trembling that shakes all your body and that you can’t stop (it simply couldn’t be because of the low temperature though because I was warm, wrapped in a blanket like a burrito and with the heating on). I don’t know when it started but it just happened, and it didn’t end until some time after I finished the DLC at 6 AM. Basically I spent hours trembling because of my excitement, so... yeah, that was the biggest sign that I was excited, haha

Damn, my legs even were WEAK, although I didn’t notice that until I got up from the sofa. Also, I still trembled as well when I watched a livestream that same day.

But well, continuing on~

Having Ignis and Ravus as teammates was SO AMAZING. They had such synchrony when they executed movements, that was BADASS. 

And the gameplay was SO good, so smooth, so strategic while at the same time being fast! Seeing Ravus execute “Last Rites” (here in Spain the name is a reference to the boat to the othe world, though) is espectacular, and Ignis jumping like that? HELL YEAH. I didn’t use much the “Overclock” in all honesty because I loved to spam the jump, lol. The dagger system felt really amazing, and probably my favourite element for them was ice. The lightning element was exhilarating, and fire did so much damage... But I just loved the ice daggers too much, not only because of how they felt, but because it was kinda beautiful, like seeing Ignis dance lol. 

And oh my goodness, Ravus and Ignis fight together almost feel like a choreography, and I DIED at how perfectly they combine their moves.

Oh oh, and I went absolutely scavenger mode, looking out for items all around the map, haha. Going to cross the bridge to help Noctis? ... Nah, the loot man, THE LOOT. 

And Altissia... Oh my god, Altissia was amazing (although it hurt to see a place that had been so beautiful now destroyed), such a good open place to explore~ I had INSANE FUN with the hook (oh gods when I discovered that as you fall you can still use I went full Spiderman mode hahaha), and taking back territory from Niflheim. As of now, though, I haven’t picked up all the collectibles and average items, or bought these awesome glasses, or fought Noctis in the Friendly Match, but... SoonTM.

I have to say I accidentally discovered that, if you’re out ot combat and press triangle, Ignis removes and puts on his glasses, or checks them, and so on, lol. That was a cute detail. Oh, and I liked that Weskham did that little appearence! Camelia is just... well... it’s... her. I don’t like how Camelia acted, to be honest... 

Buuut well, onwards.

The music was just PERFECTION. Every theme was AMAZING. That’s an aspect I’ve loved about this DLC, it’s so very well executed! Every piece fits to perfection, and... I just have to mention this: Ardyn getting another version of his theme. One that is just SO scary... Damn, the music of this DLC was perfection.

And now, the time has come... The time to talk about characters and story. The time for DEM FEELS.

The story was just SO WELL EXECUTED. It wasn’t very long, but I felt it SO satisfactory.

Seeing Ignis so worried about Noctis really does something to your heart, like... Just how much this man cares about him? It’s overwhelming, in the good sense.

I’m glad that Ignis got to show in this DLC just how amazing of a character he is, because he deserved it. I mean, he’s shown during the game itself that he cares deeply, but in this DLC you can see just how far he’s willing to go to protect Noctis, and it’s amazing, it’s beautiful, albeit tragic. It’s not that he’s so dedicated because it’s his role to take care of the King of Light, no, but because it’s NOCTIS. He does it for the person, simply. This DLC just shows to what extent, and oh dear... The word is DEVOTION. 

Seeing Ignis not harbouring any doubt before putting the Ring of the Lucii to fight Ardyn later on is just... Wow. He goes through so much pain, through such of a sacrifice, risking his life, to protect Noctis. It’s A LOT. And, you’re going to pardon me for breaking the epic of his act, but... Ignis looks so gorgeous with his hair down and so disheveled. Not to mention that aura around him... I think the world would be “feral”.

Ignis is amazing, in every sense. He’s got a fierce, protecting soul. I don’t doubt that he was scared about what he was doing, but he cared so much for Noctis he just did it. It’s sad when he just falls to the ground besides Noctis after fighting with Ardyn, when he asks Ravus if Noctis is alright, with that tone, because he has no way of knowing by himself. I loved that Ravus talked to him like he did (being all understanding, reassuring), you can tell there’s respect after seeing what he just did. Man, I love their dynamic, even if the time they spent as comrades was short. 

And I just can NOT talk about what happened after they landed on the altar.

Pryna... Oh gods, Pryna. I wasn’t expecting that, to see the poor thing dying just before Ignis’ eyes... And sure as heck I wasn’t expecting for Pryna to show Ignis the future. That left me agape and added yet another layer of pain to Ignis... 

Gods, Ignis and Ravus deserved such a hug.

It was moving seeing Ravus so broken at Luna’s death. One sees earlier he wants to protect her badly, but this... Gods, how much of a pain must be to see a dear sibling lying dead before your eyes? I can totally understand why he lashed out like that, thoughts totally clouded by anger and grief that it’s way too heavy because not only is he grieving Luna right there, but also re-opening the wound of losing his mother. Good thing that Ignis was there to avoid another tragedy...

The fight was... pretty intense. I loved that moment in which Ignis pushed Ravus twice to avoid getting closer, it was a nice touch to the scene. And damn, Ravus really was resilient, it took a bit of time to defeat him, although I liked that fight. 

And, gods, the scene of Ravus embracing his sister, begging for her not to leave him... That was truly heartbreaking. It was his dear sister, but it’s not only that, no... With her death, he was totally and absolutely alone, and since the goal of his life seemed to be protect her, that’s gone as well. He had nothing. The poor man looked so lost and pained... 

Oh, and Ardyn. Ardyn, as always, quite the showman (and a scary one, all the more in the alternative ending, when he tells Ignis the truth and they fight). I have to admit that, for a moment, he had fooled me. I’m impressed that Ravus saw right through the disguise so easily. That means he either knows Ardyn a lot, or that Ardyn might have changed his appearence earlier before him. Or it could be he thought that Gladiolus was being way too much of an asshole and suspected of Ardyn... But, regardless of what it is, it just implies that Ravus knew back then there was something off about Ardyn. I really hope he hadn’t used his appearence change for anything fucked up related to Ravus...

I liked that you could swap point of view and move the camera during that scene with Ardyn, it was interesting. He wouldn’t have, however, killed Noctis. He needed him alive, after all... and for Ignis to get blinded. He just had to push some buttons. I can’t help but think of Ardyn’s expressions when Ignis was hellbent on putting on the ring, before it happened... It happens briefly, but the look doesn’t seem fake, just like in the train, when he talks about Noctis hurting his feelings. I would have loved to know what was going on Ardyn’s mind in these moments when his performance cracks. 

I have to admit I thought we would have the option to choose the alternative path from the start, but well, better like this, being forced to choose the original option on the first time. It would have been weird to start with the alternative universe.

Oh, and before I forget it... The soldier with Ardyn’s fedora. Gods, I automatically smiled then, it had been a funny gesture that almost made me laugh. I wasn’t expecting that at all.

The confrontation with Ardyn... Ah, yet another hard fight, but I achieved to defeat him (and, omg, that moment when he just teleports in front of Ignis, that was between awesome and scary). As I said, I loved the scene with Ravus back then. Also, Gladio almost reaching for Ignis’ hair when he’s on the ground... Bury me with feels. Bury me even more when the credits, too. Seeing Ignis so vulnerable, with Prompto and Gladio so nervous and breaking... Not to mention the scene of Ignis’ talk to Noctis. Oh, dear... I get that he wanted to protect Noctis from death (what a heavy knowledge to bear, knowing of the future...), but it wasn’t a very logical thing, to suggest Noctis to stop. Uuunless he wanted to cause Noctis to move forward.

Chapter 3 Verse 2 is... ANDLFNGLFNLDNASDAS. Or, translated to English, straightaway my death because it was SO-A-MA-ZING. Tragic. Beautiful. With a happy ending (YESSS I mean I love tragedy in fiction but this alternative ending made me soar and now I can’t stop thinking about it).

I almost forgot to say this, but... That “Mysterious Voice”...? In the credits you can see that the voice actress in every language is Luna’s voice actress, but it’s weird that they would process the voice like that AND not say it’s Luna... Not to mention that the way that voice talks isn’t very much “Luna-like”.Regardless of who it is that is talking, the only thing we know is that it’s a voice coming from the Crystal.

A thing that I haven’t mentioned earlier, and it’s very much noticeable now, is that Ardyn has been VERY hard with Ignis, and it may sound crazy but it looks as if he’s just taking it out on him. He said about speeding the process of Noctis becoming the King of Light, but isn’t Ardyn reaching important levels of aggresivity? And it’s not like his mood is the same as always, no, you can see that sometimes his perfomance craks here too, as it does when he fights Noctis in Insomnia. He reveals to Ignis who he is, though (and gods YES at least we get him explicitly saying it was his brother, something that’s good because a lot of people was still thinking who Izunia was), before attacking Ignis... And, in fact, it’s not just that he goes hard on Ignis, is that Ardyn becomes VICIOUS to unsuspected points.

The music of his 4th theme helps make him look scarier, too, and not to mention the fact that he seems to own every weapon of every descendant of his brother Izunia... The fight against Ardyn was VERY hard and tiring.

An interesting thing: while in English the options are named “sacrifice your life”, “risk your life” and “give up”, in Spanish we have that, instead of “risk your life”, the option’s named “sacrifice your senses” > “sacrifice your body” > “sacrifice your soul”, depending on if you choose that option repeatedly until only “sacrific your life” / “give up” remain.

it was sad and worrying seeing Ignis doing such sacrifices, and I seriously thought he was going to die... But, somehow, Noctis made the Crystal answer to his call in such a way that it would heal Ignis, and that was sooo much a relief. This scene was so tragic, it gave me so much feels... Gods, hearing the brothers voice their grief... And Gladiolus specially reached me. 

When I saw the group going around in the credits scene, talking to other characters everywhere, it was SO nice. I loved it, it was very nostalgic, and I love so much FFXV’s NPCs.

But the best thing was the alternative ending... *internal screaming noises of happiness*

“We walk tall — together”. YES. I loved that new version of the phrase.

Ravus being happy, and with that weird, funny yet adorable beard~ ... And SMILING. After all that shit in his whole life. Give me TEN. PLEASE.

And oh my goodness Ignis nodding to Ravus like “you’re one of us, come”, and Ravus going with them with ANOTHER SMILE. Omg. You can blame this DLC that now I headcanon that in this alternative ending Ravus is friends with the bros but specially with Ignis (I mean, Ravus was totally ALONE, he needed someone around him that could understand his pain, and who better than Ignis, that saw him at his worst). 

And in fact, I’ve started to ship both Ravus x Ignis (both one-sided and loved back), and Ignis x Noctis, apart from liking a lot BROTP Ravus/Ignis... HELP hahah. Nah, I’m kidding, don’t help me, I’m comfortable in shipping/BROTP hell lol.

The last scene... Ah, dammit. I wasn’t expecting for Noctis to be alive AT ALL, yet there he was, all majestic and amazing, with that smile on his lips. As I said, at first I thought Ignis was going to enter the throne room to do something symbolic, like saying “thank you” while crying or something, but... NOPE! And I’m so glad I was wrong.

Pfff... This DLC is PURE BEAUTY. 

It has amazing music, a good scenario, smooth gameplay, it answers some questions while it makes you question other things, but most importantly... it portrays the characters very well and gives them more deepness, and the story is solid. 

I don’t know if I’ve forgotten something, and I think I could have written this way better, or express more feeling, but well, this is what I’ve written for now, haha.

To anyone that might be reading this: thank you for checking the post, and have a nice day!