#I still need to finish that before I’m allowing myself to start posting

[verdantglow]

Yesterday I decided to let myself get started on the actual prose for this fic from the beginning.

Today I finished writing chapter one.

Y’ALL.

It is 6.3K long.

And I stopped part way through what I had outlined for chapter one because I realized if I kept going, this chapter was gonna be like 10k+, and maybe that’s Too Long.

There was supposed to be at least two more scenes in this chapter.

This is gonna be CHONKY.

[ponderingmoonlight]

Hashira reader smacking Zenitsu and sending him to her crush Iguro to teach him a lesson

original idea and inspiration by none other than queen @sitarawrites and this post right here

Pairing: Obanai x fem!hashira! reader

Word Count: 1,1k

Warnings: Zenitsu being a creep and getting payback for it

„Please, you have to give me a chance!“

„Zenitsu, I think that’s enough-„

„You have to be the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen! Let’s marry as long as we’re still alive!”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone, you creep?”

“I’m so so sorry for his behavior-“

“What’s going on here?”, you interrupt the little chit chat in front of you sharply.

You sign to yourself. Just like you expected, another wave of losers that just arrived. 2 girls, a few of those basic guys and…

You furrow your eyebrows, a wave of nauseous disgust getting a hold of you the second you see him. That blonde haired guy who looks at you as if you’re a piece of meat.

“Oh, who are-“

Without even allowing him so finish his sentence, you grab his blonde hair with one hand while smacking him flat-palmed with the other.

“Just let me make a few things clear before we’re even starting”, you hiss, mindlessly dropping his crying figure to the ground.

“If you didn’t catch it already, I’m a hashira and you are here to train under me. But I’m not like Mitsuri or my former master Himejima-sama. We won’t pray around here, we won’t laugh. But most important of all, don’t you dare to piss me off by disregarding me in some sort of way. Got it, Blondie?”

“I think he understood, (y/n)-san!”, the red-haired boy next to him shouts immediately while throwing his unconscious body over his shoulder.

“I know you’re still listening. If I catch you hitting on a corps member like that one more time, I’ll burry you under rocks before sending you over to Igoro-san”, you bark at the boy who again, screams out in sheer fright.

Apparently, his horrible behavior towards females isn’t the only annoying thing about that guy named Zenitsu. If it wasn’t for Kamado, he’d hide inside his room the whole day while crying his eyes out.

“I promise he acts different when he’s unconscious!”

“Do I have to slap him again, then?”

“YOU CAN’T DO THAT!”

Urgh. If it wasn’t for that crow sent by Ubayishiki-sama himself, you would have drowned that boy in the river nearby immediately. And that nice little interactions with a certain someone.

“If he doesn’t treat you right, send him my way. I’ll make sure he’ll never cry again.”

“Nice try Iguro-san. But Ubayishiki-sama forbid me to hurt him and I’m sure the same goes for you, unfortunately.”

“Is he still looking at you all the time? Then it might be worth it.”

“Don’t worry, he doesn’t. But if I catch him crying around like a baby one last time, I’ll send him to you personally.”

“I’ll take that as a promise, then.”

You smile to yourself while reading those well-written lines. Igoru-san…truth is, you definitely kept an eye open for him these past months. Out of all the hashira, he’s the only one you’re really keen to talk to.

“Ahhh, it’s so cold!”

“Zentisu, calm down. Don’t you remember what (y/n)-san told you about-“

“I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE! THIS IS LIVING HELL! THAT WOMAN IS THE DEVIL HERSELF! I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE TANJIRO!”

“Please calm down-“

“I’M SURE THE GIRLS AT THE BUTTERFLY ESTATE MISS ME, I’LL JUST RETURN TO AOI AND THE GIRLS-“

“You’re not going anywhere, you fool. I’m having enough of your bullshit”, you interrupt his pity party along with a harsh bow into his stomach that surely makes him see stars.

“I’m sending you to Iguro myself.”

Another well-placed hit, a passed out Zenitsu before you even get the chance to hit him.

“Please, allow me to go with you, (y/n)-san. I don’t think Zenitsu will survive the training of the serpent hashira on his own”, a gently voice speaks out next to you.

Urgh. You hate to even consider Tanjiro’s words. But there’s nothing you’re able to teach him anyway. No matter how much you hate to admit it, but that Kamado boy definitely is something special.

“Fine”, you grumble.

“But only because I want to get rid of you.”

“That’s totally fine! Thank you for teaching me hand to hand combat anyway!”

“Yeah, whatever. Just carry that prick and follow me.”

Your heart beats a little faster with every step you come nearer to the serpent hashira’s estate. How is he doing? Is he excited to see you, what will he say? You haven’t seen each other since the last hashira meeting, didn’t have the chance to speak properly since forever as it seems.

But now is your chance. When it means seeing Iguro-san, that douchebag did have a purpose after all.

“Did you take out the trash, (y/n)?”

Your breath gets stuck in your throat. You didn’t even sense him until he stands in front of you, both eyes set on you with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“I can’t take that whining baby anymore. Make sure to treat him right”, you explain briefly.

“Oh, and I took Kamado with me.”

“Tanjiro Kamado”, Iguro-san hisses, his eyes shooting pure venom Tanjiro’s way.

“Bring that useless boy inside and get some rest yourself, Kamado”, you instruct the boy next to you who springs into action immediately.

“He’s doing pretty well”, you mumble more to yourself than actually talking to Iguro-san.

“Doing pretty well?”

Faster than you’re able to react, you find yourself breathlessly pinned against a nearby tree with his eyes almost piercing trough you.

“I mean…yeah”, you breathe out.

“But I actually came here because I missed you”, you add with unusual low voice.

Is that blush creeping up your cheeks? The serpent hashira almost doesn’t believe his ears. You, missing him? He never thought you’d actually like him, that feelings like missing someone like him could actually exist. But you hold his gaze with reddened cheeks. And you’re here, between his arms.

“I…”

He kind find the words. In fact, it seems like his mind and body aren’t able to function normally anymore.

“I need to go”, he presses out.

“But Iguro-san, I-“

He’s gone as fast as he came, leaving yourself leaning against the tree like an idiot.

What was that?

-bonus-

“I’ll let you suffer for making (y/n) uncomfortable. Did you flirt with her?”

“W-what? Me? I’d never d-do that!”

“I’ll kill you-“

“Please don’t kill him Iguro-san!”

“I’ll kill you as well. You made eyes at (y/n)-san.”

“We’re so screwed”, Zenitsu hisses through gritted teeth.

Tags: @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix  @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld

@froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @poketrainer2270 @chaoticwinnercupcake

@lees-chaotic-brain @wordskeeper @polarbvnny @sugu-love @ryva @baku2345

@komelrebi-san @kentocalls (your fic will be next) @barbuse @sunshine7queen @lavenderdrxp

@yaninnaacu @hopefulbelievertimemachine

[toutvatoujoursbien]

A (relatively new-ish) fan’s perspective on Luke Newton

(I wrote my very first Tumblr post last month and now I think I’ve chosen the path of essayist/suffering. I’ve also been writing this on and off for four weeks because it seems like every other day, something new pops up or the fandom has a meltdown of some kind. I’m not even sure if it’s worth posting, but I think, like my first one, I needed to get this out of my system in order to TRY and return to being a normal person - which is still unlikely because Lukola has me in a chokehold. NOTE: I finished the majority of this on July 19, before all the weird-ass stuff happened over the weekend, and haven’t had the chance to post until now. Anyway, this is going to be long, full of ramblings that are hopefully organized in a cohesive manner, and all opinions and observations are my own. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings, okay?)

I’ve really struggled to understand why the whole Bridgerton S3 and Luke Newton PR stunt has embedded itself into my brain the way it has. Like, how could the actions of someone I don’t know still be lingering in my thoughts even now, weeks later? After my first post, I realized that there was more to the entire LN situation than I was previously unaware of - so I started digging. None of this information is hidden or secret, it was publicly available and therefore the fans picked up on it quickly. But I, personally, DID NOT KNOW ANY OF IT, going into S3, and I think that’s why everything has hit me like a ton of bricks. So I thought, surely I’m not the only new(ish) fan who has suffered from this emotional and mental whiplash? 

I really, really, really loved Luke’s portrayal of Colin and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed watching all the interviews and behind-the-scenes from S3. I would also love to continue to support him as he builds his acting career. However, I didn’t have a full picture, which unfortunately includes a history of making - what I think are - poor and questionable decisions in his personal life that he also allowed to bleed into his professional one. And that’s how I find myself struggling with the dichotomy of everything I’ve seen him do during Bridgerton promo vs. lots of other actions he’s taken. So let’s talk about it, okay? (Importantly, I reserve the right to update my current opinions as more information comes to light.)

I want it to be clear that I am in no way hating on Luke. Part of my struggle with writing this post has been because I don’t want this to be misconstrued as more hate being thrown his way. That is not my intention, at all. Seeing “fans” over the past few weeks absolutely rip into him on social media has been heartbreaking and deeply unsettling. This type of behavior is ugly and nasty and no one should be subjected to it. Full stop. As others have said: it’s okay to have thoughts and criticisms (criticism ≠ hate), but please keep it to the appropriate corners of the Internet. I think you can admire/support a famous person, but you should also be able to call them out on their conduct, particularly the stuff that happens in public. Blind love/following and putting people on pedestals is never going to allow any room for reflection and/or growth. I think there is a LOT of nuance in the whole discussion around him, his past actions, his handling of things now, and what’s in store for the future.

Okay, deep breaths & continue after the cut (because this got… wordy).

Some brief background on how I got here: As noted previously, I’ve been a longtime fan of both Polin and Bridgerton, first with the book series and then with the tv show. But, for whatever reason, I never even thought about jumping into the fandom until earlier this year, in anticipation of Season 3. I will say that I have been delighted with Nicola and Luke and their work as Polin from the start, but with the nature of the show being what it is, I just didn’t pay as much attention until it was their turn to lead. I watched some behind the scenes and promos occasionally, but not consistently. It wasn’t until around the February/Valentine’s event that I started to take notice and then I fell down the rabbit hole in April (literally, figuratively, and spiritually 😅). I say all this to illustrate that up until the spring, I was part of the General Audience, though admittedly with a bias towards viewing Bridgerton favorably.  Another factor is that I got most of my fandom content from Twitter (again, I’m never going to call it X), with the occasional peek into Instagram and Tumblr. Yes, Twitter is a hellscape. But I am also lazy and only have so much time to scroll online. And since everything seems to get cross-posted everywhere, it was easiest for me to keep mostly to one social media site to consume all my Bridgerton content. But I point this out because I now see this as an error on my part. Why? Because I wasn’t getting a well-rounded picture of the situation around L, N and S3. Remember my own self-admitted social media bubble? Sigh. The fast pace of tweets meant I could blink-and-miss something on Twitter, unless it trended (or really riled the fans up). It’s a breeding ground for the hyperbolic and for discourse, in general. Twitter also seems to be divided into the Luke Haters (let’s be real, most of their “reasoning” is just uncalled for, vile hate) and the Luke Apologists (who have the tendency to exhibit, imo, some gross-excuse-all-his-behaviors-he-never-does-anything-wrong rhetoric). So it wasn’t until I started noticing chatter of Luke’s past actions that it prompted me to start looking deeper into what others have witnessed and noted online, particularly on this platform. Again, it wasn’t like I was trying to find some sort of hush-hush subject matter. Instead, I rather got the impression that those established in the fandom had a sort of unspoken agreement to keep these discussions to DMs and group chats - mostly as to not detract from Polin’s upcoming season. (But seriously, great of y’all to keep it locked down, however it would have really helped a girl out all the times I was like, “why is everyone so mad?” 🤣) And a lot of things started clicking into place once I knew more of the details. So I’ve put together a list of high-level topics/points that I didn’t know before, being relatively new to the fandom. Perhaps this can help other fans who are trying to wrap their heads around the various discussions occurring now and may feel clueless.

One more thing, HUGE shout-out to @jack4132cf for giving me a concise timeline of… well, everything I apparently missed last year+ when I wasn’t part of the fandom 😆🙌🏼 They’ve really helped me fill in the blanks (of which I had many)! Also, darcytaylor has a great 3-part deep dive, and I’ve read (and backtracked) through most of herejusttosufferalong and allsortsofthingsmpov ’s blogs, among others. They’ve provided a place for differing opinions and perspectives to be voiced in a respectful manner (unless you’re a troll, in which any clap-back is justified). I may not agree with everyone’s take, but I firmly believe that hearing views from others has helped shape my own thought process.

Let’s begin, shall we?

The Hot Fuck Boy Summer™️ (which I’m trademarking as HFBS)

Bridgerton S3 wrapped up filming in March 2023 and then Luke starred in the play The Shape of Things, which was in production from around May-July 2023. At some point prior to all this, Luke and his previous gf broke up - this is reported on by several media outlets in March, as well as “news” that he joined the dating app Raya. This is where, I think, his questionable behavior starts to raise eyebrows. It’s not the fact that he’s dating - I feel like fans gave him a pass since he just ended a long-term relationship (Enter the mentality some had of “let him have his hot boy summer!”). No, I think the issue is that he was not at all private or discreet about it. 

Remember when I said I think he let choices in his personal life bleed over into his professional one? Yeah, there were multiple glaring examples happening in real time last year, and the fandom took notice. He started publicly following certain users on IG and liking their posts, (unfortunately) many of whom were young, female models and dancers, under the age of 23. He (foolishly) followed his private account on his public profile, and then tried to backpedal. He engaged with some online flirtations that didn’t sit well with the fans (cough, E. Bear, cough), and then tried to backpedal. Mind you, all of this occurred and at some point later on, it’s then also decided that he’s going to move (aka, clean up) his social media presence to be more work-related. My point is:

Luke was digitally messy and left a trail (several, really). 

In conjunction with the HFBS, we also have:

& That Friend Group

Ah yes, the “boys.” Look, clearly I don’t know his friend group in real life, so all I can speak on is the image they give off based on their public social media accounts. And I, personally, am very unimpressed with what they’ve chosen to share with the world. My general perception is that L’s group of friends love to have a good time and show it off; seem to have an large amount of influence over him, particularly R; and can been seen as reaping the benefits of his success. He has discussed before how he likes to be generous with his friend group. During HFBS, they posted all about their vacations, on public accounts, and tagged Luke in them. They posted thirst trap photos and tagged Luke in them. They took quite a few boat trips and, once again, tagged Luke in them. Are we sensing a pattern here?

His friend group was also digitally messy and left trails.

I am in no way saying his friends aren’t allowed to post whatever they want on their accounts. It’s totally within their rights to have a good time and capture it on their pages, and I completely understand the desire to only show the “memorable” and “fun” stuff on social media. I just think it was short-sighted to NOT consider that Luke’s fans would be interested in seeing what he was up to with his friends - and you know that people will always, always dig around on the Internet. Maybe this was some kind of fun game to them? Maybe they enjoyed the attention? Maybe they didn’t think it was that big a deal? Who knows? But I think, in hindsight, it would have been safer and smarter to not have all this documented and out in the open, imo. 

My other understanding is that around the time the break up was “officially announced,” Luke’s ex began dating someone who was 22/23 at the time. His childhood friend R also ended a relationship last year and began dating a young woman around 22/23. Do I think R may have encouraged Luke in a certain direction dating-wise, especially considering that A was/is a friend of S, R’s new gf? Do I wonder if this was all to get back at J for starting a relationship with a new young thing, too? It seems likely, but of course this is all conjecture on my part. This is giving “high school drama” vibes, being played out in public, which is very, very  unfortunate.

However, Luke was ultimately the person who did not ask his friends to refrain from posting him on social media, as well as publicly following young women on socials and not being very discreet about his dating life, which is what raises my eyebrows…

The Age Gap Thing

Let’s just address this here and now. Remember, these are my opinions, each individual is entitled to their own, and I hope everyone takes a moment to really think and evaluate how they feel about the matter! I’m going to be very transparent and upfront about this:

I do not like the age gap between L and many of the young women he was showing interest in last year.

I’m viewing this from the lens of someone who is an elder Millennial and female. For me, personally, my dislike has more to do with: 1) A's age when they started dating/the age she is now (22/23); but more specifically 2) the power dynamics at play. 

I don’t have a problem with age gaps overall, because I believe that love can find us at many stages in life. However, I’m also of the opinion that a person 30+ should not be dating a someone in their early 20s. I’m not going to use the whole “the brain hasn’t been fully developed” argument, though valid. My issue has more to do with where an individual is in terms of life experience, emotional and overall maturity, and (this ties in with #2) financial stability within age gaps. In general, I find, say, a 45-year-old dating a 37-year-old to be on more even footing, which becomes even more so as you age. But a 22-year-old, presumably fresh out of college/university and about to embark on their next steps into adulthood, is just not in a position to date someone in their 30s. To me, your early 20s are the time for you to gain all the things I mentioned above (life experience, maturity, financial stability that is independently your own) as well as make plenty of mistakes. And that’s not to say any of that stops once you hit 30, or beyond! I know I’m constantly evolving and learning more about myself and my place in the world as each year passes.

My deeper discomfort comes from the inherent power dynamics and power imbalance between L/A. Of course L has lot more of the power in terms of money, resources and status; they are not equal partners. This article here (https://jill.substack.com/p/the-problem-with-men-who-date-much) illustrates these points much better than I can; I think it’s worth the read. 

Is he allowed to date whomever he so chooses? Yes. Are people allowed to feel the ick with the current choice/choices he made last year? Also yes. Does it entitle anyone to post nasty comments on his social media? Absolutely not. I may not personally like his choice, but it’s ultimately his to make. 

NOTE: I also want to address right here that, to me, his behavior isn’t “predatory” or whatever twisted narrative some folks are trying to push. Honestly, I think he’s gone the complete opposite direction from the type of women his ex and N are because it might be less complex/more simple both in terms of emotions and permanence. But obviously, pure speculation on my part. 

Antagonistic A

At some point during HFBS, L meets A and she becomes a part of That Friend Group. During Fall 2023, there are many trips to Soho Farmhouse and other posts made to R/S/A’s social media accounts. A in particular made quite a few posts that could be interpreted as her wanting to show she was with L, but never actually including him fully (these are the arms/legs photos that fans talk about and side-eye). Some of these types of posts have since been conveniently deleted. L and That Friend Group celebrate NYE24 at Soho Farmhouse, where everyone but him share photos and videos. On Jan 2, a photo of L and A kissing was circulated on social media -  they got caught in the video of the band playing. Also at the beginning of this year, A - for whatever fucking reason - started tagging along on various work trips and had a tendency to post TikTok’s from various hotel bathrooms. Again, insinuating that she’s with L but not outright showing it. 

The “InStyle stunt” - end of March/early April, there is a trip to Los Angeles which A posted stories and photos on IG. It’s later revealed that L was going to be featured in InStyle Magazine’s “This Guy” series, which included an interview, video and photoshoot, as well as an IG post that consisted of several polaroid, “boyfriend-style” pictures. The Instyle polariods were released three weeks after A’s posts, and let’s just say that A’s are a little too on the nose to be coincidence (also cue more hand/leg reveals…) Please note, again, that some of these photos on A’s account have been conveniently deleted/removed.

These are only a few examples of how… messy this all is and how it can be viewed as her antagonizing the fans. There is a lot of back and forth debate between “just leave her alone, she’s allowed to post what she wants” against “she’s clearly using social media to taunt the fandom/get attention/chase clout/etc.” When I finally learned about all the social media games being played, I just felt really unsettled for a few reasons.

Luke has stated that he wishes to keep his private life more private (see: social media clean-up from last fall). But, and this is my big issue here, A and That Friend Group don’t seem to WANT to be private. So to me, that can push people to question how much does he know what’s actually going on (he admits to not being online much) and, more importantly, how complicit is he with all of their postings? I personally feel like the narrative being pushed by his friends is very self-serving, and doesn’t seem like it’s in L’s best interest or protecting his privacy. Because I think we all know and understand that if a celebrity wants to keep certain things private, they have the money and resources to do so - some good examples that come to mind are Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes, Benedict Cumberbatch, Dolly Parton, and our girl Nicola herself.

A has made it a pattern to post shortly after either Nicola or the main Bridgerton account posts something, usually on IG or TT; there is timely evidence of this. So much so that the fandom jokes about how obsessed she must be with N. And these posts don’t really have much substance - other than to show off her body or her latest vacation. It just all comes off as very insecure and seeking attention, whether it’s from L or from the public in general. Again, why do we feel the need to play social media games? But this does not mean she deserves hateful comments either. I personally don’t care for her or her actions, but as an older female, I also can’t help but be saddened by the fact that she’s making many, many poor choices in a very public forum. I can’t help but wonder if she’s going to have regrets later on when/if she reflects back on this time. 

The PR Stunt/Papgate

This has been dissected by the fandom to death and there are a plethora of theories on who exactly was responsible for calling the paparazzi, who knew what was actually going to happen, WHY did this occur, and how much did this impact the season and the press tour overall. It’s enough to make anyone’s head spin - hell, I’ve changed my opinion at least a dozen times over the past several weeks. Regardless, the thing that aggravates me the most about the whole thing is the absolutely terrible and suspicious timing of it. As stated in my previous post: Here’s my point: I think what should have been a moment of triumph and a joyous occasion for Nic, Luke, and Bridgerton season 3, was sadly overshadowed by the aforementioned shitstorm. And that’s a damn shame. Too many cast and crew put in a lot of time, effort, and blood sweat and tears, to pull this all together.

I’m still personally stuck on a few things: 1) How did paps know when L was leaving the official after party? Additionally, how did they know which hotel L was going to for his after-after party? Because that’s where we got the super awkward handhold attempt photos. 2) Did L know about the first location but not the second one - which ties into was this an attempt by his PR team to distance himself from Bridgerton and Nicola now that promo was almost done? Because the way he looks from location 1 to 2 is vastly different. 3) If paps were there, why was literally NO ONE else from the cast also photographed??? 4) Why has DM double (and tripled) down over the past few weeks on how she got those exclusive photos in the first place? And 5) Who ultimately has benefited the most from this whole PR stunt 🤔??? (Because I sure as hell don’t think it’s Luke…)

The Cinnamon Roll vs The Bad Boy

Luke has stated in several interviews that he’s interested in going for edgier, darker roles. I think that’s great that he wants to try something new and diversify; I would love to see him in whichever type of role interests him! However, he’s also spent 4-5 years playing Colin, a character that is quirky, kind and lovable (much more so on the show, thanks to Luke’s portrayal) and known for being the ultimate “wife guy” amongst the fandom. It’s also been mentioned time and time again that Luke is most like his character (by Luke himself and his Bridgerton cast mates). Nic speaks so highly of him, and the way he presented himself during the 6 months of press was really wonderful; I think he has a deep understanding and love for his role, and he was a genuinely supportive partner to his co-lead during filming. Think golden retriever energy - which is NOT a bad thing, at all!

If there is any truth to the PR stunt being organized by his team (and I’m in no way saying this is fact) as a way to differentiate/disassociate him from Bridgerton/Nicola, then I think this was a miscalculation on their part. We know that Luke did a lot of editorial photoshoots during the promo tour; and looking at the pictures now, it seems like there was definitely a narrative/aesthetic that was trying to be pushed of a more intense, moody and provocative L. Which is also fine! I don’t think he must be one personality or the other; humans are multi-faceted and complex, it’s what makes us so interesting.

The (Ongoing) Fallout

This is really difficult to write about because, honestly, I feel like we’re still witnessing it happening in real time, bit by agonizing bit. What we do know is that at this moment, he hasn’t announced any new projects other than returning for Bridgerton Season 4. He hasn’t announced any major brand deals and we don’t know what his next steps are career-wise. Which is completely baffling to me because I would think he and his team would want to capitalize on the momentum of a very successful season of a Netflix/Shondaland production. However, this is his life and his job, so until he comes forward with literally anything to say (a statement, an announcement, hell, he hasn’t even publicly claimed to have a gf FFS), then everything else is just noise and speculation. As much as I hope he’s not taking another HFBS, I also wouldn’t blame him for wanting to step away from the spotlight. He’s been unfairly dragged and smeared since the Part 2 premiere. Do I think he and his team/friend group have made a some missteps along the way? Yes, but again, no one deserves the nasty comments and vitriol that has been flung his way. 

So How Do We Move Forward?

I keep thinking back to the adage: When someone shows you who they are, believe them.*

And isn’t this the root of my (and perhaps others’) struggle? Because it’s been really difficult to reconcile someone Nicola calls “a true gentleman, the kindest friend, a dream costar” with a man who seemingly (?) goes along with pap walks, Instagram subterfuge, and appears to be distancing himself from the very project and costars that helped propel him into the leading man spotlight. For me personally, I go back to my point that people are multi-faceted and deeply complex. I think Luke can be all of those things; I also think he might be struggling right now to figure out who he is and what he wants next after being scrutinized so heavily.

Also from my first post: We have to remember, though, that what we’re shown is only a fraction of their true selves, carefully and deliberately curated to accommodate their status as actors/celebrities/those in the public eye. 

I choose to believe that we saw glimpses of the real Luke throughout the press tour. (ColinBridgey is a rockstar and compiled everything into a master list for our enjoyment!) I choose to believe Nicola knows Luke a hell of a lot better than almost everyone else yapping in this conversation. I choose to believe that his anxiety and quietness could be perceived as standoffish, and unfortunately he wasn’t able to shine as much as Nicola during the press tour, but they are a team and have each other’s backs - there is genuine love there, after all. I choose to believe that social media posting and likes are not indicative of the actual friendship and relationship between L and N. I would love to see him post more, or be more vocal in publicly thanking Bridgerton and Nicola - however, I realize those are expectations I have/desire and he does not owe me anything. 

I choose to believe that despite the mistakes and missteps, he’s a decent human being who deserves to live his life on his own terms and at his own speed. I really, really hope that whenever he announces his next project, I can be joyful and supportive. There’s a lot of talk about giving him grace, which I agree with. I cannot imagine, nor do I desire to be in the public eye this way; it’s easy for us and others to feel entitled to say things behind our screens and keyboards, but these are real, actual people with lives and feelings.

I do think that it is for the best interest of the fandom to try and ignore A and That Friend Group (and DM) as much as possible. And I will be the first to admit that it is really fucking hard to do so. Like I’ve said before, I try to ignore toxicity and hate, but I am also human and therefore imperfect and capable of pettiness. There is just something about this situation (probably how much Lukola captivated me and how much disdain I have for his friend group) that makes me watch everything play out like it’s a train on fire, careening towards an unfinished bridge, over a ravine. Sometimes I feel bad because I wonder if I’m adding to the entire spectacle with my continued interest. But then I remember that I specifically keep it to this corner of the internet, and I’ve found a nice little community where we can gossip and discuss and dissect it all.

If you’ve made it to the end, thank you. This is just everything I’ve been ruminating over the past month, put into word vomit form. I would looove to hear your thoughts and takes on everything/anything discussed above. Maybe you have a different perspective or noticed something that I missed.

*Fun fact: In my research, I learned that this saying comes from Maya Angelou’s “A Song Flung Up to Heaven” and is actually "Believe people when they tell you who they are. They know themselves better than you.” The more well-known version comes out of an Oprah Winfrey interview with Angelou in 1997, where they were discussing life lessons. Okay, I’ll stop being a nerd now.

[reveriememory]

⭐️ °. • Thank You Neil • .° ⭐️

I pushed myself to finish this in time, and I did! I met Neil, and gave him a physical copy. Till this day, I just freak out when I remember… I really admire him! I’ll talk about that and this art piece after the Read More if you’d like to hear about that.

This art piece started in October, last year as an Astarion fan piece, but overtime I realized I wanted to do something more meaningful. I’ve known of Neil since DBH, so why not create something for him? So I added in Neil, and then I left it alone for months. Didn’t really think anything of it since usually all my art follows this treatment. I focus on it for a whole two weeks and then it fades into the background. However, I got word that Neil was coming to my area, and that’s when I started freaking out. Like, oh my god, I need to finish this… can I give this to him? I’ve never gone to a convention before… what am I gonna do?

So I kept debating to finish this, because I didn’t know what was allowed, and if I could even finish in time, how would I even print this? I mean, I can just finish it at my own pace and tag him or something. In the end, I decided that it’s more important to me to get it to him in person, that way I can also get my copy signed. I had to plan this all out, and long story short, I rushed it in a week. I pulled two all-nighters, and just REALLY rushed on poor Gavin in the background. Gavin was actually a last minute decision! I would’ve added Kamski, but he’s literally just a face copy of Neil so I decided against that, and Gavin was the close second. The reason I chose DBH was because that’s where I first discovered Neil. I was a fan of this game when it first released. Heisenberg was another option, but I never got to his part of the game so I felt it wasn’t a good pick since I was going under personal limitations. Not to mention, really low on time. However, I added some references on the wall, specifically the ones where it was games that I had played! I could’ve added more, but again- time. I drew them in a motion capture studio, because I envision Neil practicing and performing with the characters he had worked on. I just felt like It was a cute little idea, and I admire Neil for his motion capture the most. It’s something I’m trying to get into, or some form of it at least.

Then. The Day.

AHHHHHH. I was starstruck. I’m just going to sum it up and talk about this specific moment. I’m next in line and I just blurt out, “I’m trying really hard not to get starstruck!” But I’m already shaky and half my memory gone. I was so anxious, trying to get through the moment that I didn’t really get to enjoy the moment, but man, am I still happy. I tell him about the piece and he’s like oh, what have you been working on? The drawing got jammed in its protector, so I was just struggling with it. “OH, sorry, it’s stuck!” And he thankfully found it funny. Gave it to him, got my copy signed and perfect. But AHHHH, I’m anxious right? I ask him if he could sign the back of it, because I was worried I’d cringe at the piece in the future. I normally don’t call my art cringe but why, why was I THAT honest—

He’s so quick to reply, super sweet man, just tells me no, don’t cringe. He also asked me about my focus in motion capture, but that’s another post for another day. I have something in the works for that!

Look, in my defense! I RUSHED the piece, so I knew I’d get a bit irritated in the future seeing my art and knowing I had the time to really do a beautiful job! I just meant that knowing how much potential I had, had I taken advantage of that, it would have turned out so much… not better, but to my liking. I’m content, considering the limitations, but… y’know? Anyways, I still wanted to look at his signature and proudly display that, like aye, I got to meet him!

Considering that I rarely draw real people, I’m definitely proud with how Neil turned out. Just like Neil told me, and many others, can’t be too harsh with myself. When working on this, I was super excited and actually thrived while working on it. Yes, under pressure, but dedicated. I can’t remember the last time I ever fixated on an art piece like this. With that said, I definitely want to try again in the future and get better at drawing semi-realism. And Neil is coming back to my area next year so… ideas.

Anyways, thank you for reading my little journal entry! Back to work I go~

[msschemmenti]

The Bodyguard

Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

summary : reader hasn't mastered the art of self-care yet and melissa helps.

a/n: been sitting with this for a bit, hoping to post more now that i'm kinda getting my adult life together :) i also could not tell you what happened at the end of this...

“Good Morning beautiful educators! Are we ready to change some lives?” Janine called, bounding into the teacher’s lounge. All eyes rolled and a collective sigh fell over the room. Despite the less than enthusiastic response, Janine’s smile remained in place as she shoved her lunch in the refrigerator and sat next to Jacob. 

“What’s got you so chipper this morning?” Melissa spoke, eyeing the younger woman over the cat-eye reading glasses she had perched on her nose.

“I just woke up well-rested. With the new schedule I’ve created for myself I’ve had loads more time to get things done. I’m worrying less and feeling my best.” Janine proudly spoke, causing the older women in the room to observe her thoughtfully. 

“That’s great Janine. You have seemed much more confident and that’s great to see.” Barbara smiled. 

“Good for you Kid. That’s often the hardest part of teaching in a school like this. It’s hard to take time for yourself.” Melissa smiles over her reading glasses, leveling the younger woman with a congratulatory nod. Janine beamed at the camera over the older woman's shoulder and turned to Jacob to listen to his spiel for the morning. As everyone went back to their own morning routines, Y/n slumped into the room heading straight for the coffee machine. The cameras followed her as she pulled a mug from her bag and filled it to the brim with the bitter liquid gold. As soon as she added the sugar and creamer she needed she gazed at her watch gauging how much time she had before school officially started. With twenty minutes to spare she trudged over to the couch and sighed as she slouched into the chair pulling out some homework she wasn’t able to finish before bed. With the young woman’s attention focused on her work and coffee, she missed the green eyes that seemed to track her as closely as the camera did. Melissa watched as the fifth grade teacher busied herself with stacks of paper and a book. It didn’t look to be the work of her students, so Melissa’s curiosity peaked. She watched as the younger woman wedged a highlighter between her teeth and flipped through pages of tiny text. Her eyes moved across the screen frantically as if trying to memorize as much of the information as possible in the next 20 minutes. She didn’t realize how long she’d been watching until she felt Barb bump her shoulder subtly. Melissa’s eyes landed on Barbara and was instantly met with a soft smirk lining her friend’s lips. 

“Don’t look at me like that.” Melissa grumbled under her breath, peeking back over to the couch to see if the younger woman had relaxed a bit but she seemed to only have tensed more.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Barbara smirked allowing her eyes to fall to the younger woman as well. “It seems someone hasn’t mastered the ‘taking care of yourself’ part of all of this.” 

“What’s she working on anyway? It doesn’t look like anything the kids would be working on. I know she’s upstairs but they’d hardly be reading anything that long.” Melissa asked, finally turning back to Barb. 

“I’m not sure, but you know she’s still in school so that could definitely be some homework of her own.” Barb shrugged. 

“She’s still in school? What do you mean?” Melissa asked.

“She’s getting her masters. Which you’d know if you weren’t always being so standoffish. She does all her classes and coursework after we get off.” 

“I am not standoffish,” Melissa huffed indignantly, “I just don’t like new people.” 

“Mmhm, I don’t think that’s the case with one though.” Barbara grinned as she watched the red-head’s cheeks heat almost instantly at being called out.

“Oh shut up.” Melissa grumbled as the bell rang for the school day to finally start. She rose from her seat pointedly ignoring Barbara’s chuckle behind her as they made their way to their classrooms. 

-

“Alright, who has an answer they’d like to share?” Y/n asked from her place in the front of the classroom. Lunch was still about 10 minutes away but she wanted to at least finish the rest of the worksheet her students had been working on before sending them off. She let her eyes roam over the classroom patiently but as she saw no hands raise she knew she’d need to entice them a bit. “I know it’s hard you guys, but if we finish the last two problems I’ll let you head to lunch earlier.” 

She waited to see if anyone would take the bait and it seemed to work when Mariah raised her hand from the middle of the room. “Alright Mariah, what ya got for me?” 

“4 over 12.” She spoke timidly. 

“Uh Huh, and what’s 4 over 12 simplified?” Y/n prompted with a smile. Mariah seemed to be working through it but seemed a bit overwhelmed so Y/n opened it up to the rest of the class. “Anyone? What number can we divide both 4 and 12 by?”

“2.” Jamal called from the back row. 

“Yep, but is there a bigger number we could also use?” Y/n asked with a smile glad the students seemed to be getting closer and closer to the right answer. 

“Oh! I know.” Jasmine’s hand shot up from the front. 

“Alright Jasmine, what number are you thinking?” 

“4.” 

“Excellent! That’s exactly right. And if we divide them by 4, 4 over 12 becomes?”

“1 over 3!” Everyone answered. 

“Very good everyone. Let’s do the last one together and then we can head off.” Y/n smiled, heading to the white board and grabbing a marker. 

Melissa really isn’t sure how she found herself in the fifth grade hall. She’d dropped her kids to recess and somehow she’d found herself peeking through the glass window in the door of Y/n’s classroom. She watched as she patiently guided the students through the fractions. She could tell the students really appreciated the atmosphere she’d created in the classroom. Even when someone wasn’t right, there was nothing but support flowing through the space and Melissa had no choice but to admire the work she’d done to capture that. Realizing if anyone saw her up there she’d have no explanation for her behavior, she quickly turned on her heels to head back toward her classroom with the hopes of not being caught. In her descent of the stairs, she missed the camera man down the hall collecting footage.

-

Melissa hurried into the teacher’s lounge hoping to grab a snack before she needed to pick her students up from their art class. She pushed forcefully on the door and headed for the vending machine, letting the door swing behind her with little care. As the door clanged against the doorframe she heard the startled gasp within the room. She turned quickly with her fist up and ready to attack whoever was in the room. She only relaxed when she saw Y/n sat on the couch with her hand over her chest and wide eyes. There was a book in her lap and highlighter poking out of her hair. Melissa figured she was doing homework again but as she looked closer, she could see the grooved pattern of the couch fabric on the younger woman’s cheek. 

“Oh Melissa,” The younger woman sighed as she leaned back into the couch as she started to calm down. 

“Sorry Hon. Did I wake ya?” Melissa said, coming to lean on the back of the chair that was closest to the couch. 

“It's probably for the best. That was a complete accident.” Y/n shook her head a bit and pushed her hands down her face in an effort to liven up a bit. 

“Must not be too interesting, if it’s putting you to sleep.” Melissa commented, nodding her head toward the book still in Y/n’s lap.

“Unfortunately it is not. It doesn’t exactly help that I’m already sleep deprived. A recipe for a great nap.” Y/n chuckled lightly before turning her eyes to her watch. “Looks like it’s time for me to pick my kids up.” As Y/n gathered her things, Melissa watched and hummed in agreement. Once Y/n was done and her eyes met Melissa’s the older woman could see the exhaustion setting back in place. “See you around Melissa.” 

Y/n moved to walk past Melissa to the door, but Melissa hand wrapped around her forearm keeping her in front of her. “Hey, make sure you get some rest hon. We can’t have you collapsing on us like Janine.” Melissa squeezed her arm in emphasis and released her arm when she saw the younger woman nod in understanding.

-

From then Melissa found herself checking in with Y/n more often. She’d shed her ‘standoffish’ behavior and had become one of the teachers Y/n talked to the most. She never spent a lot of time with anyone on the elementary level teaching staff besides Barb, but now she seemed to be running into Melissa more and more. She’d be in the teacher lounge poured over a textbook or a stack of spelling tests and Melissa would appear with a hot mug of coffee. She’d gradually started bringing the younger woman lunch everyday of the week. It had started on a day about two weeks after Y/n had been caught napping on the couch. The fifth grade teacher had waltzed into the room carrying her laptop and textbook and that seemed to be it. It only took Melissa about 5 seconds of seeing her work on homework before she cleared her throat with a raised eyebrow. She, Y/n, and Barb were the only ones in the lounge so far so Y/n was quick to turn her attention to the older women’s table. 

“Oh hi.” Y/n said, meeting Melissa’s eyes. Assuming the redhead was upset she hadn’t greeted them when she arrived, she looked back at her work. 

 “Hello but that’s not what I wanted. Where is your lunch?” Melissa asked, eyeing the younger woman intently. 

“Oh I forgot it. I’m just gonna grab a snack after work to tide me over through class tonight.” Y/n shrugged, lifting the textbook from her lap. 

“You mean after school?” Barb cut in looking at the younger woman skeptically. 

“Mmhmm. No need to worry, I’ve done it loads of times before. I forget my lunch a lot more than I care to admit.” 

“Oh sweetheart, well that’s not healthy.” Barb said, shaking her head disapprovingly. 

“I know, I know. I try not to but I think I’ve done it so often that I hardly notice anyway.”

“Well that’s not happening anymore, get over here.” Melissa said, pulling out the chair next to her. Y/n looked at the older woman in confusion, not fully understanding what was happening. She didn’t move but watched as the older woman pulled a fork from one of the drawers and wedged it into the tupperware dish she’d been eating. When her eyes landed on Y/n’s face she looked at her expectantly. When the older woman didn’t say anything, Y/n grabbed her books and moved over to the older women’s table and sat in the seat obediently. With Y/n situated, Melissa slid the food in front of her and patted Y/n’s back, “Now eat.” 

Y/n went to protest but before she could even speak there was a fork-full of pasta in her mouth. Her eyes widened in shock initially but melted shut when the food hit her taste buds. “Oh this is so good.” At the praise Melissa smirked and went back to scrolling on her phone as Barbara laughed with a smile. From then on Melissa made it a point to pack a bit more food for lunch. And if Barbara asked about it she simply shrugged citing her large portion sized cooking as the reason. As Y/n and Melissa became closer, it seemed easier for the younger woman to take care of herself. With someone checking on her as often as Melissa had taken to, it became second nature. 

One day after a particularly demanding week of homework and tests, Melissa found Y/n sprawled out on the teachers lounge’s couch once again. It was a very similar scene to the first time but unlike last time, when the door closed Y/n didn’t start awake. If anything, she burrowed further into the couch and threw her arm over her eyes. Melissa paused briefly watching the younger woman sleep and sighed. She only looked at Y/n for a few more seconds before making her mind up. She sat her things at her table and pulled her jacket off of her arms. She walked over draping it across the younger teacher and then made her way to her table. She positioned her chair toward the door and watched the door. It wasn’t long before the door swung open revealing Janine ready to talk about God knows what, but as soon as her eyes met Melissa’s she closed her mouth. The older woman sent a menacing glare her way before placing her finger up to her lips. Janine, though confused, tip-toed further into the room and took a seat at one of the other tables in the room. By the time everyone was in the room, Melissa had quietly declared that the teacher’s lounge was experiencing a quiet lunch and with her reputation no one questioned her. 

The bell rang signaling the end of lunch and that seemed to be the only thing to rouse Y/n from her sleep. By this point everyone had made their way to their own classrooms and the only two people remaining were Melissa and Y/n. The younger woman groaned as she opened one of her eyes to scan the room. She paused briefly as her senses were overwhelmed with a very familiar fragrance. She looked down seeing the familiar leather jacket draped over her shoulders and felt her cheeks heat at being caught asleep again. Before she could say anything Melissa spoke leaning against the back of the chair next to the couch. 

“Good morning hon,” She spoke, leveling Y/n with a soft look of concern. “I thought we talked about you taking care of yourself?”

“We did, I’ve just been cranking out a lot of papers this week. Had an extra late night last night trying to finish one before the weekend.” Y/n explained placing her feet on the floor and facing the older woman. 

“Well when is it due?” Melissa asked moving to sit on the arm of the chair. 

“Not until Sunday night, but I use my weekends to plan for the week here and catch up on grading.” Y/n explained. 

“And when do you take time for yourself?” Melissa prompted. 

“When I sleep it’s just me and my dreams. So I count those few hours every night as self-care.”

“Haha, very funny hon. You know that actually does not count right? You just slept through lunch. I think we need to think of some new ways to make sure you’re getting things done. Ways don’t include skipping meals and hours of sleep.” 

“I slept through lunch? I slept through Janine’s latest life update and Jacob’s flailing? I really must be tired.” Y/n said, shaking her head before moving to rise from the couch. “And I gotta go get my kids for recess.”

“Don’t worry about that right now. I told Jacob to take them with his kids. And as much as I agree that you are extremely tired, the teacher’s lounge was having a silent lunch today. But I don’t think we can do that every day so we’re gonna have to figure something else out.”

“Jacob is taking my kids to recess?” Y/n asked, looking at the redhead in disbelief. Before Melissa could confirm, Y/n seemed to pick up on something else she said. “Wait, did you just say silent lunch?”

Melissa shook her head in amusement at the fifth grade teacher, “Yes to both. And before you ask how? Think about who you’re talking to.” 

Y/n nodded with red cheeks realizing the redhead had done quite a bit for her during her slumber. “Thanks.” She finally mustered up the courage to say. 

“You’re welcome, I’m glad to help. But I’d be even happier if you’d meet me halfway with this.”

Y/n nodded in understanding, “I’m sorry, I’ve always just been like this and I overestimate how much I can actually handle. I didn’t realize anyone would care so much.”

“Well I do. Listen, how about we find sometime to get you set up with a healthier schedule? I’ll even  make you dinner and everything.” Melissa suggested hopefully. “I’d really like that. I have to be honest,  I didn’t take you for the mentor type of the group.” Y/n said with a shrug unconsciously pulling the older woman’s leather jacket closer to her chest. 

“Oh I’m not. That’s definitely more of a Barb thing, but I have my moments. And my reasons.” Melissa smiled softly at Y/n. 

“Well I appreciate it and I won’t take your help for granted.” 

“Good girl. Now come on, recess is almost over.” 

Y/n’s cheeks heated at the older woman’s words before she nodded and stood to walk out of the door with the woman. Melissa collected her things from the table and grabbed a tupperware container from the fridge and met Y/n at the door. She pushed the food into her hands as she’d been doing for the last couple of weeks and moved to head out of the door. Just as they were about to cross the threshold of the breakroom she extended the jacket toward the woman. “Oh, probably need this back. Thanks.” 

“No problem hon, don’t leave before seeing me. We can find a night sometime soon. Alright?” 

“Yes ma’am.” Y/n saluted before both women parted ways. 

-

“Knock knock. You ready to go?” Barb asked as she leaned against the door frame of Melissa’s classroom. 

“You can go on without me, I’m waiting on Y/n. We’ve gotta figure out when she’s free.” Melissa said casually turning in her desk chair to face her best friend.

“You finally ask her out?” Barb asked with a smirk causing Melissa’s cheeks to heat. 

“What? No? What are you talking about? I’m just gonna help her figure out how to take care of herself a bit better.” Melissa sputtered. 

“Right because you’re so good at that yourself.” Barb rolled her eyes. 

“Hey! I’m pretty good. And you do the same thing with Janine.” Melissa defended.

“Yes, but I don’t want to take Janine to bed. We are not the same Melissa.” 

“Oh would you get out of here before she hears you!”

“You didn’t deny it!” Barbara grinned. 

“Bye Barb.” Melissa groaned. Barbara smiled in victory before sending a wink over to her friend and leaving the building. 

[im-leaking]

(NSFW) My hold:

8:27 pm: my tummy feels a little bloated from drinking that water bottle. Waiting for some more poll results and waiting to feel a little desperate before I start.

8:35 pm: don’t feel like I need to go yet, but my pussy is so wet and I’m excited 🤤

8:44 pm: starting to have to go potty. Touching myself is making it feel like I have to go more, but this time I will NOT let myself cum. I’m waiting for at least ONE MORE VOTE, but I think it’s becoming much more of a need and pressing my bladder is making it a little tricky. I’m not having an emergency yet, but…

8:47 pm: I’m ending and nearly came! 😣 I have to cum so badly now oh my goodness… I’m not allowed to before I pee.

8:52 pm: I can’t wait to get another vote so I’m gonna do some challenges. First I’m pressing my bladder against a table for 3 minutes on and off. I don’t have to go super badly, it’s not an emergency but it’s uncomfortable. I’m making an embarrassing humping kind of motion to press down on my bladder…

8:57 pm: running warm water over my pussy until 9pm. It feels so good but I’m throbbing and about to go potty 😣

9:00 pm: leaked a little. Now I dried off and put my undies back on. Have to hold my hand under warm water and wait a whole minute without leaking before I can pee. I’m squatted down legs open so it is not helping. Oops I already leaked! I can’t use my hands to hold.

9:04 pm: I let a little out to help me hold for the minute but couldn’t stop spurting I need to hold oh godddd….

9:20 pm: I just finished cleaning up. I ended up getting the spurts under control and was watching the clock. The second I made it to a minute, I started FLOODING my boxers and couldn’t help but whimper in relief. I peed for maybe 30 seconds and felt so good I took my undies off and started masturbating. I still had a little left in me so I pushed it out when rubbing and came so hard. 🤤 (the poll was at ‘wet underwear’ as the winning one, it may not be after this post. Next time I’ll wet in panties and a skirt because I really want to >_<)

[aristocratic-otter]

Welp, I wasn't going to post today...but then I realized that the final chapter of Heart in the Well will go up before Sunday, and that'll render the excerpt I carefully picked out obsolete by then. So I scrambled to pick bits from my other stories just so I could post this one excerpt. Go me!

The good news about Heart being done? I've got a new WIP plotted out that I'm super excited about, but I wouldn't let myself write anything until one of my WIPs finished. So next week or the week after, you should see the first words from that fic, a very very angsty Watford era canon divergence.

In the mean time, thank you to : @monbons, @messofthejess, @rimeswithpurple, @thehoneyedhufflepuff, @best--dress,

@nausikaaa, @youarenevertooold, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @artsyunderstudy, @j-nipper-95, and

@facewithoutheart for the tags over the last two weeks. I'm having so much fun reading and watching your stories and art. This is such an incredibly talented fandom, it's endlessly inspiring. Plus, I get to meet some of you soon when I see Rainbow in August!

Here's my teasers for this week:

Here’s one from each of my official WIPs

From Saving Simon Snow: 

I shake my head now, thinking about it. I’ll just have to keep close to Simon, or at least, as close as he’ll allow me. At least my vampire anatomy gives me an advantage there; I can listen to what’s happening with Simon from three rooms away (I won’t, unless it’s a matter of his safety. It’s a gross invasion of his privacy otherwise) (fortunately, I had to learn to tune out the chatter of my peers by my 2nd year at Watford, or I would have gone mad). 

From the Heart in the Well

He looks back at me and then frowns. “Well, come on then,” he says, impatiently. 

“Come on, what?” I say, exasperated. The water’s up to my breastbone now, and I’m starting to feel a little panicky, so my voice comes out higher pitched than I’d like. 

Now, he rolls his eyes. “I need your tie,” he says as if it were obvious. It was not obvious. “Take it off, please.” At that, I shiver a little. I never thought there’d be a day where Simon Snow would be telling me to take off my clothes.

From Snow Fox: Penny, learning you can’t go home again (especially if you’ve signed on with the Snow Fox)

I step onto the road and walk briskly towards the house I grew up in. I can tell when I’ve been noticed. Several heads swivel my direction, and the murmur of conversation in the camp ceases. I keep on as if I haven’t noticed however. As I draw closer, I nod distractedly at some of the boys nearer to my path. They don't nod back. They’re watching me with narrowed eyes and I shudder internally. What do they see when they look at me?

From TikTok Dancer: Quite a bit racier than what I usually post, but still Tumblr legal, I think

Years from now, if I, for some odd reason, try to explain how my first time having sex felt, I won’t be able to. There’s no describing it.  I’m planning to get a degree in words, for fuck’s sake, but right now, all language has left me, sailed back to England probably. I’m left with caveman grunts and desperate whines. Every particle of sensation in my body has gathered between my legs, and every atom of will I have left is devoted to an attempt to meld my body with his. I’ve almost succeeded–we’re nearly one creature now, moving in frantic, panting unison. 

From Stars, Flowers, and Children,

I know he’s been looking for me. I know he’s probably forgiven my great sin. He shouldn’t. Forgiveness requires that the person who receives it is contrite, is sorry for what they’ve done. 

I’m not sorry. I’d do it again today, if the circumstances were the same. 

Even being estranged from the only person in this world that I care about is still better than the permanent separation that would result if we were rescued. 

I believe that we’ll be friends again someday. Some day when the pain in my chest and stomach have dulled. And that day is worth waiting for.

From Cupid’s Shield:

I’m left gaping at where he just stood. It’s suddenly clear to me how much of his vampire abilities Baz has been hiding, because I was looking right at him. 

I never saw him move. 

All I know is suddenly he’s above me, and my arms are above my head and prisoned to the bed by his hands clamped around my wrists. I’m so stunned that I don’t even struggle. 

His knees are on either side of my hips, and he’s staring down at me like I’m his next meal. 

From my COBB project:

I know I should be worrying over tomorrow, and what my team will face out there. And I will be worrying over that—tomorrow. Tonight, I’m far more worried about the hours ahead. Hours of, once again, sharing a room with the only man I’ve ever loved. A man who’s never looked at me as anything other than a posh prick. 

That’s my fault, of course. It could have been different, all those years ago, when we first met at Watford Uni. I was excited, back then, to meet my roommate. Excited, and nervous. I freely admit I’ve had a privileged upbringing, and this would be the first time I’d ever shared a room. 

My childhood was mostly lonely, so I didn’t mind the idea. I’d thought it’d be nice to always have someone nearby to talk to. 

Of course, everyone knows how that turned out.

As others have said recently, please let me know if you no longer want to be tagged and I'll take you off of my tag list. Unless I hear otherwise, I assume you're like me, and like to hear from people even if you're not feeling like sharing yourself.

Tags and cheers to: @chen-chen-chen-again-chen, @bazzybelle, @dragoneggos, @erzbethluna, @palimpsessed,

@frjsti, @fatalfangirl, @letraspal, @martsonmars, @melodysmash,

@moments-au-crayon22, @moodandmist, @mostlymaudlin, @onepintobean, @raenestee,

@tea-brigade, @upuntil6am, @whogaveyoupermission, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @krisrix,

@shemakesmeforget, @confused-bi-queer, @nightimedreamersghost,  @thewholelemon, @angelsfalling16,

@noblecorgi, @hushed-chorus, @whatevertheweather, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @mooncello,

@wellbelesbian, @ic3-que3n, @shrekgogurt, @cosmicalart,  @cutestkilla,

@theearlgreymage, @alexalexinii, @prettygoododds, @blackberrysummerblog, @bookish-bogwitch,

@Iamamythologicalcreature, @emeryhall, @larkral, @ileadacharmedlife, @thewholelemon 

[lunalikestowriteanddraw]

Okay, I normally don’t post my art if I use a base as a starting point (which, I’ll be frank, I tend to do. Mostly just because I view them as dolls and they help me get character/outfit designs down), but yall. I had a fucking VISION. I started this yesterday at like 1 in the morning, didn’t stop until I finished the outline (at 3 in the morning), and I just finished it today (also at 1 in the morning…huh). And I am so fucking proud of everything in this and I just need to share oh my GOD

It’s he!!!! It’s human Kremy Lecroux!!!! And I know I don’t have his top hat, and that’s for a few reasons

1) the hair was already a learning experience on its own and I didn’t want to overcomplicate things and get myself frustrated because of it

2) the hairstyle I went with wouldn’t really allow for his hat

3) I can’t draw hats. Like at all. They always look like shit.

But anyway! I am so proud of the hair yall. I didn’t actually want this hairstyle, i actually wanted them to be down, but the hair just want hairing. The Timelapse doesn’t show the amount of times I hit the back arrow (which was a lot. Especially in the sketching phase. Especially for the hair), but it was A LOT. So I just kinda went with this. I think it fits Kremy though, probably moreso now than it would’ve before

Also, I used this watercolor brush when sketching out the hair, and then when it came to outlining, I traced over the individual brush strokes. I think it worked out beautifully. I then used that same brush later for the individual texturing when i started on the detail work.

Also, that tattoo on his neck was actually inspired by Kremy’s cane and Dr Facilier as a whole (I actually wanted to use the background of Dr Facilier’s shop during “Friends on the Other Side” as the background for this, but they all had Dr Facilier in the picture and I didn’t feel like copying all those details). That’s also the reason why I gave Kremy a shadow, instead of the thick white outline I have a tendency to do on my other works.

Also, notice the ring? I’m just gonna say that’s his wedding ring. Bc why not. It’s cute, it’s him, and the ruby in the middle is vaguely inspired by this fanart I saw on here that essentially had Kremy using his wedding ring as a makeshift lighter on the rare occasion his personal space heater of a husband isn’t there to light his cigarette for him. Just…ignore that it’s NOT on his left ring finger

(Btw, it’s also loosely based on my own personal headcanon—where essentially Kremy, Gideon, and the pixies all got these magical fae wedding rings that magically appeared on their fingers bc it was technically a fae pact so…)

And please ignore the hella inconsistent shading. I had intended on doing highlights as well, but I forgot. I also forgot his mustache. Ah well. I think you can still get the Kremy vibe without it lol.

Idk man I am just so fucking happy with this. I very rarely get so into a drawing that I just…draw. Like this. Most of my artworks lately are just simple shapes and flat colors.

[canonicallyobserving911]

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

Exciting update: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!” - Currently 25 chapters completed: 973.1K Words; Rated: Mature

__________

Exciting Update: The number of chapters for this fic has been increased from 30 to 40!

Before I explain why I increased the number of chapters, I would like to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU 😊🤗😁💕 to everyone who has been reading my massive multi-chapter fanfic and I would also like to say WELCOME to anyone who would like to begin reading it. I really appreciate everyone's supportive and encouraging words and please know that I read every AO3 comment that's posted and I respond to all of them.

This fic is Buck's and Eddie's FANON EPIC LOVE STORY and IMO, it has taken them places the show refuses to go!

I've loved every minute I've spent writing it and I'm looking forward to writing even more of it. Currently it's at almost 1 million words but when I first started writing it last year, I had no idea I would be this far along with it because my initial plan was for the fic to only be 12 chapters. Then I changed the amount in AO3 to undecided (?) but after I posted chapter 9 or 10, I decided 30 chapters would be sufficient.

However, after I completed chapters 24 & 25, I took a week or so to review all the things I want to include in it going forward. Once I did, I had to be honest with myself regarding the 5 remaining chapters because I realized they won't be enough. Therefore, I outlined everything that's still to come and decided to increase the fic by 10 more chapters so the Diaz family's story along with Buck's, Eddie's and Chris' individual stories will get the attention I believe they deserve.

At the end of 2023, I posted on Tumblr and indicated my plan was to finish the entire fic before the start of season 7 but that's not going to happen. Also, for those who have been reading along, I want to assure you that just because the new season is set to begin in three days, that doesn't mean this fic is over. It's NOT FINISHED because there's so much more I have planned for the characters and I will continue writing it until I've posted all 40 chapters. If my timeline works the way I'm hoping, my new plan is to complete it during the hiatus after season 7 ends but before season 8 (if there is one) begins.

There's so much more to come for Buck, Eddie and Chris and a quick reminder, just because Buck and Eddie are married and Buck has adopted Chris, all three of their stories will continue.

Here are of the things that still need to be completed.

Eddie's still working towards obtaining two more paramedic certifications so he can become the Critical Care Paramedic of Los Angeles County.

Chris still has to complete the video game he's working on with his classmates.

Buck is still on medical leave and after they returned to L.A.; he told Eddie he didn't know if he wanted to go back to the 118. The question is will he or is he going to find new employment? 👀

Furthermore, Buck and Eddie put a bid in on a house while they were in Italy. Are they going to get it? 🙃

Chapter 25 ended with a massive cliffhanger and the person who sent Buck the package still has to be revealed. 🥹

Finally, their vow renewal ceremony is scheduled for May 2024 and they're going back to Italy for the entire month of June. Adriana's sons are going with them but Buck and Eddie still have to talk with Chris about the University of Florence's summer program when he returns home and they still have to talk to Adri and Tonio to see if Chris' cousins can go too.

So, please believe me when I say there's so much more in store for them and that's why I believe adding 10 additional chapters will allow me to continue to tell their story in a way that's not rushed and I won't have to include any time jumps to fit it all in.

Thank you again for reading, commenting in AO3 and for reblogging the posts about this fic. I really appreciate everyone's support and encouragement.

AND REMEMBER... THIS FANFIC WON'T BE FINISHED UNTIL THE LAST CHAPTER HAS BEEN POSTED!

__________

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.

Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.

Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant. The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.

Chapter 18 - As Buck, Eddie and Chris prepare for family gatherings before and during the Thanksgiving holiday, the “Santa Ana Winds” start to blow and all sorts of expected and unexpected familial drama ensues.

Chapter 19 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to their wedding day, the universe begins to align everything so that some of their parent and children's relationships are strengthened while others come to an abrupt end.

Chapter 20 - With only 14 days remaining until Buck, Eddie and Chris depart Los Angeles, CA traveling to Rome, Italy, for their first family adventure, an early morning conversation about “tying up loose ends” helps Buck and Eddie realize there are still several things left unfinished on their ‘To Do’ lists. The question is will there be enough time to complete all of them?

Chapter 21 - Buck, Eddie and Chris are finalizing their ‘To Do’ Lists, double checking their itineraries and packing their suitcases in preparation for their trip to Europe so they can board their flight that departs Los Angeles, CA on Friday, December 15, 2023 at 3:25PM.

Chapter 22 - While Buck, Eddie and Chris spend the first 8 days of their European family adventure in Italy, their primary reason for going will be fulfilled as well as several others they hadn’t considered or anticipated.

Chapter 23 - As the Diaz Family continues their Italian family adventure, they’ll say, “Ciao” or hello and goodbye to a lot of things almost immediately after they become an official and legal family.

Chapter 24 - After Buck, Eddie and Chris arrive in London, England on December 24th; the Diazes immediately start preparing to spend their first family Christmas together. During their stay, each of them will hear a few choice words that will be the life raft to get them home to complete their searches to be seen and to be found.

Chapter 25 - After spending more than two weeks in Europe, Eddie, Buck and Chris are back in Los Angeles and they’re getting ready to attend Maddie and Chimney’s New Year’s Eve party. During the event, they have plans to make two surprise announcements but the question is, who’s really going to be surprised, the Diaz family or their found family at the 118?

Chapter 26 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Read chapters 1-25 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

[spacelazarwolf]

making a separate post but like. i don’t think some of y’all understand how genuinely traumatizing it is to have undiagnosed (or even diagnosed) adhd and go through school as the lazy stupid kid. i’ll tell you a little bit about what school looked like for me.

when i was in second grade, my teacher used to drag my desk up to the front of the class in the middle of lessons if i tapped my pencil or bounced my knee. she wouldn’t let me talk to any of my friends, and wouldn’t let me read my books when i was done with my assignments and was waiting for everyone else to finish. she would berate me in front of the whole class until i cried. her treatment of me got so bad my parents had to pull me out of school.

when i was in fifth grade, my teacher gave out “assignment alerts”, bright orange pieces of paper that indicated you’d forgotten to turn in an assignment. i was given dozens of these papers, and they started to build up, so it was harder to hide them. she would give these out in front of everyone in the middle of class, and she always made sure that when it came to me everyone knew i had the most. she would mock me in front of my classmates for my inability to keep up with homework and said that because my test scores were good it was because i was just lazy and didn’t care.

when i was in seventh grade, my teachers made me come up to the front of the class at the beginning and end of the period so they could inspect my assignment book and sign it, in view of the rest of my classmates, and announce whether or not i’d done my homework. when i inevitably forgot about assignments, they would berate me in front of the class.

when i was in high school, i wasn’t allowed to try to test into higher level classes because my teachers had decided that even though i did well on tests and papers, i wasn’t intelligent enough to take them because i couldn’t keep track of my assignments and deadlines. I was told over and over again that i was just lazy, and anytime i tried to explain what i later learned were symptoms of adhd i was berated and told i was making excuses.

when i was in college, i failed two classes my first year because i couldn’t keep up with the deadlines. the day before my second year, my best friend died, and i stopped going to classes. my teachers didn’t connect the dots because they assumed based on the previous year that i was just lazy and didn’t care about school. i failed several classes that year and never got the mental health assistance i needed, and my reputation at the school was pretty much shot. one teacher even went out of his way to try and fail me because he didn’t believe i deserved a degree. he tried to claim i’d plagiarized one of my papers to put a mark on my transcript. luckily he didn’t or i may have had to drop out. i had to do an extra year to make up for all the classes i’d failed, and barely graduated.

i did end up dropping out of my attempted masters degree (the only school that would take me with such a low gpa, and the only school that offered no scholarships or assistantships) because all of the teachers refused to give me any sort of accommodations, noting my bad grades from undergrad. i was given no patience or grace, my disability was not respected, and i had to drop out.

these experiences (which are just a handful of many) were so traumatic that they gave me diagnosed ptsd. i’m almost 30 and i’m still in therapy learning to cope with the horrifying levels of self hatred, anxiety, and dysfunction that my academic experiences gave me. i’m still learning how to even begin to function and take care of myself after i was told for so long by people who were supposed to help and support me that i didn’t deserve to succeed.

i fully understand how stressful it is to mask your neurodivergence in order to succeed, and how that can affect your mental health. i understand the high levels of anxiety and dysfunction in former gifted kids. i get that, and i respect it. but i’m honestly so tired of ppl trying to say there’s no difference in that experience vs. mine. that someone who had a 4.0 all through high school and college and got a good job is just as materially affected as someone who couldn’t just push through, who couldn’t make it through higher education, who couldn’t graduate high school, who can’t hold a job at all.

these experiences are all valid but they are DIFFERENT. and when the only people i ever hear about when talking about adhd are the former gifted kids, it makes me feel so incredibly alone. and maybe if there were a greater variety of voices and experiences that were showcased, people like me wouldn’t feel so isolated and self-critical. maybe we’d realize that we deserve grace and kindness too, even if we didn’t get to be the gifted kids.

[herofics]

Extra fluffy start of uni comfort, with StSg

I officially started uni today and I’m exhausted. (I was in an open uni program in the spring but now I’m officially in the sociology degree program) Anyway, I wanted to do more of my good Geto au (summary: Geto never went rogue, saved Mimiko and Nanako and brought them to Jujutsu High, and he stayed together with reader and Gojo). I needed double the comfort so I wanted to write more of this AU. I’m so fucking anxious about the whole uni thing, and I need some reassurance I’m doing okay and doing the right thing for myself. This is set when they’re all in their early twenties and the reader is starting uni. Who could’ve guess I’d write about what’s going on in my own life. I started writing this a couple of days ago and wanted to post this yesterday, but I couldn’t finish it because I had to go to sleep. No warnings on this one, just pure fluff and comfort

Word count: 1,6k

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” you groaned as you paced back and forth in front of the couch.

“You need to stop stressing about this. You’ll be fine” Gojo sighed as he and Geto watched your pacing from the couch.

“Can you guarantee that? Can you absolutely promise me I won’t totally embarrass myself or do something idiotic that will make all my classmates hate me?” you exclaimed with an annoyed tone.

“Well no, but-” Gojo started but you cut him off.

“Yeah, so don’t tell me not to stress, that doesn’t help me at all” you snapped.

“Satoru doesn’t mean anything bad by it, he just sucks at wording things in a good way” Geto said, giving the other man a disapproving side eye.

“I know, I know. It’s just that I haven’t really studied in a long time, and I’m also nervous about not fitting in. I know I get along with people okay, but that doesn’t mean they’ll like me or that they want to be friends with me” you sighed as you sat down between the two men on the couch.

“Like Satoru said, you’re going to be fine. You’re of course allowed to stress about it, but don’t drive yourself insane thinking about all that could go wrong, because those things you’re worried about are not likely to happen” Geto said, squeezing your thigh comfortingly.

Gojo was nodding furiously in agreement with Geto.

“Thank you, Suguru” you said and kissed him on the cheek.

“Hey! Where’s my kiss?” Gojo complained in his usual dramatic manner.

“You need to earn it” Geto smirked, as he pulled you closer to him by your waist, and away from Gojo.

“I think that’s up to her, more than you” Gojo remarked as he leaned closer to you.

You knew these two idiots both had the ability to be very competitive and possessive, and while it usually didn’t cause problems, there were times when it definitely did.

“Guys?” you asked as Gojo was basically looming over you and Geto was holding you against himself by your waist.

“Yes love?” Geto asked, still looking Gojo in the eyes rather than turning his attention to you.

“I’m really not in the mood for this right now” you muttered and got up from the couch, heading for the bathroom while muttering something about needing a shower.

Gojo and Geto just looked at each other with surprised expressions, before sighing in unison. If you weren’t in the mood, that was totally fine, but they wanted to help you relieve stress in some way.

“I don’t think she even knows what she wants or needs, but she needs us to help her, that’s for sure” Gojo grumbled as he threw his head back over the backrest of the couch. “Got any ideas?”

“I’m gonna go take a shower with her, and you’re going to make us some dinner” Geto said as he got up from the couch.

“Why do you get to take a shower with her, and I have to make dinner?” Gojo whined.

“Because you’re the best cook out of all of us and you just took a shower in the morning”

“That’s fair… I guess…” Gojo muttered with a pout.

“Stop being a baby about it and go cook something” Geto said, before pressing a kiss on Gojo’s forehead and disappearing after you to the bathroom.

Gojo sighed deeply and made his way to the kitchen, starting to look through the cabinets for something to use. He quickly realized none of you had been to the store for a while, so he had to do that too.

“Damn it Suguru” Gojo muttered as he grabbed his wallet and walked out the door.

Meanwhile, you were standing under the warm water, wondering if you really even wanted to get out of bed for the start of school the next day. You heard the front door slam before the bathroom door opened and someone pulled aside the shower curtain, stepping into the shower with you. He placed his hands on your hips and kissed your neck from behind.

“Suguru…” you mumbled, but your voice was drowned out by the rushing water.

“Let me help you”

“Mmmm, where did Satoru go?” you asked as you turned around to face him.

“The store I assume, he agreed to make dinner” Geto explained, his hands still on your hips.

“Ah, well then… How do you want to help me?” you asked as your hand traveled up his abdomen and stopped on his chest.

“I’d like to wash your hair, I know that relaxes you” Geto smiled, before closing the distance between your lips and kissing you softly.

“Hmm I’ll agree to it, if you let me wash yours” you complied as he pulled back.

“Certainly” he smirked. “But you first”

You sighed, but agreed anyway. You wet your hair properly before standing in front of Geto with your back to him. He squeezed some shampoo into your hair and started massaging it in.

You had to admit, he was right, it was very relaxing to have someone else wash your hair. It was such a nice form of intimacy. You almost felt like your head was melting as Geto kept massaging your scalp, it was so damn nice.

“Mmmmm” you muttered, leaning back against Geto’s chest.

“You really do like this, huh” he murmured, looking down at you.

“Mmmhhmm” you nodded with your eyes closed.

Geto just chuckled. It wasn’t bad for him either, he enjoyed making you feel good.

After a couple more minutes of him washing your hair, he moved his hands away from your head and spun you around. You almost protested, but you knew it wouldn’t last forever, and you wanted to wash his hair before Gojo came back home anyway.

“Sit down on the shower stool, you’re too damn tall” you commanded with a smirk.

“Yes yes, I’m aware” he rolled his eyes playfully as he sat down.

You slathered your hands in shampoo and started washing his hair.

Geto closed his eyes and just enjoyed your touch. He knew you had been stressing about starting university for months, but now that it was so close your stress was very high. He really just wanted to help you relax and make sure you were able to manage your stress in a healthy way.

You were just humming one of your favorite songs as you washed Geto’s hair. His hair was longer than yours, had been for a couple of years now. It was like silk. You had always wondered how his hair was in such a good condition, but you never were able to figure it out and he never gave you a straight answer either.

“Thank you” you whispered into his ear as you finished washing his hair.

“For what?” Geto asked as he stood up.

“For helping me destress a bit. It was nice” you shrugged.

“No problem” Geto smiled.

You both rinsed out your hair and got out of the shower. Geto wrapped you in a big bath towel and wrapped one around his waist as well, after drying himself first. You both wrapped your hair in smaller towels too and went to put some clothes on.

“I’m baaaaack!” Gojo’s voice rang out through the apartment as he opened the front door.

“Hi” you peaked your head out of the bedroom and saw him carrying two bags of groceries to the kitchen.

“Hey doll, you look better” Gojo smiled and walked up to you.

“I feel better too” you smiled and pressed a kiss on his lips.

“Hah! I earned it” Gojo celebrated, blowing a raspberry at Geto, which made you laugh.

“Yeah, yeah, go make dinner you child” Geto rolled his eyes.

“I was gonna do that anyway, not because you told me to” Gojo said mockinly and marched into the kitchen.

“You want some help?” you asked as you followed behind him.

“Sure” Gojo smirked.

You and Gojo made food, while Geto sat by the kitchen table, sipping a can of cider. He just watched and smiled as you and Gojo kept arguing about which vegetables to use, only to end up using all of them. Geto couldn’t help but keep smiling as he watched the two of you. Gojo caught every discarded piece of carrot you threw at him and threw them right back at you.

“I think we should finish making the food instead of playing with it” you noted.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. You two get cranky when you’re hungry” Gojo motioned at you and Geto with his spatula.

“No I don’t!” you and Geto exclaimed in unison.

“See, cranky” Gojo smirked with such a self satisfactory expression it made you want to throw another piece of carrot at him.

You and Geto looked at each other and then both of you proceeded to roll your eyes at Gojo. Who gasped very dramatically in response, before swiftly turning back to his cooking with a sassy: “How dare you?”

“Aaaw Suguru, I think the baby’s upset” you said sarcastically.

“No I’m not” Gojo argued meekly, which was obviously an act for attention.

Of course this worked like a charm. Geto got up from the table with a sigh and walked up to Gojo, wrapping his arms around the other man’s waist. You also glued yourself to Gojo’s side, before you and Geto pressed a kiss on each of Gojo’s cheeks.

Gojo was basically purring with delight as he finished cooking. He was such an attention whore, but you and Geto definitely fed that side of him shamelessly and Gojo absolutely relished in that.

The three of you ate, talking about whatever and laughing together. You felt so much better and you were barely even thinking about the things you were stressing about earlier. It was a fun evening and you were definitely able to destress thanks to both of them.

[goingbuggy]

I WAS THE ONE WHO SENDED YOU THIS

https://www.tumblr.com/goingbuggy/761553750450126848/i-need-you-to-drop-everything-i-have-to-tell-you

Sorry I didn’t think I sounded so aggressive. I was just really into it and I’m happy the person who tagged it was found!

I wanted to say thank you for answering and I love your theory and I still believe in this

I also could not stop myself and send this to someone else on twitter

Because I love both of your the most

They pointed out that shanks eyes being covered by shadows is always when he feels distant or displeased at something

(@homospike on twitter. I send it in the CC https://curiouscat.live/doctorstretcho/post/1362830222) here

Thank you and again I’m so sory I sounded like I demanded answers

Don't apologize for getting excited! I love it, and you didn't come across as aggressive at all. Moreso, I'm just a bit disappointed in myself for not having all the answers you're looking for.

Yes, Oda does consistently toy with shadows when it comes to Shanks-related panels, which I love; the sun is a vital symbol in One Piece, so Shanks and his connection to shadow adds good contrast with interesting implications. The closer a light source is to an object, the bigger the shadow will be, so to me, it makes sense that he is so often covered in shadow. Shanks is the person closest to Luffy who still blocks his path.

Oda likes playing into Shanks' enigmatic intrigue, and shadows are the easiest visual to trigger that sense of mystery. For a lot of people, this seems to signal evil intentions, but I disagree. I believe the shadows signify a sense of balance. Like yin and yang, Shanks and Luffy have a certain duality which allows them to coexist in harmony. Luffy paves the way in chaos, and Shanks navigates the fallout by virtue of his restraint and control. They need each other; Luffy's natural butterfly effect on the world often requires Shanks' intervention as a form of damage control, like how he stopped Kaido before Marineford and Greenbull after Wano. There is no one without the other.

I think their narratives reflect this too. Luffy quite literally exists because of Shanks. Without Shanks' sacrifice, Luffy would have either drowned or been eaten alive. Not only that, but Shanks is the source of a lot of Luffy's pirate aspirations; his existence is also linked to Shanks in a figurative sense. With Shanks, we only have bits and pieces to clue us in, but I believe the same goes for his character. Shanks exists to facilitate the "new era," and Luffy is at the forefront of that era, charging headfirst so that others may follow. They each owe their life purpose to one another.

These two consistently circle around each other, so it makes sense that their twin narratives function the same way. We already have an idea of how their relationship will conclude, after all; just like in the very first chapter, Luffy will give Shanks his hat back, this time as a man who has grown into a "great pirate." And not just any pirate, but the king of all pirates. They finish where they started, having changed anew. A hero's journey. A perfect circle.

[littlelovingideas]

“Let Me” 18+!!!!

Rick x Reader  - “Let me”

Alrighty.... here it is. I finally sat my ass down and got this done. If I didn’t make myself work on it, I’d have never finished it. And honestly.... I’m not sure how I feel about it yet, but I guess it’s because I haven’t had a chance to come back to it and see it from a fresh perspective.

Regardless, I am happy to finally post it and truly hope it meets your expectations, or that you at least enjoy it!

I burst through the door of my home causing a huge bang to ring out, and awkwardly hobbled over to the couch where I promptly dropped my duffel bag and myself.

The sudden commotion caused Rick to peer around the corner from the kitchen at me,

“You alright?” he questioned, concern spreading over his features

“Yep” I winced, gingerly pulling up my pant leg to examine my ankle. 

No swelling, no bruising... that’s a good sign. I am extraordinarily clumsy, so much so that it’s almost a running joke in the community of Alexandria. Why anyone ever allowed me out on runs, I’ll never know. But I guess when it comes down to it, I can do what I need to and that’s what matters the most.

“Hey, hey” Rick strode over, his face still taught with worry, “let me take a look”.

He kneels down in front of me and slowly takes my foot into his large hands. For a man who’s hands are so calloused and rough, his touch sure is delicate. The contact sends a jolt of electricity through my body, and I try to ignore the image of Rick kneeling before me. I swallow hard and stare at the ceiling, hoping to avoid my brain running away with that thought. 

“So, you gonna tell me what happened this time?”, he almost chuckled, and I simply rolled my eyes in response.

“Long story short,” I started, feeling a grin creep it’s way across my face, “I guess I forgot how to walk and tripped over a root. I rolled it pretty good. I just wish I had a cooler story”. His blue eyes flashed up at me, eliciting a short chuckle from him as he shook his head.

“Well, it doesn’t look like it’s sprained, so I think you’re safe.” He sighed, “As for how it happened, we can just tell people they should see the other guy.”

Rick winked at me, and a chortle escaped my throat at his comment. 

I’d been friends with Rick for a long time, ever since the prison. And I’d be lying through my teeth if I’d said I hadn’t been attracted to him since day 1, but when we met between Hershel’s farm and the prison he had much bigger, much more personal things going on. I wanted to be respectful and kept my distance, despite his marriage with Lori clearly being over. I knew the love he had for her ran deep, as did the love for the infant she’d been carrying.

I couldn’t help but wonder sometimes if he had similar feelings for me though. Every now and then, when I’d turn around, I could almost swear that his gaze was lingering on me before he’d swiftly turn around and resume what he was doing.

I still didn’t want to risk making anything awkward, or ruining the friendship that had bloomed between us, especially as we were currently sharing a house together in Alexandria. But once again I’d be an absolutely filthy liar if I tried to tell you that living in such close quarters with him and having such a domestic lifestyle didn’t cause my feelings to become stronger. It just felt so natural. So much so that I could see us having a life together of our own. I was great with Judith, and I’d nurtured a bond with Carl. I loved them both like my own. And yet, I couldn’t allow myself to admit my feelings for Rick, despite how naturally our friendship had flourished months ago.

I tore my mind away from my thoughts and back to reality, where Rick was still kneeled before me, with an eyebrow cocked and a questioning look emanating from his gorgeous blue eyes.

“What’s got you so deep in thought?” he questioned, in almost a teasing manner.I could feel the warmth radiating from his body.

I felt a mild blush start to creep across my cheeks as I just shook my head,

“Oh, nothing. Was just day-dreaming”, I fibbed. I wasn’t about to tell him it was about him, bu there it was... t I couldn’t help noticing that his gaze had also lingered momentarily. Just for a moment, but I was almost certain at what I’d seen.

He cleared his throat, before getting up and straightening out his pant legs,

“Well, your foot seems ok. Just try to keep it up and, maybe take it easy for the next few days. Lots of capable people here to go out for supplies.” He winked and I watched, almost hypnotized as his long, toned legs carried him back into the kitchen.

God, did I ever want to know what those thighs felt like beneath me.

My skin was still burning from where he touched my foot. I could almost still feel his fingers on me, gently caressing away any pain I’d had.

Once again, I shook my head, trying to get rid of those damn thoughts, and pulled myself off the couch and up the stairs to bed, calling out a quick “Good night” to Rick before disappearing over the landing..

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I awoke slowly, feeling the dryness of my throat.

As I came around, I realized the entirety of the house was silent and immediately knew it must have still been the middle of the night.

Ever since we got this house, Rick was adamant on allowing me the bedroom. I had tried to tell him I didn’t need it, but he was content enough just sleeping on the couch- and so sleep on the couch he did.

Sometimes though, I couldn’t help imagining what it would be like to share a bed with him, feeling his warm body next to me, our limbs tangled up with one another’s ... taking in his scent as we lay in bed together. Oh, his scent.

Sometimes, the thought of his warmth in the bed next to me would lead my mind to other things, like his weight above me, his blue eyes staring down at me intently. I tried to imagine how his face would look coated with lust. I tried to imagine his voice- I could only expect that it would be much lower and gravelly than normal. I sighed to myself as I felt my throat grow even dryer at the mental images my brain was producing, and flung the covers back to get a glass of water.

Slowly, I snuck down the hall, past Carl and Judith’s rooms, and down the steps. The hardwood floors were cool beneath my feet, and I enjoyed the sensation as I padded through the house to the kitchen. 

As I passed through the living room, I couldn’t help but notice Rick was still awake- he had the side lamp on and was stretched out with a book in-hand. I spotted the title and immediately recognized it as one I’d brought back from my run earlier. A smile crept across my face as I continued on into the kitchen.

I took a few moments to drink my water, and take in the silence of the house. The silence. It’s something we didn’t get much of in the prior months, or even years, since the beginning of all of this. Sometimes, it was almost deafening. But most of the time, it was extremely welcome. I sighed contentedly, and headed back through the living room where Rick was still seated, but this time he was resting the book in his lap and his eyes were fixed on me.

Maybe it was the dim lighting from the lamp next to him, but his eyes seemed softer than usual.

I grinned, trying to ignore the slight awkwardness creeping up inside from not knowing what to do.

“So, I see you like the book?”

“Yeah”, he replied, his voice softer than I’d ever heard it, “It was one of my favourites.”

“Yeah, I remembered you telling me about it, a while ago and couldn’t help picking it up yesterday. I knew you’d enjoy it”.

His eyes were still trained on me, his gaze nearly burning a hole through me. I subconsciously toyed with the hem of my sleep shirt, feeling mildly awkward and not knowing what to do.

A thick silence filled the room.

“Well,” I cleared my throat, “I’m glad you like it, get some rest and I’ll see you bright and early as usual.”

Just as I turned to go back up the stairs, Rick’s voice rung out, slicing into the silence in the room, calling my name.

I stopped and turned back around, only to see him on his feet and striding over to me. His bare feet not making a sound despite how quickly he was upon me. 

Before I knew it, Rick was towering over me, his eyes boring into mine. His scent overwhelmed my senses, and the warmth radiating from his torso was making my head spin.

His eyes were darker than I’d seen them before, keeping me entirely in a trance with no idea what to do or what to say.

I lightly gasped as I felt his hand come to rest on my waist.

The tension between us was almost electric.

“Rick, I-” I stammered, but he cut me off, gently shushing me.

“I see the way you look at me”, he stated, “I see it all the time, and I’d be a fool not to notice-.”

I felt my cheeks get insanely hot, and prayed to all that was holy that it wasn’t visible in the darkness.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you-”

Again, he cut me off,

“No. You have nothing to apologize for. I was going to say I’d also be a fool not to feel the same way”, he chuckled quietly, biting his lip, “I see what you do for me, Carl and Judith. Always going out of your way for us. Doing more than you need to”.

I looked at the floor for a moment, thinking about his words- and he was right. Always picking up something that I thought one of them would like, whether it be comics for Carl, some toys for Judith, for Rick- books, clothing, favourite snacks, etc.

I guess I’d never really acknowledged it but I had a deep-seated desire to take care of the man who so tirelessly took care of everyone else. Call it what you will, but I realized I loved this man and must have been inadvertently showing it this entire time.

My cheeks burned as the sudden reality washed over me.

I felt a calloused finger make the most gentle contact with my chin, and pull my face up to look him in the eyes again. 

He didn’t blink. His gaze never faltered. The hand that was under my chin slowly but surely made it’s way to the base of my neck, where he firmly, yet ever so gently pulled me towards him.

I was like putty in his hands at this point, my entire body was on fire and I could barely process what was happening. Time felt like it was moving in slow motion.

Our faces were so close, I could just barely feel his lips ghosting over mine. His smell was so intoxicating. He hesitated for a moment,

:”Is this okay?”

I barely skipped a beat, nodding my head vigorously. 

With that, he closed the gap between us and pressed his lips against mine. They were soft. So incredibly soft.

Rick was always such a rough and tumble guy, and despite having seen him with Judith and with Carl, I was almost shocked with how soft and gentle he was being with me.

Electricity surged through my veins. My head swam. The room spun.

Our lips moved against one another, slowly growing more passionate, sighs beginning to tumble from our lips between lingering kisses.

My hands snaked their way up his chest, pausing for a moment so I could savour the warmth radiating from under his shirt. His shoulders were broad and I could feel his muscles gliding under his skin as his hand worked through my hair.

I had touched Rick before- being friends for years, this was nothing new to me- but this situation felt incredibly different. I’d never touched him in this way, while allowing my desire to guide me.

The warmth of his body was causing the fantasies from earlier to return in full force, fueled by the sound of his breathing becoming heavier and the closeness of our bodies. 

Slowly, he pulled away and met my gaze. A shaky breath escaped my lips. 

“Are you sure this is okay?” Rick asked, his blue eyes absolutely burning into mine.

Slowly, I stepped forward until our bodies were pressed together, holding Rick’s gaze.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything.”, I state boldly, while simultaneously questioning where this sudden confidence was coming from. 

My breath hitched as Rick’s strong hand squeezed my waist and pressed my body even tighter to his, and in the dim lighting I saw a smirk begin to work its way across his beautiful lips.

Before I knew what was happening, his strong hands made contact with the backs of my thighs and within one swift movement I was no longer on the ground, and instead, resting on his hips. 

I could feel his strong fingers massaging my ass, while balancing me perfectly against him and giving my aching core a sense of relief as I felt his cock pressing against me. Suddenly, I was aware of just how wet I was for him, and could wait no longer.

My mind flooded with things I’d only been able to dream of before, but now, it was really going to happen. I could no longer wait to finally see his beautiful face contorted with pleasure, or hear his voice low and rough, thick with lust. I needed to feel his weight above me, and allow him to fill me completely.

The thought made my pussy twitch, and I gasped as I felt his cock return the favour beneath me. 

“Rick” I gasped, my fingers tugging at his soft curls, “Take me”. 

He growled.

“Shit, I thought you’d never ask”, and with that, he wasted no time heading for the stairs.

Moments later, he was crashing into the bedroom, our lips still colliding and my small frame still held tightly against his tall, muscular body, panting and gasping during our passionate exchange.

The entire time I could feel my pussy twitching as every step he took pressed his cock right into my needy core before tumbling onto the bed with me still in his arms.

Not wasting another moment, my fingers began frantically undoing the buttons on his shirt, hungrily grasping at the material and yearning to feel his skin on mine.

His hands were so large and warm as they slid beneath my shirt, gently grabbing and squeezing the soft flesh of my sides. I felt so small beneath his touch, and the feeling only turned me on more. I wanted to submit to him entirely.

I watched as he sat up for a moment and let his gaze trail down my body to  admire the scene before him, his piercing blue eyes stopping for a moment as they caught sight of my nipples pressing through the delicate fabric of my shirt. His eyes were full of lust, and what also seemed like disbelief as he continued to take all of me in.

His hands worked my shirt up further, exposing my midriff and my hips. He pressed his fingers into the softness of my stomach, and slowly, agonizingly trailed them downwards to play with the hem of my panties.

They were plain. Cotton. A simple bow in front. And yet he looked on admiringly regardless.

He continued staring intently, and I began to squirm under his gaze, simultaneously turned on and feeling slightly self conscious.

His eyes flashed back up to mine and he must have noticed my inquisitive look, because continued dragging his hand downward until he traced my slit over the fabric, causing me to buck my hips and stifle a whimper. 

Rick sucked in a breath as I felt him press his thumb gently against the pooling wetness in my panties.

His cock twitched in his pants, tearing my focus away from his face and I felt my eyes widen at the size of what I would be working with. His cock was so hard that I could see a clear outline of his shape straining against his thigh. 

My needy cunt clenched and our eyes flickered to one another, knowing he felt it as he toyed with my slit some more. His touch was agonizingly slow and delicate, so much so that it almost irritated me.

Without warning, while holding my gaze, he pressed against the now clear wet spot and a slight sigh tumbled from his lips as he felt the slick seep through the fabric and coat his fingers.

My jaw fell slack and I thought I saw a trace of amusement flit across his features as I felt my eyelids flutter at the sensation.

“Baby” I breathed, “Please, touch me”.

Rick’s head tilted back and his adams apple dipped as he swallowed hard, trying to stifle a moan at my sudden words before allowing himself to fall forward over me and staring me directly in the face.

Once again, his eyes were boring into mine and I could do nothing but stare back.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this” I murmured, “I’ve thought about your touch more times than I can count”.

His eyes only seemed to darken more as he took in my words.

“Oh yeah? That all you thought about darlin’?” he growled in my ear.

My tongue trailed over my bottom lip before I responded,

“No”.

Rick smirked and cocked an eyebrow, moving my panties to the side and ever so slowly feeling soft flesh of my lips.

“Tell me what else”.

I gulped. Suddenly, his eye contact intimidated me. I gathered my strength, and slowly mustered out the words I know he’d been waiting for,

“Your cock”, I sighed,

Immediately he knelt down the rest of the way and the tip of his tongue parted my lips, ghosting lightly over my most sensitive bundle of nerves, just as delicately as the words ghosted over my lips.

Immediately I bucked my hips again and my hands hungrily tangled themselves in his hair. One had continued to hold my panties to the side, and slid a large finger inside my desperate centre. He slowly worked his other hand up to massage my inner thigh. 

“Good girl” he murmured against my cunt.

“You take such good care of us” he continued, barely above a whisper “Now let me take care of you”

I inhaled so sharply as his lips formed a seal around my clit and he graced me with a moan- the vibration and sound combined to send me into a frenzy, my vision going white for a moment.

I felt him chuckle against me, as he continued to pump his finger in and out of me, before sliding another one inside in one fluid motion.

My fingers pulled his hair and I no longer had control of my body as my hips bucked and squirmed, trying to grind into him. He gratified me and pressed his face into my soaking wet centre once again, his tongue expertly attending to me where I needed him most.

Just then, without warning, he pulled away to tower over me once again. 

I whined at the sudden absence of his touch, and felt my pussy clench for the millionth time around nothing as he licked his lips and dragged the back of his hand across his mouth.

I felt my eyebrows furrow and had to resist the urge to pout at his sudden withdrawal, because as much as I was disappointed to lose his touch, I also knew what was coming next.

Just as I suspected, his hands went straight for his belt and expertly undid it in one expert movement.

I watched as he undid his button, zipper and then slowly slide his pants down.

His cock finally sprung out, and I felt myself salivating at the thought of taking him into my mouth, my eyes locked onto his length, staring hungrily.

I couldn’t tell what I wanted more- to feel his cock in my mouth, or to feel him stretch out my soaking cunt, and I think he could tell.

“Easy, girl” he bit his lip, slowly rubbing himself a couple of times through his boxers, looking at me with clear amusement on his face yet again. 

“Rick”, my voice was much lower than I anticipated, “Take it off”.

He smirked again, hooking his thumbs into his waistband and taking his sweet time working his boxers down over his hips- doing so agonizingly slowly over his shaft, watching me closely to gauge my reaction.

“Rick“, his name came out as more of a squeak, “Please. I need you”.

He paused for a moment, contemplating whether he was going to adhere to my demands or not, clearly feeling cocky.

Finally, he decided to give me what I’d asked for and freed himself- my jaw fell open as I finally got to take in the beauty of this man in his purest form.

My mouth watered, and without waiting, I was up on my knees and crawling towards him.

I hesitated before taking his thick cock in my hand - the sheer size made my hand look so small. His cock twitched in my hand, as I admired each and every inch of him. His cock was even more beautiful than I’d imagined, and unable to wait a second longer, I took him into my mouth.

His head fell back and I heard his breath catch as the head of his cock made contact with my warm tongue. I began slow- swirling my tongue gently around his head, taking in the warmth and savouring the taste of him. While I worked the head with my tongue, I gently pumped his shaft with my other hand.

A string of curse words spilled from his lips between pants and poorly stifled grunts.

His cock twitched in my mouth as he fought the urge to thrust into my throat. I placed my other hand on his toned thigh to brace myself, allowing my thumb to massage small circles into his skin.

I formed a seal with my lips and let him fall from my mouth with a gentle ‘pop’, before working my way down, dragging my lips down the underside of his dick, and then flicking my tongue back up his length, following the most beautiful vein I’d seen, before placing the lightest kiss to his tip which was soaked in precum.

At that, his hand effortlessly found its way into my hair and collected a handful. I allowed my lips to part for him, and took in as much of him as I possibly could, letting my jaw fall open as far as it could, and trying to accommodate hm into my throat as best I could without gagging. 

His grip in my hair tightened and he briefly thrusted into me as he lost control of himself for a moment, causing me to gag, and his cock to twitch a few times at the sensation of my throat contracting around him.

My tongue flicked up and down, while I also bobbed on his dick, wanting to give him the best sensation I could.

Just then, Rick pulled my hair and removed me from his dick. Forcefully.

I looked up at him, and my attention turned to my own pussy and how much I had drenched my underwear and my thighs. I loved looking at him from this angle, it felt so god damn erotic.

“Stop. I’m supposed to be taking care of you” he hissed.

“Sorry”, I shrugged, “I couldn’t help myself”

Rick chucked darkly and tilted his head,

“I had no idea you were such a giver.” 

I had no response, I just smiled back proudly, knowing just from his response that I’d already exceeded his expectations.

After another moment, I turned my attention from his eyes back to his cock, and realized it was truly the most incredible thing I’d ever seen.

I couldn’t get enough. He was the perfect combination of hard and strong, but also so smooth in my mouth.

“I love tasting you”. I didn’t even think before responding, and my eyes widened at the words that just fell from my mouth.

“Fuck” he growled, “Bend over”

He grabbed me firmly and flipped me over in one fluid movement, pressing his hand down on my back to signal me to bend, with which I complied.

I spread my legs and buried my face into the pillow just in time, as he immediately also buried his cock in my pussy. The stretch was incredible, and I cried out as my pussy suddenly had to adapt to his size.

The strength of his cock was even better in my pussy, and feeling how hard he was absolutely drove me insane. The pillow muffled what would have been an uncontrolled moan, and I felt his strong hand slap my ass before kneading into me again.

His dick twitched and throbbed inside me, while his hands gripped my hips. His thrusts were sloppy, and his other hand worked it’s way around to my front and found that little nub between my legs.

Feeling his weight behind me, the pads of his fingers expertly working me, his thrusts sloppy and hard, and the soft, restrained moans and grunts tumbling from his lips and into my ears was nearly too much to take.

I felt my cunt contracting around him, and I know he felt it too as he pulled out and roughly slammed back into me, the sound of skin on skin slapping filled the room, along with our ragged breathing and the occasionally profane exclamations.

“Fuck baby” he grunted, as his pace quickened, “You feel so good”. 

His fingers continued to rub circles into my clit, adjusting to my responses and reactions. He began to put more pressure and the circles matched tempo with his thrusts.

I felt my stomach begin to tighten, and that familiar jolt of pleasure signalling the arrival of my climax. I shoved my face back into the pillow and cried out as my cunt began to twitch.

:”Cum for me babe”. he groaned

“Please” I cried between gasps, “Please cum in me.”.

I tried to hold back on my climax, until I felt his cock begin twitching as well and he could no longer control his moans and grunts.

I finally allowed myself my own release, and Ricks hands grabbed my ass as hard as he could while we both rode out our high’s together.

Eventually, his thrusts slowed, and we both collapsed onto the bed- him on top of me, and his cock still twitching lazily inside of me.

He placed a kiss to my cheek and sighed contentedly before rolling off me and pulling my small body into his, holding me protectively and stroking my hair, before we eventually drifted off together.

I was absolutely looking forward to this new dynamic, and couldn’t wait to continue taking care of each other.

[elementary-my-dear-daddy]

Cafe

Analoceit (Virgil, Trans!Logan, and Janus)

Warnings: D/S dynamic, Edging, Vibrators, Exhibitionism/In Public

Read it on AO3!

This fic was inspired by this post by @pupplaylogan! Hope ya like it Revy :)

Summary: Janus and Virgil take Logan on a date to a cafe to try something new. Hopefully he'll be able to finish his drink with a vibe in his underwear and a lot of teasing.

“Are you guys ready to go?”

Virgil asked, waiting in the doorway of the bedroom, watching as Logan and Janus were getting ready. The three of them planned a brunch date at a local cafe that morning, since their date nights lately consisted of parallel play that left them wanting more interaction from each other. Sure just sitting together drawing, reading, and crocheting together was nice, but it was getting a bit old and they needed a change of scenery.

“Almost.” Replied Logan from their bathroom, fixing his hair and tie in the mirror. Janus had walked out from the closet half-dressed to meet Virgil, “Why don’t you go start the car, love, we’ll be out in a sec.”

Virgil shrugged and went to go grab the keys. Once he left, Janus hummed and turned to Logan, “You look absolutely ravishing, darling.”

“Hm? Oh, thank you Jan-mmph!” Logan tried to respond only to be cut off by his boyfriend shoving two fingers into his mouth. Janus donned an ear-splitting grin as he looked down at the other, “I think you might be missing a few things though~”

~~~~~~~~~~

Virgil was just about to go in to check on the two when they stepped into the garage. He noted Logan’s new manner of dress, a size-too-big knit black sweater, indigo pencil skirt, black tights, heels, and the thin silver choker he and Janus got him for their 3 year anniversary. Of course Janus had to indulge in his dress-up kink right now. He rolled his eyes affectionately as the two piled into the car.

“I was gonna ask what took so long but I think I figured it out.” Virgil said, starting to pull out of the driveway and drive down the road. 

“What? I couldn’t help myself! I love how flustered it makes him.” Janus glanced back at Logan, who had both his arms and legs crossed while he looked out the window. It was just then when Janus pulled out his phone and opened a special app that would allow him to control the vibe currently resting against Logan’s clit. They were still traveling in the residential area they lived in, and as soon as they drove over a speed bump Janus would turn the vibe up onto its max setting momentarily.

Logan let out a squeak and grabbed at his crotch, the feeling gone almost instantly. A blush formed across his cheeks as he met Virgil’s eyes in the rear-view.

“You good, L?”

“Y-yeah. Yes, I’m fine. Apologies, the speed bump, uh, scared me.” 

Virgil looked between him and Janus, “Hm. If you say so.”

Logan sighed and bit his lip. It happened twice more before they arrived at the cafe, but he was able to hide his noises after the first occurrence. 

Virgil had pulled into a spot up front and parked the car. Janus got out first to open the door for Logan, who gave him a glare as he got out. As soon as the car was locked (8 extra times, so Virgil was sure it really was locked) Janus had pulled out his phone again and set the vibe on a low setting. Logan still had a visible reaction, walking with a different cadence with his hands straight at his sides. Virgil kept an eye on him as he walked trying to figure out what was going on with him. 

“Lo?”

“Mhm?”

“What’d he do to you before we left?”

“Oh, Virgil, don’t be such a worrywort. We just wanted to have a little fun today!” Janus smiled at the two of them, a glint of mischievousness in his eye. 

Virgil squinted at him, “He isn’t acting normal and he was before I left to start the car which means you’re behind this.”

“What ever could you mean?” Janus walked into the cafe with a wink.

Virgil and Logan followed, the former helping Logan by taking his hand and leading him in. They approached the cash register to order their drinks, with Janus quickly taking the lead. When it came to Logan’s turn, he felt the vibrations increase even more. He cleared his throat and managed to stutter his way through his order, fortunately not receiving more attention than a question about whether or not he wanted his drink hot or iced. 

Logan tugged on Janus’ sleeve like a shy child as Virgil ordered and paid. He got close and whispered, “May I go sit down?”

“Ask nicely.” Janus replied.

“May I please go sit down, Master?” Logan whispered behind gritted teeth.

“Well, I suppose so. Go on.”

Logan rushed over to a booth in the corner of the cafe, tucked in the back so no one would see him hide his head down in his folded arms and shallowly thrust against the vibe. Soon both his lovers found him with drinks in hand, Virgil sliding next to him while Janus casually sipped his drink from across the table.

“Alright, quit dodging the question. What did you do?” Virgil questioned, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Janus huffed, “Must you always ruin the surprise? Fine. I made him wear his favorite vibrator and dressed him up. And planned on teasing him mercilessly till we went back home. But am I really at fault here? Look at him, he’s loving this!”

Virgil looked down at Logan, who currently had one hand in between his thighs to soothe the assault on his clit and one over his mouth to prevent any noises from slipping out. He rubbed his back as he realized what was happening.

“Jesus Jan, you really are a sadist.”

“Oh please like you’re not the one to give him a bruised ass and scratch marks.” Janus said while mindlessly amping up Logan’s vibe further.

“Only when he begs me for it.” Virgil smirked and made Logan take his hand away from his thighs, instead replacing it with his own, “Right, L?”

“Mmm, Uh-huh. Oh fuck Janus~ ”

“You’re so tense, baby. Why don’t you take a sip of your drink?” Janus offered Logan his cup. He managed to hold it and take a shaky sip, setting it back down quickly. 

Virgil reached underneath his skirt, running two fingers down the length of his cunt through his underwear, “You should feel him, he’s fucking dripping.”

“Aw, well we don’t want him making too much of a mess, do we?” Janus immediately turned the vibe off, causing Logan to emit a loud whine. He bucked his hips into Virgil’s hand, who moved to tease and pinch his thighs instead, “Calm down, L. We’re in public . You don’t wanna get caught, do you?”

Logan shook his head, “No, Sir.”

Virgil put an arm around him, meanwhile Janus just gave him a cheeky grin, “Logan, sweetheart, would you be a dear and go grab me a few sugars and a stirrer?”

“Um, can’t Virgil? He’s closer and he’d have to get up already-”

“I didn’t ask him, I asked you. Don’t make me ask again.” Janus spat with a much darker tone.

Logan looked between him and Virgil, biting his lip and nodding, knowing that Janus was going to make this difficult. Virgil got up and allowed Logan to scoot out, at least he could be thankful they didn’t make him crawl under the table. As soon as he stood, the vibe started again, making a wave of pleasure rush through his body. His legs felt weak, but he just had to put one foot in front of the other to get to the station at the front with helpings of sweetener and other various drink add-ins. Simple.

It was, in fact, not simple whatsoever. Janus put the vibrations on an oscillating pattern so every step made him want to drop to the floor and whimper and moan. He was sweating by the time he grabbed a handful of sugar packets and a stirrer. He had to pause before deciding to just book it back to the table.

Logan was greeted with Virgil and Janus snickering in the corner, watching him struggle back. He practically collapsed into Virgil's side when he sat down, slamming Janus’ request down in front of him. His boyfriends just chuckled.

Virgil reached down beneath his skirt again, “Is there something wrong, babe?”

“ ‘S so much, please. ” 

“You don’t even know what you’re begging for, huh?” Virgil asked, pressing the vibrator harder against him

“Ahhhh~ please Sir, ‘m close!” 

“Really? You’re gonna cum in public like some pathetic whore?”

“ Yes. ”

Virgil and Janus shared a look. Janus pulled out his phone and ramped the vibrations up to max. Finally, Logan would be able to tip over the edge and this merciless teasing would be over!

All at once the vibrations stopped, suddenly deriving him of any relief.

“No no no no no -” Logan tried to buck his hips to seek any friction, but Virgil's strong hands pinned him down and prevented him from doing so. He whined and rested his head down on the table in front of him.

Janus leaned down to be at his eye level, “You’ll get off when we let you. And that certainly won’t be in public where anyone can see.”

He slid out of the booth and stood, “Come on, maybe we should just go home. I don’t see you being able to last much longer out here.”

Virgil gave Logan a nudge, who in turn just groaned. He felt like he was about to turn into a puddle of goo if he was edged any more and his legs barely worked. 

“Up, Lo, I’ll carry you once we’re home. C’mon.” Virgil gave him another push.

He finally mustered the strength to stand, and with the help of Janus and Virgil, he made it to the car. After Virgil made on his promise to carry Logan into the house, the rest of the night was filled with more teasing torture. He would groan and beg for his doms to let up, only to be met with tasks to fulfill while his toy still continued to vibrate. 

They’d need to do this more often.

[moonlightandmarble]

Give Me The Night-Prelude Nocturnus

I posted this on AO3 under the same name but if you're allergic to the site or just want to read on tumblr here it is. Again this is part of an ongoing AU with @costumersupportdept

Desperate to save Vessel, III, and IV from Sleep's domination, II makes one last ditch effort and summons forth Night herself. Because who better to beat a god, than another god?

Prelude:

ii smoothed out a wrinkled and torn bit of aged paper with slightly shaking hands. The writing was barely legible in the dim light of his single candle, but that’s all he could allow for. He already was risking too much as it was, and he kept looking over his shoulder, almost certain at any moment that he would be found out. That the door would be wrenched open and he would be dragged kicking and screaming across the Beach and into the cold depths to be shredded apart by tooth and tentacle.

And that was if he was lucky. If he were unlucky then the punishment would be much harsher, and much more prolonged.

“I must be absolutely mental. Nothing is going to happen…but if nothing is going to happen, why am I about to piss myself in terror?”

He shuddered, and squeezed his eyes shut of the mental images that had been etched into his mind. The ones that played out over and over again whenever he tried to sleep. Vessel screaming wordlessly in the sea while ii was screaming himself, reaching out for him but too far away to help. And then there was nothing but blood, the tide churning and stained crimson. Vessel nowhere to be found.

As horrific as the images were they were a reminder as to why he was doing this. He was starting to lose count of how many times Vessel had died and washed up on the shore days later, but more and more lately when he came back he was…changed. More of his memories were missing, and it was taking longer for him to recover. It filled ii with dread, but also anger. And the anger was winning out against the fear he had of Sleep’s potential punishment for him. At least with IV and III away only he would get the blame if he were caught. But they wouldn’t be away for long, and he didn’t have any more time to waste.

He bent over the paper, squinting. He had gone over the words it felt like 1000 times already, but he wanted it to be perfect. He cleared his throat, stilled his thoughts, and in a voice barely above a whisper spoke the hymn,

“Nyx, parent goddess, source of sweet repose, from whom at first both Gods and men arose, Hear, blessed Kypris, deck’d with starry light, in sleep’s deep silence dwelling Ebon night! Dreams and soft case attend thy dusky train, pleas’d with the length’ned gloom and feaftful strain. Dissolving anxious care, the friend of Mirth, with darkling coursers riding round the earth. Goddess of phantoms and of shadowy play, whose drowsy pow’r divides the nat’ral day: By Fate’s decree you constant send the light to deepest hell, remote from mortal sight For dire Necessity which nought withstands, invests the world with adamantine bands. Be present, Goddess, to thy suppliant’s pray’r, desir’d by all, whom all alike revere, Blessed, benevolent, with friendly aid dispell the fears of Twilight’s dreadful shade.”

He sighed as he finished, before reaching out to pinch the wick of the single candle, casting the room into total darkness. What was done was done, and now he needed to wait.

The room was so quiet that the ocean tide sounded like it was a far off memory, and the sound of his own heart thudding in his chest became deafening. Still he waited.

And he waited.

And he waited a little more.

He heaved a great sigh of disappointment, “Great. Another failure, and now I’m sitting here in the dark talking to myself like an idiot. At least no one can see me making an ass of myself.” He stood up and reached blindly for a match to relight the candle, when a soft smoky voice spoke from directly behind him,

“Hello.”

His heart jolted and he nearly screamed, just managing to stop himself by clamping a hand over his own mouth as he whipped around to look behind him.

The wall behind him was dark of course, just as the rest of the room was, but somehow not as dark as the shadow that was stretching up it, moving like liquid and shaping itself into a vaguely human form, two lights like distant stars where the eyes should be. The shadow began to solidify, taking on the shape of a tall woman crowned with lyre-shaped horns, inky wings stretching out behind her before reshaping themselves into a velvety cloak. Now that she was becoming more…physical…he saw her eyes were reflective like a cats, and she yawned, revealing a mouth filled with too many teeth, sharp ones that that. He slowly lowered his hand from his mouth as he looked up at her, and it took everything in him to not turn and bolt as she took at step towards him,

“Why have I been summoned?”

He stammered, all the different versions of how he would speak to her that he had played out in his head vanishing in a puff of panic, “Ah w-well, you see my friend he u-uh, well it started when…um…”

She leaned in slightly, eyes narrowing as she sniffed at him, and he immediately froze like a prey animal.

“Something…smells familiar on you"

"S-smells… smells familiar?"

"Like someone I knew before…a very long time ago. Who is this friend of yours?"

"I just…He.. I know him as Vessel? He’s tall? Broody? He’s-he’s got a white and red mask, he was already here when I first arrived and he was sort of feral when we met and didn’t even remember how to speak but-um-”

Her head tipped, eyes still narrowed.

"He’s a brilliant singer? Emotionally tortured? Um…six eyes?”

Her head lifted and her eyes widened slightly, "A singer?”

ii swallowed but felt relieved at the slightly more positive response, “Ye-yeah. Yeah, he’s got a really beautiful voice.”

She hummed, whispering half to herself, “Perhaps a distant relative…and you summoned me because of this Vessel, why?”

"I… I…", ii presses the heels of his hands into his eyes and takes a big shuddery breath, "He's gotten himself entangled with another deity- to Sleep. Vessel, he's not-he's not doing well. Sleep's been using him as a mouthpiece but I think Vessel's… well, he's getting worn down. He's trying to do more thinking on his own, but then he feels guilty, and then there's turmoil and Sleep gets angry with him and there's…. there's a lot of blood. And Sleep has realized now that if he tortures the rest of us - there are two more of us, I sent them on an errand so I could try this - but if he tortures us then Vessel's more likely to give in to what Sleep wants because he feels bad about inflicting all of that on us but I can just see him going more and more-sort of transparent around the edges. And I-I just-I love him a lot and I want him to be okay again. I want him to…I want him to be able to live"

As the words all tumbled out of him he felt hot tears burning behind his hands, his voice coming out in a choked sob, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Everything else I’ve tried has failed and every time he comes back he remembers less and I’m not trying to cause you offense but I have no idea what I’m doing and I’m scared I’m making things worse please just-“

There was a quiet “Shhhshhhshhh”, and a warm hand on his shoulder gently squeezing. He looked up blearily, and saw that Night was looking at him with a gentle smile. Her purple irises regarded him kindly, and he could see that her skin was flecked with silver, making her look like clear sky at midnight.

“I understand well wanting to protect those you love. What you want is very noble. Of course I will help you, in whatever way I can.”

ii blinks at her, "You will? You will. Oh god," he wobbled to his knees and breathed audibly, pressing his face into his hands and rocking a little."Thank you, holy shit, thank you. I'll do whatever you need me to do, I just want to see him stop hurting all the time. Whatever sacrifice I have to make, I'm willing, anything you want to demand of me, thank you, please, just, I want him to be okay."

Night put a hand under one of his arms, helping him to his feet. She was strong, very strong, but still gentle, "It's obvious you care a lot about your loved ones, and things must be truly desperate in order for you to call upon one such as me. Here, come, let me help you sit down. Light your candle and tell me more of Sleep and eat of this…this-”, she tipped her head as she examined a plate that he had left out on the table, “-well it's some sort of food you appear to have placed as an offering but I am unsure of what it is exactly?"

ii smiled weakly, "Oh, it's um, it's a Jaffa cake. IV loves them. I wasn't sure what you would want, or need? Is there something I can…offer you now that you're here?"

Night picked up the cake, sniffing it curiously before taking a delicate bite. As ii watched expectantly she perked up, looking at him and smiling, "It's very good. No no. This is…much better than a burnt sheep. You'll have to excuse my rudeness…it's been…a very long time since anyone has called upon me. I have heard a little of the modern world but a lot is still unfamiliar to me. So I suppose I would ask that you teach me of it. Over time, of course"

Ii rubbed his hands together between his knees, “Unfortunately, time may be what we don’t have a lot of”, he fumbled with the matches before lighting his candle, “Um, so we’re part of a band and we’re about to go spend half a year performing all over the world.” He sighed, “Initially I think it might have been Vessel’s idea, because like I said, amazing singer. What better way to get Sleep’s message to people? But I think now he’s started doubting more and more and writing songs I don’t think Sleep likes…but Vess- he’s too stubborn to stop performing them, and we’re about to be dropped in the middle of normal humanity to do this and -god- I just don’t know how it’ll go if he already seems ready to just disintegrate half the time.”

She squinted as the candle was lit, but then ate another bite of the Jaffa cake, considering, "So that I understand correctly: you summoned me to defeat Sleep in order to save the one you love. But first we must go on this…tour…among regular humans. And obviously I wouldn't fit in among you so you need me to remain hidden but available for the next time Sleep attacks your Vessel? Yes?”

ii dropped his head back into his hands, "Yes? I guess? I-I don't know what I was thinking as far as a gameplan…just that I was a little desperate and I knew that the safest time to try this was when Sleep had him and I could convince III and IV to go-", he cut off and looked up in wide-eyed terror, "Fuck. FUCK!". He pushed himself to his feet and grabbed her hand in his, "He's back, he's on the beach, you have to stay here I don't know if Sleep can see you or-" he waves a hand "-feel you or anything, but I have to go get him and if Sleep knows I've done this he's going to tear him into pieces in front of me and I don't…. I can't-", his lip quivers and Night curls her lip in the direction of the Beach. She turned back to him, “There's one way for me to hide but I need your consent. He can't feel me if I'm hiding within another body."

II blinked at her for a second and then squeaked "In me?"

Night nodded, "Yes. I promise it won't hurt"

II looked towards the direction of the Beach again, clenching his fists, before looking back at her and nodding, “Do it.”

Night turns back into ebon mist, before sinking into his skin, "Now go, save your friend"

II didn’t pause to consider how weird this was, instead immediately turning and throwing the door open, sprinting for the unmoving black lump that was laying on the tideline. He dropped to his knees in the soaked sand behind Vessel and pulled his head up onto his thigh, getting his face out of the rising tide. He held him there with one arm as he started checking for major injuries with the other, talking to him, urging him back to consciousness, "You're okay, you're okay, I've got you, c'mon back. You're Home. Are you with me, Vess? You're safe now, you're not with Sleep, c'mon"

Vessel lurched as he tried to take a breath, breaking into a violent cough that led to him choking up a thick, cold, black blob. II rubbed between his shoulder blades, holding him sideways so he could get all of the black muck out of himself and into the water.

"There you go, okay, I got you, get it all out, I know it's gross”, he let Vessel convulse it out before cradling him, rocking gently as he waited for his limbs to start working again, "We'll get you back in the cave and warm when you get your legs back, III's not here and I don't want to drag you if I don't have to."

Vessel managed to croak out, “…where?”, blindly pawing at and clutching onto II, before blinking around wildly like a spooked animal.

II pet his head like he was comforting a frightened child, “You’re on the Beach, Sleep’s not here, I’ve got you, sweetheart. Get your legs working and we’ll get you back in the cave next to the fire with all the blankets I can-JESUSFUCK-”, he doubles over Vessel as something lurches in his chest, his heart feeling like it was trying to rip it’s way out of his ribcage, and for a split second he thinks to himself that Sleep has caught him and he’s about to die.

Almost as soon as it happens however, it stops, and he hears Night’s voice in his ears, "I-I’m so sorry.”

II manages a deep breath, “What was that for?!”

Night’s voice sounded shaken, and even as she tried to reassure II it made him feel all the more worried, “It’s…it’s nothing. I’m sorry. I will explain later. Let’s just, get him back into the cave. I could carry him for you?”

He shook his head, trying to not drop the barely-there Vessel back into the water, “No, no you need to stay hidden. He could come back and for all I know he may have already figured out what I did.” He shifted Vessel around as gently as he could, before getting an arm under him, “C’mon big guy, both legs, here we go,” he staggers them both to standing and starts coaxing Vessel across the sand, one dragging step at a time.

Vessel mumbled, "So cold…no sounds…"

II stroked down his back as he shuffled him forward, “I know, sweet boy, you’re back now. Let us get off the beach and I promise you tea and blankets and you can cuddle me for as long as you like, I swear.”

Night’s voice was like a little moth softly fluttering by “…how many times has this happened?”

II sighed, "I’ve…lost count. I don’t know, once every couple of months? Sleep just sort of appears, there's some sort of discussion, sometimes he leaves Vessel alone, sometimes he picks him up and takes him somewhere, sometimes he ah…. shows his displeasure more overtly? But any time Vess…. goes away….. he eventually reappears on the tideline like someone's dumped him out of the back of a cosmic panel van." II hung his head a little as he trudged Vessel through the sand, "I'm terrified that someday he…. won't, that he'll just be… gone."

"Does he ever speak to the rest of you?"

"Who, Sleep? Not in so many words. He ah…uses Vessel? Sometimes to try to keep us in line- he dropped him in the water once and made me- Shhshhh, it's okay, we're almost there" he patted Vessel's back again as he started to falter. "-he made me watch him um… bleed out in the water…. without being allowed to go help once, after he saw my first round of research, and that was…not great." He blinks hard against the scene of blood and screaming, before finally shuffling Vessel through the main opening of the cave he and the others called home. He gets him propped into a pre-made nest of pillows and blankets in front of the fire, pulling off his wet clothes and rubbing at his clammy limbs before wrapping him up again in the blankets, kissing him on the cheek. "Vess, you with me? Tea or cuddles first? III and IV should be back eventually so you can still get tea if you want to hold onto me for a while, it may just not be as fast."

"I…wish I could say I'm surprised, but…I have come across Sleep's kind before. They are…quite cruel". Her voice sounds like it's on the verge of breaking as she speaks, and she goes quiet.

Vessel lays still, panting and pale before clutching onto II’s wrist so hard that it almost hurt, "D-don't leave, please."

II kissed him on the forehead, "Oh baby, okay, no leaving. C'mere, sweet boy, you're alright, time to get warm." He adjusted himself until Vessel put his face into his neck and curled up around him, shaking and curling his fingers into his clothes. II looked up, trying to blink away the tears that were threatening to fall, "I’m here, I'm not going anywhere. Rest now, you're back, you're warm."

He sat quietly with Vessel, waiting for the shakes to subside, and as he did Night spoke up once again."I can feel how much you love him. I promise I'll do everything in my power to help you. The promise of a god isn’t lightly given. "

II closed his eyes and shuddered slightly, the tears leaking out around the edges, "Thank you. I'll do anything you want, I promise, any-any debt that needs paid, I'm willing. Whatever it takes. I don’t care."

"You owe me nothing. There is no debt. I want to help you, to help him. I…thought because I smelled someone familiar to me on you and because of the hymn that this was…some sort of trick. But I think I understand now…", II felt her shift slightly in his chest, "Do you…believe in Fate?"

II wiped at his eyes with his fingers. "I don't-I think I don't understand, Fate? I promise I wasn't trying to trick you, I might have gotten something wrong in the translation, but it wasn't intentional."

There was a long pause before Night spoke again, "A very very long time ago I had someone I loved very much as well. He was…taken from me. There was nothing but ashes and bone when I found him. It was as if my very heart was being torn to shreds. When he was taken from me-when he died-it was if a part of me…died with him".

II kissed Vessel's forehead again, softly, lingering to make sure he was sleeping soundly. "I'm sorry…I…think I understand that feeling more than I'd like to."

"He also sang, and wrote poems. I did not ever imagine I would ever hear his voice again except in my dreams. So when we were on the Beach and I heard him speak…it was as if my heart stopped. Your Vessel and my Aneirin…are the same somehow."

II felt his chest clench, only it wasn’t Night that was causing it this time, "I don't… I don't understand…he was here when I got here. He was almost feral, there was nobody else here with him and he was terrified to touch me, it took him weeks to not startle when I talked to him. He-he was so broken.”

And yet, he thought to himself, didn’t Vessel say that Sleep could change things on a whim? and often did? He had seen Vessel die and come back, over and over again. Sleep would do it for any reason, even if it was just to show that he could. Would it be all that unbelievable? It’s not like Vessel could remember where he had come from. None of them really could. At least not wholly.

Night continued, "His death was…traumatic. Horrible and painful and cruel. He had been made a sacrifice to a sun god of a pantheon that revels in blood and agony. They care not for humans except as playthings. When you first told me Sleeps name, I recognized it. He is a part of that pantheon. Although that of course, isn’t his true name."

And that was another thing Vessel had mentioned, that Sleep’s real name wasn’t pronounceable to the human tongue. That he was old, older than humanity and the mountains and maybe even older than the Earth itself.

II stroked the side of Vessel's face, sighing, "Oh Vess, what did you get yourself in the middle of? This is so much bigger than you ever let on, if you even knew, and I don't know if I can untangle all of this without making it worse."

"From what you told me, it’s very unlikely he knew. Sleep would likely have made sure he wouldn’t remember anything”, she made a soft hum, “Three thousand years…oh how I have sought you out in the stars, hoping beyond hope that somehow we would meet again. That you would be reborn. But I never, thought of this.”

II sat dumbfounded, "Three-three thousand years?! He's that old? How is that even possible?"

“You know Sleep is capable of much, you have seen that for yourself. Time doesn’t work the same way for the divine. It is not linear like it is for mortals. It’s more like…a spiral. And for Sleep and his kind, it is even stranger, there is no past, no future…only existence and occurrence.

II blinked, trying to sort through everything going on in his head, "I-I guess I'm sorry? For everything that happened to him. To you. I'm sorry I had to-had to-drag you back together like this, especially when I have to keep you hidden. I’m so sorry. I just wanted-I just was so desperate-"

Night made that gentle shushing sound again, and he could almost feel her hand on his shoulder again, "Don't apologize, you've done nothing but try to save the ones you love. I am still with you, and I will stay with you as I promised. That will not change. Your name is…II? Yes?"

"He named me, I didn't really have a name I knew when I got here."“You’re no longer alone in this II. We will face what comes, together.”

He rubbed his hands over his face, suddenly exhausted, “Are-are you sure there’s nothing you want from me?”

She chuckles softly, “There’s no hurry, but I wouldn’t mind another one of those Jaffa cakes when the chance arises.”

[and-claudia]

His Heir pt. 27 (Darth Maul x pregnant reader)

IT IS FUCKING HAPPENING!!!! (What is "it" read and find out)

Masterlist

Taglist sign-up (From now on, when you sign up, you will receive a message from me either confirming that you are on the taglist or that you are not being added for not following my rules for being tagged. I have had multiple people check off that their age is posted on their page but when I go to check it is not, I WILL NOT TAG AGELESS BLOGS it's a personal preference and I really need y'all that aren't reading that part to read that and respect my decision on that)

Warnings: mentions of throwing up (yay), mentions of medical stuff

Word count: 1585

Waking up in Maul’s bed felt different now. It felt… nauseating? Shit. 

I quickly shoved Maul’s arms off of me and scrambled to get off of the bed. I was cursing the fact that he had such a massive bed. My frantic movements quickly woke him up. He could be heard behind me as I finally freed myself from the comforter and made it to the refresher. Maul followed in quickly behind me. I dropped to my knees and began to empty the contents of my stomach. It felt like it was taking every ounce of my energy away, and I gripped the sides of the seat for support. 

Maul has learned that if I was getting sick, I didn’t like to be crowded. I needed my space. Even if he wanted to be by my side for comfort, he knew better. So he stood over by the vanity, prepping a cool rag for once I was finished. Once it finally felt like nothing would come up, I sat back on my heels and let out a small groan as I lifted my head up. 

“Finished?” His voice didn’t hold any annoyance or disgust, he was just concerned. 

“Yeah… yeah, I think so…” I said nodding slowly before wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. 

He walked over and handed me the rag to which I gave a small thanks. I wiped the sweat off my face and the back of my neck. Maul offered me his hand and I hesitated to take it. 

“Not yet.” I mumbled. 

Maul gave me a small frown and sat down with me, still giving me some space in case I got sick once again. I took a few more deep breaths and after I decided it was only nausea and I wasn’t going to actually throw up again I scooted closer to Maul. He immediately shifted to allow me to sit between his leg, my back to him, and lean back into him as his arms came to wrap around my middle loosely. I sighed and relaxed into him, turning my head to rest it against my shoulder, blocking out the light of the room. 

“I thought this was supposed to end after the first trimester.” I whined slightly. 

I had just entered week 19 of my pregnancy. I hadn’t gotten sick since week 16 almost and now it seems as though it has come back with vengeance. 

“I’m sorry dear.” Maul said, rubbing a hand up and down my side.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before I spoke up again. 

“What time is it?” 

“Just about time to start getting ready.” 

I sighed. 

“If you want, we can just go to your appointment then I can bring you back here so you can rest for the day.” Maul offered.

I shook my head, “No, I need to keep working.” I insisted. 

“The only thing you need to do is keep yourself and our baby healthy.” He said back.

I knew he was right. Ever since the nausea came back work had been kicking my ass. But there was a lot to plan for. Maul and I were finding out the gender today but were going to keep it between us for a few weeks then host a banquet to announce it to everyone, Dasar had sent us the invitation to their wedding and so we were trying to figure out the logistics of that, it seemed like everyone was requesting meetings with Maul, it was just a lot. 

“Okay…” I finally sighed, sitting up so he could get off the floor and then help me get up as well. 

I got dressed and went to the kitchen where Maul had prepared a small breakfast for us. 

“I wasn’t sure if you’re appetite was still there, but you need to eat something at least.” He said. 

I nodded and grabbed a piece of toast off his plate. 

“Thank you.” 

After we ate we both finished getting ready for work before leaving for the day. We walked into Maul’s office before he lead me into mine and Qi’ra’s and over to my desk. 

“I’ll come to check on you around lunchtime, I have meetings until then. In the meantime, if your appetite comes back anymore try to eat something, okay?” Maul said as I sat down. 

I nodded, “I will.” I sighed as I leaned back into my chair more, grateful that Maul had gotten me a new one. 

He nodded before leaning over and pressing a kiss to my forehead.  

“I’ll see you later dear.” 

I turned in my chair and watched him walk out. 

“He’s quite affectionate today.” Qi’ra commented once he was through the door and it had closed behind him. 

“Yeah, I think he’s just excited about my appointment later today. We’re going to attempt to find out the gender, again.” I said as I turned on my datapad and began working on it. 

“I thought you guys already knew?” 

“We were supposed to find out a few weeks ago but the way they were positioned, the med droid couldn’t get a clear image. They’re quite stubborn, like their father.” I said with a small laugh. 

“So, if it’s not a boy, are you going to wait a while and try again?” She asked. 

I could tell her question was genuine but it still rubbed me the wrong way. I knew traditionally an heir is male, but if Maul and I were to have a daughter, she’d be just as good an heir as a son would be. It made me worry some if it were a girl, would she be accepted as well as a boy would be? 

“No, if it’s a girl she’d be his heir.” I said, slightly snappy.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that… He mentioned your appetite wasn’t there this morning. Is everything okay?” She asked, changing the subject.

“Morning sickness came back, and it came back strong.” I sighed, leaning back, one hand on my stomach, the other still holding my datapad. 

“Remind me to never have kids.” She said causing us both to laugh. 

The day passed without much more excitement. When Maul came to see me during lunch I informed him that my appetite had returned and that I was starving. So we each took a small break to go have lunch in his office. Then after that, it was back to work. The closer we got to my appointment though, the more anxious I got. 

I was in the middle of reviewing a report from a lower advisor when Maul walked in. 

“Are you ready, dear?” Maul’s voice caused me to jump slightly. 

“Shit! Don’t scare me like that!” I said, turning off the device. 

Maul stifled a laugh, “My apologies. Are you ready to head to the appointment?” 

“Yes, will you help me with my shoes?” I asked, seeing as I had slipped them off under my desk earlier.

He nodded and came over to help. 

“Lady Qi’ra, com me if anything happens.” He said, after he helped me stand up, I wasn’t to the point where I quite needed the help but it was appreciated nonetheless because I knew I would actually start needing it soon. 

“Yes, Lord Maul.” She said giving us a small nod as we walked out. 

I opted to hold Maul’s hand instead of his arm as we walked. I hadn’t realized quite how hard I was holding it either. 

“Are alright dear?” He asked. 

“Yes, nervous is all.” I reassured him as we walked into the medical unit. 

No one was there, Maul always made sure that my appointments were completely private. So we walked in and were taken straight back. They did all the necessary check-ups that needed to be done on me and the baby before beginning the actual scan. 

“Have they moved into a better position to tell what we're having?” I asked as the droid silently ran the probe across my belly. 

“Yes, I have a clear view now. Would you like to know the sex of the baby?” The droid asked. 

I looked to Maul, and he gave me a small nod. 

“Yes, please.” I said, squeezing Maul’s hand. 

“Congratulations, it’s a boy.” 

It took a second for the words to process. Suddenly everything felt so real. Maul and I weren’t just having a baby. I wasn’t just carrying his heir. We were going to have a son, our own little boy. 

“Leave us.” I heard Maul say to the droid, though it felt like he was far away. 

He cleaned off the gel from my stomach before helping me sit up. His hands came to cup my cheeks as he wiped away my tears with his thumbs. 

“A boy, Yn, we’re going to have a son.” He said, smiling brightly. 

I nodded and grabbed his hands mine to move them from my cheeks to my stomach. My hands rested on top of his as I looked up at him. 

“That’s our baby boy…” I smiled before leaning up to kiss him. 

He pulled away and rested his forehead against mine. 

“I know… It feels a lot more real now, doesn’t it?” 

I nodded slightly. 

“We can’t tell anyone though. Not until the gala.” I said. 

“I won’t. We should get to planning that soon though.” 

“Yes, but let’s just celebrate tonight.” I asked smiling as he smirked back at me knowing exactly how I wanted to celebrate. 

A/N: I KNOW everyone LOVES Girl Dad! Maul but when I first had this concept I wanted him to have his son first to rectify the childhood that he never got as a boy.

A/N2: I already have a name picked out, but I want to hear y'all's theories on names

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