#I just am so excited to start actually sharing it!

[beloveds-embrace]

noona. noon. any angsty thoughts to share for the duke au? 👁️ (i’m craving angst sorry)

Original post

I DO!! Angst version of the au would be if you weren’t welcomed at all. Sure, no one is being flat out rude to you, no one is actively sabotaging you and John doesn’t hit or force you into anything.

But it’s lonely.

The maids barely touch you, as if disgusted they have to help and tend to the woman their Duke needed to and not wanted to marry, and the butlers are the same. Especially the head butler Garrick. You still don’t know his first name and he doesn’t seem inclined to tell you.

During the dinner… nights with John, you’ve started noticing that your food isn’t quite as well done as his? Less decorated, occasionally burnt or not cooked well, but you don’t want to cause any trouble so you remain silent and John never asks why you seem to eat so little.

You do also meet Duke Riley, the man that John is said to have an incredibly close friendship with, something born during his time servicing the kingdom. You’ve heard so much about him, from bad to good, and you wonder how he actually is.

In the end, you wish you hadn’t met him, too. The humiliation of being flat-out ignored in your own home while he speaks amicably with John…

So yes. Life as Duchess Price isn’t a happy one, but you are just glad you aren’t physically hurting.

But you do find solace in the only kindness your parents had bothered to show you before they gave you away; your personal knight, König. He is the only one to not treat you as such. He is the only one you can confide in, feel just a little bit of happiness and friendship with even if you haven’t even seen his face yet.

“I’m so tired,” you whisper to him one night, under the blanket of the night sky. You’d thrown a simple shawl over your shoulders, and hadn’t questioned it when he fell in steps behind you, always a protective shadow. Today had been hard. You had also decided to no longer dine with John, not too excited about the lackluster food and the stilted conversations. Cold maids, lonely night… you ached for something more.

You take in a shuddering breath, wrapping the shawl tighter around yourself. Konig stands right beside the bench you are sitting on, a familiar and comforting sight and presence. But tonight, it’s not enough. “I’m so tired, König.” You repeat, your voice cracking.

König simply stares at you for a while; you are used to it, used to everything about him. The mask, the accent, the unyielding body that is always keeping you safe. The quiet congestions you have had, during the days you lock yourself away in your office to ignore the loneliness and sadness plaguing you.

You aren’t used to seeing König bend down in front of you, holding his hands out until you place them in his. Familiar pale eyes peer up at you. Proper etiquette doesn’t matter to you in this moment; who will chastise you for the lack of it when this entire duchy holds only the most basic form of respect for you?

Even if they did, you would not let go of König, your confidant. Your knight.

“…What do you need, mylady?”

After a silent moment, you take in a deep breath and look back at him. “…I want… someone who loves me enough to be kind towards me. I want someone who loves me.”

König nods his head. With bated breath, you watch silently as he brings your hands forward, under his mask, to kiss each knuckle on your hands.

“I am your knight, mylady. I am your sword, and your shield. I, too, can be your lover if that is what you want, mylady. Whatever you desire, it is my duty to provide.” König breathes out against your skin, eyes not once flicking away, words not once breaking. He is fully devoted in his decision. “Will you allow me, mylady? The decision is your, always has been. I cannot take you away from this horrible place-“ not yet. “-but I can give you my love and devotion, just as I’ve always done. Will you allow me, mylady?”

And after everything you’ve been through, all the pain and loneliness and exclusion- you can’t say no.

“…Yes, König.”

(By the time John begins to realize that he may have misjudged you, once you find out the truth, it is already far too late for mending any bridges. There is no particular feeling when you look at him, or any of his men. You only ask that no one bothers your time alone with your shadow, your knight. It’s far too late for anything.)

[subbytcklslut]

First Tickle Session (11/08/2024)

My first tickle session with @dca101

I'm going to do my best to recount everything, but frankly there was so much going on and I know I can't accurately run through every single second.

So, I'd been anticipating this session all week, it was my first REAL tickle session. It had me completely nervous in the best and excited way possible. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have butterflies as the hours ticked down closer and closer.

So of course when he got here we had a moment of just chilling, talking a bit. I got a hug which definitely helped put me at ease. We started slow, him just getting a quick tickle in here and there. I wore shorts, a bralette and a thin spaghetti strap tank. I wanted to be tame but also leave as much ticklish real estate exposed as possible, so yeah at one point the tank came off. I actually had shoes and socks on starting out, so he focused on my thighs and my hips. Working his way up and teasing my sides and finding out how ticklish my underarms are. It was all gentle tickling, some rough tickles mixed in and I can't believe how giggly I was already becoming.

Fun fact, he teased my neck a fair bit( which is a turn on for me) but ummmm he glided his hands along the backs of my shoulders which we both then discovered is weirdly ticklish. Needless to say he had to test every inch between my neck and shoulder blades. Meanwhile I'm scrunched up and trying to squirm away from it. He oh so RUDELY honed in on my knees with some nibbles. Lucky I didn't jerk from how mean and ticklish it was.

He eased me in to some of the tickle toys. The vibrating feather particularly tickly to my stomach and ummm breasts 🫣. I have found my ultimate weakness though in that pure torture device that is the double pronged flosser thing. Doesn't matter where it touched, I was a giggling and squirming mess. He gave me a break from that evil little tool, but it was time to experience my first taste of foot worship.... I can't believe how much I liked it. Feeling my toes in his mouth was actually kinda hot and it tickled the tiniest bit. Then the oil came out! He tested the ticklishness of my feet without oil on one and oil on the other, with the addition of the hairbrush(the only tickle tool I experienced until this point). He discovered an absolute death spot that was my toes and proceeded to call ME a liar for having thought the spot under my toes was the worst. Totally not my fault, so I was subjected to some torture on my poor toes with multiple tools.

Turns out, I'm certain areas I'm also very lickilsh. Um the underarms 😨 and my poor soles.

Of course my sassy and bratty self couldn't help it at times to bite back and it resulted in me getting pinned down(holy fuck was that hot and got more than it's fair share of moans) while he tickled my upper body. His teasing tickle talk only driving me more crazy and to more laughter. He got me to admit what a ticklish toy I am and um excuse me but how dare 😤💀

It wasn't until 3 hours in that the restraints came out. We kept it easy, rope and some good cushioned restraints. My heart was absolutely pounding with anticipation as I lay there while he secured me. Testing my mobility by tickling my foot, my thighs, my underarms. The real ticklish panic set in when I realized I couldn't stop or squirm or hide any tickle spots.

For all my bratiness he had to dole out some punishment to my oiled and secured feet,using each tool he had and really going to town with them. Again, that double pronged flosser is my weakness, followed very closely by grooming gloves 😵‍💫🫣 I was warned these toys were going to be intense but nothing can prepare you for them. Even writing this my toes are scrunching as I remember what happened. He had me so much in lee headspace that I couldn't help but beg and laugh. All the while just adding enough teasing torture to bring a whimper from me.

I'll admit, we had some NSFW tickles... Again that evil fucking flosser right along my pussy. The moans and laughter from me were embarrassing to say the least 🫣 but I fucking enjoyed every minute of that agony. We ended our session with one last vigorous torture to my feet, that evil fiend).

But honestly, the sweetest fucking thing was how caring and gentle he was. He made sure to give me breaks to breathe, letting me adjust to each new ticket sensation. Making sure I was okay with what happened and not pushing boundaries that I had set. He really helped ease me into my first session and I couldn't have asked for a better first time. He's an absolute teddy bear of a guy and snuggling him as both of our aftercare had me grinning ear to ear.

More sessions will definitely be happening and I'm damn lucky y'all 🫠

[includedisco]

My best talent as a fanfic writer is that I am basically 'the little engine who could'- of screwing myself..

...and never learning from my mistakes.

I've been writing for years but I still

Spend more time day dreaming about the plot in my head instead of writing it

Give into the urge to start a new WIP when 99 plus 100 others are waiting 😅

Write several fanfics at once and get the names of my characters mixed up

Get so excited about sharing a work that I post after editing only a few times, then die if embarrassment later when I re-read and see the typos

Go with a storyline minus planning and even post the story, then write myself into a damn corner. Every. Damn.time 🙄

Let myself get excited about a new WIP when I know that that will only kill my fire for the one I've started posting already. My readers are waiting for an update and now I feel like sh*t.

Get more excited about planning to write and creating a playlist for my writing than actually writing.

Am I going to work on these bad habits and improve????? 😂😂😂Of course not.

I'm going to half a** this thing just to get through the day as usual. That's the true fate of an author who has accepted that joy is pain in writing 🤝

[verdantglow]

Yesterday I decided to let myself get started on the actual prose for this fic from the beginning.

Today I finished writing chapter one.

Y’ALL.

It is 6.3K long.

And I stopped part way through what I had outlined for chapter one because I realized if I kept going, this chapter was gonna be like 10k+, and maybe that’s Too Long.

There was supposed to be at least two more scenes in this chapter.

This is gonna be CHONKY.

[nerdgirlnarrates]

Found out I matched on Monday (🥳), but now waiting till Friday to find out where is KILLING me. The match has felt like this distant, looming horror for so long, and it's finally become real, and it's actually happy, and now I'm desperate to know where I'm going.

[jacksprostate]

sorry this is once again my monthly 'i'm in love with people and our capacity for compassion even in the face of deep deep cruelty, even though i've seen worse and worse things, come to terms with so much, it's my love of humanity that has let me avoid rotting, encouraged me to grow and chase my own place in helping everyone around me" post

[jennycalendar]

rather loquacious but ultimately cheerful writing-creative-thoughts post under the cut :'D

i do know that part of developing a readership is writing consistently over a long span of time, but the switch is really making me sort of simultaneously aware of and affectionate towards the readership i developed while writing for jenny :') got very used to the certainty of knowing there were quite a few people looking forward to what i would put out next, because of course there were! been doing that for eight years! so to switch tracks and realize i'm starting from scratch a little is kinda cool, now that i know what's going to happen. i am nothing if not consistent in my interests when i find them.

i am looking at these fic projects like yeah actually this is going to be the next few years For Sure. the thought of not finishing marigold's deal is truly unthinkable, in large part bc i made her! she exists in my head which means i totally have to finish this for her! which is ngl a lot more fun than writing a girl who isn't mine and who im holding together w scotch tape.

was talking to my bonus mom about the diff btwn writing mari + my girls / writing jenny. jenny was very much mine inasmuch as jenny didn't really exist within the narrative, sooooo really anyone trying to write jenny kinda HAS to go a little oc with it to write anything substantial. but mari is all mine. home grown. as are so many of the girls who surround her.

it's a really special and exciting shift and it's fun to sort of have this slow roll-out! to have her bleed into here and know that someday people will get to know her :') to have the time and space to just be silly with it without readership anxieties.

idk man im just feeling a lot. i went crazyyyy trying to write for some imaginary gold medal. i think i really stopped enjoying writing prior to the fandom track switch because i was just soooo stubbornly entrenched in this idea of not letting go ever, to prove some sort of point to someone, or to myself, but sometimes letting go is necessary and important and lovely. you're allowed to put things down when you feel like you're done with them. and it's so fucking wonderful to be in the middle of exploring literally everything without any worries about how good i am at it! i am doing this For Fun. i am doing so many things For Fun lately.

[chocolate-cream-soldier]

//

[crossbackpoke-check]

nosy anon again making a return because i think what my brain did was read that i helped find some kind of writing and then did not fully process what the writing was?? but upon rereading i am very intrigued if you ever get the urge to share i will be all eyes/ears/senses required to enjoy things!!

I GET TO DO WIP WEDNESDAYYYYYY!!! the writing exists mostly in the form of a tag (fantastic! 'verse) and also a thirty-two page doc of snippets and planning, so the sense you will be using most is imagination:

don't think i have ever actually formally written out anything about fantastic! 'verse but! the tl;dr of it is that it's a semi-college au: joel is still a hockey player for the lv phantoms, but morgan is a college student-athlete. it's incredibly relevant to the plot that joel falls in love with morgan in the check-out line of a wegman's, lies a little bit, and ends up going back to get his degree.

most of it is just good fun about college kids growing up, but i think there's a lot of parallels between making your way through a development system where traditional "success" isn't always guaranteed (ahl -> nhl, completion of higher education -> pursuit of a career) because that development system isn't always designed for you to "succeed" or have opportunities. heavy quotation marks around success because part of that struggle is learning what you want in life and how you define success. are your dreams achievable? are they still the same dreams you always used to have? it's infinite branching universes of would you still love me if i was a worm (ahl player forever) (a college dropout) (a college graduate) (older) (realizing the fallibility of your body) (uncertain of the future) (human).

silly little snippet:

[piplupod]

a very silly post to make perhaps but I find it very funny (and equally frustrating) how tumblr users act about music taste (among other things). on tumblr, my music taste is likely considered pretty tame and "normie" or mainstream or whatever, but irl.... people treat me like I am insane for listening to all the music I listen to. they have not heard of over half the artists I listen to, and they act like I'm pretentious for just... enjoying a lot of different music that (for better or worse) hasn't hit the mainstream.

i am very kind about other ppls music tastes and I think all music has value of some kind, but i will admit i am getting really tired of hearing about tswift in every conversation about music that i have with people at the centre TwT. i do honestly often wish i had a more average taste in music so I could talk about and share the songs I've really been enjoying with people but ,,, they are not interested at all and look at me like I'm crazy if I try to show them whatever song I've been listening to a lot lately.

i also feel like the people who get annoying and mean about music taste on this site are the ones who call others "chronically online" which would be very funny if that's true, but maybe I'm just making that up. they do give off the vibe of people who do that though.

[inniave]

posting music is scary but i'm going to keep at it because otherwise i don't think i'll ever release anything at all and at some point i *do* want to actually put together a project For Realsies so i gotta get over my fear but damn this fears got hands 😭

[sevicia]

I wanted to make a cleaner summary of last week's classes and also review the classes I have this week since the material is already uploaded beforehand but I was feeling so horrible throughout the day that when I sat down I was just gonna look at the ones for tomorrow but I think I'm just gonna go to bed because I just gave my little numbers game a few tries and not even the joy of tribial elementary school-level math games is bringing my brain cells and/or full sentience back

[yansurnummu]

ok I lied I'm gonna talk about it more

90% of the narrative changes I made to the necrom story in my fic are mostly because when put into the format of written word, they don't go over as well as they do within the context of the game (mostly stuff that boils down to fetch quests, or quests that rely heavily on game mechanics like combat & exploration) I wanted to keep the core ideas and essence because I did really love it! I have a real love for cosmic/eldritch horror and high fantasy and mystery, and I think they did a fantastic job of blending those elements together in a way that still felt very ESO. Some details I don't really vibe with and think they could've done better (why put such an emphasis on the dusksabers being vampires if you're not going to use that in any interesting way, for example)

Mostly what I think it boils down to is the kind of story I want to focus on vs the focus of the story in-game. Like I could go for a one-to-one novelisation, but frankly I would find that boring. In shifting the focus to drals and his self-discovery journey, I do feel like I've had to pair down on some other elements (having gadayn as more of a background character, cutting out meln's ghost and leaving him as a figure of drals' past) in order to keep the focus on drals' relationship with azandar and friendship with leramil. Also dialling back the world ending-ness of it and just having apocrypha and mora being the ones in danger, lowering the ultimate stakes but still giving them all a reason to be extremely invested in the Plot.

Haven't planned as far ahead as The Reveal yet, but honestly? I might leave out the whole ithelia thing and come up with some other big dangerous secret mora's hiding. Not because of anything against ithelia, but because it does end on that kind of cliffhanger and sense of impending doom, and I think I'd prefer it if I could just end the story there and allow the characters to rest after a bittersweet victory.

[studio-paris-green]

I wanted to announce that I am working as a character cleanup artist on a short film :’) yay

[saintedbythestorm]

Not dad trying to tell me about some big fallout news he heard about from some work colleague 😂 oh what the poor man just subjected himself too.

[martyrbat]

👍👍