#I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

[wonderjanga]

I Want My Money.

Billy likes money, he’s said this before, but nearly all the time, money is tight. So, it’s rare when he’ll lend someone a buck or two, and when he lends them a buck, he expects that buck paid back in full.

Marvel: “Ah, Flash! You haven’t paid me back yet. I kinda need my money.” *all kind and nice*

Flash: “Huh? Oh yeah. Don’t worry, man. I got ya.”

Later…

Marvel: *a little more impatiently* “Flash? My twenty? You uh still haven’t gotten it for me.”

Flash: “Yeah dude. I’ll get it to you.”

Even more later…

Marvel: *annoyed* “Flash.” *speaking through grit teeth* “Flash get me my twenty dollars. Now.” *hands on Flash’s shoulders*

Flash: *kinda scared cause he hasn’t seen Marvel ever really show anger* “Dude, I said I’d get it for you.”

Marvel: “Yeah, now. Get it for me now. Please.”

Flash: “I- uh- I’ll be right back.” *zooms off and comes back with a twenty* “Here, man.”

Marvel: *super smiley and normal again* “Thanks, Flash.” *takes the money and walks off like nothing happened*

Flash: “No problem…” *whiplashed at the sudden change*

Wally had like no idea what to make of this interaction. The man was so generous. He didn’t think he’d be this pressed about twenty dollars. Like for example, they found space rock that could’ve been sold for millions apparently and he just gave it all to Wally like it was nothing. (Billy had no idea where to sell it. Bros never heard of eBay, not that he has an electronic device to use it on) But twenty dollars? Wow. Wally didn’t know if Marvel needed his priorities straight or what. All the speedster knew was that he was never gonna cross Marvel about money again. It’s honestly his bad anyways.

Then there was the one time Adam owed him five dollars. Don’t ask him why he lent him the money. Billy now recognizes it was a moment of weakness.

Black Adam and Marvel: *fighting*

Marvel: *stops fighting* “Dude, are you going to pay me back my money?”

Black Adam: *also stops fighting* “What are you talking about? What money?”

Marvel: “My money? Y’know, the five dollars I lent you?”

Black Adam: “Five dollars- I’m not paying you back for that!”

Marvel: “That’s common courtesy, man!”

Black Adam: “I don’t care! I’d rather die than repay you for anything!”

Black Adam didn’t really expect for this to backfire on him. As a result of not paying back a measly five dollars, Adam was met with Marvel appearing in his palace at the ass crack of dawn, demanding his money.

Black Adam: *honestly a little surprised Marvel came to Kahndaq because he’s never really came to the country before* “You do realize you’re breaching my country’s national security-”

Marvel: “I DON’T CARE. Teth, give me my money.”

Black Adam: “You’re willing to risk my country dissolving into war with your country over five dollars?”

Marvel: “Yes? Money. Now.” *makes grabby hands*

Black Adam: “Bumbling idiot…” *massages temples* “I’m not paying you back! How difficult is it to get that through your thick skull?!”

Billy did not like that answer. So now, the Justice League and everyone who had the pleasure of being online the day after this incident were met with a video of Marvel beating on Adam harsher than they, or anyone else for that matter had even seen before.

Marvel: “JUST GIVE ME MY MONEY!”

Black Adam: “NO!”

In the end, Billy still didn’t get his money. And this actually wasn’t because Adam didn’t want to pay, but rather Adam’s country doesn’t use American dollars so he went there, beat up their leader, and basically did it all for nothing. Honestly looking back at it, Billy didn’t really know what he was expecting. Neither his nor Adam suits have pockets, so he kind of doubts that he had a wallet to hold money in the first place. He was honestly just glad Adam, for whatever reason, didn’t follow through on his promise to go to war with America.

So yeah… in conclusion, Billy Batson can, and will crash out over five dollars.

[willowsnook]

He isn't you

salami, swiss cheese, and white bread please <3

joe burrow x gf!reader

he isn't you

The easiest thing about dating Joe Burrow was that he wasn’t the possessive type. Some girls liked that in a partner, but you found it suffocating. You didn’t need him to mark his territory; your connection was clear without that.

This dynamic was perfect for your busy life as an ESPN reporter. Covering college football meant you were often on the road, but Joe was fully supportive. When you were both home, you made time for each other, and when you weren’t, you checked in often enough.

One quiet morning, you felt Joe wrap his arms around you from behind as you cooked scrambled eggs and sausage for breakfast.

“Morning, sweetheart,” he mumbled sleepily.

You turned to smile at him, giving him a quick kiss. “Hi, Joey.”

He grabbed coffee for both of you. “What’s on the agenda today?” he asked.

“We have a new guy filling in this week,” you explained. “So, a longer prep session.”

“Someone you know?”

“No, he’s from a smaller affiliate, so we haven’t crossed paths.”

After breakfast, you kissed Joe on the cheek, grabbed your coffee, and headed out the door to the ESPN office. There, you were set to meet the new colleague, Harrison.

Outside, you spotted a man with curly brown hair and green eyes waiting by the door. “Are you Harrison?” you asked, shaking his hand as he smiled warmly.

“Yes, nice to meet you!” he replied cheerfully.

The day flew by. Harrison was easygoing, and you enjoyed discovering you had mutual friends and had even attended rival high schools. That evening, you told Joe all about your day and your new colleague.

“...I’m looking forward to working with him this weekend,” you finished, noticing Joe’s slight frown as he poked at his food.

“Awesome,” he murmured, not meeting your eyes.

“Are you okay?” you asked, sensing his mood shift.

“Yeah, just tired.”

“Was practice hard today?” You asked, taking another bite of your dinner. 

“A little,” he said, subconsciously digging into his shoulder muscle. 

“Let me give you a massage after we clean up then,” you offered and he smirked. “Just to help you relax.”

“I can think of another way you can help me relax,” he flirted, and you rolled your eyes and laughed.

-----------------------------------------------

The next Monday, Joe was not happy as he scrolled through his Twitter feed, having been tagged in tons of tweets about you and your colleague Harrison. 

“User1: Wow, the chemistry between Y/N and the new guy is unreal. Are we intruding?” “User2: Wonder how Joe Burrow feels watching his girlfriend get ‘rizzed’ on national TV.” “User3: Joe took two Ls this weekend: losing to the Eagles and seeing his girl flirting with her colleague on air.”

Joe knew you hadn’t meant anything by it, but watching those clips felt like a punch to the chest. He decided he’d stay out for the night, texting you that he was still with the team and might crash at Ja’Marr’s. You frowned, confused, knowing he’d been home just an hour earlier. His texts had been scarce all weekend, and his silence stung.

Y/N: Is something wrong? Are you mad at me? JB: It’s fine.

Something was definitely off, but he wasn’t ready to talk. Trying to shake off your worry, you settled in for the night alone.

-------------------------------------

The next morning, you buried yourself in work to distract from Joe’s cold shoulder. Harrison popped by your office, noticing your downcast expression.

“Everything okay?” he asked, taking a seat across from you.

“Joe’s mad at me, but he won’t say why,” you sighed, recounting the strange tension between you and Joe.

Just then, Joe appeared at your door, his eyes narrowing as they fell on Harrison. As you introduced them, Joe’s handshake was noticeably firm, and Harrison shot you a wide-eyed look.

You looked from him to Harrison, and it all was finally clicking in place, which instantly made you giggle. 

You smiled sweetly at Joe. “Oh, I was just telling Harrison that it’d be nice to have him and his partner David over for dinner sometime.”

Joe’s hand went slack, his surprise evident. “Yeah... that’d be great,” he stammered, dropping Harrison’s hand, relief settling over him.

The tension dissolved, and you couldn’t help but chuckle as Joe’s jealousy melted away, leaving him sheepish.

After Harrison left, Joe lingered around you in the office, quieter than usual but clearly wanting to say something. You leaned against the desk, watching him nervously run a hand through his hair.

Finally, he sighed. “Look, I know it’s stupid, but seeing you with him… I couldn’t help it. Watching people online talk about how good you two looked together…” He trailed off, his expression softening as he took your hands in his.

“Joe,” you said gently, squeezing his hands, “I like Harrison as a colleague, and he’s a great guy, but he isn’t you. No one could be.”

He smiled then, a hint of his usual confidence returning as he finally seemed to believe it.

You stepped closer, wrapping your arms around him. “You’re the one I come home to,” you murmured. “The only one.”

He pulled you in tightly, his voice quiet as he admitted, “I know. I just… needed to hear it.”

With the last bit of tension fading away, you leaned up, pressing a reassuring kiss to his lips. He wasn’t possessive by nature, but every now and then, a reminder didn’t hurt. And maybe you didn’t mind giving him one.

[pinkslipxox]

Wifey:

Summary: You loose your wedding ring and Billie comforts you

Warnings: fluff 💝

——————————————————————————

You’ve looked everywhere.

The bedroom, the living room, the kitchen, you even looked in Billie’s small at-home studio. No matter how high and low you search, you just can’t seem to find it. You’re not sure how you’ve lost it or when, and your frustration and anxiety grows with each passing second as you continue to turn the house upside down to find your wedding ring.

Guilt starts to build up inside you as you realize that Billie will be home any minute, and still no sign of your ring. How could you be so careless? It isn’t just a ring, if anything it is a symbol of Billie’s love and devotion to you, and you can’t bear the thought of seeing her reaction when she sees that you don’t have it on. You need to find it— you must.

“Where is it?!�� you groan in frustration as tears begin to swell in your eyes. “Fuck!”

Suddenly, the garage door opens. You freeze in place at the realization that your wife has returned home. And you still haven’t found your ring. You have to tell her, you know you do, but that is the last thing you want to do.

“Honey! I’m home!” Billie’s teasing voice echoes the house and you take a deep breath before meeting her at the entrance.

“Hi, Billie,” you greet as sweetly as you can manage with a smile, your heart pounding against your chest.

Billie smiles, her arms reaching out to you, and she wraps you in a tight, warm embrace. “Hey, my love! I’ve missed you so much. How was your day?”

“It was great!” you chirp, and you can’t help but feel a pang of guilt hit your chest. “How was yours?”

“It was good. Tiring, though,” she replies with a chuckle as she pulls you in close, your hips touching hers. “But being home with my beautiful wife again makes it all worth it.”

It takes everything in you to not burst into tears right then and there. Billie lightly grips your chin and then molds her soft lips with yours into a sweet kiss. You melt into her, forgetting about the ring, your focus now on your wife. Billie deepens the kiss, her grip tighter around your waist as she cradles the back of your head. You can’t help but sigh blissfully, making Billie smirk against your lips, the kiss growing more passionate, hungry almost.

“Billie…” you moan as her lips travel down your neck, your eyes fluttering closed.

“Let’s take this to the bedroom, shall we?” Billie murmurs against your skin and you instantly nod. Her hand slips into yours. The one where your ring is supposed to be. And you hold your breath when she brings it up with a curious expression on her beautiful face.

“You’re not wearing your ring,” she observes, and you bite your lower lip. “Why?”

“Billie… I-I…” you stammer, your nerves getting the best of you. “I-I’m so sorry…”

“Sorry for what?” Billie presses, her eyebrows slightly furrowed. “Y/N?”

With a sob, you hold onto Billie tightly, hiding your face in the crook of her neck. Your wife doesn’t hesitate to comfort you.

“Hey, hey…” Billie soothes, rubbing your back. “Please don’t cry, Y/N. What’s wrong?”

When you don’t answer, Billie pulls away slightly. She grips your chin, forcing you to look at her, and you’re met with her ocean blue eyes, full of concern. Her expression is stern but you can still see the tenderness in it.

“Y/N Y/M/N O’Connell, tell me what’s wrong,” Billie demands, her voice soft yet firm, locking her ocean blue eyes with yours.

“I-I lost my wedding ring! I can’t find it anywhere! I… I… I’m so sorry! Please don’t be mad at me…” you ramble, and Billie instantly softens as she pulls you into her arms again.

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m not mad,” Billie reassures you, kissing the top of your head.

“Promise?” You just have to be sure.

Billie chuckles softly. “Of course. I could never be mad at my girl. Ever.”

“But what do we do now?” you ask, pulling away slightly to look at her.

“We buy you a new one. Whichever one you like,” she promises and kisses your forehead.

“I just feel so bad for loosing it. You picked it out just for me, and…” you sniffle but Billie gently shushes you.

“It’s okay, Y/N. These things happen. I was honestly more worried by how upset you were.” She takes your hands in hers, squeezing them gently. “Accidents happen. You loosing your ring doesn’t make me look at you differently or love you any less. Understand, pretty girl?”

“Yes,” you say softly. “I love you, Billie.”

“I love you, too, Mrs. O’Connell,” Billie hums and connects her lips with yours again.

Relief washes over you.

You have the best wife in the world.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love That Burns ~ 30

LOVE THAT BURNS MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 1,855ish

Summary: You and Logan still struggle with your relationship. The two of you make a decision to help ease the struggles.

Warnings: Emotional, Angst, Injuries

Notes: crossing my fingers that you guys will be okay with this chapter...

Reminder: I DO NOT do taglists. Please don’t ask. Please follow and interact! I appreciate any reblogs, likes, comments, and asks! 

“So, how are you and Logan doing?” Ororo asked one morning at breakfast.

“Fine,” you responded with a shrug. “We have a lot of work to do, but we’re working through it.”

“He does seem a little more on edge around the kids, as do you.”

You sighed. “I’ve actually been thinking… I think Logan and I should go away for a while.”

“Wait, you two want to leave?”

“I haven’t brought it up to Logan yet, and it wouldn’t be forever… we just need a space where we can focus on just the two of us. We’re constantly thrown every which way with classes, missions, and world-ending scenarios. Logan and I need to simply be us for a while and figure out what that means.”

“I… do whatever you have to do.” Ororo stood up. “I’ve got a class to teach.”

“Ororo, please stay and talk.” 

But she slipped out of the room. You sighed, hiding your head in your hands. That was the position Logan found you in. He quietly came up behind you and rested your hands on your shoulders. He leaned down and kissed the back of your neck.

“What’s wrong?” He whispered against your neck.

You leaned back into him, looking up at him. “I made Ororo upset.”

“What did you do?” You sighed, looking back down. “Hey.” He sat down beside you. “I thought we were doing better with the talking shit.” He hooked a finger under your chin and guided your face to look at him. “Tell me.”

“I told Ororo about something I was going to talk to you about.”

“And that was…?”

“About leaving.”

“Leaving?”

“I was thinking that we need some time to ourselves. To figure things out and just be us.”

“But this is your home. Would you really be okay leaving it?”

“Logan, you’re my home. And you were long before this was.”

Logan studied your gaze and could see that you were telling the truth, but he worried that after a while, he wouldn’t be enough. You at least had people here, other mutants, to lean on when the two of you were struggling. If it’s just you and him? Then you’d have no one. Logan was okay with that for himself but not for you.

“I thought that we’ve been doing well here,” Logan said, trying to see if he could get you to change your mind. 

His words took you back. “You want to stay? You’re constantly trying to run.”

“I just want you to really think about it, sweetheart. I don’t want you to leave and then regret it.”

“You think that I’d regret being with you?”

“That’s not what I said—“

You pulled away, standing up. “But it’s what you meant, right?”

“Don’t put words in my mouth.” He stood up as well, growing angry. 

“Do you not want this long-term, Logan? Am I just your person until a new, better one comes along?”

“Hey! That’s not fair!”

“Morning! Oh—“ Bobby stopped in the doorway. “I can see that this is not a good time, so I—“

“No, Bobby, we’re done here,” you told him, rushing off.

“Y/N!” Logan yelled after you, hurrying to follow you. He followed you into the gardens. “Now, who’s running?!”

“Oh, please,” you spun around. “You’ve wanted to run since the moment you got here!”

“Yes, but I stayed for you!”

“Oh, I feel so honored.”

“You know what, maybe I should go. Since it’s clear that I’m unable to hit the high expectations you have set for me.”

“You are the reason for those high expectations.”

“Ugh! I’m not that person anymore! And I’m sick and tired of feeling like shit all the time about that!”

Logan’s hand flew out as he was talking, his claws accidentally unsheathing. Before either of you knew it, the claws were cutting against your cheek. You gasped, stumbling back as your hand came up to hold your cheek.

“Oh my God,” he sputtered. He hid his claws before reaching for you. “Sweetheart—“ You stepped back, breaking both of your hearts. Logan’s fingers were tingling. If you didn’t let him try to fix this—if you didn’t let him touch you, Logan would never trust himself to touch someone again. “Please let me—“

“No,” you shook your head, tears falling down your cheeks. “Just… leave me alone.”

You rushed off back into the mansion. You knew that Logan didn’t mean to hurt you, but you needed time and space. 

Logan was frozen in his spot. The high emotions had gotten the best of both of you, but especially his claws. He had hurt you, and he was fully conscious for it. This was different than him having a nightmare. This was much worse.

~~~

You had sat in front of the mirror, watching the three cuts along your cheek heal into scars. Tears streamed down your face the entire time while you thought of Logan. Both of you were in the wrong here, and this was a complete accident. You were thinking about what to say to Logan when you started to hear drawers slamming in Logan’s room. Rushing out of your room, you looked into his room to see him stuffing his clothes into a bag.

“What are you doing?” You whispered.

Logan spun to face you. Slowly, his hand reached out to brush against the scars on your cheek, but he didn’t let his hand actually make contact.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” his voice was completely broken, tears lining his eyes. “I never wanted to be the one to hurt you… yet I keep doing it.” He shook his head and got back to packing. “I have to go.”

“What?”

“I can’t keep hurting you. I can’t be the person you need… The person I was before…”

“And this will make it better? I’ve messed up in this relationship, too. This is not just on you. I’m sorry for making it seem like I’m forcing you to be that person again. I know that you’ve changed, so I have, and that’s okay. I still love you.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“Stop that.” You slipped in between him and the dresser. He kept his head down, not willing to make eye contact. “Fine. Tell me you don't love me, and I’ll let you walk away. But you have to look me in the eye and be honest with me.”

You nibbled your bottom lip as you waited for Logan to make the next move. You could tell that there was a war waging in his mind. His eyes suddenly snapped to yours.

“I… I can’t do that,” he murmured. “I love you.”

You quickly pulled him by his shirt to kiss him. He dropped his bag and slid his hands to the small of your back.

“If you really want to leave,” you whispered against his lips, “then you have to take me with you.”

“Okay,” he replied. 

~~~

“It’s not forever,” you said as you hugged Ororo. “We’ll stay in contact and visit. Logan and I just need to figure things out.”

“I’ll miss you,” Ororo responded, pulling back. “I’ll miss the both of you.”

“You ready?” Logan asked, coming up from the truck he had just packed. 

He had already said goodbye to Marie and Bobby before packing the truck, knowing that you would need some time with Ororo.

“I think so,” you responded. “See you later, Ororo.”

“See you,” she replied.

You took Logan’s hand, and he led you to the truck. He opened the door and helped you in before going around to the driver’s seat. You turned back and watched as the mansion grew smaller and smaller in the distance. Logan placed a hand on your knee, giving it a slight squeeze.

“Are you okay?” He asked, clearly concerned. “We can turn back around.”

You laced your fingers through his and scooted closer to Logan, very thankful for the bench seat. “I’m okay,” you told him. You kissed his shoulder. “Where are we headed?”

“I have a place in mind.”

“Care to tell?”

“Not yet. Why don’t you get some rest?”

“You sure?”

He leaned over and kissed your head. “I’m sure.”

You hummed in content as you rested your head on his shoulder and let yourself relax. Logan’s lifted up in a barely-there smile as you tried your best to cuddle into him. 

~~~

You didn’t bother to ask Logan where the two of you were headed again. You kept yourself occupied with books and naps when you weren’t talking to Logan. It was already proving to be worth it, as the farther the two of you drove from the mansion, the less tension there was. Logan insisted on driving the whole way, and so far you’ve had to beg him to stop to sleep in motels for the three nights you’ve been on the road so far.

It didn’t shock you when the two of you crossed over into Canada. You figured that Logan would always feel a call back there. The shock factor was later as the two of you drove up an old, familiar road in the Canadian Rockies.

“Logan, where—“

“Just patience, okay?” He cut you off. “I’ll explain soon.”

You simply nodded, focusing on the trees you were passing out the window. Your heart started pounding the closer you got to the top. Before you knew it, the small house appeared and Logan was pulling up to it. It looked just how you remembered it. You were too busy staring that you didn’t realize Logan had gotten out of the truck and walked around to your side. He opened the door and took your hand.

“Come on,” he urged, tugging you out of the truck. “Let’s go inside.”

“Inside?” You repeated. “It’s probably a disaster. We—“ Your eyes widened as Logan pulled you inside. The place was clean, updated, and furnished. “What? How?”

“Charles. We had a conversation about when Jean died, and I got part of my memories back. He knew that we would need a place to start over and found where we used to live. Before I could stop it, he had people here fixing it up.”

You let go of his hand and began slowly walking around the house. Your hands gently trailed against the walls and updated pieces of furniture. 

“You and Charles…” you breathed out. “You did all this?”

“Is it okay?” Logan was clearly nervous. “We can go somewhere else. I just know that this was the—“ You shut him up with a kiss.

“This is perfect. Thank you. But know that I don't expect you to be the same person as before. Time has changed both of us… are you okay with being here?”

“Yes. I even already got a job as a lumberjack.”

“Oh, got the old job back?”

Logan chuckled. “Somethin’ like that. I start in a week.”

“So I have a week of you all to myself?”

“A whole week.” He pulled you closer, pressing a kiss to your lips. 

“Can we try out the new bed?”

A devious smirk formed over Logan’s lips. “I thought you’d never ask.”

[sturnstars5]

i love you, i’m sorry-matt sturniolo

you and matt swore you were done, but are you?

warnings: fluff, swearing, happy ending

*there is a flashback in the story it’s in blue!*

empty. emptiness was what you felt. it had been two weeks since you left the love of your life, matt. you try to tell yourself, “well, it was his fault” or “i’ll be better off without him, it’ll just take time”, but nothing worked. you missed him.

you sat on your couch, something you had been doing more than usual lately, and stared outside through the window. you couldn’t bring yourself to do anything other than overthink. you would replay the moments of you and matt’s breakup argument in your mind, like it was a movie on loop 24/7. and just when you would feel a sliver of joy, the movie would start again, leaving you to drown in self pity.

it was getting late, so you picked yourself up off of the couch and laid down in bed, staring at the ceiling. sleep wasn’t exactly on your side.

it was about 1:30 am, and you were still awake when you heard your front door creak open.

what the fuck?

you sat straight up and froze, paralyzed in fear, not knowing what to to next. normally, matt would take control and go see what was happening, but he wasn’t there. he was gone.

you hear the persons foot steps get louder and louder until you hear them stop right in front of your bedroom door.

the door opened slowly, revealing a puffy eyed, sad looking matt.

he looked awful to say the least, he looked like he hadn’t eaten in days. his face was all swollen, his eyes bloodshot with dark bags under them. his face was glistening with tears, and his nose was runny.

“matt,” you say.

“i know, i should’ve called, im sorry.”

“you almost gave me a heart attack! do you know what time it is?”

“yes, i know, okay? i said im sorry.”

“why are you here matt, i thought we were over.”

“i know that’s what we said, but i cant stop thinking about you, about us.”

“matt,”

“i know, y/n, i know what i did was wrong. going to that party was a whole wrong decision in itself. but i still love you, y/n.”

“but matt, you pinky swore you wouldn’t cheat, and you broke it! how am i supposed to trust you now?”

“i don’t know, i just hope you can find it in your heart to give me one more chance.”

you think back to the night you found out about the party…

1:00 am, 2:15 am, 3:40 am, matt still wasn’t home. he said he was filming with his brothers, and you believed him. you called him, and he didn’t answer,m. you then called nick and chris, and they didn’t answer either. you give up, just telling yourself that their phones died, and you go scroll on instagram in your bed. nick posted a picture of himself and chris at a party.

where was matt?

you look harder, only to see matt’s lips pressed against another girl. her hands threading through his soft brown hair. matt was yours, so why was he with her?

matt arrived home, drunk, stumbling lazily into your shared bedroom.

“hey baby.” he says with a smirk.

“don’t call me that, matthew.”

“what the fuck is your deal, y/n?”

“this!” you say, throwing your phone in his face. you’re zoomed in on him and the other girl, matt looking at the photo. even his drunken state cant cover up the guilt and regret in his mind.

“who’s that?” he says, lying.

“that’s you, matt! who else would it be? you know what you did matt, and i know too. i’m not as dumb as you think i am.”

“it was just one kiss, so what? it was a party, and we were needy and drunk.”

“have you lost your fucking mind, matt?

“no i haven’t, but clearly you have, bitch!”

“i’m not gonna be talked to like this by my own boyfriend, so get out.”

“what?”

“i said, get. out. matt. we’re done.”

“come on, don’t you think you’re being overdramatic?”

“get out! now!”

“y/n?” you hear matt say softly.

you snap out of your memory, taking a second to focus back on reality.

“listen, y/n, i’m not asking for you to let your guard down again and take me back, i just guess i want you to know that i love you, and that im sorry.”

matt stares at you, his face full of desperation and vulnerability, and most of all, regret. a single tear rolls down his face, dropping on the floor as it falls off.

“do you promise to be loyal, matt?”

“yes, of course i do. i wont screw it up this time.”

“i’m serious matt, i cant take that again. i cant go through that again.”

“i promise.”

“okay then.”

“so, what now?” matt asks.

“do you wanna, maybe try again?” you ask softly.

“yes. i swear i wont fuck it all up this time.” matt replies.

you and matt hug, and for the first time in a while, you feel genuinely happy and loved.

“i love you, y/n.”

“i love you too matt.”

kind of a rushed fic but wtv!!

[funnyinsanegirl]

Second Chances [Touya Todoroki x Reader]

˙⋆✮ That's So True ✮⋆˙

"Looking into big blue eyes. Did it just to hurt me, make me cry Smiling through it all, yeah, that's my life."

even villains deserve a lil redemption

Dabi x F. Reader

𓂃ﾟ ⋆ ﾟ ☂︎ ༄˖°𓂃ﾟ‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ.

WC: 1398

I'm sat on my thrifted couch by the window as rain softly beats against the glass. I press play on the voicemail for what feels like the millionth time, the words already burned into my memory, but still, I can’t help myself. Maybe this time will be different. Maybe hearing it again will change something.

"Y/N, please come back. What I did was wrong, it’s been months... I can’t lose you. The league misses you, too. Toga won't shut her damn mouth about you. Fuck, I’m so drunk right now... I love you. I know I didn’t say it often, but—"

The sound of Shigaraki’s raspy voice cuts through, sharp and impatient. "What are you yapping about?" he snarls. "We’ve got shit to do, wrap it up."

Dabi’s voice stumbles back in, slurred. "Bye, Y/N. I have to get a new burner soon- I’ll try calling again. Fuck, I know you won’t pick up. You haven’t the last dozen times but I’ll try." The message ends with a quiet beep.

It’s been three months since that call. And by then, I’d already been gone for seven. Seven months since the night I left him—the night I left all of them behind. His betrayal, his lies... it was too much. It’s been almost a year since I stepped away from the league, from the chaos, from the life that almost consumed me and swallowed me whole. A year since I walked out and didn’t look back.

I’m lucky, though. So stupidly lucky. My quiet, lowkey role in the league made slipping away easy, there were no repercussions or police coming after me every time I stepped foot outside. I’ve kept off the radar, built a new life for myself—a quiet life. I work at a flower shop now, which is insanely different than working as a villain for Shigaraki and the League of Villains, and it smells a lot better too. I’ve even gotten myself a little apartment on the edge of town, cozy, with a window that overlooks a quiet street, and roommate, which is actually just a little calico kitty that I named Cupcakes.

I’ve found peace here. Real peace. But the voicemail keeps pulling at me like a thread that came loose on a favorite sweater, both painful circumstances. And no matter how hard I try to ignore it, I know Dabi’s voice will haunt me forever if I don't talk to him at least one more time, and attempt to get better closure than some shitty drunk voicemail.

I text Giran, the broker that supplies the league with everything, including burner phones. Dabi stopped calling recently, so I assumed he lost my number with the last burner, because knowing him, he wouldn't stop calling just to give me space.

Me: Hi Giran! It's Y/N, I know we haven't talked in a while, but I was wondering if you know Dabi's current burner phone #? 😇

He gets back to me almost immediately.

Giran: Y/N!! So good to hear from you, kid, thought you fell off the planet lmao. And yea I can send the number. Giran: ###-###-####

He sends me the number, and I dial it immediately, my hands trembling. After a few rings, Dabi picks up, his voice sounding annoyed. "Who’s this? And how’d you get this number?"

"Hey, uhm... it’s me, Y/N."

"Y/N?" His tone softens, a hint of surprise in his voice. "Didn’t think I’d hear from you tonight. What’s up?"

I hesitate for a moment before speaking. "I just wanted to talk... are you busy?" I can hear a lot of voices in the background—probably everyone from the League. "If you’re tied up, it’s fine. It’s nothing important."

"Never too busy for you, doll." His voice shifts, and I hear him step away from the noise, the background chatter fading as he walks off.

The noise in the background slowly fades as he steps away, and I imagine him walking down a hallway, his boots hitting the floor with a slow, deliberate rhythm. The sounds of his breathing and the soft hum of his movements are the only things I can hear now. It’s strange, this feeling of distance and closeness at the same time.

“Alright, I’m all yours,” Dabi says, his voice rough but clear now, like he’s giving me his full attention. “What’s on your mind, Y/N?”

I swallow hard, staring at the rain outside, the droplets running down the glass, blurring everything in sight. My heart races in my chest, a million thoughts running through my head, none of them making sense. “I don’t know,” I admit, running a hand through my h/c hair. “I guess... I just needed to hear your voice.”

“Yeah, I figured that.” He lets out a soft chuckle, though it sounds a little strained. “You’ve been gone for a while. Thought you were never gonna reach out.”

“I didn’t think I would either,” I reply quietly. “But... I keep listening to that last voicemail you left. Over and over again. I just... I couldn’t stop myself.”

There’s another long pause, and I can almost hear the shift in his posture. Maybe he’s rubbing his face, or clenching his jaw. I wouldn’t be surprised. Dabi’s never been one for easy emotions. “Shit,” he mutters, sounding like he’s been through too much to deal with this. “I shouldn’t have left that message. I meant what I said but I wish I said it better, I wasn’t thinking straight.”

"It's okay. I liked it." I say softly.

"Really?" He asks, his voice almost in disbelief at me admitting that I enjoy his shitty drunk voicemail despite everything. 

“Yeah,” I answer quietly, feeling the weight of the words settle between us. “It wasn't like you at all- guess the liquid courage helped a lil, huh?" I laugh dryly, "It was real sweet its own way. I could tell you meant it, even if you were drunk n didn’t know how to say it.”

Dabi’s silence on the other end feels heavier now. I can almost picture him—frowning, leaning against a wall, trying to collect himself. "Fuck," he mutters after a moment, voice low. "I never thought I'd hear you say something like that. But... I'm glad you did."

“I’ve been avoiding it,” I admit, my fingers tightening around my phone. "Avoiding you, avoiding everything. But I can’t keep running forever."

Dabi lets out a long exhale, like a weight’s been lifted from his chest. "I get it. I know you had your reasons for leaving, and I don’t blame you for it. I fucked up." His voice drops a little. "But if I’m being honest... I’ve missed you, Y/N. More than I ever thought I would."

My heart skips a beat. It’s strange to hear him speak so plainly, without the usual sharpness in his voice. "I’ve missed you too," I whisper before I can stop myself. The confession catches me off guard, and I quickly add, "But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to just jump back into everything. Things are... complicated."

"I know," Dabi replies, quieter now, as if he’s absorbing my words. "I’m not asking you to. I’m just... saying that I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere. If you want me to prove it, I’ll prove it."

There’s something in his voice now that feels different, a promise without needing the words. A subtle shift in how he speaks to me, less like the cocky villain and more like a person who’s afraid of losing something he doesn’t deserve.

I stare out the window at the rain, a tightness in my chest as I let the quiet wash over me. I know I can’t go back to the way things were, but maybe—just maybe—I can start a new chapter with him, one where we’re both trying, even if we don’t have all the answers.

“I don’t know how I feel yet,” I say finally, voice soft but steady. “But... maybe we can try again. Slowly.”

Dabi’s voice is quieter now, but there's an undeniable relief in it. "That’s all I need. A chance. We can take it slow."

I lean back against the couch, closing my eyes as I listen to the steady rain and his steady breathing on the other end of the line. For the first time in a long while, the knot in my chest begins to loosen. There’s no going back to what we were before, but maybe there’s still a chance for something else.

"Alright," I whisper, a faint smile tugging at my lips despite myself. "Let’s see where this goes."

𓂃ﾟ ⋆ ﾟ ☂︎ ༄˖°𓂃ﾟ‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ.

[famoussharkhairdoknight]

Where Goodbyes Fade~Jude Bellingham

The rain pounded against the car windows as I drove towards Jude’s house. We’d gone out to dinner for what was supposed to be the last time. After months of trying and endless discussions, we had decided to end things. It just wasn’t working anymore—or at least, that’s what we kept telling ourselves.

I parked outside his house. I sat there, hands gripping the wheel, staring at his front door. I should have just left, said goodbye, and moved on. But something held me back.

Finally, I sighed and got out of the car. Jude opened the door just as I knocked, and despite the grey sky and the tired look on his face, he had that faint, familiar smile.

“I thought you’d already gone,” he said, looking at me with a mix of surprise and curiosity.

“Yeah… I thought so too,” I replied, holding my breath as our eyes met. It felt like it had been ages since we’d looked at each other that way.

“What made you come back?” he asked, and I heard a note of hope in his voice, even though he tried to hide it.

I shook my head, unable to give him a clear answer. “I don’t know. It just felt like… something was missing,” I whispered.

He looked down and gestured for me to come inside. He closed the door behind me, and the silence in the room became heavy. I felt more vulnerable than ever. We looked at each other for a moment without saying anything, but there was so much between us that every word seemed unnecessary.

After a long pause, Jude stepped closer. “So… we should say goodbye, right?”

The words hit me, but I nodded weakly, trying to seem sure of myself. “Yes, it would be… better for both of us.”

“Better?” he repeated, as if he couldn’t believe that word. “God, do you really think this is the right thing?”

“I don’t know, Jude. We’ve tried so many times… we’ve been at this point for too long.”

He took a step back, running a hand through his hair—a gesture I knew well. “Maybe we’re just afraid to go all the way. Maybe we never allowed ourselves to truly surrender to each other,” he said in a low voice, almost as if he were speaking to himself.

I moved closer to him, looking into his eyes. “Jude, if there are things we haven’t said… it’s time to say them.”

He was silent for a moment, then moved his hand to my face, brushing a strand of hair aside. “I’m going to miss you,” he whispered hoarsely, his words thick with an emotion I couldn’t ignore.

“Stop it…” I replied in a low voice, but without any conviction. My heart was pounding, as if it had been waiting to hear exactly that.

“Will you really miss me?” he asked, almost as a challenge, and I saw the determination in his eyes, that same spark that had made me fall in love with him.

“Every single day,” I answered, unable to hold back the truth any longer.

Suddenly, Jude stepped even closer, so close that our breaths mingled. I could feel his warmth, his familiar scent, and every fiber of my being cried out for him.

“Tell me you hate me, if that’s really what you want,” he whispered, his lips just a breath away from mine. “Tell me you don’t need me anymore.”

“I can’t,” I answered, and in that moment, all my determination collapsed. His hands found my cheeks, and the world seemed to stop.

Suddenly, his face was so close that he was all I could see, his lips finding mine in a kiss loaded with everything we had kept hidden for far too long. His arms wrapped around me, and I held onto him as if he were the only thing that mattered.

After a moment, we pulled apart, breathless, but he still held me tightly, as if afraid I might disappear at any second.

“I can’t let you go,” he murmured, his face tense with genuine pain.

“Neither can I,” I replied, unable to hold back the tears. “Maybe we need each other more than we want to admit.”

He smiled, brushing his lips against mine once more. “Then let’s stay. Let’s put away every doubt and this time… really give it a shot.”

And in that moment, I realized that sometimes, even when you think you want to close a door, your heart knows the right choice all along.

[oddaesthetin]

catching you looking at his photos — han hyeongjun

fluff

—

“why are you looking at my photos?”

you flinched at the sudden voice, almost falling over from the kitchen stool you were sitting on. turning your head to face the person you hadn’t realized was there, you found yourself face-to-face with a slightly flustered but still composed hyeongjun, whose eyes remained fixed on the screen.

playing it cool, you slowly turned your phone off and flipped it over.

“just because.”

“you can’t just say ‘just because,’” he pushed, standing up straighter. feeling bashful, the slender man behind you uneasily licked his lips and combed back the hair covering over his face. you giggled silently at the beguiling sight.

“i just did.” it was an answer you thought would end the topic, until your boyfriend murmured something again.

“those were fan photos of me.” he pressed once more, as if teasing you could hide the fact that your actions had thrown him off balance, too. he doesn’t do this often, hyeongjun thought to himself. don’t get the boy wrong; having the opportunity to tease you comes a lot, actually. it’s just his timing that doesn’t. which is why more often than not, he chooses to be sly in silence. now is not one of those times.

you felt warmth creeping up to your face again. it had already been there before he came in, courtesy of the photos, but being confronted like this left you blank for a moment. it wasn’t your first time doing this though, no. with that face? please. you had a pinterest board full of his fan photos, though this was the first time you’d been caught.

it wasn’t really a big deal. so, with that thought in mind, you answered honestly.

“you look hot.”

first shot.

“i mean, i’m sorry for being your biggest fan, but it’s impossible not to look at them. have you seen you?”

second shot. one more, and hyeongjun thinks he might pass out. how the turntables, to take a quote from the office. now, his face was starting to redden. you vivaciously turned to face him fully.

“especially when you’re playing your guitar! it makes me feel things i haven’t fel—”

“ok! oh my god, stop. please.” laughing, your boyfriend hid his face in his hands. “i didn’t know you liked me this much,” he said, half-teasingly and half-full of warmth—an expression he usually have when you do something that makes him feel valued. to be loved is to be seen—something you took very literally, and thinking just that, he flopped his head down again to try to hide the pink that resurfaced. you make him feel too precious.

every once in a while, he doesn’t know if he truly deserves that, but he couldn’t deny as well that whenever he felt unsure of himself, it was always you and your comforting words that lifted him back up. sometimes, he just wished he had the ability to tell you all of that easily.

“now, i regret teasing you. i’ve learned my lesson,” he said meekly, his face still flushed. he combed his hair back once again in an attempt to calm down.

finally, to end this madness (as you were still feeling fairly shy yourself), you decided to just play along and shrugged playfully. “well, you know what they say; be sure to taste your words before you spit them out.”

he laughed softly, the tension fading, and reached over to give your cheek an affectionate squeeze.

��

© oddaesthetin 2024

[maxillness]

╰┈➤Mafia AU, Chap 2 || LS2

Warnings: 18+, unprotected sex, Logan lowkey getting used, google translated French, sub!Logan, handjob

Wordcount: 1k

Masterlist

“Lewis! Get in here” She said loudly as Lewis and Checo passed her open office door

“Yes?” He said, taking a step into her office

“When you’re done, take him with you down to George Washington University Hospital and steal Alonso’s and the rest of them medical journals” She said

He turned to Checo “You speak french?” Choco shook his head slightly “Tu veux que j'amène un putain de débutant ici à George Washington pour voler des putains de revues médicales?” You want me to bring some fucking rookie here to George Washington to steal some fucking medical journals?.

“Just do it, Lewis” She sighed to which he cursed under his breath before he walked out

Lewis came back late that night with a file and something that looked a take out bag “I only found their drivers file. Logan Hunter Sargeant, and um…” He pointed to the take out bag “Chicken. As an apology for earlier”

“Great. Fucking American” She sighed, tossing her pen on the table

“We’re… In America?” Lewis said confused

“Yeah, but I don’t work with Americans” She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest

“You call that work?” Lewis chuckled slightly

“Depends if I’m successful, which you know I always am. If I’m successful, work. Unsuccessful, pleasure” She explained “Get out of my sight” She chuckled, getting the chicken out of the bag

She opened the file “Why does he gotta be pretty?” She pouted slightly “Fucking Florida?” She scoffed slightly

Nothing fucking interesting. A few broken bones, open wounds

“This is interesting” A gunshot wound. Bar fight turned shootout. He was working at the bar “Wonders if he still does” Upper thigh. Hit the artery

The next night, she got Lance to drive her to the bar where Sargeant were shot

She looked at the bar, seeing the pretty blond sitting at one of the chairs

“May I sit?” She asked, smiling softly as he looked at her

“Sure” He answered, looking her up and down before she sat down

She ordered a drink of her choice, before she turned to look at Logan “So, mister. Where do you work?” She asked softly

“I work here” He said softly, not looking at him

“Please, bartending don’t pay that much, and your watch… Expensive” She whistled low

“You might bartend, but you must have another job” She smiled, her hand soft on his knee

“Well…” He coughed softly “I do some private driving on the side, pays good” He nodded, taking a sip of his drink

“Yeah? For who?” Her hand slid further up

“I shouldn’t tell you” He chuckled slightly, looking into the bar

“Oh, come on. You can tell me. I got no one to tell” She smiled, leaning closer, her hand softly caressing his thigh

“I don’t actually know who they are. They’re from some mafia I think” He shrugged slightly

“Oh? Really? The Mafia?” She asked in a teasing tone, her lips ghosted over his neck, his breathing hitching

“Mhm. Yeah” He closed his eyes “I-i don’t even know their names. M-my friend got me the job” He whimpered softly when she started placing wet kisses on his neck

“A friend you say?” She mumbled against his skin, her hand tight on his thigh, making him whimper

“Yeah. My friend Oschar” He moaned softly as she sucked softly onto his pulse point, sure to be leaving a mark later

“And what does your friend Oscar do for them?” She asked softly, nails digging into his thigh through his pants

“Deliveries or some shit. Don’t really know” He breathed quickly. He turned his head to look down at her “I live close by, you want to get out of here?” He asked low, their mouths only inches apart

“I haven’t even gotten your name yet” She chuckled slightly

“Logan”

“Amelia”

Messy, wet and quick. That was how their kisses were as they entered Logan’s apartment

Clothes were everywhere in his bedroom when she softly pushed him down onto the bed, straddling his hips

She sat up on her knees, spitting in her hand, starting to stroke him slowly

Logan’s hands were softly on her hips as she slowly slid down on him, drawing a moan out from both of them

She rested her hands on his chest as she slowly started to roll her hips, drawing out all kind of sounds from him

She leaned back, putting her hands on his abdomen instead, bouncing on his cock

It didn’t take long for her to start feeling Logan twitch inside her, his grip on her hips tightening

“‘M close” He panted in between his moans

She took one of her hands down to her clit, starting to circle it, getting her closer to the edge

Her walls clenched down around him, which sent Logan over the edge, filling her up with his cum

A few seconds later, she came, her body shaking slightly

She waited ‘til he was asleep until she looked around the room, searching for his phone - She found it in his jeans’ back pocket

She unlocked the phone, no password. Idiot. She went to his contacts, scrolling down until she found the one labeled with Oscar’s name

She quietly found a pen and wrote Oscar’s number down on her palm before she placed the phone back in Logan’s jeans and left the apartment quietly

“You smell like sex” Lance grimaced as she got in the car

“What did you expect me to smell like?” She scoffed slightly

“Like vanilla, like you always do” He shrugged slightly

“Do I always smell like vanilla?” She asked confused

“If not that, then sex” He answered which drew a chuckle out of her

She walked down the hallway, walking down to her room when she was stopped by Lewis

“How’d it go?” He asked with a slight smirk

“Can you get Daniel up here by tomorrow?” She answered with a small smile

“Yeah. Which phone number did you get?” He asked curious

“Their delivery guys’” She answered before walking into her room and towards the bathroom

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 2 thoughts

i wrote the following episode writeup two days ago, and still, there is so much to process. but let past me take over as we begin our adventure into some DELICIOUS angst with a happy ending content:

i wasn’t going to watch this episode tonight because i am feeling tired and sick, but then i scrolled down a little bit and read some of the next episode’s descriptions, and boy. i want answers. which i will not receive if i do not watch the episodes prior to them. so. here we are.

i’ve also heard that this episode is really good, so i’m excited to dive in, even if i have a headache while watching it. usually i try to preserve my watching experiences for when i don’t feel ill, but sometimes you just have to push through it.

(it WAS really really REAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY GOOD. my sickness was not fixed but some other part of me was)

okay. the description... mulder is looking for a cure and the FBI snitch. and he receives help from an unlikely source…. is it krycek??? let us see

(it was not krycek)

we begin with the recap, and again, the combination of skinner’s gruff “call a doctor” while holding scully's limp body and mulder’s defeated face at hearing the vial just has water in it is crazy 

mulder is at the hospital at 5 am!!! he’s looking for scully :( no one is helping him!! he is getting maaaaad omg

“i’ll calm down when i have a REASON TO CALM DOWN!!”<- OHHHH he is always going to cause a scene in a hospital. someone please pair up this scene with one breath to make a nice matching gifset thank you <3

the doctor wants to know who tf he is when skinner comes out of the room!!! OH FUCK, I FORGOT SKINNER THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD LMAOOOO “you move pretty good for a dead man” <- well yes he does! 

“i’m only half dead” now what do you mean by that… is he saying that without scully he is only half alive.......

oh skinner is PISSED! he is following him into scully’s room… please save the fighting for when she is not trying to get rest, thank you very much

oh my GOD, mulder sees her in the room and he literally has to put his hands on his knees and breath, and he cannot do it… holy fuck… he asks skinner what happened, and when he doesn’t answer right away he asks “DUE TO WHAT?” again, and skinner has to say she’s dying

(i immediately hit replay to watch him collapsing in on himself and gasping for air again. pain. pain and angst. feels good. like pressing into a bruise)

SKINNER AND MULDER START FIGHTING???? throwing hands. “don’t make me put you under arrest. DON’T” <- this is escalating. very quickly. we haven’t even had the intro yet. holy fuck.

(my skinner and mulder angst heart is deeply satisfied)

oh my god… how he’s watching her through the window……………..

the intro was cut short, but i expected this 

ohhhh no, mulder is here before section chief blevins… he’s in troooOOooOouble!!!

“the fact of you being here alive, it gives the effect of shaping this investigation into something altogether different” <- well yeah. that is very much the case. let's all state the obvious together.

blevins and the squad seem to be surprisingly patient with him as they explain they need to know who the real dead guy found in his apartment was. they say, well, you know, this is going to be a murder charge. so please say something to help yourself out here. and he says idgaf bye <- LEGENDARY!!!

ohhh skinner is following him out… skinner says he has been withholding evidence. he knows mulder shot the guy, killed him, then shot him again to hide his identity!!!! woahhhh!!! this is huge!!!!

skinner tells him to admit why scully lied on his behalf, and he says that her disease was given to her by someone at the FBI. he takes a moment to process that, then asks who, and there is a whole lotta guilt in mulder’s reply: “i failed to find that out, sir” <- NOOOOOOO i’m sad :(

oh mulder, and your intrinsic, ancient guilt.......

“you don’t want to forget who your friends are, agent mulder- to remember who you can trust” <- oh my god oh my gooooood. you KNOW i am a SUCKER for the whole mulder/scully and skinner dynamic, and he knows that skinner made the deal with the devil for him but scully doesn’t know that and she doesn’t trust skinner and oh my goooosh

mulder nods, while skinner watches him leave. i hope he has taken this talk to heart.

section chief blevins is at the racetrack again with CSM?? and he’s watching senator kennedy speak about human cloning. which seems random. how is he even watching that while at the racetrack? they didn't have ipads

CSM points out he said mulder’s not to be underestimated <- haha yeah THAT’S my boy!! 

ohhhh, but blevins knows CSM let him escape…. and CSM isn’t alarmed by this! he’s all smirky, even as blevins says their FBI man has been exposed.

“mulder’s in trouble. he needs help. we can give it to him” “in exchange for?” “his new loyalty. to us” <- WOAHHHH

some dude was behind blevins the whole time and he says “you can proceed now” so is he off to go get mulder???!?!?!

scully is waking up!! OHHHH look at his smile when he sees her…. oh somebody kill me. he loves her SO much

(author's note: tearing up just thinking about this as i make these notes readable. goddddddddd)

she’s so worried that someone is going to see him, but OH MY GOD he grabs her hand, sits on the bed, tells her it’s okay, and kisses her cheek “i’m officially among the undead” <- WAAAAAAAAAH I LOVE HIM

(and while in the moment this only inspired the deepest of affection, i now find myself thinking of a vampire au, and who would be the vampire... but let's get back on track)

she asks what happened, and he says he didn’t come there to talk about that <- YEAH THAT IS WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR!!! you tell her not to worry sweet girl

but she won’t take it, says he doesn’t need to protect her!!! and that is just like her, to die arguing. so he fesses up that he will have to testify everything that he knows 

he does NOT want her to worry oh my god “it doesn’t matter” “yes it does” (gently) “hey scully, how about those yankees?”<- OHHHH MY GOD i cannot stop saying oh my god, but what even is there else to say?

i just. he loves her so much. he wants her to relax and be calm and be okay even when she would never let that happen in a million years. and the fact that she is worried about HIM while she is literally dying… bro. i’m emo.

scully is trying to warn him that skinner is the mole, and he’s touching her face, saying no, it’s not him, and oh, i’m melting. my heart is melting. 

WOAH WHAT??? she is saying to tell the committe he has to testify before that SHE KILLED THAT GUY??? to keep him safe???

he smiles and shakes his head, saying he can’t do that, but she responds with “mulder, if i can save you, let me” oh my god???

“let me give at least some meaning to what’s happened to me” <- OH MY GOD??????? no no no no no no no. 

(the implications here... trying to find meaning... nobility in sacrifice... the religious imagery it inspires....... we need to unpack this at length someday)

OH enter maggie and bill scully, watching as mulder sits on her bed holding her hand, smiling like the dutiful son-in-law he appears to be, which is especially crazy, when you consider the whole “and where has this mulder guy been” thing bill had going on when we last saw him. but mulder says he was just on his way out. 

AND he kisses her hands as he leaves… the tenderness which i feel towards this man is so sensitive and indescribable

and oh my god, mulder introduces himself to bill. he says he’s sorry about his sister… but bill has something else to say- WHAT IS IT??

“mr. mulder… i know something about you, about what dana’s been through with you, so… let’s leave the work away from here, okay? let her die with dignity” <- OH MY GOD????? WHAT THE FUCK???????

bill you literally SUCK what the HELL?? you don’t know ANYTHING about what they have been through!!! 

he looks like he was just slapped :( and bill goes in and holds her hand while mulder is there just standing opened mouthed, unable to believe what he just heard :(

what the fuck.

bill count ur days.

so now the guy from the racetrack that was with blevins seems to be on the loose with a sniper gun!!

ohhhh, mulder is leaving the hospital when he sees CSM!!!! “please tell me you’re here with severe chest pains” <- JHDJSJDJ okay yes i laughed.

OHHHH he says that the water he got in the facility is essential to scully’s survival???? and that he’s here tonight as a friend?? so they go outside to talk about it… but the sniper, isn’t he loose????

cutscene to the lone gunmen’s headquarters, where mulder is emptying the water vial into a little dish, saying CSM promised him something would be in there. and there is some… thing?? a microchip??

OH! he says that maybe it has to do with when the chip was removed from her neck!! because she got very sick shortly after it was removed!!! woah... that is wild to think about. so maybe if it had stayed in there this wouldn't have happened??? but she would have kept getting abducted because they would have known her location? but earlier someone said it was the procedure that takes their eggs that makes them sick. but how does that involve the alien? who knows. probably not chris carter.

kritschgau is here now; he’s been summoned before the committee

he confesses to giving classified information because he knows what the government is hiding from the people!!!! developing a moral compass late in life

but he denies knowing who killed the guy found dead in mulder's apartment, whose name is scott…

“i’m aware of one connected death, though” <- is he going to say scully???

NO!!! his son, who died that morning!!!!! oh no :( i feel bad now 

he says that part of his work comes from a congressional lobbying firm?? called “roush”. blevins and some other guy exchange looks but skinner asks what it means. and kritschgau says idk. well. me neither 

back in scully’s room, mulder is being yelled at by bill as he tries to explain the microchip from the tube might make her better. maggie seems to want bill to settle down, while scully is staring hard at it.

she says that everyone has their heart in the right place, but it needs to be her call… oh, so diplomatic… and she decides to try it

bill looks like he wants to kill mulder, and mulder tries to dodge his eye contact. it was very emotionally charged.... but also a little bit funny 

so now the sniper guy is back. he’s setting up the rifle, but where???? and to shoot which of our characters???

bill comes out of the hospital room and mulder is working overtime to try and avoid his gaze until he realizes it is impossible.

“see, she’s your big defender, but i think the truth is, she just doesn’t want to disappoint you” <- bro WHAT?? how fucking infantilizing can you be??? just because she’s your little sister doesn’t mean she can’t make her own informed decisions about living and dying??

bill, we are GOING to throw hands at some point 

OHHHHHHHH bill blames MULDER for all of this AND for missy’s death……… again…. not very fair…. scully made her own decisions… but if i were bill, i might feel the same if it were my family….

ohhh my god this whole exchange needs to be on my blog:

“has it been worth it? to you, i mean, have you found what you’ve been looking for?”

(mulder pauses, before answering in a whisper) “no”

“you know how that makes me feel?”

“in a way, i think i do. i lost someone very close to me- i lost a sister, i lost my father- all because of this thing i’m looking for”

“this what? little green aliens?”

(mulder looks down, before smiling) “yeah. little green aliens”

“you’re one sorry son of a bitch. not a whole lot more to say”

holy FUCK

1. i love a man who loves so unabashedly and so unapologetically. i love a man with his heart on his sleeve, and i love mulder for this reason, even if he is terribly stubborn and often infuriating. look at him. look how dedicated to the truth he is. look at how much he loves her.

and 2. for their own sake, i hope they elope when they get married, but for the sake of pissing bill off, i hope they get married in a traditional fashion, and he has to sit there and watch and regret everything he said when this inevitably saves her life and they get to grow very old and happy together because of his quest for aliens. and then they say their vows and kiss and bill writhes in the knowledge that he is a mean person. that is all. for now. because i will probably have more to say later.

fuck you bill. all my friends hate bill. 

mulder's phone rings… he answers it, saying “one sorry son of a bitch speaking” and it’s CSM??? asking how’s our patient? well. i guess he can take some credit here for the potential recovery, but “our” feels strong.

he says he’s arranged a meeting he will want to attend??? hmm. hmmmmm. hmmmmm. much to ponder here. mulder do NOT make any deals, CSM is a NASTY FUGLY SLUT!!

so mulder’s sitting in a diner, sipping coffee, when someone pulls into the parking lot??? it’s CSM himself. 

WITH THE CLONE SAMANTHA FROM BEFORE???

“you know 'em or something?” “i think that’s my sister”, he says to the waitress <- WHAT??

obviously though, he realizes it’s the fake samantha, right? like this trick won’t work on him twice... right?

she looks at CSM and says “my father” <- HUH??

nah, i do not believe it’s her at all. she says she was frightened, and she tried to forget everything from that night. she was told she was going to see her father. and CSM said basically that she was an affair baby and he's the bio dad. and he took her in and was so kind.

nah. i’m not buying it at all….

but mulder is crying……….. he’s had a rough go of it though these past few days, okay?!?!?! so don't be mean to him for believing what HAS to be an obvious lie

he tries to explain that CSM is probably lying to her about many, many things, because he has obviously known mulder’s whereabouts for a very long time, and has never told her

he says that she should come see their mom… but she says she can’t do it, she needs time, she has children of their own, and she won’t tell him where to find her. I DON’T BUY IT i’m glad she left before her mom could see her, because she doesn’t deserve that heartbreak AGAIN.

he assures her they will reunite on her time and he lets her go. even though he very much does not want to. which is a lot for his character. how he lets go of the iron grip he had on her arm...

i wonder if he doesn't believe it, deep down.

she says she’ll think about it, and she leaves, getting into the car with CSM. mulder is utterly gagged. 

hmm. HMMM. CSM is trying HARD to get him to pledge to the dark side. but will the same tricks work again???

meanwhile, scully is being injected with something. but she looks so sad as her doctor doesn’t seem hopeful. 

she asks if he’s ever seen a miracle, and he says he’s seen recovery from the brink, but he won’t dare call them that

sniper guy?????? has his rife aimed at CSM??? or mulder??? or both???? because they are standing next to each other

they’re meeting up. “you give me these things- the only things i’ve ever wanted- and i can’t think of any reason for you to do so” <- HE’S LYING ABOUT THE SAMANTHA STUFF, HE HAS TO BE. WE SAW A WHOLE CLONE ARMY OF PEOPLE WITH THAT FACE. IT CANNOT REALLY BE YOUR SAMANTHA, MULDER.

but he says he will offer him the truth, about the project. mulder says he knows the truth. CSM fires back that kritschgau was the one lying!!! 

“in exchange for what?” “quit the FBI, come work for me” <- WOAH he was shockingly forward there. i can kind of admire that. now please say no, mr. mulder. 

AND HE DOES SAY NO!!!!

“what have you given me? a claim of a cure for scully? is she cured?” (oh the way he said that was SO sassy, it felt like a read)

“you show me my sister, only to take her right back” <- again. DID he do that, though?

“you murdered my father. you killed scully’s sister, and if scully dies, i will kill you” TELL HIM BABY!!

“i don’t care whose father you are, i will put you down” OUGHHH GET HIM 

sniper guy puts his gun away when mulder leaves!!! so must be it’s mulder he’s after!!!

cut to scully cam… it’s her mom!! she called to see her and gives her a big hug.

“i fight, and i fight and i fight… but i’ve been so stupid” hey what do you mean. hey sweetheart what do you MEAN by that.

OH she is having a crisis of faith…. she feels guilty for being closed off to father mccue. ohhhh....... is the blaming herself for being too scared to turn to god??

she tells maggie she has no improvement, and they hug and they cry; “i know you’re afraid', maggie says, "i know you’re afraid to tell me, but you have to tell someone”

blevins is watching more press about human cloning. is that why they do these experiments with the women? for cloning purposes? is that what i am supposed to believe from this?

blevins calls someone, and sees skinner in the background of the hearings on cloning… now what is he doing there. blevins says their colleague was supposed to fix the FBI problem, and then he will fix it for good… is he talking about the sniper?????

back to scully’s room, where she is sleeping, and mulder is entering. he’s watching her sleep, then laying his head next to her and SOBBING. WHYYYYY???? OHHHHH....... he couldn't bear to wake her up. someone please hit me with a hammer.

then he is here at a meeting with blevins, who says something urgent has arrived. it’s the analysis that shows he fired the shot into the dead guy!!! from an undisclosed source!!! and unless he offers someone else up, all evidence points to him being the killer!!

is he bluffing??? did skinner sell him out?? no, that cannot be it...

blevins claims that scully was going to name skinner as the mole, and that they have found substantial evidence against him, which mulder refuses to believe. well… he is A mole, but not THE or THIS mole!!!

he’s basically saying name skinner and you walk free????? mulder doesn’t answer, just says he’ll see blevins at the hearing. verrrrry shady

he goes back to scully, who asks why he’s here, he has a hearing!! this has never stopped him in the past. and he confesses to having stopped by last night, but not having the heart to wake her up :( she’s asking why…

he says he was going to take the deal with CSM, but changed his mind after blevins tried to get him to implicate skinner!!!

(skinner being his grounding force to returning to his sense of morality... no no no it's fine i'm definitely super cool about that)

scully offers again to take the blame, but he refuses, saying he couldn’t do that to her family or live that lie (the truth motif)

“we all have our faith… and mine is in the truth” <- YESSSSS the comparison to religion in his dedication… everyone has been saying and observing it for the past 4 seasons, but now HE has!!! 

“then why’d you come here if you’d already made up your mind?” (laughing) “because i knew you’d talk me out of it if i was making a mistake” <- OHHHH to be known is to be loved…. <3

and father mccue walks in right then!! she says “you’ll be in my prayers” and he kisses her cheek, saying “have the father say a few hail mulders for me, okay?” <- LMAOOO AWWWWW BABY

she’s crying as father mccue walks in and mulder walks out…

and her honesty in telling him that she will pray for him, after running from her own belief for so long; it was as if she thought praying would be a declaration of weakness, and maybe it is, to submit yourself to something higher, to ask for a mercy you cannot earn... but she is going to, and not only for herself on the brink of death, but for her best friend who is going through his own turmoil..... oh scully........

now for the hearing. he's late! fashionably so!

they’re setting the stage- we know that man was killed with your weapon- and mulder says he wants to set the record straight.

skinner asks for a break??? but mulder says he’s ready to proceed….. oooo what are they each getting at…. skinner looks stressed af

he says he was assigned to work with scully, who he thinks was to spy on him…

“that agent scully did not follow these orders is a testament to her integrity as an investigator, a scientist, and a human being” <- YESSS 🔥that is my girl who is motivated by the eternal burden of doing the Morally Correct Thing :,)

he’s explaining that she lied about his death because he asked her to, because she was a victim of the grand conspiracy that is killing her (this is cut with footage of the sniper looking at CSM through the scope of his rifle, and scully praying with father mccue)

he’s saying he will name the people responsible for this tonight!!! but they just want to know if he shot scott!!!! it's getting more and more tense and loud, before we boil over to a yell:

“i can’t do that sir, because the section chief is the man i’m about to name!” (murmuring) <- OHHHHHHHHHH HE DROPPED A BOMBSHELL ON THE VILLA

(we enter slo mo) (sniper fires at CSM) (blevins is shot by some other guy, who puts the pistol in his dead hand) (CSM lays on the floor, bloody, holding the picture of baby mulder and samantha)

DID CSM JUST DIE????? i refuse to believe it. that bitch can’t be killed……. nope nope no way. unless i see his corpse (NOT his headstone or his funeral, his actual CORPSE) i shan’t buy it.

so much just happened????

the next morning, skinner is with mulder at the hospital. who, as if just hearing me, tells mulder that CSM is dead, shot holding the photo of him and samantha

NO BODY WAS FOUND??? but it was too much blood loss for anyone to have survived. so someone took the body?? OR someone brought extra blood to dump on the ground and fake a death!!! makes you think!!

mulder claims he just guessed it was blevins behind it all- do i believe it? or do you think it was his years of solving crimes that allowed him to pick up on it subconsciously? i'm going with that interpretation

and blevins had been on roush’s payroll for four years!!! a biotechnology company!!! for cloning??? for aliens?? and of course all connections are now being erased.

BUT NOT EVERYTHING…. SCULLY’S IN REMISSION!!! skinner is shocked and mulder says it’s the best news he’s ever heard 😭🥺 my BABY

when skinner asks what turned it around, he says he doesn’t know, and they’ll never know…

oh my god, i love that their beliefs combined to cure her… his obsession with the Truth and her literal coming to God, and which of them was actually responsible is entirely impossible to tell. oh i actually LOVE THAT SO FUCKING MUCH. RAHHHHHH THAT IS SO POETIC. their guiding forces in life, and we have no way of knowing which is responsible for her life being saved. but it happened.

and skinner wants to see her!!!! leaving mulder to hold the bloody photograph of his baby self… and he’s crying… it’s been a very long few days for him 

oh my god… i need some time to think on this all….

so, 2 days have passed since i watched this episode, and i still have SO many emotions. in no particular order, some things i am dwelling on: bill's cruelty to mulder; mulder smiling as he held scully's hand, trying to distract her; him unable to hold himself up as he sees her in the hospital room; skinner telling mulder to know who his friends are; skinner trying to pause the meeting before it even began so he could offer some sort of advice to mulder; scully crying into her mom's arms, surrendering to god; scully, who knows that mulder is not a believer, and has ridiculed her for being so in the past, telling him that she will pray for him; scully worrying about him when she is the one who is dying; scully reclaiming her agency when she decides that she wants to use the microchip; mulder saying that her remission is the best news he could ever have possibly heard; and skinner going in to see her while she was still surrounded by her family

WAAHHHHHHHHHH

so. a lot on my mind. a very, very, very good episode. i thought the blevins reveal kinda came out of nowhere since he has mostly been a set piece rather than a real character, but honestly, that wasn't the heart of the matter here, so we can disregard it.

i'm not sure how i feel about the potential samantha reintroduction. actually, i do know how i feel: i just didn't much care for it. frankly, i just don't buy it at all, and it felt like a lot to cram into one episode, especially since they've used the whole "is it really her?" plot point before. so it felt like a bit much on top of the already incredibly high emotional stakes.

but other than these thoughts, the episode was fantastic. finally, we get something happy! the potential end of scully's illness! mulder and skinner basking in her presence as she recovers!! her surrender to the omnipotent! his surrender to the truth, but not at the extent of his morals!!! everyone is so happy and the wedding is tomorrow!! i will see you there!!!

(what did you think?? did you like this one as much as i did?? did any moments make you tear up?? anything you noticed that i missed? please tell me!!! i'm really excited and want to chat on the subject :D)

[explodingchantry]

A review of Veilguard from a long time, die hard fan of Dragon Age

When the review embargo on Veilgurd was lifted, I found it hard to take any review at face value. Dragon Age is unfortunately the one series I am very pretentious about, and I can’t trust reviews from people who aren’t huge Dragon Age fans like I am and who don’t hold the same views as me -- those views being, to keep it short, that Anders was right and justified, that he is one of the most tragic characters in the entire series, that he is a hero, that Bioware’s writing can be shockingly biased at times in the wrong ways, and that Inquisition is really not that good at all. These opinions have a lot of weight in whether I will listen to someone about Dragon Age matters. And I haven’t see a proper review from someone like this -- though granted as soon as the game came out I locked down and refused to look at anything in fear of spoilers lol. 

This review will be spoilers free, and there will be an addition at some point with all the spoilers and what I think about specific story details, because I have so much to say. 

The TL;DR? It’s a good game. If you like Dragon Age like I do, you’ll like it. If you open your heart to it, you’ll love it. It was made with love. 

This will be divided in section based on people’s biggest worries about the game and how much I have to say about each of them.

The art direction

Honestly I was a defender of the art style as soon as the trailers started coming out and my opinion has not changed lol. Dragon Age was never exactly known for its graphics - Origins and DA2 look… okay. And Inquisition was fine for its time but has aged like the most rotten milk you could find. Its environments are still pretty, but its characters, man… I’m sorry, it just hasn’t aged well. Frostbite engine did not help Bioware in this case. They’ve spoken about how it was a new engine for them and how they struggled with it and it shows. 

This game? Oh boy, yeah, no, I can believe they got a handle of Frostbite now. It is breathtaking. The environments are crafted so meticulously and with so much love, the lighting is beautiful and that’s even without RTX (because I’m in the AMD gang and can’t splurge on Nvidia lol). Many many times I would stop and go into photo mode either to take screenshots or to just admire the world around me. I’d spam screenshot in cutscenes, too. The character animations are good, especially the facial expressions -- though the body animations remain a tad stiff, like everyone’s got a broom up their ass and forgot their spine can bend and move. It’s not that big of a deal, but I did notice it a couple times. 

You can tell Bioware had fun both with character design and with the environments, now that they’re free of Ferelden’s basic medieval england looking ass. You grow attached to the beautiful and lively environments. Treviso has got to be my favorite, but there’s a lot for everyone in there. 

And no, the smoother art style does not make the game less dark. If anything, some of the enemy redesigns really help make the game scarier. The first time I was faced with the blight in game, even though I’d seen it in all of the promotional screenshots and trailers -- I was horrified and sickened by just how gross they made it look (and sound.). I promise you, you shouldn’t be scared of that. 

The emotional moments sold well even “in spite of” the art style. I don’t know, it’s hard for me to even understand people’s worries about that. Not everything’s got to be hyper-realistic, ya’ll. 

The combat system

That IS one thing I was a tad worried about, when we first saw it. It looked good, but it was definitely a departure from what we were used to. 

Honestly, to sell my point, we have to look at the previous games’ combat system. I don’t actually know if there’s a specific name for this style aside from, idk, “CRPG combat” lol. I like to refer to it as MMORPG combat because you mostly see it in MMOs now, I feel. Your character cycles through a bunch of basic combat animations for basic attacks, and has a lot of abilities to throw in combat which can synergise which each other. DAO had the best system, but DA2 felt best to play due to the updated and dynamic animations and faster paced combat. DAI had the weakest both due to the way they overhauled the classes (especially mages) and made us lose fan-favorite specialisations (spirit healer and blood mage) with not much in exchange. It was simplified and a bit sluggish, in my opinion. It missed the strategy imposed by DAO as well as the punch from DA2. 

And of course, there’s the battle tactics. You get to basically program companion AIs and can chain some really, really good combos with them. It’s really fun once you get the hang of it, but let’s be real: very few people did. Very few people actually used them, as good of a system as it was. 

This combat system… has aged a tad, unfortunately. It doesn’t fit today’s gaming landscape, but even if it did… It would need more to land, I think, if they kept it as it was. Something to make it feel less sluggish, more intense, more involved. Make the attacks FEEL like they land and hit and hurt the enemy. Because the harsh truth is, although DAO has the most in depth combat system of all of the games -- it also has numerous popular mods to skip combat entirely. 

Combat in Veilguard feels really, really good. When I first started I often found myself grinning, going “oh HELL yeah” at the screen, because it felt so good. I almost raised the difficulty a few times because I wanted combat to last longer because it just felt so damn good. I do wish it was a bit deeper, especially in the case of combos, but it remained nonetheless fun to cycle through abilities and companions depending on the area and type of enemies I was fighting. It feels more action-y, but it isn’t a damn hack n slash like I’ve seen people say lol. Have none of these people ever heard of the term action RPG or what. Because that’s what Veilguard is. It’s an action RPG and there’s nothing wrong with that. 

I think Bioware always kind of wanted to move towards this, as well. Since DAO, Dragon Age felt like it kept its combat system not because it was the most fitting for the games Bioware wanted to make, but because they “had to”. Because it was right for the genre. Because it’s what players expect. Because they’d get backlash if they didn’t. But they finally decided to change it, and I think it’s right, for Veilguard. I think Bioware had fun making this system, and it is very much extremely fun to play. 

My only wish is for spirit healer and blood mage specialisation to come back, and for companion leveling up to have been deeper and more varied. They basically have set abilities that you level up and though you can change some aspects of them, that’s it. But it remains a good system. I liked it. I genuinely have really enjoyed fighting in this game and will be exploring all classes and specialisations thoroughly in my next replays, as well as exploring every difficulty. 

The writing

It’s fine. It’s brilliant, at times. Cringy, at others. And you want to know a secret?

You could say that about every god damn Dragon Age game, lol.

I’ve recently -- as in, very recently -- replayed the whole series in preparations for Veilguard. Not only did it have cringe-worthy moments in all games, but some even made me grimaces. DAO is staggeringly misogynistic both for its time and for its setting: You are told in the character creator that men and women are equal in Thedas only to constantly face outward sexism at every turn. It’s shocking. As for DA2, it’s weirdly mean spirited. It calls a lot of its characters crazy and makes fun of them for the meanest fucking reasons. It has a character who fights for his people’s freedom approve of you when you give another character over to a slaver, for fuck’s sake lol. It is very mean. This one is the most “product of its time” of all three, because DAO was misogynistic even for its time lol. And DAI… well, DAI is bland and lacks depth and feeling ina almost everything lmfao. 

Veilguard holds your hand a lot, especially in the beginning, and kind of babies you at times. It also suffers from painful expository moments. Thing is, I feel for Bioware: They have three games and dozens of side media’s worth of lore to explain to you, and have to keep in mind not only that some players will have never heard of Dragon Age, or that some have only played the games and never touched the side media, or that they played the games a whole DECADE ago and can’t remember shit. It’s hard. I would’ve done better lol but it IS difficult. I feel for them. 

Some things are a little less excusable, like the game REALLY holding your hand through a couple puzzles and through the fact that you need to focus on companions and do their quests etc. A part of me wonders if it came out of playtesting, or something. It definitely took me out of it a little bit, not gonna lie. It felt quite jarring. 

There’s a couple other things, like having far too much telling in places. I’d also have liked to do some of the cool stuff my Rook does in cutscenes within actual gameplay, lol. And there were beats where I was left thinking “... that’s it?”, which is never good. 

The codex entries are great and interesting though. Only game in the franchise where I read every single codex entries I found (AND I FOUND ALMOST ALL OF THEM!!!!). A lot of them are fascinating, but more are just very sweet or funny, and they help build the characters and the world. 

And my god, those characters are ALIVE. I truly understand when Bioware said they really put emphasis on the companions. There are so many cute banters, a lot of which you can catch in the lighthouse, as well as little scenes that mostly serve to humanise the companions and make them feel alive. Not only that, but you also get attached to a lot of NPCs -- and I do mean a lot. Each faction has NPCs I cared for deeply, and you always just get to visit them and talk to them, even if it’s just them saying a line or two of dialogue at you. It still helps to build a relationship with them, and care for them. And your companions interact with them sometimes, too! And they have history! It makes the world genuinely feel so much more alive and makes you feel so much more involved than you were in DAI! They manage to transform from pixels on a screen there to give you quests to actual characters with rich lives and feelings that you want to see succeed.

I romanced Lucanis and he is by far my favorite of the companions, but I love all of them. This means it’s the first game in the series where I genuinely really love all the companions. There was always one, maybe two, in each game whom I didn’t care much about or which pissed me off -- but they’re all immensely likeable here, and I care so much about not only my Rook’s relationship to them, but their relationships to each other. And there’s so many little banters, notes, and codex entries which helps further their bond and makes them feel like roommates. It’s very sweet and enjoyable.

I also love my Rook a lot. I played mostly as a sarcastic Rook who was very impulsive and wasn’t afraid to speak their feelings out. There are times you can express genuine fear, hurt, or anger at certain NPCs or situations, and the line delivery really carries it. They felt alive and involved, so much more than the Inquisitor ever did. My Rook has a personality, and not only that, but the way the factions were integrated was really nice. I played as an elven mage grey warden, and each of those bits came up a lot. I’m a bit miffed that you don’t get to choose whether you were dalish or city elf, and more miffed that the game/npcs try to explain dalish lore at you even when you put a wholeass vallaslin on your character, but aside from that I’m rather pleased with the integration of the faction. I imagine some factions (lords of fortune) got the shorter end of the stick - but playing as a grey warden was deeply rewarding in this game. Rook can make comment about it in dialogue, in banter, and other characters mention it too. I got to discuss the joining with another warden, and my Rook commented a few things about their time in the order. And it made my friendship with Davrin mean so much more, too. It also made every plot point involving the wardens hit like a TRUCK. 

And my god, do some of the missions in this game hit like a truck. The villains are believably terrifying. This isn’t Corypheus 2.0. I hadn’t felt this level of dread in Dragon Age since DAO. Some missions especially have rocked me to my core, and some of them I consider to be absolute masterpieces (Weisshaupt, my god Weisshaupt. My favorite mission in any Bioware game, period.) I wish the last boss had been scarier and stronger, though. I felt it did fall short in regards to that. Funny enough a lot of the side bosses were harder than main bosses. That was a bit sad. But yes, Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain feel like gods that you are facing. It is so much better than DAI in that regard.

The game does make you care deeply about everything happening, I can promise you that. And it manages to make even vehement Solas haters like him. I used to be a Solas hater back in 2014/2015, though I did mellow out over my replays. By my last Inquisition replay I did come around to him and was just mildly annoyed at how popular he was because I still found him overhyped, mostly because he suffered from DAI’s bland writing. But Veilguard makes you care for him, and elicits a lot of strong reactions towards him. He’s made me cheer, and also made me feel extreme anger, and then a lot of sympathy. He’s a marvelously complex character and one of Bioware’s best. He went from being one of my least favorite characters to one of my favorites - potentially even top 10 material. This is high praise for me lol. 

The matter of bringing choices in is…. Well, not gonna lie, a few events I was like “hm, no this wouldn’t happen in my world state” or “oh I wish they took in account past choices for this scene/plot point”. It remains an extremely baffling choice from Bioware and I remain really pissed off about it, lol. 

The Inquisitor was fine. I’m not attached to the Inquisitor, so I’m not able to make many comments about them. I’ve seen other people who ARE attached feel happy about their inclusion, so I’d go with that. There were a few nice moments. 

Act 3 is absolutemy amazing, also. It's engaging and terrifying and broke my heart several times. I do not cry easily but I was left sobbing and whimpering at Bioware lmfao. Granted, it was my first playthrough, and my emotions were heightened by having a new Dragon Age game after so long. But I do think Act 3 is just... really, really good. It gets the point of the game across very well, too.

The lore

This… is where the game falls short the most, for me. 

Don’t get me wrong: we get a LOT of new lore and a lot of it is insanely satisfying when you’ve been in the trenches for a decade and had tons of theories. A lot of discoveries left me buzzing with thoughts, new theories, ideas, and excitement. It was exhilarating. 

But there’s many points where, as a guy who just casually reads the lore books for fun, I was left saying “uh, no, that’s not true” to “that doesn’t make any fucking sense”. Mostly, a lot of my issues comes with the integration of the politics of the game. Dragon age has always been a political series, in the sense that the politics of Thedas are just as important as any threat we face in the game. And for like 15 years, the north was built up in a certain way -- and in many aspects, Veilguard does deliver. In others, it feels like it glosses over very important lore, or just tries to gaslight you into thinking you were wrong all along. Some of it is clever recontextualising that I did appreciate, considering all the lore we DO know is in universe, which means biased by the areas we learn the lore from. But there are a few times where the lore breaks took me out of the game and felt very immersion breaking.

Unfortunately I can’t go to much further into this without spoiling anything, but it’s definitely where I was the most disappointed. It’s small things, it’s always small things, but it’s definitely made me either raise my eyebrows or be very disappointed at times. I’ve already spoken about a bit of it in previous posts, and need to write something lengthy about magic specifically. Just beware that if you are insane about the lore, it is where the game will fall short at points. But it will also offer you amazing lore in turn, so you know. It’s a balancing act. 

It feels like the writing has mellowed out in this aspect. It makes me wonder how different the past games would be, if written by these people. How different this game would've been, if it was written by past writers. Only game where I've gone "wait why am I not getting hate crimed right now".

Also the secret post credit scene sucks entire ass and ruins everything lmfao I am ignoring it entirely.

There’s obviously a lot more I want to say about many things. I want to talk about Lucanis, about Taash, about Emmrich, about Harding -- about everyone, really. But that’ll be for further, spoiler-full posts. 

I’ll also save some more in depth review for a later post because I wanna go play dolls in the character creator again.

[rienziera]

I have climbed highest mountains,

…but I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

[prisen09]

My favorite mood board that I’ve made so far- except for my jedtavius one ofc

[timmurleyart]

Band from Dublin. 🚙🪐🍋🎶🥁🇮🇪🎸

[alison321singer]

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For 1b

I am singing and Sangeon Jang is playing the guitar for the song called "I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For by U2" recorded through my microphone.

"Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use." All rights go to their respective owners. No Copyright Infringements of rights intended. I make no money from my videos, which means none of my videos are monetize.

Yes, I have permission to use this music as a backing track. From Sangeon Jang, "you can use it if you include the source."

Guitar arrangement by Sangeon Jang / JS-WAVE Source to original video: https://youtu.be/6UafUkQW6us?si=j3VuQZCruE4_D6HZ Song: I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For Artist: U2 Genres: Alternative/Indie, Rock

[abel660660]