#I still have yet to classpect them but it will be soon. I have to grab my friend who knows classpects better than anyone I know

[mewmewdoppio]

Look. I have a vision

(more of the vision under the cut)

[bladekindeyewear]

:33< Do you ever plan on reviewing the new HS:BC updates or analyzing them from a classpect perspective? I love to read your musings on the stuff!

I’ve been really looking forward to catching up on HS^2 and all the bonus material and sharing my thoughts (I missed HS^2 and was happy to see it back!), but I’m juggling (non-dangerous) medical issues and a job search and still don’t have the energy to make fresh posts about Homestuck yet.

What spare energy I have has been spent on self-care, ie goofing off— Dragon’s Dogma 2 has been great, the first big game I’ve had the energy to actually pour myself into in quite a long time (with the extra free time / reduced stress between jobs and my limited spoons), and when done with that soon I’ll probably find some other game to spend my free time on after that instead of the slightly more emotionally laborious act that would be keeping up with regular Homestuck updates and getting really invested in new speculation again. We’ll see in another month or three.

[ghoulfr13nd]

ok so next it seems like i should talk about how i relate to each title!!!

so maid of light honestly isn’t as applicable (especially when i look to my friend who also got that title — as similar as we are, i think that it fits her much better than it does me), but i really like witch of void because i enjoy the idea of manipulation of what is known and what isn’t. for a long time i was very secretive about my own thoughts and opinions, and would only reveal things when it felt right to. i also felt like in general i used information this way. also the concept of manipulating the presence of actual things, moving the “void” or nonexistence of a thing as i desire. and the challenge of determining when something like that is actually necessary and when it isn’t. sometimes i’ve been a little too open and honest, ya know?

however breath really speaks to me, and that’s sort of why i’ve settled on it. i have been very anxious to go out and do things on my own, and wouldn’t go places unless i had someone to go with me. i also have really struggled to be my own person, and i have historically depended on people who didn’t have my best interests at heart and i really gave my all to for some reason. so i really identify with this challenge (that i now feel like i’ve overcome!) to become independent and do things on my own. i guess in a way it actually ties into how i related to void? i don’t keep who i am to myself the way i used to. i say what i think and i do what i want, and go where i please, regardless of whether anyone wants to follow. and i’ve always had this tendency to do that, that i just hadn’t embraced. i would go places with people and sometimes abandon them (in groups with several people where they would still have each other. theyre not actually totally alone and i didnt go far!!) to be on my own for a bit, floating off sort of like a meandering breeze. i’ve also always felt really connected to air and the wind and actually when i first got into classpects, i WANTED to be breath SO BAD. i love void, but i’ve always connected to breath!

at first i thought maid, because i depended on others and now i’m turning around and going no, i’m made of this stuff! but i came around to rogue because their struggle is all about control and independence, and struggling with their aspect in a way where they often feel let down and like they’re unable to fully grasp it. maid also has this sort of assumption that you have to take care of others without being noticed, and i feel like thats been more of a struggle for me than it has been a lesson i’ve needed to learn. with rogue, you still get this deal where you’re able to use your powers to be of use to others, but ultimately you need to be able to stand on your own and see your own worth. i relate to that more.

so i guess i would be rogue of breath with my sub-aspect in void!!! i love that concept and it feels good and comfy to me.

but yeah i briefly looked at page of heart!!! i simply think it is the most transgender title. what is more transgender than not knowing who you are and feeling a severe lack of it and then having a huge revelation and now you KNOW who you are and what you want and what you feel?

you also said yours would be light or rage? PLEASE tell me more i would love love love to hear your connection to them!!!

ALSO YOUR LAND SOUNDS SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m obsessed with the aesthetics. do you have a lot of. uh. what are they called. the guys. do you have guys there. the. they are often amphibious. do you have them

i don’t have a land myself 😔 i was never able to figure out one i liked to go with void (perhaps a sign, lol) and i don’t have anything to go with breath yet. i really like the word “zephyr” but i dont know what to pair with it…. i’m open to ideas if you have any!!

also this list ruuuuules, i hope they have tours near you soon!!! and i KNOW how you FEEL about missing a concert you’d wish you’d gone to:((( its an awful feeling!!! thats why i’m so crazy about concerts these days! i jump at most opportunities.

and thank you!!! i hope that i do too. i’m really digging the idea of a he/him nonbinary situation but i’m noncommittal jdksjdjd. right now the goal is to get top surgery and go from there. i have thought about T but i really like my voice and idk if i want to change it :0 i WOULD like hairier legs though….. uhhh is this tmi? idk. anyway. I MIGHT BE SEEING ANOTHER ARTIST ON THE LIST SOON!!!!!!!!!!! shout out to my mother bc this one is an early birthday present for my shit head brother heh heh heh

i can totally imagine french sounds weird if you’re used to more slavic languages. it sounds kinda weird in general. i don’t remember a ton…… uhhhh. mon chien est bien? my dog is good. hfksjdkskskd uhhhh. je m’apelle tob. my name is tob. uhh. “avec” means “with”. c’est tragique (it is tragic). “confiture” is like. “jam.”

hungarian is going well though!! i really really love learning it, i’m having so much fun. that being said, it IS difficult :0 i’m learning it though because two of my bestest friends in the whole world live in hungary!! i want to be able to speak their first language the way they are able to speak mine, and i want to be able to be at least a little independent when i go to visit!! i’ll actually be visiting them very soon >:3c i’m hoping my toddler version of hungarian will make the cut hdksjdjdj. but uhhh let me display my skills for ya!!

jó napot, uram! hogy hívjak? én amerikai vagyok, és egy kisci beszélek magyarul. az étteremben állok. nagyon szomjas vagyok! egy pohar víz kerek.

(good afternoon/hello, sir! what is your name? (emphatic) i am american, and i speak a little hungarian. i am standing in the restaurant. i am very thirsty! i would like a glass of water.)

thats very cool though!!!! if you ever need help with english grammar, i used to be an english major (before The Disease and i dropped out of school so i wouldnt have to fuck with all that) and i love writing and language in general! my friends also know a bit of german, and one of them has been taking japanese classes and is getting pretty good :0 overall i’m so jealous of people in other countries who’s language education was emphasized more. i think it is pathetic that american schools don’t even require spanish classes. i have a lot of opinions on our education system though (i was also an education major hfskdjkd) that i will spare you. anyway, all that being said, i think your english is great! i haven’t noticed any grammar issues or anything myself, so i’d say you’re doing pretty good. i guess maybe i could just used to how my friends speak english, but i didn’t notice anything!

ALSO YOUR ANIMATIC SOUNDS SO GOOD?! this is simply good food. if there is cringe here i do not see it. x-x

well its also like, the dudes who normally recommend me german metal already have… other red flags that i’m wary of, so unfortunately i’ve connected them to it:( which is a shame bc i totally agree with you, it DOES sound good!!! its such a fun language for the genre! and too with the bands making an effort to show theyre not, uh…. well. you know. violently conservative. people still ignore that and do what they want with it.

but gotcha :0 so german’s not big for you, eh… i actually didn’t know Kim Petras was German!

i feel like i should be saying more here but idk what else to say about it so. yeah. anyway.

i think thats everything?! let me know if theres something i missed that you were wanting me to reply to. i’m so glad these are answered and we can go back to our usual back and forth. i enjoy reading the long asks but i am so so bad at replying to them unfortunately ;w;

lots of love!! muah muah right back to ya!!! 💛💛

hi!! gosh i'm so glad it didn't seem this way, sometimes i say things and i worry a lot how they come across (it's the overthinking mixed with good ol' 'tism fsnfds) like "oh god what if it sounded subtly manipulative, what if i give off bad vibes, what if im making them uncomfortable" etc etc like. god. fgsdh so i actually appreciate the honesty and assurance that you'd told me if i did something out of the line! fhsdk i think that's a good thing you don't force yourself! it means you're honest with others and yourself and that's a great thing! :D

also im happy you don't feel obligated to make aspect playlists because it's legit one of my fave hobbies so it's nice to share this passion! :D and i already sent you ask with my opinion about your started playlists but it bares repeating that i love what you've got so far!!!

oh we're oversharing? don't mind if i do too! fhsdjl (i can't send pictures on anon but i can still copy my results!) Warmth 26% Intellect 50% Emotional Stability 26% Aggressiveness 38% Liveliness 14% Dutifulness 54% Social Assertiveness 26% Sensitivity 74% Paranoia 66% Abstractness 90% Introversion 30% Anxiety 86% Openmindedness 54% Independence 90% Perfectionism 26% Tension 46% it's so funny to me that according to this quiz we're basically polar opposites in Warmth, Aggressiveness, Social Assertiveness and Perfectionism 😭 also your scores are more like- in the middle? while i have mainly extremes? which im pretty sure is saying something! fhdfjlsdk

i think you once briefly mentioned you were at Barns Courtney concert once but without any details! i'm so jelous i love Courtney so much! 99 is great song and oh, to have a t shirt with its lyrics! which lyric specifically is there??? 👀

Valley of the Dolls is such a good song and you're so right, it also IS SO GENDER FHDSJK and here, the Void playlist! :D Ghost by Mystery Skulls Everything Black by Unlike Pluto Dawn of Man by Michael Guy Bowman We Are The Universe by Pink Elefants Skeleton by Set It Off Midnight Thoughts by Set It Off Queen of Nothing by Elliot Lee Dance in the Dark by Au/Ra ECHO by CrusherP Ghost by Tris Mikal Circles by KIRA dark hour by DEMONDICE Tranz by Gorillaz The Underground by 8 Graves x Unlike Pluto OK by 8 Graves awake at night by halfalivea Cannonball by Barns Courtney Valley Of The Dolls by Marina And The Diamonds Body by Mother Mother Ghosting by Mother Mother (with void i remember having a talk with my friend where we were trying to make void more cheerful because "just because it's void it doesn't have to be sad" but uh, i don't think we succeeded here fgsdj)

and oh boy, the whole rage playlist? i don't know if it's super, super long, but there's a looot more here than in the rest of our playlists fgsdjk (also it's kind of edgy but i think it comes with territory here fhdsjk) but since you aksed, here it is! :D Rage: Judged by Billy Talent Light 'Em Up by Fall Out Boy Raging on a Sunday by Bohnes Dark Side by Blind Channel Not Afraid To Die by Written By Wolves Cynics & Critics by Icon for Hire The Pretender by Foo Fighters Wolf in Sheep's Clothing by Set It Off It All Adds Up by Shinedown Kings and Clones by We Are The Empty Jericho by Celldweller One For The Money by Escape the Fate Riot by Three Days Grace You're Going Down by Sick Puppies GASOLINE by Måneskin KULT by Steve Aoki Stick Up by grandson Amerika by Rammstein Survivalism by Nine Inch Nails Eyeless by Slipknot Totally Spies by Lead Horizon devil may care by Fae Gun In My Hand by Dorothy Boohoo Baby by Snaggletooth BLOODMONEY by Poppy STFU by Rina Sawayama Angry Too by Lola Blanc Two Face (Dark Version) by Jake Daniels Sometimes by Nick Lutsko Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother Villains, Pt. 1 by Emma Blackery In The Next Life by Kim Petras Madness by Ruelle Seven Devils by Florence + the Machine Tot Musica by Ado (in general i automatically sorted songs by similar vibes/genres but since it's rage me and my friend kind of intended for this playlist to be played on shuffle, it has to be unpredictable!)

ohh yeah, as a heart player that's also aromantic seeing so many interpretations of Heart as basically Romance Aspect felt so alienating 😭 everyone was giving such flimsy arguments too! "oh it's because Nepeta loves shipping/romance and Dirk has messy romantic life and Heart is about emotions and what's more emotional than romance" etc etc and it presents it as if people can't have intense emotions about their friends, i hate this automatic putting romance on some sort of pedestal but that's general problem, not only homestuck specific fgsdjk but also it's wild to me when people try to act as if the rest of the cast didn't have messy romantic lives, most of them had, Romance is not Heart locked in the comic! so even then this argument doesn't make sense! if we'd have to make any aspect being about Romance i'd choose rather Hope or Light, based on what was happening in the comic but I don't see anybody locking Romance into these aspects because they aren't heart-shaped and pink ☹ oh my god, excuse me, this turned into a rant i just have a lot of Feelings about this fgsdjfkl;fsdhgj but here's our Heart playlist! gdsfjl: Copycat by CircusP TV Head by Elliot Lee Human by Anavae O My Heart by Mother Mother Maurice's Monsters by Small Leaks Sink Ships Mystery to Myself by Brick + Mortar Love Like You by Rebecca Sugar still feel. by half•alive Sick of the Silence by Mother Mother Monster by Imagine Dragons Tak… Tak… To Ja by Obywatel G.C. Not Your Kind of People by Garbage Theatre by Icon For Hire Dance With My Demons by Blame My Youth Metamorphosis by Penny Parker So Am I by Ava Max Soulmate by Lizzo I'm Good The Mowgli's Who I Am by The Score The Masquerade by Go! Child (with heart i kind of wanted to create a some sort of story of a heart player not being sure of their identity/not liking themselves/not understanding their emotions but then slowly accepting and becoming sure of themselves :D it's so important to me for this playlist to end with The Masquerade too fsdgfsdgfh)

oh about the Life playlist! i'm glad you liked these songs! if you liked Ado she has a lot of great songs and such a great and powerful voice! and the animations in her songs just- chef's kiss :D also me and my friend were going for a very specific vibe here! like, sometimes i think about specific type of player while i make aspect playlists, for example, we have 2 playlists for light, one with general idea of Light and a second one for like- a very Vriska type of light player where we focus more about the spotlight and the need to be on the foreground of the story fgsdfjk: Monster by KIRA Candle Queen by GHOST Primadonna Girl by Marina etc. so with this specific Life playlist we were going with a interpretation of Life player that goes to the top and aims for success and wealth, kind of like Meenah or HIC fgdsjkf but うっせぇわ by Ado for Aggretsuko… god, now I can't unsee this! fhdsfjk

OMG pls do the classpect theories for the spiderverse characters when you feel up to it i'd be so down to read them!!! :O

fgasdjfklakhs thank you for indulging me with my aspect playlists!! fgsdjk

ooh maybe if we put it into homestuck narrative, it could be read like- you changing since you identified as a Witch of Void as your Witch powers evolving to the point where you seamlessly can manipulate void into light! that'd be cool, could mean you basically leveled up! fsdgfjk of course you still can choose the other two options too! that's the beauty of classpects, under certain circumstances and under certain interpretations so many classpects could fit one person fhsdjkfds you know! once i found in classpect community there was a system that's like- they had one Main Classpect and sub-aspect! like, I mainly identify with Page of Heart but my sub-classpect could be Page of Light (or sub-subclasspect Page of Rage fhsdj) i think it's a nice system for the undecided! :D and i'd be actually very interested in hearing why and how do you relate to these three titles! if you feel like it, of course!

you used to consider page of heart too? that's wild im shaking ur hand! 🤝 :D but what does this classpect means to me hmm you know how pages start with deficit in their aspect even though they think they are full of it and that inspires others into helping pages with their aspect and also that they have endless potential but their journey is extremely slow? yeah that's me with a lot of aspects actually but heart is the strongest here fgsdajkf oh boy do i have a land fdgsfjlas it's Land of Trilliums and Static! (according to the internet, Trilliums symbolize consciousness btw!) LoTaS from the space looks like a funny mirror version of Earth, the grass is pink and water pastel blue, the whole planet seems to be pulsing with red light but on the ground everything looks mostly normal, outside of unusual colors. water is normal, fauna is normal, everything seems ok and almost like our earth with a small exception the planet is almost DROWNING in early stage Trilliums and all these flowers are stuck in a white noise, unmoving and stagnant, lost what to do without a Signal. in the middle of big ocean there's a big tower that can be seen even from cosmos, it pulses with bright red light as well. the main quest is to bring back the signal to the planet so the Trilliums can get out of the static and make them grow and develop fingerguns do YOU have a Land per chance??? 👀👀

ooh what's on my dream list? i think Rammstein is probably at the top of bands i'd love to see! (i had an opportunity once but i didn't take it and i'm still so sad when i think about it fgdsjfksd) maybe Mother Mother? Imagine Dragons, Billy Talent, The Score, Barns Courtney, Måneskin, Metric and Fall Out Boy would be cool also i think, just from the top of my head! :D awh then i hope you'll be able to see at least 60% of these artists!! and there's always time to decide, gender presentation can get complicated sometimes fsdjk the most important thing is to feel comfy with it i reckon!

your grandmother knew what it was all about, that's the only thing you really need to live in foreign country fgsdjkf oooh french, do you remember something from school? 👀 (you mentioned that german sounds weird to you and i think i can honestly say french sounds weird to me btw fgdsjk) and hungarian! :O why did you decide to learn hungarian if i can ask? im curious because it's not the language i usually see people want to learn fhsdjkl and how's the learning? i heard that slavic languages can be hard to learn for english native speakers! for me i can confidently say i am bilingulal, my mother language + english (even though some of english grammar still baffles me ;v;) but outside of that i can't say i know any other language as good, i know some german, a tiny bit of italian and maybe microscopic bit of japanese but certainly not enough to have a comfortable conversation 😔

AND OH BOY THIS ANIMATIC IS FDHSGFJLKSD A LOT HM. OK!!! so- it's supposed to be like the No Mercy Run, it starts with Reset button being clicked during this brief moment before the counting starts, then on "Eins" we see Frisk killing the first monster leaving dust behind, they do that on every count, so like: on Eins - Froggit, Zwei - Whimsun, Drei - Toriel, Vier - Snowdrake, Fünf - Doggo, Sechs - Dog Marriage, Sieben - Papyrus, Acht - Shyren, Neun - Dummy, just going through the world, killing without any thought, easily, and on "aus" we get to the Monster Kid, trying to kill em and here comes Undyne the Undying, then on the first "drop" in the song i wanted for the fight to begin, Frisk failing, getting killed left and right, resetting constantly. then when singing starts again at "Everyone is waiting for the light" Frisk is slightly glowing, through the first verse Frisk's getting better and better at the fight. when the chorus starts with each count Frisk lies an attack and in the meanwhile while Undyne starts melting, on Vier Undyne turns to dust, then on "here comes the sun" and during second verse we can see Frisk ominously walking through the underground, there's something akin to a halo around their head, they kill more monsters until they stand before sans. this time on each count Frisk gets killed by sans, and where there are words after the count ("here comes the sun", "it is the brightest star of them all") we can see glimpses to the pacifist route. during verse 3 we basically can see Frisk talking to sans during singing, visuals kind of almost literally showing what is being sung. then! on the count from one to three Frisk's getting closer to killing him, on five they do, then on six they get to asgore, on seven flowey dies, on eight and nine Frisk and Chara stand against each other, the light goes to Chara and Frisk gets killed and then, when there's this feminine vocalization at the end we are stuck in the complete blackness and that is a rough draft of my very edgy animatic of No Mercy run fgdsjkfsdfhl let the cringe consume me!!!!

and you know, i can't blame you for this being a red flag for you fgdsjkf trust me even people from outside of america can still be so WEIRD about german culture UGHHHH in one of Rammstein's official videos from their song Deutschalnd (which predictably is about germany) they cast a black woman as a personification of their country and you can imagine how normal (heavy sarcasm) certain fans were about it :') but i can't say i'm that surprised, this band is openly left leaning and yet people will find a way to completely miss this fact somehow ;; but you know, honestly i think the main reason why my top metal bands are german is because i think this language sounds great in this genre fgsdjk i know very little about german culture, even with family there fgshkf outside of metal i don't listen to german too much, i think the only other artist that's german i listen to is Kim Petras and even she sings mostly in english

and ok then! :D i already included 3 rather long playlists so i'm not going to write more here but maybe in other ask i will try~

and pls don't apologize for the lenghth i love reading your answers so much! also this time i wrote even more i feel like so you know fsdgjk sending much love!

music anon 🎶

you are so good anon dw dw!! i'm also like, a pretty patient person in general, so it takes a lot for me to get annoyed with someone to begin with :0 also like, i've learned a lot from past friendships/relationships that i dont want to lie about how i'm feeling. i think it is a disservice not only to myself, but to others.

anyhow, YES, ASPECT PLAYLISTS (AND AS YOU KNOW BY NOW, CLASS PLAYLISTS!!!) absolutely not an obligation!!! to skip down in your ask a little bit -- i listened to yours!!! the vibes are SO GOOD for real!! i enjoyed void a lot, but rage was where it was at for me!! honestly, i know i still have other asks to get into and idk if its going to be talked about again there, but i was like "gosh, yes, mac is a rage player! this is a mac playlist!" while listening to it. and i loved the journey you created for heart!!

also its so funny that you mention that if anything, Hope or Light would be the more "romantic" aspect because i had the EXACT same thought right before you sent your ask!!!! but no, like, reducing Nepeta to her shipping wall and Dirk to his relationships is so... i don't know what word to use. uh. bad? SKDFJG i mean like dirk, prince of life, is literally destroying his own identity by fucking his own head up by making copies of himself. he's so completely detached from his sense of self and thats his like!! whole struggle!! i don't want to get too into it bc its admittedly been a long time since i really interacted with actual character lore but, i have further thoughts on him and nep that i might revisit once i refresh my memory on them.

anyway thank you for sharing your playlists!! jumping back up for a minute becauseeee we need to talk about the quiz results!! to me your extremes tell me that you're really sure about what you are and what you aren't :0 whereas my self-view is a little more... wishy-washy. AND YEAH SJDFKH WE ARE OPPOSITES IN THOSE... and we're tension twins B) and we're similarly introverted too :0

actually i can't believe we're the homestuck guys and we haven't talked about our signs!! do you know what yours are? i'm not sure how much i buy into astrology but i think its fun. i'm a virgo sun, aries moon, aries rising sdfkjsh

also re: Barns Courtney shirt, the line on it is "wipe the stardust from your eyes" and has a cool design on it! i like the shirt a lot but i uh. i dont wear it much.... i would if i didnt have . a huge chest

as for the spiderverse guys!! idk when i'll get around to that kjshdfh i gotta wait for it to hit the right parts of my brain again. maybe someday......

ok so i fell asleep here but im going to finish this before i carry on with my day

so. ok. holdo n im actually going to combine these and i might not have time to finish it before i leave. but. im going to switch tracks to the classpect playlists and with that -- this ask!

OK SO!! I'D forgotten you also talk about dirk here :0 BUT IM SO GLAD YOURE ENJOYING THE HEART PLAYLIST

and on that note

IM DYING TO KNOW WHAT PLAYLISTS ARE MAKING YOU FEEL EMOTIONS AND HWAT THE EMOTIONS ARE PLEASE SHARE??

ok anyway YES i agree with everything youre saying with rage and i really feel like it fits mac best!! which means now i gotta move on to ves and figure out her deal which has been a little bit harder :0 if you have any ideas i would love to hear them!

my goal is to eventually write a story about them! i'll be sure to make sure you are one of the first to get to read it, if i ever get around to actually doing it... hahahaha....

AND YEAH!!! actually i was talking to my non-homestuck bestie about classpect (and made her take the quiz -- shes a maid of light KJDFHGK) and she read some of the analysis for them and she was like "dude you're a breath player no question." and then i was fucking around and listening to music and i was like "jenna from waitress is a rogue of breath" and sent her the analysis for it and she was like "DUDE THIS IS YOU!" and you know what? shes right. thank you bri for having a phd in knowing me.

AND ACTUALLY ON THAT NOTE SHES AT MY HOUSE SO I HAVE TO GO NOW LOL but i'll finish replying asap!! at least when i get done i'll have. replied to everything all at once. so not too shabby yeah? i guess you dont need all this extra stuff but you're getting it anyway. aaand actually i'll go ahead and post this and then reblog it once i'm ready to continue.

ok talk to you later bye<3

[kaweeella]

Project Homeward Bound

I forgot to say this but some classpects might be different than what I had given them previously and if you saw Rin’s then you probably know why, so don’t be surprised if one’s different.

Chapter 2- The One Behind It Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall

~~~

Team B (because class 1b and Hitoshi and Mirio was too long and impractical) are on voice call, discussing what the plan is. They’re on a server specifically made for the game. It’s not entirely surprising. They need to be able to talk to each other.

Rain pitters against the window.

“Should we go by seat order?” Kinoko suggests.

“But Shinsou isn’t in our seating chart.” Jurota points out.

“It’s fine, I’ll go whenever.”

“How about you go first and I’ll be your server player.” Yosetsu suggests.

“If that’s fine with everyone else.”

“Hitoshi who’re you talking to?” Eri asks, standing in the door.

“I’m doing a…” He was going to say it’s an assignment but is it? It’s a game he’s playing with his kind of classmates. It wasn’t even given by a teacher. Oh well.

“Is that Eri?” Mirio asks. “Hi Eri!”

“Hi Mirio!”

The entire group gets side tracked talking to Eri. Hitoshi isn’t sure how they got to this. She just showed up one day and sometimes Aizawa brings her to school with him. He told him to be gentle with her. It’s not like he was planning on harming this child in any way but whatever.

“Eri, could you ask pops if we have any coffee for me?”

“Okay! Bye-bye!” Eri says to the class, who all tell her bye back, and leaves the room.

“So Shinso’s going first?” Pony asks the group.

“If that’s okay then sure.”

Hitoshi pulls out the disk labeled client and he puts it in, a weird loading screen popping up. A kaleidoscope-like shape that’s constantly changing. The background is light blue with clouds going by. Every second it’s loading he grows more anxious. What has he gotten himself into?

“Damn it…” Yosetsu mutters, the sound a little grainy.

“Awase, what’s the matter?” Hitoshi asks. God he just got viruses didn’t he.

“Nothing, the internets just fucking up.”

“Right.”

“Have they finished yet?” Tetsutetsu asks, sounding bored.

“I just said the internet is slow.”

“Mine’s almost done.”

When it’s done, Hitoshi hears something beside him. Looking over, he sees… a weird pop up? What? It looks like a selection menu and it says “Pick your fetch modus.”

“What the hell.” He mutters.

“What?”

“What is it?”

“I- uh- I’m not sure. Here let me try…” He takes his phone and takes a video as he walks around it and sends it in the chat. “Is it just me? Are you guys seeing this too?”

“What the hell is a fetch modus?” Togaru says.

He reaches out and touches one of the arrows and the card-thing between them moves, showing a new one.

“So what is it?” Setsuna asks.

“I don’t know.” Should he just pick at random? Is this an important decision? What is this thing and how’d it get here?

They can hear Mirio typing- his keyboard must be in pieces- before he says “I’m gonna go, be right back.” He then disconnects.

If someone looked at the call they would see that he, Nejire, and Tamaki were in The Big Three voice chat, one that only they can get into.

“Hitoshi!” Eri enters the room again, “We didn’t have any coffee so me and pops went and bought some. What’s that thing?”

“I’m not sure.”

“You’re supposed to pick one?”

“I guess.”

“Can I pick?”

“Yeah, go for it. I think it’s better that you pick anyway.” He lifts her to the select menu and she looks though them.

“What about this one?” Coloring book.

“Sure.” He selects it and then another thing pops up.

“Select your strife specibus”

“Jesus, more?” He mutters, setting down Eri. There is only one blank card this time. 

“Get it figured out yet?” Itsuka asks.

“Yeah but now there’s another thing: a strife specibus, whatever that is.”

“The coffee’s in the kitchen for when you want it.” Eri says before leaving.

Hitoshi guesses that he has to insert something into it or something, but what?

He thinks for a moment. Is there a wrong answer?

He digs through his closet. It has to be somewhere in here. He pulls out a decorative mace. Well it can’t really be decorative if it’s not used for decoration, in the closet it’s just a flimsy mace. He’s been meaning to put it up but he never got to it.

He shoves it into the card, which adds an image and some text. It says “mace-kind”. It disappears again and thankfully there isn’t another one.

“It’s done!” He yells to the rest of the group. “It’s finally done! Now what.”

“I think I have to link up to you.” Yosetsu says, his audio still messed up.

“Has your game downloaded yet?”

“Uhh… yeah.”

“Great.”

The two link up, though Hitoshi is a little disappointed, as the only things on his screen are weird shapes with numbers next to them. He’d say this is a scam if anyone actually paid for it.

“Shinso?” Yosetsu says.

“Is your end as disappointing?”

“Is the game bad?” Pony asks.

“Should’ve seen it coming.” Togaru says.

“No, it’s not that.” He stares at his screen, unsure of what to say. “I think… I think I can see in your house?”

The chat fills with an incomprehensible garble of “What?” “The hell?” “This is so weird.” and other confused noises.

“Wait wait wait wait wait,” Hitoshi says to quiet everyone down. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, I can see you at the computer, I think.” Yosetsu clicks on something in the room, lifting it up. “Look to your left for me.”

He does, seeing his alarm clock floating in the air.

“What the fuck.” He looks back at his computer. “Are you doing that?”

“Yeah.”

“What the fuck.”

Yosetsu notices he has things to place. “Incoming.”

Suddenly a weird machine with some spikes sticking down to where he guesses something is supposed to be put. There’s also a little card slot.

“What am I looking at.”

“A totem lathe”

“What does that mean.”

“I don’t know that’s just what it’s called.”

“Should we get Mirio back in here?” Neringeki asks.

“Yes.” The two at the same time.

They then proceed to spam Mirio to get him back in the call.

“I’m back, I’m back. What’s up?”

“I… Here, I’m gonna screen share.”

“Don’t show them my house.”

“Hey,” Mirio starts, “What?”

They stare at their screens seeing Hitoshi’s house. After showing them he wasn’t lying, Yosetsu turns it off, Hitoshi letting out tension.

The class talks, but Hitoshi takes off his headphones and heads to the kitchen. He can hear the rain on the window. It’s a little loud.

“Hitoshi! What’s going on?” Hizashi asks him.

“Nothing, nothing. I just want some coffee.”

Hizashi sees that Hitoshi doesn’t want to talk, so he leaves it at that. He starts working on dinner.

Hitoshi grabs a coffee, and then it disappears. He grabs a different one. Gone.

Great. Whatever.

He puts his hands in his pockets and feels something. Taking it out he sees a piece of paper with the outline of one of the coffees he grabbed. He quickly walks back to his room, incredibly frustrated.

He lets out a groan as he puts his headphones back on.

“Shinso, what’s wrong?” Itsuka asks.

“I think I know what a fetch modus is.” He slams the papers onto the desk.

“What is it?” Kinoko asks.

“Inventory.”

“What?” Manga asks this time.

“I let Eri pick and she picked coloring book and I went to grab a coffee and now they’re pieces of paper.” He digs in his pockets and finds a box of crayons. Throwing them onto the desk as well.

The group falls dead silent.

It stays that way until Nejire joins the group.

“Guys, guys! You guys need to get to the medium as soon as possible!”

“What’s the medium?”

“How do we do that?”

“Why?”

“I’ll walk you through it but you have to be fast. Who’s the server player?”

“I am.”

“Alright, put down all the devices you have.” She pauses for a second. “And put them in close together and easily accessible places.”

“Right.”

He does what she said and puts down all the machines, cluttering Hitoshi’s room in the process.

“What now?”

“Who’s the client?”

“Me.”

“Do you see a… a box with a cylinder and a dial?”

“Yeah.”

“There’s a lid on top of it, you need to apply pressure to get it off.”

Hitoshi pushes down on it, but it doesn’t budge.

Yosetsu looks around the house and finds something to drop on it.

“Watch out.” He drops a speaker on it, which breaks it and removes the lid.

“Dude. That’s going to be expensive to repl… what’s the timer?”

“It’s how long you have to get into the medium.”

“Hitoshi?” Hizashi calls from the kitchen. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you see the… orb?”

“Yeah.”

“You have to put something in it.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, just anything you have laying around, I guess.”

Hitoshi, with some struggle, goes back to the closet. There has to be something in there.

He hears something behind him and feels a pit forming in his stomach. Turning around he sees the orb now has a skull on it.

“Damn… I liked that shirt.”

“Did you do it?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you see the dial on the thing?”

“Do I turn it?”

“Yes.”

He does so and out pops a cylinder.

“Do you see the… the spikey one?”

“The totem lathe?”

“Is that what it’s called?”

“That’s what Awase said.”

“It’s what the game said.”

“Doesn’t matter. Put it on there.”

“Alright now what?”

“It should start cutting the cylinder.”

“It’s not.”

Yosetsu thinks for a moment. “Maybe you need this?” He drops a card with holes on it by him.

“What is it?”

“A card thing.”

Hitoshi puts it in the slot and the machine starts cutting.

“Now what?”

“Put it on the pedestal on the circle machine.”

He does, and suddenly, everything goes dark.

“Is this supposed to happen?”

“What?”

“I can’t see anything!”

“No…?”

Hitoshi can’t see, but if you are Yosetsu you’d see he has a blindfold. You would also see a puzzle in front of him.

“There’s something in front of you.” Yosetsu tells him.

Hitoshi feels around and finds it.

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Solve it, I guess.”

“What?”

“It’s a puzzle box.”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“I’ll help.”

Yosetsu walks him through the puzzle box as the timer ticks down, the rain hitting harder and harder against the window. The box clicks open, and the ground rumbles.

Hitoshi falls forward, hitting his head. He’s out cold. The blindfold and puzzle box disappears, as well.

“Shit.”

“What happened?”

“Did he make it in?”

“Shinso?”

Yosetsu can see his breathing. “He’s just unconscious.” And certainly concussed.

“Hitoshi?!” Shota calls from outside the door. He tries to open the door, but the cruxtruder- who is making these names?- is blocking the door.

Yosetsu tries to move Hitoshi so he can properly move the thing, but finds he can’t.

“Damn it.”

“Hitoshi!” He’s banging on the door.

Okay. He needs to be careful. He slowly moves the thing as far as he could without dropping it on him. It doesn’t make it far, but it’s enough for Shota to open it some. Not all the way, but what can you do.

“Hitoshi are you-” He sees the boy on the ground, and doesn’t even acknowledge the weird things in his rooms and makes his way over to him.

After checking for blood he then looks around. He hears the headphones and listens.

“Hello?”

“Mr. Aizawa!” Mirio says. “Welcome.”

“What happened?”

“He fell.” Yosetsu says.

He rubs the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t know what you want from me. That’s what happened. He fell over and hit his head.”

“Wait he did?!” Someone says, the rest of the class starts talking, concerned about his well being.

“Shoda, is he alright?” Hizashi tries to open the door, which goes how you would expect.

“He hit his head. Knocked out.”

“Mr. Aizawa?” Nejire speaks up.

“Hado?”

“We might have an issue.”

The phone rings, and Hizashi answers it.

“Takami’s on the phone. Says it’s important.”

“Nado would you mind if I step away for a minute?”

“No, go ahead.”

Shota steps out, pausing only for a moment to look at the machines.

“So now what?” Yosetsu asks, following the two with the lack of anything better to do.

“I’m not sure. Let me check back in with my class.” She says before leaving the call.

They wait, some idle chatting, when Yosetsu sees Shoda quickly looking out the window. He looks, too.

“Oh.” So is that what the medium is?

[the-hs-etaverse]

OKAY HEAR ME OUT

Meat!Calliope is writing the Candy narrative.

This got ridiculously protracted, so here's the tl;dr. Because of their classpect as Muse of Space, their connection to the Homestuck fandom and fan works in general, and the absolute ridiculosity of the Candy timeline, it’s evident that Meat!Calliope scribbling art on their walls in the Epilogues is them composing the Candy timeline itself. A more in-depth explanation is below the cut.

First of all, here’s the proof that Calliope at least seems to have awareness of Candy:

In essence, Meat!Calliope has been drawing a) Gamzee’s blood and various nudity, and b) cute ship fulfillment. Both of these are things that occur most notably in Candy. Now, this could imply two things: 1) Calliope somehow knows what’s going on in Candy and is transcribing it, or 2) Calliope is somehow authoring, through their drawings, the events of Candy. My money’s on the latter. Why? Because of how oddly-written (for lack of a better word) the Candy route is.

Like, I know Roxy is going through Gender Troubles when she says “lets get married!!!” to John but, like, who just SAYS that? Under what circumstances would somebody just say “Hey we’ve been dating for like two months and it’s a funeral right now but LET’S GET FRIGGIN’ MARRIED RIGHT NOW HOW ABOUT THAT”? I mean, it’s not an uncommon situation for people to get married ridiculously soon after meeting each other, and they’ve known each other for years, but still. It reeks of chitzy fanfiction tropes.

The entirety of Candy does, actually, aside from the Dirkapitation. There’s the picture-perfect Rosemary relationship, which is miraculously not thrown into turmoil by the revelation of the existence of Yiffy (which is in of itself an absolutely ludicrous development, especially how it’s been kept a secret). You’d think Kanaya would at the very least have been SOMEWHAT irate, if not about the “we-had-what-amounts-to-a-one-night-stand” part, then at least about the “I-hid-this-secret-from-you-for-FIFTEEN-YEARS-somehow” part, but no!

There’s the Johnroxy dynamic, which would have been just as picture-perfect as Rosemary except for John being the “only sane man” of sorts, the only one who seems to realise how fake his life is, and the one who undermines their relationship. And yet they’re STILL on good terms! And there’s a heartwarming reunion and everything! It’s like the narrative is actively working against John’s hope that SOMEthing, ANYthing about this place could be imperfect!

There’s the Jade and Jake part, which is an exercise in “we-shall-make-a-protagonist-into-a-villain-because-CONFLICT”. I understand why everybody’s upset about that. And because of the Rule of Cautious Editing Judgment, I will say no more on the subject. But then there’s Jake, who’s been henpecked to heck and back, but still has a heartwarming “I WANT TO BREAK FREEEEEE” bit, so things are looking up for him and his son. SOMEHOW.

And there’s a war, but nobody’s in any actual threat of harm from said war.

Oh, right, and Gamzee. He’s living his best life, too. Well, he was, but then he got beaten to deadness which now means everybody else is now living their best lives. So, yeah, the compromise occurred. And, of course, the author gets to milk some kink fuel (pun intended, regretfully so).

Also, Candy!Calliope just up and vanishes from the narrative after Alt!Calliope makes her grand entrance into Candy. Jury’s out on the significance of that.

And finally, there’s the Jade and Dave and Karkat thing. It kind of implies that the author didn’t know how to resolve the relationship conflict (without pulling an OT3) in such a way that everybody would be happy. So, boom, surprise Obama so that Dave can be happy, and surprise Meenah so that Karkat can be slightly less grumpy, and, uh, uh, hm.

Didn’t Alt!Calliope tell Jade that Space players need to make sacrifices in Chapter 6? So it makes sense that she’s now Forever Alone, I suppose, and it makes even MORE sense if Meat!Calliope is vaguely aware of this notion that their alternate self has.

All in all, the Candy timeline, according to a post I saw a little while ago, consists of the Homestucks reacting in-character to situations they ended up in while acting very out-of-character. Just like a poorly-contrived fanfiction. Just like something Callie would write.

Oh, right, and then there are the ghosts. Here’s the kicker: how did the ghosts (and Vriska, and Meenah) get to Candy!Earth in the first place? Through the black hole. That Alt!Calliope created. Heck, the entirety of Candy!Earth is in the black hole, that Alt!Calliope created! And when did Meat!Calliope start doing their eerily prophetic artwork? After they encountered Alt!Calliope.

Also? What’s Callie’s classpect? The Muse of Space. The Nine Muses, in Greek mythology, were the font of inspiration from which all stories sprung. Calliope, in particular, was the Muse of Epic Poetry. According to Hussie, Homestuck is “a s***post epic” (re: the video I reblogged a few days ago). Callie is rewriting reality and is the inspiration of the Candy space.

And Calliope is a representation of the fandom. What’s Homestuck^2? A fan-centred continuation. It’s literally called a fanwork in the FAQ.

All I’m saying is, the evidence seems to point towards Meat!Calliope, whether knowingly or not, having authorship over the Candy timeline. Dirk and Alt!Calliope are the narrators of Meat, but, as people have asked, who’s the narrator of Candy? It’s Meat!Calliope. It’s their black hole. It’s their domain. It’s their story.

[homespork-review]

Homespork Act 3: Insane Mindscrew Haymakers (Part 1)

BRIGHT: Before Act 3 proper starts, we see a message from Nanna to John, written in the front of the Sassacre’s joke book from Dad’s safe. The message is somewhat bizarre. For one thing, according to Nanna, the book it’s written in will end its journey on the day she dies...and still carry on for a while. For another, it talks about game elements we’ve encountered already, and hints at more to come. Overall it’s a nice bit of detail, enough to whet the reader’s interest.

You are no doubt reading this as a handsome and strapping young man! Why, the mangrit needed to lift the book is itself a sign of your maturity, not even to speak of the wisdom needed to grasp the nuance of Sassacre's time-tested mischief. I am so proud of you, grandson! How I wish I could have delivered this heirloom to you in the flesh. But I am afraid it wasn't in the cards! For you see, John, like you, this book must yet take a journey! Its journey will end on the Final Day of my life, and even then will continue some. Though I suppose that will be up to your Father. Perhaps he will discuss it with you one day, when he and you are ready. But it is your journey I am writing about to wish you luck! There will come a day when you will be thrust into another world. And once you arrive, that is only the beginning! You will soon delve even deeper into a realm of Warring Royalty in a Timeless Expanse. A realm of Agents and Exiles and Consorts and Kernelsprites. Of toiling Underlings and slumbering Denizens. A realm where four will gather, the Heir of Breath and Seer of Light, the Knight of Time and Witch of Space, and together they will Ascend. John, if only you knew how important you were! I regret my passing came so early in your life. And yet I feel in my heart we have already met. But what I know for sure is that we will meet again! Until then, John, I do hope your Father keeps you well fed!

FAILURE ARTIST: As I said earlier, Hussie has artfully defaced books, including one antique one about an expedition around the world. Defaced books show up again in this comic.

CHEL: Particularly, it implies that Nanna also had knowledge of the game during her lifetime, somehow, and refers to the gathering of four heroes. This is our first introduction to the classpect system, which now rivals Hogwarts houses as a method of personality description in fandom at large. I think at the time I didn’t realise who it was referring to… Anyway.

Next, we officially meet GG, the fourth and final member of our gang, a “silly girl” with a cheery grin, sleeping in a greenhouse full of vegetables and spirograph-shaped flowers. Since she’s sleeping and can’t object, she’s referred to for a while as FARMSTINK BUTTLASS, but she’s way ahead of us; under her hand is a note admonishing the reader and declaring her actual name to be Jade Harley. I think she’s the cutest of the kids, myself - just seeing her first appearance makes me happy! All its weaknesses aside, Homestuck’s pretty great at creating painfully cute character designs and attaching a good range of personalities to them.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade Harley was considered a “Mary Sue” when she was first introduced. I don’t know why. Yeah, she has a lot of eccentricities and unusual possessions but so do the other characters.

Farmstink is a reference to an old comic Hussie did about this dude obsessed with the stink of farms. Hussie’s early work is really weird.

CHEL: The reader attempts to wake Jade by dropping a pumpkin carved with an animal’s face on her head, but the pumpkin disappears; as we know, WV now has it. Fortunately for the pacing, Jade wakes up on her own. Look closely, and you’ll notice the symbol on her shirt changes each page; that turns out a bit later to be due to her hi-tech WARDROBIFIER. If I recall correctly, Hussie intended to settle on one chosen by reader vote, but ended up on a cycle of three different ones.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade settles on three icons to appear on her shirt. However, eventually just one icon stays on her shirt. The WARDROBIFIER doesn’t get much use with her, though a later character has the same thing.

CHEL: Jade is also wearing COLORFUL REMINDERS on her fingers, and when the view pans out it’s revealed by the view from the window that her GARDEN ATRIUM is on a high floor. She plays the flute badly for a while in a Flash game; apparently it’s not her preferred instrument. Also fortunately for the pacing, we think, she knows how to use her sylladex, and prefers to set its retrieval function in the form of a memory game because you seem to have a knack for always guessing right on the first try! On checking her reminders, she remembers to wish John happy birthday, gathers some fruit, and heads upstairs by means of a teleporter.

Jade’s bedroom proves to be full of various disturbing-looking plushies, albeit not nearly as disturbing as the Smuppets, hanging baskets and potted plants, a bass guitar, and G-rated furry artwork, including a piece obviously drawn by Dave. Franchises depicted in her toy and poster collections include GREEN SLIME GHOST (the apparent copyright-friendly source of John’s T-shirt and pogo ride), MANTHRO CHAPS (mustachioed human faces on plush animal bodies), and SQUIDDLES (adorable octopi with magnets in their bellies which stick together as Tangle Buddies!). Her favoured weapons are rifles, though she would never shoot an animal, and she has various gadgets on a worktable, including a thing that looks like a disconnected window not unlike those shown in Rose’s book, which she apparently hasn’t been able to get to work.

FAILURE ARTIST: Manthro Chaps is a reference to Hussie’s particularly disturbing set of comics where he plays around with anthropomorphization. Like having an anthro chicken man lay anthro eggs.

CHEL: The comic in question, Humanimals, can be found here; warnings for extreme body horror and general grossness.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade is told by a forum prompter to Lose interest in fauna and never speak of it again. Jade refuses to in a beautiful little speech but she denies she’s a furry. Oh, if she only knew what was coming for her.

Jade looks out the window and we find out she lives somewhere next to a volcano.

CHEL: The very same one which appeared in the animation at the end of the last act, in fact.

Your grandfather is a WORLD RENOWNED EXPLORER-NATURALIST-TREASURE HUNTER-ARCHEOLOGIST-SCIENTIST-ADVENTURER-BIG GAME HUNTER-BILLIONAIRE EXTRAORDINAIRE. He has taught you everything you know.

Grandpa is heavily coded here and in his appearance a bit later as a Great White Hunter, an upper-class European guy who goes to faraway countries in order to shoot the animals there. Of course, non-white people can certainly do that, but white is what people will immediately picture upon seeing the trope. Also note we have another ridiculously wealthy family here. Since all four of the kids have now been introduced and we’ve had a lot of WSP points from their races and financial statuses already, here we get another HOW NOT TO point as well.

The Country Club Here every single character is white and middle-to-upper class. Unless your novel is taking place in rural Sweden, this will eventually give the reader the eerie feeling that some form of ethnic cleansing has taken place. HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 14 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 7

One could argue that some form of ethnic cleansing is taking place, since these are the kids who are surviving the apocalypse, though that’s not actually fair because there are plenty of other SBurb sessions all across the world which might also succeed.

Jade opens her GADGET CHEST and produces several more items pertaining to her interests, including her computer, which she keeps in a Squiddles lunchbox. Several fortune-telling items are included among them, but according to Jade they are not the source of her abilities. The Magic 8-Ball is apparently usually wrong, responding to being asked whether it’s John’s birthday today with NOT EXACTLY, and the Magic Cue Ball is supposedly always right but is impossible to read, making it completely useless.

FAILURE ARTIST: There’s another Problem Sleuth reference (or rather Problem Sooth) but what’s important is the Magic Cue Ball. Unlike her Magic 8-Ball, it has no window where one can read the prediction. If only Jade had a special vision. Perhaps an eightfold vision.

Jade goes to feed BEC. She has some sylladex trouble until she finally just takes a steak out of her fridge.

CHEL: Once again, the sylladex shenanigans waste several pages.

GET ON WITH IT!: 9

Bec’s identity is as yet unknown, but recall that Dave called him a “devilbeast” in an earlier conversation, and when he suggested shooting Bec Jade said she didn’t think she could if she tried. He also apparently eats nothing but steaks (lucky Grandpa’s a billionaire), so Jade is living on an island with apparently minimal supervision from her guardian and an allegedly dangerous carnivore running wild outside. Like Dave, at this point it seems to be very lucky she’s a cartoon character.

FAILURE ARTIST: Using a special oven she irradiates the steak. Umm, I think Bec can take that but I worry about Jade.

Jade finds and plays her elaborate bass and she’s much better at it than with the flute. During the flash, the camera pulls out and we find out where she lives: in a tower on a small volcanic island with a frog temple in the lagoon. An airplane goes by and drops a package.

Jade uses her super high-tech “lunchtop” to have a conversation with John. Nothing special about that but we see on her chumroll a bunch of unfamiliar handles. Hmm.

CHEL: The unfamiliar handles are listed in the “Trollslum”, which one presumes is a blocklist. I think you have to see just how hi-tech the lunchtop is:

"Jade: Get down to business." (Watch on YouTube)

Hussie’s really coming into his own with the animations by now.

FAILURE ARTIST: Dave has sent her some messages begging her to wake up and unfortunately one line has the f-slur in it.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 7

In the end, he decides she’ll probably forget what he says.

CHEL: Begging her to wake up” doesn’t exactly cover it.

TG: youre asleep again arent you TG: or do you even know if you are TG: i still dont know how that works TG: its like nothing means anything

Apparently Jade sometimes talks to him while she’s sleeping.

FAILURE ARTIST: There’s a little flash where you can listen to some of Dave’s tunes. When you’re done with that, you can join her in looking at mspadventures.com. A crude John wearing a wizard hat is sitting on his lawn with the caption

It begins to dawn on you that everything you just did may have been a colossal waste of time.

What the hell is going on here? Is Jade reading what John is doing right now?

CHEL: I think it’s just a fourth wall joke, but it’s certainly accurate, considering our GET ON WITH IT count.

FAILURE ARTIST: Next, we get this flash called Midnight Crew: Act 1031. If you are watching it in 2019, the song playing is Dead Shuffle by Mark Hadley. However, the song was originally Nightlife by Bill Bolin. Unfortunately, Bolin had a dispute with Hussie over Hussie using music that Bolin considered WIP. Bolin blew up and called Hussie “unprofessional” and in a very professional move posted a photo of himself giving the double deuce. It’s a shame this happened since Nightlife is a jauntier and more appropriate tune.

CHEL: The Midnight Crew, to be specific, are gangsters with card-themed names who bear a striking resemblance to WV, living in a mysterious purple city full of towers, pitted against the Felt, another gang of odd-looking green fellows who wear bowler hats with numbers on them, in the colour schemes of a set of pool balls.

Hussie did make reference in the previous page to a “weird tangential intermission [which] clearly advanced the plot in no way whatsoever”, implying that it actually is relevant, and the purple city and its shiny black beady-eyed inhabitants look very familiar, but since as far as we know at this point the Midnight Crew is just a comic-within-a-comic, you know which counts get added to.

GET ON WITH IT!: 10 WHAT IS HAPPENING??: 2

Just for the record, the leader of the gang is named Spades Slick, and yes, we’re aware that “spade” is a slur against black people, which makes it slightly unfortunate to be applied as a name to a black-shelled alien creature. However, we’re not counting that as PROBLEMATYKKS because Hussie and the Crew’s original writer certainly did not intend that. It’s not that commonly used a term from what I’ve seen, the playing cards would be the more likely immediate association, and with the other characters being Clubs Deuce, Hearts Boxcars, and Diamonds Droog, it’s just an unfortunate coincidence. If he was a black human, then I’d object more strenuously.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade talks with Dave (I think the conversation is a repeat?)

CHEL: Yep.

GET ON WITH IT!: 11

FAILURE ARTIST: Finally, we get the flash we’ve been waiting for: Dave strifes with his mysterious guardian. Or rather, he strifes with Lil Cal while Bro is a speed blur.

BRIGHT: Unlike the other strifes up to this point, the reader can’t do anything other than watch, because Bro slices the command box in half right at the start.

TIER: In the world of Homestuck, the parental units are overall just really weird! Like dad Egbert severe overabundance of cakes and mom Lalonde's drunken dysfunction. It's overall all hilarious, fitting with the tone and humor of the story well!

But then we have our lovely outlier. The one, the hated, The. Bro “a huge bastard honestly” Strider! A.K.A basically the one guardian whose questionable parenting gets the Real Consequences treatment later on in this tale. Peculiar that.

CHEL: Now, under most circumstances, an adult man beating the hell out of a barely-teenage kid, on the precarious rooftop of a high-rise building no less, would be horrifying. However, Bro chooses to hit Dave with his puppet, which… is frankly hard to take seriously. Obviously it would still hurt if a real person did that, but it looks so stupid that the immediate assumption is that it’s a joke.

BRIGHT: Particularly when earlier strife moves like Rose’s ‘Empty Suicide Threat’ were intended to be humorous. This is about on the same level as that, in terms of severity!

TIER: Being smacked around by the flopping noodle limbs of a freaky puppet is honestly hard to take seriously. Hell, this entire sequence is chock full of outlandish “Rule of Cool” bullshit and I am Peeved that I was apparently supposed to look at this sequence of ridiculous events and go “OBVIOUSLY THIS IS FUCKED UP AND ABUSIVE”.

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 7

CHEL: I could kinda see that with hindsight from the rest of the comic, but definitely not “OBVIOUSLY THIS IS A LOT MORE FUCKED UP AND ABUSIVE THAN THE OTHER AWFUL FAMILY CIRCUMSTANCES”, which is what was apparently intended. And we also get another HOW NOT TO point, which we’ll give now even though the official “reveal” comes much later.

A Novel Called It - wherein an abusive parent exists Bad parents are everywhere in unpublished fiction. Whole cities of abusive fathers and sneering mothers live in the pages of books that can’t be sold. While occasionally, and notably in the horror genre, this sort of material can be made good (Carrie, V. C. Andrews), most cruel parents in fiction are just as much fun as they are in real life. HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 14

That damn puppet gets creepier every time, admittedly, more so now that Bro is moving so fast that the thing appears to be dancing on Dave’s head under its own power. Dave’s expressions look more annoyed than afraid or hurt, however, in my opinion.

FAILURE ARTIST: Anyway, we go back to Jade. Rose is pestering her.

TT: I require a font of frighteningly accurate yet infuriatingly nonspecific information. TT: Do you know where I can find a wellspring of this sort?

Very business-like, isn’t it? Rose and Jade’s relationship is a big missed opportunity in this comic. They’re more like friends-of-friends than friends.

CHEL: I don’t know, that sounds to me like how Rose talks to the boys too; facetiously formal. Still, they don’t converse nearly as much as the boys do with each other or them. Male writers in particular tend to do this, and it’s not entirely their faults. People are socialised to think women talk a lot more than they do, so he probably didn’t notice.

TIER: A real shame honestly, we were fucking robbed of some peak interactions between a sunshine flower child and a “dark and brooding” baby goth. Fucking. Robbed.

FAILURE ARTIST: We find out that Jade was the one who had the idea of playing Sburb. She had told Rose that the game would answer some of Rose’s unnamed questions. Rose wants more information on this Big Day. Jade says the game will not be what Rose thinks it is and will answer questions Rose hasn’t thought of yet. On that mysterious note, Jade says goodbye.

CHEL: We check in briefly with Rose in the present, confirming that she’s found the secret passage and is escaping the fire, bringing the corpse of her cat along with her, then to John, who is doing much worse. The ogres (the giant tusked imps) have cornered him, and while he flails frantically about with his Pogo Hammer it doesn’t do much good. They beat the snot out of him with the old Sassacre book and the tire swing, then send him flying into the abyss; fortunately, Nannasprite is able to catch him on his bed and provide healing, allowing him to flail uselessly at the ogres again and get beaten up again, ad infinitum.

Back in the desert, a giant worm-like creature emerges from PM’s bunker and chows down on the cart full of mailboxes. PM is displeased, and puts a hand on the hilt of an ornate black sword.

Cut back to the FAQ, which John has found time to edit with information about the punch card system. He doesn’t know if anyone is left alive to play the game, but Rose asked him to add to it, so he will. He’s figured out with his 133t h4x0r 5k1llz that the captcha code on the back of the cards is converted into a binary-based pattern on the cards, 0 being blank and 1 being a punched hole. Overlapping the cards functions like a bitwise AND operation, causing both to be enacted. The 48-hole card system allows for 300 trillion combinations, but John lampshades the fact that this couldn’t possibly cover every conceivable captchable item, and that various combinations of overlapping cards would just produce the same combination. This is just adding to my conviction that the system ought to be reworked; the totems alone would probably allow for a much wider range, if one gets down to the atomic level of their shape. Then again, those would be a lot harder to merge… Still, I’m sure there’s some way to work it.

BRIGHT: This section was kind of surprising to me because up to this point we haven’t had much if any description of John being into coding, so the section came out of left field somewhat. Not bad, necessarily, just jarring.

CHEL: Actually, he did mention in his intro that he likes to program, albeit not very well, he had some coding books on his shelves, and the icons on his computer are named in a way which implies they’re some of his attempts at coding. However, this interest never really comes up again later that I remember.

Meanwhile, the secret passage Rose followed led to her mother’s laboratory, which bears the logo “SN” with a stylised atom and a spirograph pattern in the loops of the S. It seems Mom Lalonde knows more than she’s letting on about the game. Inside the laboratory is an enormous HUBGRID of devices into which the laptop can be plugged.

FAILURE ARTIST: Rose uses that ol’ r-slur when she says she won’t go on the pad so that’s another point.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 8

CHEL: Jade uses the TRANSPORTALIZER to travel most of the way down to the ground floor, but not all the way down because the one on that floor is blocked. As she walks down the last couple of flights of stairs, we see Grandpa’s own collections of stuff; taxidermised animal heads, suits of armour, mummified corpses (made by pasting in photographs to the cartoon background, it’s creepy as hell), and his BLUE BEAUTIES, or the DAUGHTERS OF ECLECTICA; sun-bleached portrait photographs of beautiful women. On the final floor, we are confronted with the thing blocking the final portal; a gigantic preserved monster with a white head and green serpentine body. It took me till just now to figure it out but I think the white part is supposed to be a human torso on the snake tail; at first it just looked like a snake wearing a stocking mask. That’s what happens when the humans don’t have arms.

Jade thought she had logged off from Pesterchum, but suddenly it pings again, and here we are introduced to an entirely new section of the cast. We’re probably not spoiling anything by not being mysterious about them at this point in the fandom’s history, but just in case, we’ll stick to doing the reveals when the comic does. The person talking to Jade is one of the names from her TROLLSLUM, under the handle carcinoGeneticist; they gloat about being “BETTER AND SMARTER THAN YOU, FOREVER” when asked how they’re still contacting Jade after being blocked, and mock her about today being “FINALLY THE DAY YOU FUCK EVERYTHING UP”. Angry, Jade blocks them again.

FAILURE ARTIST: I had forgotten that “they” appeared so early.

CHEL: Well, “appear” is stretching it; the TROLLSLUM only make contact through Pesterchum for a while yet. And when they show up, we’ll have both plenty of skilfully-written points to pick out and plenty of counts to apply.

[rogue-of-light]

Could I get a quadrant analysis between a mage of void and a knight of heart please? Love your blog by the way!

^OwO^ oh absolutely you can get one anon!!! a Mage of Void and a Knight of Heart quadrant analysis coming right up! ^-w-^ (( bleh! i wish the gif looked prettier on mobile but eh. )) ^-w-^ (( i also should post my quadrants analysis soon, i’ll do that later... )) ^>////<^ (( also thank you for your kind words, im glad you like my blog!! ))

^ ♥️ w ♥️ ^ first up is Matespritship! a matespritship between trolls- as humans would just be boyfriend/girlfriend-  (( though both are two separate, yet parallel, things )) focuses on creating/invoking positive emotions- also known as ‘pity’. a matespritship between a Mage of Void and Knight of Heart is possible! i think this relationship has a strong chance to be a soft one, sort of like the ‘two broken souls find one another and learn to love again’ types of stories. i dont have a lot to say about this simply because a lot of matespritship boils down to the trolls personalities. the Mage of Void will most likely be more pessimistic while the Knight of Heart may be more emotionless or try and look cool. this combination most likely wouldnt work well because of the clash, however that isnt to say it 100% wouldnt. trolls and people have complex personalities, opposites attract and the impossible is possible! 

^ ♦️ w ♦️ ^  next is Moirallegiance. a moirallegiance is focused on the balance, both mental balance and emotional balance, between both trolls. no one troll should dominate the moirallegiance. in my opinion, the Mage of Void should 100% have a moirail! as for a Mage of Void and a Knight of Heart moirallegiance... i think that it’ll either be super good or super bad!! both parties have deep insecurities- Mage of Void dealing with strong feelings of worthlessness and being ignored while of Knight of Heart is dealing with the fear of being seen for who they genuinely are, plus the self esteem issues both parties have to deal with? this will either be good for both or horrible.  ^-w-^ if it does go wrong, it could be because the Mage of Void was unwilling to genuinely tell the Knight how they feel. Being a Mage of Void means they are very good at keeping secrets, so the Knight has no way of knowing without breaching trust. ^-w-^ the Knight of Heart can also turn this relationship sour by keeping their persona up, refusing to allow the Mage into their ‘heart’ so to speak, and seeing their genuine self. They can also toy with peoples emotions seeing as their classpect exploits the heart. ^-w-^ all in all? this moirallegiance strongly depends on if the Mage and Knight honestly trust one another enough to drop their masks to allow growth. 

^ ♠️ w ♠️ ^ the final one we will discuss is my favorite, Kismeissitude! Kismeissitude is focused on the mutual respect and frustration, a true rival! it is very important to remember that Kismeissitude isnt built on hatred, rather it is built on knowing your kismeis could be better but for whatever reason they arent. personally, i think the Mage of Void and Knight of Heart could have a strong kismeissitude! admittedly, this is more of a gut feeling then anything analytical, i will still do my best to defend it! for example, the Mage could get frustrated at the Knight for their impulsiveness and their ‘my friends feelings matter very much so shut the fuck up before i throw hands with you regardless of the consequences’ attitude while the Knight could get frustrated at how passive and how they try- and are very successful- in hiding how they feel! both could also get frustrated at the hypocrisy of the other, both of them hiding their ‘true selves/feelings’ so to speak. 

^-w-^ this was a long one and my achy wrist proves it, but i hope you like this anon! honestly, the quadrants are one of my favorite things to discuss! i didnt include the ashen quadrant because, well... i dont see the kismeissitude getting to that point. rather, at worse the two would just break up- at least from my point of view.  ^-w-^ however you know best anon!! dont take my word as law, rather take it as my thoughts- which it is!  ^=w=^ it is currently 1:09am so if there are any spelling errors or errors in my quirk i am sorry. 

[fantroll-purgatory]

World: Good Ole Alternia! Name: Nadira Pikoys (The Nihilist) - Nadira is taken from Nadir, meaning the lowest point or ‘rock’ bottom while Pikoys is the old english word for Pickaxe. Her first name is tied to how she’s at the very bottom of the hemospectrum with a working class job. Age: Not set - somewhere in the 6-7 sweeps ballpark though.

Theme/Story: Her main themes are Misfortune and Mining. Her hive is part of an apartment complex dug into a hill which is also where she mines out more apartments and precious minerals (which she sometimes keeps to herself, though this is kept hidden). She’s never gone outside of it and while there are plenty of other unfortunate trolls here she’s undoubtedly the one that got the short end of the stick. She’s struck with awful luck, if something can go wrong it will go wrong, but somehow she never seems to die - either due to some sick, twisted luck or her rustblood resilience. (I’m going to start here with my notes- Nadira has more meat to her than most trolls who are based around a gimmick, but it’s still holding her back- you’ve written a character who has issues due to circumstances, and she would likely become a very different person removed from them.) Goals: I am pretty satisfied with her design, though I do feel some stuff can be improved in general and would like a second opinion on her overall! (Me and CD had a long discussion about Nadira the other night, so I’m gonna translate what we were talking about into a review!) Strife Specibus: pickaxekind - Might as well fight with what you’re forced to do for your life, right. Fetch Modus: Boulder Modus. Items are covered in a rock (toughness depending on importance and/or size of item) which need to be physically mined to be retrieved.  Blood Color: Rust Symbol and Meaning: Her EZ symbol would be Arittarius (Void/Derse, The Astronaut), but I’m using a custom symbol which is a pickaxe with an = symbol on the handle, fit for the EZ Rust symbols while not making it too simplistic. Handle: tormentedPariah [TP] - constantly suffering and an outcast - An unfortunate individual who is different from others, which is how she feels.

You’re hit on something very interesting to me here. Pariah implies someone outcast and denied by others, and if you’re saying that’s how she views herself- you don’t just have a nihilist character, you have a character with feelings of persecution. Being Pariah’d is something other people do to you. So if that’s how she feels, what does she think she’s been pariah’d for? Does she have bitterness about this outside of just the vague floaty nihilism? 

Quirk: Uses –) as Prefix, putting her pickaxe at the forefront of her sentences. Puts : before her c’s so that they’re all sad :c and Uses … as Suffix to show how her sentences always feel unfinished.

Quirk Example: TP: –) :could you tone it down a not:ch…

Special Abilities: Psionics (mild strength, can bend earth if she’s particularly upset), Blindsight (able to see and navigate without sight, tying to her Void aspect) Lusus/Guardian: A pupp-sized mopdog which has its eyes covered and looks depressing just like Nadira. Acts as the canary in the mine for her. Interests: Geology, Nihilism, and later on in SGRUB develops a taste for self-expression through Fashion. (This is pretty bare bones, and highlights the fact that you’re over committing to gimmick. This fashion interest, though, has some possibilities… Because on Alternia being into fashion is seen as frivolous and abnormal (see Kanaya), and that being a growth moment for her… needs more foundation and scaffolding, though.)

Appearance: 

(No comments here besides that I love this design.)

Personality:

 Surrounded by misfortune and hatched in a mundane role, she’s had a pessimistic view on life since the start which isn’t leaving her anytime soon. She keeps her distance and tends to be isolated due to her lack of hobbies or things to make small talk out of. When she speaks it tends to be vague and of few words, she can’t hold conversations but she’s at peace with that just like how she is used to everything going wrong every time. An observer and despite her timidness, she is assured in her own knowledge.

(You’ve written her to fit the Classpect you’ve given her as opposed to the other way around, and it shows through here. My comment about circumstantial depression comes back here- this kind of… negative nihilism would melt away after getting into Sgrub. Because in Game, she’d be completely removed from the Alternian Caste system, which would solve, like 90% of her issues.)

Lunar Sway:

 Derse cause that’s where the pessimistic and introverted peeps tend to be and she fits that bill to the T.

(She is these things, but I would argue that she may be a Prospit character! She doesn’t seem to have the Dersite core of rebellion and restlessness. She seems to just conform to what comes her way, in fact! Remember that Karkat is also a Prospit Dreamer, and he’s a big ol’ misanthrope.)

(Negative Nihilism, like what Nadira is entirely themed around, is also considerably more Prospit in nature: The feeling that everything is hopeless because nothing has meaning is not traditionally something a constantly scheming Dersite would even care about. Dersites are gonna keep going regardless if it’s right, sensible, or meaningful. They can’t not.)

Title:

 Seer of Void, having lived a life full of hands-on work on Alternia she learns to lean back into her more passive role as a strategist and opens up more as a result when she plays SGRUB - becoming more talkative with her fellow team though she’s still vague as ever since that’s how dang void players are.

(Now here’s where a majority of what CD and I discussed. Is this character a Void player? Possibly. We’ll get to this in a bit.) (This is not a Seer. A Passive class reinforces her negative traits (isolation and not doing a ton with her life) while not teaching her anything of note, ESPECIALLY with Void as an Aspect. If you’re dead set on passive, the only one I can see working for a character like this would be Rogue- as the passive reorganization of Potential, stealing away the nothing of things, would help her use that rustblood moxie of hers for good.) (Aspectwise, she could be a Doom player because you’ve written her entirely around “universal suffering”, but frankly, that’s a boring take.) (You could continue with Void, because she has some interesting symbology around it- but she doesn’t have ANY of Void’s curiosity, any of Void’s doubt, any of void’s well of endless potential. She doesn’t create the earth- she destroys it and mines it out.) (Which leads me to an odd possibility: Time. Nadira has the potential to be a solid player Chosen By Time. If you played up her grim determination to survive regardless of what life throws at her, put some meat into her personality, and emphasized that Destruction angle, she’d have what she needs to handle the pressures of the aspect. Time is also the traditional wheelhouse of the Red (see Dave, the Megidos, and Caliborn).)

(The later Fashion interest is fun because that turns the arrow towards Void’s sister, Space. Her Land would change, of course, but the imagery of bringing in from the center, changing the meaning of where things are, and creating new life all jive well with her character. Space characters tend to have an interest and draw to Art, and her moving into becoming a fashionista and shedding her facade of grim disinterest would be very interesting. Space characters as well have a well-established motif of being isolated: Jade on an island in the middle of the sea, Kanaya in the sun in the desert, and Calliope in the darkness of nothing.)

I do want to throw my hat into the ring to agree with the Time/Space option in particular. Something space players also experience is Stagnation, either physically or more metaphorically in their social life, until they finally break out and go ham. That’s something I talked to SA about last night. A Space Player who hasn’t awakened yet usually experiences a lack of Lateral Movement that comes with that feeling of isolation. You say Nadira has never left her hivestem and that reads very “space player who doesn’t know they’re a space player yet.” Once she’s free of circumstance, she can explore herself and her environment more, adventure in ways she was never allowed to. I think it’d be good for her.

Land: 

LOGAE (

lol gay

) - Land of Geodes and Enigma. The land is filled with rare minerals to the point where there is no soil to grow anything on, leaving the poor black cat consorts with nothing to grow their crops or get safe water from. The quest is to unleash the steamy water from the core and breathe new life into the land. This is a subversion of the common becoming rare and vice-versa, coming to accept the more dull things in life because they are special in their own way.

[ardenttheories]

Here's your excuse to go on a big rant about ectobiology, I love reading your stuff it's so highly thought out and detailed even your classpect responses I prefer to anyone elses. So just thank you for taking your time to maintain this blog despite your most likely very busy life.

So I am going to physically cry because this is the THIRD time I’ve had to rewrite this because Tumblr is actually incapable of keeping any significant amount of text on a post while you quickly navigate to another tab for research purposes.

Anyway, first of all: I’m glad you love reading my stuff!! It’s really cool to see how much people like my ramblings, even if I’m not the best at punctual replies (there are, for instance, a lot of asks I have to get to, but that I’m putting off because they require me to watch things I haven’t gotten into yet), and honestly I’m glad you like the classpecting responses! It’s a lot of fun, if fairly hard, to figure out all those little details, and I’m quite proud of what I come up with in the end. 

And yeah, life gets busy, but this blog is pretty much my brain baby. I adore it, and I adore every follower I have and any interest people show in what I’ve posted here! It’s, honestly the most wonderful thing to see tags or get asks like these, so thank you so much!

And also, thank you so much for enabling me in this way, I hope you’re ready!

Ectobiology interests me because of how complex and yet understandable it is. 

Grandpa, Nanna, Bro and Mom are created when John attempts to appearify them prior to their finding of the beta kids. If we focus specifically on Grandpa, as an example; John attempts to appearify Grandpa before he finds Jade or dies at the hands of Tavros. This creates a paradox because Grandpa is still required to exist within that timeframe for the timeline to make sense, and as a result, he paradoxifies Grandpa instead, creating paradox slime. This slime is sucked into a machine, and consequently spits out a perfect clone of Grandpa. 

This happens for all of the Guardians. As a result of this, the Guardians are related to no other humans in existence, not even to each other - except for two exceptions each. Their respective beta kids.

When the machine has sucked up all four adults’ paradox slime, and all four Guardian babies are present, it then turns the four containers of slime into two batches; mixing the Grandpa and Nanna slime together, and the Mom and Bro slime together. From the Grandpa/Nanna slime, we get John and Jade; from the Mom/Bro slime, we get Rose and Dave. 

So now we have eight babies; four Guardians, and four kids. What happens next? 

Well, naturally, they need to go back to become themselves in the first place.

John presses a button, and the babies are transported onto meteors. The Reckoning then begins - and yes, it is absolutely crucial to complete any and all Ectobiological functions prior to the Reckoning, otherwise you have completely fucked up your session - and the meteors are flung towards Skaia. They never meet Skaia’s surface, however; instead, they are sent through Skaia’s defence portals, and are sent back through space and time to became the beta Guardians and kids.

Now, here comes the very interesting deviance, and one which, admittedly, doesn’t make much sense: the comparison between Karkat and John creating their session’s adults and kids. 

Karkat creates the Ancestors and beta trolls the exact same way John does; he paradoxifies the Ancestors, their paradox slime is spat out to create perfect clones of themselves unrelated to each other, and then one of two things occurrs: either - in pairings we never find out - their slime is mixed into six batches, with two trolls coming out from each batch, or - as is typical in Alternian genetics - all of the Ancestorial slime is mixed into one big batch, with all twelve beta trolls being created from it. 

 Why, then, is this so odd?

Quite simply, it’s because when John makes the beta Guardians and kids, he’s also making the alpha Guardians and kids. 

Remember that I said the babies are put onto meteors and go through Skaia’s portals? I left out the fact that as soon as each meteor goes through a portal, a timeline split occurs; in one instance, the babies go back to Earth Beta to become the beta kids and Guardians, and in another instance, the babies instead go forward to Earth Alpha to become the alpha kids and Guardians.

This means two things:

1) Since Dirk, Roxy, Jane and Jake are just alternate forms of the same babies that make Bro, Mom, Nanna and Grandpa, they are completely unrelated to each other.

2) Due to this, and the fact that as a result the alpha Guardians are just alternate forms of the same babies created from the paradox slime combinations of the beta Guardians, Alpha Mom and Alpha Bro are Dirk and Roxy’s biological kids, and Poppop and Grandma are Jake and Jane’s biological kids. It also means Alpha Mom and Alpha Bro are siblings, and the same is true for Poppop and Grandma. 

So, why is this odd in relation to the beta trolls?

In John’s case, he is the beta session creating both the beta session’s players and the backup alpha session’s players.

In Karkat’s case, he is the alpha session. 

The beta trolls exist within a post-Scratch timeline. If John creates the alpha kids and Guardians in the beta timeline, then someone in the alpha trolls’ session should have done the exact same thing, and Karkat’s role would be completely redundant. 

I think the easiest way to explain it would be that Hussie just hadn’t thought that far ahead when he was writing Act 5. It would make the most sense for him to simply show the exact same things happening in the two sessions that he had running at the time, since they are the basic requirements of all SBURB sessions, and then forget that later when he decided to have the beta trolls’ session be the post-Scratch one. 

If we went for an in-universe explanation, it really just doesn’t make sense. If the pre-Scratch session is meant to create the post-Scratch’s players - like a sort of save data in the case one is required - then why this never happened for the alpha trolls is a bit odd. I would assume this is part of their ultimate failure in running a successful session, but even that seems a bit of a flimsy answer; after all, they’d still need to have created themselves and their Ancestors paradoxically to even exist. 

It’s honestly why I prefer to focus on the kids’ session as the biggest example for most happenings within a SBURB session, especially when in relation to Ectobiology.

So, here’s a more simplistic version of all of that:

- Attempt to appearify guardians, but fail- Summon paradox slime instead- Paradox slime of guardians spits out baby versions of guardians, which are perfect clones of them- Paradox slime of guardians then mixes into pairs, and spits out two babies each, which become their biological children and the session’s players- All babies are put onto meteors, and once the Reckoning begins, are flung through Skaia’s defence portals- These meteors go through a timeline split, where:

   Beta timeline: the babies go back in time to become the pre-Scratch session’s Guardians and kids, effectively being the reason why they existed in the first place

   Alpha timeline: the babies go into the post-scratch universe, and become the post-scratch Guardians and kids, effectively existing as the backup to the beta session

This does bring the question as to whether a Scratch exists within all sessions, and whether all sessions will naturally create this post-Scratch timeline split of the babies. 

My personal answer is: I don’t think so. I think this timeline split will only occur in sessions where Scratches are actually viable. It makes the most sense, I think! SBURB wouldn’t want random Scratch sessions lying around if the beta session would never actually be able to create it in the first place. Scratches are very involved affairs - you have to actually make them - so I doubt it’s something SBURB would just… have happen automatically. 

And that is my rambling on Ectobiology for the day!! Hopefully this actually posts, because if I have to write this out for a fourth time, I may genuinely start a revolution against Tumblr. I’ll cover myself in grey facepaint and wear awful, shitty horns and everything. 

[uracilcherubs]

> Be the Hivecrasher Limeblood

Yeah, done. Though, does it really count as hivecrashing just because you don’t pay rent? 

Your name is CALLIOPE. You are a lime blood cherub of … well, if you’re honest, you aren’t quite sure how old you are. You’ve tossed around ages in the past, but – as you have also mentioned in the past – time has never really been your strong suit. The whole mess is hardly helped by the multiple sets of memories you have, each one from a different instance of yourself, each one living out longer or shorter lives. Things got…weird…in the Medium, and you try not to think on it for too long.

Suffice it to say, you are OLDER THAN HUMAN THIRTEEN YEARS OLD, and that WORKS ENOUGH FOR YOU. Better to roll with the punches and let the time players sort it out; though the age scale on Umbrage is even more fraught with complications, time travel, extended alternate universes and heaps of sloppy writing.

“i hope that wasn’t sUbtly laid bait for a compliment, “ you say to the open air. “i’m afraid yoU won’t find me an Unbiased critic – or a favoUrable one.”

Kind and sweet and lovable as you are (you chuckle softly at that), you can’t say you have much in the way of fond regard for the life you’ve led , or the unlife for that matter. No, looking back on things, you spent quite a lot of time moping around: moping on your meteor, moping in your session, moping in the dream bubbles, almost 15 times over. So much of your life has been spent moping, moping, moping,  playing the sad, second fiddle to your brother, who hogged more spotlight than any thief of light could hope for.

“we can’t help where oUr mUse takes Us – or oUr lord, as it were!”

You pull a hefty book from the shelf. It’s a new book, of sorts; a reprint of a tome you already own, polished and made new for a brand new audience in a brand new hardcover.  You flip through the pages, delighting at familiar passages. It’s a story you have mixed feelings for, and you can’t say you agree with every direction it took, but in the end it’s a story you devoted years to, and you are content with the fun you had along the way.  You snap the book shut, a look of realization sweeping over your face.

“oh ho,” you start. “perhaps…yes!”

You place the book back on its shelf and rush over to your desk. From a heavy drawer your pull out another book, one heftier and, you admit, a little more worn than some of your others, but one you’ve no less fondness for. You take no care pulling it open (leaving the mystery of its condition apparent to all), making a mad scramble toward its middle. 

You stop not at a fresh page, but one covered in notes and illustrations. A drawing of a large imposing adult cherub dominates the page, his false eye matching his false leg matching his false arm. You don’t particularly care for this chapter of your book—here is where the ties of your shared story really start to tangle and knot – but you can’t help yourself when a previously unconsidered angle dawns on you.

You begin to scribble in what little free space you have on the page, reading your work aloud to the room.

“perhaps, beyond a simple black infatUation, he collected so many serkets for their classpect!”

You scribble in a small sun – the symbol of light players everywhere – into the margin, replacing the center circle with an eight-ball.

“it would certainly sUit Umbrage’s ego, having so many light thieves in one spot…his ship would have made for a veritable narrative magnet!”

You smile at your work and close your unabridged journal, returning it to its place in the desk. You don’t really buy the theory for a second, and you’ve maintained a healthy skepticism of post-canonical word of god, but themes are fun to bring out, even if they’re happy coincidences and even if you just made them up just now.

“bUt i think that’s qUite enoUgh reflecting on the past,” you say, to yourself this time. “we woUldn’t want to get too self indUlgent.”

Anyway.

You stand from your desk and stretch, extending your wings out as you look around your room, which contains a great many deal of your INTERESTS, almost all of them revolving around a WEBCOMIC YOU CANNOT DISCUSS WITH YOUR FRIENDS. Lovely posters line the wall, looking down on figures and plushes you might have abused your powers just a little bit to secure. But  not everything in your room treads into the realm of metatextUal discourse; the walls beam a bright blue, with painted white clouds lazily drifting here and there, all above a carefully (carefUlish!) tiled floor of your design.

It was a thrill, getting to build your own room.  For a brief and chaotic moment, you were able to imagine yourself a troll, out on her own and building her very own hive. And what a hive Callie Ohpeee would live in! With all the books she could ever dream of reading, and divided into hallways of shining gold and striking purple, with free balcony access so she could see the stars and admire the constellations,  and maybe, perhaps, feel a bond with the long-forgotten ancestor she would never know, and-

Ahem.

All that to say, though you didn’t quite follow the design documents of your…fictions… it was a joy being able to put your own direct spin on your living space, just like you were a real troll girl. Though, you recognize, if you were a real real troll girl, you likely wouldn’t live long enough to build your hive palace – barring, of course, all the unculled spinoff au’s where Callie lives long enough to incite a rebellion and lead the lowbloods and forgotten castes into uprising and…okay, look.

You know how this sounds. You do! It is not just for their clumsily written narratives that you look back on your Callie Ohpeee adventures with a grimace. A limeblood messiah rising up and swaying the oppressed into freedom is just less problematic when you’re a naïve cherub who has yet to meet any of the several dear friends who actually lived on Alternian soil, and would take some exception to your…generous interpretation of its actual, real world social dynamics.  It’s just something you had to grow out of!

You’re just grateful it’s an idealism you managed to put a clamp on before you were ever able to enter on a loving treatise about how romantic it would have been to be born on Alternia proper, with an actual lusus and getting to actually navigate the quadrants and…ugh. Okay, that’s enough of that. 

You see what’s happening? All your old fan fictions are coming back to haunt you, and all you wanted to do was think about your cool skaia-inspired room. And it is a very cool room indeed, IN YOUR HUMBLE OPINION.

But despite your best efforts, you fail your attempt at an elegant segue, and your embarrassing trollsona just keeps haunting your think pan brain. You close your eyes and frown as you look back on the life and times of miss Ohpeee. You were so absorbed in your own fantasy version of Alternia, where you were a hero, and didn’t have a hateful brother ruining your life, and you weren’t chained in a small room, and you weren’t ug

You give your head a shake and politely but firmly ask those thoughts to leave. You have, as previously mentioned, spent entirely too much of your life moping, and you are very well not going to let some long-standing insecurities intrude upon your narration anymore!

“and besides,” you say, a smile creeping on your face, “what part of that is fiction anymore? i am very mUch a hero, my brother is qUite dealt with, this room is notably chain-free – and, dear brain, yoU seem to have not caUght onto the fact that we are wonderfully fashionable these days!”

You breathe out the negative feelings with a sigh and give your body another stretch. You take a few more breaths, but the last one slips out as a grumble. Even with the old thoughts shown the door, you find it harder to shake off the discomfort crawling up you, from clawed foot to horned skull. You cannot ignore how aware you are, in this instant, of your own body – the sharpness of your claws, the toughness of your skin, the broadness of your shoulders; the way your cheeks curve out in almost, but by no means exactly, the way the rest of you doesn’t.

You let out another sigh, and while the discomfort doesn’t leave you, you successfully shoo out the heated comments from your brain – commentary you pointedly decide not to dignify with narration. Your smile is somewhat labored, but still sincrere.

It’s been a process, getting to where you are now, and you think you’ve got a long way to go before you can say you’re done. And, perhaps, maybe you’ll never be done – but you know that you aren’t planning on stopping anytime soon.

“i’m sUre i’ll be alright,” you say, and you very much mean it.

[utopianparadoxist]

Xefros Tritoh is a Page of Time. also, class roleplay is real.

I’m still too sick to record for the Joey video, so while I don’t have the time to make a full-scale analysis post on everything about Xefros right now (theres a lot) I figured I’d make two crucial things about reading his character clear:

A) Xefros’ unhealthy relationship with Dammek is the latest example yet of unhealthy Class Roleplay dynamics. If anyone remembers, I speculated weeks ago, before the game dropped, that Xefros’ relationship to the role of Butlering might well turn out to be both unhealthy for him and reflective of Classpect behavior. As it turns out, I seem to have been correct. Specifically, Xefros is roleplaying a Knight through his unwilling assignment of the role of the Butler. B) Xefros is a Page of Time.

Let’s explore them in order, considerably more briskly than with the Joey post. There’s more to say about Xefros, obviously, but unfortunately, I just don’t have the....

Time.  Something I have in common with Xefros, fittingly enough.

Xefros’ general lack of time to keep up with the various demands on his time--mostly Dammek’s demands on his time--is a strong focus point of his character.

And just in case we’re not super sold on it yet, Xefros does us the Time-saving  courtesy of establishing his relationship to the aspect by reinforcing Time’s longstanding relationship to music and rhythm! How nice of you, Xefros. 

Now where were we?

Right. Xefros has a lot on his plate: Band practice, revolutionary lectures, butler practice, and only the occasional reverie about getting to spend time on something Xefros himself finds interesting.

And most of that time is lost in various forms of service to Dammek. Serve is, at this point, basically inarguably the key verb for the Knight/Page class pair--combining connotations of providing service/help, dealing defeats/ownage/sick burns, and literally serving/giving items to others, as the verb counterparts to Thieves/Rogues’ ‘Steal/Take’. 

So Xefros’ unhealthy position of servitude to Dammek is explicitly linked to his unwanted, forced assignment of the role of Butler--which in Homestuck terms loosely correlates to the role of Knight. Dave’s biggest contribution to his session is to serve all his friends time or provide them with resources through the use of his time, for example. 

But where doing so comes naturally to Dave, for Xefros it is an effort to play the role. Xefros does not find butlering fulfilling, and he’s not particularly good at it, either--it’s not where his natural talents shine. 

This is a common thread with most kinds of class roleplay--it usually doesn’t work out well for a player character to pretend to be something they’re not. 

Perhaps particularly so when the role the character is playing encourages them to adopt the opposite class alignment, as when an ACTIVE player is conditioned into acting PASSIVELY. This line comes from Xefros’ FLARP book, by the way, which has a bunch of Classpect references. Fitting, since FLARP is what introduces us to the concept of Class Roleplay in Homestuck proper.

Because this line kind of has to be taken in context. The truth is, Xefros would rather be playing a game.  And it’s in the context of that game, along with Xefros’ childhood and natural effect on others, that we’ll find references to his true classpect, buried under the burden of the imposed Butler role. 

Pages, like Knights, are linked to the image of the Butler--but not as players who fill the role themselves. Rather, Pages seem to have a talent for inspiring other players to act as Butlers for them. Or to close the ouroboros loop of classpecting: To get others to act as their Knights.

Xefros’ affinity for Arena Stickball immediately strikes this echo, as one of the things Xefros immediately remembers is having his Brawler defending him-- a relationship echoed by Tavros’ affinity for using animals as his warriors, and Jake’s summoning of a splinter of Dirk to protect him from Aranea. 

Xefros’ demeanor quickly turns around an overwhelmed and exhausted Joey, making her quickly grow concerned and then adamant about helping him in return for his own kindness. 

This ability of Pages to inspire others around them to want to help them is part of the reason why I think it’s likely Dammek’s concern for him is at least somewhat genuine--though that’s by no means the same as healthy. Vriska’s concern for Tavros was genuine, too, lest we forget.

And Xefros is prone to both Giving things to others and trying to make others happy in ways that ultimately turn out to benefit him. This comes through clearest with Sloth Dad, whom Xefros would give gifts or receive food from whilst always benefiting from the arrangement in some way. 

Xefros’ first cuebat, his physical strength, and open passage from his house are all things achieved by giving. But past the key verbs, Xefros’ clearest indication for both his class of Page and his aspect of Time come through in his relationship to his ancestral figure: Xultan Matzos. 

Xefros’ text logs on Xultan are drowning in both references to Time and a profound personal admiration. He likens Xefros to a figure from history, imagines convoluted alt-timeline crossovers featuring various versions of Xultan, fantasizes about having the kind of psychic power Xultan had, and more. 

He also admits to fantasizing about just imagining Xultan standing around, believing in him. This fits Xultan squarely into the archetype of the Pages’ imaginary friend, a slot filled by Rufioh for Tavros, and Brain Ghost Dirk for Jake. 

Perhaps most telling, however, is his imitation of Xultan--a copycat approach to self-improvement that Xefros credits with at least occasional success! This has common ground with Homestuck’s Pages too, as Tavros ultimately finds narrative success as he fully embodies his imitation of the role of Peter Pan. 

Jake English also famously copies female action movie tropes in both fashion choices and his eventual fall into the damsel in distress trope, whereby it’s his imagination and faith that Dirk can save him that saves the day. 

And finally, Xefros’ copying habit and Page role are referenced in a two-for-one reference combo, through Joey’s persistent early habit of calling him Xerox. 

In the 90′s, Xerox (Logo pictured above) was the colloquial term for both a product and the company that produced it. Particularly, Xerox was a popular brand of photocopier, meaning a machine designed to copy text and images onto a blank Page. 

I haven’t come close to covering half of what I want to say about Xefros, but I hope this will at least give the rest of the fandom an idea of how he’s set up.  Just for the record, I don’t think the X on Pa’s globe was pointing at Dammek. 

Particularly given Pa’s own status as a Page, Joey’s budding friednship with one puts us in a very interesting position. How will Xefros and Joey’s personalities mesh in the long run, and is Xefros involved in whatever plans Pa seems to have devised?

Interesting questions to consider as we wait for Act 2. 

If you’d like to enable me to expand on this subject, and so bring more questions like these to light in the future, please consider throwing a couple bucks my way on Patreon. This is basically definitely my last written post for a good while, as I am going on hiatus to get my financial life in order as detailed in this post. 

I’m really overwhelmed and grateful by the support so many have shown me, and excited to take posts like the one I did on Joey and this one to Youtube, where more of the fandom can engage with classpects in an accessible way!

You can also feel free to drop by and chat about this and other interesting Hiveswap and Homestuck topics in the r/Hiveswap discord! 

Hope to see you soon, and until then--Keep Rising!

[Patreon] [Hiveswap Discord]

[judgesabo]

A Year of Theory

One year ago today I posted my Classpect Analysis, my first serious attempt at theorycrafting for CaNWC. Now seems like the perfect time then to look back and see what has changed. What old questions have been answered, and what cool and new questions have been raised?

Classpects

I am absolutely delighted by the progress that has been made here. My original classpect post has essentially been confirmed in full, and we’ve made plenty of new discoveries as well. Jhon is the Boss of Wheels, Hecka is the Mus of Time, and Rose is the Lord of Space. Beyond this, Lord Spanish/Lord English has also been confirmed as the Lord of Time, and Papaya/Kanaya has been confirmed to be the Sylph of Space.

Hecka has also made significant progress in inspiring people for war, even convincing Dabe to fight against his daddy. He’s also demonstrated an intuitive understanding for all matters related to time, showing an even greater understanding than a sprite. As yesterday’s update demonstrated, Hecka is able to skillfully use this in the fight itself, creating stable time loops on the fly.

Rose continues to follow down the path of the Lord of Space, giving a greater analysis of the Corruption and working tactically off of that plan. Jack Noir has also offered an analysis of Rose which is very similar to my own.

Lalonde isn’t someone you want to cross. It’s bad enough that each of the heroes has the ability to manipulate an aspect... Not to mention that she now has the horrorterrors doing her bidding, and she has an above-average intelligence, even for a woman uncorrupted. And you’re not one to give out compliments lightly.

If anyone can get this awful reality back to normal, it’s her.

New difficulties have arisen for each player though, and the bids for power will be intense from here on. Hecka Jef’s main goal of killing Jhon has already been completed, so for this moment he’s fighting for nothing. Rose has been officially recognized as a horrorterror herself, so her command over their entire forces is now more explicit, but they are also clearly preoccupied with their own fight for survival against Lord English. Jaed is also likely going to lose control of Prostit soon, facing challenges from both the Blapck Quen and Fresh Whyte Germysprite. But Jack is also pushing to gain control of Durst himself, which may gain Rose new control over the Dark Kingdom. Major changes to the balance of power are due.

Enough with the old, on with the new. Jhon has been given the title ‘Boss of Wheels.’ Since this is a fanon class and aspect, instead of using the classpect to analyze Jhon, we will use Jhon to understand the class and aspect.

The most obvious thing about the title is of course that "Boss of Wheels” is essentially a rewording of “RollerCoaster Tycoon.” When Jhon did the ‘wheely thing,’ he caused a roller coaster to rescue him from lava, seeming to simply will it into existence.  Bg’ogubmom’ibulsprite explicitly confirms that ‘control of theme park rides’ is a power of the Boss of Wheels.

The aspect ‘Wheels’ should be taken as referring to roller coasters, or possibly any kind of transportation. Taking it even more broadly, it could even be taken to mean ‘velocity,’ fitting in with time and space as a fundamental force. Or perhaps it is meant to represent technological progress and advancement, as the invention of the wheel often marks the dawn of civilization.

Wheels are a common symbol across many cultures, but the most famous is the Wheel of Fortune. The Rota Fortunae represents the ever changing and tumultuous nature of fate, spun at random by Fortuna, the goddess of luck. Dynasties are built and they collapse based on its movements.

This concept was adopted into the tarot deck as the tenth card of the Major Arcana, representing destiny, fortune, and success, and reversed represents troubles and negative forces outside of your control. Incidentally, the Homestuck tarot deck shows a god-tier John looking up from his planet as Skaia.

And, of course, the Wheel of Fortune was also adopted as a popular game show where people solve hangman-style word puzzles to win money. A little less mystical, that one, but it strengthens the “money” theme.

Jhon’s own destiny in saving the economy of the Land of Dollers and Danger from President Obana. The LODAD economy is centered around the millions of small businesses that populate it, which are now facing a depression under Obana’s rule. Jhon’s quest will be to become an extremely powerful business owner and build a theme park so awesome it will save the economy before facing Obana in the Oval Offace. So obviously fortune and wealth play a big part of Jhon’s life already.

Jhon’s class as Boss also takes a distinctly economic focus. A boss of course refers to a supervisor, someone in charge who manages a business, directing their employees. The word boss was taken from the Dutch word baas, meaning ‘master.’  Looking at the synonym of tycoon a bit more, while the English definition simply means a powerful person in an industry, the word itself is a corruption of the Japanese word ‘taikun’ or ‘great lord,’ referring to a shogun.

An important question here is whether a Boss would be a standard class or a master class. The word itself certainly wouldn’t be out of place as a master class, except perhaps for breaking with the Medieval theme, but it’s unclear if master classes could work like that. Calliope certainly seems to indicate that there are only two master classes, and marks them as distinct for being the furthers on the passive/active scale. If a Boss is a master class, what is it’s pair, if it has one, and what relation does it have to other classes? It could also be a standard class of course, the existence of which  beyond the twelve we know having always been a solid maybe.

Looking at Jhon’s behavior, this class is also likely connected to Jhon’s role as a ‘daddy’ in CaNWC. Jhon is considered the daddy of Dabe Stidrer, Momi, Dadd before he met Dacronian Dignity, and made two independent offers to be a daddy to two different crocodiles mere moments after meeting them. LODAD might also be a reference to this, being the Land of DAD.

I would argue that Boss is an active class, assuming that scale applies, possibly with an interpretation of ‘manager of their aspect’ or ‘one who manages via their aspect.’

Interestingly, a video game boss is typically the main antagonist of a series. o has explicitly stated that he’s already building up Rose’s side as being the villains of the series.

Rose’s Time Powers

In addition to her space powers, Rose has been shown to have some degree of control over time. At the moment there is little explanation for this, although we do know that it is not part of her power as Lord of Space. AR and Bg’ogubmom’ibulsprite both seem to be aware of the source of these powers and imply that Rose will discover this source during her quest. As of yet we do not even know what her quest is though, which makes theorizing about it rather difficult.

It is worth noting that Rose’s time power is marked by her signature color, while her space powers uses the traditional green sun shade of green. The fact that it’s her color does seem to indicate that it is some kind of innate ability, or at least one tailored to Rose specifically.

Contrast this to Hecka Jef’s own symbol, which is marked with the Time red, rather than his more pinkish red.

Any answer to this question will likely be of o’s own invention, and certainly doesn’t seem to match any existing Sburb mechanics. The closest incident that comes to mind would be items related to an aspect, such as Caliborn using the Ring of Void, or John using the Fear No Anvil, but those aren’t exactly innate. For the moment I will simply concur with Jack’s own conclusion that this has to be cheating.

For the sake of sheer speculation, I’m going to guess that Rose got the time powers from Lord English in some kind of exchange, or perhaps as a reward, for freeing him and the rest of the Felt from the corruption. Rose has been confirmed as a Lord of Space, so I’m standing by my own classpect analysis to say that she will be the explicit cause of why some characters have been enhanced. As a Lord of Time, it could make sense that Lord English would grant her time powers even before she makes the exchange.

Troll Players

The next bit of news is that we have learned that Nepeta is indeed trolling the humans, and we can see her corrupted handle. This leaves Eridan and Feferi as the odds one out as the only two characters that haven’t had their handles revealed.

Of course this isn’t definitive proof that they are the two non-player trolls. In fact, it’s basically nothing. If Dabe can be in the human session without being a player, the trolls might have brought the two odd ones out with them as well. Still, it’s best to keep track of these things. Plus we already know that Eridan is, ahem, tied up at the moment anyways, which is a much better reason to think he’s out.

Considering that the background for Act 5 contains all twelve astrological symbols, we should expect to see the full cast of trolls.

Coulor and Darknes

We finally have some indication as to why the trolls are harassing the humans. According to Kraket, the reason they are looking for vengeance is because their “winners door” has been stolen, which I am happy to say I predicted.

Unlike what I predicted however, Kraket claims they are still being killed by a pair of demons from Earth, one of color and the other of darkness. In addition, Kraket extends this blame to Dabe, even though he’s not a player, claiming that he has known both demons for years, and emphasizes Hecka Jef’s blame over others.

In canon, Karkat never had a good grasp on how long a year was meant to be, so who knows how long he’s really talking about, but it’s fair to say that this is significant.

Lord English makes the most sense for being the Demon of Color, especially considering we already know he has the door, but that leaves an obvious problem with the rest of Kraket’s description. Dabe doesn’t know Lord English. He likely knows Lil Cal, but that’s a fairly weak connection. Caliborn is technically from Earth, but not from the session that the trolls are viewing.

The evidence so far also heavily indicates that Caliborn is indeed still Lord English. We know that Lord English is the Lord of Time from another session, that he leads the Felt, that Lil Cal exists, that the Cairo Overcoat exists, and that it travels through time via sarcophagus.

The Demon of Color might still be some other minion or version of Lord English, like Union Jack in Homestuck. This makes both Dabe’s Bro and the Big Man likely candidates.

The Demon of Darkness on the other hand could work for Rose, further contrasting her to the Lord of Time. Her connection to the Horrorterrors is already well established. Assuming it’s not her personally though, a few more options open up for who this could be since the Queen’s Ring turns people into creatures with the powers of the head of the noble circle.

The fact that Hecka Jef prototyped Rose’s grimoire also makes Kraket’s blame all the more appropriate. That’s an action that very explicitly puts the blame on him.

The bigger difficulty with this theory is that the Queen’s Rings do not work on humans, which makes it difficult to see who Dabe could have known all his life, yet still use its power. One possible answer to this is that since each ring is also prototyped with Dabe’s life-long friend Germy, Kraket may be placing the blame on him. So while a carapacian will still be wearing the ring, Kraket will blame Germy.

Final Thoughts

And there you have it. One year later and CaNWC is still going strong, with plenty new and cool content, art, and music. I’m looking forward to another year of content in the future and all the new facts and theories to come.

[bluetinge]

It’s been a year... more thoughts on the ending of Homestuck

  Okay, so, I just rewatched Act 7 for the first time in forever, had a couple revelations, and I felt the need to post my thoughts. 

   The last time I did this, I feel like I didn’t fully articulate myself? Like, I have had a whooole bunch more thoughts since then and they need to be free... most importantly, I spent most of this year getting down every time I thought of Homestuck because I immediately thought of the ending... I was kidding myself when I said it wasn’t disappointing. It was! Homestuck has been at a consistently sky-high level of quality since its inception (Imo, might be a side affect of reading 3/4 of the thing through archives) and the ending was just... good. not great. not what I expected. And I mean, I can understand that! Hussie obviously didn’t intend to sink this much of his life into this comic (remember it was originally planned for one year, somehow) and not to mention he has obviously had some serious crazy stuff happening with hiveswap... I should be able to forgive him for maybe not sticking the landing.

   And yet, I feel like there’s a little more to this whole thing than that. Out of every webcomic and piece of media I’ve ever consumed, Homestuck is still the most unique, and the void it left behind in my left /still/ hasn’t been filled. I mean, Paranatural is funny, Erfworld has intricate plots, Dumbing of Age has high-quality updates every day- these and more are all outSTANDING webcomics! But you /really/ can’t beat Homestuck. Nothing I have ever seen can replicate Hussie’s cutting humor, nothing has pages upon pages of zany characters trading intensely well-crafted dialogue, and absolutely nothing has that same level of RESPECT for the reader that Homestuck has. Hussie just throws you into the comic headfirst- it starts off with a kid screwing around in his room with a data-structure-based inventory system of all things (did I mention homestuck is also ridiculously creative and so wonderful in the best ways) and then dives head-first into the increasingly convoluted plot, complete with a time-traveling narration and children who don’t waste time being surprised at things like, “Oh, this game can MODIFY the world around us? This is totally crazy and I need to have several pages worth of incredulity and explanation!” Homestuck provides you with enough to understand it- although I admit I somewhat relied on my brother’s explanations for the first few acts- and if you can’t keep up then Hussie will not slow down for you! (”You can talk to the hand!”)

   I’m sure not explaining things isn’t exactly a novel technique- and many people would consider it a flaw- but its so refreshing to read something where the author allows the plot to get this complicated and different and doesn’t try to bog it down with explanations! It almost feels like stretching out your mind, allowing yourself to seriously use your brain for once, and god it feels /so good/. And for the parts where you don’t understand- yes, there were plenty of these for me at least- the humor is unique and crazy enough to keep you going!

   Okay, I’m actually digressing horribly here. What I’m building up to is that I was expecting, as Caliborn would say, my “shitty twist.” I wanted it, and I /needed/ it. That revelation in Cascade that [spoilers] the Tumor was creating the Green Sun all along? Astounding. The end of act five (a1) when it was revealed S***b was creating a new universe all along? Blew my mind (although maybe it was obvious to non-archival readers). 

   Anyways, that was my major disappointment. I had been following BKEW for about two years now, and while I didn’t buy into the plausibility of many or most of his theories (c’mon, all that “evidence” for classpects was pretty arbitrary) I did learn to appreciate the vastness and interconnectedness of Homestuck, and Andrew Hussie’s genius. Most importantly of all, I caught his excitement for the update- I was really looking forward to whatever mind-blowing revelation Hussie cooked up for us.

   Of course, as we came closer and closer to the end of the comic, more and more doubts filled my mind. Vriska described (dictated?) the battle plan and... in collide, everything went according exactly according to that plan. I was afforded a brief respite of hope with that creepy static-y ending, but as soon as the interlude panels went up I knew something was fishy. I dreader it in the back of my mind- I even joked about it (what if the twist is that there is no twist)- but, well, I had faith in Hussie. And then when Act 7 came out- I knew there was a pretty goood chance it would only be a few pages. Act 7 actually was pretty confusing, in a way, and at the very least it provided more to think about than Collide- I had to re-watch it a few times, before I finally formed an opinion on what was going on- but I was left closing out of that video with an uncomfortable feeling.

   So the shitty twist, well, it didn’t really exist as such. There were a couple important plot revelations- LE was immortal and infused with rainbow-majjyks because he cheated, stopping and breaking his own god-tier resurrection clock so he couldn't be killed, inhaling the rainbow-dust to get that colorful, epileptic aesthetic- and it also explained why the cue balls were his weakness- since the all-knowing cue balls act as the judgment pendulums, attacking him with a cue ball weapon that kills him could conceivably stop the resurrections as well. So, I felt, well, partially satisfied- more weird plot shit had been explained, and the house bits were hella ambiguous but still more mysteries to crown over. Still, I was left feeling a little shaken up, but I was able to convince myself I liked the ending.

   That... didn’t last. There were just too many problems I had. I went online, searching for people with the same deep-seated dissatisfaction as me, and I found plenty of upd8 h8. Some of it- a lot of it- I agreed with, some of it I did not, but it helped me understand. When Hussie announced the epilogue, this was a turning point for a lot of people, giving them hope- but for me it just made me mad... like, I wanted an ENDING, yo! I had been riding the homestuck train for over four years, and I was actually looking forward to an exciting conclusion! I mean, this might sound strange to some, but for me an epilogue just confirmed for me that homestuck was ending in a very mundane way, and maybe it would tie up lose ends but I think it more likely it might just tie up one major end (cough cough masterpiece) and leave the rest out...

   Okay good godde a lot of those words were unnecessary... let me just sum up my findings from the past year or so of exploration: I didn’t like the ending because it was missing what made Homestuck great. From the very beginning and almost to the very end, Homestuck has had three major things going for it:

- The humor. Again, Hussie’s humor is just incredible. Collide had plenty of it, but the ending as a whole, including all the panels before and after collide? Not much narration, quite a bit of dialogue that didn’t really have too much of a place for it (more on that in a sec), and lots of serious, single-image and guest art panels. In other words, there simply wasn’t very much room for it! That wry, poking-fun-at-the-reader tone of Hussie’s was gone, and the comic didn’t quite feel like Homestuck because of it.

- The plot. I’ve already said a bunch about this above so I will try to keep this to a minimum, but I feel like the story just, well, stopped expecting very much of us. It told us what would happen... and then it happened. A reset and developed-offscreen version of Vriska fixed everything (as did an alternate timeline Calliope with no clear origin.) And that’s not even mentioning the myriad of other plot holes that Hussie left open! (Where did the special frog of Jade’s come from? Why did the Condesce have a second Gl’bgolybs? Did Dave ever drink his own piss in a bottle of apple juice?) Many of these aren’t particularly important questions, and can be excused on their own- and there are of course plenty of foreshadowed events that never come to fruition- but it would be nice for there to be some resolution on some of these!

- And lastly, the characterization. There, was, like, none of this in the “Ending” as we think of it, which I think is fair... or would be if it wasn't for what I consider the most physically painful part of Homestuck: the Game Over timeline reset. It... oh my god, the pain I feel thinking back on it. I respect that Hussie tries to break story traditions, but oh god why! These characters, that we’ve been following for years- that we’ve watched grow- that we LOVED- all suddenly had their backstories reset, and replaced with new ones we barely saw. I just... I have physical trouble thinking about it. John may be the same John, but to be frank he’s always been (to me) one of the less interesting characters in Homestuck. Roxy, Jasprose, and the Davesprite half of Davepeta all came from the “original” timeline, and probably Aradia remained unchanged. Everyone else? All got reset and had their own character development, the most we saw of was a slideshow! There’s so much we don’t know about what remained the same and what was different... so much of it happened offscreen. Even minor things, like Karkat and Meenah’s friendship, got retconned out of existence- and it extended into the alpha kids as well with their sprites. We spent so much time reading this material, enjoying it, theorizing about what would happen next, and that was apparently all for naught. Maybe the ending would have been more palatable had we actually, you know, known the kids who got the happy endings frolicking on the revived Earth! Had they solved their problems, had they earned it! Maybe if we had more time to really get to know them... but we didn’t, at least not for me. Parts of them seemed familiar, but parts of them were not, and the kids who won the game didn’t feel like the same ones that started it- because they weren’t.

And through this all, what I ask is: why??? and how??? Collide and Act 7 were dissapointing, sure, but it wasn’t a fundamental problem with them- they simply came too soon. The story wasn’t finished- in fact, it had recently gone backwards and gutted itself. Hussie HAD to have known this. Right? He’s an extremely smart man, and I can’t possibly see him not foreseeing this issues or at least noticing them. Maybe these really WEREN’T issues to him- after all, the characters are his own. He knows exactly what he wants to know about the new characters and, except for a few Striders, couldn’t share it with the rest of us. Either that, or the errors were too late to fix. 

And THAT’S why the ending feels hollow to me. That’s why I can’t sleep some nights, staying up reading Homestuck and Homestuck-ending-hate, trying to reclaim some of what I lost. The ending we got was hollow because everything post- Vriska return was empty, and even though I had faith at the time that this magic man would work it all out somehow, he didn’t. 

Actually, it’s occurring to me now that this “Ultimate Self” business may have been an attempt to cover for it. Of course, it doesn’t fix it- you can tell me that it’s okay because Terezi can remember her past selves, or that pre-GO Jade and post-GO Jade are the same Jade all you want, and I won’t believe it- I CAN’T believe it, because they aren’t. The Jade I knew is dead in the ground. 

Anyways, I had been unable to watch the Act 7 flash for some time now. Collide I can actually enjoy, but for some reason Act 7 was untouchable- until, well, I listened to some of the music and got the urge to watch it again for the first time in so many months. Like, just a few hours ago.

And here’s the thing: I thought it was amazing. I forgot how good it was. And I think the last piece of the puzzle has fallen into place, at least for me and for now.

Hussie isn’t clueless- he wanted this flash for a reason. And as much as the fans might complain, he chose to focus on that flashing tadpole for a good third of the video (not as long as people have been claiming!). And I realized something:

Homestuck really deserved this ending. This was, maybe, the best ending I could ever hope for.

Homestuck has been gradually building in art quality and scale, and as much as people (like myself) might complain that the anime-ish finale was totally unnecessary, upon reexamination a year later I think Homestuck nailed it. It couldn’t end in any way less than this.

Okay, I admit the music might be so good I got a little emotional and very persuaded. But really- it was so majestic. Seeing that frog? We knew it was coming- we have known since year two. But in order to truly go out with a bang, Homestuck needed this- it needed to reach up and touch the very highest potential it could reach. 

And ultimately? It was an amazing and incredibly fulfilling ending to Homestuck. Besides the frog (my only complaint is the lack of an audible vast croak!) we got to see lord english approach a mystery demise- yes, frustrating for some that we don’t even see what happens to him, but I think Hussie is telling us something by not being explicit, and by focusing more on Caliborn than Caliborn’s adult (sort of) self.

Hussie is trying to tell us about the power of people.

Passionate people, he shows us, can cause huge events, be at the crux of huge turns of events, and they don’t even have to be particularly nice. Vriska apparently redeemed herself some off-screen- maybe she just naturally got more mature- and was able to single-handedly ensure the heroes’ success in Collide and her own fate as the one to put a stop to LE. John, a more passive person, went from the self-hating narrator’s punching bag in Act One to a leader of heroes- granted, with plenty of help along the way, but he was passionate about making friends all the same. And Caliborn- he may be a terrible person, but he worked through his tedious punishments and learned the rules of the world and got what he wanted- ultimate power, even if he was ensured an ultimate fate in the same moment. 

Compare, then, to Griska, who became so passive and vulnerable she was completely unrecognizable to her younger self, or Tavros, whose one self was carried through to the new world on the achievements of others, a sleeping instrument of Vriska’s, versus his other self that saw his dream of being a badass hero with self-confidence come true. 

Okay, I’m not really sure if this was Hussie’s intended meaning or not- the last three paragraphs of mine reek of speculation. The point I’m apparently writing a fricking essay trying to make, though, is this- when taken as a whole, I think there were some serious problems with the ending. But, if you just look at the achievements of the final two flashes? If you zoom out a bit, and see that maybe the “Masterpiece” was the shitty twist all along, and will seem just as much a part of the ending as Collide? That, yes, characters were changed, HUGELY- after all, Hussie always likes to change things up, never get too predictable- but maybe it was for a real reason, and people were so deliberately changed on purpose? I still think it was a mistake to go as far as he did, but I see another side now- I see how the Vriskas and the Tavroses and the Terezis and the Roses and the Daves are changed, on each side of the line, some for worse but some for better. And maybe three and a half minutes of frog animation really was necessary for completing Hussie’s vision? For completing his Homestuck?

I may still have problems with the ending, but I think I learned today I need to take it all in perspective. I actually, think, somehow, I’m at peace with Homestuck now, and that I think I might be able to see Act 7 not as a random disappointment but as a greater part to a whole. 

[rogue-of-light]

yeah that makes sense tbh, i do know about the dancestors/ancestors being "the same guy but not" though, i do still find it interesting how the aspects are passed down to the beta trolls

something similar but also different; do you think that people/trolls are born/hatched with their classpects already 'in the stars' so to speak, or do you think it's something that's formed in time? if it's the latter, do you think it would be subject to change, or would it simply stay the same forever? -KPA

Same ! Classpects are wild, same with ancestry

Hmmm- as for that... I don't think so. I don't think we're destined for one thing or another, I think it's something subject to change but I also do think that at the same time, it is something you grow into. It's like with Kidswaps/Bloodswaps you know? Part of them stays the same, the class or the aspect (usually aspect) yet because they're no longer in the same situation- part of them is completely different.

I think it's very possible for things to change as you grow and develop, but I also think that at least part of your classpect will remain the same. Like me for example! When I first made this blog a few years ago, I was a rogue of light. Now? I'm still a rogue, because that has never changed, but my aspect has! Kinda.

I'm now a Rogue of Light and a Rogue of Blood. As I grew, my aspect changed yet my class remained the same.

I also think, that once you go god tier, something Big has to happen to change your classpect. I think once you complete sburb, you're kind of locked into your classpect in a sense because those core values can't change- John can realize avoidance can't solve everything, but he's still going to be carefree because of the very nature of heir of breath. But say- oh I don't know- a life-altering event happens (or, even really a Relization) then a classpect might change.

Using one of my OCs, Nemris, as an example- She should have been a Knight of Light, however... As soon as she learned what it meant to be a "Fushia" from the books she read, she became a Knight of Doom and is now locked in that.

All in all- I think major events and core traits define what your classpect is, not being born with it, and then you can change your classpect if your willpower is high enough or if something Major happens.

[utopianparadoxist]

Here’s a post on Joey’s Hero Title--The MAID of LIGHT!--and how understanding it strengthens our reading of Joey’s struggles with neglect and loneliness, her STRIFES, her skills and abilities, and more! We even look at some interesting foreshadowing for where her arc may be going in the next Acts!

(Credit to @thricequeen and @dahniwitchoflight for providing key details that feed into my own speculation, btw! Thanks a ton, peeps)

Classpecting has so far been a hugely underappreciated part of Hiveswap’s narrative, and I’d like to change that. This post is also a focused introduction on Classpects in general, and should ideally be perfectly easy to follow if you’re a new Hiveswap fan with no exposure to the system from Homestuck! 

I do have to warn, however, that there will be Homestuck Spoilers in this essay. So heads up about that! Now, on to some bad news. I have similar Classpect essays brainstormed for Xefros Tritoh and Jude Harley. But alas, it may be a while before I can write those. 

As excited as I am to post this, it comes with an announcement I wish I wasn’t making. If you enjoy this essay and want to know more about future content from me, please read on.

So. Shit kind of hit the fan for me recently, and I may be going on hiatus from this analysis/Youtube venture soon. To give you an idea of what my life is like at the moment:

I’ve been massively struggling with unmedicated anxiety and ADHD (at least) since Trumps’ election. I’ve been bouncing from job to job, doing well enough but never QUITE well enough to be actually stable. 

I’m currently employed as a contractor for a really promising position…! That I keep waiting to get assignments on. It’s been weeks, and it hasn’t happened yet. And I can’t afford to wait like this. 

I live in a one bedroom apartment with three other people. My wonderful, amazing, caring and supportive best friend--who’s essentially been funding my wild venture at doing this patreon thing from the beginning--has been withering under the toxic enviroment in his workplace. He’s developed chronic back pain that’s quickly becoming a serious concern to us. 

Also, I’m several thousand dollars in credit card debt due to heavy expenses while I helped said best friend escape his abusive home life. So is he.

On top of that, my family may now be looking at like two months without electricity due to Puerto Rico being pounded by hurricanes. And for the last year or so, I’ve been unable to help with...anything. Worse, I can barely help myself and have occasionally turned into a drain on the resources of the people I care about.

The only reason I’ve thought of this Patreon venture as worthwhile up until now is because of the moments I WAS able to make a difference here, in this community--whenever I make someone feel better about Homestuck, or help people make new connections they find exciting. 

Starting this Patreon venture has been the best decision I’ve ever made because of that feeling. It’s been worth everything. I’ve made wonderful friends, and It gives my life meaning. I love it. It has also, financially, been the worst decision I’ve ever made--at least for the time being.

Thinking out and writing these posts has involved intense mental effort that pretty much takes over my life until I’m done doing it, and that combined with my mental issues and financial instability has made it impossible to build any coherent structure to either my work or my life.

Yet still, I want so badly to keep doing it.

The hell of it is, I know I’m right about Homestuck. Both in that I make as close to accurate statements about it as we’ve seen as a community thus far (I’m sure I don’t have everything right, but I’m working on it) and in that I am fundamentally correct to believe in it. 

Homestuck, and the broader universe it is building are the kinds of stories that can make the world a better place. I want to help make that possible, and that will never change.

But for the time being, I have to focus on taking care of me and mine and getting my life in order. So I am posting this as my final gambit.

I’m not asking for handouts. But feel free to read this essay--or watch the video version I’ll be putting out before I temporarily close up shop. You can also check out my Patreon, which I’ve now updated with nearly all of my written work as well as with links to my videos.

I am confident in pretty much everything posted there, and I think odds are good any particular link will lead you to make connections about Homestuck you hadn’t before. Real cool ones, too! If you find that useful to you, and you like reading and engaging with this content, then please consider throwing me a buck on Patreon. 

At the time of writing, I have about 1,100 followers on Tumblr. If I was up to about 1,000 on Patreon, I’d at least be able to take care of myself without burdening the people I love further and focus on this work in a healthy way.  More than that and my life could start getting better, meaning my work would become better as well.

So for you guys, that means about half of my follower base choosing to give me a dollar a month would be plenty. Or a quarter choosing to give me two. I don’t really think it’s insurmountable, which is why I’m posting this. 

For right now, I’d love to write Classpects posts similar to Joey’s on Jude and Xefros. I’m also just entering the next phase of Homestuck: Explained, which means--among other things--making a concise and accessible video on the Classpect system for non-fans. I think this joey post makes clear I’d do a pretty good job at it! 

Alas, barring the outrageous success of this post, I’m gonna be putting them off for a little while so I can focus on my next steps. If you’d like to see more of that stuff sooner, helping me out would be a great way to get it.

And I will clarify that even if you’re willing, I would rather you don’t support this venture unless you’re A) An Adult and B) Financially stable and sure you’re comfortable with doing so! That should go without saying, but I would really hate for someone to put themselves or their families out by trying to support me.  Worst case scenario, I’ll get back to this eventually. 

Thanks for everything up until now. And whether I’m presently around or not in the coming weeks…

Keep rising.

[Patreon]