#I stay in my feelings
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Can you believe I'm having to make this meme even after successfully finishing up taxes and applying to job
#adhd#autism#Dad: Don't worry little man it's super simple! Just let me - the figure you seek support from - tell you to not be afraid#and then - stay with me here! - juuuuuust do it!#voila. my job is done you're welcome have fun doing all the research and figuring out without issue now <3 no problem#(and no of course I won't acknowledge your previous adulting accomplishments bc that's just expected stuff anyway)#||#vent#i guess? man#i don't have opinions or feelings on the internet often but man
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they should invent a new type of "staying in bed for 2-3 hours after you wake up repeatedly opening and closing apps on your phone" where it makes you feel awesome and energized and emotionally fulfilled
#buny text#I'm fine i've just been staying up too late playing bg3 the past few nights#and then wanting to wake up before noon so my parents don't say anything rude to me so i end up getting less sleep to facilitate that#and it's catching up to me#i feel like this explanation maybe undermines my previous statement of 'I'm fine' a bit but I'm fine i promise#look at my lop posts boy
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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whatever I'll post my addendum to it anyway
#monsters#monsters getting to stay monsters but be loved and accepted#my beloved trope <3#sorry to edit your meme op#but I needed it to reflect my true feelings on the troup
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Awhile ago @ouidamforeman made this post:
This shot through my brain like a chain of firecrackers, so, without derailing the original post, I have some THOUGHTS to add about why this concept is not only hilarious (because it is), but also...
It. It kind of fucks. Severely.
And in a delightfully Pratchett-y way, I'd dare to suggest.
I'll explain:
As inferred above, both Crowley AND Aziraphale have canonical Biblical counterparts. Not by name, no, but by function.
Crowley, of course, is the serpent of Eden.
(note on the serpent of Eden: In Genesis 3:1-15, at least, the serpent is not identified as anything other than a serpent, albeit one that can talk. Later, it will be variously interpreted as a traitorous agent of Hell, as a demon, as a guise of Satan himself, etc. In Good Omens --as a slinky ginger who walks funny)
Lesser known, at least so far as I can tell, is the flaming sword. It, too, appears in Genesis 3, in the very last line:
"So he drove out the man; and placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life." --Genesis 3:24, KJV
Thanks to translation ambiguity, there is some debate concerning the nature of the flaming sword --is it a divine weapon given unto one of the Cherubim (if so, why only one)? Or is it an independent entity, which takes the form of a sword (as other angelic beings take the form of wheels and such)? For our purposes, I don't think the distinction matters. The guard at the gate of Eden, whether an angel wielding the sword or an angel who IS the sword, is Aziraphale.
(note on the flaming sword: in some traditions --Eastern Orthodox, for example-- it is held that upon Christ's death and resurrection, the flaming sword gave up it's post and vanished from Eden for good. By these sensibilities, the removal of the sword signifies the redemption and salvation of man.
...Put a pin in that. We're coming back to it.)
So, we have our pair. The Serpent and the Sword, introduced at the beginning and the end (ha) of the very same chapter of Genesis.
But here's the important bit, the bit that's not immediately obvious, the bit that nonetheless encapsulates one of the central themes, if not THE central theme, of Good Omens:
The Sword was never intended to guard Eden while Adam and Eve were still in it.
Do you understand?
The Sword's function was never to protect them. It doesn't even appear until after they've already fallen. No... it was to usher Adam and Eve from the garden, and then keep them out. It was a threat. It was a punishment.
The flaming sword was given to be used against them.
So. Again. We have our pair. The Serpent and the Sword: the inception and the consequence of original sin, personified. They are the one-two punch that launches mankind from paradise, after Hell lures it to destruction and Heaven condemns it for being destroyed. Which is to say that despite being, supposedly, hereditary enemies on two different sides of a celestial cold war, they are actually unified by one purpose, one pivotal role to play in the Divine Plan: completely fucking humanity over.
That's how it's supposed to go. It is written.
...But, in Good Omens, they're not just the Serpent and the Sword.
They're Crowley and Aziraphale.
(author begins to go insane from emotion under the cut)
In Good Omens, humanity is handed it's salvation (pin!) scarcely half an hour after losing it. Instead of looming over God's empty garden, the sword protects a very sad, very scared and very pregnant girl. And no, not because a blameless martyr suffered and died for the privilege, either.
It was just that she'd had such a bad day. And there were vicious animals out there. And Aziraphale worried she would be cold.
...I need to impress upon you how much this is NOT just a matter of being careless with company property. With this one act of kindness, Aziraphale is undermining the whole entire POINT of the expulsion from Eden. God Herself confronts him about it, and he lies. To God.
And the Serpent--
(Crowley, that is, who wonders what's so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil anyway; who thinks that maybe he did a GOOD thing when he tempted Eve with the apple; who objects that God is over-reacting to a first offense; who knows what it is to fall but not what it is to be comforted after the fact...)
--just goes ahead and falls in love with him about it.
As for Crowley --I barely need to explain him, right? People have been making the 'didn't the serpent actually do us a solid?' argument for centuries. But if I'm going to quote one of them, it may as well be the one Neil Gaiman wrote ficlet about:
"If the account given in Genesis is really true, ought we not, after all, to thank this serpent? He was the first schoolmaster, the first advocate of learning, the first enemy of ignorance, the first to whisper in human ears the sacred word liberty, the creator of ambition, the author of modesty, of inquiry, of doubt, of investigation, of progress and of civilization." --Robert G. Ingersoll
The first to ask questions.
Even beyond flattering literary interpretation, we know that Crowley is, so often, discreetly running damage control on the machinations of Heaven and Hell. When he can get away with it. Occasionally, when he can't (1827).
And Aziraphale loves him for it, too. Loves him back.
And so this romance plays out over millennia, where they fall in love with each other but also the world, because of each other and because of the world. But it begins in Eden. Where, instead of acting as the first Earthly example of Divine/Diabolical collusion and callousness--
(other examples --the flood; the bet with Satan; the back channels; the exchange of Holy Water and Hellfire; and on and on...)
--they refuse. Without even necessarily knowing they're doing it, they just refuse. Refuse to trivialize human life, and refuse to hate each other.
To write a story about the Serpent and the Sword falling in love is to write a story about transgression.
Not just in the sense that they are a demon and an angel, and it's ~forbidden. That's part of it, yeah, but the greater part of it is that they are THIS demon and angel, in particular. From The Real Bible's Book of Genesis, in the chapter where man falls.
It's the sort of thing you write and laugh. And then you look at it. And you think. And then you frown, and you sit up a little straighter. And you think.
And then you keep writing.
And what emerges hits you like a goddamn truck.
(...A lot of Pratchett reads that way. I believe Gaiman when he says Pratchett would have been happy with the romance, by the way. I really really do).
It's a story about transgression, about love as transgression. They break the rules by loving each other, by loving creation, and by rejecting the hatred and hypocrisy that would have triangulated them as a unified blow against humanity, before humanity had even really got started. And yeah, hell, it's a queer romance too, just to really drive the point home (oh, that!!! THAT!!!)
...I could spend a long time wildly gesturing at this and never be satisfied. Instead of watching me do that (I'll spare you), please look at this gif:
I love this shot so much.
Look at Eve and Crowley moving, at the same time in the same direction, towards their respective wielders of the flaming sword. Adam reaches out and takes her hand; Aziraphale reaches out and covers him with a wing.
You know what a shot like that establishes? Likeness. Commonality. Kinship.
"Our side" was never just Crowley and Aziraphale. Crowley says as much at the end of season 1 ("--all of us against all of them."). From the beginning, "our side" was Crowley, Aziraphale, and every single human being. Lately that's around 8 billion, but once upon a time it was just two other people. Another couple. The primeval mother and father.
But Adam and Eve die, eventually. Humanity grows without them. It's Crowley and Aziraphale who remain, and who protect it. Who...oversee it's upbringing.
Godfathers. Sort of.
#good omens#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#good omens 2#crowley#aziraphale#good omens meta#I have no idea if I've made a coherent point here but I'm tired of this being in my drafts; RAW FEELINGS IT IS#it's about being sent to destroy and instead staying to love and protect and nurture I'M CRAZY I'M CRAZY RAAAAAAAGGHHHH#gnu terry pratchett
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survival is an act of rebellion. jim loves you SO MUCH. i hope this finds all of us who need it today. please stay alive so we can make it out together. sending so much love and strength
#star trek#star trek fanart#jim kirk#star trek tos#election 2024#mcspirk affirmations#please please please stay alive. survival is an act of rebellion. You are so loved and you are not alone ever#if anyone feels a doodle would be of any help to keeping your mind off things dm me or leave an ask and I'll try my best#you are so incredibly loved and things will get better if we stay alive and keep fighting tooth and nail#they want us gone and i will spite them with every cell in my body#queer
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being vulnerable for a second to use my pooltoy furry oc to convey what recovering from contamination ocd has been like while undergoing hrt.
#being on hrt has been one of the best things to happen to my body#i feel more like myself than i ever had before#and there have been new challenges with my ocd since starting#but my worst day now is so much easier than my worst day before starting!#and my best days are miles better!!!#anyway stay hydrated everyone !#pooltoy furry#pooltoy#my art#ok to rb
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yuuji smiling and sukuna making a face like That did u really think i wouldn't do a panel redraw
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#ryoumen sukuna#fanart#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#jjk 264#yuuji#sukuna#god sukuna's face is so priceless he rly does look like a cat at the vet#AND I MISSED HAPPY YUUJI i would read a compilation of every panel of smiling yuuji in a heartbeat#i also missed pink sukuna :') no context n u can almost pretend we r back in the good old days#anyway i debated adding text 2 this because to me it looks like Let's Take Ibuprofen Together#and since thats Sukuna's Thing (tm) i feel like theres a joke 2 b made there with yuuji saying it 2 him#but i decided against it smtimes simple is best#ok my hand is actually showing signs of overuse im done fr the day i PROMIS E FHFJSFJJ#it's just the meat of the palm pinky side and not the wrist so thats a good sign#ill probably b better tmr . no rest fr the wicked stay strong girl
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All | 2 | more body swap sillies
#sth#amy rose#metal sonic#body swap au#metamy#my art#sth fanart#sonic fanart#sonic au#sth au#I can see Amy trying to flip her quills but only ends up feeling hard-ass metal for a head#she hates it#this is where she invests in many dresses to have any semblance of something flowy#metal sonic underestimates the needs of an organic life to stay alive and sleeps for 12 hours (no plan finished to kill sonic)
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Thinking about DP x DC Jason Todd being a revenant again. Here's my scenario. Jason gets called that by some ghost. He's like "what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" He's heard the term before but he doesn't know any actual lore. He googles it. He scrolls past the Leonardo DiCaprio bear movie. He opens the wiki. Sees the words "animated corpse" and gets a chill diwn his spine. He starts reading the first section.
He closes Wikipedia.
That night he has a nightmare that his family buried him, again, this time with precautions. He wakes up in his own grave, full of stones, too heavy to move, to scream.
#CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS#like reading this section in the context of jason is SO HORRIFYING#the idea of someone knowing it was possible for him to come back. to wake up down there. and wanting to keep him there#stay dead. we want you dead. you're too troublesome alive. you're meant to be down there.#so anyways. jason internalizing all this shit and feeling uncomfortable in his own body because he's thinking of it as a corpse#and of himself as haunting a place he doesn't belong#and then meeting danny and danny says 'wow you're a revenant aren't you! The dead so restless they can't bear to stay in their graves'#and he smiles. 'You're amazing. Your will is so strong'#and the Ghost King tells Jason 'You're alive but that doesn't mean you aren't one of mine. I will come for you'#and batman says 'we will keep you safe from that entity and his threats. you don't belong to him'#and jason says 'he didn't mean i was his possession. he said i was his responsibility. he said he would help me if i ever needed him'#and bruce sees the faraway look in his son's eyes and doesn't know what to say#okay I'm done#for now#dp x dc#dpxdc#revenant jason todd#danny phantom#dc#batfam#jason todd#my rambles#my writing
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based on my experience of getting kicked out of every casino on the strip while having arcade follow me around like a child forced to watch their parent go bankrupt
#i know his dad died when he was a kid i just didnt feel like rewording this#also was gonna draw my oc but just decided to draw generic courier bc.. idk#feels weird posting so much here i must stay unknowable#but felt like tumblr nv fans might appreciate this#also everytime i lost caps i would punch arcade in the face out of anger#sorry mr gannon#fallout new vegas#courier six#arcade gannon#fnv#my art
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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The dog days are over.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#The childhood flashback is one of my favourite scenes in MDZS and yes I am disapointing myself in how little I am covering it.#If it is any consolation...I'll be bringing JYL's piggyback scene into another comic later on.#There truly is something so specific and yet resonant in the way our bonds as children feel so deep.#But the world doesn't stay as small as it does when you are a kid. The problems you argue about get bigger and more serious.#You still hold so much love for this person despite how much you want to throw hands with them.#To have such a complicated history with someone and then fall apart...You always think you have time to heal the wound.#Why wouldn't you! You've never had anything but time with this person. A brother not in blood but in true and genuine bond.#And then the fucker dies! It's horrible and sudden and the last words you exchanged were cold and awful!#What do you do with those dead end feelings? What do you do but grieve bitterly and angrily?#There is no resolution for all the love you wanted back. There will never be an opportunity to bridge the gap between you.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. Because you thought you had more time.#If anyone dares say Jiang Cheng didn't love WWX I'll be the first to fire up the powerpoint presentation on why he absolutely does.
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class swap design masterpost for convenience (from top to bottom: bard!riz, cleric!gorgug, sorcerer!kristen, barbarian!fig, artificer!adaine, and rogue!fabian)
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhfy#fhsy#fhjy#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#my class swap stuff! oh yeah I think I got a tag for that I'll call that#fh class quangle#gna slowly go back and get that tag on relevant posts too. for organization's sake#even tho I didnt really intend this blog to be that kinda blog lmao. we were all just gonna be out here dealin with that at our own pace#anyways uh! they! u know all the lore for the designs already I put em in tags. but otherwise this also collects like the#color keys kind of for these. mostly the things that change between designs#doing this did make me realise half of these are a Lot more consistent in color keys than the other half lol#like kristen's palette stays pretty much the same. and fabian's. the hit's mostly in the construction#a lot of this is overall like an exercise in remembering what high schoolers would actually wear and how to work in Costume pieces#on this point at least I straight up have No relevant recollection lmao all the basic education establishments I went to have uniforms#and outside of school I was. well kind of a shorts and tee guy. so#on that topic I feel like fabian's is the furthest stretch lmao. like if a guy in high school wears the same bright yellow raincoat#to school every day that's like. people would Not like that guy. fabian really is saved by being cute and a rogue#he will still have stans when he's deep in his fishing arc in junior year he's the manic pixie dream bf#anyways uh. things to do! stuff to get done. sleep first tho. have a good night lads#I have not caught new nsbu yet! seems I mostly catch them like two to three days late nowadays.#so please uhh. don't reply on my posts with nsbu spoilers? we are all excited and having fun but that's rude#ok thank u. signing off for the day have a good night#!!
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this is the first time back at my computer since my back injury 3 months ago and i had a hankering for some isabela 💙🗡
#girl. im in so much pain#i hope this gets better with time. these last few months have taken such a mental and physical toll on me#honestly been not feeling good about my art too but im trying sooo hard to stay positive OTL#isabela my lovely save me!!!!!!#isabela#dragon age 2#dragon age#da2#my art#art
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One Monkey Fanatic and Another In The Making 📖
Someone requested Dad Tang and I couldn’t say no… their bond is so special to me
Eat up lmaooo
#lmk tang#lmk mk#baby mk#lmk fanart#do they have a duo name#I need to know#jttw#lmk#lego monkie kid#young tang#lmk baby mk#my art#dad tang#Tang is very happy to have a captive audience to infodump about his special interest#I’m sure they will just stay stories#I need to draw present Dad Tang and MK angst because I’ve been thinking about Mk seeing him less as a farther figure as he grew up#it makes me feel so evil
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