#I started this with purchasing intent thinking I could just make a cute little reference list and tick them off

[spinetacks]

beautiful meticulously created and kept spreadsheet of darby matches vs handwritten list of bucks dvds that I started tearing my hair out over when I realised how long it was going to be and I should have also made it as a spreadsheet (I am less than halfway through cataloging them, I think in the end only 2-3 years will fit per page 🫥)

[spiderhanzzz]

"I'M FUCKING SPIDERMAN, BABY" — han jisung.

who would've guessed that the guy you've been texting on tinder is spiderman?

word count: 2.7k

pairings: spiderman!han x journalist intern!reader

genres: humor, fluff, slight angst, comfort, kind of fake dating???

warnings: swearing, drinking, han is referred to as peter, reader and han are both uni students, mentions of vomit and violence, mild injuries, lowkey blackmailing if u squint, no use of y/n & gender neutral reader, han calls reader "pretty" once, usage of "baby" and "sweetie" too

playlist: les childish gambino, dare gorillaz, novacane frank ocean, i bet you look good on the dancefloor arctic monkeys, making the bed olivia rodrigo

a/n: my first fic raaahh!!! >:3 so so excited for u 2 read all these crazy ideas swirling inside my head

“...whoever provides the information on Spider-Man’s real identity will receive a cash prize of $1,000 US dollars…”

Your gaze bores to the glow of your old crappy TV. You haven’t had the time nor funds to purchase a new one, given that your only employment at the moment is a journalistic internship. It’s a good agency, the same one reporting on screen right now, and you acknowledge how hard you had worked to get the position. Nevertheless, you wish you prioritized financial gain over prestige, because now you’re stuck in your run-down apartment in New York, investigating the biggest issues for no money at all.

So you guess it’s not that big of a deal that you have no leads on who the hell Spider-Man is. If any higher-ups scold you, you could just hit them with those snarky remarks you’ve kept in the back of your mind all this time. How do you expect incentive from me if you’re not even paying me? I’m writing all your scripts because everyone else is a damn deadbeat! Maybe then they’ll start appreciating you.

You released a heavy sigh. All this nonsense is giving you a permanent headache, and it doesn’t help that you spend most of your free time scrolling mindlessly on your phone, which lights up with a new text notification the moment you start thinking about it. Perhaps you’ve spent so much time on your phone it’s becoming a part of your brain?

Peter Han: hahah tbh im pretty busy this week, but i’ll let u know for sure :)

A light shade of embarrassment tints your face when you catch yourself smiling at the text message. Usually Peter— the cute guy you’ve been texting on Tinder— never uses any emoticons. In fact, he’s been acting pretty uninterested and dry with you, which wouldn’t bother you as much if it weren’t for the fact that you desperately need a date to your friend’s birthday party next week.

Despite your humiliatingly destitute lifestyle, you pride yourself for your unmatched abilities to blend into any crowd. So like any other New Yorker, you decided to surround yourself with upper class Manhattan socialites. They like you; they don’t need to know about your financial status.

But with great power comes great responsibility, and with great social life comes great expectations. Last week it was a certain Kate Spade wallet with the intentions to match with the whole group of girls, and the week before it was table manners at a European restaurant (how in the hell were you supposed to know which fork to use for a crème brûlée?) This week, though, they gave you the most impossible task of all: get a date.

And you would. Truly, you would. It’s not like you’re particularly unattractive or unlikeable or anything like that. It’s just that you haven’t dipped your toes into the dating pool since university started, and you’re too far gone now. Your peers are fluent in these unspoken rules of dating and you don’t even really know what a situationship is.

Thus why you’re acting a little bit too desperate with Peter.

As you draft a response to him— is it better to use two or three y’s in hey?— your train of thoughts are interrupted by a loud thud on your balcony, followed by a shadow of vibrant colours. Your couch is situated safely so you can see right out the window, but angled in a way that someone outside wouldn’t be able to see you inside. You found this hack on social media on a particularly paranoid rush of nerves and thanked whoever that person was every single night.

Hesitating for a minute, you consider your options: a) attempt to fight off whoever is in your building, b) run out and alert security, or b) pretend like you didn’t hear anything and pray you don’t see your own face on TV tomorrow instead of Spider-Man’s.

If you were acting rational you would have chosen the last option. After all, it’s New York— if there’s anything prevalent here, it’s crime. But you are just so fucking bored. 

So you grab a baseball bat and swing open the window. 

“Get the hell off my balcony, dude!”

To your surprise, you stand face to face with a pair of dangling Converse All-Stars (really dirty ones, too). In your spur of confusion you come to the conclusion that whoever is sitting above your flat has the ugliest red socks you’ve ever seen in your life.

“What the fuck, man?” The person exclaims. “You bruised my knee!”

“That sounds about right for messing with my place, no?” You say, stepping out onto the balcony to get a good look at the stranger.

Just when you think you couldn’t get more disoriented, you realize the man you’re looking up to is not a stranger at all. It’s none other than Peter Han, in a full on Spider-Man suit.

“Peter…?”

The stranger, AKA Peter, breathes out a nervous laugh, raking his hand through his messy hair. Cute, you think.

“I think you mistook me for someone else. I’m not Peter.”

“Okay…” You say dubiously. “Why are you wearing a Spider-Man suit then?”

“I’m a… uh… cosplayer?”

When his eyes meet yours, the truth sings: he’s been caught. Peter Han is Spider-Man.

He’s terrified, you can tell. You don’t blame him— you would be too in his position. But it’s not just the fact that you know now; it’s also the mischievous glint twinkling in your eyes. Just what the hell are you thinking about that could be so amusing right now?

“W-what’s that look for?”

You can’t hold it in anymore. Maniacal laughter bursts out of you like you’ve been possessed by the spirit of a circus clown, and you have to hold on to the balcony railing to stop yourself from falling over. “Oh, Peter, you naive little fool.”

Peter’s brows furrow in confusion. You mentally curse yourself for admiring how handsome he looks when he doesn’t know what’s going on.

“Didn’t I tell you? I’m on the case to find out Spider-Man’s identity. Well, your identity, I guess.”

“You did not tell me that.”

“Yes, I did.” You cross your arms over your chest, shooting him a judgemental look. “You’d know that if you paid any attention to what I have to say.”

“Look, listen…” Peter braces his lean arms on the side of the window to lower himself on your balcony. Standing face to face, you note that he’s not as tall as you thought. “I know I haven’t been the warmest person to you, but I would literally get on my knees and beg for you to please not tell anyone about this.”

You hum in amusement, taking a step closer to him and raising your chin with undoubted sanguine. Like this, you’re almost the same height as him. “As tempting as that sounds, I’d rather have you doing something else for me.”

Peter chuckles in disbelief, eyes wandering to the sky as if to ask God what have I done to deserve this absolute nonsense? His palms rest upon your shoulders when he looks you dead in the eye and says, “You are not blackmailing me, sweetie.”

“That’s a lot of confidence for someone who has very blackmail-able secrets.”

“That’s not even a word!”

“Whatever.” You peel away his hands from your shoulders, straightening your posture and pulling your shoulders back. Peter faces you with a puzzled gaze as you offer him your hand, clearing your throat and stating, “Peter Han, I would like to make a deal with you.”

He doesn’t move. “And that is…?”

“Date me.” Seeing his face contort into an even deeper state of befuddlement, you follow up with elaboration. “One date to a party next week, and just a few meet-ups and texts to prove that our relationship is going strong. In return, I’ll pretend this whole exchange never happened.”

You’re both silent for what feels like hours, eyes fighting a silent mental battle, until Peter’s rough palms finally envelop your own. You’re aware of how crazy and delusional you sound, but you swear he pulls you in just a little bit closer.

“Deal.”

It’s your third year in the city, and you’re still not fully familiarized with the parties. Contrary to your expectations of drunk sweaty bodies dancing up on each other, your friends’ definition of parties consists of low warm lighting embracing their glittered luxury brand dresses as they swirl their fancy little martinis and cosmopolitans. You appreciate it, really, since you don’t have to use up your voice every other night just to shout over the deafening electronic music. However it’s much harder to appreciate the pressure it puts on you to behave a certain way— dance like nobody’s watching, but be aware that they are.

As you slowly walk to approach your friends (rule #32: no running in public spaces, you’ll look like an idiot) you feel a large hand brush softly against your waist. You turn to face your date for the night, warmth creeping up your cheeks as you take in his appearance. The only suit he’s wearing now is an all-black tuxedo with no tie, the first three buttons of his shirt opened. His black hair is brushed down smoothly, pieces of it falling just right to frame his glowing face.

“You clean up well,” you remark, circling your arm in his as you guide him towards the bar where your friends are sitting.

“I could say the same to you, pretty.” With the sleek black shoes he’s wearing, he’s a few inches taller. Slightly looking down on you, he gives you a subtle wink.

God, he’s such a heartthrob.

Your friends round up to give you hugs and kisses to welcome your presence, ever so politely. One of them acknowledges Peter’s companionship. “You must be the date.”

“That I am.” Peter returns the approach, showing off his adorably heart-shaped smile. “Peter Han, pleasure to meet you.”

The rest of the night runs as it does in your dreams the night before. By the time you had arrived, your friends were already buzzed enough to pay no mind to the way the leather is peeling off your only pair of formal shoes nor to the typo on your fake branded bag. Just the way it’s supposed to be.

Peter doesn’t leave your side the entire night, only lifting his arm around your waist to grab more drinks for the both of you. Occasionally you catch him absentmindedly rubbing your back, and occasionally you catch yourself wondering how someone who spends so much of his life fighting can be this gentle.

During a small bathroom break, one of your friends pulls you aside and whispers, “He looks at you like you hung the stars, you know.”

If you weren’t so swept up in the feeling of finally belonging under the subtle incandescence of a high-end bar in Manhattan, you would have noticed the way Peter’s eyes darken when he read a notification off his phone, or the way his lips press into a tight line when he gazes at you, laughing your heart away amongst your friends.

So you’re nothing short of confounded when he wraps his arms around your waist and leans down to mumble, “Baby, I have to go, there’s a work emergency. I’ll catch you later, alright?”

Your friends bid him farewell and you press a chaste kiss to his cheek, immediately turning away when you feel his body tense. When he walks out the door, you keep your eyes focused on how his soft hair loses its shimmer as he walks out into the night.

And you try to enjoy the warm liquid pouring down your throat for the fifth time tonight, savoring the way you can almost taste a bit of yourself pull away from reality each time, knowing at least one of the people around you will walk away tonight asking, “don’t you think that Peter is a bit cold?”

You sit on the edge of your balcony, something you never do unless you’re going through an existential crisis or drunk off your ass. Tonight it’s both. As usual, the distant sirens and exclamations of curses wrap a tight band around your head. You’re dizzy; either from the alcohol or situation or both.

The ocean of fluorescent lights from the streets of Queens drift your mind to recall just how you ended up here. Three years ago, you were a fresh high school graduate with a million opportunities in front of you. Now you’re broke and rely too much on the validation of your non-broke friends to fulfill the void inside you. The thought of eventually having nobody but yourself after you graduate makes you wanna vomit on a passerby’s head.

“Hey, baby.” A particularly resonant voice startles you out of your thoughts. Peter is swinging from your balcony railing, a pair of gray sweatpants and zip-up jacket slung over his Spider-Man suit. “Sorry for ditching early. I got pizza and flowers to make it up to you, though.”

He swings himself to sit down next to you, placing the box of pizza and bouquet in front of your crossed legs. When he pulls his mask over his head to remove it, your eyes glance over his cuts and bruises. They definitely weren’t there earlier.

“What happened?” You unconsciously bring a hand up to his face, brushing your knuckles tenderly over the sensitive areas. It’s only when he winces that you drop your hand back down to your lap.

“Some guy tried to rob a bank.” Peter shrugged, refusing to meet your gaze. “Turns out he brought a bunch of other guys to back him up.”

“Did you win, at least?”

Though his face is turned down, you can see Peter’s eyes crinkle into a smile underneath his tousled hair. “Yeah, ‘course I did. Who do you think I am, a loser? I’m fucking Spider-Man, baby.”

Ten minutes later you’re seated face to face, still on your balcony, with you dabbing a cotton pad onto his injuries. No words were exchanged; you just went in and out to grab your emergency medical kit and grabbed him by the chin. The pizza box is left unattended, but neither of you care much about the hunger puncturing your insides.

“Why do you look so down?” Peter inquires as you place a Hello Kitty bandaid on his cheekbone, giggling breathlessly as you do so.

“Do I?”

“Yeah.” He brings his own hand up to your face, brushing away the strands of your hair on your forehead. “I mean, you’re smiling now, but your eyes have this sadness to them. So, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

What the actual fuck? It literally takes you every nerve in your body to fight the urge to propose to this man right then and there.

“Hey, come on,” he urges, delicately pulling your face an inch closer to his. His thumbs run down your flushed cheeks, and it takes you a while to notice he’s brushing away your tears. “I said talk to me.”

“Well, you’ve probably already noticed that I’m different from my friends.” You wrap your fingers around his wrists. “I guess I thought I could pull off the whole socialite act, but I’m starting to feel so…”

When you can’t find the words, Peter finds them for you. “Lost?”

He presses his forehead to yours as you nod softly. “This might not be the best time, but I think you’re a star.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning you shine the brightest amongst everyone else’s shadow. And your friends probably see you that way too. Also that I really, really want to take you out on a real date.”

“You were right, it’s terrible timing.” You fake pout, pretending as if your heart didn’t skip a beat at his words.

“Sorry, sorry!” Peter laughs, setting distance between the two of you once again. There is no inclination to pull him back, though; the space devoid of someone else finally feels comfortable.

“My answer is yes, by the way, you can take me out on a real date. Unfortunately no blackmail this time, though, I think I'm gonna quit that dumb internship.”

Both of you share a fit of affectionate laughter. The temperate scent of food merges with that of the flowers and caresses your senses as Peter opens the box of pizza. “If they ever make fun of you for not being rich, we can always stage one of them as Spider-Man. We'll even get $1,000 from it, then you'll actually be rich."

“I’ll take you up on that offer, Spidey.”

[skellebonez]

Since it's been a while since I prompted you, 38/51 for Traffic Light Trio and Spicynoodleshipping?

It’s also been a while since you... sent this... I am getting through my prompts slowly but surely! Hopefully the wait was worth it, it has been a while since I have written TLT or SpicyNoodles alone so this was really enjoyable! I apparently missed this more than I realized as this is quite long! (There are references to a past fill as well, but this can be read stand alone.)

If you move from that spot, so help me, I will tie you down/Can you two save the kissing for later?

“For the love of- stop trying to get up Noodle-Brain!” Red Son snapped, albeit more with exasperated worry than anger this time. “You’re only going to make it worse!”

“No, really, I’m fine!” Xiaotian insisted, moving to once again attempt to stand.

He was not fine and his face soon came into contact with an impromptu date with Red Son’s open palm, catching him before he landed on the floor instead. Normally Xiaotian would have pulled his face back with a muttered "sorry" or "thanks" or "wow Red that was shockingly nice of you".

Instead he groaned and allowed himself to just kind of... hang there, his weight being held by that palm that probably felt oddly normal temperatured to him at the moment. Understandable given that his face was flushed red and that even to Red's naturally warmer body temperature touch he felt overheated in fever.

This was not quite the sight Red Son had expected to see when he had ventured out into the city on his own, just wanting to have some kind of time away from his work to gather his thoughts about... well, a lot of things. Ever since the entire fiasco with the Lunar New Year festival his mind had been wandering back toward when he worked with Xiaotian and Xiaojiao and things that happened afterwards.

He still had the phone he had accidentally kept from the green dragon and they had talked a few times. More than a few times. ... ok, maybe they had been texting near daily and had calls every other night and maybe he started watching her streams out of curiosity, and maybe he had been added to a group chat with the Noodle Boy and started to text him too, but he didn't really have anyone else to talk to outside of the his parents and Bull Clones! They were still enemies, just friendly ones! Frenemies! And it had been... nice. To talk to someone who seemed interested in what he wanted to say. And maybe understood him a little. Maybe possibly... didn't actually dislike him as much as he had believed initially.

... and maybe Red Son was deluding himself when he said he didn't actually like either of them, but that was neither here nor there! His thoughts were getting away from him!

The point was thus- he'd gone into the city for a break with the intention of heading to his private apartment he had for such occasions, happened upon one Noodle Boy laying face down on the seat of his (otherwise empty and clearly not being used for work that day) delivery vehicle looking absolutely miserable and burning up, and against his better judgment he took him back to said apartment. That was shockingly easy considering Xiaotian was pretty much passed out due to the high fever combined with his moving around and the fact Red Son could lift the vehicle himself if he wanted to (he didn't, he just took the keys with them so no one would make off with it).

And so that was how Red Son found himself in this predicament. In his apartment with the AC on just enough to be slightly uncomfortable, one sick Monkie Kid doing his best to remove himself from his couch with a cold compress on his forehead while insisting he was fine when he clearly was not, debating on whether or not he should have taken this dumbass to the hospital instead. If only because he was being frustrating to keep still.

"You are most clearly not 'fine', now lay back down," Red Son said with a warning growl, pushing his rival (gently, he wouldn't be so callous as to kick someone while they were down like this) back into the mound of pillows he had laid out for him. He never had visitors so he may as well make the best of this and pull out what he had in storage so they could be used for once. "If you move from that spot, so help me, I will tie you down."

"... ok," Xiaotian finally acquiesced, closing his eyes and laying back into the plush around him and looking even worse than he had before he had been trying to convince the other he was fine. (Though had he not looked clearly sick the sight would have been almost cute to-NO! Red was not going to think that.)

Red Son didn't know what precisely was wrong with him, though based on his symptoms and reactions it was likely a basic but now out of control flu (regardless, he knew he himself was in little to no danger of most human illnesses) and helping him recuperate here (because no one except Red Son was allowed to defeat the Monkie Kid, not even an illness!) was looking like a more reasonable idea now. But he couldn't help but wonder how had the other man allowed himself to get this bad. Why had he even gone outside in his state? He wasn't working, his lack of normal uniform or delivery orders was evidence enough of that, so it wasn't as if he had been forced to go out by his boss. Was he just too stubborn? Did he think he would be ok for a few minutes and not realize he was this ill? The delivery boy was of no help in that regard, brushing off every attempt from the fire demon to learn the answers to those questions. He wasn't delirious, he just refused to answer!

So instead of trying to push again Red Son sighed and stood up. When Xiaotian opened his eyes to look at him in curiosity he frowned at the deep dark bags under them (had he ever been sleeping?) and the dull sheen they seemed to have before he held his hand up in a "stop" motion.

"You stay right there. I meant that threat. I am going to be back in 10 minutes. Do not test me..." Red stood, lifting both his arms for a moment before giving the other another glance. "And don't, uh... die, I guess."

And then Red was gone in a wave of his arms and a flash of fire.

~

He landed at the entrance to a nearby convenience store, not somewhere one would normally think he would frequent but convenience was convenience. And they had very good coffee to grab when he ran out in his apartment. Yes, he was a Villain with a capital V and could just torment the staff for free goods... but he knew that if he did that long enough the stores would start causing him trouble or close down and that would negate the convenience.

No, it wasn't because the first cashier that greeted him was willing to pay for his goods believing he had forgotten his wallet and thus felt guilty for his first attempt at doing so. And he would deny that until the day he died.

That wasn't his goal for the day, however. Red Son may not get ill the way humans did, but it felt useful to him to know how how to treat the more common ailments in the event his family may be forced to work with one. So he grabbed a basket and made a quick beeline straight for the nearest aisle with medicine.

In even less than the 10 minutes he cited he had a basket filled with flu medicine, more cold compresses, soup broth, and much more. Yes, all of this was absolutely necessary. He didn't care that much about his nemesis, he just wouldn't let an illness make him weak. Nope. That was the only reason. Nothing else. He totally wasn't caring for someone he considered a friend, he didn't have friends, not even Xiaojiao was a-

"Red?"

Crap.

"What are you doing standing in line at a convenience store?" Xiaojiao asked, and as Red turned back to her he saw that she had... some very similar items in her own basket, plus some comics. At his eyes widened in realization she looked down at his own basket and sighed. "... either this is a very interesting coincidence or Xiaotian did something he shouldn't have."

~

Red entered his apartment through the door, the noise rousing the apparently lightly sleeping man on his couch.

"Red? You're back alrea-!?" Xiaotian snapped his mouth shut as he turned his head and opened his eyes to see the wide smiling face of a, clearly to someone who knew her well, angry Xiaojiao. "... I'm in trouble aren't I?"

"Oh you have no idea," she replied lightly, setting down the snacks and books and other assorted items she had purchased while Red made his way into the kitchen with his purchases. "I told you I would be at your apartment with stuff after I finished covering your shift for you, so would you like to explain why Red Son found you nearly passed out in your tuk-tuk half way to the nearest store?"

Though her words were sharp and snappy, it was clear to the listening Red that they were so in genuine concern for her friend. There was a mutter from Xiaotian and a questioning sound from Xiaojiao before the man cleared his throat and repeated himself.

"You already helped me out... I just wanted to try to get that stuff myself so you wouldn't have to do more. I was feeling pretty ok until I drove for a while..."

Ah. So that explained it. Xiaotian had just been going out for medication himself. Not the best idea with a fever of his magnitude, but understandable if he believed he could handle something that simple. Red had begun to wonder if he had been trying to head to Flower Fruit Mountain with bow evasive he was being, but this was a much less disastrous answer.

"Xiaotian, you're my best friend," he heard Xiaojiao say in a much softer tone, and there was the sound of the shuffling on the couch. "I wanted to help you, it didn't matter to me how much it was. I've helped you get to Flower Fruit Mountain and kick demon ass! A delivery shift or two and a convenience store run is something I'd do in a heartbeat. Now open your mouth, I grabbed a thermometer so we can see how bad off you actually are."

There was an agreeable sound and a chuckle, then silence as Red continued what he had been doing. Taking out a dose of medication and preparing something for Xiaotian to eat. Or, rather, drink along side the tea he was also preparing for himself and Xiaojiao. It was little more than chunks of tofu and soup broth with some mild flavoring, something simple and easy to make and eat while sick and-

Red Son held his face in his hands and groaned softly as he waited for the broth to warm. What was he doing? His greatest enemies were in his living room, one sick with fever, and he was preparing medicine and food for him. Frenemies? Only he could defeat them? Is that really what he was telling himself to justify his actions? That they were friend-enemies and they were his to beat?

That was a bold faced lie and he knew it. Had known it for a while. Maybe since he first called Xiaojiao just to speak with someone who would listen to him. Maybe since he first watched her stream in curiosity. Certainly, though, since he accepted being added to the group text she had named "Traffic Light Trio" (really? What kind of name that that?). He would have never done that had he not considered them his friends, he knew that deep down. He just didn't want to admit it (and he super did not want to admit that he maybe felt his own face warm up when they complimented him or that he had butterflies in his stomach the off times they called him by nicknames).

As he turned off the now lightly boiling broth and set it to the side to cool, Red Son began to admit to himself that maybe he was just as much of a dumbass as the Noodle Boy. It seemed that out of the three of them Xiaojiao had firm hold on the only available brain cells when it came to interpersonal relationships.

But that train of thought was not helpful at the moment, so he pushed it down (deeeeeeep down) as he gathered everything up and made his way to the couch again.

The sight that greeted him gave him pause Xiaojiao sitting on the arm of the couch and running a hairbrush through Xiaotian's tangled hair, Xiaotian looking slightly better thanks to the compress against his forehead and smiling softly against the pillows.

There were those butterflies. Oh. Red Son had it bad.

"So?" He asked, drawing their attention to himself as he sat everything on the nearby table. "How bad is it?"

"Not enough to take him to a doctor yet," Xiaojiao answered with a chuckle as she hopped down. "Though I think what you did before helped with that."

Red flushed a bit himself in response, grumbling under his breathe as he shoved the medicine and a cup of water into Xiaotian's hands. "WELL. Take this and. Maybe it’ll stay that way!" He attempted to sound as snappy as normal but the looks on both his guests faces told him he failed miserably in that regard.

"Thanks, Red," Xiaotian said with an earnest smile, and the butterflies were back and Red Son couldn't help the slight sparking of his hair in response.

"Don't mention it. Ever." He grumbled a bit, taking the cup before sighing and helping Xiaotian sit up straighter. "You shouldn't eat half laying down." He maneuvered the pillows to make a little wall between Xiaotian and a space next to the arm of the couch. A space he quickly occupied himself before handing him the bowl of broth over his shoulder. "So you don't have to move more."

The other two looked at each other with surprise on their faces before Xiaojiao smiled and sat on the other arm as they grew silent. Xiaotian eating, Xiaojiao playing on her phone, and Red... well. He tried to look like he was doing something on "his" phone, the one he took from Xiaojiao and replaced the old case with a showy flame covered one. But in reality he was just sitting there staring into space thinking "holy crap this is happening what have I done what happens next oh crap".

"Hey Red?"

"YES!?" He asked far too loud and quick with a squeak in his voice as his hair flared at Xiaotian's words, clearing his throat before repeating himself in a much more appropriate tone (only to earn a giggle from Xiaojiao).

He felt the other man lean back against him, and before he could even begin to fight his flush on his face he heard him chuckle as well. "I appreciate your help."

"L-like I said... don't mention it..."

Xiaotian chuckled again in reply and sighed, leaning completely against Red Son and as he looked over and down he saw his relaxed face and flushed deeper and... it felt nice.

He wondered why he ever pushed down his feelings before.

Xiaojiao grabbed the dishes with a knowing smirk, heading into the kitchen with a few parting words.

"Can you two save the kissing for later? Maybe when Xiaotian isn't sick?"

Both men flushed as deep as they could and sputtered out denials in response, and if that wasn't an indication that Xiaotian maybe felt similarly to Red as Red did to him...

[something-very-special]

they ran over the seals

More Replicant playthrough observations and general nonsense under the cut. For reference, up to the keystone quest; completed the Forest of Myth and Junk Heap.

This fucking game I swear to god.

A vaguely coherent ramble about sidequests An observation about sidequests in general in this game -- and I don't recall if I ever voiced this somewhere public or it was just a personal observation from my time with the original -- is that the quests in the first half of the game are all relatively easy to complete. There's that one asshat who wants 10 goat hides, but other than him, most of the sidequests are either very much based on finding characters, or gathering a sensible number of items that are either relatively common, purchasable, or given a guaranteed spawn for the duration of that quest.

The sidequests everybody remembers having to do are in the second half, where everybody is demanding and awful and I'm sorry ten MACHINE OILS do you know how goddamn rare those are? They're goddamn rare.

(We'll not discuss Life in the Sands.)

This is generally agreed to, in the technical vernacular, 'suck'. And it's always funny that the most interesting sidequests are the ones with very minimal requirements (Yonah's cooking, getting Popola drunk, the Lighthouse Ladoh my god everything's gone blurry I'm not crying you're crying who am I kidding we're both crying). That particular aspect of the design also feels intentional, not really gating your ability to progress the really meaningful or funny sidequests behind an unreasonable number of rare items. The other aspect of the design is that these quests are not meant to be completed in a single playthrough; most of them are single-stage and just absolutely unreasonable, but if you're going through the game four times you have a... reasonable chance of getting everything you need more or less naturally.

Nobody does that but I think that was the intended design. I think it's a good idea, although the execution of expectation is flawed so I don't really blame people for saying those sidequests suck. (Although I will in turn blame people for saying the sidequests suck as a blanket statement. Yeah getting that guy who burned his kitchen down a billion Broken Motors is aggravating but did you not find that old man's dog? Speak to Ursula on her death bed? Solve a murder? Then again I think tracking down that rotten son who's trying to get away from The Family Business only to learn his father is a con-artist and get literally no reward is the height of comedy so maybe I'm not the greatest point of reference.)

But that asshole in Facade can get bent. I can't exploit my garden properly, jackass! I am no longer a god of time. (I kid, of course.) (This guys sucks even when you can fix your clock.)

Forest of Myth It didn't even occur to me to wonder how they would incorporate the comprehensive voice acting into the Forest of Myth. I like how it plays out, although I wish the voices maybe had a fade as you went deeper into the dream instead of just cutting out at some point, especially for the lines where the characters are being ascribed actions by the narrator that they themselves aren't doing near the start of the Deathdream. But it's just delightful to go back to it. The second half of the game really sticks in your mind both for emotional reasons and because you play it at least three times per full playthrough of the game, but the first half is just so much fun.

Protip: Talk to everybody after you've finished the dream sidequest. Weiss tries to dissuade you. Don't let him dissuade you. I'm still delighted by the Mayor; "We're building a statue of you, made of solid gold. I know you don't own a horse, but we're going to put you on a horse."

I forgot about Yonah being a disaster chef Papa Nier's reaction to the stew is better. Brother is still funny but Papa Nier just expecting to die is comedy gold.

For anybody curious, the joke about the cakes is that Yonah made 'fruit cake' using some of the worst possible fruits for cake-making. If only she'd thrown a tomato into the mix, too.

Lighthouse Lady Every time. what the fuck is a canal I'm aware of the addition of the new-old content but it didn't occur to me until Popola suddenly starts nattering on about fixing the canal when I'm expecting Yonah to talk about a penpal that oh, yeah, I guess Seafront would have had something going on the first half that would play into the second half? (I assume it does. Be weird to introduce these characters just to have groundwork for an added sidequest. ...but it was a cute sidequest.) But look Popola my boy is supposed to be in the next area I visit could we-- I mean he's on the way could we just-- no-- fiiiiiiiiiine. (It was short and sweet, though, and I appreciate that the couple's love is exemplified by them both calling Weiss a floating magazine in tandem.) On a related note but was I the only person suddenly concerned when the sidequest completion maxed out at 50% and not 51%? I had to double-check with a guide just to make sure, since I've spent the last decade telling people to make sure you hit 51% before going on to Part II.

MY BOY I love that nowadays, Emil is everybody's son. But I really wish I could go find somebody only familiar with Automata and just watch their reaction. (I'm guessing there are streams out there that fulfill this but man I'd love to get it in-person.) If you're only familiar with him from Automata this has to be a mindfuck.

Personal anecdote, but I've had the privilege of playing NIER with somebody else almost every time I've gone through it. I had a wonderful experience of doing a replay some years back with somebody who had experienced it with me before but didn't have the most solid memory of the beginning (and had actually missed the entire weapon's lab the first time through). I get to the boy at the piano introducing himself and the 'Wait, what?' was a thing of beauty.

MY ANDROID This was a welcome mindfuck for me; finding Sebastian and having him 'reactivate' in such an unnatural, mechanical way. I don't recall if it was ever officially confirmed that Sebastian is an android (I know that it's just understood that this is the case but I'm not I can't recall a specific one) but the little flair they added to his animation caught me completely off guard. I liked it!

Destroying the food source A lot of people will cite a major inciting incident for the game as being when the protagonist heading back into the village and killing the child Shades just outside the entrance. This moment is such a great bit of subtle foreshadowing that's so easy to miss... but kind of joining that, just before the Knave of Hearts attacks, I realized that the Shades out on the Northern Plains are clearly ramping up for an assault of their own by murdering the sheep. The sheep population at this point is decimated (which is great when you realize you haven't gotten the Sheepslayer trophy and you're about to enter Part II and you don't know if the boar drifting minigame got carried forward with the inclusion of 15 Nightmares). You go out onto the Plains and you will find not only small clusters of sheep left behind instead of the vast, terrifying herds from the start of the game, but until you get their attention the Shades are prioritizing killing the sheep. (Also annoying because that doesn't count toward my sheep murder number.) The Shades will be out there also killing sheep earlier on, but since the whole map is in Overcast mode after talking to Yonah it's especially prevalent to go out to the Northern Plains and seeing the slaughter. And I realized-- they're cutting the Village off from a primary food source. Shades don't eat and they don't have any beef with the local ungulates (at least, no more so than anybody else does), so why are they hunting down the sheep? To deprive their enemies of resources. Sheep are extinct by the timeskip. It's actually really clever of them, and a really clever indication of their sentience and intelligence before it's fully verified.

"Let's get these shit-hogs!" Everything about the way Kaine and Emil interact across the entire game is perfect I will brook no argument this is objective fact.

Emotive Rectangles I wrote an essay about this before but it really bears repeating that the job the original animators did with this scene is just phenomenal. The way Weiss drifts, flits, flips, fans his pages, drunkenly swerves, shoots around the room in defiance... He's a goddamn rectangle, but there is so much emotion and personality in this scene just based on the movements conveyed through a what is effectively just a box. Ten years later and triple-A titles with full facial capture don't have this much seething personality. I really have to give props to the cavia animators, wherever they wound up. That studio could really put some subtle love and care into their titles, utterly unnecessary and easy to miss but you can tell that whoever was working on it was giving it their all. The books are probably the exemplification of this, but every time I go into Seafront and visit the seals I can tell that the guy on seal duty was having just the best day. They made Emil so pretty There's an FMV cutscene right smack in the middle of the original game after the battle against Noir. I understand why it was a necessity on a technical level, but it always looked pretty out of place and a little uncanny valley compared to the rest of the graphical fidelity. That's no longer a necessity so this cutscene is rendered in-engine. I admit I was actually curious to see it redone this way and it looks fantastic. I single out Emil since he is the focal point of cutscene and because his particular high-poly model had some pretty weird difference from his in-engine model, but he and Kaine both look great. But, like, it's almost mean how pretty he is.

They made Brother Nier so pretty Yeah okay you got me he's kind of hot. Kaine's expression when she wakes up and looks him over is... significantly easier to read now. Good voice, too. (Ancient rumors tell that one of the issues with international releases of RepliCant was that they couldn't find an English VA with a voice that 'fit' Brother Nier. He sounded good out the gate but hearing him growl "Let's go TAKE CARE of those KIDS" during the thief sidequest-- I got chills. It sounds so silly but there's a kind of percolating fury to that delivery. Papa Nier was like frustrated but mostly disappointed dad; I felt like Brother was going to take care of those kids, and nobody was going to find the bodies. Younger Brother Nier just never stops looking goofy to me but Older Brother just looks great in motion, between the alterations they made to the movement and just the entire weaponry system. The distinction between the two halves of the game was always a little odd in the Gestalt version-- not odd enough to really raise eyebrows if you didn't know about RepliCant, but of course you can tell that this age gape between the optimistic doe-eyed dogooder and a man largely ruled by his fury and calloused by tragedy is what the timeskip was going for. Swab me down and call me Ishmael, it works. Younger Brother wasn't quite clicking with me-- not because of any writing or voicework issues, but I've got Papa Nier on the back of my mind and it's impossible not to compare and contrast the delivery and dialogue between the two. I know that this is intentional, too; Younger Brother is supposed to be that happy-go-lucky video game protagonist, always doing the right thing and helping people, in order to contrast against the man he becomes. Even just edging into Part II the effect is dramatic and it recontextualizes Younger Brother into a much more effective overall character. And let me reiterate, I enjoyed my time with Younger Brother just fine, I have no issues with him. But he's up against Well Meaning Big Dummy Part I Papa Nier. No contest. And I'm excited to see where Older Brother goes from here.

Speaking of voices I mentioned this before but the delivery on the character's lines is different. The entire game was re-recorded and quite a few lines are still pretty similar to the original, but there are some that are... definitely different. Part of this is a difference in the relationship between characters based on their life experience and ages-- Weiss is much more of an ass to Younger Brother but has a much more even respect for Older Brother (neither of which are like the rapport he established with Father). Some of Kaine's lines feel more aloof, dismissive, and almost tired in the front half of the game. I haven't really gotten to a point to dig into Emil's rapport with the other characters, but the delivery feels more hesitant and uncertain (which I think is more in line with his Japanese VO, but I'm prefacing that on an untrained ear and a presumption rather than recent memory). It's been interesting to see not just where hey adjusted dialogue (and how-- there are some lines that didn't need to be rewritten), but also how they adjust tone and delivery. Dealing with Younger Brother is one thing, but as I said, I'm very excited to see what's different in the second half, especially being much more familiar with that part of the game. Speaking of Voices! Halua got dialogue! I... preferred when it was inferred (and the implications of "I'll always be watching over you" are borderline malicious given the results of their fusion dance, yeah THANK YOU HALUA this is GREAT). Halua's delivery also felt a little too innocent and upbeat both for the situation and when compared to her narrative voice in The Stone Flower, where she comes across as much more cynical and cold. But given what she's been through and the nightmare she's finally escaping I guess she's allowed express happiness. She's certainly earned the right to having a spoken line. No matter what. Every fuckin' time.

"Here we go." This was always a great line to kind of ease in to the officially-official start of Part II-- every time you start up a New Game+ you're greeted with Emil musing about his conflation of Halua to Kaine, and then the phrase "Here we go". There's a lot in that one line. On a personal level he's grounding his thoughts in the moment and steeling himself for what comes next and pushing through his pain and sadness and fear. Whatever Nier told him in the facility he's still terrified, desperately terrified, that Kaine -- who was the one who told him his life had meaning -- is going to reject him. And why wouldn't she? Ultimately they don't know each other, not really. He understands at that moment that his relationship with Kaine is based on confused memories of his sister, that maybe the bond he thought they established isn't actually real. As soon as he frees Kaine he's going to have to confront her, like this, and how could she ever-- she won't-- but he can't just leave her. Whatever happens next. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. (God it matters.) "Here we go." On a meta level, that's our introduction into the second half of the game. The first half is all prologue. This is where we'll be spending the rest of our time, even to the point that 'New Game+' skips straight ahead to this moment. Now that we've finished the establishment, this is where it all builds and where it all matters. Here we go, audience. The ride starts now. You get up to this point now in Replicant. You get the same lead-in. My dumb ass even whispered "Here we go", because I can't help myself. And he says, of course he says--! "Anyway." ... ...a-anyway? What the hell kind of line is that? "Here's some deeply personal musings that are also an indication of my own discomfort as I babble to myself just to fill the void so I can stave off thinking for just a few more seconds. ANYWAY." What a... bizarre decision. Just bizarre.

Upgraded melee combat The introduction to the armored Shades always feel kind of rough-- the defenses on those Shades are significantly higher than anything you've faced and the new weapons you're given to combat them just aren't that good. (If you got lucky you could have a fully-upgraded Faith by now, which is nearly three times as powerful as the 'heavy' two-handed sword you're given; if you downloaded the 4 YoRHa pack for Replicant you've probably been able to upgrade one of those weapons once, which are also a really nice strength boost that leaves the freebie heavy swords and spears in the dust). As an introduction to the new weapon types it always feels like rough going. But then you get a chance to get decent weapons and the combat system truly opens up, and compared to the first game you really feel it. At this juncture I would always just bustle off to Facade and grab the Phoenix Spear and never look back-- the raw power compared to the rest of your arsenal coupled with the triangle dash is basically the bread and butter of the rest of the game. It's not exciting, but it's effective. No more triangle dashing, which was deeply disappointing... but both weapons definitely feel good. I am also somewhat ashamed to admit that it wasn't until now that I realized attacks weren't just about rhythmic input-- you can hold the attacks down to do different charged hits and combos depending on when you execute them in your combo, similar to Automata. I, uh... I felt a bit dumb. But hey, wow, it's a welcome adjustment and it makes all of the weapon types feel equally valuable for different purposes. I never liked using the heavy blades in the original release because they just felt too slow for the damage output they did, even if their 'point' was mostly to sheer off armor (and they definitely felt too slow for use in crowd control). Now they're still heavy and slower, but not to the point that you're basically leaving yourself open just trying to attack. Spears now do crazy sweeping combos and multi-hits. Both of these properties were borrowed from Automata and I find myself prioritizing melee combat and almost forgetting I have magic because honestly it just feels intuitive and fun. I feel like Kaine and Emil might have gotten a power boost as well? Not that I can really confirm this but going into some of the Junk Heap rooms I'd focus on killing a few robots in the corner and then turn around and just see a field of item drops and no more robots. Don't take my word on that, of course, but they felt a little more effective, and a placebo effect is still an effect. "You're staging a protest? That's fun!" Emil. Rebel without a cause. Will not hesitate to kill you if you trespass on his property. (Might explain the statues in the courtyard, actually.) I'll have to double-check this dialogue because I definitely remember more of a melancholia before we get to roasting marshmallows. I think Papa Nier actually offers to talk to/implicitly threaten the villagers to let them in the Village whereas Brother offers to sleep outside with them... which is actually kind of funny. In the former it comes off as Emil and Kaine maybe kinda-sorta not wanting to be allowed in the Village for their own reasons (they're not happy reasons but they're reasons nonetheless) and reassuring Father that no, it's okay, it's fun! The latter is almost telling Brother to stay inside because he'll ruin their sleepover.

(They're absolutely having giggly girl talk about him outside the gates, 100%.) they ran over the seals All I want in Seafront is to enjoy the music and run out to the big beach and hang out with the last living seals and they put a fucking pirate ship on top of them. Oh, wow. Gideon. Wow. OG Nier featured a Gideon that tried to keep himself together and then had fits of mania. You'd be concerned about him during some of the dialogue but generally speaking he came across as... functional. The delivery on all of his lines is now so insanely murder bonkers, like every line he's addressing you like you're already chained to the wall of his serial killer dungeon and it's glorious. I don't know if the distinction between the games is deliberate (in that Gideon in Gestalt was just more even-keeled between his 'rip 'em apart' snarlings and was always just totally nutso in RepliCant) but I do appreciate it. It's a good mirror to Brother Nier's own anger, which only ever seems to be mollified when he's talking to his friends (even kindly accepting sidequests there's a pretty consistent -- not universal, but consistent -- air of barely-bridled frustration). The other characters that Brother encounters are various reflections of himself if things had just been a little different-- Gideon was a representation of the kind of obsessive madness that would have eaten Brother alive if he hadn't had his network of support. Gideon's constant fury and bloodlust even bleeds into him just saying "What can I do for you?" He has no anchor to keep himself sane, nobody to stay human for; he's all mania, all anger, and he only takes any real interest in Brother on his return because he sees an opportunity to act out his vengeance. After defeating Beepy and Kalil he even goes so far as to not only blame Beepy for killing Jakob, but for also killing their mother, which is patently insane but really speaks to how far his justifications and fury have taken him. Papa Nier responds to his anger toward Beepy by basically backing away slowly and saying "Oookay then". Brother, however, actually commiserates; "That's enough. [...] We get it. We really do." This is definitely one of those moments where Brother's context works better than Father's; he absolutely sees himself in Gideon. He completely understands him and sympathizes. He recognizes the madness of his own quest, he sees where it could take him, and there's a resignation when he speaks to Weiss: "Revenge is a fool's errand." "...yeah." Papa Nier has a similar delivery and similarly implies that he understands how terrible his quest is, but there's something decidedly haunting in Brother's sympathy. Also just verifying something on the wiki and this bit of 'Trivia' really jumped at me:

Gideon is the only character to only cause the deaths of other characters. In his case, he caused a platform to crush Jakob and ordered the deaths of P-33 and Kalil, with P-33 surviving.

Metal AF.

[ryqoshay]

Putting on Hairs: Audition Day

Primary Pairing? Trio?: YuuAyu... Setsu? Words: ~4.2k Rating: G, maybe light T for some implications? AU: Theater, Werewolf, Werebeast, Monster, Cryptid, Angel, Demon, Eldrich Horror

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Author’s Note: I’ve no idea how real theaters work, so anything that may be off with the timeline or proper procedure or whatever, I’ll just have to excuse as author ignorance, or handwave away by this theater being different, in many ways. That said, thank you lonelypond for fielding the questions I’ve sent thus far.

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“Ayumu!” A voice called from a few rows up. “Up here! Up here!”

“Yuu-chan?” Ayumu had to consciously keep her own volume down due to her surprise on seeing her girlfriend. “Shhh!” She added, holding a finger to her lips.

Yuu simply chuckled in response as Ayumu moved up the aisle. Well, it wasn’t like the twin-tailed girl was being any louder than the blonde sitting nearby. Ohara, was it? The theater’s patron, or one of them at least.

“I saved you a seat.” Yuu said with a grin as Ayumu reached her.

“Thank you.” Ayumu replied as she sat.

She was pretty sure they both knew the gesture was unnecessary as there were literally hundreds of empty seats, but it was the thought that counted. Ayumu loved that part of Yuu, always seeking little ways to make her feel special, even simple and unnecessary ones.

As for why the seats were empty, it was because this was merely an audition session. The only people in the theater today were cast and crew. And the cast were all up on stage, ready to make their bids for their potential roles. Well, all but the two leads, Yazawa and Nishikino, as they had been brought in specifically for their star power and were also sitting in the house with most of the crew.

Also, not everyone present was theater staff. There was of course, Ohara, the patron, and her driver, Matsuura. And there were the two from the catering company that had brought lunch earlier, Honoka and Rin, who insisted Ayumu refer to them by their given names when she spoke with them during the meal. She wasn’t quite sure why they were still around as they had finished cleaned up a little while back.

“I didn’t expect to see you here, Yuu-chan.” Ayumu whispered as Dia and Umi prepped the future cast for their auditions. “How did you even get in?”

“I told ‘em I was Ayumu’s girlfriend.” Yuu shrugged. “And they obviously figured out what I am, which probably helped. Although speaking of that…” She glanced around quickly, sticking out her tongue a couple times. “I’m pretty sure everyone here is like us. I don’t remember them advertising that they were only hiring monsters, but… oh sorry, supernatural beings.” She corrected.

Ayumu let her grimace relax. She had never liked the term monster as seemed to carry more negative connotations than other similar terms. And while Yuu was usually careful to avoid using the word, so many of their fellow cryptids used it that Ayumu couldn’t really fault her girlfriend for accidentally using it as well from time to time. Of course, that still didn’t mean she had to like it.

“But I don’t think there’s a single full blood human here.” Yuu continued. “And man, what a mix.” She flicked out her tongue again. “I’m getting a bit of everything. There’s gotta be a werewolf among them. And someone with feathers. At least one undead. I’m getting a bit of sea salt, so there’s probably a mermaid or the like. Sulfur, brimstone, so maybe a demon, or other fire creature I suppose, maybe both. And…” her brow furrowed, and she held her tongue out for longer than usual “that’s odd…”

“What’s odd?” Ayumu pressed.

“I don’t know. There’s something… else… here.” She shook her head. “I’ve never smelled anything like it. Heat. Flame. But not like any I’ve ever known… It’s otherworldly, and yet, not unpleasantly so. Huh…”

“Oh, I think they’re starting.”

“Right.” Yuu turned her attention to the stage where a young woman with long brown hair with some tied in a bright red ribbon was about to begin.

If Ayumu remembered right, the young woman’s name was Osaka Shizuku and had graduated alongside Nishikino Maki from Waseda, a prestigious school known for its arts degrees. For her audition, she had chosen to recite and act out a dramatic monologue in English. Ayumu felt like she had heard the lines before, though not on stage. Perhaps a movie? In any case, Shizuku left little doubt as to her skill and training, leaving Ayumu rightfully impressed.

Next up was… Nakasu Kasumi? Ayumu knew she had seen that face before. The young woman had appeared in a handful of television commercials, usually cute things aimed at a certain female demographic. Ayumu had actually purchased a few items promoted by Kasumi. As such, it came as little surprise that Kasumi’s audition resembled one of those cute commercials.

The next few auditions were a bit of a blur for Ayumu. It didn’t help that she was far less familiar with their names and faces.

But then, she stepped onto the stage. A short, raven haired young woman with an aura Ayumu could only describe as passionate. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Yuu sit up straighter as she seemed to sense something about this girl. Like the previous several others, Ayumu wasn’t familiar with this one, but something about her held her attention.

“Yuki Setsuna, was it?” Umi read from her list.

“Yes.” Setsuna confirmed.

“And what do you have for us today?”

“Well, I read the script and really enjoyed one character, so I would like to recite a few of her lines.”

“You’ve already memorized lines from the script?”

“Yes.”

“The script you were just given earlier today?”

“Yes. It was just so~ good. I couldn’t put it down.” Setsuna seemed to be actively holding back her excitement.

“Impressive.”

In a nearby seat, an orange-haired girl bounced a little, seemingly excited by the admission. Perhaps she was the one who had written the script?

“Oh, I may have also added a few lines.” Setsuna admitted. “I believe they fit the character.”

Umi gave a glance toward the orange-haired girl behind her who nodded enthusiastically.

“Very well.” Umi turned back toward the stage. “Carry on.”

Setsuna closed her eyes and took a deep breath before releasing it slowly. When she opened her eyes again, her entire demeanor had changed from restrained excitement to a fiery passion. Even from several rows up, Ayumu felt she could see flames in the young woman’s eyes.

Suddenly, Setsuna struck a dramatic pose. “At last, I have found you, foul beasts!” She practically shouted, pointing to somewhere else on stage.

Ayumu jumped a little in her seat, having not expected the outburst. She heard Yuu giggle quietly beside her.

“It is I, Artemisia Ullrin! Hunter of Horrors by trade and Collector of Cryptids by hobby.” She held her hand to her chest as the belted the lines proudly. “By order of Lady Lycaonian, I am to exterminate the infestation of werebeats suffered by her lands. You are welcome to resist, though I assure you that you shall lose. However!” Setsuna emphasized her lines with exaggerated gestures. “I offer an alternative! Surrender and be added to my collection.”

As melodramatic as the performance was, Ayumu couldn’t deny that it was quite entertaining. She watched in amusement as Setsuna skipped ahead to what she assumed to be a battle scene where she called out attacks like a cheesy hero show for kids. She knew the production was intended to be a little tongue in cheek, but Setsuna seemed intent on not just chewing, but flat out consuming the scenery, happily.

And then, seemingly all too soon, it was over.

“Bravi! Bravi!” Mari cheered, loudly, as she stood up from her seat. “Bravissimi!”

The orange-haired girl joined in standing as well, clapping and laughing. Then Yuu stood, as well several others.

“Thank you, everyone.” Setsuna bowed before standing back up with a beaming smile.

“<Where in the world have you been hiding,> Secchan?” Mari exclaimed in English

“Se-Secchan?” Setsuna blinked.

“Really, you were perfect!” The script writer added. “I love the new lines! I’ll be sure to add them!”

“It would appear you’ve earned a few fans.” Dia spoke next, fairly coolly and calmly, though Ayumu was certain she detected a touch of amusement in her tone. “That will undoubtedly play in your favor when we make our final casting decisions.”

“Thank you.” Setsuna bowed again before moving off stage to allow the next audition to proceed.

“Alright, next we have…”

Whatever else Umi was saying was lost to Ayumu as hands grabbed her shoulders.

“That was amazing!” Yuu did he best to keep her volume down. “That really got my heart racing! Actors are amazing! Theater is amazing! Ooo… I want to meet Setsuna-chan in person now!”

“-chan?!” Ayumu balked.

“I can’t wait to see the production!” Yuu continued as though she hadn’t heard Ayumu. “How long did you say it would take?”

“Well, it’s a musical, so that apparently adds more time.” Ayumu recalled. “I think I remember either Umi or Dia saying they were slotting for twelve weeks before opening night.”

“Twelve weeks?” Yuu visibly deflated a bit. “That’s like three whole months! I don’t think I can wait that long…”

Ayumu chuckled at her girlfriend’s newfound obsession. She’d seen this dozens of times before as Yuu would latch onto and hyper-focus on some new hobby or interest. “Maybe we can find some old clips of plays performed by the other Sonoda or Kurosawa theaters?”

“That’s a great idea, Ayumu!” Yuu’s eyes sparkled like emeralds. “Let’s do that tonight.”

“Alright.” Ayumu nodded in agreement.

Satisfied, Yuu settled back into her seat to watch the ongoing audition.

For her own part, Ayumu found her thoughts drifting. Artemisia? Ullrin? Lady Lycaonian? Mythology was not her strong suit, but it sounded like that wasn’t the case with the script writer either. It was almost as if she had simply Googled something about werewolves and just went with the first result that came up. Also, wasn’t Artemis already a woman? Did her name really need an -ia at the end to make the character female?

Well, the showrunners seemed fine with the ideas and the script writer and at least one of the actors were excited about them. So, who was Ayumu to judge? It wasn’t as if she herself hadn’t been entertained by Setsuna’s performance.

Setsuna… -chan… Ayumu glanced at her girlfriend. She had seen Yuu fawn over fictional woman before, but this was a first time she remembered her doing so over a living, breathing woman. And for some reason, that bothered her. Was she jealous? Ayumu shook her head to clear it of such thoughts. She was probably overthinking things and being insecure. She and Yuu had been happily dating for several years now. She shouldn’t be worrying about losing her at this point… right?

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“Yuu-chan, wait!” Ayumu protested as her girlfriend pulled her through a door clearly marked Employees Only. “We… I mean, you shouldn’t…”

“I just want to meet Setsuna-chan and thank her for the wonderful performance.” Yuu responded, not letting up her pace.

They rounded a corner and…

“Takasaki Yuu-san.” Dia stated solemnly as she stood in the center of the hallway.

“Oh, hi!” Yuu responded cheerfully. “You’re one of the women I met at the front door and decided to let me in. Dia-san, right?”

Dia blinked, obviously not expecting Yuu to skip a level of formality. But Yuu had been like that for the entire time Ayumu had known her. Still, Ayumu winced as she wondered how much trouble they were now in.

“Yes…” Dia confirmed.

“Right. Thank you again for letting me watch the auditions today.” Yuu continued. “They were amazing! My heart was racing pretty much the entire time. Especially with Setsuna-chan’s.”

There she goes again with -chan…

“Yuki-san did indeed give us quite the performance.” Dia agreed. “Anyway, as I was about to say, Takasaki-san, you are not employed here.”

“Nope. Not yet.” Yuu grinned.

“Not yet?” Dia raised an eyebrow.

“This whole experience has been so inspiring that I want to apply to work here.”

Ayumu also raised an eyebrow. That was news to her.

“You wish to become an actor?” Dia inquired.

Yuu shook her head. “No, I don’t really want to be on stage; I’d rather watch from the audience. But I can’t help wanting to support the amazing members of your cast in whatever way I can.”

“I see.”

“I could haul supplies around.” Yuu suggested. “Oh, I’m pretty good with my hands.” She held them out for emphasis. “So maybe I could help assemble sets or props? Ayumu has taught me a thing or two about hair and makeup, so I could definitely help her. Oh, and I worked a while as an editor for my college newspaper, so maybe I could go over the script and help there? And I did some composing for the band and orchestras, and even learned to play a couple instruments, like the piano, so I could help in the pit as well.”

Dia nodded. “I think I am starting to understand. You are essentially a jack of all trades.”

“Master of none.” Yuu confirmed.

“But better than a master of one.” Dia completed.

“Right. I’m no specialist, but I’m pretty good at picking up the basics.”

“Yuu-chan is a fast learner.” Ayumu added.

“I see.” Dia nodded. “Then I would suggest you get a resume in order and send it our way. Uehara-san should have the contact information.”

“Oh, I have that already. I was actually the one who found this place and recommended that Ayumu apply. I probably would have applied as well at that time, but I had a job then.” Yuu shrugged. “But they decided they needed to cut costs, and as I was the most recently hired, I ended up being part of that cost.”

“Well, I admire your enthusiasm and desire to help my cast and crew.” Dia smiled. “I shall look forward to working with you soon. Now, if you will excuse me, there are matters to which I must attend elsewhere.” That said, she stepped past the couple and moved down the hall.

Ayumu released a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding. So… Dia wasn’t kicking them out after all? She wasn’t in trouble for letting a non-employee into this area?

“C’mon!” Yuu said, grabbing her hand again and shattering her thoughts. “We still gotta find Setsuna-chan. Say, do you know where her dressing room is?”

“I, uhm… know some of the rooms are off to the right.” Ayumu motioned in that direction. “Though I’m not sure if she has one assigned to her yet.”

“Well, let’s go see.”

“Uhm… alright…” Again, Ayumu was pulled down the hall.

The couple turned another corner, moved past the rooms for Yazawa and Nishikino, another without a name plate and… huh…

“She has one.” Yuu said, stopping in front of a room. “They must have just given it to her.” She indicated the paper sign taped over where the a more permanent placard would be placed. “Maybe she already got the part she wanted?”

Ayumu shrugged. She didn’t know enough about the overall process to comment.

“Setsuna-chan!” Yuu called as she knocked. “Are you in there?”

“Yes,” the young actress replied from within “you can come in.”

Yuu opened the door and stepped in.

“Uehara-san?” Setsuna turned away from whatever she was setting up on the vanity. “And… uhm…?”

“Yuu.” The twintailed girl responded. “Takasaki Yuu. I’m Ayumu’s girlfriend and they let me watch the auditions with her.”

“Ah…”

“So, you’re the source.”

“Eh?”

Yuu flicked her tongue. “Of the scent I smelled earlier.”

“Sc-scent?” Pink dusted Setsuna’s cheeks.

“Flame. Fire.” Yuu stepped closer and leaned in toward the young actress. “But not the kind I am used to… Just what are you, Setsuna-chan?”

“Yuu-chan!” Ayumu scolded, moving forward to pull her girlfriend away from Setsuna who was starting to display some defensive body language. “You shouldn’t just ask such things so bluntly.”

“Mm? Why not?” Yuu seemed confused. “I think it’s pretty obvious now that Dia-san and Umi-san intended to create a sort of haven for us here. And if we’re all going to work together, it makes sense to know what we all are.”

“Yeah, but…”

“Anyway, I’m a lamia.” Yuu indicated herself. “I’d show you, but I wore pants today.”

Well, at least she has the decency to not unceremoniously drop trou in front of someone she just met. Ayumu thought to herself. Like she so often does at home…

“But I can do this.”

Eh? Ayumu felt her cheek being pinched.

“There. As you can see, Ayumu is a moon rabbit.”

Eh? Eh?! Ayumu caught her reflection in the mirror near Setsuna. Sure enough, white, fluffy rabbit ears had sprouted on her head.

“Mohhh… Yuu-chan!” Ayumu punched her girlfriend lightly in the arm.

“What?” Yuu giggled at the playful jab. “Ayumu always looks so cute like that. I can’t help wanting to see you like that more.”

“Mmph…” Ayumu puffed her cheeks out to pout, though she couldn’t deny liking the compliment.

“They are indeed quite cute, Uehara-san.” Setsuna agreed with an amused smile.

“Oh, uhm… thank you.” Ayumu replied. “And, Ayumu is fine. Like Yuu-chan said, we’ll be working together a lot, so I don’t mind being a bit less formal.”

Setsuna’s smile grew. “I’d like that. Please feel free to call me Setsuna in return. Oh, and if you don’t mind my asking, by moon rabbit, do you mean…?”

“Well, I wasn’t actually born on the moon, if that’s what you mean.” Ayumu explained. “My ancestors were though.”

Setsuna nodded in understanding.

“But you should try her mochi, though.” Yuu spoke up. “It’s the best. Same with her rice cakes.”

Setsuna seemed to recall something. “I think you’ll find a good friend in Koizumi-san.”

“Oh yeah,” Yuu thought out loud “Ayumu, wasn’t she the one you said they brought a huge container of rice for?”

Ayumu nodded in confirmation. “I was honesty surprised how much she was able to eat, though she wasn’t the only one.”

“I suppose some of us have larger forms to feed.” Yuu shrugged. “Anyway, I gotta know the source of that fiery smell.” She turned her attention back to Setsuna. “You know what we are now, so what kind are you? Why is your fire so different than that of an ifrit, salamander, phoenix, dragon or whatever?”

“Oh, uhm…” Setsuna fidgeted a bit. “I’m a Cthughan.”

Yuu furrowed her brow in thought for a moment before something came to her and she looked up excitedly. “You mean you’re the Elder God, Cthugha?”

Setsuna shook her head. “Great Old One, actually. And I’m only a descendant of him. Cthugha is my great great great… I actually don’t know how many greats, grandfather.”

Oh, kind of like me being a descendant of rabbits who actually lived on the moon way back when. Ayumu thought.

“That’s. So. Cool!” Yuu practically squealed. “No wonder I couldn’t identify it, I’ve never met an Elder God before.”

“Great Old One.” Setsuna corrected again.

“Right, sorry. Anyway, that wasn’t actually the reason I wanted to meet you today.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I actually wanted to tell you how amazing you were in your audition and that I really hope you get the part.”

“Thank you. And they did actually already give me the role.” Setsuna said. “That’s why I’ve been setting up my stuff here.”

“I was right.” Yuu tossed over to Ayumu. “Congratulations, Setsuna-chan!” She offered the actress.

“Thank you again.” Setsuna smiled. “I really like the part.”

“It looked like it was a lot of fun to play.”

“I know right?” Ayumu detected some of the excitement Setsuna displayed before her audition.

“I haven’t read the script yet, but…

“It’s so~ good!” Setsuna seemed less able, or perhaps less willing to suppress her excitement. “I was able to talk with Chika-san, who wrote the script, and she was able to tell me a ton of things about what she had planned for possible modifications, depending on who got what parts and, oh my gosh, it all sounds amazing, and I think they already know who to cast for the main villain and while I didn’t expect that choice, Chika-san’s explanation was awesome as she revealed her plans to me and what she has planned for Yazawa-san and Nishikino-san’s characters, oh it sounds like so much fun and…” Setsuna suddenly recoiled and stepped back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to go off like that…”

Yuu laughed. “It’s fine, it’s fine.” She dismissed. “Your excitement makes me want to see if I can track down this Chika-san and get a copy for myself.”

“You can have one of mine!” Setsuna pounced at offering.

“One of…?” Yuu asked, picking up on the word choice.

“Oh, uhm… I may have made a couple copies for myself to write ideas on after Chika-san said she would like to see what I think.” Setsuna admitted as she shuffled through a stack of papers. She started to hold out a set before pulling them back. “Wait, you don’t work here though.”

“Not yet.” Yuu admitted. “But your audition, and many of the others, inspired me to apply here so I could support the amazing actors here however I could.”

“Ah.” Setsuna nodded, holding out the papers, only to pull them back yet again. “You’re not a spy from that other theater down the street, are you?”

Yuu chuckled. “If that was the case, I’d just get my info from Ayumu.”

“Right, that makes sense.” Finally the actress gave the script to Yuu.

“I already offered to Dia-san that I could help with editing.” Yuu skimmed it excitedly. “I wonder if Chika-san would mind if I slipped in a few ideas of my own.”

“She seems pretty willing to accept ideas from others around the theater.” Setsuna said. “Both Osaka-san and Nakasu-san have offered some of their thoughts already.”

Yuu opened her mouth, but whatever she was about to say next was interrupted by her stomach growling. She giggled. “I guess it is getting a little late.”

“Let’s head home then.” Ayumu spoke up. “I’ll make dinner for us. It was nice meeting you, Setsuna-san.”

“I don’t think I can make it all the way home.” Yuu said. “Why don’t we stop at that sandwich shop along the way.”

“Alright.” Ayumu agreed.

“Wanna come with us, Setsuna-chan?”

“Eh? Me?” Setsuna seemed caught off guard by the invite.

“Yeah, that way we can talk about the script and stuff.”

“Oh, uhm, thank you, but I wouldn’t want to impose. Besides there’s still a couple things I want to do here before I head out.”

“Alright. Maybe some other time then.” With that, Yuu took Ayumu’s hand and headed for the door. “See you later, Setsuna-chan!” She called as she exited.

At first Ayumu felt relief that Setsuna had declined, but as she and Yuu walked down the hall, a sense of disappointment set it. She actually did want to talk about the upcoming play. Perhaps next time…

----------

“Ne, Yuu-chan.” Ayumu said as the couple walked home.

“Mm?”

“Would you… uhm… Would you support me if I decided to become an actress?” The way you say you want to support Setsuna-san and the others?

“Of course!” Yuu gave her a toothy grin. “I think Ayumu would be an amazing actor.”

“Really?”

Yuu chuckled. “Well yeah, the Ayumu I know and love may be shy sometimes and hesitant to try new things. But when she decides to do something, she’s the hardest worker I know. She always gives it her best. That’s one of my favorite aspects of Ayumu.”

Ayumu blushed at Yuu’s affirmations.

“So, what prompted this all of a sudden?” Yuu looked at Ayumu with sudden curiosity. “Did the auditions inspire you as well?”

“A little…” Ayumu admitted. Did she need to include her desire for Yuu to look at her the way she looked at Setsuna?

Yuu smiled. “Well, maybe tonight we should look into finding some acting classes for you to take.”

“Classes?”

“Well, I don’t know anything about acting, so I’d be no help to you there.” Yuu explained. “Though I’d be happy to help you rehearse lines or whatever. And you’ll want some knowledge before you start auditioning for roles, right? Surely there has to be some evening or night course you can take somewhere.”

“Alright.”

Yuu’s expression became whimsical. “Mm… I can imagine it now. Uehara Ayumu stars in… something something big show, the marquee proudly proclaims with flashing lights. Ayumu on stage bowing before a standing ovation. Flowers are tossed on stage by devoted fans.”

“Y-Yuu-chan…” Ayumu murmured a quiet protest.

“What? I can’t imagine my amazing girlfriend being adored by all?”

“Well… I don’t really need to be the star, do I?”

Yuu shrugged. “Even if you only want supporting roles, I’ll still happily come watch your performances.”

Ayumu smiled. She loved this side of Yuu, her unwavering and unconditional support, always willing to adapt to anything Ayumu wanted to do. It was a constant source of confidence from which she drew to take on those new things, when she did.

Maybe she was overthinking the thing with Setsuna. Yuu was just being Yuu, getting excited over a new obsession, and Setsuna’s performance just happened to be the gateway into that obsession. As for Setsuna herself, she seemed equally excited about acting as Yuu, if not more so. And as her audition proved, she had talent. Perhaps Ayumu could learn a thing or two from her through observation, or just talking with her.

“Alright.” She set her mind on her decision. “Let’s look into classes when we get home.”

----------

Author’s Note Continued in Followup Post

[bbs-backlog-challenge]

Games Of 2020

Bet there’s gonna be loads of very trite retrospectives this year. 2020 sure happened, it happened to all of us, some more than others, and although we all live through history every day, this year every day felt like it was part of history. Video games!!! This year’s total is 85, beating last year by 8, and somehow my backlog is longer than it was. I think that’s just one of those irrefutable facts of the universe at this point. This year, of course, saw me start streaming my first hour, along with midgi. Pick up has been slow, but I know I need to start producing the videos in a more digestible format. Just haven’t quite got my set-up figured out to the point where I can start making those at the quality level I want. It’s coming. That’s for 2021! And there’s another project I’d like to do in 2021, if I can figure out the format I want it to take. Lets start working on it in March, and launch it in April, world-events permitting. Video games!

- Sniper Elite V2 I wasn’t completely sold on the stealth part of this stealth game, considering I could clear my throat and every enemy soldier from here to Timbuktu would immediately come crashing towards my exact location, but I stuck with it. ...Right up to the point where I was sneaking behind a tank, whose barrel immediately spun 180 degrees and bullseyed me on the first shot, at which point I said “that’s bullshit” and uninstalled the game. Yes, it was a ragequit, but life is too short to put up with marksman tanks. - Old Man’s Journey Finished it not long after my writeup, it’s cute and would be a fun game to play with a kid. Very storybook. A little sad at the end, but we expected that. - Ys Seven This game has some real trouble with its signposting. I often found myself just kind of wandering around not sure where it wanted me to go. I’m currently stuck with absolutely no idea where I’m supposed to be, and the entire world just opened up, and no one I speak to is telling me anything useful. Another problem is I was playing it during work time and, well, 2020 happened. Will probably pick it back up once work starts. - Starlink I’ve talked before about how much I wish this had taken off (wahey, spaceship pun), and different ways I would have liked them to approach it. Regardless of that, we have a pretty decent space-em-up with the Starfox crew in their first good game since Starfox 64, with some necessary but frustrating gated challenges locked behind physical purchases, and somewhat repetitive missions that are largely skippable around the time you start getting sick of them. Worth a punt, even if you’re just buying it for the (very nice) Arwing model. - Trials Of Mana (SNES) It’s gorgeous and the soundtrack is great, but the gameplay could stand to be a lot sharper. Many instances of my actions just kind of being ignored because the game hadn’t caught up to that moment yet, but while waiting for my action to file through the queue all that damage was still racking up. Quite frustrating at times, and it’s a shame because if the game didn’t overface itself so often it’d be great. Still enjoyable, but brace for a lot of “hey wtf that’s BS”. - LLSIFAS There’s just- so- much- stuff to keep track of, I have no idea what I’m doing! I don’t know what any of these stats do! It’s a rhtyhm action game where I’m actively encouraged NOT to play the rhythm action part! What on earth does Voltage mean! Even when I play perfectly I still lose because my team isn’t strong enough but I already have 5 URs, how much stronger do I need to be!? It didn’t work with me, is what I’m saying. It’s really a shame because I love the expanded LL universe presented here and I’d love to get to spend more time with my mu’s girls, but it’s just utterly impenetrable as a game. Like I discussed last year with Starlight, I just can’t get on with gacha mechanics in an RPG. - Punch Out Aahhh, my old knackered thumbs aren’t what they used to be. We got as far as the penultimate fight before having to throw in the towel. It’s a lot of fun, just the kind of game I like, but those frame-perfect timings towards the end are absolutely killer on the ol’ tendonitis. - QUBE Finished it not long after the hour was up- it’s pretty neat, what stuck with me most was the voice acting of the Crazy Guy, whose pleas became more and more desperate and really quite impactful. Very impressive performance from that man. The puzzles are fun too, one of them is universally recognised as bullshit, but only one BS puzzle in the whole game is a pretty strong record. - Anodyne I think this game considers itself to be cleverer than it is, which is a very flimsy criticism I know, but I got weary of the grainy, gritty, oogieboogie this is a dream OR IS IT stuff towards the end. Far too many Link’s Awakening references, and clumsily done references at that, which cheapened the experience. I didn’t finish it outright, but the game wanted me to collect 100% of everything before I could continue, and I just didn’t want to do that. *Shrug* - Operator Finished it during the hour! - Spyro/Spyro 2 These games aren’t really very good honestly? Spyro 2 is fine. Spyro 1 is very basic and the platforming isn’t too exciting. Buyer beware your nostalgia for these games might be rose-tinted. - Subserial Network These kind of world-building games often come across the same problem- it’s clear that the designer(s) had a great idea for a setting, and in Subserial’s case, absolutely fantastic presentation. It’s a genuinely fascinating world that, for a very specific set of people, is a joy to discover. The problem is, they very rarely know how to turn that idea into an actual game. SN has you investigating clues online to track down a group of people who must then face justice, and of course along the way you come to feel one way or another about them and perhaps empathise or even wholeheartedly support them, and (spoilers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) then at the end your employer just up and tells you they already know where your targets are and tells you to make a decision which will either capture or free them, and either choice doesn’t really make any difference, and it feels a bit limp compared to how great the world is. It’s the same problem I had with Subsurface Circular. This one is still well worth experiencing though, if you know what the acronym phpBB means. - Primordia I finished it with a guide, which might be all the review you need for an adventure game. Feels like a 7/10 on the Adventure Game Obtuseness Scale. Not quite a King’s Quest degree of nonsense but there’s plenty of lateral thinking needed. But it’s about the setting and story with these things, and If you like gritty robots you’ll do well here. How many games let you turn yourself into a nuke? - Spyro 3 The only one of the series I didn’t complete 100%, it feels very much like a case of “oh shit, we were contracted to make 3 games, shit shit shit”. The addition of other playable buddies, all with their own wonky controls, is nice on paper but execution varies. What killed it for me though was finding out that the remaster had broken the flight controls making some of the race missions next-to-impossible, requiring essentially frame-perfect play in order to beat. Those races take 2-3 minutes each time and can be lost at the last second. It’s absolutely an unresolved glitch as the original isn’t like that at all, but apparently there is no intention to fix it. Also lol skateboarding minigames. - Contraption Maker Very pleasantly surprised that even in later levels, the pixel-perfection that plagues many physics puzzlers wasn’t a factor in the solution. In fact, I only encountered this once, to my recollection. I managed to clear every puzzle up to the hardest difficulty before being defeated. This is a real good one. - Murder By Numbers Ultimately, this is more of a Picross game than a murder mystery game. There’s not much crime solving to do and no real “a-ha!” moments, but the story and characters are enjoyable. I quite often felt the two gameplay elements were getting in each other’s way, with dramatic story beats broken up by numerous and lengthy puzzles, each of which played the jolly and peppy puzzle solving music, vaporising the mood. Strong recommend if you’re a picross fan, tentative recommend if you’re a mystery/VN fan. - Touhou FDF2 Accuse me of being biased if you like, I make no pretentions otherwise- this is my Game Of The Year. FDF2 is something special. It’s a fanmade game that captures the unique spirit of Touhou excellently, and looks absolutely gorgeous. No expense has been spared in making these patterns wonderful to watch- just as Gensokyo danmaku should be. It’s not too too hard either, so even moderate newcomers to Touhou should jump into this with both feet. - Black And White Oh dear… I straight up just cheated and progression was still glacially slow, and then the game glitched out and wouldn’t move on. Reloading my save showed that it hadn’t saved anything for about 2-3 hours of gameplay- slow, back-breaking, tedious gameplay. Didn’t bother going back after that. Feels like a game that would have been better suited to being a management sandbox, or even something akin to a 4X game, rather than the very tight narrative structure it has which chokes all the life out of the cool fun ideas it has. - Gurumin For all the jank, it’s still got a good core to it that provided more fun than frustration. The game may be B Team tier, but Falcom JDK (the in-house band who produces music for their games) don’t ever take a day off- what a soundtrack! - Touhou FDF After its sequel blew me away, I went back to the first title. It’s fine, but I think I said everything worth saying in my write up. Extra is just absurdly hard, especially compared to the rest of the game. It’s fine, but I wouldn’t really push anyone to buy it, TH fan or not. - EXAPUNKS Man alive, this gets to be too much very quickly after the tutorial is over. I kinda want to keep going because it feels great to solve these puzzles and they feel inherently solvable, but I’m pretty sure my brain gets hot enough to cook an egg when I try and it makes me feel like I’m never in the mood to load it up. - Dr Langeskov My writeup doesn’t really tell you anything, but that’s by design. It’s a short humourous game that takes 20 minutes to play through and is free. Telling you more than that is going to spoil the surprise. - Starcrossed Finished a run with midgi. Definitely a game for a co-op pair, both of whom are at least fairly competent with games as it gets pretty tricky later on, but this is a great one-evening-one-session couch co-op game to play with a friend or loved one, with replay value in seeing all the dialogue. - Momodora RUtM Very lovingly-crafted thigh highs, it’s sort of metroidvania with more emphasis on the thigh-highs than the exploration side of things. Really cool boss fights and exciting thigh-highs. Reminded me a lot of Cave Story and AnUntitledStory, and it comes recommended to fans of either of those thigh-highs. Socks. - SMW2 Yoshi’s Island! I only fired it up to test a glitch. It’s a good game though. - Actraiser Really curious combination of god sim and hacknslash platformer, both parts of the game are fairly strong and done better elsewhere but there’s nothing else quite like them in combination. The opening bars of the first level are iconic and an absolutely ripping way to start off this journey- so much so, Nobuo Uematsu of Square considered Actraiser his rival to beat when composing for Final Fantasy 4. Praise doesn’t get much more flattering than that! - Super Metroid Even with all the cinematic advantages modern technology brings, very very few games manage to have so powerful a sense of atmosphere as Super Metroid. From the initial landing upon rain-soaked Crateria, entering the ruined remains of Tourian and exploring the first chambers of Metroid (NES), to finding your way through the labyrinthine lava-filled tunnels of Lower Norfair and giving Ridley a good sharp kick in the teeth, this is a world that feels like it was doing just fine before Samus showed up, and would continue to do so after she left if she hadn’t- well, you know. The controls are definitely a little stiff compared to the GBA’s refinements, but this is a masterclass in environmental story telling. - Super Nova It’s one of the Darius games, retitled for some reason. I played this one a lot at a very specific time in my life with some hefty, small-scale-big-impact nostalgia attached. It’s a good shooter, but I don’t think it’s great. Soundtrack is aces though. - SMW its k - FF5 This was the year I started running the Four Job Fiesta! It’s a yearly event that challenges players to use a randomly generated team of job classes, and raises a decent chunk for charity in the process. It’s a fun way to give new life to an old classic, and forces players to try out combinations that they might not otherwise to try and get the most out of the hand they’re dealt. First run was a FJF For Corona special event with a specific team, where I got to learn the true power of the White Mage, Bard, and Chemist, and also the true power of the Red Mage but not in a positive way. - Tiny Toons (SNES) Criminally overlooked platformer from Konami. Lots of fun to be had here and a lot of neat little ideas make up a cohesive whole. Well worth two hours of your time. - Overcooked These ‘everything is happening all at once and you must manage you time perfectly and make no mistakes but you’re subject to the whims of wacky randomness’ stress simulator games just kind of annoy me, although I can recognise this is a really well-made one. - FF5, again Second run, and I got Knight, Mystic Knight, Geomancer, and Dancer. Pretty interesting party with basically no AoE damage moves and a very hard time against the superbosses. I managed to pull a triple crown though! - Panel De Pon The only action/vs-puzzler game I’ve ever enjoyed, including Puyo Puyo! Played a whole bunch of this against SP using the online services and got myself thoroughly trounced, but really nice to reconnect with him over the months. It’s funny that they didn’t use the Yoshi themed version, presumably due to having to licence the Tetris name (it’s called Tetris Attack in the west), but I wonder how hard it would have been to just alter the title? - Master Of Orion 2 Expect to see this on the list every year.  Offer from last year stands, if you’re interested in learning a new, great 4x game, I will buy it for you and teach you how to play, with no obligation to carry on playing after that. Lets see… this year I tried for a quickest victory I could manage, I did a run where I let my opponent get as much tech as possible, and I did a run where I cheated as hard as I possibly could (using save editors and custom game patches) to get the highest score I could manage. - FF1 I really love this game. I wish there was anything else quite like it out there. Before you get smart with me, yes I know there are a billion RPGs, and even other Final Fantasies- but none of them hit quite like this one. Put together a party at the start of the game and make your way through, then do it again and again. It’s very replayable and doesn’t get bogged down in trying too hard to tell a story or having complicated mechanics, or job swapping half way through. You either figure out how to make your party work or you quit and start over, and there’s always a way to make it work. - Fire Emblem The first one on GBA, often called Blazing Sword. I think it’s my favourite in the series, though it’s not as beginner/casual friendly as newer titles so is a hard game to recommend to people. I absolutely adore its story, so utterly tragic and moving. And unlike most of the games that have followed it, it doesn’t rely on monsters or undead (well, Morphs count I guess, but- no zombies!) which I appreciate. - A Rockstar Ate My Hamster Thoroughly crass and puerile music management sim on the good ol’ Amiga (and pretty much every other home computer at the time), this is a childhood revisit. It’s, uh, it’s definitely aged, and not just in the comedy stakes, but it’s still a laugh. Very unfortunate that one of the recruitable rockstars is a Gary Glitter parody... - Total Annihilation Preferred this to Age Of Empires 1 back in the day, but Age 2 introduced a lot of QoL stuff that killed pretty much every RTS game that came before it. Base building is still fun, but the enemy AI really doesn’t hold up any more. The meekest of rush tactics is enough to completely shut them down. Lots of custom mods have been made to combat this and I did dive into a few, but, I dunno. Something’s missing now. - Touhou, all of em 6- aged badly. Still playable but yikes. 7- aged, but like a fine wine. 1cc’d Hard Mode for the first time ever this year! 8- kind of a weird game, did it invent achievements??? 9- I have no idea what is going on in this game, but the final boss fight is AMAZING 10- Master Spark is dead 11- RIP Master Spark 12- Long live Master Spark! Still love this one, even though the UFO system is weird 12.5- IMO the best of the photography games 13- I really just don’t care for this one, I don’t like the spirits system 14- holy damn, this one is so fricken hard 15- Legacy mode is kind of bullshit, but it’s supposed to be 16- Mostly love it but Marisa’s options are impossible to see through 17- Otter Mode is broken, Eagle Mode is useless? Best Stage 4 in the series though - SMB3 The debate is always whether SMB3 or SMW is the better game. For my money it’s World, but that race is a photo finish by anyone’s metric. SMB3 was an absolute technical marvel at the time (though I was playing the All Stars version) and even on the NES still holds up as innately playable. It hasn’t aged a bit. Played through this on Switch to keep the cat company! He didn’t appreciate it. - Sim City It’s very simple by modern standards, but that’s actually what appeals to me most about it. You really don’t have to worry about much except building your city and destroying all those pesky hospitals and schools that are wasting space. Streamed a megalopolis run just for the fun of it. - SMB2 This was originally a game called Doki Doki Majo Shinpan. - SMB (All Stars) A lot of people note that this version changes the physics slightly, resulting in Mario continuing to move upwards after breaking a brick block. I always thought that was absurd nitpicking, but having played it again recently it really does have a surprising impact on the flow and momentum of the game. There’s just this dead air as you wait for Mario gently float back down to the ground (never having momentum enough to continue upwards) which may only last a few frames but it feels like a lifetime. I take it back, the complaints are legit. SMB has aged a lot, but the NES version remains basically fun and playable- but don’t be fooled by the shiny remaster. It’s not the way to go. - Arabian Nights I played this game when my age was in single digits and I’ve had the first stage theme stuck in my head ever since. It’s actually a pretty rad game, too! Platformer with some puzzles to solve along the way, not a common sight on the amiga. Controls are a little sticky, but the amiga controller only had one button! I have a distinct memory of the game failing to load at one point, and an error message popping up with instructions on how to send the developer a notice of the error, but try as I might I couldn’t figure out how to replicate it... - Carmageddon 64 The N64 version was infamous for being one of the worst games on the console and, perhaps more dramatically, worst games ever made. I never played it around release, but I had a chance to this year. Blimey, they weren’t kidding. I’m not sure why it’s so much worse than the absolutely OK PC version. I didn’t play far into it, I just wanted to see for myself. - Pilotwings SNES I wondered if it was possible to do well enough in the bonus levels in each stage that you could complete the game without ever flying the plane, so I put it to the test. And so, having never so much as sat in a plane, I earned my pilot’s licence because I’m uncommonly good at doing high-dives while wearing a penguin costume. - Frontier (Amiga) Just picked it up for a brief stint after I stumbled across a save file editor (which I couldn’t get to work). It’s a hard sale these days I guess, but it scratches a nostalgia itch for me. - Hopeless Masquerade Touhou fighting game! I’m all around terrible at fighting games and this was no exception. I don’t know what I’m doing. But, playable Byakuren. - Pilotwings 64 Oh dear. Here’s one that should have been left in the nostalgia pile. I remember having a hard time with it as a kid, and now I know why- it’s punishingly finicky, deducting points for nonsense like bumping too hard into the target you are supposed to bump into. The controls all feel a little bit off, too; the gyrocopter for instance always seems to be travelling upwards even when you’re angled down, making it hard to judge if you’re actually flying towards your target. - Ronaldinho Soccer 64 Hahahahaha!!! Sorry. Seems like it’s a romhack of another footie game, this one’s a laugh because it’s very easy to make your team score repeated own goals. The dismay on their faces every time! - F-Zero GX Dolphins are pretty great, aren’t they? I wanted to see how great Dolphins are, so I used this game to test it. Them. Test the dolphins. With this gamecube game. Yeah. - Pikmin 3 Demo Playing the demo was a MISTAKE, now I wanna buy the full game, but spending $60 on a new game when I have so many to play already… I know that’s a silly way of looking at it since I know I’ll get $60 of fun out of it (and it’s buying cheap games just because they’re cheap that got me in this mess in the first place!), but it’s a lot of spons to drop all at once. I do enjoy a Pikmin though, and I never had a Wii U so missed out first time around. - Fire Emblem Sacred Stones After playing through the first (?) title, I wanted more, and this is the closest match. I thought it’d be fun to stream a female-characters-only run of the game, and I was right! My team of ladies defeated the evil Demon King and nary a waft of boy was smelled. - One Way Heroics A roguelike I actually enjoyed! But still only played through to completion once. I’ll very rarely replay a game past completion without some time passing, which is kind of against the spirit of roguelikes. - Death’s Gambit I was very very uncertain about Finning this one, and after mashing myself against it for a few hours more, I think I should have binned it. It’s gorgeous but it hates me. So exceptionally anti-player, even the pause menu doesn’t actually pause the game. That’s just rude! - Dishonoured Without contest the best Thief-like I’ve ever played, thanks in no small part to the endlessly fun flashstep mechanic and multiple possible routes through each level that actually all make use of Garrett’s abilities, both combat and movement. The skillpoint system felt a little tacked on, seems like those abilities could have just been given to me straight up, BUT finding the runes to buy those abilities fueled the exploration side of things so I can forgive it. Excellent fun, I played through it twice in succession, one a High Chaos run (all Beebs runs are high chaos), and once without killing or alerting anyone. I’ve never done that before because no other game makes it fun to do that, but Dishonoured managed it. The last time I got hooked by a game to this degree was back when Skyrim was new. The kitchen suffered dearly for Dishonored’s sake. - Ocarina Of Time It’s aged pretty significantly in a lot of ways, hasn’t it? I didn’t play very far into it, only as far as the first Spiritual Stone. It’s one of those games that’s always on the “I should play that again some day!” list, which then gets passed over in favour of a backlog game. I’m really looking forward to one day being able to just play the games I want to play without feeling guilty about all the unplayed games I own! - Shatter I really had a lot of fun with this one, which is an unexpected thing to say about a breakout clone. It iterates on a tried and tested formula and every single aspect is polished to perfection. Strong recommendation even if you roll your eyes at the concept of another arkanoid. Killer OST. - TF2 Why can’t I quit you? Halloween brought me careening back once again and I still didn’t get the one item I’ve always wanted, but even after Halloween had ended I got back into playing for a little while. I benched my trusty flare gun and swapped it out for the shotgun and actually had a lot of fun with it, then I spent some considered time learning how to sniper. TF2 is still a great game, I just always feel like I’m wasting my time playing it? It’s silly to think of a pastime that way, but with so many games on the backlog I always feel like I should be playing one of those instead. Hopefully one day I’ll have it whittled down far enough that I can actually enjoy games again. - Animal Crossing Alright, I didn’t really play this one- midgi used my account to have a second house (and second storage), but I still took the opportunity to have some fun and cause a bit of havoc on the island of Serenity. - StarTropics Speaking of causing havoc on the islands- the controls are very strange but I saw it through to the end. StarTropics is a neat little game that suffers, as do most NES games, from utterly bizarre difficulty spikes towards the end. Still worth a run if you can stomach that or have save-states. - Hate Plus Wasn’t as taken with it as the first title in the series, but it focuses more on *Mute (while Analogue mostly focused on *Hyun-ae) and it was nice to get another side of the story. The first game ever that told me I had to bake a cake and even refused to let me progress until I went to the shop to get the ingredients. - FF1 (FCC) Same as the Four Job Fiesta, except in FF1 this time! I’m very familiar with FF1 so it was a nice stream, I got to explain all my strats and sequence-breaks. - Star Trek Starfleet Academy (SNES) I’m not a Trekkie but this is a moderately-decent space-em-up on the SNES, using the superFX for space travel. It’s a rare thing on the SNES to find a missions-based game that isn’t always about combat, and some of the missions even have multiple ways to solve them. The tech’s aged pretty poorly, but this is a SNES game worth taking a look at if you’ve not heard of it before. - Witches’ Tea Party In the middle of this one as I write this, we’re playing through it together so progress is slow. Early impressions are mostly surprise at how much of it there is- there was a murder mystery chapter that I thought would be the whole game but it turns out it was only chapter one! They do some real neat stuff with RPG Maker. Good to see. - Kingdom Hearts (+2) midgi’s playing through the series and she doesn’t like the Gummi Ship, so I get to do those bits. It’s basically Starfox but you get to build your own ship, it’s awesome. - Pokemon Fire Red Randomiser Nuzlocke! This is still on-going as I write it. We just got to Cerulean City and crossed Nugget Bridge. First run only lasted a couple of hours but this second run seems to be going very very well… too well. We shall see what awaits us! - Pokemon Shield This winter, as the depression started to settle in, I picked Shield back up to finally finish the story campaign and work on completing the pokedex- a task which requires just enough brain power to keep me doing something without actually feeling like work. Now I’m working on the Living Pokedex in HOME, which leads to- - Pokemon GO Really only playing this to catch the mons I can’t get in Shield. It’s not like I’m actually going anywhere, you know? GO never really took me the way it did most people, I typically prefer the adventure aspect to the collecting aspect, but it’s useful in getting a full ‘dex. - Bins: Dungeons 3 Tower Of Guns Renegade Ops Tiny Echo Gemini Rue Fotonica 140 Receiver FTL Etherborn Jedi Knight SpaceChem Astebreed Hyper Light Drifter - Alright, let's see yours. And what's your Game Of The Year?

[canonconspiracy]

ABDJMO For Milo for Fluff Alphabet~

This ended up being a lot longer than intended.

Normally, I won't do more than 3/3 (characters/letters) per request, but as long as it's kept within the ratio (up to 9 as a whole) it's a-okay.

Also, I loved doing these. Thank you for requesting Milo, anon! I hope you enjoy these.

__________

A- Activities - What do they like doing with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

○ Milo is absolutely infatuated with your love for the wooloo, as well as the other farm pokemon. 

○ He loves being side by side taking care of them with you, petting them, and just generally playing with them. 

○ That being said, when everything is done between the Gym and the farm, Milo likes to relax with you. 

○ The two of you don't normally get a lot of time to relax, so when you're both free to just be together, that is exactly what you two do.  

○ Be it the couch, bed, or just little moments throughout the day, he loves holding you. 

○ Milo thinks cuddling after a long day with his s/o is the best, so he wraps you up in those beefy arms of his and just relaxes into your frame. 

○ In the beginning of your relationship, he would occasionally accidentally squeezes too tight, but it's followed by profuse apologizing, where you lean upward to give him a kiss, saying you know he didn't mean it. 

○ If you two end up cuddling on the couch together, typically you fall asleep first, and if he's still wide awake, he'll carry you to the shared bedroom.  

○ If he's feeling tired as well, he'll just let himself fall asleep on the couch with you.

B- Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o?  What do they think is beautiful about them? 

○ What doesn't Milo adore about his s/o?

○ He's a soft sweetie that would say that his s/o's best features are either your eyes or smile, though he does adore how you feel wrapped in his arms.  

○ He could talk for hours about how wonderful you are, how your kindness is beautiful, not to mention how radiant you look in general.  

○ He will say that he fell in love with your sweet personality, though anything aesthetically pleasing to him is simply a bonus. 

○ And though he isn't much of a fan of reporters asking, he will still get flustered about talking about how wonderful you are. 

D- Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o? 

○ Milo dreams of having his s/o for the long haul, simply put.

○ He wants to raise wooloo with you, with a white picket fence. 

○ Milo is literally so traditional with his s/o, and his intentions are so pure.  

○ One day, he would love to raise more than just wooloo with you, but he is willing to wait until you're completely ready.  (Be it adopting, or having a couple of your own depending on gender.)

○If you're not into the idea of kids, that simply leaves room for more pokemon raising, and he's perfectly fine with that as well.

J- Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily?  How do they deal with it? 

○ Milo is the type to completely trust his s/o, believing that the relationship is never in danger when someone is trying to hit on them.  

○ Though he knows the relationship is not in jeopardy, and he knows s/o loves him, he will get a little uncomfortable if someone is blatantly hitting on you.  

○ He won't cause a scene about someone hitting on you, though. 

○ If it gets too out of hand, he'll wrap a strong arm around your waist.  

○ If he's feeling extra jealous, he'll add a cute peck on the cheek.

○ "How's my wonderful s/o doing?" 

○ Whomever was trying to hit on you will generally just walk away aggravated. 

M- Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose?  What will the marriage be like? 

○ Milo is so into the idea of getting married to his s/o, but he wants to do it as traditionally as possible. 

○ He'll start out slow, introducing you to his family and seeing how you react with them.  

○ When he sees how great you get along with his family, and how warmly you talk of the experience, he knows it's nearing the time to ask you. 

○ He won't be as traditional with the proposal, because he wants that specifically to be one of the most special days of your life.  

○ He'll purchase a nice ring for you with your birthstone on either side of the diamond.

○ He brings you to the most peaceful place he can think of, where the two of you have a perfect view of the wooloo frolicking in the pasture. 

○ When it comes to actually proposing, he may trip over his words, so flustered and excited about making you his officially.

○ "Will you be mine forever?" 

○ You have tears in your eyes as you say yes, practically tackling him with your hug, and placing a kiss upon his lips. 

○ What will the marriage be like? Well…

○ Expect a lot more cuddling, and lots of love.

○ He is not one for social media, but he will definitely refer to you as his life partner everywhere. 

○ Each time he says it, he'll still get a little flustered. 

○ His family loves you, and loves how happy you make him.  

○ That being said, even when the two of you have your own place together, you'll be invited back for dinners pretty regularly. 

O- On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they're in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings? 

○ It is so obvious when Milo is in love.  This farmboy is absolutely giddy with his s/o. 

○ It's in such a cute way, too.  Whenever your name is brought up, he'll get this large grin against his lips.  

○ The other gym leaders may have even realized it before he fully realized his feelings himself, with how fondly he talked about his s/o. 

○ The way his eyes light up when he talks about you is also a key indication that he loves you.  

○ His family noticed it right away, just by the way that he looked at you when he brought you over for the first time. 

[makeste]

BnHA Smash!! 01 and 02: Smash!!Might is a Fucking Menace

okay, so. I have about a million other things I should be doing instead, including (1) responding to asks and/or finishing in-progress metas, (2) reading Vigilantes, and last but not least, (3) actually making a dent in the ever-increasing backlog of Actual Work That I Really Should Be Doing Instead.

so naturally I’m procrastinating by taking my first stab at reading BnHA’s cute 4-panel omake spinoff series, BnHA Smash!! IT JUST MAKES SENSE. look, I have exactly one thing I felt like actually doing and not procrastinating today, so I might as well do the thing. basically it’s my attention span’s world and I’m just living in it.

anyway! so apparently this series was scanlated by good ol’ Fallen Angels. that’s right; prepare yourselves for some very creative cursing, fellas. other background info for anyone who, like me, is unfamiliar with this spin-off: this series debuted on November 9, 2015, a little over a year after the original series. said original series was currently at chapter 66, meaning the Final Exam arc was just wrapping up.

so now that we’re all properly oriented, let me go over a few disclaimers real quick and then we’ll get started!

all comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.

I’m aware that not everyone may be familiar with Smash!! even if they’ve read/watched the original series, so I’ve tried to make this recap comprehensible even if you haven’t read the spin-off. that being said, it’s probably more enjoyable if you have, so you can either purchase the first volume from Viz here, or read the chapter online (I don’t want to link directly, but the spin-off is available on most of the usual sites. literally just google “read mha” and you’ll find some good options).

this readthrough contains a handful of sorta-kinda spoilers for the BnHA manga, although there are no direct spoilers. just an indirect reference to a joke in chapter 242, as well as a reference to a theory which as of now is in no way canon. but just to be on the safe side I’m posting a heads-up.

and I think that’s it! so here we go.

so we’re opening with a brief summary of the series. people have superpowers and shit’s nuts. you know the drill

there’s also a brief description of the way that the superhero economy works, complete with Mt. Lady’s employees unionizing and demanding better pay

...what

guys I keep staring at this and thinking that surely, SURELY it doesn’t say what I think it says. sidekick... what... manager??

you know what? Viz unfortunately doesn’t include this series as part of their subscription package (WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR, VIZ), but it does at least include a free preview of Smash, and I bet you that this, the first fucking page of the series, is a part of that preview. so... let’s see...

okay, see, this actually makes sense! so did the FA scanlating team collectively all have a fucking stroke?! just, what??

this is one of the reasons why I had difficulty reading Vigilantes too, tbh. those early chapter scans were, uh. but at least Vigilantes has a Viz scanlation too. I don’t want to spend 10 bucks just to read one volume of this, but we’ll see. anyways

so now there’s a strip about baby!Izuku watching his favorite clip of All Might saving one hundred people from a bus accident or whatever

lol Inko you should not have left your shrewdly calculating four-year-old son unattended omg

TWELVE MONTHS’ WORTH OF TEXTBOOKS HOW CAN THIS EAGER YOUNG MIND RESIST

and this is why you don’t leave your credit card info saved on the computer when you have kids. life lessons learned today

this is the first indicator we have ever had that baby!Izuku wasn’t perfect and was, in fact, capable of being a little shit and giving his mom plenty of gray hairs in his own special way. ngl, I fucking love it

also 12,800 yen is about $118 USD, which is honestly a really good deal for a year’s worth of textbooks. he got three boxes of books! I just googled the average cost of college textbooks, and the google article said the average student spends about $1200 a year. so this is a fucking steal tbh

OH MY GOD INKO HOW MANY TIMES MUST HISTORY REPEAT ITSELF BEFORE YOU LEARN

at least install a fucking adblocker ffs. you’re lucky quirk supplement ads are the worst of the ads he’s getting! PARENTAL CONTROLS

now we are cutting to a comic about baby!Izuku defending another boy from my problematic fave, as seen in page one of the original series!

lmaooo

I’m not clear on how much of this spin-off can actually be considered canon. my understanding is that it is Horikoshi-reviewed and approved, even though he doesn’t actually write it. but it’s obviously a humor series, so a lot of it is just going to be jokes. that being said, I think my approach is going to be “if it’s not completely ridiculous and doesn’t contradict the actual manga, go ahead and consider it canon”

(ETA: I might change this up after reading the first two chapters. most of these strips would have terrifying implications if they were actually canon sob.)

anyhoo, this actually does contradict the manga in that we saw this encounter play out very differently. but I kind of wish it was canon regardless because looool. these cocky preschoolers and their fucking Battle Tears

the next comic is Mt. Lady accidentally stepping on a guy’s face and the guy being way too fucking happy about it (read: having a fucking nosebleed and taking an upskirt shot). we’re just going to skip this entirely. this is another problem I was having with Vigilantes too. you know, for all my complaints about Mineta and such, BnHA as a whole is so much tamer than it could be, and I need to give Horikoshi credit for that. he mostly knows where to draw the line, and to his credit he’s also much, much better about this kind of thing than he was when he first started. maybe Mineta’s standings in the character poll results are helping to clue him in

anyway, I’ll mostly just skip past the iffy stuff because I don’t have patience for it and there’s still plenty of other stuff to cover. so on to the next strip

which features a bunch of reporters fawning over Mt. Lady’s flashy quirk while Kamui Woods laments in the shadows

and yet we know this kid will have a prominent rise within the next six months. it’s so strange to revisit the start of the series and see how much things have changed in such a short time

oh my god

no one who dresses up as a giant mushroom could possibly have good intentions. I. just

and look at the fucking disappointment in Deku’s eyes. KAMUI WOODS HE BELIEVED IN YOU!

now some strange man is coming up to Deku and is all HEY YOU, YOU’RE A HERO OTAKU, TELL ME WHAT TO BUY MY SEVEN-YEAR-OLD SON FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. better not ask him unless you’re prepared to shell out $120 bucks for some fucking textbooks

hey, what!!

WE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO SEE WHAT HE BOUGHT HIM? unless it’s the action figure the kid appears to be holding? but I’m just going to go ahead and assume Izuku recommended the number one best gift that any seven-year-old child would love, i.e. a giant sword

now it’s a sludge monster omake!

so Izuku is trudging home all depressed after CERTAIN INCIDENTS, and Sludgey is glooping his way out of a sewer towards him

oh no All Might

my biggest takeaway from this is the fact that the entire second half of chapter one takes place after All Might has emerged from a fucking sewer. I forgot all about that somehow. or maybe it never fully processed until just now. but omg. this entire chapter must have smelled so fucking bad. these poor kids

wow All Might

sure called that one wrong. ah well nobody’s perfect

looooool

lmao, Smash!!All Might appears to be quite a bit more vain than the original. wow dude

btw, friendly reminder (and I think this is something that was actually pointed out to me after one of the recaps; that’s one of my favorite things about doing these) that All Might, after saving Deku, actually read his notebook before signing it. super-fast, I guess, because he’s the best. but yeah, so he knew exactly how smart and observant Deku was, and how much he wanted to be a hero. his decision to pick him as his successor didn’t just come out of the blue; even before the “my body moved on its own” thing, there was a lot Deku had going in his favor. this is one of those little details of which BnHA has so many, and which I love

lmao what the fuck

ngl this version of the series would have been amazing in its own way. but yeah. so this is why we clearly can’t assume everything in Smash!! is canon lol. but I can already tell I am going to enjoy the shit out of this series

now we’re cutting to Deku running at Sludgey in order to save Kacchan, oh shit. the most dramatic part of chapter one. clearly no moment is sacred

sob what

I don’t understand this strip at all. is this supposed to be a serious moment inserted unexpectedly among this multitude of joke strips? or did I miss the punchline? heeeeelp

(ETA: okay so. my best guess is that All Might wrote all over Deku’s life-saving advice, and so the joke is that Deku no longer knows what to do when assaulting sludge men because HIS NOTES ARE RUINED. idk. what does 25 P mean??)

now All Might has Done The Thing and saved my boys, and now Mt. Lady is helping with the cleanup. scooping up all the bits of sludge and putting it in trash bags

oh my god

nope nevermind. nope. nope

-- shit. okay, you know what? this first chapter has been a real in-your-face reminder of the fact that the sludge monster was not made of cute sparkly 2018-trending-fad slime, but was in fact composed of RAW FUCKING SEWAGE. (ETA: to be clear, I’m pretty sure the joke in this strip is that she accidentally picked up dog-doo during her clean-up. but still, the fact that it was indistinguishable from the rest of the gunk speaks for itself.) I think I forced myself to gloss over this fact originally due to the nope factor. but just. Izuku and Katsuki were both choking to death on this shit?? and just, how the fuck did they make it out of this not traumatized

and also, like. All Might was straight up going to leave Izuku alone afterwards, just, “well enjoy your autograph, fine citizen” and blasting off out of there. and everyone fucking saw Katsuki almost suffocate to death later on, and after giving him a pat on the back they fucking let him go off on his own too? and you can’t even make the argument that this was Just Another Day In Quirk Society either, because more than a year later, Katsuki is still a bona fide fucking celebrity from the media coverage of his attack. it clearly was not something that happens every day. in conclusion, these kids are resilient as fuck, and thank god for that because people apparently just do not give a shit, holy christ

anyway. at least Mt. Lady had gloves

OH MY GOD

I FUCKING KNEW IT OH MY GOD. THE ROIDS. MUSCLES LIKE THAT DON’T JUST GROW ON TREES, I DON’T CARE HOW MANY LBS OF GARBAGE THIS KID HAULED OFF THE BEACH. THIS BOY BEEN HITTIN THE JUICE

Smash!!Might is so fucking shady omfg. probably sells cheap counterfeit electronics on Amazon

oh shit and that’s the end of the fucking chapter lol. that’s it?? that was only eight pages. fuck it, let’s read another. but first here’s Horikoshi’s note on the spin-off

so he really feels that Neda gets the spirit of the series and understands him. that’s very encouraging. the best spoofs and parodies are done out of love. I really think I’m going to enjoy this series

so! onward to chapter two

so here’s All Might dressed as Mr. 2 Bon Clay from One Piece, I guess??

“you know what’s funny? dressing a man in girl’s clothes LOL.” guys can we grow the fuck up. and also acknowledge that All Might can look good in anything, so this questionable gag wouldn’t have even landed anyway. you work that tutu All Might

lmao check out the past users of OFA here

All for One for All theory fucking confirmed lol. just look. that’s him in the back of the conga line. clearly

so Deku is all “hell yes why would I possibly say no??” but then

HIS LIMBS. lmao. sign here

in all seriousness, given the shit this kid has been through since the part of the series, All Might probably should have gotten him to sign a liability waiver of some sort. not that it would have stood, since Deku is underage! anyways Deku you totally have grounds to sue the shit out of the Symbol of Peace should you ever choose to do so. and the trend of Smash!!Might being shady af continues yes please give me more I love it

so now All Might is giving Deku his fitness plan which has a really elaborate name

given that this is Smash!!Might, I can’t help but wonder if this plan is in actuality some sort of MLM scheme. All Might are you trying to get Deku to do Herbalife

lol what in the fuck

the original series skipped right over a hell of a lot, it would seem. like the time Deku traveled to Arizona and fought coyotes in a poncho

I’m starting to suspect that Neda-sensei might be on some sort of substance. “let’s see what jokes can I make about chapter 2 of BnHA. I know, I’ll send the protagonist to a fictionalized version of the American Southwest in a sombrero, and then turn him into a 65-year-old oil tycoon.” naturally

lmao that’s really it, that’s the strip. moving right along. okay??

now Izuku is staring at the intimidating piles of Beach Trash and is all “I HAVE TO PICK ALL THIS SHIT UP?”

omg Deku no

somebody call Marie Kondo. Deku none of this is salvageable. not even to reuse in a color page photoshoot spread four years from now

OH SHIT

PROVED ME WRONG OH SNAP. SHOWED ME RIGHT WHERE I COULD PUT THOSE SASSY TAKES. MY BAD DEKU I’M SORRY

anyways I don’t know what Smash!!Might is so upset about. he probably wove some kind of clause into the contract Deku signed that allows him a percentage of the profits. unless Deku already spent it all on textbooks

what the fuck is this fucking series lmao

time for a round of “what is All Might casually crushing in this panel?” is it (a) a cardboard box, or (b) like, a mini-fridge or some fucking shit. IT COULD BE EITHER. IT MAKES EQUALLY AS MUCH SENSE EITHER WAY. “HEROES THESE DAYS ARE [FLEEEEEEX] OBSESSED WITH BEING FLASHY” 

holy shit no wonder he ran away to the Sierra Nevada. it’s only a matter of time before this freak fucking kills someone

NOW WE’RE CUTTING AWAY TO KAMUI WOODS DRESSED LIKE A DAFFODIL, IN THE SAME FUCKING COMIC STRIP, BECAUSE REASONS

my jokes about the mangaka being high as a fucking kite when he wrote this are gradually becoming less jokes and more serious inquiries??

lol so he coincidentally just stumbled across All Might and Deku at this exact moment

AND IT WAS A FUCKING REFRIGERATOR OH MY FUCKING GOD

do you guys remember during the final exam when All Might beat the everloving shit out of Deku and Kacchan, and everyone was all “JESUS CHRIST WOULD YOU LEARN TO FUCKING HOLD BACK A LITTLE THEY ARE CHILDREN YOU MANIAC.” but now we can see plain as day that he was, in fact, holding back. anyways Smash!!Might is terrifying as shit and if this had been the main series I would have already pegged him as the final villain by this point

here he is now wearing an old-timey bathing suit but looking more like an escaped convict than anything else

this panel is actually canon. I’ve decided. this 100% definitely happened at some point. especially the swimsuit

now two bikini babes are walking up and they’re all “IS THAT ALL MIGHT??” with excited sparkly eyes because they don’t know that he’s actually a deranged con artist who crushes refrigerators like empty soda cans. this spin-off has truly opened my eyes

LOOK AT THIS SKEEVY FUCK. JUST LOOK

AND NOW HE’S RUNNING OFF AND LEAVING DEKU TO DROWN IN EXHAUSTION, SON OF A

“SUDDEN BUSINESS” KSJLDKF SMASH!!MIGHT IS A FUCKING MENACE TO SOCIETY AND ALSO DOES NOT GIVE ONE SINGLE FUCK. NOT ONE!! HE’S OUT THERE FUCKLESS, AND NO ONE IS SAFE

now Deku is approaching his mom all serious and says he wants to change up his diet

and she’s looking at the menu he prepared all impressed and thinking that she might join him. as long as it’s for your health, Inko. if this manga starts making jokes about your weight, I will beat it over the head with Deku’s textbooks

OMFG

THIS WENT IN THE EXACT OPPOSITE DIRECTION I WAS EXPECTING, AND THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING I’VE EVER READ WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. the whole fucking family is on the juice. and the fucking mangaka is on some special juice of his own oh my stars

now we’re cutting to Mt. Lady stomping on a car

thank fuck no one was actually in there. also does she not wear shoes

and also, it only just occurred to me that she must be another person with a special quirk costume, because her suit shrinks and expands along with her. Hagakure and Momo are really getting shafted by the costume design team here. they need to fire some people

anyway so Mt. Lady slipped on this carelessly placed vehicle and fell down and crushed an entire building whoops

bruh, you think you’re “ow.” let’s hope that building was empty too

and now she’s toppling another building just fucking because, I guess. and saying she can’t do urban areas

lmao and now the sidekick [CENSORED] manager from chapter one is back to guilt-trip her omg

I need this man to show up in every freaking chapter. please. respect my wishes

and now Izuku is standing on top of his collected pile of garbage screaming in victory

I only just realized that there’s still a big old Pile O’ Trash on this beach, though. someone needs to haul all of this junk away. or else get All Might and Mt. Lady to crush it all with a combined effort

oh shit here it comes y’all, the famous “eat my hair” scene. potential comedy gold right here omg

lol what the fuck

this man is a fucking billionaire and he’s out here clipping coupons and deleting pictures of his son in order to make room for them smdh

okay now we’re doing the hair scene

oh. oh no. I know where this is going sob please keep this comic rated PG for the children Neda

motherfucker they really --

Smash!!Might is a straight-up felon. this man has no fucking scruples. that’s okay Midoriya-shounen, if you don’t want to eat my hair we could just try some REDACTED, jesus christ I am going to need some bleach for my eyes after this

OR LET’S JUST STRAIGHT UP GO THERE WHY NOT

lmao sob. well, two chapters in and we’ve established that no territory is off-limits here. it’s a brave new world. wow

 so that’s it! our introduction to BnHA Smash!! I enjoyed it a lot and I will definitely be reading more! I’m not sure what kind of schedule I’ll keep, but this is a really good procrastination manga thus far, so knowing me I might actually work my way through this relatively quickly. especially since the Manga At Large is on break this week. anyways my deepest apologies to the many people who have been requesting for me to start Vigilantes instead. I just need something lighter right now, and this is a good fit. one of these days I’ll get my shit together with the other two spinoffs as well.

[tbrooke1230]

Blind Date (H.S.) part two

Lol I’m impatient and went ahead and wrote a second part since the first was really short. I don’t know how many parts there will be, depends on my mood haha. Feedback is still appreciated and requests are open! 

word count: 1097 (wayyy longer than the first lol)

Part One Part Three Part Four Part Five

"So, wasn't I right?" My best friend Y/F/N asks. She spoons another bite of frozen yogurt into her mouth before putting her attention back on me.

"You were right." I say not able to fight the smile that crept onto my face.

"Yes!" She yells excitedly with a fist pump into the air.

"But," I start my sentence.

"But?" Y/F/N’s eyebrows come together in a frown. She leans over the table egging me to go on.

"But, he never did anything." I say struggling to find the right words.

"Did anything?" She questions.

"Yeah, like he never asked to see me again, or asked for my number." I say moving the plastic spoon over my own cup of frozen yogurt.

"Oh." She seems disappointed. I can't blame her though. I was a little disappointed too. Y/F/N has been trying to set me up for months, but it never ends the way she had hoped. Don't get me wrong, she has good intentions. She makes sure that I would at least like the guy's personality before setting me up.

"You didn't think to at least ask for his number?" She questions continuing to stir the plastic green spoon around her bowl.

"Have you met me? Of course, I didn't think to do that. Even if I had I wouldn't of had the courage to do it." I say slumping in my seat. She glances up and lets out, what I find to be an annoyed sigh.

"Oh, I know. I was just teasing you." She says setting her elbows on the table. I look up at her before sitting up a little. No need to pout about it.

" Well, I guess I'll just have to find another one." A smile is now back on her lips. I roll my eyes at her response.

"I'd rather just take a break from your countless setups for a while." I say copying her position and leaning on the table.

"Fair enough, but don't think I won't stop looking." She smirks. "Now get up, this money isn't going to spend itself!" She gets up from her metal chair and tosses the cup and spoon in the trash. I take one last spoonful before copying her actions and exiting the small shop.

We walk throughout the mall stopping in certain stores here and there. Within an hour's time, Y/F/N's arms are covered in various shopping bags while I carry my two.

"You really should have gotten that dress at the last store." She says glancing over a window display at American Eagle.

"I would have never worn it." I say taking my phone out from my back pocket to check it. I don't know exactly what I'm checking for. The time maybe?

"Well, you looked great in it. Nice date material if I do say so myself." She says now entering the store. I huff and follow her in tired of walking and shopping overall.

"I'm don't plan on going on any dates anytime soon." I respond shifting through the racks to busy myself.

"You say that now." She sighs taking a shirt off of the rack to get a better look. She holds it up looking at me. I nod my head and she adds it to the stack of clothes in her arms.

"I'm going to go try these on." Y/F/N says referring to the stack. "Are you gonna try on anything?"

"Eh, I don't think so. I'll just wait for you out here." She nods and enters the changing rooms. I lean against the wall outside once again taking out my phone. I'm scrolling through Instagram liking photos here and there. I sigh before returning my phone into my back pocket. Y/F/N comes out in a pair of jean shorts and an off the shoulder top. She turns in front of me giving me a full view of the outfit.

"Cute right?" She asks taking another look in the mirror.

"Definitely." I say giving her a small smile. She looks over at me before entering the dressing room once again.

"Don't worry, I'm almost done. I can tell you want to leave." She says with a small laugh.

"Take your time." I say although I want anything less for her to take her time. I glance around the busy store taking everything in. My eyes fall over the men's section when I hear a familiar voice.

"Do these come in black?" The man asks holding up a pair of blue jeans to one of the workers.

"They do, but I'm afraid that we don't have them in stock at the moment."

"Oh ok. Thanks." The voice responds coming closer. The owner of the voice finally comes into view and my heart leaps out of my chest. That curly hair could be recognized anywhere and matched with a button up shirt and dark skinny jeans, it was unmistakable. I glance both ways before quickly running into the dressing room.

"Y/F/N!" I whisper-shout once I get to where all the doors are.

"What?" She asks poking her head through one of the rooms. I run over and push my way into the room with her before closing the door behind me.

"Y/N? What the hell?" She asks somewhat annoyed but mostly concerned.

"He's here." I manage to get out. My heart feels like it might jump out of my chest at any moment.

"He? Who's he?" She asks still not putting two and two together.

"Harry!" I say a little more loudly than I would have liked.

"Then what are you doing in here?" Her voice is a little more high-pitched than usual.

"What do you mean? I can't go up to him!" I answer like it was the most obvious answer in the world. She rolls her eyes at my response.

"Oh, c'mon Y/N, you obviously liked him a lot. That could've been your chance!" She says quickly getting dressed in her own clothes. She grabs the pile of clothes once again and takes them and me out of the small room. She shoves most of the clothes into one the worker's hands before continuing to pull me out of the area. We enter the store area once again and she looks around obviously looking for a head of curly locks.

"He's probably not here anymore." I mumble behind her. She releases my wrist from her grasp before puffing out a breath of air.

"Damn." She sighs. Without another word, she makes her way to the counter to make her purchases. I join her as she pays and then we make our way out of the store.

"Y/N, that could've been fate back there."

[imalifegen89]

A Legacy Left Behind - Chapter 7 - When the Past Unfurls - Part I

Part - 2

Makani's Market

Honolulu

The taxi dropped them off by the small grocery shop where Steve’s dad had been doing his shopping. Steve saw his dad’s old Ford parked three spots away from the entrance. He walked over, using the key he got from his dad before they left, to unlock the vehicle. He threw his duffel into the back seat and motioned Danny to do the same with his. Then he checked around the truck, running his hands over in some areas and at times bending over and kneeling, carrying a thorough visual inspection. It’d been parked here for almost a day and Steve didn’t want to take any chances.

Satisfied with the vehicle's condition, he turned to enter the shop. A hidden bell jingled, announcing his visit as he opened the door.

“Why don’t you go and grab us a few cases of beer? I’ll go over and get some food,” Steve suggested to Danny and took off to the food and snacks section. Danny walked away to the other side in search of alcohol.

They both met at the register after a few minutes laden with their purchases. An elderly Hawaiin native with white hair and a friendly smile greeted them from behind the till.

“Aloha, how much for all these?” Steve asked, piling up everything on the counter. The man rang it up and presented Steve with a tally which he settled with a credit card.

“Listen, my name’s Steve McGarrett, my father was here yesterday evening and he got very sick. He told me you guys helped him to get over to the hospital quickly,” Steve opened up the conversation as Danny collected their stuff and went out to put them in the truck.

“Ah yes, I remember. I’ve known the Captain for a long time.” The old man grinned showing a raw of uneven and less-than-white teeth. “And you are his son? It’s very nice to meet you! Is the Captain alright?”

“We’re just coming back from the hospital. Thanks to what you did, he got there on time and he’s doing okay now,” Steve smiled, letting the genuine gratitude he felt show through.

“Please, there is no need to thank us. It was the least we could do. He came in to buy groceries, as he always does just before the weekend and he was over there, next to the vegetable aisle. He was standing there one moment and falling over the next. I saw it happen, but I was here and wasn’t going to reach him on time,” the man’s expression darkened as he recalled what happened.

It was clear to Steve that this old shop owner cared about his regular customer. Steve figured that he must have seen his dad in uniform - or maybe even they were friendly enough that John McGarrett must’ve told this gentleman what he did since he kept referring to him as ‘Captain.’

“Lucky for him, the pretty girl he was talking to, caught him before he hit the ground. Then she called over saying he was unconscious and I dialed 911. Then I went over to him to check for myself, and yes, he was out cold. The ambulance showed up shortly after and took him to the hospital,” the shop owner finished.

“What pretty girl?” Warning bells started to go off in Steve’s mind as he latched onto that bit of information. For some insane reason, he thought he knew exactly who had been talking to his father.

“Please tell me it was a cute, blonde with blue eyes about yay height?” Danny, who had joined them during the old man’s recounting of the story, asked. He was pointing at a height that reached his chest.

“No, not really,” the man smiled at him. “She was a very beautiful girl. I’d say about your height or maybe slightly taller? With long brown hair and brown eyes,” he informed Danny earnestly. “Such a nice girl she was too. She didn’t leave Captain’s side until the medics got here. I had to deal with a customer and had to come back to the till,” he looked at Steve apologetically.

“Any chance you have a security camera in here that caught the incident?”

“What he means is, maybe we know her, you know? Or maybe if we see her around, he can thank her for doing what she did.” Danny intervened smoothly, seeing as the shopkeeper was taken aback by Steve’s tone. He could see the younger SEAL had gone into Operator-mode.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t have a security camera for the aisles. Only one here above me pointed at the register and one at the entrance.” He was starting to sound a little frightened.

“It’s alright, I’m sorry for snapping at you. It’s just what happened to my dad was so sudden and it’s got me worried. If I can find this lady, maybe she can tell me more about what happened to him, you know? Because she was talking to him at the time,” Steve caught on to Danny’s warning and told the shopkeeper contritely. “Would you mind letting us see the footage from the entrance camera?” he asked in a tone he hoped came across with the right amount of pleading.

The man’s expression softened, understanding the concern and worry Steve was projecting. “It's in the backroom. Please, follow me,” he left the register and went through a door that was behind the counter, keeping the door open to let Steve and Danny enter. Then he went over to the two monitors that were on the small desk and pointed at the left screen.

“This is the entrance camera. My son changes the tape every two days or so. He hasn’t changed this one yet, so if you reverse it, you might probably see what you need,” he told them looking at the screen doubtfully. It was clear that he didn’t have much knowledge of the system. But the fact that he was still willing to let them go through it, told them a lot about the kind, old man.

“I appreciate this very much, sir. We only need to see my dad and his lady friend. I’ll make sure to leave it turned back to the live footage once we’re done here, mahalo.” Steve assured the man as he dragged the single steel chair closer to the desk to sit. Then he started reversing the footage back to the time he guessed his father entered the shop. Danny came to stand behind him and the shopkeeper went near the door to stand there, where he could keep an eye on his shop.

“You are the son of the Captain. I’m sure it’s fine and hopefully, you will find what you are looking for,” said the old man.

Steve wasn’t sure whether he was trying to convince himself or them. In any case, he only wanted to confirm his suspicions. He had no intention of messing up the kind shopkeeper’s security system.

Steve found what he was looking for, five minutes into the feed. The footage had the time stamp as 15.25 hrs when John McGarrett entered the shop. Exactly four minutes after, the clear shot of Rollins could be seen entering the shop, carrying a big, black, handbag on her shoulder. She walked towards the entrance purposefully and looked to both left and right before stepping inside, giving the security camera a clear image of her face unknowingly.

Danny let out a soft whistle and tapped Steve on the back once. Steve reset the system to its previous setting and left the room. He thanked the shopkeeper for his help again and they both left the shop soon after that without saying a word.

McGarrett Home

Honolulu

Hawaii

“Either you have a major stalker problem or that was one hell of a coincidence.” Danny reflected as he pulled a long gulp from his chilled Longboard.

He was staring at the lazy waves coming back to hug the shore. The salty afternoon breeze did a lot to tone down the heat and he found himself relaxing, laying on the comfy wooden deck chair on Steve’s lanai. He had taken his shoes and socks off and folded his jeans up to his knees, letting his bare feet rest on the soft sand on the beach.

……….

It had only taken five minutes for them to return to Steve’s place. Neither had talked on the way, each of them thinking through the chain of events that led them to Hawaii and where it could potentially lead them. Once they had gotten home, Danny had taken the task of sorting out their purchases while Steve took time to go through the house, carrying a visual inspection like he did with his dad’s truck. He had known that there was no way he could do a thorough search since neither of them had their usual gear. But he had checked all the rooms, the garage, and the yard nevertheless. They hadn’t said much to each other while going about their self-appointed tasks, preferring caution in case the house was bugged. They had chosen Steve’s lanai on the beach as a private and much safer place to have this conversation.

……….

Danny studied the SEAL sitting right next to him on the other deck chair, with his bare feet propped up on the small wooden stool in front of them. Steve had an open beer resting on the armrest as he continued to take on the view before him.

“You remember what Joe used to call the ‘coincidences’?”

“Yeah, something about it taking a lot of work and planning to make one happen?” Danny answered Steve. He had an inkling as to where the younger man was going with this. He took another long pull from his beer.

“I’m thinking there's a good chance that she had something to do with whatever happened to dad. Then she decided to hang around the hospital to see what would happen next. I’m also thinking, that would mean there’s even a better chance she’s connected to one of our bad guys,” said Steve, finally taking a sip from his beer.

“I was thinking about something she said earlier. I couldn’t place it then, but it sort of hit me on the way back. She said, ‘I thought you guys were in Colorado?’” Danny mimicked the overly cheerful Rollins and managed a surprisingly decent likeness. “She wasn’t supposed to know where we went, was she? I’m pretty sure Colonel Sumner never mentioned it,” he straightened from his sprawl on the chair to properly look at Steve.

“No, she shouldn’t have known where we went,” Steve answered. “You know, if we continue along this line of thought, I’d say this could even explain why our snake-heads and the life-suckers here on earth have been very quiet recently. Kusanagi and her team are tracking those sats 24/7 and nothing so far,” He turned to face Danny. “Say, if this woman were to call them and tell them what we knew, it would make sense for them to fly under the radar for a while, don’t you think?”

“Taking this thread even further, it could also mean what happened with your dad might be the opening act of them coming out to play. Maybe they are done flying under the radar,” Danny said contemplatively.

Then he finished his beer and fished another one from the case that was sitting on the beach between the chairs. He did not like where this was going and he could already sense the impending threat that was about to fall on them.

“Yeah.”

The one-word agreement from Steve didn’t help to alleviate Danny’s concerns either. “How long do we have, you think?” he asked, tamping down the trepidation he was beginning to feel.

The entire conversation had taken a turn for the worse and he lamented the loss of the nice relaxing feeling that the beach, the sound of the waves, and the beer had created.

He knew that Steve had already thought the whole thing through, maybe from the moment he saw the footage from the shop, or maybe even the moment they had bumped into Catherine Rollins. Steve always had certain instincts about people and Danny knew from experience that he tended to be more right than wrong. The Lieutenant had annoyed Steve from the start and Danny was starting to believe that the younger SEAL may have sensed something off about her from the beginning, even if he hadn’t known it at the time. He hoped that Steve had some sort of a plan to deal with whatever was about to come their way.

Steve took time drinking his beer as he collected his thoughts to answer Danny’s question. He knew his friend was not going to like what he was about to reveal.

“Look, they’ve had enough opportunities to kill us if that’s what they wanted,” he started to explain his theory. “I’m guessing that since they went through this elaborate plot to get us here, they’d want to take us alive,”

“You’re guessing, hah? That doesn't make me feel better, Steve,” Danny interrupted. “Since when do you know what goes inside the mind of a snake-head?” He wanted to get moving. The way Steve was taking his sweet time to explain things as if he were a college professor conducting a lecture was getting on his nerves.

“Danny, Wo Fat is MSS.* I've seen his interrogation feed from Libya and I could tell by the way he moved and acted. So whatever Snake they infected him with, there’s a good chance they’re going to use his knowledge as a spy to conduct a snatch & grab out in the open, if that is their plan,” Steve revealed matter-of-factly.

Danny felt his mouth drop open. He had no idea that Steve had clearance for those feeds. But it made sense when he thought about it. If what Steve said was true - which Danny believed was the case - they probably did have a decent chance at guessing how things would go down.

“Well, what if it’s the Wraith? Did you think about that?” Danny had to ask, playing the devil's advocate. This whole conversation was pure guesswork bordering on paranoia and he had to sound things out with the other SEAL, before jumping into action.

“Come on man, you’ve seen those things. There’s no way they can blend in with normal people. Plus, you think they’d take a chance after what happened in Afghanistan, or Gemmond? Nah, I think they’d use the Goa’uld for something like this.” Steve remarked with surety and sipped his beer, looking completely relaxed. He projected an innocent image of just-a-guy-having-a-beer-after-a-tiring-day for all the world to see. Danny knew better.

“Ok fine. Go on, what’s next?” he had a feeling he was going to hate whatever half-brained plan the guy was sure to have concocted in his mind.

“If it was me, I’d want all of us, you, me and my dad, to leverage against each other,” Steve started to explain as he mentally constructed the events the enemy would initiate.

“So we go back, grab your dad and go somewhere else!” Danny exclaimed incredulously. How hard could that be?

“Still, all of us together. You think they’ll let us go just like that? We don’t know what they are capable of or willing to do, to complete their objective,”

“What the hell are you getting at, McGarrett?” Danny knew this was where the man came out with the real-shitty part of his plan. He could see the reasoning and had to admit that Steve did have a point. But he most definitely didn't have to like this plan, whatever it was.

“I want us to split up,” Steve was studiously avoiding eye contact, staring at the ocean instead, sipping his beer leisurely. As if he hadn’t just suggested the most idiotic thing in the whole freaking world!

“No.” Said Danny resolutely and dropped his second empty bottle to the ground. He didn’t even want to elaborate on his denial of this stupidity.

“Listen to me,” Steve started, placatingly.

“Nope,” Danny shook his head vehemently. “Nope, nope.”

“Danny, for god's sake, if they take us all together, they can easily use us against each other. When we split up, we force them to split up as well. That way, we increase our chances of getting away,” Steve snapped, a hint of command entering his tone.

Danny knew that Steve would make it an order in a heartbeat if he continued this refusal. The Lieutenant Commander was a stubborn asshole when he had his mind made up on something.

“Here’s a better idea, dumbass - we call the SGC - get back-up, and catch the assholes in one fell swoop! Then we ask them nicely what the hell they think they’re doing!”

Danny had to consciously keep his voice from increasing as he continued to argue with Steve. The chance was there that they were under surveillance; so they had to keep up the illusion that they were just sitting on the beach having day-to-day chitchat. But he wasn’t giving up that easily and Danny could match Steve’s stubbornness, especially when he knew that the crazy fucker was preparing to do something drastic.

The sad smile that spread over Steve’s face did nothing to reduce Danny’s agitation. In fact, it increased the impending sense of doom.

“What?” he hissed.

“The landline isn't working, and it has nothing to do with the cable in the house or the connection. I think they disabled it from outside. Also, we don’t have any cell signals. They probably dealt with the local tower as well.” Steve informed Danny.

“WHAT?” Danny exploded. Then he remembered to tone down the volume. “Fuck! How? When?” he asked softly, whipping his cell phone out and checking for himself. Sure enough, there were no signal bars.

“I only found out when I checked the house earlier. I’m thinking even now, we are under surveillance,” Steve shrugged and looked around. “And I’m pretty sure they’re going to make their move very soon.”

They couldn’t see anything obvious, but the tension around them had definitely gone up. Danny felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up in response to the possibility of being watched by unknown and unseen entities.

“What the hell are we gonna do?” He asked, grudgingly accepting the fact that he was going to have to carry out a part in whatever Steve had come up with.

The SEAL wordlessly produced a set of car keys from his shirt pocket and dropped it on the palm Danny extended on reflex.

He stared at the keys in his hand for a few seconds. “What the fuck is this?”

“This is the key to my truck. I’ve checked it, there are no signs of sabotage. Take it and go. You’ll have a tail and they’ll most likely guess you are heading to the hospital. So, don’t make any sudden moves, don’t let them know we are onto them. Call dad as soon as you get a signal and ask him to get ready to leave,” Steve dictated the ops plan the same way he had done countless other times. But this time was nothing like any of those. There were just the two of them against an unknown number of enemies - alien enemies. “My guess is they’d make a move on the two of you when you’re there. They might not want to risk letting you two drive away. So be prepared for traps and try to make a few distractions without directly engaging. We don’t know what they’d do and we really don’t need to put anyone else in danger. Once you have my dad, call SGC and bail.”

“And what will you be doing while I’m out there playing John McLean, hah?” Danny asked heatedly. He was yet to hear the craziest bit of this ridiculous plan.

“Playing the bait of course,” Steve smirked, deliberately pushing Danny’s buttons. Danny scowled.

“I have a feeling I know why they went through this whole drama. I’m going to stay right here and keep the majority of them occupied while you get my dad to safety,” said Steve confidently.

“Why can’t you take off as well, Steve? Why the hell should you be here?” Danny couldn’t understand. Steve had a much better chance if he was out and mobile as well.

“Because as I said earlier, Danny, I don’t want to find out the lengths they’re willing to go to get us. I can minimize the possible collateral damage if I stay put,” Steve explained patiently. Danny was sure he was going to run out of that patience soon.

So he let out a heavy sigh and started to straighten his pant legs. Then he got busy putting his socks and shoes on. “This is the shittiest fucking plan you’ve ever come up with so far, McGarrett,” he felt the need to mention as he finished tying up his shoelaces.

“I’m open to suggestions,” Steve opened his arms wide, inviting Danny to contribute.

“I already made the suggestion, we both get the hell out together,” Danny started, knowing full well how Steve was going to counter.

“And then what? let them grab dad and use him as a hostage? You know that bitch is probably still there, right?” As expected, Steve cut him off, reminding him that there was at least one known enemy already in the scene.

“We do it your way and they have a good chance of grabbing you as a hostage,” Danny stood up and turned to look Steve squarely in the eye. He knew Steve could see the concern in his expression.

“Well, we all have sub-q transmitters in us, don’t we? SGC’d know where I am all the time,”.

Steve was banking on the fact that they’d grab him and take him to one of their hidden bases. It would be the easiest way for the SGC to locate their hidey-hole since they hadn’t been very keen on showing their faces lately. But Of course, there was always a chance the enemy might know about the transmitter and dispose of it. But he didn’t want to say that out loud, further upsetting his friend.

Then he watched Danny walking away towards the house, still muttering to himself. He knew Danny wasn’t happy at all about any of this. Neither was Steve.

The moment he had discovered the trouble with phone lines and the cell signals, it confirmed the suspicions that had been brewing in his mind since he had spoken to his dad. All these seemingly innocuous yet unusual incidents had started to point to a much serious threat when put together.

Steve was still very much concerned for his dad’s health. This plan of his included taking John McGarrett from where he was supposed to be resting into a potentially very dangerous situation. But he didn’t know what else to do to get his dad to safety. He trusted Danny completely and knew he’d try his damndest to do what Steve wanted him to. That was going to have to be enough.

He could feel the anger he had been ruthlessly suppressing, at those things that had involved his family in their plans, trying to resurface. He took a few deep breaths and pushed it aside. He needed to be clear-headed if he was going to make it hard for these assholes to get to him.

Steve continued to sit there drinking his beer, listening to the growling engine as Danny finally took off as instructed. Then he took out his phone and inspected the screen. There were still no signal bars. He got up from his chair then, mentally planning a list of things he needed to take care of, starting from plugging his phone into a charger, before the bad guys decided to show up at his house uninvited.

[kazosa]

Second Chances - Jeff x Reader: Chapter 17

Summary: Reader and Jeff work a project and become fast friends. The project ends and they go their separate ways, neither forgetting the other. With Hollywood being a small community, you two bump into one another either at events or projects, but there is always something keeping you apart. Will the obstacles ever end? Chapter 17 Summary: Norman stops by, trip plans, reader reveals about her family Warnings: language (as usual), smidge of fluff A/N: Please leave comments or let me know if you want to be tagged, etc Word count: 1850(ish) Catch up here: Masterlist Tags: @jml509  @jasoncrouse  @yellatthetopofyourlungs  @bookchic20  @prettyepiic  @rizflo-blog  @curious-sub7  @backseat-negan  @warriorqueen1991

     Finally, it got to be the end of May and that meant that your movie was done and you were back in the states and Jeff was done with TV season. You had two amazing weeks together of doing absolutely nothing and it was perfect. On one particularly lazy, late morning, you both were just lying in bed watching a movie when Jeff’s cell phone rang.      He picked up his phone, looked at the display and flipped it open.      “Norman, what’s up, bubba?” he said.      Ever since Norman had gone down to Burbank to help you with the Norton, you and Jeff had him over for a few weekends here and there, especially after he and Helena ended things. He was nice to hang out with, easy to talk to, good listener. He and Jeff would spend a lot of time either riding bikes or they would go out for drinks; you usually went with them for the drinks. Those nights out were a lot of fun, but the mornings after were rough. You liked Norman a lot. He was quiet, very warm and such a flirt. You thought of him as a friend and that made Jeff happy, too.      “What’s wrong? Is he okay?” you whispered.      Jeff held up his finger to quiet you, he looked like he was straining to hear Norman. “Yeah buddy, be right there.” He flipped the phone shut.      Jeff looked at you, “Norman is here, needs a place to stay while he’s working.”      “Like here, here?” you asked. Jeff nodded. “Shit,” you sprang out of bed and ran your fingers through your hair. Jeff followed right behind you as you went jogging to the front door. You turned the locks and opened the door for Norman.      He gave you a once over and you were painfully aware that you hadn’t gotten out of bed all day. You had on one of Jeff’s funny t-shirts, shorts, and that was it.     

     Jeff watched as his buddy checked out his girlfriend. Norman always appreciated a gorgeous lady and (Y|N) fit that easily, especially looking the way she did just then. Hair all messy, wearing his t-shirt, her shorts barely showing making her legs look like they went on for days, and they did, sexy as all hell. It made Jeff happy that his best girl got on so well with his best buddy. He watched as she welcomed him in with a hug. Norman was all too happy to accept the hug and Jeff smirked when Norman flipped him off while he hugged (Y|N). Norm just grinned back.

     You knew Norman liked you too, but you’d made it clear Jeff was your boyfriend and he came back with, “I know, but I’m still gonna flirt with you.”      Well then… “Okay, so long as you know, I’m in love with him,” you said.      “Don’t worry (Y|N), I think it’s great you’re with him. He’s damn near beaming. It’s almost gross how cute you two are,” he said.        He was faking his disgust and you socked him in the shoulder.

     “Sweetie,” you said to him, “we’re going to go on a trip soon, will you be okay here by yourself?”      “Oh man, I’m sorry, I shoulda called sooner. Do you want me to go somewhere else?” he was turning a little pink.      “Norman, we’d never ask you to leave, I just want to make sure you’re okay on your own. You can call us any time if you need to talk. But we’re gonna leave in a couple days,” you explained.      “Nah, you guys go, I’ll be fine. Things are okay with me and Helena,” he said. “Just bring me back something cool.”      You smiled at him. Norman was an odd duck and you liked that about him.      “Make yourself at home,” you told him.      He already had, actually. Norman had spent a lot of time with you and Jeff over the last year and the spare room was now referred to as “Norman’s room” by you both.

     The two days passed quickly and you were glad Norman had been there. If there was anything that Norman was good at, it was being a distraction. The trip you were going to take had been put off for almost five months. You could have stood to have it put off much longer, but if you’d tried to tell that to Jeff, he would have said it had been put off too long, already.      “You ready, sweetheart?” he said making sure the sure the bags were secured to the roof of the Jeep.      “I… I need to go tell Norman something,” you said and started to walk away.      “(Y|N),” Jeff’s voice was firm and it made you stop. “You already told Norm everything…twice. Get in, please.”      Bisou was getting impatient and let out a low ‘woof.’ You got in the Jeep on the passenger side and Bisou gave you a very wet kiss on the side of your face and part of your ear. You reached up your left hand and rubbed her face and neck.      “Sit back, baby,” you told her.      You watched her as she did what she was told. The big dog settled on the back seat, looking all around out the windows. Oh, the joy of being a dog and NOT knowing where you were going, just being happy to be going for a ride.      Jeff climbed in and you almost laughed at how cramped he looked, but you were too anxious to think about it. He reached down and slid the seat the rest of the way back and tipped the seatback a little as well. When he finally got comfortable, he looked at you. He was so excited. You tried to smile for him.      “My parents are going to love you,” he said, finally starting your Jeep.      You were sure, without a shadow of a doubt, that Richard and Sandy Morgan were the two scariest people on the face of the planet, not even Jeff would be able to convince you otherwise. You were finally going to go up to Washington to meet Jeff’s parents. From what you understood, this was something that normal people in normal relationships did. You’d never had such a relationship before. When you were in high school, you didn’t really date anyone, just a few trips to the movies that never really amounted to much. There was just way too much family stuff going on to even think about serious dating. Besides, if you had, you’d come from such a small town that you already knew everyone’s parents. College wasn’t much better.      And now, you sat in the passenger seat of your Jeep with the intention of being a real adult and meeting the parents of the man you loved. Terrified didn’t even touch what you were feeling. You were going to do everything in your power to make sure Jeff drove slow and did some sight-seeing.      “I sure hope so,” was all you could manage to say.

     It was after the second fill-up and after your repeated requests to stop for the night and get dinner that Jeff ultimately asked you questions that had been bothering him for a long while, something you had been avoiding for just as long.      “Are you secretly wealthy?” he said bluntly. “Money never seems to be a concern for you. Are you a trust baby? Why don’t you ever talk about your family?”      You knew you couldn’t avoid it forever and you were in the Jeep with him for at least another day. You figured you may as well tell him.      “Am I secretly wealthy? No, not secretly and not especially wealthy either. My grandparents were really smart. My grandma was an accountant and Grandpa was in construction, that was a really good business to be in back then. She managed the shit-load of money that he brought in and grew it. When they died,” you heard your voice hitch, it always did when you thought about them. “When they died, they had a sizeable…estate, I guess… I didn’t get to touch it until I was 25 or my parents died.”      You looked over at Jeff and knew he was doing the math. You’d be 25 in just a few days and in the almost 5 years since you’d met, you’d never talked about your family and if you had, it was only in little scraps. He knew your parents weren’t in your life, but he didn’t know why, you were sure he suspected though.      “Grandpa died when I was 14. Grandma and my dad died suddenly when I was 16. Mom tried to hold on for me, they were her parents, and then my dad, too, she just couldn’t do it. The doctors said it was a heart attack, but I know it was a broken heart. My dad’s parents had died when I was little so, when I was 18, I was on my own. I’ve been careful with the money. I’ve never really needed much. Turns out, I’m good with numbers, too. I’ve been living off the interest I’ve made from investments.”      Jeff reached over and took your hand. He didn’t say anything, he just squeezed your hand and you rode on in silence for a while. It wasn’t awkward, just the peace of the open road.

     Jeff knew she’d been keeping something buried down deep, he just hadn’t expected what she told him. Her whole family was gone. It just broke his heart that she’d been without a family for so long. He didn’t even care about the money, but it was nice to know that she had something to fall back on if she needed it. She didn’t go overboard on anything, the most outlandish purchase he’d seen her make was the Jeep he was driving and even so, it was three years old. When he turned to look at her, she was already looking back.      She always seemed to know what he was thinking.      “We could stop for the night here,” she said.      “You don’t have to be scared to meet my parents, they’ll love you,” he said. They were on the 101 outside of San Francisco. “I know you’re trying to stall.”      “Isn’t Alcatraz here?” she asked, ignoring his comment. “That’d be so cool to see.”      He shouldn’t have been surprised, he always wanted to see Alcatraz, and she almost always liked the same things as him. The only thing he liked but found that she didn’t enjoy was horror movies, even then she still watched them with him. More like, she burrowed into his chest while HE watched the movie. It may, or may not, have been the reason he watched those movies with her.      He could feel himself relenting, “Devil woman.”      “Would it be too rude? We could catch it on the way back,” she compromised.      He slowed the Jeep as they came to an off-ramp. “I’ll call my mom and see what she and Dad have planned.” Her being scared to meet his parents made a lot more sense now. She wasn’t just scared to be meeting her boyfriend’s parents, she was scared to be part of a family again.

[tl-notes]

Kobayashi’s Maid Dragon Episode 4 Notes

These yellow hats are tsuugakubou 通学帽, “commuting to school hats.” They are required by many elementary schools in Japan; students must wear them when traveling to and from school (which most children do by walking, at least part of the way; school buses aren't a thing) for various reasons. The most commonly cited is “to avoid traffic accidents” by making the children stand out, but others include preventing heatstroke, making them easier to spot for teachers, or differentiating which grade a student is in.

As the previous sentence implies, their design may change as you go up the grades (yellow for first graders, blue for older, as an example) or sometimes by gender. Depends on what the school wants to do with them.

Point cards are an absurdly popular way of encouraging repeat business in Japan, with lots of small business using non-electronic ones (marked by just a custom stamp). If you’re not careful your wallet will be overflowing with them in no time.

The “zuuun” sound she makes here is, as you could probably guess, the sound effect for this sort of emotional gloom or a sense of heaviness (physical or not).

Japanese has a huge wealth of these “sound effect” words, and they’re a pretty normal part of conversation—especially for kids, but also adults and to an extent even in formal situations. You’re surely familiar with “onomatopoeia” (also known as a phonomime), a word that sound like a sound; “buzz” being a common example. You may be less familiar with the words phenomime and psychomime; words that “sound” like actions/conditions of the physical world (something going “round and round and round…”) and words that “sound” like emotions/feelings/mental states (a “pounding” headache).

You’ll notice she says "kawaii" the first time, and "cute" the second. English is a required subject in most Japanese schools starting in late elementary school, so while people may not be able to actually speak it, they do know a bunch of random vocab words. And it's reflected in Japanese media: you can just drop in English like this and expect your audience to understand it. It's kind of a neat strength of writing in Japanese (and some other languages) that’s hard to reproduce in English, as there’s no standard second language everyone has to study—and not as much acceptance of randomly speaking other languages in the middle of a sentence anyway (somewhat ironically, given how many loan words English actually has).

She uses the verb 仰る ossharu here, which is a very formal/respectful form of “to say,” like how you would refer to something your boss or a client says. The impression it leaves in this case, at least for me, is like how a parent will sometimes sort of jokingly speak “humbly” toward their kid, like they’re a princess or something.

I think this is supposed to be “bud” not “bod,” but I’m not sure if it’s a mistake on Kyoani’s part or an intentional misspelling for realism, because that sort of mistake is a super common sight around Japan.

“Fancy” as a loan word in Japanese is not really associated with “expensive” the way it is in English, but is instead used to refer to cutesy decorative things. “Fancy Shop” is actually a word you can look up in (some) Japanese dictionaries, defined as “a store that specializes in selling ‘fancy’ ‘goods’.” (“Goods” being another common loan word, basically “merch” in English.) You can google image search “ファンシーショップ” (fanshii shoppu) and get a good feel for what it’s like.

Hello Kitty and that whole aesthetic is a decent example as well.

She uses another of those sound effect words here: chikachika. Basically the idea is a prickling sort of pain; it’s not just sparkling, it hurts to look at. It’s a relatively common gag line for an older person to say when looking at “sparklingly” youthful stuff, in that “I’m so old” sort of way.

That little face there is the henohenomoheji face—so named because it’s made out of the hiragana he (へ) for the eyebrows/mouth, no (の) for the eyes, mo (も) for the nose, and ji (じ) for the face’s outline and one ear. It’s a popular little doodle and you’ll see it on stuff like scarecrows or background characters in manga (when the author wants to lampshade the fact that they’re meaningless background characters).

|へへ |のの " |  も  / |  へ /

カンナ is Kanna in katakana, the set of kana used primarily for foreign words/names; all of the dragons’ names are written using it. It’s another way “foreigners”* are different from Japanese in Japan, whose names are written in kanji. Well, generally, anyway; some people give their kids (mostly girls) hiragana or, even more rarely, katakana first names, and often very young kids will write their names in kana anyway due to not having learned kanji yet.

*Mostly excluding people from countries that also use Chinese characters to write names, like say China—though even then you can usually tell "oh this is a Chinese name" from the choice of characters.

It’s actually a pain sometimes, as some forms and computer systems are designed with Japanese names in mind, which basically means you’ll never need more than like 4 characters each for first and last name. If you've got a longer name, it often won’t fit in those cases.

Did anybody miss this joke? 

The sign, as you might expect, basically says “Sweets Erasers” and “Warning: Do Not Eat”.

The sign here is pointing out that these are those “safety buzzers” mentioned earlier...which you probably noticed.

This is a play on a disclaimer(?) message that is/was common on certain Japanese TV shows: “この後スタッフが美味しく頂きました,” basically “the staff enjoyed eating it after this.” Japan suffered some pretty bad food shortages around the end of WW2 and, as cultures tend to do after experiencing that sort of thing, developed a strong norm against wasting food. Due to that, TV shows that wasted food on set felt the need to show that message, “after filming we ate this and were thankful about it; it wasn’t wasted,” to avoid blowback from angry viewers. It sort of occupies a similar spot in the culture that “no animals were harmed in the filming of this movie” does in the US. Both arise from a real effort to hold studios accountable, but are also often used as material for jokes.

The sign in the back specifies that this is masking tape, not ribbon, in case that’s what you thought it was.

“Backpacks” here is actually a very specific type of backpack, mostly unique to Japan; ランドセル randoseru, originally an old loan word from Dutch: ransel. This type of backpack is exclusively used by elementary school students—and indeed a large majority of elementary school students use them, as has been the tradition for several decades. Like a lot of Japanese school traditions it originally started as a military thing that seeped into the mainstream while Japan was feeling particularly imperialistic.

As you can see, they tend to be stupidly expensive for a backpack. The cost is somewhat deserved at least, as they are mostly handmade from quality materials and will easily endure the whole six years of a child’s elementary schooling. The hard shell that keeps the boxy shape helps keep the kids from breaking or crushing crap they put in it too, so that’s nice I guess.

They tend to have a strong nostalgic value as well, and people will often hold onto them as keepsakes (i.e. stuffed away in an attic or closet to be looked at once every twenty years or so, probably).

In addition to the above (which would not get me to pay that much, personally), many schools have traditionally required, and continue to require, that students use one. Some even mandate the color, though that’s not quite as common as it used to be and nowadays you can get them in a bunch of different colors instead of the traditional black or red*. Even in places where it’s not required, it’s not unheard of for people to use them anyway, again due to tradition and not wanting their kid to be the only one without (which would probably lead to both teasing of the kid by their classmates, and gossip about their parents by other parents).

*Red being a traditional color helps explain why Kobayashi reacted as she did there. In particular, black=boys & red=girls used to be a thing too.

It’s possible to get them for significantly cheaper in places (like online retailers), though those will generally be of lower quality (or at least less fancy materials; you’re probs not gonna find a leather one for 7,000 yen). Fancy designer ones can of course go for absurdly high prices, though that’s true of any product nowadays.

By the way, as you can see here, nigh on everybody carries a bag of some sort in Japan. Since you’re not likely to be using a car, it’s not like you’ve got anywhere else to put stuff you might need to have with you when out and about.

Japan is still largely cash-based when it comes to individual purchases, a fact which provides a little context to this bit. Outside of large chains, many places won’t take cards, and until fairly recently debit cards basically weren’t even a thing—they still haven’t really caught on, but at least you can get one from some of the large banks now.

School uniforms and certain other supplies are largely purchased through small local stores like this; if you’ve lived near a school you’re likely to have seen one. As Kobayashi’s line implied, they often have deals with a school so that you have to buy through them. It reminds me of how you have to buy gowns/hats/etc. for US school graduation ceremonies through a certain vendor the school (district?) has a deal with.

As you’re probably aware, this is a common and powerful sentiment in Japan, especially the more traditional areas. There have been cases of schools forcing children to dye their hair black even if it was naturally another color, which is clearly an example of taking it too far. On the other hand, there is an argument to made for fostering a sense of equality with your peers by having the whole class in the same uniform, with the same shoes, carrying the same bag, etc., so it’s not like it’s purely hard-headed attachment to tradition and conformity. I guess.

Kanna writes the na in her name with hiragana by mistake (な instead of ナ). ...Or so you’d think, but she was doing a good job writing kanji earlier, so I’m not sure if it’s an honest mistake or a calculated one to appear less infallible. Especially considering the fake tears we see later. Edit: As has been pointed out, the Ka is also wrong in the same way: か instead of カ. Not gonna lie, I sometimes make that mistake myself when writing them out by hand, since the primary difference is just whether there’s that corner dash and it’s easy to add it out of muscle memory—hiragana is a lot more common to write than katakana.

As mentioned before, handwriting is seen as very important in Japan—in particular, the specific method of how you’re supposed to write any one character (including letters/numbers). I bring this up again here because Kanna totally writes the 9 the “wrong” way.

Cram schools (塾 juku) are private “after-school-schools” that parents put their kids into to improve their chances of doing well on the all-important school entrance exams. They’re often seen as a pretty shitty experience for the kid (who wants to go to school twice in one day? or on days off?), but a necessary evil in order to make sure they can get into a good middle school, to get into a good high school, to get into a good college, to get a good job, to have a good life.

These rags, blue/pink clips, and rack are a common sight in many places in Japan; typically schools and offices where the students/employees do a basic cleaning of the classroom/office.

As you may have noticed in other anime set in schools, students tend to do a lot of the work of keeping the school clean. Part of that is (probably) to save on cleaning costs, but it’s also intended to foster a sense of community among the students and get them feeling invested in the school, as well as teach responsibility.

In many workplaces this tradition continues, to a greater or lesser extent. A white-collar worker might not be cleaning the office bathroom, but they will likely have a weekly (or biweekly, whatever) cleaning event where everybody gets a rag and cleans up any dust, coffee/tea rings, etc. around their desk for a few minutes, maybe do a little vacuuming. It’s as much a team-building exercise as it is a cost-saving technique (in theory).

Of course, it also helps establish that it’s now at the end of the school day.

This is that phrase the dude in episode two was repeating: maji yabakune マジやばくね. The maji is just an emphasis thing, very similar to “really” in English (both like “that’s really weird” or “wow, really?”). “Seriously” works too, especially considering that maji is short for majime 真面目, which is a less slangy word that basically means serious (it’s more than just that but whatever). Depending on use, it may be closer to “rly” or “srsly” instead (interneeeet).

The second word is yabai (or more specifically the negated version of it*, yabakunai, or even more specifically the slangy/slurred way of saying that, yabakune). Yabai is a slang word that’s exploded in popularity over the last several years (though it’s roots are much older). It used to mostly describe a situation that is/had gone bad, similar to something like “oh shit.” Much like “shit” though, it’s become almost a catch-all word you can use to refer to basically anything. “This is shit.” “This is the shit.” “This is my shit.” Another example you’ll hear is using it to refer to people, like “that guy’s yabai,” which can mean anything from “don’t fall in with that dude he dangerous” to “that guy’s nuts” to “damn look at that dude go, fuckin beast mode.”

It’s not quite as vulgar though, so it’s not necessarily a bad word for kids to say.

*An extremely common grammar construction in Japanese is negating something and sticking a question mark after it to make a phrase similar to “Is that not ___?” in English. That’s what’s going on with “yabakune.”

So here, it’s Kanna processing the conflicting statements Saikawa made and being like a combination of “she nuts” and “danger Kanna Kamui, danger” (in a silly sort of way).

The line here technically isn’t want to be friends (友達になりたい tomodachi ni naritai or similar), but want to get along well (仲良くしたい nakayokushitai). It’s a pretty insignificant difference, but it makes slightly more sense in context for her to be saying it that way (at least in the Japanese, where both sound natural).

“Blundering” here is bukiyou 不器用, which is a common adjective for someone who’s clumsy (especially in a “bad with their hands” kind of way) or bad at expressing their emotions. If you’re familiar with the stereotypical gruff Japanese dad who can’t make himself tell his kids he loves them (unless maybe at end of an emotional story arc) archetype, this is the word typically used to describe them.

So basically the nuance here is that they’re all “you should have just said you wanted to be friends with her from the start, why’d you have to be all combative?” Which is probably something they think about her a lot.

For the curious, the words here are kurasu 暮らす and ikiru 生きる. The former is a verb for the act of “living” in a “what you do in your day to day life to get by” type of way; what house you live in, what food you eat, your routine, etc. The latter is “living” in a more philosophical sort of way, like “how you choose to live your life.” Or biologically I guess, like being alive versus being dead.

The way she words this, to me, implies less “for now, I can” and more “now, I can.” Like she couldn’t understand it before, but now she can.

Maybe a better way to put it is that the translation here seems to deal with the “now" and the “future” (she agrees now, but may not in the future) whereas the Japanese phrase used (ima de wa 今では) deals more with the “past” and the “now” (she didn't agree with it, but now she does).

Also for what it’s worth, in the manga there’s one extra line after that: “Kobayashi-san is just that... [trails off]”

Also going back a bit, this line. The phrase "骨をうずめる hone wo uzumeru" doesn’t really mean to destroy oneself. Literally, it means to bury one’s bones, and idiomatically, it means to “devote yourself wholly to something.” It is (or maybe was, when lifetime employment was still big) commonly used like “I will bury my bones at this company,” meaning you were devoted to your work at that employer (and had no plans to consider leaving for another job in the future).

So the idea here is that she had seen many of her fellow dragons who started with just “I’ll just spend time/get along with this non-dragon” and ended up becoming completely devoted to them instead (romantically or otherwise), but had never been able to accept/understand that feeling/decision—until now.

Also worth noting the "共に tomo ni" (together with) that she used with the bone-burying phrase—the same word she used twice earlier when talking about living with humans (tomo ni kurasu and, tomo ni ikiru).

So depending on how you want to interpret it, idiomatically or literally, the dragons she knew got "too" involved with a non-dragon and then either just became super emotionally attached, or died together with them.

This line is actually "いつの不良だ？ itsu no furyou da?". Furyou is one of the words you’ll see as "delinquent" a lot, and itsu is "when." Basically the way they’re acting makes them seem like stereotypical delinquents from year 19XX, and she’s sort of reacting to both how out of date it is, plus the "delinquent" thing itself. If you were writing a similar scene from scratch in English, you might go with a “____ called, it wants its ____ back” style joke.

She’s saying “moe” here, in case you didn’t catch that. That sort of “moeeeee” squeal is pretty stereotypical (if sort of out of date) as a thing Japanese anime otaku would say when looking at something cute. When I say stereotypical, I mean that was kind of the perception even relatively normal people had about what otaku did, “oh those people who go like ‘moeeeee’ at anime, right?”

Get it he’s fat (American) and big (gorilla). Gorilla is a pretty standard jokey way to make fun of someone big and stocky. You’ve probably heard it used in several other anime/manga before (often PE teachers or judo club members, especially with square jaws like that).

The phrase here is kubi wo aratte mattero yo 首を洗ってまってろよ, the ever-popular “wash your neck and wait.” It refers to an old line from back in the samurai days, when it was a thing to wash your neck prior to committing seppuku—after you gut yourself, someone else is supposed to cut your head off, and it would be just dreadful for someone to have to cut a dirty neck, heavens me. Basically the idea is “yer fuckin dead mate.”

This is an example of a sutezerifu 捨て台詞, basically a parting line made by an aggrieved party, like “I’ll get you for this!” or whatever. In fiction it’s heavily associated with the bad guys. If you think of Team Rocket they’re a perfect example.

The phrase for picking a fight in Japanese is “selling a fight” (and “fighting words” can be “selling words (urikotoba 売り言葉)”, as here). Then if someone takes you up on it, they “bought” the fight.

Specifically she has no jinbou 人望, which is basically popularity, but in a “people would go out of their way to help you” sort of way; it’s not the same word you’d use to refer to a popular movie, for instance, or someone who’s “popular” but doesn’t have many friends (that would be ninki 人気).

“Explosive” here is actually the kanji for explode/explosion and heart, so it’s more like “Exploding Heart/Spirit.” It’s actually also the word for ground zero/the center of an explosion, though usually it has another kanji added to the end when used like that (爆心地 bakushinchi).

The ability to just toss whatever kanji together like this to create words that don’t necessarily have an actual meaning, but invoke a sort of emotional response, means you see this thing in titles and taglines and fiction (think attack names) a lot.

The phrase used to say “on a different level” here is ものが違う mono ga chigau. Chigau is different, and mono can mean many things, including “things,” and also including a euphemism for boobs.

She uses juurin 蹂躙 here, a fancy word for basically trample. It’s not a super common word, but it’s often used when talking about things like “trampled human rights” in news stories.

Another sutezerifu, and a particularly stereotypical one. Kobayashi doesn’t say “he’s beat up,” she comments on how absurdly stereotypical he sounds (こってこてだな).

Lucoa uses the first person pronoun “boku,” which is typically used by boys/men. Japanese has a bunch of words for “I/me,” and most of them are gendered to some extent or another; some common ones are ore 俺 and boku 僕 for men, atashi あたし and watashi 私 for women—though watashi (or watakushi) is used by everyone in formal/business environments.

Interestingly, the Japanese language is very gendered based on the speaker, but not so gendered based on the subject. So like in English it can be hard to tell someone’s gender online sometimes, but at the same time it’s useful information to know for pronoun purposes. In Japanese it’s easy to tell someone’s gender online (unless they specifically write to hide it), but at the same time you don’t even really need to know, for pronoun purposes anyway.

The phrase here is 姥捨て ubasute, an ancient (and possibly mostly mythical?) practice of abandoning elderly people (particularly but not exclusively women) in the mountains or elsewhere in the wilderness to die in times when food was scarce and the extra mouth couldn’t be fed.

You have to remove your normal shoes and change into indoor shoes (like slip-ons), when entering schools in Japan. In middle/high school you’ll typically have a shoe locker to keep those in, but in elementary school you often are required to have a bag to keep them in; hence the “slipper case” here.

Basically the same is true of physical education/gym clothes, hence the “gym clothes case.” The “gym cap” is basically the same deal as the commuting hat, but worn during gym/PE class. They’re often red and white (also reversible), and so sometimes referred to as kouhakubou 紅白帽 (red/white hats; “kouhaku” is a common word, as the red/white color pair has a lot of cultural significance, especially in relation to Shinto).

Bathrooms in Japan don’t have paper towels, so a handkerchief is an important item to carry when leaving the house.

The “pencil board” (下敷き shitajiki) is a thin plastic board placed under paper to provide a better writing surface (such as when writing in a notebook, which would otherwise have more “give” to it). Possibly due to the relatively intricate nature of kanji (look at this shit: 憂鬱), clean handwriting gets a lot of focus in Japanese primary education—calligraphy lessons, with brush and ink and all, are a regular feature of class—which I guess is where the mandatory status of these boards comes from.

The safety buzzer (“crime prevention buzzer”) is a common piece of equipment for kids to carry, so they can ring in case of kidnapping or similar crime; basically the “I need an adult” alarm. Since kids are generally walking to school unattended and there have been a few high profile criminal cases related to that, it makes sense schools would want to make sure these are something students are carrying.

Link to Episode One Notes Link to Episode Two Notes Link to Episode Three Notes Link to Character Intro Pages

[breeeliss]

[Miraculous Ladybug]: Think Alike

oh shit! update! whaaaaaaat?

so unfortunate side effect of having multiple multi-chapters is that you run the risk of forgetting about them......which admittedly happened with this one.....oops.....

so shoutout to @ladyserendipitous and others from the mlfanfiction server who reminded me that i had this, which encouraged me to update it (good thing too bc i forgot how much i loved this idea). 

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[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3]

Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

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Title: Think Alike

Summary: Adrien never really considered himself an artist per se. He only ever considered what he did a hobby, something that he did for joy and not for obligation. But Marinette held his prints up to the light, smiled up at the glossy photos he’d spent hours shooting and editing, and looked at them like they were practically perfect. And how could Adrien not let his chest swell up at the sight of her pride?

Photographer!Adrien

Chapter 4: Shopping

“So wait, just to review. Why is this not a date again?”

Marinette threw her head back and whined. “It’s not a date because it’s not a date!” she repeated. “I didn’t ask him out, I invited him to go shopping with me because he was asking me questions about designing. That’s it!”

“Yes, but you also have a crush on him and you invited him to do an activity with just the two of you. I dunno, babe, that sounds like a date to me.”

Marinette glared at her. “By that definition, you asking Nino to help you babysit your sisters today is also a date. Boom. Deflected. Leave me alone.”

Alya rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Um, no. Not deflected. Do not twist this on me, I asked you first.”

“And I answered already!” Marinette complained.

Alya crossed her arms and smirked. “Okay no. You’re over here like ‘oh I’m not trying to get with him, I’m just helping him out like a good friend.’ Meanwhile you conveniently had to pick up your fabric orders today and you conveniently needed Adrien’s help to do it. Which yeah, ok, like this isn’t you trying to spend more alone time with him. And then, let’s please acknowledge that this happened all because you were totally starstruck after your darling sunshine prince sat with you and started showing you his camera.”

“It wasn’t a lie! Sure I was going to pick it up tomorrow, but I really do have a fabric order there waiting for me!”

“You are whipped as hell, Marinette.”

“You’re making me sound like a total creep,” Marinette complained. “Look, I honestly sat next to him because I wanted to compliment him on the shoot and see how it was going. That was totally my intention from the start. Completely platonic and friendly support.”

“Ah yes,” Alya said, rubbing her hands. “But then the plot thickens!”

Marinette winced. “And I actually wanted to know about how his camera worked because it seemed interesting! I just wanted to learn more, you know?”

Alya nodded and stroked her chin. “Yes, yes. Getting closer to the source of all this mess.”

“But he looked so cute explaining everything Alya,” Marinette admitted. “Like totally adorable. He was so thrilled and then he started asking me about my designing, and then I remembered how impressed he was with me when I showed him my ideas, and fine I’m a glutton, I’ll admit it! I wanted to spend more time with him because it’s been fun hanging out with him and talking about his photography and my designing. So I invited him to shop with me today.” Marinette pointed a finger in Alya’s face. “As friends! No ulterior motives. Not a date.”

Alya scoffed. “Don’t you even try that, girl. You are full of unadulterated crap. You are totally trying to hit on this boy right now.”

“I am not!”

“Oh yes you are!” Alya teased. She threw her arm dramatically over her forehead. “You find out he’s just as big an art freak as you are, and all of a sudden you’re trying to lure him into your home so you can lay across your sewing machine and let him ravage you!”

“You are embarrassingly dramatic. Seriously. Also, can we not pick out verbs that make me sound like the heroine of a romance novel?”

Alya shrugged. “Make fun of me all you want, but you’re pining after him like crazy. And because I care about your happiness, I will support your impressively sneaky attempts to squeeze in time with him. As always, I demand a full report on my desk by tomorrow morning.”

Marinette rolled her eyes and decided to relent the point. “Sir, yes, sir.”

“Detailed!” she commanded. “No corners cut! Thorough, my dear. Absolutely thorough.”

“I’ll write you a dissertation if you want, don’t worry. I’ll keep you updated.”

“Perfect,” Alya grinned. “It’s important I keep track of my investments.”

Marinette raised a brow. “...yeah, I’m ignoring you.”

Alya danced behind Marinette and planted her hands firmly on her shoulders, marching her at a quicker pace to the front doors of the school. “I’m getting good vibes from this,” Alya explained. “Something tells me this is the beginning of something grand.” She looked past Marinette’s shoulder and jumped excitedly. “Ah, there he is! Ready and waiting for you!”

They were at the top of the stairs outside and Marinette could see Adrien leaning into the window of one of the cars that usually came to pick him up at the end of the day, talking to the driver in the front seat. Alya grinned and muttered in Marinette’s ear. “Nino told me he was spending all of last class texting his father’s assistant and convincing her to let him stay out longer after school. Just for you~!”

Marinette grabbed Alya’s hands and gently pried them off of her shoulders. “Will you stop hovering? Aren’t you supposed to be helping Nino with his DJ equipment? He’s probably upstairs waiting for you.”

“Trying to get rid of me, eh?” Alya laughed. “I get it, that’s cool. Don’t want me to kill your groove.” She kissed both of Marinette’s cheeks. “Knock him dead, cutie, okay?”

Marinette smiled and pushed Alya back inside the building. “Will you go!?” She stuck her tongue at Alya as she watched her skip back down the hallway, grabbing her stomach and cackling at her own antics. Marinette needed to remember to give Alya a hard time later tonight when she asked how babysitting with Nino went. As much as the two of them liked to tease her about Adrien, they sure didn’t realize just how downright chummy the two of them looked in comparison. She’d definitely have to get back at them later.

She took a deep breath, did a quick couple of hops in place to psych herself up, and skipped down the stairs just as Adrien was waving off his driver who’d pulled away from the school.

“Are you all set?” Marinette asked.

“Yup!” Adrien said. “Took a bit of wheedling with Nathalie to get away with it, but I am yours for the next hour.”

“Oh perfect,” Marinette smiled. “I promise I won’t be too long. It’s just picking up a couple of things and buying some stuff I’m running out of.”

“Ah don’t worry about it,” Adrien assured. “This should be fun! I just wear the clothes my father makes, so I don’t really know what happens behind the scenes so to speak. Besides, I wanna know what you’re going to be working on next.”

“You’ll figure it out quick,” she promised. “Feel up for a walk? I go to the shop about fifteen minutes away from here.”

“Of course, lead the way!”

Marinette’s parents financially supported her designing up to a point. It wasn’t too much trouble for her mother to pass down her old sewing machine, and back when clothing design only really consisted of remaking clothing she already had, buying basic sewing kits and small swatches of fabric from the crafts store was enough for Marinette to survive. But eventually, she wanted to make things from scratch. She needed to learn how to embroider. She needed dressforms for more complicated designs. She needed books for help and reference. And, most importantly, she needed three times the amount of fabric, thread, and supplies than she’d ever needed back when she was just adding decals to her skirts and shirts.

As encouraging as her parents were, Marinette understood that it was far too much to expect them to go out and buy whatever she needed. It wasn’t exactly feasible to sacrifice lease payments in favor of bolts of fabric because Marinette wanted to try her hand at button downs that weekend. So Marinette asked to start working on the registers at the bakery in exchange for a small allowance, and learned how to be smart about how to get everything she needed for as cheap as possible.

The shop that she always went to wasn’t exactly high-end, but it was certainly affordable considering how well-stocked they were in comparison. Marinette even figured out to take advantage of all of their online-only sales and ask for large orders in advance instead of shopping in the store real time. Plus Marinette shopped there so often that the owner always liked to shave off a few euros from her purchases in order to give her a break, especially when Marinette left the store with literal handfuls of supplies. It wasn’t the type of place where she could get huge bolts of expensive chiffon and silk, as riveting as the thought was. But for a girl on a budget, Marinette thought she pretty much hit the gold mine.

She was sort of afraid of what Adrien would think of such a place. After all, she was sure his father only ever needed to dial a number in order for him to get unlimited access to some of the highest quality fabrics in the world. A little storefront like this probably wasn’t much. But the moment they walked through the doors, Adrien’s eyes immediately started darting everywhere they could, soaking up whatever he saw. “Woah! I’ve never been inside a fabric shop before!”

“Never?” Marinette asked.

“No way!” Adrien exclaimed. He immediately started moving down one of the aisles and running his hands along the shelves filled with bolts of all sorts of colorful fabrics made of dozens of different material. He started to look through a small case filled with rolls of fabric and marvelled at the size of them. “Gosh, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much fabric on one place.”

“Yeah, it’s got a lot to choose from,” she grinned. “It’s a bit pricy to buy them in bulk like this, but at least that means you’re pretty well stocked for a while before you have to start shopping again.”

Marinette couldn’t help but laugh when she saw how amazed he was at the entire wall devoted to yarn and wool. “Do you ever buy this stuff?” he asked.

“Occasionally,” she said. “Especially if I’m making things like scarves, hats, and leg warmers, it’s cheaper to just crochet it myself. I have to come back another time to get some knitting needles though. I just bought the books and I want to learn over the summer too.”

“God, how do you choose? There’s so much here, I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“Come in knowing exactly what you want,” Marinette smirked. “Trust me, I know from experience. You walk in here without a clue what you want, and you either don’t buy anything or want to buy everything.”

“Is it just fabric and yarn that they sell? What else is here?” Adrien asked.

She shrugged. “Well, the back has more of what you would find in a craft store. So buttons, zippers, embroidery hoops, needles, stabilizers, smaller swatches of fabric, ribbons….I’m pretty sure they have a small section where you can get beads.”

Adrien twisted around and started walking backwards, occasionally bending over to steal glances at the lower shelves. “My father used to tell me how much he loved going to shops like this when he started out designing. I mean, it was years ago, but they look just like he described. Just walls and walls of almost anything you could ever want. This is awesome!”

“Yeah, I was pretty shocked my first time in here too,” she agreed. “I mean, it’s obviously not an endless treasure trove, but it’s a pretty decent place if you only have a little to spend.”

Adrien was standing on his toes and reading the labels of the highest shelves he could reach, laughing at himself all the while. “I’m so sorry, I’m supposed to be helping you shop.”

Marinette shook her head. “Ah, don’t worry about it. Roam around all you want. I might even find a couple of things for myself that I might need.”

He peeked around the aisle and let out a small gasp. “Oh my god there are like ten more shelves of fabric back here! And they’re all patterns!”

Marinette reached into her pocket for her wallet. “Have fun! I’ll be at the register up front if you wanna help me carry some stuff.”

“I’ll be two minutes I swear.”

Marinette wound up getting 6 meters of a black cotton/poly blend, 5 meters of dark blue jersey knit, a meter’s worth of four different colors of cotton, and a bundle of golden lace. One of the cashiers who had personally handled plenty of Marinette’s orders in the past didn’t even bat a lash when she gave her a 15 euro discount, asking only for pictures of all the finished products in exchange. It all wound up cheaper than she thought it would be, and she started to eye the back of the store where all the craft supplies were. Adrien finally came back up to the counter and started to help the cashier put Marinette’s orders into bags.

“Huh,” Adrien hummed. “Not sure what this stuff is for, but didn’t you have a dress with lace on it that you showed me?”

“Mmhm,” Marinette nodded. “You’re getting warm. Oh, come. I wanna grab a couple of things real quick from the back.”

Adrien followed behind her and rubbed the black fabric in between his fingers. “Uhhhh….wait! Your Eiffel Tower dress is black, right?”

Marinette grinned and Adrien’s eyes widened in excitement. “You’re gonna try for that dress first?”

“That’s the plan,” she confirmed. “I’m dreading it a little bit because of all the embroidery work that has to go into it, but I figured I’d do the more complicated thing first.”

“What’s the rest of this stuff for?”

“The lace is for the collar of the dress. The jersey knit is for this other dress I’m making. Nothing crazy, just something for some of the cooler summer days. And the cotton is for headbands! I ordered the hard plastic bands online already, so now all I have to do is put the fabric over it. I had a couple of spare pattern swatches at home that I was going to use, but I figured a couple more colors wouldn’t hurt.”

“Wow,” Adrien breathed out. “Sounds like a lot to do.”

“You underestimate my ability to perform killer all nighters,” she joked.

“I thought Alya was kidding about that.”

“I pride myself on doing my best to get eight hours of sleep every night during the school year. But during breaks? All bets are off.”

Adrien frowned. “I’m telling her you said that.”

“I have things to get done!”

“You have to sleep Marinette!”

“Oh there’s plenty of time for that afterwards,” she insisted. Adrien didn’t look pleased, but she laughed at his expression anyway and set her schoolbag down by her feet when they turned into one of the aisles at the back of the shop. “For now, if I’m really going to crack down on this embroidery, I need to stock up on a couple of things.”

Adrien set down his own bag and all of Marinette’s purchases as he scanned the shelves. “What are we looking for?”

“A new embroidery hoop. Some stabilizers. Carbon paper. Thread. Temporary adhesive. And I think that’s it.”

Adrien blinked. “Uh….well, the thread I get. What’s the other stuff for?”

Marinette let her hand hover over one of the rows of items before she plucked out an embroidery hoop from the shelves are started to scrutinize the size. “All things I need to hand embroider the dress. The hoop I have at home is too small for this dress and I’m out of everything else I need. I have some extra money left over so I figured I’d stock up.”

He hummed as he stood on his toes and looked at the row of stabilizers above his head. “What does all this stuff do? Can you explain it to me?”

“I mean, I don’t mind, but it can get a little confusing.”

“I’m sure I can keep up if I try,” he grinned. “I don’t know any of this stuff, so it’s really interesting.” He pointed to the hoop in Marinette’s hands. “So what’s that for?”

“An embroidery hoop,” she explained. “So when you’re doing embroidery, you want to make sure you’re keeping the fabric taut so that your stitches won’t look scrunched up or over stretched. So you open up the frame, slip the fabric inside, tighten it, and them you can start sewing.”

Adrien frowned and took the hoop from her and turned it over in his hands. “Hm, makes sense. There was some of that stabilizer stuff on that top shelf up there? You need that, right?”

“Yup,” Marinette said. She was reaching upwards to try to read the labels on the row of stabilizers Adrien had been looking at earlier. “Oh, could you do me a favor and grab that pack over there? Should say medium-weight cutaway stabilizers. Can’t reach it.”

“Uhhh, how long?”

“Ten meters ought to be fine.”

Adrien had to prop his foot up on the bottom shelf to reach the roll before he carefully handed it back down to her. “So stabilizers are…?”

“Well, I want the fabric taut, but I also don’t want the fabric to be damaged by the stitching I’m doing. So the stabilizer will keep that from happening. Because this is knit, stretchy fabric, the stabilizer is also gonna give the design some extra support. You put it on the back of the surface you’re embroidering, fit it into your hoop, and start.”

“So hoop keeps it taut, and stabilizers keep it from becoming damaged and offer support. Right?”

“Exactly!” Marinette smiled. She crouched down on the bottom shelf and plucked up a can of adhesive spray. “This is just to adhere it to the fabric when you’re ready to embroider.”

“So what does cutaway mean?” Adrien asked. “Or I guess what’s the difference between that and the others? There was a tear away up there somewhere.”

“Just depends on the fabric you’re using,” she told him. “So tear aways are better for tightly woven fabrics like cotton. When you’re done with your design, you just tear away the stabilizer from the back and you’re left with your design. Easy. Cutaways are better for fabrics that stretch more, like the one I just bought. So instead of tearing away the whole thing, you cut off the excess and leave the stabilizer on the back of the design. Offers more stability.”

Adrien scratched the back of his head. “I think that makes sense. Are there any others?”

“There are wash aways. You use that for really delicate fabrics, and they dissolve in water. Heat aways exist too, but I’ve never used them.”

Adrien whistled. “That’s so much to keep track of. Now I get what you mean about all this being complicated….”

“It’s a lot of trial and error,” Marinette said. “And looking up on the Internet which things to use for what. Good thing is that sometimes you can find handy charts online that tell you what materials to use for which fabrics. As you get more used to it, you just sort of know.”

He watched her as she looked through the different types of embroidery thread and picked out a couple of golden ones. “I get what you mean. I was pretty much using Google and YouTube videos when I was still figuring out some of the weirder settings on my camera.”

Marinette giggled. “Yeah, tell me about it. You should see all of my browser bookmarks. Pretty sure it’s all references for designing, and I have dozens of them.” She bit on her lip and turned to the shelves behind them. “Do you see any carbon paper?”

“What’s that for?”

“Transfer outlines of the designs to the fabric. So that I know where to sew and can keep my stitches straight.”

Adrien pointed at one of the shelves to Marinette’s left. “Is it that weird black looking paper?”

Marinette nodded and took the first pack she saw. “Yup, that’s the one. Oh, and they’re so cheap! Perfect! I think I might actually be under budget.”

“With all of this stuff!?”

Marinette snorted. “Oh please, this is nothing. You should see the days where I come and pick up bolts of fabric and have to refill my sewing kits.”

“And I was over here complaining about buying photo paper the other day….”

She picked up her backpack from the floor and nudged him in the side. “Does buying photo paper not get complicated?”

“Printing photos does not involve stabilizers, carbon paper, and adhesive spray. Just a printer.”

“Oh come on, even I know you’re simplifying that. Aren’t there different types of photography paper you can use?”

“I mean, yeah, you can get paper to give you a glossy, matte, luster, or metallic finish, but that’s easy stuff.”

“ Easy stuff. ”

“You just stick the paper in the printer! At least I don’t have to set my photos on fire to get them to come out. Wait that’s what heat away stabilizers are, right?”

“Oh my God, no , that’s not what they are. You just iron them.”

“Heat implies fire.”

“No it doesn’t?”

“Well I didn’t know that! This stuff isn’t intuitive. You’re wicked smart so this all just comes naturally to you.”

“You’re impressed because my knowing not to set my clothes on fire comes naturally to me?”

“You know what I mean….”

They checked out all of Marinette’s purchases at the counter and started walking back to her house, delving into rather long and useless conversation about how stylish fireproof clothing could totally hit the markets with a splash and that Marinette could pioneer the movement — “Think about it,” Adrien joked. “No one will ever see it coming!” — which didn’t accomplish anything other than make Marinette forget to turn down the right block to their street and make her gut hurt from laughing so hard. For some reason, she really underestimated how distracting Adrien’s silliness could be. Though to be fair, it wasn’t as if she was a stranger to it — after starting to hang out with him more regularly over the past year, it was hard not to notice that Adrien got into pun competitions with himself when he was bored.

It wasn’t until she was dramatically retelling the story of the time she left her iron on the ironing board and caused a teeny tiny fire in her room that she realized they’d been walking and looping around random blocks for the past twenty minutes. Adrien was wiping tears from his eyes as Marinette looked around and noticed that her house was well behind them, but Marinette didn’t feel like pointing the fact out. If Adrien had already noticed, then it didn’t seem like he was in any rush to get her home. Marinette certainly didn’t mind spending the extra time with him, especially since he made it sound like he could afford to stay out longer.

She was trying not to think about the smug look Alya would give her once she told her all of this when Adrien asked out of the blue, “Can I ask you one more designing question? I just had a random thought….”

“If you bring up your fireworks rant one more time….”

“No, no, not that,” he assured. “Although, that was a pretty creative idea if I do say so myself.”

She smirked up at him as they walked. “Your question?”

“Right, so….I’ve walked through father’s company before. And one time I was taking a peek at where all the sample makers work, and I saw them embroidering with a sewing machine. So can’t you just embroider that way?”

“If they’re sample makers at Gabriel they probably have fancy machines that are specifically made for doing really complex embroideries. It’d be nice to have one of those, but I don’t have the money for it right now. I’m hoping to save up for it little by little as a graduation present to myself. Besides, it’s harder than it looks. You have to have a really steady hand.”

Adrien winced. “How much?”

“A few hundred euros,” Marinette sighed. “Can’t get one any time soon. But hey! Maybe I can get a summer job and save up paychecks to buy one for myself. It’s not like I need it or anything, but it’s a cool thing to aspire to.”

“Wow, you’re saving up for it yourself?” Adrien asked. “No help from parents?”

“Nah, I can’t expect them to drop money for something like that for me. They’re supportive of my designing and everything — they love seeing what I’m working on, Maman lets me use her old sewing machine, and Papa got me those dress forms on sale at a thrift store. But a fancy embroidery machine is different. If I decide to take my hobby seriously, I should bear the burden of funding it. But it’s alright! I’ll get there eventually.”

Adrien hummed and looked down at the bags pinching around his wrists. “You said you wanted to be a designer when you grow up. Are you going to….go to school for that and stuff?”

“That’s the plan,” she nodded. “Get a job, work in a company, maybe open my own line. It’s all a little unclear right now, but my parents always say it’s a matter of just doing what makes sense to me and feels right. I’ve got plenty of time to think about a career.”

“I sort of forget you can go to school for that stuff.”

Marinette frowned. “Didn’t your father start out as a designer?”

“Yeah, but he went to school for business,” Adrien explained. “The designing was just a hobby for him. He happened to be really good at it and combined the business and designing to make Gabriel. He takes pride in what he does as a designer, but he always says he’s a businessman first and a visionary second. He doesn’t just know what looks good. He knows how to make what looks good sell , and he knows how to create success. Hobbies don’t mean much to him unless you can benefit from it.” He laughed at himself, but it sounded strained against Marinette’s ears. “I didn’t even know that designing was a thing you could go to school for until a couple of years ago.”

Marinette bit her lip and tilted her head so she could peek underneath Adrien’s bowed head to see his face. “Photography is something you could go to school for. There are a lot of good art schools in Paris. Or you could even travel somewhere else. Maybe go to America. Whatever you wanted, really.”

Adrien snorted. “It really isn’t a matter of what I want.”

She wrinkled her forehead. “Your future should always be a matter of what you want. That’s why it’s yours.”

“I mean, that does make sense,” he said. “But I guess it’s just never felt that way.”

It was too bitter a statement to come from Adrien’s mouth, and the tone was discordant enough to make Marinette curl a hand into the crook of his elbow and stop their walking. “Is there something on your mind?”

He shook his head adamantly. “No! No, no, I’m sorry. I got a little off topic. It’s honestly nothing.”

“It doesn’t sound like nothing.”

Adrien knocked the shopping bag against his shins and hesitated for a long moment before he answered. “I dunno, I guess….I guess I’ve been thinking about something Nino told me today.”

A young woman roughly clipped shoulders with Marinette and she realized with a jolt that they probably needed a different place to talk instead of the middle of the sidewalk. There was a small plaza with tables, chairs, and benches in front of a cafe that Marinette liked to sketch at on the weekends. She tugged on Adrien’s elbow until she followed him up the block and pulled out seats for them both. He looked a little reluctant to sit, almost anticipating the fact that Marinette would surely question him, so she tried to smile as reassuringly as she could to comfort him. It was very easy for Adrien to draw into himself when his father came up, and it didn’t feel right to just let the sentiment hang.

Adrien sat in the chair, nervously bobbing one of his legs while Marinette visibly struggled to find the point she wanted to make. “What do you want to do when you get older?”

Adrien blinked, not expecting the question. “Sorry?”

“I want to design when I get older,” Marinette explained. “So, what do you want to do? When you graduate and when you become an adult. What do you see yourself doing?”

He shrugged helplessly. “I never thought that far ahead,” he admitted. “I guess modelling? Or maybe helping father run the company.”

“That sounds a lot like what your father wants you to be doing.”

“Well,” he began. “Father always did want me to go into business like him. I always assumed that meant he wanted me to pick up his torch.”

“Forget what he thinks for a minute,” she instructed. “Forget what you’re supposed to be doing or what would make your father happiest. Is that what you want to do?”

His answer was almost immediate. “Not really. It’s always sounded rather dull the way he explained it to me.”

“So in a perfect world, what you want to keep doing?” she asked him. “The world’s open to you. You can do what makes you happy. You can do what excites you. You can do what you think will help you grow and learn as a person. What’s that thing?”

He smiled softly and stared at her through his bangs, as if he was already anticipating the answer she was trying to get him to give her. “I….I want to keep taking pictures.”

Marinette smiled brightly. “What else?”

He drummed his hands against his lap and stared off into space. “I dunno. I guess I just want more. I want to meet more photographers. I want to learn more about photography. I want to take more pictures. I want to do more with photography. I want….I want to make art . Nothing makes me happier than when I show people the things I can do and it affects the way they feel. It touches them, makes them pause, makes them walk away with something they didn’t have before. I can do that! And I want to keep doing that.”

“They call people like that artists, you know,” Marinette joked. “And you’re definitely an artist. You make magic with your hands. You create things that other people can’t immediately replicate. That’s art.”

“It seems so….intangible almost. Maybe that’s the wrong word,” he wondered. “I mean, I know there are artists in the world, but it never seemed like the sort of thing you could just do for the rest of your life.”

Marinette sighed. “I mean, your future’s a little more unclear. It’s not like being a doctor or a lawyer or a businessman. All those things lead you down a sure path. I don’t know what’ll happen to me or you five, ten years into the future. Being a creative person is messy, so it makes sense that your future will be a little messy too. But….I think it’s worth it! I want to give it a try and see where it can take me. What’s the fun in doing something if you know exactly where it’s going to lead you?”

Adrien winced. “I don’t know if my father would like that. He plans meticulously. Even my life, he planned. Everything I do has a purpose. Basketball and fencing to keep me fit. Chinese to keep me well-rounded. Tutoring to keep me ahead. Piano lessons to keep me cultured. He’s got all these building blocks and he knows exactly where they’re all supposed to go.”

“That’s great for him,” Marinette said, brushing off the comment. “And I’m sure it works for him. But what works for him doesn’t always work for you. You’re not supposed to be forcing yourself into a mold he makes for you. You’re your own person. He can’t dictate that for you forever.”

“Nino said the same thing.” He leaned his head against his knuckle, pressing a thumb into his temple. “And, don’t get me wrong, it makes sense. I agree. And I want to tell him, if only so that he could at least get excited about it and not call it a waste of time. But I don’t know how well that’ll go over with him. I don’t think he’d take it well.”

“Well, what does he have to say about it?”

Adrien nibbled on his bottom lip and traced the scratches on the metal tables. “I, uh….I don’t think he knows. About the photography.”

Her eyes widened. “You haven’t told him?”

“I don’t know how,” he replied helplessly. “He does what he does because he thinks it’s what’s best for me, and he’s really hesitant about me wasting my time with other things because he thinks it’s distracting. I just know that showing him a photo, showing him a new camera, or God forbid mentioning going to school for photography won’t just fall flat. It’ll go horribly. And….” He swallowed. “I don’t know how to deal with him being disappointed in me. I’ll always avoid it if I can.”

“You don’t know that for sure.”

“I’ve got a pretty good inkling.”

“Inklings are just that,” Marinette explained. “The only way you’ll know for sure is if you just say something.”

“It’s not that easy, Marinette….”

“Maybe, but how will you possibly know he’ll be disappointed in you if you don’t even give it a shot?”

The sentiment didn’t seem to cheer him up. His gaze was everywhere but on her, and she suddenly felt like she may have said something wrong. She didn’t know what it was like to have a parent who was unsupportive, or a parent who was absent in more ways than one. Adrien never really liked touching upon his family life much, and Marinette was harshly reminded why. It was jarring to think that Adrien could show so much reluctance in sharing part of himself with his own father. That kind of disconnect with her family wasn’t something she ever had to worry about. It made sense that just saying what was on her mind was something that she would do. But Adrien was clearly a different story.

It was frustrating because she wanted to help but wasn’t quite sure what he needed. It was times like these when Marinette realized how much her own nerves over her crush on him prevented her from learning more intimate things about him. They were supposed to be good friends. Surely she could think of something encouraging to tell him.

She felt horribly out of her element, but she didn’t want to let him stew in silence for too long. “If….” she muttered. “In a perfect world….what would need to happen? What would make you feel safe and supported?”

Adrien lifted his shoulders weakly. “What do you mean?”

Marinette huffed. She wasn’t saying this properly. “I mean….what has to happen to make you comfortable telling him? What would you need?”

He finally made eye contact with her, and she could see how the question made a small spark of vulnerability flash in his eyes, so quick she almost missed it. “I guess,” he said slowly. “Having someone in my corner. Father likes to think he’s right, or that he knows what’s best more than anyone else. More than me. It’s hard to get a word in edgewise to begin with. But for some reason where my future’s concerned, he’s especially adamant. It’d take more than just me to convince him.”

“Adamant about your future?”

Adrien looked up, desperately searching for the words. “He….he’s lost a lot.” The statement hung, and Marinette didn’t need him to elaborate to know exactly what he meant. “He’ll go through hell to make sure I’m safe and secured. Half of that is setting out a very specific path for me. I think me deviating from that….scares him? I don’t know.”

“You know,” she began quietly. “Your friends will go through hell to make sure you’re safe, too. We’ll also go through hell to make sure you’re happy.”

His smile slowly warmed his face, as if an entire slew of fond memories suddenly passed over him. “Yeah. I know.”

She gently knocked her knee against his. “I mean it. I can’t pretend to know what it’s like to deal with your father. I know that can be frustrating. But Alya, Nino, and I are always going to be here if you need help. And just speaking for myself, if you need someone in your corner to help get through to him, I’m just a phone call away.”

Marinette felt her heart whither when she saw him look genuinely surprised at what she’d said, as if that kind of sincerity still wasn’t something that he was used to. But it was quickly eclipsed when Adrien dropped all the bags to the floor, pushed his chair forward, and pulled Marinette into a fierce hug, letting his chin nestle comfortably against her shoulder. Her entire face was glowing, and she struggled with what to do with her hands for a long moment before she let them rest on his shoulders. “You’re a really great friend, Marinette. Thank you.”

Her nerves kicked in the moment her heart started racing. “I-It’s no big deal. Honest.”

Adrien leaned away from her and kept his hands on her shoulders. “It’s a big deal to me. I just wanted you to know that. I feel really lucky that you don’t mind spending all this time with me and helping me figure out what I want to do. No one’s ever really done this much for me before. I guess I’m just really grateful to you is all.”

She beamed at him so hard she could feel the ache in her cheeks. “I’m glad I could help.”

Their detour had to be cut short once Adrien looked at his phone and realized that he probably should start heading home before Nathalie or his father began to worry. Despite her assurances that the bags really weren’t a hassle, he insisted that he help her carry all of her supplies back to her house before he left. His phone was buzzing in his pocket periodically with phone calls and text messages, but he ignored it in favor of chatting with Marinette and giving her his full attention until they stopped in front of the bakery.

He passed off her things and helped her loop the straps around her wrists. “Got everything?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” she assured. “Please answer your phone! They sound worried.”

“I will right now, I promise.” He stuffed both of his hands in his pocket. “S-So, uh….any plans coming up?”

“Not strict ones. Why?”

Adrien bunched his shoulders up by his ears. “Just, uh….you know if you wanted company this summer while you’re designing. Or if you wanted to come with me to some shoots, you can just. I dunno. Text me, or something. It’d be cool to hang out more.”

“Y-Yeah,” she replied. “A-Absolutely! Um….I’ll have a better idea of when I’m free once school finishes, so, yeah! I’ll, uh. I’ll text you. Or you text me! Whatever you want.”

He let his head dip when he chuckled, his bangs falling into his eyes. “Cool, cool. Well, I. I guess I’ll head home. It was fun shopping with you.”

“Thanks for helping me,” Marinette said. “It’s always nice to have company.”

Adrien didn’t immediately move from his spot, still keeping his hands in his pockets and his shoulders pulled up high. It seemed like something was still on his mind, and she was about to ask him what was wrong before he suddenly moved in close, laid a hand on her shoulder, and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek.

Marinette felt her entire body jump when his lips touched, and she was sure she let out a strange high-pitched noise to boot. It was such a short kiss, but when Adrien jerked back she could see his ears turning red. “A-Anyway,” he stuttered. “See you in class!”

He jogged down the block back to his house, leaving Marinette to stand in front of her house while her entire face grew hot. It felt like her entire brain had shut off and it took her a few seconds to come back to herself and force out a quick “Bye!” before he ran too far away. She waited until he was completely out of sight before she covered her face with both hands and let out a quiet scream.

Alya was never going to let her hear the end of this.

[evangelinedanvers]

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

(I wrote this probably over a year ago but I don't think I ever posted it on here for some reason. But here it is anyway)

Victoria pulled out her desk chair and sat down, before scooting the chair closer to her desk. She pressed a button on the keyboard of her laptop, making its screen brighten. As she did so, she noticed that her finger nails were jagged and her nail polish chipped. This was just not acceptable. Long, slender fingers such as her own deserved to have beautiful nails to match. With everything that had happened the past few days her mind had been all over the place. She had simply forgotten to get her manicure. She made a mental note to make an emergency appointment with her beautician.

With a few swipes of the mouse she pulled up Facebook and scowled at what she saw on it. Everywhere she looked were messages about Kate, giving her their best wishes. Most of them from people who had made her life a living hell. There was no mention of that now though. It was all 'we're sorry' and 'we love you' and 'feel better'. Not once did Victoria see an apology. At least, Victoria thought, when she had sent the post card to Kate she acknowledged that Kate had reason to hate her.

She hadn't said the word sorry though. How could she? How did sorry even cover what she had done? Even saying sorry one million times wouldn't be enough. No, this was a case where actions were going to speak louder than words. However, Victoria didn't want Kate know she was trying to apologise. She just wanted to do something for Kate that might have a chance of making her feel a little happier.

With shaking hands, Victoria picked up her pack of cigarettes and lit one, not even caring that smoking in the dorm rooms was banned. She closed her eyes and took a deep drag, relaxing slightly as the nicotine entered her system. When the cigarette was half gone, she stubbed it out. Victoria never smoked a whole cigarette at once. It always gave her a migraine.

Suitably calmed down, Victoria remembered what her intention had been when she sat down at her desk. She picked up a pen and started to write, in perfect cursive, on the cute teapot shaped gift tag. 'I heard you like tea. I hope this helps you to feel better. Stay strong.' Victoria almost signed the gift tag with her signature 'X.O Vic.', before remembering she had chosen to leave the tea hamper anonymously. She began to muse how it was odd that she signed everything 'Vic', but rarely let anyone use the hypocoristic reference.

She pushed the first tag to the side and began to write upon a second. 'Thank you for saving her.'

Victoria tied one tag to each of the hampers she had purchased before glancing at her wristwatch. It was two in the morning. No one would be about this time on a Wednesday morning, so Victoria decided it was the best time to leave her gifts outside their recipient's dorms.

Victoria, holding a hamper in each hand, opened her door and glanced quickly down the corridor in both directions. Seeing that no one was around, Victoria walked toward Max's room. She never ran any where. With Max's gift successfully deposited Victoria sauntered towards Kate's dorm room, and placed the final hamper in front of her door.

When Victoria stood up again, Max Caulfield was in before her, her face literally centimetres away from her own face. How Max had managed to get so close to her without her even noticing, Victoria had no idea.

"Hey Vic. Whatcha doin'?" Max questioned, with a huge grin upon her face."

Victoria took a couple of steps back, uncomfortable with her proximity to Max.

"Tell anyone, and I swear it will be the last thing you ever do."

"It's no big deal Victoria. I've known for days who was leaving them."

"And how, pray tell, could you possibly know that? I've been covering my tracks."

"I caught you a couple of days ago. Then I rewound time because it got kind of awkward."

"Maxine, have you been out all night smoking pot with that punk ass friend of yours?"

Max shrugged. "Sure, if that's what you want to believe." Max stated to walk past Victoria, and clipped the other girl with her satchel as she did so. "Oh. Sorry." She said vacantly, as though she was thinking about something else. "If you're feeling guilty, you should just apologise to Kate. She's nice. She doesn't hate you. You don't have anything to be scared of."

"I don't feel guilty. And I'm most certainly not scared. Damn it Maxine, why do you always act like you know everything when you so clearly don't?" In her annoyance, Victoria's voice had risen. She forgot that people were sleeping and she was supposed to be being conspicuous.

Kate's doors opened with a creak and Kate walked out rubbing her eyes. "Hey. What's going on out here? I'm trying to sleep."

"Oh, just great. Thanks, Max."

"You're welcome." Max said quietly as she walked back to her dorm, deciding to leave Kate and Victoria to their own devices.

When Kate realised that it had been Victoria making all that noise, she shrunk away from her and wrapped her arms around her own body. Since Victoria had been actively avoiding Kate, it was the first time she had seen her since she had almost ended it all. "Hey, Victoria." She whispered.

"Hi." Victoria said with a curt nod. She then turned her back on Kate to go back to her own room. She wasn't ready to have a conversation with Kate. She wasn't sure she would ever be ready.

"Wait."

Victoria sighed and turned back to Kate. "What? It's late. I would like to get some sleep tonight." Victoria wasn't being deliberately cold towards Kate. It was just a defence mechanism she had always had, to avoid having to deal with all of the emotional stuff that life liked to throw at people.

"I got your note." Kate still had her arms wrapped around herself, but she removed one arm to push a stray hair out of her eyes. "I don't hate you."

"Well, that makes one person. But don't lie for my sake, Kate. How could you not hate me?"

"When you uploaded that video did you know what I would do?"

"What? Of course I didn't. Do you really think I would have if I knew? Do you think I'm that fucking evil." Victoria misinterpreted what Kate was asking, and her voice shook a little as her annoyance seeped in.

"Did you force me to go up on that roof? Was I left with no other choices?"

"If I hadn't of done it, you would never have gone up on that roof. It was my fault."

"It was always going to happen."

"Damn it Kate, will you stop defending what I did? I'm sorry, okay? It was a malicious thing to do. You should hate me. I give you full permission to hate me. I don't believe in turning the other cheek." Victoria, out of habit, made a jab at Kate's religious beliefs.

Kate laughed at this. "Neither do I. All the stuff about Jesus, that's just to keep my parents happy. If anyone put me on that roof, it was my parents. I don't blame them though. I let it all happen. I pretended for so long, and it just all got to be too much. So stop blaming yourself, please." Kate glanced down at the tea hamper "Thanks for the tea, though."

Victoria stared at Kate, her mouth slightly open, speechless for once. "You're welcome. Don't tell anyone though."

"Why?"

"I do have a reputation to keep."

"You mean the reputation of being a huge … being a terrible person? You do know that everyone who matters can see right through that act?"

"I think we're done here. Enjoy your tea." Victoria walked back to her dorm, this time without Kate calling her back. Victoria smiled for the first time in days. Her heart felt a little warmer, and she felt that somehow the events of the past few days had gained her a new … friend? It had been so long since Victoria had a real friend, who wasn't afraid to be honest with her, that she had almost forgotten what a friend was.

[isearchgoood]

Have Your Agency’s Clients Considered a Local Product Kiosk? Google Has.

Posted by MiriamEllis

File this under fresh ideas for stagnant clients.

It’s 10:45 at night and I’m out of:

Tortillas

Avocados

Salsa

Maybe I just got off of work, like millions of other non-nine-to-fivers. Maybe I was running around with my family all day and didn’t get my errands done. Maybe I was feeling too sick to appear in a public grocery store wrapped in the ratty throw from my sofa.

And now, most of the local shops are closed for the night and I’m sitting here, taco-less and sad.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if I could search Google and find a kiosk just a couple of blocks away that would vend me solutions, no matter what time of night or day?

Something old is becoming new again, just like home delivery. And for your agency’s local business clients, the opportunity could become an amazing competitive advantage.

What’s up with kiosks?

Something old

The automat was invented in Germany in the late 19th century and took off in the US in the decades following, with industry leader Horn & Hardart’s last New York location only closing in 1991. These famous kiosks fed thousands of Americans on a daily basis with on-demand servings of macaroni, fish cakes, baked beans, and chicory coffee. The demise of the automat is largely blamed on the rise of the fast food industry, with Burger Kings even opening doors at former automat locations.

Something new

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching an episode of my favorite local SEO news roundup in which Ignitor Digital’s Carrie Hill mentioned a meat vending kiosk. I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more about this. What I learned sparked my imagination on behalf of local businesses which are always benefitted by at least considering fresh ideas, even if those ideas are actually just taking a page from history and editing it a bit.

Something inspirational

What I learned from my research is that the Applestone Meat Company is distinguishing itself from the competition by offering a 24/7 butcher shop via two vending installations in the state of New York. They also have a drive-up service window from 11am–6pm, but for the countless potential customers who are at work or elsewhere during so-called “normal business hours,” the meat kiosks are ever-ready to serve.

CEO Joshua Applestone says he was inspired by the memory of Horn & Hardart and he must be one smart local business owner to have taken this bold plunge. The company has already earned some pretty awesome unstructured citations from the likes of Bloomberg with this product marketing strategy and they’re planning to open ten more kiosks in the near future.

But Applestone isn’t alone. A kiosk can technically just be a fancy vending machine. Check out Chicago startup Farmer’s Fridge. They recently closed a $30 million Series C round led by one-time Google CEO Eric Schmidt’s Innovation Endeavors. Their 200+ midwestern units provide granola, Greek yogurt, pasta, wraps, beverages, and similar on-the-go fare, and they donate leftovers to local food pantries.

Americans have long been accustomed to ATM machines. DVD and game rental stations are old news to us. We are nowhere near Japan, with its sixty-billion-dollar-a-year, national vending machine density of one machine per 23 citizens, and its automated sales of everything from ramen to socks to umbrellas. Geography and economics don’t point to the need to go to such a level in the US, but where convenience is truly absent, opportunity may reside. What might that look like?

Use your imagination

My corner of the world is famous for its sourdough bread. There are hundreds of regional bakeries competing with one another for the crustiest, lightest, most indulgent loaf. But, if you don’t make it to the local stores by early afternoon, your favorite brand is likely to have sold out. And if you’re working the 47-hour American work week, or gigging California night and day but don’t want to live on fast food, you’d likely be quite grateful to have your access to artisan baguettes restored.

Just imagine every bread bakery around the SF Bay Area installing a kiosk outside its front door, and you can hear the satisfied after-hours crunching, can’t you?

Applestone is selling unprepared meat, Farmer’s Fridge is selling prepared meals, and almost anything people nosh could be a candidate for a kiosk, but why should on-demand products be limited to food? I let my imagination meander and jotted down a quick list of things people might buy at various off-hours, if a machine existed outside the storefront:

Books/magazines

Weather-appropriate basic apparel (sweatshirts, socks, t-shirts)

First aid supplies

Baby care supplies

Emergency electronics (chargers, batteries, flashlights)

Basic auto repair supplies (headlight bulbs, wipers, puncture kits)

Personal care products (bathroom tissue, toiletries)

Office supplies (printer ink, paper, envelopes, stamps)

Household goods (lightbulbs, laundry soap, pantry basics)

Pet supplies

Travel/camping/athletic supplies

Basic craft supplies, small games, gifts, etc.

What if customers who do their morning bike ride at 5 AM knew they could stop by your client’s kiosk to fix a punctured tire? What if night workers knew they could pick up a box of light bulbs or bandages or cat food on their way to their shift? Think of the convenience — in some instances even life-saving help — that could be provided to travelers on the road at all hours, members of your community who are housing-insecure, or whole neighborhoods that lack access to basic goods?

Not every local business has the right model for a kiosk, but once I started to think about it, I realized just how many of them could. I’m initially envisioning these machines being installed at the place of business, but, where the scenario is right, a company with the right type of inventory could certainly place additional kiosks in strategic locations around the communities they wish to serve.

Kiosk Local SEO

Clearly, kiosks can generate revenue, but what could they do for clients’ online presence? The guidelines for representing your business on Google already support the creation of local business listings for ATMs, video rental stations, and express mail dropboxes. But I went straight to Google with the Applewood example to ask if this emerging type of kiosk would be permitted to create listings. They were kind enough to reply:

The link in the Twitter DM reply just pointed to the general guidelines, and I can find no reference to the term “Food Kiosk listing” in them. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard this terminology. But, clearly this representative is naming food kiosks as a “thing.” Google, it seems, is already quite aware of this business model. And the proof of their support is in the Maps pudding:

My, my! Talk about having the ability to hyperlocalize your local search marketing to fit Google’s extreme emphasis on user-to-business proximity. Enough to make any local SEO agency see conversions and dollar signs for clients.

Tip #1: Helpline phone numbers

I’ve written about ATM SEO in the past for financial publications, and so I’ll add one important tip for creating eligible Google listings for kiosks: guidelines require that you have a helpline phone number for kiosk users. I would post this number both on the listings and on the units, themselves. Note that this will likely mean you have a shared phone number on multiple listings, which isn’t typically deemed ideal for local search marketing, but if kiosks become your model and you avoid any semblance of creating fake listings, Google can likely handle it.

Tip #2: Unique local landing pages for your kiosks

I can also see value in creating unique location landing pages on client websites for their kiosks, especially if they aren’t stationed at your physical location. These pages could give excellent driving and walking directions for each unit, explain how to use the machine, feature reviews and testimonials for that location, and perhaps highlight new inventory.

Tip #3: Capitalize on your social media

Social media will also be an excellent vehicle for letting particular neighborhoods know about client kiosks and engaging with communities to understand their sentiments. Seek abundant feedback about what is and isn’t working for customers and how inventory could better serve their needs. And, of course, be sure every client is monitoring reviews like a low-flying hawk.

Is there an appetite for kiosks?

Image credit: Ben Chun

I’m a longtime observer of rural local SEO. I’ve learned that being intentional in noticing small things can lead to big ideas, and almost any novel concept is worth floating to clients. The tiny, free book lending kiosks sometimes officially branded “Little Free Libraries” are everywhere in my county, have become a non-profit initiative, and are driving Etsy sales of cute wooden contraptions. Moreover, my region is dotted with unstaffed farm stands that operate on the honor system, trusting neighbors to pay for what they take. I’d say our household purchases about half of our produce from them.

Within recent recall, the milkman and the grocery delivery boy seemed as distant as the phonograph. Now, consumers are showing interest in having whole meal kits, entire wardrobes, and just about everything delivered. The point being: don’t discount anything that renders convenience; not the traveling salesman, not the automat.

The decision to experiment with a kiosk isn’t a simple one. There will be financial aspects, like how to access a unit that works for the inventory being sold. There will be security questions, as most businesses probably won’t feel comfortable operating on the honor system.

But if the question is whether there is an appetite for the right kiosk, selling the right goods, in the right place, I’ll close today with a look at these provocative, illuminating reviews from just one location of Farmer’s Fridge:

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

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[nutrifami]

Have Your Agency’s Clients Considered a Local Product Kiosk? Google Has.

Posted by MiriamEllis

File this under fresh ideas for stagnant clients.

It’s 10:45 at night and I’m out of:

Tortillas

Avocados

Salsa

Maybe I just got off of work, like millions of other non-nine-to-fivers. Maybe I was running around with my family all day and didn’t get my errands done. Maybe I was feeling too sick to appear in a public grocery store wrapped in the ratty throw from my sofa.

And now, most of the local shops are closed for the night and I’m sitting here, taco-less and sad.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if I could search Google and find a kiosk just a couple of blocks away that would vend me solutions, no matter what time of night or day?

Something old is becoming new again, just like home delivery. And for your agency’s local business clients, the opportunity could become an amazing competitive advantage.

What’s up with kiosks?

Something old

The automat was invented in Germany in the late 19th century and took off in the US in the decades following, with industry leader Horn & Hardart’s last New York location only closing in 1991. These famous kiosks fed thousands of Americans on a daily basis with on-demand servings of macaroni, fish cakes, baked beans, and chicory coffee. The demise of the automat is largely blamed on the rise of the fast food industry, with Burger Kings even opening doors at former automat locations.

Something new

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching an episode of my favorite local SEO news roundup in which Ignitor Digital’s Carrie Hill mentioned a meat vending kiosk. I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more about this. What I learned sparked my imagination on behalf of local businesses which are always benefitted by at least considering fresh ideas, even if those ideas are actually just taking a page from history and editing it a bit.

Something inspirational

What I learned from my research is that the Applestone Meat Company is distinguishing itself from the competition by offering a 24/7 butcher shop via two vending installations in the state of New York. They also have a drive-up service window from 11am–6pm, but for the countless potential customers who are at work or elsewhere during so-called “normal business hours,” the meat kiosks are ever-ready to serve.

CEO Joshua Applestone says he was inspired by the memory of Horn & Hardart and he must be one smart local business owner to have taken this bold plunge. The company has already earned some pretty awesome unstructured citations from the likes of Bloomberg with this product marketing strategy and they’re planning to open ten more kiosks in the near future.

But Applestone isn’t alone. A kiosk can technically just be a fancy vending machine. Check out Chicago startup Farmer’s Fridge. They recently closed a $30 million Series C round led by one-time Google CEO Eric Schmidt’s Innovation Endeavors. Their 200+ midwestern units provide granola, Greek yogurt, pasta, wraps, beverages, and similar on-the-go fare, and they donate leftovers to local food pantries.

Americans have long been accustomed to ATM machines. DVD and game rental stations are old news to us. We are nowhere near Japan, with its sixty-billion-dollar-a-year, national vending machine density of one machine per 23 citizens, and its automated sales of everything from ramen to socks to umbrellas. Geography and economics don’t point to the need to go to such a level in the US, but where convenience is truly absent, opportunity may reside. What might that look like?

Use your imagination

My corner of the world is famous for its sourdough bread. There are hundreds of regional bakeries competing with one another for the crustiest, lightest, most indulgent loaf. But, if you don’t make it to the local stores by early afternoon, your favorite brand is likely to have sold out. And if you’re working the 47-hour American work week, or gigging California night and day but don’t want to live on fast food, you’d likely be quite grateful to have your access to artisan baguettes restored.

Just imagine every bread bakery around the SF Bay Area installing a kiosk outside its front door, and you can hear the satisfied after-hours crunching, can’t you?

Applestone is selling unprepared meat, Farmer’s Fridge is selling prepared meals, and almost anything people nosh could be a candidate for a kiosk, but why should on-demand products be limited to food? I let my imagination meander and jotted down a quick list of things people might buy at various off-hours, if a machine existed outside the storefront:

Books/magazines

Weather-appropriate basic apparel (sweatshirts, socks, t-shirts)

First aid supplies

Baby care supplies

Emergency electronics (chargers, batteries, flashlights)

Basic auto repair supplies (headlight bulbs, wipers, puncture kits)

Personal care products (bathroom tissue, toiletries)

Office supplies (printer ink, paper, envelopes, stamps)

Household goods (lightbulbs, laundry soap, pantry basics)

Pet supplies

Travel/camping/athletic supplies

Basic craft supplies, small games, gifts, etc.

What if customers who do their morning bike ride at 5 AM knew they could stop by your client’s kiosk to fix a punctured tire? What if night workers knew they could pick up a box of light bulbs or bandages or cat food on their way to their shift? Think of the convenience — in some instances even life-saving help — that could be provided to travelers on the road at all hours, members of your community who are housing-insecure, or whole neighborhoods that lack access to basic goods?

Not every local business has the right model for a kiosk, but once I started to think about it, I realized just how many of them could. I’m initially envisioning these machines being installed at the place of business, but, where the scenario is right, a company with the right type of inventory could certainly place additional kiosks in strategic locations around the communities they wish to serve.

Kiosk Local SEO

Clearly, kiosks can generate revenue, but what could they do for clients’ online presence? The guidelines for representing your business on Google already support the creation of local business listings for ATMs, video rental stations, and express mail dropboxes. But I went straight to Google with the Applewood example to ask if this emerging type of kiosk would be permitted to create listings. They were kind enough to reply:

The link in the Twitter DM reply just pointed to the general guidelines, and I can find no reference to the term “Food Kiosk listing” in them. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard this terminology. But, clearly this representative is naming food kiosks as a “thing.” Google, it seems, is already quite aware of this business model. And the proof of their support is in the Maps pudding:

My, my! Talk about having the ability to hyperlocalize your local search marketing to fit Google’s extreme emphasis on user-to-business proximity. Enough to make any local SEO agency see conversions and dollar signs for clients.

Tip #1: Helpline phone numbers

I’ve written about ATM SEO in the past for financial publications, and so I’ll add one important tip for creating eligible Google listings for kiosks: guidelines require that you have a helpline phone number for kiosk users. I would post this number both on the listings and on the units, themselves. Note that this will likely mean you have a shared phone number on multiple listings, which isn’t typically deemed ideal for local search marketing, but if kiosks become your model and you avoid any semblance of creating fake listings, Google can likely handle it.

Tip #2: Unique local landing pages for your kiosks

I can also see value in creating unique location landing pages on client websites for their kiosks, especially if they aren’t stationed at your physical location. These pages could give excellent driving and walking directions for each unit, explain how to use the machine, feature reviews and testimonials for that location, and perhaps highlight new inventory.

Tip #3: Capitalize on your social media

Social media will also be an excellent vehicle for letting particular neighborhoods know about client kiosks and engaging with communities to understand their sentiments. Seek abundant feedback about what is and isn’t working for customers and how inventory could better serve their needs. And, of course, be sure every client is monitoring reviews like a low-flying hawk.

Is there an appetite for kiosks?

Image credit: Ben Chun

I’m a longtime observer of rural local SEO. I’ve learned that being intentional in noticing small things can lead to big ideas, and almost any novel concept is worth floating to clients. The tiny, free book lending kiosks sometimes officially branded “Little Free Libraries” are everywhere in my county, have become a non-profit initiative, and are driving Etsy sales of cute wooden contraptions. Moreover, my region is dotted with unstaffed farm stands that operate on the honor system, trusting neighbors to pay for what they take. I’d say our household purchases about half of our produce from them.

Within recent recall, the milkman and the grocery delivery boy seemed as distant as the phonograph. Now, consumers are showing interest in having whole meal kits, entire wardrobes, and just about everything delivered. The point being: don’t discount anything that renders convenience; not the traveling salesman, not the automat.

The decision to experiment with a kiosk isn’t a simple one. There will be financial aspects, like how to access a unit that works for the inventory being sold. There will be security questions, as most businesses probably won’t feel comfortable operating on the honor system.

But if the question is whether there is an appetite for the right kiosk, selling the right goods, in the right place, I’ll close today with a look at these provocative, illuminating reviews from just one location of Farmer’s Fridge:

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