#I started reading Stranger in a Strange Land btw

[duckiefishie]

Lalalalala I forgot I had a Tumblr account :3

Sorry for not posting, I had tests for school and I started reading a new book and blah blah, a bunch of other things

I will try to post more art soon, I swear

[sleepyhutcherson]

Hi! I have a sweet fluffy and very angsty Mike Schmidt idea, if you'd like it??

Okay, so what if Mike and the reader dated for a good while in highschool? Like, they were childhood best friends, tried dating in highschool, but ultimately decided that it was a classic case of "right person, wrong time"? Like, they genuinely love each other, but when they were teenagers, they just couldn't do it.. I hope that made sense?

Know It’s For The Better

pairing: mike schmidt x gn!reader

word count: 3.1k words

contains: child bestfriends to lovers to strangers (sorta), “right person, wrong time”, angst, use of y/n, reader works at a cafe, they’re genuinely so in love w each other but it’s just never the right time.

a/n: thank you so much for requesting this anon!! this was so fun to write xx peep the ‘normal people’ and phoebe bridgers references in this. btw maybe this could do a part two but idk.

You lived a quiet—boring, surely—but cosy life at twenty two. You lived alone in a lousy, small flat that you were growing to like more and more everyday as you started shaping it more around your liking. You worked at a small cafe that paid you pretty well, with hours that worked just right for you. You were comfortable at your job, your co-workers were all friendly with each other, you couldn’t complain about your life, even if it was dull.

On your day off your boss had asked you to come in, you agreed but frankly you were a little pissed that you were working on your day off. The cold weather today drew customers away so in a way you couldn’t really complain. You were at the counter, a book in hand that you would occasionally peek up from to glance at the weather from the window. It amused you how only yesterday the sun was shining brightly and now today the sky was threatening to pour, the wind blowing harshly through the trees.

You return your attention to your book, having to re read the passage again. Just then, the bells hanging above the door chime, announcing someone’s arrival. You perk up, closing your book and setting it aside.

You complained about your life lacking entertainment only weeks ago, wishing for some kind of shocker to just happen.

You, however, did not mean for that “shocker” to be Mike Schmidt.

For a second all you can do is stare at him, trying to figure out if you were hallucinating. It was such a rush seeing him—your breath caught, your brows knitted as you tried to make out if it was really him. The last time you saw him he was about eighteen, grasping onto you as he sobbed, precious words being said between you two. But, irritatingly enough, you think you could recognise him anywhere, even after all this time, from merely his appearance, to his hazel eyes you remember getting caught up in, to the familiar black coat he wears even now.

Mike reacts about the same, his eyes widening, the light inside the cafe reflecting on them just perfectly. You almost get trapped into them again.

“Mike,” you breathe out after some time. His name sounds so strange coming out of your mouth.

“Hey,” he replies, tone uncertain. Your eyes trail up to the curls that rest carefully on his head, and you smile. You used to practically beg Mike not to cut his hair, loving the curls that formed whenever he kept it just a little longer than usual. Now he kept them, messily, but still enough to lure your eyes. "How…how are you?" He manages to ask.

Your hands rest on the cool counter in front of you, you can see the way Mike’s eyes land on your hands, longing for touch. “I’m doing good. How have you been?”

“Good.” A simple reply. This all felt weird, seeing each other again after your failed relationship, one neither of you have really moved on from.

Silence. A long, painful silence.

“So, are you going to order something?” You ask, smiling the way you would smile at any other customer because a part of you just wanted to believe he was just another customer. “My boss will scold me if he sees I’m only talking with the only customer we’ve had all day.”

“Right,” Mike looks up at the menu, although he really only came for black coffee. When he looks back at you, his mouth opens, and closes, like he’s debating on what he’s going to say. “I don’t know if you’re busy later but do you want to…catch up? If you’re free, of course.”

You had nothing else to do and you didn’t really have it in you to reject him. “Yeah, okay. I get off in two hours.”

Mike shyly smiles, trying not to be too obvious your agreement meant a lot. “Sounds good,” he says, and then remembers Abby has a school project she’s supposed to work on at home today. “Shit, is it alright if we meet at my place? Abby has this project she needs to work on for school…unless you want to reschedule…”

You can’t help but smile when he mentions Abby, the last time you saw her she was still a baby—about three years old, to be exact. Mike was taking care of her practically full time, you helped with her as much as you could, both of you being constantly mistaken as her parents.

“That’s fine,” you say. He thanks you, throwing in an apology for the inconvenience that you wave off. He writes down his address on a napkin before leaving, not even ordering that black coffee that had drawn him to the small cafe in the first place.

—

The blue front door makes you question if you have the right address. Compared to every other house in the dull neighbourhood, Mike’s house appeared to be the only one with a colourful door—that is if this was Mike’s place.

You’re proven correct when the front door swings open and Abby, who you recognise almost immediately despite her being much older than the last time you saw her. She smiles widely, but it’s obvious she doesn’t recognise you.

“Hello…” you say, awkwardly. You’re not even sure what to tell her when she asks who you are—a friend of Mike’s? It just sounded odd. You’re saved when Mike appears behind Abby.

“Y/N,” he seems pleased to see you. In fact, Mike is pleased to see you. Honestly, he wasn’t sure you would actually stop by. “Oh—Abby, this is who I was telling you about.” Mike says, and you recognise that gentle, almost innocent tone he always used with Abby.

“Hi,” she greets with a smile, standing by Mike’s side. “Mike hasn’t shut up about you—“ she’s interrupted when Mike looks at her with a more stern expression. “Oh, sorry!” She apologises, giggling—she knew well what she was doing.

“Why don’t you go and continue your project, yeah?” Mike suggests, paying no attention to you anymore, his focus entirely on Abby right now.

“Okay.” Abby agrees, which surprises Mike a little. She says a quick “goodbye” to you before running off to her bedroom.

Mike then looks back at you, cheeks slightly flustered. Don’t ever tell Abby anything ever again he makes a mental note of that. “Come in?”

You don’t know what exactly you expected walking into Mike’s home but you feel somewhat pleased seeing Abby’s drawings displayed everywhere in the house, stuffed animals — a dolphin, two bears, a rabbit, a duck, and even a fox — neatly sitting next to each other on the sofa. The house has such a childlike atmosphere to it that you couldn’t help but smile.

“Do you want something to drink?” Mike asks, looking for something in the fridge.

“Sure, thanks.” You reply, your eyes still ogling Mike’s home.

Surely a lot of the decor had to be Abby’s idea, there was so much colour everywhere; from the pillows, the carpet, a crocheted blanket on the sofa, the little toy figures that were placed on the TV stand. It had to be Abby’s touch, the only colours you ever saw on Mike were dull shades of greys and blues.

You’re pulled away by the sound of Mike setting down two glasses of some kind of soft drink on the table. “Abby’s a talented artist,” you say, sitting down at the table, across from Mike.

A small chuckle escapes Mike’s lips. “Yeah,” he agrees, taking a long sip of his drink as he stares at the drawing you were fixated on. “She’s got a real chance at being someone great in life.”

You both don’t say anything for a minute. Mike dreads the silence that falls between the two of you, trying to think of something to say to fill it.

“She’s grown a ton,” you then say. Seeing Abby brought you back so many memories—the good ones, for there were so many of those with Mike. “Remember that time we took her to the park and she kept trying to eat flowers?” You laugh at the memory, one you haven’t thought about in a while.

Mike smiles upon hearing your laugh. “Yeah. She loves flowers, I mean, of course she doesn’t try to eat them anymore but she’s pretty skilled at painting them.”

“She’s doing good then?” You ask.

Mike nods, his hands wrapped around his glass. “Yeah. She’s doing great. Her birthday’s coming up so she won’t shut up about that.” He says teasingly.

“Oh, how old is she turning?” You ask.

“Eight,” he answers, running his finger around the rim of the glass. He couldn’t sit still being around you, his heart racing, but he tried not to acknowledge it.

“That makes me feel old,” you joke, which actually gets a genuine laugh from Mike.

“Then what does that make me?” He teases, a wide smile on his face that makes your heart flutter. Mike was only one year older than you making him twenty three.

You don’t reply and then it hits you, Mike is twenty three, he’s not eighteen anymore. Of course you knew that, you just never really realised just how long it’s been, how much you’ve missed. It’s been five years since you last saw to him—five birthdays you missed, Abby’s and his.

The atmosphere changes then. A depressing realisation hitting you. Mike wasn’t anyone to you anymore. He was once someone to you, not just your boyfriend but your childhood best friend. But now? He could easily be a stranger.

You take a sip of your drink then, and you can feel Mike’s eyes on you. You could always tell when Mike was staring at you, there was something so different about the way his eyes felt on you compared to anyone else’s.

There’s another dreadful silence then. You force yourself to look at the way the bubbles in your drink rise, the way the ice cubes crash into each other.

“Did you feel ashamed seeing me today after how things ended?” Your head snaps up once hearing Mike’s question. You don’t know what to even think—what to even say! He’s got you in a spot, and now you wonder, did you?

No. You didn’t. You really didn’t. You longed for him for so long, for the memories you shared, the pretty words that were exchanged—the many promises that were said.

“No,” you reply, your hands wrapped around the chill glass, still staring at it like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. “I just…it was difficult seeing you.”

Mike nods even if you can’t see him. “I know,” he replies, and then; “it was hard for me, too.” He says a little more quietly.

You realise how unfair everything is, how you and Mike are being pulled together again all of the sudden after all these years—after it never worked for you two. There was always something pulling you apart when you were dating, a sudden intervening, but you both always tried to make it work. Until, of course, both of you saw it best to end things, that perhaps there was a reason why you were being pulled apart.

The last time you saw Mike he was eighteen, trying to find a job to help provide for Abby, and mourning the sudden absence of his father. It wasn’t a good time for him.

A guilt washes over you because you deserted him the time he needed you most. “I’m so sorry,” you say, finally building up the courage to meet his eyes. Honestly, he had no idea what exactly you were apologising for.

His brows pinch together slightly, his eyes fixed on yours with such focus even if you’re avoiding his. “You don’t have anything to apologise for,” he says, “we both agreed it was…best to end things.” Which was true, the breakup was mutual, one both of you agreed to despite how much it pained both of you.

“I shouldn’t have left you though,” your eyes are sad and Mike can’t bear the way they look.

Mike smiles sadly, reaching across for you hands. They’re cold from the glass, the contact from his hands immediately warming yours up. You don’t pull away from his touch, the sudden touch startles you but you soon relax at the familiarity.

“Maybe it was for the better.” Your heart breaks at his words, the memories that linger within them. The memory of Mike kissing your tears away, whispering “it’s for the better” between each kiss that last time you saw him.

Your eyes shut, and you let your head fall not wanting Mike to see you struggle fighting back tears. The sudden sound of his chair screeching against the tile making your eyes flutter open, and soon Mike is kneeling beside you, looking up at you with his soft, doleful eyes.

“Hey, hey,” he whispers, his tone rather soothing. He tries to meet your eyes but you look away from his knowing that if you do you’ll probably break. “Look at me, baby.” You relent, being manipulated to meet his eyes hearing the intimate nickname.

And for a moment you both just stare into each other’s eyes, Mike’s mouth opening slightly, being enamoured by the sight of you alone. He could live like this—staring up at you, if he could he thinks he would agree to stay like this forever, with you being his only sight.

He stands up and pulls you up with him, his hands resting on your waist holding you still. Holding you tightly, scared to lose you again. “I’ve thought about you everyday since,” he admits in a whisper. You feel a pang of guilt.

“Mike,” you sigh, your hands grasping onto his dark blue zip up tightly, your knuckles turning white.

He doesn’t say anything. His hands move up slowly from your waist, to your arms, to your shoulders, to your neck and finally up to cup your face. It’s such an intense moment, both of you overwhelmed with the touch.

Mike fears that this could be the last time he touches you, he doesn’t know where this will go but with the reputation you both have he isn’t sure this will end well. You know it, too. You know that the universe has spawned Mike back into your life the very moment you’re far too busy for a relationship. You don’t want to address it, you don’t even want to recognise it yourself so you say nothing.

But you both know deep down.

His hands feel warm against your skin, they’re callous but perfect against your cheeks. “I’m here,” you say, “so kiss me.” It comes out more desperate than you would like, but it doesn’t matter, you were desperate, craving what could be a last kiss.

Mike doesn’t hesitate, of course. He pulls you in, gradually, looking at you briefly before he closes his eyes to push his lips against yours. Your body weakens, your heart beating quickly in your chest as the kiss deepens. He makes sure to take his time like he did the last time, kissing you ever so passionately. He wants you to know that in this moment he has everything. That the one thing he has ever lacked in life has finally come back to him even if only briefly.

You can tell that he’s giving you all the control—punishing you to be the one to have to pull away first because if it were up to Mike he would scoop you in and keep you here like this forever if he could. If you’d let him.

Pulling away from the longing, awaited kiss leaves you hungry still. A pathetic moan escapes Mike’s lips when you pull away, as if you’ve just put a dagger through his already maimed heart. You clutch onto his shirt now, looking at his eyes that are growing bigger, sadder.

“No tears this time,” you say, more to yourself, but when you say it a single tear rolls down your cheek. You let out a chuckle, Mike smiles a little too sad for your liking, wiping the tear away with his thumb. But you can feel that threatening knot in your throat. You bury your face into Mike’s chest, his hand going to the back of your head, softly stroking your hair.

You cry into his chest, grasping desperately onto his shirt. Both of you had a strong feeling this would be the last time you would see each other for a while. You sob into his chest, staining his grey shirt with your tears. You were mourning someone who was alive. You felt your body warm up with anger, not at anyone specifically, but because this would always be your ending, the time just never right.

Mike forces himself to look up at the ceiling, forcing back tears. He continues to stroke your hair, letting you cry into his shirt. When you’ve calmed down, he kisses the top of your head before pulling you back to look at you once more.

“We’ll be okay,” he hears himself say.

You nod, wanting to believe him, but by the look on his face he doesn’t seem to believe himself. “Okay,” you say, “I’ll go.”

His hands still cradle your face carefully. “And I’ll stay.” He whispers, a tear escaping.

You grasp his face, a little less gentle than he’s been with you. You pull him closer to you, planting a chaste kiss on his cheek. And then another. And another. And several more. When you’re done you take notice of his curls again, you move up to tangle them in between your fingers, tugging at them just slightly. It makes Mike smile.

“I keep them for you now,” he mumbles. “I know how much you used to love them.”

“I still do.” You whisper, tugging at them one last time before letting them go. You move towards the front door which isn't too far from the dining table and Mike follows.

He grabs your arm before you can open the front door. He turns you to face him, his hands moving up to cradle your face, planting a long, delicate kiss on your forehead. A goodbye kiss. A promising kiss that this doesn’t have to be the last. A kiss that speaks more than he does, telling you he’s always here for you to come back to him. He’ll wait.

[fayrinferno]

The Terror of the Franklin Expedition (in my head)

So, a while back I watched The Terror and... there were warnings that it was a rabbit hole but I did not specifically mind them. Boy oh boy, was I wrong.

So I started watching this, knowing it was only one of the most critically acclaimed series of the recent years, strangely popular with both men and women, and that it was based on a true story. I haven't heard the story before, in this land-locked country, the naval exploration just isn't a huge thing even for history buffs. It's funny how the geography forms you.

Tell you truth, my first watch was rather lukewarm. I am no stranger to Hinds, Menzies, or Harris, so their acting did not floor me, I knew what to expect. I wasn't hanging onto every word and I only vaguely realized all the people with sideburns probably weren't just one guy. The creature felt kinda far-fetched although yeah, the atmosphere of dread it contributed to felt very real. But I guess what really cemented my interest was looking at the historical stuff. About halfway in, I carefully started searching, almost immediately finding out about the discovery of the Fitzjames' mandible, discovering the findings of the tumblr fandom, soon after, I got to see the frozen mummies of Beechey island, read about the archaeological discoveries, few and far between... and yeah, suddenly I was intrigued and it got my 100% undivided attention. So much that I watched the show again, back to back (that never happens). Mostly to catch the details and the real story references, ngl, but I did pay more attention to the little guys as well.

In the last few weeks, I did the expected run of documentaries, videos, articles and news, and a question has got stuck in my head: why is this whole matter so fascinating? I know, it was the most tragic Arctic expedition, it was a huge mystery, it was a race to discover what happened... but is it just that? I got to thinking: would it be the same without all the elements? I think this legend of a story wouldn't be the same without any of the following.

The huge, altruistic goal and the sense of adventure. Obviously you can (and should) think of it in terms of colonialism and finding new, or easier ways of obtaining wealth by discovering possible new trade routes. But it isn't just that. They go where (almost) none has dared before. It was the space exploration of their time! The environment will give them practically nothing, they need to have all that they may need on board of their ships. And they do, they have everything their age can offer. They still know it may kill them, many of them firsthand. And yet, they dare. They present it as this greater goal, a possible victory for humanity. And it feels almost Verne-esque.

The almost literary quality of the story. I mean, just looking at the story, at the names, at the background of the protagonists... it feels like fiction! It literally feels like someone named these characters, thinking of "what name would fit the vibe of this character?" Yes, I'm aware that Simmons probably plays the nominative determinism, since so does the show. I know the characters of The Terror do not need to match the actual people (nice of the writers to sort of absolve the real Hickey btw., but his name truly sounds villainous). But these names felt almost like they couldn't have been just accidental. And even beyond the names, they are like fictional characters, starting from Sir John Franklin... a dignified name, though he once "ate his boots" already... and it did not cure his hubris any! Who the hell is named James Fitzjames and has a backstory like that? Doesn't Francis Crozier sound like the most reasonable of the three? The person responsible for the well-being of the crew of all people is called Goodsir? And so on. Everyone whose name should sound pompous DOES, and the same goes for plain ones. I almost don't feel the irony that the real life usually brings with itself. And then, the names of the ships. You sail into this deadly area with your metal bands ships called Paralyzing Fear a.k.a. The Terror and Personification of Darkness., a.k.a. The Hell. Brutal. Not like a cartoon villain naming his lair at all. I know British navy had many ships at the time. I know they would have been named all kinds of names, both glorious and silly. But names of these ships would make sense in reverse; if they were (nick)named later on by some historians after knowing the horrific fate of the expedition.

The tangible horror. Going through all kinds of Franklin content and reading the comments of the people (which I admit is my bad habit), I lost count of how many times I've seen one like: "I saw the Jon Torrington mummy at (preteen age) and I never forgot it again/became obsessed about the story." I think about the mummies a lot. Like, would it be the same for the contemporary "fandom" if we had never seen those faces? If there were only fragments of bones? If we never knew how emaciated they were but still treated with (for the situation) unexpected level of care for their final rest? An unimaginable number of the nameless people historically, even their contemporaries, died of similar causes, in much milder environment, right within civilization... of disease that had no cure at the time, of the long-term effect of harmful substances that people were not aware of or did not/could not care about, of violence, of overwork, of starvation, of exposure... many of them younger, possibly more pitiful than these sailors. Many of the Franklin expedition would be a more pitiful sight on their deathbed. But you never saw their eyes, knew the exact colour of their hair. You never bridged those centuries of decomposition; not only of their bodies, of memories, of feelings. So many people died facing hardships so that we could be here, with the knowledge we have. But nothing gives you the sense of empathy like seeing someone's face. The mixed feelings of empathy and horror (the uncanny valley is a strong thing) upon seeing the bodies for the first time are indeed unforgettable. And you can imagine just another almost literary paradox: the Beechey survivors would look with pity at Torrington, Hartnell, and Braine. But it is very likely that none of the over hundred other men would have had a better fate than those three. Just, insane levels of foreshadowing and stuff.

The tangible desperation. There is still so much we don't know about the expedition. But even knowing nothing about its fate besides the bare fact of getting stuck where they did, you could imagine the level of desperation. Their only means of transport, immobile, and being slowly crushed, with no one knowing for how long. Even spending that winter on the ships having everything they needed must have been a trial for the psyche already. And then, the insane walk. You can barely imagine how much they must have steeled themselves for that. Did they know the distance they would have to walk or was it just kept from them like the fictional Crozier tries to keep away everything that may affect the morale? Everything would have been becoming worse and worse... the malnutrition, the diseases, the cold... And I can just see it leading to the grisly end. Imagine how much, as one of the last survivors, you would have gone through until that point. How physically and mentally resilient you had to be, how strong your will to live had to be, how hard you had to convince yourself that it was not hopeless. It would be impossible to get as far without it. And then you realize it was not enough. You got that far, went through it all, and it was all for nothing. It's chilling to think of the state of mind like that... breaking, or just continuing to walk that survival mode slope? I'll leave the cannibalism discourse to the anthropologists, but you just know there are people capable of that and worse, and it doesn't require such pressure and time spent under it. I couldn't help but wonder who the last survivors were, whether they were Darwin's biologically fittest, the Hobbesian wolves of humans, or if it was those who could best cooperate... we will never know. It's way too deep. It's...

The mystery and the irony. It wasn't even that long time ago, and yet we can only piece together a few archaeological sites, Inuit oral history, random items, hearsay... and it's unlikely to get much better. Most of the crew's many handwritten notes are gone with hopes of finding more waning. Even what was almost perfectly savoured is so sparse. I cannot understand, for example, why these tubed notes in two(!) separate cairns that preserved them for decades had to be written on page margins. Was there no more paper left? Was there no time to record the fate and cause of death of Franklin himself at least, if not the other people who died around that time, especially when you compare it to the Beechey victims? And then, the sheer irony of the silly, very human, poems surviving, shielded by a dead body of a man who did not even write them. And the passing mentions of some, probably more telling, handwritten materials given to Inuit babies to play. The role of the Inuit in the whole story, even... fascinating. Coming back to the first point, I can only applaud the author of this story. I'll remain curious to read the next instalment about the lead level in Fitzjames' teeth or whatever. I'm sure the scientific community and tumblr will deliver it to me eventually.

Oh yeah, and go watch The Terror (season 1). Beware, but, watch it.

[rainbowgod666]

Warning: this is a massive joke based entirely on this video by Red Overlysarcasticproductions (here known as @comicaurora. Yes thats why the artstyle of Aurora is so familiar, congratulations you can recognize patterns and are on the same level as a crow) (crows are cool so its fine 🐦‍⬛)

Stranger in a strange land except yours truly wrote it

1) Micheal is SO BLATANTLY the definition of femboy he gets (IN THE DAMN BOOK) a Fuckton Of Porn Of Him (Which he *likes* for reasons unknown even for ME)

"doesnt understand lying" and then he gets it and he SWEARS UP A FUCKING CATEGORY 6 HURRICANE at the protagonists for an *entire chapter* and its something that NEVER actually happens in the book. Like _at most_ he says "golly" or "darn" and then he just grabs all co-protags by the collar and goes ƳØŲ FÜÇƘÏÑĢ ŁÎŢŤĻË ŞĤĮȚŜ-

its part of MY MULTIVERSE. Which means that around the middle of the book, it turns out that parallel universes are real and nobody wants to conquer anybody because "nobody gives a shit"

This also explains how Mandela County is the 51st state of america even tho it doesnt get a star on the flag: Gabriel (yes that one) appeared and everyone went to him like "please for the love of FUCK make a government" and now its full of transhumanist transgenders (which sounds cool AF btw but whatever)

And also why pokemon dont exist. Long story short the Infinity Energy is a pokemon-only thing and the funny critters DISINTEGRATE without it (whoops)

Micheal meets the ACTUAL angel micheal and they both read the original stranger in a strange land and theyre both disgusted by it. Like holy fuck

The SCP foundation doesnt outright "appear" but its so fucking blatantly obvious that they are there. As in- theres a chapter where the only SCP word is "epsilon 11 nine tailed fox" and its in ONE chapter and its to breach the house of a terrorist

Turns out a martians powers in this book are a mixed bag of references: limited telepathy, steven universe tier empathy (like me hahahahaha i am in pain actually ;w;) and their skin is SLIGHTLY different from a human so whats a little burn for us can become A FUCKING WILDFIRE

Yes theres 2/3 or so chapters about him trying to get pyrokinesis, then jill is like "dude. You are flammable, not pyrokinetical" and he goes home sad

Jill actually has a deep seated trauma which kinda EXPLAINS her """promiscuity""" (dont worry, its a school thing and not a family one) and she gets over it by... getting a girlfriend.

No im not doing this alone half the concepts are either fetishes or political statements and i dont have time for this shit

Also micheal turns out to like gay sex more than straight sex which is weirdly phrased at first bit the reality is that seeing Feminine Guys™ makes him lose his marbles a bit. And by a bit i mean that theres an entire sentence where he says shit that only here on tumblr would be accepted, and it would be classified as "do not tumblrize the thirsty white cishet male please. Its bad enough". Yes he starts crying about it. Micheal may or may not be a big ball of explosive emotions. Whoops!

Speaking of Brain Bullshit: every autistic person ever has a power REGARDLESS of their intellect. This is explained by me (BECAUSE IM NOT PUTTING A STUPID SELF INSERT. IM GETTING IN THERE MYSELF BOY/GIRL/WHATEVERIDONTCAREIJUSTHOPEYOUGOTACOOLFLAGWITHIT) and the explaination chapter ends with a sentient mass of fuel-bleeding something going like "my iq is the same as a borzoi and these people are the dumbest idiots ive ever seen" and me agreeing (because hes right)

Also apotheosis is a thing but its so fucking stupid only the non rich can do it without going insane (obviously) (no they do not lose their sense of mortality/humanity. Thats a cop-out the size of the perseus supercluster)

The only reason he gets an autism diagnosis is because of that whole soup of "being an alien + not understanding society + op bullshit". He doesnt learn what autism IS until the last chapter.

And what happens then? He goes back to mars with a bunch of earth games and films. Mostly to share them with other martians to figure out wtf is a compooter. The epilogue is the release of "stranger in a strange land". An 8-bit styled RPG where youre an alien trying to save humans and

Oh who the fuck am I kidding. In my version of stranger in a strange land, Micheal invents fucking UNDERTALE

[rayofsunas]

otherworldly! s/o

A/n: happy monday! I woke up at 7am and since then I've been grinding out assignments/classes and now this, so I actually feel productive even though I've been staring at my computer for a while. but thank you for requesting anon! I enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it! <33 also to understand this more, I'd like to point out that this connects to the speculation Genshin and Honkai are alternate universes of one another. so for example, Scaramouche is a harbinger from his time, but he may have been a warlord in a different, with a completely different name (keeping his appearance ofc) hope that makes sense. so if you've paid attention to what I've been saying about Scara and his mini-series, etc. you'll understand what I mean in Scara's lol. his reader insert is fem for the same reason as above btw!

Summary: otherworldly! s/o who arrived as a fallen meteor, that can bring back plants to life/heal deep wounds/scars and resurrect people.

Parings: Albedo/Gn! Reader, Xiao/Gn! Reader, Scaramouche/Fem! Reader

Warnings: swearing, fluff, alternate realities/time traveler au! (reader is not the traveler), death/resurrection

Word count: 1.7k

Albedo

you don't have a vision like some people in Teyvat, because you're not from there; you're from a whole different world itself. instead, you have healing abilities that allow you to any energy you absorb in the form of food/sunlight, and you can use that energy to heal others. though, the healing can only go as far as healing minor injuries such as shallow cuts, scratches, or smoothing out scars. the same can work if you were to heal yourself.

Albedo is so intrigued when he finds you passed out in the pit of a meteor, half of your body hanging out while the other is awkwardly still in it

one, because who is this stranger in a meteor for crying out loud

and two, he notices your wounds on your arms are healing by themselves, slowly though

as someone who studies alchemy, life forms, and such, he's very intrigued that you're able to heal yourself without medicine, and he wonders if you can do the same to others

so he takes you to his lab, and runs a few tests

yes, you're still passed out when this happens, but he's just so curious and couldn't hold back

don't worry though, he's just drawing some blood and testing to see what you can do, because who knows, you may not even speak his language and won't be able to communicate with him (doesn't make a difference Albedo, you need COnSENT-)

so, just for science, he cuts the palm of his hand a little and decides to see if you can heal him

it doesn't take him long to notice the way the tips of your fingers are glowing a light greenish-yellow, so he immediately assumes that's the source of your powers and places a finger on his palm

it takes a second before anything happens, but eventually his cut starts to slowly close

once again he's even more shocked and intrigued

you have the natural ability and he's never come across someone with so much raw strength being able to do that

so you're right up his alley

when you wake up you're confused as hell (obviously) but thankfully, you can speak his language and are able to share your story

Albedo decides to make a deal with you

he'll help you get home if you can educate him more about your ability and your homeland. you agree

it works out perfectly, because you both have something the other needs/can do for the other (you have your power that he's interested in, and he's found a way for you to return home)

it's also easy to work together because of those same common interests, and it helps that he studies alchemy cause he's way more knowledgeable about you and the process can go a tiny bit quicker for you if you wish to return home sooner

at first you're merely friends, co-workers if you wish

but then he starts falling for you and vice versa

you both genuinely enjoy each others company, so you decide to stay in Teyvat a little while longer, even after he finds a way for you to go home

I wouldn't put it past Albedo to want to return to your world if you allow it

he'd be interested in this new or not so new world ;)

Xiao

you're like the traveler in a sense, where as soon as you climbed out of the meteor, you felt this connection to Teyvat and your vision randomly appeared. you have a dendro vision, something you learned was a rarity within liyue and mondstadt. along with that vision, you had the previous ability to grow/heal plants. you can bring back dead plants, though if they've been dead for a very long time, that's beyond your ability. they also can't be brought back if they've been badly burned.

Xiao may not be interested at first about what vision you have or even where you came from + why the hell you climbed out of a meteor

he's more interested in getting you home so you can stop asking questions about his own abilities/vision and odd, unfamiliar, but beautiful world

but boy when he catches you bringing back a wilted Glaze Lily?!? shook

he secretly thinks you're so cool and it piques his interest

he's never seen anyone do this before, and though his eyes were deceiving him when he first saw the lily spring to life again

but then when he catches you healing more plants, on your way to Liyue to hopefully find Zhongli for answers, he's so interested

he doesn't ask a crapload of questions, BUT he's going to ask at least one or two

"how're you doing that?"

"what are you?

the questions are kind of vague and require more in-depth explanations than he'd originally hoped, but he's surprisingly willing to listen to your story on the way to the harbor

after he learns your story and calls for Zhongli, he'll immediately leave and claim he has no further interests in you

but he's obviously lying

he finds as he's sitting on top of one the smaller mountains one night, looking down at the glowing Liyue town, he has more questions

way more questions

surprising Zhongli, Xiao shows appears when he's showing you around and getting you accustomed to the people/culture

he finds himself hoving behind you, shyly almost, never asking questions (at least not in Zhongli's presence

his reason for standing behind you is to protect you from any harm, so that way, when he decides to ask you more questions, you'll be there for him to do so and not dead or lost

when you tell Zhongli you'd wish to stay in Teyvat, specifically Liyue, Xiao is happy ngl

he can ask you questions and now that you're somewhat used to Liyue, having been here for four months already and planning to stay forever, he can catch you alone and ask questions without Zhongli hovering or acting as your tour guide lol

slowly, and I mean sluggishly slow, he's going to ask you more questions and he may, emphasis on may, tell you his own story

Scaramouche

you're from an alternate reality of Teyvat, a former doctor in your world. basically, Teyvat hundreds of years in the future. you've studied the human body to become a doctor obviously and you used to be able to bring back the dead using your bare hands. it didn't matter how far back ago they've died, as long as their full-body was still intact (full skeleton needed). though, the further back they died, the more energy you'd use, and if you run out of energy too soon, you couldn't bring them back. but now in this strange land, you can't. in exchange for your powers being lost, you're given an electro vision.

Scaramouche is tasked with finding out more about these odd meteors that keep appearing in various corners of Teyvat

and one very large one

he doesn't care who you are, what you are, what your excuse for being in Teyvat is, but he's been ordered to explore the fallen meteor and since you happened to be passed out inside it upon further exploration, you're part of the mystery he's been told to check out

and, it doesn't further help your situation that you landed in Snezhnaya, in the weirdest, not-so-warm clothing AND he finds you attractive (yes, you heard it here folks), plus you're going to catch hypothermia out here dressed like that

it would suck for a pretty girl such as yourself to be frozen to death

so Scaramouche decides to take you to the Tsaritsa, who leaves you in Scaramouche's care since he found you

she says he can do whatever he wants you, dispose of you, etc.

when you finally come too in an odd room on a couch in front of a fireplace, you're confused, cold as hell despite the flames, and when you see his face, you're immediately angered, which he finds odd

it's almost as if you recognize him... but he doesn't recognize you so he's confused as well

"what're you doing here?"

bold of you, he thinks. to question him with that tone as if you have authority here, over him

"watch yourself. I was going to ask you the same."

you don't seem too pleased with him though

"we agreed to never speak again, or so I thought..."

"are you stupid or are you just playing the stupid card to be released?" he'd say

though as soon as you burst and yell at him about a situation he's not familiar with, he's starting to understand a bit more

you're not from here, not anywhere in Teyvat at least, and by the way you're talking to him as if you know him, he assumed correctly that you're from an alternate reality, where he's also present

though despite his correct assumption, he demands answers and you cannot be allowed any kind of freedom until he gets them

you tell him your story and how in your world, a version of himself exists and that you were briefly married, though split because he was too much of a control/power freak for you and your daughter

he disagrees with the last part about him being a control/power freak ofc but

he decides he'll keep you around, against your wishes

one, because you can become useful if your resurrection abilities are awoken; you'd be able to save many fallen Fatui soldiers, with more training so you don't run out of energy ofc

and two, he doesn't think his other self would miss you very much if you're both on bad terms, he sure would miss such a pretty face if you were to leave though, that's for sure...

so, he's going to keep you around, so he can help train/get used to your electro vision. it works best that way since he has the same vision and can train you more efficiently (I think Scara has electro powers, just an assumption!)

he will also hopefully be able to awaken your resurrection abilities and if you can't, well then sorry you're disposable

overtime, all the Harbingers tease him about his little crush and he either denies it or strongly provokes it cause his ego is through his fucking hat

exhibit a. literally doesn't care that he's caught by childe staring at you train and will say something like, "and? you're just jealous she's not interested in you like she is me."

exhibit b. will throw a fit if someone accuses him and says he has, "no room for crushes or love." even if he was somewhat capable of it in your world...

3.22.21, rayofsunas

[strangestcase]

The ghoulfriend books are a trip. On one hand autistic Rochelle who is smart, awkward, stims and doesn't get figures of speech. Toralei stims too btw. Robbeca's angst about her father is explored well. Jackson being terrified over having to choose his monster or human scaretage in the first book as the normie and monster relations break down again. Every character given their own little quirk. Toralei attempting to start mccarthyism. The city has it's own monster scariff so Ghoul's Rule probably didn't happen along friday night frights

On the other hand the roma vampires with Gadjo names are minor villains for gossiping and sleeping under other people's beds. The racist and ableist stereotypes embodied by the trolls who are for example so dumb they are lured out of striking by promises of food. Skelita and Jinafire are the lackeys of the series villain and I still don't know if that's racism or commentary on how being a stranger in a strange land makes you easier to manipulate. Also Wydowna is the villain in book 3. Toralei's scheme is played for laughs and not the horror it deserves.

I do recommend them but boy did I cringe a lot

I feel they’re in the spirit of Monster High: half very touching social commentary, half very poorly thought out. I haven’t read them myself (I thought they were too kiddy for me when they came out) but I might get invested someday.

[sgtjbbhasmyheart]

Drunk Texting Is(n’t) Bad for Your Health- Chapter Two

Series Summary: Talk about your unconventional meet-cute! Bucky receives a text by mistake requesting he prove he's not Reader's sister. The easy dialogue between Reader and Bucky sparks a natural friendship, but could it lead to more? Bucky still deems himself unworthy of any form of affection or love. Reader is hellbent to prove him wrong. With the help of some (meddling) friends along the way, Bucky may get his happily-ever-after after all.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 2921

Warnings: bad language words, blink and you’ll miss the angst, just some fluff

A/N: divider credit- @firefly-graphics

DO NOT copy or replicate without my permission

You awoke with a start, feeling as if you were late for work or something important and forgot to set your alarm. Your heart beat an erratic tattoo against your ribcage. Scrambling for your cell phone, you blindly reached across the side table near your bed in a panic. Unplugging the phone, you brought the device an ungodly closeness to your face. It was only 6:17. On Saturday.

Your pulse throbbed behind your eyeballs, and a strange stickiness coated the inside of your mouth. Did you drink that much last night?

How could you not? Timmons was a fair boss, and you enjoyed your job, but that dude loved the sound of his own voice.

The quarterly business dinners were mandatory for all employees, even for the P.A.s. Typically, they weren’t so bad, but last night, Timmons felt the need to toot his own horn for landing a massive contract with Stark Industries slash The Avengers. He went on and on about how great it was for the firm.

He was like a giant kid in a candy store with his ramblings. ‘We will be promoting the face of The Avengers and everything that goes with it,’ he spouted off like the firm was god’s gift to public relations.

You groaned at the reminder of last night’s presentation. The contract wasn’t even in effect yet, and you were sick of the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. Timmons could be a real buzz kill.

Rolling to your back, you brought your phone up to tap the screen to read the emails you received overnight. On display was a text from 11:04 by someone named James. It read: “Goodnight, (Y/N).”

Your mind went back to last night again, trying to recall who this James was. He must be significant if you plugged his contact information into your phone already. Had you met someone last night?

Drawing a blank, you clicked on the text bubble to pull up the thread. Briefly scanning through the numerous texts, everything came rushing back. In an attempt to text your sister, Robyn, you mistakenly texted this mysterious, James.

You felt like an utter buffoon when you learned he wasn’t Robyn. You always did have a way with the cute boys. Probably why you were single. You groaned out loud as you read on.

You im safely inside my apartment. Pretty sure no one followed me home

James Did you triple check the lock on the front door?

You yes dad yeesh

James There are a lot of bad people out there. Just want to make sure you’re safe.

You sounds like you watch the news too much but its sweet of u to care

James I know from experience.

You r u the bad guy or have u been the one mugged?

James Let’s just say I have friends that have dealt with the bad things of the world.

You right i almost forgot ur a military-trained assassin athlete mchottie

James Did you ever send your sister a text?

You shit thanks for reminding me i have such a crazy story to tell her

James Only good things, I hope.

You oh yeah all the good things an enigmatic yet handsome stranger cares more about my safety than any of my ex-boyfriends ever did.

James My ma raised me right.

You id say

James_ I hate to cut this short, but I think you need your rest. Especially if you’re meeting your sister tomorrow._

You i dont want to agree but ur probably right

You whats ur name btw?

James My name? Why? Do you plan to continue texting me after tonight?

You duh ur fun to talk to

James Oh.

You or not its cool if u dont want to

James It’s James.

You nice to meet u james im (y/n)

James Nice to meet you as well.

You my sister just texted me back and were still meeting at 9 i should go 

You goodnite james

James Goodnight, (Y/N).

Oh. My. God. Had you seriously drunk-flirted with a stranger and offered to keep texting him? You had no shame with a few drinks in you.

You brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of your nose and sighed loudly.

What did you know of this James? He had a New York area phone number. Check. He could have been a real dick about your mistake but wasn’t. Understanding. Check. He worried about you getting home safely in your inebriated state. Caring. Check. Not too forthcoming with the nine to five. Secretive. Check. His mouth looked so soft and plush, and his eyes were made to drown in. Gorgeous. Check.

A heat simmered beneath your skin as you recounted the shortlist you’d made. Were you lusting over someone you’d exchanged less than forty texts with? Had you somehow woken back up in high school?

Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you stared at the screen displaying the message thread. Were you really considering this? You nodded your head to answer your own question. Where was the harm in a little shameless flirting? If worse came to worst, you could always block him.

With your mind made up, you began typing into your phone, constructing an apology.

You Good morning! First off, I want to apologize for the way I behaved over text last night.

You Though, I do like to imbibe in the occasional drink or two, I am, by no means, a lush.

You Please take everything I said with a grain of salt. Apparently, I get loose-lipped and cheeky with free wine. 😐

You Again, I’m sorry and understand if you wanted to cease our correspondence for my behavior.

You blew out a breath and tossed your phone aside. It was up to fate now and a stranger named James.

You laid in your bed for several minutes staring at the ceiling, contemplating between whether to send a ‘haha just kidding’ text and what the weather would be like, so you could forego shaving your legs in the shower today.

Your phone chimed during the pondering of hair removal, indicating a new text. You knew it was James proclaiming you a freak and to forget his number, but secretly, you hoped it was Robyn canceling today.

Seizing the phone from your mattress top, your heart’s beat increased with each second you went without looking at the screen. Finding the courage, you flipped the device over to read the message.

James Quite the formal apology, Ms. Professor.

You smiled at the text. It didn’t tell you to pound sand or eat shit. No, it was teasing and in jest. You sighed in relief.

You Cease our correspondence too much?

James No, no it was perfect if this was 1863, and you were breaking up with me via telegraph.

You Stop!

James Exactly! ‘Never speak to me again!’ Stop. ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ Stop.

A belly laugh disrupted the tranquil air of your bedroom. You quickly thumbed out a reply once you caught your breath.

You You’re incorrigible.

James I’m glad to see you are using proper capitalization and punctuation this morning.

You Ha!

You When you are buzzed and/or tipsy, capitals and periods be damned. Like you’re so perfect when you’re drunk.

James We all have our flaws.

Was he implying he was a sloppy texter when drunk, too? You shrugged it off as him being cryptic again.

You What are you doing up so early on a Saturday? I didn’t wake you, did I?

You were suddenly stricken with guilt. You should have waited for a more reasonable hour to send out rapid-fire apology texts. Not at 6:36 in the morning. You didn’t want last night’s behavior hanging over you, though. Better to clear the air now than later. You could always ask for forgiveness again if you had disturbed his sleep.

James I had just gotten back from my run when I saw your texts. I have training this morning.

You Oh, right. For your hush-hush, super top secret mission/quidditch game.

You You ever gonna tell me what you really do?

James_ Maybe. Someday._

How far away was someday? Was he planning to text you until you both died or until he got bored? How did texting relationships even work?

You Or is it one of those situations where if you told me you’d have to kill me?

James 😈

You There you go again--being all mysterious.

James Keep ‘em guessing and coming back for more.

You Has that strategy worked well for you in the past?

James Got you to text me again this morning, didn’t it?

You scoffed at what he had suggested. He was correct, but your stubborn streak would deny everything.

You The only reason I texted you this morning was to apologize for acting like a drunken fool last night.

And to squash the curiosity burning in your veins. But he didn’t need to know that.

James Oh.

The reply caused you to furrow your brow and your stomach to drop. You regretted not adding more levity to your last text. Of course, it wasn’t the only reason you were drawn to him.

You I appreciate that the selfie you sent wasn’t a dick pic. And you genuinely seemed to care about me getting home safely. Thank you.

You And maybe- a teeny, tiny bit- is honestly interested in getting to know you better.

You waited on pins and needles for his text, watching the pulsing ellipsis on your screen. Was he just humoring you?

James Hook. Line. Sinker.

Reading his response generated a flush from your jaw to your hairline. You growled in embarrassment. You fell for the oldest trick in the book. He baited you for a compassionate answer, and you delivered beautifully. Hook, line, and sinker, indeed.

You You’re an ass. I take everything back.

James Don’t be mad. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go, but you played into my trap wonderfully.

James If it makes you feel any better, all kidding aside, I want to get to know you better too.

James I fell asleep with a smile on my face last night and woke up with one this morning.

James Because of you, (Y/N).

A flutter broke apart in your chest. You hadn’t time-traveled back to high school; no, this was junior high territory.

You You’re lucky you’re so damn charming, James.

James Doll, you have no idea.

The subway ride into Manhattan usually gave you the chance to get a little reading in since it took nearly fifty minutes from Queens. Not today, though. You spent the entirety of the train ride texting back and forth with James. It was mundane stuff, but you were getting a grasp of who James was as a person.

You Favorite color?

James Black. You?

You Blue.

You Favorite ice cream flavor?

James Chocolate. Yours?

You Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia.

James I didn’t realize we were getting specific.

You We weren’t, but that’s my favorite.

You Favorite movie?

James I like the classics- The Wizard of Oz, It’s A Wonderful Life, Frankenstein.

You I have too many to list, so don’t ask.

You Okay. Lightning round because I’m almost to my stop.

James Where are you going again?

You paused your reply for a brief second, wondering if you should divulge your destination. You’d known James less than twenty-four hours; although, it felt like weeks after this morning. Where was the harm in telling him where you were meeting your sister? There were nearly nine million people in this city. There was no way you’d ever bump into each other.

You A bakery in the Upper East Side called Two Little Red Hens. Ever been?

James Don’t think I have.

You Well, since you like chocolate, they have a fantastic cake called Brooklyn Blackout. Super rich but delicious.

James Sounds right up my alley.

You Cats or dogs?

James I’m gone too much, so cats.

The answer piqued your interest. Maybe he was an athlete. Wouldn’t it be practice and not training, though? Or he’s FBI or CIA.

You Socks on or off for sleeping?

James Off.

You Silver or gold?

James Silver.

You Morning, noon, or night?

James Night.

You How do you take your coffee?

James Room for sugar and creamer.

You Boxers or briefs?

James Boxer briefs.

You laughed out loud, looking around the subway car to see if anyone was paying attention to you. Per usual, they weren’t.

You Touché.

As soon as the train stopped, you gathered your purse close to your body and made for the exit. You followed the crowd of fellow passengers through the turnstile and ascended the stairs onto street level.

The morning sunlight caressed your skin like a warm blanket. The humidity wasn’t too bad, yet, but the threat of afternoon thunderstorms still hung in the air.

Even with the reasonably early hour, the sidewalk was stuffed with people, carrying to-go coffee cups or shopping bags. You fought for your little spot of real estate on the grimy concrete.

Stopping at a red traffic light, waiting to cross, you typed out another question for James.

You Pineapple on pizza--yay or nay?

The light changed as you finished, and the throng of pedestrians around you guided you across the street. You spotted Robyn outside the bakery as your phone dinged with a new text alert.

“Wow, I’m surprised you made it on time,” Robyn said as you hugged hello.

You looked at the clock on your phone. 8:58. “You and me both, sister.” Glancing back at your phone’s screen, you giggled.

James What kind of monster puts pineapple on their pizza??

“What’s so funny?” Robyn asked as you accompanied her through the bakery’s door.

With a grin on your face, you punched out a quick reply:

You Well, it was nice knowing you, James. It was a swell friendship while it lasted--a whole 11 ½ hours.

Robyn elbowed you softly in the ribs with a look on her face, seeking an explanation.

“Ow,” you grunted. “What?”

“You tell me. I half expected a zombie to walk through the doors today after your text last night. Not Suzie Sunshine.”

You both edged closer to the counter as the line in front of you dwindled.

James Say it ain’t so, doll! Pineapple on pizza? Really??

You let out a low chortle as you skimmed the text. You glimpsed up at Robyn as you shuffled forward in line again. “Believe me, I’m pretty hungover,” you replied, shoving your phone in your back pocket. “It’s a funny story. I’ll tell you everything when we sit.”

Robyn stared at you warily, still trying to figure out what had come over you. “Okay,” she conceded, stepping to the register to order.

With each of you supplied with an iced coffee and a peach ginger scone, you found an empty table by a window along 2nd Avenue and proceeded to tell Robyn about James.

When you stopped to catch your breath, remembering the whirlwind the last twelve hours had been, you peered at your sister for her reaction.

She stared at you like you’d grown a second head. She shook her head in disbelief. “(Y/N), what where you thinking?”

Your brow pinched in confusion. Was she actually scolding you? You crossed your arms over your chest. “I was thinking about how my big sister is always telling me to meet new people and how it’s time I thought about settling down.”

“Not like this it’s not,” she hissed. “This is how your body parts end up in someone’s freezer!”

You choked on the piece of scone you shoved in your mouth before she started ridiculing you. After coughing to clear your airway and taking a sip of your iced coffee, you leered at Robyn. “Oh, my god! Dramatic much? Have you been binge-watching Dateline again? Jesus Christ, Robyn, he’s harmless,” you countered.

“You think you’ll be so careful, but you’ll let one little detail slip, and he’ll find you,” Robyn said before taking a pull from her coffee.

“You mean, like, how I was meeting you at Two Little Red Hens at nine o’clock?”

Robyn’s mouth popped open in an O. “What the hell, (Y/N)?” she stage-whispered. “Are you trying to get yourself kidnapped and sold into sex trafficking?”

“Please,” you drew out in one long syllable. “He doesn’t know what I look like. How would he snatch me?”

“He could look you up on Facebook.”

“Without a last name?” You shook your head, no.

“What about a reverse search on your number?” Robyn asked, pushing the plate holding her scone away. “That’s a thing.”

“Perhaps, but it seems like a lot of effort for a mistake I made. It wasn’t like he was seeking me or anyone else out.”

Robyn huffed out a breath and folded her arms in exasperation. Always the protective big sister. You could tell you were breaking her down, though.

“C’ mon, Robbie. It’s all in innocent fun. I’m not saying I’m hoping he’ll turn out to be Mr. Right, but the banter is fun,” you remarked. “James is charming and witty and nice to talk to.”

Robyn shook her head once more, frowning. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

You reached across the table for her hand and squeezed gently. “Me too.” You smiled slyly, remembering last night’s dinner and Timmons gushing about The Avengers. “If not, I know how to get ahold of a couple of centenarians who know chivalry isn’t dead.”

Chapter One | Chapter Three

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[introvert--weeb]

I love your works, please notice me! Can i ask for match up? Im 18 years, 152 cm (i'm short af) introvert but full of sass, often mistook as a shy girl but i just don't really talk to much at strangers who don't interest me but talkative when i'm comfortable at my friends, blunt and brutally honest, have a dark humor, doesn't give shit about other opinions about me but i listen just not care (bruh, i like the way i am) i'm a filipina (proud to be) quiet but have a lot of troublesome shit (lmao) big tease

What else?ummm... No i'm not girly, oh i studied taekwondo red belter, my fashion style is often boyish, terrible at cooking but good at baking, have good relationship with siblings and we often play a prank war among us, i like reading, can draw but average, can't dance to save life but pretty flexible since i do split and balance because of taekwondo, i wore glasses because i have a bad eye sight reading a lot of stuff, but wore contact lenses when i have to practice, loves sleeping, SIMP at cute things, lives to tease and bully cute being (they just so cute with tears) school grades are above average i guess? Chill as long as you don't mess with my stuff and people i care ( once i almost bash someone head by round housing them for harrassing my bestfriend and almost got report of assault if it's not for my bestfriend showing the evidence of getting harrassed) you can say independent when it comes to works or study, can cooperate but rather do an individual works, and my most highlight and proud to say once you become my friends were friends for a lifetime

Tokyo Revengers seems to be so popular in this match up event 😂 probably a good thing I caught up on the manga, huh 😅 and don't worry, you have been noticed 😁❤️

And btw, you sound so cool ❤️

I match you up with...

Izana Kurokawa ❤️

You had met this beautiful boy when you were simply wandering the streets of Shibuya. You had wanted to go and find some more books for your growing collection but this had ended up being a bust.

Izana was doing the same, simply wandering the streets because his life had become a little boring. Sure, he had Tenjiku but those guys could only entertain him for so long until they start irritati.g the platinum blond. Maybe he was searching for something entertaining and it looked like he might have found it when his sights landed on you.

What had caught his eye was that you were being harassed by three boys that were a lot taller than you. Was he concerned for you? No, he didn't even know who you were. It was just something that caught his attention and he was bored enough to give it his time. Izana wasn't expecting anything interesting really, as soon as he had his fill he would move on with his day until the next interesting thing came along. After all, that's how he lived his life.

Watching the scene, he couldn't believe his eyes when you had snapped. Within seconds, you had roundhouse kicked the boys and knocked them to the ground as if they were nothing but sticks in your path. Now that had made him interested in you and he wouldn't deny that it was attractive. After all, this boy would want a strong girl by his side.

Izana rushed over to talk to you about what he had witnessed, to express how much it impressed him. To say you were a little wary of the boy was a slight understatement. After all, you had literally just knocked three to the ground because they had chosen to try their luck with you. However, with how attractive Izana was, you felt less inclined to lash out at him.

Conversing about how bored you both were as well as interests you both had, Izana was impressed when he heard you knew taekwando. A girl who could defend herself was a girl this boy needed. Once he realised how much he liked the sound of you, he asked for your number, which you gave him without a lot of hesitation.

You would hang out a lot but never had an official first date with this cutie. He would just ask you to be his girlfriend randomly, not long after he came to terms with his feelings for you. Poor Izana definitely needed help to realise that he liked you in that way. He had asked Kakucho and the other 4 Heavenly Kings for advice on what he should do to get rid of this strange fluttering feeling in his chest. Asking you out was the only solution given.

When it came to you, Izana was in love. From your brutal honesty and 'don't give a shit' attitude to your dark humour. Anything this boy learns about you, the more he falls for you.

Dates with Izana are mainly bike rides. He isn't that romantic at heart so don't expect him to suddenly care about cute dates. He believes that as long as the two of you are together, that constitutes a date. However, invite him over to your house to hang out and he would be there within minutes. Izana just likes relaxing with you no matter what you do.

Discovering that you like cute things, it might motivate the boy to buy you some cute things every now and then. He's not a big gift giver but he wants you to know that he was thinking of you while out and about. These are mainly snacks with cute packaging or small plushies that may have caught his eye. Nothing extravagant.

This relationship is the first one Izana has ever been in and everyone can tell. He doesn't know the first thing about romance so please be patient with him. Point him in the right direction and he will give it 100% of his effort. Just also understand that Tenjiku comes first with this boy. After all, a kingdom is everything to its king.

--

Requests for the match ups are closed.

[itonje]

hey sexy stranger who is not me would you like to talk about therese

hello sexy stranger who is not me i WOULD like to talk about therese aka theresa but i changed her name a little bit cause it didnt sound like. idk french enough

anyways therese florien is louis florien (oc)'s younger sister and also the last monarch of the northern empire (actually when she became queen she was the last monarch of just the north because the south and the west had broken off by that point but we'll get to that).

in the main story, 20-30 years after all these events ill be telling later take place, samira and the rest of the continent know her as 'The Coward Queen/Tea-time Queen' because she only ruled for a couple days and immediately forsook the throne when the southern and ko'bi army approached the capital. currently, she resides in the florien ancestral home (summerhead) on the northern continent, and she's converted the castle into both a prayer place and a place where travelers and vagabonds and so on can stay for safety. and she's basically become like a priestess . long long long backstory under the cut

anyways . the first we know of her is that she's louis' younger sister, she's very religious, she's very timid, and she's very close to her father gareth...there are reasons for the last two that have to do with her late mother lorete. so like. louis is a sorcerer which lorete discovered when he was just a child (northern sorcerers are believed to be willingly practicing dark magic against their religion or whatever) and the florien family is already in some deep shit with the royal family (tldr floriens used to be the royal family, were deposed and murdered and so on and also gareth pissed off his cousin back when they were in their twenties or whatever, this will all be relevant later) and so lorete knew that her son would be taken away/the family wld be punished or whatever adn devoted all her attention towards her son and towards concealing his magic from everyone, including his father.

and when she gives birth to therese, her attention is still all lazer focused on louis, and gareth, who doesn't know why she's ignoring her in the first place basically raises his daughter alone up until lorete dies of an outbreak of plague or whatever when therese is four and then he's raising the eight year old louis AND therese alone. therese's timidity comes from both the paranoia her mother exuded when she was little, lorete's death, the fact that when she was young she saw a jousting accident involving her father in which a man died. her piousness comes from the fact that the only thing she really did when she was younger was pray and read while her father was out doing knightly duties (cough cough colonizing) and it provided an outlet for her to vent her emotions ab her upbringing

also, there's a conspiracy the floriens were involved in with a couple other families set up by gareth's grandmother to restore the florien family on the throne (re: louis would become king when the time came) so like even then everyone always gave her brother attention over her because they were convinced he would be king and she was just the second child they didn't care about. in this world like women are as eligible to inherit and own land just as much as men btw louis was just the eldest

anyways because of her very like. kind of stuck up religious nature, her fear, and because the floriens are already kind of pariahs her first friends are just louis' friends, charicle elaphin (the elaphins are a family close 2 the floriens) and the strange iloro girl whos in training to be a knight (kidlat, but her 'northern name' is claire), but they get along very well, making a little sort of friend group.

as the years get on, therese really keeps herself busy just by taking care of her, who's very infirm, and reading more theological stuff (like by her hero, her ancestor aveline florien who was a priestess and religious reformer) and even writing a bit of her own stuff. to the outside world though, her interiority is looked down upon and royal family supporters (ie, against the floriens) even spread rumors about her, like that she's a secret sorcerer or something (the florien family has always had accusations of sorcery flung against them, little do they know there is a witch in her family but it's her brother who's actually the sorcerer)

we mostly either see her thru the perspective of kidlat, who likes her but feels a bit alienated to her like how kidlat feels alienated by everything northern, or louis who is like. apathetic towards her like he feels some affection for her because they're siblings of course but he's not really close to her and he thinks her piousness is self righteous and finds her deep fear and timidity unpleasant to deal with...tho, his greatest resentment towards her comes from the fact that he's always felt his father has preferred her over him (he does btw. like louis isn't wrong lol)

anyways the royal family sets up a wedding for her because louis refuses to be married, and claims this is out of love for their cousins, but this is just really a ploy to royally piss off gareth by taking his other child away from his household (something they already did to louis), and therese is um. well she's very angry and upset about this, which louis (and no one else, except for her father ofc) doesn't realize until the day of her wedding when he's getting her ready. she doesn't want to leave her father and summerhead, she wants to devote her life to the Goddess instead of some random husband, and she, like the rest of the floriens incl louis feels very humiliated and cheated by the way she's being treated when she has the right to the throne, when she and co should be in charge....this surprises louis because. he didnt know other people had feelings. also at some point therese wants to ask charicle to marry her instead because he's very religious as well and he's gay so neither of them would have pressure to feel love for the other, but louis tells her to not do that by saying oh well he's half western you're a florien almost-princess which convinces her to not do that

anyways she does get married to this guy, and has a kid (eventually), but continues to constantly visit her own family and gareth dies of like. natural causes or whatever (also stress because of louis being a cunt asshole or whatever and therese leaving him and colonizer guilt and a bad leg infection and honestly the man had a lot going on tbh) which really really bums her out, louis also yells at her because again, poorly hidden resentment over his father's preferential treatment of her which makes her even more upset

also later on when the king is dying she tries to pray for him at his bedside but the queen, who again, does not like the floriens, gets mad, calls her a witch and devil or whatever whos killing him, tries to beat her etc, and finally therese has had it she's HAD it and her big joker breaking point moment is. throwing a shoe at the queen and calling her a 'very godless lady'

anyways later later after aeetes (yeah remember him) kills prince edouard, who was about to be crowned king, and the west, galvanized by the south breaking off and the death of the Sort of King, breaks off as well and starts waging war against the northern forces, the remaining northern lords are like. well shit. whos going to be in charge. maybe the floriens again? but..... louis has already ran off chasing after the deserter kidlat (and unbeknownst to everyone, has died in a tragic mysterious Axe Murder Accident) so the crown goes to...you guessed it....therese! anyways she's crowned, only of the north, which is the only nation the crown has juristiction over at this point, but when the southern and ko'bi forces annihilate the remainder of the loyal northern knights (many northern families have tried to start their own factions to try to reconquer the continent, even fighting each other..this is not working) and move up to take the throne a couple days afterward, her deep fear that she's always carried with her leads to her immediately forfeiting the crown and running away....

i wrote a little something from her perspective on her coronation, basically she believes that the goddess has put this in her hands for a reason, she believes and knows she's truly the heir to the great florien kings and queens, she's apathetic towards the (supposed) death of her brother because um. the way he treated her for all of her life, though she does feel a great emptiness now that he's gone, she wishes her mother and father were there to see her, but there's always that. undercurrent of anxiety and uncertainty she's always had. so you can kind of see what she eventually does coming from a mile away

[ridasverkisto]

who are your top ten black clover characters and ships (romantic, platonic)? talk about them!

Oooooooh. This is gonna be a long one so buckle in. I’m also splitting the answer into two—so this is top ten ships, and I’ll do top ten characters in a separate post, because this is long. 😅

Before I get going, I’m just going to say this is in no particular order—I’m listing them in the order they come to mind, as I love all of these pairings for different reasons so it’s hard for me to rank them. I’ll also preface that for most of my pairings it usually doesn’t matter much to me whether it’s romantic or platonic, so long as they’re not. Y’know. Actual siblings/family/etc. Also for the purposes of this ask, I’m leaving out stuff like...the Black Bulls as a platonic ship tag. They’re found family, it’s sort of a given, so this isn’t going to focus on that. And before anyone asks, yes, I have crackships. I am not apologizing.

[If this needs a page break to keep from clogging tags lmk, btw]

1. Magna/Luck (and/or Magna & Luck, it’s the same to me)

What can I say? I’m a sucker for two dumbass best friends who share a brain cell living their best lives. Their dynamic is fun and interesting—Luck literally views Magna as fun and interesting and he loves bothering him because of how he reacts, while Magna started out hating it but grew incredibly fond of Luck’s antics.

They’re dumbasses, but they’re loveable dumbasses who bring out both the best and worst in each other, and I just love the way they interact. It’s great and I love them both so much 💕

2. Finral & Langris

Okay okay so. I know there’s baggage here, because Langris is an entitled little asshole trashbaby, but hear me out. Finral gets to be an older brother, exasperated with Langris and trying super hard to be a good sibling, while Langris is still a trashbaby but a softer one. Like.

They are Peak Sibling Energy, because I can see Langris insulting Finral because “polite interaction with my loser brother, how tf?” But the moment someone else tries to insult Finral, Langris gets annoyed. It’s the younger sibling Rights, only the sibling gets to insult the other siblings and if you try to get in on that fuck you. Meanwhile, Finral learns to be the responsible older sibling to Langris, and steps into being more responsible in other parts of his life while repairing his relationship with Langris.

Not going to lie, a lot of my love for this ship is because I’m probably projecting my own relationship with my own brother onto them to some extent, and my love for proper Sibling Energy has no bounds because that shit’s hilarious when done right.

Let Finral and Langris develop the weird half-unspoken language of siblings, let them reference embarrassing things and blackmail each other over stupid shit like “who’s going to go refill the teapot” or something!! Let them be petty and loving and protective as they learn to be siblings again, because growth!!!!

3. Julius & Yami & William

Why yes, I am a polyshipper. But mostly what I really like about this one is the history and the dynamics between the three of them.

On the one hand you have Julius, who’s hugely respected by the other two, basically mentored/parented them both, and loves them both a hell of a lot. (You can’t look at the way Julius looks at Yami and William and tell me that’s not love, fuck you)

On another, you have Yami; he’s the outcast, loner, stranger in a strange land who was given a support system and place to belong by Julius. He also struggles to understand the less forthright William, and is fiercely loyal. Like. This man loves and respects Julius so fucking much, and it’s shown through such small gestures, it’s amazing.

And finally, there’s William—who couldn’t chose between Julius and Patry, yeah. Who’s a coward and a troll and hides behind his words and masks, but has made the choice to atone for his mistakes. He feels a lot, and is so clearly trying to be better it hurts.

The way the three of them interact has a lot of history and intricacy behind it, and even with current events in the series, I really really love their relationship with each other. This isn’t a ship I love for fluff, but for the tension and aching weight of history and growing up that lies heavy on it. It’s got this lovely sort of pain to it that feels like nostalgia in the summer heat, knowing nothing is ever going to be like it was once and still deciding to hold onto what you have with both hands.

I never said I ship for fluff and romance—I’m here for dynamics, and these three have amazing dynamics. (I will note for this one that it’s one that I can’t see as romantic at all. Not the least bc Julius was literally in his twenties when Yami and William were like 15, bc ~fuck that shit~)

4. William/Dorothy/Rhya

Is this a crackship? Yes!

Have these characters barely if ever interacted on screen? Yes!

Am I probably the only person who thought of this ship and wants to see content for it? Yes!

Do I give a fuck? No!

Not gonna lie, I know this is a crackship of massive proportions. But I’m here for the dynamics and the dynamics here have the potential to just be so damn cathartic, okay?

If I go on a deep tangent about this ship it’ll end up being an entire essay, so that can wait for another day, so I’ll just...give you this: these three have a lot to give each other to challenge and help each other grow. There’s a lot of potential, and tension, and catharsis here. The contrasts and dynamics between the three of them would be interesting and immensely entertaining.

I’ll also shamelessly admit that a good portion of this is also fueled by my personal head canons of William being a trans guy, Dorothy being feminine presenting nb, and Rhya just straight up being pan and attracted to strong people. What can I say? I know what I like lmao 😂

5. Yuno & Asta

I’m a sucker for good friendly rivalries. Especially ones full of so much mutual respect!!! Like, they both respect each other and care so fucking much is amazing ❤️

And don’t get me wrong, I get the people that ship them romantically and I’ll read it; but I see their relationship as more sibling rivalry/platonic than anything else.

You can’t look at Yuno being a Dramatic Bitch to get on Asta’s nerves and tell me that’s not Peak Sibling Energy, because I tell you I have done the exact same to my own brother. Let them be dorks and friends and brothers, bc it WORKS.

6. Rill/Charmy/Langris

Yes, yes this is another crackship. No, I do not care! And yes, i am aware it will very likely never be canon.

I just really like the image of Langris being reluctantly folded into the dynamic of two cinnamon rolls who could probably flatten him if they really wanted to. And Langris slowly coming to the realization that he actually really likes them and cares for them, even if he is a bit tsun-tsun about expressing it sometimes.

Plus, y’know, Rill and Charmy won’t indulge his asshole-ier behaviors, and if he pisses Charmy off he’s very likely to get his ass kicked.

I can’t really explain it more than that other than I just really really like the dynamics with this trio and I hold it very close to my heart 💕

7. Finral & Vanessa

Let them be friends!!! Let them be platonic best friends!!!! I love their dynamic, esp if you expand on it and take a look at how Finral and Vanessa can play off of each other. BEST FRIENDS.

8. David & Letoile

I know everyone likes to think of them as the chaotic one and the no-nonsense one, but consider: Letoile getting wrapped up in David’s shenanigans bc they’re just as ride or die as Magna and Luck are. Everyone thinks of her as the other holder of the Golden Dawn’s self restraint, and she sort of is, but her standards of what should be restrained is very different from Klaus’s.

9. Julius & Marx (can also be Julius/Marx, but only prior to the whole deaging thing)

Wholesome ship! It’s already obvious that they care about each other a lot in canon, so let that be expanded upon and developed more. It also adds the fun bit that the issues with Julius running away from his paperwork become even more comical with the added context. It starts to feel less like a subordinate yelling at their commandeer and more like an old married couple or something 😂

10. Leopold & Asta & Yuno & Noelle

Three competitive dumbasses and the exasperated one who makes it worse. I love them all and I think they make the best fucking quad friend group;; let them be friends, please. Please. Just the shenanigans they would get into makes me cackle with glee.

[prairiedust]

The Folklore of Supernatural

Part two of a series I started with this post.

I’m reposting this as the second installment of my midseason hiatus “The Folklore of Supernatural” series, even though it was originally written as kind of a long cracky way of looking at the “sleeping beauty trilogy” of episodes in season 14 (The Scar, Mint Condition, and Nightmare Logic.) The original question I was tagged into was “Is Dean actually dreaming?” and I can not find the original post about this, so I won’t tag anyone in particular (you know who you are and I love you because this was fun to write.) I posted it once in the dead of night with no tags, but I’m republishing it as part of my larger take on folklore as a theme in season 14 of Supernatural. Bear in mind that this was written before Optimism, when it became clear that these were not part of an extended dream-sequence, BUT ALSO before The Spear when it was revealed that Michael could repossess Dean. (I’m going to talk a little bit about timing and writing meta, further on.)

I want to say a couple of things before the cut, too. This is a big old Sleeping Beauty post. I know there’s a lot of SB ideas out there in the metasphere but I’ve deliberately avoided them because I wanted to get my thoughts out here and I am Very Slow. Feel free to tag me into other posts, send me asks, whatever, because I think it’s fun to talk about. However, just because this is a “sleeping beauty” meta does not mean I want to go all the way to the end of that metaphor in this series. This particular post is general audience meta. I can’t tell anyone who might read this that no, you aren’t allowed to see a DeanCas parallel in a meta which relies heavily on a romantic fairy tale and one that was a destiel fandom in-joke after Cas died, at that. I will say, though, that I see it, so if you want to duck out now because I’m a lowkey shipper feel free. Also, I can’t endorse predictions based on meta, either, even my own, even when I think there is a big neon “Texan Star” sign saying “destiel goes here;” there is absolutely nothing stopping anyone involved in the show from making a hard left when the signs said we were going right. So rather than seeing this as a defense of DeanCas subtext, let’s call it an experiment in close reading. If nothing else, it will be fun. (Bear in mind that I am a massive dork so my definition of fun involves Charles Dickens.)

Aaand... here we go.

Is Dean asleep, and have the last three episodes (The Scar, Mint Condition, and Nightmare Logic) been a dream? How can we possibly “answer” that question at this point in the show?

We’re trying to speculate about a text that is a constantly moving target. If, for instance, you start to read the novel Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston, and you know from a blurb on the back of the book that she was an anthropologist who collected African-American and Caribbean folklore, and you get to the place where the protagonist Janie’s second [redacted] ends, but there are a lot of pages left ahead of you, and you think, wow if this happens a third time, I have a theory that the third [redacted, go read this book] would be special based on what I know about folklore and the “rule of three,” well by the end of the book you will know whether or not you were right. Janie either finds a third [redacted], or she doesn’t, and it’s either special, or it’s not.

Supernatural has not ended, so there is no way of saying “Oh, the main theme we are supposed to take away from this show is ____.” I mean, we can put big money on “family” but still. With a television show, it’s hard to even say, “The over-arching themes in this season are____” until the season finale, because it is a text that is being written, filmed, and published serially. The fluid nature of subtext in serial literature was something I studied under a Brit Lit professor– she said, when we set out to read David Copperfield, that sometimes themes in Dickens concluded early or evolved late, or didn’t pan out, because Dickens changed his mind or was pressured by readers to maintain a character that he hadn’t planned to keep around (I think that character was Micawber but I can not find a shred of evidence anywhere, even in my notes from my Brit Lit class, because she kind of mentioned it in passing and I didn’t like Dickens very much when I was younger, so obviously I didn’t learn it well.) And even when you get to the end of a Dickens serial, you still might not get closure– he totally rewrote the conclusion of Great Expectations because his friends wanted angst with a happy(ish) ending.

But this particular “sleeping” symbolism that has been pointed out is really, really structurally sound and can be very well supported. What it means is (shrug emoji)

Going back to the first post in this series, the support for this reading comes from an understanding of folk tales. I’ll be primarily using European Sleeping Beauty stories, as that is what is most accessible to an American/Western audience. And, it was deliberately alluded to in the text of the show. But first let’s talk about formula tales in more depth because that is what sets this theme up in the very first episode of season 14.

Michael met with three different beings in the season opener Stranger in a Strange Land and asked each of them “What do you want?” This is in no uncertain terms a formula tale found in folklore all over the world, and you know about the rule of three even if you’ve never actually acknowledged it. In Goldilocks and the Three Bears, for instance, Goldilocks tries two bowls of porridge before finding one to her liking. She tries two chairs before settling on Baby Bear’s chair. She tries two beds before falling asleep in the one that was “just right.” There were three challenges, two of which failed and one that satisfied her. Goldilocks is an original work (and please read the Wikipedia article, it is fascinating how many revisions this story has gone through, and in fact “Goldilocks” wasn’t even the original main character) but it was based on a folk formula and has entered American oral tradition. Similarly, in the German folk tale The Three Little Pigs, the first pig’s house is destroyed because it was made of straw, the second house failed because it was made of sticks, but the third house was made of brick and withstood the huffing and puffing of the wolf. So the pattern in the rule of three is often two challenges that fail or are flawed and one that finally succeeds or satisfies the necessary conditions. For short, I’m going to call this grouping 2/1. In the Michael story, 2/1 is human, who fails, then angel, who fails, then monster, who Mikey likes. In addition, there is a primer to the rule of three in that first scene, just to make absolutely certain that the audience notices it-- Michael has Jamel guess his identity three times.

This 2/1 formula could be just something Dabb did because he wanted to do it. It’s ancient, and Michael is an ancient being. But. Can it also mean that “folktales” is a theme on the show now?

As the saying goes, “Once is an occurrence, twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern.” Folklore continues into the season in many different ways.

In Gods and Monsters, the scene where Dean shakes loose and punches the mirror probably lit up everyone who saw it with “mirror mirror on the wall” vibes, from the story of Snow White. The enchanted mirror is such a common “trope” in folklore that it has an index number that folklorists and others use to refer to it in their scholarship– it’s Aarne-Thompson index number D1163. So, another solid subtextual reference to folk tales. There is so much more in that episode about storytelling and retelling and  the concept of sequels, but that’s for another discussion.

We get to The Scar and Jack mentions Sleeping Beauty and no lie I ascended for a full minute. “Sleeping Beauty” is Aarne-Thompson-Uther Classification of Folk Tales number 410 because this is another story that is found freaking everywhere. (I have to make an aside about the use of the term “folk tale” just because it is in my nature not to leave things like this ambiguous– it isn’t completely certain that the Sleeping Beauty we know of Brothers Grimm and Disney fame is 100% for shore an oral tale, or at least isn’t a tale that got a little finessed when it was first written down. See, a guy in pre-Renaissance Naples named Giambattista Basile included a version of it in a collection of child’s tales hundreds of years ago (it’s horrifying btw, cw for non-con at the very least if you go looking for it) then Charles Perrault (of Puss in Boots fame) got hold of it and rewrote it in French, and folklorists are pretty certain that the story of “Briar Rose in the Forest” that the Grimm brothers collected was the Perrault story that had made its way back into oral tradition in Germany. And, like, it’s not a huge reach to say that the history of the Sleeping Beauty story that is explicitly mentioned in the show’s dialogue by Jack is more subtext about how stories are transmitted, how they are told, what happens when they get loose in the wild, etc. That’s how allusions work, and that’s coming up in my third post.)

So, three times means green light to consider “folk tales” an official thing this season, at least for a while. And the cherry on top is that Sleeping Beauty was the third story referenced. It’s neat.

But NOW. On to THE question the OP posed:

Have the last three episodes been Dean’s dream?

I’m going to pass up surface mentions of dream states and solely focus on the actual “sleepers” in these episodes in order to get at the allusion’s architecture.

In Nightmare Logic, the sleeping beauty OP has identified is Sasha’s father, who is locked in a dream-state by a djinn. In Mint Condition, the sleeping beauty is Stuart, who is in a mysterious coma-like sleep after an attack by a possessed chain-saw. In The Scar, Lora is in a sleep-adjacent death-state after being hexed by a witch. (I saw that her name on the iTunes subtitles is “Lora” which is a variation of Laura but spelled this way evokes “of lore” and that was pretty neat. Another tiny detail that bolsters the theme.)

Is Lora really a sleeping beauty, though, and why is that important?

Remember our rule of three pattern that we were given in the premiere– 2/1. Two people in this group will be more similar to each other than to the third. Both Stuart and Sasha’s father are alive, while Lora is technically all the way dead when she is in the sleep-like state. Superficially, Stuart and Sasha’s father are men, whereas Lora is a woman. Just throwing that out there. If I were writing this post for a grade, that right there is called “padding for word count.” But it is also a valid point, so we’re going to use it. Neither Stuart nor Sasha’s father are shown to resume consciousness by the end of their episodes– Stuart not at all, and Mr. Rawlings only stirs fitfully. Lora is revived when Jack breaks the spell. On the other hand, Stuart is never in continued danger in Mint Condition after his “touch and go” operation (he’s presumably safe inside the salt circle) and is expected to recover naturally, whereas both Mr. R and Lora will die/stay dead if the threat against them isn’t neutralized. Mr. Rawlings is similar to Lora because they are both under “medical care”– Mr.R is ostensibly in hospice and Lora is in the Bunker’s sick bay, and to top things off Stuart is the only one who was treated by an actual doctor: Mr. R‘s nurse was a djinn and Cas is not a doctor he just played one on TV.

The thing about close readings is that anything you can argue is probably valid, but one thesis might be better supported than another. I’m really really tired and there might be more differences and similarities that I am missing. But when you’re gathering the evidence to support a theory about a text, you can end up going a bridge too far and you’ll find yourself staring into the void, completely unable to make any progress, so at some point you just have to stake out your foundations and start digging. (Yeah, I mixed metaphors, I mixed three of them, it’s awesome, get off me.)

So. There is more evidence that Stuart and Mr. R are more similar to each other than either one is to Lora. If we apply the 2/1 template, Lora is the character who satisfies the parameter of being “odd man out.” That still might not make her a sleeping beauty for the purposes of answering the “Is this Dean’s dream” question, and here’s why.

(This is the speculation part. I love this stuff, but again I offer the caveat that using subtext to make plot predictions in Supernatural is like trying to write on a cloud with smoke. Anyway.)

If she’s the sleeping beauty, the subtextual message is that Dean might actually be dead (or might have to die to satisfy the condition that Michael is destroyed.) That possibility was brought up in both 14x01 and 14x02, before Dean came back. And eugh no one wants that. It also means that we had to have read these three episodes backwards to find the character that fits the template, because if Lora is a sleeping beauty, and if she is “the” sleeping beauty for subtextual purposes, she actually came first in the series, and you have to run the episodes backwards to get to the 1. That is subverting the trope. However, if you get the thing you want the first time why go on to the other two challenges? There is a lot in this season about calling back to earlier parts of the narrative to contextualize the present– for instance, in Gods and Monsters, Michael says to the werewolf, “You think you were picking me up in that bar?” or something to that effect and then revealed that he was, in fact, the one stalking her. In Mint Condition, we are introduced to the Janitor Victim as a Dean mirror, but we do not know for certain yet that Hatchet Man is a post-Azazel John Winchester mirror, so that scene is given greater meaning by information that is revealed later in the episode. Structurally speaking, it would be fair to say that the information we have now, that Lora the dead girl is “the” sleeping beauty, based on having seen the other two candidates, means a dead Dean reveal has been primed by the subtext. And like, no thank you?

The other possibility is that Lora, since she was dead and not unconscious, is not “the” sleeping beauty. The third “sleeping beauty” (IF there is one) would show up in 14x06 Optimism. (That title is really stressing me out.) Why would that be Dean and not some other random character? Because if we exclude Laura, the pattern resets from 1/2 to 2/1 beginning with Stuart. Stuart is a Castiel mirror, though, which is not quite right. Mr. R is a John mirror (although that episode is a lot murkier and I’ve said before if someone wants to say he’s a Dean mirror because of the djinn connection I’d agree, in which case BLAM we already have a winner.) [editor’s note, I only left Jack out because we already knew he was dying and thought this subtext was priming a twist, more at ten, this aside has been brought to you by the letters LOL.]

But then, where have the last three episodes come from? If he is dreaming, it could be one reason why the djinn couldn’t wring a nightmare out of him, and that the moment before he killed the monster with a bookend was his subconscious trying to signal to him that something is wrong…

I have said a couple of times that subtext isn’t always predictive. Some authors will have multiple subtexts or will use subtext to straight-up fool you (*waves to thriller writers.*) But the exception proves the rule here– we as readers/viewers rely on subtext to prepare us for what might be coming next. Subtext helps provide that slow build to climax that makes, say, Neville Longbottom’s absolutely stunning house cup win in The Sorcerer’s Stone such a stand-up-and-cheer moment, or that makes Harry Potter’s realization that it is his patronus, not his father’s, that saves his past self in the Prisoner of Azkaban so satisfying. Lack of subtext is the reason there is so much grumping over Mary/Bobby. I mean, they what? Had a walk in the woods together? She called him “old man” once, is that even a term of endearment??? [full disclosure I never liked those two together until after Nightmare Logic.]

And scene!

That up there is where I stopped, and now it’s clear that the person who all this was pointing at was Jack, who fell into a dramatic swoon at the end of Optimism. There were two “sleeping beauties” in that episode, too in the 2/1 pattern of the folktales we’ve discussed– the zombie, who is in sort of a dream state, and Charlie, who is knocked out by fly guy. (Again, fully dead is a red herring and doesn’t count. That’s some positive subtext.) That was basically a lot of words to be able to summarize that, yes, sleeping beauty and dreamstates is a thing so far, but where it was going was hard to predict.

There is something really important that can be taken out of this close reading, though, that is carrying throughout the season.

Jack was the character who actually said the words “Sleeping Beauty.” Jack sort of volunteered himself as tribute. Another theme this season that was made explicit by Subtext Primer aka Mint Condition is that the words characters are saying are more important than they ever have been.

AND ONE MORE THING! The above was written before Unhuman Nature and Byzantium and The Spear! Dean has been put back to bed by Michael! But but Castiel stepped into the Sleeping Beauty deal! Where are we going! There’s no earthly way of knowing, which direction we are going…

Anyway in the next installment of this really long meta that will probably never end I want to explore what the history of the Amero-European Sleeping Beauty brings to bear on this season.

[empresskylo]

“Make me jealous” (pt.2)

PART 1 

Pairing: Stephen Stranger x reader Warnings: smut!!! unprotected sex, cold behavior??  Word Count: 2.1k+ Summary: You’re Stephen Strange’s apprentice and you have a feeling he doesn’t like you even though you’re in love with him. When he sees you flirting with Loki he gets increasingly jealous/angry. Notes: thank you for all the kind comments on part 1!! I hope everyone likes part 2! Criticism is welcome (this is the last part btw)

Days had past since you last saw Stephen. He left without notice to Stark Industries to work on saving Asgard at Thor’s request. You puttered around the empty building, studying during the day and sometimes creeping around places that Stephen told you to stay away from at night. You were board and confused. You thought a lot about the kiss, so much so that you weren’t even sure if it actually happened. 

You were sitting in the library once again as you did for the past three days when a bright orange orb expanded in the room. It glistened like a galaxy and made a crackling noise that was quiet, like a small flame. Stephen fell through it landing next to his work bench with a thud. The orange light disappeared and Stephen pulled himself up, his face cut and bleeding. 

“Oh my god, are you okay?” You asked rushing over to him. He pushed you off of him as he straightened himself up. “Yes, I’m fine. I barely got away but Asgard is safe now, no thanks to Stark.” He muttered in an angry tone. You didn’t want to pry so you didn’t ask any questions. He made his way out of the room, you assumed he was going to where he kept his medical supplies and you tried to follow but he shouted at you, “Just stay there! I don’t need this right now!” And stormed off. 

You sat back in your seat and continued reading where you left off, trying to ignore Stephen’s cold attitude towards you. Maybe he just needed time to cool off after the battle he was just in. 

A few hours later and Stephen came striding in and sat at his usual spot behind his desk. Your legs were now stretched out on the chair beside you with your book laying casually in your lap. You peered up at him and saw him writing and flipping open a old brown book. His cut was now cleaned up and not as bright red as before, his clothes clean and hair freshly washed. You looked back at your page trying to ignore the fact that he was sitting in the same room as you and getting to work as if nothing had happened just days before.

As time ticked on, you finally decided you weren’t going to do this anymore. He was too stubborn to come talk to you about it but you weren’t going to just let him ignore you. You were sick of how much power he held over you. You might lose your job over this but you weren’t going to let him toy with your emotions any longer. You pushed yourself up, making your way to the front side of the wooden table he was sat in front of and looked down at him. 

He finished writing his sentence and looked up at you, “What?” He asked with a temper in his tone. 

You took a deep breath, trying to gain the strength to put all your feelings out on the table. He cocked an eyebrow at you, trying to figure out what you were about to do.

“Okay,” you started, “I know I’m you apprentice, and I know you think I’m worthless and never do anything right. And I’m aware you were probably just lonely, I mean you’re always in here alone and you never go out into the real world anymore, so I get why you kissed me. But Stephen, I really liked you. And you can’t just kiss someone and then pretend like it never happened!” You felt tears welling in your eyes, Stephen’s eye contact with you never faulting. You could see the hurt he felt in his face at your words. 

“And to be quiet honest, I didn’t really plan what I was going to say and I know you’re probably going to fire me now but-” He cut you off. “I’m not going to fire you.” He grumbled. He was annoyed that you’d even think so petty of him to fire you for being honest with him.

“Well, thank you, I guess.” You said barely above a whisper. “But if you could not do that again, that’d be great, because I don’t enjoy having my feelings played with. And I’m not just your little toy you can have when you’re lonely like Loki said.”

He pushed himself up out of his chair, the loud noise against the ground startling you. You backed up subconsciously as he approached you, his voice deep, “You really think so little of me to keep you around because I’m so sad and lonely? That I just want you as a play thing?” His voice a mixture of authority and hurt.

You gulped, “Well... No. I mean, maybe-” You bumped into the bookshelf behind you as he kept coming closer. He could tell you were getting flustered.

He laughed, “You really are so daft that you can’t even tell I have feelings for you.” 

Your eyes widened, “You... what?” 

He leaned down towards your face, “You know I can’t afford any distractions, and you have been the biggest one yet.” He muttered, the heat of his mouth dancing across your lips. 

You felt your heart start pounding in your chest. “Especially when you wear your skirts that short” He muttered looking down at the skirt you put on today. You suddenly felt a wave of confidence, caught off guard at his remark. You decided you were going to make the best of the moment, “Well, if my skirt is bothering you so much, I can take it off if you’d like?” You said looking up at him with innocent eyes. 

He slammed you up against the bookshelf kissing you, his body pressed against yours and you could feel him getting hard. You pulled away for a moment, “As long as you promise not to be cold to me and act like none of this happened.” He held your chin, his thumb brushing over your lips. “I promise” He whispered, placing a delicate kiss upon your lips. 

He kissed you roughly again, you could feel his beard against your face. He grinded against your body, his hard cock hitting over your crotch making you moan. “Wow.” He said breathless. 

“What?” You asked, hoping you didn’t just embarrass yourself by moaning.

“I’d like you to keep making that sound,” He growled, now heaving you up into his arms and turning around and placing you on his desk. You opened your legs as you sat there, his body between them as he kissed along your jaw then down your neck.

“You don’t know how long I’ve dreamt of this.” He mumbled into his trail of kisses. You ran your hands through his hair as he kissed down your slightly unbuttoned shirt. 

He unsnapped your buttons, your bra now completely exposed. He looked back and marveled at you before him, sitting on his work desk, your skirt hitched upwards, your shirt undid, and your hair a mess. He almost came in his pants right there, this was a fantasy of his ever since you started working for him. A fantasy that turned into a deep love for you that he refused to show, but you were thankful he was now. 

His hands slid up and cupped your breast over your bra. He pushed your shirt off your shoulders and you tossed it behind you. He unclasped your bra with ease, watching intensely as it slid off your torso. He bit his lip as his hands came up to your chest. “I’ve never seen a more beautiful woman” He uttered. He was lost in your beauty as you reached up and ran your fingers through his hair, his eyes closing for a moment. 

“Stephen,” You pleaded. His eyes opened and looked into yours. His eyes were no longer cold and dark, they were soft and lustful. His gestures changed to calm and loving as you slid your hand down his chest. “Undress for me” You spoke. 

He grinned as he unbuttoned his shirt, dropping it to the floor. You grabbed his hips and pulled him in closer so you could run your palms down his exposed torso. You traced along his muscles, your finger lingering as it went. He watched you the entire time like he was under your spell. Your hands reached down to his pants, unbuckling them and trying to push them down. He pulled them the rest of the way off and you could see the tent forming in his boxers. 

You looked up at him while he rubbed circles with his thumb on your thigh. You placed your hand on his cheek and pulled him in to kiss you. His hand when to your back as he deepened the kiss. He gently laid you back on his desk, never breaking the kiss. He crawled up on top of you and you instinctively bucked your hips up into him. He grunted and pulled way. He shimmied off his boxers and pushed your skirt up to reveal your lacy pink underwear. His fingers came up to rub you over your underwear, feeling how wet you already were. He couldn’t wait any longer and neither could you. 

He pushed your underwear to the side and slowly slid into you, your moans echoing off the walls. He tried to control himself but the sounds coming out of your mouth drove him crazy. He was propped up over you, his muscles fully showing as he supported himself and began to pump into you. Your knees came up as you bent your legs giving him more room to go deeper. 

He kissed your neck where it met your collar bone, your nails dragging against his back. He kept thrusting, the books on the edge of the table crashing to the ground. The only sounds were his heavy breathing, the slap of your bodies colliding, and both of your moans. He came up to kiss you and you grabbed his cheeks in your hand as he did. He pulled away, gazing into your eyes as he pleasured you, your hands lingering on his face, tracing his jawline. 

“Fuck!” He groaned, never leaving eye contact with you. You both were lost in each other’s world, wanting to see one another's face as you made each other feel so good. “Ugh- Stephen-” You cried out, the feeling of his large length hitting your g-spot. His forehead beaded with sweat as he thrusted harder into you, his pens and pencils rolling off the table. The table was rocking and making noises as he slammed into you.

Your walls began to tighten around him making him moan out in pleasure. “Y/N- Ugh- fuck!” He moaned. Obscenities began to pool out of your mouth as well. You were both reaching the end, he wanted you both to release at the same time so he reached down and rubbed circles over your clit. You closed your eyes as you cried out in pleasure. “Look at me,” He instructed, his voice husky. Your eyes opened. “I want to look at you when you come,” He growled. 

You saw his eyes grow dark as his began going in and out of you excruciatingly fast. You both moaned loudly reaching your high as he spilled himself inside of you. His thrusts were sloppy but he kept going in order to draw out your climax. You both were moaning as he continued to grind his hips into yours, your own bucking up to meet him. 

“Shit!” He grunted as he collapsed on top of your body. You held him there for a moment before he climbed off of you and helped you up. His tall and toned body bent over to get both of your clothes, resting them on the table. You sat on the edge of his desk, watching him slip his boxers back on. He looked up at you, “What?” He asked smiling. You were slightly worried that this was all he wanted and everything he said was a lie. 

“You’re not done with me now, are you?” You pleaded, your voice shaky. He rushed over to you, standing between your legs once again, his hands on your face. “No, I told you I’m not.” He said, his eyes showing how hurt he was to think he was so cold to you that you were now afraid he was going to ghost you again. 

“I’m in love with you.” His words took the breath right out of your chest. “That was more than just sex, Y/N.” 

You smiled and nodded your head, happy tears rolling out of both your eyes as he placed his lips against yours. 

@godohammers @morningriseghost

[vanaera]

Missed Calls

Synopsis | Namjoon realizes everything is amiss right after you dropped the greatest plot twist in his life. Now terribly confused about what he’s supposed to do, he starts to just avoid everything that may connect him to you. Luckily, you’ll never get tired to remind him he’s missing something important: he doesn’t have to be alone and that...he doesn’t have to watch your face on TV screens anymore when he can have all of you for himself in a single call.

Genre | Fluff with humor and a tinny bit of angst

Wordcount |3,776

A/N | This is a sequel to Unread Messages (I’m tagging you @spiicyari as per your request!) This will be another drabble series of mine, so expect random updates on this one too! (I will edit a header for this once I finally have a free time). Majority of this fic is inspired by the recent events in my life. Enjoy reading!

               Namjoon wakes up in his dark bedroom with the heavy silence pressed against his chest. He doesn’t need his glasses to see the pitch-black screen of his phone by his side, unlit with zero notifications. He turns to the other side of the bed, tearing his eyes from the said gadget. The unfamiliarity of the black screen being just black for too long taunts him to open it and just ask you if everything was a desperate mirage of his mind or not. It’s strange, too surreal, too good to be true that his Sun that talked with him through his every struggle is the same person as the Y/N he’s been dying to at least greet with a “hi”. And Namjoon knows anything that is too good can only exist in fantasies and dreams, such as him and Y/N finally, actually talking to each other.

                He closes his eyes and buries himself deeper in his sheets, with hopes that it can also drown the thoughts surrounding you and the factual probability of you actually writing a song about him. Needless to say, he woke up too soon for the hours to lift the heavy bags off his eyes along with a sudden urge to consume two mugs of caffeine to get him through another tiring day.

//

               “I didn’t imagine you’ll be this fucking handsome, god, I should have fixed myself.”

               “Namjoon?”

               “Huh?” Namjoon sits straight up, papers and pen dropping onto the floor and before he can kneel down to pick them up, he nudges his phone off his desk. Jimin saves it for him just in time.

               “Jesus Christ hyung, what’s with you recently?” Jimin hands him his phone, forehead furrowed in concern.“You look like you just woke up from death.”

               “Wow, thanks for the compliment,” Namjoon mutters, eyes fleeting to the notification bar of his cell. Still blank and black as always. He tucks it in his pocket. “I always look horrible, no need to point it out.”

               “I didn’t mean it like that,” Jimin seats himself across him, chin jut out against his crossed arms. “You’ve been too…disoriented lately. I mean you’re always disoriented but this week was really different. You even walked into a pole yesterday. What’s wrong?”

               “It’s nothing, just…woke up from the wrong side of the bed.” Yeah, probably he did, Namjoon thinks.

               “Alright, if you say so,” his friend turns to the front just the moment their Philosophy professor enters the room.

               Namjoon heaves a sigh. It’s not that he didn’t trust Jimin with his problems; the kid has been with him through thick and thin (even when he’s literally thinning out last year because of his schedule and Jimin religiously have to get into his thick skull that he has to eat). It’s just… Once you’re presence has become tangible to another, it becomes easier for them to map out who you are which also makes it easier for them to nitpick each part of you. And Namjoon can’t let his friends see him as a burden. That’s why he prefers talking them with you. Everything is easy for him – relaying his embarrassing stories and exploding outbursts through a digital screen with no condescending eyes to judge him; entrusting his secrets to a person on the other end of the world which is completely detached from his own; baring himself open to an unknown face he can just hit up with a message without being that vulnerable in front of another person.

                But now, you have a face in his mind, a face too familiar, a face everyone knows, and he doesn’t know if he can look at you the same way as before. How can he? He didn’t imagine the girl he loved in his own little fantasy will be actually you, the first female friend he had a platonic relationship. You even said so when you first exchanged names!

SunnyY/N  8:30 PM

Platonic relationships are so underrated.

MonJoon 8:31 PM

Yeah, I second that!

MonJoon 8:32 PM

I’m Joon btw. What can I call you?

SunnyY/N 8:34 PM

Just Sun! ☀ ☀ ☀

               “Just Sun?” Hell yeah, you’re the Sun to every fan like him, Jimin, and everyone else that loves you and your craft. Thinking about it, everything you made up perfectly coincide with everything Y/N does. You travelling around with “your parents” and Y/N’s promotions overseas also start the same time frame. You being hella busy “with your folks that you can’t even touch your phone” is in the same schedule as Y/N’s concert tour. You being unable to meet up when you’re in Korea just in time when Y/N is currently in Korea for an encore concert. You spamming the convo space about your loneliness the same day Y/N received tremendous backlash on the release of No More You. 

              Fuck it, Namjoon slumps his head against his desk. A loser like him is a million miles away from a star like you. You’re able to reach thousands of other better people out there so why settle on a plain joe like him? How did he manage to actually make friends with you? But most importantly, why did you let him be?

               “Namjoon, care to tell what’s so interesting with your notebook?”

               Fuck. Why now?

//

               “Y/N, seriously get off the phone, you’re going on live in two minutes.”

               “Wait manager Kang, just a minute,” you pulled your cerise lips in a tight smile before looking back at your phone, fingers somewhat numb from the minutes spent on it pressed against the screen.  

               Kang Solmi just turns away, already used to your antics. You’ve always been stuck to your phone since she handled you two years ago and until now, she can’t understand your fascination in the illuminated screen that have kept you up all night and all day.

               Well, it was different in other days, you usually tell her. “Just a message I have to check,” “Just one more look!” and “This person is important to me” - all of these already worn out on your tongue but you wouldn’t choose otherwise. You can’t open to her that you’ve been craving a normalcy in your life and this online friend of yours happened to give you just that. You can’t just blurt out too that you’ve been telling a stranger about things you’ve promised to keep exclusive only for the company, much less things you didn’t disclose even to your family and friends. And most importantly, you can’t tell her that stranger has been your muse for one year now that you can’t even control the rapid thrumming of your heart whenever you wake up to his “good morning, hoe.” For god’s sake, it doesn’t even sound romantic!

               But all of the things you can’t do, you can’t drag the screen down enough to change the things you sent in your convo space with MonJoon. It’s still frozen to the last message you sent him.

 SunnyY/N 1:04 AM

But I can’t wait that long, what if I say I want to meet you now?

               Shit, you must have freaked him out. You haven’t met him personally in the first place and you already scared him off. You bite your lip and scrunch your face in annoyance. “Why did I have to be drunk that day? Out of all days – and his birthday too! Why, why, why?! What did I even tell him that in the first place?!”        

 //

                 “Hey, Namjoon, You’re idol’s performing live.”

               Namjoon passes by  Seokjin, eyes immediately looking at the mini television they bought with hard-earned money to see the very reason of his sleepless nights singing her heart out to My Only Friend.

                The TV they bought was to satisfy Seokjin’s need for Netflix and his need to watch you on a larger screen without the possibility of him shattering it into shards. Well now, he could actually hear a resounding crack on his chest. It’s not real - you’re both born to be in different worlds, it’s just your imagination. “Yeah, okay,” Namjoon shrugged, legs fast as he heads for his bedroom.

               “’Yeah, okay?’” Seokjin looks at him perplexed, tone incredulous making him stop midway. “What have you eaten? You’re usually salivating just the moment your eyes land on her.”

               “I do not!”

               “You do!” Seokin presses, expecting to see the weird expressions his friend will put on his face.

               However, he didn’t expect to see the man huff in annoyance with an indignant scowl on his face. Namjoon only looks this scary when he’s really annoyed. Seokjin immediately drops the act and turns off the TV to follow his friend’s trudging.

               “Hey, what’s wrong, Joon? Sorry I was just teasing you.”

               Namjoon only turns on his back mumbling, “Nothing, I’m fine.”

               However, unlike Jimin, Namjoon knows Seokjin doesn’t entertain any bullshits.

               “Seriously, just tell me what’s bothering you. You look like a zombie these days, you almost finished our stack of coffee, and you’re being moody as hell like a 14-year old pubescent girl. What’s really up with you these days?”

               Namjoon looks away. He can’t just tell Seokjin the one he’s watching on the screen a few seconds ago was the same person he’s been going on and on to their friends as “Namjoon’s online girlfriend.” His friend will laugh his ass off and that’s the least he wanted to have in his shitty day before he goes for the night to tutor some brats.

               In his silence, Seokjin keeps his intense stare on him before he sticks out his index towards him. Namjoon waits, feeling his lungs squeezing -

               “Don’t tell me…you’re in a fight with your online girlfriend!”

               Oh right, Seokjin may not tolerate bullshits but it’s fine if he’s the one who gets to do so.

               “Damn you.”

               Namjoon closes his door, a relieved sigh escaping from his lips as  he hears Seokjin’s laughter echoing behind him along with the sound of the TV turning on to show a different artist taking the stage.

               Well, he can’t blame Seokjin from making that conclusion when it’s true he’s been like this when he’s going through arguments with you online.  The first one was last year when he insensitively sent you “you’re lucky you get the hell out of school because of your parents” in his sleepy haze while writing excruciating six essays he has to pass the next day. He immediately knew he fucked up when you didn’t reply for the next two days even though he knew you read his last message. Cue then the next three days he’s been quite snappy and sulky before Seokjin demanded him to get his shit straight and make an apology message for you. It was easily resolved. You forgave him and you went back to the same lively internet friend of his. 

              The second fight you had was still fresh in his mind. It was eight months ago when you asked him “Why are you letting yourself become an underdog to them?” in the middle of his rant about the bullshit of Yoomi, the bossy bitch classmate of his in Arts who thinks what she comes up with should always be followed by everyone. It offended him way more than anyone has thrown insult at him - probably the most offensive remark he received from someone - and it really hurt that it came from you, the person he regarded the only one who can really really understand him. The cold silence ensued for only two days before you immediately messaged him “sorry, it was really an asshole move on my part,” and though Namjoon finds it hard to easily forgive anyone who does him wrong, it was that day he realized how he can easily soften up to you and unknowingly let you settle yourself back in your special place in his mundane-as-ever life.

               But this time – this time, it’s different. He’s not even dealing with any cold war with you through the screen, but the moment he taps the icon of Send Me, he just finds himself stuck frozen with tingles running down his spine. You don’t message him after the bombing video call that threw him off his every expectation of the actual you behind the screen and – and it’s already been a week. Are you mad at him? Did you regret what you did? Or did you suddenly want to disentangle yourself from the mess of his life? Namjoon doesn’t know but at this moment he wants to cry. And so he does, sobs muffled by his clenched fist as he seeks comfort in his bed. He knows he’s gonna break down sooner or later and he’d rather do it now before he goes off to teach some spoiled brats later to fill his sad piggy bank for his MonStudio.

 //

                 Another week passes with Send Me still silent on the other side. Namjoon doesn’t have the guts to check it from time to time recently, afraid he’ll send something that will worsen the situation. And though that helps him to put his personal turmoil at bay, it doesn’t help him with the disarray of thoughts and pent up feelings filling the expanse of his inner calmness to the brim. You’ve been his support system for two years now and Namjoon knows it’s partly his fault why he’s like this when he’s the one who put you in the pedestal as the only one person that can really understand him. But he can’t help it when you really do as what his title on you says. 

              You helped him get through heavy workloads with constant checkups you slipped while staying awake with him until he finished all his requirements.

SunnyY/N (2:35 AM)

Hey, you still up?

SunnyY/N (3:45 AM)

Don’t you dare sleep on me, let’s finish this!

SunnyY/N (4:01 AM)

We’ve done it, hoe! Now pass it! I’m gonna catch a shut-eye now. ;DDD

               You gave him advice how to start reaching out from his introvert shell little by little just so he can make life easier for him

SunnyY/N (7:31 PM)

You don’t have to become an extrovert! Just step out a little in the open, I promise it will work.

SunyY/N (1:20 AM)

Don’t hate yourself too much. You know you can’t have everything under control, right?

SunnyY/N (3:56 PM)

I’m gonna send my love to you in hopes you’ll love yourself a little more each day, hoe. Here’s some ♥ ♥ ♥ from me :D

               And when he feels like giving up, you’re always there to push him back in his game.

SunnyY/N (12:37 AM)

Hey, you have to continue this. You have to shift to Music after this!

SunnyY/N (11:58 PM)

Joon, you know you have to endure this. Mon Studio, remember?

SunnyY/N (2:21 AM)

I’ll come to your studio someday and make great songs with you, so just hang on, okay?

               And now that you’ve been quite absent in his life, Namjoon knows he may easily just...burst, give up - lose control on the things he tries to keep at bay, especially now when he doesn’t need to have everyone know how much of a sorry loser he was.

               “Namjoon?”

               Namjoon’s eyes shot open at the recognition of Johnny’s voice on the other line. What the hell does their block’s president have to tellhim at fucking eleven o’clock in the fucking night?

               “Hey Namjoon, do you hear me? I have a favor to ask you about the upcoming event in the uni.”

               What the fuck, it’s already eleven o’clock and they’re calling me about school? Why did I even answer –

                And then he hears the goddamn voice of Yoomi. “Namjoon, do you actually know what you will do?”

               “Huh, what?”

               “Don’t pretend you haven’t seen it. You ‘seen’ the reminder I sent on Messenger thirty minutes ago.”

               Oh shit. The reminder Namjoon tapped on but didn’t actually read because the wonky internet suddenly caused the app to crash. Goddamn it, why does he and Seokjin have to forget to call the network –

               “Hey Namjoon, you there? Speak up!”

               Namjoon scrambles for his glasses, feet almost tripping on one another as he stands up. “Wait, wait, I’m getting up. I’m sorry I didn’t see the reminder; my net was shitty. Anyway, what is it that I have to do?”

               “So basically, we had each group assigned to make their own tagline they’ll post in their Facebook update for the event, but we’re unsatisfied with what they made up so we’re gonna ask you to redo them instead – “

               Wait, what? So this is the extra unnecessary event the block presidents planned? It’s not even graded, why do they have to stress on it too much? And why the hell should he redo the other’s work?!

               “It wouldn’t be too much on you, right?” Yoomi rattles on, “given that you score perfect in most of our essays in class, hmm?”

               Namjoon could already hear the warning bells of “this is bullshit” ringing by his ears and he could already imagine you scream “fucking hell no, bitch!” along with him to this whole bullshit scenario. But instead of voicing out his denial of the task suddenly thrust into him without his say in the matter, he finds his throat clogged up, unable to let the words be heard in the simple line connection. The cloudy haze in his sleep-deprived mind is also not helping in the situation. “Uhhm, uhh-“

               “You don’t understand, Namjoon? You don’t understand? You just have to do this and then-“

               He can’t deal with this right now. He presses the red icon of end call and puts the number in his phone’s blacklist. He knows it’s unnecessary but the panic in his veins doesn’t subside. It wasn’t until he pressed “leave the groupchat” where that damned task was messaged in was he finally able to sit down and breathe properly. His fingers are shaking, head suddenly pounding with long-withheld aggravation to these assholes who always have to disregard his consent in these activities – 

               “Why are you letting yourself become an underdog to them?”

               Namjoon couldn’t take it anymore. He has to reach you.

               Tapping the icon of Send Me, he presses the profile pic with your username to go into your convo space. He’s about to type everything that’s happening now but then – but then there’s missed calls and messages you sent earlier…this day?

SunnyY/n (5:26 PM)

Hey, Joon, I’m sorry I’ve been off the radar for two weeks. I’ve been thinking about the things I should say to you so as what happened the last time we talked wouldn’t turn that shitty but I guess I won’t be able to do so. I’m already shitty enough so I’m sorry you have to bear with me.

SunnyY/N (5:27 PM)

I’m sorry for shocking you that way. I didn’t intend to shake you out of your wits which probably scared you off from messaging me again.

SunnyY/N (5:30 PM)

I’m sorry again. I’ll be calling you until you pick up and I apologize this may come off irritating, but I just have to really talk with you again face to face.

            A notification now pops up.

SunnyY/N is requesting for a video call. Accept? Decline?

           Namjoon has never given out a reply so fast in his life.

           The screen changes to the same room he has seen in the last call. But today, there’s no bottle in the vicinity, and Y/N – you are looking at him straight in the camera, face bare and eyes clear of any tears.

           “Jo-Joon.”

               At the sound of your voice, Namjoon knows it’s time to let out the things he’s been withholding for too long. It’s his turn to cry now and as the tears run down his cheeks, you immediately do what only you can do to him – keeping him grounded. You let him rant out the things he’s been enduring all on his own – one of the spoiled brat he tutors stood him up in the library they’re supposed to meet, the scholarship he feels he’s about to fuck up with his recent unsatisfactory grades, and the shitty call of Johnny and Yoomi which is just so unfair on his part. He doesn’t mention his problem with you but you know it’s already implied when he looks at you beneath his lashes in sequences before he continues his words. It unsettles you that he has to have his guard up in front of you when you’ve been open to him for a very long time now. Anyway, you’d rather have him finally within your reach than have him completely disappearing for the worst two weeks of your life.

               “I-I’m sorry for looking like this,” he sniffs, fingers frantically wiping his wet cheeks. “I probably look like the typical pitiful underdog, I just-“

               “Joon, listen to me.” And Namjoon does. “You’re not an underdog, okay? You’re just doing your best at the moment, you always do. And these things – they’re just obstacles, okay? We’re gonna get through all of them, remember? You told me so in that long textpost of yours in Tumblr! Do you want me to go there and make a Namjoon protection squad?” you roll up your pale yellow sweater to show some “biceps” you wished you were actually working on, and this makes Namjoon laugh a little. You smile wider. He’s been defending you far too long, it’s your turn to have his back now. “‘Cause everyone’s been indirectly attacking you; I need to defend my hoe!”

               “No need, I’m – I’m gonna be fine,” Namjoon shakes off, his form calming down from his sobs. You always know how to make him smile again right after another breakdown. Letting his eyes meet yours from the screen, he still feels everything is a dream conjured by his wild imagination. It’s still too good to be true that the person he watches from afar now watches him and only him in the middle of the night. He simply can’t wrap his head around the actual possibility of everything that’s happening is actually real.

               You must have caught on his prolonged stare. “Are you – are you still weirded out this��is actually me?” You murmur but Namjoon still hears it. How can he not, when your voice was all that connected him to you when he hasn’t found out you’re actually SunnyY/N.

               “I’m not weirded out. I-I’m still shocked.”

               “With-with my bare face? I know I look horrible without make-up on and look-“

               “You still look as pretty as I’ve ever known you.” And this shuts you up.

               Namjoon takes in the image of you flushed and cheeks tinged in pink, the color making its way to his own blushing face. He can’t believe you’re actually blushing because of him. He’s still shy looking at you so closely so he casts his gaze down. “I-I don’t know if this is actually a dream or not – I-I don’t even know how to properly talk with you again- ‘cause I mean I’m your fan, and before you called me, you were just a fan, like me. By the way, I’m still fascinated how you just fangirled with me over you.”

               Your chuckles resounding from the other line makes Namjoon think he’s in cloud 9. “I swear I actually enjoyed doing that with you. One of my best stress-relievers.”  

               “Fangirling over yourself?”

               “Hell yeah.”

               “Okay, noted.”

               “But anyway, Namjoon, the friendship I formed with you with SunnyY/N is real and I hope you won’t change how you treated me through that convo space now that you know who I really am. I – I missed the normalcy I once had before my career suddenly put me in a place hard for me to personally reach anyone and – and I didn’t expect an online friend would give that comfort to me.”

               Namjoon smiles. “Of course. I’m just shaken up, I just have to get used to talking to my idols face to face.” You chortled at that along with him. “I wouldn’t want to be suddenly hoe-less just because I’m shocked you were actually the only person who gets me in so many ways.”

               “Promise me, you’ll be there for me just like how we used to for two years?” You put up your pinky in line with the camera.

               “Promise me you’ll tell me anything beforehand before you surprise the hell out of me again.” Namjoon also puts out his pinky leveled with yours.

               With a chuckle of “Promise!” just like how you type your promises in the convo space, the warmth Namjoon feels as he presses his pinky against the screen to meet yours felt too real.

               “Also, promise me that you won’t snitch my account to random people. I don’t wanna get hacked.” And at that, Namjoon giggles along with you.

               “Promise.”

  ��             Everything still feels like a dream. But your warm smile and comforting presence on the other side makes it hard for Namjoon to turn his back away from this one hell of an opportunity fate has given him.

                It’s really good that this is real. He knows he has to bask longer in his side of paradise along with his sun.

Post A/N | Follow up! I’ve been working on requests recently so expect some of them to drop within the following weeks. Thank you for all your support! :D

All Rights Reserved © Vanaera. No reposts, modifications, and translations of content is allowed without direct permission.

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

What’s in a title

*arrives 15 hours late with Starbucks*

Interestingly, the titles of 14x01 and 14x02 (in case you’ve missed it - Stranger In A Strange Land and Gods And Monsters) have similar routes: they’re quotes used as titles for other pieces of media and also titles of unrelated songs. Supernatural has a history of using song titles as episode titles, so it would be quick to pick the songs as the inspiration for these episode titles, but... not so fast. I am not saying that the “correct” source of the titles is the source that has something to do with queerness, but I do believe that Supernatural makes a strength out of polysemy (as irritating as it can get sometimes), so let me just drop these few pieces of information here. You draw your own conclusions.

“Stranger in a strange land” is a song by Iron Maiden and its lyrics seem to be obviously relevant to Dean’s situation as we’ve left him at the end of 13x23. Just check out the lyrics (under the cut at the end of this post, for your convenience) and you’ll see it.

But originally, the expression is a Biblical quote: it’s from Exodus 2:22, spoken by Moses during his time away from Egypt.

The quote has been used as the title of Robert A. Heinlein’s 1961 science fiction novel Stranger In A Strange Land. It’s a book about sexuality and spirituality/religion (the author called it “a Cabellesque satire on religion and sex”), and apparently there is Heaven and angels/archangels. Coincidentally, the main character of the book is called Michael/Mike.

This article by Cathy Lowne offers a quick summary and a brush of the themes. Also: as you can expect, the book is problematic, but it is also very interesting to read this article about the “queerness” (not really as in LGBT+ but as in the idea of the social construction of sexuality) of the book. It was written during the 50s (coincidentally, it seems that it took 13 years for the author to complete the book, a fit choice for the title of the first episode of the show’s 14th season...). I’ve also gathered that in the book Martians do not have a sex binary (male/female), and there’s the culture the main character grows in before learning about the culture on Earth.

More about themes (sexuality but also Mike as a Christ figure and the corruption of institutions) here, and an article about the book as a Messiah story and the theme of faith in it here.

“Gods And Monsters” is a song by Lana Del Rey, whose lyrics are also relevant from our point of view. It literally starts with “In the land of gods and monsters I was an angel living in the garden of evil” and ends with “innocence lost” so you can see a bit of relevance if you squint. (Lyrics also under the cut.)

But of course there’s more to the expression, and it’s where it gets queer. (Is Bobo Berens writing the episode, btw?) The expression (“To a new world of gods and monsters!”) is used in the 1935 movie The Bride Of Frankenstein, directed by James Whale. Apparently one of Guillermo Del Toro’s favorite movies, it is, unsurprisingly, a movie rich in religious imagery, sexual undertones, homosexual subtext - you can read a review here. The review also mentions the movie titled Gods And Monsters, a fictionalized biographical movie about the director of The Bride Of Frankenstein, James Whale.

Gods And Monsters is a 1998 movie starring Ian McKellen, one of the first movies (the first Hollywood movie?) to star an openly gay actor in the role of a gay character, in fact, a gay man in Hollywood in an age where pretty much no one was out in Hollywood. The movie features the last days of the life of Whale, now retired, old and suicidal as he faces depression and illness. Let me offer you these few articles that I made the great effort of finding on the first page of results on google (I’m sorry but my reserve of spoons is limited). The movie is the story of a man at the end of his life, and deals with loneliness, connections, memories, retirement, death. See for yourself if these themes ring any bell.

Now, the lyrics of the songs under the cut.

Stranger in a Strange Land - Iron Maiden

Was many years ago that I left home and came this way I was a young man, full of hope and dreams But now it seems to me that all is lost and nothing gained Sometimes things ain't what they seem No brave new world, no brave new world No brave new world, no brave new world

Night and day I scan horizon, sea and sky My spirit wanders endlessly Until the day will dawn and friends from home discover why Hear me calling, rescue me Set me free, set me free Lost in this place, and leave no trace

Stranger in a strange land Land of ice and snow Trapped inside this prison Lost and far from home

One hundred years have gone and men again they came that way To find the answer to the mystery They found his body lying where it fell all that day Preserved in time for all to see No brave new world, no brave new world Lost in this place, and leave no trace

What became of the man that started All are gone and their souls departed Left me here in this place So all alone

What became of the man that started All are gone and their souls departed Left me here in this place So all alone

Gods & Monsters - Lana Del Rey

In the land of gods and monsters, I was an angel. Living in the garden of evil, Screwed up, scared, doing anything that I needed. Shining like a fiery beacon, You got that medicine I need Fame, liquor, love, give it to me slowly. Put your hands on my waist, do it softly. Me and God we don’t get along, so now I sing.

No one’s gonna take my soul away, Living like Jim Morrison. Headed towards a fucked up holiday. Motel, sprees, sprees, and I’m singing, Fuck yeah give it to me, this is heaven, what I truly want It's innocence lost. Innocence lost.

In the land of gods and monsters, I was an angel, lookin' to get fucked hard. Like a groupie incognito posing as a real singer, Life imitates art You got that medicine I need Dope, shoot it up straight to the heart please I don't really wanna know what's good for me God's dead, I said 'baby that's alright with me'.

No one’s gonna take my soul away, Living like Jim Morrison. Headed towards a fucked up holiday. Motel, sprees, sprees, and I’m singing, Fuck yeah give it to me, this is heaven, what I truly want It's innocence lost. Innocence lost.

When you talk it's like a movie and you're making me crazy, 'Cause life imitates art. If I get a little prettier, can I be your baby? You tell me life isn't that hard.

No one’s gonna take my soul away, I'm living like Jim Morrison. Headed towards a fucked up holiday. Motel, sprees, sprees, and I’m singing, Fuck yeah, give it to me, this is heaven, what I truly want. It's innocence lost. Innocence lost.

[trb-reacts]

The Raven Boys, Review

So I just finished reading The Raven Boys and oh boy do i have mixed feelings about it, some mixture of keysmashing adoration and some (opinion-based, non-bashing) criticism. I’ll probably give it a 3.5/5, so if that number offends you already, don’t read the rest of this review. 

That being said, if I cited a reason for not liking something (e.g. I thought there was a logic jump or something wasn’t explained but it actually was in the book), and in reality, I just misinterpreted something, you’re welcome to inform me of that. I was in a semi rush to finish it, so I might have missed small details. 

[Also, sorry, but this is literally all straight from memory, including the quotes. I’m too lazy to find the exact place and quotes of what I remembered, so if I used quotes for anything, realize it’s not a direct quote, but rather me paraphrasing what I remembered and quoting it to show something along that line was said in the book.]

Last warning: loooong post ahead!

I think very broadly speaking, I did like the book. The problem for me is that it kinda took so long for it to get going. I did the in-depth scene-by-scene reaction for chapter 1 - 14. You guys know (or you can read) about how excited I was to finally have the boys and Blue meet and for everything to start moving. 

I don’t think it disappointing when they finally met. Off the top of my head, I can tell you that I liked Adam’s shyness and sweetness when he realized that the palm reader’s daughter is Blue, that Maura and Gansey had a stare off (”Tell me straight off if you don’t want to help me, but don’t tell me lies, don’t give me excuses.” “I don’t want to help you.” Iconic!), that Ronan had a moment of ‘Prove it’ and they showed him (”You know who killed your father”, I think. Also, Calla’s power is cool.). It’s just… it took 15 chapters, ~150 pages for them to finally meet, only for them to depart again like nothing’s going to change.

I felt like it could have really been cut down by some, like Ronan’s backstory, which was cool, or tragic, honestly, but it wasn’t necessary to be introduced waay in the beginning of the book. Honestly, I don’t think it was necessary to have his backstory appear in this book at all. I’m sure this mystery of Ronan’s father’s death would come into play later, but like… I feel like it could have been introduced in the beginning of the second book and it would have been just as well. All we really needed to know was Declan and Ronan has a bad relationship, Ronan’s father died and that those facts explains Ronan’s bad attitude and him not caring about school. The murdering part could first make an appearance at Ronan’s ‘Prove it’ moment at Blue’s, which would make the readers aware (without so much telling too) that although we knew he died, we didn’t know he was killed and also Ronan knows something about it. 

Same thing with Whelk. We coulda gotten a dark unknown POV from him and have it later revealed that tada, it was Whelk, the Latin teacher that Ronan thought was a bit shifty and Ganey thought was tragic that he couldn’t befriend him like he did with everyone else. But having everything out in the open, the story 1) dragged and 2) lots of this information, that although mentioned, is pushed to the back of the reader’s mind. I already forgot that Whelk existed halfway through the book and whenever he appeared again, I’m like, yeah, that’s right, and there’s this guy, can’t wait to see how he’ll get involved in the story. And that happened again and again and again. 

On the other hand, NOAH!!! I did not see the part with Noah coming, although in retrospect, that makes so much sense. I loved the twist!! I I think I commented somewhere that it seems like people consider the raven boys to be Gansey&Ronan&Adam more than Gansey&Ronan&Adam&Noah and that turned out to be right!! Because they don’t know he exist!! Because he’s a ghost!! Because he’s Czerny!! 

Even when they found his skeleton and the car and his license, I thought Blue and Gansey somehow went forward in time and found Noah later dead because of this treasure hunting they’re doing for this long forgotten magical king, so when the final reveal came out (”Noah, you’ve been dead for 7 years”), I was SHOOK. Legit SHOOK, goosebumps and all, and I love it so much. I didn’t see it coming but the hints were there. Noah not eating. Why Noah has so little screen time. Why he made a ‘dead for 7 years joke’ to Ashley. Why he didn’t throw up but retched when he saw the Mustang. It made so much sense, it was GENIUS and I applaud Maggie Stiefvater for this because I honestly didn’t see it coming and I love this twist. 

But, I also just… don’t understand how Declan knew Noah and how Ashely ended up meeting him. While Gansey was thinking back and figuring out that Noah was a ghost, Gansey said he didn’t remember ever seeing Noah out of their apartment, never seen Noah eat or remember anyone outside of their immediate friends mentioning Noah. But like… Declan introduced Noah to Ashley when they stopped by to the raven boys place. Is there something special about Declan or… is there any other explanation for why Declan knows about Noah and doesn’t seem to forget?

Also, I love the individuality, the different backstory everyone has, and how they interact with each other. Believe me, I do, but… besides the helicopter scene where the raven boys and Blue met up for the first time (which, btw, wtf Blue. These are essentially strangers. Aglionby boys. I know there’s a destiny to be fulfilled and your fates are linked together and all, but going into a helicopter with three boys and a woman you do not know is a BIG no-no. It’s like getting into three strange guys’ car, except worse because you’re in the air, you can’t escape. Why, Blue, why. They call you sensible. Be sensible!). 

Erm, anyway, besides the helicopter scene where the raven boys and Blue met up for the first time, I didn’t really sense, um, them bonding or growing closer? I’ll be honest, I can’t tell you how I would have gone about showing strangers growing closer and becoming friends. Maybe I would have done it the montage way that TRB opted for, with them discovering the mystical raven printed land made of oyster shells and then going, let’s meet up and research together some more! I can imagine them growing closer over those days, but at the same time, i couldn’t really sense it? 

The same way I couldn’t really sense what research they’ve done between their first visit and their second, I couldn’t tell how they grew closer. Noah fluffs Blue’s hair afterwards, but besides that… I don’t really sense a change? I think it might have been better if we were given a little more details on how those researches go, show them bickering, show Blue refusing to let Gansey buy her anything and then the boys relenting to eating lots of convenient store stuff. Show Blue and Adam exchanging exasperated commoner looks at Gansey and Ronan’s reaction to eating cheap low quality food, show Noah watching with a half-hidden smile, show the warmth that grows in Blue and Adam’s heart at the adjustments the rest of the raven boys are willing to do for them. Just… a paragraph summarizing what happened during those times are not enough for me. I can imagine, but don’t let me do all the work here. Give me some details and maybe then I can fill in the rest of the blank. 

The boys’ reaction to the revelation that it was Blue’s voice on the recorder honestly feels a little underwhelming. I was expecting a little more grilling, but then they were just like, okay, moving on, her voice on the recorder along with Gansey’s, despite she weren’t anywhere near Gansey or the recorder, despite the fact that Gansey never said anything. Blue is the daughter of a psychic, who seems like a real deal. Don’t consider asking Blue why that happened or what that meant, and definitely don’t even ask Blue to inquire Maura about it. Also, Ronan pushed, but it didn’t feel enough and also it didn’t feel like he was pushing about the things that any other person would have pushed the answers for. I do realize that Adam told Ronan to stop, but I feel equally certain that if Ronan really wanted to push, he would have gone behind their backs to find out. 

I loved that hallucination-inducing tree. It’s super duper cool, not to mention it showed all of them these visions that I’m deathly curious about how they’re going to end up playing out and of course, their aftermaths. 

Adam’s had me most curious, because it speaks of themes like deaths and betrayal. The raven boys are so close and so lovely together that I couldn’t ever imagine it happening, especially the way that Adam saw it in the dream, Gansey on the floor dead or dying, Adam standing above him as his slayer or at least the direct cause of Gansey’s harm, Ronan’s “Are you happy now, Parish, are you satisfied? Is this enough. Is this really what you wanted?” Just… tragedy is the heartbreak that awaits them, and that’s not even counting Ganesy’s death that is foreseen by his spirit being on the corpse road. 

I couldn’t imagine Adam like that in the future, couldn’t imagine what would drive him to that point, but I think we caught a glimpse of that future Adam towards the end when he tried to awake the ley line, despite Gansey’s disagreement. That… on one hand, I can see what drove him to that point, the despair, the desperation, when everything that makes you you is crush so ruthlessly beneath someone else’s feet (Adam’s pride, his individuality, and with it, his freedom within this world that constricts him because this world speaks not in humanity or kindness, which Adam has in dozens, but in power and money, which Adam don’t) that not even dust of left of it  

On the other hand, I just really didn’t want things to turn out the way they were foreseen to. I sincerely got chills when Adam left to wake the ley line, the moment when it hit Gansey where Adam had gone, and I could literally feel Gansey’s pain when he realized that Adam not only betrayed him so explicitly (”It’s not worth waking Glendower in exchange for someone else’s life”, Gansey said. “We’ll find another way.”), but spat in his face in one last ‘fuck you’ by taking Gansey’s car when Adam could have so easily hotwired Ronan’s instead. There’s so much more I can say about Gansey and Adam’s relationship, but I won’t, not here, since this is honestly supposed to be more of a review and less of an analysis, so check out this separate analysis of Adam leaving his home after reporting the abuse and the dynamic between Adam-Ronan and Adam-Gansey if you’re really interested in how I saw their relationship. 

What else? Oh, the Latin speaking trees are cool. The trees are more cultured than me. Also, I really liked Cabeswater and its ‘I will change to whatever the people in it wants.’ One, I love the specificity, Gansey discovering this trait because of the fishes and their not-red belly turned red. Second, the description for when Adam went to wake the ley line and then he was a little spooked by the darkness so he wished there was more light and Cabeswater just responded by drowning the entire forest in light, awash it with pretty fairy golden dust. I love that image so much and Adam’s evident awe. 

Aaand now we’re almost there to talk about the end, but before that, I can’t believe I forgot. Gansey’s brush with death!! Via Whelk!! Via his car breaking down!! Via reverse ex-machina. 

Like, don’t get me wrong, I was seriously tense when Gansey ended up being at gunpoint by Whelk. That was intense and I was so proud of Gansey boy when he remembered what Ronan taught him and then proceeded to toward all of them out of the proverbial window save the most important, life-saving advice of aiming. And aim Gansey did and that’s how he ended up alive here for me to talk about (tho I can’t speak too soon, let’s be honest. He is still destined to die, was still seen on the corpse road). And then following that, I love the moment when Ronan and Adam contemplated the what-if Gansey wasn’t so lucky and he died. I can really feel that they care in that scene, that both of them would be sincerely lost without Gansey there. But there were just a little too many coincidences for me to suspend my disbelief for that scene. 

And then before I forget, because how can I move on to talk about the ending without mentioning this, the Gansey for Noah trade. Did I mention that the first time Gansey mentioned he died once,  I legit thought that it was a metaphor? “Wasp squirming him, enclosing his entire body in death” seemed more metaphorical to me than real, yet that happened. 

And Noah paid the price. 

That was really chilling as they pieced everything together. So, kudos to Maggie Stiefvater again, though… I’m not sure how much this works, mathematically? The world wants Gansey to be alive, and Noah was on the ley line to be sacrificed, so they killed Noah and let Gansey live. But like… Noah was on the ley line to be sacrificed, wasn’t he, was death not his ending even without Gansey encountering death on the other side of the globe and needing Noah to swap him out of it? And yet they acted like Gansey killed Noah with his own two hands, because that was equivalent, the unwitting, unknowing, unwilling exchange. 

Also, Noah seemed weirdly chill with it for someone who unwillingly died for someone else (Gansey), and why did he end up in Gansey’s group anyway. Did Noah willingly chose to seek Gansey out knowing this was the boy that he died for? I was also expecting a little more of him and Whelk’s analysis towards the end, after all, Whelk killed Noah and they were friends before, yet… weirdly not much? I do think that was in part because Noah’s bones were moved from the ley line, so he was weaker and stuff, but at the same time, Cabeswater was full of magic, so eh, I don’t see why there wasn’t a bit more. 

Anddd, that’s about it? I was really excited to talk about the ending, but then it’s been a while and most of the details escaped me. 

Stuff that I remembered that stuck out to me: 

what happened to Neeve was just weird, Maura seemed weirdly chill about Neeve’s fate into the unknown for being her half-sister

 after all that happened between Adam and the rest of the gang (betrayal, anyone?), it seems to strange that they slotted seamlessly back together like nothing happened and despite the fact that there seems to be a bit of implications that Adam’s not quite human anymore?

the image of the gang digging up Noah’s bones from his grave is so strangely hilarious

the last line of the book: “I pulled Chainsaw out of my dream,” wtf, Ronan, don’t end like that???!!

So yeah, that’s about it. Sorry that this ended up being a bit rushed and incoherent at the end, but I did really wanna finish this post, so here’s what I thought about it. If I seem a little harsh on it, I’m sorry, I think I feel it too. All I can say is that maybe I’m too old to read YA fictions now.

If you have a scene/moment that you wanted me to talk about that I didn’t in this review, feel free to message/ask me about it. 

[apicturewithasmile]

LOST rewatch (season 3):

[follow the entire rewatch-tag here]

episode 1 – A Tale of Two Cities:

Time for Dooooowntooooown!!!

“So I guess I’m out of the book club.”

Aaaah it’s THAT Jack flashback episode aka the lowest he’s ever been aka

It’s not that Matthew Fox is a bad actor… it’s just that everyone else on the show is better than him. It becomes even more apparent with the presence of Michael “I single-handedly invented acting” Emerson being around there to stay now.

Sawyer solving the bear cage puzzle is so cute I wanna hug him.

episode 2 – The Glass Ballerina:

Awwww yaaaaas Ben’s round glasses jkdgnidfgnoidsfg

It always baffles me how long it takes for the credits to finish. Going on minute 8 of this episode and they still rolling.

It’s Sally Slingshot

Only Ben Linus can use a camping chair as a dramatic prop

“My name is Benjamin Linus and I’ve lived on this island all my life.”

episode 3 – Further Instructions:

John being speechless after seeing naked Desmond running through the jungle – #same

Wait… is that the sweat lodge episode? If so it means sweaty topless Terry O’Quinn and my body is absolutely and 100% ready!!!

Charlie just made the same “you don’t call, you don’t write” joke on John that he already pulled on Eko

It’s probably the only totally… useless John flashback. Like… we don’t really learn anything about his character that we didn’t already know. I still enjoy every second of John screentime we get but… I wish they had used this one for something else.

“amendable for coercion” is probably what Ben has written in John’s file as well

episode 4 – Every Man For Himself:

Oh shut up Charlie, you jealous ass.

It’s the episode in which Ben knocks Sawyer out with his phallic baton.

“the big kahuna”

First time appearance of the true star of the show: bunny #8

I love that of all the characters on the show, Sawyer’s the one who reads every book he can get his hands on.

Murder cactus hair!!!

Ben’s Bunny Bag™!!!

episode 5 – The Cost of Living:

Sexy linen outfit, Ben! Love the abundance of chest hair!

“Do you believe in God, Jack?” – “Do you?” – “Two days after I found out I had a fatal tumour on my spine a spinal surgeon fall out of the sky, and if that’s not proof of God then I don’t know what is.”

“I guess he’ll be expecting us.”

episode 6 – I Do:

Yet another bad wig for Evangeline Lilly

Random Nathan Fillion

I love the cage frickle frackle scene

Nice psychological warfare, Benjamin fucking Linus!

episode 7 – Not In Portland:

 I love Juliet’s curly hair <3

“I’m Tom btw.” – nice timing, Tom!

RICHARD ALPERT!!!

Ben just lying there, chilling with his back cut open… getting some fresh air on that spine.

There it is: Angel Hair Pasta story 2.0

“I wanna know what he said. You owe me an answer.” Good God what is it with Jack and this overly possessive behaviour? Why does he always have to know everything about the women in his life?!?!?! That’s not healthy, Jack!

episode 8 – Flashes Before Your Eyes:

More Desmond, hell yes!

istg that blue semi-unbuttoned shirt is such an iconic look for Desmond and it’s also hot as fuck

OF COURSE Charlie is playing Wonderwall

episode 9 – Stranger In A Strange Land:

The worst episode yet it gives us topless Benjamin Linus.

Seriously, I have hardly anything else to say about this one.

“Your bedside manner leaves something to be desired, Jack.”

Good fucking God, Jack you entitled self-righteous asshole!

episode 10 – Tricia Tanaka Is Dead:

Roger Workman!

Where’s Sayid btw?!??!?! Haven’t seen him in a while!

Aaaah there he is my bebe Sayid!!!

“SHUT UP! Red…. Neck… Man….”

episode 11 – Enter 77:

It’s the Mikhail Bakunin episode!!!

Oh wait…. Is that a Sayid episode? The one with the cat that I had completely forgotten about until now?!?!?!

I loves Sayid’s flashback hair in this episode.

NOT EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY, JOHN!!!

Oh John, what is it with you and beeping computers?

episode 12 – Par Avion:

“Remind me why we’re keeping him alive?” – “What do you suggest? We shoot him like a dog?” – “No. I like dogs.”

I love you, Danielle!

“The John Locke I know was…” nice time travel foreshadowing

Claire’s aunt is such an asshole!

John throwing Mikhail through the sonic fence is my jam!

DADDY SHEPHARD!

Okay but… if you can just go over the fence? Then why does Smokey not just… fly over it?!

episode 13 – The Man From Tallahassee:

OH NO NOT THAT EPISODE!!! Right in the feels!!!

John finally reunited with his future island husband.

The bedroom scene! Yassss!!!

“The man from Tallahassee? What is that, some kind of code?” – “No, John, unfortunately we don’t have a code for: there’s a man in my closet with a gun to my daughter’s head. Although we obviously should.” FUCK YAAAAS!!!!

“I know you, John Locke. […] Tell me John, did it hurt?” – “I felt my back break. What do you think?”

I like Tom Friendly – he really lives up to his name.

I can’t believe that Jack – the only doctor the survivors have – wants to leave the island all because Kate fucked Sawyer. Sounds like something a guy would do who’d detonate a hydrogen bomb because his girlfriend left him.

Ben and John out-sassing and manipulating each other is foreplay tbh.

“I was born on this island…” LIAR!

THE MAGIC BOX!!!! Fgnidgnidflsgnlkdd FUUUUUCK!!!! SHIT’S GETTING REAL!!!

Also a very rare occasion in which Ben’s beautiful face has no wounds, scratches, bruises…

You can see I adore this episode by how much I have to say about it even if it’s just a ramble of feels

And now it’s bondage John!

“And then you came striding out of the jungle, John, to make my dream come true.”

episode 14 – Expose:

Wow… I can’t believe I’m already that far down into my rewatch.

Unpopular opinion: I actually love Expose. It’s so… useless and dorky that it’s amazing!

“I’m just a guest star and we all know what happens to guest stars.”

It’s Boone and Shannon *cries forever*

I can’t believe someone called Maggie Grace and told her “hey, we know you got totally screwed over and we killed your character before you could have any substantial character development but… we need you back for an episode, you gotta scream your fucking lungs out of your body once more!”

Seriously…. This is the creepiest death on the whole show.

episode 15 – Left Behind:

Hahahaha it’s the one where Hurley tricks Sawyer into being nice

I loooove Cassidy and I love they mirrored this flashback with the Kate-and-Juliet-are-handcuffed-together episode

“My name is Kate.”

episode 16 – One Of Us:

It’s the one where Ben is very very creepy

That’s probably the only episode in which I can somehow understand the people who dislike Ben…. But I still love my dear rat boy!

episode 17 – Catch 22:

Ooowwww I love Desmond episodes

Oh Kate…why?!?!

I deadass forgot the whole freighter plot, like… I knew Miles & Co. where about to appear but I forgot how this whole thing started

episode 18 – D.O.C.:

Jin’s the only one who has a nice dad and a terrible mother

Also I just typed “John” instead of “Jin” which makes me wonder: where’s my bald jungle baby?

Aaaah first mention of fake 815

episode 19 – The Brig:

Fuuuuuck I’M NOT READY!!!

They made me miss my dear John for two (three?) entire episodes only to come back with this to totally rip my heart out

The “previously on” bit already wrecks me

IT’S THE PINS AND NEEDLES SCENE!!! Also known as: Ben tries this “flirting” all the cool kids are talking about.

Terry’s looking hot as fuck in that entire episode

Ben knocking out Anthony Cooper with his walking stick is my aesthetic.

Danielle causally poppin by to get some dynamite

“little hot for heaven, isn’t it?” – I would looooove this whole red herring if it weren’t for the “they were dead the whole time”-crowd

God that Anthony Cooper = The OG Mister Sawyer reveal is AMAZING!

“I thought I was special.” – “Well, everyone makes mistakes.”

Yes, James, KILL THAT ASSHOLE!!!

“I’m on my own journey now.”

episode 20 – The Man Behind The Curtain:

My precious Carrie Preston!

Uncle Horace

“Call him Benjamin.”

“You are the man behind the curtain – the wizard of Oz. And you’re a liar.”

Namaste!

Sterling Beaumon was the best casting choice for baby Ben!!!

Mikhail Bakunin still running like the devil’s chasing him (literally, kinda, considering Smokey revived him.)

John: [Ben] and I are going to see Jacob. – Everyone else: Wuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

Ben really has a history of very shitty birthdays.

And this is making me very emotional because it reminds me of the “video of tears and pain” which makes me wanna cry my fucking soul out.

“Kinda hard to celebrate on the day you killed you mom.” Oh fuck off, Roger.

Ben’s Bunny Bag™ back in action

“I don’t wanna go back there. I hate it there.”

The way Richard talks to baby Ben is soooo similar to the way Ben talks to John I’m gonna scream!!!

Okay but this is no kiddon the best episode of this entire show so far. Like… Nothing that happened up until this point compares to this!!!

I FORGOT ABOUT BEN SPEAKING TO AN EMPTY CHAIR!!!!

Still baffles me they thought they could slap some fake hair and make-up on Emerson’s face and make him look like a 20yo – when he was already older than Ben is in our now-timeline… like… was there no 20yo actor with a big nose and bug eyes around?!?!

“Goodbye, Dad!”

“The Dharma Initiative. They came here seeking harmony, but they couldn't even coexist with the Island's original inhabitants. And when it became clear that one side had to go, one side had to be purged, I did what I had to do. I was one of the people that was smart enough to make sure that I didn't end up in that ditch, which makes me considerably smarter than you, John.”

John Locke seriously bringing a knife to a gun fight!

alright kiddos, I am #fucked up now.

episode 21 – Greatest Hits:

How many episodes actually start with someone running through the jungle?

Danielle just showing up to blow something up!

According to Jack this is day 90? So it takes another 18 days for them to actually get off the island at that point?!?! Wow.

Guess that’s the end of bunny #8

episodes 22 & 23 – Through the Looking Glass:

OH MY GOD IT’S THE FIRST FLASH FORWARD!!!

“WE HAVE TO GO BACK, KATE!!!!”

“I’m a dentist. I am not Rambo.” – I love these two so much!!

Can you believe they thought it was a good idea to give Ben round glasses that make his eyes look even bigger than they already are? He looks like straight out of a manga.

There really is a lot of fatphobia in this episode.

It’s taller ghost Walt

ALEX AND DANIELLE MEET FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!! WELP!!!

Ben letting himself be tackled and punched by Jack is such a power move. I am 100% convinced he let it happen on purpose because it’s already canon that he can easily knock out friggin Sawyer!!!

NOT PENNY’S BOAT

From Ben’s perspective this is once again John “striding out of that jungle to make my dream come true”

“I don’t wanna shoot you.”

Remember when you watched that finale for the first time and didn’t know all the time it was a flash forward and not a flashback?!?!? And then Kate steps out of that car and you were all like WOOOOAAAAHHHH?!?!?!

Remember when you didn’t know whose funeral they were talking about?!?!?!

That last scene was the first time I found Jack actually likable and relatable!

WE HAVE TO GO BACK!!!