#I started making this post with the best intentions

[barnables]

Joke post but somewhat serious answer with the best intentions. You need to make the art without being mentally ill about making the art. As in, let yourself make bad, messy, un-consumable art. That's when it starts to help make the mental illness go away. Or make good art but without being perfectionistic or stressed about it. That's been my experience. Hope this helps but genuinely, I really hope this helps someone.

has anyone figured out how much art you need to make to make your mental illness go away

[doubledeadstudio]

So, you guys are probably curious… What is the future of Reanimated Heart in its current state?

I've been quiet about this for a while because I wanted to get a bulk of my work done. Considering I'm working on the last and final Chapter One update, I am now formally announcing that the whole of Chapter One will still be uploaded in public for free.

Considering harassment issues I've experienced, however, I will only be doing it when Chapter One is fully wrapped up. That means that it'll be after the next update and after a final polish. I'm uncertain when I'll be done with all this, but my hope is to put it up in December on the same date the initial demo was posted.

After that, what then?

When I initially created Reanimated Heart, it was with the intent that it was going to be a very longform, serialized thing.

For context, before I started getting into game dev, I was a freelance artist with a background on Language and Literature. I did my best to post art to please an algorithm, but my true passion was writing. I wanted to write stories and novels, but the exhaustion of drawing and vying for some sort of online influence was draining to me.

I concluded that this type of work flow was 1) Psychologically damaging and unnatural, and 2) ultimately, unsatisfying.

Even when I had pieces that would do well, it didn't make me feel good because my heart wasn't in it because I had no time to make the things I wanted to make, I had no time to do what I actually wanted, which was to craft stories about my precious characters that I've had for years and were near and dear to my heart.

And then, I decided to create something that was, essentially, antithetical to this ritualistic pattern of clout chasing I've developed… and that was Reanimated Heart.

Given my background in Literature, I was very fixated on the concept of creating a "visual novel" in a serialized format, like how certain novels used to be published. (For example, Victor Hugo's Les Miserables is only as long as it is because it's a story told in a by chapter format over a long period of time.) I thought that, if visual novels were really to be novels too, then it should be allowed to function in a way novels used to.

I also had this belief that, despite the never ending barrage of corporate shortform content vying for the attention economy, there's always going to be a part of human beings that yearned for something personal, emotionally intricate, and created over a long period of time. People want to invest in something. They want to learn about characters and the settings they live in, follow elaborate plotlines, and watch mysteries unfold. At least when I immerse myself in stories, I want it to really grip my attention like nothing else and have it live in my mind like it has a home there. And so, when I decided to make the game, I decided to stay the course of my original intentions and publish it on a semi-regular basis, with enough content to justify the months of work. I have my update schedule to prove it.

After years of working on RH, my belief has been proven completely correct. More and more people discover it over the long time period, and many of them react like I thought they would… They want to know about the characters, the plot, and the lore. They want more length and more secrets to discover, and I'm more than happy to provide that.

And so, I'll be continuing this update schedule, just in Patreon until the base game's full release in different platforms because, like I said, as much as I want to provide this content for free, its costs and the constant harassment isn't enough to justify uploading it for free.

But, because I've chosen to do this format, I've been asked…

Is this just a grift to get people to invest in your Patreon?

I have been accused of this by many people, including some devs in the so-called "yandere" VN space. Let me make this very clear now…

I am losing more money making this game than not making it.

Before I decided to make this game, I had more time to focus on doing freelance work which earned me significantly more money on a monthly basis. By focusing on gamedev, I've lost a significant amount of my regular clients. Not only that, I also put a significant amount of the budget on other contractors (such as music from Claira, art from Tay, and voice actors) and I've also put other career prospects on pause.

So, why even make something that just loses me money and invites harassment from entitled "fans" anyway?

Passion, as lame as it sounds. This is something that I want to make and earnestly believe in, something that I'll be satisfied with making later in my life. With each update, I'm thrilled by how much the narrative blossoms on the screen as much as you are. I can't keep putting money incentive over my art, because I'll end up right back where I started, which is chasing a number either in followers or my bank account. This isn't even remotely about the money for me. I will keep making this until it finishes or I die randomly.

I want to make something I'm proud of for myself. Signing up for the Patreon is more just about ensuring I can make the highest quality of game possible.

Now that I've made my intentions clear, let me get to some FAQ…

I don't agree with this model you've chosen for the game. It still feels like a grift. How do we know you mean what you say?

Check my update schedule.

I've been consistent and I intend to continue being consistent. When I stop being consistent, then you should react like a responsible consumer and stop supporting the project. If I stop intending to upload, I will make a formal announcement here, in the page, and on Patreon anyway.

If you want the updates but don't want to pay me, there are ways of getting it for free by being active in the server community.

If you only want to pay full price for the game, then wait until it's done.

And if you really don't want to pay anything at all, then don't do it. I am not forcing you to pay anything.

Can I pay only when there's an update?

Yes, that's always allowed. No, I don't think that's scummy. Everyone should be able to do whatever they want with their money.

How long is the time period between updates?

My intent has always been 3-4 months between updates. Usually updates take me a month and a half to write, then a similar timeframe for assets and coding. There are also some stuff irl that I can't help, so I put that leeway there.

Will you let us Subscribe on other platforms?

Yes, but I'm still looking into it. I'm going to do research on what the best websites are for this. I'm going to be looking into Ko-Fi soon.

Will you still be making other games?

Yes! But their uploads will be random and sporadic.

I know there are a lot of people wondering about the drastic genre leaps with my other games (coughs Another Rose coughs), but my justification is that, while I view Reanimated Heart as the novel, my other games are more like… short stories. If you've ever read a Stephen King novel and then get shocked by how random his short stories are, well, that's about the same logic I have. My "other games" are less thoughtful, sprawling stories like Reanimated Heart, and more like experiments for me to break out of my shell and have fun. While some short stories get sequels, others don't. They're pretty non-committal.

Will you ever be opening Reanimated Heart's comment section again?

Yes, I will open it again when Chapter One is finished and uploaded. I only turned it off because people annoyed me so much that I didn't want to work on it. You guys can have discussions again when I'm not releasing updates publicly anymore.

...

I hope this puts a lot of your questions to rest. If there's more, send them to my Inbox and I will add them here.

[ghostlyferrettarot]

💿˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚Pick a Picture: All about the new era you are entering in your life💿˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚

❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️݁

✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings) Open! (🔮 From now until Friday, July 25st, all services are 10% off. If you book more than one reading, you’ll receive 15% off your total instead!)

🫧Join my Patreon for exclusive content!🫧

🧸If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!🧸

🐻Masterlist🐻 🐻Masterlist 2🐻

💿˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚Pile 1:

🃏 The Sun – Queen of Wands – The Empress

First of all pile 1, wow, im so happy for you. You're entering your "Main Character Era." Ifeel like you've lived in the background for a long time. Maybe out of fear, maybe out of habit, maybe because you were taught that being "too much" is uncomfortable. But that cycle has ended. What's coming now is a stage in which you're reconnecting with your power. You're letting go of asking permission to exist fully. The cards show me a rebirth! I know this transition can be scary. Because starting to live as the protagonist involves making new decisions, setting boundaries, letting go of what no longer resonates with you. You may even lose some connections. People who were used to a more accommodating or silent version of you may react with discomfort. But it's not your responsibility to make yourself small to sustain bonds that only survive if you disappear a little. It's time to grow, even if that means making yourself uncomfortable. You're also going to start seeing yourself differently. You're going to speak to yourself with more truth, asking yourself: "What do I want?". And the best part is, you don't even need to have all the answers. You just need the intention to never give up on yourself again. You're learning to trust yourself, even when everything isn't clear. You're healing that idea that you have to have everything under control to move. You're giving yourself permission to write your story. You're embodying the version of you that no longer wants to hide. That no longer needs external approval to shine. You don't need to do everything perfectly, because life isn't looking for someone flawless. It's looking for someone who has the it factor, and you do. Welcome to your Main Character Era!!!!

💿˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚Pile 2:

🃏 Ace of Cups – The Star – The Emperor

You are entering your IT GIRL ERA pile 2. And it's not just about style, or aesthetics (although i feel like you do have an eye for fashion), but rather a very clear energy. The world is beginning to see you as you already began to see yourself. This new chapter doesn't come out of nowhere. You've worked on your inner self. You've questioned a lot. You've felt invisible, out of place, displaced, or even exhausted from faking a version of yourself that didn't do you justice, but not anymore.

But you're going to start attracting attention, opportunities, even people, like a magnet. Why? Because your energy is aligned with your truth. You're no longer vibrating from insecurity. You're vibrating from the silent confidence of someone who knows what they're doing. You're going to start influencing others without even realizing it (maybe you will even start posting on social media). The way you dress, your decisions, your way of speaking or sharing your life, all of this is going to feel inspiring to others. You're setting trends just by being you. Prepare to receive unexpected compliments, new connections, moments of visibility that will take you by surprise; i also see a glow up on the way, you could be changing your makeup. But above all, prepare to feel good about yourself. You're reclaiming your space, your voice, your way of being in the world. And you no longer need to diminish yourself. You don't need to compete. You just need to be. And that's exactly what you're doing; so happy for you pile 2 <3.

💿˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚Pile 3:

🃏 6 of Wands – The Fool – Knight of Wands

OMG pile 3, You already felt it, right? That feeling that something huge is about to happen. As if you'd been preparing, not quite knowing what for, but with the certainty that all the internal work, the difficult decisions, were because of something bigger. Because now you're entering your FAMOUS ERA. You're about to be rewarded pile 3. But not for something superficial. You're being recognized for what you've built with your hands, with your heart, with your difficult decisions, with your truth. I see a long time project of yours succeding, or an idea you had that is finally coming true. This new era isn't easy. You could to reach places and people you never imagined. You're no longer turning down the volume on your power to be more "acceptable" or more "discreet." And yes, you're going to attract attention. You're going to be more visible. You're going to start feeling the energy moving differently. Maybe people start contacting you for new things. Maybe your social media presence is growing. Maybe your name is starting to appear in conversations you didn't even know you were even talking about. It's your moment. It may also be that you'll start generating more stable income or one that's more aligned with what you love. Maybe you'll launch something. Maybe you'll finish a project that seemed impossible. It could be a personal brand, a book, a community, a new career. This era also requires commitment. It requires that you believe in yourself even when imposter syndrome appears. It requires you to take care of yourself, to set boundaries, to honor your energy. And you need to keep choosing truth over validation. But don't worry. You already have the inner maturity to sustain this. You are no longer the old version that doubted its potential. So yes, welcome to your ✨FAMOUS ERA✨ pile 3.

💿˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚Thanks for reading and let me know if it resonated!💿˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚

[212thghost]

the true horror of the Watcher

i’ve gone on about this is one of my other posts already (and im gonna repeat myself a bit) and i’ve seen some other people talk about it, but i really want to get all my thoughts out about this. 

throughout the show, we see the Eye manifesting as betrayal of consent. honestly, what’s so terrifying about being watched, observed, or even judged if you consent to it? if you know you’re being watched and are okay with it, if you share a secret willingly and gladly. even horrible and devastating knowledge is best processed when you’re prepared. a huge part of the Eye’s horror is that it’s completely against your will. you don't want to be watched or you don’t even know. your worst secret somehow got out and now everyone knows. the discovery you just made completely blindsided you. it takes away your autonomy, your privacy, and your security. more so, it’s a perfect breeding ground for paranoia. what if it happens again, what if your secrets are never safe again, who will betray me next? this particular manifestation is a perfect tool for the Watcher. 

one of the most obvious examples is Jon and Elias having the ability of Compulsion. they can literally force anybody to tell them anything they want, and once they ask the question you physically cannot make yourself stop speaking!! Daisy describes it as “your secrets pulled out like teeth, just because he asked.” (MAG 91) not only are your darkest secrets being revealed but they are taking it from you. 

Jon is made into the ‘Archives’ by Elias without truly understanding what he was being groomed for. and this is absolutely NOT to say that Jon was completely unwilling or that in a thousand little ways, he didn’t choose to be an avatar. i mean that Jon was being groomed into the perfect lynchpin for Elias’s ritual since Day 1 and he had no idea. Elias sends him on little quests, throws avatars his way, and puts him in situations for the sole purpose of getting him Marked by the Entities. Jon has no say in these encounters nor does he know what they really mean. Jon might’ve chosen to be an avatar but he had no say in participating in the Watcher’s Crown. i'm not even going to get into Jon’s overall relationship with his body but we all know it’s abysmal.

and i have to talk about the “Hello Jon” because this is a complete and horrific breach of Jon’s autonomy in so so many ways. for one, he cannot even stop reading the ritual once he begins and he so desperately tries. the fact Elias tricks him into summoning the Entities by writing the incantation as a statement is what really gets me. Jon feeds off statements. i know this is probably going to sound silly or melodramatic, but Elias pretty much slips something in his food. imagine you’re eating a sandwich and there’s a fucking explosive in it. in so many different ways, Jon’s autonomy is completely stripped for the entirety of this episode. he cannot stop speaking, he cannot move, he was deceived, and the means of this betrayal was in something he believed and trusted would be safe. 

Jon routinely reads people’s minds, and while it (usually) isn’t intentional, he still breaches their consent. the others, for example Basira, makes a point to tell that he is not welcome snooping around in their heads. we have the entire MAG 142 incident. Jon finds someone Marked and he takes her statement, he pulls it from her lips, and part of the horror is that she could not stop herself from speaking. she has no say in the matter, her secrets are spilled out before this stranger who will not stop watching her just because he asked. the statement giver says, “I want to tell him to, to go away; I, I wanted to kick him and run. But I sit down. And I start to tell him everything.” (MAG 142)

also Jon cuts a bullet out of Melanie without asking while she’s asleep. Jon makes Jordan Kennedy into an avatar without asking; he remakes him, almost how Elias remade Jon. Gertrude, as well! She binds Gerry to the Catalogue of the Trapped Dead! I have to think she knows he’d hate that, but she does it anyway. Gerry has no autonomy here. 

some might be thinking: isn’t all fear pretty nonconsensual? yeah. i understand this argument, but i'm specifically talking about the way the Eye purposefully utilizes a breach of consent to create even more horror and fear. also, some of the subtle horror of the Entities is that sometimes it doesn’t betray you. in s4, Martin chooses to isolate himself. while this choice is one he made under Peter’s persuasion, his trauma and abysmal self-worth, and his misguided attempt to protect the others, the emotions that feed the Lonely are from a willing and conscious choice. Martin willingly chooses to give himself to that fear and isolation. that’s what makes it so horrifying. his autonomy was never disrespected and, if anything, Peter could not force him at all for his plan to work. 

what really sells me on this concept is from the Watcher’s Crown Incantation. it says, “You who wait and wait and drink in all that is not yours by right.” (MAG 160) the Eye is not entitled to all its knowledge. it is not entitled to see you. it does not deserve your secrets or fear or history. it takes it. the Eye drinks in information hungrily and greedily, it pulls it from your mind like teeth with no real comprehension except for a cold and malicious desire to know all that there is. it does not ask or plan or wait or persuade, it simply takes what it wants.

[xmoodynuggetxx]

I was inspired both by my own post and @queersyourgender’s edit that i made a lil tidbit of goofy Frank.

This was written, edited and posted within maybe an hour so if there’s mistakes then just skip over them, pretty please 🙏🏻

( @queersyourgender read it over and gave their thumbs up), moodboard made by me though it’s not my best, I didn’t know what other photos to include lmao

Anyways-

It wasn’t his intention to let a bet get this far but in the end it was worth it to see Mel’s face light up whenever the damn song comes on and they’re both brought back to that low point in his life- well okay maybe that was too far and it wasn’t exactly his lowest but it was a close second.

It started on a slow day, not that anybody would say such a thing but everyone thought it. Trinity was lounging around the nurses station, huffing as she looks around and then suddenly speaks. “I bet you 20 dollars that the next person who comes in is something sexual.”

Frank just swings around in his chair, pausing from where he was texting something to Abby on his phone and sent her a confused look. “You’re talking to me?” And then chuckles at the other doctor’s nod. “I’m not paying you any money Santos, I’m not getting involved.”

Trinity, honest to god whined and tipped her head back and to the side so her cheek was pressed against her shoulder. “Oh come on Langdon, let loose for once.” She tells him with a shove to his shoulder. “Okay fine, you won’t do money? I have something even better actually, what if the loser has to raid the lost and found box and put on a performance?” She wriggles her brows, looking up to where Dana is now leaning against the desk and seemingly interested.

Frank considered her offer, they hardly got anything related to sex since it’s more of a night shift thing but he supposed he’d take the chance just to see Santos parade around in whatever fuckery they could come up with. “Alright Santos, you’re on.”

They completed the transaction with a handshake and Dana was their witness, if nobody was to come in with a sex related injury in the next 2 hours then Frank won and if someone was to face the embarrassment (it was for sure embarrassing and no matter how much the doctor says it’s completely normal, they’re definitely gonna laugh about it no matter how professional the doctor) then Santos won, and he had a pretty good chance.

-

“Frank!” He hears the woman before he sees her, looking up from some sutures he was doing to a kid who had fell out of a tree. “You better get suited and booted my guy, there’s a case.” She wriggles her brows, giving a nod to the kid in the hospital bed before she just leaves, nothing else to say and he accepts his defeat.

“A case?” The dad questions, hovering nervously near his son with his coat hung over his arm and it really didn’t suit the conversation they were surely about to have.

“Nothing but you might wanna stick around if you’re up for some laughs.” He says, finishing up. “There was a case related to uh-“ he glances quickly to the kid. “18+ stuff and I lost so I have to raid the lost and found.” He winces, hearing it explained and coming out of his mouth just makes him realise what a sore fucking loser he is and how bad this is gonna be.

The man has the decency to look embarrassed after he laughs, shaking his head. “Damn okay, don’t rush on those discharge papers then, huh doc?”

-

Mel hadn’t exactly had a boring day, there was a couple traumas here and there, a lady who managed to climb through her exes window and get her entire forearm cut in the process and some kid eating too many sweets but nothing would come to this.

She heard the commotion first, coming out of the staff on-call room when she heard the tell tale signs of the famous Macklemore song. She wasn’t an avid listener but would sing along if it came on the radio but today she couldn’t help but nod along to the beat as she joins the crowd.

She wasn’t sure if to be surprised or not when she notices the familiar brown mop of hair under a hat and the dimple in her boyfriend’s chin as he stands by the edge of the nurses station wearing what seems to be an oversized, zebra coat, bright pink coloured glasses and a massive floppy hat, all while flailing his arms out and dancing on the spot.

“What’s this?” Robby questions, coming up beside her and then laughing when he gets the whole picture. “Another Santos bet?”

“Wouldn’t surprise me.” Mel replies, finding herself smiling when Frank moves his hips side to side along to the beat and is doing finger guns to everyone around him. “I don’t even want to know how they got to this point.”

“Regretting your choices yet King? That’s your boyfriend up there making a fool of himself.”

“A fool? No, it’s just pure entertainment that he’ll never live down.” She tilts her head fondly to the side, watching as he saunters over to Trinity and places the said floppy hat onto her own head and drags her up to the makeshift stage.

It was nice seeing him loose and happy, the weight of his past mistakes forgotten about and instead familiar dance moves and lyrics take their place. It was a nice change of pace to the usual routine of the ER and the patients enjoyed it too, some even recorded and posted it online, giving Frank temporary fame as college students or even kids recognised him when being treated and that certainly pissed Santos off.

Eventually though everything died down and Frank was back to being only goofy for the King sisters, keeping this side of his personality for their eyes only between the four walls of Mel’s apartment.

[rafyki]

I think something that for me really sets aside Jack & Joker from other Thai dramas is its narrative structure. Thai dramas usually have a very simple narrative structure where things just keeps happening without a proper flow - I mean, something happens, it gets resolved, and then something new happen that keeps the story move; you know, all those little problems that aren't really all connected together (like, the main characters get together and then someone new appears that comes in between them; or it turns out that, idk, the family was homophobic all along, or that one of the characters actually had a complicated relationship with their family - things like these that are disconnected).

Maybe it's because Jack and Joker has a pretty solid and complicated plot, but something that I really love about it is the way everything that happens is connected, everything is a direct consequence of the characters' actions. It's like this since the first episode until the last one - the plot is brought forward by the characters' actions, everything they do has consequences on everything and everyone else. Like, Joke seeks Jack's forgiveness, so he wants to steal the ring for him, and he works with Tattoo and Hoy -> Tattoo steals the necklace which causes problems for everyone -> they need to steal the necklace back -> Jack meets Rose again, which causes everything else to happen, etc etc

Everything is connected. And I think it all comes back to one of the series' themes, which is that everything we do has consequence, that even if out intentions are good we can't predict what our actions will cause; that we live in a community and that we cannot think about ourselves only bc every time we do something that can end up influencing someone else's life. that we can't be selfish in a community.

[lokh]

being like man i probably gotta talk to people/make friends. finding out ways to make that happen irl and being like ykno what nevermind

[fellhellion]

tbh the only thing i’m still kind of confused about is how much hobie knows about the canon event framework? and thus how to view what he tells miles, and what the approach to that says about his character?

he asks gwen if she’s told miles about his place in all this - most likely referring to the anomaly status + likely also why she chose not to visit - but that would imply he would know the framework miles is an anomaly to? his deflated reaction when miles happily agrees to come to HQ also makes the most sense if he knows how miles would be percieved. 

but the way he says he doesn’t have a clue about the why of what they do makes it sound more likely that hobie agreed to help spider society to keep an eye out for gwen, plus wrangle anomalies because they cause dimensional damage and hurt civillians, and he therefore doesn’t know about canon events. i don’t know why he’d bother with the cloak and dagger act with miles in this case, if he (like gwen) would’ve preferred if miles skipped out on coming to spider society and thus getting grilled by miguel in the first place. there’s something to be said for hobie being a punk anarchist who would likely prefer to just prompt miles questioning the harm this system can perpetuate, and thus free himself, but it’s still confusing for me. 

the way hobie doesn’t seem overly surprised by miguel’s canon event explanation, as well as the fact we can assume all spiders present know about it already given their lack of a reaction, seems to say he did know. so. why bother saying you didn’t or implying there could be alternate agendas to what they want out of conforming to canon (or if you did truly believe the latter, why do we not see him speak to gwen at all about this and why do we not see any indication of this in how he speaks of/to miguel? also i personally just don’t read hobie as someone who would’ve assisted in this org if he thought anomaly wrangling was about perpetuating harm). to prompt self reflection in miles presumably but it’s also like. why.

when hobie’s contrarian for fun he’s actively having a laugh at the stereotype that this is what punks and anarchists are, but this is miles’ life and his father’s life. I can’t see hobie being contrarian here as a joke but i’m just really confused trying to understand what he does or doesn’t know and thus how to interpret his decision making regarding the information he does know. 

[beanietopia]

choso has a porn addiction, plain and simple. every morning for him starts with the same: open up twitter, get his bottle of lotion, and scroll through his bookmarks until he can cum. he’s had girlfriends in the past, they all thought his addiction was gross. what girl would ever entertain a guy that jerked off to random girls getting creampied on twitter?

well, you, of course.

he messaged you on a random morning, ‘hey’, was all it said. you happened to have a slight porn addiction of your own, having filled your bookmarks for your own solo sessions. you didn’t realize your messages were open and felt your brow go up as you read his message. a click to his bio and there wasn’t much there, just the year he was born and 🇯🇵. your first instinct was to delete the message, but your curiosity got the best of you. you messaged back, investigated how he found your account, and choso revealed his intentions.

‘are you into the idea of sending some nsfw posts to each other?’

choso used to sext with his ex girlfriends, but none of them wanted to include porn. they found it weird and considered it cheating to look at videos while in a relationship. now here he was, randomly texting a stranger on the internet to get a quick nut. if he wasn’t palming his dick through his shorts right now, he’d actually think he looked a bit pathetic. it wasn’t until you said yes and started sending your bookmarked videos did he realize what he was getting himself into.

freeing his dick from his briefs, he started to stroke himself while imagining himself doing the things in the videos with you. he didn’t know what you looked like, hell, he wasn’t even sure you were who you said you were. but you were just as porn obsessed as he was, and he didn’t think you could get any better until you sent another message.

‘let me suck it while you play video games.’

it’s like you knew the exact words to say to get him off. choso hastily reciprocated, although it had become quite difficult to type with one hand. he confessed on how desperately he wanted to cum in your pussy and how you suck him in so well, not knowing that you too had started pleasuring yourself at the mere thought. it had been a while and you needed some action too, okay? his messages started getting further and further apart until he asked you to send a post he can finish to. bringing yourself back to reality for a quick moment to send him a creampie video, how could you have known his favorite genre? you found yourself soon chasing your own orgasm. the echoes of the moans coming from your phone had blended with yours, and you soon came undone on your fingers. 

once you remembered to look at your phone again, choso had let you know that he had made a mess, followed by a picture of his cum stained hand and torso. when you sent back a picture of your glistening fingers and soiled sheets, choso audibly moaned. what a pervert.

‘fuck, you’re making me hard… is same time tomorrow good with you?’

part 2

--------

uhh welp this is my first piece of work on tumblr LMFAO HEY GUYS! special shoutout to my pookie bears @gojoscinnamonroll @xixflower @takumasimp @webism for encouraging me and AAAAAAAA I HOPE SOMEBODY LIKES THIS,,,, i wanna keep posting on here so lmk what you think :3 ok bye beanie out

[gamebunny-advance]

I Caved

I cast a vote so I could see how the poll was doing, and the results are about what I expected. It also roughly correlates to how much time I spent designing each one, so maybe there's something to that.

But, regardless of *why* the results are this way, it seems like Ice came out on top, so if I ever get around to that project, I guess it'll focus on him~

Thanks for voting everybody~ The poll is still open if you want to try and change things, but I don't see Ice being usurped any time soon.

It wasn't close at all~

[charlotteking27]

Pursuing the Journalist

Max Verstappen x reader

Summary: Max makes his intentions clear, that he wants to pursue you, so much so that he's already planning your future with him.

Warning: This is part two of The pretty Interviewer.

The next morning in Monaco, the paddock buzzes with energy. You barely reach the Sky Sports tent before your producer rushes up to you, smiling like she just won the constructors’ championship.

“Don’t look now,” she says, “but there’s already a crowd outside. They want to see if Max will charm you on live TV again.”

You bury your face in your notes, trying not to blush. “He’s just playing with the media. He loves stirring things up.”

Your producer laughs. “Right, and I’m really Toto Wolff. You two broke the internet last night. Even the official F1 account is in on it.” She holds up her phone, showing you a meme: Max in his race suit, captioned, “Find someone who looks at you the way Max looks at the Sky Sports reporter.”

Suddenly, the crowd outside parts with excitement. Max appears at the paddock entrance, scanning the area until he spots you. Before anyone can react, he jogs over—helmet in hand, a big grin on his face.

Reporters and fans begin to murmur, cameras turning your way. Max doesn't care. He reaches you in an instant, taking your hand, warm and confident. The world seems to pause as he pulls you beside him, walking through the paddock together, fingers intertwined as if it’s perfectly normal.

Cheers and whistles follow you like confetti. Someone shouts, “Go on, Max!” He just squeezes your hand, glancing down with that charming, lovestruck smile that makes your heart skip.

“You didn’t think I’d let you handle this chaos alone, did you?” he whispers, just for you.

Your producer’s jaw drops. The Sky cameras are rolling. It’s Monaco, and for a moment, it feels like the whole world is watching Max Verstappen stroll hand-in-hand with you to the biggest race of the year.

You’re still groaning when Max shows up, surprisingly relaxed for someone about to race in Monaco. He flashes you a grin that promises trouble—except this time, there’s a softness to it, one that doesn’t fade when the cameras are on.

“Ready for your exclusive?” he asks, keeping his eyes on yours, ignoring the crowd of reporters pretending not to listen.

You try to remain professional. “Max, you’re starting on pole for the Monaco Grand Prix. Any nerves?”

He leans in close enough for you to catch a hint of his cologne. His eyes linger on your face just a beat too long. “Only if you’re nervous. I think that’s the only thing that could throw me off today.”

Your producer, clearly done with professionalism, whispers in your ear, “He’s got it bad for you.”

You push on. “What’s the plan for turn one? It’s usually chaos.”

“Stay ahead, avoid chaos, and maybe—” he pauses, giving you a slow look that makes your cheeks flush, “convince you to have dinner with me again after I win. Monaco’s stunning, but you make it unforgettable.”

You choke, and Max’s grin spreads wider. He leans in, his voice dropping, “Honestly, I’d race here every weekend just for a chance to see you.”

“I’m trying to do my job,” you hiss, covering your mic.

He shrugs, completely unruffled. “So am I. Just… my job’s a lot more fun when you’re around.”

The interview becomes a blur—a mix of technical talk and playful flirting, with Max teasing hints about post-race plans and you doing your best to act like you haven’t already agreed to a late-night stroll by the harbor. When it ends, Max lingers as if he’s forgotten there’s a race to win.

“You know,” he says, lowering his voice, “I used to hate interviews. Now I look forward to them. You’re the only one who makes me nervous.”

Your stomach turns. “Because you enjoy being the center of attention?”

He shakes his head. “Because when you look at me, I feel like I’ve already won.”

Before you can say anything, he strides back toward the garage, leaving you flustered and the entire F1 Twitterverse moments away from a meltdown.

The race is pure Monaco: tight, intense, impossible to predict. Max leads from the start, but a late safety car changes everything. You watch, holding your breath, as he navigates through the turmoil, the world focused on him.

He wins. Of course he does.

As the Red Bull zooms past the checkered flag, Max’s radio crackles with his engineer's euphoric shouts. He barely catches his breath before grabbing the radio, his voice filled with adrenaline.

“Max, you legend! Monaco winner! That’s how you do it!” his race engineer exclaims.

Max’s laughter is full of disbelief, almost boyish. But then he shifts his tone, warmer and more thoughtful. He knows everyone is listening—his team, the fans, the world.

“This one’s for someone special,” he says, steady as can be. “I want to dedicate this win to the Sky Sports reporter who survived my flirting all weekend. You know who you are. Thanks for making Monaco unforgettable.”

The team erupts with cheers and laughter. The crowd, hearing the dedication over the loudspeakers, goes wild.

Max grins into the radio, barely hiding his mischief. “Honestly, the car’s quick, but not as quick as my heart every time you ask me questions.”

His engineer groans, half-laughing, “Max, mate, you’re killing us.”

Max just laughs, a bit smug. “What can I say? She’s my lucky charm. That dinner offer still stands, by the way. Monaco’s beautiful at night—almost as beautiful as her smile.”

The paddock buzzes with chatter. Social media is already going crazy.

When he finally walks into parc fermé, covered in champagne and smiling, he looks right at you. The world’s cameras may be on him, but he finds your eyes first.

Later, the post-race interview turns into a frenzy. Reporters jostle, microphones wave, but Max waits, arms crossed, until you stand in front of him. Everything else fades away.

“Congratulations, Max,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Thank you.” He gives you that look that has sparked countless tweets. He leans in close enough that only you—and possibly millions of viewers—can hear. “You know, if I’d known winning Monaco would get me this interview, I would’ve tried even harder.”

You raise an eyebrow. “You just won Monaco. Shouldn’t you be celebrating with your team?”

Max shrugs, still only focused on you. “I’d rather celebrate with you. Maybe you’ll finally say yes to that dinner. Or do I need to win another race?”

He leans in, whispering in your ear with that grin. “Careful, or I’ll have to dedicate every win to you. Might make the other drivers jealous.”

The cameras capture it all—your laughter, his easy smile, the way he leans in as if he’s about to share a secret. The clip is already being shared, meme’d, and picked apart by the time you both slip away from the paddock, hearts racing, the world watching.

By midnight, Monaco’s streets have quieted down. You and Max stroll along the harbor, the air thick with anticipation and the scent of the sea. This time, there are no cameras, no microphones—just two people trying to figure out what happens next.

He stops, gazing out at the yachts bobbing on the dark water. “You know, everyone’s going to have an opinion about this.”

You nudge his shoulder. “Since when do you care about everyone?”

He laughs, soft and genuine. “I don’t. I only care about you.”

You open your mouth to respond, but he’s already leaning in, gentle and certain. For once, you forget about the world watching, the noise, the chaos, and the next race.

What began as just another paddock interview now feels like the start of something entirely new.

And you wouldn’t trade it for pole position—not even on a street circuit.

Taglist: @bowielovesyou and @lilypat

[ikeukiss]

DARE ME TO

〔 𝒾 〕 Your best friend told you her brother was off limits years ago, and that should have been the end of it. But feelings, especially reciprocated ones, don't die, not when you're going to be in close proximity for a week.

𝐬𝐢𝐦 𝐣𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐮𝐧 𝓍 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 11.7K ⋮ 18+ ⋮ angst, fluff, smut, best friend's (younger) brother!jake, forbidden attraction au, college au, alcohol use, feat! heeseung, dry humping, clit play, body worship, dirty talk, unprotected sex, creampie ᯤ 𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝗈: new emotion — the aces, do you think about me — lahar, boys like you — who is fancy, starving — hailee steinfeld, butterfly rain — tori templet, i'm not in love — emily james, dive — ed sheeran, ready set go — bnza, shooting star — muna, say it again —frances

⌗ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 ── Nobody ever really does female best friend's sibling and I wanted to for this because Jake is clearly my muse and I'm obsessed, so here we go! Bless all my friends who read the story before its release— @tinycatharsis, @lovetaroandtaemin @xylatox @xomakara @aeristudios @hannieoftheyear and @frenchkisstheabyss—because they kept me going to post it! I love you all so much, thank you. I hope you guys enjoy!

There are two things you are certain of in this life. Sim Jaemin, Jamie to those who know her best, will always be your dearest friend, and she is relentless in getting what she wants.

Jamie pushed herself to learn tennis all on her own at nine, simply because she found Serena Williams incredibly attractive wielding a racket like a sword. She decided in middle school to make you her best friend, even as she was an opinionated, bouncy thirteen-year-old that made you, a girl who still hid behind her lunchbox, feel intimidated to no end. She convinced her parents to take in the neighbor's dog at sixteen when the old couple decided to leave the beautiful pup behind. "Layla is too cute to just go to anyone!" The pout she threw, perfectly curved with the cupid's bow of an angel, made every single person in the family cave without another word. Jake needed little persuasion; her little brother was always fond of animals. Still is.

Then, she got older, and more reasonable demands came to the forefront.

"I don't want you ruining our friendship by liking my brother." When she said this on the verge of your first year of university, it was the furthest thing from your mind. Tuition paperwork, scholarship applications, and the freshman fifteen was all you could focus on back then. Even as you watched Jake, on the tail-end of junior year, swim a few laps in the family's pool.

"One, he's too young for me. Two, you're worth more than a crush, as if I had one." Your arguments convinced her because it was true. You did not like Sim Jaeyun. You would barely look his way if he didn't have familial ties he shared with your best friend, although he was always friendly and funny to you. Yet, that was the intention: a younger brother, annoying, yet well-behaved.

He crosses your mind now and then, some photos he shares with Jamie popping up on your feed when she goes to her parents for visits without you, leaving you behind in your shared dorm room to doomscroll and avoid the problems awaiting at home. She's beautiful, bright, magnanimous in personality.

It's no coincidence her brother shares the same level of allure.

Now, he lingers on your mind as your hands clench the steering wheel. You and Jamie always went home for spring break, tradition the strongest facet of the Sim family. As Jake is also on his way home for his first spring break since starting college, his soccer scholarship keeping him plenty busy, you wonder how the dynamic between all of you—three full-fledged adults—will change. You're not much older than each other. Two years separate you girls from the only boy in the Sim household, but Jamie has always been smaller than her brother; the youngest sprouted like a tree when he reached high school. You, you're just short because of the universe's sarcastic design.

"Are you even listening? I'm baring my soul here about Chungha and you're too busy lost in thought!" Jamie cries, throwing an arm over her eyes for a dramatic flare.

You chuckle. "I'm actually too busy driving the car, asshole," you note with a quirked eyebrow. "Anyway, I thought your broken heart was because of Seungcheol."

"That was two months ago! This is now! She was supposed to Facetime me last night about her plans for the break, but never did. She hates me now, it's official."

Just because Jamie is headstrong doesn't mean she's prone to being realistic.

You sigh. "Her phone probably died. And we left pretty early this morning. I bet she'll text you as soon as she gets up today."

She nods, whining but agreeing. "I don't know what I'd do without you. I'd have lost my head by now."

Laughing, you make another turn. The street the Sim family house resides on comes into clear view, birch trees and tulip bushes welcoming you like an old friend coming back from a long trip off to faraway lands. You breathe easy, already feeling more at home here than anywhere else, including your parent's place twenty minutes away.

You always tell them you're too busy to visit, even during the occasional weekend off from exams and term papers. It's too hard to watch them bicker and pick you apart like they've done since you were small. At Jamie's, with her parents and Jake, you don't feel like an outsider intruding with every eggshell you stumble upon. You're safe, content, fearless.

When you see her parents at the front door, ready to welcome you both with warm hugs, you're reminded of the peace they provide. There's no need to act formal, not anymore. Not when they've seen you through all of your formative years with more kindness than your own family has ever provided.

"There they are!" Jamie's dad, Yongjin, exclaims. He pulls Jamie into a bear hug as Jihyun, her mother, wraps her arms around you.

You drop your bags on the doorstep, embracing Jihyun fully. She smells like rosemary and plum, with hints of book pages. No other scent can replicate it. "Let me look at you," she says as she plants both hands on either side of your face. "Have you been eating? You look pale."

You nod, grinning. "Just wanted to wait until we got here to dig in. Besides, I know there's braised pork waiting for us on the counter."

Her face scrunches up as she smiles and pats your cheek. "Nothing gets past you, huh, ladybug? Let's go inside then! I know you girls are hungry."

Your old nickname used to drive you crazy. But you'll always hold a special place for it, especially when Jihyun says it with every ounce of love she possesses.

"Where's Jake, dad? Still on his way?" Jamie asks as she drops her bag in the hallway.

"He's in the pool. He actually got in last night. Practice was canceled last minute, so he came straight here." Yongjin coughs as he picks up both of your bags, heading upstairs to drop them off in your respective rooms. "Bring the rascal in for lunch, won't you?"

"Not before your daughter helps with setting out the plates!" Jihyun turns to Jamie with a smirk. Your best friend rolls her eyes but runs to the kitchen without a word of protest. Jamie may get what she wants, but she knows to follow a parental order like holy scripture.

Jihyun turns her smile on you. "Ladybug, go bring in Jake, please?"

You nod, walking toward the glass doors leading to the backyard area. You open one slowly, taking in the surrounding sunshine that bathes the pool in an ethereal glow. The spirit of the Sim house extends to every corner, including the water you've swum in a thousand times.

Before you can even call out to him, Jake's moving out of the pool and leaning down to grab his towel from the beach lounger. Once he sees you, his expression changes from intense focus to his usual softness. His shoulders slack like any pressure he was carrying disintegrates, his face contorting in the same way with a cheery grin and raised eyebrows. His wet hair swipes across his face like a mop, but you could recognize him anywhere. 

A pregnant pause sits between you both, and you’re unsure why. Maybe it’s because Jake looks different from the last time you saw him that week in August, before he left with the wrecked nerves of an incoming freshman. He was scrawny, not a muscle on him except for the ones he gained from soccer—which weren't that many because of his stature—with braces that carried him through his teenage years like a backpack. Now, he’s all white teeth and chiseled abs, body confidently glistening under the rays of sunlight. 

You’ve been the same appearance-wise for years, but Jake looks at you like you’ve gone through a metamorphosis only he can see. It makes your cheeks bloom a shade deeper than you're used to, but you try to brush the feeling off. It means nothing, can mean nothing.

“You’re early,” he says finally.

"Wanted to miss all the traffic," you reply, hands splayed out on your thighs. "I'd hug you, but…you know."

Jake takes that suggestion as a dare, lips pursing in a suggestive pout. He runs before you can take the hint, grabbing you between his biceps and immediately squeezing you against his wet skin as you squeal. "When has that ever stopped me, ladybug?"

Despite his soaked form and the small distance he puts between you both when he's satisfied he's greeted you properly, he's still radiating a warmth that cuts through the decorum you thought was still necessary to use with him more than anyone else in the family. It might be the reason he's so eager to thaw it out immediately. He can recognize in that instant your nerves from being away for so long are the cause.

But there's no reason to be formal. You're still the same girl who cried trying to save the insect you're lovingly nicknamed after during a thunderstorm. You've detested the bleak weather ever since, and sometimes the term of endearment too, and he knows that.

He knows so many things about you, more than you want to admit.

"C'mon kiddos, the food's getting cold!" Jake's dad calls from inside the house, and Jake immediately takes the cue to jog inside, leaving you standing there, slightly damp and confused.

He turns back at the archway of the glass doors, a smile framing his face. You turn just as he asks, "You coming?"

This break may be harder than you expected it to be.

You throw stones from the garden floor and across the lush field in front of you, tears streaming down your face as the sun blares above. It's too bright today for how terrible your heartbreak feels.

Almost 500 miles between two universities was enough for Taeyong to call it quits. As if a year of dating didn't matter in that instant when your ex had to come face to face with the unknown. You were willing to brave it, to see if your love could survive long-distance, but he obviously wasn't. "Be realistic," he said a few hours ago, feigning false pain.

You couldn't bear to stay in your own house, your parents' judgemental eyes staring you down in a way that made you keep all your anguish inside. A trip over the fence to the Sim house wasn't a tough feat when everything else felt insurmountable.

And there you are, sitting near Jamie's mother's prize roses and hating everything they represent. Love, passion, desire. It's all for show; none of it is true when the harsh realities come around the corner. Taeyong and your parents proved that.

Out of the blue, Jaeyun appears in soccer attire not meant for JV players. You hide your face from him in that second, trying to avoid the mirage of questions he'll throw at you if he sees your red-rimmed eyes. "Climbed over again, huh?" he asks, a joke you can't take interjected in his voice.

You nod, shoulders steeled and windpipe tight. "Didn't feel like staying home right now. Gonna tell me to go back?"

Jake raises his arms in defense. "No, I mean—I don't mind. Would've seen you later, anyway." He moves to sit next to you, crossing his legs in the dirt and splaying his arms behind his back.

"You're home late," you realize. The sunset brews under the clouds, seven o'clock a few minutes away.

Jake chuckles again, the sound light and unbelieving. "I was actually trying out for varsity," he confesses. "I got it."

You wipe your subsequent tears away, focusing on your friend and his achievement. He's always wanted to play with the bigger guys at school, and you won't let such success go understated. "That's amazing! Does Jamie know yet?"

He shakes his head, blushing suddenly. "You're the first person I've told."

"Wow," you say. "Sim Jaeyun, soccer prodigy, letting me be the first to know? I'm honored."

He knocks your shoulder with his own, saying nothing verbally. His smile says enough. "Gonna tell me what's bothering you now?"

You sigh, the sadness bubbling back up. "Taeyong dumped me. Said going to schools so far away from each other is too much to handle." You throw another rock, anger suddenly replacing the misery you walked into the garden with. "Fuck him."

"Yeah. He doesn't know a good thing when he has it." Jake says it like he's afraid it'll mean more than what it does on the surface, his voice low and tentative. Is it out of his depth to say something like that to you, his older sister's best friend? He doesn't know, but it felt right to say.

You laugh sadly and run your fingers through the grass. "I just gotta move forward. Spend the summer focused on me, you know?"

Jake nods and knocks his shoulder into yours once again. "Come on, let's take a dip in the pool. It always makes you feel better." He motions to the house behind him. "Go borrow one of Jamie's swimsuits, yeah?"

You grin at his suggestion. He always makes the worst times better somehow, a ray of sunshine that isn't blinding to the eye. It's welcoming and soothing, a salve on a day you thought was hopeless. "Sure."

As you head upstairs, Jake's mom smiling at you both as you run past the kitchen, you think about the way you can float with all of them rather than sink.

The memory washes over you as you stare at the same patch of grass from that day, reminiscent with a smile on your face, thankful nobody can see it under the cover of night.

"Earth to my best friend! There's tequila that's going to waste over here," Jamie says as she hands you another shot. She's careful to avoid dropping it into the pool thanks to the mirage of garden lights around your spot. The both of you sit on the edge with your toes in the water, teasing the idea of slipping in with the two boys already wading around in the water. "Chungha ghosted me and I need your unwavering support right now."

"It'll never go to waste on you, JJ," Heeseung, Jake's best friend, flirts with Jamie as he floats past you both. "And whoever that girl is is clearly a dipshit."

Lee Heeseung stayed local for his college experience, but he's always remained close to Jake and the Sim family in the same way you have, except he and Jake grew up together from primary school and on. And as far as Jamie goes, he'll be damned if he stops trying to get her to take a chance on him one day, despite every rejection she's delivered with a loving middle finger in his face.

Jamie kicks some water at him before downing another few ounces of liquor. "Thank you but if that's another covert shooting of your shot, no thanks, pal."

Heeseung scoffs playfully as you giggle. "Anyway, since we have an appropriate beverage for it…" he says just in time for Jake to swim over from his usual corner near the hot tub. "Let's play Never Have I Ever, shall we?"

You all roll your eyes, but you don't object. Anything to ramp up the chill session by the pool; your spring break is already too lackadaisical at this point.

"Never have I ever stolen candy from Jungwon's parents' convenience store."

All of you take the shots with ease. The poor kid always knew when you and Jamie were bagging an extra candy bar in your purse or pockets, but batting your eyelashes in his direction was enough for him to look the other way. "Boys," Jamie said once, "are too predictable."

Jake begins his turn with, "Never have I ever used my parent's car without them knowing," as he pours drinks for everyone, only for Jamie to sip hers in that instant.

She raises a hand to speak her mind, and you giggle into your shot, downing it in time before the liquid can trickle down your chin. "In my defense, Mom decided to change her mind at the last second. I just stuck to the original promise she made." She turns to you. "When did you hijack yours?"

"One time when I wanted to go to Taeyong's house. I was back the next morning before they could realize it was gone."

"Asshole," Jamie and Jake mutter simultaneously, to which Jamie poses the question to her brother, "What would you know about him besides his stats, dipshit? And you're the one who played on the same team as him, like a traitor."

"Not at the same time!" Jake yells, offended. "Besides, even if we did, I would've never passed the ball to that douchebag."

Heeseung chuckles. The sound holds some type of knowledge neither you nor Jamie are privy to, but Jake looks at his friend with a death stare. You want to dissect the interaction further, but you guys pass over questions and drinks quickly after that. The tequila blurs your inhibitions as you fall into more teasing banter and laughter. Finally, your trip is getting fun.

"Alright, my turn again," Heeseung says. He pours another set of shots before he declares, "Never have I ever had a crush on someone in this circle."

The posed statement sinks into your gut like a stone; any chance of excitement for the night is gone. Your buzz disappears as soon as the last word falls from Heeseung's lips.

He immediately gulps down his drink, smiling the whole time. "Oh shoot," he says with his devious smirk pointed in Jamie's direction. "Sorry, love."

"Still never gonna happen, pipsqueak," Jamie responds with a slur, the edges of her statement warbled by the alcohol.

What you don't expect is for Jake to take his shot at the same time you do. You both stare at each other over the rims of the tiny glasses. Your faces turn crimson, a mutual understanding passing by in a flash.

Never in your dreams did you expect Jake would also harbor a crush on you. It's been years for you, so long ago you forgot the shape of it until you were in his presence again. But the revelation he also held those emotions at some point makes the stone in your chest strengthen in size, the new information befuddling you.

When did it start? Was it around the same time as you? Does he still feel that way? You ruminate on the quick questions for only a second, knowing none of the answers matter. Jamie would've never allowed it anyway, and still wouldn't. And she's more important.

A pregnant pause lies between you and Jake, even as Heeseung sputters out a shocked laugh and Jamie drinks another shot just for fun.

"Oh damn," he says, "guess we're learning a lot about each other tonight, huh?"

"Shut up, Hee," Jake mutters. He slams the empty glass down near your thigh, and the sudden brush of his hand as he pulls back makes you tingle.

It's from the tequila, you tell yourself with bated breath. Nothing else, nothing at all.

"Yeah, shut up! 's a stupid game anyway," Jamie explains as she stands up. Her body buckles with the equilibrium change, and Jake immediately jumps from the pool to help her regain her balance. "I'm fine, Ikeu!"

That's the tell. She never uses her childhood nickname for Jake unless she's drunk. You smile to yourself and stand up as well, using the sobriety Jamie doesn't have now to help her brother.

Heeseung remains in the pool as you and Jake take Jamie upstairs to sleep it off, wading around again like a baby who hasn't upended all of their bathwater. Your best friend insists she's fine on the trek upstairs, but the way she leans into you both says otherwise.

Jake tucks the bedsheets to her chin, handling her as she thrashes around with a sequence of grumbles spilling from her lips. "Ikeu, let me go to sleep," Jamie mumbles. You laugh to yourself at the state of your best friend as she babbles nonsense. She'll be mopey and hungover tomorrow, but you'll handle that when it comes.

You close the door to her room behind you, shaking your head. "She's gonna act like a kicked puppy in the morning, I know it."

Jake laughs. "And yet she still insists she's not a lightweight. Or, at the very least, a mid-weight with how much of that bottle she drank."

You agree, nodding with a smile. Silence rushes in, the uncertainty of what to say next sitting between you both like a piece of glass you're terrified to break. Do you mention what happened just a few minutes ago in the pool, or let it go? And, more importantly, what does Jake want to do?

Jake coughs quietly, his cheeks flushed. "I should get back to Heeseung. Make sure his drunk ass doesn't drown."

You nod again, bashful. "Yeah. I gotta wash off all this chlorine, anyway."

As you both go to walk in separate directions, you heading to your room and Jake going back downstairs, your fingertips brush. It's the smallest movement, inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, but the spark that was ignited when he touched your thigh comes back, as all-consuming as it was then.

"See you tomorrow," Jake says over his shoulder, not turning back as he walks down the first few steps, but you can tell he's smiling. Somehow, you always know. You reply with your own acknowledgement, heart hammering as you open and close your door.

That night, you dream of his hand in yours, the liquid courage giving you the right amount of boldness to tell him you want to keep holding it for as long as you can.

"You think you'll make it out of the storm in one piece?" you ask into your phone, walking around the guest room as you listen to Jamie's frustration over the quick food run now halted by the terrible weather. The supermarket bustle muffles Jamie's voice, her words practically passing through a tin can.

"Pretty sure, but the damn car is parked too far. My parents want to wait until it settles down rather than walk into a tsunami, as if I still don't have a headache kicking my ass." You picture her rubbing her temples while she talks, exasperated but with nobody to blame but herself for last night's escapades. "Be glad you don't have to experience their terrible fruit and vegetable puns right now."

You chuckle, flicking at the dust on the windowpane. "You act as if I don't know them all by heart."

Jamie laughs too, probably nodding in the middle of the store aisle like you're right by her side. She sighs when her mother calls her away. "Mom's looking at the funny birthday cards, probably wants to show me one to give Dad next month. I gotta go."

"Alright, see you soon!"

Minutes or hours pass by in a blur, the house quiet save for the rain that patters on the rooftop above. In the instant you throw your phone on the bed after another session of endless scrolling, Jake comes into view, lingering by the doorframe. His down-turned eyes point at his feet while a pout covers the lower half of his face. When he's like this, his disposition is akin to a kid caught with cookie crumbs at the edge of his mouth. "Was that Jamie earlier?"

Was he listening? How long had he been waiting to talk to you?

"Yep," you confirm. "Still stuck in the storm. Hopefully it passes quickly." You wrap your arms around yourself, suddenly chilly. The cold of the rain seeps into your skin like it knows you hate the frigid and unrelenting downpour. It plucks all your nerves to their highest frequencies. You think so, anyway.

It can't have anything to do with last night, or this moment being the first time you and Jake have talked since then. It's not like his admission changes anything between you, and your past emotions have no bearing on the present. Being awkward about it, despite your best intentions not to, solves nothing. Yet, you feel the prickle of your anxiety all the same.

Jake's eyes pinch at the corners. "Still freaked out by the weather?"

You shrug, hands clenching to your skin. "Yes and no."

Going back in your memory, you can barely recall the first time you experienced a thunderstorm as a kid outside of how it made you feel. Small, fragile, open to all the elements. It was bad enough life in your parent's home made you feel that way daily, but storms only amplified the insecurities.

That first time you experienced one in the Sim house, a ladybug glued to the glass doors downstairs as the outside world thrashed and rumbled, reminded you even the tiniest beings endure harsh conditions. And you did everything in your power that day to help ensure the creature's survival.

Maybe the nickname stuck because it fit you too well, and it hasn't gone away since for good reason.

Jake walks over, his face now tilted in your direction, and shucks his zip-up hoodie off to wrap around your shoulders. You start to speak, "You don't have to—"

"I want to," he replies, a scoff teetering on the edge in his voice. "Got a million more."

You nod, giving him a soft smile of gratitude. Stuffing your arms through the sleeves, you smell his scent on the fabric. It lingers like all the words you've stamped down. Bergamot and tangerine, with the faintest trace of sea salt.

"You're safe, ladybug." His words are so soft that the clap of thunder accompanying them almost drowns them out. But you think you could hear him even if the lightning came down right next to his face.

"I know," you say, knowing it's never been more true than right now. Yet, you feel something else resting underneath his words, an iceberg you can see past the top of. The sentence eases your mind, yet ramps up a different emotion entirely, one you haven't felt in a long time for him.

"Last night, I—"

"It's fine, Jaeyun," you insist. You shake off whatever he's about to say with a forced giggle. "We've changed. Sure, we both had little crushes on each other back then. It doesn't mean anything now."

"It doesn't?"

"I mean…why does it need to? It would be crazy, anyway. Like it could work now when it didn't then."

Jake's jaw ticks as he smiles, the action as artificial as your previous laugh. "Right. It would be crazy, wouldn't it? To think about you in that way still."

"Yeah, crazy." You don't realize he's stepped forward a few inches until you notice his body in sharper clarity. The long-sleeve Manchester United shirt with a tattered logo on the center, one of his favorites, and how it rises with every inhale and exhale. The shell necklace touching his collarbone, the one you made for him the summer before he started high school.

"So if I said I still feel the same way I did at sixteen—that it's hard not to every time I look at you—would that be crazy, too?"

Your brain becomes hollow, coherent thought and reasoning out of your reach.

The storm continues battering the house, but its strength compares little to the forces stirring in your heart. The desire to hold him close churns in your stomach like the strongest tornado known to man.

It's irrevocably wrong, so why does he still pull you in?

Jake reaches for you, hand pressing to the skin between your lower jaw and neck, and it feels too warm. It makes your body shiver, but he doesn't pull back. He just inches closer, so close his breath ghosts over your face.

His eyes speak with the pleas his mouth can't verbalize. Let me know if I should let you go now before I can't. Tell me to stop thinking about you, once and for all.

You don't stop him. Not when you take the last step to his lips, not when both of your eyes flutter closed, and not when you finally feel his mouth press to yours.

Jake tastes like cherry lip balm with traces of chlorine, a mixture that could not feel more perfect on your tongue. You want to drink it forever now that you've gotten a sip, both the act and sensation long overdue.

You move in sync. His hands find purchase on your hips as you wrap your hands around his neck, deepening the kiss. He grunts against your lips when your tongue presses to the seam of his mouth, and he lets you in eagerly. You've kissed many boys—and a handful of girls—in your life, but nothing compares to this, to Sim Jaeyun.

You're utterly fucked, the implications of your choice clear, but you don't care. It's too right to think of all the reasons it shouldn't be.

You both hear the front door below slam, the sound knocking you both away from each other like a bomb. Jake's eyes open, the irises lust-blown with a fire that mirrors the raging one in your stomach. You don't know what to say in time. The chance flickers by as the rest of the family makes it known they're back.

"Kiddos, we're home!" Jihyun calls from below. Jamie yells something about the traffic being a bitch, and both of her parents chide the profanity so loudly you and Jake chuckle discreetly.

His humor morphs back into raw vulnerability, and he kisses the spot between your eyebrows before whispering, "Meet me back here tonight, yeah? Wanna finish what we started."

You nod with a bitten lip, eager to know what he means as he exits the guest room and walks downstairs. Your heart is lurching, your palms are sweating, but you've never felt more giddy than this moment.

They should terrify you, all the consequences of your next moves that lay at your feet, but you're not scared at all. Not an ounce.

You tiptoe past Jamie's door, a smidge of regret glazing over your excitement about being alone with Jake again. Seven hours after he left you in the guest room, your need consumed you. It was all you thought about in that time flipping through magazines with Jamie and sitting next to her at dinnertime.

Your eyes couldn't help but pass over Jake's at the table when you caught him staring first. His parents were talking about cute memories of all of you, your middle school years specifically, yet your insides were on fire. You were a blaze of obscene proportions as he gazed at your figure.

Now, you're eager to see him, to have a repeat of the scene in the guest room, to know if there's more to the story that's currently unwritten.

Jake opens the door the second you raise your fist to knock on it. Your hand sits in mid-air as he stands there, a quiet smirk playing on his lips. "Thought you'd never show up."

He brings you in with a hand at your waist, and soon enough, he locks the door behind him to have both palms all over you. He tugs your lips between his teeth and kisses you like a starved man, the only salvation being your mouth and body.

Jake's an excellent kisser, holding the right amount of pressure with a level of tenderness in each touch that weakens your knees. He still smells like his lip balm, but there are traces of mouthwash this time, spearmint hitting your tongue as his muscle touches the roof of your mouth.

"I love how you taste," Jake says in between you like a confession. "I can't wait to have more of you."

You moan and squeeze his biceps between your fingers. "Nothing's stopping you, Jaeyun."

Jake tugs at your cotton shorts, wanting them off so much that he makes that want a reality. Your cotton underwear sticks to your legs, arousal drenching the insides of your thighs like another person hasn't turned you on this much solely from kissing. Maybe no one ever has, not like this. Maybe he's that good at this already, transforming you into a puddle for him alone.

Moving you to the edge of his bed, Jake makes the back of your knees knock into his comforter as he undoes his drawstring sweats and yanks his sweater up and over his head. You help him discard what you can, but you're too eager to reattach your lips to his. He can't blame you; he's caused the chasm that is your need, and he has to see it filled.

"You're beautiful, you know that right?" The question tumbles out of your mouth before you can stop it, and Jake just runs his hand across your face lovingly and smiles.

"Let's not talk about who's the beautiful one here, yeah?"

He crawls atop of you, the only clothes left on both of you being his underwear and your undergarments, and it's anyone's guess if he'll take them off of you soon or will tease you to the very end. Jake sees the wet ruins of your panties and a cheshire-like grin spreads on his face. "I think I could make you come just like this with the way you're drenching my sheets, baby."

You quirk an eyebrow and rut your hips into his, your underwear brushing the outline of his pulsing cock. You can almost feel the spot that's damp on his own briefs through the fabric of your panties, positive he is also ready to be relieved of his own pent-up desires. "I could say the same to you, Jakey."

Jake grunts at the nickname, one only few people have ever used, and captures your mouth with his again. He rubs his core into yours with hard, languid strokes. Your wetness melds with the hardness of his bulge with each meeting of your hips. You run your nails down his back to prove how good it feels, even if it's just the two of you rutting against each other's clothes. It's carnal how hard and fast you both grind against each other. The two of you want nothing more than to come apart at each other's hands.

There's still the uncertainty there if it's too soon to take it to the last hurdle, with sex and your relationship, whatever that is, but that doesn't matter now. The need to have each other in any way you can drowns out the sound of your doubts and what tomorrow will bring. You can only focus on right now, the end of desire right on the horizon.

"I'm not gonna last much longer, sweetheart." Jake rubs his hands along your ribcage, fingers splayed under your breast. You grip him harder as he says the words, and he smirks as he pants. "Would you like that? Knowing you made me come untouched?"

"More than anything," you admit, his cock hitting your clit in just the right way that has you frothing at the mouth.

His tongue delves deeper into your mouth as he continues to thrust against you, precum smearing down the fabric of his underwear and making it his briefs as soaked as your panties. You're so close, the ridges of him rubbing the velvet walls of you through the materials of your underwear to make you see stars.

"That's it," he growls. "Come for me, baby. It's gonna feel so good."

Those words undo you in that second; the magic of them can't go understated. Your body shudders as you reach the peak and fall off of it in the same second. It's white hot and searing, and you let it take you down as you feel the orgasm seep into your toes.

"Come with me, Jaeyun, please?" you whisper when you have a hint of coherent thought left in you, yearning to see him unravel.

Just like his words crumbled you, yours break him. He whimpers a broken moan as he comes in his underwear, meeting his end with his massive load soaking through and dribbling down across his thighs. Your bodies' essences mix as you keep riding your highs out, and it feels too good to stop until you're too sensitive to continue.

You both sit there in a mess of sweat and cum, unsure how to address that you've both just done that together. It can't go back to the way things were before, the two of you always on a fault-line of teasing each other and living in half-measures around your emotions. How could you?

When he cleans up and lays down next to you, both of you clothed once again, you run your fingertips over the veins of his arm until you're at his shoulder blade. He watches you as your venture higher, and your face heats, suddenly bashful.

"I meant what I said earlier. You're so beautiful, it's incredibly distracting." You run your hand through the ends of Jake's sweaty hair.

"Is your form of pillow talk just compliments?" he jokes partially. "Because I could give you a dozen of those at any time."

"What's yours?" you ask, beaming at his admission.

"Besides doing that again?" You giggle at the reference until he cages you in his arms, his warmth bathing you in gold. "For starters, this."

You whisper about everything and nothing, Jake stopping occasionally to run his lips over the space of your forehead and the crown of your hair. You fall asleep that way in no time, pleased to be on the cusp of something beautiful beginning.

You don't expect to wake up to the sight of Jamie peering down at you, wide-eyed and lips in a firm line. During the night, Jake must have gone to use the bathroom and forgot to lock the door again, and you hadn't noticed.

The sight of her in front of you almost makes you forget you're still entangled with Jake like two vines, legs intertwined and your head nestled on his chest.

Jamie points to Jake's door with a trembling finger, deadly silent, before walking back out of his room.

"What the fuck?" are the first words out of Jamie's mouth. Her face grows darker in that instant, anger overtaking her. "What the actual fuck is the reason I found you up against him like that?"

"Jamie, you gotta relax, please."

"Oh, so I should relax after catching my best friend and little brother practically tonguing each other down?"

The way she emphasizes "little" could make you vomit. She acts like she witnessed you pressed up against the teenage version of him and not the adult he is now. You know she's overdramatic, but she can take it overboard too often; it's one of her fatal flaws to boot.

"Jamie, I swear it was nothing," you lie immediately. "We were just watching a movie after you passed out because we couldn't sleep, and then we must've fallen asleep together. That's all, okay?"

"You didn't do anything?" She looks over the clothes you walked into Jake's room wearing last night, not seeing anything she can speculate over, but still on edge from the scene she's just witnessed. "You swear?"

You nod without realizing. "I swear to God." Good thing you're not a religious person, or a higher power would most likely strike you down on the spot. But you'd do it again to spare Jamie of the fact you did more than your fair share of things with Jake last night.

She huffs, relieved but still agitated. "Okay. Well, just never let that happen again, please. I almost ran out of here ready to pluck my eyes from their sockets and bleach them."

You rub your arms protectively. "Would it be so bad if Jake and I did happen to like each other? See where—"

She puts a finger in between you, making a face like she will in fact vomit. "I was so ready to have Mom's hump-day pancakes and now I can't even think of drinking a glass of orange juice right now after hearing you even suggest that idea to me."

"Jamie, come on," you chide her.

"You come on! It would never work, Y/N. Be realistic!"

That's rich, you jest at her in your mind. "Why? Because he's related to you and I'm not?"

"That's the biggest reason, for sure, but you both are going to school hours away from each other and Jake is drowning in intramurals and labs half the time." She swats away her own words with manic hands. "Why are we even talking about this? It's not gonna happen ever!"

Your heart sinks, the stone that you held in your gut days ago back with a vengeance.

"Tell me you'll stop thinking about this, please."

You sigh and nod, keeping your arms crossed to guard yourself from the promise you've just made Jamie. Your best friend has clipped the beating wings of a promising future with Jake so unceremoniously, you're unsure what to do with that info now, or how you'll present the topic to Jake when he wakes up.

"You coming?" Jamie asks over her shoulder as she descends the staircase, and you're transported back to that first day you arrived at the house for the trip, Jake's mirrored words holding more hope than you realized back then. You follow behind as the seams of your heart rip the muscle in two, sadness seeping into your every pore with each step.

After you all clear your breakfasts from the table, Jamie's parents retreat to their room and Jamie takes her usual midday R&R nap. Jake steps behind you in the kitchen, the coast clear from prying eyes. Nobody's around to witness him cage you in by the sink, eager as he runs his hands up your sides. "You were gone this morning. Where'd you run off to?" he whispers into your ear, and you shiver from his proximity. You're both terrified and tantalized by what Jake does to your body by doing nothing substantial. Just the subtlest act unwinds you.

He makes it difficult to resist him, but you replay your discussion with Jamie from a few brief hours ago in your head. The act helps you solidify your promise in your heart like iron, no matter how much you want to melt into Jake's embrace and forget it all.

"We can't do this, Jaeyun."

"We're not doing anything…not yet."

The second Jake's lips brush your neck, you skitter away and drop your plate in the sink. If he keeps touching you, you'll crumble without another thought, so keeping him at an arm's length is the only option. "I mean it. Last night can't happen again."

"So what? It just meant nothing?" Jake laughs in disbelief, almost like he's waiting for the punchline of the joke you're making just to get a rise out of him.

You frown and bite the inside of your cheek. "I never said that."

"Then what are you saying right now?"

"I'm saying it won't work," you parrot Jamie's words to him, trying to find some objectivity there to stop feeling like you're chewing glass. "Where do you think we will go after this? Long-distance dating back and forth between two colleges? And that's if Jamie doesn't kill us before we get to that point."

"Is that what this is about?" Jake tries to step closer, but you back away in time. "Y/N, I'm not Taeyong. And you're more than just Jamie's best friend to me. I thought I proved that to you yesterday."

He did, in so many little ways that you barely see him like he's Jamie's little brother now. He's just Jake, solid and sweet and so within your reach right now. Yet you can't have him, the fallout from such a choice too catastrophic to verbalize.

"Jaeyun, we have to be realistic." The words feel like toxic waste on your tongue, the pain present under your skin but well-hidden behind your willpower. You can only pray he believes everything you've said up to this point, but a small part hopes he doesn't. That he'll see through it and brave the storm for the both of you.

Unfortunately, the former occurs as Jake's eyes go cold, his jaw sets into sharp lines and his hands go limp at his sides. "Realistic?"

"Yes."

He doesn't fight back or spew insults he's well within his rights to say to you. All he does is walk out of the kitchen with hard stomps. The silence is worse than any profane exclamation he could've thrown out, and that's when you know you've broken your own heart by breaking his.

Jake isn't yours, so why is it so torturous to watch him mingle with another girl, especially one he knows as well as he knows you?

Aria Song, a local veterinary technician and Jake's high school ex-girlfriend, haunts you like a phantom as she wades in the pool like she's always belonged there.

"Jaeyun, stop it!" You hear her squeal, and you want to dunk her head so deep in the water you forget she exists.

Layla tucks her head in your lap as you watch Jake and Aria through the glass doors. He's swimming around his ex-girlfriend's pool lounger like he has no cares in the world. She kicks water at him with her toned legs and a wide grin on her face.

She may be nice enough for Jake to have remained friendly with her since their high school days, but you've not liked her one bit since they broke up and neither has Jamie. But Aria's solid proof to Jamie that you're not chasing after her brother, and therefore she's content to relax by the pool outside and suffer through the younger folks giggling and splashing each other like they're teenagers again.

You couldn't, not without your heart cracking even more than it already has. You thought feigning a stomach bug and deciding to rot on the couch was the best second option, but it only meant you had a semi-adequate front-row seat to Jake's little show that's been going on all afternoon.

He glances at you now and then beyond the panes of glass like he knows you're judging. Like he wants you to be envious of Aria's position.

The worst part is that you are; you're sick with jealousy to the point it's creating bile in the back of your throat. The green monster inside of you rears its head with gnashing teeth and cruel thoughts, and you don't stop it from growing in size.

She's younger, prettier, not intricately tied to his older sister the way you are. It's so much easier for him to not bother with you, to pick a safer option that isn't riddled with roadblocks. And he's clear he's chosen from the way he fawns over his guest with intense eyes.

Layla nuzzles your side as you grimace, stopping you from attempting to burn a hole in the pool attendees' heads with your stare. "I'm being ridiculous aren't I, girly girl?"

You take the tilt of Layla's head as confirmation you're acting crazy. You're about to take your blanket and pillow back up to the guest room when Jake walks into the house, body sopping wet and creating tiny puddles on the tile.

"You're gonna have to mop up the floor," you say to break the ice, despite being irritated with him for consorting with a perceived enemy.

Jake only nods and moves to the kitchen without another look in your direction, grabbing two water bottles from the fridge and then slamming it shut.

Before he leaves, he walks over and presses one of the plastic bottles in your palm, fingertips brushing yours. "Hydration will help with the stomachache."

With that, he leaves out the back door. Now, you're more confused than annoyed. What does it mean, one minute unable to speak to you and then caring for your wellbeing the next? It's a cacophony of whiplash, for sure.

You hear a cough behind you that takes you out of your ruminations, and you see Jihyun smiling at you before entering the living room, rubbing behind Layla's ears. "Ladybug, you two are something else."

You shake your head and pop open the water to gulp down. When you've taken a hefty sip, you say, "We're nothing Mrs. Sim. We made that clear already."

"Please don't call me that, honey. Mrs. Sim is my mother-in-law and you know that."

You chuckle. "Like I said, it's nothing to worry about."

Jihyun raises her hands and shakes her head. "I didn't say you were anything…" She walks closer and sets a hand on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "But if you were, this family would be more than better off with you in it. Whether or not some of us see that right now, it's true."

Before you can ask her what she means, she saunters back towards her bedroom with Layla following in tow; your brain imprints her knowing grin to memory.

The Sims can be incredibly cryptic when they want to be.

Aria spends dinner with all of you, and Jake even invites Heeseung over to liven up the mood that you and Jamie sour by remaining quiet. You can't help it; Aria is too bold, too bright, too everything you can't give Jake right now.

You spend that night with the family stoic and deadpan, only conversing with everyone in small sentences. You barely say goodbye to Aria and Heeseung when they take their leave, nodding at her once and not again as she walks out. Jamie notices the tension in your body, but you don't want to talk. You don't give her the time to ask. You just walk into the guest room without another word and hide away, hoping to finish the rest of the trip with no more issues. Your best friend might call you a buzzkill, but it's better than going against her wishes.

Another hour rolls by, and when you're on the verge of sleeping, Jake barrels into your room without closing the door.

"Do you care at all?" Jake huffs out, chest rising and falling fast. He tries to remain quiet out of your fear he'll wake Jamie in the next room, but you can tell from the tone in his voice that he's breaking his own resolve.

You rise from your bed and quickly shut the door, confusion overtaking you. "What are—"

"I spent all of this morning ready to burn under the sun without SPF trying to prove a point because you wanted me to be realistic, and you said nothing. All day and since the second Aria came by, you've had this terrible pout on your face. What do you want from me?"

You know exactly what you want. Maybe it's better to let it out now and give Jake some clarity, even if it'll kill him on the inside like it's doing to you.

"I want you to be happy," you say, "but I realized pretty quickly I want that happiness to be with me." You raise your arms weakly, tears threatening to spill over. "But I can't. Jamie is too important, and she's made it perfectly clear she thinks this would be too weird for her."

"What do you think?" Jake steps forward, hair tickling your face from how close he is to your body. That charge between you reignites; the current that's kept you inextricably linked hums like a live wire once again. "What do you want?"

You sigh, taking a deep breath, unable to swallow another unspoken word. "I want you. Of course I want you."

Jake smirks softly and captures his hand in yours, fingers intertwining. "Then have me. Have me in whatever way you want, as long as I get to have you back."

The time between Jake's last words and now, the two of you in a tangle of clothes, feels like a lifetime. The previous time you were intimate like this is nothing compared to right now. Where that was frantic and fast-paced with undergarments stuck to sweaty, sexually charged skin, this is slow and reverent. Jake undresses you like he's afraid you'll take back what you said and did just an hour ago. As if you could ever.

There's no way you can change your mind now; his charms have unknotted all of your left brain's logic.

He kisses your neck and collarbones with tenderness. He leans down to kiss the tops of both of your naked breasts, and it's like he's striking the match that will burn you alive.

You want to savor the moment like he clearly is, but it's too much and not enough, two sides of the same coin. You arch into him on his bed, your legs intertwining with his. "Jaeyun, if you don't do something right now, I will combust."

Jake chuckles and sucks one of your nipples in his mouth the second after you command him, biting and teasing the bud with his teeth, and your body bows even harder off of his sheets. The pleasure builds like a wave, and he's barely done anything.

Hedonistically, he slides his fingers down to your aching clit. Essence gathers between his fingers as he runs his hand across your folds eagerly. "You're dripping," he mumbles, his lips resting a breath from yours. "So warm and wet."

You moan and ride his fingers, his figure-eights on your swollen bud building you up further.

"I want to make you come, more than anything," Jake starts before kissing your lips between every other word. "But I want to feel you around me when you do it."

His naked body slots against yours when he moves in closer. His biceps, thighs, cock, and fingertips cling to you like it's your own skin, but it's only a fraction of how close you want him to be.

You've spent so long hiding in the shadows and denying your feelings for him, and now that you have him, you need to cherish every millisecond of time before you're forced back into that corner of the world he didn't occupy.

You clench around nothing, your walls fluttering from the way Jake's tip slides against your clit agonizingly slow. He watches it all, how you writhe and beg with your body, and he adores it.

"So beautiful." The resounding breathless chuckle on his tongue could be as loud as a gunshot with the way it rings in your ears. "If I knew how pretty you'd look like this," he starts, "I'd have made you mine a long time ago."

You gasp as his thumb replaces the head of his cock on your clit, rubbing small but intentional circles there. "Do you want me to be?" you ask, dazed.

In that second between your question and his response, he slides the entirety of his cock into you until he bottoms out, pelvic bones meeting like hands in prayer. "What do you think?"

You want to pinch yourself in this moment, ensure yourself it's real as he moves. He holds the back of your neck with one hand as he leans down to press his lips to yours. His hips give a sharp thrust that has you moaning into his mouth. You find purchase on his naked skin, running your palms along the lines of his shoulder blades down to the smooth planes of his hips.

This can't be another dream, can it?

"You're perfect," you gasp as he thrusts again. "How are you real?"

Jake smiles down at you, mystified by the question being asked by you and not him. He takes one of your hands in his to press to his chest. You hear the frantic tempo of his heartbeat, the sound a messy drumbeat that makes your own heart clench. "Is that real enough?"

It was never supposed to be like this, you and him. But it's too beautiful for the most extravagant words, thoughts, or feelings to describe.

"More than enough," you say with a breathless giggle. You pull him down for another kiss, tangling your fingers in the ends of his hair.

It's holy how much he cherishes you and the experience of having you. He doesn't press too hard or take too much, giving as well as he gets it. When you bite down on his neck, leaving a mark that for sure will bruise soon, he runs his fingers along your burning clit, running lovingly tight circles there to prove he enjoys your possessive acts. When you tell him how good it feels, he moves faster and deeper, returning your praise with more pleasure.

"It feels so good, baby. You're like heaven around me," he swears. "Tell me how it is for you."

No coherent words come to mind, but you settle on, "So fucking good, Yunnie. More than that even." The words sound jumbled off of your tongue, and he smirks from how fucked you already are on his cock. But the smile isn't condescending or smug, just teasing in the most loving way.

He's safe and open and yours, and you can't fathom how you've become so lucky to receive the chance to be his in return.

You suck him in eagerly as you near your release, biting down on his shoulder to muffle the screams you can't release into the air. Not unless you want to wake up the entire house.

"I know you're close," Jake grunts. His hand comes up to the headboard for leverage as he slams into you harder, his other hand stroking your clit with more pressure. "Come around me, baby. Show me what it's like when you let go."

You show him with all your might when you shatter into the millions of pieces he's created of you with his passion. Your eyes scrunch shut as your mouth falls open, jaw slacking from the pleasure that overloads your entire being. Body limp and face buried in Jake's pecs, you think about all the times you've spent in secret, wanting and wishing for him, whether or not you knew it.

Now, you know too well the way he envelops your soul, and you never want to stop knowing him like this.

Jake comes undone soon after, warmth flooding your body with his release as he moans in your ear about how beautiful you are alongside a barrage of curses. "Holy shit, I'm still coming," he swears, another minute spent with his body thrusting up into yours to release what's left of his cum into you. You could spend forever here, you think, wrapped up in each other and this man who is now yours lost in ecstasy.

Jake finally pulls out when he's exhausted all of his energy, and beads of pearly white cum drip out of you from the separation. You don't clean it up, and neither does he. You're both too spent and satiated to care.

"Hi," you croak, head resting on Jake's shoulder when he gets comfortable in his bed and pulls the covers over you. You're tucked up to your chin, protected but still vulnerable in the aftermath of your orgasm.

Jake grins and tucks a stray sweaty hair from your face. "Hi to you too, beautiful."

When he continues to stroke your hair like it's the most precious thing he's ever touched, you think all the consequences in the world are worth this. You believe, without a doubt, that every price you'll pay for his affection is worthwhile.

"You and Jake."

Jamie says the three words like they don't belong in the same sentence. She sits on the dining chair across from you and Jake, both your hands interlocked in front of her like you're her parents sitting down to reprimand her. But it's the other way around, clearly.

Today, she probably expected to find you both making breakfast again, like it was a normal day through and through. Even when you told her you both needed to speak to her, she trotted over to the dining table like nothing was wrong. And nothing was wrong in your eyes, but you knew Jamie's opinion would change the second you told her the truth.

"Yes."

"Dating?"

"Yes." It feels so good to say. You bite back the smile that threatens to tug your lips up. You should feel guilty for betraying Jamie the way you have, going against her word so shamefully, but you can't. It's not a sin you've committed, or a traitorous act that can't be forgiven.

Jamie slaps her hands against her knees, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. "So, the talk we had meant nothing, clearly."

"It did, J. I just—"

"Wait, what talk?" Jake squeezes your palm once, showing his concern that you didn't tell him about whatever Jamie is referencing.

"That day before breakfast. She found me the morning after she went grocery shopping with your parents…and I said I'd stay away from you because she asked me to."

"You never told me that," Jake responds sadly. The blush creeping up his neck shows how embarrassed he must be by his actions afterward. You don't blame him for a second of it, though. It all worked out, anyway.

Your best friend huffs, prepared to vomit. "Don't talk to her like you know her."

"I do, Jamie." His tone drops, the soothing aura he had for you replaced with irritated admonishment of his older sister. You can tell he's exasperated from her judgement already. You squeeze his palm back to ask him silently to loosen up, and he unclenches his jaw to prove he's listening to you. He always seems to know what to do to make sure he is.

It's not love yet, but you're so close, it hurts.

"Please stop acting like you're the only one who does," Jake says finally.

"Really? Did you hold her hand the first time she got her period? Or when her and that douche boyfriend in sophomore year broke up with her right before Valentine's Day? Oh, let's not forget how she stole me a pack of Plan B during our senior trip to Spain."

"Jamie!" you shout, face turning red. "What the fuck?"

Jake just laughs sadly. "You may think you have a leg up on me, and that could be true. I don't have the history you both do. But I've cared about her for so long, longer than you may think." He sighs and turns to look at you, a small smile shared between you both as he strokes your skin with his thumb. "If you have to hate me or us for the way we feel, so be it."

"Stop acting like you're the mature one here!" Jamie shrieks. "Do you not understand how fucked this is?"

"You're the only one who thinks that way," you cut in. "You're making it more of a big deal than it has to be when we're all grown adults."

The scrape of her chair and stomp of her feet towards the backyard's glass door signifies your betrayal in her eyes. And the slam of the door against its metal lining exemplifies her burning rage. She would've yelled if not for her parents sleeping soundly upstairs, you know it.

You follow quickly behind, letting go of Jake's hand to run out to the backyard and follow her, passing Layla on the way to the door. Jake knows not to follow, and you appreciate him all the more for it. The end of the conversation lies between you and Jamie now.

You find her sitting with her knees tucked to her chest, overlooking the backyard fence and facing away from the pool. You cautiously sit down next to her, and she doesn't bristle or immediately scoot away. She's just quiet, unsure, and somehow that feels worse than her exploding at you right now.

"You know I love you, right?" you begin with that question because it feels the most apt. If she truly knew what you were risking, she wouldn't take your feelings or her brother's in this way, like it's a game both of you are playing with blind eyes.

She nods, silent and staring down at the surrounding grass.

"I really like him, Jamie." Your voice, as well as your eyes, flood with tears. It cracks on the sounds her name creates, and that makes her own eyes well up too.

"I never said you didn't."

"But you act like it's some fling. It kills me to see you hurt, but I can't put how I feel on hold anymore and neither can he." The words are both a relief to your own pain and an ache in your chest. Jamie's never been unable to feel the way she does, and you've never stopped her from doing so. But it's never been about her.

"I just don't want to lose you if it ends badly," Jamie confesses. She finally turns her gaze on you, irises glassy and the white of her eyes becoming red. "I can't."

You laugh sadly and pull her in close, shocked she could think such a thing. It gives way to understanding the fears Jamie has that're hidden beneath all the bluster. "That's never gonna happen, J, I promise. And I wouldn't be doing this if I thought your brother wasn't worth it."

Those two words—your brother—cause her to fake a gag. "Did it really have to be him, though? He doesn't brush his teeth until after breakfast, you know this."

You both share a chuckle, heads knocking into each other's and knees touching like nothing has changed. 

In a way, it doesn’t have to. With the silence, you feel her anger ebb away, replaced with a resigned acceptance that she can't change this; it's too late, and she'll have to go with it even if she's against it.

But some things will never change. You're still best friends, and you’ll always have each other, despite being Jake’s significant other now and her being his sister. They’re not mutually exclusive, and that’s okay. Above all else, you’ll be the one person she can turn to forever, and vice versa. That's how it's always supposed to be and will be.

"Josh finally wised up, thank God. He'll be coming to the house in a few days to meet my folks, so you and my brother better be on your best behavior!" Jamie waggles a finger in your direction as she drives further down the road to the university. She doesn't look at you directly, but the instruction is clear, for you and your boyfriend to be nice to her new flavor of the week, and it makes it that much more hilarious.

"Aren't we always?" You wiggle your eyebrows despite her not seeing, and her finger becomes a full-fledged hand in your face. You giggle, taking that hand in yours. "How much longer?"

"Ten minutes, you freak. You act like the last time you saw him was a thousand years ago."

It's been a month and two days since you've been in the same space as Jake, but who's counting? You fell asleep on the phone together last night, so it wasn't as though you went without him for too long, but physical cohabitation was another thing entirely.

Happy didn't explain the emotion you felt when Jamie recommended picking Jake up from school on the way to her parent's, even if it added an hour and a half to the drive. She knew as well as you did how much you missed him. That didn't stop her from teasing you about it incessantly, though.

You shrug and put her hand back in her lap, not denying her exaggeration. Your heart thrums harder with every minute that counts down to your arrival.

Jake's dorm hall appears through the thicket of trees. Small pockets of students walk out of the building holding beach bags and other luggage to take to their cars. Finally, emerging from the sea of people, Jake appears. His mess of floppy hair you'd recognize anywhere, the locks almost falling to his shoulders. He dons a long-sleeved shirt that hides every beautiful line of the body you know so well by now, and you think he hasn't changed at all. Still beautiful, still yours.

You barely wait for the car to stop before you get out. Your feet carry you with the speed of a thousand strikes of lightning. Unbothered by the way your ankles and thighs burn as you run faster, all that matters is the smile that widens on your boyfriend's face when he sees you.

Jake catches you in his arms after you leap into them. Your legs immediately wrap around his waist and squeeze his lower half. The Sim house used to be one of the few places you found solace, but it's just not true anymore. Now, it's in Jake too, his love the greatest peace you've ever known.

Jake plants kisses all over the crown of your head before meeting your lips, the taste of spearmint gum coating your tongue. You giggle mid-liplock, and Jake smiles brightly down at you. "Hi."

"Hi," you respond before pressing your mouth to his again.

"Okay, horndogs! We need to leave soon before all that braised pork goes to waste!" You both separate and turn to see Jamie with her arms crossed and a close-lipped smile on her face. She's not angry or put off by the sight before her, her best friend and little brother entangled like vines. If anything, the spark in her eyes is all for show, her happiness hidden under the surface, even with the added snarky commentary.

You used to think that there were two certainties in the world. But now, they're accompanied by another truth.

No matter how many trials and tribulations you go through, Jamie will always be your best friend. Your best friend often gets what she wants—although she couldn't stop you from falling for her brother. And you are head over heels for Sim Jaeyun, forever and always.

── .✦ 𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧 (𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗟𝗬 𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘):

@lovetaroandtaemin @filmnings @innocygnet @jaylaxies @xylatox @xomakara @gyubookeries @tinycatharsis @prkhaven @hannieoftheyear @frenchkisstheabyss @lovenha7 @wonberries @lyks02 @seokjinthescientist @icatpjs @kristynaaah @ikeuheartz @enhaslxt @jakeznii @heebear @immelissaaa @riqomi @universallyllamatimetravel @enhxlvr @jakesaverse @omglivss

© 𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗨𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦; 𝖣𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝖼𝗈𝗉𝗒, 𝗋𝖾𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍, 𝗍𝗋𝖺𝗇𝗌𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖾, 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗀𝗂𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗓𝖾, 𝗈𝗋 𝗆𝗈𝖽𝗂𝖿𝗒 𝗆𝗒 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄 𝗂𝗇 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝗐𝖺𝗒 𝗈𝗇 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗆𝗌!

[ilibelle]

Imagine that your uniform is made up of several layers of different types of fabric and bulletproof shields. In addition to the extra fabric, you wear a mask and helmet that cover your entire face. Your costume makes it impossible to identify whether you are a woman or a man, and to top it off, you never speak. This leads people who aren't part of your squad to believe that you're just a short man who never speaks.

You work for the squad led by Colonel König. Recently, there were some situations that resulted in Kortac temporarily joining Task Force 141, two squads united to capture a terrorist.

You are not and have never been a sociable person. You don't talk to people you don't know and you always let someone else do the talking for you. As much as you are an adult woman, mature enough to make decisions on your own, you are shy. Very shy.

It's not unusual for other people to ask your teammates about you, always wondering why you don't speak up. They ask about the many layers of fabric that make up your outfit, whether you don't suffocate from the excess cloth and pockets.

And these people always refer to you in the masculine.

Always.

Soap is a bit of a curiosity when it comes to mysterious people who don't interact much with others in the room and who just stand in a quiet corner, far away from any living thing in the room. No wonder he made Ghost his best friend.

So believe me when I say that he's intrigued by you. The mysterious, masked guy in the dark corner of the room, who so far hasn't interacted with anyone since he arrived. You've caught his attention, but he won't talk to you because something inside him tells him not to come up to you out of the blue.

Something inside him tells him to take it easy this time, because that something inside him thinks that the outside of that guy should be molded slowly to reveal the inside. Does that make sense?

The first person Soap will ask about you is König, because them strangely hit it off, much to the unhappiness of Ghost, who didn't like König. Perhaps it's because he's taller and has stolen the role of being the tallest in the room from Ghost.

And also because he saw König talking to you about something, but you didn't use your voice and just nodded. Which led him to think that maybe you were mute.

Soap approached König with a smile, bringing up some other subject before starting to ask questions about you. He doesn't want to sound weird.

"Hm... You know, I keep asking myself..." Soap begins, waiting for a signal to continue.

"What is it?" König asks, crossing his arms and smiling beneath his mask.

"That guy in the corner... Why doesn't he join the others?"

"Oh." König straightens his posture and looks at you, standing in the corner of the room and staring at an interesting spot on the floor. "She's a bit shy, don't worry."

The gears turned slowly in Soap's head after this information.

"IT'S A WOMAN?!!??!!!!?"

It wasn't Soap's intention to draw the attention of everyone in the room, Including you, to him and König. But it just happened.

Hello:)) it's my first time posting something written by me and my English is terrible, but I tried my best with a translator 😞

[rafesangelita]

♡ bitchy!pogue!reader brings a friend to tanneyhill..

warnings: sex work, threesome (m + f + f), face sitting, oral (f. receiving), unprotected sex, a little but of wlw

a/n: i’m really nervous about posting this fic in particular because it’s my first time writing smut with another woman so please give me some grace!

“how the fuck did you even discover this place?!” topper ran his hands through his hair, his jaw falling slack as his eyes danced around the room full of pretty girls prancing around in trashy lingerie and heels. ‘pink sugar’ was by far the most attended to strip joint on the cut— and it showed. as soon as any patron walked in, they were immediately hit with a whirlwind of cheap perfume, body glitter, and sparkly lipgloss. it was every man’s wet dream come true.. including rafe’s.

“life on figure eight gets stale after a while, bro. sometimes you just gotta expand a little bit, y’know?” topper nodded even though the words that rafe just said went in one ear and right out the other. the two of them took a seat in front of the main stage, a waitress wasting no time in getting their drink orders taken up to the front. while rafe had been here a handful of times, topper was like a kid in a candy store as he sat in awe.

meanwhile, you were getting ready in the locker room, both you and your best friend sticking rhinestones around each other’s eyes as you two waited to be called out by the dj for your turn to perform. “it better be a full house tonight.. i already have my eyes on these shoes, and there’s no way in hell i’m not getting them.” you cursed under your breath, running a pink comb through your hair to make sure everything looked perfect.

just as you adjusted the garter straps of your stockings, you heard your name being announced to the crowd outside. “good luck out there!” your bestie called out behind you, a giggle leaving your lips as you waved. even though you were more than familiar with the atmosphere already, you couldn’t help the thumping of your heart everytime you walked out from behind the curtains and felt the burning stares from the hungry men in the audience against your skin.

you smiled sweetly, the lights dimming just in time for you to lock eyes with two guys in the front. one looked laid back, his gaze raking down your figure as he drank from his glass, and the other looked like he couldn’t believe you were real. you knew right away he was a first timer by the way he leaned forward in his seat. pretending no one else was in the room, you started dancing, the floor already being littered with various dollar bills.

you tuned out the whistles and the hollering and focused on only the music, your set going by faster than you thought. with only one more song left on your list of requests, you stepped down from the stage, your hips swaying as you walked over to the two men you saw when you first came out. snaking your hands down the chest of the one with a buzz cut, you kneeled between his thighs before feeling him over his lap, his jaw clenching as he watched you intently.

rafe knew as soon as you looked up at him with something a little more than just lust in your eyes, he was going to have to take you away from here, your glossy lips shining underneath the neon lighting of the club. originally coming out to pre-game for the rager rafe was throwing tonight at tanneyhill, he figured he’d get the party going early with you looking so fucking pretty between his legs. he didn’t get to dwell on the sight for too long before you left him alone just as the song ended.

flashing him a wink, rafe watched you disappear backstage, the adam’s apple in his throat bobbing as he swallowed thickly. blinking out of his trance, rafe told topper he would be right back with more drinks before making his way over to the bar. “excuse me,” rafe motioned the bartender over, “do you know how i can talk to the girl that was just on stage?” he asked. “y/n? she usually comes out and converses with the crowd when she’s done with a set, she’ll be out here soon.”

quickly ordering three rounds of shots, rafe made his way back over to his seat only to see you and a friend of yours already over there laughing at something topper was saying. “—oh, here he is now..” topper laughed nervously, taking the tray of shots out of rafe’s hands as you two shared a look. “you talking about me?” his voice alone gave you butterflies, his tall form making you pull your bottom lip between your teeth.

“don’t worry he didn’t say anything bad..” kitty, your best friend, teased. rafe looked over at her, his eyes wandering down her own sexy get-up. fixing his gaze back on you, rafe leaned down to whisper in your ear. “do you do personal parties?” he all but groaned once he smelled your sugary sweet skin, the sound shooting straight down to your panties. “personal parties?” you repeated, “it’s gonna cost you.” rafe scoffed, not worried about the money.

“give me a number.” he placed a gentle hand on the small of your back, pulling you close. you and kitty side glanced one another, a smile gracing your lips as your nails snaked around the buckle of his belt. “what kind of party?” you asked, making sure you were aware of what you were getting yourself into before agreeing to anything. “i’m throwing a house party tonight on figure eight, all of my friends are big spenders.. just putting that out there.”

you thought it over for a moment, a small part of you feeling intimidated since you weren’t familar with figure eight, nor did you know anyone that lived on that side of the island. “ten thousand, and i get to bring my friend over here.” you nodded towards kitty who was already sitting in topper’s lap. “perfect. do you need a second to get your things? i can take both of you straight over there.” you hummed at his words, silently signaling kitty to meet you in the back.

she excused herself from topper, both of you walking closely with each other to the locker rooms. “so what are we doing?” she was quick to touch up her makeup, changing out of her dancing shoes and into some platform heels. “that guy out there is willing to give me ten thousand to go to a party he’s having on figure eight, but if you come with me we’ll split it, plus he said his friends were ‘big spenders’, so that’s five thousand each excluding tips.”

without having to say another word, kitty was immediately on board, both of you squealing excitedly before grabbing your purses from your lockers. following the guys out of the club, you allowed rafe to open the passenger door for you, topper and kitty filing in the back before rafe started up his truck. he put on his music loud enough for you to feel the bass in your chest, a mix of excitement and anticipation swirling in your tummy.

you didn’t know what you were expecting to pull up to, but a mansion as huge as rafe’s definitely wasn’t on your list of possibilities. there was cars already filling the streets, people lining the gates of the house as rafe parked in the driveway, his arms wrapping around your waist as he helped you get down from the truck. you and kitty waited for him to start letting people in before leading both of you through the front door, topper following closely behind.

“i just need you two to cater towards my people, alright? these guys don’t know what a good time really looks like and i want y’all to be the ones to show them, ‘sound good?” just as he was going to send you and kitty off to the living room, you stopped him. “we need to get paid before we do anything.” rafe glanced between you and your bestie and nodded. “of course, why don’t you two follow me upstairs and we can get that out of the way?”

doing as you were told, you and kitty both looked around the house as he lead both of you to the master bedroom. “it’s in here.” he welcomed you two in, doing a quick sweep of the hallway before locking the door behind him. taking a seat on the huge bed, you and kitty watched as rafe took a metal briefcase out of his closet and entered a pin for it to unlock. looking up, rafe admired both of you as kitty ran her fingers through your hair, a smile adorning your lips as she did so.

both of you were so unremarkably gorgeous, it was hard for him to count money as you two giggled with each other. while fixing one of the rhinestones on kitty’s face, she was staring at the body glitter on your cleavage, running a finger over the sparkly dust. “are you trying to cop a feel?” you teased, moving your hand to rest on her thigh. rafe’s jaw clenched at the sight. “maybe..” kitty laughed, both of you leaning into each other as your hands wandered further up underneath her skirt.

rafe cleared his throat, both of you snapping out of whatever this was. “this is the money right here,” he held up the stacks of cash for you two to see, “however, both of you seemed to have piqued my interest..” glancing at each other confusingly, you and kitty waited for rafe to explain. walking over to the chair that sat in the corner of the room, he took a seat. “take each other’s clothes off.” at this, you felt your heart starting to beat in your ears.

sharing a look, you and kitty had the same nervous expression written all over your faces. “for ten more grand, can you beautiful ladies let me watch?” you had to refrain from letting your jaw drop to the floor, your stomach flipping at the new offer. kitty scooted closer to you, her hand shielding her mouth as she whispered in your ear. “what do you think?” blinking, you stole a glance at the full brief case that sat on the hardwood desk against the wall.

“i think he can do better than ten thousand dollars..” you whispered back, your faces just mere inches away from each other’s. “make it fifteen.” you looked over at rafe, shrugging off your coat to reveal your outfit from earlier. “how about twenty?” kitty swore you could hear her heart beating out of her chest. “tell him it’s a deal.” she whispered, getting up from her spot on his bed. “we’ll do it.” with his cock already stirring in his pants, he leaned back in his seat as you and kitty pressed a soft kiss to each other’s lips.

stepping out of your heels, you snaked your fingers behind kitty’s top, her hands resting on the globes of your ass as you untied the strings to her sequined bra. you and kitty have been best friends for as long as you can remember, you two literally started dancing at pink sugar together, there was nothing that you two hadn’t seen of each other already. “are you okay?” she spoke low so rafe couldn’t hear. humming softly, you kissed her again, allowing her to slip off the lace material of your underwear.

rafe swallowed thickly, his eyes traveling over your naked figure. despite there being two of you, he found himself zeroed in on only yourself, your stare holding his as kitty kissed down your neck. “should we include him?” you whispered against her skin, running your palms down her side. “you like him, don’t you?” she giggled. you blinked slowly, refraining from smiling as you hummed quietly. “go get him.” rafe shifted his weight in his chair as you walked over, carefully straddling his lap.

“me and kitty want to share you..” you ran your hands over his chest before undoing the buttons of his shirt, the sight of his toned stomach encouraging you to do away with his belt next. rafe watched you as you palmed him through his pants, his tongue poking out to run over his bottom lip. taking his hand in yours, you helped him stand up on his feet before getting him out of his clothes and leading him to where you and kitty were.

laying him down, rafe looked at the two of you as each of you kneeled on either sides of him. “tell us what you want us to do.” kitty stroked his inner thigh while you took his cock in your hand, a strangled groan rumbling from his chest at your touch. his chest rose and fell while he took a moment to think. “i want kitty on my face and you on my cock.” he looked at you with hooded eyes, your head moving in kitty’s direction. “whatever you want, handsome.”

you and your best friend held hands as if to hold onto each other for leverage, her mouth falling open as rafe skillfully circled her entrance with his tongue, her hips moving smoothly so the tip of his nose was nudging her clit with every stroke. you on the other hand, could barely keep up with his thrusts as he stuffed you full, your moans bouncing off of his bedroom walls. “fuck, he feels so good.” you whimpered, nearly doubling over as he started thrusting from underneath you even harder.

kitty’s head hung low in defeat as she rode rafe’s face, her thighs trembling around his head as he licked and sucked at her soaked cunt. you clenched around him, squeezing him tightly as he groaned in response. kitty was speechless at the whole ordeal, her eyes rolling far back into her head as rafe held onto her thighs so she couldn’t get away from him. “oh, god—!” kitty gasped, her chest rising and falling as rafe pushed her over the edge, her hands dropping from yours in order to dig her nails into his skin.

rafe cursed when he felt the stinging sensation, your hips still moving as he loosened his grip on kitty’s thighs. he kept up his ministrations until your best friend got off of him with a squeal, overstimulation setting in as she laid next to him still going through the aftershocks of her orgasm. rafe licked his lips clean, wasting no time in sitting up against his headboard, his hands grabbing onto the globes of your ass so he could bounce you on top of him.

you buried your face in his chest, the scent of his cologne only adding to your cock drunk state. “you’re so fucking tight, holy shit—” he tugged on your earlobe with his teeth, your clit meeting his pubic bone as kitty took a seat behind you, her hands coming around to cup your tits as she moved your hair to one side of your shoulders to expose your neck. holding your head up, you shuddered when you felt her lips on your skin, her teeth nipping the sensitive flesh there.

you were a mess by the time rafe’s hips started bucking, kitty’s lips finding yours as you came with a cry, his moans echoing in your ears as he pulled you against his chest. you clenched around him as he came inside of you, his cum painting your insides as he panted. letting out a sigh, rafe thumbed your chin, both of you sharing a heated kiss before kitty got up and helped you slide off of him. “you okay?” she asked, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “yes, are you?” kitty nodded, both of you slipping back on your clothes.

rafe watched as you two cleaned yourselves up, his hand motioning towards the money. “it’s all there..” he trailed off, “kitty you think i can get a word alone with y/n here?” grabbing her stack, she nodded before going into the bathroom, leaving you and rafe alone together. “i want you to come back tomorrow, ‘spend the weekend with me.” you bit your lip, glancing over at the bathroom door. “i don’t know if kitty will be busy—”

“no, just you,” he cut you off, “i want you by yourself.”

thank you nonnie for celebrating with me ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

[carbonfiction]

Listen and learn

Summary: You should've known better than to push, to ignore Franks warnings. Expression stern, voice snipped, he'd repeatedly told you to listen. To quit it, just for a little while. So was it truly all your fault when you just wanted some of his attention?

Masterlist Words: 1.4k

Soooo, i basically couldn't stop thinking about him w that beard/haircut so this monstrosity was born. carbonfiction actually posting a fic??? She has risen babygirl!! Bone apple teeth, enjoy, n all that stuff..

Warnings: 18+ themes. Rough frank. Smut. moment w a vibrator. Unprotected piv sex (do not), rough sex themes, praise kink, fairly light degradation, swearing, hand over mouth and then neck for a moment, squirting and of course mentions of bodily fluids.. Gets kinda soft n sweet near the end.. I thinkkkk thats it?

You should've known better than to push, to ignore Franks warnings.

His expression stern and voice snipped as he'd repeatedly told you to quit; to calm down and let him finish up his task. All while rough hands worked on cleaning guns and sharpening knives that his eyes hadn't left all day.

So was it truly all your fault when you just wanted some of his attention?

Not exactly, technically speaking, but when you'd stormed off muttering something about taking care of it yourself.. Well, that had pushed a button.

The part when Frank heard the low buzz of your vibrator start up down the hall however, destroyed said button entirely.

The metal chair flung back from the momentum as he stood. Boot clad feet storming loudly down to the bedroom, door flying open with a careless slam. Franks broad figure practically glaring at the way you rest spread near bare on the bed. Vibrator still buzzing beneath the soft lace of your panties from the shock.

You knew you would be in for it, just perhaps foolishly not as bad.

Especially now as Frank's hips pummle into your backside, the clash of skin loud enough to know it'll leave marks. His body drapes over you, heavy and wide, teeth biting against the juncture of your neck adding to the already overwhelming sensations of the way he fucks into you.

"Though this was what you wanted huh?" he grunts, a large hand groping roughly at your tits. "beggin an whinin in my ear when I told you, when you knew, I was busy. Couldn’t fuckin wait could ya."

You try to respond, you really do, but the sound falls broken into the air. A mixture of a sob and a gasp all in one, an agreement in intention but pitiful at best. So much so it makes frank scoff behind you as that same hand once on your chest begins to back drift up, wrenching your jaw to the side.

Despite the near violent way your body bounces back against his you can still make him out in your periphery. The longer strands of his grown out hair messy, sweat beading at the ends that gather at his temple.

"Hell, Aint even said thank you, you know that? Give you what you wanted and suddenly all your manners are gone." Franks voice is as rough as the pounds of his hips as they change pace, now slow but brutally deep. "D’ i fuck em outta you already? That what’s going on?

A squeeze of his hand on your jaw realigns the attention you didn't even realise shifted. A particularly heavy hit of his hips making your eyes flutter, the tip of his cock thumping against your cervix. "N-no.. I- .. th-thank you F-frank" you manage, just about.

But for frank? For frank that's not good enough. Its a start sure.. But something important is missing. And he knows you know it; even if he is burried so deep you can barley think without tasting him.

"Getting everything handed to ya, a real spoiled fuckin princess these days ain’tcha. Shit, gettin dick when you want it, s' fuckin greedy." Frank near growls the words, pulling out his cock from your soaked walls and flipping you. Back hitting the mattress with an audible oomf as he parts your thighs again.

Franks hand slaps down against your inner thigh the same moment he slips back inside; the angle pushing your knees over his shoulders as he begins to move once more. A shrill squeak passing your lips.

"You answer me when I'm talkin to ya sweetheart" he commands, hand on your cheeks this time, squishing them just slightly, lips pouted. "Big girl words.. Or have those gone away too?"

It takes a moment of him staring your keening form down before you choke out an answer, babbled and high in pitch. His cock pounding at that little spot inside you could never quite reach yourself, the base rubbing just right against you with each harsh push and pull.

"M-mhm! S-so spoilt sir" you nod, head barley moving in the tightness of his grip. One of his hands grabbing at the discarded vibrator and placing it directly at your clit. It makes you squeal, the rumbling vibrations hot and intense as his thrusts send it jolting back and forth. It has your cunt pulsing around his cock intently, pleasure coiling in your belly quicker than you can realize. "S' so good- so dee-"

Your warning is broken off by a squeal, franks cock slipping free with an audible gush of liquid from between your legs, the sound only made more mortifying by the thoroughly debauched buzzing. The bed beneath you soaking, your thighs and franks abdomen shiney with slick as blood pounds loudly in your ears.

But it doesnt stop frank, doesnt make him let up the harsh rocks of his pelvis, as he drives himself back inside completly unphased. His thumb offers a small mercy as the vibration ceases, discarded once again. A dark grin forming on his face as he watches you squirm; half embarrassed and half overwhelmed. Brain fuzzy and gone.

"F-fuck, fuck frankie!" you sob, sensitivity weaving its way up your arching spine. "S' too much!"

"Naw, Too much? That right? S’ too much cock for that little cunt?" he coos the words so sinfully as your eyes peer helpless at him. Toes curling against his shoulder blades, your hands pittifully pushing at his biceps and chest to no avail. A scratchy kiss placed to your cheek as he leans down to tut. "Not- fuck- not sure I believe you with the way she’s been drooling on me"

"M-mhm! It is, swear! Too much- too good.." you moan pathetically and he scoffs, hand flattening over your mouth, palm pressing against your lips to muffle you.

"See, you hear that?" Franks body pushes against yours; thoroughly pinning you to the mattress with his weight as he makes you listen. The squelch of your pussy as his hips draw out filling the air; not to mention the following plap of his full balls swatting at you as he bully himself back into place. Tummy fluttering as embarrassment floods your face. "You hear how bad she fuckin needs me? Can feel ‘er pullin me in sweetheart so I know your lyin. Know you can take it"

Theres a flicker in his eyes as he stares you down, one that, even in your hazy state, you recognize well enough to be a check in. A silent conversation, a way of knowing if you need him to carry on or if things are really too much. Your head moves before you can even register it, nodding quickly for him to continue as your back arches.

"My fussy girl just needed attention ain’t that right" Frank grins, your hand guiding his from your mouth to rest at the column of your throat. The weight of his paw like palm a pleasant pressure as his hips grind into you. "Needed a hand on your neck, big cock pushin at your guts to make it better, empty that beautiful head. Just a shame you got bratty ‘stead of waitin like a big girl. Not some cock drunk lil prin-"

A babbled gasp of his name cuts him off, another orgasm crashing over your body so unexpectedly it brings tears to your eyes. The mix of Franks cock punching so deep and his hand on your neck overwhelming in the best possible way. Cunt tight as a vice around his cock as his expression shifts again, a gutteral growl falling free.

His movements slow, the weight of him still soaked and locked inside. "Shhh I know, I know sweetheart" he coos, all previous agitation suddenly melted away like the flick of a switch, the frank you recognize in bed taking over. His hand cups your jaw as he uses the other large arm to hold himself up. Gaze locked on yours. "Got me so fuckin deep in there, it still feel good sweet girl?"

You nod quickly, mouth dry and body still trembling. Unconscious twitches of muscles your only movement to indicate you havent become one with the mattress as you grin up at him ruined. "So.. So good frankie.." panted, raspy and addicted.

"Jus' a little more 'kay, nearly there baby" Frank presses the words to your forehead with his lips, hips grinding into yours. Your fingers hold him tight, crescent indents littering his skin, legs around his waist keeping him locked between them.

When frank hits his peak its done with his eyes locked onto yours, panted moans and keened whimpers filling the stuffy room. Declarations of love and praise shared in the hushed come down, bodied pressed so close you practically stick together, a combination of sweat, slick arousal and cum painting skin.

"Know exactly how to get whatcha want hey sweetheart?" Frank smirks, licking his lips as he finally slips free to drop beside you. It makes you grin, eyes flicking to his to find a playfulness rarely shown, a hand shoving at his form. He jostles just a fraction with a chuckle, ever the boy he was before everything happened when he comes down.

You both need to shower, the sheets absolutely need changing, but right now nothing else matters but this. Hands intertwined on his heaving chest, His full attention, yours once again.

Okay so i dont know how i feel about the flow of this one because i got a little burnt out in the process (no fault of the fic) buttttt she's done so thats all that matters. As always inbox is open annnd Lmk what you think <3

[jungwnies]

f1 grid | juno positions

୨ৎ : featuring : all drivers on the grid ୨ৎ : synopsis (requested by anon) : every driver and which juno position from sabrina carpenter's tour suits them >.>

୨ৎ : genre : suggestive... kinda smutty idk (i don't really write smut anymore so this is a rare one...) obv some are the same positions.. i couldn't sit through an 8 minute video of all the juno positions LMFAO ୨ৎ : tws : suggestive ୨ৎ : word count : 597

୨ৎ masterlist ୨ৎ

ᡣ𐭩 a/n : i couldn't help but post this so soon LMFAO it was such a fun request i couldn't leave it sitting there waiting to be queued ... too good ty anon <3

ʚ・red bull

max verstappen - standing doggy no time for nonsense, just efficient execution. aggressive, locked-in, and somehow still makes you feel completely taken care of. terrifyingly good at everything, including this.

yuki tsunoda - cowgirl tiny menace. gives full chaos and control. jokes around, then ruins you. he’s in charge, not you. don’t be fooled by the baby face.

ʚ・mercedes

george russell - legs up missionary textbook performance, but with precision and tenderness. prepped for this moment like it was a championship strategy. probably asks if you’re comfortable mid-way through.

kimi antonelli - bridge young but scarily talented. pulls it off like it’s nothing and casually shrugs after. doesn’t even realize how hot he looks doing it.

ʚ・ferrari

charles leclerc - reverse cowgirl quiet in interviews, dramatic on the radio. gives you “hopeless romantic who pretends not to care” energy. lets you take the lead but still makes it cinematic somehow.

lewis hamilton - spooning luxury. candles. playlist curated to the vibe. everything is intentional, soft, and meaningful. says “i got you” and means it.

ʚ・mclaren

lando norris - ballet dancer starts off laughing, then surprises you with full performance energy. twirls you around like it’s a rom-com, then bites your neck for fun.

oscar piastri - tucked missionary he’s calm, quiet, and absolutely calculated. very into the technical details. doesn’t make a fuss but has you clutching the sheets like ??? how???

ʚ・aston martin

fernando alonso - squatting cowgirl age is just a number. balances like a yoga master, keeps eye contact, and somehow turns it into a motivational speech halfway through.

lance stroll - one-leg-up missionary chill, not flashy, but shockingly good at this exact position. leans into it casually. acts like it’s nothing but has you seeing stars.

ʚ・williams

alex albon - kneeling oral sweetest boy alive. loves making you happy more than anything. says “tell me what you like” with the softest voice. gold star giver.

carlos sainz - doggy classic. passionate. in control. the man thrives under pressure and it shows. focused, intense, and somehow turns this into a performance worthy of applause. probably whispers something in spanish that short-circuits your brain. makes you feel like it was your idea the whole time.

ʚ・haas

ollie bearman - one-leg spoon baby boy energy. tries his best. a little shy but committed. accidentally makes it romantic. 10/10 would comfort you with snacks after.

esteban ocon - missionary starts off shy, but the moment kicks in and suddenly it’s like he’s been rehearsing this in the mirror. soft-spoken, maybe even a little awkward beforehand, but he’s determined to prove himself. will absolutely debrief the whole experience afterward like it's a post-race interview.

ʚ・racing bulls

liam lawson - splits unsuspecting menace. looks like he’d hesitate, then surprises you with flexibility and full commitment. asks afterward if he did good. he did.

isack hadjar - the arch absolutely shows off. confident, slightly cocky, but backs it up. makes eye contact while doing it and smirks when you blush.

ʚ・alpine

pierre gasly - reverse cowgirl he’s not doing the work — you are. but he’s there for the view, hands behind his head, sunglasses still on indoors. makes smug comments the entire time like, “yeah, just like that.” fully vibing while somehow still running the show. would wink at you mid-movement and say something unhinged in french.

jack doohan - cowgirl confident in theory, flustered in practice. lets you take the lead but lowkey panics when you actually do. tries to act chill but you can literally feel his heart pounding through his chest. afterward, he’s all pink-cheeked and smiley, like “that was great… did I do okay?” you reassure him. he did amazing.

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