#I spent forever on that background lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

whenmemorydies · 7 months ago

Text

The legerdemain of racism: demands for season 4 of The Bear

Alright folks, this one has been sitting on my chest like a fucking elephant for the last week. It's a long one (when are they not, I'm sorry lol), so if you'd give me the grace of your time and eyeballs, lets have a cup of tea and do this.

Legerdemain: the magic trick

In 3x07 Legacy, we're introduced to the concept of legerdemain (French for 'sleight of hand') in the form of notes and drawings, etched into one of Carmy's notebooks:

Other possible definitions of legerdemain include:

'the skilful hiding of the truth in order to trick people';

'skilful tricks done as part of a performance'; and

'cunning, deception or trickery.'

There have been important discussions on this app about the concept of legerdemain in The Bear, and how Storer, Calo and co. appear to have peppered season 3 of the show with references to their own use of the concept in breaking the fourth wall, to comment on filmmaking, on cooking, magic, and perhaps, using the legerdemain of season 3 as a distraction while they take a dish their industry further in season 4.

Have a look at the below metas for some helpful background to what I'm talking about here.

Fourth Wall/Magic Trick Metas for The Bear:

@brokenwinebox's Fourth Wall (being broken)

@brokenwinebox's The New Paradigm

@thoughtfulchaos773's meta on the fourth wall

@currymanganese's Richie's journey is not over (on Richie being the author avatar for creator Chris Storer

@currymanganese's masterful consolidation of fourth wall analysis and their speculative analysis on the role of the Faks

@ago0112's analysis of the blurring of fact and fiction during the Ever funeral service

My post Richie and the viewer.

See also this beautiful reblog thread discussing how the creative decisions involved in season 3 have elicited sympathetic responses in the audience that mimic the emotions of the characters on The Bear, possibly contributing to a division in how this season has been received generally. Shout out to @moodyeucalyptus, @vacationship and @greekyogurttragedy for this generous and thoughtful discussion. And this insightful breakdown on the treatment of characters of colour this season between @hwere and @mxmajor + this discussion on the sidelining of Black grief this season with @melfinawins , @suellenalmeida and @moodyeucalyptus.

An ache: POC on The Bear

After I finished my first watch of season 3 (which was an ill-advised binge while recovering from the flu), I felt like I had sat through a year's worth of television. This was purely for the fact that I was emotionally SPENT by the end of it (still didn't stop me from wanting to rewatch the entire thing immediately - I didn't, thank god. Shout out to my nervous system for threatening a revolt and stopping me). Anyway this is to say, I had to really stretch my memory to recall a lot of the content in this season's early episodes. One that stood out though was the beginning of 3x02 Next.

3x02 begins (hilariously) with Syd and Papa Adamu fighting for bathroom time and then Syd leaving the apartment for work. As Syd makes her way to work, we hear Eddie Vedder's cover of "Save It For Later" playing, which @brokenwinebox has referred to in the context of the fourth wall.

We then leave Syd but get a tour of early morning Chicago with documentary-style footage of an array of workers beginning their daily grinds, preparing the city for its day. These workers are diverse in lots of ways including cultural background and employment, running the gamut from food service, hospitality, newspapers (shout out to the Chicago Tribune which will give The Bear its first review in 3x10 Forever), sports, etc.

What is striking about this beautiful opening to 3x02 are the lyrics of "Save It For Later" that are playing as we see all these hardworking people pass by on our screens:

We hear Eddie Vedder sing, "run away, run away and let me down" over and over while diverse, working class folks wave at us, the viewers. And if I'm being honest, in relation to people of colour and Black folks being represented on this show, this is a good chunk of what season 3 ended up feeling like for me (and undoubtedly, for a lot of other BIPOC viewers too): racialised people waving, hailing the creators behind this show, and screaming DON'T LET US DOWN, DON'T RUN AWAY FROM US. WHY THE FUCK SHOULD WE SUFFER LIKE THIS?

And then we get the remainder of 3x02, which myself and others have described as having two too many Faks and one too many unnecessary conversations about Claire in lieu of the attention that should have been paid to Marcus and the loss of his mother. Where the fuck was Chester, who looked after Mrs Brooks when Marcus was in Copenhagen? I needed to see their sweet friendship in that episode and was actually blown away when we got none of it.

And things got progressively worse from there.

In this pre-season 3 meta on The Bear, I spoke about how part of the tragedy of Carmy's fridge spiral was the (white) saviourism of his speech to Tina ("I failed you guys") which rubbed me all sorts of wrong ways given that the largely POC crew rallied and turned Friends and Family into a success while our man was stuck in the fridge. White saviourism can also be described as the trope of the 'white man's burden' (itself named after the Rudyard Kipling poem written as a justification for European imperial conquest of the Global South).

I'm not saying that the white saviourism here is intentional or that Carmy would even identify his behaviour in this way (unconscious biases are just that - unconscious - after all). But Carm is the product of the fine dining industry which is predominantly white. His access to those fancy kitchens was predicated on the fact that his family owned their own restaurant to begin with. That access would have been dictated by privilege and power which are inextricably tied to things like race, class, gender, ability etc. Marcus got his start in the culinary world via McDonalds while his single mum busted her ass looking after him. As far as we know, Syd had no connections in the culinary world before she embarked on her career and she's got the imposter syndrome to show for it (this is part of why I will fight to the death anyone who slags her off, she's too precious to me). 3x06 Napkins gave us huge insight into Tina's journey to fine dining which was also not easy. Likewise in 3x07 Legacy when Ted Fak (?!) gives Sweeps the latter's "I know who you are" moment. I'm still waiting on the origin stories of Ebra, Manny and Angel.

These differences between Carmy's journey and those of the characters of colour on this show matter and it was heartening to me to know that the writers of The Bear thought they mattered enough that they made them canon. These stories make it clear that of all of the people at The Beef and then The Bear, Carmy is likely the person with the most race and class privilege. And sometimes, the man acted like it! (e.g. Carmy disregarding all the work put in by the largely POC crew after he got locked in the walk in, dismissing their victorious service led by Sydney and Richie in 2x10 when he talked to Tina. He'd do this again when he spoke to Sydney in 3x01 and she has to remind him that everyone helped get the restaurant through Friends and Family).

Let me be clear: I wasn't and am still not mad that Carmy becomes an entitled, privileged little shit when the shit hits the fan. This is all in character for him (he's been this way since season 1 folks - recall 1x07 The Review).

I even expected the white saviourism to shoot itself into the stratosphere in season 3 while Carmy entered Michelin Mode. Because that is how this white man has been trained (in a largely white industry) to operate in a high pressure culinary setting that prioritises the reputation (and the glory) of the EC at the cost of everyone under them. Add to that Carmy's clear trauma, his learned behaviours from dealing with an abusive mother and absent father, his discordant relationships with his parentified siblings, his psychotic ex-boss, his grief...I was certain the man was going to be a hot, dysregulated mess for at least part of this season. And he was.

BUT...

What I wasn't counting on was the overabundance of the Faks (I am still not over John fucking Cena taking up screen time on this show OR that it was Neil and Ted at the end of 3x08 Ice Chips, visiting Nat and Donna after Nat's delivery), and the overabundance of Claire content, while we had the season running away from our characters of colour.

Sydney spent most of season 3 mediating between two dysregulated white guys (Richie and Carmy - though her character didn't do this without a fight, a la "I'm not your fucking babysitter" in 3x03 Doors) and being subjected to Carmy's tirades all through service and prep, without much exposition at all about her and her motivations for staying at The Bear (we get a glimpse - a beautiful one that absolutely devastated me - just before her panic attack in the season's last episode 3x10). We even had Marcus in 3x03 Doors (this particular choice PISSED me all the way off given the absolute lack of care given to this character and the passing of his mother in the same episode) pushing both the Magical Negro trope and the white man's burden trope as he tells Carmy to "take us there Bear": a plea to Carm to make the restaurant work for the crew's sake. In 3x05 Children, we get Carmy treating Ebra like an actual Magical Negro in one of the few exchanges between the two of them this season, when Carm asks Ebra, "Am I fucking this up?" about, well - in a moment I'd like to think was fourth wall knocking - this entire season/the operation of the restaurant.

@kensatou in this brilliant gifset (of one of the funniest bits this season) also points out how the restaurant is contributing to the gentrification of its neighbourhood, further driving the restaurant and us viewers towards an increasing whitening of the world of The Bear.

Then we've got one of the most frustrating aspects of racism and misogynoir associated with this show and a seemingly bewildering response from the cast and crew in tackling it: the INSISTENCE at different points in time by some fans of the show, the cast and the crew that Sydney and Carmy are platonic and nothing more. All the cues and subtext in the show itself, be damned. I won't go through all the arguments as to why this is bullshit but will say, many folks have talked about how many m/f platonic relationships there are on this show (Richie/Tina, Richie/Sydney, Marcus/Sydney, Marcus/Tina, Richie/Nat, Michael/Tina, Carmy/every other woman apart from Sydney etc). There’s no shortage so why are folks so pressed with Sydcarmy? *cough* anti-black racism and misogynoir is why *cough*. Anyway...there's been LOTS of exposition about this on Tumblr by folks much more well-versed in this discourse than me. Just search the #sydcarmy hashtag for that brilliance.

Some (including me) have wondered why the cast and creators don’t directly address the obvious racism behind calls for Sydcarmy to only be platonic, or at the very least, just tell people calling for this to watch the damn show and see. Instead Sydcarmies were met with official denials of any kind of romantic relationship between Syd and Carmy right up until premiere of season 3. I know I personally felt that the insistence by the cast and crew to actively deny any romantic relationship between a Black woman and white man on this show was frustrating to the n'th degree. But then I jumped on Tumblr, as we do, and fell into the fourth wall, magic trick and legerdemain discussions and I got thoughts...if you're still here, I promise I'm almost at my point lol, stick with me.

Racism as the sleight of hand, white supremacy as the deception

The singular Toni Morrison famously described racism as a distraction (tres legerdemain-ish, n'est-ce pas?):

"The function, the very serious function of racism is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining, over and over again, your reason for being. Somebody says you have no language and you spend twenty years proving that you do. Somebody says your head isn’t shaped properly so you have scientists working on the fact that it is. Somebody says you have no art, so you dredge that up. Somebody says you have no kingdoms, so you dredge that up. None of that is necessary. There will always be one more thing."

The above quote is from a talk that Ms Morrison gave at Portland State University in 1975 entitled "Black Studies Center Public Dialogue, Part 2". You can listen to the talk in full here. A transcript of the talk can also be found here.

What if, the racism driving the anti-Sydcarmy antagonism and the cast and crew not addressing it or letting it fester is the point. Racism doing what racism does: distracting and deceiving. What if the pay off from this sleight of hand is that in season 4 we get what we know is destined to happen? An outcome based on the cues and clues that are littered throughout this show for anyone with a modicum of media literacy and without the blinders that a racist worldview grants: Sydcarmy.

And what about what Morrison said next in her talk,

"The distraction is no different than bombing Cambodia to keep the Northern Vietnamese from making their great push. And since not history, not anthropology, not social sciences seem capable in a strong and consistent way to grapple with that problem, it may very well be left to the artists to do it.

For art focuses on the single grain of rice, the tree-shaped scar, and the names of people, not only the number that arrived. And to the artist one can only say, not to be confused, [sigh] not to be confused.

You don’t waste your energy fighting the fever; you must only fight the disease. And the disease is not racism. It is greed and the struggle for power.

And I urge you to be careful. For there is a deadly prison: the prison that is erected when one spends one’s life fighting phantoms, concentrating on myths, and explaining over and over to the conqueror your language, your lifestyle, your history, your habits.

And you don’t have to do it anymore. You can go ahead and talk straight to me."

Now Morrison was speaking directly to Black artists, creators and thinkers when she gave the above talk but I would argue that all creators who are telling stories that feature people of colour, or people from communities that have been systemically discriminated against for whatever reason, have a responsibility to heed her call. Speak DIRECTLY to the communities you are representing in your work. And if you are doing your damn job properly in 2024, that is ALL OF US, in some shape or form. What Morrison is asking folks to do, is de-center the white gaze.

Ok so bearing in mind the above, back to the fourth wall, the magic trick and an invitation to believe. Recall this screenshot from 3x09 Apologies:

@currymanganese has theorised that Richie is the author-avatar for The Bear creator Chris Storer. Storer is partners with Gillian Jacobs (the actress who plays Tiff, also pictured here) in real life. In essence, we are looking at some version of "mom and dad" of this show (ideally, we'd have an avatar for showrunner Joanna Calo in here instead, but I'm working with what I got). After Tiff says "Well, I know my demographic" in the above scene, Richie/Storer stays looking at the camera long after Tiff turns away from it.

Let’s be real, in any other circumstance, if two white people were looking me dead in the eye and saying they knew who their demographic was, I’d be worried lmao. I'm still worried because for a white showrunner like Storer to even begin to understand just HOW paradigm shifting what I'm going to suggest below is, would be huge.

But...what if the demographic is us? The viewership that was drawn into this show by the unapologetic and unambiguous representation of Black characters and characters of colour in season 1 of The Bear? A show that had Sydney making stew and plantains for the family meal from the jump in 1x01 System, that had Tina calling Carmy a puta while next second claiming no Inglés, that had Marcus, Sydney and Sweeps code switching to AAVE with no explanation to anyone; that had Marcus lovingly applying Palmer's Cocoa Butter (iykyk) to his bedridden mother's hands? A viewership that includes many people of colour who have been so frustrated by the sidelining of the characters of colour this season because of the show's focus on Carmy, the fucking Faks and Claire?

Now there has been some analysis on the purpose of the Faks and Claire which has lightened my heart somewhat. But the treatment of racialised characters this season still doesn't sit completely square with me.

Do Storer and Calo have what it takes to do what Toni Morrison commanded and not be confused? To go ahead and talk straight to us in season 4?

Will they make things square like Carmy alluded to in his description of what he wants his legacy to be, in 3x07?

As much as I went into my issues with this season here in this post, I am hopeful. I love this show. I love how it deals with grief. I love the symbolism and the quality of the writing, I love the acting, I love the cinematography. I love the music. This thing is a veritable feast. And I know it can be yet greater, if it heeds Ms Morrison's demand.

There's glimpses that its doing this and hopefully, will take the thread and run with it head-first into season 4: at the end of 3x10 Forever who is it that brings all of us viewers back to the idea of chosen family (what the showrunners have said the show is actually about)? Which character is seen remembering the original crew of the Beef and their trajectory to the end of season 3? Who has refused to run away from them all throughout the show (and when she did, she came back)? Whose arrival at The Beef kickstarts this whole ride in the first place? Its the CDC of The Bear: Sydney Adamu.

If Storer and Calo want to take this legerdemain shit seriously, then season 4 needs to centre Sydney as the main protagonist. It needs to return to its characters of colour. It needs to paradigm shift the fuck out of this show.

We already got Ayo directing the season premiere for season 4. I am cautiously holding out hope for more of the same next season. Listen, I know I am asking for folks to suspend maybe everything we know about systemic racism in the entertainment industry here lol. But if this season has been about the suspension of belief and distraction, maybe Ms Morrison’s words are more prescient than ever. And if these showrunners are committing to the bit as hard as I think they are, maybe the final season of The Bear is going to be its best yet.

150 notes · View notes

thesharktanksdriver · 3 months ago

Text

Determination!: The all blue night (platonic)

Masterlist for the series.

I put in Zeff’s manga reasoning for loosing a leg this one cause it makes more sense and is much more impactful in my opinion. Like I get they didn’t want to put in he ate his own leg to survive because it’s super dark but I digress. Sorry for the slow rate I’m writing stuff school has been taking a big toll on me inspiration wise and kinda mentally too lol

tag list : @peachsuka28 @emptynessinmyworld @badluckinfrench @j-s-l-m @tigerfang-rage @madokamagicaa @rymtea @angstylittleb1tch @badluckinfrench @emmbny @kenkenmaaa @yunho-leeknow @chibiduck @spqce-bun @coca-cola-fiend @Koifishpoond @eyes-ofhell @imaginarydreams @ghostdoodlen

At some point in a long while hunger becomes or less like second nature

You knew the feeling intimately

It starts as a burning pit that consumes your entire stomach

Eating through stomach lining as acid boils over and spills into the rest of you

It travels and burns

Eating you away as hands scrape against the midriff to try and alleviate the ache

The pain

The want

The need

The agony

But eventually the pain becomes background noise

As does all pain after so long

You’d died so many times in so many different ways and yet starvation is one thing that is familiar to you

And like how death is your friend whom you see oh so often

So is hunger

Nights spent alone clutching a completely empty stomach

The pain becoming almost a comforting sensation in its familiarity

At some point you’d just accepted that your stay hungry

That even when dying over and over again and occasionally treating yourself to a meal you’d stay hungry

Because even when you ate it was never enough

Stomach still aching and swirling in its emptiness and collapsing in on itself

At some point a long time ago you used to go to bed with a full stomach and now each night your rocked to sleep by the pain of an empty one

Things used to be different

And you can’t remember what that was like anymore

So you just accepted as it was

And so you accepted you’d be forever hungry

Ending up a cruise ship wasn’t your intention but just as most things that happen to you it quickly becomes a new experience

And as always you go with the flow of things

Ending up on the cruise wasn’t planned

Nor was ending up somehow being found by a young chef boy who helped cover for you

But as always fate seemed to have different plans

And you just rolled with it

The boy’s name was Sanji, he was 10 and helped you hide in the storage area of the cruise

At night he’d sneak you out

With hands much like your own, scarred yet retaining a soft and caring quality he’d guide you through the halls

Past the creaky floorboards he knew by heart after 2 years of apparently living on this ship

Through the elegant dining rooms that housed grand chandeliers and checkerboard floors

Beneath the white table cloths of spotless tables he and you sit

Quietly looking at recipe books together or sharing stories between the two of you

Sanji was apparently from the north blue originally, but found himself on the cruise that now housed him called the orbit

The chefs found him one night

Scared and alone pillaging the kitchen

They took pity on him, partially out of genuine concern and intrigue at seeing the spark of talent in him

And since then he’s been cooking and calling this place “home”

Though that was a vague term

Much like yourself Sanji had ambitions beyond this small boat cruising the sea

He wanted to find something

Wanted to be something beyond an errand boy

Wanted to cook for anyone who’d have his food

To ensure they didn’t go to bed hungry

The way he describes it to you under a table in candlelight resounds something in you

Especially since he then takes your hands, promising he’d ensure you’d be full

That you’ll have the best food he can provide

All for you

Someone who’s still a stranger to him

A stowaway on a cruise meant for upper crust but not quite celestial dragons (yet they both act the same either way)

And he still promises he’d do everything in his power to make you content

He cooks for you as if you were someone important and not a stowaway

You nod along not having the will to tell him he’d never be able to do that

Not when you can’t remember what being full felt like anyways

And so you lie and say your full after you finish a plate even if your still staving

His blinding smile is able to make you feel the pain momentarily go away anyways

Sanji tells you one night of a place called “the all blue”

Supposedly it was the place that connected the north, south, east, and west together

Creating a sea where creatures from all four seas could coexist together

It was a chef and fisherman’s dream

But it was just that

A dream

Unattainable and imaginary

Or…at least that’s what everybody else thought

But not Sanji

And certainly not you

He speaks so hopeful about his dream

Of finding the all blue

Of proving everyone wrong

Of making his dream come true

He has the spark to do it

You can tell by his eyes alone

Sapphire hued just like the waves of the ocean he seeks

Similarly he sees a spark in your eyes as well

Almost seeming to Glow in hazy candlelight

And as you say you believe in him

In his dream

Believed in him when no one else did

Well, who’s to say he couldn’t become more motivated

Especially when your eyes shine like stars above the sea

And when in the candlelight highlighted by luminous stars hidden in irises he asks you about your dream

And in a haze of memory and emotion you tell him a story

One you cannot remember now but he holds dear in his heart

The story of wanting

The story loss

The story of loneliness

The story of a family torn apart

And the story of a devil fruit

By the end of it all you and Sanji sit in a darkened kitchen

Two stowaways on the same ship (though one is welcomed and the other is a mystery)

Both connected through the spark of a dream to sail the seas

One’s purpose clear while the other is hazed

But either which way the two talk in an empty kitchen and eat

Unknowingly both know what it feels like to starve

And both know loss

The two of you make a pinky promise, when he finds the all blue you’ll be the first to have one of his meals and you promise you’ll always be his friend

The raid of the orbit comes out of nowhere and somehow predictable at the same time

You’d come to know that your luck was something that ran out quite fast

And unfortunately you were no stranger to things such as this

But typically when a ship went down you were on the deck

Now instead you were in the storage

Stood atop boxes that were quickly being eaten up by cold unforgiving water

Yelling and screams echoes down quickly flooding halls

Waves crashing so Harshly against the ship that it begins to crack the wood, doesn’t help that the invading ship is bumping into it either

Confusion spreading through you like wildfire as the water continues to raise higher and higher

If you were anyone else you’d be scared of dying to such a fate

But your not

Your more worried about Sanji as you trudge through the wading waves

Feet becoming heavier and heavier with each step you take

Feeling as if concrete was slowly forming shoes over your boots or chains manifesting from the cold water that sucks warmth from you

By now it’s just above your waist and the effects of it really begin to hit you

Soon enough you’d be immobile

Unable to move and frozen like a Statue for the waves that’ll sink you with it

If you didn’t die from the cold first but you doubted that

With how the steadily rising of it your definitely drowning before hypothermia or shock

Though at this point even the pain of choking on salt water, it quickly filling your lungs for the burn of air loss to help fill the liquid

But then you hear sloshing through the blaring of your ears

And your name

It echoes and for a moment you need a moment to realize what was said or who even called out

But then it hits you

Sanji

He came back for you

Came back knowing you’d be in danger

Came back knowing you were in an area with water

Came back knowing you’d be eaten up by the waves if he didn’t

Came back because he knew knew you ate a devil fruit

Shaking cold hands grab your own and he drags you with him

But at the point in which the water gets to the point of immobilizing you he decides to pick you up instead

Placing you on his back as he drags both himself and you through flooding halls

Water splashes

Yelling continues

Sanji’s rapidly thumbing heart echoes through your ribcage as you helplessly lay your head on his shoulder

He should’ve left you there to save himself

You say so to his face

But despite that he yells at you for being an idiot

About how in the hell you expected him to leave you there to die

Not when he promised he’d cook you the first meal he’d make when he found the all blue

Not when you were the only one who enjoyed his cooking

Through the chaos you and him stumble out into the deck

The boat rocking violently as rain and sea water pelts down on you like hail

Your still weak because of this, the water soaking you to the bone

But thoroughly out of being submerged you slink off of Sanji’s back

But he holds your hand

It shakes in your grip

He’s scared and you can’t blame him

Swords clash all around the two of you, and somehow both of you weave through the carnage

For reasons you don’t like to think about he seemed used to fighting just as you were

But unlike you who content in laying down and dying he fights

Sanji will die clawing to survive

It’s why he picks up a sword

Why he points it at a pirate despite the fact he won’t win

Why he pushes you behind him even if your stronger and older than him

Because Sanji cares

And that’s something very rare now in the world

Even when the captain of the crew comes up to the two of you Sanji doesn’t back down

He proudly declares his dream

To find the all blue

And within that captains eyes you see it

That same spark, that same dream, that same determination

Though it’s dying and faded it for a moment lights up once more

You see it before being engulfed by water and grasp for it

You, Sanji and the pirate known as Zeff end up on a barren rock in the middle of the ocean

No grass nor trees

Just a jutting stone too far up from the water to safely jump in from or fish

Stuck after the captain with dimming eyes saved both you and Sanji after a colossal wave swept the two of you off ship

In the water despite your attempts in making Sanji let you go he didn’t

His grip had held stead-strong as he kept trying to pull you up with him

Unable to even as air escaped his lungs

But Zeff intervened

And the three of you were alive for now

But you could hardly call this living

You sit with Sanji looking out towards the sea, hoping for a ship to cross by

The food given by Zeff won’t last long to feed either of you past a few days, you know that

Even if Sanji does his best to ration it between the two of you

You know one of you won’t survive

And you know you won’t let it be him

Starvation is not a new go around for you

It’s probably your most common death besides dehydration, drowning or hypothermia

But it’s not a fun way to go even if the pain of a empty stomach became commonplace for you

You can’t let Sanji die that way

Not before finding the all blue

So when he’s not looking you hid the food he gives you

Hiding each piece and scrap of moldy bread

Keeping it from his sapphire eyes that become more and more sunken like your own

Keeping the fact how much pain your in from him

You distract from it all by telling him more stories

Of singing songs even if your throat feels like sand paper is scraping against it with each word

Each syllable

Each hum

But you don’t care

Not when you see his eyes reignite with hope

Not when his sullen face pulls up into a smile when you tell him of when you learned piano from a crew who befriended a whale

Not when they sparkle with curiosity when hearing of a land atop the clouds with white winged people

Not when you see the slightest bit of ease when you tell him of the constellations

Pointing to the stars and explaining their meaning

Telling him how no one was ever truly alone when the stars hung and watched

That’s what’s you had told yourself after so many weeks alone drifting

That the stars were watching

That you weren’t alone as you clutched Roger’s coat closer

Everyone was made of stardust and in the end that’s where they returned when they died

You weren’t alone, not with the stars watching over you

Not when Roger was watching over you

As you lay awake while Sanji clings to you for warmth you pull the coat closer around the two of you

One night as Sanji slept you snuck to the other side of the island

Zeff doesn’t face you, but the smell of iron lingers in a scent as familiar as the sea to you

Blood

It stains the ground and air in its presence

It’s familiar to you though, even if that’s a sad fact to admit

Sitting down next to the old captain you look to the night sky

Your oldest friend of them all

Bleak and empty with the stars being the only boots of light penetrating the deep darkness

Dead stars continuing to shine even after being extinguished, their light still traveling eons away to hit your eyes in their gentle glow amidst the sorrow and joy of life

His hand trumps your shoulder as you sit next to him, he can probably feel the bone beneath now paper thing flesh

Fat being eaten away by your body to try and survive

Leaving you a shell of yourself even moreso than him or Sanji

He can tell, and despite not looking in his diminishing eyes you can sense the horror in them

His shaking hand is enough to tell you

But despite it all you smile at him, now looking at the weathered man

Your eyes speak volumes that he can’t decipher in such little amount of time

But even with that he sees the understanding and acceptance of your own fate

And it crushes him

Grinds him down to his very spirit

And Zeff is left speechless as you tend to his tourniquet and stump of a leg

Still bloody and raw

You don’t flinch at the sight at all

If anything you gaze at blood and gore as if it were normal

Examining it as if it were a paper cut before assuring him it’s luckily not infected and that he cut off his blood circulation correctly

How you knew this knowledge was beyond him

And yet you knew it all the same

Humming a soft tune to yourself that he hears softly in the daytime across the little barren rock of an island

It’s raspy and quiet

And at the same time hauntingly loud in his ears

It seems to linger there even as you go back to Sanji

As does the fact you know what your fate is

And that there’s nothing him nor the boy could do for you, your body on the cusp of death that nothing could change that

But all the same you smile and sing in the face of it all

As if awaiting death like an old friend at a bar

Drunk on the remaining days of your life as you sung songs awaiting his arrival

You’ve always known when your time was near, you always seemed to sense it before it had come

Maybe death was a sentient entity and you’d just been able to sense it better as time went on

Or maybe you were just so used to your body shutting down that you’d noticed the signs before it happened

But either which was you knew your time was soon

There was no crying about it

Nor shivers of fear

If anything it felt more like a release and a hopeful occasion

Because you’d be released from the hunger if only to feel your stomach become empty again (but for the moment you wake in that void where you clutch a golden star the pain is gone)

If only to be released from this barren prison and find a way to save Sanji and Zeff

Because if you died you could get them help

That was seemingly the only purpose of your powers anyways

Die

Comeback

Rinse and repeat

You were fine with it though

As long as it meant you were able to help others (even at your own expense)

Every moment drags on

Every twitch of your finger takes so much out of you

Your body not having enough to power it

Despite it though you sit beside Sanji one last time

You sing for him and tell him stories

Tell him of the grand line and its wonders

The new world and its mystery

Trailing off occasionally for a break as everything becomes harder to do

The words seeming to slur and slosh around in your mouth

He can tell something is wrong

By the tears gathering in ocean blue eyes he knows

So he savours what you say

What you tell

What you sing

The words being engraved in his mind as paper thin skeletal hands clutch his own

That night he falls asleep much later than he usually did

He sits staring up to the stars you’d told him of

His grip deathly tight on your hand

Thumb lightly grazing your pulse as if to ensure himself your still there

Still breathing

Still alive

Using your pulse to try and keep himself awake even if it’s wasting precious energy

When he eventually drifts off with tears gathered in his eyes (knowing you’d be deathly still in the morning, cold and stiff and forever asleep) you tell him to find it

The all blue

He dreams of that place when you slip from his grasp

He dreams of the fishes mingling together when you take out the scraps hidden away and placing them in his pile

He dreams of preparing when you hobble over to Zeff

He dreams of cooking when the old man begs you to eat, to be selfish and you reply that you are being selfish. That you want him and Sanji to live for your sake and that was as selfish as it came

He dreams of serving you a dish when the old man can do nothing but hold you close and not want to let go and yet eventually you slip away

He dreams of your reaction as you say to Zeff your gonna go get some rest and promise to get them help with a gentle smile

He dreams of sitting beside you with his feet in the water wadding slowly, the sight of a sunset fading quickly into night

Briefly he jostles momentarily awake when you lay back next to him, smiling and telling him to get some rest

Halfway asleep he nods, partially thinking it was his dream because he’s had no one care for him like this except you (and mom and maybe Reiju)

So of course for the moment in which he’s only partially aware he sees it as a happy dream

You hold him close and he goes back to dreaming

He dreams of you sitting by his mom in that hospital bed, a dish for the two of you in her lap while you fade into the nothingness that is night

When he wakes that morning he wakes up alone and cold

He lays there for several minutes sobbing to himself as he notices the food he rationed out for you a few feet away untouched and moldy

Sanji sobs and his all blue eyes spill with tears

Across the island the old man does the same

Your body is not on the island and unknowingly to them faded to stardust

But both later come to the conclusion that in your last moments you’d decided to take the plunge into the water

To not leave them with a rotting corpse on that barren rock (since despite both of their hunger neither would eat your corpse. Zeff could eat his own leg in desperation but that was his leg, not the dead body of a child)

A reminder of both their failures

One in protecting the two young children he sacrificed his leg for

And the other in promising you’d be the first to taste his dream

Unbeknownst to them across the sea a young child reports to a ship of being a survivor of the orbit

Saying that they saw two others shipwrecked on a rocky island jutting out from the ocean

As a ship is sent off to investigate an odd group of crows end up dropping food on the barren island to Sanji and Zeff’s bitter relief

Two loafs of bread and a canteen of water being able to get them a few more days before rescue

The urge to go see them is there within your heart, but for their sake you decide not to

You’d caused them too much pain in the first place

You don’t want to rub salt in the wound

Plus you’d prefer oregano instead to season yourself

Sanji is a troubled child, he’s self aware to know that about himself

It’s perhaps why everyone hated him

But for some reason you didn’t and surprisingly enough so did Zeff

The two of you handed out kindness to him as if he deserved it

As if he weren’t a failure on so many levels both genetically and emotionally

In a sense he could get why you did it, a kid only maybe a year or two older than him

Someone he viewed as his closest friends despite the relativity of time spent together and as a sibling he wishes he had (the now healed bruises and scars you saw but never pushed to ask about as you helped put salves over the old wounds are evident of that)

Someone who sacrificed themselves for him, for some fucking reason saving your food for him even as you withered away before his eyes

If he had been more watchful he would’ve noticed it, but being half there on that island starved and scared left him more like a shell

Made him ignorant until it was too late

He could accept why you care, but he can’t accept why Zeff cares

Can’t accept why this man, a hardened pirate would give a shit about him

Offer him kindness

Take him in

Mentor him

And eat his own leg to ensure Sanji and you wouldn’t go hungry (partially worked in the end)

Sanjis sometimes gets kindness from women, moms warm hugs are evident in his mind as is the tears from a sister who tells him to go and be free

Sanji’s sometimes kindness from those his age, your the shining example but he can also think of a few guests in the orbit who played games with him in its halls

But most of all Sanji has never experienced kindness from a man

So seeing Zeff go out of his way for him

Seeing how Zeff on the rescue ship doesn’t let anyone hound him for invasive answers and ensures he gets food first

The good food the ship goers give in pity that he scrounges up with a snotty noose and runny eyes, Zeff always lets him eat first before having his own fix

How Zeff rubs his back as the both mourn

It means a lot more than words can say

As does the fact that Zeff on a silent night says he’s going to open a restaurant on the sea

And that he needs staff

A silent invitation that is solidified as Sanji quietly takes his hand with tears in his eyes

If the old man is crying Sanji doesn’t comment

Not even if raindrops fall down from a clear night sky and pelt his dirtied kitchen apron

Not when he’s held close in loving arms

Not when they sit in the deck both brokenly humming the song you’d sing like a broken record

Out of tune and off key

It plays when the two of them cook in the kitchen of the baratie

Sanji always looks to the stars when he takes a smoke break, Zerg occasionally accompanying him on the balcony in a somber silence

And even though Sanji hates wasting food he can’t help but make an extra plate sometimes

Can’t help but subconsciously make more than needed to feed someone not there

Zeff doesn’t comment on it and tells the others to lay off if they ask Sanji about it

He can’t judge when he sometimes does the same

Can’t when he sometimes looks out to sea and hears your humming in the waves

The small song sung by a raspy throat that helped ease hours of the days spent on that barren rock

Days in which he worries of his wound being infected

Days in which he worried for the boy who shared his dream and the child who looked as if they accepted death

And it stays with him

Because Zeff can so clearly see your sunken face when he spots a starved begger on the street

Can so clearly see how you curled up at night trying to keep Sanji warm as skeletal hands clung to you

Can clearly see your eyes when he stares out at night, the full shine of stars that looked so bleak

Can so clearly see you valued the two of them more than yourself no matter how either of them tried to save you

And yet they couldn’t do it

You weren’t here anymore, no body to bury or honour either

Nothing but a barren rock and cold salty water to serve as your grave

The chefs at baratie try to question when one night a year they see Zeff and Sanji leave a full plate of food on the deck

But none of them ever get an answer except it was for someone hungry they couldn’t feed

Patty always tries to chase away the crows that peck at the food but each year they return to eat that plate of food until nothing is left

And oddly enough the murder always seems to leave behind a loaf of bread in the plates place

Years later a cannonball crashes through the baratie

Cracking and breaking timber in of what Sanji calls a home

Besides that and a marine asshole with his beautiful date it’s a mostly normal day

Not the worse he’s experienced

Nor the best

Average would be the best way to put it, the baratie often times seeming more like a fight club rather than a proper cooking establishment

If the smirk wasn’t enough I n the douches face then it was the fact he wasted perfectly good food

The thought sickens him

A sunken starved face stares back at him from the wasted soup

Boney and dead

It leaves him sick to his stomach especially when a starved pirate stumbles through the door

And everything seems to come back to him all at one once

Especially the man’s eyes, they look too much like your own on those last few days on the hellish rock

Soulless and empty

When he places a plate in front of the starved man he doesn’t expect anyone from the dinning room to follow in his example

Not with their cheering of the man being beaten down by patty

But stepping through the side door someone follows

He extinguishes his cigarette and turns around just as he hears the clink of another plate being lowered to the wooden deck

And it’s there that Sanji freezes

Your eyes stare back at him in just as much shock

A cigarette long forgotten falls to the deck and is extinguished when he steps on it

His arms wrap around your own as tears drop freely from his eyes

You hold him the same as you did the last

One hand laced in golden hair while the other pats his back

His knees buckle from the weight of it all

This has to be a dream

He only sees you in dreams or in the faces of the truly hungry

Your sunken starry eyes staring out from others

But your here

And your healthy and safe and alive

And despite the fact he’s confused as all hell

He can’t help but thank whatever god there is out there that your here again

Not just a reflection of a memory

Your here

When you pull away he can’t help but want to pull you back just to ensure you don’t go

To not make the same mistake that Zeff did in letting you go that he still regrets every single day of his life

But as you pull away you don’t do so entirely, you hold both his hands as he kneels to match your level

A confused starved pirate watches confused alongside a boy in a straw hat

“I know you probably have a lot of questions” you say, your hands fidgeting in his with nervousness. You expect him to be mad, to blow up at you and yell at you to leave but he doesn’t, instead you feel his thumb rubbing circles comfortingly on your knuckles. “Think you can get the old man? I think I owe it to you to explain….oh and I’ll pay for the food. I grabbed a random plate on the way here”

#determination!#one piece #platonic #one piece x reader #one piece x you #one piece sanji #one piece zeff #sanji op #sanji x reader #poor sanji #lol

105 notes · View notes

roxtron · 1 year ago

Text

YIPEE IT'S FINALLY DONE

spent the past like, month redrawing the sb cover art (original for side-by-side reference)

rambling under the cut

WOOO I'm so happy to finally have this done. I spent forever working on it, I wish I kept track but I'm pretty sure it took a month to fully finish, I've been working on it like every day for the past couple of weeks and I'm really happy to finally have it finished :D

I'm really proud of the rendering/shading on this one, the text was probably difficult which is why it looks the least accurate. I didn't want to just re-render it and re-draw the human characters so I changed the designs a little bit for this, first time I've drawn any of them. I thought it'd be fun to make their desgins fit a bit closer to the cartoony art around the pizzaplex and just smaller details I find fun.

(if monty is allowed to have spikes on his chest cavity i think freddy should be allowed fluff.. he looks so bald, if you count chica's feathers he's literally the only animatronic without hair LMAO)

I accidentally made some colors a bit more pastel or desaturated but overall I tried to replicate the rendering as well as I can, it was really good practice for understanding lighting better and stuff. (Roxy had like, 3 different color light sources I think? Monty had the most though..)

But anyway! I'm really happy I got this done so I can work on other stuff lol. I might use it for background stuff and I kept all the assets so I can edit them for pfps if i or other people want in the future.

Hope you enjoyed :)

252 notes · View notes

kirammankisser · 11 months ago

Note

how would adam in eden treat his first wife reader

Was he an asshole before eve and lilith left him?

HOOOOLY CRAP GUYS. i went down the BIGGEST rabbit hole for this (perks of being sick and having free time)… first request!!!! (AND FEEL FREE TO LEAVE MORE :)) tysm!!! and with all the background research, i cooked !!! (proofread + i tried my best to make this accurate)

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

how would adam in eden treat his first wife reader?

was he an asshole before eve and lilith left him?

(no warnings, no pronouns used, but suggested you are his wife ^_^)

— in my opinion, lucifer pretty much messed with his whole love life. i think he would be much more chill than he is now. but to try and match his character, he will be a little egoistic.

you were adam’s first wife, and to him, you meant a lot.

seriously, being the first man on earth he grew to be a bit egotistical. but, you helped tone that down from him.

you knew he thought higher of himself, but you tried to remind him that humans should all be equal.

life was wonderful in eden. after spending time in eden with him, you both realized you were falling deeply in love with each other.

“hey, i think i’m in love with you.”

adam says with a grin, and you can’t help but reply,

“me too.”

and your relationship bloomed from there. he thought you were the most wonderful woman he would ever meet.

and as a few years passed, you became adam’s wife.

he could hardly believe it, considering how dumb he was. you were like a goddess to him. beautiful in every way, even if you didn’t think so. he would always tell you how important you are to him.

you spent days upon days with him, and you would plan various things to do.

one of your favorite activities was spending a day in the warm sun, prancing in meadows and playing in creeks.

adam just adored you, sometimes he got a little embarrassed to participate because of his somewhat ‘manly’ ego, but if you asked him to do anything, no questions, he’d do it right away.

“babe, there’s a bunch of flowers in your hair.”

he says, gently leaning forward to pick some of the succulents out of your hair. you two sat in the meadow, as adam hummed while doing so.

“what happens when we die?”

you say curiously, and adam looks at you wide eyed.

“oh, sweetness, don’t worry ‘bout that, ‘kay?”

you silently nodded, curling close to him. the sun was starting to set.

you two shifted on your backs to look at the stars, and he listened intently as you mumbled about the different constellations.

and soon, he knew when your speech got slower, and your hands stopped pointing up at the sky, you had fallen to slumber. and he follows quickly.

͙͘͡★

and you remained close, in love for years to come.

when it came time for death, you both succumbed.

when you made it to heaven, you were there together.

he was so happy, happy he is able to spend the rest of eternity with you.

extra / if he left you for eve + lillith (angstyyy kinda?)

when you and adam got married, you knew this wouldn’t last forever. you love him, so so much, but you knew he didn’t love you fully.

and that’s just who he was, perhaps. he was always eyeing other women, thinking he was superior to you, and seemed to become a bit short tempered around you.

and that’s when you couldn’t take it anymore. you confronted him, tears in your eyes.

and he left.

left you for eve, left her for lillith.

you knew there was no end to it, but when you became an angel, you saw just how fucked up he was.

he was even worse now, somehow, and you knew it was all his wives fault.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

research/long blabber about adam’s backstory i looked up to understand him further even after rewatching hazbin 4 times… adam’s first wife lilith married lucifer,, lilith and adam fought (as of religious text) demons =sinners and freedom with a life in heaven =exterminations lilith = left and kinda evil? adam =first man earliest of man and kinda worst of man? (according to lol more religious text blah blah blah) uprise because lilliths singing which adam took advantage of? alastor’s master = lillith..(theory i think) OH GOD IM SO CONFUSED anyways. lilith hates subservience (willingness to obey others unquestionably) that’s why she left adam?? adam =toxic masculinity. eve left to eat the apple from lucifer ADAMS EX-wife set lillith up? or what. first human. after his wife’s? he’s EXTRENELY cocky and arrogant in charge of annual extermination of sinners (because of overpopulation) is mean because he thinks it’s hilarious, who’s gonna stop him? adam thinks no one can change, and thinks heaven and hell is a great system. basically abuses his power.. lucifer had a baby with adam’s ex-wife and is indirectly responsible for adam losing out on paradise. adam didn’t eat the fordbifden fruit which is why he acts the way he does? god complex cuz he’s firsy man. lillith was the first woman in hazbin, lilith left because adam thought higher of himself. EVE ATE THE FRUIT of knowledge! i tried to use my brain to the max to make this so I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!!

#adam x reader #hazbin hotel adam x reader #hazbin adam x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel fanfiction #adam hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #fanfiction #tvgirlcore #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel x y/n #hazbin hotel x oc

220 notes · View notes

chururiii · 7 months ago

Text

Aquarium date with Haruka Sakura ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

I can’t stop thinking about how going on cute dates with Sakura would be so here are some of my thoughts <3

.𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 .

Firstly knowing his background I think it’s safe to say Sakura has never been to a aquarium, so expect him to definitely be amazed at this new place

He wouldn’t fully understand the appeal of it before going with you. “Isnt it just fish” is what he’s definitely thinking.

Any expectations he had before are blown out of the water (lol) when he finally gets there! He is standing like a kid amazed at just how many creatures he sees

In his moment of excitement, he would grab your hand to pull you along to stuff he sees without his usual tsun behavior. But TRUST once he realizes he is holding your hand that blush will be PRESENT !!

If you happen to have knowledge and love talking about sea animals Sakura would definitely do his very best to listen (he might not understand it all but hearing you excitedly talk has him unable to look away)

While he would run around at times trying to look at all the stuff, I think Sakura would also take a moment to just quietly take in everything. Just gazing in amazement at the sharks and fish swimming to beautifully.

And if you so happen to be doing the same He might even try to sneakily take a photo of you 🤭 he is too embarrassed to ask but with how bad he is with technology you would probably catch him (leading to him blushing up a storm)

He favorite animals were probably the penguins (simply my own bias i have decided he loves penguins). Sakura would spent ages looking at them zipping through the water.

Will definitely go full tsun if you buy him a penguin plushie but you can find him gazing at it trying to hide his happiness.

Overall this date is something he will definitely remember forever after all to experience new things with someone he loves makes for such great memories <3

.𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 .

First time writing something like this in this format but it was fun! So I hope you guys enjoy it too!!!

#haruka sakura #wind breaker (satoru nii)#haruka sakura headcannons #haruka sakura x reader #windbreaker x reader #i truly love him from the bottom of my heart #trying a new format just for fun too :3

84 notes · View notes

spywhitney · 7 months ago

Text

Spoilers for season 3 of the bear:

The few sydcarmy-esque moments and my thoughts on S3.

☠️ When there's a flashback to a quick kiss between Carmy and Claire (with the word EMERGENCY on an ambulance blurred in the background), it cuts to Carmy saying I'm sorry to Sydney. This stood out to me.

☠️ The flashback to the best meal Syd ever had was red- this reminded me of the "Sydney's donut" made by Marcus. (Someone on Reddit pointed out this connects back to Syd's risotto in S1; in S3 Carmy made the excuse of a fennel allergy to make the dish he wanted to, both instances they went against the grain had big impacts).

☠️ In Legacy Carmy told Syd she looked nice (first compliment on her appearance, so yay?).

☠️ When Carmy invites Syd to the funeral of Ever. Most intense eye contact with them this season imo. He's staring at her a lot and she keeps looking down and clearly wanting to know why he wants her there or whatever.

☠️ Carmy touches the small of Sydney's back in Forever.

S3 thoughts:

"Richie what the fūck is this?" No, but seriously wtf was this season?

-Characterisations less honed in, more dim

-Chemistry was dialled back?!?!

-No, or arguably less development on Claire

-Lack of plot direction or cohesion at times

-Unsophisticated use of flashbacks

-Too much time spent on the Faks

-Comedy was meh

-Not enough time spent on scenes or plot points I felt were pivitol

-Carmy saying Claire is peace and tweaking out because of her despite the severe lack of emotional intimacy written for her or the relationship

-Still no time spent delving deeper into Sydney.

Idk what happened. 😭 (At least in terms of shipping neither side has really won. We've all lost atp lol).

#the bear #sydcarmy #sydney adamu #carmen berzatto #sydney x carmy #the bear fx #carmy x sydney #richie jerimovich #carmy berzatto #claire the bear #chefs kiss

60 notes · View notes

1moreff-creator · 12 days ago

Note

I remember you saying that Tsuno and Okazaki are your favorites from Tetro. How are you feeling, FF :3

Spoilers for TDRP CH3. CW: Murder, Okazaki.

I, for one, am feeling delighted on one hand and kinda sad on the other, as you can probably imagine! I can’t be too upset though, since I’m used to my favorites dying in general, but in Tetro especially. Sasaki was my favorite in CH1. Oka and Chiba competed for my favorite status in CH2. And now Oka and Tsuno were my favorites in CH3. I haven’t decided who is my favorite of the people still alive, but Hiroaki, Tamba and Yanagi are on thin ice (pun intended for Yanagi).

In particular, I’m not upset at all about Oka’s death. I think you put it best in some of your posts: she wasn’t gonna last forever, so I just wanted her to go out with a bang, and she went out with the equivalent of a nuclear blast. Her supervillain reveal is probably my favorite scene in all of Tetro, I can’t immediately think of any other that matches up to it in my books. Just completely unhinged behavior after what was probably my favorite trial so far, which is impressive given the whole “CH3 curse” canon dangan usually had.

She was just extremely entertaining, what can I say? Her insults, her taunts, her crazy beef with Tsuno, everyone’s reactions, all simply peak. And I know this might seem like a weird thing to focus on, but her background music is lovely. One of my main gripes with the Tetro format (and this is just personal preference, don’t take it as criticism because it isn’t) is the lack of bg music, so of course I’m glad my fave gets her own theme. Monarch shit.

And, come on. How often is it that both of your favorites have a storyline connection as peculiar as the whole “nemesis” thing these two had going on? Like, it’s genuinely awesome, and the fact that it’s completely one-sided just makes it better! I kinda wish we could have seen Tsuno’s reaction to this, because holy hell. How would you even react to this???

Oh, and the Watari thing. I’ve always been a sucker for terribly evil characters who have a soft spot for a nice person. Watari’s despair while Oka’s having the time of her life is genuinely awesome, and Oka clearly liking the time she spent with Watari is fun.

I do feel like I’m missing stuff, though? Like, I‘ve seen some analysis in Tumblr about Oka’s backstory which I assume is revealed in Staffside, because I have no idea what these people are talking about but it sounds cool. I really- I gotta read Staffside, I think, it’s getting critical by now.

Oh yeah, btw. Oka’s Yonekura’s kid! Since I haven’t read Staffside, that only tells me something about Dr Yonekura and not so much Oka. I will thank Oka for Dr Yonekura dropping one of my favorite lines in Tetro, though. “[Does your daughter have] Any special skills?” is crazy.

That said, I am slightly upset that Tsuno died when she did. I wanted to see her crash out after learning Oka beat up Wada! I would have loved to see her react to Oka’s made up beef with her! I wanted to see her crumble and burn out even more than she already was! I would have loved for her to outlive Wada just to see her reaction! I am a normal person with normal desires of seeing my favorites suffer horrendously!!! But oh well, fangans gonna fangan, I guess. Can’t be too torn up about it. At least Oka’s beef with her remains legendary.

I also feel like I should at least mention Kamimura? It’s funny ‘cuz like. He’s just There. He ain’t got nothing to do with the most toxic one-sided ship in history, he kinda just got caught in the crossfire. I feel like his death here makes sense, though; he had his arcs, he had his development and stuff, and now we get to see Hasegawa crash out for up to 3 chapters which is awesome! Assuming a standard DR formula, of course.

Anyways, thanks for the ask! I really should probably post more about Tetro, so this gives me an excuse lol :v

#sorry if this lacks all kinds of structure i’m just writing whatever i’m feeling #so there’s not much thought put into it :p #tdrp #tdrp spoilers #tetro danganronpa pink spoilers #tetro danganronpa pink #okazaki hanano #do we tag the other name now #i’m assuming no #tsuno manami #kamimura kazutoshi #he was there too ig

24 notes · View notes

lvrrgirlll · 1 month ago

Text

Tolerate It (series)

Synopsis: Life as Patrick Zweig’s controversially young girlfriend should have been a dream, but it was anything but. He was a broken man. You were a girl who knew all too well. Who’s to say whether you’ve got it wrong now…

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Pairing: Patrick Zweig x fem!reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: smut, p in v, unprotected sex, finger sucking, switch!patrick and switch!reader, maybe cock warming (?), tiny bit of angst, half proofread

Notes: Haven’t updated in forever but I swear this will all come together pls stick with me! Also sorry if the time jumps are confusing lol, I’m trying something…

Previous part

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Part 4: The downtown lights

2020:

After that night you didn’t hear from Patrick again. You had honestly expected him to call or text, but he didn’t. It was radio silent. And at first you were glad for that. Of course, those feelings changed. As it sunk in how lonely you were…how lonely you had been even during your relationship, what with not telling anyone for fear of judgment or upsetting him, not to mention the fact that he clearly saw you as just some doting kid. It was embarrassing looking back. And it was embarrassing now that you missed him.

Some nights were harder than others. When you’d come back from parties with your friends, still drunk, you’d always think just how bad would it actually be if you texted him? You never did, obviously. But you wanted to, and that was enough.

2025:

“And Patrick Zweig has found his way back into the circuit, who would’ve thought, with a pretty good chance of winning this thing. What do you think?” The TV chattered away in the background, your ears perking up at the name. Patrick Zweig. You hadn’t thought of him in ages. So he made his way back into the game…that was surprising. Last you saw him, he was pathetic; a loser; a cheater. But there he was, on your hotel’s TV, living his dream. Go figure.

You had eventually gotten over him, mourning whatever you believed you had dreamt was there that he clearly did not feel, and moving on with your life. You dated others here and there, but nothing exactly lasted, so here you found yourself 23 and single. The world was your oyster. You had finished your degree and got a decent job working in marketing for a pretty known company. You weren’t very high in the ranks, but you had time to move on up. They had sent you and a few coworkers out to LA for a client meeting, which is how you found yourself sat in the hotel bar sipping a cosmopolitan while the TV blabbered on about your famous ex. In a strange way, you were sort of glad to see he had gotten back on his feet. Maybe he actually took your advice. Probably not, though. You doubted he thought twice about you after the breakup. How wrong you were…

2020:

Patrick had spent every day since that night trying to take your advice and get himself together. At first, he wallowed for a bit, wondering if you were naive enough to take him back after a simple apology. After the way you yelled at him, though, he doubted it. Eventually, he actually called his parents from his car, in Atlanta for a match.

“Patrick?” His mother questioned him through the phone.

“Hey Mom, um, h-how are you and Dad doing,” Patrick offered awkwardly. He was making an effort. There was a lingering silence on the other end of the phone. Patrick hadn’t spoken to either of his parents in at least a year, but probably longer. The last time they spoke all they really exchanged was a brief ‘I hope you’re well’ and then both parties carried on with their separate lives.

“We’re fine. Is something wrong?” Her speech was cold. She sounded confused and somewhat uncomfortable.

“Well, uh…no. Not really. I, uh…I just…” it was hard for him to be vulnerable, especially with his parents. He was lucky his mom had picked up and not his dad, as his dad was always harsher than his mom. “Listen, Mom, I know it’s a lot to ask, but uh…could I maybe borrow some money? I promise I’ll pay it back as soon as I can! I just kind of need to get my footing…it’s a bit embarrassing.” He mumbled that last part.

Again a lingering silence permeated the call. He was about to ask if his mom was still there when his dad picked up the phone.

“Patrick, I can’t understand you. You call at such an odd hour, obscurely asking us for money…how will I know exactly when you’ll pay us back? You don’t have a reputation for responsibility, and that is my failure, but it is a failure that we both must live with now.” His dad’s usual harshness came through, strong as ever. “Why borrow money? Why not just come work for us, be on the board? There’s good money to be had here…it’s a safe career. Tennis is behind you, son.” Patrick wouldn’t listen, though. Tennis was his life. He couldn’t let that go.

“No, Dad. You don’t understand. I’ve got a shot, really, I just need to be able to get there. Please. Lend me the money and I’ll make you proud. And…” he stammered for a moment. “And if I don’t…make you proud, that is, I’ll come join the board. Alright?” Patrick could hear the brief shuffling of his parents discussing his proposition. He knew what he was doing. He was confident that he wasn’t signing a death sentence here.

“Fine. How much do you need?”

2025:

In all honesty, it was hard to see him winning like this —literally. To see him doing so well…and having not heard a word about it…it hurt. As foolish as it was, you had sort of, deep down, held out hope that if he ever pulled himself together, he would reach out, let you know, and you could give it another go. Taking a sip from your drink, you resigned yourself to having to move on from your silly, childish hopes.

As you were wrapping up at the bar, paying the check and getting your coat, you noticed a certain someone, however, just coming in. It couldn’t be…

“Patrick?” You asked in astonishment. He looked up from his phone, expecting a fan, but finding you instead.

“Y/N? Wha- what are you doing here?” You had heard that same question 5 years ago in that dive bar, but this time you were delighted to hear those words.

“I- uh…I’m here for work. What are you doing here?”

“I’ve got a match around here in 2 days, so I’m here to get familiar with the area first. It’s this thing my coach’s got me doing.” Hearing him reference a coach was refreshing. If you had kept up with him more, you might know who his coach is; he’d be happy to tell you of all people how he reunited with his former best friend and how Tashi Duncan now coaches him, but that’s besides the point.

“Oh, nice…” there was a brief pause, neither of you exactly knowing what to say. “You look good,” you remarked.

“So do you,” he replied with his usual swagger, but a genuineness lying beneath it. “Would you want to get a drink with me? Y’know, it’s been so long. It could be nice to catch up.” Who would you be to deny him?

That’s how you found yourself now in a bar— well, more like a small club— with famous tennis player, and your ex-boyfriend, Patrick Zweig. He insisted on going somewhere better than the hotel bar, so you two walked beneath the cool hues of the street lights to an intimate little club he’d heard of, with a great bar. It wasn’t overly classy, but it wasn’t a trashy club either. It was sort of like Patrick: open but intimate, smooth with a rugged edge, and comfortable but unpredictable.

“So what are you doing now?” Patrick asked before taking a sip of his beer.

You shrugged. “Nothing too interesting, just marketing. Trying to work my way up, y’know?” He nodded in response, taking another sip. “What about you? Clearly you took my advice?” Your body felt hot as you asked him that, half worried he’d completely forgotten about that night and your whole speech. Honestly, you still felt like a fool in front of him, reduced to nothing but your pure emotions. To your surprise, he chuckled.

“Actually, yeah, I did. To be honest I was sort of broken up about the whole thing. I wasn’t ready for a wake up call like that, but it’s what I needed. I have you to thank for where I am today.” His kind words were shocking, honestly off putting coming from someone so notoriously cocky. You almost didn’t know how to reply.

“Me?” There was absolutely no way in your mind he did all of this for you.

“I mean…I had always hoped…at some point or another we could be together again…y’know, give it another go,” he looked up from his drink then, eyes questioning you dangerously, but longingly too. He had missed you. He had thought of you. He wanted to be with you.

And who could refuse Patrick Zweig?

You didn’t bother responding, partly your longing for him taking over, partly the couple of drinks you had had, as you lean forward and pull him into a passionate kiss. Though he seems surprised at first, he settles into it quickly, opening his mouth and deepening the kiss. He reaches for the back of your head for leverage, effectively taking control here. You didn’t mind that though. Being this close to him you could take in the scent of his cologne. It was the same one you had bought for him when you were first together. God, having some restraint was going to be a lot harder than you thought.

Luckily, it seemed Patrick was feeling the same, as his cold hands snaked around your neck, pushing your hair away from your face before leaning in close and whispering “wanna go to my hotel room?” He asked so softly that you almost felt like you had imagined it. But your other senses confirmed you hadn’t. The chill on the back of your neck that ran down your spine at the feeling of his hand…his hot breath fanning across your chest…taking in the sight of him in such need and so close to you after so much time apart. This was real and this was happening, and you felt completely powerless at the will of Patrick.

“Mhmm,” was all you could offer in such a state of awe. You nodded lightly, eyes blown as you reached for his hand, a smile gracing your lips.

“There’s my good girl,” he smirked as he took your hand, leading you out of the bar at a quick pace. You two walked beneath the downtown lights, practically racing back to the hotel. This wasn’t just about sex…not for you anyways. This was your chance to reconnect with Patrick, someone you really had loved, in every possible way. It felt like the world’s possibilities had opened up again. There was a new brightness to everything that you hadn’t seemed to notice in his years long absence. But it was there again now.

When you two reached the hotel, it was hard to contain yourselves as the elevator slowly climbed to the 13th floor where Patrick was staying. “Lucky number 13,” he has remarked, giving you a wicked grin as he pressed the button in the elevator. Upon finally getting to his room, the two of you were on each other again like wild animals. He pushed you up against the door, kissing from your lips down to your neck. He looked up at you devilishly before making quick work of the buttons on your blouse. He leaned in once more, placing warm kisses along your clothed breasts. “I missed you baby…” he mumbles against your skin. God, you missed him too. You push him off of you then, surprising him as you pull him further into the room and towards the bed.

“I can’t wait, Pat…forget the foreplay, I need you,” you almost beg him as you work to remove the rest of your clothes.

“Shit, you don’t have to tell me twice,” he chuckles out as he follows suit. When you’re ready you lay on the bed looking up at him sweetly, innocently, as if you had no clue what you do to him. You did, of course, but it was fun to make it seem so effortless. He climbed over you, his arms caging you against the bed as he smiled down at you. Practically doing a push up, he came down to kiss you tenderly before eyeing you carefully. “You wanna do this baby?” Always the gentleman, he had to make sure.

“Uh huh, I do. I really do, Pat,” you whimpered back, riddled with need. He nodded then, lining himself up against your entrance before sinking deep within you. The feeling of being filled so completely was beyond what any words could truly describe.

“Oh, fuck baby,” he murmured as he started to move, slowly at first, seemingly for his own sake of lasting more than yours. His pace picked up quickly, though, leaving you both a moaning mess. As his hips pistoned between your thighs, moving in and out with such a sweet rhythm, a thought crossed your mind. You were feeling needy, that was true, but you remembered how needy he could be too way back when. And if he could be like that then, then after not seeing you for so long…you were curious.

“Fuck, Pat, c’mere,” you whined as you motioned for him to lean down, close to your face. He followed your instruction, pressing the weight of his body against yours as you looked at each other face to face.

“What is it babe,” he asked as his hips continued to snap in and out of you rapidly. Without saying another word, you flipped the two of you over with surprising ease. You sat up, now on top, riding him like there was no tomorrow. “Fuck- holy shit- babe, oh my god, shit- don’t stop,” he moaned. You liked hearing him like this, but he could be a bit loud. Not wanting to wake the neighbors, you smirked down at him as you rode, bringing your fingers up to his mouth and quirking an eyebrow at him.

“Wouldn’t want to be too loud…” you remind him as he takes your fingers in his mouth, moaning around them this time. It didn’t really change much sound wise, but fuck if it wasn’t hot. To see him like this too after so much time…it was good to know you still held some power. (Or at least, you thought you did). Feeling that familiar hot feeling in the bottom of your stomach, you knew your high was close. Patrick’s must’ve been too because you could feel him twitch inside of you whenever he hit that spongey spot deep inside. “Fuck, Pat…m’gonna…m’gonna,” you whimpered from atop him.

“Me too, princess, me too,” he gasped out around your fingers. He sounded so breathless…it was so beautiful. “Fuck, here it comes,” he moaned as he threw his head back, releasing inside of you in hot sticky ropes. That sent you over the edge as you cried out in high-pitched, intelligible squeals. As your climax ended, you collapsed onto Patrick’s chest, leaning into him. He was still inside of you as you laid on him sleepily.

“Mmm, thank you,” you murmured. He laughed at your words, reaching to pet your hair from beneath you.

“You don’t have to thank me for fucking you, babe, it’s what boyfriend’s do.” It was new, strange, and unfamiliar to hear him so willingly refer to himself as your boyfriend, especially after such a whirlwind reunion. But you weren’t upset. It was nice if nothing else.

“Hmm, yeah, you’re right…boyfriend,” you mumbled into the bare skin of his chest. He smiled at you as you drifted off to sleep. He’d wake you in a bit and get you both cleaned up, but you looked too peaceful right now. And of course he’d have to buy you a morning after pill tomorrow, but again, it’s what boyfriends do, right?

#challengers #patrick zweig fic #patrick zweig #patrick zweig angst #patrick zweig x reader #challengers angst #challengers fic #challengers movie #challengers smut #patrick zweig smut #tolerate it series #tolerate it #cordelia writes

38 notes · View notes