#I should not feel like I miss you but I do and it sucks
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Not really sure what incongruous means so I'll look it up after but it does feel like as i get older life gets more complex theres more things i understand now that sure i knew about them before but not in great detail but it feels like I've become so fucking complex as a person that if i tried to explain what i actually think and feel it would just overwhelm a person so i try and section myself off into pieces and just use different parts of me with different situations or people and it may just be because ive spent most of my time these past 2 almost 3 years now alone with nothing to do but think and figure myself out that when im asked what i think about something slightly personal its kinda hard to say it just got lost in my head somewhere and that whatever i think will change at a moments notice like i can bring up memories of lots of things and remember nostalgic times but i spent so long thinking about why i feel a certain way or what makes me feel a certain way in order to try and get a better hold of myself that ive kinda forgotten alot of my past like so many memories that i made are just gone because remembering them made me feel a way i dont want to feel like i remember realizing the beginning of 6th grade that i had completely forgotten 5th grade and the reason why was because that time i had was so nice yet not at the same time my brain just frogot because it didn't want a reminder of how good yet not something can be like great teachers who for the first time ever actually seemed to care as far as i could tell class mates who were generally friendly and occasionally checked on me if i seemed off yet i felt so alone cause nobody there really seemed like a real friend like the friends i had before who even when we were in deep trouble wouldn't rat me out and would stick with me who genuinely cared and missed me if i was sick getting older and not having anyone to socialize with for really formative years off my life has made understand those really old dudes who are nice and always up to make friends but just seem extra lonely for some reason despite knowing so many people i guess technically being that alone did hurt me but i kinda learned that im just not alone ever when im outside theres always some squirrels birds or plants nearby that make it more lively its why ive grown so fond of certain forested spots they are always lively and it feels like hanging out with all my friends its also why i enjoy making things like with metal or wood stone or even writing and painting those things feel alive in a way same with music and having time to think so much has made me reflect and realize that no day is the same and even when something changes something else stays the same or gos back to how it was in a weird cycle like growing but remembering where you were growing older for me anyways is like gaining more skills and more knowledge not just on the stuff around me but on myself too obviously people change sometimes pretty quickly too but getting older makes you learn more about yourself which duh that how life works but still it feels weird to be aware of it at 17 when it feels like i should still be trying to figure out my favorite youtuber or something not contemplate who i am as a person and what makes me feel the way i do but its a good kind of weird and theres always more to learn and find so i still have plenty of room to learn more about myself still not being able to really fully let a person know you kinda sucks but to be fair that is a rather special thing its also nice being able to put into words why i feel a certain way so that i can actually explain myself instead of just going quiet cause i dont know myself that well still kinda funny to know your own problems but not be able to jusy fix them when you know its a very deep problem even when it seems surface level and damn i got kinda personal there woops also just noticed that im shaking so might be overwhelmed remembering 5th grade which is probably why i frogot it or at least thought i did
anybody else feel that being human is like being a long-time syndicated cartoon character watching the world get more complex while your own design stays the same until youre incongruous with the reality around you??
#Anyway im gonna see if i can calm down and mabye froget 5th grade again#not remembering stuff can hurt sometimes so dont try it i already fucked up learn fro. my mistakes
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hot cocoa with rafe âgive me attentionâ and âthat was kinda hotâ fluff or smut
i like this combinationđââïž
CW: fluff w a sprinkle of smut, bsf!rafe x bsf!reader, heated kissing, thigh riding, praise.
note: iâm not sure how i feel about this, hopefully yâall like it! i went the best friend route with this, hopefully thatâs okayđ€
5k moodboard/blurbs m.list
ârafe!â you huff, throwing one of the small throw pillows on his bed at his face and crossing your arms over your chest.
he lowers his phone into his lap, a small smirk on his face. âwhatâs up, princess?â
you roll your eyes, letting out a deep breath. youâd been at his house for over an hour now, and he hasnât paid you any attention, choosing to keep his face buried in his phone instead. he was your best friend, and you knew it wasnât fair of you to demand attention, but he called you over, saying heâd wanted to see you, so it was only fair he paid attention to you. right?
âgive me attention, or else iâm gonna go home.â
rafe locks his phone, setting it on his desk face down before standing from the chair he was in. he slowly steps toward you, sitting himself on the side of his bed, the mattress dipping from his weight.
âalright, alright. âm sorry, i just⊠iâve been dealing with a lot, you know? iâll be taking over my dads company soon and heâs been riding my ass harder than usual,â he pauses, his large hand gripping at your forearm and uncrossing your arms, grasping one of your hands in his. âyou know iâve missed you, princess. thatâs why i called you over.â
you canât help the blush that covers your cheeks, a small smile creeping onto your lips. you slowly intertwine your fingers with his, rubbing soothing circles around the back of his hand with your thumb. rafeâs eyes land on yours, his hand lightly squeezing yours as he gives you a small smile back.
ârafe, you know i love you, and iâm sorry your dads been riding you so hard⊠but whyâd you call me over if you should be focusing on learning the ins and outs of the business right now? its obvious thatâs where all your attention is right now, and itâs okay! i understand, i just-â
rafeâs lips land on yours, momentarily shutting you up. you melt into the kiss, heat enveloping your body as you scoot yourself closer to him. rafe was your best friend, you were just friends, but you were friends who sometimes found yourselves crossing that line that separates your friendship from your feelings. and truth be told, you were in love with rafe, but you knew he didnât feel the same, he didnât want to ruin what the two of you had, so you kept your mouth shut, locked away your feelings and allowed things to continue on the way they were.
rafe releases your hand, wrapping his strong arms around your waist and pulling you into his lap. he never breaks his lips from yours, pushing his tongue past the seam of your lips, tangling his tongue with yours. his hands grip tightly at your ass, pulling a desperate moan from you, your hips unconsciously grinding against him.
âi wanted you here to help me take my mind off the company, i needed a distraction, and who better than you to help turn my mind off, even if just for a minute.â rafe rasps against your lips.
you laugh, running your hands over his buzzed head, your lips leaving a soft kiss to them before pushing back slightly. âwhat do you need? anything, i just want you to relax.â
rafe quirks a brow, the left side of his mouth titling in a sinful smirk, one that makes your heart stutter in your chest.
âyou grinding on me just now was kinda hot,â he pauses, lifting you off his lap. he gently sets your feet on the ground, his fingertips pushing into the waistband of your cotton shorts, pushing until theyâre down your legs. he sucks in a sharp breath seeing you arenât wearing any panties, âfuck, princess. you come over here hoping weâd fuck or what?â
you slap his chest playfully, your eyes rolling as you tell him to shut up. he chuckles, grabbing at your hips and pulling you back onto his lap. he situates you on his thigh, his fingers digging into your hips so hard youâre sure theyâll bruise. rafe begins guiding your hips, rubbing your bare cunt against his jean covered thigh. you moan at the feel of rough denim rubbing against your aching clit, arousal dripping from your hole and soaking his jeans.
âride my thigh, princess. get yourself off like this, thatâll make me feel better, to watch you get pleasure just like this..â
you open your mouth to speak but his lips are on yours, making anything you wanted to say die on your tongue. rafe kisses you like his life depends on it, swallowing every whimper and moan of his name that falls past your pretty lips.
you press your pussy harder into his thigh, rolling your hips and grinding against him, chasing the release he wants you to have. rafe digs his fingers into your hips harder, making you cry out into his mouth, ârafe! fuck, feels so.. so good..â you whisper against his lips.
rafe nips at your bottom lip, dragging it out with his teeth before releasing it, pressing his sweat slick forehead against yours, âi know baby, i know.. come on, be a good girl and make a mess on my thigh.â
you pick up the pace, grinding yourself against him faster, harder. your clit brushes deliciously against the rough fabric of his jeans making your pussy clench and unclench around nothing.
ârafe! âm so close.. gonna.. oh shit, rafe!â you cry out, heat coiling in your lower belly, clit pulsing before bright, white light clouds your vision. you fall forward, your face buried in the crook of his neck as you tremble in his hold, your orgasm rushing through you in waves.
âthatâs it, princess. make a fucking mess, such a good girl fâme arenât you?â
you press your lips against his neck, leaving soft kisses on the skin as your body continues to shake, arousal gushing from you and soaking your inner thighs and rafeâs jeans. finally, your body falls limp in his hold, your chest heaving as you try and catch your breath from the intense orgasm.
rafe kisses the top of your head, loosening his hold on your hips and pulling you from his lap. he lays you in his bed, pulling the blanket over the lower half of your body, âlook at that, made such a mess on me, princess.â he kisses the top of your head, âthat was kinda hot.. thank you.â
you hum in response, your eyes fluttering as you start to fall asleep, exhaustion taking over your body. âof course, youâre my best friend, iâd do anything for you.â
tagging some moots: @starkeysbabygirl @oceandriveab @rafeyscurtainbangs @rafesthroatbaby @starkeysprincess @starkeyisthelastname @rafesangelita @nemesyaaa @rafesvalentine @cherrygirlfriend @babygorewhore @bloodibambiidoll @sturnioloshacker
#kayâs 5k cellyđ#rafe cameron#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron smut#rafe smut#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#bsf!rafe#rafe fluff#obx#rafe obx#rafe fic#rafe x reader#outer banks smut#outer banks
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NEIGHBORHOOD
HOTTIE
pairing: nicholas a. chavez x black!fem!reader
cw: fluff and smut (18+ mdni)
hotneighbor!nicholas that just moved in next door to you. you heard from your neighborhood girlfriends that he was living alone, single, and utterly fuckable.
hotneighbor!nicholas who you curiously watch through the blinds of your window to see what the hype is all about. itâs definitely all true: your new neighbor was foine.
hotneighbor!nicholas whose muscles would flex as you observe him lugging the largest boxes of things he needed to unpack in such scorching weather. your thighs clench at the sight of the veins protruding on his arms. you didnât miss the stains of perspiration forming on his pristine white tank top that outlined the toned muscles of his abdomen.
hotneighbor!nicholas who would stop whatever heâs doing when he sees you coming by with two glasses of homemade lemonade. he could use a break. plus, he thought you were a sight for sore eyes with that orange sundress, glowing melanated skin, healthy natural hair, and full glossed lips. you lived right next door, so it was only fair for him to take up your welcoming offer.
hotneighbor!nicholas who you find to be so charming. he loves the lemonade and your company. you both exchange basic information about yourselves, but he doesnât miss the opportunity to throw some game. âif iâd known my neighbor wouldâve been so beautiful, i wouldâve moved a lot sooner.â he finds it cute at how bashful you get when he compliments you.
hotneighbor!nicholas who obviously asks for your number for âneighborlyâ reasons. you happily give it to him because itâs not everyday someone would this hot was putting the moves on you like this.
hotneighbor!nicholas who subtly watches the rhythm of your hips sway beneath that sundress after you bid him a farewell, so he could continue unpacking. he wanted to talk to you longer. he wasnât sure how, but he wants to get close to you as possible, as soon as possible. if you catch my drift.
hotneighbor!nicholas whoâd send you good morning and good night texts or heâd just simply check on you. youâd tease that it should be the other way around because heâs the new neighbor and you should be the one making him feel welcome. heâd be such a flirt. you can make me feel welcome in many other ways. đ
hotneighbor!nicholas who you see taking daily jogs through the neighborhood early in the morning when you go out to get your mail. he wears nothing, but basketball shorts, a cross necklace, and some sneakers. you melt as the sweat of body leaves a heavenly shine on his tanned skin. heâs so built, so fit, so thick. god, the things youâd do have him on top of you right now.
hotneighbor!nicholas whoâd ask if you like to take a jog/walk with him whenever you were available. you werenât the exercising type, but there was no harm in it because you wanted to spend time with him anyway, so why the hell not? on those occasions, youâd get to know each other better. youâd wear a sports bra and shorts that nicholas would find to be ravishing on you, but heâd think youâll look better without them.
hotneighbor!nicholas whoâd help you out with various tasks like gardening. he had a green thumb, so he was a huge help to you when you wanted to plant some fresh strawberries. you love to watch him till, dig, sow seeds, and water the fruit, so it would grow to be the reddest, ripest strawberries for picking, washing, and eating.
hotneighbor!nicholas who you invite over to your house to make treats such as strawberry shortcakes or just to dip them in chocolate sauce while streaming a show on hulu or netflix. heâd use his thumb to swipe away any whipped cream or chocolate from the corner of your lip then suck it right off in front of you while holding his intense brown gaze with yours.
hotneighbor!nicholas whoâd watch you from his bedroom window as youâd strip your clothes before going into the bathroom to shower. he couldnât see your actual naked body, but heâd see the shadow of your nude silhouette outlining the shape of your breasts, the erected point of your nipples, and the curve of your hips and ass. it gets him rock hard every time and heâd have to take care of it himself.
hotneighbor!nicholas who you watch practice throwing a football in his backyard shirtless. his arms are massive. you imagine what it would feel like having them secured around your waist. he couldâve went to the pros, no question, but youâre lucky that you get to see this up close and personal instead of a loud, crowded stadium.
hotneighbor!nicholas who you go to for help when your car wouldnât start. you didnât mean to interrupt him as he was looking like a greek god while bench pressing what seemed to be a weight of 150-60 lbs. he doesnât mind helping you because he knows the basics, so he comes over promptly with some tools to see whatâs under the hood. you spectate as he meticulously rummages and moves within the car.
hotneighbor!nicholas whoâs so focused in finding the root of the issue. his brows are furrowed and he tucks his bottom lip between his teeth while his hands move like clockwork. you notice a piece of hair fall from in front of his face and he attempts to blow it out the way, but to no avail. you take it upon yourself to brush it back. he feels the lingering touch of your palm through his scalp, his mind already going to the gutter.
hotneighbor!nicholas whoâd ask for you to get your car keys after heâd find the solution and close the hood. he instructs you to get in the car and start it now. once you comply, the engine is purring like normal. feeling grateful, you sing your praises to him. âletâs see you have a green thumb and youâre a skilled mechanic. is there anything else your hands are good for?â you ask, crossing your arms. heâd give you a playful lopsided smirk with a flirtatious glint within his eyes, âthey could do a couple thingsâthatâs if youâre willing to find out.â he knew exactly what he was doing.
hotneighbor!nicholas who you invite over for dinner to repay him for fixing your car. you werenât sure if youâd see this as a date, but you still wanted to make a good impression. you do your hygiene and youâd put on a black square necked top with a long black, floral slitted skirt around your waist. you prepare a spread of your speciality dishes and bring out your best wine.
hotneighbor!nicholas whoâs a gentleman that shows up at your front door with flowers. he cleans up nice with a black button up thatâs slightly unbuttoned to show off his signature gold cross necklace with some leviâs, dress shoes, and a rolli on his wrist. damn! you graciously take the flowers and giving him a brief hug. it was short-lived, but inhaling his clean, musky scent while he places his large palm against the slightly exposed small of your back had you feening.
hotneighbor!nicholas that enjoys every single thing that youâve cooked for him. heâs so content in the meal, he informs you that when he settles down he hopes to have a wife that looks and cooks just as good as you. hopefully, you were picking up what he was putting down.
hotneighbor!nicholas who genuinely enjoys your company, your smile, your laughter, your humility, your confidence, your wit, your intelligence, your humor, your insight, your passion, your kindness, your empathy, your honesty, and your absolute everything.
hotneighbor!nicholas who tells you heâs now craving for dessert. oblivious to what he actually meant, you tell them thereâs some leftover strawberries and chocolate sauce in the fridge, so you go to retrieve the items and go to prepare them on the counter with your back turned to him.
hotneighbor!nicholas who gets up from his seat at the table and saunters over to you to slide his large hands around your waist. a smirk rises on his lips as soon as you freeze from his touch. he bring his lips against your ear to whisper, âiâm craving something sweeter than that, doll.â heâd pull you in closer, so that the plushness of your ass would meet his hardened arousal.
hotneighbor!nicholas who peppers fiery kisses all around your neck. when you whimper out his name, it drives him to push aside whatever was in front of you on the counter. he turns your body to face him completely before hoisting you up on top, so that his lips could finally be attached to yours in a fervent kiss. your arms instantly wrap your his broad shoulders as he brings your legs around his hips while your tongues desperately swirl around another. you both had been waiting for this moment for weeks on end.
hotneighbor!nicholas who slides between the slit of your skirt to spread your thighs wider, so that he could rut his hips up against yours like an animal in heat. âyou see what you fuckinâ do to me?â he rasped whenever his growing, stiff girth came in contact with your already damp center.
hotneighbor!nicholas who easily slips his hands beneath your skirt. his fingertips fidgeting with the waistband of your panties. he wants to dive straight in, but he wonât go further unless you verbally give him the green light. to him, you may be this sexy piece of ass that deserves some good dick thrown your way, but also youâre worthy of respect towards your boundaries in your house. heâs just being a good neighbor.
hotneighbor!nicholas who once he has your consent, deliberately slides your soaking underwear off for his thumb to instantly reward your clit with pressured circles. he chuckles as you beg him to delve his fingers inside of you. âdamn, have a little patience, baby. mâgonna take care of you.â
hotneighbor!nicholas who wastes no time to slip his index inside just to stretch you out a little before his middle joins in the party. his thumb is still doing circles around your clit as his fingers curl and bump against the gushiness of your wet walls. with each moan of his name escaping your mouth, he gains in speed.
hotneighbor!nicholas whoâs a bonafide munch. he takes his fingers away and kneels down with his head right in front of your awaiting, wet pussy. he demands that you look at him as his tongue takes a deliberate lick against your dripping slit. your hands grasp onto his head for dear life as he makes out with your pussy. his tongue may move in varying speeds and shapes around your clit. it drives you crazy when he hums while shaking his head side to side rapidly to go as deep as possible while he gets you to your high. âah, fuck, this pussy is the best thing thatâs ever happend to meâwant you to cum all over my face, baby. câmon, give it to me.â
hotneighbor!nicholas who continues to remove the rest of your clothes until youâre completely bare. he stares, mesmerized because youâre more beautiful than he could ever imagine. you reciprocate the praise after you help him out of his clothes. he finds it so sexy of how crazy you are for him. you even make the man flush with red.
hotneighbor!nicholas who already has a condom ready, but youâre on the pill and you want to feel all of him, so you let him know heâs good to go.
hotneighbor!nicholas who shudders in ecstasy as he fills you up inch by inch until his tip mingled with the edge of your cervix. he gives you a moment to properly adjust to his size before he begins to give you the immaculate strokes of his skilled hips.
hotneighbor!nicholas who has the stamina of a sexually starved madman as you go for many rounds in different parts of your house. the counter, sofa, your bed, and lastly the shower. he takes you in different positions and angles that no man has ever done with you before and heâs made you cum first each time. he could go all night, but he sees that from being so fucked out and overstimulated, he decided it was time for some proper aftercare and a goodnightâs sleep in the nude. he was by far, the best fuck youâve ever had. what are good neighbors for?
#black reader#black girl#nicholas chavez#nicholas alexander chavez#nicholas chavez x black reader#nicholas chavez x reader#nicholas alexander chavez smut#nicholas alexander chavez fluff#nicholas alexander chavez headcanons#hot neighbor#x black reader#nicholas chavez x y/n#nicholas chavez x female reader#nicholas chavez imagine#nicholas chavez x black y/n#nicholas chavez fanfiction
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SHOULD TELL MY BOYFRIEND WHAT IâVE BEEN DOINââ BEEN THINKINâ OF YOU, EVERY TIME I SCREW HIM!
a/n: iâm just a toji girl what can i say??
warnings: cheating kinda? reader fucks her bf while thinking about toji :p I DO NOT CONDONE CHEATING THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION!! porn without plot hehe
synopsis: whatâs a girl to do when her lame boyfriend canât even make her cum? start daydreaming about that sexy ex that had her squirting with barely a flick of his wrist of course!
being all alone on a saturday night is not for the weak. sitting on the couch with your loving boyfriend but still feeling all alone is also not for the weak.
you pride yourself on your strength, the sheer will power and determination you have to not curl your lips in disdain when his fingers travel up your thigh suggestively and you can see how hard he is already. the outline of his below average cock pushing against his sweats. in the beginning of your relationship you found it flattering, almost attractive how easily he got all squirmy under your hooded gaze.
then you saw him hiding his erection under a pillow the night the two of you watched to all the boys i loved before and the hot tub scene flashed across the tv. then it didnât feel special anymore, knowing he was just acting like a horny teenager.
not a man.
nothing like toji.
you almost let out a gasp as the older manâs face flashes across your mind, tucking your lip into your teeth. your boyfriend chuckles in your ear, thinking that your reaction was because of his soft touches. but he didnât know the sweet spots to caress, the places that had your heart racing and thighs clenching.
your mind fills with guilt as you blink rapidly, trying to extinguish the thoughts of your ex from your mind.
âcome on pretty girl,â tojiâs voice pierces through your skull, the memory of his husky tone making you let out a whimper as your eyes flutter closed, âknow youâve been missinâ me.â
thick fingers pull your shorts and panties down just a little too harshly and your eyes almost snap open but toji speaks again.
âshh, just missed this pretty pussy sâall.â
you can feel his breath on your throbbing clit and your hips buck softly, he chuckles and places the gentlest kiss on your clit making you mewl.
âpatience is a virtue, baby.â
you can feel him smirk against your skin, the scar on his lip brushing against you as he places kisses along the inside of your thighs.
âplease,â you breathe out, your hand tangling in his soft hair and tugging. trying desperately to get his mouth where you need it most. a shriek like moan falls from your lips when toji's scared mouth wraps around your clit and gives a harsh suck.
"taste s'fucking good princess," he groans against you, big hands digging into the meat of your thighs as he prys your legs further apart. he drags his tongue along your syrupy folds, making your eyes roll back your hips buck up.
"stay still f'me," he grumbles against your soaked pussy, his hand landed harshly on your thigh, "stop squirmin' and let me eat."
his vulgar words shoot straight to your core and you throb against him. moans falling freely as you tug his hair.
you let out a strangled yelp as two of his thick fingers press against your tight entrance, gently pushing in and curling just right. your hips are twisting wildly, your legs shaking as his fingers scissoring and stretch you open.
"f-fuck," you sob, back arching practically off the couch. you can feel the way toji's tongue begins to move fast, feel the way his hips are humping the leather seat underneath you.
"please- please m' so close," you moan.
"cum for me ma."
thats all it takes for you to burst. your vision goes white as you shake violently, mouth falling open in silent scream. soft hands that feel just a touch smaller than before caress your thighs gently as you come to.
"you haven't ever cum that hard before," someone says with a soft chuckle. your eyes snap open, expecting to meet sly green ones but to no avail. looking back at you is your boyfriend, your chest is still heaving and your face is flushed. you gulp as guilt hits you.... for just a minute you really thought...
"uh yeah.." you mutter sheepishly, "guess i've just been pent up..."
your boyfriend laughs and rests his head on your leg. you almost flinch from the contact, mind still reeling with shock and guilt.
"we literally had sex yesterday, have i been neglecting you?" he teases.
yes, absolutely, toji would have had known that i've been faking it the whole time, you think bitterly. but you smile sweetly and shake your head.
"what can i say? ... i just can't get enough of you."
he smirks devishly and stands up extending his hand,
"wanna take this to the bedroom then?
you swallow hard and sigh before taking his hand with a nod and forced grin.
"... of course."
#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk smut#toji x reader#toji x you#toji x y/n#toji smut#tw cheating
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I really don't care for the "true alpha" thing, and there are plenty of other people's posts about why, but I can't stop thinking about what it does to Scott and his character.
like, seasons one and two he's constantly fighting for NO ONE to be murdered, because he believes that you can't justify it and it's wrong. fair enough. this insistence places him at odds with people he might otherwise get along with, solidifying him as an underdog. even his alliance with Derek is tenuous, as Derek sees murder as necessary to keep people safe and Scott doesn't. but BECAUSE he's an underdog he has to work with the people around him and convince them why they shouldn't kill, he isn't powerful enough to stand on his own.
but in the later seasons.... he doesn't have that??
as the true alpha, his power hinges on him not killing people. while it would be unreasonable to say that his former stance is completely GONE, pessimistic fans (like me, hello hi how's your day) can make the case that he doesn't kill because he would be less powerful if he did, at least in part. it COMPLETELY cuts the teeth off his moral argument, which sucks because the show still has at least twelve more moral arguments left.
hes also completely LOST the underdog angle. he and Derek are finally chill, thankfully, but he's suddenly the most powerful cool guy in the area, the first of his kind in years, with super special powers just for him. about a season before he lost a fight with a guy who had been a werewolf for all of two seconds. and you know how before he had to convince other people to join his side and work with his plan? yeah no now he can just yell at them and they'll do whatever he says, magic rules.
No matter how you feel about season one and two Scott, it's undeniable that he is fighting an uphill battle that just kind of plateaus as of Season Three. and I love season three, but I feel like, if it did happen, it should have been closer to the end of the show
(And for all the talk about the McCall pack being weird and unconventional, they still fall in that same power structure that EVERY PACK EVER falls into. I think it would be more interesting if they didn't and their pack is even MORE of a mess to werewolves. take, for instance, the underlying subplot of seasons 1-3 that Beacon Hills doesn't have an alpha (at least a good one sorry Derek) and is there for ripe for the taking. a big reason that Derek wanted Scott in his pack was that he didn't want to be seen as weak or targeted by hunters, even other werewolves. they don't get along but they HAVE TO or else they straight up DIE. But then in 3A they suddenly have an alpha (at least a good one sorry AGAIN Derek) and that plotline is dropped. they're still being hunted, but that anxiety about being a good enough pack is gone. which is weird, right? wouldn't you want to increase that tension?
imagine if they didn't actually HAVE an alpha. They still consider each other pack, but that's not good enough for anyone but them. especially at the start of season four? no alpha, their former alpha has gone MISSING, they haven't told anyone, they have to go get him but every second any of them is away the more their town is in danger, and oh FUCK our former alpha is a TEENAGER NOW?? AND NOW HES BASICALLY NOT WVEN A WEREWOLF??? not only having to deal with the mercenaries and Kate but also other werewolves trying to nudge into their territory?)
#scott mccall#teen wolf#i want to like scott. and i do! I just think that the true alpha thing is OBJECTIVELY a bad choice for his character#stiles stilinski#derek hale#sterek#mieczyslaw stiles stilinski#mccall pack#anti scott mccall i guess#true alpha nonsense
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I HEARD AN UNHAPPY ENDING
IT SORTA SOUNDS LIKE YOU LEAVING
Ooc bkugo?? Idc
I want to break the cycle, of this silly little are they are they not together. Itâs annoying, frustrating, jaw clenching, âso youâre not gonna go to the prom? Come on Kats Iâm sure itâll be fun. I know itâs very American but itâs still fun, we donât get to go to school dancesâ I reason, slinging my bag over my shoulder and pulling my hair out from under it, âI guess you donât have to go, I can go by myself with Ochako or Izuku. We can do a threesomeâ I tease slightly, peering over at him as he shoves his pencils into his backpack. I shuffle around my coat pockets and grab my car keys
âThatâs even more stupid, youâre all stupid I donât even know why you want to do that. Waste of time and moneyâ he grumbles. Eyes narrowed as I push the door open and start walking out, I know heâs watching me, I feel it in the back of my neck as I fuss with my hair, âhere, you left one of your hair clipsâ he takes my hand and shoves the pink clip into my palm, âyou keep leaving your stuff in my carâ
âOh! So thatâs why Iâm driving today? You wanna leave your sweaty gauntlets in my car huh?â I sass at him slowly making my way down the stairs and out into the student parking space.
âYeah, at least I smell good when I sweat, you just stinkâ I know heâs playful, and maybe Iâll miss this playfulness when I leave.
âYeah, not all of us have the components of candles in our sweat. Lucky bastardâ I unlock the car and he drops his stuff in the back and I start the engine.
He scoffs slightly and I slowly start backing out, âIâm gonna go. To the prom. After we graduate, I got an offer in Los Angeles. And I acceptedâ I explain, âitâs too good of an opportunity to pass up, my quirk is so water based to be that close to the ocean would- it would put me at the top in a controlled environment. With a mentor that- that understandsâ
âOh.. ok, well that- thatâs only like- a days flight away we can still hangout. Maybe over breaks I come see youâ He reasons, staring at his phone, âwhen did this happen?â
âAbout a month ago, I did so well on my exams and my stats were super high for a water quirk I was kinda in a league of my own.. so am I not going to see you at the dance?â
âNo, because theyâre stupid. And Iâll hold onto that- for ever. Or whatever you sayâ he shrugs and shakes his head. He doesnât click the radio on, just sits in silence staring out the window as I drive.
âJeez, yâknow maybe youâre just upset because you donât have a dateâ I tease gently but that longing feeling comes back, the one where I want to stay for him. In my imaginary world where weâre in love and that he would follow me to America or maybe I would stay here. In Japan where I donât belong.
âI donât- need a date to enjoy a dance. Youâre all I need to have fun, sucks that youâre leavingâ My heart jams in my chest. Iâm all he needs? Iâm twisting those wordsâ I have to be.
I sigh, long and deep as I park into my driveway. He gets out, grabs his stuff and starts to leave, âIn case I donât see you again.. Iâll miss youâ
âDonât be stupid y/n, we always find eachotherâ
I feel relief, a small amount of pressure is lifted off my chest.
âMmh you donât think itâs too much?â I ask Ochaco as she sprinkles the skin glitter on my collarbone, âI mean I know itâs âdancing under the starsâ themed but I donât need to actually shimmerâ
She shakes her head, smiling and gleaming as she brushes through her hair after she dusts me, âit goes with your eyes, you look.. like a star. Bakugo was stupid just to let you go. Youâre gorgeousâ
I roll my eyes at her, âyou look beautiful, the green suits you. And someone elseâ I tease gently and she flushes red
âItâs not like romantic or anything! Heâs just my date.. uh.. come on we should get goingâ
I didnât expect to see him there, dressed up his hair doesnât slick back. But he still looks dressy, âhello strangerâ I smile and grin and he perks up. Goes from staring at his phone to me.
âYouâre. Glittery?â He stares a little baffled, jaw dropped slightly, he closes and still looks.
âI am. Youâre here? I thought these were âa waste of time and moneyâ you going back on your word?â I perk an eyebrow at him.
âCanât let that depressing car ride be our goodbyeâ
Iâve never seen him unagressive, soft and kind. Something Iâve seen so rarely. He takes my hand, âand.. yâknow as long as I have you. In some stupid way I think I can enjoy these. But only if youâre hereâ he admires me softly. Taking my hand and following as I pull him onto the dance floor.
His hands intertwine with mine as we dance, music floods our senses. Some pop song, sounds so familiar and distant at the same time.
His hands on my hips and I sway underneath him, he stares at me with a fondness Iâve only seen my dad look at my mom with.
The beat kicks and I barely notice anyone but him, like the world has just dropped away and heâs all thatâs left, âI love you. I think. I always have. And Iâm scared I always willâ I whisper, itâs drowned out against the music and deep bass.
âHuh?!â He shouts out above the music
âI SAID I LOVE THIS SONG!â
âOH! OKAY!â
Itâs always been like this, unspoken words- and I said it. Drowned out by the music, by the noise of everyone else by us. I wish it wouldâve been different, maybe in another universe. But weâve grown up. From biting at each others throats to being able to drive in the same car together. It hits me with remorse, a little pang of pity as I look into those crimson eyes I used to fall asleep thinking about.
Iâm scared how much Iâll miss him, how his name is on every pro-con list Iâve ever written. When I was making the choice to leave. Katsuki was first person I didnât want to leave.
âIâm gonna get water!â I shout out, he shakes his head. But he follows me as I walk out, âIâm just getting water, donât- you donât have to follow me outâ
âNo. Itâs fine. Uh. I just need a breatherâ He grumbles. Twisting the watch on his wrist, âare you ok?â
âMnhâ I nod slightly, âmy feet are killing me! Hey! I donât have a ride out can I go with you?â I ask plopping down onto the grass
âYeah, yeah whateverâ he groans, âyou look nice. Donât. Donât really know if Iâve already said thatâ he takes his hand and rubs the back of his neck.
âIs this the right choice?â I ask him, looking up as he looks down, âmoving. California.. leaving it- feels right. I thinkâ
âYou think or you know?â He asserts, frowning down at me- the same look on our first day. When I fell over my shoelaces and ate dirt. He didnât laugh or tease. Gave me his hand and helped me up. But now he doesnât hold my hand. Now I have to get up on my own
I sigh, staring down at my shoes. Pondering, wondering, âthereâs nothing left for me here. The only thing I know- is that. The only thing tying me here is you. And I donât- I donât know what to make of thatâ
âYou can go. I donât- I donât fucking need you to hold my hand and. And you donât have to stay with me. Jesus I donât even know why you thought of that. Like youâre- weâre codependent on eachother because weâre not!â He throws his head up and cocks his leg, shaking his head with vigor, âgo. Go because we donât have anything to offer you anymoreâ
âOk. Iâll goâ I say, it feels so set in stone. Like this is how itâs going to be, âyouâll still call me?â
âSure.â
I want to tell him how I feel, I want to so so badly it burns at my stomach and makes me sick. Makes me violent and angry. But I donât, Iâm too scared to ruin this friendship. So nervously crafted and delicately touched I canât drop it on him. No matter how he looks at me, or how he sits next to me with his hands on his knees. How he looks over at me.
He leans in slightly, I follow. Our faces centimeters apart, heat radiating off the both of us, ây/nâ he whispers so softly but it echos in my brain. Rattling like a pin that has just fallen. I want to reach in, kiss him. Wrap my hands around his face and kiss the daylights out of him like Iâve never kissed someone before.
He kisses me, softly at first, but the longer it lasts the more vigor he finds his hands, balancing against my face. Gripping me and I grip back, âmnh Katsukiâ
âShut up. Just stop talking for five minutes and let me kiss youâ
And dear god did that sound like a deal to me.
#louiseabilenewrites#my hero acedamia#my hero academia#bakugo katuski#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugo katsuki#bnha bakugou#katsuki bakugo mha#katsuki bakugo x reader
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until dawn characters overhearing their partner saying something negative about them/their relationship
just a few short drabbles about the characters' weaknesses or worse traits and how they might react to hearing a partner talking about it. and wow, this actually took a while.
kind of angsty, but the endings of most of these are kind of open for interpretation
ashley
"i don't know, i just feel like we're stuck sometimes. we're not really doing anything. it's getting kind of boring."
ashley stopped dead in front of the door to your living room. she had wanted to spend a quiet evening at home with you, like you usually did on fridays but evidently you'd had other plans. and you obviously hadn't expected her to get home early. she flexed her hands, once, twice, and opened the door. the room went quiet, you and your friends looked at ashley. "babe, you're home." you smiled, not sure whether or not ashley had heard you. "sit down, i'm gonna get you a glass of wine." you patted the couch next to you. "no thanks. i think i'd rather go and be boring," ashley grabbed her laptop from the coffee table, "in the bedroom. alone."
beth
"seriously, her sister is over all the time. i know, i know they're twins and they're close and everything but i feel like aoutsider in my own relationship sometimes because she never says no to her family and i get the short end of the stick."
beth heard your voice drifting through the open window. you were on the patio, on the phone with your best friend while hanging out the laundry. beth was in your bedroom on the floor above, changing the sheets. are you fucking kidding me? beth sucked her teeth. she knew that you knew that she'd always been the most mature and stable of the washington siblings and that they were super close. "you know," she leaned out of the window. you looked up at her, startled. "you're my family, too. and i never say no to you." - "you heard that?" you groaned. "uh, yeah, me and like the entire neighbourhood. so what's wrong with me and hannah hanging out? it's only once a week." - "nothing, it'd just be nice to be included every once in a while." beth smiled widely at you. "aw, i didn't know you wanted to hang out with us. you should have told me."
chris
"he's always doing something on his phone, sending josh some stupid video or planning another dumbass prank with him. sometimes i think he stopped maturing past the age of 16."
you heard the front door close. apparently you had missed the jingling of chris' keys while you were busy looking for a salad bowl in the kitchen. "cool, didn't know you thought that way about me." chris dropped a plastic bag on your kitchen counter. "i brought dinner, got your favourite. thought i'd come over and we could hang out, maybe watch a movie or something. but it seems like you're busy." you had turned around to face him. "chris, i didn't mean it like that. i'm sorry." he was already on his way to the door. "no, you did." - "fine, maybe i did. but it doesn't mean that i don't love you. where are you going?" he was standing in the doorway, doing fingerguns at you. "josh's place. because i'm immature like that." the door closed and you pulled out your phone. can we talk about this? you walked back to the kitchen, the smell of your favourite food filling the room. thank you for dinner. - let's talk tomorrow, like adults?
emily
"emily wants this, emily wants that. emily gets what she wants, whenever she wants. it's all about her. i think she's her own favourite person in the world and everyone else are background characters for her enjoyment."
emily's phone pinged when she received the voice message. it was intended for your best friend but you had misclicked when opening the chat without realising it. she smiled when she saw your name on the screen and eagerly tapped on the little arrow to play the message. oh. the message wasn't for her. but you had thought of her alright. was she really that bad? her phone pinged again. don't listen to that. too late, she thought. i'm sorry, i didn't mean that. but you did, she knew. because she knew she was a bitch sometimes. because she knew that she had been selfish. no, you're right. she texted back. can i have a second chance?
hannah
"can you believe it? we had a fight and now she's packing her stuff to go sleep at her sister's place. she's blowing it out of proportion. talk about overreacting. everything is drama with her."
hannah had texted her siblings to come pick her up while she was throwing clothes and toiletries into a bag. whatever you were fighting about had escalated, both of you were to blame for that. but now you couldn't even wait until she was out of the house to talk shit about her? absolutely not. she knew she was sensitive but calling her dramatic was unfair. if she stayed, neither of you would sleep tonight. both of you needed to calm down. so naturally, hannah had called her twin sister and asked if she could stay with her for a few days. and naturally, beth had gotten in her car. the place was just too small for both of you to try to avoid each other after an argument. hannah was trying to give you space but sure, she was the one overreacting, not you in the living room, knowing full well that she could hear you. "you know what? if everything's drama with me, maybe i'll do you a favour and move out." hannah zipped up her bag and made her way to the front door. she heard a clatter as you dropped your phone. "what?" hannah was putting on her shoes now. "i said," she removed the butterfly keychain from her set of keys before putting them back. "i'm moving out. we're done." she walked out of the apartment and got into beth's car.
jess
"ugh, sometimes a part of me wants to shake her and ask her to just act like a normal human being. she's not perfect, so why does she pretend to be?"
last you checked jess was in the shower for her "self care day" ritual. that usually took a while, so you put in your earphones and called a friend while you were in the kitchen preparing dinner. you had jokingly complained that her long showers would drive up the water bill because she just had to keep up that image, that she was driving herself crazy competing with no one but her own ego. you hung up when you put the dish in the oven to clean up, maybe see if jess was done in the shower and have a pre-dinner glass of wine. you walked out of the kitchen and stepped right into a small puddle in the hall. ew, wet sock. "jess, can you leave the water in the shower next time?" you walked towards the bathroom and opened the door. jess was standing there in her underwear, a towel wrapped around her head and staring at her reflection. "hey. dinner's almost ready. you want a glass of wine?" she turned around to look at you. "do you think i'm vain?" her question took you by surprise. "what?" - "do you think i'm vain? i heard you talking about me and i want to know if you think i'm vain." she looked like she was about to cry. "jess, babe, no that wasn't what i meant. it's just- you try so hard all the time but you don't even need to. i love you just the way you are. you can be a little high maintenance, though." she sighed. "i know i'm not perfect-" - "you don't need to be." - "but can i still have that glass of wine?"
josh
"i feel like his caretaker sometimes. take your meds, take care of yourself, go to bed at a reasonable hour, don't drink too much, blah blah blah. i'm so over it. at one point he has to start living for himself and not just because everyone else bends over backwards for him."
you hung up the phone and turned up the TV's volume. when you went into the kitchen to get a drink, josh was there. "hey, when did you get home?" - "while ago," he shrugged. "why didn't you say anything?" you opened the fridge, looking for something you're in the mood for. water, or maybe some wine. "heard the TV, wasn't really in the mood for that." josh tapped his heel against the cupboard behind him. "okay. you want anything?" you pointed at the contents of the fridge. "wouldn't want to be a burden." he turned his head to look at you. "wouldn't want you bending over backwards to take care of me." he clenched his teeth. "yeah, i heard that, too." you let go of the fridge door and it closed slowly. "josh, i-" you started, trying to find something to say. "it's okay. i know i'm not always the easiest person to be around. but i'm trying, i'm getting better." you reached out to touch his hand but he pulled back. "i called chris. he's coming to pick me up." - "oh, okay. when are you coming back?" - "i don't think i should."
matt
"it's like matt doesn't even have any opinions of his own. he always just agrees with me. i don't think he has made a single decision in his life, ever."
it had been a week since matt had read your message. he had been using your laptop because he had forgotten his at home and your devices were connected. he hadn't planned on reading it but saw that it was about him. he hadn't even told his sisters or ashley about it and they were usually his go to people. maybe he was bad at making decisions. he hadn't decided how to handle this situation, anyway. yeah, you'd noticed that he had pulled away and asked him if something was wrong but he had made up an excuse about an assignment he had to turn in. he was still thinking about whether to ignore that he had seen the message or try to talk to you about it when you, once again, made a decision for him. his doorbell rang and when he opened the door, there you were, smiling at him. "hey, thought i'd come over. you're done with that assignment, right? can i come in?" maybe he'd finally make a decision. "actually, no. i don't think we should see each other anymore." your face dropped. "what? why? what happened?" - "guess i'm just making a decision for the first time in my life, ever. we're over."
mike
"he's such a fucking macho sometimes. i can literally not do anything without him swooping in and taking over because he thinks he's god's gift to humanity or something. right now he's putting up a shelf because he didn't think i could handle it. it's my place."
you were in your bedroom, sending a voice message to one of your friends. mike had finished putting up the shelf and was about to knock on your bedroom door to ask you if you wanted to grab something to eat when he realised you were talking about him. wow. guess you really needed to get that off your chest. he'd always thought he was just being helpful by offering to do stuff for you. was he really that overbearing? was he a macho? mike had always thought you were grateful when you accepted his help but maybe he'd misinterpreted the way you smiled at him earlier. it did look forced but he thought it was just the stress of moving. before he could move the door opened and you were face to face with him. "mike! were you eavesdropping?" - "not on purpose! but you were kind of yelling." he shrugged. "didn't realise you thought that i was such an ass. didn't realise i was being an ass." - "you're not an ass, just-" you started. "god's gift to humanity?" he said, pretending to fix an invisible halo. "i'm sorry, i promise i will stop swooping in and taking over and wait until you ask me for help. if you still want me."
sam
"we barely spend any time together. she's always doing something, hanging out with her friends, going climbing, running or swimming. are we even in a relationship anymore or just roommates? i don't even know where she is right now."
sam was right above you, watering the plants at the top of the stairs when you walked in. you were probably talking to a family member or a friend. about her. she wasn't sure if she should say something or not. she had continued watering the same plant while listening to your conversation and the water was overflowing now. it reached her feet and soaked through her sock. "crap." downstairs she heard you mutter a quick goodbye before you called through the house. "sam? are you home?" - "yeah, i'm here." she called back from the bathroom, looking for one of the ratty towels you used for spills. you had kicked off your shoes and were walking up the stairs. "don't move, i accidentally drowned gilbert." all the plants had names. sam emerged from the bathroom and threw the towel on the ground, swiping it around with her foot to wipe up the spill. "i didn't know you were home. did you, uh, hear me just now?" sam was staring at you. "yeah," she admitted. "i don't want us to be over. but i don't want to give up who i am, either." you nodded. "i know. compromise?" sam nodded back at you. "we can try."
#chris hartley#josh washington#matt taylor#mike munroe#ashley brown#beth washington#emily davis#hannah washington#jessica riley#samantha giddings#until dawn#until dawn imagines#until dawn drabbles
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Secrets (post war, bkdk, mutual yearning and idiocy)
Izuku quite liked settling into a habit with Kacchan, where the young ProHero would come visit the UA campus on their lunch breaks and they would share a meal together. He was still an understudy and teacher assistant, and so he didn't have his own classroom, but Katsuki could always find him through the windows.
The more they lunched together, the more Izuku happened to notice a lot of texts popping up on Katsuki's phone, sitting on the table next to where Katsuki scarfed down his daily bento.
He could see, when the little push notification popped up, the name "Pink Support Girl", popping up more and more.
He doesn't immediately think much of it, after all, Hatsume is a skilled, professional support tech now and he likely has her working on upgrades and fixes for his gear.
But sometimes, Katsuki will pick up the phone and check the message. And then, sometimes, this strange grin would show up on his face. And sometimes he would tap back a message at an alarming speed.
Izuku is intrigued by it. But whenever he hears the text alert on Katsuki's phone and sees Hatsume light up on the screen and concludes that Katsuki is very obviously in a deep back and forth...
He can't help but feel...strangely anxious.
One day, he sucks it up and asks awkwardly over lunch,
"Kacchan...are you and Mei Hatsume...dating?"
Katsuki chokes on his food a little and looks at Izuku like he's grown a second head.
"Dating?? What the hell are you talking about?"
Izuku regrets asking, but inches forward anyway.
"Sorry, it's intrusive of me! But i just... I notice you two have been texting a lot. I mean if you are, that's fine! I was just...curious?"
Katsuki's face traveled through a range of reactions as Izuku had babbled, but landed on a vague tinge of apprehension bordering on the guilt of getting caught in something.
Shit, he should have known better than to engage in those conversations too much in front of Izuku. Izuku is clever and observant, and he knew it. Of course he would catch on to something going on.
"Hell no," Katsuki didn't miss a beat, scoffing as he usually would. "There's a project I'm having her work on, it's kind of involved...she won't leave me alone with updates and shit."
Well, he couldn't exactly lie to his best friend and rival, after all...
The expression on Izukus face went from genuine confusion(and perhaps a hint of dread), to one of excitement.
"A new project? Oh my gosh, what is it? New gear? Is it new gauntlets?" The spark in his eyes showed that Izuku's nerd side had been activated. Katsuki snorted with a laugh, thinking that the teacher in training was seconds away from grabbing his current Quirk notebook to try to update his "Kacchan: GEMG DynaMight" entries in a flurry.
"Sure, sure," Katsuki accepted the assumption as his cover story. New gauntlets, truthfully, were on his to-do list, though he had prioritized them far below funding Izuku's secret suit. "I've got some big plans. You'll see." He grinned at Izuku, and Izuku recalled all the smaller grins that he had given to the texts from Mei.
Izuku smiled, now realizing that the grins were of deep pride for Katsuki, not at all of affection for a lover. He really was eager to share.
"Oh I hope so! I can't wait! If it's not too forward of me...again... is it too late to tell you and Hatsume my own thoughts on your gauntlets?" He asked, almost shyly.
Katsuki was tongue-tied, looking at the earnest, and frankly, adorable look on Izuku's face as he implored him. He felt his face heating up, feeling the rest of his resolve just melting. Izuku had no idea that this wasn't even about Katsuki's own gear...it was all for him. And Katsuki was aware enough now to know that Izuku truly wanted to help him, one of his most heroic(and attractive) features.
Katsuki felt a yearning inside; He wanted to share his secret so badly, wanted to show Izuku so many schematics and drafts that were buzzing constantly in his head as he went about daily life, but he knew, they were still years and a whole lot of money, from the point of reveal.
Katsuki caved to Izuku's request.
He leaned closer to Izuku, whose heart skipped a beat with the sudden proximity to the blonde.
"You have 10 minutes before I have to get back out to patrol," Katsuki said smoothly, only his crimson eyes slinking to the clock on the wall of the empty classroom, and back to smolder at Izuku's sparkling green eyes and flushed cheeks.
"Tell me what's in that nerdy notebook of yours."
--
B: Hey. Need to talk to you.
H: Sure, got those specs for me?? I need em asap
B: In a second.
B: I need to move all non-urgent communication to email
H: Inconvenient, inefficient. Absolutely not. Why??
B: Deku noticed how much we have been texting
B: thought we were dating.
H: lmao!!! Dating!!!
B: stfu I dont want him figuring out what is going on until it's time!!
B: Damn nerd too smart for his own good
H: đ
B: đ„đ„đ„ fuck off
H: no way to speak to your engineer. Specs please.
H: also hey, just mute your notifications and turn off push if you don't want him seeing who's texting you. I'm not waiting for emails while you're out doing hero stuff in the field all day. I'll start making my own executive decisions and charging you extra at that point!!
B: UGH FINE
B: hey...
B: there's one other thing...
H: what?
B: ....I need to get some new Gauntlets made.
#aaand thats how Katsuki got those new Gauntlets made after the war lmao#post war bkdk#drabble#bkdk fic#bnha spoilers#bakudeku#kacchan struggling to keep the suit a secret is hilarious to me#a bit of flirty kacchan towards that end#kacchan had to make gauntlets bc izuku was getting too clever#YEP ITS JUST GAUNTLETS NOTHING TO SEE HERE#katsuki bakugou is down bad#boys just date already#cut to izuku and katsuki poring over izukus notes and designing gauntlets together lmao
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Part 6 of this,
Macaque kept his eyes on Wukong as he flew away. When he couldn't see him anymore, loneliness took over his heart.
He just left, Why do I miss him already? Daaaamn *sigh* I'm so pathetic. No time to think like that. Macaque slapped his face with both hands.
The kid is still out there. If only I could use my glamour and talk to him. Come on Macaque, think! There should be a way to talk to him without having to show myself.
Macaque flopped on the bed.
But... Wukong truts him. He left my life in his hands. Maybe I could trust him too. He was with me and Wukong in the room when I woke up. But then I still had my glamour on, I lost most of my magic when I tried to open a portal to get to the kitchen. The more I tried to use my powers the more I lost them. I can't believe how much I've fallen. I need to get better soon, I can't keep being a burden to Wukong. If only I can remember what this crown is, I can break the spell, but most of my memories are gone!
Macaque grabbed a pillow and put it on his face to muffle the scream he was about to let out _"AAAAAGGGHHH!!!! THIS IS FRUSTRATING!"
Macaque let out an angry growl then got up and paced in the room, here and there, thinking of a plan to suck the information dry from that kid.
I only need one spell to work, one to cover my ears, it's ok if the scars stay, I'll just cover them with some clothes, not my eye though...
Something pinched Macaque's heart as he traced his eye. Whatever happened that day, even with no memories, he knows it hurt him deeply. He shook his head and pushed these thoughts back. If it were something important, Wukong would've told him.
Maybe I can cast a strong spell and keep feeding the crown until I've finished with the kid. It'll hurt though... so damn much... Even if I lose my memories again, Wukong will take care of me. I hate the way he treats me like some delicate flower but I hate feeling like a lost idiot even more. I have a lot of information in my brain, hopefully I'll lose some unimportant ones.
This is my only choice.
Macaque stood in the middle of the room. He took a few deep breaths preparing himself for the pain to come. He will regret this, He knows.
One spell later and he could feel needles through his entire body, he wanted to scream but held it in and breathed the pain out as much as he could. On the other hand, one look at the mirror showed him that his plan worked, he just needs to make it for a few minutes without falling or showing he's about to pass out. Easy....
A few steps to the door made him reconsider, it was too much to handle, he must stop-
*Knock knock knock* the knock startled Macaque, he was too focused on the pain to hear anything around him.
_"Macaque are you in there?" the kid spoke to him from behind the door, "I don't mean to bother you but I got some extra noodles for you. It's a get well gift from the gang and me."
Gang? What gang? It doesn't matter. He's here. An opportunity I can't miss.
Macaque opened the door feeling cuts through his body with every move. Just a few more minutes...
_"Oh Macaque!" the kid spoke, his eyes big and full of delight, all because he saw Macaque, it somehow hit a soft spot in Macaque's heart,
"I was worried you wouldn't want to see me. I'm sorry I didn't mean to intrude but I was really worried because I haven't seen you in weeks and whenever I ask Monkey King he'd say you're busy or something and I started to think that you hate me now and don't want to see me because I let you down and..."
This kid needs therapy.
_"Easy kiddo." Macaque said, trying to sound normal, it's like shards of broken glass in his face and throat. But he can handle it, he'll feel worse if he kept being useless to Wukong. "I was just upset that's all."
_"Really?" the kid looked at him like a puppy in the rain. Why does he look so much like Wukong?!
_"Of course. You've done nothing wrong." Macaque spoke trying his best to hold on, this kid is a chatty one, a golden goose for information.
_"Thanks.." The kid said, looking a little relieved, "Uhh... Can I come in?" he asked, hints of anxiety on his face even with the smile.
_"Sure." Macaque stepped away from the door, holding his breath, holding the sounds of pain, then let out a long exhale,
_"You seem down." The kid said, putting the bags on the table then turning to face Macaque, eying him with worry.
_"This whole thing is tiring me." Macaque said with a little reassuring smile,
_"Yeh.. ok..." the kid looked down, then sat on the bed before he spoke again, "Umm... Thank you."
_"Hm?" What for?
_"You know... For staying, even though you and monkey king aren't on good terms." the kid still couldn't hold his gaze up to Macaque, he just looked to his side,
_"Good terms?" I'm not on good terms with Wukong? Why?
_"OK. Fine. You hate each other. But still... I'm happy you accepted our help. I was so worried you'd dissappear the second you got better."
We hate each other? I left before? When? Why?
_"Well, I hit a dead end at one point, the sooner this is over, the better it is." Macaque shrugged then headed to the noodles, he can hold on just a little longer,
_"Are you- Are you leaving once we solve this?"
_"..." What is he talking about?
_"Can't you stay? I mean is it really that bad to be around us?"
_"I'll think about it once this thing is off." I don't know either kid,
_"You're staying!" the kid literally glowed,
_"I didn't say that. I said I'll think about it when we get to it." Macaque said turning to face the kid,
_"I'll take that as a maybe." he smiled at him that mischievous smile,
_"*sigh* So?"
_"Hm?"
_"Did you find anything useful?" Macaque could feel his heartbeat grow faster, he's runnig out of time,
_"Oh! We found out its name but we still can't tell what it's for. Monkey king said he'd look into it, so we're waiting for him."
_"What's its name?" Hurry up kid!
_"Monkey king didn't tell you? It's the corrupted king's crown, but the info we found about it-" The kid stopped as he saw Macaque's face fill with terror, "Macaque?"
_"The corrupted king's crown..." Macaque muttered before the pain got 10Ă worse, the crown isn't just taking his magic anymore, it's trying to kill him,
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" he yelled and fell to his knees holding his head, trying desperately to get the crown off,
_"Macaque!" the kid yelled and ran to him,
_"KID LISTEN! AGH! They want- They want to put- *pant pant* egh- someone- else's soul in my body-"
_"Who?!" MK doesn't understand anything, what's happening to Macaque?!
_"The- The king has guards- AAAAAAAAAGH!"
_"I'll get Monkey King!" The kid stood up, looking around for help or where to start,
_"DON'T. AAAAAGH! DON'T-" Macaque couldn't say another word before he passed out.
The room fell silent. MK stood there for a second not knowing what to do. He needs help, Macaque is in worse shape than he thought, what should he do? Who should he call? Should he just wait for Macaque to wake up? What should he do?
(I know it took too long and it's not that good but I tried my best ok? T^T. I still don't like it though but I'm glad it ended.
And yes, still no title, I don't know where this is going so I can't come up with a name.)
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Stuck on the end of this ball and chain And I'm on my way back down again Stood on a bridge, tied to the noose Sick to the stomach You can say what you mean But it won't change a thing I'm sick of the secrets Stood on the edge, tied to the noose
#coldplay#amsterdam#a rush of blood to the head#music#feeling like shit#I should not feel like I miss you but I do and it sucks#it will pass#time is on my side now#Spotify
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my birthday is also my genshin anniversary, so i doodled myself with some favs đ happy four years, my beloveds
also looking at the cake lineup in my inventory makes me so happy ehehehe (also the xiao lanterns)
#2024#self insert#self ship#genshin impact#sucrose and ajax baked the cake together and sucrose was not informed that the candles would be yoimiya's sparklers lol#kaeya alberich#xinyan#naganohara yoimiya#sucrose#venti#dvalin#childe#tartaglia#childe tartagalia#they need to tell us ajax's surname so we could just use his name instead of titles like that's ridiculous#ignore the anatomy this was a quick scribble for the seratonin boost#it didnt have to be good. it just had to make me feel happy looking at it! and it did! :D#i wish i could've fit more characters :( i'm still stuck with tiny pieces of scrap paper and it sucks#i neglected to add a sumeru character because so many of them are in a do-not-separate situation with AT LEAST one other character#like i would've liked to add faruzan but then it's like oh then i should add layla and kaveh! followed by oh i need to add al haitham then!#which would be followed by added cyno and nilou. which would be followed by adding dunyarzad dehya candace tighnari and collei#which of course means i would next go all the way and add nahida kuni and sethos#do you see what i mean? sumeru's cast is too intertwined! if you want one you need them all!#absolutely no room for that lol#man... i need to rebuild sucrose i miss playing as her she's so fun#anyway anyway i hope you're all having a lovely day/night
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saw a post last night complaining that the sound of music film and its popularity contribute to the "universalization of the holocaust" and that by depicting an austrian catholic gentile family's opposition to the nazi regime instead of being about jews, it paints some kind of false picture of who the nazis' real targets were. and i'm sorry but that is such a narrow minded, externally motivated reading of the film/musical. and i say this as a jew who broadly agrees that holocaust universalization and the sidelining of "the jewish problem" (as it was known in that era) in film and media is a genuine and pervasive problem. the sound of music...that is really not the right target for your ire, my friend
#sasha speaks#like yeah it is annoying when people spam reblog that gif of georg ripping up the nazi flag right after posting antisemitism#that sucks and i wish it wasn't do prevalent. i also wish antisemitism in general were not so prevalent but yknow.#baby steps or whatever.#but anyway it's not the sound of music's fault that people are using that gif a bunch but misunderstanding nazism#and its specific primary targeting of jews (and romani)#A. i actually don't think it's invalid or bad to show stories about gentiles being threatened by/opposing nazism.#that Was a real thing that happened. the trapp family were in fact real people even if their story is somewhat fictionalized#in the musical#it takes place in 1938. therefore before the holocaust proper had begun#(not that persecution of jews wasn't already a huge thing. the november pogrom was the same year of course.)#but even while racial hatred of jews and romani Was the primary characteristic of nazism and should be recognized and depicted as such#it is not misleading or distracting to also depict the real experience of white gentiles who were threatened by nazism#like. one drop in the bucket. two cakes. whateved#also. and this feels so blatantly obvious to me i shouldnt need to spell it out but.#B. the sound of music was written by two jews in the late 1950s.#it's...it's just not. it's not an example. of a bad faith depiction of wwii/its lead up#sometimes stories are about other things. even when the authors could have made it about more personal subjects to themselves#and the era in which it was created had a very different attitude towards and contrxt for depictions of wwii (& preceding) in media#if you want to get mad at people misinterpreting a musical about the rise of nazism go look on twitter or tiktok for cabaret discourse...#now that's an audience that knows how to miss the gddamn point
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oldsona/femc fans who make their personality hating newsona/non femc p3 content are just as annoying as newsona fans who make their personality hating oldsona/femc and its weird they try to act like theyâre not
#like wait a day before complaining about the answer jfc??#why do you have to go onto threads of people being excited and go âthereâs no femc dlc this sucks and you should feel badâ#like what if we all just went outside#maybe its just twitter iâll log off of there for a while#edit from later: theres a conversation to be had about femc being brushed aside like this#i just donât feel like saying people shouldnât be excited for TA because they didnât also make femc dlc is the conversation we need#i do kinda wish we could have femc discussions without it being hostile though it always seems so violent#i miss her. sad she only got a shitty port
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Heavy debate on just deleting everything and Peace-ing Out.
#vent#I already uninstalled twitter insta and tumblr from my phone. been kinda nice#tiktok brain rott is real though. sucks#i'm just... tired. I don't want to but I do. the internet is just so toxic.#i'm feeling defeated. ya know?#you make mistakes and suddenly it's all people wanna talk about. just. yeah.#mental health man.. it's a literal killer#i miss the me before the pandemic. before even then. when i had fun creating. where is that me?#my spark is gone guys. i don't know what to do.#I want to do so much.. but i feel like cant. shouldn't. no one should feel like that. but i do.#I feel like i'm not allowed to talk to my ..friends? are they my friends? I dont know anymore. they never talk to me either. so. maybe not.
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Tomorrow Is Election Day And I Am So Fucking Stressed
#marzi speaks#marzivents#hi folks. i havenât been making much art lately. apologies! i want to be#unfortunately shit is Stressful in both my little world (iâm starting to get overwhelmed with my meds and refills and driving)#and on a broader more societal scale (if trump gets re-elected shit is going to go so fucking bad oh my god)#PLUS weâre in the It Gets Dark At 6PM Zone now#i think iâve lowkey been catastrophizing a bit with all thatâs been going on#i should probs look into those psych referrals my doctor gave me#she offered them bc the almost-dying earlier this year was Traumatic and i was showing signs of anxiety/depression#but i think theyâll just be helpful in general#god though i hate being on prescriptions. it feels like thereâs a constant timer hanging over my head#refill these pills before this time so you donât have to miss a day. woops! the pharmacyâs out of stock on this one#so youâll have to come back at another less convenient time. fail to do so and the medication goes on hold#which requires a phone call where you speak to a Robot that may not understand the nuances of ur situation#grrrgh it sucks so bad. thankfully i refilled my prednisone the other day and have like 3 monthsâ worth now#and thatâs the one i really canât afford to miss bc steroid withdrawals could really fuck me up#but uggghhh i hate it. so much. bc it looms over me always#i hate keeping track of when iâve taken my pills too. i keep a checklist for every day#so i remember what i have to take and if iâve taken it#but god it sucks. iâm at the point where itâs basically routine now so i do it automatically#but i know if i stop monitoring iâm gonna forget if iâve taken my steroid one day#and either double dose or skip the day. and thatâll fuck me up pretty good#anyways. hoping hoping hoping this election goes well bc idk if i can take it if our country tis of thee elects the fucking fascist#this oneâs fine to rb. i think many of us share this sentiment lmao
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good lord my inbox is a mess lmao
#listen. i'll give my opinion if you all really want it#(but i have a feeling i should be taking all these asks in bad faith because you are trying to be obnoxious)#(but you know. benefit of the doubt.)#anyway. i'm inclined to believe joe is at least slightly left of center due to his previous posts about#blm abortion and gun control#but he's also a rich white man#with very little stake in all of this#so i wouldn't be shocked if he votes for trump in the end#regardless like...i grew up in the midwest surrounded by football culture my whole life#i would be extremely naive to go into this fandom thinking that all the players have the same progressive beliefs that i do#i'm not here to act like they're all flawless human beings whose beliefs and actions we should emulate#that is very much not why i'm here#i'm here for the Narratives#and because these guys are pretty to look at#and it's fun to imagine them sucking and fucking and being emotionally tender with each other :)#turning off anons until everyone can calm down and grow up a bit đ#if you are one of my anons who sends me joe'marr moments i've missed or haven't seen yet#and don't want to reveal yourself#you can still send me stuff and i'll protect your identity đ
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