#I shall find a place in the story for it since all the scenes in my head aren’t tied to much anyways | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aviawrites · 4 months ago

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a winter’s dragon: flying

!s: aemond targ x reader, northern!reader

summary: Princess Auriela hasn’t known a day of happiness since she was arranged to marry Aemond Targaryen. In her pursuits to take control of her life so far from her home in the North, Auriela only stirs the pot of the already war stricken kingdom, pointing knives in her direction. Accompanied by her common folk, Auriela intends to dig herself out of her green hole. [9.9k]

a/n: i’ve been writing a game of thrones fic for a year and a half now (i can’t seem to finish). in the meantime, my most recent hyper fix has been aemond so i hope this story does him justice. part two may come in three days or three years depending on my mood. anyway, as always, ur interaction is greatly appreciated, ily<3

warnings: swearing, allusions to sex/almost a smut scene, death, violence, nothing you haven’t watched in the show

in this story, yn is: auriela dustin

hey! read part 2! -> a winter’s dragon: burning

The Red Keep has been a cold place, the walls going bare and air flowing frigid since the departure of Rhaenyra. In the two short years since the Grand Maester wed you to the queen’s second born son, you’ve quickly come to realize why your neighboring Northern house, Stark, happily bent the knee to Rhaenyra when she was named.

Much has changed since then, your already feeble relationship with your husband has grown ever weaker. You’ve become a solemn woman since your last days in your home of the North, your only friends in the Keep being your handmaiden, Vialy, and your goodsister, Helaena. Sinless, virtuous women in the crossfire of the vicious infighting that has fallen upon the kingdom as of late. You spend your days with them, caring for Jaehaera and Jaehaerys, and strolling with Vialy as the royal family immerses themselves in their own politicking.

Your husband, Aemond, seems just as apathetic to you as you are him. The only conversations you have consist of him relaying cold messages from his mother, the majority urging you to produce her son heirs in order to strengthen their line. Save those, you and your husband have virtually no interaction at all. Even the consummation of your marriage has been put off, neither of you wanting to face the reality of your relationship.

Now, in your bedchambers, you wince, blood drawing from where you’ve pricked your finger with the embroidery needle. Just as you go to soothe it with your mouth, a knock comes through the door.

“Come.” You call, sucking your thumb.

“Lord Larys Strong, my Lady.” Vialy’s voice softly whispers as she opens the door, the clubfoot coming into view. She closes it behind him.

You set aside your hoop and fabric, smoothing your robe as you swing your legs over the side of the bed.

“Please, Princess,” he holds a hand up. “No need.”

You nod, putting your legs back under the covers. “What is it, Lord Strong?”

He stalks closer, his eyes switching from the silhouette of your legs and back to you.

“Women,” he begins, “are the most overlooked assets in the kingdom, my Lady. Good queen Alysanne’s Women’s Courts brought to light many of the injustices our mothers, sisters, and wives stumble upon in their ranks.”

“I know my histories well, my Lord,” you assure him. “Is that of relevance?”

He glares at you, that sorrowful look forver behind his eyes.

“May I speak plainly?”

“Please.”

“…I understand that you’ve taken notice of your Lord husband’s absences at night. One seldom may find him abed, where he’s expected, in the hour of the wolf.”

Your brows thread together as the Lord teeters on overstepping. Though you’ve wisened to the fact that the clubfoot has a gift for speaking ugly truths with no consequence falling upon him.

He continues. “I can’t help but wonder if the Princess ever longs to know where he spends his nights.”

You sigh. “I have no doubt that you possess such knowledge.”

“I do…but I shall hold my tongue, should it displease you to know,” he remarks, cornering you into the allusion of choice, wanting you to beg at his feet for the miraculous information that he seems to have an endless supply of.

“No, pray tell me where Aemond goes in the dead of night,” you relent.

Lord Larys goes on to tell you nothing short of a tale. He speaks of a pleasure house that your husband frequents, along with a madam. Thrice his age she’s said to be, the first and only woman he’s laid with. That is where he chooses to spend his time, throwing dirt on the name of his wife in exchange for a whore in a pleasure house.

You dismiss the Lord, but can’t help the spark of fury rising in your stomach. Aemond is the son of the Dowager, he’s brother of the King, he’s a Targaryen, and he chooses to fill his time shaming his name and house in such a place. The issue hardly lies with his choice of establishment and more with his status. He’s promised to you, wed to you. Even if the two of you have no love for the arrangement, at least you honor it. But because he is a man he can conduct himself as he pleases?

You quickly change out of your robes and into a plain featured gown, making sure that a hood is on the collar. Swinging your door open, you grab Vialy’s hand and pull her down the corridor.

“Where are we headed?” she asks, struggling to keep up with your pace.

“We’re going out,” you whisper.

“What for?”

“If my husband can spend his nights on the Street of Silk, so can I.”

“The Street of Silk?” she raises her voice as the two of you rush down the stairs. “What business could you possible have there?”

“Shh-“

“Auriela.” you hear a familiar voice at the top of the stairs.

The two of you freeze, slowly turning to face your goodbrother, dimly lit by the moonlight.

“Aegon.”

“Where are you off to?” he asks, a cup of wine in his hand and a tipsy droop to his eyelids.

“To the city, my King,” you say truthfully, assuming he won’t remember the conversation come dusk. “We won’t be long.”

“Well…Wait there, I’ll get someone to escort you.”

“Oh, there’s no need for hassle, brother. I’ve got Vialy-“

“Your handmaiden is not a knight,” he rolls his eyes, ever vigilant of how attached at the hip the two of you are. “You need a swordsman, stay there.”

Aegon stumbles as he walks toward his chambers in search of a guard. You look at a wide eyed and terrified Vialy. You briefly ponder on your next actions, though not long enough before you pull your friend with you, sprinting down the stairs and toward the side doors.

“Ella!” she whisper shouts as you run away from the castle.

“I’m not being chaperoned on a visit to my own city. Especially not by some stuck up white cloak.”

“The King commanded you, I- We’ll get in trouble!”

“The King’s drunk, he probably never made it ten steps before collapsing.”

…

You finally slow down, looking in upon the vibrant Street of Silk, colorful creatives and laborers alike lining the street with their gifts. A great smile grows on your face, never having seen such savage freedom in your life. Nothing of the sort could possibly take place in the snowy streets of Barrowtown, nor the guarded streets of the Keep. But the smallfolk, the lucky majority, see such liberty all their lives.

You and Vialy stop at the tallest and most decorated brothel on the street, men and women pouring in and out.

“Are you sure about this, Princess?”

“No more of that, Via,” you tuck your hair before pulling your hood up. “We no longer have status. Not here,” you grin before pulling her in.

What you can only imagine is the smell of ravaging sex fills the air, the temperature rising as the two of you cowardly enter the pillow house.

“This is not a place becoming of a royal, Auriela,” Vialy whispers.

“The King and his brother attend such places all the time,” you mindlessly remark, looking around at all of the frivolous and free fucking in every direction.

It’s only when your eyes scan a private room at the back of the house when you see a sight you don’t expect.

Green eyed, olive, and tall, a roughly dressed boy sits alone on a floor mattress, looking out at the pursuits around him.

“Via…” you keep your eyes on him.

“If any of them were at the wedding they’ll know who you-“

“Vialy, look.” you point.

The two of you stare on as he obliviously looks past you, his carefully molded face glistening with a sheet of sweat in the humid atmosphere.

“I’ll see you…” you walk toward the boy.

“What- Don’t leave me, Ella!”

“He isn’t your taste anyhow, find a maiden to entertain.”

Vialy turns red at your observations, never secure in who the gods made her attracted to. You never minded though, the realm knows the same of Rhaenyra’s late husband, Laenor. It never cast as dark of shadow on house Velaryon as Vialy believes it shall cast on her.

“Princess.” she nods, leaving you to it as you approach the boy.

You draw closer. His emerald eyes look up at you as you close the curtain behind you, sitting criss cross in front of him.

“How much for your favors?”

He remains relaxed, slyly leaning back on his hands. “How much do you have?”

You smile. “I just want your time.”

“I have little and less of it as of late, Princess.”

You catch a frog in your throat as your smile drops, sitting up straight.

“…You know me?”

He leans forward, stroking the arm of your gown. “Nobles frequent here…No common woman has frocks of such tulle.”

Your face goes a little hot as you examine his…examining yours. The man is young enough, though older than Aemond, only by a few years. His loose blouse nearly slips off of his thin frame as a mischievous smirk grows on his lips.

“I’ve never served a highborn woman before,” he mimics your position, his hands in his lap.

“And that way you shall remain,” you assure him. “Who have you served?”

“Many out of the Red Keep. Beneath their cloaks of righteousness all men wish for the same thing.”

“Is it only highborn men that you’ve served?”

“Highborn…lowborn…any willing to pay their dues.”

“Hm,” you hum, wondering if he knows how much you envy his autonomy of his own endeavors.

“And what of you? What business does a Princess have in a place like this?”

“I heard I’m free to be who I wish as long as I’m here,” you say truthfully. “Free to do as I wish.”

“That is true…Though I’d imagine you’d much better enjoy the freedoms of the safe castle.”

You scoff. “I know none of the freedoms you speak of. I’m just as chained as the prisoners I walk above every day.”

“You resent what most girls would kill for.”

“Let them,” you shrug. “I’d give my station to the lowest of women if it meant I could go back home.”

“And where is that?”

You pause, wondering if such information can be trusted with this man. But as he so prettily awaits an answer, you can only think of the web of truths your husband has likely spun to his paramour.

“Barrowtown.”

“A Northerner,” he smiles, “I should’ve known.”

“And where is your home?”

“Is it not clear?”

You furrow your brows.

“Gods, the sun really has been seized from my skin,” he chuckles. “Dorne, Princess. Starfall.”

“Starfall…” you recall your lessons with the Septa. “Are you a Dayne?”

He hums. “You know your histories, Princess.”

“Call me Auriela, Lord Dayne.”

“Lord,” his body shakes with an erupting laugh, his smile brightening your mood even more. “I’m no Lord, Princess Auriela. I’m called Lucan, or Deephide.”

“Deephide?”

“They say I’m too dark to be a hart but too light to be a crow. The company I keep isn’t too creative when it comes to names.”

You laugh. “I think Lucan is a fine name alone.”

You and the boy talk well into the night, your sitting positions morphing into lying side by side on the mattress. Groups of buyers trot in and out of the pleasure house, though all of Lucan’s are rejected in your presence.

In one of the long hours of the night, or perhaps an early hour of the morning, Vialy emerged from behind the curtain. A girl was treading on her heels, her hair darker than yours and skin paler than salt. Your heart warms as Vialy’s rare smile grows upon her face, locking hands with the girl. Alice, she’s called. “I never want to leave, Ella.” she remarks before giddily running back off with her doxy.

It’s only hours later, when the patrons thin and the sounds of pleasure cease, that you and Lucan finally egress from the small back room. There, you see slithers of sunlight peeking through the cracks in the door.

Vialy rushes up to you, her eyes wide.

“Princess,” she urges. “Princess, we must go.”

On the other side of the door, you hear an array of hoof beats against the cobblestone street.

“They’re looking for you, Princess,” she frantically pulls you toward the door.

“Wh- Who?”

“The City Watch.” vialy heaves, her panic only growing. “We’ve overstayed, it’s well past the hour of the Nightingale. We must return.”

“Wait, wait,” you pull your arm from her. “Why must we go? Aemond doesn’t return for days at a time.”

Vialy stares at you. “We are not men, Princess.”

“Why rush?” you giggle, Lucan joining your side. “You were just having so much fun.”

“That was before I knew that Gold Cloaks were searching for a Princess that I’m meant to tend to. Please,” she pulls you once again, “please, let’s return to the Keep.”

“No,” you turn her to you. “The Gold Cloaks will cast around for a while before they return to the Keep empty handed, as they do with my husband.”

She frowns. “Ella…”

“We will return,” you assure her. “Only a little longer, okay? We as women don’t experience this freedom often in our lives, allow me this one day.”

Vialy’s expression says all you need to know. Nevertheless, she bows her head as she does in the Red Keep.

“Princess,” she mumbles before weakly returning to the dark haired girl.

Lucan turns to you. “Do you often evade the law enforcement of your castle?”

“Not nearly as much as I wish to,” you smile.

“I have yet to meet a noble woman who’d rather spend her days in a pillow house than in her palace.”

“Spend your time locked in the Keep and see how long before you run back to freedom.”

He examines the near empty premises before pulling you toward the door.

“Once the Watch leaves our street I’ll be happy to show you the finer things in your city,” he suggests. “Much prettier than here…”

…

Your hood stays up as Lucan pulls you by the hand, holding tight so as not to lose you in the sea of smallfolk at the Blackwater docs. Your mouth hangs agape as ships sit idle in the port, hundreds of men laboring on and around them. Grand green and gold flags hang from many of them as cargo is loaded.

“Are these all from Essos?” you ask Lucan.

“I thought you knew your histories.”

“Lands and lords, I know well. Maritime traffic was never a subject my septas lingered on.”

“Hm,” Lucan nods, watching as you admire the great ships. “Well that one there is from Braavos. The plum tint of their sails is from the old practice of dying their stolen ships.”

“And those?” you point to the green bannered vessels. “Are they our royal fleet?”

“Some are,” he shrugs. “Others come from lands across the Narrow Sea or the Sea of Dorne.”

The two of you finally depart the docs in pursuit of your next expedition. Lucan plays the jester, forcing so many laughs from you that your stomach burns as the two of you explore your sacred town for hours. Plays in Flea Bottom amuse you more than any fool in the Keep has, beautiful musicians bring you to tears, and incredible tailor-ship lines the streets as the sun begins to fall. The two of you see flashes of gold throughout the city, signaling the second round of searches. Lucan leads you back to the whore house that is once again bursting at the seams. You head to the familiar and quiet room, though you pause when you see Alice, alone.

“Where’s Via gone?” you ask, Lucan’s hand still in yours.

“Forgive me, she’s left.”

A small beat skips in your heart as you examine the room.

“Has she?”

“Early this evening, says she was too afraid of the Gold Cloaks to deliberately elude their efforts.”

“Hm,” you nervously bite your lip. “Well I shall await her return, even if she may bear the company of those I avoid. When they come, I shall be ready.”

Alice stops you when you attempt to pass her, holding something out.

“For when you see her next,” she places a fine necklet in your hand, a handmade red pendant in the center.

You nod, noticing the matching one she wears around her neck. With that, you and Lucan leave Alice and enter your room.

“Do you imagine your husband worries for you?” Lucan asks as you both sit.

“He’s never done so before, it’d be a shock if he began now.”

“He surely has some love for you, Princess. It must not be that he’s a cold as you say.”

“Colder,” you assure him, your knees touching his as you lean toward him. “We hold the titles man and wife but we couldn’t be further from it.”

“…Does he please you?”

You scoff. “Not in the way you’re asking.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“I like how you speak plainly,” you smile. “Aemond seems to prefer a more…seasoned woman.”

Lucan laughs. “Really?”

“Thrice his age his lover is said to be,” you reveal before you can stop yourself.

“May I say it as I see it, Princess?”

You nod, paying more attention to his lips than you are his words.

“I think the Prince knows not of what he fails to seek out. I have no doubt that he’d find satisfaction in pleasuring you. His wife is a maiden yet he fucks a crone…a fools choice he makes.”

“Precisely, Lucan,” you argue. “It matters not whether I’m a maiden if at the time of the deed, I have no knowledge of what I’m to do. By all accounts I’m meant to lay there as he impales me until I bear his plain featured sons, I want no part in it.”

“I can show you, Princess. When done the way whores are taught, coupling isn’t an act of duty but a mutual act of pleasure. For both lady and lord.”

You think on his words, your attention now on those rather than his mouth. You ultimately agree, some hidden and repulsive side deep in you wanting to be desired. Wanting to be able to please Aemond.

Lucan smiles, lying on the mattress. He pulls you onto him, a flash of hot warming your face.

“He’ll never allow me atop him like this.”

“Perhaps no. But minds will change once he feels what happens when you are.”

He places his hands on your hips, rocking them back and forth as he instructs you as to where to put your hands. His chest, his neck, your hair, your palms roam every inch of your bodies as he instructs you further. Even when he flips the two of you, hovering above, he tells you how to stay in control. His bottoms stroke against your dress as your hands travel once more to Lucan’s orders.

The two of you continue until you’re sweaty and worn out, falling asleep with many and more ideas on how to touch your husband, should the time when you wish to ever come.

✺ ✺ ✺

“Are you sure about this, Princess?” Lucan looks around the crowded fighting pits. “He’s not ours to take.”

“Would you rather him in there?” you ask as you pick up the tiny, hooded, silver haired boy, looking down at the feral children.

Lucan stays quiet, following after you as the boy keeps a hold around your neck. You make it all the way back to your room in the whore house before being stopped.

“You can’t bring a child in. Leave him outside,” a brothel madam commands at the door.

“They’re with me,” Lucan insists.

“Outside,” she commands.

You sigh heavy, reluctantly lowering the boy’s hood to reveal his indisputable Targaryen hair. The madam’s eyes widen as she more likely than not imagines how much a Targaryen would sell for, even if he’s only young. She lets you in, smirking at Lucan as if he’s brought her a gift.

You arrive back to the room. “He’s not Aemond’s,” you tell Lucan. “My husband’s a fool but he’d never do this.”

“Aegon’s then,” he watches as you sit the child in front of you two.

“One of many I’d think.”

The boy is slow to speak, making you wonder if he knows how. You can make out that he’s about Jaehaerys’ age, no older than seven.

It’s only after much unanswered questions and empty silence that the boy finally speaks. Maeserys, he’s called.

“Whoever his mother is,” you whisper to Lucan, “she knew what he was.”

A name fit for a decendant of Old Valyria. He uncovers the little of his past that he remembers. No brothers, no mother, only fighting pits and scavenging. He speaks with a lisp and knows few words, only enough to keep him alive in a city such as this one. You can’t help but feel sad for Maeserys, he’s your kin by law yet has been living as a commoner since he can remember.

Lucan relieves the boy of the heavy interrogation, delivering him to his close friend working a nearby tavern, Pate. As difficult as it is to separate from the neglected boy, a tavern is a much more fitting environment for someone like him.

Alone again, you and Lucan sit knee to knee, your hand in his. He traces the lines of your palm, a trick he says he learned in Dorne. “Each trunk is how many sons you’ll have, each branch is how many daughters.” According to this, you’re meant to have three of each.

Simultaneously, you trace his palms back. You sit in silence, the ambience of constant foot traffic outside humming lowly. Lucan lifts your hand, pressing a kiss into it. You’re entranced, sensuality sparking through you as you look over to him.

“Every woman is an image of the mother,” his face nears yours, “to be treated with reverence.”

It’s not a thought out action when your lips meet. It’s slow, it’s passion filled. A small smile grows on your lips as you truly taste your newfound freedom, finally being liberated of the dread that comes with your husband in the Red Keep. Lucan’s lips travel downward to your jaw, then to your neck. You stroke hair, small breaths escaping you. His hand is making its way up your thighs and to your waist when the curtain cover of the room is ripped open.

There, standing taller than you remember him, your husband stares down at you. His old ladylove of which you’ve heard so much about stands behind him, both of them stripped and bare. Aemond’s face twists in a mix of anger and humiliation, staring at both you and Lucan before rushing away.

You’re left frozen, silent as Lucan stumbles over his words.

“I-“ he stammers, “I’m sorry, Princess. I knew not that he’d be-“

Your eyes stay wide, tears beginning to line them as you think of all of the grave consequences that you’ve invited upon yourself. You never had a plan, at least not one that you’ve thought through. Sure, you were awaiting the Gold Cloaks. But the idea of your own husband catching you in such a compromised state sends shivers down your spine.

Though, there was no time for shock. Aemond comes barreling back in, now fully clothed and alone. He says nothing, only tightly grabs your arm and drags you to your feet, away from Lucan.

✺ ✺ ✺

Water fills your eyes as they stay glued to the floor. You stand in the center of a secluded room, the furnace behind you heating up your body. In front of you, a council of those you wished to never lay eyes on again stare at you. The Dowager Queen, the Hand, the Maester, your husband, and the King all sit behind a long table, interrogating.

“What for?” the Queen Mother asks, stern and angry.

“I- I don’t know, Your Grace,” you mumble, hiccuping between your tears. “I wanted to see beyond the walls of the keep.”

“Three days, Auriela,” she reminds you. “You ‘saw the city’ for three days whilst the Watch was searching endlessly?”

You’ve concluded that she’s the most fearsome woman the Gods have yet to make as you fiddle with the hem of your sleeve, barely able to croak out words.

“…I was exploring.”

“Exploring, you say,” she nods. “In a brothel?”

You shake your head, assembling a feeble lie in the seconds you have. “I was only chasing hound, my Queen.”

“And the boy?”

Suddenly, the air escapes your body as you look up for the first time, your eyes shooting to Aemond. He was angry with you, rightfully so. But you hadn’t expected him to tell his mother the true details of how he found you. For some foolish reason you thought the two of you had that understanding.

“I- He means nothing we…we did nothing. I swear it.”

Your husband for some odd reason feels the need to speak up.

“That’s not what the madam told me.”

An anger rises in you that you weren’t sure was accessible to you at such a time as this. Only in the face of directly speaking to Aemond did all of your fear cease.

“And what were you yourself doing in a brothel, Lord husband?”

He smirks, recognizing this side of you. “Searching for my Lady wife, of course.”

“Searching,” you scoff. “Is that why every whore on the Street of Silk knows you by name and face? Because you go searching so often?”

“Hm, watch your words, wife,” he bickers back, his smirk turning into more of a sneer.

"Your words are wind, for I am innocent of any crimes,” you speak up, face hot with fury. “Why am I standing trial when the Prince runs to the same place every night? Fucking old rotting whores instead of tending to his wife-“

“That is enough, Auriela!” Alicent demands, pounding her hands on the table.

Aegon finally acts, placing a hand on Alicent’s. “Mother…”

Remembering he is here, you bow your head. “My apologies, my King. That was beneath me.”

Otto Hightower sighs, breaking the silence as the table ogles his daughter. "It brings shame to your house, Princess; to your family, when a Lady such as yourself is seen in such an...implicative position. We only ask that you not be seen conducting yourself in such a manner again.”

You nod at the Hands request, slight shame warming your face.

“Command, he means to say,” Aegon corrects. "It is a command by word of your King that you never leave this keep again if not attended."

"I was attended-"

"By a member of my Kingsguard."

Once again, you nod, though you’d much rather roll your eyes in the face of this shameless usurper.

"A clement constraint, wife,” Aemond adds. “It wouldn't be so were I King."

If only you were King.

✺ ✺ ✺

“One day I’d like to see the city,” Helaena remarks as you sit beside her, playing dolls with little Jaehaera.

“One day you shall, my Queen,” you assure her.

Behind you, the door opens. Vialy enters, her presence suddenly reminding you of the new life that you lived for a short three days.

Only, Vialy looks grievous. A black and purple ring forms around her eye, bruises and scars littering her neck and chest. You drop the dolls, running up to her. You frantically turn her jaw, examining.

“What’s happened!?”

“I’m alright, Princess-“

“That’s not what I’ve asked you.”

She sighs, knowing well that you won’t let this go. “The King’s Justice didn’t like my arrival unaccompanied by my Lady.”

Your lips part, regret washing over you. “Wh-“ you stare at her. “Did he take you to the dungeons?”

“Only a few short hours,” she shrugs, “and a few short beatings.”

“Vialy,” you shake your head. “Why would he torture you after you’ve said all you know? It’s not sensible…”

She chuckles. “My Princess, I said nothing.”

Your face drops, staring at hers. A small and proud smirk rests on her lips as a frown forms on yours.

“You fool!” you reprimand. “You should’ve told him all you knew of me, down to the room I resided in!”

“I am loyal to you-“

“I would never ask this of you, Via!” you stress. Her beaten down, yet gratified expression evokes a crossness in you…along with a hint of reassurance. Nevertheless, you sigh. “I’ll take it up with Aemond. The king as well.”

“It’s truly not needed. For my devotion to the Princess shan’t be swayed by a few hits.”

You sheepishly smile, giving her this small victory. Though, you have no intent of letting this happening go unspoken of. But as of now, you drop it, bringing Vialy to where you and Helaena sat with the children. There, you hand her the wooden spun necklace that Alice gave you, a warm smile growing on her lips as she thanks you.

…

“Clement,” you burst into your husband’s bed chambers, slamming the heavy door behind you. “A clement King you called him.”

Aemond can barely turn around before you shove him, forcing him to catch himself on his table.

“I know not what you speak of,” he looks at you wildly before regaining his composure, “but I suggest you keep your head about you.”

“Did you see what they had done to my Handmaiden? A woman, an innocent!”

He scoffs. “She was the last to see the missing Princess, it is the Justice’s work to see to any leads.”

"To what end, Aemond? The girl said she didn't know, what more must she say?"

"And that was a lie,” he corrects you. “Lying to an extension of the crown is treasonous, Auriela. Punishable by death."

"Death…” you stare, eyes burning with fury, “all for not revealing my whereabouts?"

"If only you had come home."

You roll your eyes, sighing as you debate saying what the both of you already know. The image of a weakened Vialy smiling through her pain encourages you to express on the whole of you and your husband.

"...Why this farce, Aemond? Why must we continue this? We fail at up-keeping the appearances of our marriage…why not just end it?"

"End it...” he furrows his brow, “you have yet to mention this before."

You do the same, silently begging for him to just admit it. "Need I? You know as well as I that we shall never learn to work as one."

"Actually I ever learn that I know little and less about my Lady wife."

You shrug, knowing he’ll never cease to dance around the cold truth of what the two of you have been and will always remain…strangers. You accept defeat and land on compromise.

"Just have Aegon allow me leave. I will arrive back as needed,” you truly ask. He looks at you so intently, the last time he’s done so being on your wedding day. “I will do my duty and produce you heirs, and we shall live our separate days."

“Hm,” he thinks, scanning you up and down in that cold stare before nodding. "And would you be asking leave if I were that brothel boy?"

You scrunch your face, the conversation seemingly taking a turn in a different direction.

"What?"

"The boy, Deephide."

Regrettably, you almost scowl, feeling strange toward your husband’s mention of Lucan. Your days on the Street of Silk seemed like a separate reality completely, one that Aemond has no knowledge of. Now, you feel a small sense of territoriality of those few days, and all personnel that they entail.

"Aemond I'm married to you, what- How can that not be enough?"

"But you chose him,” he continues. “Is it because he's older? Or lowborn?"

"Husband, leave this.”

“Do you like Dornish men?”

Perhaps I do, you think.

"You've always seemed most uninterested in what l like.”

He continues to pry. "Why do you want him?"

"Why do you want women older than your mother?” you snap, his perseverance on the matter seeming all too personal. "We all want things in our lives, Aemond. There's no reason, we just do."

“Those are wise words,” he remarks, still staring as if he wants to see through you. "…Did you bed him?"

“What do you take me for?” you deride. “I am wed, that may mean little to you but it's an ever growing shadow upon my name. I am not like you, I am not a man, I cannot give my maidenhead away freely as you can."

A small grin sneaks on his lips. "I am glad."

"Excuse me?"

"That you've remained a maiden,” he departs from leaning on the table and pursues you, his tall frame towering over yours. “Despite your...excursions.”

The closer he gets the smaller you feel, his eye still treading on yours.

His voice lowers. “Our marriage must be consummated one day, Auriela. Some don’t consider us legitimate at all so long as you remain unsullied.”

Aemond’s breath heats your skin, the two of you closer than you’ve been in years. Your eyes flicker from his own to his lips, refusing to believe what he’s asking of you.

Your breath shakes slightly. “That I know…”

He bites the bullet, moving before he can think. His hand rests between your collar and jaw, keeping a firm grip on you. You shudder as he pulls your mouth to his, a hunger in his kisses. The rough and sudden clash has your mind racing a million leagues a minute. The two of you have had your fair share of kisses, all of which being to please the eyes of his mother and council. Aemond has never desired you, never looked in your direction, never spoke of or to you unless forced to. Where this abrupt change in passion comes from, no man can say.

You don’t realize the way your hands seem to pull him closer until you’re interrupted, a knock at his door. Aemond pays it no mind, continuing to overwhelm you until three knocks ring out again.

He lets out a frustrated growl, keeping you in his hands as he looks over your head. He gives you one more glance before releasing, walking over and opening the door.

“The King requires an audience, my Prince,” the unmistakable voice of Criston Cole says.

“Tell my brother I’m occupied, Ser Criston,” Aemond brushes him off, shutting the door.

Cole holds it open. “Forgive me but it’s a command. He asks for your wife.”

Your husband grunts, slamming the door and turning back to you.

“He truly always finds a way to steal my joy.”

Standing opposite a mirror, you smooth your dress down. “Ser Criston?”

“Aegon.”

“Hm,” you hum. Aemond stands behind you, wrapping an arm around your waist as you ready yourself for the King you so despise.

Neither of you dare speak a word of what may have happened had Ser Criston not intervened. You just stare into the mirror, a rare sight, the two of you looking like a proper pair.

You snap out of it, heading toward the door as Aemond holds onto your waist for as long as he can. When he finally lets go, you scurry out of his chambers, a breath finally escaping that you were unaware you were holding. Ser Criston leads you to the chamber of the Small Council.

…

“No, my King,” you plainly state, wanting nothing more than to leave his presence, “I have yet to bear a Princeling.”

Aegon sits at the head of the empty table, sitting you at the corner as he asks perpetual and aimless questions.

“My brother is a cunt but I always thought he’d know his way around one,” he smirks, staring at you with an all too fake quizzical look. “May that be yours or an old hags.”

You stay silent, imagining you were anywhere but in this chamber with this boy.

“Have you at the least lost your maidenhead? I’ve heard whispers of you and the Dornish boy-“

"Is the King this engrossed with his own wife's affairs? He seems to be most interested in my fucking and fooling."

“Ha,” Aegon tsks, "you may soon find that Northern mouth getting you into trouble, goodsister.”

You eye him impassively with a demeaning tilt of your head before making the mature decision to back down.

"Right, Your Grace,” you adjust. “I forget myself, I shall hold my tongue before my King. I only wish to ask what this meeting may be about."

“Much better,” he smiles before standing up, heading toward the board marked with houses, pins, and landmarks. “You know as well as anyone that the North is a hard cart to heave. They swore fealty to the pretendor of Dragonstone years ago, I need you to ensure that they now know who their trueborn King is.”

You stifle a laugh, the sight of Aegon trying to rule being nothing short of a jest. In this prospect especially, where he’s sure to fail before he’s even begun.

“And how would you have me do that, Your Grace?”

“By traveling to Winterfell and promising your firstborn daughter to second of Cregan Stark’s sons,” he blurts out, a proud smile on his face telling you that he’s come up with this plan all on his own…evidently.

“My King,” you begin, not sure which of the hundreds of flaws you should bring attention to first, “I suggest we send a raven to scope how far Winterfell is willing to stray from their oaths foremost. As you said, we aren’t easy to sway, the North does remember, Your Grace.”

“They may not be easy to sway,” he emphasizes the detachment of the North and yourself, “but I send you because you know the North. It was your home, you’re more familiar than any of us.”

“Yes, and because of that I know that Cregan is slow to waiver and quick to call his banners.”

“Shall he support the cunt of Dragonstone, let them come.”

You scoff. “You don’t want war with the North, Your Grace. Cregan will never bend even with Sunfyre himself at his gates. Lucerys wasn’t far from Lord Stark’s own dead brother’s age, all the more reason to sympathize with the Velaryons. And who’s to say he hasn’t already been preyed upon by the blacks?”

“The North is closer to us than to Dragonstone.”

“They’re ahead of us in that sense,” you remind him. “While our King thrust us into war and bloodshed, Rhaenyra took a steady route; collecting her allies and seeking her foes.”

Aegon wears a frustrated scowl at your reprimands, coming back to the table and standing over you, his hands resting just in front of yours.

“Do you mean to doubt the King’s ways?” he asks, his voice low and warning.

“I mean to do no such thing,” you assure him. You look toward to door. “May I ask why my husband isn’t privy to this discussion?”

He looks you up and down, minorly offended before he retakes his seat. “I heard that you disagree with some of my methods of questioning.”

Vialy. Your heart skips a beat, knowing that the only people who knew about your feelings on the matter were Helaena, Vialy, and Aemond; all of which were consulted within the hour. Was he eavesdropping on your conversations?

You stay fairly quiet on the matter. “I just wanted my handmaiden to feel safe and at home in the Keep.”

“Mm,” he nods, placing his chin on his fist, “and do you feel safe and at home, sister?”

A small wrinkle forms above your brow as you fail to decipher what he could possibly be getting at. You smooth it out, knowing better than to hurt a powerful man’s confidence beyond the grounds of small jabs.

“…Am I free to go, Your Grace?”

He lingers on you, close to how his brother does, before waving his hand. You stand, walking toward the door not knowing whether you’re still expected to go North. If the King says it, so it shall be. Though, you’re not sure how welcome you’d be back home after your time here. As you exit the room, a pit forms in your stomach at the thought of it…

✺ ✺ ✺

Later

The night replays itself in your head relentlessly. Aemond seemed like a new man. He was careful, gentle even as he undressed you, cradling your head as he laid you upon the bed. The consummation wasn’t witnessed, though you’re sure Ser Criston could assume the activities at hand from what he heard at the door. Many of the things Lucan taught you worked ably, one of them sending your husband over the edge.

You shan’t complain about the experience, for you expected much worse and are painfully aware of how much worse women before you have had it. However, as you laid in Aemond’s bed, his arms wrapped around you as he softly snored, you couldn’t find sleep. You contrite the thoughts that kept creeping into your head. Alice, Maeserys…Lucan. Your mind refused to rest even as the night grew late.

You cannot deny that Aemond was good to you tonight…which makes the fact that you’re presently lying naked next to Lucan even more regrettable. You didn’t mean it to happen, but as your feet continued tip toeing away from the Keep and toward the whore house, you found yourself justifying what you intended to do. My maidenhead is gone you thought, bedding two men within the hour only counts as one.

“I have to return…” you sit up, Lucan’s fingertips tracing your spine.

“Must you?”

“Mhm,” you nod, standing and stepping into your dress. “I was only meant to visit you.”

He grins. “It gladdens me that you did, Princess.”

You say your goodbyes, deciding to leave the act as it lay and not speak of it again. Lucan seems to understand the arrangement you’ve made, just for the night.

The cool of the night stings your eyes as you exit the buzzing pleasure house. You nearly trip when your foot is caught at the door. Snapping your head down, your gaze quickly softens as you see what’s grabbed you. Maeserys’ sad violet eyes stare up at you, his hood draping over his brows as his tiny fingers hold onto your dress. You contemplate rushing back inside and cursing whoever left him out here in the cold, then you contemplate doing the same to Pate for not keeping an eye on him. Ultimately, after a brief brainstorm and scan for witnesses, you pick him up and whisk him away.

You don’t consider what you’ll do with him until you’ve snuck back into the Keep, his arms latched around your neck. Small pattering footsteps ring out as you hurry to your chambers. Though, you find you’re not quick enough as a you hear a familiar clanking round the corner…A knight. You freeze in your spot as Ser Criston Cole nearly walks into you.

…

“You’re exactly what I thought you to be,” Aemond stands across the room, his volume rising, “heinous…whorish,” he shakes his head.

Your eyes turn a watery red as you silently hex the Lord Commander for delivering you to your downfall.

“Aemond I…” you shake your head, “it was below me, I admit. I-“

“You shall address me as your Lord,” he points a finger in your face. “After all we built, Auriela…Just to throw it away on the morrow, I-“ he scoffs, pacing the room.

“I was thinking of the boy…” you admit truthfully. Of the few victories you’ve won, sneaking Maeserys out of Ser Criston’s sight before he could be he seized was certainly one of them.

“Who is none of our fucking concern!” Aemond hurls a goblet at you, it clattering onto the floor. “I put my trust in you…I put my my cock in you. Just for you to…” he struggles to normalize his breathing, “just to dispose of me as if it meant nothing.”

Sorrow fills your heart as you see water lining his eye as well, suddenly regretting ever leaving the Keep.

“Husband…” a tear falls down your cheek as you walk toward him.

You reach for his face, he hesitates before dropping to his knees. His arms wrap around your waist, burying his head as small sobs escape him. It breaks you, feeling only remorse and shame as you cradle his head, softly weeping with him.

You and your husband stay this way until you have no more tears to cry. No words are spoken as you leave his bed chambers, retrieving little Mase and returning to your own.

✺ ✺ ✺

2 moons later

The unfamiliar smell of dragon breath seeps into the cool air of the North as you stand atop the wall, Cregan looking over the snowy forests with you.

“If you’ve only come to make me bend the knee to the Usurper then you’ve wasted your travels, cousin.”

“I figured as much,” you admit, “I only ask that you consider it before you open yourself to a war that the North can avoid.”

“You may be committed to the tyrants by oath and for that I don’t fault you, but the North still remembers their own oaths. If that sends us to war then we welcome it.” Cregan shrugs, his thick accent feeling like home.

“I’ve heard that,” Aemond’s voice emerges from behind you. The two of your turn. “That the North remembers.”

He steps out of the lift, animal skin draped over his frame. “It’s funny though, as no Northerner seems to remember that your ancestor, Torrhen Stark, bent the knee to mine own, Aegon the Conquerer.”

Cregan glances over to you, then back to Aemond before letting out a laugh. The Prince uncomfortably shifts his position.

“That’s right,” he nods, challengingly getting closer to Aemond. “But you’re no conquerer…you’re just a boy. A craven kinslayer at that.”

“Hm,” Aemond looks down at him, “watch your tongue, Northman.”

“I suggest you do the same…your royal status doesn’t protect you this close to death,” he gestures beyond the wall.

“My position may be weak here, but my dragon is not.”

“When that fat old lizard is brazen enough to fly over this wall maybe she’ll finally instill some fear in my heart.”

The boys face off, both of their hands resting on their daggers. You step in, placing a hand on Cregan’s chest.

“I’ve got something to show you.”

Aemond returns to his place beside Vhagar and his knights, staying there as you return to Cregan, Mase in your arms.

“…And you’re sure he’s Aegon’s?” Cregan examines the boy, stroking his hair.

“Can’t you tell? I only ask you watch over him until the war subsides, cousin. He’s an innocent.”

He nods, the memory of his small brother pushing his yes.

“I shall protect him like he were my own,” he agrees.

You thank him. “Next time I see you I hope it to be on kinder business.”

“As do I.”

…

Your husband, at the cost of your dignity and stiff lip, allowed the Starks a time free of war and calls of banners for now, even if they didn’t particularly bend the knee. You and Aemond are leagues ahead of his royal host as you fly on Vhagar. Reluctantly, you make a stop to your home of Barrowtown, seeing your father and sisters for the first time since your father promised you to Aemond. That, you haven’t yet put past him. But the Seven ask you to be forgiving, so forgiveness you shall seek.

✺ ✺ ✺

1 moon later

You feel like a rat beneath the feet of the royals as you peek into the Small Council chamber, silently watching. A hand hovers over your belly as a table full of men discuss the matter.

“I am confident that the child is mine.”

“How can you be so sure, Aemond?” Alicent ridicules him. “The girl has no respect for you or our house, who’s to say she hasn’t fallen pregnant at the hands of a whore in the city?”

“She spends more nights with me than she does in the city, mother. Certainly after Aegon tried shipping her North in the dead of Winter, she wouldn’t be so reckless.”

“But she is reckless,” Aegon speaks up. “I commanded her to stay in the castle, she leaves again that same night. I command her to get Lord Stark to bend the knee, she convinces you to join her on some holiday to the North, accomplishing nothing. Your wife is disobedient, she recognizes no authority.”

“And if the child is not mine?” your husband asks. “If he comes out with dark hair and olive skin, what then? Will you have my child murdered for her crimes.”

You furrow your brows, never considering Aemond to be one of your allies in the castle. After the insults you’ve heard him hurl toward Rhaenyra’s children, you were certain that any child that was not true born was, in his eyes, undeserving.

Lord Wylde eyes him. “You certainly aren’t suggesting we house a bastard in the Keep, my Prince.”

Aemond shrugs. “I only mean to raise the question.”

“There should be no question,” Alicent rubs her temples. “Your shameless wife parades around the castle, bowing to none and seeing no consequence.”

“If she is to be executed for the crime of not living in fear then let you pike my head beside hers-“

“The history of questioned legitimacies is a long and bloody one, my Lords,” Otto breaks the bicker. “Let us not plan for such wickedness and instead bend our knees and bow our heads to the Seven and pray that the Princess bears a true born son of her husband.”

With that, the council moves on to other matters. Though, the sneers on Alicent and her oldest son’s faces don’t cease so quickly, their abhor for you only growing stronger.

…

“Watchers always find a way to seek each other out,” Lord Larys creeps on you from the corner of your bedchamber. “I saw you watching, Princess.”

You sigh, shrugging. “Is it wrong to wish to know the rulings of my own family?”

“Oh, far from it,” he assures you. “But when the queen speaks the bees listen…They question your morale.”

“They question my very being, Lord Larys,” you admit, not in the mood for his riddles. “Speak what you mean.”

“…I fear that the water is rising, my Lady. Tensions run high and blood runs deep in the Red Keep, I can see as well as any that your welcome here is nearing an end. What they plan to do with you when the grim day comes, I cannot say I know. Though, I do not wish to see you perish, Princess.”

You tilt your head. Larys has a way of rising perspectives that you otherwise would’ve never imagined. He means to say you’re in trouble, you’re in danger in the Keep. The harder you stare the more it all falls into place. They forbid your leaving, they torture your handmaiden, they question your spirits…You begin to feel their ropes of fire tightening around your cold and snowy neck.

“…What do you suggest I do?” you ask, doubtless that he’s thought of an array of plans.

“If all were to come to turmoil here,” he begins, “the Princess is not without a place to turn.”

You shake your head. “My father wouldn’t take me back, he only wishes to keep his ties to the Targaryens.”

“Not the North…I propose you look across the bay.”

“…Dragonstone?” you ask.

Larys nods. “The black Princess has no reason to turn you away.”

“None save the fact that I’ve sworn myself to her enemies and sleep in her stolen castle.”

“A commitment not made by your hand,” he argues.

You think back to the few interactions that you have had with Rhaenyra, all of which taking place when she returned for the brief period following your wedding. You recall her and her children showing you nothing but kindness, a warm feeling in contrast to the everlasting silence you experience here. Rhaenyra spoke to you as if you were a person, an equal; she talked about histories, asked about your life in the North, introduced you to Jace and Luke.

“So I flee my husband and my duties?” you query, contemplating both sides of the coin. “Leave the land I’ve always known to seek refuge with Rhaenyra?”

“A cautious, yet judicious arrangement,” Larys remarks. “If my Princess wishes…it shall be done.”

Rhaenyra’s an acquaintance, a relative at the greatest; but as you weigh the odds, warily looking at your lawful family, the ancestral seat of the Targaryens begins to look like the more favorable position.

A knock rings at your door. Both you and the Clubfoot look at each other, then toward the knocks.

You clear your throat. “Come.”

Vialy opens the door, behind her, a serpent.

“The Dowager Queen, Princess.” your handmaiden announces, giving you a worrisome look before shutting the door behind Alicent.

“Queen mother,” both you and Larys bow as Alicent eyes you.

“I wish to speak to the Princess alone, Lord Larys.”

He nods before tottering his way out.

“How can I serve you?” you ask.

Alicent huffs, sitting at your study and looking out of the window.

“You’re with child,” she states.

“Yes, my queen,” you smile. “I ask the Seven for a healthy boy.”

“As do I,” she looks back at you. “Did you want for children before this, in the North?”

“Um,” you stammer, “I want whatever makes you and your- or- my house happy.”

“We’re alone here, you may speak truly.”

The Dowager’s words slide off your back, knowing better than to ever speak plainly to her.

“I was never good with children. I had only my sisters at home whom were one and two years my junior,” you shrug. “But the time I spend with the Queen’s children gives me hope that I may be a sufficient mother.”

“Mm, and do you fear for your child? For what people will think of them?”

A frown forms on your lips. “I do not,” you lie. “Have I reason to?”

She scoffs, standing. “You have all the reason to, Auriela.”

Alicent nears you, inspecting your face. Her breath tickles your skin as she strokes your braid.

“We birth children knowing the horrors they’ll face and the suffering they’ll endure,” she says. “I only hope that a mother’s shameful acts don’t add to the weight upon their tiny shoulders…”

She looks you up and down, your mouth slightly agape. No more words are spoken as she releases your hair and heads to the door, leaving you dangling.

You cannot say if she meant to scare you or threaten you, perhaps both. But the overpowering spark in your stomach is what you can only recognize anger. Angry that she feels she can scare you in a castle that she ordered you to, that she could frighten you when she arranged your marriage…Alicent is the shameless one, stalking and harassing you as she soils the Lord Commander’s white cloak nightly.

You sit in the chair that she did moments ago. You retrieve a quill, ink, and scroll, addressing your letter:

‘Dear sister…’

✺ ✺ ✺

1 Moon Later

“It was the Strong,” Lucan says, tears streaming down his cheeks, “I know it.”

You hold Vialy tight in your arms as she weeps, Alice’s cold slain body lying in the middle of you, a sheet draped over her. Lucan’s words are senseless, blaming Lord Larys, one of the few you consider your ally, of ordering their deaths.

“Not Larys,” you shake your head, “he’s a friend.”

“He’s a snake who weasels his way into all things,” Lucan grits his teeth, staring at Alice. “The people talk, Auriela...His servants say he did it for you.”

Your head snaps to him. “What?”

Lucan stares back, his eyes numb and voice low. “You think he’s a friend but so does the Queen, and the King, and your husband, and the Dowager. He cannot be trusted, he ordered me dead, Princess.”

“Why would he do such a thing, Lucan?”

He sighs. “I adore you, Princess, I do…But you’ve been blinded. The Lord speaks with two tongues. He tells you to estrange yourself from the crown, on the morrow he tells the crown that you’ve become reckless…treasonous.”

Vialy buries her head in your dress, still sobbing.

“…Have I no one in the whole of King’s Landing on my side?”

Lucan grabs your hand. “The smallfolk are a greater force than you take us for. Your handmaiden is loyal to you, you say your husband is loyal to you, even the Queen across the bay.”

You groan, tears collecting between the four of you as your escort, a Knight, stands over you out of earshot. Suddenly, it becomes very clear what you must do. Though, you no longer intend to take up the mission with Lord Larys.

✺ ✺ ✺

2 Weeks Later

You seize the first opportunity get. After a week of pent up emotions and grim planning, you and your allies in the City are prepared to make the escape that Lord Larys spoke of.

The Dowager and guards believe you’re meeting with the King tonight, the King believes you’re with Aemond, Aemond believes you’re with Helaena, and Helaena cares not. When you begged her to stay tight lipped as you escape the castle for a brief night of living before your return, she gave you no more of a sweet nod before returning to her twins.

Now, in the hour of the wolf, the blackest hour of the night, you board a ship; one that is said to fly a false green banner, as the crew are all holding steadfastly to their true Queen. It’s meant to be bound for Dragonstone if the whisperers of the city speak true..and there’s a spot waiting for you.

“Ticket,” the inspector stops you.

You look at him through your lashes, retrieving seven coins from your bag. Holding his hand in yours, you set all seven golden dragons in his palm, closing his fingers around them.

“Seven blessings,” you nod.

He looks at the money and then to you, realization hitting him. He nods as well, almost a bow, as he registers who you are. The doors are opened and you enter the boat, followed by two of your favorites.

“Honor means little to him,” Lucan says, “obviously.”

Vialy clings to your arm as the three of you thread through the crowds, searching for a compartment to sleep you on the journey to Dragonstone.

You correct him, your brows low and head lower as the cogs turn in your mind. “These men have got more honor in their cock alone than any in the Red Keep.”

You wonder how the Queen will accept you after your history, if she’ll see that you’re just as spiteful of the greens as she is. Though it matters not, for as the ship departs, the three of you are seated, prepared to do what it takes to never return to King’s Landing so long as a green sits on the throne.

#hotd #house of the dragon #hotd fanfic #hotd fluff #house of the dragon fic #house of the dragon fanfic #aemond targaryen #aemond one eye #aemond x reader #hotd aemond #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen fic #aegon targaryen #alicent hightower #fanfic #hotd imagine #house of the dragon imagine #aemond imagine

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distortionbobble · 1 year ago

Text

Royal Flowers Chapter 2

pairing: anakin skywalker x f! reader

series summary: A long, long, time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a certain Jedi by the name of Anakin Skywalker meets you, the current Queen of Naboo and adopted cousin of Padme Amidala, and is tasked with protecting you by pretending to marry you. As a spy, you’ve infiltrated the Separatist ranks and are close to finding out the mastermind behind all of it. The fate of the galaxy is in your hands.

warnings: minors dni! ageless blogs dni! none this chapter but the series will have eventual smut, canon-level violence and just general warnings.

a/n: this series is so fun i hope everyone enjoys it as much as i did writing . anakin’s outfit in the opening scene is this incredible artwork by @kynakin ! this fic is for all the girlies like me who cry whenever there’s an argument

word count: 2.6k

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“I should never have agreed to this plan,” General Skywalker huffs, fiddling with the golden chains that drape across his bare chest in discomfort. It’s not the typical Jedi uniform, you’ll give him that, but for this to work… you have to go drastic. He’s uncomfortably quiet, though, and you realize that his cover story draws some uncomfortable parallels to what his life might have been without the Order.

But you’re left with no time to comfort him, futile as the attempt might have been, as the sound of ordered footsteps echo from the corridor. It’s your handmaidens, and judging by the low voices accompanying the swish of skirts, a couple senators too. You grab the general’s forearms, clumsily placing his hands on your waist and then use him as leverage to push yourself an inch away from his mouth.

“Forgive me,” you whisper, before you crush his lips with your own. Almost instinctively, Anakin pulls you in tighter.

You withdraw only when you hear the shocked gasps of your handmaidens and the uncomfortable clearing of throats from the ministers. General Skywalker blushes scarlet, stammering shyly as you turn to face them.

“Milady,” they bow, curious eyes wandering to the man standing behind you. You nod at them, playing shy as you reach your fingertips to brush against the general’s hand, not quite grasping it. The action draws attention, and you can see smiles teasing at the lips of the senators. Everyone’s a sucker for a love story.

Almost everyone.

Your handmaidens’ eyes glint with anger at the publicness of your actions. They aren’t surprised that there is someone, but they had warned you that they wanted less personnel on this task— as in, they wanted to isolate you. Easier to kill one person than two.

”And who is this gentleman?” Minister Pane asks, stepping forward with an outstretched hand towards the general.

“Anakin. Anakin Lars. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ministers,” he says with a smile, taking the outstretched hand and bowing forwards. Good, he knows how to behave himself.

“My apologies, Ministers. Today turned out to be such a beautiful day, I thought I’d show my fiance around the palace but lost track of time. Shall we continue walking to the meeting?” You say, with just the lightest smile on your face. You scan their faces for any sign that they might recognize him from when he guarded Padme, but luck is on your side—Anakin Skywalker had been a side note to them.

“I’ll take your leave, then, my love,” the general says, dropping into a bow and grasping your hand to place a ghost of a kiss on the back of it. Your heart skips a beat when he flicks his eyes up to you, holding you in his gaze. Before you have the time to dwell on his performance, he’s gone, leaving you to the ministers and maidens.

“Congratulations on your engagement, my Queen,” One of the ministers states. “Might I suggest a public wedding? A show of strength on behalf of the government, in the face of the increasing Separatist attacks. Royal weddings do wonders for morale, you know.”

Perfect.

~~~

The week that had elapsed since General Skywalker had been discovered as your lover to the time of the wedding went by in a blur. On a planet like Naboo, where the royalty was both controversial and respected, an event where the true Queen was guaranteed to be in attendance was rare. It would draw out all sorts of people—ones that wanted you dead, ones that worshiped the very ground you walked on, but it didn’t deter you.

To show respect to tradition, General Skywalker had been placed in a wing of the palace that was opposite your own. You hadn’t seen him much since that first day, overrun with the local politics of Naboo as well as the wedding preparations. Fake wedding or not, you only get to have your first wedding once, right? But the distance between you and the general unsettles you. There’s a growing concern in you, deep within, that General Skywalker can’t truly guard you. Yes, Padme had given her word that General Skywalker would keep you safe, but that was based on her own experiences, and wasn’t he hopelessly in love with her? How could you possibly rely on him? More pressing was the matter of having Reyna, your body double, and the other maidens believe you were in love with him. You’ve never been married before, but you’re pretty sure that not seeing each other for a week before your wedding isn’t the picture of hopelessly, deeply in love.

The day of the wedding, you’re awake before dawn. Invites have been sent to every corner of the planet, to every village and city. It’s a momentous occasion, after all; it’s rare for the Monarch of Naboo to be an adult. You’re dressed elegantly but simple, left only in private to pin your veil in place. It wasn’t what you imagined as a child, to be so isolated on what should be a joyous occasion.

“You look radiant,” a soft voice comes from behind you. You catch Padme’s eye in the mirror before you as you look up.

“Padme!” you gasp, nearly tripping over the long dress as you run to her. She holds you when you crash into her, choked laughter escaping the two of you as you hold back tears. She leans back, pressing her thumb into the corner of your eyes as you give her a watery smile. Your cousin, your sister, your closest friend, your Padme.

“Oh, sweet girl, don’t cry. You didn’t really think I’d leave you alone on your big day, did you?” She smiles, swiping her own tears from her face with the back of her hand. “Let’s get that gorgeous veil on.”

You sit there as she helps you pin it in place, unable to manage any words as she helps you get ready. She places a gentle kiss to the top of your head, smiling at you gently as she straightens up.

“Oh, Padme,” you sigh, twisting to face her and holding her hand gently. “It’s all just so much. To do all of this, and be the queen of Naboo, it’s all just so much.”

“You’re doing amazing,” she reassures you. “From one queen to another, you’ve only been queen for such a short period of time but you’re already doing incredible domestic work. Not to mention the other things you’re managing. If I know anything in this universe, it’s you, and I know that you can do all of this. You’re probably the only person in the galaxy that can.”

You lean against Padme for support, closing your eyes to allow the comfort of her presence.

“I can’t stop thinking of my parents, Padme,” You confess, eyes still closed as you draw support from her. “Their love was so strong, and pure, and…” You trail off, knowing that you are not afforded the luxury of privacy. But Padme understands you. She always has.

“I know,” She says. “I know. But they’re here, watching, sending you all their love, always. Now go, my Queen,” Padme smiles.

~~~

The thunderous roar of the awaiting crowd greets you when you step out onto the Palace Plaza, where General Skywalker awaits in the ruffled-collar suit you’ve seen so often on the nobility. Padme trails behind you but is undoubtedly spotted by the crowd, their increased cheering showing their respect for the beloved former Queen. General Skywalker’s face is set in solemnity, sorrows etched into the lines of his face. You shoot him a bright smile, one that holds both an encouragement and a reminder that you are being watched, before turning to wave to the people. The setting sun casts a soft haze on your people, and the sight fills you with joy. Your people, all here.

The officiant steps between the two of you, saying something that flies past you as you gaze into the general’s eyes. And you see, in those stormy blue eyes, a depth of emotions that have been harbored for far too long. You see more of him than you’ve seen before, the clarity reflecting in his eyes, and it feels like each breath you take is bringing you closer to him. You understand Anakin Skywalker.

Your hand is brought to his, calloused skin and metal fingers enveloping yours as he looks deeply at you. You wonder what he sees in your eyes, what he sees in you. Does he see you the way you see him? Is there clarity in your eyes, can he see the truth in your being?

“The chain that I thus wrap your hands with symbolizes the strength of your marriage. One will go to him, and one will go to you, my queen,” The officiant explains, smiling kindly at you when you nod at him. A slim metal bracelet is looped around your wrist, a matching one wrapping around Anakin’s wrist. “Through this life, let love and trust in one another guide you. Let yourself be guided by the other person. The threads of your life are thus connected, intertwined til death doth part you both.”

Once the man beside the two of you falls silent, you raise your head gently towards Anakin, eyelashes fluttering shut before you feel his open mouth against yours. His kiss is soft, moving in synchrony with you as you indulge the romantic fantasies of the crowd and placate the spies amongst your ranks. You’re sure that, in another life, you might have enjoyed kissing him.

Anakin goes stiff, though, and you take it as a sign to pull back, only to see his gaze fixed on something just past your shoulder. You know without looking that it’s Padme, and squeeze his hands before bringing yourself back to his lips.

“Not here,” you murmur against his lips, nudging his nose with your own to bring him back with a delicate, short-lived kiss. The two of you turn to the crowd, waving to them and blowing kisses as they cheer for you both, before turning back into the Palace, where your staff eagerly awaits.

“Ensure that they all have access— and please make sure it’s accessed in an orderly fashion— to the dinner arranged to celebrate the wedding. I’ll follow up with the Minister of Agriculture to make sure the grain stores are plenty and work on a distribution program for the people. This may also be announced with the happy news of my nuptials,” you instruct the chief palace maid. She nods and leaves you with the rest of your staff.

“Well? Go and enjoy yourselves!” You cheer, tugging Anakin towards the nearest stairwell and running up to your chambers. You maintain the faux cheer even as you near your bedchambers, knowing that your maidens are closely following behind. You make eye contact with them and close the door to your bedchambers with a subtle wink, hoping it’s enough to convince them to leave you alone.

Anakin calls your name sharply from within the chamber as you stand by the door. You hold your hand up sharply, before pointing towards the door and cupping your ear. They’re always listening, you mouth at him. He nods in understanding before pushing out his hands with concentration.

“It’s fine now,” he says. “I’ve put up a Noise-Dampening Bubble. This way, our conversations will be ours and no one else’s.”

“Thank you,” you sigh, walking over to the bed and collapsing on it. Your hands stray to your veil, working on unpinning the delicate pearled lace from your skull.

“Why didn’t you tell me Padme was going to be in the audience?” Anakin demands. You close your eyes and sigh at his audible frustration. You should’ve expected a fight— Anakin had, from the start, seemed prone to anger.

“She’s my cousin. The closest thing I have to a sister, the only person I really consider family. Not only that, she’s one of the most loved Queens in Naboo’s recent history. Really, General Skywalker, it should’ve been a given that she’d be there,” you groan. This conversation is already beginning to exasperate you, and you know that it’s far from over.

“Anakin. Not General Skywalker. We’re married now, if you keep calling me ‘General Skywalker’, this whole marriage sham will be for nothing. Maker… You’ve gone and forced me to marry you in front of the love of my life,” Anakin bites out.

“Will you drop that already? She’s not interested in you! And, in case it slipped your mind, Anakin, we don’t have much of a choice. You think I wanted to get married to you?”

“Why wouldn’t you want to get married to me?” Anakin asks, irritated.

“Wh- what a foolish question! You think I wanted to marry without love? A ritual as sacred as that and I’ve done it to a man who’s hung up on my cousin! I wanted to be loved, Anakin! Loved! You’re my husband, you’re supposed to be the one person who loves me. And I couldn’t even have that. But know this, Anakin, I’d sacrifice it all again, because it’s not about me! It’s not about you either! You need to grow the fuck up and move on or this entire mission is in jeopardy!”

“Oh. Oh, I see, the queen wants to talk about sacrifice. Don’t talk to me about sacrifice!” Anakin shouts at you. “Do you know what I’ve given up to be here? All because you don’t feel safe and don’t have the courage to learn how to protect yourself? Your foolish request is an insult to my abilities. I was so close to becoming the youngest Jedi Master and you’ve put it all at risk. I mean, who knows what the Council will say if they find out that I got married to you? It doesn’t matter if it’s just for show, there’s not a chance they’re just going to let it slide.” He sighs and sits on the other side of the bed, rubbing his face with his hands. You sit up, twisting to face him as you swallow the lump in your throat. You didn’t want him to treat you this way. Sure, you didn’t need it to be a real wedding, but you can’t handle the thought of being at each others’ throats all while you dealt with the pressures of being Queen of Naboo and a spy.

“Okay,” you whispered, not trusting yourself to speak normally without crying. “I don’t know what you’ve gone through. I won’t pretend that I have. It was unfair of me to act like you haven’t sacrificed anything. But would you at least admit that you’re taking your stress out on me rather unfairly?” You sigh in exhaustion. “We need each other right now. At least, I need you. The palace is a vicious, vicious place, and I can’t make it through this without you. Please, let’s just… not fight. Not over this.”

Anakin sighs, but nods. You dab at a stray tear with your fingertips, overwhelmed. The two of you sit in silence for a brief moment before you get up, heading to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

“I’ll sleep on the floor tonight,” Anakin says from behind you. You pause, not looking back at him when you nod your consent as tears stream down your face.

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sage-nebula · 2 months ago

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I'm on the third case of AAI2 now (for the first time ever, so no spoilers thank you), and I think that -- at least so far -- I agree with the consensus I've seen that it's a better game than AAI1. Note that I still do NOT agree that AAI1 is a bad game or hard to get through; I think that people are way too harsh on it, especially when they call it the worst game in the Ace Attorney series. (That dishonor goes to SoJ, in my humble opinion, and you cannot change my mind on that.) But I think I know why the cases, at least so far, flow better in AAI2 and why they're easier to feel invested in, in comparison to AAI1. As in, not only can I say, "here is what the narrative problem is," but I think I can say, "here is why this narrative problem exists."

So, I don't know how many people in the fandom today know this, especially since people join the fandom anew all the time, but I think it was . . . fairly common knowledge? fourteen years ago when AAI1 first came out. (And good god the fact that it came out fourteen years ago . . . hello darkness my old friend . . .) The "it" I'm referring to is that when it was first conceived, Ace Attorney: Investigations was not meant to be a game starring Miles Edgeworth. Instead, Ema Skye was meant to be the primary protagonist. You were meant to play as her, investigating crime scenes with all of her forensics tools, talking to witnesses, et cetera.

However, executives at Capcom worried that the game would not sell very well, because Ema Skye wasn't seen as a very popular character. At the time, the only game she had featured in as a main character was AJAA, and before that she'd only appeared in 1-5 -- a case that was only included in the DS version of the first game (and subsequent re-releases after that). So at some point in the development process, the decision was made to scrap Ema as the main character and replace her with Edgeworth, since he was one of the most popular characters in the franchise aside from Phoenix himself, and so they felt that even if the concept alone didn't excite fans, the idea of playing as Edgeworth would.

Now, I don't know if it was ever revealed when in the development process this was made. But having just replayed AAI1 in preparation for playing AAI2 for the first time (because although I've been a fan of the series since 2007, I always held off on playing the fan translation of AAI2 and avoided spoilers in the vain hope that it would one day receive an official localization -- and look, it paid off!!), I have to say that I feel like it was after at least a good chunk of the cases were written. At the very least, when the majority of them were outlined. Because here is the thing about the cases in AAI1: You could replace Edgeworth as the main character, and almost nothing about the stories themselves would change.

Let's review the court record, shall we?

Case 1: Edgeworth goes to his office late at night to discover that a cop has been murdered there. First Gumeshoe, then Maggey is accused of having done the deed. Yes, it's Edgeworth finding the body in his office -- but it could have just as easily been Ema being called to Edgeworth's office as the investigator when he called the police because he found the body there. Instead of Edgeworth investigating the crime scene, it would have been Ema instead. If the game was set right after she failed her forensics exam (which would make sense! I can't remember if we were told when in Ema's life this would take place), then she could have been assigned as a rookie working under Gumshoe in the homicide unit. Either way, very little would have to change here.

Case 2: A murder happens on an airplane, and Edgeworth is accused of being the murderer. He has to prove his innocence. Again, this case has absolutely zero personal ties to Edgeworth. Even though Franziska shows up and she does know him due to the fact that they grew up together, that only gives us some fun interactions that we instead could have with Ema either having previously met Franziska when she was studying in Europe, or meeting her for the first time. Either way, perhaps this flight was Ema's flight back to the States from Europe (or back to Japan from the States in the Japanese version), rather than a trip back to the States from Europe for Edgeworth for his own "foreign legal system studies." You could swap Ema for Edgeworth and nothing would change.

Case 3: Edgeworth agrees to help Mr Amano rescue his kidnapped son, gets taken hostage himself and then realizes that someone got murdered. Edgeworth's reason for wanting to help Mr Amano is that Mr Amano helped him get in with foreign governments to study their legal systems, which . . . never made a lot of sense to me, to be honest. How does he do that if not through criminal means? But you know what would make sense? If Mr Amano bankrolled Ema's education in Europe after Lana went to prison, because all the Skye sisters had was each other and perhaps they didn't have very much money, but Amano was hoping that he could use funding Ema's education as a way to blackmail Lana when she got out of prison, and Ema -- not realizing that's why he was doing it -- took him up on the offer, and thus felt gratitude to him and wanted to help him find his kidnapped son. Badabing badaboom, we still get the same case, with just slightly changed backstory reasons because Edgeworth's "personal stakes" in this case really weren't that personal.

Case 4: This is the only case in AAI1 that seemed like it was written for Edgeworth personally, what with the appearance of Manfred von Karma, little Franziska, and the origin of why Gumshoe is so loyal to Edgeworth. This one clearly had the most work done on it to make sure that it fit in an Edgeworth game, and it's probably why most (including myself) regard it as the best case in the game. But I still feel that most of the changes are superficial. Because when you get down to it, the case still isn't about Edgeworth, even though it was his first attempt at prosecuting a case. The case was about Kay, Calisto, Byrne, and Badd. Edgeworth and Franziska were simply there to provide flavor text and investigate. It could have just as easily been a case where you played as Lana Skye with baby Ema as the assistant, perhaps shortly after Lana switched to being a prosecutor (if that worked with the timeline; maybe Lana would have still been a detective, I'd have to go back and look at it). Instead of Gumshoe, it could have been Neil or Jake Marshall under fire, or even Angel Starr. It could have been Damon Gant instead of Manfred von Karma, so on and so forth. Yes, it was Edgeworth's "attempted first case," but not in a way that really mattered for him. Not in a way that couldn't have been very easily written for someone else.

Case 5: Edgeworth goes to the embassy with Kay to see if Calisto Yew will show up; she does, a guy gets murdered, and they bring down the smuggling ring with the help of some others. Once again and for great emphasis, Edgeworth could have easily been replaced with Ema in this case and nothing would have changed, because there were no personal emotional stakes for Edgeworth in this story. And that could very well possibly be because it wasn't originally written to be his case, but Ema's case. But then they had to change it, and they changed it just enough to make it "his" case, but not enough to make it really his case.

Now, to be clear: there's nothing wrong with having the main plot of an Ace Attorney game not revolve around the lead attorney. The original trilogy of games really isn't about Phoenix. The only game in the trilogy that could arguably be about him in any way is the first one, and even then, it's only really about him in the sense that it's about him fighting to save Edgeworth. Otherwise, the original trilogy is very much about the Fey clan, and that actually does start in the main trilogy, where we meet Mia and Maya, and learn about Misty Fey's disappearance during the DL-6 incident. (Cue music and picture of That Damned Elevator.) Phoenix is there so that we can experience that story as a result of his relationships with Mia, Maya, and Pearl. Yeah, it's his name on the game box, but it ain't about him.

But the problem with the cases in AAI1 is that they were clearly written with a different protagonist in mind at some point -- namely, Ema -- and then they had to be changed. And they were changed only just enough so that they end up feeling generic, "you could slot anyone in here and it wouldn't make much of a difference." As I showed above, you could put the originally conceived protagonist in AAI1 and nothing of any significance would change. The only one that would have to change to any degree is the fourth case, and even then, the main plot would stay the same. As a result, there's a certain feeling of disconnect between the protagonist and the cases, and we as the player feel a degree of disconnect ourselves.

(Of course, this could have been fixed had they allowed AAI1 to properly be Kay's story, as arguably should have been, instead of restricting her appearances so heavily as they did -- but that's a discussion for another day.)

So all in all, while I know that there are some who blame the change in lead writer for why AAI1 has narrative struggles, I think that this is the real reason: it wasn't supposed to be a game focused on Miles Edgeworth, yet was forced to be partway through development, and the hasty switch led to a game that wasn't quite sure what it was supposed to be. There's a narrative disconnect as a result, and it's a problem that -- at least as far as I've played -- doesn't exist at all in AAI2.

Again, I am only on Case 3. But so far in AAI2, it is impossible to see this as anything but a Miles Edgeworth focused game. To be fair, the first case is not as personally tied to him; it does take place on Gourd Lake, and there is flavor text about the boat shop if you examine the sign; but missable flavor text does not a deep personal connection make. The first case, tutorial that it is, doesn't feel like it was written for him, and thus could have the same disconnect as the cases in the first game.

But the second case flips that all on its head. We meet an associate from the law firm that Edgeworth's father owned, Eddie Fender. We start to learn more about Edgeworth's childhood, about his father, and he's extended an offer to quit being a prosecutor and to instead go back to work at the practice that his father started -- the one that still bears his own name above the door. (And I'll be honest, it hurts that it's a foregone conclusion that he won't do it; part of me wants so badly for him to.) Then in the third case, which I've only just begun, we play as his father investigating his very last case -- the case where he got Manfred von Karma the penalty that von Karma murdered him for, and then took Miles so that he could turn him into the Demon Prosecutor.

Cases 2 and 3 couldn't have been written for another protagonist. And it makes sense, doesn't it? Because going into AAI2, they knew from the get-go that this was going to be a game featuring Miles Edgeworth as the protagonist. As such, all of the cases could be tailored to him. They could incorporate his backstory and history in much deeper, more meaningful ways. They didn't have to make what were essentially, for him, a game full of third cases that were interesting, but didn't do anything too deep for him. Again, that doesn't excuse how Kay was treated, since AAI1's story should have been about her in the same way that the original trilogy was really about the Fey clan instead of Phoenix -- but it does still explain why AAI1's cases felt like such filler, whereas AAI2's cases don't. It explains why AAI2's cases feel like they have so much more weight, so much more to lose your mind over in terms of lore and foreshadowing for things that you know are to come after the flashback case concludes. Because unlike with AAI1, they had a clear idea of what they were doing from the start, with no need to change protagonists partway through production.

Anyway, I'm not finished with AAI2 yet, so who knows; maybe it will do something that will massively disappoint and infuriate me and my entire opinion will change. But these are my thoughts right now. Once again, please do not spoil me on ANYTHING regarding Investigations 2, because I have never played it before and avoided all spoilers for all these years because I was just that dedicated to my fantasy of an official localization, thank you.

#ace attorney #aai #aai2 #aai2 spoilers #aai spoilers

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jeanystillbeany · 2 months ago

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BillFord Fic

I haven’t gotten invited to ao3 yet so I’ll just post it here anyway. It doesn’t have a name so I’ll just post a teaser or whatever. Idfk. It’s a billford fic ig. As soon as I get ao3 I’ll post it on there. I do have more written. I’m just taking the first part for a test drive. Let me know ur thoughts! (Literally anything- name suggestions scene suggestions, if i should post it on ao3, explanations etc.)

Entry 167: Series 6

Out of all the curiosities I’ve studied in my travels, this has to be one of the most shocking enigmas yet. This timeline had the bottom story of the shack left with two gaping holes at the top. In fact, it’s as though the shack grew legs and walked away. Which is completely bizarre- even for a weirdness magnet such as Gravity Falls, Oregon. The countless timelines I’ve visited so far were nowhere near this level of insanity. This level of… intrigument. The state of the timeline has this enrapturing effect on me.

Recently the timelines I’ve been traveling through have had a different variable. Two in fact. As it turns out, me and my brother have a great-grandniece and nephew. Dipper and Mabel. While I’ve been careful to not interact with any timelines I’ve found myself caught up in (especially after that incident with the Time Police), I still somehow find myself growing attached to the two. For the past few months I’ve been observing them through the different timelines I’ve traveled to. There has also been the reoccurring pattern of their other ‘Gruncle’ re-emerging from the same portal I find myself appearing from every few days. I’ve been waiting… counting down the days til it’s my turn. And yet, I still don’t understand why I continue to keep that false hope in my pocket. The multiverse is infinite. The chances of me ever finding my home universe is nearly pointless. While I could always take the place of another Stanford… The Time Police would be on my case in a second. I also understand that the multiverse I was sent to wasn’t the same one as the other Stanfords. While I’m dealing with infinites of my brother, they were dealing with beasts beyond basic human comprehension… and yet I’d much rather that than to be cursed knowing I’d never get home. To see Dipper and Mabel fail… over and over… with myself unable to assist… sometimes I thought it was driving me mad.

I’ve certainly spent more time reciting the last few entries than I should’ve. So I shall continue with the present. The shambles of my lab have made for an adequate shelter. (Save for the 2 overgrown hairless mole rats I’ve needed to fight off for my rations). The sky appears to be a blood red, many of the familiar surrounding trees were reduced to brambles, probably by some larger species I’d like to take the time to investigate at a later hour. This area has been intensely modified compared to the other Gravity Falls I’ve been in. I have a hunch this is due to the large vortex that ripped through the dimension. (That was in fact sarcasm my dear reader). So far I’ve studied and dissected one of those overgrown Eye-Bats that can turn a person to stone just by looking at them. From memory; I will promise they were much smaller and could not turn one to stone in my own timeline. Why would anyone feel the need to weirdify these anomalies? Some sort of apocalypse has settled over this world. Whether or not it was always like this is unknown. I’m leaning towards the latter though. I shortly ran out of things to do after examining my last two specimens and I itched for more information on these preternatural creatures.

Ford sat in what was left of his desk chair and kicked his feet up. He would kill for a mug of coffee right now.

Ford ran a hand through his hair. Since the portal incident, he’s grown it out. He’s grateful he didn’t cut it when he could. It more than likely would’ve exaggerated the up and coming gray hair. Though… he shouldn’t exactly care how he looks because he’s not supposed to be seen in other timelines according to the Time Police. In the end, he still does get a fond satisfaction of knowing he’s at least well kept. And mistakes happen. He continues to have the same clothing pattern of turtle necks- though he only ever wears them underneath his long coat. It proved to be very useful when traveling timelines. The amount of pockets he had to keep so many samples in almost seemed like cheating. He also always had his bag with him. Most of his pockets aren’t big enough for his journal, and he’s filled up a couple while he was traveling timelines. His love of pockets also extended to his lower half making sure to have maximum pockets on his cargo pants. He even bothered with a hidden one in his shoe for an emergency lock pick. If that wasn’t enough, his obsession with Sci-Fi led to him wanting to live it to its full extent, so naturally he put knives in both heels of his boots as well.

Normally he’d care that there were some contaminated combat boots being rubbed all over his desk. But now? He thought he might as well embrace the end of the world. He loved his family to death, but if any of them saw him in a timeline other than his origin the whole universe would collapse in on itself, and they would be the ones dead. Ford could always scramble back to his portal and go to the next timeline. According to the Time Police that is. Though there have been many instances where he has intervened in his earlier days with no consequence.

The man mindlessly fiddled with his gun on the inside pocket of his coat. He wanted to study more. Maybe the giant gash in the sky was the root of his greatest mystery! He unhooked his heels from the edge of his desk and swung them around towards the bunker hatch. He pushed himself off from the armrests of the chair. Stanford climbed up the ladder and popped his head out of the bunker. He supposed the first step would be to find a lookout point. If he was lucky he might be able to stay in one place long enough to do a quick sketch of this timeline’s situation. The first place Stanford’s mind drifted was his abandoned UFO- though it was identified and no longer flying, so he dubbed it the alien spacecraftt. It gave a perfect view of the entire town and was rather close to his current position. Ford gave a once over of everything in his satchel. He plucked out his journal in order to sift through the small bit of food, water and any other trinkets he had before neatly replacing it and went on his way.

As Ford traveled he kept a hand on his gun. Aside from the terrors the scientist was getting antsy to encounter, he was the only other sound he heard. His boots trudged along the ground -making distinct squishing sounds- as though he were walking in his own wet socks. The ground beneath him was unnaturally wet causing the uncomfortable feeling. There was the occasional shuffle as he adjusted his jacket to the odd temperatures. Ford made a mental note to journal about the seemingly miniature air masses that drastically changed the temperatures in as little as every few feet he walked. The long coat was currently adjusted to be draped over his shoulders, as Ford found this to be a happy medium and made a constant grip on his gun easier.

A rumble struck the ground just as Ford’s own foot hit the earth. The man felt a jitter course through him, crawling up his spine.

“Another weirdness wave!” The man exclaimed with much more enthusiasm than anyone else trapped in this hell bubble ever would. He licked the first two of his fingers and raised them up in the air, turning them at different angles until he found the direction that gave his moistened fingers the most chill. After finding the wind direction he quickly hid behind a tree and scrambled through his bag. His six-fingered hand reemerged with a sort of hand made device. It was made from old lab parts created during his first few days in this timeline. It allowed him to calculate the intensity of the weirdness wave and further study its properties. He carefully placed the machine away from the cover of the tree and braced himself for things to get weird.

The wave passed over Stanford relatively easily and he observed no mutations to himself. Stanford went to pick up his wave reader when-

“Oh. How peculiar… Shit.” The man’s handmade invention had grown to compete with the surrounding forest’s pine trees. For a moment the Author thought that he would be unable to run. For a moment the Author believed he was frozen in time. For a moment he saw himself as a child. For a moment he saw his brother. For a moment he saw the twins.

Stanford found the right gears that made the joints in his legs move. This was no longer his invention. It had grown six legs of its own. The calculator screen that was once used as a makeshift reader display was its mouth and the antenna was its tongue. Ford was tempted to take a picture, though he doubted such would be worth his life. He raced through the forest. It was almost as if its size grew due to this oddity apocalypse. The scientist didn’t have a chance. Every time he heaved himself over a log, the creature could bash itself right through it after him. He needed to think of something… he’d kill to meet his niece and nephew.

The Author took out his loaded gun as he ran through the brambles. He took a sharp turn, causing the monster to slide in an effort to regain its balance. Ford began to aim as the creature was tipped onto its side. It landed with a loud thump, causing multiple mutated birds to fly away startled. Stanford lowered his gun and stood stunned in front of his creation, as its legs flailed about, damaging the surrounding shrubbery.

“Intriguing!” Ford quickly snapped a picture. As much as he’d like to inspect the helpless thing more, he deemed it safer to continue with his original task. He would’ve stayed longer if one of the monster’s legs didn’t reach out and claw at his coat, tearing it down its side. A bit closer and the scientist would’ve been seriously injured. He jumped back and continued with his task of sketching this new timeline. He also made a mental note to log his encounter in the journal when he was in the clear.

He finally made it to the spacecraft. Ford would definitely consider using this as a hideout in this world. Contrary to Ford’s belief, the state of this timeline was only in Gravity Falls. He remembers studying the Natural Law of Weirdness Magnetism as a younger man, but he never believed it could affect anything to this extent. Ford sat down atop the spacecraft. He snapped a picture of the surrounding scene.

Entry 167 B. Series 6

There seemed to be a large barrier encasing Gravity Falls. More than likely the Natural Law of Weirdness Magnetism. I’ve studied the topic before and have come up with a simple equation to break it. The scene before me is both exhilarating and dread ensuing. To even think about the situations my brother and the kids have gone through haunts me. I want nothing more than to be able to talk with them. Even if it’s not my universe. I want to hear their stories and watch them grow up… I wish for my own universe. I’ve traveled the timelines for much too long. I’ve watched them. But I want to see them. To meet my Mabel, my Dipper, my Stanley. I want to meet my family. But where would I even start? The time police?

I looked off to the sunless horizon and noticed a large pink orb sitting dead center of the train tracks with Mabel’s zodiac on it. My breathing sputtered. Just what were these kids into this timeline? I decided it’d be best to head back to the lab. I’d like to be there when the portal reopens.

Maybe… maybe I can try one more time. My sentence is already high enough as it is with the Time Police… I want to help my niece and nephew… no matter what universe they’re in. There has to be a reason the Time Police aren’t on my tail by now… especially after that monster was created. I’ll spend the night at the lab again and work on relocating to the spacecraft tomorrow. Then I’ll find my brother.

Ford replaced his bookmark into his journal and brushed himself off. He stood up on the roof of the dead spaceship and gave one last glance at the world he found himself in before beginning the few hour trek to where the Mystery Shack once stood. Stanford was nearly to his hideout. About where he left the wave reading monster. There was one problem that had unnerved the Author for more than one reason. A question that bubbled out of his mouth as soon as he seen the large clearing in the trees where the monster had been discarded.

“Where is it?” His question was shortly answered as a screech was heard not too far behind him.

“Fuck! Are you Serious?!” The scientist grumbled and quickened his pace. It was following him. Either it had extremely sensitive hearing or it was tracking him by scent. Whatever the case was, his hands itched to jot it down in his journal. He didn’t have much time for that as he found himself being chased by the beast once again. Ford continued to race to the lab and attempted to slide into the underground space. The mechanical creature’s claw lurched out and nicked his back, sending him flying forward and creating another large hole in the roof. He landed ungraciously on the floor of his lab with a groan. As a last resort Ford turned over on his back and began shooting wildly through the crack. The mechanical anomaly screeched as it was shot at, retreating immediately. Ford felt the back of his coat begin to soak and his vision blur. The tips of his finger began to numb as his arm fell to the ground.

With one last screech, a fourth hole was punctured into the top of the lab, right over the portal, leaving Ford’s escape in shambles. He would’ve screamed, or yelped with his hand held out dramatically as any Author such as himself would, but that was the last sight seen before he passed out completely.

“Do you think it’s dead?”

“I say we eat it”

“Dudes. Is it just me? Or does it kinda look like Mr. Pines.”

“Soos. It has SIX FINGERS! SIX! It had to be some sort of clone… or- or… imposter.” Pages began to flip in the background of the following commotion. Quiet muttering was also heard following each turn of paper- though it was mostly blocked out by the pounding in Ford’s head.

“Mr. Pines… do you… know anything about this?” Ford was becoming conscious enough to pick out voices. This seemed to be the only female among the group.

“Stanford…?” This was a new voice. Much older than the others. It wavered as it said his name- effectively snapping him out of the painful slumber he was in.

Ford started with a groan and his eyes squinted shut, adjusting to the abnormal light- even for the living world. In this universe that is.

“Dudes. It’s waking up.” Ford mumbled and rubbed his head. Thankfully the wound on his back didn’t go that deep into his back. Though the semi-dried blood latching the fabric of his coat to himself was very uncomfortable.

“Sixer!” Stanford opened his eyes just in time to see the back of a tacky red hat by the side of his head. Arms enveloped his shoulders partially helping Ford keep himself up.

“Stanley…” The scientist just barely breathed out.

“STANLEY?!” Ford couldn’t be bothered to look up from his brother’s shoulder at the other’s exclaimation

“Is anyone else confused right now? Cause I’m confused.” Soos commented. Stanley sighed before releasing his disoriented brother.

“Kids, Soos, I want you to meet… the author of the journals.” Stan was hesitant to let go of his brother, as though if he let go of his brother’s shoulder he’d disappear back into the fabrics of existence. Dipper did an excited squeal and almost ran up to properly greet his practical obsession, but Wendy put a calm hand on his shoulder to stop him from ruining the two brothers' moment. She decided she needed more context with her boss’ secret twin before Dipper butted in.

“Stanley. I need- I need to tell you something.” Stanford’s voice wavered with guilt. As multiple scenarios ran through his head. More than likely this wasn’t his universe. He doesn’t know what happened to his own timeline, or this one… though it’s not like he can continue traveling timelines with the portal busted. Ford opened his mouth to speak- but no sound came out as a thought surfaced to his head.

‘…what if this is my timeline? What if the portal busted for a reason? Maybe… I can stay a while. They need my help…’

“Yeah?” Stanley asked- a small smile almost suppressed on his face.

“…I missed you.” Ford sighed out. He pulled Stan back into him. The other man slapped his back playfully with a goofy grin. Ford winced and let out a small yelp.

“Oh… forgot about that. Welp. I smiled too little in the past 3 weeks to smile this much now. Let’s get back to the shack.” As if on queue, an ominous roar shook the ground under them.

“Agreed.” Wendy said.

“Yup, yup, yup, let’s go!” Soos hauled Dipper over his shoulder and sprinted out of the Lab and everyone else followed. Ford found himself lingering for a moment- his eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the remains of his portal. It’s gone. It’s all gone.

“Hey, bro. Let’s get out of here, ‘k?” Stanley put his hand on Ford’s shoulder, offering a hopefully comforting smile.

“We have a lot to talk about Stanley…” Similar to any other earth tremble, the earth shook following the signs of a beast approaching.

“Yeah, yeah. Can we do that later?” Stanley tugged his brother along by the back of his coat leading him out of the lab. Stanford followed behind- occasionally wincing from the pulling on his jacket.

#bill cipher #stanford pines #stanley pines #dipper pines #mabel pines #gravityfalls #gravity falls stanford #gravity falls bill #fanfic #gravity falls fanfiction #billford fic #this is my first time doing this I feel like ford after coming back through the portal #the book of bill #I still need to read the book of bill lol #billford #weirdmageddon #gravity falls weirdmageddon #gravity falls wendy

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accidentally-in-fictional-love · 3 months ago

Note

Ahhhhh Lester Billings fic was so gooodddd I loved ittttttt pls make a part two 🙏🙏🙏

45 Days of Waiting - Lester Billings/Reader

Warnings: Gender neutral reader, no use of Y/N, friends to roommates, accusations of cheating and abuse (both false of course), reader is still pining, Lester is still sad, happy ending.

Wordcount: 25210

Summary: You called in every favour you could to find someone to take his case so he could get his family back, but inviting him to stay with you was surely bound to have more consequences than even you could've expected as your friendship with him blossoms even more.

Notes: Ask and you shall receive hehe the idea of writing out the custody hearing was always in my mind when thinking of the sequel to this, but godDAMN did I not expect it to be so long. The hearing itself takes up a good chunk of this, but there's also a ton of other scenes as your friendship (and relationship? 😏) grows, so while this is the longest reader of mine to date somehow I promise it'll be a worthy read that'll lead into even more with him as I go through the final two requests for him in my queue 😊 And while there are OCs of mine in here as secondary characters again, I may've gone a bit overboard with my usual Matty cameo hehehe

I also looked up how long the original story was, and it was only 4808. I've written over 6x the amount of plot for this man than Stephen King himself, so I think it's now safe to say I now own him and this is now how his life turns out 👍 Hope everyone who might've looked forward to this enjoys it 💗💗💗

It was Thursday night again, your car pulling into the grocery store in town as it always did at around 5:15PM. It was the soonest you could get there after work, and you'd been working like crazy lately, your office phone ringing off the hook and calling just as much as you attempted to trade in every single favour you had stocked up. You were dead tired as you yanked a cart free and started on the list in your hand, the usual favourites now followed by a bunch of healthy foods as well as the odd treat. It was a long list, but money hadn't been an issue ever since you'd started your job at the firm, and now that Lester was working again he always made sure to pay you back since he was now spending his Thursdays, along with every other night, at the office for as long as he could get away with.

It'd been a couple weeks since you'd found him at Walkers, since he’d confessed to you that his wife was leaving him and taking his kids on the suspicion of cheating, and the thought of it still made your blood boil as you stared at the pasta sauces and grabbed your favourite, not hers. You placed two jars into your cart and moved on, each item crossed off your list until you reached the dessert counter at the end, the worker seeing you coming and already preparing two slices of Caramel Pecan for you and him to take home.

It was still a little strange to think about how he was coming home to you, just temporarily until he could finish securing a new place of his own that'd be suitable for his kids, something he hadn't dared to think about when he'd started his hunt, but to you all the same. He took up your entire couch to the point where you'd had to take pity on him after that first night, your bed offered to him when he'd woken up with his back irritated from being all bunched up. He didn't want it, he was already imposing on you during all of this, but one offered massage later had him feeling better and a little more ready to get a good night's sleep.

You'd checked on him that second night, his suitcases decorating your floor and the single picture he'd managed to grab decorating your nightstand where he could see it before he fell asleep, and you vowed again that this wouldn't stay his future as you'd spent the rest of the night looking up every big name in your work contact list.

You packed the groceries into your car and headed home, his receipt separate from yours so he could keep track of what he owed you as usual, and you planned on what to make for him by the time he got home later that night all the way back to your house. It was a long drive, so you had plenty of time to create a meal based on what you'd just bought, your fingers tapping the wheel as you wondered if he'd prefer the kale salad tonight or if he'd want to go with the stir fry instead.

It was almost unbelievable how fast your crush kept trying to come back now that you saw him every day, little reminders of why you'd properly fallen in the first place cropping up and trying to distract you from your cause, but each time you just swallowed them down; he needed a friend right now, the poor guy was about to lose his marriage for goodness sake, so any interference from you and your own needs would only make him feel worse.

You'd seen cases like this before, one wrong move and Rita would be able to use everything out of context and prove that he was unfaithful to the judge while she made her claim for full custody, and if you were the cause of her winning you'd never be able to forgive yourself.

You forced yourself to breathe as you pulled into the driveway, everything needing to be carried up the small steps to your front door as soon as it was opened, and just as you propped it open and got ready to bring everything in you ended up pausing at the smell of food. You stepped inside, sniffing curiously as you wondered if maybe one of you had forgotten to turn something off or throw something away that morning, and when you reached the kitchen you froze with a pounding heart when you saw Lester standing at the sink, currently peeling and slicing potatoes while a big pan of beef was browning on the stove.

‘You're h- back early,’ you pointed out as he transferred the potatoes to another pan, and he jumped only a little before chuckling and wiping off his hands.

‘Yeah, I'm going in again after dinner, I just wanted to thank you for all you've been doing for me lately,’ he explained almost nervously, like you wouldn't appreciate the gesture, and you forgot all about the food in your car and all the wide open doors you'd left behind as you rushed forward to give him a hug. You caught yourself before he could hug you back, your hands coming up to straighten your work casual clothes as you cleared your throat. You were very aware of how inappropriate that just was despite you being friends, but before you could apologize he pulled you right back into it. ‘What kind of thanks comes without a hug?’ he asked into your shoulder, and you held him tightly until a mix of the beef spitting grease everywhere and your front door slamming shut made you part.

‘Oh yeah, the groceries, I'll help you cook after I bring them all in,’ you offered as you headed back for the car, Lester shaking his head and mixing around the beef now that more of it was browned.

‘This is my thanks to you, I do know how to make a thing or two without needing a menu,’ he joked lively, his familiar smile back again, and you just smiled right back before rushing out to bring everything in.

You were at work that week when someone finally called you back, a woman from a neighbouring firm who you'd worked with a few times and was interested in his case. She was aware of his financial situation, how Rita had kept all the cards and how he was stuck to his brand new debit account that was only loaded with a few paychecks for the moment, and together you'd worked out that this would be pro bono for now; when he was given access back to his personal savings - which she was hoarding in order to pay the bills - then he would be able to pay her.

What he wouldn't know was that you'd also called in one of your favours so the bill for this would be lessened, just another kindness to him while he went through all of this. She was on the phone with you as you wrote all of this down into a personal report to give to her to help with the case, the receiver cradled between your jaw and shoulder before you remembered that speakerphone had been invented even on landlines.

‘He's staying with me for the time being, he has a few places we're gunna check out next week to see if they'd be a good fit for his kids to visit until he can start hunting for a house again,’ you told her as you set the phone down, your hands moving fast over the keyboard of your laptop in time with your voice. ‘They're all in town, so they won't have to be too far from their school and friends, that was something he forgot about when he first started looking, but it's all sorted and we just need to settle on a location and price.’

‘You keep saying, “we,” be sure not to do that during any meetings, not when his wife is already accusing him of being unfaithful,’ Gwen reminded you warily, and you mentally slapped your hand to your forehead as you kept on typing.

‘Shit, yeah, sorry, it's been harder not to lately since he keeps asking for my opinion,’ you groaned, all of your thoughts on all the things you'd been doing together overwriting the fact that he should be doing this on his own even without you acting as his lawyer, just his friend.

‘It's fine with us, I know you'd never put him in that position, but you never know who she might be hiring to falsify evidence in her favour when she's this convinced that it's true.’ She paused to take a drink of something so you paused in return to stretch your hands, your cell lighting up with a text from him asking if you want him to pick up anything on the way home since he knew you would also be late; home, he'd started calling it that even though you’d tried your damndest not to, and your crush whispered in your ear about how right it sounded as you quickly tapped out a reply and set the device back down again.

‘We don't spend any time together outside of the house, and we leave at different times so unless she has someone actually following us, which I will report, there's nothing going on here other than me helping out a friend,’ you told her as you got back to your report, and you heard her click her tongue a couple times before adjusting how she held her own phone.

‘Still, be careful during this, you may not be representing him due to your closeness to this case, but you became a liability to him the moment you opened your door to him under this suspicion. Keep it platonic, keep it distant, don't add fuel to the fire, and we can meet sometime next week to go over the rest of the details, okay? Just text me your address and I'll be there, the less he's seen in public with anyone the better so long as we don't know who she thinks the cheating is with.’ You nodded guiltily even though she couldn't see, your hands stopping their typing as you touched your cheek again even though the sting was long gone.

You didn't know if it'd really be brought up during the hearing, but you didn't want to have to tell him that the accused was actually you, your appearance in his life only making everything go to hell in such a short time. You knew deep down that it wasn't actually your fault, you'd never made a single move on him and she was only lashing out in jealousy over something that didn't exist, but you knew that custody tended to favour the mothers and if there was a single shred of doubt that she could twist into him looking like a bad father then you would play the part of friend until even you believed it.

The call ended and you texted her your address along with a good time when the neighbours were usually out, it'd be easy to leave work for this at least on your part, Lester's boss giving him a little more leniency than usual while this was sorted so far so hopefully it wouldn't be an issue for him either. You saved your report and shut your laptop for the night, you had no more energy to do this and you needed to eat, your earlier denial of takeout being redacted as you texted him your favourites from the place he had to now pass by to get to you.

The meeting couldn't come sooner, Lester on constant edge as he paced around your room the night before. You could hear exactly where he was as you tried to sleep on the couch in the next room, each creak in the wood giving away his position until finally it stopped. You sighed, it'd been hours and it had honestly been keeping you awake, but not because of the noise; you were just as nervous as he was, the two of you up late before this deep cleaning your entire one-story house just to be sure you were ready to start this battle, and you were until you'd heard him get out of bed and start pacing.

Now your room was quiet again, and you waited for the sound of snoring when you heard your door creak open next instead. ‘Hey, I can't sleep,’ came his small voice from the doorway, and you couldn't even pretend to be asleep when he could clearly see your face looking his way from there.

‘Me either,’ you admitted as you pushed yourself onto your elbows, Lester brushing his messy bangs out of his eyes, and you could see how tired they were even from there. ‘Want me to put on some coffee? We can watch something until we fall asleep.’

‘No, but… it's silly, nevermind.’ He went to shut the door, your body sitting up even more as you pushed aside your blanket.

‘Wait, you can tell me, I'm worried about tomorrow, too,’ you confided in him before the door could shut, and he let out his own sigh as he opened it back up again.

‘I've been lying next to someone for over 20 years, and lately I've been too… too sad or too tired to notice but… I can't ignore it tonight, not now that I know this is happening starting tomorrow.’ Your mouth went dry as you understood his pacing, and you moved on instinct before you could stop yourself. ‘You don't have to, I just- don't want to be alone, tonight,’ he mumbled, this new and sad version of him cropping up again as the thoughts of sleeping without his longtime girlfriend and then wife and mother of his children clearly plagued him.

‘What're friends for?’ you could only say as you joined him in your room, an unspoken tension filling the air as he still tried to backtrack.

‘I'm not asking for… uh, sexual favours, or anything,’ he mumbled nervously, and you quickly raised your hands and took a step back as you prayed the darkness of the night was hiding your blush.

‘I didn't come in here expecting you to!’ you clarified just as nervously in way too loud a voice for that late at night, and he smiled in relief as his shoulders relaxed.

‘Okay, thank you, it's just that the thought of sleeping alone- for the longest time I'd forgotten how that felt, and like I said I've been too distracted to think about it until now, but if you'd rather not I can try,’ he insisted as to not pressure you, and you had to silence your crush with something louder as you took his hand and led him towards the bed.

‘You don't need to explain yourself to me, you're going through something I can't even imagine, if this'll help you then I want to help,’ you told him honestly, and he pushed aside his fear as he got back into bed. You made sure the blinds were all closed just in case, your talk with Gwen making you a bit paranoid as the room got even darker, and when you were done you made sure your pajamas were a little less loose before climbing in after him.

You laid arm to arm with a generous amount of space between you, your entire body stiff as you felt him tense as well; neither of you were going to be able to fall asleep at this rate, so you quickly let out a breath and rolled onto your side. You faced him, both physically and metaphorically, in order to let him turn his back to you, maybe your arm around him would be more appreciated than him thinking he could hold you and pretend, but to your surprise he faced you as well, maybe stuck in the same train of thought of what he wanted.

‘What do we do now?’ he asked you softly, your hands gripping the sheets as your eyes quickly looked away from his lips.

‘I dunno, how did you usually sleep?’ you asked back, and he gave a slight shrug as he also looked away from you.

‘She didn't like it much towards the end, but… I usually held Rita until I was able to fall asleep, something about the dark has always made it harder for me, I think I might’ve passed that on to Annie…’ He fell silent again upon thinking of his daughter, still at home and waiting for her dad to come tuck her in and kiss her goodnight, and when you both sniffed at the same time you couldn't stop yourself; you leaned forward in the dim light, your hand finding his cheek and leading the way towards him, and even though his breath hitched and he didn't close his eyes, he also didn't pull away as you pressed a kiss to his lips.

You pulled back almost immediately, reality catching up to you the moment he angled his head just enough to kiss you back, and you sat right up and started apologizing before his gentle hand found yours.

‘I still love my wife, even though she's doing this,’ was all he told you, the kindness and understanding you'd come to love showing up when you wanted it the least, and you tore your hand free to wipe at your cheek.

‘I know, I don't know why I did that, that's not why I came in here,’ you said as fast as you could, your mind racing as you felt the embarrassment and shame from the kiss beat you down until you were starting to panic; you knew he didn't need this right now, any feelings you still had for him very unappreciated when he still loved his wife and was trying his hardest to get his family back. Your feelings for him coming out now would only ruin everything, you didn't belong in that part of his life, and if you'd just walked away that day at the party then maybe this never would've even happened. ‘I'm sorry, I'm ruining everything, I never meant to-’

‘Come here, it's okay,’ he shushed you, his voice too soft and too kind as he pulled you back down to the bed. He turned you until your back was to his chest, and you tried to still your sobs even more now that he could feel this with his entire body as he wrapped his arm around your waist. ‘I know I'm being selfish here, I never should've asked this much from you, but I can't return your kindness like this, not when I don't feel the same,’ he murmured into your shoulder, and you tried to hide the way your body instinctively curled up at his words.

‘I never wanted you to,’ you replied into your pillow, and you felt him hold you a little tighter until the sound of gentle snoring reached your ear; just laying like this had put him to sleep, the comfort of being able to hold someone again lulling away the stress of it all until he was able to rest. You held him just a moment before letting go, your hands clenched into your pillow as you stared at the faint moonlight coming through your blinds. ‘I'm sorry, I should've just walked away, I never meant to do this to you,’ you told him properly, but he didn't hear any of it, and you knew it as you kept apologizing until you also fell asleep in his arms.

Despite being up late, the two of you were awake as soon as the sunlight filled the room, the few hours you were able to get seemingly enough for him as he looked a little less tired. You slept a little longer than him, just enough to slip free and grab some clothes so you could shower fast and make sure everything was ready for Gwen's arrival a good 8 hours later. You were in the middle of rinsing your hair when you heard him moving around outside the door, the sound of him rummaging through his suitcases making you frown as the water ran over your face.

This was temporary, he was here to save himself some much needed money from hotels while he looked for a new home, you didn't belong in that part of his life. You repeated that to yourself as you finished up, the bathroom free for him as you opened the door with your brush still in hand. He froze as he went to pass, your hand stilling as you tamed your drying hair, an awkwardness settling over you that made you wish he'd find his own place even sooner.

‘I'm sorry, about last night,’ he mumbled as he held his clothes for the day, this surprising you as you set your brush down. ‘I shouldn't have asked that of you, I didn't know you had…’

‘I don't,’ you were quick to lie, needing to console him more than let your feelings be known right now, ‘I don't know why I… did what I did last night, that wasn't fair to you.’

He looked away but not in his own embarrassment, even though he'd kissed you back despite saying he didn't feel the same. ‘It was a vulnerable moment, we can act irrationally in times like that,’ he began, his hands worrying around his clothes as he fussed with them, ‘I know this, because when Rita told me she wanted the divorce, I found myself getting angry at her, for the first time since we got together.’ You turned to face him entirely, your focus only on him as he all but collapsed against the doorframe. ‘We've had arguments before, it's not like I've never been mad at her in all our years of knowing each other, all couples fight, but when she said those words to me- I don't know, at the time I could only feel anger, betrayal, confusion, and-’

He stopped, you'd talked about how he'd felt after he moved in since he couldn't afford to see a therapist, but this was new as you waited patiently for him to trust you with the rest.

‘I lashed out, then. I didn't hit her, I never could, but I made her feel unsafe around me when I tried to get her to tell me why she was doing this. That's why she's claiming full custody, not because she thinks I was cheating.’ You didn't realize you were holding your breath until your chest started to ache for a different reason, and when you approached him he allowed you to lead him back to the bed so he could sit down.

His eyes were sad again, sadder than you'd ever seen them, and you knew that he'd been carrying this secret the entire time you'd been trying to help him.

‘I needed to tell you before it came out any other way, you deserve to know that much after everything you're doing for me, and that's why I don't blame you or hate you for that kiss, it wasn't like I didn't enjoy just a bit of positive affection, after everything that's been going on…’

‘Lester, I… thank you, for telling me this. You need to tell Gwen when she comes over, Rita is sure to use this and we need to prove to them that this was a one time thing, that you would never hurt your family,’ you told him seriously, your hands grasping his arm as he stared at the floor in shame of his actions no matter how they'd turned out. He nodded but didn't look hopeful, and you knew you shouldn't but still you wrapped your arms around him, let him know you were there and on his side; he eased into you, a long sigh of relief leaving him as you pulled him even closer to you, your hands locking over his arm when you felt him tremble.

‘It's my own fault, I caused this…’ You held him tighter, your face burying into his shoulder as he covered his own with his hand. ‘Maybe if I'd paid better attention to her, listened to her concerns, been a better husband-’

‘You did everything you could, I've never known you to be anything but that,’ you insisted as he shook his head, not wanting to hear it.

‘It wasn't good enough.’

You fell back onto the mattress, dragging him with you until he lost his balance, and as soon as he was laying down you let go of his arms to instead sit up and cup his cheeks so he'd look at you. ‘Stop it. I've been doing this a long time, Lester. I've seen truly bad people do even worse things, and I've seen colleagues I trusted represent these people in order to make them look like saints. I've seen bad, I've seen terrible, neglect, abuse, evil. And you're none of these things,’ you insisted, and when he was unable to look away he just laid there and listened as the tears rolled down his cheeks. ‘You're a wonderful father, and even if you made a mistake in a moment of great distress, that doesn't make you a monster.

‘The monsters are out there, waiting to strike when you're most vulnerable, and they'll take and devour until good people like you are gone. And I won't let that happen to you or your kids, do you hear me?’ He met your eye when your hands started to shake, not with sadness but determination at your words, you were going to help him, he was going to get his kids back, and you'd fight off any monster it took to get to that point.

‘Why're you doing this for me?’ he suddenly asked as he fell completely still, and your hands left him as you sat back and just stared at him. ‘I know I've been staying here, but we still barely know each other, not enough for you to do this much.’

Because I love you.

‘Because I'm your friend, or, I thought I was, if you think that we're not close enough for this.’ You couldn't pretend it didn't hurt, your face betraying how hard you were trying to keep it together, and when he took your hands and brought you down you fell just as easily as he did.

‘You are, and you've been there for me when none of the others have,’ he whispered into your hair, your chest aching as you remembered just how many people had been at his parties. ‘Once it got out that I punched that wall they all sided with her, if it wasn't for you I'd be alone.’

‘It's not fair.’

‘...I'm sorry to put all this on you.’

‘No, it's not fair that she's taking everything from you. I wish I had contacted Gwen first, I wish I could be the one to do this for you, you don't know- fuck, I don't understand it,’ you moaned as you rested your cheek on his chest, the two of you just holding each other as the sun rose even higher in the sky and officially started the day. ‘We'll tell her everything, she's good, I've seen her help so many good people who didn't stand a chance otherwise, and I know you do despite how this all looks; we’ll convince them all it's not true, I won't stop until we do.’

‘You're a good friend, I wish I'd met you sooner,’ he said softly, and you could hear his smile as your hands clung to his shirt this time.

‘Yeah, I do too.’

You both laid there until you fell asleep again, he really needed the comfort of another person there in order to really relax, and you both felt better as you woke up a second time a few hours later. Your entire home felt less tense, and there was no running around as you made some brunch and went over what you were going to say. Thanks to your report she already knew a lot of what'd happened from your perspective, but getting to meet with him would be what he needed now that he was ready to talk about everything and not just what you thought you knew.

When she finally arrived it felt like there was some real hope for him, everything coming out about that night as you all sat down in your living room and spread out the pages on your coffee table. He told you how she'd approached him before bed just after he'd tucked in Annie and Shaun, how she demanded he tell her the truth about who he was seeing, and when he couldn't answer how she'd then accused him of cheating in plain sight. Your heart ached and your hands gripped your couch so hard that they cramped as you listened, Lester going into full detail about how she'd then refused to say who she thought he was seeing, which you knew, but also slapped him when he tried to tell her the truth.

You saw red at that, Gwen stopping the conversation like she'd just realized you'd been there the whole time. ‘Maybe it'd be better if you went for a drive while I talk to him, without representing him there isn't much you can do here,’ she suggested carefully, Lester already starting to shut down as he touched the same cheek as your own slap.

‘No, I want to be here for him, everyone else left and I refuse to do the same, I have no one to break confidentiality with,’ you insisted as you sat up straighter, and when Lester gave a small nod to confirm that he'd prefer your presence there Gwen could only agree and let him finish.

‘Well, after she hit me we ended up arguing loud enough to wake Deni, whose room is closest to ours. She made sure to keep Shaun away when we got louder, she's too responsible for her age, it's because of her that I was able to snap out of it,’ he continued as he fiddled with the pencil he'd used to fill out the forms she'd brought. ‘But first, when Rita was yelling at me, tried to make me believe that I was lying to her and that I was just trying to keep seeing this lover she was convinced I had, when I was starting to get frustrated and couldn't get a word in, that's when she asked for the divorce, or demanded it, really, there was no asking.

‘She was sick of me bringing this lover around to flaunt in front of her, started listing off all these times where I’d invited friends over for stuff like parties and movie nights, but it was always with people she knew, I still don’t- anyway, I think I might’ve blacked out after that, because the next thing I knew I was yelling at her, and when I looked down my knuckles were scratched up and there was an indent in our wall.’ He swallowed heavily, Gwen writing everything down as she stared up at him with a level expression.

‘Did you hit her at any point?’ she asked not to accuse or insinuate, but still you frowned at her as he shut his eyes and tried to concentrate.

‘No, I hit the wall but that was it, I didn’t even grab her when she backed away,’ he confessed, and you hated the woman even more as the tears started to fall again. ‘She told me she wanted full custody right before Deni rushed in to make sure everything was okay, and I didn’t argue with her again about it for the rest of the night.’

‘You slept on the couch?’

‘Deni’s room, she has one of those bunkbeds with the folding couch as the bottom bunk, since her friends are always staying the night; I slept on that since she didn’t want me to be alone, I swear she’s too mature…’ He smiled fondly but sadly as he cleaned himself up, he really missed her and her siblings, and you exchanged a look with Gwen as she finished writing. ‘The next morning she had a bag already packed for me, we were supposed to go on vacation so it was at the end of the bed, said she wanted me out because she was done listening to my lies, and I’ve only been back once since then to properly pack when the kids were out of the house so they wouldn’t have to see us fight again.’

‘And did you fight, that second time?’

‘No, I just packed up a few suitcases and left while she kept watch, made sure I didn’t take anything, it’s only while she was heading for the door that I was able to grab a picture of our kids from the TV stand.’ He let out a breath, he felt better getting it all out to someone who was going to help him, like a sinner confessing to a priest, and you reached over and gave his hand a reassuring pat as Gwen hummed to herself and put her notebook down.

‘Do you think you’d be able to remember exactly who was at these events she listed? If we can make a comprehensible list of everyone there we might be able to guess who she thinks this lover is, get them to stand with us and tell the judge that this is all a big understanding, although I do think a divorce might be beneficial for everyone after the amount of distrust and toxicity that arose between you,’ she said honestly, and instantly he straightened up, his hands grasping the table as he nearly fell to his knees.

‘But my kids-’

‘We’ll still fight for custody, at best it’ll be shared, but that’ll be better than letting her get full, don’t you agree?’ He nodded, even though he didn’t like the sound of not being able to see them everyday he still nodded all the same, and you reached for him again when Gwen interrupted by handing him her notebook, a new page waiting for him. ‘Try and remember as many names as you can, from as many of her events as well, everything helps right now,’ she told him as he took it, and he nodded again before concentrating on all the friends he tended to invite to his many parties; you didn’t realize how much you missed them until that moment, missed how in his element he was as he helped grill, set up the projector, toweled off his kids until they were embarrassed and had to fix their hair in front of their laughing friends.

The man before you was so different than him, all hunched shoulders and sad eyes, and with each name that he added to the list you knew that it was your fault he looked like this, everything all because of you and the reason why he wasn't at home right now throwing another party and jumping into the pool with a full stomach and reckless abandon. You wanted to tell him sorry again, your hands clasped in your lap as he finished up the list and handed it back over, Gwen’s eyes trailing over it for any names that stood out repeatedly when her frown of concentration turned to one of concern instead.

‘This is very helpful, thank you, I’ll start contacting them this week if you can give me their numbers next, and would you be able to help me grab something from the car real quick?’ The second part was directed at you, and your own frown turned to one of matching concern as he began going through his phone to write down as many numbers as he could before your return. You followed her outside, her car parked behind yours since his was hidden in your garage, but she didn’t go to it as soon as she shut the door behind herself. ‘It’s you, isn’t it?’

‘What?’

‘Please don’t play dumb with me right now, your name was listed under every single event right down to the movie night with one other couple, you’re the one Rita thinks he’s cheating on her with, aren’t you?’ Her gaze was serious and almost angry as she spoke, no more neutral calmness as she stared you down, and you tried to say no before it all spilled out all at once.

‘Don’t tell him, please-’

‘Jesus!’

‘We never did anything, he only ever invited me over with everyone else, there really was nothing going on,’ you insisted desperately, Gwen rubbing her eyes as she backed away from you.

‘You’ve just made this so much harder to prove, he’s been staying at your fucking house for weeks,’ she groaned into her palm, her eyes on the door like she could see him still seated at the couch on the other side of the wood. ‘What did you do to give her the impression that he was seeing you, because clearly he has no idea it’s you.’

‘Nothing-! I really did nothing, I just showed up a few times, it wasn't even that many, I would never pursue a married man.’ You needed her to believe you, she was his only shot and even though you only just barely knew each other you knew that if she bailed then that was it, no one else would help him. ‘I swear to you, my intentions have only been innocent since the start, he doesn’t even know I-’

‘You have feelings for him, sonofabitch if that gets out her lawyer will use that to high heaven, everything you’ve done will be twisted into something selfish, you letting him stay here could end up being his downfall, how could you do something so stupid?’

You bit your lip as you rested against the wall of the entryway, the bricks cold against your back as you fought not to shake. ‘I know it was stupid, but he’d just lost everything, I didn’t want him to keep shelling out money for that hotel while he tried to save up for a house, I thought this was the only way to help him…’

‘We’re going to find him a place today, and he’s going to stay in a hotel until this hearing is over and he can move in.’

‘What, no, he can’t afford it!’

‘And you can’t afford to have Rita find out he’s been here. Fuel to the fire, you know how we work, you know whoever she’s hired will take one look at this situation and use it as proof that you wanted him to yourself, no wife, no kids, just a man who was more than willing to leave his family behind the moment you asked.’ She sighed deeply as you crumbled to the steps, your leg spreading over the small two leading to your sidewalk as you ran your hands through your hair. ‘I know you had good intentions, but this has gotten way out of hand, and if you really want to help him then you’ll keep your distance until this is over. Whether he really is just a friend or if you’re in love with him, you know there’s a good chance you might have to stand up there in front of everyone and explain all of this if her lawyer demands to call on you as proof, and the more deniability you both have to her claims the better, alright?’

‘Alright,’ you repeated, and she left you a moment to grab a box of something from her car to make it seem like you weren’t out there to talk. You stood as she returned, getting the door for her since her hands were now full, and he was none the wiser as you sat again and started going over all the listings he’d bookmarked since he’d been kicked out.

Gwen ended up staying for much longer than expected as you went on a tour of his listings, his insistence that you come along the only reason you weren’t secretly forced to stay home. He’d found both a mix of decently large apartments and smaller houses, nothing near as grand as his old one, but each was affordable, cozy, and in range of both his kids’ school and his work. In the end he was able to make a successful offer on a one-story house similar to yours, and the price was lower due to it needing a bit of work, but it had three bedrooms, two for Deni and Shaun while Annie would sleep in his, a yard big enough to house a pool that just needed to be cleaned and refilled, and a living room big enough for everyone to have more fun movie nights.

It was a dream home, but the work had daunted all the other potential buyers, and he was more than ready to take on the challenge and fix it up himself if need be to distract himself from the upcoming hearing. You wished you could help him with it, but between work and needing to stay as far away from that home as possible you could only cheer him on from afar as he signed the paperwork that day and worked out a payment plan now that Gwen was there to represent him.

‘This is amazing, Deni will want this room because I know Shaun will have claimed this one, the kitchen needs some work but a new stove and some fresh paint will open the space right up, and this living room! If we keep the couches against the wall then everyone will be able to spread out again, maybe I’ll be able to get that sectional I wanted this time, that way there’ll be room for everyone without the need of a loveseat, but of course I need to fix that wall first; good thing this place is so small, I might be able to knock it out in a weekend- hey, you alright?’ You were snapped out of your thoughts as he leaned down a bit to look you in the eye, his ramblings about his new place coming to a halt when he noticed your expression. ‘You’ve been staring at the closet for about five minutes, I’m pretty sure there’s no monsters in it.’

You weakly laughed, stuck between being happy to see this side of him again and knowing that you wouldn’t be able to help with a single thing, it would just be him here, alone. ‘I’m alright, just thinking, I guess,’ you admitted as Gwen talked to the realtor in the kitchen, a space cleared off for more papers to be signed as they discussed ownership and payment. ‘Things are gunna be busy for me, for a while. Once the power and water get turned back on and you can move in I don’t think we’ll be able to see each other for a while.’

‘That’s okay, we can always see each other on Thursdays,’ he joked, but that only made this sting all the more as the darkness in the closet grew. ‘I really am thankful for all your help so far, but I’ll be alright while I do this; if fixing up an entire house will prove to them that I’m serious about wanting to see my kids more than a few times a year then I’ll do it, I used to be a bit of a handyman before I got my big, important office job, y’know.’ You laughed again, you didn’t doubt it after his emergency help when he backed up your sink and then had to fix it before the water spread to the living room.

‘I just wish I could help you, chores are always better with company, remember?’ you reminded him as you met his eye, and when he smiled and pulled you into a hug you felt Gwen’s eyes on you as you held him back.

‘I know, but if you’ve gotta work it can’t be helped, I can man a broom and mop on my own, just need to get a radio in here and maybe it’ll feel a little more lively.’

‘You can get spotify on your phone, then you won’t need to get a radio,’ you suggested, and when he pulled away he looked confused.

‘What’s that? I’ve heard Deni mention it before but I never figured it out, R- her mother was always better with technology,’ he frowned in confusion, and you laughed again before pulling out your phone and getting him to do the same.

Gwen dropped you both off less than an hour later, someone coming to the house within the week to get the power back on after the last storm knocked it out, and with no one living there no one had bothered to get it fixed again. The water had also been turned off as well as the heat just to save money, and as soon as it all was in working order again he was free to sweep out the master bedroom and move right in, the rest was up to him. You hadn’t been able to resist his request to go shopping with him for a new bed, he was always bad with those kinds of things and ended up regretting his choice as soon as he got home, so a second opinion was very much needed despite Gwen silently warning you not to.

‘I’d love to, the sooner that’s sorted the sooner you don’t have to sleep on the floor,’ you agreed, and you silently apologized to her as she let out a sigh. ‘You’re on your own with everything else though, and you’re not stealing my broom to clean up that mess, I’d much rather throw it out than let it back into my house.’

‘I’ll get two, one to keep and one to throw,’ he decided from the backseat, his phone out again as he started adding things to his cart despite not even being moved yet; he was ready to have the place livable so his kids could visit even before the hearing, and you didn’t have the heart to tell him it’d still have to be a while if Rita denied him visitation. It'd been so long already since you'd seen him so energetic, and it made you smile even though he'd have to do this next part alone; it'd be hard but he'd lived through that first month on his own, so he'd be able to do it again in his own space if he had the hope that it'd be full again urging him on, you knew he could.

You both waved goodbye as she drove away, and you couldn't help but join in his celebration as he ran out to grab dinner from his favourite place as well as some alcohol, neither of you had drank since he moved in after he hit the bottle too hard in that lonely hotel room. You had your own personal movie night as you finally got to show him the one you brought but had never gotten to watch, and sure enough he wasn't a fan of horror as he cowered almost dramatically on his end of the couch while you laughed and told him to watch the part coming up, it would be good, you promised.

You didn't get to bed until late again, you couldn't exactly sleep when he was sitting where your feet should be, but you knew you wouldn't be getting comfortable once the TV turned off and he shot you another nervous glance. He didn't even have to say it, he needed someone there more than ever with his upcoming lonely nights waiting for him, and this time you didn't kiss him as you both got into bed and fell asleep easier than you ever had before.

The house was ready for him sooner rather than later, the text that he was good to go actually arriving as you were out shopping for a bed. He was indecisive as hell, trying out every mattress to make sure it was good for his back, and even when he found one that was comfortable he tended to pass on it just in case something even better was on display. He was laying down on what felt like his millionth mattress when he got the text, his eyes opening wide as he sat up only to flinch as his back did indeed twinge.

‘The water’s on, why don't we go over now, start cleaning up?’ he suggested excitedly, and your smile fell as you thought about how you shouldn't even be doing this much.

‘I don't know, shouldn’t we stay and get a bed if you can move in asap?’ you tried to defer, and he gave the one he was on a little bounce before getting up.

‘I'll take this one, it can stay on the floor until I get a frame, let's hurry up and go!’ While you were glad to have this nightmare end, it only caused the second one to start as he flagged down an employee and got the price, a frame ending up catching his eye on the way now that his big dilemma was solved. He bought both and together with two employees you stuffed it all into his car, the mattress thankfully crammed into a box to his amazement and saving him a ton of space.

He also bought all the things he'd need to clean, his new broom and mop laying across the seat with a bag full of supplies and towels. You pretended to not feel the entire weight of them on your shoulders all the way to his new home, the spare keys already picked up from under the rock by the door and in his pocket before you could exit the car.

He threw open the door and rushed back to get the broom, you in charge of the mop by default as he began to sweep with all the enthusiasm of a cartoon princess, and it only made you fall harder until his actions caught up with him and he needed to sweep himself a small circle so he could sit down. You shook your head and took over for him, all the windows thrown up and the patio door open wide to air the place out until he was ready to help again, Lester now confined to cleaning off the counters while you handled the floor. The playlist you’d made on your phone followed you around as you did each room, his own playing even more favourites in the kitchen and then bathroom as he worked, his fight with spotify now rectified and used in his favour, music already filling the home as you tossed out bag after bag of garbage until it was time to mop.

He had the bucket already full for you when you went for it, the counters all cleaned and the bath/shower combo getting the attention it very much deserved next. It was a lot faster to wash the floors, and even though you knew they'd only get dirty again as the walls were patched up and painted eventually, it was still nice to stand in the living room and take everything in when you both were done. You dumped the dirty water down the drain and carried the bags to the road to be collected, Lester's single one joining yours when he was done scrubbing, and together you sat on the floor and decided if it'd be cheaper to patch everything up yourselves or hire someone to do it before he started moving his stuff in.

In the end he called someone out on the patio while you looked up weed wackers on your phone, the yard needing just as much attention; the pool would come last, it was already heading into fall after all so it'd just be covered up again before long, but it could at least be inspected and cleaned for next year once everything else was done. You ordered one for him so you could both fight over it versus the lawnmower when you found a way to bring it over, that was another expense that could wait til later, and you didn't realize you were smiling again until he walked back in and collapsed much too hard next to you.

‘He can come tomorrow, someone canceled on him today so we lucked out,’ he informed you as he rubbed his sore butt from the fall, and you almost didn't catch it until your brain replayed what he'd said.

‘You lucked out, you mean,’ you corrected, and he winced at you as he stretched his long legs out in front of him

‘What?’

‘You said we lucked out, but you did, I'm not the one who lives here,’ you repeated, and he laughed a little as he brushed his bangs out of his eyes, his forehead shining from the sweat he'd been working up the past few hours.

‘Oh yeah, I think I forgot that part,’ he chuckled softly, and the air changed a little as your forced humour turned to something just as soft. ‘You've been doing so much, I think I forgot… that you're not coming with me, when this is over, it just feels like you've always been here already.’ You couldn't speak, your heart pounding as he interpreted your expression as something negative. ‘Sorry, didn't mean to put you on the spot like that again-!’

‘No, you didn't, it’s just that… I just realized that I think I started moving in my stuff in my mind as I was cleaning,’ you admitted nervously, and he laughed a little more easily again as the summer breeze drifted in and filled the house with the smells of barbecues and fresh cut grass. ‘I mean, I don't need two couches all that much, you know I'm too busy to host movie nights, so if you wanted one you could have it…’

‘You sure? I really was looking forward to that sectional,’ he joked with a soft jab to your arm, which you returned with a blush.

‘I can always take it back when you find your dream couch, it'd give me an excuse to see how the place turned out.’

‘You won't visit before then?’

You found yourself lost for words, of course you'd visit when this was over and cleared up, but it was the way he'd said it, like he was worried it'd take a couch in order to get you back there. ‘Of course, you think I'm gunna miss out on your first movie night in your new place?’ you said as your voice clearly shook, but he didn't mention it as he laid back and stretched out his back over the hardwood.

‘Good, I'll make extra dip that night so you can bring some home, as thanks,’ he already planned ahead, his eyes closed and unable to see the way you let your face crumble at the thought of having to leave again after all of this.

‘Well if that doesn't give me more incentive to lend it to you.’ You stood up, brushing off your pants and cracking your back before offering your hand to him. ‘Alright, that's enough sitting around, might as well get that frame built before it gets too late.’

‘Empty house with just a bed, someone might think I'm squatting,’ he snickered as you helped him stand, and when his torso hit your chest you didn't back away immediately.

‘Nonsense, there's some towels in the bathroom too,’ you said with a wink as you headed for the car, the two of you managing to haul the frame in yourself thanks to some determination and spare cardboard underneath the end dragging on the ground so his floors wouldn't get scratched.

You didn't get home until late, even more takeout bought just because you were too tired and achy to stand around and cook, absolutely not. He wasn't that happy about all the unhealthy eating he'd been doing lately so he ended up ordering a small vegetarian pizza while you secretly planned ahead and ordered a large deluxe with some chicken wings, his favourite sauce also picked out when he wasn't looking. The smell filled the car all the way home, and sure enough he didn't last long with the vegetarian when he caught sight of the deluxe taking up half the coffee table.

‘You're terrible, you know I'm trying to eat better,’ he grumbled as he reached for a slice, and you swatted at his hand before grabbing a second for yourself.

‘This is my dinner for the next three days, if you wanted this you should've asked for one,’ you said nonchalantly as you took a big, dramatic bite, Lester eyeing it before you could only take pity on him and move the box a little closer. He split his pizza with you as he picked off the toppings he didn't like to create the perfect combo of both, and you pretended you absolutely didn't grab his favorite sauce on purpose when he also gave in and stole some wings.

You could get used to this, you really could as he moved to your couch to be closer to the pizza; he was closer to you than usual, even more than normal couch sharing standards, and you tried to keep your eyes on the screen as you reached for another slice. Your hand hit his as he grabbed another wing, both foods dropped as you apologized and looked at each other, but when his gaze lingered longer than usual, just like the closing space between you, you found yourself doing anything but looking away from his mouth. He was smiling at you, that kind, gentle smile you'd fallen in love with at Walkers all those months ago, and even though you knew he didn't need this, knew that this would only make things worse, you couldn't stop yourself when he closed his eyes and waited.

You jumped when your phone suddenly buzzed, Lester sitting back and putting some space between you again when you saw that it was Gwen on the caller ID. ‘I'm sorry, I gotta take this,’ you mumbled as he cleared his throat and went back to eating, your face hot and your frown deep as you locked yourself in your bedroom. ‘Hey, sorry, we're watching a movie,’ you said the moment she picked up, but she didn't seem to catch your tone when the sound of shuffling came through the speaker.

‘That's fine, how's the house coming?’

‘It's all ready for him, w- he got it cleaned up today.’

‘...Were you there with him?’ She asked like she already knew, and you couldn't lie to her when the stakes were so high.

‘We were already in town to shop for a bed, we decided to go after he found one, get started on the cleanup right away,’ you explained, and her sigh was all the answer you needed. ‘I know, but you saw the place, it would've taken him forever to-’

‘That's not your concern, not right now. When is he moving in?’ she interrupted, and you looked at the closed door as the movie continued on the other side.

‘Soon, the fridge is busted and he needs a dresser along with food, we can d-’

‘He can do that, no more shopping together, no getting groceries together, tell him no the next time he asks. Now that we know it's you who's to say someone won't be able to stand up there and say they saw you arrive and leave together, while acting like a couple the entire time upon further reflection? You're smart, please don't make another stupid mistake like this again, for his sake.’ She fell silent as she let the words sink in, and you looked at his suitcases, left open while his clothes were stacked on your dresser to be a little neater, how he'd need to pack them up again within the week at this rate.

‘I won't, I'll tell him I have a case coming up so I'll be scarce, he'll be able to do the rest over the weekend,’ you decided solemnly, and she agreed with that before changing the subject.

‘I've been told that the hearing has been scheduled for two weeks from now, when the children are back in school, Rita apparently requested that they not be present, and yes, before you say anything, it'll probably be because they'll not only vouch for him, but also because they don't need to see their parents arguing to that degree,’ she sighed heavily, and you quickly entered the date into your phone before you realized that you would only be there as a witness, you had two weeks to tell him the truth before he found it out from her unless you preferred to lie to his face some more about your feelings.

‘I'll let him know, and he'll be moved by next week, he'll want to be at the thought of them visiting.’ She liked the sound of that and hung up, and you banged your forehead dully off the door before opening it up and finding him on the other side.

‘Sorry, you were taking so long, I wanted to make sure everything was okay,’ he said, and he either didn't hear the bump or was choosing to ignore it even though your forehead slightly throbbed.

‘That was Gwen, actually, the hearing is in two weeks, while Deni and Shaun should be in school,’ you informed him, and his smile grew so wide it made your heart break.

‘So we'll be able to get custody then?’ he asked excitedly, and you shook your head and took in a deep breath.

‘It all depends on how things turn out, if the judge is split then another one might be needed now that we know she might use your anger in her favour even though she was the one to hit you,’ you continued, and just the thought of this not working out was enough to bring him down again. ‘I know it seems bleak, but Les, I know that-’

‘What did you call me?’

‘Did I c-?’

‘Les, you said Les, don't call me that,’ he suddenly said as he stood to his full height, and you flubbed your apology enough times to make him sink down again. ‘Sorry, that's what Rita used to call me, I don't want to hear that name from you,’ he muttered, and before you could say anything else he headed back for the door. ‘I've got work tomorrow, I'll take the couch tonight, I'm too tired to drive all the way home.’

‘You'd leave just for that?’ you blurted out, your body moving on its own to block the doorway before you even knew what you were doing; he didn’t push you aside or get angry, but he did walk past until you had no choice but to let him through, your dinner forgotten on the table as you shut the door again the moment he sat down without saying anything more.

You kept your distance from each other the next day, him by leaving for work early, and then you by staying at work late. You left him a text saying you had your own big case coming up just as planned, but for once he didn’t reply other than to say he would be shopping so it’d be best if you found your own dinner. You ate at your desk as the sun set outside, nothing but old work you needed to sort through and properly file away on your docket as you nibbled away at cold pizza.

Once it hit the AMs you figured it was safe to go home, no matter where he slept you’d be able to avoid him if need be now that there was something off between you, and if you didn’t lay down somewhere and fast you were bound to either sleep at your desk or in your car. The drive home felt like an eternity but finally you made it, the house quiet and telling you that he was indeed asleep. You opened the door as quietly as you could, all the lights off as you traversed the long trek to your couch when you didn’t see him on it; you were about to lay down when you saw the paper on the coffee table, the words completely unintelligible in the dim light. You held it up to your face until it came into focus, your eyes taking it in several times before you dropped it and rushed to your bedroom.

You threw open the door to find the room empty, his suitcases packed and your bed made, no Lester in sight. You went back to the note and read it again with the lights on, your face contorting in misery as you sank into the cushions. It said that he’d grabbed the last of his needed furniture that trip, so there was no need for him to steal your bed or couch for another night. He thanked you for your help, and he’d pay you back for everything else at the end of the month, and there was no goodbye, just his name at the bottom. You woke up your phone to see if he’d left you any texts or voicemails but there was nothing, he’d gone shopping and then that was it.

This was for the best, you were never meant to go with him and he was never meant to stay, now he could focus on his family again without you there to distract him. You’d helped as much as he could and now he could take care of the rest by himself, he was a grown man, he needed you as a friend, not a roommate, not a partner, definitely not as a lover, everything could move forward again now.

‘At least I can come home tomorrow,’ you figured aloud as you turned the light back off, your shoes and coat left in the middle of the living room as you shed each. ‘I can make my own dinners again, sleep in my own bed, everything is back to normal.’ You shut your bedroom door and locked it, no need to keep it open when there was no one to walk in, your bed looking a little too made as you yanked the comforter free and sent the pillows flying. ‘No more suitcases on my floor that’ll make me trip in the middle of the night, and no more ties getting stuck in my dryer because he doesn’t know how to do fucking laundry.’

You picked up your pillows and threw them back into place, your face betraying you as you attempted to force a smile and only ended up accelerating the misery. You angrily wiped at your eyes before climbing into bed, your position changing from your left side as you faced the empty space beside you, to your right where you wouldn’t eventually feel his arm wrap around your waist, to your back as you stared up at the ceiling. You blinked and more tears fell but you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he did this to you after everything you’d done for him, your hands wet as you repeatedly tried to dry your eyes.

‘Couldn’t even say goodbye to me before you left, you bastard,’ you swore to the ceiling, the space beside you feeling bigger and bigger until you felt encompassed by it. ‘You said I was the only one who didn’t leave you, why’d you throw me away, wh- no. He’s the one who left, and he didn’t even leave, he went home. That was never here, I knew this was coming, I knew…’ Your words echoed off the walls above you, reminding you even more that you were alone, and that across town he was feeling the same, and would feel the same until he was able to have his custody confirmed.

This wasn't about you, or what you’d done for him, or your feelings. This was about him, his marriage ending, and his upcoming battle for his children. That’s what it’d always been about, you’d just forgotten between him admitting that he’d almost wanted you to move in with him and you nearly kissing him again on the couch.

You rolled onto your stomach and shut your eyes tight as you tried not to remember it, that had to have been why he’d left, you’d told him you had no feelings for him and yet you’d still leaned in of your own volition that second time. He’d seen right through you, and then you’d proceeded to call him by the nickname his wife used, how many more ways could you have fucked this up? You didn’t scream into your pillow, you were too old for that now, but you might’ve raised your voice into it a little as you curled up and felt just how cold the bed was without him.

You changed your grocery day to Monday so there was no chance of running into him again, you needed to give him space after such a big mistake, but you knew you couldn’t keep it up as soon as you stepped foot into the store and knew that he wouldn’t be waiting for you both inside and at home. You promptly walked back out and found another, their stock not as good and their prices a bit higher, but this would have to become your new regular. It was at least a bit closer to home, and still very far from his house, so even if he had the same idea there’d still be no risk of him finding you here on a Monday.

You missed your Caramel Pecan as you unpacked your food, this place not having its own dessert counter since it focused mainly on brands, nothing fresh made in-store, and you definitely felt the dent in your wallet as you found yourself with barely enough to restock after the missed week of not wanting to see him again and just not getting yourself any new food. You wondered if maybe you might need to cut back to two or less trips a month with this new place, honestly you’d only started going every week in order to see him in the first place, he’d always gone through food faster since he was buying for four, maybe this would be less painful on your finances going forward.

This really would be for the best to get back to normal you decided as you made yourself something for dinner, and when you sat down in front of the TV to enjoy it you ignored all the commercials about back to school sales.

You were at work when you got the reminder for the hearing, it going off in the middle of a meeting and forcing you to remember that you’d completely forgotten to silence your phone before entering the room. Your expression went from embarrassment to concerned sadness at the popup, your boss asking if you were done as you just stared at your screen.

‘Uh, yeah, sorry about that,’ you apologized as you turned it off and got back to listening, your hand on your pocket for the entire rest of the meeting.

As soon as it was done you headed for the privacy of your office and shut the door, Gwen already dialed the moment it clicked into place. She didn’t pick up right away, she was probably busy, but the moment she did she was quick to tell you it wasn't a good time.

‘I don’t care, I need to be there tomorrow,’ you said as fast as you could, your knees giving out at the realization that you’d actually planned on saying you wouldn’t come, that you couldn’t, that you’d just be a liability. The words had fallen from you faster than you could think, and you put her on speaker and collapsed into your chair when you nearly dropped your phone. ‘I tried, I really did, but I need to know how this ends.’

‘I really can’t talk about this right now-’

‘But I need to! I’ve been trying not to think about it, just get back to normal, but every time I imagine him out there in front of everyone I just- he said everyone else left, I don’t want him to be alone tomorrow, I can’t do that to him, Gwen, I just can’t.’ Your face fell into your hand, your shoulders hunched as you gripped your chair and tried not to let everyone see outside your door how much this one person and his troubles were affecting you, and she sighed before speaking again.

‘And if tomorrow ends up like we discussed?’

‘Then I’ll deal with that too, with or without him.’ You heard another sigh, but even if she were to have you banned from the building somehow you knew you’d find your way into this, no matter if Rita had you called up there as her main proof or not.

‘Fine, I’m not your mother, but be prepared for anything,’ she warned before hanging up, she really didn’t have time for more, and you didn’t call back again as you gave yourself a minute to just breathe. She was right, you really needed to be prepared, and you were; as a lawyer you always went to the worst possible solution and planned ahead to avoid that, and that had treated you well in both your career and life until you’d met him. Before then, you never would’ve stayed the moment Rita gave you that look. You wouldn’t have gone back for movie night, and you certainly wouldn’t have invited him over.

But there was something about him that kept disarming you, that brought your guard down and made you believe that nothing bad would happen if you just went with his flow, and now look where you’d made him end up. You wouldn’t do that tomorrow, in fact you’d be the most You you’d been in months for him in order to make sure this went as smoothly as possible. You wouldn’t react with or to him at all, or anything concerning him as you sat on his side of the court. You wouldn’t speak out of turn no matter what she said, and you definitely wouldn’t speak to him.

And if they did indeed find it necessary to call in witnesses to prove their statements, then you would swallow down your feelings as deep as they would go and prove to everyone that you really were just his friend and that she was wrong, because that was the truth.

You couldn’t concentrate after that, needing to call in early to head home and prepare, and you spent the entire rest of the day picking out your outfit for tomorrow, setting way too many alarms, and preparing a king’s feast of food to bring to his house no matter the outcome; you knew it wouldn’t help, but if it went in her favour then you knew he’d spiral again, lose all hope for the future, and you would not let him do that alone. You packed it all into a bunch of tupperware you rarely used outside of work lunches and stuffed it into the fridge, and by the time that, a change of outfit just in case, and a shower were finally over you ended up tired and ready for bed.

You set one more alarm and placed your phone on your nightstand before attempting to sleep, your eyelids heavy but refusing to stay closed as you went over everything a hundred more times. Your mind was fully racing in the dark and quiet when your phone buzzed and lit you up, and you considered ignoring it before accepting that maybe a little eye strain might work in your favour. You grabbed it and tapped the screen to check the notification, all the tired leaving your body when you saw what was waiting for you.

Lester Billings says: I miss you

You swallowed as you rolled onto your stomach, your phone taking up your pillow as you propped yourself up on your elbows. ‘It’s been lonely here, I won’t lie,’ you said aloud as you typed, and you almost deleted it before pressing send. Three dots bounced at the bottom of the message as he typed back, your back aching from the angle but you refused to move as the next words popped up.

I haven’t been able to sleep since I got here This mattress isn’t very comfortable

You let out a small laugh, your eyes already starting to cloud as you rested your chin on the end of the pillow before your hands. ‘I knew you picked too soon, you should’ve tried out more.’

I should’ve gotten your opinion Your bed is comfier

You shut your eyes tight and buried your face in the pillow a moment, another ping making you look up again when the pillow started to wetten.

Will you be there tomorrow

‘Yes,’ you answered immediately, your back still aching as you readjusted and typed as fast as you could, ‘if you want me to be, I wasn't sure after you left so suddenly.’ You sent it before you could even think to type something else, your eyes widening in fear at this confession, and when more dots bounced you closed your eyes so you wouldn’t see his answer. Your phone buzzed but you waited for as long as you could before opening them again, a small noise leaving you as you read.

I thought you wanted me to go

‘What? No,’ you told your phone, and you sat up to call him only for him to decline it. ‘I never wanted you to go, I’m sorry if I rushed you,’ you hurriedly sent, and there was a bit of a pause before his next reply.

You told Gwen you’d lie to me Said I’d be out by the end of the week I thought you didn’t want me there

You tried again to call him but he again declined, and you were in the middle of typing out the explanation when he messaged you again first.

I can’t sleep I want to see you Can you come over Yes.

You didn’t even change out of your pajamas as you kicked off the blankets and hurried for the door, your car started by the time you slipped into the one pair of sandals that you owned but never wore. You almost forgot to lock up you were in such a hurry, the streets thankfully almost empty as you fought not to speed to him. The lights were all off and his car was in the driveway, the yard now cleaned up while he was there since you guessed he also needed the distraction. Your hand was raised to knock when the door opened, and there he stood, in pajama pants and an undershirt, his hair a mess and bags under his eyes as he looked down at you.

‘Lester, I-’ you began before he pulled you into a tight hug, and you had no one to hide from as you nuzzled into his shoulder and held him just as tightly back. He led you inside, the door locked behind you, you weren’t going home, and you tossed your keys onto the kitchen counter just out of reach before following him to the bedroom. He’d bought himself a dresser in your absence, all of his clothes tucked neatly inside so his suitcases could finally be retired, and his bed looked big and lonely and not as comfortable as it did when you’d helped him set it up.

‘It’s not as comfortable as yours,’ he repeated quietly, his first words to you since he’d slept on your couch that final time, and you grabbed his hand and gently pulled him towards it.

‘Let me get that second opinion, then,’ you whispered, and when you kneeled onto the mattress you sank right down. You laid to his right, the two of you on your backs with space between as you stared at the ceiling, the comforter trapper underneath you but also unneeded in the summer heat, his AC must also not be working that well. You noticed he had his window open to let in the breeze, and you breathed deep when the wind blew the curtains open a little more. ‘It’s not that bad,’ you finally decided, and he turned to look at you before rolling onto his side.

‘Why did you want me to go?’ he asked without wasting another second, and you shut your eyes before rolling to face him.

‘I never did, it was Gwen, she was worried someone might think that I- that we…’

‘That you were the one Rita was worried about, I get it,’ he realized, but he didn’t look very relieved. ‘I had a feeling, but I wish you’d have told me, I really thought that you were… leaving me too.’

‘I was supposed to keep my distance from you, that was her legal advice, for me to not be seen with you and make anyone think we were together,’ you admitted now that you could, and again he looked like he understood but that that didn’t help it hurt any less. ‘But hanging out with you, going shopping and then cleaning this place up, I didn’t know how to stay away, and I knew if I couldn’t pull this off then it’d only hurt you in the end.’

‘To tell you the truth, I’d have rather been kicked out for that than spend the past two weeks thinking no one wanted me in their life anymore.’ His voice was low, and he was mostly in shadow, but you could still see him crying as he closed his eyes, and when you touched his cheek to wipe the tears away he held your hand in place. ‘I haven’t been alone since Rita and I moved in together, and even before then I always had my family or my roommates; I don’t know how to do this on my own…’

‘You’re not, I’m here, I’ll always be here, because that’s what friends are for,’ you murmured as you brushed your thumb over his cheek to collect the next tear before it hit his nose, and he choked out a small laugh before holding you hand to his chest.

‘I love you,’ he told you then, and you were just about to say it back when he continued. ‘You might be the best friend I’ve ever had, maybe even better than Rita was to me, I’m so glad I met you.’

‘Y-yeah, I’m glad too.’ You were never supposed to be in this part of his life. You were the reason this was happening. He would never feel the same. ‘Do you think you’re ready to get some sleep, now? Big day tomorrow, after all.’

‘I can try, now that you’re here,’ he smiled before getting up to pull the comforter free, and you masked your pain with a smile of your own as you laid back against his chest, his arm around your waist and his soft snores telling you it’d worked again not too long after. You wiped away your tears before placing your hand over his, the cicadas crying outside for you as you also drifted off with the breeze.

Your many alarms came in handy, the first failing to wake either of you in your exhaustion. It was the third that worked since they were so close together, this one making you crack open an eye to check the time instead of just to find the device and shut it up. Your heart raced as the adrenaline woke you fully, and his arm was still around you as you tried to sit and get him up. Seeing him there, still sleeping so peacefully gave you pause however, you’d really missed this sight, but it wasn't yours to keep, he’d sleep better when his kids were able to visit, this was the last time.

You swallowed it down and gave him a shake, Lester startling awake and blinking around in confusion, but when he saw you there, looking down at him with the sunlight streaming in and the wind pushing aside the curtains to cool the room a little more, he actually looked like he…

He didn’t, he couldn’t, he’d said so already, and you held up your phone so he could see the time. ‘I’ve gotta head back and get ready, today’s the day,’ you whispered as his loving smile faded, and it was replaced with a serious expression as he nodded and sprung into action. He also had his outfit prepared, one of his nicer suits for work, the one he’d been wearing when you first met him you realized as he held it up and transferred it from his closet to the end of his bed while he picked out a tie.

‘You should’ve brought your clothes, we could’ve gone in together,’ he said as he looked between the red and the blue patterned ties he was torn between, and you froze as you straightened your shirt before another smile was forced.

‘I’m supposed to not add any fuel to the fire, that would’ve set everything ablaze,’ you chuckled a bit sadly, and he gave you a small look before holding the red up to his chest to look at in his dresser mirror.

‘I don’t care anymore, she can think what she wants, I don’t see her standing here with me. Which one do you like better? I can’t decide and I’ll end up without one if you leave.’ He held both up for you to see, and you decided on the blue after imagining it along with his suit. ‘Thank you, I was thinking the same but I wasn't sure.’

He set it down with his suit and moved onto some socks and other things to pull on after his shower, so you took that as your cue to leave as you slipped past him and headed for the door. Now that it was bright out you could see that he’d really only gotten the dresser and a new fridge, the old stove still in place and everything else unnecessary and just cutting into his finances for now, and you couldn’t help but think that your second couch would fit perfectly in the space against the wall leading to the bedrooms. You located your keys and stepped back into your sandals before opening the door to leave, and you were just about to walk through the threshold when his hands found you again.

They both slipped around your waist, holding you in place and keeping you there with him for just a moment longer, and you spun in his arms in order to hug him back when he surprised you with a kiss to your forehead. It was the first kiss he’d initiated, a show of thanks for coming over and clearing the air, and while it was still platonic as needed it made you wish you could have more all the same, your hands finding his chest, then his shoulders before you pulled him into his hug.

‘I’ll see you there, I wouldn’t miss this for the world,’ you whispered against his chest, and his right hand found the back of your neck before he let you go.

‘See you there,’ he repeated back to you, and then you were leaving, the shape of him on the other side of the glass blurry as he watched you go until your car was pulling out of his driveway.

You hurried home, no time to waste this morning, and you left your car idle and unlocked as you ran inside and had the quickest shower known to man. You got dressed even faster, you didn’t need to be there for hours but you couldn’t stay in your home knowing this was coming, the plan to have some breakfast and coffee at the shop just down the street from the courthouse. You went to check your phone to see if Gwen had said anything when you remembered you’d left it in your car, and you were thankful you lived where you did as it hit you that you almost handed your entire car to potential thieves.

It wouldn’t have mattered, you’d have found a way over regardless, and you hopped back into the seat and headed over for that breakfast before your body decided that you were much too nervous to eat. Parking was thankfully available despite the location thanks to the early hour, and you tossed a bunch of change into the meter before walking in and finding yourself a seat by the window. It was a quaint little place, you knew of it but had never been in before, and it was decently busy with what had to be its regulars as they all chatted and filled the room with light conversation.

‘Can I start you off with a coffee this morning?’ a young man in his what had to be his late 20s asked not too long after you sat down, and you stared at the menu he offered before taking it and ordering your usual blend. ‘We’re doing a special today, couples get their second breakfast half off if there’s anyone else joining you today?’

‘No, I’m not waiting for anyone, thank you,’ you murmured even as you glanced out the window like you were, just to watch for when he’d arrive, and your server nodded and didn’t even miss a beat.

‘Guess I don’t need to tell you that groups get their own discount, then,’ he attempted to joke, and you glanced up at him and his sweet grin that relaxed you enough to smile genuinely back.

‘No, I guess you don’t,’ you answered before finally going to the menu, and you ordered yourself a light breakfast to ease your hungry but also very worried stomach while you waited. He wrote it down, took the menu back, and headed for the kitchen to drop it off, your eyes catching sight of his haircut pulled back into a small ponytail before he disappeared from sight. You went back to your window as you waited for your coffee, and it’d just been placed in front of you when the bell above the door jingled and alerted him to the new person he’d have to talk to.

To your surprise they sat down across from you, and you looked up to see that it was Rita. Your entire body tensed as you failed not to glare, and he looked between the two of you before asking if you knew each other.

‘Not particularly,’ you said through gritted teeth, but she wasn't fazed by your new anger as she just ordered a mint tea and black coffee to go along with two bagels, one raisin with butter and one everything with cream cheese, obvious breakfast for her and whoever she hired to take Lester’s kids from him. You wished you could secretly tell your server to spit in her tea before you calmed and collected yourself, you were an adult, not a child as he walked away to grab everything for her, and she remained across from you as she folded her hands over the table.

‘I assume I don’t need to ask why you’re so close to the courthouse this morning,’ she remarked as she also looked out the window, and you shook your head slowly as you continued your fight to not add more fuel to the fire. ‘Is he meeting you here?’

‘No, I came in to have breakfast alone,’ you replied levelly, you wouldn’t give in to her provoking now that you both knew what she thought of you.

‘No time to do it at home?’ She was probing you to make you slip, probably to bring this back to her lawyer as just a little extra last minute kindling, and you shook your head and sipped at your coffee. ‘I heard he was able to find a place already, does he really think that I’ll let him see our children after this?’ Stay calm, you still had yet to confirm anything about her theories, just ignore her. ‘Because I won’t, not after what he did. I brought a picture of our wall to show the judge today, if such a sweet man can do that to the wall then how long will it be before he’s hurting my children?’

‘Tha-’ You cut yourself off so fast you nearly spilt your coffee, your hands grasped so hard around the cup that it was burning your palms, and you didn’t miss her expression as she smugly got out her buzzing phone.

‘Right on time,’ she said as she stood, your server waiting for her at the counter as he popped the lids onto her drinks. ‘I’ll see you inside, I’m sure the judge will be thrilled that you didn’t hide from this.’

‘I’m not hiding from anything,’ you snapped before you could stop, your eyes only on her as she stopped and looked back at you.

‘Good, that’ll make things so much easier.’

You didn’t look at her as she picked up her food and walked out, your burning hands pressed to the cold wood to cool them down as you glared at your cup, your shoulders so tense that the pain traveling up your neck was about to give you a headache. You didn’t move apart from finding new cold places on the table until your breakfast arrived, but you felt even less hungry than before despite your server’s wishes to enjoy. It took you until your eggs had stopped steaming before you attempted to eat, but every thought went back to her and how she was probably telling her lawyer all about your eventual appearance before them all.

As such you ate slow, the time ticking away as the roads filled out and the sun rose higher; people flooded the streets and avoided your gaze as you searched for a familiar navy car, and the only thing that made you snap out of your search was your phone reminding you that your meter was about to run out. ‘Shit, I’ll be right back, need to put more money in,’ you told your server as he went to pass, and you left your phone on the table as collateral after pointing out your car through the window. You raced out, barely avoiding two old ladies currently walking by, and fished for more change when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

‘Looks like we’re early,’ Lester said behind you, and when you turned you saw Gwen beside him, her face very stern at the fact that he was already standing too close to you. ‘You just finish?’

‘I’ve still got half a plate, just needed to refill this,’ you let him know as you loaded up the meter as high as it would go, and he smiled warmly at you as you led him inside. Your server looked between you all and you asked for two more menus after thanking him for his patience, and just as you made room for him to sit beside you you found Gwen sliding into the space instead. He sat across from you, right where Rita had been not an hour earlier, and he looked nervous but also calm as he opened the menu and started choosing. ‘Looks like you can give us that breakfast talk now,’ you joked at your server, and he readied his notepad as he recalled the deal.

‘Since you haven’t paid yet I’ll count this as a group, but since families and friends have been stopping in together leading up to the start of school we have a deal going on, groups of three and up get a 20% discount off their total, and a 30% discount if you order the Back to School Special,’ he explained, Gwen clearly not listening but Lester paying attention fully as he set the menu down.

‘What’s that?’

‘It used to just be for kids, but everyone started ordering it, so- excuse me, it includes three meats, three eggs, home fries, toast, and a free glass of juice or milk, everything a growing kid needs before a busy day at school,’ he told him, and Lester smiled wide and asked for just that, his drink of choice orange juice since lactose tended to upset him in large amounts and he was feeling sick enough already. It was too much information and it made you smile fondly as your server let out a laugh he then quickly stifled as he took his menu back.

‘I’ll just have the coffee and brown sugar oatmeal, thanks,’ Gwen said as she handed her own menu back, the folder she’d been holding now open and taking up the available space the moment he left you. ‘I figured out who her lawyer is when we parked, I’d know that car anywhere, belongs to a scrappy kid who’s been known to hire people to help him get dirt on his opposition,’ she told you as she flipped to a page he needed to fill out while they had time, one final thing to prove that he had a suitable house and a steady income now that both things were true.

‘Should we be worried about him then?’ you asked as he signed, and she bit her thumbnail as she frowned at the table, the most emotion she’d shown over this case other than the realization that you were the assumed lover.

‘I’m not sure, you haven’t spent any more time together lately, have you?’ she hissed under her breath, and you pictured yourself going to his house but recalling that no one had been around thankfully.

‘No, not since he moved,’ you lied, and she nodded to herself as he finished up and slid the folder back over.

‘All she has is speculation, so focusing on proving that you deserve joint custody is all that matters today,’ she decided, and Lester breathed a little unsteadily before his breakfast arrived. He thanked your server and dug right in, his nerves making him eat faster than he should’ve as you’d come to expect, and you went to reach for his hand to make him aware that he should slow down when you felt Gwen nudge your foot. She did so instead, and he drank half his orange juice to wash it all down, the glass thankfully not kid-sized as he went back to eating. ‘It’ll be okay, let’s just focus on saving this marriage and getting your kids back right now.’

‘Oh, I don’t want to save this marriage,’ he suddenly said around a mouthful of overly jammed toast, and your head shot up so fast in hope that your already stiff neck ached in protest. ‘No, I thought I did at first, but she can have her divorce, I just want my kids back, that’s all that matters to me now.’

You ignored the nudge this time as you held his hand, proud of him for being able to let go of such a long relationship now that it’d turned to this, he was aware that what they had was gone and that it would be different if they tried to reconnect. You gave him a reassuring smile that it’d be okay going forward now, he didn’t have to try and mend what she’d broken, and he returned it before the actual kick to your leg made you let go. He went back to eating, his pace normal and not bound to make him sick now, and you knew you couldn’t let him hear what you needed to tell the woman beside you.

You got out your phone and quickly typed out a message to her, her phone pinging and making her grab it from her purse until she saw it was from you. She frowned but opened it all the same just to see that you’d said Rita talked to you, and you both knew you couldn’t ditch him to talk this time, not this close to the courthouse. She tapped back a quick reply which you answered just as fast, the two of you secretly typing under the table as he ate and watched the people go by, completely unaware of the reason why Gwen then sighed into her oatmeal.

She put away her phone, she wasn't too worried since his kids were his main priority, and quickly finished up her meager breakfast as a clock nearby chimed loudly. ‘We need to head over soon, it’s almost time,’ she reminded you both as you cleared your plates, and as soon as the bill was settled between the three of you you all headed out for the courthouse.

‘Oh wait, lemme fill the meter more, just in case,’ you said when you realized you didn’t know how long this would take since there was a lot to go over, and you let them go on ahead to Gwen’s preference as you fished for more coins to replace the time you’d spent inside.

‘Got some change to spare?’ someone asked as you found a quarter, and you frowned when you turned to see an unfamiliar face to this area approach you with an outstretched hand.

‘Yeah, uh, just let me do this first,’ you answered warily before filling the meter back up, a $5 bill added to your hand of remaining change so the man could get something to eat.

‘Thanks, you’re the first person all morning who’s given me the time of day,’ he told you almost sleazily as he counted the change, his eye on the seat you’d just vacated through the window as your server cleared your plates. ‘Heard this place is good, you just come from breakfast?’

‘Yeah, the coffee is cheap, so that should be good for a cup and something to eat,’ you replied, ready to walk away when he carefully sidestepped into your path.

‘That’s what I heard, yeah, anything you can suggest?’

‘I have somewhere I need to be, if you’ll excuse me,’ you tried to say without provoking him, everyone else giving you a wide berth as he stood in front of you again, and your eyes narrowed as you looked him over and realized he was dressed a little too well to be homeless.

‘Oh, of course, I was just wondering if you knew that guy you were with was a cheater, doesn’t make for a very good breakfast date.’

You froze as he grinned at you, your phone coming out to quickly text Gwen as he pocketed your change and crossed his arms. ‘I’m sorry, what did you say your name was?’ you asked as you typed, and he glanced at it before smiling for the camera in case you were taking a picture or video of him, he’d done this before.

‘You can call me Harley, you checking with that hot lawyer friend of yours to make sure I won’t be trouble?’ he asked as he tried to see your phone, and you held it to your chest seconds before her voice rang out. He heard her and spun to see her running back over, Lester waiting on the steps of the courthouse for you, and Harley grinned at you again before finally getting out of your way and heading down the street into a large crowd. He was gone instantly, Gwen out of breath as she arrived and made sure everything was okay.

‘I’m fine, but I think that might’ve been her lawyer,’ you figured as you turned back to see only strangers.

‘No, that wasn't him, but he might’ve been the guy he hired this time to follow Lester, have you seen him before?’

‘No, never, this was the first,’ you thought as you desperately searched your mind for any sign of him, but there was nothing, even though something about him felt so strangely familiar that you couldn’t place no matter how hard you tried.

‘C’mon, it’s starting in ten, we need to get in there,’ she said as she placed a hand on your back, and you crossed the street to where he was waiting nervously.

‘What happened?’ he asked as soon as you reached him, and you made sure to keep some space between you as you fixed yourself up a little.

‘Some creep asked me for change, nothing to worry about,’ you lied, and you let them go in first several minutes before you entered the building. You’d been in there many times before for your own cases, you knew the exact way to go as you headed for the main court where this would be held, and sure enough there was no one on his side while a few of their friends as well as Rita’s parents sat on her side with her, baby Annie currently sleeping in her grandmother’s lap. You tried to avoid the front row but you couldn’t, not when all of them stared you down in disgust, they all believed her claims since you were new, and you ignored them as you broke your first rule and sat directly behind him and Gwen as she prepared her opening statement.

In order to not glare very unprofessional daggers at the people who’d once claimed to be his friends, you instead finally got a look at her lawyer, and you outwardly groaned so loud that he heard it; he turned to find the source, his grin very wide and blue eyes very wild as he whispered something to Rita that you couldn’t hear. She didn’t turn, but she did smile as she looked over the papers in front of her, and you leaned forward with a quick and quiet whistle to get Gwen’s attention.

‘Why didn’t you tell me she hired Matt?’ you hissed between your teeth, and she looked at you in surprise.

‘You know him?’

‘Yeah, the prick’s been vying for a promotion for years and stole so many cases from me and many others to try and get it, the guy’s an asshole,’ you sneered a little too loud, and you heard him snicker from his table across the way.

‘All the more reason you stay as uninvolved as possible going forward, don’t bring work into this,’ she warned very seriously, and you nodded as you sat back against the unforgiving bench. It wasn't too long after when the judge walked in, and you, Gwen, and Matt all rose before everyone else on instinct. You liked this judge, she was around your age and very beautiful, but she had a temper like fire when unfairness was found, and you knew if Matt tried anything she’d be fast to shut it down. You smirked at him as everyone sat again, she’d see through all of this and clearly favour Lester after all, you had nothing to worry about as you sat back and relaxed for the first time in weeks.

‘Good morning, Judge Burkhardt,’ Gwen said as she stood again after a moment, the hearing officially started as she addressed the woman sitting above you all. ‘I’m here today on behalf of my client, Lester Billings, who wishes to contend his ex-wife’s claim of full custody.’

‘I was under the impression we’d also be discussing his previous concerns about the separation, as well,’ the Judge wondered as she went over her own notes, Gwen shaking her head and presenting her with a copy of everything she’d been collecting the past few weeks.

‘That’s no longer a concern, what he does care about is the very real possibility of losing the ability to see his children,’ she clarified as she went back to her seat, Rita whispering something to Matt before frowning at Lester.

‘I’ve got it, I’ll handle it,’ you heard him whisper back to her, and you felt your moment of relaxation start to fade at the tone of his voice.

‘If that’s what he wishes, please proceed.’

‘Thank you, now, before Ms. Rothschild can tell you her reasons for this, let me explain to you the situation from my client’s end, before bias and misunderstandings come into play; what brought this about was a horrible lack of trust between two people who’ve been together for a very long time, and who knew each other for even longer. Where there should’ve been love, jealousy arose. When there should’ve been understanding, stubbornness had taken its place. And when it was time to listen, to believe what my client was saying, there was only refusal, leading to an argument that could’ve been very much avoided.’ Gwen looked to Lester for this final part, and he covered his eyes with his hands as the guilt resurfaced once more.

You wanted so badly to go to him again but you couldn’t, the partition separating you from him feeling more like a sprawling chasm in order to stop the Judge from believing what Matt was bound to say next. So you remained seated, your hands clasped tightly in your lap as the Judge listened and read over everything Gwen had collected about that night.

‘Mistakes were made on both ends, but he doesn’t deserve to be punished with such severity, not when he loves his children this much. This is a man who can’t live without the love of his family, and if that’s taken away from him, then I fear that it’ll affect not only them as they grow up without their father, even if Ms. Rothschild does decide to remarry in the future, but also Mr. Billings as well. Thank you.’ She went back to her seat, Lester’s eyes sad but his smile thankful for what she was doing for him, and she stopped him from looking back at you as Matt loudly cleared his throat and took his turn.

‘What my client is here today to achieve is not just the separation of two people whose relationship has fallen by the wayside, but to terminate an agreement that was so blatantly broken. To allow someone who would disregard the feelings of others to that degree, and then proceed to take his anger out on her when called out on it, would be a serious risk to the children as the younger ones grow and develop.’ You grabbed onto the bench and dug your nails into the wood until it hurt as Matt strolled casually in front of the Judge while he spoke, his eyes occasionally drifting to you as he fought not to smile just because he knew you were the cause of it all.

‘I see here Mr. Billings became violent?’ the Judge confirmed, and Matt nodded in fake solemness as he went back to his table.

‘Punched a wall, their bedroom wall right next to her to be precise, so who’s to say he wasn't aiming for her and simply missed?’

‘I didn’t!’ Lester spoke up, the Judge giving him a warning look for speaking out of turn but ultimately not calling him out while also letting Matt continue.

‘In this picture my client has provided, you can see the actual indent where he made contact, note the sunken area from his knuckles, I know I wouldn’t want my kid to be anywhere near someone like that,’ he said a bit too casually as he shared the photo with her, only to receive his own visual warning for not taking this seriously. ‘Anyway, my point is that Mr. Billings is a liar, a cheat, and now, as of that night, prone to violent tendencies as well, which, if everyone may agree with me, is not a very suitable lifestyle when raising children.’

A chorus of agreements came from her side of the room, and you actually opened your mouth that time before shutting it tight and biting your lip. Matt collected his photo and went to sit back down, but not before shooting you a glance, and you were glad he worked on another floor than you because you were about to plan ahead and trash his office come Monday. He relished in your expression and sat back down again, the Judge going over the papers in front of her before looking forward again.

‘It says here that the main cause of separation was cheating, but according to his report he claims that to be the misunderstand that’s been mentioned; I know it doesn’t matter in the end since this seems to be mutual at this stage, but I feel like it would be better going forward to have this addressed so as to not give the children a skewed opinion of their father, if you don’t mind,’ the Judge said with a frown as she looked between both parties, and you quietly let out a calm breath while you mentally prepared yourself for what was to come.

‘It’s fine by us, Ms. Rothschild was looking forward to this getting cleared up,’ Matt loudly proclaimed so there’d be no chance you didn’t hear it, Gwen not as loudly agreeing as the Judge nodded and motioned for them to proceed. ‘Ms. Rothschild, if you would kindly take the stand so everyone can hear your side of things.’

‘This isn’t a trial, she can stay where she is,’ the Judge was quick to correct, but Matt’s smile was still wide as he looked back at his audience.

‘Yes, but we’ve also brought in some… ex-mutual friends of theirs who’d like to back up her claims, if you don’t mind,’ he informed her, and she considered it before deciding it might help to get their outsiders opinions even though you knew they were bound to side entirely with her until the truth became skewed even more, this wasn't fair. ‘Thank you, Your Honour; Rita, if you’d please?’

She stood and walked over to the stand, the bailiff overseeing everything shrugging before bringing over the court’s bible and having her say her oath of truth before returning to his spot. ‘Well, I’d say it started a few months back, when he returned from getting groceries. We decided that that would be his thing since I’d be at home watching Annie after preschool, and it was just easier for him to do it on his way home,’ she began, your eyes switching between her and Lester as he listened intently. ‘It was subtle at first, he’d get home a little later, something new would be in his cart that I hadn’t asked for, but it wasn't until he started talking about them that I knew something was wrong.’

You saw him open his mouth to object but Gwen silenced him, this was her time to talk, he would get his soon enough.

‘It was so little I barely noticed, just some dinner conversation as everyone talked about their day, but when they kept getting brought up, not just on Thursday but throughout the week, and then when my daughter asked for some friends to sleep over now that summer had started, he ended up turning it into this big party. We’ve thrown them before, we’re very social people, but there was something about this one that felt off, like it was just an excuse to get as many people there as possible.’

She paused, looking troubled as she thought back to it, and you hadn’t known that the party you’d been invited to was actually just supposed to be for her, that explained why so many of them had stayed when they went in for the night.

‘But I knew something was wrong when he brought home that cheesecake, neither of us even like Caramel Pecan, and I tried to excuse it like maybe he’d gotten it for the girls, or maybe he was trying something new, but the moment I saw him give them a piece I knew it. I knew that there was something going on behind my back.’

The Judge frowned but didn’t say anything, murmurs drifting over from your right, and you looked at Lester as he and Gwen said something so quiet you couldn’t hear a single word even from that close. ‘A gift for the secret lover, was it?’ Matt asked like he didn’t already know the answer, and Rita nodded as she shot you a cold look.

‘And it wasn't just that, he also had them sit next to him while we watched movies, and I watched as he grabbed them around the waist and threw them into the pool so they could flirt not just in front of me but in front of all our friends, like he was flaunting the fact that he’d found someone else at me,’ she continued angrily, her voice rising as she turned her attention to him, and he tried again to speak only to be silenced. ‘He kept inviting them to our house after that, kept throwing parties of various sizes and always inviting them even though they barely knew each other, and they didn’t come often but whenever they did his eyes were always on them, I saw him do it.’

Your mouth fell open as you let out a soft gasp, and Lester stared straight ahead at her, completely ignoring you as you tried to think of him watching you while you were around, but you’d always tried so hard to keep it platonic, to not overstep any boundaries and stay out of that part of his life, had he really been looking at you the entire time?

‘That was when you decided to ask him about it, right before your vacation, correct?’ Matt asked like this was the best drama he’d ever gotten to witness because she was talking about you, someone he personally knew and contended against.

‘Correct, I didn’t want to go anywhere with him if he’d be thinking about someone else, and I certainly didn’t want to risk him inviting them along on our family vacation.’

‘Was there ever an actual concern about that?’ the Judge interrupted, and Rita shrugged before nodding.

‘Yes, at one point he asked if maybe we should let the kids bring one friend each so they could have more fun, teased about asking the Himuras since Deni is friends with their daughters, but it was the way he said it, like he wanted to ask someone but not them, that this was just another excuse, and that’s when I asked him to be honest with me about the cheating.’ Lester was shaking his head as she spoke, but whether it was because she was wrong or if he regretted what he said because it was true made you unsure of everything you believed before you walked through those doors.

‘And we know how that turned out; he denied your claims, refused to name the lover himself, and when you refused to say it he became violent-’

‘Objection, Mr. Billings told me explicitly that he never answered her questions in her favour because he wasn't aware of what she was even talking about, because this is all just assumptions and slander,’ Gwen interrupted heatedly, she also knew what he’d said and this was making her lose control of her emotions in your stead.

‘He didn’t answer because he’d been caught and didn’t want to admit it and you know it,’ Matt said dismissively with a sneer, the Judge banging her gavel just once to quiet him when she remembered there was a sleeping baby present.

‘Sustained until proven otherwise, leave the judgment up to me, if you’ll please,’ she warned him, and he sat back and crossed his arms as Rita was encouraged to finish.

‘He did become angry when I wouldn’t tell him what he already knew, and when he hit the wall I felt unsafe for the first time around him,’ she concluded seriously, her parents glaring at him as Annie kept sleeping in blissful ignorance of the situation. ‘That was when I asked for custody, and kicked him out of our room. After that he began to stay elsewhere, I never looked him up.’

Matt chuckled to himself but didn’t say anything, and when you felt your skin crawl you noticed that he was staring at you again. ‘Thank you, and if it would please you, Your Honour, I would like to call some friends of theirs to the stand, to share what they saw as well and to prove that this isn’t just a bad take formed out of jealousy.’

‘I’ll allow it.’

You watched as the couple from movie night entered together, their own oaths spoken before they agreed that he’d been oddly close to you during the party, how he favoured you during movie night by making you extra dip even though he never once did that for any of them, and some of them he’d known since highschool. They hadn’t wanted to believe it, but something changed in him since you’d appeared in his life, a change you’d never noticed because you only saw this new him, apparently. You could almost cry, the way they were saying it could almost make you believe he’d fallen in love with you, to the point where you were genuinely unsure if Matt had coached them to say all this for Rita’s sake or if this was the truth.

‘Sounds pretty cut and dry to me, no further questions,’ Matt said as they sat down, and the Judge looked equally as convinced as she turned her attention back to Lester.

‘Indeed, but we still need to hear from Mr. Billings,’ she reminded everyone, and he was about to stand when Matt held up a hand to interrupt.

‘Actually, I’d also like to call a colleague of mine to the stand before we get to him,’ he told everyone, and you saw Gwen twitch just a little just as you yourself did.

‘Is this colleague here?’ the Judge asked, and he nodded before whistling; the man from the street, Harley, then appeared from somewhere behind you, he’d been hiding out of sight and was holding a coffee and a manilla envelope as he walked up to Matt and handed it over. He opened it up, peeked inside, and grinned so excitedly that it almost made you sick as he then turned to you and motioned for you to come forward.

You stood and did as he asked, it was finally your turn, and Lester watched you go along with everyone else as you sat in the worn seat and tried to keep your breathing level. ‘Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?’ the bailiff asked you as your hand shook over the cover, and you looked to Lester before steeling your gaze in Matt’s direction, his expression telling you that he thought this would be not only his win but your loss, that maybe this would finally be enough to up his credit enough to join the big leagues, this imaginary promotion that’ll finally tell him he was a success.

‘I do,’ you replied honestly, and he shook his head in amused pity before removing the papers along with a phone from the envelope to lay out on the table. He stood again, he couldn’t remain seated with this, and he cracked his neck for show before jumping right into it.

‘Thursday, May 9th, that’s when you first met him, wasn't it?’ he asked smugly as he checked over his notes, the Judge the last to know that it was all leading up to this as she sat up a little straighter.

‘Yes, that was the day I first spoke to Le- Mr. Billings at Walkers,’ you confirmed professionally, determined to not make this any worse than it could be, you could do this.

‘But it wasn't until a few weeks later that you were invited to his home, correct?’

‘That’s right, you know a bunch of us were collaborating on the Krill case around that time, I wasn't able to get much shopping done with the late hours,’ you replied, and he hummed and flipped the page.

‘I remember, you guys stole that one from me,’ he muttered because he couldn’t help but let it out, and you tried not to smirk amidst your attempts to keep everything calm and collected. ‘So that means you only met twice before you became friends?’

‘I guess- I mean, yes, technically, but that second time we spent around 40 to 45 minutes getting to know each other, the first time he had to run home shortly after I met him.’

‘And you were unaware that he’d been bringing you up around his family and friends the whole time you were kept away by work?’

Your eye twitched as you glanced at the man in question, and you found a lovely section of wall to stare out down the aisle instead. ‘I was not, no.’

‘And you still accepted his invitation, despite meeting once pretty much?’ He was baiting you, and you very much knew it as you acquainted yourself with the wall in the distance.

‘He seemed pleasant enough, and I don’t meet many people outside of work, I thought it might be fun to give it a try,’ you rationalized in front of everyone, the other reason that you simply liked him and wanted to see him again obviously left out.

‘And the cheesecake…?’

‘We’d stopped by the dessert counter and they only sold it in full cakes, not slices, he bought it as incentive for me to join so I could have some, a friendly encouragement for me to accept,’ you explained, and Rita scoffed as the Judge raised her eyebrow at Lester. ‘At least, that’s what I assumed, he never said it in words.’ It was a lie, an actual lie, and you watched his expression change as he became unsure if he’d said that to you or not.

‘Which you did accept, in the end, did you not? Directly from him according to Rita,’ Matt confirmed, and you nodded as you recalled that night.

‘He was handing it out to not just me, but a few others as well, I wasn't a special case,’ you clarified as you remembered him grabbing several slices from both cheesecakes to hand out to those still sitting and getting ready for the movie. ‘And before you mention the pool, yes, he did throw me in, but by pushing me, not by grabbing me around the waist, I don’t know where she got that from. He pushed me, jumped in, and then others did as well, it was a pool party after all and now that all the kids were inside or asleep it was the adults’ turn to swim.’

Matt frowned as he went back to his notes, another page flipped to as your shoulders relaxed just a little again. ‘And the movie gathering, with the dip?’

‘I arrived late so I’d missed out on it, he made more so I could enjoy some as well, and when I got my portion it was shared with everyone else, if I’d arrived on time he more than likely would’ve kept watching the movie.’ You felt satisfied when you saw the couple nod like they’d forgotten that point, you were winning them over, and they looked at you a little less dirtily as you fought the urge not to smile. ‘He only kept inviting me to things because we only had time to socialize while we grocery shopped, which isn’t very good for a new friendship, this was his way of keeping us familiar and not just shopping strangers since he knew my weekdays were full, I’m sure you’d be more familiar with that if you had more clients.’

A faint snicker filled the room at your comment, Matt’s face going red before he got serious; he flipped ahead so fast he nearly tore the pages, and when he found what he was looking for he looked like he was the cat and you were the canary. ‘Keep it up while you can,’ he whispered before smiling at the Judge, Rita looking worried until she saw his expression. ‘Thursday, July 18th, almost an entire month after the divorce was called, you went back to his home to find him, did you not?’

The smile you didn’t realize you were wearing then started to fall, and you concentrated on your patch of wall again as you nodded. ‘I did, yes. I hadn’t seen him in two weeks and I was worried.’

‘Oh, just two? Wouldn’t he have been missing for a month?’ he quickly asked, looking like he’d caught you, and you nibbled your lip a moment in frustration.

‘I’d assumed he was on vacation, he’d told me about it and since I knew the kids were on holiday I just figured he was in California,’ you clarified even quicker, but he didn’t look convinced as he flipped to the next page.

‘Uh huh, according to Rita it says here that you asked for him specifically while in a panic, and when she informed you of his move you began banging on the door and asking about their children, you sound pretty invested for just a weekend friend,’ he pointed out as he turned on his heel to face everyone, and when you looked at Lester he looked just as surprised to hear this news as you were to hear about him watching you.

‘It’d been two weeks and something felt wrong, I needed to make sure everything was okay,’ you told him, your eyes no longer finding the wall as he spun to face you, his low ponytail creating a flash of gold across his crisp black blazer. ‘And she hadn’t told me about the move until after she assaulted me via a slap to the face, as well as insinuated that I’d come there to steal him away. I would never, that had never been my intention.’

‘At first.’ Matt skipped almost giddily over to you before handing the Judge a bunch of papers and slamming one on the stand in front of you, and you frowned in confusion as you saw yourself in the photo; it was the night you’d met up with him again, the two of you hugging in his car, and you desperately tried to find the words as the Judge frowned disapprovingly. ‘You met up with him again at Walkers a week later, where you proceeded to not only pay for his groceries according to my sources, but also invite him back to your home to stay while he searched for a new residence, instead of his current hotel room, where does all that fit in with your intentions?’

He was positively smug as the Judge motioned for Gwen to approach as well, everyone else whispering to each other until Annie started to stir and forced them to be silent. ‘Did you know about this?’ she asked while Lester sat there uneasily, and Gwen reluctantly nodded while Matt failed to suppress another chuckle.

‘If they may explain, it was a rooming of convince, nothing more,’ Gwen said on your behalf, and the Judge looked to you before letting her go again so you could finish.

‘I was simply extending some kindness to someone who’d gotten me out of the house more times than anything else in those couple months; I saw a friend in need, so I offered him my couch until he could find his own place, I’d figured it would’ve been too hard to place a downpayment on anything when all of his funds were tied up into that room, that’s all.’ You were starting to speak firmly, and he knew he was getting to you as he scrunched up his face in humorous disbelief.

‘Did you, though? Because from what I heard, he was actually sleeping in your bed the entire two weeks he was with you,’ he told everyone, and the only reason you didn’t get angry was because you were starting to get very confused.

‘Where did you hear that?’ you demanded to know, but he wasn't done talking.

‘Along with that, apparently you were also there when he signed the deed to his house, as well as went shopping for a new bed, where the two of you not only came but also left together to head to said house as soon as it was in working order,’ he listed loudly just so no one would miss it, a photo to prove each point landing in front of you as cruel reminders, and you made a grab for the notebook on pure instinct as he laughed and jumped back, holding it out of your reach.

‘Would you two please control yourselves? Is everything he said true? Remember that you’re under oath,’ the Judge asked you very seriously, and you looked around in a growing panic before your eyes landed on Harley; all at once you recognized him, he’d been one of the workers who’d helped you load up his car that day, your focus purely on the frame to the point where he’d been practically invisible to you at the time.

‘Yeah, yeah it’s true,’ you admitted, and Rita looked furious in her belief that she was being proven right. ‘He slept in my bed because the couch hurt his back too much, so I took it instead in the meantime, and we went shopping together because he’s incredibly indecisive and needed a second opinion. I helped him with his house because it was disgustingly dirty from being empty for so long, and it would’ve taken him ages to clean it up alone despite the size.

‘Every single thing you’ve said has just reaffirmed that I’ve been helping my friend where everyone else had left him high and dry, there’s absolutely nothing you can take away from that and the fact that I have never once made any sort of move on him, not in my own home and certainly not in either of his. Lester is my friend, I’m here today to support him while he tries to get his kids back in his life, and I don’t see how any of this is going to reach that if we keep messing around on this false accusation!’ You quickly lowered your voice when Annie stirred again, a few hushes and leg bounces lulling her back to sleep as she held her grandmother tight, but Matt didn’t look dissuaded by your speech, in fact, he looked like he’d finally gotten you as he held up the final photo but didn’t show you.

‘Could you please read out your last conversation with Mr. Billings to the court, please?’ he asked calmly, and your anger turned to panic as Gwen silently asked what he meant to Lester out of the corner of your eye.

‘What?’

‘Could you please read-’

‘I know what you said, but why?’ you asked uneasily, and he sighed before turning to the Judge.

‘Please follow the request,’ she ordered, and you sucked in an unsteady breath as you unlocked your phone and went to his chat.

‘You know he brought me screenshots, don’t make me use them instead,’ Matt muttered under his breath, and you didn’t even have to ask to know that it was because you’d left you car unlocked, giving your tail the perfect opportunity to take pictures of your messages after seeing Lester send them only for you to arrive shortly after the night before.

‘I can’t,’ you told him as you stared at the words, it would all be taken the wrong way, and he took your phone from you without a fight before handing it to the Judge.

‘“I miss you,”’ she read aloud, and Gwen put her head in her hand as Lester stood, the Judge reading the rest while Rita’s side of the room started whispering again. ‘“I can’t sleep, can you come over?” These speak for themselves, what do you have to say about them?’

You couldn’t get a single word out as your phone was handed back to you, but you needed to try before everything you’d just said was thrown out the window. ‘He was stressed, he couldn’t sleep, nothing happened,’ you explained weakly, Matt already on top of it as he held his page a little tighter.

‘The second the door opened you were in his arms,’ he let everyone know, and you shook your head when that wasn't the photo he wanted to share.

‘We’d had a fight before he left, a misunderstanding, he just missed me,’ you tried to say, and that’s when he struck, the image of the two of you lying in bed together fully selling the lie. ‘These were taken without our consent,’ you mumbled, but it was too late, Harley had been there, he’d seen everything from the start, this was just the icing on the cake of the lie to everyone.

‘Caught in bed, that doesn’t look very platonic to me, see he’s even got his arm around your waist for real this time.’ Matt was on Cloud 9 as he spoke, the Judge agreeing and completely convinced that there was something going on after all.

‘He couldn’t sleep,’ you repeated softly, and as if to add insult to injury, he finally brought out the phone from the envelope over from the table.

‘Last chance to tell the truth,’ he offered, and something in you snapped as your entire body went stiff.

‘Oh fuck off Matt,’ you snarled, a slap to the desk your warning since the gavel was too loud, and he gave you another fake sigh before pulling up the phone’s gallery. He turned up the volume and turned the screen to the Judge, and it was dark and a little shaky but the sound still filled the large and empty room with ease.

‘I love you.’

Lester’s voice from last night bounced off every corner until it was impossible to ignore, and Matt played the clip again just to be sure.

‘I love you.’

‘So much for platonic,’ he figured as he played it again for good measure, and the Judge took the phone to make sure that yes, that was the two of you in the video as well as his voice through the speaker behind the cicadas and crickets that conveniently blocked out the next part where he called you his friend. ‘And are those tears when you roll over at the end? Guess the guilt of destroying a family can do that to you, yikes… Your Honour, if you could now swipe to the right you’ll find them the next morning as well,’ he told her, and you just barely saw footage of you two hugging in the doorway, the camera perfectly catching his kiss to your forehead before you wrapped your arms around him; it cut off just in time to make your hug look like a real kiss despite your face never leaving his chest in reality, and your frustration and helplessness at what you’d done to him bubbled up and overflowed until you felt a hot streak fall down your cheek.

‘I knew it, how dare you stand up there and lie to everyone, you ruined my marriage!’ Rita yelled as you gripped the wood until your hands hurt, her outburst finally enough to wake up Annie as she started crying along with you. She was inconsolable, her grandparents unable to calm her as Rita rubbed her eyes, her own anger at this whole situation going in circles until she was ultimately proven right also overflowing as she banged her hand off the table. ‘Can you please just take her outside, mom?’

‘Please, let me,’ Lester suddenly said, his first words in what felt like ages, and he didn’t wait for permission as he crossed over to the other side of the courtroom to reach for his baby girl. ‘Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here,’ he whispered softly as he took her from her grandmother’s arms, and she blinked through her tears as she reached up to touch his face, ‘it’s just me, it’s your daddy, it’s me.’ Her crying calmed as she recognized him in her childish sorrow, her small voice confirming that it was indeed her father before she curled against him and held on tight.

The room went silent as he kept hushing her, his arm bouncing slightly until her crying ceased completely, and when she started to fall back asleep again he couldn’t stop his own tears from falling as he kissed her head and breathed in deep. ‘Alright, she’s going home, just gi-’

‘Let me hold her, please,’ he begged immediately, cutting Rita off and holding his daughter away when she reached out to take her. ‘It’s been two months, just please let me hold my daughter for a little while longer…’ Rita backed down, Matt scoffing at the wasted time as Lester gave Annie another kiss, and even though it physically pained him to let go he eventually did; her grandmother took her back before they both left, Lester not fully breaking until the doors had closed and there was no risk of waking her, an awkward but also sad air filling the room as his friends finally saw what they’d done to him.

‘Can we get back to this, if you don’t mind?’ Matt asked from the floor, but Lester was done, he’d just had to give away his little girl after watching his only friend be torn apart in front of him, and he was done.

‘No, because I do mind,’ he told him as he turned, his cheeks wet but his eyes deathly serious as he approached the stand. ‘I’m sick of everyone trying to tell me what I did, what happened when I was there, and I won’t let this go any further. I asked them to come over, and we did lay in bed together, but only because I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that I can’t do this alone, not because I cheated on you, Rita. No matter how you interpreted my actions, I know what my intentions were, and they were never to be disloyal to you.

‘I’ve loved you ever since we were teenagers, and I was ready to spend the rest of my life with you, but I can see now that we married too soon, and that no matter how much I love you and my children, it will never be enough to fix what you’ve broken. I know I scared you, I was afraid myself, that night, and I don’t care if you can never forgive me for it, but don’t punish me for something I didn’t do by convincing yourself that I’m a monster.’ He stopped to take a breath, everyone silent as Matt leaned against his table and waited impatiently for this to end, and you couldn’t stay there any longer until he turned to speak to you and instantly froze you. ‘You’ve been nothing but good to me since we met, and I’m so sorry I dragged you into all of this.’

‘I’m the one who ruined your marriage,’ you murmured miserably, and he shook his head before turning back to Rita.

‘No, you ruined our marriage the moment you stopped trusting me and broke our vows,’ he told her, and for the first time she looked almost regretful of her actions. ‘You can have the divorce, spending these past two months without you has taught me that maybe this has been a long time coming, and I didn’t lie, I never cheated on you and never intended to, but… these two months have also told me that I don’t have to walk out of here with nothing even if they rule in your favour.’ He glanced back to you for just a moment, and you swore he might actually be in love before he focused on the Judge. ‘I know all of what you just heard and saw was taken horribly out of context, and… and maybe my intentions have changed over time, but I’m not a liar, and I would never harm my children, you have to believe that, Your Honour.’

‘Oh, I believe it,’ she agreed after watching him calm his crying baby with ease before baring his soul to everyone. ‘We might’ve gotten off track there for a while, I apologize for letting that go on for as long as I did, but it’s very clear to me that despite the multiple errors in judgment on pretty much everyone in this room’s part, it wouldn’t be a fair ruling to let you walk out of here without custody.’ She smacked the gavel now that Annie was away, and Lester’s legs nearly failed him as he smiled in pure relief. ‘Temporary full custody will remain with Ms. Rothschild while you finish your new residence, and when the house is furnished and ready to house the children, we’ll meet up again to go over things and discuss how often they’ll stay with the both of you.’

‘Thank you, thank you so much,’ Lester sobbed joyfully before he crashed into the partition gate, and you and Gwen rushed to him to help him remain standing long enough to get to a seat. Matt swore to himself as Rita kept her distance, their friends deciding to make amends as they walked over to him and apologized, they’d spread the word that Rita had been wrong, and he couldn’t seem to stop crying as he smiled until his cheeks surely hurt just as much as yours did.

Another month went by as summer finally gave way to fall, and Halloween decorations started to fill the streets as you drove through the neighbourhood. Four pumpkins were strapped into your seats and made the car smell nice as you drove, the familiar way to Lester’s home engraved in your mind until you were pulling into the driveway behind him. You left the car unlocked as you ran up to the door to knock, and it was clear he’d seen you through the kitchen window as the door swung open to reveal him standing there in the most dad-themed apron you’d ever seen; it was of another man with a very chiseled stomach, something of which you assumed he didn’t have based on the few glimpses you’d gotten when he’d stayed with you, and you raised an eyebrow at him as he went in for a hug.

‘It’s incentive to keep to my new diet, since you helped the last one fail so many times,’ he joked before pulling you to his chest, and you kept it to yourself that you didn’t mind how he looked as you hugged him back.

‘You’re a grown man, you could’ve always said no,’ you reminded him as you headed back for the car, Lester following after setting down the dish towel he was still holding. You grabbed a pumpkin each and brought them to the dining room, or the small section of room he considered a dining room since technically his kitchen and living room were openly connected.

‘Shaun’s gunna love this one, I can already tell- where’s the fifth?’ he asked when you shut the door, and you looked around for it too in confusion.

‘Fifth?’

‘You’re spending Halloween with us, right? You’re not gunna make me hand out candy with just Annie, are you?’ he asked disappointedly, and you fought the oncoming blush as you looked at the four pumpkins on the table, the last one being baby-sized just for Annie to scribble on instead of carve. ‘There’s a new Stephen King movie coming out that Deni was really excited to share with us, please tell me you aren’t gunna skip out on that one?’

‘I just assumed you’d wanna spend time with your family, since Rita did agree to the whole week just for this,’ you muttered nervously, and the hand he placed on your arm was warm and comforting as he gave you another almost loving look.

‘I think we can consider you a part of the family, especially after everything you did for us,’ he told you honestly, but you still weren’t entirely convinced you could join this part of his life now that you knew you might have a chance at a more permanent friendship with him. ‘Here, I ordered a bunch of food for tonight from that pizza place we used to visit a bunch while I was staying with you, if you go grab it I’ll pay for your pumpkin if you can find one in the next… 27 minutes,’ he offered, and you realized his hand was still on you as it then moved to your hand to hold your palm up to accept his wallet.

‘It takes 13 to get to the pumpkin patch,’ you told him, and he just shrugged before letting you go.

‘Better hurry then, don’t wanna be left out when we’re all sitting here carving pumpkins and eating pizza,’ he tempted you, and when you looked down at the table and imagined it you realized you wanted nothing more than to be a part of that. ‘And, since Rita doesn’t get here til 7, I think it might be nice to just spend some time alone with you, just the two of us, like before… I don’t get to see you as often now that your Thursdays are all booked up,’ he admitted shyly, and your heart pounded when he rubbed at his neck and you finally noticed that he’d taken his wedding ring off now that the divorce was officially and mutually underway.

‘You could come with me, we could maybe check out the Halloween displays at Walkers for a little extra decoration ideas, your house is honestly lacking compared to your neighbours,’ you suggested calmly, and his smile was back to normal as he stripped off his apron and tossed it over the arm of your second couch that so perfectly fit against the living room wall across from his TV, the photo of his kids so far the only other decoration on the stand.

‘I think I could go for some Caramel Pecan cheesecake, if I’m honest, you made me like it a bit more than the Chocolate Fudge Supreme,’ he whispered scandalously as you both headed out the door, and this time you did lean into him a little when his hand found the small of your back on the way to the car.

#Ray's Headcanons #Ray's Requests #david dastmalchian #Lester Billings #Lester Billings x reader #I had SO much fun writing Matty's scene it's like a little treat me for each time since I only work on LtF a few days a week now

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mesillusionssousecstasy · 5 months ago

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Bridgerton : season 3 - Quotes

"- Shall I fetch you a refreshment, Your Majesty? (Brimsley) - Perhaps a casket. The lack of interest here today shall usher me to an early grave at any moment." (The Queen - Episode 1)

"- Although, if there is one thing I learned on my travels, it is forever to expect the unexpected." (Collin - Episode 1)

"- But I have none. (Penelope) - Often, that is all it takes. Men are quite simple beings. Pen, living for the estimation of others is a trap." (Colin - Episode 2)

"- I do appreciate your concern about cruelty, but perhaps you should like to find a looking glass... rather than looking at me." (Cressida - Episode 2)

"- A life unmarried is not all bad. Trust me, men can often cause much more trouble than they are worth." (Lady Tilley Arnold - Episode 2)

"- And once hope is lost, a lady may become reckles." (Episode 2)

"- You must throw it like you mean it, Lady Danbury." (Episode 3)

"- The Baron Harvey, Lord Godwin, Mr. Ford. Just as I expected. The lower-ranking lords always show their feathers first. Once they have their fill, the higher-ranking lords inevitably descend." (Lady Danbury - Episode 3)

"- You have my apologies. But... It does seem to have worked, so you have my gratitude as well." (Episode 3)

"- Rather than shrink my sides, I decided long ago to forge my own path, far away from them. I came here to listen to someone who thinks differently, not to hear the familiar chorus of what cannot be done." (Lord Debling - Episode 3)

"- She does not speak to him. I am in awe. I thought one had to use wit or banter to dissuade a suitor. But simple silence is radically more effective." (Episode 4)

"- I find books so captivating. I have a collection of over 1'000 myself. (Lord Debling) - Nothing a book loves more than to be collected." (Eloise - Episode 4)

"- A practical match... but a happy one? Do not become greedy in your success. What more could you want? Oh, do not tell me you're holding out for love. Ugh! This is the very reason why I discouraged you from reading. Love is make-believe. It is only in your story books. Do you know what is romantic? Security. Be smart, Penelope. And if you will not be, then I will be for you." (Lady Featherington - Episode 4)

"- My sister likes to meddle? (Lord Anderson) - Well, that word does not do her justice. She molds society to her vill, and she is rather good at it." (Lady Bridgerton - Episode 4)

"- Well, for what it is worth.... sometimes a fire is slow to burn." (Lady Danbury - Episode 4)

"- Even Lady Wistledown could not disagree with the brilliance of my match." (The Queen - Episode 4)

"- Past lives are dangerous places to revisit. You are unlike many people, Eloise." (Benedict Bridgerton) "- How is it you have the courage to be so different? I simply cannot understand why others do not see things the way I do. - And how do you see things exactly? - Well... since you have asked I understand how my activities may appear rather rakish, but I assure you, they are pure of heart. (Colin) - And is your heart located in your breeches?" (Episode 4)

"- Good evening, Bridgerton. - Bridgerton. Fashionably late?" (Episode 4)

"- Miss Featherington, with the amount of time I will be gone, it is essential I make a match with someone whose affections are not already engaged elsewhere. Whatever it is you are searching for, I do hope you find it." (Lord Debling - Episode 4)

"- It is odd. When I asked for your help in finding a husband, I did not realize that also meant you might try to deny me one as well. In fact, he rejected me because of you. The scene you caused led him to believe you have feelings for me. An idea so preposterous, I do not know what to do besides laugh. Now, will you please let us ride home in silence and leave me alone. (Penelope) - A feeling that is like torture. But one which I cannot, will not, do not want to give up." (Colin - Episode 4)

"- And until he knows the real you, he cannot possibly love you. There is no better feeling than the truth. If it proves too difficult for you to reveal the truth, I will be merciful and reveal it to him myself. You have until midnight." (Eloise - Episode 5)

"- Lady Whistldown is an astute writer. You have many gifts, but cleverness is not amongst them. Her greatest strength is that she is an observer. What have you observed in your life other than yourself?" (Lady Cowper - Episode 6)

"- I love him, Mama. Even if it is not the love that you want for me." (Francesca - Episode 6)

"- Let us get through this wedding, and then we will decide what this marriage will be." (Episode 7)

"- Perhaps I was wrong to turn on Eloise. She is the one person who has ever shown me true friendship. (Cressida) - Have I not raised you to know that, in this world, it is every person for themselves? Especially amongst women." (Lady Cowper - Episode 7)

"- What were you thinking then? (Colin) - I was thinking that I simply wanted the Colin I know back. Not this stoic man you returned as, acting as if you care for no one and need nothing." (Penelope - Episode 7)

"- What is going on with you and Penelope? (Antony) - All is well between us. The smell of fermented fruit emanating from your person would indicate otherwise. (Kate) - It was celebratory. (Colin) - Two glasses is celebratory. One whole bottle is a cry for help. (Antony) - I do not wish to unburden myself to you two, with your perfect marriage." (Colin - Episode 7)

"- Is all well with you? I saw you crying at the ceremony. (Benedict) - Simply tears at losing another friend to marriage. Or maybe it was dust." (Eloise - Episode 7)

"- Whatever it is, I know you will resolve it. The important part is that you are married now." (Penelope - Episode 7)

"- You know, thinking back on everything, it makes perfect sense. No one would ever suspect you as you are so very forgettable." (Cressida - Episode 8)

"- The game is not last long. Her Majesty has been quite forthcoming with accusations of late. I was wondering how we would come around to that. (Lady Danbury) - You could have had me in checkmate, Lady Danbury. (The Queen) - I realize that. But then the game would be over early. And what fun is there in that?" (Lady Danbury - Episode 8)

"- I contend with the chill already. Must I contend, too, with your displays?" (Episode 8)

"- Certainly no one would notice. Now that Penelope has married her Bridgerton, we are yesterday's news." (Prudence & Philippa - Episode 8)

"- Have you ever seen a lady with child at a ball, Philippa? (Prudence) - Well... no. (Philippa) - That is because once women start showing, they are expected to retreat from society." (Prudence - Episode 8)

"- I take it your mother does not know about your blackmailing my wife? (Colin) - I no longer trust anyone but myself. (Cressida) - That must feel terribly lonely. I have known what it is like to be truly alone, when I am off on my travels. (Colin) - Mr. Bridgerton, I am confused. It seems you have come for me to pay you sympathy, but I am the one who is meant to be paid." (Cressida) - And still, her readers are willing to pay to read about themselves week after week. (Colin) - You do not sound as if you hate Whistledown. You sound as if you are jealous of her. (Cressida) - My point is, there is Whistledown and then there is Penelope, who has experienced a kind of loneliness surely neither of us can fathom. Imagine being so ignored you feel... invisible." (Colin - Episode 8)

"- At least my sisters will be content when my actions lead to destruction. (Penelop) - Perhaps we might aim a little higher with our positive thinking? (Colin) - Cressida has her reasonable moments. Let us hope today is one. (Eloise) - Did you truly like her? Or did you befriend her simply to punish me?(Penelope - Episode 8)

"- It is certainly not my place to give or withhold a blessing on the matter." (Episode 8)

"- Regrettably, no, I have not come on happy business. Though, some have told me they do find release from deception a comforting feeling." (Episode 8)

"- I agree profoundly with everything you've said, as I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about." (Episode 8)

#bridgerton #the bridgertons #quote #bridgerton season 3 #eloise bridgerton #benedict bridgerton #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton

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pixeldistractions · 1 month ago

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previously on boxes and squares…

The following chapters or scenes will be relevant to chapter #5.2. Recap, shall we?

Colette will absolutely tell Jordan to leave, and then also tell him where he can’t go.

“I’m leaving.” “Damn right you are. And don’t let the door hit you on the—” “I mean, I’m leaving. I told the boys already, we talked about it. I’m moving out west.” “What? Where?” “Nevada, probably. It’s not definite yet.” “Like hell you are!” “Colette, you can’t tell me to leave, then tell me where I can’t go.”

Maria has a little bit of money stashed away.

“He’s paying for this one, I’ll pay for the next. It’s even. It should be, right? Aren’t you a feminist?” Lou gave her sister a disapproving stare. “I don’t know, equality and all that, but… that money is for you and JoJo. That’s why Joseph left it to you, so you’d be taken care of. Not to spend on your boyfriend.” “I know,” Maria said. “But anyway, he’s never asked me for money. He’s not like that. He’s not materialistic at all.” “Does he know you have it?” “Uh, no, he probably doesn’t.”

Everything you need to know about Maria’s relationship with her parents.

“Please don’t tell Mom and Dad yet,” Maria begged. “Give me a week or two?” “Don’t you think they’ll notice when you don’t need them to watch JoJo while you work?” “I was going to bring JoJo out to see Jordan next month,” Maria said. “I’ll just say we went early.” “They’re going to miss her. They’ll be sad.” “I don’t know about sad,” Maria said. “Mom thinks I’m a burden.” “She never said that.” “She doesn’t have to say it. She would never. Joseph died a war hero, so she so can’t say it because she doesn’t want to look bad. But I know she wished I never got married and knocked up and widowed at twenty-one in the first place, then she wouldn’t be honor-bound to help me. She thinks I’m a wreck. She already raised her children, and she never wanted to help raise a grandchild, too. Well, now she doesn’t have to worry about us anymore.”

Jordan’s climb club family.

Jordan was perplexed at how he ended up here, part of all this, especially since he’d spent the better part of his twenties alienating himself and pushing people away. Now his family was part of all this, too, before they even got here. These people hadn’t met Maria yet, but already they loved her. They hadn’t met his boys yet, but already they were expected to share a bunk room with the other children in Japan next winter. These people were warm and welcoming. No one was left uninvited. No one was left behind. No one was allowed to give up. These people were wild and brave and unstoppable, and Jordan hadn’t met so many people like this in his whole life. They understood each other. They didn’t question each other’s priorities or ambitions. Nobody thought of him as frivolous or irresponsible for wanting to do this. You want to climb mountains? Well, of course you do! Let’s go do it! Jordan wasn’t looking to find his tribe here, but they scooped him up, folded him into their world, and adopted him anyway. It was everything. Almost.

Jordan said he was going to take Maria to his favorite spot in the climbing park.

“It looks better in person. Can’t wait to show you this.” “How will I get up there?” “I’m gonna carry you up the wall under one arm like I’m King Kong,” he said. “What!?” she squealed happily. “Just kidding, there’s stairs, too.”

Before we get into #5.2. Because I know this story is LONG, and I’ve noticed a few new faces around here lately joining us in book 5! (Hi, new friends!) Let’s pretend we’re one of those dramatic HBO series on a Sunday night and do little recaps before new chapters start.

And the youngins around here won’t even understand why I said “Sunday night,” from back in the day when you couldn’t just binge-watch an entire season whenever you wanted. All the most moody and dramatic TV shows were on Sunday nights. Deeper comedies and light dramas were always on Thursdays. Sitcoms were Monday, Wednesday, or Friday. Saturday night was nothing except reruns and SNL. Anyone else old enough to remember??? Somebody hand me my cane, lol! 👵

#ts4 #sims 4 #simblr #sims story #sim stories #old stories coming back around again

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achaotichuman · 7 months ago

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Thank you for writing those headcanons! I appreciate them!

But could you pweeeeeeeese write some headcanons or like an imagine on what it would be like to be tamlin's lover? Like what would tam tam do for AND with his lover? Pretty pweeeeese. I'm gonna use the magic word

✨️ bbygirl ✨️

Pweese?

How dare you pull out the bbygirl once again.

But of course, I shall give you what you wish for, dear anon.

Here is a lovely list of reader x Tamlin headcanons. Once again, these are all gender ambiguous because Tam Tam is for the guys, gals, non-binary pals, and supernatural entities and anomalies.

Everyone keep in mind, I suck at doing reader x character headcanons, so cut me some slack here.

Tamlin will go out of his way to make sure you are happy. He'll pick up on little things you say, like your favorite foods, books and music and he'll do everything in his power to find them for you. Even if it's something like an ice-cream flavor that you liked as a kid and can't find anymore, he disappear for a few hours and then surprise you with it. He gets you flowers every single week, without fail, same day, same time, every week since you started courting. He grew them all himself, and all the flowers have different meanings that make a message, it's not all about love, sometimes it will reference if the week has been sad, confusing, or joyful. Even if it is pouring rain he will go out and pick them, then present them to you soaked at the door. Tamlin has a recipe book that used to be his mother's and was passed down from her family. He gave it to you because he knew his mother would have wanted to teach you all her favorite recipes, and this feels like giving her that precious moment in a way. You surprised him by making a feast from those recipes. With Alis' help of course. Rhysand came by to try and taunt Tamlin, wanting to send him spiraling. He walked into Tamlin's office already going off on his tangent. But when the chair turned around to face him, it was you sitting there with your arms crossed, eyes glaring. Rhysand was stood in shock, then Tamlin appeared behind him saying "Do we have a problem here?" Rhysand left very shortly after that. Tamlin has regular nightmares, and often times cannot be consoled after them, so he shifts to beast form and simply watches over you from the foot of the bed. You have taken to moving across the bed and laying down beside him whilst humming a song he wrote for you. Even though he is still afraid to come out of beast form, he has started sleeping again after the nightmares. Tamlin showed you a treehouse he built when he was a kid, it's out hidden in the forest. Near falling apart which he was a little upset over as it was his favorite place as a kid. So you got the sentries and set to work on rebuilding it. When you showed it to him, reconstructed and freshly painted, he cried as he kissed you. Once when you were strolling through the Spring Court, you came across a pit of mud, and Tamlin, wanting to have one those romantic carrying scenes, picked you up to carry you across. You were giggling and he was so proud of himself. Turns out, it was a lot deeper than originally thought and you both fell in. You laughed so hard you got a bloody nose and Tamlin did not try to do that again. You will both stay up late into the night, telling jokes and telling stories like kids at a sleepover, laughing until Alis is banging on the door telling you to go to sleep. It's some of the most fun Tamlin has had in years and you are so happy to make him happy. You like to wrap yourself in blankets like a burrito in the morning, because it's cold and you don't want to get up. So, Tamlin will scoop you up, blankets and all, and carry you downstairs for breakfast. At the next High Lord's meeting, when you attended, Rhysand made one too many degrading comments to Tamlin. So you retaliated with making friends with *everyone* and subtly talked shit about the Night Court until rumors were spreading galore. As the Inner Circle scrambled for damage control, you and Tamlin sat back and delighted at the entertainment.

I hope these suffice anon!

#acotar #pro tamlin #acotar headcanons #tamlin #y/n x tamlin #reader x tamlin #reader x tamlin headcanons #reader insert #reader x character #acotar au

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laughhardrunfastbekindsblog · 3 months ago

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Notes: This is an expansion of the first section of my Tech Lives short story Lost and Found, and is told primarily from Echo's and Omega's perspectives. It started as a drabble to highlight Echo's/Omega's initial reactions to finding Tech, but my brain just wouldn't stop adding more details so... well, it is no longer a drabble 😅

Read on Ao3

Word Count: 6726

The Lost One

Echo walked into the rather small wooden cabin and glanced around. He was looking for Tintha's engineer/mechanic - the engineer who had become somewhat famous among certain circles not only for his brilliant skills but also due to his rather abrupt appearance on the codebreaking and data slicing scene in the past few years. Word had reached Echo's corner of the Rebel Alliance that not only was this engineer trustworthy and reliable, he could decrypt anything; and Echo needed this data decrypted if he wanted the intel necessary to free the small but influential rebel cell that had been captured by the Empire.

Echo was fairly certain he was in the right place - the cabin had clearly been converted into a workshop of some kind, with engines and wiring and computers and datapads and other projects in various stages of construction or repair scattered across every surface in some kind of organized chaos - but there was no one else to be seen...

"Do you require assistance?" a voice came from a back room.

The voice struck Echo as being eerily familiar, almost like... - but that was impossible, so he brushed the thought away.

"I'm looking for Nu," Echo replied.

"That would be me," the other said, rounding the corner and examining his client with a frank stare.

Echo had seen enough strange things in his lifetime that he thought he had long since reached the stage where nothing could surprise him. But this...

If he didn't know better, he would think this engineer was Tech. An older, scarred, limping version of Tech... Then again, if Tech had lived, he would be about the age of this man...

But Tech hadn't lived. He had sacrificed himself, shot the connecting strut of the rail car he was attached to in a desperate bid to let the rest of the squad escape. It had worked - the family had survived and even eventually got the Empire off their backs - but Tech had been lost. There was no way he could have survived that fall.

Shaking his head slightly to clear his thoughts, Echo forced himself back to the task at hand.

"I need the information on this data disk decrypted," Echo said, holding out the referenced item. "I was told you're the best person for the job."

"Your intel is correct," the one called Nu said, his face taking on an expression of interest as he looked at the disk, pushing his spectacles up the bridge of his nose. "There is nothing to date that I have not been able to decode."

It was like talking to a ghost - a living ghost. Which made absolutely no sense, even for a clone who had worked closely with superstitious Jedi. The voice, the mannerisms, the speech patterns, the looks... All of it was so reminiscent of Tech.

But Tech was dead.

I have got to get a grip on myself, Echo thought.

"I expect discretion with this," he stated.

"But of course, that's standard protocol."

For some reason, this reassurance alone was enough to prompt Echo to hand the disk over. "How long do you need?" he asked.

Nu slipped the device into a datapad and, after scrutinizing it for a moment, nodded firmly. "The job will be done within the hour. Shall we settle on a fee of 100 credits?"

"Fair enough." Actually, if Nu was as good as he claimed, this was a bargain. "I'll wait here, if you don't mind."

Nu nodded again, rather absently this time, his attention now fixed on the data as he stepped over to a nearby counter to do his work.

Echo wandered aimlessly along the workbenches, glancing at all the projects but with his mind too full of questions to really take note of anything.

It just wasn't possible. Even if Tech had survived, he would have found a way back to the squad, not hidden away for years on a backwater planet that didn't attract even the Empire's notice. He's not Tech. He's NOT Tech....

The villager who had led Echo to Nu's shop had cautioned him, "Nu is quite nice and very smart, but he is also... odd. Everyone likes him, but he keeps to himself and rarely talks about himself, always seems like..." the villager had waved his hand around his head vaguely before finishing, "I dunno, just odd." Echo could now see what the villager meant: confidence in his own skills notwithstanding, Nu seemed uncertain, unmoored, as if he wasn't fully present in the moment, as if... as if half his mind was constantly searching for information that was just out of reach, even as he expertly carried on with mundane tasks and conversations.

Telling himself he was being illogical and irrational wasn't enough. If something had somehow happened to prevent Tech from coming back to the squad, Echo had to know for sure - and he turned to face the engineer.

"So where are you from, Nu?" Echo asked in what he hoped was a casual tone.

Nu looked up at him and blinked. "Are you referring to my birth planet?"

"Yes."

"I... am not sure," Nu shrugged awkwardly.

"Uh, where's your family from, then?"

"I do not know," Nu replied. He was frowning now. "I don't remember any family."

"What do you mean?" Echo pressed, anticipation and dread and - was that hope? - building in his chest.

Nu seemed to briefly ponder whether he wanted to continue participating in this interrogation, before deigning to reply somewhat stiffly, "I was critically injured in an accident many years ago. I remember very little of my life before the accident, and nothing of any family."

Echo's mouth had gone dry, but he pressed on. "What do you remember of your life from before the... accident?"

It was abundantly clear that this was not a pleasant topic for him, but for some reason Nu didn't disengage from the conversation. Instead, he sighed resignedly as he answered, "Nothing that is of any benefit to me. None of it is clear or complete. I cannot even remember the accident itself. I must confess, it is quite unsettling to have dreams or flashes of what seem to be memories, but not recognize any of it."

"I can imagine," Echo said automatically in an attempt to be conciliatory; but he needed to know more. Everything Nu was saying was leading to one conclusion...

"When was your accident?" Echo asked now, drawing Nu's attention away from the device again.

Nu's sigh was more impatient this time. "Oh, about a year or two after the Empire was formed."

Echo's voice was still steady, but he could feel his heart pounding in anticipation. "Where did it happen?"

"On an Outer Rim planet called Eriadu."

It felt like the bottom fell out of Echo's stomach, and his mind went blank...

"Now, if you're quite finished with the questions, I can get on with the work you requested I complete," Nu hinted sharply.

Echo blinked - he was still human, despite the cybernetic implants, and he thought this moment was the closest he would ever get to feeling like he was physically rebooting. "Of... of course," he stammered. "It might be best if I wait outside."

Nu had already returned to his work, and didn't reply nor seem to give any notice to Echo almost staggering to the door.

Once outside, Echo leaned against the wooden framework, closing his eyes and breathing as heavily as if he had just outrun Imperial infiltrator droids, his mind swirling with the implications of the recent conversation.

Nu was Tech. He had to be. A man who looked, sounded, and acted like an older version of Echo’s former squadmate and had suffered and accident on Eriadu that had apparently left him with amnesia, and with all the timeframes matching? Echo had never been as good as Tech at calculating odds and risk, but he intuitively knew the odds that this man was Tech were far greater than the alternative.

I have to tell them, was Echo's first coherent thought; and then he corrected himself. I have to tell Omega.

He couldn't tell his brothers, not yet. Whatever the odds might be, Echo couldn't face the idea of telling Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair that their long-lost brother was alive when there was even the slightest chance he was mistaken. He had to be absolutely certain that his suspicions were correct. Besides, it was clear that Nu - Tech - wanted to regain his memories, wanted to know who he had been before; but he would want solid proof of his identity, more than what at this point amounted to no more than (very) strong circumstantial evidence, and Echo would have to gain Nu's trust if he wanted to have any hope of assisting with this objective. And Echo had the feeling that it would be best to give Nu some space to regain his memories before raising the family's hopes...

"It's finished," Nu said, dragging Echo away from his contemplations and gesturing for Echo to follow as he stepped back into the workshop.

The engineer handed Echo the original disk as well as the datapad, stating simply, "The data in its decrypted form is downloaded onto the datapad. It will be easier to decipher that way. Now, about payment..."

"Will you meet with a colleague of mine?" Echo suddenly burst out. Events during the recent rebel conflict had made Echo wary about revealing to strangers his familial ties to Omega, and with force of habit prevailing, it was too late to correct it now. "She's a pilot named Omega, and she needs help with a rather complicated task."

If Echo had been hoping the name ‘Omega’ would jog Nu's memories as Tech, he was disappointed. No hint of recognition crossed Nu's face, but his expression did become inflexible, surprising Echo.

"I will meet your colleague," Nu replied, "but I must inform you that while I sympathize with the Rebel cause and will assist you in these tasks, I am not interested in committing to the Rebellion."

Echo, taken aback, attempted to save face. "Who said this is for the Rebellion?"

"It's obvious," Nu deadpanned, clearly unimpressed by the other's feeble protest.

Echo sighed. There were signs Tech - Nu - had changed somewhat over the years, whether from time and experience alone or from the loss of memories, it was impossible to say. But Echo still felt inclined to trust him; and besides, it was a rebel who had recommended Nu's services anyway.

"This isn't an attempt to recruit you," Echo promised, before blurting out the idea that had been circling in his mind. "And maybe... maybe we can help you figure out who you are, in exchange for your help."

Nu scrutinized him for several breathless moments before responding. "Very well," he assented. "When shall I expect your return?"

"Within the next few rotations or so," Echo replied as he handed over the promised payment.

"That is not very specific."

Echo almost smiled. "Now you know what us rebels are like."

Nu shrugged. "I suppose it doesn't matter, as I have no plans to relocate anytime soon."

Echo nodded, even as the thought flitted across his mind that he hoped there might be reason for plans to change in the near future.

He wasted no time in contacting Omega, opening comms as soon as he stepped into his ship. As usual, he couldn't help but smile at the sight of Omega's bright face, though the shock of the recent revelation must have still weighed heavy on his face, for Omega instantly furrowed her brow.

"What happened?" she asked.

Echo sidestepped the question for the moment. "Have you completed the Sindoni mission yet?"

Omega huffed out a breath. "Not yet. All of our attempts have failed."

"There's someone I'd like you to meet who I think will be able to solve the problem." He took a breath, preparing to reveal the news, but Omega spoke first.

"You're a lifesaver, Echo! Where should I meet you?"

"I need to get this intel back to my people, but we can meet in a few days on the planet Tintha, in the Torus system. I'll send you the coordinates. And... Omega? The person you'll be meeting? It's... Tech."

****

Omega landed next to Echo's vessel, briefly closing her eyes and taking a deep, calming breath.

She knew Echo would never tell her anything he wasn't sure of... But the idea that Tech had survived and was still alive had been so difficult to grasp that even now, after acknowledging that the evidence Echo presented led to one distinct possibility, she couldn't accept it.

She had agreed with Echo that they should wait to tell the others - partially because she herself still couldn't believe it.

She had always been an optimist, hoping for the best - but THIS hope seemed so far beyond the realm of possibility, it was wrenchingly painful to even consider.

Perhaps this disbelief was why she had remained so calm the past few days as she had prepared to meet her rebel brother on Tintha. Now, however, the butterflies that had woken in her stomach threatened to steal her composure. These weren't the slightly anxious yet giddy butterflies that accompanied significant but relatively low-consequence events like first dates or public speeches or talking to her brothers about getting her own ship. No, these were far more violent butterflies, doing wild acrobatics that made her stomach awfully queasy and her head woozy and her legs weak.

She wasn't her brothers' kid for nothing, though: no matter how on edge the anticipation was making her feel now, no one looking at her would ever guess how she was truly feeling as she steadily and confidently strode off her ship to meet Echo, giving him a warm hug before letting him lead the way down the quiet, dusty street to the cabin workshop that apparently housed Tech.

Tech, possibly found alive after all these years of being presumed dead.

"Just go with the flow," Echo said in an undertone as they neared their destination. "We're just here for me to introduce you and for you to ask if he can help with your squad's problem. Remember, he goes by the name Nu now. I don't think it's time yet to tell him our suspicions."

Omega nodded - she and Echo had been over this several times, but she knew her brother was still processing this turn of events just as much as she was.

She didn't realize just how tightly she was wound, bracing herself for disappointment, until she caught sight of Nu... And the sudden shocked hope that welled up inside her nearly made her knees buckle.

"Hello again, Echo," the engineer called to them.

The face, the features, the voice, the frank and clear gaze... Even the clear evidence of serious past injuries only served to bolster the theory that this man was...

"Hey, Nu. This is Omega, the pilot I was telling you about," Echo said casually.

Her brain was screaming ECHO'S RIGHT; outwardly, however, she greeted the man who was very likely her brother as she would a new acquaintance she was meeting for the first time, which was rather easy to do given that he approached her the same way.

She had developed such a strong bond with Tech... but right now she was meeting Nu, and Nu didn't know her.

What if he wasn't Tech...?

If he wasn't, the universe was as cold, cruel, and unfeeling as Crosshair often claimed it to be.

She swallowed her heartache and the sharp disappointment that so closely followed the surge of hope, managing a friendly smile as she grasped Nu’s proffered hand. "Pleased to meet you," she said in a tone that thankfully came out as calm and even as Echo's had been.

"Likewise," Nu replied. "Now, what was this project your colleague described as 'complicated'?"

Omega cleared her throat. "We need to find a way to tap into an Imperial communications relay undetected."

"Almost any droid could do that," Nu returned somewhat dismissively. Looking openly at Echo, he added, "Given your cybernetics, you could likely do that."

Omega shook her head. "We need to install the software for the data tap remotely. All our infiltration efforts have failed; this is our last and only option. And the target is a major relay hub processing intel from multiple sectors, so there are more than the usual layers of security and encryptions to breach..."

"Ah, that is a challenge," Nu said; and Omega's spirits sank when his eyes, which had been gleaming with interest, now took on a faraway look.

"Are you saying it can't be done?" she faltered.

The distant look faded as Nu's attention snapped back to her. "Oh, it can. Though it will take me a day or two. And you must be aware that chances are high the program will eventually be discovered by Imperial security sweeps, though I can assure you it will take quite some time for them to detect it."

Omega grinned, relieved; she had come here to verify Echo's suspicions that he had found Tech, but accomplishing a major mission objective that had frustrated her entire division for months was also a win. "That will be fine."

"I assume you have more information regarding the location and security details of the relay in question?"

"Yes, I do," she assured him as she passed over the datapad with the requested intel. "How much do we owe you?"

Nu, suddenly hesitant, glanced somewhat helplessly at Echo. "I was under the impression that you may be able to assist me in discovering my former identity," he said stiffly.

"And so I can," Echo replied promptly. He had already discussed this plan with Omega, and she was happy to let him explain the details. "A blood sample and a scan of your wrist will be a good place to start."

Nu glanced down at his wrist. "I've run my blood sample against a few databases before, but I never considered the possibility that I would have any implanted identifiers..." he said thoughtfully.

"We're not sure you do," Echo answered. "There were some populations pre-Empire who had identifying chips as a standard, though. Worth a shot to scan for one. Even if you have one, it might take a while for me to run it through some of the older databases."

"Very well then. Shall I provide you with the required samples now?"

"No time like the present," Echo replied.

Only a few minutes later, Omega found herself following Echo back to his ship. Nu had indeed been implanted with an identifying chip, though it would take Echo some time to access the old clone databases and run the chip data against the entries. Her brother strode along as calm and confident as ever; she, on the other hand, was caught in an excruciatingly uncertain limbo between hope and despair, and it was leaving her feeling drained.

"Echo, what if it isn't him? And what if it is? He didn't even recognize us at all," she blurted, unable to keep the disappointment out of her voice.

Echo paused in the middle of the deserted path leading to the outskirts of the village, turning to look at her. "Steady, Omega. One step at a time. We need to verify his identity first. No point focusing on what ifs."

Echo was so much like Tech in this regard: taking everything in stride, adapting so readily to any and all surprises, and so rarely getting flustered. She admired this about him, especially since she didn't fully understand how he managed it.

"How can you take this all so calmly?" she sighed.

Echo paused, considering her question. "Because whatever the results of these tests, we're going to have our work cut out for us later to help him," he replied, before resuming the trek back to the ship.

****

Omega hadn't been planning on returning to Nu's until tomorrow - he had said he would need at least a day to complete the job, after all, and she didn't want to bother him - but after several hours of fruitless waiting on Echo's ship, then trying unsuccessfully to catch a nap on her own ship, followed up by some time wandering aimlessly around the tiny village and smiling back at the curious and overall friendly residents, she found herself walking through the threshold of the little shop again and looking around for the owner, stepping to the side to dodge a young boy exiting the cabin holding what appeared to be a power coil for a stove.

She spied Nu seated at the corner of one of the long workbenches, various apparatus having been pushed to the side to give him room for his current project. Omega saw her datapad was connected to two other pieces of equipment she didn't know the names for as Nu studied another screen, occasionally tapping on a second datapad.

Nu didn't look up, but he must have noticed her, for he now spoke. "I take it you have memorized the layout of the settlement? Hedi was telling me just now that you made no fewer than three full circuits of the village."

Omega chuckled a little self-consciously. "I think it might have been five. Your village is rather... small, and there's not much else for me to do right now."

Now he looked up, considering her for a moment before saying, "This job will be completed sooner if you feel inclined to assist. It will also help pass the time for you."

She hadn't been expecting this, but she needed no further invitation. Pulling a stool up to the workbench, she sat and faced him. "How can I help?"

Nu slid several tools and a small rectangular gadget towards her. "This adapter needs rewiring to be compatible with the computer model you specified you will be using to upload the spike. Do you know how to do that?"

She picked up the adapter and examined it for a moment before nodding. "Yes."

"Good," and with that, Nu returned to his work.

She set to work herself, while thinking back to the countless times before when she had helped Tech with his projects...

This was so similar, yet so different. Tech, prone to being equally absorbed in his work, had still passed the time they spent working together fielding Omega's sundry questions and keeping up a steady conversation with her. Nu, on the other hand, was so quiet, hadn't yet shown any hint of Tech's quick wit and sardonic humor and tendency for banter, and was somehow intently focused on his work while simultaneously distracted. He seemed... lost.

Nu was so much like Tech, yet not quite Tech... He couldn't be, he didn't remember any of Tech's life - or at least, as he had told Echo, the very little he did remember made no sense to him.

She didn't want to interrupt him, but she couldn't help speaking.

"Echo says you lost your memories."

"Yes, I had assumed he told you."

"You... You had no idea who you were when you woke up from your accident?"

"Well, I intuitively had a general idea of my identity as an adult human male, and I knew how to talk and perform basic mobility functions, but I had no recollection of my name or family or skill set or previous life. My general knowledge of facts about the galaxy returned with very little prompting, and skills such as these" - gesturing vaguely around the room - "seemed to come naturally to me. I assume I acquired them before I was injured."

"But... No idea of your name? Your home? Your... Your family?"

"No."

Something seemed to shift in him with this admission, the sense of loss becoming almost tangible, and Omega's heart nearly burst with sympathy. Whether he was actually Tech or not, Nu had somehow managed to regain so much of himself, but it wasn't enough. There was still something missing.

"You don't just want to know your former identity. You really want your old memories back, don't you?"

Nu paused but kept his eyes fixed on his work as he replied slowly, carefully considering his words, "I am who I am. Recalling my previous name or place of birth or prior occupations will be welcome knowledge - it will be a relief to no longer be ignorant of such an extended period of my own life. But that knowledge likely won't change my nature or who I have grown to be. However, there were people in my old life who were important to me - of that I am certain. Above all else, I want to remember them. I want to discover if they are alive and well now. The tribe on Eriadu cared for me, the people here on Tintha are welcoming; but what family I may have had, I want to know them."

She looked away to hide the tear that escaped down her cheek, but she needn't have worried: Nu didn't look up. Taking a few moments to steady her voice, she finally said, "Well, we'll find out who you are, and then you'll be able to find your family. I'm sure of it."

Shaken out of his reverie, Nu straightened and refocused his attention on the apparatus in front of him. "You're an optimist, then," he observed mildly.

Omega couldn't help but grin. "Yes, I suppose I am."

"Well, let us hope your optimism proves to be reality."

She smiled somewhat sadly now as she turned back to the adapter.

Indeed, all they could do was hope.

****

The results left no room for doubt: both the blood tests and the chip scan matched the identity of one particular clone.

"Oh Force, it's him, it's really him," Omega breathed - and suddenly the dam burst.

She was weeping, sobbing so hard she could barely catch her breath, as the flood of emotions - ecstatic joy and fully realized hope and the relief of certainty, mingled with sorrow and regret for lost time - filled her to capacity and overflowed.

Tech was alive. Her brother was alive! And, all things considered, he was relatively well, and had managed to recover enough to build a life for himself. This was nothing short of a miracle.

But... he had been lost for years. He was respected here and had some caring neighbors - of course he did - but no family. And despite the life he had built, he had clearly struggled with the knowledge that there was so much he didn't remember - so many people he didn't remember.

And while she and Echo knew who he was, there was no guarantee this information would help Tech remember who he was and who had been important to him.

Forcing the flood of tears to subside with no small amount of effort, she managed to speak again. “We found him. He lived, and in this whole wide galaxy, we found him. It’s… it’s a miracle.” She actually chuckled a little. “When we help Tech get his memories back, I’m going to ask him to calculate the odds of this happening. Well, what do we…” The question died on her lips as she turned to Echo and saw the stricken look of remorse on her brother's face.

"Echo, what's wrong?" Why wasn’t he happy about this? He set his expression back into its usual stoic lines. "Nothing."

"Yeah, that’s a lie."

He shook his head. "Really it’s nothing. I'm fine."

She fixed him with a stern look. "Echo, you trusted me enough to invite me to join the Rebellion. You can tell me about this. What's wrong?”

He gave her a small smile, which softened his features just enough that she decided to stop pushing him. “Nothing is wrong. Tech is alive – this is impossibly good news.” He sighed. "Now we just have to figure out how to break this news to him.”

Omega shook her head slowly - it didn't feel right to just walk in to the shop and tell Nu that he was a deviant Fett clone named Tech. "He doesn't just want to know facts about himself. He wants to remember his family."

"It's like you said, Omega: he didn't recognize either of us."

"Well, we have changed a bit since he last saw us," she pointed out, willing herself to ignore the painful clenching in her gut that always accompanied the memory of Tech falling out of sight...

"Hmmm..." Echo rubbed his chin in thought. "Do you still have Tech's old goggles with you?"

"Of course," she said promptly. "They're in my ship, right on the piloting console. What do you have in mind?"

"If the goggles themselves aren't enough to jog his memory, ask him to help you recover the recorded data.”

She frowned. "But I already recovered... Ohhh!" she broke off, grinning as understanding dawned. "Echo, you're brilliant!"

"Well...."

"Give me a minute," she said, already picking up the devices Nu - Tech - had given her and making her way toward the ramp. "I need to ask Anton to come here to pick up the materials for the communications tap, and tell my commander I'll be on leave for a while."

"Won't your division need your help with the mission?" She could hear the frown in Echo's voice, and turned back around to face him while walking backwards off the ship.

"This was the hard part," she countered, waving the gadgets at him. "If they need my help to install this program from the safety of our own base, we're in a lot more trouble than I ever thought. I'll be right back, don't go to Tech's without me!" And with that, she ran off.

****

Echo, sitting on the narrow wooden bench set along the wall and watching Omega and Tech pull up more recordings on the holoprojector, marveled at events of the past few hours.

Somehow, the goggle suggestion had worked. Just seeing the old Clone Force 99 picture had been enough to help Tech recognize Omega, and this had been enough to open the floodgates to memories of his life before the catastrophe on Eriadu. One would think this would be overwhelming, but Tech had taken it all in stride.

Then again, this was Tech. Of course he had taken it all in stride.

Tech had asked about Hunter, Wrecker, Crosshair, Rex, Phee, Shep, Lyana, and a few others from Pabu; beyond revealing the basics regarding Crosshair's return to the family and reassuring him that everyone was safe, however, Omega had opted against inundating Tech with more details. "Let's focus on you getting your old memories back before we fill you in on the last decade," she had said; and when Echo had agreed with her, Tech hadn't argued further.

Echo now saw Omega stifling a yawn, and he leaned forward. "Omega, we've been at this for hours, and I don't think you've slept in days. Go get some rest."

Omega shook her head stubbornly, with an expression that highlighted her resemblance to her equally stubborn brothers. "I don't need..."

"Perhaps it would be best for me to take a brief respite, too," Tech put in mildly.

She sighed, relenting reluctantly. "Fine."

"There are some cushions and blankets in the other room," Tech continued. "You can rest there, if you decide against returning to your ship."

"I'll do that," she smiled brightly. "Thank you, Tech!" And she bid them good night, leaving her brothers sitting in pensive quiet.

Tech was the first to break the silence.

"Did you and Omega join the Rebellion at the same time?"

Echo shook his head. "No. I worked with a rebel cell for several years before mentioning to Omega that the Alliance needed pilots. Hunter might forgive me for that, someday," he finished gruffly.

Given Tech's small smile, Echo guessed he remembered how protective Hunter had always been of their sister, and was perhaps relieved to know that some things hadn't changed.

"Given what Omega said about your success on Tantiss, I assume you were also involved in the events that have become known as the clone rebellion,'" Tech said now.

Echo raised a brow. "How did you...?"

"Tintha may be sparsely populated and well outside the notice of the Empire, but we are not entirely cut off from news of happenings in the wider galaxy," Tech responded dryly, to which Echo chuckled. "Was Rex part of that uprising, too?"

Echo nodded, but somehow the mention of Rex and the clone rebellion brought to the surface the needling remorse he had tried to hide from Omega, and he found that he couldn't speak as several seemingly unrelated events coalesced in his mind.

Rex and Tech had been the ones to free Echo from his captivity, the first friendly faces Echo had seen upon being released from cryostasis. Tech had been the one to take the lead in convincing Hunter to allow the squad to join Echo in infiltrating Eriadu to find Hemlock's base, arguing that they didn't leave their own behind. The lesson Echo’s original squad had learned as cadets, never leave anyone behind, had become an integral part of him; and his drive to do more, to help all his clone brothers as much as he could, had led him to not only free the prisoners on Tantiss, not only help Rex save those they could from being trapped in service to the Empire, but also be a key driver in the push for clone rights that had led to a full-scale uprising.

He had done all of this for his brothers; and all the while Tech had been abandoned, left behind to recover as much as he could from a fall that had stolen his memories, left behind to fend for himself, all alone with no familiar face, no one to help remind him of who he had once been.

Echo knew his guilt was unreasonable, his shame misplaced, knew he wasn’t to blame for Tech’s loss, knew no one in the family was to blame for Tech’s loss. And yet… when Tech had fallen, they had left, they had all assumed the worst and Echo had recognized the futility of going back later to check and therefore had said nothing of it, and then they had taken Hemlock’s word for it – Hemlock, a man who had every reason to lie to them – they had just accepted his proof, no questions asked.

He knew that if he had shared these feelings with Omega, she would have pointed out that he had never and would never hold Rex culpable for assuming he was dead and moving on, especially in the middle of a combat zone; and she would have been right, which is why he hadn’t bothered telling her. Before now, he had never understood why Rex had felt any measure of guilt over Echo’s captivity – after all, it wasn’t his brothers’ fault for concluding he had died in an explosion that definitely should have killed him, and as soldiers they knew how to honor the dead while moving forward.

But all these truths were not enough for Echo to rid himself of the guilt he now felt for all Tech had suffered.

"Tech, I'm sorry."

His brother looked nonplussed. "For what?"

"For leaving you behind."

Tech blinked. "I expected nothing else." Realizing, likely from Echo being unable to hide a wince, that this remark hadn't been reassuring, Tech sighed and continued on in the tone he had always used when he was explaining something he thought should be obvious: "I fell and took the rail car with me so you all could live and escape, not so you could be captured trying to retrieve my remains."

Echo gave an involuntary shudder. "You... you really expected to die?"

"I knew it was the most likely outcome. The fact that I did survive would seem to indicate that at least one of several plans I had devised in an effort to escape the inevitable proved successful. I cannot recall what the plan was, but... perhaps that is for the best." He was quiet for a moment before regarding Echo again. "You did what I wanted you to do, Echo. You lived. You helped the others live. You ensured the risk I took was worth it. If you hadn't escaped... well, it's quite possible we wouldn't be here, together, right now."

The ghost of a smile crossed Echo's face. "Omega said she'd be asking you to calculate the odds of you surviving and us finding you."

"That's easy," Tech instantly replied. "Approaching infinity to one, against."

"I guess she's right in calling this a miracle."

"I would consider that an apt description," Tech nodded solemnly. He briefly fell silent again, before adding, "Though, considering what happened on Skako Minor, I would term it a coincidence - an unlikely one, but a coincidence nonetheless - that you in particular are the one who found me."

This observation – two clones, both presumed dead, both inexplicably surviving, each playing a significant role in finding and rescuing the other – left Echo stunned, and he was silent for some time as Tech returned his attention to the holoprojector.

Echo had once heard a Jedi say, "The Force works in mysterious ways, far beyond our ability to comprehend." Echo wasn't sure any Force was actually at work here, but he did know many occurrences in his life were far beyond his ability to comprehend, and this was one of them.

However, regardless of how circumstances had aligned this way, he found that he was grateful. Grateful that Tech had given them the chance to live, that his sacrifice hadn't been in vain. Grateful that Tech himself had survived the fall. Grateful that others - strangers - had cared for his brother enough to allow him to recover and thrive. Grateful that he, Echo, had come to Tintha to seek the services of a relatively unknown yet respected engineer. Grateful that he had heeded the feeling to probe for answers rather than convincing himself to stay silent. Grateful that Tech had wanted to remember, and now remembered. Grateful that Tech still loved them. Grateful to have Tech as his brother.

And with so much to be grateful for, he found there was very little room left for guilt.

Tech had been found, and he wouldn't be left behind again.

****

Echo had joined Omega in the other room to rest several hours ago, but Tech was still wide awake. He had long since stopped going through his own old recordings, though, opting instead to take some time to sit with the recollections he had regained thus far.

They hadn't all returned yet, but the flashes of memories he had had before, suddenly given context, now made sense, were recognizable; and the more he sat in thought, the more the details of the memories became clear and connected to other threads of memories that began to expand in their turn, bringing with them the meaning and purpose and need to know that he had been seeking for so long.

Memories, his memories, filling with light and blazing color a space in his mind that had been achingly dark for some time, filling with warmth and comfortable serenity a void in his heart that had belonged to those loved ones whose names and faces he had forgotten but now remembered with blessed clarity.

What's more, those loved ones still lived. He had calculated correctly; his gamble had paid off.

He had told Omega that knowing his name wouldn't change his nature, and he had been right. Knowing now who he had been before, he recognized that over the years since Eriadu he had somehow managed to reclaim himself, much more successfully than he might have ever hoped; on a fundamental level, he had always been himself. But hearing his name, Tech, spoken by one of those individuals whose kinship and familial love he had held most dear - not only had this been the spark that reignited his old memories, it had indeed wrought a significant change in him.

For the first time since he had woken on Eriadu, he felt whole.

#the bad batch #star wars the bad batch #tbb tech #tech lives #tbb echo #tbb omega #tbb fanfiction

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