#I seem to be in bit of a flare atm

[chronicillnesscaneffoffplease]

Tell me you have gastroparesis without telling me you have gastroparesis: I am eating salted lime jelly while cooking my soup of the week. Semi-liquids ftw.

[nickfowlerrr]

know my name

GIF by falcvns

series masterlist

pairing: soft!dark bucky barnes x single mom! reader

warnings: 18+only. past steve rogers x reader, he is no longer with us, rip 😔🙏🏻. quick mention of lee bodecker.

words: 676

notes: this has been sitting in my docs for a loooong while now. i’m thinking this could be a mini series because i’m not very attached to it atm but we’ll see where this goes!

“Is there anything else I can assist you with, Mr. Barnes?”

Your eyes flick up to meet bright blue ones as the man still stands in front of your desk.

A bit of unease begins to settle over you as he does nothing but stare for a long moment.

his gaze is bordering on penetrative the longer you hold his eye, and the apparent intimacy is just altogether unnerving.

Though, to say he’s the most off putting customer you’ve had today would be a lie.

In fact, he had been rather kind and patient as you’d helped him with his paperwork. A little quiet, but you couldn’t really say much for yourself, either. You never minded the silence, especially these past few months.

It seems the only time you get quiet these days is when you’re at work, or when James is sleeping, though that peace doesn’t come nearly as often as you wished it would.

At the thought of your baby, you break eye contact with Mr. Barnes to glance at the time. Just a few more minutes and you’d be off. As tired as you were these days, even just the thought of that chubby little face, those big gleaming eyes staring back at you with that silly little smile, made you want to get home as soon as you could.

You have been working shorter shifts since you came back to work, part time without worries thanks to the government assistance you’ve been provided along with the help your parent’s have been able to offer.

They wanted you to move back home after everything that happened, but you just couldn’t do it. Nice as it might be to have them around to look after James when you needed, paying for a sitter was well worth it knowing the anxieties and stress you’d be going through had you taken them up on moving back.

The sitter…shit. You needed to stop by the ATM on your way home today to get her money.

You clear your throat softly as you finish stapling his packet of paperwork together, ignoring the fact that he hadn’t responded to your previous question. You smiled at him as you handed the packet over, and only then did his gaze fall from your face.

“If there’s anything else, please don’t hesitate to reach out. My card is stapled right on top so if you need anything,” you trail off as he reads over the information on the business card.

“I will,” he says at last, letting his gaze float from the card, up your chest, and finally back to your eyes, “thank you.”

You feel the heat that flares across your skin from his stare but you do your best to ignore it. Again, he’s not the first one to have done the same exact thing. He was a lot less obvious with it though, especially compared to the sheriff when he’d come in this morning. The man was practically salivating all over you.

You knew this top was a bad idea but it had been your favorite before you’d gotten pregnant and you really didn’t think the difference in the way it hugged you would be that big. Unfortunately you were wrong. Your breasts were beyond full and the v neck cut alone would’ve had them on display enough, but the stressing buttons forced you to undo a few of them before they broke off completely, leaving you in an even deeper v.

Your cardigan had offered enough coverage as you kept it wrapped around you, but you couldn’t work while holding it shut the entire day.

You stood from your swiveling chair, pulling the cardigan close and tight once again as you did.

Mr. Barnes offered you a tired but true smile that you forced yourself to return once again before he turned and made his way to the exit.

You checked the time once more and seeing it was closing, you soon followed behind him, locking the door before you worked to quickly shut down for the day.

[socksandbuttons]

I HEARD WE’RE TALKING ABOUT KC USED AS CHARACTER HERE CUZ BOI FO I HAVE LOT IN MY MIND ABOUT THAT (a bit of a rant so uh yeah)

I feel like such, and I mean SUCH a wasted opportunity and potential for KC as a character. Multiple times where I felt like it just so off about how he’s been handle and how it ended. You mean to tell me, this man right here has just gotten his redemption to being good, gone for a few months away from us to see how he’s doing only for us to see one last time before he got straight kill by his own Bloody Son? I mean yeah sure, Im driven for angst but the way they did it for his death just felt not earn, i dont know how to explain it. Im glad that KC at least acknowledge about Bloodmoon’s whole issue but to just die afterwards?? And that’s it?? Yeah ok, he’s a pacifist now and a good guy, but he’s still can defend himself. Maybe came out injured from the fight but still alive. But no…. He just die. Thats it

I cant help but feel like they have been just like, throwing KC’s character around. They either dont know what to do or have other plans for him, but just the way it’s been handle it just. I dont know I gotten a whole rant about this.

I remember when they said that Moon will give KC a proper body but apparently Moon never made that happen. Now, I wanna give the showrunner the benefit of a doubt and cut them some slack cuz Im sure they have other things to do beside the show to even remember that

Idk what else to say. I know for sure there are a lot more in my mind abt this but I cant type it all out atm so take it as you will

Oh yeah no I do feel they didn't know what to do with him other than have him come in once a while and felt the death necessary rather than use him more. (The two voice actors for Sun and Moon have like three channels.) I do feel they haven't been too consistent anyway with KC (the rush of a redemption, no seeming closure for somethings, etc. I could be missing something but yeah) They could've had him for the current astral plot (Given he has star knowledge and *harnessing its power*) PLUS Earth's situation about her feelings about the Creator (I'll keep bringing it up, but Deliberately MADE to be a killing machine is right in her face. I know she has Forgor but once again her whole Need to know and uncomfortable with being out of loop. Her entire encounter with KC would be such a haze to her it'd definitely bother her enough.) KC isn't the first example of not using a character to its full (Solar Flare and Even first Bloodmoon. Literally... literally was taught magic and thats never brought up again). It's also just how numbers work on the channel too. They take most review from youtube and discord from what I understand and from what I see there is a difference with majority and what we're saying most of the time. Lunar was brought back cause he was rather popular already (also he wasn't fully killed either in the same episode).

[clarenecessities]

if you like shaky pictures of she-ra merchandise then boy do i have the post for you!

was fortunate enough to get it in the original packaging! something very..... something about 'not intended for children' here, especially since they sent them out to like, a bunch of mommy bloggers, but that's fine. that's whatever.

This little card insert came included, along with some contact information that I've redacted because god only knows what one could do with that.

The statuette is in three pieces, the base, the figure, and her arm+sword.

the pose is pretty obviously just a recreation of the illustration on the box--you can see where the translation to three dimensions fell flat (heheheh) in the hair and cape. The cape came out with more volume than the illustration, while the hair is sort of... squashed, I guess?

also. and this may be a me problem. but her limbs are skinnier than in the illustration, and I feel personally attacked by that.

The figure attaches to the base with a basic peg-in-hole situation in her left foot--it's a good fit. I had to wiggle it a little to get it loose & I didn't care for that but I expect most people aren't going to be keeping theirs in the packaging.

please ignore the kitten hair it's kind of impossible to stage anything in this house atm without it

initially I thought they'd left out the details in her crown-wing-things, but no, they're there--the lines are just very shallow. I'd say it would have benefit from some touch-ups in black but...

the details aren't great. like not terrible by any means--the sculpt is flawless, if we accept that She-Ra isn't shredded & her hair is deflating from one of its magic flares. but there's some overspill on the paint--the gold seems to have been plated on over a flesh-colored base, which left the gaps between her fingers untouched but spilled over on the top of her middle and index fingers. The runestone, too, colored outside the lines a bit, but since the etching is so shallow it's only noticeable if you really look.

is it perfect? no. but it's leagues better than the other merch imo :/ huge thank you to @n7punk for accidentally alerting me of this thing's existence in time to buy it! nobody needs to do the math on how much i spent just don't even worry about it

[dxliriumoftheendless]

tagged by @windsweptinred thank you so much for the tag!!

current time: nearly sundown !!

current mood: kinda gross bcus i’m having a flare up but apart from that SUPER EXCITED FOR SANDMAN SEASON TWO THE LEAKS ARE SOOO tho i am scared for lack of barbie ://

current activity: watching one tree hill for the first time because i seem to have seen every crap 00s teen drama apart from that

currently thinking about: barbie… god i hope they include her. this might just be the lesbian talking but a game of you is one of my favourite arcs and i’d be a bit sad if it’s never adapted

current favourite song: probably passion of lovers by bauhaus

currently reading: dune- i’m trying to read the whole series by the time the next film comes out

currently watching: one tree hill, king the land, the witcher… i have very little time for tv atm so i’ve started a few that will take me a moment to finish up

current favourite character: barbie & wanda i’m having an agoy moment

current wips: i want to make some sandman lino prints so ive ordered some stuff for that.. does that count?

tagging- @raspberryjellybrains @despairoftheendless @thesandwomen @endlessthedestiny @two-hands-toward-the-sun

[imaginespazzi]

Mystics remembered they gotta keep losing again to keep pace with LA if they wanna get that no 1 pick 😭 also, they've gotta be loving how Atlanta's going atm and potentially getting two lottery picks in next year's draft 👀

Sorry Stewie lost babes but I guess silver lining is Indy staying out of the lottery picks for now? 😅 Oh and I guess some other bit of positivity is Phee's injury not being an achilles? Such bad timing for her plantar fasciitis to be flaring up again but if they rest her for the remaining games until the All-Star break/Olympics (are you onboard with that?), then hopefully that helps get her back on track. Side note: I suppose another slight silver lining is AP getting more minutes, obviously hate it's in these circumstances though!

I would absolutely love another W vibes recap, if you feel like it! I really need to get on my zoom with keeping up with the W so that would help a whole lot haha 🙏

Also, I miss seeing Azzi play basketball so much, next season can't come fast enough (i'm not prepared for the person i'm about to be when she hits her first 3)! Seems like she's on track for that 9-month recovery huh, I do wonder how cautious they'll be with her in the first month or two. But yeah, like I think I saw you say the other day, Geno would absolutely play her 30-35 mins as soon as he's given the green light and that worries me a little ngl. I just feel like I'm gonna be holding my breath all season long, always just praying and wishing she gets through each game unscathed (it's gonna be the anxiety I felt everytime Paige (or anyone really) was on the ground a little too long but multiply that by 100 😬) 🤞🙏🕯️

-🙋‍♀️

KEEP GOING MYSTICS KEEP GOING. Y'all are going to save my girl if it's the last thing you do.

Stewie lost the minute she stepped foot in NY so a lost game doesn't even both me anymore because my biggest loss is her on that godforsaken team and no I don't care that they're off to the best start in franchise history.

YES THANK GOD. I need them to sit her down until the Olympics because if she missed that I'm jumping into the Seine or something. Also I don't wamt her playing in that all-star game fs like there's absolutely no reason for her to risk an injury during that time.

Me too babes like the highlights aren't enough, I need new live action like I miss it so much. I'm gonna sob when she hits the court and then bawl when she gets her first points. Yeah I'm really hoping they ease her into it but UConn has a tough schedule and Nov/Dec is notoriously a difficult stretch every year and I just hope they play the long game instead of risking Azzi. Honestly I watch UConn games with hands in front of my eyes cause if literally any of them stay on the ground a second too long, I stop breathing.

[chaithetics]

Bear nonnie here! how are you? how has your health been? it's been a while (forgot my tumblr password lel)

here to report that I re-read porce and the shark, iconic really. I also saw the most recent season of Fargo, which was very good, Juno temple was stellar, I reccommend (rip it tho because the coen brother's are zionists), that also send me back into my strangers thing phase #throwback, (also rip it tho because of the nasty zionist cast). I remember why Joe Keery was a crush of mine, Steve Harrington and Gator Tillman are attractive in veryyyyyy different ways.

but Arian you remain #1 in my heart

what have media have you been liking recently?

Omg hello Bear Nonnie!!! How are you? I've missed you! So great to chat with you again haha!

My health hasn't been the greatest lately, I've been having a pretty miserable lupus flare up. I've had some of the rashes as well which don't make me feel super hot honestly. I hope you've been well?! So easy to happen!

Thank you!!! I'm so glad it's holding up haha, I need to finish some more pieces for that series. I have so many ideas and characters I want to write for atm, it's tough trying to balance it all with the rest of adulting.

Juno Temple has great comedic timing, I've only seen the Fargo film but I saw a clip of her accent and I was so surprised at how good it was. I didn't know that about the Coen brothers, that's so disappointing, I know Joel Coen signed the open letter supporting Jonathan Glazer's speech at the oscars. So hopefully that means he's re-evaluated, reflected on earlier comments and taken time to educate himself more on what's happening and has been been happening since the Nakba. Ethan Coen didn't sign that letter though. I'm not really a Coen brothers stan, I've only seen a couple of projects of theirs but it's still always disappointing to know that there's other human beings with awful, zionist beliefs. Especially when they're people with platforms most of us don't have. Joe Keery's character in Fargo does seem verrrryyy different for him!

Arian is our number one man! That's not a phone in his pocket, it's my heart!

I recently finished Fallout! I really enjoyed it! I love Ella Purnell and it was so cool to see Moisés Arias in a big project like this after watching Hannah Montana as a kid. I really enjoyed the story, all the social commentary, and the characters. I really want to write some fics for Lucy, Norm, and Maximus! ALSO MAX'S ACTOR IS GIVING YOUNG DENZEL WASHINGTON?!?!?!?! Somebody PLEASE beg me to write some fallout fics so I feel like I can procrastinate with that!

Other than that I've mainly been watching films! I watched Ava DuVernay's latest film 'Origin' last week. It had your fav Jon Bernthal in it! He played a very sweet wholesome guy! I enjoyed the film, I think there were a few holes in it/the thesis but it was an ambitious experiment. I really loved Monkey Man with Dev Patel! Seeing all the hype and love he's getting is making me very happy. I saw Skins way too young... I saw Past Lives and American Fiction for the first time recently and really enjoyed them as well. My friend and I are trying to see Challengers and Abigail at the cinemas but the times aren't lining up. I've been doing a bit of an Oscar Isaac marathon as well. I've been trying to get my book reading up and more 'international' cinema! What media have you been consuming since you sent this in? I'm so stoked for The Bear S3! I think we're getting it next month sometime?

Absolutely adore you Bear Nonnie! Hope you're having the best day! I always enjoy replying to your asks. Send another one in when you get a chance and I'm always happy to message about films! ❤️❤️❤️

(Someone please tell me to write Fallout fanfic now pls)

[phefics]

Hey darling! Love how you write the hg boys. I was thinking maybe you could write something comforting with how they would react to a reader with PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome). I’m diagnosed and lemme tell ya it’s no joke. Your in chronic pain almost all of the time when you eat, turn a certain way, when you use the bathroom, even if you walk around for a bit too long. Almost anything can cause a flare up and when the cysts burst… my god I feel like I’m going into labor and I get full body shake. If you do write it feel free to reach out for more into on the matter. I know from personal experience how tough the condition can be. Sending all the lovins!!! ~Jazz🥰💋❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

hi sweetheart tysm for the ask!! i’m so sorry this is something you’re going through, i know ppl with this disorder and it seems so hard, my heart goes out to you❤️❤️❤️

unfortunately i don’t think i’m well-educated enough on the topic to write this, and i’m also currently trying to take a break from writing the hunger games boys hcs to avoid burnout.

i hope someone else is able to write this for you, i’m so sorry i’m not up to it atm❤️❤️❤️

[agl03]

FANDOM MAMA! I need a nice calm down, its going to be okay, and grief session post from you from Secret Invasion! It came out of no where!

Hi Anon,

Just finished watching myself and yeah there are feelings but per usual my mind is spinning and its time to bust out the cork board. Since this heads into a new fandom where I'm not known for spoilers we are going under the line. Just like the early AOS days, awww.

I don't know how much help i can be. That was definitely a heart wrenching way of kicking off the Season in a big way and show they mean business.

Maria was definitely on my list of not going to make it overall, but I didn't think it would be Episode one. From the previews she seemed like so much more of a player over all and I want to think they'd give her a bigger bang of a send off. Though it has a bit of the Coulson shock value flare to it.

SO

That has my theory addled don't trust freaking anything brain entertaining that might not have been the end of her.

She seemed indeed human. The deaths of the Conspiracy Agent and hers were very similar, same weapon, same lingering shot. In both cases the bodies were left behind. Meaning anyone (cough Skrulls cough) could pick them up. The Skrulls may have the ability to heal them or the weapon was meant to make it look like they died. Meaning she could be used as shell or popped into those fancy pods to get the information and memories. Maria has a dangerous amount of information that is trouble for a lot of people in the hands of the wrong person.

Then I was thinking that in the chaos of everyone running in all directions, explosions, Maria was nabbed in the choas, and a double took the hit. They made a point of showing how fast they changed their looks, it just took a second out of sight. We saw Skrulls will revert to their true form after they die, but they can also take quite a bit of damage, that shot may have been nothing for who was impersonating her so Fury thinks she's dead.

Her returning at a peak moment when we are in the middle of not trusting anyone on the screen would make things ever so complicated. There is no way Fury would trust her, even if it was indeed the real Maria miraculously back because he watched her die.

There are lots of places they could take her with her clearance that could do some serious damage. If Fury doesn't get the word out, Rhodes for example could agree to meet her and walk in a trap. Though he is on the not trust list at the moment too. Basically everyone is currently on the not to trust list ATM.

Plus we don't know where Ross is, is he in one of those fancy pods and his image/knowledge being used. Or is he off hiding elsewhere.

But even if we see her again no matter what it could be the end for her and I have very little hope of her making it through...there is a small bit there though.

For the AOS fans reading this, buckle up we have got Season 4B nightmare situation. At least in 4B we had a finite number of suspects, now its any number of new and old faces that could be in the mix. Heck, the same face might not be safe with one being good and one being a evil Skrull.

The feel I get from this series is someone's story is coming to and end, Maria and Fury are some of the last of the OG's left. So like we've seen in a lot of the recent movies, a torch will be passed one way or another.

For now, hang tight, it will be okay, and know we are in for quite the ride!

[yorkin-it]

SPOILERS FOR EP 1119 UNDER CUT

OH MY GODDDDDDD???????? THIS EPISODE WAS SO GOOD. WE GOT SO MUCH MORE OF IM'S VOICE I LOVE IT SO MUCHHHHHHHHH

after hearing alot of words in their voice it defiently seems alot more filtered n deep than i initially thought but i literally dont care even a little bit THEY SOUND SO SCARY. AND COOL. AND HOT. WHO SAID THAT. ANYWAYS THEIR FREAKIN. TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE?? AND ALSO THE ELDERS???? ok i knowwwwww i knowwww the anime doesnt have true ruling over whats canon n whats not, only oda has that but like. at LEAST in the case of the elders that did not look like a typical zoan transformation THAT SHIT WAS FREAKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the way their bodies just like goo'd then snapped into form???? the instantaneous nature of it almost reminds me of how momo w/ the smile fruit transforms.

like i said its probably just flare and means nothing but hrrmmmm still fun to think abt hee hee

anyways this episode ruled so hard 😭 like. i'm still stunned by Im's voice work its so cool. specifically the line deliveries on "d" and when theyre getting surprise attacked are SO. GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE FUCKING VENOM IN THEIR VOICE. OH I JUST KNOW THEYRE A HATEFUL LITTLE (read: massive) BASTARD. HEHEHEHE I LOVE THEM 😊🥰

i need to go over all the lines said in the anime and compare to the manga bc atleast w/ the tcb versions (cant afford a viz subscription n i dont have screenshots of the official dialogues </3) that there are a few wording differences. also they took out the third person speaking which is sad 😔 hopefully it comes back in the dub i love that they use Mu for themself. maybe its still there in the voice work i gotta actually pay full attention next time. also gotta look at their body/face language a bit too. i'm gonna refer mostly to the manga for that (i think the manga does their expressions a bit better. you can glean more emotion imo) but i am very captivated by the little eye widen when they heard cobra say "d", thats really interesting bc i didnt expect that!

like huh! they seemed alot more surprised than i thought. my hc/theory/whatever atm is that i assume they like 100% figured that lili was a d. like absolutely. but never had confirmation from lili herself. and ik anime doesnt equal canon necessarily BUT interesting nonetheless.

but SPEAKING OF THEORY/HEADCANON!!!!!!!!!!! ohhh.. oh Im transformation you have blessed me on this day.... NOT ONLY WAS I RIGHT THAT THEY COULD TRANSFORM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THAT THEY WERE THE ONE AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they also look like they have little (read again: massive) salamander/lizard hands which i have in my transformed Im design hehe so win for me 😊 they looked so cutiemode (genuinely horrifying) i wanna soak them in milk and throw them at a wall plushie style.

anyways 100/10 episode love the like 5 straight minutes of yearning Im did for lili theyre the exes of all time. generational breakup. also wapol (my goat) was very funny. will be looping Im's voice and treating it as asmr. see you all next week for more Im-posting, thank you and goot night 😌🙏💞

[live-love-laugh-lesbian]

OMG hiiii dw abt it at all! your answer is long enough and im so sorry :( i hope you feel better now/soon!!

thank youu omg well im in my first year so we do a bit of everything! some coding like coding websites and stuff and some written computer problems as well! (i would explain but it's kinda hard to and i suck at explaining so asdhkjasdhjh) its a bit of everything! programming (practical) and theory!

ahsdjkahsdkj owning two trousers is so real lmao i think i only own one pair ajskldsjad and they are flared so not fit for all weathers ajksdhkjsah they sound sooo cute! if you wouldnt mind sharing them, i'd love to see them! but thats totally up to you! i dont want to make you uncomfortable at all so the choice is yours! im just a lil nosy hehe

omg same when i was a kid i once ate like an entire chocolate egg in a day! the time after that was hell i was sooo sick but its worthh itttttt and yes exactly!! like whenever i was young i had school assemblies and they were all like 'i dont play to draw i play to win' and like yeah so real! as long as no ones too mean and harsh while being competitive then go nuts! i love a little competition!! stardew valley is more of like a relaxing game for me! also animal crossing but like i get so frustrated when i cant catch a fish asjkdhaskj fishing is HELLLLLL in animal crossing alksdjlksj

awww thank youu! your hair sounds beautiful the compliments are most definitely soo valid! my hair never reached that point when i was young tho bc its like SOOOO frizzy and fluffy it almost grows outwards rather than down askjdhkasjh so it was always kinda short and super fluffy ajsdskjh

i think stuff abt the modern day world i really hate is that almost everyones so pretentious nowadays like you see someone and youre like oh theyre nice speaking out abt this and turns out that its all hypocritical and shit but also that feels like its not exactly modern? so ill give another answer and that is INFLATION! everything nowadays is soooo expensive oh my god! and yes governments is so reall

hmm, smth in the next five years... this is sooo not related at all and im totally twisting the meaning of your question but my online friends ajsdhkajsdh okay but serious answer? i wish to see less labour! like yk sites that use fast fashion and stuff that force labour onto people and children and i want that to be addressed and reduced bc like. no. labour is bad how is it acceptable for people to pay such horrible wages to their workers who make them so much money!! that feels so cruel! what about you?

and my question for you: what is something in/from a person that makes them absolutely unacceptable in your eyes? (i dont think that makes sense lmao) basically if you were friends w someone, whats one thing they could do to make you immediately see them as a red flag or like not like them/block them immediately (apart from them saying the r word!)

byee have an awesome day!

-swiftie spring exchange anon!

Hello again! I am doing better atm - I've basically had like, one long bug for three weeks, and like...I'd start feeling better. Go to work. Get worse from the exertion. Have to miss work. Get better slightly, so go to work...yeah XD I do seem to be on the mend now, I've just got a bit of residual pain and cough, and some of my underlying issues are being a bit unpleasant. But I'm taking it XD I had to take almost a week off work last week but I think the prolonged rest helped.

And hey that sounds really cool though!! So guessing you're in uni then? How's that going? Where I am it's starting to come up to exam season, so the people that I know are in uni at the moment are all quite stressed, bless them.

I don't mind showing you them like, privately, but due to my style being quite...unique (by courtsey of making a lot of it) I try to keep it off public tumblr to some extent, just because anyone who knows me would know immediately this was me. Tbh it's not a big deal if they did, but since I work with kids I feel the need to be more careful with social media these days.

And ok but see, I have very straight hair, and I've always wanted frizzy/fluffy hair!! Sometimes I fear we just want what we don't have XD

I think the hypocrisy is related to the modern world however! Social media kinda encourages a very black and white thinking of things, and most things are not so black and white (I mean like, obviously if someone's like. "Haha, I want to murder babies"...that's not a black and white issue. But you get me XD) So you end up with people being like "x is always bad". Then they'll later be like..."this thing that's basically x is fine"?

Inflation is SHIT. Look when I moved into my current place my phone bill was exactly 10 quid a month. It's not like 13 something!! It's not the biggest hike, my energy bill has freaking doubled, but by nature of it starting at a solid 10 I can see the inflation so much easier. It's a 30% increase!!

And see I am very lucky, I have seen a few online friends! My gf and I met through tumblr, and I've got two close friends that by thankful virtue of being in the same country I've been able to meet quite a few times...I met one who I've since lost contact with sadly, but I'm hoping to meet a couple more! OH and one is in a ldr with one of my close friends so I'll see her when she comes here (well I should do) but idk when that would be yet.

And look I have SO many fast fashion complaints. A big reason why I do so much thrifting and sewing is because I just hate fast fashion. I know it's sorta popular in some circles to talk about the shit quality, but it's shit because companies are paying people like a penny a piece for it -.- I refuse to use places like shein and temu...

I think in the next five years...generally I'm wanting to see a shift in climate change. I have a lot of climate anxiety, and I'm hoping that we start getting actual change in how politicians and companies approach the issues?? I want more eco changes. More bikes, cheaper plant based food, less fossil fuels, etc...I also want my government to stop making life harder for no reason. They recently decided people who have visas to work in the care industry over here can't have their kids come from overseas too?? Like there are people who now have their kids in other countries cause of this shit??? If they're working here, they deserve their kids to be here. How is that not the default idea!!

Less generally, I'm hoping to see improvements in my personal life XD I want to see a couple doctors to get some shit sorted out, and I want to improve my art further, and sort out where exactly I'm going with my career.

And nah that makes perfect sense! Honestly I'm a bit of a pushover, I'll take a lot from people. I think mainly the things that will really make me go. Hm. I mean, if you're outright a really terrible person (like if you told me you murder babies for fun, to use my "terrible person" example from above XD) I'm not gonna be interested in talking to you, but that's kinda obvious. But I think the things that make me go "red flag" are usually more personal things based on past experience. For example, I knew someone once who would move my mobility aids away from me, and I'd be like...right well I can't. Move now. Please give them back. And they're one of the few people I've cut contact with. But tbh I feel like I probably need more boundaries, I just get like...what if I'm being too harsh on this person XD

What about you tho??

See you again soon, hope your day has been well when you see this!!

EDIT: I forgot to ask a question back!! D: If you could make one trivial change to the world what would it be? Has to be something small, like...renaming strawberries to be fluffleberries, or making bananas rainbow XD

[surviving-the-semester]

My back is flaring and the pain is intense. But since I started this semester with such low oxygen and dismissing the first class early, I need to manage perpectives/image with students and others. So I need to go to campus today and present as if every movement isn't a ridiculous amount of pain.

I can walk without a cane atm, the issue seems to be flaring up the spine instead of down the spine. So while walking does hurt a bit more than normal, its not as impaired as some past flares have caused. It's more an issue to carry things and moving my neck, shoulders, and arms.

I'm borrowing Trev's rolling backpack. I can probably manage to get things out of it or ask a student to under the guise of helping me distribute stuff. It should be fine and hopefully it stops soon.

[nephiliam]

christ i guess its gonna be one of those days. huh?

[norree]

update (health + art)

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't been around as much lately. Between health issues, art block, and coursework, I haven't been doing art this month. A current hurdle is that I've always used Photoshop for digital art, but as of this month I no longer have it. I had been paying for a student subscription, but that only lasts so long and it turns out the last few months they had been charging for the non student price, and I can't seem to change it back. The normal subscription price is too expensive so...I'm trying to find a photoshop alternative right now. Photoshop is the only digital art program I've used since 2009, so I'm nervous about the situation. :< Hopefully it works out okay. My health is usually a complicated situation, but lately it's been worse. (TW and possibly TMI but I need to rant about this a bit somewhere) Likely due to my PCOS, I am having menorrhagia. I had it in 2019 and had to get emergency medication due to losing too much blood. I hadn't had it since but I'm having it again right now and it's really difficult. I feel like I can't do anything. On top of that it makes my IBS worse, which is already bad to begin with, and these two issues combined are like a domino effect on my health. It makes my anxiety + depression worse, and the demands of IBS + menorrhagia is really overwhelming for me as an autistic person. I feel so defeated and exhausted just from trying to take care of my body. Having chronic health conditions is always difficult, but when they all flare up at once it's indescribable. I feel like I just want to go into hibernation and wake up when it stops. Thankfully I'm still doing remote learning for my university so I don't have to go anywhere atm. The only work I can do right now are commissions, but without a drawing program I feel stuck. >_< Hopefully things will get better soon, thank you everyone for being patient with my art output~

[effervescentdragon]

So here's the one scene I wrote and atm I'm writing down my HCs for this AU. I may write something more at some point but honestly, there is so much goi g on in my life, and I'm stuck in a writing limbo, I refuse to put pressure on myself anymore. I do want to share this, bcs I like it, and it made me happy and soft. So. I hope you like it, and if it develops into an actual fic, I'll let you know :)

RUSSINGON A:TLA AU

The sunset was beautiful. The pale yellow, almost white of the sun was slowly turning into oranges and reds and going towards the horizon. 

"Look," Finno whispered beside him. Maitimo turned to where Finno was pointing, and did a double take.

"The moon," he whispered, incredulous. And indeed, there it was. The moon was almost translucent against the background of the pale blue sky, but it was unmistakably there.

He turned to Finno, whose eyes were glistening with happiness and whose face was so lovely in the glow of the waning sun. 

You're so beautiful, Russo thought, but would never say. He couldn't. He shouldn't. Not after everything that's happened.

The fire in him burned slowly, and he knew his power would diminish soon with the disappearing sun. Just as his would grow, Russo thought, and then he smiled.

"C'mon," he said, offering his hand to Finno. Then he realized what he'd done and faltered a bit, but Finno didn't seem to mind. He just smiled, a bit confused, and took Russo's hand.

The fire inside Russo flared, and he had to breathe deep for a moment, so as not to combust. He tugged on Finno's hand and led him out to the roof.

The sun was closer to the horizon when they arrived on the roof, and Russo let go of Finno's hand. "Wait here," he said. "I'll be right back." Finno opened his mouth to say something, but Russo was already running down the stairs in a hurry.

I can do this for him, Russo thought as he entered the kitchen. If I can do nothing else, I can do this, he thought, checking the time. The servants were away on their half-day off, and his parents and brothers weren't to come back for another two days. We are safe now, as safe as we can be, and I can do this for him, Russo thought as he raced back.

When he got to the roof, Finno was staring at the sky with a forlorn expression. Russo took a moment to just watch him, watch his lovely, expressive face, his dark hair twisted with braids of gold, the line of his neck disapoearing into his robes. He just watched, and memorised as much as he could, because it would have to be enough, since he would never get to touch. Knowing every curve of Finno's face by heart would have to be enough.

But they were running out of time. The patrols would start in some half hour, the army searching for other benders whose powers get stronger with the moon. If Russo wanted to do this, he had to hurry.

"Finno," he said, and when Finno turned towards him, Russo extended his hands. In them, he held two glasses of water full to the brim. 

Finno's eyes widened, and his hands were trembling. Russo hurried to reassure him.

"The servants have a day off, the patrols don't start till half an hour from now, and the first one passes our estate ten minutes after they start. There's nobody here, since my family is supposed to come back in two days from the Capital. We're safe, and nobody will see you, if you want to practice."

Finno said nothing, he just kept staring at Russo. Feeling embarrassed, Russo kept talking.

"If you don't, I understand, I just thought- well, I mean, I wanted to give you the option, because we've been with people constantly, and you couldn't- and I know how it feels when I don't use my firebending for a couple of days, so I just thought it'd be nice for you?"

Finno wasn't moving. Russo lowered his head and his voice both.

"I know the moon isn't full, and sun's still up so your power won't be as it should be, but I just thought you may want to- and I'm sorry because I know the ocean is right there and you can't bend that because they'll catch you, and this is a poor replacement but- I'm sorry, I just thought-" Russo said, and he would've gone on like that, apologizing for everything, because he knew how much he was responsible for, if a finger didn't cover his lips.

He looked up, startled, and Finno was right there in front of him, close enough for Russo to see the specks of blue and green in his eyes, and the tiny scar by his eyebrow, and Russo shut up because he could feel Finno's skin on his lips and Oh, oh, that's… oh. 

"Russo," Finno whispered, and Finno never called him Russo, not anymore, so it was bittersweet heartbreak to hear it. "Russo, you did this for me?" Finno asked, and his eyes were starlight, and Russo just nodded, feeling his cheeks flush and his fire soar. Finno smiled then, teeth flashing behind rose lips, the dimples in his cheeks showing, and Russo wanted to be the reason Finno smiled like that every single day of their lives. 

He couldn't. He never could be that. Too much pain has been caused by him and his family, too much blood has been spilt and too much was still being spilt for Russo to delude himself. He wouldn't get the happy ending he wished for. But he can make Finno happy, if even for a moment. 

"Thank you," Finno said, lowering his finger. Russo's lips felt cold, but he smiled, because Finno was smiling, and Finno was beautiful, and they were running out of time but he wanted Finno to have at least this.

"Don't thank me," Russo whispered. "It's nothing. You deserve so much- you deserve everything," Russo said, flushed, and then thrust the glasses towards Finno without looking, because he didn't want to see Finno's reaction to his unwanted blunder. "There isn't much time. I'll keep watch," he said.

Finno looked like he wanted to say something, but then his gaze fell upon the glasses of water. He looked around, and satisfied that they were indeed alone, he grinned at Russo one final time and raised his hands.

The water flew from the glasses in Russo's hands in graceful arcs and came together in a shimmering curtain. Russo was mesmerised as he watched Finno move, flawless as the water was flawless, elegant as the water was elegant, power emanating from his every move. His limbs twisted and danced, and water rose in arcs and fell in waves, and Russo wanted to see, more than anything  what it would look if it were the ocean Finno was moving, and not two small glasses worth of water. 

I'll make that possible for you, Russo thought as he watched the water vortex Finno made in the air. If I have to die for it, I'll make it so you can bend the ocean to your will, beloved, he promised under the paleness of the sun which gave way to the ethereal light of the moon. I promise, my love, I'll make it so you never have to hide again, he vowed, and smiled, and watched the waterbender he loved manipulate his element with ease and beauty, stealing another piece of his heart with every one of his moves. 

[smilingperformer]

Ok but I need to talk about JN108 a bit more, under the cut!

I am not gonna lie, I had quite a laughing episode after the episode because I just fricking knew that they wouldn't show Satoshi Gekkouga or even hint at the form, they even made sure that a flashback that included ALAN and his MEGA CHARIZARD-X didn't have Satoshi Gekkouga like, wtf sjhfgsfhsgfsf.

Say what you will, that IS a retcon. Indirect one at least. Because the flashback to specific event involving Satoshi Gekkouga doesn't involve it. They specifically avoided even mentioning it. They even had Satoshi do Satoshi-Gekkouga like bond movements WITHOUT the form! THAT NEVER HAPPENED! It always needed the form. Semi-perfect or perfect. A normal Gekkouga was never enough lol. It probably can be explained as their bond being stronger than ever but ajfsljfssfklsf. Nah.

I'm glad that it ended up that way thou, because now Lucario won't have anime-only form to follow up on Gekkouga. Like, phew. It did seem like Satoshi did indeed compare the bond he has with Gekkouga feeling like the bond he currently has with Lucario, so the similarity to aura is somewhat confirmed? Not directly, but strongly suggested. Makes me happy!

But like.... hm. I liked everything that involved Gekkouga. He felt like who he was, and his bond with Satoshi was super nostalgic. But Lucario indeed felt like a jealous puppy who was annoyed at Satoshi having someone who's bond is stronger than his lol. Or that he was weaker than Gekkouga. Really thou, I just kinda flashbacked to Pikachu and Wanpachi asfkjshfsjklsf. JN, stop doing jealousy plots. Please.

Luckily it didn't last long and there was a... weird scene between the two were they just, practiced moving water by an inch. I have no fricking idea what that was. Focusing practice? But like, even if Satoshi's Lucario is my least fav atm (and I hate that y'know), Gekkouga's mentoring with him was kinda nice.

But.... where's Puni-chan. No fricking mention of Puni-chan 😂 Gekkouga is just cutting weeds and never free from that job like, c'mooooooon. My dream episode plot was for Puni-chan and Gekkouga to return together and for this negative weed plot to end but nooo. Not allowed it seems. Fricking hell lol.

But cough. I may sound like I'm critisizing the ep a lot, but I actually enjoyed it still. It was VERY fanservice-y with the flashbacks and Gekkouga moments (except for Satoshi-Gekkouga semi-retcon cough) and I had fun time. I liked how Satoshi chose to go see Gekkouga at the sight of seeing Gou's Keromatsu evolve, like he got nostalgic at seeing Gekkouga again.

Koharu also had the best face, like:

*stare*

How can you not like Koharu when she has the best faces in the whole show ajhsgfhfgsfhgsf.

(Also that's a perfect meme format-)

Anyway. Those are my longer thoughts before subs. Thou I checked with others on stuff like if Satoshi Gekkouga was mentioned at all. And it wasn't. :--D Gosh do I hate being right on that. Even my twitter poll that I did before ending up becoming less active feels sad now:

Oh you sweet dear buffoons~

So yeh.

I don't care about next ep one bit, I don't like how Kibana is depicted to be so serious when he's, really not. Then again, this series did a bad job at showcasing Galar to its full potential so I don't care lol.

PS: even if Gekkouga somehow had another ep later on his Satoshi-Gekkouga form is STILL, as of now, semi-retconned out of existance. Just like JN103-JN104 pretended that Serena didn't exist. That's just bad build-up writing. For real.

Anyway. That's all I gotta say on this ep. Toodles!

Edit: Oh yeh, the ep had tons of callbacks to flare arc somehow, so that was fun!