#I say Loki is often an exception because there are a few too many cases of 'i'm not attracted to men except for Loki' and 'ace unless Loki'

[worstloki]

Ok, am I fictionsexual *if that's spelt correctly* if I only feel any romantic/sexual attraction towards Loki but literally only Loki and no other fictional character/s does anything for me?

okay, so, anon, this may sound strange but Loki tends to confuse a lot of people and ends up being an exception, which is why I would say it’s your choice if you wish to identify as fictosexual/fictionsexual. It could be possible that you’ve explored the character more than others or you sympathize/empathize or that’s just your type or some other reason which is fine too, but yes you would still come under asexual and then proculsexual and then more specifically fictionsexual even if you only feel any romantic/sexual attraction for the one person :)

[therealvinelle]

I've always wondered this, but what do you think the Cullen's political viewpoints would be, given their individual backgrounds? if vampires don't change after they turn, then surely they would all be extremely racist (especially Jasper). would this not come up at some point? they aren't like the Volturi because the Volturi are too old to care, but the Cullens are young enough that they have been brought up with opinions on stuff like sexism, racism, homophobia and the like.

Oh fuck.

You get an early answer because otherwise I'll just chicken out and delete this one, pretend I never saw it.

UMMM.

Since I'm guessing you meant American political viewpoints, we need a disclaimer. I am not American, and not too knowledgeable about your politics. Not just in the sense that I don't follow the day-to-day drama, but as I am not an American citizen there are several things I don't know, can't know because I've never lived in your country and therefore can't know what the effects of living in a country ruled by American policies is like. What I do know is based off of the news in the foreign section, social media (by which I mean tumblr posts), and Trevor Noah's Daily Show.

I am an outsider looking in.

Which is really rather appropriate, since the Cullens are too.

The Cullens go to high school and college, Carlisle works, they pay taxes, they own real estate, and submerge themselves in American culture. Esme, Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, and Bella are young enough that this is in many ways their world, and apart from timeouts they've more or less spent their entire lives, human and vampire, integrated into American society.

Not fully integrated, mind you, they do what they need to to fit in and get to school or, in Carlisle’s case, to work. They go no further. No extra-curriculars for the kids, no book clubs for Esme, no game nights for Carlisle. They walk parallel to humans, not among us.

In addition to this they're obscenely rich, which puts them another thousand miles from the experiences of your average American. They won't deal with the health system, which means healthcare is a non-issue, they're not going to need welfare or other social programs, unemployment is another non-issue. Name your issue, and the Cullens don't have personal stake in it. Even the climate crisis won't be a problem for them the way it will for us.

What I'm trying to say is, American political issues are a concept to them, not a lived reality. Just like they are for me. So hey, you made a great choice of blog to ask.

I'll also add here that you say the Volturi are too old to care, and I agree- from an ancient's point of view, racism is a matter of "which ethnicity are we hating today?", and it all looks rather arbitrary after a while. Same with every other issue - after a while it all just blends together into "what are the humans fighting over today? Which Christian denomination is the correct one? Huh. Good for them, I guess."

I can't put it any better than this post did, really. The Volturi are real people, humans are nerds and tumblr having Loki discourse. Aro thinks it's delightful and knows entirely too much about Watergate (and let's be real, Loki discourse as well), but the point I wanted to get at is that politics really don't matter to vampires.

And I don't think they matter to the Cullens either.

So, moving on to the next point while regretting I didn't put headlines in this post, I'll just state that I don't think vampires' minds are frozen. Their brains are unable to develop further, and they can never forget anything, but... well, this isn't the post for that, but in order for this to be true of vampires they would barely be sentient. They would not be able to process new impressions, to learn new things, nor to have an independent thought process. Yes, we see vampires in-universe (namely, Edward, who romanticizes himself and vampires) believe they're frozen and can never change, but there is no indication that this is a widespread belief, or even true. Quite the contrary - Carlisle went from a preacher's son who wanted to burn all the demons to living in Demon Capital for decades and then becoming a doctor and making a whole family of demons. Clearly, the guy has had a change in attitude over the years. Jasper, in his years as a newborn army general, slowly grew disenchanted with his life and developed depression. James initially meant to kill Victoria and hunted her across the earth, then became fascinated and changed his mind about it.

Had these people been incapable of change, Carlisle would still be hating demons, Jasper would be in Maria's army, and James would still be hunting Victoria.

It goes to follow, then, that they are able to adapt to new things.

The question is, would they?

Here I finally answer your question.

So, we have these people who don't really have any kind of stake in politics, who keep up to date all the same (or are forcibly kept up to date because high school) and are generally opinionated people.

Where do they then fall, politically?

(And this is where you might want to stop reading, anon, because I'm about to eviscerate these people.)

Alice votes for whoever's gonna win. She also makes a fortune off of betting each election. Trump's 1 to 10 victory in 2016 was a great day to be Alice. MAGA!

The actual policies involved are completely irrelevant, she does this because it's fun. Election means she gets to throw parties. Color coded parties for the Republican and Democratic primaries, and US-themed parties for Election Night! (Foreigner moment right here: I at first wrote "Election wake" before realizing that's not what y'all murricans call it.)

Alice loves politics. Doesn't know the issues, but she sure loves politics.

Bella votes Democrat. She actually knows about the issues, and cares about them. This girl is a Democrat through and through.

Carlisle doesn't vote. I can't imagine it feels right. Outside of faked papers he's not a US citizen, this is meddling in human affairs that he knows don't concern him.

More, this guy has never lived in a democracy.

In life, Carlisle lived under an absolute monarchy that, upon civil war, became an absolute theocracy. From there he learned that vampires live under a total dictatorship.

For the first 150 years of his life, democracy was that funky thing the Athenians did in history books thousands of years ago, no more relevant to him than the Ancient Egyptian monarchy is to me. Then the Americans, and later other European countries started doing this.

Good for them.

There's this mistake often made by those who view history from a... for lack of a better term, a solipsistic standpoint. A belief that the present day is the culmination of all of history. “My society is the best society, the most reasonable society; all the others had it backwards. Thank god we’re living in this enlightened age!”

The faith in our current system of government is one such belief. We (pardon me if this doesn’t apply to everybody reading this post) have grown up in democracies, being told this is the ultimate form of rule, and perhaps that is true - but remember the kings who have told their subjects they had were divine and the best possible ruler based on that. Remember also that most modern democracies haven’t actually been democracies for very long at all, America is the longest standing at some 230 years (not long at all in the grand scope of things) and they have a fracturing two-party system to show for it.

Every society, ever, has been told they’re the greatest, and their system of government the most just. Democracy is only the latest hit.

This is relevant to Carlisle because he’s immortal and decidedly not modern. Democracy has not been installed in him the way it was the rest of the Cullens, Jasper included. To him- well, it’s just not his world. He has no stakes in our human politics, and as he is older than every current democracy and has seen quite a few of them fall, he’s not going to internalize the democratic form of rule the way a modern human has.

I think the concept of voting is foreign to him.

It requires a level of participation in human society that he’s simply not at. He does the bare minimum to appear human so he do the work he loves, but nothing more, and I find that telling.

As it is I think he'd be iffy about his family doing it. He won’t stop them, but in voting they’re... well it’s kind of cheating. They’re not really citizens, none of this will affect them, and by voting they’re drowning out the votes of real human voters. He does not approve.

Edward votes Democrat. He's... well he’s the kind of guy who will oil a girl’s bedroom window so he can more easily watch her sleep without being discovered, justifying it to himself as being okay because if she were to tell him to get lost he’d stop immediately. Same guy is so sure that he’d leave and never return again if she wanted him to, except this is the man who returned to Forks to hang around his singer, knowing there was a significant chance he might kill her. To say nothing of his Madonna/Whore complex, or of the fact that he tried to pimp out his wife twice, and was willing to forcibly abort her child.

This guy is very much in love with chivalry, with being an enlightened and feminist man who supports and respects women, while not understanding the entire point of feminism, which is female liberation.

He votes Democrat because he’s such an enlightened feminist who cares about women’s rights.

Emmett doesn’t care to vote, but if he has to he votes Republican. The guy is from the 1930′s, and has major would-be-the-uncle-who-cracks-racist-jokes-if-he-was-older vibes.

Esme doesn’t vote, that would require getting out of the house.

More, I just... can’t see it. I can’t see her being one to read up on politics and The Issues, period, but if she has to then I doubt she’d be able to decide.

Jasper doesn’t vote. Alice can have her fun, he does not care.

There’s also the whole can of worms regarding the last time he went to bat for American politics.

I imagine he stays out of this.

Renesmée doesn't vote. She has no stock in the human affairs. Who would she vote for, on what grounds? When Bella tries to pull her to the urns, she points out that she's three years old.

Rosalie, guys, I’m sorry, but that girl is definitely gonna vote Republican. Perhaps not right now as it’s become the Trump party of insanity, but the Mitt Romney type of Republicans? Oh yes.

And for the record, yes I imagine she does vote. To step back from politics would be another way she was relinquishing her humanity, and that’s not allowed to happen. So, yes, she goes to the urns, less for the sake of the politics involved and more because like this, she’s still a part of society in some way.

Now, onto why I think she’s Republican, I think it’s both fiscal and social.

This girl was the daughter of a banker who somehow profited off of the Depression, and who then became part of a family with no material needs that would soon become billionaires thanks to Alice. Poverty to Rosalie is a non-issue, as it is I imagine she views it as a much lesser issue than what she’s had to deal with. The humans can pull themselves up by their bootstraps, Rosalie’s infertility is forever.

Rosalie’s empathy is strongest when she’s able to project onto others, and she won’t be able to project onto the less fortunate at all.

Then there’s the fact that the Republican party is all about traditional family values, and pro-life.

Rosalie, a woman from the 1930′s who idolizes her human life and who‘d love nothing more than to get to live out this fantasy, is down for that. And as of Breaking Dawn she’s vocally pro-life, so there’s that.

This all being said I don’t think Rosalie cares to sit down and fully understand these politics she’s voting for, the possible impact they’ll have- that’s not important. What’s important is what voting does for her.

TL;DR: I bet anon regrets asking.

[otterskin]

Hi there Otterskin, sorry to barge into your inbox like this but I just read your post on the latest episode and wanted to voice my agreement! I've tried putting my feelings about this episode into words before but could never put my finger on what exactly bothered me about it until I read your post. For me, the episode felt rushed and I came away from it with a feeling that the story they're trying to tell is far too big for a 6-episode show, and now they're cramming as much as they can into each episode and instead of building up the universe and the relationships between the characters they simply info dump on the audience. It felt that way especially in the scene where Mobius confronts Loki about Sylvie. He had to explain, to the audience, what's going on with Loki and Slyvie because the show never bothered to actually build up their romance. I would've loved to see them actually explore the relationship over the course of a few more episodes and to slowly build up to this revelation and have Loki realise it himself, not have Mobius scream it at him. I was like, Mobius my man, slow down, take a deep breath and chill. I'm still enjoying the show immensely but I'm a little disappointed with the writing and the pace. Anyway, sorry for coming into your inbox and ranting like this. I just wanted to voice my agreement for your post! Have a great day!

Hi Anon!

I would say that while 6 episodes can feel short, it's about four and a half hours. That's actually quite a bit of time. The problem is that they're not always using it very well. Like I said, too many scenes go nowhere and accomplish or set-up very little, when each scene should be doing a few things - exposition, character development, plot progression, world building, etc. should all be happening at once. Instead, we often stop - or keep walking, as the case may be - and yammer on purely about exposition with just a little character development on the side. That's why when things have to go down, they don't have the time left anymore and so they just exposit character development rather than show it (sorry Mobius).

Unfortunately, the amount of logorrhea they put in everyone's mouths often inhibits the acting. My favourite moments with the acting are often when no-one is speaking at all - such as the little 'reaction video' Loki got in Episode 1, and his discovery of the Time Stones in Casey's drawer. I felt like the writing worked very well in those first two - credit to Waldron for that - because it got out of the actor's way when it needed to and gave them great lines along the way. Episodes 3 & 4 felt overstuffed with verbiage, often saying what should have been left to pure acting (with some nice exceptions here and there, like the singing scene). This also has the unintended effect of dragging stuff out, as so often we're just trying to sort through everything being said and thrown at us instead of just enjoying where we are and what's happening. On top of that, too often grand revelations are told to us rather than discovered and reacted to - seeing the Infinity Stones in the drawer is a good example of how to do that right, that was awesome and told us so much about Loki and the TVA. Sylvie just saying 'Anyway, the Time Cops are all Variants' feels a bit anticlimatic, especially as it calls for Loki to be all 'Oh dear, someone should tell them!', when I'd rather see his face go 'Oh dear, someone should tell them' as he learns that. Or at least have dialogue that implies that without being so direct. If that makes any sense.

It just feels like the scripts for 3&4 were just not polished and were written by TV writers, not so much Movie writers - the former relies on heavy exposition while the latter is trained to leave much more up to the director's and actor's interpretation. Loki might have a reputation for being talky-talky, but a surprising amount of his scenes are dialogue-free in the films, or else there's a particular acting spin on the words that makes them feel punctuated and memorable. I'm having a hard time quoting anything from this series in part because there's just not a lot of breathing room. Instead, we just get info dump after info dump, often repeating the same info, more's the pity.

So much exposition can be done visually! Use your sets, use visual storytelling techniques, use colour and lighting and acting and contrasting set pieces and let us have some goddamn 'mah'. (See Hayao Miyazaki quote about the space between claps).

I'd probably be more okay with the rapidfire dialogue if it were just punched up and more iconic and got us somewhere in a more interesting, less direct way. I love witty dialogue and talky-talky films, but there's a lot of effort that goes into making those flow well and not get bogged down.

As for the romance, I'm hopeful that it is not, in fact, a romance, even though I realize I am fighting a lot of evidence on that front. It just feels too strange, awkward and out of nowhere to me. I can't say I'm a fan that they've even implied it. But maybe - just maybe - it's supposed to strange and awkward and there's not in fact a romantic edge to it. Maybe Loki just liking and respecting another Loki is being mistaken for that and used as a weapon to torment him, much like how Mobius has twisted other things to make mockery of Loki and put him down. Loki himself hasn't said it. Although he hasn't exactly denied it either. Maybe that's because he's not sure what the feeling is and needs time to work out it's not romantic. Maybe. Please oh please let there be a way out of this.

We'll see how it goes. I'm still hopeful. There's a lot to like here, it just needed more time to be refined - which, to be fair, is a comment I have about a lot of MCU films. I'm still shocked some of them turned out as well as they did with the quick turnaround they have. Others really did deserve a few more hours in the oven, though. Considering that this is the 'Phase One' of MCU TV (apologies to AOS fans), I think we're probably in for a lot foot-finding and experimentation and messiness, like we had for Phase One of the MCU Movies. I can live with messiness - I even find it a bit exciting - as long as they stick the landing.

[aahsokaatano]

King I would love that essay about Changing Channels

Fjdjshjdhdjd thanks for reading my tags Jesse you're the real VIP here.

Okay SO "Changing Channels" is the 8th episode of the 5th season of Supernatural. I give this information bc it's important in looking at the context of the episode - now I've complained a LOT about how SPN is terrible at giving us canonical timeframes within the episodes (y'all i was SHOCKED to discover the first season is supposed to cover a little over a year's worth of time, I thought it was like... 4 or 5 months) so I can't say for sure how long before and after the other episodes happen in-universe around "Changing Channels" BUT

The episode before is "The Curious Case of Dean Winchester" where Dean and Bobby bet years of their lives in a game of poker with a witch. The episode after is "The Real Ghostbusters" where Sam and Dean end up at a fan convention for the in-universe Supernatural novels.

Why am I pointing this out? Because it's important, please, no audience participation, this is like a Brian David Gilbert panel.

[under a cut bc this got...... STUPID long. Who knew I still had this many opinions about SPN in 2020?]

Okay first of all I wanna talk about the cinnamon topography of this episode - I love the way the first 5 seasons are shot because you really feel the americana gothic horror aesthetic they were going for (I have a whole ‘nother rant about the first 5 seasons vs the last 10 but thats for another time). Everything is a little washed out and grey-toned, the camera angles generally serve to make Sam and Dean appear even taller than they actually are (larger than life - again, another post for another time), and there’s honestly a LOT of shots from the ‘monster’s’ perspective, which is really neat! I’ve said it before (on another blog - YES i have a dedicated spn rant blog, don’t @ me hdjfhfjfh) but the episode that really got me hooked on spn back in the day was the second one, about the w*ndigo. Yes, it’s a racist, culturally appropriating shitstorm, but the way its SHOT is fantastic. I’m honestly not a horror fan, but that episode could have easily relied on jumpscares and they DIDN’T and it was scary as all fucking hell and just - fuck okay getting off topic. 

In “Changing Channels” we get that distinctive grey-washed tone in the beginning and the very end of the episode, but the middle? When they’re in TV Land? Everything is bright. Almost comically so, I mean - okay look at these two shots of Sam (apologies about the crappy phone pics, netflix won't let me screenshot)

This one is from the start of the episode, in the "real" police station

And this is from a little later in the "TV" hospital

Ignoring that my phone is washing him out a lot in both pics, you can still see the warmer tones in the hospital shot as compared to the cold greyness in the police station one

Okay, now look at this picture

Dean inside the Impala, and those warm tones are back. Why? Because even though Sam and Dean believe that they’re back in the “real” world, they aren’t - so instead of the grey-washed shots that we’re used to, its the bright and warm shots that we see in “TV Land”! So the viewers pick up, even if its just subconsciously, that the boys aren’t out of the woods yet - everything is still too bright to be the in-universe reality we’ve come to expect from SPN by season 5

Which is also why i love this shift so much

These shots are literally SECONDS apart. The first is in "TV Land" and the second is in the "real" world. I have some red strip lights behind my bed, which are reflecting off my laptop screen - notice how much brighter they seem in the second picture? That’s because literally all of the warm colors have been drained out of the shot. As soon as Gabriel snaps them all back into “reality,” things get so much colder.

Okay, so the second thing I want to talk about is some of the very pointed dialogue choices within the “shows” the Winchesters take part in. Not between Sam and Dan and Gabriel, but from the, for lack of a better term, NPCs within the shows.

In the hospital, Dr. Piccolo tells Sam that he is “the finest cerebrovascular neurosurgeon I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So that girl died on your table; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes people just die.” Standard cheesy soap opera dialogue - but lemme just swap some words here and - 

“You are the finest hunter I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So that girl died on your hunt; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes people just die.”

Or even - 

“You are the finest hunter I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So Jessica and Mary died above you; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault [but Azazel’s]. Sometimes people just die.”

Keeping in mind that the NPCs are basically Gabriel’s mouthpieces, its easy to see why so many people ship Sabriel. I’d actually love to see a fic that explores them talking about this moment in particular later on and the kind of gentle forgiveness that Gabriel can give Sam... getting off topic again.

In an abrupt about-face, the herpes commercial (much meme’d within the fandom) is straight up Gabriel shaming Sam. Because if you replace “genital herpes” with “demon blood” it’s.... dark. And very intentional.

So that’s what I did! (I combined all spoken lines to make the message easier to read, rather than splitting them up across 3 speakers as in the episode)

“I’ve drank demon blood. I tried to be responsible... did I try. But now, after being forcibly detoxed, I fight my addiction every day to reduce the chances of passing back into that toxic mindset. Ask your loved ones about a demon blood intervention today. [...] I am doing all I can to slightly lessen the chance of drinking demon blood again. And that’s a good thing.”

Like... the subtext throughout this episode sure is. Something.

Okay this is getting ridiculously long so I wanna wrap up by talking about The Best Scene In The Whole Goddamn Show

I’m talking, of course, about Gabriel’s Confession

“Max,” you might be saying, “there are so many better scenes out there, even within the first five seasons!” and to that i say, again, no audience participation, please. Also, you’re WRONG and here’s why!

Gabriel’s confession hits every goddamn emotional chord that the fandom begged for on this show - fear, rage, grief, pain, guilt, and even, yes, absolution. 

Okay, here’s the scene again for those of you who don’t think about it at least once a week like me

Now this video is missing some of the conversation, but most of it is there, enough for you to see what I’m talking about. Gabriel up to this point has been, essentially, a nameless antagonist - this is the third episode he appeared in, and before this, we didn’t even know he was going by Loki. He was just referred to as ‘The Trickster’. But here, not only do we get a name (a real name at that), but we also get a glimpse of his backstory and a hell of a lot of character development in less than 5 minutes. I mean, Sam didn’t get this much character development throughout the entirety of season 1! There’s a good reason Gabriel has been a fan-favorite for a very long time, and I think a big part of it is this particular scene.

Because here, we get to see Gabriel being vulnerable. And we even see Dean show a little vulnerability, as he can empathize being the third party to explosive arguments between the two people who mean everything to him.

I mean... okay, it will never see the light of day, but I wrote a little bit of a Reverse ‘Verse fic (because I’m a sucker for Reverse ‘Verse) and this was the scene I started with. Not s1e1, not even the resurrection in s4e1, but this scene. Because this scene, more than any other, is critical to the way not only Gabriel’s (first) arc plays out, but also to how Sam and Dean conduct themselves for the rest of the season (and maybe a bit beyond, it’s been a hot minute since I watched s6 and later). Dean is angry but determined, he has a point to make, he is going to save Sammy and if he can’t do that, then he’s going to damn well die trying. But Sam... it’s after this episode that we start really seeing how bone-achingly tired Sam is. It’s after this conversation - where one of the other archangels, one of the few beings who can truly understand how powerful Michael and Lucifer are - says that there’s no other way around this that Sam seems to start inching towards giving in. Saying yes.

Sure, in the actual episode, he seems outraged by the idea, practically scoffs at it - “you want us to say yes to those sons of bitches?” - but it’s after this where Sam really seems run down.

I mean, look at the episodes before and after (HAH you thought I forgot about that first point I made at the very beginning of this post! I did, briefly, but I’ve circled back to it, thanks for being understanding). In “The Curious Case of Dean Winchester,” Sam behaves much as he did since the start of s4, which is to say, ‘annoying little know-it-all brother tossed into the middle of the apocalypse and just trying his best’ and it works well for the mad scramble for any scrap of information that’s happening in s4/early s5.

But in “The Real Ghostbusters” it’s different. This is another funny meta episode - except, while Sam and Dean are technically aware of the joke, they aren’t as amused by it as the audience is. And it’s not because of the ghosts. It’s because they’re just... done. Especially Sam. Dean has that nice little moment with the cosplayers at the end of the episode, but Sam... threatens to shoot Chuck. Sam ‘goes darkside’ more often than pretty much any other character in the show, but that moment is different. It’s a flat promise, not a threat. He’s not being an asshole, like he is after losing his soul. He’s just... done. And it’s obvious to see.

Gabriel’s confession is the turning point for Sam in s5, and it informs a lot of his behavior through the rest of s5, and possibly beyond! Like I said, I haven’t watched past s5 in a very long time, so I don’t feel confident enough to analyze that specific sort of character line, but I feel confident in saying that hearing one of the most powerful beings in the universe basically say “it doesn’t matter what you do - your destiny is unavoidable” and then he’s proven right (Sam says yes to Lucifer, and Dean eventually does say yes to Michael down the line!)... like, that’s really gotta fuck up your world view that was built on free will and throwing off the shackles of fate. Sam managed to avoid his ‘destiny’ in s2... but then it turns out that that wasn’t ever his destiny. Lucifer was his destiny.

Talk about an obscured view of the inner self.

[alirhi]

chapter two :)

Title: Winter's Frost Chapter: 2/? Fandom: MCU Rating: R to be on the safe side Pairing: Loki/Bucky Summary: Loki never told anyone the real reason he became so obsessed with Midgard. Much better to let them think he wanted to hurt his brother than draw their attention to the one thing in the universe that makes the God of Mischief truly vulnerable.

WARNINGS: m/m, in case that wasn't obvious. probably some swearing. I rarely do explicit sex but it might get to that point, depending on if the mood strikes me. If you're under 18, just go away XD Notes: taking advantage of the muse while I've got it lol. I should be working on actual books but... Loki took over my brain [EDIT] I rewatched CW after writing this chapter and realized there was no snow XD everything was green. Clearly, they were in SoCal, not NY. I'm from the Northeast, so I automatically associate December with snow, ice, and all things evil (I hate extremes lol). My bad.

Loki, you've changed.

"I'm fine."

Loki, you've become so unfocused.

"I'm fine."

Loki, are you alright, dear?

"I'm fine!" Maybe, he'd thought, if he repeated it often enough, it might become true. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. He's gone-I'M FINE!

He'd never told anyone about his soldier boy; Heimdall was the only one who even knew Loki was going to Midgard frequently in the early 1940s, and even he didn't know why. Loki had made sure of it. A handy, if tiring trick, to keep prying all-seeing eyes out of his business. The end result of his desire for privacy, though, the price he paid for being cagey, was that when he went back and found himself alone, he couldn't tell anyone what he'd lost.

Bucky was gone. He was gone, and Loki couldn't even share his grief with his mother, because he'd been so scared to tell her about his unexpected, unorthodox love. For a brief few months, he'd found little stolen moments of bliss; a heartbeat, and barely that. He'd known his fragile human love would one day perish, and that he'd never be ready, but even in his darkest nightmares of the war Bucky was facing, he'd never truly thought it would happen this soon.

He was gone, and Loki was left all alone. He couldn't let anyone see his grief, so he showed them indifference. He showed them callous disregard and a flippant sharp tongue that drove them all mad. He could turn to none of them, so he did all he could to turn them away; maybe if they weren't all looking at him, for just a few minutes, he could let himself break and weep for the love stolen from him too soon.

Eventually, he realized he would never have that moment if he stayed on Asgard. There were simply too many prying eyes, and not enough holes to hide from them in. Though it tore him to shreds to even think it, he snuck away back to Midgard for the first time in decades.

The spot he'd chosen was meant to be deserted. A snowy woodland road in the middle of the night, he couldn't imagine anyone wanting to be there. It was perfect, really. Except that it wasn't actually deserted.

It took him a moment to understand what he was seeing as he approached the two vehicles. One was an automobile, its front end smashed against a tree and in flames, with two silent, unmoving passengers. The other was a motorcycle, and that really confused him. Who would ride around so exposed in this kind of weather?

Movement caught his eye, and for a brief, foolish second he felt relief. Someone was helping the unconscious pair in the car-no. Someone was walking away from them.

Someone unnervingly familiar. "James?" It couldn't be! He'd died in that bloody war! Even if he hadn't, humans aged rapidly; he'd be an old man, barely able to move, much less choke the life out of a woman, which Loki's brain oh-so-helpfully had just processed, belatedly.

This man, who looked like Bucky but wasn't, had just murdered someone right in front of him. Loki wasn't even sure if he cared. He was too stunned and confused to feel much of anything.

The man didn't respond, but he did march straight up to him. At first, Loki thought they might have a conversation – perhaps this was a relative of Bucky's, wondering how Loki knew his great-great Uncle or some such?

No. He was getting rather tired of being wrong. Perhaps Odin was right; he was unfocused, off his game. The man's icy metal fingers were wrapped around his throat before he'd fully processed what was about to happen.

Without thinking, Loki smirked and taunted, "Straight to it, then? It has been a while, hasn't it?"

"What are you talking about?"

That voice! "It can't be...!" Eyes wide, Loki broke his own code and slapped a hand onto the man's fluffy head. It couldn't be Bucky, after all, so reading his mind wasn't betraying the man he loved.

The mad, nonsensical scramble that flooded his mind nearly made him faint. It was like a long, distorted scream tearing through his head. They both let go of the other and stumbled back, not-Bucky looking stunned and confused, and Loki barely able to think straight through the pain and confusion.

One word slowly made its way to the surface out of the din: HYDRA.

"What is HYDRA?" He was still clutching his own head, willing the world to stop spinning at such an alarming, nauseating rate, when he heard the other man's voice again.

"Hail HYDRA." It was soft, monotone and automatic, as if he wasn't even fully aware of what he was saying. Even with that haunting lack of emotion, that voice was too familiar.

Loki had to know what was going on. Bracing himself for another onslaught, he gripped the man's head with both hands and focused with all his might. The static nearly overwhelmed him, but the images slowly made their way through. Capture, imprisonment, torture... Trauma and anger and diving right back into the fray. Falling. Pain. Delirium.

"You will be the new fist of HYDRA."

It finally clicked, and he threw his arms around Bucky – yes, Gods, it was Bucky! HYDRA. He knew that name! That was the organization within the Nazi ranks that Bucky had been fighting against.

"Oh, James! What did they do to you?"

He was so caught up in trying to piece it all together from his love's suppressed memories that he was completely unprepared when Bucky shoved him back, and he fell right on his ass in a snow bank. Indignant, he hopped back to his feet and started brushing himself off, but paused when he found the barrel of a gun in his peripheral vision. With his patented arrogant smirk firmly in place, he informed him, "That won't kill me."

Bucky looked confused, and the gun wavered. Then, for a split second, Bucky – his Bucky – was back and Loki was folded tightly in his arms. They held each other like a lifeline, smashing their lips together in a fierce kiss that left them both breathless.

"Loki?"

He smiled through the haze of tears suddenly blurring his vision, a choked laugh that was more than half-sob escaping him as he ran his hands through that ridiculous long hair over and over again. "Yes. I don't know how you're alive, but I am so grateful!"

"Run!" Eyes wild, Bucky pushed him back, more gently this time, but with far more urgency. "'No witnesses.' Loki, you have to run! Now!"

"What?"

"Get out of here, before I figure out what will kill you!"

"I don't understand..." The machine. The final piece fell into place from Bucky's scrambled memories, and filled him with rage. The reason Bucky's mind was so screwed up, the reason he wavered even now and the dull, robotic look returned to his eyes; they'd figured out how to control him. They'd stripped away his free will and left him a shell of himself, able only to obey their orders.

He could see the internal struggle as what was left of his Bucky fought against the mindless soldier. Hoping to mitigate that as much as he could until he could free the other man, he assured him through clenched teeth, "Do what you have to, Sergeant. Survive. I'll take care of the rest."

The look of profound confusion, of a little lost puppy, was heartbreaking. Bucky was trying so hard to stay himself, to not harm him. Watching him suffer was more than Loki could bear.

"I'll return for you," he swore as he slipped back into the shadows. "I'm going to burn it all down."

______________________________________________________

Next Masterlist

[margridarnauds]

So, I’m trying to articulate my thoughts on Valhalla and gender, which is sparked by the fact that, while Lagertha is prominently mentioned as the mother of the Ragnarssons (and you can find her axe), we never hear so much as a word about Aslaug/Thora, who is pretty much the real protagonist of Ragnar’s saga. 

On one hand: Lagertha is pretty much at a high of popularity right now, courtesy of Vikings (derogatory). On the other hand: Aslaug is in Vikings (derogatory) too. We see her AS THE MOTHER of most of Ragnar’s sons. There’s no reason for her NOT to be recognizable enough to be included. (Lagertha’s inclusion is also problematic - Instead of being able to divorce Ragnar and have her own life, they went the cheap route by having her being shot by a Finnish arrow.) But, at the end of the day.....it feels like, while Valhalla DOES include a diverse range of women (including our protagonist), ultimately there is....some sort of hierarchy involved, where women who fight, or at least wield weapons are automatically seen as better? 

Of our two longterm romantic interests, neither one wears a dress, both of them in traditionally masculine clothing, likewise for Ciara in WOTD. With Randvi, we’re first really invited to pity her/consider her as a really viable romantic option when we hear that she COULD have been a Jomsviking....had she not been married off to Sigurd. We see her taking down bandits, drinking ale, and we’re supposed to think, at that point, that she’s a worthy love interest. 

There’s this rather confusing line from the artbook, which says: 

“As a strategist, Randvi does not dress in a warrior’s outfit, but neither does she wear the typical women’s clothing of her time.” 

Which...seems to imply that being a strategist (a role that primarily involves her being behind a table), is automatically at odds with wearing a dress. Even if 9th century Scandinavian clothing was restrictive (it isn’t - We’re well, well before the days of tightlacing here, and women had to be able to go about their daily chores, and even IN the days of tightlacing as the peak of fashion, plenty of women didn’t, or went about their daily chores), she’s not doing anything that involves intense manual labor. Putting her in pants is simply a way of saying “Look! Look at Randvi! Look at how independent she is!” which....actually doesn’t work, when almost EVERY OTHER major female NPC is ALSO in pants. Including Valka who, as a völva, ergo a non-combatant role that mostly involves eating shrooms in her huts, has no practical need for pants, even if, once again, the clothing was impractical. If I didn’t know What A 9th Century Norsewoman Should Look Like, I would just assume that this was something that all noblewomen did. 

It’s very rare to see women actively weaving, as I’ve discussed before, with Eivor only weaving as one of the disguises that she can take to blend in. As a shieldmaiden who’s up and about constantly, I honestly wouldn’t expect Eivor to devote that much time to weaving, but it is a little jarring when the women who are constantly at the settlement don’t so much as mention it, since this was a great opportunity for women to get together, share gossip, tell tales, talk shit about the men, etc. in their own spaces. And there was a bit of an anxiety around it, because, while this was a necessary function for the creation of clothing (which, in the game, seems to just materialize in chests over the game world), it also was tightly associated with magic and sorcery. (Hence why there was a stigma against men practicing magic....unless you’re Odin, in which case Loki will talk shit about you but is anyone else? No. Because you’re Odin.) I want to emphasize that my issue here isn’t “STAY IN THE KITCHEN AND BE A PROPER WOMAN, EIVOR”, it’s more....erasing what the vast majority of women in the Viking Age DID. 

The closest we get to more traditional, more conventional women would be in the form of the religious women, but, from the Anchoress to the one murderous nun in the mysteries event to Frideswid in the Lunden Arc to Acha in the Lincolnscire arc, they tend to be portrayed as either zealous and evil or confused and easily manipulated, which ignores the reality for many medieval women, which is that, for many women who didn’t want marriage for one reason or another (whether it was that they were facing the possibility of a forced marriage, or they had no dowry, or they were lesbians, or they were ace, or they were any combination of those things), it was their one chance at a life of their own. I’m not saying that it was IDEAL, or that the medieval church was ideal, but it did give them options (that, incidentally, in the pre-Christian times....you didn’t have. Which is why I don’t attach any real sense of horror to Christianity coming to Ireland, at LEAST from the standpoint of women’s rights. There are other aspects to that, but we’re here, in 9th century England, so I won’t go into it.) No, it has to come from some moral defect, otherwise, they would be independent, like Eivor, like Randvi, like Petra, like Eadwyn, like Valdis, or even like Fulke, who is a religious figure referenced, extensively, as mad and heretical, but who makes a large impact on the plot and at least earns some level of respect, as opposed to the others who make relatively brief appearances.

Now, when discussing women warriors, there tends to be some moral value attached to it: “Women warriors DIDN’T EXIST, and if you argue that they DID, you just want women to be men, ignoring that non-femme women might find comfort in the knowledge that they aren’t alone”, often with a sense of moral guilt-tripping over “Erasing women’s suffering” (which also falls into the trap of assuming that being a woman = suffering, or that that’s the defining experience of being a woman) VS “Women warriors EXISTED and they were #NotLikeOtherGirls and that’s ALL we’re going to talk about as far as women at the time, as well as ignoring any potential evidence for trans or otherwise nonbinary identities”. Both options have the potential to erase or diminish what either option can mean to people. I hate both options equally, and I find that the way they’re brought in is incredibly manipulative. I’m not interested in saying that putting an axe in a woman’s hand = setting back feminism for twenty years. I’m not interested in saying that having essentially no more conventional women in the main cast = feminism. Both are bad, but what I’m concerned about is the lack of nuance in Valhalla and how it seems to assume that there’s ONLY ONE WAY to have power. (I’d hoped that Lady Eadwyn would be cool, and she is....even though we only see her in armor, she’s kind of what I would expect from a medieval woman, in the sense that her husband was Ealdorman and now she’s following in his footsteps, defending her rights as his widow, but then we replace her with a dude.)

As someone whose relationship to gender is Weird, I actually really, really enjoy playing a female character who has the kind of independence that Eivor has - I enjoy getting to jump around, killing things in a gloriously rendered historical environment. I enjoy that, with the exception of Dag, no one really questions it (though I would have been down for a more in-depth examination of gender in the Viking Age). I enjoy that Eivor is compassionate, clever, and aggressive, and that she’s able to have romances with both sexes. I’m not trying to nuke her via historical accuracy here (especially since the historical reality of shieldmaidens is SUCH a hot topic, I feel like wading into either end of the historical accuracy pool is a recipe for disaster) because I actually really, really like her as a character. There are relatively few times where I really, really identify with and love a main female video game character, especially since, so often, even into the present, when things are supposed to be better, I can still TELL that they were made by and for straight men, and this is one. What I AM saying is that I hate that it comes at the expense of basically every woman who ISN’T a warrior or otherwise “independent” by the game’s standards. You do have merchant women, the tattoo artist in camp, Valka, as mentioned before, but it all goes back to that point - We never really see a prominent woman running the household, managing the money, giving orders, which was an immensely important, powerful job, and as a result, it always feels kind of halfway done, that we’re over-representing one relationship to gender at the expense of another. 

[disaster-bay-leaf]

Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)

4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99

I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡

uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨

4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?

hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between

and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)

6 - do you keep plants?

honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )

7 - do you name your plants?

yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj

9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?

oh god oh dude you have n o idea

i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time

12 - whats your favourite planet?

oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)

19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?

okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it

22 - are you a morning person?

n o

i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful

but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am

23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?

except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest

28 - sunrise or sunset?

i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock

but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose

33 - whats your fave pastry?

and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj

either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding

34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

awwww this is cute

okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes

46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of

what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*

47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)

52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?

the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj

but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too

as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about

59 - whats your favourite myth?

i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks

but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example

60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius

some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it

63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?

okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again

66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?

either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition

or something purple (maybe not belladonna)

83 - whats some of your favourite album art?

god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that

“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too

also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say

and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)

87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):

- the princess bride

- inception

- night at the museum

- SPIRITED AWAY

- forrest gump

- truman show

- E.T. (i cried okay)

- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)

- parasite

and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good

93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?

honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short

also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form

99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them

this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:

- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)

- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)

- tears and rain by james blunt

- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie

- almost home by mxmtoon

- anything by hozier really but shrike especially

- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)

- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)

- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers

- autoclave by the mountain goats

oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)

[vampish-glamour]

Loki anon! They copyrighted everything to do with illegal Disney merch and shit that was getting posted on places like Etsy. As long as my Loki character is provably the Loki from the myths, and not the Loki from Disney MCU, my writing is safe. All mythology is in the public domain!... until Disney figures out how to change public domain laws again haaaaaa

And gender fandom/fandom mess... well, I dont want to say what media it was exactly, the main character was a short high-school boy who let himself get bullied because he thought that would make him a stronger man. Part of his character arc was realizing that he could be strong in his own way, without being rough like other guys. Now, I don't have an issue with trans headcanons in general. However, it gets annoying when every. other. person. headcanons that this soft spoken male is AFAB. Biological men can't naturally be gentle, loving characters, apparently - except when they needed him to have a dick for gay fanfiction. There were a few, vocal people in particular who headcannoned him as afab non binary with he/him pronouns (completely ignoring how he wants to be seen as more manly, not less) After I saw them I lost interest, the sexist undertones and rampant fetishization of gay men came to be obnoxious.

I'm just going to leave it all behind, distance myself completely from my Ao3 name, and start turning my fandom blog into a discourse/LGBT blog while I work on writing evil and morally grey characters. With original fic, I don't have to worry about character-defenders accusing me of character bashing lmao, so I can go wild.

Oh, I see. I guess that makes sense. Would suck for artists doing commissions and such though!

I’ve noticed that the majority of trans headcanons are entirely based off sexism. Like you described; you’ll have a soft male character and people will assume he must be female. Or he must be nonbinary. Same with having a character who might be a more feminine man or a more masculine woman… people will do their best to make them Not A Man and Not A Woman. And fandom has some really weird ideas of what makes somebody feminine or masculine in the first place. I have seen tight jeans being a qualifier for feminine and “gender? Who’s she?” Jokes.

And then sometimes trans headcanons will be used for fetish reasons, which means making a character trans so you can write PIV sex and still call it gay. From what I’ve heard people tend to treat the trans man character like the “woman” of the two… it always rubs me the wrong way from both the transphobia angle and the sexism angle. Because they’re fetishizing and arguably dehumanizing trans people… and they’re also contributing to the idea that female = submissive, male = dominant. It’s like they feel the need to add that in order to establish a dom/sub dynamic. There’s also the homophobia of the attitude I see a lot towards gay sex, often implying that straight sex is cleaner and more natural—therefore the better option. (Can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this with the GO fandom. *puts a dollar in the “mentioning go” jar* People will just straight up be like “well they can shapeshift so of course they’d choose to have straight sex over gay sex, it’s cleaner!! Gay sex is gross why do it if you don’t have to”)

So it’s interesting that it goes the other way, too—headcanoning a character as trans until you want to write the gay smut. In that case it makes trans people less of a fetish and more of a placeholder if that makes sense? Both are pretty transphobic.

Lol that’s a good idea, good luck!! I still kinda lurk around fandom because it’s not like I have anywhere else to indulge in my interests, but I’ve learned how to avoid things I don’t want to see to the best of my ability. Which really just means staying out of tags and abusing the hell out of ao3’s filter system.

And the evil/morally grey characters?? Hell yes. Those are the best kind and I want all the evil and/or morally grey characters I can get!!

[lokigodofaces]

Michelle, Marvel, & Pride 21

Link to questions.

Which characters do you think would come out and be overtly queer, and which ones do you think would be more shy about it or stay entirely in the closet?

Joey Gutierrez: In the first episode he appears in, he said he was tired of hiding his sexuality. So I don't think he'd necessarily flaunt it, but he'd be pretty open about it. Like, not necessarily bring it up unless he's talking about a date, but he's not afraid to talk about it if someone asks a question.

Peggy Carter: She'd be out a small circle of people. Maybe a few of the characters of Agent Carter, maybe Steve if he didn't fall into the ice.

Valkyrie: Pre-destruction of valkyries, I feel like everyone, or at least all of the valkyries, would have known. Now, I feel like she'd be more in the closet because she's been gone from Asgard for so long and doesn't know who to trust with this.

Ayo: She'd be openly lesbian, and everyone would know.

Loki Laufeyson: He'd be more closed off about it. He already went through so much crap with him being Jotun (a race hated on Asgard). So he is more cautious about this because he doesn't want another reason for people to hate him. But he's very supportive of his queer friends, and some of them suspect he might be queer but don't say anything since that is a very private, personal thing. But, he slowly is comfortable coming out to some people, but overall he is very deep in the closet and doesn't want to be openly queer, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Bucky Barnes: In the '40's no one, not even Steve knew. But Bucky is so happy to be able to be who he is now. Once he gets over initial fear, he is out and proud.

Wanda Maximoff: She's more closed off about this, mostly because so few people know what abrosexuality is. Only a handful of people know. She's pretty open about saying she's queer though, just doesn't go into too many specifics.

Lance Hunter: The biggest bisexual disaster you have ever met. Will go to work with a bi flag wrapped around him. Everyone's used to it now. He is now the go to person to go to in S.H.I.E.L.D. if you're queer and scared. He will help you through it.

Daisy Johnson: She doesn't talk about it too much. She's bi, but thinks she leans more towards men. She is demi, and no one knows what demisexual means. But she is pretty open about it.

Jemma Simmons: She would love to be more open, but she's worried about harassment since she's biromantic heterosexual. People tend to be hostile towards varioriented people. She wishes she could be more open about her romantic orientation, but she's scared to do so.

Leopold Fitz: The only people that know are Jemma, Daisy, Mack, Coulson, Hunter, May, Bobbi, Elena, and Deke, in that order. His bisexuality is something he likes to keep private, but has told the few people closest to him. Everyone is super supportive of him and will take his bisexuality to the grave.

Steve Rogers: He was very much in the closet before the ice, but now he is out and proud and happy to be openly queer. He was scared to even say the word gay before, but now he can dress like a rainbow and hundreds of people will support him. He also does so so that he can be a support for others, since he's a public figure.

Hela Odinsdottir: She doesn't really care if people know or don't know.

Carol Danvers: Pretty closeted except for Maria pre-crash. Kree culture involves having sex with everyone, and Carol didn't feel comfortable with that, but Kree didn't teach about monosexuality. But when she gets to Earth, Maria tells her about it, since she's unsure if the Kree erased that from her too. Now, Carol is a raging lesbian and everyone knows.

Peter Parker: Very much closeted. Only MJ, Ned, and eventually Tony know. Big supporter of the community, but not comfortable being out as queer (which is fine!).

MJ Watson: Everyone knows she's queer at the very least. Not many know what omnisexual is, so she gets people confusing her as bi or pan pretty often, but she's happy to clear it up since she knows very few people know what omnisexuality is.

Tess: My poor girl doesn't even know what aroace means, of course know one else knows.

Sam Wilson: He'd be more private about his aromanticism. He gets tired of everyone assuming he's aromantic and asexual, because he is in fact heterosexual. He's open about being queer, but not being aro, which is annoying because of his queerplatonic relationship with Bucky. Since people know he's queer, they assume he's homosexual or bisexual or something along those lines. When, no, they are assuming hand holding is inherently romantic/sexual, when really in Sam's case it is queerplatonic. So sometimes he snaps and says he is aro and has a qpr with Bucky because it gets so annoying, everyone assuming he is gay because they refuse to consider aromanticism and qprs.

Mantis: Drax knows, and so does Gamora, but that's it.

Nebula: Only Gamora knows, but she doesn't care if others do. But Gamora won't tell anyone.

Vision: Only Wanda knows.

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[imagine-loki]

Pride and Prejudice

TITLE: Pride and Prejudice CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 56 AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki was raised on Jotunheim as Laufey’s son after the war, but an agreement was then made that he would wed Odin’s daughter so Odin could secure the alliance of Jotunheim through the marriage. Loki, in turn, was raised to be king of Jotunheim, but how he views Asgard is far different from how Odin’s daughter is raised leading to a clash of cultures as well as uncertainty between the pair of betrothed youths.     RATING: Mature   NOTES/WARNINGS: Forced Marriage, not all fun and games. My first real step back into the Loki scene in over a year.

Tags - @skulliebythesea @asimovethroughthisworld @blackcherry26-blog @we-shadowhunter2901

Ella stood looking over the courtyard. Only a short time previous, it was bare, nothing but harsh and ugly ice shards, now, it was in full bloom. Beautiful ice flowers grew everywhere possible cultivated proudly by those forced to abandon such professions when the realm had fallen to a barren wasteland. She looked around as beings from different realms walked and spoke in different groupings. It felt right, seeing different peoples from different realms together on the realm she called her home. She also noticed that she did not feel so lonely for her old home seeing some of her favourite parts of it on her new home realm. Conversation was so important to her, so seeing the likes of such being opened with those of Jotunheim, it filled her with contentment. “You seem somewhat unhappy, you have done ever since the coronation.” Ella turned to look at her mother who was standing not too far away. “What ails you so, Mother?”

“Your husband is king…”

Ella was going to correct her mother with the term mate, not husband, but she stopped herself, it was irrelevant, it was the same thing by a different name. “He is.” She smiled proudly at such. 

“Yet you were not made his queen.”

“There are no queens on Jotunheim, Mother. There never has been. All Kings except for Loki have multiple mates, so there never has been a call for such, which would be made queen? All of them being so would not have been an option.” 

“This is not like other times,” Frigga pointed out. “There is only you now.”

“It is the way here, Mother. I know it is confusing, but you get used to it.” Ella purposely kept her tone light, not wanting to be seen to argue with her mother if any where to pass by them. “How was the Garden of Tyrell? I hope you brought one or two scrolls with you.”

“You are carrying a child, you should not even be considering new spells of that nature,” Frigga admonished. 

“He will be here soon and though my days will be busy tending to him, I will still have time for such things. I always intend to have time to broaden my learning, even when I left home I wished for such.”

“Tending...surely you will have assistance?” Frigga had learnt quickly that on Jotunheim, there were no nursemaids to assist and raise the children but she thought Ella’s own entirely different rearing would have meant she would have done something different to the Jotnar. “Being of a foreign realm, you were never taught such things.”

“I can learn, as all mothers do. It has not been impossible through the ages, I think it something I can grasp it. Many women of far lesser means have done so successfully. Honestly, Mother, I feel as though you have no faith in me.” 

Frigga felt her throat become tight at those words. “I have never doubted your ability since the day you proved all my ideas of you wrong for the second time. The first, I put down to fluke luck, the second...well, I was not going to allow myself to be mistaken again. You have never faltered to keep going in your attempts to do something. You may have, on occasion, had trouble trying to get there, but you always managed it. This will be no different but this is your most difficult hurdle to date. You are feeling the challenge of carrying a child, no doubt, not assisted by being somewhere so cold, I would assume.”

“He is like his father, he prefers the cold, it has led to some issues, I will not deny it. My hips would like it if I had taken Father’s size more than yours but overall, it has been something of a pleasant experience.”

Frigga was uncertain if her daughter was saying such things to dismiss any issues she was suffering personally but seeing her smile, she knew she would not get an answer on such if it were the case. “Are you not frightened?”

“Petrified. Very soon, this child will be here and dependant on me to keep him alive, how am I not supposed to be scared?”

“Parenting on our realm is quite terrifying, to not even have that assistance here...”

“I will have Greta and Alma to assist me.”

“What of the other one?” Ella looked at her mother curiously. “She seems somewhat cold.” She paused for a moment as she thought over her words. “On more than one level.”

Ella nodded slightly. “Angrboða and I do not see eye-to-eye. We mutually agree that we should have very little to do with one another and that is one of the very few things we do agree on.”

Frigga’s brow furrowed slightly. “That cannot be easy.”

“We make it work. My concern is my family, Loki, myself and our child, not in that order, mind. My duty is to me and mine, not to get into squabbles with beings I have little to do with.”

Frigga looked at Ella for a moment before nodding slightly. “I think your brother to be far more like your father in appearance, though his mind is something I have never been able to decide as to who he takes after. You, on the other hand, you are your Father’s daughter in mind, though you look more like me, I think.”

Ella laughed slightly. “If you think it is from him alone that I get such things, Mother, you are poorly mistaken. I am as much you in mind as I am Father, with a dash of my own personality of my own making added in for good measure.”

“That mischievous streak has to have come from somewhere,” Frigga commented in her own jestful manner. 

“We already covered that in you and Father, or did you think none would ever learn how it is you came to know not mere seidr but dark witches magic and how Father came to even have Mjolnir and Gungnir when both were not in the possession of Asgard before the incident on Niðavellir that no one seems to talk about yet seems so very obviously something that should be spoken about?”

“First of all, how do you know about my less than appropriate education and secondly, what occurred on Niðavellir?”

“It’s not hard to figure out when the witch I went in search of made a comment about my being my mother’s daughter and with regards to the situation in which Father came to have those weapons, all I will say is that I have spoken to some beings with information on such as they were witnesses to the situation in which he came to have them and it would most certainly come under the heading of mischievous, or did both of you think none would ever come to question such things?”

Frigga knew that there was no manner in which she could get her daughter to explain further. Instead, she accepted the answer she was given as she knew it would be the only one she would get. “You never cease to amaze me, Ella. your knowledge is unrivalled in many ways.”

“I am proficient at everything I do.” Ella could not help gently putting a hand to her stomach. “I just wish he could see you all more. It feels wrong to know he will not see you as often as we wish he could. I want him to know you all but it will only be fleeting moments of such.” 

“I only hope his father will be somewhat interested in spending time with him.” Ella frowned at her mother’s words. “The demand for there being children was because of him yet his disgust at such…”

“Loki is very much excited for the arrival of the baby. He has made mention more than once of how he cannot wait to begin to interact and bond with him. With regards to the demand, as you call it, I know it is hard to believe, Mother, but Loki never asked for that; it’s true but like with many of the marriages you have witnessed in your years like this, where how it starts is not how it remains. I know that you are saying these things out of concern but you have nothing to fear, I can assure you. Loki is a good mate. He cares about me.”

Frigga did not know if she should say anything to her daughter about the uncertain hope she carried in her voice. She could only hope that her daughter’s trust was well placed, though the past would suggest that there was a significant chance she was wrong. Leaving the Garden of Tyrell to the news that her daughter was dying from an infliction such as her own seidr fighting her own mind terrified Frigga. She wanted to call on Heimdall and have him bring her to the Ice Realm post-haste, to level it alone if Odin would not help her over what Loki had done to inflict such horrific isolation on Ella but she knew Heimdall would already have been told by Odin not to allow such, so she was forced to return to Asgard and prepare for her daughter’s return. When Odin returned to Asgard alone, informing her that Ella would not be dissuaded from remaining on Jotunheim, she fought once more to go see her daughter, mostly in an attempt to have her see sense and return home but again her husband thwarted her attempts to do so, stating they could not protect Ella from the realms forever, that their daughter had made her decision and it was their duty to respect such. If they could respect the decision of their son to battle when he could very easily be killed, they needed to extend the same to their daughter, though both privately knew it was different with Ella. She was different to Thor, reminding them both of their most notable traits, her bright eyes yearning for new knowledge all through her life and both elated to be the ones to bestow it on her. Thor tended to be more headstrong, like his father as Frigga often commented, but Ella, she was every bit the queen her mother was and far more, making the actions of Loki in not making her queen all the more baffling to Frigga. Everything felt so conflicting. His movements beside her as they stood side-by-side in the hall meeting guests were of caring, the fact he did not name her his partner conflicted with that in her mind. 

[wolfpawn]

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 56

Story Summary - Based on an idea I had that I submitted to Imagine Loki. Imagine Loki was raised on Jotunheim as Laufey’s son after the war, but an agreement was then made that he would wed Odin’s daughter so Odin could secure the alliance of Jotunheim through the marriage. Loki, in turn, was raised to be king of Jotunheim, but how he views Asgard is far different from how Odin’s daughter is raised leading to a clash of cultures as well as uncertainty between the pair of betrothed youths.

Chapter Summary - Ella and Frigga share their first private conversation face-to-face since the wedding with the older's worries with regards to her daughter being voiced.

Previous Chapter

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Ella stood looking over the courtyard. Only a short time previous, it was bare, nothing but harsh and ugly ice shards, now, it was in full bloom. Beautiful ice flowers grew everywhere possible cultivated proudly by those forced to abandon such professions when the realm had fallen to a barren wasteland. She looked around as beings from different realms walked and spoke in different groupings. It felt right, seeing different peoples from different realms together on the realm she called her home. She also noticed that she did not feel so lonely for her old home seeing some of her favourite parts of it on her new home realm. Conversation was so important to her, so seeing the likes of such being opened with those of Jotunheim, it filled her with contentment. “You seem somewhat unhappy, you have done ever since the coronation.” Ella turned to look at her mother who was standing not too far away. “What ails you so, Mother?”

“Your husband is king…”

Ella was going to correct her mother with the term mate, not husband, but she stopped herself, it was irrelevant, it was the same thing by a different name. “He is.” She smiled proudly at such. 

“Yet you were not made his queen.”

“There are no queens on Jotunheim, Mother. There never has been. All Kings except for Loki have multiple mates, so there never has been a call for such, which would be made queen? All of them being so would not have been an option.” 

“This is not like other times,” Frigga pointed out. “There is only you now.”

“It is the way here, Mother. I know it is confusing, but you get used to it.” Ella purposely kept her tone light, not wanting to be seen to argue with her mother if any where to pass by them. “How was the Garden of Tyrell? I hope you brought one or two scrolls with you.”

“You are carrying a child, you should not even be considering new spells of that nature,” Frigga admonished. 

“He will be here soon and though my days will be busy tending to him, I will still have time for such things. I always intend to have time to broaden my learning, even when I left home I wished for such.”

“Tending...surely you will have assistance?” Frigga had learnt quickly that on Jotunheim, there were no nursemaids to assist and raise the children but she thought Ella’s own entirely different rearing would have meant she would have done something different to the Jotnar. “Being of a foreign realm, you were never taught such things.”

“I can learn, as all mothers do. It has not been impossible through the ages, I think it something I can grasp it. Many women of far lesser means have done so successfully. Honestly, Mother, I feel as though you have no faith in me.” 

Frigga felt her throat become tight at those words. “I have never doubted your ability since the day you proved all my ideas of you wrong for the second time. The first, I put down to fluke luck, the second...well, I was not going to allow myself to be mistaken again. You have never faltered to keep going in your attempts to do something. You may have, on occasion, had trouble trying to get there, but you always managed it. This will be no different but this is your most difficult hurdle to date. You are feeling the challenge of carrying a child, no doubt, not assisted by being somewhere so cold, I would assume.”

“He is like his father, he prefers the cold, it has led to some issues, I will not deny it. My hips would like it if I had taken Father’s size more than yours but overall, it has been something of a pleasant experience.”

Frigga was uncertain if her daughter was saying such things to dismiss any issues she was suffering personally but seeing her smile, she knew she would not get an answer on such if it were the case. “Are you not frightened?”

“Petrified. Very soon, this child will be here and dependant on me to keep him alive, how am I not supposed to be scared?”

“Parenting on our realm is quite terrifying, to not even have that assistance here...”

“I will have Greta and Alma to assist me.”

“What of the other one?” Ella looked at her mother curiously. “She seems somewhat cold.” She paused for a moment as she thought over her words. “On more than one level.”

Ella nodded slightly. “Angrboða and I do not see eye-to-eye. We mutually agree that we should have very little to do with one another and that is one of the very few things we do agree on.”

Frigga’s brow furrowed slightly. “That cannot be easy.”

“We make it work. My concern is my family, Loki, myself and our child, not in that order, mind. My duty is to me and mine, not to get into squabbles with beings I have little to do with.”

Frigga looked at Ella for a moment before nodding slightly. “I think your brother to be far more like your father in appearance, though his mind is something I have never been able to decide as to who he takes after. You, on the other hand, you are your Father’s daughter in mind, though you look more like me, I think.”

Ella laughed slightly. “If you think it is from him alone that I get such things, Mother, you are poorly mistaken. I am as much you in mind as I am Father, with a dash of my own personality of my own making added in for good measure.”

“That mischievous streak has to have come from somewhere,” Frigga commented in her own jestful manner. 

“We already covered that in you and Father, or did you think none would ever learn how it is you came to know not mere seidr but dark witches magic and how Father came to even have Mjolnir and Gungnir when both were not in the possession of Asgard before the incident on Niðavellir that no one seems to talk about yet seems so very obviously something that should be spoken about?”

“First of all, how do you know about my less than appropriate education and secondly, what occurred on Niðavellir?”

“It’s not hard to figure out when the witch I went in search of made a comment about my being my mother’s daughter and with regards to the situation in which Father came to have those weapons, all I will say is that I have spoken to some beings with information on such as they were witnesses to the situation in which he came to have them and it would most certainly come under the heading of mischievous, or did both of you think none would ever come to question such things?”

Frigga knew that there was no manner in which she could get her daughter to explain further. Instead, she accepted the answer she was given as she knew it would be the only one she would get. “You never cease to amaze me, Ella. your knowledge is unrivalled in many ways.”

“I am proficient at everything I do.” Ella could not help gently putting a hand to her stomach. “I just wish he could see you all more. It feels wrong to know he will not see you as often as we wish he could. I want him to know you all but it will only be fleeting moments of such.” 

“I only hope his father will be somewhat interested in spending time with him.” Ella frowned at her mother’s words. “The demand for there being children was because of him yet his disgust at such…”

“Loki is very much excited for the arrival of the baby. He has made mention more than once of how he cannot wait to begin to interact and bond with him. With regards to the demand, as you call it, I know it is hard to believe, Mother, but Loki never asked for that; it’s true but like with many of the marriages you have witnessed in your years like this, where how it starts is not how it remains. I know that you are saying these things out of concern but you have nothing to fear, I can assure you. Loki is a good mate. He cares about me.”

Frigga did not know if she should say anything to her daughter about the uncertain hope she carried in her voice. She could only hope that her daughter’s trust was well placed, though the past would suggest that there was a significant chance she was wrong. Leaving the Garden of Tyrell to the news that her daughter was dying from an infliction such as her own seidr fighting her own mind terrified Frigga. She wanted to call on Heimdall and have him bring her to the Ice Realm post-haste, to level it alone if Odin would not help her over what Loki had done to inflict such horrific isolation on Ella but she knew Heimdall would already have been told by Odin not to allow such, so she was forced to return to Asgard and prepare for her daughter’s return. When Odin returned to Asgard alone, informing her that Ella would not be dissuaded from remaining on Jotunheim, she fought once more to go see her daughter, mostly in an attempt to have her see sense and return home but again her husband thwarted her attempts to do so, stating they could not protect Ella from the realms forever, that their daughter had made her decision and it was their duty to respect such. If they could respect the decision of their son to battle when he could very easily be killed, they needed to extend the same to their daughter, though both privately knew it was different with Ella. She was different to Thor, reminding them both of their most notable traits, her bright eyes yearning for new knowledge all through her life and both elated to be the ones to bestow it on her. Thor tended to be more headstrong, like his father as Frigga often commented, but Ella, she was every bit the queen her mother was and far more, making the actions of Loki in not making her queen all the more baffling to Frigga. Everything felt so conflicting. His movements beside her as they stood side-by-side in the hall meeting guests were of caring, the fact he did not name her his partner conflicted with that in her mind. 

[loki-hargreeves]

Loki x Reader - You’re a Monster! [PART 2]

Author’s Note: This was supposed to be a one-shot but it turned into a series. Woops! Also, I’m sorry if there are typos! Warnings: vulgar language, mentions of death, angst, mentions of sex Word Count: 3,1K Summary: Loki broke his heart to save you from himself after he was prisoned for life. You believe he never loved you and he believes you’ve moved on. Five years later, you meet at Sakaar again and his fate is in your hands. Somehow, you’re supposed to work together in order to save Asgard, which is easier said than done. You left things messy and you know exactly how to push each other’s buttons.

[PART 1] 

Third POV

It was the second time within a few years that the Asgardians thought Loki, the often forgotten about son of Odin, God of Mischief, was believed to be dead. The truth was, he was posing as Odin. Frankly, Odin had been a mess after Frigga’s passing and Thor was out of the picture. Loki saw that as his chance to rule Asgard, make the people thrive for once. But he also used the position for good, diving deep into things Odin or Thor never could.

Little did anyone know he had a plan. During his time as Asgard’s king, Loki attempted to find out as much as possible about Thanos and his evil plans. He knew the location of three infinity stones, and he wanted to keep them away from the mad titan. Now that Loki was ‘dead’, he could live a little easier. No one was after him. There was only one thing that bothered him, tearing his mind to shreds. And no, it wasn’t the prophecy of Ragnarok he had been hearing about, had nightmares about too.

It was Y/N.

Just the memory of her made his heart ache. No matter how many times he told himself he did the right thing, he knew he was lying to himself. He had somehow hoped that he could see her again. Maybe not as himself but just to spot her. He wanted to see the woman, know that she was well, at least healthy. But that didn’t happen. Months passed and no one had seen her after their breakup. Loki had found out that Y/N had left her engagement ring in their old chambers. She had taken a bag worth of personal belongings, attended Frigga’s funeral, stolen weapons and then disappeared. He never found the book she had made for him. She was gone and it broke Loki’s heart because he knew it was his fault.

Posing as Odin, Loki had tried to question Heimdall about her whereabouts but of course he saw threw the magic. Tragic, really. Loki understood that Heimdall was a threat to his plans – but he was also wise, so after some very messy mutual disagreement and mild agreement, Heimdall ‘disappeared’.

It was just Loki alone for the next few years, wondering if Y/N was even alive. Deep in his heart, he could almost feel that hers was beating somewhere out there.

                     Unbeknownst to anyone, Y/N was putting her nose deep in the same waters as Loki. She hadn’t believed that Loki never loved her. No, it just didn’t make sense in her head, so she had decided to search for answers. After thinking about old conversations with Loki, reading books, contacting creatures from beyond the nine realms, she got on the right path. She learned about Thanos and the so-called infinity stones. Even Thor knew about them, which was great. Somehow, she managed to make Thor keep it a secret that she was travelling with him.

A few years passed and Thor left, following a hunch that had something to do with Sultur. Y/N didn’t go, because she had more important things to do. Besides, she knew Thor would be returning to Asgard and she had sworn not to return ever again. It hurt too much.

Once she was alone, flying through space in a ship she ‘borrowed’, she found herself thinking about Loki. That asshole, she thought but couldn’t find the truth behind those words. After everything she had learned, she was sure he had loved her to some extent. It didn’t mean that what had happened before he died didn’t put her in agony. Their last conversation broke her heart and it would haunt her forever. Thanks to the massive pain that had followed and the torturous truth of what had happened to Loki before, Y/N put up a hard and cold exterior. She had changed, to say at least.

Shamelessly, Y/N had gone as far as sleeping with strangers to lure secrets out of their lips. Some dumb Kree had told Y/N about the elders of the universe, a tale as old as time. Apparently, they were the original bearers of the stones and one of them, the Grandmaster, just happened to have an address, a dumpster realm known as Sakaar. That’s where Y/N went, not really knowing what to expect -except answers.

She landed in the middle of trash, literally, and some funky looking creatures tried to capture her. Y/N had killed them all before they could really bat an eye. She left behind a pile of their bodies but before she could leave, someone else wanted to have a word with her. Y/N had watched as a beautiful woman walked out of her ship with a bottle in her hands. Beautiful leather outfit, black hair which Y/N liked. She was hot, but Y/N knew she could be dangerous.

“You’re coming with me, ‘right?” The woman asked but it sounded like she also answered for her.

Y/N already thought of some magic tricks that were nifty for self-defence, just in case it got to that point. “Are you trying to eat me as well?” Y/N wondered, glancing at the scavengers she had killed. The woman looked at the pile and raised her eyebrows.

“I’m impressed, but no, I won’t eat you. I’m looking for…a fighter, you seem eligible.”

Y/N was honoured but it didn’t mean she’d volunteer as a puppet for whatever fight they needed a fighter for. “Can I thank you no? I’m here to meet someone called the Grandmaster.”

“Ah! I could take you to him.” The woman suggested almost casually.

“Really?”

“Really.”

Y/N still didn’t trust her. So, she walked closer to her, noticing the white paint on her skin, creating a beautiful contrast. “You lead the way; I can follow you with my ship.”

Before Y/N could hardly finish her sentence, she noticed that the woman grabbed something small, probably a weapon. Y/N was quick to grab her dagger and point it at the woman. “Look, you’re pretty and I don’t want to fight-“

“You think I’m pretty?” She smirked, almost cockily, although Y/N had a dagger pointed at her. “Isn’t that sweet of you!”. Although Y/N felt like she should be annoyed, she found herself liking this woman. There was something about her.

“Lead the way, okay? I’m busy and I don’t want to play your stupid game.”

The woman rolled her eyes and put the little weapon back into her purse. “Fine. If you wish to go to him voluntarily, I won’t stop you. Let’s go!”

And just like that, Y/N was led to the Grandmaster by the woman who she learned went by the name Scrapper 142. Y/N decided that she liked her, although she was probably dangerous and plotting a trap for her. Good luck, Y/N thought, she had been with Loki long enough to avoid basic traps. The effort was cute. But then the memory of the Trickster god stabbed her heart and she remembered what she was here for, the infinity stones.

“Oh, you found a pretty one! You never cease to impress me!” The old man smiled happily once he laid his dark eyes on Y/N. He had a blue stripe on his lip and a very sparkly, golden robe. He definitely stood out, even on this planet where no one seemed to know of dark clothes.

Y/N ignored his low-key compliment and she tried to get straight to the point. “Are you the Grandmaster I’ve heard so much about?” Y/N put on a fake but very sweet smile, attempting to flatter the man who seemed to enjoy it. She learned quickly that this Grandmaster was like a powerful dog that had to be fed with compliments – that way they could become friends. Manipulating him shouldn’t be too hard, right?

Well she was both right and wrong. She didn’t end up being a fighter, instead, she got into his inner circle with her charming act and she picked up clues piece by piece. Y/N had to admit the parties could get extreme and waking up in stranger’s beds wasn’t ideal, but she genuinely had fun for once. Perhaps blowing off some steam by partying and mingling couldn’t hurt too much. After all, Y/N had spent the last five years in her shell, surrounded by hate, anger and misery.

Weeks passed by quickly, very quickly on Scrapper 142’s couch. Her actual name was Brunnhilde, she was a Valkyrie. Y/N and Brunnhilde were wasted one night and Y/N saw her tattoo. Sure, there wasn’t much they could hide when they were both naked. Against all odds, they became friends and it was very beneficial to Y/N who never forgot about her plan.

All was well until someone else from Asgard ended up on Sakaar.

Y/N had picked up Brunnhilde’s ways of Scrapping to earn some credits while staying on Sakaar. It was a usual day when she saw something entering Sakaar’s atmosphere and fast. It’s like a bolt of green lightning struck the trash land. Y/N had to check it out.

Her ship landed on the ground only minutes after she saw the green object, or person, she had no idea. No one else had arrived yet which was perfect, she could take her time. Y/N grabbed a weapon that shot out obedience disks. She only needed that and her magic as she walked outside. As usual, there was a horrible stank outside. Space junk and bodies were rotting all around them. Y/N saw a body on the ground, back faced towards her. Once she saw long, black locks and an emerald green cape, she almost turned away and left. That’s when she took a deep breath and reminded herself that Loki was dead. It couldn’t possibly be him, right?

But the closer she got, the more she saw. And sure as hell, it was him. She could recognize his face from thousands of miles away. Seeing him on the ground, completely helpless, covered in small cuts and fresh bruises was almost too much for her. For a moment, she could only stare at him in utter disbelief and shock. The heartache from half a decade ago was returning and it hurt just as much, but she’d be damned to show it.

Whatever the story was behind it, she had to know. But he was unconscious and other Scrappers would love to find him. Biting her teeth together and swallowing her tears, she dragged his weak body into her ship. His scent emerged into her nostrils and reminded her of so many shared nights.

“Get yourself together!” Y/N growled at herself and dumped Loki’s body on the floor of the ship. Perhaps it was a bit harsh, but she didn’t want to hold onto him longer than needed. She didn’t want to soften up for him after what he did.

She locked the entrance to the ship and sat down, resting her head against her hands as she attempted to think. She had no idea how he was alive, what she would do to him or if he was going to hurt her even more. After pondering for a while and feeling how her shock just increased, she had to get answers. Y/N stood up and walked to Loki who was still on the ground. He looked terrified even though he was passed out. It’s like shock was imprinted on his resting face. Y/N wondered what he saw before ending up on Sakaar. Could it be Thanos?

Y/N groaned and pushed those thoughts away. The only right answers would come from him. So, Y/N gently shook him by his shoulder with her foot until he opened his eyes. Loki looked right at her and it was dead quiet around them for a moment. Y/N’s heart yearned for him, she wanted to wrap him into her arms, but she refused to do that. Instead, she put on a stern mask and grabbed the weapon, having no intentions to use it though. She wanted him to know that she was not the woman she used to be.

“Am I dead?”

“Newsflash, Loki! You’re not, but you sure let everyone think so.”

Loki sat up, never taking his eyes off Y/N. He seemed dazed. Flashes of what had happened only a few minutes earlier were fresh on his mind. He remembered Odin’s death, Thor’s rage, Hela. But once he saw her after believing he never would see her again; his mouth went dry. She stood there, looking at him with anger burning in her E/C eyes. Loki could hardly believe his eyes. He didn’t even know what to do. Now, several years later, there was no use in pretending to be the monster he made out of himself, but he didn’t know if he could let go of his regret and beg for forgiveness. Could he put her through that?

He looked away from her judging gaze and he saw the small, odd weapon that was in her hand. It felt like a punch in his gut, she was furious! He had to be careful but at the same time, he almost wanted her to be mad at him.

It became obvious that Loki wasn’t going to break the silence and Y/N was impatient.

“How are you alive?”

Loki remembered the exact moment he almost died. No one would ever know but he actually sacrificed himself to Thor. He could’ve died when Thor left his body on Svartalfheim but something miraculous kept him alive. What it was, Loki wasn’t sure, but he told himself it was his mother from Valhalla. How could he possibly explain the past five years to her? From the moment he broke her heart by telling her that everything they had together, all the good and the bad, were lies. He told her she was amusement for him. Now he felt rotten just thinking back.

“Answer me!” Y/N demanded harshly, taking a step closer to Loki. She put the little disk shooter underneath Loki’s jaw so she could tilt his head up, forcing him to look at her. It was astonishing how he hadn’t gotten up yet to mock her and drag her down. Something terrible must’ve happened before he arrived.

It didn’t matter. She wasn’t going to let herself care about that. What they had in the past should remain there.

Loki didn’t flinch when Y/N put the cold metal object against his neck. He didn’t know what it did, and he didn’t want to find it. Although he knew she probably hated his gut, he doubted she’d hurt him. “It’s a long story, Y/N.”

His voice made Y/N’s stomach twist. She hated herself for missing it. She hated that his voice still affected her but the was proud she had learnt to hide her feelings. To him, he looked like a whole new person. Loki looked her up and down and noticed how different she was, even her attire had changed. Y/N was wearing a skin-tight, white bodysuit that hugged her curves just right, long red boots and a dark red cape, much less elegant than Asgardian capes. It was short and rigged. Y/N’s arms were bare, and she wore golden jewellery that spiralled from her wrist all the way to her upper arm. He even saw scars that weren’t there before. They weren’t neat so he figured they came from battles. She had changed.

The biggest difference was her cold and harsh exterior. He looked at her and her face didn’t soften up like before. He knew that he had burnt her innocence and sweetness to ashes. It hurt, more than he wanted to admit.

“You’re not in a hurry, are you? Start talking.” Y/N was getting angry again. The silence was messing with her head. If he didn’t care, why couldn’t he speak? It bothered her that Loki looked at her so carefully. She felt vulnerable.

Loki looked at her neck. He knew they weren’t together anymore but nevertheless, seeing a dark purple, almost red hickey decorating her skin hurt. Seeing that someone else had gotten the pleasure of touching her was like a stab to the heart. She had moved on, hadn’t she? Loki’s throat felt tight. So much was going on and it was too much – even for him. Asgard was in danger but here he was, in Y/N’s ship, his fate in her hands. “Where shall I begin?” He put on a fake smile, putting up the act from five years ago. He was not going to hurt her any further by explaining how he lied. She had gone through enough because of him. Lying furthermore should be smooth, he was the god of lies after all.

“How about you explain how you’re alive and where you’ve been. Maybe, just maybe I won’t throw you in the lion’s den.” By that, Y/N meant the arena. She knew damn well the Grandmaster would pay her a huge sum for Loki, but she also knew Loki could have answers that she desperately needed. “You’re so great with words, aren’t you? You better use them.”

“Someone still cares,” Loki taunted her, putting his best effort into acting like the fool he was before. He was aware it was terrible, but he had no choice. He decided to push her buttons a little bit more, just to study her reaction. “I see you took some Asgardian goods with you.”

“You know I could electrocute you, right?” Y/N pressed the lips of the disc shooter against his neck, only to threaten him of course. Sure, he probably deserved it, but she didn’t actually want to hurt him. Only a few years ago she was the one who stitched up his wounds and washed off his blood. “Besides, Thor gave them to me. Turns out being in good terms with him is quite handy,” Y/N pushed Loki’s buttons as well, knowing damn well how Loki hated that.

Loki pulled his lips into a thin line. The hickey was almost right in front of his eyes now and he believed Y/N did it on purpose, to shove it in his face that she didn’t care at all. Did Thor make it? Loki wished it was anyone else but his brother. Was she over him? Loki believed it – at least to some extent. How could she still care, after everything he put her through? He didn’t just break her heart, he absolutely destroyed it!

But she would never know he did it for her. She was better off without him. Loki told that to himself to make himself feel better. He had to get away from her and fast but it wouldn’t be easy.

“I’ve been on Asgard. Thor broke me out of my cell, begging for my help. It was a perfect opportunity for me to slither out of that little cell. Then I had to get Odin out of the picture…”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Y/N almost yelled. Sure, Odin was a terrible person but she couldn’t imagine Loki killing him. He hadn’t gone that far, right?

Loki rolled his eyes. “I sent him away. He was on Midgard until Thor and I returned to him. He told us about our sister, Hela, who is currently set to destroy Asgard. Then he died-“

“Slow down!” Y/N stopped him. She put the disc shooter away and took a deep breath. She attempted to forget about her personal issues with Loki and tried to focus on Asgard. Were the people in danger? Who was this Hela? Their sister? She had never even heard of her. ”Odin’s dead?”

“I told you, it’s a long story, Y/N.”

[PART 3]

Author’s Note: I feel like this chapter is just building the plot but the next part will be a bit more fun (I hope). What are your thoughts? :) It’s kind of funny how this turned into a series.

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TAGS: @heather-destler @jessiejunebug @percyjackson886 @scorpionchild81 @snow-massacre (you asked me to fix your broken heart) @yes-honey-work @elliecapper @phluffyphantom

 if you want to be removed/added, just let me know! :)

[caps-lockdown]

Operation: Man Flu

Alright guys here it is the first part of my new series! I thought of this awhile ago but my life has been absolutely bonkers lately and I didn’t have a chance to get started on it til now! I hope ya’ll enjoy this insane and (hopefully funny) romp I’ve come up with.

Tagging @kaytizzle and @cuffski for now, let me know in the comments if you would like to be tagged for future parts!

Summary: As a hacker nobody agent of S.H.I.E.L.D you get roped into what might possibly be your worst nightmare come to life. Will you survive the long weekend? Will you have a chance to get closer to a certain reserved Captain during this extremely stressful (and hilarious) situation?

Pairings: Steve x Shield Agent Female Reader!

Words: 3,397

Ratings/Warnings: I’m going to put hard R here for the whole thing because there’s going to be cussing, mentions of sickness, alcohol consumption, physical fights, mental breakdowns. Jealousy, love triangles (sort of), angst, drama, and lots of crude humor. Just strap in.

Also no Beta so my mistakes are my only thing to claim, I don’t own any characters either, with the exception of the reader, a doctor, and some random characters here and there.

It is in Y/N (Your Name) L/N (Last Name) format. Enjoy!

 Part One

“Y/N I need more water!”

“Y/N my eyes hurt!”

“Y/N can you tell Bucky and Tony to shut the hell up? I’m trying to sleep off this headache!”

“Shut up Wilson!”

Pinching the bridge of your nose, nostrils flaring, you released a slow and irritated breath. The shouting was coming from the makeshift quarantine section in the Tower. Never in a million years would you be able to guess that this was going to be your job at some point. In fact, you would have laughed in anyone’s face if they told you that at some point in your life you would be stuck in Stark Tower taking care of a bunch of sick and over dramatic man children. This was supposed to be your weekend in. You were supposed to be comfy and cozy surrounded by happy things, not a bunch of sick cry babies. You were so getting a raise when all of this was over.

You looked to the ceiling praying to anyone upstairs for just a small moment of peace. The moment of peace could come in the form of a giant mallet to knock all of the whiny men in the next room unconscious. Perhaps a dart gun with Nyquil loaded ammunition? Anything to help you cope with being stuck with this lot of ill idiots for the next 48 hours. Why of all people did it have to be you? You were not someone that saw The Avengers in close quarters, you were sort of work friends, but you never thought your friendship would be put to the test quite like this. Who were they to ask this of you anyway? It’s not like you have any medical experience. Hell you get squeamish just thinking about blood. You rarely got sick. You cried watching Grey’s anatomy for cripes’ sake! You must have been cursed by some otherworldly power. Loki was messing with you. That had to be it. You were sure that had to be the reason behind this cruel and unusual punishment.

“Y/N BUCKY KEEPS STARING AT ME!”

“Well you keep sounding like you’re gonna puke Stark! And if you puke I puke! So don’t puke!”

“Damn I need a drink.” You uttered before squaring your shoulders and heading back into the fray. When did it all go to hell in a hand basket?

~~Friday Morning~~

0600

The crisp early autumn air made its way into your room from your half opened window. The birds chirping slowly woke you from your slumber as your eyes opened to take in the leaves changing colors on the trees outside. The smell of coffee starting to brew at your small desk invaded your senses and you smiled out to the rising sun in a good mood.

Your alarm clock went off which caused you to scream and nearly throw it out the window, groaning as you heard the rumble of the Quinjet touching down a few floors up. So much for a quiet, easy day. They were back early.

Dragging yourself out of bed, you hastily threw on your uniform and secured your hair up, reaching for your travel mug to hold your life juice as you sloshed it into the container and headed out the door.

Life hadn’t always been this fast paced for you. You were never a morning person, and even though it had been years that you have been with S.H.I.E.L.D, these caffeine fuelled mornings were something that never got easier with time. Being an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D just wasn’t a picnic for you most days, but you certainly had it better than some of the others in your line of work. You weren’t one of the people willing to put their life on the line out in the field. In fact it was the complete opposite. You were behind the scenes, knee deep in technology. Hacking files, constantly bypassing security, you name it. You never had to leave the comfort of your own country. It was hard work, but it was also your calling. It had been since you were a teenager in high school. It was a habit that got you caught several times breaking into the school security systems, changing when the bell would ring so you and your friends could get out a few minutes early. Especially during Geometry with Miss. Wilkins.

You had been given a scholarship to New York City College of Technology after you graduated high school and you packed your bags and moved from your small town in Ohio to the beautiful state of New York. After graduating in record time with high marks you were recruited by Agent Coulson to join S.H.I.E.L.D. You accepted without any hesitation (Along with constant reassurance to your always worried mother that you would not actually be in the field. Ever.)

After a few years, and more importantly the battle of New York, Nick Fury created a small unit specifically trained to work alongside The Avengers. It was truly amazing getting to move into the Tower, always being there in case of emergencies. Which there often were plenty of. You were under the command of Agent Keaton, your unit possessing a mere ten agents total. No one knew who you were, or what you did, except The Avengers and a small number of others. You were shadows, able to breach the toughest security, get what you needed, and get out without a trace. Or in most cases, get Earth’s Mightiest Heroes into places they previously didn’t have access to. Everyone called you “The Ghosts of Stark Tower”. The hours were sometimes long, missions often stressful, but it suited you just fine. One of the many upsides was knowing that you were making a difference in this messed up world.

The down side was these way too early mornings. At least it was Friday and you could look forward to the three day holiday weekend ahead of you. It was Labor Day weekend which meant that after today you wouldn’t have to return to work until the following Tuesday, unless an earth shattering catastrophe happened. Trudging your way down the hallways your mind drifted to the future that awaited you at 1800 hours. All you had planned was a giant fort of blankets and pillows to call sanctuary as you caught up on the six books that sat unloved in a box by your bed. They were feeling extremely neglected since you had gotten most of them as birthday gifts, which had been some time ago now.

Stepping into the elevator you let out a wistful sigh as it began to climb the few floors leading to the floor that held the landing pad for the Quinjet. Smiling to yourself as you day dreamed about being nestled in a blanket cocoon and not seeing a soul for 72 hours, you couldn’t stop in time and ran smack into Sam Wilson as you exited the elevator and took a sharp turn. His back of toned muscles acted as a wall as it threw you backwards and onto the floor with a loud and ungraceful oomfph.

“Shit. Sorry Y/N. My head isn’t on straight today.” He offered a hand to help you up which you gladly took, pulling yourself up and pretending to brush yourself off.

“It’s fine Sam. Ya miss Bucky that much?”

“Ha. Ha. Ya I missed him like a hole in the head.” You snickered as the two of you made your way down the hall together.

Sam Wilson and you went way back. Back to before you were working (usually) with the Avengers. Back when you were just starting out and he wasn’t cleared for all the “fun” missions, as he called it. Those were the days when you trained together, ate together. Hell you even shared a bed together. It was only once, and nothing romantic happened, but you two only got closer because of it. You didn’t know where you would be without him in your life. He always seemed to know what to say to make you feel better after a hard day, and he always had you laughing. It usually bummed you out when he went along for missions, so you were extra thankful he opted to stay behind this past week when they announced a new mission would take place. It had been nice spending time with each other outside of work hours, catching up, shooting the breeze.

He was one of the only people here that seemed to see you for everything that you were. With the exception of today of course.

“Any issues with the mission? Why are they back two days early?”

Sam raised an eyebrow as you reached the double doors that lead outside to the landing pad.

“Now how did you know they were supposed to be back in two days? That was classified information L/N.” You quickly shot your eyes to the ground, releasing a heavy sigh.

“I…I may have hacked into the mission details…”

The look Sam gave you made you bite your lower lip in embarrassment before he merely shook his head in response.

“Damn Y/N, you should have come with a warning label. If you missed Steve that much you could have just called him.” You swatted his arm as he pushed the door open for you, the fresh air hitting you in the face and causing your eyes to water.

Sam had known about your small crush on Steve Rogers, otherwise known to many as Captain America, since the first time you had met the larger than life super soldier. He pegged you as a giddy school girl from the gate and you found yourself threatening his life on a weekly basis to keep his mouth shut about the whole thing. Steve and you had a professional work related friendship, nothing more. It’s not like what you and Sam had, and you had come to accept that it never would be that. Or more, no matter how often you caught yourself thinking about it.

“Why would I miss Steve Rogers when Sam Wilson has been here to keep me company?” You batted your eyelashes at him, causing the man to chuckle as you neared the group of fellow agents that were gathered around the jet.

“Nice try slick, but I’m still telling Tony you broke into the mission files. Again.”

You pouted at him but he only clicked his tongue at you.

“I swear Tony just needs to give you a raise already and put you in charge of that tech stuff here. His old ass mind is clearly slipping.”

“You suck Wilson. I was only worried.”

“Worried ol’ Blue eyes was gonna take a dirt nap? Come on Y/N,  he’s stronger than that.”

“Actually I was worried for Tony and his,” you made air quotations “Old ass mind”

You and Sam’s laughter was quickly silenced as the jet ramp lowered and you watched Steve Rogers exit, a deathly pale Tony leaning on him as they disembarked.

“Shit. He looks worse than normal. Pepper is gonna pitch a fit when she sees him.” Sam remarked, the team headed towards you.

Your eyes couldn’t help but dance across the Team’s faces. They all looked beat. Thor and Bruce seemed deep in conversation, their hushed voices angrily biting at each other. Clint kept quiet, focusing his vision forward and not looking at anyone. You noticed Nat and Wanda were missing, only for a moment before you realized they were on a separate mission elsewhere. They were slated to come back sometime next week.

Your vision drifted over to Tony, taking in his sickly appearance. The color was drained from his face, the area around his eyes dark and his body too weak to walk very far. Bucky walked to his left, his worried expression evident as they neared you and Sam through the crowd.

You quickly snapped your line of sight to Captain Rogers, your pulse picking up just a little at the sight of him. His uniform was still in really good shape considering how ragged he was looking. Apparently he had forgotten his razor or something because his facial hair had grown a considerable amount since they had been gone. His strong jaw was set tightly, his lips in a thin line while his large intimidating frame effortlessly helped the injured billionaire along.

“Why do I have a feeling my weekend plans just got cancelled?” You grumbled, clearing a path for the Captain as the rest of the team followed behind him, none of them sparing you a look. You were used to it by now.

“Wilson, debrief. Now.” Rogers’ voice boomed with authority and you couldn’t help but grimace in Wilson’s direction.

“Sorry Sam, tough luck.”

“L/N you too.”

Jumping at the acknowledgement you cast a worried glance to Sam who merely shrugged before picking up his pace to catch up to the group headed into the building. That could not be good at all. You followed after him, struggling to keep your mind calm with all the questions currently swimming in it. It didn’t take you long to reach the small conference room, paramedics cutting off your journey about halfway to take Tony into the medical bay to run tests.

You quickly took a seat next to Sam, everyone at the table looking to Steve for answers you were fairly certain he didn’t have. It didn’t mean you couldn’t admire his tall, gorgeous body though as he stood in front of all of you. Nope, you’d drink in the sight of him any day and any time you could. It wasn’t illegal to look after all, even if most of the time he saw right through you. Just like a ghost.

“Look L/N, I’m going to give you the extremely short version,” Steve started, blue eyes staring into yours and you could only bring yourself to nod. His voice was hard, short, he was clearly on edge with worry.

“Might as well shorten it even more Rogers, L/N here already hacked the mission files. She knows the mission.”

You could only give Sam a “What the hell?” look, trying not to let the disappointed sigh that came from Steve’s lips sink into your stomach like a boulder of guilt.

“As much as I want to be angry with you L/N, I need to know how much you know. It might help speed things up so we can get to work faster.”

All eyes seemed to shift to you as you began to fidget with the edge of the table, training your eyes to stay focused on the smooth wood surface as you recalled the details you briefly scanned last week.

“You were all sent to Tal-q’eiek to retrieve an energy source for another planet…Mon…mon something..who’s current environmental health is unstable. The planet’s self defense measures made most of the planet toxic to keep predators from other neighboring worlds away.” You started, looking up at the people around the table as they all nodded in agreement.

“ You were made special suits and would split up into teams to search the planet for the energy source. You were sent out of your element considering Danvers was unavailable to join you, as well as Quill and his team being currently MIA as well.” Taking a deep breath you couldn’t help but notice the smallest of smiles on Steve’s face as you finished divulging what you knew.

“Correct L/W, I’m always impressed by your sharp memory.” Steve complimented you and you had to grasp the chair to make sure you wouldn’t fall out of it. It was the first and so far only time Captain Rogers had made a positive comment in your direction. Usually he was far too busy to pay you or any of the other Ghosts of Stark Tower any mind. Not that you could blame him. If you were being honest, you didn’t even think he knew your first name for the first two years you worked together.

“So based on your knowledge, what conclusion can you come to on your own?” Thor pried, your gaze moving to catch his.

“ My assumption is that Tony was simply  in the wrong place at the wrong time and managed to inhale some of the toxic air of the planet, and that’s why you had to come back early. Because he’s showing symptoms of a sickness and you didn’t know what to do.”

“Two for two L/W, well done.”You felt a swell of undeserving pride at Steve’s words, wondering if this was to be your Christmas gift or something. Two compliments in one day? Within minutes of each other? You most certainly weren’t complaining but it did make you a bit nervous, especially when those beautiful blue eyes weren’t leaving yours.

“So now what? We just wait for the doctors to come back and tell us Tony is going to be ok?” Sam’s voice broke you out of your trance, Steve clearing his throat and Thor nodding in agreement.

“Unfortunate, but until we know more there isn’t anything to be done.” The other blonde’s deep voice boomed and you couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of dread.

“I don’t understand why I was needed here…” You trailed off, Bruce chuckling at your statement causing you to blush with embarrassment.

“You never know when we may need a Ghost on our side Y/N.” Bucky smiled at you, giving you a small wink.

“Yea besides,” Clint continued, “We actually like you. You’re not some stuck up, loud mouthed, cocky know it all like some of the others.”

“You shouldn’t talk about Tony like that, after all he’s the one sick right now.”

Your comment earned you a chorus of laughter.

“I’m gonna put that in Stark’s Christmas card this year.” Sam got out in between laughs, patting you on the back.

“That’s my Y/N, always one with the fast quips.”

His statement caused you to beam in response, allowing yourself to be grabbed in a small side hug. The expression on Steve’s face was a bit puzzling to you as you looked at him, but no sooner had it appeared, it was gone.

What seemed to be hours passed, but your eyes shot up at the sound of one of the doctors on standby walking into the conference room, her HASMAT suit creating a hideous scratching noise against the floor as she moved. You recognized her as Doctor Kelly Hooper, she had been working for Stark for years. She was a short and stout woman, with dark blonde hair that was always up in a tight bun on top of her head.

“What’s the diagnosis Doctor?” Clint tried, his voice humorless despite the poor attempt at a joke.

“Firstly, you should know that Mister Stark is going to be alright.”

The entire table collectively sighed in relief at the Doctor’s news, a huge weight seemingly being lifted off of everyone’s shoulders. You and Tony didn’t always see eye to eye on things, but you still respected the hell out him, and definitely didn’t want him dying anytime soon.

“However, there is some bad news.” The older woman continued, turning her attention to Steve.

“He’s going to be sick the next forty eight to seventy two hours, and will need constant care. He’s going to experience the worst equivalent of the flu we’ve seen in years. Fever, vomiting, dehydration, chills, extreme pain, and maybe even hallucinations. What’s also troublesome is we don’t have the proper staff to take care of him, as most of the day and night crew have left for holiday, and we can’t risk taking him to a hospital where it might spread.”

“Got it, can it get any worse than babysitting a sick Tony?” Bucky groaned out, his head hitting the table.

“Actually it can Mister Barnes. I’m afraid the illness he has contracted from the foreign planet is very peculiar in the fact that it only seems to attack beings with the combination of XY chromosomes.”

“Doc, are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Bucky suddenly looked up at Doctor Hooper, who had now locked eyes with the winter solider before nodding her head.

“That’s right Mister Barnes, any male who has come within contact with Mister Stark within the last twenty four hours has a seventy five to eighty five percent chance of falling ill as well.”

[catchester]

RULE | Chapter One

Blurb: Loki won at the end of Avengers and imposed his rule on the people of Earth. Now Thor has returned to free humanity from his tyranny . . . only the humans don't seem very keen on that idea.

Former anti-Loki terrorist, now Loki's fiancé, Rhiannon, meets Thor and his warriors and attempts to show him the improvements that Loki has made to society. Can Thor put aside his prejudices, or will he ruin all the good Loki has done under the guise of freeing the Earth?

Chapter One

Present Day

Rhiannon watched as the beam of light hit Trafalgar Square and after sharing a look with the guards on either side of her, she took a deep breath, plastered a smile on her face, and prepared to greet their guests.

“I am Thor of Asgard,” a voice boomed before the light of the bifrost had even dimmed. Just in case everyone hadn’t noticed the giant beam of light, the lightning strike hitting his hammer a moment later, along with the accompanying thunder, ensured that hardly a soul in greater London failed to notice his arrival. “I have come for the traitor, Loki! Where is he?”  

“Oh crap,” Rhiannon sighed, her smile falling away.  

The passers-by were crowding around the arrivals, jeering and this being a busy metropolis like London, the crowd quickly swelled. 

“Help me make a path,” she said to her two guards as people began throwing things, and they helped her push through the crowd to the middle where Thor and his friends were waiting.  

“Everyone, please,” she turned her back to Thor, trusting her guards to literally watch her back while she addressed the crowd.  

The crowd quieted almost immediately.

“Nothing is going to happen to Loki, you can go about your business safe in the knowledge that Loki invited his brother here, and all is well in the House of Friggason.” 

The people now just looked confused and curious.  

“Please do not jeer our honoured guests.” She ducked as a coffee cup sailed past her and judging from the startled grunt she heard behind her, hit found its target. “Or throw things at them.” She lowered her voice and tried injecting some warmth. “Remember the uncertainty you felt when Loki became our leader, and try to understand that our visitors know nothing of how life on Earth has changed in the past eight years. Be kind to them.”

There were some murmurs from the crowd, but mostly they just seemed curious now, and eager to see what was going to happen.  

Rhiannon turned back to the Aesir. 

“Prince Thor,” she bowed but not particularly low. “Welcome to Earth.” She stood upright and kept her gaze on Thor, ignoring for the moment the Warriors Three and Sif, who had accompanied him.  

“Where are the others we travelled with,” Thor demanded, “the Einherjar?” 

“Loki does not wish to fight with you, Thor. He couldn’t allow you to bring your soldiers here, but he allowed your friends through. He hopes that you will show patience and allow me to show you how well the Earth is doing.” 

Thor looked around and saw a world much like the one he’d had come to when he was banished to Earth by Odin, except no one here was looking kindly at him now.  

“Where is Loki?” Sif demanded, stepping forward. 

“I’ll take you to him. I’m Rhiannon, by the way, people generally call me Rhi or Ray.” She held her hand out and after a hesitation, Thor shook it. “These are my friends, Sarah and Peter.” 

“Guards, more like,” Sif murmured.  

“True,” Rhiannon nodded. “Loki insisted, I’m afraid, but we all know that human guards could do little against Aesir warriors.” 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lady Rhiannon,” Thor butted in to ease tensions. “These are my friends, Fandral, Volstagg, Hogun, and the Lady Sif.” 

Rhiannon bowed her head at each as Thor pointed them out. “Very pleased to meet you all, I’ve heard much about you. If you’ll come this way, I’ll take you to Loki.”  

She turned and walked away, her guards staying close but not crowding her. The crowd parted for them and slowly began to disperse, although all eyes remained on them.  

Thor followed after her but he was clearly nonplussed. 

“I’m a little confused by events,” he admitted, falling into step beside her.  

“I’m sure,” she smiled. “I’ve arranged lunch not far from here, so we’ll have plenty of time to chat.”  

“Why did my army not come through the portal?” he asked again.  

“Loki’s magic has been keeping you off Earth, or Midgard, as you call it. When he decided to let you visit, we thought it best not to allow the Einherjar as well. We don’t want to start another war, and I’m afraid humans would be sadly out matched by your people.”  

“You speak as if you would fight for Loki.”  

“Did you not hear those people when you first arrived?”  

“It was a trick, some kind of mind control. Loki clearly has you all in his thrall!”  

“No.” Rhiannon smiled and shook her head. “When Loki first arrived, there was much resistance. I was a part of it, and I tried to assassinate him on many occasions, but over time it became clear that he wanted what was best for the Earth.” 

“I don’t believe you,” Thor challenged.  

“I don’t expect you do, but a lot has happened in the eight years you’ve been gone.” She stepped up to a door and opened it. “Please, after you.”  

Thor strode into the restaurant and looked around. “Where is Loki, I thought you were taking us to him?”  

“I am, but I didn’t say he would be joining us for lunch. Loki is in Europe at the moment, and we will be joining him there.” 

They were shown to a table and all sat down.  

“If Loki knew we were coming, why not open a portal to his location?” Volstagg asked.  

“Because I advised him not to,” Rhiannon explained. “From everything he’s told me about the Aesir, you’re a ‘hit first and ask questions later’ kind of people. I and others knew you wouldn’t believe anything Loki had to say, so we advised him to be elsewhere when you arrived. I volunteered to come and meet you, then as we journey to him, you can see for yourself how happy we are under his rule.”  

“No, it’s a trick,” Fandral said, but with a slight smile on his face, as though he expected Loki to pop out yelling ‘Surprise!’

“There is no trick,” Rhiannon assured them, looking to Sarah and Peter who nodded in agreement. 

“Honestly, life is way better now,” Sarah agreed.  

“And our wages have gone up like 70%. I think the average wage increase is about that too.” 

“And what do you do?” Thor asked them, sounding wary.  

“We’re police officers,” Sarah replied.  

“Don’t you have a uniform?”  

“I asked them not to wear it,” Rhiannon explained. “I thought it best if we all dressed casually.” 

“But what about weapons?” Hogun asked.  

“British police don’t carry guns,” Peter explained.  

“We have got Tasers,” Sarah offered, “although I seriously doubt that scares you lot.”  

Thor shuddered slightly but too much was happening for Rhiannon to ask the reason he disliked Tasers. 

“We’re here to make sure Rhiannon is safe, crowd control, that sort of thing.” Peter added, but Rhiannon wished he hadn’t said that.  

“Crowd control? Do you often get mobbed?” Fandral asked her.  

“Since her engagement to Loki was announced, she does,” Sarah offered.  

“You’re marrying Loki?” Sif sounded disgusted.  

“Yes,” Rhiannon said, no shame on her face at all; she might not have wanted to address this but she wasn’t ashamed. “The head of the London resistance is marrying the nasty invader she tried to kill three times. Is that okay with you?”  

Sif scoffed but Fandral laughed, asking, “Should I offer my congratulations?”  

“No need to sound so hesitant,” Rhiannon assured him. “I’m very happy with him.” 

“I think perhaps you’d better start at the beginning,” Thor suggested.  

***

December 2012

The plan had worked perfectly. Over the past few months Rhiannon and three of her comrades had worked their way into Loki’s personal staff and carefully, a little each day, smuggled in the explosives and equipment necessary to make a bomb. 

The electronic components they smuggled past security inside a mobile phone and the plastic explosive was moulded into the shape of a teddy bear and clipped onto her handbag, like a keyring. It had the consistency of plasticine or playdough and after being kept in the fridge overnight, was quite solid, she and the others just had to be careful not to knock it on anything. 

Rhiannon was employed as one of Loki’s secretaries, her job, along with five other women, was to distil reports from around the world into helpful bulletins for Loki, ranked in order of urgency. 

Rhiannon had got the job because as well English, she was fluent in Spanish, French and German, as well as knowing a little Portuguese and Dutch.

Her three co-conspirators were working as cleaners since that gave them access to his office, and some of the cleaning chemicals they used, such as acetone and hydrogen peroxide, could be used to make bombs and would increase the payload of their device. Each evening they cleaned his office and day by day, they built the bomb, sometimes hiding electrical components, sometimes hiding the plastic explosives. The cleaning fluids were being ordered a little at a time and would be brought to his office on the cleaning cart and would just be used to enhance the explosive power of the plastics. 

The cleaners worked in pairs and work schedules changed daily for security reasons, so those cleaning Loki‘s office weren’t always paired with a fellow rebel and able to leave supplies, but slowly they built up enough plastic explosives and they waited patiently until two of them were tasked with cleaning his office on the same night.

Since Loki’s timetable varied, Rhiannon’s task was too manually set off the bomb when he entered the office. She, along with the other translators, worked from an office near Loki’s so they were on hand for breaking news, and she had a clear view of him arriving each morning. 

That day she got in early so that the bomb could be detonated the moment Loki arrived, hopefully before he had any meetings so that no one else would be hurt. The bomb was in his desk so Loki would receive the full blast, while they had calculated that this building should be able to withstand the force of the bomb, although with the added cleaning chemicals, Rhiannon wasn’t as sure of that as she would have liked. It was possible that some people may be hurt but with a little luck, she was confident that Loki would be the only fatality. 

There had been other attempts on his life, of course, but they probably hadn’t planned as well as Rhiannon and her friends had, but she knew their plan was good and she really thought that they would succeed. She thought that the other assassination attempts had failed because of incompetence, or poor planning, or any number of mistakes which could derail even the best plans. 

Well her plan would not be derailed, she thought as she spied Loki walking past her office. She grabbed the detonator, which looked like a mobile phone and she jogged out of her office, walking behind Loki. 

It was still early so the place was quiet, most people who had arrived for work were in the breakroom, eating breakfast or topping up caffeine levels before they got started. She saw two other people in their offices as she passed them and she could only hope that they would be okay. 

Loki cut a very elegant figure in his suits and were he anything other than a monster, she would be admitting the view right now, but he was and she had a job to do. 

Her breathing was ragged and she did her best to control it, worried that even from ten feet away he might hear her, but he never turned around. His assistant wasn’t outside his office yet, and Rhiannon gave thanks that another person was out of danger. 

Loki entered his office and Rhiannon stopped moving as soon as his door closed. 

“One one-thousand,” she whispered. “Two one-thousand, three one-thousand.” The cleaning staff had carefully timed how long it took to walk from the door to sit behind the desk. “Seven one-thousand, eight one-thousand-”

Her sweaty thumb pressed the call button and . . . nothing happened. 

She pressed it again and again and again, stepping closer in case she was too far away, although this should work over a distance of 50 feet, she’d been told, and through walls. 

Then an almighty bang nocked her off her feet, just in time for a heavy wooden door to sail past where her head had been moments ago. 

They’d done it. They’d done it! People began to scream as she grinned. THEY’D DONE IT!!

It wasn’t until he walked out of his room, covered in soot and with his suit torn and scorched but otherwise unharmed, that the truth dawned on her. It wasn’t that those other people hadn’t failed or messed up, it was that human weapons couldn’t harm him. Well, maybe a nuke, but she didn’t have one of those handy. What she did have was the paring knife she had stolen from the kitchen weeks ago and stored in her desk.   

In for a penny, in for a pound, as her mum used to say, she got to her feet and with a primal scream, ran at him, the knife held before her.  

Needless to say, he stopped her with ease by grabbing her wrist.  

He looked furious but after a moment his features cleared as he recognised her and she would swear he looked hurt. 

She almost felt bad, after all, he had trusted her. But it didn’t matter how personable he was, he was an alien conqueror and he  deserved  to have his staff turn on him.

His features hardened once again but other than perhaps holding her wrist a little too tightly, he didn’t harm her, even although she kicked and struck at him in an attempt to get free.  

“Take her to the cells in the basement,” he told the security guards as they arrived. 

She was dragged away but she turned back as she heard Loki roar, just in time to see him put his fist through the wall beside his door. 

Although they hadn’t come into work, her friends and co-conspirators were quickly rounded up and placed in the cells beside her by lunchtime. 

She expected torture, or at least questioning. Instead her cell was reasonably comfortable, the food was the same as was served in the palace above and there were no screams of torture from the other prisoners. She kept asking what was happening but the guards wouldn’t tell her. 

After her second night in the cell she was taken out and she thought that now was when the horror would begin, especially when she was brought in front of Loki. The guards sat her down on a chair opposite the desk Loki sat behind, then they stood either side of her, guarding her in case she made a run for it, which, even with horrible odds, she was seriously considering.  

“Leave us,” Loki commanded and although the guards shared a look, they left the room.  

Loki watched her like predator and although she shifted uncomfortably in her seat, she stared back and tried not to show how frightened she was.  

Finally he sat forward. “Why did you try to kill me?” he asked his tone conversational, and perhaps a little confused.  

“You invaded my planet. You enslaved my people!” 

“I’m trying to help!” he yelled, slamming his fist on the desk and causing her to flinch. He seemed disgusted by her cowardice and he got up and began pacing.  

“We don’t need your help!” she yelled, finding her courage once again.

“Of course you do!” he snapped back. “Your politicians are corrupt, you place profit over human life, you allow the elite few to hoard your wealth and resources, you pollute your planet, harm and kill each other- I could go on. You need help. Help I can give.”  

“We believe in democracy and we didn’t elect you,  King  Loki.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Whatever you’re called, we will never agree to your rule because it’s undemocratic.”  

“Your system is flawed, your elected officials are out for themselves, not the people who elected them, and decisions are made via backroom deals, not the democratic process they would have you believe is happening.”  

“And you’re above it all?” she scoffed.  

“I simply want to make Midgard a better place.” 

“You can’t!”  

“I have,” he argued. “I’ve reversed as much damage to your atmosphere as I can, caused by your pollution. I’ve invested in new technologies, I have plans to improve the infrastructure globally, beginning with developing countries. Already drought and food shortages are almost a thing of the past.” 

“Yes, and people are working on those projects because you’re forcing them to! We are not slaves!”  

 “They aren’t slaves!” Loki growled. “They are paid a very fair wage for their work and no one has been forced into anything.”  

“Except living under your rule!” 

Loki gave an exasperated sigh and sat back down. “What would you do?” he demanded.  

“I don’t understand.”  

“If you were me, what would you do?”  

“Kill myself.” She glared at him. 

Loki glared right back. “Assume everything I’ve told you is true, that I want to help the people of Midgard, and that I have no suicidal tendencies. What would you do?”  

Rhiannon shook her head but the bark of laughter that usually accompanied such an action wouldn’t come, and instead she found herself actually considering the question. 

Then it occurred to her that he wanted something from her. 

“I’ll tell you, I’ll answer any weird and wonderful questions you may have, but only if you free my friends.”  

“The guards didn’t tell you? They’re already free.” 

“They’re…?”  

“Free, yes. No one was hurt so your only crime was property damage, and as you can see, I’ve already repaired that.”

He gestured around himself and she realised they were in the office that she had blown up, and it looked as good as new. She’d just assumed they were on a different floor or something. 

“Imprisoning you would only add credence to your claims that I’m a monster and I have no wish to martyr you or your friends.” He leaned his head back against his leather office chair and looked at the ceiling. “You can go too, if you wish. I don’t expect you’ll want to keep your job here, will you? It’s a shame, you were very professional.” 

“This is a trick.”  

“It’s not.” He looked over at her and sat forward. “Go on, go. Leave, see for yourself.” 

She didn’t move.  

“GO!” he yelled, bringing his hand down on the desk with such force that it sounded like a bullet and she flinched again, but that gave her the impetus she needed to leave so she ran from the room.  

She sprinted outside the building and found her friends waiting on the street. So he really had let them go.  

They seemed as bewildered by the turn of events as she was so they made their way to a local café so they could talk.  

They wondered if it was a trap, if perhaps they were bugged and were supposed to lead the authorities back to other members of the resistance, but they each went into the toilets and could find no bugs or homing devices.  

They bought new clothes and shoes anyway, dumping the old ones.  

They checked into a cheap hotel for a few nights but nothing happened, no strange people were seen watching or following them. Rhiannon even returned to the palace and waited outside a few times to see if they would follow her when she left, but nothing happened. She couldn’t help looking for signs of the blast while she dawdled though, although the only sign was some lighter bricks on the building’s exterior wall.

After a week her friends left London and returned to their families, but Rhiannon found herself returning to the palace.  

She knew now that Loki wasn’t going anywhere because human weapons simply didn’t kill him. A nuclear bomb might but since the news had reported they had all been disabled by some hackers, that was unlikely to be a viable option, for a while at least. So if Loki was their leader, then she could at least do something to help ensure that he ruled them well. What was the saying, if you can’t beat them, join them? 

She stood outside the palace for the best part of an hour, walking up and down the street, trying to pluck the courage up to approach. 

She’d been surprised when she’d heard that Loki had taken over St James's Palace rather than somewhere like Buckingham Palace or Westminster, somewhere more intimidating and with more prestige. Built in the 1500s St James’s was really rather modest for a palace. 

He’d eventually expanded to take over Clarence House, Lancaster House and York House and Rhiannon suspected it wouldn’t be long until he had to clear out more surrounding buildings as his staff needs increased. 

Finally she decided she was being an idiot and taking her confidence in hand, she strode up to the security guards and handed them her bag. She saw them looking for the little teddy keychain that used to be attached to her bag but they didn’t say anything to her, just searched the bag and handed it back. 

She nodded in thanks and approached the reception desk.

“I’d like to see Loki,” she told the Linda, the building’s receptionist.  

“Is he expecting you?” Linda sneered. She liked Loki. Most people here did, or they pretended to.  

“No, but he asked me a question and I have an answer for him.” 

“He’s busy today but if you want to take a seat, I might be able to find five minutes for you.”  

Rhiannon knew Linda had no intention of letting her see Loki, but she knew she must be notorious around here and if she sat in the lobby for long enough, word would eventually reach Loki.  

***

Loki was trying to suppress a smirk as Rhiannon was led into his office, although he wasn’t exactly trying hard.  

“Couldn’t stay away?” he asked. “Because I’m sorry to inform you, but we’ve filled your position.” 

“You asked me a question, I thought you might want to hear the answer.” 

Loki considered her for a moment, then gestured to the chair opposite. She sat down but perched on the edge, unsure how her words would be taken. She couldn’t help glancing around however, looking for any trace of the bomb blast. 

“Would you like refreshments?” he asked, the picture of civility. He was wearing another beautifully tailored suit again, one she would admire if it were anyone else wearing it. 

“No, thank you.” The civility of the encounter unnerved her but she was used to controlling her fear around him.  

“Straight down to business then. So what’s the answer, what would you do if you were me?”  

 “If you’re really serious about being a good leader, I’d fire almost everyone around you.”  

His head tilted to the side as he considered her. “Interesting. I can’t wait to hear your reasoning.”  

“You’re surrounded by sycophants and dilettantes,” she explained. “Everyone on Earth hates you, except those who could see that you were… inevitable, and to protect their own interests they sided with you. People like that never tell you the truth because the truth can alienate, they only ever say either what they think you want to hear, or what benefits them.”  

He seemed receptive to her idea and she wondered if it had occurred to him too. 

“So who would you suggest I replace them with?” he asked.

“People who want the best for Earth, maybe even people who don’t like you and will tell you the brutal truth.” 

“And where do I find such people?”  

“I’d start with the Avengers,” she told him. “You’ve got a Russian in the Black Widow, then you have someone who has travelled extensively, often living among the lower classes with the Hulk, a billionaire in Iron Man, an orphan raised in care with Hawkeye and,” she smiled slightly, “a pensioner in Captain America. They're a fairly diverse group.” 

“You know a lot about the Avengers,” he noted. 

“Most resistance fighters do, they’re our inspiration.”  

Loki’s smile widened.  

“I’d add a few more women to that list,” she continued, “Make the balance of your advisers 50/50.” 

“And people from other continents,” Loki added.  

“Of course,” she nodded. “But I was going to suggest you have representatives from different countries and regions form a council, so they can tell you what they need because while there’ll be a lot in common in what each region needs, England for example, will need vastly different things to, say, the Middle East.” 

“What does the Middle East need that England does not?”  

“ISIS needs to be stopped, everyone needs to stop bombing Syria, which also needs rebuilding. Some regions still have misogynistic things like honour killings, female genital mutilation, some places don’t let women go out alone or drive. And that’s just off the top of my head.”  

“Good advice indeed,” he flashed her a predatory smile. “Thank you for coming back.”  

She scowled, unwilling to acknowledge that she felt good being praised by this monster, or that she liked his smile.

“Thank you for seeing me,” she stood up. “And good luck.”  She got to her feet but Loki’s voice stopped her from leaving.  

“You’re wishing me luck?” 

She met his penetrating gaze. “If you mean what you say and you want to make Midgard a better place,” she shrugged. “I can’t kill you, so my only hope is that you’re telling the truth, in which case, good luck with it.” She turned and walked towards the door. 

“How would you feel about being one of my advisors?” Loki asked, stopping her in her tracks once more.  

Rhiannon turned back slowly.  

“Why?” 

“Because you’ve just proved that you can be brutally honest.”  

She wondered why she was hesitating. She hated this man, had hated him for 7 months in fact, so much so that she should just tell him to go to hell and storm out.  

Loki stood up and came around the desk.  

“You’re tempted,” he told her smugly. “You clearly have nothing to go home for or you wouldn’t have come back.” 

“I wanted-” 

“You could have sent a letter.”  

She stared at him as he approached, feeling rather like prey that was being stalked by a predator. It wasn’t a bad feeling though, more . . . exciting.  

“I have a life to go back to, a job, a home-” 

“But I can give your life purpose. If you work with me, you can literally change the world.” He passed behind her and her breath caught in her throat as she imagined him speaking directly into her ear with his silky-smooth voice. “How many people can say that?”  

“What are the terms?” she found herself asking.  

Loki came back into her eyeline and shrugged. “A hundred thousand pounds a year, accommodation provided, you’ll have to travel with me most of the time.” 

Her jaw dropped open in shock. “Is that what you’re paying your advisers right now?” 

“The lesser ones, why?”  

“That’s at least three times what teachers earn! And for what, giving you an opinion now and then?”  

Loki’s mirth fled and Rhiannon felt a frisson of fear.  

“What?” he demanded.  

“You want to pay me three times what a teacher earns for a fraction of the work.”

Loki looked appalled. “These people teach your children! They are quite literally entrusted with the future of your civilisation, and you expect to attract the best by paying them a pittance?” 

“No, I don’t, but teachers pay wasn’t my decision.” 

“Well your government’s then, why do they pay so little?”  

“I suppose because they can, because they don’t value teachers, and they don’t have the money to pay much.” 

“Why not? Your economy is thriving.”  

“True, but when the richest one percent in the world are hoarding half of the world’s wealth for themselves, then have the gall to use tax havens to hide trillions, it’s easy to understand why governments aren’t as rich as they could be.” 

“Why don’t your lawmakers do something about it?” he demanded.  

“Have you looked around your followers, Loki?” she demanded, starting to lose her cool now. “They are all part of the one percent, and they’ve all sucked up to you so that you let them keep their billions. Who gave you this place,” she gestured to the building around them. “Do you think most Londoners live in places with 60 rooms? Newsflash, they don’t. Most people who work in London can’t actually afford to live here, because rents are too high and wages too low, and no one but the super-rich can afford to actually buy a London property. You were given this place, and all the others you stay in, by wealthy people to keep you sweet, and guess what? It worked!”  

“One percent own half of the world’s wealth?” he asked.  

“Yes.”  

“No wonder your teachers are so poorly paid.” 

[thesaltofcarthage]

Avengers: Endgame: Did Marvel Pull It Off?

This is a followup to my (surprisingly popular!) post “The Stakes Are Too High.” (at least, it surprised the hell out of me that it got so popular; I wasn’t expecting it to resonate as widely as it did.)

FULL ENDGAME SPOILERS AHEAD. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. I’m putting it under a cut just in case.

Also, above the cut in case you’re still dodging spoilers, tagging @kryptaria @iamanartichoke @taurileonis @hjbender @chey-tips22 @wu-the-stoic @englishontheinside  @rennemichaels @alwida10 @ladylowkeyed @saltoftheearths @mizkit @thelightofthingshopedfor @essesnceofhappiness @theravenofwynter @pinetreeparadoxx @ironhammermagicshieldedgreenbow @philosopherking1887 @waywardkansasflower @lokeanrampant @maneth985 @ilovethemallsoimconfused @bengalaas @icyxmischief @yuuki-fandoms @snailchick  @fictions-stranger  @adhdasianaroace @artherra @missmaladicta @queerfictionwriter because you specifically commented/reblogged.

So having seen Endgame, the question becomes: Did Marvel pull it off? 

My answer is: yes and no.

Did we get an emotionally satisfying ending? Did Marvel understand that closure doesn’t have to come with corpses?

There were a lot of things I loved about Endgame. There were many, many of the “small character moments” we were begging for. Marvel didn’t forget that we fell in love with people and we need to see people and their choices and how they live with the consequences of those choices... mostly.

I loved how Marvel rewarded the audience for watching 11 years of movies. It was practically wall-to-wall Easter eggs and callbacks. I loved how the time travel allowed us to loop back through some of our favorite scenes and see them from other points of view, and the additional information. (Sitwell and Brumlow taking the scepter immediately after Loki’s capture: oh, so that’s how HYDRA got the Mind Stone!) I loved the cameos upon cameos (despite how silly it is for someone like Natalie Portman to show up for literally 15 seconds and not get any lines). I appreciated that Captain Marvel was used exactly the right amount: she saved Tony and Nebula, she was established as part of the post-Snap team, she came in at the end to lend some firepower, but she did not have any part in solving the problem nor was she the person who ultimately handed Thanos his raisin ass. I LOVED THE FINAL BATTLE, HOLY FUCK. (With the exception of Loki not being present, but I’ll get to that.) There were real laughs, and real tears. I cheered when Steve summoned Mjolnir (and laughed my head off at the Cap-on-Cap fight). I loved Morgan and Cassie, and the echoes of fathers and daughters throughout.

There were things I did not love, even before we got to the final or semi-final fates of some characters. I was genuinely offended with Thor’s treatment. I was not happy with Loki. I was confused about Vision, Gamora, and Black Widow, because they are due to return for future TV shows and movies, so leaving their statuses open or cloudy (or “dead,” which I put in quotes for a reason) was just disconcerting. The time travel opened up a lot of problems.

My original post was about endings, so let’s talk about those. In approximately descending order of Satisfying to WTF:

Stan Lee: Got his last cameo in the end of the arc so he didn’t miss any, driving along, clearly having the time of his life. Excelsior, Stan, and thank you for everything.

Clint: Got his happy ending. He was deeply bitter about losing his family, but got them restored to him. He did lose Nat, but I’ll cover her in her own section.

Steve: He did get his soft epilogue, albeit with Peggy Carter, and I can’t fault that. Marvel was never going to give us the Steve/Bucky romance no matter how obvious it was, and Steve/Peggy also works. (And really, I love Peggy, so for her to get a happy ending too is a bonus.) Steve gave so much of himself over the years. I can’t object to allowing him to be selfish and re-live his life quietly, to finally put down his shield and go home from the war. He got his reward.

It basically works with the existing timeline if you squint and assume that Peggy’s Alzheimer’s was messing with her at the beginning of Civil War, or if there’s another timeline altogether. I’m slightly annoyed that whatever he got to have with Bucky all happened offscreen between the stinger of Black Panther and the beginning of Infinity War, but apparently they did spend time together. And Steve clearly told Bucky was he was planning; that’s what “I’m gonna miss you” was foreshadowing.

STEVE IS WORTHY OF MJOLNIR. YESSSSSS!

Bruce: I was okay with the “Professor Hulk” storyline (which I was told by a sharp-eyed nephew is from the comics), although I wouldn’t have minded seeing that internal struggle onscreen, but I understand it’s an IP rights issue and there isn’t going to be another Marvel standalone Hulk film.

Tony: Augh. AUGH! I get it. I know why he died, on a meta level. But still.

This, at least, we can say is mostly “heartbreaking” and not “burn.” Tony got the five-year interval to make some kind of peace with his losses. He and Pepper got married and had Morgan. He got some kind of Happy For Now. He got some kind of reward, which RDJ brilliantly conveyed even in the few minutes we saw.  

@hjbender linked @starkysnarks’s excellent post about Tony’s arc. One important part:

That’s why I think that giving a better, more positive message is so important. While other characters have flaws, it’s only Tony who has this consistent, this carefully streamlined storyline of improvement, of redemption, of self-realization and self-betterment. It’s Tony who is most often referred to (by the aforementioned mainstream outlets AND within the fandom) as the most human of the characters, and his story – as the most humane. His happy ending with a new house and young family will not feel like an opt-out, it will not feel complacent, at least not to me. It will feel like hope. It will feel like achieving, at least partially, the goal of that endless internal struggle that we all go through daily. It will feel like it’s possible to be good and be happy and be content, to know that you have done you best and your best is good enough for you to live, and go forward, and be.

He ultimately got some of this, for a while. Tony’s fatal flaw is his fear about Thanos, or the threat that Thanos represents. Prior to Avengers, Tony was happy-go-lucky because he could, eventually, beat whatever the world threw at him. But Thanos was not of this world, and would have wiped everyone out if Tony hadn’t managed to get that nuke through the portal. That trauma, that guilt, that fear, is what drives him for the rest of the Infinity Stones storyline. He is desperate to protect everyone. It’s what makes him want to put “a suit of armor around the world” in Age of Ultron, and of course the way Ultron backfires compounds Tony’s PTSD and guilt, which is what leads to his position in Civil War and the fight he picks with Steve at the beginning of Endgame.

And the worst happens in Infinity War, and the Avengers lose. Everything Tony feared ultimately happened.

Five years later, he’s managed to move forward. He has his happy ending — as happy as he can be, given their losses. He’s accepted his failure, more or less. He wants to rest, which is why he rejects Steve and the others at first.

But his tinkerer’s brain won’t let him put their proposal aside. He needs to know intellectually that there’s no chance, that he can’t fix what he screwed up. Because that’s the other part of what drives him: they lost. He lost. “I lost the kid,” he tells Steve (meaning Peter). That fear of loss, of losing people, of failing people, of disappointing people, is what keeps pushing him. If he knows that there’s no possible way he can undo his mistake, he’ll figure out a way to cope, especially since he still has Pepper and then his daughter. But now there is a way, or there might be, and he can’t let that lie, he can’t rest, until he knows one way or the other. And when the way to fix things becomes possible, there is no other outcome for Tony to choose. He wouldn’t be a hero otherwise.

It is a terrible loss, but in the end I could accept it. Tony got a Happy For Now. He was able to enjoy his life for a little while. He got the genuine closure with his father which he couldn’t in the BARF hologram at the beginning of Civil War thanks to the time travel, and he got to see Peter restored and give him the hug which they weren’t at yet in Homecoming. Tony was triumphant. He defeated his greatest, most terrible adversary. He defeated his fear. Thanos is gone, and his minions with him. The echo of “I. Am. Iron Man.” was exquisite. (even more so knowing that line in the first movie was ad-libbed! it wasn’t in the script! It was RDJ’s idea!) So his death is sad, but it’s earned.

Natasha: Meh. Just meh. The scene where she and Clint fight over who is going to die was blackly hilarious. It made narrative sense for Nat to be the one who died — she has found family, but not children; she spent the interval trying to run the Avengers and SHIELD and trying to fix things, and this allowed her to contribute in a material way; she still has a lot of red in her moral ledger — but on a meta level, we know there’s a Black Widow movie in the works. It doesn’t make sense to have a spinoff series set before Endgame when you know how the character dies. It’s not a bad ending, all things considered, but the actress herself can’t get younger. Is it supposed to be her origin/backstory movie after the character has died? Is it Multiverse Branching Timelines? Was she restored when Steve returned all the Stones to their place in the timeline? Was she restored with Tony’s Snap, or Bruce’s? Not knowing how that’s going to work with the rest of the MCU timeline blunted the emotional effect of her death for me.

Although he’s not an original Avenger, I had similar issues with Vision. There will be a Scarlet Witch and Vision TV series. Vision is still dead, according to Wanda at Tony’s funeral. So was he restored with either Bruce’s Snap or Tony’s? Was 2018 Gamora? 

And the two which completely did not work for me, the ones where I think Marvel really missed:

Thor: Of the original Avengers, he was the one I was most upset about.

I really, really did not like how Thor’s very legitimate grief, depression, PTSD, and alcoholism were played for laughs. Thor is down to a “kingdom” of a few hundred people at best (we don’t know what Asgard’s population was to start with, but Hela killed quite a few, and then Thanos killed half of them on the Statesman, and it’s entirely possible that the Snappening dusted half of whomever remained). He’s living with the murders of Loki, Heimdall, and the Warriors Three (I can’t remember if Sif was supposed to have survived the Snappening, but she doesn’t appear in Endgame). He didn’t “go for the head” in Infinity War, which clearly haunts him despite the fact that Peter Quill is just as much to blame for interrupting Strange, Tony, Peter, and Mantis, or Wanda is just as much to blame for not getting the Stone out of Vision’s head faster, etc. etc. He cut off Thanos’s head after the fact and is clinging to that — “Who else here killed Thanos?” — as some kind of cold comfort. “Look, at least I did that in the end. At least I got revenge.”

Thor is a mess. His family is dead. His dearest friends are dead. He’s in a depressive spiral, self-medicating with food and alcohol, lost in video games because they are a consequence-free way to “win.” He’s holed up with Miek and Korg because they didn’t know him before Ragnarok and they have no real expectations of King Thor, God of Thunder, Avenger, Hero. He feels he has failed at everything which has ever been expected of him.

And the script... plays this... for laughs.

We are meant to laugh at his pot belly and flabby physique. We are meant to laugh at his unkempt matted hair and wild unbraided beard. We are meant to laugh at his drunkenness, at how he passes out, at how he blearily begs and whimpers to be the one to unSnap everyone ( “Please let me do something good, something right,” he pleads), at how he returns to Asgard on the day of Frigga’s murder and tries to frat-boy off to the cellars for some of Odin’s best ale because he cannot face his failure on this day too.

None of this is funny. It’s not funny at. all. It’s horrifying.

I do understand that this is likely more Hemsworth than Marvel. The actor vocally complained that he was bored with formal, upright Thor and would have been done with the character without Taika Waititi’s more comedic take in Ragnarok. He has said in interviews that Thor in Endgame is the closest to Hemsworth himself that the character has ever been, and clearly the actor loves doing comedy. He’s good at it — I enjoyed Kevin in Ghostbusters 2016.

I don’t object to loosening up Thor. I don’t object to showing Thor spiraling into alcoholism and depression and hiding from the world in food and games. I object to using depression and alcoholism for comedy.

Thor faces Frigga, reluctantly, and she counsels her son whom she loves, telling him not to worry about living up to expectations but to be his best true self. This is consistent with both characters; Thor has accepted how hard it is to be king. Then as Thor is quantumming out she adds “And eat a salad.” Really? You had to throw that in there? She sees the wreck her son has become and she nags? She gives him some kind and loving advice, she knows there’s some weirdness going on, but she has to cap it with fat-shaming?

We are meant to mock formerly ripped Thor for being “fat and ugly,” but let’s be clear: Thor’s appearance is an outward manifestation of deep emotional issues. Thor has not been able to cope with his failure. He and Tony faced similar terrible losses. Both characters originally had sunny dispositions. Tony, who still had Pepper at least, has managed to crawl out of his hole and build something with his wife and daughter. Thor lost his brother, his other half, and has mentally, emotionally, and physically collapsed. There really is no Thor without Loki.

And speaking of, I’m going to scream for a moment:

SERIOUSLY, MARVEL, WHAT EVEN THE FLAMING FUCK WAS THAT? YOU TEE UP A GODDAMN LINE LIKE “I ASSURE YOU, BROTHER, THE SUN WILL SHINE ON US AGAIN” AND THEN IT DOESN’T PAY OFF? I FUCKING WAVED THAT FLAG FOR A SOLID YEAR BECAUSE I WAS CONVINCED YOU WERE SMARTER THAN THAT AND THIS IS HOW YOU DO ME?

Loki: I am well aware that Loki started as an antagonist, and that my perspective is skewed from the fandoms I choose to participate in. I know that he’s not an Avenger.

But purely from a narrative point of view, Marvel, ya done fucked up. You dropped the ball.

From my previous post:

Loki’s death in Infinity War was so stupid and narratively pointless that a lot of fans, myself included, believe that there’s a plan behind the scenes (since we know Endgame involves time travel) which somehow explains it and gives it meaning. Because if not, then one of the most popular MCU characters — the only antagonist to keep returning, film after film, and primarily because audiences love him — died for nothing.

And there you have it. Explaining it after the fact in Loki’s TV show doesn’t count (and we don’t know that they will). Yes, Loki grabs the Tesseract in 2012 and disappears, so you can argue that “he doesn’t die,” but all that really does is screw up the timeline. It creates another timeline branch which isn’t resolved.

Is everything now a branched universe? If Loki took off with the Tesseract, does that mean The Dark World and Ragnarok never happened? If Loki didn’t go back to Asgard in chains at the end of Avengers, that means TDW couldn’t have happened the way it did. It means that Loki didn’t sacrifice himself, but does that also mean that Malekith would have gotten the Aether/Reality Stone from Jane and killed her? (It was Loki’s plan which saved Jane, let’s recall. And killed Kurse.) Does that mean Odin is still alive and on Asgard? And Hela was never unleashed? And therefore Loki and Thor never ended up on Sakaar and Hulk and Valkyrie Brunnhilde are still there? Or worse, that Odin died and Hela was unleashed but Thor wasn’t able to stop her because he didn’t have Hulk, Valkyrie, and Loki to help him? So she’s now loose and rampaging across the realms murdering at will?

It was appropriate for the larger arc for Carol to be part of the cavalry swooping in during the final battle to pummel Thanos for a while, but I kept waiting for Loki to show up. Loki was tortured by Thanos and Ebony Maw, which is what kicked off the plot of Avengers. If 2014 Thor was willing to break Loki out of prison to get revenge for Frigga’s death, why wouldn’t either 2014 Thor or 2023 Thor be willing to tell 2012 Loki “We have an opportunity for you to get back at Thanos. Wanna help?” Because as strung out and as still cocky as he was, jauntily waving in the elevator at the beast who just beat the shit out of him, I bet Loki would have been delighted to take a few swings at Giant Purple Nutsack Face. Yes, he probably would have escaped at some point during the final battle, because that’s who he was at the time, and still is — he’s “very comfortable with chaos,” as Hiddleston notes. And that would have been consistent. Help others if it also helps him, he’s not really a hero at that point in his arc, check out after Thanos is dead because he doesn’t want to go back to prison. That all would have worked. Even if he had no more to do than Shuri or Okoye, just to show him shooting a few blasts of seidr and showing that he is in fact just as powerful a sorcerer as Doctor “I’ve only been doing this for a year” Strange.

But Loki’s death in Infinity War is for nothing. Even if I wasn’t as invested in the character as I am, from a storytelling standpoint, it was pointless. The entire heavy foreshadowing of that line was utterly whiffed. You can’t even argue that “Loki sacrificed himself for Thor” because Thanos disappeared with the Space Stone, leaving Thor behind, and Thor crawled over to his brother’s dead, broken body and crumpled there to die. Thor gave up and never recovered. The last word he expected he would ever say was “Loki....” 

Thor didn’t choose in that moment to use Loki’s sacrifice to stand up and claim revenge. Even Clint did more than that after Natasha’s death. Thor only continued on to forge Stormbreaker because the Guardians happened to pick him up in the vacuum of space after the Statesman exploded. That wasn’t a choice by the character, which is what moves a character arc forward. It was happenstance. Thor’s heart was destroyed with Loki’s death. It’s a shell of a man who eventually beheads Thanos.

Loki got an “Avenge the Fallen” poster, but he wasn’t avenged. The 2012 version of him escaped and branched off a new timeline, according to the Ancient One’s explanation of how time travel works in the MCU.

We don’t know if either Tony’s or Bruce’s Snap restored 2018 Loki. Endgame is the end of this arc. Marvel can’t patch stuff up later and claim a do-over. 

AND FOR FUCK’S SAKE MARVEL WE NEVER GOT THOR AND LOKI’S HUG.

So: did Marvel hurt us?

Not as badly as I feared. There was a ton of fanservice and moments which were so go-for-broke that I felt like we were watching wish-fulfillment fanfic. (So many jokes about Steve’s ass. Steve joking about Steve’s ass.) The script didn’t stop to explain who people were or give context; it assumed the audience knew everything and was keeping up. And that last battle, have mercy, Helm’s Deep and Pelennor Fields look like playground skirmishes in comparison.

BUT: The loose ends are deeply frustrating, and I think the Loki fandom is going to blow a collective gasket. Grotty Drunk Thor having constant My Dick Is Bigger fights with Peter Quill is not going to make me want to watch Guardians 3. (Although if Loki comes back and sneers at Quill, and Thor follows his brother off into the wild yonder with stars in his eyes, okay, call me.)  

I will watch the Marvel TV shows because I’m a masochist, but I don’t know how much I’m going to allow myself to get emotionally involved. My expectations are far lower than before IW/EG. I don’t know how the shows and movies involving “dead” characters are going to explain things. Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey handwaving is kind of a cheat, and it doesn’t excuse the shit storytelling which was allowed to happen in the first place.

Do I regret the journey? I don’t. It’s been a hell of a ride, and I’m so glad to have met these characters. I could wish for some things to be better, and hoo boy is there going to be a lot of corrective fanfic, but I’m not sorry I came along. 

(and P.S.: Loki lives. :P)

[doeeyeddarlingxo]

Myriad Misadventures - Chapter 57

The Myriad Misadventures of a Midgardian Queen-In-Training - Chapter 57

AO3 | Previous | Next

Word Count: 931

Pairing: Loki/Reader

Rating: T

Taglist (brand new, so lmk if you want to be added!): @lokis-girl-in-mischief

Myriad Misadventures - Chapter 57

Hey kiddo,

What the hell? Mom and Dad are flipping out, and I don't know what to tell them. They think I might have some idea of what's going on over there. Is this some kind of show you're putting on for the cameras? Please tell me it is.

 Jesus, (Y/N), I hope you know what you're doing. And I thought the plan was to help him make a better choice out of the other three women? How does screwing His Royal Psychosis factor into that equation? For the money? You're down to the final four, maybe even less by the time you see this (and if you are playing him, maybe try to get permission to check your emails more than once a week, yeah?). You should be back by now. 

Was the whole letting-you-choose-to-leave thing fake? If that’s the case, make him kick you out instead. Don't piss him off enough to kill you, but enough to get him to send you home. Just be your charming self, (Y/N), it's not that hard.

And please respond asap. The parental units are having a collective aneurysm.

Don't die,

Erik

(P.S.: Carlie says hi. She, of course, thinks this whole thing is terribly romantic. Is that really the example you want to be setting for her?)

Your brother means well, and in a way you know he's right - Mom and Dad must be freaking out. They don't know anything that's happened to you until Friday rolls around, until Ashley Marino's cherry-pie voice greets them with a segment of palace life that, all too often, with the exception of the masquerade, only contains five to ten minutes footage of their daughter. Their daughter, who they’ve seen in person only once in three years, and with whom they didn’t exactly end their last visit on good terms. Nineteen is hardly ancient, but still - a lot has changed since you were sixteen.

Now, with half the contestants out, they can give more screen time to the girls who are left. You haven’t had many interactions with the camera, besides a few sound bites for commercials, maybe a group shot or two. That is, until last night. 

God, you don’t even want to begin considering what your parents might be thinking. But they’ll be even more worried if you ignore them completely. Sighing, you swipe to the next email.

(Y/N),

Last night’s segment was a bit of a shock. Your father is coping. I don’t know what kind of arrangement you and His Majesty have made, but right now you need to focus on leaving. The other girls have gone back to their normal lives, it’s safe - you don’t have to pretend any more. I just want you home - we all do. Permanently this time. Please, sweetheart.

Love,

Mom

“Penny for your thoughts?”

You’re too distracted by the email to look up. “Hm?”

“That is the Midgardian expression, yes?” 

“Sure, I’m—sorry. Just a bit distracted.” You lower the tablet to your lap and smile at him, giving him your full attention (or at least as much of it as you can muster). “What’s up?”

“The competition has gone on for long enough.”

“Long enough?” His real meaning sinks in. “You mean…”

“I wish to end it, yes.”

Your pulse picks up for a moment. He picked me? 

It seems a fair assumption to make. You know now—assuming the others have been honest—that you’re the only one he’s kissed. 

But you’re not going to lie—in spite of your bravado in standing up to Rosa, there’s still a part of you that worries. That doubts. You haven’t spoken to him since that kiss in the hallway; what if that was for show? For the cameras? What if the other girls have been more involved with him than they’ve let on?

This entire train of thought runs through your head in a matter of seconds. You quickly come to, and realize that he’s looking at you, clearly expecting a response. 

You clear your throat. “You’re planning to end the competition.”

“Yes.”

“And take a wife,” you say cautiously, because your paranoid brain won’t believe anything that isn’t spelled out for you in plain words.

“Yes, and take a wife.”

Well. That confirms it.

“Wow.” What does this mean? Is it vain to assume it’s me? Is it naïve to assume it’s not? “I guess—you’re right, it’s time. I’m just...you know, surprised.”

“That wasn’t—well, I suppose it was part of it, but not all of what I came here to tell you.”

Tell you. Not ask, which you would assume to be the case if...well, if he’d chosen you. 

The disappointment sinks in, swift and sharp, only tempered by your efforts to keep a calm demeanor. 

You look back down at the screen. Mom’s letter. Asking—honestly, more demanding at this point—that you leave the palace at once. Guess that’s going to be easier and sooner than I’d thought. Perhaps it’s best after all, then, this turn of events. 

So what if your first love turned out to be a dead end? You’re young. You’ll move on.

“It wasn’t?”

“No.”

You look back up at him, fighting back the ache in your heart. “Well?”

You can handle this. He’ll tell you he which if the other women he’s picked, and you’ll spend thirty seconds pretending to be happy for him. Actually being happy for him. And you’ll move on. And you’ll go home. And before you know it, your three years in the palace will be nothing more than a passing—

“I love you.”