#I saw 4 lando edits back to back

[reisspieces]

it’s that time of year again when I think I should get into f1

[judes-hoe]

Bitter rivals, sweet love

Parrings~ Lewis Hamilton x OC

Summary~She’s gonna be in f1 for her third year and goes to a team no one expects her to. She’s always got a cold expression and only those close to her know why. Shes been close one to many times to winning a championship and this year she’s gonna get it no matter what.

Warnings~ google translated Italian, mentioned crying,

A/N~ so doing the Japanese Grand Prix and then after that skipping to the Miami Grand Prix, just because I don’t wanna write every single race or this series will be soooo long. So the I’ll write the Japanese GP cause it’ll be the first time of many of having to share a hotel!!!! Next chapter will be in Miami btw we skipping china lol but I’ll mention who wins it lol!!

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.6 pt.7

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vanessa had just arrived at the hotel room she’ll be sharing with Lewis. She settled down and laid on the one bed scrolling on her phone watching edits that popped up of her. She loved when the fans made edits of her, let her know she was appreciated.

Around 20 minutes later she heard a knock and immediately rolled her eyes knowing it’s Lewis. She gets up as slow as possible before going to open the door, when she did she was met with the British man with his suitcase. She rolled her eyes and walked in the room. Lewis caught the door before it could close and walked in placing his stuff on the other bed.

“Good to see you too.” He smirked. “stai zitto.” She said to him before going back to her phone. “You know I know Italian right?” He smirked at her laying on his bed. “non me ne frega un cazzo.” She said rolling her eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a couple hours later, now in the paddock for media. She just sat on the couch for the interviews. She was with max, Lando, Charles, and Carlos.

About 20 minutes in she finally got asked a question, “hello Vanessa, you have 3 races, that includes this one, till your 1st home race as you have 2 through the season, how do you feel.” The man asked. “Well I can’t wait honestly, it’s always a different feeling racing in your country, and as my fans know if I win my home race I wanna be edit to the song ‘Viva La Vida’ same song every year.” Vanessa said with a smile. “Why that song?” He asked. “Well there’s nothing behind it, it’s just gives me winner vibes, but to my fans again if you wanna make a more calm edit do white Ferrari by frank ocean.” She said with another smile.

They then continue with the interview and she gets a few more questions before leaving the interview. “Nessa wanna come to lunch with us?” Carlos asked standing next to Lando, Max, and Charles. “Sure, got nothing else to do.” She shrugged going with them.

When they got to the place to eat Charles leans over a whispers. “I saw Lewis going into your room about 25 minutes after you, what’s that about?” He smirked when he asked. “Toto got mad at us after what happened in Australia so he talked to our managers and we have to share a room for the rest of the season and do “couples therapy” and if we don’t fix our rival by the end of the season we both lose our seats.” Vanessa said looking at Charles with an annoyed expression. “You and Lewis have to share a room!” He said a little to loud making the other 3 men look at the 2 with a smirk. “It’s not like that.” She groaned and explained the whole story again.

“You guys can’t tell anyone though.”she said with a serious expression. “If I hear someone talk about this that isn’t any of us, I’m killing you all.” She spoke before taking a bite of her food which made the guys nod their heads quickly before also eating their food.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She walks into the hotel room after he lunch with Carlos, Charles, Lando, and max. She sees Lewis laying on his bed shirtless and his chest a little wet. “Your staring a little hard sweetheart, see something you like?” He smirks when he notices her. “No, and stop calling me sweetheart.” She said annoyed. “If you say that I’m gonna keep calling you it.” He said with a cocky smile.

Vanessa grabs her pajamas which was just a t-shirt her dad always wore, and some shorts. She then walks to the bathroom and closes the door and starts the shower. She gets in the shower and relaxes under the hot water.

Vanessa gets out the shower, and gets changed into the pajamas. She walks out back into the room, putting the dirty clothes away and sitting on her bed. “Who’s on the shirt?” Lewis asked her. “My dad’s favorite band.” She said not wanting to talk to him. “Then why are you wearing it?” He asked again. “Cause I can!” She raised her voice a little. “God you ask so many questions.” She said turning on her side so she doesn’t have to look at him.

“Didn’t have to yell was just wondering why you’re wearing the shirt and not him.” He said. Vanessa stops all her movements and just lays there, her mind going back to that night. “Because there’s a reason, now I’ll be back im going for a walk.” She said getting up and slamming the door before walking down the hallway knocking on a door.

The door opened to reveal Daniel in a shirt and shorts. “What are you doing here it’s 7pm?” He asked when he saw her. “Can I just come in.” She asked softly. He nodded and let her in and she sat on the edge of his bed. “Me and Lewis have to share a hotel room for the rest of the season as punishment by Toto and by the end of the season if our rival isn’t fixed and put aside for the team we lost our seats, and he just asked me about this shirt and I told him and he asked why am I wearing it and not my dad.” She rambles to Daniel and starts to tear up when she stops.

Daniel now knows why she came here, cause she felt herself going to cry and knows she’s only comfortable crying around him. “It’s ok, it’s ok darling.” He said pulling her in a hug and petting her hair. “He probably doesn’t know, a lot of people on the grid don’t know.” He said kissing the top of her head. “Stay with me for a little we can watch a movie and then you can go back to your room.” He said pulling her away and wiped her tears away. “Ok.” She said going to say in his bed.

He got his computer and logged in giving it to her to play a movie. Vanessa picked the first avatar movie cause it’s one of her favorites.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the movie she said by to Daniel before going back to her hotel room. She did have a key so she knocked on the door. The door opened shortly after to reveal Lewis, she rolled her eyes at him and went and laid in her bed. Plugged her phone in and laid on her side away from Lewis going to sleep.

Lewis knew something was wrong and said something to upset her which he didn’t like. He stayed up an hour after she went to sleeping try to think about it before falling asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vanessa woke up, not to her alarm, but to grunt like noises. She looked at her phone and saw 6am on it. She still had 45 minutes till she woke up. She turned on her side and saw Lewis on the floor doing push ups.

“It’s six in the morning why are you up?” She asked mildly angry. “Had to get my morning work out in.” Lewis said stopping a sitting back on his knees with a little shrug. “Well now you share a room respect people who trying to still sleep!” She let out a huff and got out the bed going into the bathroom.

Vanessa walks out the bathroom and now sees Lewis getting ready to take a shower. He walked into the bathroom when she walked out. When she heard the shower turn on she started to undress and get dressed for the day, because no chance she’s going back to sleep.

After she changes it’s around 8am now. She left the hotel and to her car to head to the paddock. Before she headed to the garage she walked around the paddock and ran into Charles.

“Charles.” She said with a little excitement in her voice. “Good luck this weekend I know it means something to you.” She said with a little smile giving him a hug when he leans in. “Thanks mon amor I appreciate it.” He said with a smile. “Well I’ll talk to you later need to head back to my garage.” He spoke. “Ok see ya later Charlie.” She says smiling before going to her own garage.

Vanessa walks in and sees him talking to Toto, but she walks in the opposite direction to Calvin. She talks to Calvin for a bit before getting ready for FP1.

In her drivers room she put on her fireproofs and then her suit. Grabbing her helmet and going to stand next I Calvin. “Ready?” Vanessa asked looking over his shoulder at the screen. “Yes put your helmet on!” He said patting her shoulder.

She quickly put on the balaclava, kissing the two names on her helmet. Then putting the helmet on and getting in the car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~skip to race day~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vanessa had done well in all FP, and managed to get a P3 in qualifying. Lewis in P2, max in P1. She had Charles and Lando behind her which he didn’t really care about.

They all lined up on the grid and the lights slowly flickered on.

“It’s lights out and away we go!”

She had tried to overtake Lewis on the first turn my didn’t mange keeping their gap close together, but also managing to get a gap between Lando.

A couple laps in, Lewis changed his tyres. Vanessa being able to take his spot and get a good 3 seconds gap while he was in the pit. Lewis getting out just in time to be in front on Charles.

A another few laps goes by and Lewis closed the gap, catching up to Vanessa. Max boxed so now she was P1 and Lewis P2.

The 45 lap is when Lewis manages to overtake Vanessa in P1 with DRS. Now she has to watch max behind her, just want she wants. “Gap between me and max?” She asked Calvin on the radio. “2 seconds.” He replied. “Good enough.” She says back to him which made him smile.

For the rest of the race she stayed in P2 having to defend from max a few times but built the gap back up, almost overtaking Lewis a few times too but just not enough.

So here they are standing on the podium now, P1 Lewis, P2 Vanessa, and P3 max. When they took the picture she made sure her a Lewis had some(a lot) of space between them with a half fake smile on her face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That next morning Vanessa left to go back to Monaco before the Chinese Grand Prix.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N ~ watch out next chapter it might be a little heart breaking and sad😭

Taglist: @happy-golden-hour @tallrock35

[lukweer]

ok so like there are two parts of me, right? well there are a lot of parts but english is hurting me right now and my head isn't working so you will make due/do(?)

anyways one part is like: my sense for gay people is strong, i think i know which f1 drivers are gay and i am confident in my answers

but the other part is like: its wrong to speculate sexuality because if people havent come out then they either aren't ready to be out or aren't gay, but at the same time this generation is moving away from the construct of coming out so like... idk.

today the first part is stronger, though, so i want to share my speculations because everyone in the states only watches nascar and is a hick and i'm scared of them. they also do not like my italian accent :(

1. Max Verstappen

come on guys, any gay person could tell u he's probably bi. i mean he doesn't even try to hide it, u know? like there are compilations of him being fruity. and they are shockingly long.

he's mentioned using grindr, he's mentioned girls OR guys when talking about dating preferences, the whole thing with the freaking lei (i think thats how it is spelled, the hawaiian thing? the flower necklace?). the list goes on and on.

he's had girlfriends, and i'm pretty sure they weren't beards but i'm not sure. i'm leaning towards bi tho for this reason.

even if he isn't bi or gay or pan or whatever, he's at least incredibly comfortable with queerness and is probably a really cool dude. annoying when i'm watching the sunday races, but love him the rest of the time!

2. Lando Norris

lando is a bit more subtle with it (as are the other ppl in the list). emphasis on a bit, though.

unless you live under a rock, you've probably seen this gif:

this has called many aboard the lando is a little fruitcake train. what people don't realise is that he "eye fucks" or like... stares lovingly a lot.

other examples include:

staring lovingly at carlos sainz

checking out charles leclerc (kind of? i think he is checking him out)

staring lovingly at carloz sainz

this weird ass moment with, you guessed it, carloz sainz

there are a lot of these photos and clips out there, but i'm lazy and don't feel like looking for them so yeah. take my word for it.

i saw a post saying that if carlos and lando pulled up to the paddock holding hands and telling people they were dating they wouldn't be shocked. i agree with this statement entirely. as was stated, it takes a lot to get to that point, and we're at that point.

now i grew up a gay dude to a conservative family, and i know the little mannerisms that are like... a part of being gay? and i know what it looks like to hide them.

i do not know if this is the right way to say it or if it is politically correct, but i believe it to be true. gay men tend to have little mannerisms here and there that give us away a bit, and i think i've seen some of those in lando.

i don't think i will share them though, as i don't want to accidentally push harmful stereotypes or whatever. obviously not all gay men have gay mannerisms and it might be something lando is insecure about so i would rather not put them on blast.

if it's not a bad thing i may come back and edit this and add them in. idk, let me know i guess? i am still learning american customs.

3. Yuki Tsunoda

this is probably going to be the shortest section (ha).

yuki mostly just makes my radar go off. i don't consume alphatauri content as much, but i know there was a thing with him and pierre that was just crazy last year and the year prior. don't know as much about it as i should haha.

but yeah. yuki just sends my radar into the astral plane (is that a thing? i am doubting myself). if he is not at least bisexual i will eat my own foot.

maybe that one moment between him and michael italiano has just gotten to me, i don't know. i trust in my instincts though.

Honourable Mentions

4. Danny Ric

idk he just gives the vibe! i don't know how to explain my radar. gay people know. i think it is called gaydar.

DR is on it.

5. Carlos Sainz

he is probably on my gaydar the least, but he's still on there. latest vlog he gently combed his finger through ruperts hair. he's probably deeply in love with lando. just little things like that i guess!

6. Oscar Piastri

this may be wishful thinking. i sit in bed at night and pray that he is into men.

that is all! thank you for learning about fruity drivers with me! please do not cancel me if i am doing something politically incorrect! i am still learning!

[inchidentally]

https://x.com/safeforlando/status/1750936311563723024?s=20

I don't need to add anything. The best driver duo on the grid without a doubt <3

you're so right to say there's nothing more to say, anon. and yet ! lol

(behind a cut so no one can think I'm literally reporting facts here or that I'm living and dying by my own weird and pointless takes I'm just enjoying over-analyzing for fun)

(I am fully switching off RPF/narrative here)

so temporarily switching off friendships or any kinds of ships and focusing solely on driver partnerships, I love how certain Lando's always been about what Oscar has done for his (Lando's) performance. I think this is where age and generation play some part bc Carlos and Daniel are both firmly in the same age group and separated from Lando to a certain degree bc of that. they both viewed Lando as a little brother type of teammate and their careers were never perceived by themselves as especially tied to McLaren or to Lando. they'd both kind of become the lone wolf type by then which is honestly how most drivers have to be. (even moreso in the Max/RB dominance era)

whereas Lando isn't just toeing the line by saying he's a big team player, he adores working in groups in absolutely every area of his professional life and even having hobbies that put him with a minimum of 3-4 people. he also needs to feel the safety of a support network to be at his best. he's the very opposite of a lone wolf. hell, he literally said 'it took an actual village to raise me'.

he very intentionally developed the shared interests with Carlos and Daniel to create those kinds of bonds and familiarity (that's The Lando Effect). and while it's too much of a leap to say for sure, I think it's likely - at least at the start - that Lando felt like they might each have been his teammate for longer than they were. either way, the shared hobbies and friendly bonding didn't really translate to his time time spent with them in team meetings, speaking to the engineers or in development back at the factory. Lando has said he and Carlos were on completely different planes of experience and ability and Carlos was one foot out the door after what, the first year? and well, we know the lack of synchronicity between Lando and Daniel as drivers that started to set in not long after that first season together.

so when it was announced Lando's next teammate would be a rookie and also younger than him, he didn't really hide that the swapped dynamic worried him - even if he was half-joking. and then Oscar being so quiet and independent a person definitely threw him. he even describes their pre-season interactions as friendly but only really having time to say a few words. Oscar had his own work cut out as a rookie (and as we found out, wanting to prove himself most to the engineers and folks at MTC) and Lando already had a full life running alongside his racing career.

and it sounds all projection-y and armchair psychology to say this but genuinely it's clear to state that unlike the usual PR push that a lot of new teammates partake in, Oscar's been notably disinterested in any of that - not even just overplaying a friendship or a bromance with Lando for the sake of the cameras. that's an especially unusual choice for someone who could really have used the Lando Effect boost to his own image after contractgate with Alpine and the hoards of Ricciardo fans/McLaren fans ready to hate someone they saw as a snake or a pretender (usually both). especially considering Oscar pre-F1 was extremely active on social media and had his own viral moments and a much more colorful, fun personality than what he's allowed F1 fans to see so far - it was a pretty deliberate choice to not carry that over right away to selling the partnership with Lando.

we might be able to glean through the murk of Netflix's highly questionable editing of this upcoming season of DTS how much was really going on behind the scenes between Lando and Oscar around this time. but it really seemed like Oscar was more focused on letting his loyalty to the team and his own driving do all the talking (and Mark Webber often said as much). when you compare a lot of those early Lando and Oscar videos and challenges to his Prema ones, he's so unusually quiet and reserved. so he had absolutely no interest in trying to sell himself as a persona or a character to F1 fans. he was perfectly sweet and polite! and boy, did Lando enjoy having someone with endless patience for him lol.

but it's very marked how, despite whatever was or wasn't developing between them as teammates, Lando has consistently always said the same as he has here about Oscar being so talented and giving Lando that "push" and how "you hate and you like it" bc it made him (Lando) take his own driving to the next level. that healthy competition and 'wow, this guy is bringing it' seemed to strike him immediately. Lando can't lie for shit so if he'd found Oscar to be a crappy teammate in any way there's no way he'd be able to choke out any praise for him even for the sake of the team alsgfljasgfa.

and I liked that here in I think March? he said how he planned to get Oscar into all his own hobbies and bring him out of his shell, but apart from one last minute invite to golf that never really happened. we know they spent a fair amount of down time together but it was always mentioned in passing rather than posting about it online or having anyone film it (that we know of yet). the reason I like it is because Lando went on to say how Oscar has reminded him by example to "keep calm and be yourself". and in this interview he'd said how he considers himself and Oscar to be pretty similar people in terms of their approach to their F1 careers. so instead of them bonding through hobbies and interests or both of them being chatterboxes, I think they bonded (if that's the word?) over not being stereotypical extroverted drivers in terms of their personalities and also that they've so adamantly never wanted to have driver in-fighting make life harder for their teams (and themselves). plenty of guys from F2 and F3 can attest to that for Oscar and of course there's The Lando Effect as far as Lando's concerned.

you could almost say they both needed to be teamed up with the other bc for all that Oscar projects Just a Guy, he also finds himself incredibly awkward when it comes to everything about his job outside of racing the car or talking about the car. Lando's just as much the same but he's learned to charm his way through it. he's still awkward as hell even in Quadrant promo videos and he's been doing those regularly for years now, and with all his friends there! they're both enough off-center that they either need an extroverted teammate to lean on or in their current situation, someone who can sympathize.

which I think considering how much loyalty to the team and a sense of 'home' and consistency are for Lando, it makes all kinds of sense that Oscar was the teammate to show up and really form that partnership that he considers to be 'the strongest' on the grid.

they're the same generation, have the same ethos when it comes to their racing careers and Oscar not only went through a court case to get to McLaren he then extended his contract to 2026 the second McLaren made the offer. Lando's got stability as well as a serious challenge from Oscar. he's more poised than ever for that win(s). and now I just hope he listens to Oscar in other ways like not self-flagellating in front of the cameras so much and focusing on where he has done well.

[danthropologie]

So conspiracy theory that Taylor write midnights about f1 drama this year. Look at it this way- Daniel’s obviously mastermind because his ass is half in that seat and also you’re on your own kid cause I saw this gorgeous edit of Daniel to it and it just makes sense, Max is vigilante shit because he’s deadass scheming to get rid of checo because he wants his boyfriend back and also anti hero because he’s brought it upon himself to carry on fernando’s legacy of being the problem but we love him anyways iconic king, I have to give karma to McLaren because they will pay, bigger than the whole sky because we’re going to fucking miss seb so much :(, and lavender haze for dando cause we all know that next year lando is just going to take one look at Oscar and be like, ‘but you’re not Daniel’. If you read this entire thing, I am so sorry you had to tolerate my 4 am brain

oh my god you're a visionary. i do think that there's equal case to be made for mastermind being max OR daniel tho, just because the whole conversation of daniel moving into checo's seat literally wouldn't even be happening in the first place without max refusing to let checo through.

and you're so right that karma is daniel and mclaren, but i think maybe there's also a lewis element to it as well, especially in the bridge with the "ask me what i learned from all those years / ask me what i earned from all those tears / ask me why so many fade, but i'm still here"

i saw a midnight rain edit for carlando that absolutely fucked (link here), but as i have a hard time fucking with carlando in general, i prefer to read it as maxiel. especially since daniel literally spending the year dying on the floor while max was having one of the most successful seasons of all time 😭

the joke's been made a million times but how could question...? be about anything other than ferrari's fabulous fuck ups this year.

and on a similar note, bejeweled is charles @ ferrari in a 'you better figure out your shit before you lose me' type way (aka the direct precursor to mattia getting fired)

labyrinth is daniel having the soul sucked out of him for 18 months straight, then being thrown a lifeline in the form of a red bull polo. also "you know how much i hate that everyone expects me to bounce back just like that" i mean!!!

i know that the album technically came out before they went to brazil, but the great war is literally about interlagos 2022. just the whole fucking thing.

paris is brief but beautiful yukierre affair, rip in peace 🤧

i feel like high infidelity could be a lot of different things, but the funniest and most unhinged is whatever the fuck is going on with nando and esteban and nando's shock jump to aston martin

glitch and maroon both give the constant push and pull of charlos

would've could've should've is from the perspective of the twinks caught in the zak brown twink farm bullshit 😔

and as the daniel brain rot runs deep for me, obviously dear reader feels very daniel to me, but i think it could apply to mick, lewis, etc. basically anyone that spent the majority of the year Suffering(TM) yk

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2022: Round 10 - Great Britain

Finally, a race I actually remember stuff from!! (and saw in full, bc it’s the only one Channel 4 get to air live, woo!)

Ferrari strategy clownery and in-fighting, a Lewis podium, and Seb and Mick both scoring points 🥺

Let’s jump in!

I’m watching from the start, bc autism brain, but I will not be discussing Zhou’s crash because we do not profit off crashes here.

I’m v annoyed that Sky is the only English comms options bc I miss Alex Jacques and Billy Monger. How can I be put in charge and put together my dream F1 broadcasting team???

ANYWAY, the starting grid

Mick and Lance in last and Seb in 18th 😭

NICKY IN 10TH?!?!?

I mean good for him but that’s WILD

Lewis up in 5th we love to see it

I BRIEFLY HEARD THE CHAIN. Many kisses on the head to whoever started playing that over the circuit speakers.

Excuse me Ted, The Chain is not “dance music” it’s an icon.

ugh I’d forgotten about Tom Cruise being in the Merc garage. ew.

[Start/Lap 1]: Lewis’ start. Noice

and red flag for Zhou’s crash.

Pitlane Seb, Chris and Antti sighting!!!

(For anyone who wants to re-watch the race on F1 TV, we get the initial all-clear about Zhou just before the 20 minute mark, if you want to skip bits)

Cut to poor George arguing to get back in the race.

Ah, the Bono sighting that launched a thousand gif sets (23mins05 for anyone that wants it for... reasons)

Quickly followed by Lewis and Bono sighting. nice.

Ah, everyone’s having to do a pitlane shuffle so the cars are in grid order, not the order they were in after turn 2. #JustF1Things

stop cutting to Tom Cruise ffs no one cares

Thank you, cutting to car 5 and co is what I signed up for

Esteban clapping for his mechanics for fixing his car 🥺

everyone in the paddock having to bring their braincells together to try and figure out the grid order at the restart. F1 is a Serious Sport™️

Lewis and his mechanics!!!!!! 11/10 extremely wholesome🥰🥰🥰 

The person in the crowd with the Happy Birthday Seb banner 🥺😭💚

Another Seb and Antti sighting, the TV director is getting a belated basket of pastries

Oh to be Lewis and Angela, scooting down the pitlane, mostly unbothered

He parked in the AM garage???? On Seb’s side???

Seb sighting, Happy Birthday edition 💚💚💚

I also adore all the crowd shots, the vibes at Silverstone are always great.

“I’ve got a text from the FIA” Love Island: F1 Edition

(proper race start is at the 1 hour mark on the F1TV replay if anyone wants to skip the red flag period)

British GP 2 electric boogaloo let’s go.

[Restart/Lap 3]: Verstappen and Sainz continuing their Canada beef at the restart.

Very nice to see most of the grid having their braincells on the first proper lap of racing.

[Lap 5]: ngl it’s actually really nice to see cars actually being able to follow each other round the lap without losing much time. The new regs do work, who knew!!

Lewis v Lando. spicy.

aaaaand Lewis into P4!! having been to Silverstone twice I can confirm the crowd are indeed v v loud whenever Lewis makes an overtake. When we talk about the King of the UK it’s actually Lewis sorry not sorry Charlie

[Lap 8]: oh Seb pitted and is in plum last 😭

[Lap 10]: Race has calmed down a bit, I am awaiting pit stop/strategy drama.

asdfghjkl I looked up at my Mum as she spoke to me for a second and Verstappen got past Sainz for the lead.

ohhh he went off at Becketts. ty replay.

and Pierre and Yuki doing the dance of the sugarplum fairies.

[Lap 12]: Charles closing in on Sainz. Incoming internal Ferrari violence.

The saga of Ferrari vs itself continues

And Sainz suddenly retakes the lead bc Verstappen has a problem???

oh it’s a puncture.

[Lap 14]: Apparently the pit stop did not fix anything bc he’s still not happy on the radio.

ahhhh it’s bodywork damage.

[Lap 15]: Meanwhile there’s the Alonso train making a return.

And back to Ferrari v Ferrari

Comms, fans in the grandstands, people watching at home: Ferrari shouldn’t be letting their cars battle for so long like this! Ferrari: Read at 3:45PM.

No one has a lack of braincells quite like Ferrari

Meanwhile Lewis is collecting fastest laps like Pokémon

[Lap 17]: Seb watch - he’s up into P15!!! Progress!!!

oh jeez listening to these Ferrari team radio interactions is almost painful.

[Lap 18]: NICKY IN P8!! GOATIFI TIME!!

asdfghjkl cut to Binotto while Charles and Sainz are scrapping.

[Lap 20]: I have now lost count of the number of fastest laps Lewis has now amassed.

Every time I see one of the McLaren’s I weep at the hideous exposed carbon livery, I demand full papaya 😭

“It’s like dangling out an overly sized carrot” “Bono’s like a shark smelling blood” Nope I’ve got nothing to say to any of that. #JustCroftyAndBrundleThings

[Lap 23]: Angela and Nicholas sighting 🥰

[Lap 24]: SEB OVERTAKING A RED BULL ON HIS BIRTHDAY!!! 11/10. I could also swear I heard the crowd cheer as it happened 😭

Everyone is a Sebastian Vettel fan. Even if they say they’re not, they’re a Sebastian Vettel fan.

11/10 onboard. Also don’t ask me about his helmet for longer than a second because I will cry.

[Lap 26]: Right, back to the race, Lewis into the lead as Charles pits.

....

I forgot that they put Charles on Hards. Another hit for Clowneria Ferrari.

Another Bono sighting 🤍. I’m getting the vibes f1blr possessed the spirit of TV direction at this point.

stop cutting to Tom Cruise

[Lap 28]: SEB INTO P7!!!!

[Lap 29]: Oh boy more Ferrari on Ferrari violence. I’m not strong enough I still haven’t recovered from the Seb years.

[Lap 31]: And The Ferraris finally swap round.

Helmet Watch: Lewis’s pride helmet >>>>>

[Lap 33]: Mick passes Nicky for P10!!!!

[Lap 34]: Oh jeez now Sainz is asking for team orders. I must have burned all these team radios from memory bc I am not having a good time and I feel attacked.

[Lap 37]: Esteban v Verstappen you say? 👀

ohhhhh he gets it done into Stowe!!! Nice!!

and cut to the delighted Alpine mechanics, as they should be!!!

[Lap 38]: Seb is behind Fernando. Is it 2012 again?

ahhh Mick closing on Verstappen and Ocon

[Lap 39]: NOOOOOOO Esteban has a problem

Cut to sad Alpine mechanics 😭. The emotional whiplash of F1 continues.

Safety Car for very obvious reasons.

[Lap 40]: Where can I get an emotional support Bono??? asking for a friend.

Oh. Charles is on Hards, while Sainz, Lewis and Perez on on Softs. All together now: Clowneria Ferrari

Granted the timing meant that they might not have been able to pit Charles but yeah. Ouch.

“A good job from Aston Martin” Hell yeah!!!! Write it into the sky the green team are doing good!!!!!

[Lap 42]: Safety car ending, spice is coming

Sainz says fuck Ferrari’s strategy calls.

[Lap 43]: And off they go!!!

ahhhhhhhh Lewis on Perez violence and Ferrari on Ferrari violence at the same time

Seb still in P7 PHEW

[Lap 44]: Top 4 separated by two seconds. SPICY.

“Why did Mercedes look out at sea?” Because the W13 was a monster next question

Oh jeez more Lewis and Perez violence I can’t keep up.

(maybe watching this right before bed wasn’t a good idea dfavhfvuh)

Charles v Perez v Lewis going into Copse. Batshit insane.

oh, here it comes. *clears throat*

THROUGH GOES HAMILTON

Fucking. GOREGOUS.

[Lap 45]: sduvhuavhe Fernando and Lando turning up late with snacks mid-brawl asking if they missed anything

That was just... such fun racing though. MUCH DRAMA, MUCH FUN.

[Lap 47]: Oh Lewis v Charles round 2.

...Lewis really tried round the outside of Stowe. SIR. THINK OF MY BLOOD PRESSURE.

[Lap 48]: ROUND THE OUTSIDE OF LUFFIELD AND SIDE BY SIDE INTO COPSE AHHHHHHHH

Okay he got it done going into Stowe I can breathe and check on Seb now.

The way the last 8 laps of the race were more dramatic than the first 40 odd. Silverstone always provides the entertainment in some way.

Oh jeez louise the replay of Charles going round the outside of Copse. INSANE.

[Lap 50]: Mick fighting Verstappen for 7th. Seb watching on from P9 giving Mick good vibes I hope.

[Lap 52/Finish]: Sainz drives home unbothered while everyone’s fist fighting behind him.

LEWIS P3 HELL YEAH!!! With fasted lap. King of Silverstone.

ahhhhh Mick so nearly had Verstappen

BUT P8 FIRST EVER POINTS LET’S GOOOOOOOOOO

SEB IN P9!!! MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GERMANS!!!! 💛❤️🖤

no but Seb scoring points on his birthday with the helmet his kids made for him I 😭😭😭😭😭

And lastly, the most important sighting of the race, Zhou back in the paddock safe and sound ❤️

Whew. Watching this right before bed was not the right idea bc I somehow forgot how insane the closing laps were. ngl watching all the Ferrari in-fighting was STRESSFUL, and the race was actually alright before the Safety Car but WHEW THERE WAS SO MUCH GOING ON. Lewis v Perez v Charles was literally insane to watch, in the best way for how intense it was.

Overall (from the Lap 3 restart onwards) 8 front wings out of 10. Next up: Austria!

[landinoandco]

An Unlikely Grand Prix

Daniel Ricciardo x reader

Warnings: flufffff

Word count: 2.1k

Requests are open :)

The Belgium Grand Prix was one that was highly anticipated - not only did it mark the end of the summer break and start to the second part of the season but it also promised some quality racing with its high speed corners.

You and Daniel were sitting in your hotel room on Sunday morning, a drink of coffee in your hand and a vitamin smoothie in his, your laptop open in front of you as you made some edits to the latest version of your book. You were an author and about to finish the final edit of your new novel.

“Have you seen the weather forecast for today?” He asked, leaning onto his forearms. You looked over your laptop lid and nodded, taking off your glasses.

“I have, you better be careful. It was bad enough in qualifying yesterday - “ You paused, saving your work and closing your laptop down. “I don’t care what people say - wet races always make me nervous. They shouldn’t have sent you out in Q3, it was hard to watch.”

A silence fell between the both of you, Daniel watched with a softness in his eyes. He knew exactly how you felt and he loved how supportive you were of him. You were his biggest fan and he could not be more thankful for it - you were there for him every weekend through rain and sunshine and through good races and bad races. You knew him better than anyone.

“I will be as careful as I can -” He reached across the table and took your hand in his. “I really feel like I’m getting somewhere though - P4.” He exclaimed, a smile flashing across his handsome features. You brushed your thumb over his hand.

“It was a really good lap - especially given the weather.” You agreed.

You moved your gaze to the window - the steady sound of rain hitting the hotel window filled the room.

“It’s definitely going to be a tense one.” Daniel muttered, pushing his chair back and getting up. You followed and made your way to the door, shrugging on your coat as you went.

The rain was pouring down as though the heavens above had opened - Daniel held an umbrella above both of you, sheltering you from the downpour. Members from different teams raced around the paddock to dry shelter - the buzz of conversation could already be heard from the grandstand in front of the pitlane. You admired the dedication of the fans; it was far from just a shower and for those exposed without even the slightest of cover would be drenched to the bone even by now and the grand prix was far from starting.

You looked over to Dan, his eyes twinkling and a spring in his step told you that he was looking forward to today’s race. His eyes flickered down to meet your gaze, bumping his shoulder into yours causing you to chuckle.

It was incredible to think about all of the things you two had managed to fit into 3 (going on 4) years. You met each other on the top of Table Mountain in Cape Town, you were there plotting for your next novel and Daniel was there hiking with his friends…

You were sat on a rock, looking out to the city of Cape Town tucked away under the mountain range - you were out in South Africa on an escape from the cramped conditions of London. You had a deadline quickly approaching to come up with a plot for your next book and as of that moment you still weren’t any closer to coming up with the next bestseller. Sure, you had ideas but they were yet to set a light a fire of motivation in you.

You had zoned out, your gaze attached to a bird soaring across the landscape ahead of you when a sudden voice pulled you swiftly out.

“Whatchu’ writing about?” The man asked, his tone was bright and as you looked over at him you saw the beaming smile stretched across his features. His eyes showed a confident but kind manner, brown curls stuck to his forehead and the beginnings of a beard covered the bottom half of his face.

“If I knew, I would tell you.” You quipped back, turning to face the man in order to see him properly. He had a muscular physique, no doubt a sportsman - you had thought at the time - an explosion of colour seeping out from his shorts caught your eye as you clocked the tattoos; they weren’t the only ones either as little drawings were littered over his hands and arms.

“Nice tattoos.” You complimented, nodding over to him. If it was at all possible, his smile grew larger and he put his fist out.

“I’m Daniel, by the way, Daniel Ricciardo.”

The rest was history - an adventure packed history. One filled with enough adrenaline to last you for the rest of your existence. The introductions had also prompted your next plot idea so the following week when you had returned to London you turned it into your agent - who had immediately loved the outline you had presented.

A few hours later and the start of the Belgium grand prix was approaching but still the track was resembling more of a spa - ironically - than a safe and functional track. Dan walked in from the drivers parade and shivered - his coat having provided no cover.

Frowning, you got up and handed him a towel, “What are the conditions like?” Nerves laced your tone. Dan sat down, shrugging, “They’re what we expected them to be like but it’s really rough. If we can even see 6 feet ahead it would be a miracle.”

A miracle was something they were all desperate for and before they knew it the race had been red flagged - deemed too dangerous to race so all of the teams were in their garages coming up with ways to entertain themselves.

You had made your way out of the McLaren garage to join Daniel who was wandering up and down the pitlane looking for a way to cause havoc.

You crept up to him and grabbed his shoulders and shouted: “boo,” in his ear causing him to jump up in shock and scream. You and many witnesses were doubled over in laughter as the Australian held his hand to his chest.

“I just came to say -” You started, “That you looked like you were about to do something mischievous and I wanted in on whatever your plan was.”

Dan looked at you with complete adoration in his eyes, a lopsided grin formed on his face. At that moment, he had never loved you more. It was a strange feeling that he couldn’t quite describe - it was just one he felt warming up his entire body. One thing he had always adored about you was the way you understood him - at the beginning of the relationship he knew you had found it hard to deal with his childish, devil may care attitude. As soon as you relaxed more around him, you two became more comfortable with one another - you decided to try his way of living. Letting fate take you to your next adventure and enjoying the unpredictability of it all. From your first adrenaline seeking adventure Dan had managed to persuade you to join him in - he knew he had found his partner in crime. Most importantly, Dan had taught you a way of living that was more enjoyable, a way of living that allowed you to get more out of life and push your comfort zone right to the limit.

“I have a few ideas.” He smirked, then grabbed your hand twirling you around as though you were ballroom dancing.

“What are you doing?” You giggled, the corners of your eyes crinkled as he pulled you into his chest, guiding one of your hands to rest on his shoulder as he grasped the other in his and held them up as though you were dancing the waltz; finally placing his hand on your waist.

“I don’t suppose you would have seen it but in 2015, the American qualifying was cancelled due to rain and to pass the time I danced with my teammate. I figured I would make a tradition of it.” He explained, twirling you around again.

“Did Lando not want to dance with you?” You questioned, the corners of your lips quirked up. Daniel stopped and took a step back. For a moment you thought you had said something wrong but then a spray of water splashed up the front of your coat. Gasping, you wiped the water from your face and Daniel’s smug smile came into focus. You looked down to where he was standing and saw a gaping hole that had now filled up with water.

“You little-” You had begun, a smile betraying you entirely as it crept upon your features. You wanted to pretend to be angry but he had caught you off guard.

“I thought that you would be a nicer dance partner - but apparently not.” He retorted, biting down on his lip in an attempt to stifle his laughter at your facial expressions. You looked at him and then down at the puddle, back at Daniel and then decided what your next move would be; before you could however he had picked you up over his shoulder, spinning around happily.

“Daniel-” You protested, having to close your eyes to avoid feeling motion sick. You heard him chortle then give in as you felt your two feet touch the ground once again. You pouted at him, strands of hair now stuck to your forehead - it was a sight to behold. Daniel’s heart skipped a beat, his breath becoming shallower as he brushed the loose strands of hair from your face. He had decided at that moment that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, he was ready to start the next chapter of his life with you. It would be a brand new adventure and probably the scariest yet.

“Marry me.” He mumbled, brushing his thumb over your cheek. He froze, an idea sparked, turning on his heel he fled in the direction of the McLaren garage.

Your eyebrows drew together in confusion, your heart thumping against your ribs. Drawing your lower lip between your teeth, you glanced around you only to realise the whole of the pitlane and grandstand of fans had fallen silent - watching on in anticipation. Had they heard what he had said? How could they have, Daniel had muttered so quietly even you had struggled to hear the words that tumbled from his lips. Little did you know, a camera had caught every moment and you were now the sole focus as you waited for Daniel to come back.

Moments later and he was running out of the McLaren garage, something in his left hand. You squinted to get a better look, from where you were standing all you could see was a flash of blue - but as he came closer you realised what he was holding was in fact a Haribo packet.

Your hands flew to cover your mouth, you knew exactly what he was about to do. You were fighting back tears of joy as he opened the haribo packet and pulled out a gummy ring, got down on one knee and said: “Marry me. Our new adventure, just you and me. My partner in crime.”

Tears ran down your cheeks as you nodded fervently, words appearing to fail you. You flung your arms around his neck. There was an eruption of cheer from around you, as fans whistled and clapped and fellow teams called out in congratulations.

You placed a hand either side of Daniel’s face, tears shone in his eyes. To most a gummy ring would seem immature - laughable even but to you, it confirmed to you how much you loved the man standing in front of you. The gummy ring he had presented to you meant so much more than being a Haribo. It represented you both as a couple. A love that was unconditional and would never get old and yet whilst you both would age - the love you had for one another would stay youthful, unpredictable and exciting.

You were more than ready to start the next chapter of your adventure with the man you loved most.

[ricciardonorrisleclercgasly]

Here goes nothing || Lando Norris

Part 4

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Not my gif

EXPLICIT CONTENT, UNDER 18s DO NOT INTERACT.

Requested: No

Pairing: Lando Norris X Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Penetrative Sex Female Receiving, but also fluffy af.  

NEXT PART 13/12/21 @ 5pm 

Lando gives you a weekend to remember. 

You arrived at work the next day and were immediately rushed into Jim's office, he sat behind his desk with an angry yet amused look upon his face and Lando sat opposite him looking just like a school boy who'd received a telling off. You knew instantly what this was about. "You two have some cleaning up to do today. And no one leaves my office before it's fixed" Jim said sternly spinning his computer monitor around. You're eyes quickly scanned the screen: "Formula 1 driver Lando Norris spotted with mysterious girl just hours after telling fans he's 'single'" the headline read, underneath was a photograph of the two of you getting into his car at the restaurant, his arm around your back and your back to the camera.

"Fuck" you muttered.

"Well I didn't lie, I am single.. for now" Lando laughed, you hit him on the arm, he didn't seem to understand the potential severity of this article.

"Now I have paid a rather large sum of money to get this article taken down, but god knows how many people saw it" Jim said looking at the two of you. "So what do you propose we do?"

"I don't get why it's such a big deal, I'm 22 years old, I'm allowed to date Jim" Lando said getting annoyed at Jim's demeanour.

"How about we write a statement from Lando to say he's dating and when he's ready to divulge more he will do?" You suggested.

"I like it. That could work, get something drafted and on my desk by lunch" Jim said turning back to his computer

"Hang on a minute" Lando said standing up out his seat. "A statement saying I'm dating?! Yeah dating you!" He said throwing his arms up in despair. You just sat there silently not knowing what to say, "Y/N I don't want people thinking I'm just sleeping around with random girls. If they're knowing I'm dating at least let me say who."

"Lando calm down please." You said grabbing his hand, "we've barely been on a proper first date yet, how do you even know you want to do this? I'm not saying we're dating for you to turn around in a week and say we're not."

"Fine. Then let me take you on our date tonight. Then we'll go from there. But in the meantime no statement, just carry on like normal"

"Fine" Jim interrupted. "But I want something to say by Monday. Before we leave for Bahrain"

"Deal" Lando said, "I am going to give you a weekend to remember Y/N"  he said turning to you and giving you a quick peck on the cheek. "I'll pick you up at 6:30, bring an overnight bag" he rushed out the door and off to whatever he needed to do that day.

"I... uh.. I have a lot of editing to do for a releases this weekend.." you said grabbing your things and heading towards the door.

"Don't let me down Y/N, I don't want Lando getting in the way of your work" Jim said "but enjoy yourself this weekend."

You headed up to your office and got to work for the day.

*DING* your phone sounded.

'Have you seen this?!' It was from Maya, a screen recording from Lando's livestream, love bites clear as day, the chat going wild about his "secret" girlfriend.

'It's you right?'

'Yes it's me Maya!' You text back

'I'm going to fix this mess over the weekend, but I am staying at Lando's. The house is all yours.'

--------------

Before you knew it 5:30pm rolled around and you headed home.

"You're staying with Lando all weekend? Y/N you've known him for less than a week!" Maya yelled as soon as you walked through the door.

"Yes I know that Maya, but we have to decide what Lando is going to say on the matter by Monday, and he said he wants to give me a weekend to remember"

You packed your bag for the weekend. You had no idea what Lando had planned so you tried to be prepared for everything, a nice dress, a casual dress, jeans, leggings, t-shirts, a pair of heels and your toiletries. And of course the trainers you were wearing.

*DING* 'I'm outside' Lando text you peered out your window, unable to see his blue Mclaren.

'I dont see you' you text back as the lights on a blacked out Mini Cooper flashed.

'I thought I better be a bit more discreet this time'

You headed out the door shouting bye to Maya as you left, climbing into the car and Lando giving you a quick kiss to welcome you.

"I'm glad you're dressed comfortably, first date here we come"

"Where are we going Lando?" You asked.

"You'll see" he smiled back.

30 minutes later you pulled up on a near empty car park in an even emptier industrial estate.

"Is this the point when you kill me and just leave my body?" You giggled nervously.

"Don't be silly Y/N, come on in here" he said climbing out the car.

You followed him nervously.

Inside the industrial unit you couldn't believe your eyes. "A karting track?" You smiled.

"Yes! I rented it out just for the two of us. A buddy of mine owns it so we don't need to worry about the media. I'm going to teach you how to be a karting driver, just like me" he winked.

You spent the next few hours with Lando showing you the ropes and getting to grips with the kart, you know its nothing quite like a formula 1 car but it was thrilling all the same.

"Come on race me" Lando said climbing into his own kart. "I'll even give you a head start. 3..2..1" he counted down.

You pressed your foot flat to the ground speeding away from the start line, by the third corner Lando had already over taken you. You pushed with all your might and stayed pretty close all the way, just before your crossed the finish line Lando lifted off the throttle, letting you sail past him.

"Hey! No fair you let me win!" You said climbing out the car and removing your helmet.

"No, no you won fair and square" he protested hugging you in tight. "Come on lets go eat, Im starving he said"

Let me know if you want adding to the tag list.

You arrived back and Lando's house just in time to see another car pull off his drive"Who was that?" You asked.

"Erm.. Max.. Fewtrell that is, he was just sorting some things out for me"

You got out the car and grabbed your bag out the trunk, following Lando inside. You dropped your bag by the front door and followed him through to the living room. Your jaw dropped, candles and rose petals surrounding the room, a movie all set up on the big screen, and as much Chinese food as you could possibly eat. "Lando this is beautiful" you said collapsing down on the sofa.

"Only the best for my girl" he said hitting play on the tv. You looked up at the screen and saw your all time favourite movie, "this is my favourite! How did you know?!"

"I may have got Max to do a little digging with your friend Maya after we left today"

"You're the best you know that?" You smiled kissing his cheek.

After you had eaten your weight in Chinese food you cuddled up to Lando on the sofa you could feel his heart beating through his chest. You drifted asleep to the rise and fall of his breathing.

--------------

The next morning you woke up in Lando's bed, but no Lando. You got up quietly and tiptoed downstairs.

"Oh fuck!" You heard followed by a clatter of pots and pans from the kitchen.

"Are you okay?" You said popping your head round the door to see a huge mess in the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'll be honest I was going to cook but then disaster struck so I'm just tidying up whilst I wait for ubereats to deliver." He smiled throwing the pans in the sink.

You ate breakfast together and you sipped coffee in the conservatory looking out over Lando's big garden.

"So I still have to train with Jon today but you have free reign of the house in the mean time, whatever you want" Lando said sipping his juice.

"I want to train with you!" You said back to him.

"Ha no you don't!" He laughed.

"No Lando I do, It'll be good to see what you do, maybe get some content for Instagram"

"Nope, I HAVE to train, you don't have to work, if you're joining me you're doing it all"

"Okay, okay. But don't get embarrassed when I'm better than you" you winked.

You ran upstairs and changed into leggings, sports bra and a grabbed one of Lando's sweaters and came back downstairs. "I'm ready" you called out. "We're in the garden!" Lando shouted back. You walked outside to see Lando and Jon starting to warm up.

"Jon this is Y/N she's.. erm.. she's my girlfriend" Lando smiled at you.

"Ooh nice, couples who train together stay together" Jon remarked, "lets get started"

Jon put the two of you through your paces for the next couple hours, testing your strength and stamina.

"Now we just have Lando's neck training to do, but I wouldn't recommend that for a first timer" Jon laughed setting up his stuff.

"That's okay I'll just watch" you giggled, revlieved that you could rest for a minute. You watched Lando train and snapped a few photos on your phone. "I saw that" he said with a grimace as he pushed through the last part of his training. "I just wanted to get some memories of my weekend to remember" you winked at him.

"Thank God that's over" Lando said turning the shower on and slipping his clothes off, "are you joining me or are you just going to stand there staring" he smirked. You dropped your clothes on the floor and climbed into the shower behind him. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in for a kiss. "I'm really enjoying my weekend with you Y/N" Lando said smiling down at you. "I'm enjoying myself too Lando" he kissed you again running his fingers down your back gripping onto your waist, he tickled your thigh, his fingers trailing up to your core, he slid his finger through your slit, connecting with your clit, circling his finger tip around you, a gentle moan escaped your lips. Lando wrapped his hands around your thighs, lifting you up and pressing you against the wall the cold tiles tingling against your skin. Lando trailed kissed down your neck and onto your chest, leaving marks all over your skin, marking what was his. Lando lined his cock up with your entrance, sliding inside you with ease, you gasped feeling him fill you up. His strong arms wrapped around you pulling you in tight. You knew you wouldn't last long with Lando fucking you like this. The knot in your stomach grew tighter and tighter, your moans getting louder and louder as you neared your high. With a couple more strokes you were there, you clenched your walls around Lando,digging your nails into his back. Lando kept fucking you up against the wall until he came inside you. Kissing you passionately he put your feet back on the ground. You washed each other, Lando washed your hair, it was romantic, like nothing you had ever experienced before.

"You stay here, I'm going to cook lunch" you smiled leaving Lando to get dressed, you slipped on one of his t-shirts and your underwear before heading downstairs. You rooted through the fridge finding something to cook. "Geez this boy mustn't cook very often" you muttered not finding much, you reached up into the cupboards, "Pasta, that'll do" you pulled a bag out the cupboard.

"Now this is a sight I could get used to" you heard Lando say behind you as you started to plate up the meal, he wrapped his arms around you planting a kiss behind your ear.

"Bon Appetit" you smiled handing him a plate. The two of you sat at the breakfast bar eating, "So what do you have planned for this afternoon?" You asked him tucking into your food. "Well Fewtrell wanted to come and film a quadrant video but-" he started.

"Yes! Let me film for you, Please I'd love to get more of my work out there" you interrupted.

"Are you sure babe?" He frowned, "I don't want you to just watch me work all day"

"Yes of course, if we're going to date Lando this is something I'll have to get used to"

"Okay deal"

--------------------

The afternoon flew by, you helped the quadrant team film their newest video and got to meet Lando's friends in the process; Max, Steve, Niran, Araav and Ria.

"It was nice meeting you all" you smiled as the 5 of them started to leave.

"It was nice meeting you, It's about time Lando found a girl instead of spending all is time gaming" Steve laughed earning a punch on the arm from Lando.

"What do you want to do this evening?" Lando asked now the two of you were finally alone again.

"Ha I just want to chill out, we've been nonstop all day" you laughed kissing Lando on the cheek.

'Yeah okay, I can do that'

The two of you cuddled up on the sofa to watch some shitty tv for the remainder of the evening.

"Y/N?" Lando said looking down at you, you looked up at him locking eyes. "I know what I want to say on monday" you gulped waiting to hear what he had to say. "I want to say that I have met the most perfect woman, and although we haven't been dating long, she's everything I've ever wanted and so much more." A tear slipped down your cheek.

"Lando are you sure about this?"

"I've never been more sure about anythingin my life" he smiled wiping your tear and kissing you gently. "Okay?"

"Okay" you beemed back at him.

You cuddled into his chest and he pulled out his phone. "Smile" he said snapping a picture of you both. "Why wait until Monday? Here goes nothing" He said with a smile on his face.

*DING* your phone sounded. You picked it up to see an instagram notification.

'@LandoNorris mentioned you in a story' you clicked the message to see the photo of you and Lando cuddled on his couch with a single orange heart.

"Jim won't be happy about that" you giggled, blushing at Lando's gesture.

"Ehh, fuck Jim, he'll get over it" Lando laughed back.

@allywthsr @idkiwantchocolatee @vendy021 @vp-chan

[witchylittlefox]

My Thoughts and Feelings About Star Wars as of 2019

I held off sharing my complete feelings on this franchise/fandom because I wanted to wait for TROS to be out. since I have seen it now I’m ready to share how I feel about disney owned Star Wars, the fandom war, reylo, and TROS. Heads up these are my opinions and if we disagree that’s okay! But I would appreciate some respect when it comes to nasty comments because some of the things I’m going to say can be..... controversial in the reylo community.

Preface: I have been a Star Wars fan since I was 4 years old. I somehow figured out how to used a VHS machine and I would insert Return of the Jedi and rewind to watch it over and over again. To this day that movie is my favorite out of all of them. Star Wars was something my brother and I shared together and he would lend me all the EU books. I loved all the stories about Jacen and Jaina Solo at Luke’s jedi academy. I grew up with the prequels and yes, I am a prequel defender but they were corny as hell. So not to toot my own horn but I was very much invested in the lore and commited to the series before Disney bought it.

Disney Star Wars: Disney had absolutely no idea what they were doing with the movies (atleast when it comes to the Skywalkers + everyone related to the OT trio). They spat on the OT character’s legacy. They turn Luke into a character who seems to care nothing about helping his sister. No way in the world would Luke just throw a lightsaber off a cliff. Han and Leia are treated a little better (more so Leia), but Disney is passive agressive with them and make them out to be these horrible parents that decide to send away their son because they’re scared of him. No wonder Ben turned out the way he did. Rey, well......they could of written her better and don’t get me wrong I love aspects of her but this should of been Ben’s time to shine. HE should of been the main character of all the movies. Finn? Would of been cool seeing more perspective from an ex stormtrooper but nahhhh let’s just make him fawn over rey in the first one and then in the second give him this whole arc making us think he’s getting somewhere and then another badly written character ruins it. Poe? Well he atleast got more of an arc than Finn but he’s still so flat.

The Fandom Menace And the Fandom War: I decided after TLJ came out that I was not going to label myself in this fight. It seemed like (or atleast on Tumblr) that you couldn’t be a Reylo if you hated Rian Johnson. Rian was made out to be this “savior” of some sorts, just because he focused the movie to be more Reylo centered. YES he is talented. YES I’m thankful he gave us more of a Reylo plot, But jeez that guy is an ass (I didn’t want to cuss in this but oh well lol). Calling out fans on Twitter? Calling them names? Ridiculing Mike Zeroh? Which say what you will about Mike (not a huge fan of him tbh) but god he’s a fan of the series why are you making fun of him? But those people who are apart of the Fandom Menace are not innocent. A lot of them (NOT ALL, but most) only make videos on Youtube hating on Star Wars because it’s cool. They use the hate to get attention. I’m just not all about that. I agree with them on a lot...but seriously at what cost do we have to allow this. Both sides are annoying and immature and I choose not to take a side. I will like what I want about Star Wars and dislike what I want about Star Wars. I am not going to be a sheep. So yes... I am a Reylo, hardcore since TFA came out in 2015 and yes, I think Rian Johnson is a crappy person and I won’t be seeing any of his movies ever again (besides rewatching TLJ) because I don’t want to give money to someone who fuels the fan war. That being said, I dont support (whether that be my viewership or money) anyone who is in the “Fandom Menace” and does the same for the other side.

Reylo: The only thing I really cared about in this sequel trilogy was Reylo. I honestly started to care less about the other characters like Finn and Poe, which in my opinion is sad and just goes to show how bad Disney was at writing these characters. What got me so choked up about their relationship was how raw it was. It wasn’t some unrealistic clean romance. There was no love at first sight (at least on Rey’s end.. can’t say for Ben). It felt so real to me. They reached a level of intimacy that honestly in my opinion reached higher than sexual intercourse. Unconditional love is something that I hold close to my heart, it may be because of my faith, but the fact that Rey saw through Kylo and could see that at his core he was just Ben, emotionally hurt and lost, just wanting someone to believe in him. And she did! she believed in him when his uncle and mother easily gave up hope for him (again horrible character writing bc uhhh sry but isn’t hope supposed to be a theme with them???). And Ben loved her in return!! He protected her and not this stupid patronizing crap that Finn does (Which side note: THAT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH LOL. John Boyega was wasted with this stupid character). Ben knew her strength and worth and only did what a man should do in a relationship, not overstep, not take control but add his part to the relationship, creating symbiosis. If you look up the meaning of “Dyad”, this comes up:

specifically, sociology : two individuals (such as husband and wife) maintaining a sociologically significant relationship

They are equal. No one is better than the other. They are two sides of the same coin and they complete each other.

And at last....

TROS: Well crap. This movie was...... not amazing. I will have to say that I have only seen it once at this point and may make an edit to it if I change my mind. Honestly though... I can’t see myself changing my opinion but it may happen after a second viewing. I had been following the leaks and yup pretty much all true. And yep... Ben dies. Not only does he die but he barely gets any time to shine when he is redeemed. I am grateful we finally got the Reylo kiss we all waiting for but did he really have to die??? I know lots are saying he didn’t die because we didn’t see him show up as a force ghost in the end but obviously there is no confirmation from Disney on this. The fact that he died for her to live just supports everything I have said above. But where was her emotion? I expected her to be crying? it seemed to appear like she couldn’t care less, yet she was the one who went in for the kiss first and then she seems to be fine when everyone is rejoicing and hugging in celebration? Why didn’t they add him in as a voice in her head or something (ooh fanfic idea! :) ) Why did Rey call herself Rey Skywalker?! I’m sorry but she DOES NOT desserve that title plus she is still a Palpatine! That does not change anything. Don’t get me started on Palpatine.... bringing him back was the dumbest decision ever and undid everything that Anakin did. Now I would of been slightly okay with it if they got Anakin in to help to defeat him but we only got his voice and a bunch of other jedi’s voices sharing words of guidance (which ngl it was nice hearing Ahsoka) but holy heck you could of atleast added ben to the mix. They could of both heard the voices and ended Palpatine together? Also what happened to Rey and Kylo fighting through the various scenes of the past movies? I thought that was a leak? They did absolutely NOTHING to tie up the OT and PT. It has no ties to PT, besides Anakin’s voice and some of the other jedi in the mix (Mace Windu, Ayala Secura, Yoda, Ahsoka Tano, etc..). I know I’m nitpicking but I am atleast grateful we got their voices I just wish we actually got to see their faces. That’s a lot of negatives though so here is what I did like:

Babu Frik.

Rey’s kind heart ( you see that when she greets the little girl on Pasaana, helps D.O. and the snake creature)

The banter between Finn, Poe, and Rey

C-3PO ( they really did him justice)

Ben (just all of him everything about him)

Lando was pretty good

Seeing Wicket at the end with his child ( I think that’s his child?)

Wedge Antilles showing up for like one second ( although that could be a negative because I thought he was going to be in it more because of the book Resistance Reborn. WHICH OH YEAH..... this movie retconned that book btw! So not only was it a horrible book but everything in it doesnt matter)

Conclusion: So yeah, I am not happy. But in the end I will always love Star Wars no matter what. This franchise has taught me so much about hope, love, and even redemption. It was such a fun ride on here. There were ups and downs ( anyone remember that Reylo discourse a while back lol) but we made it. Even though as Reylos, it didn’t end the way we wanted it... we still were proved right. We fought hard against the antis when they kept trying to tell us Reylo wasn’t a thing and boy were they wrong..... they were very wrong. I don’t know what the future holds in store for Reylo’s story or even Star Wars but all we have to do is look forward and have hope for Ben because just as the great Jedi Master, Luke Skywalker once said:

"No one is ever really gone."

May the Force be with you all.

[theshijlegacy]

Rise of Skywalker ramblings

Saw RoS last night and loved it. 

I’d seen the mixed reviews and was a bit apprehensive going in, but was pleasantly surprised in a lot of ways.  It kept some of the spirit of TLJ that I liked while still delivering a lot of the “safer” Star Wars story that I expected.  Being part of a super enthusiastic opening night crowd is always fun too.  And it’s nice to see that I’m not the only person who liked the whole 7-8-9 trilogy!

Spoileriffic thoughts below.

--Rey Palpatine was one of the theories I’d kicked around, but it would have been nice if she really was nobody, like the Force doesn’t care who you’re related to. Timeline-wise she would have been better off as his great-granddaughter but I completely buy Sheev having lots of kids and/or having some later in life.

--I’d been running with the “Skywalker is the new name for Force user” theory for a while, but I’m OK with Rey adopting it as her last name.  She doesn’t have to be a Palpatine and the name of the family that saved the galaxy is continuing.

--HOLY CRAP FINN IS FORCE SENSITIVE.  I would love it if that was what he wanted to tell Rey.  (Best answer from Reddit: “I’m in love with Poe and don’t know how to tell him!”)

--Ben Solo didn’t make it to the end!  I was convinced he’d get a redemption arc and live happily ever after. Props to JJ/whoever for going in that direction, especially with the Jedi fadeout.

--The opening crawl getting right to "oh hey the emperor isn't really dead.” So happy they didn't drag out the “when-do-we-see/hear-the-emperor???” mystery

--Sheev Palpatine and his motherfucking contingencies for contingencies, plans-within-plans shit.  This guy was a thousand steps ahead of everyone else, all the time.  Got a glimpse of that in Empire’s End too.

--LOL the tank of Snoke clones.  Sheev loves his clones, in both canon and legends!

--Poe’s lightspeed skipping.  Poe being an ex-spice runner.  Poe and Zorii!  Poe in general.  Poe is great.

--Luke/Leia training flashback!!  Leia's lightsaber!!!!  Which she presumably built herself!!!!!

--3-way Finn/Poe/Rey hug.  And the sound of a thousand fanfics being composed…

--More First Order defectors who had been kidnapped as children.  (Also a plot point in Empire’s End, complete with a 6-year-old-ish Armitage Hux ordering around a group of kidnapped-and-brainwashed child recruits)

--Hux being the mole, not because he agrees with the resistance, but because he hates Kylo Ren.  I bet he was hatching a plan as soon as Snoke was killed.

--Force-healing onscreen!  And it wasn’t just “Force magic” (which I also would have been OK with), it was actual taking life from one to give to another.

--Rey was noticeably better at lightsaber fighting.  She was… not great in TFA.  Only slightly better in TLJ.  Her year of training really shows and I like that we’ve seen a pretty clear progression.

--Rey stopping that transport with some Kyle Katarn shit and Kylo trying to get it back and OH SHIT REY SHOT OUT FORCE LIGHTNING  

--Palpatine: GLADoS edition has been added to my recent “horrifying scene that works but really gives me the creeps” list (also includes flashback to Coulson resuscitation/brain surgery with him repeating “just let me die” on Agents of SHIELD, Brainy getting rebooted on Supergirl)

--Aside from his GLADoS-esque support arm complete with wires, I liked undead-Palpatine's look - missing fingers, whited-out eyes, and his transformation after he stole life from Rey & Kylo.  Especially the red-lined robes.

--Got serious Endgame vibes at the end with all the ships showing up. Husband unit also pointed out the parallel of “I am inevitable”/”I am Iron Man” and “I am all Sith”/”I am all Jedi”

--OMG ALL THE JEDI SPEAKING TO REY.  I didn’t recognize everything at first but I heard Obi-Wan (young & old), Yoda, Mace Windu, Ahsoka(!!!!!), and Anakin.  Per the credits, voices also included Qui-Gon(!), Luminara Unduli, Aayla Secura, Adi Gallia, and Kanan Jarrus(!!!!!).  Two notable absences: Cal Kestis and Ezra Bridger.  I can accept Cal’s fate as TBD since Fallen Order just came out, but this is really good news for Ezra.  I am now super super interested to see where these two have been.

--Kept the Rey/Kylo force-connection deal.  It weirded me out in TLJ but I’m really glad it was kept here.

--Wedge coming back for one last ride!  (and aging pretty well, wow)

--RIP Snap.  :-( I’d grown a bit attached to him after the Aftermath trilogy, but I think Norra and Brentin would have been proud.

-- ForceGhost!Luke has a new attitude; I guess being dead for a while tends to mellow you out.  I am still 100% OK with his character in this trilogy.

--Kylo not being as good at fighting after he dropped the dark-side allegiance – specifically the 6v1 fight against the Knights of Ren before he got the lightsaber.  Like he'd been into it so deep for so long he forgot how to fight without it.

--Han coming back one last time for some Ghost Dad Advice

--THANKS FOR NOT KILLING CHEWIE!!  I was seriously worried

--Rey fights herself!

--Where can I buy a replica of that Sith wayfinder?  I do like shiny force-user crystals/holocrons/etc

--Rey finally builds her own lightsaber!  And it’s yellow.

--TAKE THAT REYLOS: Oh you want a kiss huh?  There’s your kiss!  AND NOW HE’S DEAD.

--That whole scene.  Kylo staring at dead Rey.  Kylo force-healing Rey and bringing her back to life.  And now they’re staring at each other, and I’m thinking don’t kiss you idiots, don’t fucking do it.  FUCK they did.  I actually booed out loud.  (I will not deny being a little bit happy that Kylo died immediately after)

--All of the “are you happy Ep 7 & 8 haters???” stuff: Rey is super powerful because she’s Palpatine’s granddaughter, someone bringing up a “why don’t we Holdo this” argument and getting shot down with good reason, showing Leia’s Force powers with a flashback to being trained by Luke AND having her own lightsaber

--The urgent timeline got kind of.. muddled?  Forgotten?  They had 18 hours or 12 and still had time for all those spacejumps and Lando gathering friends from all over?

--A bit too on-the-nose with some of the ROTJ parallels.  Lando in disguise saving the day on a desert planet! Speeder bike chase!  Emperor taunting Our Hero while their friends are losing a huge battle outside!  A Skywalker dies so Our Hero can live!

--Also wondered if one of the writers played SWTOR: Emperor who really isn’t dead uses Super Mega Force Lightning and tries to jump into Our Hero’s body to take over their mind.

After chewing on this for a day, here’s my ranking of Skywalker/Palpatine saga films from best to worst:

5 > 8 > 9 > 4 > 7 > 6 > 3 > 2 > 1

And including Solo and Rogue One:

5 > Rogue One > 8 > 9 > 4 > 7 > 6 > 3 > Solo > 2 > 1

tbh I’m so far into the “inject all Star Wars content directly into my veins pls” territory that I can’t say I hate any of it, and even the cringiest prequel moments are leaps and bounds ahead of a lot of other junk I’ve watched/read/played.  So much about Star Wars is just FUN, and I will gladly handwave away most of my nitpicks (SpeedForce, I ain’t gotta explain shit) for the sake of enjoying the story.  Even the ridiculous stuff that I poke fun at is still a part of the whole mess; it can’t all be great or even good or OK and that is fine with me.  [NOTE: I have not watched the Holiday Special but the husband unit is weirdly enthusiastic about me doing so; it may happen yet this year.] 

I really like this comment from the A.V. Club.  More cynical than my overall take on the whole shebang but I totally know with where they’re coming from.  I don’t agree with all the responses but it’s a pretty good discussion.

[thatdisneydame]

The Rise of Skywalker

This is a FULL review so do not read this if you do not want spoilers. To read a basic review please go HERE. 

To give a quick backdrop of the state of mind I am in while writing this review, it is 2 AM the night after watching The Rise of Skywalker. I have been thinking of only TRoS since walking out of the theater, trying to process and absorb all my feelings about it. In general, I give this movie an 8/10 or 4 out of 5 death stars. While I wholeheartedly enjoyed the movie I still had some small issues that just added up. Edit* after watching it again 48 hours later, I have changed my review to 8.8/10 or 4.4 out of 5 death stars.

In my previous review, I mentioned that the pacing was very quick. The movie opens up with Kylo Ren absolutely destroying everyone and everything in his way to get a Sith Wayfinder. We immediately see that Kylo Ren is on his way to a new planet called Exegol where Sheev Palpatine is “alive,” but literally looks like a zombie marionette. IMMEDIATELY Palpatine welcomes Kylo Ren. Palpatine has been expecting him and how he has been controlling Ren from the beginning. He was Vader’s voice that Kylo heard, he was Snoke and now as a returned Emperor he will give Kylo Ren all the resources, a sith fleet, he needs to make the First Order the Final Order and kill Rey. I am going to just digress for a moment here and say that by the end of this series of events maybe fifteen minutes have passed in the movie and that includes the opening crawl. The crawl did nothing to prepare me for Palpatine to be the way he was and let me tell you that he looked terrifying. His body looked like it was decaying, he was missing fingers, his eyes were clouded over and he was literally being hoisted around like a puppet. 

Palpatine then tells Kylo Ren that if he truly wants to rule the galaxy, he needs to kill the girl (Rey), but to beware because she is not who Kylo thinks she is.

Continuing, we then find out that there is a message from a mole in the First Order which is retrieved by Poe and Finn on the Falcon. But where is Rey you might ask? Rey is being trained by Leia and our first shot of Rey is one of my favorites of her. Rey has been spending her time trying to connect with all the Jedi of the past by levitating herself and a bunch of rocks while she meditates. I do not do the shot justice, but in just a couple of seconds, the audience sees how powerful she has gotten. When she doesn’t connect and gets mopey about it, Leia does the coach thing and lets Rey take the Jedi equivalent of a lap which she does, but fails due to flashes of memories and visions of her childhood and a very brief glimpse of Dark Side Rey. Rey is very put off by this and gives Leia Luke’s lightsaber saying she has to earn the saber. Transmission over the radio from the mole signifies the start of rising action, the introduction of the Final Order and the total destruction of the remaining free systems. The resistance freaks out over the return of Palpatine “how is he back?” “Cloning, lol IDK.” We don’t really get an answer so my answer is, the dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. Well now the resistance needs to find him and nobody knows where...except Rey because she has been reading Luke’s diary. She says she doesn’t know where to find him, but she knows how because Luke was looking for a sith Wayfinder too and she will find (and kill) Palpatine with or without Leia’s blessing.

Flash forward to the desert where there is a dagger that can lead Chewbacca, C-3PO, Rey, Finn, and Poe to the Wayfinder. Rey heals a new creature, whose name I can not think of right now, which thanks to The Mandalorian ep 7 we know is a light side/Jedi ability which allows them to escape sinking sands and escape on a ship. This is also important for later in the movie. Well, the ship happens to be the same ship that Rey’s parents left on when she was a child. Also, this ship was captained by a sith sympathizer. Just as Rey, Finn, Poe, C-3PO, and Chewbacca start to leave Rey senses Kylo Ren coming in his tie fighter and waits for him. During this time the First Order has captured Chewbacca and the dagger and taken him on a transport ship. Rey uses the force to keep the ship from entering the atmosphere and Kylo simply plays with her and just starts using the force to propel the ship higher. Rey becomes enraged and OH MY GOD SHOOTS LIGHTNING OUT OF HER HANDS AND CAUSES THE SHIP TO EXPLODE! Sidebar: when Rey did that I was so absolutely shaken. I was both amazed by her ability and vexed that she had killed Chewbacca. In my other review, I said that some scenes seemed longer than they needed to be. Watching it, at the moment, I was wondering when something was going to happen because it felt like they could have continued their game of push and pull for the rest of the movie. Looking back I believe that scene was the perfect length. While the whole desert sequence maybe seemed/was too long, the build-up to Rey’s force lightning was perfect BECAUSE it was taking longer. You start thinking this is taking fore-OH, MY GOD!  EDIT* after watching it a second time the scene was shorter than I thought, but the first time I watched it, it felt like triple the time it actually was. The whole desert sequence, in my opinion, lasted too long.

Well with Chewbacca dead and no knife, the group must travel to a different planet to visit a black market droid hacker to retrieve the translation of the sith runes stuck in C-3PO’s memory. Well, why doesn’t C-3PO just tell them the translation? Because it would make the movie 20 minutes shorter and not require two other characters. Just kidding. C-3PO’s programing is forbidden to translate restricted languages i.e sith runes. This will cause a total memory wipe though. They go through with it and have to escape the planet because the Knights of Ren and Kylo Ren are coming. As they start to head out Rey senses Chewbacca on Kylo’s Star destroyer. He’s alive. There is dramatic irony because we, the audience, saw that Chewbacca survived because of the second craft in the desert. The group and a newly rebooted C-3PO go to Ren’s Star Destroyer.

Once there they split up. Rey goes to find the knife which she feels she needs while Poe and Finn go to find Chewbacca. The knife is in Ren’s chambers. Just as she finds it, Kylo and Rey connect via the force, Ren is on Kijimi while Rey is on the destroyer. Kylo taunts Rey about her lineage and if she still counts the days since her parents left her. While she fires back asking if he still sees his father. It gets to be too much for Rey and they start a really cool fighting sequence where we see just how powerful their connection is. They accidentally destroy a pedestal with Vader’s helmet and Kylo figures out where she is, he is going to tell her exactly who her parents are. Meanwhile, Poe and Finn managed to break Chewbacca out but were captured. They are about to be executed when Hux takes a blaster from a trooper saying he wants to do it. We hear three shots and the camera turns to Hux and three dead troopers to which he says “I’m the spy!” Finn and Poe are blown away. Hux takes them to where they are keeping the Falcon but tells Finn to shoot him in the arm. Finn shoots him in the leg. Finn asks why he’s helping. “I don’t care if you win, I need Kylo Ren to lose.”

Cut to Rey and Kylo Ren confronting each other on the destroyer. Rey is ready to fight, but Kylo is not fighting, he’s here to give her the news. She should join him, they are a dyad in the force, two parts of the same element. Her parents weren’t nobody but chose to be. Her parents sold her to protect her from her grandfather. Rey’s father was the so of Palpatine. Rey is a Palpatine. Kylo asks for her to join him, but she refuses and Poe and Finn show up with the Falcon allowing the whole group to escape.

We then see Hux on the bridge reporting to Pryde about how and why Finn and Poe escaped. Pryde seems calm and orders the people around him to alert the supreme leader. He then snatches a blaster out of a trooper’s hand turns and kills Hux. “We found the spy.” I thought this was very anticlimactic for Hux’s character.

The group heads toward the Endor system to find the Wayfinder as 3P0 said it would be there. The group crash lands and gets the help of former first order troopers. Rey, being impatient and more resolved than ever to rid the galaxy of Palpatine and the Sith takes a skimmer to the Death Star wreckage to find the Wayfinder. After climbing we see her in Palpatine’s throne room where she discovers a hidden door that leads to the Wayfinder. She is confronted by her dark side self who has filed teeth. She gets knocked out of the room, drops the Wayfinder and is confronted by Kylo Ren who tells her she can never go back for the same reasons he can’t go back. Rey is not going to be goaded and sternly tells him several times to give her the Wayfinder. He destroys it which causes Rey to attack. They have a spectacular fight, possibly one of my favorite fights in the entire saga. They are totally utilizing the force and doing moves we hadn’t seen. Eventually, Kylo gets the upper hand and is about to kill Rey when he sees a vision of his mother calling his name. He drops his saber, but Rey catches it and impales him as Leia dies. Rey sees what she’s done and retracts the saber. She heals Kylo Ren the same way she healed the serpent, telling him she did want to take his hand, Ben’s hand. She leaves in his tie fighter, leaving Kylo on the Death Star to mourn and contemplate.

Poe, Finn, Chewie, C-3PO, BB-8, and D-O make their way back to the Resistance Base where they demand to speak with Leia and are told she’s gone. Chewbacca has a heartbreaking reaction. Poe goes to pay respects to Leia and asks how she did it. Lando enters the room and tells him that they had each other, Luke, Han, Leia, and Lando. Poe realizes that he needs help and promotes Finn to general. The two of them begin preparations to confront the Final Order and the Sith Fleet.

Meanwhile, Kylo Ren is still on the Death Star thinking when he is confronted by the memory of Han. I was not expecting this at all and it was handled so well. The two mirror the conversation they had on the bridge of Star Killer base. Han tells him that while his mother is gone the beliefs she fought for are still there. “I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.” “Yes, you do.” Kylo Ren gets emotional, “Dad.” “I know.” He then turns and throws his lightsaber into the ocean, officially coming back to being Ben.

We then see Rey throwing logs onto a burning Tie Fighter, crying. She then takes out the lightsaber and chucks it into the flames, when Luke’s hand stretches out of the fire and catches it. He tells her a Jedi’s weapon deserves more respect. She tells him she is going to stay there forever like he did. Luke tells her he was wrong, that it was fear and that she doesn’t need to be afraid of who she is, Palpatine is just a name. Rey realizes Luke and Leia both knew who she was but trained her anyway because of her spirit, her heart. Luke then brings her to a hut where Rey discovers Leia’s lightsaber. Luke tells her that Leia gave it up when she sensed the death of her son but would be used again by someone else. Rey has no way of getting off the planet or finding Exegol to which Luke responds she has everything she needs. Rey goes back to the ashen Tie Fighter and retrieves the only remaining Wayfinder. Luke is then seen lifting his old X wing out of the water mirroring the attempt on Dagobah years before, instead this time Luke succeeds.

At this point, everything gets kicked into high gear. Rey goes to Exegol, the Resistance follows her signal. Rey goes to confront Palpatine. Who is ready and waiting for her. “Long have I waited for my granddaughter to come home.” He then says one of the coolest and bone-chilling lines in the whole movie. “Welcome Empress Palpatine.” Rey refuses to take the throne and become a sith, she will destroy the sith as a Jedi. Palpatine can sense her anger and hatred and tells her that’s what he wants because if she kills him with her hatred all the sith will pass on to her. Meanwhile, the Resistance is fighting the fleet with the planet-killing canons. Finn rides in on the backs of animals to fight and target the signal that was made to guide the fleet out. Ben shows up on Exegol ready to help. He runs into the Knights of Ren and fights them, getting his butt kicked due to his lack of a weapon. Palpatine shows Rey that her family is losing and the only way to stop it is to kill him. She reluctantly agrees knowing that this is the only way to save her friends. Rey and Ben sense each other and right as Rey is about to strike she sends the Skywalker lightsaber to Ben like a cool magic trick allowing him to defeat the Knights of Ren and Run to help Rey. Meanwhile, Lando has returned with Chewie on the Millenium Falcon and hundreds of ships answering the Resistance’s call for help.

Palpatine realizes he is going to get nowhere when Rey wields Leia’s old saber and Ben wields the Skywalker saber. Palpatine decides he is going to kill them. But while using the Force on them he gets healed and finds out they are a dyad in the Force. Two parts of a whole. There combined souls give Palpatine strength and he reforms and heals himself in a way that reverse mirrors the healing ability. Instead of giving life, he takes it. Rey and Ben collapse, appearing dead. He sits on the throne of the Sith and casts Force Lightning, causing all resistance ships to short circuit. Ben starts to stagger up but Palpatine uses the Force to throw the last Skywalker down a chasm in his own twisted sense of poetic justice. Rey opens her eyes and sees the destruction happening in the sky. She tries to connect with all the Jedi of the Past while we zoom past the fighting into the atmosphere and into space when we suddenly hear the voices of the past Jedi giving me major Avatar: The Last Airbender series finale vibes. They all call out to her telling her that they are with her as all the Jedi were with them, telling her to get up and fight. This is truly a beautiful scene, an emotional one that tugs at your childhood. Rey stands up, weak but ready to fight. Palpatine uses force lightning, just playing with her telling her she can’t defeat him, he is all the Sith. Rey uses Leia’s lightsaber to block the lightning with ferocity. She tells him “And I. I am all the Jedi.” she uses the Force to pull the Skywalker saber toward her and she crosses them and advances forward causing the lightning to redirect and as she gets closer Palpatine disintegrates like Thanos snapped his fingers. The Resistance has defeated the fleet by officially destroying the leading ship and take out the planet-killing cannons causing them to explode. 

Rey has completed the battle and retracts the sabers. She drops them one by one until she collapses. Dead. Finn senses it and suddenly stops and leans against a wall saying, “Rey.” I had been rooting for Rey since the beginning of the trilogy so this scene got me. I started getting tears in my eyes. Not because of the scene, but because she did it. Despite the odds being stacked against her more or less from the beginning. Because of the terrible life she lived before the events of TFA. We then hear Ben climb out of the chasm. How he survived, I do not know. He sees Rey’s body and begins to crawl to her as quickly as he can. He picks her up and cradles her while he tries to not cry. He then remembers the healing ability and heals her. She wakes up, smiles and calls him by his real name. “Ben.” They kiss, and Ben smiles, content with the way things turned out when he slumps over and we realize that Ben has died. In a really sweet moment, Ben and Leia’s bodies disappear simultaneously becoming one with the Force, at peace.

Rey and the Resistance meet back up with a tearful celebratory embrace amongst Finn, Poe, and Rey. Celebrations on various systems including Endor are seen. Chewie finally gets a medal, given to him by Maz.

The final scene of the movie is of Rey on Tattoonie at the Lars moisture farm where Luke grew up. She looks around and then buries Luke and Leia’s lightsabers deep in the sand. My first thought was ok so she did not just connect with all the past Jedi just to end the order by hiding the lightsabers. Then she pulled out another lightsaber. This is her own. She ignites it and it’s yellow/orange like Cal Kestis’ could be from fallen order. I’m uneasy about the color, but I’m just glad it’s still there nonetheless. A woman remarks that nobody has been at that farm for many years and wants her name. She says, Rey. The old woman probes more, “Rey who?” She looks in the distance and walking toward her are the force ghosts of Luke and Leia. “Rey Skywalker.” They smile lovingly at her. The final shot is Rey and BB-8 standing in front of a beautiful binary sunset. With that, the Skywalker saga comes to a beautiful full circle end.

I’ve read and watched some reviews where people were upset at Rey calling herself Skywalker. I loved it though. First of all, that’s what I wanted from the beginning, Rey Skywalker. But more importantly, it signifies that Rey got to choose her family. Rey chose to honor the people who took her in and loved her. Family is more than your blood. Rey Skywalker is so much better than Rey Palpatine. Rey Skywalker honors all the actions and sacrifices made by ALL the Skywalkers, Ben included. While I understand that some people did not like it, I personally did. 

I have questions though that were just not answered.

What was Finn going to tell Rey while they were in the sinking fields? EDIT*: It was revealed that Finn was going to tell Rey he is force sensitive and I like that a lot more than the idea of Finn telling Rey he loved her. I could see why people thought he was going to say that, but I like the idea of the Force Sensitivity more.

Now that there is no more First Order to fight, what will Poe and Finn do?

What will Rey do?

Where does Rey go?

Will Rey train Finn as a Jedi now that we know for sure he is force sensitive?

Will Rey train other Jedi inductees? 

If BB-8 is with Rey on Tatooine does that mean Poe is with her?

I do have a list of the things I did not like

The pacing- this could have easily been an Endgame length swan song and because JJ did so much to course correct from TLJ that we got so much information in such a short time. I needed a 4-hour long movie with slower parts to let my brain catch up. *EDIT* there are pretty credible rumors of a 185-minute cut and this is what I needed. Also, it makes it longer than Endgame at 181.

All the new characters that were introduced had such limited screen time. This goes with the above but a longer movie would have allowed more time for the new characters who I thought were so cool.

I’m going to get some serious hate here but...I did not like the Ben/Rey kiss. It seemed a bit much and a hug could have been so much more intimate in my opinion. Now, I hated Kylo Ren from the beginning, though he was plain evil, how he brought Rey back from the dead and died in her place was *kisses fingers* Que Bella, and an intimate hug would have pushed me over the top.

I wish Rey being Palpatine’s granddaughter was revealed later in the film. It could have hit harder and been a bigger shock. That knowledge in the back of my mind kept eating at me for the last two acts of the movie and sometimes it was all I could think about.

A list of things I absolutely loved

The lightning Rey shoots- just so freaking cool how she did that man. It was so unexpected.

The lightsaber fights. They seemed so different from the others.

“Empress Palpatine”-chills for days

The “match cut” shots of Han and Ben on the Death Star and how the scene was slightly different but ended in the total opposite of TFA. And MAJOR PROPS to the cast and crew keeping Harrison Ford’s part on the DL.

Leia and Ben dissolving like true Jedi

Daisy Ridley making me think she was actually dead for like 5 minutes. A+ acting.

Ben’s full smile.

Light Rey vs Darth Reydar

The force healing ability and the life-draining ability

“General.” “General.”

C-3PO. He kind of annoyed me the whole saga, but the comedic timing and the performance that was given was just so good.

ALL the Jedi speaking to Rey, I mean: Luke Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda, Qui-Gon Jinn, Mace Windu, Aayla Secura, Adi Gallia, Ahsoka Tano, and Kanan Jarus all telling Rey to get up. Just beautiful and helped tie all three trilogies, TV shows, and novels together.

The Force abilities we had not seen before in the main movies. Weirdly enough I also have a “problem” with this. I really like the new powers, but I wish we had seen them more evenly distributed over the trilogy or the whole saga. But in general, I loved them. They had a purpose and that made it worthwhile.

Ben becoming one with the Force.

“Rey Skywalker”- so nice. so beautiful.

The full circle. The Skywalker story starts on Tatooine and ends on Tatooine and I love how poetic it is. 

Things I would have done differently. Well, first let me begin by saying that anything I would have done differently is more or less of a minor change.

Rey’s lineage revealed- I’m still a little uneasy about her being a Palpatine, but I’ve accepted it. I just wish the reveal had been later, as I stated before. JJ having to reveal it early in the film is probably a way to undo/clarify what Rian Johnson did in The Last Jedi. 

I wish Rose had a bigger part. I like what they did with her, but I wish it was more. Rose’s character was more sure of herself and I liked that so much more than the character we met in The Last Jedi. I’m not saying she needed her own side mission, but a couple more scenes with her at the center would have been great. Maybe she is leading a meeting or getting a squad ready, I don’t know, but just a couple more scenes. Kelly got absolutely trashed because of how, in my opinion, poor her character was written and some more scenes like the way Rose is now would have had great fan turn around I believe.

There would be no Reylo. I do not and have not shipped Reylo ever in this whole trilogy. I still don’t. I will yield to the fact that there were canon feelings for each other. I, however, would not have had that. Ideally, everything would have been the same, but instead of kissing after Ben saved Rey, there would have been a platonic hug, a friendly but loving embrace between two people who have fought for the same ideals and have had a roller coaster of a relationship. I feel like it would have been more impactful and a MUCH harder punch to the gut when he dies. I didn’t ship Rey with anybody because she was one of those characters to me that didn’t have to have a male counterpart. I’m not a huge Marvel fan, but I thought the same about Black Widow. I just didn’t see a need for romance or a romantic relationship. 

Hux’s secret and death. Like Rey’s lineage being revealed I thought killing Hux so early may have been a mistake. The last scene with Hux before he was killed was extremely humerus and they could have kept something like it, but having General Pryde kill him after felt wasted. There were a lot of potentials. What I would have loved to have seen Hux sabotage something big, try to kill Pryde or whatever. I just thought it was an anticlimactic death, once it was said and done. The actual death came as a shock, but looking back I wish it had been more meaningful and bigger. This character had been built up to be one of the most “hated” characters and I just felt like his death should have been bigger and not just a shock.

The final battle. I wish it had lasted longer. This is supposed to be THE battle to end all battles. This is the conclusion of the Skywalker Saga and the final battle against Rey and Palpatine lasted like 15-20 minutes. I just wish it had been longer. Maybe a whole duel between Rey and Palpatine or Rey, Ben, and Palpatine.

The Jedi talking to her. I would have shown their astral bodies, their Force ghosts. The scene was beautiful in its simplicity, but to be able to see the Jedi would have been the icing on the cake. To see them give Rey their power to connect to the Force would have been very moving for many fans. Star Wars Theory on youtube has a pretty neat video about how that scene could have gone with the Force ghosts, I highly suggest you check it out.

Leia as a Jedi. While hardcore fans knew about this due to Legends, the casual fan would have been shocked. We saw Leia use the force in The Last Jedi, and I appreciate how JJ expanded on that. He did not leave anything unanswered. I do not know if that was ever going to make it into the mainstream movies i.e if this was going to be done all along, or if this was JJ’s answer to Leia using the Force in the Last Jedi, but I think it was done really well, and the CGI in that scene made me think I was looking at a young Mark and Carrie/ Luke and Leia. In general, this is a whole series “I would have done it differently.” We can keep Leia training to be a Jedi, but I would have planted that seed much earlier in the trilogy or even the saga. I think that the scene in TLJ would have gotten a better reputation if more seeds were planted.  

The final scene- I understand why it was Luke and Leia, but I would have loved to see the whole Skywalker clan up there. Anakin, Luke, Leia, and Ben all smiling lovingly at Rey, the adopted Skywalker. 

Before I conclude this review I want to make it clear about a few things. 

I am not getting anything from anyone for doing this, this is purely out of enjoyment and so people can read a review.

I feel like I have been bashing on The Last Jedi a lot in this review, and while I liked the TLJ as a movie, I did not like it as a Star Wars movie. It is one of my least favorite in the entire Star Wars franchise. BUT, if you liked it, awesome. That is the best part about Star Wars, people can have different opinions. Without those opinions, we wouldn’t have some of the discussions that we have brought up.

This film was not perfect. It had flaws, it had things I wanted to happen differently, it had parts I did not even want to happen. This movie was a well done, emotionally exhilarating, visually stunning work of art that showed the heart the whole team that works on the Skywalker Saga put into this film. This film was 42 years in the making and like a thank, you note to the fans. To be honest, it is hard for me to accept that this is the conclusion of a series that I have loved so much. It reminds me of when I finished Harry Potter or Percy Jackson and just couldn’t believe that this was the end. This is not to say that this is the last Star Wars movie. We know of an unnamed 4th Trilogy that Jon Favreau and Dave Filoni are rumored to be involved with after the success of The Mandalorian. Rian Johnson is rumored to be working on more Star Wars projects as well. This is not the end of Star Wars, but to me, it is still like saying goodbye to a friend. 

Please tell me what you thought of the film. Leave your responses. Do you agree or disagree with my opinions? I’d love to hear from you.

[eswel]

Top moments of the 2010s in my fandoms

This decade was very important to me when it comes to fandom. I finally embraced my inner nerd. That’s why I want to remember the best moments I experienced in relation to my fandoms. I will start with my main one doing a top 5, the others will be a top 3.

Digimon:

1) Meeting Ayumi Miyazaki and Ai Maeda: I never thought it would happen. Some anime convention producers brought them to my country. I feel so blessed I had that opportunity. They were transcendental for my childhood. Also, they’re very nice people. I had such a blast in their shows, I hadn’t enjoyed myself in a concert since I was a teenager.

2) X digimon revival: I love the X digimon, although the old designs weren’t very good. So I was very happy Bandai decided to pick them up again and stepped up their game, because the new designs are gorgeous.

3) The series come back to local TV: We were all happy in my country when we heard the news, because it hadn’t aired in like 10 years and we asked for it during a lot of time. People commented and a sense of community was developed. We roleplayed the characters, it was a lot of fun.

4) Appmon: I fell in love with this series. It was the first one since Tamers that I watched in its enterity while it was airing. I enjoyed following it every week. It has its faults, but it has a very special place in my heart and I think it has the most charismatic characters since Adventure.

5) Hunters’ crossover: I wasn’t following the series back then, although I was aware that Xros Wars existed. When I heard that all the leaders from previous seasons would show up I was super excited, so I decided to watch that episode live. My surprise was even greater when I saw that almost all the other characters were also in it. I remember those 3 minutes were so intense that I got a headache later out of pure excitment.

Animation:

1) Live action adaptations: While others don’t like them, I love them. I find very interesting the twists that they put to their stories and characters’ development. Although I feel that lately they are staying too close to the original movies instead of taking risks.

2) TV series: I was surprised when I heard about the Tangled series and The Lion Guard. It feels like a revival of the 90s, when the movies had series, too. The Revival era really mirrored the Renaissance era, uh? On the other hand, Dreamworks developed in this market with its fair share of shows. I was even more surprised when I heard they would bring Spirit back. Who would have thought.

3) The Big Four: It was such an interesting and fun crossover. Two from 2010, two from 2012. Two from Disney, two from Dreamworks. I think it was very creative.

Star Wars:

1) Rogue One: I believe it’s unanimously considered the best movie of  the franchise this decade, right? It was such an intense story, I remember  seeing the destruction of a planet being inside of the planet gave me chills and the final scene with Vader, too.

2) Diversity: It was very nice seeing a wider range of actors joining the franchise, from asians to latinos. Personally, I feel super proud of Oscarito, Dieguito and Pedrito (especially him, since he’s from my country).

3) Seeing Pablo Hidalgo: I always saw convention’s panels on videos and it seemed something so big and epic. In 2017 I had the chance of attending a panel for the first time when the Comic Con of my country brought “Mr. Canon”. He revealed some things about The Last Jedi. I was happy, because 5 years earlier I missed Lando’s actor when he came to the same event.

Dragon Ball:

1) Episode 131 screening: I believe this hasn’t any precedent and didn’t happen anywhere else in the world. It’s incredible the impact that this series has in Latin America. People went to bars and public plazas. Some of these events had even the support of the local authorities. I went to the one they made in my city. It was kinda embarrasing, because of the technical problems they had, but in the end we still could watch and share with other people.

2) Battle of Gods: Latin America was one of the first places outside of Japan that got to see this movie. It had a phenomenal reception and I believe it influenced the way the franchise developed afterwards. It was a lot of fun watching the films on the big screen, because generally people don’t express themselves that much during movies. There’s like this unspoken rule that you have to avoid bothering other people, but during these they just let themselves out: they laughed, they yelled, they clapped. We shared the experience collectively.

3) Universe Survival arc: I was tired of the series by the time that the Trunks arc ended that I almost considered dropping it, but I’m glad I didn’t. I think the last arc was the best and it revitalized my interest. They gave time for the other characters to develop, instead of focusing only on the main ones and the new characters were also very interesting and diverse.

Sailor Moon:

1) The series comes back to local TV: After Naoko released the broadcast rights, my country was one of the first to air the series again after Italy and Israel, I believe. I found out of sheer luck halfway through the first season and it was THE series that pushed me to start watching anime regularly again.

2) Sera New: In addition to the series, the musicals came back, too. I never really watched any of them. I want to, but there’s too many of them that I wouldn’t know where to start. So it was a nice opportunity when the last one premiered on cinemas around the world. I had to go to the city next to mine to watch it, though, because my local teather didn’t release it.

3) Revival: This could apply to several anime series through this decade, but I find this one noteworthy, because the 20th anniversary is the first event of that kind I remember (others would follow). I predicted that a new anime would be announced. Afterwards came a wave of merchandise, which I find interesting, because it included practical products catered specifically to the female audience that grew up with the series who are now adult women.

Harry Potter:

1) Seeing Matt Lewis, Chris Rankin and Stanislav Ianevski: In 2010, Warner sent the actors on press tours around the world to promote Deathly Hallows. It was the first time someone from the movies came to South America. I went to the cinema and waited outside to see Matt. Some fans tried to convince the guards to let us in haha. Sadly I couldn’t get an autograph, but I took photos of him. Later in 2018 Chris and Stanislav were invited to a convention (originally the guests were Katie Leung and other actress that I can’t remember right now).

2) Final movie premiere: It was one of the few movie premiere’s livestream I have ever followed. There was a lot of fans from everywhere around the world. It was very emotional seeing everyone together and united. And it got gradually even more emotional seeing every actor for the last time. By the time of the speech I was crying.

3) New editions: When I was growing up, the books had just one cover in each country. But during this decade they released new versions dedicated to the 15th and 20th anniversary, plus the illustrated ones. There’s so many covers now that I get lost, but it feels nice knowing it’s following the path of the classics that get new covers from time to time.

[theleafpile]

@dressedforthebills asked, in reference to the post I made stating that Solo: A Star Wars Story, is a bad movie:

What makes the writing bad? Plot? Structure? What stereotypes would that be?

So I’m just going to go over what’s fresh in my head, so there might be some pieces missing that I’m not particularly interested in. I enjoy the Star Wars movies and read a lot of fic about it, but I’m not a die-hard fan and haven’t read anything in the extended universe.

SPOILERS abound.

Rule #1 of Storytelling: Don’t tell the audience something they already know.

Solo already sort of breaks this rule simply by existing, but we could forgive that fact based on the idea that it was meant to show Han’s early years. However, this rule sticks out to me throughout. 

We know Han won the Millennium Falcon from Lando in a card game - we see two (three?) card games played. It’s difficult to be invested in a card game when you don’t understand the rules. When they lay down their cards, we have no basis of understanding if they are good or not before being shown an in-world audience reaction, which throws off the beat. (At least in most card movies there is a shot of the cards and a voice over of the dealer saying what the hand is for those who don’t know, so the audience can see the cards and hear the hand and make the connection as though they made it themselves. So that could be a simple editing issue.)

We know Han and Qi’ra don’t end up together. We have no reason to be invested in their romantic arc. I could forgive this if they did something at the end like they did at the end of Casino Royale, where the pacing was thrown off because we thought Bond was really going to leave with Vesper, only to find out that she betrayed him at the end and he vowed to go back to work (and never fall in love again). But instead, at the end of Solo, we have Solo left on a beach wondering why the fuck the ship Qi’ra is on is suddenly leaving - was she trapped? Did someone else take over? Is she a hostage again? (all perfectly acceptable canon questions that Han would ask). There’s no clear cut image or moment to show that that was a betrayal, leaving us (and Han) confused.

Rule #1 of Romance: If you have to show two characters kissing to show they’re together, it’s bad writing.

The first scene with Qi’ra and Han breaks this rule. He’s running, in a panic - there’s no reason at all why he would suddenly stop what he was doing, switch gears immediately from panic to lust, and kiss her as he did. It’s a simple and fast way to show two characters are allied, but its boring. If he saw her hiding and waiting for him, and while running took her hand and dashed them to a safer place it would have 1) established that he is confident in his surroundings enough to hide (we love experts) and 2) shown them allied anyway.

They were able to show Qi’ra and Dryden Vos allied even though they never macked on one another, which I guess was to show that Qi’ra still had feelings for Han and that she wasn’t really on Vos’ side.

Qi’ra would have been a more interesting character if she were Han’s sister, not his love interest. 

The guilt he feels for not be able to return to Corellia sooner and the worry he feels over her would have been more palpable if she were his blood relation, the only person in the world he had left and/or could trust, and the only person in the galaxy who could have actually relied on him - making seeing her on the yacht that much more of a surprise, showing that this girl who once relied on him has grown up.  

Also, it would have made a neat parallel for Leia/Luke if there was any strange sexual chemistry between Han and Qi’ra’s actors.

No idea what planet Han was on as a soldier, their objectives, or the purpose.

Which, I guess, was the same as Han felt. If confusion was the goal, they got it. In the book, I guess, they give a reason why Chewbacca was caged there, but for the movie they didn’t tell us so it just felt very, you know. Contrived.

The heist scene doesn’t make any sense.

The goal was to attach the ship to one shipping container, detach the container, and lift it away. Which means that there was no reason to blow up the bridge ahead. Which means...

Val didn’t need to die during the heist.

There was no reason to kill her character. If they were doing this job, as Beckett said, to steal a bunch of coaxium for a gangster, then being a thief she would know the risk involved (i.e., Dryden Vos would kill them if they did not return with what was asked) and not be willing to sacrifice herself in the chance that 1) their failing plan would work, 2) Beckett would survive, 3) the coaxium would survive and 4) her life was worth saving Beckett.

Which, love, I guess. But seriously she had no reason to die. And, being the only black character of the group, it was pretty shitty that killed off her and the alien pilot and not one of the two white guys. Because plot. Of course.

Coaxium is apparently super unstable when unprocessed - but it’s okay to be tossed around.

Take any high school chemistry class and the teacher’s going to tell you that unstable materials are called that for a reason. All the moving around they do getting the raw coaxium out of the mine, loading it and transporting it on the ship, and the temperature heating up to the breaking point (yet still safe enough to get onto the other world, unloaded, and stuck in a container and plugged into something that I guess immediately neutralizes it) but it’s still able to be handled, without any safety gear, by Beckett when he takes “a drop” (not a unit of measurement) and shoves it into the fuel line of the Falcon.

I mean, hell. When it is processed look at Han so carefully gives the containers over to Dryden Vos. The audience is meant to think he’s being too extra careful because we think it’s fake and he’s overdoing it, but - no. That’s how you handle very explosive processed material. I guess the “super unstable” unprocessed material is okay, though.

Stereotypes.

Seems like Hollywood can’t make a movie lately without poking fun at “SJWs.” Enter L3. Who walked, talked, and sassed like a prototypical black woman. No thanks. She did have some funny lines, but I hate how her character’s actual correct ideas were treated as the punch line. (The same problem Hermione had with the SPEW stuff in the HP books.)

Lando is vain. He has a whole closet for capes. Unfortunately we don’t get to see him be or say anything vain at all whatsoever elsewhere. 

The alien pilot at the beginning is like “I am here to state the theme and die.”

Major characterization problems - aka I don’t care about these people.

Qi’ra’s woe-is-me / you won’t look at me the same way if I’ve told you what I’ve done / you don’t know what I’ve done lines. The audience has no idea either, so I feel absolutely nothing when she says these lines. Was she a prostitute? Did she steal, lie, cheat? Did she make other people work for her? How did she get to be in Dos’ inner circle? No clue. It doesn’t make her mysterious. It makes her boring.

Enfrys Nest’s rebellion has nothing to do with rebellion against the Empire. 

Meaning I don’t care about it. That twelve year old mercenary is rebelling against the crime syndicate, which is not affiliated with the rebellion. But wait - 

There was zero indication that was Darth Maul speaking to Qi’ra.

Maul came from a planet where people just... looked like that. The actor was the same but much older, and it showed enough that I had zero inkling to think “oh, hey, that’s Darth Maul” who is a character I really liked. You know why else? Because Qi-gon Jin murdered his ass twenty years ago. I don’t think the Force can keep you alive after being sliced in half and sent down a bottomless well. That’s not how the Force works. They tried to make me think it by needlessly igniting his double bladed red lightsaber, but I was still like.. okay. Another Sith. Whatever.

Also. There’s no indication in the prequels that Darth Maul was the leader of a crime syndicate. 

Things I liked:

- Making the Kessel run. The visuals were pretty cool with the tunnel vision, the Imperial ship, and darting off into the wild unknown with the eldritch monster. Here’s a good example at telling something the audience doesn’t know: Han cheated to do the run in 12 parsecs using the coaxium, which is why no one believes that he actually did that fast. So that’s funny. (”Not if you round down” was a cute line, too.)

- The riot scene with the droids at the mine. They were having a good time.

- Chewie helping his fellow Wookies to get free, and that moment where they touched foreheads. Small character movements like those make a big difference.

- Vos’ blades. That looked like kyber power, which means that those were probably super expensive, and that’s cool characterization. 

So, no. I didn’t like Solo: A Star Wars Story. It added nothing to the characterization of Han or the Skywalker space opera universe we’ve all come to know and love. I know the prequels aren’t as beloved because of the political content, but I think a young Leia movie would’ve been a more worthwhile investment. We could have seen her on Alderran, a planet which we know nothing about, struggling with the life of being both royalty and a senator. We could’ve seen a young woman struggle to be taken seriously at her job that would have had actual in-universe repercussions for the storylines and characters we are familiar with. Yes, it could have had all the problems Solo did, but we would have known that Alderran would be blown up by the Empire, making us root for any chance we saw for characters to leave the planet (and be heartbroken when something required them to stay). 

Young Leia was feisty, not afraid to stand up to Vader (of all people), and I want an origin story for her, dammit! I’m tired of men’s stories! Honor Carrie Fisher you cowards!

[apocryphist]

@vault11overseer​ asked me to rank all of Palpatine’s looks, which was probably at least 40% a joke. Joke’s on them, I’m doing it anyways, starting with the absolutely most wretched of them: 

The classic throne room look

Yeah, I know -- this is The Palpatine Look, the one that defined our mental image of withered old bastards forever in Return of the Jedi. It’s a classic. But looking at it with the nostalgia goggles off, first doesn’t always mean best. There’s nothing regal about this look, nothing that screams Emperor, just a decrepit old man in his comfy clothes. 

Sure, it’s real menacing when the fabric kind of blends into the shadows, but when he’s just walking around?  It looks like he’s wearing evil cotton bathrobe. Even Dooku knew that if you were going to take a nap, you’d better be doing it in black silk pajamas. Next to Palpatine’s other looks, this one’s clear that he’s not trying too hard. 

Which, of course, is the point -- Luke Skywalker sure didn’t expect the bathrobe man reclining in his Death Star Lay-z-boy to summon fucking lightning from his fingertips. That, and Palps just doesn’t have anyone to impress at this point. Who the fuck does he need to dress himself up for? Nobody, that’s who. 

That said, this outfit has an unsung hero -- the cut of that hood. The way it’s draped like that, basically putting his head inside of a triangle, is way more evil than some round hood would be. Seriously, that hood is the reason we remember this look so well. 

Final Verdict: 6/10, a respectable showing in many ways, but his other outfits often take what’s good about this one and do it better. 

Next up...

Pantene-patine

Yeah, that’s not a great pun, but this guy clearly loves having hair a little too much for his own good. It’s like he saw male pattern baldness coming for his colleagues in the Senate, and thought “oh man, they’re all gonna be so jealous when they realize I can still style my hair like Nicholas Cage.” 

But it also gives him kind of the air of a doddering politician. Between the taditional Naboo clothing, unflattering haircut, and the particular brand of politeness he employs, this Sheev Palpatine can blend into the background until it’s time to let his actual personality shine through and steal the space presidency out of nowhere.  

Still not going to save it from a mediocre score, though. 2/10.

Space President, President of Space

Ol’ Palpy’s moving up in the world, so he can trim the weird wings off the sides of his haircut and stop wearing medium blues and purples to look nonthreatening. He doesn’t want to come on too strong, so there’s no hood or whatever, but he takes advantage of the opportunity to wear black and runs with it, only offsetting it with a brown top and sash. Palpatine can afford to look a little evil now; he’s space president. If he wasn’t at least a little evil, what would he be doing in politics?

But the ruffled brown-gold...sweater...? That’s not doing him any favors. 5/10.

Revenge of the Sleeves 

This one’s pushing it, Pal. This outfit might not quite scream evil, but it's at the very least stage-whispering it. All-red color scheme? Shoulder pads like an evil wizard? Sleeves wide enough to hold entire folders in the upper arm?? Also, now that he’s in animation, it’s a little hard to hide the fact that he looks like an evil puppet, but what the hell. The Senate voted him enough war powers that shit shouldn’t matter. 

All of that evil looks good, but those sleeves really do lose this outfit a lot of style points. Still, I guess he just had to do it to em. 4/10 

The murder machine

We all have days where we want to cut lose and just be ourselves, right? Well, this is what Palpatine wears on rare occasions when he can put aside the busy schedule of leading both factions in a galaxy-spanning war, and just be what he is in his heart: a goddamn Sith Lord. 

This doesn’t just scream evil, it screams evil and loving it! He spends his time in this outfit doing two things: cackling, and styling on absolutely everyone he encounters. It’s got that same classic comfy cut as his original Return of the Jedi look, but with a little more class. The texturing is great, the balance of black and red is on point, and it’s got a nifty sith clasp thing. Also, accessorizing with two lightsabers is a risky choice, but it really works out here. 

Honestly, this look is hard to beat, a great combination of old and new.   9/10.

Leather car upholstery from the 90s 

You know, this has a lot going for it. The cut of it is great, with angles seamlessly transitioning into round forms in a way that kind of suggests a business suit. This really says Space President in a way most of his looks don’t. That said -- this texture is just too much. Space leather is nice, but this is just distracting.

Also, I just noticed this, but -- are those loafers? Fucking evil loafers? Sheev, come on. 

 It looks good in darker lighting, though, so I’m gonna give it 7/10.

The Coronation Gown

Motherfucker shows up like “okay, the Jedi tried to kill me, gave me some weird scars, but i’m good. Don’t even pay attention to those scars, I’ve got this sick red robe aND A NEW EMPIRE, SEE YA DEMOCRACY WE’RE GREAT.” 

Also? This is a fucking sith robe. Dude’s just wearing it in public because he knows he’s eliminated the only people who would know what he’s doing. What a fucking power move. 

Is this a little too regal? Maybe for day to day wear, but come on, let Sheevy have his day to wear crushed velvet and unholy symbols of the dark side. 8/10

Classic 2: The Sequel: Redux: Fresh New Emperor Edition

What’s old is new again. right? Mostly. While this is a good look, it’s not as striking as the look he sported in the Clone Wars, and it’s not as creepy as his original look, either. Also: he gets flipped over a chair by Yoda. 

Surprisingly underwhelming, 6/10. 

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain 

Is it cheating to count two looks as one? Probably. But the juxtaposition of his original Space Satan look with Kindly Old Grandpappy Palpatine was fucking incredible. 

You never forget that he’s a bad guy, but you understand the Empire a little better just looking at Hologram Palpatine -- this is the face he presents to the public, a charming and diplomatic wartime leader turned the greatest champion of peace in the galaxy. It’s a hell of a trick. 

Plus, the animated version of the costume is a little more put together than the 1983 version, while still maintaining everything that made the original great. 10/10.

Space Ghost Coast to Coast

Is this our old pal Sheev? No, technically not, it’s a recording of him being projected by a droid after his death. 

Still, I like to think he picked this look out for the Sentinel Droids. Red leather, poofy sleeves, classic Sheev Palpatine material. Also, the faces on top of droids? Very spooky, very necessary, and very Palpatine. A post-mortem message isn’t quite the same with your dead boss staring you in the face. 

However, I’m sorry to say, these sentinel droids look cooler without Palpatine’s face being projected in them. 

They have a really neat look all of their own, and a dead dictator in a fishbowl doesn’t really add much. 7/10

So classic you don’t even know it’s classic

This is how Palpatine appeared in the original release of The Empire Strikes Back, before Ian McDarmid was even cast in the role. And, if I may say so, this is clearly Sheev’s best appearance. Big spooky hologram, lighting so dark you can’t tell where the shadows end and the black clothing begins, eyes that are probably sunglasses with putty on them -- need I go on?

No. No I don’t. Sheev was facetiming Vader from the fucking Coruscant runway where he was showing of his Sheevy Collection. Everyone else in the galaxy, eat your heart out, you’re never gonna look this good. 1,980/10.

...That applies to everyone except Lando. I can’t even joke about that, the man wears capes as fashion statements, and can turn the most painfully 1970s look into something acceptable. Sorry, I don’t make the rules; that’s just how it is.

[corellianangel]

Fan Review: Solo: A Star Wars Story

May contain minor/some spoilers after the cut.

I suspect that Solo: A Star Wars Story might be a bit like its title character. A bit rough at the start, maybe shady, pretty good-looking, and definitely out to get your money. But, as it goes on, it becomes more and more apparent how good and truly nostalgic and lovable it is.

This is a film that “nobody wanted.” Which means...what? I wanted it. When I saw Star Wars ANH, I wanted to know all about that cool Solo guy. And finally, 41 years later, I got my wish. And yeah… I’m mostly happy. After Last Jedi, I was pretty much done with the franchise, so it’s not like I went in with high hopes.

Solo is a relatively low stakes reprieve from the “we must save the world/galaxy/universe” all-or-nothing epic trope that has plagued us for the last few years. This is an adventure, a coming of age, and a western heist. Stakes are high, but only for the characters you are relating with onscreen, making it a curious addition to this year’s blockbusters.

Make no mistake; This is a love-letter to original trilogy Star Wars fans. It’s Han Solo in an Indiana Jones style adventure ( and what could be more fun than that).

4 out of 5 stars.

The first minute of Solo is exactly how a movie about the titular character should begin. But then it immediately lags, then even more so under ill-paced exposition. As soon Han goes solo though, it gains momentum. Then a short few minutes later as Woody Harrelson appears, things get rolling outright.

Alden Ehrenreich takes a bit of time to slide into Han’s scuffed boots, both onscreen and in our fan hearts. But when he does, it works wonderfully. He’s not the sexy gruff cynic Harrison Ford portrayed. No, he’s a “Kid,” who's got dreams. He’s a romantic. He’s wide-eyed, immature, and even petulant at times. But like Harrison’s portrayal, he’s arrogant, talented, goofy, jealous, easily embarrassed and will gladly spin a terrible lie. And oh yes… he can turn it on. Not at first, no… that’s really awkward ( more on that with Emilia). He’s not Harrison Ford by a long shot, but when given the chance later in the film, he makes a scene his own, and it’s HOT.

Unfortunately though, Alden is easily five inches shorter than 6’ 1” Harrison. And it’s glaringly obvious (especially to me, as I am quite a tall person). Sadly, Alden’s 1” platform 2”+ heel boots can only add so much. Otherwise, I’m satisfied with his portrayal. Alden’s a great actor, he had huge boots to fill, and I think he’s really been treated unfairly by the fans. Give the kid a chance, he might win you over.

Donald Glover IS Lando Calrissian though.  He’s sexy, sauve and even a bit silly ( in all the right ways… make no mistake).  I daresay Mr.Glover has taken Billy Dee William’s place in my heart as the epitome of Lando. Whether he’s coming on to Han, or Qi’ra or some unspecified alien species, he’s a pansexual on the level of Oberyn Martell from Game of Thrones. An arrogant playboy badass, who loves all the finest things. He is willing to enjoy everything life has to offer, and why not? It’s hard not to love him as a result. Lando movie, anyone?

Tobias Beckett is everything Han wants to be. Beckett is also in love with fellow crook Val, and his attachment to her is cemented firmly in a couple of scenes, which unlike the Han/Qi’ra scenes–have great chemistry. And Woody Harrelson’s portrayal of yet another grizzled mentor is stunning. I found him much more appealing than Harrelson’s equivalent character from Hunger Games. Though the mantel is starting to wear. Don’t get me wrong. I adore Woody Harrelson. His being in this film gave me a reason to think I might just like it. I’m just not sure I want to see him as yet another badass mentor after this.

When Thandie Newton appeared in Beloved back in 1998, I was an instant fan. I’d seen her before in a few other flicks, but she blew that one out of the water as the title character. Since then she had worked steadily in a number of critically acclaimed roles. I was absolutely thrilled to see her in this as Val. And utterly heartbroken that she was totally underused. When Val is onscreen, she overshadows everyone else, even Beckett. It’s a shame we don’t see more of her than we do. Boo!

Emilia Clarke as Qi’ra…Hmm.  She’s cute, charming, and tries her hand at swordplay here. But honestly, the Queen of Dragons is a poor fit. The original casting call was for anything other than yet another white brunette. And with amazing ladies like Tessa Thompson in the running, why oh why did we end up with Emilia? If not racism (God, I hope not); Ang’s answer: Think $$$, from Game of Thrones fans in theatre seats. I can think of no other reason. Her chemistry with Alden is tepid at best ( and any of that comes much, much later). I feel bad for Emilia here. I think she was miscast, and that tarnish will always stay with the fans. ( P.s. : the three adult heterosexual males I watched the movie with, were over-the-moon smitten with her. To each his own. I guess…)

On to the non-humans...

Joonas Suotamo as Chewbacca is physically brilliant. He’s stolen my heart as Chewie from the lovely Peter Mayhew (sorry Pete) over the last three movies. But honestly, we discover nothing new about Chewbacca in this. Zero. It’s rather unfortunate. I wish I could say more. But we learn more about Chewie in episode three than this. A missed opportunity. Sorry Chewie. For some reason Disney put your character in the doghouse here.

L3-37 is another definite weak spot in Solo. We have a snarky female droid (yay!) as a droid-rights advocate (cool!).  But it’s so completely overwrought. Only Lando’s constant eye rolls save this character from being as ridiculous as Jar Jar Binks. Which is another shame, because I felt she fills in the current canon equivalent of Lando’s copilot droid Vuffi Raa, from the EU/Legends novels from waaay back in the 1980’s, (interestingly they are both pilots, are both self-aware droids and have vaguely parallel fates) Some editing issues arise as far as L3′s character is concerned too. She’ll be leaning, casually watching,  while droids are being slaughtered in front of her, but only interferes with other robots later in the same scene? Why?? Were the first dead droids not good enough for her to save? It’s inconsistent, poor editing; and that really hurts the character. Sorry Phoebe Waller-Bridge, you did great job with what you had. I’m not sure that the script/editing was as good as you deserved.

The spaceship the Millennium Falcon is 100% a full character in this too. Without giving too much away, she represents her pilots as they sit at the helm. She’s treated with more respect - reverence even -  in this, than any other film. And I can say this is her movie as much as it is Han’s. Millennium Falcon fans, you are in for a treat!

And the bad guys...or one guy anyways....

Paul Bettany is chilling and utterly convincing as the gangster Dryden Vos. He also has much better chemistry with Qi’ra than Han.  I’m fairly certain this is mainly due to Paul’s astonishing acting ability.  He first came to my attention as the title character in the darkly funny UK crime film Gangster No.1. I was floored by him then and he’s still blowing me away, even as the rather challenging character Vision in the MCU. Bettany does not disappoint in Solo either. He took over this role with zero preparation, with the weight of replacing another respected actor at the last minute in an extremely troubled production. And the optics of having a white European actor taking over from an African-american are...ermm...not the best. He pulls it off, though. But I can’t help but wonder what Michael K Williams would have brought to the role. Vos is a soulless psychopath under Bettany, not unlike his character in Gangster No.1.  Would Williams have brought the tragic–almost romantic deep spirit and inner strength he brought to his gangster Chalky White in Boardwalk Empire to Vos instead? It’s rather sad we will never know.

I don’t think I can say much else about the other antagonist(s) without spoiling a bunch. But let’s just say...wow! Well done! Surprises and fan service all around!

There is something missing here too. We never see Han as an imperial pilot. Nor the promised Shakespeare-inspired comedic comic book characters that Ron Howard teased last fall.  These gems may be reserved for DVD releases, but I feel Han’s missing academy stint is definitely a gap in this story. And the movie lacks because of it.

Importantly, I do recommend seeing this in IMAX 2D as it is a very dark and muted film.

The usual amazing, special effects, costumes and sets we’ve come to expect from the Star Wars film franchise are all present here.  The styling is different from the previous films, as it takes place about halfway between Episode Three and Rogue One.  It’s neat to see the evolution of the Empire’s gear. 

And the easter eggs are everywhere; prequels, Rebels, Clone Wars, Star Tours ( the Disney Park ride), the comic books from the 1970′s and 80′s, the EU/Legends Han Solo novels by Brian Daley, the Lando Calrissian novels from the same era are especially referenced numerous times. Even the Indiana Jones franchise gets a significantly placed nod.

To say the least, the fan-service is strong with this one.

But not the Force. Not at all. None of that simple tricks and nonsense here at all.

Because I’m a pretty hard-core fan, I pre-bought two showings on initial release. The first time I saw Solo, I was unsure if I actually liked it, but it seemed to be a decent film.  The second viewing ( the same night) was an absolute joy. Times three and four were with different groups of adults, and they all had a blast. Five was with a group of 13 year old girls, and they all enjoyed it too.

So let’s call my rating of Solo then, 4 out of 5 stars. 

Honestly I don’t get the backlash against it.  Don’t take your Last Jedi hate out on this. It’s a fun ride with decent jokes and no space-boob-milk monsters—honest!

And if you think Solo offers nothing different, new, or imaginative. You are 99% correct...Remember, we got that full package of “different and innovative” in Last Jedi. If that’s your schtick, watch that one instead then.

Oh, and one more thing- that 1%?... two words:

Shower scene.

[yeomangamer]

After My Father’s Funeral Chapter 4

Summary: Funerals can be stressful, but so can weddings–especially with a family as effed up as theirs. Unfortunately for Leia, she has both to attend in one go. So much for repression. Modern AU 

Pairings: Leia/Han, Mara/Luke, Jyn/Cassian, Leia&Han&Luke&Mara&Cassian&Jyn, Uncle Owen/Aunt Beru

Chapter summary: You could even call it a date if you actually cared about that kind of thing. Not that either of them did.

Chapter Pairings: Han/Leia, Han&Lando, Jyn/Cassian, Mara/Luke, guest appearance of Shara/Kes

A/N: Favorite chapter, I guess. Based on personal experience, I guess. Please see Ao3 and FFN versions for full author’s notes.

After taking one of her "for emergency only" migraine pills, plenty of water and caffeine, and getting a good night's sleep, Leia made it to the location Han had specified. She wasn't sure what she was expecting. Maybe an early morning race or some convoluted scheme to get into her pants? And if it was either of those, why she was even going? The location was even more puzzling, the Old Temple on the far side of town. It was too quiet for there to be a race going on, but there were too many people there for this to be some plan of Han's to get her alone. Or maybe she wasn't giving him enough credit. There were two signs: one indicating regular parking and the other for show parking. She guess "regular" was what she was looking for, following the sign and parking in a dirt lot behind the main building. It wasn't until she saw the rows of cars sitting in the field with people milling around that she realized what she was at: a car show.

She hadn't been to one in years, since before her parents had died. There were mostly hot rods but there were some racers there as well. She didn't anticipate meeting Han until she got to the racing cars, and so took her time. Leia preferred the hot rods, something Bail had shown her appreciation for. She looked over every one of them, taking her time. Her favorite of the ones so far was the white X-Wing Classic from 1958. She took a picture for Luke, and kept on moving. It was a chillier morning and she had opted to wear a white jacket over her outfit.

Some people she'd grown up with were there, such as the Damerons, Kes and Shara, who were showing off the old '72 firetruck. She had seen them at the party, but hadn't gotten the chance to say hello. They gushed about their newborn son, showed her pictures, and promised to be at the wedding. Leia was glad to have seen them both. Jyn and Cassian were there as well, showing off some of the old cars Mr. Andor had collected.

"What're you doing here?" Jyn asked as they embraced. "Are Luke and Mara with you?"

"No, I'm flying solo today, if you pardon the pun. I promised Han, actually."

Jyn looked very surprised, as did Cassian.

"Just how drunk did you get last night?" He asked, looking concerned.

"It was more migraine related," Leia concede.

"And you're sure you got home alright last night?" Jyn clarified.

"If I didn't, why would I have come?" She eyed both of them. "You know, for someone Mara claims to be 'not that bad,' none of you really seem to trust him."

"He isn't that bad," Jyn said. "He's just-"

"Not as reliable as he could be," Cassian finished.

"Hope you aren't referring to me." The three turned to see Han Solo with his trademark smirk. He nodded to Leia. "So glad you could come, princess. If you follow me, this way to the Falcon."

"I think I'll make my way over there, thanks." Leia turned to get a better look at the cars Cassian was showing.

Han cleared his throat. "Fine, fine, you do what you want. Just, how is an—pardon the expression—amateur going to be able to tell when you get there?"

Leia smirked. "I'll just check for signs of entry around the tailpipe." She walked away from him, moving to the next cars. The owners seemed nice, and offered Leia some coffee.

"I thought you didn't care about this stuff," Han said, towering over her. "You're the one who compared it to a cult." That last part he said fairly quietly so as not to startle anyone.

"I never said I didn't care about cars. It's racing and the drivers I could care less for." She sipped her coffee and moved to the next car.

He followed her. "What, do you like this one?" He said, gesturing to the '84 LN Leia was currently admiring.

She nodded. "Your jealousy is misplaced by following me. I think you should be more concerned some prick's ass-cheek touching your girlfriend's precious hood." She moved on, he followed.

"Jealous? I never said I was jealous." His tone was semi-indignant, but also not entirely serious.

"You didn't have to, its written all over you face." By then they had reached the racing cars and Leia asked to see the Falcon.

"So now when you get to the good part, you wanna skip ahead?" Han clarified, crossing his arms over his chest. He was wearing the brown suede jacket he had been wearing to Jyn and Cassian's party, along with blue pants and black shoes.

She settled her hands on her hips. "If by 'good part' you mean: utterly uninteresting, then yes. Lead on."

He didn't move, but his face changed, narrowing his eyes and setting his jaw. "You know, I liked you better with a headache."

"Yeah, I bet women get them frequently around you."

Han shook his head and lead her to the far row. He gestured to the rest of the cars, and pointed out the flaws of them. Leia wasn't paying attention, only looking ahead to where it looked like he was taking her. There was a man sitting on the hood of an old, beautiful blue and white car. The sight of which seemed to make Han stop in his tracks.

"Sonuva-" he cried. "Calrissian!" He jogged forward and the man stood up straight.

He smiled at Han, and Leia admitted to herself that he looked much more charming than Han did, who's smirk erred on the side of roguish. This man was pure class and charm, and Leia didn't trust him one bit.

"We had a deal, Lando," Han said. "The Falcon is mine fair and square."

"It may be yours as in your possession, but I still don't know about 'fair and square,'" the other man, Lando, said. "I mean, do you really need three cars, Solo?"

"Three?" Leia said, incredulously catching up to Han.

Lando looked at her, and he really looked. Up and down, slowly. She half expected him to check her teeth and ask her to spin around. She crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at him. "Well, hello, you must be Luke's sister, Leia." His voice was a lot more provocative than it had been towards Han. She wondered how he was able to recognize her, but she chalked it up to family resemblance.

"Shove it, Lando. He has at least 10 cars, Leia," Han said, also scowling.

Lando extended his hand and Leia shook it, reluctantly. "I've heard so much about you."

"As I have you," Leia said. "Han tells me you're selling a Tantive IV."

His eyebrows raised in surprise and he smiled. "As a matter of fact I am, you interested?"

"No, I don't need a car." She tried to use her lawyer voice, firm and unquestioning.

"Everyone needs a car, honey. And maybe not the Tantive, it is a little big. But I've got-"

"She said she doesn't want anything," Han said, pretty aggressively.

"Really, Mr. Calrissian-" Leia began

"Lando, please baby," he corrected

"Lando then, I don't need anything, I'm fine, forget I mentioned it." He shrugged and moved on down the line. It was then that Leia noticed something moving at her feet and she looked down to see one of the biggest, shaggiest dogs she had ever seen sniffing shoe. "Well hello there, who are you?" She asked it, scratching the dog behind his ears.

"That's Chewbacca, Chewie, he's my dog," Han said. "And he's supposed to be guarding the Falcons."

"He's doing a great job!" Leia insisted, scratching the dog's back and whispering to him to not listen to Han.

Han rolled his eyes and kept an eye on everyone who might come near his cars.

"So Falcons? Plural." Chewie laid back on the grass on his back and she rubbed his belly.

"Yeah."

"Yesterday, it was singular." Leia looked up from the dog to see Han looking at her. She stood up straight and looked over the two cars in front of her. One was clearly much older—hotrod territory—while the other was very modern, but they looked to be the same size, shape, color, and state of wear to Leia.

Han pointed to the older one. "This one is the '63, that I recently…ahem, acquired from Calrissian in a game of cards-"

Her jaw dropped incredulously. "You bet with you cars? Are you stupid?"

"He's the one who bet his car."

She narrowed her eyes. "Something tells me you're not telling me everything. That you wanted him to, didn't you?"

Han balked a little. "That's not important. This one," he pointed to the newer one. "Is the 2010 Falcon Millennium Edition. Same style, same everything, all new technology."

She nodded, looking up and down the newer car. "May I ask why the Falcon?"

"There was an old Falcon plant in Corellia where I grew up. My dad worked there, so did my grandpa. Hell, one of them might've even made this car." His hands were on his hips, and he seemed to not care about telling her pretty private information about his childhood. Or, at least, Leia took it that way.

"Is that why you left? To get away from the factory?" She tried to sound more serious, curious, and thoughtful. She looked at him when she asked.

He didn't look back at her, setting his jaw. "The factory closed when I was 10. I left because my dad skipped town, my ma passed on, and the Damerons were the foster family I was placed with."

Leia was shocked, she'd had no idea. "Sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No, its alright, we're even now. You're not the only person to ever shed a tear, and don't forget that."

She nodded, allowing a pause in the conversation. She looked back to the cars. "How old were you?"

Han shook his head. "Hell, 15? 16? Geez, maybe even 14."

She generally hated when other people talked too much about their lives and the rough parts about them—a standard she held herself to, only revealing personal information when absolutely necessary. But Han's admission was different. It felt as though he was appealing himself to her, and she wanted to let him know she appreciated it. So when she said: "That's about how old I was when Skywalker came into my life," she told herself that it was tit for tat.

"Yeah, that big case, I heard about that. Never understood all the details, though." Leia wasn't sure if that was a hint, but she kept silent. She'd allowed one admittance of trauma slip through the crack in the wall, but she was just as quick to seal it up.

Han pointed at the cars. "Pick one," he told her.

"Huh?" She asked, a little shocked at the subject change.

"Pick one of the Falcons."

She shrugged and pointed to the '63. He seemed to be at a loss for words for a moment before clearing his throat. "When- when are you heading back to the big city?"

Leia did a check in her head. "Two weeks from tomorrow."

Han made a noise. "Plenty of time."

"Plenty of time to do what?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Take you for a ride in the '63." Han talked some about the other race cars, but was interrupted by Leia's phone ringing. It was Luke.

"Leia? Where are you? Aunt Beru is worried sick!" He said. "As am I? Did Han actually take you home last night? If he didn't, I swear-"

She had turned away from Han to talk to Luke. "He did. I'm at the car show behind the Old Temple," Leia said, trying to calm her brother down. "Jyn and Cassian are here too, and Han. You should take Mara up here, it's great, they've got an old X-wing like Uncle Owen's dad had."

Luke was silent for a moment. "Who are you and what have you done with Leia?"

"What's your problem?"

"You're at a car show, the same one your ex-boyfriend and man you were fighting with not 24 hours ago are at. Are you sure you made it home last night?"

"Yes, I'm sure. And you gotta let the past go, Luke. Geez." She felt no shame in throwing her twin's words in his face.

He was silent for a second, probably in rage. "I could kill you right now. Seriously, why are you there?"

"I dunno, Han promised to show me the Falcons, plus what else am I going to do? I'm not a child."

"I never said you were, just-"

"What Luke?" She was trying not to raise her voice, trying not to start an argument. But Luke could be such a loose canon.

"This is out of character for you, is all I'm saying."

"Blame Mara, she's the one who told me to be nice."

"That's out of character for Mara as well."

Leia chuckled. Luke said he might come over and Leia passed that on to Han.

"He's wondering why you came," Han said, and Leia nodded.

"I'm not sure why I did myself, to be honest."

He leaned against the hood of the Millennium. "I'm telling you, its the allure of the Falcon, you just couldn't stay away when you knew it was going to be here."

Leia eyed him and the two cars. "No, that's not it," she said with a smirk.

"Excuse me young man, miss," an older man interjected, causing them to turn towards him. "Sorry for interrupting, is that a '63 Falcon."

Leia groaned and Han smiled, leaning against the hood of the Millennium. "You have a good eye and impeccable taste sir, indeed it is a '63, and this is the 2010 Millennium Edition."

Leia walked away before the circle-jerk fest could really get underway, and she made her way over to the motorcycles. Lando followed her and offered to get her one of her own, which she politely decline and not so politely told him to get lost. He seemed impressed at her attitude, but she tried to ignore him. She ran into a friend from college, Enfys Nest, whose mother taught a self-defense classes Leia had taken. They caught up a bit before Han caught up with her again. She was surprised he hadn't just let her go, having already completed his goal of showing her his cars. He greeted Enfys as if he knew her, and Leia raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know each other?" She asked

"I get around, sweetheart." Han had set his hands on his hips and smirked at her.

"He's being modest. Han has helped us out many times, from helping finding goods to be donated to even just letting us stay at his place. We owe him a lot." She knew Enfys was telling the impartial truth because that's who Enfys was. She would only lie by omission, never overtly.

He shrugged. "Should keep you around more often to sing my praises, seeing as my looks are good enough for some people." His comment was so obviously directed at Leia, but she ignored it.

The lunch table was about to open and Leia said goodbye to Enfys to get in line. Han followed her, and Leia commented on him leaving the Falcons alone.

"Chewie can handle it." She scoffed, but couldn't do much to stop him from following her. Or, at least, she told herself there wasn't much he could do.

They got their lunch provided by the volunteers which consisted of a slightly burnt hotdog with macaroni salad and potato chips. Han was nice of enough to pay for both of theirs, saying something about she shouldn't have to pay because he invited her. Leia took it as insurance that she would eat with him. She followed him back to the Falcons, where he pulled two folding chairs out and set them up.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say this was a date," Leia said as she sat down.

Han paused for a moment before sitting down. "Well, what does that mean? Who's saying its not?"

Leia shrugged. "Well, no one is saying it is either. Besides, I didn't think I was your type."

"Oh, and what is my type, princess?"

"I dunno, 'easy' is the impression I've gotten."

Han scoffed. "Well, if this were a date, you'd be insulting yourself, sister. Lucky for you, I have better things to do."

Leia laughed a little, hurt somewhat. "Well, then I guess I'll leave, let whomever you have better to take this seat." She got up to leave, calling his bluff.

"That's a fine way to repay me for lunch." His tone was pure sarcasm, and she took it as him calling hers.

She turned back to him. "Do you want me to stay?"

Han shrugged. "You can do whatever you want."

"I want to sit with you for lunch, if you'll have me."

He shrugged again. "I already set up the chair for you."

"What about all the other women clamoring for your time?"

"Well, I guess they'll have to get over it at least for this meal." That was the closest she was going to get to him admitting he wanted her to stay, so she took it.

She took her coat off and laid it over the chair before sitting back down, smirking. They were silent as they ate, glancing at each other out of the corner's of their eyes. They discussed their jobs. Han spoke about his winnings and sponsorships. Leia told him about her job and all the paperwork she had to do.

"See, that's where you went wrong, princess," he said, slouching in his chair.

"What, with the paperwork?"

"Sitting in an office, taking a lunch break." He said them flippantly, as if they were crimes to her soul and not parts of her routine. The same routine that ensured she would wake up the next day.

"As opposed to what? You?" What did Han do on a daily basis? Wake up at noon, work on his car? To Leia, this supposed life seemed shiftless and devoid of meaning.

"I'm free, sister." His smile wasn't the self-righteous one he always wore, but the one of a man who'd found his calling in life.

Leia scoffed. "Call me back when you're 50."

"It's a date." That smile (the smile) was back and Leia felt her face turn hot.

They were soon joined by Luke and Mara. Luke was in awe of the '63 and begged Han to let him drive it after the wedding.

"Forget it, kid. You're lucky I'm letting you get this close." He accepted Leia's empty paper plate from her hand—even though she hadn't offered it to him—stacking it on his own.

"I'd wouldn't want to get in that thing anyway." Mara stared at the car, shaking her head. "Looks like a death trap."

Leia bit back a laugh as Han sat forward. "Well you're definitely not getting in it, sister."

"Leia, don't you agree. It looks like the door would fall off and crush you just trying to get in."

"Don't bring me into this, Mara." Leia tried not to make eye contact with her, preferring to look at her chair.

"Figures you would side with him, you two have been thick as thieves since we got to Jabba's."

"Well, you two are over there, coupling—pardon the term—and what am I going to do? Milk the horses for Uncle Owen?" Leia shrugged. "This is my vacation, and I've always liked car shows. Mom and Dad used to take me all the time. Nearly every weekend for one year, I think."

Mara was intrigued, asking about what they did, what they saw. Leia spoke in length about the different cars and models and shows. For the first time in a long time, she didn't feel like she was hurting anyone. Whenever she referred to the Organas as her parents, she almost always felt as though she were alienating Luke, or Skywalker. And what with the latter's death so recent, the pain and bitterness of the last ten years had come back to her. That day, that moment, she felt at home, for the first time in a long time. She felt like she was surrounded by people who cared about her, almost like a family.

Around 5, everyone started to pack up and go home, but the group wasn't ready to call it a night. They resolved to go to Mara and Luke's house, and invited Cassian and Jyn whenever they were done packing up for the night.

"Need a ride?" Han asked, leaning on the '63 in what he probably thought was an inviting manner.

Leia laughed. "I've got my car here, thanks though. I'll see you there." She scratched her head awkwardly and looked down. "Thanks for inviting me to this, I had a lot of fun today. More fun than I've had in a while."

"Don't mention it, sweetheart. Anytime." He turned to get into the '63.

"Don't think you're getting off easy, you still promised me that ride." Leia reminded him.

He looked over his shoulder. His smirk was back. "Yes, ma'am."