#I rlly don’t like how this turned out but. I needed to post art of this ep
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Yeowch
#I rlly don’t like how this turned out but. I needed to post art of this ep#dndads#dungeons and daddies#art#dungeons and daddies fanart#dndads fanart#artists on tumblr#artwork#doodle#dndaddies#dndads season 2#dungeonsanddaddies#oakworthy#dndads hermie#hermie the unworthy#hermie unworthy#normal oak#dndads normal#normally oak swallows garcia#also since u cant rlly tell hermie has his tail wrapped around normals ankle
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
blows everything up w my mind i hate school i hate careers i just wanna draw pictures and play sudoku
#idk if i’ve said this before but basically my current college experience was like fuck around and get all ur basic classes oever w and#try out different intro classes for different majors and then like. literally last summer i just decided to choose psychology and god do#i wish i didn’t do that. like i kinda chose it bc of how much i liked my intro psych classes and bc of how fast i’d be able to get it#compared to like other degrees but like. what if i actually hate everything and everyone that has to do w psychology#like i mean it’s not like i’m ever gonna go into counseling so like. my only option for this degree path is like post grad shit and even#then what can i even do w this. fucking. work for a school? do experiments? write papers?is that even what i want idfk#like honestly this degree feels so fucking useless i probably would’ve been the same amount of feeling fucked but like slightly#more happy abt it if i decided to be an art major#ugh i fucking hate school like u’d think w how everything played out for me that i’d feel accomplished or smth bc like i just turned 20 and#im set to get my dumbass bachelors like. in a couple weeks but i feel like a failure i have 0 plans i hate every decision i have ever made.#but also like idk if i even have like the energy for more school. or the patience or the motivation or whatever. like even if i go for that#sexology program that’s online it’s still only a masters and im probably gonna need a doctorate if i decide to commit to this shit and#like idk if i have the energy for all that shit. or if i even care enough to do all that. but also i don’t rlly have any other better#options do i? fucking. i don’t know what to do. explodes everything w my mind 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
i would adore ur ted ideas he is so interesting 2 me!!!!!!
ask and you shall receive!!!!
ted. teddigan. theodoreigan my boy. i have so many mixed feelings about u💔
this drawing was a pain in the ASS to make for some reason?? my first go at him was way too close to canon for my liking so i threw myself out there n got to a place i liked thankfully, plus halfway through i forgot how to draw hands and almost cried (joking) cause i thought i had them down at this point!!!!— but trust me, even if you have 9 years of art experience (like me unfortunately. someone take me out i’ve had a good life) ur gonna forget the basics sometimes. warm yourself up and try again cause i did and i eventually remembered 😭😭😭
doing these character studies and drawings have seriously improved my way and process of drawing faces which is so nice 🥲 i think i just need to start looking at the bigger picture again so i don’t forget how to draw everything else. like hands. or full bodies. foreshadowing ;)
i wanted my ted to look just a wee bit unsettling because my general consensus of him is that he is totally fucked in the head, lmfao. born a nepotism baby who ended up scamming people more for fun than for actual cash, horribly sexist but dependent on women to validate him, paranoid as all get out, selfish and self centered as all get out, just his canon personality’s all in one and turned up a notch. 🥲
i don’t think he’s totally beyond redemption, especially because he’s been cooped up with ellen, who is a highly decorated in the engineering field black woman, benny who’s gay and gorr “FREEDOM FIGHTIN’ LIBERAL🇺���🦅🦅🔥🔥” ister for 109 years. in that time he’s definitely slipped up and they’ve definitely corrected him (along with nimdok too LOL). i think with some intensive therapy, a shower and a trip to the tolerance museum (south park reference) he’ll be a little better.
i’m a mild ted/AM shipper (as seen in the bottom right hand corner) but more in the “ooohehheh they’re flirting!!… oh no. oh this is not going to end well. this is definitely a toxic relationship” way and less the “awh cute maybe they can have mutual redemption arcs!!!” way because i love seeing gay men suffer romantically (don’t cancel me i am a bisexual man suffering romantically i swear😭)
i’m not too partial to any other ships honestly, ted/ellen makes me nauseous (just cause of the way ted talks about/treats her in the franchise, no hate to my tellen shippers i promise) and i can only see gorrister with his wife 🥲 with benny and nimdok i have no clue if either of them rlly have romantic interests but im not a fan of them with anybody so erm… i do love the whole groups found family vibes though :”””] they’re all cute together and the mutual suffering but all the while growth is comforting to me
i think that’s about all my thoughts!!! another thank you for the support on this blog recently i love yall sm. i’ll eventually post on my transformers blog but i am STILL SCARED because robots are hard to draw. stay tuned for it though. 💀
thank you for reading if you did!!! let me know which of the guys yall want me to do next; benny, AM and nimdok are left on the chopping block. ❤️
#ted ihnmaims#ihnmaims#IHNMAIMS fanart#technically these guys are in here so i’ll tag them too#gorrister ihnmaims#nimdok ihnmaims#benny ihnmaims#ellen ihnmaims#am ihnmaims#digital art
79 notes
·
View notes
Text
need u on my skin like closure, baby | shuri udaku.
ƸӜƷ
pairing — college!shuri x college!y/n
trope — exes 2 friends 2 lovers
inspo — anya mmiri by ckay ft. pinkpantheress
warnings — fingering (reader receiving), dom!shuri, humiliation kink, erm dumbification (listen..), possessive!shuri, protective!shuri, shuri is touchy, kissing, overstimulation, its long my bad, reader is easily embarrassed, tensionnn, shuris mean n condescending but so in love, reader is bratty for like two seconds, jealous!shuri, dacryphilia, dirty talk, degradation but like its like praise coded, praise, reader gets rlly subby (poor baby) but not crazily so like subspace, i think that's it but i honestly don't know.
a/n — i wrote this pretty quickly actually n was initially gonna post for valentines but bc i'm drowning in ideas rn it doesnt rlly matter so, i hope u enjoy it ! girl i won't lie writing this had me a bit breathy LMFAO so if there r any errors that's my bad but u know why. im a miniskirt kinda gal so this is what i imagine reader wearing to the party while this is what i imagine shuri in (4th)— u can obvi imagine what u want.
⟢˚ @mbakuetshurisprincess @inmyheadimobsessed @letitias-fav @barkbarkbo @saintwrld
ஜ
confusion, confusion, it's life, and illusion. you’re with me right now, next thing you're gone. but i need you on my skin closure, like closure, baby.
the music blasts through your ears, the steady vibrations stimulating you sufficiently, working well in keeping you from getting distracted from the current art piece you worked on. the world around you seemed muted as the tones of green, brown, and orange danced across your canvas, the oil paint was firm but still allowed room for error, encouraging it even – your favourite medium for that reason.
a slow succession of knocks sound under the thump of your music, the door to your studio opening and closing with two soft clicks, the person not making themselves known to you. though, a smile creeps on your lips – having recognised the knocking pattern, “by now you should know that creeping up on me after you’ve knocked is futile, right?” your hand reaching towards your stereo to lower the piercing volume.
you place your palette on the covered table to your side, the dirty paintbrush following suit as you stand to turn to face her, your arms lift into a stretch then fall to fix the unruly bun of the lace on your head as you finally set your gaze on her. she’s standing in the doorway, her hands buried in the pockets of her baggy black sweatpants, a matching oversized black hoodie sitting on her torso, the accents of dark purple shifting as she lifts her hands into surrender, and there’s mischief dancing in her eyes.
“i will never understand how you do that when i quite literally have the stealth of a panther.”
she’s smiling at you as she speaks, her voice is playful and light as you begin to pack up your belongings, “i don’t know, your majesty. maybe, just maybe, the deadly black panther has met her match.” you’re giggling as you say it, unaware of the inner turmoil you’ve thrown shuri in to.
the air quietens down as you raise your eyes to look at her, your sweep of the room to make sure it’s presentable for your arrival tomorrow complete, and you seem to realise what has transpired, what you insinuated. shuri’s gazing at you with a deep but unreadable expression, one that has you averting your eyes over an awkward chuckle as you walk towards her.
“that, she has.” her voice is deep, and serious, as it slithers up your body, wafting with your intake of breath to settle in the depths of your lungs. her words carry a depth you’re familiar with, or at least, were familiar with, one that spoke of her devotion to you, her love and respect for you, her desires and promises to make you, her queen.
you clear your throat before moving around her tall frame to step out of the small, now tense, space. your heart flutters as she quickly reaches out to open the door for you, her cologne permeating your psyche as it washes over you – jasmine and warm musk on top of cedar and bourbon vanilla, all wrapped within the sensual flamboyancy of roses.
you walk to the elevator and step into the space, the music is soothing as you sigh out and drop your head side to side in a stretch, you had been sat unmoving for a long period of time, “i always tell you to take stretching breaks to ease the strain on your body.” shuri’s voice is teasing but you can hear the firmness floating through the crevices of it. your eyes reach to look up at her, your lips parting on a snarky remark, but the ding of a stop on another floor has you pausing; then there are two things happening simultaneously.
firstly, a group of college boys is stepping into the small space and, secondly, shuri’s reaching both her hands to rest firmly on the skin of either of your shoulders, slightly pressing against you to shift your body away from the rowdy boys, guiding you to face slightly away from them, as she steps forward to press against you, giving the one that was nearest to you a curt but taunting smile, as if she’s daring them to touch you.
the action is so swift and so instinctive that it’s over before you even get to blink twice, but it wakes up your aching body, provoking it into calling out for her. you feel its call in the warmth pulsing through you, the sweep of your stomach, and the racing of your heart. her head dips to where her soft curls skim the skin of your collarbone, her nose barely brushing against the arch of your neck, and your head is tilting slightly for her, your body reacts before your mind can process, clearly yearning for her closeness.
“what were you saying, s’thandwa?”
she breathes the words into your skin, her hands squeezing your shoulders before they’re slipping down your arms and coming to rest on the heated skin of your waist, pulling you into her so her chest presses against the length of your back; and you’re embarrassed. you can feel the rapid glances of the others beside you, though their conversation never ceases, and you know that shuri’s doing this on purpose. she knows that no matter how much you deny it, your body vibrates with the idea of her possessing you like this, owning you where there’s nothing to shield the clench of your thighs from prying eyes; she knows you bask in the humiliation of it.
you shake your head to clear your thoughts, “it’s fine, it wasn’t important.” you almost flinch when you hear how breathy your voice sounds, the heat rising to your face but moving to settle in the pit of your stomach. shuri’s chuckle is taunting as she breathes you in, her head dropping slightly and you can feel her lips curling as she skims a phantom kiss on your sweet skin, and you swear when your head clears, you’re going to kill shuri udaku.
the doors ring open to the ground floor and shuri guides your body out, no longer pressed against you as she takes to wrapping her arm around your shoulder and your head finally clears. “you are such a fucking ass, actually,” her boisterous laugh is cutting you off as she turns to look down at you, amusement dancing in her eyes.
“looking out for you is being an ass, my love?” she teases. your eyes roll as you throw her arm off of you, her laugh only intensifying as she brings her hands to clap obnoxiously. the muscles of your heart seize as you regard her, you love her so much, why’d she have to confuse you like this?
“shut the fuck up, i’ll see you tonight.” you try to look annoyed, but a series of giggles are escaping you as you walk away, your apartment only a block away. you’re adjusting the bag on your shoulder when shuri’s voice rings out in agreement, her laugh quelling as she watches you go, a sigh taking its place as the longing grips her once again.
⤠
you roll your lips to spread your lipgloss and reach to put the tube in the black bag you decided to carry tonight, rocking your hips to the beat of baby boy reverbarating through the walls of your apartment as you deem yourself ready. you spin your back to the mirror, your eyes sliding to gaze over your shoulder as you give yourself a once over, the length of your skirt was daring, provocative, just how you liked it.
the knocking at your door has you grabbing your bag and ruffling out your hair, allowing the bangs to frame your face cheekily because you know shuri likes it when you look a little bit of a mess for her, not that you wanted to look good for her or anything along those lines. the door swings open, your previous smile dropping as you lay your eyes on her, sweeping your gaze down her lithe frame as your glossy lips part, she needed you bad; shuri’s doing the same, her tongue coming out to lick her lips as her dark eyes burn into the skin of your legs, she had always been a leg girl.
your eyes snap up at the clearing of her throat, and she’s smirking at you before leaning into your space, her arms wrapping slowly around your waist, pressing you against her firmly as she brings her lips to your ear, “bast, you’re killing me, baby.”
the words end with a grunt as she slips one of her hands down your hips to play with the hem of your skirt, “this fucking skirt, you’re a little slut for attention, hm.” her voice is soft and cooing like she’s praising you, and her fingers grazing the skin of your thigh paired with the tenderness of her tone coaxes you into accepting the praise.
you let out a low whimper, the heat of your core bringing you to clench your thighs slightly, shuri chuckles condescendingly before pulling away, lifting your hand to her lips to graze your knuckles before she’s pulling you away, guiding you to her car. the ride is a short but electrified one, god what kind of exes slash friends were you?
the party is in full blast by the time you two arrive, music blasting through the house and flowing into both the back and front yards, you could feel the vibrations settle in the marrow of your bones as you make your way inside, still being guided by shuri. she moves through the crowd just like a panther; gracefully, instinctively, moving with the aura of the apex predator she was, she greets people as she enters the kitchen, using the grip on your hand to seat you on an empty barstool before she starts to prepare some drinks for you.
you’re joined by some of your friends, and soon you’re laughing, enjoying the party and the sweet drink shuri had prepared for you, before you feel like dancing. you hold one of your friend’s hands as you go to dance, letting go of the overbearing stress you carried, letting the music caress the heat of your skin. you feel her eyes watching you, feel them heavily sliding down the length of your moving body and it exhilarates you. you open your eyes and just as you meet her gaze, a body presses itself against you, much like she had earlier, and her gaze is darkening.
the intensity of it shocks you but lulls the bratty side of you forward, calling you to make her move, make her claim you again. the thought excites you enough to bring your hand to guide the strangers to rest on the material covering your ribs, your lips twitching in amusement when you see her eyes drop to sneer at the touch.
that’s it, come to me. the vixen in you is cunning, luring her lover to her with tactics she knows shuri will concur to, tactics she knows will break the regal patience of the queen.
but shuri simply raises a manicured brow, her lips lifting into a smirk as she sweeps her eyes over your frame and she’s leaning forward against the marble countertops before tilting her head at you. you know that look, and so does your body, seeing as it instinctively clenches with a fire so deep it licks at the jagged edges of your ribs, sinking into the space between your legs.
she barely lifts her hand, her fingers moving to call you to her and you’re moving without thinking, like a prey to its predator, and you’re soothed by a false sense of security when she allows you to place your hand in hers so she can gently pull you towards her and whisper directly into your ear, “i don’t know who made you think you run shit, s’thandwa, but i know you need me to fix that for you, right?”
the shiver that wrecks through your body is instant and you’re nodding before you can comprehend, your breath hitching when you feel her pull you through the crowd, you were in for it. the lock of the bathroom door barely clicks before one of shuri’s hands grabs both of your wrists to press against the wood while the other pushes your hips against the surface.
there’s a pause, “i need to hear you to tell me you want this baby, that you want me.” her voice is strained like she’s holding back.
“please, please, shuri, i need it, need you, always.”
the whine barely escapes you before she’s letting out a tortured groan and pressing against you, her hand sliding down your hip, roughly pushing the hem of your skirt up, and pressing over the front of your damp underwear. your hips stutter as she presses against your clit, your lips parting as you moan out, hearing her groan into the curve of your neck, her lips pressing heated kisses along the length of it, “barely touched you and you’re this wet for me, baby? my pretty pussy’s crying for me, isn’t she?”
her voice is pulling you into the state only she can pull you into, where your mind is only occupied with her, and it’s hard to think, to breathe, to exist beyond her. her fingers trace slow circles over your underwear, your hips swirling to match the movements, and she’s laughing at you. lifting her lips to slide over your cheekbone and press against your temple as she increases the pace of her fingers.
“my desperate fucking girl. you want to come in these pretty lace panties?”
your hips buck wildly as you gasp, your head spinning as you whimper out her name, over and over again, a series of pleads falling from your lips. the way she’s talking to you with that lilt in her voice like you were just a girl to be scolded, a girl to be humiliated until you learned, learned what being hers meant. she’s speaking words to you, wanting you to gaze into those eyes while she touches what’s hers.
you feel the wave cresting, your stomach clenching as you practically squeal out her name, your hips gyrating frantically in time with her hand, your hands are clenching, your arms still held above your head, wanting to grab something to ground you, wanting to touch her to ground you. she coos at you, murmuring about her, “pretty sweet thing coming so good for her.”
your heart rate doesn’t get the chance to slow as you feel her hand slip into your now-soaked, underwear, your hips bucking violently as she grazes her slender fingers across your sensitive clit, and your eyes are widening as you lift your gaze to find hers already on you, “had enough, angel? i don’t think you have.” her voice is taunting, her eyes holding a fire that burns your insides.
your mouth drops open, your gaze unable to move from hers as she slides her fingers to your entrance circling around the opening as she groans deep in her throat, “bast, you were made for me, my love, made to take me?” her finger slips in slightly as she curls her tongue around ‘take’ and you’re chasing her fingers, she’s being so mean.
you tense as she finally slips her finger into the warmth of your walls, a satisfying moan slips from your mouth as she begins to gently thrust in and out of you, her fingers dragging against you, just the way she knows you love. she’s smirking against your cheek as you unabashedly moan out repeatedly, thumb coming to circle your clit as you shut your eyes. the tears are gathering on your lashes as you’re whimpering out.
“there’s my pretty baby’s tears.” her voice is dark, menacingly dragging out the words. “couldn’t have my pretty pussy crying by herself tonight, hm.” the words render you dumb before her fingers glide firmly against that rough patch inside you and you’re clenching so hard that it drags her fingers deeper into you, your legs trembling, your body solely held up by shuri’s hold on your wrists. and you still long enough for her to mutter out a ‘that’s it, angel.’ before you’re exploding again.
the tears are clinging to your lashes as you see flashes of colour behind your eyelids, your breath coming out in pants as you stutter your hips to the soothing slow of shuri’s lithe fingers, she’s using the hand holding your wrist to lower your arms to rest around her shoulders, her arms then coming to the back of your thighs to gently lift you on to the sink.
you feel her lift your chin, her lips approaching yours before she pauses, “you’re mine, right. my precious love, hm?” her voice is raspy. you nod eagerly, tightening your arms around her neck, whining for that kiss. she smirks as she leans in, placing her lips against your own softly but with a little desperation, the slide of your lips is a back-and-forth pull of your love, a love song duet, a devotion of walking into what will be.
the panther’s sly hands skim up your still quivering thighs fiddling with the band of your underwear, pausing, before she’s ripping them off. the gasp you release into her mouth is sharp but as you go to pull away, she doesn’t let you, her mouth slipping against yours felt like an addiction. both her hands slip along your inner thigh making their way to your dripping cunt.
her lips separate from yours when the tips of her fingers graze your folds and you thrash so wildly, she has to reach a hand to your hip to still you, a grunt slipping passed her mouth at the action, you were so sensitive, it made her feral. her eyes lift to your shut ones as she glides her fingers over your clit, your head frantically shaking, “you don’t want more, my love?”
her voice wisps through the clouds in your mind, “c-cant…please” you force out pathetically on a whimper, her fingers circling your clenching entrance, “i know, baby, i know.” she’s speaking gently to you, lovingly, “but you’re mine, yes? mine to love, mine to make come as i please? isn’t that right, honey?” and you’re nodding frantically.
“then i want you to get off on my thigh like the desperate girl you are, sweetheart.”
her voice is the only thing you can fathom, and it has you craving for more, inviting her into you and it almost makes shuri preen – you’re so open to her, settling into her embrace as if you trusted her more than yourself, it makes her soaking pussy clench tight around nothing, in a way only you could make her. her thigh presses between your legs and your muscles tremble around the strong muscle, her hand slips around your throat, squeezing gently as she guides your eyes to hers, and she gazes at you so deeply, it makes you squirm.
shuri’s watching you struggle against her thigh, her lips lifting into a condescending smirk that forces you to shut your eyes and let out a lengthy, needy whine before she uses her free hand to grip your waist and harshly slide you against her.
“dumb baby needs me to do everything for her?”
the moans you’re sobbing out sharply slice through the air, and you feel filthy, crying out for her while she drags you against her thigh like a desperate slut. you’re hiccupping on your tears as she continues to coo at you, walking you to your demise and you can feel it, your heartbeat pulsing through your desperate clenching walls.
her head is nodding along with yours, your eyes unable to separate from hers, and she’s groaning along to your cries, asking if you want it enough if you’re desperate enough for her. she leans in to press a tender peck to your lips that you can’t reciprocate, “that’s it, my angel, give me that come.”
then your body is convulsing so violently, shuri has to press the length of her body against you to prevent you from slipping off of the sink she has you sat on, her head sinking to your neck to shower you in praises and remind you how good you were for her, how much she loves you, how pretty you are when you cry for her. your tears are hot on your cheeks as you soak her thigh, and you’re heaving as your eyelashes cling to one another, the mascara smeared along your waterline - you looked ruined.
shuri regards you with a tenderness that sends you spiralling, she reaches her hand to brush along your wet cheeks before following the trail with her warm lips, exhaling her love into your skin, reminding you how much her heart belonged to you too. her lips meet yours in a soft press and she sighs as she pulls you against her body to ground herself.
she could feel her heart clench with the force of her love for you, she was never going to let you go again.
how could i forget you? when you build house for my mind? and you no go, go outside and you no go, go. i miss me and you. but all i have is memories of you. but that just wont do tonight.
ஜ
#pinkwrighting ⊹ ۪ ᖭི༏ᖫྀ.#shuri x black!reader#shuri udaku#letitia wright#black panther#shuri x reader#black panther wakanda forever#shuri angst#shuri smut#shuri fluff#shuri imagine#shuri x you
591 notes
·
View notes
Text
“This, is a soul stone.”
“A…soul stone?”
“Yes. Once a soul leaves its physical form they create a soul stone to keep their…ghost-like form intact. This soul stone is surrounded by the actual projection of ourselves, similar to how a heart is encased inside the body. It cannot be taken out easily. In fact, the only ones who can remove anyones soul stone from their physical projection is the First spinjitzu master, Sensei Wu, Sensei Garmadon, and the consciousnesses of the two realms of the dead. Other then them, not even the person whose soul stone it is can remove it from it’s home, and its no easy task for the ones who can either.”
“…If all of that is true, then how are we both looking at your soul stone?”
“….Unfortunately, my soul stone had faced extreme abuse years ago, leaving it fractured and….weak.”
“Is that why it has pieces floating around it? It looks almost like a planet, surrounded by its moons…”
“An interesting comparison.”
“Ahm…that’s besides the point. Why are you showing me this? If its so delicate that it can almost never be removed from its home, then why would it help us in our mission?”
“…the merge, has shown to create unique consequences over the years. One of such, being the slow return of the Preeminent.”
“What.”
“I can’t explain in too much depth to what had happened, we don’t nearly have that much time and I need to use it sparingly.”
“What are you talking about?!-”
“A soul stone is indeed delicate, Lloyd. So delicate, so precious, that the very existence of a soul relies on it.”
“The..what?..”
“If my soul stone gets into the wrong hands, if it faces too much harm, I will no longer be able to keep it connected and in ‘one piece’ as I have so far. I will be erased from existence, and so will all the knowledge I have so painstakingly collected.”
“…Where are you planning to go, Morro?”
“…A place I should’ve visited years ago.”
——————
Will there be a fanfic of this? Probably not, since i can’t stick to finishing stories.
Anyways, take Morro from an AU i created in my head, theres no other content of it other then half completed stories in my notes/word documents and this post.
If anyone rlly wants me to, i can go more into depth of this AU and give it a name. But for now, all you need to know is that its mainly canon compliant, just with a few changes to the story of Morro and then the actual canon divergence starts during the merge. Some things before that will also be changed to fit ideas i have and things i like, such as the issue with Lloyds age.
Oh, alsooo! Morro in this drawing is still a ghost, but in this AU to differentiate departed ghosts from cursed, cursed ghosts look like how they did in the show and Morro’s og design, but departed ghosts tend to look more like how they did when they were alive (with some differences and yknow, being see- through)
So Morro in this looks like how his Departed ghost form would in this AU
I also realised that the gi itself looks a lot like Cole’s because of the black and orange. Pretend the orange is grey/green/yellow, pls and thank you.
AND MY FAVOURITE LITTLE DETAIL. Look at Morro’s gi and how its folded, see what i did there??
I had fun drawing this with another newly acquired art style, this is also one of my first few times drawing Morro and being happy with it. Turns out i am very picky when drawing characters i like over literally anything else.
#morro ninjago#lego ninjago#morro wu#lego emo#green#ninjago morro#lloyd ninjago#ninjago fanart#green ninja#ninjago au#asrikal art
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
🍙 for @satorisoup from my fruits basket :3
Long Post. but i (Rlly) summarized the questions for viewing ease 🫡
1) life & school
i Am nervous about school hbdfhbg i’m a sociology major!! ^^ love soc but i switched to honours so i have to keep my gpa up, and most of my classes this year are really reading/writing/presentation heavy.. plus i'm trying a full course load for the first time so doing my thesis next yr will be easier, but i'm already easily stressed and burnt out.. lol.. ;; it's probably fine though
life’s getting busy.. and i’m not sure my cosplay will get here in time for my con but it’s ok tbh! the good outweighs the bad for those things. i wish i had money for the con outside my grants/loans but LOL that's life
2) celebrating my birthday with keiji :3
tmi maybe. i haven’t had a great birthday since i was 15/16 to be honest FBHBDJ i'm so burnt out and depressed in dec that the past few years i haven’t done anything at all LOL but hearing this,, keiji makes it his mission to give me a good one ^^ !
he takes the day off and makes sure the day is just for us! practices making heart shaped pancakes and cooks breakfast.. i walk in on him in the kitchen super focused and accidentally scare him LOL he wanted it to be a surprise but it’s ok!! i watch and talk while i wait
it’s usually cold so i don't go anywhere ;; but we still have fun!! it’s nothing crazy,, we just talk, put on a show while we work on a puzzle or bake… play some co-op games.. order dinner.. yeagh
if it isn’t awful outside, we might make a little snowman or snow angels at the park nearby :]
he gets birthday gifts separate from his christmas ones.. since they're so close my birthday’s kinda overshadowed & i tell people to get one gift or none but keiji refuses!! he writes a long heartfelt letter, commissions art of us & our cat, and buys custom matching necklaces + little crochet accessories + ribbon 🙂↕️ (also macarons. i rock w macarons.)
3) favourite aki scene :3
his morning routine changed my life. they didn’t have to do that (not in the manga) but they did… my beautiful domestic soft morning dreams… it’s so Aki… and then i think about how he’d include u in his routine when ur together the way he does with denji and power… ouh..
4) art app + ur new stylus :0
looks down and kicks rocks. krita user over here. not that anything’s wrong with krita. i just feel lame when i see brushes i want because of course they’re never for krita. but it’s cool! how's ur new pen!! bro sometimes krita’s pressure sensitivity doesn’t work on start-up and i didn’t realize i could just restart the window settings . i kept reinstalling it. it’s fine but Wow i was miserable for so long (Months. like a stupid poopoo head)
5) Secret Art Opinions.
olivia wilde nodding gif. smoking duck gif. no one knows what i know no one’s seen what i’ve seen. BEAUTIFUL!! PERF!! i love his smile and jewelry (🤯) and hair and EVERYTHING!! your art style is SOO lovely cutieful lene!! and a 17 layer max seems nonsensical?! HELP.. how big is your canvas.. what app are you using bc isn't there ones made for what u want to try.. I believe in U!! no matter what i’m sure it will turn out awesome!!! he would be so flattered. his lips would wobble and he'd gasp/whine and hug and kiss u like WHAT!! FOR HIM..?..!!! yeah.
6) akaashi and i’s song :00
wanna say i will by mitski but that’s gonna be in every self-ship playlist of mine. maybe home by reese lansangan.. hesitate to say it’s Our Song but it’s a good one!!
My bones are safe / And my heart can rest / Knowing it belongs to you / My world is changed / And it's cradled by / The comfort that is you
7) monster lover post + ones i like
i wish i had good specific hear me out's but i don’t consume a lot of media with them so the ones i can think of are super basic and boring… i’d need a list in front of me so i could smash or pass. (if u have any in mind let me kneow.) but
the teacher from the girl from the other side. Like it’s my fault. doting adoptive self-sacrificial father figure DON’T TALK TO ME. also i must mention tokoyami. + shirou from BNA if he counts
tai lung from kung fu panda just once. the plague doctor (scp-049) obviously
probably some transformers. i like bumblebee 🩷 THE PACIFIC RIM JAEGERS . gipsy danger of course. striker eureka of course. gipsy avenger & november ajax & valor omega (Sorry.). azure defiant omgg PILIPPINS! 🇵🇭🇵🇭
i can usually get behind a “hear me out” if it isn’t like.. super slimey(?) or spikey. they could all hurt me but anything Very sharp/spikey i’m like nooo owwww ouchie nooo..
8) JJK since hell started on earth (+ lenoso!)
I Have been keeping up. unfortunate for my happiness. but Dear God. finding that out two hours after a comm and on FORTNITE is CRAZY? I’m so sorry. I get it. there’s like 3 vids and 6 pics of me crying. …did u at least win the fortnite match. i thank god every day my main thing is HQ because i just watch guys play volleyball. the manga.. a bit exciting.. hoping for an Ok outcome… maybe if gege has love and megan thee stallion in his heart
9) demon slayer opinions (+ genya specifically)
i watched the first season of kny but dropped it after hebfhsbjb nothing against it, just not rlly my cup of tea!! but i know quite a few deaths and the manga ending.. i don’t have a fave demon though.. i liked tanjiro + giyuu + sabito (predictable x3). also fond of rengoku (predictable) and mitsuri/obanai (predictable). Is akaza awesome and beautiful. i don't rlly know genya but i’ve seen him and his brother!! I will like him In Ur honour!!! ur friend reporting u for an edit is crazyehsbfjhb STAY STRONG… GENYA! i’m sure he’s fantastic!!
10) bnha + izuku thoughts!
Who’s calling izuku ugly. ☹️ i get u btw Like it’s my fault i’m always fond of the main characters and want the best for them. i don’t usually read stuff for him bUT i fr see the appeal, and he can be soo super interesting/fun to write and read about!! AND HE’S NOT UGLY!! ☹️ he’s very cutieful handsome. grown up deku… vivid and beautiful in my mind…
11) favourite food, drink, etc. :3
rice . LOL i don’t think i have a favourite food but i love pinoy chicken dishes! my mom's adobo + caldereta + niligang manok. also been eating chorizo de cebu lately.. yummay..
sweet drinks.. frappes & taro boba… i need to expand my palette but y'know. and my fav soda is crush
i said this but i Love Macarons. you give me a plate of macarons i’m inhaling that shit like kirby. also sapin sapin and cheesecake! a great cake in general is so yummayyy
big hazelnut creme chocolate fan. I Love hazelnut chocolate. started when i was a child with kinder eggs and purdys chocolate hedgehogs and here i am
fav cereal is kellogg's krave. obvious chocolate fan here
SUSHI VIBES IS SO INTERESTING i’m pretty sure i’ve never had a piece. like ever. i do like fish… do u have any fave sushi.. i doubt i’ll be trying any soon but for future reference!!
12) anything and everything else ^_^ (mammon + mlp ment.)
Lene i have stuff to talk about at all times and will overshare every time
YAGH! mammon is the avatar of greed and 2nd eldest brother of 7 in Obey Me: One Master To Rule Them All. i actually didn’t like him at first (I’m sorry.) but he grew on me real bad. it’s serious. he's very tsundere which is Not my type but. something happened. He's a softie.. he cares about you and everyone So Much.. he's very empathetic and emotionally intelligent even if he struggles with being vulnerable.. he can generally control his emotions better /gets angry less than his brothers… he gets teased/mistreated a lot.. he loves money and hates working but he loves U even more So Of Course He’d do/give up Anything 4 U.. he's insecure and has called himself worthless on his own Which Devastated Me So Bad i love this guy so much Let’s All Just. oh man.
i Did like MLP. i stopped watching at some point but i want to go back and watch it all.. predictably obsessed with princess cadance and shining armor. I wanted to be her and I wanted him. Predictably. i cried over BBBFF when i was little btw /pos but hm.. my fav show was gravity falls maybe. so good.
we finally fixed what was wrong with the water in the one bathroom in the house that has a bath tub. exciting because i’ve never taken a bath… want to see what it’s like… perhaps use a bath bomb 🤔..
don’t think i’ve processed we’re going to have another person living with us. wow
been thinking about p5 akira a lot. my stupid beautiful loser sopping wet cat idiot handsome prince guy. Do u think 13 year old me would be surprised i still like him or that my bff likes goro or that i ship akeshu. i have 150 ss's from the p5 vn. and when i say he's written like my version of akaashi keiji.. hah......
might deactivate at some point tbh. saying this because i don't think people will read this far so it's like a little secret convo but i feel like i've overstayed my time / don't rlly fit anywhere bshdjsd i'll click delete account and just Stare for a while. like at some point u think about it so much it's like.. girl stop clinging on and just do it. but i don't want to lose my stuff so it won't happen until i put it all somewhere else. which won't be soon because i'm lazy as shit so. that's life i guess. 🤷🏻♀�� def won't until i finish my event.. will see if i can at least make it to my blog anni if not my birthday 🤔 would probably come back at some point anyway. also my users... can't lose 6okuto r u joking...
been rocking with pleasure delayer by between friends & rock-paper-scissors by katzenjammer lately.
broken 3 nails this week and may unfortunately break a 4th. my stupid baka life. might just cut the rest and restart... they were all Even. 1/2 cm long bro.. why does this happen to me...
excited to call and ask about my joke bear plate in a few days. i'm 100% sure i didn't do an even number of coats for everything and it'll look wonky in places, but i think that's part of the appeal. the nia 6okuto joke bear brand
thank u for joining and asking lene!! 🙆🏻♀️🩷🩷 i like 2 talk so do not worry. would u like some q's back.. a similar amount.. less.. more.. let me kneow. meow
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
perfect now - a close reading
only pure and true love for this one. it’s soft and sweet because the one he wrote it for is and needs cheesy uncool romcom soundtrack-worthy affirmations and it’s the most wonderful thing oh my the flurries
some album booklet art for your viewing pleasure
((just a warning for below: while the lyric analysis was kept fairly neutral and close to the words and their meaning, more and more parallels did ensure me larrying out by the time the analysis kicked off so if you’re not into that, you can skip this one!))
⟼ check out @bluewinnerangel ‘s magnificent post with all the parallels to 1d/h&l bc it’s exhaustive and was a source for mine <3 thank you again for your service <3 bc this song really is a fanpiece of every song that has been important to them throughout their career so far, whether they wrote it or not, and it’s honestly kinda impressive
SUMMARY
you’re sad and i love you so much i will do anything to make that undone but while you’re sad know that i sill very much love you and you’re also strong enough to conquer all of this on your own but i’ll be by your side anyway
lyric breakdown ft. the many parallels, incl. little things, through the dark and wmyb
what this says about louis, his partner and the relationship he is in
never gonna dance again frenzy
identity
louis is a marvellous majestic sonofabitch basically <3
walls, track 10
~ little things “you still have to squeeze into your jeans, but you’re perfect to me”
You don’t feel pretty and it’s hard to miss
You don’t feel pretty and it’s hard to miss
later lyric: “like a neon sign” - i see through you trying to hide away your insecurities
I wish that you could see my point of view As someone staring back at you
“you” is also staring at him, but perhaps is too insecure to realise how mutual the adoration is
i wish i could get you out of your own negative spiral and give you a look at yourself from my perspective
~ wmyb “everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you”
~ wmyb “right now i’m looking at you and i can’t believe you don’t know you’re beautiful”
~ little things “you never love yourself half as much as I love you, and you’ll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to. If I let you know, I’m here for you, maybe you’ll love yourself like I love you”
On Friday night when we’re all out I turn to you and you’re looking down And you don’t wanna dance I know you love to dance You never stop given half the chance
heavy echoes of kmm again, but the opposite: the “nightmare on the dance floor” doesn’t want to dance
when “you” is confident rlly not being subtle with who i think that is, they love to dance <-> tpwk “feeling good in my skin, i just keep on dancing”
“i know you love to dance” = i know what you love bc i love you
“given half the chance”
~ tpwk “giving/given second chances”
given a chance tattoo, making another appearance (see below for more tattoo meltdowns)
Just keep your head up, love, keep your head up
term of endearment <3
~ dlibyh
this album is full of encouragement to keep going and as much as it gives me life it ruins me
Don’t hide away, don’t ever change
“be happy, proud”
~ “just hold on”
“pick someone who’s supportive”
Keep your head up, love, keep your head up Don’t look away, don’t look away
don’t look away from me
~ through the dark “and I can see your head is held in shame”
Cause everybody’s looking at you now, my, oh my
they have the stage to themselves / new career paths they’re doing on their own
could also mean ppl they’re going out with are looking at them, which “you” interprets as sth negative, which makes them self-conscious, while they’re actually admiring them bc they steal the scene
~ wmyb “you’re turning heads when you walk through the door”
I guess some queens don’t need a crown And I know why Even when your tears are falling down Still, somehow, you’re perfect now
“you” is royalty to louis, to put it simply
they don’t need something on their head to make it known to everyone else - they’re a queen and everyone knows it
gendered: female - also used in drag contexts - the only time L has used any gendered word to identify his partner on the entire album (more on this below)
~ steal my girl "she's been my queen since we were sixteen" can't believe i forgot this one thank you @mortalenemiestolovers for reminding me!!!
~ falling
~ through the dark “you tell me that your tears are here to stay”
You never do, but if you asked me to I’ll tell the truth lying next to you
“you” never asks for affirmations directly, but by saying shit like their pants are too tight make it clear enough to L that they do need to hear once in a while that it’s not true
Cause you’re the only one when it’s said and done You make me feel like being someone
Good to you even at your worst
~ always you
i love you so much you are a force of life to me, and even when you hate me i want more
~ drag me down “If I didn’t have you there would be nothing left, the shell of a man who could never be his best. If I didn’t have you, I’d never see the sun. You taught me how to be someone” (sung by louis first, harry second)
~ through the dark “even if you scream and shout, it’ll come back to you and I’ll be here for you
You steal the scene and it’s unrehearsed
reference to working on a stage - their natural presence wins everyone over - that charisma is never manufactured
Don’t you wanna dance? Just a little dance I’ll never stop given half the chance
L keeps encouraging them, will also not pass by any chance to dance with them
Every insecurity, like a neon sign, as bright as day If you knew what you were to me You would never try to hide away
“it’s hard to miss”
L sees through them trying to hide their insecurities, pretend to be strong
~ through the dark “but I know you were only hiding”
SYNTHESIS
Perfect Now is not a fan favorite and I am so not here for that discourse, so please do not pester me with negativity about this chocolate drop of a song.
As others have pointed out, the parallels with other songs written by Louis, Harry or for One Direction are extremely present. Especially Little Things is echoed loudly, but there’s so much more to be read, as you’ve seen. These are songs that are clearly near and dear to Louis, bc he wrote them or bc performing them was special, like with Little Things and What Makes You Beautiful. A lot of the same emotions come back in Louis’s writing, so much so that you can’t help but see the larger story behind it all. Throughout Walls you can hear him singing about not giving up and holding your head high despite hardships, and if you look back at his earlier writing, it’s always been there. Through the Dark is an early and striking example of this style of Louis song: you’re sad and i love you so much i will do anything to make that undone but while you’re sad know that i sill very much love you and you’re also strong enough to conquer all of this on your own but i’ll be by your side anyway
basically through the dark’s chorus:
Oh, I will carry you over Fire and water for your love And I will hold you closer Hope your heart is strong enough When the night is coming down on you We will find a way Through the dark
It is very clear that Louis is faced with a partner - I can freely say it’s Harry now right? are the antis gone by now? i think so - that struggles with his body, with his identity, with how he wants to present himself vs how opinions on that might push him down and dampen his spirit. Louis, always the supportive boyfriend, then tries his best to make him see the light, while keeping that space for his sadness, his struggles, or their joint struggles. Accept the sadness but don’t lose your heart to it.
I’ve linked @bluewinnerangel ‘s post at the start of this post, but I need to stress how good it is once more as I also shamelessly insert a screenshot from it here bc it makes me feel a lot and summarizes perfectly just how deeply Perfect Now is woven into the history of their lives, relationship and especially “you”s/Harry’s personal struggle with their identity/body/confidence...
Because yes, i absolutely think these tattoos are being echoed in the song. “Never gonna dance again” as a lyric and then as a tattoo on Harry’s legs like shackles around his ankles represents the sensation of shame, of being stuck, bc of your desires, bc of your sexuality. Obviously we can never know why Harry got the tattoo, as in what experience pushed him to choose those lyrics or what exactly he recognizes in himself, but it’s safe to say it’s about the struggles of being queer and navigating relationships with that identity and with others.
Most importantly, the sense of shamelessly dancing, dancing like no one’s watching, dancing together with your lover, as a celebration of self, life, love, is the key here. Harry got that tattoo ages ago, at a time when he undoubtedly felt way more stuck. When he couldn’t dance freely the way he wanted to and with whom he wanted to. Perfect Now is a reminder to him, an encouragement to still dance if he wants to, no matter what people say or think. Significantly, then, Harry’s own Treat People With Kindness heavily features that same sentiment, but in an extremely positive light: i have found a place (in life and in myself) where i feel like i have given and was given second chances and now i dance bc i finally feel good in my skin.
Louis has obviously been there from the start, or at least from when or before Harry properly started experimenting with/questioning how he likes to present and how he identifies as. Before he ever dared to consider pulling on a pair of women’s skinny jeans, never mind a ball gown. Louis has seen him limit himself as well as being limited by others ofc and has always seemed to have been there, with a secure hand on Harry’s back, to encourage him. Even at a time when boys wearing nail polish or skirts was unthinkable. Just remember how much encouragement Harry needed when growing out his hair; Louis literally joined him. yes this might make me cry okay i need to stop bc i’m going off track and this is just becoming a larry breakdown while i was trying to hype up this beautiful song.
What I’m trying to say is: Louis has always seen all of Harry. He’s always had his back, no matter what. He’s loved every part of him. And now, on a completely gender neutral album, in the sweetest, softest song off of the entire thing, Louis puts in the word “queen”, and that is so very deliberate it makes me want to scream. It’s Louis confirming his love again and again while affirming the multitudes contained by Harry, including everything involving his gender journey. brb crying
It’s a raw Louis, an honest, sweet, kind, loving partner, and both of them are fucking lucky to have each other, and I also wish that all of us end up in a caring and wholesome relationship like that. I truly do.
#wow i thought this one was gonna be easier#i always do why do i think that???#every time i look closer into l's lyrics i see more depth#this is all just a perfect mushy mess so it's on brand for me#perfect now analysis#lyric analysis#my posts#parallels
181 notes
·
View notes
Text
here's a list of things i love about PSMD for no reason other than i think it deserves appreciation (spoilers)
the hero gets adopted by a nuzleaf. Hero, a young child that doesn't know why they were brought into this world, attacked by beheeyem, scared and alone, finds someone that takes them under his wing and gives them a home. it's really sweet that once Nuzleaf brings them to the Village, Hero's not alone anymore.
yes it was all a trick, he deceived you. but being betrayed by your father figure hits so much harder. it's much more personal, especially when both Hero and Partner are kids. and when Nuzleaf goes through all that ordeal in the post game, then gets accepted back into the village?? And his little speech to Hero????? it's heartbreaking and incredibly touching at the same time
everything is just so cute!!!! you go to school with your new friendo and you're friends with the schoolkids, and you make the trip to school every morning taking in the scenery, the smell of dew and fresh grass, and the sun on your face... and you take classes about Mystery Dungeon mechanics, and principal Simipour is a big BRO, the school nurse Audino is super kind and helpful... and you get to play with your pokemon friendos in summer vacation, and explore a dungeon with 'em... AND your bond with your Partner begins to form, getting stronger and stronger from then on. PSMD's beginning arc is so warm and pleasant, it's like reliving childhood memories all over again, when things were happier and you didn't have to worry about how cruel the world is. this story section's one purpose is to get the player used to the game's mechanics, as well as foreshadowing. unfortunately most of the school kids get forgotten later on, but I still love this part for everything it is, even if unintentional.
it's not just the beginning that's cute. PSMD'S ENTIRE WORLD IS ADORABLE. It's just filled with life every town you go. there are a bunch of pokemon locals and they all have interesting things to say, in the main story and the post-game. there's a point where their comments get repetitive, but that's bound to happen in any PMD game. Even then, the days are never the same. one morning you wake up and the Lively Town locals are exercising, then the next they're having singing lessons, and then they're practicing martial arts. and you get to connect with (or recruit) some of them just by.... chatting!!! Sitting next to that big ol' venusaur and sharing stories, laughing and having fun. it's good stuff.
Sometimes you find travelling pokemon in dungeons and it's jsut the coolest thing. Imagine you're exploring a dungeon, then your Connection Orb notifies you there's a fellow explorer in the floor. First thing you do is try to find them, and when you do - oh dang a travelling Archeops!!!! And then they just,,,, exchange their experiences and thoughts on exploration and how hard it is to fend off those enemies and the cool treasure they found the other day (the game calls it "[Team Name] and [Traveller pokemon] compared notes"). then the traveller heals you, fills your belly and restores your PP. and they go on their way. idk man it's such a cute interaction. explorers chatting, empathizing and helping each other, bc their job is not an easy one...
PSMD Partner is the most developed Partner in any PMD game yet. They start off as this naive, hyperactive kiddo, then stuff happens, and worse stuff happens, and you get to see how they grow and change and by the end they're a different person than they were before (in more than one way ...). It's just so nice to be by their side, from the beginning to the bitter end, and watch their growth. in contrast, Hero is a little unbalanced in that their backstory is not explored as much, and their personality is kind of a blank - probs meant to be vague so the player can be in their shoes. to me this just gives you the opportunity to shape their character however you want, so you can have tons of different hero/pardner dynamics.
The music is rlly flippin' good. Some of the tracks are recycled from previous entries, but when they go original??? it's a blast!!! "Echoes of the Mystical Forest" is one of my favorites in all four entries, it has no right being so amazing for a random dungeon. "Time to Set Out" makes me cry immediately (also i think it would be a better fit for the parting ways scene at the end...). Don't even get me started on "Second Dark Matter Battle", it has everything an epic climax needs and MORE. the Partner remix????? absolute genius
speaking of which, Dark Matter ITSELF,, is freaking amazing. Its actions were foreshadowed in the very beginning, though they were not blatant through the game. i do think they could have done a better job at showing the pokemon's negativity raising in the world, as well as negative feelings in the characters... but it's not like Gates did a good job at it, either (outside of cutscenes, all the locals in Post Town are incredibly nice to you and fights didn't "break out often". it's like the game tells you the world is a dark place, but what it shows in gameplay doesn't add up). so i'll cut them some slack. Still, I find Dark Matter a more compelling villain than the Bittercold for several reasons. it is sentient. its speech is a jumbled amount of voices all talking at the same time - the anguished voices of the world. It actually concocted a plan to hurl the planet into the Sun, using pawns like Nuzleaf and Yveltal to do its dirty job. in the Voidlands, Hero and Partner discover its past, and how it'll come back after defeat, like a cycle. when Partner accepts Dark Matter, they accept negative feelings as something everyone has within themselves. Most of all, the fact that Dark Matter is a manifestation of negative feelings doesn't make it just a generic threat, a final obstacle to be defeated so the world can be saved. It makes Dark Matter - negativity itself - a natural part of the world, the yin to its yang. and that's why I LOVE IT SO MUCH DANG IT EVEN THANKS PARTNER FOR THEIR ACCEPTANCE
The fact that Dark Matter can possess pokemon that have "even the smallest amount of darkness in their hearts". it makes me think of Mr. Nuzleaf and what he might have gone through in the past to make him so easy to be controlled. Did he hold a grudge against someone?? Did he commit a crime?? Had Nuzleaf always been malicious???? And if so, is this why he shows so much remorse in the post-game??????? because he had always been this vile fiend and then he met this small kid and got attached, but still carried on with his evil actions because his malice was still stronger than the positive feelings and Dark Matter's hold on him intensified?????? I don't know!!!! and as much as i wish the game could have given us that sweet mr. Nuzleaf backstory, it's pretty fun to have freedom to come up with your own version.
Everything about Super's climax is just phenomenal. Every single flippin' legendary is there to help you. Arceus is in the game. MEWTWO IS THERE. and when things are looking hopeless, they really seem hopeless. First the Tree of Life is dying, then your allies get turned into stone and sent to hell The Voidlands, Arceus gets turned into stone, the entire world is stone (except for several mon' that are still safe and holding onto hope, but they're so few). Your Harmony Scarves stop working and you and your Partner are back to your feeble, basic stage forms. You are bordering exhaustion, you have no Emeras, it's just you and your Partner against an eldritch abomination that's killing the life on the entire planet like a parasite, devouring all hope. but you still fight back. Given how adults in the game always discourage the village children from going adventuring, that they cannot do this or that because they're so little and fragile, it's awesome how Hero and Partner beat Dark Matter as tiny kids.
PSMD is not a flawless game. in fact there's plenty of things that hold it back and i even mentioned some... but it's still full of love put into it and it resonates w me more than PMD Explorers of T/D/S and Gates to Infinity (Rescue Team is a close second). its my all-time favorite PMD game.
309 notes
·
View notes
Text
[crashes in through the ceiling] Hello I Have Normal Opinions About Both Persona 5 And TMA And Can Be Trusted To Speak About Them At Length
ill put it under a read-more tho so i don't clog up the post too much LOL.
also over the course of writing this i definitely swung WILDLY between where in their respective arcs the avatar-ing process would occur, and i rlly can’t justify any of said timeline choices other than saying that, personally, i think its GENERALLY where they both experienced + generated the most fear (w the exception of akira, but he deserves special treatment. he's just a little guy!).
so! so far my personal vibes are:
akira - okay hear me out. stranger? now yes he’s literally a voiceless player character but i like to think he has lots of different themes all mostly circling around the stranger territory. like, in a universe where everything akira is capable of in-game translates 1:1 to real life, this dude would be intimidating + uncanny as shit. can intermittently see through walls to Specifically track people he’s got his eye on (third eye), is unerringly able to break down ppl’s walls + make them all but willing to die for him (confidant bonuses w matching personas), simultaneously has a reputation as a delinquent and as the smartest kid in school, every time he sticks his nose into something new (the volleyball team, madarame’s art exhibition, the extortion ring, etc.) someone Incredibly Powerful and Incredibly Bad trips over themselves on their way to cry on TV and give all of their money to charity, Rose From The Fucking Dead!?!?!!? also just in general, i think this angle could rlly play into the ‘can you really call urself Just Another Human when you regularly go traipsing around in humanity’s collective unconcious + can demonstrably bend ppl’s desires to ur will’ themes, like how maruki’s distorted desires has him self identifying as a god, and ‘above’ humanity. i think both for people who do and don’t know akira personally, he’d have the energy of being like. a little more than ‘just’ another human.
of course, all of that energy could easily be turned into a Hunt avatar, too - able to unerringly track + pin down his confidants, his targets, the treasure, shadows in mementos, personas that he needs, etc etc. life is a game and He’s Winning, and if you’re still playing it’s only because he WANTS you to. there but for the grace of The Main Character, etc etc
ryuji - slaughter, he both lives in fear of sudden acts of violence being comitted against him, since he now knows firsthand that no one will stand up for him/protect him. he also EMBODIES that fear as his reputation gets steadily worse + his aesthetic leans more and more towards delinquent culture - people start assuming he’s this really terrible, violent guy, even when he’s only ever been violent in EXTREMELY justified situations. im realising ive written about him the least even though he’s my favourite PT but honestly its bc thinking abt him in a timeline where the PT’s dont intervene/help him out of that destructive spiral makes me Impossibly Sad. compells me tho,,
ann - flesh, however this could arguably be eye as well? since i think the main Fear she both embodies + experiences is that of being other, being singled out + judged due to her appearance + mixed race. the ‘someone’s Watching and they don’t like what they see’ element of that is obviously very eye. however, because i think a lot of that fear is mostly based around the resulting dehumanisation + sexualisation (or at least it Would be if atlus could remember to write her for more than 5 minutes at a time 😔), especially when its against her will, im still leaning towards flesh. like, she feels less like a person + more like a Body for others to ogle.
yusuke - [guy who Really fucking likes the vast voice] okay so like i feel like the gimme answer here is the lonely but omg haha but wouldn’t it just be SOO crazy and silly if yusuke was the vast,, lol,,, okay but fr i don’t have as much of an explanation on this its more just like. the vibes. feeling like there’s an insurmountable Distance between him and the rest of his society, like he’s in his own world. his awakening + experiences with shadow madarame paticularly emphasise how cold + clear he feels once he distances himself from his personal relationship with the man, and sees the ‘big picture’ (how petty + greedy + evil he is). in simon fairchild’s statement he talks a lot about how what tends to separate the lonely + the vast is the lonely avatar thinks all the suffering + bad shit that’s going on is about them, in that specially depression flavour of solipism, whereas the vast knows it’s not. personally, i feel a more unhealthy yusuke (which, pretty much everyone here would need to be Going Through It to serve an entity) fits the latter, bc he doesn’t have that bedrock of ‘what i think about this Matters, and if i work hard enough my art will prove that’.
makoto - EYE. as much as i absolutely despise the idea that she’d willingly become a cop post-awakening, makoto absolutely embodies the idea of constant surveillance, someone who is constantly watching you + waiting for you to step even a single toe out of line so they can punish you. she’s also EXTREMELY occupied with her own position in the eye’s of others - is she relatable enough, is she responsible enough, humble enough, is she doing her sister + her dad + her teachers + her peers proud, etc etc. my second pick for her though would be buried, w the ‘paralysed by other’s expectations + the weight of the world’ angle, though im not sure there’s much mileage there in how she would inflict that fear on others. maybe a ‘damn that looks MISERABLE i rlly hope i don’t turn out like that’ angle?
futaba - spiral - i personally pick this over lonely for her Specifically because of the mental health motifs in her arc - struggling to process the idea that her mother could’ve been horiffically depressed and she hadn’t noticed, which spurs her into creating the false memories. she doesn’t trust the outside world, but she doesn’t trust herself either (what kind of a horrible daughter wouldn’t notice how unhappy she was making her mother?), and honestly the parts in her palace where she’s hallucinating scenes from her past In Real Life is like. her resulting fear that she might be crazy would definitely feed into the spiral process. and while i honestly i see her more as a Prime Victim of the spiral rather than an avatar out to do its bidding, considering how much Really Important Infrastructure (not to mention knowledge + records of history?) are stored online, she could gaslight the hell out of anyone online enough, even before any extra avatar bonuses. BUT OFC you’ve GOTTA give at least an honourary consideration to the buried, considering [gestures to The Literal Fucking Egyptian Tomb as her palace].
haru - now listen the version of haru okumura that lives exclusively in my mind is an absolute queen of desolation. post her father’s Literal Execution live on TV, i could really see her (figuratively, but only kinda) burning down the company in a sort of ‘he wasted our lives for this and it didn’t even save him so now im gonna do that to everyone who’s ever worked here’ kind of rampage, which would spiral on from there. but if we’re drawing from the actual textual motifs, i think it would probably have to be lonely? stranger gets an half-hearted look-in considering the general vibe of her personas (very beautiful woman ruins ur life and ur not entirely sure what her name was or What she was but either way Uh Oh), but i think lonely has the best chance. the first time you see her in a cutscene she���s separated from the rest of tokyo Actually Having A Fun Time, and looks miserable to boot. she doesn’t trust the people around her to actually value her for her, as compared to just be schmoozing her for her money/her father’s favour. no real relationships, unresolved resentment towards her father that gets worse w the guilt she’d feel for his death, etc. though i don’t think she’d go full peter lukas ‘into the void with you!’ if you tried to strike a conversation with her, i think she’d be the type to just kind of. fade away, mid conversation. make people forget about her, forget about anything other than how cold it is outside, that sort of thing.
akechi - yeah web is literally just. so inspired for him. initially id associated him with stranger, since ’17 year old media darling detective prince corners you in a dark alleyway and fucking Gets You’ is extremely stranger core, but you’re SO right that the STRONGEST fear there is of there being a bigger picture that you can’t see, motives that you can’t pick out, and the feeling that you’re playing into someone else’s hands. obviously, he does Literally All Of That to the phantom thieves pre-interrogation room, but shido is in turn doing it to him the entire time they’re working together, and ofc w yaldabaoth AND maruki in the picture akechi’s so tangled up in fucking webs he’s basically a caccoon. f in the chat.
sumi - THAT’S STRANGER BAYBEEEE. she literally just not-them’d herself with extra steps. im fucking obsessed. no sense of self, only kasumi <3 only the promise <3 only their dream <3 literally no notes top 10 ways to make yourself an avatar in a universe where the fears don’t even fucking exist. Spectacular.
BONUS: morgana - the hunt. he’s a thief and a cat. i rest my case.
saw a post that was like goro akechi is an avatar of the desolation and its not a wrong post its very right but you must understand he's also an avatar of the hunt. and the slaughter. a little bit the stranger. bit corruption or maybe lonely i haven't decided but i feel like you can only have one or the other he's also big time web coded but in the opposite of an avatar way. thanks for coming to my ted talk
#to be clear im stating these very definitively but only bc they're like. definitively my first vibes for them all#i ABSOLUTELY would love to discuss/debate abt these more to any degree of depth that you'd like#its very fun :D#and in the interest of fair discussion ive gotta admit i am EXTREMELY partial to the vast + buried axis of fears#they're just <3 to me.. possibly bc i am fucking terrified of heights#ANYWAY NO PRESSURE TO RESPOND SOON/AT ALL BUT I HOPE U ENJOY THIS LMAO IT WAS VERY FUN TO WRITE :D#mine
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Artist and The Musician
→ I do not claim to know corpse- therefore please don’t think that this is what he would actually act like, or that any details about his life are actually true. this is fiction.
→ Pairing: Corpse Husband X Fem!Reader
→ Genre: Fluff.
→ Words: 5.6k
→ Request: Hey! It’s me again lmao I was curious maybe like sykunno or raes little sister (like 2 or 3 years younger) meets the group and her and corpse just click. How would either of them react to them hearing the news that their little sis is dating corpse and like they’ve moved in together and everything idk I thought it’d be cute💛
→ Warnings: Swearing.
→ Authors Note: Its been a hard couple of weeks and im really sorry that this took so long to be done but depression rlly hit me and I could barely move myself. I hope you enjoy this, and if you do, please comment some words of encouragement or feedback 💛
→ if you have some spare change , consider buying me a coffee.
You sighed as you finally dropped the last box in your new room, stretching to get rid of the pains in your back. Grabbing your phone, you moved over to Sykkunos room, knocking before sticking your head in.
"You want subway?" you asked when he looked up from the computer. He nodded with a quick smile, and as you closed the door behind you, you could hear him talking to the stream, letting them know that it was just his sister. Quickly ordering on Ubereats, you slumped on the sofa, closing your eyes and resting for a bit.
You had decided to move in with Sykkuno a month ago, the same week you'd decided to drop out of college. It wasn't something your parents were happy with, but after seeing how big your art and business had gotten, they had let you drop out. You'd dropped out and moved to LA, moving into an apartment with Sykkuno since he had to leave the OTV house. Sykkuno had moved in a week earlier which was why his room and computer was all set up. You'd only moved in today, spending a few weeks at home with your parents before leaving for LA. Stretching, you grabbed your phone, checking how long it would be until the food came, and then clicking on Instagram. Your most recent post was of this morning, a photo of you sitting on top of half the boxes in your room, throwing a peace sign at the camera. Sykkuno had taken it for you, the whole process taking 10 minutes cuz you made him take it at 45 different angles. Scrolling through the comments, you liked a few, replying to the ones by your best friends.
@selinaissss: "HOW DARE YOU LOOK THIS PERFECT AT 8 IN THE MORNING????"
→ @junefarie: i look like a racoon dont u dare
@onlyalyssa: "we need a house tour"
→ @junefarie: bitch I dont even have a bed yet
You grabbed the subway order when the bell rang, saying a quick thank you to the delivery man. You left yours on the table, and went to Sykkunos room, yelling "Sykkuno catch!" before throwing it at him, giggling as he leapt forward from his chair to catch it. Closing the door softly behind you, you jumped onto the couch, sitting cross-legged, grabbing your sketchbook and pencils from your backpack and setting them on your lap. It was time to wind down a bit.
~
It was a week later and you had unpacked fully, now focusing more on creating new pieces of art for a shop update. You were also working on some designs specifically for shirts and hoodies. Sykkuno found you in front of your computer, blanket wrapped around you and glasses perched on your nose as you emailed the manufacturer you were working with for the hoodies.
"Un, y/n?" he said hesitantly knocking on the door. You spun around in your chair, raising your eyebrows at him. "What's up?"
He walked in, sitting down gingerly on the edge of the bed and you got your water from the table, taking a sip as you wait for him to talk.
"I um- You know how I- I play Among Us right?" he asked, scratching his neck.
You hummed in response, urging him on with a nod. Sykkuno was almost never this nervous around you. Most of the time, you guys talked normally, joking and teasing each other. For him to be stuttering around you, he must have been extremely nervous.
"Well, you know Rae right? She um, she asked me to make a lobby," he said, standing up and pacing now. You furrowed your brows, confused as to where this was going.
He was explaining what a lobby was (which what the fuck, you watched his streams, of course you knew what a lobby was, why was he explaining that) when you cut him off, getting up and grabbing his shoulders to stop him.
"Hey, what's wrong?" you asked, holding his shoulders with both your hands.
He sighed and slumped into you, his head coming to a rest on your shoulder.
"Rae asked me to make a lobby and it's the first time I've ever made one and I'm really nervous about it. I've already invited people, but um I was wondering if you wanted to join as well? I- It would help me to have you there." he muttered, the words muffled as he spoke into your shoulder.
"Me?" you asked, a little shocked because you had never played among us before.
He nodded against your shoulder.
"Um sure!" you said, wrapping your arms around his middle, "It'll be fun!"
"And hey," you added on when he didn't say anything after that, "I can meet all your friends as well!"
He finally lifted his head a little, smiling as he muttered out a quick "Thanks y/n."
"However," you added, jumping back onto your seat and wiggling your eyebrows at him. "You have to buy me pizza for tonight's dinner."
He chuckled, grabbing his phone and already mutterng the order to himself as he opened up the ubereats app and walked out of the room.
You turned back to the laptop humming a tune under your breath. From interactions like this, most people would probably assume that you were older but the truth was that Sykkuno was 5 years older than you. Your roles were reversed and you were probably more protective over him than anyone else. Once in high school a girl had called him cute and asked him for his number only to write it on the bathroom walls. After the first three prank calls, you'd taken the phone from him yelling at anyone who called that if they called again, that you'd personally track them down and shove a dildo up their ass.
Both of you had always been close, but with the amount of bullying and teasing he got in high school, you'd got even closer, eventually becoming his best friend in a way. Seeing Sykkuno grow as a person, get new friends who were genuinely nice and kind made you the happiest person alive. When Sykkuno had first started streaming you'd been worried, scared that people online would say something mean. When he had first started streaming with other streamers and then met Lily and all his other friends, you had been anxious, worrying that they might only be putting up a friendly facade. You were also the happiest though when he grew even closer to them, when he smiled more, laughed more, talked more.
You had yet to meet or talk to any of his friends, mostly because you'd been in college, and the pandemic had made it harder. Maybe it was finally time.
~
The day came and you sat in your room, once again a blanket wrapped around you, glasses perched on your nose as you accepted the discord invite Sykkuno sent you.
"DO I GO IN THE CHAT THINGY?" you yelled to Sykkuno, hearing a "YES" before clicking on the voice chat.
You mumbled a "hello", wondering if your mic was on.
"Hey, yeah I can hear you y/n."
Breathing a sigh of relief, you logged into the game, smiling as you heard sykkuno introduce you to his chat. "Hi everyone," you said, feeling a bit weird only talking to a screen. You rubbed your hands, a little nervous to be doing this.
Just then someone else joined and before you could even speak another three people joined as well, all of them yelling hello as they joined.
"He- Hey guys, how's everyone doing?" started sykkuno.
"Im doing great oh my god, guess what guys, I'm-" started Rae, cutting herself off. "wait, whos um "ms snores a lot"?
You were a bit confused for a second, furrowing you eyebrows for a second before realising what had happened.
"SYKKUNO YOU ASSHOLE WHAT THE FUCK?" you yelled, staring at the name underneath the voice channel that you now realised belonged to you. You could hear Sykkunos laughter from the other room but you just spluttered indignantly. He was the one who had set up everything on your computer yesterday because technology was something that you rarely messed around with.
"Sykkunooo" you whined, when he kept laughing, "How the fuck do I change it now?"
"Um wait, sykkuno who is this?" asked Rae, the other three echoing her. You glanced at the names and from the voices figured out that it was Rae, Toast, Sean and Corpse in the lobby.
"Hey okay, so guys this is my sister, her names y/n and we recently moved in together, so I asked her to be in the lobby because... um.." he said stuttering at the end to find a reason.
"Because he wanted to embarrass me apparently!" you exclaimed, giving him a way out.
"Oh god, um - you can change it in settings, at the bottom near where your name is."
"Ahhh," you said finding it and then simply typing in your art business name.
"Its nice to meet everyone by the way," you started. "I've been watching your videos for ages so it almost fels like I already know you"
Raes voice started in your ears and you winced at the volume befoe turning it down a bit.
"I would love to say that Sykkuno has told us a lot about you, but the truth is that he keeps a lot of secrets and I didnt even know he had a sister, I AM SO SHOCKED RIGHT NOW"
You gasped. "Sykkuno what the fuck, you didn't even tell Rae?"
"You told me not to tell a lot of people!" he protested.
You heard someone saying "they're so different!' but you ignored it and kept talking.
"Yeah at the start! and on stream! I can't believe you never even said you had a sister." you spluttered out, followed by another gasp.
"Are you embarrassed of me?" you whispered dramatically.
"N-What no of course not!" he exclaimed, and you could also imagine how wide his eyes would have gotten.
You giggled before telling him that you were only joking.
"Um since sykkuno is embarrassed of me," you said jokingly, "I'll just tell you myself."
"I'm like five years younger than sykkuno, I'm a June baby, I do art, my star sign is cancer, I'm 5'4, I recently moved in with sykkuno, and my favourite colour is purple!"
"Oh is that why your username is junefarie? Because you were born in June?" asked Sean.
Before you could say yes, someone else cut in.
"Wait, junefarie?" asked corpse, "like the artist?"
Your eyes widened as you realised that he knew you. Sure you had quite a few followers, but you never expected any of Sykkunos friends to know you from there.
"Um yeah," you said letting out a shocked laugh, "I didnt expect anyone here to know about me."
"Dude, your art is fire!" he exclaimed, voice louder now. "I was honestly thinking of buying a piece soon, I've followed you for ages!"
"Wait, I wanna see as well." whined Rae, "Ima look you up, are you on Instagram?"
"Um," you said still shocked by the fact that somone this big knew you. "yeah I'm on instagram, its just junefarie." you said first replying to Rae, "Um corpse, thankyou so much! thats so nice of yo!"
"Um my art isn't that great yet," you chuckled, embarrassed by all the attention now. "I'm hoping to improve a lot more and I have a bunch of ideas for it as well. I'm hoping to work more now that I moved in with Sy."
"Oh my god, this is amazing," whispered Rae, Toast and Sean echoing her. You ducked your head even though no one could see you. Your cheeks were blazing hot and you pressed your hands to them to cool yourself down.
"Thankyou," you mumbled, not sure what to say.
Someone else entered the lobby, and said "hi" and you welcomed the source of distraction.
"Hi! I'm Sykkunos sister, y/n!" you said , wanting to move away from the topic of your art.
The reply of "sykkuno has a SISTER?" made everyone laugh, successfully moving the attention to Sykkuno and off your art. Finally Sykkuno started the game and you breathed as you lost yourself in the art of gaming.
"OH MY GOD!" yelled Rae as the game ended and everyone appeared in the lobby. "That was like amazing, Y/N I cant belive you pulled that off!"
She was talking about the last game where there was 50/50 between corpse and Sykkuno (because you refused to kill sykkuno when you were imposter) and you somehow managed to convince Sykkuno that it was Corpse.
"Honestly, neither can I!" you exclaimed back staring at your screen, eyes blurring the screen because of how tired you were.
"I can't believe Sykkuno," mumbled corpse. "I literally said I saw her vent and kill toast and Sykkuno was still like "hmmm, I don't think so."
Giggling at Sykkunos yell of "SHES MY SISTER" you yelled out a bye as everyone started leaving and then struggled to find a way to end the call.
"Wait, how do I end it," you muttered to yourself.
You jumped as Corpse talked, not expecting anyone to be there.
"You can see yoru name at the bottom left right? Its above that but a little to the right." he said chucling a little.
"Oh." you said, you cheeks heating up. You didnt know if it was because of him or because you were utterly useless with technology.
"Um thankyou," you said awkwardly.
"No problem."
You exited out of the call, a small smile at your lips.
Sykkunos friends were nice.
~
After the stream, your fanbase grew, and with it, the number of orders as well. For the next week, you were buried under orders, only leaving the house to go to the post office.
An Instagram post on @junefarie account:
[ID: A photo of y/n and sykkuno standing in the middle of the living room, packages scattered everywhere. Y/n is hugging Sykkuno tight and Sykkuno is staring at the camera, a distressed look on his face.]
Caption: Thankyou so much for all my supporters and all the love shown to me. Sending out loads of orders and I cant wait for you gusy to get yours! Special thanks to @sykkuno for helping me send out orders. luv yu.
Comments:
@Sykisacutie: best sibling duo!
@valkyrae: hope my order is in their as well.
→ I SCREAMED WHEN SY TOLD ME THAT WAS YOUR NAME.
@corpse_husband: sykkuno looks like he's accepted death.
→ @sykkuno: I would have welcomed death at that point
→ @corpse_husband @sykkuno: okay ill be honest, I would have welcomed death as well.
@ariesin: go best friend, go! we need to get together to paint soon !!
→ SOONNNNNN
~
You flopped onto your bed, every part of your body hurting. Carrying boxes filled with orders down the stairs had tired your whole body, which wasn't used to any exercise at all. That had taken practically the whole day and then you had to clean your room because the mess from the orders had barely left any room to move. You flung your hand to the side, grabbing your phone from the table and bringing it up to your face. The "1:02" was clearly visible on your screen and you unlocked the phone, heading to Twitter. Scrolling through your feed, you liked a few tweets from friends before gearing yourself up and moving to the messages. Ever since you'd played with Corpse, Sykkuno and everyone, you'd been getting a lot of messages. Most of them were just the streamers fans, asking you if you know them or telling you to take care of sykkuno. There were a few though that targeted you, telling you that your art sucked, that they didn't know why Corpse could like my art. You'd taken to deleting them before sleeping so that your inbox wouldn't get cluttered and you could still find any serious requests or messages from your followers. Therefore, you didn't really think anything of it when there was another message from someone with a Corpse icon and you clicked on it only to see the message and gasp, immediately sitting up in bed.
Corpse_Husband → Hey, I was wondering if I could work with you on something? I really love your art and was wanting to commission or collaborate for an album cover or some merch designs. Message me on this number cuz I barely see my dms.
Underneath was a number.
"Oh my god," you whispered, unsure as to what to do.
When you had decided to drop out of college, you had expected hard days. You had expected your normal orders and mostly just improving your art and marketing it more. You had expected long days and not much money in the bank account. You certainly had not expected the immense amount of orders you'd gotten. Along with that, the amount of love and support had taken you by surprise and you had spent the last night crying because of how much love you and your art were getting.
You had also not expected such a big opportunity just landing at your feet.
Quickly you clicked on the number, putting it in your contacts with the name Corpse and then writing a quick message.
"Hey I got your twitter dm! I've personally never done art for merch or album covers but I would love the opportunity!"
You bit your lip, confused as to whether that was enough before deciding it was fine and just sent it.
Your heart beat a little faster as you slumped back onto the bed.
~
@junefarie Instagram story:
[ID: A zoomed-in picture of a drawing, the only part that was visible was curly hair. The text read: "Working on something SO COOL"]
~
Your phone was ringing. Stuffing the rest of the pizza in your mouth, you swept your hand over the covers of your bed, trying to find it. With a muttered "aha", you grabbed it and swiped on the call before it ended. Pressing the phone to your ear, you mumbled a "hello", still chewing the pizza bite.
A low rapsy voice came out of the speaker, one that you definitely didn't expect. You choked on the pizza, coughing out pieces onto the bed. Sure you guys had messaged each other a bit (you kinda had to because of the commission), but you hadn't expected him to call out of nowhere.
"Um I hope this isn't a bad time," he said when you didn't respond for a second. Of course, he didn't exactly know that hearing his voice so close to your ear had you frozen for a second.
"Um no," you replied, coughing slightly to clear your throat. "It's fine! What did you wanna talk about?"
"Oh, um I know you're already working on the commission and its looking great! I can't wait to work with the merch team to create something really cool with it, but um-" he broke off for a second sounding hesitant. "I really wanna get another commission done as well."
"Oh?" you said after a second when he didn't reply. "I'd be happy to do another one for you!"
"Uh yeah, but I'm afraid that I might be a bit late, You see I was wondering if it could be done before Christmas?"
You sucked in a breath as you counted the days in your mind.
"Hmm, it depends on how big it is tbh. There's still 2 weeks to go till Christmas so I could fit it in," you mumbled, biting your lip as you remembered the onslaught of orders you still had to send out.
"Well," he started and you smiled a little as the excitement crept into his voice. "You know that Sykkuno, Rae, Toast and me are called the 4 Amigops right? I kinda wanted a portrait of all 4 of us, in our um among us colors, and I basically wanted to print it out and send to each of them for Christmas."
"Aww, that sounds like such a good idea, I'm sure they'll all love it!" you smiled, thinking about how much Sykkuno would appreciate that.
"Uh thanks," he mumbled, "do you think you can get it done?"
"Sure!" you replied immediately. You did have a lot of orders, yes, but like, you could fit Corpse in. If you pulled a few all-nighters. "I'll send you the sketches soon okay?"
"Oh thank god, thankyu so much for this y/n, I really appreciate it. Youre one of my favourite artists and I'm really happy that I could finally commisison you after so long."
"So long?" you questioned. "Since when have you known about my art?"
There was a moment of silence and then "Um, around the time you still posted your sketches and stuff I guess?"
You furrowed your eyebrows thinking for a second before letting out a gasp.
"Corpse that was 4 years ago!"
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, oh my god, I cant believe you've seen those, I was so bad then!"
"No no, they were really good at that time as well! I was so shocked when Sykkuno told us you were his sister because like, I'd been following you for ages and I had absolutely no idea. You guys are like really different."
"Hah yah, Sykkunos so soft, and then there's me. An actual devil."
"Your usernames so different as well! I remember when I first saw a picture of you on your account and I was kind of shocked because based on the name junefarie, I was expecting someone very soft I guess but then you were literally the opposite and wearing actual devil horns."
"Oh god, that was one of the first few photos I posted of myself. that was on Halloween I think,", you took a deep breath still shocked that Corpse had known about you for that long,
"Yeah, I chose junefarie because...”
It was 2 hours later when Corpse said that he should probably be working on his music.
"Oh I'm so sorry," you apologized, "I didn't mean to keep you,"
"Oh no, I um, I liked talking to you."
Your breath caught for a moment and you smiled like a lunatic at your Pokémon covered bedsheets.
"I liked talking to you as well," you whispered out, heart sinking a little as you realized the call would be ending soon.
"Um, do you, maybe want to stay on call? like I'll just be writing and we can just chill?" he asked and you felt like your prayers had been answered.
"yes" you said quickly, not giving him a chance to back out.
He chuckled, and you fell in love a little.
Just a little.
~
You continued like that, calling each other every few days, talking so much and then at times, not talking at all, simply content with each others company.
He had even started facetiming you, the first time with a mask and then the second without it. You hadn't made a big deal about it, but the first time you saw him, you could barely breathe.
There were five days left until Christmas when you got the idea.
You were entirely not subtle about it, because, well to be honest, there wasn't a subtle bone in your body.
"Hey Corpse, do you like surprises?" you had asked, in the middle of colouring Raes hair (her hair was the last thing left before you could finally print the goddamn thing)
"It depends," he had murmured after a second, voice sending shivers down your spine like every time. Now whether that was because of his voice or because of him, you weren't entirely sure.
"on what?" you prodded when he refused to answer.
"On whether its a good one or a bad one" he had huffed out.
You had hummed, waited for a second and then blurted out that next question because you did not have a cent of patience.
"So what are you doing at Christmas?"
"Sleeping, if I can manage it," he replied, his voice taking on a sardonic tone, eyes flicking to you on the screen. The only thing he could see though was the top of your head because you had your iPad on the bed and were laying over it as you drew.
"Not with that attitude you aren't," you replied right back, making a small smile appear across his face.
"Hmmm, okay!" you said when he didn't reply.
He looked back over, eyebrows furrowed and mouth opening as he started to question you.
"Hey did you see the video I sent you?" you quickly asked distracting him from his question.
He would probably guess the surprise but that was okay. You only wanted to make a smile appear on his face. And honestly, for someone with anxiety, a small warning of a surprise was definitely needed.
~
It was Christmas day and you woke Sykkuno up at 6 in the morning with the promise that you'd buy him McDonald's. 30 minutes later, you were both in the car, yelling the lyrics to "All I want for Christmas" at the top of your lungs.
You had told sykkuno of your plan a few days ago and he had smiled at you with that stupid smile, agreeing with a small "alright."
You'd immediately realised that he knew. Even though you pretended otherwise, Sykkuno was the older one and the thing about older siblings was that they always knew.
They always knew.
So there you were, snacks loaded into your car, McDonald's fries practically everywhere, and a cake you had made in the backseat, on your way to Corpses house.
There was a lull in the music, and you were only 30 minutes away from his place, butterflies fluttering in your stomach when Sykkuno asked you a question.
"You like him right?" he murmured, head leaning against the window, eyes closed.
There was a moment of silence as you thought about what to say. Did you like Corpse? Of course, you liked Corpse! He was funny, he was nice, he made you feel like you were the only person that mattered and your heart beat faster than ever whenever he looked at you. Hell, that was through a screen, in real life, it would probably be even worse. So of course you liked him! The question was, did he like you back?
"Yeah," you answered Sykkuno, eyes straight on the road.
A second passed and then he smiled. "Good," he replied. and well. That was that. You sighed.
At least you had your brothers blessing.
~
Pulling into the apartment building, you breathed in, your heart beating a million times a second and the butterflies in your stomach had turned into snakes. Maybe, maybe this wasn't a good idea at all. I mean, you expected Corpse to get the hint but what if he didn't? and what if he didn't want you to come? Maybe you were being too quick. After all, It'd only been a month since you'd met.
These thoughts plagued your mind as you trudged up the stairs, turning to Sykkuno as you reached the door.
"Maybe we shouldn't have come," you whispered to him.
He looked at you, eyebrows high, "We just travelled two hours to get here. There's no way im going back without at least giving him the print."
"What if he doesn't want us to be here?" you hissed.
"Then we'll go away." he stated, "after we give him the print."
"But what if-"
Before you could even finish your sentence, the door opened and you both jumped, turning to face the person standing in the doorway.
You forced yourself to breathe as you finally saw him. It was him. Wearing a black beanie, half his hair spilling out the sides, stubble clear on his chin... it was him. At that moment, there was only one thought in your mind.
You were gonna marry this man.
"You suck at whispering," he said, and you huffed out a laugh, jumping onto him without even responding. You wrapped your arms around him, not letting go until Sykkuno cleared his throat from behind you.
You turned back immediately, grabbing the stuff in Sykkunos hands so he could greet Corpse too. As they awkwardly did their handshake/fistbump thing, you walked over to the couch behind them, putting down the print and the takeaway bags, and putting the cakebox down on the table.
You turned around to see them both standing there staring at you.
"Surprise?" you said when no one else spoke. That broke the ice a little and you grabbed the print from the couch thrusting it at Corpse.
"Open it. Open it. Open it." you mumbled, your heart beating fast as he carefully ripped the paper off. The smile that overtook his face made your heart immediately calm.
"It's beautiful," he whispered, eyes roaming everywhere, trying to take it all in. Clearing his throat, he nodded his head further into the apartment, mumbling that he was going to put it in the room, eyes still on the print as he walked there.
"You smile is gonna blind me," muttered Sykkuno.
"Oh shut up."
~
A few hours later, you stood in the kitchen, putting the leftover cake into Corpses fridge. You had all chilled, eating cake and the takeout that you and sykkuno had bought, laughing every few minutes. It felt like you were all on an adrenaline rush. You had facetimed Rae and Toast, Rae shrieking when she realised where you guys were. Sykkuno had just fallen into a nap, still tired from being wakened up so early, you assumed.
You leaned against the kitchen bench, smiling as Corpse walked in.
"Thankyou." he said as he came to a stop next to you, matching your position.
"For what?" you mused, even though you had a good enough idea.
"For the print. For coming here. For making my Christmas, a much happier affair than it has been my whole life." he stated, chuckling at the last point.
You turned your head sideways, and you didn't know what it was, but something about his face made you spurn into action. You grabbed his collar, pulled him down, and kissed him before he could even say anything. It would be too cliche to say that fireworks erupted. And if you were being honest they didn't. Instead, it felt like everything was finally right. You fit perfectly in his arms as they wrapped themselves around you, and you smiled into the kiss as he lifted you up, making you sit at the counter. You twirled the hair at the nape of his neck with your left hand, taking a deep breath in as you both slowed down and pulled away.
"Well," he whispered, "that was unexpected."
You raised a single eyebrow. Honesty you'd done a lot for this relationship. You just drove for nearly 3 hours! If he wanted it to progress, he was gonna have to say it himself.
"But not unwelcome," he continued when you didn't speak. A moment passed, where you could see that he was psyching himself up to say something. Finally, with a heaving sigh, he whispered "Darling, would you do me the honour of being called yours?"
You melted right there.
A nod was all he needed before he grabbed your lips with his again, both of you giggling when he accidentally hit the side of your mouth instead of the lips.
The sound of a picture being taken filled the air, making you spring apart and swing your heads over to the doorway, which had sykkuno leaning against it, his phone in his hand.
"Thank god. Rae and Toast bet that you wouldn't confess until after Christmas, so now they both owe me 20 bucks." he said, now fiddling on the phone. "Dont worry Corpse, I'll add a circle over your face or something."
Your mouth dropped open as you stared at your brother.
"You bet on my love life?" you scoffed, still shocked.
At his nod though, you swung off the bench, marching until you were eye to eye to him.
"I want half the winnings."
Rolling his eyes, he turned back to the living room, jumping onto the sofa.
"C'mon, let's watch one more episode before heading back," he said and you jumped in next to him, patting the space next to you as Corpse came in behind you.
You grabbed Sykkunos hand and squeezed it, letting him know that you were grateful that he didn't make it such a big deal. Leaning your head on corpses shoulder, you smiled to yourself.
You'd have to leave in 30 minutes, to drive back to your parents and spend the rest of Christmas with them, leaving Corpse behind. And that made you a bit sad sure, but it couldn't overpower the feeling of pure happiness at being here. At giving him a happier Christmas. You smiled as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.
Nothing could overpower this feeling of absolute happiness.
fin.
Corpse husband taglist: @mythicalamphitrite @ramble-writes @atsumubabe @anxiouskat5646 @itssierramcquade @xaestheticalien @jotaroslightning @starstruckllamapuppy @gxldenskiez @shinyshimaagain @cavanana @fee-btheweeb (send an ask to be added!)
#corpse x reader#corpse husband x reader#corpse husband#corpse x y/n#corpse x you#corpse husband fanfiction#sykkunos sister#sykkuno fanfic#hope you enjoy#love yous
578 notes
·
View notes
Text
thank you @chiptrillino for tagging me in a wip game!
not quite sure what the rules are but based off of your AMAZING POST OF ART WIPS (check it out here yall chip is so talented) ive decided to just share some parts of my writing wips that i rlly like because i cannot draw whatsoever lmao
enjoy some lil snippets hehe
from heart don't stand a chance:
"Zuko couldn’t get over her eyes. She was looking past the camera towards the man who took it. Zuko could see clear as day the love she held for Sokka in her gaze.
It was a perfect moment that Sokka had captured. No wonder held it with him at all times. If someone had looked at Zuko like that, he’d never want to see anything again.
As he took in the photograph, Sokka sat next to him in silence. His hand was clutching the ring around his neck again in his fist, pressing it close to his mouth as he peered over Zuko’s shoulder to look. Zuko turned to him to compliment the picture and saw a sad fondness lingering in his eyes."
this is a scene i wrote a while ago thats gonna appear in a much later chapter. but yeah. more yue angst for you guys im so sorry.
from i love you (and that's all i really know):
"Mister Sokka," a little voice wishpered in his ear as he felt tiny pokes on his cheek, "Wake up Mister Sokka."
"Good morning to you too Izumi," Sokka responded wearily as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He looked towards the little girl who was standing on her tippy toes to see over the edge of the bed and poke his face until he rose.
She smiled at him once she realized he was awake.
"Can we have pancakes?" She asked shyly, hiding her mouth just below the edge of the bed as she looked up at him with hopeful eyes.
That look was going to be dangerous for him later on, he could aready tell.
"Sure thing, Izumi, just let me sleep for five more minutes, mkay?" He asked as he shut his eyes again. He was exhausted from last nights events, and the sun had barely risen. How did Zuko do this?"
this is a scene from the next chapter of this fic. so much sokka and izumi bonding you guys are gonna explode hehehe.
from cherry (the mailee fic i wont shut up about that is now a whopping 19 pages):
"Mai never had to guess with Ty Lee. She always knew when Ty Lee was happy about something because she would use an obnoxious amount of exclamation points. She would send gifs of people or cartoons making outlandish expressions whenever she wanted to react to Mai’s text with a specific facial expression. Sometimes Ty Lee would even send voice memos whenever her thoughts became too long, or she got too excited about a story that her fingers couldn’t type as fast as she could speak."
hehe i love mailee.
from yours (the mailee sorority fic that i promise i did not forget about):
"Mai lifted her head off the pillow again and met Zuko’s eyes. She studied his impassive expression, trying to figure out if he was joking or not. He did seem like he missed Mai and Azula, so maybe he did really just want to catch up with them.
But Mai wasn’t going to give up a golden opportunity like this.
“Tell us everything about the boy toy as well and you’ve got yourself a deal,” Mai said.
Zuko rolled his eyes and sighed, “Ugh, fine. And his name is Sokka by the way.”
“Nuance. You also have to wake up Azula.”
“No chance in hell,” Zuko scoffed, “You’re the roommate and her fellow ‘pong princess,’ wake-up duty is all yours.”
“If she murders me, it’s your fault. She’s a bitch when she’s hungover.”
“Whatever you say, Mai,” Zuko grinned before returning back to his phone."
i have decided that zuko is a little shit for this fic and no one can stop me.
from Where'd All the Time Go? (the yuekka fic that i have severe writers block with that i also promis i have not forgotten about):
"“Sokka I really think you need to take a moment and-”
“I am fine Aang, I don’t have time for a feelings talk right now. Right now I need to find the fucking chief of this damn place.” His words came out harsher than he meant, but he didn’t have the time to dwell on that.
Before Sokka could run off again to continue his search, a hand grabbed his arm. One of Arnook’s advisors, Malina, had started dragging him towards the podium.
“Do you not realize how late you are for this Sokka? The ceremony was supposed to begin with your speech nearly an hour ago-” she hissed at him as she pulled him along through the crowd.
“Malina I’m sorry but I really need to speak with Arnook it is urgent-”
“This damn speech of yours is what’s urgent right now Sokka, you can speak with Arnook later but the guests are getting antsy so you need to give your speech right. Now.”
“But-”
“Now.”
Maline shoved Sokka towards the podium and suddenly all eyes were on him. Every guest in attendance had their focus solely on Sokka."
homeboy is stressed in this scene. things are slowly going to shit in this chapter. i promise i will update this before the end of the year. i swear. im so sorry.
from a currently untitled jetko/sukka boiling rock fic:
"“Oh good, you survived after all,” She said in a mocking tone.
Jet didn’t answer. He knew anything he said would be used against him. He didn’t know where he was. He didn’t know what was happening. But he would be damned if he showed that weakness in front of the fire nation.
“I was told you were more talkative than this,” the girl mused. There was something familiar about her, “my informants were very detailed when discussing your little teashop romance.”
I knew it. Jet snarled in his mind, That bastard betrayed me."
i want this fic to be a little darker but idk how good i am at writing darker fics because i love fluff and humor too much. this could be good angst practice for me.
from a toph and sokka fic that i wrote a while back to help me cope w some shit that i dont know if ill ever post:
"“Sokka? Are you still there?” Toph asked, the slightest hint of concern began to slip into their voice
“Tell me a story,” he was trembling. Despite all of his efforts to sound calm, he knew his voice came out trembling and scratchy and pathetic-
“Is everything okay? You don’t sound too hot,” Toph said through the phone.
Breathe, Sokka, breathe. You don’t want them to be worried, you just need to calm down.
“Please, Toph, I just,” he said through shaky breaths that weren’t nearly deep enough for him to be getting enough oxygen, “I just need a distraction. I just need to hear your voice okay?”"
nonbinary toph anyone?
from a 10 things i hate about you kataang and zukka au:
"“What? Something on my face?” the guy asked deadpanned. He rubbed at his scar as if he were wiping off a smudge of mustard, and Aang’s face went pale.
“Stop scaring the sophomores Zuko, this one’s new. He won’t get your… humor… just yet,” Ms. Wu said as she waved Aang off again.
“I’m hurt that you’d imply I’m not funny, Wu. I’m hilarious,” the senior, Zuko, said as he walked past Aang.
Aang let out a sigh of relief knowing that this Zuko guy didn’t seem all that offended by his awkwardness, and darted out of the room."
zuko is a little shit part 2. the amount of sarcasm i have dripping off of heath ledger zuko is glorious. let zuko be a little shit. i havent added to this in months but when i finish some of my other wips i cant wait to get back to this.
i have more wips and drafts saved but none of them have anything juicy or funny or interesting yet because all of them are like less than three pages so far
but yeah, heres a good chunk of sneaky peakys from my wips!
I hope you liked them!
anyone who wants to do this can totally go for it. imma tag @ambykinns @lumities and @flowers-inthepieshop (only if you all want too!!) because this was fun :)
#liv talks about writing#liv talks ab fanfic#liv wips#liv fics#i love sharing my writing#especially when i have a bit of a block going on with well.... every fic#maybe this will give me inspiration!!!#i love sharing my writing im proud of these little snippets and i hope you all likes them as well :)#atla#avatar: the last airbender
40 notes
·
View notes
Note
Just wanted to say thank you so much for all the brainworms you have been giving me and my friends for the past few hours about Ayin and all the analyses you've been doing about him.
I have been losing my mind in the middle of the night thinking about all the things you've said, turning it over like crazy and trying to compare it with the gameplay I've had of Lobotomy Corporation and Library of Ruina.
Please do more analysis and share more of your ideas! Please? Please, with cherry on top? Please, I beg of you?
Especially if you have in-depth ideas of analyses for the Sephirah and how it relates to both their own characters and Ayin and Angela.
I thank you greatly in advance!
the implication that i've infected an entire friend group with my brainworms is power that will 100% go to my head i feel amazing. what else is analysis posting except trying to inflict people with the same thoughts bouncing around your skull on repeat
i DO have shit on the sephirah but mostly netzach, because i love netzach, and i in fact found my discord ramble about him (and chesed)
i dont have things on how they relate to A and Angela specifically because I mainly kept thinking abt Reverbaration Ensemble parallels... i have so many thoughs abt Netzach and Bremen.
(but if you want me to talk about, say, a specific core supression, or floor realization... i have a lot of thoughts on floor realizations.)
First off I am so sorry that you seem to think I'm smart because that means i have the perfect opportunity to inflict you with this
okay now we can get to the serious stuff
[transcript:
containment breach:
quick ramble abt lor again but i love the ensemble receptions so much. i'm at chesed's rn, and i know he's been chill the entire game, but him just refusing to comment on jae-hoon's tragedy seems, out of context, a dick move, but also is so important for chesed to do? he recognizes that another's suffering is not related to him, that he can't do anything about it, and that this is fine. The closest i'd describe chesed in lobcorp would be "activist burnout." Due to betraying the lab from garion's pressure, chesed was so consumed by guilt, he just blamed himself for everything and became more callous because it's already his fault, right? There's nothing he can do. But in lor, he knows what his responsibilities are, and allows himself joy where he can find it. I love the ensemble receptions bcuz they are just examplary of each patron libriarian's growth and i iqbfjc (sobs)
GOD this sure is a paragraph
also have to salute netzach for carrying his scene all by himself as the musicians of bremen just (animal noises) :pray:
ykno being online i realize that i'm not quiet at all i am a complete and utter chatterbox /end]
[transcript:
containment breach:
thinking abt netzach's scene where he doesn't talk to bremen, because he can't, but recognizes this who has not only lost themself in their own art but also their own suffering
i just i love netzach so much his entire character arc is abt learning to live with depression and learning to want to live again
so he becomes unable to understand, really, why someone would sacrifice themselves for their own art
when he started out just, similar yet different from bremen, completely submerged in his own misery
musicians of bremen reminds me i still have bremen bon bons at home i should eat those. they r tasty /end]
i wanna specifically dig into this scene more because i love that scene, a lot.
Art as we get to know it in the City is irrevocably tied to violence. Puppets are made of human bodies, music is played on bones and sinews. To the artists of the City, to create art is to make someone suffer. Rewatching Netzach's story bits, Roland describes it as doing nothing but seeking stimulation and being provocative.
Furthermore, there is a direct comparison between art and alcohol. To paraphrase more, the Pianist must've been one hell of a stimulant, like getting hit by a strong booze. A performance some are still hungover from.
Netzach's main struggle was addiction because of depression, and his growing appreciation for art is a continuation of that arc. He says himself that art and alcohol are linked.
However, alcohol is a step down from hard drugs. Netzach hasn't quit, but just that step down shows he learned moderation, which makes me very proud of him.
Moderation is what the other.. let's just call them artists, lack. I said in the screencaps above, initially, Netzach was lost in his own suffering, and the musicians of bremen are lost in their art. And if art is seen as equal to suffering, that just means Netzach and Bremen are more similar than expected. (Especially considering what we see of the musicians previously; they’re always trying to chase the same high they experienced listening to the Pianist by any means necessary. The addiction parallels are not suprising.)
I rewatched most of Netzach's lor scenes, and what rlly gets me is that in his first one, he seems almost the exact same as in lobcorp. He doesn't want to work, he got dragged into this against his will, he feels as if his accomplishments are futile.
But! He eventually invites Roland for drinks. He's not drinking to forget alone anymore, he's doing it as social activity. Furthermore, the more time he spends as Patron Librarian of Arts, the more he grows to appreciate art. Art is tied to suffering, still, but it is an expression of suffering. It does not produce any. Or should not, in any case. He sure wishes it wouldn’t.
So we arrive at his Ensemble Reception. This one makes a rather interesting comparison: art as the pursuit of the light. Let me elaborate.
To quote, “Honestly, I wanna tell people to stop doing the kind of art that requires ‘em to immolate themselves and others. Although, on the other hand... I can kinda see where they’re coming from. Art narrows your vision, after all.
You stop caring about the things around you. That’s how most artists seem to act, I think. And so, you indulge in the craft, not realizing that you’re throwing yourself and your surroundings into the fire you started.”
I pose this: Netzach speaks of his experience as Giovanni. Giovanni was a researcher who, when push came to shove, willingly sacrificed himself to advance the project, in hopes of seeing the light, seeing Carmen, again.
Though he dislikes Bremen’s actions, he does not judge them for it, because he recognized that it would be hypocritical. Even so, what shows that he’s grown is that he.. doesn’t want to see people harm themselves anymore. The focus here isn’t if Bremen hurt other people, which they have, but how much of themselves they’ve given up for their performance. He condemns the act, and not the people.
“If I can see that light once more... If I have to muster up the courage to reach it, I’ll gladly do it. It’s easier said than done, though; you need a lot of fearlessness for it.
And I guess you saw the same kind of light I was so desperate to see, yeah? Even if yours was a twisted creature... [...] Though, I don’t think I can tell you off like the others. At least I can see the reason behind it.”
He even explicitly mentions the light. The funny thing is, both Giovanni and Bremen tried to reach the Seed of Light, and Carmen. It’s tragically hilarious that we know Carmen is the voice the Distortions hear.
Hell, the more I think about it, the more you can just compare the Ensemble as a whole to the Outskirts Lab crew, down to Angelica’s puppet body and Carmen’s desecrated corpse.
“And I know pretty well that we have no right to devilishly pick apart each other’s way of art. I’m not very proud of mine, really...”
Netzach just.. gets it. I can’t remember atm, but I don’t think the other Patron Librarians really draw parallels like that. I’m seeing all the parallels now and I can’t unsee them ever. Bro.
His “art,” his way of protecting the light, is still violent. But he sees that perhaps it didn’t have to be, or rather shouldn’t be. I fucking love Netzach so much. His arc just means a lot to me personally, and I’d wager a lot of people who’ve struggled with mental illness would agree.
I’m not gonna get into Netzach’s floor realization here because this post is already long enough, but like, look at the specific flashback of Angela shown in Netzach’s story bits and contrast it to his arc of learning to want to live, and. Yeah.
#Feli gets asked#lobotomy corporation#library of ruina#netzach#NETZACH MY MAN NETZACH.#long post#this took a while to make cuz i got distracted many times by playing video games#also i'm not sorry for the first bit. know it in your heart. i'm right.
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
Sometimes I’ve wondered if the sexualization + hyper feminization of Neil exists because people figure if they write something sexualized about andreil as a duo they could be called gross or fetishizing for sexualizing a gay male CSA victim, so they lean on heteronormative roles to only do that with Neil so they feel less problematic (this is bc of something I found on Twitter that went like ‘objectifying Andrew bad :/ objectifying Neil good ;)’ I just think… you could find a middle ground
whoever that person is on twitter i would like to personally tell them how wrong they are, how does someone go about thinking like that??
(this got long so. i spend most of the time ranting) TLDR: while i think anons suggestion is partly true. the issues surrounding why neils character gets treated this way is a much deeper rooted issue as the evidence suggests and it's a problem that infects all fandom.
anyway, anons idea-
the thing is, even in fics where neil is a csa/sa victim ppl still seem to have little issue making him more feminine and always shove him in the role of the bottom. which is why i think its bs when someone points out how ppl rarely write andreil switching and instead keep the heteronormative top/bottom stereotyped dynamic and then someone defends that by saying ppl are uncomfortable writing an csa/sa victim bottoming. it might be true for some, but when ppl are still insisting neil bottom even when he himself is an csa/sa victim then clearly it goes deeper than discomfort. even when neils history is more extensive or sometimes is even ongoing at time of andreil sleeping together... ppl will go to insane lengths to keep neil as a bottom and i think that says something.
besides, when it comes to ppl being scared of getting called out.. it begs the question: if that's so, then why despite that ppl in this fandom are more frequently called out for making neil hyper feminine and sexualized do the ppl that do this never seem to rlly give a shit for longer than 5 minutes cause this attitude still prevails? these depictions of neil continue? ppl also have no issue sexualizing neils scars... i think it's disgusting really.. people seem to generally feel much more comfortable and unproblematic doing this than they would making andrew bottom or making him more feminine. and it's just... it's insane to me...
even in art where andrew is wearing skirts... they're black and often have chains or belts, andrew still has a apathetic face and still looks intimidating. hes still andrew. neil on the other hand... he's put in pastel coloured skirts and posed to look sexual in nature, and usually given a seductive or bitchy face to match. or he's posed in a cutesy way and is blushing...
if it's fem!art, neil has long hair and more obvious eyelashes. andrew has short hair and more stern looking eyes... if it's not fem!art, andrew has broader shoulders, bigger muscles... a six pack.. where neil has a flat stomach, a small waist, long legs, less broad shoulders and less obvious muscles..
when it comes to this in particular, ppl often say this depiction is due to andrew being a goalkeeper and therefore needing to work on weights more. which is all fine and dandy until you acknowledge that even though kevin and neil are both strikers, kevin is usually drawn much more closer to andrews physique... why? if it's all about the positions, why is this the case? furthermore, ppl usually aruge aaron is buff like andrew cause he's a backliner... NEILS SECONDARY POSITION IS BACKLINER. if people rlly based it all off of exy positions, then neil would be drawn more masculine than kevin. but he's not.
i have no issue with ppl drawing andrew this way, and i love ppl acknowledging that andrew is buff and big but for the love of god.. that doesn't mean neil is fucking fragile and dainty. HES A DUDE. AN ATHLETE. HES GONNA HAVE THE BODY OF ONE. it seems this has honestly turned into just another way to make neil look more feminine...
neils thoughts in the books of "andrew is someone i can lean on and depend on" has somehow turned into "neil likes to be manhandled by big strong hands on small limbs" and i just... i fucking.... i don't even know what to say...
THE MAIN ISSUE. is that there's a culture in fandoms- which are often dominated by women. to put male characters into these dyamics, the top and the bottom, the masculine and the feminine, the dominant and the submissive, the u-🤢 uke and the seme🤢. (i hated myself even as i typed that out). and i doubt this will go away anytime soon, particularly because we do have this idea of letting ppl create/consume and hc what they want- and i do agree!! but i just wish there wasn't such a demand for this type of content.
idk what a middle ground would look like so im not sure if i want that... if that means theres still this type of content but its even for neil and andrew... i don't think i want that. i just wish i could wave a magic wand and eliminate all heteronormativity- which should take the hyper feminization and sexualization along with it. (AND infantilization might i add- someone put this in the tags of my other post and they were so fucking right).
#ask#mine#discourse#theres even more that could be said honestly...#aftg#neil josten#andreil#andrew minyard
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
the gaang (& co.) on zoom
aang: ALWAYS mixes up his class times and it isn’t until sokka helps build his schedule and set reminders on aang's phone that he actually shows up to the right class at the right time, always excited to be there but is constantly getting distracted by the littlest things (doesn’t help that his window is behind his computer), isn’t afraid to tell the teacher when the hw assigned is too much (the whole class thanks him for that), types jokes in the class chat, wears his appa print pajamas to class everyday, motivates people to stay optimistic during these ‘troubling times’ (and it works)
katara: wears sweatpants and a crewneck everyday but NEVER forgets to do her hair, talks shit about the ugly white girls in their class (some are sokka’s exes) with zuko, wants to do pranks with toph but is too scared of getting caught (though she eventually does a few), takes the lead in breakout rooms bc she can’t stand the awkward silence although if aang is there they’ll both be very distracting, will literally laugh on camera every time she hears a stupid comment, gives emotional speeches to help motivate her classmates which are well-intentioned but come off as a little preachy :/ people still try though bc they weirdly don’t want to disappoint her, refuses to let a man interrupt her so she will continue talking even if their voices are overlapping for a good 20 secs
sokka: has an insane amount of reminders, alarms and organizational tools on his phone and computer so he doesn’t forget to go to class, he tries so hard to focus but ends up doing something that’s completely unrelated yet still educational, wears his same dumbass science pun t-shirts to class but he has his hair down more which makes the white girls in his class go crazy, starts all his sentences with ‘i think’ or ‘maybe we should’, tried to be clever once by setting a video on loop for his zoom background so the teacher didnt know he went to the bathroom but forgot to mute himself so the entire class heard him pee :(( his teachers enjoy him more in a zoom setting bc he's less of a distraction but they hate how he never stays on topics and asks questions they dont have the answer to, whenever katara sees him getting increasingly neurotic she’ll send him links to cool small businesses and they’ll ignore their classes n go online shopping together
zuko: always looks tired and grumpy even when he’s well rested, his camera is at 256p even when he has the newest macbook (azula messed w his computer & he still hasn't realized), extremely paranoid around accidentally unmuting himself so he just never talks, cannot figure out zoom and never screen shares for projects bc it takes him 15 mins every. time. is weird in breakout rooms because he's bad at social situations but he's trying!!! he could try harder tho :/ is able to empathize well with his fellow classmates n tries to lift their spirits (it rarely works but the effort feels nice), the teacher once saw him scream and punch his desk during the desmos activity and sent iroh an email about local therapists who specialize in anger management, spends his breaks between classes crying
toph: she will pick her nose, eat food, clip her toenails, do anything gross on camera to get back at her history teacher who told her she needs to be more ladylike, is actually cool in breakout rooms she seems like she would be super distracting but she would complain about the shitty teachers n provide insightful thoughts for the discussion/assignment at hand, does her zoom classes in her backyard so she could play with bugs, gives very helpful advice for maintaining ones sanity during online learning
suki: is always wrapped up in her blankets to the point where u can barely see her face, eats on camera & doesn't realize that no one wants to see that shit, she laughs at all the teachers' bad jokes bc she genuinely thinks they're funny, refuses to let sokka outperform in zoom learning so she does actually pay attention although it doesn't look like it, is really chill in breakout rooms n pretends she doesn't really care but will edit the work after class so it fits her expectations, she once farted in the middle of when she was talking and just pretended like she it didn't happen, actually is fine with online learning and likes the flexibility and doesn’t get why sokka is spiraling all the time ://
azula: oh god, she wears entire outfits with khakis and polos and SHOES!!! for her zoom meetings!!! she. wears. shoes. her hair is always perfect, tries WAY too hard and everyone knows when she wants to speak in class bc she literally starts vibrating on camera, one time someone won a debate against her in class and she turned off her camera for a good 3 minutes, when she turned it back on her eyes were watery and her entire face was red, doesn't understand how people are underperforming over zoom, has the second highest gpa in the school (after sokka) and managed to convince herself he is actively trying to ruin her life but he's just........ sitting there. constantly messes with zuko's google calendar so he's late for class, can clearly see the art of war by sun tzu on her bookshelf in the background
mai: yawns on camera whenever azula talks just to piss her off, doesn't talk often because her teachers & peers underestimate her but she's smart and when she does talk it's always something rlly insightful, one time her and ty lee were paired with jet for a project where he spent the whole time 'explaining' the topics at hand while they did the entire project on another tab and pretended to pay attention to him, tom tom will sometimes join her during class bc he misses her n she acts like she hates it but she does love spending time with him, is actually secretly extremely anxious about maintaining her grades during online learning but only sokka and ty lee can tell, her and sokka gossip through heavily layered inside jokes that only the two of them understand
ty lee: built a completely new daily schedule and organizational system the minute she learned they were switching to zoom, is always ready for class 20 mins before it starts but joins the zoom 2 minutes after class started so no one thinks she’s an overachiever, a great student but she waits too long to speak in class so she barely joins in on the discussions, is seemingly the regular ty lee but every so often she’ll pretend to go to the bathroom & turn off her camera to recollect herself bc she’s always on edge :/, would have the best gpa in the school but doesn’t want to seem intimidating so she purposefully scores lower on certain assignments so she has a 3.75 gpa,
jet: he tries to subtly vape during class by turning off camera his camera but its really obvious bc when he comes back he’s coughing and waving the smoke out the air, only participates in breakout rooms when the teacher comes in and immediately turns off his camera when they leave, staged a kidnapping during one of his lectures as an elaborate prank but no one cared noticed, someone else recorded the prank and posted it on tiktok where it blew up & all the comments were insulting him, he didn’t care though because ‘there’s no such thing as bad clout’
chan & ruon-jian: has not gone to a single one of their zoom classes sober (honestly barely attend), still tried throwing houseparties even when the cases were at their peak, tried to one-up jet's kidnapping prank by calling SWAT on themselves but ended up getting arrested because they forgot to hide their stash (they sell counterfeit juul pods), worst part was that their prank only got 250 views on yt :(
#ik this is pretty late considering it's been a year in quarantine but i made this for ME#the gaang#mai#ty lee#azula#jet#god azula would be SO FUNNY in zoom classes#tag urself im sokka#and sort of suki n mai#sokka and mai#ty lee and mai#my sokka n mai tag is sooo weak its my biggest flaw smh#chan#ruon-jian#didnt feel like tagging everyone but my otp chan-jian deserved the love💗#chan and ruon-jian
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok so nearly everyone in the fandom is doing this and as sad as it is that we need to remind these simple things to people, I feel the need to talk about this too.
I won't make this too painfully long because I know y'all most likely already know this and I just wanna put out a basic list of shit you should always follow in the fandom. But for those who don't, a lot of fan content creators, be it artists or writers or just general fans trying to enjoy their time, have been leaving/quitting the fandom.
Why are they leaving, you ask? Toxicity. Toxicity nearly everywhere. People can't hold respectful debates or discourses on interesting topics regarding characters/the books/ships anymore without someone toxicly stating that only their opinion is correct, and going off on anyone who has different opinions carried with a lot of aggressive, rude and shallow behaviour. Fanartists have gotten death threats and are scared of drawing art for the Riordanverse without getting anxious af.
Now the thing is, having done those (eXcepT for the death threats) doesn't automatically make u an entirely shitty person. Maybe you made a mistake and came off as rude without rlly meaning to. That's okay. Here's how to identify if u ever did so, and to change that behaviour. Again, it's okay to make mistakes, but we rn as a fandom srsly need to try to turn things around.
Some basic shit you should remember being a part of the fandom:
• NO NSFW STUFF WITH MINORS!!! That means fanarts, fanfics etc. But here's the shocking thing- when someone does this, you can actually hold them accountable WITHOUT SENDING DEATH THREATS AND CROSSING THE BOUNDARIES! Cuz doing that only makes YOU stoop just as low. Pl e a s e remember that always and be respectful whatever you do.
• That being said, ppl are allowed to write nsfw stuff IF said characters are aged up, aka 18+. Ofc, it's a must that they put a content warning beforehand because many people may not want to read that. BUT, if you don't want to read it and if they've aged up the characters so nothing's morally wrong or gross, then please do NOT hate the author in the comments, do NOT report their post/account. Seriously dude, they gave warnings, if you don't want to read it just scroll past it's not that hard. Unless it's with minors, you shouldn't be reporting innocent ppl's accounts like that.
• one thing that I've seen a lack of in the fandom are trigger warnings. I've seen several fics whose covers are literally of blood. And entire chapters were written with intricate graphic descriptions yet with no trigger warnings or a tw wayyy down in the caption. you never know what may be triggering to someone if a lot of ppl see ur content but the least u can do is put trigger warnings on the most common stuff. I get that it may look aesthetically matching if it's a murder mystery sorta fic but isn't the well being of people more important?
• look I'm not saying you're not allowed to have opinions, but the problem is when you start treating your opinions like facts. I can't count the times I've seen someone state their opinion like it's facts and then trash on other's for having a different opinion. PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS. Stop attacking people for liking Jason more than Percy or vice versa, there's no rule that you absolutely have to like one or the other, ppl can like who they want. When you're stating UR opinion, it would be nice if you used stuff like "I personally think that..." or "... that's just my opinion" because again, Ur opinion is just that, not a fact.
• if you can't have discourses or discussions about certain topics respectfully and nicely then don't have them. if someone's done nothing wrong but state their opinions and you don't like it, don't go attacking them. if you don't have anything good to say, shut up and just scroll past. it's not that hard. we don't need any more negativity in the fandom. If you feel like you're about to snap, mute or block the account you don't like and move on with life. But for the love of GOD don't go out of your way to be agresive or hateful to ppl. They have feelings too and run fan accounts for fun, not to get upset and hurt.
• when a fan account owner has made a post saying what they think of a certain topic, and you comment saying you think they're wrong and they reply that you didn't get the point of their post, then chances are you most probably actually did not understand what they were saying. when this happens, pls don't go on forcing ur opinion onto them as if you got what they meant when you didn't. Maybe next time when someone says you didn't get what they were saying, ask them nicely to explain it to you instead of going off like that?
• firstly, shame on you if you've ever run a hate account. just why? how much more negativity do you want to add? if you come across a hate account please please report it and block it and tell your friends to do the same. if you're targeted in a hate post, I'm so sorry, please know that they're shallow ppl just trying to make you feel shitty, you're dont have a trashy fan account; what they say is false and done purely to spite. report and block them.
• I know Rick has written a lot of racist bullcrap and hasn't batted an eye when we complained about them, but that still doesn't give you the right to send him death threats. Again, no death threats to anyone, yikes.
• don't use fanart that's racist. don't repost them either. Piper has feathers in it? don't repost it. also if you can't exactly and properly credit artists, don't repost their art saying "credits to the artist". I've done that before too but now I understand that's not right.
• also, while we're at it, can we all please universally agree on non-racist fanon stuff and get rid of racist canon stuff? like Piper and feathers, and piper & hazel with colourful and golden eyes, Piper's stupid not like other girls behaviour, and all the other bullshit Rick has put into the books. We as a fandom don't accept it and pretend they do not exist, no racism in this place 🥰‼️
• ppl are allowed to have their own headcannons, it doesn't matter what's cannon. Don't go "but in the books it's.." because in the books there's a lot of shit, and besides, if someone wants to headcannon Percy as brown? black? totally alright! they're allowed to do so! don't go bUt pErCy iSnT pOc iN tHe bOoKs. same goes with sexualities and etc headcannons. as long as they're not erasing the already representation of a minority, it's okay to have headcannons of your own. Like Hazel is canonically black and we should respect that and bring out the best of that, yk what I mean?
That's all I have to say for now. I'm usually a very light-hearted cursed meme account on here but things are getting out of hand. I was wanting to make my 8 yr old brother get into the Riordanverse fandom but seeing the situation of the fandom rn scares me. We need to think about the kids in the future who'll be in this fandom, whose lives will be changed and shaped by these books. Surely, the older people in the fandom before us would be utterly disappointed at what it's become and it's our job to constantly look out for the fandom.
If you're leaving/have left the fandom, I'm so sorry that it got to that point, but ur wellbeing comes first, do what you feel is necessary to feel better, all of us send lots of positive vibes towards your way! and to the peeps who've still decided to stay in the fandom and use their account to talk about this issue, I cannot express how thankful I am of you for doing such an important thing right now. And to everyone - as Harry Styles once said - treat people with kindness.
#riordanverse#riordan books#riordan universe#rick riordan#percy jackson textpost#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#heroes of olympus#trials of apollo#the kane chronicles#magnus chase#annabeth pjo#annabeth chase#camp half blood#jason grace#leo valdez#piper mclean#hazel levesque#frank zhang#pjo fandom#pjo headcanon#pjo text post#pjo series#pjo adaptation#pjoverse
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Catra works at Burger King pt 3
catradora in ther modern party clothes!
AO3
pt1/2
Catra was currently studying in the library, trying to work her way through a math problem.
Her place didn't have internet, so she usually alternated between the school wifi, the public library, and Burger King. Lonnie usually let her study in the break room when the libraries closed up.
Her phone pings with a message, obviously from Adora.
Catra picks up her phone and unlocks it, eyebrow raising when she sees the message.
Adora:
Wyd?
Catra sighs. Of course that airheaded jock texted like a frat boy. As much as she wanted to leave her on read, a deal was a deal.
Catra:
Studying.
Adora:
So diligent! You're so cool, Catra :)
Adora:
I'm weightlifting right now! Gotta work off all those BK calories 💪
Great, maybe she will leave her alone to go do her workout.
Adora:
[image.attachment]
Catra almost drops her phone when she sees the photo Adora sent. It was a shot of her by the mirror, and she was flexing with a dumbbell. She was wearing a black crop top, which framed her abs perfectly. What was she doing, getting flustered over what, a gym rat photo that looked like it belonged on a Tinder profile? After much gay panic and debate, Catra takes a photo of herself with her middle finger up to the camera. She taps ‘send’ angrily.
Catra:
[image.attachment] 🖕 She doesn't get a response for a few minutes, which was odd. Usually Adora typed back at the speed of lightning.
Ping.
Adora:
wow Ur rlly hot Catra looks at the text, slack jawed. What the hell?
Adora:
Oh my god I am so sorry. That was Glimmer, she took my phone.
Catra could almost scream, but she was in a public library. She settles for furiously chewing her out, sharp nails flying over the keyboard.
Catra:
Plz make Ur excuses more believable. It's so unoriginal I can't even post this on r/OopsDidntMeanTo.
Adora:
I really didn't mean to 🥺
Adora:
I mean
Adora:
Glimmer didn't mean to God, Adora was so stupid. Yet here Catra was, blushing like a fool. When she doesn’t answer for a while, her phone starts pinging again with notifications.
>Adora liked your photo
>Adora liked your status >Adora reacted to your comment >Adora liked your photo
It goes on for another 23 times and Catra scrolls through it, dumbfounded. Unblocking her was a mistake.
----
As promised, Adora would visit her garage when her shifts were over bringing groceries. In exchange Catra would cook, as it seemed like Adora would burn water if she tried.
It started off as a weekly thing, but in a true Adora-like fashion it ended up like this everyday. They would talk for hours, catching up on their lost years together.
Adora talked about all sorts of things, like how hard it was adjusting to the soft beds at first and how she requested a hard one. She told her about the contents of the letters she would send to Catra that never went received. Catra just listened, gratified to hear that Adora missed her in their time apart even half as much as she did.
They would sing the little songs they invented back when they were kids and make up whole new ones as they waited for the food. Adora even started learning how to cook after watching Catra, and she would barge in uninvited with new recipes. The food tasted better with company, and Adora took great pleasure in piling her seconds.
Catra would show her the local dumpster and they would go scavenging for items they needed. She taught her how to repair the things they found using Youtube tutorials, and how to disinfect them. It was fun watching Adora try to haggle for prices at the market, or her face when she realized she had to use the outhouse to go to the bathroom at Catra’s.
Days bleed into months, their easygoing friendship making Catra feel at peace for the first time in forever.
Right now they were currently in their trial exam period, which functioned both as practice for their final exams and half of their final marks. They were sitting in the library, chatting about their future majors.
Catra taps a pencil to her chin. ‘Let me guess, you want to do art. No, art history.’
‘Political science, actually! Did you know Eternia University has the number one ranked Political Science course in the entire country?' Adora says, flipping through the uni coursebook.
'Wao, future leader of the free world huh? That's kinda hot.' Catra teases, while Adora swats her in embarrassment.
'What about you?'
'Double degree of Law and Social Work.' Catra replies. 'Cliche I know. But I just want to be in a position where I can sue the shit out of Shadow Weaver. The system is corrupt, and there's thousands of kids being abused.'
'Wow, you're so cool Catra.' Adora says in awe. 'You're so smart, you'd definitely get in.'
'Damn right.' She scoffs, crossing her arms.
'You're gonna love Eternia. I went to their open day, the campus is gorgeous. Oh my gosh we could dorm together!'
'Gross, who'd want to be your roommate?'
'You would.'
'Ew, you're so full of yourself. Anyway get off me, I have work soon and I need to get changed.'
'Ah yes, the cute Burger King apron. I never get tired of it.'
They would always flirt back and forth like this, but nothing ever came out of it.
With her friendship came the feelings that she had repressed long ago, unknotting and resurfacing like they had never gone at all. However she had no idea if Adora even liked her in that way, given how affectionate she was with Bow and Glimmer. She was popular with boys and girls alike, but she never dated anyone. Catra never dared to ask.
Once Adora had fallen asleep in Catra's bed, and the brunette had woken up to the other girls arm around her and their feet tangled together. It reminded her of when they shared the bed as kids, but now they were grown up and this kind of thing didn't have an innocent meaning anymore. Having her there made her heart race and her palms sweaty.
She had wanted to kiss her then. She wanted to kiss her now. Catra wanted every single morning to end up like that.
--
Adora:
Your birthday is soon! Did you want anything?
You , Catra thinks, like a huge sap.
Catra:
My sanity back.
Adora:
Oh my gosh, we could throw you a party at my place! You’re turning 18 right? We could go out drinking! Angella has this amazing vintage wine collection and I could make cocktails!
Catra receives another wall of text, basically planning the entirety of this birthday party with Bow being the DJ and how Glimmer could make these buns that were to die for. Adora starts going through the entire party guest list until she has to cut in.
Catra:
lol calm down
Adora:
Does this mean Ur on board? 🎉
Catra:
yes fine since you won't shut up about it
Adora:
AAAAAAAH YOU'RE THE BEST!!!!!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️ U WILL NOT REGRET THIS
DW I WILL PLAN EVERYTHING <3333
💗💖💖😻
The excessive amount of heart emojis make Catra grin dumbly into her palm.
She's glad they're not video chatting, or Adora would've already taken a screenshot.
---
It’s the day of her 18th birthday, and she’s nearing the end of her shift. The best friend squad were waiting for her at their usual table so they could give her a ride.
‘Hey Catra. Can I speak to you out back?’ Lonnie asks, gesturing outside.
What the heck, did she do something wrong? It’s been pretty peaceful as of late, and Catra tries to remember if she had done anything to Kyle recently. She nods, chucking her apron at the back as she tries not to notice Adora’s eyes following her.
Catra goes out to the back of the store, the night air nipping at her shoulders. Lonnie waits for her there, biting her lip.
‘What’s up? Don’t tell me you’re giving me a raise.’ Catra jokes.
Lonnie looks conflicted, and she takes a big breath.
‘I’m sorry but our store isn’t doing so well. I know you’re turning 18, and that means we can’t afford to keep you on anymore.’
‘What…?’
Catra felt numb, like she wasn’t really there in the back alley with Lonnie. It felt like an out of body experience. She could only stare at her, betrayed.
Like Lonnie could read her mind, she tries to correct herself. ‘It wasn’t my decision, it was Octavia’s.’
Of course it was. Her regional manager was the reason she could never just swipe food while she was working. Octavia never liked her, she always reviewed the security cameras and told her off for goofing around. She must’ve known the door incident was on Catra’s shift, and what really happened despite Adora’s cover up. This ‘layoff’ was just an excuse to get rid of her from a financial standpoint.
‘Thank you for all your hard work over these past 3 years. I know you’re going through a rough time, so we will of course give you a recommendation.’
Catra just nods.
She returns to her shift, robotically going through the motions. Catra doesn’t even say anything sassy when Adora asks for a burger with no patty and no onions and no sauce, only cheese on bread.
The lack of a clever comeback to their gag routine has Adora concerned. ‘Are you okay?’
Of course she wasn’t. How could she be? She was going to have to vacate her garage space, not like she had anywhere to put her furniture in. What the hell was she going to do?
‘I’m fine.’ She says, even though tears were threatening to burn a hole in the back of her eyelids. ‘Just...rough day.’
‘It’s your birthday! The party will cheer you up.’ Bow says brightly. ‘I have the sickest playlist of all time, you're gonna love it.'
'My mum isn’t home so we have free reign over the entire house! Come on girl, let's get you changed!' Glimmer crows, too excited about the party to pick up on Catra's mood. 'Makeover time!!'
The two of them force her into Glimmer's Mercedes, on their way to buy every alcohol imaginable from the bottle shop before they go to her house.
The last thing Catra wanted to do was play dress up or even go to her party, but Adora had planned for so long for this. It would definitely ruin the entire night if she refused to go.
Out of all the times they had hung out, she’s never been to Adora’s house. She leans her head against the window when they drive into the fancy part of town, by the lakeside with the multi-million dollar yachts parked in the water.
That still doesn't prepare Catra for when security lets them in through the black gates to the biggest mansion she’s ever seen. There were fountains, perfectly manicured lawns, a tennis court, and was that a helicopter pad?!
It was incredible, she had only seen this kind of luxury in the movies. So Glimmer was rich , rich. No wonder she was put out that Adora had her 18th birthday at Burger King.
Catra looks at Adora with a dumbfounded expression as the attendants let them in, and the blonde looks almost embarrassed when they have to get into an elevator to go to her room.
Glimmer picks out a hybrid of clothes from her and Adora's closets. The walk-in wardrobe is huge, like a department store full of designer clothes, shoes, jewellery and bags.
Her wardrobe alone is the size of Catra's home. The brunette suddenly understands why Adora cried upon seeing her concrete garage space. Looking at it, she wanted to cry too.
Glimmer sets her down on her huge poster bed as she brings out a checkered crop top, ripped black garter shorts and an expensive looking black leather jacket with a gold trim. While Catra reluctantly gets changed, Glimmer picks out a pair of black strappy heeled boots and a hair straightener to battle the bush on Catra’s head.
She sits still while Glimmer goes to work on her face, bringing out an entire Sephora’s worth of makeup. When Catra looks in the vanity mirror, she almost doesn’t recognize herself. Her eyes were framed with false eyelashes, a swooping cateye, smokey eyeshadow, sharp contour and her lips were now cherry red with bold lipstick. Glimmer applies the finishing touches with silver rings and clip on piercings.
She hears Adora inhale with shock from the staircase in her bedroom.
‘Catra you look incredible !’ She gasps. Adora was wearing this cute backless white dress tied with strings, short enough that it cropped above her knees. She was wearing sparkly wedges to go with it, and her hair was curled instead of her usual ponytail. Her delicate gold sword necklace frames her collarbones.
Catra’s throat goes dry. ‘Uh- You too.’
Glimmer smirks, satisfied with her work. She gets changed into her own outfit, a short purple tulle lace dress with a white fur trim and a cute Gucci clutch to accompany it. The pink haired girl spritzes them all with her various floral and sea spray scented perfumes before they head back downstairs.
‘Wow you guys look amazing!’ Scorpia marvels, and Adora’s friends voice their approval as well.
‘Gosh this place is crazy.’ Scorpia whispers to Catra. ‘Did you see their pool? We should’ve just held the swimming carnival here!’
Catra opens her mouth to tell her how Lonnie had let her go, but Sea Hawk’s booming voice interrupts them.
'I challenge you to the ultimate game of BEER PONG!' Sea Hawk announces, spinning the ball on his fingertips.
Of course this gets everyone's competitive spirit going, and everyone gets into pairs.
After a few drinks Catra has almost forgotten what she was worrying about earlier, too focused on the buzz. Her and Adora demolish the other teams by a landslide with their impeccable aim.
Soon the attendants came out with dinner, and it was lavish with every food you could imagine. Lobster, kobe beef, hor d'oeuvres, beluga caviar, kale, and opulent ice cream were all among the plates of food on the table. They bring out a massive 3 tiered truffle cake, the words 'Happy Birthday' written with an oddly crude drawing of Catra.
'You drew this?' She asks, and Adora nods happily. 'You worked so hard on mine, so.' Catra doesn’t have the heart to tell her that the cake was $7 and the drawing of her forehead was meant as an insult. They sing the birthday song for her, and this time no one brings up the cake cutting tradition.
After dinner they sit outside in the garden around the bonfire Sea Hawk had made. He was drunkenly singing a loud shanty while Bow piled in the wood, fanning the flames. Frosta sips on a mocktail, the only one there who wasn’t old enough to drink yet. The fire flickers and dances, casting shadows around them.
Catra downs a few more cocktails and jello shots as she waits for Mermista to light up some fireworks. Apparently it was illegal, but Mermista just waved her off, telling her that she’ll just pay the penalty fee as Catra’s birthday gift. Sea Hawk really did rub off on her.
When she successfully sets them off they light up the sky in dazzling multicoloured sparks. Adora’s friends whoop with glee, taking photos and videos to commemorate the moment.
Adora's side profile is lit up in the dark, and she looks impossibly beautiful among the backdrop of stars. Longing tears at her chest, Catra wants to hold her hand but her throat feels too tight and she can’t move. The truth was that she knew she had always had feelings for Adora, even back when they were just kids back in the foster home. But like a coward, she could never voice them for fear of Adora leaving her side.
A loud neighing can be heard from the stables in response to the loud booming noises from the fireworks.
'Swifty!' Adora says, standing up. The moment's breaks and Catra reels back her hand. 'Stay here, I'll be right back.'
Her chance disappears, she couldn’t say it after all. She watches her go tend to her horse, feeling stupid.
‘Yoohoo~, want a rematch?’ Sea Hawk calls out from the patio, pouring vodka into tiny glasses.
‘Don’t mind if I do.’ Catra replies. She definitely didn’t know her alcohol tolerance levels yet, so it was the perfect time to take that to the test.
Catra confidently does a whole line of shots, determined to drink herself into unconsciousness. Every time she sees a flash of Lonnie or Adora’s face in her mind, she takes another swig. Everyone is cheering her on, screaming the song ‘Shots’ over and over again, also all drunk out of their minds. Sea Hawk taps out at the 5th drink, and everyone screams at Catra’s flawless victory. Scorpia lifts her into the air to do a victory lap, cheering.
Adora finally makes an appearance, alerted by the sound of Catra's shrieky laughter as Scorpia swings her around.
‘Don’t worry, I can take it from here.’ Her school captain says pulling Catra away from her friend. Scorpia just shrugs and makes her way to the food table. ‘Catra, maybe you should slow down.’ Adora tells the giggling girl in her arms.
‘Noo way.’ She slurs, she was enjoying the feeling too much, the alcohol burning through her body, making her feel lightheaded. The light up disco dancefloor starts to blur into a kaleidoscope of colours.
‘You got some weed?’ Catra asks, seeing Perfuma light a bowl. The taller girl hands her an already rolled up one and Catra snatches it to take a long drag. The smoke hits her lungs and she starts coughing.
‘Oi Perfuma, why did you bring drugs? Angella will kill me!' Adora gripes, trying to wrestle the blunt away from Catra.
‘Aw don't be like that! I made some edibles for you guys to try.’ Perfuma says cheerfully, pointing to the pot brownies.
‘See? Scorpia likes them.’ She gestures at the other girl, who seemed to be currently tripping out of her mind and eating everything on the table.
Catra goes to reach for one, but Adora grabs her by the wrist to lead her back inside. 'Alright, you're done for the night. Everyone say bye!'
‘Byee Catra!’
‘Happy birthday!!’
Adora grabs her by the waist to lead her to her bedroom, Catra wobbling after her in the heels Glimmer lent her.
'Ugh Adoraaa, don't be such a party pooper. I'm fine.' She moans, leaning heavily on the other girl. 'Don't you have a shift tomorrow afternoon? I don't want you getting hungover or drug tested.' Adora chides, rummaging around the dark for the light switch.
Catra snorts. 'Oh you don't have to worry about that anymore. Got laid off.'
Adora looks at her in confusion, until realization dawns on her. 'Wait, is that why Lonnie took you outside?'
'Say, I never got to give you your birthday gift.' Catra pushes her hair back, voice sultry as she flings off her jacket. She never pinned herself down as a horny drunk, but here they were. Catra shoves Adora onto the bed, straddling her. Her golden hair spills over the mattress, soft like spun silk.
'You still want that kiss?' Catra whispers in Adora's now burning red ear. 'My knife touched the bottom.'
Adora's face now resembled a fire truck, mouth gaping in shock.
'C-Catra, I…'
Catra presses their lips together, silencing her. She knows she probably tastes like alcohol and weed right now, but she couldn't care less in the moment. Adora's mouth is still slack jawed from mortification, so she takes the opportunity for tongue. She frowns and moves down to her neck when Adora doesn’t return the kiss.
'Catra, what are you doing-'
Catra bites down on Adora's nape. The blonde underneath her lets out a soft gasp, arching her back. Her gold manicured nails dig into her shoulder.
'Stop, you're not thinking straight-!'
'Sure ain't.' Catra grins, licking a stripe down the base of her neck. Adora’s necklace chain jingles with the movement. There was now an impressive hickey there, blooming violet on her pale skin. She pauses to admire her handiwork.
'This isn't you talking, you'll, you'll regret this in the morning.' Adora stutters. She's shivering, their hands now laced together, silver rings clanking.
'I know. I don't care.' She replies, kissing her again. Adora's teeth nick her lip. The alcohol in her system makes her feel lightheaded, confident. No way would she have managed this sober. Adora tastes better than she does, sweet like blueberry soju. Catra's hands wander down further, pulling the strings to untie the back of her dress-
'Catra stop!' Adora suddenly shouts, striking Catra across the cheek in a deafening slap .
Adora's eyes were blazing, almost teary in the dark. Her breathing was irregular, panting in and out. Catra stills, clutching her cheek. The look in her eyes sobered her immediately.
Adora looks down at her palm, realizing what she just did. 'Sorry for hitting you!' She flounders. 'It's just that, you're only doing this because you’re drunk and upset, right?’
Catra just stares at her before climbing off. Cold realization settles as the fog in her brain clears. 'You're right. Forget it.'
She sits on the edge of the bed, numbly watching Adora hurriedly trying to re-tie the back of her now wrinkled dress. Her lips are stained with Catra’s red lipstick. Adora catches her looking, and she quickly turns away to smooth down her hair with her fingers. 'You've had more than enough to drink tonight. I’ll get you some water to clear your head.’
She gets up to turn on the light switch, and Catra blinks in the harsh light from the chandeliers. ‘Come on, let’s get you sobered up, okay?’ Adora leads her to the kitchen on the same floor, gingerly placing her friend on the slippery bar stool.
The blonde goes to get the chilled jug of infused water from the fridge and pours it into a glass. Adora slides it across the island, and Catra reluctantly takes it. She sips at it, mint and lemon on her tongue. It tasted way better than her hose water.
‘I’ll uh, pick out some groceries for you since we’re here and all.’ Adora says awkwardly into the silence, turning around to rummage through her pantry.
Suddenly Catra is brought back to the whole reason why she was sitting here in this oversized mansion in the first place. Their friendship agreement. The one she had just violated. Catra had never felt more stupid to mistake Adora’s kindness and guilt for actual feelings. She felt like a charity case, waiting to collect food from the soup kitchen.
Of course Adora didn't like her back. She just saw her as someone needing to be saved. The product of survival guilt. Catra wanted to whack her head on the corner of her marbled countertop and not wake up.
Adora takes out a green plastic bag, and starts filling it with everything and anything she can get. Cans, pasta, biscuits, fruits and vegetables. Actually this feeling was more like being one of those poor kids that white girls would pose next to for their Instagram after their trip to Africa. Did Adora have fun, volunteering to slum it up in her place while she returned here? All she ever wanted her entire life was to be Adora’s equal.
Scorpia and Sea Hawk's loud laughter and DJ music can be heard downstairs in the garden, beyond the tall golden trimmed windows. The class difference between them stretched like an unfathomable canyon. Living the classy bougie dream until the clock struck midnight and she was back in her run down garage. Except soon she won’t even have that anymore. Why did Adora have to bring her here? It was almost cruel.
Catra's suddenly overcome with the urge to vomit. She nearly falls off the high chair in her rush to throw up the unholy cocktail of alcohol into the sink. Tears bead in her eyes from the sour taste as she continues to vomit out everything she ate that night. She can feel Adora by her side, patting her back reassuringly.
It was by far the worst birthday she has ever had.
--
The morning of, Catra woke up in Adora’s bed with a splitting headache.
Unfortunately she was not given the gift of amnesia, as she vividly remembered every last excruciating detail about last night.
She spots Adora’s mop of blonde hair under a blanket on the floor, even though there were a billion other free spare rooms to sleep in. Adora was probably too afraid to share the same bed as her now.
Catra’s borrowed crop top digs uncomfortably into her skin, and she angrily flings it off her body. The shorts stick to her like a second skin, smelling of tequila. She grabs her old Burger King uniform and puts it on, though even this didn’t belong to her now.
Adora shifts in her sleep, and Catra lightly steps over her to get to the door. The last thing she wanted was for Adora to wake up.
As soon as she’s out, she runs out to the elevator and bangs frantically on the buttons until it sends her to the bottom floor. The lift opens with a ding and in her haste she almost crashes headfirst into Glimmer.
‘Oh hey! Are you going to work?’ Glimmer greets. She was in her silk pajamas and slippers, holding a glass of orange juice.
‘Uh. Yeah.’ Catra lies, trying her best to look natural.
‘Some party last night huh? Lucky today is a Saturday.’ Glimmer says conversationally, unaware of Catra’s urge to throw her across the room. ‘Hey, what happened to your cheek?’
Catra clutches her face, it still strung from where Adora struck her. ‘Nothing.’
Glimmer raises an eyebrow. ‘Well anyway, did you wanna stick around for breakfast? The cooks made pancakes, bacon, eggs, the whole deal.' She peeks behind Catra. 'Is Adora still not up yet?’
As much as Catra wanted to scream get out of my way she schools her expression to her best customer service smile. ‘Nope she’s still sleeping it off. Anyway I’m gonna be late so I can’t stick around.’
‘Did you need a lift?’ Glimmer asks. It dawns on the brunette she couldn’t exactly run the entire way back home. ‘I’ll ask one of the drivers to take you back so you make it to your shift.’
Catra thanks her lucky stars that Glimmer was still too hungover to drive her. She wouldn’t have been able to dodge her questions if she had.
‘Yes please.’ Catra says, giddy with relief. ‘Thank you.’
‘Ooh and before I forget, Adora told me last night to give you this.’ Glimmer says, grabbing the green bag of groceries off the counter. The shorter girl bundles it into Catra’s arms before she can object.
‘Get home safe.’ She says, waving as the attendant leads her out the door.
Catra looks down at the cans of food in her arms and doesn’t say anything.
------
The days leading up to graduation were painful, to say the least.
They more or less pretend the kiss didn't happen. Adora never brings it up, and neither does Catra.
She would stare at the ceiling, wishing she had never gotten piss drunk at her birthday and kissed her. Adora was right, she did regret it. It was awful, the look on Adora's face when she slapped Catra replays in her mind and nightmares over and over again. It was mortifying.
Adora still messages her every 3 days, and Catra still replies, though her words are empty and devoid of banter. I'm worried about you, she says. I'm fine , Catra always responds.
The brunette continues to humour her to keep the peace, only shutting down when her old job was mentioned. Catra doesn’t allow Adora back into her home again.
Sometimes they study together, but she can't concentrate when Adora wears her glasses. Her heart hurts, so she cradles her cheek and tries not to remember.
The hickey she had branded Adora's neck with had been covered with foundation until it faded away. None of her friends had teased her about it, so she clearly had not told a single soul what had happened.
Catra bites at the scab on her lip from where Adora’s teeth nicked her until it bleeds. She wants to apologize, but the words stick on her tongue and she can't bring herself to talk about that night.
Catra knew Adora was only here by her side to alleviate her guilt. Shame buries itself under her skin every time she's near her, like she was too embarrassed to even exist in the same space as Adora. She wants to disappear.
Exams are hard, and without an internet connection after the library closes at 6pm made it difficult to study. In her heart she knew she wasn't going to come out on top. Her ranking had slipped, she wasn't even at second place anymore. Rent was due at the end of the month, and without her Burger King wage she knew she'll be kicked out sooner than later.
Catra felt stressed and self destructive, and the only thing that kept her from falling off the edge completely was Scorpia. As much as she hated depending on others, she'd much rather her old coworker than Adora.
Her classmates seemed to like this new, muted down version of Catra who didn't argue and just stayed quiet most of the time. Fighting back was too difficult when all she wanted to do was blend into the wallpaper. All they talked about was where they were going for vacation after graduation, and Catra certainly had nothing to contribute to that conversation.
She felt like crying, all the time. It was agony, wanting to burst out into tears randomly while she sat wasting away in the student council room. Despite herself, she missed Burger King, and she just kept getting ghosted or rejected in her other job applications. Sometimes when she really wanted to indulge herself, she'd go cry silently in the school toilet stall.
Glimmer notices the change, and she catches her glaring. 'You don't seem as alive lately. Your eye bags are huge.'
'S'fine.' Catra replies, hiding her hands so she doesn't see how they shake. Honestly Catra couldn't remember the last time she slept.
'Pfft, don't lie to me. Adora's worried about you. You're getting skinnier, and your eyes are always raw. All you do is stare into space.'
Catra bites down on her nails. Of course she knew that. But she's gone through this before, and she'll do it again.
'What happened between you two?’
‘None of your business.’ Catra replies, shuffling her way to the hall.
--
Their graduation ceremony starts off uneventfully. Every student’s parents except Catra’s sit proudly in the audience, eager to watch their kid graduate. One by one they receive their certificate and return to their seats.
Adora and Catra stand side by side onstage, as Adora makes their final speech as School Captain. Through the blinding lights, she sees Angella waving proudly at her adoptive daughter in the crowd.
Catra looks at Adora in the corner of her eye. She must look pathetic, lovesick and pining after someone she couldn’t have.
‘It’s been such an honour serving the entire faculty and students of this school. I couldn’t have done it without my amazing Vice-Captain and all of my prefects. Now I’m proud to hand over my badge to the next School Captain, Frosta.’
They go through the rest of the ceremony like that, each member of the student council handing their badges to their successors.
Soon their Principal comes up to the podium, tapping it once and clearing her throat.
‘Announcing our honor student, and the winner of the scholarship to Eternia University…’ Castaspella says, turning over the sign card.
‘None other than our school captain, Adora!’
Everyone starts clapping, and Adora walks across the stage to shake Castaspella's hand.
Sounded about right. Catra never won against Adora in her entire life. She had already expected this outcome. Like a game of cat and mouse, going over and over for all eternity.
Adora would excel with her elite education and secure a well paying job. Catra would struggle at the bottom indefinitely, never amounting to anything. She never would, if Adora was still there next to her. When the blonde re-entered her life, everything she had been working towards for years just collapsed. Her job, her home, her School Captain status, her chance at the scholarship, her sanity.
She had to be wiped clean. A fresh start.
The flower petals were falling, the streets decorated with a vibrant pink. The other students mill out of the crowd with their parents, chatting excitedly about what was next in their futures. She waits for Adora underneath a tree.
'Congratulations.' Catra says, when she finally spots the other girl in the crowd. Adora pulls away from Angella’s embrace to meet her.
'You deserve this so much more than I do.' Adora says, her voice pained like she didn't just win a full ride to her dream university. 'You should take it.'
'It's in your name, silly.' Catra replies, lightly tapping her with her rolled up certificate.
'Besides, I knew you'd get into Eternia, so I never applied.'
Adora blinks dumbly. '...What? Aren’t we going to the same university?’
She always was a bit slow on the uptake. ‘Only you decided that, stuupid. Say, it's about time we ended this right?'
‘Catra, what are you...'
'Our deal. You don't need to feel guilty anymore or bring me anything.' Catra says, her voice sounding like it didn't belong to her. She rummages in her bag, bringing out Adora's spare varsity jacket that she hadn’t returned. 'Here, take this. Thank you for all the help.'
'What do you mean? You want to stop being friends?' Adora says in disbelief, taking the jacket.
Catra nods. ‘I can’t continue with the arrangement. I hope you understand.’
‘I don’t! Was I the only one who thought we were friends, real ones?’ Adora asks.
‘...That’s right. I never saw you as a friend. You were just a meal ticket to me. Are you happy now?’ Catra snaps back. Shit, that wasn’t what she meant to say. She had planned to end this quickly and painlessly, on a high note. Trust Adora to put up a fight.
Something seems to click in Adora’s brain. ‘Is this about the night of the party?’
‘Figure that out yourself.’ Catra replies, turning to walk away.
Adora grabs onto her arm. ‘Wait! If- if that’s what you want, I’ll give it! Just don't go!'
This dumb blonde really was offering up her body, out of what? A sense of duty? How stupid.
‘Is that right?’ Catra says, walking closer to her. Adora backs up until she is pinned to the tree. They’re face to face now.
‘Can you really do this?’ Catra lifts Adora’s chin by a finger.
Finally it seems to dawn on Adora exactly what Catra wanted. She swallows, biting her lip.
There’s a flicker of hesitation, before Adora’s eyes squeeze shut defiantly. The blonde is shaking like a leaf, her breath coming out in panicked stutters from her pursed lips.
Catra just stares at Adora’s scrunched up face impassively. Her scared reaction was the only confirmation she needed for closure.
She flicks the other girl’s forehead, and her big blue eyes open in confusion. ‘Chill out, I’m not that evil to do it to someone so unwilling.’
Adora blinks, clutching her forehead. ‘Catra?’
Suddenly Angella’s voice cuts through their conversation from the car park. ‘Adora dear, are you done chatting with your friend? We have reservations!'
‘Um, I…’ Her old school captain opens her mouth to say something, but Angella's started to lose her patience. 'Adora, how long are you going to stand there? Glimmer is already waiting for us at the restaurant!'
Catra just smiles tiredly. ‘Take care, dummy.’
She watches Adora being dragged off unwillingly by her adoptive mother to the car.
Catra lets out a sigh. Her phone pings with a message from Scorpia, and she knows it's time to go.
---
By the time Angella releases her from their graduation celebration, Adora can feel that it's already too late.
Adora:
Please, can we talk? Let me fix this
A pop up appears over the screen.
Message Not Sent
This person isn't receiving messages at this time.
Adora sends another message, but they all go undelivered. Catra had blocked her again. Panic spikes through her veins, and she quickly dons on a jacket and grabs her car keys.
She sneaks out that night, down the familiar winding path through the bush that led to Catra's place.
'Catra?' She rolls up the garage door, blinking in the darkness. When her eyes adjusted, she found Catra's old home completely emptied.
All the furniture and items her friend had collected over the years, they were all gone. The little stove where they cooked, the old mattress where they talked late into the night, all vanished like they were never there.
A single green plastic bag remained on the floor untouched, filled to the brim of food.
catra working at BK fanart:
https://twitter.com/huetrooper/status/1265188930741080064
https://twitter.com/quackelroys/status/1271199987540668416?s=20
https://mcatra.tumblr.com/post/620493235561824256/your-catra-works-at-burger-king-fic-is-great-you
pt1, pt 2
Catra was currently studying in the library, trying to work her way through a math problem.
Her place didn't have internet, so she usually alternated between the school wifi, the public library, and Burger King. Lonnie usually let her study in the break room when the libraries closed up.
Her phone pings with a message, obviously from Adora.
Catra picks up her phone and unlocks it, eyebrow raising when she sees the message.
Adora:
Wyd?
Catra sighs. Of course that airheaded jock texted like a frat boy. As much as she wanted to leave her on read, a deal was a deal.
Catra:
Studying.
Adora:
So diligent! You're so cool, Catra :)
Adora:
I'm weightlifting right now! Gotta work off all those BK calories 💪
Great, maybe she will leave her alone to go do her workout.
Adora:
[image.attachment]
Catra almost drops her phone when she sees the photo Adora sent. It was a shot of her by the mirror, and she was flexing with a dumbbell. She was wearing a black crop top, which framed her abs perfectly.
What was she doing, getting flustered over what, a gym rat photo that looked like it belonged on a Tinder profile?
After much gay panic and debate, Catra takes a photo of herself with her middle finger up to the camera. She taps ‘send’ angrily.
Catra:
[image.attachment] 🖕
She doesn't get a response for a few minutes, which was odd. Usually Adora typed back at the speed of lightning.
Ping.
Adora:
wow Ur rlly hot
Catra looks at the text, slack jawed. What the hell?
Adora:
Oh my god I am so sorry. That was Glimmer, she took my phone.
Catra could almost scream, but she was in a public library. She settles for furiously chewing her out, sharp nails flying over the keyboard.
Catra:
Plz make Ur excuses more believable. It's so unoriginal I can't even post this on r/OopsDidntMeanTo.
Adora:
I really didn't mean to 🥺
Adora:
I mean
Adora:
Glimmer didn't mean to
God, Adora was so stupid. Yet here Catra was, blushing like a fool. When she doesn’t answer for a while, her phone starts pinging again with notifications.
>Adora liked your photo
>Adora liked your status >Adora reacted to your comment >Adora liked your photo
It goes on for another 23 times and Catra scrolls through it, dumbfounded. Unblocking her was a mistake.
----
As promised, Adora would visit her garage when her shifts were over bringing groceries. In exchange Catra would cook, as it seemed like Adora would burn water if she tried.
It started off as a weekly thing, but in a true Adora-like fashion it ended up like this everyday. They would talk for hours, catching up on their lost years together.
Adora talked about all sorts of things, like how hard it was adjusting to the soft beds at first and how she requested a hard one. She told her about the contents of the letters she would send to Catra that never went received. Catra just listened, gratified to hear that Adora missed her in their time apart even half as much as she did.
They would sing the little songs they invented back when they were kids and make up whole new ones as they waited for the food. Adora even started learning how to cook after watching Catra, and she would barge in uninvited with new recipes. The food tasted better with company, and Adora took great pleasure in piling her seconds.
Catra would show her the local dumpster and they would go scavenging for items they needed. She taught her how to repair the things they found using Youtube tutorials, and how to disinfect them. It was fun watching Adora try to haggle for prices at the market, or her face when she realized she had to use the outhouse to go to the bathroom at Catra’s.
Days bleed into months, their easygoing friendship making Catra feel at peace for the first time in forever.
Right now they were currently in their trial exam period, which functioned both as practice for their final exams and half of their final marks. They were sitting in the library, chatting about their future majors.
Catra taps a pencil to her chin. ‘Let me guess, you want to do art. No, art history.’
‘Political science, actually! Did you know Eternia University has the number one ranked Political Science course in the entire country?' Adora says, flipping through the uni coursebook.
'Wao, future leader of the free world huh? That's kinda hot.' Catra teases, while Adora swats her in embarrassment.
'What about you?'
'Double degree of Law and Social Work.' Catra replies. 'Cliche I know. But I just want to be in a position where I can sue the shit out of Shadow Weaver. The system is corrupt, and there's thousands of kids being abused.'
'Wow, you're so cool Catra.' Adora says in awe. 'You're so smart, you'd definitely get in.'
'Damn right.' She scoffs, crossing her arms.
'You're gonna love Eternia. I went to their open day, the campus is gorgeous. Oh my gosh we could dorm together!'
'Gross, who'd want to be your roommate?'
'You would.'
'Ew, you're so full of yourself. Anyway get off me, I have work soon and I need to get changed.'
'Ah yes, the cute Burger King apron. I never get tired of it.'
They would always flirt back and forth like this, but nothing ever came out of it.
With her friendship came the feelings that she had repressed long ago, unknotting and resurfacing like they had never gone at all. However she had no idea if Adora even liked her in that way, given how affectionate she was with Bow and Glimmer. She was popular with boys and girls alike, but she never dated anyone. Catra never dared to ask.
Once Adora had fallen asleep in Catra's bed, and the brunette had woken up to the other girls arm around her and their feet tangled together. It reminded her of when they shared the bed as kids, but now they were grown up and this kind of thing didn't have an innocent meaning anymore. Having her there made her heart race and her palms sweaty.
She had wanted to kiss her then. She wanted to kiss her now. Catra wanted every single morning to end up like that.
--
Adora:
Your birthday is soon! Did you want anything?
You, Catra thinks, like a huge sap.
Catra:
My sanity back.
Adora:
Oh my gosh, we could throw you a party at my place! You’re turning 18 right? We could go out drinking! Angella has this amazing vintage wine collection and I could make cocktails!
Catra receives another wall of text, basically planning the entirety of this birthday party with Bow being the DJ and how Glimmer could make these buns that were to die for. Adora starts going through the entire party guest list until she has to cut in.
Catra:
lol calm down
Adora:
Does this mean Ur on board? 🎉
Catra:
yes fine since you won't shut up about it
Adora:
AAAAAAAH YOU'RE THE BEST!!!!!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️ U WILL NOT REGRET THIS
DW I WILL PLAN EVERYTHING <3333
💗💖💖😻
The excessive amount of heart emojis make Catra grin dumbly into her palm.
She's glad they're not video chatting, or Adora would've already taken a screenshot.
---
It’s the day of her 18th birthday, and she’s nearing the end of her shift. The best friend squad were waiting for her at their usual table so they could give her a ride.
‘Hey Catra. Can I speak to you out back?’ Lonnie asks, gesturing outside.
What the heck, did she do something wrong? It’s been pretty peaceful as of late, and Catra tries to remember if she had done anything to Kyle recently. She nods, chucking her apron at the back as she tries not to notice Adora’s eyes following her.
Catra goes out to the back of the store, the night air nipping at her shoulders. Lonnie waits for her there, biting her lip.
‘What’s up? Don’t tell me you’re giving me a raise.’ Catra jokes.
Lonnie looks conflicted, and she takes a big breath.
‘I’m sorry but our store isn’t doing so well. I know you’re turning 18, and that means we can’t afford to keep you on anymore.’
‘What…’
Catra felt numb, like she wasn’t really there in the back alley with Lonnie. It felt like an out of body experience. She could only stare at her, betrayed.
Like Lonnie could read her mind, she tries to correct herself. ‘It wasn’t my decision, it was Octavia’s.’
Of course it was. Her regional manager was the reason she could never just swipe food while she was working. Octavia never liked her, she always reviewed the security cameras and told her off for goofing around. She must’ve known the door incident was on Catra’s shift, and what really happened despite Adora’s cover up. This ‘layoff’ was just an excuse to get rid of her from a financial standpoint.
‘Thank you for all your hard work over these past 3 years. I know you’re going through a rough time, so we will of course give you a recommendation.’
Catra just nods.
She returns to her shift, robotically going through the motions. Catra doesn’t even say anything sassy when Adora asks for a burger with no patty and no onions and no sauce, only cheese on bread.
The lack of a clever comeback to their gag routine has Adora concerned. ‘Are you okay?’
Of course she wasn’t. How could she be? She was going to have to vacate her garage space, not like she had anywhere to put her furniture in. What the hell was she going to do?
‘I’m fine.’ She says, even though tears were threatening to burn a hole in the back of her eyelids. ‘Just...rough day.’
‘It’s your birthday! The party will cheer you up.’ Bow says brightly. ‘I have the sickest playlist of all time, you're gonna love it.'
'My mum isn’t home so we have free reign over the entire house! Come on girl, let's get you changed!' Glimmer crows, too excited about the party to pick up on Catra's mood. 'Makeover time!!'
The two of them force her into Glimmer's Mercedes, on their way to buy every alcohol imaginable from the bottle shop before they go to her house.
The last thing Catra wanted to do was play dress up or even go to her party, but Adora had planned for so long for this. It would definitely ruin the entire night if she refused to go.
Out of all the times they had hung out, she’s never been to Adora’s house. She leans her head against the window when they drive into the fancy part of town, by the lakeside with the multi-million dollar yachts parked in the water.
That still doesn't prepare Catra for when security lets them in through the black gates to the biggest mansion she’s ever seen. There were fountains, perfectly manicured lawns, a tennis court, and was that a helicopter pad?!
It was incredible, Catra could only walk in a daze with her jaw dropped on their polished marble floors. So Glimmer was rich, rich. No wonder she was put out that Adora had her 18th birthday at Burger King.
Catra looks at Adora with a dumbfounded expression, and the blonde looks almost embarrassed when they have to get into an elevator to go to her room.
Glimmer picks out a hybrid of clothes from her and Adora's closets. The walk-in wardrobe is huge, like a department store full of designer clothes, shoes, jewellery and bags.
Her wardrobe alone is the size of Catra's home. The brunette suddenly understands why Adora cried upon seeing her concrete garage space. Looking at it, she wanted to cry too.
Glimmer sets her down on her huge poster bed as she brings out a checkered crop top, ripped black garter shorts and an expensive looking black leather jacket with a gold trim. While Catra reluctantly gets changed, Glimmer picks out a pair of black strappy heeled boots and a hair straightener to battle the bush on Catra’s head.
She sits still while Glimmer goes to work on her face, bringing out an entire Sephora’s worth of makeup. When Catra looks in the vanity mirror, she almost doesn’t recognize herself. Her eyes were framed with false eyelashes, a swooping cateye, smokey eyeshadow, sharp contour and her lips were now cherry red with bold lipstick. Glimmer applies the finishing touches with silver rings and clip on piercings.
She hears Adora inhale with shock from the staircase in her bedroom.
‘Catra you look incredible!’ She gasps. Adora was wearing this cute backless white dress tied with strings, short enough that it cropped above her knees. She was wearing sparkly wedges to go with it, and her hair was curled instead of her usual ponytail. Her delicate gold sword necklace frames her collarbones.
Catra’s throat goes dry. ‘Uh- You too.’
Glimmer smirks, satisfied with her work. She gets changed into her own outfit, a short purple tulle lace dress with a white fur trim and a cute Gucci clutch to accompany it. The pink haired girl spritzes them all with her various floral and sea spray scented perfumes before they head back downstairs.
‘Wow you guys look amazing!’ Scorpia marvels, and Adora’s friends voice their approval as well.
‘Gosh this place is crazy.’ Scorpia whispers to Catra. ‘Did you see their pool? We should’ve just held the swimming carnival here!’
Catra opens her mouth to tell her how Lonnie had let her go, but Sea Hawk’s booming voice interrupts them.
'I challenge you to the ultimate game of BEER PONG!' Sea Hawk announces, spinning the ball on his fingertips.
Of course this gets everyone's competitive spirit going, and everyone gets into pairs.
After a few drinks Catra has almost forgotten what she was worrying about earlier, too focused on the buzz. Her and Adora demolish the other teams by a landslide with their impeccable aim.
Soon the attendants came out with dinner, and it was lavish with every food you could imagine. Lobster, kobe beef, hor d'oeuvres, beluga caviar, kale, and opulent ice cream were all among the plates of food on the table.
They bring out a massive 3 tiered truffle cake, the words 'Happy Birthday' written with an oddly crude drawing of Catra.
'You drew this?' She asks, and Adora nods happily. 'You worked so hard on mine, so.' Catra doesn’t have the heart to tell her that the cake was $7 and the drawing of her forehead was meant as an insult.
They sing the birthday song for her, and this time no one brings up the cake cutting tradition.
After dinner they sit outside in the garden around the bonfire Sea Hawk had made. He was drunkenly singing a loud shanty while Bow piled in the wood, fanning the flames. Frosta sips on a mocktail, the only one there who wasn’t old enough to drink yet. The fire flickers and dances, casting shadows around them.
Catra downs a few more cocktails and jello shots as she waits for Mermista to light up some fireworks. Apparently it was illegal, but Mermista just waved her off, telling her that she’ll just pay the penalty fee as Catra’s birthday gift. Sea Hawk really did rub off on her.
When she successfully sets them off they light up the sky in dazzling multicoloured sparks. Adora’s friends whoop with glee, taking photos and videos to commemorate the moment.
Adora's side profile is lit up in the dark, and she looks impossibly beautiful among the backdrop of stars. Longing tears at her chest, Catra wants to hold her hand but her throat feels too tight and she can’t move. The truth was that she knew she had always had feelings for Adora, even back when they were just kids back in the foster home. But like a coward, she could never voice them for fear of Adora leaving her side.
A loud neighing can be heard from the stables in response to the loud booming noises from the fireworks.
'Swifty!' Adora says, standing up. The moment's breaks and Catra reels back her hand. 'Stay here, I'll be right back.'
Her chance disappears, she couldn’t say it after all. She watches her go tend to her horse, feeling stupid.
‘Yoohoo~, want a rematch?’ Sea Hawk calls out from the patio, pouring vodka into tiny glasses.
‘Don’t mind if I do.’ Catra replies. She definitely didn’t know her alcohol tolerance levels yet, so it was the perfect time to take that to the test.
Catra confidently does a whole line of shots, determined to drink herself into unconsciousness. Every time she sees a flash of Lonnie or Adora’s face in her mind, she takes another swig. Everyone is cheering her on, screaming the song ‘Shots’ over and over again, also all drunk out of their minds. Sea Hawk taps out at the 5th drink, and everyone screams at Catra’s flawless victory. Scorpia lifts her into the air to do a victory lap, cheering.
Adora finally makes an appearance, alerted by the sound of Catra's shrieky laughter as Scorpia swings her around.
‘Don’t worry, I can take it from here.’ Her school captain says pulling Catra away from her friend. Scorpia just shrugs and makes her way to the food table.
‘Catra, maybe you should slow down.’ Adora tells the giggling girl in her arms.
‘Noo way.’ She slurs, she was enjoying the feeling too much, the alcohol burning through her body, making her feel lightheaded. The light up disco dancefloor starts to blur into a kaleidoscope of colours.
‘You got some weed?’ Catra asks, seeing Perfuma light a bowl. The taller girl hands her an already rolled up one and Catra snatches it to take a long drag. The smoke hits her lungs and she starts coughing.
‘Oi Perfuma, why did you bring drugs? Angella will kill me!' Adora gripes, trying to wrestle the blunt away from Catra.
‘Aw don't be like that! I made some edibles for you guys to try.’ Perfuma says cheerfully, pointing to the pot brownies.
‘See? Scorpia likes them.’ She gestures at the other girl, who seemed to be currently tripping out of her mind and eating everything on the table.
Catra goes to reach for one, but Adora grabs her by the wrist to lead her back inside. 'Alright, you're done for the night. Everyone say bye!'
‘Byee Catra!’
‘Happy birthday!!’
Adora grabs her by the waist to lead her to her bedroom, Catra wobbling after her in the heels Glimmer lent her.
'Ugh Adoraaa, don't be such a party pooper. I'm fine.' She moans, leaning heavily on the other girl. 'Don't you have a shift tomorrow afternoon? I don't want you getting hungover or drug tested.' Adora chides, rummaging around the dark for the light switch.
Catra snorts. 'Oh you don't have to worry about that anymore. Got laid off.'
Adora looks at her in confusion, until realization dawns on her. 'Wait, is that why Lonnie took you outside?'
'Say, I never got to give you your birthday gift.' Catra pushes her hair back, voice sultry as she flings off her jacket. She never pinned herself down as a horny drunk, but here they were. Catra shoves Adora onto the bed, straddling her. Her golden hair spills over the mattress, soft like spun silk.
'You still want that kiss?' Catra whispers in Adora's now burning red ear. 'My knife touched the bottom.'
Adora's face now resembled a fire truck, mouth gaping in shock.
'C-Catra, I…'
Catra presses their lips together, silencing her. She knows she probably tastes like alcohol and weed right now, but she couldn't care less in the moment. Adora's mouth is still slack jawed from mortification, so she takes the opportunity for tongue. She frowns and moves down to her neck when Adora doesn’t return the kiss.
'Catra, what are you doing-'
Catra bites down on Adora's nape. The blonde underneath her lets out a soft gasp, arching her back. Her gold manicured nails dig into her shoulder.
'Stop, you're not thinking straight-!'
'Sure ain't.' Catra grins, licking a stripe down the base of her neck. Adora’s necklace chain jingles with the movement. There was now an impressive hickey there, blooming violet on her pale skin. She pauses to admire her handiwork.
'This isn't you talking, you'll, you'll regret this in the morning.' Adora stutters. She's shivering, their hands now laced together, silver rings clanking.
'I know. I don't care.' She replies, kissing her again. Adora's teeth nick her lip. The alcohol in her system makes her feel lightheaded, confident. No way would she have managed this sober. Adora tastes better than she does, sweet like blueberry soju. Catra's hands wander down further, pulling the strings to untie the back of her dress-
'Catra stop!' Adora suddenly shouts, striking Catra across the cheek in a deafening slap.
Adora's eyes were blazing, almost teary in the dark. Her breathing was irregular, panting in and out. Catra stills, clutching her cheek. The look in her eyes sobered her immediately.
Adora looks down at her palm, realizing what she just did. 'Sorry for hitting you!' She flounders. 'It's just that, you're only doing this because you’re drunk and upset, right?’
Catra just stares at her before climbing off. Cold realization settles as the fog in her brain clears. 'You're right. Forget it.'
She sits on the edge of the bed, numbly watching Adora hurriedly trying to re-tie the back of her now wrinkled dress. Her lips are stained with Catra’s red lipstick.
Adora catches her looking, and she quickly turns away to smooth down her hair with her fingers. 'You've had more than enough to drink tonight. I’ll get you some water to clear your head.’
She gets up to turn on the light switch, and Catra blinks in the harsh light from the chandeliers.
‘Come on, let’s get you sobered up, okay?’ Adora leads her to the kitchen on the same floor, gingerly placing her friend on the slippery bar stool.
The blonde goes to get the chilled jug of infused water from the fridge and pours it into a glass. Adora slides it across the island, and Catra reluctantly takes it. She sips at it, mint and lemon on her tongue. It tasted way better than her hose water.
‘I’ll uh, pick out some groceries for you since we’re here and all.’ Adora says awkwardly into the silence, turning around to rummage through her pantry.
Suddenly Catra is brought back to the whole reason why she was sitting here in this oversized mansion in the first place. Their friendship agreement. The one she had just violated. Catra had never felt more stupid to mistake Adora’s kindness and guilt for actual feelings. She felt like a charity case, waiting to collect food from the soup kitchen.
Of course Adora didn't like her back. She just saw her as someone needing to be saved. The product of survival guilt. Catra wanted to whack her head on the corner of her marbled countertop and not wake up.
Adora takes out a green plastic bag, and starts filling it with everything and anything she can get. Cans, pasta, biscuits, fruits and vegetables. Actually this feeling was more like being one of those poor kids that white girls would pose next to for their Instagram after their trip to Africa.
Did Adora have fun, volunteering to slum it up in her place while she returned here? All she ever wanted her entire life was to be Adora’s equal.
Scorpia and Sea Hawk's loud laughter and DJ music can be heard downstairs in the garden, beyond the tall golden trimmed windows. The class difference between them stretched like an unfathomable canyon. Living the classy bougie dream until the clock struck midnight and she was back in her run down garage. Except soon she won’t even have that anymore. Why did Adora have to bring her here? It was almost cruel.
Catra's suddenly overcome with the urge to vomit. She nearly falls off the high chair in her rush to throw up the unholy cocktail of alcohol into the sink. Tears bead in her eyes from the sour taste as she continues to vomit out everything she ate that night. She can feel Adora by her side, patting her back reassuringly.
It was by far the worst birthday she has ever had.
--
The morning of, Catra woke up in Adora’s bed with a splitting headache.
Unfortunately she was not given the gift of amnesia, as she vividly remembered every last excruciating detail about last night.
She spots Adora’s mop of blonde hair under a blanket on the floor, even though there were a billion other free spare rooms to sleep in. Adora was probably too afraid to share the same bed as her now.
Catra’s borrowed crop top digs uncomfortably into her skin, and she angrily flings it off her body. The shorts stick to her like a second skin, smelling of tequila. She grabs her old Burger King uniform and puts it on, though even this didn’t belong to her now.
Adora shifts in her sleep, and Catra lightly steps over her to get to the door. The last thing she wanted was for Adora to wake up.
As soon as she’s out, she runs out to the elevator and bangs frantically on the buttons until it sends her to the bottom floor. The lift opens with a ding and in her haste she almost crashes headfirst into Glimmer.
‘Oh hey! Are you going to work?’ Glimmer greets. She was in her silk pajamas and slippers, holding a glass of orange juice.
‘Uh. Yeah.’ Catra lies, trying her best to look natural.
‘Some party last night huh? Lucky today is a Saturday.’ Glimmer says conversationally, unaware of Catra’s urge to throw her across the room. ‘Hey, what happened to your cheek?’
Catra clutches her face, it still strung from where Adora struck her. ‘Nothing.’
Glimmer raises an eyebrow. ‘Well anyway, did you wanna stick around for breakfast? The cooks made pancakes, bacon, eggs, the whole deal.' She peeks behind Catra. 'Is Adora still not up yet?’
As much as Catra wanted to scream get out of my way she schools her expression to her best customer service smile. ‘Nope she’s still sleeping it off. Anyway I’m gonna be late so I can’t stick around.’
‘Did you need a lift?’ Glimmer asks. It dawns on the brunette she couldn’t exactly run the entire way back home. ‘I’ll ask one of the drivers to take you back so you make it to your shift.’
Catra thanks her lucky stars that Glimmer was still too hungover to drive her. She wouldn’t have been able to dodge her questions if she had.
‘Yes please.’ Catra says, giddy with relief. ‘Thank you.’
‘Ooh and before I forget, Adora told me last night to give you this.’ Glimmer says, grabbing the green bag of groceries off the counter. The shorter girl bundles it into Catra’s arms before she can object.
‘Get home safe.’ She says, waving as the attendant leads her out the door.
Catra looks down at the cans of food in her arms and doesn’t say anything.
------
The days leading up to graduation were painful, to say the least.
They more or less pretend the kiss didn't happen. Adora never brings it up, and neither does Catra.
She would stare at the ceiling, wishing she had never gotten piss drunk at her birthday and kissed her. Adora was right, she did regret it. It was awful, the look on Adora's face when she slapped Catra replays in her mind and nightmares over and over again. It was mortifying.
Adora still messages her every 3 days, and Catra still replies, though her words are empty and devoid of banter. I'm worried about you, she says. I'm fine, Catra always responds.
The brunette continues to humour her to keep the peace, only shutting down when her old job was mentioned. Catra doesn’t allow Adora back into her home again.
Sometimes they study together, but she can't concentrate when Adora wears her glasses. Her heart hurts, so she cradles her cheek and tries not to remember.
The hickey she had branded Adora's neck with had been covered with foundation until it faded away. None of her friends had teased her about it, so she clearly had not told a single soul what had happened.
Catra bites at the scab on her lip from where Adora’s teeth nicked her until it bleeds. She wants to apologize, but the words stick on her tongue and she can't bring herself to talk about that night.
Catra knew Adora was only here by her side to alleviate her guilt. Shame buries itself under her skin every time she's near her, like she was too embarrassed to even exist in the same space as Adora. She wants to disappear.
Exams are hard, and without an internet connection after the library closes at 6pm made it difficult to study. She tries to use the Mcdonald's wifi but soon just ordering a water cup wasn't enough for the workers to let her stay. It was a fruitless effort anyway, in her heart she knew she wasn't going to come out on top. Her ranking had slipped, she wasn't even at second place anymore. Rent was due at the end of the month, and without her Burger King wage she knew she'll be kicked out sooner than later.
Catra felt stressed and self destructive, and the only thing that kept her from falling off the edge completely was Scorpia. As much as she hated depending on others, she'd much rather her old coworker than Adora.
Her classmates seemed to like this new, muted down version of Catra who didn't argue and just stayed quiet most of the time. Fighting back was too difficult when all she wanted to do was blend into the wallpaper. All they talked about was where they were going for vacation after graduation, and Catra certainly had nothing to contribute to that conversation.
She felt like crying, all the time. It was agony, wanting to burst out into tears randomly while she sat wasting away in the student council room. Despite herself, she missed Burger King, and she just kept getting ghosted or rejected in her other job applications. Sometimes when she really wanted to indulge herself, she'd go cry silently in the school toilet stall.
Glimmer notices the change, and she catches her glaring. 'You don't seem as alive lately. Your eye bags are huge.'
'S'fine.' Catra replies, hiding her hands so she doesn't see how they shake. Honestly Catra couldn't remember the last time she slept.
'Pfft, don't lie to me. Adora's worried about you. You're getting skinnier, and your eyes are always raw. All you do is stare into space.'
Catra bites down on her nails. Of course she knew that. But she's gone through this before, and she'll do it again.
'What happened between you two?’
‘None of your business.’ Catra replies, shuffling her way to the hall.
--
Their graduation ceremony starts off uneventfully. Every student’s parents except Catra’s sit proudly in the audience, eager to watch their kid graduate. One by one they receive their certificate and return to their seats.
Adora and Catra stand side by side onstage, as Adora makes their final speech as School Captain. Through the blinding lights, she sees Angella waving proudly at her adoptive daughter in the crowd.
Catra looks at Adora in the corner of her eye. She must look pathetic, lovesick and pining after someone she couldn’t have.
‘It’s been such an honour serving the entire faculty and students of this school. I couldn’t have done it without my amazing Vice-Captain and all of my prefects.
Now I’m proud to hand over my badge to the next School Captain, Frosta.’
They go through the rest of the ceremony like that, each member of the student council handing their badges to their successors.
Soon their Principal comes up to the podium, tapping it once and clearing her throat.
‘Announcing our honor student, and the winner of the scholarship to Eternia University…’ Castaspella says, turning over the sign card.
‘None other than our school captain, Adora!’
Everyone starts clapping, and Adora walks across the stage to shake Castaspella's hand.
Sounded about right. Catra never won against Adora in her entire life. She had already expected this outcome. Like a game of cat and mouse, going over and over for all eternity.
Adora would excel with her elite education and secure a well paying job. Catra would struggle at the bottom indefinitely, never amounting to anything. She never would, if Adora was still there next to her. When the blonde re-entered her life, everything she had been working towards for years just collapsed. Her job, her home, her School Captain status, her chance at the scholarship, her sanity.
She had to be wiped clean. A fresh start.
The flower petals were falling, the streets decorated with a vibrant pink. The other students mill out of the crowd with their parents, chatting excitedly about what was next in their futures. She waits for Adora underneath a tree.
'Congratulations.' Catra says, when she finally spots the other girl in the crowd. Adora pulls away from Angella’s embrace to meet her.
'You deserve this so much more than I do.' Adora says, her voice pained like she didn't just win a full ride to her dream university. 'You should take it.'
'It's in your name, silly.' Catra replies, lightly tapping her with her rolled up certificate.
'Besides, I knew you'd get into Eternia, so I never applied.'
Adora blinks dumbly. '...What? Aren’t we going to the same university?’
She always was a bit slow on the uptake. ‘Only you decided that, stuupid. Say, it's about time we ended this right?'
‘Catra, what are you...'
'Our deal. You don't need to feel guilty anymore or bring me anything.' Catra says, her voice sounding like it didn't belong to her. She rummages in her bag, bringing out Adora's spare varsity jacket that she hadn’t returned. 'Here, take this. Thank you for all the help.'
'What do you mean? You want to stop being friends?' Adora says in disbelief, taking the jacket.
Catra nods. ‘I can’t continue with the arrangement. I hope you understand.’
‘I don’t! Was I the only one who thought we were friends, real ones?’ Adora asks.
‘...That’s right. I never saw you as a friend. You were just a meal ticket to me. Are you happy now?’ Catra snaps back. Shit, that wasn’t what she meant to say. She had planned to end this quickly and painlessly, on a high note. Trust Adora to put up a fight.
Something seems to click in Adora’s brain. ‘Is this about the night of the party?’
‘Figure that out yourself.’ Catra replies, turning to walk away.
Adora grabs onto her arm. ‘Wait! If- if that’s what you want, I’ll give it! Just don't go!'
This dumb blonde really was offering up her body, out of what? A sense of duty? How stupid.
‘Is that right?’ Catra says, walking closer to her. Adora backs up until she is pinned to the tree. They’re face to face now.
‘Can you really do this?’ Catra lifts Adora’s chin by a finger.
Finally it seems to dawn on Adora exactly what Catra wanted. She swallows, biting her lip.
There’s a flicker of hesitation, before Adora’s eyes squeeze shut defiantly. The blonde is shaking like a leaf, her breath coming out in panicked stutters from her pursed lips.
Catra just stares at Adora’s scrunched up face impassively. Her scared reaction was the only confirmation she needed for closure.
She flicks the other girl’s forehead, and her big blue eyes open in confusion.
‘Chill out, I’m not that evil to do it to someone so unwilling.’
Adora blinks, clutching her forehead. ‘Catra?’
Suddenly Angella’s voice cuts through their conversation from the car park. ‘Adora dear, are you done chatting with your friend? We have reservations!'
‘Um, I…’ Her old school captain opens her mouth to say something, but Angella's started to lose her patience. 'Adora, how long are you going to stand there? Glimmer is already waiting for us at the restaurant!'
Catra just smiles tiredly. ‘Take care, dummy.’
She watches Adora being dragged off unwillingly by her adoptive mother to the car.
Catra lets out a sigh. Her phone pings with a message from Scorpia, and she knows it's time to go.
---
By the time Angella releases her from their graduation celebration, Adora can feel that it's already too late.
Adora:
Please, can we talk? Let me fix this
A pop up appears over the screen.
Message Not Sent
This person isn't receiving messages at this time.
Adora sends another message, but they all go undelivered. Catra had blocked her again. Panic spikes through her veins, and she quickly dons on a jacket and grabs her car keys.
She sneaks out that night, down the familiar winding path through the bush that led to Catra's place.
'Catra?' She rolls up the garage door, blinking in the darkness. When her eyes adjusted, she found Catra's old home completely emptied.
All the furniture and items her friend had collected over the years, they were all gone. The little stove where they cooked, the old mattress where they talked late into the night, all vanished like they were never there.
A single green plastic bag remained on the floor untouched, filled to the brim of food.
123 notes
·
View notes