#I really need to update my tracker

[7-deadly-cats]

killing me softly | 21

K M S M A S T E R L I S T | <- P R E V I O U S | N E X T ->

✿ G E N R E ✿ she fell first, he fell harder | slice of life | drama

✿ P A I R I N G ✿ s1!rafe cameron x overthinking!reader (f)

✿ C O N T E N T W A R N I N G ✿ swearing, suggestive language & themes, mildly jealous!reader, possessive!rafe, silly!rafe, reader having a heart attack at the end (not literal, tho... maybe), cliffhanger bc i wanna keep things open for how i'm gonna handle the situation

✿ S U M M A R Y O F L A S T P A R T ✿ molly got added to the girls' group chat, and while you and rafe stayed curled up watching transformers, she kept the others updated about the two of you. the girls also ended up talking about rafe leaving earlier, and pretty quickly decided it probably had something to do with ruthie. you and rafe stayed cuddled the whole movie. you suggested filling topper and kelce in on everything but you weren’t gonna tell anyone anything he didn’t want shared. he also apologized for grabbing your wrist earlier, clearly feeling bad about how he handled it. you both added each other on TrackerBuddies, the little friendship tracker app. after the movie, you rejoined the others (minus the pogues). rafe openly admitted he regretted punching topper. when cara brought up ruthie, rafe shut her down fast. not long after, sarah called cara, asking to come join you guys. you asked rafe to dip with you. as you took an uber to your place, he grabbed your dad’s corvette, and the two of you headed out for another one of those sweet late-night drives. (18+ extra summarized) rafe missed you a lot back at home and tried feeling close to you by having a little solo session. afterward, he regretted it and also came to the realization this pull toward you was more than just a sexual need.

✿ W O R D C O U N T ✿ 10k+

✿ A / N ✿ probably one of my weakest chapters yet in comparison to the previous bangers. i also feel like it's 80% dialogue but i just have way too much fun w it and yeah. PLUS not sure if i’m jumping around too much but i really wanted to squeeze all the important scenes in. hope you guys enjoy anyway and pls lmk your thoughts <3 xx ᓚᘏᗢ

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for those who skipped the extra including the aftermath of the open-air event, please go back and read it as i've decided to promote it to a main chapter as it contains way too essential info and changes in dynamics. -> Chapter 20 (former extra)

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also just to be safe: avoid the comment section until you’re finished

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W E E K T W O // M O N D A Y 6 : 4 2 A M

One week ago, your whole life had been turned upside down.

Because exactly one week ago, on a seemingly uneventful Monday, your art teacher had decided to put you and Rafe Cameron together into a group for a two-week-long project.

And exactly one week ago, you'd thought this would be the end of you.

You remembered how he’d approached you after class, that unbothered expression on his face, not even properly looking at you, as he asked you to "just get this project over with" during lunch.

God, you remembered how you'd panicked afterward, how clammy your hands had gotten at the mere thought of working—no, TALKING—to Rafe. How Molly had found you pale as hell in the girls' restroom, how you'd freaked out while waiting for him in front of the gym.

You two had been classmates, project partners, no, actually, total strangers thrown together by some twisted coincidence named Arthur Smith, who wore washed-out art smocks and hair like a bomb had exploded in his face.

And now, exactly one week later, on yet another seemingly uneventful Monday, you could call yourself Rafe’s friend.

You couldn't even begin to describe how crazy, insane, downright batshit surreal that felt. Especially considering he’d been your crush for the past few years and now, within just one week, you’d gotten so close that you EVEN FUCKING CUDDLED LAST NIGHT LIKE WHAT.

HOW.

WHAT. HOW WAS THAT EVEN—like, you didn’t know what parallel universe you’d entered last Monday but LET’S FUCKING GOOOOO.

GOOOOSH, JUST THINKING ABOUT LAST NIGHT MADE YOUR HEART THUNDER LIKE CRAZY IN YOUR CHEST.

Starting from him being such a sweet gentleman, paying for your stuff, to you first sitting on the lounge bed and then scooting closer to warm each other up (after he’d had a boner but let’s never think about that again), and how sweet and relaxed he’d seemed, just for Ruthie to ruin your little cozy bonding moment with her fucked up bullshit game.

Oh, how badly you’d wanted to find that bitch after your argument with Rafe in the parking lot and slap that stupid grin right off her face. Sure, violence was never the answer, but this bitch? She could catch hands for playing him like that.

Really quite a weird coincidence though, that she’d been nowhere to be found at the event site after she’d talked to Rafe.

You’d found out through the girlies' group chat that she’d left in the middle of Barbie and had never come back. Gracie and Samantha had followed her shortly after.

As soon as Rafe had dropped you off at home, you’d gone straight to bed and scrolled through the dozens of messages in the girlies' group chat, aka them commenting on you and Rafe while trying to solve the mystery of why he’d left you behind.

And funny enough, they’d actually kinda solved it. But you hadn’t commented on anything because Rafe had made it very clear he didn’t want anyone getting involved.

Also, not them playing fucking Sherlock Holmes and talking about you and Rafe as if you weren’t in the group chat. Like, girls, come on, at least make a secret chat for that, geez.

You’d giggled nonetheless. Happy that Molly was now in the group too and also touched by how much they were cheering you and Rafe on.

Anyway, Ruthie being the reason two poor souls had to spend half the night alone? Fucking bitch.

And that just made you feel even worse about being annoyed with Topper last night. He’d probably felt just as awful as you had ughhhh.

Though, you had absolutely zero energy to spiral over how he might’ve felt because—BECAUSE—

Because Rafe.

YEAH RAFE.

Rafe who’d placed his fucking hand just inches away from your butt when he'd nudged you forward, both when leading you back inside the venue AND when you'd left. Like, okay, it was still just your lower back but from a different angle, that was just inches from your butt.

HAHAHAHAH the butterflies in your stomach had been already screaming like crazy and ripping each other’s wings off from panic and excitement, but no, this guy had taken it one step further.

Him. Always by your side. Like. The whole night.

Always close to you in some kind of way.

Not pushy, not clingy, or in any way uncomfortable. No, it felt more like he wanted to be near you, to feel the comfort of your presence, to reassure himself that you really weren’t leaving. Maybe grounding himself after being so shaken earlier.

So, when you two had settled back in on the lounge bed (ignoring Kelce’s and Molly’s surprised, smiley glances), he’d pulled you right back under the blanket. Held it open for you to scoot closer, and when you’d hesitated to cozy back up to him, he gave you this look with his big blue eyes—equal parts amusement and confusion—and said, “Don’t you dare be shy with me now.”

Yeah.

You kinda died in that moment. He'd looked genuinely afraid you might be scared of cuddling with him again, when in reality you just didn’t want to overstimulate him or crowd him after his crashout, especially considering he’d still been a bit jittery from the coke in his system.

Somehow, that restlessness faded fast once you cozied back up to him, his arm instantly wrapping around your waist as you settled back on his chest, your hand resting on his stomach. He even picked up where he’d left off, playing with the charms dangling from your bracelet—a gesture that somehow grounded both of you.

And in that very moment, you let yourself accept the fact that Rafe liked you.

He liked being around you, liked hanging out with you, and he also seemed to like the way you handled him and his little crashout moments. Because if he didn’t, he would’ve dipped after your argument. He wouldn’t have begged you to stay and apologized. And he definitely wouldn’t have spent the rest of the night by your side AND LEFT TOGETHER WITH YOU.

Of course, deep down, in some very dark and twisted corner of your brain, there was still that fear that he only liked the feeling you gave him. That he just liked that you stuck around. That he enjoyed the idea of having some girl around. Or worse—that he was doing all this for the project. That he was only keeping you around so you’d carry him through it, boost his GPA, and then drop you the second he got what he wanted.

But those thoughts felt so absurd, so ridiculous, you were ashamed to even think them, ashamed they even surfaced for a second. Especially after Rafe had opened up to you like that, gotten emotional and vulnerable, showing a side of himself you didn’t even think Topper or Kelce had ever seen.

Nah, fuck those thoughts.

Fuck that little asshole minion in your head that even dared to speak them out loud. Yeah, mentally, you kicked that little guy’s ass.

Better.

AHDHEKJEKW you couldn’t stop grinning to yourself as you packed your bag for school, thinking about how sweet he’d been after the movie.

Sliding right next to you on the bench at the bar, KNEES TOUCHING AND HIM FUCKING PLAYING WITH THE FABRIC OF YOUR DRESS AT YOUR SHOULDER LIKE JESUS YOU HAD LITERAL GOOSEBUMPS FROM THAT.

And oh my god—him helping you into your jacket in the parking lot after you'd left the venue, complimenting your dress again followed by a dumbass comment (“You sure you not into hookups? Shit, aight, sorry, don’t look at me like that”), which you THANKFULLY hadn’t spiraled over because somehow you’d accepted that flirty, suggestive comments were just part of the Rafe Cameron starter pack.

And also, YOU KINDA LIKED HEARING HIM SAY STUFF LIKE THAT HIHIHIHHI.

Because the fact that he found you attractive, even being down to sleep with you, and showered you with comments like that... yeah, that DID something to you. Huge ego and confidence boost and let’s just say it stirred another part of you as well.

While lying on Rafe, you felt that tingling sensation surging through your whole body, a buzzing warmth low in your stomach. That desire for his hand on your waist to slide a little further down to your butt, or maybe even higher… to rest on your boobs. Or how you wondered what his abs felt like under that stupidly well-fitting polo, or what his lips might feel like on yours. How those same lips would taste, how they’d feel on your neck, shoulders, stomach, thighs, and—

HE HAD!!! HE’D LET HIS HAND WANDER FOR JUST A TINY SECOND, JUST A TINY INCH TOWARD YOUR HIP AND… then he’d pulled back.

Had you been absolutely overwhelmed in that moment? Yes. Were you still disappointed he hadn’t left his hand there? YES. But did the fact that he did pull back—because he cared about not making you uncomfortable—make you want him to touch you even more BECAUSE HIM CARING ABOUT YOUR COMFORT WAS SO FUCKING HOT?

ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY.

You’d always found Rafe attractive (I mean, duh, even fifth-grade you had good taste), but now? This didn’t feel like just a crush anymore, like some cute guy you liked looking at. No, this was… different. Like there was this magnetic pull toward him and— okay, let’s be real, it felt like you wanted him to rip your clothes off and rock your world.

And the wildest part? Rafe apparently wanted to do exactly that, as he’d stated two days ago, and WHAT'S STOPPING YOU THEN HHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

Oh right.

Probably the crippling fear of rejection, the fact that you're a virgin with zero real-life experience outside of chaotic fanfiction, and also the sheer vulnerability of baring your entire soul and body in front of a guy while handing him the key to the most fragile little drawer of your being.

Hah. Yeah. Nope. Sex definitely wasn’t happening anytime soon.

Besides… didn’t you technically just become friends two days ago? And that only because you basically forced him into it during that horrible spiral over his intentions. And if you suddenly told him (not that you even had the balls to do that) that you’d maybe potentially be down for… something, he’d probably smash your head against the wall for being so damn indecisive and for driving him to the brink of insanity during that conversation.

HAHAHAHAHA. Yeah not happening.

Anyway.

School.

You slung your bag over your shoulder and were just about to text Rafe when your phone buzzed at that exact moment, nearly giving you a heart attack.

Seriously, this freaking guy.

How was he one of the “cool” guys at school when he didn’t even know how to use the basic features on his phone? Like, excuse me? -100 aura.

Also, him saying he hated cats for being moody when HE acted like a moody stray cat himself? The irony was almost poetic.

AND NOT HIM CALLING YOU ‘BABY’. WHAT.

Okay, yeah, he very professionally crossed the word out, but like, he could have drawn over it completely.

But he hadn’t.

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN OMFG.

Not a single day went by without him completely messing with your head with those weird, mixed (but also not mixed at all) signals. I meaaaan, he’d made it pretty clear that he wanted to bend you over, but was also totally fine being friends who flirted for fun???

Okay, the more you thought about that, the more ridiculous it sounded soooo, let’s push that thought away before you spiraled again and Rafe ended up actually smashing your head into a wall hahaha.

So you just—

Bzzrt.

You grabbed your phone again and chuckled.

You never would’ve guessed Rafe was such a drama queen and kind of needy. Not sexually (okay, maybe a little), but more like emotionally needy?

Like, the way he'd called you out for needing reassurance during your argument, and, look at him, the very same night clinging to you like a second shadow, blowing up your phone at every opportunity like you were the only friend he had.

And honestly? It kind of made you feel… wanted. Because he did it in this passive-aggressive, caring kind of way that made your chest warm up in all the right ways.

Shit, Rafe = Doberman confirmed (again).

Also, it was really sweet how comfortable he seemed with you. The way he let his guard down, showed vulnerability and affection, let himself be attached like that. He definitely didn’t act like that with Topper and Kelce.

Well, to be fair, they also hadn’t been cuddled up to him with their boobs pressed against his chest last night sooo… yeah.

Okay, you really needed to head downstairs now before Rafe showed up and gave you some kind of speech about making him wait 0.3 seconds.

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"Your mom loves me," he said as he pulled his Benz out of your driveway, grinning so wide he looked like the Cheshire Cat.

And, well, yeah, your mom had stood at the front door waving at him with a smile when she said goodbye. Actually, she was still standing there, her grin mirroring Rafe’s.

Ughhh, why was this so embarrassing.

"I think she’s just relieved I’m not taking her car again," you said with a small laugh. You’d kinda scratched the side mirror that one time trying to park in some hellishly narrow underground lot, oops.

Rafe shook his head, still grinning, and waved back to her before driving off. "Nah. Looks more like she just found the perfect son-in-law."

A baffled laugh escaped your lips at the absurdity. "Don’t know about that."

"Yeah? And why’s that?" He raised a brow, smirking at you as he glanced over. "Seemed like your mom and your dad pretty much threw themselves at me on Saturday."

You exhaled through your nose, amused. "Well, yeah. You looked wrecked with that bruise. Still do," you said, eyeing the purple blotch on his cheek. "Plus, my dad’s a doctor. It’s literally his job to care about people."

If only he knew how deeply your parents actually cared about him. How concerned they were after speaking to him once.

Rafe scoffed. "Yeah, sure. Next time I see them, they’ll probably start planning a wedding."

"And I’m pretty sure they’d ask for my consent first," you chuckled, though your heart did a little jump at him even mentioning marriage.

And your pulse spiked even more when Rafe gave you this weirdly serious look, almost more confused than amused. "What? Am I not living up to the princess’ standards?"

OH. WHAT.

Boy, if you only knew. You were the standard.

ALSO WHY WAS THIS THROWING YOU OFF SO BADLY, WHAT THE HELL.

Oh god, how were you supposed to respond without offending him but still giving an answer that satisfied him enough to let it go, without completely exposing your feelings but maybe still dropping some kind of hint AHHHHH???

Cheeks heating up, you let out an awkward laugh, fiddling with your bracelet. "Well, I mean… you don’t exactly strike me as the relationship type."

OH GIRL.

Rafe scoffed, amused. "Shit, what? So you’re saying I’m never settling down or what?"

UMMMMM.

Heart racing like crazy in your chest, you let out a strained chuckle, shaking your head. "No! No, of course not. I didn’t mean it like that, I just… I meant right now, you know?" You fidgeted with the little key charm on your bracelet. "I’m just not sure how to say it without you taking it the wrong way."

"It's that hookup topic again, huh?" Rafe asked, not entirely clear whether he was annoyed or entertained.

You shook your head. "Yes—I mean, no! Not that exactly. I just…" You sighed, feeling your neck heat up as well. "I only meant to say it doesn’t seem like you’re interested in anything serious right now. You brought up marriage and all, but that kinda needs a relationship as a foundation, right? Not that anyone our age is actually thinking about marriage." You grimaced, cringing at yourself. "Okay, please ignore everything I've said. I'm talking nonsense."

Rafe let out a chuckle and glanced sideways at you. "You know, I can have fun now and still settle down later."

UGHHHH PLEASE DROP IT.

"Yes, of course," you said, nodding like a lunatic. "I’m not judging. I was just objectively describing how you come across to me. That’s all."

He gave a tight-lipped smile, scratching his jaw, like he was letting your words settle. "I guess."

Oh no. Oh god. You’d offended him.

SHIT.

QUICK, FIX IT.

"I didn’t mean anything bad by it," you said quietly, watching his jaw clench.

The car stopped at a red light.

Rafe nodded, lips pressed together, and squinted out the windshield as he let out a strained laugh. "I dunno. You kinda made it sound like I’m incapable of committing."

WHY WAS HE TWISTING YOUR WORDS.

You shook your head, eyes wide. "Rafe, no, that’s absolutely not—"

"I mean, family’s important, right?" he cut in, his tone softer now, meeting your gaze for a split second. You nodded and opened your mouth but he kept going: "It’s about blood, loyalty, and all that shit. That’s what you build your life around." His brows twitched. "Just actually finding someone worth sharing this shit with, that’s the part that sucks."

He scoffed, raising his shoulders. "I mean, shit, there’s not a single girl at school I could tolerate for longer than a class period. Either they’re the most exhausting person alive or the most basic, boring chick ever."

Alriiiiiight.

Okay, first of all: him having this view on family and commitment? Wow. Unexpected. But then again, okay, not that surprising considering Ward Cameron was known to value family above everything else and Rafe practically worshipped his dad. So, okay, yeah, it made sense he shared that belief.

And second: wow… what were those last words supposed to mean? Did that mean he couldn’t actually tolerate you either? Which made no sense because he clearly—

“Don’t,” he scoffed, amused.

You blinked. “What?”

“Can hear your fuckass brain minion preaching some bullshit again.”

Uh…

“Obviously I wasn’t talking about you,” he said and pulled the car back into motion as the light turned green.

OH. WHAT.

WHAT WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO— WHAT. OKAY NO, THIS JUST SENT YOUR SPIRAL INTO OVERDRIVE BECAUSE WHAT DID HE MEAN BY THAT.

A baffled little laugh left your lips. “Not sure how I’m supposed to take that.”

For a moment, he didn’t say anything, brows furrowed as he stared straight ahead, fingers drumming against the steering wheel. Then he shrugged. “You’re fucking weird, so you’re not basic shit. And yeah, you are fucking exhausting, but not in a ‘buy me this, why didn’t you call me’ kinda way, blah blah,” a crooked smile tugged at his lips, “more like ‘I make easy things complicated’ exhausting.”

Uh-huh. Should’ve never asked.

You nodded slowly, raising your eyebrows. “Right.”

“Right,” Rafe mocked you with a scoff. “Just told you for like the hundredth time I fuck with you. Dunno what’s so hard to understand about that.”

Man, this guy and his attempts at expressing himself. You two really needed to work on that.

You raised a brow at him, lips tugging into a small grin. “Did you just mock me?”

“Did you just mock me,” he mimicked again, only to get smacked (more or less gently) on the arm for it.

A boyish laugh escaped him as he raised his brows at you. “Shit, nearly dislocated my shoulder.”

Idiot.

“Keep it up and Cacty’s gonna be raised by a single parent,” you said flatly, your expression amused.

Yes, during your Uber ride yesterday you’d both heavily debated what kind of plant to choose for your TrackerBuddies plant and, even more importantly, what to name it.

In the end, you’d compromised (okay, Rafe had given in because you threatened to kill the seed off). He got to pick the plant (“cactus are tough as fuck, aight”) and you picked the name (“fuckass name, plant’s gonna be a loser”).

Yeah, well, and now Cacty was already on level 3 because via notifications you’d seen how Rafe had been grinding that app since 5am this morning (not him paying for in-game coins and farming XP).

Rafe shot you the most dramatic scowl alive. “Shit, I already am a single parent. You only watered that fucker once since yesterday.”

“I didn’t have time this morning,” you replied with a chuckle.

“It’s literally one tap of a button.” Rafe raised a brow at you. “Fingers busy with something else or what?”

DUDE.

Immediate heat rushed to your face as you let out a very strained laugh. “You’re nasty.”

“Imma take that as a yes.”

HELP OH MY GOD. WHY WOULD HE SAY THAT.

Wait, no—fuck that. Last night you hadn’t been shy at all, why were you acting all flustered now? He’d literally had a boner lying next to you, like????? That hadn’t bothered you but this did?

Nah.

Time to throw that shit right back.

You gathered your courage and gave him a deadpan look. “Maybe you should use yours more often. Might help keep your libido in check.”

He only scoffed in amusement but ha! You caught that tiny furrow between his brows, the way his jaw tightened as he rubbed it.

Making Rafe uncomfortable? Shouldn’t feel as satisfying as it did.

He was just about to throw a smart-ass reply back when both your phones buzzed at the same time. His in the center console, yours in your bag.

Immediately your stomach tightened with unease. You couldn’t help but think of Ruthie. Was she trying to play real-life Gossip Girl now?

Before you could reach for your phone, Rafe grabbed his and tossed it into your lap. “0510. Who’s being annoying?”

ALRIGHT. TRUSTING YOU WITH HIS PHONE AGAIN AND EVEN GIVING YOU HIS PASSCODE. I MEAN. OKAY.

Heart beating a little faster, you unlocked it and tapped on the notification, leading you straight into his email app.

You blinked. “Mr. Smith.”

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“I think we should use the free period to work on the project,” Rafe said as he crossed his arms on the stone table, biceps flexing while he did.

Mr. Smith had very kindly announced ahead of time (10 min prior the lesson) that he wouldn’t be in today because he was going to an art exhibition out of town. But he’d left the art room unlocked for anyone who wanted to continue working on their project.

You pulled your iPad from your bag, eyes scanning the display as you skimmed through your school notes. Shit, maybe sitting in the courtyard hadn’t been the best idea. The screen was reflecting.

Ugh, whatever.

“Again, I’ve got a math test afterward and I really don’t wanna fail,” you said, glancing up for a second. “I mean, you could already head to the copy shop and we can do the rest after school.”

PROPS TO YOU FOR INDIRECTLY ASKING TO HANG OUT LATER HIHIHI.

Rafe grimaced and leaned back, scratching his jaw. “Nah, I’ve got no clue about that crap. Besides, I’ve got no time this afternoon. Need to talk to my dad.”

Your heart sank. You’d really hoped to see him again later and spend more time together, but he was right. The Ruthie situation took priority. He only had six more days till the Gloaming to convince his dad to accept the deal and get the video deleted from Ruthie’s stash.

So you just nodded, opening your math folder. “Do you already know what you wanna say to him?”

You’d offered to talk about it last night during your late-night drive around, but Rafe insisted on saving that for today.

Rafe furrowed his brows, rubbing at one. “Shit, I don’t know. I mean, I gotta make him reconsider the deal.” He exhaled and shrugged. “But it’s fucked. The terms are shit, and agreeing to it would be like submitting to a guy way below him. No way he’ll even listen to me.”

Yeah, the whole thing would’ve been way easier if Rafe had to propose a new deal. But trying to make his dad rethink one he’d already dismissed? Practically impossible.

You nodded. And good thing you’d given this some thought before falling asleep. “Okay, three options,” you said. “First, you present the deal in such a way that he has to reconsider and say yes but even I think that’s the hardest route.” You pointed your Apple Pencil at him. “Second, we get Ruthie’s dad to rethink his terms. Maybe he’s open to talk. Or, I dunno, if we’re lucky maybe Ruthie is.”

Even as the words left your mouth you knew it was stupid. Ruthie never gave in. That’d just drag Rafe deeper into the shit.

“Fuck that,” Rafe said, crossing his arms on the table again AND GOD THEY LOOKED DELICIOUS DMKNCJKNCJKDS. “This bitch can’t be trusted and I sure as hell won't give her the satisfaction of handing her even more control over the situation.”

You chuckled. “I’m just laying out all the options, okay.”

Rafe exhaled and nodded, flicking his hand. “Aight. Option three?”

The juicy one.

“We play Ruthie’s own game,” you said, snapping your Apple Pencil back into its case with a soft click. “Either we hit her with an uno reverse and blackmail her so she has to delete the video.” You tilted your head. “Or we take care of it ourselves.”

An amused scoff escaped Rafe. “Yeah sure, let’s just ask her for her phone. I’m sure she’ll gladly hand it over.”

You frowned. “Rafe, I’m just trying to help you.”

He nodded, brows furrowed, running a hand through his hair. “I know, I know, I just…” He exhaled hard and pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose, eyes closed. “Shit’s pissing me off so bad, I can’t even put it into words.”

It's not like you’re capable of putting anything into words but yeah.

Still, how badly you wanted to see Ruthie burn for distressing this already distressed boy so badly. At least—and that was the only comforting thought at the moment—he didn’t seem to be falling deeper into his addiction (at least for now). His pupils looked normal, and by Rafe’s standards, he was acting pretty normal too.

“I know,” you said softly, giving him a small smile. “But again, you’re not alone in this shit, okay? And I still think it’s a good idea to let Topper and Kelce in on it. I mean, they’ve pieced most of it together by now anyway, might as well tell them the whole truth.���

Rafe grimaced, eyes fixed on the golden ring he kept fidgeting with.

“I know you’re kinda suspicious of Topper,” you went on, “but maybe we could use his closeness to Ruthie to our advantage. You know, get him to somehow delete the video or something, I don’t know.”

Then he looked up at you, eyes holding a weird glimmer, and said the last thing you expected to hear: “Or Gracie could.”

Your smile faded instantly.

Somehow that made your heart sink right away, a sick and ugly feeling twisting in your gut, and you could physically feel some butterflies die in your stomach.

“I mean that bitch follows her around everywhere,” Rafe continued, brows furrowed. “She’s basically glued to Ruthie. If anyone could actually get to her phone, it’s her.”

Sure, he always talked shit about Gracie whenever she was brought up, and yet… she was still some kind of ex-girlie of his and—UGH GIRL PLEASE.

"Yeah," you said, your voice a little too detached. "You said it yourself: she’s glued to Ruthie. And even if you somehow convinced her to betray her best friend, how are you even planning to talk to her without Ruthie getting suspicious?"

Rafe shrugged, leaning back again. “Getting her to talk isn’t the problem. I could just hit her up, say I wanna hook up again. Should be easy enough.”

...

A few more butterflies lost their wings in that moment and your stomach practically turned inside out.

You just stared at him, genuinely overwhelmed and not knowing what to even say to that.

Shit, on one hand, that wasn’t even a bad idea. Out of everyone, Gracie did have the best shot at getting Ruthie’s phone. And Ruthie being betrayed by her own best friend? That was poetic justice.

But on the other hand...

The idea of Rafe and Gracie working together when this was supposed to be you and him, and worse—what if they rediscovered their thing again and actually went through with it?! AHHHHHHH.

No. Just no. Please don’t.

“What?” Rafe asked, clearly confused, pulling you out of your downward spiral.

You shook your head, brows furrowed. “Nothing, I… I just don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Rafe raised his brows, waiting for more.

“Well, like I said, I don’t think Gracie is that easily convinced to betray her best friend,” you said, the distant edge creeping back into your voice. “And let’s say she does agree to... talk. There's a high chance she runs straight to Ruthie the moment you even bring it up. You’d just be shooting yourself in the foot.”

That THANKFULLY made him pause.

Please say I'm right. PLEASE SAY I'M FUCKING RIGHT.

“Shit, what else am I supposed to do?” Rafe said, clearly frustrated. “It’s my only chance at getting rid of that fuckass video. Like, how the fuck am I supposed to blackmail Ruthie, huh?” He gestured to himself, shoulders raised. “Her nudes already leaked and no one cared, her dad fucking their housekeeper—no one gave a shit for whatever reason, and I bet anything else we could dig up on her, she’d just talk her way out of. This is fucked.”

He rubbed his eye and motioned with his other hand. “Might as well just go ahead and show my dad the fucking video myself.”

NO!

Your expression softened. “There’s gotta be another option. But I really feel like using sex as a last-ditch effort to get what you want is—”

“Shit, no,” Rafe cut you off quickly, shaking his head, face twisted in disgust. “I wouldn’t actually hook up with her.” He tapped both sides of his temple, eyes intense. “Bitch is fucking crazy. And I’m not talking ‘got some dumbass minions in her head’ crazy, I mean like, ‘asks to roleplay as Ruthie during sex’ crazy.”

ALRIIIIGHT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

As much as this was the biggest relief ever, more than anything it absolutely horrified you. Then again… Gracie did seem to worship Ruthie a little too much, so this actually sounded kinda legit.

UGHHH. EW.

You let out a disbelieving laugh. “I really could’ve gone my whole life without knowing that.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Rafe scoffed. “What do you think it felt like for me? Right in the middle of bending her over, she turns around and—”

“OKAY! I believe you! No need for details,” you cut him off with a strained chuckle and—SHIT! Only twenty minutes left until math class. “So, how about we continue this after school? Or uh, after your convo with your dad?” You smiled sheepishly. “I really gotta study now.”

Rafe’s brows twitched, but he nodded. “4pm? I don’t think that talk’s gonna take long. If my dad’s even open to listening.”

Slowly, the butterflies in your stomach began to piece themselves back together. A warm smile tugged at your lips at the thought of hanging out with him again later. “Sounds good. Hoping things go well.”

And just like that, a smile appeared on Rafe’s face too.

“Aight,” he said, getting up and walking around the table to your side, practically bumping into your hip as he sat down next to you. “Now lemme see how we can save your math grade from sucking ass.”

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿

"There you two cuties are," Cara said as you and Rafe arrived at the table, holding your lunch trays in hand.

Funny, haha. You both just happened to arrive at the dining hall at the same time and just happened to get your food together hihihi (they were serving wraps and you could choose your own fillings).

The other three (+ Cara, obviously) eyed you with the biggest grins ever. Molly was seated between Kelce (obviously again) and Topper, and Cara sat across from them (which, kind of weird they were seated 3 + 1 instead of 2 + 2 but um… yeahhh).

You slipped in next to Cara and Rafe moved in beside you, immediately manspreading so his knee touched yours again.

THIS JUST MADE YOUR NERVES BUZZ A TINY LITTLE BIT BUT YOU LEFT IT THERE (ANOTHER OBVIOUSLY HIHIHI).

"How was last night?" Molly was the second to speak, and you could feel how badly Rafe wanted to throw a scowl her way.

So you beat him to it with a sheepish smile: "It was nice."

"Yo, we want details," Kelce said, grinning like an idiot.

UGHHHHH THIS SOUNDED WAY TOO MUCH LIKE “DID YOU GUYS DO IT?”

"Took her dad’s Corvette and we drove around," Rafe answered, a cocky smile tugging at his lips (him not crashing out? a first).

Kelce’s eyes widened. "Shiiiii, for real? Bet it felt like sliding down clouds."

"Better," Rafe answered, still grinning, and Kelce squinted like he’d just tasted something absolutely delicious.

"Your dad allowed that?" Topper asked, directing the question to you, swallowing a bite of his wrap. His bruise somehow looked worse than Rafe’s after one day.

Cara rolled her eyes. "Duh. He’s not your mom."

The table chuckled. Only Topper frowned, but you quickly said, "Well, I figured he’d allow it if someone capable was driving."

And that actually drew a genuine smile from Rafe as he looked down at his wrap, kinda struggling to hold it together (good thing you hadn’t told him to ask for it wrapped in a paper bag, but sure, what did you know).

"So, what happened after?" Cara asked, her face way too smug.

GIRL PLEASE.

"You always this fucking nosy?" Rafe lifted his gaze from his tragic wrap to meet Cara’s eyes with an irritated smile.

EXCUSE ME SIR, that’s my bestie!

You kicked him under the table but that idiot kept holding Cara’s gaze with a straight-up challenge in his eyes.

Help. They were both stubborn as hell. This could go downhill fast.

"We got some food and that’s basically it," you said with a tense smile, hoping those idiots would get the cue. And to quickly change the topic you asked, "And what about you guys?"

WAIT NO. SARAH AND THE POGUES HAD COME OVER AFTER YOU AND RAFE HAD LEFT.

OH MY GOD. SOMEONE SHOOT ME.

"I asked out Molly for the Gloaming," Kelce said (OMG MASTER OF READING SOCIAL CUES, THANK YOU).

You smiled genuinely and turned to Molly. "I assume you said yes."

"He dragged me to the beach and gifted me a necklace," she said, giggling, cheeks pink. "So yes."

OMDNJKSCHNSDKHNCKVDSHCNKVSHVSDK.

CUTEST COUPLE IN THE UNIVERSE FR OMG (let’s ignore Rafe brooding next to you).

And now you spotted it. A silver sun-shaped necklace resting against her freckled collarbone.

I LITERALLY CANNOT.

Cara nodded. "I want at least that and a fancy dinner and the biggest bouquet of roses possible."

Lmfao, the way Topper immediately looked up from his food, probably taking mental notes. Also not Cara very obviously saying that out loud.

So she was done with JJ. After one day.

Wow. Got her cheeks clapped and dipped. Queen.

"And you?" Kelce asked, turning to you with that gleaming white grin.

You smiled sheepishly, feeling your cheeks flush. "What?"

"Well, what’s your dream ‘getting asked out’ scenario?"

OH HELL NO. YOU KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS DOING, SAYING THAT IN FRONT OF RAFE, AND THAT JUST MADE EVERYTHING. SO. FREAKING. AWKWARD. BYEEEEEE.

"Or someone already done that?" he added, eyes flicking over to Rafe for a second who was very focused on not letting his wrap fall apart (you were this close to snatching it and wrapping it properly for him).

Ummmmmmm. Literally though, if Rafe asked you out?

Dead. Instantly. Because holy shit, that? That’s what little you had always dreamed of, always hoping that the impossible would happen and Rafe freaking Cameron asking you out to Midsummers or the Gloaming.

You just let out a nervous chuckle and shrugged. "Um… no."

AND THEN THE WORST THING HAPPENED.

Kelce’s gaze shifted to Rafe again. AND YOU COULD ALREADY HEAR HIM GEARING UP TO ASK RAFE IF HE’D BE THE ONE TO ASK YOU OUT OR SOME SHIT BUT—

"Rob’s still in town until Sunday," Topper stated, and you could feel the gust of wind from how fast Rafe’s head snapped up beside you. "He’s been asking about you."

Oh… um.

A baffled smile tugged at your lips because you honestly didn’t know how to feel about this fact.

Flattered? Uncomfortable? Annoyed that Rafe hadn't asked you out for the Gloaming just after two days of befriending each other hahahahha ???

"Why the fuck is that fucker still hanging around?" Rafe asked, scowling so deep you could see the minus friends symbol appear above his head like he was a Sim.

Topper eyed him for a second, clearly still bitter about the punch, and shrugged. "High school doesn’t start for him until next week, so he’s sticking around at his aunt’s place a little longer."

Um, the tension at this table was basically tangible now. Rafe was glaring at Topper like he was more pissed at him than Rob being in town.

"And I thought if Y/n wanted a date to the Gloaming," Topper continued, "they could go together."

Cara nodded in agreement (HUH?) and turned to you. "Yeah, oh my god, you vibed so well and you’d look so cute together."

Oh, you knew what she was doing. What all of them were trying to accomplish here. And it just made you want to crawl under the table and disappear.

You knew they meant well, but trying to get Rafe to ask you out by making him jealous or competitive or whatever? Absolutely and definitely the wrong move.

And Rafe thought so too. His smile twisted with irritation, and--

OKAY GIRL LET’S DE-ESCALATE THIS.

You very politely shook your head with a smile, trying to ignore the way your palms got clammy. "That’s a nice thought, Topper, thanks, but I feel like that would just give him the wrong idea."

Topper’s brows twitched but he nodded. "Still, you could keep it in mind."

MY MIND IS FULL ALREADY, THANKS.

"Yes, thanks," you replied anyway, relaxing a little when Rafe seemed to shift his attention back to his food, finally grabbing a fork and eating his disaster of a wrap like that.

Wait.

Oh no.

You saw it. Everyone (except Rafe, who was fully focused on stabbing his wrap) looked at Molly with this quiet, knowing anticipation.

COULD THEY PLEASE DROP IT. THIS WAS GETTING OUT OF HAND.

Molly let out a small breath and gave Rafe one of her signature sweet smiles. "What about you, Rafe?"

"Huh?" He looked up, mouth full of wrap.

"You planning to ask someone out, or are you going solo?" Molly asked, and wow, instead of snapping at her, Rafe just furrowed his brows.

Molly really was an angel.

And holy shit, everyone at the table seemed to hold their breath. YOU INCLUDED BECAUSE JCDKWLSJSDHJFUJDFLS.

Rafe swallowed his bite, a deep crease between his brows, and said: "If every girl keeps being this fucking annoying—"

“Yo, dude,” Kelce cut him off firmly, and oh. My. God. The way he actually looked intimidating when he wanted to, voice soft but with just the right amount of warning. Um… kinda hot, BYE.

Molly just chuckled softly, AND THANK YOU QUEEN for not taking Rafe’s moody ass to heart.

“What?” Rafe said, gesturing to his food. “Just trying to fucking eat here and y’all keep pissing me off with annoying-ass questions. If I wanted to giggle about the fucking Gloaming, I’d have sat with a bunch of 6th graders.”

Cara snorted. “Then maybe let them show you how to eat properly too.”

All of you chuckled. Except Rafe, whose face turned into a full-on scowl (keep it up and it’ll stick like that forever). He aggressively stabbed his fork into a slice of avocado (and when it slipped off, you nearly lost it).

Then he raised the now-empty fork and pointed it at everyone, a crooked smile on his face. “You know what. You’re all fucking lucky I let yesterday’s bullshit slide.”

Duuude.

Was he seriously still salty about everyone spending a few hours with Sarah and the Pogues? Pleaseee, this weird class war in his head needed to be eradicated immediately.

The funniest part was how everyone just stared at him with the most deadpan looks ever (even Kelce and Molly BAHAHAHA) over the way this boy was acting up, and how he'd behaved yesterday.

Like, stupid idiot not realizing he was lucky they let his bullshit slide, But alright, go off, king of dramatic tantrums.

For a good ten seconds, the table was dead silent—just muffled voices from the other tables and the faint sound of the dining hall’s radio—until Molly finally spoke, her kind eyes and soft smile doing the absolute most.

“Did you guys know there’s a new museum opening in town?”

And just like that, the others jumped straight back into the convo like Rafe hadn’t said a damn thing.

You barely managed to stifle your laugh as he turned his head to meet your eyes, giving you such a fucking deadpan look like he was in The Office. “Next time we’ll fucking eat alone.”

AJSDFJKDFJKS OKAY.

The fact he kept including you in everything like it was the most natural thing in the world since Saturday? MADE YOU FEEL ALL KINDS OF SPECIAL.

Cheeks on fire, you chuckled and nodded toward his plate (which honestly looked like a bomb had gone off on it). “First, you gotta learn how to eat alone.”

Instead of snapping back, he just snorted, lips twisting into the cutest smile ever.

The rest of the lunch break actually went pretty smoothly. Luckily, the others mostly avoided any topic that might trigger Rafe (which was like, a solid two in total), and they even stayed away from talking about their night with Sarah and the Pogues.

Topper brought up the upcoming surf tournament again—the one he’d already mentioned last week at Kelce’s—and got kinda grumpy about the fact that the bruise on his face might still show up in the photos if it didn’t disappear by next week.

To which Cara simply said: “Don’t be such a baby. Just make sure they only shoot your other side. That one’s better anyway.”

“See,” Rafe added, looking at Topper. “Did you a favor.”

As soon as the bell rang, everyone got up to head to class.

Molly gave Kelce a kiss (they claimed they were only dating but yeah, wedding bells were ringing loud and clear), and headed off with Cara. You didn’t even get a real chance to say goodbye to Rafe and Topper because Kelce already started dragging you away, way too excited about the fact that Rafe was using TrackerBuddies again.

“He still hasn’t added me back, though,” he said with a slight frown as you walked down the hallway.

You chuckled, remembering they’d already had a plant together before but Rafe hadn’t watered it. “I’m sure he will. He’s probably still mourning the loss of your first plant.”

“Nah,” Kelce said, waving a hand with a grin. “He’s too busy with yours.” He nodded, impressed. “Level three already after just one day.”

Um, if he only knew Rafe kinda farmed the XP using real money. You definitely needed to tell him to stop doing that.

“Yeah, I think the only reason he re-joined that app was to beat your level with me,” you said, amused.

Kelce snorted. “Not surprised. If ‘competitive’ was a person, it’d be him.” He let out a laugh as you rounded the corner. “Back in 6th grade, he started surfing just to beat Topper.”

WAIT. RAFE COULD SURF??? OMFG.

The mental image of a wet, sunburnt Rafe in perfectly fitting shorts, riding waves and jogging back to shore with a surfboard under his arm, breathing heavy and—GIRL.

“And did he?” you asked, trying to chase away those unholy thoughts.

Kelce nodded, eyes wide. “Totally did. Dude devoured Topper with every wave. If he hadn’t quit after a month because he got bored of the sport, he probably could’ve gone pro.” His voice turned a bit more serious. “That’s the thing about him. He’s got so much potential, picks up on stuff so damn fast if he actually wants to. He could do so much more with himself but he just… doesn’t.”

Yeah, you’d noticed that too.

He crushed science and economics classes and even adapted quickly in art. Like when you were working on your collage? You only had to show him a few examples and he picked exactly the snippets you would’ve chosen. Not to mention his driving skills.

He already handled his Benz like he’d been born behind the wheel, but your dad’s Corvette? He adapted to that thing like it was second nature. Which, hot as hell.

Watching him drive in general? HOLY SHIT. That was one of the few times he got that concentrated, that focused and… ughhh you needed to chill.

“You and him are closer than he makes it seem, right?” you dared to ask, voice and expression full of genuine curiosity.

Kelce laughed. “I was his first friend in elementary school. He almost beat me up after I accidentally bumped into him.” A big grin spread across his face. “But I beat him up first and I guess that tamed him. He's still salty about it to this day.”

That made you laugh too, just as you came to a stop in front of your classroom. “I’m guessing that’s where the love-hate relationship between you two comes from.”

“Nah, that's his perspective,” Kelce replied with a soft smile, tapping his chest. “I love that guy, even if he acts like a rabid dog sometimes.”

You didn’t even get the chance to respond because Mrs. Richman was already calling the two of you into class.

Yay. Two hours of English with the way-too-enthusiastic teacher in her twenties who was already married and had two kids like OKAY.

And not even ten minutes into the lesson, your phone buzzed in your bag. Richman usually didn’t care, as long as you delivered during class.

So you fished your phone out of your bag and were immediately greeted by this absolute bomb:

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

What a fucking rollercoaster of emotions that conversation had been. Like, the literal heart spike that first picture alone had given you should’ve been enough to get you rushed to the ER.

AND THEN HE HAD THE AUDACITY NOT TO STRAIGHT-UP SAY HE WAS ASKING YOU OUT AS A DATE FOR THE GLOAMING, HELP OMG. 

For one tiny fucking second, you’d actually thought he was asking you out to be his girlfriend (the delusions were truly getting out of hand). OH MY GOD, YOU COULD STILL FEEL YOUR CHEEKS BURNING AND THAT TINGLY FEELING UNDER YOUR SKIN JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.

Okay no. This was too much.

And here you thought you’d mastered the art of being chill around Rafe and just being yourself, which—this nonchalant persona you’d projected during the chat? Yeah, that was just you gaslighting yourself into staying calm BUT OH. MY. GOD.

Rafe Cameron. Wanted. You. To. Be. His. Date. To. The. Gloaming.

That was.

Crazy.

Insane.

Absolutely batshit impossible.

LIKE HAD THE OTHERS MANIFESTED THIS JUST EARLIER??? OR HAD RAFE ACTUALLY FALLEN FOR THEIR 'LET'S MAKE HIM JEALOUS' TACTIC????

I’m fine :) Totally fine :)

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP PASSING OUT AHHHHH.

And god, AGAIN, how freaking clingy that guy was. It was kinda sweet and sad at the same time. He seemed genuinely excited about you, but also? The way he clung to you so tightly probably meant he was scared you’d slip through his fingers or whatever angsty stuff was going on in that boy’s brain.

The broken sound of his voice as he called after you last night, begging you to stay, still echoed in your head, making your chest clench whenever you thought about it.

However, you needed to set some boundaries. As much as you loved his attention, this couldn’t spiral out of control. Clingy was just a short step away from possessive and controlling. And since Rafe only did extremes and already had a tendency to slip into that kind of stuff real quick, you needed to be careful.

Not cold or distant, just a little more mindful.

Like when he mentioned having a claim on you for the Gloaming... Sure, yeah, he was the first to ask you out, and yeah, he technically had dibs since he wanted to give it another shot (and also he was your crush...so) but calling it a claim?

Hmm. Definitely a grey area.

HAHAHAHA. FUNNY.

From not even speaking to Rafe for literal years to friendship, cuddling, and (almost) being each other's dates for the Gloaming in just one week? Yeah.

The fact that your brain had kept up with all of that without combusting or exploding? Impressive.

“Miss Y/l/n?”

Startled, you looked up from whatever void you’d been staring into.

Shit.

Mrs. Richman was eyeing you with one brow raised and that well-known face that screamed I knew you weren’t listening.

Ughhhh.

Your face immediately flushed as the whole class turned to look at you, Kelce included, who gave you a huge shit-eating grin from the side.

Okay. No other choice.

You plastered on your friendliest teacher-face, a sheepish smile tugging at your lips as you said: “Sorry, could you repeat the question please?”

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿

“Why don’t you two just get it over with already and fuck?”

You let out a baffled laugh at Cara’s deadpan expression.

After school, you’d met up and decided to grab some smoothies at the beach. And well, obviously you’d filled her in on everything since last night after you and Rafe dipped.

Oh, and kinda everything before that too. Your little heated conversation, how you ended up cuddling again etc. etc. (you did skip the boner incident because... yeah).

AND. You respected Rafe’s wish not to tell anyone about Ruthie’s blackmailing. As much as your whole body was itching to tell Cara—because SHE would definitely know how to beat that bitch at her own game, and also she was your bestie, you usually told her everything—you kept quiet.

Luckily, she was solely focused on the fact that Rafe had asked you out for the Gloaming anyway.

“I’m serious, Y/n,” she said, blinking dramatically at you. “Like...” she gestured randomly through the air, “you like him, he likes you. You’re obviously into him, and he’s so down bad for you, too. And god, don’t even get me started on that tension between you two.” She shook her head, pointing both hands at you. “I don’t even get why you two agreed on this whole friendship thing when you could’ve just started dating.”

UM.

Another surprised laugh escaped your lips, and Cara frowned. “I mean, you basically went on three dates already, sooo.”

“C, what are you even talking about?” you asked with a chuckle, sipping your iced smoothie.

“He took you out on Saturday,” she replied, raising her brows. “Twice, actually. And last night? That was pretty much a date.” She started counting on her fingers. “Paid for your ticket and snacks, sat down with you on one of those couple lounge beds—”

“That was just a regular lounge bed.”

“For couples, yes. Anyway,” she went on, “you fucking cuddled! I’m genuinely shocked you two haven’t kissed yet. But whatever.” She held up four fingers. “And then you dipped together afterward. Tell me that wasn’t a date.”

Okay. She had a point. But.

“Rafe’s straightforward,” you said, playing with your straw. “If he wanted it to be a date, he would’ve said so.”

Cara shook her head with a smug uh-uh expression.

“What?” you asked, raising your brows.

“He’s nervous,” she said, and you almost laughed out loud. “He’s only ever had short little things with girls. But with you? You’re not into hookups or meaningless stuff, so he knows it’s either all or nothing.” She tilted her head, smiling crookedly. “Plus, it’d be his first real relationship as well, and he’s never actually dated anyone before.”

“C, please.”

Cara blinked. “What?”

“I get what you’re saying,” you said with a small smile, “but like I already said yesterday, I don’t wanna ruin this thing with him by jumping ten steps ahead.” You let out a slightly overwhelmed laugh. “I mean, I gotta adjust to this situation at first. And I wanna get to know him properly before I even start thinking about that kind of stuff.”

Cara nodded like a maniac, motioning at you. “Exactly. That’s what dating is for. Getting to know each other, spending time together, seeing who the other person really is.”

“So basically what we’re already doing,” you said, amused.

She slapped her hand on the table. “Girl, that’s exactly what I’m telling you. Just make it official already. Talk to him, say the obvious out loud, and tell him nothing needs to change but instead of calling it your little meetings hangouts, you’d like to call them dates.”

Why was she so good at being convincing? Oh right, there was a reason she was in the debate club.

And honestly? If you brought that up at the right moment and made it sound like a little joke, you could test the waters and see how he reacted and then actually talk about it.

AGAIN: With Rafe, you never had to be afraid of doing dumb shit or embarrassing yourself.

He literally didn’t care. He might joke about it for like a second, and then drop it.

And didn’t he just say earlier during the ride to school that he’d be open to something serious with the right person? And didn’t Kie say just yesterday that you could be that person? And didn’t she also say he was probably into you (which, hello, you still hadn’t fully spiraled over)? 

AND APPARENTLY EVERYONE ELSE THOUGHT YOU TWO WOULD BE PERFECT TOGETHER TOO??????

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. THIS WAS TOO MUCH FOR YOUR BRAIN TO PROCESS AND DIGEST.

“Just think about it,” Cara said, her tone soft this time. “I honestly think just the fact you’d have the guts to bring it up would make him submit instantly.”

You laughed. “I don’t want him to submit. Both sides should want it."

Cara shrugged, lips tugging down. “Couldn’t be me.”

“Yeah, speaking of,” you said, a huge grin spreading across your face. “How’s it going with Topper?”

And that’s how you spent the rest of the afternoon—chatting, giggling, and sipping on delicious smoothies on the wooden deck of Harry’s Smoothie Bar, overlooking the sea.

Cara told you all about how last night had gone for her. 

AKA how she cuddled with JJ during Barbie, how she later found out he shared a blanket with Pope during Transformers (jjpope confirmed?), how extremely whiny Topper had been in the first aid tent and how much he’d complained and sulked, ranting about Rafe the whole time.

How Cara had told him to shut the fuck up if he didn’t want her to leave, and how they were the only ones left after Kelce and Molly had dipped too, along with Sarah and the Pogues right after, because they wanted to go skinny dipping or something.

“God, I would've loved to join, but drama queen Topper obviously didn’t wanna come along,” she said, rolling her eyes. “So I stayed with his pitiful ass.”

Then she told you how impressed she was with Topper’s knowledge of politics and his take on the whole system, and how she’d almost considered blowing him in the toilet stalls for that but held herself back because she wanted to keep him on edge a little longer.

“He’s gotta work a little harder than just pulling this pathetic act,” she said.

You chuckled. “Don’t think it’s an act.”

“Yeah, no, me neither. Anyway…”

Eventually, you decided to head out—Cara had a hangout planned with Topper later (why was she allowed to call it a hangout??? whatever), and obviously, you were meeting up with Rafe.

Right on time, at 4 PM, you got home, said hi to your parents, and went straight to your room. HEART ALREADY RACING WITH EXCITEMENT AT SEEING HIM AGAIN (help I'm falling way too deep).

But when you pulled out your phone and sat down in your desk chair, a weird feeling started creeping into your chest.

Zero messages from Rafe.

You’d expected more weird or suggestive reaction pics he found on Pinterest, or maybe an update about how the conversation with his dad had gone but nothing?

Weird.

And you couldn’t help but wonder if it had gone that bad. Like bad enough for him to fall back into a coke-fueled high to drown his emotions like yesterday.

You'd kinda been ignoring his addiction and little criminal side hustle because just a boy doing dumb shit HAHAHAHA RIGHT, but if he was already—

The buzzing of your phone in your hand snapped you out of your near-spiral.

RAFE!

But he wasn’t texting you. NO THIS GUY WAS CALLING YOU.

HELP.

Okay okay everything’s chill, it’s not like this is the first time he’s calling me. GIRL YOU CUDDLED LAST NIGHT WITH HIM BFFR OMFG.

“Hey,” you answered, your voice pitched higher than it should be.

“Hey,” he said, chuckling. “You good?”

You nodded—AND THEN REALIZED HE COULDN’T SEE YOU—so you quickly said, “Yeah, Cara just dropped me off and I was getting ready.”

Another chuckle, though this one sounded… slightly off? “Aight. Just wanted to check if you're already home and let you know I'm gonna hop in the shower real quick, then I’ll head over. So I’ll be there in like 20.”

You very quickly pushed away the rush of images of RAFE IN THE FREAKING SHOWER and asked, totally normally: “Perfect. How’d things go with your dad?”

Oh no.

That pause said everything.

“Uh, yeah… maybe better if I tell you in person,” he replied awkwardly (?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!).

Um, no. He couldn't give you a teaser like that and just leave you hanging… for like a few minutes BUT STILL.

You let out a strained chuckle. “Short version?”

“Trust me, it’s better if I tell you—”

“Just tell me if it went well or not.”

Another pause. Then: “For you or me?”

UM WHAT.

Heart rate skyrocketed. Immediate panic rushed through your nerves. And you couldn’t help but wonder if this had something to do with Gracie.

“Uh, what?” you asked, forcing a smile into your voice.

ANOTHER FREAKING PAUSE.

“I mean… for me, it could be real good,” he said, sounding way too excited for some reason. “But that depends on you.”

THIS WAS GETTING WORSE BY THE SECOND.

You frowned. “Am I supposed to convince my dad to take the deal or what?”

Rafe chuckled. “Shit, no, don’t think that’s something he’d be into.”

DUDE.

“Then what? Just spit it out please.” Your nerves were about to snap if he kept dragging this out.

A cute laugh escaped his lips. “Alright, alright.”

AND THEN ANOTHER STUPID PAUSE, I’M ABOUT TO LOSE IT.

“Okay, uh,” he started, clearing his throat awkwardly. “You know the stuff Molly does around Kelce?”

Ummmmmmmmmmmmm.

“Being herself” you stated, completely tensed.

WHERE THE FUCK WAS THIS HEADING?

“Yeah, no,” Rafe said, letting out a nervous breath (HIM BEING NERVOUS ALWAYS MADE YOU 200% MORE NERVOUS). “That whole acting like she just chugged a love potion thing. Heart eyes, giggles, and shit like that, you know.”

UH-HUH.

“I don’t think she’s acting,” you said, smiling nervously, feeling your hands grow clammy. "Pretty sure that's called being in love."

Rafe let out a breath that was somewhere between a scoff and a chuckle. “Yeah, whatever.”

PAUSE.

And then he dropped the biggest bomb yet:

“I kinda need you to do the same.”

w h a t .

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿

K M S M A S T E R L I S T | <- P R E V I O U S | N E X T ->

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿

T A G L I S T F O R M (taglist for this series is CLOSED but you can sign up for my other stuff through this link)

@ursogorgeous13 @my-name-is-baby @moneybaby07 @jjasmiineee @sttaejoon-blog @vogueprincess @princesspeaxhh @wtfisastiles @wefelldowntherabbithole13 @rafes4 @kathryn-maraudersversion @wuluhwuhmaster @torturedtypewritersdept @sfotiegiuls @ltristessedureratoujours @stoned-writer @lunaleah @akobx @cokewithcameron @b00klvrs @rafesdrew @mattyskies @yktayy9669 @beabafreakbee @c1gsafterwhat @drewstarkeyswife-7 @wtfdudesblog @akobx @wintercrows @miaaaoa @setmefreemyg @pogueprincesa @chimchimjiminie16 @drewstarkeysrightarm @wtfdudesblog @wolfstarsimpxx @emmiesummers @brycesfav @ayy1234567 @rgeraldg @stanseventeen @louvrgirl @chaoticromantic @drewstarkeysrealwife @drewstarkeyswifehoe @psychicnatural @mysticbby2009 @oreocheescake-12 @miniiminie @drunkinthemiddleoftheday @drewstarkeyywife @persiar9

[dadsbongos]

How the mouthwashinglings fare with a possessive/clingy partner bc i am projecting

~

CURLY

Is it possible to groom a 40 year old man when you’re younger than him?? Probably, and it looks like you did it

No matter how early into your relationship, Curly cannot pick out any reason why his friends are so concerned with you

Honestly he gets annoyed when people question the imaginary leash you’ve got him on

Loves seeing a bajillion (seemingly innocuous) texts from you when he goes out with the guys. A flurry of thoughtless updates of your night and random ideas sandwiched around a not-so innocent “so who’s all there with you?”

I’ve mentioned it before but those little beeper bracelets for couples, he would absolutely wear one even if it was a full blown tracker

Would make excuses for your behavior too: “they’re just anxious! they just really love me! all the attention is kind of nice, actually!”

And god forbid anyone try asking if he’s done anything to make you this way. He firmly denies it, even getting a little offended, but then rationalizes your actions anyway: “people cheat on people all the time, it’s an understandable fear!”

Nobody can get through to him because he clearly loves it

JIMMY

THRIVES!

In a toxic way, though

Intentionally acts out to piss you off because he thinks it’s hot, the idea of what you’ll do to him when you get your hands on him

Turns off his location (which he always thought was immature anyway lol), talks to other people with that cocky grin and dark lidded eyes, tells you that his exes wouldn’t treat him this way

Secretly loves feeling so needed that you’ll die without him, it instills this sense of importance he’s never had before

So when he knows he’s gone way over the line, he’ll really baby you to make up for it

Still talks out of his ass because he’s not that gentle, but will cuddle you and tell you how badly he needs you in his life and how sexy your brand of crazy is

Psycho mfs your neighbors hate you

ANYA

NOT WELL!

Anya is arguably most well-adjusted person when it comes to romance and she can see the walking red-flag that you are

Initially she’ll try working around the little things to keep you happy, thinking if she can do just that then you’ll drop the nitpicking

Would have a deep conversation with you about it before breaking things off, which at THAT point if you just couldn’t resolve things she’d walk away

I can see that happening pretty early in the relationship, maybe even before you two are comfortable just popping up at each other’s places

DAISUKE

Probably similarly possessive, just to a lower key

Fully believes in sharing locations and having access to each other’s phones and telling each other exactly who is going to this party or that dinner

Because he also gets jealous, he actively avoids riling you up rather than instigating it

I can see him being one of those guys that tells you when people try hitting on him, usually when boys do that it comes off shitty but Daisuke is so overt

“Babe, this girl tried asking for my number but I told her I was taken and that she should kill herself!”

Honestly probably a relationship that starts when you’re both still 19-21 range and is not sustainable unless you two mature out of it

SWANSEA

Cannot, will not, does not tolerate that bullshit

He is too fucking old to be playing mind games and arguing with some teeny bopper brat about what bars he’s going to after work

HOWEVER he also doesn’t go anywhere besides work and friendly gatherings and he doesn’t have very many friends SO as long as you can temper it, he may not even notice

But he’s also close with his ex-wife especially because of the kids so you’ve got to get over that and if you can’t, he cuts it off pretty cleanly

Almost like a surgery, he can clinically extract you from his life with practically no emotion before sending you on your way

[hotyanderedaddies]

Yandere Werewolf Park Ranger Helps Search for "Lost" You

[Yandere! Werewolf! Park Ranger x Missing! GN Reader]

·゜·:.。..。.:·☆·゜·:.。..。.:·☆

"The search for missing hiker Y/N is still on going. The hiker has been missing for the past week and park officials are diligently searching..."

Park Ranger Wolf (yes, he finds the name ironic too) is Lupine National Forest's best tracker. Whenever a hiker goes missing, local law enforcement enlists his help.

The park ranger knows the forest like the back of his paw, knowing every twist and turn of the trails and able to track down any lost hiker with ease.

Ranger Wolf's werewolf senses permit him to hear the smallest footstep, crunching leaves and twigs alerting him to movement. And humans often wear deodorant and/or perfume, so all he needs is something to get a sniff of, and he's able to sniff his way towards his darling target.

He lives and breathes the forest, and even lives in his own personal cabin that he built with his own hands in the middle of the forest, resting right by the lake.

When you went mysteriously missing one morning, after going on a hike that you didn't return from, the local precinct immediately contacted Ranger Wolf to see if he could track you down.

Your family, eager to find you, provided the werewolf full access to your place, pleading with him to grab whatever he could so that he could get your scent memorized.

He happily shoved his nose into your pillow and underwear and deeply inhaled, instantly getting your scent committed to memory.

"I promise, I will find Y/N," Ranger Wolf told your parents, even placing a reassuring hand on your mother's shoulder.

Ranger Wolf would spend day and night out in the forest, the locals feeling slight relief knowing that he was on the case.

Since he had his cabin located out in the woods, he would stay out in the wilderness twenty-four/seven, only venturing back into town to pick up supplies and give a brief update to the police.

"Still nothing," he'd tell them, "but I won't give up."

"Thank you, Ranger Wolf," the police officer would say, "we really appreciate your help. I'm sure you'll find them in no time..."

·゜·:.。..。.:·☆·゜·:.。..。.:·☆

"Darling, I'm home!" Ranger Wolf called out as he entered the cabin, doing all of the locks that only he had the key for as soon as he was inside.

You jolted up from your seat and backed against a far corner in the windowless cabin that you were trapped in.

"They're still looking for you," Ranger Wolf chuckled as he began to take off his work uniform, "but don't worry, my love. I keep telling them that I have this territory handled, so no one will come here and try to take you away from me."

The large werewolf snickered for a second, his massive fangs gleaming in the faint light from the lantern that illuminated the tiny cabin he made the two of you share.

"I'd love to see anyone stupid enough to try to take you away from me," he growled.

He paused when he saw you huddled in the corner.

"Oh Darling," he frowned, "it's been a week and you're still afraid of me?" He held his large arms out towards you. "Why don't you come here and give Daddy his kiss?"

You didn't move.

"Darling?" Ranger Wolf/Daddy repeated, his voice deepening slightly, moving his fingers in a beckoning motion. "Come here, please."

You shook your head, trembling in your spot. You really wished that you hadn't strayed away from the trail and had gotten lost last week, only to be found by Ranger Wolf who'd immediately dragged you to his cabin to be his. He never lets you leave.

You're his.

"Come. Here," Ranger Wolf growled, narrowing his eyes at you as he grew impatient.

Not wanting to get punished again, you swallowed hard and took shaky steps across the floor towards the waiting werewolf.

Once you were within arm's reach, Ranger Wolf reached out and yanked you into his hold, cuddling you against his chest as he happily nuzzled you.

"Oh Darling," Ranger Wolf cooed, "I love you so much and I'm so happy that you're here with me. I promise that I'll take good care of you, and once you love me back, then I'll consider taking you into town. Then everyone will see what a cute couple we are: the lost hiker and the park ranger who saved them."

[pamwritessometimes]

Tuesday’s Gone — Chapter 1

Russell Shaw x reader

Summary: When the police does little to no help to find your missing daughter, you are forced to contact Colter Shaw. What you don’t expect is how his investigation will reveal secrets about both your past and your daughter’s, in ways you never imagined.

Warnings: missing child trope

A/N: Hello, beautiful people! I know most of you are waiting for another part of my Soldier Boy SMAU, but truth to be told, I have NO idea how to continue that story yet. I’m still waiting for the fanfic muse to kiss my face and tell me what to do. In the meantime, please, enjoy this little something that will end up being a mini series.

Title’s based on Tuesday’s Gone by Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Tuesday’s Gone masterlist

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You didn't know how to breathe. It felt just like if your lungs were under a press, making it more and more impossible to get oxygen minute by minute. Never in your thirtysomething of years ever thought you’d have to experience one of the greatest tragedies of life; your daughter, your whole world, just disappeared.

The detective in front of you was muttering some words your brain couldn't really register until now.

“Miss Y/L/N, you hear me?” he asked with a hint of concern. “I need you to tell me how you found out your daughter’s missing. Any detail could be crucial.”

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You stood outside the police station, staring blankly at the pale glow of the streetlights. Inside, the officers had told you  to "stay patient", to wait for updates. They’re doing everything they can, they said.

But it wasn’t enough.

Emma was only four, too young to be out of sight for this long.

She had disappeared right from your front yard, where you had only left her alone for a few moments to grab your phone. It had been late afternoon, and the neighborhood was quiet. No strange cars. No unusual noises. 

When you came back outside (just mere seconds later) Emma was gone. 

The police had checked the neighbors’ cameras, combed through the nearby area, and interviewed everyone around. But there were no leads. No ransom demands. No nothing. They were starting to treat it like a case that could stretch on for weeks or months.

But you couldn’t wait that long.

It was already taking too much time, and your mind went to places it never ever should have. Is she still okay? Is she scared— What a stupid question, of course, she’s scared. Up until now, her world was simple; just her mother and her. 

“Miss Y/L/N” a quiet voice came from behind your shoulder. You turned and see a policeman–Lt. Candero, according to his nametag. “I know I’m speaking against ourselves, but you have to understand. We have regulations to follow. Our hands are tied. But–” he started reaching for his back pocket “I might have someone to help you” he said and handed you a card. A name and a phone number.

Colter Shaw.

“He isn’t tied down like us. His methods may be a bit… unorthodox, but he helped to find my wife’s brother a few years back when our station couldn’t. He might be able to help you.” he said quietly, then looked around to see if nobody saw this exchange. 

You understood. Recommending a–what was this man again? A tracker? Recommending a tracker, it was probably against everything his profession stood for. You quickly looked down at the card and then back up to say your thank you, but he was already gone.

Colter Shaw. At first, the name didn’t strike you as unusual. Colter Shaw. Shaw. You hadn’t thought about this name for a while. Could this be a coincidence?  

Anyway, it wasn't the time to contemplate. You needed to find Emma.

And right now, this Colter Shaw was your best chance.

━━━━━━━━━━✦✧✦━━━━━━━━━━━

The night had settled in by the time he arrived. You watched from the window as he pulled up quietly in front of your house. You opened the door before he could even knock. 

"Miss Y/L/N?”

"Y/N” you corrected. “Thank you for coming" you said, stepping aside to let him in.

Colter gave a small nod as he entered, his eyes quickly glancing through the living room, taking in the space as though every detail might offer a clue. 

"Tell me again" he said as he sat down on the couch. It was clear he was drawing out details the police may have missed. "Everything you remember from the moment she disappeared."

You sat down on the couch next to him, clasping your hands together in an attempt to keep them from shaking. "It was late afternoon. Emma was playing with her dolls on the porch while I ran inside for just a minute to grab my phone. When I came back out, she was gone. I called for her, searched the yard, but she wasn’t there. The gate was closed. She couldn’t have left on her own." Your voice cracked as you remembered back at the ominous moment. "I searched the whole neighborhood. Cried and screamed even. No one saw her."

Colter listened intently, not interrupting you. There was something in his eyes that made you feel as if he wasn’t just absorbing the details, but he was already a few steps ahead. He was thinking of possibilities you or the police couldn’t see yet.

"There was no one around?" he asked.

You shook your head. "No strangers, no cars I didn’t recognize."

Colter nodded, as though that detail confirmed something in his mind. "This wasn’t random" he finally said. "Whoever took her had been watching. They knew your routine, her routine."

Your heart skipped a beat. Why would anyone stalk you? Or worse, why would anyone stalk Emma?  "But why? Why would anyone—"

"People take children for a lot of reasons" Colter interrupted with a careful tone. "But this feels targeted. Whoever did this knew what they were doing. And that means they’ll make mistakes. I’ll find them."

You nodded feeling a flicker of hope at his confident words. "What— what do we do now?"

"We start with the yard" Colter said, standing up. "I need to retrace what happened. Look for signs the police might’ve missed. After that, I’ll want to speak to the neighbors, anyone in the area who might’ve seen something they didn’t realize was important."

You stood, watching as he moved toward the front door. Your mind was racing. How could this be targeted? Who would target you? And why? You were no one special — a single mother living with her four-year-old in the suburbs of Idaho Falls. Had no enemies — except for the occasional work rivalries between you and some of your colleagues, but other than that, your life was plain and simple.

"You really think this wasn’t random?" you asked Colter, following him outside.

He paused by the door, glancing back at you. "I’ve seen this before. This kind of precision. Someone planned this, and that means there’s a reason. We just have to find out what it is."

As you stepped outside, you couldn’t shake the creeping fear that this was bigger than you had imagined. It felt deliberate, like someone had been watching, waiting for the right moment. But why Emma? What did they want?

Colter crouched near the edge of the yard, running his fingers along the ground. You stood nearby, watching as he scanned the area. The yard looked so ordinary, so unchanged. But to Colter, it seemed to hold details you hadn’t noticed, things the police had overlooked.

"So she played here, right?” he asked and then you nodded. “Footprints here" he muttered, pointing to a small section of dirt near the gate. "Different size from the ones around it. Someone stood here recently."

"The police didn’t mention any footprints."

"They wouldn’t" Colter said, standing up. "They’re looking for obvious signs, not subtle ones."

As he moved toward the gate, you felt a heavy weight pressing down on your shoulders. You couldn’t breathe, again. Whoever had taken Emma had planned this. They had been watching her, your daughter, knowing exactly when to strike. But who? And why? 

You kept repeating these two questions.

As if reading your thoughts, Colter turned to you. "This isn’t over, Y/N. Whoever did this left a trail. I just have to find them."

You nodded, but deep down, something still gnawed at you. Your guts were telling you that there was more to this.

And for the first time, you wondered if your daughter had been taken not because of who she was, but because of something — or someone — she didn’t know.

“Tell me about her father” Colter said, still scanning the area.

You froze for a moment. You had expected him to ask about Emma’s father. But not yet, at least. You stared at him, trying to figure out how much to say. How much did he know? Or was he just following a hunch?

"Sometimes, the past has a way of catching up to people, even when they’ve left it behind" he added.

"He left" you said. "Before I even knew I was pregnant. I haven’t heard from him since."

It wasn’t a complete lie. Russell had been gone for years, disappearing from your life before you even knew you were pregnant.

Well, maybe he didn’t disappear, maybe you pushed him away. But you had your reasons… reasons you weren’t ready to share with Colter.

He was never part of Emma’s life, never even knew she existed. But you couldn’t shake the feeling that Colter might be right. Maybe this was connected to Russell.

Colter’s expression didn’t change at your revelations, but you could sense his mind was working, putting pieces together. He wasn’t asking for the emotional history; he was looking for facts, details that might explain why someone would take Emma.

"What was he like?" Colter asked, leaning forward slightly. "Did he have enemies? Anything that stands out in your memory?"

“He...” you started. “He never talked about his past. He was… secretive. Once I–” you took a deep breath, contemplating how much to share. “I realized he lied to me. About his job. And… and I told him to get out of my house, my life” you said. It was an insanely outlined version of your story, but you hoped it was enough.

"And…no contact since then?" Colter asked.

You shook your head. "Nothing. Not a single word.”

For a moment, you both fell silent. You could see Colter’s mind turning, sifting through the information, trying to make sense of it. Then, his voice broke the screaming silence.

"Y/N, I need you to think carefully. Is there any chance —any at all — that this could be connected to him?"

You felt a cold shiver run down your spine at the question. You had tried so hard to convince yourself that Russell was just a chapter in your past, that he had nothing to do with the life you had built with Emma. But now, with your daughter missing, the nagging doubt inside you was just impossible to ignore.

"I don’t know" you admitted finally.

Once again, you couldn’t help but think of the name that had been haunting you since this shitstorm began. Shaw. Colter’s last name was the same as Russell’s, and though you hadn’t asked, the possibility plagued your mind. Could Colter be connected to Russell? Could he know more about your past than he was letting on?

You didn’t dare ask. Not yet. Not until you had more answers. But the question stayed in the back of your mind.

And now, the only person who could help you find Emma might be the one with answers you were afraid to uncover.

After taking a deep breath, you said. “He was dealing with… some dangerous people.”

"Who?" Colter asked, his voice low but firm, pushing gently. "What kind of people?"

“It’s– uh, it was some organization, I think. I don't know what they do specifically…” you stammered. “Russell said it was Horizon or something.”

Colter's face tightened. Horizon? The Horizon Group? And Russell?

Something flashed in his eyes. Recognition, most likely. For a brief moment, his usually composed expression fell, and he looked away, as if piecing together a connection.

"Russell..." Colter said, his voice quieter now, almost as if testing the name. He took a step back, his mind clearly working through the sudden flood of new information. "What did you say his last name was?"

This was it. The moment you had been dreading, the one you had skirted around ever since you first heard his name. "Shaw" you said, barely above a whisper. "His last name was Shaw."

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Phew. We’re in for a ride.

As always, I appreciate any kind of feedback.🤍

xx Pam

Read Chapter 2 here

[returnofeternity]

tfem!nat accidentally getting you pregnant and lowk freaks out but she's so sweet and doting... 💔 wants to be the best parent to the baby and best gf to you so she does literally ANYTHING you need and doesn't let you lift a finger.

i know she'd be the best mom ever </3 the trope of characters who had a terrible childhood but are amazing parents....that's nat i think. she'd do everything in her power to give her kid the best life that she couldn't have ☹️

she panics and freaks out so bad when you show her the positive pregnancy test, and she offers to work a few extra shifts, or even jobs to afford the abortion :( feels even worse when you tell her that you're thinking of keeping it 😭 she'd never force you to get an abortion either!!!! she just sits you down and spills her guts out about how she's so nervous and kind of excited about this but doesn't think she'd be a good mom. i don't think she'd be the type to tell you to think about keeping it or not, she knows she's the one who got you pregnant, but it's your body and she'll be with you regardless :3

the anxiety gnaws at her stomach for days, while you think about it, not because of her words, but you actually need to think about it. because is your tiny apartment suitable for a baby? do you even have money to afford a better one? do you think you'd be a good mom?

i think it'd be really sweet if natalie was the one who convinces you to keep the baby in the end ☹️☹️☹️

thinking about her going to checkups with you and when the doctor tells you how big it is, comparing it to fruit or whatever, that's ALWAYS the baby's nickname for the month 🥺 calling it "my little apple seed" while talking to it, always updating the pregnancy tracker app she has installed to whatever fruit it is that week/month :( GAHHH.

she nearly passes out from happiness when she sees the ultrasound bro. she has a picture of her "raspberry" in her wallet :((

barely even lets you help her build the crib -__- she doesn't want you bending down and hurting your back. it's ironic because she ends up complaining about how sore her back is the next day 😭

you KNOW she gets smug and tells you allll about it when she plays her gay little playlists to the baby and it stops crying.. also! she's the first one up when the baby cries!! especially after you just gave birth :(

[academicazura]

🌿 Azura’s Weekly Review 🌿

You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you - Hook (1991)

Week 1 of Documenting My Life 30/06/25 - 06/07/25

1. Reflections

Highlights: 🌟My return to tumblr - this community is always so amazing 🌟Back to studying, not fully but a good place to continue from 🌟Making creative meals, reading great books, loving all the Hogwarts music/ambience videos

Challenges: 🔻So much struggling with my health this week, sad to leave out a lot of physical activity as well 🔻Juggling studies, all the chores and trying to find some time for myself 🔻Feeling scattered, and misplaced somehow. Like I'm in the wrong place constantly

Lessons Learned: 📍Trying to adjust to my body needing to slow down 📍Showing up as I am, even when I'm not in full health 📍Learning to be flexible, even when it's not what I planned

Mood:😔

Focus: ✅ Goodness ❎ Consistency ✅ Beauty

2. Progress

Body and Health Having heart issues currently. Seemingly out of nowhere as I have been sticking to regular meal times, so it's been hard to deal with. It makes me feel powerless when I try to do everything right, and things still go backwards. Doing what I can to take care of myself. One positive is that I am not extremely tired every day anymore!

Creative Work Set up July for my journal, a little late as I always am these days, but I am fine with the empty spaces in my trackers, because the consistency of other times is the progress that's real.

Very surprised that this post did so well, although looking back at it, it was a well balanced and highly productive day even though none of the days last week really felt like it. I'm so happy to be blogging again, I have no words to describe it.

Study & Growth Got my study system working - I have a good plan scheduled, and it's set up in a way that's easy to update weekly based on my progress. I colorcoded all the courses and set up a notes taking system in a notebook I had lying around for quick notes about the most important things.

Adulting is so hard, and sometimes I feel like an octopus trying to take care of myself and juggle all the responsibilities. This week's progress was diet related - I upped my intake and switches in diet are difficult to figure out and emotionally challenging, but by the end of the week I was fine with eating more to support my health.

Reading & Media Finished this week: Maanalainen näkötorni, Claes Andersson

In progress: Skin and Other Stories, Roald Dahl; At Dusk, Hwang Sok-yong; Omahyvä (ja omalaki), Risto Ahti.

Current obsessions: The so called "adult cartoons", I'm rewatching Bob's Burgers for the millionth time, and American Dad! for the first time. I'd love to rewatch Daria again at some point, but right now I just can't justify so many series'...

3. Looking Ahead

Focus for Next Week: Well-being, Dedication and Imagination

Goals: 🌟Achieve my week's study goals 🌟Finish 2 books and watch 1 film 🌟Decorate my hair brush

For next week: Trying to improve my evening rhythm so I can fall asleep better, and balance studying with breaks instead of an all-or-nothing mentality.

4. Action Plan

Body & Health 1. Keep up regular meal times and monitor health issues. 2. Stretching and foam rolling, especially on rest days.

Creative Work 1. Decorate my hair brush. 2. Daily tumblr posts and weekly review.

Study & Growth 1. Complete study tasks for the week. 2. Take intentional breaks.

Reading & Media 1. Finish 2 books. 2. Watch 1 film.

5. Dreaming Of...

🌟Cozy study moments with ambient music 🌟Homemade bread with butter 🌟The seaside, seashells and the smell of salt in the air

[carmenized-onions]

It’s been a little while since you’ve posted on here so I hope you are doing well and taking care of yourself!!! 💖

my darling loves, I'm so sorry

I'VE BEEN SO EMBARRASSED. I HAVEN'T WANTED TO SHOW MY FACE AROUND THIS TOWN BECAUSE I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SHOW FOR MYSELF AFTER TAKING SUCH A LONG TIME AWAY FROM YOU ALL.

I've been. violently busy. in a good way, mostly. One of my jobs is the best job in the world and the other one is such a bitch it makes me scream every day forever.

but i'm also spending time with friends and enjoying life !

My mom also finished her last chemo appointment just a few weeks ago!!! YIPEEE!!!! Her CT Scans look GOOD!! so no chemo for the foreseeable future. She's unfortunately got the type of cancer that doesn't go away, but at the very least, it's MANAGEABLE. And that's a huge win. I'm very very grateful.

I ALSO FOUND A THERAPIST!!! gone to 2 sessions so far. every session she uncovers a new fucked up facet of me and honestly, can anyone else relate to this, it's sort of nice for someone else to look at your life and go like "oh wow. oh wow there's like. there's like so much here." like it feels good to think oh hurray. i'm not crazy. life IS fucked!

MY BROTHER MOVED!!! this took up a lot of my time, honestly. i love him and my nephew and my sister in law dearly. so i spent a long time making their gifts. i'm silly.

OUR CAT GOT SICK!!! HE'S GOT PEE CRYSTALS CAUSE HE'S OLD!!!!! HE'S DOING OKAY NOW THOUGH!! HIS STUPID URINARY FOOD IS SO EXPENSIVE THOUGH!!!

ANYWAYS. those are my major life updates right. So what's with the no chapter happening??

i. hated. the draft i'm working on so much. that i didn't work on it for like. a month.

and then in a haze. i left myself this voice to text note in my notes app as i was falling asleep one night.

then i hated that too. a week passes. perhaps two, actually.

i finally gain the courage one night to read my draft over.

it's actually not bad at all

it's actually pretty good

some scenes definitely need reworking but that's because i need to fully realize some character feelings

I just had really intense writers' block and fatigue, honestly. But i'm finally writing and EXCITED about it, again. I'm pulling that shit up on my commute and writing whenever i can. which makes me really happy. i was not loving the way it felt like a chore, for a minute there.

that said.

100% going to be more realistic with this chapter waiting timeline, and put a 'hiatus' or some sort of 'delays' tracker on my landing page. cause like. i keep saying check back in 2 weeks. and that's not fair to me or you girl. let's keep it real.

i think we're like.... hm... 50-60% there. (i'll update my landing the day after this post, it's late and i'm eepy)

i MIGHT write some blurbs in the mean time, it really depends. i keep having ideas and then they blink out of existence. perhaps send ideas. i might do something with them.

BUT YES I AM OKAY AND ALIVE. My silence came from a LOT of life stuff getting in the way and also a lot of honestly embarrassment. i hate coming out here over and over and being like haha. i've got nothing <3

but i know that y'all will understand, and i need to trust in y'all's patience more. and i'm GONNA!!!

gonna try to start up my 'answering one ask a day' trend again. except wednesdays. i work late on wednesdays so fuck that. but perhaps all the other days you'll hear from me.

alright. i'm going to shut up now. was any of this coherent? i don't know. thank you for listening!! i missed you dearly!!

[scalematey]

a list of my fave d20 fic-off 2025 fics :]

decided to make a little list of some of the fics that i want to highlight/i think really cooked this year. also because there are just, so many of them.

anyway. these aren't sorted in any particular order of favouritism but i wanna give a little bit of commentary on each one!

Don't you wanna see what you've been missing? by Luvo (archive-locked) fantasy high, riz-centric, one-shot, 11k+

this fic made me feel like, true and proper crazy. i've literally been thinking about this for weeks. luvo kept mentioning "evil love potion fic" in chat and YEAH that's basically what it is. riz gets dosed with a love potion (he's aroace and he's not having a fun time about it). extremely tightly executed all-around, so, so good.

Shelter by Awesome_Sauce432 (archive-locked) fantasy high, lucy-centric, one-shot, 40k+

i highly urge everyone to read olive and eren's entire wizardswap au because it makes me feel SOOO bonkers but this fic. this fic!! in this au lucy gets shatterstarred and the slow transformation and buildup to it plus the final scenes with the goddess fallout make me want to chew glass.

i'd take your dreams and make 'em multiply by lunarblazes the unsleeping city, pete & kingston, one-shot, 2k+

this class-swap au is so snappy and it is so chef's kiss. there is something about way that luna does descriptive language that is so BUTTERY SMOOTH. their dynamic is really fun i love pete and kingston.

AITA for giving a second chance to the guy that attacked me and my friends? by ItsJustKade (archive-locked) fantasy high, inkblade, multi-chap, 2k+

watching this fic update in real-time was so. jesus christ man. i don't think the 2k word count does it justice because i urge you to open the comments on every single chapter for commenters rping as fantasy redditors. one of the funniest fics i read the whole of fic-off from everyone trying to be the silliest clown at the circus.

"dude, that shrimp is frying rice." and bread. eggs. milk. lobster? by ardentarchivist (serenescribe) fantasy high, both ficlets, TBK-centric, <1k each

cheating a little because these are the two ficlets i sent ell prompts for so of course i'm biased BUT ell did SUCH a fantastic job with both of these they are SO silly goofy funny. the dialogue is so sharp!! big fan of saint larry i miss him every single day.

anywhere you're gonna be by godmarked (archive-locked) the unsleeping city, pete/oc, 3k+

when i tell you that i'm obsessed with zack's oc charlie. i really do mean it, i'm obsessed with her whole thing, she's so COOL augh. this is actually a sequel to a fic that zack wrote LAST fic-off so if you need context go read that first BUT i just like them and this has nothing at all to do with pete being my favourite TUC PC. anyway. the worldbuilding here is so FUNNN.

Creek Angel by rratking fantasy high, trackerbees, multi-chap, in-prog, 3k+ (so far)

i still think about this fic frequently. this is a little kristen goes to helioc summer camp kidfic au which is just, SO so heartbreaking. the way that bird gets kristen and tracker makes me actively nauseous if i have to think about it for more than 2 seconds. read creek angel it makes me feel crazy btw.

Required Worksheets of Aguefort by castlesonclouds and Artistkitty (archive-locked) fantasy high, gen, multi-chap, 2k+, 13 worksheets lol

this deserves a shoutout because it is SUCH a good tool for building fhsonas and other miscellaneous d&d ocs that i felt like it was worth mentioning. also because castles and patch put puzzles on the rogue worksheet and i like doing puzzles. the effort!! the creativity!!

the entire aguefort gym that makes you gay tag because what the hell was that fantasy high, 27? 28? fics

like a week or two before fic-off i posted a bingo board in the server that included "fic-off compliant lore" and i'm proud to say that we've done it folks, it's all love now.

the section of the collection that is just a cascade of shorter fics from when everyone tried to fight for met the brief and concluded with The Tragedy of the Barrys by wolfsongrevival look they were fighting for shortest fic okay the fic is one word long

the day after i posted my 24 word fic, riya posted a 23 word fic, and this all happened while i was out at dinner and then suddenly like 7 different people posted fics of decreasing word count. you just had to be there man. they're never gonna bring back the superlative after this.

i haven't read all the fics in the collection btw, these are mostly extracted from the ones that i managed to actually read during the month. i'll get around to reading all of the rest eventually but there are so many of them!! and these aren't even all the good fics because there are SO MANY OF THEM i mostly tried to keep it to one fic per writer.

anyway collection plug here if you want to read more of these but i'm also kind of writing this post for myself so that i can come back and revisit them. what a blast. :)

[wake-me-up-inside-imagines]

Hello !!!! Could you write something about Yan!Charlie, please ? Maybe something about another powerful mafia leader falling in love with Charlie's love, or maybe about his love trying to escape ? Idk anything about my husband :'(

You're an amazing writer ! Keep up the amazing work !

Thank you, and sure thing! I got a similar request from another anon (specifically what Charlie would do if his darling tried to escape and another mafia leader found out and kidnapped them), so I'm gonna combine your escape request with theirs, I hope you don't mind!

Yandere! Charlie when his darling escapes and is kidnapped

Gn! reader

Warnings: Yandere character, typical mafia violence, kidnapping, murder, non-graphic abuse towards reader (not done by Charlie, dw), suicidal ideation, implied planned suicide attempt, blood, stalking, guns.

Banner credit goes to @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

When Charlie finds out you've escaped, his is pissed. Where did you go?! How could you have possibly bypassed all the security measures he put in place specifically to keep you safe and in the house?! Why would you want to escape when he's done nothing but shown you love and affection?! How could you do this to him?!

And then the self loathing kicks in. He must have done something, right? You wouldn't have gone through all the effort of escaping his high security home if he hadn't done something wrong, right? So what was it? Did he scare you? Were you afraid of being with someone with such a risky, dangerous job? Did the prospect of what he does to others terrify you to the point where you had to escape? Did you think he would hurt you, or kill you, or anything like that? Was living with him, being married to him, really all that bad?

without a second to spare, Charlie sends out every trained tracker at his disposal to find you, threatening to gut them as slowly as possible if they return without you. He knows you can't have gone far, there's only so much a distance you can cover on foot, and besides, how are you supposed to do anything without money? He has control over your previous bank account, and you certainly don't have any access to his, so how are you going to go anywhere? Still, he sends out a couple guys to search a farther, larger area, just in case a hitchhiker picked you up, or someone took pity on you and gave you enough money to use public transportation.

While his underlings are doing that, he's scanning every inch of the house in hopes of finding out how you escaped. Not a single inch of the house is left unturned, he will find out how you left, and he will make sure that you can never repeat that escape route again. Any and all weaknesses his security has are fixed within the day, insuring that once you're safely home, you'll never be able to bypass his cameras again.

He's a ball of rage and sadness for however long it takes to get you back. He's blaming you, he's blaming himself, he's blaming his employees, he's blaming the world, he's blaming anything with a pulse. His emotions flip like a switch, sometimes he's violently angry, but other moments he's horribly depressed. If he wasn't so focused on getting you back, he would have spent all his time in your bed, unable to move in the wake of his overwhelming emotions. He needs you back, he needs you back NOW.

He can feel himself inching closer towards the brink of insanity each hour you're away. He's constantly checking for updates on your whereabouts, growing increasingly unstable when each check in results in absolutely no new information being gained. His threats get more and more deranged with each failure to find you, his mind running through all the worst case scenarios he can think of. You couldn't be dead, could you? No, no, they would have known for sure if that were the case. Did you go to the police? No, you weren't that stupid. You knew he had insiders in the local department, it would have been runaway suicide to go to them. But if you weren't dead, or hidden away somewhere, than where could you possibly be?

Several days pass by, and there's still no sign of you anywhere. Charlie himself spends all day personally trying to track you himself, and still, there's no sign of you. Charlie's hysteria only gets worse, significantly so, to the point where he's seriously considering ending it all if he can't find you in the next couple of days. Without you, he has no reason to live. Life had no meaning. You were the shining light in the long, dark tunnel that was his life, and without that light, he has no reason to go on. His job brings him no pleasure, nor do his riches. He has no friends, no family, and no way to escape his position. Everything he did was for you, and now you're gone. He can't go on without you, he won't, if he can't have you then he won't have anything, please, he needs to find you before he loses it, he NEEDS-

Charlie was quite literally only a couple of seconds away from grabbing the gun strapped to his waist and blowing his brains out when they find you. Or well...They find what happened to you.

To Charlie's dismay, you aren't with the men who found out where you could be. He demands an explanation as to why they showed their faces without you in tow, but grows incredibly quiet when the people in front of him report that you've been kidnapped by a rival mafia leader. No wonder you had been hard to find. There was another organization covering your tracks, hiding you away from Charlie for their own personal benefit.

Charlie learns a lot of new things that day. He learns that unfortunately, one of the rival mafia's men had slipped through the cracks of his defences and become a spy for his rival, reporting back to the other leader whenever necessary. And unfortunately, because of how well known you are amongst Charlie's members, it didn't take long for the spy to figure out who you were.

He found out that as soon as word of your escape got out, the other organization immediately started hunting for you, planning to capture you and extort your connection with Charlie for money and power.

He found out that the organization found you, and now, you were with them, tied up somewhere in an undisclosed location. The only reason they knew you had been captured in the first place is because Charlie has his own spy within the rival mafia, and a pretty high ranking one at that.

Charlie is beyond furious when he finds out where you are. How dare his rival kidnap you and use you! How dare he put you in such danger! And how dare that spy!

He's so beyond angry that he can't even formulate words for several minutes, running his hand over his face and pacing around the room frantically, trying to think up a plan. When he's finally able to speak again, he orders half the men present to find that rival spy and bring him here, and the other half to find their own personal spy and tell him to figure out where you are and who is with you as soon as possible. Now that he knows where you are, he’s wasting no time in getting you back. He won’t let you suffer in the hands of his rival, he swears it.

Before he can get his report back though…he gets a message.

It’s a video of you, tied down to a rickety old chair in some unknown building. Your eyes are covered, but Charlie doesn’t need to see them to know how utterly terrified you are. You’re shaking, as much as your restraints allow you to at least, your normally untouched skin dark with bruises. There’s a guard on either side of you, guns in hand, and as the recording goes on, you’re quickly pulled out of frame, replaced by the big man himself.

Demands are made, but Charlie isn’t listening. All he can think about is you, you and your bruised, trembling body. Despite all the anger he harbors towards your escape, he's overwhelmed with fear and sadness. You've been hurt and bound, left helpless at the hands of his rival. The knowledge that you could be fatally injured or at least seriously wounded is not lost on him. He needs to figure out how to get you back, he needs to devise a plan to save you, he-

It doesn’t take long for him to get a report from his personal spy. This person is someone who his rival trusts after all, someone who’s been worming his way up to the top for years, all under the guise of a loyal right hand man. It was child’s play for him to figure out where you were being kept, even being bestowed the honor to guard you, a decision that Charlie would take full advantage of.

The second Charlie gets the report, he’s preparing for war. He’s not leaving anything up to chance. He knows he’s dealing with someone with a significant amount of power, so he’s getting the most skilled, deadly, dangerous people under his command to accompany him in bringing you home. He won't risk your safety any more than he has to, as much as he wants to tear the building apart and murder anyone in his sight, his main priority is getting you out of there in back home safely. Everything else can come after.

As soon as everyone's armed and ready, they're heading out to save you. Charlie makes sure to keep everyone as undercover as possible in case his rival becomes alert to their plan, only revealing themselves when they get the building you're being kept in. By the time Charlie's spy lets him and his crew in, it's too late for anyone to do anything.

Once in the building, Charlie makes no effort in hiding his presence. He's too pissed to care. He's shooting at any and every living thing that isn't one of his own men, taking down every and any goon who stands in his way. The rival mafia's forces can try to take him down, but chances are they'll be dead before they can get to him, and even if they aren't, a few bullet wounds won't stop Charlie. He's too high off of anger and adrenaline to care. All he can focus on is getting to you.

Charlie and his group travel through each and every room together, too cautious to let anyone stray on their own. Some of Charlie's employee's try to convince him to go back to the car and wait for them, that he's too hurt to carry on but Charlie brushes them off, snapping that he's not leaving until he finds you. He'll gladly bleed out right then and there if it means you'll come home.

Eventually, pretty much every goon hiding in the building is eliminated, minus the ones that are presumably guarding you. A couple of Charlie's men have fallen with them, but Charlie doesn't really care. Their lives were a means to an end, and hopefully, that end would result in your safe return. All they have to do now is find where they're keeping you.

The spy brings Charlie to the room where you're presumably being held, and without hesitation, Charlie kicks down the door, drawing his gun and aiming at anyone who isn't you. There are two guards beside your still-bound form, but within seconds they're laying dead on the floor, gunshot wounds going straight through their heads. Charlie can feel his heart hurting as he watches you flinch with every gun shot, but he reminds himself that this is all necessary to get you back, however scary it may be for you.

As soon as the guards are dead, Charlie's rushing towards you, fumbling with your restraints with shaky fingers. He gets increasingly frustrated when he can't undo them on his own, the blood loss from his bullet wounds beginning to get to him. His employees have to help him out, cutting you free and removing the blindfold that's been covering your eyes for who knows how long.

The second you're free, Charlie's grabbing onto you, bringing you into the most aggressive hug you've probably ever received. He won't let you go for what feels like forever, simply holding you to him, rocking your bodies back and forth while he soaks up your warmth. He's hurt, he's hurt badly, but right now, his priority is you, and reassuring you that your safe now, you're ok. He's not gonna let you go.

It's not until his employees surround him and you, urging him to leave, that he breaks away from you, but even then it's not by much. He's got one hand in yours, and one hand on his gun, refusing to let his guard down, even though he's successfully retrieved you. He would have carried you out of there, but with the injuries he's obtained, it's probably not a good idea. Still, he's determined to protect you, to keep you safe from anyone else that may be lurking in the building. Unfortunately, it appears the rival mafia leader managed to escape the building before Charlie got to him, but that's ok. Charlie can deal with him later. Right now, his priority is you.

The group only comes across a couple more people from the rival mafi, but they're swiftly dealt with, leaving a clear and quick path out of the building and back to the cars. The second you get into Charlie's car, the driver's speeding off, driving as quick as he can to the nearest hospital to get you and Charlie treated. All the while, Charlie's gripping onto you, refusing to let you go. He can tell you're still scared, and he's determined to remedy that the best he can.

It takes a lot of convincing to get Charlie to release you long enough to get treated. He's on the verge of passing out from blood loss, but all he cares about is you, and your safety. He doesn't trust anyone to be with you, but he finally allows himself to be pulled away when a nurse reminds him that it'll be hard to treat you with someone clinging onto your body the way he is, and that letting you go is what's best for your recovery. On his way out, he weakly promises you that he'll be back as soon as he can, and that he'll make sure you get the best care imaginable. His eyes are on you until he can no longer see you, and even then he's still looking in your direction, desperate for any visible trace of you.

It takes a couple hours for Charlie to get stitched up fully, but as soon as he does, he's rushing as quick as he's allowed to to be back at your side. Thankfully your injuries weren't as severe as his, only bruises and a broken bone or two, so you're already healed up by the time Charlie makes his way back to you. He's attaching himself right back to your side the second he sees you, he needs your touch more than anything after the long, horrible days filled with nothing but your absence.

Once he's sure everything's ok with both of you, Charlie takes you home. He doesn't yell at you, he doesn't scold you, he doesn't even say anything about your escape, but despite how cautious he's trying to be, you still look utterly terrified of him. He hadn't fully understood why you would be so scared of him before, not really, because despite his job, he had never, and would never, hurt you in any way, and he thought you knew that. But after all this...

He gets it. He gets it in a way he never considered before, and that understanding causes the most intense wave of guilt to envelop him. Yeah, he's never hurt you before, but he could. He's fully capable of it, and he knows you know he is. He's probably no different from his rival, not in your eyes, because despite their rivalry, they essentially do the exact same thing. Hell, Charlie's done disturbingly similar things to others in comparison to what the rival mafia did to you. He's done worse than what they've done to you. It feels different to him because he knows he would never do anything to you, but you don't know that. In your mind, you could end up just like any other person Charlie deals with at any moment. You didn't try to escape because Charlie had done something wrong towards you, you tried to escape because he could do something towards you. Sure, he had been nothing but kind to you, but how were you supposed to trust him? After all he had done, and was doing, even while you were with him, had he really given you a reason to?

Charlie won't punish you for your escape attempt. He was already unlikely to do so anyway, since he figured that would just make you more scared of him, but now, he's even more determined to earn your trust. Besides, you got kidnapped and injured by an extremely dangerous individual, which must have been a horrifying experience to live though. In his book, that kind of fear was punishment enough. He just hopes you'll be less likely to try and escape in the future, now that your first attempt went so wrong.

As much as it pains him to do so, Charlie gives you your space. For a while, at least. He fears that forcing you to interact with him will only cause your terror of him to grow, and that's the last thing he wants, especially after all you've gone through. He does reassure you that he's not upset with you, and you have no reason to fear him, but he understands that you aren't going to trust him right away simply because he told you you should. It's going to take time to gain your love and trust, and he's determined to do it right this time.

He won't try to rush anything anymore. He's gonna go at your pace, because at the end of the day, if that's what gets him your love, than it'll be worth it.

Oh, and uh... as for that traitorous spy, and his rival for that matter, well... don't worry about it. He's got a plan for them. One he'd rather you not get involved in.

Don't worry about it. Everything's going to be fine, he swears it.

I hope you enjoyed!

[ganondoodle]

been trying to do some pixel art bc after putting another 60+ hours into stardew valley the want to make a stardew like game but *my* way is strong again ... but i keep getting hung up on thinking about game mechanics (screenshot at the bottom .. sorry for makign this so long again ..)

at some point i thought the whole minecraft aspect is probably impossible to add into a 2d pixel game and im better off to cut that idea out of my head and instead make a dedicated area in which you can build stuff more costumizable and make the rest a more static thing id built so the worlds have more character and theres less problems with NPC pathing (since i dont want you to be able to escape Eadryas wrath if you overstay your welcome by building yourself into a circle or collision boxes .... though they would destroy anything in their path to you either way.. still)

but then i still want you to be able to change the ground in your little area (or maybe multiple ... idk im still conflicted bc i like the idea of finding a place and building your lil hut there ... unless i make it so you can build a hut anywhere but change the ground tiles only in certain areas ... ) and build little ponds and stuff ... so im back to the minecraft in 2d problem

i keep getting into these thinking spirals bc i dont want to draw all those sprites if im gonna scrap it all again anyway

the main point with this little ...... well, lets call it fantasy bc im not confident this 'project' will fare any better than any of my other projects (im a never finished a single project and keeps being haunted by it kind of guy and i hate it)

- is that i want a 2d game somewhat similar to stardew but set in my original story world and focused on the environment and nature, not on earning money, an intricate weather system and no time limit on your day, the twist being you are an ex-demon hunter and are on probation to prove you really abandoned the cause, given shelter and a place to stay in the demon world within the protective bubbles around gates into the human realm (bc humans cannot live in the normal environment of the demon world- this is an already long established thing but works extremely well to limit the space you are able to go in a game without making the world feel tiny plus allows me to give you several different environment designs bc those are gates and bubbles in different parts of the demon world) your task being to help clean up the poisoned land the celestials had caused and repopulating these parts with plants etc. ... there is a tracker that lets you know how well or bad it is doing and if you only destroy instead of restore (like chopping down all trees without planting new ones) you will be given warnings until Eadrya shows up and kills you since you are clearly still working to destroy their lands after all

i still really like this idea but im really doubtful it will go anywhere since i am so slow, need to learn at least two complicated new things (coding, music making) and already have so many things i want to do but never really .. do, the task is just too daunting and it keeps me from just having fun drawing pixel art bc i cant stop (over)thinking about mechanics

(see this is what i mean my brain just cant stop, it just keeps going and it keeps making me spiral into these thinking loops that prevent me from actually doing anything )

this is the same file i have been randomly doodling sprites on since april (by far not the only one, but the current one of multiple sprite tests i keep updating or changing)

(i appreciate feedback or thoughts on this alot, its a little fantasy that i keep comign back to, all my attempts to throw it out of my head in hopes of clearing up some space have failed no matter how little hope i have of making it a reality ..)

[aces-and-angels]

ART CAMPAIGN BOOST SUBMISSIONS:

edit: i hit the image limit for this post, so any new additions will be included here

the tag is starting to get kinda crowded (great problem, dw). i just thought compiling them all here would make things easier for everyone to find! all of the art displayed below is free to use for the purposes of promoting vetted gfm's here on tumblr. no credit is needed unless specified (marked = ***). if you have any questions regarding how to craft a post using any of the art provided -> please do not hesitate to reach out to me! note: please press follow post as i will most likely need to update this masterlist from time to time.

some info is below the cut on how to best utilize this material. please read it in its entirety before using any artwork. thank you 🖤

learn how to make art for this project here:

---

this project has gained a lot of momentum and has shown very promising results. the level of engagement once art is attached to a vetted gfm increases significantly. you will see what i mean as i have linked example posts of how to best use these pieces to help families in need.

i currently have a list of over 20+ families that i am spotlighting in my own personal progress tracker (the list has gotten so long that i now need to make a second version to accommodate all the families trying to get in contact with me).

this art campaign boost is truly meant to be utilized by anyone. i would sincerely appreciate it if y'all could take some time and pick maybe 1-2 people from this list and use the art below to create your own signal boost posts on the families' behalf. as someone who is periodically tracking their progress- i know that donation rates have slowed for a number of them. i am one person and can only do so much on my own. the essence of this initiative is to get more people to mobilize as a collective. it will take everyone to get on board in order for these families to be able to reach their goals. that means spotlighting their accounts/campaigns periodically.

you need to keep up the momentum.

the individuals you are helping currently live in areas with minimal internet connection, meaning it is very difficult to spotlight themselves on their own. especially since this site is continuously suppressing/deleting their accounts. they need you to interact with their content. tumblr isn't like other social media sites. it's known for being very 'anti-algorithm' and it's common culture for many of us to not really care about our levels of engagement (i.e. follower count/amount of notes per post). it's very hard for your own content to "break" your inner circle of followers and gain traction if the topic of the post is not "popular" or "trending" these families are not operating on this site the same way you are. you may be using this platform as a means to "just vibe" but they are using it as a desperate attempt to raise essential funding to save their lives. the importance that their posts be elevated cannot be overstated. anyone who has ever created any sort of og content here knows how quickly a post can die out if no one interacts with it. this cannot happen with them.

tips for making your own signal boost post* (*for vetted campaigns):

-> make it easy to read + eye-catching: the problem i am seeing when you search many of these families' accounts is that their "tag" (username of their account) is full of the same types of posts (i.e. a generic response to their initial message to another person on tumblr) <- aka it is very easy for people to tune out which is the opposite of what we want to happen. creating your OWN posts in response to their asks allows the art to appear FIRST when people look up someone's account via tumblr's search bar, which will attract more attention to their accounts. it also forces people who are making these posts to actually sit down and read the stories they are sharing with the rest of their mutuals/lurkers alike -> include verification sources: the main reason people are searching for these accounts is b/c they are trying to see if it is okay to reblog/share their campaign with their own following. if you address this plainly and early on in your post that includes artwork -> people are more likely to interact -> tag the account you are promoting: please include the families' account as one of your #'s so it will appear when you search for their names on tumblr. also try @'ing their account in your post so it'll be easier for these families to find your work. some of them are incredibly new to the platform and may not be aware of all its features. something that you may find intuitive may not be as easily understood for these individuals. your role is to make them as easy as possible to find for others so they can gain more support. --- don't have time to type out a whole post for a family on their behalf? -> interact with one of theirs! attach something nice/helpful to their posts so it is more readily available for others to share. the same rules apply from above. as i said before, some of these accounts are brand spanking new and are not formatted in the same ways as others that may be more well-versed on how tumblr operates in terms of promoting their campaigns. (for example: even if the account has been vetted/verified by multiple trusted individuals- the owners of that account may not know to include that info in their posts about their campaign every single time they post. you can make their lives easier by including that info for them by reblogging one of their og posts and adding the necessary info on their behalf)

you can also find a more comprehensive list of vetted campaigns by el-shab-hussein/nabulsi here <- their list is now over 200+ with several campaigns that are "in the red" (very low in funding). please do not hesitate to try to spotlight anyone from this list as well!

el-shab-hussein also has a masterpost pinned here with additional campaigns (including those for other countries like sudan)

alright i've explained enough- time for the art!

artist: @rhq274 | @rhq2744 *** free to use, credit required meet raghad (read and share full post here) Hello, I am Raghad Qanou, a medical student from Gaza City. My people and I have been subjected to genocide for more than 230 days. My family and I have lived through various types of torture and inhumane conditions. This link is my only chance for me and my family to escape death and try to start over. This is not easy. But we are trying, and we would be happy to have you help save our lives and our future. instructions to utilize artwork: those who wish to share raghad's art MUST do ALL of the following: -> follow raghad on tumblr @rhq274 | @rhq2744 -> like + reblog one or more of her posts seen on her account that promotes her fundraiser (you may also include additional art shown below to help further boost her campaign; see example) once those actions detailed above are completed, you may use raghad's art to promote her campaign. *if you are utilizing this art for another campaign that is not raghad's -> you must also mention + link her fundraiser as well /// for those able: please consider donating to raghad's campaign here (vetted; no 221 on el-shab-hussein/nabulsi's sheet)

artist: me lol free to use, no credit required example

artist: @lampyri free to use, no credit required example

artist: @aria-ashryver free to use, no credit required example

artist: @monmonp0k free to use, credit not required- but if given, is appreciated example

artist: @juudaimes-true-form free to use, no credit required example

artist: @gaiuskamilah free to use, no credit required example

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[fernpetals]

Good Cop, Bad Cop VIII

Masterlist

Part 1 Part2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Yandere Tom Ludlow x Reader

Warning: Misuse of police authority

GIF is not mine, credit to the owner of the GIF

Unedited Piece

By the time you reach your apartment, you are sobered up—all the mirth gone from your mind as confusion and annoyance take over. Officer Ludlow has been silent throughout the ride, but you can feel his waning temper. He has no right to. You should be annoyed. This man ruined your night.

“Do you understand the danger that lurks—”

“I am not a child, officer, I understand the consequences of the decisions I make.”

“No, you don’t. You could have a whole cartel after you just because they think you are a witness. You would be one of their kills in no time with the way you navigate your life.”

“Excuse me?” Your annoyance only grows.

“You are careless. What did I say about updating me if you are staying out late?”

“I—” You stop to collect yourself before you feel your voice raising “That slipped my mind, and I am sorry for that, but this does not mean that you can pull us over like this and ruin my night with my friends.”

“That friend of yours was drunk driving. If anything, I did her a favour by not writing a ticket and I did you a favour by getting you out of there.”

“Why do you care?” 

The way his eyes narrows tells you that he is pissed.

“If I were you, I would watch my tone.”

If you were completely sober, you might have watched your tone. But you are angry and the alcohol has you slightly pumped up.

“If I were you, I would know when to leave someone alone.”

You can see the way his jaws clench, and you regret your tone immediately. This man believed you when he could have thrown you behind the bar easily. You can be a little more patient with him.

“I’m sorry. I did not mean to be rude. Thank you for looking out for me. But I was about to finally get some break after weeks of running from work to the police station. And I know that you are doing your duty, and I sound insolent, probably but I needed a night out with my friends, like a normal person.”

Wow, you can hear how lame this sounds. It sounded way more diplomatic and less stupid in your head.

“I know, it has been a lot, but I worry about you. You have no idea how nasty the city can be, how unsafe it is for a girl like you.”

“A girl like me?” You narrow your eyes, your annoyance returning “You think I’m stupid?”

Yes.

Your mind already makes up the answer, even though Tom shakes his head.

“A bit oblivious.”

“That’s a tame way of saying ‘stupid’.”

“(Y/N), you are not stupid, okay? You are new in the city and young.”

You hear the silent ‘stupid’ but say nothing this time. 

“I am tired, Officer.” You need a good night’s rest after it is ruined.

Tom nods before you hear a click “Lock the doors, good night.” 

You can only nod, brimming with exhaustion and annoyance, before stepping out of his car and walking into your apartment building.

Maybe it is the alcohol, or perhaps the annoyance but it never crosses your mind that a click might have been child-lock.

—----

The next day, you visit Lenna, there is so much to talk about and you can at least enjoy your weekend with your friends. 

“You know, this is not normal?” Lenna says, sipping her coffee.

You both sit on her bed as you discuss all that has transpired after your unfortunate encounter at the restaurant. 

“Like?”

“(Y/N) I think something is fishy about this guy—this police detective. He’s intruding into your life. Why should you update him about your whereabouts all the time? And the tracker app? You sure there are men after you?”

“Why would he cook this up?”

“I don’t know, I’m not sure. I mean, LA is not the safest but, I think he’s exaggerating. What if no one from the cartel saw you at all? Maybe they know that you did not see anyone. Have you spoken to any other officer there?”

You shake your head, questioning everything.

“Why don’t you just try having some distance?  You know? Just see yourself. Are you really as deep in as he claims? What if…I don’t know, but you shouldn’t trust someone blindly just because he’s in uniform.”

“Yes.” You nod, this makes sense. Why didn’t you speak to her before? “You’re right...I have been living in fear. What if… what if there’s nothing to fear?”

“See? That is what I was saying.”

You nod and smile, taking a sip from your mug, and mulling over the situation with a fresh perspective.

****

[otomemer]

So, due to the period tracker feature added to LADs, Twst fans on Twitter had been talking about what if Twst also has a period tracking feature while some were just talking about how the boys would react to you having a period in general.

So here are my thoughts on how my top favorite boys would react to you having your period:

Oh bless Deuce's heart. This boy is a bit clueless, but he tries his best to understand. Everything he knows are the basic stuff that's thought in school (that someone with a uterus usually menstruates monthly and that it comes with mood swings, cramps, acne along with the bleeding out of their vagina). He's also heard of the stereotypical stuff that help menstruating people feel better. And ngl, I think he'd go and ask his mom what to do (he's a little embarrassed but his mom is proud that her son is this thoughtful towards his s/o). He'd come back to you later on with painkillers, different kinds of pads and tampons, your favorite snacks, a hot water bottle and would offer himself to give you cuddles. He's really the best boyfriend ever.

Trey is definitely Mr. Husband Material. He hates seeing you suffer so he'd do everything to make you feel better. Honestly, if he can take the pain away from you and experience it himself so you wouldn't have to suffer, he would do it. But, since he can't, he'll just devote himself to taking care of you until you feel better. You'll be spoiled as hell with sweet pastries that he made himself (or if you're not into sweet stuff, he can also make your favorites - anything for you).

Crewel he just knows when it's coming. He probably has a period tracker app on his phone to keep track of your period (he also uses it to.. aheam.. prevent some little accidents when you two get intimate). He is busy so he wouldn't be always there to look after you but rest assured that he has all your stuff ready to make your life easier during that time of the month.

Lilia has lived long enough and has been with enough uterus havers probably to understand what to do to help you out. Though the times have changed, some practices have long been outdated, forgotten and disproved to be helpful, so he tries his best to stay updated on the latest information on how to help someone when they're menstruating. Just.. don't ask him to cook food for you and you'll be fine.

A lot of people on twt said that Jamil won't accept you choosing to take a break instead of doing your usual thing on your period but I honestly think he'd be so sweet and considerate. He's always been great at taking care of people, especially, you but his treatment is always more special on your time of the month. And he's so sweet too because he would offer to give you cuddles or massages.. or if you need him to get you something from the store, he would do it. Just give him a call and he's at your service.

I think Vil is one of the most prepared for your period among my favorites. He has everything prepared even before your first day, and makes sure to keep them in stock so you two wouldn't have to worry about running around to buy stuff when you need it. He's a little strict in terms of diet and exercise, often would encourage you to eat healthy food and do some yoga with him (if you can) because those have been known to help alleviate period cramps. Yes, he'd be annoyed to see you sneaking in some unhealthy food but he wouldn't really scold you for craving them.. not when you're most emotional.

[four-alligators-in-a-trenchcoat]

Update! 6 Months Post Flip-Phone

Yippie ki-yay y'all! Get a flip-phone. My first blogpost about this journey in my life was very technical, pros and cons about the transition to daily life with a flip phone, this blog-post is more vague about how it has affected me mentally. There haven't been many changes to my actual daily carry, but I'm attaching my EDC! I still use the Sunbeam Bluebird, but for those more interested in a review I will make a separate post, if you are deciding on which dumb phone to get I suggest you read it. Lets get into the actual updates!

What are the most prominent changes I have noticed?

Attention span/tolerance has gone up

The norm of physical attractiveness is much different now

Tasks and chores are manageable and commonplace

I have higher standards about the content I consume

Social life hasn't changed much, but if anything it got better

Depression? Disassociation? Not gone, but significantly decreased by at least 70%

Lets start with the first one, attention span. Good God. I used to feel antsy in every situation, even if I wanted to be somewhere I was always absentmindedly thinking about when it would end and I could retreat back into the comfort of my smartphone. That sort reaction is so mentally draining and one of the small things I hadn't noticed until retreating wasn't an option anymore. With a flip-phone? Im eager to be everywhere for as long as possible! Events and little socials have regained their magic and joy! I am more tolerant towards things that would have felt like a waste of energy compared to being at home and find myself actively seeking to be in social spaces. They still exist!

The norm of physical attractiveness is totally different now. This is a huge one, social media does such a good job only showing attractive people. Its the largest requirement to get your content featured, you have to be attractive in some way. Instead of being tucked away into my phone while i'm waiting between classes, eating out, just being in public, I do a LOT of people watching. Its very fun. A result of this new found hobby is that I am looking at so many more faces that haven't been sorted into attractive vs not attractive by social media. Isn't that crazy? That not only do we get our brains absolutely rotted, but that it changes the way we rate other people? Regular average people online vs in real life is so different. My 'standards' for attractiveness are now based on the standard of the public, not the hand picked ecosystem of social media.

Tasks that used to be burdensome and inconvenient and chores that I used to have to plan for and make myself do have lost their difficulty and need for preparation. Dishes? Well i've got five minutes before I have to leave so ill just wash a few. Tidying up? Mm my breakfast is in the toaster, might as well wipe down the counters and sweep. Laundry? ... ok well don't get me started on laundry, I still cant make myself put that shit away...

The standards of the content I consume have gone up, if i'm going to sit down and watch something, I actually want to consume it rather than use it to pass the time. I obviously still have some social media on my laptop, but I really only post on Tumblr, use Pinterest for art references, and Reddit on the occasional. Instagram and Youtube are pretty much obsolete unless I need it for something specific. I play a lot of sudoku while waiting around, and if I remember to carry my book with me I read. One of my goals this year was to read 12 books, last year was 10. Truth be told the majority of my reading happens in the summer cause oh boy senior year of college is no joke. I cant wait to be able to put away my laptop for the summer. As mentioned on my first post, I still have an iphone without a sim card, it serves as alarm clock (I need 30), a menstrual tracker, banking apps, REM calculator, photo editor for when I need to print things for my journal, and my works database app for my schedule, and AO3. Oh my blessed AO3, my love for fan fiction was never expected to be dulled by the flip-phone. I still love to read a bedtime story every once in a while and support my fav authors!! One day I am going to be a rich woman who sponsors authors with money from my big girl job hehehe.

My social life was already a bit lackluster, I tend to get really sucked into school and keeping my head on my shoulders, but i've got two really good friends. Talking to people in my classes is easier because I don't have anything else to do and the flip-phone tends to be a good conversation starter. Ive def been much more participative in my colleges' social scene and clubs!

Oooo now onto the emotional stuff, depression and disassociation. For most of my teenage life 13-18 I have struggled with disassociation and anxiety, not much of it, I am blessed to be quite mentally well, but it was still present. The occasional bout of teenage depression slowly increased in frequency and strength as I got older and was allowed to have a phone (I didn't get one until 14). Disassociation became an ever present struggled that ebbed in and out of my mind constantly, creating a pattern of anxiety towards 'am I going to have a good month or a disassociated month' or 'what if it gets bad right before the semester starts and I don't get good grades' and 'i've been too good for too long, its inevitably going to get really bad soon'. The months preceding my switch to a flip-phone were particularly revealing, social media made be nauseated, being even near my phone made me anxious, I knew I had a problem with it (9 hours average of screen time), and my body started to react. Every time I would scroll on instagram reels for an hour or two, I would come out of it mindless and disassociated. A flip-phone has made my days GOOD CONSISTENTLY!!!!! I almost always have a good or neutral day!! In an effort to be more grateful and mindful I track my days in my journal, and the change in 'average day color' between when I had a smartphone vs flip-phone is obvious. Little squares filled in with red or orange highlighter suddenly stop, and little squares filled in with blues and yellows start. Obviously a flip-phone wont fix your life completely, but it has drastically improved mine. If you are considering getting a flip-phone, listen to me now when I say that its not a big decision with small rewards. Its one object of your life (a smartphone) traded in for something better for you (a flip-phone). That is all a phone is, it is an OBJECT, and an ACCESSORY, to your daily life. Its like deciding which water bottle or backpack to use for daily life, which shoes are your favorite, what book your going to read next. If you feel like you are succumbing to your smartphone and its controlling your life in any way, I encourage you to make the swap.

All done! Thanks for reading! Ill probably be back in a few months with another update, but if there are any questions I will answer them :)

[princessofgotham777]

Dating Jason Todd (Part Three)

fanfic type: angst, fluff, comfort (ongoing)

If you liked the Titans show but wish they handled Jason’s story line differently you might like this fic!

Hey so this is in fact my first time writing fanfiction (idk what my life has come to). Sorry if it’s cringy but also I would eat this up cause I LOVE some good angsty comfort fanfiction. I won’t write smut. I don’t think I’m gonna do requests but if you have any ideas feel free to let me know. Also of course I don’t own any DC characters this is purely fanfiction. Although I’ve had tumblr for a bit I’m not really used to posting stuff so sorry if I don’t format everything well. Thank you and I hope you enjoy. (I hope you like run-on sentences💀) (if you don’t like it don’t be rude just move on dude😃🧍‍♀️)

So story line, this doesn’t really take place in any specific universe but I’m gonna be pulling concepts from Titans, The Batman, Under the Red Hood, and whatever lore I remember from the CW shows cause I grew up watching those, then just my imagination of course. The beginning takes place when Jason is still Robin but he’s no longer apart of the titans. Reader is referred to as she/her btw.

Warnings: talking about death, suicide, depression, torture (it’s not graphic I hate gore it’s just sad)

Part Three: The Past

You, Kori, Gar and Rachel sat in titans tower in anticipation of Dick’s phone call. Roy had found the tracker in Jason’s wallet now you all were wondering if you’d found Jason or just his wallet.

“I just don’t understand why he didn’t wait for Dick and go about the plan as we all discussed and agreed to,” Kori says.

“He just wants to prove himself,” Gar says.

“He acts too good for Dick and too good for us, he acts unappreciative of everything Dick and Bruce have done for him,” Kori says.

“Hey!” You say. “He’s appreciative of them believe me, he’s always going on about how Robin was the best thing that ever happened to him. I love you Kori but don’t act like you know him,” you say.

“Okay, I think we’re all just a bit on edge,” Rachel starts to say when your phone rings. It’s Dick.

“You’re on speaker, did you find him,” you say.

“No and take me off speaker,” he says. Gar, Rachel and Kori all exchange confused looks. You take the phone off speaker and walk over to the kitchen.

“What the fucks going on Dick?” You ask.

“We found another note, Jokers kidnapped Jason. I’ll send you the note everyone at GCPD has been staring at it for the last two hours completely clueless though,” he says.

“Two hours?” You say. “Why didn’t you call me sooner?” You ask.

Dick sighs, “I wanted to see if we could solve it first,” he says.

“Right so you did exactly what I told you not to,” you say. “I’m going to Gotham clearly I need to be there in person.”

“Y/N you cannot come here it’s not a matter of if we need your help it’s a matter of safety Joker has Jason and so your next…he’s betting on you coming to try to rescue him,” Dick says.

“I can’t trust you,” you say.

“Fine I’ll ask Kori to come to Gotham, keep me accountable,” he says.

“Ask her and Rachel to go, I trust Rachel. Gar and I will stay at the tower,” you say.

“You don’t trust Kori?” He asks.

“Rachel is my best friend,” you answer.

“Right, put them on,” he says. You hurry back over to the three of them and put the phone on speaker. “Would you guys be okay with Kori and Rachel coming to Gotham and Gar and Y/N staying at the tower?” He asks.

“Sounds fine,” Kori says.

“Is Rachel going too a good idea?” Gar asks.

You give Rachel a look that lets her know you’ll fill her in later and so she says, “I’ll go.”

Rachel and you are sitting in her room when she finally says something. “I’m happy to help but you need to fill me in on a couple of things first,” Rachel says.

“Completely understandable,” you say.

“So why do you want me to go to Gotham?” She asks.

“Dick broke a promise…and I’m don’t think Kori will hold him accountable so I just want you to be there to keep me updated since I can’t be there myself and I trust you,” you say. “I know Dick saved you and you two have a strong trust but I also know you won’t keep anything from me,” you say.

“You don’t trust Kori?” She asks.

“I trust Kori how I trust everyone else on the team, but you’re my best friend,” you say.

“Okay second thing why’d Dick have you take the phone off speaker, that was weird,” she says.

“I don’t know honestly,” you lied. You knew exactly why. You and Dick had a past and the way you talked to each other was passive aggressive and overly demanding. You two didn’t want questions on why you guys always seemed to be so angry or emotional with each other so you put on an act in front of other people. Jason knew all he wanted to know about it. “He just told me they found another note, which he didn’t tell me about until two hours later that’s why I don’t want him to be my main source of information.”

“One more thing…I know you and I don’t really talk about guys,” she says laughing nervously. “But you and Jason like is your worrying like when you can’t find your favorite shirt or like-“

You cut her off and say, “No, it’s like if you cut off your finger and then you can’t find it and you only have ten minutes to sew it back on before you lose it forever,” you say frantically.

“Right, so I’ll go to Gotham Y/N, and I’ll help however I can,” she says. “This is stupid but,” she extends her pinky. “Pinky promise,”

“It’s not stupid,” you say taking her pinky with yours.

Rachel and Kori leave for Gotham leaving you and Gar the last two in the tower, the last two in the place you once called home. Later that night you and Gar sit by the floor to ceiling window eating pizza and drinking lemonade, looking out at the city.

“Do you and Jason ever talk about coming back and rejoining titans?” He asks.

“Sometimes,” you say. “We talk about it but then we remember how everything went down in the end and we snap out of it pretty quick.”

“None of them still really know what really happened,” Gar says.

“What do you mean? They think he did the stuff Rose did with the crosses and orange soda and shit?” You ask.

“No no, they know he didn’t do that, they just don’t understand why he left,” Gar says.

“First of all who’s us, us as in me, you, Dick, Kori and Rachel or us all plus Donna, Dawn and Hank?”

“The second one,” he says.

“He left because they didn’t believe him. Everyone was so quick to just believe it was him who did all that shit even after he said he didn’t. I know he can be an asshole sometimes to all of you but the truth is Dick acts the same way and no one ever gives him shit,” you say.

“You do.” Gar says.

“Huh?”

“You hold Dick accountable, you’re not afraid to call him out when he’s being an asshole,” Gar says.

“Yeah well Dick and Jason are more alike than people acknowledge. More alike than they themselves care to acknowledge,” you say.

“I forget you’ve known them both for so long,” Gar says.

“Yeah,” you say getting off the floor. “Hey I think I’m gonna try to get some sleep wake me up if you hear anything and I’ll do the same okay?”

“Sounds good,” he says.

I hope you enjoyed reading, like if you want another part I’ve got plenty of ideas and am lowkey having fun writing this so I hope people are having fun reading it🩷

Here’s my Masterlist so you can read the other parts

Masterlist

[chososhoeso2]

Okay so I finally did all of homecoming wings and Caleb girlies I need some help. I am genuinely curious why you like him. I can't get past the red flags. All the characters (except for zayne as far as I know) have a solid number of red flags. Usually I can get past them. I'm a Xavier girly so clearly I don't mind a bit of jealousy and possessiveness. Caleb's possessiveness is different, his obsession with mc is on a whole other level. I want a man to be protective and want to have me all to himself, but not to the extent that he's locking me up and setting things up to get notifications of my vitals and weight (and I get that mc sucks at taking care of herself and isn't great at reaching out for help but like there has to be a better way). Pls don't put trackers on me and understand the need for boundaries and independence.

And I get the implication with the chip. But just based on messages, bond, and homecoming wings I just can't do it. I do have two 5 star memories that I'm planning to go through tonight, along with some 4 stars, so maybe the dates will change how I feel. I'll post an update after I go through them all. I really am trying to give him a chance (and also trying to rack up more diamonds so I can pull his new 5 star since he's the last one I need).

If any Caleb mains want to reply with what you like about him and how you got past the red flags, I would love to hear it. I am open to discussion and hearing others povs. I don't want to dislike any of the guys and he's the only one I feel like this with

Edit: Changed wording in some parts that came off as really judgmental. I didn't intend to come across that way but I know it did and coming across as judgmental is not the right way to promote discussions