#I really might need to watch it again
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and what if I just binge watched little women again instead of working on my fics. what if I just did that
#lina talks#nas#truly considering breaking my streak of never watching shows a second time#it isn't intentional I just don't usually find it fun to rewatch hours of media when I know more or less what's going to happen#but little women.........that show was something else#criminally underrated#I really might need to watch it again
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I watched M27!! it was fun so here's some thoughts
#dcmk#detective conan#m27 spoilers#hattori heiji#kuroba kaito#edogawa conan#my art#i watched it in the cinema so i'll need to watch it again when it's subbed online since it was pretty fast paced and i forget#i liked when ran was desperately feeding heiji's ego so that he'll confess to kazuha!#i also liked momiji and iori just having fun and being silly on their side quest#disclaimer: the popularity poll thing might not be entirely true- it's really hard to find old results for official polls ok i tried my bes#trying to look up past popularity poll results for a 30 year long series that's very unpopular in the eng world will have you trawling thru#old forums and looking up foreign language fandom wiki sites#i found some fun stuff though i might collect them and make a separate post stay tuned
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Idk man thinking about Caleb and Astrid and breakdowns. How the one time we see her have a breakdown it's so neat and quiet and private in contrast to Caleb's messy, public, even violent breakdowns. Do you think she looks down on him for not being able to control it? Do you think she resents him because Trent still wants him back even after all of it and she could never get away with something like that (does the specter of the hysterical woman keep her up at night)? Does she envy him because that's what freed him? And does that just cause the resentment to pile even higher because she could never allow herself to fall to pieces like that? Because someone has to stay in control. Someone has to keep it together.
#He got out! He made it out! And she spent too long in the system to ever escape it entirely#She's too shaped and molded by it to ever really escape it and she knows that#It has its claws in her good and deep and she's clinging onto it with her fingernails in turn#He failed (which you can't do) and got really truly out (which you also can't do) and I have to imagine she resents him for it#The resentment of seeing someone get help you also need but can't bring yourself to ask for and maybe it's too late for you anyway#astrid beck#caleb widogast#critical role#cr2#Seeing all this stuff about Astrid has me thinking again ugh I might need to re-watch the second half of campaign 2
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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It's so funny to me that the fandom has come to see Hirano as a Sasamiya promoter of sorts because while he is, it took him some time to get accustomed to the idea of them together. And while he was never a hater Sasaki's actions towards Miyano certainly used to get on his nerves.
At first he was so worried and probably even felt a little guilty because (as mentioned in the following screenshot) because the only reason why Sasaki knows which class Miya is in, is thanks to him.
But like, that's not the face of a friend that's happy to play cupid and get their two acquaintances together. Not at all, that's the face of someone who puts his sempai-kouhai relationship with Miyano over his (pseudo) friendship with Sasaki.
Hirano from the first chapters would have jailed Sasaki if he were allowed to. (And he has his reasons, Sasaki has been something since the first chapters)
Anyway, the progression of events is really interesting.
He started, quite literally, shielding Miyano from Sasaki.
Then, he came to accept their relationship.
And at the end he really was rooting for them, to the point he ended up outright lying just so Miyano could meet Sasaki and they could talk it out and confess.
#I know the point of Sasaki to Miyano is watching how their relationship develops#but I think Hirano is really important as an spectator of their relationship#everyone thought the pair was and odd couple#him too#so watching him come to terms with their relationship and finally even rooting for them is super sweet#since it shows that he let go of his prejudice (mainly against Sasaki lol)#also I love the message he leaves Sasaki#he really did his everything to give them that last little push that they so needed#and he didn't have to!!!#like two pages before that he curses them both for having never exchanged number#and still he helps them out#idk I just love to ramble about him#he gets angry easily and he lacks patience but he always does his uttermost best to help his friends#even when he isn't particularly close to miya or sasaki#the (pseudo) in pseudofriendship comes from the fact that they are som weirdos that consider each other just classmates#but that's a talk for another day#got sasamiya brainworms again#does this count as a character analysis? (lol)#Hirano might not know of relationships and social dynamics but he really cares about everyone regardless of what those people are to him#both his kohais and his classmates are people he considers precious#and people for whom he would make sacrifices#I'm sorry I just love him very much#sasaki to miyano#if Hirano Taiga has no fans I'm dead#meaning that I'll defend him till my last breath
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I think that they should kiss when they reunite
#:thumbsup:#kite draws#kite watches bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd#kunikida doppo#Dazai osamu#kunikidazai#if they do not at least hug I will bite someone and not in the sexy way#yehehhh#may have taken it way overboard with the blur effect whooops-#I don't really like this but lakhdkjsadksd adhaksjdhsd askjdha I finished it so might as well post it-#blegghhh#wehhhh#I redrew kunikida entirely#I finished this last night but hated it even more then so I Didn't Post it and waited for today to change it lol#still am not certain but uhhhh feel like I need to post it cuz thats what ppl are provably following me for :Sweats:#ignore this all I am just Entering an Art Block again I think-
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worst trope is found family separating as soon as the antagonist is dealt with.
#yes this is about voltron and it's also about guardians of the galaxy#what james gunn did to gamora in GOTG3 is criminal#i understand why they did it but to end with her GOING BACK TO THE RAVAGERS?#fail end.#seriously#and it doesnt even make sense bc ofc the high evolutionary isnt going to be the last problem they would deal with#in just a few years they encountered 5 people trying to destroy the universe and who were incredibly difficult foes#youre finna tell me there will never be a situation like that for the rest of their lives?#gtfo#and mantis' end was dumb too not even sorry#i can tolerate drax and nebula's ends.#but everyone else?#stupid#even peter's ending was fucking moronic. bro can pop in on the weekends he doesnt need to be a live in nurse for his grandpa#it's just such a major letdown and sucks everytime a director/author decides to split up the found family permanently#at least with voltron you can rationalize it by saying 'oh they never really wouldve hung out with eachother if they werent forced to for#voltron and werent forced to fight a war together.' and i can see it bc none of them DO hang out together before voltron#they barely even hang out AFTER they become voltron#keith and shiro hang out bc of the adoption/fostering/mentoring thing. lance and hunk MIGHT hang out bc they were already teammates#it's important to note that we never really see hunk and lance being bffs. theyre just friendly to eachother.#this becomes even more apparent once hunk and pidge actually become friends. it's very obvious hunk was just being friendly to lance.#just friendly.#(take this with a grain of salt bc ive only watched the whole series one time. i refuse to acknowledge anything after se 2.)#so yeah it does make more sense theyd all go their own ways but not even the small friend groups stay together at the end!#pidge and hunk are in completely different galaxies from eachother. same with keith and shiro#lance is isolated from all of them bc post se 3 writing team genuinely hated him and failed him as a character.#but GOTG3? they CHOSE to band together time and time again. they CHOSE to be a team. they CHOSE to be family#for every single one of them to say 'nah fuck that i want to be on my own bc uhhh reasons!' is a lame ending.#period.#gotg3
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Couple narrators from last couple days. I think pre-surgery? Time is fake.
#the stanley parable#tsp narrator#tspud#i think I might draw the curator this week idk#the sparrow parable#been meaning to try to write something but would really need to watch play throughs again and haven’t had spoons#wearily shakes a fist.#so many things I can do and none of them speaking to me#I’m bored out of my mind trying to capture my attention post surgery pbbt
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ok fellas this post is really different from my other stuff so i'm putting it under the cut for people who don't care and also because i'm slightly embarrassed
ok so. is it unusual for a girl to want to have a deep voice and a flat chest and a more square face and also feel slightly jealous of men and want to sound like them and look like them
and also is it unusual to want to be all that, but also simultaneously not be very bothered very much by how you look right now or by being referred to with she/her except for sometimes when you think about it too much. because i usually don't think about it except for sometimes where i suddenly just get really sad about being a girl or i'll always have this faint feeling that i am just unhappy about it
and also is it unusual to try to ignore it and go about your life being unbothered by it even though deep down it does kinda bother you but you can't really. like. say anything to anyone because your family won't react well and neither will your friends because they'll think it's weird and uncomfortable. i feel afraid to ever feel this way because i know the people in my life won't react well to it
so like. genuine question please lmk wtf is goin on because i'm unsure if it's normal and i've felt like this for a long time and it's confusing me and i don't even know what i'm going to do with the information once i know i'm just sort of lost LMAO
#vent#ig???????????#it's not even funny (it's a little funny) how the only reason i've like. thought about this was because i am becoming#more and more jealous of actors in the musicals i watch#greaseball when i get you. when i get you#like i know it IS possible play as male characters in musicals or something as a girl if i ever wanted to#but the thing is i want to look like them and sound like them and i want to be masculine#this is me questioning my gender on my fucking cats the musical tumblr blog everybody point and laugh#might delete later depending on how embarrassed i get ARGH#I FEEL SHEEPISH#had this in my drafts for a long time but i'm caving in and posting it because i had a bad night last night thinking abt it#and i need to know. also i'm lying in bed having to get up and i don't wanna so i'm making excuses#anyway again. i'm embarrassed feel free to ignore this is so stupid#ok. being brave about this#i don't like being negative on here. idk if it's negative but it might come off that way and i don't want to be awkward#also idk how sharing it here will help. but i don't really know what else to go to#if nobody got me i know tumblr got me can i get an amen#keep adding tags to this like it's going to change anything. post the damn thing idiot#why am i adding so many tags like i'm hyping myself up in the mirror JUST POST IT
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I recently had a conversation with a friend that made me realise that (maybe) people might not know that the Italian mafia still exists and actively operates all over Italy. Like, the general international public has this old-timey idea of the mafia that stops at the 1950s, with Al Capone, seedy bars, car chases with tommy guns etc. etc. or at least that seems to be the case for the people who don’t live in Europe, or otherwise close to Italy.
So, I made this poll. DISCLAIMER: this poll is NOT so i could judge people in any way. I can’t really fault anyone for not knowing about a problem so tied to Italian soil and culture, I was just curious.
NOTE: I’m not making a distinction between the actual Mafia, Camorra, Ndrangheta etc. etc. just pretend that all Italian organized crime is one big thing for the sake of this poll.
#this was also prompted by the miriad of Mafia AUs I see everywhere online#not that there’s anything wrong with them! They can be really cool#the aesthetic can be awesome and it can be fun to play with a plot revolving around organized crime#I just need people to keep in mind that the Mafia is still very real and it still kills people to this very day#I don’t care if you watch the Sopranos every day or know the Godfather by heart#hell you can have a poster of Al Capone in your bedroom for all I care#just… idk remember this is real. it’s not just smoky bars and the aesthetic and ‘I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse’#these people kill. the noble mafioso that protects the less fortunate is just a myth. these people have no morals.#countless people - good people - have been killed by mafiosi bc they tried to expose them#I don’t mind if you enjoy the old-times aesthetic but PLEASE do so with the knowledge that it’s just fantasy#because the reality is much worse#There was a news case some years ago of a Mafia boss hiring a hitman from prison to get his own daughter killed#because she exposed him and landed him in jail#so any perceived ‘nobility’ these people might have in the eyes of the international public it’s just a fantasy#idk this is getting long. i don’t want people to think they can never enjoy a mafia AU ever again. I’ll stop now#polls#my polls#tumblr polls#poll#tumblr poll#roba italiana#Italian tumblr
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Hello to the Buddyfight fandom it's been a hot minute but god do i miss this show and have been making fanart for it in the background so i thought i'd post to tumblr too ^^
I swear every year I end up coming back to this show and wishing that it kept going, that it got rebooted, that i could just erase my memories of this show and just watch it all over again from the beginning to enjoy everything once again from Tasuku's own sense of justice twisting against him to Gao's suffering of PTSD and how heartfelt it was handled.
There's something very special about this show that I haven't been able to find replicated elsewhere. It has the most perfect world to exist (so much so that i'd love to be isekai'd into it if i could!!!) and while i have my own gripes with it (hi S3+) i honestly sometimes wish i could go back to my high school years of watching this show just to relive it all again :'D
Anyways!!! I hope there's still people out there who enjoy this show even ten years later who'll like seeing new funny artwork for it!
I wanna add too that i'm hoping to create a rewrite of FCBF (ft. seasons 1-3 + Ace) or at least create more artwork for my interpretation of it and its world!
Because, sincerely, this show is one of the few that, for all its flaws, hasn't disappointed me in the years that've followed unlike many other things i've seen and i wanna try to keep the spirit of it alive while I can thanks to that. And if there are any fans still in existence who love it, i wanna provide some food while its once again in my orbit because damn do i adore this show <3 <3 <#
#it's been like a year but im back on my buddyfight kick again#and since im back feeling dejected about OC things again i might try and focus on buddyfight stuff for a bit :Dc#fcbf#future card buddyfight#buddyfight#Deathgaze Death Dragon#Noboru Kodo#Tasuku Ryuenji#Gao Mikado#Drumbunker Dragon#Sawblade Dragon is a funny little critter I made as part of Tasuku's deck in my AU that im writing#and the other two monsters you can just barely see in the last image are Gallows/a Buddy I gifted Sofia#because tbh Sofia really needed a Buddy#specifically a Star Dragon World one#though as of this point in my AU she doesn't have her Star Dragon buddy bc it doesn't “Exist” yet ofc#middlemost image is also an old art thing but a headcanon thing for those mystery kids bc i like them despite not being a fan of-#Sofia/Tasuku all that much (tho had more effort gone into the writing behind them i probably would have liked them tbh lol)#I mean who doesn't like the idea of a guy who was at her side specifically and worked with her to achieve the bad guys goals#ends up watching his precious Buddy be attacked by her which is what snaps him out of his corrupted mental state to finally realize he's in#the wrong#& then when he later meets her as enemies he suffers cognitive dissonance of both loathing and respect towards her which culminates in him-#holding a personal vendetta towards her while also recognizing her efforts as a former ally who helped him during his Disaster days#and so when he gets to the future and has to rely on her help and guidance he has to confront the fact they're two sides of the same coin#& that she's neither an ally nor enemy but a mirror to himself of what he could've been if he'd decided to take action outside of the law#i mean#there was a LOOOOOOT of missed potential between Tasuku & Sofia if the show really wanted to go down the route of implying they end up a-#couple in canon (ESPECIALLY compared to Tasuku/Gao where it's clear Tasuku cares deeply about Gao and doesn't give a damn about Sofia)#and idk i felt we were robbed of a lot of things that could have given chemistry between Sofia and Tasuku
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LMK SEASON 5 SPOILERS
I attempted to use Google translate to translate the trailer, but I was fighting it the entire time, and I know it’s shit but anything is better than nothing!
#I think!!!#nezha’s dad is using Wukong to fix the 5 pillars of creation#thus using the circlet to control him/ keep him in line#but after Wukong fixes them then he might not be able to return#and uh oh Macaque looks sad about that#like he /just/ got his friend back#I think also that redson and Mei are helping? fighting?? the 7 headed dragon#also i think the 100 eyed centipede demon has been watching MK for a long time#and idk if that’s a good or bad thing#either way#MK needs to learn how to control his monkie form#and he’s going to struggle with that as well as accepting that part of himself#and!!! they go to get the five colourful stones#I think Wukong gets trapped somewhere#I think Ne Zha and his father had a really shitty relationship (obv) and he hates seeing his dad again#even more so hates how MK seems excited to see him??#Ne Zha not being a fan that he has to help him or something?#bc Li Jing is attempting to become the new Jade emperor#I think???#idk I don’t have enough time to ramble#I got to run to work
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feeling very sad about the kuzy news not just because i'm going to miss him in dc, and because without him we are down to four guys from the cup-winning team, team of my heart, but also because this anticlimactic sad probably-ending to his time as a capital is so illustrative of how shitty this sport can be. he may not have out here speaking articulately in english about his mental health problems, but he was not shy about them. he didn't hide that he was struggling. he has spoken openly about how hockey culture can give you such a dark and destructive mindset and how much he cares about not bringing that home to his children, how he doesn't want his children to play the game because of that. about how he purposefully tries to not take things so seriously to protect himself from that even though he knows it pisses people off. instead of sympathy or taking the opportunity for a wider conversation people mostly made coke jokes. when he first went into the players assistance program i felt so sick because i knew people were going to be awful about it and i was right.
i'm so sad but i'm glad that gmbm seems to at least kind of be working with him to find him the change of scenery he wants instead of just dumping him. i hope he gets whatever kind of second chance he wants or needs, and wherever he lands he is able to find peace and joy. i will miss you beautiful bird man <3
#just needed to get this out i guess!!#had myself a little cry in the bath watching the round 2 ot pens goal over and over lol :(#but truly when he was at his best he was so good and joyful and so fun to watch. i really hope he finds that again#and man i also keep thinking abt how his whole career was colored by nasty russophobia that NA hockey loves to pretend doesn't exist anymor#and no one in mainstream hockey media is ever going to dig into that. it think about how it might have made things harder for him#the russophobia is such a messy and complicated topic now because of the (gestures at current world events of it all) but like.#man it sucks. it all just sucks#evgeny kuznetsov#washington capitals#hockey for ts
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Fireafy shower thoughts that I realized for this story I'm trying to write #1
I remembered that Firey gave / built Leafy an whole ass ferris wheel for her twice
Now of course, the ferris wheel would lead to the downfall of the two, but ya know, for just for a friend... that seems like a big ass gift and work for just a pal Like Firey doesn't do anything similarly big to any for his other close friends
:thinking:
YES OH MY GOD I THINK ABOUT THIS SO MUCH… and the end part about how firey doesn’t do stuff like that for his other friends… have you ever thought about who his actual friends are? just think about it… everyone he associated with in bfdi were almost just acquaintances… he was super focused on challenges and usually worked more independently when he had the chance He didn’t really make time for friends and stuff.. he had minor friendships with certain people but he mainly stuck to his objective of winning dream island whereas leafy liked to work with people during challenges that didn’t require teamwork (like ice cube and sometimes bubble) or random people she would help during challenges) if you think about it hard enough… leafy was fireys only true friend (at least in bfdi)!!! she was the only one to establish a friendship with firey and it seemed like firey needed that push to see someone as a real friend instead of a fellow competitor (or enemy LOL). she was the only one he ever really stood up for he really really saw her as a friend he has never done any of that for anyone else before either (at least up until then) and he also changed his challenge strategy of independence with her at least a couple times… he stuck with her through the challenge in bfdi 20 (for as long as he could…) and occasionally stuck with her through bfdi 23. firey also really passionately defended her and demanded for her to be back when she died and announcer told him that he sold the recovery centers. and yeah of course the ferris wheel GAH but you already mentioned that! and of course firey saving leafy from her punishment of what they thought would be permanent death even tho they were punishing her for something she did mainly to firey … but to wrap up my point! firey has never expressed compassion the same way he has for leafy with anyone else. she was his only true friend in bfdi she was like the only one he ever really had to consider a friend for that whole season of competition … of course there’s much more to discuss for later seasons but i’ve been typing for like over 30 minutes now so i’m gonna quit HAHAHA SORRYYY there are so many words i am really enthusiatic about them
#ALSOOO i’m still working on that fireafy video essay thing#production on it has just kind of paused since school started again but i’m planning on working on it this weekend#i REALLY wanna get it done … i’m so excited about this project man AAHH i spent like 10 hours on the fireafy timeline of their major intera#ctions and ljke 2 hours proof watching everything and another 2 hours taking notes from the show and past rambles#and i spent now over 20 hours for a drawing that’s semi related to the video? i’m just gonna use the speed paint of it for filler when#talking about something that’ll take too much effort to get clips for Or something AND FOR THE YOUTUBE THUMBNAIL PROBABLY#ANWAYSSS i’m forever fireafys biggest fan#YIKES. THIS IS SO MANY WORDS. someone call the yap police#joyjibberjabber#ALSO there might be more stuff i’m missing? or forgetting? i need to rewatch bfdi i need the refresher
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Ok, so not able to really go deep into it right now after a long day at work, but I started thinking about a Tron coming to AFTER being Rinzler & getting time to think on all the horrible things he's done as Rinz & how post-Rinz Tron turns into a terrible gloomy presence, a new type of unbeatable monster, impossibly afflicted by all the pain he's caused & deaths he's wrought. A Tron that's so ashamed of what he's done, he turns into a different sort of disaster from what he was at Rinz, one that no longer can be the rescuer but one who needs to be rescued from himself & lost all agency in fear of harming anyone else again. Reminded that he is not only to blame for all those he lost to his own fiendish ways, but for all the terrible things he's done.
The hero needing his own rescuing, but made of claws & fangs, lashing out at anyone that dare take another step his way & risk his harm or dare consider a monster like him deserves an ounce of kindness at all.
One who's desperately in need of saving but thinks he himself unwanted, undeserving, and the more he isolates himself & less he thinks of himself, the more he devolves into something else entirely...
Biting & growling & retreating into a state that can't be held at bay, a malignant form toxifying the corner of the Grid he makes his home, poisoning & killing everything in a radius of self hatred or uh. Something like that.
#tron#rinzler#hmmmm nice program#MIND IF I RUIN IT#a new flavor of disaster#guy who wants a hug so bad it might just overright his current coding & finally set him right#a tron who really needs to know other people still forgive him#dont see him as less#& still respect him despure what he had become at clus hand#... but what grief turns him into#is it saveable?#or another broken rinzler like program?#just another damaged state of tron??#who can say....#he's waiting fir anyone to remind him he's worth anything#& the one user who runs straight into his den of darkness#knowing trons claws & fangs are beared & ready to attack#feeling the pierce of sharp stinging regret & hatred#yelling only /go! you dont understand! leave!!/#& the user#bleeding & captured tight in the tangle of claws yelling back#/its always you always will be you#nothings changed nothing will ever!!/#melting him thru like ice to a flame#& taking his claw & saying#/i cant lose you again/#& watching the monster begin to slowly#ever so slowly#retreat back away...
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Man this day has taken it fucking out of me
#of me. on me. idk English can suck my dick at this point#discussions about gender with my dad contemplating once again if i should come out as NB or not#(decided not bc his stance on lgbtq+ is very much “labels are ridiculous why do people make a big deal of it just be who you are” which.#i wish the rest of the world was as uncaring about whether you're queer or not. but when the fam watches a mini program about being NB#and hes still all “i dont really get it” and “theyre people first and foremost and idc” i just. don't think i need to spend energy on that)#(bc it's positive in a way but also. a little draining at times.#bc he WANTS to understand but he also wants to go into discussion why it shouldn't matter)#(like that's great dad. not a bad attitude i. principle. but sadly it does matter and people DO raise hell over it)#anyway all that on not enough sleep#and a very long week#i need a fucking break but like an idiot i did not request time off until christmas#i might try and get some days off before then bc im dragging myself through the week half the time by my fingernails#and then the weekend is just not enough time to recover#fuck im tired#anne speaks
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