#I really like mechanical pencils for this kind of thing

[yunyin]

Glad for pencils when I really want to draw but I need to wait for a new tablet adapter!

[bacchuschucklefuck]

[saturnaous]

I never stop thinking about them.

SEND ME ART REQUESTS BOY

[aleese1111]

can I request a fem reader who loves taking care of sieun? They’re in a pretty new relationship and it isn’t like she pities him but more because it’s her love language!! Gift giving and quality time.

So reader loves memorizing every little thing about sieun down to his stationary,,(yes the pens are refilled by her) would even stay up with him while studying!

She’s very used to that routine and knowing sieun he would probably still be new to the relationship so often times he isn’t able to give back to reader as much and she’s really and insists that payment would be for him to smile just a little!!

So maybe one day sieun finally does something for reader that completely takes her aback and has her falling in love with him again!!

Im so so sorry if this was long!!! But I love your whc fics so much I’m excited for more!!

the night he noticed | yeon sieun x fem!reader

summary: she's memorized every pen refill, every yawn, every page turn. But the night he tells her—in the only way he knows—that he's memorized her too, becomes the moment everything changes.

warnings: [established relationship] comfort, slow burn, emotional hurt/comfort

author's note: i don't know what to feel about this. requests ,,

there was something deeply comforting about the quiet between them. it wasn’t empty, nor was it awkward. it was the type of silence that wrapped itself around them like a soft blanket—the kind of hush that existed only between people who didn’t need to fill the air to feel seen.

she sat beside him, her legs tucked under her on the floor of his room, surrounded by books, scattered notes, and the quiet tapping of his mechanical pencil. the overhead light was dimmed, casting a gentle glow that didn’t interfere with concentration but still allowed them to see one another when they glanced up. it was late—later than most would stay up willingly—but she was used to that. used to this.

his pen clicked once, then twice. she reached over before he could do it again, switching it out for a refilled one. he blinked and looked at her, only briefly, but she saw the thanks in his eyes. he never said much, not in the beginning. words weren’t his strength, and she’d learned early that the language he spoke best was one of restraint and observation. so she’d adapted. she had learned him.

every pen refill, every extra highlighter, every back-up graph sheet tucked into his folder—those were her ways of loving him. staying up when her eyes begged for sleep, just to make sure he wasn’t alone in his intensity, was her routine. not because she had to. because she wanted to. because somewhere in the middle of library tables and coffee-fueled all-nighters, she had fallen for him. not the way people usually did. she didn’t fall for his silence, or despite it. she fell into it. and learned how to love inside it.

she didn’t expect things in return. she knew he wasn’t like her. he wasn’t wired to recognize the little things, let alone mirror them. that was okay. all she ever asked for was a smile. just a small one. and even that, she never pressed for. sometimes it happened, and when it did—it felt like the sun.

tonight, though, felt different.

he was writing, yes, focused like always. but there was something off about the way he glanced at her. more frequent. as if he were trying to say something without saying it. she didn’t comment. she only shifted, brushing a stray sticky note from his leg.

"you missed dinner," she said quietly.

he paused, then shrugged.

"you didn’t eat either," he replied.

she smiled softly. “didn’t want to leave you alone.”

he hummed, barely audible. then went back to writing.

minutes passed. maybe more. time moved strangely in their little cocoon. eventually, he closed the textbook, sliding it aside. she blinked at him, surprised.

“you done for the night?” she asked.

he didn’t answer. not directly.

instead, he stood up and disappeared briefly into the hallway. she heard faint sounds from the kitchen. her eyebrows furrowed.

when he returned, he held a small tray. a bowl of rice porridge—simple, warm, and clearly homemade. next to it, a mug of ginger tea. she stared at it, stunned.

"i didn’t know how to make much," he said, eyes down. “but i remembered you said your stomach hurts when you skip meals.”

her heart stilled.

he didn’t sit back down immediately. just stood there awkwardly, almost uncomfortable with himself. his ears were flushed, just barely.

she took the tray slowly, reverently. cradled it in her lap.

“you made this?” she asked, voice barely above a whisper.

he nodded. “i watched a video. checked the ingredients. made sure it wasn’t too salty.”

she blinked quickly, trying not to let tears pool in her eyes.

“i didn’t think you noticed,” she said. “about the stomachaches.”

“i notice more than i say.”

that was it. just that. but to her, it was everything.

she took a spoonful, the warmth of it somehow extending beyond the bowl and into her chest. it wasn’t perfect—but it didn’t need to be. the care in it was unmistakable.

“i memorize things too,” he said, quietly, almost defensively. “not like you. not as often. but i do.”

her throat tightened.

“i know you set out my pens by color,” he continued, eyes not meeting hers. “and that you refill them even when i don’t notice. i know you only drink that strawberry milk after 2 a.m. i know you leave your charger half-unplugged because you don’t like sparks.”

she covered her mouth with one hand, heart in her throat.

“i just don’t always know what to do with the things i notice,” he said finally. “but i’m trying.”

she put the tray aside and crawled across the space between them. he didn’t look up until her hands were cupping his face, gently.

his eyes, always so guarded, softened instantly.

“you don’t have to do anything with them,” she whispered. “just remembering is already more than enough.”

he leaned slightly into her touch. she felt him sigh—really sigh—for the first time in weeks.

“i wanted to give back,” he murmured.

“you did,” she replied, voice thick. “you are.”

she kissed his forehead, soft and slow.

that night, she stayed a little closer than usual. her head on his shoulder, his hand awkwardly but intentionally resting against hers. they didn’t speak again. they didn’t need to.

in the quiet, he noticed her. and finally, she knew—he always had.

[ha-rinrin]

First I want to say that I really love and enjoy your writing and take all the time you need :)

Second I would like to request a jinx x artist reader who likes to sketch her a little too much (not a weird way just like just the reader do absentmindedly)

Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m sorry it took me this long to fulfill your request, but I finally finished it, so here it is 🤍 Also, guys, I’m sorry for disappearing for so long. I’ve had a lot on my plate, but I’ll try to post more often like before 😔

masterlist

Sketching Jinx

The workshop was dimly lit, a safe haven for Jinx’s chaotic energy. You sat cross-legged on the couch, sketchbook balanced on your knee, pencil in hand. Jinx was deep in her element, hunched over her workbench littered with wires, gears, and various mechanical parts. She was busy assembling a new invention, her tongue poking out slightly from the corner of her mouth in concentration.

You watched her—loose strands of blue hair escaping her braids, the way she pounded a hammer against a stubborn piece of metal. She didn’t notice you drawing her, and you preferred it that way. You liked capturing these candid moments of Jinx—her in-between states, before the chaos took over.

With each movement, she seemed more alive to you—vibrant, unpredictable, like a force of nature. You captured every detail: the smudges of oil on her fingers, the way she occasionally glanced up at the ceiling, clearly lost in thought. Your pencil moved smoothly across the paper, sketching her unfiltered essence.

“You drawing me again?”

You nodded, barely looking up from your work. “Yeah,” you answered, your voice soft but certain.

Jinx let out a small laugh, shaking her head as she continued to tinker. “It’s the third time today I catch you sketching me,” she commented, not bothering to hide her amusement. “And you don’t even let me see them.”

A playful smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you glanced up at her. “Guess I like keeping my favorite sketches a secret,” you teased.

Jinx paused, a smirk playing on her lips as she turned to face you, crossing her arms. “So now I’m your favorite thing to sketch, huh?” she echoed, raising an eyebrow. “Guess that means I’m doing something right.”

You chuckled softly, meeting her playful gaze. “Maybe,” you teased back, a hint of mischief in your voice.

Jinx stood up and stepped closer, clearly intent on convincing you to show her the drawings. “Come on, let me see them,” she insisted. “I’m your favorite subject, remember?”

You pretended to think about it, giving her a sly smile. “Hmm, I don’t know…” you teased, shaking your head. “What if I don’t want to share?”

Jinx’s smirk widened, and she reached out to tickle you gently on the side. “Come on, just one peek?” she urged, her voice a playful mix of frustration and laughter.

You held firm, shaking your head. “Nope, not showing them.”

Jinx’s expression shifted as she suddenly lifted you up from the couch and wrapped you in a tight hug, pulling you close against her while you return the hug, your sketchbook left on the couch. “Come on, just one little peek,” she whispered, her lips brushing against your ear.

You resisted, a smile tugging at your lips. “Not a chance,” you teased.

Jinx let out a soft huff and started planting kisses all over your face—on your cheeks, your nose, your forehead. “How many kisses do I need to give you until you show them to me?” she asked, her voice playful and warm.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “A lot,” you replied, trying to keep your composure.

Jinx’s smirk softened into a smile, and she began to kiss your cheeks more insistently, each one lingering longer than the last. “How about now?” she murmured against your skin, her breath warm.

You held out, a defiant sparkle in your eye. “Still not showing,” you teased back.

Jinx’s playful grin returned as she started to tickle you, fingers dancing over your sides. “How about now?” she repeated, her kisses turning into playful bites on your cheeks.

You laughed uncontrollably, trying to squirm away. “Okay, okay, you win!” you finally surrendered, grabbing the sketchbook from the couch and giving it to her. “But you owe me big time for this.”

Jinx’s eyes lit up with triumph, and she pulled the sketchbook from your hands, giving you one last peck on the lips before stepping back to examine your drawings. “Totally worth it,” she said with a satisfied grin, flipping through the pages. “These are amazing, you know that?”

Jinx flipped through the pages, her expression shifting from playful amusement to genuine amazement. She stopped on a page and held it out for you to see. “Did you… did you draw me while I was sleeping?” she asked, her voice a mix of surprise and wonder.

You peered over her shoulder at the sketch—Jinx, head resting on her arms, a soft smile on her lips as she slept peacefully amidst her mechanical work. The moment had been so fleeting, so candid, that you hadn’t even realized you’d captured it.

You nodded, a soft smile playing on your lips. “Yeah, you looked so peaceful,” you admitted softly. “Couldn’t resist.”

Jinx’s eyes softened as she studied the sketch. “This is… wow,” she breathed, running her fingers over the paper gently. “I didn’t even know you were watching.”

You shrugged, feeling a little bashful under her gaze. “I like capturing moments like these. They’re the real you, without all the chaos,” you explained, your voice low and sincere.

Jinx’s expression turned tender, and she stepped closer, placing the sketchbook back to you. “You really see me, don’t you?” she murmured, her voice barely a whisper. “Not just the crazy, but all of it—the quiet moments, too.”

You met her gaze, nodding. “Yeah, I do,” you replied softly. “That’s what makes you so… special to me.”

A smile tugged at the corners of Jinx’s lips, and she leaned in, brushing a loose strand of hair from your forehead. “Guess I’m glad you didn’t hide this one,” she said, her voice affectionate.

You shrugged, feeling a warmth spread through you. “Maybe I’m starting to trust you with these,” you admitted, your heart pounding a little faster than usual.

Jinx’s smile widened, and she leaned in even closer, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “Good,” she murmured against your skin. “I want to see more of them.”

You smiled back at Jinx, your heart swelling with affection. “I guess you’re worth the trust,” you replied softly, leaning into her embrace.

Jinx’s expression softened, and she pulled you into a warm, gentle hug. “I’m glad,” she whispered, her voice full of sincerity. “Because these moments, they mean everything to me.”

You snuggled into her embrace, feeling content and happy. “You’re my favorite thing to sketch,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “But maybe now… I’m starting to like sharing them with you.”

Jinx squeezed you tighter, pressing her lips to the top of your head. “Good,” she murmured again, her voice thick with emotion. “I want to be a part of all your moments, even the quiet ones.”

With Jinx’s arms around you and the warmth of her embrace, everything felt just right. You knew that no matter what happened next, you’d always have these sweet, quiet moments with her to hold onto. And that was enough to make you happy, for now and forever.

[bamsara]

Why did you start writing? From what I can tell you put a lot of passion into the works you make, where did it all start for the lovely stories you make now?

Wayyyy earlier when I was 9-10ish, and even at that age I was writing a lot, with just pencil and notebook paper. I know I have written earlier than that, but I have no evidence of it.

I filled up an entire 3inch binder with an entirely hand written story about a girl who lives who her grandma and has a dog named Trout, almost dies in tornado at school and finds out the tornado as a sentient being that was trying to kill her because she has some connection to a random dude that can control the weather, and a elegant queen lady who controls ice that basically adopts her and turns her into a scout to find other people who have elemental powers. She doesn't have any herself, but for some reason she can tell who does, and then can steal it. I still have that binder in my closet. Would not recommend reading it though lmao

I started publishing my writing online, fanfiction specifically, when I was 11ish and totally not supposed to be online yet. My first fanfic I wrote and published was for Soul Eater, and that account and those stories are still up to this day. (cringe warning for the exact kind of thing you would expect an 10-11 year old to write) I actually had two fanfic.net accounts, this one where I wrote L4D stuff too.

I switched from fanfic.net to Wattpad after I got into FNAF and wrote a bunch of Fnaf stuff from an AU I had in 2015, and that AU is what led me to making a tumblr account that year, mainly to post my art for my stories. (I had always been drawing, too, but I didn't start posting that until wattpad)

And then I switched to AO3 around 2018 and my stories have been there since. I have, quite literally, been writing for nearly 15 years, with pretty much all of my work well-documented online since I started.

I hate my older works from when I was a teen/kid, and even work from just a few years back, and even removed them at some point, but decided to keep them up for archival purposes. Especially since you can kinda see how my writing style has changed, my standards in writing like the wordcount going from 80k at 11yrs old to 200k something for my long fics, my viewpoints and beliefs, etc etc. I am also very...picky about the stories I read, so if I cannot find what I want, I will make it myself.

Writing is absolutely the best and most practiced coping mechanism I've had since forever. I will write even if I do not have any readers. I still write things that I do not post online, so overtime what was something I deeply enjoyed as a hobby and an outlet to process difficult and low parts of my life becoming something enjoyable to other people is kind of wild to me, still.

And I'll continue to do it even if one day this account explodes or something. When I said 'Writing and creating art is the only thing keeping me sane' I was not trying to be quirky /lighthearted. I'll dedicate entire days to writing chapters in a row.

But yeah I've been writing for a long while, I'm glad you guys really like it! Look at my cats

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

You can generally tell who wrote what by looking at their handwriting;

Due to being a zombie Cleo’s been alive for ages so while her handwriting isn’t anything special, sometimes she’ll accidentally slip into the alphabet of other languages.

Grian’s is just chicken scratch only he can understand what it says.

Jevens handwriteing is generally pretty normal. It’s just that all of his letters are very round in shape and they are all the same size. the big way you can tell that he is the person who wrote it is because there’s always some revenant of slime or wetness on whatever the writing is on.

Scars is technically legible, but it’s very hard because it’s that doctor office spaghetti scoops, and loops kind of cursive.

Generally, all the red stoners have pretty nice handwriting due to the finicky nature of Redstone meaning that they have very still hands, but you can normally tell if it’s one of them because of the Redstone dust that is always smeared onto whatever they write on.

Ren’s is identified more by the wording than the actual letters themselves since he has a tendency to slip into that theatric kind of wording. Same thing for Tango but only really when he’s working on decked out.

Doc writes with his mechanical hand, which means that all the letters end up looking like he typed them on instead of actually writing them, after a while he managed to figure out how to copy the others handwriting so when people need to mimic or disguise handwriting for one thing or another (normally pranks) they will normally come to him.

I think Tango's word choice is a bit more distinctive than just being theatrical- he -ificates words just as much as he does while speaking.

Gem has really nice and cute handwriting! But you can tell its her more easily by the bloodstains, she can't always get it off her hands after a fight.

Etho presses way too hard on the pencil while writing, he's torn holes in the paper before

-Mod Mleem

[hqbaby]

eighteen — just wanted you know to know

mess it up — gojo x reader & sukuna x reader

⁀➴ when i told you i’m fine, you were lied to. when the love of your life falls for someone else, you decide to move on—by pretending to date your best friend, the campus fuckboy.

previous — masterlist — next

word count. 2.4k content. profanity, everyone’s bad with feelings

Satoru was having a lovely day. Although “lovely” would be a relative term considering the fact that finals season has descended upon the general student population and he is one of its many victims. Still, he woke up on the right side of the bed, he managed to find some clean clothes, and the barista at the coffee shop down the road wasn’t as mean to him as he usually is.

Overall, his day had gone fairly well. As he walked over to the library, he didn’t dread finishing the mountain of papers he had to write or the problem sets he had to review. He even texted Suguru to come join him in his study session so that they could compare notes—something he usually steers clear from because the man always distracts him.

Overall, Satoru was having a lovely day.

Until that asshole showed up.

There he goes, with his usual lazy smirk, walking over to a table with his friend. They’re chatting—about something shitty, Satoru suspects—and laying their books out on the surface, pulling laptops and notes out of their bags. Satoru wonders what would happen if he just walked over, grabbed the guy and—

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Satoru looks down at his hand where a pencil has already snapped in half. You should really just get a mechanical one, your voice echoes in the back of his mind, the hint of a laugh bubbling beneath your words.

“Satoru.”

He looks up.

Shoko.

“Hey,” he says, flashing her that grin of his. As if he wasn’t just trying to stare your boyfriend to death. “What’s up? Wanna join me?”

The girl rolls her eyes, obviously seeing through his nonsense. “Why are you looking at that guy?” she asks, glancing over at the table where Sukuna is gesturing frantically as he explains something to Choso. “You into him or something?”

Satoru scowls. “That guy is dirt,” he says. “Worse than dirt actually. He’s the scourge of the earth.”

Shoko watches him with an amused look as he directs his attention at Sukuna, sending daggers at the guy that he obviously can’t feel at all. She’s known Satoru for a while, since they were freshmen. He’s usually the kind of guy who tries to be nice to everyone. He calls it being a nice person. She calls it being a people-pleaser.

She doesn’t think she’s ever seen him look at anyone the way he looks at Sukuna. He usually hides his disdain until the other person is out of his general vicinity. So this, him looking at the poor guy like he wants his whole family dead, is both ridiculous and completely strange.

“What did he do?” she asks, sitting down at the table. She takes a sip of her coffee as Satoru wills himself to rip his gaze away from Sukuna. When she realizes it might take a while, she busies herself by digging through her bag to grab the things she needs to study. “Did he steal your girlfriend or something?”

The silence that her question meets leaves Shoko curious, glancing up at Satoru as he turns away looking a little defeated.

“Oh shit,” she says. “Really? That’s why you broke up?”

“No,” Satoru tells her. He groans, slumping onto the table. “I don’t know, okay? All I know is that one moment she’s breaking up with me, the next she’s with that guy.”

Shoko looks back at Sukuna, waiting until she finally recognizes the man. Her eyes widen. She didn’t know who he was before, but now she definitely does.

“That’s the best friend!” she whispers to Satoru like it’s some big secret. “He’s the one you told us about!”

Satoru sticks his tongue out. “Yeah. Duh.”

She swats his shoulder. “Don’t be a fucking brat,” she says. “I can’t believe she jumped ship like that. What a bitch.”

“Don’t call her that.”

“Well, I’m a bitch, so I know when someone else is being a bitch.”

“Shoko.”

She raises her hands in apology. “Fine, fine. Sorry,” she says. She takes one more look at Sukuna then sighs. “You know, at least you’re free of all that now. You and Kimi seem great.”

That seems to cheer him up.

“We do, don’t we?” he says, beaming. “She’s just the best, you know. Lights up every room she walks into.”

Shoko curses herself as Satoru launches into a whole spiel about how great and wonderful Kimi is. She knows that she brought this on, she knows that the best way to distract her friend from his melancholy thoughts of you is to get him to talk about his new girlfriend, but fuck does it make him annoying.

“She does this little thing when we kiss, where she takes her hand and she—”

“Holy shit, please stop!” Shoko says. “I don’t wanna know about that!”

Satoru smirks. He knows just how much this annoys Shoko. It’s half the fun.

“She grabs my butt.”

He gets a well-earned smack on the arm.

“Hey, why are you starting the violence without me?” Suguru slides into the chair beside Satoru, beaming at Shoko as she glares at him. “What did he do?”

“He was being annoying,” she tells him, slouching in her seat. “I brought up his girlfriend once and off he goes on a whole tangent. ‘Oh, Shoko, you should see her eyes! You should smell her hair!’”

Satoru shrugs. “Not my fault you’re painfully single.”

“I’m pre-med, I don’t have the time,” she says like she always does. “I’d also like to point out that you fall in love way too easily. It’s gross.”

“I do not!” he gasps. “I’m very careful with my heart, you know.”

“Nah, I have to agree with Shoko on this,” Suguru chimes in, oh-so-helpfully

“You have to agree? You don’t have to do anything!”

He pats Satoru on the back. “Why don’t we just study like you said we would?” he says. “Take your mind off your fickle heart.”

“I’m gonna throw you into a dumpster,” Satoru says, glaring.

“After my finals, buddy. After my finals.”

It takes a while, but they do manage to get Satoru back on track and start working on his papers.

At a table a few feet away from them, Sukuna is trying to focus too. And failing miserably of course.

“Shut up,” Choso says without even looking up from his laptop.

“I haven’t even said anything.”

“But you were going to.”

Choso sighs. “Dude, I swear I’m gonna leave if you don’t let me focus.”

Sukuna pouts, trying his best to put on the best whole “woe is me” performance of his life. “But I have something really important to ask.”

“I have something really important to study for.”

 “You don’t want me to fail, do you?” Sukuna asks. “If I don’t get this off my chest, I may just flunk out of here.”

“Okay,” Choso nods. He waves at Sukuna. “Bye, dude. It was nice having you here.”

“Choso!”

“Seriously, man! We can talk all you want after we die from our exams, okay?”

“Fine,” Sukuna says, clearly not fine at all. He gets up and grabs his belt bag. “I’m gonna go take a smoke.”

Choso raises his brow. “I thought you quit.”

“Yeah, well, I’m stressed,” is all Sukuna says before he marches out of the library, completely unaware of the fact that he’s just walked past your ex-boyfriend who has not only noticed him but decided—against his friend’s wishes—to follow him outside.

Technically, no one is allowed to smoke around these parts of campus. But technicalities haven’t seemed to stop the group of distressed students camped out behind the library, heads in their hands as they all ignore each other and take their misery out on the ozone layer.

Sukuna leans against the brick wall, fishing a pack of cigarettes out of his bag. He’s just about to light it when someone scoffs at him. Now what piece of shit would do that?

“She hates those, you know.”

Oh, that piece of shit. Of course.

“What do you want?” Sukuna says, his voice as cold as steel as he meets Satoru’s eye. He lets the cigarette dangle from his fingers. Yeah, you wouldn’t like this at all. “Come to beat me up? Your little girlfriend not around to stop you?”

Satoru doesn’t budge, just continues to stare him down. “Have you told her?”

“Told her what?” your boyfriend spits. “That you’re a creep who can’t seem to get out of his ex’s life?”

“If you don’t, I will,” Satoru tells him. He runs a hand through his hair and crosses his arms over his chest. What is he doing? He knows that Sukuna’s right. That he should just let you live your life. Make the mistakes you want to make. It’s not like you didn’t cause them.

But he can’t do that. He could never do that to you.

“Listen, I don’t know why she chose you,” he says, the venom dripping from his tongue. “But the least you can do is not treat her like shit.”

Sukuna rolls his eyes. He lets the cigarette drop to the ground. “How do you know how I treat her?” he asks. “This is getting pathetic, man. You have a girlfriend, don’t you? Why don’t you just move on like any other sane person would.”

“You fucking ass—”

“She doesn’t want you,” Sukuna whispers. His voice is low and threatening. Any other man would be scared shitless.

But not Satoru.

His lips curl into a smirk. All smug and cold and heartless. “She misses me, you know?”

Sukuna sneers. “Oh, yeah? Who told you that? Your fucking delusion brain?”

“No. She did,” Satoru says simply. “I ran into her a few weeks back and she told me.”

“Oh, please.” Sukuna tries to maintain the stoic facade he’s put up, but that bugs him. Did you really tell him that? Why? “You’re insane.”

He pushes past your ex and heads back into the library.

When he plops back into his chair, Choso shoots him a confused look, but he just ignores it, turning back to his notes. He tries his best to read through his scribbles about something, but he can’t help his mind from drifting to you.

He knows he should tell you about the party. It’s not like the two of you were actually together yet, and you did tell him you didn’t mind if he kept fucking seeing other girls. You’re not vindictive. You’d be just fine with it—all he has to do is tell you.

He reaches for his phone and stops short of calling you.

You wouldn’t care. You would be fine. The two of you would be fine.

But would you? Things between you are so new. So fragile. You’ve barely just crossed the line between friends and an actual proper adult relationship. Everything is still hanging in the balance. Sukuna knows that one wrong move could wreck it all. He just doesn’t know what that move is.

And then there’s Satoru.

“She misses me, you know?”

What would possess that man to say something like that, Sukuna will never know. Maybe he’s just jealous. Maybe he’s just trying to get in Sukuna’s head. Maybe he just wants to mess with your relationship so that you come running back to him.

But maybe he’s right.

You wake to the feeling of your phone buzzing somewhere on the floor of your living room. It’s the middle of the day, but you, Maki, and Nobara have managed to pass out in the middle of your studying. Figures. If you had the choice between sleep and school, you definitely know what the three of you would pick.

You lift your head and pat the space around you until it finds your phone. Your eyebrows furrow when you see the contact name on the screen. You answer.

“‘Kuna?” you say, voice a little hoarse from sleep. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah!” he answers immediately. “I just wanted—were you sleeping?”

You chuckle, placing a hand on your forehead as you rest your head back on the floor. “Yeah, we needed a break,” you tell him. “Why are you calling?”

The other line is silent for a moment. You can already picture the way he looks right now, rubbing his thumb over his lower lip as he considers his words carefully.

“Sukuna, what is it?”

You hear him exhale. “Nothing,” he tells you. “I just wanted to let you know that I miss you.”

“We saw each other yesterday,” you say teasingly. You wish you could leave the conversation there, but you know there must be some other reason why he’s decided to call you out of nowhere. You know Sukuna. You know that there’s something going on. “What did you really call me about though?”

“Nothing,” he says again. You can tell that he knows he’s not convincing you. “I just thought… you remember when we snuck into that reservoir?”

You groan at the memory. The two of you were stupid back then, trying to escape the realities that you lived in. But you have to admit it was fun.

“Of course I do,” you tell him. “You called me just to remind me of that?”

He laughs, the memory apparently just as fun for him as it was for you. “That was when I knew.”

“Knew what?”

“You’re really gonna make me say it?”

You frown. “Sukuna, what are you talking about?”

You hear him sigh. Hear him ruffle something. Probably his hair. “That’s when I knew that I loved you,” he tells you softly.

You nearly drop the phone. “Oh.”

“You don’t have to say it,” he says. “I just thought you should know.”

Now, it’s your turn to be all jumpy. This is just like Sukuna to drop something on you like that. To drop the fact that he loves you, just like that. The fact that he’s apparently loved you for a while now.

“I love you too.”

The words hang in the air for a while. You’ve told him you loved him before, but that was always different. Always spoken beneath the cover of your friendship. Never something that meant anything important.

But is it really different this time?

You try to keep the thought out of your mind.

“‘Kuna? You there?”

“I’m here.”

You clear your throat. “Is that really why you called?”

“Yeah…” he says. “I just—yeah. I just wanted you to know that I love you.”

notes. me while writing this: *just sweats profusely*

[boltmoonvic]

i love your bfdi gjinka/robot designs so much and i'm so excited to see more of them as the comic progresses (and i'm a sucker for murder mysteries so it's really playing to my interests)! how do you come up with your designs, by the way? they're so fun and unique :D

Thank you so much !! I'd be more than happy to talk about my process :D

While I was watching the show for the first time last October, I sketched out my first batch of characters by following the question: "What associations do I make with their object that could make them feel more mechanical?"

This could be another object, like Leafy's terrarium, a concept, like Coiny's stocks, or a simple shape, like the hexagon form of a pencil.

The process hasn’t changed much since then. It’s mostly brainstorming, which can be summed up as:

What do I know about the character? (Personality, Role in the world and story, Any details, Any design changes)

What other objects/ideas do I associate with their object?

How can I combine those ideas visually?

There's also two general "rules":

Most of the time, the character's head resembles the silhouette of their object, to be easier to recognize (though there's exceptions, like Pencil)

All contestants with arms have humanoid hands, while armless contestants have alternative ways of grabbing things (like GB's claws, PB's paws, Black Hole’s little planets, etc.)

To give an example, here’s the simplified process for Nickel:

First, for the core idea:

Randomness/Playfulness (Personality) + Money (Object) -> Casino -> Coin Pusher (but doesn't have a very recognizable shape) -> Slot machines ! And then using the shape of his holes (Design Changes) for the slot icons.

Then, for the body:

Similar to GB "I have the same shape and limbs as her" -> He has a similar silhouette/size and a claw like hers. But he's got arcade claw machine claws, instead of her Doc Ock inspired ones.

Counterpart to Coiny "I'm going to be the new coiny !" -> Head is more or less the negative space/opposite of Coiny's.

There's also a vague idea of puppet boy/pinnochio mixed in there, with the way his mouth and articulations look.

It's a lot of fun to play around and test things out ! I usually sketch multiple ideas from brainstorming until something clicks. Hope it was helpful, thank you again for your kind words ! ❤️

[ranticore]

How dexterous are phocid hands? I I know they’re fully capable of various works like weaving, intricate tattoos and stone carvings but is there any special aid they use to do this or are they comparable to a typical human and improve with practice and time at a similar rate to us? I’m wondering things like how writing utensils and other tools are shaped! I imagine a pencil would look different for lots of different creatures.

Phocids are actually quite unique among sirenians because their hands are, mechanically, completely unaltered human hands. They've got a blubber layer and different skin composition but the hand bones and the ability to grip and manipulate tools are completely comparable to a human hand of the same size. When the aquatic Sirenians were being engineered, phocids' hands were not changed from the basic human blueprint because there was no need; they were models of tail-driven aquatic locomotion.

^ phocid hands. They have four fingers each consisting of three phalanges, an opposable thumb with two phalanges, and fingernails (fingernails are very important for tool manipulation). because phocid hands are not really designed to bear weight despite them being quadrupedal, they can suffer from wrist and elbow pain if they spend a lot of time on land.

when working with slender tools they would need expanded grips (like the padded pencil grips you can get to reduce wrist pain)

Just to see what I could come up with I made an ink-pen with an expanded bowl for phocids to grip onto. The bulb part is the refillable ink reservoir. Obviously this type of writing cannot be done underwater. I think most writing utensils would need to be adapted to phocid hands not because of how they work mechanically but just because of their size.

Underwater, the main writing system is woven. Signs are made using knotted and interwoven lengths of waterweed which can be read at a glance, but also read by touch, as well. This is important to phocids because their necks are quite long, their arms are quite short, and sometimes they can't actually look at what their hands are doing. So most reading and writing is done without even looking; they make a cat's cradle kind of web of fibres and knit out a message. sitting back to read a nice book is, for a phocid, a matter of unrolling a tapestry scroll and running it between their fingers to feel the tactile woven pattern.

[stargazinglesbian]

Your Jason Todd hcs,hand 'em over

ok ok *putting my hands up in the air* i yield /j

jason is a v interesting character for me, and also one i don't really have a full interpretation on, because ive never read a comic for the sole purpose of reading abt him. it's always been incidental when im reading about like damian or cass, so i haven't had time to get super into him. regardless here r my headcanons so far!! :33

He prefers to go to movie theatres alone rather than with other people, and always gets really annoyed whenever someone forgets to silence their phone or is talking too loudly. Jason takes the Cinema Experience very seriously

(also sneaks food in because he thinks the prices in movie theatres are bullshit)

has a habit of just kind of nudging stuff around unconsciously. like he fiddles with things all the time. picks up a key or a little figurine in one room and puts it down in another without realising. it always annoys people because their decor is ever so subtly Off but he can't stop himself

left handed. i will not elaborate

i like the idea of uncanny valley jason, but honestly i think it's more fun if only jason thinks he has the 'uncanny valley' look. like to everyone else he's just A Guy but he feels like he looks weird and different ever since he was resurrected. basically just body dysmorphia

asexual. i will not elaborate

terrible internal clock. shows up for things incredibly late or incredibly early. cannot give an accurate eta to save his life. thinks its been like an hour but it's been 40 minutes

prefers mechanical pencils to pens and regular pencils, and he's always carrying around at least one of those little led containers yk the ones

when he was robin he was used to cutting his own hair and the first time alfred took him to like a barber he hated what they did to it so much he tried to 'fix' it later that night. he wore hoodies and hats for three weeks straight.

this one is mostly just me projecting but he eats things in very specific orders. like he eats all the green m&ms first, then the brown ones, then the red, etc, etc. he hates when other people just take his food without asking because it messes up his system. if you want some of his food you jsut have to accept that he needs to be the one to carefully pick and choose what you get out of the bag.

talks wayyy too fast when he's pissed off

that's all of em i have for now !! thank you for the ask as always, i love seeing u in my inbox its wonderful !!! <333

when i write headcanons theyre always very small and stupid lil things, like habits or tiny preferences or stuff like that

[moredorkysjonsson]

Hi! I have another question! Your art is just so incredible and inspiring. It makes me want to draw.

Bodies - Toshinori; Soichi; whoever you are drawing. You showed us a great behind the scenes on faces for Toshi (especially loved the sketch breakdown for his face! Seeing the starting base product is helpful).

I’m curious specifically about how you come up with / create those bases.

You have been so kind and open about your process and I want to thank you for that.

Thank you so much! (੭ु ›ω‹ )੭ु⁾⁾♡ It really makes me happy hearing you getting inspired by my artwork!

--

When it comes to drawing, I either use photo refences I find on the net (most often Pinterest). Or I'm drawing a pose directly from my mind without reference. If I'm after something specific, but can't figure the pose out, I will take reference photos myself.

With Reference:

This one is how the process look when I draw from a reference photo. Here's the LINK to the reference I used.

When I find a reference photo, I never care about the genders of the people on the photo (But it might be easier for those who struggle with anatomy). I find the height of the people to be more important. They don't have to be the exact height as the characters I will draw, but there should be a somewhat of a difference if I need it. I often shrink or lengthen the models myself while I sketch if I have to.

1 - I'm starting with using the H2 pencil and sketches the position and shape.

2 - I'm placing the eraser flat, and gently erase the sketch. I do this to make the sketch transparent.

3 - Now I'ts time to focus on the anatomy, and I'll most often start with the head. I'm using the HB 0.5 mechanical pencil for this.

4 - I'll continue the anatomy with the bodies. I often use curvy, boxy and triangular lines/shapes, it helps to make the models look a bit more 3-dimensional ,

5 - I'm adding the hair.

6 - Now it's time for the clothes. The majority of the time, I draw the clothes after I'm done with with the anatomy. It gives you more freedom with choosing any type of clothes you want give the characters. I'm choosing to give All Might this sweater. I'll give Soichi just a regular hoodie. (Note: If you look closely you can see that Soichi's shoulder shrank a little, after I unintentionally erased it previously. That's cool though, it makes her look smaller compare to All Might, which we want.)

7 - I'm erasing the unimportant sketch lines to make the sketch look cleaner. I'm adding the blush on their cheeks, filling the hair and make the lines thicker with the mechanical pencil: often on parts that needs the contour. I'm using the blending stump on their clothes, Soichi's arm fur and the table.

And it's done! ٩(•̤̀ᵕ•̤́๑)૭✧

IMPORTANT:

I will erase a lot when I sketch these. Many times I change my mind on the positions or the shapes. So don't be afraid to make mistakes or change your mind.

Sometimes I even add my own ideas for the reference I use. As an example: If I wanted All Might's other hand to touch Soichi's other arm, I could sketch that. So, don't be afraid to add your own things into the sketch, even if it's based on a reference.

Without Reference:

The easiest way to get an idea of a pose: is to make up a scene, or take inspiration from a scene in a fan-fiction or a book! The one pose I sketched here is loosely based of a part in one of my All Might/Soichi scripts.

This is how it looks like when I draw without a reference. There isn't much of a difference. I will however work on it more and spend more time on it.

1/2 - Sometimes I'll add extra lines and details to the "shape sketch" for the reference drawing as well. But it's more common when it's without.

7 - I used the transparent erasing twice in this process. It's not necessarily because it's without reference. Most of the time I use it if I feel the sketch will become too messy if I add the last touches. So to make it cleaner I gently erase it and make the sketch clean, or make it more into a drawing.

8 - It's finished!

My own notes with the sketch: I think the pose is kind of stiff, but it's pretty good otherwise.

Supplies I use:

H2 Pencil (Sometimes I use H3 or H.) I’m mostly using it because I’m pressing my pencil pretty hard. If you are someone with a looser pressure, you probably don’t need a H pencil :)

HB, 0.5 Mechanical pencil

Blending stump (Koh-I-Noor) Brand isn't important, though.

Clic eraser I don’t use it much though

Regular Eraser (I recommend kneadable erasure for the "gentle transparent erasing" I'm just too lazy to get it out from its little box)

--

I hope this answer/post of my drawing process was even more inspiring and maybe usefulヾ(｡^ω^｡)ノ

Next time I'll be posting some helpful tips with drawing anatomy!

Edit: Added information on how I most often get an idea for a pose without reference photo.

[blissfulbluee]

dae-ho headcanons (any kind)

Yes! Thanks for the ask. I hope these make you happy. I tried to keep them pretty wholesome because he makes me sad :(.

Kang Dae-ho Headcanons

-He's a dog lover

-He has always absolutely adored his older sisters

-When he was younger, he always wanted to hang out with his sisters, even if it made him look weak. As he grew older, he became scared of the consequences and social backlash.

-He prefers his female family members over the male family members, even if he tries to hide that from the men. He is the pride and joy of the women in his family.

-He doesn't have many friends, only a few he is very close with. Yes, his confidence and charm attract people, but he only gets truly close with some.

-He has a rock collection

-He has good taste in music

-Knows how to braid hair and do other hairstyles because his sisters taught him

-He likes to have fun and laugh a lot with his friends. It's one of the biggest things that make him happy.

-He sees Jung-bae as an older brother/father figure

-He can draw really well. Only draws in pencil. Used it as a pass time and coping mechanism while in training.

[puzzled-pegasus]

On the ADHD demigods' stim habits (headcanon list)

Percy

He talks and mutters to himself a lot and he also paces around his cabin

Restless Leg(TM)

He used to chew on things a lot but adults told him that he was Not Allowed to bite pencils or shirt sleeves or paper or anything so his outlet is mostly snacks, chewy candy is the best for this

Someone get him a seashell chewy necklace please

Oh you know what they should have stim toys at the CHB gift shop for all the ADHD kiddos

He also probably cracks his knuckles and joints a lot

He hums when there's a song stuck in his head and it's really annoying but he can't really stop it cause he doesn't notice until someone gets mad at him and then hes like ??

Annabeth

Annabeth tends to chew up her pencils a lot

She also compulsively daydreams and builds designs of buildings in her head and reviews lists of stuff she wants to remember

She finds herself doing random math while she's supposed to be paying attention. Like if someone is telling her something and her brain drifts off more often than not she's looking at something around and being like "let me just calculate how many bricks are probably in that stack over there" or "hmm i wonder how many gallons of water are in the canoe lake"

She also gets distracted if there's any other social interactions of people around her and she just people watches and makes inferences about what people are feeling and whats going on in their lives

Also she chews her hair and sometimes puts little braids in it

She picks at her skin too a lot and sometimes pulls out strands of hair

Piper

Piper flaps her hands a lot especially when she's excited

She flips and braids her hair too

If she has feathers on her she will sometimes take it out if she's bored and either preen it with her fingers or use it to tickle someone to annoy them

She sings a lot but mostly to herself and sometimes she can be heard humming or softly singing without noticing

If she has any kind of paper available, like notebook paper or napkins or maybe candy or gum wrappers, sometimes she'll make little origami things

She also picks at her nails quite a bit

Leo

Leo has the most stims that he's unable to mask, as we know already.

He taps on surfaces and messes with his clothing a lot

He also whistles sometimes which can get annoying to people around him so he tries not to do that but if he's alone or really concentrating on something he will

He will also play with pretty much anything he finds on the ground like paper clips and those office clamp things and he'll take apart mechanical pencils and pens and put them back together and if he finds a tack or a safety pin or something there's a 90 percent chance he'll stab it through the skin of his finger(s)

If he's outside he'll pick up leaves and flowers and shred them or pick up sticks and break them

He was also probably one of those kids who would put glue on his hands so he could peel it off

Jason

i wasnt sure if Jason had ADHD but I looked it up and it said he did so oh well lol

Hes like. Freakily good at masking stims and it kinda creeps everyone out especially the CHB demigods

BUT he still has them

He have the restless leg

He also does like random stretching sometimes

When he's standing in one place for a while he kinda stands on one leg or bounces his heels

Sometimes he'll pick up objects from the ground or something and play with it like Leo does, especially if he's outside and there's like rocks or something

He does a similar thing to Annabeth too but instead of math he'll try to identify any animal noises or animals he sees like birds in the sky or like if he hears a dog bark he'll try to figure out what kind of dog

Hazel

Hazel's stims are the least obvious but they are definitely there.

If she has a view of outside she will gaze out of the window or look around her and figure out how many types of trees or whatever that she can see

She will also mess with the seams or edges of her clothing

If she has paper around she'll draw horses or other animals or sometimes people or she'll practice her cursive letters and make them fancy

She picks at her skin and her hair as well

Frank

Frank does not have ADHD. He sits there quietly and everyone thinks hes weird. Sometimes he gets wiggly if he's nervous but otherwise nah

[talenlee]

Game Pile: Sleepaway

We’re going to camp! We’re gunna have a ball! We’re going to camp to get awaaay from it all!

Wait that song includes lyrics about being bitten by the counsellors. Hrm. Maybe American camp culture is bad. Anyway,

Content Warning: Sleepaway is a horror TTRPG which explicitly invokes the threat of both animal harm and child endangerment as part of its horror elements.

Sleepaway is a tabletop RPG by Jay Dragon, made in 2020, and released by Possum Creek Games. The core fantasy of it is that the players are camp counsellors at an American-style summer camp, a thing that does not exist here. There’s going to be nuance I miss, a vibe I don’t quite understand, I hope that’s okay.

Let’s talk about the basic, fundamental resolution mechanic in this game. Players take moves and those moves contribute to the fiction. The two most common moves are ‘take action, leaving yourself vulnerable,’ and ‘invite the Lindworm to act upon the group.’ These two ideas are introduced and explained on page 14, but if you’re not already familiar with the game it might feel like there’s something more to be done, something more to be explained.

Basically, the action economy is one where players have Strong moves (that advantage you and advance the story), Regular moves (that just advance the story) and Weak moves (that disadvantage you, give you a token, and advance the story). All the moves you can do are things that make the story move forwards, but you need to suffer before you do strong things, and there is a clean exchange between advantages and disadvantages, with the bad things in the story contributing step by step

This game is GM-less, which is to say it’s a game where there’s no single person whose job it is to facilitate play, manage rules and keep people on task or following a thread of narrative. This is a feature, not a benefit or a drawback; it’s just something about how the game is structured, and you may find that a good thing or a bad thing. Particularly, the game as designed is heavily interpretive and narrative-driven, which means that mostly it’s going to appeal to people who already wanted to sit around and tell stories with one another. For me, that’s always a hard sell, because I have that already, it’s called my friends. A RPG is something specific with a structure that relieves the pressures on people to come up with narrative on their own and instead exist within a structure that other people provide.

The game has a large amount of material presence, what I call stuffness. In this case, the game has the book, sheets for the camp, sheets for the characters, sheets for the setting, pencils and scrap paper (and lots of index cards), a deck of playing cards, tokens, and a conspiracy theorist corkboard with string and pushpins, or a large piece of paper with a lot of coloured pens. And here is one of the many ways this game pulls at me, in that my first reaction to this list of required material is that’s too much stuff.

But then they get to the corkboard and I’m suddenly on board.

I think the idea of a TTRPG played off a corkboard as the group character sheet rules! That’s such a cool idea, and using it to store character information or track resources strikes me as a really cool approach to a game design! I wouldn’t have imagined it was the kind of vibe for a game set in a summer camp, but again, I don’t go there, I don’t know how common corkboard conspiracy charts are.

I’ve spoken at length about the idea of getting people invested in your game as fast as possible, in what I tend to call the approach. I’ve also talked about the way that a game’s interface can be impeded by even small amounts of friction, and how quickly a game can get you invested in who you are and what you get to be. As much as people may dislike the comparison, my gold standard for this is Dungeons & Dragons 3.5, where a player is already invited to create a character with just the basic polarity of ‘race/class’ and a two page spread introducing all the core concepts to them. That is a gold standard, I understand everyone is not in a position to spend Wizards money. I am however, keenly mindful of how you start your book and what you present in the opening of that book.

The opening of Sleepaway is a discussion of design influences.

I have no association with Dream Askew & Dream Apart by Avery Alder and Benjamin Rosenbaum. I know they were used for another game, which was similarly loose that I spoke about before. I do not deeply understand the Apocalypse World engine by D. Vincent Baker and Meguey Baker, either. Nor do I know Chuubo’s Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine (though hey, dope, Jenna Moran, long time fan here), nor do I know Pin Feathers/Cloud Studies, or Sorcerer or House of Miracles or The Secrets of the Forbidden Isle or what the Wayfinder experience are. These are signifiers that are for communicating ideas to people who recognise them.

This page is, to me, a page for a designer to speak to other designers.

This isn’t even a bad page! I think it rules that there’s a part of this book that’s trying to draw connections in a design space. It’s like a bibliography, a sign of connection. I like it. I question its presence here, at the start of the book. In the context of starting this book, we get title page, art page, blank page, ISBN and all that good stuff, credits, author bio, design inspiration, table of contents, and that means that it’s ten pages before we get to ‘how to play.’ And if it’s not there to be read at the start of the experience, then why is it there? How much of the opening of a book are we supposed to throw away?

The question might well follow: What is more important to this game than getting players interested and engaged? Who should be reading this book first?

Now here’s the biggest issue I have in this whole game that I would otherwise spend quite a lot of time complaining about: The resolution mechanic for this game rules. It’s cumbersome and it’s ugly and it requires a level of memorisation I do not find comfortable and I think there are better ways to implement it, but this is a game which uses playing cards for its resolution and a hidden actor to resolve it.

See, after the Moves are done, ultimately, people are going to hit a point in the story where you run out of options and have to take the move Invite the Lindworm to act upon the group. This means that all the players close their eyes, and one player (chosen in secret) picks one of the top three cards in the deck to present to the group. That player then closes their eyes and knocks on the table, and players no doubt look up the prompt to see what the revealed card means. There are rules to what the Lindworm will try to do, which means that it will avoid certain kinds of cards if it can, and it will try to kill animals rather than people, adults rather than children, and children rather than the protagonists, in that order.

This mechanism rules. I love the way that the game’s mechanical structure depersonalises this horror, where there’s an explicit mystery to what will happen and a fear of what might happen, all told in the silence of the ritual as people close their eyes and focus on the thing that they know is about to happen. It is not the bang, but the anticipation thereof.

This mechanic kicks ass! It’s such a good horror mechanism! I wish it wasn’t as fiddly as it is to execute what with the table and the person holding the card having to make an important decision without being sure what people will do with it, and I wish it didn’t come along with all the other details in the game like the conspiracy board, but I love how this mechanism creates a ritual for the Lindworm. It is a thing that brings with itself terror and that terror is heightened by the way it is invoked.

Someone needs a token to do a Strong action, and this is the least bad option they can come up with for how to get one, for how to use their Weak actions. And then… people close their eyes.

The dark comes.

It’s a great mechanic for a horror game!

I think Sleepaway is about an experience I don’t have and is a little confused in how it approaches its ideas, a beautifully slick, sleek engine that is unfortunately gummed up with concepts that I don’t think it needs but I couldn’t rightfully say it could get rid of without knowing the designer’s intention. There’s a want to tell a horror story that’s inclusive and diverse in a genre that is famous for its othering and exploitation, and a focus on not recklessly incorporating cultural elements inappropriately that also puts the Lindwurm, a Nordic mythical creature, in the setting’s America.

But maybe I was always supposed to fixate on the things in this game that excite me, because as I said: The opening seems to be for designers.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[twig-gy]

so mind was repainting his walls last week. he dragged me in his room as if it was some kind of intervention, but he just wanted me to watch. what? him painting the walls? seriously? it was silly. even if you disregard how WRONG it is, for him to do that, for him to throw that little bit of whole away, it was just silly! like, the walls didn’t need to be repainted! there were a few scratches, a few places where the paint peeled, dents and stuff, but like. not enough for such a practical thing like the mind to bother repainting it when he has so much better to do! he was working on a song. i think be born? i don’t know why he chose be born, we don’t like be born, as you would expect from every tally hall fan ever. anyway, so he was working on a cover of be born, i saw the sheets. he uses these really tidy sheets, mechanical pencil. it fits him. such a minute detail, it seems to fit. of course he would use a mechanical pencil. a normal pencil isn’t dignified enough, i guess. and a pen isn’t erasable which sucks when you’re doing something like music. why is he working off of sheet music anyway? it confuses me. i got sidetracked.

so he has better things to do, and yet, he was repainting the walls? he didn’t even ask me, just kind of snatched my hand. it was really like something heart would do. he was getting into my space, just kind of arranged me on his bed, and i didn’t go. i don’t know why i didn’t go, i could’ve. i’m far stronger than him - that is to say, he’s a weak motherfucker who loses in any kind of fair fight. but i just sat there, staring as mind’s blue slowly overtook whole’s color. it felt like a metaphor, and not a pretty one.

did mind want to eradicate whole so thoroughly? fucking fool’s errand, but heart and mind are fools, mind’s just a bit more subtle about it. usually, when he’s not forcing me to watch him repaint his room. his room. it’s whole’s room, truly. whole’s walls, and it was whole’s color. mind doesn’t get it. he thinks he can do whatever he wants. even heard heart calling him dawn the other day. i detest it! like, truly detest it. it’s so stupid. dawn? what was he saying, he is the dawn? when the sun rises? beginnings, golden light spilling through his window? oh, look out your window and see me? HE DOESN’T DESERVE A NAME. AND CERTAINLY NOT ONE LIKE THAT. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT. that is not the beginning. what about whole? what about Him? it’s as if heart doesn’t care. and maybe he doesn’t. i’m SORRY i tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. cause i looked at his feathers and thought, just for a little halfsecond, oh. maybe there is a chance after all. but no! those two are so obstinant i want to claw my own skin off. so arrogant? you think you deserve a name? wearing stolen faces.

{what are you trying to show me,} i had asked mind, cause i know he would be doing that - that’s just what the mind does. nothing without purpose. he tapped the paintbrush on the wall. the paintbrush splattered a bit. it struck me. not as neat as he usually is. in fact, that’s something the heart would do. regardless, i was sitting there, just waiting. maybe he hadn’t logicked this out after all. maybe he just wanted to see me? ha. i hope not. [change.] is what he returned. [i can change these walls.] there was a breath. i’d say He was taking one too. it doesn’t quite make sense, in those words, but that was the feeling i had. i could hear Him. and mind was shutting him out. [and you can too.] he was obviously really hesitant with it, immediately turning back to the wall as if avoiding my expression. what did he think i would think? {oh, you’re so right mind. thanks for showing me this.} HA. i tried to leave. his desperation surprised me. [just hear me out. just hear me out,] and he was barely skirting around the please, as if i wouldn’t notice. [you’ll see.] something in it convinced me. he was pleading to something that would never listen, and yet he went on pleading. it doesn’t matter what it was about it, cause next time i’ll make sure i’m not convinced by it again.

but it was just him and me and his little art project, so i sat down. of course, i wasn’t convinced. but a smile was twitching at his lips, as if this was a little win. war of attrition. but i refuse to break down - pity for him, isn’t that.