#I really just wanna keep helping people
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I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing theā DPxDC Prompt
āWoah. You look like shit."
Granted, thatās probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; heās not running on 100% right now either.
The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.
"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."
And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.
The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.
If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.
"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.
"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.
"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.
The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.
He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."
There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.
"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."
Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"
"Daniel? Is that you?"
His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.
#I AM LOUDLY PUSHING THE BATDAD AGENDA#anywaysā add ons are encouraged i wanna talk more dpxdc with folks i just cant find any aus i really like enough to engage with#which is nobody's fault and its why im making my own content in order to reach more people#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpdc#dc x dp#dpxdc prompts#i took a āwhich batfam member are you (except its personal)ā quiz a few days ago#and got bruce wayne. and then was promptly read to filth why im most like him and it rudely but accurately explained why im the most like#him. it also consequently explained to me why i like him so much. whenever i see him in his kindest form i see a mirror looking back#anyways lots of ādanny rejecting bruce as a parentā aus. may i present: bruce and danny finding family in each other aus. batdad aus pls.#dpxdc prompt#dcxdp#this prompt can take place at any point of Batkid accumulation but personally i was imagining this as before Bruce has any of his kids yet#eldest brother danny supremacy and also just that one on one bonding#danny being someone who was never afraid of the dark as a kid and even less so as he got older. taking solace in it as a ghost because you#cant hide in the dark when you glow. his enemies can't jump out at him. but he can jump out at them. how can he be afraid of the dark when#the dark is where the stars like to live? there's a comfort in the shadows. there might be something hiding in it. but he's hiding in it to#blood blossoms eat ghosts headcanon#wasn't sure where i was gonna go with this at the beginning and then i caught steam.#batman casually kidnaps an orphan upon kid's request. also the kid was Actively Dying Of Poison. What was he gonna do?? NOT help him?#mister 'keeps candy in his utility belt specifically for scared children'??? no way.
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]
a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious
i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me
as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy
#snap chats#may you forgive me anon i always feel awkward explaining things AVELKJEAKLJ#i feel esp awkward cause i haven't read toooo much of the comics yet- like ive read. an ok amount so far krakoa wise#can you guys tell im fighting god himself to Not write a fuckin. NOVEL#im so sorry i have an over-explaining problem my mom was mean to me growing up but anyways#i definitely want to read more and more outside krakoa. the more i read the more im fascinated by these two and their history#but to continue my prattling. as if the three paragraphs above arent enough This Is Not A Thesis RELAX#i think a. 'poignant' moment i think adds to what i like about charles too is that soliloquy where he recognizes people dont like him#yet he could always be worse- like if he's bad now to others imagine if he really just said Fuck It All#it's simple but so am i whaddyagonnadoboutit. i mean that point itself could be discussed but i'm trying to keep this brief bear with me#i so bad want to know what issue that's from tho all i know is that it's from krakoa but i neeeed the whole context#i think like. an additional bullet point to charles i also like is his loneliness#and i say this cause- I Say From My Amateur-Psychology Armchair- it's a component of why he's so earnest to help#but im keeping this point in the tags until i can confidently verify that with myself after some more reading#Unfortunately a favorite pass time of mine is psychoanalyzing characters like why else you think i major in psychology smh#im going to force myself to cap the post here because i ended up typing like 20 more tags just rambling#and as i said id like to keep this simple and clean !!!!! i have sat here for like four hours answering this ngl#ignore the fact half that time was spent getting distracted by solitaire and riffling cards ok I Am Very Easily Distracted#but fr when it comes to charles and erik- charles esp imo#i feel like i need to write a whole paper just so i can mention the nuances of the characters and like. EVERYTHING#because again six decades is A Lot of time for writing decisions to be made and for their characters to change over time#im a glazer but i wanna be a nuanced glazer yk. is that glazing at that point-- w/e anyway#its a lot. so today you will have to tolerate a very Blah answer from me which i must apologize for#down the line once ive read a comfortable amount more varying from multiple eras maybe ill revisit this question more in depth#as of right now tho .... chat i wanna get legion of x so bad i skimmed it and hhhhhhhhim gonna throw UP#i need to shake charles like a ragdoll BUT ANYWAY. bye bye for now lovelies !!!!!!!#please forgive me if i didnt answer your question efficiently ..#here i am saying i wanted to keep the tag count brief and yet !!! jesus christ. shut up My God I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT
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Iām gonna be out most of the day bc Iāll be helping my dad with a big shopping trip plus being out after, so Iām going to be super duper exhausted
I donāt do well in crowded or loud places in the slightest, I get woozy and tired and I feel miserable or like Iām gonna pass out, and if the shopping isnāt gonna make me wanna cry, the outing after will bc itās gonna be packed with lots of noise and people
I donāt say this because I want to complain, I just wanna give a super quick warning that I might not be active tomorrow as well as today bc when I get exhausted, my mental health tends to decline as well ;-;
so- a bit of a warning that I may poof a bit (sorry! š£)
#But yeah :)#hopefully Iāll be able to sleep it off tonight but since school is tomorrow might end up still tired and stressed (įµāį“ā)#lol Iām trying not to complain or make a stink about it whilst still being informativeā#Edit: uh so I donāt know whatās wrong with me this morning#But itās already starting to go to crap unfortunately#Hgnhh I wanna talk but I keep telling myself itās selfish to talk about how I feel#Idk Iām just messed up man#Feel like crap#eating earlier didnāt help it just made me feel worse#I donāt wanna go shopping or to the outing :(#But my dad said he needs help#And I donāt think I have a choice for the outing#And school tmrw :(#I donāt wanna do this I really font#I think Iām breaking down#Yeah Iām breaking down#<- thatās dramatic Iām sorry#Edit 2: if I trigger myself so badly that I have a really quick and strong breakdown will that make me fine for the rest of the day#Bc omg I have things I need to do! I canāt mope around and be dramatic all day!#I hate this! I donāt want it! Literally any other day would have been doable!#I canāt just ask my dad to stay home from the outing either because then that would entail me explaining why I donāt wanna go and Iād cry-#-in front of him and I donāt wanna cry in front of people#I hate this so much#i wish I could just poof into nonexistence#š¾#<- atp itās a vent#Edit 3: Iām trying really hard ace but petting my dog isnāt working
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I donāt really have the right words but i like the idea of Hobie doing quick checks for peopleās safety without even really moving too much, as both a skill learned from his childhood and just a way he would be anyway. Like letās say Gwen is calling him and sheās crying but sounds very detached. Hobieās gonna do a quick mental checklist like this: (Injured? -> Alone? -> Aware? -> Show up -> distract as hiding weapons -> calm her -> check speech -> move location? -> check for injury) and it gets more complex as need be. Heād do this with all his friends and the people he helps in general, and itās a quick and barely noticeable process unless he tells you heās even doing that, which he usually doesnāt. I also like to think he was kind of doing this when he was talking to Miles on the way to meet Miguel, just very toned down (for him).
#like. you know how people keep you talking to keep you distracted and your body ends up giving away a ton of info like that#miles has a nurse mom and is so nursebug to me. so he can also do this but purely medical not mental health really besides do u wanna talk?#so he can pick up on what hobieās doing sometimes#but yeah hobie does this whenever he thinks his friends are in serious danger of hurting themselves#and i think growing up the way he did (in the comics) really. made this urge to protect and check stronger but he keeps it leashed. which#is such an unhobie thing to do but thereās a fine line between control/not trusting and concern for wellbeing yknow#and he sees leashing the habit as the lesser of two evils really#anyway i realize how autistic this kinda looks. i was actually trying to achieve the opposite but yknow how it is with me#wait wait to clarify i donāt think miles is bad with helping with mental health i think he is just not as experienced/good at it as Hobie+#might be in his sorta cold hard truth learn to live with me way#hobie brown#spiderpunk#spider punk#m&m posts
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the irony of one the first main things established about omori as a character is that he's known for his great memory as if he hasn't lost the entire fucking plot repeatedly for years.
like he has a great memory!! if you don't take into account He's Actually The God Of Repression.
#replaying the game aggaaaiinnnn#now with full appreciation for foreshadowingggg#omori#omori spoilers#raven rambles#.....should probably have like a tag specifically for playing incase people wanna block it lmfao#raven plays omori#fr though he has a great memory until he forgets minor details like he was designed to help sunny forget everything#goddddddd it kinda makes you wonder though how much of it he's aware of#it's implied he still remembers basil after deep well. but I dont know if he's aware he's actively causing everyone else's#memory of him to disappear. like yeah yeah deep well is designed to make him forget too. he set himself up#to make sure sunny never reached blackspace. the loop resets if they fail. if they die#but the whole branch coral dialogue makes it seem like yes. omori is still very aware of basil's existence.#I have a lot of thoughts on deep well.#and especially omori not really realizing he's the one sending basil to blackspace because in past loops it was stranger who confronted him#his guilt of leaving basil is the one thing still tying sunny to the real world. mari is dead. he can't do anything about that except forge#basil is still alive.#as long as he remembers that basil exists#he will keep unknowingly dragging himself back to blackspace. blackspace would stay hidden if stranger wasnt haunting him lmao#he starts the loop by sending him there and then follows through on it by searching for him because he's not yet aware its his own fault#idk it's. aaaaaaaaaaaa#the hug in the true ending is everything to meeeeeee#I have a lot of thoughts about blackspace too but not right nowww thats an essay for much laterrrrr#there's just something about the ādeity forgets theyre a deity and rediscovers it later and denies it and forgets againā that kills me#ESPECIALLY WITH THE FUCKING TIME LOOP#and then there's the route additions. he can accept it but he'll try to fight sunny to end it one final time#looooookkkk I'm veryyyy norMALLL ABOUT THIS GAAAAME#hylia and omori remind me of each other in their sort of ignorance of their own power. hylia being the reincarnations of zelda#see it all loops back to just Tropes I Fucking Love#there's a pattern here. do you see the pattern?
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One of the things I love about Glass Onion is the way that the camera and music work together to tell nonverbal jokes.
Like when Benoit basically has to hold Miles' hand to get him to the conclusion that someone reset the puzzle box Benoit lies about receiving:
Benoit asks if it's possible that someone reset the box, and Miles then declares that someone must have reset the box like it is this huge reveal - and the camera zooms out while the music subtly swells as though he really has figured out something smart, when actually he literally restated what Benoit just said.
#original#I love the reveal that he's not even a smart con artist he's just a piece of shit#he's just a shameless copycat that people keep enabling to do bad things bc they assume he knows what he's talking about bc he's rich#like that line in Fiddler on the Roof - 'it won't matter if I'm wrong or if I'm right cuz you're rich they think you really know!'#glass onion#knives out glass onion#benoit blanc#Daniel Craig#ed norton#I hope the YouTuber sideways does a video about this because he does incredible music theory videos about movie scores#and I bet there are a bunch of hidden meanings within the music that I have no idea how to pick out#that man is like a wizard to me I don't understand how someone can understand music that much!#So cool!#I started this movie like 2 hours ago and I'm barely half an hour in cuz I keep stopping to write film theory essays on Tumblr#oh Adderall you cad!#I have no regrets I feel like this is helping me understand film better. i care a lot about the language of Storytelling#and I must say my favorite medium is film. I am writing a graphic novel right now but if I knew I could just skip that part and make it#into a show. I would do that. I don't wanna draw that much! I like drawing! but I want to see it as a show!!#this is too many drawings!!!!!#but for various reasons the film industry is not really a great place for me - or even possible as a physically disabled person#hard to work yourself up to the director's chair when all the entry positions involve standing for 14 hours at a time#I hope that if I ever do manage to make my graphic novel into a TV show that I will maintain enough control over the project to ensure#accessible hiring practices and workplaces#but in the meantime I guess I have to make waaaay too many drawings#no I can't shorten the story I don't have that kind of control it is an epic saga and the world's longest Slow Burn and that is that
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can i just be emotional on main for a sec & thank y'all again for sticking with me & supporting my weird little brand here these last few months while i've been like. worse than ever about getting any writing done? just like. hhh. all of u putting up with my shitposts & liking the hcs and whatever else i shove out onto the dash while i'm struggling with energy for replies, and everyone who still wants to plot & develop our dynamics despite me being the WORST at keeping up with dms (& being somehow even worse at being the one to actually initiate dms), and!!!! those of you who continue to indulge me by sending me asks despite the fact that you've been waiting 5 years for me to reply to our thread!!! i appreciate u guys sm, like i don't think u actually understand just how much. i mean this so sincerely: thank you
#writing & chatting with u guys and just shoving our characters together is one of the few things in my life rn that still brings me joy#so it's been really infuriating to be having such a hard time doing it#and that fear of people losing interest or getting bored or annoyed w me because of that struggle doesn't exactly help#it's something i'm working to overcome bc i KNOW those of u who matter are the ones who'll continue to stick around but ajshkfds#idk i've been wading through the existential dread these last few days trying to avoid succumbing to it again & dumb little rp things are#part of what help keep me going. so just like. yeah. thank u sm ;A;#a special shoutout to my newer mutuals too for joining me at a weird time & still sticking around to engage w me despite my slowness#i'm v excited about all of the new dynamics we're building or will eventually build ;u; ā”#anyway. i'll shut up now. sorry for all the blabbering i'm just emotional today and wanted to express my gratitude to all of u ā”ā”ā”#wanna try to write at some point today but idk if it'll happen or not. we'll see ;~;#āā Ė ā° ā° ooc ā® don't @ me.
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Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps
#SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER AHHHHH#I hope we manage to find a cute bsd pfp it would be literally my dream#little vent tw!!#it's been so long since I matched pfps last time was with my ex who started being wayyyyy too weird..#and the other time was with a friend who started ghosting me some months later just because I didnt give her enough adopt me pets or smth š#and like. her stopping talking to be literally broke me as a person. it was devastanting for like 13yo me#woahhh thank you k. now I have social anxiety and keep dobting whether people really want me there or not#I still have a sort of love hate relationship w her but like its been over 2 years maybe 3 why do I still care abt it sm :<#especially since our other bestie is wayy more affectionate w k than w me it just makes me feel so weird like im sort of a 3rd wheel#but at least the friend im gonna match with is the sweetest person ever and we can be silly together :333#unfortunately we only know eachother from a course so we always have to wait 2 weeks to see eachother#and even tho i still see k almost every day shes pretty different now#but ive been feeling so so happy the last few days since school started and im afraid I might go back to being how I was when she returns#because. I bet my two friends will keep being silly together and ill have to sit w my ex again cuz hes still part of our friend group#I mean hes a nice and funny guy but I figured that a relationship wont work with us. I tried it and I just wanna be friends#I have a lot of fun w him but like in a platonic way#and im afraid he still thinks we should be together#meanwhile my besties keep flirting w eachother like??#I mean its pretty funny as a joke but I cant help but feeling kinda jealous especially because I used to have a huge crush in one of them#talked a bit too much ooopssss#Im just trying to move on but I hope k coming back doesnt start everything over again#anyways!! I love my bestie from the course smmmmmm Im still so so happy :D wish we could see eachother more#random stuff#chaos#friendship#violet rambles
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The choice from Sunday is kinda weird cuz the options are build a cage in the house for the bird or build a nest where it fell and one leads to the bird growing up but dying once its set free and the other one probably leads to it dying much sooner. They both feel like the same option and even tho obviously the most kind, caring, morally right thing to do is keep it inside so at least it lives longer even if it's in a cage. But like to me both options suck and are basically nothing cuz I'm sorry if I look like a bad person for this, but I'm not sorry, but I'm not fuckin touching a wild animal. Even if I knew it was there even if I bothered to check out the sound to find a bird, which I wouldn't, I'm not touching it. I'm not even getting close enough to find out it's too young to fly yet. Whatever happens to it happens man and I'll never know what happens to it cuz I'm not even gonna look at it. Like, where's the 'you seem like an asshole but really it's quite a normal choice' in this whole trial thing??? That's usually an option you can pick. Sunday!!! Sunday, listen!!! There are more than two choices!!! You don't have to always do something!!!! You can just walk away!!! You don't have to try to do something for everyone all the time!!! Think about yourself sometimes!!! It's not selfish I promise!!! SUNDAY!!! OH MY GOD HIS WINGS ARE COVERING HIS EARS HE CANT HEAR US!!!!
#i genuinely dont wanna pick anything#like okay. i know they dont have animal control or a shelter in this setting. but irl genuinely just call some people and see if theyll take#it if you wanna do something about it.#you are not getting my ass to touch a wild animal of any kind. i dont care what the situation is#i was asked once if i could help take care of some baby mice a friend accidentally ruined the nest of and a shelter wouldnt take them#and i was like. im sorry but no cuz i know for a fact im not equipped to handle something like that and i dont wanna touch wild mice and#i KNOW at least some of them will die and i wanna now have to deal with dead mice. and you know what happened?#the friend couldnt keep up with how often they needed to be fed and they died. and now you have dead mice.#something could have happened where they survived outside like the mom came back and fixed it maybe or at least one fended for itself#like its a shame the nest accidentally got ruined but it was an accident and things like that happen all the time#yes its an accident you caused but in the case of something like that i really dont think its suddenly your responsibility now#and i know itll make you feel better to try to make up for it but now you have dead mice#and i know for some people at least trying to help makes them feel better but now we're at the point where i just dont understand#i just cant comprehend the feeling or the idea or the thought.#so its like. i get sunday feels like he HAS to do something for everyone all the time but its genuinely turning him into a monster and he#cant see that. like trying all the time despite getting nothing done will tear you apart. let yourself rest#do the small things you can do around you. dont put the weight of everything on you all the time otherwise you wont get anything done#and youll start thinking not doing anything isnt even an option anymore#i promise its okay. take a break.#im not even referring to sunday anymore. you š«µ its okay. take a break. make yourself feel better#then come back to things with a clearer calmer mind and do the small things you know you can do#dont force yourself to do everything because you feel like you have to. itll be okay. i promise#hsr 2.2 spoilers#hsr spoilers#oh right this is a spoiler post ifnfjfnfk#long post
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Yāall what if Lilith didn't choose to take a vaycay in Heaven? What if she got redeemed?
#if she got redeemed and it got hidden by Adam and Lute#then having Sir Pentious pop up in front of Sera and Emily would have been also to keep that possibility from being hidden again#not sure what deal she would have made with Adam in that case#other than maybe to keep the exterminators from cleaning house altogether once they learned it was possible??#maybe give a double meaning to Adam's line about no one learning the truth???#and it would make sense Lilith seemed by all accounts a good wife and mother as well as a good queen who wanted the best for her people#so it stands to reason she could have been redeemed especially considering her sin wasn't like...huge#maybe she got taken out during an exorcism since she wasn't technically hellborn she would have been fair game#and it would make sense that she'd want to spare Lucifer the pain of finding her dead so she slunk off somewhere???#only to then find herself alive in heaven with no means of telling her family#it would also explain why she's just sitting alone on a beach instead of interacting with people when she's clearly a people person#she doesn't wanna be there so she'd rather be left alone#and if her deal was to help spare the rest of hell it would make sense as a perspective for having her go talk to Charlie#plus it gives a chance for her to be a rebellious little shit and tell Charlie her idea works and not to abandon it#if viv wants her and Luci to still be a thing and a healthy thing this would be a hell of an angle to hit it at#as well as giving Lucifer more motivation to take an active role in things#and maybe earn redemption for himself too??#idk but i think that would be really interesting especially with the fans expectations leaning so far the other way rn#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel theory#hazbin hotel lilith
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Please BE EXCITED about stuff you like/ want to be excited about š That's what life supposed to be about, finding joy in the smallest things, in the things we enjoy and love. And the people that judge us for having that joy in our hearts lose their own life, because they spend too much time judging someone else's life instead of doing something with their own. FUCK them
this is one of my favorite asks and i love you
#nobody will ever stop me from getting excited about things i like#i just always feel like i'm not allowed to share that excitement with anybody directly because of being made fun of in the past#or like i at least have to tone it down by like 99% and make it very brief#because of fear of rejection so i keep it to myself contained in my own space#sometimes i really wanna talk about my favorite things with somebody but i'm like#'nobody knows or cares about this. what if i send something and they hate it and tell me it's horrible'#(a reaction i've been the most used to. either that or just silence)#and i wouldn't know who would actually be interested or if i would be putting them in a situation#where they're not interested at all but they're too nice to say it and then i feel annoying if i keep talking about it#because now even if it isn't SAID that they hate it i still always feel like people are thinking that behind it all#so like if somebody came at me right now telling me everything i like is horrible#that itself wouldn't really bother me because i could just block and continue life without a second thought about that person specifically#because that's just unnecessary and rude regardless of what it's about and i would assume it's just somebody looking to stir things up#delete/block. not taking it personally and not worth thinking about#but it's the anxiety built up from it happening for so long and so consistently from so many people and some that i used to be close to#that now it feels to me that everybody feels that way even if i know LOGICALLY that it isn't true. the feeling is still there#it's one of the long-term effects that are so hard to get rid of once they're set#this is just another thing about myself to work on for probably my entire life#but russ has been helping me with so much lately it's unbelievable
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I woke up to this and am really thinking about this
#this guy proudly proclaims being an ''extremely progressive bisexual interested in expanding democracy & ending poverty''#how progressive and effective in ending poverty by ranting about helping OTHER countries when natural disasters destroyed all the resources#what do I expect from someone that brings up democracy unironically though#when these people realize you gotta make change for your OWN place of living first if you wanna have this mindset I will know peace#sounds like my damn mother if she wasn't racist you gotta choose something to put work into and stop fretting over the whole world#yeah it fucking sucks and needs to be addressed but what are you gonna do by bitching on a fascist social media site?#you're not ending world hunger by ignoring the very people you spout performative nonsense in the name of#you may be a POC too sir but in the end you are also American you're not immune to what the Residue(tm) did to POC here#sue me for saying I don't really keep up with most politics because I can't vote or anything but fuck even I know this shit#care about politics and changing lives? do something to make that happen because bitching ion the internet isn't changing anything#I'm not even fucking mad I'm just in AWE because I've NEVER encountered one of these people responding to ME before#I'm speechless yet have so much to say because I got this reminder that this really isn't deemed common sense like it is to me#this is my most popular tweet too and it's a damn political reply I'm kinda pissed at that though dhyuigbfuyh#EDIT I JUST REALIZED THAT HE'S NOT EVEN GOT ANY AUTHORITY TO SPEAK ON THIS SHIT BECAUSE HE'S 4TH GEN ARLINGTONIAN#say to my Native ass that the fascist regime should collapse by destroying the whole country to help the reservations boy#you're throwing yourself into the gringo corner of your own volition this is too funny
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I love bi people I love bi people so much but I can't see this topic coming up every day in the course of looking at bi blogs. I feel so fucking insane rn and I'm probably being at least partly unreasonable but fuck it's just EVERY DAY now.
#I try so hard to keep myself to bisexual issues but like#what am I supposed to do if I see this stuff#Sometimes I wanna delete this blog but#I feel I've been told I've seen really helpful to other bi people in the past so I dont wanna stop that support if I can#but then again how helpful can my blog possibly be if I'm just fraking out over this twice a month#I don't even write bi related essays anymore#because it's obvious to me statistics don't get through people's heads#I dunno sorry for venting :(
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somehow while ive been going through the unbearable torment nexus ive still been able to keep up with my album-a-day-for-a-year thing so far
#like yeah brother i wish i was dead right now but im not. somehow i havent killed myself so i keep checking out albums#but i dont wanna undermine that im in unbearable pain rn lmao#my therapist said that wasnt good for me to pretend#im very much still in a torturous life and i feel helpless cause i dont think i can ever escape#but at least ive had the motivation to keep up one thing yknow#or im just crazy and psychotic and this made no sense whatever im going back to my suffering hibernation now#at the very least being honest cant hurt even if it doesnt help all that much but im really at the lowest ive ever been my dudes#ive never been lower than this#im failing at all the aspirations of a healthy person but at least im keeping up on the album thing#i know that maybe doesnt seem significant to other people#but when the only thing i can do when i get off work so i dont die of starvation is get in bed#but i still make an effort to hold myself to this commitment#thats at least a tiny bit of light im trying to put in my life no matter how hard i just wanna lay down and die all the time
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#i wanna work around kids again so badly#seeing my cousin today just really solidified how much i love kids#and yet i know i cant go back because i so severely doubt i will find a place that could accommodate me#i dont wanna have daily shutdowns because im getting stuck out of ratio with no help#but i miss those kids so much#i wanna go help and nurture#and i know its something im made for#any career aptitude test i take has childcare in top 5#it just feels like another thing that has been robbed of me because of my disabilities#not that anyone in my life would admit that i have any#why does it feel like everything i love is impossible because im broken#i love baking and the fiid industry but it takes so much out if me that sometimes i wonder if its even a viable plan#everything is so exhausting and yet i just have to keep miving and burning out and getting denied because im wrong#because there is something so wrong with me that people grow ti hate me and will hate and use me because im just a tool#thats all i am#and tools dint get decisions on what job they wanna do or responsibilities they can handle or whi they wanna be#they just get used and used and used until they break and then they are thrown away#are the cracks visible yet?#i dont wanna be useless#i just want to do what i love#is that too much to ask for
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