#I really hope this helps everyone be kinder

[frenchiefan]

The Great Izzy Hands Divide

Hello all. I come to you a Izzy neutral, huge TV enjoyer with media studies background, here to try and answer the fandom’s polarizing, puzzling, and at time painful question of what is this Izzy divide? And how do we move on from it so we can all have fun, and everyone can feel safe. 

And not get viscous over whatever happens in season 2. 

As it’s clear-I’m writing anonymously because the tension has gotten-that intense and I’m earnestly afraid of backlash from both sides. That’s not to say EVERYONE in the OFMD twitter/tumblr fandom is part of this polarizing Izzy divide, but the discussions, discourses, pain, and attacks, have become so loud I believe most people-even a neutral person like myself have heard about them/seen them on our twitters/tumblrs. I love this show so much and have been in the online community since it aired in March, so a lot of this is based on my observations-and from what friends on each side have told me. For the sake of protecting everyone who has received online hate or are just trying to have fun in fandom-I won’t be listing any usernames, or quoting specific tweets/blog posts, but if you’re doubtful about any of my talking points you need only check Izzy tags on tumblr/twitter. 

My hope in this meta is to unpack what’s going on, where are these sides coming from, what do they seem to believe, and how can we collectively move forward no matter how we feel about Izzy to just have fun with an extremely inclusive, progressive, funny, romantic, and queer show that’s obviously meant very much to many of us in terms of representation. My biggest goal is making folks feel able to have fun in fandom spaces-and everyone to be a little kinder. 

So to start off-let me do my best to summarize what is going on for those who aren’t active on twitter/tumblr or are so deep on one side/in a corner they don’t see much discourse: 

In some pockets of the fandom there is a very heated schism over the character of Izzy Hands that goes beyond just ‘folks who dislike Izzy as a character’ and ‘folks who like Izzy as a character’. 

There are those who proclaim his character is inherently horrible and irredeemable and anyone who is a big fan of him must by proxy, be a horrible person too. For the sake of this analysis these are the “Izzy-haters”. The opposite side appears to be a group who really adore Izzy, and see him as a much softer and sympathetic antagonist/anti-hero and believe those who hate Izzy lack empathy or are very puritanical and are misreading his character. I’ll refer to them as the “Izzy-apologists”. 

So how did this come about? And why’s that worth writing meta on? Don’t all fandoms have character and ships wars and so on? Absolutely. But it’s gotten to the point some people are getting constantly harassed and doxed or people are afraid to even share thoughts or fan-made content about the show without fear of retaliation or being dragged into a divide. So where does this fall in the context of fandom? 

Whenever a character becomes a fan favorite, some of their fans look for ways to justify their actions, and/or ship them with numerous people. This happens in all fandoms. Look at Harry Potter (cringe I know, absolutely fuck JK Rowling, but I’m assuming it’s popular enough you all know the reference I will make here), back in its hay-day one of the most popular ships was with Harry and his constant bully/rival Draco-because Draco became such a fandom darling. This was called ‘slash’ shipping, to purposefully ship two characters together who were enemies/rivals/at odds in the media and it has remained very common in all fandoms. 

It’s not a bizarre phenomena for people to relate/find an antagonist sexy and want to put them in situations, especially if they get exciting romantic/sexual tension out of it. People can like villains/antagonists for many reasons: maybe it’s their confidence, their camp, their backstory is complex, or something as simple as their design is sexy. It’s not bizarre either, for fandom to develop characters with little to no backstory or fill in parts of their backstory that ‘fanon’ (fan content considered canon amongst a fandom) becomes so big it’s challenged between fans if someone rejects it-even if it has no canonical basis in the media itself. 

So Izzy fans (I say fans not apologists yet) began doing so, writing Izzy fic, making Izzy art, making Izzy/Ed backstories, so on and so forth. Typical fandom behavior. However as is also typical fandom behavior-some people don’t enjoy seeing some of those slash pairings, when the canonical interactions between those characters involved pain. So certain fans began making it clear they didn’t want to see it/disliked it. Others pointed out some Ed characterization in certain pieces of content could be slightly problematic in terms of racial stereotypes if it involved making Ed as consistently violent toward Izzy after canon implied Ed only resorted to violence toward him for having his life threatened. And again, as usual in fandom, a few overzealous folks can really stir the pot and make it worse for everyone. 

From what I observed: a few key ‘Izzy-haters’ popped up and began making the sweeping generalization that all big “Izzy fans” were racists and white, for liking Izzy in any capacity after he hurt his POC boss Ed. Some of those folks were big on twitter, and POC themselves, so their voices reached far-and well-lots of people wanting to be sure they didn’t get called racists themselves or accidently support something racist quickly joined in on these call-outs and the mounting generalizations regarding any sort of sympathetic Izzy content that diverged from canon. This generalizations became about the fans of Izzy themselves than just Izzy. 

Logically, for the Izzy fans who weren’t going to be shamed into dropping their favorite character, this led to them becoming very defensive of Izzy to defend themselves. Arguments came up that Izzy was actually harmless, Stede was just as bad as Izzy, or the other characters’ actions against Izzy were far worse and the show’s framing was wrong to cast him as ‘the worst’, ‘Izzy is fictional and it doesn’t matter-the show is itself is messily written so is anyone to criticize Izzy’. These folks became “Izzy-apologists”, who instead of just being fans of Izzy-would only be fans of Izzy if they could prove he was unproblematic. 

Things escalated and escalated with people getting intense on each side. An Izzy-apologist made a rape joke that went a mini-viral about wishing sexual assault on all people who hate Izzy. Some POC felt uncomfortable staying in fandom or going through main tags from some of the stereotyping HCs/content around characters of color shipped with Izzy. It bears noting though, the most extreme harm appears to have been done toward the Izzy fans group. There was an instance where doxing was attempted and potentially succeeded against an Izzy fan, with a bunch of their closest followers being threatened as well, leading a large major of Izzy fans  on twitter to become especially anxious, and turn even the most neutral person, or mild Izzy fan, into a stern Izzy-apologist out of fear that anyone who aligned themselves with “Izzy-haters” would commit the same kind of horrifyingly harmful behavior that could affect peoples’ off-line lives. And that if they couldn’t prove Izzy was actually a harmless character-they were in danger for openly liking him. 

So that leads us to our current state of affairs. Some Izzy-haters proudly proclaim their disdain for Izzy and his big fans, occasionally getting into arguments with apologists over how much Izzy is at fault vs Ed, or dismissing anyone who likes Izzy in any capacity as racist. Any POC who claim to be an Izzy-fan are often erased or accused of race-faking or internalized racism. People who seem to support Izzy ships/art/fics with likes/retweets that are sympathetic toward him are characterized as apologists or racist as well. Izzy-apologists or stans get hateful anons on tumblr or mean quote retweets on twitter. Pretty hostile. 

On the flip side, some Izzy-apologists have taken to calling anyone who doesn’t outright love Izzy, or mainly engage in canon ship content as “Gentle-beardies” and speak about them in mocking, referring to them as boring, mean people who lack sympathy for Izzy because he’s an underdog or an old man who isn’t attractive enough to get sympathy. There’s a belief from some that if you profess any dislike toward Izzy you’re probably an asshole who’s ready to dox everybody who does like Izzy. Many POC are often shut-down or ignored-or told they don’t understand history/media studies when they point out issues with certain Izzy HCs/fics. People who dislike Izzy or pointed out in his laws in good faith have also received hateful anons or mocking quote retweets. Again-pretty hostile.

And that leaves…a lot of tense neutral people in the middle. Anyone who ranges from mildly enjoying Izzy to disliking him without making it personal. Folks who would happily write fics or do art or funny HCs about their thoughts on Izzy with others but are afraid to get lumped in any category. People trying to appease sets of friends who will react very strongly if you seem to lean to one side of the Izzy divide that isn’t their own. 

So I’d like to try…and see if I can try and break down where these two groups' beliefs are spanning from-and see if there is someone who is actually ‘right’ in all this. I think I recently cracked the code on why no matter how many debates break out on twitter or tumblr over Izzy there never seems to be any progress to peace-and it is because the two sides are viewing Izzy in extremely different lenses. 

Let’s start with the Izzy-haters. From what I’ve gathered, they’re of the belief Izzy is an extremely racist, homophobic, irredeemable bigoted character, a la a neo-nazi biker at the bar who’s bad side suddenly comes out once he gets a chance to show his power. Therefore anyone who is somehow seeing Izzy as sympathetic or redeemable is clearly harboring those internalized racisms or homophobias themselves. This lens sees Izzy as the ultimate villain of the show, it views Izzy in the frame of history in the show’s time period, as a white man with the power of whiteness in the 1700s, which he uses to bully others and eventually tear down Ed mentally. 

Their evidence usually comes from the following talking points: 

Izzy’s treatment of crew of color: consistently bullies and talks down Fang and Ivan, and once in power uses it to have crew of color doing hard labor. 

Izzy hates gay people: Izzy mocks Lucius when he catches him with Pete and clearly targets him for his overt feminine labeled qualities of queerness-similar to his distain for Stede and his lack of more traditional masculinity. 

Izzy sees Ed as an animal: Izzy sees Ed as an object and only wants to see him living out a stereotype of a violent POC, and Izzy sells out Ed to the English in episode 8 just to have control of him afterwards. 

Izzy-apologists look at Izzy in a nearly opposite light. Izzy is not so much a villain, as just a misunderstood antagonist-or even anti-hero/prickly old man who is harmless at the end of the day. He’s short, he has stomach issues, he doesn’t have that much power. He’s relatable because he’s trying his best at his job and his boss doesn’t appreciate him. This lens looks at Izzy as a queer, lower socio-economic, character without much power in the story he’s in, just trying his best to stay alive in the harsh world of piracy. 

The Izzy-apologists often answer the above Izzy-Hater points with these arguments: 

Izzy’s actions are not from racism & do not cause that kind of harm: Izzy is frustrated no one is working as hard as him on the ship since Ed is busy playing dress up, Fang is off getting sketched, and Izzy is just trying to survive, hence why he’s so harsh to everyone, and tired of being underappreciated. Race has nothing to do with it. 

Izzy is gay himself and therefore can’t be homophobic: Izzy is clearly in love with Ed, as evidenced from interviews with Con O’neill & David Jenkins, and Izzy is just annoyed with Lucius and Stede being rich and/or is jealous of them and their freedom to be be openly queer.

Izzy is in love with Ed and served him for years: Izzy would not work for a man of color for years and try to protect him if he was racist. Izzy thought Calico Jack would get Ed out of the English raid before they showed up and only ‘took custody’ of Ed to save his life after things back-fired. 

Both of these sides can seem pretty persuasive on their own without any context. And when the two groups are looking at Izzy in such vastly different lenses it makes sense why neither is ever going to agree or compromise on their viewpoints. It would be like a set of people arguing about the abilities of a rabbit-but one side thinks they’re talking about “Bugs Bunny��� from “Looney Toons” and the other thinks they’re talking about “Thumper” from Disney’s “Bambi”. If one side goes “Well the rabbit loves wearing dresses” the other is going to call them outright liar-since they think they’re talking about an entirely different rabbit. They are very rarely going to reach a compromise because they are coming from two vastly different perceptions of what a rabbit is-just like these two sides are coming from two vastly different perceptions of who Izzy is and what he does. 

So is either side “right”? As a neutral person, with friends on each side, here’s my perspective. 

Let’s get to the elephant in the room. Is Izzy racist/homophobic or just misunderstood? That is the question. Because most progressive queer fans of a progressive queer show, would be very uncomfortable if they were stanning a character who was akin to “Hans Landa”( the Nazi from Inglorious Basterds or “Calvin Candie”(the plantation owner from “Django Unchianed). But because a few Izzy-Hater people very vocally read Izzy as akin to a Hans or Calvin, Izzy-apologists in the last few months went into full gear doing their best to assert-Izzy lacks any power and carries identities that would make it impossible for him to be like any of those characters, with metas, HCs, fics, and so on. 

I think the real answer comes from a misunderstanding of racism on both sides. A lot of people-especially white people, often think of racism in all or nothing terms. You’re either card-carrying Neo-Nazi member of the KKK, who loves Brexit to get rid of immigrants, or a monthly supporter of the ACLU, NAACP, and all other progressive racial rights groups who have never said or done a racist thing in their life. 

The reality is unfortunately and fortunately much more nuanced. Anti-racism studies tell us most of Western society itself was built on foundations of white supremacy and heteropatriarchy. Most countries of the world were colonized at some point, and had racist laws and processes built into their civilization. So small and big acts of racism exist every single day. Many people will do or say racist or homophobic things toward one group or another without ever intentionally trying to hurt anyone-but still have horrible impact-or an impact that adds to a smaller effect but still long term process of alienating others which becomes harmful. 

So what does that mean? It means people can often be racist or homophobic, or sexist or abliest, without ever consciously choosing to. Now it’s important to point out-in a good portion of those situations the harm they cause won’t be as intense as say, someone who is consciously and deliberately bigoted trying to get the outcome of causing pain to a group they have prejudice toward. The constant messages and systems in our society can contribute to something called “internalized bias” where society conditions a person to think about a certain group one way. In example-none of us have ever met a real elf, but so much media containing elves paints them as elegant, woodland, intelligent, and snobbish-that we would describe an elf like that if asked and expect them to behave like so. Well the same thing can happen when we see and hear stories of certain races stereotyped certain ways-we just assume certain certain behaviors are part of their defaults based on the stories we’ve been told-which can lead to far more dangerous situations if a group is being stereotyped as criminal or dangerous. 

But that doesn’t mean those people who are causing the smaller acts of unintentional harm, or unconsciously causing harm, should be entirely dismissed as innocent by naivete, and therefore allowed to go on. If a child breaks a window with a football you wouldn’t arrest them for deliberate vandalism-but nor would you simply ignore the matter without having a conversation about how to use footballs in the future to avoid breaking other peoples’ windows. 

Okay, what does this have to do with Izzy? Or Our Flag Means Death? If you check the meta tags of tumblr or articles written on the show, the queue is long of people who have analyzed and pointed out how well the show addresses race, racism, and so on in the show. It’s not a race blind show unlike some media adaptations (Like Bridgerton) where the different power structures of race in the modern day or the show’s time period, is never acknowledged. Episode five is extremely explicit in its addresses of race from how my fav Frenchie and Oluwande are treated. It addresses the inequalities of the 1700s while updating our protagonists enough from their asshole historical counterparts, that the show becomes and inclusive progressive story where racists are punished for their behavior. The show understands the nuance of racism and homophobia though, showcasing sometimes those unconscious moments can come up even from characters who mean well. 

We actually see a good number of unconscious acts of racism in the show-like when Stede and Pete assume the Native Nation ate the hostages when they’re captured in Episode two, or when Stede stays awkwardly silent to Badminton’s comments about his “colorful crew” in Episode one. It’s obvious the most egregious racists though in the show are meant to be the English navy, from the comments to their innuendos, to their positioning as the most disruptive villains in the show. If there are the equivalent to modern day hate-groups or bigots in the show-it’s them based on textual canon evidence alone. 

By that assertion-we know Izzy is not part of the navy. He is a pirate, he works with crew of color, and is in the show until episode 9 following most of Ed’s, a man of color, orders. Additionally, Izzy would not have sought the advice of Spanish Jackie, a black woman, if he were truly so bigoted he could not stand being below/taking help or orders from people of color. Therefore from what we’ve seen, it’s not really fair of Izzy-haters to assert Izzy is an absolute to his core violent bigot, and anyone who manages to love him after watching the show must be one too

To Izzy-haters’ points about Izzy mistreating the crew of color-it’s worth noting he’s just as awful to Pete and Lucius who are white in the show too. Izzy is clearly a grump who doesn’t have much affection or respect for anyone-unless they’re high ranking above him and proved their worth as a pirate like Ed or Jackie. 

As for Izzy being overtly homophobic-as in hating any form of homosexuality or same-sex relations, that doesn’t entirely track with him inviting Calico Jack to help when its made clear to Ed and Jack have had a previous sexual relationship. Granted-maybe Izzy wasn’t around or didn’t know that, but it bears thinking he probably knew Jack wasn’t entirely heterosexual, or Ed if he’s had previous relationships with men and Izzy continued working for him. 

To the final point of Izzy-haters, being that Izzy only sees Ed as an animal-it’s clear Izzy respected Ed’s reputation as Blackbeard and did care enough about him to send Calico Jack to try and save him before the English attacked, and make sure the English couldn’t execute him when it turned out he was there. Izzy says it himself in the text he’s “honored” to work for the “legendary Blackbeard” so he has some respect for that figure and humbleness toward it as well. There is some subtext to be gleamed from how Izzy smiles when Ed chokes him or even appears delighted after he realizes Ed has forced him to eat his toe, that he does harbor some sort of romantic or sexual feelings toward Ed-at least when he’s in his Blackbeard persona. 

With all that said, I think canon evidence of season one makes it clear to us Izzy is no Hans or Calvin, and therefore his fans are not stanning or attracted the show’s equivalent of a Neo-Nazi. It’s extremely unfair to decide anyone who is a fan of Izzy is racist, because the comedy of the show and nuance to his character make it clear that’s not his sole role in the show. So liking Izzy in and of itself is not an issue, and should not be treated as a crime or generalized that only “white” or “XYZ” people like Izzy. And it definitely should not lead to people jumping to the conclusion someone who likes Izzy is harboring some deep hatred themselves, or is anyway worthy of doxing/stalking/etc. 

So is that it-insanely long meta over-the Izzy-apologists are right? Well-as I said this is nuanced-as is the concept of racism and bigotry. While the text shows us Izzy is not to the level of bigot of a Neo-Nazi, I do think the text makes it clear to us Izzy is the antagonist for a reason and not a misunderstood little guy. 

A lot of Izzy-fan content delves into the idea of the hidden world of Izzy. There are popular posts out there that say things like “Say what you want about Izzy but if a child handed him a toy phone he would answer it” although we never see him interact with children in the show. There are lots of HCs about his backstory, many certain Izzy must come from a poor, working class background due to Oluwande’s comment that “most pirates don’t choose this lifestyle”. There’s especially a lot of fan content generated around Izzy’s subtextual and interview commented on queerness.  

Izzy is shipped with almost every male character in the show, especially with Ed and Stede or sometimes both at once. There are tons of metas and fics about Izzy’s repressed homosexuality and the shame and struggle he carries trying to be masucline in the rough world of piracy. Izzy being a trans man is an extremely popular headcanon too, to the point polls and threads and blog posts have been made about it. Some users have remarked they see Izzy as “inherently” trans, because of how much of an outsider he seems to them, referring to the fact he is shorter, teased, and seems unable to have the man of his desires, Ed. 

It’s clear Izzy-apologists see Izzy from this lens. A queer man, who is teased, overlooked, and unable to get the things he has worked so hard for and truly desires. He is not some swaggering Chris Evans pretty-boy, he is a small, easily flustered man-and he earns their sympathy and at times empathy. In comparison to Ed and Stede who are taller, and seem to be getting what they want from the narrative, Izzy is an underdog. He doesn’t have Ed’s charm and looks or Stede’s money and influence over Ed. So Izzy apologists will often assert Stede is a far worse character than Izzy-a rich queer man invading spaces and who callously ignores Ed’s feelings abandoning him on the beach. Izzy’s pushing of Ed to be Blackbeard is only so Ed will survive in the world of piracy, as much as it hurt Ed. 

For some Izzy-apologists Ed’s cutting off his Izzy’s toe was absolutely abusive and not a justified retaliation for the threat on his life, and shift the entire focus of the narrative that Izzy has been Ed’s constant victim-a trope that appears in many Izzy-apologist centered fics. Izzy is an “attack dog” or “sex toy” or “butler” to Ed-just tirelessly working for Ed all these years, out of desperation he’ll someday appreciate him. Some even are certain Izzy is Ed’s oldest friend. And the cruelest thing is Izzy is completely overlooked when an incompetent richer, and more effortlessly masculine man shows up and steals Ed’s heart. 

This viewpoint seems to be why Izzy-apologists to dismiss any accusations of racism or homophobia in fics or HCs, and label themselves the ‘fun’ part of the fandom, recounting fans of canon couples as dull and unimaginative or unable to empathize with the struggle of someone as marginalized as Izzy. 

The thing is, Izzy is not as marginalized in the canonical text as this popular fanon has made him out to be. As far as we know, canonically, Izzy is a cis white man, who has gained the benefits of it in the pirate world of OFMD. There’s nothing in the text to indicate he is poor or struggling, or specifically comes from an impoverished background. One could equally argue he came from a naval background hence his sense of his discipline like many historical pirates just as easily -as there just as little evidence. His first introduction is intimidating and held up as a contrast from Stede’s bumbling, that Izzy is the kind of ideal, masculine, pirate who commands respect. He nearly slices Stede apart in sword play until Oluwande and Pete assist in distracting Fang and Ivan. 

In Izzy’s next appearance he commands respect in Spanish Jackie’s bar, with just his name getting Jackie to pause in her actions after she’s been shown to take no shit from anyone else present in the scene. It’s an entire point of episode three Izzy is insanely frustrated by Stede because he is the first person to best Izzy at stealing hostages in a long time-which is also noted as a surprising thing by Ed. Izzy is not a powerless little guy, he is second in command on the most powerful pirate’s ship. Within the show’s context he is a picture of ideal masculinity that pirates would strive for, because in the world of OFMD there no Marvel-esque Chris Evanses. No male character with a six pack and chiseled jaw. They cast handsome Con O’Neill for a reason-who has earned the admiration for his looks and attractiveness from other cast members like Nathan Foad (Lucius) and Vico Ortiz (Jim). So yes Izzy does get more respect than someone like Lucius or Stede off the revenge, hence at least one of the reasons he's baffled by the revenge itself. And it could be a multitude of reasons Izzy bullies Lucius and Stede-maybe it is internalized homophobia, jealousy of their open flamboyancy or past wealth, or maybe he just finds them annoying in general. In the end why he does it can be debated forever, but it's clear he does do it, because he is an antagonist in season 1. 

As for Izzy’s loyalty or submissiveness to Ed-this is also contradicted by canon. Izzy disobeys Ed-multiple times. He doesn’t tell Stede “Blackbeard” wants to speak to him in episode two-and ignores Ed’s order to not duel Stede in episode six. Izzy tells Ed point blank in episode four he was honored to work for the “legendary blackbeard” which is the only reason he tolerated Ed’s changing moods-which surmises Izzy only knew Ed after he became Blackbeard, not as a long loyal childhood friend. Izzy is ready to leave the moment he thinks Ed has officially become an embarrassment and lost his mind in episode four, until Ed offers him the chance to become the new captain once he disappears after using Stede to fake his death. Which Izzy excitedly agrees to, delighted to see Ed’s ruthless side back again and not at all sad about the idea Ed will leave. Lastly, Izzy’s taunting of Ed in episode ten and calling him a ‘namby-pampy’ does not appear for the benefit of Ed’s survival, because he did not take this step when Ed was most vulnerable crying in a blanket fort. He only took this step when Ed decides he no longer wants to be Blackbeard, which means Izzy looses out a chance to have status by being associated with the most powerful pirate.

And as for Izzy’s queerness, yes there is a lot of subtext and interviews which strongly indicate Izzy is not heterosexual, but that doesn’t mean queer individuals are incapable of perpetuating homophobia themselves. Even within the Queer community there’s plenty of gate-keeping that happens amongst queers, and even if we decide Izzy himself is gay and in love with Ed in his own way, it doen’t diminish he clearly has a distinct idea of how queer men should carry themselves, with a distain for those who behave overtly classified feminine such as Lucius, or Stede (Or Ed in episode ten-hence the specific insult of “pining in a silk robe” toward him from Izzy). 

So no, Izzy is not a misunderstood, oppressed figure in the show with a secret heart of gold. He is the antagonist very much so, and painting Izzy’s behavior as softer or justified by increasing the violence of Ed or ignoring the context, is something that is not just harmful to POC fans, but to those who consume fic and internalize those stereotypes getting put forth. Whether Izzy’s harm to Ed is because he selfishly needed him to be Blackbeard, or he had an internalized bias, or maybe he really in some backwards way wanted to ‘help’ Ed-it’s not insane that some fans and especially POC fans are going to notice the dynamic of race in these interactions-and how Ed being pressured into remaining a hyper violent persona by a white man is impossible to see without some element of internalized bias in place on Izzy’s part. Izzy is the antagonist for a reason, and people are allowed to find fault and discuss the villainous elements of him, without folks acting like it is a personal attack. 

So what’s the point of all this? Am I trying to police Izzy-apologists they have to drop all their HCs and only ship canon content? Saying dark content with slash ships has no place in fandom at all? Not at all. Non-canonical ships have existed forever in fandom-so have villain/antagonist love. So has kinky, dark, and dubious content. Ship whoever you want to ship, and have whatever favorite character you want. Everyone deserves to have fun playing characters in fandom space without fear of being doxed or sent threats if they do so in a way another fan dislikes. Fandom content does have to be restricted to keeping things canonical and have the fun of canon is making AUs or putting characters in situations they'll never be in during canon. 

There’s nothing weird about liking or relating to a villain. Everyone loved Walter White during “Breaking Bad”’s hay day (hence why the show was so big) but we didn’t see a rise in folks running off and cooking meth-and even today as I see the queer community reclaiming Jessie and Walt from the show-I don’t see folks accusing them of planning to go cook meth. Izzy fans can love Izzy and see parts of themselves in him without implying they would treat Ed the way Izzy did or share every single belief Izzy has. Just like people can relate to Walt for being powerless and angry in his life-WITHOUT resorting to cooking meth and becoming  drug lords-Izzy fans can relate to Izzy from feeling overlooked at work without meaning they’re going to bully their friends into behaving a certain way. Izzy fans should not feel forced to become Izzy-apologists and well apologize for liking Izzy, or feel obligated to soften his edges. 

But Izzy-apologists should be mindful of tagging their content that especially veers into slash-and also be open to hearing if the content they’re putting in main tags or sharing amongst themselves is leaning into harmful real-world stereotypes which can perpetuate peoples’ biases. 

So with that said-I want to assert Izzy is the antagonist yes-but he’s not the Neo-Nazi from an Indiana Jones movie. Fanon Izzy has captured both sides of the Izzy debate some have forgotten what a real rabbit (the real Izzy) is like, and rewatching the show may help lift some of those lenses for folks. As of now Izzy stands at a crossroads-season 2 may push him into redemption or increase the stakes of his antagonism. 

If Izzy does end up with a redemption arc and Izzy-haters need to be prepared to trust Jenkins and his writing team, that they do not loose faith in OFMD because it doesn’t go the way they hoped. 

And with that said-I urge the Izzy-apologists the same, if Izzy doesn’t get a redemption arc and becomes worse, or is written out-it isn’t from fan pressure or a sudden 180 on the writer’s part. It’s part of David Jenkins’ vision which he’s stated he knew from the start of the story. 

So what’s the consensus, where do we go from here? Here’s my suggestion based on the observations listed above: 

Izzy-haters: Please recognize Izzy is more nuanced than you think, and even if season 2 puts him further him down his villain path, let Izzy fans exist in peace. You can block them, or mute them, or just ignore them. Unless they’re threatening folks if you can’t handle them enjoying Izzy in any capacity, you need to just let them be because it is just fiction and there are many many ways to enjoy a story or have fun with it. There are plenty of POC who like Izzy and and ALL of his fans do not deserve to be called names or accused of racism just for simply liking Izzy. Real people should not be getting over fictional character’s rights. 

Izzy-apologists: Please recognize Izzy is the antagonist for a reason, and people in good faith commenting on it is not an attack on you personally even if some Izzy-haters made you think so. Loving Izzy should not involve making the rest of characters, especially those of color, into harsher, crueler versions of themselves to make Izzy’s actions pale in comparison. If you can’t enjoy him without doing so, then please keep that especially dark content out of the main tags so people aren’t subject to racial or queer stereotypes that can be harmful. Real people should not be getting over a fictional character’s rights. 

All of us: can take things in better faith, be more patient, learn to block & mute people if we stumble into their territory and they aren’t forcing their version of things down our throats. If we really do see content we think is going to hurt other people-we should address people privately in good faith assuming it was an accident and have a discussion about it. There is no reason any person should be sent anon hate or doxed over fictional characters. And if we start feeling overwhelmed-take a step back and breathe. Remember fandom should be fun. 

And we should all remember-we shouldn’t be making sweeping generalizations about people or name-calling based on their favorite characters. 

If you read any of this about the actions of “Izzy-haters” or “Izzy-apologists” and realized you might’ve contributed to some of their more toxic actions and perhaps I’ve persuaded you to reconsider-posting an open tweet or tumblr post of peace would be a nice step forward. “Sorry I called all Izzy fans toxic moving forward I realize that was unfair I won’t do it again” or “Sorry I said anyone who dislikes Izzy is prude and unempathetic I realize that was unfair and I won’t do it again”. 

Well thanks for getting this far with me folks. I appreciate you taking the time to read this, I know it was a long one. My main goal is just that we all feel at peace to like or dislike Izzy as much we naturally do-without fear of any sort of retaliation or having our personhood labeled over it. As someone with friends on both sides-we’re honestly missing out on great times in fandom if we let our perception on one character divide us so violently or make us cruel to one another. Fandom should be fun-and if this helps even one person on either of these split fractures be a little kinder or calmer, I’ll be so cheery.

-Cheers, Frenchie’s most devoted fan.  

TL;DR

Izzy is not a raging racist bigot, but that does not mean he’s pure and free of all wrong-doing or potential bias toward some characters. 

Liking Izzy or relating to him does not mean that person BEHAVES like Izzy or would do the same things he does. 

Do not refer to Izzy fans with generalized statements or accusations stating anyone who likes him must be a certain way.

Do not refer to Other character fans with generalized statements or accusations stating anyone who likes them must be a certain way.

A person is allowed to like Izzy without having to justify his actions. 

We are allowed to disagree on how we characterize or see certain characters without making it personal.

People are allowed and it is normal to make fan content that diverges from canon.

Other characters should not be turned into racial or queer stereotypes to soften Izzy’s actions-and if that’s the only way you can enjoy him, keep it out of the main tags. 

No one should EVER be doxxed or put in danger offline over their opinions on Izzy or any fictional character. 

Learn to just mute and block people whose opinions you hate. Fandom should be fun. Real people should not be getting over fictional character’s rights.

[proneterror204]

Fear vs War 2

Fright Knight was in Gotham trying to find his target. The clown was in Arkham, so he was going for the Scarecrow. He was hoping to find him before the rogue could spread any Artificial Fear. He was going for the Scarecrow's Minions, who preferred to go by goons, hoping to scare his location from them. when mortals meet him it triggered the 'fight or flight' instinct, as he was Phobos a God of fear. But in Gotham this was only a hinderance, because everyone choose fight. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

Fright Knight: *trying to scare some info from a goon*

Orphan:...*Waves her hand to get his attention*

Fright Knight: *startled but doesent jump* Can i help you?

Orphan: *signs*

Fright Knight: I can speak all languages, but not sign language. Truly a flaw in Divinity.

Spoiler: She's asking who you are and what are you doing here?

Fright Knight: I am Fright Knight! Greek god of Fear and Right hand to the Ghost King. I am here to punish the rogue know as Scarecrow for his crimes against my domain. He is out of Arkham Yes?

Spoiler: He's in the Hospital getting a colonoscopy. Hes like 50.

Fright Knight: i also planned on giving him a colonoscopy. but very well. i suppose ill just have to go visit Wonder Woman.

Spoiler: to avenge you're Father?

Fright Knight: HA! No, i wish to thank her on her victory and introduce myself to my aunt.

Spoiler: ah Ares is a shit father huh? I know the feeling.

Fright Knight: I advise you avoid saying his name, But yes War is no kinder to children then it is anyone else. Worse even...

Orphan and Spoiler: *nods*

Spoiler: Hey i gotta say NICE purple flames.

Fright Knight: Its not really a choice. My mother is pink and my father is black. together it makes purple. I dont suppose i could convince you to keep this visit a secret from the Batman. My liege doesent want his attention and paranoia.

Spoiler: oh you absolutely could- *she stops and puts a hand to her ear and talks to someone on the comms*. Hey lets make a deal. theres a riot in Arkham asylum. you help us clean that up and Batman will never hear a word of this. Deal?

Fright Knight: Deal. now what do you have in mind?

Spoiler: *Grins evilly*

(insert any jojo theme here)

As Arkham's riot continued many Rogues, convicts, and psych patients were making a escape attempt only one vigilante stood in their way. Spoiler looking strangely buff with her face more defined and over animated(jojo style) stood alone. In front of the rioting mod she struck a pose and behind her a black and purple knight appeared. Both of them struck a pose and flexed as a aura of fear and terror washed over the mob making them flee back into Arkham and into there cells.

True to their deal Batman never heard a word of this. They used sign instead.

[writella]

The Confession

Synopsis: Confessions shared with the wrong person gone so sinfully right.

Details: rick grimes x reader, afab!reader, smut—masturbation, unprotected sex, riding, both rick and reader being desperate in the dark. I made the exact reason for the confession and occasion very vague. 18+, wc: 2.6k. Proof read, but there might be some errors.

A/N: Not sure how much I like this one, but I had this idea back in early October and I wanted to finish it and give you guys something after a whole month.

I miss you, I’m sorry. Hope you’re all well!! With love from writella. ♡

Your voice is solemn and heavy as you sigh before starting, “I don’t do this very often,” you say, “I hope this is okay.” Your eyes lowering shamefully as you stop. It’s only the first sentence and you’re finding it hard to continue. It’s almost as if there are needles piercing into your throat. “I just feel so embarrassed,” you admit.

Then you pause.

No response from him comes after.

Only silence fills the dark and hallow space of the wooden confession box. Only your thoughts, every creak you made on the built-in bench, and the light wind that rustled from the cracked door were heard.

You wait a second longer.

Hoping.

But still, nothing.

Part of you was suspecting that Gabriel would have been more inviting, telling you it’s okay; and doing so with his kind and gentle voice, but he wasn’t. He wasn’t doing anything it seemed. You only saw the silhouette of his face when you walked inside— the outline of a nose and mouth, really. He seemed to be sitting as far from the small barred window as he could, but you didn’t dare look again. You didn’t even turn on the light fixture in the corner. Your fear was all too big, and his unwavering quietness made it worse.

Maybe you had come at the wrong time, maybe you interrupted him. You almost wanted to ask. But maybe confessions happened in complete silence… you didn’t know anymore, but at this point, you were hoping so. You had already wasted five minutes and managed only one sentence. Perhaps he heard the fear in your voice and was just trying to be a good listener… yes, maybe, you pretend as you urged yourself to start again:

You breathe in sharply, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” The words come out in an uneasy, hushed whisper. “It happens a lot and I know it’s wrong. And you’re probably going to look at me differently after this, but I have to tell someone so I can stop.”

Your eyes screw shut, the next phrase coming out jumbled and continuous as you try to explain yourself quickly: “I’ve journaled about it and told myself it’s wrong but it’s not helping.” You start to weep, almost laughing at yourself, “I feel so stupid.”

You sigh and you almost think you hear him do so too, but you keep going.

“I’ve been thinking about someone,” you finally say. “For a long time. And I know it’s bad, I know it, but I do it anyway. It's all I think about.”

Another pause.

You catch your breath.

You wait.

But nothing.

So, you start again.

“I think I love him sometimes.” And if you couldn’t get any more timid, your cheeks flush, and your voice grows quieter, “I like his hair, and his eyes, those button-downs he always wears…” you smile at yourself, these were silly things, “Even his beard.”

And then you hear him shuffle, and a light sound is emitted.

It startles you, but silence ensues again thereafter. Maybe you imagined it.

“I like his kindness too. People would usually say strong or giving, but that’s what I like to tell him— that he’s kind. I think he’s kinder than other people give him credit for. He’s just protective. Everyone, and especially himself, we put a lot of pressure on him to make the hard decisions, but, really…” and there it is, “that's not the only way I think about him. There are things–” your throat tightens again– “ things that I think about. And things that I do.” Your eyes screw tight as you force yourself to say it, “I touch myself.”

Another bout of silence comes before the question.

One you’d never suspect.

“Can you describe it?��� The voice asks, dark and curious.

The cool spring air of the night turns cold, but it adds no relief to the summer heat that burns in your heart as it begins to beat painfully. The texture in his voice, the inflection at the end that lined the sentence as a request, it rings through one ear and out the other and back again in a cycle.

You knew who it was.

“What?” You shriek so lightly as if playing dumb would help you now. He knew who you were talking about, you made it so desperately obvious.

“Can you,” he repeats steadily, “describe it?”

“I… shouldn’t.”

“What other better time could there be?” You can’t tell if he truly means it. His voice remains firm and lets out no hints of his true intentions, but despite doubt, you start anyway. He’s right after all, you’re in here because there hasn’t been a better time.

“I- I start by touching up my thighs, trailing up slowly… I always get so nervous… I never do it fast because I know I shouldn’t do it while thinking about you- about him,” you correct yourself, squeezing your thighs together, your hands gripping the bench tightly.

“But you do it anyway.”

“I do,” you reply meekly.

“You can’t help yourself, can you?”

“I can't.”

“What happens when you finally reach all the way up?”

“Gotta touch myself.”

He puts his hands on his knees, making sure his voice stays leveled. “Where do you start?”

“Rubbing my clit.”

“Do it.”

And then you do. You truly can’t help it. Your fingers slide down your hips to the front of your heat, chilly fingers pressing up against your lips over your underwear.

He hears the little sigh as you finally allow your finger to reach your clit in between.

“How does it feel?”

“My fingers are cold right now, so,” a quick breathy laugh leaves you, “ good, really good.” You rub your fingers in slow circles, but your hand and hips jerk, forcing you to speed up, but you try, try to not seem so pathetic to yourself as if there was any attempt at going back now.

His voice’s a slight strain as he asks, “And what do you think about?” He starts to rub his thighs, feeling his cock stir to the side of his jeans, making the material feel tighter than it truly was. His fingers trail closer, knuckles brushing against his erection. He’s pretending like he can stop himself too. “What does he do in your head, sweetheart?”

“He watches,” you say as your movements speed up again. You really can’t help it now, his voice edges you on. Your hand goes under the band of your underwear, fingers collecting wetness below to bring up to your clit, “He’s standing at the edge of the bed,” you tell him, “he’s unbuttoning his shirt, and then he starts taking off his belt… He’s smiling.”

If only you knew that hearing how bad you wanted him was making him do the same thing on the other side.

You’re panting now, one foot comes up to the bench as you slide yourself over to press your back into the corner of the wall, your head tilting back as well, using the assistance to grind into your hand. “He thinks I’m pretty.”

“That's cause are.” He’s lowered his pants now and takes his cock out from under his boxers. Your words make his mouth gape and his eyes close as he begins to stroke himself. “You really are.”

His smile fades as he bites down on his lip lightly. You’re so needy for him and so desperate to admit it. It makes him feel powerful. Almost God-like, despite you both starring as the other’s tempter. So sweet and sinful the sounds you’re making are. How could he not give in? How could he not make you wet for him even at church and stroke his cock as it happens? You’re making it so easy with every whine and little moan you try to withhold. He could hear you getting restless, but he wants to make you want it more, “Keep goin’,” he tells you. “What’s happening now?”

“I put two fingers in,” you whine, “not big enough. Never enough.”

You let your two fingers stay inside you as you press your palm down on your pussy, rubbing your clit with the underside of your hand. You stop for a moment to take off your pants and underwear entirely, discarding it on the floor before you return to your spot. You put one leg up on the bench as you continue to finger yourself.

“I want him so bad.”

“How bad, sweetheart? What would you let him do?”

“Anything, Rick.” You say it louder than you intend, you’re losing yourself. “Anything for him.”

“Anything?”

“Everything.”

After that only nonsense comes out, simple sounds of desire and pleads. It was becoming too much to talk.

Rick felt the same. His hand on his shaft made quick and short movements, his lips parted and pink, more red on the bottom than the top from when bit his lip again at the words anything and everything for him. He repeated it in his mind, listening to your sweet little whines in the present. His head tilts so far back that it bangs on the wooden wall and he hisses.

It reminds him to compose himself.

Even after you let out another moan of his name, and he swears he could almost hear just how wet you are now, the squish of your fingers going in and out, louder and louder.

He swallows hard and takes a breath before he says, “What if I say I want you in here right now?”

That’s when your movements completely stop. You can hear the wind swirling again. You were speechless.

He turns to the netted window. You two can’t see each other but you know he’s looking. “C’mere.” He says slowly. “Now.”

And after that, your body takes control. Swift and instantaneous you move from your door to his, shutting it hard. You don’t even take a moment to look at him, it was too dark anyway, and that’s not what mattered. You’ve already dreamed of his curls, and the pierce of his blue eyes. You knew what he looked like. It’s time to know how he felt.

Rick takes off his shoes and fully lowers and discards his pants. Before he could even consider his shirt, you’re on top of him. You’re kissing his face, your lips and tongue missing his lips by just a little, but it doesn’t matter.

You begin to rock, your wet pussy making the length of his cock and thigh slick before it's even inside of you. You couldn’t help yourself and it makes him laugh, all cocky and proud. Something that you’d cross your arms to, even quip back at in any other situation but right now, it’s so fucking hot.

His hands latch onto your hips, his legs slide back to hit the wall. He raises your frame and you grab him. Your sticky fingers lace around his dick and then you both lower yourself down onto him.

You try to bottom out fast, but his nails dig into you, slowing you down. Your face reaches back with a pout and a whine as he says, “Wait,” even after he’s inside of you.

Your pussy quakes around him. You’re both trying to hold it together, but he’s faring much better than you.

His hand holds your jaw, thumbs caressing your cheeks and a tear falls from your eye, all the sensations becoming too much.

His eyes trail the sight as it rolls down and he tells you, “You’re right. I do think you’re beautiful.”

And he kisses you. Tongue slipping past your lips just as quickly as they depart, going to whisper in your ear: “Go on now,” he smiles, “show me everything.”

You begin to rock against him instantly. Initiating the kiss this time, your tongue slips into his mouth but his goes on top of yours. He grabs the back of your neck, deepening it, and you continue to take charge below as you ride him.

You squeeze around his cock tightly with every movement forward and you hear a strangled groan come out of him as his dick twitches at the sensation.

It makes you moan so loudly, you could wake somebody up.

But it doesn't matter.

You could even come right now just from feeling him inside you for the first time.

And it doesn’t matter.

“I've wanted you for so long, Rick!” You tell him.

He’s all that matters.

“You’ve got me.” He tells you breathlessly, kissing down your neck with his hand tugging on your hair. “You always could’ve.”

Now you know you’re all that matters too.

Your head tilts to the side, eyes closed, and mouth open for each pretty sigh and slight hiss that come out as he bites and kisses.

His hands lower to the hem of your shirt and he pulls it off. You start to undo the buttons on his too.

It’s fast and rushed and messy, but now your chests can meet. You press into him. Your hips are rocking hard. Your clit meets his pelvic bone making you whine and moan again. “Really good,” you say.

Rick’s hands slide to grab your ass, helping you go faster until they rise to your hips again. His thumbs press into the crevice of your hips and legs and he starts to bounce you on him.

You grip onto his arms, assisting him in his efforts. Your eyes are still closed, you’re smiling— already in a state of bliss, yet relishing in the fact that he was pushing you further and further into the dream-like feeling that was to come: your orgasm was close, and the string of airy moans made it evident to you both.

The way his hands move to caress your waist, trail up your back, roll over your arms, and back down again feels like gliding on ice. You felt him everywhere.

“Come on,” he tells you.

“I'm trying, I want to.”

“I know,” he affirms. He takes hold of your upper arms, letting his hands slide down to yours that tightly gripped his biceps and placed them on his shoulders.

You bounce yourself down on him harder, switching it up to rock on him and give your clit attention, then repeat it again.

Once you’re back to bouncing Rick takes one hand on your hip, helping you go faster while the other rubs your clit as vigorously as he can.

Your mouth is open wide, pants and squirms, and pleads coming out wildly. You almost feel like you’re making the whole box jump along with you as you bounce, and bounce, and bounce, and then… there it is: you shout his name and he speaks back to you, you both come together and ride out your high.

A glow emits as you smile, your head crashing into his as you catch your breath.

Then a noise erupts.

The church door closes.

Steps become louder and louder until they reach the open confession box door.

Rick puts his finger to your lips, silently quieting you both. Your eyes are owl wide knowing what the person in the next section would find in there. You almost squirm but Rick slots his finger into your mouth to stop it. “Quiet,” he mouths as the person next to you drops the wet garments they just touched, almost running out of the place as fast as they could.

You lower your face to his shoulder. Embarrassed, you sigh, “What are we gonna do now?”

Rick is unfazed: “Well,” he starts, picking you up by the hips, securing your legs as you wrap them around him, “we could do this one more time.”

He locks the church door and then walks you down the aisle and onto the podium, placing you gently on the ground. He’s standing above you. Just like it all your daydreams.

It was his turn now.

[madwomansapologist]

Hello!!! I was wondering if you could write headcannons of the BG3 companions and a dragon bloodline sorcerer tav? Especially their reactions to their more dragon like tendencies like hoarding things or their wings when they level up (draconic sorcerers get wings at lvl 14 table top and 11 in bg3 ) that would be great ❤️

bg3 companions with a draconic sorcerer!tav

Navigation | More Weirdos | AO3

synopsis: How would they react to their leader as a draconic sorcerer?

warnings: austim be danmed my girl can study about dragons (lae'zel).

note: that made me want to play as a draconic in the future. thanks for your request, i hope you like it!

Lae'zel

You got her attention immediately. All other races are as alien to a githyanki as themselfs are for those across Faêrun, but she knew a lot about draconics still. A interest of hers that she wasn't able of shutting down, don't matter how efficient and practical she achieved to be.

She always had a soft spot for dragons. A gith can't waste its time dreaming, but who can control it? She wanted so bad to be a dragon rider. When she learned there were races of people who descended from dragons, it was only natural she would want to learn about them.

Upon meeting you, part of her brain was just trying to analize. To learn from what type of dragon you descended. Her interest on you was purely academic.

She wondered if you had noticed how possessive you are. Lae'zel knows you're one of the most selfless people she ever met, the amount of times you lose something so someone could be safe... and still, you are so possessive.

You would kill Cazador with your bare hands and bring Astarion his head, but would never let him use one of your necklaces. Once she heard you hissing because he touched your things.

Exploring Baldur's Gate, everyone got stronger. When your wings evolved, Lae'zel seemed allured by them. So intricate and strong. Beautiful. A sign of your effort and talent. You deserved them.

"Just another proof of your strenght, zhak vo'n'ash duj. Our enemies will tremble before you. I already do."

Shadowheart

Something about you felt... familiar. Like she already knew you. Maybe she did. Or perhaps it was someone familiar. Maybe it was just the highs from being saved from a nautiloid. Still, Shadowheart couldn't help but to take a liking to you.

She never had a draconid friend, not that she remember at least, so it took her a bit to get used to the differences. It's impossible not to bring attention upon your group with your height and wide body. The teeth were certainly something she was highly aware.

Shadowheart thought it was enduring how you would always ended with the party's gold on your pockets. You say you will deal with the finances, and you really do that and do it well, but she knows mostly it's because you need to have it near you.

When your wings were strong enough, she would always find an excuse to hug you. It was so warm to feel your wings around her body. Shadowheart feels so save between your arms. So at peace.

"Before you I thought I knew what true embrace felt like. I was wrong. Thank you, my sweetest lover. For opening my eyes."

Astarion

Your size was intimidating. You could be an awful obstacle for his safety, but gladly you were kinder than Astarion could expect. You were way more than Astarion could ever expect.

After a while, it was interesting to learn more about you. So wide, and still so delicate. So scary, and yet so good. So moral, and yet so capable of violence.

For a draconic, it was a bit cliche that your go-to spells were fire ones. And he made sure to tell you that.

Once Astarion saw your wings, for some reason Astarion felt... proud. It just felt right for you to be rewarded after everything you did to them. To him. And it also made you look even more alluring.

"Another fireball, darling? Really? In this tiny room? Alright. Whatever feels right to you."

Gale

It was incrible to have another magic bender in the party! There are a few differences in styles and in the path you both want to go down, but at the end you both share the same goal.

Either as a student or as a natural vessel, the weave conects you both. It feels lovely to have someone who can see how the entire world moves because of it. To have someone to go for when doubts about new spells pop up, or that understands that he can't spend a long time in the battle field. Someone that just understands.

Gale was so curious about the limits of your body. Merely academic curiosity! He meet a few draconics before, but never he spend such a long time beside one.

It was mesmerizing to see you sleep in a nest. Not really one, but basically a nest. Everything looks so comfortable. So you. The best blankets, your favorite jewels, some gold.

Gale Dekarios is a student before all. And you quickly became his favorite subject.

"Don't they make you trip, my love? Ah, I see, your body was made for those, dare I say, beautiful pair of wings. If you ever feel the need to rest while you get used to them, just say the word."

Wyll

You weren't the first draconic Wyll befriended. Your race may be not so common in some parts of Faêrun, but he is not one to be surprised by your needs and habilities. Wyll is always ready to help you, don't matter what.

You need more space at camp, every armor needs to be wide enough to fit your wings, swords can't be tiny so your handle turns weak. Wyll is just waiting for you to need him so he may act.

The hoarding turned into a problem so quickly. Every damn thing "could be necessary". Forks? Rotten watermelons? Half-eaten apples??? And don't you try to say those are culture differences. Those are problems.

Once someone aimed at your wings during a fight. You barely were able to see the energy rays before their body burned to ashes.

"The Blade stands at your side, dear one. My duty is with your safety."

Karlach

Our girl on fire saw more dangerous things than a dragon's bloodline. Still, it was good to see a good fighter. She has the muscles, and you the brains. A perfect duo, one could say.

She thought was sweet your tendencies. How you wrap your tail around your companions that are being threatened. Or how the glow of jewels can make you break your neck just for a glance.

Karlach loves the fact you are also build bigher, just like her. It's good to not have to look down at someone, or to not break her back in a attempt to be at the same high as you.

She got so scared when your wings evolved. She didn't knew it was something that could happen to draconics that turned really strong. For a whole minute, she thought you went through some sort of body horror kinda of shit. She knows a lot about it, so it was really good to hear your explanation.

"Fucking gods, soldier! You almost lost me there. Thought my heart would fucking explode."

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

GENERAL TAGLIST: @lovelyy-moonlight

BALDUR’S GATE 3 TAGLIST: @citrusbunnies

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

[bunnwich]

A bit of controversial post maybe??? (feel free to skip)

Not to be controversial but I keep seeing how ppl are reading the “Leona is kind to Sally” situation and just thinking how my perspective is bit…different.  (if you don't care about my opinion ofc you can always skip)

SPOILERS FOR EVENT

When I saw it, these were my thoughts:

"Oh I love this so much!! It's adorable for one, and I’ve been saying for years that Leona is only mean to ppl he doesn't like/finds annoying or doesn’t care about. Like he HAS the ability, like everyone else to be polite and nice but we only see him interact with ppl who annoy him etc. Which is...um most of the cast. AND we rarely get a peak at how he would be with someone he likes.

I hope that this helps ppl see that he can be gentler to act toward someone he's SUPPOSED to like as a friend or even like romantically. 

Banter is one thing but I don’t believe he'd ever act straight-up rude to someone he was true friends with, dating or had a crush on?" 

So, a lot of ppl loved this scene I DO TOO! However…

This whole “Leona said men ain’t shit” joke is worrisome. Like…do you guys think that Leona would in fact be ruder or less gentle to a masc or nonbinary S/O vs a femme one? Some of these remarks…feel uh not really nice to those who have nonbinary/masc pairing with him.

He grew up in a matriarchal society, he respects women NO DOUBT.

I just think it would be nice to for us to be kinder in how we phrase things like this. I know they are jokes but still Yumes and ships mean a lot to ppl and I think it's just another catalyst for masc and masc-leaning fans to feel further alienated in the fandom space, yk?

Do I believe he respects women OFC, but much like those who had the “consent king” take about the voiceline of him being offended at Scully kissing the MC's hand I ONLY agree to an extent. WHY? Bc Leona is a big-ass hypocrite! Leona, for all I defend him, is not always keen on physical boundaries himself and can be quite rude. I think that line is more him being annoyed at Scully than genuinely worried for anyone's virtue, yk?

And to bring it back to the Sally/Leona thing I think it's not just bc Sally is a woman he is nice to her, bc she is SMART and cunning and was quickly underestimated by the rest of the cast. She was able take care of herself. He liked that about her. I really don't think it was just cause she was girl by itself.

Idk thats all I have to say, this is just my opinion as usual but it just didn’t sit right with me from a fandom perspective and I genuinely feel the “Leona is the feminist king of all time” is not a full reading of the character when we’ve seen him be nice to others and neutral to other women. Plus, he’s IS a hypocrite about the manners thing! The cast even call him out on it.

Leona is still flawed just like any other character in twst and I don't think him “bowing down at every women's feet” is something I subscribe to. Not in the way some ppl are acting anyways.

And frankly how some ppl are wording themselves in their tags and reblogs of these posts about Leona “drinking respect women’s juice bc he dislikes men” feels alienating toward those who have nonbinary/masc ships with him.

This is meant as no offense to anyone's fun I just thought I’d give my perspective on it. 

TLDR: I do think that it is genuinely funny and endearing to see the juxtaposition of how Leona treats everyone else VS Sally HOWEVER I don't think it is purely a gender thing and making that just doesn't sit right with me.

[thelostmagicians]

Unlucky | Lip Gallagher

Summary: Lip Gallagher has a shitty life, but he still has a chance of a happy future with you. [2.4k]

Fluff, comfort, slight angst, insecure Lip

♡

Lip Gallagher has always considered himself unlucky for as long as he could remember. If you asked him to describe his life in five words he’d use shitty, really shitty, and extremely shitty.  

He was dealt a crappy hand since the beginning not standing a fighting chance even as a kid. 

There was always so much crap to deal with, whether it was bills that needed to be paid, kids that need to be taken care of, or anything dealing with Frank and Monica, sometimes he felt as if the weight of the world was resting on his chest and the only breath he’d be able to take peacefully would be his final one. He’s grateful for all the help he has because everyone pulls their weight as much as they can, but sometimes he just wishes life was just a little bit kinder to him. He wishes that he was able to do something with his high IQ, make something of himself and finally get out of this hell hole, but that didn’t roll over so well. But just as he was slowly losing hope the universe finally took pity on him and gave him you, so now he’s hanging onto you with everything he’s got. 

_

It’s quiet in the Gallagher household when Lip shuffles out of bed. He can’t remember the last time he was able to sleep past 7am, so when he wakes up to birds chirping at 9am instead of the usual yelling and chaos, he’s surprised and even a little scared. He makes his way towards the bathroom getting ready to fight whoever is next in line, but finds it empty and even clean. He’s shuffling around, looking through doors to find a sense of life in his otherwise loud home when he hears a squeal from the backyard. He doesn’t think twice before grabbing a nearby bat and hurtling through the backdoor towards the pool, but he stops once he sees the atmosphere is anything, but fearful. Frannie is being tossed back and forth between Carl and Mickey in the pool, Fiona and Ian are chasing Liam with the garden hose and Debbie is bringing in watered down lemonade from the kitchen. 

He has no idea what caused this change of pace, but he isn’t mad about it. Just as he’s about to make himself known, he feels a soft touch caressing his back. 

“Hey baby,” you whisper, brushing your lips against his neck. 

He turns his head at your sweet voice finally fully awakening his sleepy trance. Lip tugs you towards him by the belt loops of your, too short, cut off shorts and breathes into your neck. Hands slowly creeping down towards your ass to grab and pet, not socially acceptable in front of family, but he couldn’t care less. 

“Hi, sweetheart,” he rasps into the valley of your chest, slightly picking you up to hug you closer. “What’s going on out here?”

“Thought everyone could use a day off especially in this heat, so Debs and I planned a pool party. Wanna join me?”

He pulls back on slightly to finally get a look at your face, your eyes are kind and happy followed by a mischievous smile. 

“Sure, let me get my trunks on and I’ll be down soon.” You reward him with a soft peck on his chapped lips and an arm squeeze before moving out of his hold and grabbing some leftover toast. 

The day goes by without a hitch. Everyone enjoys the much deserved break filled with laughter, junk food, and only a few fights. You’re nearly on top of Lip as you cuddle as close as you can basking in the happiness before you get ready to go out. There are only a handful of days that you and Lip both get off at the same time, so any day given is taken as a golden opportunity to spend some time together, leaving your worries at home. You plant a small peck to Lip’s cheek before untangling yourself from his hold as he answers the ringing phone. 

You don’t hear much of the conversation, just faint hmms of acknowledgement as you're flying past rooms trying to get ready as fast as you can. You’re struggling with your heels as Lip comes over and steadies you, your smile meeting with his frown.

“Sweetheart, they called me in to cover someone else’s shift and you know I hate to do this, but they’re offering me time and half..” he trails off.

A quick look of disappointment flashes on your face, before you cover it up with a reassuring look. You’re disappointed, sure, but not at Lip. Never at Lip. Just the shitty circumstances that forces the both of you to work as much as you can just to make ends meet.  

“It’s okay, I get it. We can always reschedule, don’t worry about it.” You pull him in and hold on to his waist hoping to ease his guilt, but your efforts go to waste as his eyebrows stay furrowed and his frown deepens. 

“I’ll make it up to you, I swear it,” Lip murmurs against your lips before squeezing your arm and letting you go. 

You watch him leave, slowly pulling off your heels and plopping yourself on the old couch, sighing already missing Lip. Your eyes shift trying to think of things to do now that your night opened up, but your mind keeps drifting back to Lip. You had eaten dinner earlier with everyone, skipping out on dessert and opting to get your fill when you go out, but now that plans have changed you were now missing both your boyfriend and something sweet to nibble on.

You quickly change out of your clothes and put on a pair of old shorts before deciding to make a batch of brownies. Lip works hard and if you guys couldn’t go out for dessert tonight, then you were going to bring dessert to him. 

He’s halfway through his shift when he spots you coming in, hands holding a tupperware to your chest. 

“Honey, what are you doing down here,” he shouts from across the room.

“Wanted to spend some time with you before I leave for my shift. I made some brownies since we missed dessert, care to join me?” you plead hopefully.

Lip’s heart aches with love and a lot of guilt. He can’t believe you would go through all that trouble just to see him. He calls out to say he’s taking his break before leading you to a secluded corner. 

“I’m really sorry about today,” he hugs you from behind swaying back and forth, mouth opening occasionally as you feed him a chunk of the sweet treat. 

You squeeze his wrist in response, “s’lright you can’t help it. I just like spending time with you.”

He smiles softly for the first time that night, stress immediately leaving his body. “Though, I love that you did all this for me, I don’t love the idea that you were walking alone this late at night.”

“Guess I’ll have to keep you company until you can walk me home then,” you compromise. 

Lip’s shift goes by somewhat fast now that you’re here to keep him company. He’ll leave his station sporadically to check up on you and to keep you from falling asleep. He’s in the final stretch now, only 30 more minutes before you get to go home and fall asleep holding each other, after a long day. He looks over hoping to catch your eye and send you a smile when he feels his face slowly morphing into a glare. A glare aimed at the guy standing way too close to you, a guy whose intentions go beyond a friendly conversation, and a guy who on paper was everything you deserved, but Lip couldn’t be. 

You finally glance at Lip sending a small wave and smile as you keep nodding along to the fucker next to you. He had fluffy brown hair and honestly looked quite plain if it wasn’t for the gleaming rolex on his wrist and the shiny Gucci emblem on his belt. He was a rich kid, probably from the nearby university, wasting away mommy and daddy’s money, chatting up pretty girls and sweeping them off their feet with his money. Lip’s never felt insecure about your relationship, you never gave him a reason too, but once he compares his ratty jeans and stained shirt to the pristine polo of Richie Rich he can’t help but wonder if he’s good enough for you when you can do so much better.

_

Lip was struggling. He never learned how to tie a tie before and now that the time has come, he’s racking his brain trying to get the knot perfect. He knew you couldn’t care less about a stupid tie, you were anything but superficial, but since that dreaded night when he witnessed you being chatted up by Richie Rich, Lip’s come to the conclusion that he was going to try his hardest to give you the perfect life. 

When Lip proposed going up to the north side for dinner, you were shocked. You’ve been there a few times mostly on walks or running errands, but you’ve never been there to spend actual money considering neither of you could afford it. The most you and Lip would do is windowshop and daydream about the things you would buy if you had the money, before being chased off by the glaring sales people.

He picks you up at your door, pecking your cheek softly and telling you how beautiful you look. He takes your hand and leads you to the borrowed car before pulling out an expensive bouquet from the backseat. Your hands flatter as you mutter a quiet thanks. You’re a little confused at the grand gesture since Lip’s never gotten you flowers before, at least not without reason. He’s gotten you flowers exactly four times since he’s known you: the first on your first date, the second for your graduation, and the last two times for your anniversary. And all those times the flowers were below 5 bucks, something he picked up from the corner store. But the bouquet he gave you now had to be worth at least a day’s salary, you and Lip had a mutual understanding since the start that since money was scarce you wouldn’t spend it on materialistic things for each other, but lately it seems like he forgot that promise. He’s been taking you out to eat nearly everyday, always putting money down and never letting you pay, surprising you with little gifts, but worst of all he’s been running himself haggard, taking up as many shifts as he possibly could. 

He notices your quiet demeanor as he starts driving, “You okay, baby?”

“Yeah, I just…” you hesitate, not wanting to offend him. “I’m grateful for all of this Lip, really I am, I love everything you’ve gotten me, but I’m confused about where you’re getting all the money from and why you’re doing all this in the first place.”

Lip tightens his grip on the wheel, “Isn’t this what you want? Isn’t this what all girls want?” Lip scoffs the memory of Richie Rich slowly coming into picture. 

“I don’t understand what changed, everything was fine before, why are you spending money you don’t have? You don’t think I know that you’re working yourself to death trying to afford this shit?” Your voice raises in annoyance. 

“Yeah, well that’s my problem, it’s none of your concern how I get all this as long as you get it.”

“It is when you’re burning money on materials that won’t even last the year instead of investing in our future.”

Lip pulls to stop as the words leave your mouth. “Our future?” He asks. 

You lick your lips, trying to think of a way to backtrack but his eyes plead with you to tell the truth. “Yeah, our future. You know when we eventually move out, get a place of our own and have a kid or two?”

Lip smiles at the thought, “You want all that with me?”

You nod incredulously, “What did you think this was you idiot? That we were just playing boyfriend/girlfriend? Look I appreciate all these gestures, but the way I see it you’re burning 50 bucks on flowers that are gonna wither in a week instead of spending that money on something like our future house.”

Lip cups your chin in endearment before pulling you in for a quick kiss. “I’m sorry, I let everything get away from me.” He huffs in frustration before letting your chin go and clenching his fists. “It’s just when you visited me at work a few weeks back you were talking to this guy. This very rich guy who… I don’t know… I know you aren’t like that, but I couldn’t help but think this is all I’ll be able to offer you, at least right now. I will never be able to whisk you away on a private jet or buy diamonds just cause.”

You giggle as you hold his face in your soft hands, his head tilting to lean into your palm. “Lip Gallager, for someone with an insanely high IQ, you are so incredibly stupid, ” He huffs out a laugh in embarrassment as you continue, “That guy, that fool was annoying as fuck. I was just trying to get him off my back. And not to mention incredibly fucking stupid. Everything that was coming out of his mouth made me cringe and thank the stars that you’re nothing like him.”

He kisses your palm before pulling you into another kiss. “Can we skip the fancy restaurant now?” you ask as he presses kisses to your pouty lips. 

“Where do you wanna go instead?”

“Family dinner, and then out for ice cream?” you suggest. He nods before putting the car back in drive. 

_

Lip Gallagher was all sorts of fucked up. But somehow in his fucked up life, he managed to find you, his light at the end of a dark, narrow, and gloomy tunnel and he thinks, maybe, he isn’t so unlucky after all.

[zionworkzs]

Alright, lets talk about Aziraphale protecting Gabriel. More specifically why and what it tells us about our favorite angel.

First off, I like musing about why Gabriel came to Aziraphale in the first place. He says he was looking for Beelzebub and "got lost." I think, and I'm sure someone has mentioned this before, but I think Gabriel on some level knew Aziraphale's infatuation with Crowley and thought, if anyone will understand my predicament (read: being in love with a demon), it's Aziraphale.

And that's really sweet, but for me, the interesting thing is WHY Aziraphale helps him, and why he seems so willing to help so soon, with virtually no information.

Why?

Is it some of that Heavenly loyalty? Maybe. I kind of doubt it since Gabriel tried to kill what he thought was Aziraphale at their last encounter. And Aziraphale knows this, even if Crowley never told him directly what went on in Heaven.

So why? He loves the mystery? Sure, later in the season he enters his Detective Era(tm) for all of one episode, but his initial thought isn't to solve what happened, it's to protect Gabriel.

Does he feel bad for Gabriel? Probably, a little. But again, Gabriel is technically an enemy at this point. And would Aziraphale really risk the life that he built for himself (and Crowley) for this amnesiac archangel because he felt bad for him? Honestly, probably, yeah. But there's more to it than that.

Even when faced with danger. Danger for himself, Crowley, and all their human guests, he still protects Gabriel.

WHY?

Because fundamentally, he believes that everyone can be redeemed. And not even in a Heaven-can-save-your-soul kind of way either. In a distinctly human way. He's seen 6,000 years of human history. He's seen humans be unbelievably cruel and also heart-warmingly kind. He's seen his own demon (supposedly unlovable, cruel, evil) be kinder than all of Heaven's angels combined. But the interesting thing about that is that Crowley is kind in the way humans are kind. And Aziraphale believes in human kind.

He sees the good in people, even if it's buried so far down they may not even recognize it. And there's something inside him that longs to bring that goodness out in others.

And I think this hits on a main facet of his personality which is Hope. Because if people can change, and people can be good, there is hope.

Makes me think of this post:

[fumifooms]

"Marchil? I guess I can see it on Chilchuck’s end, but what about Marcille’s? What makes you think she could develop feelings for him?" I’m glad you asked!

The first thing to note is that she does think highly of him

In the page on the right, literally defending his virtues and literally comparing him to Dalclan. And oh…

She does love a brooding mysterious guy who closes himself to love. But surely, Chilchuck isn’t her type at all, right? He’s not princely or knightly at all. In apperances certainly not, both looks wise and demeanor wise, but then that’s why she seeks to know him on a deeper level, to not only look shallowly.

And hmm. Chilchuck really is quite selfless isn’t he? Always looking out for others, and saving specifically her often, always making sure himself and, staying in or even running towards danger for her sometimes. Modesty is often considered heroic…

And can we talk about that drowning one… You can definitely frame the special attention as him knowing she tends to hesitate or be clumsy, and then his insistance on pulling her out of danger that she’s the healer aka the most important to keep alive, but. From the one who says that he just keeps his ass out of fights and won’t help this is a lot of risk to take, and he does die trying to pull her to safety in the dungeon rabbits chapter. And the drowning bit??? That’s when the dungeon collapses. The only reason they DON’T die of drowning here is that the water then gives way to outside. There was NO hope of pulling her to safety here and resurrections would likely not work either, he truly preferred to die with her than try to survive himself.

Sit your ass back DOWN you are in no state, self-sacrifical hero much damn

And Marcille definitely noticed this imo, after all she loves learning all she can about him, remembering things like how he hates waiting on people too. She pays attention to him and what he does and what he says. This to say that it’s notable, whatever reason for it you may think (though we know by this point at least she was already aware he was an adult though it wasn’t internalized), out of everyone it’s Chilchuck’s bed that she wants to sleep in during the Golden Kingdom stay. He’s safe and comforting to her: dependable, the defining trait in her view of him as is shown by the relationship chart in the Adventurer’s Bible.

^ Lending handkerchiefs is a romance trope btw and handkerchiefs have irl history of being used for courting. Especially in old English literature and plays like Shakespeare’s Othello, and personally I do see a lot of Shakespeare in Dalclan (nobility political drama with some romance). There’s how his cowl is a dearly beloved souvenir from his family too, there’s a lot of aesthetic tropes you can apply to him.

All this to say you can 100% romanticize Chilchuck into a princely noble guy if you try and that’s exactly what Marcille does with the wife roleplay. She doesn’t need much in the first place, she latches onto crumbs and makes aesthetic narratives out of details, give her an inch she’ll take a mile.

But what’s interesting about the shift throughout the arc of her and his relationship is that she starts out idealizing him into a little angel of a kid (shapeshifter), and she ends it idealizing him as a virtuous husband and family man instead.

And what’s doubly interesting is that in the former, she’s actively warping who he is personality and demeanor wise to fit the aesthetic, he doesn’t have that bitter pride of not asking for help and the edges have been smoothened. But what she does during the wife roleplay is something else, she acknowledges the flaws and just… Accepts them, rolls with them. She’s aware of his flaws and implements them into the narrative, but the reason why his wife left doesn’t capitalize on them even, rather Chil is chilblivious and his wife loves him very much still, she’s just testing him after having had a night of feeling out of place at his side.

And this is what separates the idealization vs romanticization, she’s not twisting him into someone else she’s just uplifting what he is and focusing on the good sides.

Marcille: "he has a shitty personality sometimes but if he was my husband I’d still cherish him" "If I were your wife I’d be overjoyed to go out with you and would get myself prettied up while you complain about me taking a long time, your friends would tell me that I’m nice and that’d make me happy, but I’d also be sad because you wouldn’t tell me that you love me enough"

He’s angry and his wife left him, he’s *flawed*, but he’s still worth hyping up, still worth having his own romance story, still has a shot of winning back his beloved. She sees him for what he is, human and real and not a carefully scripted character that fits an aesthetic, and she thinks it’s still worthy of love and admiration and fighting for

And what’s funny too is that you might expect her to cool down on him once she learns more about him but actually she only gets increasingly into his business. You tell her your age and next thing you know you promise to introduce her to your family. Give her an inch she takes a mile. And too the thing is, Senshi is equally mysterious but she doesn’t pester him like at all, asks him ONCE about his succubus and he doesn’t even answer and that’s like… It. With Chilchuck it starts off innocently enough with her wanting to know his age, hometown, the stuff she mentions having asked pre-canon. But it just keeps and keeps going and escalating. Think she’ll be satisfied now knowing you have a wife and kids, maybe she’s disillusioned now? Wrong! She wants to know their names and ages and occupations and hey how did you propose to your wife? Do you think she’ll stop after meeting them? What’s next? What will she want to know next????

She’s… Like it’s not a reach that Marcille is all over him. Like it doesn’t mean it’s romantic but she just is. She is not normal about him idk. Can you not ask him about what tongue technique he used when first kissing his wife, give the man breathing room

Marcille could literally go "if I was Chilchuck’s wife" having deeply pondered and thought out the hypothetical and people would still ask where anyone sees any romantic potential between them. Oh wait

There’s a platonic explanation for everything (almost?) in Dungeon Meshi don’t say I’m saying otherwise, but it’s definitely not like there’s nothing here to read into lol

Going off a bit more under read bc it’s my fave topic

Marcille has a whole theme with the charming prince trope with her idealization and storybook motif and Chil is kinda the "Well someone perfect like that isn’t very realistic and romance is usually more complex and that’s ok and good and flawed people can still be ✨virtuous✨" catalyst

Do you see do you see she starts canon thinking the most romantic thing is a prince charming but her arc in the end has her romanticizing an average, flawed, real and realistic family man, who’s on the poorer side and is on the verge of divorce. And that’s what he needed, too, seeing the positive of himself and the situation instead of focusing on the negative is explicitly what inspires him to hope that he might be able to reconcile with his wife, gives him the courage and self-esteem to shoot his shot.

He IS a prince figure instead that now it’s not about idealizing the grand and overt it’s about romanticizing the small things in real life!! About finding joy and beauty in things that seem normal or mundane and uplifting them to make the world feel kinder!!!!

He’s the devoted virtuous man that she wantsss not the storybook prince that’s unrealistic and could crumble like a script at any time. He’s the perfect example of a flawed realistic but virtuous & devoted & loving man. Far from a prince charming, but not fully detached from it either. Something worth fighting for despite the flawed cracks. Like literally, flawed romance being worth fighting for is literally the finale of Chilchuck and Marcille’s arc on the matter, where their separate arcs and issues intersect at the most crucial moment.

Marcille is important to Chil’s arc not only because of her optimism, but also because of her interest and knowledge in romance & matters of the heart, and that’s what he needs to both open his heart up to hope and to try to reconcile with his wife, like idk sounds gay

Their arc together is literally learning to 1) see each other for how they are and not undermining their qualities capacities etc etc while still not leaving flaws unchecked either and 2) opening up to people. Marcille LITERALLY makes Chil open his heart up to hope like idk man. What do you want from me. He’s literally the guy helping her through deconstructing novels and fantasy and rose tinted glasses and like. Deconstructing the prince charming figure into something more real but still romantically beautiful like KUI KUI STOOOOP STOP I’M ALREADY HOOKED I’M ALREADY-

 Ok fine that’s me reading into the tropes too much forgive me for being storybook brained but like. Speaking his heart out to a lone woman on a balcony, Romeo and Juliette shit, asking if she, too, doesn’t want to meet his family, madly blushing. And like she’s learned with Chilchuck it’s all in the little things, all the implications he cannot speak aloud. She does reciprocate, does blush madly back, and the first thing she does is shower him in flowers and jewelry and what in her heart is coded as romantic gifts

A lady, stashed away in a high tower by her lonesome, waiting for someone to call out to her from below… Romeo courting type shit with an offer, a heartfelt spiel, implicit confession from underneath her balcony. Offering him flowers because he succeeded in calling out to her heart…….. And they have to climb to her too…. Crazy

Doesn’t it sound like a proposal. One that’s both so storybook-like and not, contrastedly real and grounded, all about the implications rather than in your face grand gestures, "Don’t you want to meet my family?". They literally have an arc about the topic of romance and this is the climax/pinnacle of it like god?? This is @ the woman who said "Chilchuck is a shy/bashful man so I know he wouldn’t tell me he loves me, but…" btw

To quote a friend, truly the shiny secret unlockable dating sim capture target : THE DUNGEON LORD BIT WAS SO FUNNY BECAUSE HE KNEW SHE'D TAKE IT HOOK LINE AND SINKER HES THE ONE WHO GOT HER TO TURN AROUND COMPLETELY SHES LIKE. WIDE EYED FLAG RAISED???? FLAG RAISED WITH CHILCHUCK 👀👀👀‼️👀👀‼️👀

And the way that this is the culmination of their arc together… Like people are not ready for the ‘Chil calling out to dunlord Marcille on the balcony has Romeo and Juliette romance novels imagery’ take. Or the ‘their arc is about growing to see beauty even in the non-idealized, in the flawed and in the real’ take which makes it so so perfect if she were to lower her ideal from a charming elven prince to a virtuous halfling man (which she does end up romanticizing)

So there, you got to witness in real time what happens when I think about marchil for longer than 2 minutes, there are so many layers it’s a deranged rabbithole. I saw the necronomicon of subtext and it’s driving me to madness with forbidden knowledge that no one else sees

……. Like what if I told you she implicitly picked Chilchuck over a "unrealistic prince charming who’s actually disingenuous" much earlier in the story already. If she was given the choice to think through going with a guy that seems perfect and chivalrous like her succubus she’d pick Chilchuck over the other actually. If I sound insane rn tune in for my full analysis on them coming this month hopefully thank youu. Interwoven arcs of fantasy vs reality and idealization vs pessimism I love youuu

So now you know the general thesis of my planned analysis about the importance of the prince charming figure in Marcille and Chilchuck’s arc, where she romanticizes things to a sometimes worrying degree or idealize people into something easy and digestible and poetic (like Chil being a kid, and then him being a virtuous ✨✨✨husband), and how she needs to value aesthetics less and actual acts and facts more, be more grounded (like seeing people for what they are flaws and all, and accepting that people need money and not pulling through on principles of honor or unity shouldn’t get Namari shamed) and a part of that is accepting that Chilchuck is BOTH flawed and virtuous, a loving husband that still has shitty moods and fumbled his marriage so bad etc etc. So it’s like, her image of perfect prince charming that will whisk you away on an ethereal romance -> realistic flawed middle aged dad with personality issues and a failing marriage but he still is worthy of love and having his cute grand romance story and his happy ending. Ik I keep repeating the same point through this but I need it to be burned into everyone’s brains it has its grip on me I can’t do this. They are so special……

[cheeekycharchar]

The Forbidden Fruit, Choices and Fear

[A GOOD OMENS META ANALYSIS OF AZIRAPHALE POST S2] I know everyone is still upset about that gut punch of an ending to GO S2.. and many are also extra upset at Aziraphale.. I'm in so much pain over it too but.. I have to rationalize that damned "I forgive you" line that broke all our hearts to comfort me until we get S3.. I basically overanalyze our favorite cocoa loving Angel to explain his reaction to the kiss and why we all need to be a lil kinder to him.

2500 BC in the Land of Uz.. Aziraphale, the Angel of the Eastern Gate, had the fear of God put into him. And this affected the rest of his immortal life up until that kiss.

Angels, after the Fall and the great war between Heaven and Hell, had the fear of the Almighty's wrath put into them. They all fell in line and stayed in line. Or else they'd end up like their fallen brethren.. or worse. But there was one lil Angel that had since toed that line..

"Didn't you have a flaming sword? Yeah, it was flaming like anything." "…Gaveitaway.." "You what?" "I gave it away!" As far as we've seen, this is the first time Aziraphale did something "bad". And he's already feeling the pressure. The guilt. The fear. He didn't follow the rules. He didn't do exactly as he was told. And suddenly, here's a Demon slithering up next to him and making him doubt his choice even more. The same Demon that snuck past the guardians of Eden and tempted the first human's into eating the apple, breaking the rules and getting them kicked out of paradise on Earth.

"Bit of an over reaction if you ask me. First offence and everything. I can't see what's so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil anyway. "Well, it must be bad.. [..] Otherwise.. you wouldn't have tempted them into it." "Not very subtle of the Almighty, though. Fruit tree in the middle of a garden with a 'Don't Touch' sign. Makes you wonder what God's really planning." "Best not to speculate. It's all part of the Great Plan. It's not for us to understand. It's ineffable. It is beyond understand and incapable of being put into words."

Already the seeds of doubt are tinkering in his mind. Stay in line. No more questioning the Almighty's plans. That's what got all the bad Angels thrown out of Heaven and then Adam and Eve exiled too.

"I do hope I didn't do the wrong thing." "Oh, you're an angel. I don't think you can do the wrong thing." "Oh, thank you. It's been bothering me." "I've been worrying, too. What if I did the right thing with the whole 'eat the apple' business? A demon can get into a lot of trouble for doing the right thing. It'd be funny if we both got it wrong, eh? If I did the good thing and you did the bad one." *chuckles* "..No. It wouldn't be funny at all!"

And then we get to season two's opening reveal. Crowley and Aziraphale had actually met before the wall of Eden.

"But that's idiocy!" {…} "It's not our job to advise the Almighty on the details of creation." "Well, then whose job is it?" {…} "Well, if I was the one running it all, I'd like it if someone asked questions. Fresh point of view."

And thanks to Aziraphale mentioning the Great Plan to Angel Crowley.. it put seeds of doubt into his mind. Making him question the Almighty's plans.

".. I'd hate to see you getting into any trouble." "Thanks for your help. And thanks for your advice. I wouldn't worry though. How much trouble can I get into just for asking a few questions?"

And then 10 million Angels fell. Kicked out of Heaven and marked as evil, unforgivable, and without God's love for eternity. Then we get the flashback to the story of a a prosperous man of outstanding piety named Job and how his life was destroyed because of a bet between God and Satan to test his faith even in adversity.

"What did he [Job] do? "Job? Nothing. Job's the nicest man in the world. That's why he's so perfect for the bet. You see, God was saying how righteous Job was and how much Job loved God. And Satan pointed out-- that maybe that was just 'cause God's been so nice to him. ..God's letting Satan destroy everything Job has. And then we'll see."

Now remember, the great flood wasn't too long ago. Where the Almighty wiped out nearly all of the human race with a big storm cause they were tetchy aka simply irritable, bad-tempered and annoyed. So this time, Aziraphale actually questions Heaven about this bet when he finds out that Job's children will be killed.

"Trust in God's plan, Aziraphale. Always." "Of course. So, once Job's trials are over, everything is restored to him?" "Even better than that. God will reward him with twice as much as he had before." {…} "I think they quite like the old ones [Job's children].. And if.. we kill them-" "-Aziraphale… we are the good guys. We're not killing anyone. What we are doing is simply not stopping hell. What they do is up to them."

His faith is wavering. He can hardly believe that Heaven would actually destroy a good man's family without truly understanding the fragility and consequences of human life/death; all to test him on a bet.

"Are we sure that Sitis wants to give birth four more times?"

Furthermore, they would be forcing Job's wife to give birth 7 more times despite Aziraphale's warning of them loving their original 3 children and that Sitis may not actually want to give birth to more children at her age. Hence taking away her choice. But thankfully, good ol' Crowley is the worst demon ever and is secretly protecting Job's children and goats. Something they're keeping between the two of them. And then during this deception… Crowley tempts Aziraphale with his first bite of food.

"Have an ox rib." "Are you trying to tempt me?" "Not at all. Angels can't be tempted, can you?" "Certainly not." "Well, there you are then. You're free to try the food."

A temptation he quickly falls into. A choice to eat the food and enjoy it to gluttony. Another sin under his belt. In the end, Virtuous Job passed his test but had the shit reward in return. Except Crowley and Aziraphale secretly saved the children.. which lead to Aziraphale lying straight to Heaven.. again.

And this is where he finally falls apart.

"I'm ready to go." "Go where?" "To Hell." {….} "But you have to. I'm like you now.. A demon.." "You think you're a demon?" "I'm a fallen angel! I lied.. To thwart the will of God." "Well yeah, you did, but I'm not gonna tell anybody. ..Are you?" *shakes head no* "No. Then nothing has to change, does it?" "…But what am I?" "You're just an angel who goes along with Heaven as far as he can." "That sounds um.." "Lonely?" "Yeah. But you said it wasn't." "I'm a demon. I lied."

As Crowley always tells him- Demons lie. And Aziraphale lied. Again. And now they're keeping this huge secret between the two of them. To never be spoken of or else possibly face the wrath of God. THIS scene right in this minisode here is SUCH an important part of Aziraphale's character and his future choices. And that's what it's all about, isn't it? Choices? The ability to choose between good and evil.

"Look, I am good. You, I'm afraid, are evil. But people get a choice. You know, they cannot be truly holy unless they also get the opportunity to be wicked." "Yeah, that only works if you start everyone off equal. You can't start someone off like that and expect her to do as well as someone born in a castle." "Ah, but no, no. That's the good bit. The lower you start, the more opportunities you have."

What we learn from this wee Scottish body snatching story is that something can be seen as evil but could actually be a good deed from a different perspective. And that Aziraphale truly believed that the lower you start, the more opportunities you could have. But he also believes in divine punishment. Punishment that can be dealt at any time for any thing. Big or small. From a few questions that make you lose God's love to selling corpses for survival money and accidentally getting your best friend killed or just having too much faith in God could destroy everything in your life for a bet. All of which he has witnessed with someone good (Crowley, Job, Elspeth, etc) losing everything that's important to them in the most horribly way. But Aziraphale remembers the hard lessons he learned; of inequality and responsibility of your actions and the choices you make.

Someone born into poverty doesn't get as much out of life as someone born into a rich lifestyle. Or.. a lowly snake and a lowly principality falling in love and being forgiven may not be as easily dismissed as a Duke of Hell and Archangel finding love in one another and simply being allowed to run away to the stars together without any punishment. It's all of these moments, these lessons that Aziraphale learns throughout the years that change his view on life but he still remembers the wrath of God throughout existence. Something as little as a question could get you kicked out of Heaven, eating an apple could get you banished from paradise or you could be the most faithful perfect and loved person and still have your entire life destroyed over a bet. What does he know most about the Almighty? They're "tetchy" and unpredictable.

"Aziraphale, Angel of the Eastern Gate. Where is the flaming sword I gave you, Aziraphale, to guard the Gate of Eden?"

He then conceals the truth to God themselves of the choice he made to give humanity a fighting chance of survival by giving his holy sword away. And is left alone without another word. Forced to walk on egg shells for the rest of his existence out of fear.

"So, giving the mortals a flaming sword. How did that work out for you?" "The Almighty has never actually mentioned it again.." "Probably a good thing."

That fear of the unknown consequences to his past actions.. his lies.. for good or for bad.. he could fall at any moment or lose everything he holds precious (aka his Angel-ness and Crowley).

"I'm not an idiot, Crowley. Do you know what trouble I'd be in if.. if they knew I'd been fraternizing? It's completely out of the question." "Fraternizing?!" "Well, whatever you wish to call it. I do not think there is any point in discussing it further."

So what does he always do? Deflects.. to protect himself. To protect Crowley. Not saying the real truth out loud. Keeping the reality of their relationship an unsaid secret like always.

But sometimes, actions speak louder than words.

"Should I say thank you?" "Better not."

Yet again, he breaks the rules. Doesn't even want to hear a thank you. Again, it must all go unsaid.

"You go too fast for me."

Crowley has always been one step ahead of him. Asking questions, falling, breaking the rules, etc. Aziraphale isn't ready yet. He's not ready to lose everything he holds dear to him by admitting out loud all of his sinful choices or else face the punishment he's been fearing for thousands of years.

"Go off together?" "How long have we been friends? Six thousand years."

Aziraphale starts panicking here. Crowley is saying too much out loud. Deny deny deny.

"Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon. We have nothing whatsoever in common. I don't even like you."

This bandstand breakup was literally Aziraphale freaking out about doing too many bad things dealing with the whole anti-Christ situation and Crowley getting too close to saying what they truly are to each other. But the fear is too much and he lies again. But this time to himself. Aziraphale has only ever wanted to do the good thing. To make the correct choices. To be on the right side. But he's always faltered. Made choices that he was sure were the bad ones. Lied on occasion. Kept secrets from Heaven and God. Given into temptations. And has always had this fear of God's Almighty wrath hanging over his head for millennia. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop. At any moment, everything will be taken away. But what could be the last straw? The straw that finally breaks the camel's back? To garner God's attention and punishment. It has to be something big. The biggest and most important part of his life. Something that matters to him more than anything in the world. His relationship with the Demon, Crowley. But he's learned. If you don't say it out loud.. if you keep it to yourself. Then you won't be punished. It's worked out for him so far. So why should he think otherwise? And then in the end of S2E6, Metatron gives him the opportunity to make a change to the Heavenly system. His chance to restore his best friend to his former holy glory. A chance to relieve all the suffering he's seen throughout history. A chance to make a difference. Despite all his secret sins, he's being given an unbelievable opportunity- one that proves that maybe he isn't as bad as he always thought he was. He's actually seen as worthy. But then Crowley gets angry about all this. He's against it all. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want to be an Angel again. He doesn't want to return to Heaven. He just wants to be with Aziraphale. And he finally says their best kept, unsaid secret out loud. With a love confession and a passionate kiss.

"You idiot. We could have been… us."

Aziraphale wants this more than anything but every instinct inside of him is screaming to stop it, to not let anyone see, to not let anyone know the truth. This final temptation. His one and true forbidden fruit that is the Demon Crowley.. and it's the one he knows he must resist at all costs.

The fear is overpowering. And the only words that come from his lips…

"I forgive you."

I forgive you for letting our unsaid secret out. I forgive you for trying to tempt me. I forgive you for refusing to join me in Heaven as a renewed Angel. But can he ever truly forgive himself for the choice he just made? Remember, in the end, Aziraphale is just afraid. Afraid to lose everything. Afraid to lose Crowley. Fear of punishment can be traumatizing after all. And it will all be fixed in S3. ;) HAVE FAITH IN GAIMAN!

..Sorry this was so long and drawn out but… I NEED SEASON 3 ALREADY.. (everyone! keep re-watching GO2 on Prime! and no more threats to the creators plz ^-^) Honestly, this was very cathartic to write and help me come to terms with the most heart wrenching painful TV kiss of all time D: But I need to see how their story unfolds. I need to see Aziraphale allow himself to make the choice to be with Crowley without fear of punishment. I NEED MY INEFFIBLE HUSBANDS. TOGETHER. T^T

PS. Literally as I was finishing writing this, I saw Neil Gaiman himself say this on his Tumblr, "But the story of Job is pretty central to the whole Good Omens conversation, including Aziraphale's bit of it." OMG I KNEW IT lololol

[s1utlvr]

Chemtrails Over the Country Club ﹏

Luke Castellan X fem!aphrodite reader

In which Luke comes to recruit you.

a/n: Honestly this fic is so unserious and unhinged 😭😭 also listen. Idk how this got so long but it did. Also don’t know how this got so angsty but it did. Anyways takes place during sea of monsters just some heated making out and arguing mentions of bullying kinda Luke being well Luke. This was supposed to be inspired by I can see you by Taylor swift but then it got really long and angsty so here’s a little playlist of all the songs that inspired this. (Listen in order or don’t idc) Not proofread yeah that’s it lmk if I missed something.

Reflections- The Neighborhood

Chemtails Over the Country Club -Lana Del Rey

Money power Glory- Lana Del Rey

I Can See You - Taylor swift

Listening time- 17 mins

Word Count- 4.9k

~~~~𖠳~~~~~~~~𖠳~~~~~~~~𖠳~~~~~𖠳~~~~~~~~𖠳~~~~~~~

There was no one at camp who hadn’t heard the story of the night Percy Jackson returned.

It was a night of triumph as the son of Poseidon had saved Olympus and prevented war, until Luke castellan outed himself as the lighting thief and disappear.

And just like triumph came it diminished and once more there was talk of war.

But between all of this there was just something you couldn’t wrap your head around.

After the summer solstice most people left feeling frazzled, those like you who stayed for the remainder of the term continued picking sides preparing for the war that was said to come just like before Percy had returned.

Just like all the other cabins yours had come to a consensus as well, despite the fact your mother was a war goddess most were against a war out of hatred and spite for the gods and while you agreed part of you couldn’t help but feel…different.

Sure you were against a war breaking out any sane person would be, but part of you couldn’t help but sympathize with Luke.

See for a while you were your mother’s pride and joy, the epitome of what it meant to be Aphrodites daughter. You were charming, sweet, and had a beauty that could only come from the goddess of love and beauty herself and you lived for for the love and attention of your peers and your mother til you realized that was all you had to offer, and once someone sweeter, kinder, prettier came along you were left with nothing.

Your mother gave you everything, and then she took it all away.

It was humiliating being the “dumb Aphrodite kid” constantly being ridiculed for being shallow and vain but how could you not when all you were left with was your beauty?

You couldn’t even recount the amount of times you had sobbed and sobbed and sobbed about it the amount of times that you had prayed to something that you hoped could be bigger than the gods to give you a different parent someone who could gift you with knowledge or wisdom or skill or creativity just something that could make you feel like you were more like you were worthy, for a while you even considered joining the hunt. It wasn’t like your mother would ever let anyone endure the misery that would be loving you.

However despite all of this Luke still saw you.

You weren’t exactly friends throughout your time at camp half-blood but he treated you a hell of a lot better than most of his siblings whom would just look at you and whistle.

Whenever you two would spar he’d always give you a real challenge not letting you stop until you finally beat him and it was during the brief conversations after these moments where you found yourself seeing bits of you in him.

You were both runaways desperate to cling to something,desperate for glory, nobodies son and nobodies daughter; the wasted potential of your parents.

It was for this reason that you found yourself laying awake in the middle of the night pondering about Luke. War was bad for everyone there was no question about it and no sane person would just start of war out of spite. You knew it wasn’t right but part of you felt like he had to have had a reason for his doings something that had to have pushed him over the edge.

You hated to admit it but for the months he’s was gone you were miserable. You were loosing yourself without your conversations with Luke and worst of all you were loosing your beauty.

Sure it sounded vain but it was an odd phenomenon that occurred one in a million. See Aphrodites kids lived off of love, self and that of others it was one of the things that helped them thrive, and seeing as you were lacking both your hair began to thin and your face had begun hollowing out,suddenly you really started to feel for Luke.

It was your last straw, and what you would go on to say was your reason for the decision you made the night you saw him.

It was Labor Day weekend which also happened to be the last weekend before most began returning to camp and it was tradition for the year round campers to throw a final intimate campfire.

You had tried to ride out the night with some of your siblings but you had found it to be just as insufferable so you made your way back to your cabin.

It was quiet for a change, and for a minute it felt quite peaceful as you felt yourself closing your eyes until you heard the cabin door open once more.

You had expected to look up and see one of your siblings but instead, it was him.

You wore a shocked expression on your face your eyes looking his body up and down.

it was really him.

You didn’t know how to react he looked the same wearing sweatpants and a gray hoodie that hugged his arms a bit tighter, he had been training.

Despite the fact that he looked the same you knew he wasn’t, all you knew was that he was out for blood and he was standing infront of you.

Breathing was getting harder, as you moved back onto your bed your eyes stuck on the man infront of you.

“What…what do you want with me?” You asked still completely dumbfounded.

“Relax…..i have no intentions of hurting you.”

His expression remained the same, he was calm and collected. You felt absolutely insane.

“Why are you here Luke” you asked trying to match his tone and failing as the shakiness of your voice came through.

“I’m here to recruit you.”

You swallowed a lump in your throat. “Why me?”

“Because I think you can help me. You see when people see you all they see is a pretty face……they underestimate you, but i can see you y/n. And as far as I’m concerned you’re the smartest demigod i know” He sounded so sure of himself for a second you almost believed him.

“You’re lying” You scoffed as you watched his expression change he wasn’t as calm as he was before, he persistent on recruiting you

“Would you look around y/n? You’re the only one who even knows I’m here. Everyone else is oblivious not just to this but everything. You see the world differently, you understand me y/n i need you.”

“But why would should I?” It was vain. You needed no more convincing.

“If you join me no one is ever gonna dare look at you the wrong way, ever. I won’t let them underestimate you y/n.”

It wasn’t right. You knew it in your gut it wasn’t.

But for once in your life you felt seen,wanted, you had the chance to do something that was bigger than yourself.

“When do we leave?”

“It’s not quite like that, I need eyes on the inside….just for now until Percy arrives…not that he’ll be staying long.” Your expression dimmed as he spoke.

“You have to trust me on this”

“How do you know you can trust me?”

“I don’t, but I do know something.”

“You’re your mother’s daughter. As much as we all despise them it doesn’t change the facts. And the fact is you Aphrodite kids are too loyal for your own good.

He could read you like a book, yet there was something freeing about the vulnerability you felt, like he was setting you free.

“I’m in”

He walked closer to you placing a few golden drachmas into your hand before closing your palm.

“I expect to hear from you soon.”

You had no idea what you had gotten yourself into.

The next couple of weeks were quiet, until they weren’t.Thalias tree had been poisoned and monsters were getting closer and closer each day,something told you it was Luke behind it. If you were right it was redundant to call him but something inside of you was telling you to call him anyways, so you grabbed a golden drachma from the pile that had been hiding away in your vanity followed by a prism of clear quartz and hoped for the best.

“Oh iris goddess of the rainbow please accept my offering” A rainbow reflected upon the window next to your bunk.

“Give me Luke Castellan, Princess andromeda, New York Harbor”

When you got to Luke he was in a meeting and didn’t notice your message at first but he looked different. His curls were shorter,shiner, like he had started taking care of them. He was wearing an emerald button up, trousers, and loafers that you could’ve sworn were gucci. To say he looked attractive was an understatement.

“It’s about time” He said startling you a bit as you had begun to zone out.

“I think you know why im calling, Thalias tree is dying”

“Perfect” a smirk landed on his face.

“That’s not it though. The barrier’s diminishing there’s talk about having twenty-four seven security on half blood hill and Clarisse is already there like every hour of the day”

His expression changed.

“How fast can you get to New York harbor?”

“I’m not finished. Chiron doesn’t want Percy going to camp this year, says it too dangerous.”

That was it, his eyes darkened as his mind wandered aimlessly in panic. He looked no where near as confident as he did just minutes ago.

“Pack up im calling a car, we’ll figure out what to do about Percy once you’re here”

You watched as his face quickly faded from the kaleidoscope of colors. Something was wrong very wrong but whatever it was he trusted you with it, and you trusted him.

Packing was always your specialty, you’d had the ability to pack your entire life into a duffel bag since you had started coming to camp; shoes,toiletries makeup, on bottom, in the upper part underwear, pants,dresses, shirts, in that order, and right on-top the thing that was missing this go around. The bright orange colored “Camp Half-Blood” shirts.

There was something almost liberating about being able to abandon them on your bed. Maybe that’s why the gods always abandoned their children.

It wasn’t hard slipping out from camp, not than anyone really noticed you nowadays but it was dinner hour, and by the time it was over you were already boarding the Princess Andromeda where you were greeted by a cabin stewardess.

“Good evening Ms. Y/n. We’ve been expecting you” She was tall blonde and had dry almost scale-y hands, something told you she wasn’t exactly human but you didn’t have to be afraid anymore.

She took your bags and led you to your room, the decor ironically reminiscent of the Poseidon cabin.

“Mr Castellan needs you in the orlop at ten but until then feel free to enjoy any and all amenities, enjoy your stay.”

You nodded as you watched her leave the room closing the door behind you.

You began to unpack while simultaneously trying to figure out what to wear. You weren’t exactly sure what the dress code was for a meeting to plan the downfall of Percy Jackson but based off of what you’d seen Luke wearing in your iris message you assumed business formal.

You didn’t know what you were thinking when you’d pack the dress, it was a gift from your mother from when she’d actually bothered to try and have a relationship with you. It was a long black dress with chains around the waist. You hadn’t worn it in months. The words that came out of her mouth as she handed it to you played in your head on repeat.

“Your beauty is all powerful. What you do with that is of your choosing but choose wisely.”

You weren’t sure if you believed that anymore, if you believed her at all. But the dress felt appropriate.

You let your hair down and got ready applying some light makeup, something you hadn’t done since last summer. Meanwhile you’d thought about what people had said about Luke last summer, wondering if they’d say the same things about you once they found out, if they’d call you a “traitor” and a “monster” But If what you were doing was so wrong then how come you finally felt like yourself again?

A bit later the stewardess who had greeted you earlier escorted you down some corridors to the bottom deck to an old maintenance room that was now being used as a lair of sorts.

Inside Luke was sitting crouched over in a chair with his head down,next to him was Chris Rodriguez one if his siblings you’d seen around camp and two other men who appeared to be older than you three.

Tensions were high, you felt it as soon as you walked in.

As he heard you walk in Luke looked up adjusting himself as he looked your body up and down.

“Good you’re here. Take a seat we don’t have much time.” He said as he motioned to the seat next to him.

You sat down, the other two men watching you closely.

“How much do you know?” One of the anonymous men asked.

“Percy was supposed to go back to camp at the end of this week, Thursday. Chiron has been trying to convince Sally Jackson otherwise but Percy Himself isn’t aware of the state of camp.” You said

“He doesn’t get to camp he can’t take the bait and all of this is fucked we need a plan and we need it now.” Luke was getting agitated.

“We need to make him not going not an option.” Chris added.

“Exactly” luke replied

It was silent for a moment, the sound of Luke tapping his foot filled the room until one of the men spoke.

“I know some people we can call up, get him in some trouble at school. If he’s still under the impression camp is safe he’ll go running to Chiron.”

You watched as a wave of relief washed over Luke’s face.

“Get to it we don’t have time to waste.”

The man nodded before walking out of the room followed by the other man.

“Hey man I’m gonna go grab a drink you want?”

“Yeah I’ll meet you there” Luke said to him as Chris nodded before walking out.

You watched as he left your eyes locking on Luke once you heard the door shut. He looked even better than he did in the iris message now that you were seeing him in person. You couldn’t help but imagine things that would make even your mom blush.

“You came” He said as he turned to face you.

You sound suprised”

“Not surprised, relieved. Without your intel Percy wouldve had us chasing our own tail. I’m glad you made it.” He sounded sweet, genuine. It was hard to believe he was the same person people had talking about at camp.

“Glad I’m here.” You said shooting him a soft smile as he stood up offering out his hand, you took it as you stood up.

“You wanna come with?” He asked motioning to the door.

“I’m ok, I’ll see you later”

“I tried” He said with a fake dramatic sigh as he held his hand to his heart you rolled your eyes at his antics.

“You look good y/n” He said before exiting the room.

His words shouldn’t have made your heart flutter like they did, you were nothing more to him than a pawn, but if he could get something out of this why couldn’t you?

You decided to grab a jacket from your room and make your way up to the deck, it was late and empty for the most part as you settled on the ledge of the boat looking out at the New York skyline in the distance, the Brooklyn bridge illuminating the night sky. As much as you may have hated the gods you had to give them some credit. They picked a beautiful city to move Olympus too.

“What are you doing?” You heard from behind you as you turned to face Luke.

“Admiring the view” you responded letting out a sigh at the look of his face of disdain.

“It’s not safe out here, they’ll smell you.” He said as he walked towards you his expression ever so slowly relaxing.

“nothing you can’t handle.” You replied with a smirk. It was true, Luke was the best swordsmen you knew there wasn’t a monster he couldn’t handle.

“Doesn’t mean you can just go around getting into trouble, what am I your saving grace?”

Hearing those words come out of his mouth made you blush, he really did save you.

Cmon, you ought to get back to your room” he said as hey began walking back inside.

“It’s ok I’ll find my way around” you said as you scurried infront of him.

“Nonsense youre staying next to me I’ll walk you” Luke replied continuing to walk as you stopped in your tracks.

“You know I can look out for myself”

“Believe me I know, you wouldn’t be here if you couldn’t…..it just helps me sleep at night.” There was something comforting about his words that made you smile as you caught up to him.

“Kinda sounds like you do wanna save” you teased as you walked alongside him.

“Did I not?” He replied making a fake face of confusion causing you to roll your eyes.

“Yeah you totally did” you said as you entered the hallway your rooms were on.

“Get some rest, things should be pretty calm til we get to Miami.” Luke said resting his arm on your shoulder.

“What’re we doing in Miami?” You asked.

“Just….rest up”

“I’ll see you in the morning then” You said as you walked down to your room glancing at him down the hallway one last time before entering.

You couldn’t think straight, you couldn’t think about anything at all really. Only his words that replayed in your head over and over and over and the way his lips seemed to glisten and the way his shirt hugged his arms and most of all fthe fact that there was nearly a thin wall separating you and Luke, and the things you’d be able to hear through it.

For the first time in months you slept like a rock knowing you weren’t alone knowing there was someone looking out for you. Sure you weren’t helpless but you weren’t against the idea of Luke wanting to look out for you.

The rest of the day was nice, peaceful, for the most part that was until evening.

Word got around Annabeth had single handled gotten Percy back to camp and they were figuring out things too quickly which called for an emergency meeting meaning Luke practically dragged you out of your room while you were half dressed leaving you in a tank top and some sweatpants.

“Wait so what’s happening?” You asked as you scurried to the lower deck

“Clarisse was sent on a quest to go obtain the Golden Fleece for Thalias tree”

“Which is good for us right?”

“Wrong, cause we had assumed Percy would go”

“So what now?”

“‘thing is because of that we had started to reroute only to find out the impertinent shit and his entourage are planning on joining her” He said slamming open the door to the old maintence room and slamming it just as quickly as she opened it.

“Listen Luke our options are limited-“ Chris stated as you entered the room.

“You think I don’t know that?” Luke hissed.

“I’m just saying our best bet is to lure him on board when he gets to the harbor.”

You scowled at his words. “We can’t do that”

“Says who?” Chris scoffed

“It’s not logical. We’d be risking everything we know little nothing we don’t know who or what he could have with him all we know is who he is and he is not to be underestimated for this to work we need more. We might aswell be serving ourselves up on a silver platter”

“She has a point” One of the guys from yesterday responded as you felt Chris’ piercing eyes on you.

“Why should we listen to her? She’s always just been a dumb Aphrodite girl what like that changed overnight”

Your heart sank. Just like that you were back at camp.

“Excuse me?”

“Y/n-“ Luke said reaching out for your arm only to be pushed away.

“No what the fuck did you just say? Aphrodite may be my mother but atleast I know who my godly parent it. You’re just an unclaimed kid who Hermes took pity on so if I were you I wouldn’t be talking.”

“What did you just say to me?”

“This is a fucking joke you’re a fucking joke-“ You cursed as you stormed out Luke following quickly behind you.

“What the fuck was that?” He shouted as you walked into your room

“I don’t know you tell me”

“You can’t do that”

“I thought we had an agreed no more of that bullshit but i guess since it’s your best fucking friend that doesn’t apply to him huh?”

“What’s it gonna take for you to keep your fucking mouth shut huh?” He shouted cornering you into a wall.

You were tongue tied. For the first time you’d seen the monster people had described at camp for months. But under the anger in his eyes you saw something else, a deep hunger and desire.

“I’m sorry-“

“Luke” you cried out as you swallowed a lump in your throat causing it to come out as more of a breathy moan.

You watched his eyes lighten as the anger turned into pure lust in his eyes your shaky hand making its way up to his neck only to be met by his wrist.

“If his happens you will be putting yourself into immediate danger, and I will do everything in my power to keep you safe but not a single person can know. You are my weakness and if someone figured that out I cannot assure you that you won’t end up dead and I can’t loose anyone else y/n especially not you, but you have to understand I will not have you mess this operation up do you understand?”

You couldn’t speak.

“I said do you understand?” His voice was louder harsher.

“Yes”

The moment the word slipped off your tongue his lips were pressed against yours with full force. There was absolutely nothing romantic about the way his hands gripped at your sides and the way his lips gnawed at your skin. It was pure lust and desire.

And it was everything you had ever wished for.

you despised your mother, but for once in your life you couldn’t thank her enough.

It was rushed and sloppy but Luke had never needed anything in his life so badly like he needed you.

He could’ve kissed you forever and it still wouldn’t have been enough, his tongue longing for the taste of you the moment you pulled away from him.

“Not a word about this.”

“Maybe you’ll just have to keep me quiet.”

[hiso03]

Well, I just realized how much I love Barry and Hal's Saint and Sinner dynamic (not a big surprise, to tell you the truth), but I just find it to be a very simple way to encompass and understand their dynamics.

Hal is the sinner.

An ordinary man, similar to everyone else who has so many flaws that we can all point out.

Hal is a very ordinary person, who you can relate to because of his selfish and human attitudes.

It can be cruel, but it can also be fair.

He can be heroic, but he can also be a villain.

Hal can play any role.

He has that exquisite duality that makes him feel so real and human that it even hurts and uncomfortable to see how much he fails.

Barry, on the other hand, is the most idealistic model. Just like Clark.

A good man who acts based on principles, values and logic.

A man who would be able to put his life at risk to be able to take care of the rest.

A selfless, altruistic and nice man, the kind of person that anyone aspires to be. However, I can still understand why Barry appreciates Hal so much and deep down aspires to be a little more like him.

First Barry believes in the goodness of everyone, no matter how hard Hal tries to pose as a villain and a terrible man, he will never convince Barry of that vision; Because under his "vision" of a saint, he believes that everyone can get a second chance. Everyone has the right to rectify their lives.

He also admires him for being who he is.

All those "bad" characteristics that others see, Barry can't help but find somewhat positive.

Hal is willing to talk openly regardless of what others think.

Hal could put himself first over the rest when he thought it was necessary.

Hal could refuse and be cruel to protect himself, things that Barry often wants to do, but it is not until his limit is exceeded that he does them.

Then he realizes how much he'd really like to be like Hal and that rectifies his idea that Hal isn't that bad.

And Hal wants to be like Barry, kinder and smarter.

Able to inspire others and have a hope that can fill others with that feeling. Hal would like to be more like that ideal that Barry is, but he knows he can't be.

So he just observes it and tries to take care of him.

What other purpose does a sinner have if not to protect the purity and truth of a saint?

Hal hates himself wishing he was a little more like his friend's saint.

And Barry wants to be a little more sinful and free, like his mundane friend.

From there, born their admiration and mutual appreciation.

They can see and admire qualities that perhaps the rest cannot or are interested in seeing.

[renren-006]

Y'all did know? - Daryl x fem reader

Anon: i absolutely fucking love your fics, i read so many fanfics i don’t always remember authors but i for sure remember and recognize you and your work partially bc i reread it often❤️ after reading your last daryl fic at 4 am bc i couldn’t sleep i had an idea for a fic for him. what if it was slightly the opposite thing, like daryl and reader got together early on, maybe the knew each other before hand like reader was a bartender at merle’s favorite bar bc we all know daryl takes time to warm up to be ppl, and the cdc happens, while drinking they make their confession and get together officially, but readers like daryl with the fact they’re kinda shy and take a while to warm up to ppl so they don’t do pda and stuff publicly, not really intending to hide it but also not wanting the attention, and maybe they assume their ppl from their group know (this is where the set up for that last fic got me bc i can see this being a long timeline)......

original ask: Ask

a/n: hey anon!! i decided to copy some of what you wrote here but it was a massive request and I absolutely enjoyed reading it and writing it!!! thank you for the kind words!! you guys are why i love writing and helping make your stories become reality! hope you all enjoy reading it! word count: 3107

taglist: @rosecentury

Before World Ended:

You met the Dixon brothers a few years before the world ended. You were a bartender at a small driver's roadside bar off Atlanta I-85. You started working there after you graduated from college, hoping to make some money to put away to get out of Atlanta. 

Merle was always a loud drunk and a loud customer throughout the day. Daryl, however, was a kinder soul, apologizing for his brother before seating himself directly in the center of the bar area. The two of you chatted through your shift, mostly about who comes in, how his day was, and what the weather for the week would be like. It was small talk, but with the other rednecks checking you out, you felt comforted by him. Daryl never made any plans to put any moves on you in the three years he knew you, but when the world ended, and you almost got killed, he knew he had to.

"I like ya," he said aloud. You looked over at him. He was gazing up at the sky, a beer between his knees. You just sat there watching the man. 

“What the hell does that mean?” you asked, slightly annoyed. You not only had almost died by an undead customer, but also it was an undead customer. The idea that people could die and come back to life as something unlike themselves was utterly unbelievable. You watched blow you as that undead walked around without noticing you and Daryl on the bar's roof. Merle was blocking the rest of the bar to keep everyone out. All three of you knew you would have to leave soon, but it didn't matter; the summer breeze was still blowing, and the beer was still cold for now. 

“It means…ya almost died and the shit of the world, so… I like ya.”

“You are a master with your words,” you told him sarcastically. You've known Daryl for years now; the two of you spoke the same language with people. You were always shy, and Daryl just took a while to open up to people. You both were a lot alike, and that's what kept you together and attracted you to one another. “I like you too.”

GEORGIA:

The two of you never addressed your relationship with each other, not that anyone really needed to know. Nor did the two of you showcase it. Since both of you were shy and had a bit of a more rigid exterior about letting people in, you just figured when you were alone with each other was the time to be closer, but out in the world hand, holding, loving looks, and conversation were the way to go about it. 

Merle knew, of course; he figured it out quickly. He was the only one learning about the two of you and not caring. Daryl acted the same as he had, except he didn't dare flirt with you. Daryl had given him one look on the road when you walked ahead, and he was staring at your ass that he never tried again. Merle may be mean to Daryl, but he never would cross-touch what were his brothers. Everyone thought it was a word.

“He doesn't flirt with you, does he?” Andrea asked you a few months into living together. You shook her your head. “Weird, he never stopped with me.”

“Maybe you're just his type, Andrea.”

“And you're not? Anything with tits and an ass and Merles all over it,” she said to you, not noticing the slight touch of hands with Daryl as he walked by and the smile you gave. She kept running on about Merle's annoyance, not noticing anything else around her. 

FARM:

“You crazy bitch” you yelled towards Andrea. She had run over far behind your form and Ricks. The two of you dashed towards the fallen man without a second thought in your mind. You ran towards your man, who was lying in the grass, groaning in pain. Daryl was barely speaking in Rick's arms as they carried him off. 

“Don't worry, your man will be fine,” Shane said, keeping you from absolutely bashing Andreas' face in. She took one look at your anger and held her hands up, walking backward towards Dale. “Don't bite her head off for this.”

“Whatever,” you said, shoving him off and walking up towards the house, where Daryl was now being brought inside. You didn't even consider Shanes's words that day, “your man.” it never crossed your mind that he was teasing you. Shane was a dick; everyone knew it more recently. You could see Shane's vacant eyes glancing at everyone in a way that made your skin crawl. You thought the only reason he was acting like that towards you was this asshole was flirting. He knew you were taken, right? You were mistaken. 

ROAD AGAIN:

You handed over a can of soda to Daryl. You had only found two in the house you searched.  Surprisingly, the can was left in a cabinet, meaning you could drink it if you wanted to. Daryl and Rick approached you once they entered the house. They both came to help you in the bigger house. You placed the soda in Daryl's hand.

“It's not beer, but I know you'll enjoy it anyway,” you said to him before heading up the stairs. 

“She's sweet on you,” Rick said with a smile, teasing the man beside him about you as you skipped the last few steps. 

“I know,” Daryl said as he went to look for other things inside the house. Rick looked back and forth between the stars and where Daryl had gone off, too. He laughed slightly.

“Those idiots,” Rick said, thinking they both had no clue about the other's feelings when everyone else was oblivious to their known feelings. 

PRISON:

You stood on the watchtower, scouting the land ahead. Daryl and a few others had gone on another trip to look for supplies. You had your rifle on the railing as you watched, and then you set up their gear and trucks. Maggie slid in next to you. She watched you watch Daryl move around in the ground, setting up his motorcycle. He looked good down there; the way his body moved, his mussels, and even the way his hair was falling was driving you wild. Maggie caught a glimpse of you checking him out.

“You're so obvious,” she told you. You laughed slightly.

“Sorry,” you apologized; you knew you were obsessed with watching him, but how could you not? You’ve known Daryl for so many years now it was impossible not to watch or admire the man before you. You loved him, and he knew that. Daryl was also quite aware of your joys of watching him, sometimes he would put on more of a show of stretching or giving you those lustful eyes you knew would mean the two of you wouldn't get any sleep that night. It was his favorite thing to do to get you worked up throughout the day. 

PRISON:

Daryl knew he was forgetting something before he even shut the truck's door. He heard her voice before she even reached the hill in the Prison. 

“Wait.” Daryl glanced out the window of the truck, putting his arm out and waving. He knew she was smiling from that before her face popped up in his vision. “You forgot your water bottle!” Smiling up at him was you, his girl—Rick snickers from the seat beside Daryl. 

“Thanks,” He said, grabbing the water bottle from your hand, “saving my ass.”

“Always am,” you responded, giving him a wink. Have a safe trip out.” As you said it, you turned with a wave and walked back up the hill. Swaying our hips bit as you did, you gave Daryl a show that you knew would make him come back to you tonight with a mission. 

Daryl and Rick headed off on their scout to a new town they had spotted on the map, a few miles away from the other town they had picked clean. As the two looked around the houses, Daryl went through many jewelry cases for anything that might seem like something you would wear. Rick came in on him, picking through when he had found the perfect thing.

“She would love this,” Daryl said. Rick came up next to him, observing the (silver/gold) necklace with a bird on the end of the chain swinging in the air. 

“Do you think about anything but her?” Rick asked, laughing as he exited the room to look in the one next to it. Daryl chuckled and shook his head. No, you were always on his mind. 

Little did he know, Rick assumed Daryl had a massive crush on you, not that he had any suspicions you two were already together.

When they returned and Daryl was back sitting next to you on that mattress on the floor, he pulled out the necklace. 

“I found it,” he told you, handing it over to you so you could see it. “I know how much ya miss these types of things.”

“Haha, did you know I missed jewelry?” You asked him, shocked he somehow knew how much you missed having something to wear around your neck. He nodded his head.

“I knew, ya mentioned it a while ago. Been looking for something for ya”

“Daryl,” you said with admiration. He put it around your neck; the man who you had met in a bar all those years ago was now putting a necklace on your neck in a run-down prison at the end of the world. 

AFTER PRISON FALL:

“Daryl?” You said, besides Carol, who had just completed her job of destroying a massive facility of cannibal people. You had been with her, the girls, and Tyreese since the fall and had been so scared that Daryl didn't make it out of the prison. You had run out of the hut and left Tyrese once you heard the explosion. You had found Carol and walked over to the others and saw him. 

Daryl didn't hesitate to run straight for you. You hugged me so tight you felt the air in your lungs stop for a moment, but you didn't care.

“I miss ta. I thought ya died,” Daryl said as he clung to your body. He had gone through hell to fight and find you, and here you were, not a scratch on you and in his arms again. That necklace still hung around your neck, a form of commitment to the both of you about who you were with.

“I'm alive. I'm alive,” you said as you held the man in your arms. The others stood and watched your reunion, no one thinking anything- “Wow, they must care for each other a lot.”

Once he broke off the hug, it was like looking into the eyes of the world again. You could see color, purpose, and meaning. He was everything to you.

 

AFTER TERMINUS:

After the terminus, Daryl stuck to your side. The two of you walked together, ate together, slept near each other, and went on runs together. When Carol and Daryl went to Atlanta, so did you. 

“How long have you two been together?” she asked as you walked through another building in Atlanta. Daryl casually answered as he passed an office door with a walker trying to get out.

“Since Atlanta fell,” he answered. Carol stopped, turning back to the two of you.

“You've been together for more than three years?” She asked the two of you. “How did no one pick up on it?”

“Wait, what?” you asked, shocked, “How does no one know Daryl and me are together?”

“You two have never been very…affectionate,” she told the two of you. Darly glanced your way. The two of you laughed a little at that.

“Yea, that makes sense,” Daryl said. This was the moment the two of you started looking towards the others for any answers if they knew you were together. For the last few months on the road, getting to Alexandria yielded you the response that no one knew a thing. It caused a bit of agitation for the two of you about how maybe your attitudes about being affectionate were causing more harm than good. 

ALEXANDRIA:

Once you all had gotten settled in and jobs were assigned, you all started to try and live a normal life again.Since moving into the two houses, you shared a space with Miccone, Rick, Carol, Daryl, and the kids. You and Darly took a room downstairs along with Carol down the hall, and the rest were split in the rooms upstairs. No one questioned you staying with Daryl or even looked at the fact that there was only one king bed in that room with the two of you. 

While Darly was assigned to go on runs to look for people, you were assigned daycare and teacher duty at the house designated for the school. It kept you busy while Darly was away, and on the days you had off or no one showed, you hung around with Crol or took watch. Many days, you walked around the complex, taking in the signs and the ability to walk in peace. That was until one day.

“Hey, you're one of the women from the new group, right?” a man asked as you walked back to your shared house. You could see Daryl on the porch talking with Carol, but he had not seen you yet. 

“Uh yeah,” you said, continuing to walk back; the man pulled your arm to face him.

“You know it's rude to keep walking when someone is talking to you. Or did you forget that after living in the wild for so long?”

“I didn't forget anything; I just don't want to talk to you,” you told the man, shaking your arm out of his grasp and walking faster towards the house. Finally, you made eye contact with Daryl. The way his face looked, you knew it was because he had heard. The man didn't stop trying. 

“Hey, don't walk away from me,” he said, running back up to you, grabbing your arm so hard and pulling and making you stumble back. “What if I'm not good enough for you? Can’t a man ask a girl for some action or what?” he said, pulling you closer to him. 

“Stop it,” you yelled back, but you didn't have to fight hard. Daryl was a flash before being by your side, and the man's face was flush against his fist.

“Touch me woman again, and that's the least I'll do to ya,” he said. The man froze as he looked up at you from the ground. That was the day you realized the longer people didn't know either of you was together, the more people would try and come up to you, assuming you were not. 

Daryl went to bed that night, angry. You knew it wasn't towards you, but the coldness in the room made you feel like the world was ending if you and him couldn't be more open. 

ALEXANDRIA:

‘What if you two just got married?” Carol asked as she was cooking in the kitchen. You paused your reading from the chair in the living room to look into the kitchen at Carol. 

“What?’ You asked, shocked by her expression. She turned away from what she was cooking on the stove to talk to you. 

“Well, since the people in Alexandria won't take the hint you've taken, and Daryl's upset, and also the issue of our own family not knowing…maybe you should just go out, find some rings, and get married.”

“I…hadn't thought of that,” you told her. “You think Daryl would be okay with that?”

“I think Daryl is more on board with that idea than you think, y/n,” Carol told you. She knew about the distance that had been caused by the repetitive men hitting on you. The guy whose nose was broken never once tried to come up to you and denied anything happening with you when others asked. No one knew what Darly had said that day apart from those there. The decision was made, at least on your part. You stomped your way over to Aaron's house. When he answered the door, you stomped in. 

“Need Daryl,” was all you said before heading to the back of his house to the garage. There, Daryl's bike sat as he tinkered with it. You slammed the door open, causing Daryl's head to look towards the door. A shutter went through the house.

“The hell, woman..” Darly almost got out. 

“Marry me,” you said when he was almost done speaking. Daryl's mouth closed, looking at you. “Do you need me to repeat myself? Daryl Dixion, marry me.”

“Ya no, I heard ya y/n,” he said, standing up, “why?’

“Why? Because I love you, and no one can even tell I do or that we have been together for more than four years,” you told him, frustrated by the string of events of the past year. 

“You want to marry me?” Daryl asked, taking your face in his grease-covered hands.

“Yes,” you told him, smiling.

EVERYONE'S REACTIONS:

Rick was holding a dinner for the family that night. Carol completed a large spread, and everyone showed up. You and Daryl were late. When you showed up, the two of you were holding hands. Michone was the first to welcome the new development.

“You guys waited long enough,” she joked, causing other heads to turn. Daryl looked down at his feet, and you just let out a sigh.

“We didn't, though,” you told them. Everyone looked twords you two in confusion. 

“Didn't what?” Michone asked, clearly confused by what was happening. 

“We've been together for four years,” Darly said, “And we just got married to prove it.” He lifted his hand to show the gold band on his finger, and yours lifted as well, showing the (silver/gold) band with a few small diamonds on it. The two of you had found a jewelry store and had fun picking out your ring, while Darly wanted something simple. 

“Holy shit,” Abraham said. 

“Wait, what? '' Carl shouted, clearly confused about how his uncle had been together with you for so long, and he didn't know.

“Congratulations,” Carol answered. Everyone else was shocked. “Oh, I've known about them for a while.”

“Tonight's dinner story is how the two of you got together,” Rick said as he motioned for the others to sit, “And no one is leaving out any details.”

[kairiscorner]

Hi precious🫶🏻

Love your story’s btw💕

I would like to request a scenario where someone is bad mouthing reader (out of jealousy or smt else u decide). While Miguel is hearing EVERYTHING, that is said abt his wifey. Whatever happens next is up to you darling.🫶🏻

Don’t feel pushed to write abt something u don’t feel comfortable with💕

OH MY GOD, SURE THINGGGGGG and THANK YOU SO MUCH ??? I HOPE YOU LOVE THIS TOO !!

not another word. — miguel o'hara x wife!fem!reader

his back muscles tensed up and his nostrils flared as he huffed and puffed, his eyebrows knitting together in a furious look that tried his damn hardest to remain calm. he could not, for the words he was hearing from the so-called 'friendly colleagues' you invited to have dinner at your place were laughing and muttering to themselves under their breaths how naïve you appeared–how you looked so young and stupid, that they were shocked that an 'pretty little airhead' like you became their 'respected' colleague.

"she's got a pretty face, sure, but have you seen how much of a kltuzy butterfingered little thing she is?"

"right? watch out for her, she might woo your husband away from you with that insipid little grin of hers that just makes me want to..."

"she's so annoying, she always keeps offering me her shitty treats that nobody wants–i'm surprised she even has a husband, no one in the right mind would put up with her."

your colleagues laughed amongst themselves as they kept insulting you and calling you names behind your back; you left the living room to get them some of the goodies you baked for them that you took so long trying to figure out how to make them and actually baking them up. you were anxious this whole time if they'd like it or not, but little did you know they were already dreading to taste what you made, not caring how much effort and thought you put into making these treats–and that angered miguel, very, very much.

he tried to calm himself down and remind himself that this was your gathering, he was just going to mind his own business and let you be happy. but he can't be happy if he knows that your colleagues right there that feigned a welcoming aura and a friendly demeanor towards you didn't like you, and all for the stupidest, worst reasons he had ever heard come out of another person's mouth. miguel had enough, he was going to teach them just what happens when they insult his darling little wife one more time.

"then i guess i'm not in my right mind for wanting to stay with her," miguel said in a low, intimidating voice that made all your colleagues tense up in their seats and turn their heads to look at your husband with pursed lips. miguel looked down at them with an angry glare, with hints of a furious red in his pupils. he looked everyone down one by one and noticed they were all frightened of him–good. "but i don't really care if i'm 'not in my right mind' for loving the most perfect woman in the world, i'm not in my right mind–i'm living the best life i can and that's with her." he said as his voice softened at that latter part, thinking fondly of you amidst his anger towards these horrible colleagues who dare take your kindness and generosity for granted.

miguel sighed and furrowed his eyebrows again. "i don't give a damn about who any of you people are, how much you make, or what my wife thinks of you all–which, believe me, is a far kinder judgement than anyone would have of such mundane, cynical people–i will break every bone in your bodies and make you all beg for forgiveness and grovel at my wife's feet if i hear another lick on an insult get spewed out by those disgusting mouths of yours."

miguel spoke that threat with a low growl in his voice, he was becoming a little more feral, which he promised to you he'd keep under control, but he couldn't in this situation–he couldn't stand idly by and let you be insulted by these morons; he can't help his emotions sometimes, but believe him when he says he's tried his damn hardest to hold back on getting even angrier on these colleagues of yours that couldn't even acknowledge you were a sincerely kind soul that just wanted to make others happy.

you soon emerged from the kitchen with a gleeful smile, carrying the delicious treats you made for your ungrateful colleagues. the moment you saw them, they all looked spooked; as if they witnessed dracula or somebody just say he was going to suck the blood out of them all and turn them into human prunes. you chuckled nervously, asking them what was wrong, with miguel standing up from his seat–giving your colleagues a glare of warning–and kissing you sweetly on the lips in surprise and muttering in soft voice, "nothing's wrong, querida. oh, my favorites–i'll have to thank you with something else you like later, hmm?" he offered as he wrapped his arm around your waist, making you all flustered and shy as you tried to remind him you two had guests over. "we can always kick them out, nena, it's fine... let me hold you just a little longer." he whispered in your ear as your colleagues gulped and tried smiling up at you and praising your treats, about how good they look and smelled, how tasty they must be–making you smile wider at the sudden compliments you were getting.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @hearts4gabri @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok @fictarian @yuridopted0 @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @fable-library @ophanimgold @smokeywhalee @capnshtfce

despite the happiness you thought you were bringing your colleagues, miguel desperately wanted you to know that you don't need to make others happy... you've already make him happy since day one and he's been happier and happier with you ever since that day.

[fizziepopangel]

A Surprise For You, My Dear

* Author’s note: In this story, I’m going to interpret Alastor’s asexuality and aromanticism as more fluid than it seems to be canonically. Also, this is my first fanfic so please keep that in mind if it's shit... That being said, I hope you enjoy!

P.s. If you enjoy this fic, you can always request more with the Fic Request Form

Alastor. The radio demon. Everyone knew the radio demon, and though he had been gone for quite a while, most still feared him upon his return, but not me. Because he was different from me. Softer, kinder, more genuine. It wasn’t a relationship, at least I didn’t think it was, but I still enjoyed my time with Alastor; the dancing, the laughter we both shared, every moment left me in awe of the man that had come to be feared by so many.

“You gonna answer me or not?” Husk snapped, pulling me from my thoughts. 

I tried to cover my embarrassment that struck me when I realized that I hadn’t been listening to the old bartender at all despite having been the one that came and started conversing with the man. I sat up a little straighter and looked over at the bar cat. “Sorry, I… my mind was somewhere else. What did you say?”

Husk rolled his eyes. “I’m goin’ out with Angel tonight but that damn pig of his is sick. I think the little shit got into my whiskey when Angel brought him down here last night. Angel wants to know if you’ll watch him.” He takes a long sip of whiskey in his glass. “So you up for it?”

Although I loved Fat Nuggets and would usually jump at the chance to spend time with the sweet little pig, I shook my head. “Sorry, I have plans with Alastor.” I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face. “Al said he has a surprise for me tonight…”

“Right.” Husk gives me an unimpressed look that seems to say something along the lines of fuck you without outright saying fuck you. “Your boyfriend and your date night.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” I say awkwardly. “I mean.. I don’t think so…I mean, I… I just… I like him but its, it’s…” I sigh deeply, a heat rising in my cheeks. “Shut up, Husk.”

 “Whatever.” Husk says in his usual empty sarcastic tone. “Guess Angel and me’ll just stay in with the pig tonight…” I watch as he turns, grabbing a glass and beginning to polish it with a rag that ironically  didn’t all that clean.

“Oh… sorry, Husk…” I mumble awkwardly, suddenly feeling a bit like a dick for essentially denying the couple a night out. I knew they both deserved it but I just couldn’t bring myself to say that I would cancel on Alastor when he made the night out seem so special. “I…” I trail off for a moment, feeling the other demon’s judging eyes despite his back still being turned to me as he continues to polish glasses on the shelf behind the bar. “I’m gonna go get ready to meet Alastor. I’ll see you later, and maybe I can take Fat Nuggets another time?”

I receive a grunt in reply, but as I get off my barstool, I hear the old demon grumble under his breath…. A simple warning. “Just… Be careful around Alastor, kid…. You been having a rough enough time without his bullshit” He says, not even sparing me a glance as the words left his lips. I promise him I will, knowing that he’s only looking out for me… Husk always told me that, or at least something along those lines…. But this time felt different; this time it sent a spear of anxiety through my chest and made my mind wander to what everyone in hell knew about Alastor versus the Alastor that I knew. The Alastor that I loved despite knowing he probably didn’t and would never feel the same about me… when I really thought about it, I did wonder why the man had taken such a liking to me. I wasn't indebted to him, I had no real power in hell or the hotel, and even I knew that no matter what version of Alastor was on display, he didn't keep people around without a reason. 

My thoughts continued to wander from one shitty thought to the next as I went up to my room to change for our little hang out. I was so lost in the whirlwind of thoughts when a knock at the door jolted me from where I sat in my room.

“Darling,” Alastor’s cheery, sing song voice. “Are you ready to go?”

Despite the fact that I had just been questioning my entire purpose in his life and why my companionship was so valued by him, I practically tripped over my own two feet trying to get to the door. “Al!” I beam the second I see him. “I thought we were supposed to meet up? What are you doing here?”

Sporting his signature smile, the usually detached demon waltzed into my room, grabbing me and spinning me around. “I thought we could make our way to our outing together, hmm?” He says as I giggle. “What do you say, my dear? May I escort you to the roof for your surprise?” Alastor’s smile faded into a warmer grin as he held out his hand in invitation, waiting for me to take it.

When I took his hand and let him lead me through the halls of the hotel toward the roof, it felt as if all at once the anxieties that had been gnawing away at my gut just melted away ... it was like butterflies just swarmed my insides.

“What is this big surprise, Al?" I giggle as he whisks me up to the roof, stopping just outside the door. 

“Now, I know that you've had a rough week, and that you've been absolutely dying to see that new horror film…” He said giddily. “And I've set something up that I think you'll enjoy very much.”

A frown crossed my face for a moment. I had mentioned wanting to see the horror movie that came out last weekend, and I had been pretty having a shitty week, but I wasn’t sure where Alastor was going with this surprise since he wouldn’t dare touch a tv that would stream the movie. “Yeah…?” I laugh lightly as we stand in front of the door. “What, did you find someone to go to the movies with or something?”

“Not quite.” I can actually heat the excitement in his voice as he opens the door and pulls me through it. “What do you think?”

“Alastor…” I breathe, looking around at the rooftop. There’s twinkle lights strung up all over and blankets and pillows and wine sitting and a basket of my favorite snacks all sitting beside a projector pointed at the wall beside the door. “This is…”

“Oh, but wait, there’s more!” Alastor said, his shadow hitting play on the projector. The beginning sequence of the movie I had been dying to see popping up.

My eyes lit up and despite myself, I launched myself into the radio demon’s arms, eliciting a small ‘oof’ from the man before I felt his arms snake around me. “Alastor, this is amazing! I love it!” I looked up at the man who everyone around me seemed so terrified of, the man my friends warned me to be careful around. “Did you really do this for me?”

“Why of course!” The man smiled down at me, pulling me a bit closer than he usually did before his head dipped just a bit lower and I felt him place a soft kiss on my forehead. “I would do anything to make you happy, my sweet little radio wave.” 

My heart stopped for just a moment before it began racing, hammering against my ribcage as the butterflies in my stomach went wild. “Al…” Before I could stop myself, I found my lips connecting with his and despite his usual aversion to touch and romance and anything that could even possibly lead to sex, he pulled me a bit closer. 

When he didn't pull away, it felt like electricity crackling in my veins. I felt like every star in the sky aligned perfectly as he held me. It felt perfect, it felt right. 

Radio static cracked in the air around us and Alastor’s face was just a light shade of red, no doubt mirroring my own embarrassment at what I had just done.

“Well then, “ Alastor cleared his throat, the static seeming to fade a bit as he straightened his jacket and held his hand out to me. "Shall we sit down and watch the movie?” I take his hand and nod wordlessly, afraid that I would ruin what was certainly a perfect moment if I uttered even a word or asked him to define our relationship.

Alastor showed me to my seat on the blanketed area he had set up, I immediately sank into the soft pillows and blankets, and smiled as he sat down beside me. The movie began to play and as the opening credits began to roll, I knew I should at least thank him for all of this since I knew it was a show of care he reserved for only those he loved on some level, but before I could form a coherent sentence, I felt it… His arm snaked around my waist and pulled me closer to his own body.

“I don’t think I could’ve made this anymore perfect if I tried, Al.” I sigh softly, resting my head against his chest and listening to the quiet, steady crackle of radio static that always seemed to emit from the demon. Although he set this movie night up for me, I’m not even watching the movie, but rather, just trying to soak up this moment before it slips away. “Thank you.”

Alastor chuckles, his hand gently coming to rest on my chin. My breath caught in my throat as he leaned in, our lips hovering just apart from one anothers. “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself, my dear.” The static completely stops and his whisper tickles my lips as he catches them in another soft kiss.

The week had been shitty, but this… This was perfect.

Alastor Tag list : @writersonicfan91

[allywthsr]

RECKLESS | (l.norris)

summary: you couldn’t attend the Hungarian grandprix and you find out through articles that Lando cheated on you

wordcount: 3.3k words

pairing: landonorris x singer!femreader

warnings: cheating, being sad

notes: felt a little sad today and listened to Reckless by Madison Beer on repeat so needed to write something down! Comment your thoughts!!

request are open

Lando and you, everybody thought that you would make it to the end. Nothing could ever tear you apart, it was him and you against the world, the power couple that physically felt pain when you spent more than three days apart. The singer and the driver, everybody always made fun of Lando on how he managed to catch you, but you always told them that you couldn’t believe he was yours. In your eyes, you were the lucky one, having such a supportive boyfriend was like winning the lottery, if not even better.

Whenever you were spending hours in the studio, he understood the situation and even canceled the movie night you guys planned because you had a creative day. He sat on the couch in your studio listening to you singing while he wondered how you were able to sound that beautiful. When you were sad, he was there to cuddle, whenever you were on your period he would run to the shops and get you your tampons and pads, your favorite sweet you always craved, and put his hand on your lower stomach while hoping this would somehow help your cramps, and if they were unbearable he would get up and make you a hot water bottle. Even in the middle of the night when you would be tossing and turning he would get up, get you a painkiller, and a hot water bottle, and cuddle you until you felt better and ready to sleep, without you ever asking him to do that. Whether it was a race week or not.

But really, he couldn’t believe how lucky he was. You first moved to Woking for him, moving everything you needed into your first shared home. You found a new studio and crew just so you could always be close to him. You were never angry when a meeting at the MTC or a training session took longer than expected and he came home late. You even moved to a whole different country for him. Monaco. You, again, found a new studio and crew that offered amazing support. You left all your friends you made in Woking to start over in your new home with Lando. You made cookies and told Jon they were sugar and everything free and full of proteins just so Lando could have one or two, sneaked little Kinder bars in the paddock that Lando could have after the race without anyone knowing. You knew him like the back of your hand.

Everyone joked about how you were practically married even without the ring, at least you were acting like a married couple. Always next to each other, holding hands, or one hand was always on your lower back, showing each other memes or fan edits wherever you were. He was in your family group chat and you were in the Norris‘ group chat as well, always sending little pics of the other to keep the family updated. You thought about kids' names, what kind of dog you wanted to get, and what your final home should look like.

Over the course of the last three weeks, he started to act weird. Coming home late, and not the ’I had training and Jon made me practically puke‘ late, it was the late where he would appear after 2:00 am. When you asked where he was, the only response you got was a: ”Sorry, the guys and I got stuck in a club“, knowing damn well that Max Fewtrell wasn’t even in Monaco and you couldn’t imagine his other friends staying up that late. He would kiss your forehead and cuddle you from behind, while you couldn’t smell any alcohol.

Every other day he would hang out with his friends, while their girlfriends shared how they were all doing something different with their significant other than Lando said they would do. Nor were there any fans posting a sighting of Lando, what would happen every time he went out in Monaco. When you asked him about that, he told you not to worry, he would be in his friends‘ flat that’s why there weren’t any sightings of him.

When the first picture with an unknown girl in his car appeared, he told you to not worry about her, she was the sister of one of his friends and he just picked her up because his friend couldn’t. You believed him because you‘ve been in a relationship for so long and you could never imagine a life without him. So when another picture of her and him appeared, you got another ’don’t worry about her, she‘s just a friend that wanted to hang out ‘. You didn’t worry but were sad that she got his attention and you didn’t. He was less affectionate than he normally was. But you didn’t worry. You told him that you didn’t feel comfortable with him always being with her, he listened and promised to change, but not even two hours later he got a call from who you believed was her and he ’needed to go, his friends needed him, it was an emergency‘.

But that all changed rapidly. Just because of one night the love story of Lando and Y/N was over.

Hungary.

Hungary now left a bitter taste on your tongue when you talked about the country.

You couldn’t join him for this race, because you had stuff to do for the album that came out a week ago, this was your most famous album yet, so everyone wanted you for an interview, getting your thoughts on the album and the stories behind them. Of course, it was an Album about Lando and the love you felt for him. What else were you supposed to write about, if he was your biggest inspiration?

So when you woke up the day after the race and you had hundreds of messages on your phone, from family and friends telling you to answer their texts and read the articles that came out during the morning, you were worried. Already having a bad feeling in your gut. Just yesterday you celebrated with Lando over FaceTime. Congratulating him over his P2 finish and making fun of him for smashing Max‘s trophy while doing his famous champagne celebration. You regretted not going yesterday, but now, you regretted it even more. Maybe then it wouldn’t have happened.

When you googled Lando Norris you found hundreds of articles. All of them with the same headline ’Lando Norris cheating on his girlfriend singer Y/N?‘. Your vision immediately clouded with tears, you didn’t even want to read the articles. Too scared of what they would say. So when you opened the first one you saw, you could see a blurry picture with bad lighting. Probably taken in a nightclub.

’Is Lando Norris kissing this unknown girl or is it just a bad angle? All we know is that his longterm girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N and singer couldn’t join him for the Hungary Grandprix because of a press tour she had for her newly released album that’s a love dedication for her boyfriend Lando Norris. Insights say that they‘ve split up not that long ago because of this mystery woman, who’s hugging Norris. Whether it is true or not, we currently have no exact information. But all we can say is that people that were partying with them said, that they looked very much in love and couldn’t stop touching each other, they made various trips to the bathroom and even went to his hotel together. But why would Y/N release an album about Lando if they were broken up? So far we have no statement from both of them, we‘ll keep you updated.‘

When you tried to call Lando, he didn’t pick up, nor did he read or answer any of your texts. You didn’t want to believe this article because you both swore to the other that you wouldn’t. The media would always take the smallest bit of gossip and turn it into a big thing and often enough assume things, that didn’t even happen. You couldn’t count the times Lando and you sat on your couch and laughed while reading all of the articles about your supposed breakup.

But this time, they had pictures and pictures can’t lie. You could clearly see Lando and the girl he ’had picked up for his friend‘. So maybe she wasn’t the sister but the reason he was always late and always missing important events like your album launch party. You could still see all the pitiful faces everyone made when you told them he couldn’t come because of an ’MTC emergency‘, you didn’t come up with a better excuse. He never even told you he wouldn’t make it, he just didn’t show. So you released the album that’s about him, without him, you‘ve never been more embarrassed.

So you went to get your notebook and started writing. Letting all the feelings out you felt in that moment.

Hey, this is a story I hate

You already hated how it ended, hated how your story now had an end.

And telling it might make me break

You weren’t sure how you could make it through this situation without breaking, Lando was your first real love, you'd never thought he would be a cheater.

But I'll tell it anyway

You needed to get everything out of your system or you might burst.

This chapter's about

How you said there was nobody else

You remembered all the times he told you there was nobody else after you saw the picture of her in his car. Filling your spot, the spot where you kept all your essentials you needed during a short ride, Lando being a huge fan of the hand creme and you knew he secretly used it.

Then you got up and went to her house

The missing and coming home late made sense now. He always went to her house, that’s why the boys always did different things than he told you. Now you understood why there were no pictures of Lando in his car or him walking around town because he was always with her.

You guys always left me out

Whenever you asked if you could join his group for a round of golf he told you it was a boys-only round, but when you saw the girls‘ Instagram story of a golf caddie you knew you'd been left out and now you wondered if he took her. Introducing her to his friends. Were the girls already friends with her and meeting for lunch?

I still have the letter you wrote

When you told me that I was the only girl

You'd ever want in your life

You remembered the times he gave you a handwritten letter. At the beginning of your relationship, you told him how sweet you found it in movies when the boyfriend gave his girlfriend a love letter. And every now and then he wrote you a love letter. You memorized the last line he always wrote in every letter. ’You‘re the only girl I’d ever want in my life next to my mum and sisters, darling, I love you so much‘ and you believed him, because why shouldn’t you?

I guess my friends were right

During the early stages of your relationship your friends always told you, that he would want a younger girlfriend at some point, because he was famous and had money, he could get every girl he wanted even when he was sixty-three years old. You laughed at them, telling them what Lando and you had was real and would last a lifetime, he wasn’t someone that would want someone new every other week, he was a keeper. Oh how wrong you were.

Each day goes by and each night, I cry

After the first few pictures, when things got too much you let a few tears slip your eyes. And with every night that he came home late, you laid awake, hiding your tears and trying to keep your sobs quiet.

Somebody saw you with her last night

The more time passed the more pictures appeared and slowly headlines started to form but you didn’t believe them. Every day there was a new sighting of them, but she was just a friend, you had nothing to worry about.

You gave me your word, "Don't worry 'bout her"

You tried to count how often he told you not to worry, but you lost count. Now you found yourself pathetic, believing his lies and not even worrying while you had every right to be skeptical but you weren’t.

You might love her now, but you loved me first

They say you always love your first love, but did he? Was it even possible to love someone new that fast after cheating on someone? You couldn’t imagine it. But apparently he did, he had to, if he cheated then he had to love her now because why else would you betray your partner if you would love them?

Said you'd never hurt me, but here we are

”I will never hurt you, angel, you are forever my favorite person. If I ever hurt you, you have my permission to kill me.“ you laughed after he said that. Thinking how silly he was, he could never hurt you. Why should he? You wanted to punch yourself for believing him.

Oh, you swore on every star

”Are you seeing all the stars baby?“, you were laying on your blanket you bought for stargazing nights, as Lando liked to call them, he found it romantic to lay under the stars. ”Yes of course I am Lando“, you giggled. ”That’s how much I love you, I swear on all of them that I will always love you, you are my person.“, after that you kissed him and didn’t let him go, you remember how sweet you found the words he always told you.

How could you be so reckless with my heart?

He played with your heart and trust, threw it on the ground, and ran over it with his f1 car. At least that’s how it felt. It felt like he didn’t even care what he was doing to you, doing what he wanted and not even thinking about you.

You check in and out

Of my heart like a hotel

Whenever he wanted to be affectionate, you would let him and whenever he needed his space, you gave him that. Being at his back and call whenever he needed you, not caring what you felt and needed. He chose when to be loved and when not.

And she must be perfect, oh well

You both always said how you found the ’you‘re perfect‘ saying, bullshit. Nobody is perfect, everybody has their flaw and makes mistakes. When he forgot to get your favorite brand of sweets when he went out for groceries, he apologized but you were okay with it because he wasn’t perfect. He always told you, you were close to being perfect and if there was someone better than you, she had to be perfect. But that was impossible because perfect didn’t exist.

I hope you both go to hell

Maybe you were overreacting, maybe there was a logical explanation on why he cheated, but you couldn’t imagine one. You wanted him to leave and go somewhere far away, so you would never have to see him again. You wished him to have a broken leg so he couldn’t race next weekend, you wanted him to suffer somewhere the way he deserved. And her too. She must’ve known he wasn’t single, she could‘ve stopped it or even prevented it if she would have wanted to.

I still have the letter you wrote

When you told me that I was the only girl

You'd ever want in your life

Often the letters were addressed to ’the only girl I ever want in my life‘, you even put his handwriting with this sentence on your album cover. Showing his love for you with it, while everybody was swooning over the sweet words he always found for you, now all they meant to you, were broken promises.

I guess my friends were right

Even after celebrating your fourth anniversary, your friends told you to be careful, you never knew what men were up to. You laughed, thinking how your man would never hurt you. You should’ve listened.

Each day goes by and each night, I cry

Somebody saw you with her last night

Every time someone sent you another picture of her, you cried your little heart out, too scared that she would do something that he would regret later, you trusted Lando, but not her.

You gave me your word, "Don't worry 'bout her"

You could only shake your head now. The typical ’don’t worry about her‘ and you actually believed him, you didn’t worry about her because he made you feel loved. With every ’don’t worry about her‘ you grew a little more suspicious but you trusted him, so you didn’t worry.

You might love her now, but you loved me first

”The first love is not supposed to last, but you will always be my first love and my favorite.“, he told you one morning in bed after a wild night. You smiled and cuddled to his naked chest, thinking how you were Lando Norris‘ first love, no one could take that from you. Being the first love was a good feeling.

Said you'd never hurt me, but here we are (here we are)

Even before you got together you told him that you were scared of getting hurt, you didn’t want to go through the process of getting over someone you loved. But he promised to never hurt you, because he loved you too much for it, guess not, huh?

Oh, you swore on every star

Every time you couldn’t be together for a race he would text you when it was nighttime at your place, that you‘d only have to count the stars to see his love for you. The stars would represent his love when he couldn’t show you personally.

How could you be so reckless with my heart?

Your poor heart now had a hard time, recovering from such a tragic event, not being thought about and just trashed like he didn’t even care.

How could you be so reckless?

How could you be so reckless?

Yes, how could he be so reckless?

How could you be so reckless with someone's heart?

You were sure that she also must feel bad, or at least start feeling bad when the fans would find her Instagram account and trash her. You were never a fan of hating someone online, but it was her own fault, being the other girl is a hard thing that you have to carry for the rest of your life, you basically destroyed a relationship.

Hey, this is a story I hate

You couldn’t believe how love could turn into hate so quickly. You had loved the love story you and Lando shared. Meeting at an event, exchanging numbers, and falling in love. But now you hated every minute of it. Wishing you would have never met him.

But I told it to cope with the pain

Music was your therapy. You needed it to survive, otherwise, you would burst with feelings, normally happy ones, now you needed it so you wouldn’t fully break down.

I'm so sorry if you can relate

———————————————————————————

Part two

[padfootagain]

Love in Verses (II)

Chapter 2 : ‘Through me the way to the City of Woe’

Hi, everyone!!! Here we go for a second chapter! Drama is upon us, the plot is plotting! Let me also introduce you to Samantha, Andrew’s partner… I’m sure you’re going to love her a lot…

I hope you like this series! Tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader (professor!AU)

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt, hurt/comfort, tooth-rotting fluff in later chapters, some scenes in later chapters will have heavy sexual themes even if it’s not explicit nsfw description, so minors here

Summary: Your life seems perfect. You're engaged, your career is thriving as you become an assistant professor at Trinity College, and this Andrew Hozier-Byrne you're sharing an office with seems to be a nice guy you hope to call a friend soon. Life seems to be smiling at you... until everything goes sour. When your fiancé breaks up with you, your perfect world shatters. And when your colleague also gets his heart broken soon after, your shared office seems to be a curse rather than a blessing. But Andrew seems determined to mend your broken hearts... Will things finally go according to plan?

Word Count: 4510

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s masterlist – Main masterlist

Through me the way to the City of Woe, Through me the way to everlasting pain, Through me the way among the lost. Justice moved my maker on high. Divine power made me, Wisdom supreme, and primal love. Before me nothing but things eternal, And eternal I endure. Abandon all hope, you who enter here.

Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy : Inferno, Canto III, 1321

Andrew was tired, but then he was tired all the time.

As he prepared himself a strong coffee that morning, Sam was busy on her phone, probably going through her social media or reading the news. It didn’t really bother him, he was quiet in the morning anyway, liked to start slowly, to emerge into the world in a silent and gentle way. He was naturally a night owl, it was a struggle every morning to get out of bed early. At least, before the new year of classes started, he could go to work later, no classes schedule early these days.

Elwood was sleeping again. After an early walk around the neighbourhood, the dog was back on his comfortable bed, curled in a black and white ball, softly snoring. Andrew looked at his dog with love, refraining from petting his head, choosing to let him rest instead. He was a good boy, he deserved all the sleep he wanted.

He thought of you as he poured some coffee in his favourite mug. The meeting to distribute classes for the upcoming year was today. Of course, there had been one already before summer, so lecturers could begin preparing their classes if they needed. But some new arrivals would change a few things, some negotiations between lecturers too. Andrew himself was going to switch a class with Colm, another professor from the English department, inheriting a class about Yeats’s poetry instead of biblical studies. If he wasn’t against some religious metaphors – and given the weight of religion in Ireland, Andrew reckoned that he could never escape from it anyway – he was happy to avoid teaching about it.

But you were new at Trinity, and he wanted you to enjoy yourself during your first year. Upon his arrival, Andrew had lacked a guide, someone who would explain to him how things worked, especially the more selfish and ruthless side of the institution. If Trinity was wrapped in traditions, it was also filled with professors who cared little about their colleagues thriving in their academic pursuits, especially if that meant compromising with their own wants. Some professors were kinder than others, more willing to compromise. He’d help you navigate through the meetings, and hoped you could get to choose your classes too…

“My mother wants to invite us on Sunday,” Sam broke the silence that covered Andrew’s kitchen. A blank silent, an emotionless one; neither uncomfortable of comfortable, one that was there to settle on the furniture and in the corners of the room and simply lay there, undisturbed.

“I can’t on Sunday, I’m helping Jon with his film project, and then I’ll have lunch at my parents’. You were supposed to come to lunch with me.”

Andrew turned to Samantha then, sipping on his coffee and grabbing an apple as a breakfast. She said nothing, but her frown spoke volume. She was annoyed, maybe even angry.

“It was planned, baby. I’m sorry, we can go next week.”

“I think I’ll go see my parents anyway,” she said, her tone cold and firm, the one Andrew knew meant that he had no chance of changing her mind. He heaved a sigh, rubbed at his tired eyes with the back of his hand.

“As you wish, I’ll warm my mom.”

“You’re really not coming with me?” she asked, and her eyes were throwing daggers at him.

Andrew bit on the inside of his cheek, his stare growing sterner as well.

“I had planned to spend time with my family, and my brother needs my help. I’ll come with you another time.”

We had planned to spend time with my family… but he didn’t say that out loud, unwilling to start an argument.

She mumbled something under her breath, turning to her phone again; something about ‘a useless film’, and Andrew didn’t want to hear her comment, he knew he wouldn’t like it.

“Won’t you be late for work?” she asked, her voice calmer again, but the remark annoyed Andrew anyway.

“I don’t have classes, and the meeting is at 1pm, I can take my time.”

She could have added a comment on his time blindness, but she didn’t, and he was grateful for it. He relaxed a bit thanks to that.

“Busy day for you today?” he asked, and she heaved a sigh in response.

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ll come over tonight. Besides, we might go for drinks with the guys from the tech company we’re working with at the moment. Do you remember? I told you about them.”

“Of course, I remember, honey,” he answered with a soft, tender voice.

“I still haven’t finished that bloody logo for them…”

Andrew was brought back to their university days then, when she studied art and he studied literature. When she longed to paint all day long and he fumbled through notebooks and broken guitar strings. When they both had dreams that were too big for them. They had made a choice, had decided to finish their degrees, and not to make the hardest of the sacrifices that would have opened the gates to a life filled with art. Andrew had changed major from music to English during his first year, had passed his exams instead of spending his time in a studio. Samantha had specialized in design and publicity, and had given up her brushes that painted the coasts of Ireland in favour of simpler shapes created on a screen. Andrew couldn’t say that he had regrets about it. He liked his life like this, on the outskirts of Dublin, sharing his love for poetry, writing his own poems, waking up most days by Samantha’s side, even if after all these years she still didn’t want them to move in together, and he couldn’t fathom why. He loved his job beyond measure, always finding a fascinating detail to study, something new to read that would shake his world. He still sang with friends when he felt like it, sometimes wrote music to fit his poetry. He had a full life, a happy one, he couldn’t complain, really.

He thought about the engagement ring he had bought once, when she wasn’t ready to get married. She had said no, it had broken something inside of him. But he loved her, he would be patient, he could wait, and anyway, that was years ago…

“You’ll do an amazing job, you always do,” he encouraged her, but she rolled her eyes.

“You’re too sweet sometimes,” her words were spoken as criticism, not as a compliment. He clenched his jaw.

“Anyway, I’ll be pretty busy too, today,” he said, even though she hadn’t asked about his plans for the day, but then she hardly ever asked. She listened when he spoke about it though, and that ought to be enough. “We have our final meeting to select the classes we’re going to teach. I’m a little worried for Y/N, though.”

“Why? I’m sure she can take care of herself.”

Sam’s tone was a little dry still, he wasn’t sure if she were jealous or simply still annoyed.

“Trinity isn’t always filled with the nicest people. A lot of academics are quite selfish sometimes. I want her to have a nice time teaching. She seems very nice. And I arrived only last year, I know how stressful this situation can be.”

Sam nodded, but didn’t seem convinced.

Andrew threw the core of the fruit in the bin, finished his coffee, washed his mug. He didn’t want to argue, didn’t want to fight. Still, for some reason, he really wanted to talk about you. He had been worried upon learning that someone would share his office now, and he was relieved to find that you were kind, smart, and everything but annoying. He hoped the two of you could become friends.

“Y/N said that she found a poster for the office too! Can’t wait to see what she’s chosen.”

“Nice,” Sam nodded, and Andrew knew she wasn’t paying attention anymore.

He let out a long exhale through his nose, and she didn’t notice. He grabbed his water bottle, crossed the room, stopped to drop a peck on her head as he walked by her.

“Have a nice day, babe. I love you.”

“You too. Love you.”

She didn’t look up from her phone, and it sounded automatic, the way she answered. Andrew remembered when they started dating, about seven years ago. Both in their early twenties, young and naïve and heads full of dreams. She used to stare at him for hours, she used to look him in the eyes every time she said she loved him, to make sure he knew she meant it. He wasn’t so sure she meant it every time she said it anymore…

He pushed the thoughts away; he reckoned that this was his busy, anxious brain talking. Instead, he put on his shoes and his denim jacket, grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He stopped thinking about Sam, and thought about you and the poster you had promised you would bring today, and he walked out of his flat.

The meeting was over, and you seemed happy. Actually, you seemed ecstatic. And it made Andrew happy as well.

He had managed to get the class about Yeats, as planned. He had helped you through the meeting, discreetly, in whispers, but it was enough for you to secure classes you were interested in teaching. This year, you would teach three classes bound directly to your research, a general introduction to 19th century English literature, another about revolutionary writings in which you planned on including a fair share of pamphlets about women’s rights, and another about 19th century novels. You were buzzing with excitement as you walked back to your office, chatting with Andrew and his good friend Colm.

“I have so many things to prepare, but also… I feel very confident in these subjects,” you grinned at the two men.

“You can’t be happier than Andy finally teaching only classes he wanted,” Colm laughed, bright and loud, throwing his head back like a child despite the fact that he was middle-aged man.

Andrew nodded, heaving a relieved sigh.

“I thought Lydia was about to make a scandal…”

“She didn’t want you to leave one of the difficult classes. You’re too popular a teacher for that.”

Andrew rolled his eyes.

“I definitely am not.”

“You are too! Students love him,” Colm added, turning towards you. “And I will easily admit he’s a good professor, great at explaining things, and always very calm. But let’s be honest, the fact that most of our students are attracted to him helps a lot.”

Andrew looked away, trying to hide that he was blushing, but you laughed anyway.

“Such a pretty mug!” Colm teased, trying to grab Andrew’s chin, but he merely pushed his friend away, laughing.

“Quit your nonsense, would you?” Andrew laughed. “Don’t listen to him, Y/N. He loves talking shite about others.”

“That is not true! Y/N! Please, with your feminine point of view… tell him I’m right.”

You chuckled, shied away, but answered anyway.

“Oh, I’m sure Andrew must be popular, yes. I would have definitely preferred staring at his face when I was a student, compared to the old dinosaurs I had to put up with.”

Andrew was blushing so hard, even his ears were turning a bright shade of red, but he couldn’t refrain his grin nonetheless.

“Please, tell me I don’t fall in that category!” Colm protested, making you laugh.

“No… not quite yet. You still have a couple of years ahead of you,” you joked, and Andrew burst into laughter, while Colm mumbled something under his breath, rolling his eyes.

“Well, children, this is my stop, have a good day,” he mumbled, entering his office while Andrew and you continued a bit further.

“I’m glad you’ll give classes you’re interested in,” Andrew said, giving you a warm smile.

“Thank you so much for helping me throughout the meeting. It was… a lot to take in.”

“Yeah, some people here are proper gobshites.”

You laughed at that, entering your shared office.

“Hmm… I have noticed, yes. You seem particularly fond of Ian,” you chuckled, and Andrew rolled his eyes.

“I’m a very peaceful kind of lad, but that arsehole deserves to get some sense being punched into him.”

You raised a surprised eyebrow at that. If you had been teasing, the fact that Andrew had turned more serious as he answered made you intrigued now, rather than playful.

“Really? What did he do?”

Andrew stared at you for a few seconds, wetting his lips before he would answer.

“Nothing illegal, don’t worry. But he’s an arsehole. He will destroy your career and reputation if it serves his interests. Especially if you’re a woman.”

He saw you clenching your jaw at that last remark, and he heaved a sigh.

“I’m sorry,” he shook his head, and he hoped you could see that he meant it.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s not you who is at fault. Anyone else I should be cautious about?”

“Mahon, O’Reilly, Evans, Hillstone and Patterson.”

You raised a surprised eyebrow.

“You’ve got a whole list ready,” you pointed out.

“I’ve been here for a year. Fool me once, shame on you…”

You slowly nodded, Andrew sighed again.

“Don’t worry, the rest of the bunch are nice though. Most of them are nice.”

“I’m used to it.”

You shook yourself out of the conversation, a smile growing on your features.

“I have something to show you!”

Andrew frowned a little at that, bending to avoid the lamp hanging from the ceiling as he walked over to your desk. He had grabbed his thermos filled with his favourite brand of tea.

“Really?”

You pulled out a rolled poster, and he laughed.

“Oh! So you did settle on some decoration!” he pointed out, while he opened the buttons of his grey tweed waistcoat. He buried his hand in the pocket of his tweed pants while you fumbled with the empty frame.

He put down his thermos on the edge of your desk, then pushed back a strand of hair that was falling across his eyes, readjusted his glasses upon his nose. You were quick to place the poster in the frame, and you grinned up at him once you were done, right before turning the frame around to show him the poster.

“I love this illustration. I had it hanging in my dorm when I was a student, and then in my first apartment. But my fiancé finds it a little… dark. And he’s not particularly interested in literature so… he doesn’t really get it. Anyway!”

You stopped your little rambling, grabbed the frame, and showed it to him.

Andrew raised a surprised eyebrow, immediately recognising Gustave Doré’s illustration of Dante’s Inferno.

The black and white print showed Virgil and Dante standing on the edge of a precipice, staring at a hurricane carrying the souls of sinners, talking to a couple crying in their everlasting punishment. Andrew had not read the book since his own college days, but he remembered that this was the punishment for those guilty of lust.

“Do you like it? Can I hang it?” you asked, an excited smile he found adorable on your lips. “I thought the black and white would fit your poster quite well.”

“Sure, go ahead. Need help?”

But you were already placing the frame against the wall.

“I have to admit, I’m quite surprised by your choice,” Andrew inspected the print, leaning against your desk, his hands still in his pockets. “I didn’t picture you as a fan of Dante… especially given his… conservative thoughts.”

“I love Inferno. I’m not going to pretend that I love the entirety of the Divine Comedy, but I love Dante’s image of hell. The haunting part of it. The way it is structured. Of course, it’s medieval thinking about issues that have radically changed now, but… It was a long time ago. If I don’t appreciate all of his thoughts, I do admire his imagination. Besides, it was a heavily political book. I’m surprised you don’t give him more credit for that.”

He answered your teasing smile with a genuine one.

“I do remember a little bit of that. Last time I read it, though… I was a student and hadn’t chosen to suffer through it. Besides… I think I was a little too young to understand it fully.”

You nodded.

“I’ve read it many times. I don’t know, there’s something… something about it that draws me in. Not the Christian moral lessons, of course. But just… I don’t know… there’s something fascinating about it. And I often wonder what our version of hell would be today. If we kept the structure, if we kept the place Dante created… how would we view those who are imprisoned there? Would we find their pain justified? Would we find it unfair to punish them like this? And who would we place in there? If we replaced the references to people Dante knew by people from our world, who would be stuck in Hell?”

Andrew pondered on these questions while he kept on listening to you. He had a few names in mind, for sure. He smiled at the thought, didn’t interrupt you while you babbled away about the book, about the things you loved and disliked about it.

“And I love Doré’s illustrations so much! They’re haunting, just like the book. And this one in particular, with Francesca and Paolo… like… their story is so sad, but even Dante was touched by them. Even if the moral in his book is outdated now, goes against what I believe… I’d like to think that we’d turn their story around today, that we wouldn’t condemn their love or include such a warning towards fiction through them, you know… with the whole reference to Arthurian myths and everything… don’t know if you remember that… but anyway… what would we think of them today? I’d like to believe we would find their punishment in hell unfair.”

You trailed off after that. You were nervous when you looked at him, pushing some of your hair behind your ear.

“Sorry for the ramble,” you apologised, but Andrew frowned in response.

“No need to apologise. Why would you?”

“I didn’t mean to bother you.”

“You’re not bothering me at all. Your thoughts are very interesting.”

You blinked at him, as if surprised. You gave him a bright smile, growing a little shy.

“Right, thanks. But we should get back to work.”

Andrew nodded, moved away from your desk and bent again to avoid the lamp hanging from the ceiling.

He looked at you as you stared at the poster for a moment. He was happy you were the one sharing his office, you were getting along well, you were so nice, you were so smart and always seemed to have something interesting to say. He just wanted to talk to you more about this book you loved, but you were right, you both had a lot of work to do. He should focus on this article he was reading before the meeting. Instead, he looked at you for a moment longer. And before his brain pushed the thought away, before Samantha was on his mind again, he didn’t fail to notice how beautiful you were.

He looked for his thermos across his desk, furrowing his brow when he didn’t find it there. He rolled his eyes, annoyed at himself when he remembered where it was.

He walked over to your desk again, reached for it while you were still focused on the poster. But his fingers got clumsy as he threw you a glance, and it fell across your desk. Some of the warm beverage was spilled on the wooden surface.

“Shite! God!”

You turned around at the sound, but Andrew didn’t see your eyes growing slightly round. Instead, as a reflex, he had grabbed your phone and papers to secure them, was already looking for some tissues to clean the mess he had made. You reached for some Kleenex tugged inside your backpack.

“Christ, I’m so sorry,” Andrew profusely apologised, hurrying to clean your desk too. “Sorry, I’m so… long, clumsy limbs… I’m so sorry…”

He cursed at himself under his breath, didn’t look at you, fiercely blushed. Always count on him to ridicule himself…

“That’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” you reassured him, and when Andrew looked up again, you had an earnest smile on your lips. “It was just an accident, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m sorry…”

Andrew was so flustered, so embarrassed… He finished cleaning, handed you back your things without making eye-contact, rubbed at his collarbone through his shirt as soon as his hands were empty again.

When he finally looked up once more, you were still smiling.

“It’s nothing, Andrew. It’s merely a little bit of tea. Besides, you’ve saved the most important items on my desk. Nothing to be so upset about.”

The anxious side of him had kicked in, he couldn’t help it. He ran his fingers through his hair several times while he forced out a chuckle.

“I know, sorry…”

Andrew walked back to his desk, looked at his computer screen while he heard you chuckling lightly. He saw in the corner of his eyes that you were fondly shaking your head at him.

Why did he have to always make a fool of himself, huh?

All you wanted to do was to rush home to share the good news with Frank.

You had managed to get interesting classes, including some linked to your research… you were so excited to get to work and begin teaching in October.

When you came home, Frank was on his computer, working. He kissed you when you leaned closer, but focused on his screen again, and so you decided to wait for dinner to talk to him about your day.

You took a shower, prepared dinner. Frank was still working, he only stopped when you told him dinner was ready.

“Smells nice,” he said with a smile, squeezing your hand, and you took the gesture for a silent thank you.

“Thanks!”

Frank remained silent as he started to eat, and so you jumped on the opportunity to speak about your day.

“The meeting about classes and lectures was today. And it went so well!” you started babbling away, Frank looking up at you with an emotionless gaze. “I’ve managed to get topics I’m interested in, and I’m going to teach about my research too! I mean… not directly about my research, but problematics bound to it! I’ll have a class about the male gaze and female gaze dynamics, another about feminism and feminist essays…”

“That’s great, babe.”

“Yeah! Andrew helped me navigate through the meeting quite a bit, and he got the classes he wanted too, so…”

“That’s nice.”

“Yeah! And…”

“Could you hand me the salt, please?”

“Sure. I’m also gonna work quite a lot on the 19th century, which is great! I like that period, especially for novels. And that means that I can include lots of female writers, like Austen and the Brontë sisters, obviously… but I can also spend some time on feminist movements, cause that’s really an important century for them.”

“Good, good…”

“Yeah, that’s grand, and…”

He heaved a sigh, and you grew quiet.

“You’re alright?” you asked, trying not to show your disappointment.

You knew that this question meant that the conversation would focus on him for a while, and you might not be able to talk about today again.

“I… Y/N, we need to talk.”

Your heart sank.

That was not the answer you were expecting…

“Talk?”

“About us.”

“What? What do you mean? About the wedding, you mean?”

“No, I…”

He hesitated, looked at you for a moment, before putting his fork down.

“I think we should break up.”

And that was it. Words that were shattering your world spoken like they were easy to let out, like they didn’t mean the earthquake they produced. You merely stared for a moment, waiting for Frank to tell you that he was joking, to take his words back. But he didn’t.

“I’m sorry,” he went on. “But I think we should go our separate ways.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? We’re engaged! We’re going to get married!”

“I’m sorry, Y/N… I know it’s pretty sudden…”

“PRETTY SUDDEN! WE’RE ENGAGED! YOU’RE EATING MY FUCKING FOOD!”

“There’s no need to shout…”

“NO NEED TO SHOUT! OF COURSE, THERE IS A NEED TO SHOUT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!”

“I’m sorry… but it’s best if we don’t stay together.”

“Why? What happened? You… We’re supposed to get married…”

“I’ve met someone else, Y/N.”

Your eyes grew round, and suddenly all air had left your lungs.

“You… you’re cheating on me?!” you asked, your voice lowering again, your emotions bubbling too much, tears rising to your eyes.

“No! No! No!” Frank defended himself, shaking his head vehemently. “Nothing happened. I swear, nothing happened… but… Y/N, if I am able to feel this way for another woman, then we shouldn’t get married.”

“For how long have you known her? Who is it?”

“You don’t know her. We’ve met through work.”

“How long?”

“Not long… a few weeks.”

You raised an unimpressed eyebrow, crossing your arms before your chest.

“A few weeks? You’re trying to make me believe that you want to leave me for a woman you’ve met weeks ago?!”

“You don’t understand, we’re in love…”

You felt your head starting to spin, you had buried it in your hands.

This was a nightmare, just a bad dream, you would wake up and everything would get back to normal, you would tick all the right boxes again…

“What do you mean in love?”

“I love her. I know that it sounds… mental, but I do. And if I can fall in love with someone else like this… then you and I shouldn’t get married. It means that I… that I don’t love you enough to marry you.”

“You’ve got to be joking…”

“I’m not. I’m sorry, but I’m serious.”

“What’s her name?”

“Does it matter?”

“No, no… Do you want to be with her?”

“Yes. But I don’t know if she’ll want to be with me.”

“Really?”

“She’s not single either.”

You laughed then, tears streaming down your face too, unable to cope with the tidal wave of emotions that was drowning you.

Denial, pain, betrayal, anger, sadness…

“I’ll gather my things,” he said, standing up while you started shaking on your chair, struggling to breathe.

You didn’t even notice that he was moving away, that he was packing… you remained frozen on your seat, sobbing, while Frank was gathering fragments of your lives and tearing them away from your space.

He only reappeared about an hour later in the kitchen, the rest of your meal was cold. You hadn’t moved an inch.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

And then he was gone.