#I really didn't want to think of the mall as 'dead' since I was like 'well people still go to those two stores'

[heartshattering]

The mall I used to go to when I was younger is dying (or already dead considering who you ask). There's pretty much only two stores left that any people care about going to, one being a bookstore and the other being an anime shop that's a small, minority-owned business...

Well, today I found out some people (looked like late teens - 20s in the security footage, so not little kids) have been stealing blind box figures from the shop, maybe to resell online 'cause the shop has them for minimum $20 less than what I see people asking for them on shopping apps. They haven't caught who's doing it and sadly I think it's the kind of thing that will probably continue happening. It just sucks that the shop is most probably going to go out of business, I'm a shut-in and can't even remember the last time I went to any mall in this city thanks to my current life situation, but it's still sad since the shop owner is genuinely sweet.

[hairmetal666]

"But why is he here all the time," he whines to Robin. She doesn't like him much, but Scoops is empty, and what else is he supposed to do? Not speak to her at all?

"Why do you care what Eddie Munson is doing at the mall."

"I don't care." He scoffs, rolls his eyes. "He's just always here. Doesn't he have anything better to do?"

"Do you?"

"He doesn't work here."

"Haven't seen you doing a lot of work here, Steve."

"You spent forty minutes yesterday drawing on your sneakers."

She shakes her head, but doesn't say anything because he's right and she knows it.

He goes back to staring at Munson, sitting on the edge of the fountain. He's relaxed back, legs spread, looking like he owns the place. The way he's leaning, his t-shirt rides up, showing a tantalizing glimpse of pale skin and the lightest dusting of hair. He doesn't remember his mouth being so dry before.

"You're such an idiot." Robin smacks herself down beside him. "Eddie's a good guy. Is this just because he's the freak and you're King Steve?"

"No!" He says it too loud, a few people in the foodcourt turn to stare. "I'm not that guy anymore. That's all just--" he flaps his hand, can't find the words.

She makes a disbelieving noise, eyes narrow. "I'll never forgive you if you hurt him."

Robin stomps off to the backroom before he can stop her, tell her he doesn't want to hurt Munson.

One of Eddie's friends says something that has Eddie stretching back to hear, pulling his shirt higher, flashing the dark line of a tattoo, and that's too much, that has him slamming his eyes closed, rubbing at his brow but all he can think is--

cold cinder block at his back, hot mouths and fumbling hands and long, deft fingers; desperate, bitten off moans; hands fisted into long curls; the hot, bittersweet taste of him

It was only a handful of times, quick encounters in the locker room, once under the bleachers in the gym. And Steve, he'd never--it didn't mean anything, but it meant everything, and Eddie's been all he can think of for months.

A group of middle school girls comes in, then, and he forgets about Munson as he scoops ice cream and blends milkshakes. The next time he looks to the fountain, Eddie is gone

---

Steve cleans up the remnants of a dropped milkshake at the store entrance, and his shorts are a little too tight, okay, he can feel the way they pull around his hips when he bends too much, but he has to clean the tile before the rush starts and customers complain. There's one spot, though, it's already dried, has to really put his back into it.

The food court is crowded by the time he finishes, bustling with customers. He turns to grab the bucket, and stops dead in his tracks. Munson sits on one of the built-in planters directly behind him. He was staring at Steve's polyester clad ass, but now his eyes travel up Steve's body, getting darker with desire as they go.

He's trapped in place by the force of Eddie's gaze, by the want there. They stare at each other in silence, Steve's blood thumping a vigorous rhythm.

The moment breaks when Robin's voice, calling his name, catches his attention. He turns back to his work without a word, but inside he's reeling.

---

Steve's opening alone, comes out from the back, and there Eddie is, lounging on the fountain rim with a magazine in hand. It's been a couple of days since he's been around, not since the incident. He watches as Munson languidly flips through the pages, seeming not to have a care in the world, and he--

Well, he's never really had to wait around for something he wants.

He stalks over to the fountain, stops when the tips of his sneakers touch the toes of Eddie's boots. And, yeah, he's in his dorky sailor outfit, but Munson didn't seem to mind the other day. Steve thinks maybe he likes it.

"Munson," he says. His hands are on his hips.

Eddie looks up, slow, taking Steve in. He leans back further, crosses his legs at the ankle. "Harrington."

They stare at each other. Steve starts biting his lip. Not as a move--he's nervous, suddenly, that all of this is a waste and Eddie isn't interested--but Munson's gaze hooks on his mouth, lingers, like a warm caress.

Steve's never initiated things between them before, isn't sure if it's working. He takes the chance, though, starts walking away.

He crosses through the seating area, past the counter, into the back, doesn't know for sure if Eddie is following until the door doesn't close right away behind him.

There's a single beat of a second where they watch each other and neither moves, before Eddie is on him, grabbing his shoulders and pushing him into the wall.

"What the fuck is this, Harrington, huh?" They're close enough for their noses to touch. "You ignore me for months and now--"

"You're here all the fucking time," he snaps back. "Sitting in the same spot like you own the place."

"So, I'm not allowed to be at the mall now?" Eddie sneers. "God forbid I'm in sight of the king."

Steve tries to pull away. "That's not what this is, and you know it."

"Then what is it, Stevie? Spell it out for me real slow to make sure I understand." He leans in, a little, and Steve stops breathing.

Eddie's lips brush his, a gentle press that isn't quite a kiss, not yet. His knees go weak, the wall at his back the only thing holding him up, but the kiss doesn't deepen. Instead, Eddie steps back, laughs. "You think I'm this easy, sweetheart? That you can lure me with your little sailor costume and I'll come without a fight?"

"Am I wrong?"

Eddie scoffs, turns his head, and Steve thinks he overplayed it, that his misread everything.

"Fuck you, Harrington." Eddie grabs him, then, hands fisting into his sailor shirt. "Fuck you and this stupid, sexy outfit. Fuck you for knowing this would work on me."

His mouth presses against Steve's throat, and he moans, clinging to Eddie's jacket.

"Listen to you, sweetheart," Eddie murmurs. "Making all those desperate, pathetic sounds for me. Almost like you missed me or something."

"I did." He groans as Eddie's mouth moves along his jaw. "Missed you so much, haven't been able to stop thinking about you."

Eddie sinks his teeth into Steve's cheek, and he has to stifle his shout. He's harder than he can remember ever being before, thinks he could come just from the feel of Eddie's teeth in his skin.

"That's not what you told Billy," Eddie says. "When he almost caught us."

"I didn't want him to hurt you," he gasps. "I--I didn't want him to have a reason."

Eddie pulls away, Steve grasping after him. "I can handle Hargrove."

"He hit me in the head with a plate." Steve points to the small scar on his forehead. "That's how I got that concussion last year."

"Oh," Eddie blinks. He cards his fingers through Steve's hair, pulling it out of the way to see the scar better. "Sweetheart. I thought--" he swallows, throat working. "I--I keep coming here to see you. I wanted--"

His hand falls to Steve's neck, drawing him in. For a second, Steve thinks it's another tease, but Eddie does kiss him this time. It's deep, desperate, so thorough he thinks Eddie's memorizing the taste of him. He doesn't want it to ever stop, not for a second.

Outside, someone starts hammering on the counter bell, shouting for service.

They slip apart, Eddie still gently cradling the back of Steve's neck. "Come over tonight?" Eddie's eyes are so dark, wanting, he could drown in them.

"Yes." Because there is no other answer.

He lets Eddie out the back door just as Robin yells from the front, "Harrington! We have a customer! I haven't clocked in yet!"

"Be right there," he yells back, but not fast enough that she doesn't catch a glimpse of Eddie slipping out.

She whirls to him, brow in an angry furrow. "Steve! I told you not to hurt him!"

He can't stop his smile. "Buckley, I promise you, Munson can take care of himself."

[cherryblossompink303]

Patience: ~Kyoya's reluctant day out!~

➼ pairing: Kyoya Ootori x Reader ➼ summary: Kyoya get's dragged out to the mall ➼ what to expect:  "'i'm so screwed' you whisper to yourself." ➼ warnings: none ➼ Part Sixteen | Part Eighteen

""Hey Kyoya, I have just had the most brilliant idea!"

When Kyoya finally becomes aware he is very confused to find himself in what appears to be an outlet mall. "How did I wind up here? I was sleeping comfortably in my own bed just a few minutes ago...no, wait...Tamaki was carrying on about some sort of exhibit. He had his heart set on all of us going, I think."

"Doesn't it sound fascinating? They're called 'expos' that's commoner lingo for 'exposition' products from all over the world are gathered under one roof so that underprivilaged people can cope with the emptiness of not being able to travel. That makes this the perfect oppotunity to better understand Haruhi, by allowing the host club to study commoners in their natural environment. You guessed it Kyoya, we're going on a field trip! Haruhi won't be joining us today, incidentally, as her presence might harm our credibility as impartial observers"

Kyoya glared at him from the bed, not happy to be woken up at all. "Oh come on, you can't just lie here in bed all morning! Today's the last day of summer vacation!"

Kyoya groans and sits up in bed "For your information, I was up until 5am you morons, which if you hadn't notice, makes me less than happy about being woken up" The host club backed up, shivering "Kyo-chan isn't much of a morning person huh?" Asked honey.

"You have nor room to talk"

"Hey what does that mean?"

"Okay enough with the commoner shtick, if you formulaic halfwits feel like wasting all afternoon on worn out old cliches go right ahead and suit yourselves" he falls back against the bed, almost immediately falling back asleep.

"Well, if that's what you want...you heard the man! Now lets dress him to the nines and head for the expo!"

"Oh right, that's how...it looks like I'm at the Izumi shopping centre, which isn't exactly within walking distance of home. Guess I'll call to have a car sent out" Kyoya reaches into his pocket which is when he realised that he has no phone or wallet on him.

A small boy runs into him "Wow sorry....uhhh mama!" he runs off. "Tamaki's a dead man when I get my hands on him"

"Kyoya-senpai?"

"Huh?" Kyoya looks to his left to find you and Haruhi, both staring at him confused by his presence, clearly in the middle of shopping. "I didn't expect to see you here today" you raise an eyebrow, knowing that this really is not his scene.

"How much money do you two have on you?"

You and Haruhi exchange glances "What?"

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Kyoya's Reluctant day out!

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"Kyoya-senpai, are you sure this is where you want to eat?" You ask, confused and concerned that he may be ill since normally kyoya would never been seen in a place like the fast food joint you were all currently stood in.

"There are much nicer resturants to choose from upstairs"

"Well you two don't have much on you so our choices are limited, just be sure to get a reciept, tamaki will reimburse you tenfold" He muttered, Haruhi clearly not being incredibly thrilled.

"Let me guess, he dragged you out of bed to do something even though you were up till five am?" you ask, haruhi hums in question "You can't possibly know that-"

"Yes he did" Kyoya grumbles, haruhi turns to you in question "I knew he had a business call over seas" You shrug

"Haruhi I think it's our turn, how do i order?"

"Oh, uh, here, i'll order for us, do you know what you want?"

"You pick, just get lots of it"

"I'll just get a cheeseburger"

Haruhi nods, turning to the cashier "Well okay, that and that one, both with fries, and a cheeseburger please"

"Okay coming right up, would you be interested in adding one of our delicious desserts?"

"Thank you, no, I don't care for sweets"

"Before you decide we have this new shake thats absolutely-" "I have given you my answer"

you sigh, quietly apologising to the cashier as you take the food to a nearby table. "Kyoya-senpai just beacuase you're in a bad mood today doesn't give you the right to go around talking to people like that"

"Poor girl was just trying to do her job"

Kyoya picks up his burger "Her job is to serve us food, not irritate me with some weak sales pitch" You make it an internal point never to pull kyoya out of bed unceramoniously if this grouchy mood is a result.

"What now?" you realise that Haruhi has been staring at him "I just don't think i've actually seen you eat before. Somehow I thought the experience would more refined" You raise an eyebrow as someone who has actually dined with kyoya before.

"That would imply that Kyoya would allow himself indulgence, that's more Tamaki's thing"

"Or yours"

"I just cook when I miss my home food, besides there is no shame in finding small joys once in a while"

"I'm just surprised food like this even appeals to you"

"It doesn't appeal to me in the slightest, no doubt you'll say I'm callous for admitting it, since you bought this tripe. There is an understanding between makers of food like this and those who eat it. Quality takes a backseat to convenience, refinement isn't part of the equation. It's meant to be eaten quickly, besides no one of consequence is here to witness my momentary lapse of manners"

You and haruhi don't reply, silently sipping your sodas refraining from commenting "Hey, for the record i'm saying it benefits me nothing to keep up appearances in a place like this"

Three girls approach you, or more specifically Kyoya. "Um excuse me, i'm so sorry to interrupt, if you're not using this chair can my friends and i borrow it?"

"Why not" Kyoya doesn't even look up, speaking through a sigh. "Thank you so much thats awesome!" you squint in confusion as you watch the three girls being far too gleeful at being allowed to borrow a chair. "You're quite welcome"

"You're probably wondering how Tamaki and I complement eachother so well, the answer is simple, I have something to gain. There is no better motivator than self interest. I have to look out for number one you know"

The explanation from Kyoya certainly was not squashing your doubt.

"Tamaki-senpai would be heartbroken if he heard you say that" Haruhi chimes in.

"Not really" you reply

"On the contrary he's understood our arrangement from the very beginning, the same goes for all of us. Kaoru-senpai, hikaru-senpai, Honey-senpai, Mori-Senpai, y/n. The glue that holds the host club together is out mutual egocentricity, its the principle that drives the alliance between our families and ensures each of our futures. Well, let's just say there's still quite a bit you don't know about that "

Haruhi turns to you "What do you have to gain from being apart of the host club?"

"My situation....is a bit more complicated"

"Although tamaki is a fool, and self sacrifice does come naturally to him. So I guess the point of this is, we are very different creatures"

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"Y/n senpai?"

Kyoya had walked ahead, looking through the stalls of the products expo, leaving you and Haruhi to talk. "Hm?"

"How do you and Kyoya...."

"Huh?"

"It is very clear that Kyoya senpai does not care for anyone but himself, how do you....have such a good relationship with him?.... Is it a relationship? because it's clear that there's something going on with you two "

your jaw hangs open for a second as you try to pull together the words for such an answer. "Is it that clear?"

Haruhi looks at you unimpressed "Y/n-senpai the only time I see him display any emotion at all it is towards you, you're always sat together at the club....you may hide it well enough that the rest of the school don't know but the club is convinced that the two of you are dating"

"Well...I won't lie and say that we don't have our faults but....in truth I think its because that we have an understanding of one another...."

You look at Kyoya, who is up ahead unaware of the conversation taking place "We've never really had the conversation of whether what we have is romantic, I don't think we really need one....it's just that after all this time it has become routine for us. I know that Kyoya is self-serving, I always have...but at the end of the day so am I. And within our self serving we know we need each other, which is why we look out for each other..."

You shrug "We aren't really the type for loud romantic gestures, that has always been Tamaki's thing. I don't really need the term 'dating' or 'girlfriend' because I don't think that is every what we will have or even want. There is just....us. I know it's a strange thing to understand but our way of flirting is basically scheming"

Haruhi shoots you a strange look "You've started to sound like him"

You raise an eyebrow "Have i?"

"I must admit y/n-senpai, I never have thought of you as a 'schemer' in the same way I do Kyoya senpai"

You desperately avoid laughing, if only she knew what the two of you had been up to. "That is because Kyoya and I are perceived differently. We always will be, no one trusts a calculated woman. And I need people to trust me to get where I want to. The truth is Kyoya and I are more alike than you may think, but I can afford to show more compassion because that is expected of me"

Haruhi hums "I suppose that makes sense"

You catch up with Kyoya "Black pearls from Ishigaki Island?" you note "odd to find them here given how much they go for" Kyoya adds. "You're kidding. Really? That's incredible. How can you tell?"

"We are products of excellent breeding"

"So, Kyoya-senpai, why is it that after all this time, I still know next to nothing about your family?"

The two of you pause although Haruhi didn't seem to pick up on it.

"Because there's really nothing for you to know about my family, at least nothing that should be of interest to you"

"Well, that seems to be a little bit unfair, don't you think?"

"Hmm?"

"I mean that when it comes to my personal life, you even keep tabs on who my father's friends from work are, while I barely have a clue about yours. So I call that unfair."

"That's a very intriguing notion, in it's own way"

"You've got two older brothers right? For starters, you could tell me something about them? What kind of people are they "

"Oh no" you whisper

"They are rather exceptional. Enough so, that my father puts a lot of stock in them. Though as the third son, things work out a little differently for me"

"I didn't realise there was so much pressure on you to succeed."

"Pressure? Oh no Haruhi, i can think of nothing more fun than this"

"It is as I said Haruhi, we thrive under the notion of scheming" you smirk.

Haruhi sighs, worn out at the idea. "When did you say this?" Kyoya raises an eyebrow, you can tell he is mildly concerned about the idea of you exposing your plans. "Don't worry about it"

"Dear me, pieces from the komatsu shoin collection. I never thought that I would find them here." you look over to an older woman at one of the stalls.

"Why madam you have an astonishing eye"

Kyoya squints at the scene before him "um...senpai"

"You know they have such an exquisite colour, don't they? To tell you the truth, I'm not really supposed to have these out on display . The bulk of the komatsu collection has been privately held for ages. Pieces rarely come up for sale"

You roll your eyes, the man was really laying it on thick. He's worse than kyoya during club hours. The woman fawns over the pieces.

Kyoya approaches the stall. "With all due respect, these are fake"

"Huh?"

"Hey, get out of here kid. What do you think you're doing?"

"The shade of blue is strongly reminiscent of shoin's work but looking closely around the base, you'll notice the colour graduation isn't quite dark enough to be authentic. That and the lacquer is too clear."

"That's enough of you, Mr. expert, i'll report you for obstructing my business"

Kyoya flips around the bowl to look at the base "Just as I thought, the brushstrokes on this seal are uncharacteristically broad as well. For your sake I hope you have a certificate, that is if you insist it's real"

The man starts to sweat "Of course it's real! I have the certificate at home!"

"Ah, the surely you won't mind if I call the komatsu family right now to verify your claim. My own family has had dealings with them for generations. It would only be a matter of minutes"

The man eventually gets escorted out, you shake your head with a slight smile on your face, for a man who likes to lay low Kyoya certainly has a flare for the dramatic.

"After everything you told me senpai, stepping in on a complete stranger's behalf seems a little out of character for you" Haruhi says.

"Hmm? Oh, that? Well now, she's hardly a stranger. You mean you don't know? Her husband is the CEO of a major electronics company. This is my first time meeting her personally but that ring on her left hand is unmistakable. My family has dealing's with her husbands family"

The woman walks over "Ah, one of the Ootori boys, and f/n's daughter as well, imagine running into you both incognito, the next opportunity I have, I'll be sure to take advantage of one of your famil's beautiful health resorts"

"We'd be honored"

A nearby stall catches Kyoya's attention "Hey haruhi did you know this?"

"Did I know what?"

"Is melon the preferred flavour among snack makers? It doesn't make sense, if the primary ingredient is corn, why go through the trouble of artificially making it taste like fruit?" the two of you laugh.

"That's an intriguing notion in it's own way"

"Oh was I being funny?"

"Earlier you were going on and on about how you and Tamaki-senpai are nothing alike, but what you just said then about the candy? It sounds exactly like him!"

"You think so? It does seem like something he nad the twins would fawn over. Very well I'll buy them. Haruhi? your wallet"

you place a hand over haruhi's as she goes to hand over her purse "I'LL buy them, haruhi got lunch"

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The three of you sit at a bench in the mall, taking a break from shopping. "Hey, senpai?"

"Hmm?"

"Why do you think that Tamaki-Senpai is always so eager to help people when they're in need?"

"You mean when there's nothing to be gained from it? Who knows?"

"So then when you help someone, how exactly do you benefit from it?"

"The way that I've always seen it Tamaki-senpai get's something more abstract from helping others. He likes to see people happy, one could argue it is because he doesn't like being reminded of certain hardships but it is not my job to psycho analyse him. For us it's...a combination of things, reputation yes, which can lead to connections that possibly make us money but there is something else..." You explain.

"Huh?"

"Attention shoppers, this is an announcement for a lost child. A little boy named Kyoya Ootori is lost inside the store. Repeat Kyoya Ootori is lost. His guardian, Suoh, is waiting for him at the second floor information counter"

"Oh no" you mutter.

"Kyoya is five feet eleven inches tall with black hair, and wearing perscription glasses" everyone around you begin to stare as Kyoya obviously matches the description. "That damn idiot, i'll kill him"

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You and Kyoya are sat in the car on the way back from the mall that evening "I never did ask, how did the meeting go?" you look over to kyoya, but also making sure that the driver cannot hear the two of you.

He smirks "Let's just say that we will be having a lot more early morning meetings in the future"

You smile "I see."

"You may as well drop us both off at the apartments" Kyoya speaks up to the driver, who nods.

Eventually the driver pulls up, dropping the two of you off as you enter the complex. "Do you have any more leads on this mystery between our two families?"

"Quite possibly, I must admit that it was slightly easier than I expected, a cover up can only cover so much" the two of you enter your apartment. "I see"

"But that hasn't been my main focus, finding out what my father is covering up for yours is useless to us at the moment. No one would believe two teenagers regardless our networks as is. So...I have been weeding through the board of directors, finding some weak points. Get enough on board then we can use the l/n media corporation to expose itself and the ootori group both at once" You hum out a laugh, stepping away to get a drink.

"Y/n?" Kyoya grasps your wrist, keeping you from getting too far

"Hm?"

He pauses for a second, but it didn't take long for him to pull you closer and into a kiss. Your body doesn't catch up to your mind for a second, mostly frozen up except for an arm thrown around his shoulder.

As soon as you realise exactly what is happening it ends, him pulling away slightly as he smirks at your reaction. You stare back at him with wide eyes "I..."

He laughs, stepping away. Heading to the fridge to fetch both of your drinks.

While he does so you still stand there, frozen, staring at him. 'i'm so screwed' you whisper to yourself.

Next time on patience 'Chika's 'down with Honey' declaration!'

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[devisopod]

Book of Bill Ramblings

If you don't want spoilers, I'd suggest you stop reading before the cut. This'll contain quotes from the book! I've avoided content and conversation about this thing like the plague, so I'm going in blind. This is gonna be a wall of text if you're on mobile. Have fun, if you're into that.

I'm gonna solve the ciphers by myself, so they won't be included here, it's more fun that way! This is all just my "analysis" or whatever you wanna call it.

|| PREFACE

I am an adult. I'm not here to argue or debate with anyone about the content of this book! I'm simply sharing my personal breakdown, so these opinions and statements are in no way meant to be taken as "the right way" to look at it. They're how I alone choose to view the text! I'm open to discuss it, if you want, like sane and civilized people. Heated arguments or grumblings fueled by the discontent that someone doesn't buy into the way YOU'RE perceiving a work of fiction is unwelcome.

Now.

Before I even had the book in my hand, I knew how I wanted to approach this. I had to keep in mind this is all meant to be written by the worst character in the series (from a narrative standpoint), and he isn't supposed to be pitied. So seriously obvious, I know, but it's THE most important factor to circle back to given ANY tidbit of information.

Since this is his point-of-view, which is such a skewed perspective to begin with, it's ultimately bound to be manic (and god was it). He's everything we already know him to be: out of his mind, a compulsive liar, a pro at manipulation, and literally so self-important. That's what makes it difficult to trust whether or not things that happened (or didn't happen) will be altered by his unstable state of mind.

I think I'd even go as far as to say that he's delusional in a lot of ways. No matter how smart he thinks he is, or objectively is, he's a highly flawed individual that is constantly sabotaging himself. And what's more, he doesn't CARE. Bill, while driven in his own right, is highly apathetic unless events or actions directly impact him significantly and negatively.

INITIAL AND UNCATEGORIZED THOUGHTS:

- Holy shit, it's like Bill prides himself on being some sort of "all-knowing" being, but he's really just a fat gossip.

- Bill says it and stresses it multiple times in this book that not only is reality not under your control, but you don't understand it. Only he understands it, and you're just too dumb. Nothing is real. But the universe is a hologram, and everything is also a multiverse. Dennis and Kyle hold our existence in a binder.

- As suggested, he is quite literally feeding you lies, and he's having fun doing it.

- So, Bill's kind of dead, but not really. He's existing in a "half life" state. "Descending through circles, battling demons, reliving [his] whole life... somewhere far away... where the music is always out of tune. Where everyone smiles but no one is happy". Sounds like a mall lmao.

Okay, we'll get into it. My back hurts.

1 || "SIXER, IT WOULD EAT YOU ALIVE."

Let me just start this by saying that Bill sees Ford as a possession. He spent a lot of time grooming him, so he feels HEAVILY entitled to Ford in an "I made you" sort of way. Which is just about as messed up as you'd expect it to be! Bill EXPECTS Ford to be okay with this and even functions under the assumption that Ford wants to belong to him, which is very likely a stem from how open to the relationship Ford was at the beginning. He's constant in sharing that he's grateful for Bill's influence and that it's made his life so much better.

That aside, Bill is repeatedly suggesting to the reader that people that hate him actually love him a lot. And it's so likely that some twisted line of love and being used was blurred between these two. I've said it before and I'll say it again: sharing a mind and a body with a seemingly god-like being is going to fuck you and your perspective UP, I don't care who you are.

After all, "the more people love you, the more brainwashed sheep you can bend to your whims! So CONQUERING HEARTS is one of the most important things you can do!"

While, Ford is an immensely strong-willed individual, he's so very weak to Bill's manipulation because Bill knows EXACTLY what he wants to hear. He's been learning and planning for this kind of thing for a very, very long time and using countless others to do so. So, his false loyalty and promises, though really suspicious to anyone else, appeal to Ford's ego and subconcious because they're specifically catered to him.

And this is where Bill thrives. He is extremely efficient at finding the selfishness within others and exploiting it because he is selfish. He doesn't care what happens as long as he reaches his goal. Any pain along the way isn't gonna be his, so why not just relax and enjoy it? And he's found his match: a "brilliant, morally ambiguous, and romantically challenged" individual. To him, Ford fits the bill (no pun intended), and no dumb Shaman is gonna scare him off this one. It's all a trick to keep him away from advancing his portal plans, right?

He emphasizes his excitement at the prospect of Ford's potential as a pawn by saying, "This is what a partner looks like. The ego of a king. The insecurity of a circus freak. And totally isolated from anyone who might steer him clear of my plans."

He's impressionable and gullible enough to follow him blindly in the name of discovery and arguably as a result of his alienation in the odd town that is Gravity Falls.

And that's where I think Bill's influence should be addressed. Bill's been whispering in Ford's ear, making his life easier, and "fixing" his problems by offering solutions that HE would use. That's the scary part, I think. Bill uses so many different types of flattery, even gives Ford a lot of confidence that he needs, which really feeds into Ford's trust.

2 || GUYS WITH BIG BRAINS GET ON MY NERVES

After seeing Stan on TV, selling the "Grifter", Ford starts to seem like he's having second thoughts about maybe calling Stan up. Bill is, naturally, quick to shoot this down by convincing him it's a waste of time.

With both Stan and Fiddleford, we see Bill kind of steering Ford away. It's clear Ford wants to be around both of them, but as Bill has already suggested, he wants to keep this one isolated. Ford's attention should ONLY be on him and the work that needs to be done. He's not gonna make the same mistakes he made with his previous puppets.

It's unclear whether Bill complicates things on purpose or not, but he certainly isn't interested in making them better.

As far as the relationship between Ford and Fiddleford is concerned (whether you view it as brotherly, romantic, or platonic), I think it had a lot of potential to bring Ford away from Bill, but Ford is just not equipped to be a solid and reliable partner at this stage of his life. He's too focused, too full of himself, and really desperate to fill the hole Stan left. Or maybe not desperate enough.

I've made this point before and I'll make it again: the vast majority, if not all of, the heavy lifting in the dynamic between Ford and Fiddleford IS DONE BY FIDDLEFORD. He is a very caring and loyal person, very much to a fault in this situation.

The Christmas gifts he makes Ford are very personal. Ford means a lot to Fiddleford, so much so that he doesn't see his family often and chooses to help with the research. Whether or not Fiddleford and Emma-May were already having issues can't be judged based on the information given, but it's possible that it plays a part in his absence. It seems like the most likely possibility to me, though. Fiddleford doesn't seem the type to just forget about something like that, especially exhibiting such a friendly and kind demeanor, so I'm willing to bet they were already having problems.

Ford, as I see it, very rarely goes out of his way to do things for Fiddleford, though. However, I will give him props for being good enough to cheer Fiddleford up after he returns from his family.

What I will say, is that Ford relies on Fiddleford a great deal, and I'm not entirely sure how healthy that is. Fiddleford is Ford's ONLY real friend, and definitely the only one not feeding him questionable advice.

Therapy.

3 || CUCKOO CLOCK

Therapy, right? Yeah.

Anyway, Bill REALLY gets after Ford when the whole portal thing goes south. And that's sure to be a hell of a time. Ford is put through immense pain physically and mentally during it all, and wow does it actually sound horrifying. Even during this aggressive and desperate scramble to get Ford to do his bidding, Bill is beating Ford down and trying his best to use his hardships against him while also trying to convince Ford that he needs Bill. He's got nobody else.

He tries everything: sabotage, threats, you name it. Even though Ford doesn't realize his wrongs entirely here, he still knows he has to do something to rectify all that he's done. And boy, does he wanna kill that triangle.

He even loses his mind just a little bit more about this time, grasping at straws and realizing how bad he fucked up.

But now, we skip ahead. Things are better. All that's passed.

The ending of this book was about as satisfying as I imagined it would be. The Pines family. Simple and clean. A thoughtful message from Ford, and some inserts from Mabel, Dipper, and Stan. Stan's message is probably my favorite, and rightfully so.

These four are what it's all about to me. Each sibling has the other, and they're all happy. Bill can't touch them anymore, no matter how much this book of his tries. They're smarter than he is, and it's because they don't intend to be divided by him ever again.

[stevesbipanic]

@steddiemas Day 23: "You were how old when you stopped believing in Santa?"

Steve didn't know how but he'd been volunteered as the one to take Holly to see the mall Santa this year. From what he'd been told Holly had practically begged Karen to let Steve take her. She was always his favourite to babysit so he really didn't mind, but he did get Eddie to accompany him. Thankfully, his boyfriend didn't mind and actually thought Holly was pretty fun since she liked to pretend to be dragons with him.

Holly had taken both of their hands once they arrived at the mall, insisting that they swing her as they walked towards the line for Santa.

"I'm going to ask him for a dolly that looks like you, Stevie!"

"Aw thanks Holly, but you can ask for any doll you want ya know."

"I know but I want a pretty doll like you!"

"Yeah she wants a pretty doll like you, sweetheart."

Steve smiled fondly at the pair of them and was hit with the desire that one day he and Eddie could take their own daughter to see Santa. They patiently waited in line until it was Holly's turn. Steve could confidently say she was one of the more polite kids he'd seen go up to Santa that afternoon. He watched as she smiled brightly at Santa, telling him what she wanted for Christmas and blushed softly when she pointed at him as she asked for toys. After the picture they went for ice cream and she was asleep by the time they dropped her home.

It was a good day, and the boys talked about how cute Holly had been when they got back to their apartment that night.

"She's a good kid, much better than I was at that age, I complained the whole way when Wayne took me, I had stopped believing in Santa by the time I got to him. Mom was good with getting me Santa gifts but after she died it wasn't hard to connect the dots," Eddie explained cuddling into Steve on the couch.

"You got further than me, I never even got a Santa photo, the Nanny did Santa for me for a couple years but when you're three and you wake up to your parents packing for a vacation without you and not a single gift under the tree it's not hard to work out that Santa was fake," Steve replied, and he could feel Eddie stiffen beside him.

"You were how old when you stopped believing in Santa?"

"Three, although I don't think I really believed much anyway, no one told me many Christmas stories."

"Steve," Eddie said in that tone that Steve had come to know as the one people used when he shared something that was sadder than he realised it was.

"What?"

"Just adding things to my list of reasons I'm killing your parents."

Steve laughed softly, "Good luck I think they've decided I was dead to them once they heard I moved into the town's local drug dealer."

Eddie had that look in his eye that he was planning something but kissed Steve before he had much chance to ask. He learned what it was soon enough when the next day Eddie drove them back to the mall.

"What're we doing here, Eds? We already did our Christmas shopping."

"You'll see, sweetheart."

They exited the car and Steve wished they lived somewhere that let them hold hands. But Eddie still found moments to brush against his side until they reached their destination.

"Why are we at Santa again?"

"You said you never got a Santa photo, well we're going to get one, together."

Steve turned to his boyfriend and smiled brightly, no one had cared about him in the way Eddie did, he felt loved wholly.

"Robbie is going to be jealous."

"She'll forgive me, we'll do one of the three of us next year, maybe she'll have asked out Vickie by then."

Their Santa photo took a proud centre space on their refrigerator and it became one of Steve's favourite.

Ao3

[lunaledragonet]

"Hey Mets, ever think of changing your name?"

"... My what?"

Sonic has his arms folded, pacing around Tails's house like usual. He does this when he's trying to decide what to do.

He doesn't often talk to his no-longer-metal doppelganger out of the blue. (Pardon the pun.)

"Well, you're not exactly made of metal anymore." He drapes himself over the back of the couch, where Metal Sonic - non-metal Sonic, who is still called the same thing even after months - is fidgeting with a Rubix Cube. It's frustrating. "I just thought you might wanna go with something a little more fitting."

He looks at him. The hedgehog clad in nothing but shoes and gloves meets the gaze of one wrapped in a yellow coat and angry black eyes.

"I want to be Sonic," the smaller of the two replies, out loud, since his hands are busy. The original grimaces.

"That'd get confusing pretty fast, buddy." He glances down at the cube, where not-as-clumsy claws are debating their next move. He points. "Turn that line to the side."

Those bright red eyes snap to him again, scowling. Regardless, he does what he says, and a small whirlwind of movement starts up again. "Where did this come from?"

"What, the cube?" Sonic asks, knowing full what Metal meant.

He hisses before his mouth can form the next set of words. "The name thing. I don't need a new one."

The taller one shrugs, standing up straight again and proceeding to bend so far backwards that Metal can hear his spine pop. Multiple times. "I mean, I guess you don't. Just thought it would be easier. Kind of confusing either way, if you keep being Metal Sonic when you're, like, your own thing now, yknow?"

He rolls his eyes. The clicking of the cube briefly stalls. "No. Not really."

Sonic almost laughs. "Yeah, you're still getting used to it, huh? No pressure." He heads for the door, flinging a hand up. "I'm headed to Sunset City. Make sure Tails doesn't think I'm dead."

Metal sits up straighter to look over the edge of the couch. It's a struggle, because he is unfortunately short. "Like you would just die out there. You'd be doing me too big of a favor."

"Haha, whatever you say!" Green eyes look back once again. "You want anything while I'm out?"

"Tails said that he was running out of his weird batteries."

"I know what Tails wanted- yknow what, I'll pick up your favorite."

"I don't HAVE a favorite!" The words aren't even formed before a blue blur leaves the door serenely shut, like no one was ever there. A single leaf floating downwards betrays that illusion.

Metal sighs and plops back on the couch, slouching as much as he likes. That was a lie. He does have a favorite- it's these straws made of cookies that he can sip water through and eat as he goes. Tails and Sonic hate it. He got the idea from Amy mentioning silly straws a while bsck.

Of course, he didn't know then that silly straws were simply shaped weirdly, and by then it'd been too late to stop.

He doesn't know why Sonic kept getting those if he makes a face at the habit every time. Eggman would've removed it entirely after a day.

---

Metal Sonic does not stop thinking about that suggestion. Changing your name. What a completely useless thing. A name doesn't change anything else about you. It might make crimes harder to pin, but he's not allowed to do crime. Not even a little bit of shoplifting. Sonic and Tails say he's being monitored too closely for any of that.

They've also said that, once the wariness from the government drops, they'd go and steal a bunch of snacks from a mall somewhere.

Regardless, that time is not now, and Metal is buried in blankets beneath a couch he can somehow squish himself under. One good thing about a fleshy body: It gives just enough to fit into spaces smaller than it should.

So he can just lay here for a while, thinking about whatever, and no one will bother him. He knows this, because the first time the brothers that took him in tried, they got bitten. A lot. Something about the small, dark space has him rationalizing less and acting on instinct more.

No one is home right now. He has this place all to himself. He chooses to remain squished under the couch, thinking about whatever.

... thinking about Sonic's suggestion.

He's never had an identity past being "Metal Sonic." Even after the incident that resulted in This, the inescapable fear of going back to what he was before it was the only thing that kept him running from Eggman. If he'd be caught eventually, and re-roboticized, there really wasn't any reason to change his designation.

There was a small part of him that knew, that insisted, that Tails and Sonic and every friend they had would never let that happen. He wasn't sure whether to listen.

It was a way to pass the time, though. When his legs felt too short to run, and his arms didn't reach as far as he'd like. When his body felt too small to do what he wanted it to. But, that is a tirade for another time, because now he is thinking about what Sonic said.

Sonic says a lot of things. This might be the most nagging one to date.

He is still somewhat mechanical. He can still access the internet, however flaky the connection might be. So, for some reason, he begins scrolling through name sites.

The choices are too much and overwhelming, and he stops after only a minute, looking at how long the page is and wondering what to do.

He remembers what Amy said about her time running the Restoration. "When there was too much work for me to do, I'd focus on what I knew I could do, first. The easier things were a way to get started, and then I could go for the rest once I was ready!"

Alright, so maybe something a little more familiar, then. Something he knew he could do.

Metal Sonic looks up names beginning with M.

---

Sonic does not come home that night, which is to be expected, because he started doing that less and less the longer Metal went without destroying everything in sight. Tails does, though. He passes by the living room, and when he is gone, Metal squeezes out from underneath the couch. He feels cramped. He feels hungry. One of those things must be taken care of before the other is.

He does not tell Tails about what he found, because Tails is busy, always busy, and he does not spend a lot of time in the kitchen, because the last few times he misjudged instructions and destroyed quite a few ingredients in ways they weren't meant to be destroyed. And a plate, which wasn't meant to be destroyed at all. Luckily, there are things he can eat without needing to cook them.

The attempt to look at names turned into thinking of what it would be like to be called by some of them, and then that somehow changed to pretending to be an entirely different person, like a disguise. No one would suspect a girl of being the infamous and murderous Metal Sonic, after all.

He does not think about it any more, and leaves the house when his body has sufficient fuel. He doesn't need to leave a note, because he has Tails's computer contact and can just send him a message. So he does that. And he is gone.

---

The duplicated hedgehog ends up by Amy's house, after several hours of running. It's late, but she's still awake- she often is when it's dark, and then sleeps in until noon after falling asleep at 4 A.M.

It's only midnight, right now. It should be safe to knock.

It takes a few tries, but she answers, and lets her friend inside. Metal is still smaller than her. He's smaller than everyone, except for Tails. She doesn't mind. She asks if he wants her to paint his nails again. He nods, because what is the point of having a girl for a friend if you can't do girl things with her?

He spends the rest of the night with her. She's awake longer than she usually is, for his sake, and he's grateful. The bright yellow coat is gone, replaced with a flowy orange skirt and a comfy green sweater. It confuses him, how some clothes(or lack thereof) are "boy" clothes and how some are meant for girls. He doesn't particularly care. They're nice.

Amy falls asleep on her bedroom floor at sunrise, and Metal is right there with her, yawning with a mouth full of sharp teeth and pulling a blanket over her. The two sleep past noon together, a bundle of fabric and pink next to a tightly-wound ball of blue quills.

---

A blue hedgehog wakes up, and for a second, she doesn't know where she is. There's a message requesting a check-in from two hours ago overlaid in her vision, and she very quickly sends a thumbs-up and a pink heart emoji before she gets up off the ground, and realizes she is alone in the room.

Footsteps descend the stairs to find a cold plate of pancakes and a greeting from a friend. It's still taking some time for the starting code to pull itself together, but in the meantime, a yellow-gloved hand waves back.

By the time there's a single pancake on a plate, accompanied by a fork and no syrup, Metal Sonic has remembered who he is again and wonders how he got his own identity mixed up with that of a dream's.

The pancake has fruit in it. It's good. Amy is a good cook. She downplays the compliment by saying she's only good at baking, and anything with less rigid rules makes her nervous. He's seen her make a quiche before, though.

He does not tell her about the dream, or the identity mix-up, because it would have confused her. He doesn't notice he's still wearing her clothes when he goes to leave an hour later, citing the worry people still have over his mere existence as a reason to get back to Tails's lab. She lets him go without saying anything over the stolen outfit. It doesn't fit her anymore, anyway.

On the way back, Metal somehow feels lighter than he did coming here.

[ragnarockz]

A+++ for editing this meme for the cause 😤🥰

Agnes and Alice help each other study for their quizzes, tests. They help one another out with assignments and homework. They're both smart (duh) and they don't mind helping each other out with school (that is how they met!)

Agnes was the first one to approach Alice in class; commenting on her biker jacket. They've been friends ever since

Agnes is someone who reads up on parenting books to try and find the 'right' way to do things (I mean, look at her relationship with Evanora - she doesn't wanna fuck this up!) And Alice, is someone who just helps mother Nicky by instinct or, things she remembers her mother and grandmother doing

Alice works part time at the mall during school. On her breaks, she'll run over to the children's clothing store to see if there's anything discounted to buy for Agnes/Nicky

Alice takes on the role as 'mom' with pride. That is how she sees herself now, as a second mother to Nicky

Sometimes Agnes and Alice joke about them being married; two moms with a baby

I can see Alice being more dominant sexually and romantically with Agnes and that just comes from her having more experience and Agnes really just wanting to know where she fits in with herself and with someone else

Agnes doesn't mind being submissive at all; she's glad to have Alice guide her, push her, challenge her

A lot of things Agnes is sexually into with Vidal (oh hey, girl!) stems from having been allowed to explore all of this with Alice

I can see Agnes not packing in her 20s or even mid 30s (I think that comes later in her life) but Alice? She's been experimenting with that while her and Agnes are living together. Agnes thinks it's the hottest thing in the world - it's definitely something she had to deal with (internally)

There are so many boundaries and habits that get pushed with Agnes - she has to unlearn a lot of things she was conditioned to believe wrong, impure, sinful, disgusting, weird

Alice loves fucking Agnes while Agnes is wearing her flannel shirts JUST so she can later steal said flannel and wear it around the apartment because it smells like Agnes

Also would be the first time Agnes starts getting into cologne (she was a rose scented girl before this and still is but hey...)

Agnes has this saffron orangey jasmine scent to her

Alice is more cinnamon clovey cardamom campfire scent to her

Alice will sometimes see Evanora in Eastview. Her hand always goes up to clutch her necklace her mother gave her. Hold her wrist where her tattoo is. She would die protecting Agnes and Nicky from Agnes' mother

Alice will say things that make Agnes stop dead in her tracks and re-calibrate her entire way of thinking.

"I wish I didn't have to wear such girly underwear."

"Then don't. You can buy boxers if you want."

Agnes.exe has stopped working

They both love watching horror movies, thrillers, crime. Alice has a soft spot for rom-coms though and she makes Agnes watch them with her; Agnes always gets bored and starts 'bothering' Alice until the two of them are just making out on the couch

"You're a tough nut to smash, Gulliver." "Isn't it crack?" (Agnes can and never will be able to flirt in her life 😂😭)

UNRELATED GIF BUT HEY LOOK⬇

[filthyloveforemesis]

With nothing much to do with my free time, I've been binging people's vomit stories and GOD the details are heavenly, my heart is racing. I've always wanted to share these stories somewhere so I'll just help myself.

I was in grade 4, waiting with my mom for bus to get home. One middle aged lady, her back turned to us, leaning against a wall was hunched. I was curious as to what she was doing, thought some bug caught her attention. Right after that I saw her stomach convulsing and after few seconds, a gush of yellow liquid came out of her. I was standing there in awe, finally realising that she's sick and is vomiting. I wonder how ill she must have been feeling and the exact cue her body gave that she knew she was going to vomit. The sexier part was, every wave was like waterfall and I used to think that if a lot comes up at once then it only takes few heaves to empty the stomach but that lady could fill the bucket with how much she vomited. The entire incident is etched in my memory as if it were yesterday. I sometimes fantasize walking up to her and rub her back, maybe feel her stomach. And oh my God, the noises of vomit climbing up. From loudest to the most silent puker, all of them are sexy ! I am always grateful to be around people who get carsick easily. That reminds me, there was another time I saw mother and son standing beside eachother puking in sync. Although I didn't get to enjoy watching the entire thing.

I surely am going to hell so I am going to confess here. I am dead scared when my mom is puking (scared that it may be indicator of some serious illness) but whenever I think back on it, I'm always turned on. And boy does she have a weak stomach ! I kind of wished I inherited her weak stomach but then again, the exact moment when the food started to crawl up my throat and there were no breaks in between the heaves and me internally pleading for it to stop because I can't stand the taste anymore, or how the chunks feel coming back up... I don't want to go through that. I sometimes forget what vomiting feels like since it's so rare for me, but puking 2 nights ago helped me reconnect (?) with the feeling ig. Now I can imagine the disgusting feeling more vividly and feel pleasure I guess.

My cousin sister has a weak stomach too, and would vomit every now and then, and boy does she make the sexiest of noises and face when she pukes (I wonder if I look like her when I puke, we look similar since our fathers look similar too ). I was physically present to witness her vomit thrice. The public bathrooms here smell horrendous, even the strongest of stomach would convulse at the smell. I have a habit of holding my breath so it wasn't a problem for me, but my sister on other hand, immediately started gagging. The first one was a trickle of vomit and the second gush was a fountain. She's vocal when she pukes, so that paired with burps when semi liquid vomit was coming up was magnificent! After she thought she was done, we started for the exit and then she stopped and said "I think I'll vomit" and right then started gagging and heading for the sink. God I wonder how much she had in store for her to vomit twice and that too in same huge amounts ! There goes twice and the third time was, she came over to our house for a sleepover. She'd continually complain about feeling nauseous and at times, slap a hand to her mouth but never gagged (but that too was sexy). Then in the evening, for a change of pace, we went out and hopped shopping malls. While we were on our way to return home, she'd constantly complain about nausea and then pause at times, placing a hand over her chest (although her big boobs got in the way). She'd swallow and stay there paused and then start moving again saying "I think I'm good".

Then who knows what took over her but she said "let's race to your house and see who's first". I won because right when she arrived near our gate, she paused again and pressed her hand on her chest (boobs really) and gagged with her mouth closed. (I wouldn't have known it was a gag if I hadn't seen her stomach convulsing). After standing like that for few seconds, she hurried towards the wall, leaned and gave the sexiest sounding gag I ever heard from her. It wasn't the typical same sounding gag but it was harmonious in the chaotic disrupted notes. And how the body caves in when stomach convulses relentlessly, she had hard time bringing anything up (she didn't eat much except sips of water due to being nauseous all day). I was there rubbing her back and holding her still as she violently heaved with only little splashes coming up. And the loud burps from the pit of her stomach every now and then was cherry on top ! If her husband is emetophile, he's the luckiest man on earth !

Oh God I remember so many more of these random instances (including mine) but I guess I'll stop indulging here and start doing something with my life. Thanks for the likes in my previous posts and also reaching out to me in dms, getting attention from same kind of people and getting to indulge in most desired way with same enthusiasm back sent me to cloud 9 😭😭💕 I'll start being active here from now on.

[sorry for my English, not a native speaker]

[sphaxcca]

My Candy Love New Gen Ep. 3 Review

Okaaaaaay so since this is my first post on here: Hi there! guess who's gonna give her unasked opinion about her Playthrough of My Candy Love New Gen? ME! ofc.

LET'S TALK ABOUT IT...

So i've finished playing the episode and honestly i'm starting to wonder how the plot is gonna develop during the story.

Until now ce can't really say that the story is growing but, I mean, it's completely fine because these are the first episode so it's pretty normal that there's basically nothing but just a presentation of the character and a little peak of their routes.

The episode was pretty chill and cute for some point of view, but my only doubt is about the speed of the storytelling, i really hope that with new episode the story's gonna grow in speed or in lenght of episodes because, for how is it now, it's gonna take forever to make a real "change" in the plot (especially for Jason's route candies like me) The idea of the welcome party was EXTREMELY cute also the "preparation" part was okay;

Amanda not partecipating at the party because Candy didn't choose the park had me turn up my nose honestly, but by the way she reacted the all time, i could have guessed it. She gives me a little bit of snooty vibes but i guess it's just the shell of the character.

ELENDA. oh my ELENDA. I hope with my whole heart that she's gonna be the new Rosalya because i need it. I genueine need a ray of sunshine like her in my candy's life when she's gonna sleep with the rival agency's boss :PPPPPP (The truth or dare part XD had me DEAD, i mean come on guys, you're almost 30 and you need a TRUTH or DARE game to break the ice? LMAO. )

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT THE CHARACTERS.

ROY. Can someone explain to me? Please don't tell me that the dare that he should have done was to kiss Candy and, because is dating Brune, he turned candy's head to kiss her on the check. Please don't tell me or imma GASP. At first i thought he was going to be the gym bro not interested in any dating or in date many girls at the same time, BUT THIS. BRUH unexpected. So i guess Candy in thi s case have to be Eric 2.0 of new gen. Love it. Let's sleep with another taken man!

DEVON. So I Honestly don't know what to say about him for now because i can't really say what's gonna be the issue with him. I Just really hope is not gonna be like Hyun route ( a full of nothing) because the character seems really cute, so please beemoov give us some tea or a plot twist. Something that happened in the episode that made me actually turn my head the screen was Candy saying (if you go to him at the Mall) "It seems that he doesn't want to be the Ceo" Maybe this is going to be the route?

THOMAS. I honestly love him and i feel like his entire route is gonna be Candy tries to make him understand what is to date someone. I also have a feeling (which would make totally sense) that Thomas is either authistic or he's part of that percentual of the populations that has an IQ higher that the others. L O V E I T TBH and it's a shame that i hvae to play two time the episodes because the outfit it's not the same for jason's route.

AMANDA Snooty on the outside but a marshmallow on the inside, i'm so sure of this. My guess here is that, girl's rich ass didn't say anything to her family that she likes girls. I just really hope is not the sme thing that happened with Priya because players dont wanna play things two times.

JASON. At last but not least, the enemies to lovers we didn't know we needed. what can I say? I have a huge love for Men who are so incure of themselfs that they put up this gigantic EGO (and not Confidence) to try to hide their real self. This going to be and Astarion (Bg3) route 2.0, I'M HERE FOR IT. Btw i'm pretty sure he seduced Danica to make her leave Devenementiel, this B, love him. At least he's not taken Candies....

what do you think? <3

-Sph

[crossover-enthusiast]

EXPLAIN YOUR CULT IDEAS AS MUCH AS YOU'D LIKE MY DEAR FRIEND

-📺 (ceaarl/gang-with-hatz)

YAYYYY THANK YOU SO MUCH @gang-with-hatz

(under cut bc. This got really long)

Okay so I already made a post about my ex-cultist Mr. Wonder theory so I won't go into that here, HOWEVER-

I'm going to ramble about this specifically because guys. Guys you're missing the prime angst with John's wife guys-

First I'm gonna get Actor out of the way tho

This one is mostly on vibes + clothes, plus him being the only character in SM 1 to not have any sort of major significance as of yet. Also him being a movie star goes with a lot of the cult having jobs/occupations related to things kids like, if Actor's in the cult his movies are prolly meant to target the older teens/adults instead

Also his eyes do the funny when he gets spooked by Ooga Booga in the first episode

Like genuinely Why Is He Built Like That

OKAY NOW ONTO JOHN'S WIFE

John and Lila have a lot of parallels: traumatized widows with a single child. Hope is dead, and John blames himself. Skid has frequently brushed with death in part due to Lila's irresponsibility. They both have a friend who's dumb and reckless but ultimately cares about them

So logically, this would mean that Lila's husband and John's wife would also have parallels, and if Skiddad's part of the cult, then...

I will absolutely admit this was just a silly crack theory/AU-- until I saw her photo from the ARG. It's just incredibly striking to me that the first photo we see of John's wife, the first acknowledgement of her period, has her with her eyes out of frame, not visible, just like Skid's dad. Her clothes, too, a cyan jacket with a dark green shirt and gold hairbands. It just screams cult to me

I'm not saying she was like, the cult's co-leader or anything, but I think she's involved, somehow. Imagine the absolute crushing irony there too, that John has spent so long trying to find out and stop the people that have taken his daughter, his home, his life away from him, only to find that his beloved wife was one of them. That'd just be soul crushing.

Also while I'm yapping I want to briefly touch upon Rick and Frank since I included them here too

I don't think Frank's in the cult. His literal entire thing basically goes against the cult since he actually gives the kids back... eventually. HOWEVER, I've been really warming up to the "undead Frank" theory, particularly the idea that the cult revived him ala Frankenstein's Monster to use him for their own purposes, but Frank still had his own mind (either metaphorically or literally) and fucked off because he didn't want any part of it (I would also like to thank @nonbinaryshotgunman for giving me that idea)

TLDR: he knows the cult exists, but doesn't know the members or what they want

Now for Rick... genuinely there's two ways I see it: either the comedic route where he joins the cult in the last episode as a "job", or the more serious/character focused route where he's a former cultist, and his depression and apathy stem from his time in it

I've just been thinking about it and like. He's worked for Evermore. He's worked at the Candy Club, which we now know is owned by the Candy Dealer. He's worked at the mall, which is a hotspot to sell Happy Fellas, which may or may not be connected to the cult. The only job Rick's had in the show itself so far that is 100% not connected to the cult is when he worked at the theater, and Radford more than likely helped get him hired

Somehow someway Rick keeps getting jobs that are in some way connected to the cult. I feel like it has to mean something. Plus again, main associated color is red, cult colors. Something I also find super interesting is that his toy counterpart in the SM 4 credits has gold rims on his shirt, which aren't actually there in his normal/casual outfit, implying his original design had them at one point but this got changed sometime before the TT merch ad

Okay I'm done yapping (for now). Thank you again SO so much I LOVE just talking about theory shit

[verosvault]

🚨SPOILERS FOR FHJY EP. 5-11🚨

1 theory and and an observation I made for FHJY from episode 7-11!

1. Yolanda Badgood.

I've been thinking a whole lot about Yolanda Badgood ever since we discovered what happened to her in episode 9. 🥲

She was like...my favorite teacher so I have the right to be sad! 😭

1st thing I wanna say is that...just cause I've been posting scenes from episode 7 but I'm fully caught up to episode 11 right now.

In episode 7. There's 2 things that happen that are alarming to me somewhat, and these are things that occur before episode 9 where we find Yolanda's body.

1. Kristen goes to talk to Yolanda about Lucy Frostblade but doesn't get a very high roll and uses a cursed Fig bardic to get more info from Yolanda about Lucy.

2. Kristen tells Yolanda about how Lucy Frostblade switched their deity and Yolanda said she was going to go talk to Principal Grix about it but Kristen said that talking to Grix wouldn't be a good idea, so Yolanda goes to talk to Jace Stardiamond instead.

I know that we assume that Yolanda died because of the events that occurred at Frosty Fair...and that very well may be. But I really doubt that the rat grinders had any kind of specific target just on "Yolanda". I think Yolanda died because she got "too close" or meddled with something she shouldn't have.

I definitely don't think the Rat Grinders had any type of beef with her? Unless maybe I'm wrong?

I don't fully know. Just because...well...if they did have beef with her, that is also Buddy's teacher but then again...I don't know exactly how much the rat grinders even care about each other as party members or how much they care about moving into a "pass-fail" type situation.

But then there's also the thing about Jace. Could Jace be involved with this somehow? Have the rat grinders been getting by so well because Jace is secretly supporting them behind the scenes? Did Jace have something or anything to do with Lucy? Wouldn't that explain something if Jace was maybe hiding that form of Lucy changing her deity and that's why Yolanda never even got it? Jace maybe never told her cause he didn't think it was necessary because he wanted to "cover this up"?

I don't fully know. I'm overthinking with my theories and I'm- 🥲

2. Baron and the Mysterious Voice

This isn't really a theory but more-so an observation I guess?

In episode 11, we discover the name of this dead god that is apparently Cassandra's spouse that she was in some kind of arranged marriage with. I'm a tad bit confused because in episode 11.

Baron says, and I quote: "The Nightmare King, very angry, once again in the arms of HIS loving partner. I think you should be very afraid Kristen Applebees, but not of sweet little old Baron from the Baronies. You have plenty of fish in your fish pot to fry with your fish oil."

What strikes me a bit weird about this is that Baron refers to the Nightmare King/Cassandra as "HE/HIS" and that's like...now I don't fully know because MAYBE this is a slipup on Brennan's part? It COULD be! I don't fully know. But I don't think that it is considering that Baron does have a "stark FATHER" which I assume is also in reference to the Nightmare King. Father being another term used under "He/Him".

So, then I went to go back to the mystery voice again that we heard at the end of episode 5 "Mall Madness".

And the mystery voice who I ASSUME is this "Ankarna".

This voice says, and I QUOTE: "SHE is at my side once more."

"Do you wish for divinity?"

"I shall give you a master you deserve."

There was ALSO RED, CRACKLING LIGHT when he opened that portal that "YES" came out of!!! 0_0

The voice continues to say to Kristen: "I am coming for you. And when I find you, I will break you in a way that none who loved you will recognize the ruin I have wrought. Lean your soul in closer, that I might give you more than words."

So this Ankarna seems to be VERY hostile with Kristen! If this is Ankarna speaking! Which, I ASSUME IT IS considering that Cassandra is BACK at their side! I don't want to assume Ankarna's pronouns. But, Cassandra is back at their side and when Kristen heard that voice, she said she wanted to try to mentally link with Cassandra but this is the voice she ended up hearing instead.

But what's a bit puzzling to me about this is how Baron refers to the Nightmare King/Cassandra as "He/Him" and Baron also mentions his "stark FATHER"! Another implication here of Baron using "He/Him" when talking about Cassandra.

But then Ankarna uses She/Her when talking about Cassandra.

I mean...it could be that Cassandra is gender fluid and goes by every pronoun??? It's just something I find to be interesting.. again...not any theory but just a cool observation that I've made. 😁

I'm trying to think about more theories as the show goes on but that's all I have for right now! 😂🤣💀

If I get another lightbulb moment, I'll post about it later! 😂🤣👏

[sugolara]

Lost

ft. K.B x S.T x I.M x fem! reader

Synopsis: After a deadly virus leaks all over the world, every country is forced to close down it's borders and airports to prevent anyone from coming in and out. Though, it's to late for some people. The dead has rose and is looking for revenge. Cw: gore, quirkless! au, apocalypse! au, zombie! au, weapons, death, angst, lots and lots of blood, cannibalism, suicidal thoughts, slow burn

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Closing the door behind them, only F/n separated from the males as she headed off to replace her worn out boots and clothing. Since it wasn't a sporting store, shoes were only available though she didn't mind as she figured it would be best to have a change of style—at least in what covers her feet. After that she took a quick glance at the males and changed out of her clothes when they weren't looking her way. Lastly, she grabbed a new jacket with quite a few pockets than the average jacket.

Done being dressed she wandered around the store, letting the boys—who also looked her way—finish doing their business. There wasn't much to be useful, but she did enjoy messing with a few children toy, however, that only lasted a few minutes as she grew bored. Placing that aside, she checked her gun that hung on the holster around her right thigh. Thankfully, the chambers were full.

"Let's go, F/n." Izuku softly shouted at her as to not alarm the dead. At the call of his voice—and name—she headed off for them as they used the backdoor to exit. Cautiously looking both ways, they entered the alley where brick walls of buildings surrounded them.

"Where do you think a nearby grocery store is?" Izuku asked, looking at the map that peeked from Katsuki's bag, "It looks like we're in an outdoor mall so maybe one should be close by, right?"

"If only someone hadn't lost the bag of supplies we would have been stocked..." Shoto drew out and though he didn't specify who, they all knew it was F/n as she was the last one to hold them.

"What's your problem?" She glared at him, "Did you forget I was running from the hundred of dead that could have mauled me to death if I wasn't paying attention? I guess you did since you were the one to fuck up the whole plan and have me and Izuku separate."

"Even if that was my fault I would have expected for you to be aware." His eyes narrowed at her, "Isn't that who you're supposed to be? I guess you forgot and thought to blame me because you can't keep up with who you are."

"You think you know?" She tried moving to him, but with Izuku holding onto her wrist made her unable to. The last thing he wanted was for a fight to break out and it was astonishing that it wasn't Katsuki and Shoto fighting like in the high school days.

Thankfully, or not so thankfully, the sound of a vehicle roaring by them had caught their attention. Quickly, did they duck down in hopes their figures would be less seen, though it was hard to tell rotter and human apart these days.

"You think it's one of them?" Shoto asked, referring to the camp.

"Better not be." Katsuki bitterly said, his ears listing close to the vehicle, "If it is, then they've been following us for a while."

Standing to their full height, they cautiously proceeded. The freckle male hummed at Katsuki's comment, "If they were, they would have killed us long ago. Why wait it out when we destroyed their community?"

"Because there sick and twisted fucks." F/n shrugged. She long forgotten about the argument with Shoto and while Shoto did remember, he wasn't really in a mood to put up with her. Afertall, he was trying to rekindle their relationship even if it would go nowhere.

"They're probably playing around until we get off gau-Shit!" She yelled as her foot had suddenly collapsed. She hissed when her foot scraped against the concrete and upon seeing as she stepped on a manhole with her leg getting stuck, the sound of Katsuki's laugh reached her ears.

"Dumbass!" He barked out, clutching his sides.

"Shut the fuck up before its your face eating shit next." She gritted out, seeing a couple tears pool on his closed eyelids, but Katsuki didn't care as he carried on.

"Kacchan..." Izuku pulled her out carefully as his eyes gave his friend a disappointed look, "She scraped her ankle. She could be bleeding."

"As if!" He said and let out a long sigh that helped relieve his cackles.

"Stop or you'll attract anybody near us." Shoto huffed and rolled his eyes, continuing on without them, "Children, I swear."

"Moving on!" Izuku chimed out, happily helping the girl on her feet then following after the bi-colored male, "We should go the opposite way of the car. We have no idea how many people or who it is were coming across. That said, we'll continue with our original plan."

And they did for the past hours, going into stores that contained food even if they were just snacks. Luckily, they managed to find at least water and snacks to keep their energy up. It wasn't long until dark hit and they were left without any light to guide them. Keeping aware of their surroundings and how much noise they let out, their eyes search for a vacant building that didn't have too much damage so they rest.

But tonight had different plans for them as a shriek startled them. Quickly they ran after the noise thinking it might be one of them from the camp. They didn't need someone following them to what could be a place to live forever. With weapons out, the cries got louder and when they arrived, only Katsuki and F/n kept their weapons raised at the sight. A male who appeared the same age as them had broken its leg, bone sticking out of its calf, clutching as blood squirted everywhere. No doubt it was painful, but if he didn't keep quiet they would meet a much worse situation.

"Dumbass fell off the roof." Katsuki said, eyes looking to the roof of the building where it seemed like the male had slipped on slippery roof slab, "That's what you got for thinking you can jump roofs."

The boy whimpered, trying to get up, but with the blonde pointing the gun at him the injured male knew to stay down, "You better stay down there. Who the hell are you anyways?"

"I-I wasn't following you or anything! I swear!" He yelled out with pained grunt.

"Kacchan." The freckle male rested his hand on his friends, putting the gun down.

The blonde merely rolled his eyes, though placing his gun back on his holster, "Who else is with you?"

"Like he'll tell the truth." Shoto pointed out, looking at F/n, "Tie him up somewhere or get this over with."

"Alrig–" Izuku interrupted her, hands near her gun so as to not shoot. He furrowed his brows at her, "No! No! We aren't doing that! We'll just take him with us!"

Katsuki scoffed, "And have another mouth to feed? We can barely find shit for just the four of us. And you want another?"

"He's right." Shoto crossed his arms, eyes looking at the freckle male hoping he'd understood, "Just let it go."

A glare was set on his freckled face, "Are you kidding me! I thought you two would at least understand!"

"We do." Shoto shook his head at his friend, "It's you who isn't understanding."

"Pl–" The boy whimpered out when the blonde stepped on his other leg to keep him quiet from saying anything. Whatever words were to come out from the injured male were sure to get to Izuku and while Katsuki did want to save him they couldn't afford another person in their group, especially an injured one. The kid was dead weight and he'd get them all killed. Besides, who knew what it took to heal a leg with its bone sticking out.

Instead of continuing to think of what's wrong, he searched the male's clothing finding a set of keys, "What's done is done."

"Seriously!?" Izuku scoffed out, eyes narrowed as he looked at Katsuki, ignoring Shoto who looked at the rotters coming nearer and ignoring F/n who had already made up her mind on what to do, "Just because the world went to shit doesn't mean we have to! We're people for crying out loud, we don't kill and we still have our humanity! Its the only thing we have left in this fucked up place and you know this is wrong!"

"Humanity!?" The blonde scoffed, standing up as he glared at his childhood friend, "Where the fuck was humanity when those people who kidnapped you tried to fucking kill you!? Not only that, but they tortured people! You think they got humanity because they're human!?"

"Guys." Shoto tried to intervene, but his words were deaf to the arguing males.

"There is no damn humanity, Deku! Fucking face it!" He jabbed the freckle males torso, "Quit living in a fucking fantasty and wake up! If you keep thinking that everyone we come across are good fucking people then you'll be the first to die and I fucking guarantee it, just you fucking wait! Stop thinking in the past or else everyone you know and love will die because of your stupid belie–"

The sound of a single bullet emitting through the wind startled them. As tired as she was, she didn't care that she broke probably a ton of rules that kept her from staying—besides, she kind of had forgotten most of them. Nevermind that, she placed her gun back to where it belonged, ignoring the boy who had pleaded for life now dead as her tired eyes strayed from Izuku to the blonde, "It's night and we're all tired so we should find somewhere to sleep."

She didn't bother waiting for them as she grabbed the keys from the blonde's hand, looking for the vehicle. She disregarded the look Izuku gave her, most likely a betrayal that she had just killed someone. And while he did feel an immense anger coursing through him, he swallowed thickly, shoving that down as he followed behind.

Then did Katsuki, though his thoughts had swarmed around his childhood friend. 

[v-era-18]

Red Licorice

Chapter Three: A Dead Girls Diary

“We don’t need them. It’ll be me and you against the world,” -Casey Beker

June 14th 1996

I know I'm supposed to start out with Dear Diary, but that's for basic bitches as Tatum would say-that dumb redhead.

Today my mother gifted me with another diary to write down my feelings after my break up with basketball player Paul Mathews. We had been dating for over a year, had gone on several dates, I cheered at all his games and wore his jersey blah blah-. She thinks I took it hard but in reality, I was more appalled with the reason why for the breakup. From what Pual’s sister had confessed, it was because he didn't like me at all-and was using me to get to my best friend (Y/n) (L/n).

(Y/n) is my best friend, I love her so much! Not only is she super smart but she's insanely pretty too. The only problem is she never believes it whenever someone tells her how beautiful she is. Hence why I wasn't hurt with the fact that Paul fell for (Y/n)-I understood why. She's like a beacon of light that you want to be covered in each day, from the way she laughs with a wide smile to the way she enters the room warming the space around her.

Long story short, many guys have come up to me and asked me how to ask her out before, and you know what I did as a good friend? I told them to get lost and they could kiss my ass! All of the boys at our school are practically dogs, (Y/n) needs a boyfriend that actually cares and likes the things she's interested in.

Take Randy for instance, he would be a perfect match-

(The rest of the sentence was crossed out)

On second thought, she doesn't need any man but me.

June 17th 1996

Okay Diary, I know it's been a minute since i've updated you on what's going on, but long story short-Tatum has lost her damn mind! Not only did she decide to sleep with my ex boyfriend Paul but there's a rumor amongst the other cheerleaders that they had been sleeping with each other for awhile behind my back! The absolute nerve!

(Y/n) told me I should let it go and possibly find another boyfriend who really cares about me the way I should be treated. She even went out of her way to watch a marathon of Rom-com videos with me to cheer me up. Not only did she cook me my favorite chocolate cake but she also made sure we did our nails. She even let me put color to hers-although she wouldn't let me do pink, but I didn't mind.

I am a bit jealous that Stu and Billy have been trying to get her to watch horror movies with them alone. I find it really weird how the two of them since we've been kids have always insisted that it has to be the three of them to enjoy the movies. But the jokes on them! (Y/n) has been spending all her time with me, Sidney and that bitch of a redhead.

Who needs boys when you have girls instead.

OMG I just got the greatest idea on how to get back at Tatum!

I'll keep you in the loop with my devilish diary!

Xoxox,

Casey

June 27th 1996

You'll never believe what happened today! My plan to get back at Tatum worked! Well not actually but indirectly.

You see Tatum has a huge crush on Stu Matcher, the dumb trouble maker (Y/n) always watches horror movies with. The bright side is that he's hot and is known for making all the girls melt in our school. I honestly didn't get what Tatum sees in him-but it must be something since she keeps ranting and raving about it during our sleep overs.

(Y/n), Sidney and Tatum came with me to the mall to do a little shopping, and Stu and Billy just so happened to be there looking for god knows what. They simply insisted on tagging along and the whore was more than happy to give in. It seemed to make (Y/n) uncomfortable with how much Tatum was flirting with Stu-I put it together that she simply hates public displays of affection. That's how it was when Paul was around.

Eventually Sidney and Tatum decided to head off in the lingerie store and decided to drag (Y/n) with them-knowing that my friend hates men seeing her in there. I was about to take along and make suggestions when Stu stopped me, the boy was straightforward with flirting-and I hated how easy it was for me to fall for his sly smooth words. I would be mush if I honestly found him perfect, but the amount of times he's followed (Y/n) around like a lost puppy freshman year screamed otherwise. So I played the game-remembering I had a score to settle with Tatum, and soon enough we were in the public restroom getting busy.

I won't lie-he was good. No wonder he broke so many hearts and had ex’s demand to get back together with him.

It wasn't long after the mall that he asked me on a date-a bit backwards don't you think? I guess I was a very good lay for him-my efforts paid off though, he only paid attention to me in spite of Tatums efforts.

During the whole time, (Y/n) did not speak to me, I could tell something was wrong due to her forced smiles and lack of conversation. Especially when Billy mentioned the new horror movie coming to theaters that he and Stu wanted to go see with her. I even asked to join, but she acted docile during the whole conversation.

I felt as though I made a deep mistake of some kind. And it really bothers me.

July 2nd 1996

I fucked up. Really bad.

(Y/n) has been avoiding me, and each time I invite her over my house she always says she has to help her Aunt out with something-which is bullshit because her aunt works her ass off at the hospital 24/7.

I have been spending a lot of time with Stu lately, but we either are having sex or he wants to watch horror movies. Sometimes I simply just stare at the scream lost in thought as to why I wanted to continue this relationship. I mean the sex is good, don't get me wrong and it feels like a victory to continue tormenting Tatum with our relationship, but it didn't feel right to keep doing this if my best friend isn't around.

I told Stu about my concerns with (Y/n) only for him to ask if he should talk to her about it, it was the way that he asked that quickly threw me off. I then proceed to ask about their friendship and how they often hang out with each other. He tells me they haven't interacted as of late because of me, and asked me to ‘politely’ stop getting in the way of their movie time together.

We had a huge fight about it. I didn't like the way he said it so casually that he wanted her there with him rather than me. We ended up having sex an hour later-but it didn't feel right. It was odd, Stu seemed to be hate fucking me one minute then caressing and telling me how sorry he was.

Once he was done he looked at me for a long moment, it was like he was trying to see me as someone else-I had seen that look before with other boys who loved someone else. Whatever spell he was under he snapped out of it before kicking me out before his parents got home.

I’m so lost.

July 4th 1996

(the page was torn out with leftover teardrops)

July 7th 1996

Me and (Y/n) had a heart to heart. It was jealousy - something that we both never in terms felt within our friendship. I know her, she’s not the type to get jealous unless she truly liked or felt for the person she was looking at. And even then-there wasn’t many that she looked at-from my knowledge anyway.

We spent the rest of the afternoon together watching movies on her living room couch. It felt good to be in each other's good graces again, afterall my life just seemed out of place without her in it. Watching horror movies, going shopping, or simply walking in the town square didn't do it for me without her by my side. There was one part in the movie where I watched her laugh the hardest she's ever done, her smile warmed me up inside, my heart hammering miles per minute.

When it came time for my mom to arrive, I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay. To hear her laughs and have her stay in my embrace longer. The bed in my home feels colder-missing the warmth on the other side of the mattress.

July 13th 1996

I'm scared to share this, but I've been rewinding last night's dream in my mind for the past three hours straight. It was nice at first, it seemed like every other day, I was over (Y/n)’s house horror movie in the background with the air blaring to life. The one thing that seemed weird was how close we were, she was laying on my chest covered in a blanket as I played with her curls.

It was comfortable, until (Y/n) leaned up and kissed me, not a quick peck but a slow passionate one. It wasn’t like the many empty ones I had given in my past relationships, it meant something. I could feel it-the love the joy my best friend was giving me. What shocked me the most was the fact I was kissing back taking the lead-dominating her entire being as I watched her melt in my grasp.

Soon I was on top of her kissing down her neck, stripping her of her clothes and sucking her breasts. I enjoyed it, the sight and the sounds she was making pleased me. It was different taking control but from how I was acting it was as if I had known how to do this my whole life.

I’ll never forget the way she moaned my name as I gave her orgasm after orgasm on the couch-her cunt practically dripping wet with her own thighs coated in her mess. Her eyebrows pulled together in ecstasy with her brown circles of breast on full display-arching into the air. It wasn’t long before we both finished, the aftercare was something I noticed I prioritized. I made sure she took a shower and was fed before taking her to the room to sleep.

It just felt right. No guilt. No thoughts about boys and their rough nature. Just the two of us. One embracing the other.

July 20th 1996

Distractions are what I found myself needing each night, and lucky enough for me there were plenty in Woodsburror. But with the many times I ended up underneath Stu I couldn't get her out of my head. Her moans and sweet utterance of my name against my lips, the same lips I found myself sucking the dick of the same man who had a secret attraction for my friend.

I know right-when did that happen.

It was the other night when I was with Stu in his truck, I had a slip of the lips and moaned (Y/n)’s name. I really hadn't meant to, but the way Matcher had stopped everything was telling enough-he didn't like the fact it was her name I had said. He had stopped initiating sex with me that night-even though he was still on hard.

I asked him if he was going to tell anyone what had happened. He said no, and instead offered a proposition. At first I was a bit scared to know what it was, but thought I didn’t have much of an option-I didn’t want my secret getting out.

He wanted a threesome between (Y/n) and Me. I immediately looked at him in a mix of shock and utter disgust. To get out of it I immediately mentioned that she was a virgin still-he countered it saying that he would be her first. The way he said it was weirdly full of warmth and affection. It twisted my stomach into knots and made me question how authentic was the relationship we currently had. The way he said her name-from the way he promised not to use her-to be gentle all the way through.

I hated it. I hated him. I never wanted to get out of a truck so fast in my entire life.

To get out of the conversation I lied and said I would think about it. But obviously-I'm thinking of a way to end this.

He wasn't going to touch (Y/n). Not on my watch.

July 27th 1996

Cheating isn't something to be glorified, ever. But damn did it feel like a weight off my shoulders when I heard of Tatums whore ways.

The new rumor amongst the cheerleaders this week was hot! Half the squad was over Autumn’s house when the ball was dropped about what the team captain had seen the other day on her way to Blockbuster. Apparently Tatum had invited Sidney and (Y/n) along on their blockbuster run knowing that Stu and Billy would be there. At first I was a bit upset (Y/n) hadn't told me anything about it-but the gears started turning once Autumn said Stu had ignored Tatum the entire time, his attention solely on my best friend.

It was confirmed with a simple sighting and interaction with the two, Stu didn't want me or Tatum. He wanted (Y/n). And in his own twisted way of trying to get close to her he was using us (her friends) as a gateway.

I don't understand. He had more opportunities to date her from the beginning, they were practically inseparable since they were kids-especially in middle school. Billy soon added to the mix not so long after his mother wasn't as present anymore.

You're probably wondering where the cheating part had taken place right? Long story short, our team captain-Abigail- had saw Stu fucking Tatum against the wall of an alleyway next to the store. It was embarrassing, not only did everyone give me sympathetic looks, but they all knew about what Paul did. It was the same thing happening twice in the row-(Y/n) being tossed in the mix.

I played the part of the sad grieving girlfriend very well, maybe it was because through the irony of it all- I didn't care about the fact the boys didn't want me. I cared about the fact they wanted (Y/n). They wanted my best friend-the girl I wanted all to myself.

I don't blame them for falling in love with her though, after all. I did it myself.

August 1st 1996

Today was cheerleading practice for the new school year along the day football players start preparation for the upcoming football season. Most of the time while we were coming up with cheers on the sidelines, the fresh new round of quarterbacks would hoot and holler for our new uniforms.

I'll admit, they were very sexy. But I really couldn't get my mind off of me and (Y/n)’s sleepover last night. She had simply fallen asleep on my chest, her silk nightie rode up at the bottom leaving her lace painties in view. I was quick to pull the dress back down-but my mind had wondered if I had proceeded things differently.

My parents weren't home and it would've been the perfect opportunity. But instead I was too scared of what she would say or the possibility of ruining our friendship.

My kicks and flips were the worst it had ever been throughout practice and the other girls could tell. And much to my embarrassment they thought it was because of Tatum messing around with Stu. As if I could care less what that whore did with my lay! And the bigger fact of the matter is Stu dosen’t even want Tatum either-hes just fucking her till he gets bored.

I couldn't do it anymore, I was sexually frustrated. From the pent of feelings for my best friend and the fact Tatum continued to pretend she didn't keep stabbing me in the back over and over again.

I had noticed Steve staring at me throughout his drills, and decided to call him over once me and the girls took our two hour break from practice. Seducing him wasn't that hard-it was obvious he thought more with his dick than his own head.

The locker room was thankfully deserted giving us enough time to get an hour of pleasure in. The poor boy took it the wrong way and thought I wanted to go out with him-it wasn't a bad idea though. Steve was cute and had a lot going for himself, and seemed somewhat of a decent guy, plus it gave me an excuse to dump Stu.

I can only hope he doesn't get too angry about it down the line.

August 7th 1996,

Okay so the breakup didn't go as smoothly as I had hoped-but it was better than I had originally had expected.

Stu wasn't as furious about the breakup as I thought he was going to be, he only seemed a tad bit frustrated with something I couldn't understand. Even with the many accusations I had tossed his way about screwing Tatum and wanting (Y/n) all for himself. He seemed only focused on the fact that (Y/n) wouldn't be around that much anymore-he has a serious problem he needs to solve.

And I told him that. (Y/n) isn't his-and she never will be.

That's what started it-the rampage the boy went on. I had never seen Stu so livid from just telling him he couldn't have her. The one girl he wanted. He did not place his hands on me or anything but kept screaming for me to get out of the house. I did leave in a rush, afterall I had my current new boyfriend outside waiting to comfort me.

But when the news broke out, things started to flip upside down. I think the only person that was disappointed in me was (Y/n). She couldn't believe what I had done-cheating on Stu with Steve and causing such drama amongst the group. In my opinion I had done nothing wrong-it was Tatums fault for fucking Paul then going after Stu while we were in a relationship.

I didn't understand why she was taking Stu’s side either, it hurt hearing she didn't want to lie to him and say I didn't do what I did. Or how much I hurt him.

I lost my temper. I'll admit it, yelling at her wasn't the way to go. And I might have said something I wasn't proud of. But it was how I felt at the moment- she didn't need to worry so much over Macher if she was MY friend! If she was MY everything!

But that's the thing she's not mine. But she should be.

August 12th 1996,

Today was the first day of school, my senior year. One semester away from saying goodbye to these bloodsucking vermin in the dust once and for all. Mom wished me luck this year, we had a long prayer at the breakfast table for scholarships and hopefully a bright future ahead. The only thing that seemed out of place was the empty chair beside me; (Y/n)’s place at the table.

This was the first time she wasn't over for the first day of school with me. We usually had sleepovers the night before, gossip-made bets on what's going to transpire but no-I had made the ultimate mistake of yelling at her and degrading her for voicing her opinion.

I called her Stu’s whore.

I didn't mean it of course, but it was something I said to hurt her-the last thing I had wanted to do.

The first day of school was okay, it turns out I have a few classes with (Y/n) and Sidney, fortunately I don't have any with Tatum ,Stu or Billy. But Randy is in my science and history class. Randy wouldn't shut up talking about how cute (Y/n) looked today, and I couldn't shake the feeling of jealousy as many men in the school watched her up and down the school halls.

She wore her hair up into a high afro ponytail, swirls of her hair laid upon her head. I couldn't help but stare at the loose flannel-her shoulders were bare, and she wore some jean shorts with some beat up converse. During class I couldn't help but stare, even with Sidney encouraging me to speak to her I couldn't. And I felt as though if I tried talking to her about it something else might have transpired.

I couldn't tell her my feelings for her. What would my parents say? Not to mention the whole student body. Being gay in this town isn't uncommon but many people, especially adults are old fashioned. Last time I checked (Y/n)’s Aunt even had something sly to say about girls viewing each other's bodies if they are not family.

I can't win. Not if I leave this hell hole and start anew.

Would it be a possibility that (Y/n) would come with? Come with me to start a new life away from all of this? I would let her watch movies whenever she wants and help her through school.

I want her dreams to become a reality. I want to be there every step of the way, to see her on that red carpet of the movie she makes. The series of horror movies that would have the world in a chokehold.

I want to be that wife, her holding my arm as she waves shyly to the cameras for me to beam down at her in pride.

I would give her everything Stu couldn't and more!

August 13th 1996,

I can't believe Tatum had the nerve to try to give me advice to please Steve in the bedroom! For her information Stu’s so obviously pretending she’s (Y/n) while fucking her brains out. The worst part is everyone knows about Tatum and Stus relationship now, not that they're a fan of it-it's just new gossip.

Apparently (Y/n) didn't like the relationship, that's what Sidney said. But I don't understand why. Everytime Stu gets into a relationship with someone (Y/n) says it's not a good match- or both parties deserve better.

It's almost like she wants him-

(The page was torn off halfway)

August 15th 1996,

(The page is filled with many crossed out words and x’s making it illegible to read) (It was almost as if she couldn't bare to process what she was writing)

August 17th 1996,

I couldn't take it anymore! I had to talk to (Y/n) and make up with her! These past few days of silent treatment were getting to me. Not only has Tatum noticed, but Sidney as well. It was embarrassing to know that her other friends have been asking me what's going on when I've known her for the longest. They don't even care about her as much as I do!

But it's not just my feelings for (Y/n) that have been consuming my thoughts lately. I've been struggling with my sexuality, and it's been eating me up inside. I've never told anyone, not even my best friend, about the way I feel. It's like this big secret that I'm carrying around, and it's starting to feel suffocating.

I know that (Y/n) would never judge me, but the fear of rejection and the unknown terrifies me. What if she doesn't feel the same way? What if she thinks I'm weird or gross? I can't risk losing my best friend, but at the same time, I can't continue living this lie.

The looks that Stu and Billy have been giving me lately only make things worse. It's like they know something about me that I don't even know myself. I feel like a fraud around them, like they're constantly judging me.

I don't know what to do. I'm so confused and scared. All I know is that I can't keep living like this. I need to talk to someone, anyone, about how I'm feeling. But who can I trust? Who can I confide in?

For now, I'll keep my secret to myself and focus on repairing my friendship with (Y/n). But I know that this is something that I need to address eventually.

Of course she was reluctant to talk but I had bribed her to let me in with three packs of her favorite popcorn and of course five packs of licorice. She took the popcorn and candy and allowed me to have an hour to say what I wanted to say before I was asked to leave.

I understand her anger. We've been best friends for years, and I called her such an unforgivable thing because I was jealous of the attention she was giving Stu. I felt terrible, and I told her everything. I apologized and begged for her forgiveness. I could see the pain in her eyes, and I knew I had hurt her deeply. But thankfully, she eventually forgave me, and we hugged it out. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

But now, I'm left feeling guilty about how I treated (Y/n) and how I let my jealousy get the best of me. I need to work on my insecurities and learn to communicate my feelings better. (Y/n) is my best friend, and I never want to hurt her like that again.

August 31st 1996,

(This entry was ripped out aggressively to what seemed like not too long ago.) (investigators eventually found the entry locked in a secret chest underneath Becker’s bed along with her previous diaries and most treasured items.)

September 8th 1996,

Slowly but steadily I've been getting closer to (Y/n), we've even started making plans on what to do for Halloween! It's her favorite month. All the decorations, costumes, and of course the horror movies. She did seem a bit down today when I mentioned dressing up together as playboy bunny girls, clearly she was expecting something more her speed.

I know-I know what you're thinking. Why would I want to dress up as a playboy bunny costume when (Y/n) clearly wants to dress up as a slasher? Well it's simply because it gives me an excuse to have her wear something revealing all night, and second she's a slasher every single year.

It's time to do something different. No more bloody (Y/n). Instead we'll have a super hot one instead.

In the end she said she would think about it, but with the way she looked over longingly at Stu and Billy; maybe just maybe I should be a slasher with her this year.

September 15th 1996,

Unfortunate change of plans, my parents announced that they were visiting family the week of Halloween. And for once I hated the thought of leaving here without (Y/n) by my side. In the past with her being alone on Halloween always sits wrong with me, and the fact is she wouldn't be alone; Stu and Billy always ended up being there.

Sick? Stu and Billy would come over. Aunt Gia unable to take her to the movies? Mrs. Macher would fill in, Stu dragging (Y/n) to the backseat. If I was out with the other girls dressing girly? Billy would immediately pull out a Micheal Myers mask and a bucket for candy.

I just can never get the timing right on Halloween to be with her. On her favorite holiday.

I might as well push these feelings to the side and let Stu or Billy have her this Halloween. Just like they always do. This time Tatum and Sidney won't be able to deny their boyfriends attraction to (Y/n).

September 19th 1996,

I can't believe I lost my diary for three days! And that's not even the worst part. Tatum was the one who gave it back to me. I was spiraling, hoping that she had some sense and did not read any of it.

Imagining the thought of her reading it sent chills down my spine. Not only would Tatum be out for my blood but (Y/n)s as well; even though the two girls get along fine now- I just know Tatum would immediately flip the script and try to ruin her life.

So what if (Y/n) had feelings for Stu and Billy. She likes Randy now. Even though I’m trying to be the main contender for her love-even I had to face the reality that she wasn't going to go for someone in a relationship. If I was to confess my feelings to her it most definitely would have to be after I dump Steve.

Don't get me wrong, the boy is really nice and sweet. He'd be the perfect boyfriend for me if I wasn't you know ‘a little sparkly’. The sex is good too and he even knows how to communicate well. The only argument we've had thus far was about how much time I've been spending with (Y/n) lately, it resulted in me crying and guilt tripping him.

He was getting a little bit too close to the truth.

But that's not what I'm afraid of. This afternoon I asked Tatum how she found my diary. Turns out she wasn't the one who found it.

It was Stu who had it for the weekend.

September 21st 1996,

Tonight (Y/n) came over to hang out as usual. Soon we were gossiping and talking about others' relationships before it shifted back to mine. (Y/n) apparently don't like how quickly me and Steve got together, and to be honest she was making some good points. Hooking up with boys and then immediately becoming a couple was very misleading and isn't how relationships should be formed.

The conversation got intense however once she suggested we watch a horror movie, we fell back into our normal routine. She did say something that threw me off though. She said if I was in the horror movie I would be the dumb blonde that dies first.

As if! I'm clearly too smart to die in a horror movie! I joked around with her about it and asked if she remembers the promise if I were to die. Of course she remembered but knew she wouldn't have to do it till we were daily older.

To me it doesn't matter how old we get together. She'll always be my everything in my eyes.

I had asked Steve to come over Wednesday to watch a movie, but obviously that's not what we're going to do. That night will be the last time I ever mess around with a boy, and Thursday morning I'll be single and ready to confess to my best friend.

I can only hope she reciprocates my feelings.

☿

August 31st , 1996

Last night was a total nightmare. I don't know who to be more angry at Sidney-or that bitches friend Tatum! We were all invited over (Y/n)’s house to sleepover and have a great time.

Unfortunately things took a twisted turn-

Screams emitted through the TV as the four girls settled across the living room floor. (Y/n) was snuggled up on Casey's side sharing a blanket as Tatum and Sidney were laid across the couch; apparently Tatum valued comfort rather than the floor, but Sidney did remain on the floor laid up against the couch with her sleeping bag.

It was a good thing the movie had subtitles since it was in Japanese; the plot in the movie was about a series of mass murder of teen girls who've all dated the boy. Upon the grand reveal it turns out it was his childhood best friend, her love for him was so obsessive that she resulted in killing all potential suitors for her friend. One might argue it was sick and twisted, but was it so different from many murder cases in the US? Sure some of the scenes were very violent, including the parts on how she disposed of the bodies; however jealousy and obsession can turn deadly quickly if not caught on to.

The alleged ‘final girl’ ran down the school corridor, running into the male protagonist as he tried to calm her down. Her hand was gone, blood practically spraying and pooling along the floor, (Y/n) would have to give it to the directors, the protruding bones look so real.

“All bets in that she's not going to survive,” Casey muttered.

(Y/n) hummed, “Yeah she already lost her virginity, so she already lost in that regard. Not to mention she was seen drinking a few scenes ago.” The two friends had watched so many scary movies at this point that they could predict when someone was going to die, or the ‘twist’ the directors were trying to pull.

The killer rounded the corner, her mouth and face going slack as the male lead and her locked eyes. The boy seemed shocked for a moment before he began to question her on why and how she was doing this. The subtitles were fast but the girls could get the gist of what was being said from the brief words on the screen.

“Wow,” Tatum scoffed, “What a love confession. Someone please kill me if I ever become that desperate over a man.”

“Wait,” Sidney watched as the boy started to step closer, his eyes brimming with tears, “Is he…is he confessing back?! After all the girls he’s slept with and had died due to her, he wants a relationship with her?”

This caught (Y/n)’s attention, she watched how the two childhood friends embraced one another as the other girl cried out to the boy pleading for him to stay-to save her. Only for the male to take the knife from the killer and kill the final girl himself. Something about the scene made it hard to look away.

‘How can someone choose a killer rather than the innocent?’

“He's in love with her,” She muttered, “so much he's willing to kill another innocent person in order for them to be together.” Something fluttered in her heart at the sheer devotion they have towards one another. They way they looked at eachother-no more secrets all the obstacles that were there before have been removed. The two halves of the same whole acn be together at last.

The screen cuts to a house, the childhood friends had gotten married and one would guess moved to another city to leave their choices behind. What caught the afro haired off guard was how happy the couple looked, they had even achieved a loving family; a pair of twins and a four year old boy all sitting at the table sharing grace before credits started to roll.

Casey shifted a bit, “Well, that movie was-,”

“Amazing-,”

“Shit,” Tatum snarled, “How can he want that ugly bitch and kill the good looking one? Isn't this Japanese? Wasn't it the standard to marry for good looking kids and successors?” The girl's attitude threw the other three girls for a loop.

(Y/n) still wanted to argue her point, “I think it's a good film! It's a lot different from the horror movies I usually watch, and I think the fact that the childhood friends got together despite everything was a good twist and satisfying ending.” She got up from Caseys side and went to retrieve the tape and grab another movie, “Here, we can watch a Chick flick next since you didn't like-”

“You think all childhood friends should end up together huh, (Y/n)?”

The girl paused her movements at the question. She didn't understand why the question seemed so-hostile. Casey sat up and shot Tatum a look, clearly disliking where this was going. Sidney on the other hand had a very uncomfortable expression on her face, almost like she was expecting this.

“Well, sometimes yes,” (Y/n) shrugged the stranged feeling off, “Think about it. They’re the ones that know each other most inside and out. Look at most successful marriages for instance-they were either childhood friends or friends and with each other for a long time.” She popped in ‘She’s All That’ before turning to the strawberry blond, “Plus my parents were childhood friends. That's why their marriage was so successful.”

There was an uncomfortable silence in the room.

Something shifted behind Tatum's eyes; malice, spite, fueled by jealousy. “Oh, so you're assuming that Me and Stu’s relationship is going to be temporary since we were not childhood friends?”

(Y/n) made a face at the mention of her friends name, her heart contorted “No! That's not even what I was trying to say-”

“It was implied-”

“Fuck off Tatum,” Casey barked, “The only reason why he’s with you is because your so willing to lay on you back for him.”

They all had to have known it was true. Tatum was so desperate for the boy to acknowledge her since the seventh grade. Going as far to change her style three times before settling on the busty mean girl persona; of course she wasn’t mean all the time-just liked the look.

Other than that Casey wasn't going to let the girl accuse her friend of these things without proof. (Y/n) wasn't the type to go after someone elses’ boyfriend; however with the information the blonde knew about she did feel a bit hypocritical.

Stu wanted (Y/n). Did she know if it was the same the other way around? No. Was she still going to defend her anyway? Absolutely.

Tatum whipped her head over to the other blond practically giving her whiplash. Her face was red now in embarrassment or fury one could barely tell. “Oh! Just like how you were so willing to do that same-,”

“At least I didn’t fuck my friends boyfriend while they were in a committed relationship-”

“It was only two times-”

“Two times too many!” Casey huffed, “Is this what you came here for? To start something with (Y/n) because you know she's the nicest out of the rest of us?”

Tatum rolled her eyes, “You act like she's a newborn, she can defend herself,” She took a swig of her cola before shifting her eyes to her best friend, “Besides I’m not the only one with questions, Sidney does as well.”

(Y/n) zeroed in on Sidney, the girl was fiddling with the sleeve of her sweater. Something about her whole demeanor screams ‘guilty as sin’; as if she just got done something unforgivable. In this case she felt pressured to get to the bottom of why Billy had this slight obsession with the girl in front of her.

Sidney did have a question about Billy and her relationship, and she wanted the girl to be honest about it. She wouldn't be mad if there was something before,but it would mean things between her and her boyfriend would be called into question.

“Y-you have something to ask me Sid?”

Sidney nodded, “Yeah, um I went over Billy’s house the other day, and I saw a lot of things in his room that surprised me is all,” Surprise would be an understatement, her heart felt like it was being ripped into thirds with the items she came in contact with. They haven't been dating for long but she felt like she really liked him, but there's only so much one can take, “You-uh-you guys have a lot of photos with each other. Even with his mom and dad-and uh-Stu was in some of them too..”

She was trying to give a hint to the girl about what she was trying to say. Sidney knew no boys or men who would have that many pictures of a girl visible. Especially in a relationship. It wasn't like it was just on his desk, no-it was all around his house. On the hallway walls, in his dads office-in the kitchen-everywhere. Mr. Loomis almost seemed shocked that Sidney even earned the title ‘Girlfriend’.

‘What happened to (Y/n)?’ Billy’s Father voiced out loud.

Billy stilled for a moment his eyes hazy, ‘(Y/n) has been busy with school lately,”

His father simply cocked an eyebrow and said nothing more. Sidney had never felt more embarrassed and out of place; she knew what the question really meant and what answer Billy’s father was looking for. He wanted to know why (Y/n) wasn't the one at the table with them with the title instead of Sidney.

“So are you asking if I have the same pictures as him?” The girl cut through the silence.

Sidney shook her head, cheeks pink. She didn't know why this was frustrating her-it was just a question. So with a deep breath she ripped off the bandage, “Did you and Billy ever have a secret relationship?”

(Y/n) sputtered as her face grew warm at the question, sure she had secretly entertained the idea of having Billy as a boyfriend but it quickly went out the window once she realized her long term feelings for Stu. It should've been easy to answer back at the question but she was so surprised with the way it was said threw her for a loop.

“No, me and Billy have never had that sort of relationship.” She finally stated.

The brunette didn't seem convinced, “What about the nickname they both gave you. Billy and Stu,” Billy had a habit of calling (Y/n) by her nickname rather than her real name, even in Sidney's presence. It would be different if it was something funny, or a common nickname given among friends, but it was so intimate. And (Y/n) didn't notice it like the other girls did.

Sidney didn't even have an intimate nickname. Billy just called her ‘Sid’ like everyone else.

“What nickname? You mean (N/N)? Billy and Stu haven't called me by that name in years-”

“No! The other one!” Sidney persisted, “The intimate one. You’ve got to remember, Billy calls you it all the time when you're not around-,” The girl paused for a moment, her thoughts sinking in. What if Billy and Stu never said the nickname to the girls face once they got to highschool; it has been a long time since Sidney and Tatum was thrown into the mix in regards to their group. “Did Billy and Stu ever call you anything else in your presence?”

The afro haired paused, thinking it over before answering. There was one nickname Billy and Stu used to call her by sometimes, but it was just while they were watching movies and alone with the three of them. It was around about ninth grade when the nickname was made; Billy insisted that they call her by it.

“Final Girl,”

There was silence again. If there was a way from steam to whistle out of Tatum's ears they all would have heard it.

“Excuse me?” Sidney said, “They call you what?”

(Y/n) bit her lip, “Final girl, Billy insisted I be called that. You know Final girls are the ones that-”

“That’s not the name I was talking about. You mean to tell me you have another one-?”

“Did you fuck Stu instead?” Tatum cut in, “If you couldn't have one friend you might as well go for the other one-”

“Tatum,” Sidney hissed. This wasn't how she wanted to go about doing things. Backing (Y/n) in a corner like this was just bullying her, and if she did have private relationships with either boy it wasn’t for them to know. (Y/n) even had the right to refuse not to answer.

The afro haired girl gripped her band tee in frustration, “I didn’t fuck anyone!” She got up and glared at Tatum in frustration, she didn't understand the girl's deal. She had won already, she had Stu all to herself, “You both have Stu and Billy as your boyfriends and spend so much time with them to the point we three don't hang out as much anymore! When would I have the time to even get the chance to do something like that?”

“Can we just all calm down for a second-,”

“Did you ever have feelings for Stu or Billy?!”

“What does it matter?!” (Y/n) cried, “You have both of them! You won! Tatum you fuck Stu every single day! And Sidney you watch movies with Billy all the time-!” The girl cut off a lump forming in her throat as she could see her favorite boys doing the activities with her friends. Something inside twisted and lurched-her eyes growing warm and sight blurry.

This was all enough for Sidney and Tatum to see the girls true feelings. One felt sympathetic with the reaction, the other on the other hand-.

“I told you!” Tatum pointed, “I knew there was something going on with those three! So how did it feel being Stu and Billy’s whore all throughout ninth grade-” The girl was cut off with a pillow connecting to her head.

Casey loomed over the other girl, her face contorted in rage, “Say that again. I dare you.”

The two other girls stood up immediately with how Casey was standing over Tatum, they knew if a hit landed there was no coming back from this. Also (Y/n) didn't want anyone to be fighting inside her house, her Aunt would have a fit knowing why her living room looked a mess. She would be okay with a bit of fun-not a full out brawl.

(Y/n) sighed sadly, “Tatum, Sid - you guys need to leave.”

A sad solemn look took over Sidney's face at the girl's tone, “Wha - No look I'm sorry can we just pretend this conversation didn't happen?” It was wistful thinking, but she honestly didn't want to leave things this way between everyone. They were supposed to have fun; Sidney wanted to ignore the boy problems for one day and just enjoy the presence of her friends without any problems. (Y/n) didn't deserve to be asked questions that way tonight, especially about the two people she saw as her best friends for the longest time.

“Pretend?” Said Casey, “After the two of you tried jumping down her throat! You want to pretend you didn't do anything?!”

The blonde stormed over to the two sleeping bags grabbing them and rushing back to the front door. Tatum finally got up from the couch in shock, following after the angry girl. Not a single one of them had ever seen Becker this upset, sure she argued and had a sharp tongue but throwing their things outside of the house was way beyond what they could imagine.

“Casey! Are you fuckin crazy-?!”

“For my best friend? Yes!” Casey yelled, “Now are you going to grab your backpack yourself or am I going to have to grab them for you?”

(Y/n) wiped tears from her eyes, “Cas at least let them call their parents-”

“Tatum's house is two blocks away, they can kick rocks.”

It was quick with how the girls left, and the afro haired girl felt a sense of dread with the door closing. It was only when Casey placed a hand on her shoulder did she break down. In some way she blamed herself for them-for their actions and jealousy towards her. She allowed her best friend to guide her towards the couch before she left to get some water and tissues. She stared blankly at the chick flick on the screen, she didn't know why she chose that one.

It was Tatum's favorite. And it was her least favorite.

Casey came back with a glass of water, tissues and a pack of red licorice in her hands, “You okay?” It was a rhetorical question of course, but it was better to ask rather than not asking.

“Would I really be considered a whore if I liked Stu and Billy?” The girl sniffed, “Is it really that bad that I used to have feelings for them? I mean I like Randy now but is it bad that I acknowledge Stu would never look my way because I wasn't enough-”

Casey grabbed the girl's hands, cutting her off , “You are enough. It's their fault they couldn't see that,” She proceeded to wipe the girls cheeks clean of tears, “And in my opinion they've lost the best thing to ever enter their lives. You.”

Silence filled the room for a moment. Nothing could be heard over the girls sniffles and the faint sound of the movie in the background. Casey simply held the girl in her embrace, rubbing up and down her arms in a soothing motion to calm her down.

“Casey,” The girl whispered softly.

“Hmm?”

“If I dont have anyone else, it'll just be me and you right?”

Casey looked down at her friend, a loving smile taking place on her pink lips, “Of Course. We don't need them. It'll just be me and you against the world.” The girl unexpectedly sprung up off the sofa and headed over to the pile of movies, “I think this chick flick isn't our speed! Lets watch another horror movie, any recommendations?”

(Y/n) gave a watery smile, “I got another japanese film we could watch,”

“Cool! Which one is it?” The blonde shuffled through the tapes.

“It's the one with the two bloodied friends on the cover. It's called, ‘Forget Me Not’.”

[pocketramblr]

Ask game: Momo Yaoyorozu is Hana Shimura, pretending to be much younger than she actually is as a hero student.

1- well i guess shes VERY good at pretending to be younger than she is. She's been doing it for years, ever since she was found by a young heir concerned by the crying dirty child near his limo. waving off his chauffeur he asked what was going on. The little girl replied her whole family was dead and her brother turned them all to dust. the heir was like "oh, dear. Jeeves, call the police and heroes for help" and looked around for a handkerchief. he didn't have one, and Hana made one, sniffling. The rich heir told Jeeves to cancel the phone call, and ushers Hana into the car. Then he calls his wife, "darling, you said you wanted a baby? i found a very sweet one! I fear her family may have been killed by quirk traffickers, but she really does look so much like your sister i think we can arrange something"

2- somehow mrs yaoyorozu is a flavor of unhinged that compliments her husband very well so she is delighted to have a suprise new daughter, and just a doll of one too. Hana doesnt really want to use her quirk, so she doesnt, and doesnt want to talk, so she doesnt. her new parents aren't sure what her name is, but when they suggested options "momo" she seemed to like it more than other options. Momo actually kept claiming a younger age because she didn't want to go to school, but inevitably her new parents caught on and are quie sure she's old enough for school.

3- She doesnt make many friends, given she's traumatized and also older than her classmates even if she doesnt say it. but the years pass, and life becomes somewhat normal for her. She wants to be a hero, and gets into UA

4. Nedzu absolutely knows something is up about her but isnt sure what, and so is currently just waiting and watching paitiently.

5. Momo is in a different section at USJ and so doesnt see Shigaraki, but she does hear about his quirk from classmates afterwards, and it shakes her. But then she's too far from hosu, at the mall, at the camp- and she cant take it anymore. So when the Rescue Squad asks her to help track the nomu and lov, she already knows shes going to do it. She's already decided she needs to look herself, to find out more about Shigaraki.

[dallonwrites]

LOVER BOY - WIP INTRO

[ lover boy by @dallonwrites / sfgate / tumblr user catilinas / lover boy | little weirds by jenny slate / lover boy / hellraiser (1987) / manhunter (1986) / the lost boys (1987) / lover boy ] this post has alt text.

disclaimer: this is my own original work

Genre: Literary that wishes it were horror Setting: San Francisco, 1987/88 Aesthetics: fake blood, uncanny SFX in old horror movies, grainy home videos, a deeply orange sunset, retro arcade games, an empty mall, overripe fruit, anatomical heart models, heart shaped candles, leather jackets, rolling fog, the moon in the ocean, bowling alleys, red lights, trying to see a ghost in the hallway, real blood, mixtapes from former lovers, nightclub bathrooms, vampire fangs, neck kisses Summary: Sometimes, to cope with change and unpredictability, Beau likes to pretend he's the protagonist of a blood-soaked horror movie. And all he's ever wanted is a lover. But after the death of his childhood best friend he retreats into himself - frustrated at love and frustrated that Bobby hasn't haunted him the way he promised to - until he's jolted back by former friends needing his help with a movie project, an ex lover returning as new ones find new ways to hurt him, his friends and his community getting sicker, and a near death experience that comes with the urgency to record everything around him whilst he still can. The more that happens, the more he tries to find ghosts around him. The more times he sees blood on his hands, the more painful his old coping mechanism becomes, as his thoughts become less and less tasty.

what if you were autistic but you didn't know it because it's the 1980s and your special interest is horror movies and sometimes your brain feels a little bit blood-soaked but it's okay because it feels good! it makes you feel better, right? but then your best friend dies and also you lose the closest person you had to a lover and you wonder if you've wasted your time obsessing over romance but you don't have time to think about it because life keeps happening and nobody seems to care that your community is dying and no matter how hard you try you never see a ghost in the hallway or the bathroom mirror like you want to, and then your lover comes back but he's different, and so are you, and you really want to stop looking death in the eye, so you try to capture everything around you on your video camera to show that you were here, we were here and we're alive, and your queerness is your heartbeat and all you want to do in this life is love, so that's what you do, despite everything, whatever that love looks like, even when everything gets louder and brighter and too much to bare and you're starting to get scared by the blood in your thoughts

I call this "the culmination of my growing obsession with horror and the undergrad dissertation I wrote on how the AIDS crisis functions in queer narratives". I think it's my favourite thing I've started in a long time! There's so much flesh to this story that I haven't even dug my hand as deep into it as I could go. It's fun, it's silly, it's raw, it's sweet, it's emotional, it's complicated, it's a bit bloody, it's theatrical, it's trying it's best. It doesn't take itself too seriously but it's also crying in the bathtub you know

Characters (just a few otherwise this would get way too long)

Beau (he/him) the bestest boy in the whole world. Someone pleeeease take him to a farmers market on a chilled Sunday afternoon

Benji (he/him) Beau's little brother who Beau thinks is the bestest boy in the whole world. Even though he loves bugs and dirt and wants to be a shark when he grows up

Bobby (he/him) dead but before he died he thought being a ghost would be so fun. It'd be so much easier to sneak up on Beau! He could finally go to Fire Island! He loved handmaking jewellery and wanted to be a volcanologist.

Felix (he/him) the ex lover! He's doing sooo much better since the last time you saw him! Hey why is he crying in that movie theatre bathroom

Tiff (she/they) Beau's old friend and roommate. Tattoo artist who collects eye shaped decor and broken rotary phones. Lesbian/gay solidarity is the backbone of this novel.

Dorothy (she/her) In love with the moon and acrylic paints. What if you bumped into your ex boyfriends twin sister and feel like you shouldn't get involved but then you remember she's realllyyy fun to talk shit about people with?

[helloalycia]

moving on [two] // alicia clark

summary: Alicia takes you back to the fire as you desperately hope to find your sister and take her away from Jeremy. Things don't seem to go to plan...

warning/s: mentions of injury and death.

author's note: here’s part two for the few people reading this one aha, hope you like it! ♥️

one / three / four / five / six / wattpad / masterlist

"Are you sure you're okay? You look like you're in a lot of–"

"I'm fine," I cut Alicia off for the millionth time, gritting my teeth.

She glanced at me before nodding and returning her attention to the road. I closed my eyes and looked away, trying to push away the pain in my shoulder. It was hurting a lot more than I realised, the meds Naomi gave me only doing so much. Really, I needed rest, but I couldn't waste time, not when Y/S/N was somewhere out there.

Alicia kept to her word and was taking me back to the fire, which should've long burnt out now. She'd been able to take a car from the stadium which I was surprised they had the gas for, along with some supplies and a gun in case we ran into any trouble.

As we got closer to the building, I noticed a lot of infected hanging around nearby, drawn in by the smoke. Less than when I was here last, but still a lot more than expected. Alicia had to pull up down the road so we wouldn't attract them.

"I don't think she's gonna be in there," Alicia said hesitantly, as if afraid to insult me yet again. It didn't matter – I knew she thought this whole thing was pointless, but I didn't care for her opinion.

Annoyingly though, she was right at the moment. There was no way Y/S/N would have stayed with this much infected around. I wasn't sure what I expected to find.

"Drive past it," I told her. "We set up camp not far from here. If they're still there, that's where she'll be."

Not arguing it, Alicia hummed and turned the engine back on, carefully manoeuvring around the stray infected and following the road away from the fire. I glanced at it in the window, realising how lucky I was to have made it out alive. That, and a small part of me was terrified I'd find my sister walking amongst the dead.

Thankfully, she wasn't.

All of my hopes were placed in the belief that Y/S/N was back at camp with Jeremy and the rest of his gang – it was too soon for them to move on, unless they deemed it unsafe. I didn't want to consider that as an option, since we hadn't talked about where to go next and so if she wasn't here now, I'd truly lost her.

The car ride was quiet except for the occasional direction from myself, and after a tense ride, we finally reached a deserted strip mall. I tried not to worry at the emptiness of it all, knowing this had been full of tents and supplies when I'd been here only a few days ago.

"They should be here," I muttered, mostly to myself, and barely acknowledged Alicia's response when I got out the car and made my way to one of the stores.

Knife raised (since Alicia refused to give me an actual weapon), I ran inside, hoping to find any sign of people. But everything was a mess, empty packets and cans of food left lying around like everybody had moved out.

"No, no, no, no...," I mumbled, the panic growing as I sped around the shelves of the store, expecting to find somebody. "Y/S/N?! Are you here?! It's me!"

There was no answer and I knew they'd left – it only made sense – but I refused to accept it. There had to be something!

I checked the back of the store – a small room where we had left some supplies – but it was empty and anything leftover was simply rubbish. They'd gone.

Y/S/N was gone.

"Y/N," Alicia breathed out when she saw me stepping out from the back room. "I... I'm sorry."

Tears pooling in my eyes, I glanced at her, seeing pity staring back at me. I didn't want her pity, I wanted Y/S/N.

"We never move on this quickly," I said, putting my knife away. "Maybe they went out."

Alicia pressed her lips together, no doubt judging my naïvety. "Or maybe they left because it was too close to the fire. To the infected. Too dangerous."

I frowned, squeezing my fists together. "There's got to be something here to tell me where they went. I'm not giving up."

"Y/N..."

I ignored her protesting voice as I peeled my eyes for any clue to their whereabouts. Alicia called my name as I zipped around the store, flipping over the few belongings that had been left behind, but it was useless.

"There's nothing here, Y/N, maybe you should leave it," Alicia tried, and it only pissed me off further.

"No!" I yelled, spinning around to glare at her. "I'm not just giving up! She may not mean anything to you, but she's my sister!"

"She left you to die!" Alicia retorted, sympathetic eyes flickering between mine.

"She didn't!" I defended her. "It was that fucking arsehole– ugh!"

Out of frustration, I swung my arm at a nearby shelf, it falling to the floor with a crash, and though it temporarily eased my frustrations, it permanently left me with a strike of pain in my shoulder. Immediately wincing, I clutched my arm, cursing at my stupidity.

"Your arm–"

"I'm fine!" I shouted, glaring at the stranger who had no need here, but it wasn't threatening in the slightest because I was a blubbering mess.

"Y/N, you have no idea where she is and they could all be long gone by now," Alicia tried again, this time in a gentler voice. "Your shoulder isn't looking good and if you leave now, it's a suicide mission!"

I sniffled, eyes blurry with tears, too many to make out Alicia's face. I hated how emotional I sounded when I said, "I can't leave her. She's my sister. I can't stop looking, not when she's out there somewhere." Frowning, I let go of my shoulder and wiped away my tears, but only more replaced them. "She's all I have left. You don't get it. I'm supposed to look after her."

Hesitantly, Alicia took a step forward and rested a comforting hand on my shoulder. "You've done all you can right now. You're hurt. You need rest."

She was right. But giving up wasn't easy, even though deep down I knew that finding Y/S/N was impossible. She could be anywhere by now and I had no idea where to start looking.

I still wasn't sure whether she chose to leave me back at the fire or not, but I knew that we shouldn't be apart. Still... oddly enough, I couldn't help but wonder if it was supposed to be like this. We'd been arguing a lot lately, she was changing right before my eyes and I couldn't stop it. I despised Jeremy, but he did keep her safe. Maybe she was finally with people who understood her, not like I did.

"Y/N," Alicia said softly, and I realised I was crying again, the loss stinging more than the pain in my shoulder.

"I know you're right," I said, not meaning for it to come out as a whisper.

Alicia sighed regretfully, dropping her hand. "We have scouts that go out regularly from the stadium to keep an eye on the surrounding areas. I can ask them to keep an eye out for your sister and this gang. If any word or sightings come up, you'll be the first to know."

I glanced at her, wondering why she was being so generous, especially after my lack of gratitude.

"You're not giving up," she assured me, nodding. "We'll be looking. You're just keeping yourself safe. Doing the smart thing, not the reckless one."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, sniffling uncomfortably. Was she right again? Probably. But it wouldn't make losing Y/S/N any easier. My baby sister. Lost.

"Please will you come back to the stadium with me?" she asked carefully, looking up at me through her eyelashes. "Your sister got a fresh start. You deserve one, too."

It was hard to agree, considering it was my fault this had all happened. But I had nowhere to go, and Alicia was the kindest person I'd met in a long time.

"We should go," I confirmed, unable to meet her gaze because I was horribly hurt, embarrassed and still a little angry, though not at her.

She seemed to gauge my mood as she nodded and led the way back to the car. I glanced around at the deserted store, wondering by how much I'd missed them all. It didn't matter, but I still wondered.

When Alicia and I returned to the stadium, time didn't feel real. I followed along as she returned the car and spoke to some of the guards posted at the gate, but none of it was really sticking. Lost in my own head, that's what I was, and the last place I wanted to be was here.

Alicia's mother, Madison Clark, found us by the gate, too. I only knew who she was because she was the one who let us go this morning, understanding my need to find my sister. Of course, now it meant nothing. She was nodding along intently as Alicia explained what we found, but I tuned it out. Until suddenly, I felt her touch my arm briefly, bringing me back to reality.

"...sorry you couldn't find her, Y/N, I really am," Madison was saying, staring at me with the same sympathy her daughter had been this whole time. "We'll keep an eye out for her and hopefully something will come up. But for now, you should stay here and rest up. This place could be something special for you if you allow it."

Admittedly, the southern twinge in her accent and the fact that she was the first elderly maternal figure I'd come across since losing my own made me feel a little better, but then the hurt returned when she let go and I was back to feeling lost.

Alicia said a few more things, none of it meaning a thing to me, before Madison left us. Only when she nudged my arm slightly did I realise she was asking me something.

"What was that?" I asked, blinking with realisation.

Hiding a frown, she asked, "Are you alright with going back to see Naomi? She should check on your shoulder."

Feeling like I didn't have much of a choice or interest in the matter, I shrugged halfheartedly and followed after her.

I hadn't wanted to return empty handed. Maybe I had let my mind run wild last night, imagining a scenario where we found Y/S/N and I finally convinced her to leave Jeremy, to come back with me to the stadium. Being here without her was a permanent reminder of what I'd failed to do.

Naomi checked me out once more, but I barely remembered it. A few stitches had come loose (no doubt a result of my tantrum) and she fixed me up quickly enough.

Soon after, Alicia said something about a tour of the place, but considering she led me straight to my own small room that had been newly built, I could only assume she meant another time.

"This is all for me?" I asked with surprise, looking around the small wooden shed that had had a glass window and enough space to house a bed, dresser and desk. More than I'd had in a long time.

"Yeah, it's one of the newer rooms we've built since we have the space," she said casually, like this wasn't the biggest luxury of all. "Also, I didn't think you'd want to share with a stranger right now. But if you find yourself getting lonely, I can arrange for a roommate."

All I could think to do was nod, in slight disbelief as I looked around the space. Everything was spotless, ready to be lived in. And to my dismay, the first thing I thought was how it would be the first space I'd live in without Y/S/N.

"I'll leave you to get settled," Alicia spoke when I didn't. "Lunch will be served soon. I can come and get you and show you around a little from there. Is that okay?"

I was glad not to be facing her, otherwise she'd see me shamefully trying to wipe away some tears. Why couldn't we have found this place sooner? I'd still have my sister. We could have been safe. It was right under our noses this whole time and we'd missed it.

"Y/N–"

"That's fine," I cut her off before she could attempt to comfort me. "Thank you."

For some bizarre reason, the brunette was persistent as she found my gaze worriedly. "It's been a long few days for you. I understand this can feel overwhelming. If you want to talk about it–"

"I said I'm fine, Alicia," I interrupted a little too harshly, before adding, "Thanks," in a poor attempt to ease the blow.

She didn't seem offended, not entirely anyway, as she nodded. "Right. Well, I'll be back in a bit. Be careful with your stitches."

I nodded, watching as she left me to it. When the door closed behind her, I finally felt like I could breathe, no longer under her watchful stare. It was a lot to process, her personality a big question on its own, but I couldn't begin to think about that right now. Not that, not this place and it's privileges, not anything.

Y/S/N was plaguing my thoughts. She was gone, for now, but she was still out there somewhere. She had to be. And I wouldn't give up until I knew she was definitely safe.

I knew this, and yet the tears still rolled down my cheeks and I still found myself sobbing in the corner of the room, mourning her like she was truly gone.

Settling into the stadium was much more difficult than I realised. And not at the fault of the people here – they were actually some of the nicest bunch I'd met in a long time – but because I was still in denial about Y/S/N.

Wherever I went, whatever I did, I'd think of her. How couldn't I? She was my family, my sister, the person who knew me the best. We'd been together our whole lives and now suddenly we weren't? It was the worst feeling, one I couldn't adjust to. Every day for as long as I'd been here this past week, I'd asked the patrol in the evenings if they'd seen or heard anything about Jeremy and his gang. It was always the same answer: no.

The stadium itself was difficult to adjust to as I still couldn't get used to seeing so many people, a community, altogether at once. Y/S/N and I had been on the run for so long, I'd forgotten what a community felt like. Everybody helped each other out, befriended one another, took turns with chores, acted like a family. There was no constant looking over your shoulder for fear of infected or wondering where your next meal would come from – every day was like a breath of fresh air. The closest thing to normal I'd seen since the world went to shit.

I should have been grateful, I know it. And I would have if you'd caught me at any other point in my life, but not now. Not when I couldn't accept it all without my sister by my side.

I mostly kept to myself, finding it easier that way. After Alicia had given me that initial tour, she offered to introduce me to some people to help me settle in, but I had no interest in doing so. At mealtimes, I would stick to my own table. When I'd sign up for chores in the morning, I'd only converse if I had to. Apart from speaking with Naomi about my health when she checked on my shoulder, I rarely spoke. It wasn't healthy, I knew that much, but it was hard to enjoy anything without Y/S/N.

It didn't stay like that forever though.

One day, I was on laundry duty, scrubbing some clothes on a washboard but very much lost in my own thoughts – a common pastime of mine lately, it seemed.

"Hey!" a voice shouted, startling me from my thoughts and making me look up. It was Alicia. "You've gotta start pulling your weight around here, those clothes aren't gonna wash themselves."

Worried, I straightened up and looked back to the washboard, scrubbing the clothes faster. "S-sorry, I'm on it."

"Hey, hey, hey," she said quickly, stopping my hands with her own. An apologetic smile was on her lips as she said, "I'm kidding, relax."

I sighed quietly, embarrassed as I looked away. "Right."

"I just wanted to ask how you're doing," she continued, losing her smile when she realised I wasn't amused. "I feel like we haven't spoken much since you've been here."

She was being polite about it, but we both knew it was intentional on my part. Every time she looked like she wanted to talk to me, I'd actively avoid her. It wasn't anything she'd done, more so that I knew I'd have to open up to her because she wasn't one to leave things alone, and I certainly wasn't ready for that.

"It's safe," I said truthfully, answering her question, hoping it would be what she wanted to hear and convince her to leave me be. "Everybody is nice. It's nice to be guaranteed a meal, one that nobody had to die for."

When she didn't respond, I glanced up and realised she was frowning, making me feel bad.

"Sorry, never mind," I said awkwardly, clearing my throat.

"No, it's okay," she found her voice again, the sympathy returning. "I know what it's like out there. How hard it can be."

I hummed uncomfortably, unsure what else to say. My eyes were on the bucket of water that my hands were stuck in as I wondered whether or not she'd leave, but then she spoke up again.

"Do you, maybe, wanna hang out when you're done?" she asked politely. "I was gonna–"

"I'm okay," I answered before she could waste another breath. The last thing I wanted was even more of her pity, even if she was only trying to be nice.

Surprised at my abruptness, she licked her lips and nodded slowly. "Hmm, yeah, no worries. Well, I'll be around if you need anything. Or change your mind."

I nodded, knowing I wouldn't, and she awkwardly walked away, leaving me to do my job.

In the week I'd been here, I still hadn't pinpointed what Alicia's story was. Despite not speaking to people much, it wasn't hard to eavesdrop on conversations or gain the occasional context from people whilst working. It still wasn't enough though.

All I'd gathered was that Alicia and her family were adamant on keeping this place safe, secure and open to those who needed a home. It didn't make sense why she was so kind and wanted to help people – nobody was that nice without a hidden motive. I was still trying to figure it out, but the more I observed the girl, the more I began to believe that maybe she was just one of those rare nice people, one of the few left in the world.

Lucky me, I guess.

That same evening, after dinner, I was stretching my legs and going for a walk around the stadium with the intention of making it back to my room to have a quiet night in (the usual for me nowadays).

It wasn't too cold out, the weather finally starting to feel like spring, and the sun had just set so it left me in a rare yet peaceful mood. I was somewhat enjoying the time alone, not really thinking of anything in particular, when I felt something hit my foot. Confused, I stopped and looked down, realising it was a toy car. How did that get there?

Before I could think to do anything, it whirred to life and reversed a little before attempting to drive forward again, once again hitting the tip of my shoe. A second car rolled onto the scene, slamming into the first one at full speed, resulting it in landing upside down. Whoever was controlling it attempted to move it with the controls, the wheels spinning in the air, but it was stuck.

I looked up, very much lost, and spotted a kid cheering in the distance, a remote in hand and grin on her face. Alicia was kneeling beside her, a remote in hand also, and looked like she was scolding her briefly before standing up and meeting my eyes apologetically. Jogging over to me, she smiled awkwardly.

I bent down to pick up the upside down car as the other one drove away, standing up as Alicia stopped before me.

"Hey, sorry about that," she said quickly, eyes darting to the car nervously.

"S'okay," I said, before giving it back to her. Unsure what else to say, I added, "So, er, is this what you do for fun?"

I cringed as soon as I said it, internally kicking myself for sounding like an idiot.

She snickered nervously, shrugging as she played with the car between her fingers. "I found some batteries for them and thought little Aaliyah might want to do something fun."

I glanced over at the young girl in question, watching as she continued to play with her car with a permanent grin fixed on her face. It was strange seeing a child get to be a child, but it felt right. It was how it was supposed to be, and Alicia was pretty sweet to give her this experience.

"Looks fun," was all I could think to say.

Alicia hummed in agreement, glancing over at Aaliyah, too, before her green eyes met mine. "I was going to ask if you wanted to join us earlier, but I... er..."

I realised what she was referring to and immediately felt bad for blowing her off so suddenly.

"Sorry if I offended you," she decided on, sounding genuine. "I know that you're still settling in–"

"No, no need to apologise," I interrupted, feeling mildly guilty for icing her out unnecessarily. "I'm sorry. It was rude of me to decline like I did. You were just being nice and I..." I sighed inwardly. "Thank you for the offer."

She pursed her lips, nodding slowly. I assumed she'd leave it there, but her eyes lingered on mine hopefully before she said, "The offer's still there if you wanna reconsider..."

I paused, surprised that she still wanted to hang out with me after how I'd acted. Then she wiggled the remote a little in her hands in an admittedly cute attempt to entice me, and it annoyingly worked.

A ghost of a smile on my lips, I accepted the remote from her. "Thanks."

Her own smile appeared, softening her features, and she put the car back on the ground for me to use.

I hadn't played with a remote-controlled car since I was a kid, so playing with one now was certainly something. Definitely a time I wouldn't forget, not with Alicia sticking by my side like we were kids in a playground that had suddenly decided to play games with each other. We played together with Aaliyah, engaging in little competitions, and it was admittedly the first time I'd thought about something other than Y/S/N. The first time I'd felt myself smile since coming here.

It was a weird feeling and I almost felt guilty for feeling like I was living again, but I didn't get chance to because Alicia's laughter and Aaliyah's cheering would distract me, and I'd have no need to think otherwise.

Y/S/N and I had stuck together all of our lives and especially during this apocalypse, so I hadn't had room or time for friends since it had all started. I was rusty, clearly, but it was a pleasure to be able to hang out with someone – to hang out with Alicia – and see a potential friendship. Though, I was still in denial about that last part, of course.

The next morning, I was heading to get breakfast as usual, planning to sit alone like I always did. But as I was about to join the queue to collect my food, none other than Alicia found me and joined me with a small smile.

"Good morning," she greeted, lining up behind me in the queue.

It was out of the ordinary for her to greet me, especially since it was obvious I'd been actively avoiding her recently and she knew not to approach me. But last night seemed to have changed the dynamic a little, and I didn't completely hate it.

"Morning." I returned her smile, albeit a little more tired than I wanted.

I moved up the line as trays were being handed out, closer to getting my food, when Alicia spoke up again.

"So, would it be overstepping if I asked if you wanted to sit with me this morning?"

My first instinct was to decline, the words on the tip of my tongue as I glanced over at her. But then she smiled at me – curse her friendly smile – and waited patiently for an answer, and then I remembered how I actually liked being around people last night, so maybe it wasn't a bad thing to say yes.

"It wouldn't, no," I answered, hoping it was the right thing. "Thanks."

She nodded, suppressing her smile as she looked away. "Great."

We both collected our breakfast – something I was still getting used to because of how varied it was every morning – and I followed her to a table. The one she chose already had two people seated there, whom I recognised to be her brother, Nick, and his girlfriend, Luciana. I hadn't formally been introduced to Nick, but I'd heard of him through others over the last week. And of course, Luciana had been with Alicia when they found me.

"Hey, guys," Alicia greeted when she took a seat opposite them. "Y/N is gonna join us this morning. Be nice."

"I'm always nice," Luciana said, making Alicia smile with amusement.

"You're right, Luci, my bad. I obviously meant my idiot brother," she corrected herself, making her brother grin.

I slid in beside Alicia, offering a small, awkward smile to the couple.

"I'm always nice, too, for the record," her brother said to me with a playful smile, before introducing himself. "I'm Nick, Alicia's brother."

"And I'm Luciana, as you know," Luciana added with a friendly smile. "It's nice to properly meet you, Y/N."

"It's nice to meet you both, too," I returned politely, knowing they were just as much in charge of this place as Alicia and her mum, even if they all claimed there was no official 'leaders'. I didn't want to make a bad first impression, though I was sure I was a little late with that.

"How are you finding it here so far? You've been here for a week or so, right?" Luciana asked with genuine interest.

"It's a lot better than what I'm used to," I said truthfully, before looking down at the scrambled eggs in my plate. "I dreamed of eggs once upon a time. Now I actually have them."

She smiled with amusement. "Yeah, it's a little hard to believe sometimes."

"The best bit is when we get to have the beef," Nick said with a satisfied smile, as if remembering something. "We pull out the grill, have a barbecue. It's just like old times."

"Oh, yeah, because back at home you used to love having family barbecues," Alicia said sarcastically, giving her brother a knowing look.

Nick grinned. "You're just jealous that I used to get my burger made before yours."

"It wasn't jealousy," she corrected him, like they'd had this discussion many times. "You used to sit and do nothing whilst I helped mum and dad out with the food, then waltz on in to get served first. It wasn't fair."

"That's not how I remember it," Nick teased, scrunching his nose.

Alicia raised her brows. "You might wanna get your head checked then. Because I'm right."

Nick shrugged, going for a forkful of eggs. "Jealous."

"Right."

"Jealous."

"Right."

I couldn't tell if they were arguing or sharing playful banter, as I looked between them like a tennis match. Luciana glanced at me, unbothered by it.

"You learn to tune it out," she assured me.

I nodded slowly, wondering if that were true, then the Clark siblings finally put their petty argument to rest and turned the conversation back to me.

"So, what did you sign up for today?" Nick asked, making conversation.

"I, er, said I'd help with the cattle," I said. "I'm just kinda trying everything out to see what I like."

"Aww, that's good, you're helping Nick's family out," Alicia teased, looking to her brother with a mischievous smile.

He tried to fight his own smile as he rolled his eyes. "Really funny that was, Alicia. You should be a comedian. Seriously."

"Maybe in a different life, who knows?" she played along, trying to annoy him.

"Though I suppose the audience would be too distracted by your ugly face to listen to the jokes," he added, making her scoff.

"Asshole."

"Says you?"

"Yeah, to you."

They continued to bicker, all of it lighthearted and in good faith, and as Luciana said, she tuned it out and kept eating. I smiled a little, finding their insults to one another amusing, but it also saddened me a little, reminding me of my relationship with Y/S/N, or what it was once like before she started to change.

And just like that, the grief returned, washing over me like a tidal wave, and it only made me hurt more.

"I'm gonna get a head start on my chores," I said suddenly, losing my appetite and not wanting to be here anymore. "Thanks for the company."

As I stood up, about to leave, Alicia looked up at me with concerned eyes.

"Are you okay?" she asked, and I simply nodded, briefly meeting her gaze before looking away.

"All good. Thanks again." And with that, I left them to it, knowing the temporary happiness was too good to be true.

It was amazing how one thing could put me in a sour mood for the rest of the morning, even as I worked on feeding and washing the cattle with some of the others.

I'd almost felt like myself again, but it was snatched away in an instant, Y/S/N returning to mind. Again, I'd asked the patrols last night if they'd seen or heard anything about her, but still I was met with nothing. She was still out there and I was still in here with no choice but to stay.

Would this place every truly feel like a home to me?