#I read very few books these days
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#mine#doctor who#dwedit#david tennant#catherine tate#hi friends i haven't made gifs in a few days#very tiring week#i took my class on a field trip yesterday and it went well overall#but it was very exhausting!!!!#AND THEN i find out that report cards are due next week#and i haven't started on them yet yayyyy........ D:#so that's what i'll be doing all weekend sigh#i want to make faster progress on this book i'm reading#but it's been very slow going because whenever i try to read at bedtime#i fall asleep almost instantly because i'm so tired#so i'm gonna go try to read now!!! good night!!!!
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Nah, what do you MEAN they charged the alleged assassin of a corrupt rich business guy with terrorism and are keeping him in the same detention centre as fucking Diddy? Why didn't the CEO ever get charged with murder for denying countless of his clients, who had to fork over their hard earned money to his company, life saving treatment? Why didn't the goddamn rapist, predator and convicted felon proven guilty on 34 charges face any consequences and got to not only run for but win presidency? You're keeping this dude in the same detention centre as the serial abuser and rapist who ran a sex trafficking ring? Did I get that right? Bro, he only allegedly smoked ONE guy--
Like, literally Boeing very not-so-subtly assassinated not one, but TWO whistleblowers with ZERO repercussions not even that long ago (and that's not even bringing up all the other shady shit they've done that's killed hundreds of people before e.g The Boeing 737 MAX crashes), but assassinating a single CEO is where you draw the line and start relentlessly hunting down culprits? It really do be "when the rich kill poor people it's called business, but when the average joe kills one rich guy it's called terrorism". What even is the legal system, man.
#qrecent events#luigi mangione#brian thompson#boeing#got the news about it a few days ago and what the hell am i READING#my european ass cannot with that place you call america i swear to god#what's jeffery reimann's book called again? “the rich get richer and the poor get prison”? sounds about right#like i get this isn't just an america thing this is an everywhere thing but. man.#free that man i don't condone murder (mostly) but he absolutely gets a pass for this one because it was a net positive for everyone#nevermind the fact that it's very much likely that he didn't even do it 💀#this has been sitting in my drafts for a few days but i'm still flabbergasted like WHAT#momento rambles
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anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??
#okay incoming rant about this series#i read the first book when i was 10 or 11 and i was absolutely obssessed with it. i read it so many times i had the entire story memorized#the issue was that i could not find the rest of the series anywhere. it was either sold out or out of stock#and then i found out that only the first 3 books had been translated into my first language so at that point i kinda gave up on them#anyway#flashforward to a couple of weeks ago#i was re organizing my bookshelf and on the back i found LYKY (is this how y'all are abreviating it??)#and remembred how much i loved it#and since i'm now fluent in english and was stuck at home recovering from a surgery i decided to download the entire series and read it#to find out what the fuck happened afterwards#long story short i read all six books in 4 or 5 days#and i haven't stopped thinking about them since#it's actually so funny how little information we have in the first book#i went all of these years thinking it was mostly a silly series about a boarding school for spies when actually SO MUCH happens afterwards#i can't believe i went all of these years unaware of zach goode's existence#truly character of all time#but also i can't stop thinking about how interesting it would have been if zach had come to hate the circle and his mom during the series#rather than before#make it a true enemies to lovers#and have us witness that portion of his character developement in real time instead of being told about it#like him slowly realizing through cammie and his time at gallagher that maybe what they were doing is wrong#i think it would have been very interesting to read#although let's be real it took me until halfway through book four to trust him and he was fully one of the good guys so..#but yeah i have a lot more to say but these tags are long enough#gallagher girls#okay i just want to add another funny anecdote about my experience with this series#my copy of LYKY has an age warning in the back recomending that readers should be above 13 yo to read it#and i distinctly remember finishing it and thinking the warning was kind of dumb bcs besides a few mentions of death and other heavier topi#nothing really happened#and now i realize it was a warning for the rest of the series not just the first book because jesus fucking chirst everything after
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tease tidbit tuesday
tagged by @daffi-990 @dangerpronebuddie @sunshinediaz @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @exhuastedpigeon💖
don't have a lot of new stuff for the fics i've been sharing lately, so today smth different - coffee shop au is back! progress is constantly being made (slowly, but still lol) - so here's a lil buckley siblings moment (I haven't shared a buck and eddie moment in a minute lmao need to fix that soon haha)
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“What?” he rolls his eyes.
“You’re crushing so hard.” she teases, and he feels his cheeks heat up.
“Shut up.” Buck grumbles, as he grabs a cloth to wipe down the counter just to have something to do. “Not like it matters anyway, he has someone.”
“Really?” Maddie frowns, tilts her head. “Did he tell you that?”
“Not in so many words.”
“So how do you know?” she prods.
“He ordered for two people.” he says, and only when Maddie laughs, he realizes how stupid and presumptive that is. It could be for anyone, even for himself. Hell, Buck would often order something for himself and for Maddie. Didn’t Eddie say he had an abuela and a tia here? “Shut up, I know.” he groans and covers his face with his hands – and the dirty cloth that’s still in his hand.
“Ew, gross.” Maddie chuckles and pries the cloth out of his hand, dumping it on the counter. “You can be so dense sometimes.” she shakes her head. “When Eddie saw you today, his face literally lit up. He’s been waiting for you to get him his coffee, even though I could’ve done it. If you ask me, he’s crushing, too.”
“Good thing no one asked you.” Buck mutters, and Maddie playfully swats at his arm. “Ow!”
“Just ask him out, Buck, what’s the worst that could happen?” Maddie asks, before turning away just as the door opens and a customer walks in.
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no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @transbuck @911onabc @housewifebuck @watchyourbuck @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @puppyboybuckley @weewootruck @loveyouanyway @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @hoodie-buck @nmcggg @jesuisici33 @rogerzsteven @hippolotamus @fortheloveofbuddie @steadfastsaturnsrings @disasterbuckdiaz @tizniz @theotherbuckley @diazsdimples @giddyupbuck
#tease tidbit tuesday#wip wednesday#buddie coffee shop au#buddie wip#buddie fic#buddie#wikiangela writes#my writing#fic snippet#my wips#i so need to get on with it bc buck's about to meet chris and i can't wait to write that#and also im so excited to get to the madney part of it#had a day off but didn't write a word today lol#but got a new tattoo and read like a hundred pages of the 1st bridgerton book while my mom was getting her tattoo#so overall a productive day haha#last few snippets were very 'every dynamic but buddie' but i'll get back to them lol
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ok wait i need to hear more of your thoughts on peeta owning a bakery....
This is one of those rare times where I’m pretty sure this anon isn’t someone I know personally bc I’ve subjected anyone who will listen to my rant about the Peeta Bakery Headcanon. Anyway, you’re gonna regret asking this anon bc there are fucking Layers here.
I know this is probably a controversial take based on the number of fics where I’ve seen it, but I simply do not think that Peeta would open a commercial bakery after Mockingjay!! Like on a metatextual level, I don’t think it really fits with the point of the ending of the series. It actually sort of fascinates me that it’s just such a common headcanon because the ending of Mockingjay is exceedingly vague. I think that vagueness invites us, as readers, to imagine a better world post-revolution. A world where Katniss would feel confident that her children would be safe from injustice, where she’d feel confident that her children would never know want the way she did as a child. A just world. A kinder world. Can a capitalist society ever be just? Is a capitalist society where a disabled teenager has no other means to subsist himself (or feels like there’s no other way he can be a contributing member of his community) really the post-revolution world we dream of? Is that really the best we can imagine?
(This got so insanely long I’m adding a read more lmao)
I get that showing a better world is not always the point of post-mockingjay headcanons/fics. Like there are plenty of really great post-mockingjay fics I’ve seen where, yeah, part of the fic is that society like ISN’T all that different or all that much better. I’ve seen that really well done! Hell, I’ve written them myself! It’s easy to imagine how a lot of aspects of society would not get an overhaul, a lot of the same structural inequalities would continue to exist. One headcanon that really stuck with me (I can’t remember which fic it was from) was that Peeta sells basically mail order baked goods to people on the Capitol, sending them iced cakes and pastries by train, because there are still people who were “fans” of theirs during the Games. And idk this doesn’t actually have much to do with my point lol but I liked it because it’s kind of fucked up and like! Yeah! It makes sense! If he needed money that would be a good way to make it! War often makes people rich, often for horrible reasons, and often it’s people who already have capital in the first place.
Anyway, more about the hypothetical bakery because alright. I bring up the fact that “yeah society not being all that different post-revolution and still being an unjust capitalist hellscape” could be a reason why Peeta re-opens a bakery because that’s actually never the types of fics where I see the bakery headcanon. Fics where Peeta opens a bakery are usually trying to make the exact opposite point. Like. Things are getting better, now he can open a bakery! Look at how much better the world is now, plus he’s got a bakery! Peeta is healing, that’s why he can open a bakery now! And I am so, so sorry to inform everyone who’s never had the grave misfortune of owning a family business, but there is truly nothing further from the truth lmao. Like just putting aside the immense amount of emotional baggage that Peeta has about his family, running a small business is an insane amount of work in any context and being a baker especially is physically grueling and involves early hours (and long hours) that aren’t really the best fit with the multiple ways that Peeta is disabled now. (I could go into this more because I have a lot of thoughts. But I will spare you.). I also think it’s seen throughout the books that Peeta is someone who needs time to pursue creative outlets to process his feelings and someone who values leisure and values quality time with his loved ones. And having grown up in his family’s bakery, I think he’d understand the reality that running a bakery wouldn’t leave much space of those pursuits and wouldn’t leave much space for him to have the things that keep him healthy and stable. I think he’d know that the way he is now— after two Games and the war and unspeakable torture at the hands of a dictator—isn’t compatible with the lifestyle necessary for running a commercial bakery.
And tbh with that in mind, I don’t think he’d push himself to re-open a business (one that would be a constant reminder of his dead family and his complicated relationships with them that got no closure) that would require him to sacrifice his physical and emotional well-being. Like I think he might look into the possibility, I think he might even start trying to open a bakery out of a sense of obligation/duty, maybe harboring some idea that this is who he was supposed to be, who he would've been without the Games, or that it’s this last piece of his family that can live on, or that it’s this last connection to his family so he can’t let it die too. But ultimately, I think any attempt to open a bakery wouldn’t get very far. Maybe he'd start wading into the logistical nightmare that is small business ownership and realize it's not for him (because it's probably also true that as much as him and his brothers were involved in the business, there's almost certainly parts they weren't involved with and didn't see, i.e., filing taxes). Or maybe looking into opening a bakery— how triggering it is, the stress of it— causes a downward spiral. Maybe he hates how much he's worrying everyone by unraveling. Maybe having a breakdown from the stress of just trying to open a bakery makes him realize, yeah, maybe in another life he would have ran his family’s bakery but the way he is now just doesn’t work with running a bakery, not without great sacrifices he's not willing to make. I just can’t see a bakery coming to fruition.
I know a lot of fics include Peeta deciding to reopen a bakery as a big step in his healing or include him rebuilding a bakery as part of his healing process but honestly, I think the opposite would be more true: I think Peeta either trying/failing to open a bakery or ultimately deciding not to open a bakery would be hugely healing for him. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way he is now as a person, his new limitations but also his strengths. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way his life his now and accepting that he likes his life the way it is, that he’s satisfied with his life without needing to own a bakery. I think it would be an important part of him coming to terms with the loss of his family. I think he knows he can never have things back as they were and I don’t think he would try to recreate them, especially because his family’s legacy isn’t a business. I think he’s emotionally intelligent enough and self reflective enough to realize that what mattered to him about the bakery— taking care of others by feeding them, being integrated into his community and being actively involved in it, brightening people’s days with delightful things whether that’s beautiful cakes or hearty food or delicious treats— and the things he learned from his family through the bakery, are things that he can carry on in other meaningful ways.
(Do you regret sending this ask yet, anon? Because if not, you will soon. I’m not done yet. There’s more.)
I wasn’t really sure where to put this next part in what is rapidly becoming an essay because it sort of combines the points about like “what do we imagine a post-mockingjay society to look like” with the practical difficulties of starting this bakery but here’s another thing: do people really think that the Mellarks owned the land the bakery was on?? Like, sure, the merchants are the petit bourgeois of Twelve but I still don’t imagine they really own anything. In a society where houses are assigned to people upon marriage, where property ownership and capital are so closely interconnected with citizenship (as shown by the Plinths who, by having immense capital, are able to leave their District and become citizens of the Capitol) do people really think the Mellarks would be allowed to own the land their bakery is on?? I always imagined it sort of like a tenant farming situation: the Capitol gives them the raw materials for the bakery and in return the bakery give them some absurdly high portion of their profits, or the Capitol sells them a year’s supply of raw materials at a premium on credit and at the end of the year the Mellarks have to use the money they made with those materials to pay it back, except it’s never enough to turn a profit so they always have to buy next year’s materials on credit and the cycle continues.
We (understandably) get a really skewed view of the merchant class through Katniss’s perspective so I can see why people come to the conclusion that his family owned the property and, as the last surviving member, he would’ve inherited it. I’ve seen the inheritance thing in fics a lot or a hand wavey “well Twelve was decimated to no one owns anything anymore so it can be his” or even like an almost sort of reparations type situation where he’s entitled to the land as a surviving refugee of Twelve. But I don’t know. I guess I don’t think it fits with everything else we know about Panem that the Mellarks would’ve owned that land and I think the question of whether the government would’ve let him take ownership of the land post-revolution brings up a lot of issues about the structure of society post-Mockingjay that I find more interesting to explore in other ways, especially when, from an emotional perspective, 1) I find the idea of Peeta not opening a bakery more compelling and 2) I don’t think it really fits his character arc by the end of Mockingjay to reopen a bakery, as I went on about at length above lol.
On the flip side: literally who cares!! Do whatever you want!! Headcanon whatever you want!! I get why people go for the bakery!! It’s fun, it’s wholesome, it’s a built in bakery AU that isn’t even an AU. It doesn’t matter if it’s practical or realistic!! It doesn’t need to be practical or realistic!! It’s fanfic of a dystopian YA series!! My unfortunate affliction is that I grew up in a family that owned a restaurant and that I have multiple degrees in the social sciences so I can’t see the bakery without being like “What about the overheard? What about the start up costs? Who’s spending long nights balancing the books? Is Peeta covering shifts when an employee calls in sick? Is Peeta the sole person working there until the bakery is open long enough (often a year or more) to start turning a profit? How does that sleep schedule work with his nightmares? How does that work with Katniss’s nightmares? What happens when he has an episode and suddenly needs to take the day off before he has any employees? Does the bakery just remain closed for the day? Can the profit margins withstand regular unexpected closures? Can the supplies withstand regular unexpected closures?” And if the answer is “Elliott none of those things matter he’s not doing the bakery because he needs the money but because he wants to”, then my question is why does he want to? Does he not get the same sort of satisfaction out of feeding his loved ones? Doesn’t Peeta seem like someone who would rather give away baked goods than sell them?? Doesn’t Peeta seem like someone who would prefer to make cakes for people’s special occasions upon and then when they insist on paying him for it, he only lets them “pay for the ingredients” which actually cost significantly more than he says they did??
So yeah my point is that it’s a matter of personal taste! It doesn’t fit the way I see the series but that doesn’t mean it’s like wrong, I’m not an authority on Peeta lmao.
It’s also a matter of personal taste in the sense that I find the themes that most resonate with me at the end of Mockingjay (and the end of Peeta’s arc specifically) more interesting to explore in other ways. Grief, living with loss, relearning yourself, finding hope, figuring out your place in a dramatically different world when you don’t even know who you are anymore, healing, building a new life after such complete and total destruction of your old life— those are all things I find compelling about the end of Mockingjay but for me the bakery isn’t the most compelling way to explore them.
Not to say I find the concept of the bakery totally uninteresting. I have this fic about Johanna that I’ll probably never finish where the point sort of is that, yeah, her life really isn’t all that much better after the war. It’s been years at this point and she’s still miserable and she doesn’t know how to be a person but by the end she’s trying to figure it out. And towards the end, Peeta tells her that he’s spent years sort of passively, half-heartedly trying to figure out how to inherit the land his family’s bakery was on, only to find out it was never theirs in the first place. They’d been renting it the whole time and he’d never even known as a kid. So he sort of passively, half-heartedly went on another wild goose chase to find the owner and now, finally, after years of writing to various government agencies and being sent in circles and things being barely functional, he’s managed to track down the owner. Now it’s owned by the daughter of the man who owned it when he was a kid because the original owner (who was likely up to some sketchy war crime shit) died during the war and she inherited it (the irony…). He got in contact with her and asked how much it would take for her to sell it and she told him she’s not interested in selling but in light of the situation, in light of the fact that he’d have to build a new building in order to operate a bakery, that she’d cut him a deal— she’d only require 50% of the bakery’s profits as rent instead of the 80% his family used to pay. And of course Johanna is outraged, that’s not right, the owner shouldn’t be allowed to do that, they should do something about it, they should fight back. And Peeta is like. Not interested. He was actually sort of relieved that opening wasn’t very feasible. Getting the answer was a lightbulb moment where he saw that over the years of trying to look into this, he’s built a life that he likes— one where he’s stable, where his loved ones are stable, where he’s cared for and can care for others— and he doesn’t really want to change it drastically by opening a bakery anyway. He just needed an answer, one way or another, before he could get some closure and move on. (And the point of the conversation is Johanna is having her own lightbulb moment that it’s okay to move on, it’s okay to change, it’s not a betrayal of the people and things she’s lost but that’s not my point here!!).
But anyway. That’s obviously not about running the bakery— it’s about the choice to not run one.
Anyway!! Anyway… are you satisfied anon? Is this what you wanted?
Lastly, here is my most important qualm with the bakery headcanon: must Peeta be gainfully employed? Is it not enough for him to be Katniss’s boytoy? Can’t he just paint and garden and bake and hang out with his girlfriend all day? Is that really too much to ask?
#peeta mellark#thg#the hunger games#the hunger games meta#anyway wow this got so long and I literally read it through one (1) time so uhhh sorry if this makes no sense!!#as I was doing my one read through and realized that one of my other thoughts on this is that yeah I can much more easily see the#headcanon that peeta like sells baked goods (probably at cost with no profit) out of his kitchen because that’s much more flexible#and I think that would work a lot better with what like I guess I’d call his psychiatric disability post mockingjay#and how he’d certainly want to take care of Katniss too#like that sort of flexibility makes a lot more sense for him and it’s like. if he doesn’t bake for a few days or however long then it’s fin#it’s not a formal brick and mortar business#it’s just something he’s doing because it’s a way to be involved with people and a way to do something he’s passionate about#without there being waste and while covering some of the costs#and he doesn’t have to like keep books or do payroll or any of the things I can’t see him being very passionate about#as far as like bakery management goes Lmao he can just bake!!#but then I started getting into this whole thing about how that quote-unquote ‘running a business’ like that (informally from your house)#is actually a really common practice for people living in poverty so probably something that Katniss and peeta would’ve been familiar wirh#anyway and then this whole rant about how the emphasis on the brick and mortar bakery often goes hand in hand with#this widespread fandom thing of having a fundamental misunderstanding of how rural poverty works and what it looks like#but then I was too deep into it and said you know what? never mind! and deleted it lmao
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#beautiful things list in the tags#so i can remember a day that seemed full of them#going to the religious bookstore and finding lots of things (the beautiful advent wreath!)#quick trip to the library and picking up a couple of middle grade books on a whim#(short things that don't add much to the overwhelming tbr but add a bit of joy into the options list)#going to wendy's and getting a lime coke#listening to fascinating religious history things that opened up new ideas and made new connections with what i'd been reading#wedding dress shopping with my sister#in a cute little shop with nice staff#where i felt like my input was helpful#wandering a bit in a city we never go to#in a rainy chilly late night atmosphere that felt very hallmark christmas movie#(in a good cozy way not in the over-the-top christmas decorations way)#thrift shopping and finding a lightweight sweater that fills a need in my wardrobe#(since we've had a warm year that limits me to only a few of my sweaters)#coming home and finding that a book i ordered had arrived#lots of lovely poem recommendations and conversations#some sights on a rainy day that filled me with that fantasy sort of awe and longing#seeing a distant shore through a fog that looked like an ancient castle rising up out of the mist#a hill of plants topped with crimson leaves that looked like a fabric or wallpaper pattern come to life#it was just a day filled with a lot of beauty#and i made a conscious effort to notice it#one of those days you want to keep
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went to a comic store today and saw individual issues of idw sonic in person for the first time ever btw . epic win
#not that ive never been to a comic shop before its just the only.one thats anywhere near me#is one i didnt know existed until like a year ago because its in a weird spot#and their hours are very incompatible with the days/times im actually able to go around shopping#and ive also been to other places that sell comics they just never hvae idw sonic#ANYWAYS i got to go today and they had sonic yayyy . and i also got an issue of monster high new scaremester#because ive really been wanting to read that one and havent been able to find it online like . at all. nobody is archiving that thing ....#i only got issue 2 though because they were out of issue 1#and i didnt have a single chance to check for issue 1 when it came out. because of the previously mentioned scheduling curse#nervous that i actually spent money on it because idk if im even gonna like it#ive heard mixed reviews on it and the book that its a continuation of . but fuck it we ball#also if this store carries sonic idk how i never saw it before because i Have been a couple times in the past#maybe they just now started getting it recently?? or just happened to be out the last few times?? idk
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au where Obi-Wan is an outer-mid rim archaeologist and Anakin is a looter (sorry, opportunist), and they meet at a cantina and hook up without knowing what the other does — but halfway through the night, Obi-Wan spots a very old and oddly recognizable figurine sticking out of Anakin’s bag and spends the rest of the sex trying to figure out what it is and how he knows it only to realize that that’s definitely something that belongs to the Sevanth sector of the galaxy and can be dated back a thousand years based on the position of the figurine and the type of metal material used to make it and why the hell does this random stranger at a cantina have this???
so obviously he calls the sex off to go and grab the object and look at it (“hey hey careful with that do you know what that’s worth?”) and realizes a few things very quickly:
The Sevanth sector is one of the most dangerous to enter in the entire outer-mid rim, surrounded by a thick asteroid belt, so Anakin must be very good at his job even if his job is distasteful and against Obi-Wan’s principles.
And more importantly he may be the perfect person to get Obi-Wan access first into that sector and then to a specific planet archaeologists haven’t been able to land on for a thousand years: Emaeth, which by all accounts disappeared thousands of years ago, though the planet once was the political seat of the sector and perhaps its neighboring sectors as well
He just has to figure out how to convince Anakin to escort him (hint: it’s with sex but also the promise of a lot of credits. But mostly sex)
#Kit’s silly lil AUs#obikin#I just love the idea of a very fiery and angry conversation while they’re mostly naked#each defending their own work and arguing with each other#but still like almost in the middle of sex lol#also yeah I went to Pompeii a few days ago and read a whole book about the looters in the years between the eruption and excavation#but anyway anakin has definitely already been there or close to there and he doesn’t think there’s much left but sure he’ll take#hot professor there if hot professor wants to go
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From now on, I declare The Mirror Visitor is a trilogy. There's no fourth book, trust me. Just enjoy the first three and move on <3
#i finished the storm of echoes a few days ago and bro#it's just not it.#at first i excused it thinking maybe i'm just too dumb for the plot - which is very much possible and fine -#but honestly? even if thats the case - possibly it is -#it's still unnecessarily complicated and complex#random characters have such great importance even over the ones you know from book one#and I can't help but feel bitter about it#like who the hell is this kid who appeared like in a few chapters and now it'd literally > the answer ™<??????#and also that ending is so bad#so so so bad#i love christelle and the books became so dear to me#i do have the apparent controversial opinion that each book is better than the previous one#but then the fourth happens and omg#it reminds me why i dont read series anymore#the storm of echoes#the mirror visitor#christelle dabos
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got tired of all the misanthropic customer service memes, I love getting to talk to people of all walks of life and getting to help them out and learning about regulars' lives. people are wonderful and diverse and kind and the handful of mean ones can't ruin that
#I enjoy working saturday mornings bc that's when we get the most customers#of course I also very much like days when we get very few and I can read a book or something#but I love talking to these people#and some of them really seem to need someone to talk to#especially older people who live alone are beaming when I can give them 10 minutes of my day to have a chat#or show some patience when they're confused or lost#what a privilege to bring small mundane joys and get paid for it
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
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"In my heart, I worry about Mother and want to be a good daughter, but my words and actions are nothing more than that of a spoiled child. And lately, there hasn't been a single redeeming quality about this childlike me."
#uhh this was in schoolgirl by Dazai Osamu. i was reading a transalation online a few days ago its a very good book#most relatable protagonist award goes to this girl#yumey dreams up words
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kinda late on this but it’s 37 years since the first episode of series 2, one of my favourite early Casualty episodes, A Little Lobbying aired!
montage scene I think is fun (followed by what you might not think is hospital-politics-based flirting, but absolutely is that):
#featuring walls come tumbling down which is a tune#potentially weird thing to know: this is one of very few scenes where sandra wears trousers instead of a skirt outside work!#at work she wears almost exclusively the trousers version of the uniform (except for moonlight becomes you)#late because i have been reading this DULL book i usually aim to get my reading done in the afternoon but i keep procrastinating this one#i have a 50 pages every day requirement :/ i like public history a lot it’s super interesting this book is just boring#bbc casualty
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Hi kit! Any books recs or your favourite ones? I’ve been having a thought time at uni and I need a break
hmmm well not sure what you're in the mood for, but i just read what we fed to the manticore and i cannot recommend it enough!!! it's not exactly lighthearted but it is really touching, approaching environmental conservation and even military oppression through the perspective of animals. i also finally just finished pageboy, which took me some time to read but i recommend it if you're interested in celeb memoirs (emphasis on celeb memoir; while i liked page's stream of consciousness about his experiences, it's very raw and lacking introspection, imo. but still worth a read if you're interested).
otherwise i don't have much to recommend that i haven't already before, i'm trying to really get back into reading consistently this year (and reading books that are actually good lol) a lot of the books i read last year weren't really good enough for me to want to recommend.
but i did really like minor detail, but if you're looking for a break maybe skip it for now as it's a very heavy read. if you're looking for a quick and weird extreme horror book then i'd recommend to be devoured.
i'm now reading i shudder at your touch which i linked a few days ago, i'm about 3 stories in and i've really enjoyed the second and third one (sea lovers was like right up my alley), but the first one is kinda a slog to get through (or not, if you like stephen king i guess)
#im also like 4 pages into house of hunger so i cant really say anything about it yet. but i am reading it#and im reading cobalt red but ive been put in time out by spotify and ran out of audiobook minutes so. i cant read anymore of that#for like 8 more days lol#like i said unfortunately most of the books i read last year simply. were not very good#aside from the few ive already recommended before#its hard for me to say any favorite books bc its been so long since ive read some of these#who knows if they hold up....#i used to be obsessed with the night circus by erin morgenstern tho. i should reread that bc i dont really remember much#i also always recommend the southern reach trilogy#ask#anonymous
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Took a lil excerpt from an SCP fic for a Creative Writing workshop and it was kinda insane how nearly half of the (admittedly small) class got super hyped when they realized it was SCP. Four different people started talking over each other trying to explain what SCP even was to an increasingly confused professor who thought it was a writing prompt site. We started excitedly debating the Foundation’s ethics while everyone else just quietly sat there absolutely confused.
The girl next to me searched up 682 bc we got on the subject and she just scrolled through google images like what the hell?? What’s wrong w that dinosaur????
#Feels like a that happened story but honestly that class was the exact demographic#I got very little feedback since I got bumped up a day and no one really read it much but#Hey the few people that skimmed it liked it so that’s a win in my books#Scp#scp foundation#fan fic writing#Scp foundation#scp fandom
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man i love reading why don’t i make myself do this more?
i put my playlist on, tuck into bed, grab a good book. and as someone with an overactive imagination/habit of maladaptive daydreaming it’s such a healthy way to put that wandering mind to work? i always feel like i’m watching a movie when i read. i get so absorbed into it, and with my music on its like having a soundtrack (even if it doesn’t match) today i actually got back from switching my laundry over and had the thought “let’s get back to my movie” before i remembered that i had been reading and not watching something. everything is so vivid in my head and i never want to leave these little worlds
#ramble on exie#seriously need to read more#so good for my brain. i don’t do it nearly enough and that sucks#i was voracious growing up. never put books down#i got in trouble for reading during class a few times growing up lol#i used to work ahead in some of my classes so that i could spend the class periods reading#i read during every break in the school day#(this is probably why i had very few friends lol. i ignored my classmates for my headphones and books)#this is why i’m excited to start donating plasma again- i get to block out afternoons for resting/reading
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