#nervous that i actually spent money on it because idk if im even gonna like it

[sonknuxadow]

went to a comic store today and saw individual issues of idw sonic in person for the first time ever btw . epic win

[herakosmos]

@dreamyjaems: “hi babycakes!! i loved your “target headcannons” and it was so enjoyable to read! i was having a rough night, so reading it brought a huge smile on my face 🥰 so if you don’t mind, could you do the “target” headcannons but with goshiki and atsumu! thank you very much and i hope you have a lovely day! i look forward to reading more things from you and good luck on your blog! 💓”

hi bb! ty for the kind words🥺 im glad it made your night <33 you’re my first request, so im kinda nervous😭

im not too familiar w/ goshiki and atsumu, so i’m sorry if they’re ooc :((( i really hope you like it tho!

going to target w/ their s/o

{hcs for goshiki and atsumu}

goshiki

“BABE!!! i’ll go get your favorite cereal brand for you!”

✰ would run all the way across the store just for your favorite type of cereal LMAO

✰ when he comes back PLS praise him 🥺

“goshiki you’re so sweet how did you know?”

✰ stands proudly, chest out and smiles ear to ear

“well..i always see you eating this type of cereal in the morning!”

✰ he would probably get really flustered from pda, so don’t do it unless you’re ready for an overheated baby

✰ pushes the cart for you the moment you guys enter target and would insist to push it until the very end of the trip

✰ IF you’re feeling a little mean today, your hand would “accidentally” intertwine with his on the handle bar

✰ goshiki.exe has stopped working

“u-um y/n what are you doing?”

✰ HIS WHOLE FACE TURNS SO RED POOR BABY

“nothing, i just want to push the cart with you” :)

✰ tries to loosen up a bit, but his heart would be pounding so much that it’s the only thing he could hear <\3

✰ still tries to suck it up and look like it’s not making him sweat at all (even though it is)

✰ he’ll get anything and everything for you

✰ no matter what height you are, goshiki would still want to grab the items on the highest shelf just to impress you. he’ll put it in the cart so proudly knowing how cool that was of him

✰ sometimes it’ll either leave him with a proud smirk or a face of defeat when you aren’t looking HABQAHBSAHS

“did you see that y/n!?”

“huh? what do you mean baby?”

✰ you’ll leave him stunned and kinda hurt tbh

✰ this won’t stop him from trying though!!!

✰ i feel like goshiki would also want to check out the sports section. his eyes would automatically land on the children sports gear and turn soft. he would get MAJOR baby fever from the sight of it and immediately turn to you about it

“BAB-“

“i know what you’re thinking goshiki and nows not the right time to talk about it” 

“BUT”

“goshiki -.-”

“yes ma’am!”

✰ salutes you cutely and that leaves you in a giggling mess. he loves to do dorky actions just to make you laugh and he succeeds every time🙈

✰ probably thinks about what ushijima gets from each aisle you guys pass through. even though you always remind him he doesn’t need to BE like him in order to beat him lmao

✰ 100% pays for everything. he flexed his money and bought $100+ worth of junk food

✰ practically broke afterwards, but doesn’t really care because it was spent on you🥺🥺

✰ going back to the car, he’ll put you in the cart too with the grocery bags like kuroo, but would do it to only show off how strong he is haha

“baby are you sure this is fine?!”

✰ HE’LL BE GOING SO FAST SOMEONE SLOW HIS ASS DOWN 

“DON’T WORRY MY LOVE THIS IS NOTHING”

✰ he of course would start to load the car for you. maybe roll up his sleeves just a tad for you to see his ya’know 👉💪😼

✰ you’d be so grateful to have this little bean like??? he’s so sweet :(

✰ you of course had to do something in return. before goshiki could even say a word out of his mouth, you connected his lips with yours for a light peck. his eyes would be WIDE open while receiving it omg

✰ goshiki: 👁💋👁

“thank you for everything today goshiki….i love you”

✰ AWH CRAP GOSHIKI STOPPED WORKING AGAIN

✰ the kiss made him blush 10x more than from inside the store and starts to muster up a sentence to try and say how he wants another one

“m-maybe we c-could do that a-again?”

✰ of couse you would give another one for the cutie. this time he actually lets it last for at least 5 secs before letting you go

“i love you too baby...always!!”

atsumu

✰ you being his first ever long term s/o, going out to target with his partner was a first for him. atsumu honestly just came because he had nothing else to do...or at least that’s what he told you

✰ atsumu is a man of physical contact, so expect A LOT of pda. he honestly doesn’t give a fuck😭 he’s THAT ballsy to try anything in public

✰ he would be the type to put his arm around your waist while in the midst of choosing between two snacks. this little punk would slowly start to trail his hand lower...and lower....and low-

✰*SMACK*

✰ you smacked his hand off before he could do anything perverted😭 boy would be sorta pissed at either the fact you didn’t let him do what he wanted to do or because you slapped his hand wayy too hard and its turning red now JANXNC

✰ although atsumu can be protective, you can’t be protected from his jabs of teases and pranks lmao

✰ he would purposely take an item out of the cart and put it on a random shelf until you’ll notice something is missing 

✰ when he sees you getting all riled up or show some sort of irritation he can’t help but admire how cute you look all mad. doesn’t try to show any expression though and hides it with a smirk

✰ 100% only does it to get a reaction outta you😭

✰ drags guides the cart to the toy section and checks to see if they have any cool action figures (idk why but i feel like he would collect those kinda stuff)

✰ turns out there’s only those science toys

✰ (kuroo?👀)

“why is there only fucking science shit”

“HUN there’s children next to us don’t say that”

✰ looks at the children and then back at you with a lazy smirk

“ffffffuuckkk” says it in slow-motion 

✰ AHAHAHAHAHSHXHCHH

✰ omg you would just roll your eyes at his immaturity and leave him there with the clueless children 😭😭

“awww come on princess don’t be like that, i'm just teasing”

✰ another eye roll came from your face at how stupid he is, but can’t hold back a small giggle as well

✰ ah how he loves that adorable giggle of yours

✰ the sole reason for this target trip was to look for furniture and it was the LAST stop you guys took from this whole time

✰ atsumu would straight up lounge on a couch even though it would say do not sit on it’s only for display

✰ AGAIN mans does not give a flying fuck he does what he wants😎

✰ if an employee tries to tell him to get off his reply would be:

“if i wanna buy it, my ass needs to approve”

“babe! i don’t think there’s anything here that’s nice we should look somewhere else”

“ahh seems like my princess and my ass doesn’t seem to approve this leather couch of yours we’ll be writing reviews on yelp”

✰ hey, his baby didn’t find what they wanted 🤷‍♀️

✰ rumor has it the employee’s jaw is dropped to the ground till this day lmao

✰ once you reach the check-out area and pay for the junks you got, you put the groceries into the cart and atsumu squishes your face to stop you 

“babe, we’ll find you a pretty couch in no time”

✰ not gonna lie you were kinda bummed from not finding anything

“i know just what to do to make you happy again”

✰ debby ryan smirks 🌚🌚

✰ he immediately lets go of your face and starts jogging towards the lines of carts to get one for himself.

“lets race!”

✰ your face immediately lit up from the request of a pisshead (who wouldn’t want to wipe that smirk off of that handsome face🙃)

✰ you two both started to race each other on carts towards the car and you won. he probably would say he made you win on purpose just because you were a bit pouty

✰ laughter filled the air from how THIS was his way of cheering you up. it was so cute for him to “lose” for you 

“babe you’re such a loser” 

✰ your lips suddenly met his cheek for a light peck

✰ you thought it didn’t really faze him until he asked you to slap both of his cheeks till they turned red

✰ the only reason he told you to do that was to hide the fact his cheeks were burning from that tiny peck LMAO

taglist: (i’ll add more in the future!🥺)

@deadontheinsidebut @kat-writes-haikyuu @lovetsuki

want to request hcs or a matchup? here are the rules!

[delta-magnetic]

soooo i might've been thinking about a certain some ask game again and decided, fuck it ima answer all the questions that im actually able to lol

i've done 5, 16 and 17 already but to add onto the latter two:

16. here's another 3 because yes- Welcome Home (Sanitarium), Ronnie, and Dirty Window

17. I HAVE MORE NOW BITCHES. now have Master of Puppets, Load and Death Magnetic! AND Cunning Stunts!

alright rest under a cut lol you know i love to ramble

1. (fun fact this question is why i was thinking about this again lol) AAAAAA i shall say, lars! i'm sure meeting any of them i'd be nervous/a little awkward, but i think lars would do best at diffusing that. plus getting to hear him go on and on about whatever, in person?? yes please

2. i have made, shitposts galore (and also 2 uquiz's, the most recent one actually being all around good lol)

3. also thought abt this one a few times since seeing it hmmm, a few come to mind, but you know what i think would be fun? struggle within on drums. i'm sure that intro is a recorded thing if/when it's ever done live, but lets just imagine. plus for me personally? i know i literally have a guitar in my room, but drums seem fun, and when i think drums + metallica, besides some of the obvious answers (one, master of puppets), this song is what i think

6. i'm sure most would go for ultimullet here, but you know what i'm gonna pick? 2019 james. i always want to put my hands in his hair but like, something about '19,,, soft old man ilu

7. i have not seen it! though i've heard it's good, might have to watch it someday

8. definitely museum with lars. dude loves art and would just be giving out insight galore! not bendy or strong enough for kirk or rob, and while i love james and also taking walks, i would be slow and idk if he'd wait up for me fjkdblsksnj

9. holy shit there are, so many... could go for any of the songs from Load yet to be played live tbh, but my answer shall be Devils Dance!

10. i'll admit, haven't listened to all of garage inc yet, but i really like Die, Die My Darling!

11. again haven't heard many of these, but omf their cover of 53rd and 3rd is [chefs kiss]

12. maybe an obvious answer, but st anger. it's weird, i really like the first half of it off the album, but then after that??? eh?? but live puts some of that missing, emotion?, into the 2nd half i'm wanting (plus yknow, SOLO !!!!)

14. oh lort. again, so many. im srry i cannot pick kjnfsdbkj, but i will say i know i'd pick somewhere in missouri! which seems kinda lame, but getting to say i've seen metallica in my home state would be pretty cool

15. you're tearing me apart dude!! i know it's a pretty typical answer, but black album! i wouldn't even call it my favorite album, but sound wise? definite favorite

18. i don't have much, but i really do live in that master of puppets shirt. it's comfy, one of my friends bought it for me because i didn't bring any money (not expecting to want to buy anything lol), and it was my first metallica thing i ever owned!

20. tickets to a show, i cross out but tbh, it's true! other than maybe s&m (1 or 2), yea collecting is cool but i'm not chomping at the bit to own every single album actually! wanna have the ones i'll actually listen to regularly yknow?

24. tbh lars with any of them would be a treat, but having to concretely pick pairs? lars and james, kirk and rob. lars and james are so many years of friendship, they both always have something neat to say, and having them bounce off each other in an interview would be cool. kirk doesn't speak that often, and i think getting him with rob would get him a little more chatty perhaps

...oh you also asked what i'd ask lol. idk man, especially to lars n james. maybe to kirk and rob i'd ask if either of them like, found new/different artists they liked through each other (since i know they both have pretty varied music tastes)

25. i am answering these all at 1 in the morning, so maybe i'd be able to think a bit more if i did this at a more reasonable time, but either way holyf a lot from Halo On Fire. just to pick one?

I fear to turn on the light // For the darkness won’t go away

26. hmm again, 1 am, head is kiiiinda no thoughts head empty for some reason?? though luckily not too empty, bc just sitting here thinking for a second, Bleeding Me just popped to mind?

27. ooooo, if they were just on their own (not with family or friends) i'd probably try my best to not freak out and just be like "hey i love your music"

...and maybe ask for a hug

28. tbh i want to dress like cliff lmao, but my actual fashion sense? think like, current kirk but if he did not spent 600 bucks on everything and generally toned down a LOT (keep the graphic tees tho)

29. oh i can't remember who said it, but someone said something like, whenever they'd screw something up in the studio, cliff would just, look at them so disappointed njdfsbnkl

30. almost definitely kirk i'd say. i'm super shy, but if you get me talking about something i really like? unlikely to stop

31. YOU ARE MEAN !!!! my answer though, shall be kirk n lars! you want reasons? they're just neat!!!!!!!!

33. nah, if anything just because i don't have any of the social medias they're really on

34. hmm, not that i can think of?? partially because i haven't seen a ton of their inner-workings type deals, and they seem alright

35. just going general here, but memory remains. i just do not like that song for some reason

36. ...you know what idk how long this will even get but this post is already long enough so screw it this is getting it's own post lmao

37. tbh any of the more "moody" songs? like especially older ones, particularly Fade to Black and One. idk even what mood i need to be in to listen to them, but definitely not a regular-casual listening one

38. lowkey made a whole post about this lmao, but for a short answer for here: my uncle playing (the song) master of puppets whenever i was in the truck with him!

39. [looks at all of you very lovingly]

40. oh for sure. a few months ago i was out of town and, not having a good time. and putting on some metallica songs made me feel a lot more at ease

[softstraykidsimagines]

Boyfriend!Hyunjin

A/N: SHE PROTECC

SHE ATTACC

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY

SHE BACC

HI GUYS!!! I’m so happy to be posting again i cry :,)  i hope you enjoy!!!! i;ll be updating as much as i can without rushing too much :D

MASTERLIST

Prepare your wigs peeps

This is gonna make me swerve

I mean

cmon it’s Hyunjin

Let’s do this!

Prince Hyunjin

Is actually smooth af with his crush

He'll complement you whenever he gets the chance

Or gives you food

Basically your knight in shining armor

Ye, that’s not what actually happens

He's smiling like an idiot and about collapse when he’s with you because HE'S FREAKING OUT OK

So freaking nervous his heartbeat is always up when he’s with you

You sometimes think he’s about to have a heart attack and you’re not stupid you know why lmao

Same for when he confesses

At first he’s pretty calm about it

Just casually asked if you wanted to see a movie with him some time

“Like... a-as more than friends?”

You'd kinda expected it so you weren't too shocked when he asked you

So you said yes

Duh

And he does a double take

"Wait.... Are you serious? You want to?"

"Well yeah?"

"WHAT WHY"

Was good with flirting but didn't actually think you'd go out with him smh

Now every minute he just contemplates the fact that he has you

And he still can't believe it

Like shit dude

He’s with the y/n

You never feel unloved when you're with him

He loves going for long walks, just to talk and relax

Why does it sound like he's a dog here lmao

Will always take as many pictures of you as his phone storage will allow, his camera roll is stuffed with pics of you

Will insist on going to the park for a picnic, he just loves you and the sunshine

He loves to quietly slide your hand into his

But he always ends up giggling because he’s so giddy about being with you

Has to take a moment to charge up his courage before giving you a quick kiss on the cheek

He then goes an unreal shade of scarlet as he covers his face, muttering that he ‘can’t believe that he actually did it’! 

It takes him a while to finally gather up the courage to properly kiss you

Like.... a very long time

You were starting to get worried that he didn’t actually like you

Maybe he was just too nervous to tell you that it wasn’t working for him

buT NOPE

On one certain date, Hyunjin had prepared a cute little dinner on the practice room floor

He was so apologetic about the poor setting, but finally had stopped saying sorry when you’d told him for the 2376129th time that you were having fun

At some point, he just went uber silent, watching you not in a creepy way

You eventually noticed, and just stared back

“What?”

He didn’t say anything, but his eyes did widen a wee bit

“What are you lookin at, you’re sorta scaring m-”

He cut you off and just kissed you

BOI YOU WERE SO SHOCKED

Afterwards you both just stared at each other

And then Hyunjin goes all red

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to do that I’m sorry that was stupid you can slap me if you want!!!!”

“Bruh why would I want to slap you?!”

“You don’t hate me?”

facepalms for days

You meet the other boys only a few minutes later

Go figure

You’re talking casually, the embarrassment from the kiss wearing off

They all come stampeding into the practice room making an ungodly racket

And all go quiet when they realize what they’ve done

Changbin, bless him, tries to reduce the awful level of awkwardness: “*cough* uh hey, Hyunjin.... This must be y/n right?” He waves at you. “We’ve heard a lot about you, Hyunjin never stops talking about you”

He misses the death glare Hyunjin shoots him

Then Jisung

Freakin Jisung, man

Waltzes up: “Hyunjin’s cheeks are really pink”. He gives a cheeky smile. “You didn’t kiss did you?”

The room goes as quiet as a tomb

“OH SHIT YOU DIDN’T ACTUALLY KISS DID YOU????”

Of course Hyunjin completely loses his shit at the sight of you turning a deep red. “GODDAMMIT JISUNG STFU”

Ye your first meeting with SKZ wasn’t the best

But you all bonded rather quickly after

And Jisung buys you little snacks sometimes as an apology for your first awkward meeting

OH GOD THE BOYS ADORE YOU

If you’re ever sick, they always get snacks for Hyunjin to give you

And if you’re really under the weather, they’ll cover for Hyunjin so that he can stay with you and take care of you.

He wraps you in blankets

YOU ARE NOW A BURRITO

And tries to make soup for you

We know what cooking!Hyunjin leads to

You’re chilling on the couch and you suddenly hear a high-pitched scream

You’re up and sprinting to the kitchen at the speed of light still wrapped in a burrito

To find him fanning at a smoking pot

“WHAT THE FUCK HYUNJIN YOU JUST NEED TO HEAT IT UP HOW DID YOU START A MINI FIRE?”

You’re home doesn’t burn down thank goodness

And you end up heating some soup for yourself while Hyunjin watches

And it’s! hilarious! when he’s sick!

He becomes a little ten-year-old istg

But in a really cute way

He doesn’t ask for anything: food, to watch TV etc

Nah he just wants cuddles

The whole damn day

So while you’re struggling to keep a mask on and not getting sneezed on, this idiot is smiling like a puppy if puppies could smile, clinging onto you like a love-filled leach did that sound weird? i think that sounded really weird

i want this tattooed on my face thx

Now idk what this dude is afraid of

Something tells me one big fear would be to lose Stray Kids and the people he loves

And so I think he’d get kinda nervous when you both see less of each other and when he gets busier

You can’t talk as much because of his crazy schedule and with lack of sleep, he starts getting more irritated easier during the little intervals of time you get to see each other

At some point he might snap at you, maybe for no reason at all, and you’ll snap back indignantly

Yeah you love him but you’re not taking any attitude

If things get really bad, he just shakes his head, saying he needs some air

You’ll both give yourselves some space, but eventually Hyunjin becomes terrified that you’re too angry with him to talk again

So he goes to find you and talk

You both hug it out and decide to spent the rest of the day together for more quality time

And it’s totally worth Hyunjin getting an earful from Chan the next day

OK back to fluff quickly quickly

On the days Hyunjin goes somewhere, you sometimes join him in the car ride, tho you’re always super careful to never show your face when he gets out

Gotta stay hidden yknow?

You’ll both send cute little texts throughout the day and OOF just couple goals

You: hey check this out, this is me 2 u *sends heart meme*

Jiiniie<3: oh yeah? well this is me @ u! *sends heart meme with more hearts*

You: boi dont start smth u cant win!

And thus begins the heart meme wars

r they even called heart memes idk

i want this tattooed on my face pt2

We’ve already established that Hyunjin can’t cook for love or money

So if he even steps foot in the dorms’ kitchen

You bet that at least two other of his hyungs will follow for pure supervision

And he is not, under any circumstances, allowed to cook something by himself

And you’re grateful that your safety and world peace had been assured by this rule

Although, you’re allowed to cook together as long as you watch what he’s doing

If anything at all goes wrong, the blame is pinned on you

So it’s natural for you to treat these cooking projects as once-in-a-while occasions

Now when you ask about meeting his parents

Holy Hell

Stutters, clammy hands, flitting eyes, you name it

Hyunjin is so frickin nervous about you meeting his parents oof

You don’t understand why, like hey, how bad could it be right?

But pretty soon you get why Jinnie was nervous

His parents aren’t that trusting within the first hour of knowing you

You guess it might be because of poor past experiences?

Maybe Hyunjin had been judged or dated once too many times just for his looks?

The thought is enough to make you swear by all you know to always treat him like a treasure

You also make a mental note to ask him sometime

Eventually, his parents realize you have pure intentions and they become so much kinder and warmer

They let you know how welcome you are to visit whenever you want, they offer to send you off with some homemade cookies...

And Hyunjin gets so emotional at the beautiful site in front of him that he bursts into tears

Which causes you and his parents to tease and hug him

if you’re thick, let’s just be clear that im making a statement on how you should NOT judge Jinnie purely because he’s good looking, appreciate his talent!

Now, Hyunjin is kinda tall compared to the rest of SKZ hah im joking of course so it’s pure instinct to want to steal his shirts

Don’t lie, if you had the chance, you would take something i see right thru u

And at some point in your life, you stop realizing ‘hey, this isn’t my jumper!’ and just walk around in clothes that aren’t yours

And when this happens, three things follow:

You see a wild Hyunjin crashing through the apartment towards you, yelling happily that ‘that’s my favorite hoodie!!’ he tries to act like he’s angry and fails in 0.0000003 sec

He doesn’t slow down and freakin slams into you at full velocity, knocking you over or off anything you might be sitting on

He proceeds to tickle you mercilessly, until you either can’t breath and turn purple or until you commit an extreme act of violence in the name of self defense

Once this chaotic episode ends, most of the time with both of you are completely knackered and just lying on the floor

You both cool off by just cuddling and watching something on TV

Or reading something together!!!

I can totally see Hyunjin shoving one of his fav books in your face and insisting that you both take turns in reading aloud to each other

And you both react at the same time to shockers in the book, like you start crying together when a character dies who hasn’t had that traumatic experience or you both squeal with joy and hug each other tighter when something great happens

Did I just turn into a puddle of happy goo?

Yes I fuckin did.

I think Hyunjin wouldn’t take that long to tell you that he loves you

That doesn’t mean that he planned anything tho

HAH! Course he didn’t

Probs says it when he can barely think straight

Maybe you’re watching him dance late at night

You’d brought snacks to keep him going ‘cause he was working his ass off

And there you sit, marveling at his skill and fluidity while executing his choreo

You have a talent for hyping Hyunjin up while he dances, cheering when he leaps high into the air, gasping when he performs a complicated move, and aw-ing and his graceful poses ok im done now

When he finishes one of his more dramatic dances, you jump up with glee and tackle him in a hug despite him being sweaty, saying how proud you are

He hugs you back happily and says:

“I should be the proud one, having someone I love so much being so supportive of me”.

You both freeze, still hugging each other

And neither of you move or breathe for a moment

“What did you say?”

“UhhhHHHH NOTHING I SAID NOTHING”

“You said that you love me!”

“WAT NO I DIDN’T I-”

“HYUNJIN I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!”

“N- wait what?”

“I love you, dumbass” same tho

Oof that poor practice room has seen a lot of awkwardness

I’m cracking up just by thinking of how hopeless Hyunjin could become when SKZ are away

“Hey do you guys have a signal and/or data? I wanna Skype y/n and show them the beautiful view”.

*all of SKZ facepalms*

Always taking pictures to show you

In the evenings, you get a frickin cascade of notifications of both photos and messages from the poor boy telling you he misses you like crazy

When Skyping, he asks to see Khami, who you have the pleasure of caring for during his absence

You do question (mentally and then verbally) whether he calls to talk to you or his dog

He never answers the question heh

There’s lowkey a competition between you and Khami for Hyunjin’s affection

When the boys make their flight home, Hyunjin keeps you informed about everything that’s happening

I mean everything:

Jiiniie<3: we’re @ the airport :D     -6h ago

Jiiniie<3: waiting to board!     -5h ago

Jiiniie<3: they’re getting ready to go, i can’t wait to see you!! xxx      -5h ago

Jiiniie<3: will text you when we arrive, love!     -5h ago

Jiiniie<3: JUST LANDED! CANT WAIT TO HUG U     -31mins ago

Jiiniie<3: about to get our luggage!     -Just now

You get the point -_-

When you finally see each other, he runs at top speed to pick you up and spins you around

frickin goals man i feel so sad writing this :,)

He goes public in probably the most aesthetic way that’s physically possible

He posts a bunch of gorgeous photos-

Courtesy of Jisung

-of your silhouettes in front of sunsets

-Pics he took of you laughing during a cafe trip

-Bomb-ass selcas where you’re both lookin hella fine

Just

UGGHHH

SO! AESTHETIC!!!

Naturally, the internet freaks the fuck out

Both of you are kinda nervous about the explosive reaction

There are salty bitches who are telling you to piss off because they jelly

But the huge majority of Stay are crying with happiness and wishing you both well

this better happen in the future im watching all of u

And soon Hyunjin is talking about you on vLives, proud af because y/n freakin rules!

OhmyGod I love Hyunjin

Damn my heart be like < HYUNJIN 3 phew

[xz017]

.

oof. okay so imma do the latest tea???

got out of shower to hear my mum talkin to Agnes spillin the tea abt their friend/coworker

the one with that Kid my mum wanted to have a playdate with or whatever the annoyingly studious and clearskinned halfasian lookin girl i really envied.

her mum has a live in boyfriend who is basically like...an alcoholic mental case rip god i hate alcohol and i hate people who drink it like i only do it so i hate myself more and die but like this guy basically playin with knives n guns in the house and the kid who is like 19 idk why im callin her kid is so Over it like apparently she hasn’t been coming home and like

basically me in 2016 era when my mum was too generous n Helpful lettin ppl back into our lives and our House so i spent christmas morning 5am walkin in the cold n watchin 3 films until it got dark and stuff like that

girl be actin homeless---mood

so it came to a head today so Agnes is spillin the tea n her husband in the bg(omg it weird hearin him rip he was my military hs instructor wild) n my mUM is so selfrighteous n mad like

‘blablahblah well rosalie is being dumb she should put her daughter first she being sick in the head it her Choice’

n im like eavesdroppin havin warflashbacks of the dumb hypocrisy she has DOne lmao

‘has she no thought like what if Tyler gets raped/sexually abused by that man she’d let her daughter be in that environment???’

i mean it wouldnt be fair of me to be like...eyemoji on this cos she technically doesn’t know? but 19 may 2018 never4get lmao

anyway so my mum’s like our room is for rent and it’ll be far cheaper they dont even have to pay rn!!!

cue me being like...um...Money...generosity...i dont...LIke

i was conflicted here like idk i met the girl like 3-5 times im envious of her work ethic n her better asian disposition than mine cos she obviously prettier but she has better prospects and that’d suck if her life be like that

but also??? like...life be like that it was like that to me like who saved me????????????????????? 

um...no one

like why is that on me or US TO BE NICE n helpful im so tired like damn which is relevant to the next point anyway

cos earlier had a convo with my mum i was eyemojing healthcare profs i was like ‘pls stop bein on ye phone pls tell me info on ye opinion on respiratory therapists...what abt PA’

n deadass she be eyemojing me like STICK TO YOUR COURSE

n i was like...-ugly pleadin emoji eyes- n i was tryin to explain that i didn’t want to be so focused on one thing that if i decide this medical thing is what i want to pursue i’d need 1-2 years just for the PREREQS which is like 5 classes and 1000 clinical hours or minimum 6 month healthcare paid job. like if i decide i want to go to school for that i already have the Stuff and just Apply.

n she was like...you had your chance i bothered you to be a nurse a few years ago you were stubborn if you did as i said you’d be earning good money now but you wasted time

n i was like...oof i can’t say anything to that it’s tru. it real life tea it fax i wasted time n im old n im ruunnin out of time i hate myself alot i hate hate hate

and idk we got to talkin abt money n life cos she was like you have to find something you can learn to LOve

n i was like??? WHY I GOTTA SETTLE N FOOL MYSELF TO DO SO im super annoyed abt that mindset

cos the thing about a bloody Arts degree is there’s too fuckin many broad possibilities n they all aint even that good. like deadass if i was a STEM major ugh like if i was a Bio major prospects are so clear: forensics, research, premed,labtech. Meanwhile polsci for example: uhhh teacher? prelaw? politician? uhhh government work? n there’s like 111 different subdivisions of that n it’s like??? wat the fuck

deadass what am i gonna do with international security is that even gonna pay well like...the fuck do i know is it relevant ??? Doubts

n she was all like...PEOPLE JUST GOTTA DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO TO SURVIVE YOU GOTTA FIND YOURS N STICK WITH IT

n i was lowkey panique n frustrated cos i really REALLY hate being stuck in 1 ting n im like i HAD ACTING YOU SAID NO

n she was like pFF i wanted you to have something REAL cos if you dont make it in acting you’d be on the STREETS

n i was like...lmao lil did she know imma be on the streets next year smh this year actually

n she was like talkin abt the harsh reality of the workforce and how you gotta make do at how ppl treat you (patients) n how you might not even like your coworkers but you gotta deal with it because that’s what ppl do to survive

n she was talkin abt undeserving patients with no healthcare n i was like did you just hear yourself so you want them to die cos they dont got money and she was like 

no??? why get hooked up in the ICU when you’re braindead wasting government money taxes we payed for you don’t understand cos you dont have a job and dont get your salary cut cos of taxes and these people come in acting like they got something to give when they yell at your face acting like they know what they’re talking about they act entitled when they have nothing homeless ppl getting money and illegal immigrants are selfish bringing their kids to be hurt here

n im like...theyre life is ...shitty what are you talkin about n she was like so? why dont they stay and make it better??? one of my very first patients asked me why i was in america and i said i come from a poor country and they said why didn’t you stay and try to make it better? and i couldn’t say anything cos u know what they were right why dont illegal immigrants do that??? n im like...

cos theyre literally...RUNNIN and they want ppl they care abt i.e. children to be far away from that as soon as possible bruh ye think imma wait for change deadass there a reason why we suffer duterte he actually get shit done??? we dont have to wait for change the same way ppl who speak nice n are polite do but is stuck with bureaucracy and lowkey bein corrupt deadass stay in ye lane

n she’s like well i hope you’re right im done bein an idealist im a realist now i believed in good i wanted to help the world now no more

n im like...no you’re not a realist, you’ve just been hangin out with a republican

and she gave me a sideeye 

but deadass im ...scared like i really hate the empathy because when she was being serious n talkin n being honest abt things for once i started to unwillingly see things from her point of view i really felt it n i was scared i’ll be like that im scared she’s right

im scared i’ll end up Real n selfish like...i already am ? n bitter? like i care about so very few Personally and am willin to let others suffer to keep it safe n prioritised?

im scared.

like especially with racism all these years my mum’s been telling me it’s not that im racist just wait til you work with them they act so entitles and loud and make everything about race

n i almost told Her abt it earlier i skyped w her earlier we had a tea spillin moment about our ethnic relations bein racist but then idk we talked alot i guess the text got buried or unseen

like i said i was scared n didn’t get to unpack it like im scared because ive been livin with my roomate and like...ive been excusing it as a personality thing and that if it were anyone else different skin colour id still hate them just the same which i still maintain is true but like?

my RM is loud n she makes everything abt race like deadass me n my FM be just eating dinner and she passes by us and goes on a rant about harvard asians being a Blok to black ppl from getting There n im like...im tryna have dinner so i can get energy to deal with this stressful ass school

n she always talks like she knows what she’s talking about like ‘jewish ppl control the federal bank’ n im like...it 1am in the dark quiet of our shared room deadass i dont wanna tell the binch thats antisemitism cos she gonna be like im black how can i be racist smh

im!!! scared alright like i hate my roomate for proving my mum right when i try so hard to set things right like maybe that’s why i dont tell anyone about my situation other than Her. i never told my parents about the berkeley livin situation they already warn me enough to be careful n i just keep tellin them thats racist

i have so much........THOUGHTS n........DILEMMAS...n FEARS but like i just have this blog i cant trust anyone else to talk abt it n the only person i am willing to talk to abt it will be busy and im so ashamed abt these things but she was so sweet about givin me the heads up about her schedule 

like i hated that i had to get an ugly ass haircut today cos she came back to me n we couldve talked so i guess rip she was complacent n did stuff cos she replied late from then on like that dumbass haircut was 15 minutes ugh. our talkin pattern today was like...dashed lines timereply wise? i asked her if she packed earlier (pre haircut)n she said yes but rip a few hours later she was like...I need to pack 

wat is the truth rip

the tablet bein emo like...mood but my child rip.

my love be packin n spendin time with fam before leavin for london tomorrow

n even after that she doin...Stuff. rip.

which is ye know good for her rip.

i just hope she dont go iceskatin deadass one slip n she can crack her head open or break her neck or paralyse her spine like...??? why do humans wanna do dumb activities

like omg she admitted to me today she a serial jaywalker and WORSE with music n headphones like

binch thats why i didnt wanna enable you further by gettin ye airpods deadass bye

n she was like??? tryna equate it with my risky risk like ummm

mine is for science n validity

hers is just carelessness n chosin lazy convenience over idk...the responsibility of self vigilance like...

bruh ppl shouldnt promise someone 91 years if they be continuin to do dumb stuff consciously oof rip

but other than that like...im...really proud of this resolution she be undertakin officially on the 14th?

im nervous abt it cos i really want it for her too. i want her to get the proper sleep n i always hated her givin excuses like ‘IM FINE ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP’ ‘I NAPPED 3 HOURS 38293820 HOURS AGO IM FINE I MADE UP FOR IT’ um...blokt. get proper sleep binch i love you tf???

prioritise work cos ye gonna regret not givin it yer all??? n ye payin for this???

what fun??? we capitalists now we want that money rip.

i see that shift you know rip i saw it comin a year ago.

that dont mean we republicans rip we still care about others n the inequality? but like i foresaw us getting acquainted with the harsh reality of the world n how difficult it is to get a job--which she experienced along the way.

n rip she wants many things bookmarkin them n honestly same rip

i want a stable warm home for this family n a shiny diamond to get disassociated by extra im a simple man

meanin im selfish n im ready to prioritise meanin im ready to make the choice for others to fall apart/behind if it means puttin This first rip

god pls dont make me a republican this so ugly

# 1 she’d hate me #2 i’d hate me

now im sad

im dead.

omg rip earlier too as she said goodbye i told her i loved her and she was like ‘i love you more’

DEADASS I WAS LIKE LMAO!!! girL i dont think you understand im literally Ready to put you and our possible future First like...im not messin around what skitrips with rich ppl what friends my love is potent n extreme n COncentrated like im sorry ik you feel love for me but you cant top This rip she not ready 

like the um ‘partially wanna make my life’s work abt knowin what might hurt n kill ye so i can kill it first or blok it well’ kinda love

the ‘im already savin for at least HALF a first month deposit in an overpriced london in case you wanna settle down wit me Mayhaps n im not touching it for ANYTHING’ kinda love

the ‘im thinking of a winter home in the tropics so you suffer less n im plannin the floorplans already rip just in case’ kinda extraness

but anyways the gall of this cute lovely human rip ‘i love you more’ ummm try Again smh

bruh i love her too much i bet that’s scary for her rip it might be a Burden tbh she so young rip 

meanwhile im old n ready to rot but like...

i wanna be mortal wit ye before i do

but ye know wat lads i saw myself in the mirror today like 5 times OOF. this meatform...keepin me...Humble. 

bitter but like...humble

‘like of course sHe not ready not only is my personality like dis but also...my outward form how could she introduce me as a Spouse’

‘wow i look like that oof it good i remembered i am undeservin of full intense love like in the films n fanfiction they always between attractive ppl after all it only 1/2 it not Equal’

‘wow bruh ye really upset she spendin time n resources elsewhere when you be lookin like That? ye dont have much to offer bro take the L’

oof so that’s the personal tea i can think of?

had a meghan marke talk rip i can’t believe i was right??? i had twin vibes!!! but i was hoping for like a variety situation rip im worried a lil abt the whole birthin Late ting but she can afford the highest care rip it fine she rich.

my love was talkin abt how pretty MM was n i was like rip is she triggerin Her a lil rip worrirooni

rip speakin of babies like she was showin me this smol gummybear n im like same das me heart n she was like :( n i was like it only fits you

n she was like so no children then:(

n i was like!!! rip if it Ours of course that Counts n i was a lil shook like rip she said she didn’t want them Really so i always get guilty when i talk abt the future or realise i mentioned kids or carelessly name drop Hyaline n Benzion like...im dead rn just typin that like what if she read this big shame bro

but ye know what this is already long n she gonna be busy maybe that’s the key. TOo Much puts ppl OFF so ye mayhaps we sneaky ! ?

anyway i was tryin to get her thoughts on it rip but like she was all iDK ASK ME IN 13 Yrs n i was like...

sighemoji + sandemoji + resignedemoji

rip we talked FAaC a lil. cos she Dared!!! to liken me to her brother just cos i showed her my cheap youth boy shoes smh

At first i was super offended n disgusted but then i was like rip eyemoji if ye into that

then she was like ew nO

then i was like um ye already play the ‘daddy u like me young huh’ card

which is like idk is like technically? joking but it’s like that post ye know abt ppl bein ‘whether or not im actually jokin or flirtin depends if you into it’ but also like schrodingers racism like ‘it was a joke bro!!!’ but they actually bigots.

so it DIFFICULT for my brain to Confirm rip like...eyemoji what is the truth

but like??? im rip. willin. rip. to. rip. Try. rip.?

really i am rip. it Her. bruh. im only hopin she dont have a golden shower kink but. trust i...Will follow thru.

nO IM REMEMBERIN THE DOO DOO POST DESPAIR

rip anyway that whole thing reminded me of FAaC origins which was porn n then somehow sHe was like imagine if egggsy was a singer he’d sing like ‘age is just a number’ shit n i SPILLED THE TEA ABOUT A TING IN PT 3 im so weak sand

i miss the gays

i wanna give them justice n happiness but the 2027 excuse is rl nice for my ugly procrastination issues oof but i wish them well

add: rip had another talk with my mum i really wanted her to understand my thought process about wanting to get the prereqs for medtraining done beforehand

n she was like...I UNderstand but Normal people--

n i was like ‘IM NOT NORMAL I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE I HAVE NO IDENTITY’

n she’s just like SHOOKE n mad n clearly dont understand that im fukt up in the head ‘...IC AN’T BELIEVE YOU!!! iF YOU’RE ABNORMAL YOU WONT GET HIRED N YOU WONT HAVE A NICE JOB’

n im like...well i mean what can i say to that it’s not like it’s not tru rip

Big sand honestly.

it gonna be a long few days imma do my best to leave her alone she needs her time rip i love her so much rip sand

i feel like a dumb ugly dog god fljækadfkøad h8

[prettyhoons]

ok ok my anger has subsided so i think i should like… not ignore today even though it was saddening but maybe focus on the nice things that happened at rift rivals because i did meet a lot of cool people and had a lot of fun!!

i went with nat aka the c9 xayah quickshot kept talking about on stream lmao. she looked absolutely stunning (she always does tbh) but beauty has its price and we paid by being half an hour late lmao

but in we went and i ended up on camera bc i was sitting next to nat and i wanted it to end but oh well at least now we have proof that i was there!! i was super excited and constantly clinging to nat which eventually turned into petting nat bc her hood was just so soft and fluffy aaaaaaa

then the fanmeets rolled around and i was????? so nervous???????? because even though ive met some eu players before it wasnt all of them and the na players where a whole nother animal

but yeah we met jesiz, caps and broxah (soaz and rekkles didnt come out sadly) and they were so sweet! im probably gonna say that about every team lmao but they honestly were all so nice. anyway i didnt dare ask them for hugs yet which i would later end up regretting lmao

then g2 vs c9 happened and i was so?????? conflicted????????? but yeah i ended up meeting g2 again which honestly never gets old and i hugged them again which also never gets old!!!

then we met p1 and i asked them to sign @nekomieze ‘s sketchbook bc she couldnt be there sadly :( but they were so kind and honestly arrow’s signature is the tightest shit!! but yeah neko really put a lot of effort into it bc she drew cute lil pictures of p1 and c9 and i hope that when i send the sketchbook back to her she will post them either here or on twitter because theyre just so adorable!!!!!!!

and then!!!!!!! then we met c9!!!!!!!!!!!! like!!!!!!!

i was so shook when they came onto the stage because i was used to players looking their height on camera from eu teams right???? well!! c9 are so

tiny

smoothie and ray are roughly my height but the rest of them are much shorter i shed a few tears

and god they are!!!!! such sweethearts!!!!!!! all of them!! smoothie started asking me questions like “how are you” and got me all flustered tho… :( initially riot staff said that c9 wouldnt sign anything bc contractz was sick and should go to bed already (and he really looked like he was gonna pass out any minute) but they ended up staying. jensen and sneaky stayed behind the longest which was kind of surprising in jensens case bc i heard from na fans that hes usually not v comfortable with fan stuff but i was happy that he stayed so long!! and sneaky stayed until there was only nat and my other friends and me left and chatted with us. i’m still not over that tbh

and then we met tsm!! sadly they didnt sign anything that was kind of disappointing. normally i dont have any strong feelings about them but my brother likes bjergsen so i was hoping to get some signatures for him. same thing on the second day idk if they signed anything tonight :(( i did hug bjergsen though it was really nice!! the tsm players in general seem v nice!!

also i got a photo with kobe!!!! hes literally so adorable hes like a giant puppy

then the next day we didnt meet g2 at all which is kind of a bummer bc i only realized the morning of day 2 that i did actually have something to get signed for myself lmao im… smart

i did meet uol once again and hylissangs handwriting is so nice!! and sheepys and romains signatures are so cute aaaaaa

we took more photos with p1 and they handed out wristbands and fidget spinners for free!! eventually i annoyed nat so much with my hood petting that she handed me her fidget spinner so i would stop. i ended up petting her with the fidget spinner

then c9 once more!!! and more hugs!!! it was so nice! i tried to take revenge and started asking smoothie questions but he returned the questioning and got me flustered again aaa!! juan was luckily looking wayyy better on day 2. also sneaky and jensen stayed with us super long again!! nat actually had a Normal Conversation ™ with sneaky. like they literally talked for ten minutes about the troubles of being left handed lmao

aaand more fnc!! as in initially it was jesiz, caps and broxah again and this time i summoned the courage to ask for hugs!! and lemme tell ya hugging broxah temporarily cured my anxiety

then eventually soaz joined too (still no rekkles…. hope hes ok) so yay!! and nat was talking to finlay about her other cosplays while i was standing by awkwardly lmao

and then after the games quickshot was out there in the entry hall taking selfies with fans and when he saw nat he actually asked her for a selfie and a hug lmao it was so adorable!! quickshot is so adorable!!! i love him!!

but like the real kicker came after the games. like yall probably saw the tweets from xpecial about how much money p1 spent at mcdonalds right?? well we didnt!! and we were hungry so we went to the mcdonalds around the corner and guess who was there

but yeah that was it for me!! i went home this afternoon and while all my friends somehow managed to sneak into the studio one way or another im kind of glad i didnt pay money for that tragedy. except i wasted like most of my mobile data on trying to get the stream running while i was on the train haha and also juan apparently was buying beer in the entry hall after the games and according to nat it was adorable as all heck and i would have loved to see it but oh well!! cant have it all!!

all in all im more than happy i was there and im happy i met so many cool ppl, players and (new) friends alike!!