#I read this comic very quickly
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The Moon that Rises in the Day Webtoon.
Summary with Spoilers: Young-hwa has been a friend of and had a crush on Min-oh for six years, but he rejected her because he has taken over as the parent for Jun-oh, his now high school-aged brother. Jun-oh dies of a heart attack but the comes back different (possessed by Do-ha). He becomes obsessed with Young-hwa, which makes Min-oh both confused and jealous. One of Jun-oh's friends can see ghosts, knows that Jun-oh is possessed, and tells Min-oh.
Possessed Jun-oh attempts to kill Young-hwa but is prevented by a talisman. He wants to hang out with her all the time to find a way. He also has violent mood swings. Young-hwa sees the ghost of a dead teenager and ends up accusing the brother of murder (the death was ruled an accident). The brother tires to kill her, but Jun-oh protects her.
Very early Do-ha tells Young-hwa that she's his reincarnated wife and that she is murdered every reincarnation. She has consuming dreams about her past life with Do-ha where she is a Gayan refugee who is trying to survive in Silla. An idealistic younger cousin (I think) of Do-ha is trying to help the Gayans, but everything he does backfires. Do-ha attempts to work behind the scenes but also isn't doing much good. He also helped spread a rumour that the Gayans are bringing illness, at the command of his adoptive father/uncle.
Do-ha saves Ri-ta, who is living under the name of her foster sister. (Her foster sister is a Padme handmaid sort of situation, meant to protect her) He promises her that he will help the Gayans if she both agrees to marry him and murders So Ri-bu. She murders the adoptive father on her wedding night. However, this doesn't really help the Gayan situation in the end because a judge continues to work against the Gayans and many refugees have now become bandits. She is very conflicted about her life as a Silla nobleman's wife. Also, on her wedding day, the older brother (who is a monk) of her foster sister attempts to murder her. From that point on, she is tormented by the ghosts of her dead family.
In the present, they manage to eject Do-ha from Jun-oh's body, but then other ghosts attack him. He is erratic and stabs his own brother and tries to kill Young-hwa to get rid of Do-ha for good. Young-hwa stops talking with him because of this. Min-oh allows Do-ha to repossess Jun-oh to keep him safe from the other ghosts, but he hates it.
In the past, Do-ha is socially attacked for marrying a Gayan and the Gayans are driven out of the city. The monk older brother attacks Ri-ta again and Do-ha kills him; he then haunts Ri-ta. Do-ha attempts to take Ri-ta to visit Gaya, but on the way they are attacked by the son of So Ri-bu. Ri-ta attempts to kill herself so Do-ha will stop protecting her, but Do-ha grabs her arm and she ends up killing him. The ghost of Ri-ta begs Young-hwa to change her decision in the past, but Young-hwa refuses because she isn't sure what it would change in the future. Ri-ta stumbles away to kill herself but is saved by the ghost of her mother, who wants her to live and have a child (she's already pregnant). When Ri-ta dies years later, she tells the ghost of the monk that he can keep killing her if he wants. He is either possessing or the reincarnation of the guy who tried to murder Young-hwa in the present.
And then... Young-hwa tells Do-ha to just get over it and he thinks for a night and then disappears. Jun-oh will spend the rest of his life being tormented by ghosts because he's half-dead. Min-oh finally tells Young-hwa he likes her, but she says she needs time. He says he'll be the one waiting this time.
Reactions and comparisons to the drama ahead:
Jun-oh is a high school kid and Young-hwa is 6 years older than him! I can see why the drama didn't go with that, good call
Young-hwa has a crush on Min-oh from the beginning and is friends with the family, such a different set up. They are both lower middle class
I think I like the bracelet talisman more than a paper charm, but I love that her mom hid it under her phone case
Jun-oh with the fruit knife
Oh there are like, multiple ghosts floating around. Interesting. Young-hwa and Jun-oh solve a ghost murder
"I won't let anyone else kill you."
Jun-oh can sense when Young-hwa is in danger (that would have been helpful)
Wow, he told her that he was a ghost and that she gets murdered every life super early!
Possessed Jun-oh has rage in this one
This panel:
(Do-ha isn't enjoying high school)
Also this one (Do-ha is back attached to Young-hwa, she makes him leave the bathroom):
This is so different! Do-ha is back to being body-less and Jun-oh is kind of possessing himself? But he stabbed Min-oh
Do-ha is the evil guy's nephew and is trying to work behind the scenes to subvert him, this panel is great:
Do-ha was the one who told Ri-ta to kill his adoptive father! And she got away with it! And she did it on the wedding night. Amazing
The past stuff is VERY different, also I don't think Ri-ta ever knows that Do-ha was the one who killed her parents
Now Jun-oh and Do-ha are both occupying Jun-oh's body and they are fighting internally too
Young-hwa says their marriage was a pretense and Do-ha gets all offended and is like, "No we definitely had sex." Then Young-hwa hopes she can skip dreams! Lol
If I understand correctly, Do-ha is So Ri-bu's nephew. Do-ha married Ri-bu's daughter (his cousin), but she died. So Ri-bu's son blames Do-ha for his sister's death. Strange that Do-ha was married before (and super young too).
Do-ha in Jun-oh's body asking Young-hwa not to date Min-oh because she's his wife... yeah...
Short little comic of silly things:
Jun-oh actually dangling Young-hwa off a building! Not just a dream! And it wasn't even Do-ha, Jun-oh wants to kill Young-hwa so he can have his body back. This is similar to the Min-oh scene from the drama
The reason Ri-ta killed Do-ha is basically the same, they are on the run:
the ending was honestly very unsatisfying and kind of confusing
The scene where he begs to her to live while dying is the same!
Young-hwa never really tells Do-ha why Ri-ta stabbed him, she just kind of yells at him and he resolves himself on his own
The kid who murdered his brother just keeps living? Odd. And has the monk moved on now too? It's unclear.
Jun-oh will always be haunted, but Young-hwa is now free
Conclusion: It was gripping, though a bit confusing at times. I left out some odd plots, like when Jun-oh lived on the run for a few days. I can see why the drama simplified the plot and changed up the story.
The love story between Do-ha and Ri-ta was much less satisfying in this version, she really loves him against her will and it's not clear why he loves her so much. We also never know what happened to his first wife, which was odd. He's very morally grey, but without the same level of excuse.
Also, the love triangle between Jun-oh, who is underage, and Min-oh/Young-hwa was awkward. So glad there weren't any love triangles in the drama (the ex-girlfriend was just in it for her reputation.)
Anyway, it was very interesting. I enjoyed it. I do think the show did a good job keeping the main emotional points but streamlining the plot.
DM me if you want to know where to find it!
#moon in the day#drama vs. webtoon#moon in the day spoilers#I read this comic very quickly#I probably will read it again#It was good
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part 2!!!! [read part one here]
transcript below the cut arranged into stanzas to help show where the rhymes are:
“that’s why they brought gem in? as a failsafe?” as a pawn. we were told to point her at whoever we need gone
“gem won’t hurt her allies. …yet.” the curse she carries will it’s had its eye on her since she lost the other eye she was specially selected for her hunting skill it’s quite the high honor. “wow. how generous.” we try
think about it: why does almost no one fight the curse? “given how fast scott killed skizz last season, i can guess.” [“any pain you spare your friends, you’ll have to suffer worse”?] it’s designed to shut down higher reasoning with stress
#if you still can't see the rhyme scheme try reading it out loud#if that doesn't work uh. idk. can't help you#my art#my poetry#grian#geminitay#smajor1995#bdoubleo100#inthelittlewood#secret life#grian and his terrible horrible no good very bad eldritch coworkers: the sequel#cant wait to post the next part so i can be like 'my three secret life comics. and yes they all rhyme'#this one narratively doesn't work nearly as well as a standalone compared to part 1#however i accidentally went way too hard and could probably upload the middle page + second to last panel as their own separate art pieces#tbh i'm considering putting an explanation of everything below the readmore buuut i don't feel like it atm. :3 later maybe#me and my 20+ life series headcanons i only allude to without explicitly stating don't need to explain ourselves#still experimenting with this webtoon-esque vertical comic style#still not sure i like it#it gets long too quickly#among other things#but it's very easy to read on a phone so
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recently watched a handful of episodes of Supernatural and im kinda impressed with Dean's steadfast belief that all monsters are monsters and can't be redeemed.
With that in mind... there could be some VERY angsty Danny Phantom crossovers with that as the main premise
#this has deff been done before somewhere#dpxsu#bones prompts#they wouldn't care that Danny is a kid. a monster is a monster and they MIGHT later do bad things so might as well kill them now#like thats the premise of so many episodes. They'd kill danny with only one small second thought#bone tangent time bc Supernatural is bonkers. These boys need a MIB mind wipe plus therapy if they ever wanna be mentally ok ever again#also reading fics and seeing gifs with the winchesters being sweet and sarcastic and shit was jarring#because after a few episodes you very quickly realize that the Winchesters Arent Good People.#Dean has enough red flags he should be bound with caution tape. the guy is a Grade A Asshole. Absolutely no idea how he gets women. Genuine#and oH MAN i thought yall were underselling just how needlessly dramatic everything is bc its very soap opera esque but YALL WERENT LYING#im certainly not gonna watch the whole show. I'd much rather read Constantine comics. he's better and knows he's a bastard#none the less it was a very fun show! It's neat seeing technically the good guys save the world. they certainly aren't Good Guys tho
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That moment when you realize the people interrogating you are very bad at it.
And here's the weekly reminder to go read A Dark Among the Lights by LuckyLectio on AO3! My phone's auto predictions can almost write out that entire sentence without prompting by now XD
Alt. version under the cut since I couldn't decide which I liked better.
#my art#dark link#lu warriors#adatl#shoutout to anyone that knows the movie being referenced#not gonna lie it's refreshing to finish a drawing so relatively quickly compared to last week's odyssey#no idea how comic arts can handle drawing so many group shots#maybe they get used to it??#anyway this chapter was very fun to read#it's fun to have all the heroes more or less present#though i bet it's probably a pain in the ass to write XD#the snarky comments will be glorious!
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Have a surprising amount of thoughts on this year's annual
Kinda love how surge and kit's "redemption arc" isn't going down the path of true redemption (yet) but is instead having them want to be heroes for entirely selfish reasons and double down on wanting to kill sonic and tails. They're still not realizing their issues and in fact seem to be getting WORSE now. The writers could've easily gone with them starting to be good for real at this point (though it would've felt kinda rushed imo) but instead they're making it clear that surge and kit still have a long way to go and I really appreciate that
Knuckles' story is genuinely so sweet. Like I think ppl often interpret him as having some level of resentment towards his duty as guardian of the master emerald (I did at some point) but the way he sees it as being part of the reason he met all his friends and went on all of his adventures is so nice. Also sonic and knuckles interactions <3
And mimic. Idk if I can properly put into words what I think abt his story other than it's intriguing. A look into his psyche was not something I was expecting but it's incredibly cool. Also seeing the old diamond cutters while they were still alive, seeing them be silly and having fun and whisper especially be so happy kinda hurts after everything mimic did. It's just. Augh....
Also. Anyone else find it kinda weird that the first two stories take place after issues that haven't come out yet? Like they don't outright spoil much of anything but I don't think they've done that before? It's an interesting way to tell the stories considering now they won't be able to place the whole annual with one specific saga unlike the other annuals and mini series. Idk how to feel abt that as a writing decision too like maybe these stories could've been saved for later? Idk anyways comic good
#ramblings#idw sonic spoilers#don't have much else to say i don't think#except i saw someone complain abt surge and kit's redemption coming too quickly#and i'm once again left wondering if idw sonic critics actually read the comics they are criticizing#but that's unrelated to the main post so#idk i could probably come up with something more insightful to say abt the annual but i feel like it's done that for me#all three stories felt kinda introspective. looking into different characters thoughts abt their circumstances#it's very good and i hope to see more of it
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Oh also FTR while I'm very interested in data about like, what the "median" number of comics read for comics fans is, etc, I am NOT interested in implying that the number of comics read makes someone more or less of a fan than anyone else. If you read and engage with comics directly and choose to describe yourself as such, you're a comic fan, end of story.
#lj.txt#like speaking personally i know ive read a fuckton of comics but thats not because im a bigger fan than someone that hasnt#its because im unemployed and have very high schlock tolerance lol#and i also just happen to read pretty quickly
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nobody understands wash/south friendship. anyone not in the know thinks they hate each other, but they don't. sure, they think the other is the single most annoying person in the known universe, but when push comes to shove, they're an okay team so long as they both understand that things are going to become extremely chaotic, they will be screaming at each other non stop, and as the guy who's really, really good at getting out of bad situations where death is almost certain alive, wash (generally) takes point.
#if anyone has read the helljumper comic w dutch and romeo that's sort of how i imagine wash and south on missions#trouble. explosions. crashing. jumping out of/off of things. that sort of deal#rvb#red vs blue#agent washington#agent south dakota#mine#not t/oaru#their banter starts fairly friendly but it very quickly dissolves into insults and screaming#as a rule of thumb if they're screaming at each other and it's barely understandable by anyone else they're fine#it's when they're /not/ screaming that they should start getting a little worried#nobody understands how wash is able to pull off the survival stunts he does but they work so ┐(゚~゚)┌#seriously the freelancers swear they've seen him straight up die multiple times but he just shows back up later relatively okay#maine has long accepted wash's damn near supernatural ability to survive whatever is thrown at him#wash has that main character plot armor /j
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#and then they teamed up and it went very well until it quickly took a turn for the very very bad#I love the pirate AU so much#I could read whole books of just this AU#archie comics#archie comics reboot#jughead jones#dilton doiley#they should team up more#and they WILL if I have anything to say about it#my art
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the thing about chilshi is that i see it as super one-sided on chilchuck's part and that's some shit he's bringing to the grave with him
#random thoughts#dungeon meshi#if (somehow) senshi became aware i think he'd be flattered#in like an 'aw thanks man' way#this goes for marcille too btw but in like reverse#i could see marcille having a fledgling crush on chilchuck after he reveals his age#but before she fully internalizes he's An Adult. like an adult adult#like how she infantilizes falin? like that#and like she's honestly chilchuck's type yknow? being blonde and all#but i don't think he would date someone who views him like that#he might tolerate it from senshi for like 4.5 seconds in his fleeting daydreams#but in reality? noooo thank you#this is why i ship laios and chilchuck tbh. he's the party member who chilchuck thinks knows him the best#and he trusts him the most to lead!!!#also because i think it'd be funny if laios (26) started dating izutsumi's (17) surrogate father figure#also because i really like that comic where chilchuck's children judge him for dating someone so YOUNG. cradlerobber#this is quickly devolving into me providing my Opinion on dungeon meshi ships#might as well get into kabru and laios#i don't see it? it might be because i've only read the manga and im bad at fully comprehending those the first time through#but like. first of all kabru is a VERY minor character in my eyes#he mostly becomes relevant during the latter half which is my least favorite part#and ive seen people tote the 'i want to be your friend!!!' panel as like. fodder for the ship?#and honestly when i read that part i read it as kabru desperately grasping at straws to keep laios from going to marcille#his brain to mouth line fully shut down and he was just spouting gibberish#laios even calls him out on it#i see kabru and shuro as being in the same boat? seeing laios as insufferable but it's not his fault#marcille and falin are in lesbians with each other. gay as hell to revive someone with forbidden magicks#they are LESS gay than i was expecting though. which is a hell of a thing to say about two women who bathe together
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i havent really talked about patsy walker here but genuinely IM OBSESSED! SHE SAW HEROES IN THE NEWSPAPER AND SAID IM GONNA DO THAT AND SHE DID! Like she got the oppurtunity (found out that beast and hank mccoy were the same person and made him promise that hed give her powers or a special suit so she could be a superhero and then tracked him down when he didnt immidiately keep his end of the promise) and took it. Shadowed the avengers and jumped into the fight unprompted. They get captured and shes like this is so fun and interesting. She makes silly puns while fighting, she likes instigating fights, she uses a humor as a coping mechanism AND SHE WAS ORIGINALLY A ROMANCE COMICS PROTAGONIST LIKE SHE JUMPED GENRES. I still need to finish my patsy walker readthrough (im still only on defenders) but im still thinking about her constantly.
#sorry for the long post i just. really really love patsy walker#she is quickly becoming one of my fave comic book characters#right now im on my hank pym and jan van dyne kick (which is also very strong and those two are also quickly becoming all time faves)#but when im finished with that reading list im going right back to hellcat stuff
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Okay, finished Death and the Maidens and uh, yeah. Everything I saw that said it was fucking terrible was right. Absolutely hated it. -10000/10.
There was exactly 3 things about all of that I liked:
The concept of Nyssa as Talia's older half sister that's been running around doing humanitarian efforts for centuries (and literally nothing else about her backstory because holy fucking shit what).
The single moment of Talia being happy and enjoying herself and briefly vulnerable and open about how she doesn't have many friends (could have truly been some great character moment stuff in something else)
Alfred's sass.
That's it. That was everything I enjoyed about that story line. What the absolute fuck did I just read?
Anyway, uh. I'm gonna take the 3 things I liked about the story, try to scrub the memory of literally everything else, and work out what I would have liked to see happen with Nyssa & Talia instead and figure out how to incorporate that into a fic.
#batman#death and the maidens#i hated this story line so much yall#seriously what the hell did I read#who wrote this?#WHY did they decide to go with *that* backstory for Nyssa?#Like the humanitarian stuff that was briefly & quickly mentioned at the very end was interesting#but literally everything that they actually *showed* in the comic was fucking horrifying and made no sense#like to be clear I'm not saying that authors can't delve into some darker places for a character's backstory#but like#this didn't feel like a heartfelt examination of the darkest moments in human history and have a genuine attempt to examine what that might#do to an pseudo immortal character that survived something so incredibly horrible and life ruining#it felt entirely like it was for shock factor and to be edgy#like fuck man#also what the *fuck* did they do to Talia??? Who was this random character they had with her name & face#cause I know that wasn't Talia al Ghul I saw in this
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on one hand it sucks that all my faves are dead on the other hand. wild how enjoyable mcu is now that its mostly over lsdkjfhldkj i'm free from cacw discourse or being worried abt The Future Of Stove And Or Tuna, unburdened, 2012 avengers tower hours. the team is done & i am watching catws & vibing i am doodling lil hearts around sam i can enjoy stove in fic again & would die 4 bonky nature is healing
#dipping my toe into comics. taking the toe very very quickly back out of comics. returning to avengers assemble#i can read stovebinky now it's so nice and fun#i am still looking for fic of all 3 of them that i can enjoy but so far vibing with the stoveborky. sambonky also choice#ANYWAY JUST THRILLED I CAN ENJOY FAN CONTENT AGAIN......finally the burden is lifted or whatever#(watches thunderbolts & cap4 approaching from the corner of my eye. cocks gun. etc)#kayvswords
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Not much has been shared yet for the Nicky day of the week which has me thinking that *I* wanna draw a Nicky to share but... That would require... Drawing and... Liking what I draw...
#I should draw though it's been a minute#I wanna draw Sparrow too... maybe even a demon Sparrow...#:/ But unfortunately to get better at art you gotta make more of the art#And it's hard for me to not get discouraged very quickly#And I'm always so embarrassed when I do share my drawings lmao#That's why I don't use an art tag- don't want people finding that shit lmao#Props to gigi though for scavenging my blog like a raccoon for an oldish glenn sketch that one time tho LMAO#She earned that#:0 I still mostly like that Nicky I have as my banner but I feel like I've never been as pleased with a drawing I've done of him since#Oh Cal if you're reading this- you were talking the other day about wishing you were more of a writer to express what visual art can't#And I *totally* felt that from the opposite end LOL#(I do get insecure about my writing but like not as much) like ''THIS WOULDN'T WORK AS A FIC THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A 4 PANEL COMIC"#Or just like ''I want to *show* you this character design'' not idk. Write about it.#Also I can keep my attention drawing for much longer than writing lol- writing fiction anyways#Man. ANYWAYS.
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So apparently in the comic universe, Dark Choco is immortal, I assume because of the Strawberry Jam Sword (more fodder for my “SJS is a Soul Jam” theory—no, I’m joking. I know these aren’t canon or made by Devsis), and also when he gets made enough, he basically goes into this mindless rage, surrounded by black lightning and basically becoming a crazed maniac who will attack anything and anyone
…Not gonna lie, kind of want some of those elements in the games as well, at least narratively. It would be kind of interesting, seeing him get enraged and go into this state, and then having to fight him and calm him down somehow. Also for a time I thought (at least in the Ovenbreak timeline) that Dark Choco might be immortal via the SJS, given the dilapidated state of his former kingdom and the fact that it just remains in ruins and doesn’t get rebuilt, or why everyone calls it the Shattered Kingdom instead of its actual name, and that the whole incident with the kingdom happened centuries ago. Of course, Milk’s past and Chess Choco muddle and disprove that theory, but it’s neat to see at least someone else thought of the idea to make him immortal
#also no I don’t know how we got here#when the collection I’m reading starts Dark Choco’s already been captured and the other cookies are going to Blue Star to rescue him#and I don’t know what happened at Rainbow Way#I wish I did but whatever#cookie run#cookie run comics#cookie run ovenbreak#dark choco cookie#he’s far more expressive and emotional in this series#honestly I got used to it pretty quickly and half forgot that in the actual games he’s very much not#random stuff
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"i read the wiki and i saw the pages/panels already, why do i need to read the comics?"
because a) some those comics fuck with awing dexterity and stamina b) there's a good chance shit is out of context or simply misrepresented (innocently, humorously, ignorantly or maliciously) and c) you know the beats/endings of tons of shit, but it doesn't impede your enjoyment of it, now does it? sure it's nice to go in spoiler free, but if the gimmick of spoiling material is all a piece of media has, then that piece of media is meritless. you knew who luke skywalker's father was before you saw the movie. is it still worth watching? you knew romeo and juliet died before you read the play. is it still worth reading? do you not want to go on a journey? do you not want to feel something? do you not want to commiserate about the human experience through art? a wiki will never be comprehensive enough to cover everything you would have read or seen yourself--it can't be, not without being the thing itself. even then, you still miss the things not on the page/screen, the things that are only implied, the things that go unstated, or else conspicuously omitted. don't talk to me about shit haunting the narrative if the only haunting you've ever been apart of was your passing despite your dogshit analysis skills haunting the conscience of your eng 101 adjunct professor in perpetual fear of losing their contract and being relocated from their car to under a bridge by demanding college students demonstrate basic reading comprehension, critical thinking, and coherent argumentative skills. boast about killing the author? my friend, you are cain advancing in the fields, skulking, stepping in abel's footprints, filled with murderous intent, with nothing but the chinese telephone-equivalent of a description of a weapon cutting into your soft palms.
#lmfao me#capeshit#thinking about that panel where blown-out-back damian is screaming at dick that he's crazy and he caused [all this]#that was used as an example of damian being a little shit#when it literally was all dick's fault bc he dipped a corpse in the green juice and that corpse tried to kill damian#do i know all the major beats of nightwing 1996? yes. spoiled to hell and back. did i get jerked around by emotions at multiple points#and cry like a bitch when dick tried to comfort aaron in the wreckage of the their apartment complex? i sure as fuck did! big ol' emotions.#the thing is you can read that scene on a wiki you can see it isolated on your screen but you will lack so. much.#the thing is comics are a visual medium. so much is said merely in the positioning the juxtaposition of panels.#like in venn diagram. what the FUCK was that. i don't know. but you sure as fuck won't find it on a wiki. but my eyes saw it!#ask ten people to describe a facial expression in a photo or explain why someone did something in a short story excerpt#and very quickly you will or should notice something disconcerting. you could be getting your information from any of those ten.#what did you see? what did you read? why. fucking argue about it like god intended.#yes indeed god gave humans free will to argue about their blorbos their specialist boys on the internet.#c o n s u m e t h e o r i g i n a l m e d i a n o t p r o d u c t s a n d a e s t h e t i c s
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Back in university I tried to get into makeup because I wanted to feel pretty and feel as if I were trying, ya know!!! Boost the self esteem!! But mostly because everyone around me wore makeup and I felt like I wasn’t progressing enough?? I has a HUGE aversion to makeup being put on my face by family and I didn’t like the way it felt. But I wanted to try cause I was getting older and again ✨insecure.✨ And my cousin tried to help me buy stuff but she only took me into the store and told me to pick stuff out. The issue she didn’t seem to understand was I didn’t know how to start.
I’d seen a few videos of beauty gurus doing very beautiful makeup but the first step always confused me and I didn’t WANT a super fun unique style I just wanted to be done up a little so I wouldn’t be lost when I had to do it in the future. I left with maybe a lipstick or two and gold eyeshadow. 🥹 she seemed so irritated with me and I felt so bad.
So the first time I wore the eyeshadow I didn’t know how to apply it and I just smeared it on my eyelids because who was going to show me. 😭 and i felt like I was being stared at the whole day. Eventually I wiped it off out of embarrassment and also because I didn’t want my mom to know. I felt like she’d tease me for NOW wanting to try makeup when I claimed to hate it so much before. I snuck it into a drawer in the bathroom. It was eventually found by my sister who asked where it came from but when she never received an answer she kept it 🥹
And similarly, the two lipsticks I bought. I carried them in my backpack because I didn’t know where else to keep them. I fell in love with this dull pinkishy shade. I always applied it at school and took it off before going home. Sometimes I’d reapply it in the bathrooms in the science (math) building and honestly!!! I felt beautiful!!!!! Except I still didn’t like how it felt too much when I applied it bleh, and I felt like people were judging me for not applying it well. 🥺 eventually those too got tucked into the drawer and were found by my sister who was still confused by this lost makeup and decided to keep them.
#melifails#i saw a post about lipstick shades between red and pink and it sent me back to the science bathroom#when I’d gleefully pull out that pink tube look in the mirror and put it on#i miss that feeling#the quick little boost of confidence of feeling like I was finally like other girls#i still feel weird about it like I’m not aging fast enough#and so i have to compensate somehow ?? right?#but I’m not doing a very good job to be honest I don’t dress special and when I do I think I look very comical like what you’d expect a#child to wear or an older person just trying to be comfortable#so I’m nice and I’m sweet and I speak with a high pitched voice hoping that’s enough but I think it just makes it worse somehow#It’s me but is me enough?#i find it very funny that I’m shedding tears over lipstick#anyways that’s it that’s all I’m sorry if you read all that#it actually started off fondly and quickly went down into my insecurities but hey!!!#we embrace our insecurities here were honest about them 👏🏽👏🏽 because whats the point in hiding how we feel#besides this is my diary and you have the key to read it#okay lov e u you’re beautiful/handsome/spiffy
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