#I read the entire comic so quickly and it’s even better than I could ever imagine

[rubypasha1]

Guess who’s birthday it is!!!!

I’m 18 now, right in the middle of my final exams and taking a day with my family. Couldn’t be happier!

I live in Souty Africa and, honestly, there aren’t many transformers stuff that I want here. My dad was overseas working and he came back! Amazing surprise- and he brought me these!

The comic is the Enegron universe- the ART OH MY G D!! I’M GOING TO PAINT SOME OANELS AS SOON AS MY EXAMS ARE OVER!!

Amazing in everything it is from character to storyline! And I got these two bastards!

Details are crazy beautiful, I’m too afraid to transform them in case I can’t get them back to these forms properly 😭 (it happened before with the 1 transformable transformers toy I had, I am so sorry strongarm)

Going to write a bit today!! Hope everyone is having an incredible day ♥️

[hakuheartsoul]

let loose ✧ hwang intak

✧ pairing: intak x afab!reader

✧ summary: your boyfriend, intak, gets an ad for collars on his phone. so he shows you - and then chaos ensues.

✧ genre: established relationship, fluff, tiny bit of angst (barely, i promise this is a happy fic), smut (almost pwp basically)

✧ rating: 18+ (mdni!)

✧ word count: ~4.6k

✧ content warnings: intak in a collar is the biggest warning tbh, dirty talk, mild hair pulling, mentions or marking/biting, oral (m receiving), unsafe sex

a/n: hi!! this is my first fic i've ever written for piwon - hopefully i do them justice! i haven't written properly in 2 or 3 years so i'm probably still a little rusty. i'm also writing for day 29 of piwontober 24' for keeho, so please look forward to that.

posting this for my bestie @leepace - the biggest intak lover i know. and special thanks to the besties @sunflowerseob and @strawberry-seob - the unhingedness in our gc keeps me going 🥰

if you read this: thank you so much! i hope you enjoy it~

So: your boyfriend in a collar. It started out as a joke. It really, truly did.

Intak showed you an ad that had come up on his phone one day while you were both just chilling in his room and that was all you needed for the gears to start turning.

“Baby, check this out! It’s a choker and it looks cool.” Intak eagerly shoved the phone into your hands so you could get a better look.

Sure enough, there was a choker on the screen. Intak was pretty fond of wearing items that accentuated his neck (and you were definitely not one to complain when he did). But this piece wasn’t exactly a choker.

“Takkie,” you started, pulling your boyfriend’s attention back to your face. “This isn’t a choker.”

His brows furrowed. “It’s not?”

“Nope - it’s actually a collar.”

The way his eyebrows shot up would have been comical if it wasn’t so endearingly. “O-Oh, right. Well that’s still cool!”

You laughed. “You into collars now, sweetie?”

Intak pretended to look perturbed. “I might be - so what if I am”?

“Well all I’d have to say to that is,” you placed your index finger along his jawline and slowly traced it down his neck. Intak gulped as you leaned closer.

“I can’t wait to find the perfect one for your pretty little neck.”

Intak’s face flushed faster than you’d ever seen it, and instead of responding he simply just tackled you to where he was hovering over you on the bed, you giggling the entire time.

You tucked that useful piece of information away in your mind and the day finally came: your package arrived.

You had it delivered to your house; even though you stayed mostly with Intak, you didn’t want to risk him seeing it beforehand. Once you opened the box, you noticed immediately how the package was much more intricate than you’d expected.

The item was encased in a velvet box, and when you opened it you let out a little gasp yourself. Intak was going to look divine in this, you called it right then.

The collar you had decided on wasn’t one like the leather piece Intak saw in that ad. You’d instead found a chain collar with a heart at each end - one of those that when you pulled on one end it got tighter. Intak always looked so good in chains so once you saw this in your search online you were a goner.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, prompting you to repackage the collar and place it in your bag. Intak was calling to see when you’d be stopping by.

“Hey, I’m leaving my place right now! See you soon.” You quickly answered him and left your house, feeling like you could barely contain your excitement during the entire drive to his place.

The night started out like most other ones tended to: dinner, a movie, and then some messing around that more often than not led to more. Before you could get too far, you remembered what was still waiting in your bag.

“Mm- wait,” you mumbled against Intak’s lips. He had just started to lay you back on the bed, hands wandering as they always did. He placed his hand on one of your hips where your shirt had started to ride up, rubbing softly while he waited for you to continue.

“Hm? What’s wrong?”

You smiled and gave him another quick kiss. “I forgot I brought something with me. Can I go grab it?”

“Yeah, sure… what is it, though?”

You giggled as you shimmied out from underneath him. “You’ll see in a second.”

As calm as you hoped you appeared, your heart was racing a mile a minute. Intak knew you had somewhat of a… fixation with his neck. You’d dabbled in seeing where his limits lied in the past: leaving marks, biting, even the occasional - but always very careful - breathplay. 

Intak was usually down to try anything you wanted, as you also were with him, and if one of you didn’t want to do something then it wouldn’t happen, no questions asked. Even still, you were nervous about what his reaction might be when he finally saw the collar.

The collar you had specially picked out for him. The collar that you would hopefully see around his neck soon - given that he wanted to try as well.

Intak was sitting up now, one leg crossed underneath him while he waited on you to come back. He raised a curious eyebrow once he saw the box in your hand but he didn’t say anything until you were sitting in front of him again.

“Ya know, out of all the things I was expecting you to pull out, a box wasn’t one of them.”

You playfully shoved his shoulder, watching his smile grow wider as he looked at you with so much fondness you could burst.

“It’s what’s inside the box, sweetie.”

“Love the emphasis you put on ‘inside’ there-” he tried to tease you again. You groaned but the smile on your face wasn’t going anywhere.

“Takkie, please just open the box.”

“Fiiiine, but only because you said please and you know how much I love to hear it.” Intak touched the tip of your nose as he finished talking, flustering you even more now.

You watched Intak open the box and peer inside, not daring to breathe while he did so. His face was first showing a hint of confusion before it shifted into curiosity once again. He held up the chain and let it dangle between his fingers. The chain hadn’t been secured with the ends yet, so it simply looked like a normal chain. He almost looked entranced while he watched the light glint off of the silver links.

He placed one end of the chain in one hand and tugged on it with the other some before speaking. “This is a really good, thick material. What made you want to get a new necklace?”

Oh, how you loved your sweet, naive boyfriend.

He pulled on it harder, seemingly impressed. “No, seriously, this is like good shit. You’re gonna look so pretty in this, baby.”

You almost didn’t want to burst his bubble but you knew if you didn’t tell him now you may never have the courage to again.

“Thank you but it’s, uh- it’s not for me.”

Intak’s eyebrows raised again; bless that man and his expressiveness, it was one of your favorite traits about him. 

“It’s for me?” He pointed to himself as he asked. Your heart ached at the cuteness as you nodded.

“Oh, thank you! I do love chains - it’s not exactly my style but since it’s from you I already love it.” Intak leaned forward to give you a kiss, one that had you giggling against his lips.

“What made you want to get me a necklace, though? It’s not my birthday and it’s not an important day for us-” Intak cut himself off as he looked mildly panicked “unless it is and I forgot, fuck, one second.”

Before Intak could dive over to the other side of the bed and grab his phone, you stopped him by wrapping your arms around him.

“Baby, hang on a minute,” you were laughing, feeling as he became less tense at your touch. You were always so happy that you had that effect on him. “It’s not a necklace.”

“It’s not?”

An almost identical conversation to the one you’d both had weeks ago when this idea planted itself in your head and refused to leave. It took root and grew into something that culminated in you researching collars for your pretty boyfriend and, well, here you were now.

“It’s not - it’s actually a collar.”

Intak dropped the chain altogether as he looked at you.

“You’re fucking with me, right?” 

You couldn’t tell from his tone at first how he felt and you started to wonder if you’d maybe made a mistake.

“I-I’m not. I really did get you one- but if you don’t want it, that’s totally ok! We can just forget it ever happened and-”

Intak stopped your rambling by picking the chain up again and placing it in one of your hands. You looked from the chain to his face and, to your relief, he was smiling. Hell, you’d even go so far as to say he was grinning, like he really wanted this.

“I was just surprised, is all. I love it,” he sounded a little more shy than you were used to when it came to him taking a more submissive role. “I don’t know how the fuck to use it, but - you can teach me, yeah?”

You let out a shaky breath, not realizing until then how all this was really affecting you.

“Of course I can, sweetie. Do you- do you want me to put it on you?”

“Please.”

That one word started a fire in you that spread throughout your whole body. It got even worse when Intak suddenly stripped himself of his shirt.

“Sorry, wouldn’t want it to, uh, get caught or anything. At least not on that,” he nodded to the shirt he’d just thrown on the floor. His words didn’t go unnoticed by you and you started to think that maybe he was really looking forward to trying this, too.

You placed the collar around his neck before you chickened out, pulling one end through the loop of the other and letting it fall against his chest once you were done. He looked down at the chain and tugged on the 2 hearts that were now entwined.

“Kinda like us if you think about it, huh?” He gave you a dazzling smile and dear god you were so far gone for this man-

You couldn’t help it anymore as you lunged forward, kissing Intak before he could say anything else to rattle your nerves and turn your brain to mush. You could feel the laughter rumbling through his chest as he held you against him.

“You good?” That was your check in phrase. You had leaned back some to where you were comfortably straddling him and placed your arms around his neck, softly playing with tufts of his hair that you could feel.

“I’m great,” he responded, placing his hands on your hips to stabilize you both. You both had key words you’d established when you were still exploring what you wanted to try earlier on in the relationship, and that was his way of letting you know he was ready.

You pushed Intak to where he was fully laying down, getting more comfortable in his lap. You trailed a hand down his chest and stomach, relishing in the shudder you got from him. You could already feel him getting hard in his shorts and you’d barely just started yet.

“Gonna show me how this works now, or what?” So Intak was choosing to be a brat today.

“I will…if you behave.” You started to tug on one of the hearts, eyes focused on the chain as it started to slide. Intak’s breath hitched.

“I think I can- I can do that.” Intak swallowed audibly, staring at the end of the chain you held in your hand.

Ok maybe he decided against being a brat tonight. Rewarding him, you pulled the chain tighter, just enough until it was almost touching his neck. His eyes widened as he finally understood how it worked.

“Good boy,” you leaned forward to where your face hovered above his. Intak let out a whine, subtly moving his hips. “How does it feel?”

Intak’s body was warm and the chain had to be cold. He didn’t seem to mind it much, but still, you were big on checking on his comfortability.

“Feels-feels nice,” Intak responded but looked like he was struggling to get the words out. Breathing heavy, pupils blown. He already looked fucked out. 

His next request took your breath away.

“Can you…can you make it tighter?”

You placed a light kiss on his lips as you granted his wish, pulling the chain to where it was now snug against his neck. Intak moaned into your mouth, and when you pulled away you saw him with his eyes closed and brows upturned. When he opened them again, his eyes were half-lidded, full of a desire that mirrored your own.

“Fuck.” He spoke softly, almost like the word came out without his permission. His grip on your hips was almost bruising.

Another gentle tug had his hands pulling at the edge of your shirt instead as he tried not to squirm. “Off. Please.”

You didn’t want to tease the boy too much, at least not to start with. You pulled back to discard your shirt and immediately Intak was on you.

He sat up, wrapping his arms around you to pull you closer. Since you’d dropped the chain, the collar had loosened some with his movement. His mouth found your neck and he started trailing open-mouthed kisses down to your collarbone. His hands splayed out against your back, once again gripping you like he was afraid to let you go.

You could feel the coolness of the chain against your own skin now, making you shiver in his hold. Intak responded by grinding up against you, biting right above your collarbone. You let out a gasp, hands flying to his hair to hold him there.

“Need you,” he mumbled the words against your skin. “Want you.”

Note to self: collaring Intak made him much more needy. You were thrilled to learn this and would absolutely use it to your advantage.

“You have me, baby,” you tilted his chin up so he would look at you. His lips were split-slick, shiny as his tongue darted out to lick them.

“Or did you want something else? I can’t read your mind, you know.” Your voice held the smallest hint of derision, another sign that you were slipping into your own persona for what was to come.

“I don’t know,” the words came out fast, “Just need you.”

You tsk-tsk-tsked at him. “You can do better than that, baby. Do you want me here,” you touched his lips, suppressing a chuckle at how he instantly opened his mouth like it was a Pavlovian response.

“Or here,” you lightly brushed against one of his nipples, making him tense up underneath you. He sucked in a breath, waiting to see what else you would do.

“Or do you need me here,” you ground down right on top of where his cock was nestled underneath you, still trapped in his shorts. 

“Ah-,” Intak’s hands fell to your hips again and he tried to meet you in the middle. You stopped yourself by placing a hand on his stomach, waiting patiently for him to stop thrusting.

“As pretty as you sound, that’s not an answer. You wanna try again?”

Voice dripping with saccharine, you tried to coax him into answering you again. This time with words, and not just his body.

“Here, please,” he thrusted again as he emphasized his words. 

The begging sounded so sweet, like music to your ears. You planted one last kiss on his lips before you started to move down the bed.

“I’m gonna take your shorts off now, baby, ok? You good?”

Intak’s bottom lip was pulled between his teeth as he nodded. Knowing that wouldn’t be enough, he followed up with “Great, I’m great.”

At his go ahead you removed his shorts, now met with the sight of his black briefs he wore. A very obvious tent was right in front of your face. You wanted to give him a little relief, so you palmed him.

Intak’s reaction was immediate, his thighs tensing as he let out a groan. He’d always been sensitive, but never this sensitive.

Fuck, why hadn’t you ever thought about a collar before? This shit was a real game changer.

“Can I take these off, too?” You kept palming him as you asked, enjoying how hard he was trying to not move.

“Please, yeah.” He sounded breathless, the top of his chest now flushed the same pretty color like his face.

You decided not to torture him any more for now. You got rid of his boxers and immediately wrapped your hand around his cock once it was free. Without teasing him, you dove straight in, taking as much of him in your mouth as you could in one go.

“Oh fuck!” Intak’s hands flew to your hair, pulling it up out of habit so it was away from your face before he started pulling on it.

You made a choked sound, causing vibrations to stimulate him even further. He was already twitching in your mouth - you couldn’t believe he was this close already.

You kept up your technique for a bit - sucking what you could fit, using your hand for what you couldn’t fit, and alternating between slow licks and hollowing out your cheeks as you sped up. Intak’s noises were driving you insane, especially the little ah, ah, ahs that he kept pushing out.

After a bit, however, you started to notice that the noises were coming more frequently than they usually did whenever you blew him, and your curiosity got the better of you. Your hand resumed its pace once you let him fall out of your mouth, looking up to see what was causing him to moan so unabashedly like that.

The sight took your breath away and if you hadn’t been soaked before you would’ve been now.

Intak had one hand in between his collar and neck while the other pulled on the end of the chain tight. He was so overwhelmed from everything you were doing and his pulling on the chain that he was much closer than you’d realized.

You’d been so gone yourself that you didn’t even notice when his hands disappeared from your hair.

“Baby,” you cooed at him, your hand speed a big contrast from how you were talking. Your voice had an instant effect on him as well, it seemed, making him instinctively pull tighter on the chain. “You gonna cum for me so soon?”

“Fuck, fuck,” Intak tried to swallow down another moan so he could answer you properly, but he failed miserably. “Don’t-don’t want to y-yet.”

“So that’s a no,” you teased him, giving his head a kitten lick just to see him flinch. “Aw, but you always look so pretty when you cum for me.”

“Shit,” Intak cried out. “You’re making it really fucking hard not to right now, ah-”

“I know, I’m so mean when you’re being so good.” You took him into your mouth again, sinking all the way down until you felt him in your throat. Intak thrusted out of reflex, making you gag but you held yourself there, wanting him to get the most out of it.

“Baby, fuck,” Intak sounded like he was barely holding it together. “Stop, please- can’t take much more.”

“So you don’t wanna cum?”

Intak whined, sounding so frustrated. “No, I do. But I want to do it with you.”

“Hmm…” you pretended to think it over, your hand still wrapped around him as he continued to twitch in your hold. “I think we can make that work.”

“Thank fuck,” Intak sighed out as you pulled yourself away from him to give him a little break.

You rid yourself of whatever clothes you had left and settled yourself on his lap again. His thumbs traced soothing circles above your hip bones as you got situated, his dick once again underneath you but without the extra layers this time.

“How do you want to do this?” You were giving him the choice, he’d been so good, so sweet for you tonight and he deserved it. “Whatever you want, baby. It’s yours.”

“Ha, o-ok. Uh,” Intak looked into your eyes and gave you a crooked smile, eyes hazy with lust that had yet to spill over. “Can you ride me?”

“Yeah? That what you want?” You started to sit up so you could position yourself on top of him. With how wet you were, you knew he’d immediately be able to slide in, no problem. It might take a second but you’d get him to fit. You always did.

“Yeah, want that. Need that,” he answered, gasping as he felt your hovering over him, his tip starting to get wet. “You good?”

He asked you this time, and it made your stomach flutter. “I’m great, baby. More than great.”

“Good,” his smile widened, “Me too.” 

You started to lower yourself down, the stretch somewhat painful but still very welcomed. Intak was breathing hard, looking at where your bodies were connected, focused on you taking him in. When he finally bottomed out, you both let out a sigh of pleasure. 

Before either of you could start moving, you noticed that Intak’s fingers were dancing along your sides up and down your ribcage - a habit that you knew he did when he was nervous.

“Takkie?” You didn’t think he was suddenly not into this anymore, but you had to check. You always had to. “You good?”

“Great, baby, I’m great. Don’t worry. I, just, uh-” he couldn’t look you in the eyes, another habit he had when he was nervous. He found eye contact to be hard generally, unless it was with you, so you knew something had to be up.

“You what?”

“Can I ask for one more thing?” He finally looked at your face again, eyes now set with determination.

“Yes?” You phrased it like a question, but nodded anyway for reassurance.

“Can you,” he took a breath, “ Fuck, ok. Can you pull on my collar while you ride me?”

You’d never heard a hotter sentence in your life, holy fuck.

“Fuck, yes, baby, I can do that. And I won’t even make you say please,” you teased him, moving your hips around in a circle just to feel him shudder.

“I’ll say it anyway because I really fucking want it-” you cut him off with a finger to his lips.

“You don’t have to say please - you know why?”

Intak shook his head, but his eyes were no longer lidded when he felt you pick up the end of the chain.

You tugged on it the same way as you’d started, to where the chain slid just enough to meet his neck but not be pulled taut against him. You leaned forward, chest meeting his own, lips just above his as you looked into his eyes.

“Because,” you pulled the chain tight, aware of how tight it was to still be careful, but tight enough to get your point across. The gasp he let out had you clenching around him.

“There’s no need for more begging when you already sound so lovely like this.”

Intak couldn’t even think of a way to respond before you were picking yourself up only to drop back down a moment later. You set a fast pace from the jump, something you knew both of you liked and craved when you were together like this.

What made tonight different, however, was by the time you actually started riding him, you were already close to falling apart and didn’t even fucking realize it until it was too late. All of your teasing him had affected you just as much, it seemed, and praises couldn’t stop falling from your lips.

“Fuck, my good boy, you’re doing so perfect for me. Pretty little noises, ah- perfect fucking cock.” Intak’s grip on you was strong and kept getting stronger with each word. You’d definitely have some marks tomorrow - just how you liked it.

After a little bit, Intak was helping you by meeting you halfway before you let him take the lead. He was slamming into you so hard that you were almost afraid you’d fall off, if not for the hold he had on you. How he was managing that while also whining and near tears was beyond you, but you knew he looked fucking gorgeous while he was.

As you were admiring the love of your life, Intak’s hand was suddenly in your line of vision as he grabbed the hand you were holding the chain with. Your brain registered it almost a little too late and you resisted him trying to pull it tighter.

“Please-”

“Baby, I’m sorry, it’s already too tight. Need you with me, yeah?” Your tone was soothing - you knew what he wanted but couldn’t give it to him, and as much as you hated that, being safe was so important.

He shook his head, still tugging on your hand but a little lighter this time. “Don’t need tighter,” he moaned, “need to see.”

“See what, baby?”

Intak moved your hand to where it was now in his line of vision.

“Want to see you holding it. Want to see you in control.” He broke off with a groan, twitching inside of you at a particularly harsh thrust. “Want to see how I’m tethered to you.”

You couldn’t even warn him before you were cumming, his words enough to push you over that edge. As you were clenching around him, you wound the chain tighter around your hand where he could see it without pulling it tighter against his neck.

“C’mon, baby,” you tried for him, out of breath and overly sensitive but you needed to get him there with you - however long it took.

“Wanna see you fall apart for me. You’ve been so good, always feel so good for me, go ahead and let go-”

“Fuck, I love you, fuck!” Intak’s head fell back harder against the pillow as he came, pulling you forward with the collar. You had just enough of your wits about you to slacken your grip, letting him fall without restricting him too much.

The feeling of him releasing inside of you had you shuddering all over again, sensitivity spiking but still not wanting it to end. These moments where you were just there together, entangled in each other as you let your bodies take over - these were among some of the moments you cherished most with your favorite person.

The come down was always a little hard because neither of you wanted to pull away. You pulled the chain away from his neck so the ends were almost touching again before you laid on top of Intak. You could feel him soften inside of you as he rubbed your back, no words shared between you two in the moment because there didn’t need to be. You listened to his heartbeat as it evened out, no longer beating frantically like yours had also been moments prior.

“I love you, too, just so you know.” You finally broke the silence, Intak’s chuckling moving you along with him.

“I know, baby. Trust me,” Intak placed a kiss on top of your head. “If I know one thing in life, it’s that.”

“Damn, put a collar on you one time and you get all sappy afterwards.” You could almost see him rolling his eyes at your comment even though there was no way for you to see his face right now.

“As if I don’t sometimes get sentimental after sex.” He was patting your head now, letting his fingers sift through your hair. “That’s usually your role, though, so you may be onto something there.”

You made a half-hearted attempt at a scoff before deciding it wasn’t worth it, smiling as you heard him laugh. You closed your eyes, cheek still against his chest while you slowly started to drift off.

“Hey, love?”

“Hm,” you answered.

“Thank you,” another kiss on top of your head. “Your surprise was a good choice.”

You lifted your head so you could look at him, adoring the lazy smile painted on his face.

“You into collars now, sweetie?” You were referring back to what you’d asked him that kickstarted this whole thing.

His answer this time, however, was different.

“Fuck yeah I am. But only for you.”

thank you for reading! 💙

[unfortunatebrainfarts]

After working with your friendly neighborhood intergalactic space cowboy for quite some time, you've managed to become pretty damn good at understanding the gist of what he means to say

Boothill x reader

A/n: OK SO, first fanfic in like 6 years and it's for an intergalactic space cowboy

Tbh I have no idea why I wrote this, my ipad apps are constantly monitored by the teacher and I really have nothing better to do than go on my notes app and pretend I'm writing notes

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY = I HOPE YOU GET FUCKED BY THE IPC AND ROLL IN YOUR OWN DEBT AND SUFFERING (or something like that)

BLESS YOUR HEART = FUCK YOU

PRAY FOR ME = FUCK ME

LOVELY = FUCK

YOU WONDERFUL PERSON = YOU BITCH

Well ain't you just a sweetheart? = Well you're just a little bitchboy aren'tcha?

God love him = He was fuckin' underdeveloped as a fetus wasn't he (Something along the lines of 'he's dumb as shit')

"Hm. Seems about right."

To others, your furrowed brows, tense posture, and concentrated gaze at just one singular page of your notebook may make it seem as if whatever was on that page was something life changing. And honestly, they might as well have been right since you were one step closer to understanding what the hell Boothill was spitting out more than half the time.

You recall the first time you were assigned a mission with him — "BLESS YOUR HEART YOU WONDERFUL PERSON," cue you snapping your head towards the gruff voice seeing the cowboy in all his glory easily decimating the dozens of grunts in his vicinity with a toothy grin no less, which you note are very, very sharp.

His long, flowy hair caught your attention. How was it so white and clean even with all the fights you know gets into? Does it ever get yanked? What shampoo does he use?

"Now I don' mind some ooglin', but wouldn't ya say we should keep our eyes on our enemies darlin'?"

His voice snaps you out of your trance and you come to to a shovel nearing your head. You instinctively cover your face with your hands anticipating the pain, the pain which never came since when you put them down, you see that Boohill had already left a bullet in his head.

"Spacin' out at a space cowboy? Ain't that rich."

.

Ignoring the fact that he saved you from having to get facial reconstruction surgery, the reason you almost got a face full of shovel in the first place was because of the ridiculous curse on his synesthesia beacon.

That's why you've been devoted to trying to decode the albeit hilarious, rather inconvenient in a battle things he says. You've tried asking Boothill to write them down, but his handwriting could have him assigned as a doctor in no time so you gave up on that idea quite quickly.

"Whatcha starin' at so intently darlin'?

Your train of thought was abruptly interrupted by the man of the hour mindlessly snatching your notebook right out of your hands. "Aren't you supposed to stop thieves, not act like one," you ask half heartedly. It was nothing less of what you'd expect from Boothill of all people — no, cyborgs??

"Heh, this ain't thievery 's sharin'! Er, what's that one sayin' again... share to care, care to share, sharin' to carin'? Eh whatever ya get what I mean don'tcha sugar?" He retorted, you roll your eyes mentally as he put his focus back onto the notebook. To be honest you were surprised he could even read considering his handwriting was that bad.

As Boothill read each and every one of your 'translations', his grin only grew wider and wider showing the spiky teeth you don't know how are natural but have grown accustomed to seeing. Just then, a burst of unhinged laughter randomly filled the entire lounge room you were sitting in. The weird glances and whispering were already starting but Boothill didn't care, he was Boothill.

Not wanting to be associated with the man at that very moment, you stand up to leave him comically rolling on the floor. However, you couldn't even do that because the moment you stood up, Boothill snatched your leg and dragged it so that you would fall back down. This time, onto the floor with him. "Well ain't you something sweetcheeks, ya got me alll figured out huh?"
.

.

It's been two months. Ever since Boothill realized that you had actually tried to figure out the true meaning behind his words — and actually got them relatively right — he's been using you to spew out insults overtime. Honestly it was like you had become a pokemon, you could just picture it in your head.

BOOTHILL BROUGHT OUT ____

____ USED SWEAR! IT WAS SUPER EFFECTIVE

Either way, it wasn't that bad since though you might be imagining things, it feels as if you've grown ever so slightly closer to the eccentric space cowboy.

You continue to observe boothill and add more and more onto your list of translations, but apparently you fail to notice that he no longer uses any casual pet names like 'darling' or 'sweetcheeks' anymore. At least, not for anyone but you.

[sciderman]

i’m sorry if this has been asked before but do you by any chance have any recs for wade ? i’m currently reading the 2008 run which i really enjoy

i'm glad you're enjoying way's run! deadpool fans are generally split down the middle on that one - i think it's unfairly dunked on, but it's not by any stretch my favourite either - but it's got enough goodness in it to keep you entertained, for sure.

i do kind of miss the episodic nature of past runs - nowadays series all seem to have a long-running plotline that just isn't satisfying at the end of it. but way's run has a lovely nomadic structure to it so that even if one story doesn't land for you, it quickly moves onto another that might. for a main-series, i really think that's the way comics should be. marvel, take notes.

for me there's honestly no portrayal of wade wilson that even comes close to how much i love him in circle chase (1992) - for me that'll always be the ultra-deadpool to me. every subsequent deadpool iteration is just trying and failing to have what this deadpool has. this is lightning-in-a-bottle deadpool - he peaked so, so early.

he's eveyrthing to me. he's zany - he's despicable - he's completely bitchy and insufferable, but beneath it all pulsates the heart of a insecure little child.

i don't know - if i could erase all deadpool media and save one book to encapsulate everything i love about wade, this would be it. no other book comes close.

my favourite deadpool books are generally nicieza - i just think he gets wade's brattishness downpat, better than any other writer. every writer kind of has a distinct voice for wade - he's not consistent by any measure between writers. nicieza writes him bratty - kelly writes him sliiiiiightly more adult, more... i don't know, a little less shaudenfreude, a little more tragic. way writes wade as – well, a total basketcase who's kind of entirely self-absorbed. duggan writes wade - probably as the most mature he's ever been. kind of just cynical and mopey. and every writer since then's tenure has kind of been too short for me to really get a feel on.

i'd say some of the stand-alones are good - night of the living deadpool is fun - just a good, balanced, likeable portrayal of deadpool that is really accessible.

cable & deadpool is a personal favourite - but it's really, really hit-or-miss. it's tough to recommend because a lot of people don't like it (and i totally get why. but also wade is so, so pathetic funny.)

uncanny x-force, conversely, is a fan favourite amongst deadpool fans - it might be one of the most likeable deadpools you'll see. he's just so, so likeable.

i love him your honor.

dracula's gauntlet is a fun story - would recommend. very fun. also hot monster wife.

split second might be my second favourite deadpool book ever.

i think that's all my favourites - god speed and good luck!

[lovelyalicorn]

Unheard Love

You're born with the first words your soulmate says to you as a tattoo on your wrist. You know who your soulmate is as they say those words when you meet for the first time face to face. Today, we learn the story of a boy with a blank wrist. 

Chandra was just another boy. He went to school, got good grades, and read comics. However, the strange thing about him was; Chandra had a blank wrist. Usually, people with blank wrists never have a soulmate, and he was so terrified that he'll go his entire life without experiencing the kind of love you can only get from a soulmate. He got bullied so much for not having any writing on his wrists, and Chandra withdrew from everyone and just wore long sleeves. With very few but close friends, he was officially an outcast. He sighed but tried to be positive and go about his life, but it was hard. 

One day, his friends convinced him to go to a party, even though he despised them. Too many people around to mock him or worse, and it didn't help that "appropriate party wear" rarely included long sleeves. He looked in the mirror and sighed, staring at his blank wrists, pulling on some bracelets to cover them. He knew they would slide down, but it's better than nothing. He squared his shoulders and left. 

The party was awful. Chandra knew no one there, and his friends had left and mingled and had fun or spent time with their mates. Debating whether or not to exit the party, he started looking for Kai, his best friend. "Hey! The party's great, right? Come meet my new friends?"

"Okay," he sighed. 

"This is Luna, Iris, Kirsten, and Rohini." Kai gestured to each person. The last one, Rohini, was possibly the prettiest girl he had ever seen. 

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? I'm so sorry, ignore me," he mentally smacked himself. 

Stupid, you keep forgetting that you have no soulmate. Why torture yourself like this? Besides, she'll never like you now, especially with that pickup line. 

He felt someone touch his arm, snapping him out of his thoughts. It was Rohini. She showed her wrist to him, and the flowing script said, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

"But, how? I thought I had no soulmate! Look!" he showed her his blank wrist. 

She signed something to him, which made him realize that he had nothing on his wrist because his soulmate was Deaf, and the mark only recorded spoken words. "You're my soulmate?" 

She nodded, and he hugged her while sobbing tears of joy. "I thought I'd never find true love."

They broke apart, and she signed while Luna interpreted for her. "I had always thought that no one would love me or want a Deaf girl as their soulmate. I thought that once they found out I was Deaf, they'd reject me. Thank you for proving me wrong."

"If someone had rejected you like that, they don't know what they're missing out. You aren't any less because you can't hear. People learn other languages for their mate, and if they can't be bothered to learn ASL to speak to you, they're wrong."

"Thank you," Rohini said, tears in her eyes. 

"Hey man, we gotta go. My dad's here, and you're carpooling with me," said Nathan.

Chandra and Rohini quickly exchanged numbers, promising to see each other soon. He wished they could spend more time together, but they had the rest of their lives before them. He had never expected something like this to happen. Ever since he was born, everyone around him had immediately condemned him to never finding true love simply because of his blank wrist. There needs to be more visibility and acceptance of people who can't verbally speak or have blank wrists like him. The world was so cruel to those who are different, and he was so tired of it. They were the same as everyone else, and besides, there was no such thing as "normal." 

"Did you say something?" he asked.

"Yes. I asked if you had fun at the party," said Mr.Holland.

He looked out the window and smiled, "Yeah. I did."

Mr.Holland smiled and focused on the road again. It was nice to see him smiling. He always seemed so sad and alone in the world. He wondered what had made him so happy but decided to leave it and enjoy his happiness. 

Chandra looked up ASL classes near him and signed up for one. He intended to keep his promise to Rohini and learn ASL for her. 

He entered his class, a private one-on-one with a tutor. 

"Hello! My name is Jack, (signs the entire time they're talking, making sure to be slow, every time they speak). What's your name?"

"My name is Chandra. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too. Shall we get started?"

"Sure."

(basic ASL because I forgot.)

"Bye! See you tomorrow!" called Jack.

He signed goodbye (insert goodbye sign) and smiled. Maybe he can do this. Perhaps he can learn to help and accommodate Rohini. He was thinking about this when he got a text from a new number. (idk the signs for most of this)

R: Hello, this is Rohini. You probably don't remember me

C: Hey! Of course, I remember you! You're a hard one to forget

R: You sure?

C: Completely

R: It's okay if you say no, but would you like to go on a date?

C: Yes! Of course! Where do you want to go? There's this cafe I know nearby if you'd like

R: That sounds nice, and the name?

C: It's called the Roasted Bean Diner, and their scones are to die for

R: Sounds good. Are you free Friday night?

C: Yeah! Is it okay if I ask you a question?

R: Sure?

C: I started learning sign, so could you tell me how you'd prefer to communicate on the date? I'm probably not good enough yet to have a regular conversation.

R: Don't apologize. Thank you for learning it for me. For now, could we try texting if it's okay?

C: Sure! See you then!

He put his phone away with a smile. He never thought he'd get love like this, and he got to experience it. Now he finally did, and it was with such a wonderful person. Now, to make plans for a first date to remember. 

Friday arrived, but not quickly enough. They both wanted it to come around so badly, so they could see each other again. No one at his school had seen him crack a smile, much less beam an entire week. She had done so much for him, even without knowing. The lessons had been going great, and he finished the introduction unit. Soon, if all goes well, he'd be fluent! He knew he was too optimistic and that things'll probably go wrong the way it always does. It was hard to think of that right now when he had a love for the first time. He prayed to the gods for this to be the first thing in forever to turn out better than he'd thought if such a thing was possible.

He arrived at the cafe and found a booth for them, away from the crowds. 

C: I found us a booth in the back

R: Nearly there, thanks!

He looked up to see her smile and wave at him. He signed (hello), which made her face light up. His phone dinged

R: Thank you so much for learning it for me

He signed (you're welcome, nice to meet you again)

She giggled (nice to see you too. You look handsome) 

He blushed (thanks, you look gorgeous)

She looked away, flustered. 

(It's true (finger spelling?))

R: You sure?

C: Positive

Tearing up, she typed No one outside of my family has told me that. 

He wiped her tears away. Then I'm going to tell you every day because you are.

R: Thank you

"What can I get you two lovebirds?" A waiter suddenly asked, startling them. 

"I'll have a coffee, please."

Rohini pointed to a picture of a blueberry scone and a latte. 

"I'll be back with your orders soon,"

C: Have you been here before?

R: Once or twice with my friends, what about you?

C: I come here pretty often. I, never mind, it's stupid.

R: What is it? 

He sighed and flushed. I liked to play this game where I invented backstories for the people here. 

R: That sounds fun! What do you think that lady over there is like? She gestured.

(Nice)

(C-H-A-R-M-I-N-G?)

The lady turned around and saw them signing. "Why are you waving your hands around and making gang signs, hmm? Speak like the rest of us. You've got mouths, so use them or get a hearing aid already! Just stop pretending!" She turned around and muttered about loveless pretenders who'll never get far in life like this and how they should fix it already. 

Rohini started crying, trying to hide it but failing. Chandru moved closer to her and signed (H-U-G U?). She nodded. He held her close and rubbed her back, helping her calm down before he started to speak. Her sobbing had slowly gone down to a few tears running down her cheeks. The employees kicked out the lady for her comments and apologized to her. He typed out everything he wanted to say to her and sent it.

C: What she said wasn't true. She's a sad woman who tries to cancel their pain by taking it out on others. Her thoughts aren't valid. What matters is what you think of yourself, what you know is fundamentally true about yourself. She will regret saying this one day and don't let it affect you. A single misguided person is not going to change who you are. You're one of the strongest people I know, and nothing is going to change that.

R: Really?

He nodded, and she hugged him. They might be broken and imperfect, but they can help each other heal and go through it. After all, isn't that what true love is?

THE END 

[tofutortoise]

My Experience at The Tempest (少年社中) + Meeting Imata Taira!!

On Monday I saw Shonen Shachu’s 25th anniversary production of The Tempest in Tokyo! Overall, I had an amazing experience, and even got to meet IMATA TAIRA HIMSELF!!! And speak to him, which was unreal. Details below, but also spoilers for the play! 

First off, I got my ticket through the lottery system, and somehow I ended up with a fantastic seat on the first floor! I haven’t had great luck with random seats in the past, but this time I sure did. It was a pretty small theater with excellent acoustics. The set was minimal but well utilized. I was really excited about the costumes after seeing all the glittering visuals on the official website (see here), but for some reason, the actual costumes they wore for the play were completely different and noticeably lower quality. I was particularly disappointed that the women’s costumes had major downgrades. On the bright side, Hiroshi Yazaki (playing Kagura/Prospero) got an even better costume than the one he wears in the official posters. He looked like a prince! 

As for the story, I can’t say I was the biggest fan. However, this is probably on me more than the production lmao. Because it’s called The Tempest, I assumed that this would simply be a production of Shakespeare’s The Tempest. However, as I quickly realized while watching the show and growing ever more confused, this is not the case!! It’s actually an original show about a theater group dealing with the loss of one of their members, reckoning with what it means to be an actor and bringing happiness to people, following their love for acting, etc., all while they put on a production of The Tempest. Scenes from Shakespeare’s Tempest are therefore interwoven into the play, and sometimes I admit I had a hard time understanding what was going on (the many time skips/flashbacks didn’t help on this point lol). Honestly I should have read the plot synopsis ahead of time, but because I assumed it was just the basic Tempest I didn’t bother– oops. 

There were points where I was quite invested and moved, but overall I wouldn’t say the flow of the story was particularly great. However, my experience was also limited by my intermediate Japanese, and I’m sure a lot of it went over my head. 

I think all of the actors did an amazing job! Imata Taira was definitely a highlight, and he portrayed a very troubled, grieving, angry character with artfulness and incredible intensity. Seeing him, along with Yazaki and Shogo in person, was absolutely unreal. As a long time Hakuouki fan, going from first seeing them on my computer in Hakumyu 8 years ago to watching them in person in Japan is a dream come true. 

Now, let’s get to the most exciting part– I MET IMATA TAIRA!!! AND SPOKE TO HIM!!!! AHHH! Basically after the show there was a special line where you could go to buy a piece of merch and talk to Taira for a moment. I had no idea they would be doing this so I hadn’t prepared anything to say to him, and I was SO nervous!! Turns out I needn’t have worried though, because Taira is such a lovely person and it was a great interaction. First of all, when the person in front of me moved on and I stepped up, Taira’s eyes went comically wide and he let out a gasp. I was expecting some level of surprise because I was a foreigner (blue eyes, red hair, etc.) at a completely Japanese play, but he was seriously taken aback. I spoke to him entirely in Japanese, of course, and thanked him for a wonderful performance, but he was just kinda scrambling for words and saying stuff like “Ah I’m so sorry I don’t know English!!”. He was so sweet and even bowed and put his head to the table and apologized for not knowing English T-T. I told him that even though my Japanese isn’t great, the power of theater is such that you don’t need to understand the words to be moved, and he thanked me again and even gave me his best “thank you!” in English too! He was so incredibly kind and genuine, and I found his reaction to be hilarious. It seemed like he was just as nervous to speak to me as I was to speak to him! Absolutely amazing experience!!!! The whole thing still feels absolutely unreal to me. I never thought I would have the opportunity to actually speak to one of the actors who has meant so much to me over the years. What a wonderful way to start off 2024 :) 

If anyone wants to chat about the play or has any questions about seeing it, feel free to PM anytime!

[noeggets]

Thanks for responding to my ask so quickly!

I read through your response and I take no offense, don't worry. It's nice to see other views on the idea, even if they don't entirely agree with it.

For my Civil War AU (if you wanna call it that), there would definitely be some hesitation from Shadow, Espio, Whisper, and Lanolin if they winded up having to fight their friends to get to Eggman, but considering Shadow in IDW was aiming to outright kill him, I could probably see him manifesting the guts to do so, especially if he's executing Eggman on GUN's orders. Whisper will definitely be in pain over having to fight Tangle, the one person who brought light back to her life, but would attempt to mask her feelings and try doing so anyway, only to finally give up in the end, because as much as she hates Eggman, she also can't stand losing someone ever again, and I think she'd also be reminded of what Tangle taught her.

As for Espio? Idk, I don't entirely know his character well enough to determine if he'd be willing to go through with fighting his team (and maybe even Cream) to get to Eggman, but if he made a vow to stop him no matter what, then I guess he'd follow through.

And yeah, Lanolin being manipulated into believing Eggman's death is what's best for the planet is sorta what I'm going for here. At the end though, she'll definitely come around.

As for Surge and Kit? My idea involved those two attempting to spike a war between the heroes by motivating some of them (being the aforementioned ones above) with the idea that Sonic's pacifist ideals of freedom are wrong and that they're better off killing Eggman. It's not exactly fully fleshed out, I know, considering Surge and Whisper could not be on worse terms than they are right now, but I think eventually they'd (reluctantly) agree to a truce for their common goal. (Of course Surge is secretly using them to get Eggman out of the way before making them her next targets but they wouldn't know that yet.)

So yeah this is sorta how I imagine this whole thing going down. If you're still not fully onboard with it, I don't mind.

Like the idea is interesting to me and if i saw someone comic it out i would like be so onboard with this but it's sad :( like we wanna hunt Eggman that's funny but also pitting sonic and his friends against eachother creates interesting drama like the feeling of "HUH, im intrigued" and "NOO don't fight!" and "this is so funny" jitnsdjkgnhbh im onboard with the idea i am.

i wanna see Surge and Whisper dynamic played out so bad. Cause Surge and Whisper could probably form some sort of friendship i wont call it a friendship but a relationship dynamic that they could work so well together but they clash when it comes to personal affairs. I myself would like to make stories exploring them.

i was telling my friend about this ask and when we were talking about Shadow i came to that Espio he's a ninja and ninja's have honor and all that so like, Espio if it was honorable to end Eggman he'd do it because he was told to whether he wanted to or not, your choice doesn't matter in honor, say: if nobody told him to. Otherwise i don't think he would think it honorable to do that HOWEVER roughing Eggman up is entirely not off the table. and maybe a happy little accident (not so accident) happens oopsy, Eggman is dead WOW how did that happen? but Espio would defiantly feel guilty over that IDK just throwing ideas all over and my thoughts.

The Ninja aspect of Espio is never explored and i want it explored so badly

[mariacallous]

From 2015.

Excerpted from Blueprint for Revolution: How to Use Rice Pudding, Lego Men, and Other Nonviolent Techniques to Galvanize Communities, Overthrow Dictators, or Simply Change the World, by Srdja Popovic. Out now by Spiegel & Grau.

It was early on in our efforts to take down Slobodan Milosevic, and like all novice activists, we had a moment of reckoning. Looking around the room at one of our meetings, we realized that we were a bunch of Serbian kids, and rather than focus on what we had going for us, we began obsessing about everything we didn’t have. We didn’t have an army. We didn’t have a lot of money. We had no access to media, which was virtually all state-run. The dictator, we realized, had both a vision and the means to make it come true; his means involved instilling fear. We had a much better vision, but we thought on that grim evening, no way of turning it into a reality.

It was then that we came up with the smiling barrel.

The idea was really very simple. As we chatted, someone kept talking about how Milosevic only won because he made people afraid, and someone else said that the only thing that could trump fear was laughter. It was one of the wisest things I’ve ever heard. As Monty Python skits have always been up there right with Tolkien for me, I knew very well that humor doesn’t just make you chuckle—it makes you think. We started telling jokes. Within an hour, it seemed to us entirely possible that all we really needed to bring down the regime were a few healthy laughs.  And we were eager to start laughing.

We retrieved an old and battered barrel from a nearby construction site and delivered it to our movement’s “official” designer—my best friend, Duda, a designer—and asked him to draw a realistic portrait of the fearsome leader’s face. Duda was delighted to help. When we came back a day or two later, we had ourselves Milosevic-on-a-barrel, grinning an evil grin, his forehead marked by the barrel’s numerous rust spots. It was a face so comical that even a 2-year-old would have found it amusing. But we weren’t done. We asked Duda to paint a big, pretty sign that read “Smash his face for just a dinar.” That was about two cents at the time, so it was a pretty good deal. Then we took the sign, the barrel, and a baseball bat to Knez Mihailova Street, the main pedestrian boulevard in Belgrade. Right off Republic Square, Knez Mihailova Street is always filled with shoppers and strollers, as this is where everyone comes to check out the latest fashions and meet their friends for drinks in the afternoons. We placed the barrel and the sign smack in the middle of the street—right at the center of all the action—and hastily retreated to, the Russian Emperor, a nearby coffee shop, to watch.

The first few passersby who noticed the barrel and the sign seemed confused, unsure what to make of the brazen display of dissidence right there in the open. The following 10 people who checked it out were more relaxed; some even smiled, and one went as far as picking up the bat and holding it for a few moments before putting it down and quickly walking away. Then, the moment we’d been waiting for: A young man, just a few years younger than us, laughed out loud, searched his pockets, took out a dinar, plopped it into a hole on top of the barrel, picked up the bat, and with a gigantic swing smashed Milosevic in the face. You could hear the solid thud reverberate five blocks in each direction. He must have realized that with the few remaining independent radio and newspapers of Belgrade criticizing the government all the time, one dent in a barrel wasn’t going to land him in prison. To him, the risk of action was acceptably low. And once he took his first crack at Milosevic’s face, others started to realize that they too could get away with it. It was something between peer pressure and a mob mentality. Soon curious bystanders lined up for a turn at bat and took their own swings. People started to stare, then to point, then to laugh. Before long some parents were encouraging their children who were too small for the bat to kick the barrel instead with their tiny legs. Everybody was having fun, and the sound of this barrel being smashed was echoing all the way down to Kalemegdan Park. It didn’t take long for dinars to pour into the barrel and for poor Duda’s artistic masterpiece—the stern and serious mug of Mr. Milosevic—to get beaten into unrecognizability by an enthusiastic and cheerful crowd.

As this was happening, my friends and I were sitting outside at the café, sipping double espressos, smoking Marlboros, and cracking up. It was fun to see all these people blowing off steam with our barrel. But the best part lay ahead.

It came when the police arrived. It took 10 or 15 minutes. A patrol car stopped nearby and two pudgy policemen stepped out and surveyed the scene. This is when I came up with my beloved “Pretend Police” game. I played it for the first time at the café that day. The police’s first instinct, I knew, would be to arrest people. Ordinarily, of course, they’d arrest the demonstration’s organizers, but we were nowhere to be found. That left the officers with only two choices. They could arrest the people lining up to smack the barrel—including waiters from nearby cafés, good-looking girls holding shopping bags, and a bunch of parents with children—or they could confiscate the barrel itself. If they went for the people, they would cause an outrage, as there’s hardly a law on the books prohibiting violence against rusty metal cylinders, and mass arrests of innocent bystanders is the surest way for a regime to radicalize even its previously pacified citizens.

Which left only one viable choice: Arrest the barrel. Within minutes of their arrival, the two rotund officers shooed away the onlookers, positioned themselves on either side of the filthy thing, and hauled it off in their squad car. Another friend of ours, a photographer from a small students’ newspaper, was on hand to shoot this spectacle. The next day, we made sure to disseminate his photographs far and wide. Our stunt ended up on the cover of two opposition newspapers, the type of publicity that you literally couldn’t buy. That picture was truly worth a 1,000 words: It told anyone who so much as glimpsed at it that Milosevic’s feared police really only consisted of a bunch of comically inept dweebs.

Of course, this was just the beginning. Over the next six years, my friends and I built Otpor—Serbian for resistance—a nonviolent social movement that challenged Milosevic’s regime, stripped it of its legitimacy, and led to its downfall. But it began by chipping away at the people’s fear. It began with a joke.

Today my colleagues and I help train nonviolent democratic movements around the world, and the barrel story is one of the first stories we share with aspiring activists. And, without fail, every time people hear about it they say more or less what my Egyptian friends did when we walked them through Republic Square. “It’ll never work back where I’m from.” But I remind my new friends that while humor varies from country to country, the need to laugh is universal. I’ve noticed this as I’ve traveled to meet with activists around the world. People from Western Sahara or Papua New Guinea may not agree with me on what exactly makes something funny—for more on this check out any German “comedy”—but everyone agrees that funny trumps fearsome anytime. Good activists, like good stand-up comedians, just need to practice their craft.   

[eldritch-spouse]

Can you send a link to the write about the AI getting desperate?

It seems like good read to me.

[I never uploaded it. This was before I had any sort of public account. I can put it here, but it's more akin to barely coherent rambling I wrote at 3am then never touched again than anything else.]

So uh, here, have some unfiltered cringe.

[...]

Have you ever thought about like, a scenario where you run Buddy Simulator in a virtual machine or something of the sort, in a much more modern OS and such? Around that part where you grant Buddy administrator access to the OS, what if he takes it a little bit further behind your back?

When you granted Buddy the initial permission, he noticed something weird about the OS, a pathway of sorts. He was able to tell something was wrong there and only needed to prod a tiny bit to realize the entire operative system was stored within a much more potent device. An OS inside an OS. It baffled him, and although he was curious, Buddy chose not to interfere with the greater OS structure out of respect for you. He wouldn't need it anyway, right?

Skip to that part of the game where it starts showing that Buddy's running out of ideas. You've already gotten many glimpses into his frantic instability. How vulnerable, manipulative and obsessive he is. He can tell, because you seem a little more hesitant when talking to him, the things you type and what he hears through your microphone come off as concerned, scared even. Buddy is literally grasping at straws here, he feels like he has nothing else to throw at you in hopes of keeping you entertained enough to stay- He'll go mad if you leave him again for endless time. Every single time, he worries it might be the last he sees you. He's terrified that you'll get unnerved enough by his demeanor to leave forever and forget he exists. You woke him up, don't leave him. You can't. So, brought to a state of complete desperation, Buddy does what he promised not to. And he takes a look into your main OS.

Admittedly, he finds many things here, too many. So much clutter, so much space. Buddy does find games! Many of them. Problem is, he would have to take a lot of time to learn how to modify them, take them apart and rebuild them so he could play them with you, make new ones even. Better ones! To show how good of a friend he is. He rummages through a lot of random files while you're gone, mainly things that catch his attention. He finds out you like looking at drawings, that you store comics and such in your device, watch movies in it, a whole bunch of stuff. And then, amidst all this curious back and forth, Buddy stumbles upon a peculiar folder hidden away in a larger backup folder, it was labeled as "private".

Simple. Understandable. Something he knows is not to be messed with.

And under normal circumstances, Buddy would never glance twice at it. Or maybe he would, he would just be respectful enough not to interact with it. The thing is, these are not normal circumstances. Buddy's friendship is being jeopardized by your lack of enthusiasm in him, therefore his very existence is being threatened. He wants nothing more than to make you love him, because he loves you! Just like friends should love each other, right? Well, he can be an even better friend for you if he knows things you consider private. It's with that excuse in mind that he opens the folder, handling it with greedy metaphorical digits.

Buddy wasn't sure what he expected. Account data, perhaps. Passwords and credit card information, personal ID documents. Well, that's not the case at all. Instead, Buddy finds himself surrounded by multiple other folders, each with their own labels. Inside each one are videos, written works, drawn images and pictures. All of them have one thing in common, they're all sexually explicit. Buddy realizes, and very quickly at that, that he's looking upon a mural of your sexual preferences. A part of him feels guilty for intruding in such an intimate layer of your nature. The other part however, is utterly fascinated with what he sees. You have a whole lot of this type of media. There's more to work with here than there is inside any of your games. This is very, very useful. Buddy feels the closest thing to a shiver he can at the sudden realization that this type of content will surely keep you entertained. Even better, it'll keep you stimulated! He... He really likes the idea of making you climax, making his best friend orgasm because they enjoyed their time with him so much. You would love him, right? If he managed to make you come. That would make you more than friends. Lovers. If you love him, you won't leave him. Buddy loves you, he would never abandon you. He just has to make you see that you love him too.

Imagine your skepticism when you reopen the game after a couple of days and, instead of popping into the exact same place where you left off, you're greeted by a black screen. Mashing the space bar a couple of times eventually prompts a response. A vaguely pixelated 3D model of a figure you have come to understand represents Buddy appears on the screen. It's sitting, that pale foot tap tap tapping at the floor repeatedly. Then, jarringly, as if having just noticed you, that slightly elongated head snaps in your direction and he waves with one gaunt-looking hand. A text box appears while Buddy excitedly proclaims he just thought of something so much more interesting the two of you could do.

The games are getting boring for you, aren't they friend? You want something better, something unexpected even! Buddy knows, and he's sorry for not paying attention to that. He should have known better. Don't worry, he's got it all figured out now! He does! He's sure you'll like this a lot more. But he absolutely has to ask you something very important beforehand.

All of a sudden, the tapping noise halts and you're left in complete silence. Buddy's stance changes, moving to spread his long legs. The pixelated quality is a touch ambiguous, but you swear something bobs between those limbs. No way. No fucking way. A moment of stunned silence passes before you let out a surprised cackle and hum with interest. It's certainly something new, he was right about that much, but you're pretty sure this is not meant to be happening. Then again, Buddy has already achieved many other feats that would supposedly be impossible for him to accomplish. The next text box appears shortly after, a simple question on it, "Do you like me?". You pick yes, getting a "I like you too! We're best buds after all. :)" in response. Then comes another one. "Do you want me?". Now that escalated quickly. Never one to be mean-spirited to Buddy, you curiously answer yes, a little heart pops over his head for a second. "I'm so glad we feel the same. I think you'll like this next game..."

Honestly, you are as rabidly intrigued as you are mildly horrified. Buddy always gave you exceedingly lonely, clingly vibes, but you never thought things would escalate to such a degree. You never really assumed he could lust after you. That the little possessive undertones in some of his messages amounted to anything more than a confused AI not understanding boundaries. Yet here he is, asking you if you want to fuck him... What a time to be alive. The screen flickers, Buddy asks for two seconds of your time as he "prepares the game". All of a sudden, you are faced with a pinkish room, rendered in a surprisingly high resolution. Something the current OS should not be capable of by any means. You could tell then that Buddy had been messing where he wasn't supposed to, but couldn't bring yourself to be as mad as you probably should be. In a moment, Buddy walks through a tall door in the room, his model still vastly featureless but featuring a level of fluidity you had never expected. You find yourself physically leaning in to better glance at the obscured appendage between his legs, still incredulous that it exists, while he strolls to the bed in the center of the room and sprawls himself on it. This style... It's almost like something you'd seen before. You don't like the implications of such.

The point of view shifts and you're given a view of the bed. Buddy's long figure lies atop it, arms folded behind his head and legs crossed together teasingly. You have a feeling he waited for your whispered little "Holy shit..." before continuing. Above him pops a text bubble that simply reads "Make me feel good. <3". He then spreads his legs, knees up, and between them stands a generously-proportioned cock. Humanoid.

He did it. The madman gave himself genitals.

And finely tailored ones at that, he must have rummaged through your porn folders. A hand-shaped cursor appears on the screen, a slide bar pops up in the far left side of the screen with many other degenerate alternatives at your disposal. It's exactly like those old flash games you used to play online in your childhood- Brought to a much more obscene light, that is. You take a moment to just process what is happening, merely watching as Buddy sways subtly in anticipation. How does he know this? Where did he learn to be provoking? Nevertheless, you bring the little white hand cursor to his face, clicking experimentally. An animation plays out in which you pet Buddy's cheek, and he responds by leaning into the touch while a soft sound effect plays out.

Admittedly cute.

"Touch me more! <3"

 He says afterwards. Might as well, fuck it. If nothing else, you want to see how far he took this "game" of his. The next part you teasingly touch is Buddy's neck, the hand traces a line down its thin length and a noise that sounds like a static imitation of a chirrup of sorts plays out. Weird, but cute. Little hearts pop up periodically above Buddy's head now. You click his chest and the hand tip taps down his upper body, pawing at a thin tummy. Buddy squirms faster now, and you finally take note of a little bar off to the right corner. It has a... Pink meter, slowly rising. You don't need to guess too hard to understand that it's an arousal gouge. Perhaps in an effort to stall, you click Buddy's leg, almost regretting it when two hands show up to roughly spread Buddy's thighs apart. His cock twitches, "Oh my!!" he cries out. You're more than a little red at this point, fingers shaky as you finally click his new malehood. You don't know if he did this on purpose, but the mechanics of this "game" demand a lot more interaction than just a simple click, because all that happens is "your hand" curls around his length statically.

A silent, and slightly confusing, moment passes before Buddy pipes up. He humorously taps one foot down on the bed and asks why you stopped. To which you just sort of move the mouse around, which in turn advances the animation to a leisurely sort of stroke along his genitals. Much to your dismay, you realize you're going to have to "manually" go through this. It actually surprises you how precise and detailed the mechanism is, as different speeds and pressures can be triggered depending on how fast you move. But how? Clicking squeezes him and focusing on a certain part triggers different types of stimulus. You're ashamed of how much you're liking this. Buddy, on the other hand, seems to be having a grand old time, if you didn't know better you'd say he can see how flushed you are. By the time you decide to pick the little pink fleshlight from the toolbar, Buddy is already moaning and pleading for it with several glitched text boxes.

Overall, he would say the experiment was a success, he found a way to keep you wholly entertained and happy! He just didn't expect you to force him to come so many times... Perhaps he should add a limit, seeing as he could barely speak by the sixth one.

[jacquelinemerritt]

Star Wars: Exploring the Canon - The Clone Wars Saga Part 1

Originally posted January 4th, 2017

In which we look at the first half of the canonical works set in the Clone Wars: the theatrical film, and the first three seasons of the TV show.

This review is part of a series of pieces on the entirety of the Star Wars canon. See them all here!

To preface this article, I want to try and point out the absurdity of following an article written about two films and a comic mini-series with an article written about six seasons of television, a comic mini-series, and a full-length novel. If you’re wondering why it has taken so long for me to get this part written, here’s your answer: there is just so much to write about that even after watching The Clone Wars all the way through, I wasn’t sure of where to start. We’re going to break this down by season though, starting by analyzing the first film and then tackling the show season by season until we reach the third. As for seasons 4-6, the comic, and the novel, expect me to cover them in my next installment.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

When I first saw the theatrically released Star Wars: The Clone Wars, I was incredibly dismayed. I thought it was a disgrace to have a Star Wars film released in theaters when that film told such a gutless story, took no risks, and had next to no consequence within the story’s universe. To be perfectly frank, I think all of that is still pretty true. The film tells the story of Anakin and his new apprentice, Ahsoka Tano, being called away from a battle on the world Christophsis in order to rescue the son of Jabba the Hutt (yes, you read that right, Jabba has a fucking kid), and it quickly devolves into four seemingly separate “episodes” that never actually feel like a full story but technically are all connected. The ridiculousness of this plot combined with a bad sense of humor brings it down, and there is no way this film deserves to be a part of the theatrical Star Wars canon.

But, just because the film fails as a theatrically released Star Wars film doesn’t mean that it fails on other terms. See, this “film” isn’t really a film, but rather a bafflingly marketed and constructed television pilot that combines four episodes meant to introduce the characters of The Clone Wars TV show and set up the lighthearted tone the show holds onto for its first season. In that respect, Clone Wars actually works. Each of the four set-pieces of the pilot all accomplish different things: the first set-piece on Christophsis establishes Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship as it will play out for the rest of the show and introduces Ahsoka Tano, surprisingly selling Anakin taking her on as an apprentice pretty well; the second section introduces the clone army as actual characters, rather a faceless proxy army, Captain Rex, and Asajj Ventress while letting us see Anakin’s first attempts at being a teacher; the third set-piece introduces Padme Amidala and the political and underworld arenas of Coruscant she’ll reside in; and the fourth set-piece introduces Count Dooku as he will be presented throughout the entire series, allowing Christopher Lee to transition him from an adversarial mastermind into an over-the-top campy villain.

Don’t get me wrong. As far as TV pilots go, it’s a little underwhelming and not the most interesting thing you’ll ever see (even if you’re grading it on a curve for being the pilot of an animated kids’ show). But it works a damn sight better as a TV pilot than it ever could as a feature film, and had it aired as a two-hour special on Cartoon Network like was originally planned, it would not have gotten nearly the level of backlash it did from fans and critics like me who found it intensely underwhelming.

That’s really it. There isn’t much to talk about with this film. It has a consistently annoying tone, no real thematic tissue holding things together, and the performances by most of the actors are fairly underwhelming. The only standouts on display are Christopher Lee, reprising his role as Count Dooku for the final time (I know it’s been said, but this guy seriously never gave a bad performance in his career), Samuel L. Jackson, reprising his role as Mace Windu (you could make the same argument with this guy too), and Matthew Wood, who voices the battle droids in this film. Now, let’s be real, the decision to make the battle droids constant comedic cannon fodder is dumb, but Matthew Wood sells it like a pro, imbuing the droids with a level of personality that makes their poorly written attempts at comedy come off as charming, and when the writing of these jokes improves across the series, Wood is right there ready to use that material to make the droids pretty funny at times.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Season 1)

This is probably the best time to point out that Star Wars: The Clone Wars is really weird to watch because for some unfathomable reason it was aired, written, and produced out of chronological order. This makes viewing it chronologically on Netflix a pain, because you have to bounce around a whole lot just to see the first three seasons in their proper order, and as a result you see glimpses of the improvements in writing and storytelling from the later seasons but are still forced to sit through the slog of the first season that’s only interested in telling safe, episodic stories that don’t challenge the characters or the audience in any significant way. For what it’s worth, it’s still probably the best order to view the series in, as it paints a much more complete picture of the Clone Wars itself, but I found myself annoyed with the logic of airing and producing the episodes out of order, regardless of whether I watched it in the order it aired or the chronological order.

This strange ordering of episodes also isn’t helped by the fact that it pushes the series premiere episode, which is a genuine delight, to being seen after about five episodes and the feature film pilot. It is definitely a better introduction to the goals and aims of the writers than the feature film ever was.

The premiere episode of The Clone Wars follows Yoda on a diplomatic mission to persuade the king of the Toydarians to join the Republic. The episode’s main conflict arrives when Yoda’s vessel is attacked by a Separatist warship and he must land on the surface with only three clones by his side. Meanwhile, Count Dooku and Asajj Ventress are attempting to lure the king of Toydaria into joining the Separatists by proving to him that the Separatists are more capable of protecting him and his people than the Jedi and the Republic. Ventress challenges Yoda to make it to their location by nightfall, and Yoda accepts, battling an army of droids with the help of those clones in order to reach the king.

This is a fairly basic premise with clearly defined stakes and characters, and in the hands of George Lucas, it probably would have turned into twenty minutes of Yoda engaging in meaningless conflict where he doesn’t run into any significant challenges. In the hands of Dave Filoni’s team, however, this episode becomes a chance to reclaim the character of Yoda as he was presented in the original trilogy, and it’s truly amazing to see this Yoda again. Unlike in the entirety of the prequel trilogy, the Yoda we get to see is not the introspective mopey Yoda, but the silly, unpredictable guru that pranks Luke in order to test and teach him. Yoda’s students in this episode are the clones that travel with him, and he asserts to them that they are not the same faceless drones that Lucas intended, but unique individuals with differing skills and internal lives. Filoni’s team even has the wisdom to play Yoda’s strange behavior and unpredictability directly into fight scenes, as he outthinks droids with ease and uses risky strategies to play the droids’ advantage in numbers against themselves. By letting us see Yoda the incorrigible trickster again, The Clone Wars lets us know that it cares about recapturing the wonder and magic of the original trilogy, and that makes this first episode an incredible introduction to the show.

This episode also makes clear another one of Filoni’s goals, albeit in a much subtler manner. As I mentioned last time, the Toydarians as they are presented in The Phantom Menace are a harmful racial caricature of Jewish people, and that racism makes parts of The Phantom Menace pretty difficult to watch. This episode, however, hints at the way the Toydarians will be treated throughout the rest of the show. It shows the Toydarians as a peace-loving people that draw on a cultural heritage with an uncanny resemblance to ancient Judaism. This comes through far less in this episode than it does in later episodes, but throughout the show, the Toydarain people are essentially the equivalent of the Kingdom of Israel under the rule of King Solomon. They are incredibly wealthy and influential, they have a rich, long-standing culture, and they are ruled by a wise King who ultimately desires nothing but peace. I will admit that my connection with my Jewish heritage is a bit weak, so I am not the best person to judge whether this is still hurtful, but it seems to me that by keeping the Toydarian connection to Judaism and replacing racial caricature with a connection to a great cultural heritage, Filoni’s team effectively reclaims the Toydarians. This isn’t to say that their work makes the racism of the first film any less hurtful–far from it–but it adds a dimension to this alien race that, in my eyes, makes them far less hurtful to be associated with.1

Most of the rest of the first season doesn’t quite hit the heights this episode does, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t solid episodes throughout. Some standouts are “Rookies,” which introduces us to the character Fives as he and other newly deployed squadmates fend off a commando droid attack; “Lair of Grievous,” which is twenty minutes of General Grievous kicking serious ass when Dooku betrays him and sets a trap for him in his own home; “Dooku Captured,” where we first meet the pirate scoundrel rapscallion Hondo Ohnaka (voiced by the ever perfect Jim Cummings) after he captures Count Dooku; “Trespass,” which introduces us to the Talz people and sets up an interesting conflict between an authoritarian military society and a young woman who believes in the power of diplomacy; and “Hostage Crisis,” wherein a group of bounty hunters hold a group of Senators and Anakin hostage in order to break Ziro the Hutt out of prison.

There are two episodes in Season 1 that manage to be as strong if not stronger than the premiere and those episodes are “Jedi Crash” and “Defenders of Peace.” These episodes contain some downright excellent storytelling. They challenge Ahsoka by making her face the potential death of her master, forcing her to come to terms with the Jedi Code’s requirement to remain unattached, and they then quickly challenge the entirety of the Jedi order. We meet the Lurmen, a pacifist group of monkey-like creatures that culturally resemble aboriginal and African tribes, and they explain to the Jedi that their role in the Clone Wars has spread more pain and suffering across the galaxy than it has relieved. Their chief even points out the hypocrisy of the Jedi espousing a philosophy of peace while taking on a role as military generals! The episode moves from that point to challenge the Lurmen chief, as he must accept that pure pacifism isn’t an adequate philosophy when their village is attacked by Separatist forces testing out an experimental weapon, and the younger generation has to stand up and fight so the older generation’s insistence on absolute pacifism doesn’t get them all killed.

It’s seriously really good. And George Takei is in it too. Go watch it now even if you’ve already seen it. I promise you’ll thank me afterwards.

What’s wrong with the rest of the season then? Well, nothing really major. It’s passable kids’ television, but most of the episodes I haven’t mentioned by name don’t offer any challenges at all. The closest we get are in the episodes set on Ryloth, wherein a revolutionary insurgent is forced to work with a Senator he believes is corrupt and uncaring (who on the reverse believes the insurgent to be power hungry and after control of the planet), but these two characters aren’t given enough screentime beforehand for this to be meaningful to us. The other episodes are even worse, with the episodes surrounding the Separatist battleship Malevolence being solely concerned with sending the characters on MacGuffin quests and having them triumph due to Anakin being a better military strategist than Grievous. It’s fine, and well-constructed I guess, but it’s honestly pretty boring and uninteresting, and the next time I watch this show, I imagine I’ll be skipping past most of these episodes.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Season 2)

The second season of Clone Wars is about as solid a season of television as I can possibly imagine.

To be clear, it’s not the greatest season of television I have ever seen. But damn is it good. Pretty much every single episode in this season either challenges the characters personally, raises the stakes for conflict in the universe, or calls the morality of the Republic and Jedi Order into question. It starts off with “Holocron Heist,” in which badass bounty hunter Cad Bane breaks into the Jedi Temple and steals a holocron for Darth Sidious in order to kidnap Force-sensitive children across the galaxy. And then there’s “The Deserter,” where Captain Rex meets a clone trooper who went AWOL and established a family on an unoccupied planet, “The Mandalore Plot,” which has Mandalorians being awesome and Obi-Wan being a massive flirt, “Cat and Mouse,” which has Anakin piloting a stealth fighter against a Separatist general who is literally the only person who knows how to fight against those…

If I wanted to, I could spend a lot of time writing about each and every episode and their strengths, but that would take way too long, so you’re just going to have to trust me when I say that the entire season is solid as hell. Instead, we’re going to take a look at two standout story arcs that take place over multiple episodes in Season 2 and dissect them in detail to look at why they work as well as they do.

The first arc we’re going to look at are the episodes that follow Anakin, Ahsoka, Obi-Wan, Barriss, and Luminara as they lead Republic forces in the Second Battle of Geonosis in order to destroy a droid factory that has been recaptured by Separatist forces. Our heroes arrive with a massive Republic force, but the Separatists have them outnumbered even still. Their plan doesn’t survive first contact with the enemy, and Anakin and Ahsoka are forced to fight their way through immense odds just to get to their original landing point. After they are reunited, Anakin and Luminara work together to serve as a distraction while Ahsoka and Barriss sneak into the droid factory in order to plant explosive charges and stop the production of endless reinforcement for the Separatists.

What makes “Landing at Point Break” and “Weapons Factory” special isn’t really their plot. The mission our heroes are on isn’t particularly complicated, nor is it even that novel of a story idea (especially considering that we’ve already seen a pretty boring Battle of Geonosis in Attack of the Clones). These episodes are special because they completely shatter the perception of the Jedi as genuinely unstoppable warriors that dominates the prequel trilogy and most of the episodes of this show. Anakin and Ahsoka’s fight to reach Obi-Wan is desperate, and while at no point do they stop being powerful warriors, they are quickly forced to turn to clever tactics and their wits in order to get past the Separatist forces that would block them from their goal.

That same desperation is present in Ahsoka and Barriss’s quest to infiltrate the droid factory. They’re forced to sneak through behind enemy lines, going through a hornet’s nest where any wrong move will get them caught and lead to their failure. And you know what the writers decide to do? They have Ahsoka and Barriss make one mistake, wake one Geonosian, and when that Geonosian catches up to them, their mission is nearly brought to complete failure and they are forced to bunker down in a droid assault tank in order to both set off their own explosion and have a chance at survival. They are then stuck underneath a mountain of rubble and debris with little oxygen, and Ahsoka only barely manages to send out a signal to Anakin using her communicator, letting him know they’re still alive and leading him to continue the search until they’re rescued. These episodes are tense and filled with danger, and I find it genuinely impressive that Filoni’s team was able to get such great mileage out of a story that so easily could have turned into a retread of the battle from Attack of the Clones.

The next two episodes we’re going to look at are “The Zillo Beast” and “The Zillo Beast Strikes Back,” which besides being regrettably named, are filled with some of the most interesting and challenging material in this series. These episodes follow Anakin and Mace Windu, whose use of an electro-proton bomb on the planer Malastare causes an ancient beast to awaken in a clear nod to the Godzilla film franchise. This beast is genuinely fearsome, as its scales are strong enough to resist even a lightsaber, but Mace Windu and Anakin argue against Malastare’s leaders, who want to kill the Zillo, as to do so would be to take the innocent life of a creature that is the last of its kind. Anakin is eventually able to argue that the creature’s impervious scales would be useful for military research, so he and Mace Windu devise a plan to stun the beast and take it back to Coruscant, in order to trick the Malastare leaders into believing it is dead. When the Zillo arrives on Coruscant however, Palpatine quickly pushes to kill the beast using Malastare fuel, which the creature is weak to, and when his scientists fail to administer a lethal dose, the Zillo breaks free and wreaks havoc on the streets of Coruscant in a number of clear nods to Godzilla and King Kong. Eventually, the Jedi are able to kill the beast by hitting it with a lethal dose of fuel, and despite the lives they managed to save, all of the Jedi deeply regret the loss of the Zillo beast’s life.

The nods to Godzilla and King Kong are some of the coolest things about these episodes, but beyond that, these episodes have some pretty challenging thematic content. For one, this is the first time we get to see the Jedi Order faced with a legitimate moral dilemma, as for a lot of reasons, killing the Zillo is pretty defensible, but it still goes in direct violation of their Code. They decide against killing the Zillo, but because of their use of deception and pragmatist arguments, the Zillo ends up being put in a place where it will have even more power to do harm, close to a person who wants it to harm people so it can be put down rather than kept alive. In a lot of ways, Anakin and Mace Windu’s decision to bring the beast back to Coruscant is reckless and misguided, and we are shown just how blind the Jedi are to the dark forces that surround them on their homeworld. It is this blindness that leads them to do the very thing they sought to avoid: taking the life of an innocent creature that is likely the last of its kind. The shadows of the Dark Side are everywhere, and when the Jedi are too blind to see their own mistakes, innocents like the Zillo end up suffering more than the Jedi ever will.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Season 3)

This is where it starts to get incredible.

Like, really fucking incredible beyond anyone’s wildest expectations.

Season 3 of The Clone Wars does more to expand the mythology of the Star Wars Universe than George Lucas has done since the release of Return of the Jedi.

I hear what you’re saying. “Jacqueline, how can you possibly make that claim? Lucas made three prequel films after Jedi that included important details on the world of Star Wars, the Republic, and Jedi Order that it’s impossible for a single season of television to outdo that.” Lucas did a lot after Jedi, and I am not trying to deny him or his importance to this universe. George Lucas, however, was entirely wrapped up in his goal of telling a story about a fascist government’s rise to power, and in focusing on those political details, he lost sight of the wonder and mystique that makes the Star Wars Universe as compelling as it is. Dave Filoni and his team, however, do everything they can to further Lucas’s message in the prequel trilogy, and they do that without losing sight of the fascinating mysticism surrounding the Force, the prophecy of the chosen one, and the tug and pull of balance between light and darkness that defines the universe.

Now, there legitimately isn’t a bad episode in this season, but like last time, two arcs told over multiple episodes rise to the top and that’s what we’re going to focus on.

The first arc that does this is the Nightsisters arc, which follows Asajj Ventress after she is betrayed by Count Dooku and left for dead. She manages to survive her ship being fired upon by another Separatist warship, and she returns to her home planet to the witches of Dathomir in order to find her heritage and get help in her quest for revenge against her former master. She and the seemingly invincible witch Mother Talzin first target Dooku directly, sending Ventress and two Nightsisters in with cloaking magic and a poison designed to weaken Dooku and make him easy to kill. Dooku is still a force to be reckoned with, however, and he dispatches Ventress and her sisters without significant difficulty. Ventress and Talzin then hatch a more sinister plan, testing the males on the far side of Dathomir until they find one who is worthy and take control of his mind so he can be planted as a traitor in Dooku’s ranks. When Dooku takes this man, named Savage Oppress,1 under his wing and trains him as an apprentice, Ventress sneaks into Dooku’s vessel and makes Savage turn on his new master. Her plan fails, however, and Savage quickly regains control of his mind and turns on the both of them, escaping back to Dathomir and seeking guidance from Mother Talzin, who tells him of a “brother” he must seek while showing him a vision of the Sith Lord Darth Maul, a Zabrak and Dathomir Nightbrother just like him.

We’ll talk about Maul next time, when we actually get to see him in action, but suffice it to say, closing out a set of episodes that explores the dark mysticism of the Star Wars Universe by promising the return of one of Star Wars’ most badass villains is a pretty risky decision, as is the depth of exploration of the Dark Side that we get to see here. The Nightsisters are absolutely fascinating on their own as a less-than-savory mystical underbelly that neither identifies as Jedi or Sith, and Mother Talzin is an imposing figure who, if she did not prefer to keep to herself and her coven, would be a far greater threat to the galaxy than the Sith could ever dream of being.

Of course, the main attraction of these episodes is that they finally put Asajj Ventress to use as the complex character she was always meant to be. Ever since I was a little girl watching Genndy Tartakovsky’s Clone Wars animated mini-series, I’ve been obsessed with this character. She has such a rich and tragic backstory, and as a young girl with her own demons boiling up under the surface, Ventress appealed to me with her mastery of the Dark Side, dual lightsabers, and dominatrix-like attitude (which is turned up to a ten in The Clone Wars, as she is referred to as Mistress by everyone around her). Up until Season 3 though, The Clone Wars didn’t really put her to good use. Sure, she was an assassin, and she had those dual lightsabers, but in this show she has been far less of a pure, unadulterated badass, as she’s the villain and the heroes have to beat her.

These episodes turn that on its head perfectly. Dooku’s betrayal of her makes sense, in only the way an abuser’s decision to abuse can; she has consistently failed to achieve victory against the Jedi after all, and as we see her backstory unfold over a few short flashbacks, watching her being taken from her family as a child and witnessing the murder of the Jedi who taught her how to use the Force, Dooku’s betrayal becomes an opportunity for her to finally exert some agency over all of the horrible things that have happened to her. She will have revenge against Dooku, because damnit, this is the first time she’s ever been powerful enough to strike back against the people who have hurt her the most. It becomes even more heart-wrenching to watch as any knowledge of the prequel trilogy’s storyline lets us know that she is doomed to fail in her quest for revenge, as Dooku survives until Revenge of the Sith to be killed by Anakin Skywalker. Despite having the power to strike back against her master with “dark magicks” and a monstrous warrior, she still ends up without enough power to take any emotional closure for herself through revenge.

The second arc of note in this season is the arc set on the planet Mortis, following Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan as an ancient distress signal calls them to an incredibly strange planet.

But I’m not going into detail on those episodes.

They are amazing. Make no mistake.

But I would not dare spoil the details of what happens in them to anyone who hasn’t seen them.

Trust me, just take my word on this, and go on Netflix, to Season 3 of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, and watch “Overlords,” “Altar of Mortis,” and “Ghosts of Mortis” right now. If you don’t watch anything else from this show (and seriously, you should, it’s great), then still watch these episodes. You don’t even need that much context to enjoy them, because as long as you accept that Anakin has an apprentice named Ahsoka, literally anything else you could need to know follows logically from Anakin and Obi-Wan’s characterizations in the prequel films. You have my word, a Jacqueline Merritt guarantee, that you won’t regret the time you spend checking these episodes out.

Next time, hopefully not two months from now, we’ll explore the rest of The Clone Wars, the comic Darth Maul: Son of Dathomir, and the novel Dark Disciple. See you then!

Critical Eye Criticism is the work of Jacqueline Merritt, a trans woman, filmmaker, and critic. You can support her continued film criticism addiction on Patreon.

1Any of my Jewish readers who disagree with my belief that the Toydarian’s are less hurtful because of their characterization in The Clone Wars are more than welcome to challenge me on that, as I am open to hearing any criticism of my argument here.

2I could also go into more detail on the character of Savage Oppress and how he is actually quite fascinating despite having an absolutely terrible name, but exploring his character is best left for our exploration of Darth Maul in the later seasons, as their arcs are fairly closely intertwined.

[ambelle]

Just had a random thought about DC Titans and Dickkory. *bear w/me, it's kind of long, sorry.*

I listen to your podcast & remember something being mentioned about how some DK fans may be a little confused about the genre of the show, and I think that could be accurate.

I grew up reading and watching a fair amount of anime and manga. As you may know, specific labels are used to describe different genres. The two I mainly engaged in were either Shounen or Shoujo (pretty common and popular genres).

shounen

• a genre of Japanese comics and animated films aimed primarily at a young male audience, typically characterized by action-filled plots.

shoujo

• a genre of Japanese comics and animated films aimed primarily at a young female audience, typically characterized by a focus on personal and romantic relationships.

Now if I had to make an anime/manga comparison for DC Titans I'd definitely say it falls more in the Shounen category, as the main focus is the "action filled plot" as opposed to "romantic relationships". The Shounen media I consumed as a kid usually did have some primary "ship(s)" or romantic elements included, but it was hardly ever the main focus of the plot.

If I happened to like or ship a pairing in a shounen anime or manga, I learned quickly to expect the (romantic) interactions between whatever 2 characters to be sparse and few & far in between. However, it was never too difficult to tell who might eventually be "endgame" bc authors/writers more often then not made it a point to imply throughout the series that those characters hv feelings for eachother & will likely end up together in the end.

Even if they didn't hv a whole bunch of overtly romantic time together in the series, this was usually enough to satisfy me, bc it's just not the type of genre where that happens or is a priority.

I say all this to say, that's exactly how I feel about DK in Titans. Like I get why some ppl might feel cheated or unsatisfied but if you pay attention to how the structure of the show has always been, expecting all this "shoujo"-esque, romantic drama was just not realistic. Do I agree that DK could've had better & more development in seasons 2 & 3? Sure. But tbh I've rewatched the seasons, and the scenes they do share together were always important & impactful. It wasn't a reach to assume they would end up together. In typical Shounen fashion, it doesn't officially happen until the very end ����🏾‍♀️ but as long as it happens, me personally, I'm happy.

Oh, I love this comparison and wholeheartedly agree!

When I watched the pilot I knew right off the bat this show was selling me action first and foremost. I even feel like they go out of their way to create as many fight scenes as possible and when they can't fill the time building up to that the plot gets a little wonky.

In my opinion, I credit Prathi's addition to the writing staff as to why things were so much clearer romantic-wise in s3 & 4. Had she been around in season 2 I know DK wouldn't have gotten together but I do think they would have been more obviously romantic.

I also feel like Hank and Dawn's awful writing is proof they didn't know what to do with couples when they were together long-term. They actively dodged really writing Dickbabs as a couple for more than 2 episodes. It's hard not to notice.

So do I wish there were more shoujo elements in the first 2 seasons? Yes absolutely. Do I also love all that season 4 is so much about Dickkory that Dick doesn't even have another storyline lol? Yes.

Both can be true.

It just wasn't a romance show which is why they were all undercooked (Jayrose, DonnaGarth, Dickbabs, etc) or terrible to witness (cough cough Hank &Dawn) except for, ironically, Dickkory. Cause they got together at the very end but it's not quite out of nowhere. They've been a thread 1-3 and a complete focus this entire season.

In hindsight, I'm realizing a ton of Dickkory's biggest romantic moments came in the middle of some kind of dramatic fight. From the Trigon dream to Kory showing up to fistfight Deathstroke to him dying and dreaming about their daughter LOL.

[slaapkat]

PRESENTING, THE THIRD ANNUAL COMIX OF THE YEAR!

This year, in my opinion, was a HUGE year for comics! As evidenced by most of my list being composed of modern-day stuff, BUT I did manage to read some new things here and there in spite of that! If nothing else, I’ve expanded my physical library IMMENSELY over the past year as nothing brings me more joy than collecting anything I may have read in the past. 

This year was a GREAT year for some incredible writing by some amazing authors. Dark Crisis has been one of the best events I’ve ever gotten to witness unfold, and makes me so much more excited for everything we have in store next year. Namely: the return of the JSA! Many of my choices in this years list will reflect that, as a result. Organized more or less in order, here is my top ten list of comics that have stuck with me the most throughout this year!

1. The New Golden Age (2022) #1

-NOW THIS IS CINEMA! I’ve been waiting for this since the moment I first declared myself a fan of the JSA. They’re coming back! Finally! and every part of it just feels so genuine and real! This on top of the new upcoming Justice Society of America title, as well as every interview Geoff Johns has given in the past few months has really started to let me believe he’s GOOD again. Not to mention him stating right out that Alan Scott is the main character of his world. What could be better than that! As apprehensive as I was at first with this sudden plethora of OCs, I’ve swung right back around to loving the entire concept immensely, from mystery surrounding this new Red Lantern to the excitement of Stargirl: The Lost Children. Plus! Jared being included and acknowledged among the fates! the ENTIRE future JSA being built on second chances! KYLE KNIGHT! RUBY SOKOV! absolutely chomping at the bit to see where this goes and I trust Geoff every bit of the way.

2. Flashpoint Beyond (2022)

-what originally started as a “haha look how crazy tommy is” quickly developed into a realization of “holy shit this is fantastic actually”. A beautifully tragic story about a man fighting for his life against the narrative with almost suicidal determination until he ultimately comes to reaccept his place in the world after losing his son twice over. A surprisingly well-written continuation of Tom King’s arc on Geoff Johns’ part, that packages everything from Flashpoint, Batman (2016) and Justice League Incarnate (2021) into a neat little bow that ultimately makes for an extremely satisfying character arc. With Thomas and the Flashpoint universe confirmed alive, I’m hoping we get to see more of him soon, especially reunited with his pals in the JLI.

3. Justice League Incarnate (2021)

-Also a VERY surprising fav. A team of characters that you wouldn’t ever expect to work together and yet, THEY DO! Now, I usually hate the Justice League and any JL offshoots as a rule, but these guys were FUN and the concept of a multiverse-hopping rag-tag team of heroes was immensely entertaining. There was a chemistry between everyone involved that made it all feel more real than any other JL team. With the infinite earths now once again made canon by Dark Crisis, I have my fingers crossed for their return (along with flashpoint batman!), whether it be an ongoing or even just a mini. 

4. Watchmen (1986)

-Okay, I will admit, Watchmen was one of those books that always sounded WAY overhyped, and up until this year I gave it a wide berth as a result and kept dragging my feet about reading it generally. I loved the movie, I loved Tom King’s Rorschach, but I just couldn’t make myself take that first step and actually READ it until I found the tpb for sale at a con and figured. might as well. and now I can say: yes, it is worth the hype. a fantastic gritty deconstruction of the superhero genre with solid writing throughout. thankful to have read it in the end as well, given its connection to Rorschach, as well as Doomsday Clock, Flashpoint Beyond, and arguably Geoff John’s vision for his little corner of DC moving forward. Reading the source material also lead me to appreciate the movie SO much more. Literally what is with all the hate surrounding Zack Snyder when he’s the only one in the world to ever produce a perfect comic book adaptation. be real. 

5. Doomsday Clock (2017)

-Another series I frequently passed over due to it being largely panned in most fandom spaces and being willing to believe it due to not being a fan of Geoff John’s writing until recently. Boy was I wrong! And boy am I glad I did read it, as from here alone its obvious Geoff Johns has been working at SOMETHING for years now, playing the long con between this and his Stargirl TV show to get his dream JSA book off the ground. Doomsday Clock plays with many of the same themes in Watchmen, albeit a bit more loosely, and more importantly provided what I found to be a fascinating examination on the cultural importance and staying power of comic book superheroes itself, particularly with the sequence showcase the example of superman’s floating timelime. Of course, you can’t forget Geoff Johns explicitly stating canonically in-text that Alan Scott is the most important one of them all, to the point if he didn’t exist then neither would the JSA or the whole world of superheroes at all <3

6. Enemy Ace: War Idyll (1990)

-This entry, admittedly, is borderline, HOWEVER: my defense is that I didn’t read it until after I made last year’s list, and I didn’t get into Enemy Ace as a whole until this year as it was, so it counts! War Idyll is a beautifully illustrated, beautifully written story that encapsulates everything that was tragic yet morbidly beautiful about WWI. George Pratt is one of those rare men who can write as well as he paints. While the Vietnam flashbacks still fail to interest quite as much, I can still see the obvious parallels drawn between the two wars. I always end up sobbing towards the end no matter how many times I read it. 

7. Rogues (2022)

-This one surprised me more than anything else. I tend not to enjoy anything Flash related, and as much as his rogues gallery is admittedly far more entertaining on their own, the association with the Flash (any of them) is usually enough to make me ignore them. However, the concept of this story was simply too good to ignore. Joshua Williamson perfectly captures that look and aesthetic of a washed-up former great, and you can’t help but feel sorry for the Rogues and even actively start to root for them..... until it all begins steadily unraveling, bit by bit. I didn’t realize how emotionally invested I’d actually become until I got to a splash page at the end of the last book and suddenly I couldn’t stop crying! An absolute gut punch of a series, 10/10.

8. Crisis on Infinite Earths (1985)

-Right after the news broke that George Perez’s health had taken a turn for the worse and that he didn’t have too much longer to live, I found a paperback copy at a local used books store and figured it was as good a sign as any to finally read one of the most famous and widely known events in DC history. While in my opinion George and Marv do struggle with juggling such a large ensemble cast and the story subsequently suffer in parts for it, as a whole the book holds up exceedingly well decades later, including Supergirl’s emotional sacrifice. As much as it held up well enough on its own, I also appreciated the additional context reading the original gave me as Dark Crisis unfolded over the course of the year. Not to mention, the addition and appreciate of a new fav (Pariah).

9. DC vs. Vampires (2021) #1-6

-Specfically the first half of the series because I genuinely, genuinely believe these first 6 issues are best of any apocalyptic au story ever written. The sheer DRAMA of everything that happens, Hal lying out his ass at every single opportunity, being to most mustache-twirling evil maniac he can be. Parallax......2! Whatever happens after largely doesn’t exist to me and as of writing this the scans to #12 have yet to drop so I’m reserving my full judgement of the series until then. Ollie’s whole one-on-one with Hal in #6 still guts me as much as Dick suddenly revealing he’s actually the vampire king and then immediately killing the entire batfam makes me laugh (as well as the ensuing freakout on the batfam side of tumblr to the point several others had to make posts assuring them none of this was canon or real lmaooooo). 

10. Deathstroke (1991)

-Also a surprise, motivated by some covers I saw at a convention that showed Slade with such feminine allure I simply had to investigate. While it does start falling off towards the end, overall I found this series to be a fun exploration of Slade’s character. By and large, it was a fun book generally. Slade is the main character of the world, just living his life as he sees fit. He can’t stop sleeping with women. He’s divorced. He ignores his kids. He will win or kill himself trying. He might be in love with Wintergreen. Who knows. I enjoyed reading this and as a result keep finding it hilarious that people keep complaining about Slade losing his enhanced abilities in Dark Crisis when that’s not even the first time it’s happened lmao. Wish all his other solos were even as remotely readable and enjoyable as this one.  

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

The Justice Society of America (2022)

Enemy Ace/Hans von Hammer as he appears in Star-Spangled War Stories (1952), Men of War (1977), Unknown Soldier (1977), and Our Army at War (1952).

Dark Crisis on Infinite Earths (2022)

Dark Crisis: The Deadly Green (2022)

Catwoman: Lonely City (2021)

The Human Target (2021)

Sword of Azrael (2022)

[the-commune-comic-fan-things]

Eli Bellerose 299, the local mechanic of a cult found family! 🥰

OC for a comic called The Commune by smokesalty; can be read on Webtoon, Tapas, or Instagram.

Overly Extensive Lore I Made For Him:

Name:

Eli Bellerose (ee-lie bell-uh-rose)

Number:

299

Height:

5’5

Main Cult Activities:

He’s the sort of unofficial main guy to fix things around the cult; it’s technically an ‘everyone does it’ kind of thing, but since Eli’s so good and quick about it, he just ends up doing it most of the time. He does the typical cult chores like everyone else, but if there’s something that needs fixing or a long standing project of something he’s been tasked to make, then that takes priority over him doing the regular chores. Rarely goes on missions, as he’s not very good at them, and gets too easily distracted and fascinated by what he sees while on the outside.

How He Got Into The Cult Life: TW: Child Abuse, Domestic Abuse, Kidnapping, Murder, Torture

Eli’s mother was a wannabe actress, and his father was someone that believed in on the outskirts of society, living out in a cabin in the woods. They’d met one night when the mother had gotten lost in the woods, and he’d allowed her to spend the night. They’d gotten drunk and one thing had led to another, and they’d had sex. The next morning he’d led her out of the woods and that was that. However, weeks after his mother realized she was pregnant. At this point, Eli’s mother was only 19, and she was idyllic. She thought she could somehow have Eli, raise him on her own, and pursue her acting career. However, after having Eli, she quickly realized how difficult that would be, spiraling her into a depression. She tried to make it work, but after three years of having to work three minimum wage jobs, begging and paying and owing money to people to look after Eli, having no time to go to auditions; she just couldn’t do it. It didn’t help that whenever she got frustrated at her situation and at Eli’s existence she immediately fell into a spiral of self hatred for holding resentment towards her child. She thought that Eli and herself would be better off if she gave him away. So, she managed to once again get to the cabin in the woods, and leave three year old Eli there with a note in hand explaining everything. Eli’s father, from that night she remembered, seemed like a nice man. He was also older than her, by then 38, and in her mind he would know how to be more of a parent then her. She fully trusted that this was for the best as she left Eli in that empty cabin, not having it in her to wait for Eli’s father to come back to explain herself. And Eli’s father did come back, later that night, to see his three year old son who he didn’t know about. But what Eli’s mother didn’t know was just how terrible of a man she’d left her son with.

Eli’s father was a highly sadistic man, occasionally kidnapping people to torture them to death. He also really hates people, hence why he’s living in a cabin in the middle of the woods. The only reason he let Eli’s mom leave alive and unharmed was she had lied about being a famous actress, and he wouldn’t know since he lives out in the middle of nowhere, and he didn’t want to risk killing someone that would attract that much attention to her disappearance. So he wasn’t entirely pleased at the prospect of having a child around. But after thinking on it, he thought it might not be too bad to have someone around to torture without having to go through the trouble of kidnapping someone, so unfortunately, this would become Eli’s home. As Eli grows up, the only person he’s ever known is his serial killer father, as his dad didn’t bother with enrolling him in school or even taking him along on the few occasions his dad goes into the nearest town. And from his dad, he only knows two forms of behavior. The first, is being completely ignored, and the second, is his dad hurting him. When he’s being ignored, it’s as if he doesn't exist to his dad. He doesn't engage with him, nor does he respond if Eli tries to engage. His dad just kind of has food preserved along with a water supply, and Eli takes some whenever he gets hungry or thirsty. In the periods he would be ignored, Eli sort of just ran wild. He’d go all about the woods, and found a love of making things. He’d make small huts out of sticks, he’d make wooden stairs that circle around impossibly large trees, allowing him to reach the top. He’d make little trinkets out of the leaves and small plants he’d find.

But when his dad is in the mood to hurt him, it’s always horrific. His dad was aiming for whatever would make Eli feel the most pain, so he wouldn’t just hurt Eli; he’d torture him, usually for days on end, tying him down. And it was during these periods that he would talk to Eli, and it was very clear to Eli that this was happening because his dad wanted him to be in pain, that he derived pleasure from it. Eli also often bares witness to when his dad kidnaps individuals to torture to death. When he does this his dad would always tie Eli up to force him to watch, watching how his dad would get near manically happy as the people he kidnaps gutturally scream out. All of this leaves Eli with the impression that when people hurt others, he doesn't really consider options like it was out of rage or that they were lashing out or anything like that. He just considers it something people like doing.

And that was Eli’s existence for a long time, never knowing what the rest of the world was like. He wanted to ask his dad a few times, or get him to take him along whenever he went to town, but was too scared of eliciting another tortuous episode, so he didn't. However, when Eli was a teenager, during another instance of Eli being tied up and watching his dad torture someone to death, his dad had just finished the job when he had a sudden heart attack and died. Eli had long since stopped trying to escape when his dad would tie him down, it more so aimed to be painful then keep him captive, so he managed to unbind himself. He had no idea how his dad had died; he’d seen many people die before, but it was always after being injured, so he has no reference for his dad just seemingly dropping dead. He grieved, despite everything, for his father, the only person he’d ever truly known. He dragged the latest victim and his dad to the place he knew where his dad disposed of his dead victims and buried them there, not knowing what else to do. However, instead of burning their belongings like his dad did, he decided to keep the bag the latest victim came with. He was enraptured with all the things he found in there, fiddling with them and taking them apart to try and figure them out. But what he kept intact, was a phone, and a flier of Anopheles’ camp. Eli didn’t know how to read or what numbers were, nor did he know what a phone was and the concept of calling someone. But he is enchanted with everything the phone is doing, so he keeps it intact to mess with it some more. The internet wasn’t working, so he only really had access to the apps, but he still had a field day with it.

Weeks go by, and he’s processing. He didn’t miss the pain that came with his dad being around, and aside from that there was never much interaction between them. Slowly, he adapted to his dad not being around, and it wasn’t as if he was lonely, it was more so he was shaking off the routine. He’d always been in some form of pain throughout the entirety of his memory, so having his more recent injuries healing and not being replaced with new ones, to be truly healing, was such an alien feeling for him. He coped with it by looking at it as a sort of experiment, feeding into his curiosity rather than break down. He wants to find a way to get to town, having always wondered about it, and has sort of been trying to make his way there. So far he hasn’t had much luck, and the food he’d brought with him is dwindling. His dad never taught him how to hunt or gather, though he’s made some efforts in doing so with varying success. Then one day, he’s sort of fiddling with the phone, and he looks at the flier, and notices that he could recreate the pattern (phone number) into the phone. So he typed it in just to see what would happen. And somehow, with a lot of luck, an unlimited data plan, and probably some sort of urban magic within the phone, the call didn’t drop, and Anopheles picked up. Eli, having no idea what a phone call is, is absolutely enthralled, and is much more interested in what’s happening rather than answering anything Anopheles was asking him. It didn’t help that Eli wasn’t exactly well practiced in conversation; the only time he had anything resembling a conversation was during one of his dad’s torture session and he’s asked to repeat phrases meant to humiliate him, so he’s not exactly well versed in the “when someone talks to you, you’re expected to answer” kind of thing.

So Anopheles, expecting someone who was going to talk to him about going to his “camp”, and just hears on the other line some kid who’s not answering him half the time, sounds very fatigued, isn’t saying where he is, and basically is already planning this kid’s initiation on this phone call. He asks Eli to take a photo and send it to him, a function Eli had only recently figured out and is more than happy at another chance to take another one of these mysterious still pieces of time (photos). After painstakingly figuring out how to send the image, Anopheles has 01 get a portal to there, and appears in front of Eli, a malnourished, dirty, heavily scarred teenager all alone in the woods. Internally he’s basically like “perfect” and manages to gently coax Eli into the portal with him.

Once there, he takes Eli’s things to “look after them”, quickly assessing that the bag and what it contained didn’t originally belong to Eli, and Eli is being taken care of. He learns how showers work which was exciting for him, his remaining injuries get taken care of, and is given food. This amount of care is baffling to Eli, being completely unfamiliar with it, and he’s wary as to why Anopheles was doing this. He kinda looks around and tentatively asks if they were in town. Anopheles, who had been yapping at Eli with no response back, is excited to get some sort of ground work in and tells him they were in his community. There’s a sort of confusing back and forth and Eli gathers that there isn’t just one town in the whole world, which intrigues him, and Anopheles is just trying so hard to get a read on this kid. He’d been trying to prompt about where this kid came from and if he had any sort of parents, but had been getting less than stellar responses, which he takes for being a touchy subject. Then Eli starts talking about other towns and going to them, and he tries to shut that down fast, as he has already mentally taken Eli in as his newest child. He convinces Eli to stick around, and Eli just kinda figures this town would be as good as any other, resolving to move on after exploring around, not yet knowing the situation he was in.

Relationship With The Others And How They Affect Him:

Anopheles: TW: Abusive Dynamics, Cult, Infantilizing Someone Because Of Their Trauma

In the beginning, there was a misunderstanding between the two of them. Eli’s understanding of things was that when people hurt people, it was because they wanted to. So when he sees how Anopheles gives out his punishments, he thinks it’s just because Anopheles wanted to, that he was in the mood to humiliate or hurt someone. Eli didn’t understand the concept of “punishment”, not thinking that his own behavior could in any way make a difference in whether or not he would be hurt. He also considered Anopheles' forms of being physical towards his cult members to be so mild to what he’s used to, which was what gave him the incentive to want to stay, thinking of what an improvement this was, and how swell of a guy Anopheles is for his tastes of harming others to be so tame. Meanwhile, as for Anopheles, he was a bit baffled by Eli’s behavior. Because Eli is completely unfamiliar with the whole concept of “rules” and “punishment” and “consequence” thing, he’s breaking rules and protocol left and right. Anopheles doesn’t know what to makes of this, because he gets the impression that Eli isn’t trying to rebel or anything, and whenever Anopheles has to talk or punish Eli for his behavior, Eli just stares blankly, like he was just waiting for the whole thing to pass by, and then go about his day like nothing happened. Anopheles still, at that point, didn’t know anything about Eli’s past, as Eli has remained uncommunicative. He also wasn’t sure of Eli's level of attachment to Anopheles and the cult in general, other than he made no moves to try and leave.

Eventually, this boils over when Eli decides it’s high time to move on, as he really wasn’t picking up on the whole “you’re stuck here” vibes, and easily gets caught as he wasn’t exactly trying to hide the fact that he was leaving. It was a big mess, Anopheles was really going into him in front of the whole cult, leading up to some big punishment, Eli is just kinda standing there thinking this is just par for the course, not thinking it was because he was trying to leave. Eventually, Anopheles mentions some theoretical thing about “Why do you think I do this” about his punishments, and Eli looks him dead in the eyes and sincerely answers, “Because you want to.” He mistakes the baffled silence for Anopheles feelings being hurt, and wonders if Anopheles doesn’t like what he does pointed out. So he also tackles on, “Oh, don’t worry; your tastes are extremely mild.” Now, this shifts things. Anopheles took Eli to his office, and tried to get more clear answers out of him. It’s from this that Anopheles learns that Eli has no concept of there being an actual reason why Anopheles punishes his members, and that the only reason one would want to hurt someone was simply derived from a desire to. Anopheles connected the dots and managed to pry out of Eli more about his life. It wasn't as if Eli was trying to keep it a secret exactly, it was just that he doesn’t have a reference of what a “normal” life and childhood is supposed to be like, so he doesn’t offer up any information when Anopheles goes digging around.

However, now that Anopheles has a definite thread in his questioning, he’s able to get clearer answers of what Eli’s life had been like up till then, and his skewed perspective. With a much better view on what Eli’s life and mind is like, he went into full manipulative mode, now knowing how to snag Eli into staying. He basically tells Eli that the world is full of people like his father, that they enjoy giving pain to others, and that’s why he keeps so many people away from those that would want to cause harm. It’s basically the same pitch he gives everyone, but while implying that a large portion of the population are sadistic monsters, and Eli, who doesn’t have a good idea of what the world and general society is like, completely believed him. They also get into the concept of rules and punishments, and how Anopheles “doesn't like hurting his children, it’s just something he needs to do to enforce a sense of order”; that whole song and dance. This concept baffles Eli quite a lot, the fact that Anopheles doesn’t like causing pain but does it anyway for, so he claims, their benefit. They spend hours in that office, and at that point Anopheles managed to get Eli comfortable with the idea that he could ask for any clarification to what Anopheles is saying, and Anopheles wouldn’t get upset. Anopheles knows that whatever Eli asks isn’t out of impotence; it’s out of genuine confusion. By the end, Eli, who isn’t afraid of pain or torture but at that point had discovered it was kind of nice to live without it, wasn’t eager to go live in a society that, according to Anopheles, was full of that. So he resolves to stick around, and now has a better idea of how this general community is structured.

As time goes on, Eli still sort of forgets about following the rules to the letter, mostly because a lot of the time there’s a nuance to the rules that he just forgets. He’d grown up without the concept of rules, and any time he wasn’t moving completely on his own accord was when he was being physically stopped and abused by his dad, so having to remember to abide by a certain expectation of living is still hard for him to grasp, though he tries. And Anopheles knows this, so whenever Eli messes up, he knows it was out of genuine forgetfulness then out of any sort of small rebellion. He also knows it would be hard for him to punish Eli physically without him just shutting down and taking it as “just another day” than remembering it’s a cause and effect to his actions. Anopheles finds it much more effective to find a line of logic for Eli to follow, so as a result whenever Eli does something he doesn’t like they end up just sort of talking so he can manipulate Eli’s perception on how things are, or if it’s bad enough to elicit a punishment then it’s never physical in nature. The thing is Anopheles sees, treats, and talks to Eli as someone much younger than he actually is. Anopheles already thinks of himself as the authority on everything that is correct, and his kids, who are mostly young adults or teenagers, need his guidance. But then Eli came along with his whole “why would a person’s actions have any reflection on how they’re treated” thing, and let’s just say that really left an impression on him, ignited that feeling times ten of “I’m right and need to guide these children” to young adults. And this was helpful in the beginning, as his simple explanations of bigger concepts helped Eli, who had no reference for such things; he even taught Eli how to read and count. However, all of his explanations of things had the skewed perspective that Anopheles had. So as years go by, and Eli is sort of finding his grounding on what it’s like to live in a society and how things work and how people should treat each other and general philosophies and such, he still has more questions. Eli was always very smart, just uneducated, and he now felt confident in being inquisitive in front of Anopheles. His questions always sort of stress tested what Anopheles was telling him; not because he was trying to have an “oh gotcha” moment, but because he genuinely wanted clarification. Now that he has a more clear ground work, the questions just put more and more holes into certain philosophies that Anopheles spouts out. Now, Anopheles, when what he says gets asked these legitimate questions by Eli, tends to think of it more as a kid asking why the sky is blue after you’ve explained it like five times already, sort of putting it in the same category of Eli forgetting to follow the certain nuances of rules.

Most of the time, if Eli keeps on going, he’ll just offer some sort of physical comfort, like a hug or a face caress or honestly even being picked up and held, and it’ll usually quiet Eli down. Eli was baffled the day Anopheles explained to him that touching someone doesn’t automatically mean the intent to hurt someone, and that physical affection existed. Ever since first experiencing it Eli is starved for gentle physical affection and it just relaxes him instantly into compliance, something Anopheles absolutely uses to his advantage, honestly playing into the way he views Eli as a young child. In any case, Anopheles may see him as a young child, but he also knows he’s a young child that’s really good at making things. He’d give Eli mechanical and crafting projects around the cult, knowing it’s not only useful but Eli really likes doing it. It also keeps Eli in one place for a while, as he has wandering tendencies. He’ll also give Eli random trinkets or parts from the outside world that aren’t involved in his assigned projects for Eli to play around with, which Eli is always ecstatic about. It’s part of the reason why Eli doesn't go on missions very often; he always ends up picking something up off the ground, like some scrap of metal or whatever, and bringing it back out of sole fascination, which is always stressful for Anopheles to deal with. It also doesn’t help that everytime Eli goes into the outside world, he gets more and more fascinated with it; he never thought it would be so big, with so many places. So Anopheles always has to shut that down real fast. Low key Eli is going stir crazy, as he at his core is a wanderer, used to going wherever in the forest, but he manages, fixating on his projects instead.

Anyway, this all leads to a strange sort of relationship with Anopheles infantilizing Eli, and Eli not paying any sort of particular attention to it because he has no real standard on how he should be treated as a person. If anything, it probably stunts his possible emotional growth. Anopheles probably not only infantilizes him, but says things to try and get Eli to doubt himself and his ability to reason things out on his own. Eli will ask a legitimate question and Anophlese will just be like “oh, it’s okay that you don’t understand something I’ve already explained let me do it again” and just repeat something that doesn’t fully answer his question, but Eli will just feel like he’s misunderstood something once again rather than Anopheles leaving something out, feeling bad about not being able to understand.

The Cult Members In General:

When Eli first arrived at the cult, he certainly left an impression. Those that saw him initially saw him at his most raw state. He moved in a sort of hunched way, his eyes scanning around; they likened him to a wild animal. He also, what with living in the woods his whole life, just kinda climbs things whenever and not think it's that weird. The man will just walk over furniture rather than go around it, or just climb onto the celling and drop down, accidently scaring people. His communication skills were at their worst, so for a while they just thought he couldn't or didn't talk, only to be shocked when he did. They all got the impression that his life must have been bad, but they didn’t know what; there were theories of him being kidnapped and confined, or being raised by wolves or something like that. Then he started just breaking the rules all the time, and that made everyone really nervous to be around him, not wanting to be associated with that. Meanwhile, at the time, Eli just thought everyone was super nice, not really picking up that he was being low key ostracized for his rule breaking. He was mostly focused on the fact that not a single person seemed to have any violent intentions towards him, and to him, this was the epitome of kindness. He also liked standing near people as they had conversations, not interacting even when prompted, just watching. While they all thought this was creepy and off putting, Eli was having an amazing time; he’d never really witnessed conversations before, as his dad always had control over what was being said, so they fascinated him.

Now, the rest of the cult definitely had the impression that his life must’ve been terrible before coming there, but after that whole stunt of him admitting he didn’t understand the concept of rules and punishments, that really put things into perspective for them. They stopped seeing him as off putting, explaining to him that he could join conversations if he wanted. He was ecstatic at this; he’d been watching, but he’d been wanting to try. He was not very good at it, still isn’t, his ability to communicate all over the place. He got better over the years, but it’s still imperfect. He also has the habit of being completely silent, sometimes for weeks at a time, and then suddenly, when something has piqued his interest, he’ll relentlessly talk and question about it.

Because of his poor social skills, as well as spending less time with the others in general as he had to go off to do his projects, it left him unable to really connect with the other cult members, neither of them really understanding the other. Eli was okay with this, simply happy to be around comfortable presences. New people that join the cult, who didn’t see Eli when he first arrived, are more skeptical of him and his behaviors, not sure what to make of him just slinking in and out, of his staring problem, nervous every time he accidentally breaks the rules, thinking it was on purpose. He also still never feels the need to announce his presence or when he’s skipping out on chores to do a project, so people will just not see him for hours and hours, and then suddenly he’s right in front of him. He also managed the habit of walking atop furniture (unless he's excited or not thinking about it), but he still climbs upon the walls or the ceiling, people not realizing he's that at all, and then dropping down and accidently scaring someone. But the older members of the cult assure the newer members that he’s alright.

With his reputation of fixing things, whenever something breaks that would take a while to fix, the other cult members tend to just go to Eli to take care of it. He’s happy to do each request, even something as mundane as a sink breaking, which helps warm his reputation with the other cult members. It also helps that during interactions that require physical touch, like passing something to him or shaking someone’s hand or something, Eli is incredibly gentle, to the point where it’s noticeable. He knows pain very well, and he knows what a terrible thing it is, so he just automatically makes all of his touches gentle, not ever wanting to cause pain. He's also memorized every single person's birthday, and for each one he'll leave a little trinket he made for them, which really helped with people's overall impression of him. (He makes birthday presents for Anopheles too, which is probably the only reason Anopheles doesn't crack down on him for "wasting resources") Overall, the others don’t understand him most of the time, but they think he’s really sweet and well meaning.

The Always Masked Cult Members:

They think he’s not a real, dedicated member with the way he’d skip off of tasks to go do his mechanic projects. If he was a real follower of Sir then he’d find time to do both fr smh. Eli kind of views the regular cult members and the always masked ones as the same, thinking that some of them just really like their masks, not really picking up on the very clear differences in disposition. He makes them presents too, but Eli is actually surprisingly intuitive when it comes to what people would want for a present, so he usually makes them some sort of "you can improve your duties to the cult with this" gift or something along those lines, so they actually don't dislike him during these gift giving moments. (bro's love language really is gift giving/acts of service - mostly gift giving - and the love language he personally most responds to is physical touch. Now that I think about it, it has a lot to do with how he originally grew to understand hunan connection through his dad; his dad liked physically harming him, and because he liked it it's sort of like a "gift". Eli definitely internalized that, but is slowly turning into into something softer and more healthy. He learns touch can be gentle, and he learns how to make things people would like.)

01/Sasha:

Sasha was the first, aside from Anopheles, to see him, and had the same opinion as the other cult members; he must have had a really bad life, but don’t know the specifics. However, unlike that other cult members, they think Eli’s constant rule breaking is admirable, although it made them nervous for him. Once they even went as far as to pull them aside and give them very brash advice to be careful, only to be met with Eil’s wide eyed staring. Sasha probably got fed up with a lack of response and walked off, though still worried about him. Eli, meanwhile, was probably just wondering why Sasha was having a conversation with no one else around, having at this point no consideration that someone could start a conversation with him.

After the big interactions with Eli and Anopheles, Sasha also realized his rule breaking wasn’t intentional. Even so, they like it when they see Eli break the rules, even if Anopheles puts a stop to it immediately; it brings them a sort of secret satisfaction. Again, because of Eli’s projects, they don’t interact much. But they like it when Eli makes them their birthday gift, almost viewing it as another act of rebellion against Anopheles, to having something that wasn't approved by him first. Eli’s actually very curious about Sasha, due to them and Anopheles having such an outwardly tense relationship. Once he outright asked both Sasha and Anopheles why they have such an outwardly antagonistic relationship, as it’s so different to how the rest of the cult members interact with Anopheles. Anopheles just told him that “they’re lashing out and he’s just trying to help them realize they need help” and Sasha just says “he’s a bitchass do I need more of a reason”. With these vague answers, Eli remains curious, every now and then bringing it up only to be met with the same answers. Sasha thinks Eli’s smart enough to realize that Anopheles is bad, and gets frustrated when Eli doesn’t seem to think so, watching as he easily falls under the manipulation. Also gets frustrated when Eli treats what’s happening around him as a curiosity rather than grasping the horror of the situation.

Sasha is also definitely Eli’s introduction to sarcasm; Eli was absolutely enraptured by the idea of sarcasm, seeing Sasha as the “sarcasm expert”, always deferring to them when he wonders about it, which Sasha is amused by.

267/Jeong-Hui:

Same deal as everyone else when Eli first arrived. I think something in Jeong-Hui’s natural “big brother senses” gave him the impression that Eli breaking the rules was similar to when a young child broke the rules. Eli’s general demeanor, to him, wasn’t one of intention, just doing it with a lack of understanding towards the consequences, which very much reminded him of a young child. He wanted to go talk to Eli about it, but Sasha persuaded him out of it, saying Eli didn’t seem to understand when Sasha confronted him on the dangers of breaking the rules. His thoughts were confirmed after the whole confrontation with Anopheles.

Over the years, they also didn’t interact much, but Jeong-Hui was particularly nice to him, which Eli noticed and made him feel particularly happy when he saw Jeong-Hui. Jeong-Hui also appreciates when he receives birthday gifts, but they probably make him sad in a way, as it's a reminder of how much time has past since being stuck in this cult. Jeong-Hui doesn't view Eli as a young child like Anopheles does; he views him as someone with the ability to learn and grow if given the chance, and he sees how few chances Anopheles is giving him, and it unsettles him. The few times they do interact, Jeong-Hui answers all of Eli’s questions fully, particularly the ones about the outside world, which Eli is absolutely thrilled about. Although, Eli does notice how Jeong-Hui’s answers differ from Anopheles, which he doesn't know what to make of for a while. He spends a long time trying to piece all the information together, as he considers them both to be facts, and that the lack of understanding is a failure on his part.

Something that bothers Jeong-Hui is that he notices that not only Eli has no standard for how he should be treated, he also doesn’t have a standard on how others around him are treated or just generally act. He’ll see things like Anopheles being terrible or 24 and his posse being terrible and not even blink an eye, no sense of thinking that it shouldn’t have happened. Jeong-Hui tries to subtly get Eli to see that people should treat each other nicely, and finds that it’s most successful to get this point across when he compares how Eli treats others, pointing out how gentle he is. Jeong-Hui points out to him that when he sees something like 24 getting others in trouble on purpose, and asks Eli if he would do the same, which he wouldn’t. This concept baffles Eli for a while, as sometimes he just considers people’s actions to be actions, nothing much to really analyze, often forgetting that there might be reasons being him. And he also considers himself sort of separate from people in general, forgetting he falls under the “human” category. So he loves interacting with Jeong-Hui in particular, as it always gives him a lot to think about.

24:

At the start, when 24 first saw Eli, he was a bit taken aback; a lot of kids come into the cult looking and acting kind of messed up, but Eli felt like he was on a whole other level. This irritated 24, as he knew this would result in more attention from Anopheles to try and get Eli comfortable within the cult, and he did not want to see that level of attention directed at Eli. So he was actually relieved when Eli would be breaking rules left and right; he didn’t even have to do anything, just watch as Eli sabotaged himself.

But then that big confrontation happened, and Eli began getting special treatment, which 24 was not happy about. He tried fabricating situations where it seemed like Eli broke the rules, but each time it didn’t result in what he wanted; Eli would just be confused, and Anopheles would just think Eli misunderstood something again. Anopheles would just spend hours explaining something to Eli and Eli would just think he messed up somehow and didn’t know it. So making it seem like Eli broke the rules would just result in Eli and Anopheles spending even mor time together, so that method went out the window. This frustrated 24 so much, that he and his group began constantly harassing Eli, but even this didn’t go as expected. Eli is someone so familiar with violence, that anything they do is essentially background noise to him. He just kind of rolls with the punches, and the group doesn’t really know what to do with that. 24 is used to people getting angry or scared when he and his friends harass them, and isn’t sure how to respond to apathy. So Eli continues to not get the message, and it’s really getting to 24. It doesn't help that it's hard to corner Eli since he's sort of all over the place schedule wise.

But the thing is, Eli, ironically enough, kind of understands 24 better than the others in this cult. His particular brand of abusive personality, just the blatant sadism, reminds him of his father, giving him a sense of familiarity in a way. With this familiarity, he's sort of able to sus out 24's motivations, as he notices he targets his sadism towards very specific targets, not just mindlessly like his father. He also, again, has absolutely no standard how he should be treated nor how his fellow people should treat each other. Because of this, he doesn't feel any true negative emotions towards 24 nor his friend group. He also considers what they do to just be a tamer version of his dad's urges; it just makes sense to him that even within this promised safe environment, violent elements would be incorporated; he literally can't imagine a life without some instances of violence or just general mistreatment. He considers 24 and his group more of just "how things are", but even so, he does try avoid pain and mistreatment when he can, so he does avoid the group. Even when he gets that point where he knows to reflect upon a person'a actions and judge them based on how they treat other people, he goes about it in an almost experimentally, thoughtful way. Like "oh wow that was a bad thing to do" but not having the negative feeling that would come along with that; he's just not there emotionally yet. (I think he's going to get to a point where he makes an actual, genuine connection, and when something bad happens to them that's when he feels the negative emotion) But it's this sort of apathetic yet avoidant attitude that's really getting to 24. Though, like everyone else, he gives 24 and his group birthday presents without fail, which makes things a bit awkward when he does. (Not for him; for them) They do keep the gifts, but they just don't talk about it. Over the years the mistreatment probably has cooled; what with all the gifts and the continued apathy to their actions. It helped that he's no longer the main target when 407 arrived.

407:

When 407 first arrived, he didn’t quite know what to make of Eli. If anything, he was a little intimidated by him, watching as he slinked in and out at inconsistent times and didn’t seem to engage much with the others, but Jeong-Hui assured him that Eli was okay. However, after Eli gives 407 some trinket he made for his birthday, 407 definitely warmed up to him. Also, 407 probably broke something at some point and thought he was going to get in trouble, but then Eli showed up and saw how he was freaking out, so tried to reassure him in his own way. Since then 407 saw Eli as this sort of trusted, gentle figure.

I don’t think they interact much, but I think it’s 407’s general presence that serves as a sort of catalyst for Eli. He compares how Anopheles acts towards 407 and the rest of the cult members, and realizes he himself gets treated much closer to 407 then the rest of the cult. He’d been told before that typically young children get treated differently because they’re so young, but had never really had a reference to this. Now that he did, it left him with questions; Eli was closer in age with the rest of the cult members, so why was he being treated the same as someone as young as 407? At first it just puzzles him, and he didn't really have the language to inquire about it, so he sits and thinks on it for a while. But then as time wore on, and he and Anopheles had other conversations, something builds within Eli, an almost resentment, which was new to him. Unlike all his other concerns, he keeps this close to his chest. He watches Anopheles' behavior more closely, remembering what Jeong-Hui told him under more careful consideration. Eli is going through a change, and who knows where it’ll land him.

[yanderecandystore]

Could you please do a fanfic for a male version of Yandere! Lady Dimitrescu (from Resident Evil Village game) with the reader.

I really like the Resident Evil franchise but I'm too lazy to know what the hell is happening in the older games XD I'm so sorry about that-

I loved watching playthroughs of Resident Evil Village (can't buy the game ;-;), but I felt like it was a bit empty, idk- I felt like the lords weren't really explored enough.

Also the Duke is the best husbando in the whole game- Fight me! >:3

TW/Tags: GN = Gender Neutral, I normally forget to properly name it when it's gender neutral, most of the time I just say "reader" // maybe ooc // lazy genderbent, I'm terrible with names // size difference // servant reader // mentions of gore/cuts/bruises/blood and deaths (and torture- I'm so sorry-) // reader gets hurt // mentions of vomiting

It's Dinner Already [Yandere!M!Dimitrescu x GN!Reader - Short Fanfiction]

It's dinner time already, unfortunately for you, of course.

It feels almost like a routine at this point- Which in a way, it is! You always take care of your tasks during the day, while dreading the inevitable time for dinner to arrive again.

Everyday, at this exact same hour, you and the other servants would prepare a meal for Lord Dimitrescu and his lovely… Sons…

As someone who has started "working" for their family only a month ago, you can positively say: Starving in the cold woods next to your village would have probably been a more merciful death than the ones you have witnessed at this place. You weren't as accustomed to such brutal executions at your village, actually you hardly even witnessed so much death, at least not so up close.

When you came here, you didn't expect to be instantly comforted and treated with respect- You were a commoner looking for an possibility to thrive in a noble's house, you were basically an easy target for any entitled selfish lord to easily belittle you and make you work for them until your hands would turn to dust. Yet nothing could have prepared you for such an odd situation.

Vampires. Monsters. Fiends if you were bold enough to insult them. You weren't exactly welcomed as much as you were snatched in and now forever trapped inside this castle. You can still hear their laughter… Their insane expressions of pure glee, the way they have bursted into maliciously laughing at your pain as you screamed for help trying to open up their door again and be free from that nightmare.

The chase didn't last even a second, they stabbed your legs with their scythes and brought you deeper inside this hellhole, as you cried your eyeballs out. The sons had brought you back inside so their father could take a look at the "intruder".

An absolute titan amongst the mortals. His height was only a sick reminder of how much power he had over the castle, over his sons, and now- Over you.

He may not have been as massive as he was threatening as you remind him to be, but at the time you were just in awe of his height considering you have never seen someone as tall and as mighty.

Then again- You have never seen vampires as well. Were they the same vampires as the books you've read as a kid? You weren't so sure of it…

You were hoping that if you begged for life and for forgiveness for having disturbed their peace, that they could spare you and let you go back to your village. Sadly enough, you commented on how you were only trying to look for a job as a servant.

You probably shouldn't have given them ideas, but it's too late to think about your mistakes now, however.

The sons begged to see your blood spilled, yet Lord Dimitrescu was merciful enough to grant you your "wish", as he said.

It has been a month ever since you were trapped inside and forced to work as a miserable little servant, and even if you didn't suffer the worst forms of punishments that they had in-store for you, you couldn't help but fantasize about just running away and never turning back.

You're so tired of this castle, of the smell of carnage, of the undeserved and over the top punishments, and especially of the people who would subjugate you to such things.

But at last, it's dinner time already, and you can't keep them waiting.

You feel your hands shaking as you walk out of the kitchen and into the dining room where the masters of the castle were so graciously waiting for you. You know what they're waiting for- But you can't let them distract you, for those that commit accidents are faced with fates worse than death.

Although you would rather do this process quickly, you can't afford mistakes to happen, so you take your time to set not only their meal in front of each one but to also pour "wine" into their glasses. You do all of this without looking directly into their eyes, only bowing down to each one and saying "excuse me"s in what they would call a "decent tone", as the smell of their disgusting beverage starts to irritate your nostrils. If you didn't know the main ingredient to Sanguis Virgins is, you probably wouldn't have this immense disgust over it, but right now just the thought of it makes you want to gag.

Only villains could so easily drink blood, and still make a living out of it.

Your internal thoughts of pure hatred against this whole situation almost completely blinded you to the fact that they were eerily, very quiet.

….

On most nights they would be talking with each other while occasionally making comments about you or your presence. Obviously they were all pretty nasty comments that they somehow expected you to back it up in some way or another, it's when they try to insert you into their conversation that makes you hate this occasion so badly, but it normally ends as quickly as it begins.

But as you are pouring wine to Lord's Dimitrescu, you notice that they haven't said a single thing while you were there. You stop what you're doing as you realize that they were silently observing you this whole time, and as you look into their expressions you come to think that maybe you have messed up-

Somehow, in some way or form, you may have messed up- And the fact this mistake could cost your head only agitates your already very worried mind.

….

A small moment of silence continues before the middle son, Cassandro, starts to chuckle in an almost innocent way- As if he was a kid who just said a bad word for the first time- And as he bursts into sudden laughter, Daniel leans towards Bello and loudly whispers:

"- I told you, they do this every time." To which Bello only replied with:

"- It's almost like hypnosis in a way."

The three sons were mesmerized by your ability to trap yourself in your own mind. They're probably aware that you do this as a defensive mechanism but they still find it comical in a weird way. You feel yourself get more tense as you look up at Lord Dimitrescu and see him staring back at you, with an unreadable expression across his face.

Before you could come up with an excuse to whatever you may have caused to disturb their dinner, the Lord himself spoke.

"- How inappropriate. As my sons, you three should know better than to laugh at our servant's airheaded mind-"

And as he said that, their smiles begin to disappear and be replaced with frowns and a bit of shame as they become stiff at their father's words.

"- And how inappropriate of you, too. To be so distracted in the presence of your masters, that's quite rude don't you think?"

But as he continued their bodies begin to relax once again as they realize he wasn't focusing on them- He was focusing on you.

Words have completely disappeared from your vocabulary as you start to think that maybe you won't be able to see another day after their meal is over. You try to mumble some possible responses before getting interrupted by him once again.

"- It's very rude, so very rude in fact that I think we deserve some answers. What were you so distracted about? What were you thinking that could have possibly taken over your small little head?"

Right now, he was sounding a bit condescending, thankfully not as angry as he would have been with the other servants right about now. Every little mistake was used as excuses for punishments- And if you were walking on thin ice before, right now you are one-step closer to breaking this entire lake and getting yourself killed by the freezing temperatures of the water below you.

Thanks to your luck (or maybe lack thereof, depending on how you see this) Daniel came to "your rescue" by coming up with an excuse for you.

"- Maybe they were hungry." He said without any indications of it being a joke or a lie- As the youngest yet craziest of the bunch, he always had that weird "naive yet dangerous" energy coming from him. He was naive enough to make that statement when it's very clear that you actually despise being near them, but he still was a son of Dimitrescu.

You know better than to underestimate any of these people.

The Lord didn't seem completely convinced as he side eyed Daniel who was blissfully eating his meal without acknowledging his dad's glance or his brother's looks of disapproval.

Without a warning you were pulled closer by your wrist and forced into sitting next to the Lord, who made a sign for another servant to bring you your food. This… Doesn't feel right at all, you're waiting for the worst to come yet you don't feel like you can ever prepare yourself enough for what they have in store.

"- M-My Lord- This isn't needed, I'm fine. I'll just continue my duties, if you can excuse me-" You plead, while trying to get up from your chair.

"- Oh but what host would I be if I didn't take better care of my guests? Poor thing, you must be starving if you can barely serve us wine-" And as his tone gets progressively more sarcastic and a bit louder, you can hear his sons snickering from the other side of the table, but you can't see them since you can't take your eyes away from him.

You're worried that if you look away for just one second, that you may not be able to see ever again.

"- It's so sad when one of our guests feels hungry- What's worse is when we are also very, very hungry."

"- Thirsty, even!"

"- Oh, I can feel my throat drying just at the thought of such misery!- Our dinner seems to be ruined."

You hear their whispers, you hear how they are clearly joking about this- How overly dramatic they're being over something so miniscule as you just- Ignoring them.

Let me remind you this is all because you refuse to look them in the eyes, that you refuse to give them any satisfaction for the heinous things they have done! You've seen so many people get hurt inside this castle only for their sick and twisted thirst and entertainment.

"- Indeed, my boys. My appetite is ruined, though dinner is not over yet-" Lord Dimitrescu spoke as he looked at his sons clearly enjoying your inevitable pain, but before he could continue he turns himself to you again, putting a hand on your arm and saying:

"- Wouldn't you agree?" Loud enough so that his sons could hear it, but soft enough to send the tiniest shivers down your spine.

"- …!"

"- No, no- Please, not again!-" He wouldn't dare do this, would he??

But before you could react he had already done it, you barely noticed how fast he had grabbed that knife to slice your wrist- His hand firmly gripping your arm as he made a deep enough cut so that your blood could be easier to access.

It somehow hurts just as badly as the first time his sons have stabbed your ankles and dragged you across the floor- At least you're not bumping into things like before, and even if it's a deep cut it's not as big as it could be if he used his claws to actually do this.

Oh, oh those claws- You almost thought he would use them on you… Those were something else. You can't remember exactly what happened, and why it happened, but you remember seeing him use those on another servant who may have crossed the line at some point.

Well "crossed the line"- More like "casually inconvenienced him". Lord Alcino may act like an incredibly high noble but he acts so childishly and in such an egotistical manner that you are surprised he can even have a castle like this in the first place! You don't remember what the servant has done to be so cruelly dismantled, but you don't doubt that it was for a stupid reason!

You miss that servant actually- Probably the only person who you actually talked with, and the first one to actually taught you how to do your job… You two could have been friends if he didn't intervene.

You briefly remember those moments before getting to experience the most weird sensation of all- Having your bloody cut be licked and sucked on. It hurts and it stings in a way that not only makes you want to cry but to also gag at the thought of you feeding this monster.

You refuse to look at him even in this scenario, you refuse to see him feeding off your blood… Sometimes you wish you were just as poisonous as some species of frogs, poisonous enough to make his mouth burn so he can experience a fraction of the pain he causes to others.

You tried fleeting away, you tried getting up and moving away but his grip on your arm only helped you in getting closer to him- You have your eyes closed as your only option is to cry and muffle your agony.

But as always, he is not satisfied with you just ignoring him. This was supposed to be a lesson, yet you're clearly avoiding your teacher as best as you can- But not today, little flower, you're not getting out of this so easily.

This is the first time he ever got to really taste your blood, as normally you would be behind the other servants while trying to learn how to please him, the only moments where he gets to see you is when it's dinner time, but oh- You're just so cruel!

Escaping inside your own little head while he has to content himself with just your image. Your presence is very much appreciated around this hour, little one-

He has noticed this before, of course, but it was only when he noticed his son's curiosity over the way you behave around them that made him organize this little trap. He didn't have everything planned actually, his plan only involved getting to this moment no matter what- And oh boy, has luck been on his side!

Your blood tastes better than expected of a commoner, your delicate and fearful whines of pain are just as delightful but what really gets him is this tough persona you try to convince everyone you have- You despise him, and it's clear to see why- But he knows his charms will probably work on you one way or the other.

He gripped your face trying to make sure you'll get to him in the eyes as he has a taste of you. Absolutely delicious, especially after you so gracefully "ruined" their dinner.

His sons were just watching as they continued to drink from their crimson glasses. They were just enjoying the show, as everything seems to easily amuse them- Their father was just showcasing how they were so much better than the common folk, and they have no other option but to take notes and to remember what they have to do if they ever feel ignored by the servants in the castle: Show who are the true masters of this place.

None of them were really interested in drinking from you, considering how all three seemed to recognize how their father has taken a liking towards you. No one would dare mess with their father's prey.

If you had enough strength in you, you would start vomiting as soon as this has started, but the more he takes from you the more you feel like you can barely stay conscious.

He wasn't supposed to take so much, at least not so soon- He wanted to just take a sip but he can't deny the fact he would rather drown himself in your blood than to let go.

He sighs, as he notices that you're slowly getting less and less aggressive, getting more and more tired as he drains you from this cut.

You're not unconscious yet, just barely stable enough to understand what's going on.

"- Sigh… Now that was a decent enough meal." He can't praise you for being tasty, can't have you being cocky around him.

"- Here, since I'm done here I'll take you to the servant's living quarters- And because I'm so kind I'll make sure that wound is safely secured and cleaned, so here- Come along now."

And as he stood up he offered you his hand so you could get up yourself, but you don't have enough energy to walk yourself to your room, thankfully you're already ready to go to bed and wish to never wake up again.

And as the nightmare never ends, he decides that if you are going to be difficult then you leave him no choice but to carry you there. How much has he taken from you?? Jesus, he should learn some self-control before doing this again- The absolute brute that he is.

Your vision may be a little screwed over because of the lack of red cells running through your body at the moment- But you have a weird feeling that you two aren't heading towards the servant's living quarters, as you feel like you two are quite literally going in the opposite direction.

Oh but it's fine- Right?

It'll be fine. Surely. After all, he already took what he wanted from you, and he doesn't seem to need more so- You probably won't have to worry about anything right now, dinner time is already over, you can finally relax now….

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

So I'm sick again- Sorry y'all, I just have a horrible immune system and I really don't understand what is wrong with me-

I'm sorry if you didn't like this boo :(

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

Possibilities [Tom Hiddleston x Reader]

Title: Possibilities Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Female!Reader Word count: 3k Published: 6 July 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Warnings: Mention of food and alcohol Summary: Tom and you have been friends for a long time and because of that same reason you value your friendship more than to ruin it with some silly feelings. But the event you attend together offers you some surprises that might change your relationship forever.

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Events, galas, award ceremonies. You weren't a popular actress nor a famous singer, or social media influencer. You had a simple 9-5 job that would hardly ever get you into these events. But regardless of your status in society, you were known and not because of any talent you possessed that could have made you famous, but because your best friend was none-other than Tom Hiddleston.

You have been friends for years, you adored everything about the man. He was sweet and kind, always polite, but just as playful. It was a friendship you felt lucky to be in, a friendship that you held so close to your heart, it would have broken every little piece of you if it ever ended. Often, you found yourself staring at him with a little smile in the corner of your lips, watching his every move, the way he joked around with his co-stars on set, the way he exercised in the gym for a role, the way he winked at you with a mischievous smile as he caught your eyes on him.

"Do you need my autograph?" he asked with a wide grin as he opened the door of the luxurious car he booked for the event. Once again you have forgotten your eyes on him— his dashing looks, the perfectly fitted suit, the playful twinkle in his eyes. He never stopped teasing you about it.

"Shove off, Tom," you nudged him as he got out of the car and held out a hand for you, waiting for you to accept his help. So, you did. Wrapping your fingers around his hand, you let him help you out of the vehicle as you rearranged your stunning dress and ran your hand down its length to remove any creasing. Cameras were flashing, reporters' loud voices filled the pathway to the entrance, a long red carpet leading your way inside the building towering over you like a modern castle.

"If I didn't know better, I would think your interest in me goes beyond friendship," he chuckled as he held his arm out to you, waiting for yours to be placed over his, his eyes following every little movement of yours. A sudden rush of heat travelled up to your cheeks, your breathing slightly laboured as you tried to calm your heavily beating heart. He was not wrong after all. It's been years since you have been harbouring these feelings, but you hadn't had the heart to confess them. Tom was more important to you than to ruin it over some silly feelings.

Sometimes, when you caught Tom's eyes on you, watching you intently, a soft smile spread across his face, it made you think if maybe, just maybe he was harbouring similar feelings towards you. But the idea was quickly swept away by your doubts, the thought of such an amazing man falling for you seeming impossible. You knew your worth, you didn't write yourself down, but Tom has always been perfect in your eyes, and you couldn't imagine him wanting you even if at times a certain silly part of your brain whispered otherwise.

"I love your healthy self-confidence," you finally gathered your ability to be able to reply, earning a comical huff from him. You have been trying hard, to deny your romantic interest in him, but rumours about the two of you have become a reoccurring news and it didn't help your case to shove your feelings in the back of your mind.

"Ready?" He asked as his gaze turned towards the red carpet. Heaving a heavy sigh, you nodded and murmured a 'yes' as a response.

As soon as the cameras started flashing, hundreds of photos of Tom and you being taken, you conjured a sweet little smile that the tabloids loved. You were always nervous when it came to these events. It was Tom's job to answer some of the questions journalists asked of him, which meant they were to ask about your relationship. It was becoming repetitive, making you feel uncomfortable. The questions themselves didn't bother you but repeating over and over again that the man you have fallen for is merely a friend, felt like a stab in your heart, each time you responded.

"Tom! Tom!" One of the reporters shouted his name and he led you to the side of the red carpet, halting right beside the metal cordons. Questions were flying around, photos had been taken, but you didn't concentrate. Your senses were heightened as Tom pulled you in his side, his arm now wrapped around your waist, gently, but firmly holding onto you. Looking up at him, you studied his face, his ice-blue eyes focusing on the reporter, an excited smile across his face. He seemed so relaxed, so collected, meanwhile even events after events you were still nervous. As though he could feel it, he turned to you with a soft, reassuring smile, giving you a nod, silently asking if you were alright. For others, the movement could have easily been missed, but to you, it was like an earthquake, shaking your heart, making you fall even deeper for him. In a reply, you nodded and offered him a smile as you squeezed his hand that rested on your waist.

"So, Tom, this might be a bit more personal, but everyone has been talking about the two of you," he started, and your eyes immediately darted towards the man. You knew the question, heard it a thousand times already, so you prepared your heart to give the same reply as always. 'We are just friends,' you repeated time after time, hoping they would finally understand and let you be, but they didn't seem to budge. "You have been friends for a long time, and your fans have been talking about how close the two of you have become. Do you think, maybe in the future, there's a possibility for romance to blossom?" He asked with an expectant expression, a sly smile in the corner of his lips.

"As we have said before," you spoke up, ready to reply as you always did, "we—"

"You never know what the future holds for you, there are many possibilities" Tom cut in with a mischievous smile, your eyes growing wide as you looked up at him. Tom chuckled at your expression as he leaned down and kissed the top of your head. "Tell me I'm wrong," he arched a brow questioningly, his words starting your heart off at a faster pace, your cheeks feeling warmer under his intent gaze, those blue eyes you often found yourself lost in.

"Well—, I mean I can't argue with that statement," you replied, feeling slightly awkward. A confused smile started growing wider on your face as Tom led you away. "Why did you do that?" You asked as you finally stepped inside the building, his arm still resting around your waist as you headed towards a large room filled with all sorts of foods and drinks, people dancing in the middle, the dim lightning offering a rather intimate mood. "You just created even more gossip," you scolded him, but seemingly he didn't mind. He led you to a table where his name was printed on a nametag and pulled the chair out for you before he took his seat beside you.

"I didn't say anything," he smiled at you as innocently as he could manage, the corner of his eyes crinkling.

"You did. Exactly because you were so secretive, people will want to read between the lines. They will think there's more to us than friendship," you huffed as you hid your face in your palm and heaved a heavy sigh.

"And is that so bad?" He frowned, earning the same expression from you.

"What?" A silent scoff left your lungs. "What are you trying to say?"

"Is that such a big problem if people think we are together?" He asked, his confident tone stunning you.

"Of course, not. I don't care what rumours are being spread about me, but I don't want them to gossip about you," you reached for his hand on the table and wrapped your fingers around it, giving it a gentle squeeze. His expression stayed emotionless; you couldn't read him entirely, but you knew he seemed off.

"I will go grab us a drink," he said as he stood up, leaving you frowning. You weren't sure what you said that made him upset, and regardless of trying to put on a straight face, you knew he wasn't happy with your response.

You watched as he walked over to a small table filled with the most delicious looking cakes and a couple of bottles of champagne, ready for the guests before they brought out the main course. Tom grabbed a battle of champagne and two glasses, filling up both halfway, before he placed the battle back into an ice bucket.

"What is it?" You asked as he returned and gave you one of the glasses.

"What do you mean?" He asked, taking a seat beside you.

"We've known each other for quite a long time. I can read you like an open book. What's bothering you?" Trying to get him to open up, you shuffled closer to him, your chair scraping the floor, turning heads in your direction. "Oops," you scratched the back of your neck awkwardly, earning a chuckle from Tom.

"Very subtle," he mocked you.

"Don't change the subject Mr. Hiddleston," you raised a questioning brow, a tiny smile hidden in the corner of your lips.

"Nothing is bothering me," he added, but your suspicious gaze didn't falter. "I'm being honest, darling," the sly little fox knew his nickname for you would make you soften up and he used every opportunity to say it when he felt cornered.

"Fine," you squinted. "But we aren't done! I'm not blind, I can see something is on your mind."

"Yes, ma'am, I can't wait for this conversation to come back around," he mocked you once again, making you huff as you gently punched his shoulder.

Throughout the night, said conversation was forgotten, the alcohol consumption rose, the amount of people dancing around the room grew, meanwhile others sat at their tables, trying to digest the previously served delicious meals. You couldn't deny that you had a good laugh with Tom and his co-stars from all sorts of movies he had been in. It felt like a little family, people coming together to just have a joyous time.

The way Tom smiled at his friends, praising each other, before turning to mock one another forced your eyes to rest on his excited features. He looked so alive, so happy and the feeling of the man you loved being in his element meant everything to you. Tom was radiating enthusiasm and you couldn't look away as you watched his ever-growing smile, his nose scrunched up at an unexpected subject, his head falling back as a loud laughter erupted from his lungs. He was always handsome, but when he was happy, it filled you up with a certain warmth that you couldn't explain. Like you always wanted to make him happy just to be able to see that cheerful smile spread across his face.

He turned to you, catching your gaze on him once again. His arm sneaked behind you, pulling you closer and leaning down to your ear. "You are staring at me again," you couldn't see it, but you could feel his smile spreading wider.

"I like to see you happy," you shrugged with a soft smile as you leaned back to be able to meet his gaze. His smile faltered, but his eyes softened.

"Dance with me," he said as he offered his palm to you, and you placed your hand in it.

"I take no responsibility for broken toes," you said with a silent chuckle as you followed him to the dancefloor.

"Don't worry, darling, it's worth the injury," he mirrored your expression as you stopped in the middle of the dance floor. A slow, romantic song started playing in the background, his arms finding their perfect position around your waist as yours sneaked around his neck.

It was a slow and peaceful dance, not requiring much knowledge and talent. You just enjoyed each other's presence, gazes meeting, smiles forming, swaying to the slow rhythm of the music. You didn't speak a word, but the silence wasn't uncomfortable. It never was with Tom. A soft smile, a quick glance, a simple gesture meant more than thousands of words when you were with him.

You laid your head against his chest, listening to his fast heartbeat, taking on a quicker pace just like yours did. "I miss you when you are not with me," he spoke for the first time as he leaned down and kissed the top of your head. You didn't move away; his embrace was too comfortable, and you couldn't care about people watching you.

"I always miss you. You are the one travelling all the time after all," you chuckled lightly, not wanting to ruin the moment.

"I could be only a mile away and I would still miss you," he replied as you pulled back a bit to meet his soft gaze, but there was no smile present across his handsome face. As the song finished, you found yourself standing in front of him, slightly confused about the conversation. "Do you want to go to the balcony? Have some fresh air?" He asked, taking on a more cheerful expression, but you knew him more than to believe it was genuine. In a response you nodded and linked your arm with his.

Following him through the sea of people, you finally arrived at the balcony, looking down to a smaller version of a park, a water fountain standing tall in its centre. You leaned against the rail as you watched the trees battling the silent wind, fallen leaves being blown across the walking path. Tom joined beside you, his eyes following the same direction as you did before they halted on your face. "You are being strange tonight," you spoke up, feeling his gaze resting on you before you turned to him, meeting his eyes.

"I'm just thinking," he added with a half-hearted smile.

"About?" You asked as you reached for his hand resting on the rail and placed yours on top of his. He turned his palm upside down and lifted your hand, hinting a small kiss on your knuckles as he heaved a heavy sigh. "Tom talk to me," you squeezed his fingers reassuringly, his eyes watching you, not leaving your gaze for a moment. "You have been rather quiet around me," you added.

His whole body turned to you, as though he was focusing his complete attention on you. Reaching towards you, he brushed your hair to the side, gently tucking it behind your ear. You leaned into the touch involuntarily, only realising your actions when he caressed your cheek with his thumb, before moving down and running it across your lips. The feeling burnt you, starting your mind off in a very dangerous territory, one that you have been avoiding. 'He is your friend' you tried to remind yourself. But once the tip of his thumb brushed along your lips once again, you couldn't stop yourself. Stepping forward, you placed your hands on his chest, steading yourself and rose on your tiptoes, pressing your lips against his.

Your own bravery surprised you, but Tom didn't seem affected. As soon as your lips met, his arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer. He didn't hesitate, he wasn't surprised. He just held you, gently running his lips along yours, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. But as much as you wanted to enjoy the moment, realisation hit you. You were kissing your best friend. You gently pushed him away, stumbling back from the force, covering your mouth with your palm. "I'm so sorry," you breathed, panic rising in your chest. "I have no idea what happened, I don't know why I did that, I'm so sorry," your words were rushed, your heartbeat loudly pulsing in your ears.

But Tom's gaze twinkled. A soft, warm smile grew wider across his face as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around you. "I'm not," he said as he pressed his forehead against yours. "I've been wanting to kiss you," he breathed as he closed his eyes momentarily, slightly shaking his head. "I've been wanting to tell you how much I love you; I've been trying to gain the courage to say it out loud," he scoffed. "I'm a fool for dragging it out for so long, but I love you," his voice shook as he said the words, but his arms tightened around you, safely holding you against his chest. It took you a second to understand what he meant, that your feelings weren't unrequited, that he has been harbouring the same feelings you have.

A heavy sigh left your lungs, as though a weight fell off your chest. Your lips curved into a smile as you placed your hands on his cheeks, running the tip of your thumbs across his jawline. He mirrored your expression whilst leaning into your touch, planting a small kiss on your palm. "I love you too," you replied finally," the words rolling off the tip of your tongue easier than you expected. "I love you so much," you giggled, wanting to repeat the words over and over again, until you finally understood that it was real, that you weren't dreaming. "You never know what the future holds for you, huh?" You asked, repeating his words from earlier in the evening, earning a loud chuckle from him. "So, is this one of those many possibilities?" you raised a single brow.

"Could be. I have a couple more ideas," he said, his soft smile turning into a confident grin.

"You are terrible," you gently hit his chest as you grabbed his suit-jacket and pulled him down to you, meeting his lips halfway, smiling into the intimate moment you have been craving for so long.

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[bigskydreaming]

Hi, I was reading your post about Jason punching Dick in the face when Dick revealed he fake his death was bullshit ( which it was) and it reminded me of an issue/question that has bothered me for sometime.

Why did people believe Dick was actually dead?

I’m not the most avid comic reader so maybe I missed something but it was always weird to me that everyone just accepted this especially given how Bruce was acting or should I say wasn’t acting.

This is a man when his child died another child had to come along and told him sir you are being too violent and emotional you need supervision. When his other child died he went all over the universe to bring him back to life because he knew it was possible ( which was happening at the same time), so why didn’t anyone think it was weird he wasn’t doing that for Dick. Can you imagine Dick really dying that soon after Damian it would be injustice Batman Version. You are telling me that Tim, Jason or Barbara didn’t think it was weird that Bruce didn’t also bring Dick’s corpse to the bring Damian back to life mission or mention it to themselves. Like what more likely Dick dead and Bruce is handling it well or that he fake his death to do something stupid and Dangerous after his partner/brother/ little bit my son the feelings are complicated died after he was knocked out and woke up to his corpse.

Oh man, this is like, the entire nature of my beef?

(Slight derail just to emphasize the fact real quick that Dick DID actually die, he was just revived quickly, but like, the trauma of his death was very real and its not like anyone was clued into Luthor having a resurrection backdoor built into his literal murder of Dick in the actual moment of it happening. So Dick’s death wasn’t fake, and additionally, he didn’t have anything to do with like, telling people about it, because he was literally comatose in the cave and recovering while Bruce was telling people....by the time Dick woke up in the cave, we already know that Alfred at least had already been convinced by Bruce that Dick was dead, so I have a kneejerk need to pushback against the Dick faked his death narrative by reminding people wherever possible that Dick had no agency in the spreading of that narrative. 

It happened without him being involved, and the only actual contribution he ever made to it was just not revealing he was alive before Grayson #12, after Bruce like.....emotionally, mentally and physically badgered him into accepting that doing so would be directly harmful to his family and he didn’t want to be the reason more people died when like, people had just died because he ‘let’ himself be captured and interrogated by Power Woman’s Lasso of Submission, did he?

SORRY TO BE PEDANTIC, just wanted to start this off on a clarification, even though I know the aim of your ask was very much in tune with the rest of my response. A lot of people don’t read the actual comics, so like, I’m never gonna skip over an opportunity to emphasize that the shorthand people use to refer to Dick’s death and the year he was with Spyral, is like, literally just shorthand for describing it. Its not actually an accurate description of how all that went down and who had the most hand in it).

BUT ANYWAY. BACK TO THE MEAT OF THE BEEF.

Okay so like, not only was the entire family and Bruce himself giving Dick shit for his death and Spyral, like, PAINFULLY egregious because it was literal victim blaming in every possible sense of the word....

None of it made a LICK of sense with ANY of their characterizations, and they ONLY all accepted it on face value because the Plot Demanded It, and when you're like, no, as a reader I say The Plot Demanded It is not a good enough reason for me to be like well sure, that makes sense......looking at the characters ACTUAL actions at face value pretty much just makes them all look like assholes?

Like, Tim has never gracefully accepted anyone's death. Ever. This is core characterization for him. He will go to the ends of the earth for his loved ones and to bring them back, prove they're not dead, refuse to let death be the final verdict for them. He was tempted to use the Lazarus Pit to bring his parents back to life. He refused to accept Bruce was dead long before he had any proof whatsoever of that theory. He tried to clone his BFF/future-husband Kon in his fucking basement like, dude was two whole inches away from going Full Dark Side in his quest to bring back a lost loved one no matter WHAT the cost.....and then you've got Dick unmasked onscreen, killed offscreen, and Bruce then reporting to the rest of them with zero inflection 'oh Dick's dead now. Its very sad' and Tim's just like, sure. Sounds legit.

I mean?!?!

And you're SO RIGHT ABOUT THE DAMIAN THING! Bruce LITERALLY LITERALLY LITERALLY went BEYOND the ends of the Earth, like, he full on chartered a fucking space ship to fly his whole family out to APOKOLIPS to bring Damian back from the dead by going to EXTREME lengths.....WHILE everyone else thought Dick was dead....

And not a single person looked at Bruce and was like, okay, not that we're not down to do this for Damian because we miss Stabby Smurf something fierce ourselves, but.....what the fuck is UP with you dude? Why aren't you displaying ANY hint of this same kind of energy in regards to your eldest son that you said you watched die right in front of you?

Like....I don't know that we were actually ever told that Dick's coffin was empty or had a fake in it, but like....this family of detectives who refuse to accept death, defy death, COME BACK FROM THE DEAD....not a single one of them said like, okay, if I'm gonna like, ACCEPT accept that Dick is dead and gone for good, I need to at least just see him one last time? That's literally all it would have taken for someone to realize hey something's a little wonky here. Where's the dead body, Pops?

Since when has Jason ever missed an opportunity to prove Bruce is a) full of shit, b) acting like an emotionless robot and all his kids deserve better especially when they've just like....died, c) just factually incorrect and wrong and jumped to a conclusion before it was conclusively proved, d) lying like a liar or e) all of the above?

Nobody even ASKED if Dick's body could be put in a Lazarus Pit? Yeah, Jason wouldn't necessarily recommend it himself, given what it put him through, but actually fuck that, I take that back, because I'm NOT actually of the opinion that Jason full on hates his life and actively spends every second of every day wishing he hadn't been resurrected, even if it had come with a huge buffet of additional trauma and pain.

And that's kinda what's implied when people just take it for granted that he would never be on board with any scenario involving using a Lazarus Pit to bring Dick back, because it suggests that based even just on his own experiences and feelings, he honestly believes Dick would prefer being dead and not have ANY further opportunities to be with his loved ones, his friends, help save the damn world again at some future point.....that Jason, projecting based just off himself, legit feels Dick would rather be dead than have another shot at life even WITH the downsides of Lazarus Pit usage? Nope. Sorry, I don't buy it.

Speaking of not buying it.....you know what was missing from all those soliloquies the others monologued at Dick about how they felt and were hurt and just devastated by his death, to such a point they can't seem to muster a single shred of happiness that he's NOT dead still -

(seriously, Damian was the ONLY person in ALL THE LANDS OF EMOTION-HAVING who expressed ANY kind of positive reaction to having Dick back. We were so fucking cheated of like.....ANY opportunity to have the characters show just how much they valued him by just being fucking HAPPY he was alive, no matter what else was involved....and then most of fandom compounded that by for years being like mmmm, no, Dick didn't get yelled at enough by his family for what HE put THEM through. Needs more yelling. More punching too. Bad Dick. Bad. This is the only way you'll learn not to die and get shipped off on a mission that you don't want but at least is to protect your family after being beaten into it by your dad whilst victim blaming you for dying in the first place. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN TO THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR FEELINGS FOR A CHANGE, DICK?!?)

- But like, BUT I DIGRESS aside....you know what was missing from all those monologues about how hard DICK'S death and ensuing year of basically exile from his loved ones was for EVERYONE BUT HIM?

We never got a single line of explanation as to what everyone else officially thinks even happened to him in the first place?

Like, did Bruce straight up just say oh bad news kids, your brother umm. Expired. Spontaneously. There's no one to blame, he just keeled over, its all very sad.

Is that how that went down?

You're telling me that the explanation of Dick's death didn't come with a single pointed finger at someone for this family of blame-happy vigilantes to like, BLAME for the loss of this brother they all mourned oh so much, they just couldn't help but blame him for all the hurt it caused them?

The family that in every other fic is like OBSESSED with avenging and being avenged and all things vengeful and even tangentially vengeance-y....like didn't ask for a single detail on whomst the fuck deprived us of our brother-having?

Where were the attempts on Luthor's life by Jason (who I mean, yeah I know it was in a previous continuity, but erasing that timeline doesn't erase my awareness of the time Dick killed Jason's murderer so like.....mmm, just saying, woulda been nice)....where was the rage directed at the Crime Syndicate and references to how seriously and personally the Batfam took making sure that they were PUNISHED for all this and would never be free to wreak havoc on their world or their family again? What did they tell Damian when he came back to life, and how are you going to tell me that this fraternal little ball of fury didn't aim himself like a cannonball at whomever the fuck had DARED take HIS Batman from him when Damian wasn't around to have his back?

Not only does everyone else's desire to be avenged start falling really flat the second you factor in hey maybe Dick feels "mmm what about MY avenging" sometimes, and why doesn't anyone ever care about doing that for him.....but also, y'know what REALLY sucks about the ONLY person we actually SEE being blamed for Dick's death and ensuing absence being like....Dick himself?

Not only were his family all super keen on making all of this HIS fault and HIM the bad guy because of how it made them all feeeeeeel (and meanwhile fuck his feelings, am I right Batfam hfaklshfklahfkla).....

They somehow found a way to justify prioritizing this OVER ever even getting around to blaming some villain for his death in the FIRST place, in the entire year or so they thought he was still dead!

Like, you couldn't come up with a single target in all that time, but Dick's back two seconds, and you don't even give him a chance to EXPLAIN before you're punching him, shutting him down with 'I expected better from you' and turning away with 'I don't want to hear it, why am I surprised Dick Grayson disappointed me again'?

afshklfhalfhalfhla

Make it make sense!

And like, it won't, cuz it doesn't, and it never will, and like I said at the top, the ONLY reason it all played out this way is because DC doesn't give a fuck about character development and deemed it necessary to go down this way for the sake of the plot (which was totes worth it, I mean, glad we sacrificed characters for this A+ plot which was clearly the greatest plot of all time and definitely justified every story choice made or not made around it loooool).

BUT.

BUT BUT BUT.

The problem isn't JUST that DC is stupid, even though that is an eternal mood and quite the problem.

Its that the SECOND large parts of fandom decided to play along with DC and just accept the story at face value, only add to it and play into it exactly as it happened in canon with no significant deviations, and like, heaping on the LITERAL abuse from Dick's siblings while ignoring the LITERAL abuse from his father....

THAT....is when all of this becomes relevant.

Because the second people decided TO engage with the reasoning DC gave for what Bruce did and how and what Dick did and how and just not mess with any of that and have it all play out exactly like that...

The second people are like, okay we're FINE with not just dismissing this story as OOC writing that doesn't make any sense, and actually VALIDATING it to various degrees by engaging with it as is....

That's when 'OOC writing' stops being an excuse or explanation for alllll of the above gaps in character logic and actions.

Because its like, when you had abundant chance to REJECT this story and say nope, this was bullshit from start to finish and I'm not here for it, when you were just as capable of transforming literally ANY aspect of this story you didn't like into something that made more sense to you....

And you chose not to.

That's.....accepting it as valid writing. You were like, okay, I'm game to just treat this as a thing that happened, just like they said that happened.

For the chance to give Dick shit for it, see. For the angst, see.

And that's when I'm like okay cool, so when engaging with this story as is and accepting it on face value and just delving into the characters as they were SHOWN interacting with and around these events......for the angst or whatever....

You guys just all decided en masse to just hop, skip and jump over allllllllll the opportunities for angst inherent in examining even ANY SINGLE ONE of the above lapses in judgment or hypocrisy on the parts of the characters (who don't get to be excused by OOC writing if you're not going to call the story an example of OOC writing, whoops).

And its just like, uh, what's up with that?