#I only read fics with this pairing if it’s one sided and horribly toxic

[emeraldcity1900]

radiostatic is a ship in the same way that the titanic is a ship: it’s sinking, tilted on one side and it’s underscored by banging music for some reason.

[luvyeni]

MAKE YOU MINE ,, 정성찬

pairings ‎⸝⸝⸝ jung sungchan x fem!reader wc. 3k

genre. smut

𓄷 includes ... age gap relationship ( not chan and reader but it is legal but toxic ), sungchans dad is horrible, cheating ( it's justifiable in my eyes ), oral sex , unprotective sex ,

「 authors note 𖹭 」 the first cheating fic where i don't feel dirty 😭

❪ masterlist! ❫

“you are one lucky fucking bastard sungchan i swear.” he came down the stairs to his friends staring out his window into his backyard.

“what are you talking abo…” he trailed off. “is she out there again?” he sighed. “bro she does this often?” shotaro slapped wonbins shoulder. “bro , i told you we should come over often.” sungchan scoffed; even though his eyes copied theirs and they now were all staring out the huge back door window— where you were sitting by the pool that left nothing to the imagination. “this makes me want to kill your dad for some reason.”

sohees words shook him right out of his thoughts. “stop looking.” he said , closing the curtains, making his friends groan. “now why would you do that?” eunseok asked. “cause of my dad comes home and finds you oogling his fucking girlfriend, he's gonna kick you out and give me shit for it.” he said. “and that's the last thing i need.”

“how’d your dad bag a hottie like that?” seunghan asked the question that he wondered everyday. “she's young and hot and your dad is well old and a little funny looking if you ask me.” wonbin said. “money obviously, it's the only thing he has going for him.” he said. “his attitude is shit, he treats her like shit; parades her around like a prize winning puppy and then leaves her here for me to take care of.” he said. “seems like you're living the dream, why are you upset?”

“what do you mean living the dream?” he questioned his friend. “you mean to tell me you never made a move on her?” shotaro asked surprised. “no.” his friends were shocked. “you, jung sungchan never tried to fuck her?” he was confused. “and risk her telling my dad? he'd have my fucking neck.” he said. “look at that.” eunseok was peeking through the curtains, you were floating around on the floaty, reading a book. “fuck, it would be a risk i’m willing to take.”

you finished your book for the day, floating back to the side of the pool, climbing out. you gathered everything you had out there, wrapping your body in your robe, making your way to the house.

“oh hi yn.” anton was the first to notice you. “hi.” you smiled, sungchan watching the guys look at you; with the look in their eyes, the same look they gave girls in the club or at school, and it pissed him off. “already all of you time to go.” he pushed them out. “you have your owns and families to terrorize, leave now.” they all groaned, you laughed watch as the boy pushed them right out the front door. “bye yn!”

the door closed, and you began to make your way up the steps. “you need to stop dressing like that when the boys are over, i told you this already.” he said. “but i covered this time.” you said, he looked at your pathetic excuse of a cover up, he could still see your pink bathing suit that did a piss poor job at covering your tits. “look when they look at you they don't see the girl dating my dad.” he said. “they see the girl their age lounging around half naked by the pool , and that makes their brains go haywire.” he said. “oh right.”

“im sorry.” you frowned, he felt bad, you were constantly being scolded by his dad, he didn't want to be the one either. “look, it's fine.” he sighed. “just put on a bathing suit that covers your boobs at least next time , go out some clothes on and i’ll order some dinner.” you nodded , walking up the steps, he let out a little smile as he watched you bounce up the steps.

“do you know when your dad will be back?” you picked at the food he put on your food. ‘probably screwing the next young girl’ he thought. “he said he would be on a work trip for a little longer.” he said, you sighed. “you think he's cheating on me?”

did you really care for his dad? “i don't know.” he said. “I know you probably think i'm with him for the money, but i really do like him.” you said. “well i did.” his ears perked up. “did?” he said. “he's so mean now, yelling at me, pushing me around only using me when he needs to save face.” you frowned, tears streaming down your face. “and then shoving his card in my face to shut me up, i feel like a live in prostitute.”

“why won't you leave them?” he asked, reaching over to wipe your face, your eyes widened at the sudden affection. “because i think maybe one day he'll change.” you said. “but i don't think it will, will it?” he didn't know what to say. “im sorry yn.” you shook your head. “no it's not your fault.” you stood up from the table. “he's the evil, not you.” you smiled sadly. “maybe it would've been better if i just dated you instead.”

that stayed in his head all night as he made his way to his room; leaving the plates for the cleaners to clean. “yn?” he knocked on the bedroom door you shared with his dad, but he didn't get an answer, he slowly opened the door, your sleeping body laid peacefully. he was about to close the door when you turned on your side , facing him, still sleeping; but the covers had fallen off of you, revealing your body; you were wearing nothing but thin tank top and some panties; he knew it was weird, but you did look so pretty.

you let out a huff of air, he quickly shut the door, sighing, making his way back to his room, closing the door. “shit.” he sat on his bed; hands in his head, his head spinning with his newest revelation, and his newest visual of you— his cock stirring in his shorts, he took his shirt off the heat radiating from his body being too much.

he laid in bed , his head against the headboard as his hands traveled down his chest , down to his shorts, he groaned as he began to palm himself. “fuck.” he cursed, pulling himself from his shorts , his cock bobbing against his stomach.

he held his hard cock in his hand, squeezing the base of his length, biting his lip as he stroked his cock up and down, his tip leaking with precum he used to wet his cock. “oh fuck.” he moaned; his thoughts going straight to you in your bathing suit, you looked so hot; he hated he had to scold you for wearing it.

his hips snapping up into his hand; squeezing his balls, as he worked himself towards his orgasm. he couldn't help it, all he could do was think about you, your lips, your body, your smile; god your smile turned him on so much, he wondered how your mouth would feel stuff full of his cock. “oh fuck yn.” he moaned out your name, his length twitching in his hand. “fuck im gonna cum.” he threw his head back as the cum shot out from his cock , hitting his chest , covering his hand.

he let his flaccid cock sit on his stomach as he came down from his high, the post nut clarity hitting; this was gonna be last time you ever jerked off to the fleeting thoughts of you; he was going turn the thoughts about fucking you into a reality; he was gonna make sure you never cried about his dumbass dad… he was gonna take you away from him.

you woke up the next morning; head hurting from crying, getting dressed for the day, before making your way downstairs, where people were rushing back and forth, which only meant one thing, he was back. “where is she?”

you walked into the kitchen. “there she is sir.” his assistant pointed to you. “is this what you do everyday sleeping in?” you sighed. “well you don't let me go to school, what else am i supposed to do?” you never talked back, afraid of what he might do. “and what would a pretty dumb thing like you do in school?”

“god dad you really know how to show your love.” sungchan came into the kitchen; he was shirtless, his abs on display, they were so much better to look at than your boyfriend's alcoholic belly. “good morning.” he smiled at you, which came to a surprise since you often never saw a smile from him unless his friends were over. “m-morning.”

“i told you about dressing appropriately while he was here.” he grabbed your arm , pulling you close to him, gritting through his teeth. “i-i just woke up, he normally doesn't get up this early.” you stuttered , sungchan watching it go down angrily. “you're such an embarrassment.” he shoved you away, taking his card out his wallet and throwing it on the table. “go get a new wardrobe.” he said, his assistant coming in. “where are you going?” you asked. “to make money so the both of you can lay around and spend it.”

“sir we have to go.” he rushed out, his team following behind him; not even muttering a goodbye or even a i love you. “you okay?” sungchan came up from behind, wrapping a comforting arm around you. “ye-yeah i'm fine.” you could feel his warm skin on yours. “what about you, you okay?” he scoffed. “please I've been called a lazy bum by that man since 4th grade.” he flagged it off. “doesn't make it right.” he watched you open the fridge grabbing a water bottle. you were right, that's why he was gonna fix it. “I'm gonna go get dressed.” you said , leaving the card. “what about this?”

“i don't want his money.” you said, he picked up the card. “i say we take it and spend as much money as the bank allows.” he smirked. “you deserve it after the shit he puts you through.” you thought about it, you did deserve it, you were tired of putting up with his shit. “let's go.” he chuckled, shaking his head as you excitedly ran up the stairs.

and spend his money you both did, both of you going into multiple different stores just buying anything your hearts wanted; even going as far as to buy things just because you picked it up; it was fun, sungchan was fun to be around actually, and not the little ingrate his father made him out to be. half way through your trip, you actually began to think again— what would've happened if you did end up dating him and not his dad?

you dropped the bags on the floor of the house , sungchan holding at least twenty on his arms, that didn't even count the ones in his car. “did we over do it?” you bit your lip nervously. “he's gonna be so mad.” he scoffed. “nothing compared to what im about to do with my online purchases.” you laughed. “we can have someone bring these to your room, go ahead and shower whatever and i’ll order dinner, steak?” you squint your eyes in suspicion. “you don't eat steak on a random sunday.” he smiled. “you ever seen how expensive they are?” you shook your head, making your way up the stairs— his mind was made up, he was doing this tonight.

“let's watch a movie.” he said after dinner. “me and you?” you questioned. “yeah, you wanna?” you nodded. “yes.” he smiled. “good, let's go.”

he guided you to the living room; you sat on the big couch, he sat directly next to you, knees touching. “what do you want to watch?” you shrugged. “anything is fine.” you replied. “you got a favorite movie?” you nodded. “i love the princess diaries.” he stared blankly. “we don't have to watch it.” he shook his head. “no I asked, i brought it on myself, let's find the princess diaries.”

sungchan wasn't paying attention to the movie; you were halfway through and he couldn't tell you anything about it; but he could tell you in full detail of your face, every blemish, every scar he could tell you. “you aren't watching this, are you?” you asked , turning to him. “no im so sorry.” he said. “i can see why you like it, but yn i don't think i can watch the second one.” you were too busy laughing to even hear his excuses. “it's okay, we can watch what you want to watch.”

“what if i want to watch you instead?” you lowered your head to conceal your smile. “that's boring no? he shook his head. “with how pretty you are? no.” he could see you liked that. “god you're smiling so hard , he never complimented you like that?” you shook your head. “jesus , he's fucking blind if he doesn't think so.”

before you could say anything, his lips were on yours; his hands on the side of your face, holding you in place, lowing you down on the couch. “wa-wait.” you pulled away breathless. “we can't do this, chan im with your dad.” he scoffed, hovering above you. “and how is that going for you?” he kissed your neck, your hand came up to his hair. “come on yn.” he was slotted in between your legs, giving him access to grind his pelvis into you. “su-sungchan.” you whimpered.

“let me make you feel so much better.” he lifted your shirt over your head , kissing down the valley of your breast. “way better than he ever made you feel.” he kissed your waistband, coming back up to your face to kiss you. “let me touch you.” he squeezed your boob. “fuck you.” you moaned, he smirked. “you like that?” he teased. “you want me to fuck you?” you nodded. “y-yes.”

“good girl.” he sat back, pulling his shirt off, your eyes scanning his abs. “you like?” he questioned. “you were staring at them this morning, right in front of him, like you didn't even care that he was there.” you felt his hand grabbing the waistband of your shorts , pulling them down. “such a pretty body , god my dad is so fucking stupid.” he got in between your legs, holding your legs over his shoulders. “gonna eat this pretty pussy.” he kissed in between your thighs.

“fuck you smell good.” he pulled your panties to the side, your glistening folds, sweet scent; you whimpered about to beg him to do something before he licked a strip up your folds. “ch-chan.” you moaned out hands threading in his hairs, yanking it as he made out with your cunt, drowning himself in you, it was better than anything he'd tasted before.

“fuck!” you yelped as he suck on your sensitive clit. “chan i'm gonna cum.” you felt his tongue going in and out of you, he was moaning against your heat, like he was getting more pleasure out of it than you were. “fuck im cumming.” he pulled away catching his breath, before licking you clean. “ch-chan.”

he pulled away , wiping his mouth with a smirk. “fuck eating this pussy is gonna be my new pass time.” he pulled his pants down. “you want my cock baby?” he stroked himself lining up to your entrance, he was much bigger to what you were used to. “it's not gonna fit.” he hissed, you were so cute, it made him just want to stretch you full of his cock inside you. “fuck baby, we'll make it fit.”

holding your legs still, pushing himself inside your warm cunt. “oh fuck you're so tight.” he hissed, your cunt sucking him in. “old man must've not been fucking you right , this pussy feels like it hasn't been touched in a long time.” his eyes rolled to the back of his head in ecstasy, he had never felt like this before; he was about to cum before he could even fuck you.

“deeper ch-chan.” your nails dug into his arms as he fully seethed himself inside you. “fuck baby you feel that.” he brought your hand to your stomach a small bump forming. “that's me right there, i'm in your tummy right now.” you moaned. “please fuck me, make me forget him.”

that's all he needed before pulling out. “gonna make sure you never want to fuck that old man again.” he slammed back inside you. “shit!” held your hands above your head as he repeatedly slammed inside you, repeating his name over and over, moaning in his ear , you felt like heaven around him. “fuck princess , this pussy is molding to my cock.” he cursed. “fuck chan.”

“this is my pussy now.” he grunted, “you're mines , gonna take care of you.” he let your hands go, they flew to his back, scratching him up. “fuck that bastard.” you moaned out. “gonna cum chan.” he reached in between your bodies, rubbing your clit. “cum for me.”

he felt your legs shaking, cunt tightening around him. “oh fuck love you're squeezing my dick, gonna cum inside you.” his thrust started to falter. “gonna cum baby.” he stilled himself inside you , his cum shooting inside of you, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you felt him empty himself inside you. “good girl.”

…

“your dad must've been fucking pissed.” sungchan shrugged. “what's he gonna do.” he smirked. “take your ass right out the will.” shotaro said. “yeah? and have to tell everyone what happened? yeah no he'd never face embarrassment.”

“sungchan!” he smiled hearing your voice, you'd become much happier since that day, gaining all your confidence back , even started attending college again; all thanks to sungchan. “hey baby.” you ran into his arms, sitting down next to him , waving hello to all his friends. “what are you guys talking about?” sungchan kissing the side of your head.

“how i took you from my dad.”

©LUVYENI

[residentflamingo]

Only One Call Away

Rosé x gn! reader

Summary ———> Rosie decides to go out to drink with her friends. All is fine until reader gets a call from her two hours later. What happened while she was out?

Requested?: yes 🫶

Warnings: bullying, toxic friends, & cursing

Genre: hurt/comfort & a fluffy ending

A/N: To the person who requested this, thank you so much because this was probably the most challenging and longest thing I've ever written. And I put all my heart and soul into this. I think I made it a lot longer than I was supposed to, but that's okay. I always love a challenge, and a perfect opportunity to hone my writing skills. Anyway, I hope both the person who requested this and everyone else reading, enjoys this fic. You can also check out my other stuff if you would like, it's very much appreciated ❤️

Word count ———> 5,394

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

 → 10:00 PM 

“Babe, are you sure about this? Your friends are terrible! They don’t even pay attention to you half of the time when you guys hang out.” 

“Yes, it’ll be fine! Besides, they're not as bad as you say they are. I’ve been friends with them for a long time, they love hanging out with me!”

You were currently standing in front of your girlfriend, about to escort her into the cold winter night, trying to convince her not to go out with her friends. She was wearing a beautiful purple dress, with a cream colored fluffy coat over her shoulders, and a beautiful pair of Saint Laurent heels that made her look powerful with each step.

Her hair was curled, and it effortlessly flowed down her shoulders, making her look like an absolute goddess. You couldn’t believe how beautiful she was. You felt so lucky to have her as your significant other.

The only thing you found truly bad about her, was her friends.

No matter how good she looked, they always found different ways to ridicule and belittle her. Not her four best friends from Blackpink. No, these were her other friends she claimed she met in high school.

She would tell you stories of how they were really close back then, and how she kept in touch with them over the years as she got more famous. You loved hearing her tell stories of the adventures they had, and how she used to sneak out during the night and go on joyrides with them.

You hung out with her and those friends one time, just trying to see what they were like, and you couldn’t stand how rude they were. They constantly threw insults at her, mentioning how her aussie accent makes her sound silly when she talks, saying she needs to get a different hair style, and even making fun of the outfit she was wearing. You were absolutely disgusted at the way they were acting towards her. It was as if they didn’t even treat her like a normal human being.

They would even emotionally manipulate Rosie, making her think they were just joking, so she never noticed their horrible behaviors. When you confronted her about them, she always just insisted to you that that’s how they joke around. So it was hard trying to convince her to not be friends with them anymore. You love your girlfriend very much and you just want the best for her. You would hate for her to keep getting her heart broken over and over by those low-lifes she calls “friends.” But for now, all you could do was wait for Rosie to realize the huge mistake she was making.

You sighed, “Okay, whatever you say. Are you sure you don’t wanna stay home instead? I can order takeout, and we can watch movies.”

“Yes honey, I’m sure. There’s nothing to worry about. My friends will keep an eye on me, and make sure I don’t get too wasted.”

“Alright then. Just remember, I’m only one call away if you need me. I don’t mind picking you up.”

Rosie shook her head, and smiled at how protective you were being. She then stepped up towards you, put both of her hands on each side of your face, and looked you in the eyes and said “Okay. I’ll keep that in mind. I love you darling.” She then gave you a soft kiss on the lips, slowly walked towards the door, and turned around before opening it to look back and make sure you said “I love you” back to her.

“I love you too.” You said softly, as you waved her goodbye and watched her walk through the door and saunter down the long hallway of the apartment complex. Her words from earlier kept replaying in your head, making you wonder if she was ever going to come to a realization of how she needed to get rid of her supposed high school buddies.

After closing the front door, you turned around looking at Hank saying, “I guess it’s just me and you now buddy.” He leaned his head down on the tile floor with a loud sigh looking depressed. Almost as if he perfectly understood what you just said. You let out a loud sigh and plopped down on the couch, deciding to watch some boring Netflix shows that have been recommended to you for sometime.

Man you sure did miss her already, even though she’s only been gone for ten minutes. Before you started watching tv, you picked up your phone and made sure your notification volume was at full blast, so you wouldn’t miss one text or call from Rosie.

→ 11:30 PM

Meanwhile at the bar in downtown Seoul…

“Hey I’m gonna go get a drink from the bar, you guys want anything?”

“No, we're good, you hoe. Besides, you probably wouldn’t even order our drinks right anyways, knowing you and your terrible accent. People can even understand what you’re saying half of the time!”

Rosie’s so-called friends all started laughing at McKenzie’s remark, making Rosie’s lip quiver and her eyes start to water. So far tonight they didn’t hold back on the snide comments, and rude remarks against her. By the end of the night, Rosie had already felt like she was being pushed to her breaking point.

She had no idea how she never realized how mean her friends actually were to her. She hated how she would just ignore the rude remarks half of the time, and never say anything about it. She hated being taken advantage of. She knew deep down that they weren’t her real friends, it was just a matter of realizing it that was important.

Tonight she had a recollection of all the times they asked her for money, begged for free concert tickets, made fun of her outfits, bullied her, and even made her pay for most meals because they were “too expensive”. After tonight, she wanted nothing to do with them. She knew she should’ve listened to you, but she was too scared to let them go. She’s had so many good memories with them, and it was so hard for her to just throw it away.

They used to be such good people. It saddened her how much they changed over the years, and how she couldn’t do anything about it. Tonight was her chance to finally lift that weight off of her shoulders, and move on with the next chapter of life. Preferably without them in it.

“Okayyyy bestie, we’re gonna go to the bathrooom real quick. We’ll be righttt back heheh.” McKenzie slurred. Her and the rest of the people in the group turned around, and walked off into the bathroom, leaving Rosie alone as she went up to go order something at the crowded bar.

About 15 minutes later when Rosie finally got her drink, she walked over to the table everyone was originally sitting at, expecting them to be there waiting on her. Only to find out that none of them were there like they said they would be…

“Hey guys, they finally got done making my drink! Wait where is everyone..?”

→ 12:05 AM

“Aw shit, what the fuck is that?!” You shouted with confusion, as your phone suddenly started going off. You fell off the couch, startled from the loud noise, and then frantically searched for your phone in between the cushions. You realized you had fallen asleep on the couch, and was out for almost 3 hours. God that show must have been really boring then you thought. After finding your phone, your stomach dropped reading the caller id. Rosie. You quickly pressed answer, and whispered “Hey what’s up? Is everything alright?”

There was a couple seconds of silence over the phone, making you really worried, wondering if it was a prank caller or a kidnapper. Panic was about the only thing going through your mind right now, just begging for her to say one word over the phone. Then she finally did. You could hear her sniffling and crying, making your stomach drop.

“N-no. Something happened earlier. We were at this really crowded club and I went up to get a drink real quick, and when I turned around a couple minutes later, they were all gone. l-looked through the whole club asking if anyone knew where t-they went, and all of them said no. So I went outside, thinking I could walk home by myself, but I-I ended up getting lost, and now I have no idea where I am. They left me all alone and n-never texted me asking where I was. I’m so scared, Y/N. Just come and get me please.”

“What the fuck? Are you serious? They just left you all alone in the club? Those fucking bastards. Okay, I need you to stay where you are, and try to send me your location from your phone. Once you do that I’ll be able to track you down, and come pick you up. Can you do that for me?”

“Y-yeah I can do that. I’m so sorry for calling you this late Y/N. I didn’t think something like this would happen.”

“Honey it’s okay, it doesn’t matter anyways. I don’t give a shit about what time it is. If it was 4 AM, I still would’ve come to pick you up. Don’t worry about it at all. Just focus on sending me your location.”

You let out a deep breath that you had been holding in, hoping it would calm you down a little, after thinking about Rosie’s friends leaving her by herself at the bar. They were absolute pieces of shit to her. Completely knowing that she’s an idol, and that she could've gotten kidnapped or stalked, they still did it anyway. I mean what did she ever do to deserve that?

You couldn't even begin to imagine how scared she was right now. All alone in an unknown part of the city, losing her friends in the same night, and knowing she was being used all those years because she was famous? Absolutely terrible.

While waiting for her to respond, you hurried up and got dressed, picked up Hank, grabbed your car keys, and rushed out the door to run to your car.

“O-Okay I sent it to you. You should be getting it in a second.”

“Alright, I’ll be there in five minutes! Don’t move or go anywhere unless someone is following you okay?”

“Okay I will. I love you Y/N. Please hurry…” She said in a quavering voice.

“Okay I will don’t worry, bye!” You quickly hung up the phone, tossed it in the passenger seat, and swallowed a big lump in your throat. Your hands were currently gripped on the steering wheel so tight that your knuckles were turning white, your legs were shaking with anxiety, adrenaline was coursing through your veins, and sweat was running down your spine.

You had never been more panicked in any situation, than at this very moment. The constant reminder that your girlfriend was all by herself walking through the streets, in the midst of the dangerous neighborhoods, had you on edge. In a split second you quickly pulled out of the parking lot, faster than you ever had in your entire life.

You were currently speeding through the streets, going at least twenty miles over the speed limit, with all of your surroundings flashing by so fast that you couldn’t even process where you were. Quite a few citizens and onlookers had given you dirty looks, and shouts of insults along the way.

You obviously knew better than to speed. But with the situation at hand, you didn’t give a fuck if you got a ticket or not. Emotions were running high, and your mind was working faster than your normal decision making usually was.

Funny enough, right before the navigation on your phone signaled you weren’t that far from the destination, “A Thousand Miles” started playing on the radio. “Really? Right now?” you thought. The irony of it was quite hilarious, but that was something you wouldn’t notice until later. You really would walk a thousand miles for your girlfriend if you had too.

After making a sharp turn through the dark alleyway, you drove very slowly down the unfamiliar street, making sure Rosie would spot you in your small vehicle. The alley was filthy, trash layed out everywhere, and street lights were flickering making the area seem even more ominous. You hated going down dark places like these since they always made you so nervous, but that nervousness turned into determination as you were frantically searching for your girlfriend.

While your eyes were scanning the area through your windshield, you were suddenly startled by your girlfriend standing in front of the beaming headlights. You swiftly slammed your foot on the breaks, and made the car come to an abrupt stop. It seemingly scared the both of you, as you put your hand over your heart wondering if you just had a mini heart attack.

Meanwhile, Rosie’s eyes were widened with fear seeing an unknown car drive slowly in the alleyway, thinking she was about to get kidnapped by someone. Fear was running all the way through her body. So much so that her hands were shaking, and chills went down her spine. She slowly backed away from the car, and clutched her purse with both hands just in case she had to make a run for it. You looked at her and tilted your head in confusion, wondering why she wasn’t coming towards the car. Then you realized, “Ohhh. She probably thinks I’m someone else trying to pick her up.”

You then rolled the window down, and stuck your head out the window shouting "Hey, it’s me!” Rosie let out a deep sigh of relief, and thanked the lord for sending you her way to protect her. She felt so reassured to see you, knowing she could finally wrap her arms around you, and let out all of her bottled up emotions from tonight.

She was finally safe.

After a couple seconds of calming her nerves, she snaps out of it, and slowly walks over to the passenger side of the car. Climbing in, and firmly sitting down on the comfort of the smooth leather seats. She sits her purse down near her feet, and leans back in the seat letting out another deep sigh. This time to suppress her emotions down, so she wouldn’t have a full on nervous breakdown. You looked over at her and mumbled “Hi honey,” not wanting to speak too loud, since it was still late at night. But still trying to show excitement in seeing her, since you were so glad you found her.

She looked over at you and tried to speak, but words couldn't come out of her mouth. Her lip was trembling and her breaths became short, as all her emotions were threatening to break free from the invisible bottle she was containing them in. You took notice of this, and reached over to wrap your arms around her chest, enveloping her in a warm hug.

You had never seen her this pent up before, and it absolutely just broke your heart to pieces. You then made sure to speak up and let her know it was okay to let her emotions go, since she was so used to hiding them for the camera and the public eye.“It’s okay love. Let it all out, you can let your guard down around me. I’m here to listen.”

The flood gates had then been opened, and Rosie’s eyes began overflowing with tears as she let out a heartbreaking sob only you had ever heard. Not even her long time friends, or family members had ever heard her cry this hard. She felt completely comfortable around you, and decided to just let all of her emotions go in that moment.

She couldn’t believe how long her friends were using her for, and just the selfish way they had left her behind. On top of all the insults thrown at her. She tried to just ignore them, but she just couldn’t take it anymore. Along with that, she also felt guilty not listening to you whenever you tried to warn her about the toxicity she was constantly putting herself around. “How could I be so dumb, and not think to listen?” she thought.

She suddenly pulled away from your embrace, looked you in the eyes, and said “I’m so sorry for not listening to you, I don’t know what I was thinking. Y-you were only trying to help me, and instead I-”

As Rosie was going on trying to apologize to you, you interrupted her and hugged her again saying, “Hey hey hey, don’t worry about it. That doesn’t matter now. Everyone makes mistakes, and I know it wasn’t your fault. Besides, you’re better off without them now. You got me, Lisa, Jisoo, and Jennie to talk too. So trust me, you aren’t losing much.”

“Thank you Y/N. I don’t know how, but you always know the right thing to say. It really amazes me how perfect you are sometimes” Rosie mumbled, leaning her head over your shoulder, and giving you a tight squeeze to your chest.

At home whenever she needed advice, or a little encouragement for the day, you somehow always knew what to say no matter what it was. You’re always the best person she can rely on, the one person she could really be her true self around. As she thought about it a little harder, this was a moment in her life that determined how much she really does appreciate you, and how much she really does want to be with you.

She smiled to herself, thinking of how good of a partner you would be when you guys got married someday. She couldn’t wait for that day to come. Marriage was always something she had dreamed about, and you made it even more possible for her. When she finally snapped back to reality, she took a look over your shoulder and saw a familiar face sitting patiently in the back seat.

It was Hank, her favorite dog in the world! She slowly pulled away from you with one of her eyebrows raised, “Is that Hank there in the back seat?” You turned your head around to look at him too and chuckled saying, “Yeah I brought him, knowing you would be super excited to see him.” Hank looked up at Rosie and started wagging his tail with enthusiasm, sharing the same excitement Rosie had.

She then leaned over and picked up Hank, gently putting him in her lap. “Hiiii buddy! Are you so excited to see mommy? I know you are! Hahaha” You looked over at both of them and smiled, happy to see Rosie so cheerful again. While looking at her, a good idea had suddenly crossed your mind and you thought it was perfect for the situation at hand.

“Hey babe, you wanna go get some ice cream?” you asked.

“Yeah that sounds great!” she said cheerfully.

After checking to see if Rosie had her seat belt on, you put the car in drive, and gently pressed your foot on the gas to make the car accelerate. As you drove around a little bit, you could see people walking home from the bars, and stumbling over their own feet from consuming so much alcohol.

It was pretty much a normal sight, since it was a late friday night. You could tell that the only places that were open were the bars, making you a little bit nervous since you promised Rosie her ice cream. And most fast food restaurants definitely did not stay open until midnight.

But to your luck, as you made a left turn down to main street, you spotted a nice burger place that was still open. With the name “TJ Burger”, flashing on a huge, bright, neon sign. “Perfect” you mumbled under your breath. Hopefully they had ice cream, because this was probably the only fast food restaurant open for miles.

As you pulled up to the drive through looking at the menu, they had almost every kind of American food you could think of. Burgers, onion rings, chicken tenders, whatever it was, they certainly had it. Then when you looked over to the other side of the menu, there it was, twenty different kinds of milkshakes and ice cream flavors.

You smiled and looked over at Rosie, pointing to the menu to prove to her that they indeed did have ice cream. She smiled and mumbled “Yayyy”. While you were looking at the menu, you were suddenly interrupted by a booming voice from the loudspeaker that spooked the both of you a little bit. You shook your head and laughed over how jumpy you were, then you turned to Rosie and asked her,

“What flavor do you want honey?”

“Uhmm, I’ll just get chocolate.” she answered with a whisper.

You turned back around facing the loudspeaker, ordering a small vanilla cone for yourself, along with Rosie’s ice cream, then casually pulled up to the drive-thru window to wait.

The atmosphere in the car was kind of awkward, since you hadn’t really talked about what had previously happened earlier. So while waiting, Rosie wanted to find a way to kill the time. So, she got curious and asked you, “Have you ever been here before?”

You looked over at her and answered, “Nope! But I heard it’s really good. Why do you ask?”

She shook her head and said, “Oh I was just wondering. I figured you knew about this place already.”

“Nope I had never been here until now. I mean, I knew it was-”

Before you could finish your sentence, the fast food worker interrupted you and said, ”Here’s your ice cream.” with a rude tone. He then carefully handed you the cones, and before you could even say thank you he said “You’re welcome have a nice night.” then shut the window with an attitude.

Rosie chuckled saying, “Wow he must be really pissed off since we came in 10 minutes before they closed.” You widened your eyes sarcastically and laughed, “Yeah I think so too. That’s okay though, at least he didn’t notice you. That would’ve been a whole other ordeal. Anyways, here's your ice cream honey.”

Rosie smiled and grabbed the cone saying, “Thank you so much. I really don’t deserve you.” You smiled back at her, got all of your stuff organized, and then put your foot on the gas driving away into the city. She continued to shuffle in the seat trying to get comfortable, and finally took a small taste of her ice cream. Her smile grew even more after tasting the ice cream, and she started to do her little happy dance. You took a quick glance over at her, and laughed at how cute she was being.

On the way over towards the secret destination you were driving to, “Cooler Than Me” by Mike Posner started playing on the radio. It was a song both you and Rosie were very familiar with, since you both grew up in the early 2000s.

She quickly got excited upon hearing it and started singing the lyrics, “ If I could write you a song to make you fall in looove, I would already have you up under my arrm~” You giggling over how silly she was being by swaying her arms and singing with the music. Soon enough, you caught on and started singing along with her too.

By the time you both were done singing to the song, you were driving up a gravel road leading to the top of a hill. Rosie looked around confused, having no idea where she was at. So she turned to you for help.

“Hey, where are we at? I don’t think I’ve ever been here before.”

“Haha, you’ll see…”

You slowly drove the car up onto the top of the hill, and put it in park. There, through the windshield of the car, was a marvelous view that cast upon the whole city of Seoul. It was an absolutely beautiful site that made Rosie’s jaw stay open in shock. She had never seen anything quite like this before.

You could see all of the twinkling lights coming from the towers, all of the ant size cars driving down the highways, and all of the shining stars in the sky that were more visible tonight than they had been any other night. Your father used to take you to this spot during the early years of your childhood. It was a very special place to you, and you had only ever shared it with two people. Your mom, and Rosie.

Rosie couldn’t even believe what she was seeing right now. She had been living in Seoul for almost half of her life, and she still never knew there was even a spot like this. She was absolutely amazed as to how beautiful this sight was. I mean, how could you not be? Rosie wanted to see the view even more, so she placed Hank down in the back seat, slowly opened the door, and stepped out of the car in awe.

You watched her as she walked up even closer to the edge of the hill, and continued to look into the distance with amazement. She then turned around and signaled you to come on, waiting to share this moment with you. You obliged and got out of the car, jogging towards her.

Now standing next to her, you looked out into the distance admiring all of the lights gleaming in the vast city of Seoul. It was still as beautiful as it was during your childhood. But as happy as you were to see it, Rosie looked like something was bothering her still.

“What’s on your mind honey?” you said softly.

As she looked out in the distance, her smile faded a little bit and her expression was replaced with gratitude. “Well, I-I don’t know what to say. This is the most beautiful view I’ve ever seen. Even though this night was supposed to be one of the worst ones of my life, you made it the best one. I haven’t had this much fun in, gosh… I don’t even know how long. All I can think of right now is, thank you. Thank you so much, I don’t know what I would ever do without you. And, oh yeah, and I guess this ice cream is kinda good too.”

She started giggling over the little joke she made, and tried to continue eating the ice cream from earlier. At that moment, it almost seemed like she had completely forgotten what had happened a couple hours prior.

All the snide comments, the betrayal, losing her friends, it was all becoming a mild loss for her now. At that moment she had realized how much she really needed someone like you in her life. Rosie continued to laugh so hard that tears were forming in the corners of her eyes.

You smiled back at her and said “You don’t have to thank me Rosie. You are my girlfriend after all. I would do anything for you. Like I said, I’m always one call away if you need me.” Rosie’s laughter slowly settled, and she walked over to you to give you a warm hug. “But I do have to thank you somehow.”

As Rosie pulled away from the hug, and gave you a soft kiss on your lips, you were suddenly lifted up to cloud nine. She had kissed you many times before, but this kiss felt extra special. It was a kiss of gratitude, love, and compassion rolled all into one.

You stood back from her, feeling stunned, and tried to cover the growing smile forming on your lips. Along with your cheeks turning red, like you had just received your first kiss. Rosie giggled even more and took the perfect opportunity to tease you.

“Honey are you really blushing?! I have kissed you so many times, how could you be blushing now?”

You retorted back, “Whaaatt, I can’t help it when the hottest woman in Seoul is practically kissing me. You can’t blame me ya know…”

“Yeah true… Haha! Naur naur, I'm just kidding.”

“Oh shut up! Don’t make me take back what I just said.”

“Oh yeah? You won’t. I dare you!”

As the both of you continued to bicker and giggle like longtime best friends, the night had gone by a little bit faster than the both of you had realized. About an hour later, you both realized you had left Hank in the car after he started barking and whining continuously. He wasn’t in danger or anything, you both knew he was probably getting lonely waiting for the both of you to finish talking to each other.

So as soon as you heard him barking, you stopped laughing and said, “Oh shoot! I better get Hank, I bet the poor guy is getting lonely in there.” You then quickly jogged back over to the car, and picked him up out of the car seat, bringing him to where Rosie was standing.

While the both of you, including Hank, were looking into the incredible night view of Seoul, a little lightbulb popped into your head and you had a great idea to finish off the night. You jumped up onto the hood of your car and leaned your whole body back onto it, trying to make yourself comfortable.

Rosie laughed, “What are you doing?” You looked back at her and said, “I’m looking up at the stars silly. Here you should come try it too. The stars are really nice at this time of night.” You patted the spot next to you, intending for her to lay there. She shrugged her shoulders and mumbled, “I guess it couldn’t hurt to do it once.”

Rosie then placed Hank down next to her spot, and climbed up onto the car to lay back and stargaze with you. Exactly like the reaction from some time ago seeing the lit up city, she looked up at the sky in awe, with her mouth slightly open in amazement.

The sky was aglow with a visible canopy of shimmering stars, and the constellations were perfectly aligned making the sky look even more magical. “Wow..” she mumbled, “You really do have all sorts of tricks up your sleeve huh.” You smiled, loving how she was enjoying the view as much as you were.

“Yeah I guess I do. Wait, look up there, it’s the big dipper!”

“Oh look there’s the little dipper too!” Rosie shouted back, pointing up at the sky.

As the both of you were looking up at the sky, savoring the moment for what it was worth, the moon became very visible as the clouds started to drift away from it. It was a full moon. Rosie thought it was a cute coincidence. The moon was full just like how complete her life felt with you being in it. She looked back over towards you, and said, “I love you y/n.” With the stars reflecting off her eyes, making her look even more ethereal. You smiled and turned your head over towards her, “I love you too Rosie.”

The both of you continued to lay in comfortable silence, as the cool summer breeze drifted through the air, and not a single sound could be heard for miles. Rosie knew that after tonight, her whole perspective of you had changed. Not in a bad way of course, but in an even lovelier way.

You had done everything you could to make her smile again, and she really appreciated it. Not many people would go that distance, but now she definitely knew you would. Even though she had lost some “friends” of hers tonight, she gained something more important. Her unconditional love for you. Thanks to you, this would be one of her favorite memories to be shared for years to come. The love you both have for each other would become even stronger. And when she got back home, she could brag to the girls how cool you were too ;)

[just-antithings]

i'm friends with an author for a piece of original fiction that has a fandom of it's own. the fandom is small enough that author-reader interaction still happens, but large enough for a medium-sized discord server that i help moderate. the work itself is categorized as paranormal mystery and leans into horror, is rated 18+, and has a lot of potentially triggering elements. so much so that the chapters get individual warnings. everyone who enters the server has read at least a few chapters and enjoyed them, so while we don't call ourselves a proshipper fandom (the author themselves dislike the term even though they technically fit the meaning), we allow "problematic" pairings to be discussed and shipped, as long as it happens inside the channels specifically for that stuff or is at least tw'ed and marked as spoiler so people who are uncomfortable with that can choose not to see it.

there is one mother-son duo in particular that has gotten the attention of a few people, including incest shippers. the characters are both horrible people and everyone agrees that consensual incest isn't the worst thing they'd have done, even if compared to their canon crimes (that include murder and cult leading). the pairing even has a whole channel dedicated to it inside the dead dove category, it has some fic and even fanart, so the shippers are fed and happy.

someone recently joined the server, and toggled on the dead dove channels. now, in the role-picking channel there is a warning that the dead dove channels might discuss "problematic pairings" which include all the stuff that would be unethical or illegal irl, but apparently that newcomer didn't read that and thought it would be just about the canon horror stuff and the canon toxic relatonships. when they went into the dead dove channels and noticed specifically some nsfw sketches of that one mother/son pairing drawn by one of the mods, they went ballistic, and went to the author's dms to tell them that such thing is not acceptable and they (the author) should not allow such people in the servers, specially as moderators. the author argued that there is a warning about that in the role-picking channel and they knew what they were getting into, ad the person admitted they didn't read the warning and left the server. we were all pretty meh about that, but whatever. days later, the author got a callout post (not on tumblr, but the in a local fanfiction social media-ish site where the writer's native language version of the work is posted). there were a few people on the poster's side, but everyone who was in the server was like. bitch. you opened the bag with the dead dove. what'd you expect?? they tried to report the work to the site, but the work is totally inside the site's guidelines and anything that might break the rules (that being, the nsfw art) only happened inside the server, so there was nothing the site could (or wanted to) do about that. the person was striked for wasting the site moderaton's time, and everyone just went about their day. that was an interesting week.

some people have way too much free time

[moonybemine]

WHO WANNA BE BESTIES‼️ i need someone to giggle over hp with. you HAVE to be a jkr hater tho bc i hate terfs and am agender(im just vibin tho all gendered terms i use by vibe alone)

MINORS DNI

i have some Opinions on a lot of things about hp and i have some fluctuating emotions on certain characters. i genuinely treat every hp character like barbies that i play with and put into Shenanigans and Situations.

i will reading bashing fics especially albus ones i hate the things he did but i on occasion have been known to enjoy a good albus fic including ones where he's less "we have to kill voldy!!" and more "you (platonically or romantically)Love someone, dont you Tom?" like that spongebob meme. i do not like sirius or remus bashing, it's always overly harsh and vilifies a man locked away in the harshest prison who's mental faculties have been horribly abused, and while The Prank was an incredibly stupid attempt of a prank due to the danger it put severus in and also remus i ultimately believe it would've never happened in the first place if albus and minerva properly chastised the marauders earlier for their treatment of snape. we also don't know when this happened in the timeline of the marauders, was it before or after snape and lily's falling out. in remus' case he's a man who's been treated as a monster his whole life who was allowed into hogwarts by albus who then used this BOY'S gratitude to make him go into enemy territory and spy on and try to recruit people to the other side of the war. not to mention that albus groomed them all to fight the boy he FAILED(ive got so many opinions on tom and albus) and then when remus who support network was either dead or imprisoned he was told he couldn't raise harry and was told to not contact him. albus did all he fucking could to make harry miserable and pliable so that he'd sacrifice himself to end a war like a pig to slaughter. ur telling me Great Albus Dumbledore defeater of grindelwald couldnt find a solution to the horcrux besides having him walk to his death not to mention that he could've probably figured out horcruxes decades earlier and tried collecting them and probably would've succeeded! also i hate that the whole marauders generation is completely wiped out jkr u nasty bitch!

my ultimate fav ships are nottpott and wolfstar. ive BEEN a wolfstar lover since i was literally a child. nottpott entered my life last year and proceeded to ruin me on drarry(and pretty much every other ship involving harry and someone else or theo and someone else) i used to hate dramione bc i was apart of a toxic forum back in the day but i have grown to enjoy it bc it usually goes hand in hand with nottpott. i am forever a fremione and a pansmione gurlie tho. i love a lot of marauders ships as well jegulus/jily/jegulily/wolfstar/marylily/dorlene/pandalily/rosekiller/etc

i will mention i have dipped my toe into tomarry. i have enjoyed quite a few fics with this pairing and while i have enjoyed mostly ones where they are both teens, i do not like or support ones where its oldie voldie and literal child harry. its a grey area with somethings with them because of a multitude of factors and it shifts from a fic to fic basis. im not one to judge overly harsh over liking ships but i will judge in cases of straight up pedophilia but it will mostly result in a block because im not a child that starts fights on the internet anymore. i also do not support bestiality or incest and i'm specifying these things in particular due to a intimate relationship with the harry potter ao3 tag i know what freaks and weirdos exist there. literally the only fuckin fandom thats got a UNIQUE BESTIALITY tag

anyways msg me if ur interested <3

[kitkatt0430]

so I had the 'what if Iris got car-wrecked into a visual novel' fic idea, but.......

There's also the 'reincarnated as the villainess' sub genre there and just. Caitlin. She's a medical student who is very much suffering from burn out and has been trying to stave it off by obsessing over this otome game where the main character is this really adorable girl called Iris West and of course there's the usual four guys with a fifth hidden route and Caitlin has played three routes so far. Ronnie/Iris, Eddie/Iris, and Cisco/Iris... and she knows there's also Julian/Iris and the final 'true' path of Barry/Iris, which only unlocks when all four base paths are completed.

But then Caitlin (if that was really her name in the RL, usually they're original lives go nameless in this genre) gets hit by a car and dies. On Earth. In the world of An Iris for the Heroes, Killer Frost wakes up after a pre-game fight with the Flash where she hit her head and barely got away... and remembers being Caitlin Snow.

It's a super hero/high school AU with secret identities and so no one knows that mild mannered Barry Allen is the brash hero the Flash, who has a particular soft spot for his childhood friend and reporter for the school newspaper, Iris West. Caitlin Snow, whose identity as Killer Frost was also a secret until the end of some of the routes where she's either arrested or killed, was the villain. A school bully towards Iris by day and pain in the ass for the Flash and Vibe and toxic friend for Alchemy by night. She features little in the Cobalt Blue path and is a love rival in the FIRESTORM path - though Caitlin only knows some of the details.

She also knows now that Caitlin Snow of the An Iris for Heroes world had an abusive home life until her powers manifested and accidentally killed her parents. She decided that must make her a horrible person, which was why Killer Frost chose to become a villain. Feeling like her parents deaths at her hands, no matter how they treated her, made her irredeemable. But now this new personality is in charge and she had a relatively stable, if somewhat neglected, home life and she doesn't think being a villainess is all she deserves. She wants to survive, become a doctor, and save lives in turn.

So obviously the first life she has to save is her own. She's living on her own, the previous version of her having already been emancipated from her Aunt over the summer. And so she would be starting as a new student at the same school as the rest of the main cast from the game in a week. Which gives her some time to write down all the events she remembers either from playing the game itself or from reading spoilers online.

She stops going out as Killer Frost, but learns that if she doesn't use her powers once a day, she suffers side effects. Once school starts, Caitlin figures that all she needs to do is not team up with Alchemy - Julian - and not bully Iris and she'll be golden. Unless this really is a game world and it might be harder.

She winds up paired as lab partners with Julian and does find she likes him but quickly notes that he, uh... likes her more than she likes him. Thankfully she also meets Cisco and they become fast friends and it's very definitely a platonic besties deal. Except Cisco is also besties with Barry and Caitlin is wary 'cause... the Flash. But also the closer she gets to Iris' circle the more she worries about some kind of fate shoving her into the villainess role no matter what she does.

Except Barry's kinda cool and fun and Caitlin winds up friends with him anyway. And then she meets Iris and Iris is every bit as cool as Caitlin remembers her being from the game. Truth was, Caitlin liked to imagine she was the one Iris was romancing every time she played the game and now... but of course, Iris is clearly straight. Having five male love interests and no flirtations with the ladies makes that pretty clear. The only real F/F ship in the fandom was Iris/Linda and, in universe, Iris sets her best friend Linda up with her younger brother Wally.

Except, one night, in her new 'definitely not Killer Frost' outfit, working out some of her ice power build up from the day, Caitlin kinda... rescues the Flash from Alchemy. He shouldn't need her help, but then in the game this fight was Flash vs Killer Frost and Alchemy and he managed to win by causing Killer Frost to accidentally freeze Alchemy and she had to run off to safely defrost him. Just Alchemy vs the Flash, however, allowed Alchemy to really let loose and the Flash is knocked out and almost unmasked. Caitlin manages to scare Alchemy off and then freaks out because she doesn't know where to take Barry for safety. In her panic, the only place Caitlin can think of is... Iris West's home.

I'm thinking this would be... Snowestallen + Cisco/Ronnie + Wallinda + Julian/Hartley (who was, of course, a minor antagonist in the game for Vibe's path) + some overarching villain that is probably Eobard since Barry's path is the 'true path' from the game

[inevitablemoment]

“say something.”

Word Count: 695

Warnings: Stillbirth/miscarriage (at 24 week gestation), starvation, eating disorder not otherwise specified, toxic family, body image struggles, marital estrangement

Fandom: Bright Lights, Big City

Pairings: Jamie Conway x Vicky Allagash

It feels good to slip back into this fandom after almost a year. I love this movie so much, and it deserves more love. This is actually a snippet from a future fic of mine, Brighter Than The Stars, following Jamie and Vicky’s journey to parenthood. As evidenced here, it’s not an easy road, but they will get there.

I recommend listening to “The First Cut Is The Deepest” by Sheryl Crow while reading this.

Enjoy!

————————

At first, Vicky thought that it would be a relief to finally be home. Now, she just wished that she was back in that damn hospital.

She still looked pregnant. Anyone who passed her by on the streets probably would place her at four months... if she had left the house at all. Hell, she hadn’t even left her bedroom.

Her stomach kept cramping up, sending her back to that horrible early morning with more effect than any time machine could have.

But sometimes, it was replaced by the hollowness of hunger. The kind of hunger that one would have from not eating anything in days.

Whenever Jamie tried to bring her food, she would only eat a few pieces unless he prodded her to eat more.

Any time she tried to sleep, she would either be greeted by a more macabre sight than what she had woken up to, or dream that she had miraculously given birth to a full-term baby that was waiting for her in the room across from hers.

And even though she asked Jamie to make sure that everyone knew to just let them grieve alone, Vicky's sisters and Irene had come on a so-called "condolence call."

While Phillipa’s attempts at consoling her were the most human that Vicky had ever remembered her eldest sister being, Leslie kept asking questions that a woman of her age (not to mention married with children of her own) should have known better than to ask, as well as lobbing passive aggressive remarks towards Jamie.

And her mother... well, Irene was still Irene.

Distant. Uncaring. Truly did not give a shit.

Vicky lifted her head from her pillow when she heard the door opening, seeing Jamie walk in.

He looked just as exhausted as she did, she realized.

Guilt curdled up in her empty belly as she thought, And because of me.

She turned away in shame. Despite the fact that she couldn’t keep their daughter alive in her womb, he was still worried about her and taking care of her.

Jamie carefully approached the bed, taking the hand that bore her wedding rings into both of his hands.

“Hey, Dottie,” he whispered.

The warmth of his hands over hers and the tenderness in his voice threatened to make tears well up in her eyes.

“Please... say something...” Jamie begged quietly. “You haven’t said a word all day.”

Vicky dared to look up at him. She opened her mouth to speak, but her voice sounded a little raspy from both not being used and from crying.

“I’m... I’m fine,” she said.

Liar.

"How's your stomach feeling?" Jamie asked.

“Fine,” she repeated, cringing at how she sounded like a broken record.

And then, she cringed again when she saw that her husband didn’t believe her.

"Come on, Vicky, you have to eat something," Jamie begged. "I can hear your stomach growling from the next room."

Vicky could feel another hunger pang coming, but she ignored it.

"I just... I don't feel like eating anything," she mumbled, despite the very obvious rumblings of her belly. “Just... please... I don’t wanna be alone right now.”

“Neither do I,” he admitted.

As he climbed to bed next to her, she turned onto her other side, wincing at moving so suddenly. Jamie's hands wandered over her belly, beginning to massage at the skin that was still stretched out from twenty-four weeks of pregnancy.

Vicky tensed up.

She knew that he was just trying to relieve the empty, hollow ache that came with an empty belly, but she wondered if he was hoping that he would somehow feel a kick, like she often did over the last week.

She flinched away from his touch and wrapped her arms around her stomach as if to protect herself.

“I don’t... I don’t want to really be touched right now,” she told him.

She could feel him withdrawing his hands away.

“Okay,” he acquiesced. “I... I understand.”

He sounded... hurt.

And scared.

Instead of their usual spooning cuddle, they fell asleep on opposite sides of the bed that night... the both of them hoping that they wouldn’t let it turn into a habit.

[axwalker]

CREEP 4: I wish I was special

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC  (Lexie O’Brien) Book TRR

MASTERLIST

Synopsis: Drake is a hurt, angry teenager. After being rejected by Lexie, he spends two years bullying her until he discovers the horrible truth behind her rejection.

In this chapter: Lexie and Drake spend a lot of time together. I’ve have to be honest this is a filler chapter with a bit a lot of smut 🤷🏽‍♀️

A/N: Drake’s and Lexie’s POV. 

Words: 4,470

WARNINGS: SMUT! Parental abuse, domestic violence, toxic love, abuse, bullying.

THIS IS NOT YOUR USUAL MARSHMALLOW DRAKE. He was abandoned as a boy, he’s tortured and he doesn’t know how to express love.

This is a dark love story. If you think this might trigger you, PLEASE do not read it.  

ALL MY FICS ARE 18+

TAGS ON THE COMMENTS –As this is darker than usual; I’m only tagging the people who commented in the previous chapters. If you want to get on or off the list for this fic; please do not hesitate to ask!!

Drake 

I can’t believe I’m here. I can’t believe I’m holding Lexie in my arms, and this is happening. 

Damn. She tastes even better than I imagined. Soft lips, the flavor of cherries and mint and something singularly Lexie. So, fucking sweet. Her innocent tongue is hesitant at first to play with mine, making her surrender even more satisfying. She’s been the center of my world for years. She’s everything I crave, and I didn’t know how to handle the rejection of the only person who matters to me. I know that’s not an excuse; I know that I don’t fucking deserve her. Hell, if I were a better man, a man that wasn’t starving for her, I’d live her alone.  

She makes me stumble into the bed- when her thighs tighten around me, and she allows me inside her perfect little mouth with hot strokes of my tongue, my hands aching over the softness of her hair, her cheeks, absorbing her unique textures with my palms. 

Get yourself out of my system. My heart has just awakened again, and it breaks painfully; when I think about her words, I make a pitiful sound into the kiss. Ah God. The best night of my life could be the night Lexie cuts me off for good, and I don’t know how to stop it from happening. She’s attracted to me, but I’ve hurt her too badly to contemplate a future. A man with more self-control, maybe an older one, might stop this now. Demand to talk, to explain to her I’ve loved her for so long and so fucking deep that I can’t see straight. That I let my insecurity act on my name. But right now, I can do nothing but soak up every inch, take as much as I can before she wants me gone. I let her mouth go momentarily, kissing down her jawline to her neck, trying to memorize exactly how she smells, how she tastes in every single part of her. How she sounds when she moans brokenly when she shifts her pussy against my lap. Then does it again. 

“Feels good,” she whispers, her voice barely loud enough to hear above the storm. “Drake.” 

I want to give her a first time she’ll think about every hour for the rest of her life, but I’m… I’m quickly recognizing my inexperience. I’m not as practiced at sex as she thinks. Only one girl before I met her. After seeing those deep brown eyes, no one else would do it for me. But I have been fucking starving for it for years. With this girl. So when she rubs against my cock and whispers, “feels good,” I almost come against in my jeans. 

I have to force myself not to grip her butt cheeks and grind her down while I thrust up, giving myself enough friction to finish. Christ, don’t finish. Please. I’ve been blessed with an opportunity I don’t deserve. A night with Lexie. A chance to make her first time perfect—and that’s what I’m going to do, even if it kills me. 

A thunder rumbles in the sky outside as she makes urgent, breathy noises, her fingers grabbing my T-shirt. She strips it off over my head, her palms slowly brushing the shape of my chest up to my arms, leaning in to kiss the hollow of my throat, the underside of my chin. Heat burns me from the inside, growing hotter with every touch of those lips on my body—and no, no, no, I can never live without her. I’ll fade and die without her touch. Get into her system, not out of it. Get deeper. So deep she can’t take me out. As deep as she is inside me. I know she’ll never love me as I do her, but I need her anyway. With those directions clear and loud in the back of my head, I move toward the bed and drop down to my knees, gently laying Lexie on her back, kissing her incredible mouth while my fingers fumble with the button and zipper of her jeans. I’m touching Lexie’s pussy through denim, and again, I want her so fucking badly, I’m worried I’m going to ruin everything, but I grit my teeth and start to slide the jeans down her legs. As soon as the soft, soft flesh of her thighs is revealed, I tilt my face up and shut my eyes closed. God, oh God. 

“What’s wrong?” she whispers, lifting her hips so I can remove the pants. “You’re so beautiful; I’m trying not to come just looking at you,” I groan, tossing her jeans aside, taking several deep breaths to get myself under control, before giving in to the overwhelming temptation to see Lexie in panties. No amount of imagination could have done her justice. The shy inward turn of her left knee, the light blue panties that rapidly become see-through, thanks to how wet she is. The slit of her sex. My senses are overloaded, my breathing uneven.

Then she blushes and bites her lip, and I understand that she’s as nervous as I am. Probably more. Fuck, this is not about me. This is about the beautiful, sweet girl underneath me. I take a moment to look at her face; her eyes are shining, her cheeks pink, her mouth is swollen from being kissed. I’m an eighteen-year-old man who –for three years, has only climaxed from jerking off, and because of that, my instinct now is to take my cock out and come all over the goddess in front of me. I’ll come so hard. All over her. But this is more than sex. I’m being allowed sex with the girl of my dreams. My dick is in disbelief, painfully hard and dripping with pre-come in my boxers, begging to come inside of her, instead of out. And Lexie…her eyes are locked on it in wonder, lips in an O shape. I’m going to be looking at that beautiful face when she takes my cock inside of her, feeling me move, stealing her innocence. Jesus. How am I going to last? 

“Lexie,” I groan through my teeth, trying to explain with that single word how fucking horny she makes me. She’s still staring at the bulge in my jeans. 

“Am I…should I…” I’ve never heard her with that husky tone of voice before. “Does it go in my mouth first?” 

I shudder so hard, my jaw almost breaks. “Christ, don’t say that, baby. Fuck.” I’m a beast right now, ripping down my zipper and shoving my hand inside, beating off the raw length of my dick, my eyes traveling from her face, to her tits, to her pussy. Then circling back and starting at the beginning,  telling her how fucking gorgeous she is. A fucking goddess. And Lexie seems to sense my desperation and overcome her shyness because she takes down her panties and kicks them away, baring herself to me. Ironically, when I should ultimately explode because the vision she creates is such perfection, I’m determined with purpose instead. With responsibility. As soon as her pussy is out, all I can think about is tasting it, giving her an orgasm and my own sexual pain takes an immediate back seat, my jerking hand slowing in the lap of my jeans. The sight of Lexie’s body hypnotizes me. 

“Can I touch you?” She nods shyly but eagerly, holding her breath. I hold mine, too, my palms gently grazing up her inner thighs and pushing them apart, spreading the pink slit between her legs, revealing the secrets I need to learn or I’ll die unsatisfied. “Tell me when I do something that feels good.” 

Slowly, I trace a thumb down the split of her pussy and her back arches, her gasp is the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. “There,” I say in a rush, finally exhaling, tracing the edges of the nub that made her eyes roll back in her head. “Can I lick you here, baby?” Her hands fly to the mattress, fingers digging into the blanket. 

“Yes.” 

Fuck. I get to give her head. I’m down on my stomach in a heartbeat, rubbing my nose through her slick folds, inhaling Lexie, something peachy, gently dragging my tongue side to side over that little button. The sight of it makes my cock pound, my tongue licking toward it automatically, on reflex…and Lexie loses her fucking mind. A sexy sound fills my ears, her fingers sinking into my hair, pulling me closer. It’s like winning a gold medal at the Olympics. Knowing I found the exact spot that could get that reaction out of my girl has almost made me come right then. My tongue is worshipping her until I’m devouring her, doubting between French kissing her wet little pussy and teasing that perfect spot, her cries making the sweetest music in my ears. 

“Drake. Drake. Don’t stop. Don’t. Please, please, please.”

 When she comes, I swear to God, the taste of her is so sweet, so incredible, I go a little insane.

“I-I’m ready, Drake. Please.”

Despite how fucking bad I want her, I must make sure she wants this. I take a deep breath to calm my fucking dick, then I bend down to kiss her cute little nose and ask her, “Are you sure about this?”

She nods “Yes. God, yes.” 

“I don’t have a condom. I don’t—” 

“I’m on the pill. I went to the doctor myself to regulate my periods. Are you --uhm clean?” 

I’ve only been with one girl three years ago, and we were safe. “I am.” 

“Then I’m sure, Drake. Please, I want you so badly.” 

With a choked sound, I take hold of my cock and press it to her center, my life flashing in front of my eyes when I slide in a single inch and her wet pussy clenches around me like a fist. “Oh. Fuck.” I drop my face into her neck, raking my teeth against it, my hips burning with the need to thrust. Claim. Pound her into the ground.

“Are you okay, baby?” Fuck, her eyes are shut, a painful expression in her innocent face.

“I just need a moment, Drake.”

“I’ll give you anything you need, baby.” I don’t need to think about anything to distract myself. The mere fact of knowing she’s hurting is more than enough to sober me up. I cage her head in my arms and kiss her softly. I look her in the eyes, and there’s something in her eyes I’ve never seen before. Trust. 

 “I lied to you, Lexie. I’ve only been with one person like this. But that was before you. Since then, I’ve never wanted to touch anyone but you. Never been hard for anything but this…” I feel her adjusting to me, so I force in another inch. It feels better than I could’ve ever imagined. “This sweet little pussy.” I search Lexie’s flushed face and find her looking at me in wonder, surprise. 

“You…waited for me.” she whispers. 

My nod is jerky, teeth clenched. “You really haven’t figured it out yet? You can’t tell I’m obsessed with you?” I drop hard kisses all over her face, her hair, her neck. “You can’t tell I would murder, lie and steal just to have you look at me?” Her breath comes in tight pants, brown eyes glazed. 

 “I need more. You’ve been hiding from me for two years, acting like someone else. But this…this is honest. I-I want to feel it.” 

“Soon. Soon. Just let me get myself under control.” 

“Please, Drake.” Her expression is enthralled, imploring. “Fall apart.” 

I “Lexie, please. I don’t want to hurt you, baby. I want to make it perfect for you.” 

She gives me one of those smiles I craved so much, and catching her bottom lip between her teeth, she reaches down and sinks her fingernails into my ass, yanking me close and impaling herself on my rigid cock. Fuck, I want to be gentle with her, I need to but damn if she’s not making it difficult. I bury myself to the hilt, and she gasps 

 “Hurts,” she says. “You’re too big. It’s too big.” 

“What?” I struggle for awareness, my eyes unfocused as I search her face. 

“Too big…” “It hurts.” Horror hits me. I’m hurting Lexie. My Lexie. Fuck no. “No, I’ll stop.” 

“No.” She tightens her legs around my hips. “Just go slow.” 

I kiss her front. “I’ll go as slow as you need me to.” My eyes focus on her pretty face. She’s so perfectly delicate. “You’re sure, baby?”

“Yes.” She kisses my mouth to reassure me, and I groan, melting at her touch, gently rolling in and out of her. It’s a painful effort to keep the slow pace, but I want her to enjoy this. I stop for a few seconds, and I search her face. If she’s still in pain, I’ll pull out of her no matter what she says. But her lips are parted, and she seems to be getting there with me, so I continue to thrust, rhythmic and measured, our eyes hot on one another.  Her tight little pussy is making me insane. 

 “You’ve been driving me crazy,” I growl, kissing her neck. “The smell of you in class. The shape of your neck and hips and that perfect hair moving in front of me. Perfect, so perfect, so mine. And you wouldn’t even give me your eyes. It broke me. But you’ve always been mine, no matter what, huh? Nothing can change that.” I lick her neck, her throat, her mouth. I move a little faster and she cries of pleasure. “Be mine, Lexie.” 

I put my hand between us and touched her at the same spot I did when I kissed her sex. Her reaction is immediate. 

“Oh god, Drake. Just there. This is—God.”

She cries one last time, and I can feel her pleasure squeezing my cock as she comes.

An invisible string is cut when I’m finally down the other side of my peak, my heaving body collapsing on top of Lexie’s. “Lexie?” I kiss her forehead, her cheeks. “I’m… God. Are you okay?” 

Her nod gets my blood running again. 

“It finally happened,” I say, almost hoping she didn’t hear me.

“What did?”

“My fantasy came true.”

The smile she gives me is almost shy. And somehow, that’s the best part of our perfect night. 

 Lexie 

Over the years, my mother’s voice has started to fade from my head, but I can remember her saying, “Santo Dios,” when something interested her. Or made her sit up and take notice. And watching the muscles of Drake’s back move in the darkness, I mouth those words to myself. Santo Dios. After we… After what happened … I don’t know what to call what we did. I’m scared to call it “making love.” “Sex” sounds too shallow for something so intense. “Fucking” sounds too crude, too impersonal, when what passed between us couldn’t have been more personal. 

All this time, I pictured Drake meeting girls on the weekends, forgetting all about me in a quest for momentary bliss. But that wasn’t the case at all. He’s been…he waited. He waited for me. When making that confession, the raw honesty in his eyes left absolutely no doubt that he…feels something for me. Quite a lot, if I can believe what a man says in the heat of the moment. None of what Drake said felt like bullshit, though. Or a man telling a woman what she wants to hear. It was as if he’d been holding it in and pleasure broke the dam of secrets, making his walls collapsed all around me.  Leaving me with the ruins of all this new knowledge. 

I sit on the back porch of the cabin, arms wrapped around my knees, watching Drake connect the generator so we can have light. Thanks to the storm, the electricity isn’t working. Now, shirtless, he works on his knees in front of the machine, a frown of focus between his dark brows. Every minute or so, he stops working to glance over at me, his throat bobbing, his eyes watchful and hungry, the outline of his erection back to pressing against the front of his jeans. My newfound feminine vibrates, demands attention. I was too tired to put my pants back on, so I’m dressed in panties and a T-shirt. My lack of clothing feels forbidden, as does being alone at a cabin with a boy. For the whole night. And I don’t know what to do about the desire he’s fueled inside of me. I don’t know what to do with the excitement of knowing we’re both new –or almost, at exploring the bodies of the opposite sex…and all the ways we could do it now. Inside the cabin. Alone. No one to hear us, judge us, see us. No getting in trouble. Nothing holding us back. Except for what he did to me for two bitterly long years. Except for the fact that I need to get far away from here, from my father, and it won’t do me any  good to get attached to this magnetic boy.

There can only be one night. I need to make a fresh start. I need to cut myself clean off from everything that has made me feel sad and broken in the past—and whether my heart likes it or not, Drake Walker is one of those things. 

He’s looking at me right now like he knows exactly what I’m thinking. And it’s that kind of intuition he seems to have about me that is going to get me into trouble. Going to make me second-guess my determination to leave him here along with everyone and everything else I’ve grown up with. 

Drake sets down the tool in his hand and flips a switch, lighting up the porch. “Looks like it’s working.” 

“Yeah.” 

He sends me a tight smile. “They don’t call me a handyman for nothing.” It occurs to me in that moment that I don’t know a lot about Drake’s private life. I know he lives in a trailer on the other side of town. And the horrible story he told me about his family, but not much more. 

 I want to escape this place. Does he? “Are you…planning on hanging around Portavira after graduation?” 

His movements pause ever so slightly, but I catch it. “Hadn’t thought too much about it.” 

“Really?” 

“No,” he sighs. “That’s a lie.” Kneeling in front of the toolbox, his jaw tightens, his gaze eventually making its way back to me. “And I don’t want to lie to you anymore, Lexie.” 

“Then don’t,” I say quickly, holding my breath. 

“I know you want to go to college and make something of yourself, but that -that’s not an option for me. I’m just going to stay here trying to fix this old house and honor my dad’s memory.”

He evades my gaze, and the reason why is painfully obvious. “You have nothing, nothing to be ashamed about, Drake. What you’re doing with this cabin is amazing; if this is what you want to do, you should”.

Even in the muted moonlight, I can see the reddening of his cheekbones. “Believe me, for the rest of my life, I’m going to hate myself for how I treated you. I thought…” 

“What?” 

He shakes his head, but answers anyway. “That night at your house, I thought when you found out I what I did for a living, that I was there to repair your roof…you remembered I wasn’t good enough for you. That you looked down on me. I thought you were ignoring me all this time because you regretted everything that happened, everything you said. You had a momentary lapse of judgement and went back onto your pedestal, out of reach of my filthy hands. It hurt to think I disgusted you. It hurt and I took it out on you.” At the end of his explanation, my mouth is hanging open. No wonder he was so mad, lashing out all the time. He thought I was ignoring him because I thought myself better. Above him. For a prideful person like Drake, being ignored because of his status would have stung worse than anything else. 

“Why are you only telling me this now?” 

“Because it sounds like an excuse—and I’m not making one. Ever.” 

“I didn’t think I was better than you. I missed you.” That strong chest of his starts to rise and fall quickly, his gaze penetrating me through the darkness. “I know that sounds silly. It was just one night.” 

“No. I missed you, too.” He takes a step in my direction. “Still do.” His eyes close and he releases a bumpy breath. “Brutally, baby. I’ve never stopped wanting—fuck-craving you like a madman. It just killed me to see how you were so gentle and kind to everyone but me. Even before I started -bullying you.” 

Nerve tingle everywhere on my body, the need to touch and be touched by Drake increasing the temperature of my skin rapidly, making my breasts feel full, my legs weak. I’ve never tried drugs, but I understand now what addiction must be like. Fighting a pull, battling a self-destructive urge, promises an incredible high before the inevitable downward spiral. If I give him the slightest encouragement, he’s going to bring me inside and…be with me again. 

Is that what I want? Yes. 

Will giving in to my physical urges make it much harder when I have to leave town for good? Yes. Yes. 

There isn’t anything casual about Drake and me. And how can I begin to rebuild my pride, my life, if my first act of independence is giving my body to the person who made me cry so many times since sophomore year, I’ve lost count? I search for a way to change the subject. To take the focus off the connection dragging us back together. 

“Well.” I dampen my lips. “I don’t think I’ll go to college anymore. My father hid all my acceptance letters. He was never really going to let me go.” I intertwine my fingers together and tighten them until they leach of color. “Tonight, was the first time I ever spoke back to him. I was just so angry.” Several beats pass. 

“Of course, you were.” He drops down onto the back porch, a couple of feet to my right, staring out into the trees. “Hell, Lexie. I’m sorry he did that.” 

I nod. “I did a lot of thinking on the back of your bike. It’s good for that. Thinking. Isn’t it?” 

“Yeah. When you don’t want to think… it’s good for that, too.” 

“Hmm.” 

He looks over at me; hands clasped loosely between his bent knees. “What did you think about?” 

“College. How to salvage the original plan.” I feel kind of jumpy, sharing my ideas with Drake, with anyone, I’ve kept things to myself for so long, not confiding in my classmates, not getting close to others, lest my father find a way to blacken the connection. To make people sorry for interacting with me. “I was thinking…maybe I could go and see the school guidance counselor. I need all my transcripts to apply to college here in Cordonia. Once I do that, things might get easier. There has to be a way to make it work. Even if it is a little late to apply.” 

Drake nods, frowning like he’s giving my plan some serious thought. “It’s not safe for you to go back to the school, Lexie. I’ll go. I’ll do whatever you need. Pick up your transcripts or anything else. We can find a library around here to fill out the applications online…” My heart thumps heavily. All that time spent with him, getting deeper and deeper. It wouldn’t be wise. “You don’t have to do all of that.” 

“I want to.” 

His eyes are hopeful. I shouldn’t allow that hope. Nor should I rely on him for things I need to do myself. Things that will be required to take control of my life. “It’s not safe for you at the school, either. What if my father presses assault charges?” As soon as I ask the question, I shake my head. “Never mind. He’d never do that. People would know you bested him. They’d know what he did to me, too—and he’d never, never allow that. There’s nothing more important to him than his reputation.” 

“So I’ll go to the school for you?” he asks, quietly, almost too casually, but I can see the tension in his shoulders, the set of his jaw. It’s not a simple question. If I say yes to this favor, it means our…relationship will extend beyond one night. To include tomorrow—Sunday—plus Monday morning, before the school opens. It adds time to the us I know he still wants. Do I have a choice, though? My father could be there waiting for me, and that terrifies me more than my feelings for Drake do. What he’s willing to do could help me tremendously. Could start me on the path to a new beginning. “Yes,” I whisper. “You’ll go.” 

Drake swallows loudly, his eyelids closing. When he opens his eyes again, his gaze traces my bare thighs hungrily. We have until Monday now. What are we going to do with all that time? That question hangs in the air, unspoken, but louder than a shout. I can almost feel the binds tightening us together, strengthening until they become impossible to snap. And it scares me, but I need him too, even if it’s for a few days. Always loved being scared, electrified, by beautiful things, and bare-chested in the moonlight, Drake is by far the most beautiful of all. 

“Lexie…” he breathes, swallowing loudly. “I want to taste you again?” Heat envelops me, invades me. I’ve always worried I need to touch myself too often. That I have a more pronounced sexual appetite than I’m supposed to have at my age. But as Drake kneels on the lower stair in front of me and separates my thighs, kissing a path toward my apex, I know he’s the reason. Drake is the reason I’ve been riding the heel of my hand, crying frustration into my pillow, night after night after night. He’s the one that inspires the excruciating arousal—and I don’t have a shot in hell of saying no to him. Not when it comes to being physical. I just have to remember to say no to anything more. Anything beyond this. “Yes…” I lean back on my elbows. “Do it.” 

He does, and we spend the next hours lost on each other. 

[kinsurou]

Hello guys! This is my first contribution to the Haikyuu HQ Server Collabs! It's so exciting to be part of this project alongside so many wonderful creators! We were asked to create a fic/art with the following prompt: "I wonder what he'd do if he knew you were with me right now." (Pronouns may vary).

I want to thank everyone in the HQHQ Server who helped me out with this fic. You guys are such amazing friends and I love every single one of you!

Click here to check out the Collab Masterlist!

Word Count: 5.1K

Pairings: Suna Rintarou x Reader

Beta Reader: @kuroos-babygirl

Warnings: Smut (+18), Dubcon (Reader doesn't give verbal consent.) Coercion, Toxic Parental Figures, Use of weed, Alcohol, Unprotected sex, Corruption.

A sharp, unfaltering gaze followed your every move all the way back from the other side of the room. From the small fidgeting whenever anyone looked in your direction, to the way you would sip awkwardly at the red cup clasped between your hands, and the scrunch of distaste adorning your features because of the strong, bitter flavor of the drink.

But what else could you do when you’re surrounded by literal strangers, and the only person that can be considered your only friend was currently too busy straddling a guy’s lap, making out to her heart’s content and grinding against his lap...while they’re both sitting in front of you.

It was so awkward...and yet it was nearly impossible to look away from the two of them. The way her hips rocked against his lap as she pulled on his gray locks, or his veiny hands taking a firm hold of her hips. Watching her going at it with this guy was too much to handle.

Why did you let her drag you into this party to begin with? If your parents find out you snuck out of the house, they’ll kill you.

...Your parents.

That thought is quickly forgotten. Right now you just want to have another drink and drown the worries away. Standing up from the cushion, you quickly begin walking towards the kitchen, leaving behind the security of the couch as well as your occupied friend. 

To your relief, the kitchen isn’t as crowded as the rest of the house, where other people were just talking, some of them doing keg stands or playing drinking games. There’s even some of them laying around the floor or leaning against the walls, completely knocked out by the amount of alcohol they consumed.

Finally, you come across a mess of beer bottles and red cups all over the countertop, some of them thrown around carelessly, others are full with the alcohol you were desperately looking for. Rather than going back to your seat, you stay in the empty room, leaning back against the marble and taking a swig of a new cup, once again drinking in silence while swaying slightly to the beat of the music. Too distracted to realize someone else just walked in until their footsteps come relatively closer, stopping less than a few feet away from you.

“Isn’t it past midnight already, Cinderella?” 

You jolt in surprise, nearly crushing the cup with a tight grip until you recognize that voice and that cursed nickname. There’s only one person on campus who calls you that face to face. Frowning slightly as you look at the culprit, you come face to face with a pair of nonchalant, dark yellow eyes that are always looking out for other’ weak spots despite their absent facade.

“Stop calling me that, Suna.” You turn away from him, hoping that he’ll get the hint and walk away, but that heavy, piercing gaze never leaves your body. Instead, he just walked closer before stopping in front of you. He starts leaning forwards, that bored look on his face doesn’t change in the slightest while he traps you between the marble countertop and his broad torso. “G-Go away…”

But he just continues staring at you, not another word comes out of his lips before his face approaches yours. Cheeks brushing past each other’s so faintly that the touch almost goes unnoticed. When his warm breath brushes against the uncovered skin of your shoulders, you finally realize just how close he’s standing. But either he doesn’t notice or he just doesn’t care about the proximity, or the effects it has on your body. Such as the clenching between your thighs or the small hitch in your breathing.

It only lasted for a minute, and yet it feels like an eternity when he finally takes a step back, holding one of those familiar cups in hand. Both relief and disappointment radiate off your body when he finally takes a step back, but judging from the way he looks at you with a small glint in his eyes, Suna is perfectly aware of what he’s provoking.

“Disappointed much?” God, you wanted to smack that smirk off his face so badly. This is exactly why you try to avoid him in college as much as possible.

...As well as other reasons.

“You’re so easy to read that it’s not even a challenge.” The eye contact is never broken as he leans back against the sink, taking a sip of his own cup so nonchalantly. It was like he didn’t corner you in the first place. But you know better that Suna Rintarou never does anything by mere coincidence. “What are you doing here in the first place? I thought Cinderella wasn’t allowed to go to the party.”

“Yeah, well…” You don’t look at him as you answer. The less eye contact you could make with him, the better “She still attended, didn’t she?”

He chuckled quietly from his spot. It was such a low noise, barely audible despite standing so close to him. And yet something about it was just so captivating. You’ve never heard his laughter before, so this was definitely something new.

“No wonder everyone’s talking about you right now.” With those words, you fell right into his trap just like a butterfly on a spiderweb. Quickly turning around to find yourself into the same position as before. Trapped between marble and his warmth. This time he stood even closer than before, so close that you could smell an all too familiar scent that saturated every fiber of his clothes.

“It was too good to be true. The principal’s daughter coming to a party? Had to see with my own eyes.” He leans forwards again. The overwhelming proximity makes your heart beat rapidly against your chest with such strength, it’s a miracle Suna hasn’t said anything about it when he presses his own chest against yours. Or maybe he did notice, if the way he looks at your cleavage is any indicator.

“You’re so nervous, it feels like I’m looking at a little rabbit.” His fingers start playing with the hem of your blouse, brushing faintly against your hips. Every inch of your skin trembles by his touch. A part of your head tells you this is a bad idea, that you need to walk away and leave right this instant. But your body says otherwise, staying firm in place.

“N-No.” Your gaze is averted, focused on anything else but the man standing in front of you. “Please, I just want to leave...”

“Do you? Or maybe you’re just afraid.” Something brushes softly against the shell of your ear, it takes you a full minute to realize that feeling belongs to his lips, nibbling teasingly while his hands make their way up your back, fiddling with the clips of your bra. But he just keeps tugging at them playfully, not really set on taking off your clothes….at least not yet.

“Afraid of what your parents would say. Think nobody knows how they treat you?” his hands finally stop, just to delve down until they’re resting over your lower back. “You’re such a good girl who never causes trouble...it’s too good to be true if you ask me.”

He pulled your hips closer towards him, slipping one leg between your trembling legs. A sly smirk grew on his face once he began grinding his knee against your core, sweet friction drew out one of the sweetest, high-pitched gasps from you. A noise so sweet, dirty and addictive that he needed to hear more of them. So when you looked at him in the eye, Suna could barely control himself. “Don’t you want to let loose for once? Do you want to be my dirty little girl?”

“Suna, I…” He didn’t wait for an answer, capturing your silky lips into a fervent kiss, swallowing every single whimper you gave whenever that knee brushed lazily against your core. Everything he did quickly overwhelmed your body, triggering a chain of breath-taking sensations. Like the fluttering at the pit of your stomach, the uncontrollable shivers prickling your skin, and the waves of heat radiating off your face. Frankly, you wanted more of it.

...But just thinking about your parent’s reactions was enough to feel terrified. The constant pressure and beliting over the smallest things. Not getting a perfect score in all the exams? Lazy and irresponsible. Wearing something they deemed inappropriate? Attention seeker. You could still remember the one time you ran into Suna while he was smoking, the smell of his cigarette had tainted your clothes that day, but neither of your parents believed the claims of innocence, calling you such horrible things that the mere reminder could be enough to make anyone suffer a meltdown.

Having one of the harshest teachers as well as the principal themselves as your parents was a nightmare nobody would wish upon their worst enemy.

You mustered enough courage to place both hands on his chest, slightly pushing him away while trying so hard not to try and feel the chiseled muscles hidden underneath the black fabric of his shirt.

“Stop. They’ll kill me if they find out.”

“They don’t have to know.”

“But I don’t want to get in trouble again.”

“You’re already in trouble just being here, Cinderella.”

It was true. And you hated how true that statement was, sooner or later your father would find out and it would be chaos...but that didn’t do much to soothe that painful sensation at the pit of your stomach, slowly feeding off the sheer horror you felt at the idea of their constant beliting.

The trembling of your body didn’t go unnoticed by the guy standing between your legs. 

“Hey, you’re already in trouble...So let me help you relax, what do you say, Cinderella?” He kissed your jaw softly, lingering in place as he inhaled the soft scent of perfume. “Don’t you want to feel good for once? I know you’ll enjoy it.”

But he was only met with silence, neither were you looking at him again, instead your eyes stayed focused on the sink overflowing with empty bottles of liquor. Suna just huffed, pulling his hands back before he began stepping back, ready to go back to the living room with a sour mood, but that quickly vanished when he felt the tight clutch at the corner of his shirt.

With an eyebrow raised, he turned back to see you grabbing on his shirt, still avoiding his gaze as much as possible. But he could see it, the way your body said the contrary. You wanted this as much as he did, maybe even more. But the fear clouding your thoughts was making it hard to say anything.

And that gave Suna an idea.

“If you want this so bad, then I can give you a hand. What do you say Cinderella?” His fingers once again brushed against the uncovered skin of your shoulder. And when you made no move to stop his approaches, Suna knew he had won. “Good girl.”

He grabbed you softly by the wrist, determined to take things somewhere more private. Nobody seemed to pay attention anymore as you both walked across the halls. When he crossed the living room, Suna made eye contact with his silver haired friend, who was ever so busy with the girl sitting on his lap as she attacked his neck fervently. Both males just looked at each other and nodded silently before getting back to business. Osamu went back to making out with the girl, and Suna brought you along to one of the empty rooms.

The sound of a door being closed snapped you out of it. apart from the soft glow of the moonlight, the room was completely dark, but it was still possible to see the outline of some furniture placed around the room, the outline of a desk at the corner, some shelves and even a small couch near the window. It had to be some sort of study. Whose house was this in the first place…?

Out of nowhere, a strong smell began coming from your side, slowly making its presence well-known across the room. A strong smell that could come from one thing only.

And that was from the joint held between Suna’s fingers, the tip burned brightly in the darkness of the room, giving his sharp features this captivating, gentle glow akin to that from a fireplace in those fairytales you always used to read when you were but a small little girl, still full of nothing but hope and dreams for a brighter future.

Suna noticed the way your eyes lingered on the speck of light, following the smoky trail as it danced across the small breeze inside the room before dissipating, like it never existed in the first place.

“Here.” He put the joint in front of your face, not even blinking by the shocked expression on your face. Eyes wide open as you looked at it with sheer horror and panic. “This will help you relax, little rabbit.”

“...I thought I was Cinderella?”

“I thought you hated that nickname?”

He sighed in irritation, knowing exactly where this was going. You changed the subjects on purpose, trying to delay this for a bit longer. “Come on, it’s not like it’s gonna bite you.”

Slowly, you grabbed the joint from his hand. Carefully bringing it closer to your mouth and letting its weight rest over your lips for a moment, before inhaling deeply. Something you quickly regretted before coughing rapidly, suffocating on the smoke burning at the back of your throat. The room was filled with coughing and a laughing fit coming from the male sitting on the couch. When in the world did he sit down?

“How...ack!...How do you enjoy this crap?!” You wheezed painfully, glaring at Suna while he held the sides of his stomach, his body was shaking tremendously from his laughter that he nearly slid off the couch. Asshole…

Once he regained his breath, he got up from his seat and approached you again, taking the blunt away before you could throw it away, after all it had been expensive.

“Seriously Cinderella. You’re supposed to go slowly.” He pulled you along one more time. Sitting back on his previous spot as he helped position your legs to his sides so you straddled his lap just nicely enough for him to admire the sight in front of him. “I suppose you could use some help, mmm?”

You looked at him in both embarrassment and confusion. Watching him smoke that cursed thing so easily, no coughing fits, no choking on the smoke, nada. How long had he been doing this? All your attention was on the embers coming to life with his breathing, too focused on that precious light to notice the hand making its way around your back, casually tracing circles on your upper back.

That same hand pulled you again, this time with such care that it was impossible to resist the contact, not even when he pulled the blunt away before reaching out for your face, holding you close by the cheeks as your lips brushed against each others. You focused every bit of attention on that feather like touch, that was shortly followed by a fain gust of smoke. It felt so intimate being like this, being held so closely by someone you’ve known since high school, and being able to catch up after all this time wasn’t such a bad experience after all…

Then something in the air took a sharp turn when he closed the distance between your lips, once again capturing them with his own. But this time that weight on your shoulders was absent. That fear that always haunted your every action, every decision, every single thought, it was all gone.

For once in your life, you were not afraid anymore…

Your arms me their way around his neck, deepening the kiss with an intensity Suna didn’t even know was possible for someone as meek and quiet as you. No wonder people always joke that the quietest ones are the most perverse.

“Haha...That’s the spirit, Cinderella.”

The arms around your body pulled your hips down, grinding the spot between your legs against something hard, it didn’t take a genius to know where this was heading. You just let his arms guide you through it, enjoying the grinding of his growing erection and the low grunts he gave, easily muffled by the deafening music blaring through the other side of the door.

“Enjoying yourself?” If only you could see the mischievous smirk on his face when the only reply he got was a loud whimper. If only you could see the effect those little noises had on the male humping through your clothes, eager to get a taste of your body after all this time pining after you. “Fuck, you’re really into this, huh? You dirty little girl.”

Was it his words? The blunt finally starting to kick in? Both? Whatever it was, it made waves of heat radiate off your skin, covering it with a thin layer of sweat that made your clothes suffocating. Every fiber of these borrowed tight fitting clothes kept sticking oh so painfully over your body.

It felt like a torture having to part away from Suna, but these clothes had to leave. He had to admit watching as your top left your body was a delicious show, one he really wanted to take part in as he reached out to help remove your bottoms, leaving your body displayed to him, covered in nothing but a scandalous set of lingerie.

“Not so innocent, are you?”

As soon as you got within his arm’s reach, he pulled you back into his lap again. This time however, he had you sitting down between his open legs, with your bare back leaning against his chest. Not only did Suna have a way with words that could easily rile anyone up, but he also had a way to do wonders with his hands. 

The blunt was left over the window’s edge, forgotten in favor of your lace covered chest. Which he began squeezing softly, pinching the fabric over your nipples every time you released a whimper because of his intoxicating touches.

“Do you ever play with your nipples the same way you play with your pussy?”

“N-No…!”

“You’re an awful liar, Cinderella.” He slid one hand under your bra, pinching an erect nipple between his fingers while his other hand made his way to trace small circles over your panties, enjoying the feeling of damp fabric under his fingers. “You can tell a lot about people by looking them in the eye. You’re so desperate to be fucked silly.”

The lace over your chest is pulled upwards, releasing the soft mounds from their restraints with a soft bounce before a hand quickly latched on to one of them. Squeezing in sync with the fingers making their way inside the black lingerie, one began prodding its way between sloppy folds, gathering enough of your arousal before delving deeper into your cunt.

“Mmmm!….It feels so...weird.” Your back arches with each thrust of his finger against your soft walls “Suna, please!” Rather than slowing down he pushes another finger inside, thrusting and scissoring them at a leisurely pace to prepare you for the real thing.

“Come on, I know you can do better than that.” He swiftly wraps an arm under your chest as soon as your body starts writhing, buckling against the digits buried deep inside. The calloused texture, a result of his constant games of volleyball, provide additional stimulation. “Now, hold still. Look at you, taking my fingers so well.”

If only you could wipe that smirk of his face, but your hands were currently balled up into tight fists, nails digging painfully into the skin of your palms with ferocious strength, threatening to rip through the flesh at any moment. 

“Does it feel this good when you’re touching yourself?” You began squirming again, unable to take anymore of his touch, it’s too much, your body couldn’t take it anymore. It jerked furiously as it reached an orgasm, knocking the air out of your lungs with its strength.

If only you could see the look on Suna’s face as he leaned forwards over your shoulder, observing the heave of your chest with heightened desire. The throbbing in his pants turned unbearable when your walls clenched around his hand, soaking it with your sweet release that dripped down on the couch. 

God, he wanted to be inside you so badly. He wanted to ruin that sweet little hole, wreck it and fill it with his cum until the only thing that came out of your parted lips was his name.

“Ready for the best part, you little whore?” You were still too dazed to answer him, not even when he laid you face down on the couch, pulling your hips up to hook two fingers over the waistband of those soaked panties, pulling them away and taking them off before shoving them in his pocket. He grunted at the sight of those dripping folds, grabbing the flesh of your bare ass to get a better look at that slick cunt ready to be pleased. “I want to taste your pussy so badly, Cinderella.”

His hand left your skin just as quickly. You felt his weight leave the cushion, hearing the rustle of fabric even with the music from the party still blaring downstairs. One sound caught your attention among all the noise. The sound of a zipper being undone lures you attention like a sweet melody. And when your face follows the source you’re greeted by such an alluring sight of a well toned chest, with ripped muscles from years of training in the volleyball team despite Suna’s lean frame.

You wanted to run your hands acrossthem again, caress and kiss that bare skin. But Suna had other plans as he lowered both pants and boxers, sighing as his erection springs out with a small bounce, with a small bead of precum already dribbling down. He was quick to crawl over your naked body to begin grinding his shaft between your cheeks so you could feel the hard cock eager to be inside your velvet walls. “But as much as I’d love to have you sitting on my face. I can’t wait any longer, but neither can you right?”

He let out that signature chuckle when you buried your face into the arm rest and started mumbling to yourself, he could still make out something along the lines of “asshole”. 

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Cinderella.” He gathered more of your arousal between his fingers, occasionally rubbing a thumb against your clit to tease, ignoring the desperate pleads as he began pumping his cock, covering it with enough of your slick before pressing it down between your folds, with a quick thrust of his hips, he finally buried himself all the way in.

The fabric underneath your face muffed your cries of discomfort, pressed tightly against your face to the point it was hard to breathe. The stretch was so painful, so hot, but it was so fucking good, your body craved for more and Suna was eager to provide.

“Fuck, you’re so tight. You feel so good sucking in my cock like a good little slut.” He gripped your hips harshly, giving short, lazy thrust that made you cry out to him. “Tell me how good it feels to have me inside of you.”

“It feels...ngh! It feels great, Suna!” A hand smacked your ass painfully, leaving behind a burning sensation on the delicate skin. “Mmmm!”

“Wrong name, sweetheart.” He gave another thrust, a rougher one that pushed you forwards, nearly smacking your forehead against the arm rest. “Wanna try again? You better get it right this time.”

“R….Rin-!” A hand pressed firmly on your back while the other one tilted your hips upwards, it helped Suna brush against a different spot, one that brought tears to your eyes with every thrust. An arm reached back to hold on to him, just to be grabbed by the wrist and twisted behind your back, trapped in place while Suna began moving faster “Eh, close enough. Be grateful your pussy feels so good, otherwise I would’ve left already.”

“No!” You cried out, “Please Rin! Don’t stop, it feels so good!” You gave him a pleading look and tried moving your hips, just for a hand to smack the tender flesh of your ass, it was a warming to remain still. You’ve never been this bold before, why were you acting so different? Was it the effects of the blunt? Being railed in the middle of a party, where anyone could barge in at any moment?

“So you know your place, good.” you didn’t know it was possible to feel better than what you’re currently feeling, but Suna proved it was possible when he began pounding you harder, nearly pulling out his whole member until only the tip remained inside before slamming back against your abused hole.

He couldn’t take his eyes off your body, of the soft jiggling of your ass whenever he slammed back against it, the loud slapping of your skin, the way you moaned whenever he brushed against your cervix. It was too good, and he needed to preserve that image.

Your arm was released abruptly, and you quickly pulled it back to hold onto something else as the same warm feeling from before began spreading again, sending goosebumps through your whole body. If that wonderful feeling and the music hadn’t been a distraction, you would have heard the low beep of a smartphone filming everything. 

It started out at the spot where you both were connected, capturing the uncontrollable clenching of your cunt around Suna’s cock, the lewd mixture of your moans, grunts, the slapping of sweaty skin and one of the most vulgar songs to ever exist, slowly the camera went over those red marks all over your ass and hips, until it stopped at the back of your head, and the locks of hair bouncing around with each thrust.

“You look beautiful, Cinderella.” Suna cooed. “I wonder what They’d do if They knew you were with me right now.” He hissed in delight when you clenched tighter around him. “What would mommy and daddy think of you?” 

Anyone else would have cringed from thinking about their parents in the middle of sex, but Suna’s words stirred something twisted inside you. A wicked being yearning to make your parent’s life miserable and make them pay for everything.

Every single memory came back in a flash. From the memories of elementary school, where they expected nothing but the best but couldn’t bother to attend the school plays to the incident at college. 

That was the last straw, and the exact same reason why you sneaked out to this party to begin with, even borrowing an outfit from your friend that was perfect for the occasion. And look where that got you, to one hell of a good experience. Probably the first time you’ve been able to be yourself, not just a trophy child to be bragged about during Christmas dinner.

The same creature wanting to feed off your parent’s wrath kept whispering sweet nothings in your ear, sinister thoughts hidden behind honeyed words, craving to watch the world burn beneath your feet….In the end, not a single effort was ever enough to please your parent’s expectations...so, why bother?

Fuck it...Fuck it all.

“Harder, please fuck me harder Rin! Your cock feels amazing!” Suna blinked once, then twice, scoffing in amusement by the sudden twist in your mood, but who was he to complain? His phone was quickly shoved aside and ignored, not even remembering to stop filming as he leaned over your body. 

Those hard muscles you had been craving to touch were pressed firmly against your back, his toned arms resting around your head, and the chance to feel them up was certainly not missed.

With this angle, he reached places inside you that felt like the physical embodiment of paradise. Drool, sweat and tears covered your entire face when he found that one spot that took away your breath, and he began abusing it repeatedly. He too started getting closer to his release, and buried his face into your hair with a growl. His pace wavered bit….but he was so close, and so were you, judging from the desperation as you chanted his name over and over.

“Where do you want me to cum, my little whore? In you- Fuck! in your pussy? Your mouth? Your pretty pucker? I’ll put it wherever you want.”

That was it, you couldn’t take it anymore. Just thinking of it sent you over the edge. Your walls clamped down on his cock with such force that Suna had to stop moving. He would’ve loved to keep going for a little longer, but he couldn’t take it either.

“Rin!” With the last cry of his name, he pushed his whole body against yours, dropping his whole weight down as he finally came,  coating your insides with spurt after spurt of warm cum. Nothing seemed to matter as you laid on the soiled piece of furniture, trying to catch your breath in a dark room reeking of sex, sweat and weed.

It felt like an eternity had passed when Suna finally moved away and pulled out, watching in satisfaction as his cum began leaking, running down over your folds, your clit, eventually dripping down on the furniture with every spasm of your body.

The one thing that caught him off guard was when you hid your face away from him and began trembling in place, muffling some sniffles with the aid of the cushion. The fact you began crying caught him off guard for a moment, until your face turned to the side. And rather than crying, you were actually giggling like a mad woman.

You couldn’t stop that giddy smile. Cheeks burning furiously from everything you felt in that moment. For once in your life, you had the chance to experience freedom in the most intoxicating ways, and you wouldn’t change it for anything else.

“Everything okay, Cinderella?”

“Ahahaha...Yeah…” You turned over and laid on your back shortly after the laughter finally ceased, and turned back to him to watch that familiar joint between his fingers.

“Everything’s fine.”

Taglist: @hawks-senseis @honeytama @wakaoujisenhime @iwaasfairy @shoutogepi @gr0vndz3ro @xplosiveboy @shinsotired

[wish-i-wasnt-a-coward]

The echoey hallway

a/n: quick note, this is 100% a rant fic. I have been upset by something and this is my way of getting it out. As it says in the warnings this is a description of a pretty intense panic attack, please don’t read if that would bother you <3333

Pairings: platonic or romantic Moceit, slightly toxic platonic lamp (not really their just oblivious) 

Warnings: panic attack, self deprecating thoughts, food, toxic mindsets, slight disassociation due to a panic attack, hurt/comfort, angst w/ a happy ending, feeling like a burden (mood ngl), violence mention, cursing 

Word count: 1,200

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Patton curled into himself. His arms wrapped around his chest as he sobbed violently. Heavy breathing filled his ears, forcing out any other sound. His entire face was slick with tears, glasses coated in the slime. 

He had tried so hard. 

Morality was responsible for taking care of the other sides, dark, light, whatever, they were all his kiddos. He had an obligation to them, of course it was an obligation that he loved! But that didn’t mean he was good at it.  

They had all been uncomfortable around each other since Janus’ acceptance. But Patton and his famILY were working on better communication and over the past few moths Janus had become a reluctant part of the group.  

Which was why Patton was so exited when Roman asked to take him to a show in the imagination. They were singing one of the new songs that Roman had worked so hard on and from what Patton had heard it was really good. 

So of course when the day of the performance arrived and Patton woke up in a blanket of misery. Even getting out of bed had been a hassle and by the time he managed to pull himself downstairs, the others were all awake. 

The mask had slipped on so easily at first. Patton smiled and joked his way through breakfast, making it as fast as he could to accommodate for the time he had wasted in bed. 

It was only when Roman reminded him of the day that he faltered. They had all looked at him in concern, Patton had felt sick, it wasn’t their job to care about his problems but he could barely function as it was. A trip to the imagination would be torture. 

Roman had looked so crushed. 

He left without eating anything. Virgil left quickly after to check on him. Good, at least Roman wasn’t alone. Logan went off to work barely glancing at Patton as he left. 

That was when Patton broke.

He made it halfway to his room before the attack hit him, he crumpled into the corner of the hallway. His sobs bounced the hallway as he cried alone. 

If only he wasn’t so fucked up, why did his family even put up with him? He couldn’t do his job right, he couldn’t be there for the others, he couldn’t do one. fucking. thing. without hurting someone else. 

He understood now why Virgil wanted to duck out. 

Virgil was wrong of course, they needed him. The emo could be gloomy, but he always did his best to protect the others and Thomas. He was an essential part of the group, Virgil knew that now. Patton on the other hand couldn’t take care of his family or steer Thomas in the right direction without hurting the person he was supposed to be helping. They would all be so much better without him.

Patton heaved as his breathing picked up. His whole body was shaking, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t see. 

Everything hurt, he hurt everything. 

Patton wasn’t sure how long he sat like this. Nothing felt real, he wasn’t even sure if he was still crying. Patton was sure this was how he was going to die, if it was maybe he deserved it. 

Something broke him out of his trance slightly, “-hear me?” a voice said through Patton breathing. it was barely a wispier to him but a jot of panic flowed through Patton’s veins. despite being barely coherent he was present enough to register that this was not a state he wanted anyone to see him in. 

The shaking side crawled away from the figure crouched in front of him. Patton pressed his back up to the wall, blinking his eyes open only to slam them closed again. Janus looked so worried, he shouldn’t be. It’s not his job to worry about Patton, it’s no one’s job. No one needs that kind of burden. 

“Patton,” Deceit said softly, “may I touch you?” he asked holding his bare hands up as non-threateningly as possible. 

Patton made a horrible choked noise but nodded. Janus sprung into action scooping the moral side into his arms and pulling them both into Patton’s room only a few yards away, as they walked Janus reminded Patton of the breathing exercise Virgil used in his moments of panic. 

He carefully placed the shaking side on a pile of pillows. Patton seemed to have calmed down a bit but he was far from better. 

Janus summoned two cups of hot-coco and placed them next to the fort. He sat quietly next to Patton who crawled into his lap holding onto Janus like a lifeline, Janus wrapped all six arms around the side. The two lay there for a few moments before Janus handed Patton his cup, the moral side took it numbly and held it to his chest. 

“Hey, darling” Janus began, “I know you’re still out of it but talking about it could get some of it off your chest,” he said softly. Patton let out a shaky breath, “I know” he murmured. “I don’t want to bother you” he mumbled into Janus’ chest, flinching when Jan inhaled sharply. 

“Why would you bother me Pat?” he asked tensely. “S’ not your job to take care of me”. Janus made a face, “Isn’t it?”. Patton shook his head, “Sweetheart, I’m self-preservation. It is exactly my job to take care of you” Patton made a noise but Janus continued, “It’s our job actually, everyone’s. And it’s not a job, more like a…”

“moral obligation?” Patton finished with a bitter laugh at the pun. “I was going to say that it was nicer than a job. Taking care of you isn’t a bad thing, just as you taking care of us isn’t a bad thing” Janus paused, “It’s not right?” 

“No! Of course not!” Patton cried, sitting up a little, “It’s my favorite thing about being a part of Thomas” Janus nodded smiling, “even though I’m not good at it, making you all happy makes me so happy” Janus’ smile evaporated, “what do you mean not good at it?” 

Patton looked a little embarrassed, “well ya know, I keep messing things up with Thomas and Roman-” Patton cut himself off with a sob. Janus pulled him back into an embrace sighing heavily. “Patton, I don’t know what happened with Roman but I am sure he will get over it. He loves you so much, we all do. I have no idea where you got the idea that you aren’t doing a good job. Even with Thomas, you’re learning. Adapting yourself to meet the needs of others as well as yourself is not an easy thing. But you’re doing a great job, I’m so sorry we haven’t told you that”

“Don’t be sorry” Patton mumbled still pressed against Janus’ chest. “I am and you can’t stop me,” Janus said smiling down at Patton who let out a tiny giggle, progress. 

“Do you want me to stay here or should I go beat up Roman?” Janus asked seriously. “Stay” Patton yawned, “And no violence”. Janus’ expression was so ridiculously soft, “of course dear heart. No violence, just threats” Patton hummed, “we’ll get there” he murmured half asleep already. Janus laughed, “we will Pat, we will,” he said brushing his fingers through Patton’s curls. 

[absolute-flaming-trash-archive]

Hurt Part 3 - Damaged Goods

This is officially turning into a long fic series. Thank you a million times to @my-child-gaara for beta reading this.

Pairing: Illumi x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2′811

Warnings: Implied abuse/toxic relationship, Yandere behaviour, Manipulation, Graphic description of injury, Mentions of assault/noncon.

Part One, Part Two

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The longer the days went on, the more they began to blur together. That tended to happen when there was a lot of repetition. A constant repeat of routine that you would follow almost mindlessly.

To be fair, the daily regime was only a small part of what made the days fade into one another.

What was mostly the cause of it was the dissociation you were beginning to fall into to cope with the ever increasing visits from Hisoka.

You genuinely didn’t know how to act around the man anymore. What had started off as a relationship of supposed mutual respect had fallen apart over the course of a single evening, which he would remind you of and repeat frequently.

It wouldn’t happen every time he came to you. Sometimes it would be as it used to, where you would patch him up, albeit now with a heavy tension in the air, and he would leave. Other times it would be like that night all over again. You kept fighting him, of course, still unwilling to submit to a man who made it his goal to violently remind you that, in his mind, you belonged to him.

It was seemingly random. The only consistent indication of his possessive behaviour was that when you mentioned a friend or a coworker that you were getting close to, they would mysteriously disappear within several days.

It made you feel alone. Isolated.

Yet you still didn’t hate him… did you?

You’d think you would after all of that time. After what he had done. Everyone had their breaking point.

You honestly didn’t know if you had reached it, but were too numb to notice, or if you were truly that forgiving.

It was an endless cycle you would think about every night as you stared up at the ceiling, body still aching from how Hisoka had treated you.

Every cycle was eventually broken, though.

The clattering of books followed by the sound of something smashing broke you from your thoughts, making you instantly freeze.

Someone was in your house, and it wasn’t who you thought it was.

You had only one weapon in your room, a bat you saved for emergencies .

It would never do against someone like Hisoka, but for a burglar? You’d take your chances.

You threw the covers off of you, grabbing the bat and holding it above your head, approaching the source of the noise with caution; your breathing coming in quiet, shaky breaths the closer you got to your living room. 

When you rounded the corner, it was like time froze.

Like you thought, it wasn’t Hisoka.

Instead a man with the darkest eyes you had ever seen stood amongst the remnants of your fallen bookshelf, the shade of his clothes contrasting greatly against the paleness of his skin.

“Hey,” he greeted, his voice shockingly casual - as if he hadn’t broken into your home and ruined your bookcase. You adjusted your grip on the bat, narrowing your eyes at the man before you.

“What do you want?”

Your eyes flickered over the dress-like blue outfit he wore. It was in tatters, blood and dirt deeply staining the fabric. The gloves covering his arms were shredded, hanging over his arms like streamers.

“I’m in need of your services, it would seem.” Your eyes snapped back up to his lightning fast, knuckles white from your grip on the bat. The man sighed heavily at your reaction.

“Hisoka did say you were skittish, there’s no reason to be alarmed.”

The bark of dry laughter that left you at his comment surprised you both. “If you’re with Hisoka, that gives you less reason to be here, and if you touch me I’ll more than alarm you.”

“On the contrary, I believe it gives me all the reason.”

Awkward tension hung heavy in the air as the two of you stared at each other, both unwilling to move from your positions. His orb-like eyes shifted over to the now trivial seeming weapon in your hands.

Like hell you’d go down without it though.

“Put down the bat.”

“Will you leave?”

“No, I still need your services.”

“Then I’m not putting down the bat.”

The slightest twitch of his eye was the only indicator of the annoyance that had begun to creep through his system.

“If I offered you my name, would that calm you enough to treat me?”

You paused, mulling the thought over with caution. It would certainly make things a little smoother, in any case.

“I still don’t trust you, but perhaps.”

“Excellent, I’m Illumi Zoldyck.” The robotic cheeriness to his voice was anything but soothing as you watched him seat himself on your couch. “I’d like you to get whatever supplies you have on hand, as I believe you’ll need them all.”

His words went over your head as you processed the name given to you.

Zoldyck. There was an assassin in your house.

“Are you going to kill me?” The words slipping out before you could stop them, making Illumi tilt his head, his eyelids drooping slightly in boredom.

“If I were to kill you, you would be long dead already.”

His tone did nothing to soothe your nerves, despite the implication that the words were meant to be reassuring.

Another few beats of silence passed as you continued to examine each other. It seemed that you were at an impasse, and you had a feeling that between the two of you the assassin was the least likely to back down from his stance.

“Are you going to get your kit?”

You lowered the bat begrudgingly, the discomfort and confliction written heavily across your face.

Just this once, you decided, turning on your heel and walking away briskly.

You hurried into the kitchen, grabbing what you needed with shaking hands, taking deep breaths in order to calm yourself as much as you could. The deja vu you were feeling was horrible, and you’d be damned if you let history repeat itself, but you had been taught harshly and repeatedly that you were not as strong as you had initially thought yourself to be.

That certainly didn’t mean you were willing to give up just yet though.

You returned to Illumi with a bowl of warm water and your kit, kneeling to assess the damage. There were lacerations all up and down his right arm, shards of glass deeply embedded into the cuts along with bits of debris. The bruising that you could see wasn’t horrendous, but it wasn’t good either. You shoved your state of unease into the back of your mind as you tried to focus primarily on the injuries presented.

“What happened?”

“My initial attack missed and my target became aware of my presence. Extremely annoying, really, as my aim was not the issue and it was due to him tripping over an uneven surface. We fought.”

Illumi watched with unblinking eyes as you experimentally touched around his multitude of cuts before you nodded to yourself, standing up and walking back into your kitchen.

“I’m going to remove the glass from your arms before I assess the rest of you.” You returned with a small empty bowl and a chair in hand.

The deja vu was becoming more intense by the minute.

“I do have to ask though, what made you come to me?” - you sat down, grabbing the cloth from the bowl and gesturing for Illumi to give you his arm - “I’d imagine your family has their own collection of doctors due to your profession.”

“We do, however now that I now know about you, you were a closer and more convenient option.”

“Deep breath, this is going to sting.”

Your warning was acknowledged with a slight nod, and you pressed the cloth to his skin as gently as you could. Illumi made no motion to pull away as you carefully cleaned the area as best as you could.

“To be quite honest, I’m a little surprised that Hisoka mentioned me to you.” you murmured, lightly dragging the cloth over the wounds, removing as much of the debris as you could and tossing it to the side once you were finished. A few beats of silence passed while you pulled out a pair of tweezers and began sanitizing them with rubbing alcohol.

“Not hard to believe, Hisoka feels the need to overshare the details of his missions with me for some odd reason.” His voice unwavering even as you had begun to pull the shards of glass from his skin. “Each of them would end with the common theme of him coming to you for assessment of his injuries.”

You huffed, the sound of the glass hitting the aluminum bowl filling the gaps of the conversation. “I'm not surprised at that, just the fact that he gave you permission to see me. At least that's what I meant before.”

“He did not, I found you on my own.”

It felt like all the air in the room had been sucked out at his words, your wide eyes slowly making their way up to his face as adrenaline shot through your veins, mouth instantly going dry.

“What did you say?” 

“At any attempt on my part to find out where you lived, should I need to acquire your services, he would become very proprietorial and would not disclose any further information. Quite inconvenient, we’ve always had a give and take relationship, but apparently he does not wish to share you with me.”

You couldn’t help but flinch at his particular choice of words.

“He uhm” -you swallowed thickly, clearing your throat as you gathered your words- “he doesn’t know you’re here?”

“No.”

That knowledge was simultaneously relieving and terrifying. Relieving in the sense that Hisoka wasn’t sending the people who he worked with to you to patch up, or...sharing you with others.

It was terrifying because you had no idea how he would react if he caught you with Illumi in your home when he clearly didn’t want him there.

And he could come through your door at any moment.

You ran your eyes over his arms, weighing your options quietly while trying to steady your breathing. You had nearly removed all the glass, after that you just needed to put on an antibacterial ointment and wrap the wounds in gauze and derma wrap, and he would be set.

Anything that you missed would have to be treated at his home, you couldn’t risk it here.

“This knowledge appears to be disconcerting, is Hisoka an exclusive client?”

An airy, humourless chuckle passed your lips. If only he knew.

“I’m going to do what I can for your arms, however the rest I’m going to have to leave to you since I’m not well equipped for anything worse than this. Hisoka used up the majority of my heavy duty medical gear some time ago, and I haven’t had the time or the funds to go get more.”

Illumi blinked owlishly at you as you continued to work, your movements noticeably faster as you treated him.

Odd, but your reasoning was sound enough.

The minutes flew by as you removed the remaining glass, antibiotic cream covered gauze placed over each wound as you gingerly wrapped the derma wrap around his arms.

“Okay, I think you should be good now.” You breathed, shoulders relaxing as he stood, examining your handiwork blankly while you hurriedly began to pack your supplies up.

“I don’t think you have much to worry about otherwise, and once again I’m sorry for not being able to do-”

Your eyes widened as he began to peel off his clothing, your arms automatically rising in defense; cowering behind the little protection they provided.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, don’t hurt me please!”

The automatic words were barely understandable, leaving you in a fast, jumbled mess. Illumi stared at you in confusion, his tattered shirt still in his hands.

“Is this not your form of payment?”

Your shoulders relaxed slightly as you peeked out, your own confusion knitting across your brow at his statement, “Payment?”

“Yes,” Illumi confirmed, retaking his seat on your couch, “whenever Hisoka comes to you, you treat him, and once you are finished you two engage in sexual activities, from what I have gathered from what has been retold to me.” - the casualness of his tone made you flinch - “So I believed that was your form of payment for your services.”

The way he said it was so… detached. Like what he was saying was simply a matter of business being conducted, and nothing more.

To be frank, it horrified you.

“No,” you responded, fully lowering your arms to your side, shaking your head at his claim. “No, Hisoka and I have no such arrangement. He doesn’t pay me anything.”

“Eh?” Illumi tilted his head, bits of his dark locks falling in front of his face. “Well this will not do at all, how much do you normally charge for your services?”

You didn’t know what it was about that sentence that made you chuckle, but it bloomed into a full bodied laugh; tears springing to your eyes as you clutched your sides. Illumi continued to stare at you through your little fits until your laughter had died down, now only coming in short bursts of giggles.

“Mr. Zoldyck,” -you wiped a stray tear from your eye, giving him a small broken smile- “I don’t charge anything. I never have. I’m not a medically trained professional, my skills are only the result of a few first aid courses I took for my own safety and for previous jobs.”

“Illumi is fine.” He responded, pulling out his phone, beginning to type with one hand, “I shall send you compensation for the inconvenience I have caused you as well as of the damage to your home. What is your number?”

“It’s just a fallen bookshelf, Illumi, it’s fine-”

“I believe 30 million jenny is reasonable, is that sufficient?”

Your jaw hit the floor as you gaped at him.

You were stunned to say the least.

You stuttered out the number to your cell phone, still in a state of shock, “I… I don’t know what to say, sir, thank you.”

“Your gratitude is unnecessary, and once again it’s Illumi,” -he said simply, pocketing the phone in his pants- “you should receive the transfer shortly.”

All you could do was nod as you processed all of what just happened, the rustling of Illumi’s clothing as he redressed himself becoming background noise.

You ran a hand down your face, pausing over your mouth as you tried to figure out just exactly what to do next.

30 million. That was a lot of money, more than what you could properly explain away without finding some kind of excuse. The lottery was always a good go-to, but if you claimed that and word got out, then you’d have “friends” and “family” coming out of the woodwork, and you didn’t need that kind of hassle added to your already complicated life.

You could say that it was inheritance, after all you did have a fairly large extended family…

Only problem with that route was that Hisoka more than likely kept tabs on everyone connected to you.

Panic shot through your system at the reminder of the man, frantic eyes snapping back to reality and searching the living room for Illumi.

He was gone. Shit.

“Illumi?!” you nearly tripped over your own feet as you ran out of the living room, looking up and down the halls of your house desperately before landing on him, his hand hovering over the doorknob to your front door. You stopped a few feet short of him, heart still pounding in your ears from your initial anxiety.

“He can’t know you were here. Hisoka, I mean.” You fidgeted with your hands, unsure how to properly word the thoughts in your head. “If… if you ever need to see me again, you need to warn me you’re coming. No matter how serious your injuries are.”

You laughed nervously, offering the assassin a small hopeful smile.

Illumi blinked, studying you for a moment. Why you would be so worried about his associate was completely unknown to him. Well not entirely true, it was obvious he had mistreated you in some way, but that was no concern of his. Your request of him informing you as to when he would be coming could eventually prove inconvenient, however the subtle invitation that you were willing to treat him in the future would more than make up for it. If necessary, he could use the leverage of Hisoka’s ignorance against you if that were to change.

He hummed lightly, satisfied with his own reasoning as his lips twitching up slightly in a microscopic smile, meeting your own misguided one. 

“Of course.”

-----

Please tell me if you find Illumi ooc, as well as your thoughts. Yes there will be more parts in the future. 💛

Tag List: @prettycutebunny, @my-child-gaara, @yep-seeyalaterbranflakes, @shorkbrian, @mynameseri, @trash-writings, @biby-24k, @ao-writes-filth

[dirtyoatmeall]

All it takes is one moment (Atsumu x reader)

A/N: uhhh sorry for dropping off the face of the earth!! I have a million WIPs I’ll hopefully be posting here shortly! I was reading a bunch of cheesy hurt/comfort fics last night and decided to make my own hehe, tbh it got me thinking of doing another one but no comfort and it turning into a slow burn with another character :0 Please read the warnings, this is Post-Timeskip, so spoilers for occupations. Everyone is probably like 25ish here? Also I apologize in advance for their accents, I tried in a few spots, I’m still getting used to it. (also @spiritofthescarletwoods I know you wanted to be tagged in the midoriya angst I promised a million years ago, but here’s some tsumu angst for now!)

Genre: Hurt/comfort or Angst with a happy ending

Pairing: Miya Atsumu x reader (uhmm pronouns I believe are gn but I do not proof read as we all know)

Word Count: 4.?k

Warnings: Mentions of past abusive relationships, insinuation of cheating, slight misogynistic vibes for a moment, crude language, Atsumu is mean :( (Probably OOC Osamu and Atsumu), Post-time skip ((Let me know if I need to add something!)

_

You and Atsumu have been together for about 3 years now, and it was great. The two of you were very much in love, supported each other, and rarely fought, as you tried to be as open and communicate as much as possible. The last relationship you were in was toxic and abusive, it took a long time for you to be yourself again, and Atsumu had supported you along the way, he knew what had happened, and he swore to never make you feel like that again. And he stuck by that, until today.

Even though you rarely fought, when you did, it was resolved quickly, but this time was not the same. It had started off small. You had an important event coming up for work, you would be presenting on your year long research project, having made big findings in your field work. It was a huge deal for you, but when you brought it up at dinner, Atsumu did not have the same opinion.

“What do you mean you can’t make it? Everything I’ve been working on had led up to this, this is a career changing presentation, and you don’t want to go?” Hurt was clearly evident in your voice, as was frustration. Atsumu sighed, he’d had a horrible week, there was a big game coming up with the Adler’s and he needed to be prepared. “Like I said, I have practice that night, You can tell me all about it when you get home. I don’t see why you’re making a big fuss ‘bout it, ‘s just a presentation babe.” You furrowed your eyebrows looking at him incredulously.

“Did you not listen to anything I just said? It’s not just a presentation, this is my career Atsumu. I consistently put my own work aside to support you, why can’t you do the same for me? It’s not like I’m asking you to miss a game, it’s a practice.”  You could tell he was getting frustrated, but so were you, you made it a point to make every single game of his, missing out on work opportunities to come support him, him refusing to come to something so important was hurtful, and made you feel like you were less important than him, but before you could voice your feelings Atsumu spoke.

“This isn’t jus’ any practice. We have a big game comin’ up, it's important I’m there, ‘m the setter. Let's be real here, we both know which of us is the bread-maker in this household. This is basically a little hobby of yours, you can come back to it at any time. I’m a professional athlete hun, there’s only so much time I have before retirement.” He spoke in a condescending manner that baffled you. He’s never spoken to you like that before, is that how he really felt about your work? You scoffed, rising from the dinner table.

“Are you fucking kidding me, do you know condescending and frankly, misogynistic that was?” He sighed and rolled his eyes as he followed you with his plate, dinner half eaten and cold much like yours. “Here you go again” He muttered, though loud enough for you to hear. You dropped your plate in the sink and you looked at him, eyes wide, and furious.

“What did you just say to me? Here I go again? What the fuck does that mean Atsumu?” He set his plate on the counter, looking at you from across the island as he gripped the countertop. “What I mean is that yer always playing the victim, we get it, you last relationship was shitty, but that doesn’t mean you have to act like this all the time, I thought you got over it?”

You balked at him, was he serious right now? “Oh my god really? Are you seriously asking me if I got over an abusive relationship, after everything I’ve told you about it? After everything I had to do to get where I am now? We are supposed to support each other, I didn’t realize it was one sided.” Atsumu sighed, growing more frustrated, he tried to interrupt you, but you kept going, 

“All I wanted was for you to come to one dinner, after the years we’ve been together I haven’t asked you to miss any games or practices for my work, you know my coworkers have asked if I’m single? They didn’t believe me when I told them I was in a relationship, and you know what? I don’t blame them, I wouldn’t believe me either, since they’ve never seen you, and I take all this time off to travel and support you, all of your team know who I am, why is it so hard for you to do the same?”

As you kept going, his anger only grew, he tried interrupting you again, but it was like you weren’t paying attention to him, just spouting off whatever came to your head, and he was tired of it. 

He slammed his hand on the counter, the sound reverberating throughout the apartment. You flinched, hard, but Atsumu didn’t seem to notice. “Can you just shut up for one moment? God, all you do is go on and on nagging on how what I do isn’t enough, I pay the bills here, why isn’t that enough for you? I could care less about what’s going on at your job, I have absolutely no interest in it at all, when will you get that through your fucking skull? I. don’t. care.” By the time he was done his knuckles were white from how hard he was gripping the counter, and you had tears in your eyes. You sucked in a breath, steeling yourself.

“Ok, I’m going to remove myself from the situation, I’ll be at your brothers, you can come get me when you pull your head out of your ass.” He rolled his eyes as you strode past him, getting your purse from the hook and going to slip on your shoes. “Yeah go ahead, you gonna wet his dick for ‘im too? ‘m sure he’ll love that.” You stiffened for a moment, putting your shoes on before looking at him, tears making your vision blurry.

“Y’know I tell myself that this isn’t like last time, that you’re not him, but at times like this-“ Your voice cracked as a sob bubbled into your throat and you shook your head, turning and heading out the door. Atsumu flinched at your words and the soft click of the door latching, he would’ve preferred to hear it slam.

Your walk to the elevator was blurry but you knew the way by heart after living there for so long. You wiped at your eyes as you pulled out your phone, tapping on the contact before bringing the phone to your ear. It rang once before it picked up, a tired “hello?” coming from the other end. You let out a quiet sob as you loaded the elevator, trying to get the words to come out. Upon hearing you, Osamu spoke again, “(Y/N)? Are you crying? What’s wrong.” You cleared your throat and took a deep breath before speaking, your voice tight. “Hey ‘samu, can, can I come to your place? ‘tsumu and I- we-'' you broke out into another sob, and you could hear Osamu close a door.

“Where are you? I’ll pick you up, I’m just leaving the restaurant I’m close.” After telling him where you were, you stayed on the phone, walking in the direction of the restaurant. Not long you see Osamu’s car pull up, he quickly gets out and looks you over and sighed as he brings you in for a hug. You sob into his jacket for a moment while he rubbed your back gently. He knew about your past as well, and figured it must have been bad for you to leave in tears. He leads you to the car and makes sure you’re strapped in before heading to the drivers side and getting in, double checking your seatbelt before driving towards his apartment.

The drive was short, though to you it felt like it lasted hours. You tried to quiet your sobs, not wanting to bother him. He looked over at you every so often, worry evident in his gaze as he tried to figure out just what his stupid brother did.

After arriving at his apartment, he sat you down on the couch, wrapping a blanket around you and giving you a box of tissues before sitting next to you, gently asking what happened. You try not to cry as you retell the events of the evening, though it got harder and harder as you told him what Atsumu said to you. By the time you were finished you were crying again, and Osamu was furious.

“I-I just don’t understand ‘samu, the things he said, did he really m-mean them? And-and when he slammed his hand on the counter, the look on his face, it, it was like I was back there all over again, like I never left. I-I know he’d never hurt me,” You sobbed out, throat getting tighter as you go on, “But at that moment, all I could think was that he was gonna hit me, and I, I had to leave, and what he said before I left,” You hiccupped and cried into your hands, not able to finish.

Osamu rubbed your back as you cried before getting up to make some tea. While the water was boiling he went into the other room, trying to calm himself down before calling his brother. The line rang three times before it was picked up, a frustrated “what do you want?” coming from the other end. It was enough to dwindle Osamu’s patience into nothing. He tried to keep his voice down, not wanting to distress you further.

“What do I want? Do you know how badly you fucked up? (Y/N) is here crying on my couch right now, do you know what she told me ‘tsumu? She told me she thought you were going to hit her. Are you fucking kidding me? Did you even think before you spoke, because from what she told me, it sounds like you didn’t. How dumb are you, after everything she’s gone through, the first big fight you have you send her running? Over a dinner? Really Atsumu?”

Atsumu groaned on the other line, “Exactly ‘samu, it’s a dinner, I have practice for the game against the Adler’s you know how big that is. She’ll have plenty of dinners for me to go to in the future. I don’t see why she got so upset over it. And she knows I didn’t mean the things I said, I was just frustrated.”

Osamu scoffed into the phone, “Did you even hear what I said, are you hearing yourself? She is the best thing that has happened to you, the least you could do is support her, this is a big deal for her Atsumu, even I know that. Honestly I don’t know why she is still with you after the shit you just pulled, did you hear me? She was scared of you, y’know like that last relationship she had? Where she was sent to the hospital multiple times, she thought she was right back there, that you were just like him. Do you know how bad you have to fuck up for that to happen, after all the counseling she’s done? You know how much trust you just broke? I wouldn’t be surprised if she never wanted to hear from you again, and I’d agree with her. God I have half a mind to tell Ma what you did, You need to sit and stew on what you just lost. And I mean it, I don’t want to see you here tonight, she needs a safe space right now. I’ll let her stay for as long as she wants, but I’m not gonna stop her if she leaves so you better get your fucking head on straight and get on your knees begging for forgiveness you don’t deserve.”

With that Osamu hung up the phone, exhaling as he pinched the bridge of his nose, was his brother really that stupid? He shook his head and headed out of his room, only to open the door to see you standing there, eyes holding an emotion he couldn’t quite place. “Is he coming?” Osamu sighed and led you back to the couch before finishing the tea he forgot about. He placed your cup on the end table next to you and took a seat with his own. “No, I told him to stay at your guy’s tonight. You need a safe space right now to calm down and sort your thoughts. You can stay here as long as you’d like, but I don’t want you to feel trapped, you can leave whenever, if you want to go to your folk’s, hell even our Ma’s place, I’ll drive you there. You just need to focus on you right now ya hear me? And if you don’t ever wanna see my ugly brother again, I’ll help you get a new identity.” You giggled slightly at the last part before you took a sip of your tea, shoulders relaxing. You turned to Osamu and smiled.

“Thank you ‘samu, I really appreciate it. I’m a little more calm right now, I think I’ll go home tomorrow, apologize and get us back on track.” You did a little nod as you said it, but Osamu just furrowed his eyebrows. “Apologize? There is nothing you need to apologize for doll, You were completely justified in your frustration, Atsumu is the one who needs to apologize, not you. Don’t settle just so things will go back to normal, because they won’t.” You sighed sadly, he was right and you knew it. You were falling back to old coping tactics. Your therapist would not be happy with you right now.

“Sorry, you’re right. I’m still gonna go back, hopefully after we’ve both had some sleep we can work it out.” You smiled again, feeling more like yourself. Osamu nodded in agreement and helped you set up in the guest bedroom before turning in. You sighed as you laid in the bed, not used to sleeping by yourself, but the events from the night took its toll, and it didn’t take long for you to fall asleep.

Back in your apartment, Atsumu was having the opposite problem. He laid in your shared bed, staring at the ceiling, did you actually think he was going to hit you, that he meant the things he said? To him, it didn’t seem like a big deal, he was loud when he was angry, and sometimes said things he didn’t mean, which should be obvious, since you knew how much he loved you…right? He grabbed his phone from the nightstand, looking up the museum you worked at. Honestly he wasn’t really paying attention when you told him about the event, he knew it had something to do with your research, which he knew a little about from the nights you’d info dump your findings to him. His eyes widened when he looked at the upcoming events, when he clicked on the date it was scheduled for he winced.

It really was a big deal, curators from all over the country were coming to hear you give a presentation on your recent fieldwork findings, you’d been at this site for the majority, if not all, of your relationship only now having a big discovery others spent their entire lives chasing. There were going to be donors, curators, archaeologists and other anthropologists from all over Japan and other countries as well. You were right, this was a career changer, no, this was a life changing presentation.

Guilt started to seep into his bones as he thought again about what he had said, how he had brushed you off and then got mad at you for voicing your feelings, something that took months for you to be able to do with him. He thought back to when he slammed his hand on the table, the way you flinched, the look in your eyes right before you left. His stomach felt like it dropped out of his body, chest constricting as the guilt flooded him as he kept thinking back to every expression you made, how you were crying when you left, that you were scared of him. He pushed his palms against his eyes as he groaned, how could he be so horrible to you? Osamu was right, about everything. You were the best thing that’s happened to him, and he broke your trust, trust that took so long to build, over missing a practice. He rolled onto his side, pulling one of your pillows against his chest. He inhaled, the scent of your conditioner still lingering, as he tried to think of how he could possibly make it right.

```

The next morning, after a relaxing shower and breakfast, you were ready. Osamu grabbed his keys, ready to drive you back, when there was a knock at the door. You had a feeling on who it was, so you set down your purse and went to sit on the couch, taking a deep breath. After a few moments Osamu came to the doorway, followed by Atsumu, who stood awkwardly for a moment before Osamu spoke to you.

“I need to be at the restaurant, there’s a key on the counter, if you could lock up if you leave that’d be great. Call me if you need anything.” He turned and left, and when you heard the door close you finally met Atsumu’s gaze, smiling slightly in greeting. Neither of you were sure what to say, but after a minute of silence he comes over and sits on the other end of the couch, obviously trying to gauge your reaction to his proximity.

You sighed through your nose, gaze turned to the floor as you fiddled with your hands, trying to sort out your thoughts. You wanted to just apologize and move on, but you knew you had to talk it out, this wasn’t something you could just pretend didn’t happen. You needed to work through this if you wanted this to work. You bit your lip, thoughts running a mile a minute. You were so deep in thought you didn’t realize Atsumu had moved until you felt his hand rest on your forearm. You jumped slightly, startled at the sudden touch and when you looked at Atsumu, who had moved to the place next to you and hovered his hand over you before bringing it back to his lap, guilt evident in his features, eyes raw with emotion.

“(Y/N), I don’t even know where to begin, I fucked everything up and I am so sorry. Sorry for not listening, for brushing you and your achievements off, for making you feel lesser and unimportant, for scaring you, please, you have to know, I would never lay a hand on you, I never meant a single thing I said last night, I was frustrated and let the week get to me, which is no excuse for the way I treated you. I broke your trust, and I’ll spend forever and a month trying to earn it back. You are without a doubt the best thing that has happened to me, and the way I treated you after everything that’s happened, it- it makes me sick. I love you so much, and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you. But I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore, I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want, I-I just- I need you to know that I love you, and that I never meant it, I’d never mean it.” His voice cracked at the end,  and he wiped his eyes before looking up to meet your gaze. You were crying, biting your lip to keep it in but failing as you took a shuddering breath that turned into a half-sob. His heart broke even more seeing you like this, and he reached out to comfort you before stopping, hand curling back into his chest.

“Can, Can I touch you?” He asked shakily, scared of the answer, shoulders slumping with relief when you nodded and he quickly gathered you into his arms, pulling you into his lap and holding you tight, like if he let you go you’d disappear. You were crying louder now, hands fisted into his sweatshirt. He nuzzled his face into your hair, quietly apologizing over and over, tears starting to fall from his eyes as well, kissing the side of your head.

The two of you stayed like that for what seemed like hours, though in reality it was about 10 minutes. Your sobs had died down, you were just sniffing occasionally, and Atsumu’s eyes had cleared, no longer obstructed by the water wall of tears. He pulled you away from his chest slightly, cupping your cheeks, wiping at the tear tracks staining your face.

“’M sorry, ‘m so sorry. I’ll say it for the rest of my life darlin’, I love you so much and I am so proud of everything you do. I hope that one day you can forgive me, but I understand if you can’t, if you won’t. You mean th’ world t’ me angel, I want nothing more than for you to be happy, for you to feel safe and loved. I promise I will support you better from now on, no matter what. I’ll make good on my promises from all those years ago, I swear.” You nodded at his words, hands coming up to cup his own before one of his moved to the back of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss, stopping right before your lips met, breath mixing as he looked at you for signs of hesitance, of fear.

“Is this okay?” Instead of verbally confirming you closed the short distance, hands gripping his shoulders as your lips moved against his slowly, taking time to enjoy each other. He pulled away after a few moments before kissing your forehead, hugging you tightly once again. “Let’s go home.” You said quietly into his shirt, squeezing his shoulders before standing on shaky legs. He nodded, getting up after you, lacing your fingers together.

Weeks later~~

 You smiled nervously at Atsumu as you rose out of your chair, giving him a quick kiss before heading to the stage. You squinted briefly at the bright lights, exhaling and smoothing out your clothes before smiling at the audience as you introduced yourself. You tried to keep your gaze evenly over the crowd, but your eyes kept finding themselves locked with Atsumu, who grinned brightly and gave a thumbs up whenever you did. Your smile grew, nerves slowly dissipating as you lost yourself in your presentation.

Afterwards you answered a few questions from the crowd, thanking them again before heading back to your table. You shook hands with the host as they walked past to continue to the next topic and thanked your tablemates who congratulated you. You snorted at Tsukishima, who said it was a little boring, like he didn’t have a page of notes from the presentation in front of him.

You turned to your boyfriend, smiling as you laced your fingers together. “Wow babe that was amazing! I don’t know what half those words meant but you did great, I’m so proud of you.” You flushed at his praise, squeezing his hand while you kissed his cheek before turning back to the host, who was announcing the next speaker. You don’t know what would’ve happened if you didn’t work things out, and frankly you don’t want to think about it, the two of you are slowly building this back to where they were, but this time your relationship is stronger. You’re happier than you’ve ever been, and that’s what matters.

[ourceliumnetwork]

Constellations

on AO3!

Rating: M / Lime Pair: Eskel/Geralt Summary: Eskel loves Geralt but their soulmarks don't match - he'd know. They're witchers, and scars are their business. As he joins Geralt in retirement, Eskel figures whatever he can get with the other witcher will be enough. He might get a little bit more than he thought he was bargaining for, but Eskel's never passed up a good deal.

My entry into the @eskelbigbang. Trying something new for posting fic so bear with me. Check out the awesome art by @dat-carovieh on their tumblr and twitter @ LupisLionstooth!

Eskel growled a little as he stumbled off the path, clutching the wound on his side. The scar on his face creased with his snarl as he collapsed into a tree. He hated being wounded. The blood loss was greater than normal and his vision swam as he tried to push forward. The horse beside him whickered softly at him as he tripped. A loose stone, probably—or at least he hoped. If there were nothing in the path that would be worse. That would mean he was worse off than he’d thought.

He needed to keep going. He had an appointment to make.

"You should meet me in Novigrad,” Geralt had said over cards last winter. They were several glasses of his horrible wine in (it wasn’t horrible, Eskel loved it, but he loved picking on Geralt more—loved making his nose wrinkle with irritation, and Eskel did prefer ale over wine but the wine made at Corvo Bianco was alright and, best of all, free) and having a quiet evening.

Most of their evenings together were quiet these days. How long had they lived now? How many of their friends were lost to the passage of time?

Lambert never stayed, preferring the road. They both dreaded his never returning but after the loss of his soulmate—the Cat Witcher that Geralt had helped avenge—he’d never been quite the same.

Ciri had grown up, grown into herself. She’d had a longer than average lifespan from her Elven blood, but she stayed with Yennefer more often than not, and had become a strong woman and mage in her own right. Yennefer, for her part, came and visited infrequently, lost often in her own research and pursuits.

Geralt’s bard, Dandelion, had retired from traveling, had owned a bar, had been a professor at Oxenfurt, and then, eventually, had passed in time from an old life lived long and lived well. Their other friends were either distant or dead.

So, things were quiet.

“Why would I meet you in Novigrad? I’m here?” Eskel had asked.

Geralt had rolled his eyes, “I mean when you’re not here. Back on the Path. We should meet in Novigrad. It’s a mid-point between here and your normal territory. And the biggest bookshop on the Continent.”

It was a tempting offer. And it wasn’t really like Eskel was going to refuse. They’d just never planned to meet before. Geralt had retired from the Path years ago, staying at his winery or traveling to meet his friends but never hunting monsters. Not that there were many monsters to find these days as it was. Eskel’s coin purse had been light for years, the only saving grace was Geralt’s hospitality during the winters, and his generosity with the funds that came in from the winery.

“Alright. Why?”

“Because I miss you when you’re out, dumbass,” Geralt groused with another eyeroll, the bite in his words sour and reminiscent of their younger brother-in-all-but-blood. The quick twitch of the corner of his mouth down and the tightness near his eyes belied the sincerity behind the words, however.

“Aww, I miss you too,” Eskel batted his eyes at Geralt sweetly, teasing, “Alright sure. I’ll meet you in Novigrad. When?”

Eskel was supposed to have been there days ago. But the contract he had been on was not only longer than anticipated but a larger beast as well. A more vicious one. And now he was injured and trying to make his way to Novigrad to meet Geralt.

He needed to meet Geralt there. He missed the man, his closest friend for the past century and a half, his only family. The closest thing Eskel would get to having his soulmate.

They didn’t talk about their marks. They used to. Before the Trials. Before everything had changed.

They were very young, the first time it had been brought up among their year group. Ten boys huddled around comparing the discolored skin that showed the closest their mate would ever come to death and recover from. They were in nothing but their smallclothes, sitting in a circle in one of the dorm rooms of Kaer Morhen and lit by only the fire in the hearth that kept the room warm in the cold nights.

Eskel’s mark was a series of dots on his arm, black-purple like bruises, peppered in regular intervals, dark lines running deep into his skin, touching the veins that brought blood to his hands, peppered in at the crook of his elbow. It was remarked by one that they were like stars—a description Eskel held onto for many years, even onto the Path itself, the constellations of Destiny drawing him to the match to his soul. Some boys had dark red patches on their chests, deep shadows of wounds-that-weren’t-yet slicing through their legs, their arms, their stomachs. One boy, Gweld, had a pale line running right across his throat.

Geralt’s was the biggest. A swath of pink skin from hips to shoulders, like he was flayed open and a new patch was sewn on in a slightly wrong color. Eskel’s heart hurt to see it. He liked Geralt best of the other boys, he wasn’t too loud when Eskel wanted to read, exchanged stories of knights and chivalry and wanting to be a hero with Eskel. And they of course got up to much mischief together, which Eskel always appreciated. To see him marked like that, to know that whoever Geralt’s soul was promised to would have to survive something that bad, was painful.

Eskel and the other boys knew Geralt’s soulmate was a Witcher. It was obvious. No one else would survive an injury that large, that deep.

Vesemir had caught them that night, scowling and barking to get back into their beds, that they’d all have kitchen duty in the morning and for the next week after for being out of bed so late. The boys had complained, whining as they got into their bunks.

The outline of Geralt’s soulmark was etched into Eskel’s mind for a long while after. Forever, really.

They’d discussed their respective marks privately at other times. Osbert had caught them out once, poking and prodding at one another, wondering what the cause of their marks would be, speculating on when they’d meet their soulmates. Would it be before they’d gotten the scars that would be representative of the marks on their bodies? Would it be after? What scars would they acquire and how would they show up on their soulmates?

Osbert had seen their marks. Saw Geralt’s and nodded, his eyes sad but knowing. Then he’d seen Eskel’s. The look on his face was one that Eskel wasn’t able to parse at the time, but as he looked back on the memory in later years, he realized it was devastated.

Eskel didn’t know what caused him to feel that way until he was strapped to the table during the Trials, mages and Witchers alike hovering over him. One of the mages had seen his arm, had nudged another beside him and said, “Look, this one already has where the needles go on his arm. Nearly labeled and everything.”

The laughter that had passed between the two mages frightened Eskel, but not more than the knowledge that his mate, the soul that matched his soul, the one that Destiny herself had picked for him, would go through the Trials, and that would be the worst thing they would survive. Would they die? On the table? He knew it was a possibility but…

Would he die before meeting his soulmate? That hurt worse, the thought of leaving his soulmate to the world without knowing what happened to Eskel. His brain raced through all the injuries he knew he’d acquired since coming to Kaer Morhen—which one was the worst one? Which one brought him closest to death? Which would be the mark on his mate’s body if he died on the table, chemicals and reagents and mutagens pouring into his bloodstream, changing his body?

For the first time in his life, he wondered if his soulmate would fear him after he became a Witcher, if he survived. And as the needles pierced his skin, their caustic, toxic mixtures seeping into him and altering him irrevocably, he cried.

Eskel, of course, had survived the Trials.

Geralt had, as well. Not easily, though. He’d been chosen for additional mutagens, extra tests, further Trials. Once-auburn hair that shone blood-red in the sunshine was snow-white. His skin was death-pale, and shadows seemed perpetually under his eyes. He had been unconscious when they’d brought him back up to the dorms, and Eskel had sat by his bed as often as he could, watching, waiting for his friend to wake up.

If he’d checked Geralt’s arms for the marks that still lay purple-bruised on his own, darker now with the pinpricks of the needles that had actually entered his arm, well… They weren’t there. His arms were as clear as the sky on a summer day. It was as if the Trials had not happened to him. Eskel knew that Witchers healed quickly, that the marks on his arm—the one’s he’d acquired, not the ones he’d been born with—would disappear shortly. But to see Geralt who had gone through more with nothing had…

Had…

Eskel hadn’t realized until that moment how much he desperately wanted Geralt to be his soulmate, until he had been so devastated by the undeniable truth that he wasn’t.

Eskel collapsed on the ground, the world shifting on its axis as he blinked foggy blurriness from his eyes. The horse behind him had stopped obediently. Geralt had trained him well, of course. Eskel didn’t expect otherwise from a man who had trained every single horse he had ever ridden—even if he did end up calling them all Roach.

He wasn’t going to make it to Novigrad.

It was the last coherent thought he had before he slumped to the ground, the world going dark around him.

Eskel had many wounds in his lifetime. Wounds that had brought him to the brink of death and he was saved only by the timeliest of Swallows, of magical healers, of mages. It was the fate of a Witcher. Their Destiny to be covered in marks from their profession. Some wore their scars proudly, some hid them away. Eskel didn’t really mind either which way. Not until Diedre.

The deep, horrible mark on his face certainly made him feel as though he were better off dead. It wrapped around the side of his face, tore part of his lip away leaving him with a constant snarl, reaching to his ear. He knew, in that moment, that whoever his soulmate was, had to hate him for giving them this…this…

This thing on their face.

It was also when he lost all hope that Geralt could still be his soulmate. That his best friend would ever become more. Geralt had always had a rather romantic idea of how soulmates worked. He would take his pleasure where he could get it in the meantime—as most Witchers did, but he would wait to have a romance with someone until their marks matched scars.

And Eskel, the fool, loved him for that. Loved him for his hopeless, idealistic view on soulmates, when in reality a soulmate was just a person, as flawed and horrible as every other person on the Continent. There were soulmate couples who hated one another. Those who never met. Those who hurt their mates, were the ones to give them their scars.

As soon as Eskel knew he was not Geralt’s he worried. He worried for Geralt because the man, despite everything was still soft on the inside, was still the boy with bright eyes who waxed poetic about becoming a Knightly Witcher, who would save the world, not just from monsters but from everything he could. The man who had wanted to name himself Geralt Eric Roger du Haute-Bellegarde entirely earnestly. The man who loved every horse he ever met and named them each after the same kind of fish.

Eskel worried because he could not protect Geralt if his soulmate hurt him, because Eskel was not his soulmate.

Eskel traced the constellations on his arm, the little stars that marked where his soulmate went through the Trials. That marked where he went through the Trials. Absently, late at night he wondered if they were someone he had already met.

After the pogroms and the attack of Kaer Morhen he no longer needed to wonder. If he hadn’t met them yet, they had probably already died.

It was years before he let himself consider that they had died even earlier than that. Likely the first year on the Path. He tried not to think about if they were from the Wolf school or another.

Sometimes he would run his fingers over the shape of the scar on his face, wonder if his soulmate could feel it—could have felt it, he sometimes reminded himself, they weren’t alive anymore, likely. He would think about what it would be to run his fingers lovingly over the mark that tied them together, let them touch his mark—the memories of the Trials were painful, traumatic for all who went through them, but maybe with the fact that it connected them together in so many ways it would be… better.

Eventually he stopped letting himself think about it at all. It hurt too much. It wasn’t Geralt, it would never be Geralt, and he would never know his soulmate.

And maybe, if he were really and truly honest with himself, he didn’t want to know his soulmate.

Eskel woke in a bed.

This was mostly jarring because he had the distinct memory of passing out in the middle of the road, but he’d woken up in worse places than a bed before. At least this time there were no succubi.

That had been interesting.

“Welcome back to the land of the living,” Geralt’s voice was gravelly as always, and coming from Eskel’s left hand side.

Eskel grunted as he turned his head to look at the white-haired man beside him. The ever-present dark circles under his eyes seemed darker than usual, the pallor of his skin waxier and wanner than Eskel remembered from the last time they’d seen one another.

(Geralt had been looking healthier since he’d retired, well-fed, relaxed. This looked like Geralt on the Path—something Eskel hadn’t seen in years, decades even.)

“You look like shit,” Eskel said, pulling his face into a rough approximation of a smirk. His body felt heavy and he could feel the familiar tug of stitches in his side. At least he wasn’t actively bleeding out anymore.

“Yeah, well,” Geralt started like he was going to retort, but his voice fell flat as his expression did something Eskel wasn’t sure he’d ever seen on the man before, “You’re lucky I caught your scent while I was out hunting or you’d have died laying in the road.”

“Business as usual, then,” Eskel grunted, attempting to sit up a little. Geralt moved quickly, faster than Eskel was anticipating, and a hand was on his chest, pushing him back down into the bed. If Eskel really wanted to, he probably could have ignored the hand but…

Geralt’s long fingers were cold and felt nice on his heated skin and it had been so long since their last hug in Toussaint before Eskel had left on the Path again. Maybe this year he’d actually talk to Geralt about retiring with him, about setting up in the winery with Geralt, becoming even-older-old men together. It wasn’t like the monsters were getting any more populous. He could take up a trade, maybe, and pretend he wasn’t made into a monster himself by mutagens and actions and scars. Maybe he could pretend they were soulmates again, that this was enough.

He suddenly remembered why he hadn’t chosen to retire with Geralt yet. Why he might not ever.

“Stay down, idiot. You’ll pull your stitches.”

“Doubt I need them much longer,” Eskel grumbled.

“The fact that I could see your intestines before I got you fixed up begs to differ.” Geralt’s eyes were narrowed, the slits of his pupils dark in the wheat-gold of his eyes.

“Eh, they needed a bit of fresh air,” Eskel’s joking tone didn’t quite hit, and Geralt’s jaw clenched as he swallowed thickly. Eskel winced, turning away, “That was dumb of me to say, I’m sorry.”

“No you’re…you’re right. It’s part of the job,” Geralt was leaning back, taking his hand with him and Eskel gritted his teeth together to avoid begging him to keep touching Eskel, to never let go.

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck,” Eskel shrugged.

They sat in silence for a bit, Eskel’s eyes feeling heavy again.

“You give me something for it?” He asked, his brow creasing in confusion.

“What?”

“For the…” He gestured to his side, “Did you give me something?”

“Nah, why?”

“Tired,” Eskel mumbles, feeling his eyes drift shut again. Though, perhaps the exhaustion is more from having pushed himself on the Path for days on end before his last contract, and then further while injured, from having little to no food because he couldn’t afford it and the hunting was scarce close to the griffin.

Perhaps it was being in a bed for the first time since he’d left Geralt’s side in early spring, or maybe just the safety and comfort of having Geralt by his side again, listening to the man’s steady, Witcher-slow heartbeat and the soft sound of his breathing.

“So sleep,” Geralt’s voice is fond in Eskel’s ears and he thinks it’s probably just his mind making things up as it slows from waking to meditation to sleep, drifting from consciousness to dreams with little to no effort.

Eskel thinks he could get used to it, and fears what that means.

Eskel wakes again and it’s morning. Sun is shining through the window in the corner and birds are chirping outside.

Geralt is asleep, leaned forward on the bed, head resting on Eskel’s lap, and hands clasped around Eskel’s own. Previously cold fingers are warmed by the heat of Eskel’s palms and something in Eskel’s chest clenches in a way he is all too familiar with.

Geralt’s hair is loose, unbound and a tangled mess around his shoulders. Several strands have fallen across his face, a lock of it draped over his eyes, closed in sleep with pale lashes fanned out over dark circles. Soft breaths huff between parted lips that move slightly with the dreams that he sees behind his eyelids—Eskel can see the shape of his eyes darting back and forth beneath the thin skin.

He brings his other hand up, the one unclaimed by Geralt’s grasping fingers, and gently pushes the hair out of the other man’s face.

Geralt is beautiful. And Eskel loves him. He loves him so much.

Golden eyes drift open slowly, pupils sliding from wide circles to rounded slits with the light as Geralt blinks, taking a moment to wake up.

“Hey,” Eskel murmurs, a smile sliding over his face—easy, this time, and he is sure his emotions are plastered all over his face but he can’t really find it in himself to care. Geralt is here. Geralt was worried for him. Geralt slept at his bed rather than in one of his own, holding his hand.

“Hey,” Geralt’s already rough voice is moreso from the sleep as Eskel brings his hand away from the white hair that slides through his fingers like water made semi-solid. “You actually awake this time?”

“Probably,” Eskel chuckles, resting back against the pillow to stare up at the ceiling. “Been a tough season so far.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He wants to explain, but also he doesn’t. He doesn’t want Geralt to worry about him more. He didn’t really want Geralt to worry about him injured, either, but that wasn’t his fault.

(Their trainers might have disagreed, might have said of course it was Eskel’s fault he had been injured on the Path, but they weren’t there now, were they?)

“What got you?” Fingers trace the line of the wound, healed already, the stitches already out, having been removed while Eskel slept. Eskel shivers.

“Griffin. Villagers weren’t exaggerating the size, after all.” Eskel pulls himself up to sitting, his muscles protesting after so long relaxed in sleep. “Got here in the end, though.”

Geralt snorts, “Barely.”

“Eh, I knew either you’d come find me or it was my time to go,” Eskel half-jokes. A mirror of their earlier conversation. A conversation they’d had about various wounds and injuries accrued over their extra long lifespans. Geralt’s face is impassive, neutral and shows nothing. Which means he’s very upset by this comment.

“Come back to Toussaint with me,” Geralt says, and his voice is soft enough that if Eskel wanted to he could pretend he didn’t hear it.

Eskel isn’t sure what he wants.

“Why?”

Geralt’s jaw works as his mouth stays shut. There are words, Eskel knows, caught behind teeth and tongue and throat that will not come out because Geralt’s mind won’t let them. Ever since Blaviken, he’d been like this. Their hands are still tangled together and Eskel squeezes Geralt’s fingers to his palm gently.

“Why do you want me to come to Toussaint with you in the middle of the season, Geralt?” He asks again. Sometimes saying it again, saying *more* helps. Sometimes it makes it worse. He desperately hopes this makes it better.

“I don’t want…” Geralt starts. Stops. Squeezes Eskel’s fingers back. Then he pulls away. “You’re probably hungry. I’ll get food.”

Eskel drops it. Geralt will come to him in his own time. Eskel will decide what he wants to do in the meantime. A few days rest as planned here in Novigrad will be enough for now.

Geralt comes back with food for them both, and Eskel’s body remembers that it is starving. They don’t speak much during the meal, and when it’s over they talk about everything other than Geralt’s invitation.

Geralt doesn’t bring it back up that day, or the day after. Or the day after that.

They spend a week together in Novigrad. Eskel raids the bookstore—it was very impressive, filled with tomes on tomes of books with knowledge and poetry and stories and everything and anything. Geralt came with him, though he only picked at the plays and atlases, but he purchased several books that Eskel looked at longingly, tucking them in his bags to travel, saying they will be waiting in the library for Eskel when he comes back.

Eskel decided that meant they were not going to talk about the invitation to Toussaint again unless he brings it back up.

The thing is, Eskel doesn’t want to leave Novigrad. He doesn’t want to leave Geralt. He doesn’t want to go back on the Path where he will be lonely and cold, where there is little food and fewer friendly faces. Back to monsters and fighting and nursing himself back to health, to glares and fearful children, to long stretches of time with no contact with anyone other than the horse and his reflection in the water.

He doesn’t want to risk not being able to get back to Geralt.

That night, he begins the conversation.

“We’ve been here a week,” Eskel observed, taking a bite of a soft, buttery roll. He was not sure what kind of money Geralt was paying the innkeep here but they have eaten well since Eskel arrived.

Geralt freezes momentarily. Had Eskel not been watching, he would have missed it.

“Yep.”

“Been trying to think about where to go next. Not many monsters up north anymore,” Eskel keeps his commentary light, his tone gentle and observational only. Nothing to indicate that he’s leading the conversation anywhere.

“Eskel.”

“Geralt.”

Ah, he has been found out. Figures it wouldn’t work on the man who has known him the longest of anyone alive in the world right now.

“I- I can’t-…” Geralt pushes back from the table a little, tension clear in his body and shoulders, “I won’t-”

“I was thinking I could head south. Maybe travel with you. Head to Toussaint. I know they were having vampire problems decades back. You think there are still any hiding out? I bet there’s an infestation in your library. I should really check that out, you know. Since you’re all out of practice and all.”

Geralt glares at him but there is a relief etched in his bones that Eskel can feel as he grins unrepentantly, feeling his stiff scar tissue crinkle the skin on his cheek as he does.

“You’re an ass.”

“Hmm, but you’re friends with an ass so I think that says more about you than me.” Eskel teases and Geralt rolls his eyes.

“Ass-kel.”

“Come now, Geralt. We’ve surely grown past the insults you thought up when we were twelve.”

“Not if you still act like you did back then.” Geralt points out and Eskel laughs. The tension breaks, and the two of them end up nearly giggling over their dinner.

It is good to hear Geralt laugh again. Eskel wonders when the last time he heard it was and realizes it’s been much longer than a season on the Path.

Travelling with Geralt is easy. It is also the hardest thing Eskel has ever done.

They camp on the road. It’s economical, and reminds them both of earlier times, times before the world changed and left them behind. It also leaves them with little to no privacy between them and Eskel has never wanted a wank more in his life than when he has to wake up and watch Geralt still asleep in his bedroll, or bathing in the stream. But trying to get off with another Witcher around is even more difficult than it had been to try and get off in a keep full of them—especially when he doesn’t want Geralt to know.

Because Eskel is sure Geralt would figure out exactly what was causing Eskel’s need as soon as he was caught.

Geralt’s back is nearly unmarred by scars, leaving his mark clear as the day Eskel first saw it. The mark Eskel has seen in his mind's eye for decades. Nearly a hundred years of thinking of that shape, the line of it. The pink is the same shade as it was before but seems so much darker, starker with the contrast to Geralt’s death-pale skin. The shock of color interrupted by fine scars from smaller wounds, and from the bright white hair trailing between Geralt’s shoulder blades. Eskel wants to run his hands over it, claim it, mark it up with bites and scratches and make it his because that mark ties Geralt’s soul to another and Eskel wants what he cannot have.

He turns away, usually, and does not watch as Geralt bathes. Does not imagine what he is doing, does not follow the sounds of the water moving as it is sloughed over skin, hands chafing at dirt to scrub it off, dripping, dribbling sounds as it is squeezed from the long locks of hair.

The trip to Toussaint from Novigrad is the longest it has ever been and Eskel is glad when they arrive at Corvo Bianco, greeted by the man Geralt has hired to run things in his stead. The rooms Eskel normally uses are clean and available for him and he realizes he has actually agreed to do this. He will be staying in Toussaint. He won’t be finishing the season on the Path. He will be with Geralt.

He doesn’t know if he’s made the right decision.

Geralt is far more relaxed in Toussaint than he ever was anywhere else. He allows himself to be open with his affections—something he lost when he went off on the Path, and gained back in fits and spurts after rearing Ciri. Hugs to his brothers for no reason, gentle touches to shoulders and arms and hands, leaning on them when sitting together, especially when drinking.

Lambert always scoffs and complains, shoving the man off and griping about how he’s become sentimental in his dotage. Geralt always grins and laughs, making a joke of it, teasing the youngest of their remaining family and ramping up the gestures to absurdity for his benefit.

With Eskel it is quieter, softer. Eskel always returns the touch, reveling in the chance to hold the man he cannot have. Arms around Geralt for the hug, squeezing him tight. A returned pat to the shoulder or back (where his mark is, don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t–), a squeeze of fingers when their hands touch. His arm wrapping around Geralt’s shoulders when it’s late at night and they’re leaning on one another, deep into their cups and watching the stars and the lights of the town below the vineyards as the night drifts on around them.

If he adds a few touches of his own here and there, well, it’s just to show Geralt that it’s okay to share these moments. And a kiss to the top of the head during those late nights is entirely innocent enough.

(Wishing it was more, wanting desperately for more, more, more, is just something Eskel has gotten used to after all this time. Wanting and wishing is one thing, acting on those is another and he won’t do that to Geralt, he won’t.)

So it is that they find themselves late into the night, out on Geralt’s balcony, several bottles of wine in, and Geralt resting his head on Eskel’s shoulder, Eskel’s arm not around his shoulders but further down his back, settling on his ribs. His fingers are absently tracing patterns through the fabric of Geralt’s shirt—if he’s tracing the line of the mark on Geralt’s skin, well…It’s on his back, Geralt probably doesn���t put that together.

Geralt sighs softly, a happy, content sort of sound, and turns his head into Eskel’s shoulder, headbutting it gently with his forehead.

“You good?” Eskel asks, his voice barely above a whisper. For some reason talking louder feels like it might break some sort of spell between them. Something that would cause them to have to part.

“Yeah,” Geralt hums, a smile visible from what little of his face Eskel can spy looking down at him, “Yeah, I’m… I’m good.”

“Good,” Eskel pulls him in closer, abandoning his tracing of Geralt’s soulmark through his clothes to lay his hand steadily on Geralt’s side.

“You?”

“Yeah. Me.” Eskel teases laughing a little, “I’m good.”

“Good.”

And it is. Good, that is. They’re happy. It’s warm, the last of summer fading into autumn, a breeze blowing and rustling the leaves of the vines in the vineyard below. They can hear music from the town—probably none of the human inhabitants of the land Geralt owns can, but the two Witchers are able to. It’s faint, what with the distance, but it’s audible and sets a nice background tone for their evening. There are bugs making chirping noises and night birds calling in the trees and it’s peaceful and everything Eskel never knew he wanted alongside everything he always wanted.

“Esk?”

“Hm?” He glances down again at Geralt, having been staring out at the lamplight across the valley in a daze, feeling Geralt’s body heat against his own and his thumb absently stroking against the ribbones he can no longer feel so starkly under Geralt’s skin.

Geralt’s face is… much closer than Eskel thought it had been the last time he’d looked down at him and now it’s moving even closer and–

“Ger?” He whispers when Geralt stops, a hairsbreadth from their lips touching.

“I–” Geralt stops again, pulling back a little.

“I didn’t say stop,” Eskel breathes, leaning in and connecting them together in a way they haven’t before.

Geralt is on him like a starving man on a feast, hands gripping at Eskel’s shirt, pulling him in closer, closer, closer. And Eskel goes willingly, opening his mouth to Geralt’s assault, letting him do the leading, finding out where Geralt wants this to go because wherever it is, however far, Eskel will follow.

His hands bracket Geralt’s sides, palms resting above hip bones and thumbs pressing gently into the softer flesh under his ribs. Eskel slides them up and down slowly, just a fraction of an inch in either direction, and Geralt makes a noise that Eskel has never heard him make before and suddenly Eskel is the starving man and Geralt is the feast.

They break for air when even their lung capacity is at its limit. Gasping and panting, Geralt leans into Eskel’s neck, biting kisses into the flesh there, bared because this is home, he is safe and needs no armor, no barrier between his vulnerable parts and Geralt because he can trust this man like he trusts no other on this earth.

“Fuck, Geralt. Geralt, I–” Eskel groans, tilting his head to the side to give Geralt more room, “How long?”

“Forever,” Geralt breathes and Eskel’s hands grip his hips, yanking him closer, closer still, burying his face into Geralt’s neck for his own marks to be made on the pale, pale skin.

“I’m sorry,” Eskel’s teeth bite at Geralt’s jaw, “I wish I’d known.”

“Please,” Geralt asks, “Please come to bed with me. I– I can’t. I can’t wait for you anymore.”

Eskel answers by grabbing underneath Geralt’s ass and hauling him up. Geralt inhales sharply—whether in surprise or arousal is hard to tell—his legs wrapping around Eskel’s waist as his arms drape over his shoulders. And then there’s more kissing, which honestly Eskel doesn’t know how he’s gone so long without because it’s perfect.

Geralt doesn’t have a mark on his face, and doesn’t have scars on his arm, but Eskel thinks that this has to be better than kissing your soulmate.

He carries Geralt through the door between the balcony and Geralt’s bedroom, carefully making his way over dirtied clothes and stray shoes and half-read books to reach the bed. His knees bump the edge of the mattress and he grins wickedly into the kisses Geralt is plundering his mouth with before releasing his hold on Geralt suddenly.

Geralt clearly did not realize just how much of his weight Eskel was holding, falling to the mattress with a shocked yelp of surprise before Eskel was on him again, leaning over him, pressing him back into the bed.

“Still good?” Eskel asks between kisses to Geralt’s shoulders and neck.

“Yeah. Yeah,” Geralt is nodding and his breathy words are half-whined, “Still good, fuck Eskel. Eskel I’m– I’ve–”

“I know. I know, I’m sorry.” The kisses he is giving to Geralt get gentler, softer, sweeter, “I’m sorry, me too.”

“You’re an idiot,” Geralt breathes, fondly, “The fuck did I do falling in love with a dumbass like you?”

Eskel’s heart is fit to burst at this and he looms over Geralt suddenly, “Say it again.”

Geralt is blinking with wide, dark pupils encompassing almost the whole of his golden irises, his hair is fanned out around his head like a snowy halo and Eskel wants more than he has wanted ever before and he didn’t even know that was possible but here he is. Geralt is with him, wants him, and he can have him and it’s so much more and so much better than he thought it would be.

Why the fuck did they wait so long?

“Fuck, Eskel. Eskel I love you,” Geralt’s hands rest on Eskel’s arms, but they’re sliding up to cup Eskel’s face, thumb tracing the scar from lip to cheek and back again, “I have always loved you, you stupid idiot. How the fuck have you not known?”

“When the fuck was I supposed to know?” Eskel asks, frowning, “You never said!”

“I thought you did! I thought you were waiting for your soulmate or whatever but maybe you’d settle for me eventually.” Geralt scoffs, “Seriously? You had no idea? I’ve been so obvious that Yen said something about it ages ago.”

Eskel wants to comment on the fact that Geralt thought Eskel was waiting for his soulmate when the whole time Eskel thought Geralt was waiting for his soulmate. He wants to say something about how low Geralt’s self esteem is that he thinks Eskel would have to settle for him, like Geralt isn’t the only thing in the world Eskel can’t put a price on if he absolutely had to. He wants to make mention of the fact that Geralt thought he was being obvious about it, that Yen somehow figured it out.

Instead he just grins down at Geralt.

“I love you too, you son of a bitch.”

It’s good, what they have. It’s pretty much the same as it was, but Geralt is even more physically affectionate and now Eskel can kiss him and hold him and Geralt kisses and holds him back. Geralt is very good at kissing and Eskel tries to be as appreciative of it as possible every time he is gifted with the opportunity.

They have not gone farther than rutting against one another through their clothes and Eskel can’t decide if that’s a good thing or not.

On the one hand, he very much wants to fuck Geralt. It’s something he’s been thinking of doing for nearly a hundred years, and now that he gets to be so close to it, it’s almost painful that he can’t. On the other hand, seeing Geralt’s soulmark while they’re intending on doing something intimate together, despite how many times Eskel has fantasized about marking it up, making it his, making Geralt his, he’s not sure he would actually be able to follow through with anything if he saw it in the moment.

Geralt, too, seems to be reluctant and that’s probably the main reason Eskel hasn’t made any motions to go further with it. They share a bed at night for sleeping, they wake tangled in one another, they eat together, they drink together, they hold and touch and kiss and say “I love you” to one another like it’ll be the last time they ever get to say it, like it’s the first time they’ve ever said it before, and it’s good. It’s so good. It’s more than Eskel ever thought he’d get, and it’s enough.

Eskel has taken to helping out in the fields for something to do during the day. It’s harvest season and they need all the hands they can get out there, so he joins in and assists. It’s warm in Toussaint, in the early autumn, and he is sweating and dirty when he comes in for the afternoon.

Geralt is sitting outside, drinking and reading his legs crossed as he reclines a little in the chair he’s sat in, reaching blindly for the glass of wine on the table beside him to avoid looking up from his book. Eskel smiles but does not interrupt, instead shucking his shirt off with a roll of his shoulders and taking the bucket of water beside the patio and upending it over his head.

The sluice of water is chilly enough despite the bucket’s position in the sun, and while bracing, it is also refreshing and feels good on his sweaty and overheated skin. He shakes his head out like a dog—or a wolf, he thinks to himself with a smile—his medallion clinking gently on his chest as he stretches out. Not quite as rigorous as a training session with Vesemir, but close enough. He might even be sore later if he’s lucky.

There’s a startled gasp from behind him and the clattering of a glass on wood, followed by a curse. Eskel turns around to see that Geralt has knocked his wine over and is desperately trying to clean it up while also not setting his book down in it. His movements are flustered and Eskel wonders what startled him so.

“Good book?” He asks, a laugh at the edge of his voice, amused by Geralt’s movements.

“What? Oh, uh. Yes. Yes very… very… um,” Geralt struggles to come up with a word. “When did you get that big scar on your back?”

“What?” Eskel blinks at the non sequitur.

“The big scar on your back. That’s– it’s– it looks old but I don’t think I’ve seen it before?” Geralt is affecting a tone that says he’s trying very hard to appear nonchalant, which means he’s failing miserably at it. Eskel crinkles his brow with a confused smile.

“I have lots of scars on my back, Geralt. You will have to be more specific.”

“It’s…” Geralt stands, still acting flustered, and turns Eskel around, laying a hand on the top of Eskel’s shoulder and dragging it down in a rough diagonal before tracing the edge of it—it spans the whole of Eskel’s back, and he thinks he remembers which one it was.

“Uh… Leshen, I think. About… twenty years on the Path? It’s been a while, Geralt, why?”

Geralt spins him around and takes his arm, pulling it forward and stretching his elbow flat. The network of dots on his elbow are visible to the sun for the first time in, gods, half a century at least—he’s tried to keep them covered as much as he can because looking at them was too much. A pale finger traces over them, slightly cool as usual. Eskel wants to take those fingers and chafe them between his palms to warm them up but he knows that would only work a little. Plus he kind of likes that Geralt’s hands are cool to the touch.

“Yeah, uh… that’s where they put the needles for the-”

“The Trials. Yeah. I remember.” Geralt whispers, his finger tracing a connecting line between the star-shaped marks, “Had it done twice.”

“Don’t remind me,” Eskel scowls, remembering the fierce terror at waking up and not knowing where Geralt was, learning that he was having more torture forced on him, then the recovery period where he had sat sentinel at Geralt’s bedside.

“Worst thing I ever lived through,” Geralt murmurs, glancing up at Eskel through white lashes and oh.

Oh.

“Oh.”

Eskel feels numb. And dumb. And like he’s been struck by lightning. Or a griffin. Or a Leshen.

Oh.

“So… we’re idiots, right?” Eskel asks after a moment.

Geralt laughs leaning forward to drop his head onto Eskel’s shoulder. Eskel’s arms come up automatically to hold him, threading fingers through his hair, loose and long and gorgeous. He finger-combs the locks as Geralt shakes, not answering him. Eskel doesn’t worry, it happens sometimes, that Geralt won’t have words.

He does worry a little when he catches the scent of tears, “Geralt?”

“Yeah,” He finally says, “Yeah, we’re idiots.”

“But you’re my idiot,” Eskel says and it’s the strangest, greatest feeling in the world that it’s unequivocally true.

“And you’re mine,” Geralt leans back, tilting his head to the side, and taking Eskel’s mouth with a fierce—but somehow sweeter than even their chastest—kiss.

They knock their foreheads together lightly, eyes closed for just a moment as Geralt’s hands reach up and cup Eskel’s neck and face.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

[bangtanlalaland]

a dose of relief | ksj (m.)

synopsis ⇣ the CDC’s hottest scientist so happens to be your lab partner. how much longer will it take until he has you begging for him?

— health scientist!au

⇢pairing: CDC health scientist!kim seokjin x female reader

⇢genre: crack, pwp, smut

⇢word count: 5.7k

⇢contents ⨯ warnings: so sorry for this filthy porn with no plot, I’m also horrible @ science (even though it’s one of my fave subjects in school) so plz forgive me if I said something wrong or certain facts are incorrect, I tried to not use so many details/specifics on the science ooey gooey stuff in case that could trigger anything amongst readers, srsly tho somebody call the fanfic writing police, omg, there’s so much tension lolol, Jin is a dom in this OMFG, masturbation, mentions of an outbreak (oops sorry), lab sex (yes, I really went there plz don’t judge me [I know I’m a dirty hoe]), semi-public sex? (not really, but almost) use of sex toys, hair pulling, spitting, face/ass/pussy slapping & licking (oop), unprotected sex (lolol the irony; STAY SAFE!), orgasms (duh), creampie, degradation, so much name calling (holy fuck), JIN HAS A BIG DICK OK (BECAUSE WE LOVE BIG DICKS RIGHT?!)

a/n: honestly I find it so hard to write for Jin & IDK WHYYY. so I couldn’t pass up this opportunity to let the light shine on him for this one. besides, Jin would make the PERFECT hOTTesT SCIENTIST. because WHY NOT?!?! oh & let this fic just be a reminder for those of you out there (you know who I’m talking about): WEAR A GODDAMN MASK.

Seokjin Kim.

The name of the most handsome man in the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and yet you cannot spend a minute around him without perspiring. Because, well, you’re convinced he just has that affect on everyone. When in reality, it’s really only you. You sweat bullets being around him.

And he knows this. Which is why he’s near you again, looking just as sexy as he did the day before, attired in his white, lab coat — his blonde tresses clouding your vision as he wanders through the lab. You internally curse the universe for having made you both cross paths. You’d often speculate why he’s working here as a scientist. Shouldn’t he be somewhere on the front cover of like GQ Magazine or something? But no, for whatever reason, in this fucked up world we live in, he’s currently in the lab with you, performing test results, by using various liquid solutions.

“Ah, I can’t wait to finally clock out tonight.” Seokjin states while flicking a test tube that remains between his glove-covered fingers, gently placing the blood sample along with other tubes in the tray to be put away in the cooler.

“Hot date I’m assuming?” You question with a secret hint of jealousy oozing from your words — observing a sample through the microscope, turning the knobs to adjust the coarse and fine focus.

Jin beams at your assumption, shaking his head, “Ah. Nice one. But no.”

Your gaze flies up to his towering figure, raising your eyebrows, “So what is it?” You try not to get too lost into staring at his plump, pink lips. He almost catches you eyeing him and you instantly look away, darting your vision back into the microscope.

“I have the whole weekend off,” He coos with a giddy expression, and you internally scoff. That fucker.

You shake your head, “Sounds great!” No, it doesn’t sound great. Because he’s probably happy that he gets to be off so he can be with someone- Wait, no. He’s clearly not going on a date. Duh, he just told you that. Okay, now you’re really just fishing for something, but you’re also jealous of him that he’s off the entire weekend. These past few months have been hell, courtesy of a recent outbreak — every official, scientist, representative and whomever in the CDC is currently working day and night, non-stop to formulate a vaccine. Therefore you shuck away your feels, because you know Jin has more seniority than you within the company. You’d only just been transferred to his department right before the outbreak had occurred.

“Some well needed rest, huh?” You question, an attempt to keep the conversation going while also being the nosey old woman you are deep down inside. “You need it,” You unconsciously continue, somewhat too occupied in ensuring the proper amount of the sodium hypochlorite solution drops are added, squeezing the pipette carefully.

Jin nods his head in agreement, “Oh yeah,” he sighs, “Could definitely use what I call the Four S’s.” Your eyebrows furrow, more-so at concentrating on your accuracy.

But you hear him, and once the final drop of solution has been added, you pull away from the microscope, discarding the pipette in the proper disposal bin. “Four S’s?” You ask, with a tilt of your head.

“Mmhmm,” Jin seats himself on the stool in front of you, placing his hand under his chin. “Soup, soju, sex, and sleep.”

You nearly topple over when trying to seat yourself, and he doesn’t miss your clumsiness either. He thought it was cute how flustered you suddenly became, and he knew why you had. The word sex having stood out amongst the others he’d mentioned. You’re smoking under his gaze, a sudden wave of heat flashing over you within the blink of an eye. Ugh, how you hate the way he does this to you. Whatever this is. With a flicker of his eyebrows, a coy grin creeps upon his face. And you nervously swallow a gulp, easing the parched feeling in the back of your throat.

Awkwardly, you clear your throat, “Sounds like one hell of a weekend.” He continues his smirk at you, and at this point you grow slightly annoyed. Oh, his stupid hot face. Why does he keep staring like that?

“What?” You deadpan.

With a suck of his teeth, he pushes himself off the stool and stands up on his two feet, “Don’t miss me too much while I’m gone,” he coos with a wink. Yes, the fucker actually winked! You had to double check within your mind that you’re fully conscious because you couldn’t believe he did that. Jin doesn’t flirt with you, like ever. And you know that even he knows this, that grin still plastered upon his face. How the hell does he do it? Do this to you?

The sound of the door clicking signals his departure, to what you only assumed he was going on his lunch break. But the real question is, does he know? He must know that you are attracted to him, otherwise he wouldn’t have insinuated you’d “miss” him. Fuck. You’re screwed and you know it. Unfortunately not in the way you’d like to be screwed.

—

The weekend didn’t fly by like a breeze as it normally would, but instead dragged. You thought at one point the time may have just frozen, but subconsciously you knew that wasn’t even remotely possible. Although, you’re convinced that the reason for it all is because Seokjin wasn’t there. Normally, you’d both share the same shifts on weekends and everything felt in tune. You’d complete tests, run samples, and literally anything else under the sun together. But the time felt different when with him, and you’re beyond relieved to find that the end of your shift approaches. You both say your farewells and do it all over again the next day. It became a routine, really, one that you’d grown accustomed to.

However, since his weekend off, you felt something change, and you didn’t like it. You noticed since the start of your shifts, he permeated an odd vibe. Jin wasn’t making eye contact with you, and hell he didn’t greet you when he clocked in. Even when you’d discussed to your boss that after copious amounts of research and tests, the sodium hypochlorite solution kills various diseases and viruses, including HIV/AIDS, although said concoction is overly toxic for ingestion.

Seokjin never spoke or added anything from his research to back up your claim, which was completely degrading to you, because well… teamwork — he made you feel as though the countless amount of hours you’d both spent in the lab together was a waste. So yes, it was strange. He was acting strange, and you didn’t know whether to be gloomy or pissed about it all. After the meeting with the board, discussing the current problems with hygiene and public health, you returned to your station with Jin. You decide to test the waters and break the awkward silence since he wouldn’t.

You clear your throat in an attempt to draw his attention, but fail, his back still turned to you, “How was your weekend?”

He continues his work, not even flinching when you’d suddenly spoke. He replies so fast you were convinced he just knew exactly what you were going to say and simply waited for you to do so.

“Great,” he retorts with a nonchalant tone. You hear a few snap-like sounds and immediately note that he’s placing his gloves on. He brushes past you and into the cooler, removing a tray of blood samples to set them down onto the counter. You bite back a remark and instead try again.

“Had any good soup?” You internally cringe at yourself for saying something so stupid, but you can’t help but be the curious cat you are. Then his silence doesn’t make it any better. Here you are again, “Or at least some proper rest?”

His eyes finally meet yours, and you can’t quite read his pokerface. “I did,” He adds with still the most blank expression you’d known him to make. His gaze drops back toward the test tubes he’s busied himself with.

You continue to probe him, even though your insides scream otherwise, “Couldn’t have forgotten about the soju too, right?” You question, a tone laced with curiosity. He makes a simple “mmhmm” sound, clearly understanding where you’re going with this. A brief moment of silence subsides between the both of you, and for a moment you appreciated it but another side of you just had to know. Your essence ached for an answer, even though if said answer wasn’t one you’d want to hear, you still had to know. And you swear the phrase, “Curiosity kills the cat” could explain this moment in time.

“W-what about….” You trail off, in hopes he’d catch on. His eyes meet yours, and you can’t help but want to shribble up under his stare — whilst his defined lids peer into you, as if cascading into your soul.

“What about what?” Jin knows the next question you want to ask, and part of him wishes you’ll just ask already. He needs your inquiry of his sexcapades, because truth be told, he has none; and he’s on the brink of bending you over on this counter and fucking you senselessly — a burning ache, desperate to release his pent up frustration, mixed with the daily stresses that come along with work. His eyes linger onto your facial features, searching for a warning that you’d finally cave in, that by some miracle you’d admit you want him in just as a lustful manner as he wants you. Needs you. His weekend having been a long, cold, and lonely one. He’d desperately yearned for a woman’s touch, a dry spell long overdue.

He notes how your lips part and eyes widen, as if you’re stuck like a deer in headlights and don’t know how to simply let the words flow from your tongue. His pink, plush lips catch your attention, his bottom lip protruding in a manner that’s tempting for you to simply lick the flesh — the need to graze your teeth along the tissue clouding your mind. You suck in a quiet gasp, but audible enough for Jin to hear you. The sudden twitch of his member down below, the visual of having you whimper underneath him having flashed through his imagination. You instinctively obscure any second thoughts of your actions, because if he didn’t want you to know then why would he have mentioned the “Four S’s?” It’s like he’s calling your name, indirectly. Seokjin knows how curious you’ve always been, and it’d be silly to not know such a fact. After all, you’re a scientist that works for the CDC.

The more dense part of you spills, “Well, you know-” His eyebrow quirks up at you, as if not falling for your little trap. No, he wants to hear you say it, he wants those words coming out of you and streaming to his eardrums.

That familiar hum he has a habit of making slips from him, “Hm- No, I don’t.

He proceeds to his previous endeavors, scouring through the cabinets for some tools. You stand there dumbfoundedly, and cursing your own self for not having the courage to just speak your mind. Seokjin marvels at your conflicted expression, thanking his own self for not giving in so easily — because he wants to confirm his assumptions and needs you to make that move. He definitely didn’t want to be the first to impose, just in case you were to reject him and immediately perform some type of backlash technique. The last thing he needed was to lose his job and/or face a lawsuit for harassment. He ignores your stiff figure and gracefully mixes various liquids into a beaker. Your fingers tap along the counter and mind races hundreds of miles per hour. Just do it.

“Sex,” You whisper. His stirring stops suddenly and eyes move to yours with a slight tilt of his head. “Did you… Have sex?” You add, voice barely above a whisper. Jin sighs in relief, as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders — the air now somewhat less stuffy, and he chooses to stifle back a moan of satisfaction at your question. And within an instant, he scoffs, sending a rush of discouragement over your being.

He shakes his head while a sly grin paints upon his face, “Wouldn’t you like to know, hm?” You roll your eyes at him, can’t even believe the audacity. Of course, you should have known he’d be comical about it. Because that’s what Jin does, which makes you question how he’d even passed the entire hiring process to be promised and given this position.

With a slight pull of your strands out of frustration, you retort, “What the hell, Jin? You were the first one to mention “the Four S’s” You make sure to exaggerate air quotation marks on the phrase.

“And now you’re acting like you can’t even say if you’ve gotten some over the weekend. What am I not allowed to ask you questions anymore?!” Seokjin stares at you with wide eyes, immediately making you feel guilty for your sudden outburst. But what was he to expect? How could he not think you’d be curious of how his weekend ended after revealing to you his much needed desires. You palm your face in embarrassment, not wanting to meet his gaze any longer. And that’s when he removes his gloves, discarding them in the designated bin, and the feel of his palms encase around yours, pulling you from your hidden position to reveal your face that’s now strained with a painful look.

“If it makes you feel any better… I haven’t had sex.” His sweet voice oozes of comfort, granting a sense of calmness to reside within you.

“It’s been so long, and I am actually going to lose my mind if I don’t soon enough.” His confession causes you to gasp lowly, and he notices this. You hadn’t realized he was still holding your hands, his fingers long and cold, rubbing light circles within your palms. You know that he’s telling the truth; his eyes screaming for attention. Jin is desperate, and you sense that, which would explain why he’d been so tense ever since showing up to work today. You take this chance to take in every feature he has to offer. His broad shoulders aiding to tower his figure above yours just as he constrains his neck slightly to glare into your eyes. Your mouth flies agape just by an inch, and you hadn’t realized how close Jin was to you. You could feel the warmth of his breathing from his nostrils hitting you like the heat boiling down below.

You had a dire need to just smash your lips with his to finally know what the pillow-y tissue feels like between your own. His deep, chocolate irises reeling you in and suddenly your hand clenches tight underneath his touch. He notices and releases his grip from you, not realizing he’d been holding you this entire time.

And then you break the ice suddenly, “I think you should get that taken cared of soon.” Jin watches your form whilst you depart yourself from the room. Entering the main hall, you hadn’t processed how warm the atmosphere in the lab had been — a thin sheen of sweat coating your face and neck, courtesy of Seokjin Kim.

—

And then things got weirder.

There was this unspeakable tension between the two of you. You hardly made much eye contact with him at work now. You trained yourself (somewhat) to not ask so many questions during your shifts together, and if Jin noticed this then he definitely didn’t show or tell that he did. You’d find yourself going home at the end of the day and pulling out your favorite vibrator just to orgasm at the thought of Seokjin and his rosy, juicy lips, slender fingers that you know could reach the highest of places; those silky, light, blonde strands that long for you to tug on them as he buries himself in between your legs. However, Jin does the same, even on that weekend when he was off. He coated himself in lubricant and acquired his pocket pussy to stuff his thick length through the silicone material, imagining that it was your walls encasing around his cock instead.

Bucking his hips upwards, wanton moans spilled from him whilst he continued to ride out the waves of pleasure he’d endured just by dreaming of you. He continuously re-played the sight of your face over and over again in his mind, when you’d looked up at him that day in the lab — with glossy, bright eyes twinkling of curiosity. He wanted right then and there to shove himself down your throat and make you choke on his big dick. At the moment his groin tensed up and balls ached to release his load, he moaned your name repeatedly, as if he was summoning you into his bed. Streams of his cum erupted into the sleeve, soaking his length with the creamy substance just as he huffed for air, an attempt to gain back his normal breathing pattern.

And then the next day…

He did it again.

But this time it was different. He opted for his palm instead and your voice. He scrambled through anything in his phone that could get him off, more like anything of you in his phone. Until it dawned on him. You’d left him a voicemail back when you first got hired, introducing yourself to him and asking him to give you a call back to discuss work-related matters.

Bingo.

Your voice sent tingles down his spine as it resonated through the speakers of his iPhone. Jin quietly hummed at your words, as if he was agreeing to what you were saying — even though it had nothing to do with sex or pleasing him in any matter.

“Wish you were here,” He slips with his eyes shut, whilst his palm eagerly strokes his stiff cock, fingers gently brushing along the vein on his shaft.

“Need you so bad. Want to make you scream my name.” He replays it again with a hiss through his teeth. Drips of precum seep from the head of his cock; he lightly grazes the flesh with his long fingers, stimulating the sensitive area. The squelching noises from his slick length can be heard throughout his apartment as he pumps himself vigorously.

Another uncontrollable hum spills from Jin when he replays the recording again, picturing you on your knees blowing him off until you lose your breath.

“Hi Mr. Kim!”

How much he loves when you call him that. He’d almost forgotten when you used to address him that way, until he insisted that you didn’t have to and to simply refer to him as Jin.

“Mmm, love it when you used to call me that,” Jin whispers softly.

His hips move on their own, bucking up into his hand. His thighs clenching as he continues to fuck himself through his palm, and with furrowed brows he claws the sheets of his bed at the sound of your voice.

“This is ____, I was just transferred to your department and was told to follow up with you for any questions I may have.”

Jin’s hums now turned into moans, “Oh, fuck. Want to make you cum on Mr. Kim’s cock.”

“Anyways, if you could please give me a call back then I would really appreciate it. I look forward to meeting you!”

Jin’s toes curl at the last statement, his lips part instinctively and thighs stiffen themselves. His impending orgasm approaches as he cries out in pure bliss, “Oh, yeah! F-fuck!”

His chest rises and falls when streams of cum project onto his abs, some coating his fingers — while he softly pumps himself to rid of the remaining secretions. His loose strands stick to his forehead, thanks to the built up perspiration due to the raise in his body temperature. Jin lies there with a shaky breath and trembling thighs paired with thoughts of you. How much he wished his cum hadn’t gone to waste, how he wished he could cum so much inside of you that you gush pools of his jizz when he removes himself out of you. And lastly, how he’s nearly on the brink of risking it all just to be inside you.

—

One morning you break through the doors of the lab you share with Jin, to find him peering through a microscope. You can’t take it anymore; it’s been too long since the day you’d met him that you wanted to literally devour him whole. The need to hold your composure now thrown out the window completely. You snatch your badge off of you followed by your coat and slam your hand onto the counter, startling him from his work.

“I need you to fuck me until my brain is dead and I forget who I am and that we are in the middle of a pandemic.”

Seokjin’s mouth and eyes fly as wide as they can go. Without hesitation, he perks up from the stool and nearly tumbles over to tear his gloves off, remove his glasses, coat, and protective mask. He hurriedly washes his hands in the nearby sink, his eyes still traced on your uptight form. With lips still parted, he makes his way back to you and grips your sides, caressing you as if he’s admiring this moment of you standing here in front of him, begging for only him. He can’t process what’s actually happening and so he opts to do so later, and instead just appreciate this moment  — a dream that finally came true. Unexpectedly, he lunges you against the counter, causing your back to hit the handles of the drawers.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to say that?” He admits with a tone that’s mixed with lust.

Jin’s warm breath breezes past your face, sending a wave of chills down your spine. He cups your cheeks, and captures you in a heated kiss. His plump lips smooth out your own, a faint hint of coffee left on his tastebuds that signals you he more than likely had a cup of Joe this morning — your kisses filled with a fiery passion you didn’t know would finally come to light. His hands fall down to grip your waist in a feverish manner. Your fingers laced into his hair, an action you’d wanted to perform for what seems like forever now. His strands feel like satin under your fingertips.

His hands trail down to your ass cheeks, gripping the cushions with a hungry force. A rush of wetness seeps into your panties, and you silently convince yourself that you’d never been more horny until now. With teeth and tongues clashing, hands roaming along each others bodies, you both lose yourselves within each others touch — drifting into the euphoria of finally being relieved of the backed up tension that accumulated over these lonesome months. This moment in time was everything Jin had wished for. He yearned to have you in this way, and he’d only accept it if you were comfortable with doing so. The pang in his groin area throbs due to his high libido. Those nights he’d spent jerking himself off to the thought of you were now just a memory. When the burning need to breathe approaches, you both pull away panting for air. Jin’s already full lips now swollen and wet, his gorgeous almond-shaped eyes staring down your form in awe.

Your palms rest on his wide shoulders, caressing them with desperation.

“Please, Jin.” You plead with a whine. Within a swift he turns you around and bends you over. Your grip lands on the counter, knocking down the numerous utensils he’d previously been using, an almost failed attempt at keeping your balance. Jin roughly pulls your garments down, showcasing your panties. He brushes his digits along your covered core that pulses, almost as if speaking to his fingers. He applies more pressure, earning a small whimper. His erection gradually growing itself behind his briefs. He uses his index finger to pull your lacy undergarment to the side, a final reveal of your juicy lips. Your core clenches in front of him, as if calling to welcome him within your walls.

And suddenly a harsh slap lands on your delicate womanhood. You nearly fall apart on the spot at the abrupt infliction.

“That’s Mr. Kim to you.” He slips harshly and yanks your panties down to your ankles, your feet having tossed them somewhere in the distance. You hear the unbuckling of his belt, and he swiftly drops his trousers on the ground along with his briefs pooling at his ankles. His erect cock springs up, teasing the cheeks of your ass. And before you could even turn your head to take in the view of him, Seokjin slaps your lips a few times, the tip of his cock grazing against your clit while doing so. He then shoves himself entirely into you within one go, not even thinking to spare you even just for a moment. You knew you didn’t have to actually see his dick to know how big it is because damn did he stretch you out like you’d never been stretched before. You relentlessly pulsate around him, soaking him in your juices.

The pads of your fingertips grip onto the edge of the countertop. “Oh fuck me, oh!”

“Wow, you’re so tight. Fuck.” Jin moans. You find your hair being pulled back; he whispers into your ear, “I’m going to fucking give it to you, you hear me?” His large palm lands a rough smack to your ass cheek.

“Yes! S-sir!” You cry out, and another slap reoccurs, a familiar tingly sensation shoots straight to your heat. You didn’t think Jin was this dominate, but you’re convinced after such a drastic period of time, it would only make sense that he’d release his tension as he pleases. He creates his own brutal pace — relentlessly pounding your pussy out with no mercy. Your body bounces forward from Jin’s ferocious strokes, and your scalp aches from his tug on your hair.

“So wet, so tight,” He whispers to himself, blowing yet another smack to your bottom, followed by a gentle rub, an attempt to ease the soreness. You’re sure he’d leave a mark on you. The sound of his balls clapping against your cheeks resonates through the lab, and you internally pray that no one walks in because how fucked you’d both be if that happens. But at the same time, you really could care less because you’re being fucked by the hottest man in the company and that’s what matters right now.

“Fuck me, Mr. Kim! Please don’t stop!” His tug on your hair gets tighter. His delicate strands flapping up and down in the process of him hammering into you, his Adam’s apple bobs as moans emit from him, and his cock drenches itself in your arousal. He cherishes the sight of his dick entering and exiting your kitty, only for him to thrust forward into you with a sharp jab. He treasures your soft whimpers and cries of his name.

Jin pulls himself out of you completely, and you whine at the sudden loss of contact.

“Turn around,” With shaky legs, you comply and Jin gestures you to sit down on the stool — wrapping his arms under your knees and pulling your legs apart as wide as they can go, your drenched cunt on full display for his horny being.

You can finally see him and nearly cum on the spot at the sight of his huge cock. It’s beautiful, he glimmers of your wet — his mushroom tip approximately the same shade of color as his lips. He gives your pussy a few taps, mimicking a “knocking on the door” motion. The tip of his member prods your entrance, your fingers grip his forearms in hopes to not crumble from his ministrations, your legs eagerly wrapping themselves around his small waist. Once Jin’s length pushes past your folds, your walls immediately welcome him inside.

A fervor moan spills from you, and this time he doesn’t let up on your tender core, continuing where he left off with his rigid pace. With one hand gripping your waist, he uses the other to grip your neck, “Look at you all needy and desperate,” He slaps your face teasingly, earning a yelp from you. “I knew you wanted me this whole time.”

Another slap with a bit more force. A soft gasp falls from your fucked out self.

“Wanted me to destroy your tight little pussy just like this?” He forces a deep thrust, followed by another and another and another, gaining a strained cry from you. Your walls contract around his hardened length, begging for his motions to never stop. He slaps you again, making sure to leave a mark behind on your cheek.

“Speak when you’re spoken to.” He uses this time to slap your clit harshly, unsatisfied with not receiving a response from you.

You whimper in reply, a sudden jerk of your thighs, “Y-yes, Mr. Kim!”

Jin slaps you again, “Who’s a cock-hungry little slut for Mr. Kim?” He continues to slap your face again, alternating between your left and right cheek.

And again.

His filthy words cause a tingly sensation straight to your core, “Me. I-I am a slut for you, Sir.”

And again.

That familiar hum rumbles from Jin’s chest, an approval laced in satisfaction, “Mmm, that’s right. You’ll walk around this facility with my cum buried deep inside you. Understand?” He punctuates his question with a thrust so deep, you swear you feel him in your tummy.

“Yes, Sir!” You cry out with trembling legs. He’s hitting your sweet spot so well, and with another slap to your face, your eyes prick with tears. Jin’s overpowering demeanor is nothing like you’d ever seen before.

“Play with your clit.” He demands, and you follow. Your fingers find the nub to gently rub along the sensitive nerves, causing your thighs to twitch within Jin’s hold.

“Harder,��� he commands. You comply and add more pressure, a boiling heat rising in the pit of your tummy. You close your eyes and focus on the sounds of Jin’s panting and your thighs smacking against his. He lands another harsh slap to your face, and squeezes your cheeks together with one hand.

“Open your mouth.” You obey him and find yourself opening up as he requests. He drops a line of his warm saliva onto your tongue, and demands, “Swallow.”

Your clit throbs in pleasure and he notes you’ve stopped rubbing yourself. With a gulp, you ingest his spit with a whimper. Jin slaps your clit this time, your legs naturally jerking in response.

“Did I tell you to stop touching yourself?” He probes while halting his thrusts. You nod your head in a no gesture, “N-no Sir.”

He slaps your aching clitoris repeatedly, then pulls himself out of you. Your walls cry at the loss of his thick cock. He bends down to forcefully slap your pussy, running his fingers along your dripping heat and within moments he lewdly spits on your wet folds, his saliva now glistening your already soaked labia. His tongue darts out to slither along your lips and he places a wet kiss to your clit before pulling away.

“I’d love to keep eating you out, but I’ve been dying to get inside this pussy,” He sheathes his member back inside of you and buries himself to the hilt, pulling back out all the way and slamming back into you. He releases another trail of his spit onto his shaft, smothering himself more. He licks the pad of his thumb and rubs your clit relentlessly, while giving you short and fast strokes; and suddenly your toes curl themselves at the same time your eyebrows furrow.

Seokjin notices your contorted expression, and with a beaming grin, he coos, “That’s right. Cum for Mr. Kim like the good, little slut you are.”

“Cumming, Oh fuck!” Your body quivers within his hold while your orgasm overtakes you, even the stool you’re still seated on slightly skids across the floor beneath you. Jin helps to ride your orgasm out, applying just the right amount of pressure as you writhe underneath him. Your nails graze along his clothed biceps, his sleeves now scrunched and wrinkled, and you honestly have no shame — too lost in being drowned into your orgasm.

He groans at the feel of your cunt contracting around his cock, his thrusts now gaining a sloppy momentum. “Fuck, didn’t know you could get so tight.” His eyes fall down to his cock — the sight of your lady lips sucking him in entirely and contracting around his shaft tips him over the edge.

Seokjin gazes into your eyes with parted lips and lets out a shuddering moan dipped in ecstasy, his nails dig into the flesh of your waist as he rides out his high.

“Fuck,” he breathlessly says. A sudden warmth down below causes you to witness Jin’s cock pulsing as thick ropes of his cum surges into you, painting your walls and filling you up entirely of him. He joins you in watching himself gradually ease out of you. You clench your walls intentionally; Jin’s cum drains from your fucked out heat and drips onto the ground.

You both remain in silence, the sound of your breaths filling up the entire space. Before you could even process what just happened, or simply let out a syllable or two, the double doors of the lab burst open.

There stood a tall, slender man with glasses and a dark-chocolate, bowl cut. His deep, baritone voice sends a shuddering chill through you.

“Someone’s got a lot of explaining to do.”

“Ah, shit.” Jin whispers, with both hands on his hips and his soft length now flaccid. You cover your face in your palms, in full shame.

[iconic12]

Tough Love - Asahi

Tough Love - Asahi

Any music is fine <3

Pairing: producer!Asahi x internproducer! gn reader

Warnings: insecurities, shouting(?), anxiety (?), a mention of crying

Genre: Angst, Fluff (at the end)

Author’s Note: Hi! This is pure fiction! I just got any song for the story, so you’ll be seeing some random titles every now and then. I’m not a producer so there may be some inaccuracies. Anyway! Hope you enjoy this fic!! Keep reading under the cut! <33

The day is done, and the night is coming. I’ve been working hard for the past 12 hours at the studio for the upcoming evaluations. I’m here, working as an intern at YG Entertainment. Hoping to find a place here to make a career out of. My other friends are in the other rooms also working their heads off. Our assignment is to make a song, and it has to be perfect. This is our first evaluation. If I fail this, the judges will get the wrong impression of me.

Someone knocks on the door. “Y/N!! OPEN THE DOOR I NEED HELP!” “Yes Bora, what do you need?” I answered. “I can’t think of any lyrics!”, “well that happens sometimes, I don’t know what to do either. I mean, I have the melody down, but I can’t think of anything to write about.” “We are both going to fail, aren’t we” “HEY! Don’t say that. We got in for a reason. So, all we have to do is work our hardest.”, “You’re right, thanks. I’ll write about that!”. “Wait what?” Before she could hear me, she closed the door and ran to her studio. ‘Hmmm, everyone seems to be getting things right nowadays…. Can’t say the same for myself” I thought. Just go to keep on working I guess....

The next day..

Evaluation day. The most dreaded day of every intern and trainee. Everyone is panicking and it’s scaring me even more. “Interns, please come inside the practice room” Okay, it’s time. I have to be confident, or else I’ll be an easy target. “Hey, are you scared?” Bora asked. “Of course I am, these are professionals who are going to be judging us.” “You can do this bff, don’t be too scared.” “Thanks!” We sat down on the benches, and waited for the mentors to come in. A few minutes later, the door clicks and reveals our three mentors and two guests. “Omg they are the treasure members” “It’s Asahi and Choi Hyunsuk sunbae” “Omg they’re legends” as the amount of murmurs grew, our head mentor spoke up. “For our evaluations from now on, we’ll be having guest mentors, Asahi and Hyunsuk of Treasure, joining us. Please give them a hand.” After the applause ends, he speaks again. “Okay, let’s start the evaluations. Beware that we have the camera to record your progress. Thank you” As they go through all of our names, the more I get nervous. I’m panicking, help.. I can’t do this. As I was thinking to myself, I was cut off.

“L/N Y/N '' Okay it’s time. I stood up and went to the front. “Hello, I’m L/N Y/N.” “What’s the title of your song?” “It’s called BBIBBI (original by IU).” “What’s it about?” “It’s about the toxic society we live in and the standards put up by the media for artists” “Okay, let’s hear it” I clicked the play button. They all have blank faces, what are they thinking? Do they hate it? As a train of thoughts kept on running, I didn’t realize that the song ended until one of the mentors spoke up. “Okay, what do you think of the song?” he asks the panel of mentors. “It was enjoyable and the vibe was nice,” says the head mentor. “Thank you” As each of the judges give their comments, Asahi speaks up, “I didn’t really enjoy it, it’s not exactly my type and it was kind of a typical topic to write about” he says blatantly. Ouch, that hurt. Oh my god, that’s so embarrassing, the mentors must think I’m stupid or something. After an awkward silence, someone speaks up, “Okay thank you, next”

“Okay, thank you for attending. Results and rankings will be up in three days. Thank you.” As everyone starts to leave the room, Bora stands up and pulls me with her. “Come on, it’s not that bad.” “It's horrible Bora, I was completely embarrassed over there. I was put on spotlight and was given the worst comment a producer could get. TIMES 3! I just want to bury myself in a hole and disappear. You didn’t even see the way others were looking at me. They were looking at me with pity, PITY!” “Hey, don’t say bad things about yourself. Just move on and let’s keep on working harder.”

Three days pass and I rank at the bottom. God this hurts.

Months later…..

Months pass by, month after month, after month. Nothing but criticism. From him.

I feel like I’m not going anywhere. It’s starting to get to me. Am I not good enough? Am I really as bad as he says I am? This is killing me. There is another evaluation coming. I really want to disappear right now. I can’t do this. They don’t know the amount of times I had a breakdown in my studio. It hurts too much to still be here. Just one last evaluation. One more, if it goes wrong, that’s the last straw for me. I just have to give it everything, I guess.

This is my last song. This is it. Hopefully this will work.

Evaluations are on going. My name is called. “L/N Y/N” “Okay, what’s the title of your song and what is it about?” “The title is How You Like That and it’s about saying goodbye to a toxic and painful past, and leaving those who hurt you behind.” (this is just a version to match the story!) “Okay, play it for us then.”

I waited as their eyes were judging me, shaking their heads every now and then. Great, they hate it. As the song ends, they say, “Thank you, next”

To cool off some pressure, I went to a café to get a drink. As I sat down after ordering, someone approached me. I look up and I see a middle-aged man. He hands me a card and says, “Hello, I am Kim Myeong Jun and I’m the head of Music Production at SM Entertainment.” “Oh, hello! May I help you?” “I heard that you are an intern producer at YG. We heard a snippet of your work and we would like to offer you a position at our company as a producer, not an intern.” “Wow, that’s great…” “You don’t have to decide right now, we can give you a week to think about it. Hope you could consider our offer.” he smiles and says. “Thank you so much, I’ll think about this and I’ll call you about my decision.” I smile back. As he stands up and leaves, I think to myself, ‘This is great. Should I take it?’

After much thought, I decided to take it. It hurts too much to still be in a company that doesn’t appreciate my work.

The next morning, I walk to the office and ask for a resignation form. Although, I don’t understand why the woman at the desk looks at me with shock. Did something happen? Anyways, I have a day to move out and submit this. I have to hurry up. While walking in the hallway, I accidentally bump into somebody. “I’m so sorry!” I look up and I see him, Asahi… “Oh, hello sunbae.” He greets back and all of a sudden asks, “What’s that in your hand?”, “Oh, this is a resignation form.” “You are leaving the program?” he asks. “Yeah, I got a better deal somewhere else, so I have to resign. I’m sorry but I don’t have that much time. I’ll see you around.” I bow and turn around to leave. “Why are you leaving?!” he shouts. I huff and turn around. “It’s because of the treatment I get here. I get treated like trash and I get nothing but degrading comments from you and the other mentors.” “It’s for your own good!” “No it's not!! You aren’t teaching me anything but to feel bad about myself! You hate me just admit it!” “Hey! Nobody said I hated you” “Then why do you treat me that way? Huh? What did I ever do to you?!” I said. “You are a good producer. That’s what you are. Okay? You are good and I’m teaching you the way I was taught. With pressure. I don’t hate you. Your last song was very good, the best we’ve heard in months from any intern. But it was your choice to leave and quit.” he says. And he walks away. Leaving me in shock.

A few months later…

I’ve been doing great here. I really enjoy being here and making a contribution to artists’ music. I still keep in touch with Bora and everyone else and it sounds like it’s going great over there. I just feel kind of bad with how I left things with Asahi. I was so disrespectful. I still think about it every now and then. I wish I could apologize, but I can’t do anything about it.

Mr. Kim comes into the room and says, “Okay! We are having a collaboration with YG Entertainment so here is the list of people joining us for tomorrow’s meeting.” YG?! Oh my god. I take a look at the list, and I see my name. Of course it’s there, I think. “Hey Y/n, didn’t you work there before?” Yoojin, another producer, asks me. “Yeah, but I was only an intern.” “Oh, interesting. You’ll be having a blast from the past I guess!” “Yeah, I guess.”

The next day...

Wow. It feels different to be here again. I got out of the van and followed Mr. Kim into the building. They really upgraded their system, I thought. We are led to a room and I greet everyone. “We are just waiting for some people if you don’t mind waiting.” someone says and we just nod. “Hello, sorry for being late.” I look at who says that and I see someone who I never thought I would see again. Asahi and his members. Great. The universe is really not on my side, is it.

After the meeting, someone walks up to me. I look at who it is, and I see Asahi. “Hi. It’s been a while.” he says. “Oh hi, yeah. It has been a while.” A silence washes over, and I say, “Um, I just wanted to apologize for how I acted, you know, last time we met…” “No, it’s my fault. I was the one who was too harsh on you. I apologize.” “Oh, it’s alright. So, does this mean we’re okay?” “Yeah, we’re good,” he says and smiles. “Would you like to help me out with something?” he asks. “Sure, why not?” I said and smiled as he led me to a studio. ‘He’s not as bad as I thought he was,’ I think to myself.

What they didn’t know about those bad experiences was that it was the start to a blooming friendship.

The End

[unknown-lifeform]

1, 4, 9, 24, for ff7?

Thank you for the ask! I do love to rant about things lmao. I'm putting everything under a read more because I'm opinionated and I'll let people skip the post if they don't want to see salt

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*

Mm. I would say for the majority of popular ships I can get where people come from. Which doesn't mean I share the ship, there's definitely ships I don't like, but I also see which interactions made the ship popular.

I think the only ones I don't get are the popular Vincent ones. Vincent had interactions with Yuffie in DoC, sure, but I just can't read them as romantic. And... big controversial here, I don't get Valenwind. Which I'm sorry about, because I have friends who are very big into it, but I just don't understand how it became so popular. It's ok in fics, I've read some fics that had it and were good, just... how did so many people pick it?

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*

Cloti and Clerith Cloti and Clerith oh my god I can't stand either one of them anymore. And I get why people ship them! I do! But the shippers are so toxic I can't look at these things anymore.

Like yes I guess they have some chemistry but also it's extremely lukewarm for both ships. It's like this by design. You have the option of going on a date with either Aerith or Tifa (or Yuffie or Barret, if you manage to get the secret combination of dialogues right), the game does give you hints of possible romance between Cloud and either of them to get you invested. But it's ambiguous hints, because the game lets you choose, and so they can't make either pairing too canon. And like at first I was neutral on both these ships, I wasn't into them but I could see the appeal.

But no, people have been arguing about which one is the One True Canon Ship of ff7 for 25 fucking years now, bringing "proof" that one ship is more canon than the other, they've carried on this ship war longer than I've been fucking alive, and when they get bored of bullying each other they go bitch at people who ship Cloud with other characters. And tbh neither side even cares about Tifa or Aerith as a character - it's all arguing about which one is the better prop for Cloud and shitting on the other, but then they go and make the girls the blandest versions of themselves imaginable.

I'm so sorry for the Cloti and Clerith shippers who aren't like that, it must suck finding good people to follow, but also seeing either ship makes me want to start biting.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

I would say the Shinra Board - President Shinra, Hojo, Heidegger, those people. But also 90% of the fandom hates them because they are horrible people so it's not really controversial.

The saltier take I have is that Lucretia was a horrible person too. And half the fandom agrees with me, while the other half is up in harms about how she was a victim. Like, sure, at the end she was. But also this is a woman who willingly got into unethical human experimentation, fell in love with Hojo of all people because she admired his scientific dedication (to put alien DNA in babies), and let Hojo put alien DNA in her unborn fetus to see what happened. And then Hojo took the baby away from her and she was surprised by this! Like girl I'm sorry about the alien powered mental illness but you only have yourself to blame here. And DoC had the gall to try to convince us that she and Vincent had some tragic story going on when she what? Lied to him for months and then put a demon inside of him? God, how romantic.

24. Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not?

Yeah, I'd totally recommend FF7 to people. The lore is very extensive, the plot may not necessarily be the most original by today's standards but it still holds up damn well, the music is to die for, and there's also open criticizing of capitalism, military propaganda, and unethical scientific approaches. Personally I also love the various sequels and prequels that make up the Compilation (although DoC is on thin fucking ice), but if one is only interested in the original game that's also a fully completed story. Which is more than I can say about a whole lot of games that ask you to have played other 364 things to understand them.

Gameplay wise, I've only played the OG so... if you like old jrpg with infinite grinding, you'll love that one. The graphics haven't aged well, although the polygon people are charming in their own way. Unfortunately idk how CC, DoC, or the Remake are when it comes to the gameplay (cries in not having any hardware that can run Remake).