#I only need to fix chemistry and physical education

[selliho6530]

I don't want to stay for a second year, help me😭😭😭😭

[somanywips]

Silly headcanons I have for Sanji and other strawhats:

Sanji has Terrible handwriting. He writes solely in cursive and he writes as if he has milk on the stove (aka really fucking fast) so his handwriting is almost unreadable. Robin is the only one who can read it, mostly because her own handwriting also fucking sucks.

Nami has the prettiest handwriting you've ever seen, but she writes So Fucking Slow and that's because she draws her letters.

Ussop's favorite art media is actually gouache paint, but he doesn't use them much because the humidity made them basically melt so he mostly uses acrylics and oil paints, as well as pastels.

Everyone has touch related sensory issues, with the exception of Franky. However, most foods just have really icky texture to him, and he didn't manage to fix it when he became a cyborg, but he's always down to work with Sanji to try out new foods so his diet isn't just burgers and cola.

Zoro is, for whatever reason, really good at embroidery. Like, he can make really intricate stuff but usually gets bored halfway through and goes back to training. It comes in handy when he's injured tho!

Sanji has this really really thick North Blue accent (either Spanish or Polish) when he's just woken up and not even because He's originally from the North, but because Zeff is, and Zeff has the heaviest accent in the world. It's kinda funny cause his accent sounds Nothing like the one from Germa (French)

Robin's the one who speaks the most languages out of all the Strawhats, having a good understanding of about 10 different languages and being fluent in other 6. Nami and Sanji tie in second place being fluent in four languages each, English, German, Polish and the common language in OP (aka Japanese) for Nami and French, Spanish (from Spain), Portuguese (from Angola) and the common language for Sanji, Franky's in third with 3 languages (English, Spanish [mexican]) with the other members only knowing 2 (Yoruba for Ussop, Russian for Chopper, Portuguese [Brazilian] for Luffy, Korean for Zoro, German for Brook and Swahili for Jimbe, all of them speak the common Japanese as well).

Zoro helps Nami with the accounting of the ship. They're both scarily good at maths (not even like basic maths, no, they both be doing integrals and shit). Ussop and Franky are also very good at it, but on a more practical sense, Franky is also really good at physics, while Ussop should be getting a masters in chemistry. Chopper is obviously very good at biology and (organic) chemistry.

Sanji is Not good at maths. He knows the basics, enough to do what he need to do, but put anything more than a simple equation (the ax+b one) and he's gone -> he actually didn't get any formal education besides the one from Germa, but he couldn't keep up with his brothers (aka they were teaching a toddler in the same pace they would adults, and the Vinsmoke children are basically copy machines) and his time in the rock severely impacted his development. Zeff taught him what he could, but he himself also didn't get any formal education. They both never really needed it, so it wasn't really an issue. They both know a Lot about nutrition and anatomy, tho (they just don't use technical terms).

Nami also didn't have any formal education, but she taught herself a lot of things from books and sheer stubbornness. All her knowledge of climate, weather patterns, and navigation are 100% self-taught

Sanji is a walking fish encyclopedia

Zoro is a walking Sword encyclopedia

Ussop can solve rubiks cubes in less than 1 minute and refuses to tell Luffy and Chopper how he does it

Luffy has a really good nose, he can pick out individual smells really easily so he always knows when Sanji bought more meat and what kind of meat he bought

Robin is Really bad at dancing, like really really bad, but she makes up for it with enthusiasm

Okay that's it for now kswkoqql. I have a lot more, especially for Sanji but that's because he's my wife

[lisztomaniac-mp3]

friendly reminder that this is how the american education system works:

Chemistry - B - 86.5%

Spanish 1A - A - 92.6%

Video Production - A - 93.5%

Health 2 - B - 83%

Statistics - C - 79.5%

Marketing - A - 95.8%

Sports History - F - 55%

English - C - 76.8%

TLDR: get your shit together our society is shit and the cut off for a failing grade shouldn't be 50-60%

full thing below ↓

If you're American, l probably wondering why tf this matters. I remember a long while ago reading a Tumblr thread of a bunch of people from Europe and I believe even a person from Brazil being absolutely horrified that 50% or 60% = F. Y'know why? Because it's bullshit. If you succeeded with 50-60% of the material, you didn't fail. The grading system is fucked. The entire education system is idiotic and I guarantee everyone here that I could fix it. Our education was made to pump out factory workers, and despite the very small miniscule changes that have been made, the system is stuck. The cogs are rusty and they need replacing. The entire idea of grading is outdated and doesn't work. We are a society based around reward and punishment, but most of all our society based on capitalism is falling apart. Kids are having a constant unending pressure of the idea of needing to work to make money to survive, I watch my 66 year old grandmother riddled with anxiety and depression and undiagnosed autism struggling everyday because she works 5 days a week and is bullied in the workplace. But this is the only thing she knows, it's engrained in her mind that she must work until she is dying from pain both physical and mental until she gets paid so she can continue to maybe just for one more month live comfortably in the middle class. And so I return to education, and all I can think is the rational fear of bad grades because society tells you that if you get bad grades you won't go to college and college is vital for your success and if you don't go to college you will end up becoming a depressing houseless meth head. But I can tell you right now that you can succeed without college and you can become a houseless meth head even if you're successful. And who set that system up? Who's going to give housing and rehabilitation resources to the houseless meth head? We are the new generation we are the change we can change. We can change the education system to help students flourish, like in finland. I don't want to be cringe but generation z is the end of an era and generation alpha is the beginning of another and I don't care if there's millennials or generation betas that want "in" because if you are willing to be apart of the change then you can be the change. That's my cringe thesis about the future generation. If my children have to live with the crushing weight and pressure to succeed I'm going to have a fucking problem. Put your heads back on and send a letter to congress, sign petitions, protest, become informed because unfortunately it's all on us at this point.

[quill-of-thoth]

Okay but. Tiny swimming things on europa are more exciting, conceptually, than an alien civilization. Alien civilizations, and travel between solar systems, and people who we can talk to who aren’t us make great storytelling. But from a physics standpoint actually talking to aliens is an almost certain impossibility - for all the proposed solutions to faster than light space travel or instant communication, it’s likely that those problems are just too large in scale for it to be possible for us, or actually any civilization in the universe, ever, to solve them.  I know I talk about scale problems a lot but I think it’s one place where we don’t actually get enough scientific literacy education and that leads to people making policy and personal decisions based on presuming that science fiction is a “when” question instead of a “what if.” Say you could, I don’t know, reliably manipulate particles that exist also as fields rather than waves throughout the universe, potentially fixing the problems of communication degrading across the lightyears and also the speed of light meaning that we’re anywhere from four and a half years to the entire age of the universe away from getting any information from planets outside our solar system. You would still need someone on the other end to know how to build apparatuses that send information BACK. Then there’s faster than light travel, an even worse problem because it would probably require energy, and the scale problem gets worse, because you’re hoping to send STUFF rather than subatomic particles, and it’s very possible that there does not physically exist enough energy in possibly the universe to send, say, an intact car with living creatures in it, fast enough for those creatures to make it at enough under the speed of light to survive, even to our nearest neighbor Alpha Centauri. Even if we sent microbes and not people, even if it took us ten years to get to Alpha Centauri instead of the four and a half ish at lightspeed. Even if we sent a mars rover’s great great grand-bot to Alpha Centauri with some sort of decision-making process baked in and resigned ourselves to being spectators to a robot’s exploration half a decade after the fact.  Maybe physics gets weird in ways that we cannot predict that make this a less impossible problem. We’re not close to that. It probably seemed like we could be to people last century who thought “we’ve split an atom, the next frontier could be anything” but we knew that atoms consisted of separate parts since before 1900: it’s fundamental to how chemistry actually works, and we were poking around in predicting the results of chemistry during basically the entire 1800′s. We had an okay knowledge of what happened but not WHY.  Back to biochemistry, instead of physical chemistry: instead of the chemistry proliferation of the 1800′s, we have the proliferation of genetics in the 1900′s. We know (because genetics is a step up in complexity from chemistry: DNA is a complex, self assembling chemical process that exists only because with large enough chemicals there are very specific arrangements where it takes less energy to stay in shape than to dissolve into component parts - this is super simplified by the way -) and we’re still working on it. We’re going to be working on it for a lot longer than the idea of particles within an atom because there is so much more of it.  (There is also a LOT going the other direction, particles within particles, which is why we now know that the Higgs Boson exists instead of being so theoretical that it was nicknamed the god particle, but we have immense scale problems studying subatomic particles, and we don’t have the same problem for chemistry or biochemistry. Or microbiology. Time to re-enter europa.) The things Europa microbes could teach us in the fields of microbiology / biochemistry are way more important to our current state of knowledge as a species than if we could magically get cell signal to Alpha Centauri. We know how a lot of biochemical processes work, and why when they’re purely chemical. 

For example, we know that the lipid layer surrounding cells exists because, for chemical reasons, one end of a lipid hates touching water and the other doesn’t mind. So you put a bunch of lipid molecules in water and they self-assemble into little clumps, with their water-hating ends inward. Put enough in and stir and you get bubbles of lipid, where there’s water inside the bubble but the lipid is forming a layer, like a sheet of paper but impossibly thinner, water hating ends mashed together while the other ends look out into two separate seas. One sea has more salt than the other, but that’s okay: salt ions are so much smaller than lipids that they can just wiggle through the barrier. The lipids will turn a tiny tiny bit so the water hating ends don’t touch the ions, which they also don’t like much. The inner and outer seas make sure they have roughly the same amount of ions, and in doing so make sure they can have single atoms pass through. Water is only three atoms large. A lipid is about sixty atoms large. An amino acid is about twenty atoms large, and it mostly stays inside the inner sea if that’s where it starts out. The outer sea is more turbulent - complex proteins don’t form in it without breaking apart. The inner sea is calmer. Some proteins get so large that when they fold on themselves to reach the most compact structures they start having physical behaviors, like the motion stored in a tightly wound spring. Some proteins move in ways that interact with other proteins, without changing anything about their chemical composition. Somewhere in all this we get systems of proteins, and this is where we reach the unknown WHY stage, that get complex enough that they start assembling other chemicals, which in turn tell other proteins how to make more proteins. And sugars. And - well a hell of a lot of chemicals, it turns out. If you have some idea of how many grains of rice is a billion, you still don’t understand how many cells are in a moderately sized mammal. The scale difference between a million and a billion is not QUITE the same as the scale difference between a billion and a trillion but we’re getting close. The scale difference between an atom and a virus is similar to the scale difference between humans and the sun, in that math doesn’t quite break down when we think about it, but our ability to do math without technical aids does.  Europan life, no matter how unicellular, could teach us a lot about WHY life works this way. If they have the same proteins (or enough of the same) we can be reasonably sure that a lot of the chemical building blocks of life are simply the most durable organizations of specific chemicals in tiny envelopes of water. If they don’t, we’ll know that we need to broaden our search. If Europan life was microbes and viruses we would eventually know enough about them to track their evolution. If it was weird enough - say it lacked DNA and RNA - we would be able to discover a completely different principal of chemical self-organization leading to life. Theorizing a genetic structure that isn’t DNA/RNA in enough detail to be worth studying is a ludicrous amount of work: we are currently gamely trying to find different possible folds for individual proteins, which are usually smaller, by a combination of sheer computing power and luck.  A decade ago when I was actually taking microbio, it was infinitely faster and cheaper in terms of energy to have humans propose protein arrangements and have computers check them: shout out to https://fold.it/, which you can still play for the sake of science. The rise of machine learning AI hasn’t made a dent here: it likely won’t. The scale difference between colored pixels or individual word arrangements and the folds of a protein is probably also like the difference between a human and the sun. Finding life on Europa, whether it’s different than our microbes or not, could be the kind of connection in the field of molecular biology that discovering the individual components of the core of an atom one after another in the early 1800′s was: the Why that births a dozen new fields.  TLDR: a microbe not of this world is a larger amount of information than being able to talk directly to an alien and infinitely less impossible. 

do you believe in aliens

yeah but in the very boring "there's probably some tiny things swimming around on europa" way, not in the flying saucers way

[ruhrohimrorny]

What Subjects I Think LOK Characters Would Teach:

Lin: PE, obviously. Dating Kya and all the kids are happy cause there’s a noticeable shift in Lin’s mood once they start dating. She no longer forces kids to run a mile every day and instead does it once a week now, so the kids are hoping her and Kya stay together. She also coaches Golf and Lacrosse.

Kya: Waffled between MILF Math teacher, MILF Science teacher, and hippy/chill Music teacher, but decided on MILF Science Teacher. Getting strong Biology vibes. Very fun labs and not strict at all. Her and Zhu-Li are super passionate about leading the Science Bowl team. Seeing these young people be so passionate about STEM and helping their fellow teammates makes her hopeful for this young generation.

Tenzin: He kinda gives math teacher vibes, but a large part of his character in the show is about him keeping his history alive, and teaching others abut learning and respecting history, so I feel like he’s a History teacher. His class is a lot of notetaking but he plays quiet music and does a five minute meditation in the middle of class to encourage kids to relax, so students really like him and actually listen to him. Also, he’s kind of gullible so they make up fake trends to tell him. He once spent a week addressing people as “brony” cause students told him thats what people say now instead of bro. Kids got a good laugh out of that one. Him and Pema are another favorite teacher couple.

Bumi II: Def gives off eccentric/unhinged English teacher vibes. Very interesting and informative conversations in his class, but things get off topic very quickly. Whenever kids ask about Bum-Ju, he gets distracted and will talk the entire rest of the period about what to dress Bum-Ju up as for Halloween. Probably plays a lot of videos. And students don’t worry about if they read the books Bumi II assigns cause they don’t think he’s even read the books he assigns. When having discussions about the books in class, sometimes kids will make up stuff and say it’s in the book and for the most part, Bumi II goes along with it cause he doesn’t know what actually happens in the books.

Varrick: Also gives off eccentric/unhinged English teacher vibes, but because he’s a businessman/war profiteer, I’m gonna have to say he teaches Econ and gives students lots of unsolicited financial advice. Also supervises the Engineering and Robotics Club.

Zhu-Li: Science teacher, probably Chemistry. She’s very good at explaining and getting kids to follow her instructions. Not only is she a co-supervisor for the Science Bowl team, she helps Varrick run Engineering and Robotics Club, cause if it were only Varrick running it, no kids would come. His intensity and eccentricity scares them.

Iroh II: He’s definitely the young Math teacher everyone has a crush on. Very chill and doesn’t give a lot of homework. Kids love when he shows pictures of his dog to the class and eventually he brings in the dog cause admin think the dog is too cute to say no to.

Tonraq: Resident DILF History teacher. Kind of a hardass but also a nice dude so most everyone passes his class. Probably that History teacher that is also a football coach, so during fall he doesn’t give a FUCK about whether anyone actually turns anything in. Him and Senna is the teacher couple that seems like opposites but actually are pretty similar and balance each other out.

Senna: That English teacher that every mentally ill student becomes emotionally attached to. You know what I’m talking about. She’s so sweet, funny, and chill so all the kids love her class. Tries to include memes in her presentations to seem “with it” but they’re like, doge memes from 2014. But the kids appreciate the effort.

Pema: Definitely the sweet English teacher that occasionally has a mental breakdown when the students test her patience. Otherwise very chill. Also teaches the Childhood Education and Development class. Her, Senna, and Bumi II run the school newspaper.

Bataar: Drafting. Pretty chill, very skilled, and def smokes on the weekend. Also, him and Suyin are that teacher couple that everyone likes.

Suyin: Dance. Super nice and always has like to of those smelly plug in things going so her room smells good and has a “good vibe that evokes emotion”. Always plays EDM or weird 80s rock to get the kids moving. She runs the school dance team. When Bataar has prep period, he sometimes drops in to see Su dance, cause she’s mesmerizing to watch. All the kids think that, coupled with the fact that they eat lunch together every day, makes them the cutest couple ever.

Amon: Drama. He loves directing kids on how to totally live a role. If you can imagine, he sometimes gets a little overdramatic about drama, forgetting that these are just highschool kids, not Oscar winners, but his passion makes the class more enjoyable. Runs Drama Club with Tarrlok.

Tarrlok: Probably Physics. A difficult class, but he’s pretty good at explaining so most kids don’t struggle too much. His main focus is running student government, which he takes pretty seriously. Sometimes too seriously.

Unalaq: Teaches Psychology. The most pretentious teacher on campus. It’s literally so bad, that even other teachers avoid him. Amon abandoned his coffee still being brewed in the machine in the staff room cause Unalaq walked in and he didn’t want to be in a room with Unalaq again after he said that Amon’s outfit “looked like something stolen from the lost and found of a funeral home”. Unalaq sees it as “telling it like it is”.

Zaheer: Government and Politics. Tries to teach the class very well but also injects his own opinion into teaching a lot. The students find him scary but some also kinda think he’s hot. Also does Yearbook. Him and Senna run Mock Trial. Replaced the old Government and Politics teacher Hou-Ting after she retired. She was that one old teacher that made it a hobby to harrass students and constantly reminisced about when you could smack students.

P’Li: Math teacher. Much scarier than Zaheer. Plays her trash ass music very loudly while the kids work. Def yells at kids. She’s kind of funny when she’s in a good mood tho, and when she roasts kids it’s really funny cause it’s usually dead on. Her and Zaheer are those teachers that flirt a lot and you know they’re sleeping together.

Ming-Hua: Art. Loves drawing and, you guessed it, watercolor painting. Very chill and plays soft music but lets you listen to your own music. Super sarcastic and all the students eat it up. Literally a universal favorite. She runs Art Club and Fashion Club.

Ghazan: Guitar. Pretty cool teacher that definitely has some weird stories. All the students know he has a crush on Ming-Hua cause they flirt constantly, but he denies it. Runs E-Sports Club. Idk why I think that, it just feels right. Him and Ming-Hua are also the kinds of teachers kids become emotionally attached to.

Kuvira: Government and Politics also. Seems calm and reasonable, but is a total ass. Makes kids give up their phones, allows almost no talking, gives out more detentions a week than most teachers do in one year, and doesn’t allow for much discussion. Everyone wants her class cause she’s hot but most drop within the first week, to the point that counselors have to say no to some kids so they don’t have to get rid of the class altogether.

Bataar Jr.: Computer Lit teacher. None of the students respect him so they’ll play Minecraft the whole time or play inappropriate videos really loud. Doesn’t really put much effort into teaching, which for some kids is a dream, but for others is an annoyance. Him and Kuvira are the teacher couple that makes everyone say “wtf”. Literally no one knows why they’re together.

Izumi: Secretary/Attendance. Pretty much remembers everything and is super organized. She is the glue that holds the school together. Most students don’t know her name though cause she’s super quiet and works mostly behind the scenes. Whenever Zuko sends anyone her way though he reminds them of her name and to say thank you cause he recognizes how hard his daughter works to keep everything running smoothly. Izumi catches on to this and always manages to thank her dad with a nice tea and a hug.

Toph: Vice Principal. Scary as fuck. Doesn’t ever call kids’ parents cause she efficiently scares the shit out of every kid, so they never do whatever bad thing they were doing again. When she has to work dances, Katara always tries to get her to dance with her. She resists every time, but she always gives eventually. She’s happy to though, cause although she’ll never say it out loud, seeing Katara this happy at her old age warms her heart.

Katara: Health Clerk. Very sweet and everybody loves her. Sometimes kids pretend to feel sick just to talk to her. She doesn’t mind though cause a kid that has a tummy ache and a kid that needs to talk are both kids that need help, and she’s happy to offer whatever support she can. She also always offers to supervise dances when the school has them and always manages to bust a move.

Zuko: Counselor. Wants to be to students what his uncle was to him. Aang and Sokka were counselors too, some years ago. And while they could give some good nuggets of advice and offered the kids amazing support, they also would totally fuck up student’s schedules by accident cause those numbskulls were exactly that- numbskulls. So usually Zuko would have to fix that. He misses fixing their messes and, more importantly, he misses them (they aren’t dead, just retired). He hopes to retire soon too, cause he’s getting too old for this, but he secretly doesn’t want to retire just yet cause working at school allows him to see and spend time with Izumi. Since they’re both working, it’s not like they have too much time together, but even just her popping into his office to bring him tea or check in on how he’s doing that day brings a smile to his face that doesn’t leave for the rest of the day.

Raiko: Principal. After Toph stepped down cause she’s “too old for this shit” (her words), Raiko stepped in. The students aren’t a fan of him but he’s not terrible. And since Toph is still Vice Principal, she keeps him in check.

[bsdndprplplld]

yes, this, but also among other stem courses in a typical school, math is taken the most seriously. idk about other countries, but in poland in highschool people study chemistry, biology, physics and geography only if they decide to take the advanced final exams in these subjects. with math, everyone has take the standard level exam, so it can't be ignored like other subjects

up to highschool everyone has to complete their share of stem courses, but with the subjects other than math, the teachers often allow students to pass by memorizing the theory or by making some extra projects to earn points. with math you can't do that. when someone struggles with physics, the teacher sometimes says "alright, next year you won't have to study physics, so just learn those formulas and definitions and write them down on a test and I will let you pass". in math this is not an option, the student will have to take n more years of math courses

also, math mainly requires learning new skills, not just new information. many people never memorize the "dry theory" in highschool, because you have access to a reference table of formulas during exams and your job is only to know where to use those formulas – no need to memorize anything. but this does not come naturally to everyone and I think a huge part of the problem is teaching people how to work on their problem solving skills. I tutored a few students who believed they were bad at math and their mindset was "I can solve this type of problem because I know how to substitute into this formula, but when the problem is slightly different I panic, because the teacher never showed us how to solve it", which can be fixed by practicing a wider variety of problems and practicing the awareness of one's thinking process

people do not understand that problem solving is a skill on its own and I blame schools for that, because what we are offered is the image of math being about re-using the same kind of thinking processes but with different numbers. heck, when I was in elementary school I thought this is what math is about and I hated it because it's so boring and repetitive. I can imagine, when someone believes that this is what math is supposed to be and then they see the "more real math", which is about creativity, they panic (and rightfully so, they've been lied to)

my unpopular opinion is that not everyone can be good at this, just like I will never be good at understanding literature – my brain just sucks at processing this kind of stuff and I have aphantasia which doesn't help at all. but what makes it even worse for those people is the belief that it should be about repeating the same patterns over and over, so when they see that it's something completely different, it must be very frustrating – the reality is inconsistent with their beliefs

I am sure it doesn't cover the entirety of the "oof I always hated math" phenomenon, but it certainly does explain some of it, especially in the context of the education system in my country

As I said in a previous post, I have deep sympathy for the frustration of people who are good at math when they see math so almost universally hated by children and adults

And again and again, they try to explain that math is very much within everyone's reach and can be fun and, at least in western countries, education was to blame, messing up this very doable and fun thing by teaching it wrong

But I still gotta wonder - why math? If it is really just education messing this up, why does it mess up so much with math, specifically? I'm sorry but I still cannot shake the sense that even if it's just bad teaching, math is especially vulnerable to bad teaching.

Or is it maybe just that math is the only truly exact science, so there is no margin of error, so unlike every other field where you can sortof weasel around and get away with teaching and retaining half-truths and oversimplifications and purely personal opinions, math is unforgiving with the vague and the incorrect?

[shamelessllamapeanutthing]

Ships and Feels about them

HUGE self-indulgent post but my brain is frozen and I need to get the juices flowing so I can start studying, because if I don’t get into the college I want I just might have to kill myself and then y’all can say bye-bye to your fav fics by your majesty. 

YoruSoi- status: worSHIPPING (geddit? XD) them like the goddesses they are

I regularly play Wicked Ones by Dorothy and just imagine these two tag-teaming against their opponents, like the crazy, badass, ninja lesbians they are. It fucking gives me goosebumps and makes me blush like I am imagining them rawing each other instead. I am a big time SUCKER for powerful, cut-throat wlw. They make me feel powerful by extension, and my devotion for these two is completely unparalleled. 

VictUuri- status: will protect them with my life  

First of all, I love how layered and interesting they are. I can think about this show and this ship for hours and hours on end ( @feastingonvicturi will vouch for that). I naturally gravitate towards angsty ships and writing (because I am a weird sado-maso cross, what can I say) except for these two fluffy bastards. I had been putting off watching YOI because of the weird things I had read about ‘yaoi’ animes (IK YOI is not yaoi, now) till someone told me how pure and deep their love for each other was and welp, here we are. 

RenRuki- status: comfort ship I’ll defend till death

It was one of my first ships and even as I multi-shipper, I always had a preference for them. Childhood-friends-to-lovers trope tugs on my heartstrings like little else and Renji’s devotion towards Rukia warms my heart. I hear them in nearly every song, imagine them in every scenario I read or write about and even though I have multiple ships I adore involving Rukia and Renji both, the two together is everything to me. (Presently obsessed with the amazing hcs and art by @recurring-polynya you might wanna check them out)

KaiRay- status: heart is taking a break, but remains firmly attached

I got into Beyblade BECAUSE of this ship, because of the moments these two shared in V-Force that I caught glimpses of when my younger siblings were watching the show. I love Kai and Ray’s dynamic and I guess what attracts me the most to this ship is the fact that as a teenager I was exactly like Kai and had my own personal Ray who got me through the worst in life. I love the sense of sweet nostalgia this couple brings me and I believe they are perfect for each other. 

MariahEmily- status: coffee shop AU, anyone? 

I was HUGE on MariahxRay but strong, stylish, kinda bitchy, dumb thot falling for the highly educated and fierce lady boss she doesn’t really know how to approach is another one of my favourite tropes, (see: PansMione, down under). I saw them interact and due to personal reasons my brain rejects petty rivalry between girls (because we’re all tired of that, children, be honest) and immediately tries to fix it in fanon. ( @trashyartz  and her beautiful drawings had a lot to do with fanning these flames.) 

ShunUki- status: want them to adopt me

Need I say more? No, but I wanna. I love the steady, secure vibes of this ship. This is the one ship I physically can’t write angsty shit about because of the level of understanding and sense of comfort these two share. They give me kind and strong dad vibes and I have emotionally been an orphan since I was in my early teens so. 

WolfStar- status: they’re canon, JKR can suck my toes

Fucking TERF 

Listen, listen, have you been listening? I mentioned I am a sucker for angst, right? Are you looking at the angst potential here, cause wow. What originally attracted me to this ship was the Chemistry between the two, cause it’s undeniable. You can NOT imagine Maurauders’ Era without imaging these two pining over each other. It’s impossible. 

PansMione- status: toxic and problematic, but oh so hot

I got on this ship because I was craving some quality wlw ships. You guys’ I can not explain to you how often female characters in shows and books do not pass the Bechdel test and I stumbled on some gorgeous PansMione art and just fell in love. IK this ship is hella problematic, but I am firm on my stance that the baby Slytherins deserve a redemption arc. 

Can you imagine these two after Pansy realises everything she did wrong and vows to be better? I imagine Hermione stumbling on a hurt and confused Pansy in year 8, who can’t stop her tears from flowing and is so ashamed of herself for that. She is feeling guilty and resisting the emotion with everything she possesses because the world she’d always known has crumbled down around her and everything she believed in has now been proven to be wrong. 

She lashes out at Hermione because how dare that smart, gorgeous, courageous girl also be everything Pansy once thought she was? How dare she, a muggleborn, unravel the complicated threads of the wizard world so quickly, so efficiently, and clearly see what Pansy never could? Pansy is hurt and guilty and angry and she hates the fact that fucking Granger of all people has now witnessed her crying. 

She feels lost and her anger only rages louder when Hermione doesn’t gloat or belittle her, she doesn’t say anything. 

(Why is this turning into a ficlet, WHAT) 

Anyways, Pansy gets over herself and she and Hermione get together and oh my god, imagine them then. Smart, powerful, righteous Hermione taking the fucking Wizarding World by a storm every single day with her sexy, vivacious, clever Pansy by her side. They’d be unstoppable and they’d love each other something fierce. It would show in the way they look at each other, with a sense of victory, not only over Voldemort but over the entire Wizarding society that had done everything it could to tear them apart, and ultimately failed. 

(BONUS: Imagine Ron and Harry being utter dorks when they go to Pride parades with Hermione and let the image cleanse your skin and soul. @feastingonvicturi @trashyartz one of you (or both?) needs to collab with me so I can write a fix it fic for these two, please. I will pledge my soul to the devil to be used and abused as per Trashy’s whims in exchange. Taura will do it cause she’s my best friend and loves me more than I deserve to be loved.)

(In conclusion, I adore every single one of these ships and am willing to slice a bitch’s throat to protect their honour. Except for YoruSoi, they are fictional characters IK but I am convinced they do not need anybody’s protection, least of all this dumb fuck’s and just might laugh at the very idea.) 

Also, feel free to reblog or comment with rants about your own ships even if they go directly against mine. More love to you if you expand on the ships I mentioned here myself. Tell me about your poison of choice, go ahead. 

But if any one of you dares to send hate to any of my ships, please know that I am something of a God in my own capacity and will smite you with my preferred weapon of choice i.e. blindness in the face of adorable puppies or kittens (in pictures, videos, art, real life or otherwise). Beware. Let people love what they love.

[poisonheadcrabsalesman]

More therapy thoughts part 1/?

Behavior Theory Frameworks/Conditioning and What the fuck does Master Chief talk about in therapy?

Ramblings below - like a lot, like I spent too much time writing this and you should not read this

Behavioral Theory could work well as a framework with rehabilitating Spartan IIs if the case worker focused on Operant Conditioning Theory and Cognitive Social Learning Theory, which I talked about in this ask because I think I’m funny and this blog is an archive of me applying human behavior theories to video games.

Spartans have always been taught the mission comes first! Always! The 2s are indoctrinated from age 6-14 and then have that reinforced the rest of their lives. From the beginning they are taught to push themselves to the limits, earn their food by winning, form bonds with teammates but be ready to sacrifice them for the mission. The whole lives wasted vs spent conversation between John and Mendez after the augmentation surgery!

What the UNSC/ONI wants comes before their lives, the lives of other soldiers, civilians, AI etc. This constant conditioning of expectations and rewards has created the norms cemented in their minds. This becomes standard operating procedure.

Spartans are also an entirely separated social group, other people have made really great posts on how they are Othered and have their own way of communicating with body language. ODSTs hate Spartans, marines see them as cyborgs or saviors, and while they’re allies, Spartans are not seen or treated as human, by literally everyone. They are a means to an end, with the original goal being to maintain the UNSC’s position of power and crush the insurrectionists in the outer colonies, but uh oh Aliens!

Maybe the 2s aren’t as expendable as the 3s but the mindset and reinforcement of “mission first, people second” being repeated their entire lives is going to stick. So is the constant mistreatment and abuse from their fellow soldiers and handlers. 

Addressing the cognitive distortions that come from their upbringing while also balancing the fact that Spartans are so fundamentally different from the way they developed to survive would be so much work, especially considering how much information on them is given to their therapist.  The main distortion I would apply is minimization, making large problems small and not properly dealing with them, and specifically for John, personification, accepting blame for negative events without sufficient evidence. 

Like these are grown ass super soldiers who can kill you in less than a second and calculate the amount of gravity in a room on the fly but then also can flounder when trying to comfort civilians or make small talk because their experiences and values are so alien to adults who had more developmentally “normal” lives. 

Literally applying therapy to Spartans would be like, what was done to you was wrong, the ends do not justify the means, you were children and the adults in your life failed to protect you. You are a human person who is fallible and did the best you could with what you had. And the Spartan would say, “sounds fake but okay, can I pass my psych eval and go back to war now please?”

Jumping back to Behavior Theory

Different approaches to therapy under the Behavior Theory umbrella help modify negative behaviors with treatments like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical behavior therapy that teach individuals adaptive coping like emotional regulation, distress tolerance, cognitive distortions, and interpersonal communication. And that’s just one framework under the umbrella of human behavior theories.

Social work therapy is different from psych as it approaches individuals with heavily researched, evidence-based theories and frameworks in a holistic viewing of person-in-environment, instead of a strong focus on internal psychology. 

Social work looks at all the interacting systems, environment, history, and internal and external factors affecting an individual. One of the most useful frameworks is the Biopsychosocial-Spiritual Frameworks (BPSS) when helping a client. It helps with identifying all the intersecting factors, both risk and protective, that shapes a client’s lived experiences. The most important thing to remember is that the individual is an expert in their own life, they know their experiences best.

The hardest part is applying this to Spartans because they Are So Fucked, their lived experiences, their environments and systems and institutions interacting with them, and the amount of their personal information that is probably so classified.

BPSS is a tool to help social workers assess individuals and their situations by collecting info that is related to the presenting issues and current and past circumstances. Info like medical history, hospitalizations, substance abuse, mental illness, personal relationships, family history and background, culture and norms, education, legal history, spirituality and participation etc. is all under this framework. 

For Spartan 2s most of this info is lost or classified and helping someone who has repressed every negative emotion they've had for the sake of the mission would be so much to unpack but that’s also why you’re reading the mad ramblings over an over caffeinated nerd on the internet.

Life Course Theory which looks at developmental milestones and the individual’s experiences versus the socially expected markers, how do you apply that to children who were taken and have lived such different lives? 

While early adolescence is when “normal” development of thoughts of self and identity take place alongside the physical changes of puberty, Spartans were being turned into emotionless calculating weapons. Sorry John, no forming a sense of identity and peer bonds for you, go kill that Watts guy who betrayed us and joined the insurrectionists. 

And now that I’ve gone this insane and opened 2 whole textbooks up, let’s get to Master Chief thoughts. If you’ve read this far thank you, I swear I’m normal, 2020 has just been a weird year. 

Why the fuck did I think I could write a therapy fic on a guy with 20 minutes of actual dialogue across almost 2 decades of games?

I make fun of him and call him a himbo, but he’s smart, he knows he’s being used and there is resentment there that’s been building for years. 

There’s also decades of trauma and combat experience, physical, and emotional abuse, the lack of a support network,  lack of an identity, the biological factors and aftermath of the augmentations and injuries he’s received, a whole lot of grief and self-inflicted guilt. 

The loss of a third of his peer group with the augmentation surgery, Sam’s death, the loss of Reach (the only place he’s considered home), Keyes, the Pillar of Autumn crew, Miranda Keyes, Johnson, Cortana. He cares about the marines who fight with him!!!

He just stands there and takes it and rarely snaps, and even then it’s just small cracks on the surface with fissures running deep. The few details I will pull from Halo 5 are Blue Team’s reactions to John pushing himself so hard from the beginning of the game, and the literal crack in his armor from the fight with Locke. Like dude.  

John’s a leader and will get the mission done but he tugs on the leash. He’s earned enough of a reputation and uses it to get his way.

Halo 2’s “Permission to leave the station” with Mr. “I’m going to hand deliver a bomb to the fusion reactor of a covenant supercarrier and hope my friends catch me”. 

Halo 4 is when we see him say no to a superior officer and then 5 is him going AWOL. Palmer literally points out that no one is going to stop him.

Halo 5 kills me for many reasons but John bringing up Halsey and what she did to him and also pointing out that he knows Halo 5 Cortana is trying to manipulate him with psychological tactics hurts. 

He knows what’s been done to him!

I cannot remember which book it was but John isn’t used to working alone. He literally takes fire because he was expecting someone to have his back! 

He’s lost without Cortana! She was in his brain! Y’all! I played Halo Combat Evolved on the original xbox when I was like 8 and I knew these two were meant to be together. From the moment they met they had great chemistry and relied on each other! Cortana literally goes after people who have it out for John! John wants her approval and shows off for her in one of the books. 

I’ve already written too much here but like all of the games have John showing off for Cortana, making dry jokes, jumping out of things he shouldn’t. 

The whole point of this rambling is to try and get my thoughts about how to approach John’s character under control.

And that’s the thing. He’s lost control. He’s lost people, he’s losing his position and being phased out as an aging spartan, a relic. John’s used to following orders and making some decisions on the battlefield but it was always short term.

He has no identity beyond being a weapon. Complete the mission, clear the LZ, get put in cryo. Rinse, repeat. 

The timeline of the games are what I'm most familiar with but with the comics and books too it’s one long run from Halo 2 to Halo 4. Cairo station to the Dreadnought to the crash landing to Forward Unto Dawn to Requiem to “The Didact is Dead but not really but we’ll deal with him off-screen”.

I know Hood apparently gave John R&R orders before Halo 5 that he ignored and kept running himself into the ground. This is a man who has to keep moving and keep being useful. 

I imagine him giving in and seeking help as a last resort to fix any problems he has with performing his duties rather than helping himself be healthier. 

Any professional he sees is going to have to approach him like they’re approaching a self sacrificing feral cat, with lunch meat and quiet. This man needs to have his support network closer, set up long term goals, and do some serious, and most likely incredibly painful, self reflection on where he’s come from and where he wants to go. Get him out of that tin can and into therapy. I don’t have a nice neat ending because this was a ramble and also therapy is not neat and tidy. Thanks for reading my words about mr halo

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 105

I’ve managed to get slightly ahead on these, so: A belated thank you to @littleshydragon, @dark-chocolat-cupcake, @overusedblur, and @allegrochicken for all the love I have seen blowing up my notes recently (I’m queuing this on Aug 25, even if it won’t post until Sept 8). 

Also, to the 30 new followers who I have somehow acquired: Welcome!  Ask box is always open, and I don’t get nearly enough of them.  I love to interact with y’all, so don’t be afraid to ask me every little question you think of as you read.  Anon is on if you feel you need that.

Other than that, thanks for this chapter goes out to @baelpenrose for beta reading.  Also @quantumizedinsanity, @charlylimph-blog, @wildforestferret, @creakingcryptid, for the characters you gave me to play with in chapters like this.

Later that same ‘day’, I was forcefully reminded of Noah’s observation regarding human communication.  Things were generally calm, and an impromptu family meal-snack-thing was happening in my quarters. Antoine had been over to visit, as he seemed to be making up for lost time caused by infiltrating Jokul’s accidental cult.  Zach and Hannah were over, as well, so when dinner time rolled around, I just threw together some small po-boy sandwiches and banh mi for us to snack on while we kept visiting, rather than making a full meal.

Hey, I was allowed lazy days, too.

As it happened sometimes, conversation turned to things we either did or didn’t miss from Before.  Tonight was very firmly in the ‘do not miss’ category.

“Plagues started by dumb experiments,” Maverick pointed out, smirking.

Catching on, Conor swatted him playfully. “I said I was sorry about that! And Else is an alright person, turns out.”

Snorting, Hannah covered her face with one hand. “Tell that to Nixe.”

“Her new tail is gorgeous,” I gushed. “If I got reparations like that, I’d at least consider forgiving someone.”

“For almost killing you?”

“It was an accident,” I brushed the comment off, reminded of explaining that gesture to Noah. “Besides, there are a lot of other things I genuinely don’t miss.”

“Aunt Flo,” Hannah intoned seriously.

“Tyche and I already did that one, so it’s not admissible,” I admonished. “But spoiled food? Do not miss.”

Zach shuddered. “Hell, that’s not even from Before. I don’t miss that at all.”

Antoine lifted his coffee in a mock-toast. “To all the people we lost to antibiotics.” After a few confused looks banded around the room, I laughed and waved at him to clarify. Rolling his eyes dramatically, he sighed. “Bread mold. This is why people died in the After of antibiotic allergies: they didn’t know it was derived from bread mold.”

“Dude, that’s dark,” Zach whispered.

Clearing his throat, Conor soldiered on. “I never lived through one, but wildfires were pretty bad, yeah?”

Nodding seriously, Maverick - who had lived on the western coast of NorthAm - added “Yeah, fuck THOSE things. Australia had it worse, but still.”

Raising her hand and waving it, Hannah started making eager noises to ask for her turn.  “Absolutely idiotic job requirements, am I right?” Nods abounded, and she took the opportunity to vent the spleen I hadn’t even guessed her to possess. “The number of jobs I didn’t get because I didn’t have a degree were absurd. I don’t even know why they even required them, for some!  I’m sure most of you had that happen.”

I kept my silence, but Conor was right behind her. “A Master’s in Engineering, to be a foreman.  You’re babysitting a bunch of knuckleheads pounding rebar and pouring concrete!  And they’ve had a decade of learning to do it right, I would’ve just been there to make sure it was compliant. And they wanted a Master’s for that!”

Hannah took a sip of her drink and nodded eagerly. “That’s what I’m talking about! There was a job I qualified for that was basically a glorified secretary… They wanted a four-year degree and paid peanuts. Absurd.  But I was unemployed for way more of my life than I should have been, because I didn’t have that piece of paper.”

Idly, Zach stared at his drink.  Like me, he had one of said-degrees, so this was something of a conversation we couldn’t really take part in. “I wonder how many Councillors we would have if those kind of requirements were put in place here.” Arching an eyebrow, he glanced up at me and inclined his head knowingly.

“Well,” I exhaled. “It depends. If they asked for a Master’s degree of any kind, I wouldn’t be a Councillor.” A thought struck me. “Hey - “

“No, Sophia, you cannot recommend that as a way to retire from the Council,” Antoine scolded with a laugh. “You would be grandfathered in with everyone else.”

The laughter broke the serious tone that had descended, and led to everyone speculating jovially, starting with Conor. “Well, we know Grey would still be a Councillor in that case - they admitted they had a PhD when Else was still getting sorted, rather than an MD.”

“Pretty sure Eino has a Master’s, at least,” Zach pointed.

Maverick shook his head, firmly disagreeing. “Doctorate in Education. I saw it on his wall. Don’t sell that one short.”

“So that’s two.” Hannah leaned forward eagerly. “Conor, what about Huynh?”

“Masters in Engineering,” he confirmed ruefully. “But he’s no PhD.”

“Pranav,” Zach interjected. “Post grad in robotics. Even worked on some of the Padrugoi mission stuff, early on.”

A respectful murmur filled the room, accompanied by appropriately impressed nods. Maverick had to actually shake the starstruck look out of his eyes before he could speak. “So that’s three PhDs, one Master’s, and a Bachelor’s on the Council. Not bad, honestly.”

Antoine cleared his throat politely. “Grey actually has two doctorates, if I am recalling correctly.”

I shook my head firmly. “Three. Biochemistry, genetics, and molecular chemistry.”

With a low whistle, Conor shook his head. “So, we have a clear leader as far as ‘most degrees on the Council’. Would Eino or Pranav be second, though?”

An argument erupted, and when it looked like Zach was about to say something, I shook my head. I knew the same thing he was about to point out, as a by-blow of fixing some of Derek’s more… enthusiastic shenanigans,  but I wanted to see if anyone would figure it out or even question it.  A solid half-hour later, Tyche arrived and scooped up a mini-sandwich before she even registered the conversation/argument taking place.

Whirling to face me, she pointed at the rest of the room and glared at me disdainfully. “Seriously? How long has this been going on?”

“Forty five minutes?” I admitted sheepishly. “Maybe an hour if you include the ‘what we don’t miss’ portion of the conversation.  But ‘degrees on the Council’ has been at least forty five minutes.”

“And you said fuck all?”

I shrugged. “I know it’s not me who has the most or even second most.  I have the least formal education of any Councillor.”

Tyche pinched the bridge of her nose and blew out a long breath. “Okay, everyone. What do you know so far?”

Without hesitation, Maverick rattled it off. “Grey has three doctorates, Eino has one and  a Master’s, it turns out. Pranav has one doctorate and a Bachelor’s. Huynh has a Master’s, and Sophia has a Bachelor’s.”

“And the Councillor you have left out?” she interrogated wearily, while Zach and I tried to restrain our laughter.

“Xiomara?” he asked, face scrunched in confusion. “She was career military, but I don’t know if she has any degrees. Maybe a Bachelor’s?”

Tyche shook her head, glaring again when I started gasping for breath. “Wrong. And you know what? Soph knew this, so I’m going to make her tell all of you. Like she should have. From the beginning.”

“Hey!” I cried, still giggling. “I was giving them a whole other 5 minutes before I broke the news. I just wanted to see if they would even question their reasoning.”  Antoine’s eyes got wide, sending me into another giggling fit. “None of you even mentioned the idea of Xiomara having any degree,” I gasped, almost in hysterics. “Mav was in the military, so I get that he just assumed she was busy as fuck, but… et tu, everyone?”

Hannah’s head turned slowly to stare down Zach. In self defense, he held up both hands with one pointing at me. “She told me not to say anything.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I did!”

Carefully, Conor slowly asked the question that was on everyone else’s minds. “Sophie? What’s so funny?”

Tears were pouring down my face at this point - not because I thought the situation was funny, because it wasn’t. Not really.  I was hysterical because I was so caught off guard that we still brought something like this with us. “I don’t know the real reason why nobody considered Xiomara, and I’m scared to ask at this point. I’m hoping it’s because she looks tough as hell and like the kind of person who would beat up highly educated people rather than be one.” Wiping a tear from my face, I glanced at Tyche. Her jaw was tight, clearly thinking the same things I was. “But the fact that she is the only other woman on the Council, that hurts, honestly.”

I took a few deep breaths to compose myself. “The fact is, Xiomara has five degrees. Five. Along with her military career. Tyche and I have to know this, since we handle staffing.” Counting on my fingers, I started ticking them off. “Two doctorates, one in international law and one in experimental economics - as in, yes, the calorie economy was her idea. A Master’s in military history, along with two Bachelor’s degrees: one in experimental chemistry and one in nuclear physics.” Shaking my head, I glanced at the shocked and guilty expressions in the room. “It isn’t three PhDs, but damn, y’all. The woman has five degrees!”

“How did she do that, and a military career, so young?” Maverick asked, his tone nothing but awed.

Antoine looked confused at the question. “My friend, how old do you think Xiomara is?”

He shrugged. “Sophie’s age? So, thirtyish?”

Conor poked him. “Mav. You know how old Sophie is.”

Maverick rolled his eyes. “Fine. So maybe forty? The whole healing stuff messes with me, I’ll be honest.”

Smiling, I cut him some slack. “Xiomara is just over ten years older than me,” I clarified.

Hannah’s eyes widened, and Zach looked like he had been punched in the gut. “So hot-scary-lady is fifty?” After Tyche and I nodded, he shook his head. “That’s still super-impressive for fifty. For seventy, even!” Zach shook his head. “Grey, I could understand. They seem like the type to just live for education, you know? But, Xio? I’ve known for a year and I still get dizzy thinking about it.”

“It does explain why she’s so intimidating,” Conor pointed out. When I opened my mouth to scold him, he held up one hand. “No! No. Doctorates have to be argued and defended, right? Plus one of those is in law. And she balanced a military career on top of all that. If I accomplished all that, people would look at me with respect and expect me to be a direct, take-no-prisoners kind of person.” He glanced at Antoine, who winced and nodded in confirmation. 

“She isn’t though,” I complained. “She’s a leader.”

“Definitely not ruthless, but she is intimidating to the general population,” Hannah pointed out gently. “That’s part of what Jokul was talking about, right? The Ark, as a whole, doesn’t get to see her get excited over her favorite foods, or pictures of baby pandas, or…. Cherries? Is it cherries she’s crazy for?”

“Pomegranate,” I corrected, begrudgingly.

“Pomegranate,” Hannah asserted. “They don’t get to see that. They get to see ‘hot-scary-lady who lays down the law’. Not ‘Xiomara who gets googly eyed when Parvati Fletcher wears that one violet shirt’.”

“Or hates plantains,” Tyche pointed out. “Which never made sense to me, because fried plantains are basically dessert with dinner.”

I started to giggle a bit. “It makes even less sense when you’ve seen her order coffee.” Tyche groaned, but more confused looks bounded about the room. Full out laughing, I explained. “She… she puts… maybe three ounces of coffee? Not espresso, just regular coffee… with what looks like a gallon - “ I snorted so hard it hurt my nose, but couldn’t stop. “Of milk! And sugar! Oh gods, she must put a cup of sugar in her coffee, I swear!”

Hannah and Zach exchanged glances, as did Conor and Maverick. Within seconds, the entire room erupted in laughter. “That?” Conor gasped. “That is hilarious….”

“I...I always thought… she took her coffee blacker than sin….” Zach wheezed. “And baby pandas?”

Sobering suddenly, I straightened and glared at the entire room. “OI!” I shouted. “Baby pandas are fucking cute, and if you don’t think so, you aren’t human, and I will ask Noah to do genetic testing to prove that.”

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[addierose444]

How I Got Into Smith: Part II

In part I, I wrote about my high school extracurricular activities. In this post, I focus on the academic side of my application. I’ll be honest that these posts weren’t as well planned as I would have liked and that ideally, this part would have been first. It was initially going to be a single post, but I didn't have enough time to finalize this part before my unofficial deadline of Sunday at 11:59. It worked out in the end as splitting it into two parts created a new blog post out of thin air. Furthermore, it turns out I had a lot more to add to this part. 

My academics were definitely a strong aspect of my college applications. For some additional context, I applied to Smith regular decision and was admitted with a presidential scholarship. To learn more about merit aid at Smith, click here. Smith was my first choice throughout the application process and I actually submitted my application before the early decision deadline. To read more about why I chose Smith or more accurately why it became my first choice, click here. For additional context, I attended a public high school in Vermont with a graduating class size of 106 with 65% of the class attending two and four-year colleges. If this post is interesting to you, you may also enjoy reading about my academic journey to engineering and computer science. 

I’ve always loved school and education has been a top priority. Between middle and high school, I took six and a half years worth of high school science classes. In addition to the advanced track of our regular curriculum, I took a marine biology class that included a research trip to Bermuda and three APs (chemistry, biology, and physics C mechanics). You can read more about my AP experience here. Of the three main sciences, physics is my favorite. As a class though, I think AP biology was the best. I won departmental awards my first and last years. I was really proud of the first science award as it was a special award created just for me (as opposed to for a specific class year). The crazy thing about taking all these science classes is that I have taken very few science classes here at Smith. Thinking about this irony is part of why I thought to write this post in the first place. Technically I have only taken two science classes (PHY 118 and PHY 210) during my time at Smith. (And to be honest, PHY 210 hardly counts as it's really just an applied math class that’s offered by the physics department). You can check out all of my Smith courses here. The reality is that I fulfilled the introductory chemistry and physics requirements of my engineering major with AP credits.

In addition to lots of science classes, I doubled up on math classes in ninth and eleventh grades. Granted I didn’t take math my senior year and retook calculus at Smith. I think there were some clear flaws in my math education as many of the courses were too easy and had too much overlap year to year. At the same time, we didn’t cover enough trigonometry and had other gaps in our precalculus course. I did learn a lot in my AP statistics class and was surprised by how much I enjoyed the content. It makes total sense in retrospect as I now see math as an interesting and useful tool. Back in elementary and middle school, math was my favorite subject and I loved it in isolation of other subjects and real-life applications. In ninth grade, I got a math award, but unlike the other departmental awards, a lot of people got them. 

My favorite class of high school was AP computer science A. In that course, I learned Java and the basics of object-oriented programing. In ninth grade, I’d been introduced to computer science through a semester-long Python course. In my senior year, I took an online website development course from my state university. I learned HTML, CSS, and some PHP. I also took a semester-long engineering course. It didn’t have math or science prerequisites, lectures, or structured assignments. What it did provide was a fun self-directed opportunity to learn how to use our new CNC machine and work with (mostly fix) the 3D printers.  

Four years of English were required to graduate, so I took our required ninth and tenth-grade courses followed by an advanced expository writing course and an advanced literature course called world authors. I’ve always loved reading, but English classes and literary analysis aren’t really my thing. To read some of my reflections on writing, click here. I managed to win an English award my sophomore year which was cool as I’d never really seen English as a strong subject of mine. Granted, I didn’t like my sophomore English class as it only had seven other students who clearly didn’t want to be there and didn’t do assignments well or on time. I also took French all through high school and won awards my first and last years. I was generally more engaged with school than my peers, but French is where my peers’ lack of engagement had the most negative effect on my learning. I’m not trying to brag about any of my academic awards, but I do genuinely believe I did stand out on my own merit. When it came to French, it was more just that there wasn’t much competition. 

Social science classes were the ones I generally avoided. Knowing that I only needed three years of social science to graduate and having already doubled up on math and science, I skipped the ninth-grade social science class. As a sophomore, I took the advanced version of our sophomore social science class called democratic roots. As a junior, I took AP U.S. history as U.S. history was required to graduate. The other AP courses were of actual interest to me and this was the only one I took for the AP designation. It was one of my least favorite courses, but I defend my decision to take it as the regular version was sort of a joke at my school. Furthermore, the APUSH teacher was also the advisor for the school publication and was able to write what I presume to be a strong letter of recommendation. As a senior, I took a semester of AP art history and another semester of art history through my local community college. The AP course was entirely online through UC Scout. I didn’t finish the AP course as the community college version was free due to my state’s dual enrollment program. The community college course was also fully online and was much more limited in scope.  

I was in the jazz band from eighth through tenth grade. I played the electric bass, an instrument I picked up because they needed a bass player. Jazz isn’t my kind of music, so I never really got into it. To check out some of my favorite songs and musical history, click the respective links. I “quit” the jazz band as it conflicted with AP chemistry. The bass is an integral part of the rhythm section, but rhythm doesn’t come naturally to me and is challenging even with deliberate practice. I was used to being in all of the advanced courses but was in the intermediate jazz band with eighth and ninth graders. Additional required electives included health, financial literacy, and three semesters of physical education. The only class I did over the summer was an independent study for physical education credit. The running I did for the self-directed course probably helped earn me a spot on the varsity field hockey team. I also took a weight lifting class which I absolutely hated. 

I wasn’t planning on sharing my actual stats, as there is so much more to college admissions than raw scores or even academics. What really matters is (in terms of academics) is the rigor of your courses in the context of the high school you attend. However, if you’ve read this far, I don’t really mind sharing my actual grades and scores. I earned straight As throughout high school and had a GPA of 4.26 (unweighted on a 4.33 scale). My school didn’t officially do class rank, but I am almost positive I had the highest grade point average. I do know that at the end of my junior year I had attained the “highest level of academic achievement” which I presume takes into account courses and grades. A lot of schools have gone test-optional due to the pandemic, but it’s worth noting that Smith was already test-optional. I don’t know exactly how merit scholarships work, but I am guessing that a strong SAT/ACT score would be necessary to earn one. My SAT score was 1500 (780 math and 720 verbal). I did study a lot over the summer before senior year and improved by almost 150 points from my PSAT. I also submitted SAT subject test scores of 790 for chemistry and 770 for math level II. 

[madisonhentosh]

The Legacy on Tremont Street

When thinking of dominant hockey programs, an individual’s mind may drift straight towards Canada or even Minnesota. But, some of the best hockey is played right here in Boston, specifically in the city of Lynn on the North Shore.

The St. Mary’s Spartans have made a legacy, proving their dominance in Massachusetts high school sports, by capturing 24 state championship titles along with 12 consecutive years of championships. One individual responsible for 5 out of 24 of those titles is Frank Pagliuca, head coach of the women’s ice hockey team.

Coach Frank is a caring, selfless individual who likes to win, but winning also isn’t everything. He wants and expects the best out of every player since he knows potential when he sees it. On the ice and on the bench, he is stern, making players aware of their mistakes, but also encouraging, applauding his players for their smart and simple plays.

Pagliuca, a Wakefield native who now resides in Lynnfield, with wife Cara and their 3 daughters, and has taught physical education in Lexington for the past 19 years, played his college hockey at nearby UMass Boston where he was an anchor on the blue line for the Beacons. Since taking over the reign as the women’s hockey coach at the Lynn school in 2005, Pagliuca has produced a career record of 300 wins, 64 losses, and 37 ties up to this point. 100 of those wins came consecutively as his team remained undefeated for almost three full seasons in 2013 before they lost to Hingham. To add to that specific season, MTV even offered the team a reality TV show outlining the girls and their everyday lives as they were one of the most successful teams in the nation. The offer was respectfully declined as winning and player development was the top priority in the mind of Pagliuca.

Pagliuca has been an influential coach to many and has produced many college athletes from his program. Former members of the Spartans have continued to play at such colleges and universities as Providence, St. Anselm, St. Michael’s, Endicott, Salem State, UNE, and Southern Maine.

To gain a better understanding of the changing dynamics of the hockey world and a behind the scenes look as to what coaches look for in players, we sat down with the man in charge to pick his brain.

*********

Interview with St. Mary's Lynn head women’s hockey coach Frank Pagliuca.

Coaching:

How important is it to create well-rounded individuals as compared to just good athletes?

Very important. One thing that I stress to my players is the fact that there’s going to come a day where you don’t play your sport anymore, but there won’t come a day where you should stop being a good person. People will not remember you for how many goals you scored or how many career points you had, they will remember you based on the individual that you were. Many qualities of athletes, especially hockey players, make them more attractive to employers. Employers want athletes on their team for their motivation, communication skills, hard-working attributes, and abil;ity to work cohesively on a team.

How would you handle a losing season? Why would you respond in that way?

Losing seasons, as disappointing as they can be, in my eyes, is looked at as a learning experience.Winning consistently is a gradual process. In order to achieve that, a good coach must recognize the mistakes his/her team is making, teach them the right way, and fix mistakes. Lessons are best learned through failure.  

I would choose to respond this way because you cannot dwell. Dwelling on the past and past mistakes only drives you crazy. Nothing can be done about the losses taken, but lessons can be learned in order to make us better.

What basic values do you attempt to teach through coaching?

Team skills such as listening and communication are some basic skills, and values, of the game that should be taught through coaching. Although simple, they hold high importance.

Not only are these values important to the game of hockey,  but they also expand out into the real world along with inside the classroom.

Communication is key. Being able to understand others and the ability to be understood by others is key in developing relationships. These relationships help build chemistry which leads to a team who is comfortable with each other and helps each other out when they need it most.

Listening is important when getting told what to do from a coach or when teammates are communicating with you. Messages are easily misunderstood without the ability to listen effectively. Being able to listen shows you are curious and eager to learn rather than doing whatever you want to do when you feel like it.

What role does positive reinforcement play in your coaching philosophy?

Well, if someone does something well, I am going to tell them. But, I am also going to tell them if they did something wrong. Balancing a reward and punishment philosophy is the route I tend to go. Positive reinforcement is important to prove to players that they are doing the right thing and that you want them to continue to do that. Without punishment, players will never learn and or know their mistakes and will continue to make those same mistakes.

In players:

What are some adjectives that you would use to describe a successful hockey player?

One very important characteristic that I believe makes a good hockey player is fearlessness. If you play with fear, you play timid and not to your full potential. Hockey players cannot be scared to make mistakes, they are inevitable. Being versatile maximizes your talents. Sometimes a player might not want to play a certain position, but it is important for them to be open to that change and able to jump in at any spot. Because this player is able to get more opportunities due to their versatility and being open to change, their value is maximized and more valued.

Resilient people are better able to handle stress and adversity and rebuild their lives after a challenge. Change is inevitable in the game of hockey, and in life, so one must be ready to get back up when they are knocked down.

Hockey IQ is something that separates good hockey players from great hockey players. The game rewards the players that can think fast and execute. Time and space is so valuable in this game that the value of being smart becomes even more important. This includes anticipating passes before they are made, making quick decisions with the puck, and knowing what play to make when you do get the puck.

How has the world of girls hockey changed over the years? Is competition getting better or is it on the decline?

The world of girls hockey has experienced drastic changes over the years. When I first started coaching, there were little to no girls who expressed interest in the sport as compared to now where the interest is through the roofs. For us especially, this year was one of our biggest turnouts at tryouts despite the challenges of the pandemic.

Some of the girls who came out for tryouts this year were new to the game and have never played the game competitively. This shows the growing popularity and interest of girls hockey and further proves that the game is not on the decline.

Competition amongst opponents and individual skill levels of players in general have improved as a result of persistent training and the introduction of new club programs into the business. Players are able to join club teams and expose themselves to other impressive and skilled players along with having the opportunity to sharpen their skills in weekly practices, games, and or off-ice training. This consistent reinforcement of skills has contributed to the increase in individual skill level and competition in general.

One thing that has become more common over the years is prep school, or boarding school. It is a common assumption that prep schools have better competition and more opportunities as compared to the public school realm. In the end, as experienced first hand through some of my players, no matter if you play at a prep school or public school, coaches at the next level will find you. Talent will reward itself.

To conclude:

What are you most proud of?

I am most proud of the community that we have made here at St. Mary’s. There are many individual and group accomplishments that I could touch on, but the true reward is building an atmosphere that people want to come back to. Former players who have graduated still come back to either skate in practices and even become assistant coaches. It’s not all about the trophies, records, or amount of wins, it's about the people you meet and the relationships you develop.

[takebackthefalls02]

Broken? I’d say yes.

Not a lot of science has been dedicated to Asexuality. Because what a boring ass thing to research. But that aside--we don’t have a lot on it. However, humans which are animals, can and do thrive on sexual intimacy. It is a natural act, reguardless of intention. Whether it’s for mating, bonding, or just straight up pleasure; it’s valid, and no scientist of human biology will tell you otherrwise. Even Dolphins have sex for pleasure. 

While humans have reached a plane of understanding and self than other animals; humans again are still animals. And any naturalist will tell you that an animal that has a sudden loss or immediate aversion to finding a mate (homosexual or not), it is instantly reguarded as an issue. That animal will suffer both socially and mentally. As it is not it’s natural modus operandi to do so. (And no, you are not special for “ “overcoming” your natural monkey brain.”) You find me an animal that naturally doesn’t, I’ll re-think this but funnily enough about the only thing you could show me is animals that reproduce asexually. See, that’s where that term originally comes from. An animal that does not need a mate of the opposite sex to procrerate. But they STILL have a need for a bond. Even animals that are natural loners such as tigers for instance, still meet up, bond and mate. The research and science on Asexuality is still on-going with no answers. Not even close to concrete. We don’t even know if it’s biological, or a picked up trait. While there are arguments for Pros of this “orientation” here is also a list of Cons you should consider and mentally file through and eliminate before you make your choice: Bogaert (2004, 2006) identified some of the characteristics of asexuals as follows: 1. More women than men 2. Slightly older than sexuals 3. Low self-esteem 4. Low socioeconomic status 5. Weighed less 6. Poorer health 7. More religious and attended religious services more often 8. Asocial 9. Social anxiety 10. Anxiety 11. Depression

Note: While “less well-educated” was also cited, this finding was contradicted by Prause and Graham (2007).  1. Asexuality is a lack of sexual orientation or sexuality, not an orientation.

2. Asexuality is a denial of one’s natural sexuality.

3. Asexuality is generalized low libido (which is a medical condition)

4. Asexuality is the result of sexual anxiety or shame.

5. Asexuality is Sexual Aversion

6. Unlike the other major orientations, it is not known when asexuality is determined.

7. It is not known definitively whether asexuality is life-long or acquired. Here is the entire article so no one accuses me of merely cherry picking: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/magnetic-partners/201406/asexuality We all know the research of homosexuality in nature and it’s quite common and natural as well.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6p1nmOnILA Here is a link to a video talking about not only the biology behind homosexuality but it’s usefulness in society. And please, don’t even get me started on Aromantics. Look, I get that not everyone likes the whole roses and heart-shaped boxes shit, but refusing that type of connection with someone just seems to zap the life out of relationships in general. Why wouldn’t you want to be romanced? Why wouldn’t you want someone to show you they care in a tender and loving, personal way? Romance doesn’t always imply sex and whoever told you that is an idiot and you’re a bigger idiot for believing it if you do. Asexuals bring nothing to the table. I mean, unless you want a best friend or a pet. Or population control. I guess that’s a plus for Aces?They even come pre-friendzoned! So no awkward conversation needed! What IS the scientific use for an animal that does not reproduce nor seeks out that kind of bond?  Some will say Ace’s can have bonds, but of what? Friendship or cuddles? Now sure Ace people argue that it’s a spectrum and there are some Asexuals that are okay with sex and still perform the act. They just say that it’s “not high on their needs list”.

It is usually defined as someone who just doesn’t experience sexual attraction. How can you have sex with someone you have no sexual attraction to? You’ve got to find something about them alluring, something about them physically that you find beautiful and arousing. Not caring for sex is not a sexuality. It is a personality trait. And a very boring and disappointing one at that. Demi and Grey as well. You arent an entire new sexuality just because you prefer to only have a physical relationship with someone you emotionally connect with. And Grey vacilitates between ace and aro? Why split hairs? It’s just your fucking personality. If you have legitimate sexual trauma, that’s understandable, but you aren’t Ace, you just have trauma. Get help. Talk to someone, grow past it, become stronger. Don’t just give up on one of the most intimate, natural and bonding experiences a person can have. If you have a distaste for sexual organs in general, that is also a you problem and your parents failed you in the talk and noramlising sex for you. Any good doctor or psychatrist worth their salt will tell you sex is not only good for you physically but also mentally and emotionally.  If you feel you’re Ace because you had a bad sexual experience, I have news for you: You’re not Ace, your lover just sucked and didn’t know what the fuck they were doing. Get you a better lover and someone who can make you feel comfortable and confident. Some will argue that sex isn’t everything and you know what? I agree. It isn’t. You can certainly have a great mental or emotional relationship with someone, and can really vibe on an intellectual or moral level. Absolutely, I jive with this sentiment too. But good sexual chemistry between individuals can and does make bonds stronger. Also to any Ace people who have openly mocked, or shown disgust to those who really enjoy sex, talking about sex, loving the act and are comfortable with their sexuality and their body---fuck you. We are not degenerates, we are not disgusting, we are not perverts. Your view is just skewed and you’re broken. Fix that shit. Think hard before you label yourself this, you might just realise you have other issues that need to be considered or addressed. Let yourself explore yourself, be open, talk to someone about concerns. Because it’s better to rule everything else out before you put yourself in such a limiting position. You are barely over 1% of the population; good fucking luck.

[cxlvins]

...000. INTRODUCTION.

helloooo lovelies ! my name is evan (he/him), i’m twenty-two and from the gmt timezone ! i’m super excited for this to open because i’ve got so much muse right now. i’m down for any and all plots, seriously, i love plotting ! this is calvin, he’s an angry mess of a character, but he’s fun to play, so ! if you just wanna get to know the character, you can skip past the other sections and just focus on personality, i’ve also put some wanted connections in there too ! if you would like to plot, then either shoot me a message here or on discord (heterosexual? how vintage!#8600) or alternatively, like this post and i will message you !

caution: alcohol, drugs, mental health, death.

›› ✱ xavier serrano, cismale, he/him. you’ve met calvin marx, right? they’re around twenty-three and a twitch streamer. they’re all about thrift store clothing and the faint smell of cologne and cigarettes, hence why they’re known as the spitfire around town. everyone knows them to be pretty gregarious but i’ve heard they’re actually sort of volatile, too… don’t tell them i said that, okay?

...001. BRIEF HISTORY.

calvin grew up very underprivileged for the first 11 years of his life in brooklyn, ny.

his father died when he was 5 years old to a drug overdose, leading his mother became a single mother to him and his younger sister, essentially meaning that calvin had to grow up and be the ‘man of the house’ without having a choice.

because of her new single-mother status, calvins mother had to work 3 different jobs in order for the family to pay rent (a cleaner in mornings, a store assistant in the day and a bartender in the evenings), which meant she was rarely home and left calvin to raise both himself and younger sister.

from a very early age, it was apparent that calvin suffered from anger issues, dyslexia and adhd, constantly getting into fights at every opportunity, his complete inability to focus and never managing to make it through a week at school without a phone call home.

these issues remained untreated, due to his mother putting it down to the ‘boys will be boys’ ideology, and concluding that calvin was just an energetic one at that.

because of this, calvin fell into the wrong crowd pretty quickly and settled into his mindset that he was never going to achieve all that much anyway, because no matter how hard he tried, he could never score well on any test at school.

at the age of 9, calvins mother met, fell in love with and soon married a former client for whom she cleaned for.  calvins new step father was incredibly wealthy, due to being a successful franchisee and also being very largely into stock trading.

calvin, his sister and mother were all moved to his home in cherrybrooks, which calvin struggled to adjust to, as he missed his friends back north.

now having access to as much money as he want led him down an early path into experimenting with drugs and alcohol, which soon became a bad habit.

although he wanted to drop out of school, his new step-father would not allow it, which became a large source of conflict for the family over the course of the next few years.

failing to graduate high school at age eighteen, calvin couldn’t deal with living with his family any more and left the house to move into a small apartment, 30 minutes away, with a roommate (possibly a member of the clique).

calvins only real passions were for gaming and sport, and as he smoked and did way too many drugs to make it in any sporting profession, he turned his attention to twitch streaming. he began this pretty soon and built up a solid fanbase (which he wanted to call the marxists, but in calvins words, apparently some dead man already claimed that title).

...002. PERSONALITY.

calvin is a naturally angry person who can lose his cool and go from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds, he rarely gives off signs that he is getting angry until he boils over, so people tend to watch what they say around him.

calvin is self-serving, his feelings will always come before those around him. although he is getting better at managing this, if something will result in calvin gaining something at the expense of somebody else, he will most likely go ahead with it.

calvin is not well educated, so he doesn’t tend to enjoy arguing with words, as he can never seem to find the ones to correctly express how he feels. instead, calvin is much more likely to act physically when something has irritated him (whether this be on a person or inanimate object).

calvin is an awful liar, he cannot lie to save his life as his face always tends to show when he doesn’t agree with an idea/opion/thought that somebody says. because of this, he is very outspoken, and will just say what he’s thinking regardless of if it’s going to hurt somebodies feelings. he’d rather upset them with the truth, than get caught out for lying.

calvin is an extrovert and gains energy from being around people - the more people the better, because of this, he has become a major party animal and loves attending any and all parties that is going on, despite if he’s fond of the hosts or not.

calvin is a heavy user of drugs, alcohol & cigarettes. this is primarily down to his naturally addictive personality and constant need to feel like he’s happy, so that he doesn’t get sad again. there will rarely be a day where he will not  be intoxicated in some way and he will have a cigarette at least once an hour – and that’s on a good day.

calvin is very much into sports. although not a natural athlete, nor somebody interested in playing sports competitively, calvin loves watching any and all sports, and he likes to play them when he can. due to his smoking habit, he can’t play sports for too long, but will always give it a good go.

similarly to this, calvin is very much into gaming. calvin loves fast-paced games, because they manage to keep his attention despite him not having a very long attention span. most games that he plays are first person shooters, and he’s usually the guy on the mic screaming when a teammate fucks up during online play. a big appeal to him was that games were the only thing he could focus his mind on as a child.

calvin is very much a boys boy, he genuinely abides by the bible of ‘ bros before hoes ‘ because he’s stupid.

calvin hates movies but loves tv, he finds that watching moves involves sitting still for too long, but tv allows him to take more breaks and keeps his interest for longer. although. he’d probably trade both of them for a chance to leave the house.

...003. TRAITS.

[ G R E G A R I O U S ] (+) — a person fond of company; sociable.

[ I N T U I T I V E ] (+) — using or based on what one feels to be true even without conscious reasoning; instinctive.

[ F O R T H R I G H T ] (+) — direct and outspoken.

[ V O L A T I L E ] (-) — liable to change rapidly and unpredictably, especially for the worse.

[ V E N G E F U L ] (-) — not willing to forgive or excuse people’s faults or wrongdoings.

[ H E D O N I S T I C ] (-) — engaged in the pursuit of pleasure; sensually self-indulgent.

...004. WANTED CONNECTIONS.

CURRENT BEST FRIENDS — Possibly a boy squad? I live for a good boy squad. This person will have similar interests to Calvin, or be able to tolerate his volatile mood.

CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS — Someone with a similar upbringing from Brooklyn, most likely they grew apart when Calvin moved to Wilmington.

RIDE OR DIES — Although he primarily looks out for himself, I’m down to have Calvin have one person who he’s loyal to and will refuse to betray, we can come up with a fun reason for why he cares so much if you’re interested in this one.

HIS ROOMMATE — Somebody that moved with Calvin into his current apartment when he moved out at 18.

A GOOD INFLUENCE ON CALVIN — One of my favorite connections for Calvin to have is somebody who knows all of his flaws and attempts to help fix them. They’ll have to be patient, though, as Calvin doesn’t see himself for having any issues.

SOMEBODY HE IS A BAD INFLUENCE OF — On the opposite, I love when Calvin has somebody that he can introduce to bad things, corrupt easily and get a kick out of watching the commotion.

EXES ON BAD TERMS — Cheating on each other is usually an easy one to go with, but if you want, we can think of something more unique as to how it all fucked up and why they now hate each other.

EXES ON GOOD TERMS — Maybe they still occasionally fuck? There could still be an attraction there, but just no romantic chemistry. Alternatively, they tried it and both just couldn’t see it going anywhere.

EXES WITH LINGERING FEELINGS — There’s a ton of different reasons for why there’s still lingering feelings. The feelings could be one-sided or both ways.

EX FLINGS — Started as friends with benefits, one of them wanted more, the other didn’t, they decided to stop before someone got hurt.

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS — No romantic intention, just a good way to kill time at 2 AM, or maybe it’s easy to know you have someone to go home to if you don’t find someone at a party.

FRIENDS FOR NECESSITY — This friend may not have that much in common with Calvin, they may not really get on in day to day life, but they are always there to get high, attend a party or do something dumb. an easy person to talk to when they’re both bored and wanna get out.

HIS YOUNGER SISTER — If anybody fancies a second character, I’m always down to have Calvins sister in the roleplay. They can either get along or not, we’ll just figure out the details.

EX FRIENDS — Used to be close but now aren’t, plenty of reasons as to why.

ENEMIES — Despise each other, seeing this person literally makes Calvins blood boil. Possibly sexual tension too if that would work, if not, they can just fight a lot.

WILL THEY / WON’T THEY — Lots of leading on and teasing each other, maybe they both think they’re stringing the other along but it turns out neither of them are interested? Maybe they start out not interested and it backfires later, by that time the other could’ve lost interest.

ANY OTHER IDEAS YOU THINK WILL WORK !

...005. ADDITIONAL INFORMATION.

Calvin is bisexual but heteroromantic, so any sexual-based connections can be taken by any gender.

Calvins Pinterest can be located here. Please note that it contains triggers for alcohol, drugs, blood & violence.

[ft-stories-lgbt]

Hi love! We need to start talking more, I miiiss you ;w;. Could I request some headcanons? [Headcanons] Team Natsu + Spring, Summer, Autumn & Winter. - Thank you, you amazing person!

Hi love ! I'm sorry I took a little time to give you an answer, I've been busy and I wanted to do something really complete for this one, so I hope you'll like it! Like I mention it to you earlier, it's an OT4, and also an AU!

I don't deserve these compliments come on... 🙈

*

Spring : Lucy

"I grab your hand and then we run to the car

Singing in the street and playing air guitar

Stuck between my teeth just like a candy bar

And I wonder if it goes too far to say

I've never recognized a purer face

You stopped me in my tracks and put me right in my place

Used to think that loving meant a painful chase

But you're right here now and I think you'll stay"

Beautiful stranger- Halsey

-

• Spring is the season that Lucy loves the most, mostly because it means flowers are out again and that summer is almost here. 

• But the main reason is, it was during spring that she met Erza, Natsu and Gray, and that she fell in love with them.

• She met Natsu first, they shared a class at university as she was in her last year of studies. She was new in town, just tranferred to the college, and Natsu was the first one to come and talk to her. He was all smile and loud voice and it didn't take long for her to catch feelings for him. They had great chemistry; always sitting next to each other, close and touchy. It was rare to see them apart on the campus. They were two months in this friendship when Natsu said he wanted her to meet his partners: Erza and Gray. 

• She didn't know what to make of this very sentence at first, because despite Natsu being so open with her, he never let anything along the lines slip from his lips before; never mentioned anything. She thought maybe he chose the wrong terms instead of using "Friends". 

• Natsu invited her to his place just after one of their late class, and she realised that after two months, this was the first time she was going to his house. 

• She remembers being surprised to find out that when Natsu opened the door, two people were already in there; but what really stunned her was the way Natsu had a fond smile on his lips as he made his way toward them, landing a kiss on each cheek. She stayed by the door for a few seconds before they introduced themselves warmly, a gentle smile on their faces. 

• Erza immediately made her comfortable. Lucy couldn't take her eyes off her, as she realised how beautiful the girl was. Her long red hair was shining with the artificial light and her face glowed with a certain happiness which Lucy always thought only Natsu was capable of. 

• Gray was a real mystery for her at first though. While he smiled gently and talked to her very politely, Lucy didn't miss the way he had an eye on her during all evening, as if he was judging whether she was good enough to be around them, but around Natsu. He made sure to stay between Natsu and her during dinner, making himself like a barrier.

• During this evening she recalls seeing how gentle brush of hands was made among the three of them. Natsu often kept a hand on Gray’s over the table, or he didn't hesitate to fix a strand of hair behind Erza's ear. Gray even got rid of something in the corner of Natsu's mouth with his thumb and Erza laid a kiss on their temples each time she got a chance. 

• Before she left that night, Gray softly grabbed her wrist to tell her "I like you, I hope I'll see you more often".

• She didn't really want to make assumptions about their relationship at first but after finding out the three of them were living together and shared a room and two other months of them being physical and surprised at seeing at least one of them making out with one of the other two, she concluded that they were together, and that when Natsu said "partners" he didn't mean it as friends. 

• Since she had feelings for Natsu, she thought she would be jealous but it turns out she just felt happy for them and somehow she finds herself wishing for them to include her in their relation. 

• Which they did, little by little. At first, Natsu invited her, alone, to go see a movie. They kept holding hands during the movie but she didn't allow herself to hope.

• Then Erza took her to a bakery where she spent an hour being spoon-fed by her, with various pieces of cake. 

• And finally Gray told her to come over once, the two of them were alone and they enjoyed dinner. The apartment was arranged nicely, with candles and flowers everywhere. 

• And they all did this a couple of dozens more time but it took until the following year for her to do something about it as she realised her feelings for Natsu were now expanded to Erza and Gray.

• They were on the couch, watching a movie. She was sitting next to Gray, who had an arm around her shoulders, while Erza slid her fingers between Gray's free hand. Natsu was lying on her other side, his head resting on her lap. She didn't really pay attention to the movie, her eyes only meeting the people around her and after what felt like hours she said, "I love you all, more than I love spring."

• For a few seconds, no one said anything back, but soon enough she could feel the way Gray tightened his grip around her shoulders while Erza and Natsu took each of her hands. "We love you too," they said back.

• After that night, she never left their side.

*

Summer : Natsu

"Tastes like strawberries on a summer evenin'

And it sounds just like a song

I want more berries and that summer feelin'

It's so wonderful and warm"

Watermelon Sugar - Harry Styles.

-

• For as long as Natsu can remember, Gray, Erza, and he always knew each other even if the other two were 2 years older than him. They grew up in the same street, houses only a few feet apart.

• There's not a day in his mind where Erza and Gray are not there. For him, it always felt like they were together all the time. He has always known them as if they are a part of him.

• It's only natural that he was the one to start all of this relationship thing.

• He never felt scared, since Gray and Erza were the only constants in his life. He had other friends of course, but he realised quickly that the thing they had between the three of them was something specific to only them.

• When Natsu first brought the subject up, he was 13 and Erza and Gray were 15. They were at the park, feeding the birds when Natsu said, "When we'll be older, I want to live with both of you. I love you." Natsu never used unnecessary words, always going straight to the point, so the other two knew he wasn't joking and knew about the meaning behind it as well. Gray only said, "I'll wait for it then."

• They shared their first kiss when Natsu was 16. It was during summer vacation, and Gray and Erza were preparing their stuff to leave for college. And while they knew that they could still see each other almost every day, Natsu felt like it was a big change for all of them since they will be busy with other things. He was sad about it and when he voiced it, Gray called him an idiot before giving him a kiss on his lips. He didn't even have the chance to fully comprehend the situation before Erza did the same.

• And from then, their relationship slowly started to shift into something more intimate.

• Gray and Erza began to live together first, and when Natsu finally finished high school, he officially joined them.

• In the beginning, it was a real mess. They may have spent their life together but they never really experienced the all "living together"; it took them nearly four months to finally have some understanding between them.

• A few years passed, and Natsu was in his last year at the university when he met Lucy. It felt surreal for him since he spent his life making his entire world around Gray and Erza, and when he started having feelings toward Lucy, he decided it was a good thing if he talked about it to the other two.

• Erza and Gray were wary at first, after all, they never talked about the possibility of one of them finding someone else, or wanting to add someone else.

• But once they met Lucy, it was like it was meant to be, and Natsu couldn't be happier about it.

• They spent long nights talking about the possibility of her joining them. And when a year later they found themselves being together, the four of them laying on the bed, Natsu couldn't be gladder that for once, he allowed himself to see more than the world that he created around Gray and Erza.

*

Autumn : Erza

"Cause you're safe like spring time

Short days, long nights, boy

Tell me all the ways to love you

Cause you taste like Lucky Strikes

You drag, I light, boy

Tell me all the ways to love you"

Lucky Strike - Troye Sivan

-

• It took Erza a long time to admit her own feelings toward the boys first. Mainly because her family never approved of her always being with them, even when they were young. Her parents were overprotective and very strict about their education since she was a girl. But Erza never quite fit in the picture.

• She can't remember how many time she went out through her window, running toward the park just to join Natsu and Gray. She always got into trouble after that but it was worth it in the end.

• When they finally got together, Erza decided to tell her parents about it. And as she expected the news didn't sit well with them.

• She was a few weeks into college when she told them. It ended up in a fight and she left the house in a hurry to end up in the park where she used to meet Gray and Natsu.

• She remembers laying in the ground, the brown leaves cracking under her weight. Autumn was there for almost two weeks then, and despite the situation, she found a little peace in the quiet environment. She doesn't know for how long she stayed there, but at some point, two figures were standing above her and a gentle voice rang in her ears:

"This season suits you dearly, darling. It does a good thing to the colour of your hair.” It was silly, but Natsu’s words managed to bring the smile back on her lips.

"How did you know I was here?" She only asked back.

"Well, you didn't answer your phone and we called at least ten times," Gray said gently. "So we decided to come and check here first. You always come here when something is wrong."

She said nothing more but soon enough there were two bodies laying on each of her sides.

• After this episode, Erza barely kept contact with her parents, but somehow it didn't really bother her. She always felt trapped with them, and she could now taste a little freedom with only her two boyfriends by her side. And the fact that their family were nice and supportive probably helped too.

• And until Lucy, she was perfectly fine with this small circle of people around her. She never imagined someone else being part of their relationship.

• But just like it felt normal for her to be with Natsu and Gray, it also felt natural for her that Lucy joined them and shared their love.

• Since the first time she met the blonde, Gray and Natsu never stop teasing her about how soft she is towards the girl. If she can be harsh towards the boys, with Lucy it's always different. She talks softly and gently to the girl, and she can barely say no to her.

• The boys used that particular bond between the two to get the things they want and knew that if they were the one asking, she would say no. Erza didn't take long to notice it but never said anything, finding amusing the way Lucy would come to her, cheeks flushed and a timid look on her face, to ask for something silly that the boys would have convinced her to do.

*

Winter: Gray

"Walk in your rainbow paradise

Strawberry lipstick state of mind

I get so lost inside your eyes

Would you believe it?"

Adore you - Harry Styles

-

• Gray never really was someone who liked to meet new people and make new friends, even when he was young. Therefore, it came as a surprise to his parents when he introduced them to Natsu and Erza in the park during winter. Gray's parents noticed quite early that the relationship between the three was special and something only meant for them. And they did nothing against it, too happy that their son finally let someone in.

• At some point, the Fullbuster's house was at least twice a week filled with two boys and a girl for dinner.

• And when they left to live together, they made a point to keep coming every Sunday for lunch.

• His parents were always a big support for the three of them, even when Natsu lost his parents at the end of his last year of high school. They managed to keep him with them for the last few weeks of the school year and until this day, Gray knows that Natsu is really thankful for them being part of his life.

• Much like the other two, Gray didn't really think of having someone else to love, even if his father liked to joke about them to find more people: "So we could play soccer in the backyard! Come on brat, you need to find at least 6 other people!"

• When Lucy joined the picture, his parents were thrilled and welcomed her as a part of their family easily.

• Gray remembers the first time she officially met them, a few months after they got together. It was snowing and they were at the door of Gray's parents when she stopped Erza from knocking on it.

"I don't think this is a good idea. They are going to hate me. They always knew the three of you together, and now here I am, breaking that perfect picture. This is a terrible idea. A really bad one. Worse than that one time when Natsu convinced us to go swimming naked in a nearly frozen lake. I don't..."

Gray didn't let her finish her monologue and only kissed her on her lips, while his hands cupped her cheeks gently. He didn't say anything when they parted away, their eyes only locked in one another. He was silently saying, "It's okay. There's no need for you to be afraid. You are a part of us too now."

*

And a Big Big Big thank you to my little fairy 🧚 @watcher-ofthe-sky for taking the time to beta this for me and also for giving me some advice ! You're a real sweetheart!

[co-mixed]

TROS: Where would Rey-Kylo relationship be in a year? Pt.1

Possible super minor spoilers for TROS

When we’ve heard about the time jump in TROS, the main question we asked was not the “where a certain character ends up”, but “what would follow TLJ immediately, and where would it lead in said year”. And the answer, well… let’s take a look, because we’ve held on to these ideas for two years, and it’s as good time as any to bring it up.

Let’s take Rey, as she was last seen in TLJ.

First and foremost, we know that she’s developed a crush. Now may not be obvious to everyone, but it’s also like putting 2 and 2 together.

We could go back, and review the first encounter, the interrogation, or even the fight. All of them do drop hints, but then there’s one particular TLJ exchange:

“— You’re a monster.

— Yes I am.”

And it brilliantly displays the origins of her crush. Because she stops to think, and that means her defensive reaction to shoot or fight him on sight takes a break. And mind you, she is still very much 19, in SW it’s like our 16, which is the best age for first crushes. There is a physical reaction to this, which is touched upon later for those who didn’t take the first hint (yes, it’s exactly what you think it is). There’s a cognitive reaction too, it just arrives a little later. It was really well described by Rian Johnson, when he said that he intentionally used the most uncomfortable situations. It works, because the resulting chemistry is undeniable.

Yet the last time we see her is not when she’s closing the Falcon door on him, that’s just Rey being upset and hurt, but it’s when she is on the Falcon, probably playing the whole thing over in her head. So we know they aren’t done, even if we don’t take the Force Bond into account. Next few natural steps for Rey would be to soak in those thoughts. She’s spent most of her life alone, on Jakku, and she is probably used to thinking rather than talking. Until the next Force Bond that is.

Now to Kylo/Ben.

This one is a bit more difficult, because for that we have to go all the way back to TFA. Let’s start with the fact that he has not heard that much about her. If we don’t take the novelization into account (let’s base it solely on the movie here), it appears that his initial reaction is fear. He feels threatened by someone with equal potential. And during their first encounter (we usually call it the first date), it’s safe to assume that his reaction is more physical. After that it progresses into the “let’s get to know each other” dimension. We probably can also attribute his interest in her to the dynamics that he’s picked up from Han and Leia. Not the best one, but that’s the only proper relationship model he’s seen. Rey also attacks him right away, and shows zero interest. It plays out a bit like middle school, but since both characters are fairly inexperienced, it does work. When she calls the the saber, that’s when she’s got him. No kidding, because it was either written in there, or just portrayed well enough, but it shows.

TLJ takes his interest further, to the point of belonging. And there is a reason we use this particular word for him, not her. He knows plenty about the Force, so from a mystical point of view “Why is the Force connecting us?” would be more than enough, but also Johnson is not that simple kinda writer (ok maybe some shade here). Ben feels it first, and while Rey is acting in search of that feeling, and  because of her teenage crush, he is already sold on the idea of ruling the galaxy together. It’s his attachment to her as much as the fact that she talked to him, and was willing to understand him, and maybe accept him. Yeah pretty harsh.

Then Crait, and it’s not really about the two of them. It’s like a fight when you say things you don’t mean, it’s also very human. And what follows is them both being deeply hurt.

Again, ‘till the next Force Bond.

The only line in the middle of it all, that we get is “She really cared about him, and he disappointed her”. But it wasn’t him who disappointed her really, because seems like she was disappointed because he didn’t offer her exactly what she wanted. Rey is not much around during “Resistance Reborn”, or the road to TROS. And we really don’t know what’s going on with her, just that she has some issues with the Force. But the thing that we can’t ignore here is that If she has problems, so is he. If that happens, maybe one or both of them are subconsciously trying to severe the bond, and it can only be Rey. This is what buys you some time, but not really a year. As soon as she focuses and attunes to the Force, the Bond will be back (because come on, it’s the Force). This will take a month at best and there is another factor to count in. She has a few triggers:

— The books, because they represent the Force, the very thing that connects her and him.

— The saber, because not only the two of them broke it in half, but this is the very saber that he used to kill Snoke and save her.

— Leia, because that mighty Skywalker blood. The more time she spends with Leia, the better they get to know each other, the more chances there are that they will discuss Ben. And Rey is a girl, and what are we best at? Correct, thinking. So she would remember and analyze, do it over and over again and eventually, she will start missing him, and mentally write down all the unanswered questions that she has for him.

So the first Force Bond they get, they will have questions for each other.

His would be exactly the same line we hear in TROS “I offered you my hand, why didn’t you take it?”

Hers would be “Why didn’t you stop firing on the fleet?” But that wouldn’t stop there, she would go on ranting, because she will get emotional. “Your mother was on one of those ships”, and that would strike a chord.

And we know that the only possible reaction here is Ben choking a bit, and his thought would be exactly the same as in TROS, he can’t go back to her. He knows it, but in this case he is not ready to say it out loud. He would need time to think, and the bond would probably fade for now. What do they do?

She made him think, she would understand it, and she would find ways to manipulate. This is kind of a power shift, and as strange as it feels, it makes sense.

As for Ben, that would eat him away. All while Kylo Ren is supposed to carry out his responsibilities, that amongst adding a cool title to his name, include both military duties, and politics (in the sense of dictatorship). Do we think Kylo is a great politician? No we don’t, it’s been said again and again, that his reactions are mostly physical. So he would need someone to deal with the boring parts, let’s assume he has someone who’s scared of him enough.

Then there is Hux, who not in a million years will go from praising the First Order to hating Kylo. No, we see it clearly at the end of TLJ, that he still wants to seize the leadership, and correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t he concoct a plan? Add to that the fact, that he knows the structure of the fleet, the supply management, intelligence etc. He’s been around it all, and basically does for the First Order what Leia does for the Resistance. Kylo’s been in it for how long? Considering that he’d spent his days as Snoke’s apprentice or running around with the Knights of Ren, he’s not exactly a pro. And yes, his mother is a leader and a politician, but he was training as a Jedi. Not the same thing whatsoever.

So what do we have: Kylo is distracted enough, so that Hux has a little space to pretend to be loyal. And don’t forget for a second that Hux knows about “the Girl”, who allegedly murdered Snoke. He would watch Ben closely.

Let’s also mention our favorite band the Knights of Ren. We didn’t get to learn much about them, except for the comic book, but let’s assume that we do know some things. They follow a certain concept, they do Kylo’s bidding,  and you can call the ghouls, because it seems like they praise chaos for the sake of… well… chaos. They can’t be stronger than Ben, and there is no point in them feeling him being pulled to the Light, besides that’s something he struggles with either way. Explaining why they weren’t around for TLJ is a bit tricky, but what if they were searching for Jedi/Sith artifacts? We do know from the animated show, that Kylo dispatches a lot of mission to retrieve items. Now that’s perfect for them.

Got a little sidetracked here, trying to explain how Ben’s surroundings work and affect his daily routine.

Rey is endangering any mission she’s on, because “The Girl murdered Snoke”, and the girl needs her training too. The books, after all. And she would spend more time alone, because at this point she’d have this big secret, that she can’t share with anyone but perhaps Leia. And Rey can avoid this for as long as she can, but Leia, again, is a politician. She probably reads faces well enough to read between the lines. So they both know what’s going on (like how Rey even managed to get in the same room with Ben for him to ask her to join him (Resistance Reborn). Also, and this is pretty important, Leia knows that Kylo Ren is the Supreme Leader, she knows that Ben is the only one who likely did this, which brings us to the point that she definitely knows that this is when and why Ben offered Rey his hand. So yeah Leia knows pretty much the whole thing. But we leave it at that, because Leia won’t push, and Rey won’t cave asap.

Now back to Reylo.

The next Force Bond catches them both alone, and as this happens between them, they do move on from the previous chat. We know well that Ben’s trigger is Leia, so he is already on the right track.

If we imagine that she has some of her textbooks in her hands (since the Bond itself is progressing), and he would notice them, that could spark a conversation. She is trying to learn something new, fix the lightsaber, etc. Then it’s fair to assume, that they will have a few of those educational chats along the way (this idea is even more compelling because of “you need a teacher” thing), but guess what… the tension doesn’t go away, so eventually it does take over. We can argue war or opposing sides, but we’ve already established a conflict within the First Order. In other words, if Hux is smart enough, pretty soon Kylo would be out of a job. Besides, combined effect of Leia, Rey and Ben himself is definitely enough to land him in the middle. Not on the Light side, but right in the middle. Also logical to assume that Rey, driven by attachments, is right there with him. Now we can go ahead and skip forward, but the situation will resolve itself within a few months. It won’t even take a year.

Come to think of it, the Force connects them at least 5 times a week. That’s around 260 times a year, or a lot. We don’t have to follow this exact math, the Bond is allowed to be random, and it progresses to a point where they could if not teleport, at least be in the same space, wherever that is. This means that very likely, within a year they would be a thing, they would have talked everything over, and probably come to an understanding regarding Resistance/First Order thing. But it’s the middle of it all, where you insert a political conflict. We’ll get to this later, because let’s face it, this post is already way too long.

[jamiebongwater]

The Front

I am a working-class punk. I have been working as a cook for the last four years, trying to build skills that will enable me to move anywhere in the world and ply my trade while funding my other endeavors.

When I was a kid I was almost pressured into becoming a scientist; at the very least, with my high test scores it was assumed that I would readily enter the information economy as a high achiever. When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, I would always think about where my talents might have the most impact. I had immense compassion and love for the human race, and I thought that using my analytical abilities in the field of chemistry or physics to solve the problems of humanity would be my calling. Then I got to high school and started reading Chomsky, Taibbi, Eric Schlosser, Freakonomics, books by the Crimethinc. Collective, and the list goes on. When learning about the world I would try to answer questions that had been troubling me privately about apparent contradictions in society. Why do people fall victim to drug abuse despite being informed of the dangers? Why is poverty still rampant in the wealthiest society in human history? Why do people spend their whole lives doing things that they hate and that they know are doing no good for the world? Why do some people hate sexual minorities even though they obviously pose no danger? I learned that all these questions have very reasonable academic answers, and that the reason these answers are not widely known is that their concealment perpetuates a cyclical game of human dominance. I didn’t want to believe it was possible that the most esteemed people in our society would betray the public service for a motive as vulgar as money or power, but I slowly came to understand that almost all human behavior can be understood as power struggle and that the people who are currently dominant always have an incentive to deceive, to misinform, and to manipulate to maintain their dominance.

“The Nixon campaign in 1968, and the Nixon White House after that, had two enemies the anti-war left and black people. You understand what I’m saying? We knew we couldn’t make it illegal to be either against the war or black – but getting the public to associate hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin, and then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities, we could arrest their leaders, raid their homes, break up their meetings and vilify them night after night on the evening news. Did we know we were lying about drugs? Of course we did.” - John Erlichman, Assistant to the President for Domestic Affairs under Nixon

Drugs are not bad, consciousness alteration is a natural impulse. It is the responsibility of the culture to educate people about drugs and to guide people into safe, productive lives. The reason that we have failed is that the culture was hijacked by big business in order to wage a war for social control that has killed millions of Americans. Rather than setting and achieving meaningful public health goals, the Federal Government concerned itself with heavy-handed enforcement of prohibition laws in order to jail political opponents. Now our entire society buys into a false narrative. Poverty still exists in the U.S. because setting a living wage, nationalizing healthcare, or subsidizing housing would necessarily impact the profits of major political donors. Social responsibility requires everybody to contribute proportionally. If you’re somebody who is bribing politicians, you don’t care about anything but money. You will pay as little as possible, and if that means convincing voters that socialism is impossible or that nationalized healthcare is the devil, then that’s a worthwhile investment. People waste their lives because the work that is being given to us is garbage; the owning class, the people who determine what work is to be done, don’t care about the planet, or about creativity, or about egalitarianism... they care about their bottom line, which means turning your life into a computer program. People get angry about sexual minorities because they are being pitted against each other; if you get people riled up about the culture war and convince them that they are being threatened by things they don’t understand, they will be too distracted to notice that their lives are being turned into a computer program.

I had always been angry that the people around me seemed so uncurious and complacent in the face of a material existence that was strikingly banal; their empty lives were cause for outrage, we should all be unified in struggle and we should know the cause and goal of our struggle. Instead what I heard was, “Sell out. Find something to do where somebody will pay you a lot of money and you can have an easy life.” This statement is the end of life on Earth. I refused to be a part of this horror, this extinction of all that is good. We are a post-scarcity civilization; we can pull more than enough shit out of the ground to feed and clothe everybody. It’s time that, as a society, we seriously asked ourselves “What now?” The problems facing us are not scientific, we know what things we have to do as a species and we’re not doing those things because of petty dominance and political games. The challenge of our times is getting humanity on the same page.

I knew that the purpose and direction of my work would be more important than what I went to school for. We don’t need to create more mechanization for the ruling class to use against us, we need to fight back. We don’t need to fill more mindless jobs, we need to rethink what our jobs are, who fills them, and how they pay. We need to determine who we are as a species and defend our dignity. We need to recapture life for the 21st Century. We need to decide how to spend our time on Earth; we need to have the freedom to develop new culture that will keep us safe and loved in a changing and uncertain world. We need to use our political will, as a class, to demand our governments set meaningful standards of social responsibility so that our civilization can be sustainable. These aren’t goals we can accomplish through corporate jobs. These are things you have to do yourself. It’s hard work and it’s challenging because there’s no map; no generation has had to do this before. It’s almost impossible to know what line of work to get into, what to go to school for, or even what city to live in when your only goal is fixing a world that is completely fucked. But I know I’m not living my life to make money for people who only want to keep my brothers and sisters down. I’m living to move humanity forward. The next frontier is cultural; standing at the frontlines of human history is more rewarding than any check you will ever cash.