#I once beat CV in one though lol

[kelbunny]

Beat Unwound Future (and all mainstory puzzles, just need to do the car and bird minigame) and... ahgh my heart 💔. That twas as emotional as I was lead to believe.

Anyways, screenshots and comments below cut

Top half of the screen looks cool and... calm down buddy. There are better ways of dealing with this.

Yeah, they don't care and I don't care. I've seen villains worse than you be redeemed. Now come on man.

You however, I will punt into the drywall. Like seriously, not even a slap on the wrist smh. Don't talk about him like that when you're the one responsible for his grief.

I hope Clive shows up again haha. He was cool.

[louhooo]

The Patient

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: It’s cold and flu season, y’all 

Word Count: 2774

Warnings: Swearing, FLUFF, nurse Bucky

Prompt: “Is that my shirt?” // “It’s the only one that will warm my cold soul.”

A/N: This is part of the “Rainy Day” universe. This is for @littledarlinhavefaithinme All Things Fall Writing Challenge!!! I’ve changed my idea for this about twenty times lol and this may or may not be based on the fact that I turn into such a baby when I have a cold. I’m v dramatic and a patient Bucky to nurse me back to health (but mainly put up with my complaining) is exactly what I would want/need.

It started out as a sniffle.

Tony was in the middle of explaining all of the modifications he’d added to the quinjet– S.H.I.E.L.D doesn’t know anything yet– and Bucky had lost interest after a few minutes of Tony’s impassioned rambling. Especially once he heard you from across the room.

You sat next to Natasha, your hands tucked into the pockets on your Avenger’s issued sweatshirt, and your legs kicked up onto the empty chair on your other side. Tony was describing a new feature for the weapons on the jet, but you were more focused on the grey hair poking through on his goatee. You leaned over to Nat.

“Do you think he colors his beard?” You whispered. She leaned back.

“I know he does. I caught Pepper buying a box of black “Just For Men” as CVS one time. She was very quick at hiding the box from me.” You chuckled and settled back into your seat.

“Something you wanna share with the class, ladies?” Tony raised a brow, waiting impatiently for you and Nat to stop talking during his demonstration. You smiled–too innocently for Tony’s standards– and shook your head.

“Nope. You’re doin’ a great job, boss.” Tony sighed and rolled his eyes and picked up where he left off before he was so rudely interrupted. You felt eyes on you and almost immediately found Bucky’s from across the room. You grinned at him, his own grin mirroring yours.

You and Bucky had gone to the carnival in the town near the compound on Halloween night, but as soon as you both sat down to share a caramel apple that’d you’d been craving for weeks, you were called out on a short recon to Canada for the last few days with Nat, and only just got back an hour ago, just as Tony’s spiel presentation started. 

You missed your boyfriend. And the caramel you never got to enjoy.

As soon as Tony finished, you walked over to the other side of the room and tugged Bucky up. 

“Nice to see ya, too, Y/N!” Sam bellowed as you headed down the hall. Bucky chuckled and wrapped his fingers with yours as you dragged him out of the room.

“What’s the rush, sugar? You didn’t even give Sam a comeback.” You grinned and pulled him into the elevator with you, hitting the button to your floor. You buried your face into his chest as soon as the doors shut, inhaling his musk.

“I missed you,” you spoke, your voice muffled by his shirt. Bucky grinned and let your hand go so that he could hold you closer.

“I missed you, too.” The Bucky that woke up in Wakanda never pictured having anyone this important in his life, not like this anyways. He always had Steve, and even though Sam annoyed Bucky in ways he never imagined, he’d grown to like him (even if it took him a while). But being… open and vulnerable with a girl? He had already signed that part of his life off. 

Luckily for him, you were too stubborn and never stopped convincing him that he deserved that.

Deserved love.

Deserved you.

You sniffled again and stared at your blue-eyed man with a love drunk grin, but instead of your usual forehead kiss, his brows pinched together as his eyes roamed your face.

“You feelin’ okay?” You nodded slowly.

“Yeah…? Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, you keep sniffling. And your heart is beating differently; faster.”

“And I’m also staring at a super hot guy right now….” Bucky’s concern dropped for the moment so he could give you a deadpanned stare. You giggled and stepped back as the elevator dinged for your floor. You took his hand again and walked towards your apartment.

“I’m serious, Y/N.”

“I am, too, Buck. I mean, have you ever seen yourself? Somebody call the fire department, ‘cause you’re smokin’!” You laughed at your joke as F.R.I.D.A.Y. scanned your thumb to open the door. You stepped in and kicked off your shoes, leaving Bucky so you could search for something to eat. He shut the door and turned on your living room light as he followed you into the kitchen. “Do you have food at your place? Nothin’ looks good in my fridge. Oh! Hey! Did you keep that caramel apple?!”

“No, I think Clint ate it.” Your shoulders dropped. “I think you caught somethin’ when you were gone. You need to go to Med Bay and get cleared.” You rolled your eyes and shut the fridge with your hip.

“Bucky, don’t you think you’re being a bit dramatic? Nat and I didn’t even do that much. It was just recon. And I’m literally just there for tech; I don’t even getta do anything that exciting.”

He sighed. He would discuss your importance for the team later. “Doesn’t mean you couldn’t have come into contact with somethin’! Could be some airborne pathogen! What if it’s poisonous?” You sighed and gave your overly anxious boyfriend a tender grin.

“Baby… I promise you, I feel fine. There’s nothing to worry about.”

By that night, you had lost the ability to breathe through your nose. When you woke up the next morning, your head was throbbing and you had a puddle of drool on your pillow from your mouth being open all night.

Bucky politely waited an hour before casually mentioning that he did tell you to get checked out. You glared at him and threw an empty box of tissues at his head. You didn’t miss.

“Here’s some soup.” You were propped up in bed, bundled under blankets with twenty used tissues scattered on top. Bucky set the tray on your lap and waited until you were fully settled before letting it sit on your lap completely. He glanced at you and brushed the hair out of your face. “How’re ya feelin’? Has the medicine kicked in yet?”

“No,” you grumbled, glaring up at Bucky. He’d take your glare seriously if he didn’t find it so cute. 

“Maybe you should take a lil’ more.”

“If you make me drink any more of that crap, I’ll scream.” 

“That ‘crap’ is what’s going to make you feel better.”

“Bull.” He huffed a laugh as he sat on the bed, throwing all the tissues into the garbage can. “You’re mocking me.” He raised a brow at you. “You can’t get sick, so you’re just rubbin’ it my face that you can touch my germs and be fine!” He chuckled and set the now full trash down on the floor beside the bed.

“Eat your soup. I’ll go get you some more water.” You grumbled and slowly took a spoonful of the hot broth and brought it to your lips. Bucky watched you take another bite before grabbing your empty water bottle and going to the kitchen. He unscrewed the lid and held it under the fridge dispenser until it filled with cold water. He put the lid back on, and grabbed an extra package of tissues, just in case. When he got back to the bedroom, you looked up at him with a woeful gaze.

“Can you sit with me? I don’t wanna be alone.” Bucky smirked warmly and set your bottle down on the nightstand and squeezed onto the bed beside you so he was propped against the pillows. You sat up and adjusted the pillows more, and pulled on the arm of his sweatshirt until he scooted closer to you.

He laid his arm behind you and chuckled. “What else do you want me to do, baby?” You sighed and leaned your head back so you were leaning against his chest.

“Don’t be mad at me, but I don’t wanna eat right now.”

“You needta eat, sweetheart.”

“I know…” you whined, “but I’m not hungry right now. I’m still full from lunch.” You groaned and reached for a tissue from the box in Bucky’s hand and held it up under your nose. “I’m dying. I never wanna go to a Halloween festival ever again.” Bucky breathed through his nose and moved the tray of food from your lap, to the end table to avoid hot liquid being spilled all over you and the bed.

“I don’t think you mean that, and I don’t think you’re dying–”

“I am. And, I do.” Stubborn. And dramatic. Just how Bucky liked you. You balled up the tissue and leaned over him to drop it into the garbage. You missed and groaned again. “I’ll pick it up later.” You tucked yourself back into his side until you were comfortable.

“Only if you’re not dead first, right?” You narrowed your eyes up at him, a cheeky grin on his face.

“You’re not cute.��� A loud laugh came out of Bucky that normally would have made you happy, if your head wasn’t throbbing.

“Didn’t realize I got so ugly in just a day….” Your eyes stayed narrowed and Bucky chuckled. “C’mon. I’ll play with your hair if you lay down.” You hummed, assessing him and his proposition.

“… okay. I’ll allow it.” Bucky rolled his eyes good naturedly and you settled back into his side, your arm hooking over his abdomen. His metal digits scratched your scalp how you liked it, and he felt your breathing start to shift, growing slower and slower as you drifted to sleep.

Well… almost to sleep.

You sat up and moved your head as a harsh cough raked you. Bucky grimaced and sat up, too, his urge to protect gnawing at him to do something to make you feel better. You took a few gulps of water and your coughing subsided. You sighed and kicked your feet out from under the covers and stumbled out of bed.

“Where’re you–”

“I gotta pee.” You shuffled into the bathroom and shut the door. You glanced in the mirror and cringed. Your nose was red and crusty, your lips were chapped, and you looked like you could use a hot shower after a day of being in sick and in bed. You opened the door again, and Bucky was standing right there and jumped. “Jesus! What are you doing?”

“I was gonna help you back to bed.” You grinned and shifted your weight to lean against the door frame.

“I’m okay, Buck. I am gonna shower, though, so you can relax.”

“Do you need help?” you raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Bucky shook his head. “Not like that. You could take a bath, and I’ll help you.”

“I’m okay, babe. I can handle a shower.” Now, Bucky looked at you disbelievingly.

“You sure?” You nodded and he studied you before sighing, and accepting your reassurance. You shut the door and Bucky stayed there until he heard the shower door open and the water start. He glanced around the room and decided he could clean up. He took the cold soup and tray and set them in the kitchen, transferring the soup into a storage container for later when you were “hangry”, as you called it. 

He emptied the garbage from the bedroom into the bigger kitchen garbage can, tying it up and taking it out to the special incinerator Stark put in living quarters of the compound. Steve was walking down the hallway when Bucky stepped out.

“Hey, Buck. How’s Y/N doin’?” Steve followed Bucky as they walked down the hall.

“She’s takin’ a shower, now, so I think she’s feeling a little bit better. That, or the cold medicine is kicking in finally.” Bucky would wait until you were back to your normal self before teasing you about how theatrical you were being with anyone. Steve chuckled.

“That’s good. Nat and I went over their recon today. You, me, and Nat are headin’ to Canada in a few days. She gonna be okay by then?” Bucky slowly opened the door to the incinerator and lowered the garbage into it. He knew you’d be okay by then, and you’d tell him to “go and save the world from the bad guys,” but the idea of leaving made him anxious. Steve could sense the hesitation.

“I can see if Sam can go, too, if you don’t think she’ll be okay by then?”

“It’s just…” Bucky scratched the back of his neck trying to come up with a valid excuse. He’d already used all of his best ones. Steve gave Bucky an understanding grin. Since Bucky had bought that ring, he hated any time either he or Y/N had to leave for a mission. It wasn’t a coincidence that Bucky’s missions had been cut lately.

“I get it, Buck. I’ll ask Sam.” Bucky grinned at his oldest friend and Steve smacked his shoulder. “But, can you ask, already? I don’t know how much longer I’m gonna be able to keep it a secret. I’m pretty sure Nat already figured it out.” Bucky rolled his eyes and sighed.

“It’s kinda concerning how bad at lying you are, Steve. You threaten our national security almost daily.”

“Shut up, or I’ll ‘slip up’ in front of your girl.” Bucky rolled his eyes again and started to walk back to your apartment.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see ya later, Stevie.” Bucky patted his friend’s shoulder and Steve murmured back his own goodbye.

Bucky got back into the apartment and noticed the shower wasn’t running anymore. He walked back to your bedroom and found you sitting in bed, your hair still wet, tucked under the covers, and in a familiar long sleeved flannel he hadn’t seen for a while now. You were scrolling through your phone, enjoying the short lived moment of being able to breathe through your nose.

“Is that my shirt?” You glanced up at Bucky and back down at what you were wearing.

“I’m still dying, and it’s the only one that will warm my cold soul.” Bucky raised a brow.

“I don’t think that’s how it works, doll.”

“Shh, I’m sick and I think the cold medicine kicked in in the shower, so I’m also slightly high.” Bucky chuckled and moved to get in bed beside you. Your phone wasn’t interesting anymore and you curled into his side. “Where’d you go?”

“Took the garbage out, and Steve was in the hall.”

“I just checked my email and Nat said they went through the footage this morning. She said you two and Steve were gonna go to Canada in a few days.” 

“Change of plans. Steve said Sam was goin’ instead.” You looked up at him, a crease drawn between your eyebrows.

“Oh…. Why, did something happen?” Bucky grinned and smoothed out your concern with his thumb.

“Nothin’ happened. They just needed Sam, instead. ‘Sides, if I left, who’d be able to take care of you and your cold soul?” You grinned and rolled your eyes. You laid your head back down, leaving a wet spot on Bucky’s chest from your hair, but he didn’t care.

“You’re the only one I wanna annoy when I’m sick.” He smirked and rubbed his hand up and down your bicep.

“You don’t annoy me, doll.” You sniffled.

“You’re sweet for lyin’ to me, Buck.” You rubbed your hand over his stomach, feeling the muscles contract under your touch.

“I’m not lyin’. You’d be able to tell if I was annoyed with you.” You hummed.

“I guess that’s true. You always give Sam a death glare whenever he starts singing to you.”

“Well, he’s not good.” You giggled a raspy laugh.

“You just don’t like what he sings.”

“It’s not appropriate. And, I know you’re gonna call me ‘old’, but music from my day wasn’t so vulgar. It was real music.” You grinned and rolled your eyes.

“You like it when I play it, though…?” Bucky was quiet for a long time. When you looked back up at him, you could tell he was trying to come up with a retort. “Uh-huh. That’s what I thought.” Bucky glared playfully and held your head back down as you giggled and settled back on his chest.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” You laughed as Bucky bit back his grin. He’d planned on asking you on Halloween while you were at the carnival, but then you got called on the mission, and his plans were foiled. He made sure to complain to Steve about stealing you away the whole time you were gone. He knew he could go to his apartment and take the ring out of his combat boots and ask you right now, snotty nose and all. 

But, this moment was good how it was.

The ring could wait for another time when Bucky wasn’t cuddled up with his girl.

[currywaifu]

my spotify is messy~

Tag Game: Song Title URL

Rules: List song titles that start with the letters of your URL.

Thank you for tagging me @fieryanmitsu​ !! This was pretty challenging imo, but it was fun diving into a bunch of songs I listen to! Instead of CVs I ended up going with why I chose the song lol.

“CURRY WAIFU”

C - “Chained Up” by VIXX Starting with the group that got me into K-Pop honestly tbh

U - “UNMASK” by Guy & Tsumugi (A3!) This has been my favorite A3! song for a while now

R - “R U Mine?” by Arctic Monkeys My first online friend introduced AM to me and I’ve never been the same since

R - “Revenge Party” by the Original Broadway Cast of Mean Girls I just like Mean Girls, and I was surprised by how I liked the Broadway ver

Y - “Yokohama Walker” by MAD TRIGGER CREW (Hypnosis Mic) Got into HypMic this year, and MTC is my favorite. Just such a chill beat tbh

W - “When the Day Met the Night” by Panic! At The Disco Just always enjoyed their songs in general

A - “A Rumor in St. Petersburg” by the Original Broadway Cast of Anastasia Anastasia was one of my faves, so it’s a given I fall in love with the musical

I - “Imagination” by SPYAIR (Haikyuu!! OP 1) Haikyuu has been my favorite anime/manga since 2014, I’m addicted oops

F - “Fighting Gold” by Coda (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind) Aside from me loving JJBA, a lot of my classmates did too so this song was ALWAYS being played in class, sometimes in keyboard or kazoo(s)

U - “Usotsuki wa Mahou no Hajimari” by Chikage & Sakuya (A3!) I’m an A3! blog so we’re ending with an A3! song, and I’d be lying if I said don’t listen to this song at least once a day

TAGS! Don’t feel pressured to do this or anything though~

@dorkageyama @sleepy-ruri hewwo i think ur names would be fun for this

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: pick me up Joe: rude you clearly did without me Joe: but I'll be able to do a twofer, yeah 👌 Joe: send your distress signal so I know where to point Ronnie: [wherever she's been working for a hot sec, I dread to think lol] Joe: you making a complaint about their cold-calls in person? Joe: tick off initiative on your CV Ronnie: my sides have split & it aint fuck all to the piss poor stitching Joe: see how far we can stretch your guts either side of you, fun Joe: did you self-sew or see one of your gun-wielding pals? different principle tats and triage Ronnie: then you can play a round of guess how much of this blood is mine, get yourself proper going Joe: too kind, stop me from charging the going rate for a while yet 🚖 Joe: what office supply did you use though Joe: if you were too cliche, you are going to have to sit up front and talk to me, proper cabbie punishment Ronnie: everything got nicked day 1 baby they werent about to waste any staples keeping shit on desks Ronnie: phone & a script is your lot Joe: there any drug we can act like anyone's calling it oscar on the street? Joe: you fully Joe Pesci'd someone with the phone, yeah? 👏 Ronnie: any gear that should go straight in the bin Ronnie: call it oscar Joe: you are wasted on 0 hour contracts, my dear Ronnie: not wasted enough for em Joe: join me at your local overpriced shit coffee dealer Joe: our bathrooms couldn't pass a piss test but they all only want the ⬆pers Joe: 💔 Ronnie: ill have an escort if you dont get a fucking move on Ronnie: you got enough student spends to feed coffee & doughnuts to the full force yeah Joe: say lucky you but security guards got as many hairs on their head as they got IQ points Joe: lot down Soho are decent conversationalists, unlike Daz and Gaz Joe: I did just get this terms though so hold on and you can help me 🔥 through it Ronnie: i dont get turned on by einstein & his pals mckenna thats your wank fuel Ronnie: easiest way to get a cunt off my back is to put him on his Joe: he only banged his cousin, that's nothing to waste energy on Ronnie: 💔 none of your cousins look enough like your mam for you Joe: why do you think i was searching Joe: daring to dream Ronnie: give a fuck about your nancy drew fantasies Ronnie: that schoolgirl shit is tapped Joe: the catholic schoolgirl uniforms have been overstated Joe: not all that in person, be the review Joe: nuns though, yeah Joe: enough mild peril to manage Ronnie: charlie will be gutted youve switched from homos to dykes Joe: you're the only one who's guts I wanna play around Joe: I'll break it to him nicely Joe: doughnuts, yeah Ronnie: consolation hole Ronnie: youve had shitter ideas Joe: it was yours, in fairness Joe: dunno about offering up my hole to every bloke at the met but if I put my foot down shouldn't be an issue Ronnie: i dont reckon a consolation footjob is gonna cut it Ronnie: not my first offence Joe: giving away how highly you think of my 🍑 Joe: what happened then, beyond telemarketing being worse than shitting out razorblades Ronnie: you wish you had 1 whitey Joe: says you Ronnie: if i had any curves theyd be cut off by now Joe: junkie chic before the habit Joe: some girls have all the luck Ronnie: lucky i need your bullshit heroics for this or id send you on a fools errand to sleuth the pieces out of landfill Joe: white knight > jester Joe: not my usual style, but for you I'll make an exception Ronnie: unless youre gonna say your horse fucking girlfriend dressed you the other night ive already seen it like Joe: you think her thing is budget kurt cobain? Joe: or that she's blind Ronnie: be blind by now if you catholics arent full of shit about touching yourself too much Ronnie: homesick for the horse & rejected by you Joe: what do you think its called Joe: my bets are on some boy band member she fancied when she was 11 and daddy was gutted Ronnie: or the 1st lad she wanted to meet round the back of the bike sheds Joe: you're such a romantic Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: im thinking like a basic white bitch from kent or wherever the fuck you said Joe: you do it well Joe: no way her school had anything common like bikesheds though so knocking a point off Joe: getting fingered on the hellipad is more voyeuristic but has less of a charm about it Ronnie: write a song about it Ronnie: shes gonna be charmed by the namedrop Joe: return the favour Joe: she's making me help her with her coursework Ronnie: plaster cast of your cock and then what Ronnie: tell her you aint no hendrix & its been done Joe: charlie wishes, whitey Joe: I'll cc 'em both in about my disappointing dick Ronnie: ill pass on gaz & daz numbers Joe: god I hope the plaster ain't dried Ronnie: god aint listening to you nancy Joe: adds up Joe: that kind of dad, technically always keep an eye but going in one ear and out the other Joe: 💔 woe is me Ronnie: irish catholics aint got fuck all going on between the ears she werent in it for that Joe: fucked me up with her shit genetics then Joe: you manage to get a pen? Joe: shove it in my ear and dig it out Ronnie: pull it out of my neck & you can stick it where you like Joe: we'll let the blood piss out 'til it feels right Ronnie: im the romantic Ronnie: shut up Joe: alright, you need to be conscious to woo me Ronnie: couldve fooled me Joe: dead girls pale in comparison Joe: 💘 Ronnie: the boners you lot have got for open caskets over there i dont reckon youve ever seen a dead girl the proper colour Joe: just said you were #1 but you've got to be 1 and only, yeah? Ronnie: in your fever dreams mckenna Ronnie: i aint looking that much like your ma however much slap i put on Joe: you're prettier than her Ronnie: now you want me to drink bleach instead of having a bath in it Ronnie: make up your fucking mind like Joe: just knew that would wind you up Joe: gotta bring out some cliches Joe: you're perfect just the way you are, you know Ronnie: drop dead Joe: god willing Joe: he's being fucking slow about it, despite my best efforts Ronnie: ill give it my best shot if you keep on Joe: another one for the cv Ronnie: find it written in my blood shit & bile on this wall Ronnie: thats your girlfriends coursework aced for her Joe: beats the lecture I'm skipping out on by miles Ronnie: no shit none of em are dressed like nuns Joe: none of 'em hate me like you either Joe: so damn likeable, its a curse Ronnie: i dont wanna hear about all your teachers trying to pet you Ronnie: childhoods over golden boy Joe: and all without me getting molested once Joe: by any nuns or teachers anyway Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: why youre such an annoying cunt Joe: abuse really humbles you, does it Joe: builds character Ronnie: gives you something to properly cry about Joe: got nothing on the shit my brain can make up Joe: idle hands and all that Ronnie: yeah youre so special baby Joe: it's just being mental or not Joe: if you ain't, you can go through whatever fucked up shit and be alright still Joe: if you're mental nothing even needs to happen and you'll be worse off Joe: some of us ain't got a chance from conception Ronnie: tell me something i dont know Ronnie: poster child for not having a fucking chance & any mental problems they wanna attach Joe: you better pay for more ad space Joe: call it karma, or dodgy genetics Joe: but I make a great case for abortion Ronnie: like i said before not one that needs to be put to me Ronnie: had more of em than youve had misery boners Joe: won't make you tell me about 'em Joe: no way you'd be as descriptive as the furious pro-lifers who act like the baby is fit to crawl out when you kill it Ronnie: hot Ronnie: shouldve called 1 of em to pick me up instead Joe: condemnation and loathing is meant to be my thing Ronnie: sharings meant to be your thing too yeah? Joe: only when it's inadvisable Ronnie: only when you wanna Joe: if you got to play oldest you'd know that's sadly untrue Ronnie: stuck being the cliche middle kid between fitz & the other one Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: seeking attention and approval because you're overlooked and under-appreciated? Joe: it's why 3 is a good number, any more and you've got multiple middle kids Joe: maybe I don't wanna fuck my mum, just missing all 3 of my own so much 🙄 Ronnie: they wish anyone could overlook me Ronnie: & you deffo do wanna fuck her so thats shit on your thesis Joe: yeah, sounds just like them Joe: suits you Joe: like the basic white bitch thing Ronnie: go fuck your mam Ronnie: im too tired for this Joe: you won't have no early start tomorrow sound of Ronnie: didnt have an early start today Ronnie: thats what kicked off this bullshit Joe: fair enough Joe: who wants a cold call at 7am Ronnie: the cunt who runs the place will be getting 1 off me til he pays me Joe: lucky him Joe: might wanna stay in your debt longer, romantic that you are Joe: attention very flattering Ronnie: what im hearing is i should tell his missus some fucking fairytale about the attention he was giving me Ronnie: everyonell be made up with the lie Joe: could do Joe: like your flair Joe: or I could come in, tell him you're mental and that he didn't make adequate allowances for you but now you're too traumatized to come back so he should just pay and we won't have to sue Joe: might get damages on top Ronnie: who are you my fucking school age carer like Joe: i'm believable, and more palatable than you outwardly Joe: anyway i look older Ronnie: than what 12 Joe: you have a baby face Joe: i look like i've not slept in as many years Joe: which is pretty accurate, as it goes Ronnie: do i fuck Ronnie: i look like ive shaken a baby to death Joe: child on child crime Joe: shocking headlines there, like that scottish girl who was fucked then got out and was someone's gran like she didn't kill a toddler Ronnie: see how palatable you are when I kick your teeth in Joe: it's a curse Joe: if you wanna lift it and be my hero instead of it being this way 'round Joe: love you forever, like Ronnie: ill lift your wallet fuck the rest Joe: already offered you my money Joe: not even a challenge, soft touch Ronnie: like youve ever been challenged soft lad Joe: go on Ronnie: youre already going on loads Joe: bet you've never heard about the traffic in this city, have ya Ronnie: fuck it ill go lay in it Joe: 😍 Ronnie: save the pillow talk for when youre offering me somewhere else to sleep Ronnie: would let you fuck me for entry to horse girls en suite if theres a bath in it Joe: where's your bed gone Ronnie: its got a hysterical homo in it whos only gonna get himself in more of a fanny flap cause ive been sacked Ronnie: ill take the wreckage of a 4 car pile up or whatever Joe: gotcha Joe: how long 'fore he calms it Ronnie: how long are you offering to spend buying him drinks & cupping his balls Joe: i get it Joe: you wanna wifeswap Joe: not just her art assignment you're interested in Joe: but you can just take my bed, I'm always falling asleep on the sofa or up the table and she'll relish at more chance to watch me sleeping Ronnie: your room got a 🔒 Joe: yeah but you're alright, it's on the inside Joe: not going to get fritzl about it Ronnie: youd need more than that to keep me in Ronnie: which youd know if you were earning off dealing with my mental problems Joe: not giving you a challenge either, don't get hysterical yourself like Ronnie: you couldnt like Ronnie: bigger pussy than your basic white girlfriend Joe: oh god stop talking about it Joe: i'll be sick Ronnie: no stomach for any kind of challenge Joe: you crack on Joe: i'll stick to 🍩 Ronnie: not so needy for some clean piss that ill be licking her out for it Joe: you should write this song for me Ronnie: whats in it for me Ronnie: got all your spends on a promise as is Joe: the fame and full writing credits, obviously Ronnie: fuck off obviously Joe: that's how we know you're not really a middle kid Ronnie: more shit you can come at your ma with Joe: I'll save it for the next holiday Ronnie: 💘 Joe: what about your dad Ronnie: i dont reckon hes up for another go on her if youre there watching Joe: 💔 Joe: i meant do you know what happened to him Joe: you might have more interesting half brothers out there, what I'm thinking Ronnie: got no interest in little fucking kids Joe: so you do know Joe: did he come find you or what Ronnie: dont get jealous nance Ronnie: did it myself like Joe: he meet your expectations Ronnie: what kind of fucking soft shit is that Ronnie: get a grip mckenna he aint rich Joe: a no would suffice Joe: though it's adorable you really kicked it like Annie over it Joe: you could've said you had none, or you expected him to be dead or worse, a useless cunt Ronnie: why would i say fuck all to you about it Joe: too painful too private Joe: gotcha Ronnie: wank over your own parents when i aint waiting Joe: the fact you've not implied I'd prematurely cum in my pants Joe: you're so full of hope it's equal parts inspiring and worrying Ronnie: get out of my face before i kick yours in Ronnie: everyone who aint gone blind can see youre a virgin Joe: don't be jealous, sid Ronnie: you cant tell your older sister what to do baby Ronnie: that aint how this works Joe: it wasn't good ever Ronnie: course youre crying about that too Ronnie: fucking hell Joe: just trying to ease your jealousy Joe: anyway, you'll be pleased to know the lacklustre results were down to my lack of trying, not theirs Ronnie: 1 less dose of the clap & i might still be fertile now thats fucking worrying Ronnie: keep your status choir boy Joe: bit cliche far as fantasies go but alright Ronnie: you started it Ronnie: trying to make me feel special Joe: no need to try is there Ronnie: not now my gag reflex has been triggered Joe: like that ain't been decimated by now too Ronnie: youre learning Ronnie: your teachersll be made up Joe: hope for the molestation yet? Joe: nice Ronnie: ease your 💔 & limp dick Joe: calm down Joe: might get attached Ronnie: do your grades the world of good Joe: you wanna help me with my homework? Ronnie: youre that shit in the sack you still wont get an a after giving your teachers a going over Ronnie: unlucky like Joe: so you can help me Joe: what else you gonna do whilst you're hiding from charlie Ronnie: use your imagination Joe: no need Joe: you'll be sharing Ronnie: cant stop you kicking the door in Ronnie: its yours Joe: just the needle, not the bed, like Joe: you're fine Ronnie: yeah youll be between horse girls sheets Joe: don't reckon she's strong enough to carry me Ronnie: only has to strap a saddle on Joe: 😂 Ronnie: fuck knows what she would fill your nose bag with Joe: the surprise is the fun part Ronnie: dont come crying to me when its oscar Joe: if she was half as interesting as you're making out, might stand a chance of working Joe: as it goes, probably be granola Ronnie: stick her thatll make her more your type Joe: come on Joe: she don't look a thing like my mother Ronnie: fucks sake when shes under get a 🔪 Ronnie: do your best like Joe: i keep telling you i'm not one for trying Ronnie: trying not to cry is as far as it goes yeah Joe: even my kiddy medicine cuts that shit off Joe: ain't been able to since I was 12 Joe: not that there was much call for it, my perfect life with mummy dearest Ronnie: the other week before you met me then Ronnie: gutted i broke your streak Joe: you sure you ain't interested in little fucking kids Joe: rearrange that sentence and Freud is having a field day Ronnie: make the effort to get here before i start to rot Ronnie: not trying to make that cunts day or yours Joe: you'd have liked him Ronnie: he rich off peddling that bullshit to the masses Joe: yeah and he reckoned cocaine was the cure for heroin addiction so he really knew a good time Ronnie: sounds like my not boyfriend Joe: oh yeah? Joe: well his grandson was cooler Joe: he fucked kate moss when he was like 70 Ronnie: anyone written a song about that Joe: maybe pete did Joe: he was a painter though so he painted her with her kit off, obviously Joe: reckon it's free for us to give it a crack Ronnie: your girlfriend painted you yet or what Joe: she wants to Ronnie: no shit mckenna Ronnie: every cunt there nearly fucking went arse over tit in the puddle she was sat in at that gig Joe: so that's what that sticky feeling was Ronnie: her juices or charlies Joe: that's called mixed media Joe: potential bio-hazard for her profs though Ronnie: worst theyre gonna get off her is thrush Ronnie: never met a bitch so clean Joe: yeah Joe: boring Ronnie: i told you to kill her last time you started being a baby about it Joe: you can have homicidal, sis Joe: boring but harmless Ronnie: cocaines harmless after heroin you & freud are still pussy enough to call it a party Joe: why it's a cure Joe: get you from comatose to semi-functioning Ronnie: she could be a cure too Ronnie: cold turkey Joe: weren't searching for a cure Joe: am i coming in or are you coming out Joe: can't see you Ronnie: cause youre comatose Ronnie: gutted this ex boss aint a cokehead Joe: not far off Joe: he your not boyfriend or is that just what we're telling the wife Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: he couldnt fund your baby habit nevermind mine Joe: we going there first then Ronnie: yeah Joe: if we get your wages, we don't have to Joe: [come in boy] Ronnie: [a look like go on impress me by getting these wages boy] Joe: [when you can give it social worker chat 'cos what Tess does and the whole beeline of it all like you can be convincing enough that he's breaking some kind of equality law by sacking her without pay lol] Ronnie: [love that for you Joseph even if she won't let you know she's impressed and also lowkey triggered by that social worker energy] Joe: [honestly, lbr this man surely just wants you gone, won't take too much persuading] Ronnie: [literally and he's clearly in some way shady if he's 1. employed her and also 2. not called the police on her rn] Joe: [no leg to stand on sir, love this shakedown for you] Ronnie: [I bet they're all illegals and people being exploited] Joe: [its a mood, as in happens all the time esp. in cities, least you can hit him up again lads, long as he don't get y'all beaten up or something lol] Ronnie: [tbf if you do get beaten up that's a mood too] Joe: [yeah, when they find out you are not social and just taking their money lol] Ronnie: [love a scam] Joe: [the kind of nonsense have your mother rolling in her grave she's not in, love that we're starting that now] Ronnie: [I approve of the vibe, start as you mean to go on lads, all before you've made his poor flatmate wanna die lol] Joe: [poor gal did not ask for you as a flatmate let alone all this lol] Ronnie: [do you wanna skip to like when she's back and Ronnie's in his room or whatever because easy way to keep the convo going without needing it to be face to face] Joe: [works for me henny] Ronnie: [your turn to start boo] Joe: doubt she'll leave her room any time soon now Ronnie: 💔 Joe: yeah poor girl Joe: saying you got free reign, if you need anything Ronnie: i had it before Ronnie: not scared of her like Joe: nah Joe: what about charlie then Joe: or you just don't wanna upset him Ronnie: yeah terrified Ronnie: well sleuthed nancy Joe: that he'll get sick of you, maybe Ronnie: i fucking told you we aint the kind of family who get rid Joe: yeah Ronnie: dont project onto me Ronnie: we aint nothing alike Joe: i'm the one sick of them Joe: if anything Ronnie: yeah & he aint fuck all like you either Joe: I can see that Ronnie: youve seen him once dont flatter yourself Joe: and it's that obvious Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: what? Joe: i only need to know one half the equation to know we're not the same Joe: it's a compliment to him if fuck all else Ronnie: give it to him then Ronnie: hell lap it up Joe: i told you it's nice Joe: what you lot got Joe: but i'm not looking to get in on it if that's what you reckon Ronnie: take what you want pussy Joe: that's not your thing? Ronnie: what we cant both do it Joe: potentially Ronnie: dont remember you having any hesitation to share a needle Ronnie: grow a pair when youre not getting shot up Ronnie: maybe the dayll come when i dont have to spoon feed you the gear like a fucking kid Joe: i'd have to work out if i want anything but first Ronnie: yeah Joe: is it all you want Joe: the heroin Ronnie: mind your fucking business Joe: alright Joe: do you want to do my next tattoo or what Ronnie: i said take what you fucking want Joe: [come through with ink you've undoubtedly stole from your flatmate, also being more spacey/twitchy than normal like distract me gal] Ronnie: [love how old school & gross we're kicking this tattoo situation unlike when Ali does it] Joe: [which is absolutely the point, how your arms and legs don't fall off lol] Ronnie: [their other ones probably wouldn't have even healed yet cos lbr it's gonna be no time in between these interactions] Joe: [just loads of lowkey open wounds, like that isn't life anyway] Ronnie: [mhmm they'd be fucked already too cos they are so itchy when they are healing and y'all don't have chill] Joe: [all the reason for constant touch ups/ messing with so it casually never heals #mood] Ronnie: [I didn't think of that but I stan] Joe: [casual metaphor for your everything lads] Ronnie: [you know you can do anything to her tattoowise yourself Joseph she don't care] Joe: [probably doing some weird repitition moment you'd usually do on yourself which will be painful af excuse you] Ronnie: [she do love the pain you're fine] Joe: [good thing too, we're just here fucking each other up like this ain't gonna go anywhere else lolllllll] Ronnie: [way more #into it than I should be considering I don't  even like when people shout lol] Joe: [you babby, they are not, obviously we're getting and taking drugs even if she's too naive to know why they're in such a state, maybe they can make a dealer come to them when they're feeling fancy/have already had loads lol] Ronnie: [take a moment to appreciate how few clothes she is wearing rn and how much that means this poor gal can and would see like we've got track marks and self harm scars for days even before you start on the tattoos lol, you're gonna get clued in before she leaves hen] Joe: [honestly props for not running home screaming tbh babe] Ronnie: [especially when this dealer comes because he ain't Drew like he should be scary af] Joe: [lowkey makes you work for it even when you're paying 'cos hates junkies] Ronnie: [at least she can basically fuck him in full view for Joe's benefit because the vibe is already there haha] Joe: [i truly love thinking about what the hell you're telling the flatmate when she leaves, she's not that stupid, also must fancy you if she doesn't report you immediately lol] Ronnie: [she definitely does that's not just Ronnie's bpd jealousy shining through like did you tell her you were related after the gig or what even Joseph what's the narrative] Joe: [also, entirely unrelated, when you bleaching your hair 'cos it looks so much better lol, anyways, he's probably had to go with a troubled sister narrative 'cos she's the type to be sympathetic and it makes sense why he'd deal from her pov] Ronnie: [that's gonna make the obvious sexual tension awkward but yeah I vote they definitely do it while she's staying because same vibe as the tattoo sesh so] Joe: [ikr, when you're blatantly fucking this will be very confusing, you should deffo only be about 1st year lol] Ronnie: [are you gonna give him another different flatmate in year 2 or like none?] Joe: [maybe for year 2  on you can still have some like a house share moment but he's the one you never see and has nothing to do with you] Ronnie: [that works definitely cos like I was just thinking how could he afford somewhere on his own] Joe: [yeah, even if we're technically employed whilst in uni by the orchestra, it's not gonna be loads, and that's how London be even if you're not a student] Ronnie: [how long do we think she should stay for this time because obvs she's coming back again and again but] Joe: [hmm, like he isn't gonna tell her to go so it's on her for how long she can deal lol] Ronnie: [just cos I'm thinking she should leave because something happens/almost does and it freaks her out because she's meant to hate him and there's only so much you can play off as doing for shock value when you're blatantly into it] Joe: [that makes sense, clearly it ain't gonna take long for that to transpire] Ronnie: [yeah a few days is what I'm imagining, but like enough that she probably thinks nothing will happen because it hasn't so far, if that makes sense] Joe: [i'm with it] Ronnie: [how far do we wanna go is always the question] Ronnie: [okay idea time, hear me out hun, what if it's like an unexpectedly pure/cute moment by their standards that happens in the day to day because the obvious would be to have them go all in when they are fucked up but like think about it] Joe: [that's what I thought too though 'cos it's more impactful 'cos it isn't as if it's gonna start with a kiss when it does for real like it's all extra and them to cover that it's about anything but being fucked up, so that would shake you both] Ronnie: [so glad we're on the same page here, like I can't think of a good example of what I mean/think should happen but] Joe: [we know the vibe, doing something vaguely domestic before realizing what you're doing] Ronnie: [so she gotta run away and nobody is gonna know where she is or what she's doing for a bit soz Charlie & Bronson] Joe: [you wanna skip to that time period now, this hasn't been excessively long or anything[ Ronnie: [we totally can because we can always skip back/add it if we think of anything else we wanna do while she's there etc] Ronnie: [I've had a potential idea how to start this so neither of them technically has to bite the bullet and go first like if you give me a rough idea what kind of thing Charlie would say e.g where are you/are you dead bitch and I'll reply here like she's in the wrong convo lol] Joe: [that's a good idea boo, probably something like you can stop hiding now and an update about whatever the fuck he's up to in his life which you can make up you know the vibe lol] Ronnie: [I was just like realistically if they were both shook by what happened neither of them are gonna be like oh hey] Joe: [yeah like it'd take him a while even if he would 'cos not just gonna let this go that easy, so it's a solid way to do it] Ronnie: a real scouse ma's meant to shout down the street when its time to stop playing about Ronnie: lazy cunt Joe: I'm only half if I'm anything, and you probably won't give me that any rate Ronnie: 🖕 not talking to you Ronnie: got the wrong gaylord Joe: easy mistake Joe: you not got his number saved? Ronnie: if this was my phone yeah Joe: newly acquired then Ronnie: mine broke Joe: my condolences Joe: wall or pavement? Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter Joe: just making conversation whilst you're here Ronnie: if youve got something to say go ed Ronnie: but if youre gonna pussy out as per it got waterlogged Joe: you dying for the uni update like my ma is a top performance, cheers, like Joe: rice didn't work or you didn't fancy eating toilet water rice after Ronnie: loads in common me & her aint just a pretty face like Ronnie: dont know what kind of fucking 12 year old in a k hole at a festival you take me for mckenna Joe: yeah, it's a shame Joe: soph says save some for the 🐎s Ronnie: cold showers work better for misery boners than they do a suspected od but these fucking amateurs aint know jack shit obviously Ronnie: shame & shameful that is Joe: I'm a better sesh companion Ronnie: ill take the 🐴 Ronnie: whole or in bits Joe: seems the possessive type Ronnie: thats your bitch Joe: who I meant but I ain't claiming her Ronnie: bet shed be made up over a uni update Joe: bold of you to assume we haven't had many delightful lunch dates whilst you've been having cold showers Ronnie: give a fuck if youve been eating her out at any time of day Joe: yeah well I'm pretty gutted you've replaced me with another newbie Ronnie: stop fucking crying Ronnie: i aint running a nursery Joe: ain't the only one sounds of your reply Ronnie: fuck off Joe: reckon he's over you getting the sack now Ronnie: not everythings about that mary Ronnie: & he aint my keeper Joe: just your mum, I got the message Ronnie: he reckons he can baby me it aint the same thing Joe: he's older than you yeah Ronnie: youve got a sister other than me dont act like you cant get your head round it Joe: not really my M.O. Ronnie: special yeah Joe: she's got a dad and another brother happy enough to oblige Ronnie: i dont need to puke up my good time Joe: thought your stomach and nerve were meant to be stronger than that Ronnie: whatever you think about me is bullshit baby Joe: just what you've put out there Ronnie: & yours is heroics just warning you this aint no od like Ronnie: aint gotta press eject Joe: you're typing Joe: don't think anyone knows you well enough to commit to the impression here Ronnie: talking Ronnie: everyone knows idle hands are dangerous Ronnie: but that dont mean i gotta keep em busy typing Joe: yeah Joe: know the feeling Ronnie: its used to my accent & everything Ronnie: more than i can say for the live cunts here Joe: you in 💘 with your phone that's dead cute Joe: its worse when you're angry Ronnie: not in 💘 with kent Ronnie: your girlfriend proper missold it Joe: fuck off are you in kent 😂 Ronnie: fucked you over if you were gonna come carry me out again Joe: acting like you didn't ask Joe: if you're going to now, do it, like Ronnie: if you dump her back home who the fucks keeping the leccy on Joe: only got a baby habit ain't I Ronnie: what so youre carrying me out & dumping me where Ronnie: anywhere near & im taking your money shithead Joe: we don't need electric Ronnie: how will you get off on me wearing your mams face in the dark Joe: would hate to waste your hard work, obviously Ronnie: what hard work Joe: liberating my mums face from her skull Ronnie: be my pleasure Ronnie: all play Joe: alright then Joe: i'll be able to keep up Ronnie: big talk for a 12 year old virgin Joe: hiding it kent you can't talk or type about it Ronnie: im not fucking hiding Joe: yeah right Ronnie: plain sight baby Joe: 40 miles Ronnie: & Joe: if you wanna play, you're gonna have to give me another clue Joe: know if i'm getting warm Ronnie: [a blurry picture clue] Ronnie: 💘 Joe: they new friends or old Ronnie: waste of a question Joe: how many do i have left Ronnie: 39 but if you need that many dont fucking bother Joe: you don't wanna disappointed so bad Ronnie: you disappoint me by coming out the same hole Joe: that don't have to matter Joe: plenty have Ronnie: yeah but i aint met the rest of your happy family Joe: you wanna Ronnie: 38 now Joe: it could've been a statement Ronnie: was it Joe: 39 for you Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: you wanted to go to the beach Ronnie: that a question or what soft lad Joe: ?* Ronnie: didnt know there was 1 Joe: it's a county you know Ronnie: how the fuck would i know that Ronnie: shut up Joe: do you wanna go to the beach Ronnie: i can drown you in the sink Joe: i didn't put you in the shower Joe: or your phone Ronnie: youd have been made up by how blue i went though Ronnie: well like a dead girl Joe: yeah? Joe: what's it feel like Ronnie: youll get your own go Ronnie: aint holding your hand forever like Joe: gutted Ronnie: you wont reckon so when you outgrow that baby habit Joe: i'd mind if you died Ronnie: give you something to cry about Ronnie: youd be fucking into it Joe: nah Joe: people who've got shit to mope on usually don't Joe: enjoy it too much don't I, can't be having it validated, takes the fun out Ronnie: most dont reckon a happy end would be cumming inside their ma Ronnie: youd enjoy having a reason to celebrate or trauma bond depending on her fucking take Joe: our mate freud would disagree Joe: she'd wear black for the rest of her life, if that's what you wanna hear Joe: but counting it as a question, 38 Ronnie: why the fuck would i wanna hear that Ronnie: be boss for her if she never shifted her bastard baby weight like Joe: 37 unless it's rhetorical Joe: i dunno what will make you feel better Ronnie: 38 wasn't a question in the first place you just counted it cause youre a cheating lil bitch Joe: what's the prize and why do you want it so much Ronnie: use your imagination fucks sake Ronnie: why do you always want your hand held Joe: waste of a question Joe: 'cos I'm such a mummy's boy duh Ronnie: if shed let you walk into the road i wouldnt be answering any of your pussy questions Ronnie: 💔 Joe: be a lot easier for all of us Joe: i'll throw myself in front of the tube, fuck up everyone's day Ronnie: ill pick myself up from kent then yeah Joe: oh so you've claimed selfish have you Ronnie: no shit nancy drew Ronnie: fitz is still crying that i 💉 you up Joe: bless Joe: you're not claiming what got me there Ronnie: cant i wasnt fucking there Joe: then don't feel guilty Ronnie: dont fucking flatter yourself Ronnie: could care less Joe: you who's trying Ronnie: taking away a question if youre gonna lie Joe: not 12, not a virgin, don't need you to hold my hand Joe: i wanted to and want to Ronnie: made up horse girl took it while i was away Joe: yeah Ronnie: get yourself checked for 🐴 aids or whatever Joe: could care less is right Ronnie: bullshit youll be gutted if you dick falls off before you put it in your ma Joe: talking about how much you do Ronnie: what are big sisters for Ronnie: ask the other one & hell stutter round how much i dont too Joe: it's not the same Ronnie: you aint special mckenna how many times Ronnie: let your ma feed you that bullshit Ronnie: & fuck knows what youve already caught from my blood Joe: bit late for warnings Ronnie: you had one first time we met like Ronnie: got eyes Joe: exactly Joe: i'm not gonna take the hint Ronnie: too subtle for you yeah Joe: if you think you could be any more blatant Joe: have fun trying Ronnie: i am Ronnie: kent dont know what hit it Joe: i bet Joe: where have you been but some strangers doss house then Joe: and that is a question Ronnie: fuck knows Ronnie: been a blur Joe: you know its about 1,500 square miles yeah Joe: remember one landmark Ronnie: you know youre only getting any fucking answers cause im coming down Joe: we don't have to play this game Joe: if you tell me where you are, you'll be picked up quicker and then you can get whatever you need Ronnie: [a location, lord only knows] Joe: alright Ronnie: for you getting high of your bullshit heroics Joe: if it makes you feel better that you need rescuing Ronnie: do i fuck Joe: then you just wanna see me Joe: either way Ronnie: shut up Joe: what's better for you? Ronnie: your money then your life Joe: very adam ant Joe: and can be arranged Joe: even though you don't have a horse or a car so I'm more of a highwayman than you Ronnie: i aint getting on your gilfriends horse i know where its been Joe: 😏 Joe: you can just admit she's more up for it than you Ronnie: admit youre fucking brain damaged Ronnie: let her be up for hand holding & playing house Joe: what are big sisters for Ronnie: beating the shit out of you Joe: look forward to it Ronnie: yeah youve missed me Joe: not afraid to say it Ronnie: write a song about it Ronnie: no names & you can play it for any bitch Joe: thanks for the hot tip Joe: kill some time on this drive Ronnie: shouldve stuck your judy in the boot Ronnie: be eye spy & red car the whole fucking way Joe: haven't put the plastic sheet down Joe: 💔 short notice Ronnie: so torch it Ronnie: i know youve always got a lighter on you Joe: what gave it away Ronnie: ive got eyes baby Joe: try not to wear it on my sleeve though Ronnie: done a shit job there Joe: why do you show yours off Ronnie: whats the point of only feeling it on the inside Joe: doing it is feeling it on the outside Ronnie: im what they fucking made me they can look at it Joe: that makes sense Joe: yeah Ronnie: what the hell are you scared of Joe: I dunno Joe: doesn't feel like fear Joe: blending in or disappearing has always been preferable Ronnie: & you have the balls to reckon im hiding here Joe: it ain't hiding if no fucker's looking Joe: easier for them and me, like Ronnie: if you gave a shit about easier you wouldnt have looked for me Joe: it was last-ditch attempt Joe: see if you were the same, like all of them too Joe: or not Joe: and you're not Ronnie: cause she ditched me Joe: maybe Ronnie: i didnt have the luxury of blending in Joe: it's not a luxury Ronnie: not when you have it Ronnie: care kids dont Joe: not at all Joe: it was a necessity to not blow my brains out and all i ended up was cracked and wishing i had Joe: you didn't have a family to not belong in Ronnie: & you did em such a massive fucking favour by not ending it all yeah Ronnie: i dont know you or fucking care & i can tell youre desperate to Joe: if she can't get over you, and she never stuck around to know you Joe: it's fuck all to do with the person and everything to do with the label Joe: son, brother Joe: you're meant to care even if life is better or basically the same without Ronnie: good fucking thing i like downers Ronnie: youd ruin an e Joe: cheers Ronnie: get over her for fucks sake Ronnie: keep saying youre not 12 Joe: didn't have that luxury Ronnie: loads more cunts willing to fuck you over Ronnie: live a little like Joe: yeah that'll make it worth it Joe: dead inspirational Ronnie: try your other sister Joe: i'm sure she'd have even more helpful advice Ronnie: take it then Ronnie: ill kill you before i give you a reason to live Joe: you know i ain't fucking looking for one Ronnie: yeah Joe: you need anything Ronnie: i didnt tell you were to get fuck all out of it Joe: apart from a lift Ronnie: what do you reckon Joe: kk Ronnie: 💘 Joe: still not healed Joe: also looks like jobn now Ronnie: anything to make you feel special baby Joe: what I reckon Ronnie: i didnt reckon ocd made you that delusional Ronnie: but when you change it to say jobs youll blend right in Joe: not quite as fitting as when johnny did it Ronnie: whats your girlfriends name Joe: i'll find one to make it fit Joe: josie or jody maybe Ronnie: 💔 no decent gear has a girls name Joe: girls like to party not nod out Joe: gutted Ronnie: ive got a lads name i get why youre confused Joe: you didn't wanna change it Ronnie: you offering up the cash Joe: bit of a waste Joe: just for the paperwork Ronnie: yeah it is Joe: you dunno what to pick Ronnie: swear words aint allowed Joe: don't matter if you're just doing it, telling new people it's your name like Ronnie: not an underage tranny Joe: right Ronnie: bit fucking late now Joe: youre attached Ronnie: i dont care Joe: yeah Ronnie: not what i hate her for Joe: it's a lesser sin Joe: and not the worst name Ronnie: if thats your way of trying to namedrop the others, dont Joe: why would I Ronnie: i dont know you cant really answer why youd do fuck all Joe: i don't need to ask if you want to know them Ronnie: like their names are gonna tell me who they are Joe: like you care Ronnie: like thats ever stopped you Joe: I can't un-find you Joe: but I'm not going to force you to meet any of them or know any more than what's been said Ronnie: no fixed address remember Ronnie: cant make it much fucking easier for you Joe: no, you can't Ronnie: stop crying then Ronnie: you can do better than a car crash Joe: do better Ronnie: yeah like washing up on the beach Ronnie: keep every cunt guessing how you died Joe: see how many beaches I can end up on Ronnie: dead romantic Joe: you can have fun with the hacksaw anyway Joe: least I could do Ronnie: you dont owe me Joe: i do Ronnie: for what Joe: for finding you when you didn't want finding Ronnie: you got the wrong bastard Ronnie: loads of others would be made up Joe: would they? Joe: regardless, I did it for me Ronnie: fuck off trying to take selfish off me Joe: 😏 Ronnie: been a few days since ive used a phone as a weapon Ronnie: keep on if you want it chucked at you Joe: you've promised better than that Ronnie: course you cant last through the foreplay Joe: alright, romantic Ronnie: you fucking wish soft lad Joe: you wish i wished Ronnie: i fucking dont Joe: alright Ronnie: keep the 🕯🌹 for your girlfriend like Ronnie: fuck all i can do with soft Joe: lighters and poppies suit me better as well Ronnie: next tattoos then Ronnie: dont know if itll look like a poppy but fuck it Ronnie: ill cut it out if you dont like it Joe: even if we avoid the sleeve, still a lot of skin to ruin Joe: are you just going over now Ronnie: waste of a question Ronnie: theres fuck all you can do Joe: what, my scribbles weren't a masterpiece compared to your boyfriends Ronnie: told you get what you pay for mckenna Ronnie: & that i dont get hard for mozart & the like Joe: weren't gonna score a symphony on you but alright Joe: no touching Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: you & your baby habit dont score Joe: just pays Ronnie: dead comforting when i get robbed & left in a kent ditch Joe: it'll be the nicest ditch you've ever been in Ronnie: squatters rights Joe: my bed ain't comfy enough Ronnie: its the fact that its yours making me wanna hang myself with a sheet Ronnie: should say its too soft like you though shouldnt i Ronnie: gutted i fucked that up like Ronnie: we were playing so nice Joe: yeah, goldilocks suits Ronnie: unless your hair has fallen out Joe: I've not pulled it out either Joe: or soph, like Ronnie: not enough like a mane for her Joe: 💔 Joe: if only she'd have known me a few years ago Ronnie: get the family album out shell be made up Joe: shed a tear over our lack of horse Joe: sympathy fuck is better than none yeah Ronnie: the lack of me will really get her going Ronnie: had the pity eye fuck soon as i showed up Joe: she's an empath, babe, why she's so good at art Joe: lack of you might be an issue for me though Ronnie: another word for nosy cunt Joe: undoubtedly Joe: if i could sum up what was wrong with me for her I would Joe: but guess she likes the guessing Ronnie: if she was scouse shed just fucking come out with it Joe: gobshites, yeah Ronnie: what you get for having girlfriends who aint even wool Ronnie: self hatred making you go posh about it Joe: my last actual girlfriend was Ronnie: & youre claiming her Joe: not still writing songs about her Joe: well, never was Ronnie: shell still be 💔 Joe: nah Ronnie: you keep her waiting this long or am i that special Joe: you don't even know how far you've gone from london Joe: you're nearly 2 hours away Ronnie: if youre sticking to the speed limit Ronnie: stop being a pussy Joe: meet me and the car in the next ditch over Ronnie: more hand holding for fucks sake Joe: more than that if you want that lift Joe: have to drag the car out and hotwire it Joe: scrape me off the windshield Ronnie: i told you to stop getting me & what im into Joe: maybe i'm trying really hard Ronnie: far as hurting yourself goes thats the shittest way to have a go Joe: 💔 too weak Ronnie: keep your limp wrists on the steering wheel Ronnie: i wanna get out of here Joe: 😏 Joe: in a bit then Joe: got speeding to do and if you won't shut up Ronnie: youd have to try harder to make me Ronnie: that aint fucking likely Joe: only have to ask Joe: not nice or nothing Ronnie: i dont ask for handouts theyre given to me on account of all those mental problems ive got Joe: wouldn't it be nice to be the one doing the charity work for once Ronnie: if thats the only high youre offering me turn the fuck around Joe: not that daft Ronnie: your ma tell you that Joe: loads Ronnie: her judgements for shit not getting rid of us both with a hanger Joe: agreed Ronnie: dont put a kid in her shed only keep that one too Joe: still raising the last one Ronnie: like thatd stop her Ronnie: no fucking time wasted Joe: she did stop Joe: hence the 9 year gap oopsie baby Ronnie: reckon shed know what causes it by then Joe: Ireland got to her I guess Ronnie: dead keen for my invite now Joe: put it across as a valid form of contraception Joe: chlamydia Joe: they'd go for it Ronnie: worked for me Joe: postergirl Ronnie: 💔 there was no need to sew myself up Ronnie: be more fun than whichever fuck gave me it Joe: god willing Ronnie: your catholic one would be dead willing Joe: you're thinking of the wrong over-zealous christian country Ronnie: not on the right drugs for that kind of bullshit thinking Joe: 🍄 Joe: look out for cowshit whilst you're waiting Ronnie: that determined for me to see the sights yeah Joe: can't waste such an opportunity Ronnie: 🖕 watch me Joe: kent only comes calling so many times, like Joe: your choice Ronnie: shell be taking you every time uni gives you time off Joe: i'm good for it Ronnie: its well cute that you reckon youve got any say Ronnie: possessive type i heard Joe: 😏 Ronnie: she changed the 🔒 on your room yet Joe: keep you in or out? Ronnie: reckon it ended at the pity eye fuck for me & her Joe: 💔 Ronnie: yeah Joe: i'll talk her 'round for you Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: i dont need you to translate for me Ronnie: we got the money your carer role is over Joe: it's all in the eyes, I heard you Joe: not patronizing on your deep relationship Ronnie: shut up Joe: 🤐 Ronnie: & drive faster Joe: 👌 Ronnie: fucking hell i can see why shes fucking obsessed with you Joe: if you want chat Joe: definitely in the wrong place Joe: she don't need to know my ears aren't listening to hers Ronnie: she already knows you do what youre told without talking back Ronnie: like a battered wife Joe: anything for an easy 💀 Ronnie: youre coming to the right place for that Ronnie: but i wont tell her Joe: it's not a reportable crime Ronnie: im not a snitch & i can wear shades if she tries to eye fuck her way to finding fuck all out Joe: dunno if that's enough of a disguise but I don't care Joe: a habit, she could say something about that Joe: but the rest Ronnie: what rest Ronnie: you only want a habit Joe: speak for yourself Ronnie: im echoing you Ronnie: you fucking said it Joe: you know it's not true though Ronnie: youre full of shit yeah Joe: yeah Joe: you too if you wanna pretend about it Ronnie: i dont play pretend im not a fucking kid Joe: good Joe: then you know what's happening here Ronnie: [a picture or video of whatever is happening where she is, lord knows] Joe: you don't have to reciprocate, dickhead Joe: no need to try and make me crash Ronnie: thought youd grown a set of balls & had em drop while ive been here Ronnie: what it sounded like Joe: how olds the other one Joe: he looks younger than me Ronnie: didnt do a survey Joe: I mean your mate, I don't know his name Joe: not Charlie Ronnie: 17 Joe: he must've been a baby when you met, like Ronnie: whats your point Joe: ain't got one Joe: just wondering Ronnie: youre not his type Joe: he's not mine Ronnie: stop wondering then Joe: why? Ronnie: hes fuck all to do with you Ronnie: your mam didnt push him out Joe: not trying to get to know him over you Ronnie: then why do you care Joe: same age as my brother Joe: and the girl my parents took in, one of Joe: that's it Ronnie: here we fucking go Ronnie: you said you werent gonna do that Joe: you kept asking Ronnie: cause i dont want you fucking nonce my brother Ronnie: give a fuck about yours Joe: 'cos you think I would, alright Joe: don't be stupid Ronnie: i dont know what youd do Ronnie: dont fucking know you Joe: well I'm straight and entirely uninterested Ronnie: youre also full of shit Joe: why do you give a fuck Joe: I'm only a year older, if I wanted to, I would Ronnie: why do i give a fuck that you lied to me or about him Ronnie: go ed & wonder about it Joe: it weren't a lie Joe: shit changes Ronnie: i dont wanna hear about them that aint gonna change Joe: fine Ronnie: fuck you Joe: also fine Joe: sorry, alright Joe: it means fuck all Ronnie: its not fine Ronnie: & it means im gonna be running comparisons in my head Joe: just forget about it Joe: of course they're all around my age ish, it don't mean you know any more about them Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: it don't matter Ronnie: cause you get to tell me what matters too yeah Joe: come on Ronnie: you dont or what to fucking do either Joe: then what Joe: I said it, I said sorry Joe: you do what you must Ronnie: go home & give horse girl your sorry Joe: fuck that Joe: you still need to get back to London and I'm nearly there Ronnie: i got here i can leave here Joe: bullshit Ronnie: you wish Joe: well I'm still coming Ronnie: i dont care Ronnie: youve been going on about how big it is Ronnie: stay the fuck away from me Joe: Jesus fucking christ don't be such a pussy Ronnie: you fucking wish Joe: whatever Joe: this is going nowhere right now Joe: you know where to find me when you wanna actually do something about it Ronnie: your half arsed self destruction is going nowhere Ronnie: do something about that your fucking self instead of trying to bait me Joe: I'm still on my way Ronnie: kents full of real pussys you can save Ronnie: youll 💘 it Joe: I don't give a fuck, Ronnie Ronnie: why are you crying Ronnie: you fucked me over Joe: because this is a waste of time Ronnie: youre a junkie now get used to it Joe: at least I've got that Ronnie: youre welcome baby Joe: good luck finding decent shit in kent Ronnie: not going with you dont mean im staying here Joe: but I've got mine already Ronnie: you can have selfish Joe: I told you I was bringing more for you Joe: if you can get over it you can have your share Ronnie: ill take it over it not Ronnie: *or Ronnie: you cant fucking stop me Joe: say you want me to come then Joe: i know where you are, not the other way 'round Ronnie: youre the liar mckenna Ronnie: i dont want you to be anywhere Joe: then why should I come and share Joe: that's a question Ronnie: you love heroics Joe: [show up at this point] Ronnie: [what a fun little reunion that'll be] Joe: [so, we know the vibes but also do we wanna pitch it out] Ronnie: [we totally can for our own amusement/in case a moment or something happens again] Joe: [so obviously he gets there and she's gonna be fuming hens, yeah?] Ronnie: [she gonna fight him lol enjoy that random peeps] Ronnie: [but that works cos like if someone takes that seriously instead of realising we just flirting with each other then they gotta go] Joe: [go away for some alone time to take your drugs somewhere, we voting beach] Ronnie: [yeah because realistically nobody will be there at this o clock unless they are likewise up for shady shit so it works for them as well as being romantic for us because has she been to the beach before probably not] Joe: [so unintentionallly wholesome] Ronnie: [try not to freak out immediately about that this time lads] Joe: [or OD again] Ronnie: [or freeze to death because when are you ever dressed for the weather gal] Joe: [have to stay close purely for warmth whoops] Ronnie: [can't pretend you're angry enough to be at the other end of the beach its not that deep] Joe: [shame it'll be too late to get fish n chips or something beach related but you can skim stones] Ronnie: [I wonder if there's anywhere you could break into because always a mood] Joe: [on a lot of seafronts they have those shelter moments that are boarded up you know what I mean] Ronnie: [yeah that was what I had in mind] Joe: [was that tracy beaker when jess and that girl were snuggled in there and tracy thought it was a lad lollol] Ronnie: [I loved that bit] Joe: [soz i've forgotten your name but that whole character and vibe was a mood, buzzing for the show/movie whatever they're doing] Ronnie: [a child Tess mood 100%] Joe: [fosho fosho, you're gonna have to sleep on this beach/his car 'cos not letting you drive in that state for that long yet tah] Ronnie: [we all know you're gonna be snuggling and I'm here for it, maybe you can get fish and chips in the am/when you wake up] Joe: [for breakfast lol, get all the sugary snacks as well like candy floss doughnuts, casual binge here like neither of you clearly eats much day to day] Ronnie: [healthwise you've both got bigger problems so we can allow it] Joe: [sugar high, living for unintentional wholesomeness lol] Ronnie: [love the childlike vibe always] Joe: [when I go the hunstanton with the gals, which is like, scummy seaside vibes you know, there's always rides there, but also there was like a tattoo hut where you could get actual tattoos for like a fiver and it looks so dubious lol] Ronnie: [omg that is amazing and we must] Joe: [you could get piercings too which might have him do just to mess with it] Ronnie: [we know she already has so likewise not gonna resist getting another, the more extra the better though placement wise cos we do love to shock joseph with our endeavours] Ronnie: [whack a tit out casually or whatever like] Joe: [lmao, dreading these infections hens] Ronnie: [I went to margate and all I got was this lousy tat and a persistent infection, put that on a t-shirt] Joe: [shame they only do flashes gals] Ronnie: [get some DIYing happening lads, we know that kind of thing is flirting for you] Joe: [the tension at this point like you've actually shown loads of restraint even though the opposite seems true lol] Ronnie: [lowkey not what anyone would expect of you which is why I like it] Joe: [mhmm not actually all doom and gloom even if we say and pretend it or what would be the point] Ronnie: [they'd actually be having such a lovely time and when was the last time either of them did, I'm fine about it yep] Joe: [truly, it ain't just about the drugs or any of the 'fucked up ness' from the off and that's the tea no one else be seeing] Ronnie: [mhmm and it wouldn't last how it does if it was] Joe: [connection huns] Ronnie: [the TENSION on this car journey back like don't crash tbh] Joe: [at least you can play really loud music and pretend that's distraction enough] Ronnie: [and play with your new injuries] Ronnie: [lowkey bonding even more about your love of music though we see you] Joe: [mhmm, when it's not all classical obvs 'cos you aren't Rosaline] Ronnie: [probably drop her at Charlie's hun cos otherwise something is gonna happen] Joe: [hope you brought him some rock but i know you did not lol, go make friends again, you go think 'bout your life joseph] Ronnie: [probably stole him a postcard that you've written some bants on to slide under his door] Joe: [that's cute, hilarious over-sexual postcard as they always are] Ronnie: [yeah exactly and then he knows you're back so you can talk or whatever you're gonna do to clear the air] Joe: [that's this era in general we know the vibe]

[wings-of-a-storm]

Alright, I am back with the remainder of my thoughts on Lucas’ and Eliott’s first meeting! This time looking at Clip 7: their first conversation.

Here I mostly ponder: - Lucas approaching Eliott: a study in art - Lucas' almost painful vulnerability - How Lucas and Eliott met in the middle (Edit: Woah, it’s like Polaris!) - The ways Eliott differs to Even (and how his gentleness will be the end of me) - How tightly guarded Lucas is with people - including Eliott for now - The different vibe characters bring to scenes: how Eliott’s personality made the three’s-a-crowd moment feel more subtle - Chloé and Eliott at the altar of Lucas Lallemant

LUCAS APPROACHING ELIOTT: A STUDY IN ART

The way Lucas just freezes at the bus stop when he realises Eliott’s right there, alone, by the vending machine�� Oh my heart.

A new infatuation comes with plenty of emotions. Sometimes there is a passionate zeal, but sometimes there is crippling uncertainty and insecurity. It makes the direct contrast between Player Lucas’ confidence with Chloé and Real Lucas’ muteness around Eliott all the more powerful. It is obviously easier to hit on someone when you have nothing emotionally at stake or any real interest. When you do have actual feelings at stake though…

Standing by the bus stop, Lucas has a chance, an opportunity to talk to this guy who has absolutely captivated him. He could just walk away and forget anything ever happened to him in that meeting, or he can just…try and talk to him. Just to see. And hats off to Lucas, because even though he looks so unsure and scared, he visibly steels himself and chooses the harder option so that he will never regret it.

I am just in awe of Lucas right now, because wow, in this version of SKAM, our closeted boy made the first move.

It is just so wonderful (and super sweet) that even though Lucas is so confused by his feelings (and probably scared of them too), he just can’t not approach Eliott. He has a real need to see what Eliott is like to talk to. To know what he is like as a person. To be able to look at those eyes again up close. To hear what his voice sounds like. To just…explore who this guy is.

Yet the first step of approaching Eliott by the vending machine is all Lucas can muster. Eliott is right there in front of him but he can’t shake that muteness to start up a conversation. He doesn’t know what to do or what to say, he just wants to be near Eliott so he just…hovers. And watches him -- always with the watching. (Little does he know Eliott has been feeling the same way.)

LUCAS AND ELIOTT: MEETING IN THE MIDDLE (EDIT: Well, hello there Polaris. Looks like this section suddenly became more significant than I realised...)

It feels special that Lucas makes the first move to approach Eliott while Eliott is the one who makes the first move to initiate conversation. It is like they met in the middle.

Eliott has known about Lucas for three weeks but hadn’t been able to steel himself to approach him. Lucas inadvertently took this step for both of them when he approached Eliott at the vending machine. As inadvertent as it was, it feels like Lucas helped Eliott there.

Meanwhile, after discovering Eliott’s existence, Lucas couldn’t find a voice (literally) to start a conversation with him. So Eliott inadvertently helped Lucas by being the one to both initiate and lead the conversations between them at the vending machine and bus stop. Eliott didn’t realise it, but he was really helping Lucas out there.

Separately they couldn’t get what they needed, but through inadvertent teamwork, they succeeded. It’s so beautiful!

(EDIT:  Okay so Eliott’s Polaris film idea is that two lovers meet in the middle (or at the border of their worlds). Meeting in the middle must definitely be a theme that they are exploring in the show and they seem to have started it early. I am so excited to see how it develops further!)

LUCAS’ FIRST STEPS

My favourite part of the whole clip though is actually the process of Lucas approaching Eliott -- how he slowly turns the corner of the bus shelter while peeking around it... It is such a soft moment, and the vulnerability and tentativeness of each footstep feels so fragile! I want to hold my breath so I don’t disturb this very delicate thing happening.

Lucas is just so unsure and yet yearning so much. Each slow, tiny step he takes feel like a wonder. Accompanied by the soft, tentative piano composition, it is just too much for me. I think it is so effective because of the confident front we are so used to Lucas displaying. This level of vulnerability feels so painful to watch in comparison.

A MUTUAL VULNERABILITY

If Lucas has one brand of vulnerability (muteness, shall we call it), then as soon as we get to see Eliott’s face and body language at the vending machine, we witness another brand of vulnerability (for now, let’s call it anxiety). How can one man look so vulnerable in front of a vending machine! The way he is running his fingers over his lip doesn’t feel like simple indecisiveness, more like a low-level anxiety over making the right decision. Is our Eliott an over-thinker? If so what a parallel to Lucas right now who is also deep in thought over Eliott’s shoulder.

It’s so freakin’ adorable when Eliott senses someone waiting nearby and then panics for a split second when he turns and realises it is his crush. And then sort of straightens himself out into a cooler version of himself. (But still with that self-deprecating grimace/chuckle at his inability to make a simple decision.)

But he doesn’t look cool so much as SOFT! The way he hunches over his money and sorts through it so earnestly!

I mean...

What a time to be alive for Eliott though! His crush is actually standing right there, looking at him, with none of his friends around. Eliott’s mind must have been thinking overtime on how he can capitalise on that and prolong their interaction. So he goes in to buy a second bar, and it is so obvious that it is his plan to try and get Lucas to hang out with him because he is suddenly all nerves again – he forgets the chill vibe and can’t stand still and his hands fly over to his mouth again in that nervous tic.

What he doesn’t realise is that Lucas is just as nervous: Lucas can easily recommend a museli bar to Eliott but as soon as Eliott’s full attention diverts to him, he reverts back to: Can’t. Speak. Too. Overwhelmed. Send. Help. (With these two It’s really a case of the blind leading the blind, eh!)

And then the expression on Lucas’ face when he gets propositioned by Eliott to hang out (which is basically what he had been wanting all along) without having to do anything or even say anything was like: “Well, that happened.” He is almost in a daze. It’s such a far cry from the Lucas who blew weed into Chloé’s mouth without skipping a beat…

I am such a wreck from Lucas’ vulnerability!

A WHOLESOME INTERACTION

We need to talk about Eliott’s vibe compared to Even’s during that proposition though. The Coolness of Even in the bathroom with the paper towels cannot be understated. And he was able to maintain that Coolness the whole time, despite the ridiculousness of what he was doing. Smooth af, man, smooth af. Eliott, on the other hand, is someone who looks trademark Cool at first glance, but whose Softness just completely overflows when you get closer. His “Oh, did you want one? Sorry ‘bout it” joke has all the hallmarks of a smooth line, but that adorable grin takes all the bite out of it.

And then Eliott goes one step further and reveals that he bought the second bar with Lucas in mind. Um, is that not the sweetest gesture? Lucas, this boy just met you (LOL) and bought you food because he wishes to spend more time with you. That is peak Softness and how are you even functioning right now?

Oh wait, you’re not.

Seriously though, how wholesome was that entire interaction? Eliott buys a snack to bribe Lucas instead of using the obvious weed draw-card sitting behind his ear. You’re in safe hands, Lucas. (It was weed, right?)

Of course then it cuts to them at the bus stop and we can see that despite the invitation coup, Lucas is still Mute! All he can do is just starrrrrre at Eliott in peak Shook. I really can’t handle how adorable that is! What exactly will it take for Lucas to be more chill and grounded?

And then of course when he is able to function again, he pulls this face:

We understand, Lucas.

AN INSIGHT INTO LUCAS

As cute as all the muteness is, we need to talk about something else: the fact that Lucas not once offered up any information about himself to Eliott. No name, no grade, no L/ES/S, even though he had several chances to reciprocate.

Eliott is so warm and open with Lucas, so very happy to divulge information so that Lucas can know all about him and *sobs* be his friend. If he had a CV on hand, I’m sure he’d have tried to hand that over to Lucas too. (Boy is begging to be stalked on social media. EDIT: Or on his class register XD)

Lucas obviously wants to spend time with Eliott too, otherwise he wouldn’t have swallowed his nerves to go up to him in the first place. So why did he ignore the unspoken invitation to reciprocate the most typical, basic getting-to-know-you stuff with Eliott? His grade and subject choice aren’t exactly super personal details even if his name is. It is so sad that he is so closed off even with the little things.

Is he still so fearful of his attraction to Eliott that he needs to keep the most basic parts of his identity close to his chest/safe, to remain in control of his identity? The poor guy… (Though to be fair, Lucas did only just know of Eliott’s existence an hour ago so he is still processing everything, including whether it is safe to divulge anything to Eliott.)

AN INSIGHT INTO ELIOTT

Speaking of identity – was it just me or was Eliott’s joke about Lucas thinking him weird a clever little layering for what is to come (since we already know about Eliott’s secret). Or rather, a clever little insight into the insecurity that Eliott must feel about himself to even insert himself into the ‘weird’ joke like that… Hmm. We’ll see.

SANDBAGGING CHLOE

I also just really wanted to give special mention to Eliott for sandbagging Chloé at the bus stop. I already mentioned my amusement in another post, but I may as well include it here too. It was just so brilliant that Eliott had just been opining the value of the common room to a sceptical Lucas, and insisting on how great it is to meet new people through it… But the second a new person comes over to them (from that meeting and everything), he couldn’t care less. He just gives Chloé a mandatory smile and greeting and offers nothing else until further prompted. I mean, what were you saying earlier, Eliott? (You have to love him.)

THE ALTAR OF LUCAS

Also a special shout out this piece of framing, otherwise known as The Disciples at the Altar of Lucas Lallemant. Our son has zero idea just how desperately everyone at that bus stop wants to be his friend and more.

It’s actually really cute how everyone is silent and just gazing at Lucas, waiting for him to do something. Because all Eliott and Chloé care about is Lucas – what he is doing, what he is thinking, what he might end up saying. It’s almost painful how happy they both are just to be spending this time with him. While Lucas has no real clue and is giving them nothing.

Poor Lucas though, being hit by those duel stares with the full force of an angel and a demon. (No offence to Chloé, but you know, she stresses Lucas out even though it’s his own doing.)

Actually poor Chloé too – she was trying so hard to use Eliott’s weed to jog Lucas’ memory about their weekend weed kiss but he ignored it.

Okay fine, while I am at it, poor Eliott as well for having his dreams come true (being able to talk to Lucas alone) only to have it snatched away so soon by a third party.

Being at this altar is hard. ;)

ELIOTT WITH CHLOE: A NEW VIBE

It has been quite interesting to see the changes that new characters bring to og scenes. With different people/personalities (because no one person is the same as someone else), different vibes come to the fore. I found this whole bus stop scene a more subtle experience than the og bench scene, and it’s mostly to do with Eliott’s personality.

In og, that bench awkwardness was so palpable. Obviously you could feel how uncomfortable Isak was, but you could also feel how put out Even was by their third wheel. He actually frowned when Emma came along and flat-out started to reject her with the ‘We’re supposed to be in pairs’ (before softening it).

Eliott was different. Because of his go-to safety net – sweetly smiling – he gives off the vibe that he is just a happy, open person who is good-natured with everyone. It is much harder to tell that he was bothered by Chloé’s sudden presence. He just looked like anyone who is faced with a new person they don’t know – politely wary and just waiting for an introduction.

The signs he doesn’t want Chloé there are more subtle than Even’s – like not volunteering his name after she introduced herself until prompted further, and directing answers to her questions back to Lucas to show where his priorities lay (including the ‘weird’ in-joke, because even though they’ve only spoken for a few minutes, they already have an in-joke. Hah).

But Eliott is just so goddamn gentle! If I were Lucas, I’d think that Eliott was just a little shy with Chloé but totally fine with meeting her and going with the flow – as opposed to mutually wanting her to leave them in peace.

So yeh, as the camera panned away, it kind of felt like three acquaintances chilling at a bus stop, running out of things to talk about. In the og, I definitely felt the tension of ‘ughhh why are you ruining this, Emma’ from both the boys a bit more. (That is more of an observation than a complaint, because I do like how sweet Eliott is with people. For now at least. Gosh, now I am so curious to see how he snaps at a certain character yet to be introduced. I can’t picture it!)

SAY MY NAME, SAY MY NAME~

But before I leave this bus stop scene there is just one more thing I need to bring up…

Did our dear Lucas sandbag Eliott at the end there? Eliott was so determined for Lucas to know his name – he told it to Chloé, but he gave it to Lucas. Just in case Lucas wasn’t aware of the import of this information. Just in case he had zoned out and missed this scoop. And Lucas just nodded and looked away as if he gave no f’s. He didn’t even do the polite thing and return the favour. Total ouch!

Okay Eliott buddy, the bad news is that Lucas pretended not to care. The good news is: he knows your name now! (Well, half of it. Good luck finding anything without his surname, Lucas. EDIT: WOW THE NEW CLIP JUST CAME OUT OF LUCAS HUNTING THROUGH THE L REGISTER AND WHAT A DESPERATE GENIUS. I STAN.)

With that lack of name reciprocation, I am just going to assume again that Lucas is still not ready to show any of his cards while he is processing everything. And it might feel safer for him to act unaffected by Eliott, especially with Chloé sitting right there, reminding him that he has that old curated persona to maintain.

I am also going to assume that Eliott didn’t take it personally and figures at least the ice is broken now. (I say that as if Eliott doesn’t already know Lucas’ name – which he probably does – but it’s the principle of the matter!)

BUILDING A BONFIRE

It’s not very gracious of me, but I can’t help but end this thought-dump with a metaphorical bonfire that I can throw the music soundtrack onto. I just...could not gel with that last song that ruined the flow took us into the credits. It felt like suddenly I was in an 80s superhero movie. I don’t mind some synth but yikes what was that? It didn’t fit the mood for me at all. And I am not just saying that because it is an indie instrumental – Skam Italia used that type of soundtrack brilliantly to complement scenes. So yeh, I’m not sure why that song was picked but I hope it is just an outlier…?

Alright guys, thanks for reading (if you made it this far!) Until next time. <3

[irwintry]

Caramel Macchiato

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, mention of drugs

Author’s Note: i’m.... back.... startin’ fresh lol (i was rly hoping there would be more new gif options but oh well)

Word Count: 3.4k

Luke liked the stickers on your laptop. So, after five times of noticing you at the café, he told you.

“I like the stickers on your laptop,” he mumbled, leaning over towards you as he pretended to almost pass you completely. The ceramic coffee mug was burning his hand, but he refused to show any pain in order to remain cool around you.

You grinned. “Thanks.”

He nodded with a smile, and that was it. 

He spent the rest of the afternoon jotting down your quirks: the way you tangled your hands into your hair to keep the strands away from your eyes, the gentle smirk that appeared every time you read something online or in your book that you made you laugh, and lastly, the twitch of your fingers along the dog-eared pages of a novel he knew all too well.

Luke assumed you were a college student, an English major to be exact, and he also figured you liked your eggs scrambled as opposed to sunny-side up. You probably preferred floral-themed scents over pine scents, and you definitely doodled cute animals on your class notes. Truth be told, he didn’t know a thing about you, yet somehow you were so easy to read.

It made him want to create a character solely based around the idea of you.

He had noticed you a few dozen times, though the two of you shared little to no interactions aside from his actions today. His heart raced for a solid four minutes after that. It made him wonder what a full-on conversation with you would feel like. Pure bliss or possibly similar to that time he had a really bad acid trip (he vowed to never try it again).

There were times he caught you at the pharmacy down the road or at the ice cream place by his apartment complex. A part of him wanted to assume you were lactose intolerant but that you loved mint chocolate chip too darn much to give it up. Yet, not once did he say a word.

Luke had plenty of reasons to believe you weren’t significant to his life. For all he knew, you could be a misconnection that decided to not leave him alone. But he refused to forget you, so he kept making his presence as obvious as possible without speaking up. He got used to sharing soft smiles with you, and sometimes, there were subtle head nods– the greeting kind of nod. At least he could identify the fact that you acknowledged him.

You acknowledged him when the customers in line at the café were being obnoxious. With wide eyes and a hand clasped over your mouth to keep you from laughing too hard, your gaze darted to him. He’d laugh too, not because he felt like he had to, but because he was too damn happy to be noticed by you. You also acknowledged him sometimes with a quick wave, though those were saved for the times you two passed each other on the street. You acknowledged him. You saw him.

So, why was it so hard for him to take things a step further?

Well, frankly, Luke had issues talking to a lot of people. He hid behind his glasses and three published novels (which could be hard sometimes when the occasional person recognized him from some online article circa 2016. And, there were times his old professors tried to catch up for coffee on particularly bad-brain afternoons. So, you could say Luke had a hard time staying incognito at all times). He was painfully shy, and he saved his words for pen and paper–– they meant more that way.

You were always in the café before Luke, your books piled high beside you as you scrolled aimlessly on that sad laptop of yours. There was always a crease between your brows, but the next day, Luke couldn’t find that crease. In fact, he couldn’t find you. Maybe you were sick. Maybe you died. Maybe you–

You padded in behind him, wheezing and panting as though it was summer again. Your canvas tote had slipped off of your shoulder after you wedged your way in between the closing door, and your hair... wow, Luke still thought you were fucking cute.

“Run a marathon?” he asked without realizing the words slipped out from between his wide smile.

You would have glared at him if it hadn’t been for the fact that it was him talking to you. Anyone else’s amused expression would have pissed you off. “N-no,” you gasped out, clearly struggling to compose yourself in front of the tall man.

His smile had no issue growing larger as he watched you. He stepped forward in line.

“’s stupid,” you laughed and straightened your spine. “I nearly drowned my body weight in NyQuil last night, so I slept through my alarm which meant that I was gonna be late to beat you here. And, I just couldn’t let that happen.”

Luke almost gasped. “What?”

“Told you,” you mumbled, “stupid.”

He stepped up to the register, greeting the barista he still hadn’t learned the name of despite his consistent coffee schedule. “Small Americano please,” he said, glancing at them and then at you. “What d’ya want?”

You crooked an eyebrow. “What?”

“What do you want?”

“You’re not...”

Luke gave you a soft smile, and you returned it.

“Um...” You leaned forward. “Small Caramel Macchiato for me, please.” You leaned back. “You suck. Thank you.”

He nodded. “Course.” Luke decided that after this, he would definitely start talking to you more.

-

He had seen you a total of three times since the “big” interaction, and not one of those times could he work up enough courage to do what he had done that day at the café. He was neck deep in late publication deadlines, and he had already told two of his old professors that he would come into their classes for a short guest lecture (he couldn’t figure out why he had agreed to that, but it was on a whim, and he felt bad about backing out). Luke didn’t like that people idolized him–– he could hardly figure out how to work a can opener.

Today, your arms were full of Tostitos corn chip bags, and your cheeks were red and puffy. Luke pretended not to notice you at first, so he darted into the next aisle of the CVS to search for his granola. Unfortunately for him, you also needed granola.

“Oh, thank fuck you like Bear Naked, too,” you said as you approached him on his left. “Don’t know what I’d do if you chose KIND. Probably die I guess.”

Luke chuckled at you, but your appearance kept distracting him. You had been crying, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know why. He glanced at the chips that were cradled in your arms.

You noticed his gaze and let out a quick sigh. “My boyfriend and I go through these chips like they’re frickin’ crack, I swear. I-it was my turn to buy them.”

All Luke could do was nod. His heart had plummeted when you mentioned your boyfriend, and it only fell more when your voice faltered. Luke didn’t want to assume anything, but he wondered if that was the reason you had been crying in the first place.

“Um,” you muttered, backing up a bit. “Good t’see you. I’ll catch you later?”

“You gonna be all right?” Luke asked. Again, his own voice shocked him. He began fiddling with the zipper on his granola package.

Your frown deepened. “Yeah, I’m– uh, I’m fine. Thanks.”

He nodded once more. It was when you started to walk away from him that he said, “lemme know if ya need a coffee pick-me-up.”

“Nuh uh,” you replied smugly. “I owe you. ‘If the sun were to die and all life on earth suddenly ceased,–‘ “

“’–the light in your eyes would never gray until the day I repay the favors you gifted me,” he interrupted, and for a good reason at that. You had quoted his book.

Your entire face lit up. This also caused you to nearly drop the three bags of Tostitos corn chips. “You know Luke Hemmings!?” you exclaimed as you rushed back over to the blond.

Luke bit his bottom lip to keep from laughing too loud. It would be easy to reveal himself right then and there, but where was the fun in that? “A lil bit. Not really though.” He shrugged and stuffed his free hand in his tight jean pocket.

The shock on your face had yet to leave, and this excited him. You weren’t even starstruck– you didn’t know who you were talking to! You were just happy, and that made him happy. “But you know of him. Oh my, God. Like, no one knows of him.”

Ouch.

“You literally have no idea how much this means to me,” you continued. “My professors are like, his biggest fans. They constantly talk about him and his achievements, and I would give anything to be more like him.”

“What?” Luke said, and a little too high-pitched at that. “Are you a writer, too?”

You shook your head, then you nodded, and then you shrugged. “I try to be. I’ll never be as good as him, but– “

“But you shouldn’t strive to be like someone else,” he responded. He was honestly just amazed that you were here unknowingly complimenting him. “What makes your writing unique is that it’s written by you.”

You smiled. The pink-tint of your cheeks had faded a bit since he first saw you. “Spoken like Luke Hemmings himself. Did you know him or something?”

Luke really wanted to say something, but a part of him chose to hold the information back. He didn’t want that to be the reason you continued talking to him. “I had a class with him once.”

“WHAT?”

He shuffled backward, his hand landing over his heart as he registered the volume that you had somehow managed to get to. He wasn’t positive a small human like you could reach that decibel level.

“Sorry, sorry,” you mumbled shyly, “but, are you fucking kidding me?”

He shook his head.

“Can you tell him that I want to frickin’ marry him?”

Luke nearly choked on his saliva. “S-sure,” he chuckled out breathlessly. He could say something right there. Would you believe him?

“I– “ The phone in your pocket began to ring. “Shit, gotta go.” You started to walk away, except you weren’t turning around. You pointed a finger at him as you said, “I owe you. Coffee’s on me tomorrow. Kay? Buh-bye!”

Luke let out a long, deep breath. His insides were churning, almost as if he was sick with the stomach flu. Could anyone really be this happy? Yes, they truly could.

-

He expected to see you the next day, but he didn’t. A week and two days passed before you rushed into the café behind him once again. Everything was typical, everything was normal... except it wasn’t. Your smile wasn’t as bright, though you did offer to pay for his coffee. And when the barista said Luke’s name, you weren’t even fazed. Your mind was too distracted to notice the person standing in front of you was the very person you gushed over a week ago.

You sat at his table without even asking. Before he could say a word, you pressed your face onto your giant textbook and wailed quietly. Your palms were flat against the table as slow breaths escaped your distressed body.

He didn’t quite know what to do or say, but it seemed like you realized that. A second later, your head shot up, and you dried the tears that had managed to spill while you were rested against the large Econ book.

“’m gonna be eating Tostitos alone now,” you whimpered.

Somehow, Luke understood that.

You groaned, slamming your head back onto the rented textbook before resting your chin on it to look up at him. “I saw it coming! I saw it coming but I’m fuckin’ sad.”

“You’re allowed to be sad.”

“I know, it’s just– “ you sighed, rubbing your eyes. “A whole damn year of my life. And I’m sad but I’m not...”

“Heartbroken?” Luke hadn’t been through a break up in a long time, so he didn’t really know what to think. He just knew that he wanted you to be happy with him.

You shrugged. “I guess.”

So, he shrugged, too. “Maybe you wanted it to happen.”

That was when you nodded and said, “I think I did.”

Two minutes later, you collected your things and left without a goodbye.

-

Luke went out for a bit of ice cream that night. His heart hurt a bit, especially after his interaction with you earlier in the day. It had been surreal for a while– the idea that you would never feel the same way about him, but now it was hitting him hard. He was all too focused in the movement of your hands and the joy in your voice when you spoke, and it never occurred to him that you could enjoy his company without feeling something. He felt pathetic.

So, he assumed a small cup of Moose Tracks would cheer him up.

And then, he noticed you in the corner, a hysterical mess over your empty milkshake cup. He really could not escape you. If he wanted to get over his feelings, he would have to never, ever leave his apartment... ever. But he couldn’t leave you like this, not in the drunken state you were in. He wanted to make sure you would get home safely.

So, he asked, “can I get you home safely?”

You had been staring at the TV behind him, reacting to everything the Star Trek characters said even though the volume was down and the closed captions were on. And, you were still crying, though none of the customers (or employees for that matter) cared. At least he cared.

You grinned through the waterfall of tears flowing down your cheeks. You looked a little bit like a raccoon, but a cute raccoon nevertheless. “Luke Hemmemememmings!” you exclaimed, taking his free hand in yours. “My savior! My milkshake is a-all gone!” You began to pout, but you had stopped crying.

He wasn’t going to ask you how you knew it was him despite being curious. That wasn’t his goal right now. “Come on, darlin’. I’ll get you another soon.”

You gasped as he stood you up. “Luke Hemmemmemmings called me darling!” You beamed up at him before unexpectedly cuddling into his chest. You raced out of the small shop a quick second later, him hot on your tail to make sure you wouldn’t accidentally run into traffic.

Luke didn’t like this side of you. He liked when you smelled of fresh flowers, not of alcohol.

“Lu, Lu!” you shouted through the quiet night. The town had already put up the holiday lights, and though he admired the way they reflected in your eyes, he didn’t like your dull, glazed over expression. “Chri-mas! ‘m gonna get you a big gift this year.”

“C’mon, darling,” he said, taking your arm while you chewed lazily on the straw of your empty milkshake cup. “Lead the way. Wanna make sure you get home okay.”

You leaned into him again, and he assumed it was for warmth, not because you maybe liked the close proximity. “Love of my fuckin’ life,” you whispered into his puffy jacket. “Can I try your glasses on?” You tripped slightly over the curb, but he caught you.

“Briefly,” he answered as he slipped them off with his right hand. “I use them to see.”

Your smile grew. “Really? Thought you used them to make you look more handsome,” you murmured singingly.

Luke’s brain chose to ignore that, but his heart didn’t. His chest physically hurt because of how fast his heart was beating. And his cheeks, though crazy chilly, were definitely beet red.

“How do I look?” you asked, your goofy smile somehow growing even bigger if that were possible. You hadn’t cried since you saw him walk in the ice cream shop.

He chuckled. You looked real damn cute, so he said, “real damn cute.”

That made you giggle.

Your apartment was just down the block from his, and you let him lead you up the stairs so he could say goodnight in the warmth. He didn’t expect you to invite him in, but he did have to use the bathroom, so he gladly accepted your invitation.

Everything had a place in your apartment. Your bathroom sink was neatly organized, and your towels were folded evenly in a basket by the shower. It even smelled like roses, and that drove him slightly wild. You were too perfect, but he was too head over heels, and you were too drunk tonight.

“Lu!” you shouted gleefully as he stepped out of the bathroom. You latched yourself onto him, arms around his shoulders so you could nuzzle your face into his neck. He took a moment to reciprocate the hug, letting his own arms meet around your waist as he pulled you closer. He tried to stop thinking about how well you fit against him. And then, you pulled away. For that split second, he craved your touch again, but you hadn’t read his mind in the right way. You pressed your cold lips onto his, and everything about the kiss was stiff and wrong. You were too intoxicated.

He pushed you away gently by the hips. The frown that etched its way onto his lips only pulled itself deeper down his cheeks. Luke wanted you, but not like this.

“I’m– “ you hiccupped and fell back against the hallway wall. “’m so sorry.”

All he could do was nod. “You gonna be okay?” He wasn’t going to be. You had kissed him, but he couldn’t make note of your intentions.

You nodded, too.

“I’ll see you soon,” he said as he made his way towards the door.

“My name’s Y/N.”

He hadn’t even been aware that he didn’t know your name. He smiled at you and opened your front door, “night, Y/N.”

-

“Caramel Macchiato,” he said, setting it down onto the table before you. “Just how you like it.”

Luke noticed you at your normal table, sat the way you always chose to sit: your knees pressed against your chest as you read a book he saw you reading three months prior. You looked good, almost too good for someone who had been in an almost complete mental breakdown a week beforehand. But maybe you were that good at pretending. Or, maybe you truly were okay.

You gasped, gazing up at him with the prettiest eyes he had ever seen. He had seen your eyes plenty of times, and most often they were full of anguish and pain, but not today. Today, you appeared genuinely happy to see him. “Stop doing nice things for me,” you mumbled as a smile grew on your cheeks. “I only act like a complete and total idiot around you.”

He shrugged as he took his place in the seat across from you. “You’re fine, darlin’.”

You chuckled. “Darling. Hey, I’m sorry– a-about the other night. I was fucked, and you just– “

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” you said before moving your books to the opposite end of the table. This gave you the opportunity to lean your elbows onto the wooden surface. “I kissed you, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I don’t– I don’t act like that, but you just... are so pretty.”

Luke raised an eyebrow, and he nearly failed at remaining cool and composed as a stinging blush spread up his chest and onto his cheeks. “How– how’d you know who I was?” he questioned, peering out the window briefly. When he looked back at you, your features tightened into a confused expression, but they relaxed soon after.

“Oh, I– uh... I had my suspicions. I looked you up right away.” You shrugged. “I just knew I’d meet you. I’m still kinda embarrassed I said all of those things. You probably think I’m a big dork, huh?”

He shook his head. “No,” he laughed. “I would call you a big dork because of other things, but not because of that. I was actually flattered. It really made me feel good.” Aside from the fact that you admitted that no one knew him. He wouldn’t mention that.

“That makes me really happy,” you mumbled into your sweater-covered hands. The dark green brought out the many colors in your eyes. “And, I’m for sure attracted to you for more reasons other than the fact that you’re Luke Hemmings, but– “

“What?”

“What?”

Luke grinned. “You’re attracted to me?”

“What?” you repeated, and this time, he could tell you were blushing. “Me? No, no, no, never said that.” You hid further into your hands, but that didn’t help your case.

“’s’fine,” he replied. He was about to lose his damn mind. “I’m attracted to you, too, darling.”

Maybe you weren’t a misconnection after all.

just a few tags ! hope u don’t mind!

@lilhemmo @morningfears @jpgcal @cakestan @dankpunks @dammitbands @lukeskisses

[codevassie]

CV: Heck yeah you can suggest shatt! This ask was so much fun to write for, though apparently I don’t know how to write pranking?? lol but it was a learning experience. Thank you for your awesome request and I hope you enjoy!!

“Takashi Shirogane?”

“Yes, Matthew Holt?”

“Would you do the honor of putting this pathetic student out of his miserable existence?”

“Hmm…” Shiro hummed, studying a paper with interest. “No, I'm afraid I'm all booked in terms of scheduling.”

Matt huffed. “Shiro, I know all you're doing for the rest of the day is grading.”

“Yep,” Shiro answered simply and Matt groaned, flopping across the table dramatically, spreading his arms over to ruffle Shiro's many papers. As a TA, he was always surrounded by them.

“So you would rather look over these little goblins’ papers then put your poor, poor friend out of his misery?”

“Mmmhmm,” Shiro confirmed. He was trying to play it cool, but Matt could see the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. It was time to lay it on extra thick.

“Shiiiiroooo,” he whined in the most pathetically annoying way possible. Shiro looked up from the paper, red pen still poised for critiquing. “Please, I'm dying over here.”

Shiro chuckled, putting down his pen. “If you're dying already, why have me do it?”

“It's called mercy,” Matt sat up. He started to collect his own textbook and papers, shoving them into his bag. “And it's time to go award some flight students theirs.”

“Matt, no. Leave the poor sufferers alone,” Shiro pleaded, but Matt was already standing and swinging his bag across his shoulders.

“No can do, Kashi,” Matt said, catching the flush across Shiro's face at the nickname. Matt loved that color on Shiro's face. Matt loved Shiro's face. “One sufferer to another, this is for the best. I'm dropping my stuff at my dorm. Meet me in hall F if you're joining.”

“I have too much work,” Shiro continued to plead, but Matt could already sense his defenses crumbling. “It's midterm season.”

Matt was already walking away. Over his shoulder he called, “F Hall!” before darting out of the study room and to the dormitories.

-/-

Matt took his time knowing that Shiro would at least finish with the paper he was on before following, so, by the time he got to F Hall, Shiro was already there, waiting.

When Shiro saw him coming down the hall, he immediately crossed his arms. “Are we meeting here because of the sound system, or is that just a coincidence?” he asked, looking amused. Matt walked up to him and shrugged his shoulders, smirking.

“Oh, that's weird. Must be coincidence.”

“What are you up to?” Shiro asked, squinting at him like he could uncover all his secrets as simply as reading them across his face.

“Follow me,” Matt suggested, and walked past. When they stopped in front of the locked door to the room where they kept the old sound system, Matt held out his hand to Shiro. “Key.”

“You think I have a key to this place?” Shiro asked. “I'm a TA.”

Matt didn't retract his hand. Shiro sighed.

When Matt had unlocked the door with Shiro's key, he handed it back and walked in, heading straight for the tall contraption. Shiro followed, taking in the room much more leisurely.

“Shiro, help me pick out a song,” Matt called, and Shiro walked over. Sitting next to the sound system on the floor, the scrolled through Matt's phone.

“No, not that one,” Matt rejected, then clicked on another song. Shiro wrinkled his nose.

“No,” he rejected this time. “What about-”

“Maybe. Or-”

“Hm, I guess. But what about-”

For a while, they sat there going through Matt's music library, the clock ticking away unawares. Maybe they would have been more worried about getting caught if not for the absolute chaos that was midterms. No one paid a lick of attention, even at a military type school like this, during times like this.

But they were running out of time to play for the flight students, who would be getting out of class in another ten minutes. Finally, Matt had to put his foot down.

“We've gotta pick something.”

Shiro just laughed. Matt loved Shiro's laugh. “You're the indecisive one here.”

“Then you pick something!” Matt whined and Shiro laughed again. He plucked the phone from Matt's grip and clicked a song.

“There,” he said, handing it back. Matt looked at it.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Shiro said. Matt sighed, then stood up to plug it into the system. After that, it was simple enough to boot up and reroute to the flight simulation deck. He cranked the volume, then, before pressing play, opened up another app on his phone where he had hacked into the security feeds so they could watch the reception of their gift.

Once Matt punched the play button, the reaction was almost instantaneous.

You could see it had worked by the slight jolt that rippled throughout the class. Eyes widened, backs straightened, heads swiveled as if looking for the source of the noise. The instructor had a suspicious look in her eye, as if trying to suss out which of her students was messing with her.

They had turned it on just as a team left the simulation too, who immediately looked relieved to have the attention drawn away. Matt noticed Keith among them, looking less relieved like the students and more suspicious like the teacher. He stood awkwardly next to the two others, arms crossed and eyes narrowed at the ceiling where the speakers lay.

However, it seemed the rest of the class were slipping out of their surprise now, and coming to their senses. And that was when the dancing started.

“Whoo!” Matt cheered, bumping his shoulder with Shiro's and moving to the beat. Shiro chuckled and swatted at his arm, still looking at the screen. The instructor was wearing a severe frown. The group from the simulation had moved back to their peers, some dancing themselves. Keith was smirking now, looking on but not necessarily joining.

Shiro looked up and Matt put the phone down. He spun on the heel of his foot and hollered again. “Let's dance!”

And they danced together, bopping to the beat and laughing when they tried out ridiculous moves. Shiro did a weird roll with his body, then pointed at Matt. Matt did the sprinkler, then grabbed Shiro's hand so they could do a really small, really lame wave.

Matt loved Shiro's lame dancing.

As the song came to an end, Matt looked back at the screen and noticed the simulation deck had all but been evacuated. His stomach dropped.

“Shit, we've got to get out of here!”

Shiro's eyeballs nearly popped out of his head as the realization came to him too, and, while Matt quickly grabbed his phone, Shiro whipped out his key. When they darted into the hall Matt yelled to just leave it when Shiro tried to lock back up the door and they scrambled down the hall.

“I hear footsteps,” Shiro hissed, grabbing Matt's hand and stopping them abruptly. Sure enough, the sound was rapidly increasing up the hall where they were heading. “In here!” Shiro exclaimed and, before Matt could tell where they were going, he was yanked into a dark, tight space.

“Is this-” Matt asked, trying to catch his breath from running. “Is this a storage closet?”

“Did you have a better idea?”

Matt wasn't sure what to say back to that, because, no, he hadn't had a better idea, but he was going to say something until he heard footsteps running past the door. He stiffened, the tension rippling through the air as they waited for them to pass.

Then, they broke out laughing, bending over and clutching at each other's shoulders, breathing fast and hard from the running and, now, laughing. Matt could only see a vague outline of Shiro, illuminated by only the fullest light from the bottom crack of the door. He was looking at him, strangely calm and serene.

“What?” he asked. Shiro quickly looked away.

“Nothing.”

“Shirooo,” Matt whined, as was customary for him. He poked his friend in the side. “Tell meee.”

But, when Shiro looked back, Matt could tell something was different. Something had shifted - between them, between the mood. There was enough light for Matt to notice a fine red painting Shiro's cheekbones, and a look in his eye.

They were silent then, both afraid to break whatever tension laid between them. Matt remembered, with horrible attention, how close they were, and felt his own cheeks redden. His breaths came out uneven.

“Can I-” Shiro said, finally breaking the silence. “Can I kiss you?”

Matt sucked in a breath. It was as if the world stood still.

Then-

“Yes,” Matt said, voice wobbly, but never more certain of anything in his life.

It was perhaps the slowest, most intense experience of Matt's life, waiting for that kiss. But, if it had taken years, Matt would have waited a thousand more. When they kissed, it lasted a lifetime and an eternity. Shiro cupped his cheek. Matt put his hands on Shiro's shoulder, traveling to hold him closer by the neck. Matt loved Shiro's lips.

When they broke away, Matt felt more disoriented than when he'd originally been tugged into that dark closet. He still stood close, not yet releasing Shiro from his hold or himself from that gaze. He loved that gaze.

Then, he pulled himself down from his tiptoes.  He smiled, a devilish sort.

“Wow, you're not half bad there,” he said, sort of out of breath. He cleared his throat, a bit embarrassed.

“You were great,” Shiro admitted, much more truthfully, but just as out of breath. Matt felt his whole body warm; he felt as if he was glowing from the inside out. He smacked Shiro playfully.

“Alright, Kashi,” he said, but drew closer again, standing on his toes.

When they kissed again, Matt knew one thing.

He loved Shiro.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020: BRIT AWARDS SPECIAL

So, welcome to... a Tuesday? Yeah, it’s not exactly a usual time for me to post on this blog but it’s not just your everyday episode of REVIEWING THE CHARTS – That’s right, it’s the 40th ceremony in the annual BRIT Awards celebration, where we – or at least ITV – commemorate the greatest in British pop music. I’ll be celebrating in full force this year, but not by tweeting manically like I did last year – well, there will still be some tweeting; follow me @cactusinthebank – but instead by writing my live commentary right here. I did this a couple years back so I figured I’d bring it back again in traditional, over-analytical, unnecessarily nitpicky fashion. I’ve got an Excel document like I had last year to make not of who wins and compare it to who I think should win. I’m all prepared – it’s time for the 2020 BRIT Awards... unfortunately hosted by Jack Whitehall.

COMMENTARY

Interestingly (This is 10 minutes before the show begins), the International Group Award, Best British Video, Outstanding Contribution to Music and Global Success Awards have been abolished, and British Breakthrough Act, Critics’ Choice Award and British Single of the Year have all been renamed. Also, the BRITs caught flack for less female artists being nominated although last year there was a record amount nominated so I feel like sexism claims can’t really ring all that true in my opinion. It does often seem like male artists have dominated that year of pop music, just as it feel female artists have the previous year, and the BRITs have noticed that, so it just feels a tad lop-sided towards the males this year. I’m playing Devil’s advocate, sure, and I wouldn’t say 2019 has been a bad year for British women in music, but I am able to somewhat defend this decision. I feel like I’d just say that as a little pre-amble. In fact, I’ll add this: this will be less formal and grammatically correct than a normal RTC episode, and perhaps a bit less wholesome or family-friendly. Also, if none of this makes any sense, that’s because it’s out of context completely, and this will make absolutely no sense unless you’re watching it with me or had watched it prior to reading this, but that’s the joy in this! Scorecard at the ready, 19:58, it’s the BRITs in two minutes, and I am prepared to make fun of every issue I pick out.

Jack Whitehall is so unfunny lol Like Haha She Is Cleaning Lizzo Flute But He Look Like Masturbate Ha Ha

I feel like they did not know what they should do for this year

The intro with him trying out iconic BRIT Awards outfits is kinda cool actually

I wonder how far into the future they plan for these. Like are these skits pre-recorded by three months or so

Mabel didn’t really hit that note huh

I won’t really be paying attention to this one because I’m filling out scorecard and all to update it for this year but Mabel is less energetic than she was on the Graham Norton Show months ago

Can’t tell if Don’t Call Me Up has soured on me a lot or this is just a bad performance. Probably the latter

Is this the vocal loop from Mad Love or something I don’t recognise it

Nevermind I’m so dumb it’s from Don’t Call Me Up

The telephone on the screen Because Ha Ha She Says Call Me Up is a bit on the nose

I don’t think they realise she also has a song called Ring Ring

“Please welcome your host Jack Whitehall” No go away

Audience did not like the Boris Johnson joke or even the Chris Martin one lol this gnarly dude is BOMBING

Rod Stewart has eight children what the f

“Horny scarecrow of rock and roll Ronnie Wood” I hope that is on his CV

“A bit of witty banter from Dave” Jack Whitehall Shouted Out The TV Channel Dave

Lewis Capaldi – Someone You Loved genuinely makes me want to eat a living frog this live version is better though he’s not straining that much

I saw a BBC News piece on a boy with cancer and this was used in the background and I understand it’s a sad, sappy piano ballad but it’s literally just about a break up like that’s a tad unfitting and kinda undermines the illness and tragedy surely

Niall Horan looks SO infused

The production value for these little transitions seems to have improved it actually looks cool and not dated garbage

Lewis Capaldi will win Best New Artist

Lewis Capaldi won Best New Artist

It’s his first BRIT Award but what’s the point in celebrating he’s gonna win like seven more

Dude is coming up to the stage with a bottle of beer in his hand bruh

I bet this dude is going to be the Adele and just get drunk and swear every time he gets an award

He hugged Niall Horan for a concerning amount of time

The audience chanted ‘DOWN IT DOWN IT’ he did not down it

He just shouted profanities into the mic after 40 seconds of delaying it, but the audio was muted so I have no idea why Jack Whitehall Loves This Man

Lewis Capaldi’s music and personality clash so hard like I saw an advert of this man making funny faces set to Someone You Loved and it was so odd

That advert played right after the BRITs by the way lol

Why is Lewis Capaldi on another advert singing Someone You Loved again like stop stop stop pelase i ccant getsv awytsuavforrnjeofityre

JHE’S BACK FOR ANOTHER ADVERT GO AWAY YOU DRUNKEN IDIOT

Why would Mastercard proudly sponsor this sh

How the hell is FKA twigs nominated for best female artist like cool and all her album was good but Huh

I guess they put one alternate win each time

Mabel will win Best Female Solo Artist

Mabel won Best Female Solo Artist

Oh yeah I forgot people actually make speeches

“There are so many amazing women in this category” Mabel Listens To FKA Twigs

Don’t thank your record label they are crooks

I forget that Mabel is Neneh Cherry’s daughter that’s wild. Neneh Cherry won a BRIT too, I think this same award. Cool. Neat.

Jack Whitehall’s sarcasm and dryer wit is not exactly the best fit for the BRITs. For once I miss Ant & Dec

Harry Styles Is Literally Wearing Pajamas

This is an ok song and with actually good vocal mixing it’s better but he does sound a bit off. He did get robbed before the awards happened though lol

I am sick of guys singing ballads with a e s t h e t i c backgrounds like can we get some volcano eruptions up in this

The Rising Star and British Producer Awards (new awards) were already given out I feel like cheating

Literally the only nomination for the British Producer of the Year was fred

He won

Another break bruh bruh bruh give me a break

Harry Styles’ Pajamas Are Wet Now He Was Standing In Water

Little simz is on an advert afterwards with an amazing song from her amazing album but she’s not nominated for any award

Im so tired like this shit is keeping me awake last year i fell asleep during a jess glynne performance

Liam payne performed a month before the ceremony and his album fell 31 places on the chart in response

Jack Whitehall called himself a lanky streak of piss this man might get an Ofcom Complaint

Lizzo’s really pushing that title track huh

Lizzo didn’t censor herself on the Grammys but her breathy ‘uh’s are making some lines unintelligible lol

This is a good song though

LOL SHE STOPPED FOR THE AUDIENCE TO CONTINUE HER SENTENCE BUT NOBODY SAID THE LINE YIKES

I guess she forgot Truth Hurts didn’t even peak in the top 20 here

Good as Hell is the one people here care about

She knows that they didn’t respond in Truth Hurts because she said ‘sing along if you know it’ lol

She kinda messed up but to be fair she is walking and singing with the audience

That White Guy With The Crap Hair Killed It

Drummer is going wild

I love the extra guitar flourishes in Juice this is pretty cool actually, her interpolating Cause I Love You at the same time is pretty epic this actually sounds pretty great I’d love for this whole medley to be on streaming

She yelled ‘biiitch’ but the mic did not catch that

Ronnie Wood Really Got The Positive Vibes

Lewis Capaldi will win Best Male Solo Artist

(Michael Kiwanuka got like no applause god damn at least give them pity applause)

ROIGHT and tha winna ***upside down*** is STRORMZY

Stormzy won Best Male Solo Artist

(Second time by the way)

Clean version of Vossi Bop kinda slap Ngl

Stormzy TOWERS over Ronnie Wood lol dude is tall

“Um.”

“Best Male is nothing without incredible females” Cool cool

Ronnie is about to tell Stormzy why he thinks he should go back to his own country and that He’s Not Actually Racist

(Those allegations are baseless. My lawyers advised me to say so.)

Jack Whitehall touched audience feet

We’re already nearly an hour in wow

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY ADVERT BREAKS

Yes Yes

Hell yeah dave is awesome, he got his Top Boy co-star to work as a hype man before him

I think this is Black? If so that’s amazing I love that song

It’s Black he has it written on his white piano

The only white piano is slowly turning more black

I like the headlines and all the imagery on the piano it’s really cool

Dave is a tad off beat but he’s also playing a double-sided piano so understandable

A white dude is playing the other side of the piano I’m sure that’s symbolic

He is aggressive in this delivery damn he’s killing it

Some of this imagery is beautiful – especially the BRIT Award being covered by black snakes and the Arabic writing transitioning into an Africa with colonial borders

This was an amazing performance, especially with the violins. Incredible.

OH THERE’S ANOTHER VERSE ABOUT BORIS JOHNSON

The least racist is still racist damn right

This works as an obituary as well damn.

I’d have to analyse this whole thing but this was an incredible performance oh my god

I want this on streaming

When did this man help a terrorist plot wh

Paloma Faith Sounds Like A Robot Who Is Vaguely Feminist

Burna Boy will win International Male Solo Artist

(I so want Tyler to go home with it though. Could go to Post as well)

It’s just whoever shows up gets it though so

WHOA

WHAT THE HELL

TYLER THE CREATOR WON HOW

TAHT IS AMSGWYUFE

THE RADIO HOST SAID IGOR WRONG BUT ITS OK TYLER WON

Tyler, The Creator won International Male Solo Artist

This gnarly dude just said ‘errr yeah errr’

“Shout out to all the British funk from the 80s I try to copy”

LOL THE THERESA MAY CALL OUT HAHAH

I FORGOT HE WASNT ALLOWED IN THE UK

Bts is not a british group, presenter

Coldplay will win Best British Group

Foals won Best British Group

I am actually so surprised lol at Tyler and Foals winning their first BRITs

More alternative dudes winning I guess. Neat. Means a lot

Stop thanking your corrupt labels

The name’s eyelash

I haven’t actually heard her Bond theme yet

Finneas do be lookin kinda handsome tho

I like it. The whispery tone of her voice, the eerie strings (cello?), and slick guitar really fit the Bond franchise. Thank you Billie Eilish, very cool!

No Don’t Talk To Lizzo Don’t Talk To Anyone Jack Whitehall

“There was so much energy they could have done the whole performance for me” well not exactly mrs. Lizzo

This is so awkward we can’t hear what Lizzo is laughing at Harry Styles looks pissed

‘floutists’ is the name for flute players huh

I’m so confused what is going on

Lizzo is threatening jack Whitehall with a flute and within the transition to the break i could hear a slight faint shout from jack in the background

Is everyone ok

More people that i wanted to win than who i expected to win are winning

Sam Fender is haha funnie but nobody in the audience thinks so lol

Celeste is performing she’s the new Rising Star award she has already had a bit of a crack but I’m pretty sure that’s part of the song

This song is ok

Bit boring tbh. Audience is getting tired too. This is lasting like 5 minutes and the song is pretty flavourless and repetitive. Yawn snore

We’re about half way through and I’ve kind of lost interest ngl

Honestly lewis capaldi did better than celeste on jah

Jack Whitehall is having a mental breakdown right now. Understandable

Billie Eilish will win International Female Solo Artist

Billie Eilish won International Female Solo Artist

Lizzo looks so disappointed for whatever reason lol like did we really think anyone else would get this award

Sporty Spice is in the background dancing to everything i wanted that is not a song you dance like that to it’s about suicide

This speech is going terribly

Why are so many of these gnarly dudes signed to polydor

Thank you Billie Eilish very cool

No Jack Whitehall Don’t Talk To Harry Styles

Harry Styles looks like he hates Jack Whitehall so much

The Lizzo-Harry-Jack Whitehall love triangle is Awkward And Awful

Lizzo is the only reason the brit awards are good

Ok the exchange about Harry Styles not being taken seriously was pretty funny

In fact this whole exchange was very funny And Partially About Incest

“Is one of these lucky ladies your date?” “That’s my sister”

Lizzo is chugging the tequila

Harry Styles Looks Like He Pissed Himself

The BRIT awards have suddenly become very confusing

Epic Stormzy Time

Genuinely have no idea what song he’ll perform. Probably Vossi Bop?

Stormzy Should Keep The Singing To His Backing Vocalist And Choir

Gospel beat sounds sweet

I think this is supposed to be Lessons but the studio version is so much duller than this version. This one is pretty cool. I think it’s the choir

I’d be surprised if he only does Lessons. Also the production value here was crazy. Full band, pyrotechnics and all.

Oh yeah it’s Vossi Bop time he’s got the red lighting

Nevermind it’s Wiley Flow lol but still

Reminds me of when Kanye did All Day (also the audio got muted for a long period of time just like when Kanye did that)

This one is more choreographed though lol

Why did he perform two of the least popular songs first though

Burna Boy is coming out for Own It alright, he sounds just as good as studio, probably because He’s Not Actually Singing

I don’t like this song but the choreography is great, stage presence is good and the visuals are incredible. Really shows that even with the worst material, you can make a song sound as lively as ever. The horns the live band added to Own It sound beautiful

Burna Boy’s little solo bit was great

He got away with saying “Sucking on their mums” nice

I hadn’t heard Rainfall before this I don’t think (it sounds familiar though), but the mashup with Praise You was great. I love the sight of Stormzy in front of family members, the young men in black outfits from Wiley Flow, the tropical clothes-bearing women from Own It, Burna Boy, the live band, and all. It’s really a nice diverse sight to see. Cool cool. This probably means absolutely nothing but I Am Knackered

Someone You Loved will win Song of the Year

I really hope it’s Ladbroke Grove though. It and Location feel very emblematic of 2019, in a way that I Don’t Care by Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber DEFINITELY isn’t

Someone You Loved won Song of the Year

“Biggest winner of the night so far” there’s only one award left mate

Lewis Capaldi Is A Very Funny Man

“Thanks to my grandmother for dying”

Finneas do be lookin kinda handsome tho [2]

Heard a very british voice say “i luv yoo bilie” in the audience lmao

Lewis Capaldi will win Album of the Year

I’d prefer literally anyone else to win this award. Only one of these albums was a 7/10 or above but Lewis Capaldi’s album was unlistenable

OH HELL YEAH THE ONLY GOOD ONE WON

Dave won Album of the Year

Epic I love that album. It could very well have been Capaldi but since Dave won the Mercury Prize I guess he would have been a better prediction

People are screaming man’s lost for words

“Jesus Christ!” dude’s so astonished lol

I loved Dave’s speech actually very inspiring

“Jack, I’m gonna do this one for your mum, Hilary” bruh  rod stewart really saying ‘ur mom’ jokes out here

I love Rod Stewart’s raspy voice man. Orchestra’s great. This is beautiful lol

Gnarly dude got the guitar solo

Conclusion

I cannot be bothered to write some massive conclusion but most of the performances were great and emotionally powerful, especially Stormzy, Dave, Billie and Rod Stewart, and even those who were a bit crap performing were very funny on stage, like Lewis Capaldi. The on stage banter was really cringe-worthy but Jack Whitehall, Harry Styles and Lizzo had this really funny triangle going on. The outro with Ronnie Wood and the rest of Rod Stewart’s band was great, Stormzy’s extended performance was sweet. This was actually a pretty great BRITs, to be honest, and all of the winners, except a select few, deserved it, and if they didn’t, it was pretty expected. There could have been some more winners – off the top of my head, Slowthai and Little Simz weren’t even nominated, but hey, Tyler won. That’s great. The scorecard will be on Twitter. In the words of the BRIT Award winners in 2020, “errr yeah errr”, and thanks for reading!

REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020

[loving-jack-kelly]

Newsies Boyband AU!

Now first of all I would call them the Newsboys but like...that’s a real band that exists so idk what their name would be

But anyway! Boybands! Fun and cute and lots of wiggle room!

Crutchie

lead singer

beloved by his bandmates and by most fans but every once in awhile there’s that one fan

Idk I just think Charlie is overrated....he can’t sing that well, Jack has a nicer voice, and I think he only gets to sing lead because of his leg :/ I’m not ableist or anything, I just don’t like him

Mostly Crutchie ignores things like that but once in awhile he wonders if they’re true

Jack

lead guitar/harmonies

very much the Hot Onetm but people tend to overlook his talents

designed the logo and does all of the shirts and album covers but doesn’t make that public knowledge

the Crutchie Bashers usually use Jack as an excuse and Jack is having none of it he’s a master vague tweeter

I love all my bandmates and everyone is perfectly suited to what they do, from lights to vocals!

I feel like people forget Crutch and I have been best friends since fifth grade and I have videos like this cause if they didn’t they’d ask for more [video of Crutchie singing The Wizard and I at a middle school talent show]

he loves singing harmony, and only sings lead if somebody makes him. two songs in their repertoire include him on melody

Race

the drummer

(haha guess who still likes EYDW with all his heart?)

he’s the Wild Onetm but everyone adores him because he’s cute and funny

Racetrack Higgins Highlights:

“So I was like, fuck it-wait shit I can’t swear in interviews-fuck! Dammit, sorry, I-” “Race just stop talking”

he broke a snare during a concert once and put it on his head like a hat

pictures of him kissing everyone in the band, on crew, and even fans on the cheek but it’s because that’s what he does. In Italy. That’s how you greet people. and it just carried over

always wears a necklace with a shark tooth. gazes into the distance when asked where it was from and responds with, “I’ll never forget her.” Actually bought it Wings on a day off in North Carolina

changes hair colors every other week. fans go to two concerts in two days. first one he has bright red hair. next day it’s bright blue.

slowly acquiring more piercing until one day they’re all gone.

“Lmao you though those were real? I cried when I got a single ear piercing.”

then people think his tattoo is fake and it isn’t but it’s ridiculous. like literally the word “THOT” on the back of his neck. Spot dared him to.

so people love him even though he’s wild

Spot

designs sound for recordings and live shows

most fans only know him as the one goading Race on

but once in a while somebody recognizes him in the sound booth and is like “ahh, that’s who he is”

also secretly write lyrics sometimes but asks to be credited as “Sam Carlson” so his poetic writing doesn’t ruin his tough guy image

which makes people think of all these crazy theories as to who Sam Carlson is and why he writes songs randomly for the band

is the only reason Race hasn’t gotten lost on tour in a gas station

is the one who set up the Walkie Talkie system that keeps everyone organized

the star of Jack’s snapchat story half the time but never caught doing anything strange? people just know he’s awesome and says funny things

is the one who adopted the cat and resulted in him being named Asshole but it was an accident

Katherine and Sarah

managers and lighting designers

really cool and really gay

every time they’re doing a show around a Pride parade time or during Pride month there are rainbows and other flags everywhere

Sarah is also in charge of PR after the Incident of Race accidentally DMing a fan who’s username included Jack’s name something along the lines of “sup fuckface where are you everyone else is here and you’re the one who said he was bringing the good stuff”

by good stuff he’d simply meant the Purple Doritos but the fan didn’t know that and it took a while for people to let that go

People think Jack and Kat are dating for a long time because they’re always together

it literally took like fifty pictures of Kat and Saz kissing before people stopped denying how gay she was

Davey

plays bass but also violin and other related string instruments

sometimes sings a third part but not usually

people don’t give him much credit until there’s a new song

which starts out really slow and is only Jack singing and Davey playing cello but mid song it picks up and Dave changes instruments really fast like in the space of one beat to violin and goes really hard and the song tops the charts for weeks because it’s like crazy good

“yeah I’m a classically trained violinist, I just usually have more fun on bass” “...” “but i like that song a lot, most times I’m on violin it’s slow and boring”

that song is also when most of the Crutchie Bashing started because it was the first really popular one that featured Jack on melody since only Jack sang

Their shows are legendary for being good like the vocals the instrumentals everything is always good

they got their start in college where Crutchie got them into one of the theatres and it was just for fun

but Race, the wild one even in the very beginning, realized that they were actually really good and signed them up for some show like America’s Got Talent or something like that

and while they didn’t win overall, they did get enough attention to get a record deal

and then they just EXPLODED and became the new big thing

which kind of freaked all of them out a little bit because what has started as fun music with friends was suddenly paparazzi and crazy fans and people wanting to know “when is it what is it where is it how are you will you” about their songs

but they mostly acclimated pretty fast

Crutchie had the hardest time because while he’s friendly he’s also a but of an introvert and needs his privacy which was suddenly a lot harder to find

like most boybands, instantly there were Those Fans who shipped people

the most common one became Jack and Race because they seemed like the ones most likely to like each other

really though it was Spot and Race, who balanced each other out, and Jack and Crutchie, who’d been in love for years and only figure it out when people started trying to ship Jack and Race which made Crutchie really jealous, and the people who nobody knew as well like Specs and Romeo, Kat and Saz (at first they became better known later), etc

they get a really good rep with people because they’re always willing to take a selfie or like fanart as long as it isn’t creepy, or answer questions

Jack hosts monthly Q&A sessions on his snapchat and each time it’s somebody new

so like the first one is Crutchie, then Davey, then Race, then Katherine, then Sarah, the Romeo, etc

They don’t come out for a long time but one day they’re performing in a town where there's this big news story about a gay kid getting harassed at school and they know the kid is there because it was the only positive thing they found on his twitter, so they all come out together like the entire band and crew

“So we’ve heard about some of the stuff that’s been going on here, and we want everyone to know that we don’t agree with it, at all. In fact, things like that effect us, too. I’m not the most eloquent speaker, but if you’re hurting today because of who you are, of how you’re born, know that you’ll always have support with us.”

And Jack kisses Crutchie in public for the first time which leads to Race stealing Crutchie’s mic and yelling something about “get up here asshat we can’t let him show us up!” and then suddenly every single couple involved in the band is on stage being proud of who they are

the kid who was getting bullied cried and then they invited him backstage and he cried more and it was really sweet and they stayed in touch

After that the Discoursetm is horrible around them for like, months

“reminder that Jack is dating Crutchie and shipping him with Race is not cool”

“reminder that we can ship whoever we want with whoever we want and it doesn’t cause harm”

“stop calling Jack bi when he’s gay, don’t erase his identity” (jack retweets it with the added caption “I’m bi as heck actually everyone is pretty and it’s not fair :)”

“they’re just faking it for attention!!!1!!1″

after a few years they announce it’s their last tour and people are like “oh no, what happened, did people start fighting?”

and their answer is “no but we’re like twenty eight now and honestly just want to get married and settle down”

except for Spot and Race who plan on going around the world in eighty days and then getting a dog and doing it again with the dog

or at least, that Race’s plan, Spot just honestly wants to stop moving around and settle down a bit, but maybe not get married yet

So the band breaks up and people are kinda sad but every time they’re all in one place, which is pretty often since they’re all best friends, somebody snapchat/instagram/twitter/youtube gets a new video of them messing around

Jack and Davey out out a solo album and it’s really good

Crutchie gets coerced into releasing a Christmas album and it’s funny

and Davey makes a Hanukkah album that’s him playing and singing traditional songs that he sang growing up and it’s gorgeous

Bonus: Red Carpet Tidbits

because I have a lot of feelings about Crutchie’s style

Crutchie gets known for never wearing a normal tux like it’s always custom done and never just black or navy

also his makeup is always On Point like crazy good and people are like “tell us your secrets” and he’s like “lol cvs and years of practice and makeup tutorials from YouTube”

Jack wears normal suites but there’s always a twist

the first was the time he actually just spilled paint on himself in the suit bc he’s an idiot but there wasn’t time for a new one so they ended up just going with it and it looked pretty okay

and after that he get’s suites from like Macy’s modified to look better on him and to add cool things

also his hat game is pretty terrific

he’s also a total hipster and people know it

Davey wears totally normal red carpet men’s attire but lets Crutchie do his makeup and look absolutely gorgeous

Race wears crazy stuff

like you know the Great Comet ensemble costume design? probably things like that. formal wear turned into punk style things and he pulls it off and lets Crutchie do his makeup too

the best picture of the band is from like, the Grammys or some award show like that where Crutchie is in a purple suit, Jack is wearing a beanie and a jackson pollock styled color splashed suit, dave is looking fine in a perfectly normal suit and SUPER Extra but good makeup, and Race is like barely clothed but still obviously supposed to be wearing a suit like thing and like a foot shorter than everyone

[remembermemorablememories]

Monday, January 14, 2019

post #371

main points:

- help move some stuff with kitchen renovations

- snack on banana and tofurky as lunch

- played some fortnite in a cool creative mode map to practice aim build and edits

- doctor’s appointment at 3

- stop by wawa for chicken sandwich dinner + wrap for tomorrow’s lunch

- stop by CVS to pick up prescription from doctor

- watch “my ex-boyfriend” in chinese

- write sameer rec, apartment search and briefly help sheena with calc

- play smash with jwoos, jacob chilling, doug joined us later on

today i:

- woke up at 11am and lazed in bed for a bit. around 11:30am my dad came home to help the guy renovating our kitchen move the counter since it was granite and heavy. one of the biggest pieces they needed three people so they called me down to help. i quickly got changed and the three of us moved it to the garage. then the guy moved the remaining 3 pieces while we stood by to watch/help if he needed

- since he was doing construction in the kitchen i just ate a banana and the last few slices of tofurky as my lunch. LOL

- i played fortnite for like an hour and a half on a creative mode from here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_dDaiNmYRs

i saw this as a great opportunity to practice. and i sucked LOL. i feel like i was kind of decent but... still pretty slow. i tried to change my edit key to space and then jump to mouse wheel down like in counter strike. but then i realized i couldn’t deploy the parachute cause of some glitch if i binded jump to mouse wheel down. so i just set space back to jump and then ‘b’ as my edit key, slanting my keyboard a bit. we’ll see how this goes...

- drove over to the doctor’s around 2:15pm, getting there around 2:45pm for my 3pm appointment. i did the usual check in and fill out forms for stuff. then the nurse brought me in to check my height and weight. then blood pressure and heart beat and said the doctor will be in shortly

once the doctor came in i told him about the lump that i saw near the anus area after bowel movements. he said that it might be hemorrhoids and prescribed some medicine for me to pick up at CVS to try to apply and see how it goes

i also told him about the mild chest discomfort i felt last week after running and he said that it may have just been muscle strain. they ran an EKG on me just in case though to make sure my heart’s okay. he said the results were normal and i was free to go

i also asked him about ear cleaning and he told me about debrox so i could go pick that up over the counter as well

when i checked out i was told where to get my blood test taken and also where to pick up the prescription (CVS near me)

- drove to wawa to pick up a chicken strip hoagie and wrap for tomorrow’s lunch. then drove back home to the CVS near me to pick up the prescription and get the debrox

- ate the chicken strip hoagie while watching S2E6 and S2E7 of scrubs. i put the wrap in the fridge to eat for tomorrow

- watch the first episode of “my ex-boyfriend” in chinese using the language learning tool with double subtitles. the plot seems interesting. it’s kind of cheesy but i’m actually kind of mildly entertained so i feel like that encourages me to try to learn the language better. right now i’m focusing on isolating which words i don’t understand when people say them and then clicking on the definitions to try to understand it. i watched it from 7-8pm ish

- from 8-8:30pm i wrote a recommendation draft for sameer for NY and i’ll send it out tomorrow morning. just as i hopped on a call with jwoos to play some smash, sheena asked if i could help out with calc

we briefly went over some concavity and points of inflection since sheena took a make up test today and missed the lesson in class. we sort of got some intuition for it looking at some examples but sheena was so tired she said she’ll do a bit of it and then ask tomorrow/go to sleep

- she went to sleep around 10pm. i went back to my room and played smash with jwoos from 10-11:30pm ish. jacob hopped in on our call just to hang out. doug joined around 11:30pm, just as i was signing off :p 

- i took a shower, applied some of the medication for the anal area and then went to sleep around 12:30am/1am

the end

[daebakinc]

EXO’rDIUM Newark Fan Account

For some reason, this time round, Prudential Center did not have its shit together. They had moved the show up to 7:30 weeks ago, so we assumed we’d all be in by 7:00 tops. Wrong. My new friends I made in line (YAY) and I didn’t get in until 7:30, by which time we were a drenched, bedraggled looking lot. One of my friends almost didn’t have her ticket work it got so wet. 

However, when EXO finally came on an hour late, it was like a flip switched. They made me forget I was hungry. That I was soaked through to my underwear and socks. That I was cold. EXO made me forget everything except how happy I was to see them.

I’ve got to hand it to the EXO-Ls there. We made sure they knew we were happy to see them. I’ve never heard fans sing along as much and as well as we did tonight. Well, I tried, but I was at a disadvantage since I primarily listen to the Chinese versions for practice lol.

The screaming and cheering started as soon as the lights dimmed, as if most of us hadn’t waited for hours in the rain. That said, this concert was also unique in another sense: EXO had so many more VCRs than I’ve seen. The opening VCR was the really cool mix of live footage and graphic novel style animated that introduced EXO with their powers as our protectors because we humans are dumb and keep hurting each other (there may have been a small commentary on American bombing during the Korean War but maybe that’s just me). The second was like a group date with EXO with Lay leading you between the members: you played darts with him, air hockey with Kai, an arcade game with Chanyeol, ate a snack&did a love shot with Sehun, watched a movie with Chen&Suho&Xiumin(who did aegyo!), watched Baekhyun make funny faces with a light stick, played a foosball game with Kai&Sehun, and then a dance party with all of EXO. The third had them all shrunken down and wearing those silly elf costumes with Chen, Suho, and Kai dancing around in a music room; Baekhyung and Xiumin working in a storage room with a very sleepy Kyungsoo who kept trying to nap; and Lay, Sehun, and Chen messing around in a sound room. So cute. The closing VCR was a kind of ending to the first. 

EXO were a little out of synch dance-wise for the first songs, but after that they pulled together. I’m guessing part of it is the smaller stage and missing Lay (It was so sad, during the dance break for Wolf there was clearly a spot he was supposed to be). They did a good mix of group choreography and songs where they’d be spread out and do small parts of the choreography.

After the first three songs, all remixes, the boys gave their greeting. Everyone but Kyungsoo, who waved, bowed. I’ll go into more detail about their greetings, because they were hilarious, in their individual sections. Half of them reminded us to be safe though. 

Through out the show, it was really awesome how much energy they all had, and how they interacted with each other as much as they did with us. There were tons of tiny interactions the whole time: Chen helping Suho when Suho dropped his cane during Playboy(THAT FREAKING PERFORMANCE!! OTL), Kyungsoo making Kai laugh when they were on the side of the stage together, Baekhyun and Sehun being distracted by a moving bunny toy someone tossed up at the end. It was a reminder that as much as they’re an idol group, EXO is also a group of very good friends. It gave the concert an intimate kind of feeling, if that makes sense. The fact that the boys were incredibly, and I mean extremely good, about rotating themselves so every side saw each of them for a good amount of time multiple times, also helped this.

They also did a few of their songs as acoustic versions and heaven help the souls of all of us there because it was some of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard. Chanyeol played the guitar while the others sang, and Kyungsoo had hold out his mic so we could hear Chanyeol’s lines. Really though, I have video and y’all will see what I mean when I post it.

At some point, the staff gave them lightsticks to guide fans’ movements, and boy did they have fun dancing around directing us.

When they had to get changed, they took turns. Suho, Chen, and Kai were left on stage first and they told us about what they did in New York the day before. Chen saw Chicago, and wanted to give us the same feelings the musical gave him. Kyungsoo walked around and saw the play ‘Sleep No More,” which he suggested we go see but he was glad we were here instead of off seeing it. Silly. Kai went to Soho to buy shoes, then ate the third best pizza in the world, and bought medicine at CVS that he had trouble taking because the pills were big. Chen was adorable and kept repeating CVS because Kai was going on about how big the store was. Chen was also trying to amuse himself by trying to flip a bottle while Suho and Kyungsoo were talking. Kyungsoo also said he was tired because it was morning in Korea, prompting Chen and Suho to start yelling “Good morning” to us and making Kyungsoo laugh. Suho told us he walked around the city because he loves the movie “Birdman,” which again prompted Chen to be cute and pretend to fly, then sing “I Believe I Can Fly.”

While Chen and Suho were singing “I Believe I Can Fly,” Chanyeol came out and sung with them. It was so so pretty! Then Suho ruined it by asking “Was it a commercial?” to which Chen responded “Let’s move on,” and left lol. Xiumin pretended to kick them off. Chanyeol told us he went bowling, demonstrating by almost rolling his water off stage. When the others, Baekhyun was there too, asked him why do that when he can bowl in Korea and he said he just has bowling in his mind, but EXO-L in his heart. Cheeseball. Then, Baekhyun had to explain to us why they changed and this is where the little shit in him came out. He teased us for awhile asking if we were curious, then told us we had to help them sing the next song. He taught us the chant in Korean, then asked “When you’re dancing in the shower, don’t you naturally dance to the beat? I know I do.” He had such a smirk on his face. Dirty. He tried to get Xiumin to show us, but Xiumin said he doesnt’ really dance in the shower because it’s too slippery so he just showed us his upper body dance. Baekhyun then told us to not stop and bring out our secret dance. OTL

During the encore, the real one, people threw a lot of toys and such on stage. While it was fun to see the members play with them, I’ll also remind you guys to please not do this. There was so much confetti already on the stage and with the guys dancing, I was really scared they would fall and hurt themselves.

Now, on the members themselves.

Xiumin. My baby. I spent so much time watching him because he looked so healthy, and damn the man is gorgeous, and like he was having such a good time. I was so glad he was smiling so much. He reminded us to obey the rules for safety in his greeting and then did the EXO Showtime greeting. Got me right in the feels. He would do all these little dances in between songs or when they were just walking around, including some very unnecessary extra hip thrusts, and his singing and rapping was amazing. I was so proud when he got a mini dance solo during Transformer!! My boy needs more recognition for how good he is at pretty much everything. He also pointed a lot when he sang and got really into the music, and during Lucky he made a big heart with his arms. He walked around like that with this huge smile on his face. At the end, he tried playing soccer with some blow-up thing someone threw up with Kai, but gave up after it fell off stage. He blew a ton of kisses for us when they finally said goodbye.

Yes, Suho is an incredibly good-looking man(those tummy flashes we got during Wolf were no joke), but even more than that, he is such an adorable sweetheart. He tried to speak exclusively English for us through out, the dearheart, only reverting to Korean when he wanted to say something complicated. He also told us to be careful for our own safety and thanked us for waiting for them for a year. Once the concert started, he was all smiles and I do mean smiles. Unless the song was intense, that sweet smile was on his mouth. He also did a ton of little finger hearts and winks, enough to make any EXO-L swoon and spout gibberish. He accidentally called the tour “Exo’lucion” and got embarrassed, which is why he quickly moved on to the acoustic performances, which he called a “gift” for us. At the end, he thanked us for making the concert better than he’d thought and promised they’d be back after our collective groan of sadness they were leaving. He wanted to take a group picture with us after they said they goodbye, but  Kyungsoo convinced him to wait until after Angel.

Chanyeol was, for lack of better words, Chanyeol. Equal parts a giant child and serious musician. He took his ear piece out to hear us scream for him during his greeting and promised to make it a “crazy night.” While he had his game face on during his parts and the choreography, in between the kid was all smiles. It’d get especially big when he’d be at the edge of the crowd waving. It was interesting to see the difference in him when he had the normal guitar and the electric guitars. He was all soft sweetie during the acoustics, though he did show off a bit, and then hot af rocker with the electric guitar. For real, I didn’t anticipate how sexy he gets when he’s rocking out, which continued when he moved into the DJ box. Towards the end though, he reverted back to being a little kid. He played with the streamers and then stood in front of the confetti gun at the very end until Chen had to come collect him for the group pic. He also had a very fun time playing with two of those squishy, spikey yoyo toys, one of which Kyungsoo tried to play with too, and he crossed the entire stage to give Baekhyun a plushie.

Chen, the flirt. As with many of the others did in the beginning, he told us to be safe, but he also told us he could feel our love directly. He was constantly playing around when the songs didn’t demand seriousness. Whether this was with his members or us, it didn’t matter. He joked around a lot with the others, and I kept seeing them smiling or laughing when he was close to them. He’d also get this huge grin whenever he was waving at us, and doing a cute little hopping dance while going so, or trying to get people to move their lightsticks a certain way. The little sweetie also made a neat pile of the toys at the end so no one would trip. As much fun as he had, he didn’t fail to impress me with his vocals. He’s already one of my favorite voices in EXO, but the different riffs he pulled off flawlessly just had me in awe. That’s besides the fact that he is also, very handsome, and the way his neck muscles and veins look when he’s belting out his notes is just... wow.

Baekhyun. First of all, I know we all secretly envy this kid’s looks with eyeliner but damn. It’s even worse in person and by worse he looks ten times more gorgeous. He may not have been as extra dance wise like I’ve seen in videos, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t an extra tease. It started right from the get-go with his greeting where he told us this concert was for us to get closer and then go home. I already told you about the shower dancing, but goodness his tone and his smirk and the mischief in his eyes, what a little imp. Scamp Baek also came out during the group pic when Suho was telling everyone to do a cute pose and Baekhyun yelled out “No, sexy!!” All kidding aside, Baekhyun also really blew me away with his vocals. He was on key and hitting those notes and my ears were in heaven. That’s not to mention his dancing too, like the mini solo he had during Monster, which was so so good.

With Kyungsoo, even though he’s one of my top bias ruiners, I was in no way prepared. Honestly. When the camera panned to him my mind kind of blanked and then it went “His fucking face!” I feel bad for Xiumin, but my breath always caught when I saw Kyungsoo. Ok, moving on, lol. Handsomeness aside, he is such an adorable squish. So serious when it’s his line, but then a cute little smile always found its way onto his face as he looked out at the crowd. During his greeting, he asked if we were hungry and admitted he was too, bursting into laughter. He followed it up with “Ok, showtime!” Then during Lucky One he did the little head side bob thing with Chen all with a straight face. He also has a tendency to hold the mic with both hands when he does a power note that’s beyond cute for some reason. And he had so many perfect power notes he’d melt anyone who loves music’s heart.

Kai, I am convinced more than ever, is Johnny Castle in real life. There’s just something about his dancing/stage persona that just oozes sex. Whether it’s the smirk or the fluid power with which he moves, I don’t know. He’s pretty sexy on his own considering he had a bit of stubble showing and did little things like unbuttoning his shirt for Playboy. He even danced to Angel.Tonight was almost all Kai with little bits of Jongin. He did come out some, like when he did a little jump to be sure where the small ramp was or when he was playing with Kyungsoo and couldn’t stop laughing or when he played with a lightstick plushie and glasses or when he kept singing from backstage after their goodbye. As much as I love Kai’s dancing, those glimpses of Jongin just make him more endearing.

I’ll be honest: Sehun is the member I’ve always kind of glanced over. I don’t even know why and I feel really bad about it. I think part of it is that even though he’s an absolute puppy around the others, he’s very aloof on stage. I’ll admit, it does add to his cool guy sexiness. He is incredibly handsome, and I do mean like story book handsome. Especially in the VCRs. Seeing how good he’s gotten in his rapping and dancing, both of which were splendidly shown off during his rap/dance duet with Chanyeol, made me very proud as well. I think the best part of the night in relation to Sehun though was the small things that could easily have gone unnoticed. Like the little dances he did on the side when they were just walking around where he only moved his arms and lifted his feet. Or how he picked up a dog plushie, that looked like his dog, and carried it around for the entire encore like a real dog. The cool guy is actually a soft guy lol.

Even though Lay wasn’t there, I really hope EXO lets him know how much EXO-Ls screamed for him when he came on-screen during the VCRs. Seriously, that’s when we were at our loudest it seems.

Overall, this was a really, really fun concert. From start to beginning, EXO and all us EXO-Ls were having a blast and singing our hearts out. It also really meant a lot to me to finally see them, and to have their encore song be Angel. I don’t know if I’ve shared this on this blog, but when I lived in China, it was a really dark time for me and EXO helped get me through it, particularly EXO-M. At the time, I wanted to be a Chinese teacher, so I kept telling myself if EXO-M can live in foreign country and survive and flourish, I could too. I know EXO-M isn’t exactly what they were, but EXO as a whole stepped into their place in my heart and I love all of these boys so much for what they’ve given me (Angel is also my go to song when I’m having a panic attack to help calm myself down.) So to me, EXO is my Angel and tonight I got to give them a little love back.