#I now identify as a Cone!

[shirleykarasuma]

If you...

are smol

look cute

extremely nosy

have something important to say, but nobody listens to you

are perceived cheeky by other people

aren't able to play any musical instrument at least halfway decent

always note when a sound is just slightly off tone, but you can't sing

an adult who looks like a child

were forced to take a weird drug

...you probably identify as a Cone!

I now identify as a Cone! (⁄ ⁄>⁄ㅅ⁄<⁄ ⁄) ♥︎

[cxldblxxded]

so there were like 4-5 gunshots in the parking lot behind my apt like an hour and a half ago, called 911 about it and now i should go to bed bc it's almost 4am but i'm mildly entertained watching three cops wander around the parking lot setting up their lil cones n shit

[alithographica]

As promised, welcome to

Fun biology in TOTK’s designs

I'll keep this post updated as I go through the game. I'm going to skip the more general identifiable things like apples (they're based on apples!) because there are tons of more unusual species to talk about.

Overall, the really interesting thing I've noticed is that many of the more unique Earth-based lifeforms in TOTK are super ancient, like predating dinosaurs ancient, which is a really cool tie-in to the overall time-hopping plotline of TOTK. Specifically, they're found in the new areas (caves, depths) while the surface remains a bit more normal.

(There will be no plot spoilers in this post, and also I've barely gotten into the plot because I'm spending all my time wandering, so shhh no spoilers in the tags for like a month please.)

Most recent additions: More lilies, irises, wild ginger, spiny bones, pigeon extravaganza, plus added some more real photo comparisons to old stuff.

PLANTS

Bryophytes my beloved. Bryophytes are among the earliest land plants, waaaay predating flowers and even seeds. In our world, they’re small by necessity—they lack vascular systems to help move water around like other plants, so they have to stay small and moist (hence their frequency in caves in TOTK—though they do need some light in real life.)

In TOTK they’re quite large and I think that’s very sexy and art directors should give us big bryophytes more often

Anyway, there are three types of bryophytes: mosses, liverworts, and hornworts. First image pair is a moss, second is a liverwort. Those red-brown and palm-tree-like structures, respectively, are their reproductive structures.

Real liverwort photo © Graham Calow, NatureSpotUK

Not yet spotted: Hornworts! Did they forget the third bryophyte sister :(

I think these next guys are probably lycopods (specifically club moss, which is not a true bryophyte moss, thanks science.) Very old, but vascular, so they're a bit more evolutionarily recent than bryophytes.

Real photo © Gloria Hanley Schoenholtz, virginiawildflowers

All the enormous curly-topped trees in the depths: Ferns! They curl like that until they unfurl. Another very old plant, though younger than bryophytes and lycopods.

Real photo via The Cosmonaut, Wikipedia

Brightblooms and some of the other giant plants in the depths: Possibly based on a cycad? Again, a very ancient plant lineage. At this point, evolutionarily, they've developed seeds—that giant cone in the center is called a strobilus, and that's the seed structure.

These next few plants are angiosperms, meaning they produce flowers. Angiosperms are a more recent evolutionary lineage—still many millions of years old, but it took a while to develop flowers as a reproductive tactic.

Sundelions (left) are a fun recolor of a lily. There are also some scenery lilies (right) in various places—there are yellow ones that spring up when you turn on a lightroot (which gives them literal and thematic connection to the surface) and several other varieties, including tiger lilies, throughout Hyrule. Fun note, the sundelions appear to only have 5 stamen, while other lilies in the game (correctly) have 6. Seems to be an intentional decision to make it a more distinct fantasy species.

These next ones are Peruvian lilies/Alstroemeria, just used as a scenery plant but a very fun inclusion. Fun fact, not true lilies, so they're not deadly to cats like true lilies are.

Real photo © Dick Culbert, Wikipedia

Plum trees: These are also called out as plum trees in game! There's a journal in Kakariko that refers to the plum orchards.

Okay I'm a little proud of figuring this one out. Bomb flowers blend a few botanical references. Superficially, the fruit resembles a type of seed pod called a capsule—specifically it's very similar to a poppy capsule. The little red thing in the center is a nice addition to resemble both a flower stigma (reproductive part that leads to the ovary) and a bomb fuse. Now, poppy capsules disperse their seeds via wind, but there are other plants who do explode their seeds outwards as a dispersal tactic! This is called explosive dehiscence.

There is one tree in particular called the sandbox tree, AKA monkey-no-climb or dynamite tree (yes, really.) Their capsules look more like little pumpkins, but are known for violently exploding when ripe—they can launch seeds at 150 miles per hour (250 km/h) and spread them roughly 200 feet (60 m) away. The photo comparison is a poppy capsule but you should def go look up dynamite tree videos.

Real photo © PommeGrenade, pixabay

Fire fruits (and the other elemental fruits) grow on the same generic plant that looks kind of like it has grape leaves. Fire fruits resemble a specific botanical thing too though—the black netting is a papery calyx (part of the flower) seen in a nightshade genus, Physalis (golden berries, tomatillos, etc.)

Real photo © Helene Rogers, Alamy

I think this stuff is an Asarum, AKA wild ginger. I was actually puzzling over it until I walked past some today and went HEY

Not sure of the exact species but they're very green and heart-shaped and love being dense and low to the ground.

Real photo via David Stang, Wikipedia

Irises: Love irises, one of my favorite flowers and words, very happy to see them in game.

MISCELLANEA

Cup lichen! Lichen is not a plant, but a symbiotic structure of an algae + a fungi. Cup lichen is just a type of lichen formation that has a kind of vertical cup-like structure.

Real photo via Bernard Spragg

Geology crossover! Go look carefully at some of the whiter walls in the depths—they look like they have fossils of coral and other undersea hard-structured animals in them.

ANIMALS

Sticky lizards: Based on Diplocaulus, a very early (now extinct) amphibian! Their skulls are wacky. We're not sure whether the long sides stood out separately or were smoothly connected to the body by skin flaps, but the separate arrow-like shape is the most popular rendition.

Deep firefly: Might be a stretch because it could just be a multi-winged fantasy critter, but I think the "wings" and antennae are very reminiscent of Anomalocaris, an ancient aquatic arthropod.

Update: Other folks in the notes/tags have pointed out that they're probably based on a cryptid that's especially popular in Japan: skyfish AKA rods! They show up in photos and people think they're an alien lifeform. In reality, they're an optical blur created when a lower quality video captures intermittent flaps of an insect's wings, leaving sort of a many-winged smear in the photo. Thanks to all who left info!

Little frox: Another stretch because it totally could just be a Hinox-like frog, but every time I see the little ones I can't help but think of like...Ichthyostega, Mastodonsaurus, Eryops, and other early amphibians. They were pretty hefty—little frox size or bigger—and had with little waddling legs. This is less "I think it's definitely this" and more "it makes me happy when I picture frox as primitive amphibians."

I haven't detailed many of the scenery animals around Hyrule because most are identifiable with the camera function—it'll tell you that a certain animal is a heron or porgy, for example, and those groups are real, even though the exact species is made up. But I think the pigeons are fun because they're all crested pigeons. Pink-necked green pigeons may have also been the inspiration for the color palettes on the wood and rainbow pigeons.

Both pigeon photos via JJ Harrison, Wikipedia

Spiny bones: Not a specific critter, but those spiny bones that you can find lying around Eldin Canyon are vertebrae—possibly from the same thing that left those big rib cages around? The top spike is the spinous process where muscles attach, the littler spikes on the side are the transverse and articular processes. The dark O in the center is the spinal cord.

Also I made a friend who finally recognizes my purpose in Hyrule.

That's all I've got for now! Will add more as I keep playing.

[cameronspecial]

Helping rafe to use a fleshlight🫦

Helping Hand

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: SMUT and Sex Toys

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 1.0K

A/N: I did research for this and an info video for a fleshlight had me giggling. Like, tell me why it has erectile dysfunction aid.

Masterlist

Rafe wasn’t a prude. He liked to fuck just as much as the next guy; however, before Y/N, he had never used sex toys. His arrogance made him think that only guys who couldn’t get it up would use them. 

She, on the other hand, loves the tools that can help heighten the pleasure for both of them. So she has been working toward getting him to bring the toys into their sex lives. It began with having him watch her use a vibrator. She used it to stimulate her clit, but when it came to penetration, Rafe stopped her and brought her to her release himself. The next step was being able to use a dildo to penetrate herself. It took everything in him not to take it out of her and throw it out the window. As she used the imitation dick, he got turned on by the sight. Maybe, letting her use the toys wasn’t so bad. 

Rafe’s upcoming business trip has her scanning an adult toy website she can use while she is away. Her eyes land on a particular object and it catches her interest. This could be the perfect next step in her plan. 

———

The night before his trip, he is folding clothes to pack. She tip-toes into the room in her purple silk nightgown that he leaves and her hands are behind her back. Déjà vu comes over him. He is familiar with this view. He rests the pants in the suitcase with a sigh, “What am I going to watch you fuck now? Is it one of those full dummy things? Please tell me it’s not that, they freak me out.” She giggles with a shake of her head. Her hair falls over her shoulders as she does. “Nope. Actually… it’s something for you,” she confesses, raising her hands to reveal the toy. His eyes narrow at the object. 

It’s a black cone-shaped object. One end is rounded and the other is flatter with a bump as well as a red scoop-shaped thing attached to it. “What is that?” he questions. She steps forward with a bashful smile, spinning it around so he can clearly see the end with the scoop. “This is a fleshlight. One of the best on the market, Baby.” She hands it over to him so he can inspect it. He identifies the bump as an imposter labia and clit. In between, folds is a hole and looking inside of it shows tiny bumps. He moves on to the red scoop, which also has the same bumpy surface as the inside. “It’s a fleshlight,” she says, wrapping her arms around his neck to place a kiss on his lips to butter him up. His eyes widen and he throws it onto the bed. “No, no way. I’m not using that.” She pouts and plays at the hair at the base of his neck. “Aww, come on. I bought it just for you, with my own money. Are you telling me you aren’t going to use my gift to you, Baby?” she whines. She looks up at him through her eyelashes and bats them in the way she knows gets him to do anything for her. 

His bottom lip nestles between his teeth and he surrenders. “Fine. I’ll try it out.” She jumps up with small claps of her hand, “Yay! I promise you’ll love it. It will make phone sex so much better.” He doesn’t say anything and just strips down. He settles onto the bed with his back against the headboard. His head tilts to the corner of the bed across from him and she hops on. She rests her feet under her bum, spreading her legs so he can see her pantie-less pussy. “I wanna watch you use it.” 

He obeys. His hand grabs the toy and he spits into his hand to help with the friction. After he rubs the saliva over his shaft, he replaces his hand with the toy. The silicone feels strange against him, unlike the warmth and wetness he is used to. It doesn’t feel pleasant, yet it doesn’t feel amazing either. He pumps himself a few times while staring right at her. He quickly gives up and throws the toy to the side. “There I tried it and I don’t like it. So, can you come here to take care of this,” he whines. She plays along, crawling over to him and throwing her legs over his hips. When he reaches down to line himself up, she leans over to his bedside table and pulls something out. She straightens up and shows him the bottle of lube and a remote control. “That’s because I was hiding one final piece of the puzzle.” She pours the liquid on his length, cupping it to spread it all over. Then, she guides the fleshlight onto him. He moans at the re-entry. She reaches between them and places his balls onto the red silicone.

She shifts so she is straddling one of his thighs and presses a button on the remote. It begins to vibrate. The intensity near his balls and tip has him thrusting slowly upward. She smirks at the motion. This is working. His eyes flick to her vagina and she begins to ride his thigh. Her moans add to his enjoyment and he doesn’t bother to hide his anymore. His hips speed up, causing her to giggle. “If you think this is good, wait until you feel what happens when I press this button,” she teases. Her finger hovers over it before applying pressure. The trinket works on its own to suck him into its grasp and the bristles brush against him. “Oh,” he lets out, grabbing onto her waist to give him something to do. She lets him help her move, “See, you like this.” 

The muscles in the Adonis belt spasm and she knows what that means. She presses the button three more times, speeding up the pace of the toy. His thumb falls to her bud and he circles it at the same speed. She collapses onto him with her forehead against his shoulder as they are both brought over the edge. They both pant in silence while they come down from their highs. She leans back to look at him with a grin, “So, what do you think?” 

“I think that maybe it doesn’t hurt to have a helping hand.”

Taglist: @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @magicalyoura @rubixgsworld

[idlesuperstar]

Donald was the best partner in movies I ever had. We were brothers and we loved each other. We had such a deep, sublime chemistry. There was nothing intellectual about it, just this amazing natural harmony. I first met him in the commissary at 20th Century Fox when Robert Altman told us to have lunch together after I’d been cast in M*A*S*H. At first I thought: I don’t think this guy likes me. But it was just the opposite. The thing was: we were such opposites. I’m a Jew from Brooklyn and he was a Canadian from Nova Scotia. But it was perfection: never any conflict, just bread and butter – a relationship that felt like a miracle. Making M*A*S*H made us immediately close because while everyone else was working with Bob Altman, we worked for Bob Altman. He kept us a little segregated. We were both really unsure about the improvisation, the direction of the movie and Bob’s approach in general. Donald was hired well before me, but once I signed on we had the same deal: no less than second billing, and the same money. Later in production, Richard Zanuck, who was at that time running 20th Century Fox, said they wanted to give me first billing. I thought: “Oh that’s a nice honour. But Donald is my friend! I’m not going to be opportunistic – he was here first and should have first billing and I’ll stay in second place.” That’s what Donald meant to me. I never told him about that. A few years later, I turned down the screenplay for the movie that became S*P*Y*S, about two bumbling CIA agents. Then Donald called and said: “Would you do it with me?” And I said: “Oh that’s a different story. Of course!” On the first day of shooting in London, we drove to work together and he said: “What do you think of the script?” I rolled the window down, threw it out and said: “It’s a piece of junk. The only way this will work is if we swap parts.” But the producers could not digest that, so we just did the picture. Yet we did bring some of our own ideas to the table. There wasn’t an ending, for instance - so Donald and I agreed that we would just walk up the road with our backs to the camera and sing Side By Side. We worked together and we succeeded together, but we didn’t socialise very much – though having the opportunity to develop a relationship with some of his family was a total joy. Once, Donald was making a movie in the Bahamas and I came to visit because I had a week off from making The Long Goodbye and was interested in his leading lady, Jennifer O’Neill. Kiefer, his son, was five or six and Donald introduced us. Kiefer wanted me to stay, so when I said goodbye, I said: “Kiss me, Kiefer.” He had an ice cream cone in his hand and put it on my face – he kissed me with his cone. Donald was a true human being – and not all of us are. He could identify with any of us. His presence and his nature, his life and his mind are an asset for everyone. We all come and go physically, but as a being, he was really special and unique. I don’t put anything in the past. With me, it’s all in the present. My feeling is that for as long as I am living, Donald will be with me. I have no doubt about that, and I’m not being sentimental. I can see Donald now. I will see Donald for ever.

Elliot Gould - Donald Sutherland remembered by Keira Knightley, Elliott Gould, Ralph Fiennes and more in The Guardian

[rottenpumpkin13]

Whats happens when the boys™️ go camping on the beach?

Things That Happen At The Beach, A List

• The seagulls see Cloud as an easy target and attack him for his food. Zack rushes in to defend his buddy and ends up fist fighting a seagull. Zack loses.

• Sephiroth tries to relax in the sand and read a book, but Angeal's continuous use of a metal detector to "hunt for goods" nearby is giving him anxiety.

• Genesis is going on a drink run and is offering to get everyone else something too.

Genesis: Would you like a sex on the beach?

Sephiroth, not knowing it's a drink: I thought you'd never ask.

• Zack has gripped a seagull by the neck and is refusing to let go. The other seagulls are getting increasingly more agitated. Cloud pleads with Zack to let it go. Zack claims that the only way to deal with the seagulls is to "assert dominance"

• Genesis ia trying to take aesthetic pictures of himself for social media and doesn't notice that in half of them, Sephiroth is in the background losing a battle with a melting ice cream cone.

• Angeal is looking for the guitar he brought to sing campfire songs. Genesis burned it to build a fire. Angeal retaliates by burning Genesis' books in that very bonfire. The last anyone saw Angeal and Genesis they were trying to drown each other in the ocean.

• Sephiroth brings a book that aids in identifying crab species and a camera to catalogue them. Sephiroth finds a crab. He takes a photo of the crab with the flash on. This bothers the crab. The crab attacks him. Sephiroth flings the crab into the ocean. Sephiroth feels guilty and goes into the ocean to retrieve the crab.

• Sephiroth and Genesis try playing with a frisbee for fun. Sephiroth underestimated his own strength and ended up knocking Genesis out with the frisbee. When Angeal finds them, Genesis is still knocked out and Sephiroth is digging a Genesis-sized hole in the sand.

Angeal: ......

Sephiroth: I panicked.

Angeal: Oh my god.

• The seagulls are encircling Zack and Cloud. Cloud lights a beach towel on fire to try to ward them off.

• AGS go on a banana boat for fun. The boat driver warns them that if they don't hang on, they'll fall off. Genesis is the first to claim "Ha! We're SOLDIER. As if we can be bested by an inflatable water sled." On the first wave all three of them are violently thrown into the ocean. Genesis was the first to go and knocked Angeal and Sephiroth like bowling pins.

• Angeal finally intervenes and chases the seagulls away. He gives Genesis, Sephiroth and Cloud the task of fishing for their cookout while Zack helps him prepare.

Angeal: You guys know how to fish, right?

Sephiroth: Definitely. (Liar)

Cloud: Absolutely. (Liar)

Genesis: Of course (embellisher of the truth)

• 1 hour later they come back with Cloud tangled in a fishing line, Genesis with a small fish, and Sephiroth with a big fish. Genesis is fuming because he claims Sephiroth "invaded his fishing space and caught the fish that Genesis was meant to catch."

• Genesis and Sephiroth go paddle boarding for fun but end up having a makeshift sword duels with their paddles in the middle of the ocean. Genesis hits Sephiroth in the knees. This Angers Sephiroth. Genesis now has a total of 2 minutes to make it to shore before Sephiroth catches up to him and drowns him.

• Angeal wants to take some nice group photos to remember this day forever. They're in the middle of a nice group pose when the horde of seagulls come back for revenge.

[kivino]

KIVI, YOU SWEET ANGEL YOU.

can you write a price x gn!paramedic!reader where price is on leave, and maybe he gets into a car accident that isn’t too bad so he refuses to go to the hospital, but the cute paramedic keeps insisting on at least checking him out in the ambulance……….. 😋

DOUBLE VISION || JOHN 'BRAVO 0-6' PRICE X PARAMEDIC!GN!READER

Word counter – ~1.9k

Tags/Warnings – mentions of car crash, intoxication, medical examinations, fluff, first meeting, and lack of medical professionalism, lmao.

A/n – PLSS I HOPE YOU LIKE IT POOKIE, IT TOOK ME A HOT MINUTE TO GET TO THE REQUEST I’M SORRY MWAH. also credits for the name go to @mockerycrow as well, they’re a genious and have the biggest brain out of the two of us.

ao3 link for this fic

It’s always a slow process for John - getting used to the slow, civilian ways when he finally gets his leaves approved. When he spends so much time on the field, more often than not he starts to forget about “the other side” of life. Lack of noise, mundane mornings, and silent nights come and with them, the all-encompassing feeling of loneliness starts to set in his gut. John gets reminded about the lack of anyone’s presence in his life. No one is waiting for him back home, and no one will probably be any time soon, with how work takes over most of his free time. And then the captain remembers he’s not getting any younger.

Of course, he had plenty of experience and relationships before, but none of them lasted until now when his hair was already graying and wrinkles were starting to riddle his face here and there. John wasn’t insecure about his age, no, because that would be foolish, really, rather it was the fact that he had no one to share with all the years that were ahead of him.

What John also had a hard time getting used to was driving the busy streets of London with its crazy drivers after months of not getting behind the wheel, which brings him to this moment. Well, it really was on him for trying to get somewhere after happy hour in all the pubs in the area ended, he should’ve probably anticipated some drunk idiot would want to drive back home today. John wasn’t in the right headspace at the moment to fill out all the paperwork and figure out who was in the wrong. His thoughts were far away from here. Probably all the impact from the airbag and the hit.

He’s had it worse before, of course, so some bruises and scratches here and there wasn’t something he couldn’t handle. John felt some pulsing pain in his knee, making it harder to stand upright, and a bit of an ache in his neck from the whiplash, but again, it wasn’t as bad as getting thrown into the wall by an explosion or falling out of a damn helicopter.

So now he has to spend the whole evening working out things with the police and that drunk idiot who bumped into him, freezing his ass off in the rain. Just perfect. John feels a surge of annoyance and exhaustion wash over him, he pinches his brow, letting out an impatient sigh. Cops have arrived on the scene already and started examining the two collided vehicles, after putting around some traffic cones so some other lucky fellas don’t decide to join in on the fun. From his spot on the sidewalk, John can also see the paramedics, who had to get involved because as soon as cops started questioning that drunk guy, he decided to scrunch into himself and show the world all the contents of his stomach. As if it needed to get even more complicated than it already was.

“Excuse me, sir? You’re the other…driver involved in the accident?” John suddenly hears a voice, a bit on the quiet side, which brings him out of his thoughts that involve strangling somebody in a variety of different ways. And oh, his nights instantly become tens, if not thousands of times better when he sees the owner of said voice.

Judging by the identifying markings you were a paramedic, and a very cute one at that, with your dull green uniform and a big jacket on, brows tied together in a concerned expression. Oh, and your eyes, they looked absolutely lovely in the low streetlights. Price is taken aback for the moment, forgetting every word in his vocabulary. He feels his heart starting to beat faster, blood flowing through his veins so fast he’s sure if it wasn’t for the evening darkness he’d most likely resemble a tomato. But then John realizes he must say something because just staring at you would just make him seem like some old creep. And he absolutely didn’t want that.

“Yes, that would be me.” He speaks up after clearing his throat. You nod to that, attentive gaze still on him. John then adds on after a short pause, which took him to let out a deep sigh. “You need me for anything?” Anything. Something. Please.

“Just checking up.” John feels his heart melt at that small smile that grazes your lips, making it obvious you’re satisfied with his answer. “You seem to be holding up better than the other driver.” You joke in an attempt to either lighten up the mood, which John appreciates, or to calm yourself a bit. It didn’t escape him how you seemed a little shaky. It was Friday night, so today’s shift might have been rough on you. Always the Friday nights.

“Well, anyone would hold up better than that bloke.” He jokes with a bit of abandon, a low chuckle escaping his lips, as he starts to overthink himself. John suddenly feels like a dumb teenager, which is never a good sign, especially when there is someone he’s interested in right in front of him. Price feels like his laugh is too rough, stance is too relaxed and everything is just a bit too much when your eyes are on him. Oh, he’s so going to embarrass himself.

“True, but let’s not tell him that.” You give a quiet laugh and John’s worries die down a little. Not completely, but enough to let his eyes get glued to your face. “How are you feeling? Is there any abnormal pain, anything unusual or out of the ordinary?” Oh, so you’re the type to get straight to business, huh? Interesting. Price liked that. “If there’s anything wrong we’ll get you right to the hospital.” Price declined when he got asked about the hospital before by another paramedic because there was no way he was going to spend even more time out of his house because of some minor scratches. But if it meant you’ll be there, he’s calling dibs on the seat beside you in the ambulance truck, dear lord.

“My knee’s complaining a bit, love.” John can see your eyes going as big as two shiny coins when you hear that pet name, which, to be fair, slipped out completely unintentionally. However, by the way you instantly light up in another shy smile, he can tell you don’t really mind it, so his nervousness caused by this… “happy accident”, comes down again. “Some bruises, but I’m not about to hold you up because of those.”

“Oh, well, that’s alright, come with me and I can check you out…” You stutter over your words while talking a bit too quickly and once you understand what you said, an annoyed groan comes out of you. Way to embarrass yourself. “I mean, check your knee out in the ambulance, alright?” You again shoot him a smile. Which probably is in vain, since he’s a patient at the moment, and you’re at work, and that’s very much frowned upon, but what can you do? You don’t meet a man like that everywhere. He looks a bit rough around the edges, but that’s part of the charm.

“I’m sure your hands are already full with that hero of the day over there, I’m good.” What. The fuck. Are you doing. John. The only chance he gets to talk to you and he’s blowing it, for fuck’s sake. He didn’t know why he said that. Maybe not to seem desperate in a very self-sabotaging way, but that’s just. Oh, John, you’re too old for playing some damn games with someone you like.

“You know what? I insist.” Your voice is lower and rougher. And when you top it off with another one of your sweet smiles and a gentle touch on his shoulder? John is a gone man. Turning into complete mush, putty, if you will. God, for this perfect smile he was ready to smash and repair every single house appliance and pipe in your house.

“Alright then. Anything for you, love, lead the way.” And you did, with your hand resting softly on his back, helping him forward. John wished you would’ve been bolder with your touch, so he could feel more than just a light graze, but still. It felt good.

And then he finds himself in the back of the ambulance truck, this cramped, tiny space making him hold his breath from being so goddamn nervous in your presence. You told him to take a seat while rummaging through some cabinets and various medical bags for something. Seemingly not finding anything that you needed you spoke up to him again.

“Okay, now let me see your knee, sir.” You mumbled while kneeling in front of him, your eyes concentrated on the man. He didn’t mind you calling him sir at all. John was so used to being called that, but right now it just spread that very pleasant warm feeling inside of him.

“Well, I’m not taking my pants off. Not without a dinner first.” Price chuckled, as he tried rolling up one of his pants legs. And, well, his statement wasn’t that far from the truth. The whole deal with examination was a bit awkward to begin with, so he didn’t want to make it even worse.

“I’ll think about it, big guy.” You chuckle, as you finally start looking at his knee, small, feather-light touches sending sparks over Price’s skin. So, you enjoyed teasing him like that, huh? In combination with that nice, sweet smile? Oh, John is sold. He definitely should you invite somewhere while he still has time on his leave. But before he can open his mouth to make a brave offer you speak up again. “Looks like you have a minor sprain in here, your knee’s all swollen. I’ll apply some elastic bandages, that you’re going to have to wear for some time and redo yourself. But overall you seem to be doing good” Price couldn’t help but feel like that last remark wasn’t about his health.

“Yeah. Yeah. That’s all fine with me, love. Do what you have to.” You only nod in response, spending some time rummaging in the cupboards once again and emerging victorious with a roll of elastic bandages in your hands. You return to your previous position in front of John, and adjust his knee with a firm hand, mumbling a quiet “Hold still, please”. Oh, he’d freeze for centuries if you had asked him to. But he does, and as you wrap the bandage around his knee, which just kept pulsing with hot pain, he couldn’t help but admire you. The trained movements, the concentrated gaze, the warm touch…Maybe he really should act on his thoughts. Maybe it’s his chance. Maybe something can work out and this accidental meeting will become…something more.

Price wanted it to become something more.

His imagination ran rampant, picturing you wearing something nice and fancy, in case you do agree on a date. John totally should not be thinking this when you were right there, finally putting some finishing touches on his knee bandaging, so he forced them out of his mind and cleared his throat. Here goes nothing. But before Price can even utter a single sound you’re already being called over by your colleague. Guess he’ll just have to wait until you’re free of your duties, huh?

check out my masterlist or send me a request/comment!

[theblasianwitch]

So I've been spending the last few monthes reading, watching, walking, and just overall researching foraging safely and the types of plants in my area. Today was the first day with my spouse and son that I was able to identify some plants confidently... so of course with my direction we began foraging.

It saddens me that one of the main motivators for foraging today is knowing that my neighbors and my mother in law would be getting their lawns mowed soon and most of what I gathered today would've been lost. People just don't know what they have.

We pay to remove plants, herbs and even fruits growing naturally in our lawns, only to go buy the same plants from our grocery stores.

Plants found:

Dandelion: the whole plant is edible if you can spot it from its copycat. The leaves can be used the same way as most greens, it's roots when dried can be used to brew Dandelion coffee, and the flowers can be used for tea and to make honey

Chives and Onions: a common herb and garnish its stalks grow back once cut. If left to grow long enough they absorb nutrients better and can produce bigger onions but for now these chives were found before being mowed over and the onions are quite small but very strong and flavorful

Dead nettle: this one was new to me learning about it near the end of winter and seeing the small purple flowers growing. The flowers and leaves droop downward almost making a closed umbrella shape. It can be eaten raw or cooked and is used in salads and smoothies for garnish and flavor. They are high in nutrients and vitamins. Left to grow in the sun the purple turns almost pinkish and the leaves get lighter but still useful

Pine (cones, needles and seeds): I didn't forage the cones or needles today cause I knew I'd be busy, but baby pinecones can be cooked and eaten and the needles when cleaned and placed into an airtight container with water and sugar make a soda. I managed to find a few seeds in some of the fallen cones and saved them to plants in our future home

That's what we foraged. We are waiting for some more plants to develop and managed to convince my mother in law to leave certain sections of the lawn left uncut as some plants are still just starting back. Plants were waiting on are plantains, honeysuckle, and violets. Some plants are still too early to identify.

Using the dandelion greens tonight and making a pesto with some of them combined with the dead nettle and onions to use for a future pasta.

[vyvirka]

It is kind of sad being a squirrelkin in a community full with lots of strong, bigger, predator kins around.

From Therian Guide: Many members are often pressured to fit in with the rest of the group. For example, a therian who has always identified a mouse, but feels underestimated or casted aside because most people would laugh it off “Ha? a mouse? ...well, my theriotype is a tiger” now, who wouldn’t be fascinated by a tiger?

Me, I'm a simple squirrel. I just want to forage for food to cache it, and hide from predators in a cozy nest up a tree.

I guess such experiences aren't very interesting, compared to a wolf describing their howl urges or a bear writing about their preparations to hibernate.

I'd like to post something like "I found a pine cone outside :D", who's interested in that? If so, I could post my cones here :D Let me know.

[feelmyskinonyourskin]

You And I Were Fireworks [Proposal Gone Wrong Trope]

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Female Reader

Trope de Sept Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Proposal Gone Wrong situation 1. Character wants to propose. Something goes awry and ruins their plan "AJ is determined to make you his Aunt, without giving Sam a say in the matter."

Warnings: Fluff. Reader is fem identifying (references to she/her pronouns and being Cass and AJ’s Aunt.) No use of y/n. Established relationship. 

WC: 1,100

*I never give permission for my fics, manips, or any other original creation I post on this site to be copied, posted elsewhere, translated, or fed into any AI program. The only platform I currently post anything on is Tumblr. Thanks!*

Spending the Fourth of July with Sam’s family in Louisiana had become one of your favorite traditions of your relationship in the few years since you and Sam had started dating. It was only fitting that Sam's hometown threw a true American neighborhood cookout on the pier, proud of the local-bred boy who had taken up the mantle of Captain America.

You had just finished helping Sarah and a few of the other neighbors set up the tents on the dock, when you noticed Sam’s youngest nephew sitting alone on the edge of the pier. You wandered over and plopped down beside him.

“What’s up AJ? You look upset. Did Bucky and Cass not let you play corn hole with them?”

“No…” the boy said, dejected.

“Okay, so what’s up?”

“Leon asked who I was here with and I said my Aunt and Uncle, but he said you’re not really my Aunt cause you and Uncle Sam aren’t married.” he gestured to the man named Leon a few feet away, putting beer and soda into a cooler.

“Well, I mean he’s not wrong. But don’t worry AJ, I love you like you already are my nephew. Your mom and brother have been nothing but welcoming since Sam and I started dating and I really do feel like family.”

“But why aren’t you and Uncle Sam married yet?”

“Because he hasn’t asked me yet! He’s gotta propose first. Quit dragging his feet, you know?” you joked and it made AJ chuckle “And besides, we’re both pretty busy and weddings take time to plan. But, hey you’re gonna look great in a suit when you’re a groomsman.”

“You really think Uncle Sam is gonna make me a groomsman?”

“I know he will. Now come on, quit worrying about what Leon has to say and go enjoy the party.”

The conversation left your mind until a few hours later when you were all sitting around a picnic table enjoying your cookout food. Sarah and Sam were discussing upgrades they wanted to make to the boat when fall rolled around, and Cass and Bucky were in heated competition to see who could make the Ketchup containers make the loudest fart noise.

AJ slid onto the bench beside you as you ate.

“Hey AJ, you doing better?”

“Yes. But I have a question.” he cleared his throat, getting the attention of everyone at the table.

AJ dropped to one knee beside you and held out a makeshift ring he clearly had just fashioned from some straw wrappers.

“Will you marry my Uncle Sam?”

“AJ!” Sarah exclaimed

“Oh god no.” Sam buried his head in his hands

“Oh god yes.” Bucky said, fully invested

“AJ, is this you asking because you want me to be your Aunt or did your Uncle put you up to this?” you asked

“No! It's me trying to make this happen! What you said was right. Uncle Sam needs to stop dragging his feet and make you part of the family. So I figured I’d make him do it!” AJ said triumphant in his plan

“Wait what?!” Sam’s head shot up

“AJ that was… I meant that as a joke.” you stuttered

Sarah clapped her hands together and stood.

“Okay kiddo, let’s quit interfering in Uncle Sam’s personal life. C’mon you can help me get the snow cone station set up.”

“But mom, she didn’t answer!” he said as Sarah tugged him away from the table

“Wow that was…” Bucky began to chuckle

“So when did you tell him I'm dragging my feet?” Sam turned to you and asked

“I did not… I meant it as a joke okay?!”

“Uh huh, sure…” he joked, putting his arm around you and kissing your temple

It felt like that was all you saw of Sam the rest of the day, he kept busy socializing with his old neighbors and friends. You knew Sam was always the life of the party, but a small part of you worried he was just avoiding you because of what happened earlier.

Finally, the sun finally set and the fireworks started. You sat on the edge of the pier, feet dangling in the warm summer water as streaks of red and blue exploded above you.

You felt a presence near you, as Sam sat behind you to enjoy the show as well, legs bracketed on either side of you as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled your back to his chest, planting a kiss on your neck once he was situated.

“Hey beautiful.” he greeted you

“Hey Sammy.”

The two of you sat in silence as the show continued, until Sam finally spoke up.

“What was your answer by the way?”

“What?”

“To AJ’s question. What was your answer?”

“Sam, you know it would be a yes if you asked. Why? Is AJ giving you ideas?”

“No, I can do ideas myself, problem is he beat me to it.”

“Wait, what?”

Sam removed one hand from around your waist and held it in front of you, a beautiful diamond ring in his palm.

“Little trickster ruined my big moment. But the question’s still the same. Marry me?”

“Sam…” you craned your neck to look at him, the smile splashed across his face showing he was being serious

The emotion hit you in a wave and all you could do was nod yes, not able to verbally answer or else you were sure the tears of joy would never stop. Sam leaned in and kissed you deeply, untwisting his arms from around your middle to help you put the ring on your finger.

“It’s perfect by the way.” You commented, admiring the way the ring sparkled under the colorful display in the sky

“If the kid just had an ounce of patience, I could have actually surprised you.” Sam laughed

“Consider me surprised. I love you Sam.”

“I love you too baby. Hey just think of how excited AJ’s gonna be, getting his 4th of July wish to make you his Aunt.”

“Is that a thing? Does Captain America grant Independence Day wishes now? Like Santa for summer?” you joked

“Just for my nephews. And for you.” he kissed you again

“You know if you tell him that, next year he’s gonna ask for a puppy.”

“Ha! and I’ll do it. And Sarah will kill me.”

“Puppy would make a cute ring bearer in our wedding.”

“Now who’s the one with ideas?”

"Just saying, a Fourth of July wedding with a puppy would be amazing."

[aisling-saoirse]

Tsuga canadensis - The Eastern Hemlock

Hello Everyone, today's plant profile should be familiar to you, I talk about Eastern Hemlock frequently on this blog and it's time I made a post that reflects my admiration.

To start let's deconstruct a common misnomer: While the name Hemlock connects back to the plant Poison Hemlock, Eastern Hemlock is not poisonous, English Settlers felt the scent of the foliage resembled that of the notorious herb. The Latin name Tsuga connects back to Japanese name for Hemlock Trees.

Now the basics: Eastern Hemlock is usually found in mountainous moist (but well drained) regions specifically around coves, canyons, ravines, and streams. The Tsuga family itself are a collection of evergreen conifers with an uncanny ability to grow on extreme slopes. The trunks themselves occasionally protrude from bare rock in bent forms (Image 4 from Kaaterskill falls, NY). Mature trees have pendulous flexible branches to avoid heavy snow loads.

Eastern Hemlocks can be found widespread throughout New England as far North as Nova Scotia and as far west as Minnesota, However as we move southward it becomes increasingly more restricted to the Appalachian mountains eventually ending in Alabama.

In it's native range, identifying Eastern Hemlock from other conifers is fairly easy, the cones (image 5 from inaturalist) are very small and round, while the needles are dark green shiny smooth on one side and a dull light green on the bottom. The needles come out flat upon the branch, almost like it's 2D when you take a cutting. The bark usually has very thick ridges (Image 7) and the tree has a lovely full triangular form (Image 10) at any age. There is only one other Tsuga species within the same range and that's Carolina Hemlock (Tsuga caroliniana), those are generally restricted to the western Carolinas, the needles protrude at any angle from the branch and cones have a type of curled spike. (taxonomy-wise they are not in the same series which is odd)

Eastern Hemlock is a long lived species, prior to the introduction of the Wooly Adelgid it was not uncommon to find groves of large trees way over 120+ feet and over 300 years old together. While more northern populations generally tend to be impressively large (Image 6 from Delaware Water Gap), Eastern Hemlock reaches its largest sizes south of Pennsylvania. Specimens in the Smokies still reach a staggering heights of 170' and ages above 500 years (Image 7 Below: Cheoah by Will Blozan). While this isn't as Impressive as its western counterpart Tsuga heterophylla which can reach an insane scale of 270', it is staggering for a tree which faces much hotter temperature conditions.

Just about all of the old growth Hemlocks in Appalachia have disappeared, but there are still old growth forests in Northern New England where the Adelgid hasn't really taken hold. Old growth groves do still exist in treated/cold winter/protected areas and somewhat thrive, I visited quite a few during my time in Pennsylvania. I believe the current species 'champion' is in the Allegheny Plateau.

So what is the Adelgid? It is an introduced aphid-like insect which appears as a wooly white growth on hemlock branches. They seems to kill older trees while younger trees are able to cope with it for a time, unfortunately these sap suckers have eradicated old growth stands throughout the Southern Appalachia. I made a post about my childhood forest loosing all of their giants years back, let me tell you it is a much different environment.

Ecologically speaking, Hemlock serves an incredibly important role in stream health. Growing on literal cliff faces this tree is also wonderful at preventing erosion. The dark evergreen shade of hemlocks not only reduces stream temperatures but retains moisture in the height of summer (image 8). it protects streams from extreme weather in winter too (Image 9). cooler stream temps serve as favorable breeding grounds for a higher diversity of stream species while also creating a refuge in winter cold.

If one wants to find moisture loving salamanders and newts in the east it is very common to find large numbers under the hemlock canopy. Tree falls of hemlock serve as fertile ground for fungi and mosses to cover the trunk. Birch and maple saplings often gain a foothold on the soft remains of Hemlock trees whose wood degrades very fast.

For human usage Eastern Hemlock has an odd history. The bark itself is very rich in tannins, settlers would use it for tanning leather. After the Industrial revolution it was used for railroad ties but today its often ignored or used as paper pulp because of its poor wood quality. As for less commercial functions Hemlock is not really an ideal tree for our consumption, The inner bark can be used as starvation food and the needles are a useful emergency Vitamin C source, However I will warn you that the needles are the least palatable of the edible conifers....

Due to it's poor wood and remote conditions it's not really unusual that so many old growth specimens survived up until the 21st century. Nearly all Eastern forest compositions are influenced by which lumber is most/least valuable.

Last portion - Landscape Value.

Eastern Hemlock in the wild is a beautiful tree in all seasons, naturally the tree will develop into a perfect form on its own, though with Adelgid it has lost popularity as a landscaping tree some people still maintain their trees with a once-every-three-year spraying. There are also many horticultural specimens worth thousands of dollars which have low growing and weeping forms, it is quite a versatile species.

So this has been my piece on the Eastern Hemlock, If you do choose to explore one of the few old growth groves still with us, please clean off your boots and gear. Happy Hunting!

[gt-abby]

Mar and Jake- Chapter 6

Here we go folks, the 6th chapter of this story is ready, so I'm giving it to you now. I'd very much appreciate it if you could reblog this.

Also if anyone wants to be in the tag list, send me a message I'll tag you when I release the 7th chapter!

Current tag list: @soakedmilkgt

1st Chapter Chapter five chapter six (you're here) chapter seven

----- 3000~ words

Mar never thought this would happen. She felt extremely dehumanized. As Jake walked, the bag shook. She saw him raise the bag flap, place her phone inside and close it, as he continued walking. She felt like a doll, like someone’s secret. She was hidden away and had no way of knowing what’s going on outside, where she was, or what time it was. She was surrounded by Jake’s things: a pen, a notebook, an apple, and a few more things she couldn’t identify. She was just one of his things, that he may or may not remember he put in his bag. She wanted to tell him this was wrong, that he couldn’t treat her that way. But in reality, she really couldn’t tell him what to do- he was so much bigger than her, he was the one in control. And he chose to hide her way yet within reach so he could do with her as he pleased. She wanted to tell herself he would never do such a thing, he’s a good person, he treated her so well in the past few days, but in the end, she was powerless in comparison to him- so the fear that he might mistreat her was always lingering. He was already mistreating her, anyway.

A sudden movement pulled her away from her depressing thoughts as she felt like the bag was gently placed down and the flap raised as giant hands lowered down and reached for her. That image was scary to her, she didn’t know who that was until Jake’s face appeared with a smile. He must have seen her face because his smile dropped.

“Are you okay?” Jake asked her, his hands freezing in place, hovering above her. But Mar shook her head. She didn’t even know how to explain how much she hated this, so she said nothing. He also sat there not knowing what to say. But there was little time to spare, so he reached inside and grabbed her with one hand, holding her like an ice cream cone and placed her on the dashboard.

“This isn’t very safe, but I figured you’d like it here better.”

Mar looked around and saw she was in a car- Jake’s car. Jake started his car and began driving, the sudden movement almost tipping her over. As he drove to his university, Mar watched from the dashboard, sitting on it with her legs spread to the side and her arms stabilizing her posture. Her broken leg still throbbed, but it was more manageable now. She watched him drive, carefully as to not make any sudden stops lest she fall, and she decided this was the perfect time to talk to him about her reservations.

“Jake, I’m sorry but this… I can’t do this; it feels really dehumanizing how you treated me this morning. Being inside of your bag it’s … it’s just wrong. I’m not one of your things, I -I really hope you don’t see me that way.”

“Of course I don’t see you as one of my things, that’s the last thing I’d want you to think but… I’m not very good at this. I’m sorry, I’ve never dealt with a small person before. I don’t think anyone has, so it’s hard for me to know what to do… I’m doing my best to help you, and I can’t afford to see you hurt yourself again, so I have to be able to be there for you, make sure you’re okay.”

“But I am okay,” Mar was quick to respond to him. “You don’t need to worry about me so much, there’s not much I can do anyways, especially now that I can’t even walk.”

“I’m sorry, you’re a danger to yourself, Mar, I saw you trying to walk last night and even with the chance of you doing that again and hurting yourself more when I’m not home… I can’t risk it.”

Mar turned red with anger. Did he really not trust her that much? So much so that he has to take away her autonomy? She turned to face away from him. She was so angry she couldn’t even talk to him anymore.

Jake sighed. “Look, this day is pretty short for me, anyway, and we’re already here. I’ll make it up to you when we get home, okay?” He knew he messed up. He could see she was holding back tears, but he had no time left to lose. He parked his car in the university parking lot and looked at all the other students walking around, from their cars and on to the grounds, towards the big entrance doors. Anyone could just walk to close and see her. He really didn’t want anyone to see her.

“Please, Mar, just this once. I can’t bear to see you get hurt.” He was pleading at this point. Begging her to let this go. She sighed heavily, trying to prevent the tears from rising up. He was just protecting her. He was only taking care of her the best he could… right?

“Okay, okay. Fine. Whatever. There’s not much I can do anyway, right?” she chuckled nervously, sarcastically. Jake knew she wasn’t joking. He heard the distress in her voice. But there really wasn’t much they could do.

“You ready?” he asked her, before even moving his palms towards her.

“Y-yeah… let’s hope this goes quickly.” He cupped her in his hands.

“I’ll put you in a safer place, okay? Closer to me. If there’s anything you need or want, absolutely anything, just poke me, alright?”

She nodded. He then placed her in an inner pocket of his jacket. He took the bag, slid the strap over the shoulder that was on the side she was at as to not squish her with it and got up, opening the door, locking the vehicles behind him and walking towards the entrance doors. He was late, but he didn’t dare break into a run. He just walked as fast as he could, while holding the bag in one place and the pocket Mar was in in another.

Entering the lecture hall, Jake sat at the back and opened his jacket, so that Mar could have more space. He leaned in and opened his bag, taking out his notepad and immersing himself in the lecture.

Mar watched his looming figure from inside the jacket. The smell was weird and overwhelming. Not bad per se, but not exactly pleasant either. She was sitting there awkwardly, here broken leg sort of leaning on her healthy leg to prevent any weight from being put on it as she leaned back onto the fabric. Suddenly the jacked was opened again and her phone was slid down into the pocket she was in. Mar was again reminded of Jake’s thoughtfulness and she could not help but let a small smile slide onto her face.

She unlocked it and began playing silently with the games she had installed to spend the otherwise boring time she has to spend, hidden away in plain sight.

—

Before they knew it, the lecture ended. Jake got up and walked over to his friends, saying hello, how are you etc. Mar blushed. There was something exciting about being hidden yet surrounded by a lot of people. As if she was invisible. She didn’t exactly know whether she liked this excitement or not, though. She listened to their conversation, and wondered whether Jake forgot about her or not. Was she so small she could be so easily forgotten?

“Hey Jake,” Mar suddenly heard a voice approach. “Can I have you for just a minute?”

“Umm sure, what’s happening, Emily?” Mar felt him walk a bit backwards before stopping. But before he could react, Emily pulled back his Jacket and revealed his tiny companion. The sudden movement made Mar feel a bit sick, but when she was revealed she instinctively cowered deeper into the pocket.

“I knew it, you have a tiny friend!” Emily half-shouted triumphantly. Jake quickly pulled the jacket from her and held it close to his body, ending up smushing Mar against him unknowingly. Both were blushing. Jake shushed Emily and pulled her towards a more private area where he was sure there was no one watching or listening. She was smiling broadly.

“How did you know?” he asked her quietly, still holding Mar close to him, her face turning bright red as she could feel his body emitting warmth, only a shirt preventing her from touching his bare skin.

“Educated guess.” Emily shrugged.

“No, be serious, Em, I can’t afford to.. oh… the parking lot …” He face palmed. Mar face palmed as well. That was the only time she was out in plain sight.

Emily smiled again, “bingo”, she laughed. “Come on, who is it? Someone I know? God I wish, this could be great.”

“What’s so great about it?”

“Now I know there are more people like me! Oh come on, show me!” she tried pushing his arm away but he persisted.

“Like… you?”

“Yeah, I never told anyone. But if I show you, you promise not to tell?”

“Only if you promise not to tell or invade my space again.” His voice had a hint of annoyance. ‘Our space’, Mar thought to herself. She prayed he won’t show her, but she couldn’t really do anything about that. She prepared herself to be manhandled again.

Jake then opened the jacked again and looked down at Mar, she nodded at him before he reached in and held her up to Emily’s face- which covered Mar’s entire field of vision. Emily gasped with a big smile.

“Hello! You’re not someone I know yet!” Emily’s giant eyes were examining Mar and that made her feel exposed, as if she were naked. Even if she wanted to reply she could take bring herself to speak. “Why are you hiding? Can’t you grow back?” Emily’s smile faded when she saw Mar’s face. She saw how terrified she was, how much she wanted to disappear. Mar shook her head and lowered her gaze. She felt tears well up again and she hated it. She hated that feeling that was so common to her in the past few days. She felt so vulnerable and helpless yet again. Emily refrained from touching Mar even though she wanted to, and it showed with the hands that were reaching, shaking faintly, towards the tiny figure.

“Do you… mind putting her on the table? Just for a moment.” Emily’s gaze returned to Jake, and so did Mar’s. Jake looked at Mar as if asking her and she nodded approvingly. He did so. Mar sat there awkwardly between two giants, not sure where to look, so she looked at the ground. Only then did Emily notice her broken leg. Before Mar knew it, Emily placed her hand in front of Mar and then, in a blink of an eye, they were at eye level.

Emily smiled broadly again. Mar and Jake gasped. Mar at first was worried, thinking she was shrunk against her will like her, but she saw Emily wasn’t panicking- rather she looked proud of it. She then took mar in for a tight hug. Mar was overwhelmed with emotion. Her eyes began dripping with salty watery tears as she hugged her back even tighter. Mar never thought she would feel a proper hug again ever in her life. Jake, on the other hand, was still in complete shock. He had seen Emily a lot on campus and even interacted with her on numerous times but he could have never guessed that she could transform like that. He never expected to see someone he knew, or thought he knew so well, have a whole entire other life, especially a magical ability. He watched the two tiny women on the table cry and laugh and talk with each other as his mind raced. He thought whatever was happening to Mar was only happening to her, as it sounded like from what she told him about her “dream”. But it seemed like there was a whole other world underneath the one he’s been living his whole life that which he was unaware of.

After a while, Mar let go of her new friend and laughed awkwardly, apologizing.

Jake then caught Emily’s gaze and all the question in his head spilled out of his mouth.

“Emily, I’d never have guessed you can do that, what? How? When? Who else? Is there anyone else?”

“Okaaay, calm down, cowboy, I’ll explain everything later. How about I come over this evening and we could talk privately and properly?” Emily looked between them as they nodded. She then shifted back to Jake’s size and winked at Mar, “see you both later.” And walked away swiftly.

Jake looked at Mar and saw the big smile on her tiny face. He chuckled. He’s never seen her so happy before. They exchanged looks before he placed her back in her designated pocket and on continued with his day.

—

Mar and Jake finally returned home and Jake quickly made them both something to eat. As they were eating Mar asked him, “hey, if I want to, say, take a shower, how can we make that happen?”

“You excited for Emily’s visit?” He teased her.

“Well… yes but that’s not the point,” She hoped to God he couldn’t see her blush. “I haven’t washed myself in days, and I’ve been wearing the same clothes ever since I, well, got this way,” Mar gestured at herself.”

Jake thought to himself for a while. A shower wouldn’t be possible, but a bath could, if they designate a bowl for it in the sink. The bigger problem was the clothes. They had nothing in her size. He could go out quickly and get doll clothes, but they might not fit her or be of a good enough quality. He could wash the ones she was shrunk with and dry them rather quickly. The biggest problem they had, though, was her bandages. They needed to replace them anyway. He relayed those thoughts to Mar quickly and waited for her decision. She opted for the bath and the quick washing of her clothes. So with Jake’s help they arranged everything- he placed a big enough yet not too deep bowl in the bathroom sink and filled it up with water and a bit of soap and mixed it up. He placed Mar next to the sink and walked out of the room. Mar then took off the bandages and clothes for the first time. She covered herself in hand towel and called him back in to take the clothes to wash them. After he left, she got into the bowl and began washing herself. That was extremely relaxing. She tried her best to ignore the fact she was bathing in a freaking bowl, one she probably ate cereal out of once. She pushed the thought away and continued washing herself out of the sweat and grime of the past few days.

In the meantime, Jake hand washed her teeny tiny clothes. He couldn’t help but feel those butterflies in his stomach, they were so small… he could fit his pinkie though the neck hole of the shirt. He could barely hold her socks between two fingers without losing them, so he placed them in a small bowl to keep track of them. As he rubbed the shirt against his other palm to rub off any stains that he couldn’t see even if he tried, he began to worry about Mar again- what if she fell and couldn’t get back up because of her injury? What if she’s calling for help and he can’t hear her? But what if he barges in and invades her privacy? His heart became heavier with every worrying thought that came to his mind. He finished washing Mar’s clothes and went over to the bathroom, knocking at the door.

“Hey, are you alright?” He asked, worry rising in his voice.

“Yeah, I’m good, just give me a few more minutes.” He heard her shout through the door.

With a soft reassured smile, he returned to the kitchen and held Mar’s tiny clothes up on one palm, while another hand held up a hairdryer to his palm and began drying them.

After a while, he came back to mar, who covered herself with the towel again and gave back her freshly clean clothes, folded as best he could (he failed but Mar didn’t say anything), and new bandages and toothpicks. Mar carefully wrapped her leg again and put on her clothes as Jake waited for her outside the door, then took her back to the living room.

“Ah, I feel much better now.” She said with a smile. Jake returned her a smile and looked at his watch. It was already almost nighttime, and Emily hasn’t arrived yet. He contemplated calling her when he realized he didn’t have her number.

“Why don’t we watch television until she arrives?” Jake asked Mar, trying to mask his nervousness. He was still in shock, unable to grasp the fact that she can shift her size like that. Has he been blind to the world around him all this time? Maybe there were so many hints and clues that he had totally missed.

Mar looked up at Jake from the coffee table and saw he wasn’t really watching with her, As he just tuned on the TV, staring at it with his leg jerking up and down nervously. She was about to ask him what he was so deep in thought about when they both heard a knock on the door

Mar agreed and he turned on the TV, still deep in thought. Is there anyone else he knew that had superpowers related to their size? Could Mar perhaps learn to change her size and become like Emily? So many questions he couldn’t wait to ask.

[pomodoriyum]

heeey could you tell me a little more about your girdling method for ligustrum? what age group is the ligustrum in when you treat ti that way and at what density in the stand? it was never a high priority target in the places i worked before just because it was in such high density monotypic stands that we didn't have the means to do followup restoration work so i never really tried a lot of control methods for it!

Hi! Thanks for the questions, I’m pretty stoked to be asked about this.

Going to start with identifying the ligustrum I girdle first, mostly for folks who don’t know what it is, where it’s native to, what it looks like, and its role in the ecosystem it comes from (and how it doesn’t fulfill those roles in the Americas). also, going under the cut because this is long.

The plant that I girdle is Ligustrum lucidum (common name: glossy privet).  It’s a shrubby tree that grows about 20-30ft tall here, and creates monoculture stands (read: it’s the only plant in the area).  Bugs don’t recognize it as food, and it tends to soak up available groundwater in such quantity that it kills our native trees during droughts due to additional stress. Where I live it’s considered invasive, though due to deregulation many types of ligustrum are used in landscaping.  Ligustrum originates from china, japan, and korea, and in these areas, it’s a fairly important plant (frequently used in nonwestern medicine, but it’s also been documented as a poison and an allergen, so….don’t try at home?).

Riparian areas–especially disturbed riparian areas–is where most escaped ligustrum is found. 

Ligustrum is notoriously difficult to remove. It’s got really large energy reserves in its root system, so if it’s cut down, the tree will re-sprout rapidly. There are ways to chemically poison it, but over vast areas that’s dangerous and very expensive.  Usually, the best method is to prevent it from entering the ecosystem in the first place– once it’s there, best efforts are really about controlling its spread rather than completely eliminating it.  I do think part of the issue is that it’s commonly used in landscaping, so there’s endless ‘stock’ revitalizing escaped populations.  Also, ligustrum leads the way for other invasive species to colonize more land, as it is extremely quick to mature and reproduce, thus choking out other native vegetation.  It’s a bit brutal to see. Anyway, it’s everywhere once you know how to spot it. 

One drop of good news: the seeds that enter soil tend to rot within the year if they don’t sprout– though, of course, individual trees may produce up to three million viable seeds. One thing they do is feed cedar waxwings, which I can’t really be upset by. However, outside of their original ranges, they don’t do much to support the new communities they’re in, and actively kill legacy trees.

Now, to your questions:

could you tell me a little more about your girdling method for ligustrum?

Sure! Very simple and satisfying. I’ve also included a video link– similar method to mine.

The goal of girdling is to disrupt energy flow from the leaves of the tree to the roots, causing the trees to starve and die. It usually take 6 months to 1 year to fully kill the tree, though I’ve seen the effects (leaf wilt, drooping) as early as 2 weeks after girdling.

Tools needed:

Paint scraper

Isopropyl alcohol in spray bottle, or soapy water

Rough sponge that’s fairly abrasive

Hedge clippers

Steps: 

Identify the tree. Look for glossy, dark green leaves with grey-green bark.  The edges of the leaves will light up when you hold them up against the sun.  The edges of the leaves are also smooth, not serrated, and they are opposite each other on the stem. Ligustrum also tends to have 2-8 mini “trunks” that support its branches. When flowering, its white, perfume-y, and the flower branches are sort of shaped like a triangle or a cone.

Their seeds are drupes, blue and similar to seeds from some species of juniper. Please don't eat them.

Clean the tree up– frequently there’s lots of growth around the base, with a bunch of tiny little branches that should be trimmed away. The hedge clippers are handy here.

Remove the outer layer of bark from one of the trunks with the paint scraper, all the way around. It should come up easily in the spring, but will resist strongly during the summer and winter.  You want to make sure that there’s at least a 5-6 inch gap between the top and bottom edges of bark. I usually go between 1 and four feet of space, when the bark is easy to peel up. This layer is about an eighth to a quarter of an inch thick, depending on the age of the tree.

Repeat this step to all of the trunks present.  Make sure that you remove the bark from all the way around each branch. This prevents it from scabbing over.

You’ll notice that the sapwood is slimy to the touch where the bark has been peeled away. This is a tissue layer responsible for generating more bark, and it must be scraped off, or else the trunk will scab over and recover.  Use the paint scraper to get rid of all of this material in a ring around the trunk, about 5-6 inches wide.  If you miss any, it will start drying a dark brown color on top of the lighter sapwood, and is easy to spot.

Make sure to remove all leaves and non-girdled branches that are below the cut / where the ring of bark was removed. This prevents sugars from being created by leaves that are still connected to the roots.

Finally, take your spray bottle of isopropyl and spritz each girdled band all the way around, and scrub it in with the abrasive sponge.

Congrats! It’s been girdled!

The tree will likely try to sprout new growth underneath the girdle bands over the next year. If you return and remove them before the stems become woody, the tree will die.

what age group is the ligustrum in when you treat ti that way and at what density in the stand?

I’ve girdled trees that are fully mature (30ft) as well as smaller saplings that are still part of the understory (8-10 ft).  Typically, I prioritize removing ligustrum within 20 ft of our legacy trees (oaks, pecans, hackberry that range between 50-200 yrs old). The project area’s pretty large, and has stands of trees with various percent ligustrum, probably between 10% ligustrum at the least affected areas and 85-95% ligustrum in most affected areas.  Most of my work has focused on areas with less than 50% ligustrum monoculture.  I’ve noticed that smaller trees tend to die faster when girdled, while more mature trees need to be checked frequently to prevent regrowth. This is probably due to large amounts of stored energy in the roots. 

 A lot of follow up is needed for these plants– about half of the ligustrum I’ve girdled so far has actually died, while the other half (while severely injured and on the way out) have needed new growth removed from their bases at least once, if not twice so far.  It’s a highly intensive process, and probably isn’t suited for large scale restoration projects, unless endless time and money is available. I just happen to be the right flavor of nuts to do this in my free time. You’ll need to check girdled trees at least once every three months for a year or so.

One thing that kills ligustrum pretty effectively are temperatures below 15 degrees F for a week or more, though larger trees will recover from the damage. Those kinds of temperatures clear out small 4-5 ft trees decently, and guarantee death for the 3ft bushes. If you figure out a way to selectively control the weather, let me know.

For trees below 4 feet, I use a tree puller to uproot them. It’s more efficient than girdling.  Also, snails really like climbing up ligustrum when it rains, so watch out not to smash them!

Thanks for the questions, feel free to reach out for more info!

Photos are from wiki commons and creative commons.

[heathtrash]

it's long been a theory of mine that the costume designers used traffic cones to form the felt hats

(nerd stuff under the cut)

i own a screen-used student hat (recognised the shape INSTANTLY when i spotted it on ebay - unfortunately with all the tww-identifying stuff removed. this was a couple of years ago and the seller had a limited number so i don't think you'd be able to find them now), and as i suspected, it's a steam/wet-blocked hat (i.e. stretched and shaped piece of felt rather than a seamed hat, hence not having a sharp point or seam line anywhere)

not all the hats on the show are the same pointiness and dimension, which is a nice attention to detail! it makes me think they had a set of cones like this to create variety (and also different sizes to fit adult/child heads). hecate's is particularly long and pointy and a very similar shape to the 15" cone, which i find very amusing indeed

the tww hat i have is literally 12 inches tall, and the tip is slightly deformed. you can notice this deformity on most of the hats in the show, which is a very clear sign that they are shaped from felt hat bodies that have been stretched over a form (in this case a cone). likely a combination of puckering from stretching and the lack of an actual point on the cone form made this deformity happen

mildred's hat, which is famously A Disaster, was either made from a hat that started off fine and then had dents steamed permanently in (probably by shoving a boot or something in and steaming and stretching around that), or had its own custom hat-astrophe form made

[asherlockstudy]

Did you give your thoughts about the colonoscopies? I would love to know your take on what was said and implied because I have some thoughts..

I almost didn’t do it but okay let’s go.

The Brolonoscopy (they pronounced it as Brolinoscopy?)

I will once more start with the puzzle piece reference. Let’s see the exact quote: “Well, the technical term is colonoscopy when a doctor explores your large intestine with a little camera to check for signs of cancer, polyps, gastrointestinal abnormalities, missing puzzle pieces. It could be anything.” Okay, with all the objectivity I can master, the possibility of this being a throw-away statement and not a reference to their own old video is, very seriously, below 1%. Let’s start from what the joke is on the surface. The superficial joke is the weird objects people insert in their rectum for sexual gratification. But why say puzzle pieces of all things? I don’t think I need to explain why a puzzle piece has a shape that is not meant to offer any pleasure but is sure to cause huge discomfort. Nobody (I hope) would like the idea of sticking a puzzle piece up there = 0% pleasure, 100% cuts and pain. So why go with puzzle pieces and not a million other objects that would have a more reasonable shape? Furthermore, notice that it is the ONLY irrelevant item Rhett mentions. He says cancer, polyp, other health abnormalities… and MISSING PUZZLE PIECES. He jumps to it straight away. It is not part of a series of items that have no business in your butt. He just says this one, in specific, all alone and nothing else. Lastly, of course this quote is from the scripted intro. No incoherence, no thoughtless blabbering. Scripted intentional statement.

The Link butt flashing is nothing truly important, it’s a throwback, Link had also done it in the brosectomy. Rhett looked the other way but there was also a cut there lol

I love how butt flashing Link thought Rhett was being indecent because a little bit of the shoulder was showing 😂

Let’s go to drugged up Rhett. The things he says are: a) using buttplugs regularly, b) eating a lot of hotdogs (although when sane he has said he doesn’t often opt for actual hot dogs), c) a man fond of looking and entering the asshole (although when sane he identified as a vagina fan man). So he spoke of three things and all were associated with anal sex and more so gay anal sex (hot dog). I think at some point Link’s embarrassment almost became genuine. There’s more to be said here but I will come back to this later.

Rhett was somehow so endearing when he was mumbling how Link complains about everything except peanut butter.

Link makes it clear he’s fine with something going up his dookie shoot.

Overall, sedated Link is more of a normally sedated person than Rhett was and there is stuff to be said about it. But first, let’s talk about the normal stuff: when Link is brought to during the colonoscopy, he initially is antsy, has discomfort, asks repeatedly if the doctor found anything bad, tries to move. Those reactions were normal. The only not normal one up to this point was wanting to canoe down a colon… But, again, there’s a lot more to be said.

“I’m glad we saved ourselves for each other and broke the seal together” intentional joke when Rhett was fully awake.

Link also said something like “I spent all my life with a cone up my ass” probably a metaphor of repression.

And now: THE REAL PART

As a person who has had an endoscopy with anaesthesia (maybe more than a regular dosage), a relative who had one with half the typical dosage of anaesthesia and a thug relative who did it with NO anaesthesia, in case you are young and vibrant and healthy, which I very much hope so, and have not undergone such a procedure yet, let me tell you something: regarding many parts of their incoherent sedation, THAT’S NOT HOW BEING INCOHERENT DURING SEDATION WORKS.

Link commented in the end of the video that he was more out of it than Rhett was and Rhett disagreed due to all the insane stuff he had said, for which he took no responsibility. The thing is, Link was telling the truth and perhaps intentionally. He was more out of it than Rhett. “Out of it” here means being more sedated and therefore more incapable of communicating or talking. And certainly NOT saying sexual and other supposedly crazy stuff with extraordinary detail. There is proof for that in the video, as spoken by the doctor, which was not edited out.

The doctor said Rhett took less medicine than the typical dosage is and, you know, doctors have the tendency to minimize pain anyway. Which means that for the doctor to be impressed that Rhett handled it so well, he was in fact not all that drugged up. The dosage that was given to him was apparently enough to numb the pain / discomfort but he was pretty conscious for most of the time. Compare it to Link, who was given more medicine and when they tried to wake him as much as Rhett, he had discomfort, was making motions and asking the doctor questions about his health. Link’s state was making a lot more sense. There are several cuts and edits during Rhett’s colonoscopy but in general I feel like he took one up for the team (literally) so that he would say certain things under the cover of incoherence. Like they said, they asked the doctor to use the minimum drug dosage so they could be as alert and conscious as possible - apparently Rhett was able to tolerate a lower dosage that inevitably made him remain more alert for a longer time. Bodies are different. In any case, Rhett took much less drug than his doctor expected him to need, which means he was able to communicate well and maintain an unusual level of consciousness during such a procedure. Besides all the sex jokes he made with full phrases, this is more obvious in the “Jessie” question. Here’s how sedation works: if you are in the state that you don’t remember your mother for example, you definitely also don’t remember the lyrics of an obscure song you listened to once. End of story. What happens with Rhett here is exactly that. He supposedly is incapable of remembering his wife but he has no problem remembering… let’s analyse this.

Doctor: So, Rhett, who’s Jessie? You got a tattoo.

Link: That’s his favourite proctologist.

Rhett: You’re talking about Jesse Pinkman?

Doctor: We got Jessie on your right buttcheek.

Rhett: … he was the right hand man of Walter White in Breaking Bad.

Link: No, they are talking about your wife, dude.

Rhett: Jesse James was a…

(Irrelevant chatter about endoscope going in.)

Nobody:

Rhett: Jussie Smollet was a…

Link: No, let’s not talk about him.

Also look:

Look at him. He is pretty alert. He looks at Link when he talks to him, he is wide-eyed, he raises his head. He also repeatedly looked to his right (our left) during the Jessie conversation. This was a bit. Perhaps the various Jessies were written on a paper there because he could have a problem remembering them on his own. When the endoscope was inserted, he was like “oh yeah hehe there it is, hello, ask for consent maybe hehe”. It’s funny, it’s inappropriate but IT IS NOT incoherent. It was a sex joke very suitable to the situation. He knew what he was saying at all times. Therefore, no matter how numbed he was, he was not enough to forget his own wife or repeatedly ignore the cues Link and the doctors gave him about her, all while listing a sidekick character from a show, a notorious bandit from the American civil war and a controversial but little known gay actor who staged an assault against himself and has mythomanic tendencies.

Link emphasises on the bit by saying to the doctor: “ I wonder if he’s gonna remember his wife when he wakes up. Because he certainly remembered every other Jessie he’s ever heard about”.

Like, okay? Trust me on this. Anaesthesia doesn’t work like selective amnesia. And few very particular amnesias work like remembering the obscure thing and forgetting the pivotal one.

This. Was. A. Bit.

And even Link’s embarrassment is parts real, parts a bit. Like, emphasising on how Rhett can’t think of anything besides buttholes.

Meanwhile, Link’s eyes are half-lidded and whenever the endoscope moves he tries to move and the nurses stop him. He’s on a bigger dosage and he’s more sensitive to this procedure than Rhett. Honestly, Link is just way more normal, I don’t know if Rhett was that hell of a champ or there was crazy editing going on. But Link is brought at some point more to as well. And then he says this:

“You know, Rhett, I am glad you are here for me. Why don’t we hold hands?” *Editing with a lot of stuff about polyps, business decision etc, at this point Link communicates well too* “I am so grateful that I get to have something shoved deep into my colon, in your presence… because you know that’s what life is all about.” Throughout this monologue, Link also looks somewhere at Rhett’s left and he is a little robotic. Maybe he was reading as well. This, too, was a bit.

And just like with all recent videos, this has similar vibes to another one. Let’s go back to the We Dug A Medium Sized Hole. As Rhett and Link dig with their shovels, Link says;

“You know, there is nothing I’d rather be doing now than digging a hole. Seriously, this is exactly what I want to be doing. And there’s no one else I would rather be digging a hole with.”

That’s all from me, you said you had thoughts as well, if they are additional or different, I would love to read them!

[hurtmemoreplease]

I struggle to define myself. I don't know who I am or how I am in other people's minds. But one adjective I have always identified with is... myopic. I mean yes, I like the word, but it's also just... it burns, how small I am. How limited my perspective is. I see the world in a tiny tiny cone, and there's so much infinitely more than that just outside of my view. There's fucking shrimp colours. There's perspectives that I can't imagine. There's people who find god and people who despise it and people who think their interpretation is right and no one else's could be. There's depths of emotions I can't imagine. There's suffering and there's joy and there's humanity and depravity that I may never understand the barest fragment of, even if I know about them. There's pain that I've never even considered enough to be empathetic about. Right now, every moment, there are seven billion people experiencing seven billion things and I am such a small, infinitesimal piece of that - I can't even conceive of the magnitude of the perspectives I don't understand. Doesn't it burn? Doesn't it make you mad, just a bit, that there's no amount of broadening your horizons that will let you grasp a fraction of that vastness of human experience? It's incredible and infuriating and I hate it and I love it and god I want it. I want to grasp it. I want to look around and know that I have no horizons left to cross, and there's not a damn thing I would hate more than succeeding.