#I never will be

[evilbookworm]

No I’m not getting over the gay clown movie and you can’t fucking stop me >:(

*broken sobs*

[queen0fm0nsterz]

some very mixed feelings and ages brought to you again by yours truly

[the-13th-battalion]

I'll be chilling and then I'll remember the way Nico Robin screamed "I want to live" and then oopsie I'm on the floor sobbing, completely overcome by hope

[asexualenjolras]

Ryan Kopel as Evan Hansen is one of the most incredible casting choices made in the world of theatre, and I need to talk about it.

Before I start, I want to preface by saying that I understand that Evan is a complex autistic-coded character. That being said, though, I really do see parts of myself in his character ... and especially in Ryan's portrayal of him. As someone that also has pretty severe anxiety and is autistic, it was really refreshing to see someone similar to myself, and my struggles, on the stage played with so much care and delicacy.

Ryan's Evan stims, he walks on his toes, he struggles with eye contact, he stutters over his words, he doesn't pick up on Jared's jokes and he looks visibly lost whenever he can't think of the right thing to say (or anything to say). And the thing that I found most interesting about his portrayal was the mask that he gave Evan whenever he spoke to the Murphys. He forced himself to speak even when he was struggling, and his voice would change to a deeper, more socially acceptable tone. His posture would change entirely, his stimming would become more subtle (little tugs at his shirt or strokes of his fingers) and he'd appear more confident, even though we, as the audience, know that he isn't.

Masking is something that I rarely see portrayed right, but Ryan as Evan did it so well. And I cannot get over it. I will not get over it.

And then there's the overstimulation that we see Evan Hansen go through: he puts his hands up over his ears, with his eyes darting around the room for an escape while bouncing on his toes and flailing around. His 'Words Fail' was on a whole other planet - the desperation in his voice and the genuine pain as he screamed the words. Oh. My. God. I'm never recovering.

I think my favourite thing, and the most important message that I've taken away from the show, is that Evan Hansen doesn't mask in the final scenes. He's completely himself. And that's okay. That's absolutely okay. You don't have to lie or change yourself to live and you will always be found.

Anyway, thank you to Ryan Kopel for (once again) taking so much care with the characters that you play. It really did make me feel found.

[oc-character-development]

Today marks one year since the end of my second favourite tv show.

One year since Endeavour ended.

One year since I cried my eyes out as my parents poked fun at me for crying over a tv show because I never do that (as far as they know) and I had to accept there will be no more (official) Morse stuff anymore.

I still am not over it and I still love the show to pieces so to mark the occasion and the fact I’m never going to be over this damned show, here’s a poster I made a while back for fun:

[speakofthedebbie]

sorry bout that last one gang

[moonspirit]

MAPPA. We've seen it. Now we need more of it.

COLLARBONES.

[gunsatthaphan]

:((((

[kugiscki]

throughout the day i randomly remember that nobara is alive and nobara antis across the globe are suffering because of that and i just can’t help but smile

[sashkapi]

I noticed these kbsd questions you’ve been receiving lately and i wanted to butt in because i’m a sucker to this show Yeahh

Say, any theory on how do you think kick and kendall met?

The idea in my head, kick had another failed stunt in dead man’s drop, went flying across the neighborhood and landed on kendall and was like “watch where you’re going next time blondie” “how is this my fault? You just came out of nowhere and literally just used me as a crash mat” is funny to me

PLEASE ASK ME MORE ABOUT KICK, I CAN LITERALLY TALK ABOUT THIS SHOW FOR HOURS AND I AM STARVED FOR A DISCUSSION SKDGJLDFKGJLDKFJHL

Yeah, I like that idea that they started butting heads even before they learned each other names. It's hilarious :D

Well, they're neighbors, so maybe they met when they were really young. Maybe Kick didn't came up with a nickname at the time so it would be another reason why Kendall calls him by his name. I also like the idea of them meeting when they were little kids because of this joke

Otherwise yeah, I think the "crashed into during stunt" is the most realistic way they could've met. And with Kendall stuck up attitude and Kick reckless behavior it was inevitable for them to become "enemies" sdlfkjdlkj

[thebookdragonshoard]

im supposed to be in bed asleep right now but im rereading my favorite novel again for the 4th or 5th time.

I’m Thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid.

and just… this man is a GENIUS, an absolute genius. i already have over 100 tabs in this book marking different annotations and quotes, but im STILL finding more things to annotate or mark.

i love this book. so much.

[kentoavenue]

[krayonders]

most tragic thing about letting people from real life follow me on tumblr is that i have to be soooo selective with the fear street i reblog because now ive gone and invited those guys to a movie marathon. i cant spoiler 1666 for them

[addictt-with-a-pen]

no one is ever going to want someone as broken and defective as I am, I will never be loved or cared for.

[nowshesdoingitallthetime]