#I never have to worry about same face syndrome with hands! They really feel so intuitively individual haha

[yandere-sins]

Stuck in the Nightmare

I really had to think about this prompt because what nightmare could be made worse by a small change? And then I remembered my Obey Me! Phase and how unsettling Barbatos always was to me. And I realized what I had to do.

Fandom: Obey Me! Pairings: Yandere!Barbatos x Reader Warnings: Yandere, Minor Sexual Content (Consensual Groping and Fondling, Mentioning of Sex) Forced Captivity, Abuse of power, Magical Stockholm Syndrom, Mention of breaking a darling, Depiction of feeling sick Prompt: @sintember Horrifying concept, thank you - A small change in the world could be a nightmare.

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

"Good morning, Dear."

Your lips curled into a sleepy smile as you felt Barbatos' lips press against your forehead, a kiss so tender it made you long for more. "Morning," you sighed blissfully, prying an eye open to see your boyfriend in all the glory of the morning sunlight shining through the window.

Moving aside, you made room in the bed for him to climb in, and you wasted no time sinking into his open embrace like you did every morning. No words were needed to speak about the happiness and love you felt when you were wrapped in Barbatos's arms, his time so precious, yet he spent every free second of it with you. And you reciprocated his affection as best as you could, squeezing your demon boyfriend until he chuckled about your efforts while you slowly worked your kisses up his throat and to his mouth.

Life's been better since you got to know him. Since you fell in love. Even if you had to spend most of the day apart due to his work, you were never happier waiting for someone to return to you. Barbatos was worth every minute of boredom, every hour of loneliness. He gave back thrice as much as you lost, wondering when he'd be home that night. Thrice as much effort, thrice as much care, and thrice the amount of true, unashamed love and adoration he held for you that you could never expect from a mere human. Although strange, you were thankful for your boyfriend being a demon, never once worried about all the implications it bore.

"What day is it?" you yawned loudly before nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. Barbatos brushed his hand over your hair, ever so slightly pressing you against him harder, showing you once again that he wanted you close to him just as much as you, him.

"Sunday, Love. Although it pains me, I'll be busy again today."

His embrace tightened around you a bit further, and it pained you to know how awful he felt about the fact he was too important to get even a single day off. Sometimes you cursed his employer, but Barbatos, gracious as he was, told you how much he cared about the prince you had heard so much about—good and bad. That he was grateful to be the right-hand man of such a great demon. You didn't really get it, but if it made him happy, you wanted to support him, no matter what. Even when it was the last day before you'd have to go back to work, too, and you'd rather spend it with him fully than to miss him like you had all weekend long.

Squeezing him back encouragingly, you nodded into his chest before releasing a long, content breath. "It's fine," you told him, rubbing his back as you felt the tension build in his body from your reply.

"I'm really sorry—”

"It's fine, Barbs. I know this is important to you, and I'm not running away. I'll stay inside today anyway since we're not in the human world, and I have this really good book I want to finish! And we can have dinner together or go star-gazing when you get home!

Immediately upon hearing your reassurance, Barbatos let out a shuddering breath. "I can't hide anything from you. Thank you for being so understanding."

"Of course!" Letting your head fall back, you caught his gaze, so full of tenderness and love, and felt your heart swell with the same wave of emotions. The kiss you shared was worth more than any confession and any thanks—mutual understanding, trust, a silent vow.

His hands brushed down your body, over the curve of your butt, giving it a squeeze that made you giggle against his lips. You gently scolded him for getting frisky with you before he had to leave. Barbatos couldn't help the playfulness in his voice as he promised, "I'll make it up to you and get your favorite food for you before I get to have a taste of my favorite thing in the world."

"Oh, you," you retorted, but the fake annoyance was quickly diminished by another kiss, your bodies heating up wherever they touched, making it harder and harder to get away while stoking the desire inside of you.

"I really got to go," Barbatos huffed against your lips, and you hesitated before pushing on his chest to separate you both.

"Then off with you, stop seducing me in broad daylight!"

He realized you were just joking around with him, yet, with another yearning glance, he briefly pecked your lips before tearing away, leaving an uncomfortable cold where he laid.

"I'll hurry," he assured you, and you smiled, sitting up in the bed. Truthfully, you already missed him, but you knew it was important to him, and so it was important to you.

"I know, don't worry about me."

"Thank you, Love."

With one last kiss to your forehead, Barbatos grabbed his coat on the way out, waving at you with an almost boyish grin. It was a side only you got to see, a side no one would expect from mysterious Barbatos. The real, vulnerable him, he could only show you. It made you feel special. You were special.

"I love you!" you yelled after him, and before he closed the door, he stuck his head through once more, beaming.

"I love you, too."

With that, he was gone, and you were alone in his home. Falling back into the cushions, you pulled the blanket and pillows around you, still faintly smelling Barbatos on them as they enveloped you in warmth.

Who would have thought you could love someone so much, especially someone not human? Sure, it sucked being stuck alone in the Devildom, but it would all be worth it when you got him all to yourself for the whole night again. A tingle went through your body, right to your core, where you still remembered the pleasure he had given you the night before. You could still recall the gentle, loving words he had whispered into your ear while, at the same time, making you see stars by probing and teasing the most sensitive spots on your body.

He wasn't just your boyfriend you doubted you deserved; Barbatos was also a lover beyond any imagination. Thrashing in the sheets, you couldn't believe your luck that someone like Barbatos loved you. That someone so amazing, wonderful, caring, and loving was yours. Because that's what he liked to call himself.

Yours.

All yours, with body and mind, for all eternity, devoted and reverently.

Your eyes filled up as the happiness overwhelmed you, the worries and agony of the past almost forgotten in the warm sunlight of the Devildom. Barbatos told you to stay indoors unless he was with you, and you couldn't wait for the day he'd take you outside and show you his city in all its beauty. Surely, with him by your side, nothing bad would happen to you, and you two would have the most exquisite experiences.

But that was a thing for another weekend.

Today would be a wonderful day of reading and waiting. Waiting for your Barbatos to return.

Slipping out of bed, you reached for the book on your nightstand, only for your fingers to hit the wood instead of the soft cover. "Strange..." you mumbled, vividly remembering putting the book right there on the nightstand. Or did you? Why did you remember reading in it before going to bed when it wasn't there?

Did you read it?

Looking over to the coffee table, you found your book sitting there. You suddenly remembered how you were reading on the couch the night before, then Barbatos coming home and taking you to bed after you had your favorite food.

"And I was reading on the couch because... it was Sunday. Huh?"

Didn't Barbatos say today was Sunday? You usually read your book in bed throughout the week, one chapter before bed being your credo. Taking the book over to the couch was something you only did on Sundays when you had no commitments and could fully concentrate on reading.

But why did you remember putting the book on your nightstand and reading it all day yesterday at the same time? That wasn't possible. Your own memories were betraying you!

"Ow!" a sudden, sharp pain rattled in your brain as you tried to make sense of your thoughts. It made you clutch your head as you collapsed on the bed, pulling in your legs as the pain began to overwhelm you. Something was wrong! You had to call Barbatos; call for help!

But you couldn't move as images flashed before your eyes, images of you laughing with your boyfriend, reading, having your favorite food. Again and again and again. The image of you putting the book on your nightstand was the most off-putting but real one you saw. You had no idea what was going on, but it hurt terribly. You couldn't even open your eyes from the pain, so all you could do was pray.

Barbatos's name was the last thing falling from your lips as you were knocked out by your own thoughts—your own memories. Memories of many days having passed by, all of them the exact same. And they haunted you, even in your dreams, with no chance of waking up without the man who loved you to shake you awake. Telling you everything was okay and it was just a bad dream.

Stuck in your own nightmares, never knowing you had been for a long, long time.

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"The how-many-Sunday is it today?"

"I'm sorry?" Barbatos looked up from the teacup he was pouring, only to find Diavolo watching him from beyond the rim of the report he was holding. The prince's eyes were sharp, almost unamused in how they scrutinized his butler.

"You heard me." Lowering the paper, Diavolo made space for the tea to be served, which Barbatos did without hesitation. "This new exchange student project is based on trust with the other races. How can I explain why I let my butler keep his personal human toy in a constant time loop, locked up forever in my castle, while I preach about harmony and equality? And besides, don't you think they need some time in the real sun for once? I heard it's bad for humans to be cooped up for so long. Longer than possible with their physic, at least."

"Young Master, you are mistaken. The human is my partner, we love each other. Nothing as sinister as you are hinting at is happening."

"Then why repeat the same day over and over? Do you really think I wouldn't know what the constant thrumming of magic in the room I have given you on your request to 'educate the staff' is? I'd wager to say we've known each other long enough to know about each other's dirty secrets, Barbatos."

Standing before him, Barbatos maintained his perfect posture and pristine look, paired with a smile on his face, as he watched his master sip from the tea he had prepared. "Very well, my lord. You are not entirely mistaken, although I must say..."

Tapping his chin thoughtfully, Barbatos pretended to think about something before the smile returned to his lips. A smile said more than a thousand words, and although he only wanted you to see his, Barbatos had to keep up the front.

"If we are talking about preferential treatment, shouldn't you be the first one to give up on their highness, the consort that none of your subjects know about? I feel unfairly judged, considering my amusement loves and adores me, while yours plays the part but fears you. Don't you think we'd be better off keeping these two our own responsibility?"

Diavolo's glare was deafening as the room fell into silence. He'd expected the blowback, although his concern for Barbatos's darling was justified after his own experiences. Lowering the teacup, he sighed, giving a short nod of defeat. A wise ruler knew when to back down, and although the circumstances hadn't been ideal, his beloved was the reason he wanted to unite the races in the first place

"Very well, I won't nag you," Diavolo announced. "Just make sure they don't realize the time loop, or else you know the mess it will cause. We've been through this. Sometimes, it's better not to pretend the world is fine. If they truly love you as you say, they'll love you regardless, even when they realize that the love of a demon can be overwhelming."

"61685."

"Hm?"

"That's how many days they've loved me. I loved them. This time, I won't fail my duties, Young Master. At least, not how I have to you."

Barbatos bowed, as Diavolo couldn't help the sad smile flitting over his face, remembering the wonderful days when his darling had still adored him, never knowing they were stuck in a repeat.

"Then, be careful, Barbatos. One small mistake, and they'll realize nothing was ever real. You better not fail... for their sake."

Taking the advice of the experienced prince, Barbatos returned to his righteous posture, smiling as if the conversation had been petty small talk. The life of a demon was long—it was longer when they were alone. But now that he had you, he'd never have to suffer the same loneliness that had driven so many of his kin mad.

"I will, Young Master. Thank you for the advice."

He didn't pity Diavolo, who had long lost his heart to the most pitiful of creatures—a human who realized the true monstrosity beneath the prince's forced gentleness. But Barbatos wouldn't let it come to this a second time. Wouldn't make the same mistake Diavolo had, misplacing one item which managed to break the spell. He had been too careful, too precise this time.

He wouldn't lose you to such a small mistake, and even if he did...

He'd keep you forever, even if that meant breaking your soul into a thousand pieces until only his love could keep you together.

[mizading]

REPLACEMENT

The poison of Akaza’s obsession penetrates you.

Yandere Akaza X Reader

Warnings: Obsessive/Yandere themes, Dark themes, Abuse, Stockholm syndrome

Summary: A failed mission to put an end to Akaza, one of the twelve Kizuki almost killed you. Instead of being rescued by your fellow hashiras, Akaza took you for his own. You slowly realize that you're merely a replacement. 

You awaken to the soft, uneasy breaths taken by the unknown presence beside you, causing you to jolt up. This was a mistake. You completely forgot about your unsuccessful battle that occurred not long ago; the pain you felt was enough for you to reconsider your position as a former demon slayer.

 "Please lie down; I can't have you getting too hurt love". 

“Love?” You said, turning to face the familiar voice that projected beside you. A cold sense of fear trickled down your body. At once realizing who the familiar voice belonged to, the demon in which you failed to get rid of. Akaza stroked your hair lightly, continuing his uneasy yet soft breathing pattern you had taken notice of before.

 "Relax; the tension in your body is starting to worry me. I couldn’t help but take you back here after you passed out.” Without thinking, you instinctively moved yourself as far away as possible. "Don’t run from me; it’s no use. I'm sure you know that by now, don’t you?". 

“What is it that you want..I don’t have anything to offer” you spoke, voice shaking slightly. Akaza crept up on you, picking your body up from the floor with ease, carrying you bridal style. "I don’t have time to deal with your childish behavior; I’m taking you to get dressed in clothes more fitting for you". Realization hit, and you realized how dangerous your situation really was. Not wanting to dig yourself further into this loop, you complied. As he was carrying you to what seemed to be a bedroom, you took time to look around what you assumed to be his home. It was more of a traditional style, with mainly wood on the inside and dimly lit candles. What caught your eye were picture frames with images of a woman on the inside. She was beautiful, definitely above average. Her expensive-looking pink polka-dot kimono stood out brightly in the photograph. As you study her, you also notice the man beside her; he looked awfully familiar. You quickly glanced at the demon carrying you and took a mental note of their similar appearance. They looked like twins, one just.. human.

You made it to the bedroom. Akaza softly placed you on a king-sized bed in the middle of the room. "Wait here for a moment while I grab your new clothes". Not wanting to find out what he would do to you if you moved, you once again complied. “Look, I don’t understand what this is about but please I just want to go home”. 

Akaza came back with what seemed to be a kimono. “I thought I explained this to you already? I couldn’t help myself, I've never seen anyone like you love”. Your eyes widen when you see the details of the kimono—pink with white polka dots. The same one seen in the photographs of the woman. 

"I’ll help you put this on, then I’ll work on your hair flower’. He then slowly started removing your clothes, taking deeper breaths as he saw more and more of your bare skin. “I didn’t ask for this, I’m asking nicely please, just let me leave”. You tried as hard as you could to suppress the fear in your voice. You still had slight hope that he would let you go.  

"You're so beautiful, I don’t think I can handle it; it’s taking everything in me to respect you and keep myself together seeing you like this". Your body slightly shook at the feeling of his cold, large hands caressing your soft, plush skin; he had a drunk, dazed look when staring down at you. It took all Akaza had to keep his intentions from becoming impure when it came to you. You're the first woman to make him feel anything since his wife Koyuki died; by this point, he’s not sure if his own former wife was able to make him feel such a way. 

The way you gaze at him, the way your pretty chest rises when you breathe, your soft touch, your beautiful smile that could put the sun to shame—all of it was too much for him to handle. He just needs you entirely.

 “You're being delusional just let me go.” Your meek sentence didn’t seem to affect him in any way. Akaza continued carefully wrapping your body into the different layers of the Kimono, despite your protests. 

The moment the two of you met, you did something to his heart. The fight that introduced you two ended shortly, Akaza knew you would be no match. With only a few hits, Akaza was able to knock you out into a short coma and bring you to his home.Throughout your week long deep sleep he took the opportunity to study you, study your body. With your presence, his once incomplete heart shattered by his former wife's death now felt whole again. For now, your only job is to replace his dead wife and stay with him, promising to never leave his side.  

Akaza finished dressing you and was now fixing your hair. You had to admit that the way his hands felt in your hair was enough to put you to sleep. He was so gentle with you despite the battle you two fought, however long ago. No matter how much you hate to admit it, his treatment towards you has been nothing but loving. He touched you as if you were fine china, one of a kind, and could break at any moment. In his presence, you got the strange feeling that nothing else could ever lay hands on you, even if attempted. You were uneasy, noticing how he was transforming you into the girl in the picture. Mustering up all your courage, you decide to ask who the woman was. Akaza hummed softly as he delicately pinned up your hair; he was in pure bliss just by being able to lay his hands on you. He hasn’t felt such love for another human since his wife, Koyuki. 

“A- Akaza..? You spoke softly.”

 "Yes, baby?" he hummed in response. 

The little name made you repulse. "Who’s the woman in the pictures around your home?" you said. He paused, resting his hands on your shoulders, massaging them slightly. You scoffed at the action, Akaza acting as if he didn’t kidnap you made your sanity drop even lower. Then he spoke. "Koyuki, a woman I once loved; she’s long gone now, so no need to worry, precious". No matter how he put it, you knew deep down that you were replacing her in a way; the way he dressed you up was enough proof.

 "Don’t worry about things like that Y/N soon you'll be replacing those pictures" said Akaza while placing a heavy, wet kiss on your neck. There was nothing you could do but accept his love and affection. You were simply no match, any type of fighting or protest beyond this point would be completely useless. It may even get you in more trouble.

You're already in too deep, and there's no escaping his "love" now. Akaza grabbed your face harshly, contrasting his previous sweet actions. He forced a hungry kiss onto your soft lips that revealed more than his words. “Stop! w-what are you doing” you frantically attempted to escape his harsh grip. Akaza still had a tight grip on your face, causing a stinging sensation in your cheeks.

 "Your mine; do you understand that? Trying to leave will have consequences". You had done nothing wrong..? Was playing into his game not enough for him? This delusion of his went on for weeks. You would dress up in Koyuki’s old clothes, and Akaza would pretend that you were his wife and always have been.

 Over time, you grew too tired to fight back. After months of Akaza being your only contact with another being, you slowly started to crave his touch, the way he coddled you, his dark but loving gaze, his love in general. You find yourself willing to do anything for a piece of his love; you desire and need it.

 “Akaza please! You pleaded, I promise to be a good girl, just don’t make me sleep alone again”.

 Earlier that night, you accidentally broke a plate during dinner, dropping it. His punishments for you were harsh, especially if your mistake disturbed the "perfect wife" role you played for him. Sleeping alone was one of the worst punishments; you needed his touch. Having nobody to come save you and no chance of escaping guaranteed your stay here.This was your new reality.  Being a replacement didn't matter to you anymore. You would do it all for him, as long as he kept his love for you. 

The poison of Akaza's obsession consumes you entirely; you need him more than ever now.

Word Count: 1493

A/N: Thank you for taking the time to read! This is my first story so bear with me. Feel free to leave me any type of criticism. Requests are open and I'm always available to chat about whatever. 

[shirefantasies]

Okay this is probably a really stupid and hyper specific request, but I really want to see it.. What about the Fellowship (plus Faramir if you wouldn't mind) with a reader who's really sensitive to the cold? Specifically in their hands too.

I have a weird medical condition called Raynaud's Syndrome where, when I get cold, my hands lose all circulation and essentially risk dying from blood loss (something about the blood vessels constricting in the cold) so I personally have to wear at least 2 pairs of gloves when going out in under 50°F weather. It's annoying as hell, and I just imagine the reader on the quest trying to hide it but someone notices they're wearing like 3 pairs of gloves or how their hands are freakishly ice cold and getting worried.

Sorry if that's too specific, it's just -5°F here so I'm thinking about it. I love your blog, keep up the amazing work and take care of yourself sweetie!

Nah, not stupid at all! Besides I've seen much more specific requests and scenarios 😆 this honestly has such opportunity to be a cute imagine though I'm vibin with it~ gonna do everyone cuz, well you know 😂 I use the term frostbite a bit just because they probably wouldn’t quite have the same medical understanding/terminology in Middle Earth lol

Cold Hands, Warm Heart

Aragorn

“There is no shame in it.” Starting, you peer up at Aragorn, probably looking for all the world like a spooked rabbit. “It is cold,” he agrees simply, nodding down to your hidden hands. “Yes,” you reply, wringing them and shuddering, “I suppose you are correct. Call it misfortune, but I am quite prone to its ill effects.” Immediately he reaches for your hand, brows raising at the ice he feels in your veins even through your pair of gloves. Half releasing you and gazing sadly upon your wince at the loss of warmth, Aragorn reaches into his pack and hands you a bundle with a faint sheen. Leather gloves. “These are much thicker. A bit unwieldy, yes, but I trust we won’t be doing much fighting in the snow. Take them, please, for they see no use with me.” “How can I thank you?” You smile at him, wonder coloring your eyes. “Simply wear them with joy,” he replies.

Legolas

“Do not worry,” Legolas spoke suddenly at your side, all but startling you save the sheer calm of his presence, “I have something for you if you’d like- a gift of the elves.” Cocking your head, you swiveled to face him, flushing as he stepped close enough for your hips to brush. A part of you wondered if he was doing it on purpose, but knowing him he hadn't even realized...shaking your head, you held out your hands to accept what he offered. It appeared as a kerchief, a small shroud of fabric with a faint, almost silky, sheen. "You may recall our cloaks hide us from hostile eyes? Well, this will keep the cold locked away from you tighter than anything. May I?" Such a gentleman. Smiling, you nod as he folds his gift gently over your hands, almost sobbing at the instantaneous difference. Experimentally you flex your hands, find even the strain of your joints diminished. Without thinking, you lean up and kiss his cheek, pulling away with shock to his smile. "And yet you still have a warmer gift for me."

Boromir

He sees the way you furtively grip your gloved hands, tries not to draw too much attention but gradually moves to walk at your side. “Are you in pain?” He asks with a slight nod to your hands. At that, you sigh and shake your head. “No, my hands are just quite sensitive. Since I was young I was told my risk of frostbite is great.” Eyes widening, Boromir takes one of your hands; you wince at the motion’s rush of cold only for it to melt into a smile at the way the pad of his thumb brushes over the back of it. “Why have you never told me?” “Because,” you shrug, “it sounds like I’m just complaining. My claim is not believable to most.” “Your words hold true to me,” Boromir replies with a smile, pulling a pair of gloves from his pocket, “here. You need them more than I do. Really, I insist.”

Gimli

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Chuckling faintly at the dwarf’s words, you finally break from your reverie, realizing you must have been staring oddly in a daze. The cold was getting to you and bad, snow flitting between your heads and caking onto your cloaks. The old, worn gloves you had were hardly helping, and in that moment you feared for loss of your hands to frostbite- perhaps that was the ghost you’d seen. With effort you peel your fingers from their fists and wince. “Ah! Cold, are you? Why, I’ve just the thing! We dwarves are quite thick in the hide, often hard to beat by a little snow! But that’s also because we know a trick or two,” he tells you with a wink, pulling two little sewn objects from his pockets. Resembling small pillows, they fall lightly into your hands. “Give them a shake for a bit, see if you don’t feel better! A great chemical trick from the mines, you see.” Frowning faintly, you humor Gimli, shaking his strange gifts in your hand until- warmth! Grinning, you shake more vigorously and sigh in relief at the heat and motion spreading back into your hands, which you throw around his neck. “I’ll never doubt you again, Gimli!” “Mind telling the elf that?”

Frodo

"Can we keep the fire going?" Frodo. He had made his way to Aragorn's side, and though that was all you heard beneath the wind and your premature mourning of the heat it seemed the hobbit was vying rather well, making a few gestures before the ranger gave him a nod. With a small smile Frodo returned to the log you sat upon, lowering down to take a seat at your side. "I saw how cold you are. Your hands have hardly left this fire. Aragorn agreed we can keep it so long as watch is kept," he told you, nodding down to the kindling saving your hands. "Thank you," you breathed, "I hope he doesn't think me frivolous." "And I hope you don't think me a gossip, for I told him you needed it. I-I just worried for you and could hardly stand to see you get frostbite of our accord." Endearment took over your face as you peered into the hobbit's eyes, saw the reflection of your fire flickering therein. "Oh, Frodo, I could never think that. You are no gossip, but a hero." And with that, you relinquished the fire long enough to put your arms around him, pulling him close and bringing a different kind of warmth.

Sam

“You look like you’re fit to catch your death of cold.” Turning from your focus upon your hands, you see Sam at your side and smile faintly. “Let’s hope not,” you joke back, “but I’ll be grateful for the fire once we get it started.” Digging in his pockets, Sam looks down for a moment before producing a scarf. “I figure even if I had gloves they wouldn’t fit you, but you could always wrap this around.” “I can’t take this,” you shake your head, “after all, what will you do, then?” “I’ll just sit right next to you and that’ll keep me plenty warm,” Sam responds with a sweet smile, "here." Matters settled, he winds his scarf tightly around your hands, keeping them in his for a moment, thinking, then finally pressing a kiss to them before he lets them go.

Merry

"Oh, no, you don't!" "Merry," you giggle, "I need to get my whittling knife from my pack!" "I can get it." Since the day you told Merry you were sensitive to the cold, particularly by the frost that overtakes your hands, the hobbit has quite insisted upon holding them in his at all times. Even if yours are larger, his are quite insistent and, bless him, warm. However, he barely understood that you could hardly walk with both your hands in his all the time, and the others had taken to giving you little smiles and shakes of their head and never calling one name without the other. "You ought to give up," Pippin chuckles your name with a grin, "Merry is quite used to keeping his antics going." "Antics?" Sam shoots back, crossing his arms and shaking his head fondly. "More like excuses. I know a lovestruck fool when I see one."

Pippin

“You should have told me you were cold!” Guilt flit across your features at Pippin’s words and, of course, his glance to your thrice-gloved hands. “Well, it’s just my hands, you see, I-” “Doesn’t matter,” he cut you off with a grin of warm acceptance, “no matter what of you isn’t comfortable, you have me to take care of you, alright? Now watch this.” You watched as he placed stones in Sam’s once-washed pot. “I’ve seen healers do this, usually on someone’s back but I figure heat is heat, right?” Giggling, you admit that he is right. “We’ll let these go for a bit before you grab them- can’t have you getting burned either,” he dotes, shaking his head and peering back from the fire to you with shining eyes.

Faramir

"Faramir, they'll stare," you protested as he began walking you out the door. "And when I tell them this is what the nurses ordered they shall feel quite remorseful," he joked back, continuing on your course. Heat rushed to your cheeks as you went out into the White City with one hand both in Faramir's and in his pocket. The other you kept in your own, supplemented for lack of your beloved's warmth by an extra glove. It was, in fact, not the same. "Besides, there are worse pockets for your hand to be in, no?" That comment was quite worth relieving your left hand of its pocket long enough to give Faramir a light smack on the chest. Opportunity struck, though, and he caught your hand in his free one, pressing his lips to the back of it. "Perhaps I am fonder of winter than I quite realized. Always did we prefer spring's hope of blossom to the dreary chill, but it would seem there are many advantages to take in the cold."

Eomer

“Why do you hide your hands so?” Direct. Eomer, it seemed, did not find your habit of tucking away from the cold as discreet as you did. You sighed. Fear crept along your spine alongside winter’s chill at the thought of the warrior finding you weak. Would he believe you or disregard your word like so many others? “I’m prone to frostbite, you could say,” you replied quietly, hands clasped. At that, Eomer tilted his head, fixing you as a sight entirely new to his eyes. “Let me see.” Suppressing a wince, you held out your gloved hands and tried to ignore the jolt you felt when he held them, thumbs running over the backs. Frowning, he spoke again. “This will not do.” That time, you winced, trying to pull your hands away, but his grip tightened as he continued. “The Riders have far thicker gloves. Let me fetch you a pair. Your hands are far too capable to lose, after all.” Winking, he made his way toward the armory with a smile matching the faint creep of yours upon your lips.

Haldir

"Is this why they were so reluctant to send you? I must apologize, I fought so hard on your behalf because I thought they doubted you, not this." You shake your head, eyes almost tearing up at the hurt on Haldir's face. "You could not have known. I...try not to tell anyone. They seldom believe me," you confessed, hands wringing nervously. The mission was outside of Lothlórien, away higher into the mountains where the chill could affect you. Of greatest concern to you, though, was how Haldir would react to a perceived weakness. His grace had you taken aback, though, as he held your hands, never pushed you, ensured you felt able to fight before sending you into the fray. Even when you stayed behind from danger you couldn't help but smile as his words. "This will never happen again. All I want is to keep you safe."

Eowyn

“This is beautiful, thank you,” you breathe, pulling a short length of luxurious fur from the box with wide eyes. This could not have been an easily attained gift. “You like it?” Eowyn smiles, enraptured at your joy and the way you eagerly nod. “Do you know what it is?” Grin fading a bit, you shake your head, regretting your ignorance especially if it is to come off as ingratitude. It does not, though, or such only fuels Eowyn’s glow further as she extends a hand over it. “A muff! See here!” Plucking it from your hands, she slides her own inside the fur, revealing its tube shape. Alight, you immediately stick your own hands in there, sheepish at the way Eowyn starts at the cold of them before holding them together beneath the warm, fluffy layers. “This is perfect,” you thank her, your head falling to her shoulder.

Arwen

"Your hands are cold!" "I-I'm sorry," you pull from her grasp sheepishly. "Do not be," she smiles and shakes her head, "It simply came as a surprise. Mine are often the same. Rarely do I feel it so." "Prone to frostbite as I am," you remarked, "my hands are likely colder than any you have felt before." "Meleth nín," Arwen's brow creased, "why have you never spoken of this before? Perhaps we should try something." Your own brow creased with a faint frown as the elf took you by the hand, off to one of the many rooms baths were drawn in. "Oh, yes," you replied, "hot water does help." "I am sure it does, but would you be willing to try something new?" Swallowing a spike of anxiety, you peered into Arwen's blue eyes and nodded, giving in fully to your trust of her. You could tell she wanted to keep what she was doing a surprise, standing completely over the small basin as she was, but soon she was taking your hands again, dipping them several times into thick, heavenly warmth. "And now," she told you with a grin, wrapping your hands in small covers, then heated towels, "we wait." Every muscle in your body relaxed as the sensation crept through your veins, up through your loosening hands and shivering deliciously down your spine. "What is this?" You asked, almost adding magic to the end of your question but feeling a bit too foolish. "Wax of all things," Arwen giggled, "and judging by your expression, it is helping."

Elrond

"Let me feel them." Elrond's voice is commanding, but not at all harsh, as he holds out his palms and accepts your hands. Immediately his thumbs curl over them and a light frown creases his forehead. He nods. "They are quite cold." At that, it is your turn to nod as if to say I told you so. "The storm is to last for several more days. Come with me. Please." The last word upon Elrond's lips is one of the softest you've heard, drawing you up from your seat and after him without a single thought. You follow the flow of Elrond's robes down a corridor and into another room, this one with a crackling fireplace and the softest-looking bed you've ever seen. "What is this," you cannot help joking, "my winter prison?" Before you hear the lord of Rivendell, you feel him, his form drawing nearer until his chest rests against your back. "I prefer to think of it as our getaway," he replies in a low voice, hands falling upon your shoulders.

Lindir

Lindir’s face fell at the frustration upon yours, the way your hands shakily dropped from his harp. He was to teach you as you’d wished, but your hands were not cooperating with you. “You seem a bit stiff. May I?” Confused more than anything, you look up at him and nod. Reaching over, he takes one hand in each of his, brows shooting up the moment you touch. “Well, no small wonder! Your hands are like ice.” “I know,” you agree, gaze falling from Lindir’s dark eyes, “they get like this with every chill of winter.” You see the way Lindir straightens, the surprise crossing his face and creasing his forehead. “Then let us move inside,” he replies, massaging your hands gently in his, “and I will hear no more talk of lessons until we’ve drawn you some warm water.”

[sunflowerhae]

Ch. 17 FTCU by Nicki Minaj

Haechan stands beside you, feeling like he’s on cloud 9 as he sways to the beat of the drums. Here he was with all his best friends, watching a free show for a famous artist with a model, two youtubers, and you - his idol and crush..and friend. If you had told Haechan he would be in this position 6 months ago, he probably would have laughed in your face and told you to get fucked. But regardless of that, here he stands, right by you. Typically, when you’re in a room with him, haechan can’t help his eyes from casting their long gaze towards your face. It’s almost instinct on his part; a primal part of him that can’t keep his attention away from you for more than a minute. Even now, as Mark pulls him away to ask him something along with Jaemin (the two seem to be getting on just peachy) he still is acutely aware of every movement you make.

You couldn’t stop yourself from crying.

Watching your best friend of 5 years complete a life dream of hers by finishing a world tour is not a sentence one says everyday, so when you watch Giselle finish her final monologue to the crowd and transition into her second to last song from your spot in the balcony room, you can’t stop the tears that threaten to spill. You look around briefly, noticing that haechan left his place beside you in favor of Mark and Jaemin. You try your hardest to hide the pout that makes its way to your face, shaking off the sick feeling that grows in your stomach from haechan stepping away.

It’s just a stupid crush, y/n.

Can you be blamed, though? In the 6 odd months that you’ve lived in your apartment building - sharing a wall with the boy your eyes can’t leave - Haechan has somehow found a way to nuzzle himself into your heart, setting up camp and using pieces of your sanity to make a tent. Whenever your expectations dip and you try to rationalize your friendship with him, Haechan turns around and exceeds your needs tenfold. It’s almost like the boy knows everything about you, with how much he gets right. He always seems so…aware of what you want and how to get it.

You don’t realize you’re staring until your line of sight is cut off. Looking at the face of the person who stepped next to you, Karina is smiling back while holding out a beer for you to take. “Well, they seem pretty happy right now,” she gestures behind you as you take the beer from her hands. Turning around, you see Winter trapped in Jeno’s arms, swaying to the music as he whispers something in her ear that has her throwing her head back in laughter. You sigh, jealously creeping into your heart at your best friend’s love.

“Yeah, they’re usually like that. Although it’s gotten worse recently, I will say,” you say while laughing, turning back around to see Karina doing the same, “I can’t be mad when I see them, though - just jealous.”

Karina quips her brow up at you, “no one special in your life, y/n?” You look back at her in surpise, which she seems to take as anger, “not like you don’t have anyone special or anything! Just, are you single is all I mean..” she trails off, obviously experiencing a severe case of foot in mouth syndrome. Karina internally hits herself on the head - she really liked you and your friends, and although she would never admit it she can’t help but feel intimidated by all of you. She would hate to ruin the chance of friendship with her bluntness that people typically aren’t fans of. Before she can apologize, she is surprised when you start laughing.

“No, no! You’re okay don’t worry I got what you meant. No, nobody special right now. But with my schedule it probably wouldn’t work out. Any free time I have is usually spent being lazy, or satisfying haechan and his need for attention.” You laugh while rolling your eyes playfully. Just then, the spot to your right is taken by Ningning. You liked her, she was so sweet and you couldn’t help but find her love for coffee endearing. When she told you about her desire to open her own coffee shop, you saw a lot of yourself in her; a girl with dreams who wants to be her own boss. As if feeling a kinship between the two of you, her presence eases away some awkwardness you felt almost immediately.

“Ahh yes, we know a lot about Haechan’s neediness. It’s nice having you around because you take a lot of heat off of our shoulders!” She exclaims, which causes the three of you to go into a fit of giggles, your heart growing warmer thinking about the boy so easily replacing them with you - it’s nice to feel so wanted.

“Oh yeah, I get it. I told him the other day he uses me like a girlfriend or something,” you recount the day, trailing off somewhat awkwardly as you remembered the embarrassment that followed from that sentence leaving your mouth. While you and Haechan played with each other freely, not really having filters in what you’ll say, that one took the cake and you couldn’t help but feel a little proud, as it was the first thing you’ve ever said that left the tanned boy completely silent. The two don’t seem to notice your sudden uncomfortable nature, or if they do they don’t acknowledge it. You watch Karina’s eyes go wide as she smiles,

“Oh my god remember when we met and you thought I was Haechan’s girlfriend!” The two of you laugh while Ningning seems surprised.

“Wait, what? Did I miss something? I didn’t know you guys have met before…” Ningning seemed somewhat betrayed as she stared at the both of you with wide eyes.

“Ning I’ve told you about this, girl! Y/n thought me and Haechan were together when I was there one day to study with him,”

“-yeah it was just a misunderstanding. Haechan cleared it up though!” You finished, nodding a bit as you watched Ningning’s gears turning in her head. Her eyes go light as she bursts out in laughter, picturing something funny in her head.

“God - imagine Karina and Haechan! I know for a fact Karina would never go for him, right? And vice versa too, you’re just not his type - no offense though,” she pouts at Karina, the former rolling her eyes as she tunes out the conversation and focuses on Giselles music. You find yourself hyper aware of this conversation, oddly invested. You also note that Ningning is on her third beer, and is slightly more intoxicated than you. “But it wouldn’t matter regardless!”

“Why not?” You press, instinctively leaning closer into the brown haired girl as she takes another swig of her beer before continuing her thought.

“Well, haechan has a really big crush on this girl he knows, so he would never go for Karina!” You can see the realization sink into Ningning’s eyes as she processes her own word vomit. Karina, having heard just the tail end of your conversation, snaps her head over to the two of you - suddenly becoming an active listener in this doomed interaction.

You’re not sure if your face showed it, the devastation. Maybe you liked Haechan a lot more than even you realized, because at the mention of some random girl he seemingly liked, your stomach felt as if it had been sucker punched by a WWA fighter. You tried your hardest not to wear your heart on your sleeve, just giving a slight nod and a deflated, “oh, that’s cool…”

Yeah, good job with that y/n.

Ningning can see your disappointment, even if she doesn’t understand it. Maybe you’re upset that Haechan didn’t tell you? Of course, why would he tell you - it’s you that he likes. But, you don’t know that, so of course it would upset you. She realizes that she needs to cover her tracks, at the very least so you don’t go moping to Haechan and get her in trouble.

Giselle ends her second to last song and fades into her final and most popular, the crowd screaming while Ningning actively leans in closer to you to make a point to say, “well he likes her but she doesn’t really know so there’s probably not a great chance for them! But you should ask Haechan about it - I mean he’ll definitely tell you because he’s like obsessed with you. NOT IN A WEIRD WAY or anything! Just like..normal obsessed like how people are obsessed with their friends! But like yeah that girl he’s OBSESSED with in a romantic way and he really wants her he talks about her like alll the time..BUT yeah you should ask him if you don’t know because he’ll definitely tell you about it yknow..haha yeah..anyway I’m gonna go get some water BYE Y/N!” And with that, she quickly retreats to the snack table, hitting herself on the head as she realizes she just made things much much worse. With a sigh, you turn back to the concert. Karina gives you a look of confusion, not having heard the last thing Ningning said over the crowd screaming. You shake your head with a small smile, trying to act like it’s all cool, trying to act like your heart isn’t breaking.

Haechan likes someone. He likes a girl and he didn’t even tell you. You’ve gotten to know him so much over the last 6 months, you hang out almost every day and tell each other everything. He’s been in multiple videos now and the fans love him. You eat dinner together all the time and have a tv show that you watch together and get mad at each other if someone watches ahead. Haechan is your everything, and he didn’t even tell you he had a crush on another girl.

Giselle and winter were right, you should have never gotten this involved with him. You should have protected your heart and realized you cannot date your neighbor. There’s so much you should have done, but as you turn your head and lock eyes with his brown gaze - he grins at you in a boyish manner like the both of you have a secret that only you two know - you don’t think it was ever possible to not get this far with him. Haechan has possessed your mind and heart completely, and you let him.

What a stupid crush, y/n.

GG! (Good Game!) 👾

Notes: yay everyone met‼️ guys it’s getting spicccyyyy

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[galaxy-fleur]

question of the day:

u think Leon is the type of (girl)dad that suffers heavily from empty nest syndrome and if you do, how badly?

Oh, definitely. Again, I'll be writing this out with post-Death Island Leon in mind!

Alnost any parent finds it difficult to accept that their child is now a completely independent adult who can live their life on their own. Some parents find it more difficult than others. I do see Leon sorta falling into that category. It's not necessarily about the possessiveness or losing his role as a parent on his part, as I honestly think that he's the type of father that will be genuinely proud to see his kid thriving on their own. As long as he sees his child happy, he is also happy.

In Leon's case, it's more about the passage of time and his worries for his child's (in this case daughter's) safety. It'll probably hit him all at once: that his kid is actually and truly an adult now. It's one thing to have her turn 18 while still living under his roof, and it's completely another to personally help her pack up her belongings and then move in into a place of her own. Whether it's just a dorm room, or a full apartment. The reality hits him straight in the face right there, and it can be a bit of a pain to sort out.

Even though he is aware that this is not the end but rather the start of something new, it nevertheless stings to know that things will no longer be the same. He'll also get smacked in the face with realization of his own age, figuratively speaking. He wasn't feeling all that old while his daughter was still living with him, but when she's out on her own, and he's forced to look back on everything? Yeah. He'll have a good, long moment of juat sitting down in silence and reflecting on his life, feeling kind of old as hell now. Most likely holding a glass of whiskey (nothing over the top tho! He won't fall into his old habits like this!)

On the other hand, there's also the issue of him no longer being right there in case she gets in trouble. Now, I do think Leon sort of mellows out with his protective tendencies over the years if he gets to live out a simple, safe life with his family. However, they will never really disappear entirely. After all, it's just another way he shows his affection. Even though he occasionally goes too far. The idea of not being there when she might need him gnaws away at him more than anything else does. It scares him. What if she needs help with something? Like, what if her sink gets clogged, and he's out of touch? What if she gets in trouble with some shady people? Young people are notorious for being too naive for their own good, after all. What if she just has a bad day at school or at work, and he can't be there to cheer her up or be a shoulder to cry on? What if she get hurt?

It's easy for these types of 'what ifs' to spiral way out of control to the point of absurdity for someone like him. I'd say that's probably the biggest obstacle for him out of all of them.

Of course, there's also the newfound loneliness. The house seems that much more empty and quiet: no usual evidence of his kid being there now. Even the ones he used to find annoying. No music coming from her room, no plates left in the sink, and no soda cans taking up room in the refrigerator. It's like a piece of his home is missing, and that's hard. This feeling of loneliness comes and passes in waves. Stronger at times, weaker at others. He'll probably avoid her room for a week or two, though, when it's especially hard for him. In order to avoid being overly emotional. He has to actively fight back the impulse to dial his daughter up every few hours or so, not wanting to annoy her. And he does understand that she needs to carve out a path for herself.

It's just... hard.

Fortunately, all of this can be managed. I do feel like his partner will be a huge pillar of support for him in this challenging time as he adjusts to the new reality. It's not all negative. Now they have the entire house to themselves, at least. It serves as a strong incentive to focus on one another. Maybe plan some romantic dinners to bring back memories of the younger years. Or even renovate the yard. Keeping his mind off the absence of his kid is a good way to keep his spirits high without getting all down in the dumps over it.

There is also a newfound sense of understanding to be built between him and his daughter. Perhaps they share a few heart-to-heart talks about it all before their move. That way, they can both get ready for the day it does finally happen and help each other out in small but meaningful ways. Daily calls are a great way to ease Leon into all of this. Hearing his little girl talk about her days to him - whether it's her gushing over something exciting or ranting out her frustrations - is a wonderful way to remind him that just because she is not physically there anymore, their relationship remains as strong as it was.

In a way, it's a clumsy period of change for everyone involved. And that's something that can bring their family even closer together in the end. Also, you can absolutely bet on the fact that Leon will give out the biggest bear-hugs ever when his daughter comes over to visit. That's a must.

[yurizzsblog]

Facing Fears:

Conquering a Phobia:

Character A: "I've never told anyone this, but I'm terrified of heights. Just the thought of looking down makes me dizzy."

Character B: "We’re going to that rooftop party tonight. Maybe facing your fear head-on will help?"

Confessing a Deep Fear:

Character A: "Every night I worry that I’ll never be good enough. That fear keeps me up, you know?"

Character B: "I had no idea you felt that way. What can I do to help you see your worth?"

Preparing for a Major Challenge:

Character A: "I'm so scared to give this presentation. What if I mess up in front of everyone?"

Character B: "You’ve prepared so well for this. Let’s go over it one more time together, okay?"

Overcoming Past Trauma:

Character A: "I haven't been able to step foot in a car since the accident. The fear is paralyzing."

Character B: "What if we start small? Maybe just sitting in the car with me for a few minutes?"

Facing a Medical Procedure:

Character A: "The surgery is tomorrow, and I can't shake off this fear. What if something goes wrong?"

Character B: "I’ll be there the whole time. We’ll get through this together."

Confronting a Fear of Failure:

Character A: "What if I fail and let everyone down? The fear of not succeeding is overwhelming."

Character B: "Failure is just a stepping stone to success. You’ll learn and grow from it no matter what happens."

Dealing with Social Anxiety:

Character A: "The thought of going to that party fills me with dread. I can't handle crowds."

Character B: "We can go together and leave if it gets too much. I’ll be by your side the entire time."

Facing an Intimidating Person:

Character A: "I have to talk to my boss about the unfair workload, but I'm so scared of confrontation."

Character B: "You deserve to be heard. Let’s practice what you want to say. You’ve got this."

Admitting Feelings:

Character A: "I’m afraid to tell them how I really feel. What if they don’t feel the same way?"

Character B: "Living with unspoken feelings is its own kind of fear. You owe it to yourself to be honest."

Taking a Big Leap:

Character A: "Quitting my job to start my own business terrifies me. What if it doesn’t work out?"

Character B: "You’ve got the talent and the drive. Sometimes the biggest risks lead to the biggest rewards."

Embracing Change:

Character A: "Moving to a new city means leaving everything familiar behind. It scares me to my core."

Character B: "Think of it as a new adventure. You’re braver than you think."

Confronting Insecurity:

Character A: "I’m so afraid people will see me as a fraud. I feel like I’m just pretending to know what I’m doing."

Character B: "Impostor syndrome is real, but remember how much you’ve accomplished. You’ve earned your place."

Overcoming a Fear of Rejection:

Character A: "I want to apply for that dream job, but the fear of rejection is holding me back."

Character B: "Every ‘no’ brings you closer to a ‘yes’. You miss all the shots you don’t take."

Facing a Fear of the Unknown:

Character A: "The uncertainty of the future scares me. What if everything goes wrong?"

Character B: "No one knows what the future holds, but you have the strength to handle whatever comes your way."

Dealing with Public Speaking:

Character A: "Speaking in front of a crowd terrifies me. My hands start shaking just thinking about it."

Character B: "Let’s go through it step by step. Imagine everyone in the audience is rooting for you."

[deceasedream69]

Bomb

This imagine takes place in 7x3

sumary: you're working on what appears to be a really mysterious case with your coworkers, until thing get complicated.

W: mentions of bombs and mental illness

_______________________________________________________-

-"What I'm saying is that it's possible that our unsub has what it's called "Capgras syndrome", Reid started to explain as we were investigating the unsub's childhood home.

-"What's that?", JJ walked towards Spence, Morgan and me next to him already.

-"It's basically an ilusion made by your eyes. You think everyone you know or love is not actually who you see. You get this "imposter" syndrome, where the rest of your senses are able to recognize your friends or family but your eyes trick you into thinking right the opposite. Now mix thinking everyone you love around you is an imposter with military training and you get... well, our unsub"

-"If this is true how should we proceed?", Morgan asked.

-"Is there a cure?", I looked at Spencer, maybe there was a way to save him after all.

-"there are treatments but not really a cure"

-"but what caused our unsub to get the syndrome"

-"it's cause by mayor brain damage like a tumor or...

"the car accident he had on friday", Spencer and I said it at the same time.

-"that'll explain why he's so calmed and focused, he's normal until he sees an "imposter", Morgan explained and Spencer nodded.

-"And he's looking for the last hope he has, his wife and daughter"

We went back to the BAU, informed by Rossi that our unsub kidnapped someone else we were thinking about options to get close to him.

-"I can't believe you can have someone you love so much in front of you and just...", I made a mimick of my head exploding. "it must be tiring and... so sad, you never really get to spend time with someone that you know"

I closed my eyes.

-"what are you doing?"

-"well I can recognize your voice..." I lifted my hands and started to softly touch his face. "You said you could recognize someone with the rest of your senses, like the touch", I smiled. "I can tell you're Spence"

-"you could just hear my voice, no need to get all touchy"

-"well your voice doesn't really allow me to see or... at least feel, your pretty face"

-"all set, let's call our unsub", Rossi intervened, but I could still see Spencer's red cheeks.

After the phone call we were all on edge, apparently they managed to find the victim our unsub was holding hostage but our unsub wasn't there, just a radio he used to trick is into thinking he was still there. But our worried grew even bigger when Penelope appeared.

- "a dead police officer inside Quantico was found"

- "inside?", Maybe I didn't listen properly, I hoped that was it but Penelope only nodded.

We were screwed.

The whole team entered in kinda panic mode, although no one would admit it. We had to get the unsub's wife and daughter Ina safe place inside the building. Rossi, JJ and Spencer were still in the desk area but Hotch sent me to grab some things from his office.

Rossi pressed the call option again, hoping to hear the unsub's phone ringing to at least have an idea about his location.

- "Luke?", Rossi asked.

- "now I want you to listen to me very carefully, we both know we don't want to make such a mess"

- "what do you mean by that?"

He pushed me out of the office, his hand grabbing my neck to guide me, and the bomb strapped to my shoulders falling onto my chest. I lifted my hands to show our team I wasn't armed, he hid himself behind me, holding a little remote on the other hand.

Morgan and JJ instantly got their guns out.

- "no!" Reid yelled at them, Rossi analyzing the whole situation, I decided to just stay silent, looking at the floor.

- "Now, no more tricks, or your agent here, along with us, is gone. Where is my wife and daughter?"

- "Luke?", A woman's voice sounded through a microphone.

- "sweetie? Is that you? Are you ok?"

- "yes, we're fine and safe, would you please let this innocent people go?"

- "go? After what they're doing to you?"

- "daddy, please, I want to go home", a little girls voice sounded this time, she sounded scared, and so was I. Lifting my gaze slightly to at least look at my team one last time, he tighten his grip on my neck, making me look back down.

- "please let them go, honey"

- "we can reunite you again with your wife and daughter", Spencer intervened. The team looking at him. "But you have to keep your eyes closed"

- "what?" He said grabbing my neck tighter.

- "ok... You- you have this syndrome, called the capgras syndrome, your eyes, basically, are playing tricks on you, making you feel like everyone around you is an imposter, but you just have to close your eyes"

- "please, darling, close your eyes and I'll come out"

- "please, daddy, close your eyes"

I couldn't hold the pain in my neck anymore, biting my lip to suppress any kind of whine or sound that could escape.

- "but you need to let our agent go", Rossi tried to get closer to us, but he pulled be back. After a few seconds, hesitating, he let me go. A couple of professional guys wearing suits grabbed me and took the bomb off me. I felt so relieved.

The unsub closed his eyes and was handcuffed, the wife entered the room, warning him to not open his eyes.

I fell to the nearest chair, my breathing uneven and my shoulder hurting as fuck.

- "hey, are you okay?", He kneeled before me.

I shook my head and let the tears flow as I rested my head on his shoulder, his hand stroking my back slowly.

I could hear the commotion at the background but I decided not to pay attention to it, I'll catch on it later.

Spencer and I stood there for a moment. Morgan tried to approach to ask me how I was feeling but Spencer shook his head so he decided to give us space.

- "how are you feeling?", He said stroking my head now.

I sniffed.

- "I was... Scared"

- "honestly", he voice was really soft, like he was whispering, "I was scared to, scared to not see your pretty face anymore either, not even being able to feel it", he said running a few fingers over my cheek. I smiled and closed my eyes , trying to steady my breathing.

- "it's all over, let's go home and get you some sleep", he said helping me up.

The end :)

[hbyrde36]

Life is a Game (and True Love is a Trophy)

Chapter 9

Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 ao3 link

*Eddie*

Eddie pressed his fingers to his mouth as he walked down the front steps, still feeling the ghost of Steve's soft lips against his own. He felt like he was walking through a dream, instead of the nightmare that his life had become in the past 24 hours. Though that feeling began to drift away rapidly as he got into his fan and drove away from the trailer, and Steve and Eleven. 

Once he was alone, with nothing to distract him and no sound other than the hum of the engine, Eddie couldn't help but start spiraling, just a little. 

Could Steve have really meant what he said, when it was far more likely that he had just latched onto Eddie because he was the first person who’d helped him after two years in what was essentially captivity?

Did Steve actually like him, or was this some kind of Stockholm Syndrome thing?

No, that was for kidnappers.

Florence Nightingale syndrome?

It was a slightly better match, but it wasn’t as if he’d nursed Steve back to health or anything. 

Okay, so maybe there wasn’t a fancy name for it, but the two of them had been pulled together under wild circumstances. Was it so surprising that they might cling to each other as anchors for their respective ships in this storm?

A little, considering they were both boys and he had been 100% sure that Steve Harrington was straight, right up until the moment he’d kissed him!

Eddie knew, at least for his part, that it was more than a thing born of shared trauma. He’d been crushing on Steve for years, and had fantasized about kissing him countless times. The reality of it had been better than he could have ever imagined, too good to be true in fact, or maybe that was him projecting his own fears.  

It was a scary thing to be handed everything you ever wanted, and even more frightening to accept it when you’ve spent so long being absolutely sure that it would never be an option.

As he pulled into the high school parking lot he decided to just put the whole thing out of his mind for now, as best he could anyway. There were much more important things to worry about than his love life.

The bell rang, and he watched from his parking space as students began pouring out of the school. He spotted Mike and Will first, the two of them having grown so tall this year that they stood out from the crowd. He peered behind them, knowing Lucas and Dustin wouldn’t be far off. The four boys were rarely without each other, except when Lucas had basketball practice of course. Which he must have today, Eddie realized, when he found Dustin bringing up the rear on his own. 

He stepped out of the van and made a beeline for the boys, wanting to catch them before they got on their bikes and took off. 

“Hey shitheads!” Eddie shouted, hands formed around his mouth to boost the sound.

All three boys whipped their heads in his direction. Dustin’s expression morphed from a wide happy grin into a worried frown in an instant. Mike and Will just looked confused. Eddie jogged the last few feet to them, in a hurry to get everyone on board and get back home as soon as possible.

“Is everything okay?” Dustin asked, at the same time Mike said, “Where were you today? 

“Everything is fine” Eddie began, holding significant eye contact with Dustin, then looking at the others. “But there is something back at the trailer that I need you all to come see.”

Dustin gasped.

“What is it?” Mike asked, sounding annoyed.

Will was quiet, watching it all go down with a slightly amused smile on his face. He was definitely in the running to be Eddie’s favorite today.

“All will be revealed in due time, young Wheeler. Go throw your bikes in the back of the van. I’m gonna see if I can snatch up Sinclair before his practice starts.”

Mike opened his mouth, either to ask another question or to argue, but Dustin elbowed him in the ribs and told him to hurry up. Will had already unlocked his own bike from the rack and was walking it towards the parking lot. 

Yup, favorite kid. 

Eddie set off in the direction of the gym. He opened the door only to see Chrissy who had just come from the girls' locker room. It was perfect timing. 

She smiled at him and ran over, her sneakers squeaking on the court as she did. 

“Eddie! You weren’t in school today. You okay?”

He smiled in return. Chrissy was a literal ray of sunshine and he couldn’t help but react to that, no matter how weird his day had been.

“Yeah, I just had some family stuff to take care of.”

He scrambled for a way to ask her to come with him. If things did pan out the way they feared, she was in very real and immediate danger, and he just couldn’t imagine letting anything happen to her. 

He didn’t really want to give anything away until he could prove it, and there were too many prying eyes and ears for him to just blurt out - I found Steve Harrington in the woods! But he had to try something.

“I know you’re about to start cheer practice,” Eddie began, “But…uh, do you remember all that stuff we talked about in the library?”

Her smile faltered a bit but she nodded encouragingly.

“There’s been some developments and I'd really like to fill you in on what I found out, if you wanted to come back to my place? The boys are coming too, my cousin and his buddies.” He added quickly, worried that she might somehow take his invitation the wrong way.

Chrissy glanced nervously around the gym, and he was pretty sure she was about to agree to go, when two things happened at once. The outer doors swung open loudly, revealing Dustin, Mike, and Will, who must have gotten tired of waiting and came to look for him, he guessed, while the door to the boys locker room was also thrown wide as the entire basketball team came trotting out. They were buzzing with pent up energy and Jason Carver was at the head of the pack. 

He spotted Eddie immediately and rushed over. With no hesitation the jock planted himself between him and Chrissy.

Jason crowded Eddie as he shouted in his face, “Get away from her, freak! She doesn’t want to talk to you. What are you even doing here?”

“Jason, stop!” Chrissy shouted.

He waved her back dismissively. “No, no, it’s alright babe, I got this.”

Eddie grit his teeth, fuming, and not only because of the way Jason was talking to him, he could deal with that, but the way he was so openly dismissive of his girlfriend. Someone he was supposed to love. Chrissy deserved better.

“What is it, Munson? You like to watch the girls while they practice, huh? You got a thing for looking up their skirts?” Jason accused loudly, then lowered his voice to a sinister whisper.  “Or is it the boys locker room you’re more interested in getting a peep at?”

It was a dangerous accusation, and it unnerved Eddie a little that Jason might have suspicions about him. If he’d said what he did a little louder, there might be a lot more guys looking to jump into this fight. He tried his best to ignore it like he would any other barb, but it was an effort to keep from overreacting and rising to the bait

“Oh fuck off, you neanderthal. We were just talking.”

“What did you call me?”

Eddie looked at Chrissy over Jason's shoulder and rolled his eyes. She stifled a giggle, stopping abruptly and going wide-eyed when Jason turned his head to glance back at her.

“Don’t worry about it, Carver.” Eddie answered. “Now, if you would just kindly back the fuck up so I can finish my conversation with the lovely Ms. Cunningham here, I’ll be out of your hair in a jiffy.”

“I don’t think so. What makes you think she wants to talk to somebody like YOU anyway?”

In Eddie’s defense, it had been a long and mostly no good very bad day. He stepped into Jason, closing the very small gap that remained between them until they were almost nose to nose. 

“And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” He said, jabbing the other boy in the chest with his finger.

Jason shoved Eddie away from him hard. He stumbled, but Will, Mike, and Dustin were all there to steady him.

“Stop it, Jason! He's my friend!” Crissy shouted again, still hovering but trying to stay out of the way. This time her boyfriend either didn’t hear, or completely ignored her. 

Eddie shoved Jason right back, pleased when he had to take a step back to maintain his balance. Unfortunately, Eddie hadn’t really been in that many fights. Guys usually took one look at him and backed off, assuming he carried knives and shit just because he wore leather and a battle vest. He was briefly a drug dealer, so maybe that had something to do with it too. So, he was a little unprepared for Jason cocking back a fist and punching him square in the face. 

Chrissy looked like she was about to jump on Jason’s back to stop him but suddenly Lucas was there. He caught Jason’s arm, stopping it before he could land another hit.

“I knew you weren’t really one of us Sinclair! I should never have told the coach I had a good feeling about you! I’ll have you thrown off the team for this!” Jason shouted.

He shrugged himself roughly out of Luca’s grip and walked back over to where the rest of the team was doing warm ups and pretending not to watch the drama unfolding in front of them. 

Chrissy looked torn. She watched Jason walk away, bouncing her eyes between him and Eddie as she gnawed on her bottom lip. 

“I’m sorry,” she finally said to Eddie. “I don’t know why he gets like that.”

“Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault.”

She nodded a little to herself, sending a sad smile his way and turning to follow after her boyfriend. 

Eddie sighed. He’d have to let her go for now and hope that tomorrow wouldn’t be too late. He felt like an idiot, he should have known better than to approach her when that meathead was bound to be close by. 

“You good?” Lucas asked. Producing a small towel from his pocket and handing it to him to dab away the blood from his nose. 

“Yeah, sorry if I made trouble for you.” Eddie said, gesturing off towards the rest of Lucas’ teammates.”

“Don't worry about it, they all know how Jason can be. I’m sure the whole thing will be forgotten by tomorrow. What are you guys doing here anyway?”

“We need you to come with us.” Dustin butt in.

Lucas looked at all of them in turn. “Party business?”

“Don’t ask us,” Mike said, hooking a thumb in Eddie's direction. “He won't tell us shit.”

“I’ll tell you everything when we get to the trailer, I promise. We can’t talk about this here. You in, Sinclair?” Eddie asked.

“Fuck it, why not. Didn't feel like dealing with Jason’s attitude today anyway.”

“Good choice.” Eddie said, grinning. “Come on boys, let's get out of here.”

-

On the way back to his van, Eddie noticed Nancy and Jonathan about to get into her car. He’d thought for sure that he had taken too long and missed them, but somehow he’d gotten lucky.  Maybe the eldest Wheeler got caught up doing newspaper stuff after school. Whatever the reason, he was grateful. He told the boys to get in and trotted over to the couple.

Eddie found he had mixed feelings towards Nancy. She’d been so great about the investigation thing and told them everything they wanted to know, and she was nice about Eddie’s own reaction to it all, but there was a small part of him that bubbled up with jealousy when he thought about her and Steve being reunited. 

He knew she was with Jonathan now, and had been for a long time, much longer than she’d dated Steve, but the thought still set his teeth on edge. He shook it off, he had no reason to think they would still be interested in each other, and even if they were, it’s not like he had a claim on Steve now just because they’d made out a little bit. Nancy cared about Steve, and she deserved to know that he was alive and safe. Well, as safe as any of them were now.

“Shit, man, what happened to you?” Jonathan said as Eddie got close. He must still have some blood smeared on his face. 

Eddie shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. “A disagreement between me and one of our resident jocks. No big deal. Listen, uh, are you guys busy right now?” 

The two of them shared a look. “Not really, why?” Nancy said.

“I can’t tell you here.” He was getting really tired of saying that already. “I’m sorry to be cryptic about it, but I think you’ll understand when you see. I’m taking all the kids back to my house right now, could you follow us there? There's something I need to show all of you.”

The couple looked at eachother again, confusion clear on their faces, but for whatever reason they agreed. Probably because he already had their brothers roped into something. Oh well, he'd take it. This had all gone much easier than he thought it would, apart from the black eye he could feel forming. 

-

The short ride back to the trailer park was uncharacteristically quiet. Dustin remained silent, though Eddie could practically hear the thoughts churning in his head. The other boys knew at this point that Eddie wasn’t going to give in, so there was no point in questioning him on the way. 

He pulled in front of the trailer and got out, ordering the boys to stop when they tried to walk right inside, insisting they needed to wait for Nancy and Jonathan.

He and Steve hadn’t exactly planned this part but Eddie made sure to stomp his feet on the steps so that anyone inside would hear them coming. He turned to his small assembled crowd, feeling like he should give them some kind of warning. 

“So, this might be a bit of a shock. Just…everybody try to be cool, ok?”

Eddie spun back around quickly to avoid the several sets of very concerned eyes that were aimed in his direction. He opened the door and stepped inside, doing a quick sweep of the room, finding Steve and Eleven sitting at the kitchen table with Wayne. He stepped further in, letting everyone trail in after him. 

Wayne, who’d had a sandwich halfway to his mouth, let it drop from his hands to hit the plate with a little thud. He rubbed at his face muttering, “God damnit Eddie.”

Eleven didn’t seem surprised at the influx of new arrivals, Steve must have filled her in when she woke up. 

“Wait, is that?” Lucas started to ask but was cut off by Nancy’s gasp of, “Steve?!”

Steve stood, giving her a little wave. “Hey, Nance.”

She hesitated, just staring at him for a handful of seconds before stepping forward and throwing her arms around him. “You’re alive.” She murmured softly into his chest, eventually pulling away to look at his face.

“Oh my god, you’re alive!” She said again, much louder this time and with tears in her eyes. “Are you okay?” She asked, reaching up to cradle his face in her hands. 

Eddie had that feeling again. He knew it wasn’t right but he felt like she was touching something that belonged to him. He held the jealousy in, Nancy and Steve had been something to each other once upon a time, and they were entitled to this without his interference. 

Steve lightly took her hands and lowered them from his cheeks. Then he finally looked up and met Eddie’s eyes, smiling as he said, “I’m okay, Eddie’s been taking good care of me.”  

Oh and didn’t that make his stomach flutter. Eddie could feel himself blushing a little under Steve’s gaze, glad that no one was really paying attention to him. Everyone was too focused on the missing person in the room, now found, and the young girl at the table who was a stranger to all of them.

Steve broke their stare after a moment and looked around at the rest of the assembly crammed into the small space of the trailer. 

“Hey guys.” He said, nodding to the younger boys.

Dustin, he greeted by name, causing the other three to look his way accusingly. He shrugged at his friends, mouthing the word sorry while looking far too smug to mean it, before walking over to take a seat next to Eleven. 

“Hey man.” Jonathan said, finally emerging from a stunned silence as Nancy came back to stand near him. “I’m, uh, glad you’re alright.”

“Thanks.”

“So that’s it? You found Steve?!” Mike blurted out, finally losing patience. Honestly Eddie was surprised he’d lasted this long. “I mean, not that that’s not cool and all but what’s with the secrecy, and why is he here instead of with his parents or Hopper?”

Eddie finally sidled up to Steve, close but not touching like he really wanted to. He wasn’t sure how he was meant to act now in general, let alone in front of this many people, so he was happy enough just to be near the other boy. 

Steve wasn’t. 

He took that one step closer that caused their sides to brush and rested his hand on Eddie's lower back where no one else could see. “Are you still sure about this?” He murmured the question softly into Eddie’s ear. 

Eddie nodded, even as his heart started to race from the gentle touch and the feel of Steve’s breath on his skin.

“There’s a lot we need to tell you all, starting with introducing you to someone. This is Eleven. She and I have been held against our will at Hawkins lab for the past two years.”

Mike, Lucas, and Will’s jaws all dropped simultaneously. Dustin grinned from his place next to the girl. She looked a little shy suddenly with all the attention and Eddie noticed Wayne gave her a little pat on the back in support. 

As he watched the interaction, and how the girl smiled up at his uncle, it hit Eddie suddenly how lucky he was to have made it out of that place when he did. Luckier still that Claudia had found him and took him home. He could have died, or been made to spend the rest of his childhood in that place the same way Eleven had. He honestly wasn’t sure which one was worse. 

-

Steve and Eddie took turns telling their parts of the story and then together explained the parallels between the game and the real world. Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, it didn’t take much to convince the boys that they were telling the truth. They quickly accepted the fact that much of what they had played through was real and they even took Eddie’s backstory in stride, though they had a lot of questions that he didn’t have the answers to. 

Jonathan and Nancy were a bit harder of a sell. He was quietly skeptical, while she kept trying to poke holes in everything and seemed completely unwilling to accept that anyone could have the type of power they were claiming. Finally, with a flick of her hand El sent a magazine that had been sitting on the kitchen counter flying in Nancy’s direction. She caught it on instinct, her mouth opening in a soft ‘oh’ of surprise as her brain caught up to what it had just witnessed. 

The rest of the room went dead silent at the display, save for Dustin who was giggling like an idiot at having finally seen what he’d been waiting for since the morning. He offered her a high five, which she returned with gusto, smiling wider than Eddie had ever seen her in their short acquaintance. 

Things went a lot quicker after that.

Wayne didn’t say much throughout the explanation, which wasn’t surprising to Eddie, his uncle had always been a quiet person, but he watched the man's face fall as they reached the end and had to tell of Eddie’s character's death at the hands of Vecna via the demobats.

“You boys said things don’t always go the same as your game, right? Do you think…does that mean…is that likely to happen, Eds?” Wayne's voice shook as he finally spoke. His worry for his nephew clear as day. 

“We’re honestly not sure.” Eddie admitted reluctantly.

“That’s why we wanted to tell everyone who might be involved as soon as possible,” Steve added.

“There’s more too. Fred, and Patrick were victims in the story, and Chrissy. I tried to get her to come with us but her boyfriend interrupted.” Eddie said, mostly to Steve since the others had been there. 

“Yeah! You should have seen it, Steve.” Dustin jumped in. “Eddie got a good shove in but then Jason punched him in the face.”

Wayne shook his head, grumbling softly, “Gonna have to call that school tomorrow. Ain’t right letting my boy get hit like that.”

“I’m fine.” Eddie insisted, catching his uncle’s eye.

“Jason Carver?” Steve asked, jaw tightening every so slightly.

Lucas nodded, answering him. 

Steve touched his fingers lightly to Eddie’s chin, examining his face carefully. “Did he hurt you?” He said softly. 

It was almost too much, the way Steve was looking at him, and a lump formed in Eddie’s throat. “I’m fine.” He forced out, hoping his voice sounded more normal than he felt. He swallowed hard and tried again. “I'll probably have a hell of a black eye later, but that’s all.” 

“So, what do we do now, what’s the plan?” Will asked.

Steve and Eddie shared a look. “We hadn’t really worked out much past telling everyone what we had figured out.”

“What about Max and Billy?” Lucas asked.

Steve frowned. “Who is she again?”

“Max is a girl the boys tried to make friends with, she and her shitty brother, Billy Hargrove, moved here the fall after you got taken.” Eddie explained.

“What do you mean, tried to make friends?” Steve asked.

“We were all hanging out at the arcade once, a few days after we met Max.  Billy showed up early to pick her up. He saw her and Lucas holding hands and he freaked out.” Dustin said. “I’m pretty sure if we weren’t in public he would have killed lucas.”

“Yeah, he said some pretty messed up stuff.” Will added.

Lucas sighed sadly. “She wouldn’t talk to us again after that.” 

Will patted him on the arm. “She doesn’t talk to anyone, Lucas. It’s not your fault.” 

“He’s right.” Mike agreed. “She always acts pissed off, but sometimes when she thinks no one is looking her eyes go all sad. I don’t think she has any friends.”

Eddie didn’t like the sound of that. “So, she’s alone, and possibly depressed.” He pointed out, looking at Steve.

“And If Henry picks his victims like you said, then…” Steve trailed off.

“She’s screwed.” Eddie finished the thought. “Do any of you dipshits know where this girl lives?”

The younger boys all shook their heads, they didn't know.

“Cherry Street.” Wayne answered out of nowhere. 

Everyone including Eddie stared at him for a moment in surprise. 

How and why the hell did Wayne, of all people, know where this girl lived?

“That boy you were talking about, the racist one? I know his old man, Neil. He’s a supervisor at the plant and a real piece of work, apple doesn’t fall far, y’know? You go get that girl, but be careful.”

Eddie gaped at his uncle. “You’re seriously on board for this?”

Wayne laughed. “As if I could stop you. You boys go, I'll handle things when Jim gets here.” He paused to check his watch. “Which should be any time now. Probably better if you stay out for a while and let me explain to him what’s going on. He’s gonna blow his stack.”

“Jonathan and I can stay and help you explain it to him, Mr. Munson. If that’s okay with you?” Nancy offered.

“It’s fine with me, and please call me Wayne.”

Steve wanted El to stay behind too. She wasn’t happy about being left out while her brother put himself in danger, but she agreed once Eddie promised to keep an eye on him for her. It was decided that the four younger boys would go along with Steve and Eddie to the Mayfield/Hargrove house, because at least she knew them a little from school, and it would be less creepy than two older boys showing up alone unannounced. 

They were getting ready to leave when there was a knock on the trailer door. Eddie, thinking it was Hopper coming early, opened it without hesitation. 

It wasn’t the police chief, it was Chrissy Cuningham. 

She started profusely apologizing the second he opened the door, but stopped abruptly in the middle of her speech and let out a loud gasp when she spotted Steve hovering behind him.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you found him!” Chrissy cried out.

Eddie took her by the hand and pulled her inside, he didn’t want to risk his neighbor overhearing anything. “Actually, he sorta found me.” Eddie told her. 

She smiled brightly at Steve and hugged him before turning back to Eddie. “Is this what you wanted to tell me?”

“This, and a lot more actually.”

Chrissy looked around, finally taking notice of just how many people were inside the small home. 

“Why don’t we take her with us?” Steve suggested. “I think I can explain it to her on the way.”

Eddie shrugged and looked at Chrissy. “You up for a little field trip?” 

-

Dustin called shotgun. Eddie would have preferred to make the trip with Steve sitting by his side, but he and Chrissy had crawled into the far rear of the van so they could talk, giving the back seat to the other boys. 

The whole way there Eddie couldn’t stop staring through the rear-view mirror at the two of them huddled together. It wasn’t a jealousy thing this time, it was the fact that Steve kept catching his eye in the reflection, and smiling in a way that would’ve made his knees give out if he wasn’t already sitting down.  

When he almost missed a turn for the second time, Dustin elbowed him hard in the side. “Eyes on the road, Romeo.” He kept his voice low enough that Eddie didn’t worry about the other boys hearing it over the music, but he still blushed and swatted at the kid’s arm. “Shut up!”

It turned out that Chrissy knew exactly where the house was, since Billy had been on the basketball team with Jason before he graduated. They parked a few doors down, trying to scope out the situation a little before going in. 

It looked like the kids' parents must be out, as the driveway was empty, but a blue camaro that Eddie knew belonged to Billy was parked out in the street. That was going to be a problem. He had known better than to hope that the girl would be home alone but he still didn’t have any idea how they were going to do this.

“What if I went up to the door and distracted him?” Chrissy offered.

“Yeah! And then we can sneak around the back and find her window or something!” Lucas said.

Eddie chewed on his thumbnail, thinking. “If me or Steve get caught sneaking in a young girl's window we’ll get arrested.” 

Honestly if they got caught doing this, getting arrested for that would be the least of their worries. 

“You two can stay here then and keep watch. We got this.” Dustin said.

Eddie didn’t like it but he didn’t have any better ideas, so he reluctantly agreed. At least it was dark out now, so the kids had a decent chance of not being seen. 

Chrissy slipped out the back door of the van, and they all watched as she walked up to the front door and rang the bell. It didn’t take long for the door to open, revealing Billy, silhouetted in the doorway by the lights inside the house. They weren’t close enough to hear what was said but just based on the guy's body language she must have been doing something right. He leaned against the doorframe with his hip, smirking at her as he listened to whatever it was she was saying. 

They didn’t know how long she’d be able to keep it up so the boys quickly spilled out, going through a neighboring backyard to come up behind Max’s house. 

With everyone else now gone, Steve climbed over the back seats and settled in next to Eddie, taking his hand right away and squeezing it. It would have been romantic, holding hands with Steve in the quiet dark, had they not been so worried about the others and what could go wrong. 

About five or ten minutes had gone by since the boys had left the van, and Billy was still happily chatting with Chrissy by the front door. Eddie should have known that things couldn’t be this easy, that something was about to go wrong. 

Out of nowhere, all of the lights in the house began to flicker wildly. Eddie’s heart sank. It had to mean what he thought it meant, there was no way it was a coincidence. They’d almost been too late, still might be if they didn’t get in there right now and try to help the poor girl.

Without a word he and Steve both leaped from the car, perfectly in sync about what needed to be done, and ran for the house. Chrissy was already looking in their direction, a panicked look on her face. Billy was distracted looking around at the blinking lights. Neither of them stopped or slowed their steps as they approached the door to the home, pushing right past a bewildered Billy and into the house beyond. He recovered quickly, following closely at their heels and shouting at them to get the fuck out of his house. 

Eddie could hear distantly that Chrissy was trying to stop him or distract him, but he couldn’t concentrate on what was being said. They needed to find the girl. 

Thankfully the house was small and the second door they tried turned out to be her bedroom. It was a crazy scene. The young redhead was standing in the middle of her room stock still, her eyes rolled into the back of her head. He could see the boys standing on the other side of the window, they were banging on the glass and shouting. It looked like she'd been walking towards the window to talk to them when the attack started.

Finally Billy fought his way into the room. Eddie was sure that under normal circumstances fists would be flying by this point, but with the lights flashing and his sister having some sort of episode, it was chaos, and the guy didn’t seem to know how to respond to it all. 

“Music right?” Steve said.

“Yeah, let’s just hope it works. Everybody look for a walkman!”

Chrissy, Steve, and Eddie started to tear the room apart as Billy continued to shout.

“What are you doing to her?! You better get the fuck out before I call the cops”

Chrissy quickly found it lying on the girl's bed half obscured beneath a throw blanket. She shoved it in Eddie's direction. He popped it open, and after all of this he was still somehow surprised to find that the tape she’d last listened to was in fact Hounds of Love by Kate Bush. He shook his head, rewinding the tape to the start of the last song that had been played before shoving the headphones over the girl’s ears. 

He heard more than saw Steve bodily shoving Billy out of the room. Eddie was worried about him getting hurt, but he had to trust that he could handle it. Eddie had his hands full trying to save this girl. Once she was okay he could worry about everything else. 

The song began, the volume loud enough that it could be heard in the room which had grown quiet in Billy's absence. When Eddie had envisioned this moment, the young girl’s first battle with Vecna, it had been to the soundtrack of Running up that Hill. Though he was a metal guy first and foremost, he enjoyed all kinds of music, and was able to appreciate Kate Bush for her theatricality. He didn’t know why that was the song his mind conjured up, had never thought to question it. That wasn’t the song that was currently blasting out of the girl’s headphones now, however Jig of Life felt more than appropriate under the circumstances. 

🎵I'll be sitting in your mirror Now is the place where the crossroads meet Will you look into the future Never, never say goodbye To my part of your life🎵

“Come on, Red. You can do this.” Eddie murmured, shaking the girl by the shoulders. He wasn’t sure if she could hear him, and even if she could, he didn't know what he could possibly say to help her fight this thing. 

🎵No, no, no, no Oh-oh-oh-oh let me live She said come on and let me live, girl She said come on and let me live, girl Come on, let me live This moment in time, she said It doesn’t belong to you”🎵

The lights stopped flickering so suddenly that it was jarring, and in the same moment Max’s eyes shot open. She gasped as if rising out of a deep pool of water, swaying on her feet, and would have fallen if Chrissy hadn’t been there to catch her. Max grabbed on to Chrissy's arms, gripping tight as her breath came in short gasps. She looked frantically around the room searching for a danger that was no longer there.

“You’re okay, you’re okay. It’s over. I got you.” Chrissy rocked the girl gently, murmuring comforting words into her hair over and over again as she fought to control her breathing.

Now that Max was free, Eddie finally tuned in to the noise happening in the rest of the house, and he could hear that the raised voices in the other room had reached a fever pitch. It wasn’t only Steve and Billy that could be heard now, but the younger boys as well. 

He locked eyes with Chrissy over Max’s head. “Stay with her, I'll be right back.”

She nodded rapidly. “Go! Help them!”

Eddie rushed out to the hallway and found everyone in the living room. Steve was in the middle of it, the only thing standing between an enraged psychopath and the four younger boys. From what he heard, it sounded like Steve had been trying to explain to Billy some of what was going on, but he was refusing to listen. Then the boys had come bursting in, and Hargrove took one look at Lucas and lost it. 

Billy had his back to Eddie, so the asshole didn't see it coming when he creeped up behind him, snatched a commemorative plate right off the wall, and smashed it over his head. Unfortunately, it didn’t knock the guy out like he had planned, but it did send him to the floor. Eddie jumped on him, holding his upper body down, while Steve quickly got the idea and took hold of his legs. Eddie yelled at the boys to find some rope or anything they could use to tie him up with. They returned quickly with a handful of zip ties and a roll of duct tape. They made it work, finishing the job off with an extra piece of tape over Billy’s mouth for good measure. 

Chrissy and Max chose that moment to come out of the young girl’s bedroom, both staring open mouthed at the scene before them.  Max’s eyes were wide but sparkled with amusement as she watched her step-brother struggle against his bonds.

“What are you going to do with him?” Chrissy asked.

“I have no idea, but at least we shut him up for now.” Steve said between heaving breaths. He sat down on the floor hard, using the hem of his shirt to dab the blood from his split lip. Eddie tried not to stare at the strip of exposed skin that the move had caused, but it was a losing battle. He knew it was fucked up to ogle the poor guy while he was bleeding, but he felt less bad about it when he realized that Steve was watching him right back, eyes full of intense desire. Apparently seeing Eddie smash a plate over some douchebag's head had really done something for him. 

Dustin cleared his throat loudly, purposefully, interrupting the moment before either of them could do or say something they might regret in front of all these people. Eddie didn’t know whether to thank him for it or throttle him. 

Lucas was the first to approach Max, the other boys following close behind him.

“Are you okay?” Lucas asked. The tender expression on the kid’s face told Eddie that his little crush on the redhead hadn’t dimmed at all since that awful night at the arcade. 

Max gave him a small smile. “I have no idea what's going on or how you and your weird friends got me out of there, but yeah, I’m okay.” She said.

Chrissy stayed by Max’s side even as the boys swooped in to try and cheer her up, the poor girl was still clinging to her hand like a lifeline.

“Maybe we should take him back to the trailer with us, Hopper should be there by now. Maybe he can hold him for something down at the police station?” Steve suggested, mostly aiming the idea at Eddie since the others were occupied. 

“That’s not a bad idea.” Eddie agreed. He offered a hand to help Steve. He took it, letting the touch linger a little longer than necessary once he was on his feet.

Eddie raised his voice to be heard over the small roar of all the younger boys talking at once. “Hey Red, you got a problem with us kidnapping your shitty stepbrother?”

“No.” Max answered quickly, then hesitated before continuing, “but uh, I don't think I want to be alone right now. Can you take me too?”

Chrissy released the girl’s hand in favor of wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she said, “I think you’d better come with us anyway so we can try to explain what’s happening to you.”

Eddie caught her eye and nodded in agreement. “We’re definitely not all going to fit in my van this time. Maybe we could take two trips?”

“One of you could drive Billy’s car. I know where his keys are.” Max supplied helpfully. Eddie was really starting to like this kid. 

Together, he and Steve managed to pick Billy up to carry him to the car, the others going out ahead to keep watch and open doors. Halfway down the front yard, their captive started thrashing violently, causing them to drop him to the ground. Luckily for Billy, the lawn was pretty lush and probably cushioned his fall well enough, though Eddie sincerely hoped he hurt something in the fall. 

They were working on getting him back up, Mike and Lucas now helping now too, when Eddie heard a rustle in the bushes separating Max’s house from her neighbor’s.

Great.

The last thing they needed right now was for some nosy housewife to spot them in the middle of - whatever this was - and call the police.

Eddie shushed the group and had them lay Billy back down on the ground. He crept over to where he’d heard the noise. It was very dark in the side yard, since Max’s house didn’t have any outside lights other than the single bulb on the porch. He squinted as he got close, trying to see if there was really someone there or if it was just a raccoon, only to get blinded as the creeper turned on a flashlight that was aimed directly in his face. 

“Jesus H. Christ,'' Eddie shouted, stepping backwards as he threw his hands up to shield his eyes, and proceeded to trip over a branch and fall flat on his ass. 

Steve was at his side quickly, making sure he was okay, and helping him up.

The mystery person with the offending flashlight had also come out of hiding. Eddie blinked a few times, trying to force his eyes to adjust. It took a second, but once they did he realized they were standing face to face with Robin Buckley.

“What are you doing?!” She asked accusingly.

“It’s not what it looks like!” Eddie insisted.

She crossed her arms over her chest, eyeing the two of them curiously. “So...you don’t have Billy Hargrove trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey, and you and your merry band of freshman, along with whoever else, aren't getting ready to take him and his step sister god knows where?”

Eddie sighed. “Okay, it’s exactly what it looks like, but I swear we have a really good reason.”

“We’re not trying to hurt anyone.” Steve added.

Robin tilted her flashlight up again, shining it directly in Steve's face this time. 

“Wait a second…Harrington?! I thought you were missing!” She all but shrieked.

Eddie slapped his hand over her mouth as he said, “Technically, he is still missing. It’s a long story.”

Robin glared hard and he lowered his hand for self preservation.

He turned to Steve, they hadn’t really talked about bringing Robin into things. She had mostly served as Steve’s side-kick in the game, and she wasn’t a victim of Vecna’s. She also wasn’t friends with anyone in the party, Eddie knew her from band but that was all. Now he wondered if there was some reason why, out of all the people in Hawkins, he had chosen her to be NPC-Steve’s best friend.

Steve seemed to read his mind. “You want to tell her?”

Eddie shrugged. “At this point we might as well.”

“I really love the way you’re talking about me like I'm not here, guys. Doing wonders for my belief that what you're doing has no nefarious purpose.” Robin said, clearly rolling her eyes despite the fact that they could barely see her.  

“Look, we can explain everything, but you’ll have to come with us.” 

She stared at the two of them, then looked towards the gaggle of kids behind them keeping watch over Billy. Finally, her eyes settled on Chrissy, going just a little wide as she recognized the cheerleader. 

Oh, that was interesting.

“Okay, fine.” She said. “ But if anything happens to me I will haunt your asses!.”

Chapter 10

Thank you @penny00dreadful for beta reading once again!

Taglist: @yeahhhh-suga @steddie-there @goinsteddie @brbsoulnomming @the-s-is-silent @paintsplatteredandimperfect @estrellami-1 @herebedragons404 @epiclazershark @mentallyundone @hardboiledleggs @manda-panda-monium @ellietheasexylibrarian @sofadofax @5ammi90 @bestwifehaver @eddie-munsons-lunchbox @soaringornithopter @buckleybarnes @adaed5 @goodolefashionedloverboi

As always, i'm happy to add or remove anyone from the taglist. Just let me know!

[naruhinalife555]

Well then it's kind rediculos to use these pages you'll realize that Narusaku never existed

You have the fact that Sakura only loved Sasuke from start to finish

naruto and hinata did meet as kids since academy she loved naruto and don't even need that filler chapter where they are 4 years old kishi proves it

Hinata never looked at Naruto from a distance where does the manga show that give proof?

These are quite the opposite. Pay attention to what Naruto says to her He blushes and says she makes him feel good even though she's a little weird

Then he said that he loves people like her so to say that she is only in the distance and not near him is a lie

Can you imagine where Iruka was in his childhood? Right from the start he hit Naruto on the head and didn't respect him at all

so ok where was team 7? Are you telling me that Hinata talks about love without knowing the person or interacting with them? Let's talk about the fact that Naruto doesn't respect Sakura at all, even though he pretended to be Sasuke, he was put off by Sakura coming to kiss him.

If they had no interest and Hinata didn't know Naruto that well then why would he encourage Come watch him fight for her

That is, a person who is only a good friend of his, no, he doesn't give her hands, right? While apparently someone who is supposed to be his true love sees it right next to her After all Hinata passed out you can see his worried face it never happened with Sakura

how is that related? Sakura only loves Sasuke and Kishi proves it very well Come on Sakura's parents are just a filler character that never existed and was never created You can't use them as proof You can't force feelings on Sakura She chose to love Sasuke

Let's exaggerate and this is where Naruto was always by her side?? Hardly to get Sasuke back for her he wanted.That you will understand that he cared more about Sasuke than Sakura

And the arc to bring back Sasuke Naruhina is the one that got an amazing moment

What do you want Sakura to love Naruto by force I really don't understand where you are going? Shtakolam syndrome in your life is bullshit

Obviously this is just the red herring and they were never supposed to be together Sakura protecting Naruto's dream? are you kidding me right?? When Naruto almost died she actually admitted that it was Obito who saved his life

Naruto protects all his friends not only Sakura this shows us that everything was shallow on his part and not true love here even Gaara almost killed Sakura Naruto didn't care…

boruto and naruto are from the same creator the only thing that never existed is narusaku. naruto's love for sakura she is nothing. one fun fact he even jokingly said he and sakura were friends and was never serious about her Because he admitted that he is only 17 years old and doesn't understand much about love

what? Obviously it's mentioned Naruto never forgot what Hinata told him when pain attacked the village Naruto went wild with anger and protected Hinata with his body he also remembered her after she almost died And when Sakura came to confess Naruto was very angry with her because he already knew that Hinata told him she loved him

Naruto and Hinata don't have to justify the fact that they are canon because of Neji's handshake and his sacrifice, after all Naruhina already exists from part 1 Neji didn't die because of Naruhina

It's not Sasuke's fault that Sakura loves him and not Naruto!All she cares about is Sasuke-kun

How can you say such things when Pierrot was responsible for Naruto's love confession to Sakura and it never happened in the manga

[themculibrary]

Westview Masterlist

All The Magic Is In The Gray (ao3) - ashyblondwaves wanda/vision T, 5k

Summary: In the vibrant and idyllic world of Westview, 18 year old witch Wanda Maximoff learns that not all is as perfect as it seems.

An Awakening (ao3) - AnontheNullifier wanda/vision T, 5k

Summary: Vision learns the truth of his life prior to Westview which leads to an honest conversation with Wanda.

A Place To Grow Old In (ao3) - sylveparker wanda/vision N/R, 1k

Summary: Wanda goes back to Westview to see the house Vision had bought for them.

i don't need anything other than you (ao3) - ghoultown wanda/vision T, 51k

Summary: “Come, step into the light.” Vision pulls her close, into the yellow light, holding her hands in his. “Tell me. Do I look the same to you today?”

She makes a face, “Of course you do.”

“No, please. Please, look closer.” He bends down slightly to assist in her search. “I’ve been looking in the mirror for ten minutes. There’s something here. Something extra or something missing, I cannot tell, but i-it’s something.”

Wanda’s disposition changes. “Vis, you sound… panicked.”

“Hm?” Vision blinks. “I can’t panic.”

_

Vision wakes up one morning to find his memories gone. He figures there must be a logical explanation. Until there can't be.

I had a thought, dear... (ao3) - clayandgraniteplanet wanda/vision G, 2k

Summary: I also do not know what “myself” entails... so, I suppose I cannot know if I’ve lost it. You would tell me, wouldn’t you, darling?

Vision has a late-night crisis, and worry for his wife is beginning to eat away at him.

Love Persevering (ao3) - Redmaximoff wanda/vision T, 3k

Summary: Wanda and Vision, from the Civil War to Westview.

No Way Out (ao3) - miss_ing sam/bucky, wanda/vision T, 15k

Summary: "𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?" 𝘞𝘰𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥. "𝘈𝘳𝘦-"

𝘚𝘢𝘮 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘉𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘺'𝘴 𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘩 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨. "𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘦," 𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘳𝘮𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘥, 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘱 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥. "𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴-" 𝘏𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘴𝘶𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.

𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘚𝘢𝘮 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘰.

---

Sam just wanted to get this discussion with Jimmy Woo over and done with. He'd had an outline for how this was going to go - he and Bucky would go in, get out and promptly return back to ignoring each other again.

Bucky just wanted to go home, and stay there, no matter how long. In short, he didn't quite get that, and his curiosity ended up with him waking up in a world he most definitely did not belong to, and one that did not want him to leave.

Post Finale Blues (ao3) - von_gikkingen darcy/ralph T, 3k

Summary: Stockholm Syndrome. Must be. There’s just no other explanation for how he can discuss this in such a casual manner. To talk about Agatha as though she was just some minor, if unpleasant, acquaintance. A woman with actual magical powers. Powers were used to literally take over his mind...

“You didn’t answer my question, by the way. What exactly do you think she was doing to me? Because if I didn’t know better I might think you're implying something inappropriate might have gone on behind the scenes.”

“I never said that,” Darcy replies. Too quickly.

And there’s that grin again. In fact he really seems to be barely suppressing laughter at the very idea. In a way that makes her feel somewhat better. At least she didn’t accidentally bring the subject to some trauma he finds it impossible to talk about. No, she just said something so preposterous he was struggling not to start laughing in her face.

“Right. You didn’t. But I love that that’s where your mind goes. Though not as much as I love that you don’t have any magical powers. Because what would you use them for Darcy Lewis?” he says, shaking his head at her, mock scandalized.

“Oh, shut up,” she rolls her eyes.

She needs him (ao3) - Emo_cola_cola wanda/stephen T, 1k

Summary: Wanda moves away to Westview, despite Stephen begging her not too.

Starring Sharon Davis and Todd Davis (ao3) - tablelamp T, 10k

Summary: Sharon and her husband were walking home from the cafe when the pain hit.

To Grow Old In (ao3) - followinglilies wanda/vision G, 1k

Summary: An Alternate Universe where Vision lives through the events of Infinity War and Endgame and Wanda and Vision get to have their happy ending. Based on Episode 8 "Previously On" of WandaVision.

Welcome to Westview (ao3) - KaleidoscopeEyez loki/sylvie, wanda/vision T, 161k

Summary: When Loki uses a TemPad to transport himself and Sylvie away from the TVA, they end up, not on Lamentis-1, but in Westview, New Jersey, during the events of WandaVision. Now, Loki and Sylvie must pose as a married couple as they navigate the craziness of the Westview Anomaly, all while trying to figure out how to escape.

welcome to westview (ao3) - WestviewNightmares (addershine), youcantcallmethat (sbzpruiosnejre) bucky/wanda T, 1k

Summary: Wanda is alone, and then she isn't. She doesn't think twice about how she knows he's there, knows it's him, but she does. Her mind touches his and she shows him the way.

---

James Barnes arrives in Westview just in time for dinner with his fiancée, or at least that's what he understands.

Westview Holiday (ao3) - aparticularbandit wanda/agatha T, 3k

Summary: Wanda and Agatha exert a great deal of magic for a Westview celebration, and Wanda has an idea on how to cool down afterwards.

[sleepyheadscompany]

TW: DID struggles, fear of faking, mention of long inpatient stays

hello!

It’s been a while since i’ve posted anything DID so imma just type I guess.

I’ve been having some of the worst DID imposter syndrome ever and i guess that’s sort of expected for how my system functions.

I discovered my system in 2021 during covid. I was actually in the best place I’d ever been in right before covid. My spiral downward was pretty sharp. My system kicked into action and I wouldn’t really hold front for more than a few days at a time. This would go on for a few months.

I went inpatient for that and similar issues, got out, went in again a few months later and stayed in inpatient mental health treatment for more than 7 months straight and then post hospitalization for exactly a year immediately afterwards. Traumatizing as it was, it made systemhood pretty easy to spot.

I’ve been doing better. My system activity is very much based on necessity. When things are good, my system is pretty much quiet. But once things get bad or I get triggered, things get fuzzy or I might even black out.

Like right now, the last time I remember being triggered and switching was in October/November. (a lot of the time switching happens without me realizing until after i get a date wrong or miss some information) I’m doing pretty normal. It feels too good to be true honestly.

Now. the crux of the issue: was I just faking? Was I just searching for an answer to my problem all those years ago and, like, gaslit myself into believing it? When I first talked to a therapist about DID I didn’t really have social media or know it was a big trend to fake it.

My high school psychology 101 class had a DID unit. That’s how I learned what it was. I didn’t even suspect that’s what it was until a therapist laid out all my symptoms for me and told me I was also severely dissociating. It clicked, I mentioned alters as a possibility, the rest is history.

I feel like my DID is so different to tiktok’s version. (yes, eventually I caved and downloaded tiktok to see what the community was like. I promptly closed out of the app./j) I’m not officially diagnosed, but multiple therapist have referred to what I have as DID. Before that, I never would have actually called it that out of fear. That’s part of it I think.

I’m “medically recognized” is the best way I know to put it. I feel like my experience with systemhood is too different. I don’t have stellar communication with my alters or access to headspace or a little paper that says i’m super extra valid as per a doctor I could never afford on my own.

We don’t have different hand writing or different accents or different IQs as far as I know. There aren’t 100+ of us or even more than 10. I hardly even know what my alters look like?? i mean how do people even know that stuff??? Do they guess???? I can imagine what some look like because they’ve said stuff in passing but i’ve never ‘seen’ them.

I feel all this pressure to pretend like I do have all this stuff because i’m worried someone’s going to harass me if i don’t. Some “your DID isn’t the right super edgy aesthetic” type bs.

ESPECIALLY now that my alters don’t really talk to me now that life is better. Oh and GOD forbid a system have a normal, not agony filled life. I feel more fake than ever bc my DID is ‘wrong’ and it’s not causing me constant immediate distress. I’ve cried and yelled and hurt myself over this disorder. Like ptsd breakdowns with a side of looking in the mirror and not recognizing my own face. But it doesn’t feel good enough.

I’ve ACTUALLY had issues with severe dissociation and derealization and fuge and it’d be really embarrassing for none of it to have been real yk? So i’m worried.

But I guess, in the same vain, I’ve cried and yelled and hurt myself over this disorder. If that’s not real struggle, I’m not sure what is.

-Saturn🪐

[fentonaw24]

Sunday 8 Sept ‘24

They say you never know what’s round the next corner, and I’ve not had anything like a life-threatening experience with my recent condition (more on that in a minute) but something that interrupts your normal course of life makes you step back and think a bit. The rhythm and pace of my life, largely without major disruption over some decades, has suddenly been slowed down and transferred into that strange other-world of a hospital inpatient ward. This account describes my time through recent NHS care and some of the social factors that inevitably affect my personal experience.

Despite “the NHS is broken” (a bold, brutal statement that’s more true than not) there are countless experiences of care in the NHS that work really well, and so far at least that’s been my story. My episode started with pins and needles suddenly taking hold in my hands and feet from mid August. A sensation that was constant, in both hands, both feet, and gradually increased over the following few weeks.

After a couple of weeks of symptoms I made contact with my GP practice via the NHS App, using the ‘Contact your GP about a health problem’ option. I use this as a good way of avoiding a phone queue and it allows you to get your history underway for triage by the Duty doctor. Having submitted about 10am, I had a call from the GP about 3pm that same day, the Tuesday after Bank Holiday weekend. Working largely from home in a management role I have the option usually of dropping things to take a call from the GP - many people don’t have this luxury though, and I recognise I’m in a favoured position (more on this theme later). The phone call resulted in a blood test being booked, and a face to face appointment set up for the following week (which was last Weds, 4 Aug).

Following the GP phone call a second, more worrying symptom emerged - loss of strength and stability in my legs, which developed over the coming days. As a keen runner, cyclist and occasional triathlete, still in my 50s, this was a dramatic decline in my physical capabilities. This got steadily worse each day, which alongside the pins & needles / numbness meant my mobility was getting curtailed - though I could still walk.

So, last Wednesday I see the GP face to face, at 9.50am. He spends 20 mins with me, taking a thorough history and quick physical check. The blood test doesn’t show up anything abnormal. I say I feel like I’ve aged 20 years in the space of three weeks. He says he needs to speak to the Ambulatory Assessment Unit at the John Radcliffe hospital in Oxford (part of the Oxford University Hospitals Trust) and gets through on the phone quickly. Following a bit of to-ing and fro-ing with Neurology, it’s confirmed the route to take is for me to go directly into the AAU for an assessment. Some possible diagnoses are mentioned, but the full assessment is needed. The GP was thorough, efficient and took action quickly, though with limited eye contact as he took detailed notes of all my symptoms and key prior history (eg a stomach bug in June).

After popping home quickly by car I drive the short distance to the JR (20 mins), can’t park in the nearest car park so end up walking slowly along the full length of the JR from the West Wing car park to the Main Hospital, and up to the fourth floor. I register at the AAU desk at 11.15am and by 11.30 I’ve been called in by a nurse for the initial tests - bloods, ECG, blood-pressure, breath volume, and temperature. After a further short wait I’m called in to an assessment bay and first seen by a medical student and then a Consultant and Junior / Resident Doctor from the Neurology team. I think assessments often pull in clinicians from the relevant department.

An assessment of this kind involves ‘telling your story’ multiple times, and this continued once admitted. I don’t have a problem repeating my story, it’s important for each clinician to hear it directly in addition to reviewing notes. It also helps make a connection between patient and clinician. Following the verbal history there’s a series of physical checks of my arms, legs, hands and feet, mainly strength and flex reactions. Much of this is done as a training situation, with the Resident doctor doing the checks under eye of the Consultant, who steps in occasionally with some gentle prompts and advice.

The Consultant discusses with me the need for a lumbar puncture to take a sample of spinal fluid for testing. Another Doctor (Neurology Resident) talks me through the test including risks and I sign the Consent form. By now it’s about 2.30pm. The local anaesthetic is injected after thorough sterilisation of the area, and the test takes about 10-15 mins - not really painful, but glad I couldn’t see it! I lie down for an hour after the LP.

Further waiting, till late afternoon when the Consultant discusses the likely diagnosis with me, which is based on clinical assessment at this stage as the LP results aren’t in yet. The strong likelihood is that’s it’s Guillain-Barré syndrome, a quite rare auto-immune response where your antibodies attack the myelin sheath surrounding nerves and can also attack the nerves themselves. A common trigger is a bacterial or viral infection, such as then stomach bug I had in June.

Based on this probable diagnosis, and my condition, an admission to the Neurology ward is warranted, to allow for observation and give a five day course of Immunoglobulin IV treatment, the standard / recommended course of action. Turns out it’s also expensive - about £800 per dose (from my internet search!) which takes about four hours or so to administer each day.

Back to some practicalities - by now it’s about 6.30pm and I don’t want to leave the car in the hospital car park for another 5 days, and prefer to pick up some stuff from home. AAU aren’t keen to allow me to nip home, but when they check with Neurology they are fine, so I leave the Assessment Unit and drive home. My wife has got a bag together, and a kindly neighbour takes me back to the hospital, accompanied by my wife, and they drop me off at the West Wing - I’m on the ward by 8pm. I hear that night that the spinal fluid results are back and confirm a key indicator of GBS - high protein levels (mine was over 800).

I’m in a four-bed all male room, with different neuro conditions represented. On the day after admission I had a further test which was interesting, in Clinical Neuro-Physiology - a nerve conduction test to measure the wave pattern and time for an electrical impulse to go up and back down the nerve. This is done by attaching a number of small electrodes to parts of the body affected (hands, feet, calves) and small electric shocks applied - and some not so small which make your limbs jump. The test indicates that I have the demyelinating form of GBS, which attacks the myelin sheath but not the nerves directly. The overall assessment is that I have a relatively mild form of the syndrome.

The next morning I get a kind of ‘House’ experience, when one of the Neurology Registrars I met the previous day asks if he can bring his group of six medical students (yr 5) in and have one of them take a history and do a brief physical exam - without me saying what I have. The student does pretty well, with some input from the others - though he missed a key question about recent infections. They do identify Guillain Barre as the most likely diagnosis, as my symptoms are of the classic pattern and don’t directly match anything else.

As of writing I’ve had four of the five igIV doses and if all goes well will be discharged tomorrow, but will need to see the Consultant, have a Physio assessment, and get my final IV treatment. The IV therapy isn’t so much a curative treatment but helps to strengthen and accelerate one’s own immune response positively. Recovery can take some time, though the main acute phase of symptoms is generally over after about four weeks. Most patients with the condition do make a full recovery.

Ironically on the third day as an inpatient I had been due to be taking part in a Trialthlon in the Cotswolds - quite a contrast! I’m still very weak in my legs and have strong pins & needles and numbness.

The Doctors, Nursing team and support staff have all been great, showing care, warmth, responsiveness, and efficiency. They come from across the UK and the globe - a poster of the Nursing and HCA team by the entrance shows 14 different nationalities.

My work in the NHS focuses on Population Health and Inequalities, and I’m very aware of some inherent advantages I’m lucky to possess that means my experience of NHS care may well be more positive than for many people. Below are a few things I think give me some advantages in how I access and experience care -

- I work largely from home and can easily take a call back from the GP

- I could take time off work to attend the GP appointment, and will be paid for my sick leave.

- I own and drive a car

- I could afford the £15 parking for the day I spent at the AAU

- I live in Oxford close to the John Radcliffe, an internationally renowned academic / teaching hospital

- I work in the NHS and understand ‘the system’

- I’m comfortable with digital solutions like the NHS App

- I’m articulate and understand most of what doctors say (but not all)

- I don’t experience racism

- I’m married so have support at home, and my daughter kindly came up from London to provide us support

- I have kind neighbours who will help out at times like this.

This is perhaps best summarised as having advantages of being a white, middle-class, middle-aged male!

Being in hospital is of course never pleasant. But despite the downsides I’ve found something socially uplifting, being amongst a community of people - healthcare staff - alongside other patients, who are all vibrantly and with commitment focused on the complex process of care and treatment.

// addendum - Tues 10th Sept

Was discharged yesterday (Monday) after my fifth dose of igIV. Didn’t need a physio assessment as I have mobility, but am still very weak in my legs and with pins & needles / numbness in hands and feet. It will take many weeks, possibly longer, for a full recovery, but further IV treatment hopefully not needed.

Thank you to the great team at Neurology (OUHT) and AAU. And to my GP practice in Summertown.

[skelebonecentral]

Imposter Syndrome

request from ao3

eclipse, while still hiding in sun's body, experiences adoration and praise for the first time. but it's stolen glory, isnt' it?

words under cut

Well, here he was. Alone with the human that was besotted with Sun.

“what do you see when you look at me?” he asked, still using Sun’s voice rather than his own. He wanted to know what possible good they could find in the anxious, weak mess that was Sun.

They blushed, aw, how saccharine. “Uh…w-well, I…Sun, I think you’re wonderful. I can see how hard you try, how patient you are with Moon, how much you sacrifice your own wellbeing to care for others…it’s worrying, but I know you’re coming from a good place with it.”

“Really?” Eclipse acted the part, wide eyed and curious tone, “What if I told you that it was all to make people like me? To force a narrative that I’m the good one even if I have the same violent thoughts as Moon does?”

That…didn’t have the impact he wanted. The human just blinked and said, “Sun, I hate to tell you this, but everyone has violent thoughts now and again. I’ve wanted to punch Moon in the face a lot but I don’t because I can control myself. Thinking a thought isn’t the same as acting on it.”

Eclipse didn’t want to hear that, “So basically even if my inner dialogue was about how disgusting everybody is and how stupid I think they’re acting, it’s fine?”

“It’s not hurting anybody for you to think that, even if I do worry that you’re so upset with the world. Sun, maybe we should have some kind of staff therapist or something. I think you’d benefit.”

He laughed, but he had to control it because they noticed something was up.

“Sun, are you okay? This is really weird behavior from you.” They actually took his hand, and Eclipse faltered. Even with all he’d just said, all the other slips he’d done in front of this person, they were stupid enough to look with concern. They either really loved Sun or had no self preservation. He chose the second option for his assumption.

“I just don’t think I’m really the person you think I am,” he teased the truth, but knew they’d take it another way from the ‘sad’ tone he used.

“I’m willing to learn…Sun, I think you need to hear this now.” They blushed again, all the way to their ears this time as they held his hand, “Sun, I want to be your partner. I know it’s a stressful time, but…I’ve had feelings for you for a while and I just want to let you know  you aren’t alone.”

He wanted to push them away, make them lose the feelings they had for his captor, the annoy little wretch, but…he also wanted to see how far this would go.

“You want to date ME?” He acted shocked, then changed tact, “Well, can you show me? How much you want me?”

Their whole body started warming up, he could see it on his sensors, but the agreed with a nod and pulled ‘Sun’ toward the tower. Oh he was going to LOVE lording this over Sun.

“I never expected you to be so forward but…I-I do want to you to know how much I care so…I’ll take good care of you.”

He didn’t want to admit what that loving look did to him. He knew it wasn’t for him, it was for Sun, but…but he wanted it anyway. God he hated that Sun got to have looks like that and be oblivious from his own neurosis.

Taking him to Sun’s room, they laid him down on the bed and stroked his face…Sun’s face. “You look irritated. What’s wrong?”

“I’m just wondering why I get this kind of attention and not other people,” it was getting harder to keep Sun’s voice.

“Because I see you, all that you’ve ever shown me, even the parts you didn’t want me to see. Like just now,” their hands slid down his chest and stomach and it made him arch, “you’re angry and don’t feel like you deserve what I want to give. But you do. No matter how bad the thoughts you’ve had, or the pain you’ve been through, you still deserve to be loved.”

They were still talking to Sun, but…he couldn’t just ignore those words when they’d hit something so deep in his soul.

“P-please keep saying that,” he begged in Sun’s reedy register, feeling it more appropriate than his own growl would have been.

“Of course, sweetheart,” they smiled so softly, making the rage and hurt in his chest well up into his eyes. Why could they not be looking at him instead? He wanted them to say this to HIM and not Sun. “Actions speak louder than words. Your actions toward me have always been considerate,” their hands slowly pulled down the jester pants and exposed the modesty hatch, which was a hair’s breadth from opening from how much Eclipse wanted to feel their touch. “and you’re worth my actions now. You are always worth loving. Always.”

The tears spilled out and the hatch opened, tendril writhing in the sudden chill of the air and petals dripping.

“Can you say that with me, hon?” their hand wrapped around his tendril and stroked gently up and down, “That you’re worth loving?”

“I…” he swallowed, having almost slipped with his voice, “I’m worth loving…”

“That’s my good boy,” they cooed, and his tendril squeezed around their arm as they kept stroking it, “Now do you want me to undress or just take care of you like this?”

“J-just like this. Please don’t stop.” Well, there went his voice a bit, and they tilted their head.

“heh, your voice gets deep when you’re running hot, huh?” they giggled and kept moving, making him gasp and grip the sheets, “It’s very sexy, though. I don’t mind.”

Oh god they’d just complimented his voice. HIS voice. “G-good…mmnn, can’t stop it now.”

“That’s fine, sweetie. You’re still my good boy. Is it okay if I touch your pussy?” their words were so warm and sweet, he just wanted to drink them.

“Please do,” Eclipse hated that he was begging but his brain was not home at the moment. He was being led around by what felt good and he just wanted to feel MORE of them doting on him.

Their smile was so bright, he focused on it and let his mouth hang open, soft moans starting as their fingers went in.

“You’re so handsome when you’re moan for me, love,” they murmured and he arched his back with a gasp as they found the tender spot inside him, “Right there, huh? Okay, thank you for telling me how you can. You’re so open for me, I love you so much.”

He couldn’t think, couldn’t speak, just crying and gasping and writhing as they pleasured him in both places, utterly lost in the sensations and how desperately he wanted their eyes to keep looking into his.

“I want you to just let yourself go as soon as you want. I’m showing you how much I care about you, and that means you get everything you need.”

That alone got him over the edge and spurting all over their hands and his stomach, whimpering as he choked on his voice.

“There we go. Aren’t you so good for me?” They leaned up and kissed him, very gently and loving. Eclipse just hummed needily into it. “Now, let me clean us up and we can cuddle.”

Nodding, he lay there and watched them. Their every move was motivated by tenderness, whispering praises for letting them take care of him, for being so still while they cleaned and not taking over, for giving them the chance to love him.

When they were both clean, the human snuggled into the bed next to him and hugged him tight. “Let’s rest, Sunshine. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

The little nickname hit him like a ton of bricks. Of course…well, the tears were already flowing, why not let them go again? Eclipse held them close and let the body enter sleep mode, because even if he wasn’t in control when it woke up, he wouldn’t want to be. He’d be keeping these memories on loop, over and over…because for a few precious seconds, he was loved.

[rightxonxmain-archived]

smolcuriouskitten:

His question threw her off for several reasons. One, hes the habit that he started that created this mess, so why should it bother him if it starts to communicate with her? Two, even if Brian didnt know her well enough outside of a relationship sense, does he not realize that shes feeling the same way about him and Alymer? And three, hes jealous of the small interactions they have?! It played in her favor that Onyx didnt show much emotion. On the inside, she was screaming at him for daring to even point something out, flipping the situation on him for not realizing how its making her feel. On the outside, she let out a small chuckle and shook her head. In her soft tone, she spoke. "I can. I didnt know that it was an issue. And here I thought we were all becoming a weird family." She teases, gently holding his face, pinching his cheeks. She knows what it feels like to be in a loveless atmosphere, she was created out of that kind of thing. Being a corrupt side was never anything nice, shes always been known to cause trouble and nothing much would change from it but since was a 'docile' side, they let her out. Her poor sister Roxie had to be kept captive since she was violent but she understood the fundamental reason for it. She was always known to be more angry and aggressive than Onyx was. Then she went abroad for awhile in the name of going to an assassination school, where they put you through hell and back to keep you in shape. Keep you free of emotion and anything vulnerable. Its why she became this hard rock of emotion and was able to manipulate situations in her favor, even going farther to study psychology to keep her mind sharp. Believe me, there wasnt a thing Alymer could convince her to do, given that she was doing her fair share of manipulating as well.

"Now how about you focus on yourself for a moment? You worry so much. How have you been feeling lately? You havent been eating as much as you should." Her hands reach for his face and gently rubs his cheeks, pressing a kiss on his forehead. She then reaches her hand to feel the temperature of the water and shakes her head. "Want me to warm up the water for you?" Brian was lucky to get this side of Onyx, since everyone else knew the coldhearted version of her.

Rick smiled and frowned in quick succession.

“—We are. Family. Well, you and me are. And I guess Aylmer is too, since I don’t have any plans on kicking him out or anything.” But Brian was lying. Not just to Onyx but to himself. He liked Aylmer, because there was no one else in the whole world like him (not that Brian knew of, anyhow) and since Aylmer was special, and linked to Brian, that made Brian special too. He no longer had to worry about not being good enough.

“I-I’m alright,” stuttered Brian. He swallowed thickly, just happy that his mouth didn’t taste like blood for once. While he was sickly without the juice, there were definitely perks to Aylmer being downed which sort of compensated for the withdrawal syndromes. He tried to remember life before parasite; he couldn’t.

“Thank you, but I really shouldn’t stay in any longer. Pruning’s still a thing, sadly. Besides, Aylmer may need something by now.” Brian smiled, regaining an ordinary sense of contentment with his face against her hand and lips, respectively. He stood, wrapping a towel around his waist and stepped over to the mirrored cabinet above the sink. How long since he’d shaved? He didn’t necessary look unshaven, but he felt unshaven… Does that make a lick of sense?

“What do you say we all go to a movie tonight? Nothing too violent, though… Aylmer gets hungry, and I don’t ever get to see how it ends when that happens…”

smolcuriouskitten // cont'd [ x ]

Keep reading

[kunikya]

Having fun yet baby ?

Yandere! Bonten! Manjiro "mikey" Sano, Rindou & ran haitani(together) x reader

Warnings: Yandere themes, implied kidnapping, possessiveness, slight gaslighting, slight smut(but not really lmao), slight ooc(first time writing TR, sorry for mistakes),Stockholm syndrome, dark and mature themes.

Words: 0.8k

𝑇𝑎𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑡

Yandere! Mikey doesn't like to get his hands dirty when it comes to you. You were his special girl, with him being one of the worst feared people in Tokyo. He doesn't need to worry about someone taking you away from him.

He shouldn't have ever never let his guard down though, for one thing, he didn't expect is for you to be the one leaving him

It doesn't make sense to him. Aren't you happy with him? Aren't you happy with the money? The gifts? Him? He gave you everything. Isn't that enough for you?

"Baby please, how about we play a game, yeah ?" You heard his cold voice from a distance. A game? Does he think this is a joke? A game when you're in a serious position between life and death, is he insane ?! You thought to yourself not leaving where you were. It was dark and quiet, all you could hear was his voice calling out to you

"Baby come out I promise to buy you more jewellery ~"

"Aren't you scared? You should just come out and cuddle with me!"

"Let's play tag, im it"

His last sentence scared you the most, the way the tone of his voice became angry and colder, you were clearly his prey under his mercy.

You were frozen, torn between running away and just giving in. If you run right now you're free, free from him. You gulped as you shakily stood up and started running as far as you could, not caring about the bushes you ran into, making your skin bleed, you just needed to escape him.

You panted opening your eyes and looking behind seeing you weren’t in the same area anymore. Your eyes looked to the right seeing the lights of the city and the sound of bustling cars. You smiled to yourself thinking you escaped.

"You're it." You felt a hand on your shoulder. Your heart dropped at the realization.

You can't truly escape manjiro Sano.

𝑀𝑦 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑠 𝑚𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑔𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑢𝑛

Yandere! Haitani brothers who don't let anyone touch you besides his brother 

Ran is a big meanie to you. He was strict, you had to obey his orders no matter what. But don't worry his younger brother is there to spoil you and make your heart flutter with sweet words.

But don't get fooled by yandere! Rindou's sweet smile. In reality, he's worse than his brother. He would shower you with gifts, praises, money and everything you need just so he could see the look on your face when he breaks you.

Never once did you disobey the brother they gave you everything. How could you not return a favour? Ran was a meanie to you sure but the way his cock stuffs your tight cunt made you forget about how an asshole he is, he always uses sex as an outlet for how he really feels about you. 

"Fuck– aw baby don't cry I'm sorry for being so mean to you earlier"

"Princess you make me feel so good…You're perfect" 

In bed, he's such a sweet talker, but out of the bedroom, he never seems to acknowledge you and your efforts. It started to make you feel insecure, were you not good enough? Will he throw you out once he finds a better girl to fuck? These thoughts started to pool in your mind without realizing your tears were slipping down your chin. 

The younger haitani noticed you crying. He hated how his brother treated you. Why can't you see he's right there? He went up to you asking what was wrong. You cried on his chest, hugging him tightly. You sobbed about your insecurities with ran to rin, on the outside he looks like he's sympathizing but on the inside he just wanted you to open your eyes to see he's better. He held onto your hand tightly, enough to make you gasp. "Rin…what are you–" you took one good look at his face

You were met with a blank expression but you felt his Lavender eyes piercing at you. "Why can't you see I'm better for you ?" He stared at you blankly cupping your face. You didn't know what to say, this was all too sudden. "I gave you everything and this is how you repay me ?" His hands travelled to your neck, choking you slightly. "All the things I do and you still talk about ran? Maybe you don't deserve to talk at all, yeah ?" You struggled to breathe reaching for his hand, begging him to stop.

He chuckled seeing the horrifying expression on your face. "Aw, what's the matter? I'm not actually going to do something bad to my sweet darling." He let go of your neck, making you gasp for air. 

"I love you, darling, sorry for my little burst." He kissed you on the lips. You would've forgiven him if this didn't already happen a million times. 

It was a sad cycle you can't escape from. 

[stiingrayyyy]

Just You and Me, B.H.

Just You and Me

Pairings — Ben Hargreeves x GN!Reader

Summary — Ben didn’t know how long he had left to live, he didn’t get to say everything he wanted to tell you.

Warnings — swearing, mild angst towards the end, mention of death, tell me if I missed any <3

A/N — this is my first official post on tumblr! I’m sorry to the ones who wanted the heavy angst but that’s not until part two (if you want a second part). This is a different writing style than what I’m used to, please give any constructive criticism. Y/n’s pronouns are they/them and Klaus’s pronouns are he/they.

Being Reginald Hargreeves's child isn't easy. Constant training, missions left and right, it all seems endless and you'd never have a normal childhood. His children have several ways of coping.

Klaus sneaks out of the house to go to parties, intoxicating himself with liquor and weed.

Luther and Allison spend too much time together to forget and run away from responsibilities.

Viktor plays violin because he was convinced he was ordinary, powerless, and different from his siblings. This made him question why Reginald had him to begin with.

Diego distracted himself with anything he could. He would go out and look for conflict just so he could end it and save the day. He needed action, he needed something to keep his mind racing so he won't worry about his home and relationship with his father. He needed praise to feel validated, some would say he has and is experiencing some sort of hero syndrome.

Ben? He loved to paint and sketch. He would lock himself in his room for hours just to be alone to create art. There were papers taped to the wall, canvases hung from several of his works.

"I don't understand the craze with glazed donuts. I really don't." Klaus bit into a fresh jelly donut, rolling his eyes back as he savoured the flavour that exploded into his mouth.

The children escaped again.

They snuck out to have donuts and coffee. It was tradition, and somehow they get away with it. Every 12th of the month at 10:00pm they would leave the house and walk to Griddy's Doughnuts.

"Glazed donuts are amazing. They're simple yet sweet," Ben defended his regular order, taking small bites to properly enjoy the donut while he watched Klaus finish his in two bites.

"That's disgusting." Allison laughed, eying her sibling.

"What's wrong with it?" Klaus licked their fingers, downing their cup of coffee all in one. "It's less messy that way."

"No, it isn't!"

Ben began to slowly drown out the sounds of his siblings arguing. His attention made its way across the cafe, his gaze falling upon a teenager who sat alone at a booth. He could've sworn he's seen them before, he could've sworn they met, but at the same time, he knew for a fact that this was his first time laying his eyes on you.

"..Ben? Ben? Earth to Benerrino!" Klaus waved their hand in front of him and he finally snapped out of it when you looked back at him.

"Sorry?" Ben blinked a few times, looking at his sibling as he held his cup of tea in both his hands.

Klaus raised an eyebrow, looking back to see what Ben had been staring at. A smile was brought to his face when he turned back to look at Ben, eyes going wide. "Ben! You think that person is cute, right?"

"Shh! Shh!" Ben clasped a hand over their mouth, glancing over at the teenager to see if they heard.

And sure enough, you did.

"I'm flattered." You said, earning the attention of all six Hargreeves siblings. "Thanks, Ben."

Number Six seemed to stop working for a moment. His eyes widened as he stared at you in shock, face covered with a cherry red hue. "Y-Yeah. Yeah, you— yeah." He smiled and nodded, sipping from his cup as he turned away.

"Bennerino~" Klaus gave his brother a wink, sticking his tongue out as he paid for his snacks.

"Klaus!" Ben whisper-shouted, giving them a death glare as he finished his cup of tea. One after the other, each sibling finished, paid, and walked back home.

Ben couldn't help but spare a glance, looking back at you as he and his siblings exited the shop.

When he looked back at the path in front of him, he caught Klaus's stare in his peripheral vision. He gave them a scoff, rolling his eyes as he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, darting away before Klaus could annoy him with their bickering.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

Being Reginald Hargreeves's child isn't easy. Constant training, missions left and right, it all seems endless and you'd never have a normal childhood. His children have several ways of coping.

Klaus sneaks out of the house and attends teenage parties while doping and drinking himself silly.

Allison and Luther spend inordinate amounts of time together letting their responsibilities slip their minds.

Viktor plays the violin because he believes he is unexceptional, weak, and distinct from his siblings. He knows he's different and every day he asks himself why Reginald chose to keep him, or why Reginald even took him in the first place if all Viktor ever got was neglect.

Diego tries to divert his attention from his family life in every way he can. He needs action to keep his mind active. He needs validation to keep going. He needs to be seen as a hero.

Ben creates art.

Ever since that day at the cafe, you didn’t leave his mind. He dedicated his free time to a new work of art. The inspiration was you.

His delicate fingers held the piece of charcoal in a gentle, yet firm grip. With every stroke, a distinct mark was left behind. He made each line unique from the one previously. His movements were smooth, not a muscle was tensed.

When he finished, he took a deep breath. The fresh oxygen from his open window filled his lungs before escaping his lips, dusting off the excess charcoal on the page. Ben smiled at his piece, gliding the tip of his index finger along the jawline of the teenager on the paper.

It was you, the one from the cafe.

He looked out the window. He watched as the sun painted the molten sky with various reds and oranges along with dashes of purple and pink. It was a work of art within itself.

He glanced over to the clock on his wall, then back out the window. He carefully rolled the drawing in his hands, stepping outside of the window and using his tentacles to make his way down onto the grass.

He looked behind himself, searching for any sign of life through the windows of the Hargreeves Mansion. When it was clear, he ran out of the gate.

Ben sat at Griddy's Doughnuts, a cup of tea placed in both his hands while a glazed donut sat in front of him on a ceramic plate.

"You're alone?"

Ben snapped out of his thoughts, looking at the owner of the voice.

"Yeah," he responded.

Agnus knew the Hargeeeves siblings would always come in packs, she found it strange how there was only one of them at the counter. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

Ben smiled. "Nothing bad, no. Thank you for asking, though." He hadn't remembered the last time someone asked him if he was okay and meant it. The question was simple, but hearing the sincerity behind it was enough to make him smile.

He sat there and waited. The drawing was by the plate, and he began to ponder; he began to overthink. He hadn't talked to you and he already drew you. He didn't have bad intentions, but he didn't want it to come off as creepy. He began to have second thoughts, like he was doing something wrong.

Ben finished up his tea and donut. He grabbed the drawing and placed some coins on the table before leaving the cafe. His head was down, almost ashamed even though he did nothing wrong. He pushed the door open and collided with someone.

He gasped and dropped the piece of paper and watched it fly away in the subtle breeze. Before he got to react, someone grabbed it. He looked at the person and froze.

"Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going." You sheepishly smiled. The paper was unrolled you looked at it.

"I am so sorry." Ben bowed down to show respect. "I know it might be creepy but I promise I'm not a creep. I mean no harm, I just- I just thought that you were—"

"Cute?" You recalled what Klaus called you.

Ben stood up straight, looking at you with cherry-stained cheeks. He said nothing, not denying nor confirming the assumption.

"That's what your brother said last week." You scanned the piece of art, a 'wow' falling under your breath before you handed it back. "You're talented. I can't even draw a straight stick figure. I envy you."

"You? You envy... me?"

"Yes."

"You don't think I was being creepy?"

"No, not at all."

"Are you sure?"

"Stop overthinking it, Ben." You took a step towards the door of the cafe. "I hope to see you around more often."

Ben stilled as the corners of his lips formed a smile. He nodded, then his expression dropped, watching you walk into the shop. "Wait! What's your—"

"Y/n."

Ben paused, "Y/n?"

"That's my name."

The smile returned to his face, "thank you."

You waved, finally walking through the doors and sitting at his usual spot by the window. You looked at Ben, an instant smile lit up your face when he looked back. You held a hand up and waved, earning a rather excited wave back. You began to wonder if you would ever get a moment with Ben, even if it was just to sit together and have coffee; as friends. "There's nothing wrong with having a glazed donut."

— ( ☂︎ ) —

"See, Klaus? Even Y/n agrees that glazed donuts are amazing." Ben defended his favourite treat, biting out of the freshly glazed donut.

"I said there's nothing wrong with a glazed donut. I didn't say they were amazing." It didn't take long for you to get along with the Hargreeves siblings. Especially when Klaus kept nagging Ben to invite you.

"Ha! Y/n agrees with me!" Klaus slammed his hand against the table.

"Hey, woah, woah. I didn't say that either!" You laughed along with the others, heart filled with joy and happiness. You didn’t remember the last time you hung out with other teenagers and felt like you belonged.

"Guys, we should head out." Allison said, "it's getting late. Ben hurry up, it's two more bites. Today is on me." She pulled her wallet out.

"I can pay for my own. Thank you, though, Allison." You only had a chocolate donut. You were smart enough not to have caffeine pumping in your veins before bed.

"You guys can go out, I'll meet you there." Ben looked at you, then Klaus. Klaus smirked back, to the point where their ears began to lift.

You thought you were included in the 'you guys', so you shuffled around to get your wallet back in your pocket. Ben noticed this and quickly took your wrist.

"Not you." He spoke firmer than he intended, "please." His voice softened as he let go of your wrist, bashfully looking at the bottom of his glass while he took another bite of his donut.

You locked eyes with him, then you fell silent, sitting back down with cheeks tinted pink. “Why me?”

Ben turned away again, it was just his timid nature, this boy can never keep eye contact for too long without freaking out. “I was wondering… maybe on Friday we could meet up again?”

“This Friday? I thought Luther had something important coming up. His personal training with your father? That poor guy is going to overwork himself all day…” you looked out the window to look at the Umbrella Academy’s number one. “So we’re just gonna leave him out? If he finds out he’ll be heartbroken.”

“No, uhm…” Ben tapped the edge of his cup. “I was actually hoping it would be us? Just you and me.”

“Just you and me?” Your eyes seemed to light up the second he spoke. The most foolish smile crawled onto your face as you nodded. “Yeah.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.” You nodded, “I would love that. Just you and me.”

Ben’s heart beat out of his chest. Oh, he was such a loser in love. He nodded frantically, finishing the rest of his donut quickly. He covered his mouth as he chewed, shy and polite. He then made his way outside.

“Ready?” Allison motioned for the others to follow her as Luther walked by her side, leading the siblings back to the mansion.

“I’ll see you! Friday at noon!” Ben walked with his siblings with a hand in his pocket, the other one waving goodbye.

“Friday! Noon!” You carried through with his energy and waved back. Then you turned on your heel and went home.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

“You’re not going to get in trouble, will you?” Your cup of coffee was finished about an hour ago. An hour ago was also when you and Ben agreed to go back home and call it a day. You didn’t even recall how the conversation kept going, but it did.

“I should be fine,” Ben glanced at the clock, then back at his empty plate that once had two donuts on it. His signature glazed donut and your vanilla-sprinkled one. You got a different donut each time you came. “Thank you for coming with me today.” Words couldn’t express his gratitude, “I’m not saying that I don’t like coming here with my siblings, it’s just… good to have a real friend.”

Your heart warmed at his words, “thank you for asking me out, Ben.” You placed a hand atop his. “I really enjoyed spending time together; just you and me.”

“Do you think…” he began, “..we can see each other again? Only if you want to, that is. There’s no shame in rejecting, I don’t want you to feel obliged to say yes or anything—“

“Yes.” You said with confidence, laughing at the way he began to ramble. “I’d love to, Ben.” You gently gripped his hand, “the second date is always better than the first.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, mind empty. All he focused on was the way you hand your hand placed on his. As seconds passed, the words finally registered. “Wait, second date? This— th-this was a date?”

You instantly took your hand away, “that was my impression. I’m so sorry if I assumed wrong. I should’ve asked.” You felt foolish. You felt as though you were making bold assumptions and you read him wrong. Your ego was making the decisions. “That’s embarrassing.” You laughed it off.

“No, no! There’s nothing wrong with this being a date!” Ben grabbed both of your hands, holding them with a delicate grip. “It actually makes all of this ten times better.”

“Really?” A wave of relief washed over you as you emitted a soft sigh. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to lie to spare my feelings. I was getting a bit too ahead of myself.”

“I’m not lying,” he brushed his thumb over the back of your hand. “I mean every word.”

Butterflies swarmed in your stomach. Never once has anyone made you feel this weak in the knees. “Thank you, Ben.”

“Just know that I would never lie to you. Ever,” he moved his hand, linking his pinky with yours as if he was a seven-year-old boy. “Promise.”

The gesture was so small, so childish, “alright, then.” But this pinky promise held a special place in your heart. “Promise.”

— ( ☂︎ ) —

“Can we just stay like this?” He sat beside you on top of a building with the city beneath you. “It’s so much better up here.”

“Don’t you have a training session with your father?” You looked at him, “and you can’t miss it because that’s how you’re supposed to spend the rest of your day?”

Ben didn’t return your gaze, he just looked down at his lap with his legs swinging back and forth on the edge, “..yeah.”

“And if you don’t show up, you’ll get in trouble and he’ll get mad.”

“I know,” his voice was barely over a whisper.

“So… you should go back. I don’t want you to get in trouble with your father.” You carefully took his face in your hand, tipping his head up to look at you. “It’s okay, Ben. I’ll be fine. You can go.”

“It’s just—“ Ben sighed, shuffling around to get comfortable now that he was facing you. “I don’t want to go. If I do, he’s going to make me kill again.”

“Kill?”

He nodded, “and I don’t want to keep doing it.”

You were at loss for words. You couldn’t tell him to ‘not go’, it was his father and he couldn’t just avoid him. You noticed how he began to tremble, his hands shook along with his quivering lip. “Ben.” You held his hands, “you can drop by my place after.”

“It’s going to be late. Your parents won’t notice?” His voice rose in volume, “I-I don’t want to get you in trouble. It’s an inconvenience. It’s fine, I’ll just see you next week. It’s fine, I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll keep my window open for you.”

“No, no. You don’t have to do that. I told you, I’ll be fine.”

“If you say so,” you rubbed your thumb over the top of his hand. “I’m still going to keep it open. Just in case.”

How did he get so lucky? If someone told him one month ago that he’d make a friend that cared about him as a person rather than a member of the Umbrella Academy, he wouldn’t believe you.

“Okay,” he shot you a smile.

That smile never failed to warm your heart. “Now get us down, Benny Boy.”

He slithered his arm around your waist and you secured your hands on his shoulders. Tentacles sprouted from his back and he safely took you down the building.

“I’ve got you,” he noticed how you held onto him with a deathly grip. “I’m not gonna let you go.”

“You better not,” you laughed, burying your face into the crook of his neck with closed eyes. You took a deep breath, taking in the comforting scent that lingered in his skin and clothing.

When he made it to the ground, he ran his fingers through your hair. “You can let go now.”

You reopened your eyes, looking at the boy. The proximity was close, breathtaking. “What if I don’t want to?” You thought out loud, realizing only when his tanned cheeks tinted red.

“Then that wouldn’t be so bad, would it?” You could feel his subtle breath on your skin.

You moved a hand from his shoulder to his chest, “your heart is beating a mile a minute.” You teased.

“Who’s fault is that?” He teased you back, leaning in closer. His eyes fixated on your lips for no more than a ninth of a second before looking back at your eyes.

“Mine,” you admitted with no shame. With every passing second, Ben inched closer to your face. You looked at his lips, then his eyes as you leaned closer to him.

“I’ve never done this before,” he whispered.

“Neither have I.” You matched his tone..

“May I?”

“May you, what?” You teased him once again.

Ben paused, his breath trembled and you felt it. “May I kiss you?”

“You may.”

“Ben!” The boy was taken away from your grasp. “Dad’s been looking for you! He’s not in the best mood today, Benerrino. You know to never keep the old man waiting!”

You couldn’t even say anything, Klaus had already run off with their brother. The only thing you got was Ben’s glance back. He looked as if he was apologizing with his eyes, a deep frown engraved on his face.

“Klaus!” Ben ripped his wrist out of their grip.

“You know how strict dad is. I don’t want him to get mad at you.” He looked back, he saw you turn and walk away. “Oh shit.” He whispered under his breath, “Ben, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine.” His tone was sharp enough to kill. “Let’s just go see dad.”

— ( ☂︎ ) —

You haven’t left your room since you arrived home. You were still salty about the episode earlier with Ben and Klaus. You kept your word and left the window open in case Ben dropped by, but time was ticking.

11:11pm.

Curfew at the Umbrella Academy was two hours ago, so you assumed that Ben wasn’t coming. You swung your legs off the edge of your bed and slowly made your way towards the window.

“Y/n?”

“Ben?” You called out, moving your curtains out of the way. “Holy shit,” you held your hand out and helped him inside. “Careful, don’t sit on the bed.” You kept your voice in a low whisper.

He didn’t speak, he only nodded.

You rushed out of your room to grab a cloth then pulled the wooden chair from your desk when you got back. “Sit here, it’s okay. Just relax.”

“How do you expect me to relax?” His voice instantly broke as tears pooled at the bottom of his eyes. “I’ve been trying to relax, for- for the past two hours!” He was careful not to raise his voice too much.

“Are you hurt?“ You used the cloth to wipe the blood off his hands.

He shook his head.

“Did he hurt you?”

“Not physically.”

“Are you… okay?”

He shook his head, “not emotionally.”

Silence lingered in the air as you washed the blood off his skin. When you finished with his hands you went to his neck, then his face. You stopped for a moment, taking this time to cup his cheek. Ben leaned into your touch, shutting his eyes and placed a hand on top of yours. Tears silently trickled down his cheeks as he took in the comfort of your hand. You began to gently wipe the damp cloth over his blood-stained cheeks.

“Do you think I’m a monster?” He looked at you.

“No,” you stated with confidence, “no you’re not. You’re no monster. It’s not your fault. Your dad made you do it, you didn’t have a choice.” You reassured him the best you could. You’re okay now. You’re safe here.” You whispered sweet affirmations. “Thank you for choosing me, tonight.” When you finished, you placed the cloth on your desk. “I’m glad that you’re here with me, Ben.”

“Me too,” he moved away from your hand and stood up. His eyes didn’t leave yours, not once. “Can I have a hug?” A sob slipped past his lips with his words. You didn’t say anything, instantly leaning into his chest and wrapping your arms around him. He began to cry as he returned the embrace, crumpling your shirt up in his hands.

“I’m here, Ben. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You make me feel safe.” He whispered into your hair, “when I’m with you, the rest of the world melts away. Like nothing else matters but you and me.”

Those butterflies came back. They fluttered in your tummy with excitement and wonder.

“Hey, Y/n?”

“Yes?” You pulled away from the embrace but kept your hands on either side of Ben’s body. You didn’t want to let go of him, not yet.

“I’m really happy that you’re in my life.” He brushed a few strands of hair out of your face. “Being with you makes me feel stronger, and I wish you could see yourself the way I do. Because I can’t think of any word that comes close to the way you make me feel.”

You were at loss for words. You wanted nothing more than to hold him in your arms and keep him safe, away from his stupid excuse for a father. “I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s okay,” his hand rubbed your side. “You don’t have to say anything.” He looked at your lips, “you’re perfect.” His stare dallied before darting up into your eyes. “May I?”

“Yes,” you closed the gap, wrapping your arms around his neck as he engulfed your body with ease. In that moment, it was as if the world stopped spinning; like nothing else in the world mattered.

The kiss lingered, and Ben began to move his lips, slowly running his hands down your body. He held your hips in a soft grasp. Then he finally parted.

“Ben…” his name rolled off your tongue like a melody. You leaned in for another kiss, pushing him down on your mattress. He didn’t have time to react, toppling over with a giggle. “Please stay,” you gasped for air.

“Stay?” He kicked his shoes off and got comfortable on the bed, “are you sure about this?”

“Yes,” you gave him an extra pillow and laid next to him. “I want you to stay.” You snuggled up next to him.

“Hey, Y/n?”

“Mhm?”

“Can I be your boyfriend?”

Your smile lit up the dim room, “yes.” You gave him one last peck on the lips before closing your eyes to fall asleep. There was nothing more comforting than the feeling of his arms around your body, his hand running through your hair as you fall asleep.

But the next day when you awoke, he was gone.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

“Will you stay this time?” You asked for the millionth time as you laid on your boyfriend’s chest, taking a slow and deep breath as you shuffled around to get comfortable. “I want to wake up beside you this time.” The sleepiness was slowly taking over you.

“I’m sorry I didn’t stay,” Ben whispered, “I couldn’t risk my dad catching me out. It was only recently he stopped putting cameras in our rooms, if even one of us gets caught, all of us are busted.” He was truly sorry. He wanted to wake up by your side. He wanted to wake up with you in his arms. But he couldn’t risk getting his siblings in trouble.

“Cameras in your room?” Your voice was groggy, you didn’t even pay attention to what he said, you stopped processing what he said after ‘cameras in our rooms’. “That’s messed up,” your words were slurring together.

“Sleepyhead, just close your eyes and rest. You need it.”

“Mnn…”

The sound of your gentle snores filled the darkened room. He fixed his position, looking down at you while keeping you secure in his arms. His lips formed a frown as he moved bits of your hair out of your face. He planted a delicate kiss on your forehead, sighing deeply, “God, I love you…” if he got caught, his father would be furious. He knows that he’d be forbidden from seeing you, and he didn’t want to risk it. He got himself in a mess, a lovely, wonderful mess. Things would be so much easier if he didn’t love you, but he didn’t regret a single thing. He’d choose you over his father in a heartbeat.

12:00am.

He needed to get home, so he did. He carefully placed you down on the bed, properly bringing your blanket to your chin. “I’m sorry, Sweetheart.” He whispered, pressing another kiss on your forehead. “I have to go.” He spoke as though you were awake though you were fast asleep. He walked towards the window, watching as you got comfortable in your slumber. He stood by the window and stared at you. He didn’t move, he didn’t turn away, he just stared at you with pure love. You were the first to treat him right, the first to take care of him out of the kindness of your own heart, the first to truly love him, yet he always left before the morning. Not once have you woken up to him by your side. Did he deserve you.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

“Ben?” You approached him and he and his siblings walked out of Griddy’s Doughnuts. It was their monthly sneak-out plan and for the first time in seven months, you didn’t tag along. “Sorry to bother you, I was going to the library, and… this was close by.”

“Going to the library? This late at night?” His eyes went wide, “it’s dangerous. You don’t know what kind of creeps are out there.”

“I’m fine, Ben. Really, I–”

“Ben, let’s go,” Luther called out.

“I need to go.” He made his way past you, but you grabbed his wrist. He turned to face you, effortlessly prying himself from your grasp.

“Can we go out on Sunday? Nothing fancy, just here.” You looked at the donut shop. “Griddy’s Doughnuts. You get the glazed donut and I’ll get the one with sprinkles?”

He squinted as he listened to you. You were being oddly specific, and it worried him. “No, sorry, I’m busy this Sunday.”

“How about Tuesday?”

“Ben! Let’s go!” Allison shouted.

“I need to go,” Ben took a few steps away from you. “I’m sorry. I’ll see you around.”

“I’ll see you–” midsentence and he was running off. “...around.” You ended up going on Wednesday, but not to Griddy’s Doughnuts. Instead you and Ben crashed in your room for the day. The second he stepped through the front door, the atmosphere changed. You didn’t know what it is, but it was heavier. It was mildly uncomfortable and you could tell Ben felt it too.

“You should go home.” Now you were laying on his chest like you always did whenever he came. You two snuggled up with each other whenever the sun began to set, that hasn’t changed. But today is different: the elephant in the room didn’t want to leave.

“It’s nine. A little early for me to leave, don’t you think?” He muttered into your hair. “Let me stay.” He remembered how you used to always ask him to stay, and now you were the one pushing him away.

You shrugged, “I’m feeling tired. I’m going to sleep early tonight.”

“I’ll stay until you fall asleep,” he brushed the back of his hand on your cheek before holding it.

“You never stay, anyways. It’s fine. Just go.” You moved away from his touch.

That was a first.

“What’s wrong?” Something was in the air before, he knew something was wrong, he knew you knew something was wrong. He acted on it first.

“Nothing.” You dismissed it.

“Y/n, you know you can talk to me.”

You shook your head, pursing your lips as you felt the tears begin to form in your eyes. “We barely see each other anymore,” you muttered, “when we do it’s… awkward. It’s not the same as before.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry.” He shut his eyes, sighing heavily. “I should’ve talked to you earlier. Shutting you out probably wasn’t the best idea.”

“What’s going on, Benny Boy?”

“Us being together… is risky. Especially with my strict dad and all. I feel like I should’ve thought about that before foolishly asking you out.” He couldn’t bear to look at you.

“What are you…” your voice trailed off into utter silence. You looked at him, desperately wanting to meet his gaze. “...what are you implying?” The second those words left your mouth, you wished they didn’t.

“I love you,” Ben began. “I may be seventeen, I may be young, and people say kids like us don’t know what love is. But I know that I really, really love you. You’re the first to see me as who I am. Not just some boy with powers, not the boy in the Umbrella Academy, not Number Six, but you see me as Ben.” He glanced down at you for a moment, but he couldn’t stand that mere second of your pained expression. “I love you, Y/n,” he caressed your arm with his hand, “but if my dad finds out we’re together, he’ll stop us from seeing each other. I’m mistreating you, we don’t see each other as often as we used to because I’m playing it safe. It’s unfair, and you deserve better.”

“Ben, I can wait. I can wait as long as I need to. It’s okay. I don’t mind, I know you’re busy,” you sat up straight, hand gripping his bicep. “I can wait.”

“I don’t want to do this, but it’s better for us to take a break.” His heart sank the moment he finished, finally looking at you. “I’ll come back. When I’m eighteen I can get a bit more freedom. Then we can start seeing each other again.”

You turned away when he looked at you, shaking your head slowly as tears fell from your eyes. You didn’t want this, but you were mature enough to know that he was right. He was in the Umbrella Academy, he has powers, and he isn’t a normal kid. He’s different and you recognized that. You just wished that things were different.

“So… until you’re eighteen, we can’t talk?”

“I didn’t say that,” Ben reassured you, keeping you close. He didn’t want to let go. He felt that if he did, then he’d lose you for good. “I’ll still come by and visit. You can come to Griddy’s Doughnuts with me and my siblings. I’m still going to be here.” He pulled you for a quick yet passionate kiss. “I’m still going to be here, I promise.”

“You better be,” you laughed off your sadness, wiping the tears off your cheeks. “Just stay until I fall asleep. You can go home after.” You closed your eyes and snuggled up to his body warmth. “I love you, Ben.”

“I love you too,” he took slow deep breaths, adjusting his posture for better comfort as he held you.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

You haven’t seen him in two weeks. Not a word from Ben. You kept your window ajar and the lock flipped up. You gave him opportunities to see you, but he hadn’t taken any of them yet. You tried to understand, but you didn’t expect any of this to happen. He promised he’d still be there, but you hadn’t seen him. The two weeks stretched out to three and three turned into four. You showed up at Griddy’s Doughnuts from time to time, and there was no sign of him. You gave up. You didn’t want to wait any longer. He left and didn’t have the heart to properly break it off so instead, he gave you false hope.

That was until October 1st rolled around. You spent the day off at home alone. Your parents were working, busy with their jobs. It was like any regular old day.

Or so you thought.

The knock from your front door bounced off the walls. This day was the last and only day that you had hopes for.

Today was the day Ben turned eighteen.

You rushed to the front door, swinging it open with a smile, “hey, Klaus! Happy birthday!” You stepped out and looked left and right. “Is Ben with you?”

“Not exactly,” Klaus rocked back and forth between his heels and toes. “Can I come in?”

“Yes, of course. Come on.” You ushered them inside, “where’s Ben?”

“Uh…” he took a seat on the couch, motioning for you to sit across from him. “It’s kind of complicated.” He took a heavy breath, scratching the back of his neck as he tried to find his words.

“Just spit it out already,” Ben said, leaning against the wall behind you.

Klaus glared at him.

“Something wrong?” You noticed his facial expression change, looking behind you before back at them.

“No, no, it’s all good. All good,” he leaned back, sighing once more. The atmosphere was dense, he kept looking back and forth between you two.

“Klaus!” Ben was getting impatient.

“Okay! Okay!” Klaus sat up straight then leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. “Ben wanted to tell you that he’s sorry that he didn’t spend as much time with you as he promised.”

“Ben said that?” You leaned back, arms crossed over your chest. “Why couldn’t he tell me himself? Why did he send you?”

Klaus paused, mouth agape before pursing their lips. “He’s dead.”

He said that so nonchalantly that it didn’t process, “dead?” You scanned your living room, waiting for Ben to pop out from somewhere and tell you that it was some silly prank. “Funny, Klaus. Where is he?”

“No, Y/n you don’t understand.” His head fell into his hands. “Ben died on a mission two weeks ago.” He looked at the ghost that stood behind you, “and he’s sorry. He’s sorry since… y’know, he can’t be here with you. I don’t know why he’s so apologetic, it’s not his fault he died or anything.”

All of this was still too much to process. You were in shock, in heavy denial. “Ben?” You looked at Klaus as if they were a massive liar. “Like… Ben Hargreeves. He died? Two weeks ago?”

“Yeah,” they rubbed their hands together, frowning. “I’m sorry you found out this way.”

“No,” your voice instantly broke and tears spilled out of your eyes as if they were on command. You wiped the oncoming them away with the sleeves of your sweater. You tried to stop them but they kept going. The ache in your heart never stopped, it still hasn’t recovered from the last time you saw him. Hearing this news and knowing you wouldn’t see him again was heart-rending. “No, no, no. Klaus, you’re playing a sick game. You’re getting too good at this shit.” You laughed, leaning back on the couch with your sleeved hand over your eyes. “Please stop it, you little shit. This isn’t funny.”

“I’m not lying! Do you think I’d lie about something like this? My brother’s death? Y/n… it hurts me as much as it hurts you. Ben is gone.” Klaus stayed strong for you, he didn’t show signs of weakness or sorrow. They already spent all of that within the first week, they didn’t need to cry again.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” You buried your head in your hands, biting on your bottom lip to ease the pain and keep it together. “You've got to be fucking kidding me.”

Ben could see it. He could see how hard you tried to keep it in. He could hear the heartbreak in your voice and the pain in your body language. He moved from behind you to in front of you. He wanted all of this to stop, he wanted your suffering to end. Watching you lament felt like he was shot through the heart.

“I’m sorry,” Ben said, “I really am.” His voice quavered, “I wish things were different, but I did what I thought I had to do.” He reached out to touch your cheek, only for his hand to glow blue as it passed right through you. “If you could see yourself the way I do, then you’d know how much I love you. You’d know how sorry I am, you’d know how much I m-miss you.” He reached out again, but the same thing happened. “I’d do anything to hold you one last time.” He couldn’t bear to speak anymore, his voice cracked and he had to wipe the tears from his eyes. “You don’t deserve any of this.” But he kept talking. He hoped that a miracle would happen, he wanted you to hear him. “Y/n please… please, please. I love you. I love you, please I need you to know.” He reached out to pull you into an embrace, only to feel emptiness in his arms.

“Ben loves you,” Klaus said.

“I know.” You began to question your own statement. You began to question what Ben told you before he left. “Jesus Christ.” You whispered under your breath and stood up, walking right through Ben as you made your way out of the living room. “Klaus just- just leave.”

“But, Y/n—“

“Klaus leave.” Your voice was as sharp as a blade. “Don’t make me say it a third time.” You turned to them with slanted eyebrows. “Leave.”

“I’ll see you around, okay?” Klaus waved as he walked towards the exit. “I’ll see you some other day. Take care of yourself, please.”

You didn’t respond and walked to your bedroom. The second you got in there the door slammed shut. You slid down the wall and tried your hardest to control your breathing, but nothing you did could help. Your hands shook violently as a scream ripped your vocal cords.

Ben’s heart shattered. The agony behind your voice was enough to break him to pieces. He sat on the other side of the door with tear-stained cheeks. If he knew that four weeks ago would be the last time he’d hold you, he’d hold you tighter. If he knew that four weeks ago would be the last time he’d talk to you, he wouldn’t have stopped talking until the both of you were passed out. He would’ve stayed by your side until the sun rose and you opened your eyes.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

Being Reginald Hargreeves's child isn't easy. Constant training, missions left and right, it all seems endless and you'd never have a normal childhood. His children have several ways of coping.

Klaus sneaks out of the house to go to teen parties where he overindulges in alcohol and pumps drugs into his veins.

Allison and Luther lock themselves up in a room where they can be alone and undisturbed. This way they can forget about their responsibilities.

Viktor plays the violin because he isn’t special. He isn’t like his siblings, he’s powerless and weak.

Diego seeks attention. Any attention that validates him as a hero is enough to feed his ego.

Ben can no longer hold a pencil or paintbrush the way he used to. All he can do is watch his loved ones suffer and get hurt. Ben’s heart was broken, knowing that he passed on his misery and misfortune to the one he loved most.

Part two? If I write it, it’s going to be a bit more angsty, no fluff, and it’s going to be shorter (hopefully). Tell me if you want to be tagged.

I may or may not already have an idea.

tags: @xenijk @vivsmcdo