#I never gotten fanart before this is such an honour

[compaculaaa]

WE MADE IT FOLKS!!!!! 1st ever sparkling fanart (Well more like collab now) Thank you @ratchetonsteroids for drawing this beautiful Longarm/Shockwave (I helped draw the Blurr)

[silvysartfulness]

Hi. I don't think we've ever communicated before, but a very long time ago when I was still a teenager I searched the internet for Ocarina of Time fanart and found your old site, silvestris.net

I thought your art was beautiful, and printed some of the pictures out to decorate my room with. I read your fanfics about Kopi Rezo, and sought out the Slayers anime to watch it for myself.

A whole heck of a lot of stuff has happened since then, in my life and in the world, but I randomly thought of your old work a few minutes ago, and after clicking through the old site's links found your tumblr just now.

I wanted you to know that your art and writing touched me at a formative period in my life, and that even though a lot of the old gallery is inaccessible now, I can still see some of your drawings in my mind, committed to long term memory.

I never got very good at drawing, though I'll still do it for fun sometimes, but I've been writing fanfiction for a long time now, and if I'm willing to flatter myself I'd say I've gotten fairly decent at it. Even done some original stories.

I wanted you to know, one creator to another, that you inspired me. That you left such an impression that even after all this time I remember you. I tell you this not because I expect you to feel any type of way about some stranger you never met, but because in these times where a lot of artists are wondering what the point even is when their work is so undervalued, that I think it would mean a lot to me if someone ever said words to this effect about the things I've created.

Thank you for adding beauty and wonder to my life. I hope you've been well all these years and found creative fulfillment in your endeavors, and security and happiness in your personal life.

With love, a fan.

I've just been coming back to this message several times over the last few days, rereading it, tearing up a bit, and repeatedly failing to think of a good way to answer.

So in all inadequacy: THANK YOU so much for your kind words, anon!

I am very, very flattered and honoured to have been able to provide inspiration, adding beauty and wonder to a stranger's life. That is the most worthwhile legacy I can imagine leaving as proof of having existed on this earth for a while. 💚

Thank you so much yet again for your kind words, and I wish you all the best of luck with all your creative endeavours in the future!

[cameronspecial]

Thorn In My Side, Rose In My Hand (Part 11)

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: Reference to a Panic Attack and Spoilers for The Cruel Prince.

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 3.0K

Summary: Halloween, the best holiday of the year is meant to be spent with the people you love.

A/N: Definitely not me adding in the KitKat part because I just went on a road trip in the US and my Canadian self was disappointed with the KitKat.

Masterlist

Friday night, Y/N finally has her first book club meeting. Rafe sits beside her with one hand on her thigh and the other holding his book. “I like how confident Jude’s character is. She is so badass,” Rafe inputs into the conversation. When the other members of the club found out Rafe is a part of it, it is safe to say they were shocked at the revelation and didn’t expect him to actually read the book. But ever since Rafe and Y/N started reading together every night, he has actually gotten through a few books. If they weren’t sleeping in bed together, they’d FaceTime each other and just bathe in the knowledge that the other was a shout away. For the book for the club, they would often take turns reading to each other. “Yass, she is an absolute queen. Like becoming a spy was so awesome,” Kate adds. The conversation continues until the hour is up and everyone has gone home. Y/N is getting herself a snack when she feels Rafe drop his chin onto her shoulder. He gives her a gentle kiss, “I think we should dress as Jude and Cardan for Halloween. You can put your hair up in horns and wear a dress. I can put on one of those flowy shirts that are like a pirate shirt. You’d love it.”

“That’s a great idea, we can go into town now to see what we can get. Ooh, but we should look at fan art first,” Y/N rattles, completely abandoning her snack to go check her phone. Rafe smiles as he sees the excitement on her face. She shows him multiple different pictures and he gives her his thoughts about it. Before he knows it, they are going into town to see what they could find. 

———

Halloween is Y/N’s favourite holiday. The idea of being able to pretend to be whoever one wants is appealing to her. This Halloween is especially exciting for her because Rafe actually wants to do a couples costume with her. Rafe is throwing a Halloween bash in honour of the holiday and she knows he is going all out just for her. He had her help him pick out a multitude of decorations, drinks and candies. She is trying to follow the video to make the horns with her hair for the costume, but she quickly grows frustrated with the task. “Ugh,” she lets out very loudly. This summons Rafe into the bathroom from the adjoining bedroom, “What’s wrong, my rose?” “This video is literally the hardest thing I have ever done,” she complains to her boyfriend. Rafe gives her a wicked smile and approaches her, “Here let me try.” 

He begins to work on her hair and she watches, shocked that he is able to do it without even having to watch the video. He can see her questioning gaze through the mirror, “I’ve been practicing how to do it with my sisters’ help. It took a lot of hair-pulling and arguing, but we were eventually able to nail it.” She feels a rush of heat spread across her neck at the effort Rafe is going through to make their first Halloween together perfect. She never asked him to do any of this, but he went out of his way to make the environment comfortable for her. “Thank you,” she whispers once he is done with her hair, turning to give a kiss on his exposed collarbone in the pirate shirt. He has yet to put on the crown or feather cape they had custom-made based on the fanart they saw. “You’re welcome. Could you help me put on a little eyeliner, please? It seems like something Cardan would do,” Rafe replies, reaching into her makeup bag to bring out the eyeliner. 

She gives a small nod of her head and pats the counter for him to sit on top of. He does as instructed and they both laugh as they realize it made him too tall. Y/N motions over to the toilet for him to sit on. Once he is seated, she brings his head into her hand and starts to apply the eyeliner. He starts to squirm in her hand, making it harder for her to do what she needs to. “Cameron, stop moving,” she chastises, holding onto his head harder. He shakes his head a little, “I can’t. It tickles. 

“Well if you don’t, then it will be all smudged.” 

“Ughh, okay.”

“Rafe Jacob Cameron! Stay still. I’ll give you a kiss if you do.”

“Okay, fine.”

She finishes doing his eyeliner and goes to apply her own lipstick. Rafe is quick to press a kiss onto her lips, smudging her lipstick and imprinting some of it onto his lips. She giggles at the messy lipstick on her boyfriend's lips. She moves from between his legs and goes to get a wet cloth to wipe his lips. “Now, let me get you your crown,” she says, walking over to where it sits in his dress and placing it on his head. Rafe smiles up at her and relishes in the kiss she places on his forehead, “This kinda reminds me of the coronation scene from the book.” 

“Yeah, it kinda does feel like that with you being shorter than me right now. We should’ve gotten Mason to be Oak. Then we can recreate the whole scene.”

“Maybe, but I like this being just an us thing to do.”

“True. I just worry he feels left out sometimes.”

“It’s okay, we can include him when we do family costumes with our kids.”

“When we have kids? You seem to have our future figured out for us, don’t you?”

“I absolutely do. I was thinking you’d probably want to move out to England after you finish at Oxford, which I would definitely follow you to once I finish school. We would have four kids because I know you like the even number and you like the idea of kids always having a playmate. Of course, Sparky would move with us. And the house would definitely need a bay window for you.”

“That’s quite the plan you have. You’d really move to England for me?”

“I’d move to the end of the world for you. You are my forever.”

“You are my forever too.”

But a small part of Y/N can’t help but feel guilty about the idea of making Rafe move. Ever since she overheard Ward talking about the distance, she can’t stop worrying about their future. She knows he always planned to take over his dad’s company after he finished school and she didn’t want to be the reason why he didn’t realize that dream. She knows it’s what he wants to do to make his dad proud. She doesn’t even know what Rafe would do in England with her. It would also mean that they would have four years of being apart before they could be together again and she isn’t sure how she could handle that. Not wanting to think any deeper about it, she snaps out of her spiral and leads him downstairs to get ready for the party. 

————

Lacey and Mason arrive earlier to help set up for the party; the former with booze in hand and the latter with candy. Lacey is dressed as a chef, true to her future career choice and Mason as a handyman. “So what are you guys supposed to be? Pirate prince with pointy ears and a hot badass knife girl,” Lacey asks with a questioning brow, setting the box of beer cans on the counter. Y/N shakes her head at her best friend’s teasing, “Nooo, I’m Jude Duarte and Cameron is Cardan Greenbriar from The Cruel Prince. Silly.” “Ahh, so it’s a couples costume. Cute,” Mason adds, organizing the candy he brought.

————

The party is in full swing now. Music blaring, people screaming, bodies moving and Y/N is getting nervous. She is lost in a sea of people, getting pushed from every side. At a certain point, she couldn’t keep up with the crowd and tripped onto the ground. She curls into a ball to protect her head and heart. She begins to cry and feels as though her chest is tightening. Lacey had seen what had happened to her best friend and immediately shoves her way through the crowd to help. “Come on, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” Lacey picks her up and brings her to Rafe’s room. Lacey sits Y/N on the bed, “Tell me five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell and one you can taste.” “The… The…” Y/N is so frazzled she can’t concentrate on the relaxing technique Lacey suggests. 

Rafe finds the girls in his room after searching everywhere for his rose. He starts piecing the pieces together as to what happened when he sees the pair and rushes to her side. “I’m sorry we got separated, I’m here now. Let’s do some butterfly taps and take some deep breaths in and out for me, my rose,” he advises with his hands rubbing the sides of her hips. He helps her place her hands in a cross on her chest. She copies Rafe’s breathing and begins to tap her collarbones, alternating between the left and right. The other two immediately notice her breathing start to slow down and her shoulders aren’t as tensed. He places a kiss on her forehead now that her breathing is finally steady, “There we go. You’ve got this.” He continues to whisper hushed encouragement to her.

Lacey can’t help but feel jealous at the sight in front of her. She used to be able to help Y/N calm down from a panic attack. Definitely not as fast though. However, she can’t help but feel happy that her best friend has found someone who understands how she works so much. She takes this as her opportunity to slip out of the room and go back to check on the partiers for Rafe, making a mental note to check on Y/N later.

 Oppositely, Rafe is feeling more confident in himself. He thought back to what his father said about knowing sooner rather than later that he couldn’t reassure her. This proves Ward is wrong. Rafe was able to assess the situation without being told what happened and help Y/N through it. He remembered what Y/N said about her panic attacks and jumped into action. He figures the party and getting lost in the crowd are probably the reason for her panic attack. “Wanna ditch the party and see if the pharmacy is already serving discounted chocolate and candies? We can head to the beach and eat it there while watching the waves,” he offers as soon as her breathing has steadied and she moves her hands into his. 

“But what about your party? You and Mason have to stop shutting down your parties before even ten just for me. You’ll both start having a bad reputation.”

“I couldn’t care less about what people think as long as the people I love are safe and healthy. But I was thinking of just letting Mason watch over everything.” 

“I would love to go get candy, but maybe we can go later. I think it would be more fun to go trick or treating. I mean we are in costume.”

Rafe chuckles at her childishness, “Really?! I mean, I don’t object to the idea, but you really think people will give us candy?” 

“Yeah! Not to brag, but everyone on this island loves me.” 

“That’s very true. Come on, let’s go get some clean pillowcases.”

Rafe secures two pillowcases for the pair and sends a quick text to Mason to keep an eye on things for him. Mason replies back quickly saying that he will and asks if Y/N wanted him to come check on her. Rafe answers by telling him she has now calmed down and wishes to go trick or treating. Y/N is excited about going out, but she isn’t sure how to feel entirely about it. She definitely noticed how Rafe would shut down his parties early and forgo going to other parties ever since they started dating. The girl would insist on him going without her or offer to go for an hour or two; however, he would always resist her pleas. She doesn’t want to change his personality, even though he says it is okay. At this moment though, Y/N could not be more glad that he is seriously okay with the idea of going out to get some candy. 

————

The houses on the Kook side of the Island often give out the best candy and it often becomes a competition between the houses. Halloween is the one time a year in which the Kooks do not care if the Pogues are on their property and most Pogues would dare to approach the rich side. Kooks welcome as many people to their houses to prove they offer the best treat with the number of guests coming at their door. Y/N remembers the excitement that would pass around in elementary school as the students would brag about the candies their parents bought. She and Rafe run up the driveway of a house while holding hands giggling like schoolchildren. They arrive at their first house of the night. After going through the trick-or-treating ritual, Y/N reaches into their bag to see what they got as they walk back to the road. Her eyes shine at the red wrapper in her hands. “What is it?” Rafe questions the girl. 

“It’s a Canadian KitKat! Yes, I love these.”

“What’s so special about a Canadian KitKat? We have these in America.”

“The Canadian one isn’t as sweet and it doesn’t leave that weird aftertaste. The chocolate taste much better. I had some when we went up to Canada for my mom’s book tour last summer. Here, try some.”

She quickly opens the package, breaks off a piece of the chocolate and shoves it into his mouth. Rafe’s eyes widen in surprise and he eats the chocolate bar, “Hmm, this is good. Why don’t ours taste like this?” 

“In Canada, KitKat is owned by Nestle and here, it’s owned by Hershey’s.” 

“I see. Well, next time I go to America, I’m going to pack a suitcase full of these for you.”

She looks at him with a huge smile on her face. The pair go to a few more houses and the next house on the street is quite dark. As they approach the house, a little girl dressed as Barbie is walking beside them. Rafe gives her a small smile and a wave. They make their way to the front door to see a duo of teens standing in front of a candy bowl with a please take one sign on a table. The teenage boys laugh as they take the whole bowl of candy without leaving one, even though they saw the little girl. The boys run past the trio without a care in the world. Little Barbie looks at the candy bowl with sad eyes and before Y/N can even do anything, Rafe is handing over his candy bag to her. Her eyes light up and she yells a thank you, running back to her mother at the end of the driveway. The mother waves her hand in thanks to Rafe’s sweet gesture. 

Y/N looks at her boyfriend in awe, “That was so sweet. But now you have no candy. How about we stop by the pharmacy for discount candy and head to the beach?” Rafe nods at the offer and leads her back to where he parked his car. 

————

She is examining the box of candy in front of her when he pops up behind her, wearing Jason’s mask from Friday the 13th. She jumps, startled at his sudden appearance in the strange mask. She gives him a light hit on his bicep and a frown. “Cameron, You scared me! Don’t do that,” Y/N reprimands her partner. Rafe laughs and wraps his arms around her shoulders, “I’m sorry, my rose. I was only playing. I love you.” He kisses her cheeks in hopes to soothe her anger. She shakes her head at him. “Ugh, I guess I love you too. Come on, let’s head to the beach.” 

They head down to the beach with the bag of candy in hand and a blanket wrapped around both of their shoulders. The duo sets themselves a few feet away from the water. The sound of the waves hitting the sand is the only noise that can be heard on the beach. Y/N rests her head on his shoulder and begins to eat the candy they acquired, Rafe looks down at the girl with a grin on his face. She looks more serene than she did at the party and he loves the way she is watching the waves in wonder. 

His life plan was always to go to UNC, graduate, come back home, and work for his father. It was engraved in his mind in his very first memory of his father. It had been their plan and Rafe never questioned it because he thought it was the best path to pleasing his father. He may have known Y/N for more than one-third of his life, but the plan never changed just from knowing her since he never thought he had a chance with her and he just suppressed his feeling for her. But, now, she is his girlfriend and they have a future together. This makes him question everything he thought he wanted for his future. Now, all that mattered to him is her being in the picture and if that meant going off to England with her then he is going to make damn sure he is by her side every step of the way. 

Taglist: @itsalexwin @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @gillybear17 @terraeluce @f4ll-for-you @ineedtosusoutmyreadinglist

[pushing500]

Ohhh. You haven’t gotten much fanart? Gotta change that. You’re one of my fave Rimworld Adventure Illustrators (to put it in a few words). Inspire me to do a few challenges of my own! Nothing like ‘toxic wasteland orphanage’ (pollution up, accept all children, ‘adopt out’ kids when grown to another outpost) to make the games a bit more exciting. Wombat woulda been accepted graciously!

I've never gotten fanart before that one. I was so excited!

Rimworld Adventure Illustrator... I like that! I'll pop it on my résumé lol. I'm honoured to be considered among your favourites!

That challenge sounds so cool!! Aw, now I wanna play a waster pollution orphanage or something. Maybe I'll jot it down in my list of ideas for the colony after Mechi's... which is a long way away yet, but still. Never hurts to be prepared!

I absolutely wouldn't object to getting more fanart, but don't feel obliged to do anything. I'm more than happy just reading nice comments and/or seeing likes on my posts! I have a lot of fun drawing/playing RimWorld, and I don't want to ask for anything in return ❤️

[azz4me]

ok long ago in the dark ages few months back, back when I had no one who'll listen to my joongoo rambles, and I was newly in love, I would seek out fanart of him everywhere

I think the first time I saw kitsune joongoo was somewhere on pinterest and I was like "cuteee" But nothing much more but then that adorbs tart acc posted that fucking beautiful kitsune goo and I had DIED

THAT ONE IMAGE GRIPPED MY NECK AND I COULDN'T BREATHE SINCE

I had,,, SOOOOOOOO MANY THOUGHTS. The possiblities. The scenerios. The imagination.KITSUNE GOO!!!!!

So naturally I drew him allot but I also had a very vivid imagination series kinda in my head---

Soooo

~

Not really fic more like idea dumping(Kitsune goo x fem!oc you can say? Except I never decided her name)

~

There's this lady, in traditional attire and she's really nice but unsocial with society and spends most her times studying mythical beings, which makes everyone in town thinks she's a witch.

For that she lives deep somewhere in a forest in her home or what she calls her temple, in the privacy and nature where she studies the supernatural.

Something something happens she stumbles upon something something back to her temple-

She sets up the items she found in her ritual stand and begins reading the things written on the item peace and gasp

Suddenly everything glows and a hot man groans, standing on top of the ritual set up, well not a man… A KITSUNE!!

He's confused, he looks at her like "how am I here?" And she explains she, taken aback but also having done rituals to summon mythical creatures before, explains that she found him through something plot convenience something and he chuckles.

"Wow you talk really formally.. Huh, so I was incased to eternal sleep after…" and before he could reveal more plot he cuts himself off and grins at the lady.

"Your eyes are fixated on my tails, do you want to touch them?" He says and his 9 fluffy tails wag, inching closer to the lady's hand.

The lady being polite first tries decline but she's human she can't resist, TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH- Soft tail pats… Joon goo let's out cute fox noises (BAAAH M DEAD)

he chuckled and held her hand to stop her from totally getting engrossed only in his tail, and she retreats, embarrased, "ah, apologies, it's that I've studied your kind through only tales before, finally having met a kitsune.. I'm just in awe."

The lady explains, goo cuts her off and says "Goo. I have a name, call me goo.." He smiles, perhaps had gotten a bit annoyed by the lady continuously referring to him as a kitsune but he wasn't offended.

more conversation happens, goo acts flirty cause yes, one scene in particular I imagined

"May I study you? I'm very fascinated by your stature..." she asks innocently, but goo being the mischievous fox leans very close and whispers in her ears "You want to know how kitsunes show their love to people that respect them?"

She shivered and pulled back, "ah thatll be too much of an honour!" she exclaims naively,and goo melts cause she's so innocent and sweet

Some more stuff happens (actually its already getting so long so I'm cutting off small small imaginations I had Inbetween, my mind continued with this one story for A MONTH so it has lots of moments-)

Somewhere inbetween goo knows he has to go and take his revenge and get answers for how he was encased, so after staying with the lady in her temple until he regained his normal strength, he decided he'll have to leave.

The lady doesn't want to be left alone again, she has so much to learn about him too, goo feels he doesn't want to part ways either.. He hasn't felt this peace with someone since...forever. He would miss the gentle tail pats and getting his ear scartched too...

"Come with me, lady" He offered softly, smiling. "You have more to learn about the mythical world anyways.. And... I said I'll show you a kitsunes love too right?"

~

Idk why dafuq I felt the need to aesthetify the imagination,, god there's so much I skipped over too but it's so longgggg and so out of character

anyways yeah so basically I love kitsune goo.

~🍞

THAT ART OF TART'S HAD ME SEEING HEAVEN FOR A SECOND. MY JAW DROPPED WHEN I SAW IT!!! IT WAS FUCKING FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!! I HAVE THAT DOWNLOADED ON MY FOLDERS AND IT'S EHEHEHEH- IT'S SO FUCKING PRETTY LIKE NONE WILL UNDERSTAND ME!!! I WOULD KILL TO SEE THAT IRL. THAT'S LIKE ONE OF MY FAV GOO FANARTS AND THE OTHER BEING OF iwasneverthere true to their name, garden1a and del-png klshaegvbkuo like those arts are so fucking goooodddddd AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH makes me tear up evertime i see their goo art, the true rulers of goo fandom

I am so happy i saw this before I went outside and start chasing someone with a bat. This is so cute and adorable💝💝💝💝💝💝💥💥💥

why is kitsune goo not real. It's fucking sad that the earth will never see the true beauty😞😞😞

THE TAILS. THE TAILLSSSSS!!!gv!KUFVSACFYLIGYIFYF I NEED RTO TOUCH RHEM OII WANT TO QGVABBUscuuiqguhieefschiecfhniqfhqefhi;,jb klugbkuoawgefkUIW2GFIUGwfgugefbkudsgbvukgskdgu kzxb vhzvczhch ugca ug caugc uagc scg asogcacgaus couag df ugcui avgsfoiugfgqwqbkl hi oq 3yt 021yr hfe tc avc v c8agu ogo hchcoys

[mobagehelllocal]

A/N: because I thought if would be funny and I’m still thinking about it. I did every single NRC character... except Ortho!

"twst cast reacts to their s/o and their 100 cm nesoberi of the twst character.” 

Riddle would stare in absolute disbelief as you happily presented your one-hundred-centimetre nesoberi of him to… well, him. “What do you mean I’m cute—!” He’ll attempt to protest, but he’s so caught off guard that the only thing he can really do is flush completely red and maybe stomp off. He’ll get pouty when you only hug the stuff toy in bed afterwards, but he won’t tell you to get rid of it. (Even if he secretly does want you to do so).

Ace would be all smirk and absolute arrogance. “Oh, you like me so much you got a stuff toy version of me?” He’ll watch as you carry it around in your embrace and he’ll tease you about how tightly you’re holding onto him too. He might even brag or talk about how cute you are to his friends… That all changes when he realizes you’re neglecting him in favour of the stuff toy. He’ll start getting jealous and might try to rip it out of your hands so that the real Ace could take its place.

Deuce’s first reaction is to separate you from the toy because he thinks its some weird prank from Ace or something. Then he’ll just be confused, “Wait—you bought a stuff toy version of me?” He’ll blush at how much you cuddle it—and he’s the type of person who will walk out while you cuddle ‘him’ because he feels like he’s intruding. He won’t tell you to get rid of it, but he does end up eyeing it weirdly.

Trey would be surprised—and probably really confused about it too. He doesn’t really react wildly to it, he might even treat it as some sort of pet? He’ll pat it on the head and… sometimes he’ll just squish its face. You will notice… that weird stuff happens though. Whenever Trey is over you’ll come into your bedroom and the stuff toy is deliberately positioned weirdly. One time, he pulled you in for heated kiss and from the corner of your eye—is the stuff toy facing the corner of the room? Upside down? “I didn’t do it.” Trey claimed but a mischievous spark in his eyes says otherwise.

Cater squeals. He thinks it’s absolutely cute and hang on—“Babe, do you have more merch of me? Can you bring it out? Quick! I want a photo~! #Mydarlinglovesme #Thisisthecutest #Catermerch.” He’s not exactly surprised that merchandise of him exists, however he is incredibly honoured that you would buy it. He’s not going to hate it too much and he’ll find it funny how he’s sharing you with another clone of his… As long as you remember who you’re dating first amongst them all of course!

Leona’s first reaction to it is to let out a hiss. There’s another cat invading his territory and he is far from happy. His first reaction is to grab it and destroy it with his Unique Magic. No, he’s not going to listen to you—he doesn’t care how much you might’ve spent on it. He’s getting rid of it right now. If it somehow survives longer than a day, every time he sees it in your hands—he’s just going to bristle like a possessive cat before—“That’s it. Hand it over right now, I’m going to dust that smug face—"

Jack… doesn’t really know how to react to it. He just crosses his arms and stares at it rather oddly. “So… you bought that…?” His tail is wagging just the littlest bits though, so you know that even if he’s not showing it—he actually is a little… thrilled that you wanted a stuff toy version of him. For some reason he starts treating it like it’s a member of his pact. Sometimes you’ll catch him talking to it and telling it to watch over you, “Take care of them, okay? They’re precious… to both of us.”

Ruggie just squints and he has a very confused, maybe even disturbed expression on his face. It’s a “I’m not judging you and your questionable use of money at all” expression. Other than that, I can see him just not really acknowledging it’s existence—maybe just patting it on the head sometimes. “Shishishi… What a waste of money.” he’ll say out loud even if there’s quite an indescribable tenderness on his face too.

Azul would be a straight up mix of embarrassment, pride, and horror. Embarrassment because he can’t believe you bought a stuff toy of him and you’re carrying it around, doting on it so much (“I need my octopus pot”). Pride exactly for the same reason too—he can’t believe he’s so lucky to have a lover who would so flamboyantly display their love for him like this… Though maybe tone it down a bit, please? Too much is embarrassing. And finally, he feels horror because, “YOU SPENT HOW MUCH MADOL ON THIS THING?”  

Jade starts off incredibly flabbergasted. He might stare, just completely dumbfounded for a bit as you parade the stuff toy around. Afterwards, I can see him responding with amusement over how much you dote on the stuff toy. He might just tease you over it too.  However, if it takes up too much of your attention, he becomes quite vengeful. One day you’ll come back to your room and see the stuff toy gone while Jade is standing there dusting his hands, “My, have you returned? Come my flower, your attention has been stolen away from me for too long… fufufu.”

Floyd just wants to get rid of it. He stares at it in stunned silence—it may be the quietest you’ve ever actually seen him. He’ll point at it accusingly, meet your gaze and just whisper a soft “Imposter.” Floyd then begins to have some sort of weird rivalry with the stuff toy—glaring at it, growling—he might even bite it as he rips is out of your arms. He won’t tell you to get rid of it, but it’s obvious that he wants to get rid of it. If he happens to want to cuddle with you and it’s in your arms? He’ll just grab the toy and toss it over his shoulder, uncaring of where it might land. “I’m not sharing you with anyone! Or anything!”

Kalim is thrilled? He’s just, “This is so cute! Wait, I should have one commissioned of you too so we can carry it around together! Hahah, should we get one made for Jamil as well?” (Jamil voice: “No. Don’t you dare—Oi! Kalim!”) Either way, Kalim will probably find a way to get a one-hundred-centimetre nesoberi of you as well. He’ll insist on the two of you going out on double dates with the huge stuff toys too. “It will be a lot of fun! Really!”

Jamil takes one long look at it before he sighs very deeply and shoots you a look. It’s a look of “why would you do this to me”, “please don’t show Kalim” and also a “I’m going to turn around and when I turn back around that better not be there and we can both pretend this didn’t happen.”  He’s not going to be the most outwardly flattered. He’ll just instantly be exhausted seeing it exist. He won’t actively tell you to get rid of it but he’ll pretend he never saw it. (Okay so maybe he can’t help a tiny smirk that curls up his lips as he sees you lovingly dote on… well… him.)

In Vil’s case, the nesoberi was a limited item that he was expected to hand out to the lucky lottery winner. He’s not so much stunned that the stuff toy exists, what really got him is when you merrily skipped onto the stage to claim it. There’s something like fond exasperation on his face and he’ll bend down to ask, “You know darling, I could’ve gotten one made for you if you wanted it so much.” At your dismissal and adamant note that “Of course I was going to win you fairly this time too!” Vil’s lips curled up into an arrogant smile. There was no winning against you. 

Epel‘s first instinct is to actually punch the stuff toy and if you protest—“What? It has a really punch-able face!” He’ll end up quite grumpy as he sees you give it so much attention. He doesn’t quite understand the point and his irritation somehow distracts him from the embarrassment of seeing you happily cuddle with the… thing. He also might not register that his irritation is jealousy at you giving your attention to something else too. He’ll have glaring matches with the thing muttering, “it’s not that cute.”

Rook… well, jokes on you. You went to try to get a reaction out of him by presenting him a stuff toy only to walk in on him organizing his own collection of one-hundred-centimetre nesoberis. The pride of his collection being one he commissioned of you (the rest of his collection you ask? Why there’s a Vil, a Neige… and is that a Leona one—?) Something he won’t tell you however, is that he does feel the slightest bit thrown off that you managed to get a stuff toy version of him… “You truly are a thrill to be with, surprising me like this—Mon Monarque.”

Idia blushes furiously at the sight of the nesoberi. Out of everyone else, he understands what you mean by showing him this. That he’s your favourite person—and though it embarrasses him, he also feels honoured by the fact you had a nesoberi of him commissioned. He’ll shyly ask, “So… would it be okay if I get merch of you too?” Once he has permission, he’s enthusiastically commissioning his favourite artists for a nesoberi of you. Sooner or later his room would be filled with figurines of you two and fanart as well!

Malleus will start out thinking it’s really amusing… and how adorable for his bright light to have picked up a toy resembling him and cuddling with it as well. He might end up cooing quite a bit as he watches you hug it. However, there will be a point where Malleus will start getting lonely. He’ll feel as if you’re forgetting to invite him out because you had the stuff toy to hang out with instead. He might sulk and watch from quite a distance. When you invite him out, he might pettily bring up the stuff toy instead. “Ah, my bright light… to think you can make me feel like a child again…”

You surprise Lilia for quite a few minutes before he tosses his head back and laughs. He’s absolutely amused by the fact that you have managed to purchase a nesoberi of him. He’ll probably borrow it for a bit, twisting and turning it—remarking about how the craftsmanship was excellent. Then he’ll ask you if he can borrow it longer so he can play pranks on the whole Diasomnia. He’ll pretend to have been turned into a stuff toy, “Come now love, it will be fun to watch them all panic~!”

Silver just blinks very slowly as he stared at the stuff toy then you and back… He just shrugs it off and proceeds to flop down right on top of it. He’ll note that hey, it’s pretty soft before conking out. Eventually he grows to be fond of it as a pillow and he’ll often use it as a pillow if you’re too busy doing something else. At the end, it will be you who’d get all pouty when you realize he doesn’t cuddle as much with you because he can do it with the stuff toy. One time he’ll go over your place and blink in surprise when you’ve hidden it away. He’ll laugh softly before he’ll tug you gently onto the bed for a cuddle, “Silly, of course you’re still my favourite one to cuddle.”

Sebek’s mouth falls open in shock as he catches sight of the stuff toy. He opens and closes his mouth several times, his face slowly turning complete red before he promptly loses it—“Why do you have a stuff toy of me!?” Sebek literally has no idea how to deal with this. His feelings are somewhere in between complete embarrassment and exasperation. He will refuse to acknowledge it’s existence, he’ll pretend it never happened and he never saw it. It really is fun for you though, because whenever you bring it out the boy’s immediately blushing and stuttering.

I feel like Dire would just stand, stunned for a bit as he stared at the stuff toy. With the mask in the way, you won’t be able to truly tell how he feels—but once it sinks in that yes you are in fact, clutching a stuff toy version of him—he’ll recoil in surprise. He’s someone who’ll exaggerate his surprised by hopping backwards, raising his hands in the air as he peers at you with wide yellow eyes. “E-eh!? Why do you have a stuff toy of me?” I think he’ll just be amused (and maybe slightly petty if it steals your attention too much).

Divus would be surprised then flattered. His smirk is wide as he draws closer to you—eyes meeting your own before he bent down to touch the toy. He’ll probably look at it for a bit, noting that it’s captured him well. “How cute. It seems I don’t really need to get you a toy myself, do I, pet?” He won’t be too irritated seeing it take up your attention. He’s someone who won’t be threatened because he knows exactly how to get your attention. He’ll do it when he thinks you deserve a little punishment for ignoring him.

“IN-STOCK NOW~!” Sam pointed dramatically at the one-hundred-centimetre nesoberi of himself with a wide easy going and incredibly smug grin. You probably didn’t think it was possible for his smile to get even more smug as you pulled out the cash to actually purchase the item. I don’t really think he’ll mind much over seeing you cuddle it almost pettily after he practically scammed you. If anything, I think he’d think it’s pretty cute you think you can get back at him by only paying attention to the nesoberi!Sam.

Mozus would just have a very exhausted, deadpanned expression as he studies the huge stuff toy on the bed. Lucius on the other hand, is incredibly thrilled and will pounce the new toy giddily. Eventually you and Lucius might end up having a sort of cute rivalry over it—where you just want your cuddle toy and Lucius just wants his bed. Mozus is slightly weirded out by how much enjoyment Lucius seems to have lying down on this stuff toy version of him. “Don’t even say a thing my dear, I fear I don’t want to know.”

Ashton’s immediate reaction to this new huge thing on your bed is “how heavy is it?” and “can I use it as a weight?” I don’t think they’re as heavy as he wants them to be though, so he’ll be disappointed for a bit. He’ll then brighten up when he realizes that it’s actually a stuff toy version of him and he’ll happily yell, “You got a stuff toy of me? How cute!” He’ll just straight up think it’s adorable that you got one and likely chance, he’ll try to get one of you too to match.

[frankensteindotpdf]

Jon’s TGWDLM Livestream

I offered to write out all of Jon’s answers in his q&a (not verbatim, just a summary but also it got a little long, sorry for that) so here it is! sorry if there’s typos, i wrote this at 2am lmao i put most of the qs in bold

it was hard not to kiss jeff in WDYWP, especially because his face was so close (great way to start it off)

“Sing the beginning of Moana wasnt improvised��

He loves Not Your Seed and Show Stopping Number

His favourite piece of fanart is one of the first ones with red paul blue paul (in let it out) and he had it as his homescreen for a while

he got into starkid by doing Power Prom with jeff and lauren, (as well as another show with jeff and another with quite a few of the starkids) and then they asked him if he was interested in auditioning and he sent in a video audition and tah dahhh

if he could play any other character from tgwdlm it’d be hidgens (though he says part of the reason he loves hidgens so much is because robert did such a good job fleshing him out)

“how close are you and jeff” “uhh who’s jeff?”

paul’s job was originally gonna be a movie critic (buzzfeed-esque) (and at one point in WDYWP they brought up how he was reviewing a Hamilton movie musical-which was, incidentally, his fav deleted bit) but it ended up being at a customer service center “but most of the time he fixes printers and plays on the internet”

jaime helped out with some of the lyrics to CORC/COPC because she’s a barista

his fav memory with the cast was before shows and one time when they hung out after the show at a diner

his fav line that almost made him break every time was “Latte hottay...my wife...yknow like borat, dude” (it made him break a couple of times but he was always walking off stage like right as he said it)

he really liked the line “we’ll make a jammin’ cup of java, mocha latte with the froth for you, jack, frappuccino!” he just thought the wordplay was real good

fav joke was probs the moana bit (he broke a couple of times there too)

fav song was Show Stopping Number (and he said the way the songs flow when you’re listening to it on the album is so good)

he never found it boring to go to rehearsals because James and Lauren are such good choreographers and all the actors are so good at singing and dancing he got to watch them perform all the time and he really enjoyed it (how pure)

his reaction to hearing the show’s plot was “hell yeah, this is gonna be so much fun”

when he first heard let it out he was stoked because in high school he had tried performing Confrontation from Jekyll and Hyde with just a boom box so no one could actually hear the music and it didnt go well so he felt like that song was letting him redeem himself

his fav moment from the show’s run was the first show because they were so stressed because it was the first time they went all the way through the show with tech and music and it went really well “It was magical. we were all,like, on this adrenaline endorphin high and, uh, it was awesome.”

fav character from any starkid show is either nick playing robin or nick playing obi wan from Ani (he’s seen the scene where obi wan walks into the bar “probably a million times” because he loves the timing and the dry humour) but also nick gage as sultan from Twisted

fav moment to watch in the show was the part after Not Your Seed when the aliens were trying to talk at the same time

“would i have wanted to sing more? no, because i got to sing these two awesome songs” Let It Out was really fun to do but also daunting, and in Inevitable he got to sing parts of the other songs

no real mishaps with the blood capsules, just getting fake blood all over his face and shirt (but that was fine cuz it made him look like more of a badass in the next scene, as long as he remembered not to wipe it off)

fav line that he said? “ok”

“will i ever make my own version of Love Never Dies?” he wants to be in a musical about death (more of a “silly fun romcom”) and thinks that concept has so much potential

he’s inspired by The Adventure Zone and that’s where he got the name Travis from (idk what he’s talking about being inspired about, he never really says)

if paul drank the coffee, he would have been infected

there were no pranks, but

before one of the last shows he was rehearsing outside and he “stepped in human poop” like 20 minutes before he had to go on (he threw out the shoes ofc and luckily a member of the band had extra shoes that fit)

general advice? “number 1 surround yourself with people who love and support you and that you trust and you like to have a lot of fun with 2 if you can develop a skill that you l can support yourself when you’re not working, develop that skill, its really important just so you can put food on the table and also you’ll hear a ton of advice and there are a lot of training programs about how to act and how to sing but find whatever works for you...understand the character and do whatever you can to remove tension” (that was a lot lmao but i thought it was good advice)

there were lots of little improvised bits in the show but his fav was trying to figure out what he and emma were gonna say when they were going through the alleys

before every show they’d put their arms around each other and make a one word story (i can explain the game if you dont know what it is)

paul still wants a carpet

the starkid actor he’d want to play paul (if it wasnt him) would be brosenthal or brolden

fav food is “fuh”?  im sorry im a dummy ive heard of it but i cant spell it but yeah he likes it cuz it hydrates you and it’s delicious

he doesnt know the “alexa play despacito” meme

he’d love to speak mandarin (and do a film in china, he’s never been)

paul cant hear the background music when the aliens sing

his fictional band would be named either Territorial Fashionistas, The Light Quixotic, or Immortal Bond

fav fan moment was with a fan who had just had a really bad breakup which reminded of himself and how being true to yourself is more important than staying with your partner

dark mode looks cooler on his phone so he likes it best

in songs where he got to watch others singing and dancing, he was smiling on the inside and the fact that he couldnt sing or dance for most of the musical was made up for by the songs he did get to 

MY QUESTION!! (yes, i screamed) “Why did Paul offer bill and mr.davidson a ‘nice caramel frappe, nothing better’ when he only ever ordered black coffee?” he’s gotten them for Bill before cuz it’s his favourite, and he was just saying anything to try to get away from mr.davidson

he knows the lyrics to Moana because he secretly loves musicals after having watched so many with Alice growing up, but he wont even admit it to himself “he says he likes hamilton way more than mamma mia, so, yknow. he has an opinion”

he hopes it’ll come to chicago but he doesnt know if it will

his fav musical is a tie between Chess and Little Shop of Horrors

the backstage was really nice

he was honoured to have lauren spit on him

he was, of course, sad when it was over (but he’s stoked to move to LA)

finally, in the ending he revealed what his decision was for the end with paul, but i think it’s better expressed through a gif so check out: https://showstoppinnumber.tumblr.com/post/182153650669/theguywhodidnotlikemusicals

that was so long haha sorryyy i didnt wanna leave out anything. it was fun! hope you enjoy it, @realshowstopper!! if y’all have any qs hmu

[rayraywrites]

Title: Love Letters

Characters: Sawamura Eijun, Miyuki Kazuya

Relationship: Miyuki Kazuya x Sawamura Eijun

Rating: General Audiences

Total Word Count: 1383

AO3

Gift for @akocchi on twitter

Summary: “It is incredible how essential to me you have become.” || Trieste, 1926; From Vita Sackville-West to Virginia Woolf.

Inspired by: fanart & letters between Vita & Virginia

“...Damn you, spoilt creature; I shan’t make you love me any the more by giving myself away like this—But oh my dear, I can’t be clever and stand-offish with you: I love you too much for that. Too truly. You have no idea how stand-offish I can be with people I don’t love. I have brought it to a fine art. But you have broken down my defences. And I don’t really resent it …

Please forgive me for writing such a miserable letter.

V.”

----

Tears built up in his eyes as they tracked each loving word of the letters lying in front of him. The brushstrokes of each alphabet left his heart aching. The way the women loved each other, in secret and in the open. He felt it deep inside his soul as his fingers brushed tears away from his eyes, and the way his hands trembled as they carefully tucked away the letters back inside the book. They were only photocopies, images of the original letters sent by two beautiful creatures to each other, pining alone in their mutual love, but yet he wanted to honour them – he was careful. 

He was sitting inside his room, lounging comfortably on the floor with all his books and notes spread around him. But rather than focus on the analysis of Woolf’s Orlando he needed to complete, he found himself whimpering over letters. 

When he closed his eyes, he could see the words etched on his eyelids. The one line that had brought him to tears initially reverberating in his mind as if it explained everything about him. And perhaps it did. Vita’s agonizing words painted a picture of his pain, even when there was no reason for his emotions, no comparison to the heartbreak she went through, she and Virginia. 

“It is incredible how essential to me you have become.” 

As he packed up his things, giving up on writing his analysis that night, his hands brushed the book once more. Surreptitiously glancing around, as if he didn’t know he’d been alone for a few hours, he thought that maybe he could put down his feelings the same way she had. Pulling out a blank sheet of paper, the other hand reaching for his wayward pen, he tried to compose a letter that would depict his emotions in the same way they did.

“Sometimes, when it’s late at night and the moon is shining bright in the dark sky amongst the twinkling stars I sit outside on the field. On the mound, and I stare at home plate as if I can conjure you up, crouching behind the plate with your mitt at the inside. I can imagine your eyes gleaming behind your mask, and the smirk on your face as you await my pitch.” 

He paused his writing, feeling the blush that bloomed across his cheeks begin to spread down his neck and up his ears. He could feel the heat from his face and had to stop writing simply to try and fan his face down. With an embarrassed giggle, that he tried to suppress but ultimately failed, he focussed back on the letter. 

“But though we both may love baseball, the thing I like more, the moment that I hold deep inside my heart is one you don’t remember, the moment that felt throwaway to you. It was after a practice game, I hadn’t done well – the batters getting inside my head faster than you could combat them. I had received the lecture from you, from Nabe-senpai and from Boss. And yet, that night, when I had been huddled into my blanket, ready for a night of self-pity before I pushed past this game the next morning, there you stood outside my door. Your pillow in one hand, an anime you knew I loved, and wearing my favourite shirt of yours. You were there because you knew I was upset, but you didn’t bring the game up, instead letting me cuddle with you and take solace in your presence.”

He didn’t write down the full story though, keeping the ending of that night to himself. They had fallen asleep, his head resting on Miyuki’s chest, and arms wrapped around each other. He had closed his eyes second, content to watch as Miyuki’s eyelashes fluttered close, or how without his glasses he looked younger and happier. At some point in the night he had woken up, unsure why his sleep had been disturbed, or even where he was at that exact moment. But then his sleepy eyes had been attracted to the face beside his own, and as his brain woke up slowly, he registered the pleasant buzz of noise as Miyuki actually speaking softly.

He had been sleeptalking, but unlike the nonsense Eijun sometimes spewed, this was all encouragement and affection. What Captain Miyuki couldn’t say, lest he be called biased, his subconscious managed to release.

“You’re going to be an amazing Ace Eijun. Your pitching is getting cleaner and more controlled every day. I believe in you.” 

Eijun had teared up that night, a soft grin on his lips as he watched Miyuki slowly slide back into a deep sleep. He hadn’t realized that he’d been needing validation till he’d received it. The next morning when Miyuki had asked why his shirt had gotten wet, Eijun had blushed and looked away, blustering until the conversation had been dropped.

That memory was just for him.

He continued to write the letter, laughing and smiling to himself as he tried to convey all the affection he felt for Miyuki. He had gotten so distracted by writing, that he hadn’t noticed when the door to his room had opened, nor when a recognizable pair of feet came to stand in front of him. It was only when a chuckle reached his ears that he looked up. Seeing the familiar smirk and eyes hidden behind the glare of glasses he smiled widely in greeting, before realizing what he had been doing.

Blushing brightly, Eijun scrambled to put the letter away before Miyuki caught onto what he had been doing. But before he could hide it fully, Miyuki crouched down, and began helping him, assuming he had intended to pack up altogether. That meant it was easy for Miyuki to see the words on the paper, and to see the slightly red-eyed look of nervousness that was dancing across Eijun’s face. To his dismay, Miyuki managed to pry the letter from his hands with a teasing laugh. 

But as he began to read it, Eijun could see when the laugh disappeared and the blush began to grow. When Miyuki lowered the letter, Eijun tried to hide his face behind his hands, not wanting to see the affect his words had had on Miyuki, as they had had on him. But he wasn’t able to, Miyuki grabbed onto his hand, forcing Eijun to stop and glance at him. The blush on his own face had matched Miyuki’s, both of them a bright red colour, but there was a brilliant smile on Miyuki’s lips, one that Eijun had never seen.

Unbeknownst to him, Miyuki had only ever shown that smile to two people in his life, one to whom he couldn’t any longer, and the other, Eijun.

With a quiet whine, Eijun pushed his face into Miyuki’s shoulder, face steaming at the thought that he’d brought a smile like that onto Miyuki’s face. He looped one arm through Miyuki’s, and just buried his face in the soft fabric of Miyuki’s shirt, and tried to muffle the shout that was bludgeoning its way up his throat. His face probably would have cooled down soon enough, and maybe he would have been able to have a meaningful conversation with Miyuki, but then he heard Miyuki’s soft response which was enough to send him spiraling again and pressing his face into Miyuki with an even louder whine than before.

“If you think you’re the only one who feels this way, then you’re a bigger baka then I thought you were.”

----

“....Somehow its dull and damp. I have been dull; I have missed you. I do miss you. I shall miss you. And if you don’t believe it, you’re a longeared owl and ass.

Virginia.”

[jenniboo311]

Igxjtsjtsjgxkg thank you so much, I've never gotten fanart before! This is so good and I love it!! Peter's concerned expression, May's sparkly shoes and Iron Man bandage! I'm cracking up at the mob of people in the background. God I'm glad I'm not famous.

I'm in love! Your art is incredible Joy, and I'm thankful and honoured you chose my fic for your inspiration. Ilysm 💜

I guess I've been on a bit of a drawing kick recently. So, I Finally created a piece of fanart I've been thinking about for a while! Jenniboo311 has a really great identity reveal series called 'Just a Tired Dad' and it includes some super cute dad!peter. This drawing is a scene from the second part, Mobbed.

"Your mother's gonna kill me," the vigilante mutters to his daughter, before raising his wrist and letting a web fly from the shooters he always keeps attached. The crowd cheers at getting to see the Web Slinger in action, but immediately realizes it's taking away their quarry and begins to shout angrily, some breaking into disappointed sobs as he quickly zips out of their midst and swings out of sight one handed. His baseball cap quickly loses its battle with the wind, however, and it flutters to the street below, a surge of people interrupting traffic as they fight over who gets to keep it. - Mobbed by Jenniboo311

Fanfiction by Jenniboo311 ( @jenniboo311 )

Artwork by happyaspie

Click For Better Quality

[naturepointstheway]

Actually can you just answer all of those questions?

Sure thing! :D I removed the ones I already answered before, so here goes!

1.“Poor unfortunate souls!” (Your top three angsty fanfics you wrote in 2017 you’re personally proud of.)

Normal to Weep -- just the idea of Lumiere comforting Prince Adam after his mother’s death and the mourning period is over, assuring him he’s completely human in still grieving even after thirty days.

Such Love and Hope Endure -- Again, with Lumiere and young Prince Adam. I would say this is more bittersweet, as there is a little bit of a “hope spot” in there, but definitely leans more on the bitter side of bittersweet.

Forever Can Spare a Minute -- how can writing from Adam’s mother’s point of view when she’s dying be anything but angsty/sad? Judging by the amount of flailing in the notes, this definitely broke a couple of hearts at least.

2. “And I’m almost there. Almost there!” (Any WIPs you started in 2017 that you hope to finish in 2018?)

Well, I do have one story that is openly in progress on AO3, and technically because I started it in a word doc, my Batb/A Christmas Carol one would count too. But I hope to finish that in 2017 while it’s still Christmas. All of December is Christmas.

3. “Come on and kiss the girl!” (Which of your personal OTPs did you write about the most this year?)

Oooh that’s easily gotta be Belle/Adam! I would say Plumette/Lumiere is a fair runner-up here too. 

4. “You’ll learn things you never knew you never knew.” (What is one thing you had to research for a fanfic [e.g. a medical condition, historical period…] you found interesting?)

Honestly, I can never really remember, probably because with one-shots I mostly can avoid that a little. 

5. “When you wish upon a star..” (Any fanfics you yet have to write but really want to?)

Oh god, there’s so many possibilities. I can’t really think of any in particular other than those already mentioned.

6. “Lavender blue, dilly, dilly…” (Your top three favourite pure, unadulterated fluff fanfics you wrote in 2017.)

Pouf Pouf -- Chip asking the prince to help him name a new kitten is cute, but KITTENS. 

Scarce to be Counted -- Wee Prince Adam attempting to count all the stars in the sky and rallying Plumette and Lumiere’s help in this? Too adorbs.

It Has Been So Long Since I Performed -- Adam and Chip convincing Lumiere to recreate Be Our Guest, essentially.

7. “Kings don’t need advice from little hornbills for a start!” (Any OCs you created that took a life of their own in 2017?)

No OCs for this year it appears. I guess I’m just not much for writing OCs in fanfics.

8. “I’ve started talking to the pictures on the walls!” (Did you get any awesome fanart of your fanfics in 2017? What were they for?)

No sadly, I didn’t. :( It would be an honour if someone did though!

9. “I wanna know about these strangers like me!” (Any fellow fans/fanfic-writers you became good buddies with and became each other’s beta-readers or discussion partners on future stories?)

Oh gosh, I met so many amazing people in this BatB fandom this year--including @lumiereswig who gives the best pep talks when one needs it, @batbobsession (whom I think was one of the first I followed in the BatB fandom this year), @tinydooms who is such a delightful and honest young lady, @sweetfayetanner who completely convinced me how amazing Chapeau/Adam’s mother is as a couple (and I admit, I was at first really shy of commenting much on her fics), and so many others, especially the one awesome person who comments on everything I post on AO3. 

11. “You can’t step in the same river twice. The water’s always changing, always flowing…” (What has improved most about your writing throughout 2017?) 

I have no idea--it’s really hard to be objective about one’s writing! I like to think that my characters have gotten a bit better as I got to know them (which is also why I tend to prefer BatB fics I wrote in more recent months (say the last three-ish months) to ones I wrote in June or July.

13. “Tale as old as time…” (What has been your favourite romance fic you’ve written this year?)

Oooh, I don’t write many primarily romantic fics, and in the absence of any I wrote that really stands out to me, I’m gonna go with the one I wrote with Tarzan/Jane from Disney’s Tarzan

Hot Cocoa

15. “The bare necessities, the bare necessities of life!” (Any fics you wrote this year that you got so excited about and so into that you forgot humans kinda need food and drink on a regular basis?)

I would say Inanimate (what do you mean 2am is a bad time to go to bed when you got class at 9am?) and no doubt there are others, but have forgotten since.

17. “Let it go, let it go…” (Any fandoms you were once really into that you slowly began writing fewer fics than usual for during this year?)

I’d definitely say Frozen even though I did write a few this year for that fandom, but definitely not as many as in 2016 or earlier.

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

I should say this now so it'll be less of a surprise should it happen in the future, but I'm considering uninstalling SIF. Way too many events with way too many promo SSRs are dropping all the time with virtually no break inbetween and I've literally not had my original team comp for months because of all the girls I have to bond all the time and also my member storage is running thin because I keep getting new girls before I can max level the other ones. If that wasn't enough I'm getting tired of reading the stories because of how vapid and same-y they are, with even the Riko ones that I mostly enjoy because she's best girl being bogged down with "I want to suck your dick, player-san" all the time. And beyond that, there's no use sugarcoating this, but my scouting luck wore out months ago, and even ignoring that I'm not getting any of the Riko cards I'm specifically scouting for, I'm not even getting any URs either, and barely any SSRs. Two Honour Scouting boxes at once makes aiming for new Rikos harder as well. I've literally never gotten anything above an SR on any of the limited boxes they're constantly dropping, and even all these free scout 11 tickets for the 5th anniversary have mostly been single SR pulls or dominated by SR dupes when they're not. I still enjoy the process of actually playing the songs but more and more I'm letting my LP max by accident and then just, not emptying it. I'm not missing any days or anything but I don't feel much incentive to play the game anymore, really. I think I'll wait until the 5th anniversary lottery is over and depending on the results of that, I might make a decision. Arguably salty of me to use that to influence my decision, and the scouting luck with Riko cards is also perhaps a source of salt, but you know what I'll take salt here, whatever.

I can only hope SIF All Stars is good - since I don't care for seiyuu stuff SIF is the best way for me to actively involve myself in the Love Live franchise other than rewatches (it's been over a year since I last did that though) and looking at fanart on Reddit. I mean I guess there's also the movie which loads of people have seen now because camrips but I care about quality too much to check those out. PDP will probably get an anime too, to be realistic. I don't know, I don't want to feel like I'm abandoning Love Live because it's a franchise I really do love, even if I don't love everything about it.

[nickireadstfc]

The Foxhole Court, Chapter 11 – Orange Sportsball Gets The Fuck Real

In which the Foxes play their first match of the season, I have questions about American college sports, my Percy Jackson obsession has a brief cameo, and I’m sadly less excited about Actual Sportsball Games than I should be.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Foxhole Court.

           Thursday’s excitement had nothing on Friday’s. The whole school got decked out overnight with vibrant orange and white streamers. Ribbons and banners hung off every sidewalk lamp. Live student bands took over the amphitheater for short concerts and the student newspaper released that morning gave details for the afternoon parade.

Is that, like…………. Normal behavior on game days?? Actual American high school/college students, please confirm. Is this an actual thing???

I mean, I know y’all are big on sports and school spirit, but this big??

Please understand my confusion: At my school, no one fucking gave a shit about the sports teams. I didn’t even know when anyone had games/competitions unless we got told afterwards who won what brilliant award now, and even then like 5% of us cared. And I can’t speak for my uni yet, but I’m pretty sure it’s the same there as well. Do German unis even have sports teams?

I always liked to make fun of High School Musical 3 for having those giant ass banners displaying the athletes hanging in the halls. I am now starting to realize that might be perfectly normal for American schools.

What the fuck.

Also, Neil officially came out now – as a member of the Foxes, that is, of course.

           Neil wanted to cut class and hide at Fox Tower until game time, but athletes weren’t allowed to call out without a legitimate medical excuse. Someone from the athletics committee went around all day counting heads through classroom windows, and Wymack would be the first to hear Neil was absent.

They seriously stalk their students all day in fear they might be skipping class? And these students are in college, they are grown adults, not 14-year-olds. Again, is this a thing, what the fuck??

Then again, we’re talking about the country who invented hall passes. This is probably not the craziest thing around.

Fortunately, the Foxes decide to display their first sign of group solidarity in these trying times and guide Neil from class to class. This is a really small detail, but I love it.

I’m imagining Neil as a lil baby duck who obediently follows a big spikey-haired Matt duck, a small white-pastel-y Renee duck or a glamorous blonde Allison duck, wagging behind them in a tiny duck-sized jersey.

Although, when you think about it, they’re all just lil baby ducks following a big Wymack momma duck.

(Someone draw me fanart, I’m BEGGING YOU.)

I’m getting off track. Back to the plot.

           Andrew hadn’t lied to Neil back in May. In almost every article that talked of Neil’s pathetic experience Kevin was quoted as having high hopes for him. Kevin really had said that Neil would one day be Court.

Because this is the second time this has come up: What exactly does “being Court” mean?? Like, being Captain? Being MVP? Also, is this a regular sports expression or is is Exy-exclusive? Exyclusive?? Help.

A small silver lining of future hilariousness appears on the horizon: An Exy kickoff banquet is going to happen sometime in the next few chapter, and I am HYPED. This chaotic mess of a team + all their rivals + dates + drinks can only equal a Massive Fun Time™.

Fun for us, not for them, might I add. I am dying to see this.

           “[Renee] hasn’t asked [Andrew] yet, but it’s inevitable. (…) Money’s on the table as to whether or not he says yes. Pot’s getting pretty big, so get your bet in fast.”

           The only thing the Foxes had in common besides Exy and hardship was their strange obsession with betting on the stupidest things. Neil had figured that out only two weeks into practice. A week didn’t go by when there wasn’t money on something or another.

A team after my own heart <3 Can I join? I can never find anyone to bet on dumb things in my own circle of friends.

Will I throw this piece of paper in the bin on my first shot? Will the bus be late? Will Friend A and B hook up tonight? Will I lose my (nonexistent) emotional sanity to this series before the last book is over?

I don’t know about the others, but the last one is 100% happening.

           “There’s something we haven’t told you yet,” Dan said. (…) “So Andrew’s technically legally required to take his medication, right? (…) He struck a bargain of his own with Coach. The only reason he signed with us is because Coach agreed to let him come off his drugs for game nights.”

Is this supposed to come as a big plot twist? Because I kind of saw that coming. 10 bucks says Andrew comes off his meds for all Important Moments.

*insert yet another rant about the negative portrayal of mental health meds as barbaric mind-numbing, mania-inducing ~happy pills~ here*

Anyways, back to game day!! Our beloved foxy nutcases are playing against the Breckenridge Jackals, which is shaping up to be a Fun Time™ as they are apparently the biggest bullies around (second only to the Edgar Allan Murder Mob Clique, of course).

However, when faced with his impending wipe-out on the court, our favourite Sassmaster McSavage reaches new levels of Hell Fuckin Yeah:

           “[Gorilla] will break every bone in your body if you give him the chance.”

           “Don’t worry, though,” Matt said. “He’ll probably be too busy killing Kevin and Seth to notice you.”

           “This is my reassured face,” Neil said, pointing up at his blank expression.

SAVAGE.

I actually laughed so hard at that. This is some Percy Jackson level of sass right there.

Come to think about it, I want the entire AFTG series narrated by Percy Jackson, especially the chapter titles.

“I Am Offered A Foxy Deal”

“My Troubled Past Comes Back To Haunt My Ass”

“I Get Dragged Into Some Gay Shit”

“We Kick Serious Jackal Butt, Sort Of”

Remind me to make a full post of that once I’ve finished the series.

Off topic again. Sorry.

Before we finally begin the actual match (and wow, it’s 1.1k words already), Nicky seems to finally get the mental slaps I’ve been sending him since a few chapters ago:

           Nicky looked at Neil. “Hey,” he said, sounding uncharacteristically hesitant. “We haven’t really had a chance to talk after… Well. I wanted to say sorry, but I kept chickening out. Are we okay?”

           “I don’t know yet,” Neil said.

           Nicky weighed that for a minute, then sighed and said, “Fair enough.”

Deep sigh. Who are we kidding, I can never resist a self-aware comic relief, Nicky, you’re still one of my faves. At least he knows he fucked up.

And now, finally: It’s Orange Sportsball time!!

Time for fast-paced sports action, balls flying, racquets hitting, body-checks left and right, a flurry of energy and emotion… that I simply can’t get behind.

I’m sorry, you guys, but I found myself having to double- and triple-read passages here in order to keep up with who is standing where, who is passing to whom and just generally what exactly is going on. Maybe it has to do with my own lack of interest for any sports involving balls (or actually any sports that isn’t dance, cheer, or anything involving performance), but I’m not really excited about this whole game part, to put it mildly.

Don’t get me wrong: I am loving the emotions attached to it. Solidarity, passion, group dynamics and character development shown on the field, give me all that good shit. I just couldn’t care less about who’s passing to who. Forgive me.

Did someone say passion and group dynamics?

           Neil’d watched his teammates fall apart to in-fighting all summer long, but now he finally saw them as a whole. As much as the Foxes disliked each other at times, they disliked their opponents more. They were still too fractured to be truly great, but they were good enough to give him chills.

This is shaping up to be good, you guys.

I can only imagine the sheer gloriousness in the upcoming books when Kandreil finally get their shit together and play on the field as a beautiful unstoppable three-way killing machine. I WILL DIE.

Twenty minutes into the game, Seth is crushed against a wall by three hundred pounds of pure douchebaggery – and I actually do feel sorry for him, not gonna lie – which means it’s time for the moment we’ve all been waiting for:

           “Going on for Seth Gordon is freshman Neil Josten, number ten, of Millport, Arizona.”

           Neil wondered if casket lids sounded like court doors being shut.

Ah yes, thank you for reminding me, even in the face of impending doom, how incredibly extra our boy Josten is.

           “A national champion and an amateur? South Carolina’s gotten even crazier than usual.”

           “An amateur and a cripple, you mean,” the dealer said.

           Andrew slammed his racquet against the goal, making several athletes jump and drawing more than a few wary looks his way.

This is such a small detail but it’s the /best/. Nobody insults my boyfriends in front of me, fuckface.

Bla bla bla more sports bla bla, I’m putting everything remotely interesting that’s happening in a bullet list because let’s be honest, it’s not fucking much.

Neil scores! Twice! Good boy.

Matt takes a card for the team by punching the fuck out of Gorilla, what a babe.

Also, his mom is a professional boxer? When can we meet her. I’m always a sucker for strong women who could kick my ass.

Gorilla has been hitting Kevin’s hand on purpose all the time, which is not cool, yet not surprising, ain’t no honour in Exy injuries, apparently.

That is it, my dudes.

Writing the next chapter on a coach (yet again) as I’ll be visiting some friends in NRW, so I’ll be coming to you live from my Prime Flixbus Office Space, let’s see how that works out. Till next time, ily all. <3

[mousedetective]

The True Value Of Things

And here is the third fic I managed to write during my mother’s doctor’s appointment, @chitarra10‘s Elemenatry fic. It was inspired by two absolutely stunning watercolor portraits of Joan and Sherlock done by @inkberly that I had asked permission to base a story on ages ago and never got around to writing until today. Joan's is here and Sherlock's is here, and I highly encourage everyone to show them some love because they are beyond gorgeous.

The True Value Of Things - Joan drags Sherlock to a street fair in Tribeca and eventually to a watercolor portrait booth, where Sherlock makes a surprising discovery and Joan learns something new about her friend.

Fandom: Elementary (TV)

Relationship: Sherlock Holmes & Joan Watson

Characters: Sherlock Holmes, Joan Watson, Original Female Character(s)

Additional Tags: Post-Season/Series 01, Male-Female Friendship, Friendship, Street Fair, Art, Watercolors, Sherlock-centric, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Sherlock Being Considerate, Sherlock Holmes Has Manners, Sherlock Makes Deductions, Artists, Past Sherlock Holmes/Jamie Moriarty | Irene Adler, Sentimental Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes & Joan Watson (Elementary) Friendship, Joan is a Good Friend, Irritated Joan, Happy Joan, Stubborn Joan, Sherlock Holmes and Bees, Inspired by Fanart

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“Okay, you have to actually get out of the brownstone every once in a while,” Joan said, looking at Sherlock. “And I mean more than just for cases. This is New York City. There’s life in every section of this place.”

“Death too,” Sherlock said, not looking up from the book he was holding in his hands as he paced around the living room. “Our stock and trade is in the death that permeates this city.”

Joan rolled her eyes at him, looked around for something to use as a bookmark, and then when she found something walked in front of him, dropped it in between the pages he was looking at and closed the book with a snap. “Then forget about death today and consider celebrating life for a change. I swear, you’re all about doom and gloom all of a sudden.”

“My bees are the victim of some sort of infection. I’m trying to figure out a way to stop it before a certain bee I named after a certain partner vanishes with the rest of the dead hive,” he said, giving her a mild glare.

“You can take a few hours to go join me for this massive street fair in Tribeca that I was supposed to go to with a date that someone deduced the hell of and sent him running,” she said, matching his glare with equal force.”

They locked gazes for a few moments and then he looked away and sighed. She would win, of course. She usually did. He hated to admit it, but Joan had sway over him in a way few others did. He would do much to make her happy, and if going to mingle among the masses for a street fair for a time would make her happy, he would do so. He gently tossed the book on the sofa and then went to the coat rack. “Lead on, MacDuff.”

---

It wasn’t an altogether bad sort of street fair if he wanted to be honest with himself. Rather like the Sunday Up Market at Brick Lane, in its own way. Vendors hawking their wares, food being sold from street carts and food trucks, artists trying to make a living. They had passed by one in particular a few times that Joan had seemed most intrigued by, and on the fourth go round Sherlock stopped in his tracks, immobile as a stone.

“You want a portrait,” he said to her.

“No!” Joan said hastily. “I mean, it’s street art, it’s just...” She trailed off, glancing at the art that the artist had propped up on a small easel to display their skills. “It’s so beautiful.”

“Watercolours,” Sherlock murmured, moving closer to the easel. “Very lifelike. Quite exquisite.” He glanced over ad saw the artist, a young woman, was currently subject free. “Pose.”

“What?” Joan asked, surprised.

“We have tred most of this fair and you have walked by this particular booth four times. You want a portrait.” He gestured to the canopy covered booth. “Pose for a watercolour. I will cover the cost. It is my gift to you.”

Joan gave him a smile and ducked inside, speaking with the artist and her companion while Sherlock studied the art. There was something quite familiar about the style and technique that he could not put his finger on, but it was nagging at him. When Joan called him in to hear the price, he stepped inside. “You are not a professional,” he said.

“Sherlock!” Joan said, her eyes wide.

“It’s all right,” the woman said, shaking her head. “No, I’m not. I just do this for fun.”

Sherlock nodded. “And how long have you been doing this for fun?” he asked, crossing his arms.

The woman tilted her head. “About...five years now?”

“But you’ve been painting longer,” he said.

“Since I was very young,” she replied.

“I am so sorry,” Joan said, glaring at Sherlock before turning to the woman.

“It’s alright,” the woman said, giving her a smile. “It’s good to know more about an artist when you’re getting a commission.”

“Kimmy,” her companion said. “You’re running low on the blue you’d use for her shirt.”

Kimmy pursed her lips and then looked at her paints. “I think we can manage. I’ll pull something out of the hat.”

Then it clicked. The wunderkind watercolor genius that Irene...Jamie...had espoused about, who painted such beautiful pictures as a child, whose style she could never match no matter how hard she tried. Jamie had shown him some of her aborted attempts and this was the artist. “Kimberly,” he murmured. “You disappeared from the art world at fourteen. Your parents would not allow the release of your surname or the showing of your photograph. You did not attend your gallery showings. They tried to keep you as normal a child as possible while sharing your gift with the world.”

“And yet I still managed to feel the pressure of fame,” she said, her smile becoming a little more wry as she began to paint Joan. “Not from my parents, but everyone else. They wanted more, they wanted bigger, they wanted flashier, and I just wanted to enjoy my friends and my life as a teenager. So at fourteen, I retired and walked away from the art world. But I couldn’t give up painting entirely. I didn’t go to art school because that would be too conspicuous, but things like this...that’s enough.” Her smile became warmer as she looked at Sherlock. “You’re the first to ever figure it out.”

“I once knew an art forger who tried to copy your style. She never succeeded,” he said.

Kimberly chuckled. “That makes me feel better.” She turned her attention to the work she was doing. “You should get a portrait too…?”

“Sherlock Holmes,” he said. “I would be honoured.”

“And I would be honored to paint you, free of charge.” Her companion patted the seat next to her and he sat down, having a clear view of her working. “Come and watch me work.”

Sherlock sat, entranced. He had seen Jamie paint from time to time, though never her original work; that had been the lure to her “death” scene. But he had seen her do bits and pieces of her restorations and her forgeries, so he knew great skill when he saw it. Kimberly possessed every inch of skill that Jamie had. They way she moved her brush was like poetry, should he make the comparison, and it was beautiful to watch.

Soon she was done with Joan’s portrait and it was time for his sitting. At times he found it hard to sit still for such things but it was easy today, to stay perfectly skilled so such a skilled artisan could capture his likeness. It was almost with regret when she told him it was done. Joan had taken his spot to watch and she too looked just as impressed as he had. “It’s magnificent,” she said in awe.

He moved to view it and saw a picture that looked delicate yet vibrant at the same time, with his name at the bottom. She had even signed it, which he knew to most collectors would increase its worth tenfold, though he cared not about that. “I agree.”

“They need to dry, but they should be ready to pick up in a few hours,” Kimberly said. “I promise I won’t leave until you’ve gotten them.”

“Let me tip you,” Sherlock said, reaching for his well-hidden wallet.

“You don’t need to,” Kimberly said. “Free of charge, remember?”

“For something of as great value as this, I feel I must give you some portion of it’s worth.” He pulled two bills from his wallet and folded them over before slipping them in her tip jar. Then he gave her a warm grin and bowed at the waist. “We will return in a few hours.”

He left the booth then and Joan followed, a wide grin on her face as Sherlock put his wallet back in his coat. “You do realize you just tipped her $200,” she said.

He nodded. “I do,” he replied.

“You don’t throw around money like that.”

He stopped and looked at her for a moment. “One must pay for things of value, or else they lose their worth. They are worth much more than $200, but it is something more than I believe she would normally get.” He paused. “Now. I need to find an ATM and make a withdrawal. I believe my father can stand to lose some money to gift a young artist for some exquisite paintings.” He watched her shake her head and his grin widened. Yes, this had definitely been the best decision of the day, to celebrate life instead of investigate death, if only for a brief time. A most rewarding decision indeed...

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[clarahue]

What TV has meant to me:

I grew up not too rich, but defiantly not poor. I had box of a TV, and a few VHS’s. When I was I younger TV wasn’t a big thing for me. Sure I woke up early in the morning to watch kids cartoon, and my sister and I hated it when my mother forced us to stop watching TV on a lazy summer’s day. But I had never been invested into TV. Well that was all about to change the summer before I went off to high school.

This is what TV has meant of me (Under the cut cause it’s long, some spoilers):

Special thanks to one of my sister’s numerous ex-boyfriends, I have long since forgotten your name by now, but thanks. It was the summer of 2012, I had just graduated grade eight and was going to high school in the fall. The Avengers movie had just come out, and my local blockbuster had just been shut down (something I had been rather upset about). I had started going to the library near my house to get movies almost once a week. I had fallen in love with the Avengers movie, I had not seen any Marvel movies before and so I had begun to watch those all the Marvel movies. I learned everything I could about the Marvel characters. My family had just gotten Netflix and I began watching all of the Marvel cartoons on Netflix. My obsession for Marvel and comic books had just began. My sister’s boyfriend at the time had transferred some movies and TV shows onto a USB for us to watch. He had put a number of Marvel movies on there for me. He had wanted my sister to watch Doctor Who, so that was on the USB as well, along with the show Once Upon a Time.

I guess I’ll start with a quick rundown of Doctor Who, as Once Upon a Time had a much bigger impact on my life. It had took me a little while to get into Doctor Who as at first glance It didn’t seem like a show I would like. After watching a few episodes I began to fall in love with it. I binged watched from the beginning of the reboot right up to Clara’s arrival in a matter of days. I enjoyed Doctor Who, in all of its silliness, even kick-starting my own friend’s obsession of Doctor Who. Doctor Who has, of course, become something I look forward to and I will often rewatch old episodes. There have been countless times that I have spent hours discussing Doctor Who with my friends.  

Oh Once Upon a Time (OUAT), I hate you, but if someone were to ask me if I could have never have watched OUAT, would I have done so, I would tell them never in a million years. As much as I hate the show now, it had a huge impact on my life, sometimes I think that’s sad, but honestly when I look at where I am now I could care less if it was this silly show that got me here. OUAT was everything the little girl in me had ever loved. It was pure fantasy, what my whole childhood had revolved around. I had the funny experience of accidently watching the premier of the second season first. But after I realized my mistake I was hooked instantly. I quickly picked my favourite characters, hating others. I loved the small stories the show told and how it twisted the fairy tales we knew so well. It was like they had a new twist around every corner. I don’t think that I have never freaked out more in my whole entire life as I did when I realised that Rumpelstiltskin was the beast from Beauty and the Beast. Because of the show I was rereading every fairy tale story out there. I had begun rewatching old Disney movies with my sister, ones that I had never watched before or hadn’t seen in a long time. My sister and I had never been particularly into Disney, but suddenly we were becoming children again, dreaming of going to Disney world. By this time I was going off to high school. I had taken an art class, and our final project was to put our artwork up online, my teacher had showed Tumblr and we all make a blog for our art. I asked my sister how to use the site, as being five years older than me she had been on Tumblr for a few years now. She showed me how I could follow blogs of shows that I liked, and quickly I was following every OUAT blog out there. That was how I was introduced to the world of being a fan. As I was learning how to navigate Tumblr, I was learning about ships, canons, OTP’s, and fan theories. I had even began reading fanfics, falling in love with the amazing fan art, and watching fan made videos on YouTube. I quickly began wanting to make my own stuff to honour the show I loved so dearly. I bought the DVD’s for each season of OUAT, which would be the first show my family would own on DVD. I rewatched almost every episode multiple times, I knew everything there was to know about the show. I had even kept a small book hidden underneath my couch cushions, so when I watched the episode I could write down stuff from the episodes. So maybe I had fallen fast and hard into this world, but I guess I was trying to distract myself for my life.

I went few a few rough things in my life, my parents even split up. I have always been an awkward sort of soul, who has never been particularly good at talking to people. Grade 10 rolled around and I was introduced to the people who would soon become my best friends. At first I felt awkward around them, though they were friendly and welcoming. Suddenly one day we realized that we watched a lot of the same shows. My new friends all watched both Doctor Who and OUAT. That pretty much jump started our friendship. Every Monday (the day after which OUAT aired) I looked forward to talking about the show with my friends. I loved hearing their theories about shows, as I had never been one to theorize about a show before. But soon enough I joined in on their fun. I loved talking about shows with them, I had never in my life talked this in depth about a show. It was strange but I was quite enjoying it, I was realising that I liked shows and I had a passion for them. It was around this time that my sister went to her fist Comic-con of sorts, it was a small convention, but she brought me back my first ever comic book, I was ecstatic. Though I wasn’t sure if I would be able to handle all those people I began wanting to go to my own comic-con, I wanted to dress up, and see all the fascination costumes. Most of all I wanted to meet the cast of OUAT, I dreamed of going over to Vancouver were the show is filmed. By then end of grade 10 my friends had thrown a small party where we all dressed up to watch the season three finale of OUAT.

Let me just say that this was the first time I felt comfortable around a group of friends. For the first time I felt I could be my crazy self, I finally felt like I was accepted for who I was. I had found something I loved and a group of friends who were totally awesome. It’s weird to think how we became friends through TV shows, but I wouldn’t change that for the world. My friends love to write. I had loved writing as a child, and like most kids had sometimes dreamed of being a writer. They had told me that they had written a few fanfics. Having a few stories already rolling around in my head, I figured if my friends had written fanfictions that it shouldn’t be too scary to write my own fanfiction. And so I did, telling no one I knew, for I was rather embarrassed. Writing fanfictions has become rather fun for, even though I still get really scared about posting my stories online. I enjoy writing, and I hope that I’ve gotten better over the years. I love reading other people’s stories and I especially love seeing people’s fanart, wishing I was that good.

I’ll quickly mention a few other shows that I watch. Of course having been obsessed about Marvel I was really excited to watch Marvel’s Agents of Shield and have watched the show since it first aired, I consider Agents of Shield to be one of my favourite shows. I watched Merlin, No Ordinary Family, Smallville, Leverage (another favourite), Sherlock, and Firefly. I have been watching Murdoch Mysteries since I was younger and I love the show, but honestly I’m surprised it’s lasted this long. My sister and I started watching Arrow when I was in grade nine or ten. The Flash was always on before AOS so I would catch the last few minutes, and eventually I decided to watch it as well. Halfway through the first season of Supergirl I had decided to start watching the show, and I figured I might as well start watching Legends of Tomorrow since I was watching all of the other DC shows. One of my friends had convinced me to watch The 100 sometime before season 2 had aired. I watched both Agent Carter and Galavant and was sad to see both shows cancelled. I have also began watching iZombie (has become a favourite) and Stranger Things.

Maybe I should give some background to my life, before going into the next phase of my stories. I have grown up in a Christian home, and like I have said, we didn’t watch a lot of TV. My sister was always chill about things, and I, in turn, was chill about things too. LGBTQ characters didn’t grace my screens very much. Sure there was the odd episode of Murdoch Mysteries. I think Jack from Doctor Who (and Torchwood, but I watched like two episodes) was my first introduction to a gay character. Of course Doctor Who has had a few more LGBTQ characters since. My sister watched Glee and sometimes I would watch the odd episode with her. I fell in love when Nyssa kissed Sara on Arrow and shipped them a lot. I had just started watching The 100 and I was still very much in my little bubble. I thought Lexa was pretty cool, she was badass and I thought she was very attractive. Suddenly she seemed to be staring at Clarke a little too long. I had seen those glances before, from the likes of OUAT. Glances between Emma and Regina, but I knew that was never going to happen. So I didn’t think much of this either. Lexa briefly mentioned a past female lover and I cheered internally. She and Clark held a flame together, and she asked Clarke to drink with her, and I was all “Nothing is going to come of this”. And then they kissed, and I freaked out a little. I had been right, those glances were a little bit more. I had predicted this! I was ecstatic, and I totally shipped them. By this time my friend and I had started our own OUAT blog on Tumblr. I got a little into The 100 fandom (not really though). And then suddenly it happened, Lexa died. I can’t quite remember if I already knew about Lexa’s death before hand or not. But Lexa’s on screen death didn’t affect me much, though I was kind of sad to see the character go. I soon began to see the back lash the show had caused. I had never even heard of the ‘bury you’re gays’ Trope before. But suddenly I was reading about all of the LGBTQ characters that were killed off onscreen. That reality didn’t sit well with me, and I agreed with those who began to push for a change. I too began to hope things would change.

So this past year high school ended and University began. Most of my friends had stopped watching OUAT, but I was still watching, mainly because I had committed most of my life to that show. OUAT was going downhill though (sorry those who still like the show) and watching the show almost became a chore to me. Soon enough I stopped watching and even got rid of my OUAT blog. I was pretty bummed out about the fact that I had stopped OUAT. I had committed my whole life to it. What show was now going to become my life? I was confused about life in general too. In truth I was begging to question my sexuality. I had been questioning my sexuality since high school had begun, though I didn’t think much of it as I was rather distracted with life. My sister had come out to me as bisexual when I was in grade eleven, the fact hardly fazed me. Going to University had been rather stressful for me, as I had been very scared. I waited patiently for my shows to return, to cheer me back up. Legends of Tomorrows came back for its second season with Sara as bisexual as ever, and it made me smile. I joked with my friend that Sara was my life goals, she was kick butt and she didn’t give a crap about anything (well most of the time) she was pretty chill, and not to mention kind of attractive.

Season one of Supergirl, for whatever reason hadn’t been my favourite (I’m sorry) but I had enjoyed it enough and had decided to keep watching it. I was begging to really enjoy season two, a lot more then season one. And then Maggie Sawyer walked into the scene with a smirk on her face. She seemed pretty cool, and then suddenly she was saying how she was a lesbian and I was in love with the character. Was Alex getting a little flustered around her, or was that just me? Just me probably. Well then Maggie went and held Alex’s hand, and Alex looked down at their hands. And that zoom in on Alex’s face after Maggie walked away with her girlfriend. That defiantly wasn’t me, was it? Please tell me it wasn’t just me. I hadn’t been too into the DC TV show universe, though I watched all of the shows. But suddenly I was willing to throw myself into it. After reading that the creators had intended to make one of their characters on their shows come out, it was clear to me that this was defiantly going to be Alex’s storyline. Alex coughed up her feelings about Maggie and I was smiling and cheering. It was beautiful. I was looking back on my life remembering how I had been questioning my own sexual identity was for a while now. I, like Alex was begging to remember those little moments. Every Tuesday morning (The day after Supergirl airs) I woke up early super excited to watch a new episode of Supergirl. I couldn’t wait to see more of Alex’s storyline. Could it be that I had found a new show to dedicate my life too? Well unfortunately the show quickly fell into flaws. I wasn’t enjoying it as much as I had, I was even missing the aspects from season one. I seriously hope the show fixes itself up, for I do love the show, and do still look forward to it. I mainly focus on the Sanvers moments though.

Not soon after I had moved into University did I start watching a lot of LGBTQ shows and movies (ps: I loved D.E.B.S). I’m the type of person who can’t handle anything too graphic and likes a happy ending.  I watched Netflix’s One Day at a Time, Carmilla, Faking it, Black Mirror’s episode San Junipero, and have just finished Wynonna Earp. TV shows and movies like these have given me characters that I connect with and love to see their journey. These TV shows have helped me realize who I am. Watching these TV shows I hoped that one day I could be strong and confident like the characters on the shows.

I have no clue of who I am or what I’m doing with my life. I’m just a shy girl (not very attractive) who likes plants, animals, little kid cartoons, superheroes, and basically anything positive to do with LGBTQ+ stuff. TV shows are meant to be an escape from our reality, they are meant to be a way of opening up our imagination. I am forever in owe of the creativity put into movies and TV shows. Over the years I have come to appreciate those who are truly dedicated to a fandom, and I think those people are pretty awesome. To me TV shows have always been something special. To me TV shows have been about finding who I am. Through TV shows I found some of my best friends. Through those friends I have learned to be more of myself, and I know that they will accept me no matter what. Through TV I have allowed myself to figure out who I truly am. TV reminds me that there are others like me out there, and that it’s okay to be who I am. Many shows are about people struggling to find their place in the world, and well isn’t that everyone. Sure there have been multiple times shows have let me down and I have learned that it’s okay to just give up on a show. Sometimes life is hard, but I tell myself “I have to see what happens next week on my shows”. It seems kind of horrible, but sometimes a TV show is all I need to keep myself going. I think creators realizes how much their viewers throw themselves into a show. I hope that they will be careful with shows in the future and will make them more inclusive. When I look upon how Supergirl season two started or Doctor Who’s introduction of new companion Bill, I smile to think about the world that we are living in today. I can’t wait for our future. So here’s to all the crazies, to all those who are way too obsessed with a show. I ask all of you, what have the TV shows you’ve watched meant to you?

PS: if you have anything you want to ask me I don’t mind answering :)