#I need to stop buying snacks on a totally random note I have too many snacks and things that I don't need

[sl33py-g4m3r]

making a record of every dairy thing in my apartment to attempt to chart how fast it's gonna be to get rid of, mainly by eating; but I guess I can put some in the donation box at the park for people~~ the unopened stuff of course~~

goobers x 5 (a candy consisting of milk chocolate balls w peanuts in them. initially bought cause I tried them and they hit really good, then I stopped eating them, lol. and one of them is open)

store brand pasta sides (there are 2 rice too) x 12 (i like to stock up on things cause I don't go to the store that often mainly cause I'm blind legally and can't drive)

boxes of macaroni and cheese x 3

2 bags of doritos and one of store brand loaded potato chips (which I'm surprised don't have bacon or lard in them and are actually vegetarian)

2 of pringles I just bought (sour cream and onion and ranch)

2 of some crunchy puffed pea snacks bought at the dollar tree (calbee brand i think? they're so good and have a lot of fibre for a puffed snack like that!)

3 open containers of ice cream (that I'm sadly not eating cause I learned I don't like it that much so it's hard for me to eat)

2 jars of great value nutella with one being half gone

a mainly used tube thing of Parmesan cheese (which may not be vegetarian based on what and how rennet is used idk)

4 of some spreadable cheese (gourmet w herbs, one of them is open the other 3 are sealed in plastic and not open, bought at a discount store on impulse a while ago)

25 individual packets of swiss miss hot cocoa mix

a big bag of trail mix that has m&ms in it (are those even vegetarian? don't they use shellac for the candy coating or was that other candies instead?)

a partially used jar of alfredo sauce

a partially ate fluffy cheesecake kind of pie

and I think 2 partially used containers of popcorn salt

all the other butter type stuff/margirine/cheese that I have is vegan stuff that was given out at commodities when mom and a neighbour went~~ mom knew that I keep trying to go vegan and gave them to me~~ she even gave me some vegan (i think they're vegan I could be mistaken and they're just vegetarian) sausage patties too~~ and seasoned seitan (that idk where on earth to find anywhere at all; could buy vital wheat gluten and chickpea flour and attempt to make my own again. but whenever I make it I don't like it and can't figure out whether I don't like seitan or just made it wrong~~ made it homemade with just flour once~~ so if you want a good arm work out, try it, lol didn't like that either sadly for the above)

it's cool commodities is giving out vegan stuff sometimes~~ but she hadn't went in a long time~~

I feel this is going to tale a lot longer than I think it will~~ I guess just slowly and consistently use them and not feel bad for doing so? cause hopefully even being a vegetarian would still help fight global warming and stuff~~

and I've been a vegetarian for almost the entirety of this year~~~~ wooooooooo~~!!!!! I say almost cause the year isn't over~~~ and some many months last year too~~~

longest time ever that I've successfully been vegetarian~~~ like over 200 days~~~ cause I use a counter app to track the days and I've switched counters back and forth a few times trying to find a good one~~ Meatless is pretty good~~~ used to use Quit Meat but it wants you to log every animal food you consume and I felt that was too tedious~~~ Meatless just lets you log what meat if any you consume and hit either the plant based, or hit the egg/dairy buttons when you want to log a day as vegan or vegetarian. and it lets you choose what country you're in to give you relevant stats to your country~~

plopping another question here at the end cause I'm unsure if it's actually animal or not~~ I have some fleece blankets; and I thought fleece was the name for wool or some other animal derived fabric~~~ unless fleece means something that's non animal too.... they're light fluffy and warm blankets~~ so.... is it animal fleece or more than likely something else and still fine to use?

asked reddit a while ago when I went on r/vegan (cause r/vegetarian was barred by a filter or restriction and wouldn't let me post at all~~ why is reddit so locked down in this manner? it sucks~~ I don't like reddit~~

I've come so far over the course of a little more than half a year~~~ I no longer see meat as a valid food choice~~~~ or gelatine~~~~

a lot longer than I was when I first tried back in 2013 when I went vegan on a whim~~ lasted a couple of months, didn't know what I was doing, and went back to eating meat. repeat process endlessly until this time hopefully~~~

proud of myself for making it this far this time~~ and not going back to eating meat~~ cause when I did that, I'd feel like a hypocrite and deem myself a failure. But I'm not a failure cause I kept trying~~ I keep trying~~

so much so that the vitamins I take for in general vitamin, and the vitamin D the doctor wanted me on are vegan~~~

I still feel like a baby vegan even after all the time I've tried and failed in the past ~~ T_T;;

[ellies-cycling-notes]

Day 16: Mill Creek to Findley Park

Distance Covered: 84.48 miles

Total Time (including rests): 7:52 (8:01am-3:53pm)

Time spent riding: 6:56

Average Speed: 12.2 mph

Apples Eaten: 4 (fuji - 7/10, fuji - 5.5/10, fuji - 6/10, fuji - 6/10)

Today's ride was fine. I don't really know how else to describe it. It was another long one, one that I tried to take a little slow. Almost all the ride was on state roads, except a little bit on a rail trail called the Freedom Trail. That trail was really nice, with good pavement and flat ground. However, I was only on it for a few miles.

Most of the ride was rather flat, with only a few hills here and there. Even when there were hills, the inclines were usually rather gradual, making them a lot easier to ride on than on previous days. Overall, today kinda felt like a nothing day. There wasn't much of interest along the ride, but I still spent most of the time focusing on riding.

I ended up taking 2 breaks, at about 1/3 and 2/3 of the way through the ride. First one was a snack break at Kent State. It was actually a great place to stop, cause I could actually use the wifi there, so I could check a few things I hadn't been able to in the last couple of days. The other stop was under some random tree in the shade in the middle of nowhere, where I had lunch.

Probably the most interesting part of the ride apart from the Freedom Trail was the last 20 miles of the ride. Those last 20 miles were all on a single long straight road, with almost no hills, just cutting across rural Ohio. It perfectly encompassed how I felt about the entire ride today.

After getting to my campsite and getting set up, I took my bike for a short ride (without any of my luggage) to a nearby grocery store to refill on bread and apples, as I was beginning to run out. I should now have enough to last me through arriving in Ann Arbor in 2 days' time.

Small Notes:

Water bottle - I kept the bottled water I got yesterday and have been keeping filled and in my front bag. It's been helpful in allowing me to make the additional push I sometimes need to get to a proper resting spot to refill my water

Croc - I carry Crocs on the back of my bike to wear when I'm not riding (you might've seen them in a pic or two). I'm sorry to say that the strap on one of them has broken. I can still wear them and walk around, but it's now going to be harder putting them in my bike, because I don't have an easy way to loop a bungee cord through that croc (I'll figure something out, though)

Design Notes

It's the return of design notes! Today I actually had something that came to mind naturally that I spent a lot of time thinking about, so I don't feel awkward and like I'm pushing myself to think of something to write about.

Procedural Generation

I'm gonna talk a bit about procedural generation, and specifically about how I like using it in cases other than map-making. This thought came to mind because I was thinking about Time Loop, and how the Assistance App in that game might decide what events should occur and why. For example, I don't want too many events that do similar things to occur, and you also want the threat of events to grow realistically over time. I don't know quite yet how I'd do this Proc-Gen, but I do have two other theoretical cases I've thought about before that will probably help me:

Proc-Gen in Dominion: For those who do not know, Dominion is a tabletop deckbuilder card game, where players are given a random assortment of cards which they can buy 1 or more copies of throughout the game, and they make use od those cards ro gain Victory Points. And also, it's probably my favorite game of all time. The base game of Dominion has about 25 different cards which can be in the Supply or shop, and you play with 10 each game. But then, you add in expansions, and the number of possible card combinations becomes near limitless. I mentioned earlier that you pick cards for the shop randomly, but that's not quite true. You can do that, but that will often lead to unbalanced or unfun game setups. Instead, there are generally a few heuristic rules you follow when selecting cards, such as not having too many or too little of any cost of card, or not having multiple different cards whose effects are too similar. With that in mind, I've thought in the past about coding a program that selects a set of 10 cards, such that cards are selected randomly yet it minimizes the possibility of poor setups. How I think I'd do it is by giving each card various tags/attributes, such as their cost and generalities about their effects (such as "trashers" or "villages"). Then, the first card would be picked completely randomly. However, whatever card that is will change the weight of other cards in the pool such that you're more likely to pick a wider variety of cards. Of course, the system as it is has a few problems, such as the fact that it may lead to certain cards being picked too often or almost never, just because of what attributes they have. It could also still lead to situations where you have too many or too few cards of certain costs, because it doesn't account for that.

Characters Inc: Two years ago, I made a game called Characters, Inc. for a programming class, where you are given randomly generated characters, and have to equip them with items and send them on quests in order to make enough money to survive. Unfortunately, I never got to do one of the things I wanted to with that game, which was to have a system that procedurally generates items with stat bonuses and effects, as selected from a random list. Instead, I just had a list of possible items, and they would just be randomly picked. However, the idea stuck in my mind, so I had some thoughts on how it would work. What's important to know as a precursor to this is that Characters Inc is a rather simplistic game when it comes to characters and their items: you just send them on a quest, and depending on their stats, they come back with a certain amount of loot and damage taken. Because of that, it was really easy to design equipment that basically all just had conditional stat changes and related effects (for example, a Bloodied item would give a basic stat increase, but would give a larger stat increase if the character carrying it started the quest already damaged). Thus, most item effects could be represented as quantitative values. My idea for the Proc-Gen for this would be the following steps: (1) randomly select the level of the item, as this would determine how powerful it is. With that, you get a quantitative power level in the bank (2) randomly select an ability for the item to have, and increase or decrease the power level in the bank according to that ability (positive abilities would spend power, while negative would gain it). (3) decide whether the item should have another ability. If yes, return to step (2). If not, (4) randomly assign the item basic stat bonuses, spending the rest of the power in the bank. (5) decide what type of item it is, partially based on the stats it provides (e.g. defense-granting items are more likely to be shields or armor).

Both of those examples are ones which could serve as good inspirations if I decide to actually work on Time Loop, as they are more about generating a realistic creation from a list, rather than creating a picture or map.

This is all for tonight. There won't be any pictures tonight, partially because I didn't take any, and partially because the service is so bad at my campsite I don't think I'd be able to share them. Tomorrow's another long one, and it's just a straight shot West across Ohio. Luckily, at the moment it looks like I'll have a Northeast wind, but I don't know if that'll hold true.

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[obeymeluv]

The Bros as Dads

PSA: The boys would be very attractive dads (emotionally and physically). That is all.

Note: the headcanon also includes genders for the kids. I can see some of them having sons, and others having daughters. And, obviously, everyone is older (20′s-ish).

Lucifer

Takes a while to process the news. It’s kind of a big thing. His love life was something of a roller coaster (or nonexistent) until you. The ‘L’ word was a hurdle, now there’s a B word and a P word?!

When his brain realizes what you’ve said or if you show him some proof, the pride takes over FULL SWING (you can feel it explode in him, like his aura) and he purrs

You are truly his stars, his moon, and the heavens he so dearly misses

There’s this raw, vulnerable love in Lucifer’s eyes and it pretty much awes everyone because he’s usually so proper and reserved

The memories are old and dusty but Lucifer’s parenting instincts are strong

A type-A, fussy person. You may have 7 months left before you give birth, but the house will be spotless and perfectly proofed before you hit bed rest

Piles of parenting books suddenly sprout around the house. No one’s sure where they came from or how there’s even that many WRITTEN about parenting.

You and the child become his world. You’re his kryptonite, the only thing to convince him away from long hours or break him out of sour moods

Lucifer is very stressed, more than he thought he’d be, because you’re carrying his child and he worries for your health.

He’s with you every step of the way, from appointments to birth

He’d absolutely drop everything to tend to your needs, or appoint one of the brothers if he couldn’t.

Likes to busy himself with making a nursery and is actually good at themes/interior decorating

Has a tiny desk built in his study. The child won’t be able to join him for a while, but the idea of his tiny joy working on something beside him warms his heart

Hunts down obscure herbs and items from folklore that are supposed to bless pregnancies or benefit the unborn. Turns out he’s really nervous and superstitious.

Lucifer is the worst when it comes to shopping because his pride outweighs his logical restraint. If he convinces himself IN THE SLIGHTEST that his child would look good in something or the nursery could really use an item, it’s coming to the House of Lamentation

He ugly cries when he realizes you’re having a girl because he feels like Lilith has been given back to him.

Refuses to name his child Lilith because of everything that happened. Can’t settle for anything close to her name or any nicknames they gave her.

Makes you a sleeping space in his study. Loves to take breaks to watch you sleep. Unintentionally takes a break to kiss your stomach and talk to the baby.

Firm believer in ‘in the belly’ enrichment so you’ll have music playing and Lucifer will read to them all the time.

If the baby’s not with you, she’s with him. Lucifer has definitely shown up to a meeting with Lord Diavolo with his baby in a chest carrier. The meeting went flat because Diavolo wanted to play with the baby.

He’s the type of dad that demands total silence when the baby’s sleeping. Might have tied up some of his brothers to achieve it.

He’s not a total hard-ass (this kid has made a sucker out of him, okay?) but his kid will definitely have manners and knows to help clean up.

The type to take naps with his kid. He’ll get up at 2 in the morning and climb into their crib if they’re fussy.

Lucifer spent so much of his life being the primary caretaker for his bros that he forgets he’s not alone this time. When you push him back down so he can sleep, and tend to your daughter, his heart almost bursts with love.

On the fence about another child. The kid’s going to have pride in spades and he thinks a sibling will humble them (and make them less lonely). He’s also afraid of that prideful wrath and doesn’t want two prideful little demons always fighting

Isn’t the best with dressing up his kid but likes to give them fancy shoes. The shoes are always on point even if the rest of the outfit is a disaster.

Is 100% ready to receive any and everything “#1 Dad” because he IS, DAMN IT. He’ll use it regularly, too.

Mammon

He’s freaking out hardcore (”You sure? Really, really sure? Maybe you just have gas or something. Y-yeah!”)

Doesn’t believe it until he sees a test. Promptly faints. Dead-ass faints as soon as he sees it.

Kind of remembers it when he wakes up, and you have to remind him again.

This time he’s pretty excited because THE GREAT MAMMON will be having a child. WHAT A GIFT, RIGHT? THE BEST GIFT!

All the magazines are snapping up this gossip and, for once in his life, he puts the earnings away. Kid has a nice fund going before they’re even born.

His schedule is 50% work, 50% family because YOUR MAIN MAN HAS TO BE THERE. Work just pays the bills and pads the nursery account, okay?

The Devildom has something similar to a baby shower and Mammon puts all KINDS of high-dollar shit on there. His baby’s going to be stylin’, okay?

Some crying in front of others, but an entirely different kind of crying behind closed doors. Vulnerable, grateful crying about being loved and having a tiny someone who will love him, too

Pays someone to explain baby stuff to him. How to change them, feed them, what type of breathing you should be doing. It surprised his bros because Lucifer could just give him that info. The fact that Mammon paid for it means he’s pretty serious about learning.

Gets tons of free maternity photos because all his magazines want the scoop. He gets to pamper you and see you all dressed up and beautiful and EVERY magazine has a shot of him crying like a proud sap.

Mammon hoards all of those pictures. Has a pile of them in his room, totally separate from everything else.

Has a lot of nervous energy and can get frustrated with all the baby books, so he distracts himself with scrap-booking. Surprisingly good at it.

Mammon thinks you’re just the most beautiful thing ever. He loves taking pictures of you. Wants the kid to have no doubts about how much he loves them and their parent.

He’s so lovesick. When you sleep or hug your belly or just touch it he melts.

Stacks Grimm on your belly when you sleep. Thinks it’s fun. Likes to record how big the towers get.

Not the best at getting up for your random-hour cravings and has definitely made you cry with his bluntness. When he’s more awake he’ll apologize and you guys will work it out.

When he finds out he’s having a little boy, the bros throw a party. Mammon gets semi-drunk and has a huge, ass-chewing lecture about how the bros made him feel for centuries and how they better not say ANYTHING like that to his kid.

You shot down any and all attempts to name the kid anything money related.

Almost passed out when you had the baby.

Cried when he first held him. Calls him Mamm-mini.

Totally planning the baby’s first photo shoot. Has people on standby to make matching outfits.

He now has a partner in crime and the kid can charm the pants off of anyone!

Mammon is 100% devoted to this kid and he secretly hopes he’s the favorite parent.

Lives for any second of bonding he can get. NEEDS IT TO LIVE. 100% a sappy dad.

The most supportive dad, always saying nice things because he knows people didn’t always say nice things about him.

Levi

Brain stops working. You almost think you’ve given him a heart attack

Levi feels you take the controller from his hand and instantly has to fill it with something else, taking yours. He looks at you and asks you again if you’re sure.

He can see it in your eyes and he just crows. He doesn’t know if he’s excited or scared but he made the noise.

Worries A LOT about the idea of becoming a father. Can gross otakus be good fathers? How does he dad?

Gets pre-stressed about social interactions. Kids have to go to school and have play-dates and Levi’s going to have to talk to people...ugh! Gross!

Definitely has a few break-downs (feelings of inadequacy, etc.) before Lucifer or Satan comfort him. He’s better than he thinks, just insecure. Everyone learns as they go. They have classes (”They’re like cheat codes, Levi.”) and it makes him feel better

His gaming friends send their congratulations and he gets lots of themed blankets and onesies.

Wants you to have a water birth because the water is his child’s calling. Really attached to the idea.

He’s constantly looking up guides to baby-proofing, double- and triple-checking safety specs of anything before buying it.

Spends HOURS scouring Akuzon, comparing brands, and reading reviews for everything.

Akuzon noticed he was buying lots of baby books and looking at baby-related things so they sent him a onesie.

You get a lovely beach/water-themed maternity shoot and Levi is so love-struck he gets a nosebleed. Once he’s cleaned up it makes a darling photo shoot.  

Has already made lists of anime for the kid to watch. Some are his favorite, some are for the lessons and moments that stuck with him

Asmo messaged TSL on the down-low and Levi got some quality kid-sized merch.

Tries to get you to name the baby Henry if it’s a boy. When he finds out it’s a girl, he pushes for Henrietta.

Reads TSL to the baby and plays ocean sounds.

As you get further along in your pregnancy, he buys a fridge for his room and stocks it with your favorite cold stuff. Any snack foods are just added to his stash.

You are absolutely worshipped. Craving something? Akuzon has it and the fastest pig is on it’s way. Your feet hurt? Try a water bath!

You’re his Player 2 now and forever (always have been), and he’s keeping you in perfect health.

Probably keeps a video journal for the kid or of the two of you during your pregnancy. Big on preserving stuff digitally.

Probably makes a game for his kid just because. They’ll be able to play it when they’re older.

Bought a ton of Magical Girl-style hairbows and things for when their hair grows in. His daughter’s a fucking princess, okay?

Belphegor bought the baby a goldfish onesie and Levi loves it to pieces.

Bought the baby a seashell bassinet and rocks them to sleep with his tail.

Levi has a bad sleep schedule and wakes easily, so he’s usually the first one to get up and handle the baby.

He has this complex about being a good dad. People can call him a weird, gross otaku but they’re ALSO going to mention how good of a dad he is!

Super affectionate with his kid in a quiet, whispering, mumbling way. Just thinks they’re the best thing.

Having a daughter really makes him rethink some of the ways he viewed anime characters and made him super critical. If his daughter ends up liking anime he’ll make it very clear what he thinks and how she shouldn’t let other people treat her like an object. 

His demon form gets triggered REALLY EASILY if his bros hold her for too long. THAT’S HIS BABY, THANK YOU!

Satan

Secretly hoped to be a father one day. Wanted to prove so badly that he could be one, and move past the constant fear of his temper looming over him. He didn’t want wrath to be his only legacy.

Can’t manage more than a genuine smile and a lilting laugh when you tell him, but he’s literally almost sick with joy. He’s just not the type to jump from the rooftops or anything

Asmodeus and Mammon convince him into drinking because he needs to let loose and really show it!

Satan ends up drunk-stumbling to Lucifer and plunking his head into his chest and crying. He’s crying because he’s happy and mumbling something about ‘granddad’. When his tears dry he’s happy as can be, smugly calls Lucifer an ‘old fuck’ and promptly throws up.

They’re past most of their bad blood but even Lucifer wasn’t surprised Satan never got EVERYTHING out of his system. A lot of his childhood memories are tainted with pure wrath instead of coming into his cardinal sin through some other mean. Or naturally, like puberty.

Between his personal research and Lucifer’s expertise, the baby-proofing is totally covered.

His book binges are strictly about pregnancies, suspicions, rituals, parenting, and anything he can think of that has to do with kids.

He’s big on teas and brews that are supposed to help with pregnancies and pains. Uses his many connections to get ingredients for said teas

Reads the classics and big epics to his unborn child.

Buys you some Hellcats for protection. They’re fiercely loyal, so he’ll know you’re safe.

He’d be the type to nag you about your diet, but not to be mean. He’d support it with this absolute WALL of evidence that turns into a lecture that could last for hours.

Has to fight the Hellcats to sit next to you or touch your belly a lot more than he thought he would. He’d never say it out loud, but he’s starting to hate the cats (he doesn’t mean it though).

Starts cleaning up his book piles a lot more. The baby would get hurt if the stacks fell on them. His room becomes virtually spotless.

You pick books to read together. You end up reading Satan to sleep, too. He keeps a hand on your belly.

Gets nervous about you wanting to go out, and basically tries to keep you in the House of Lamentation. Relents a little because hormones make you scary. He was basically afraid of nothing because the walks were fine.

You like to sit in the Devildom gardens and he thinks you look picturesque and wonderful. It takes his breath away.

Asmodeus is your personal photographer because Satan doesn’t think anyone else will do you justice.

Finds out you’re having boy-girl twins and totally shuts down. What does he say? How does he respond? BELPHIE OR BEEL WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE TWINS! WHY HIM?!

Lucifer is BEYOND amused. This is definitely payback for everything Satan did in his childhood (so the saying goes).

It doesn’t bother him as much when he starts buying smart little cardigans, button-ups, ribbons, and bowties. He’s actually quite happy.

The Hellcats act weird and tip him off to your contractions before your water breaks. Satan gets you to the hospital and helps you give birth. The twins grow to look more like him than you, but if someone mistakes you for the nanny or says something derogatory, he’s pulling two ferocious kids off an idiot

Satan was afraid he’d be a short fuse, but he becomes the parent that explains everything to death (for better or worse). The kids will get a lecture when they’re bad, when the ask ‘why’ to something, he’ll explain why he gave the punishment he did, and be very clear with anything.

Asmodeus

Quickly falls in love with the idea of you being pregnant. It’s the best! Proof of his truest love, the thing that makes his heart beat!

He loved you to pieces before you were pregnant, and loves you even more now (if that’s possible).

Always wants to be with you, smothering your belly with kisses and touches and looking at it like it’s the next greatest love of his life

Takes names very seriously. “My child is a gift unto this world. People will know their name, so it has to be a good one!”

Gets really wrapped up in decor and aesthetic. He’d be a one-man force for all of it if you didn’t tell him to stop and breathe! Asmodeus just has lots of ideas, okay?

Has a really hard time understanding the value of baby-proofing until Satan smushes a few of his lipsticks in his hand and knocks around some finishing powder (”Now imagine that. All the time. With anything you love.”). 

Hires someone to baby-proof the room because that’s just not his thing. He’ll handle securing the valuables, okay?

Constantly reading about beauty rituals and things to do for his pregnant wife. She’s doing something really hard and deserves to be pampered!

You’ll constantly be pampered or trying ‘this and that’ because he read it was good for the baby. Good for beauty, good for health, etc.

Has a pretty decent diet, himself, and keeps you on yours.

You definitely have pregnancy sex a few times. Anything he can do to help you out, you know?

Asmodeus ADORES watching you grow round with his child and LIVES for helping you take care of yourself. He’ll let you lounge in his fantastic tub and has no issues sitting on the floor and doing your toes

Picks out all your outfits. Wants you to look your best! Don’t worry, you’ll be comfy!

When he finds out you’re having a girl he cries. A lot.

SO MANY BABY UPDATE BROADCASTS ON DEVILGRAM! There is an official ‘baby watch’. It’s trending more than you thought it would.

Takes TONS of videos.

His baby is easily the most fashionable child in all of Devildom.

Takes really candid, private photos that have a lot of sentimental value. A lot of your pregnancy photos are you looking comfy in bed or sitting at a vanity in breezy clothes as he does your makeup.

The type of dad to sit down in the middle of the store to play with toys (are they good enough for his kid? Like, really?). Must feel everything before he buys it. If he doesn’t like how it feels, he won’t buy it.

You end up giving birth earlier than planned and Asmo almost throws up because birth doesn’t look like he thought it would

Super nervous during your pregnancy because you’re in pain and there’s lots of noises.

Busies himself doing your makeup because that’s the only way he can handle the situation. You’re holding his tail and he SWEARS you’re going to break it off!

The bros help deliver his little angel and Asmo is SMITTEN. ABSOLUTELY SMITTEN.

Holding his baby 24/7.

Loses sleep just because he watches them sleep. Sometimes he loses sleep for real because DAMN, babies don’t sleep a lot, do they?

It’s really hard to adjust to and he’s surprised his skin isn’t god-awful.

Doesn’t regret a thing, fawning over their tiny nails and little curls, and OMG EVERYTHING! Cries a lot because they’re just perfect

His wardrobe reflects his dad status but he still looks like a DILF. You can give him the most classic dad attire and it just looks good on him.

Beelzebub

He’s excited about your pregnancy. Boy honestly tried for it, you know? Studied positions and everything.

Beelzebub has so much love and the idea of holding a tiny someone just warms his heart

Everything kid-related is totally foreign to him except for how to act with them. He and Belphie were the youngest so he was used to being taken care of until he got old enough to climb and eat on his own.

The type of guy to need explicit, step-by-step instructions on EVERYTHING. He doesn’t have a brain for it like Satan or Lucifer, so he needs help

Seriously. Give him a checklist for baby-proofing and he’ll get it done.

Gets pretty down about not being able to cuddle and snuggle like normal, but he’ll look into safe ways to do so.

Has special snuggles with the baby. Kisses your belly and rubs it. Talks to your baby like the little demon it is (even if it doesn’t have a name yet).

Lives for the times you talk to the baby, talk yourself out of bed, or how you absently talk to your belly throughout the day.

Works out to deal with stress and nerves, but also because he wants to be a good, strong dad

The doctors give him a list of exercises you can do and he does them with you

Can’t really take the nutrition advice seriously. He eats pretty much everything and you probably will, too.

When people ask him about your pregnancy, he uses very inclusive language (”We’re expecting, etc.”)

You make mini-dates out of your late-night cravings. Beel is totally in love with it.

Beelzebub becomes your food finder. There’s been times where you look at him so cutely, so imploringly, and all you can manage is ‘spicy and crunchy’. He’ll find you something, don’t worry! He’s an expert!

Big on massages and cuddling. Likes to cup his hands over your belly and trace it.

The type of dad to gain weight with you as your pregnancy moves along. Becomes soft, strong dad.

Finds out you’re having twin boys and has the happiest crying session ever. Belphie is the first to know and all Beel can say is ‘Just like us!’ as he nearly crushes his twin to death.

Likes to dress them in cute and comfy clothes. Animal onesies? Yes!

At some point yours twins are going to look like hotdogs and hamburgers. There’s no shortage of food costumes thanks to Levi, Asmo, and Beel.

Suspicious about baby food, bugs Satan about how nutritious it is, and tries all of it just to be sure.

Some of their teething toys look like real food. Beelzebub ate one on accident.

Is a perfect gentle giant. Afraid of hurting them, for they are tiny and precious, but gets over that pretty quickly.

Always wants to cuddle and hold them. You have to make him leave them alone to sleep. Gets kind of sad when they’re napping because he can’t make faces at them or hear them laugh. Right back to his usual self when they wake up, though.

You best believe they learn their alphabet by studying food. Beelzebub will stand in the kitchen and dig through the pantry until he finds things that match the letters of the alphabet 

Belphegor

He’s kind of surprised you ended up pregnant because the sex is usually lazy and casual. Yes, he has the moments where it’s pretty hardcore, but...wow. For some reason, he just didn’t see you getting pregnant.

Secretly hopes you have more than one kid. Something in him would just be happy if there’s more than one kid. You think it comes from the time he spent alone in the attic but never say it.

Sleeps a lot more. Not out of avoidance or anything, but because naps will be rare in the future. He likes to think he’s stockpiling sleep.

Makes sure you’re comfy at all times.

Would love for you to sleep and be cozy but apparently that’s not healthy for humans, so he takes easy walks around the house and keeps you semi-active.

He’ll give you his cow pillow to use as a back pillow. It’s his way of letting the baby use it until he can share it with them.

Listens to a lot of audiotapes about parenting. Looks at books, too, but does better with audio. 

Reads a new bedtime story to your kid every night.

Sometimes you guys sleep in the star room so he can talk to them about constellations. They can’t see anything, of course, but he still goes into detail.

Isn’t much of a picture person and doesn’t see the point in taking maternity pictures. It’s actually because Belphie has a photographic memory so he remembers everything.

The bros force him into taking maternity pictures.

The type to journal everything. He writes a big-ass, super-detailed diary for the baby.

Is kind of worried about his temperament, so he’ll take some classes on how to handle stress and stuff before the babies arrive

Becomes King of Lists. There’s lists for everything. Lists help. Lists are good.

When he finds out you’re having triplets (a boy and two girls), he doesn’t know how to react. You saw him smile though. It doesn’t sink in until you’re hugging him. “I’m never sleeping again,” he realizes with absolute terror.

Beelzebub is super excited. “That’s twins plus a bonus!”

Very snobby about the nursery decor. Also very tactile like Asmodeus. If it doesn’t feel good, it’s not going in the nursery.

Wants a barn-themed nursery (to include as many cow-related things as possible)

You get the comfiest PJs.

With three kids, he lives by embroidery. He has to have a way to tell them apart, after all (the girls, at least).

Can’t hoard the babies but wants to. Hates that he doesn’t have enough arms to hold them all at the same time.

Is very interested by their tendency to hold each other and nap together. Finds it super adorable.

Makes a super-sized crib he can climb in and sleep with them. It’s basically a Belphie-sized bed with little attachments his kids sleep in. Separates them all just enough so he doesn’t worry about hurting them, but there’s still contact

Thanks whatever god exists that they mostly stay on a schedule together. Makes it stressful for changing diapers, but very fun to feed them.

Almost dies laughing when Lucifer holds them for the first time because one vomited on him, the other sneezed in his face, and one pooped so much it got on his pants leg.

Lulls them to sleep with his happy purr, and gets woken up from a dead sleep by pure love when they make the sound back. Suddenly there’s three chirpy purrs rolling against him and he’s in love.

Proud they love their mama so much (to the point of being TOTAL mama’s kids), but also kind of relieved he can breathe.

The three trade off occasionally when they realize he’s free real estate and come to him for snuggles. They all love him so he doesn’t mind.

This house supports cuddle piles! Belphie got them hooked on group naps for a young age and they sleep together now. 

Hope you liked it :)

[mythiccheroacademia]

Single-Parent!Headcanons

Characters: Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki, and Bakugo Katsuki

A/N: Inspired by y’all. Enjoy <3

Warnings: fluff overload? one tiny curse word

Kirishima Eijirou:

the day his son was born was both the worst and best day of his life

his wife died upon delivery and he almost fainted when he heard the news, bakugo caught him before he could hit the floor

it took him 24 hours before he could gather the courage to go to the nursery and see his baby. he thought he wouldn’t be able to stomach the reminder of losing the love of his life

but when he held the small boy, who instantly nuzzled into his father’s chest, sighing with relief, kirishima was hooked for life

he just continued to hold his son into his chest and cry until he couldn’t anymore

from that day on, he swore he’d be the best parent he could be for his wife and his child’s sake

bc kiri is such a youthful and loving person, taking care of his son was easy, fun, and rewarding

ofc there were hard days, but it was all worth it when his baby would wake up with an adorable laugh, smiling up at him like he was his entire world

they’re two peas in a pod

he and his son are just the cutest pair

he takes his son everywhere, strapping him on his chest with a baby carrier

you bet your ass he’s taken him on (a safe) patrol around the block

kirishima is the kind of dad that puts his kid in a laundry basket, sits them in front of the tv, and acts out rollercoaster sounds

he lives for that loud laugh of his son’s

blows raspberries into the kid’s stomach whenever he starts getting cranky

his son’s first word was “manly” and kirishima spent the entire day bothering the bakusquad about it

everyone has 12 different copies of the video—y’know...just in case

when he takes his first steps, kiri’s swinging him around the house and giving him so many kisses on his chubby cheeks

when he saw his son had one spiky tooth growing in, he almost drowned from the cuteness

the kid gets himself into a lot of trouble tho. he’s always crawling towards the edge of something and putting his hand in things that could totally cut it off. kiri has a heart attack at least once a week

calls him, “son” “bud” and “buddy”

I hc that even though he’s lively around his dad, his son is very shy with new people and in new environments so school is kind of tough for him

but kirishima is always understanding of his troubles and tries his best to let him know that as long as he’s his son, he’ll always be his biggest supporter

if that doesn’t work, they go buy their fav meats and have a random bbq (kirishima just looks like the bbq dad™️ lmao). that always seems to do the trick

when his son enrolls in U.A., he’s there with a banner, his fav meat, and a bunch of tears when he sends him off

his son wears their matching crocs only to cheer up his dad. nothing else

aka he lowkey likes them but you didn’t hear that from me!

kirishima always has the urge to ft his kid, like, every hour. but he won’t bc he knows he’s busy training to be a hero

but he does send him uplifting snapchat videos from time to time

his son still wonders how in the world his dad even knows about snapchat

he makes sure nobody knows about this

when his son calls him about his insecurities, comparing himself to his classmates, kirishima is right there to lift him up. he also dealed with those same issues and tells his son that even on his worst days, he’s strong for just facing the day and he needs to believe in himself before others can believe in him

the next day, the bakusquad is watching the tournament together

kirishima has manly tears in his eyes as his little boy places second place in the sports festival

bakugo is threatening to kill him if he ruins his shirt

Kaminari Denki:

denki becomes a dad from adopting a pair of four year old twins (one boy, one girl) that were left homeless and without parents after a villain attack

he kinda knew the parents from hero work and felt it was an obligation to at least make sure their children were okay

he wasn’t planning on necessarily adopting them. he was young and inexperienced with children. how could someone like him raise a kid when he could barely raise himself?

but after two visits to the orphanage and seeing how miserable they looked, he couldn’t leave the building without signing the papers

the transition was awkward. the twins were not only traumatized, but distrusting and scared. they didn’t really know kaminari and now he was suddenly their adoptive parent

kaminari tried everything from ice cream, to late night movie snacks, to hide n seek to get them to relax but it wouldn’t work

he almost gave up hope, and thought maybe it was a better idea to take them back to the orphanage. but that was before the night he woke up to them crawling into his bed, scared from the thunder storm that rumbled on outside

kaminari froze, scared that he’d frighten them away with any sudden movement, but he soon relaxed and hugged them close to his chest when they snuggled into his sides. he sleeps with a peaceful mind that night

although, he’s awoken to them bawling their eyes out over the nightmares they had. he panics but takes comfort in how they still grip to his shirt, face in his chest, seeking his comfort

therapy becomes a regular thing after that

kaminari finds more focus in his life

and as those helpful sessions go on, kaminari finds the twins beginning to open up more and more

they all sleep together now bc cuddle piles always scare the bad dreams away

the boy starts asking for kaminari to help him pick out his outfits

and the girl starts asking him about his quirk

it’s small things like that that lead up to things like this:

they’re in the midst of playing tickle monster when they scream with laughter, “stop! stop, daddy, you caught us!”

the twins stare at him in confusion (and slight worry) when he scoops them up and cries like he broke his leg or something

they got two huge scoops of ice cream that night so they don’t question it

dad jokes are a must

he wears typical dad outfits like hawaiian shirts, cargo shorts, and flip flops

he calls them his “little rockstars” and yes, it’s still embarrassing

kaminari is a playful dad who doesn’t really take things too seriously

his children are always laughing at his dumb jokes and are never afraid to talk to him about anything that crosses their minds

although, they won’t talk to him about love interests bc he likes to play match maker

the last time his daughter told him about some girl she was crushing on, she found out she left her a personally signed chargebolt poster for the girl in her name

kaminari called it a little boost in spirit

her brother found it funny

she was horrified

kaminari swears up and down he’s the cool dad. his kids think otherwise, but their friends LOVE how much of a jokester he is. and he lets them stay up at sleepovers

plus, he’s literally chargebolt

how could they not love him?

denki has a little trouble being serious when he needs to be, but he has good kids so it’s not that much of a problem

there was that one time his son tried to help him during a villain attack. even though kaminari ordered him to get to safety, he didn’t and ended up getting hurt

the twins had never seen their father so angry. it was kind of scary. however, in the next moment, he gathered them up in a big hug and made them swear not to scare him like that again

overall, kaminari is the sweet, fun loving, dad that everyone wishes they had

Bakugo Katsuki:

katsuki became a father the day he found a baby and a note at his doorstep

the note read: “surprise! you’re a dad. i gave you all the legal rights, but you can place her up for adoption if you want.”

least to say, bakugo was pissed

he was even more pissed at himself for getting someone so cold and unloving pregnant

however, he decides to put the baby up for adoption. he cant take care of a baby! he’s at the height of his career. he can basically taste the number one hero spot on his tongue

he’s dead set w the decision, but as he stands outside of the orphanage, he freezes. he just can’t move

bakugo looks down at his daughter as she opens her eyes for the first time. he sees an identical pair of red eyes that make his chest tight with a feeling he hasn’t experienced in a long time

he turns back around and heads back home. it’s easily the best decision he’s ever made in his life

ngl though, growing into the dad role for bakugo was tough

before the girl, he only ever had to think of himself. he was still used to doing everything on his own time and for his own benefit. so being forced to put 100% of his attention to a small helpless human being was not easy

katsuki admits that the first couple of years weren’t his proudest. he was still short tempered, angry with the world, and frustrated bc he felt like his life was ruined

one time, the frustration and sleep deprivation would hit him all at once and he’d just start going off at the baby to just “shut the hell up!” before breaking down and crying with her

it was a dark moment for him, and yet, even after that, his little girl still curled up in his arms to rest when the tears tired her out

it had been a while since he felt unconditional love like that, and so he decided to change for the baby’s sake

you cant tell me that little girl isn’t spoiled rotten

bakugo is a hardass, but he’s all bark no bite. no matter what, he just can’t resist his little girl’s puppy dog eyes

he’s a girl dad to the t

yes he played the princess that needed saving from the big bad dragon. what about it?

his daughter is a firecracker. she started sassing him as soon as she could gargle

he pretends he hates it but his daughter is lowkey funny asl

they go at it when they fight. bakugo’s learned to be a little more patient, but he still has a bit of a temper and it doesn’t mix well when his mini-me has the same explosive anger

is the kind of dad that says sorry by asking her what she wants for dinner

they totally talk mess about other heroes together. he ignores the fact that she admires deku as long as she keeps it to herself

emotional talks are...awkward, but he forces himself through it

she finds it embarrassing (yet oddly endearing) that he got kicked out of a PTA club meeting for threatening to light up some mom for saying the art program didn’t matter

his daughter absolutely won’t talk to him about potential love interests unless she wants them coming up missing

bakugo won’t admit to watching baby videos of his daughter when he sends her off to U.A. and no, he didn’t cry, he got dust in his eye

doesn’t bother her too much, but jumps for his phone when he hears her ringtone

kirishima says he getting soft, but that’s just his little princess

[emsvegetables]

Hello!! first, I wanted to tell you that your med student hcs were literally SO good they really hit home for me. I I was also wondering if I could ask for hcs of Kuroo, Matsukawa, and Hanamaki who are stuck at home with their s/o? Like, who goes insane first? How do they pass time? Also, if they're in college, how many times do they also go to class online? Thank you so much!!!

omg anon this request WAS SO FUN TO WRITE thank you for requesting this :-)!!!!!

Kuroo:

* STUCK IN QUARANTINE WITH THIS MAN???

* That’s my dream lmaoooo

* N E WAYS

* He’s so EXCITED he gets to be in quarantine with you!!!!

* Like, even though the both of you share the apartment and are dating, it’s very hard to actually spend time with you, with the both of you being in different courses in college after all.

* So spending time with you??? He’s so happy.

* Before the quarantine really goes into effect, he’s insisting that the both of you have to go get some groceries.

* BC HE KNOWS THAT YOUR LAZY ASS WONT LEAVE THE HOUSE ONCE THE QUARANTINE STARTS LMAOOOO

* He’s always making breakfast for you in the morning!!!! LIKE???? This man is husband material 10/10.

* If you aren’t awake by the time he’s plated the food, he runs into the room and carries you out.

* There was once he dropped you on the floor but we don’t talk about that.

* When you guys have lessons on???? The both of you are in separate rooms bc you’re too distracting to him.

* But you bet that if you have a call going on and he doesn’t, he’s creeping beside you and saying some weird ass stuff to distract YOU.

* There was one time this asshole came into the room saying,” are you made of Fluorine, Iodine and Neon? Cause you’re F-I-Ne!” while your mike was on.

* BRUH your whole class literally started laughing at you.

* Even the professor GIGGLED.

* At this point Kuroo’s face is the shocked pikachu one.

* BC HE DIDNT KNOW YOUR MIKE WAS ON ORIRIIFIDIFJFJDIOW

* And ofc you get back at him during one of his lessons later on during that day.

* He’s focusing on the teacher and writing down notes onto his notebook when you hear the teacher ask him a question.

* You’re like: ITS GO TIME BABY.

* When Kuroo unmutes himself to answer the question, you’re pressing a quick kiss onto his neck and biting down on it.

* “The answer to the question is—ah shit baby it’s going to be like that?”

* RIRKFKFK THE WHOLE CLASS GOES SILENT THEN.

* Then Kuroo realises what just came out of his mouth and YOU bet this is the first time you’ve seen him so embarrassed.

* HAHAHAHAHA

* His teacher just keeps quiet for a moment; before asking another student the same question and completely ignoring Kuroo for the rest of the call.

* REIOFDO YOU BET HE’S GOING TO TICKLE YOU UNTIL YOU CRY FOR THAT and maybe do something else that’ll make you REALLY CRY.

* Tbh the both of you love each other so much, and there’s never a boring moment with Kuroo in quarantine.

* He keeps you on your toes, and you keep him on his, so you’re actually not bored or tired of him in quarantine!!!!

* But when he sees that you’re getting a little fidgety and tense, he’s immediately suggesting something that the both of you don’t do usually.

* Like BAKING???? He’s happily making cinnamon rolls with you and dancing with you in the kitchen to some weird song.

* Or he’s playing WII with you, and the both of you make so much noise the neighbours come over and ask you politely if you could...”make love a little quieter” DOROFOFIFIFIEIEI

* So none of you go insane because this man just KNOWS how to handle you!!!

Matsukawa:

* AHHH THIS IS PT 2 OF MY DREAM

* ANYWAYS

* This guy??? He’s such a sweet man.

* When he realises quarantine is going to go into effect, he’s dragging you out to buy some essentials for your lockdown.

* He’s making sure to buy at least some healthy snacks and vegetables to make sure you stay healthy during this time period!!!!!

* OKAY LETS BE REAL this guy is the one that takes care of the other in the relationship.

* He’s making sure you go to sleep at the time you should be in bed, and hauls your ass to bed if you refuse to do so.

* But his cuddles are very soothing so you fall asleep VERY quickly.

* But if you really can’t sleep??? He’s staying up to talk to you about anything that comes into your mind.

* He’s also making sure you eat!!!! He’ll make lunch for you if he sees that you overslept and missed breakfast.

* If you want to bake, he’s trying his best to help you, but this man can only give you the ingredients bc for some reason he SUCKS at baking.

* He tries baking cupcakes for you in the middle of your lessons one day and the cupcakes were all droopy and uncooked. SO LESSON LEARNT.

* SPEAKING OF LESSONS:

* Tbh he knows not to distract you in the middle of lessons, so he’s either in another room during your lessons or he’s quietly resting his head on your thighs.

* BUT.

* You’re totally different.

* You make it a point to disrupt his lessons all the time, always asking for cuddles in the middle of his lessons and asking for kisses as well!!!

* He just sighs at you when you come crawling towards him while he’s writing down notes, and just opens his arms to allow you to crawl into his lap.

* THERE WAS ONCE where you were cuddling him and the teacher asked him to answer a question, so he turned on his mike and camera, and then he hears a loud gasp.

* “Matsukawa! What are you doing?”

* YOU WERE SITTING ON HIS LAP AND FACING THE BACK WHAT DID IT LOOK LIKE YOU WERE DOING

* “IM SORRY MISS!”

* DIORIRRIRKRK when he hears you laugh, you bet he’s going to punish you later 👀😎

* But as much as the both of you love to spend time with each other...do you know who goes insane first??

* YOU.

* You need to go outside!!!!!

* Mattsun notices how you’re getting all tense, and he’s trying his best to take your mind out of it.

* He’s asking you to exercise with him, and it often leads to OTHER THINGS HAHAHA

* And he plays some random two player online games with you!!!!!!

* “(Y/N) NO FAIR YOU HIT ME!”

* In other words, being stuck with Mattsun in quarantine is a fun thing!!!

* You go insane but he’s there to perk you up!!!!!

Hanamaki:

* PART THREE OF MY DREAM!!!!

* This man :””)

* Tbh you’re 90% of his impulse control, so when the both of you split up to buy the essentials you need during quarantine, this boy comes back with potato chips and all the unhealthy snacks.

* But you can never say no to him so you buy those in the end :(

* This guy is amazing to be with, but it’s pretty obvious YOU’RE going to be the one taking care of him during quarantine.

* You’ll have to tell him it’s 12am and it’s time to sleep and to stop watching Rosemarie being disgusted with Ed.

* You’ll have to tell him, no, eating potato chips does NOT count as lunch.

* But sometimes he’s so damn convincing he’s pulling you into his lap to continue watching 90 day fiancé, and he’s feeding you the chips with a kiss to your lips.

* He’s trying out all those weird quarantine things that he saw on youtube with you LOLOLOL

* He got so bored that at one point he got into tiktok and made a video that went viral.

* But then he logged out bc he was BORED of Tiktok so...

* N E WAYS

* He goes to sleep late every night, but he somehow wakes up entirely refreshed for his lessons the next morning?????

* And you don’t disrupt him during his lessons, usually just reading quietly beside him or watching the television in the living room.

* But this little shit loves to bother you in the middle of lessons.

* BRUH HE SCARED YOU while you were trying to answer the question the teacher asked.

* You screamed into the mike and the teacher jumped.

* “(Y/N)! I asked you to answer a question, not murder my ears!”

* “Sorry miss!!!!!!”

* And when you hear Makki laugh after you mute yourself again, you instantly formulate a plan to murder him.

* But then, you thought, LETS MESS WITH THIS SHIT.

* So the next time he has lessons, you’re quietly reading beside him, and you casually place a hand on his thigh, which slowly moves up as the lesson goes on.

* He doesn’t notice at first, but when your hands brush dangerously close to where mini Makki is, he’s groaning.

* When the teacher calls Makki to answer a question, you grin.

* ITS YOUR TURN SUCKA

* You’re softly pressing against it when he unmutes himself, and he lets out a low, guttural groan, which the entire class hears.

* “Hanamaki, are you alright?”

* “Yes, Miss—“

* He GROANS again when you press a little harder.

* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SUCK IT.

* Iwaizumi’s in this zoom call, and you know he KNOWS what’s going on, based on the disgusted look on his face.

* Hanamaki somehow manages to answer the question, and when he mutes himself, he’s shooting you a smile and telling you that you’re in trouble.

* YOU REALLY WERE RIFIFIFKRK

* In the end, you’re the one going insane.

* BC YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH MAKKI’s shit every day.

* Not that you don’t love him, but caring for this man who doesn’t know what a healthy sleeping schedule is making you MAD.

* But he’s a GOD in the kitchen, and he’s making you these exquisite meals with the little groceries you have that you ALWAYS forget about how you’re slowly spiraling into insanity whenever you take a bite into the food.

* HES THAT GOOD.

* He makes you forget about all your troubles with a nice massage on the couch while the both of you watch 90 day fiancé together! :)!!!

hope you like, anon!!!!! :-)

[greekletters]

I'm oddly productive this week..

Prompt: You Forgot to Say the Magic Word

--------------

“I don’t know why you insisted on coming with me if you are just going to complain the entire time.”

“Well, I thought this was going to be a lot more exciting than it appears to be. You’ve always seemed to enjoy it immensely, so I wanted to come with you.”

“Weiss, not once have you ever expressed any interest in doing the grocery shopping.”

“That is untrue. I have gotten things from the store for us many, many times.”

“You had your assistant deliver it to the house. I doubt you even know how to get here on your own without GPS.”

“Now that’s just rude, and I am not complaining.” Blake stops in her place and stares blankly at Weiss.

“You literally just went on a five minute rant in the car about how you couldn’t believe they expected you to use a communal cart to place your food in.”

“It is a valid concern for our safety.” Weiss sticks her nose up in the air while pulling her hand sanitizer from her bag.

Blake shakes her head, holding her hand out because she knows Weiss will make her take it regardless of whether or not she wanted any hand sanitizer.

“Wait! Don’t touch that.” Weiss says abruptly, causing Blake to jump.

“The handle of the cart? It doesn’t move on it’s own, you know.” Rolling her eyes. “And you need to chill out or I’m going to make you go sit in the car.”

This was going to be a test of will for Blake. She could already tell. Never again would she grocery shop on the weekend. For fear of Weiss wanting to come with.

“Fine.�� Weiss begins to wander the immediate area, browsing with suspicion. “How do you know what we have to get?”

“I make a list of what I would like to cook every week, and the stuff we eat. That way I don’t have to wander around the store like a lost puppy looking for food.”

“Are you saying that I look like a lost animal?” She looks across a stack of fruit at Blake, eagerly awaiting her response.

“No, but you do look like a snooty rich lady that has never done her own grocery shopping before. And like all the food is covered in disease.” Grabbing some bags from the stand nearby, Blake begins placing some different items in bags and putting them in the cart. Marking them off the list on her phone as she goes.

“What is on our list?” Weiss leans over, curiously trying to eye the screen.

“You know,” putting the phone back in her pocket “I shared this note with you and it’s been on your phone since the first time I went shopping for us.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I would’ve noticed.”

“I’m dead serious. Check.” Motioning towards the phone in Weiss’ hand.

Quickly unlocking the phone screen, she navigates to the notes app. Sure enough, she finds it in the shared folder. ‘Blake and Weiss’ Grocery List’ last updated yesterday around eight.

“Ah. I see.” Clearing her throat. “Why do you share it with me, if I never come shopping?”

“So if there is anything you want that I didn’t put on the list, you can add it?” Blake says, like it’s totally obvious.

“Well, good to know.” Straightening her posture and walking a few steps away through an aisle with vegetables, Weiss reopens the list and reads down it.

It seems highly organized. Which she expected nothing less from Blake. It appeared to go in order of the sections of the store. And it contained almost every single thing they kept in the house.

Weiss had never really spent much time thinking about it before. She had always been privileged enough, too privileged, that she hadn’t ever had to do her own shopping. Or cooking for that matter. Blake did all of it. Mostly. They did go out on occasion.

Continuing to scroll, Weiss notices a lot of food on the list is required to make various different meals. But there are a few single items like snack foods or random out of place items. Taking her chances, she adds her favorite flavor ice cream to the list and closes the app.

Blake continues to shop, seemingly unaware of the addition.

“Hey Weiss, which one of these looks better?” Holding up two tomatoes for Weiss to compare.

“They’re both red.”

“I know that.” Shaking her head back and forth. “Which one looks better though?”

“In what way? They both look dirty.” Weiss grimaces when Blake attempts to hand them to her.

“I know. I wash them before we eat them. But if you are going to come grocery shopping, you have to participate in the shopping part. It’s a requirement.”

“The one on your right, I guess. The other one has a bruise on it. And I don’t want to eat it.” Her face scrunches.

“See? It’s not difficult at all.”

“You do this every week?”

“Every other week.”

“Too stressful.”

“Buying the food we eat?” The mild look of unamused disbelief on Blake’s face is very telling.

“Picking which ones to get, making the list, coming here and touching the dirty cart. I don’t know how you manage to do it.” Shaking her head disapprovingly.

“Because we need to eat, and if you were to die of starvation I would be sad. Because I like you a little bit. Now, push the cart.” Blake walks off down an aisle, leaving Weiss behind with the cart full of fruits and vegetables wrapped perfectly in individual plastic bags.

After a few seconds of flailing, trying to figure out how to push the cart without actually touching it, Weiss gives up and begins to make her way towards Blake down the aisle.

Blake is looking at the list on her phone as she absentmindedly places a few items in the cart and continues to move forward.

“Do you want me to make pasta this week?” She looks back over her shoulder at Weiss, who is overwhelmed by the number of various items on the shelves.

“What?”

“Pasta. Do you want any kind of pasta this week, or no?”

“That’s fine.” She grabs a blue box off the shelf, eyeing it oddly. “There’s macaroni and cheese inside this box?”

“Yes?” Not sure if Weiss is asking a trick question.

“How?”

“I’m not exactly sure what you mean by that.”

“How can there possibly be macaroni and cheese in here? The box would be soggy. Is it in a bag or something?” The look of pure concern on Weiss’ face is enough to break Blake’s stoic expression. And she begins laughing.

“Are you for real?”

“I don’t see what is so funny.” She stops pushing the cart and places her hands on her hips.

“You’re hilarious. That’s what’s funny.” Blake grabs the front end of the cart and pulls it along behind her.

“At least answer my question, since you feel like laughing at me.”

“There is macaroni and cheese in the box, Weiss. You have to cook the pasta and then mix the cheese into it. It doesn’t come already prepared.”

“Oh.” Feeling dumb for not thinking of that, she grabs the handle and continues her duty of pushing the cart.

Weiss continues following Blake with the cart as her eyes are trained on the list. They make their way down a few more aisles before coming closer to the frozen section. Blake looks down the aisle but continues right past it.

“We don’t need to go down this one?” Weiss asks, knowing that it’s where the ice cream is.

“Nope. Nothing from the list is down there.” Blake hears a small whine coming from Weiss’ end of the cart and smiles.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Now come on, we have to get some other things before we can go.”

Huffing, and annoyed about not getting the ice cream that she added to the list, Weiss follows Blake once again, this time towards the dairy and meat sections. After about five minutes of silence and cold shoulder, Blake turns back towards Weiss.

“Okay, what has you grouchy now?” Raising an eyebrow as she questions.

“Nothing.” Weiss crosses her arms over her chest.

“Uh huh. Sure. Is there anything we are missing from the list?” Testing Weiss to see how stubborn she was willing to be.

“Don’t you have the list?” Weiss asks, passive aggressively.

“I do. But I think I got everything. I was just asking you, just in case.” Leaving the option open for Weiss to say anything if she wanted to.

They pass by the end of the frozen food aisle once again. Weiss looks longingly down towards the ice cream.

“You’re absolutely sure?” Blake asks one more time, smile on her face.

“Fine!” Weiss stomps her foot and walks down the aisle by herself and slings the freezer door open and looks into the cold storage container in front of her.

After a few moments of searching, Weiss hears the wheels of the cart making their way down the aisle.

“You have no idea what kind of ice cream we eat, do you?”

“I put it on the list.” She says defiantly.

“I saw.”

“How?” She looks out of the corner of her eye at Blake.

“Any time you make a change to the note, I get notified.”

“Can you just grab the ice cream so we can go? I’m freezing.”

“You forgot to say the magic word.” Blake’s sheepish grin makes Weiss roll her eyes.

“Please?”

“Okay.” Weiss leans over and places a kiss to her cheek just before she reaches in the freezer and grabs the ice cream and tosses it in the cart. “Can you mark it off the list for me?”

“I have no idea how to do that.” Weiss shrugs her shoulders and takes her place to push the cart once again.

The only thing Blake can do is smile and shake her head as she taps the little circle next to ‘ice cream for Weiss’ on the list.

[kisskissbanggang]

California Sunrise

[~20 Min. Read, ~4.5K Words -- Mystery Member 👀 x Female Reader -- Non-Idol AU -- Romance, NSFW, 1/2 Fluff, 1/2 Smut -- Spoilers in tags, summer romance, drinking, exhibitionism, cockwarming]

[Prompt "Champagne Giggles" for neowritingsnet Summer Writing Fest]

By now, you weren't sure if you couldn't fall asleep, or wouldn't fall asleep. Surely, it wasn't the summer heat keeping you up, since the ocean air cooled down considerably at night. It couldn't be the bed; it was the most comfortable thing you'd ever slept on. Perhaps it was the noise. The light and the noise. It was never completely dark here like it was back home, and never totally quiet.

Sitting up, you rifled through your pile of clothes that had taken up residence on the desk chair beside the bed and pulled out a hoodie. You weren't quite sure why you were tip-toeing through the living room of the condo -- your aunt would be working at the newsroom until well after the morning broadcast. A set of keys sat on the kitchen counter with a loving note offering to let you borrow the car, and this was the first time you had felt confident enough at all to take that opportunity.

It was only day three that you were in Malibu at your aunt's place. You wanted to take the summer before your graduation to truly relax, maybe scope out some grad schools while you were out here. The culture shock was huge, beginning from your landing at the Santa Barbara airport. Your aunt had her own cute little sign for you at baggage claim, squealing with delight at seeing you for the first time in years, but she was a whole other person on the freeway, expertly ducking in and out of traffic and unflinching when other drivers honked or flipped her off. You had spent the first couple days getting used to her gorgeous condo (that you had affectionately been calling the Malibu Barbie Beach Retreat) and getting shown around town, but you still hadn't been able to fall asleep, beginning from night one. Now your aunt was back at work, and you needed to get out of here and work out some of this energy. Maybe all you needed was a change of scenery.

You carefully climbed into the gorgeous sports car housed in the parking garage downstairs. The condo was in pristine condition, as was your aunt's own car, but this particular vehicle was in desperate need of some love and attention. Then again, why should she care for the car she valiantly won in the divorce? After all she'd been through, the least she could get was a fat wad of cash and the asshole's beloved car. So now here you were, trying to familiarize yourself with this hilariously nice ride just so you could bop around town with no real objective. Finally content with the mirrors and controls, you backed out of the space, picked a direction, and drove.

How did it figure, then, that of anywhere in the city you could end up, that you were sitting on the curb in front of a gas station convenience store? You sighed and thanked the one kind old man who had offered to help tow you off the busy main road and help replace your flat tire, insisting on giving him the sparse bills in your wallet for his trouble. However, a lack of cash made you antsy and this whole adventure was quickly turning into a bruise on your ego, so you poked into the convenience store to buy a couple snacks and a comically large slushie with your atm card. With cash in your wallet and some comfort food in your arms, you were feeling a little better as you headed out the entrance -- that is, you would be if it weren't for the stranger colliding with you in the doorway, upending your gigantic drink all over your school hoodie. You felt the giant blue patch all over your (thankfully) black pullover before you saw it, looking up to see an appropriately horrified guy looking back at you.

"Oh -- oh my god, I am so sorry, holy crap--"

"No no, it's fine." You put your hand up to stop his babbling. You felt bad. He'd be cute if you had time and this wasn't some random encounter, his handsome features making him look a bit like a cute owl.

"Are you sure? The least I can do is buy you a new one--"

"Thank you, truly, but no thank you. It's just one of those nights; no big deal."

You stepped around the guy, out the door into the night air that blasted the wet patch on your hoodie to be freezing cold. You beeped open the car, piled the snacks into the driver's seat and stripped off your sticky top layer. The t-shirt you had on underneath hadn't been so lucky: a giant blue stain was setting in on the white cotton. You attempted to pat it dry the best you could with your damp sweatshirt. Sighing, you caught the eye of the guy still in the gas station, now in line for the cashier. He still looked appalled. Maybe you made this one of "those nights" for him, too, now. You pulled on your best smile and shrugged for him, tried to wordlessly let him know there were no hard feelings as you flipped all your snacks into the passenger seat and climbed in.

After you pondered and considered what to do with your ruined shirt, you sat in the living room looking out over the balcony, munching on snacks and sipping on coffee until sunrise.

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The next night it was the same story. You thought spending the daylight hours going on an adventure to get a new set of rear tires for the car, as well as supplies to tie-dye your stained shirt, would tire you out, but to no avail. This time, you took a different series of random turns and wound up at a corner store, renting a couple movies from the kiosk outside and loading up on more snacks for the night. You considered the cheap snowglobes across from the register as you waited for the cashier, genuinely considering a cute little one with a beach scene. The cashier called you up and you turned, gasping and glad you didn't have another drink in your hands as you turned back around and right into a stranger's chest.

"You're kidding, right? I can't be this unlucky for you," the stranger laughed. Your eyes widened as you let out giggle. The guy from last night? The chances were miniscule, but here he was. "Can I at least buy you a new drink now?"

You shook your head. "Thank you, but no thank you. I'll tell you what, though. If I run into you again you can get me a whole damn bottle of champagne. Deal?"

The stranger smiled wide and nodded. "Deal."

You returned his warm smile, giving a little wave after you paid the cashier and strolled out the door.

Returning to the Malibu Barbie Beach Retreat, you sat on the balcony, watching movies and snacking until surfers started arriving down the street for the breaks at dawn.

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Surely this would help you sleep. A late, midnight dinner in a diner you found would hopefully weigh your stomach down and help you get tired. You checked your relefction in your phone screen, noting you were starting to get some regrettable circles under your eyes. You were shaken out of your little bubble at the sound of something touching down on your table. Your food!

Or not.

A small bottle of champagne.

You swung your gaze up to find, sure enough, your faithful stranger pretending to sigh in exasperation at the edge of your table. "Turns out I can't even hit up my favorite diner without running into you, I guess." He laughed and gestured to the empty seat across you and, still a little stunned, you nodded.

"How do I know you're not just following me and you're actually going to kill me?"

The guy smiled. "You don't. But I can assure you right now that that's way too much work for me and I'm sure you're much cuter alive than dead."

You breezed past his sly compliment. "And the champagne?"

He shrugged. "I called your bluff and bought it right after I saw you last night. Just had it sitting in my car and, sure enough, here you are."

The waitress came with your food greeted him by name, confirming his claim. "Taeil." He only asked for coffee and a couple glasses.

"So, Taeil," you prodded, "what were you up to last night?"

"The last couple nights you caught me when I got off work. Or, rather, I caught you. I was just heading to the gym last night when I saw you. What about you?"

"Couldn't sleep." You sheepishly admitted.

"Hey, me neither! That's why I started working nights."

The waitress came back with coffee and a couple water glasses. Taeil grabbed the bottle of champagne and opened it, pouring you both a glass. He raised one to you.

"What are we toasting to?" You asked as you grabbed the other.

"How about you having a better vacation with some actual sleep?"

"Vacation?" You braced, ready to run if this cute guy turned out to be a creep. So many charming ones usually tended to, in your experience.

Taeil shrugged. "You were wearing a school hoodie the other night. And last night you were looking at the snowglobes, which -- sorry -- only tourists do."

"Fair enough."

You clinked glasses and drank as you talked. Taeil went to school during the day, pursuing a Masters in Choral Conducting. At night, he worked at a bookstore and cafe across town. You talked to him about school, about how you weren't entirely sure what you wanted to do after undergrad, but more than anything you wanted to find a better fit for you than your hometown.

"Well," Taeil wondered as he stroked his chin, "there's a lot you should try out in California before you decide you like it here. You've seen the sunrise by now, and a few sunsets. Have you been stuck in traffic yet?" He chuckled as you nodded heartily. "Of course, you've been to the beach."

You nodded again, eagerly telling him about your first day in town, how you immediately dragged your aunt the couple blocks to the beach. You hadn't been to the beach since you were a small child, and it was surreal to see the water beyond the surf stretch out to the horizon. Taeil listened intently, wanting to understand what it must be like to not grow up near the ocean air. "What's one thing you think I should do before I decide if I want to stay?"

"I think you should try going on a date." He smiled warmly after finishing another cup of coffee.

Intrigued, you raised an eyebrow. "With you?"

Taeil shrugged nonchalantly. "With anyone, but I was hoping with me."

Your heart leapt in your chest. You were never with anyone this open and up-front before, let alone acting like that yourself. However, you had to admit it was exciting. Something about Taeil made you feel like a whole new person. There was an odd sense of intervening fate permeating the air. You noticed a streak of orange wash over the back of your hand and you looked out the window, noticing how the sun was already rising. Taking Taeil's hand on the table, you returned his smile. "Let's make a deal," you offered, "if I see you again, you'll get me another glass of champagne and you'll get a date."

"Deal."

You pushed your empty plate out of the way and left a few bills on the table before leaning across to tentatively, delicately, uncharacteristically and impulsively place a kiss on Taeil's lips, lingering as long as he would let you and as long as you could stand before you changed your mind and stayed in this booth. "Goodnight, Taeil."

"Good morning," he replied, smitten as he watched you grab your things and walk out into the slowly growing sunlight.

Back at the condo, you hummed to yourself as you cooked breakfast for your aunt when she returned from the newsroom. She had no idea about Taeil. In fact, she would probably be thrilled if she knew, seeing as she'd been suggesting you try going on a date or two while you were here. However, it was fun to have secrets every one in a while, since you never had much a need for them.

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A couple nights had gone past and no sign of Taeil. No amount of gas stations, diners, or bookstores turned up any results. Maybe fate wasn't on your side after all. Barring any chance of ever hanging out with him again, you resorted to an old tactic that helped you sleep back at school: exercise. Now, the community gym at the condo wasn't open all night, so you would have to go the dreaded route of getting a temporary membership somewhere. Fair enough, you figured, if it meant getting some sleep. You grabbed your backpack along with some workout gear and perused your options out on the road. Ultimately, you decided on an older establishment that was open all night.

After warming up with a quick jog on the treadmill, you got set up on the rowing machine on an easier setting than normal since it'd been a while. You were content that despite the convenient hours, the gym was virtually empty. It was easy to find yourself regularly distracted. Did Taeil even want to run into you by now? You astounded yourself that you came across such a ridiculous idea. For all you knew, Taeil was going crazy trying to find you, too. You lost yourself in thinking about your one clandestine kiss, how forward and reserved he seemed at the same time. This was the hundredth time you'd daydreamed about it since, the thought always inevitably turning to what else Taeil's lips might be capable of. You shook yourself out of it and concentrated on your breath, using the low music in your headphones for pace when you were startled by what you could've sworn was the sound of someone sputtering out water. You looked up, instantly surprised and elated as you locked eyes with Taeil from where he stood in the loft where the free weights were, wiping his mouth dry and setting his water bottle down. Springing to your feet, you had the distinct sensation of being 15 again and meeting your homecoming date as you ran to meet Taeil as he flew down the stairs. You collided at the foot of the stairwell, your excitement pushing you up and into his arms, your lips against his. You leaned back, bashful at your accidental eagerness until Taeil gave a breathless chuckle and pulled you close to do it again. You quickly ducked into the hall leading to the locker rooms right off the stairwell.

"Where's my champagne?" You giggled into his kiss.

"In the car. I didn't think I'd see you again," he murmured against you, "I was looking for you--"

"I was, too." You pulled back, gazing into his hooded eyes, giddy as he seemed excited by your admission. "Is this dumb? This whole thing?"

Taeil nodded earnestly, his arms wrapped around your waist, almost as if he'd been doing it for years. "Absolutely. But I'm enjoying myself too much to stop." He kissed your cheeks, your lips, your nose. "Not to mention I've been daydreaming about you since I last saw you."

You raised your arms to wrap around his neck, your fingertips feeling the sweat he'd been working up. "Good," you grinned, "me, too. Daydreaming about what?"

Taeil didn't let your lips drift further away, always eagerly following you. "About how fun you are. How pretty you are." He leaned in, brazenly kissing you deeply and holding back a groan as you gladly reciprocated. "... And it looks like I was right to think about how much I want you. What about you? What have you been daydreaming about?"

You bit at your lip. "I've been thinking about how nice you are," you nuzzled your nose to his, occasionally brushing your lips together and savoring his small shiver, "and how exciting this is... How excited you make me." You were convinced your face was beet red by now but didn't have a chance to ask Taeil as you noticed he had leaned back, almost deep in thought as his eyes ran over you.

"I make you excited?" He asked quietly. You briskly nodded. A sly smile spread across Taeil's face for just a moment before he pulled you in, his lips on yours before you finally felt his tongue bravely probe into you. You gladly accepted, unable to hold in a small moan that made Taeil tense against you. He grew bolder, pushing open the door to the women's locker room beside you and practically sending you both flying into it.

Taeil led you down the twisting maze of lockers, his tongue unable and unwilling to leave your mouth until he laid you down on a bench. He gently spread your legs to climb in between them, his lips meandering from your lips to your cheek to your ear, down to your neck where he held you firmly as the sensation made you squirm. You watched, entranced as Taeil kissed and nipped down your chest, his fingers crawling under your shirt. His searching hands gently groped you, almost faltering every time you softly moaned until the locker room door creaked open.

Fighting to stifle your laughter, you slid out from under Taeil and, grabbing his hand, pulled him into a shower stall and turned on the water. By sheer luck, you'd picked the accessible stall and had plenty of room to dodge the spray as you pulled him close, making quick work of grabbing his shirt and pulling it up over his head and tossing it over the shower curtain rod. For just a moment, you waited for the sound of a second shower to turn on while you admired his toned chest and taut stomach, your wandering hands drawing his attention for just a second until he regained focus.

Taeil kicked off his shoes and leaned down, tugging off his socks and pushing them to the side before reaching for your shoes as well. Your shoes joined his and Taeil gazed up at you, taking his time as he slid his warm hands up one of your legs. You sucked in a breath, trembling as he patiently pulled down your shorts and removed them. He looked to you again, waiting for a nod of approval before he gently pulled down your panties next, throwing the items over the shower curtain rod as well and pulling a laugh out of both of you. Watching Taeil admire your pussy made you blush all over, every nerve in your body on fire as you waited for his next move. You closed your eyes and leaned your head back against the cool tile wall, an involuntary gasp escaping you as Taeil tentatively licked into your glistening lips. The gentle roll of your hips in response emboldened his tongue, diving forward again to taste and savor you.

You bit into your lip hard until you heard the shower turn off, and it was an excruciating wait. You'd been eaten out before, but never with this much patience and attention. Taeil gradually slipped a finger inside you, his thrusts methodical as he playfully smiled up at you. You clapped a hand over your mouth to swallow your moans, well aware of the glistening drips trailing down your thighs and his chin from all his hard work. Finally, the echo of a locker closing and the door opening and shutting made you both let out a hearty sigh of relief.

"Good?" Taeil asked, dazed and almost drunk off you, off of this moment that neither of you figured you were capable of.

"Good." You assured, running your fingers through his hair to get a solid grip and leading his tongue back to your folds. You hooked a thigh up over his shoulder, your hips gladly following any tempo he set for you. Taeil deftly pumped his fingers into you as he worked his tongue against your soaked clit. Your legs shook, your heart racing as you knew your orgasm was coming. "Taeil," you pleaded, "make me cum."

"Absolutely," he panted against you, his tongue and fingers never stopping until you cried out, grinding onto his lips until your orgasm faded and you came back to earth.

Taeil sat back on his heels, obscenely pleased with himself as he rocked up onto his heels and grabbed your clothes. "What now?" He asked as he slipped his shirt on. You pulled him to you for a deep kiss, impressed with how you tasted on him.

"Take me home." You suggested. Taeil raised an eyebrow at you, the grin on his face loudly voicing his agreement.

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Taeil reclined with you on the chaise lounge out on the balcony of the condo, wrapped up together in a blanket and enjoying your glasses of champagne. The drive home had let your arousal taper off for the time being, though the thought of Taeil's gym clothes and soaked socks swirling with yours in the washing machine kept you giddy. It had taken just a second of convincing him that you'd be fine hanging out naked on the balcony. After all, it was well past midnight and you were covered up. You watched each other slowly undress in the dim living room, only illuminated by the moon hanging over the shore. Taeil was beautiful in a way you hadn't really considered guys before, only exaggerated by the way his gaze caressed every inch of your exposed skin.

You laid on the lounge, your legs tangled together and your head on his chest as he stroked your hair. "When do you go home?" He asked quietly.

"In a few days." You replied solemnly. "What'll we do? If you want to do anything, that is."

"Don't be a dummy," he laughed. "I don't know what we're doing, but we're doing the hell out of it. You can give me your number and I'll call you every day."

"Really?" You asked, humoring him.

"Or at least text you." He admitted.

"Good," you nodded, "you can send me pictures of what I'm missing. I can't believe I'm leaving the beach."

"Oh!" Taeil exclaimed, making you jump. "Before I forget--" he prodded you up and off his chest as he reached for his gym bag. He set something on the side table. The small, cheap, silly snowglobe.

You playfully punched him in the arm. "When?!"

He laughed and pulled you close again, wrestling for just a moment until you were laying on top of him. "Would you believe if I said that night at the corner store? When I bought the champagne, I turned back and grabbed it. I just couldn't decide if it was dumb to do or not.

"Absolutely," you nodded gravely, crumbling into a laugh as you kissed his momentarily astonished face, "but I love it. If you're not careful, I'm going to fall in love with you."

Taeil stared, his astonishment returned. You could see the moonlight shining in his widened eyes, dimming as the night slowly approached an end. "I'm glad to say the feeling is mutual."

Your train of thought barreled off the tracks, only brought back when you realized you felt Taeil's bare cock throb to attention against your thigh. You brought your lips to his, grazing against them. "What's mutual?" You whispered.

"The feeling is." He laughed quietly.

"Say it." You persisted, kissing him repeatedly and observing his cock throbbing with each one.

"If you're not careful I'm going to fall in love with you." He repeated, treading carefully as the soft head of his cock nudged up into the entrance of your pussy. "Or," he wondered aloud, "I already am but that sounds too dumb for me to believe it."

"It definitely sounds too dumb," you agreed with a smile, your hips easing down onto his length, accepting him into you with shallow thrusts and gasps. "But my feeling the same way leads me to think you might be onto something."

Your hips landed flush against his, his whole length nestled snugly inside you. You lay like that, not thrusting, not grinding, just laying together under the blanket.

"Well, then," Taeil wondered, his fingertips absently dancing up and down your back and shoulder blades, "maybe we are. For now. It doesn't have to be forever, but for now we are."

"Okay," you nodded confidently, "say it, then."

Taeil brushed your hair over your ear and cupped your face, his own eyes shining warmly in the night despite the dimming moonlight. "I love you." It was almost a whisper, but it sent echoes down your spine. "Your turn," he insisted.

"I love you, Taeil." You replied, your hips silently sneaking up on his length as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You let go for a kiss, suddenly realizing what your hips were up to as you slid down to meet his lips. You both let out a breathy moan as you moved. Taeil's hands drifted down your back to your hips and helped you find a rhythm together, quietly whispering your sweet revelations of affection for each other as you embraced.

You laid like that, slowly making love on the balcony as the night faded. You giggled and spoke sweet nothings to each other as you rocked your hips on top of him, wondering just how your vacation turned into this when you suddenly felt the light-headed sensation of an approaching orgasm yet again.

"Taeil," you whimpered, "I think I'm going to cum again. Do you want to make me cum again?"

"Oh god, yes," Taeil groaned, taking the chance to grab your shoulders and roll you both over. He adjusted the blanket so you were still covered before finding his own rhythm. You wrapped your legs around his hips and pulled him down, your lips finding his ear and moaning growing encouragement as he steadily thrust into you.

"Taeil," you gasped, "say it again."

"I love you," he strained, "I have no clue what happened or how, but I love you tonight, and I think I'll love you tomorrow and the next day, too."

"I'm glad to say the feeling is mutual," you laughed, well out of breath, "now please, please cum with me." Your orgasm swiftly approaching, you clutched tightly onto each other as Taeil's hips stuttered against you, filling you up with each thrust.

And you slept. You fell fast asleep in each other's arms, only awakened by the sound of your aunt dramatically screaming at the sight of you in Taeil's arms, sleeping naked on the balcony as she came home late that morning. You shared a laugh together and rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, suddenly more awake and alive than you had been all vacation.

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[beelsfeels]

A profile of my Obey Me OC, Shoshi! (Pronounced like Yoshi)

Picrew 1 Picrew 2

Name: Shoshi (short for Shoshana)

Age: 27

Pronouns: She/They

Sexuality: Bi

Height: 5′6″

Background: raised Jewish, got into Jewish Mysticism as an adult, began worshiping Lilith, and has Lilith's sigil tattooed beneath her bellybutton. She feels VERY awkward about it in the House of Lamentation.

Random HC: Namaah exists at RAD and is a totally hottie BAMF that Shoshi has a Huge Gay Crush on, to the point she can't really form cohesive thoughts around her, a fact that Satan and Asmodeus love to team up and exploit for the LOLs.

Summary: Horny-For-Yall Death-Wish with Crippling Anxiety. Copes with humor and memes. The ultimate self-insert.

Relationships with the brothers:

Lucifer:

- Shoshi and Lucy have a very complex relationship, she both admires and is intimidated by the eldest.

- Shoshi is a huge brat and it gets her in trouble a LOT with Lucifer. He goes easy on her though, which is good because her anxiety skyrockets when this man get That Look™️ when anyone is acting up.

- When Lucifer tried to intimidate her at Diavolo's weekend retreat while dancing, Shoshi straight up cussed him out and stormed off to the balcony to angry cry.

- Eventually had an argument so heated she wasn't sure if she was about to be murdered or have the best sex of her life.

- it was the latter

- they started casually dating after that, and Shoshi would often stay up late with Lucifer to keep him company while he does paperwork.

- Lucifer is very protective of her, and often walks her to each of her classes, a hand on her lower back. This draws many stares from the other students and becomes harder for her to make friends outside of the HoL.

- HC that Lucifer teaches one of her classes and she can NOT pay attention which earns her lots of after class "punishments"

- listen up, Morningstar

- "What did you just call me?"

- ::books it at high velocity towards wherever Diavolo is::

Mammon:

- Shoshi is his Ride or Die (Ride AND die more like) best friend.

- will destroy anyone who talks crap on the 2nd eldest.

- maybe a tiny human but WILL throw hands for his honor

- always ends in Mammon having to save her which is counterintuitive

- they share one (1) braincell when they are together and it's full of the literal worst ideas.

- snuggle buddies, Mammon won't admit he likes her out loud but will end up in her room Every Night that Lucifer hasn't already sanctioned her time.

- Jealous of her relationships with every other brother, but will tolerated a three way spoon with Beel since he's a walking teddy bear.

- "after this hare brained scheme we will have enough money to buy you a bigger bed"

- they never do

- invented a silent eye contact language for when Lucifer is lecturing them for hours about how irresponsible they have been.

Leviathan

-Leviachan! ::Jump hugs him::

-"Shoshi!! You can't just hug me without warning!"

-Levi is always having a heart attack around Shoshi either because she's flirting with him or she's absolutely crushing him at video games

-Shoshi would literally die for this boy, is absolutely in love with this Otaku king.

-she thinks it is unrequited until one night she's crushing him too hard at Mario Kart and he finds ways to... Distract her.

-Shoshi will protect Levi at all costs and he REALLY doesn't need her to, why does this human think she can take on everyone she's so bad at fighting.

-what that tail do?

-"please stop asking me that"

Satan

-fast burn enemies to lovers

-Satan does not appriciate Shoshi's humor, as it relates to him.

-"Shosh, do you want to study together tonight?"

-Not Today, Satan

-"Shoshi I brought you your homework"

-Hail Satan!

-Turns into her closest confidant

-lots of book reading, philosophical conversations, and wine nights

-Got Satan to join her in her morning yoga rituals to help with his wrath problem

-Loves going on dates with Satan, he's so upfront and honest, though not as affectionate as she would like

-she respects his personal space

-he lectures her on her "death wish" for all the times she says "fight me" unless it's to Lucifer then he buys her a new book or hands her a kitten he happened to have on hand.

-cat memes back and forth 24/7

-Her actual "first demon" 😉

-"You little brat" (that is a threat)

-she loves it

Asmodeus

- gossip girls

- weekly bath night, bubble bath, face masks, painting each other's nails

- Asmo gives her all the latest DevilDom gossip, and even when it's about people she doesn't know at all she will still chug that tea

- casual nakedness, don't pop into one of their hangouts if you're not ready for an eyeful

- Satan learned that the hard way

- Beel also did, but didn't mind as much

- has to literally put a ward on the door to keep Mammon from busting into Asmos room and dragging Shoshi out

- "no older brothers allowed" sign on the door.

- sneaks out to go clubbing, Shoshi doesn't drink much but she LOVES to dance

- "describe Lucifers abs to me, do not leave out any details"

- ASmo No! i don't want to die over some glorious abs!

- "excuse you, what would be a better way to die than that??"

- also has a secret language for when Lucifer lectures them, but it involves mostly puppy dog eyes and trying to guilt Lucifer into forgiving them

- has never worked once

Beel

- the most dramatic friendship 180 in the history of the DevilDom

- Shoshi thought he was an anger issues Jock who punches walls and threatens to eat her

- Well cannibal serial killers have stated on record that humans with tattoos don't taste that good so you probably shouldn't eat me

- can't believe that worked

- staying in his room after the kitchen incident and cuddling with him in bed, talking about the loss of their sisters, and how important family was, she realizes he was a soft boi that needed protected

- that night beel became her second demon 😉

- Shoshi loves cooking, so they cook together a lot, helping each other when they're in charge of meals

- Shoshi starts a vegetable and fruit garden outside the house of lamentation, teaching Beel how to grow food, which he takes to very well (after a few casualties of fully eaten tomato plants)

- this significantly helps the fridge situation at HoL, which all are grateful for

- the fridge checks, while occaisionally sexy, mostly actually involve Shoshi jumping at Beel to see if he will catch her (Brooklyn 99 gag style)

- "Beels what's your T-Shirt made of? Cause it feels like husband material"

- "oh, I think it's a demon cotton blend"

- I love you, my sweet Himbo.

Belphie

-Belphi take me to Majolish

-"No, I'm tired."

-Remember that one time you literally killed me

-"okay I'll be there in 5"

-Shoshi is the only one who could possibly out nap Belphie

-Beel/Belphie/ Shoshi cuddle puddles and snack nights.

-rarely hangs out with him alone because he did, in fact, murder her once

-They leave each other super soft pillows without notes or any context and it has turned into a rivalry to find the BEST pillow. Winner gets bragging and napping rights.

BONUS:

Diavolo

- You're my Dad! Boogie woogie woogie

- teaches him all the latest memes and dances

- No fear for this man, which disturbs and upsets pretty much everyone.

- one time Lucifer asked Shoshi to Please Stop asking the Prince of Demons for piggy back rides

- Shoshi told on Lucifer and in fact got MORE piggy back rides.

- They have Lucifer Imitation contests where they just say "Don't Dissapoint Diavolo" back and forth till one of them cracks up.

- Did not anticipate any sexy business with this Goliath Friend, but caught Luci and him smooching one time and one thing lead to another...

- Did not change their friendship at all, the Two Most Immature People In The Entire DevilDom

Solomon

- ::stranger danger siren goes off::

- I don't trust you Wizard boy

- Asmo said you can have a little rights, but you're on thin fucking Ice mister

- oh you got 72 demons? It'd be cooler if they were cats and dogs.

- only teams up with him for kareoke nights and other human themed activities because no one else understands

Things Shoshi has said without context:

"Why does everyone in this house have bigger titties than me"

"Lucifer took his gloves off and I almost passed out"

"I'm from the United States of America in the year of our Lord 2020, you can not scare me"

"It really do be YEET or be YEETED in this house, huh?"

"Mammon if you even look at that cat wrong I will round house kick you into the next century and claim my rightful place as second oldest"

[time-to-be-awesome]

A day in the life of Amy

Thursday 14th May 2020

Note - I know this is very long and I hope it doesn’t come across as self-obsessed. I was inspired by the Refinery29 Money Diaries which I find fascinating. I love getting a real insight into other people’s lives so maybe other people will find this interesting? Even if they don’t I know I’ll be glad to have this snapshot of this time in my life to look back on later.

I am 28 years old and live in Yorkshire, England. I live on my own in a rented 1 bedroom flat. I am a mental health social worker but have been working from home during lockdown. I am currently trying to lose weight and get fitter. This is a day in my life.

7:30am Alarm goes off. I spend a couple of minutes checking the BBC coronavirus morning update whilst I wake up. Have a big glass of chilled water and take my tablets for my underactive thyroid. I get dressed into workout leggings and a baggy t-shirt, put on a hoody and a light coat. I make a coffee in my travel mug.

8:00am I set off on my morning walk. The rules were changed this week so I can now exercise outside for an unlimited amount of time, whereas I was previously having to stick to once a day for about an hour. I am very lucky to live close to a big area of interconnected woods and fields that are public access. People have been painting stones and leaving them along the side of the footpaths. There are new ones almost every day, and other people move them to make it a sort of treasure hunt. There isn’t a cloud in the sky and I feel my spirits lift immediately as I walk in the sun and drink my coffee. I listen to the birdsong and as I get to a remote patch of brambles I walk very slowly and quietly. I’m rewarded with the sight of 12 wild rabbits grazing and hopping about before they inevitably spot me and scurry away.

8:50am I get back home. I tracked the walk on the Mapmywalk app and it tells me I burnt 258 calories, but the main benefit is getting the fresh air and a positive start to my day. I make my regular breakfast – one protein weatabix with milk, low-fat greek yoghurt, a chopped banana, mixed berries, and a sprinkle of a seed mix.

9:00am I set up my work laptop on my dining table and log in. I finish eating my breakfast whilst going through my emails and making a to-do list for the day. My first task is to write up a review that I did recently with a service user. It was a very positive review, they have been building their independence and can now manage their daily life with much less involvement from carers. I phoned the care agency to check their rates and then update the support plan with the new lower weekly cost. I call the service user to let them know that the change has been made and we agree that it is time for me to end my involvement. I spend the rest of the morning writing a closing summary of all the case work I have done with them since I was allocated a year ago.

12:15pm I’m already in my workout clothes so I get out my exercise mat and use my lunch break to complete day 2 of Chloe Ting’s Summer Shred Challenge. Today there are four videos including the warm up and cool down and it takes me an hour in total. I mostly do the modified versions but even following the video I can’t begin to fathom how to do a side plank hip abduction! I take sips of water throughout and by the time I’ve finished I’ve drunk two pints. I don’t have a fitness tracker so I don’t track the calories burnt by these workouts.

1:15pm Lunch break is technically over, but working from home has to have some perks and I think a bit of flexibility on working hours is one of those. I have a quick shower and get changed into my ‘day’ leggings and baggy t-shirt. I don’t have to do any video calls so there’s no need to look professional and its comfort all the way. I make my lunch – cut up veggies with hummus, some rice crackers and a triangle of cheese. I’ve very hungry by now so eat quite quickly. Not satisfied so I also have a packet of sweet chilli multigrain wave crisps and a glass of diet cloudy lemonade.

1:35pm I log back on to my laptop. Unfortunately three of my service users have passed away from Covid-19 in the past few weeks so I email the team admin so the records can be updated with their date of death. I had spent a lot of one to one time with one of the gentleman and I feel upset and guilty that he passed away after moving to a care home that I had helped organise. I ring his son to offer my condolences and share a happy memory of the gentleman.

2:00pm I phone a placement to follow up a safeguarding referral. A service user was given an extra dose of medication, but it didn’t have any negative effect and the managers have discussed it with the staff member responsible. Determined that no further action was needed. Discussed how the placement was going in general and there were no other issues and no further role for me. I’d been due to close the case anyway so I wrote up another closing summary.

3:30pm I decide I need a snack, partly because I’m hungry but also because I want a bit of a break. I’ve been using up the food I had in the house so I don’t have many options and go for two digestive biscuits. I start typing up a mental capacity assessment that I completed over the phone. The service user in question isn’t able to make the decision themselves whether they should have home care or not. Part of the job is making the decision of what is in the person’s best interest and they don’t always agree with that. This has caused a lot of issues for this person in the past and I’m not feeling very optimistic about their situation.

4:30pm My concentration has gone out the window. I start thinking about what I’ll make for dinner. I usually make a batch of something on a Monday that’s enough for 4 or 5 portions and I just have to heat it up, but I’ve already run out of my last batch cook. I have most of the ingredients for a bean pot so make a shopping list of the other things I’ll need.

5:00pm I log off from my work laptop, switch my leggings for jeans, and head out for another walk. I want to put some space between my work day and my free time. Whilst I’m walking I phone my mum and we have a good 45 minute catch up. She hadn’t been feeling very well and said talking to me really cheered her up so I’m glad I did.

5:45pm I go to the supermarket on the way home. My closest store is a Lidl and it’s generally pretty well stocked now that everyone has stopped panic buying. I get the ingredients I need, as well as some bits for breakfasts and lunches, and I impulse bought a house plant. Total spend was £22.37. When I get back home the Mapmywalk app tells me that I burnt 338 calories.

7:00pm I put the shopping away and sat down for a second and suddenly it’s 7. I start making the bean pot following a random recipe I found online. Don’t realise until it’s too late that it calls for 50 minutes of simmering time, but that is a fairly typical move for me. Whilst I’m waiting I put some laundry away and have a general tidy up.

9:00pm Dinner is finally ready! I created it as a recipe on Myfitnesspal and it came out as 700 calories per portion. In total today I’ve eaten 1551 calories and burnt 596 through exercise. I eat my dinner whilst watching Lucy Wood’s latest youtube video. Her videos honestly feel like catching up with a friend, even if that does make me sound like an internet weirdo!

9:30pm I put on an ASMR video from TingTing ASMR. The soft whispering and trigger sounds are very relaxing and the best ones make my scalp tingle. I’d jotted down some notes about my day as I went along so I make them into this post. If I hadn’t spent so long making dinner I probably would have watched a Disney film. I’m watching the Disney Classics in order and the next one will be Sleeping Beauty.

10:30pm I’m going to put this post on tumblr then put my laptop and phone away so I don’t get too distracted. I’ll read for about 30 minutes, my current book is ‘Once upon a river’ by Dianne Setterfield. I usually end up going to sleep 11- 11:30pm, ready to do it all again tomorrow!

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.27 (Gordo and the Dwarves)

A zombified David Gordon appears. Someone needs an eye mask pronto

- Lizzie and her friends just back from watching a spy film and Gordo, with his inquisitive mind wonders why super-villains always want to rule the world since it’s a huge responsibility to have. Well, Miranda doesn’t care about all of that; She just wants to be a cruise ship singer. 

- Jo passes Lizzie her birthday gift given to her by the never-before-seen Gammy Mcguire even though it isn’t Lizzie’s birthday. This isn’t the first time her grandma had sent a gift over mistakenly; Remember in episode 1.21 when she gifted Matt a $50 gift certificate for his birthday when it actually wasn’t his birthday? It seems to be an ongoing trend.

- It turns out that Gammy gifted Lizzie a board-game titled, “Dwarflord: The Conquest”, which its premise is about an exiled dwarflord who wants to reclaim his kingdom from an evil wizard. 

This definitely isn’t Lizzie’s cup of tea

- As Lizzie is about to throw her present into the bin, her mom quickly stops her and tells Lizzie to at least play it for a bit before donating it to charity if she still doesn’t like it in the end. Lizzie begrudgingly agrees and signals for Gordo and Miranda to join her.

- However, her friends aren’t feeling this board game either and give her weak but albeit funny excuses for needing to go home instead. But Lizzie does some quick thinking (and some blackmailing? lol) and manages to convince them to stay and play the game with her.  

The Dwarf Tribe

- As they are getting deeper into playing the game, the more confusing it gets as there are so many rules they need to follow. On the other hand, Gordo seems to be getting the hang of it, to the point where he’s winning. Well, this doesn’t matter because Lizzie and Miranda don’t even know he’s beating them. The game ends quickly afterwards and they decide to head out to the mall. 

- At school, Gordo tells his friends he can’t join them at the Digital Bean after school because he’s going to play Dwarflord with some other kids in school who are also into the game. They are a group that calls themselves a ‘Dwarf Tribe”. 

- We also find out here that both Larry Tudgeman and Veruca Albano, whom we haven’t seen since episode 1.9 (Election) are also part of the Dwarf Tribe. Lizzie and Miranda aren’t too happy about Gordo ditching them for Dwarflord but they can’t do much about it anyways. 

I thought Lizzie and Larry are in a good place since the events of the last episode, ‘Scarlett Larry’? I guess Lizzie will never get used to Larry’s quirks lol

- Later that evening, Lizzie and Miranda are on the phone talking about their struggles with their English homework. They decide to call Gordo but he’s busy playing Dwarflord with the others. He tells them he can’t help them with their homework because he’s obviously busy at the moment. We also get the most random/strange moment in the series so far:

DOES LARRY HAVE MAGICAL POWERS? Like what....

- Anyways, after Gordo hung up on them, they talk about how concerned they are about Gordo and how he is being too obsessed with the game. Miranda is hopeful that he will lose interest in it eventually but Lizzie will continue to keep a close watch on Gordo. 

Gordo is Totally Hooked 

- Gordo is starting to lose interest in everything besides Dwarflord and this is affecting his relationship with his best friends. He’s also losing sleep over being obsessed with the game.

-  Even worse, he’s spending all of his daily allowance on Dwarflord cards and he even lies to Lizzie and asks her if he could borrow some money for lunch when in fact, he’s using her money to buy more cards. And to top it all off, his grades are slipping and wound up failing an English test. 

- We then get the first intervention attempt for Gordo; Lizzie and Miranda asks Gordo if he could teach them how to play Dwarflord at Lizzie’s place but they only did this to plead with him to quit playing the board game. However, Gordo seems to be in denial as he feels like he can still control himself and stop playing whenever he wants. He then got angry at them and leaves.

- Matt was witnessing what just happened the entire time and talks to them about his experience (mostly Lanny’s) with the game and how it can suck the life and money out of you. 

This is such a dramatic scene; I feel like I’m watching an action adventure movie. Anyways, Matt agrees to help Lizzie and Miranda get Gordo out of his obsession just because he helped Matt to get his head out from being stuck in a banister lol

- I mean, Gordo did help Matt on plenty of other occasions as well; Like the time he helped him with his Jet Li martial arts movie and even in the last episode, where he helped Matt and Sam to repair their old soapbox racer. 

Intervention Time

- At Hillridge Middle School, Lizzie, Miranda and Matt are planning to sneak their way into the game room to retrieve Gordo but there’s a guard (yes, a guard) standing by, in front of the door. 

As you can see, Miranda is using her feminine charm to convince the guard to show her where the nearest fountain is so that Lizzie and Matt can ambush this poor kid. 

- Afterwards, they make their way to the door on the other side of the game room where they can see Veruca, I mean, Princess Candlewick preparing a dwarf brew (in reality, it’s iced tea) for Gordo and the others to drink. According to Matt, it quite likely that Gordo would need to use the bathroom afterwards. 

- As expected, Gordo comes out of the room and he gets ambushed by Lizzie and Miranda. They stuff him inside a huge trash can and starts rolling him to another room to begin his intervention. 

Gordo is being subjected to ‘aversion therapy’ lmao and Matt explains it perfectly; It’s basically pairing any bad behaviour with unwanted pain. 

Of course Miranda needs to try it too 

- This moment makes me think back to the episode, ‘Bad Girl Mcguire’ because Lizzie was also given an intervention after transforming herself into a bad girl. Anyways, they try to convince Gordo to change his behaviour by showing him examples of people whom their lives were ruined due to being obsessed with Dwarflord.

- They then play this video, which is a compilation of past moments of Gordo having fun and being a regular kid. Side note: It seems odd that they have footage of these moments but oh well, I’m going to let it slide; It’s a TV show after all.

It looks like Matt’s therapy on Gordo worked....

B-Plot: Sam Mcguire and Eduardo Sanchez’s Hangout

- Matt tells his parents he wants to study wildlife but doesn’t know where to begin, especially when there is little to no animals in the backyard. Luckily, Sam points out that they do have a bird’s nest in an oak tree in their backyard that they can observe and study. 

- Next, we see them sitting on the oak tree with a makeshift bench (I think?), waiting patiently for something to happen. Matt is bored out of his mind and proceeds to quickly escape back into the house when Jo comes over to give them snacks. 

When you have an opportunity to escape, you better take it lol

- We then see Eduardo Sanchez (Miranda’s dad) show up in their backyard to give back Sam a hedge trimmer he had borrowed. it sounds to me like Sam isn’t too keen on him being there based on the tone of his voice. Eduardo seems to be slightly curious as to why Sam is up in a tree and randomly decides to join him. 

I need more of these two together 

- It seems like a few days had gone by with the both of them continuing to be intrigued by watching the bird’s nest. Even Mrs. Sanchez (Daniela) is feeling concerned because her husband has been doing this for hours upon hours every day. 

Both Sam and Eduardo aren’t budging; They are going to stay up in that oak tree for as long as they want. 

- Oh well, that’s the best Jo and Daniela can do. They decide to head over to the spa with Eduardo’s credit card. Nice one! I would have done the same.

- Towards the end of the episode, Eduardo and Sam notice that the eggs are hatching and they call out for everybody to come out quickly to witness the moment. Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda lost interest after 10 seconds and they went straight to the mall. Wow, I thought they would be interested to see the eggs hatching at the very least. 

- Suddenly, the crow mother swoops in and attacks Sam and Eduardo and they both fall from the tree. Ouch! Oh well, that’s the end of that. 

Overall Thoughts

- I found this episode to be one of the weaker ones of the season, to be honest. I wasn’t as invested in the main plot compared to the ones in the more recent episodes, which were all really good. 

- I think the story structure felt a little too similar to the ‘Bad Girl Mcguire’ episode, which is basically a main character gets introduced to something/someone negative and they change for the worse; Hence, it’s up to their friends to help them get out of the bad situation they’re in.

- In terms of the positives, this might surprise some of you because I’ve been tough on this character but I actually enjoyed Matt quite a bit here. He had some really funny scenes in this episode and it’s cool to see him work with Lizzie and Miranda. I actually low-key think that it’s also because Lanny isn’t in this episode. Oop....

- I also liked seeing Lizzie’s and Miranda’s parents interact with one another. It provided with some good comedic moments for me as well. Overall, this episode didn’t rank high on my list and it basically comes down to the weaknesses in its A plot. 

[egal-aboosta]

Kashrut

(TL;DR before read more and this post was written/planned before the recent drama)

I always told myself that I never got kashrut. I grew up in a family that did not like kashrut. To them, it was the enemy of workable Judaism.

We’d been “Jews in weird places” and/or had less than great food access for a few generations, and so we’d always been at a disadvantage when it came to the practicality of keeping kosher. Whether it was the generation that ate lobster on the New England coast so their neighbors wouldn’t think they had two heads or the generation that needed to eat pork in school lunch because they needed the calories, kashrut wasn’t the most accessible or reasonable.

But as my health has evolved making other spiritual connections and halachic obligations harder, I started noticing what I ate. I already didn’t eat pork in defiance (it’s both an “I won’t assimilate” thing and an “I have particularly intense ethical quandries with the pork industry”) and shellfish because it wasn’t to my taste. So the only major thing I had to notice was milk-meat combos...

(TL;DR: I took kashrut slowly and it strengthened my Judaism and helped me be a happier/healthier/better person)

(point of clarity: I use “dish” to mean like one contained recipe-thing, not a plate. i.e. cholent, spaghetti with meatballs in it)

I didn’t stop eating milk and meat together, but I started noticing when I ate them in the same dish.

I didn’t stop stop eating milk and meat together, but I started noticing when I ate them in the same meal.

Then I stopped eating them in the same dish. This wasn’t a big deal. It just happened. It felt weird to eat these two “separate” things in the same mouthful.

Then, when I ate meat and dairy in the same meal, I ate one and then the other. Alternating felt too much like putting the separate things in the same dish.

Then someone pointed out to me that per (many) Ashkenazi custom(s), you can eat meat after dairy so long as you drink water or eat something pareve in between. I started doing this because it connected me to tradition and made my practice feel less random.

Then I didn’t wait a particular time between milk and meat, but I started making a mental note when I ate meat and thinking back to the most recent of those mental notes when I ate dairy. I still ate it no matter how short that mental note (just not in the same helping).

The I learned about the custom of waiting an hour both ways. It made sense to me. While I liked my past practice’s connection to Ashkenazi Judaism, it felt weird to me to be able to eat meat right after dairy. And as someone who has to have a large snack to small meal every 4 hours or so with medication (and has lots of food allergies to convenient stuff!), six hours complicated what was healthy and packable. I started waiting an hour both ways, but only between things that were obviously meat or dairy.

I started checking for “contains dairy” and vegetarian labels to check if things are my ‘close enough to pareve.’

Now I usually hold by those labels and check for hecshers but don’t worry about them. Especially if I know what everything on the ingredients list is.

Right now, I sometimes mess up on waiting an hour (I think 2 days ago was the most recent?). Especially from dairy to meat because I didn’t first teach myself to think in that direction. Right now I don’t like hechshers. Where I live they can be hard to find. And I especially don’t want to stop buying from local businesses or eating friends’ cooking (allergies are hard enough on them already!). But I’m starting to get familiar with non-kosher ingredients (and how processed some foods are!) when I check labels. And soon I’ll probably start to imagine asking local businesses and even friends what’s in things not just for my allergens, but for kashrut ingredients concerns. It won’t be too complicated; there are vegetarians and vegans and people (me already!) with food allergies/intolerances. I think that’s a long way off, but that’s what I thought when I started each step. I started that first step less than a year ago. And over the course of drafting this post I’ve had to add a couple of steps.

Keeping kosher-style (which I’d say encompasses any and all of the variations above!) has been amazing!

It’s not some profound spiritual experience every second, but it’s made me feel more honest to my Judaism on days when I’m not feeling well enough to more active(?) mitzvot (I don’t like saying “positive time-bound,” especially here where study counts). When I can’t daven, I can still wait before eating a piece of jerky, or choose a hardboiled egg over some cheese.

And at times when I’m not feeling G-d, kashrut is still a connection to my traditions and to many Jewish people across the world. Keeping kosher-style has taken pressure off my davening; sometimes it’s flourished when I wasn’t looking, but other times it just made my kavanah’s natural wanes more bearable.

It’s also improved my sense of time, helping me remember when I should be taking medications.

But from a totally secular perspective, kashrut has also taught me to move on from mistakes. Each of these steps, even though I took things so slowly and as a result of strong pulls, has included missteps. I’ve learned to accept mistakes that happen, but also how to learn from mistakes to prevent their reoccurance. 

[ozianfizz]

I wrote another OC fanfic at 1 am

(One day I'll write Spinner in-character. But not today)

It’s funny what can happen at a convenience store. You can find a brand of candy bar that you haven’t seen in a decade, you can make a new friend in the form of a tired and overworked cashier in need of a raise, or you can meet a cute reptilian guy in the pastry aisle that's trying to shoplift.

Prior to the creation of the UA dorms, Millie Jones was living in a small flat in Kamino Ward. The rent didn’t cost much, the landlord didn’t mind Millie decorating the entire space with glittery pastels and Looney Tunes posters, and there was a Family Mart across the street that made the best late-night snacks in the universe! Well okay, maybe not the best, but when you’re a transfer student that’s training to become a Hero, there are only so many places that are open 24 hours and carry your favorite pastries and fast foods. Millie got most of her food from that Family Mart, and she enjoyed getting a few ice cream sandwiches and watching the people go by. She made friends with a few of the regular customers: the old man who enjoyed showing off pictures of his Pro Hero granddaughter, the exhausted single mother and her three kids who Millie loved to pieces (and offers to babysit them any time their mom needed a break), the insurance accountant who only drank black coffee and would rant about how reckless Heroes were going to turn his hair grey before he turned 30…

         There was one person she met that stood out in her mind, though. She first saw him on a late Saturday night with a few sweet buns in each hand. He was dressed in a simple grey hoodie and some tattered jeans, but he definitely wasn’t mundane-looking; his skin was scaly and a vibrant shade of green, and his shoulder-length hair was dark purple. Millie noted that it was the exact same shade as her favorite grape soda, and wondered if he dyed it or if he just naturally had cool purple hair. Either way, he was super cute. He had a mysterious air about him, and Millie swore she'd seen him before. Maybe he was an actor or something trying to keep a low profile?

The stranger stuffed a few of the buns into his hoodie’s pockets, and turned to go to the front of the store. He glanced at the register; the cashier’s nose was buried in a gossip magazine, and she hadn’t even noticed that there were any other customers besides Millie. He tentatively took a few steps forward towards the front door, but stopped in his tracks when he heard a bubbly voice behind him.

“Hi~!”

He jumped at the sound and whipped around to face Millie, with a look on his face like he was expecting a fight. After realizing the person behind him wasn’t a cop or Hero, and was in fact a high school girl dressed like a discounted Rainbow Brite doll, he relaxed a bit.

“Uh...hi?” He shifted uncomfortably. This was so awkward. All he wanted to do was get out of this stupid store with a few buns so he could have something to eat this week. This wasn’t his first time grabbing a few snacks and leaving without the cashier noticing, but he was usually at the store by himself. And now he wasn’t.

Millie twirled a finger around one of her pigtails. “I know this is super random and out of nowhere, but I wanted to say you look really cool! I’ve never met someone with purple hair colored like that. It really brings out the green in your uh, scales.”

The stranger was taken aback. Had she really not noticed he was planning on stealing? And wait...did she just call him...cool-looking? He blushed. “Th-thanks,” he replied. Squeaking out a single word counts as a reply, right? He didn’t know how to respond; plenty of people had commented about his appearance before, but never in a nice way.

Millie giggled at his shy response and looked down at his hoodie pockets, which were bursting with different pastries. “Ohmygosh, they restocked their dorayaki shelf!?” She turned towards the cashier, who was still buried in her magazine. “Yuki, what the heck? I thought you guys weren’t getting more until later this week!” Yuki shrugged, and Millie faced the stranger again after letting out a small huff. “I love the dorayaki here,” she gushed. “I could it eat every day, but they only put out 20 of ‘em on the shelf each week and that’s not nearly enough for me. So the manager said the next time he ordered some more, he’d get an extra box and just sell it to me in bulk from now on.” She pouted. “But I guess Yuki forgot to save my box or something and just put all of them on the shelves…”

She looked at the shelf with the remaining dorayaki, and then at the stranger with his full pockets. “Hey, how many of those do you have? Ten or so?”

The stranger glanced at his pocket pastries. “Yeah,” he replied. “But there’s plenty on the shelf if you want some.”

Millie started stuffing her purse with the forty leftover packages. The stranger noticed that despite how small it looked on the outside, the dorayaki fit inside easily; there weren’t even any sticking out of the top. She looked back at the stranger with a bright smile.

“My name’s Millie, by the way.” She held out her arm for a handshake. “I live across the street, so I’m always in here.”

The stranger just looked at her outstretched hand for a few seconds. He tentatively shook her hand, and noted how soft it was. Though when you have scales, everything feels softer by comparison. “I’m Iguchi,” he replied. “Shuichi Iguchi.” He gave a small, nervous smile. This was the longest interaction he’d ever had with a girl that didn’t end with him made fun of at school the next day. “And, uh, your hair’s cool too! Very...bouncy.” He immediately felt his cheeks turn pink. Bouncy? What kind of compliment is ‘Your hair is bouncy?’

Millie laughed. “Yeah, I get that a lot,” she replied. “Hey, do you wanna eat some of these with me outside?” She patted her purse. “Snacks are better when you have someone to eat them with.”

Shuichi stiffened. He had no money to pay for these buns and one potential witness to him shoplifting. Was she trying to trick him into confessing he was going to steal them? He thought for a second. No...nobody would go through this much just to get someone on the hook for stealing a few pastries from a convenience store. Still, he had to find a way to pay for these.

He decided he’d try to bluff his way out. He started to reach for his “wallet”, and acted surprised when he didn’t feel anything. “Hmm...well I guess I would,” he replied in a super natural, ‘I’m totally not acting’ voice, “But I can’t find my wallet! Maybe I dropped it outside. I’ll go check!” He took a few steps towards the front door, ready to break out into a run the second he was outside. Iguchi, you criminal genius.

Millie let out another giggle. “No, no,” she replied, “You don’t have to pay! The manager let me buy the bulk box of dorayaki in advance, so the ones on the shelf are already paid for.” She walked up to him and held open the door. “I was gonna let you have the ones you wanted, and we could eat together! And, like, get to know each other and stuff.”

Iguchi paused for a second. He was actually going to get out of this with a bunch of free buns and not deal with the awkward fallout of getting caught? He followed Millie outside. This girl was a bit weird, but you can’t say no to free snacks, right? “Yeah, okay,” he eagerly replied. They started walking towards a small seating area meant for customers who wanted to enjoy their food outside. He watched her fish out one of her sweets from her purse and take a gigantic bite. “Just out of curiosity, are you usually this nice to people you’ve just met?”

She shrugged and leaned against a small chair while she ate her dorayaki. “Yeah, pretty much,” she replied with a mouth of crumbs. She waited a bit to talk again after her mouth wasn't stuffed with food, and smirked. “But I’m always this nice to people who I think are cute.”

[spideyxchelle]

I know you probably have a lot of headcanon request. But if you would mind I'd love something along the lines of peter and mj are dating or on the verge of dating and Liz comes back. And then idk mj thinks peter is still into Liz and starts to pull away and peter is kinda like.. ??

this prompt has been sitting in my inbox haunting me forever now and i hope i do it justice, i’m not sure i did, tbh. music insp. 

there is nothing worse than an almost-something, an almost-could-have-been. and MJ knows that better than most how that feels. 

perhaps we should start at the beginning. shall we? 

for the rest of sophomore year (because homecoming is at the beginning of the school year) peter and MJ got close as hell. because of decathlon at first….and a little secret getting out.

MJ found his webbing formula in his school notes during a study session for chem and, for obvious reasons, had a lot of questions. and when peter tried to answer (see: fumbling) she didn’t buy his shit. so Ned had to learn to share guy in the chair duties. except MJ was better at eating snacks and offering witty commentary than geeking out over spiderman. because even if peter was a real superhero or some shit, he was still the same guy who had a mullet in the 8th grade. and c’mon.

the summer between sophomore year and junior year was the moment for peter and mj. their friendship was on a path, a one way ticket of inevitability. and where it ended they both kind of knew. 

they’d spent the whole year being friends, sharing laughs and inside jokes and becoming invaluable to one another. peter had lost count of how many times mj had patched him up after a mission gone wrong. or how many times she’d stolen his snacks during movie marathons. 

their touches burned, their glances lingered a bit too long…..and their smiles felt private and personal. even Ned found himself leaving the room whenever they had one of their awkward, fully-loaded moments. 

and MJ started to watch their every interaction. like, maybe today was the day they took the plunge. 

almost-something, an almost-could-have-been. 

because in august liz allen toomes moved back to new york city. 

she had gotten into Columbia, MJ heard from Cindy, and classes started in August. which meant the summer of almosts or could-bes can to an abrupt halt. their moment had passed. liz was back in town. and MJ knew there wasn’t even a contest between the two girls. 

which is why she pulls away. full stop. 

at first, its easy to pull away. peter doesn’t even try and fight it. she’s busy. she has to watch her little brother. she has a family thing. the lies come easily. 

slowly, it becomes harder. because peter starts to figure something is up. especially when they go back to school. because they have classes together and MJ still finds excuses to avoid him. in the same-fucking-classes. 

and her pulling away hurts. because he’s sure she was an almost-something, an almost-could-have-been. and he can’t put his finger on the pulse of what went wrong, of how he fucked this up. 

so, he does the worst possible thing. he asks liz. 

since she’s moved back, they’ve gotten close. ish. as close as he can be with someone he used to have a pathetic crush on and the daughter of the girl he put in prison. he and liz are insanely complicated. but good friends. considering. 

and she’s a girl. maybe she’ll understand how a girl thinks and feels. because he sure as hell can’t figure it out. 

he shows up at her dorm room and does an adorable, little snapchat about getting lost at Columbia (which MJ totally sees and doesn’t help the situation). when liz sees him, she notices his face and posture and immediately asks, “what’s wrong with you, peter?” “i’m having….girl trouble?” he offers sheepishly. she pauses, then pushes her door open more so he can come in. they get comfy in her room on her questionably springy twin mattress. “don’t you think its a little weird asking me for girl advice?” “i’d ask may…but she just tells me i’m great and then we eat thai food.” “okay,” she laughs, and he briefly remembers why he liked her so much. 

she was kind. he would have done anything for her, once. but everything that felt like worship with liz is also why his feelings faded. while MJ, his feelings were different. she frustrated him. sometimes he wanted to scream at her. but he wanted the hard times with her. almost as much as he wanted the good times. and he REALLY wanted the good times. 

“so?” peter waits for all of three seconds for blurting out, “i like MJ. and i thought she liked me.” liz blinks, obviously taken aback, “michelle?” “yeah,” peter stutters, “i just…do. “ “you don’t have to defend it to me, peter” he bounces his knee and asks, “so what’s the trick, the secret? how do i…..uh…make it happen?” liz pats his his knee in a forced effort to make it stop shaking, “there’s no secret, peter. sometimes you gotta just put it all on the line and hope it works.” 

he remembers the last time he did that. it was with the sweet girl with the gentle eyes sitting next to him. “i’m sorry,” he says surprising himself, “and i know i say that a lot…but i am sorry. for everything. for ditching decathlon, for leaving you at the dance. for everything.” for her father. for what he did to her family. even if he didn’t mean to. he thinks about mr. toomes more than he admits to Tony. he thinks his mentor suspects. 

liz kisses his cheek and it feels like a goodbye. maybe they needed this, he thinks. closure feels as good. “you should go talk to her.” “yea,” he nods, “i should. its been…weeks, though.” “you’ve got now,” liz says gently, “and that’s all you can have.” 

they spend the rest of the night talking. and whatever left over feelings he might have had for liz melt away. because knowing her, knowing her beyond the pedestal he put her on, makes everything so much clearer. she’s great. but so not for him. 

he needs his albeit it somewhat grumpy, brilliant best friend. he needs her challenge, her spirit. her smile. her random trivia on the diamond industry and its cruelty. everything. 

the next day he finds MJ in her favorite cafe. its more a library with coffee than an actual cafe but its so MJ it hurts. the books are worn and tattered. and he can hear MJ’s voice in his head saying that these books are used, they’re loved. they’ve lived. 

and he wants that for them. he wants to live like these books. 

he sits across from her in her reading nook. he doesn’t wait before he starts speaking, “why don’t you talk to me anymore?” she startles, narrows her eyes and replies, “i talk to you, parker. like right now. see?” “don’t fuck with me, MJ,” he says stronger, “you know what i mean.”

his words make it hard for her to look away. whenever he straightens his spine and talks up at her like an equal it always catches her attention. he demands her respect. and damn him, he has it. “i don’t know what you mean, loser.” 

“i thought we meant more to each other than radio silence.” “the summer is over, peter.” “we were friends before the summer, MJ.” “and we’re still friends.” “i thought,” and he channels liz, live for the moment, “i thought we were more.” 

and MJ scoffs, “you never….you….don’t act like….oh shut up.” “why?” he challenges, “i’m trying to figure it out, MJ. i’m trying to figure out what happened between us. we felt so close.” “you were literally with liz last night.” 

and it all clicks. the last few weeks. the end of the summer. her pulling away. all of it. 

peter stands, pulls down his shirt indignantly, “i was with liz to talk about you. because you’ve been ignoring me. because i like you. okay? find me once you’ve worked this out, MJ. the cold shoulder sucks, fyi.” 

MJ spends the whole night playing over the last month or so over and over and over again in her head. that line they were teetering on feels more and more real the more she thinks about it. and she was right. it wasn’t one sided. but she’d let liz’s appearance shake her unshakeable confidence. because peter parker made her damn vulnerable. fuck him. he was so wonderful. and it was a problem for her. 

the next day, she sits next to him in chem and she sees the corners of his mouth turn up in a smile. 

“don’t make a big deal out of this,” she chides him. his hand finds her under the lab table and they tangle their fingers. he smiles even bigger. “what did i say?” she mumbles. “yea, yea,” he squeezes her fingers, “i heard you.” 

they talk about it after school. and there is a bit of an argument. which ends in their first kiss. because she is talking so much and peter is O V E R it. he gets a string of curse words for his presumptuous move. which ends in their second kiss because MJ wants to stop talking of her violation this time. 

when she sees Liz three weeks later, its with Peter on her arm and she feels her face heat up but she’s so glad no one can tell she’s blushing. Liz smirks, “alright, MJ?” “i got there, okay?” “with a little push,” peter nudges her. she knocks him back, “i got there, though. gimme some credit.” 

[sincerlyyme-blog]

Walnut: Part Two (EVAN HANSEN X READER)

AUTHORS NOTE: i currently have 586 things in my ask box. 124 of those asks were for a sequel to my fic ‘Walnut’. SO HERE YOU GO KIDDOS

TW: all of them. smut mostly.

Words: 2,503

Requested: hell ya           

You were slammed on the mattress that was now hibernating beneath your spine. Your head hit a pillow, and your boyfriend’s body was hovering over yours. His torso found its way between your thighs. His lips latched onto the flesh of your neck. The room swarmed with sensuality and familiarity. Layers of cotton and denim were strayed on the hard wooden floors of Evan’s bedroom. The sheets that protected his twin size mattress were thrown carelessly. It was a battle of flesh against flesh, in hopes of winning dominance and sweet harmony.

           The feeling of Evan’s racing heart was caught between your fingers. Your hands roamed his exposed skin, drinking in the image of his radiance. His brunette eyebrows were lifted as his eyelids fluttered to a close. Your touch was like fire, burning down deep into his soul. His skin was soft. Your hands traveled to his blue boxers, slipping them down the hip bone that poked the surface of his skin. With a soft growl, he opened his eyes, staring at your anatomy once more.

           Your hands went to his hair. You tugged on the coarse hair that lined the nape of his neck. It was a warm tangle of limbs, and you were to ready to physically be as close as humanly possible.

           Evan outstretched his arm. He opened up his bedside drawer with a shaky hand. Slipping his fingers inside, he patted down the area, looking for a condom. After a few moments his eyes grew wide.

           “Oh no,” he mumbled to himself.

           You sat up, putting your body weight on your elbows, searching for a clue in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

           “This can’t be right,” he left your embrace, digging deeper into the drawer.

           “Evan, what’s wrong?”

           Suddenly his squirrelish like movements came to a stop. He groaned out quickly, looking at you sheepishly.

           “We, uh, ran out of condoms.”

           You jumped up, searching through the drawer yourself. “No, that can’t be! Remember? We mapped it out so that way we would have two left for today?”

           After yours and Evan’s first time, you went to the corner store and bought a box of condoms. You both knew that the two of you were creatures of habit. So stealing a single condom from the guidance counselor would not be useful. There were 36 in the box. You and Evan had grabbed a calendar, mapping out how many you would use as of what day, and when you would need to buy another box. Obviously, you both dreaded the day of having to go out and buy another box, but it was easier on Evan’s behalf to prepare himself mentally. Which he did not.

           “We should have two more,” you repeated, biting onto your thumb.

           “Well, there was last week where we had an extra round,” Evan spoke quietly, scratching the back of his head.

           Last week was your parent’s annual Caribbean business cruise. Every year they would leave for six days on a business trip to an island get-away in the Carribean. Every year prior to last, you would be home alone, sitting on the couch, eating, and binge watching Netflix. This year, however, you and Evan took the empty house as an opportunity. That weekend the two of you decided to see how long you could both last. It started off as a normal make-out session. Then it moved into grinding and thigh-riding. Then slowly cascaded to oral. And finally finishing off with the big-banger. You came, an all time record, of four times. Evan, however, felt like it was not enough. The two of you cuddled until he woke you up with an, unplanned, morning round.

           “Okay, yeah, but what about the other one? Shouldn’t we have at least one more?” you crossed your arms over your bare chest, feeling the tiniest bit exposed.

           “Three weeks ago. When it, um, broke,” Evan softly reminded you.

           Three weeks ago was Evan’s birthday. Everything started perfectly, your plan was smooth sailing. You surprised him with a new matching set of underwear. He was over the moon. He was so excited that his trembling hands broke the condom while rolling it on.

           “Oh yeah,” you sighed.

           “Well, what now?” Evan asked with wide eyes, rubbing his hands up-and-down your arms reassuringly.

           You shrugged your shoulders, reaching down on the floor to grab Evan’s hoodie. “You’re going to go out and buy another box,” you bluntly stated.

           Evan scrambled, picking up his boxers and putting them back on. You threw his hoodie at his chest.

           “B-But what if the guy at the counter knows me? What if he tells my mom? What if he thinks I’m some weird sex freak who-“

           You laughed, shaking your head, placing a kiss on his cheek. “You will be fine. Just get in, get out. Don’t make weird conversation. You aren’t the first teenager to buy a box of condoms, Ev,” you pulled on the rest of your clothes.

           “I have to go home and get my things ready for school. Text me when you get home, okay?”

--

             Evan opened the door to the pharmacy. A soft ‘ding’ ran through the building. Evan jumped the slightest. He looked over at the man who stood behind the counter. Evan offered him an awkward, toothy grin. The man just scoffed back, placing a toothpick between his teeth. He was dressed in a white lab coat. Evan began to think that maybe he was apart of the CIA.

           The aisles were shortly stacked. Colonies of Advil and rubber gloves sectioned off the pharmacy and a small doctor’s clinic. Zipping his hoodie up a little bit further, Evan walked down the aisles. There, lined up in a row, was different renditions of what he needed. There was latex free, regular, extra large, five times more friction, and anything else he could think of.

           Why are there so many?

           Why are there flavours?

           Different sizes?

           Is mine considered large or small?  

Finally, Evan picked up a box. The purple label looked like the one you had bought last time. He clutched it in his hands tightly. His thumbs brushed over any dirty words, as if to seal them away from his own public morals. He felt like he was frozen in place. Almost as if his feet were permanently planted to the floor. Evan knew that he needed to buy the special little box of tin foil wrappers. But he just couldn’t seem to carry himself over to the cash register.

           Should I stack the box between packages of candy so no one sees?

           Should I just leave, tell Y/N that the store ran out, and just get her to get them?

           Should I call my mom to get them for me?

           Oh God, don’t call mom. Don’t let her know you’re having sex.

           She’s going to know I’m having sex.

           Everyone is going to know.

           It will be so embarrassing.

           How will I-

                       “Is that Evan Hansen?”

           Evan whipped his head to the left so quickly that he could have sprained it. There sat Jared Kleinman, grinning in a plastic chair. He was sandwiched between two people. All three of them were holding a piece of paper with numbers on them. Evan had guessed that it was the “take-a-number-and-wait” system for the clinic.

           Jared’s smile was genuine. As if he actually cared about seeing Evan, coincidentally, at the local pharmacy. The corner of Jared’s lips went from genuine to mischievous in 3.12 seconds. He saw the wall of condoms that surrounded Evan.

           Jared rose from his seat, walking over to Evan, sneering at the purple box that was clutched in his hands. Evan’s entire face flushed to a shade of maroon.

           “So you’re getting it on with L/N, eh?” he wiggled his eyebrows, elbowing Evan in the ribs.

           Evan’s eyes shut tight as if he was trying to shake himself out of the conversation.

           “We just- we ran out, okay? And I needed to pick up some more, but I am scared that-“

           Jared snorted obnoxiously, waving his hands in the air. “Wait, wait, wait,” he settled his hands on his hips, jutting his stomach outwards, “you’re trying to tell me that you have had enough sex to finish an entire box of condoms?”

           Evan nodded shyly, as if he was in trouble. He looked down at his feet. He focused on the frayed thread on his shoelaces. He couldn’t build up the courage to look back at Jared.

           Suddenly a hand swiped the purple box out of his hands.

           “Well, Hansen, today is your lucky day. I am going to get these for you,” Jared then grabbed Evan’s wallet from his hoodie pocket.

           “Y-You’re what?”

           “Yeah, I’ll get these for you. It’s the least I can do. I mean, it will make me look like a total catch,” he began to walk to the cash register until Evan stopped him.

           “W-Wait! Let me get you something. A-As a way to say ‘thank you’?”

           Jared stared at Evan for a few seconds before chuckling, “God, you’re weird.” He looked around the stacks of snacks, pulling out a random see-through container. “Here, get me these,�� he looked closer to read the label, “candied walnuts.”

           Evan’s eyes grew wide. He felt frozen again.

           “Anything but that,” he murmured softly.

--

 Evan ran back home, the purple box was hidden in his hoodie. A small grin plastered on his face. He unlocked his front door, calling out to you.

“I’m still in your room!” you called out.

Evan had only been gone for an hour at maximum. That was enough time for you to run home and grab a few things that you needed for the weekend. Evan flung his shoes off his feet, slowly trudging up the stairs. They creaked beneath his feet. He took the box of condoms out from underneath his hoodie. Opening the door to his bedroom, the purple box fell out of his hands and on his floor.

While at home, you grabbed a set of lingerie that had been sitting at the back of your closet for a while. You had bought a set for Evan’s birthday, a few months back, and the store was having a 2 for the price of one deal. You forgot all about it until today. It was baby blue, and lace. On the spectrum of lingerie, it was not too scandalous. Rather, it was elegant and sweet.

You smiled at Evan. His eyes were the size of golf balls and his mouth hung open. You sauntered your way over to him.

“W-What’s the occasion?” he asked softly, his hands ghosting over your silhouette.

You smiled softly, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips, “Nothing. It was just a surprise for you.”

Evan grinned widely, slamming his door shut, and throwing you back onto his mattress. He slobbered kisses up and down your neck, making you laugh loudly. After you began to cramp up from the laughter, Evan lifted his head to look into your eyes. He was giggling, his nose scrunched and his tongue was pressed against the bottom row of his teeth.

“I love you,” he breathed out. “I love everything about you.”

He kissed your lips, then your ear, then your neck. “I love the way you say my name. I love the way you look at flowers. I love the colour of your eyes. I love your lips. I love your ears. I love your neck.”

His hands went down to your breasts, palming them softly. “And, gosh, I love these,” he giggled with a blush. You slapped him on the arm playfully. You both laughed softly, connecting your lips once more. The kiss was warm and full of love. It was like a twist of purity and losing a childhood innocence wrapped in one. Night and day. Indescribable.

Evan pulled away from the kiss. His lips trailed down to the band of your lace underwear. Your boyfriend pulled them down your legs, placing them to the side of the bed. He looked up into your eyes, placing sweet kisses along your knees and inner thighs. His kisses inched closer to where you ached for him the most. You needed him there.

Taking his fingertips, he opened you up softly. His eyes focused on the most sacred part of your body. He got butterflies in his stomach whenever he reminded himself that he was the only other person who was allowed to see it. Evan dragged his lower lip against your core, planting a soft kiss to the sensitive flesh. You sucked in a breath, watching his every move. His tongue delved out of his mouth, licking a stripe upwards. It was warm and sent tingles down to your toes. Evan took his time. His tongue darted in and out of you, penetrating you slowly. His nose rubbed against your core as he worked on you.

The familiar know formed in your stomach. As you began to brim closer to the edge, Evan pulled away to speak to you.

“I’m not done,” he spoke lowly. Pulling his right hand off of your leg, he waved his hand to you. “I want to put three in you before you cum,” he referenced to his fingers.”

“Ev, I won’t last,” you warned him, breathing quickly.

“You know what to say,” he connected his mouth back to your core, slipping his index finger into you.

You let out a small yelp, your head thrown back into the pillows of Evan’s bed. Your abdomen was tensing and you were second-guessing your own willpower. You felt the tip of Evan’s middle finger protrude into your entrance, his tongue tapping the sensitive nub above. You held on as tight as you could. It felt like your abdomen was being ripped apart. You couldn’t hold on for much longer.

“Walnut,” you cried, grabbing onto Evan’s thick head of hair.

Evan didn’t stop. He stuck his ring finger into you. You didn’t think it was possible.

“Walnut! Evan! Fuck!” you couldn’t hold on anymore. Your walls were coming down. Your muscles were tightening and you were seeing stars.

Evan sat up, wiping off his mouth and fingers on his sweater sleeve. You stripped him down. When he was finally fully bare, you wrapped your fingers around his shaft. You jerked him off slowly, running your thumb along his slit. You began to move faster.

“Shit, walnut, stop,” he grabbed your hand and stopped your movements. He was already hard and leaking at the tip.

Ripping open the sacred purple box, Evan pulled out a silver packet. He opened it with his teeth, rolling it onto his length. He teased your entrance, daring to keep you waiting. Finally, he thrusted slowly and passionately. His hips touched yours as he delved deep.

 You and Evan both came that night. No safe words, no stops, just pure bliss and feeling of ecstasy. And never, once in your life, did you ever think to thank Jared Kleinman.

[yourstreetserenade]

santana and kurt would totally be drag race superfans and no one can tell me otherwise

You know what I was thinking, there really should be a Kurt/Santana friendship fic set during the high school years in which their relationship is explored through their mutual obsession with Rupaul's Drag Race.

Because if there were any two Glee characters who would become Drag Race superfans, it would absolutely be Kurt and Santana, undeniably.

Like they'd somehow find out they had the same favorite show. I think one day during glee Kurt and Rachel would probably be harmlessly bickering with each other, going back and forth about some song or costume choice and early-Rachel's tendency to dress like a toddler until he pointedly says ''you'll never be glamour''. Of course no one else in the room gets the joke/reference, except Santana who laughs inwardly. She and Kurt have a quiet, playful moment where they look at each other from across the room and realize they share something.

And then they sort of start this game together for a couple of weeks where they slyly throw out random lines and catchphrases from the show in front of the glee club. ''Go back to Party City where you belong'' Santana says to Sam for no apparent reason. Kurt tells Tina ''your tone seems very pointed right now''. Randomly approaching Finn Santana asks ''may I call you Jiggly?''.

No one has any idea of course but each time they get away with it Kurt and Santana always give each other these really adorkable pleased smiles. Then, after some time Santana just conveniently shows up at Kurt's place on show night, but tries to play it all cool and nonchalant acting like she only dropped by to pick up sheet music or his notes for class or something. Kurt however can totally see right through that of course and gives her what she asks for but also invites her down to his room because he was about to watch some TV. And Santana's all like ''fine whatever I can waste a few minutes'' when really she's secretly kind of giddy and delighted to have a Drag Race watching buddy.

It happens one week, and then the next week, and then the next and the next and after awhile all of Santana's pretenses drop. It's just sort of a given that on new episode days she'll just find her way over to Kurt's, they'll sit in his bedroom totally enraptured. Their friendship is a slow build at first, making silly bitchy chit chat with each other about the challenges and the queens but by mid season they're all in, having loud but playful, passionate debates about their favorite queens and runway looks, shouting when someone they love goes home, shaking their heads at Untucked scenes while they scarf down snacks, clutching their hearts when someone gives a really good lip sync. Together they can effortlessly reenact/recite Shangela vs Mimi Imfurst's iconic fight, although Kurt and Santana always bicker over who gets to play act Shangela cause neither of them ever want to be Mimi.

Also! Because Kurt likes to host you know he would try out all of his recipes on Santana during their Drag Race sleepovers.

They don't talk about it at school, they don't talk about it in glee, but it becomes like the crux of their friendship. And even though the visits still revolve around watching the show together, they start sharing other things too. I think Santana would appreciate Kurt's collection of vintage Vogue magazines. Santana would probably be willing to sit and critique all of Kurt's new wardrobe haul. I imagine they'd probably also get into this routine of buying random beauty/exfoliating products and trying them together (which they would then Toot or Boot!)

Drag Race becomes their special thing. It brings them closer. And at the end of every episode they have a mandatory dance off to The Beginning, dancing along with the queens on their TV. Because Kurt and Santana are those kinda dorks.

Eventually though I think there would come a day where Santana sat Kurt down and was like ''so Brittany and I are kind of official now and I know Drag Race is sort of our thing but I was wondering if maybe it would be okay if next time I come around, I bring her with me.'' And Kurt just smiles and tells her of course and that that he's really happy for them. And Santana's all ''whatever stop hugging me, Hummel''.

That's when this blond little cupcake enters the picture.

And here's the thing, Brittany would probably walk into that first Drag Race sleepover excited to see what the show was all about and to see Santana enjoy herself but because they’re a couple the dynamics would be get all screwy for awhile.

Kurt sometimes would probably feel like a third wheel sitting on the couch with them, especially when is Brittany gets all kissy and handsy with Santana who would try to focus. Like ''Brittany, not that I’m not enjoying this but after the show, okay? The judges are about to critique! Oh that feels good.'' 

It's not so much that Santana and Brittany pull that behavior at every Drag Race sleepover, it's that sometimes it's just plain awkward for Kurt to be their third wheel when the girls decide to get all cuddly and couply beside him. So he has an idea. ''Santana, if I have to listen to you and Brittany make those gross slurpy kissy sounds all night I should get to bring a friend to Drag Race night too!'' Figuring that it'll probably be Blaine or Mercedes Santana tells him to invite whoever he wants.

And that's when this annoying little muffin shows up.

And Santana is not pleased. Drag Race night is sacred and she doesn’t want Berry being a part of it at first. I imagine Rachel falling asleep during her first episode and Santana deciding that anyone who dares fall asleep in the middle of an episode will automatically get painted in their sleep. So the next day Rachel wakes up painted like Trixie Mattel (thanks to Santana, Brittany and Kurt because it was a group effort really). And Rachel is surprisingly a good sport about it that Santana is okay with Berry taking part.

I just imagine lots of kooky friendship moments.

I also have some headcanons about which queens would resonate with which characters. Like I totally see Kurt rooting hard for Jinkx Monsoon because he would appreciate Jinkx's quirky theatricality and the fact that Jinkx is an underdog who refuses to be dismissed. Rachel would totally identify with Alyssa Edwards because they both have that loud personality, you kinda of want to roll your eyes at them but you love 'em anyway. Meanwhile Brittany would be ALL about Katya. Why? Because Katya is batshit crazy in a way Brittany would find wonderfully delightful. Brittany and Katya are both such weirdos so it would make sense that she'd be Britt's favorite queen.

I strongly feel that all of the characters would gravitate towards queens with personalities similar to theirs. That said I'm still not entirely sure which queen would be Santana's #1. I go back and forth but I think maybe in the end I have to say Willam would be the queen Santana most felt connected to. ''Y'all wish for me to be nice and I'ma try''. I mean that quote just screams Santana.

Sure there are plenty of shit stirring queens throughout the season but I feel like Willam was more subtle and calculating where so many others were messy and chaotic. So I think Santana would totally get that and appreciate that about Willam who has a certain kind of bitch magic that appeals to her.

Man, I need someone to write this fanfic! 

[lunafound-aa]

👣 B)

@veiliisms​ // ♡ // accepting like two more this took me four years !

pregnancy

do the parents have one child or are there twins, triplets, etc.?

- i’d like to think that they might have two ? like they have their first child and then maybe a year or two later they have their second child !

what do the parents name the baby(ies)?

- depends on the gender but yume always wanted to name her daughter after her late mother , akane !

did the parents discuss other names, too?

- of course , yume would love to hear what other names they could come up with

how do they decide on the name(s)?

- randomize ??

what would the child have been named if they had been the opposite sex?

- depends on the other parent ?

did the parents find out the sex during pregnancy or is it a surprise?

- yume would love to do a baby reveal for afton , like spraying him with silly string or something !

were there any complications in the pregnancy?

- maybe , due to yume’s small size and how fragile she gets i could see minor complications

which parent carried the baby?

- yume !

how easy was it for them to conceive?

- very easily

was the child carried to term?

- i’m going to assume this means the baby was due on time , if so , yes !

did the parents deliver in a hospital, at home, or somewhere else?

- hospital , def

did the delivery go according to plan?

- a lot of crying and screaming tbh

did the parents have any daily rituals (reading to their belly, etc.)?

- yume read books and sang and spoke to her belly a lot , i could kinda see afton rubbing her tummy and speaking to the baby

do the parents have a baby shower?

- yume would love to , but she doesn’t really have that many people to invite

what about a babymoon?

- nahh

how supportive was the other parent during the pregnancy?

- afton would be very supportive !

which parent worried the most and which one was chill?

- yume would be constantly worried

which parent left pregnancy books all over the house and which didn’t touch them?

- yume read all of them and i feel like she would make afton read the most important ones

infancy/toddler

is the child a good sleeper?

- most of the time

how often does the child cry?

- not often

which parent finds it easier to get them to stop?

- yume ? she probs coos at them and rocks them back at forth

how does the child behave at bath time?

- run for the hills !

what is the child’s first word?

- bunny ?

how bad do the child’s diapers smell and which parent has the misfortune of changing them?

- yume would make afton do them , but they’re not that bad

which parent has a harder time adapting to their new role?

- afton , def

just how terrible are the terrible twos?

- HORRIBLE

does the child go to day care? if they do, how old are they when they start?

- yume would rather be a stay at home mom and stay with her baby

if the child doesn’t go to day care, who says home to look after them?

- yume , but afton loves to watch over them

which parent babyproofs the house?

- yume .

which parents designs the baby room?

- BOTH

which parent is more likely to give in to tantrums?

- yume

is the child spoiled with toys?

- totally

which parent does the potty training?

- both

which parent has to take them outside to hose them down after a particularly nasty diaper?

- afton

which parent do they take after more?

- afton !

what habits do they pick up from their parents?

- yume’s hair twirling

how often is the parents’ date night now?

- not to often but they enjoy just staying in and watching movies and cuddling

who babysits when the parents go out?

- yume’s older brother , chase , along with his daughter , claire !

child

how did the parents decide what school to send the child to? or was the child home-schooled?

- yume and afton both choose the school they go to !

who packs the lunches?

- both , yume makes lil notes though

are the lunches eaten by the child, or thrown away?

- they always eat it !

which parent helps with homework?

- both of them

what does the report card look like?

- a’s and b’s

is the child/ren popular, or only have a few friends?

- popular but has their chosen close friends

does the child play a sport?

- maybe

does the child play an instrument?

- oh yeah

do both parents turn up to the matches/recitals?

- of course !

which parent buys their clothes? or does the child pick out their own clothes?

- they pick our their own clothes !

what’s the child’s style?

- crazy and random ! bright colors

is the child more interested in playing inside or outside?

- they love both !

how often does the child get in trouble? what do they get in trouble for?

- they don’t get in trouble a lot but maybe just being stubborn and fighting a little

does the child have any siblings/cousins? how well do they get along?

- if they have a younger sibling they would get jealous but they would love them , but if they were older they would feel the need to protect their younger sibling !

what pet does the child beg for? do they get it?

- a dog ! and will like they would get a small puppy to raise

is the child shy and reserved, or outgoing and gregarious?

- they’re in the middle of both !

does the child still take after the same parent they did as a toddler?

- totally

teen

what does the child want to be/do when they finish school?

- depends on their interest as a child or what they get into in high school

which parent does the child get along with better?

- they both try to get along with their child

is the child out all night partying and drinking with their friends, or staying in studiously doing homework? or both?

- both

how does the child go on their SATs? do they make it to the SATs?

- they would study really hard to try and get a good grade

does the child go to prom with their friends, or a partner?

- maybe some friends like a group but if not they’ll go with a partner

how do the parents feel about their first boyfriend/girlfriend?

- yume would be okay with them as long as they’re safe and happy , afton on the other hand ..

what are the child’s friends like? do they get along with the parents?

- yume would be the one to make cookies and snacks and afton would be the one to tell cool ass stories

what kind of music is the child into?

- rock music ?

how do the parents and child/ren go learning to drive? is it a disaster, or does it go fairly smoothly?

- disaster

does the child have a casual/part time job? what is it?

- being a cashier

does the child hang out with their family, or are they too ‘cool’ now?

- they always have time for their parents , no matter what

what’s the child’s personality like?

- strong , sweet and kind , but they can be cruel if needed

who does the child take after now?

- afton

adult

does the child make it to adulthood?

- yep !

does the child end up in the job/lifestyle they dreamed about? why?

- they worked hard for it , with a little help from mom and dad of course !

are their any hiccups in the road?

- isn’t there always ?

does the child move far away from their family, or stay close?

- maybe an hour or two away from home

what would the parents prefer?

- that their baby stays near home

does the child have any significant others? any children of their own?

- maybe a s/o and a few kids

how do the parents feel about being or not being grandparents?

- they’re both so happy about it !