#I need to find queer community I need to find queer community I need to find queer community I need to find queer community

[news-wiz]

this!! the executive order does not define intersex people and it is simply ridiculous! individuals who aren’t trans, but don’t fall into the m/f binary, are taking a hit from trump’s blatant attacks on trans people and are getting brought down with us. trump didn’t consult or listen to any kind of professional in biology for this order he made regarding biology. he clearly just fragrantly threw together enough disinformation to make an effective scare-tactic document.

he’s actively giving the middle finger to all science that could actually benefit the people of the united states, only supporting science that can make the wealthy wealthier. and also supporting “science” that can make the wealthy wealthier. scientific study and research exists to make life better for everyone. trump is dragging it down even farther by restricting and immobilizing the NIH and pulling the usa out of the WHO. trump’s word about any sort of health emergencies, or the lack thereof, will be god’s word to so many usamericans and it really is scary. like, why on earth are you trying to defund and denounce health, safety, and science?

i really hope we nip this in the bud about a third term for trump. being able to set precedents using his blind following and scare tactics grants him a lot of power. if republican reps and senators can get that amendment through, they’ll have precedent to amend it for a fourth term. i mean, go read rep. andy ogle’s proposition on his own website. he’s playing it off like he’s just such a fanboy for trump, but he’s just throwing the whole playbook of nonsense out there as justification for setting such a dangerous precedent.

keep informed, take reasonable precautions, and stay safe. understand how you will know when to take action and what action you will need to take. don’t overact, especially not too early. right now, they’re using scare tactics. if we let them scare us off, they will have gotten exactly what they wanted. stay queer, stay informed, and most importantly, stay safe. if you’re in a right-wing state, preparing a go bag with food, water, blankets, your necessary documents, and a plan of places you can find heat and shelter, so that you may grab it and leave at any point if trouble comes knocking or if radically oppressive local/state/federal laws are being enacted, is a reasonable precaution.

it is important for trans, intersex, nonbinary, and gnc individuals to find solidarity in each other, especially right now. the presence of the Y chromosome at conception seems like the likely factor that will dictate whether they will put F or M on a person’s documents. they will probably do away with being able to make your gender marker undeclared. they didn’t even bother to include intersex people, who can fall biologically outside of the m/f binary and are unique from either sex, in their official definitions of the sexes they will recognize.

i read through the whole executive order, it’s a dreadful document. it’s on the white house’s website. it is wrought with misinformation. it is propaganda and disinformation against trans and queer people.

may the universe grant responsible, thoughtful, caring, inclusive, people who aren’t motivated by profit or hatred the power to change and run this country. may we all empower each other to make waves and be our authentic selves. let us find solidarity and community with one another to resist this and stay safe.

Also btw trump recognizing only "the two biological sexes" harms intersex people too. I am a researcher of sex and it's affects on disease, and sex is far more complicated than "two sexes" and it always will be. Sex is multifaceted and there are far more than two binary sexes. Keep that in mind too. Don't fall into bioessentialism as you fight for trans people and intersex people.

[noihavenosanitythanksforasking]

thinking about how milevens tend to assume that bylers want mileven to break up just because we want byler to happen.

no love

wanting byler to be canon and wanting mileven to break up are two separate wants.

Mike and El have their own story outside of will. Even if Mike wasn't queer and Will wasnt around this story would still be their story. Will may be a character in their story but the story is still about mike and el. Mike and Els story line is the marriage of the two of their two individual character arcs.

El's story arc is based around the fact that she was abused as a child and was dehumanized to an extreme level that no child should ever experience. She does not have an identity of her own. She wasn't raised to even expect to have one in the first place. Her story is learning to be able to her own person. To just be herself and learning who that person is.

When she met mike she created an identity around him. and identity of being the super powered mage who saved the day. that was El. then she became mikes gf and suddenly she was now "mikes gf". It wasnt until she met max that someone actually tells her that she is allowed to be her own person. "theres more to life than stupid boys" "what feels right" before Max she was just existing trying to play a role of what she was supposed to be rather than figuring out who she was or who she wanted to be. What she wanted. El is not raised to have wants. El was raised to be a weapon, a lab rat, a tool that does what they are told.

When this story intersects with a story arc like Mike has you get the disaster that is Mileven.

Mikes story arc is actually very similar. Mike is a very codependent person. He wants to feel needed. he wants to feel useful. If he doesnt have a use to someone he thinks he must be a waste of space. Mike doesnt know who he is outside of other people. He has never explored what he wants for himself. He is for other people. As a codependent person myself i can relate to this a lot. It can be hard to know what YOU want for yourself, outside of people you care about. Mike puts his loved ones before himself so much to the fact that it tends to get him into trouble more often than not. The issue with being codependent is that you become almost blind to who YOU are and what YOU need. you suppress your emotions for other people and these emotions only tend to surface when you realize that holy shit. i cant do anything here. This is the situation mike is finding himself in during season 4 and continuing into season 5. there is nothing he can do anymore. it is clear that him putting el above his own feelings and giving her what she wants in his attempt to help is not working. In fact its HURTING his relationship with el. Now mike doesnt know what to do. so he's drifting. El was his trauma partner. when things get too hard and too confusing he retreats into "el mode" where his only thought is what El needs. This is not a healthy mindset AT ALL. no matter how much the media romanticizes that sort of thing. IT IS NOT HEALTHY. you cant live like that. but now El has communicated "i dont want that. stop lying and get your shit together".

so mike is stuck. and el is stuck.

because theirs is a coming of age story. however not all coming of age stories are romantic. Mike and El cannot communicate with each other. they are both selfishly selfless in the way they treat each other.

I am going to be who you want me to be because i think thats what you want and it makes me feel secure.

this is not something you want in a relationship. a relationship is based on trust and vulnerability. being able to be youre rawest and truest form of yourself for another person. and feeling seen and loved despite it.

this is not present AT ALL in mileven as a couple. they are both discovering who they are still and are not space to be doing that in a relationship where they feel the need to hide themselves from each other. you cant find yourself that way.

wow look how much nuance i pulled from mike and el without mentioning will once. wow its almost like will is not the reason their relationship is failing

[bengiyo]

Ben’s Queer Cinema Reviews #1

I often spend a lot of my writing time on BL reactions and reviews. However, I came to BL through queer cinema, and so I want to devote more space on my blog this year to the queer films I also watch along the way. Like the BL Blurbs, I’ll post these probably once a month as a round up of what I’ve watched recently. Today I’ll react to Queer, High Tide, and Paradise of Thorns. Spoilers ahead.

Queer:  A Disturbingly Charming Look at Addiction

When I first learned of this film, I was really excited to see Daniel Craig and Drew Starkey cast as the leads. Both are well-trained and extremely talented actors, and I knew they would give earnest, committed experiences. We got far more than I expected from these two in what evolves into a mesmerizing display of addiction. Yet what lingers with me the most is how singularly I understood the emotional gap between the characters and its commentary on queer existence. 

Craig uses his quintessential charm in what might be his most unlikeable character to date, and I was compelled by how much I couldn’t look away from the mess that was William Lee, an American expat living in 1950s Mexico to sate his desire for drugs and flesh. His pathetic attempts to cajole and entice men to his bed consistently land as weak and a bit sad rather than aggressive or perverse. The consistent layer of polite disdain most characters express for Lee stands out alongside Lee’s clear decision to ignore it. 

Starkey plays the hot twink in a way that comes across as effortless. His character remains completely unknowable throughout the film, and yet the ravenous way he plays Eugene Allerton’s food and sexual habits makes him so alluring. Eugene constantly surprises William and viewers with his willingness to partake in Lee’s escapades, and even care for him when Lee gets sick. Yet, every time he goes cold on Lee it’s completely reasonable and expected. I sympathized with Lee’s desperation to know and understand Eugene, even as I understood that there was no way that Eugene could ever give Lee all the things he needed. 

As we get deeper into the film, we learn that Lee is addicted to narcotics, and he cites it as the primary reason he couldn’t remain in America with his “condition.” He takes Eugene with him on a mission to meet someone who can give him access to ayahuasca, and the two go on a psychedelic journey that unlocks a deeper connection within them than I think either was ready to experience. The two separate in a way that leaves Lee forever incomplete in a way that I think properly honors the unfinished source material from a controversial writer. Still, I found myself attuned to Lee’s desperate loneliness and self destructive tendencies, as well as the affection and loyalty his friend Joe (Jason Schwartzman) showed him. 

Final Verdict: 8.5, Recommended With Reservations. This is a beautiful, if difficult, film in quite a few ways, what with its surprisingly lurid depictions of sex, frank presentation of drug use, and gross behaviors Lee exhibits. However, for the types of queer cinephiles who still yearn for the complex depictions of queer men before the AIDS crisis, and for those who love to see charmingly messy gay men, I do recommend the film. The painful emotional gap keeping all of the gay men in this film from full connection and community with each other. It lingers like a bad taste on the mouth as a reminder that most of these men are playing around in what would be exotic settings for them to take advantage of what they can’t get back home, and that many of their peers back home will end up selling out their own community when things turn rough.

High Tide: A Melancholic Look at Moving On

In High Tide, Lourenço (Marco Pigossi), a 30-something year-old Brazilian man finds himself floundering in Provincetown at the end of the big tourist season struggling to move on from an unexpected breakup. He traveled to the US to be with his boyfriend, but is abandoned and left in the wind with nothing but a tourist visa. Cared for by the kindly Scott (Bill Irwin), Lourenço makes ends meet by working under the table cleaning short term rentals. One day while swimming, he meets Maurice (James Bland) and a spark grows between them. 

I enjoyed the complex intersectional nature of this film and its look at the cruising culture of places like Provincetown. We get to explore the effects of an HIV exposure and how quickly that can happen alongside the ways wealth and race intersect in queer spaces. Maurice, a tall, beautiful Black man, feels isolated and alone in such a white environment, and yet his wealth and citizenship in some ways makes him more secure than Lourenço. Maurice also offers us the opportunity to examine our presumptions about Black queer masculinity and what pleasure looks like between two men. A difficult moment between Maurice and Scott lingers with me. 

This film had a lot of complex feelings about queer friendship, family and faith, how drugs fit into party culture, and how generational gaps inform queer interactions. The spiral of this film was tense and gripping. My friends and I commented as we went along how expected each new crushing moment felt as things fell apart around Lourenço, and how the film made sure to not paint anyone as unbelievably perfect. The recognizable humanity in every character underscores the emotional conflicts and connections across the entire film. 

Final Verdict: 9: Highly Recommended. This is definitely my favorite of the three films. I found myself revisiting many of the emotions I felt in the untimeliness of the connection in Weekend (2011), and the pain of trying to move on as you age up in the closet in Pit Stop (2013). The bittersweet ending of this film left a memorable impression on me, and I know I’ll be returning to it as a meditation many times in the future. Lourenço’s grief may be one of my favorite experiences I’ve had with queer angst in recent years, alongside All of Us Strangers (2023). Also, Marisa Tomei is a producer and actor in the film!

The Paradise of Thorns: A Violent Glimpse Into Greed and Avarice in a Declining World

The Paradise of Thorns sets us in the fallout of a succession battle after the partner of a gay man dies unexpectedly, and the durian orchard they spent five years building together passes to the partner’s mom instead. While I went into this film with a lot of excited about Jeff Satur playing the lead role of Thongkram, along with Engfa, in a story directed and produced by Boss Kuno, this was not my favorite outing for everyone involved.

Thongkram (Jeff Satur) loses his partner, Sek (Pongsakorn Mettarikanon), to an accidental head injury on their farm. He rushes Sek to the hospital, but he doesn’t possess the legal authority to authorize treatment on Sek’s behalf. Meanwhile, Sek’s mother Saeng (Srida Puapimol) and caretaker Mo (Engfa Waraha) struggle to make the three hour journey to reach the hospital (Saeng no longer has use of her legs, and Mo is on a borrowed motorcycle). Despite humiliating himself, doctors cannot authorize treatment on Sek and he passes away before they arrive.

After they bury Sek, Saeng and Mo move onto the farm and steadily push Thongkram out of his own home. Thongkram tries to fight this in court, but loses badly. Meanwhile, Saeng and Mo bring another young man, Jingna (Harit Buayoi), onto the farm to learn from Thongkram so they can get rid of him. A series of mind games plays out across the film as Mo and Thongkram vie for the trust of Saeng in the hopes of gaining control of the farm after she dies, culminating in a brutal showdown at night.

Final Verdict: 7.5, Recommended With Reservations. For this film, I think many of the ideas rushed ahead without grounding them in accessible character motivation. I think, in particular, Thongkram’s romance with Jingna didn’t track very well for me, nor did the wavering relationship he had with Mo. I think there are probably two or three scenes missing that would have given us the belief that the two of them and Jingna could have made it as a trio before things went to shit, but the film didn’t seem to know how to accomplish that with Saeng holding all the power in the dynamics here. Moreover, I think this film undercut its own messages about queer rights by complicating Sek’s relationship and role in all of the drama here. This film feels strongest as a commentary on poverty and greed as people fight over a durian orchard planted as a monoculture on degraded land more than as a queer film with strong themes and ideas there. Still, it is a beautiful film with compelling performances from Jeff and Engfa. The final showdown is extremely brutal, and I’d advise viewers sensitive to all kinds of violence to watch with caution.

[forcemascexperiments]

"Notice how force masc themes copy a lot of force femme themes" "The mlm flag is just a copy of the lesbian flag"

It's because we LOVE you!! It's because we are paying an homage to you!! We aren't creeps stealing from you!! We are your friends!! Your family!! Experiencing queerness with you and beside you!! We are not the opposite of each other!! We are compliments of each other!!

Through horrid circumstances, you've only been able to find solace in groups of people who are just like you. The people who hurt you, including the men, should have done better. But that's not everyone's experience! Trans men and trans women have enjoyed playing with femininity and masculinity through kink with eachother since forever! If you're given the opportunity to branch out to more open communities and you're able to voice your needs in these communities, then I hope you do. Because we are not strangers snatching your culture. We have been there since you have been there too.

[quiet-admirer]

What you wrote about the shift in the online definition of feedism is interesting to me! I was exploring the online scene during that time (2011), too, and I feel a bit the same and a bit opposite. I saw “feedism” being used as a catchall term that folks lumped everything involving eating or gaining weight under. Stuffing and bloating were included under “feedism.” Even vore was occasionally under that umbrella.

I think now I see it as similar to the label of “queer” vs more specific labels within the queer identity. Queer itself can be an identity or an umbrella term. Like feedism can be a kink in its own right, or an umbrella term for other kinks. I hope this makes sense.

Sorry for sitting on this ask for ages, I was trying to find a few sources I *know* I have read with different definitions of fat fetish related terms, and I was curious to look back and them and see what they said. One was an older webpage and one a 2010s-ish? webzine, I believe, with like infographics and everything, but for the fucking life of me I cannot find them!

That's interesting, though! I agree, I have definitely heard feedism used as an umbrella term for as long as I've known it, I just don't think it was as common back in the day in my memory. It was (/is?) my impression that people who weren't as invested in the nitty-gritty of various terms used a looser definition, kind of like people now who don't distinguish between "feedism" and "feederism".

But with all of this kind of stuff I can never tell what might have been representative of the communities at large and what might have been a reflection of the specific slice of the Internet I happened to be exposed to, so who knows. The way feedism was always explained to me when I was learning about it was a feeding dynamic 🤷‍♂️ That's more useful for me personally but I don't make the rules about how other people want to identify, and I've kind of started seeing in the past year or 2 that if I really cared enough to make it a battle it would be a losing one lol, all the youths seem to be using it as an umbrella term to mostly mean weight gain kink at this point. I also may be 100% wrong and just made up the definition in my head without realizing it back in the day and have run with it for years!

I do think that it's worth being very intentional about how terms are defined and used in formal or academically-minded writing about ourselves, though, and making sure we're acknowledging the nuances in how the term is used, and I think my points I made in my reply to the post we're referencing still stand.

I once read a line in a paper or article or something that expressed the opinion that after so much research done on BDSM over the decades on what BDSM, what engaging in fetish dynamics and acts "means", the most solid conclusion that can be drawn is that the BDSM community are the worst people to ask about what BDSM means because nobody fucking knows and there is 0 consensus lol. I imagine it would be similar for our side of the tracks, too, there's a lot of variation and diversity among us.

What I really wish could happen is getting a huge sample of free-text submissions of terminology definitions from people in the fat/feeding/weight gain fetish realms just to see what everyone's similarities and differences were!

(and this is why we need to document and preserve and archive our shit, it sucks that it's so hard to go back and compare how we were defining ourselves in the past!)

[oarfishing]

this?

this is terf shit.

idc if you're technically "including" trans people in your man-hating.

this is terf shit.

"men are completely evil due to their gender"? terf shit. "marginalized men telling me to step away from bioessentialism are evil?" terf shit. "women are the top most oppressed class?" terf shit. "transmascs act like victims?" terf shit. all that "sisterhood" "i hate men" "i love other women who hate men let's bond over how much we hate men"? that's terf shit. sure, it's not technically "trans exclusionary" since look, see, they love trans women! but if you examine what terfs and radfems like them actually believe - that is, the root behind all of their ideology - this sort of gender essentialism is exactly their platform.

a PSA to all the lovely people out there, especially trans people: if you see somebody like this, somebody talking like this, they are not your friend. prioritizing hate over love is not the trans ally take they think it is.

and if you are a woman and you think you get to speak over any and all sorts of marginalized men who go through so much shit not just in spite of but because of their gender, you are not an "intersectional feminist." you are not a trans ally. if you think trans people who fight for trans rights - which includes trans men, if you can believe it - are just "MRA"s, you are not! a! safe! person!

stay safe out there 💓 trans love forever

[0highlyvolatile0]

hi! transmasc here!

it is in fact just transphobia. transandrophobia and transmisandry implies that there is some cisgender equivalent to these experiences, and cisgender men are not oppressed strictly on the basis of being men or being masculine. no one in the history of ever has been oppressed for being a man.

you might think "well, transmasculine people and butches and the like are punished for being masculine!"

common misconception! they're being punished for being *queer.* very big difference between the punishment trans women receive even BEFORE THEY REALIZE THEY'RE TRANS for being feminine.

the key difference is before trans women come out, if they underperform masculinity, they are reduced to womanhood. if they reclaim that womanhood, they are reduced even further, and their femininity is revoked, being third-gendered. that's transmisogyny.

before trans men come out, if we underperform femininity, we are just failed women. to transphobes, we're still women, we just suck at it, so when we claim masculinity, we're still failed women to them. (I'm putting a lot of emphasis that this is from transphobes' perspectives of thinking, not mine because these things beg to be taken out of context.) that's transphobia (by account of being misgendered) and misogyny (by account of being treated as inherently lesser for being coercively assigned female at birth)

all that being said, these experiences are not the same!

if you were a cis man, you wouldn't tell a cis woman that you're more oppressed than her because masculinity is a burden you have to bear by patriarchal standards, right? I sure hope not! (and, if you as a transmasc feel as though your masculinity is burden to you, you might want to reevaluate your relationship to it.)

transmascs deserve to have their identities respected just like any other person in the community, and we might have experiences here or there that are unique to us, (I have yet to find any that haven't been debunked) but you don't need to talk down to women to make yourself feel heard. uplift our sisters!!! listen to them, talk to them, you might find out that they too experience these things, and then some.

I will admit that I used to subscribe to this way of thinking, but I've come to realize that a lot of this anger directed towards tranfems and trans women and/or in opposition of them stems from feelings of inadequacy. it's literally the exact same principle as cis "men's rights activists." you feel burdened by not performing masculinity enough and you take it out on the people systemically below you, you deny that they are oppressed and project those feelings onto them, therefore oppressing them.

we are oppressed for being transgender, but we are not oppressed for being men. stop talking down to trans women!!! you're making fools of yourselves.

non-transmasc. before you is a transmasc person talking about their experiences with being transmasculine and the oppression that they experience for being transmasculine. the bomb detonates if you tell them to just call it transphobia, if you imply their oppression/experience is incorrect, if you tell them that they signed up for it for being transmasculine. begin.

[plspush]

Caleb loves everything Halloween, that much is very well known. A lesser known fact is that he has a deep fondness for Christmas. Maybe it's the obvious connection between the two holidays, or maybe it's because most of his wardrobe is cozy and/or winter coded. It's mid November and the wind has begun whipping icily through the primarily bare trees, the sun departs at 5pm, and Caleb's due in just a few short weeks. He knows there's no way he's making it to Christmas with his bun still in the oven. He already feels heavy and sore - practice contractions have been making unwelcome appearances the last couple of days. He knows he has to get all of his December activities out of the way now. He can't go get festive cocktails with Aiden and their friends - he'd feel so bummed to just sit at the bar, uncomfy and so, so pregnant, no fun bevvy in hand - so he and the crew are instead opting to hit up the holiday markets, which luckily opened up at the start start of the month. Jax has taken to protecting the precious bump from the crowds, Maiya has been scoping out all the cute holiday baby merch, and Aiden has been tasked with finding Caleb a hot chocolate that can give him the same vibe as the strong, black, caffeinated hot coffee he's been craving his whole pregnancy. A pretty tall order he isn't sure he can fill. Caleb has been taking in his last few moments with this big round belly, and the last days of the group headcount being four. He smells gingerbread and coffee and hot apple cider, he hears his friends’ laughter among the sleigh bells, and he feels completely full and content for maybe the first time ever. His found family is just so close to becoming a full-fledged family. Maybe pulling through his rough start at life was worth it after all. He’s scared; he had never anticipated becoming a parent, much less giving birth himself. The way his people came through for him though, supported him, made him feel capable. The fact that he has three people willing to do all the Christmas stuff a month early and drag his sore, round, pregnant self around while trying to make everything nice for him and everything go his way… It’s just more than he could have asked for. He’s feeling a solid future ahead of him, when just a few years ago he believed he’d be better off not in this world. He feels community. He /found/ a non-caffeinated, strong hot chocolate that gives him coffee vibes, and it even has sprinkles. He’s okay.

[1doesnotsimplyhavejust1fandam]

Since we didn’t get a proper HenBuck scene about him discovering his bisexuality, I think we all deserve a nice scene post-BT breakup where the two of them talk about how much of an ass T is. Buck trying to apologize because he didn’t see it sooner, but Hen’s just keeps saying he got there in the end and that’s what matters. HenBuck are always adorable, I must have more of the sibling energy from them!!!

And it’s actually so criminal that we didn’t get a scene with the two of them talking about Buck coming out (although I’ll forgive it if it’s because Hen couldn’t bring herself to support a relationship between her surrogate little brother and That Man, and she didn’t want to lie to Buck, especially about his first queer relationship). I don’t think Hen would want to interfere in anyone’s relationship, but especially a relationship that is a new beginning for Buck and his identity. She’s a lil nosy, but she also cares so much about her people, and the fact that we don’t have a scene where she explicitly tells Buck that she’s proud/happy for him discovering more about himself is so loud, especially given that she’s the only other canonical queer member of the 118 firefam. She would just trust that Buck could figure things out on his own - after all, she’s the one who’s believed in him probably the longest at the 118. That’s her little brother, guys, I refuse to believe that the Henren scene in the hospital was the most reaction we’ll get from Hen about Buck’s newfound bisexuality.

[epiphainie]

if bucktommy's conflict, or more specifically buck's spiraling, is about an old relationship/commitment etc. and in some aspect addresses this being buck's first relationship with a man (based on josh's presence in his scene with maddie) i have this tiny tiny tiny hope that we see buck call himself bisexual. it can be anything from a passing comment or him embracing the label within this storyline

[seewetter]

Hello and thanks for the reply.

I agree with you that transfem separatists do not exist. What the comic seemed to pointing at is not an organized separatist movement but a sort of vague gesture towards people making unreasonable personal demands of other people's private lives and lifestyles. And certainly I've encountered doomerist types in trans circles, including people IRL who say absolutely extreme things about whether or not you can trust people in your life. If you think that the comic should mind its own business instead of vaguely hinting at probably irrelevant behaviours especially in transfeminine circles...we agree. As I said, I don't find this comic very insightful.

What a needlessly longwinded post was expressing was that I'm neither a fan of the comic nor particularly liked this comic strip!

These encounters I've had with doomerist types are why I seemingly "defended" the comic. When trans people who I know exist in the flesh say "no parents truly love their trans children", saying that is cruel. And if such a person were to say that this doom and gloom is justified because of all the transfeminist theory they've read -- I think its fair for anyone to critique this insular mindset. Even in a comic.

I don't know you. You said this seemed like a 4chan meme to you, so maybe this is a comic you stumbled on. As I said in my last post, I wager in that case...this seemed chan-y because it's cheaply made and the hashtag below the comic seems to be an author "I'm not transmisogynist but"ing her way out of responsibility for how her comic comes across.

As I said, you and I both don't really like this comic, but I can tell you (from it appearing on my dashboard every few weeks) that it's a transfeminist comic written for a transfeminist audience. The hashtag asking people not to take this as transmisogynist and to look at context... is a terribly worded, but sincere attempt at conveying that. Apparently a failed attempt.

But it's possible that you and I are very different in ways that make it impossible to agree on how we perceive this thread. After all, I don't think anything serious is happening here that touches on trans liberation in any way.

So to me, attacks on the author that come from an angle like "we need an apology, this author is a terribly irresponsible comic artist, this is transmisogynistic social forces that are shaping the artist and their audience" are projecting onto this comic panel a social context in which it is widely read and thought about by... young impressionable trans people who get transmisogynist ideas about transfeminism and vulnerable members of our community? Or by cis queers and cishets who entrench their two-faced behaviour towards those more vulnerable members? It's sort of treating this comic not as an artefact of the obscure side of Tumblr trans culture that rarely gets viewed outside the audience of transfeminists its made for...and instead treating this comic which talks in metaphorical veiled language about trans issues... as some highly accessible cultural product that must be held to the same standards as major representatives of our community or mainstream journalistic outlets.

Like the comic on this page isn't doing anything great, but it's also not doing anything - period. So it's not harmful in any meaningful way -- but I can't fault you for thinking that it is, because hoo boy, those hashtags out of context are just atrocious "pay no attention to how bad this looks, just check my whole blog for context". Yeah no, you can't be expected to do that and the artist should have known better.

Anyway, sorry for being longwinded. I'll work on it.

rationalize

[ID: Three panel comic with crudely drawn stick people

Panel 1: A leaf green person is talking to a grass green person with a hat and glasses.

Leaf: "And then Orange said that-"

Grass: "Orange"? Your friend is orange?"

Leaf: "Yeah?"

Grass: "Why do you have non-green friends? Don't you know about misoviridy??"

Leaf: "…I have plenty of non-green friends. I have grayscale friends, even."

Panel 2: Grass Green solemnly holds Leaf Green's shoulder.

Grass: "Look. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but every single misoviridy-exempt friend you have secretly hates you.

Leaf: "Uh. That is not true."

Grass: "It's basic viridist theory. Every single moment they're around you, they're thinking about it."

Panel 3: The grass green person tips their hat down.

Grass: "Look. I get it. You're naive and uninformed. You don't know better. But read "Pruning Greens." Then you will understand."

Leaf: "I already read that. It did not say the things you are saying."

Grass: "You will see. It is inevitable."

Leaf: "No I think you're just finding a new way to rationalize really unhealthy thought patterns here actually"

End ID.]

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[mime-rodeo]

being bi is so much fun because you crush on literally every single girl you meet and that one singular guy you see once in a blue moon.

[badolmen]

People love ragging on Catholics on this site (fast free and easy like river water socks) but I think it’s extra funny y’all seem to think Catholics are some sort of sex prudes. Like, if a Catholic man does not give his wife an orgasm he is failing his sworn duties as a husband. I did not endure polite insinuations that my parents fucked often and well to have as many kids as they have for you to act like any self respecting Catholic is a celibate virgin. Laypeople have sex in this denomination Kaitleign. What are we, Calvinists? Jansenism is soooo 17th century Protestant Reformation-informed heresy.

[donnieisaprettyboy]

2014 - realized I liked girls but began desperately trying to “pray the gay away”

2016 - stopped believing in Christianity as I began to better accept my sexuality

2020 - publicly came out as bisexual, and shortly after my gender crisis began

2021 - nonbinary ? we’ll run with it, I’m experimenting! I’m playing with it! I’ve been in college for a year so now I have the room to try some things out!

2023 - my first pride parade! and the gender crisis continues on…. I would really love more masculine features… a deeper voice is my dream… I see men with flat chests and I get so envious. maybe I’m trans?

2024 - FINALLY allowing myself to use multiple labels that feel right! nonbinary, transmasc, genderfluid, genderqueer, they all feel like ME! planning on starting HRT after I get married and get onto my fiancé’s health insurance. plan on getting married in a wedding dress because THAT’S WHAT I WANT! because gender is not a strict binary and I am allowed to play with it however I want! my gender is not for the pleasure or comfort of anyone else! I got to experience my SECOND pride finally feeling content with myself and my identity! I’m happy! I’m so happy :)

[hum-tittle]

I've decided if I ever get married I'm not having a first dance but a first fight which will be a

Sword fight

It will be a cheeky, fun, mildly risqué choreographed sword fight that will end in a ridiculous kiss.

And obviously we will have to quote Road to El Dorado.

[ohmyglobwhatthefrickamievendoing]

I will never be over how at its core OFMD is about queer hope and joy in finding the strength to change and grow, specially during a stage in life/age at which the majority will say that you should be settled with who you are and what you're doing

From Stede falling in love with a man and finally realising he's queer, and embracing that with all the overwhelming joy that he can possibly embody, after years stuck in an unhappy marriage trying to force himself into a role that didn't fit him

To Ed finally falling in love with someone and using that as a catalyst for change to find out for himself what he wants to do and who he wants to be, after years of feeling like he was stuck in one place and treading water

To Izzy finally finding a safe community where he can try out new things and find new ways to express himself, after years of being so tightly wound up and repressed

To Anne & Mary stuck in a rut and unhappy but scared they're too old to change, burning down their old life so they can move on forward together and try something new

To Buttons doing the impossible and changing into a fucking bird

Doesn't it give you hope?

Doesn't it make you overwhelmed?

That no matter what age you're at and no matter how scared you are and no matter how impossible it seems, you can still grow, you can still change, you can still find your people and you can still discover new things about yourself.

That you don't need to figure out everything about yourself in your 20s. That you don't need to fall in love and start the perfect life by your 30s. That you don't need to know exactly who you are and how you're expected to spend your life by your 40s.

That you don't need to remain stuck in the box you put yourself into because that's what people dictated or because that's what was safest.

That you can always grow and change and try something new and it's never too late